pigeon-system-boys - Tumblr blog

[pigeon-system-boys]

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

[pigeon-system-boys]

TW NSFW

"Mental health matters " until you want to have sex with your own parents

I feel so dirty

[pigeon-system-boys]

Very very true thing, I can't formulate it better

Since the OP made their post unrebloggable (and blocked me. Both actions they are well in with their right to do)

I'm going to make my response it's own post because I think the point is important

-

As someone who is autistic and has BPD and CPTSD and loads of trauma yes you sometimes need to change how you interact with others to keep people around

When I was 13 I hit the few friends I had when I was angry

I had to change that in order to keep those friendships

When I was in my early 20s if I was losing an disagreement with my husband I would threaten to kill myself. My husband told me it hurt him and was cruel and manipulative behaviour, because it was.

So I worked hard to change that to keep my relationship

It's easy to say "I shouldn't have to change for others" and that's true to an extent. You shouldn't change your interests or passions or dim your light. And you should have space to be imperfect and flawed and not have to pretend your ugly bits aren't real. But if something you are doing it causing other people harm you kinda need to change that.

That's called "living in a society"

People adapt to each other and make space for each other in their lives. You adapt to them and they adapt to you

You start being more diligent about throwing away the empty toilet roll because it really bothers them. They start warning you before they run the blender because you hate loud noises

I stopped threatening to kill myself because I was mad I was losing an argument and my husband stopped being so vocally judgemental amount media he personally dislikes

There is a certain type of person who heard the phrase "your emotions are valid" and took that to mean "my emotional reactions and my behaviour are always objectively correct because my emotions are valid and if you have an emotional response or react to what I'm doing negatively then you are wrong and you can't be hurt because my emotions are valid"

And that's a recipe for disaster

Your emotions are valid to feel. They are how you feel and there are reasons you feel the way you do

However, your reactions and behaviour are something you can learn to control and can be irrational

We live in a society and we as people change each other as we interact and that isn't necessarily a bad thing

[pigeon-system-boys]

True. Thank you guys /srs, pos

[pigeon-system-boys]

Not 11

Okay seriously. Reblog if you're OLDER than 11.

[pigeon-system-boys]

SJSKSJSK I READ YOUR POST ABOUT YOUR PARTNER W ASPD AND IT REMINDED ME OF MY EX (saying this in a positive manner even though she was shitty, so nw) dunno it felt so validating to read that as someone with aspd.. also the pedophile psrt was the exact same convo we had w our ex lmao

/pos /gen

YEAHHHHH so happy that my post gave you positive emotions!!

And glad we aren't alone in pedo thing, it was scary to write

[pigeon-system-boys]

In our case our FUCKING SPECIAL INTEREST is

In fact

OUR TRAUMA

(Methods of tbmc)

Son of a Bitch Moment for the Neurospicys

Your hyperfixation is related to your trauma

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

[pigeon-system-boys]

Love that. Pigeons are in fact COOL

It breaks my heart to see how underrated pigeons are. The fact that we had literally domesticated them, making them absolutely dependent on us and now that we've abandoned them, we treat them poorly when they try to coexist with us. It's our responsibility for how they have adapted, how they can't build nests and how they try to find food wherever we are. Please be nice to pigeons

[pigeon-system-boys]

With love. (/plat)

i hope you get through all your trauma anniversaries with as little pain as possible, and i hope the pain lessens even more next year

[pigeon-system-boys]

The tragedy of looking like an old man when you are not even in your twenties

[pigeon-system-boys]

It's a message for every person who thought - or still thinks - that being cruel will make them stronger.

Oh god, I wish it would.

Our story under cut if you need reasons why, but it's pretty much the whole message

Tw for mention of bullying, snиff, death, gore and violence under cut

We always saw cruel, cold, unbothered people as the strongest in human society. They, who mocked an autistic classmate and loved to see teachers cry, seemed so powerful and strong - it was our dream to be like them.

Our high empathy became a burden for us when we were in 2nd grade and was until we reached 11th. It made us too weak, it made us everyones target. (Later we understood that it was autism and not empathy, but at this time we didn't know we have it)

So we trained. We watched a lot of things - too much to stay sane and safe. Zoo, necro, csem, real snuff movies - you can find a lot if you really want and don't care. Our hands were shaking, we were chain smoking malboro and crying, and still wouldn't stop. We were punishing ourselves for tears and continued.

It worked in some way. We ruined our empathy for the longest years. We stopped crying at all. We laughed when someone - don't remember who - broke their arm in front of us, because they were crying and it wasn't "bad enough to cry"

You know what happened?

No one started respecting us.

They started fearing, they were disgusted.

Bullying got much worse just because we were not "a nice girl" anymore and became unpleasant to be around

And we spent so many years recovering.

[pigeon-system-boys]

When stressful situation ends and alters are leaving crowded front like this

[pigeon-system-boys]

Idk if my partner is aspd, they have some symptoms...

Their empathy is like -3. None for most of the people. I am the first person they are empathetic to, and being with them feels like blessing.

They are protective, they love me like a dog would love their owner (this is scary sometimes), they are the most caring person I've ever met, they compensate my extremely high (painfully) empathy and they teached me how to live then there is war and genocide around us, they...

They CARE.

They are always here for me, they LOVE me, oh my god, I've never experienced so much love

They accept me!!!!!

Our contact about my (anti-contact pro-recovery) pedophilia went like:

-I think I'm pedo. Fuck.

-Fuck. This is dangerous for you. If you rape chi-

-No, never.

-Oh, cool! If you want, we can try age-pl4y

-Nah, don't think I would like that for now

LIKE. EXCUSE ME???? THEY ARE THE BEST PERSON EVER??? THEY ARE SO SO NICE AND CARING AND SO COMFORTABLE AND SO SILLY AND THEY LOVE THEIR PETS AND THEY LOVE LOVE LOVE ME!!!!

And they always care, always accept me, always here to help...

Always!!!!

Been seeing a lot of the bullshit about people with aspd/npd or low/no empathy again, so to combat that, I wanted to share a bit of positivity, so.

Things that are wonderful about my low empathy pals

Extremely perceptive

Almost impossible to freak out (great horror movie buddies)

Their ability to see through bullshit is unmatched

Immune to petty drama (unless it's funny)

Their sense of humour????????? The wildest, seriously

Perfect Poker Face

The ability to stay so calm in emergencies

Some of the least judgemental people I know (who knew rejecting social actually makes you more accepting of others? /sarcasm)

Some of the fiercest, most loyal and protective friends to those who have earned it

Unique and shrewd perspective on things because they're immune to guilt-tripping

Understand that actions, not thoughts, are the measure of a person's morality

Secretly the biggest animal lovers you'll ever meet

....and lots more things I didn't mention, but most importantly the most wonderful thing about aspd, npd, and low empathy people is that they are here, they are alive, and they are a beautiful expression of one of the many ways one can be human. They are just as capable of being good or evil as any other person is. If this is you, I want you to know I'm proud of you for surviving everything you've been through, especially the trauma and demonisation. You are worthy just as you are.

Please feel free to add anything I missed! Obviously not everything on this list is going to apply to everyone, since it's drawn from my own friendships and experiences, and everyone is unique, but that's half the point, isn't it?

[pigeon-system-boys]

Hey. Hey you. Can you infodump me about your headspace?? I like stories about headspaces, it feels beautiful /gen, nf

[pigeon-system-boys]

"I want to visit your headspace so much, it seems so aesthetic!!! "

Average day in headspace:

This situation isn't real. No one ever said that our headspace is cool in some way :(((

[pigeon-system-boys]

Me, laying in my cozy bad, completely safe, with loving parents in another room: "I wanna go home :( "

The closest thing I can imagine when I say "home":

Anyone same here ??? No?? Like... Pls???

[pigeon-system-boys]

It's so beautiful I'm actually crying

your cosmic travel agent

are you a weird unexplainable extraterrestrial entity seeking a vacation on earth? enter a soft and flimsy human body today!

we have pain, yes, but we also have cute little band-aids with hearts on them. we have dogs with boopable noses and wagging tails and we've got sunsets that all look the same but are all equally wondrous. you can count the stars when you can't sleep, and when you DO sleep you get to watch movies that reveal the state of your unconscious mind - and it's totally free!

try pizza fresh out of the oven piled high with gooey melted cheese and pepperoni. try sushi, bubble tea, and don't forget the iced coffee. read books. take in the perfumed scent of fashion magazines. try tattoos, piercings, and comic books.

and when times get rough, as they're bound to do, just remember - it's not forever! you'll be home soon. the trials and terror of earth seem small measured against eternity.