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IDIA MY DARLING MY SWEETHEART MY MAIDENLESS LOSER <333333

literally had to put my suitcases down and take a minute

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no warnings, apart from the fact that ‘emperor’ is used as a gender neutral term and Vil is slightly yanderish here. also, this is based purely on the apothecary diaries anime, so don’t expect it to be historically accurate at all

Thinking about Emperor! Reader with Vil Schoenheit as your high consort…

Who, due to his untouchable beauty, immediately passed the selection process, and had climbed the ranks rather quickly, being promoted to a high consort in no time.

Who sat and patiently waited in his bedchambers for you to arrive, so expectant, sitting there in his loosely tied plum-coloured silk robes, shifting himself into a more glamorous position when you entered…

Who promptly arched an impeccable brow when instead of undressing him, you simply flopped next to him on his, admittedly, massive bed. How… peculiar.

Who figured that perhaps it was a fluke - after all, being an emperor wasn’t an easy feat. But then it happened again. And again. And again. And again.

Who began to get used to these nightly visitations, which consisted of him and the sleeping emperor - not the most traditional arrangement, but the sound of you snoring as he worked on his embroidery was the perfect white noise, so it was a win, he supposed.

Who was quite sure you were fond of these nights as well, judging by how many gifts you’d recently bestowed upon him - elaborately designed robes lined with fur for the harsh winter, slippers with the softest leather soles, even an array of impressive jewellery from the east. “A bit on the nose, no?” He had sniffed once. (Before promptly deciding to always wear one of your gifts whenever he left his part of the inner palace.)

Who was waiting for you to visit his bedchambers as per usual… and nothing.

Who initially thought it was a one time thing. After all, you were an emperor, after all. Maybe you had to visit some other concubine. Maybe you had a bad day.

Who was totally, definitely fine with it at first… until he learnt that you spent the few weeks not visiting him with a lower ranking consort - not even a middle ranking one - called Neige LeBlanche. Excuse me?

Who wasn’t nearly as subtle with his anger with you than he thought. Sure, he kept his poise and grace, but even a raccoon could tell how upset he was with you, judging by how one, he was dressed in full winter gear, and two, he stood a good few meters away from you, as stiff as a board, like you stank of raw fish.

Who made no attempt to go near you, up until you pulled him into the cool sheets with you, the crown of his head hitting your chin rather inelegantly.

Who continued on with his never ceasing pettiness by refusing to look you in the eye, which only led to the fat of his unblemished cheek being squished onto your chest, as you tried your best to figure out how to ease his very apparent agitation.

Who simply buried himself in your chest further as his face burned, while you whispered soothing promises into his pink-tipped ears, assuring him that he truly was the fairest one of them all, that Neige was unimportant, that he was all you really needed.

High consort Vil, who, ever since that night, dreamed of nothing more than to be the beautiful empress by your side, to be all you needed for the rest of your life. And if he needed to rip out that pesky fly Neige’s heart in the process, then so be it - after all, your love was definitely worth it. ;)

[sharksbitee]

I think I've been watching a little too much apothecary diaries...

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no warnings, except that the word ‘missus’ here is used as a gender neutral term

Thinking about your dear house husband Ruggie Bucchi...

Who couldn’t be happier with the life he chose - no more irritating bosses, no more annoying customers and most importantly, getting to see the million-dollar asset that was your sleepy face in the morning, everyday for the rest of his life. :))

Who wakes up early in the morning to prepare your lunch for the day, playfully swatting your clingy arms away when you attempt to play him back into bed with you, for just five more minutes.

Who sends you off with a wave and a grin, reminding you to work hard, and mess with the rich people harder, all with his signature laugh.

Who goes to the nearby market daily, haggling with loud shop owners for the lowest price possible, pulling out stacks of his hoarded grocery vouchers every time he goes to the cashier - they despise him, but a guy’s gotta survive, right? ;)

Who is an absolute god with housework, vacuuming, mopping, and finishing all the laundry in less than two hours - “Compared to my old summer jobs, this is nothing, shyeheehee.” :)

Who wears a cute white frilly apron - a gag gift, from Leona - whenever he cooks, appreciating the way you laugh when he does so. Chopping up discounted veggies with precision, slow cooking roasts until he’s practically salivating - gotta save it for when the missus comes home, he often reminds himself.

Who sits on the couch and leaves through the many magazines he somehow convinced you to subscribe through, putting sticky-notes on recipes he wanted to try, cutting out all the free vouchers to add to his hoard, tongue sticking out adorably as he focused.

Whose ears perked up whenever he heard the telltale noise of your keys jingling as you unlocked the door, swinging his arm around your shoulders the minute you enter, greeting you with a cheeky “Welcome back, boss!”

Who never feels fuller than when he watches you wolf down the dinner he’s prepared with an almost giddy air, face burning at the multitude of compliments you shower him with.

Whose favourite part of the day is lying in bed with you, your fingers running through his hair, his face buried into the crook of your neck, inhaling just the scent of you, his lovely, amazing partner who he somehow managed to score. :)))

Your dutiful, playful house husband Ruggie, who couldn’t be more content with the life you gave him. The only thing your greedy darling wanted now was the sound of little feet pitter-pattering on your house’s floor, the giggling of happy cubs. After all, his skills of taking care of his neighbourhoods children have to go somewhere, right? ;)

[sharksbitee]

Chat what if I post tomorrow's scheduled post now and just put a poll out tmrw

[sharksbitee]

AHHHHHHHHH TY FOR LIKING IT SM <33333

Thinking about Fisherman!Reader with smitten goldfish-mer Riddle Rosehearts…

Who you met one fateful day when you caught him in your net, after noticing that it was much heavier than usual, pulling it up to see a furious redheaded mer.

Who was kicking his shiny orangey-gold tail back and forth, the rough texture of the ropes making angry red marks across his skin, clawing and scratching at his binds, snarling in what you could only assume to be highly agitated mermish - Mother always told him not to get too near human boats. >:(((

Who was already quaking before you pulled out a blunt dagger, and now had fully activated his fight-or-flight response, shutting his eyes when you approached and knelt down to him, knife poised directly above him…

Who immediately opened his eyes again when he wasn’t met with the sharp sting of a blade, but instead… freedom?

Who got more confused when you helped remove the ropes restricting him, even helping him get off your little fishing boat, and back to sea, no less! What was this madness?!

Who went back home dazed and had a good, long think… before remembering rule 374 - to always return what one borrows! Ugh, how could he be so foolish to forget?!

Who decided the best way to pay the odd human back would be to supply them with fish - after all, that was why they were in the sea, and why they had set up those troublesome nets, yes?

Who was so shy and bashful at first, coming back to your little fishing boat with armfuls of fish, rushing away whenever you caught sight of him peering up at you from the depths, only his head bobbing on the surface of the seawater.

Who warmed up to you, little by little, until he was comfortable enough to hang his arms on the sides of your fishing boat, ranting in mermish about one thing or another - you never really understood much, but it was fine. (Company was company, after all.)

Who started grooming himself anxiously, usually right before meeting you - plucking off loose scales on his tail, adjusting and readjusting his hair like some kind of troubled maiden. (A proper mate had to look presentable, correct?)

Who grew bolder over time, swimming circles around your boat, sometimes nudging your waist with his head. Clicking and cooing much sweeter sounding mermish to you, always leaving slightly disheartened. (Were you not fond of him? Was that why you weren’t responding to his advances?) :(((

Who started poring over history textbooks in his free time, researching specifically on human courting customs - Prince Rielle had a human partner, so there must’ve been at least some in books, right??

Who disobeyed Mother, venturing into some shipwreck ruins, to search for any books teaching Common language, so he’d have the chance to court you properly - he was a gentleman, after all.

Who came one day particularly elated, speaking in mostly broken Common, with a bit of mermish sprinkled in, managing to string together a mostly understandable sentence - “You, me, together?” (You giggled. Progress!)

Goldfish-mer Riddle, who is absolutely determined to prepare himself to be the best mate for you possible, no matter how many shipwrecks he may need to explore, he’s prepared to take your heart, and maybe even your last name in the process. ;)

hnnnnnnnnnngh first mermay post how’d I do

[sharksbitee]

KHCTHCLHYFIYDKYDKHDKHDKKGCPKGCGDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

His sweater better have been knitted by his grandma 😡

at least his birthday is the only good thing happening to me after ap exams this week…

[sharksbitee]

Thinking about Fisherman!Reader with smitten goldfish-mer Riddle Rosehearts…

Who you met one fateful day when you caught him in your net, after noticing that it was much heavier than usual, pulling it up to see a furious redheaded mer.

Who was kicking his shiny orangey-gold tail back and forth, the rough texture of the ropes making angry red marks across his skin, clawing and scratching at his binds, snarling in what you could only assume to be highly agitated mermish - Mother always told him not to get too near human boats. >:(((

Who was already quaking before you pulled out a blunt dagger, and now had fully activated his fight-or-flight response, shutting his eyes when you approached and knelt down to him, knife poised directly above him…

Who immediately opened his eyes again when he wasn’t met with the sharp sting of a blade, but instead… freedom?

Who got more confused when you helped remove the ropes restricting him, even helping him get off your little fishing boat, and back to sea, no less! What was this madness?!

Who went back home dazed and had a good, long think… before remembering rule 374 - to always return what one borrows! Ugh, how could he be so foolish to forget?!

Who decided the best way to pay the odd human back would be to supply them with fish - after all, that was why they were in the sea, and why they had set up those troublesome nets, yes?

Who was so shy and bashful at first, coming back to your little fishing boat with armfuls of fish, rushing away whenever you caught sight of him peering up at you from the depths, only his head bobbing on the surface of the seawater.

Who warmed up to you, little by little, until he was comfortable enough to hang his arms on the sides of your fishing boat, ranting in mermish about one thing or another - you never really understood much, but it was fine. (Company was company, after all.)

Who started grooming himself anxiously, usually right before meeting you - plucking off loose scales on his tail, adjusting and readjusting his hair like some kind of troubled maiden. (A proper mate had to look presentable, correct?)

Who grew bolder over time, swimming circles around your boat, sometimes nudging your waist with his head. Clicking and cooing much sweeter sounding mermish to you, always leaving slightly disheartened. (Were you not fond of him? Was that why you weren’t responding to his advances?) :(((

Who started poring over history textbooks in his free time, researching specifically on human courting customs - Prince Rielle had a human partner, so there must’ve been at least some in books, right??

Who disobeyed Mother, venturing into some shipwreck ruins, to search for any books teaching Common language, so he’d have the chance to court you properly - he was a gentleman, after all.

Who came one day particularly elated, speaking in mostly broken Common, with a bit of mermish sprinkled in, managing to string together a mostly understandable sentence - “You, me, together?” (You giggled. Progress!)

Goldfish-mer Riddle, who is absolutely determined to prepare himself to be the best mate for you possible, no matter how many shipwrecks he may need to explore, he’s prepared to take your heart, and maybe even your last name in the process. ;)

hnnnnnnnnnngh first mermay post how’d I do

[sharksbitee]

Cooking something up for Mermay... 😈😈😈

[sharksbitee]

I absolutely adore this it made me kick my feet and giggle

For Tuna; The Search Continues

Summary:gn!reader Grin has begun round two of his search for his your sugar daddy. Luckily, this time he got a babysitter for you, so no interruptions!

This is such a crack fic...And I deeply love it 😂

A/N: It's in my pinned post, and I've mentioned this in a couple posts, but if this is the first of my stuff you've read, I view NRC as an actual college, so reader here is 18+. If it makes you more comfy, imagine it as grad school age.

Part One Part three choose your ending...

"Thank you all for meeting me here," Grim said to the crowd of people. "And thank you all for the gifts. They shall be taken into consideration. Now, today will go as such."

He looked around the room in confusion. "Wait, it appears we are one person short, I guess-"

"Yeah! Me!" Floyd bursted into the room, revealing Jade clutching his cheek, and sitting on the floor.

"What the hell, Sealie! We had a deal! You promised I was in!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Grim shifted in his seat nervously.

"Then I'm gonna squeeze you so hard you have to remember!" Floyd made to rush Grim, as Azul wrapped his arms around Floyd's middle, not even seeming to break a sweat as Floyd "ran" in place.

"Jade, please come get your brother, before he kills Grim and ruins it for everyone."

"I tried to stop him," Jade hummed as he retrieved his brother.

"Sure you did," Azul sighed, casting a quick stun spell so Jade could  get him out of the room. Once things had settled down, Grim called for silence again.

He put on a wig styled in your style and color.

"You will court me as though I am Y/N. You will only move on to the next round if you prove yourself here today. Any questions?"

Idia raised his hand.

"Yeah, who are the normies?"

He pointed at the two random Octavinelle students sitting at the table.

"Ah, yes. Two of our applicants couldn't be here today. They have special circumstances surrounding their absences, so they will be doing their tests at a later date. These two are here to remind you all to step it up."

Rook raised his hand. "Not a question, I just want to say your fur is looking soft and luscious today, monsieur Fuzzball."

Leona, Riddle, and Malleus all groaned and mumbled to themselves, while Vil massaged his temples in pure exhaustion.

"Thank you, Rook," Grim said with a smug smirk. "An anonymous donor has been providing me with a new fur product." Rook winked at him before grinning at Vil.

Silver raised his hand. Lilia attempted to shove it down, but it was too late.

"Again, this feels wrong to me. Firstly because Y/N has no idea about any of this, and secondly, because Y/N should pick their lover! I mean we've all known the prefect long enough to know that-"

"Look!" Grim slammed his clipboard on the table, calling for silence. "I've had enough of you and your goody two shoes ways! The only reason you made it through to this round is because the prefect says you're "baby girl", and I want to say I at least tried to think about Y/N in this process, but if you don't get it together, I'm cutting you completely!"

Silver looked at Lilia in wide eyed confusion, and saw Lilia was grinning. He wasn't sure which was scarier. Not knowing what the hell Grim was talking about, or the fact that his father seemed to be very pleased by it.

"If there are no more questions, then I will give you all the scenario. You are to act as though this is your anniversary dinner. Some of you have already lost points, because you forgot a gift," Grim pointedly glared at Silver.

"Oh! I almost forgot. Silver entrusted me with his gift," Lilia said, excitedly pulling out a gift bag.

"No, I didn't."

"Yes. You did."

Silver shrunk into his chair, as Grim happily accepted the present.

"Alright then. Now," Grim cleared his throat, then in a horrendous mockery of your voice, "Let us begin."

….

"Yo! Y/N!" 

You heard Ace's voice shout behind you as you kneaded the bread dough Trey had asked you to help with.

You turned over your shoulder, in time to miss Trey's expression darken.

"What's u-"

"Ace!" Trey shouted, startling both of you into silence.

"Perfect timing, I need to speak with you. In private," Trey said through gritted teeth, attempting to cover up his earlier blunder with a smile.

"What? No don't distract me, I'm here to-" but Ace was cut off as Trey not so subtly shoved him out of the kitchen, telling you they'd be back in a minute.

"Trey, with all due respect, what the fuck? You know full well that right now, Grim is running a practice date with-"

"Ace, shut up for just one moment, I'm trying to help you!"

Ace's mouth snapped shut in shock.

"My first question is, did you have to take out a loan to be able to afford to come here?"

"Yeah everyone has to-"

"The kind of numbers we are fighting against is people who have so much money, that they might as well not have even come here, because they definitely don't have to work a day in their lives."

"But Y/N doesn't care about-"

"Ace, seriously. I need you to think this through, or I'm leaving you here to rot," Trey said tiredly. "No, Y/N doesn't care about money. But they care about Grim. Grim, if he's as smart as I'm starting to suspect he is, is going to make his final pick, then spin it as a fairytale choice for Y/N. He'll wait long enough that they have forgotten about him interviewing people, and he'll come in with a sad little face and be like, 'Y/N, you're my family, but I'm worried that I can't give you everything you need.' And he'll continue to say stuff like that, and lay the ground work, until one day he sets up a cutsie spontaneous date in the living room with his chosen suitor."

Ace frowned for a moment. "That's…that's actually pretty smart. But Y/N says Grim's a dumb ass all the time. Why would they listen to his arguments now?"

"Ace, sevens, I shouldn't have to spell everything out for you. There's a difference between "my dumbass friend" and "my dumbass roommate, who is wholly reliant on me, who is also my cat, and who is my only family in this world"."

Ace pouted for a moment, before spitting out, "It's not fair! How are we supposed to even compete then!"

Trey grinned. "Well, we're here, and they're there. The plan doesn't work if Y/N has already picked someone before Grim has."

Ace broke out into a grin. "Trey, you're just as devious as the rest of us!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Now, do you want to help Y/N and I make bread? This is a one time offer, after this you're on your own."

"Absolutely. Nothing like making bread amongst friends."

….

"Riddle, it was so very wonderful that they allowed you to have our anniversary dinner off," Grim hummed as he cut a piece of meat. "Unlike last year…" he sighed whistfully.

Riddle gritted his teeth. "I'm sorry, my rose, but it was unavoidable. I had to perform life saving surgery."

"You always say that. I'm starting to think you are avoiding me…."

Before Riddle could come up with a response, Malleus had risen from his seat and knelt before Grim.

"My treasure, our lives these last few years have been so wonderful, especially since we have been able to provide the Great Grim with his own estate, and a lifetime supply of sea meat. But I feel I cannot truly continue to share anniversaries with you, unless," he looked at the floor bashfully, "Unless they were with you ruling by my side."

Suddenly, a shimmering ring appeared in his hand.

Grim gasped. "Darling!"

"No fucking fair!" Idia shouted.

"Agreed, this stinks of deceit, lizard," Leona spit out angrily.

Rook subtly returned the ring box he'd been holding to his pocket.

"All's fair in love and war!" Lilia said with a boyish laugh. "But I suppose it is time for my move now."

He stood up from his seat, composing himself, before putting on a face of pure horror.

"My little bat, I beg you not to accept his proposal! You see, as his longtime attendant, and closest adviser, and general of his armies-"

"General?" Vil muttered under his breath, as he furrowed his brow in utter confusion.

"Aim high, I guess," Riddle muttered back.

"I have come to the terrible knowledge that, his highness, king of those who worship darkness, and highest of all draconic fae, has been seeing another on the side!"

"No!" Grim gasped.

"That's a vicious lie!" Malleus spit out, a green thunderbolt striking the ground behind him.

"Is it? Then why did I see you roaming the grounds in a lover's embrace with Silver yesterday?"

"What!" Silver shot up from his seat.

"No, that wasn't what it looked like!"

"Malleus! How could you do this to me? And on our anniversary no less?" Grim sobbed.

Malleus rushed to explain himself, while Lilia handed Silver a notecard.

"No! I'm not…I'm not reading this!" Silver exclaimed.

"Just do it! It's fun!" Lilia laughed, completely ignoring the sobbing Grim, and terrified Malleus.

"No! Fa-Lilia, how does this not seem weird to you in any way? How are you okay with any of this?"

Lilia stared at him blankly, before understanding dawned on his eyes. "Oh, right, see because I raised you so well, I sometimes forget you are human. But we do this all the time back home. I've hosted three of these for you already." 

Lilia shrugged, totally ignoring Silver's jaw dropping. 

"Obviously, no one has been worthy of my precious Silver, but I figure if anyone is it's Y/N. See if you win, you get Y/N, and I've raised the perfect son. If I win…well your odds are high of also someday finding a kick ass person."

Silver would have yelled at his father about the Insanity of his thought process, except he collapsed back in his chair and was asleep.

"That's it!" Grim shouted. "I'm clearly not enough for you! It's over!"

Malleus started sobbing. 

"For seven's sake," Vil groaned, before standing up, and stepping around Malleus' fetal positioned body. "Darling, I decided we're finally going to go on that vacation we've always dreamed about. And Grim will obviously come too, with all the gold and food  he could ever wish for. Happy anniversary, my apple blossom."

"Oh Vil, how romantic!" The betrayal from earlier completely forgotten, Grim sighed happily.

"But how are we able to afford it?"

"Sorry?" Vil choked.

"Your manager called this morning. She says no one wants to cast you anymore because you're too old."

"Excu-!"

"Vil, you're almost 25 now," Grim said pointedly. "You're practically dead in the industry, and those looks are only going to hold up for so long."

"I bought you an island!" Idia shouted over the table.

"Oh?"

"I bought you an island, and the ocean around it," Azul said with a smirk.

"Oh yeah? And how is Y/N supposed to get there, if I bought all the yachts, and patented all travel technology for myself?!" Idia shouted, hair turning a deep crimson.

"I will turn Y/N into the siren they were always meant to be, and they will swim to our island and oceanic home, far away from the dystopia of you running everything!" Azul hissed.

"Capitalist dipshit!" Idia yelled, before launching himself at Azul, both of them soon wrestling on the floor.

In the chaos, Rook, had snuck over to Grim and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"Mon amour, let us escape this room to explore parad-"

Leona yanked him by the collar, looking him right in the face.

"Back away from my mate, hunter."

"Oh Rois des Leones. I shan't surrender to you."

And now Leona and Rook were wrestling.

"Look, darling, I meant to get last year's anniversary off, but-" 

"Save it, Riddle," Grim somehow managed to get his sniffle to carry over the fighting. "All you care about is work!"

"It's the only way to afford the lifestyle I want to give you! I want to clothe you in finery the Queen of Hearts could only dream of!"

"If only I could believe that was true, you're only doing this to please your mother."

"I'm not old!" Vil suddenly shouted, as one of the wrestling duos hit the table too hard and caused it to collapse.

Grim pushed back a lock of Vil's hair, and smirked. "Is this a gray hair I see?"

"What?" Vil panicked and pulled out his mirror, before tripping over the still sobbing Malleus.

"Little bat, our romance is forbidden,"Lilia whispered into Grim's ear. "But now that you know Malleus is cheating on you, we can run away together! Start our own kingdom elsewhere! We'll be so happy together!"

"Lilia, I am flattered, but I think I should try to make it work with Malleus…"

"What? After all he's done to you? He tore out your heart and gave it to Silver!" Lilia shouted, before pointing at the seat Silver was passed out in. Or used to be passed out in.

"Where did Silver go?" It was the last thing Lilia got out before getting knocked over by a wrestling duo.

….

Silver wandered aimlessly through the NRC halls, trying to clear his head. 

"Silver?" He heard from behind him. He turned and saw Jamil, holding a bag of ingredients.

"If you're looking for, well, everyone, they're baking in Heartslaybul. I'm headed there right now with more flour of you want to come."

Silver nodded, figuring some baking would help him relax. When they arrived he saw you, the first years, Trey, Cater, Ruggie, Kalim and  Ortho, all baking in harmony.

"Trey, I brought Silver and the flour you texted for- Kalim! What are you doing here!" Jamil's calm voice turned into panicked yelling.

"What do you mean?" Kalim's asked, all confused. But Jamil was already shoving him out the door.

"You're supposed to be at…that thing. Remember? We talked about it?"

"Oh yeah! The thing where grikahzj" Jamil covered Kalim's mouth as they both stepped out the door.

"Well, since Kalim is gone, you can help me with kneading the dough, Silver," you said with a bright smile.

Silver smiled softly, and nodded, before joining you at your station.

….

Epilogue

One week later 

"Darling! I'm the headmaster, I can't just take off because our anniversary happens to be in the middle of a school week! You said you understood that when we got married!"

"You told me you were fine that I had a career in fashion! You know I think you are more beautiful than any model, why are you jealous now?"

Grim simpered in his seat, taking a sip of his apple juice, before saying in his Y/N voice, "I think we should see other people. Happy anniversary."

"No!"

....

Tag list-@shytastemakerthing @stygianoir @leonia0 @lleoll @eccedentesiast-sapphic @supertmntgirl @cxsmicdustdreams @aethermostbeloved @krystalkiller25 @asmallbean3 @theneurodivergentdummy @candlewitch-cryptic @smilingfox22-blog

[sharksbitee]

Thinking about being online friends with Idia Shroud…

Who only started talking to you through his dear friend, Muscle Red, and took a few days to actually send you a friend request himself - don’t patronise him, you were just too high-level for his shut-in self! :((

Who could only ever initiate talk through the in-game’s chat - anything else, including using voice chat had to be started by you. Sorry not sorry. :/

Who, undoubtedly, is a MAJOR help in any co-ops and is down for nearly any game - only for you, of course.

Who gets all the supplies and tools you’d ever need, ruthlessly shooting down players left and right, fighting raid after raid after raid. (When does he ever sleep? He seemed constantly online!)

Who maybe perhaps had developed a teensy-weensy crush on you, his realisation sending him curling up on his bed, arms hugging his legs, trying his best to hide his burning face from Ortho, who was already rattling off his symptoms a mile a minute. (“Increased heart rate, dilated pupils -“ “Ortho! Enough!”)

Who was always oh-so embarrassed whenever you suggested doing anything vaguely intimate, even if it was in game. Putting your beds together in minecraft? Practically a death sentence for the poor gamer! Let him breathe a little, okay?!

Who blue screened IRL when you suggested matching profile pics for Twiscord. (“m-matching pfps?! Like those cringe, normie couples?! Um, sure, ig, if you wanna…”)

Who was just trying to survive leaving class when he heard a laugh in the hallway. Not just any laugh - your laugh. The same laugh you made when he made some stupid joke in VC just two days ago -!

Poor, poor, Idia, who now knew what it was like to be one of those down-bad, lovesick, second, no, third male leads in mangas who had fallen hard for the lead, who wasn’t even aware they existed. But it was fine - after all, what kind of gamer would he be if he didn't have a proper game plan? ;)

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Thinking about being the childhood crush of Azul Ashengrotto…

Who was so smitten by you - your shimmery scales, your melodic voice, the way your smile seemed to illuminate light, even in the darkest depths of the coral sea… yeah, he took quite a liking to you, back in elementary school. Too bad he was too scared to actually talk to you… :((((

Who later got teased mercilessly by the Tweels when they found out in middle school, and then panicked when they swam straight to you, happily clicking and cooing about meeting Azul’s ‘person of interest’ before swimming away. (Luckily, you’d simply dismissed it as the Tweels being odd again.)

Who always gazed at you longingly, especially when you came by his family’s restaurant for meals - familiarising your every like and dislike, teaching himself how to cook your favourite dishes perfectly, just in case. ;)

Who never really thought he had a chance, up until Night Raven - finally! His chance to prove himself to be the optimal partner for you!

Who - during spring break - seized the chance to talk to you while you were having lunch at his family’s restaurant, ‘helping out’ rush hour by being your waiter.

Who had any hope of making a good first impression dashed when his nerves caused him to not only stutter through your order, but to also trip and fall while trying to give you your food, due to the massive rush hour crowd, the plate crashing down to the floor with a loud SMASH.

Who looked positively mortified, his face practically blue from embarrassment, until you got down and started helping him pick up the shards of porcelain and food, giving him the same smile he saw all those years ago, when he first fell into the rabbit hole that was loving you. :)

Love-stricken, smitten, down-bad Azul, who you only know as that clumsy waiter from your favourite restaurant. But don’t worry - Azul plays the long game, and he’s sure your first meeting would be a lovely story to tell his family in the future. ;)

[sharksbitee]

Thinking about being childhood friends with Epel Felmier!

Who, with being the only kid in Harveston that was of a similar age to you, of course would end up becoming the best of friends with you!

Who looked so dainty and sweet from afar… and was immediately declared to be the more rambunctious one out of the two of you - playing in the fields, staying up late, being way too competitive in everything the two of you did, whether it be suddenly announcing eating competitions or races… What more could you want in a best friend? <33

Who always clung to you like glue, even during the particularly harsher cold days of traveling to the somewhat nearby town for middle school - sometimes insisting you sit on his bicycle as he cycled the two of you to school, saying that he could handle it, and to hold onto his waist tight.

Who immediately came to your defence when some guys in middle school began picking on you, somehow ending up fighting people twice his size.

Who seemed legitimately so upset when you dragged him away to patch him up in the nurse’s office, face blotchy red from exertion, huffing and puffing about “Bein’ able to go for longer,” as you once again had to treat his wounds.

Who’s face turned red for another reason when you yanked his fists, knuckles battered and bruised from his earlier fight, demanding him to stop putting himself into dangerous situations, being so embarrassed over your genuine concern for his well-being that he couldn’t quite meet your eyes.

Who celebrated his admission to Night Raven with you bittersweetly, knowing he had to leave Harveston - leave you - behind, refusing to admit to the tears welling up in his eyes. (“I’m not crying, dagnabbit!”)

Who still sends letters and pictures to you on a weekly basis, and receives them in return - fingertips tracing your inked words idly whenever Vil’s been extra irritating lately, or smiling dopily at whatever pictures you sent him, whether it be a photo of a newly planted apple tree, or a pie you recently baked. :)

Childhood friend Epel! Who can’t wait for winter break to roll around any quicker, and to be greeted by the warm sight of you, his Meemaw, and the crisp, clean air of Harveston - what more could a guy want? :)

[sharksbitee]

Chat is this my sign to get back into crk

CRK updated yk what that means 😈 (softcore gooning 2 evil lesbians)

[sharksbitee]

Thinking about lovesick, horrendously down-bad, in denial Ace Trappola!

Who always has his hands on you… whether it be resting on your hip in a totally platonic manner, his arm swung over your shoulders, his sides pressed to yours a little too tightly or those quiet moments where his hand brushes against yours for a touch a bit too long.

Who always laughs at you whenever you complain about being cold, but is always willing to bend over backwards to lend you his jacket, no matter how much he complains, going to the point of bringing a jacket with him whenever you go out, elbowing anyone else if they offer their coat to you.

Who just can’t seem to stop bothering you, even in class! Throwing paper airplanes and scrunched up balls of paper that you’re fairly sure is homework your way, until Trein eventually sends the both of you out, to ‘sort things out.’ Yeah, you’ll definitely have to, with that jerk! >:(

Who grows desperate the minute he realises his puppy-dog eyes aren’t working on you like usual, and starts pleading - puckering out his bottom lip, eyes shiny wet. “C’mon, it was just a joke, I won’t do it again, please?”

Lovesick, down-bad, in denial Ace! Who’d rather die than reveal the extent of his totally-not-platonic feelings for you, but it’s fine - you like the chase, and Ace definitely loves to run. :)

[sharksbitee]

It's so funny talking about twst to my non-twst player friends... like wdym their only impression of Azul is sometimes-maniac and sometimes-crybaby scammer guy? Wdym they know Rook as the weird french stalker guy? Wdym they know my fav as hades loser guy who permanently looks scared????