simpingnbitching

[simpingnbitching]

how i hate people using acronyms in real life

“man that pmo”

GIRL YOU MEAN PISSED ME OFF???? WE ARE NOT HIDDEN BEHIND SCREENS STAND TF UP

[simpingnbitching]

I'm putting a leather cover on my thread book to make it more durable, and debating a layer of board between the paper and leather for extra rigidity.

[simpingnbitching]

Consider: Post-canon Zuko wakes up in the body of his childhood self, the morning of That War Meeting. Would he still speak against the plans, knowing his fate? What do you think he would do differently the second time around?

"Turned away at the doors, Zuzu?"

"Shut up, Azula," her brother sulked. But sulked weirdly, after staring at her too long and too wide-eyed, not like she'd surprised him but--

But like he hadn't expected her to be there. At all.

He turned away. ...He turned back. "Hey, Lala? Do you think you could help me practice that one set?"

He didn't meet her eyes.

She narrowed hers. "Which set?"

"The one I'm bad at."

She scoffed. Pushed away from the wall she'd been leaning against. "That's all of them, Dum-Dum."

He didn't shout or stomp or yell about the nickname. His lips twitched.

"It's okay," he said. "If you're afraid you won't be a better teacher that my instructor..."

It was the most obvious manipulation ever.

Perhaps if he proved an adequate firebending student, she'd work on his courtly survival skills next. Honestly, it was good that not even Uncle Gets-Cousins-Killed had been fool enough to take Zuko into that war meeting. She could only imagine how terribly that could have gone.

"Keep up," she said, and turned her steps towards the training grounds.

He did. There, and during the katas she ran him through.

Azula kept her eyes narrowed.

"Hey," he asked, "do you know how to bend lightning yet?"

As if he could have missed it, if she'd been able to get more than sparks. "I will soon," she said.

"You will," he agreed, and flowed through his next set. The one she'd only just mastered.

Father didn't notice how weird Zuzu was being. Uncle never noticed anything. Zuko ate dinner and asked a servant for seconds and didn't stutter or flinch or lose his appetite when father asked, coolly, what he'd done with his day. Azula's shoulders tensed, because one mention of how she'd squandered her own training time teaching him--

"Azula hogged the training grounds. For hours," Zuzu scowled, exactly like a petulant thirteen year old.

Exactly like he hadn't been acting all day.

By the time Father was looking her way, Azula had her usual smirk in place. "I'm sure there would be room for both of us," she said, "you're not afraid of a little friendly fire, are you, brother?"

Zuko sulked. And ate his seconds, like he was enjoying each bite. There was something in his eyes, like a joke no one else was getting.

---

Father died that night. A heart attack. There were the faintest of burns to either side of the treacherous organ; the royal physician hypothesized that he'd grabbed at his chest, fingers burning hot in his final moments; so hot they'd only exacerbated the problem.

The royal physician would never have been brought any victims of lighting strikes. Those that occurred in the capital did not generally require a doctor in the aftermath.

Zuzu ate a hearty breakfast.

He didn't order seconds. Azula gave him points, at least, for not being tacky.

---

The sages named Iroh as regent.

They named Zuko as Fire Lord.

"No," the tiny Fire Lord in his perfectly miniaturized Fire Lord robes said, sitting at the head of his war council. "We're not doing that. And I'll be reviewing all recent battle plans, as well. What's this I hear about a division of new recruits being deployed to the front?"

He did not mention how he'd heard of the 41st Division. No one asked.

"Prince Iroh, surely--" one of the generals tried to appeal.

The young Fire Lord's regent was looking as startled as the rest of them, for a moment. Then he sipped his tea, and smiled.

"Your Fire Lord is correct, of course. A change in our leadership--a change the other nations may mistakenly view as weakness--will necessitate a change in our strategy."

"Now," said their lord, "what, exactly, is our overall objective in this war?"

War, the new Fire Lord decreed, was not an end unto itself.

---

The new Fire Lord continued to have time, to pretend to be trained by her. Azula watched him. Adjusted her footwork. Did not tolerate, and was not offered, any commentary on who was teaching who.

"What did you do with my brother?" she asked, as they flowed from one set to the next. As her hands, poised to throw fire, just so happened to be pointed his way.

He missed a step. It didn't look like an act.

"I'm, uh. Right here?"

She didn't bother to dignify that.

He didn't bother to look worried about her hands, one movement off from a true attack.

He looked around, then grabbed her sleeve, and tugged her further from any walls that may hide ears. The royal family's private training grounds were wonderfully large, and wonderfully open.

"It's me," he said. "It's still me. Just. More of me? Longer of me?"

She narrowed her eyes. A familiar expression, by this point. "Explain."

"...I found the Avatar," he said. "And this is definitely his fault, but--but I guess it started at a war meeting, when I was thirteen."

Azula listened. It was a very Dum-Dum story.

[simpingnbitching]

[simpingnbitching]

I really can’t stop redrawing Peanuts strips as batblob

this took all of 20mins on my phone and I know it’s gonna outperform the actual coloured and shaded drawing I spent hours on

but to be fair, little Robin-as-Woodstock may be the pinnacle of my career

Based on:

[simpingnbitching]

✨✨ DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE ✨✨

[simpingnbitching]

WHEN ON PERIOD:

do not crash out

your feelings are NOT valid

do not send that text

don't kill yourself. lock in

do not act on negative emotions until at least 2 days have elapsed

[simpingnbitching]

my friends r so talented. rb if ur friends are talented

[simpingnbitching]

The question hidden within enemies-to-lovers is “who will love me at my worst?”, the question hidden within friends-to-lovers is “who will love me at my most mundane?”, hope this helps

[simpingnbitching]

Take a picture, it will last longer

[simpingnbitching]

shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply

"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post

"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior

"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares

"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.

"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all

".. but its about a witch in the alps finding her lost cat" for someone trying to sanitize something to the point of absurdity

[simpingnbitching]

saw a woman comforting her sobbing child saying “i already told you, you have to keep looking forward, looking back just gets you hurt” and i thought she was sharing a beautiful life lesson about the importance of letting go of regret and resentment. but it turns out the kid just wasn’t looking where he was going and ran into a wall

[simpingnbitching]

Reblog if you love "How to Train Your Dragon"

[simpingnbitching]

oh my god don’t talk to me i’m reading batfam presumed dead fics

jason: *about to barge into Titans tower and brutally fuck up the Replacement*

tim: *pitying himself*

jason: oh poor little rich boy, what happened to you?

tim: my dad just died

jason (the poor boy): holy shit, bruce is dead? before i get my revenge? no way… :(

bruce: *shows up*

jason: holy shit you’re not dead!

*crying commences*

A Recipe for Disaster by Calypso_Rambles, JUBE514

jason as hood: *fakes his own death*

batfam: *collectively goes insane bc of sadness*

jason: you love me??????

down, down, cities fall down on me by Ghxst_Bird

tim: *participates in the 15 minutes program, where kids are announced as dead bc of drunk drivers, without notifying batfam*

batfam: *depression and sadness and angst*

tim: *returns*

batfam: *surprise, shock, awe, surprised pikachu face*

Mistakes Were Made (or Every Fifteen Minutes) by Undercover_fangirl

if u want more:

Mendacium (Falsehood) by Cant_Smoke_Eggs

I didn’t mean to fake my death, it just happened by alienspronkles

[simpingnbitching]

and i don’t even like staying up this late i just do it

[simpingnbitching]

AHHH I LOVE YOU TIGER

[simpingnbitching]

omg this is so cute hello