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Lord help me if I don't experience this love I don't want it

my favourite trope is when someone believes they're hard to love and someone who loves them like it's breathing

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STARTING OVER

Well humans never fail to amaze me in weird but fascinating ways of their own but what i really don't get is how do people get over someone they said they loved , would come back to without any thought , their favorite person in just 3 months? like wdym it took me 7 months to fully get over him. Yes it was me who broke it off but for good reason no? how do you continue with someone who showed me their so in love but i knew i wasn't going to be good for them so i backed off no matter how much my heart was into it, I feel like that's REAL FUCKING LOVE not holding your partner back when you know its you who's the fucked up person ykwim like how can someone say i didn't love when it took me 7 fucking months to heal? and if there were so many moments i would've gone back but they've already moved on , it haunts me that they said they didn't know my fav drink when I HAVE A COFFEE IN MY HAND EVERYDAY ? did they really even love me ? or was it just a manipulative lie cause explain to me why it took me 7months when they said they're the one who loved me more even i thought so by the intensity of their word but alas words are words, the actions showed me all i needed to know. i loved and im not sorry i did but yes i believe in the fact that if they don't block you they never loved you yk why BECAUSE WHY WOULD WANT TO FLAUT YOUR NEW GIRL IN MY FUCKING FACE AND YOUR PERFECT FUCKING LIFE? I BLCOKED THEM BECAUSEI DIDN'T WANT THEM SEEING MY FACE AND RETHINKING ABOUT ME, OR NOT BEING ABLE TO MOVE ON but that's just me i guess because wdym people don't love this hard how can you not think how your actions will impact me? why would you try make me jealous and feel sad when all i want was for them to move on peacefully yeah i guess fucked up thats it took me this long to not give a fuck about them anymore but thats just how i am and how i love and in this lifetime i don't expect to be loved as i love but yeah thats my rant so FUCKIN FINALLY BABES WE'RE ENTERING ARIES SEASON FULLY HEALED AND READY FOR NEW THINGS xoxo

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Baarishein kind of day , I sent my best friend, my twin , my other soul. She asked - "Tell me, what happened ?" Her. She happened to me. How do I tell her that when I listen to this song I remember the first time we listened to it together on the road mindlessly roaming around , no fear of time that in the future we'd be apart , wired earphones, she said "I have a song and I love it so much we should listen to it do you have your airpods , I did but they were discharged I said. I took out my wired earphones and told her well this would be good as well, won't it?" She said "yes" and played this song while we walked about the roads near our coaching during the sunset, not knowing someday she'd be walking those alone, and she's said "listen closely thus is my favorite part" it was the part that went really fast and high and everytime now that I listen to it this memory comes to my mind, our innocence comes to my mind , our bond , and the fact that she could quite possibly be my soul mate (platonic) so yeah to answer that - you, you happened and I'm glad it happened

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To be loved like a Taylor Swift song

Cringe or not, is it really too much to ask to be loved in the way Taylor describes in her music? Sometimes, I wonder if my true love is my best friend (s) because they're actually the ones that know me more than I know myself down to the dressing sense to the way my mind works, I ghost them but they understand I like being by myself , because somewhere I know even when I'm alone I'm not lonely , getting me coffee fuck that making me coffee, cheering up days with random playlists and letters and flowers is so innocent but makes me feel so fucking loved in this world like I actually mean something to someone. Emotions are what they taught me that to love and be loved isn't a sin or in other ways hard, being a complicated person I would love to apologize to them for being this way but they made me love myself just the way I am and loved me for me that's something like a Taylor Swift song isn't it? Being possessive about me , teaching me physics ? Lmao love of my life they are fr. To think I've been on numerous dates with my best friends is bizarre? Idk but the letters and flowers I have each one of the them saved not materialism but randomly when someone pulls up to meet you with a letter and flowers makes me feel like a princess in a fairytale (blushes). I love my people who get excited with me for the little thing like my nails or anything really. I love those sweet sweet bastards to the depth of the never ending pacific ocean.

- a love letter to my bsfs<3

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I like my body against your body

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Chaand.

(Moon)

I fell in love with the Moon recently. No, actually, my 4th class self was already in love with it when she joined astronomy. Seeing the moon in the night sky with a telescope lets you see that even though it looks so perfect and poised from far away, it has its dents and marks. Seeing those little crests gives me hope that perfect doesn't exist and you have to fake it from a far and the ones whi are close to you will recognize that fake and still love you with your dents and scars. Seeing the scars on the moon for the first time didn't make me disgusted by it, not at all. Instead, I fell in love a little more with every crack. It showed me that so many people adore the moon, and they do so with the scars it endured. This gives me some sort of hope for humanity that maybe pure love does exist. Somewhere in my fictional mind, I'm someone's moon, and hopefully, they adore me with all my dents and scars just like I adore Mera chaand. The moon is indeed beautiful and a symbol of hope for me in the world. Humans love , but all I want to know is that can a human love another after they know they're scars that's aren't visible from afar?

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Pinterest lately <3

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i am outraged that someone has not yet fallen in love with me poetically in a museum

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Damn long time no see , anyways I'm thinking to start a 30 day productive challenge again since I stopped giving u updates last time and this time I promise updates everyday and hopefully I'll stick to the challenge lmao.

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30 days of productivity

Day 3 / 30

To do

Do Chem chap carbon and compounds

Revise for eng mid term

Complete maths AP

Start new chap of bio

Revise old stuff of phy

Heyy guys so I couldn't go on with this challenge because I unfortunately tore my ankles ligament and it hurt damn it so we're starting again at day 3

Anyways here's some inspo for today

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“i’m focused” *thinking about the 110 procrastinated tasks, remembering my favourite book quotes, looking up outfits on pinterest, making the 89th playlist about a specific deranged scenario, drinking my fifth cup of coffee and shaking from crippling anxiety*

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30 days of productivity

2/30

So I'm starting from day 2 again since I wasn't well and got cold so I couldn't continue

Todo -

Chem - module 1 topic 1 revision

Bio - life process

Print out the printable copy of applications

Mathematics- module 1 - 2 topics and finish work in fair copy

Do the readings for information technology

And make revision cards for history

Yeah a lot to do since I missed out on work last 3 days

Anyways here's a little light academia Junk edit for ya

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30 days productivity

Day 1 / 30

To do -

Make weekly plan for revision

Do math review

Clean and arrange book selves

Write down Syllabus for half yearly exam

Complete pending work

So the day started of with me going to school and on returning I slept and then we went out so a lot of time was lost but I think makes up for I really got productive since I think 10pm lmao but I'll do better tomorrow!!

And bruh I am in love with chaotic academia aesthetic so here's a inspo for ya all!

I'll update again tomorrow, about how it went xx

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ethereal

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"Anything worth dying for is certainly worth living for. "

-Joseph Heller

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Ah this is just ~

“We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light”

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