#& im on the list for it (there's a pretty low number of spots)

[doyouevenshipbr0]

top 10 strongest firebenders

im on fire. cant stop making lists.

rules: no avatars included and nothing from comics or books. STRICTLY ATLA AND LOK!

lets go

honorable mentions: so i feel as though fire lord sozin should be SOMEWHERE on this list, but we just really do not see him firebend nearly enough to know where he would rank. so im just gonna play it safe and leave him off the list.

10. zhao- im ngl he’s kinda ass LMAOOO. but to be so honest there are no other firebenders that we see for a significant enough amount of time so here he is. he obv has to be kinda good bc he was an admiral/commander/whatever tf, but he gets his ass handed to him in every fight. he gets beaten by zuko in like ep 3 when zuko himself was kinda ass (sorry its true. remember this for later on so u wont be as mad as me), and in the ep with jeong jeong we see that he totally lacks restraint and discipline. zhao sucks! but idk who else would be 10! so here u go!

9. iroh II- love him! we really dont see much of him but what we do see is pretty epic! its nothing that would be able to put him any higher on this list, but again he’s a general (i think LOLLLL) so hes gotta be good. he was def a force to be reckoned with when we saw him, we just didn’t see him much!

8. mako- to be so honest i think mako is over-hated in a lot of ways, his bending being one of them. i feel like he isn’t very spiritually connected with firebending which isn’t necessarily a problem but it is one of the reasons he can’t be any higher (in my opinion). he is still a master though and is the best firebender we see in tlok (outside of pli). he can lightning bend soooo easily, has great battle iq, and he’s very shifty, and he uses his MMA style firebending to his advantage for sure. he’s definitely the pinnacle of a modern fire bender which is cool to see but i do think works to his detriment when it comes to the rest of this list. but even though he’s so low on this list, make no mistake he is an excellent firebender and i think he outbends bolin easily (im just bringing bolin up because bolin is higher on his list than mako is but i do think mako is the better overall bender).

7. jeong jeong- we don’t see much from jeong jeong so idk if this is fully fair, but he is a legend in avatar the last airbender, and when we do see him firebend, we see stuff that really no one else in the show does. he clearly has a lot of raw strength and talent, and i think a lot of his power comes from his understanding of firebending. he’s also a member of the white lotus! i just can’t put him higher because 1. he doesn’t have any sub bending feats (not that that fully matters but it is definitely a plus to have those skills) and 2. we don’t see him much.

6. zuko- im not gonna lie i think zuko is overrated as a firebender. HOWEVER he is by farrrrrr the most improved firebender we see across both series. he saw the original firebenders/the dragons/the meaning of firebending whatever tf and i think that gave him a full spiritual connection and understanding of firebending. after this he was locked tf in! i just can’t put him higher because, this is fucked up to say, he lacks the natural ability and talent that numbers 5-1 have (IN MY OPINION!!!). he started as a great firebender that works his way up and earns his spot as a master firebender, but firebending doesn’t exactly come easy to him, and honestly, his firebending just does not impress me the way 5-1’s firebending impresses me. sorry zuzu!

5. p’li- so her and combustion man are sooooo interchangeable for me like i really cannot decide who is the stronger bender. all i will say is combustion bending is OP as FUCKKKKKK and that’s why p’li is here. both combustion benders we see are insaneeeeee threats.

4. combustion man- the only reason he is over p’li is because 1. he just seems like a more booming threat that the gaang really cannot figure out how to deal with than p’li was in tlok and 2. p’li gets killed lol. combustion man does not get killed (i think…..?) so i think he’s higher for those reasons but i think they are super interchangeable and i can see why u might think they could be switched.

3. azula- so ok. if we were making a list of “firebenders with the most potential” she is number 1. imo she is the best firebender in the verse other than 1 and 2 and it isn’t even close. but she is only 14 and just is not fully realized as a firebender like 1 and 2 are even before she loses her mind. i donttttt wanna hear “well zuko surpasses her in the end” because yes ur right but literally only because she genuinely has a psychotic breakdown. i think if u take crossroads of destiny azula and have her fight sozin’s comet zuko, she still clears. she has such an immense level of skill and technique that really cannot be matched. she has an insane battle iq, and yes she’s naturally gifted but she is also extremely hardworking. she is also the most fun firebender to watch but i guess that’s not a valid point lol. i think if she gets her mental health in check in her adulthood then she can easily become the best firebender in the verse. unfortunately we dont see that tho! also BLUE FIRE!!!!!!!! blue fire. im done here.

2. iroh- ok. i know. i know. many of u think he’s number one. for me, he just isn’t. maybeeeeee in his prime but he is simply not there anymore which is what we see. with that being said he is the mf dragon of the west and he outclasses every other firebender below him on this list with ease. it was suggested that he try to fight ozai for a reason! he’s really the only other firebender that is on his level! he also easily handles azula which no other firebender can do.

1. ozai- i dont have a fun long winded reason for this one. i know we only see him bending (for the most part) during sozin’s comet when all firebenders are buffed, but even comparing him there to the other firebenders during the comet, he was an absolute MONSTER firebender. also ive used phrases like “spiritual connection” a lot to describe a few of these people, and to be honest, i feel like ozai has little to none of that, which is definitely a con for him, but this is just one of those situations where his insane natural ability, raw strength, and power make him outbend literally everybody else. lots of people argue ozai and iroh’s spots but 1. iroh says himself he isn’t sure that he can beat ozai and 2. im pretty positive bryke literally said ozai is the strongest firebender in the world. which is a boring piece of evidence, but it’s a pretty good piece of evidence nonetheless. also he kicks aang’s ass the entire final battle until aang goes into the avatar state lol. he just seems like the most overwhelming force of firebending we ever see imo!

[tiredrobin]

ok my lil nightmare headcanons for the guys that i like. six is the most fleshed out and runaway kid is here because i have little aus in my head and i think about all of them . just not as much as i think about six

the most widely applied hc for all of them: the all of them have ptsd but most of the symptoms one might expect for ptsd dont rly express themselves because theyre all basically in survival mode Always, and for symptoms of ptsd to properly express the brain has to be like "oh, right, i'm safe. time to explode" (this is very simplified and im aware theres way more complexity and nuance. just assume literally every hc i present abt anything is more nuanced than this list offers)

six

autism

adhd also

she's (mostly, circumstantially) selectively mute and/or minimally verbal, and my supporting evidence is i want her to be. my second supporting evidence is that she doesn't talk in any of the comics and she doesn't even have a whispered voiceline like "hey!" like mono does. my third supporting evidence is that that i want her to be. in more depth, she CAN be verbal, but it is (as mentioned) circumstantial and related to who she's with and how safe she feels. ie: the door raft is safe enough that she manages to tell mono her name, and in a few situations following she manages to communicate verbally, it's just not something she can do easily in… well, most cases. she's otherwise strongly communicative when she needs to be, and good at getting her point across when necessary

always whispers when she does speak

this is less a hc and more something actively supported by canon, but she WILL help people if it doesn't put her in immediate danger (and even if it does, in some cases) (supporting evidence is ln2 and vln lmao)

gets anxious when people behave vulnerable around her/quick to emotionally shut down/retreat. low empathy, high compassion. (if u think negatively abt this bite me forever and ever and ever cuz ur wrong. this is a completely neutral trait)

even after the tower, she obviously finds comfort and joy in music boxes and music in general (also mostly supported by canon content, i think)

likes to hum when she's alone

struggles with skin-picking

the noisiest she gets is when she's dreaming

physical contact is weird for her, aka it's fine if she expects it and painful/awful if she doesn't (weird exceptions apply to some degree, ie hands are ok/mono taking her hand is almost always fine)

she only hates veggies because no one's ever cooked 'em good for her. girl needs some stir fry

gets cold way easily

mono

autism 2 electric boogaloo

it's just different from six's autism, man, idk

he scripts a lot. on the spot, he has a hard time putting sentences together, but give him a little bit/be patient and he'll manage fine. he's definitely not nonverbal (six is of the opinion that he doesn't know how to shut up, which is a bit of an exaggeration but one that mono doesn't mind), it's just that autism and trauma makes words Hard

so like not nonverbal and not fully speaking but a secret third thing

survivor's guilt in, like, every situation ever

very good at taking the lead when he has a goal and has a hard time stopping to listen to others

but he DOES make a concerted effort to listen to others because he's at least peripherally aware of this fault of his

world's softest speaking voice. it's about as soft as how he whisper-talks the word "hey", pretty much

extremely detail-oriented, which helps a lot when solving puzzle-y situations

yellow is his favorite color

runaway kid:

also autism

i don't have much for them uhhh

they/them-er. they're not picky tho

goes by runa or una. "una" was a joke at first, but it sounds a bit like "uno" and the number theme with the other two just really is too hard for me to resist

will instigate contact but dislikes reciprocation

probably the loudest speaking voice of the three, but that's not really saying much. reflex is to speak lowly or whisper

ok with words. doesn't need to script

probably struggles a lot with touch-focused sensory stuff

[boyplushie]

i feel so selfish but also im gonna start crying bc of this

[prokopetz]

Hello! There is currently a TTRPG bundle for trans rights in Texas on itch.io right now. Is there anything on there that you find particularly noteworthy? (im probably going to get it anyway but it's nice to know)

My policy of not recommending tabletop RPGs I've never played is working against me here, because obviously I haven't played most of the 400-odd games in the bundle in question! However, I did spot a few that I've had positive experiences with:

AGON - A semi-competitive RPG that casts the players as heroes in Mythic Greece. Very combat-heavy, though it models some pretty unusual things as forms of combat, including poetry contests and academic debates. There are a number of setting hacks available if playing as Heracles doesn’t grab you, including the SCP Foundation inspired Chamber and the 1980s mecha anime pastiche Surge Protectors; they’re not included in the bundle, but they’ve got pay-what-you-want pricing, so they don’t need to be.

Blazing Hymn - A surreal mecha-meets-magical-girls game where the player characters are literally trying to cancel the Apocalypse by beating up angels while wearing robotic battlesuits forged from living music. Probably the most tactically crunchy game on this list in spite of its relatively lightweight mechanics – you’ll definitely want a battle grid for this one. Based on the Lumen SRD, which you can pick up with pay-what-you-want pricing here.

A Dirty World - A film noir drama with a novel approach to conflict resolution that revolves around tension between pairs related yet fundamentally opposed values – Endurance versus Defiance, Courage versus Wrath, etc. The writeup on itch.io is short and cryptic, so you might find the author’s website more informative, particularly the downloadable character sheet.

Thirsty Sword Lesbians - April Kit Walsh’s magnum opus is pretty much exactly what it says on the tin: all player characters are lesbians with swords, and the mechanics explicitly encourage everybody to constantly fall in love with everybody else and have all sorts of ridiculous relationship drama. Not quite as lighthearted as it sounds; many of the playbooks are about exploring a particular experience of homophobia (then stabbing it in the face). This system is especially well-represented in the bundle, with several third-party playbooks and scenarios also included: here, here and here.

Wanderhome - A low-stakes furry travelogue RPG based on the diceless Belonging Outside Belonging engine first seen in Avery Alder’s Dream Askew; the latter has a free play kit available (bottom of the left-hand column on the linked page) if you want to get an idea of what sort of mechanics to expect in Wanderhome. This one is literally the tabletop RPG equivalent of a walking sim, which I expect either cinched the deal for you or put it firmly on your do-not-play list the moment I said it. The bundle also includes a compendium of third-party playbooks for Wanderhome, here.

[idiacide]

A non-comprehensive list of the Just Neurodivergent Things on the boys I hc as ADHD/Autistic (source: I have ADHD and am pursuing an autism diagnosis).

Floyd Leech (ADHD):

-noncomprehensive list of stims include nail biting, hair tugging, sliding his untied bowtie back and forth in his shirt collar (resulting in the bowtie being confiscated by Jade), snapping, and biting pretty much anything he gets his hands on

-Would strongly benefit from a chew necklace if his teeth didn't shred the rubber immediately

-In general he's a hazard to keep in clothes. The longer he's been on land the easier it gets but he still tends to pull his jacket on and off every few hours or so

-His hyperfixations tend to be on athletics and different sports, resulting in a lot of unused equipment piling up in his room and making a tripping hazard

Jade Leech (Autism)-

-The worst part of moving to land was losing the ocean pressure. He tends to wear a lot of tight clothes to help offset this.

-Floyd never bothered to learn to mask. Jade did once they came to land, not because of a pressure to conform but because he thinks its funny to turn the neurotypical energy on and off at will.

-Special interest in mushrooms. Obsessive.

-The mountain trips have an added bonus of giving him a scheduled time to destimulate a little bit and self regulate. The Mostro Lounge and Floyd both make for a chaotic day to day life and while Jade isn't super prone to meltdowns it can be tough if he doesnt know he can get away soon. Having those plans altered or cancelled, especially at the last minute, is one of the few ways to visibly upset him

-His body gets all tight when he IS overstimulated and his breathing gets more regulated. Fortunately Floyd and Azul both tend to spot this pretty quickly and will clear the room

-HATES fluorescents

Jamil Viper (Autism and ADHD):

-He thinks he's very good at multitasking, and he is, but its literally only because of he was able to slow down to one task at a time he would implode

-Dancing stretches stims. Constantly

-Kalim is usually the number one source of overstimulation with the constant chatter and abrupt plans changing and bubbliness. Post overblot they both get better about boundary setting there.

-Has no idea his face typically registers as annoyed/bored to most people.

-He braids his hair to stim and as a way of self regulating. His hands are always going on something

-He learned how to fake emotional regulation really early on but he struggles really badly with his temper to this day.

-Hates not being able to set the pace of his own activities. Having to wait for other people to catch up to where he is makes him want to stick needles in his hand

-Subtle flappy hands, held low so they can't be spotted

Vil Schoenheit (Autism)

-"Im so good at masking no one would ever know" *has a meltdown because an assistant put his makeup back Wrong *

-Generally really bad at emotional regulation in the face of lacking control. Ascribes a lot of it to a "diva" personality instead of the actual truth

-Part of the reason he's so good at acting is he spent his whole childhood studying people's intonation and facial expressions to mimic them. When he's not in work mode he tends to let it drop completely. "Resting bitch face" can be seen as a staple when youre a celebrity. Nobody has to know its just your default mode.

-He grits his teeth and bears through modelling sessions with fabrics that irritate his sensory issues, but Rook makes a point to ensure all Pomefiore dorm uniforms are made of stuff Vil can tolerate easier

-He's not very public about it because he doesn't want to be shoved into the box of Autism spokesperson and never allowed to leave it. However, he's vigilant for signs and symptoms in his underclassmen and makes a point to provide as much accommodations as is within his power to give. Beauty may be pain sometimes, but his dormmates deserve the tools they need to succeed.

Idia Shroud (ADHD)

-Chews his hair to stim which is SUCH a bad idea his mouth tastes like ash. He'll settle for hoodie strings or sleeves if he has to.

-Sensory whiplash all the time, sometimes you need 12 videos playing at once just to feel something and sometimes leaving your bed in your pitch black room feels like the biggest ask in the world.

-Media hyperfixations that eat up his income like nothing else. At least his family's rich.

-Caffeine addict. He's been trying to ease off since Ortho started rattling off heart disease stats but its slow going.

-Physically cannot stop talking, mumbles to himself when he doesnt want people to hear.

-Nuked sleep schedule

-Gets the zoomies at his computer and has to lap his room a few times. He trips over more laundry piles that way

[kleptosuperstar]

hiii so uhh i really don't think anyone will see this because...i literally have one follower but im kinda making this for myself because me and my cousin are going to the mall and a few stores around the city in a few days SPECIFICALLY to lift and I made a list of things that we both want PLUS some tips for these stores seeing as I DO lift from most of them a lot sooo..yeah

SPENCERS: a moderately easy store seeing as there are TONS of blind spots and LP isn't employed. To top it off, cameras are never monitored, however they are low-hanging and somewhat high quality. Usually only 2-5 employees but the store is almost always crowded so if you find a blind spot it's a free for all. They wont chase but might call mall security.

What we want:

h20 piercing cleaner x2

toy cleaner

jojoba oil

hemp oil

septum and nose jewelery (we will actually have to purchase this, seeing as if you steal the jewelery they hand to you they WILL know you stole no matter what. Plus the packaging is riddled with RFID tags)

HOT TOPIC: Not that many blind spots, but employees usually don't care and rarely count clothing articles, which may have a tag or two, so check for those. Cameras are never monitored and the stores usually have a large layout so just watch out for customers and employees, find a blind spot and throw a bunch of shit into your bag They don't chase! :D.

What we want:

distressed thigh highs

over the knee thigh highs with bow

black fishnet lace thigh highs

black and white stripe arm warmers

black fishnet fingerless gloves

black floral tights

CLAIRE'S: whew lawd. I really really want to be helpful on this one but Claire's is a laughably easy place to lift from. No cameras, usually only 1 or 2 employees and if one is giving a piercing it's a free-for-all. THEY HAVE MIRRORS SO AVOID THOSE. My favorite blind spot there is behind the register if there is no one there, and that's all I have to say there.

What I want: (she doesn't want anything from Claire's apparently🙄)

Headphones

A tiara

Nail polish

VICTORIA'S SECRET: first of all lol, i feel ZERO shame in lifting from them. Please note that they do have cameras, and their SAs are trained to look out for shoplifters, however most of them are just confused college girls lol. Panties are NOT tagged. What I like to do is take a medium sized empty makeup bag and put it in my purse, and once I arrive to VS i put the makeup bag in the tote, I also drop my phone into the tote. I go around the store, picking out panties that are my size and i drop them so they can fall directly into the makeup bag. I do this with as many as I can fit into the bag and I do this with small makeup items as well. Once I'm done, I reach into the bag as if I'm looking for my phone (which i dropped in earlier) and that's the moment when i zip up the zipper of the makeup bag and pull out my phone immediately after and pretend to check the time and say something like "Damn, I gotta go. I'm late." Or something like that. Put the makeup bag in your purse and play around on your phone as you exit the store. And that's really it :) I rarely lift bras from there anymore so I can't REALLY help you there.

What I want:

a bunch of panties and some lip gloss!

BARNE'S AND NOBLES: I've never lifted from this place but I know friends who have. I'll give you the tips they gave me. There are cameras, and they are being monitored, but there are PLENTY of blind spots seeing as it is a very large store. The kid's section has no cameras tho, so if you're like me and look younger than you are, this could be for your advantage. No one expects you to steal when you're vibing in the kid's section. Most books have RFID tags, and hardcover books sometime have books engraved in the cover, so watch out for those. Most manga, some magazines, and just overall 99% of the books are tagged. Get what you want, flip through them and look for RFID tags while pretending to "read". If an employee sees you sitting down "reading" they won't suspect you unless they actually see you ripping out the tags. The worst that could happen is that they could ask you to move out of the book aisle so other customers can come through, if that happens, simply find another blind spot. Slip them into your bags like they're yours as SOON as you know they're rid of RFID tags. They won't chase, but probably will try to get you back into the store and if that doesn't work they'll try to get a license plate number or give your description to the police, neither usually goes anywhere tbh.

What we want:

fire force volume 1

fire force volume 2

fire force volume 3

fire force volume 4

Akame Ga Kill

Soul eater

Black lagoon

Kakegurui vol. 1

The seven deadly sins volume 1

Spy x family 1

Spy x family 2

Spy x family 3

Black butler vol. 1

Black butler vol. 2

Black butler vol. 3

Black butler vol. 4

Wotakoi vol. 1

Wotakoi vol. 2

Gangsta

Dictionary of witchcraft

The anatomy of the occult

Charms, spells, and formula

Moon spells

Gothic beauty magazine number 19

Nocturnal witchcraft

Necronomicon

The good witch's daily spellbook

A big book of practical spells

Any book on astrology

Gothic grimoire

Shingeki no Kyonin

Ulta: The second store I've ever lifted from. This store is easy, but not laughably. I feel like this would be a starter for babylifters. This store has mild LP, so watch out for those and NEVER EVER EVER conceal in front of customers, you should never do this in general but especially NOT in an Ulta. Get to your blindspot and make sure to detag depending on what you plan on lifting. Those mfs at Ulta tag like crazy. Put everything in your bag and remember to NEVER get too greedy at this store. They have a STRICT, VERY VERY STRICT no chase policy.

What we want:

better than sex mascara

lipstick

eyeshadow

makeup brushes

black liquid and stick liner

pink liquid liner (if they have it)

bronzer

brown eyeliner

eyeliner pencil

maracuja oil

any colorful eyeshadow pallate lol

WALMART: My walmart is so easy it hurts. Maybe about 5 cameras throughout the whole store to my knowledge, so the whole thing is basically a blind spot. The makeup aisle is heavily monitored tho so whenever I'm over there I make an effort to never look up to those cameras. Grab whatever you want/need and AVOID EMPLOYEES!!! they're everywhere. As well as customers. They are the two most annoying problems I've ever had lifting from a Walmart. I've noticed that aisles where you get things such as building materials are the most empty with no cameras. People usually only go to walmart because the food is cheap, so there are a lot of families who are usually only at one side of the store. Its rare that people ever need materials like those so seek out aisles like that to use as a blind spot. Wal-Mart doesn't seem to tag that many things, but ALWAYS check no matter what store you're at. If you're lifting something on the expensive side, just check for that.

What I want:

kinder buenos x2

sugar free monster energy

paint

paintbrushes

black lace

blue eyeliner

blush

nail polish

socks

THE DOLLAR TREE:

Pretty easy store tbh. The cameras are fake, and if they aren't they're never being monitored. I don't know about ALL layouts but mine has SO many blindspots it's crazy. If you're just looking for a snack, some makeup, or maybe a meal ? (Yes, you can get a whole meal if you lift enough stuff) then the dollar tree would be your place of interest. There are almost no employees walking around the store. There are usually only 2, and they switch between working at the registers and cleaning out the front of the store or whatever. Honestly this store is so easy just stuff shit in your bag lol. Even if you get caught they won't chase or call the police. Their stock is WAYY too cheap for that. I go there to steal candy or makeup brushes which is usually not worth paying for anyways so this is a beginner store. Knock yourself out ;)

What I want:

literally anything i see there that i want😭

welllll if you actually made it this far, thank you so much! I hope this helped someone and I hope one day I can make a master list of stores myself instead of just picking selective ones but this was all i was able to do :( i really REALLY hope this helped someone lmao just remember

✨ if its chain, its free reign✨

[solesurvivorpaigeargot]

HOLY HELLO, friends and followers! It's once again that time, time for...

SKETCHY SATURDAY!

This week, we're bringing back one of my favorite types of prompt-- the Quote prompt!

This one is pretty simple, but I still gotta lay down the rules. Follow me past the read-more if you're wanting to participate this week!

This week is all about the dialog-- requesters may select a character and a quote to send in, after which I'll do the rest. If you're an old hand at this event, this is exactly the same as previous quotation prompts, just with an updated quote list.... buuuuut you can still validate my time spent writing the guidelines every week by reading them anyway XD

For the rest of ye, ONWARDS!

To send a VALID request for this week's Sketchy Saturday, send an ASK to my ASKBOX containing the following:

The CHARACTER you'd like sketched ---- Canon? Yep! OC? Hell yes! Everybody's welcome so long as they're from the Fallout Universe! ---- One character per ask ---- Sending an OC? Send your request ask FIRST, and THEN send reference info to my Tumblr IM ---- Don't have a reference image? Text description is fine! Going from text lets me flex my character design muscles!

The NUMBER of your selected quote ---- Numbers help me find things faster, but you can transcribe the quote, too, if you wanna. ---- Got more than one favorite? List up to three, in order of preference. If someone else has used your first choice, I'll move on to your second [or third]. ---- Still can't choose? Send me 'Dealer's Choice!' and I'll pick one... or maybe make up something new on the spot ;3

As always, I'd like to remind everyone that the artist is a singular human, managing this event to try and give people some joy during a time when there seems to be a dwindling supply. Please remember to be polite, say please and thanks, reblog the art after it's finished, make 'oooo' noises in the tags, all that good shit.

Kay? M'kay.

And with that all outta the way... THE QUOTES!

CW for a lot of colorful language, implied violence, and general vulgarity XD

“Excellence knows no age.”

"Whoa, whoa, calm down-- my metaphorical dick can only get so hard."

"Like... a broken clock is right twice a day, but I feel like I'm insulting the clock with that comparison."

"You know, people in this town have a habit of getting in over their heads... like at the bottom of the ocean."

"What the fuck is that look for?"

"Shhhhh.... the adults are talking."

"I did NOT just spend six days in a hole to NOT get drunk at the first opportunity."

"And whether you believe that... or you're correct, it makes a nice hot take."

“Goddamnit, we fought a revolution so we wouldn’t have to pay any attention to the FUCKING British!

“We plan ahead; that way, we don’t do anything right now."

"If you don't stop smirking at me like that, I'm gonna have to kiss you."

"Shenanigans! I'm calling Shenanigans!!"

"Fuck you guys, I'm going home."

"That would imply some kind of agency-- I assure you, I did not CHOOSE this in any capacity."

"On a scale of one to ten, I think I'm hanging out somewhere in the concept of infinity."

"Got the short end of the stick, so I started beating people with it."

"That was so low on the list of things I expected to happen, it was in another state."

"BALLS TO THE WALL, BOYS!"

“You put a whole new shine on the word overkill.”

"Above my paygrade."

"I'm surrounded by assholes..."

"Besides-- in my professional opinion, the change is an improvement."

"A lifetime of preparation... and I end up a REFUGEE?"

".... are you not wearing pants right now?"

“I want a man with a tattoo on his dick! Have I got the right man?”

“I’m short for my height.”

"This isn't a joke, you shit-sucking asshole!"

"Count to... ten."

"Well that's just recockulous."

“So where the hell is the goddamn golden oldie coming from?”

"I always take my own advice under advisement-- you, on the other hand, should pay a little more goddamn attention."

"Listen, babe-- we've been attacked, chased, shot at, poisoned, and blown up! HOW could it get any WORSE?!"

“It will get colder and colder until we all have to go to hell just to warm up.”

“Broke into the wrong goddamn rec-room, didn’t you, you bastard?!”

“When you need it, and don’t have it, you sing a different tune.”

“I only speak two languages; English and Bad English!”

"[sigh]... 'Yer face' is NOT a numerical value."

“Nothing is impossible, only mathematically improbable.”

“I mean, [insert your faction of choice] offers to give you anything you want and you ask for just two cases of dynamite?”

“People keep giving me rings, but I really think a small death ray would be more practical.”

“Or, or, and this is the really important part, we might not die.”

"Tch, amateurs."

"Violence isn't the answer, it's the question-- and the answer is yes."

As always, this will be going online just as I'm crashing for the night, but the askbox is open and ready to collect requests right now! So get yours in, and I'll see ya in the morning when I start arting things up! :D

-Loor

[snippetycape1]

Alright alright alright alright it's tiiiiiiime. Always wanted to rank the super powers in KnB so now imma do that.

Disclaimer, this won't be about the characters themselves or their attributes, strictly just the skills. If I rank a players skill above another that doesn't necessarily mean I think X character is stronger than Y character or anything this is just signature skill. Also i have watched KnB at least 8 times, and the movie at least three times so if I mess up someone's ability roast me I deserve it.

Now enough nonsense let's do it

#8 Kagami's Super Jumps

Okay don't get me wrong dunking is the coolest move in basketball, but kagami had so many cooler areas of his game that turning him into a dunk beast by the end of the series really takes away his amazing style. Also he says he wants to fight in the air and midorima points out "it doesn't matter how high you jump I know where you're coming and what you're doing" like super hops are great and all but he should've used it for enhancing his other moves.

(Meteor Jam is sick as hell though, ngl)

#7 Aomine Daiki's Formless Shot

Okay, this ability is not bad. It's low mostly because Aomine doesn't use it/need it. He's shown to be so powerful that this is kinda just him fucking around to troll his opponents, which don't get me wrong style points are real, but this is for sure aomine's weakest ability

However it is sooooo deadly, it's powerful but Formless Shot vs. Forced Zone Activation? Yeah don't lie you know which one is way scarier.

#6 Murasakibara Perfect Defense.

Yeah that's right defense is fucking sick. You wish you could defend half as nice as murasakibara. This dude literally fought an uncrowned king, the phantom sixth man, and a runner up generation of miracles candidate on his own at the same time. And only lost to some invisible shots. He covers EVERYTHING!!! if you don't got that DEEP deep range you do not get to play. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, say hello to dikembe mutombo on your way to the bench.

#5 all the dojutsu, yeah that's right I'm naming all the eyes (Emperors, Eagle, Hawk, whatever Nash had) dojutsu. In fact I'm naming Emperors eye Byaku-Shar-Rinne-gan and you cannot stop me. And even though the eye tier list is easy to figure out, the ability to see the whole court is fantastic and any point guard with that level of awareness is deadly. The secondary abilities granted I count as skills not as baseline super powers, i.e. killer handles from akashi (which Kise uses), or seeing a perfect back tip steal opportunity with eagle eye so those aren't on the list. And I think each eye is strong enough to warrant putting them all together here

Now to break the established rule

#4 Kuroko's Phantom series AND God Passes

Yeah that's right, I'm putting techniques in a list I specifically made to not talk about techniques, bite me. Ignite series is top tier, misdirection and misdirection overflow are god tier (yeah so he can use it once, big deal, it's still god tier) and the phantom series are just too fun. If I had to pick one ability from kuroko though for this list purpose, his misdirection is his ability. Yeah it can't be spammed and without it he's nearly useless but ill take a player who can take charges and force opposing players into foul trouble over a ball hog any day.

#3 Midorima Shintaro - High Arcing Three

Okay here's the thing Midorima Shintaro High Arcing Three is a dumb name and I'm mad that I'm placing it this high up on the list but. Objectively. 3>2. So yeah, take your spot with pride green boy. Yeah that's right, I think it's a neat ability but I didn't think it should be this high up, until you sit down and realize yeah cool your sick ass hops and your full paint and midrange defense and your handles are all well and good. But you're getting two points while I get three from anywhere. And don't lie seeing that mid air catch and shoot was the absolute SICKEST thing ever. Akashi liked it so much he straight up STOLE it. Sure dunks are hype but that is the most SKILLFUL thing ever shown. Now to the toppest of top tiers.

#3 Aomine Daiki Forced Zone Activation

Golly Gee Willickers Dai-chan how come your mom let's you have two basketball superpowers. Okay I hate to say it Zone is cool but it sucks that it becomes pretty much required by the end of the series to stay relevant. That being said, Aomine can activate it whenever and that's insane. If Aomine continued training, you realize he'd be nearly if not entirely unstoppable except by arguably only one character in the series

Two if you think Akashi with his eyes could beat Aomine (yeah he beat Kagami's zone, but Akashi even considered Aomine the strongest at teiko, so if aomine stayed serious he'd be even more of an untouchable monster)

#2 Shogo Haizaki - Steal

Okay okay okay okay okay, yes. Technically I'm putting kise twice. Honestly steal is to copy what red eyes is to blue eyes in yugioh. Steal has so much POTENTIAL to be the strongest ability in the entire show. Being able to take the opponents moves away would cripple many players. If Haizaki trained hard he may have even discovered perfect Steal so he could stop the Generation of Miracles techniques, the only two who wouldn't have an issue would be aomine (because technically Formless shot can't really be stolen, he can just do a Formless shot from a different form and just yeah) and Kise (I think kise had more techniques in his toolbox, and that he was too scared to try those moves against haizaki because he was nervous at seeing Steal for the first time). Steal is busted but it has nothing against number one.

#1 Kise Ryota's Copy and PERFECT COPY

Copy is actually insane, while he can't shut down the ability to use a move like Haizaki, being able to do your move but better is probably just as good. Yeah you can use that dunk on me, and yeah you might know how to defend against your move, but im faster stronger and smarter than you. Kise literally just "I am Kakashi of the Sharingan I know 10000 jutsu" nah son I'm Kise Ryota of the musically gifted (love eagleburger) and I know all the basketball moves.

And PERFECT COPY, duuuuuude if you don't think perfect COPY is the best ability in KnB you're actually just not smart. When Kise with perfect copy was THE ACE on a team MADE OF ALL THE ACES, yeah you just straight up win with that ability. Also kise didn't even use it to its max ability, yeah he copies the generation of miracles but they say that he removes the limits of his normal copy so now he can copy anybody. Yeah it takes a huge toll on his body but kise could copy NBA players (likely for even less time than normal perfect copy) if he really wanted to. So yeah, Kise is dumb strong.

That's it, that's my list. Bye.

[thesolotomyhan]

narcos: dating them would include: gustavo gaviria hc

:)

Tags: @fandomnerd16​ @visintaes​ @sheeshgivemeabreak​ 

let me know if you want to be added/taken off the tag list! 

Warnings: NSFW!

ok, when I think of gustavo being in a relationship i can imagine it being full of pure bliss,

your relationship would make both of your hearts full for one another even when you’re not even looking at each other-

gustavo would need someone who is always on his side but also the complete opposite of his anxious ass,,

wow you would basically be the cushion he can fall back on at the end of the day without criticism from anyone. you would be his home :)

like whenever you see him scribbling all these numbers down in his little notepad for pablo, tirelessly working his mind off,,

you would be the one to pull him away, from his constant state of stress and help him breathe,,

“espérame otros 5 minutos bebé, ya casi acabo”

“gustavo, eso dijiste hace 2 horas, no va a pasar nada con tomarte un descanso, vamos” as your giving him like a shoulder rub, already seeing him relaxing in your touch,,,

god, gustavo is an affection whore,,i know he loves it when you run your hands through his hair, give him kisses, or even hugging him,,, just always touching him, your mere presence calms him and clears his mind,,

i feel like gustavo wouldnt be into taking you out to fancy dates, or clubs, he gives me more of, i’ll take you out to lunch instead, vibe,, c a s u a l

he’s not into publicity or showing you off in front of others that aren’t apart of the family-

but he wouldnt mind you holding his hand or giving him a quick kiss in front of others,, he actually likes that kind of stuff when you’re loving up on him,,

he would also be someone who likes to hold you from behind with his arms across your chest, holding you close to him,, where he might rock the both of you back and forth-

ok, but literally the cutest shit is when you come up to him after he spends all day at pablo’s house, just taking his hat off when you’re in front of him and giving him a sweet kiss,,

the little laugh he’ll give when you do that as he wraps one of his arms around you…

you would probably spend a lot of your time at pablo’s house with gustavo anyways because he would prefer to keep you nearby and not at home waiting for him-

omg, but also being best friends with tata would be a bonus,, just having an attached to the hip type of relationship with her-

, the two of you spilling chisme about pablo and gustavo when youre together,,,

just the perfect girl time with her-

ok listen, you would also be the favorite tia with pablo’s kids,,

just thinking about how you would always be down to play fútbol with juan pablo, or do whatever manuela’s heart desires from you,,

just being that tia that secretly gives them candies before dinner and doing water gun fights with them?? Please omg 

like the idea that you would be chasing them around the hacienda, full on laughing until you’re soaked from head to toe,,

there also might of been multiple times when the 3 of you teamed up and snuck up on tio gustavo who was taking a smoke break-

ugh, pablo would be laughing at the sight of gustavo swearing and chasing after the 3 of you-

wow ok also the thought of gustavo just watching you do all these things for those kids, how you never turn down any of their requests, would have him admiring you even more if it’s possible, his mujer

now is he going to have baby fever after he sees you do literally anything for that pair of kids? Maybe :)) 

god ok the longing look he would give you when he sees you walking into the room,,,

even tho youre not even looking in his direction because you would be talking with tata or something,

but gustavo would forget whatever tf he was talking to with pablo about and just stare at you, the smallest smile showing- omg

Pablo would endlessly tease gustavo for being soft with you even though he adores your relationship and you even more for keeping his cousin happy-

dragging him along to the family events for him to enjoy too, the amused look he would have as he watches you tug him forward to listen to pablo’s speech in front of everyone,,

i- he just gives me the feeling that he would put up with a lot your things just to see the excitement in your eyes-

like deep down he really loves it when you force him to do things,,

can you imagine having late night conversations with him, out on the bench by the pool, where you would be cuddled into his side,

just sitting there for hours with the soft fucking looks you would give each other, talking about everything,,

him singing the songs that would come on the radio to you, omg hold on 

and most of the times, pablo and tata would come join you guys

probably listening to the dumb things they used to do as kids, just, sharing laughs and stories until it gets so late, you’re falling asleep against gustavos chest,,,

fuck, ok but pablo telling gustavo when he sees that you fell asleep-

“no vayas a dejar ir a esa mujer, marica”

just- the way he would look down at you, peacefully sleeping, giving you a soft kiss on top of your head

the feel of the ring that sits inside of his pocket has him chuckling back at pablo,, and imagining how pretty it would look on your hand instead, Im not ok im sorry

NSFW:

ok here we gooo,,

so first off I have this picture in mind where he would be doing his financial things for the cartel out in this outdoor lawn table,-

just looking over the papers in front of him, writing down numbers with like a cigarette in between his lips,

as he just lets himself fall back into his chair, looking down at where you are, on your knees in front of him,,

moving your hair out of your face so he can see you better as you blow him-

just,,, the low groans he’ll let out when he sees you take all of him into your mouth-

“hijo de puta”-

running his hands over his face when he lets his head fall back, trying not to just fucking thrust into your mouth because he wants to see you gag so badly, but he holds himself back,,

he’ll be gripping the arm rest so hard it might break when he looks down again and sees the drool dripping from your lips as you bob you head -ok

so i see gustavo being someone who likes to take his time with you when he has time- a slowburn tempo

just kissing every part of your exposed skin each time he takes something new off of you, caressing wherever he can touch you-

he would know what spots would get you to respond to him quicker and what would have you gripping him harder- 

wanting to see you slowly fall apart,,, 

i feel like he would love to focus so much of his attention to your chest,especially when your on top of him,,

because I know gustavo likes being topped ok,,

just leaving as many marks as he can there- kissing and kneading you’re breasts as he watches you cave your head back,,

he would move his hands to your ass where he’ll encourage you to move your body to grind down on him, smiling against you when he hears you sigh his name out as you place your hands against his chest and move along with his movements,,

god, the way his hands would move to wander all over your back when you reach between the two of you to grasp his cock and slowly sink down onto him, your hands moving to grip his hair as an anchor,, 

he would let you adjust to him for as long as you need as he kisses your neck, letting you take the reins and control the speed whenever youre on top-

he’ll just watch you closely, loving the way you dig your nails into his shoulders as you try so hard to reach your high, once you start bouncing on him,, 

wow, the way how he only needs to thrust just once up into you to see you lose your momentum,

moving his hands up and down your legs when you plant your hands on his chest to steady yourself, -

probably teases you for getting distracted so easily,-

“sigue, pensé que vos quería esto”,- ok

the slow sex,omg

like i can imagine youre on your back with him on top of you, the both of you having your chests touching, nothing being able to get between the two of you,

your face right in front of his as he brings his hand to rest on your chest, slowly but harshly thrusting into you with your legs wrapped around his hips,,

god, his thrusts would have your body moving up on the bed, to the point where you have to put your hand against the headboard to stop yourself from hitting it-

he’ll just be whispering to you how beautiful you look taking him in as he leaves marks on the underside of your jaw,,

his thrusts gradually picking up speed as he moves to kiss your lips, muffling your moans,, as one of your hands come to tug on his hair-

his own hand would come up and hold the back of your neck when he feels you close to your orgasm, just wanting to see the way you roll your eyes back-

*and cuddling afterwards would be his shit,, 

nothing makes his heart warm than having you laying on his chest, mindlessly drawing patterns

your legs tangled with his as he holds you close, the smell of his fresh cigarette filling the room, both of your breaths slowly coming back as the two of you smile into each other,, -

god, and he would also be the mf to call you, when you’re not with him, to be ready for him when he gets home after a long day,, 

“ahorita llego en 15 minutos, te quiero en la cama esperándome”

wanting nothing than to relieve his stress by seeing you under him, moaning his name-

fuck,, just needing to feel you clench around him again while you move your hips up into him, your hair becoming a mess from his hold on it- wow

[popculturebuffet]

Top 12 Three Caballeros Moments: Ride of the Three Caballeros Epilogue!

Salduos Amigos...and Adios, as this is the FINAL part of my 20 part look at those happy amigos, those snappy chappies in matching serapes, those birds of the feather, THE THREE CABALLEROS, THE RIDE OF THE THREE CABALLEROS! Yes after 19 other articles, all paid for by megafan and patron of the blog @weirdkev27​, it’s time to bid our boys a fond farewell.  And what a ride i’ts been... we’ve had trips to Bahia, animaton sequences requiring a LOT of 1940′s cocaine ,Jose reinacting the plot of “Come a LIttle Bit Closer” by jay and the americans but ironcially not in the Badman Jose roll,, a less happy reunion where Donald went full vanilla ice for a few moments, Panchito giving us his long and storied family history in song form, Donald needing a vacation after his girlfriend punched him in the face and instead getting eaten by a giant snake, FLAMENCO MASTER HORACE HORSECOLLAR, Soccer with super cars, and our heroes having a warm and fun reunion and having to admit their lives didn’t turn out so good while Dewey jacaksses around in the subplot.

 And all of this lead into their very own series where our heroes met a goddess and wayne knight all in the same day, defeated THE MIGHTY MINOTAUR, got into a giant robot fight on the fucking moon, meeting the roman gods who live on and tend to the norse world tree for some reason, preventing a stupidly started lava apocalypse, going to goblin jail via song, meeting some literal dead presidents, chasing a bear around a fancy rich people town, getting into the ch-ch-chalk zone, fighting a wrestling match against the respresntive of the god of death, dying and coming back to life as a result of said wrestling match, going to camelot to train with king arthrus’ self helf book, going to a yeti spa and finally returning for one last battle with an evil wizard, his pet monkeybatdonkeyrat, and wayne knight, and have to put up with Donald’s shrill abusive ex girlfriend through about half of it. All in all good stuff and i’ll always be greatful for kevn funding this and giving me the chance to both finally watch legend and in general cover these wonderful characters. While i’m sure Panchito and Jose wil lbe back for the big finale of Ducktales, I’m gonna miss these guys and hope they get another shot at the big time one day. 

But Kevin had a great idea, one I decided to do for free since this thing cost 100 dollars together as it was a movie, and 20 episodes of television, so it was a LOT to do.  Fun but a lot of work. A top 12 list of the best moments from across the works covered for this retrospective. From the movie to the series, these are the best of the best moments of the best boys around. So without further adeu join me under the cut as I throw one hell of an after party for one hell of a ride.

12. The Cold Blooded Penguin (The Three Caballeros (Movie) )

This one is low because it doesn’t exactly involve the boys at all as this was a short in their movie. But what can I say, I love penguins, especially Opus.

And the charming tale of a pengy named Pablo who has trouble with the cold and wants to head off for warmer climates just never ceases to entertain me. It’s adorable, pretty funny and just a nice little start to the film every time I watch it. Especially his friends with the sleepy, depressed eyebrows. Really relate to them, especially the tall one with a ponch, aka me as a penguin.  Not much else to say hence why it’s so low, but I really enjoyed this short and can’t help but put Pablo on the list.. and wish he’d gotten a nod in Legend, but then again given we weren’t given a second season they were probably just saving him. 

11. Charon’s Fabulous Cruise (Legend of the Three Caballeros) Another Cabs free entry but I Just love this concept: Charon, ferryman of the river sticks.. deciding since he’s not getting as many customers to turn it into a cruise ship complete with add. IT’s low both because it dosen’t involve the boys and it dosen’t take up much of it’s episode.. but damn if it ain’t funny. And Jim Cummings just brings his all to it.. granted HE always does, the man’s a legend for a reason, but dosne’t make his performance any less lovely. WIsh we got a second season just so we could see this guy again among other reasons. 

10. You Don’t Get a Vacation You Take it (Legend of the Three Caballeros)  Wayne Knight as Sheldgoose.. was easily one of the best parts of Legend of the Three Caballeros. While the show itself was fairly high quality it’s other main villain Feldrake eventually fell into just calling Sheldgoose a moron and hitting him as his only character. IN contrast while at first apperance Sheldgoose was just a rich asshole with hair that looks like a bad toupe but apparently is his actual hair and what he choose to go with and a hell of a moustache.. and while that’s all true, he’s also cunning and manipultive, often making Feldrake’s plans work simply by using clever manipulations. He’s funny, enaging and the sadest part of no second season is not getting more of this guy. Hopefully he’ll show up in another.. even the comics using him without Wayne Knight’s Dulect Tones would be nice. He’s a good villian and would fit just as well in the classic comics being either a snooty nuisance to donald in some way, or being a rival fro scrooge, also being rich but his family having earned it by stealing from others.  But for now what we got ain’t bad and hte best example of just what sheldgoose is capable of is also his first bit of contirbuting more than as a set of hands for feldrake, phrasing. His vilian song. Yes Wayne Knight FINALLY gets a villian song. Your very welcome. 

The song is just fun, a Luau type song with a sinster undercurrent and wayne knight just having a hell of a time, alternating between speaking and singing> It’s low on this list because i’ts an OKAY song, i’ve seen better villian songs, I just really liked this one, and because it dosen’t exactly involved the boys, but I still hold to my convictions in putting this one on here.

9. Panchito Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero González (House of Mouse) Only House of Mouse entry, and suprisingly it’s not Donald squeaking “And i’m donald duck!” , which has been burned into my brain for a few decades. No it’s the groups OTHER song in there second apperance on the show Not So Goofy, sung by the incomprable Rob Pauslen. While I sitll think he was easily the worst Jose of the bunch, and that the roll never should’ve been given to a white man to begin with, credit where it’s do: he wasn’t a have bad panchito. He only voiced everyone’s faviorite rooster, suck it Foghorn Leghorn, once, for a song, likely to capatalize on the fact Paulsen was famed for Yakko’s World and other songs where he sang a lot at once, but boy did he make a meal of it. Observe.

The song is lightly hampered by the fact it also uses his version of Jose which is probably the worst work i’ve heard from Rob. And given it’s the only roll i’ve heard of his that wasn’t very good and he’s still VERY CLEARLY trying his best, that says a lot to the guy’s quality. And im not saying all this to avoid backlash, I stand by what I say and how I say it.. i’m saying it because I truly love and respect the guy this just was not his best work. This song however is Rob on full blast, using his ablitlity to talk fast no matter the voice to give us one heck of a lively performance and name for Panchito, one that was reused for Ride of the Three Cabs though sadly minus the song, as I would’ve LOVED to hear Jamie Camill belt this one out. But the lively animation and liveleir performance earn this one a spot.

8. Baia, Donald (The Three Caballeros) For this one i’m squishing three different but related parts of the movie together: The “Have you been to Baia, Donald” song, the train trip there and the awesome musical number at the end. But all three flow together as one great sequence with the frist two serviing as a fun prelude for a fun sequence as Donald and Jose try to woo a lady named Yaya, played by Aurora Miranda, and get into a big and fun dance number that for the time is AMAZINGLY blended with the live action work. The song is an utter ear worm, the seqeunce is fun and it lacks some of the creepiness Donald’s later session of flirting had and the colors are vibrant as hell. Wonderful, beautiful stuff. It’s really hard to talk about as not a lot happens in it other than a fun bit of song and dance.. but sometimes tha’ts just waht you need: a bunch of actors, two of which were animated, moving and groving to a heckuva beat. 

7. I Love You Guys (Legend of the Three Caballeros)  This was just a very sweet moment but one I treasure. The Cabs beat a giant horrifying rage beast.. by genuinely apoologizing to donald, telling him they love him then having a group hug. After a full episode before this of them just kinda ignoring what he cared about, Xandra and the boys genuine apologies and Donald genuinely telling them “I love you guys” and realizing for the first time in his life he’s genuinely loved and appricated. It just feels so fucking nice. Shame they didn’t you know.. end the Daisy plot with him realizing he dind’t need or or that he wasn’t angsiting over a selfish goldigger in the first place but hey, you take what you can get sometimes and the getting is good here. 

6. The Cabs Song .. in Comic Form! (The Three Caballeros Ride Again!) 

Another fairly quick one to talk about but one’s that damn impressive. The Three Cabs ride again is a wonderful story that reunites our birds of a feather for an adventure in mexico.. and one of it’s two best moments, the other one way further up from Don Rosa’s classic, seriously check it out it’s good, is when the boys, to distract their enemy for the story, play their classic song.  Musical numbers.. are hard to pull off in comics. As Linkara, comic critic and one of my inspirations check him out on youtube he’s really fantastic, has mentioned quite a bit not having the sound to go with it is an uphill battle. But i’m not as against this as he is.. as long as you can convey the ENERGY of said song and perofrmance in the page. As long as you got that, you can pull it off and boy oh boy oh boy did Rosa ever. While it’s only about a page and a half long it’s just a fun, wonderful litlte sequence, from the crowd that has no reaction til lthe end when our big bad clubs them with the guitar, to our heroes swipining tablecoths to seve as serape to Donald falling outside, it’s one of the highlights of an alreayd impressive story. 

5. Jam Session (Ducktales, The Town Where Everyone Was Nice!) 

Only one Ducktales moment but it’s a keeper to be sure and now I HAVE seen Legend... I can say as I did there Jamie Camil REALLY shoudlv’e been kept as Panchito but “The Town Where Everyone Was Nice”.. really was still ag reat version of the characters and still kept them true. It wasn’t AS good as the Legend versions.. but honestly that’s fine. Not every version HAS to be good as the others and they were still wella cted, wonderfully animated and the story was great. And the moment that shows it off best is the boys quite moment after lunch, where they remincse, have fun, think about old times.. then hear a radio and slowly but surely have a fun dance number together, playing like old times. It’s this moment that makes me REALLY question why people hated this so much, as this one tiny moment captures the cabs chemistry and comrander in just two short minutes, Donald getting angry, Jose defusing int with a dance then him joining in, the three just jamming iwth whatever’s on hand and jose magically playing the fluit with his umbrella. I’ts all just so charming I love it. The end version of the three cabs IS really awesome, it just didn’t make the cut. Still liked it though.. but this.. this is better. Sometimes less is more you know?

4. The Three Cablleros Song (The Three Caballeros (Movie) ) Look you knew this was coming, I knew this was coming, we all knew this was coming. But the song is no less awesome, with fluid animation, wonderful vocals and lyrics, and an unberably catchy tune. It’s iconic to the characters, having popped up in four different renditions during this retrsopective, all of them pretty damn good, but no one tops the original.  Even the two more dated bits, some latin baby and Panchito having a gun solo, somehow don’t hamper what’s otherwise an iconic moment. It’s fun, it’s fancy free, and it establishes the boys dynamic perfectly, one that as we’ve seen would last a few lifetimes and probably will last forever. 

3. We Say So! (The Three Caballeros Ride Again) While Ride again is a VERY good story, it’s best moment is ironiclaly it’s end despite leaving you wanting more and more. After a fun adventure and a laugh over it being for nothing really, our friends return to Jose’s job at a night club, which his manager, who understandably has issues with Jose choosing wooing ladies over actually doing his job sometimes, only gives him back because it’s a big night but needs a big act. The first touching moment here is the fact the boys pitch in without being asked because hteir friend needs them. But the real moment is what happens after: The Triplets return from the hotel, still bemoaning as they did ealrier in the story that Donald has no friends and assume when they see him on stage and see him crash off it that he incited a riot.. only for his friends to assure him he’s a very fine fellow and they say so.. and in an instnat the boys realize donald DOES have friends.. and the best friends a duck can ask for. And after a lifetime of being spat on and barely winning.. Donald gets an unquestioned victory, stnading proudly with his friends for a packed house who still want more while his nephews look on proudly. I say so.. and what I say is that this moment is one of Rosa’s finest and one of the most touching thigns the man’s ever written. 

2. This is Just Where I Came In (The Legend of the Three Caballeros) The Legend of the Three Cabs was excellent and it ended on one hell of a high. After a heck of a fight via callbacks that barely didnt’ make the list, our heroes rush in to stop Feldrake. their sorcerer nemisis,  from reviving.. only for it to be too late. He’s back in full and soon warps reality around him leaving the boys hometown of the New Quackmore insitute as a series of rubble, buildings and people clinging desperatly to both floating in a hell of a starry backdrop, the only chance to stop this from happenign to the world resting in our heroes. And it’s so we catch up with where the seires began: our three heros decked out in truly awesome armor, though why Panchtio’s is roman I have no idea, fighting a giant and mosnterious felldrake and while his deisgn in that form is eh, his threat is palpable and the fight is goregous and pitch perfect.. and only gets better when we catch up, as Xandra swoops in to save htem from the cliffhanger the series started with. It only isn’t up top because of tow reasons; I like the first moment better.. and the boys do fall in a magic pool of amulet juice and emerge with powers due to a character we just meet when they do so. It’s a bit of a cop out.. but even with it being a cop out and a dues ex machina of the HIGHEST order.. it dosen’t stop it form being awesome when our heroes emerge merged with thier amulets energies, in their signutre colors and whoop felldrakes ass with a revivied Xandra’s help and then nearly reseal feldrake before his being resealed, but in Sheldgoose, resotres everything and our heroes get a WELL earned bout of praise from the town and a fancy mansion and in donald’s case a new job. A specatuclar, tense and gorgeous finale to a wonderful series. 

1. Ride Em, Vaquero! (The Magificent 7 (Minus 4) Caballeros)  Look I know it sounds like a bit of a downgrade to go from a battle for the fate of the world to our heroes fighting a spoiled prince and a giant anaconda just to make it out alive.. but frankly this battle is more tense, has all boys showing off even better, and has a climax so awesome even saving the unvierse with suddenly gained magic powers can’t top it.  For the setting our heroes end up trapped in a lost city with the bad guy of the comic, Don Rosa’s second to last and his second of only two cabs stories, prepared to get away. But then Donald snaps, spurred on bya ll the shit he had to put up with back home,and TACKLES the fucking guy in his boat getting into one hell of a scrap. And if that wasn’t enough, what brings this to true glory is a giant Anaconda who shoed up earlier, popping up.. leading to Donald fighting our big bad.. WHILE BEING TANGLED UP IN A FUCKING PYTHON. 

What truly clinches this as the best of the best for me though is Jose and Panchito’s actions, with Jose fighting the guy off off donlad, and actually having his umbrella WORK this time, and while the bad guy gets the raft from our heroes.. he falls off a cliff. So how do our heroes escape.. simple .. PANCHITO LASSOS THE FLEEING SNAKE AND THEY RIDE IT OUT AS SEEN ABOVE THROUGH A POND FULL OF DANGEROUS CREATURES WHO ALL STARE IN AWE AT THE SIGHT OR FLEE.  You.. you just can’t top that. The awesomness, the teamwork, the sheer balls on panchito..i t’s all just so beauitful and sums up what the boys are about: Deft teamwork, camradire.. and doing utterly insane shit as only best friends can. 

So with that.. this ride has come to an end. As I said before and will say again, it’s been fun, easily the biggest project i’ve done so far, and easily one of my faviorites. I love these guys and geninely hope we see them again real soon. So before I go, i’d like to say some thank yous. I”d like to thank ALL of the talented people involved in the making of the original film, as there are way too many to mention as it was a package movie but without you lovely and mostly deceased people we’d never have these wonderful guys. I’d like to thank Don Rosa for bringing the boys back and better than ever and beautifully so AND returning to them again. I’d like to thank Henry Gilroy and Phil Walsh, who wrote the first and second house of mouse cabs episodes for bringing the boys back to the screen, as well as series creators Robert Gainway and Tony Craig and the MASSIVE pile of storyboarders for both episode.  I’d like to thank the people behind mickey and the roadster racers, while your episodes were not very good I am glad the boys got more screentime, i’d like thank Frank Angrones and Matt Youngberg for their wonderful versions of the boys and total respect to their legacy, and i’d REALLY like to thank Matt Danner for giving us a wonderful series and finally giving the boys a starring roll again. 

I’d also like to thank the MANY voice actors who voiced these wonderful characters, your beautiful all of you. To Donald’s voice actors for this retrospective i’d like to thank Clarence Nash, you absolute legend may you rest in peace, Tony Anselmo, may you keep on living please god we’ve lost a lot of good people lately don’t be one of them, and even Daniel Ross, who might not be the best Donald but he’s one of only five and you can’t take that way from him. 

For Jose i’d like to thank Jose Olivara, without you I don’t think we would’ve even gotten to the Cablleros as a group, Rob Paulsen, you tried your best and your still a winner in my heart, Eric Bauza, you genuinely were the best, and Bernardo Del Paula, who gave Bauza a run for his money and I hope returns in the role in the future. 

And finally for Panchito we have Joaquin Grey, again wouldn’t of had the rest without you man nice job, Carlos Alarzqaui, did the job and did it well, Rob Paulsen, gave us one hell of a song, Jamie Camill, the best around no one’s ever going to keep him down, Arturo Del Purto who while I prefer jamie.. still was excellent and I wouldn’t be mad if he returned again. 

And last but not least I’d like to sincerly thank @weirdkev27​. These reviews have GENUINELY helped me finacially since i’ts hard for me to find a job since I cannot drive and have a disablity, and thanks to htem i’ve been able to live comfortably and thanks to you in general i’ve been able to do what I love and get paid for it. You got me to do this wonderful restrospective, have been a genine support to the blog and a treasure to work with. Thanks man, your the best.  So with that, it’s time to ride off into the sunset. If the cabs get another apperance outside of ducktales, I will pick this up again... and wether it’s in a year or ten you bet your bottom peso they’ll be back. Who says so? I says so. 

[crewhonk]

Only Happy Accidents (11)

YN is determined, on God, to let Steve have his day and not make it about herself for once.

Warnings: YN is dumb and in early labour, little smutty moment, Nat Knows Everything. y'all have had a fluffy lil series, but I'm about to angst it up and im not sorry

Only Happy Accidents (master list)

Songs: High As Hope Album— Florence and the Machine 

_______________________

July 3rd, Steve’s Birthday Party, Three Weeks and Three Days until due date, 9:15 AM

“You know. This view is something else.” YN piped up from the balcony of Steve’s old room at the tower. The room was massive and clean. The balcony was YN’s favourite besides the king bed, as it overlooked the treelike and training grounds that YN could watch the new recruits do morning laps or stretch out in the sun. “It’s nice to get out of the city for once.”

He hummed and came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her torso and swaying with her, hands on her swollen belly. She was wearing the prettiest little number he’d seen her wear since her wedding dress, and god, he’d married the most beautiful woman in the world. All of the worlds, probably. It was a simple white sundress that plunged between her boobs and stopped at the top of her stomach. A thin white piece of fabric cinched at the waist allowed for the dress to flare over her stomach and ass, and Steve really, really didn’t want to leave this room.

It was odd being back here— a stranger to his past life. The too clean surfaces of the room and bare walls which had never been cluttered with pictures haunted him and reminded of a person who he didn’t like. He liked the person he was now, though. Kind, sentimental, husband, almost-baby-daddy. 

It was odd being here, but Dr. Cho and Natasha insisted— they both wanted YN to be close to the delivery room and medical office in case something happened, and Steve, for once, encouraged Natasha’s overprotectiveness. 

“Have I told you I love you today, Wife?” He mumbled, lips teasing the bare skin of her neck. Her hair was tied into a bandana and off of her neck, and he loved the access it gave him. Maybe his favourite part of her was, in fact, the back of her neck. 

“A few times, but I could be reminded, Husband.” YN snorted, liking the way the word tasted on her tongue and how Steve held her closer when she said it. He felt her stomach move under his hands and a thrill like no other filled him from his toes to his nose. 

“I love you,” he whispered, kissing her shoulder. “I love you,” kissing her neck. “I love you,” kissing her jaw and cheek and finally, turning her head to face him, kissed her lips ad smiled. “I love you.” 

YN smiled and kissed him back, stepping away quickly and backing away from him and into the bathroom. “I know.”

___________________________

12:07 PM

Natasha prided herself on being observant. She knew Bucky was hiding something from her— not normal for him, but she trusted him enough to know that he would tell her when he was ready. She knew that Sam had been the one eating her snacks she specifically labelled. She knew Cho was seeing someone inside the compound. She knew things, and it was her favourite quality. 

So when YN walked in with Steve’s hand wrapped in her own, Natasha knew today was the day. 

It had taken a few strategic words on her part to get Steve to leave his wife’s side, but when he finally succumbed and moped off to find Sam and Bucky, Natasha followed YN to the snack table set up for the guests about to arrive for Steve’s birthday party and waited. 

“YN.” She said, and YN shook her head, shoving three finger sandwiches in her mouth and gathering a handful of cherry tomatoes. 

“YN.” She tried again and YN swallowed her food, eating a lemon square, and upon debating it, ate another. She looked at Natasha who was staring her down and YN raised on finger. ‘wait’. 

So, Natasha waited, eyeing YN’s stomach nervously. It was lower today than any other day she’d seen it— YN had always carried the baby high, but today it looked to be a completely different bump. Steve was sure to be aware, but since the due date wasn’t for another three weeks probably convinced himself that it was the dress YN was wearing that made her appear different. Steve was never someone who made assumptions about things this big. 

YN finished the cherry tomatoes in her hand and gulped down some punch, ate the slice of fruit she’d picked up and turned to Natasha. 

“I’m not allowed to eat in the delivery room, and I’ve been having light contractions since 8 AM this morning.” YN said simply and Natasha’s jaw dropped. Her hands immediately fell to YN’s stomach and somehow the skin and muscle even felt different. 

“You’ve been having contractions?” And upon YN shushing her loudly, dropped her voice. “And Steve doesn’t know?”

“I told him that she’s sitting on my bladder and I’ve been going to the bathroom and leaving the room often so I can carry out the worst ones.” YN said, looking at her husband who was laughing loudly with his friends. God, his world was about to be shifted upside down. 

“How far apart are they?” Natasha asked, and YN looked at her phone, nodding. One minute to go.

“I’m about to have another one in a minute if they’re regular, but right now they’re all at eighteen minutes give or take.” YN said, grabbing Nat’s hand and pulling her from the room. She walked quickly down a few turns and leaned against the wall, rocking from side to side and looking as if she was concentrating very hard on a spot on the other wall. 

“What can I do?” Nat said hurriedly. 

“Keep watch. I’m not letting this ruin Steve’s birthday party.” YN snarled through her teeth. They weren’t bad— just really bad period cramps, but they still sucked.

“YN. You are in early labour, we need to tell him.” Natasha hissed and YN straightened up, leaning the back of her head against the wall and catching her breath. 

“No. These past few months have been about me, and I just want Steve to be the centre of attention for once. He deserves it. Plus, I only started having contractions at eight this morning, audit’s noon now— I still have a minimum of four hours before real labour starts.” YN tried to reason and Natasha shook her head. 

“Can we at least go see doctor Cho?” Nat pleaded and YN, after searching her expression for any way out, nodded. 

“Fine.”

____________________________

1:00 PM

“So, you are in early labour, but you’re only about two centimetres dilated, but I’m not going to keep you here since you’re not in active labour.” Cho beamed, having grown attached to both Steve and YN throughout this process. She’d been a huge part of this journey, and felt as if she and YN had become some odd form of friends. 

“Told you.” YN joked at Nat as she helped the pregnant lady out of the stirrups and onto her feet. YN slipped on her slipper-flats and bowed her head as a smaller contraction made her belly tense. 

“Hey, I’m this kids aunt, so I’m going to make sure they’re safe.” Natasha rolled her eyes and smiled, nodding towards Cho who looked thoughtful. 

“What do you think the baby is going to be?” Cho wondered. “I have my guesses but It’s not my place to say.”

Natasha looked at YN, then, and down to her belly. A small, pale hand rested on the swell and Natahsa cocked her head. 

“Healthy, I hope.”

____________________________

3:16 PM

The party was swinging, by now. The music filled the common room as Avengers from around the world and galaxy filled the room to celebrate Steve Rogers. YN smiled politely as Carol Danvers looked fondly down at you, shaking your hand. 

“He’s a lucky guy, that Steve Rogers.” Her voice was low and silky and if it was Halloween again, maybe, just maybe, YN would have flirted back. 

“I think I’m the lucky one, honestly.” YN blushed and Carol smiled brightly. The conversation was that of small talk and not much else, but YN did feel as if she was the only person that mattered when Carol spoke— a quality of Carols that YN quite admired. Eventually, Carol was beckoned by Nick Fury, who had chosen a casual pair of sunglasses over his usual eye patch. 

YN could feel pairs of eyes on her the whole time she wandered around the room, and found that Wanda Maximoff, Pepper Potts, as well as Natasha and Carol all seemed to be in the know about what was happening. Wanda, likely because she was in YN’s mind, Pepper, because she’d gone through the same thing (and been just as stubborn), and Carol, because maybe, just maybe, YN was being less subtle than she thought. 

The contractions had since lost their regularity— coming at intervals from anywhere between five minutes and half an hour. It was disheartening, frankly, but seeing the was Steve seemed to be glowing was bearable. YN was leaning against the counter, just watching him from across the room and nursing another finger sandwich and water when he looked over. Peter Quill and Thor were both chatting with Steve, but when Steve caught her eyes, he excused himself politely and wandered over to her. He walked up slowly, and leaned against her lightly, kissing her soundly and making her toes curl. 

“You’re pretty.” He murmured, dopey smile on his face. YN snorted, and cupped his cheeks gently, kissing him again and brushing the tip of her nose against his. 

“You excited?” YN asked nervously, and Steve grinned widely cupping the sides of her belly. 

“I just want to meet him now—“

“Her.”

“It’s going to be a boy I know it.”

“I’m sure she wants to meet you just as bad.” YN smiled, and as she felt another cramp tighten in her stomach, kissed the breath out of Steve Rogers to distract herself. 

____________________________

7:07PM

The dinner plates had been cleared, and the party had settled into the couches— only a few remained. Those with children or living off-planet needed to go, so now, only a small group remained. YN ignored the stares of Wanda, Pepper and Natasha as she curled up into Steve’s side, rubbing her belly every time a contraction made itself known. She glanced at her phone again and noted the time— they were getting more regular now— an easy 16 minutes and they were also at a consistent pain level which was manageable but still uncomfortable. 

“You okay?” Steve whispered into YN’s temple and she nodded, settling against him as the contraction subsided. He kissed the crown of her head and rubbed her shoulder which was hidden under her brown leather jacket. 

“I’m wonderful.” YN returned and she wrapped her arm around his middle, throwing her legs over his thigh and sighing. 

“You waiting for something?” Steve asked, looking down at her phone, and she played it off, shrugging. 

“You caught me, I have a mistress. She’s getting a private jet and we’re running away together.” YN grinned and Steve made a sound in the back of his throat— somewhere between a guffaw and a snort. “She’s really into pregnant women too.”

“Too bad I’m not, huh?” Steve crooned and she ignored the way her stomach turned at his tone. 

“Too bad, indeed.” YN agreed and suddenly, Steve stood, holding a hand out for YN to take and tired back to the group when she stood, blushing furiously. “We’re going to head to bed, it’s been swell.” Steve smiled and the small group of people booed. 

“Come on, man the night is still young.” Sam protested, offering Steve another beer as an offering. Steve waved him off and wrapped an arm around his wife shoulder, carting them off towards the door. 

“That’s why we’re going!” 

______________________

7:15PM

Steve wasted little time in pressing YN against the door of his bedroom, hands skirting under her dress and tracing up the sides of her thighs. His touch was hot on her, goosebumps erupting over her skin in distinct trails. His lips were seared to her in an intense kiss, and he bent down and scooped her into his arms bridal style, making her squeal and clutch him desperately. 

“Steve! What’re you—!” YN tried, laughing as he tried to sexily take off his shirt but failing and looking like a damn dork. 

“I’m about to ravish my wife, and make sure she doesn’t run away with her pregnant-woman-loving mistress.” He joked, crawling over YN and kissing her neck, making her sigh and scratch his scalp. She spread her legs easily for him, and he fit between them like a puzzle piece. 

“Love this dress, couldn’t keep my eyes off of you the whole night.” He mumbled, moving her thin strap down her arm and following its path with kisses. “It’s look better on the floor though.”

And so he urged her to sit up, kissing her forehead gently before lifting the dress over her head and making his breath stop in his throat— god, she was beautiful. She was braless— the dress made no room for one, and her tits were swollen and soft and waiting for him to get his mouth on them and give them the attention they deserved. His lips were gentle on her— her skin had been wonderfully sensitive these past few days, and it never took much time for her to become putty in his hands. 

“Steve.” YN said, and he grunted against her, the taste of her warm in his mouth. She wanted to continue this, really she did, but someone else int eh room had another idea. 

“Say my name again, Sweetheart. Love hearin’ you say it.” He replied, pressing her onto her back and letting his hands drift lightly across her belly and to the apex of her thighs where he cupped her sex, and moaned. “Wet for me, huh?”

“Steve, wait.” YN said and Steve was in his right mind enough to pull back a little, looking into her eyes. 

“You okay, babe? Did I do something?” He asked, worry making his tone thick. YN shook her head and smiled, brow furrowing a little and looking at the side table where she saw her phone. 

“Check my phone please, and tell me the time.” She said, and his heart dropped to his stomach— was there really someone else?

“7:37.” He replied and she nodded, grabbing a pillow and rolling onto her hands and knees. She buried her face in the pillow and let out a low moan, somewhere from deep in her body that Steve didn’t realize she could even make. She rocked back and forth into the pillow, and Steve watched helplessly as he watched his wife’s body tighten and tighten until he thought it would break. 

“YN? What— What’s going on?” He begged and her hand shot out, gripping his forearm hard enough for him to be concerned— it didn’t hurt, but usually she was always so gentle with him, even when she was frustrated. “You’re scaring me.”

Eventually, she let her breath go and she melted into the bed, pulling her red face from the pillow and resting on her cheek, looking up at him. 

“I didn’t tell you ‘cause I wanted you to have one day where you were the centre of attention, but I’ve been in early labour since 8 in the morning and that was a damn strong contraction.”

And Steve, a man who had seen death over the period of a century, a man who has killed and run from the government on more than one occasion. Steve, a man who has saved the world countless times over and a man who was the bravest she’d ever met let his eyes roll into his skull and fall off the bed in the most dramatic faint YN Rogers had ever seen.

______________________

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[sofiaisms]

only five minutes ‘til midnight , and we just spotted SOFIA ROMERO , known for their OVERFLOWING GLASSES OF BUBBLY , SUN-KISSED SKIN GLISTENING WITH SPECS OF GLITTER , & PRETTY LIPS SPEWING UGLY WORDS IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT at club nouveau , ringing in the new year ! the TWENTY-TWO year old is usually known for their job as a REALITY TV STAR , but tonight , they’re just another reveler in the crowd . when they wrote down their new year’s resolution , they wished for A NUMBER ONE PODCAST RATING & A HEALED HEART FREE OF ANY PENT UP ANGER OR RESENTMENT . funny enough , they had also mentioned how they hoped to forget about the time that they REDACTED . for what it’s worth , i truly hope they can put the old year past them . [ cindy kimberly , cis woman , ‘our favorite love island ship has sank : break-up rumors confirmed by sofia romero during latest podcast episode’ ]

* / ✩ / .. 𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙭𝙖 , 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺'𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘯 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘩 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘴 . . .

hello friends ! sorry for the late intro , i was napping 😌 but i’m very happy to be here & i look forward to writing with each & every one of you <3 i’m lia ( she / her ), twenty years old , & vibing in the cst . this is my brand new girlie , sofia . under the cut is a ( hopefully ) brief summary + some listed wanted connections . but if you wanna dive deeper , i’ll leave you with her full bio & stats page in the google doc , her pinterest borad , & a lil wanted connections sideblog i threw together for inspo . feel free to hmu for plots any time via im’s or discord dm’s ! <3

          𝗚𝗢𝗢𝗚𝗟𝗘 𝗗𝗢𝗖  +  𝗣𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧  +  𝗪𝗖 𝗜𝗡𝗦𝗣𝗢

*+.. 𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗜𝗖 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗦 ↴

𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄: sofia anisa romero 𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄(𝐒): sof 𝐃𝐎𝐁: 15 june 1998 𝐀𝐆𝐄: twenty-two 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑: cis woman 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒: she / her 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: bisexual biromantic 𝐙𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐂: gemini sun, pisces moon, capricorn asc 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄: staten island, ny 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐍: staten island, ny 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄: new york city, ny 𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: reality star / influencer with a podcast akin to “call her daddy” called hot stuff 𝐄𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐋: graduated high school, went to parson’s school of design for a BFA in fine arts but never completed her degree

*+.. 𝘽𝙄𝙊𝙂𝙍𝘼𝙋𝙃𝙔 𝙎𝙐𝙈𝙈𝘼𝙍𝙔 ↴

youngest daughter to high-profile lawyer, victor romero ( think og rob kardashian ) and plastic surgeon to the rich and famous, irene romero. her sister, isabella, is an a-famed journalist and new york time’s best selling author. and sofia is... well the family disappointment

her parents are rather cold and calculating people that didn’t exactly create a welcoming environment for creativity and self-expression in their home. and sofia pretty much broke every single expectation they had for her, leaving them without any idea on how to properly parent her. so she grew up rather independent and distant from her family

her one true passion is art-- particularly painting. hanging out in her school’s art room was her favorite thing in the world. most of her middle and high school years were spent competing in art competitions and earning awards for her work. by the end of her high school career, she had a promising future as an artist with an acceptance to a good arts school in the city secure

but creating art at a collegiate level among other future professionals was a lot different than high school UIL competitions. sofia struggled with feeling less talented and capable than her peers which hurt her self-esteem and put a damper on her dreams. it was at this low point during her junior year in college that an opportunity of a lifetime was presented to her

she was approached by one of the producers of love island usa with a casting opportunity. going on a reality tv show was honestly never something that sofia saw herself doing. but she figured she didn’t have much else to lose ?? and it could be fun ?? so basically she said YOLO and auditioned for the show, resulting in her being cast as a season 1 islander babyyyy

long story short: love island was fun as hell. she did in fact find love, was a fan favorite, and won the whole damn show. she and her boyfriend moved in together shortly after becoming $100,000 richer. and you would think that a couple strong enough to win love island would be together forever, right? HA

it basically ended up in disaster for sofia with her finding out he cheated on her and had her out here looking STUPID. she was truly heartbroken considering they had been in the talks of engagement. but what can ya do?

she’s done many different side jobs in hopes of staying relevant in the media but her most successful endeavor so far is her podcast. it’s basically the “call her daddy” podcast where she shares stories about love, sex, relationships, and hook-up culture in nyc. it can get very raunchy and she’s definitely exposed herself more than anyone probably should ??? but it’s fun and it keeps her name in the headlines

safe to say her parents only had to hear one episode of the podcast to decide that they were beyond disappointed in her. they’re on the brink of disowning her at this point, which would sever what little connection she has to her family + make her lose access to her trust fund. but she’s trying not to stress about it since she makes her own money now

*+.. 𝙒𝘼𝙉𝙏𝙀𝘿 𝘾𝙊𝙉𝙉𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉𝙎 ↴

pls if anyone is down, give me a co-host for her podcast. they could just be two best friends sharing stories of their crazy lives & wildest hook-up experiences. i’d love to see it

i think it could be interesting if she had an ex that she was dating before going on love island. like imagine if she broke up with them to go on the show ??? and they hadn’t talked since but they had to watch her move on, publicly on tv. and frankly, it could be karma that her relationship from that show ended badly. idk there’s just potential drama there and the chance for her ex before the show to laugh in her face, which is deserved probs

on the platonic side of things: pls gimme best friends, maybe a roommate, party buddies, good influence, bad influence, childhood friends, confidant, adventure buddies, family friends

on the romantic side of things: other exes on good terms or bad terms, current friends with benefits, past hook-up that she may or may not have talked about on the podcast ( either fondly or derogatory ), tinder matches, enemies with benefits, crush, will they / won’t they

other fun ideas could be: enemies, rivals, someone she’s had as a guest on the podcast, frenemies, friends of friends that haven’t had the chance to bond on their own but they always run into each other, neighbors, they know each other from social media and they hype each other’s instagram selfies or whatever but haven’t met in person yet, ex-friends, pr enemies that actually get along really great in person but are always beefing on social media for the clout

[temixart]

Why don't you wanna go shopping today :o ?

So last night i was out getting groceries with my husband and from the moment i came into the store this dude was high key following me around creepy as fuck for thirty or forty minutes.

It was pretty obvious he wasn’t shopping,

he was there when we came in, standing by the entrance with two things in his basket. I go over to the bread aisle, he shifts into the bread aisle and stops like three feet away from me. Facing me but pretending not to stare at me, glancing around conspicuously whenever i looked at him. I thought at first he was trying to squeeze past me or something because the aisle was crowded with this family, so i sidled flat against the wall to make room for him to pass me and he just stands there. The family eventually turns around and backs out to go down another aisle,  and I look at him and wait for him to pass and he keeps staring at this soup display like it’s interesting or something, and i realize he’s not trying to get by and he must be waiting for something so i go ahead and browse the bread for a while. and it’s just that conspicuous silence of two people alone in an otherwise empty aisle trying to pretend not to notice each other.

My husband drew calls me a few times from the chocolate aisle, because he can’t make up his mind or something, and i wander around the corner and help him and go back to the bread aisle because i was having trouble finding what i wanted. Dudes still standing there, he’s watching me as i come around the corner, then pretends to look at the soup display again.

A few other families squeeze through the aisle and he doesn’t move, i wnder past him and he’s staring at me with this oddly concentrated expression. I go around another corner to the Deli section, and i wait for Drew to finish with the chocolate because he’s got the grocery list and as drew finally comes walking over the guy comes strolling around the corner too, staying just out of Drew’s line of sight, very clearly watching me out of the corner of his eye.

He circles around us, stops his cart a few feet away (facing us) and pretends to be looking at something else. I wait while Drew is looking through different fat percentages of his favorite yogurt. I'm starting to get creeped out at this point because I mean... Usually, if a guy is eyeing me at a store he'll approach or speak to me at some point. Or if they see Drew they'll bug off. And he's doing neither

And I'm running through scenarios in my head like 'maybe he's a plainclothes security?' but no he looked too young and just did not have that inconspicuous look they usually have. Plainclothes security is still usually pretty easy to spot so what is this guy doing- maybe I'm just being paranoid and drew is asking me what kind of vegetables we should get and I just walk away

Mind you, Drew is deaf in one ear and has auditory cognition issues where if there's low chatter or elevator music I have to be just about yelling for him to comprehend me against the background noise, and the Guy is close enough that he'd hear me more clearly than drew would if I did 

Sooooo I just walked into a different aisle a couple rows away. One that's quieter. Drew follows me. I wait a minute or two while Drew talks about veggies and I'm watching to see if this guy pops up or if I'm paranoid. Thinking about this Twitter thread I read the other day by a girl who was nearly trafficked at a fucking trader Joe's

But things seem clear so I shrugged it off as paranoia and went with Drew to look at produce. We get to produce, on the opposite end of the store, and literally within Seconds the Guy rounds the far corner and comes looking through the crowd. Sees me. And starts casually but briskly strolling through the section adjacent to us. This area is so crowded i can’t maneuver my way quickly out of it to go to a different aisle, so i was stuck there for a few minutes. Enough time to notice he’s still got the same two cans of soda or whatever in his basket. And long enough to see him circle past us three times. Never out of line of sight long at all. I try smiling at this Guy to let him know i see him (since he’s always facing me and usually when you just coincidentally bump into a stranger over and over again in a grocery store you can kind of chuckle it off together) and instead of smiling/shaking his head/laughing/acknowledging me, he pretends he can’t see me. Doesn’t look away. Just pretends he’s looking right through me. Im starting to panic at this point. I've been seeing and hearing all sorts of shit in black femme spaces about how women have been having these insane near kidnapping incidents, and girls going missing in record numbers for the past three or four months. I'm going over all of it in my head, thinking 'if this guy is scouting women then he's got to have at least one partner nearby, who would it be? What would they look like? How many of them would there be? Why is the presence of drew not enough to scare this dude off? What should I be doing right now?' And Drew's like 'Don’t they have any lemons here that aren't organic?!'

And I realize even though this guy is Super obvious to me drew is oblivious and this dude keeps swinging in and pausing close enough to hear me if I try to say anything to Drew so I still can't tell my husband I'm getting fucking scared

So instead i say ‘I don’t know, but i’m going over to the makeup aisle’ because i’m thinking that’s the one aisle this dude would be too conspicuous in to follow me down and i’ll have a second to think and calm down. And I go over to this section of bougie ass organic cold pressed non gmo makeup health essential oils and powders and i’m the only one in this big ass aisle and it’s literally SECONDS before this Guy pulls around the corner and starts strolling hunched over down the aisle opposite me.

.

[muckrakerhq]

PRESENTING … FONDUE FOR TWO, EVERY TUESDAY, HOSTED BY JOEY HUMMEL-ANDERSON.

featuring… this week’s guests, @ivystjamess & @lincolnonline

fondue for two is a weekly internet talk show hosted by joey hummel-anderson. fondue for two, joey, and the muckraker team strive to get all the steaming gossip while he interviews guests of his choice over a steaming pot of cheese.

[Joey's room - once again, Joey sits across from his guests, but this time it's Ivy St. James and Lincoln Clarington-Smythe; Gil the Fish is in the same spot]

JOEY: Hi everyone! Today's guests are very special, since I have here with me McKinley's biggest bitches, Ivy St. James and the new kid that is already more popular than Fiona Beckett, Lincoln Clarington-Smythe! Do you guys feel honored to be here, on what is the greatest internet show of all time?

LINK: A title I am more than proud to share. I can also say with complete confidence that the bar for internet shows is so low that I can't dispute that this one may just be the best.

IVY: okay, winnie is totally a bigger bitch than me but i'm like happy to be here before her anyway. even if it's with the new boy.

JOEY: Okay, you guys could smile a little more though, this is the internet after all. Moving on to the first question, a fan actually sent this one and it's for Ivy! Ivy, is it true that you got Danny Zuko because, just like your mom, you have what people call "man hands"?

IVY: oh my god that's like so. . . mean? i dont have man hands and neither does my mom! but if the people like really wanna know, i have my dad's hands. mine look like the exact same as his, even when we used to do jazz hands in our family dance routines they were the exact same down to like every flutter of the finger.

JOEY: I wasn't the one who sent this in, so you can blame someone named LucyQ99, because she was the one who sent it. Moving on from the story about Ivy's hands that no one asked for, the next question is for Link! Is it true that you got kicked out of Dalton because you were caught having sex with someone on the stairs and not because of a list?

LINK: Unfortunately, no, there's been a mix up in stories. I was actually caught having sex with someone on the stairs last year and I lied and said I was helping him check for STD's because 'he was too scared to see the nurse.' The list thing was totes the reason and it was unjust so please email and call your local council and accuse Dalton of homophobia, that would mean a lot to me.

JOEY: You heard it here first, I will leave the phone number and email down below because Dalton is homophobic... Anyways, next question is for both of you, who is the second hottest guy at McKinley? I'm number one, obviously.

IVY: ugh that's like so totally easy, Joey! Everyone knows it's--

IVY: actually you know what? i bet link is like SO totally unbiased from personal experience with these guys. 

IVY: link, who do you like think is hottest?

LINK: Uh...okay, well, in all honesty, the bar in on the fucking floor. And as much as I know you hate to admit it, I'm gonna say Leo because he gives me big Jack Skellington vibes if Halloweentown had a film school and I'm really into that, ya'know. Also maybe Theo but only when I admire him from afar, I don't need to hear him talk, it ruins it for me.

IVY: oh my god.

IVY: PLEASE say you're joking like right now. 

IVY: leo? like? mccarthy?

LINK: Yeah, and? I like the angst of it all!

JOEY: Wait, Ivy you didn't answer, and I'm not even going to comment on that, Link... This is the last time you'll be on my show.

IVY: i dated leo for like eight months! so not cool! the angst like totally isn't worth it. and from personal experience? you're like definitely better off with theo.

IVY: joey i didn't answer because there's like. . . not even a second behind you. maybe a close fifth though. . . yeah!

LINK: Listen, I'm not gonna try anything with Leo, I respect his heterosexuality! I'm allowed to admire from my bubble of him being my manic pixie dream film bro! And stop avoiding Joey's questions, you're dodging and weaving that shit. You may be McKinley's lil' actress ingenue, but you're not a good liar.

IVY: i am like . . . an incredible liar!

JOEY: Okay, that's enough talking about Leo in my room, you guys are bumming out my whole area... I liked Ivy's answer, moving on! How do you guys feel about the musical?

IVY: thank you! anyhow, i'm gonna like totally make everyone forget who john travolta even is. duh. ever thought you could cry to a rendition of sandy? no? well just like wait until you hear mine.

LINK: I'm hype. I really don't care about musicals but I was born to play Rizzo, it just makes sense. I'm gonna steal the show and Ivy and....uh...no, no, I'll get it....Jonathan? Jason?......Anyways, Ivy and the Schuester guy playing Sandy, well I'm sure they'll be great too. I've never been too pure to be pink, that's for sure.

IVY: Julien. 

IVY: but yea like im sure you'll make a good Rizzo. that's a compliment I don't give lightly.

JOEY: Good! I can't wait until everyone else in rehearsal to not fit in the room because of your giant egos. And I do know what ego means, I learned that word recently. Okay, between you two, who's more talented? The people want to know.

LINK: Yeah, him. Big hair. I'll get to know him when I have to bully him on stage. And let's look at the facts; I can sing, I can act, I can dance, I can write and direct, I can and have arranged multiple Cupcakke songs into acapella versions, I can work industry standard special effects equipment, I can give you splits and dips and I dress like Sharpay Evans. Make your own conclusions on who's more talented.

IVY: Listen, everyone thinks I'm like kind of a bitch, but the fact of the matter is I'm not just a bitch. I'm a talented bitch. And if acknowledging my ability makes me a bitch then like . . . whatever! Link's stuff is impressive but at the end of the day, I managed to be successful in the arts and like a totally hot and popular cheerio at Mckinley. It's no easy feat juggling both. So like . . . the proof is in the pudding or whatever.

JOEY: There's pudding? I want pudding... Well, I guess it's up to everyone else to decide, please leave a comment and say who you think is more talented! Right, next question is a serious one - do you guys think Gil looks okay? He looks tired, right?

LINK: I mean, yeah, why lie, this fish is probably moments away from the sweet, salty grips of a literal watery grave. But, hey, I'm no fish expert maybe he just needs to pop a Zoloft.

IVY: Ew, morbid. Maybe he just needs to like nap!

JOEY: I think he'll be fine. He hasn't been the same since I found out he's a secret slumlord... [turns to the bowl] The way you treat those families is really mean and they don't deserve that, but I think there's still good in you... Right, since I like to end it on a positive note, the two of you have to say something nice about each other!

IVY: Even though he's kind of delusional about who's gonna be the Grease show stopper, for someone who came from like a private school, Link does dress nice!

LINK: Why, thank you. You are very pretty and I get what the hype is about. You have a nice face and from what I can tell you have talent and when I get famous and if you weren't straight, I'd totally consider you for a part as the Final Girl in one of my movies. I try not to work with hets, it's not personal, I promise.

IVY: i see 

IVY: but just so you know, i have like two gay grandpas and i'm jewish so like when I'm inevitably the best and only option you can pull that info for the sake of being diverse

JOEY: Right, that was kind of nice! Last question of the show, did you guys have fun here? And if you say no, you're not allowed in my house anymore.

IVY: i'd never be banned from your house but yea this was like super fun!

LINK: It was a blast. I should point out though that this fondue cheese kinda tastes like, um....pure garbage. But I can look past that.

JOEY: Anyways, thanks for watching everyone and I'll see you next week for another Fondue for Two!

 [The End]

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 62

Thank you, everyone, for bearing with me on the delays for this chapter.  There was a benefit: @satan-parisienne got to beta the chapter, AND our other sister got caught up all the way in the meantime.

Right now, I’m at 463 followers.  As soon as I hit 500, do we want to do another character contest, or Name the Colony??  I am honestly dying to have all of you name the Colony... I feel like it would make you ALL crew-members of the Ark!

Same warning as always: this is a plague arc, so there are several references to medical procedures.

“There has to be a correlation.”

It was the first thing I heard as I woke up from yet another episode of passing out.  Once again, I had been wandering a dream version of the Ark, complete with ever changing levels of dereliction.  No matter how hard I tried, I was unable to speak with the Else again, however, and if the Council asked anyone else to even try, no one had informed me.

Blearily, I glanced toward the voice that I had heard.  Grey’s hair was ruffled in every direction, as though they had run their hands through it repeatedly.  Antoine was asleep, a tube trailing away from a bandage on his arm – I wasn’t the only one in the room needing transfusions anymore.  Maverick and Conor were berthed on either side of me, blotches taunting me from the skin around their eyes.  Tears pricked at my eyes as I tried to steady my breath before speaking. “How long have you been at it, Grey?”

With a sigh they turned toward me, forcing a kind smile on their face. “Sophia. How are you feeling?”

“Like I’m living in a horror movie. Again,” I groaned. “But seriously. Are the shadows because you’ve been working too much, or are you sick, too?”

“Medical scans only show slightly decreased iron levels from my baseline,” Grey admitted. “But that could also be related to standing and running tests for the last twelve hours.”

I tapped the space beside me in my berth. “Sit down for a minute. Take a break. You know as well as I do that wearing yourself out is counterproductive.” With great reluctance, they folded themselves to sit beside me. “You’re stressed out, aren’t you?” I asked, tapping their fingers gently.

The smile this time was reluctant but genuine. “People are falling ill all over the ship.  I have been trying to find a connection – some common activity that they all may have come into contact with each other during.”

“There’s the Food Festival,” I pointed out.

“Very few Terran viruses have such a long gestation period,” Grey explained. “And those that do, have a much different set of symptoms.  Additionally, in a setting this small, there are precious the majority of the ship do not share.”

“And you have the problem with the platforms,” I realized ruefully before glancing at my partners.

Cool fingers tapped my cheek. “That issue can wait,” Grey admonished gently. “It is not as important as the health of the people on this ship.”

“Speaking of…” I tried to prop myself up on my elbows, but a pointed look from my friend – as effective as any of Tyche’s glares – had me surrendering to leaning back on the pillows again. “Is there anyone on the ship who isn’t sick so far?”

Grey nodded with a grimace. “The number of those not affected numbers in the low double digits, unfortunately.”

“What do they have in common?”

“Hermits, every last one,” a voice announced quietly as the door hissed open. “And that’s saying something, coming from me.”  A tantalizing smell wafted over, setting my mouth and eyes watering as Tyche grinned like the cat who got the cream.  She shoved a forkful of something deep reddish brown into her mouth and moaned. “Phaal curry with scotch bonnets. Why didn’t you tell me about this stuff, Soph?”

“Noah is going to kill you if he comes in here,” I warned. “They have officially deemed that a biohazard.”

Grey winced. “I feel I should deem that a biohazard.  How are you eating that? Where did you even find it?”

“Four menus deep in my sister’s food console when I stopped in to water the plants,” she explained around yet another mouthful. “I warned Noah I have it, and they promised to wait for the scrubbers to clear the room before they come in here.”

“Give me a bite and I won’t complain,” I wheedled.  Noah never let me take that stuff out of my quarters.  “And tell me what you mean by hermits?”

Obligingly, she sauntered over and held out a forkful of nuclear-spicy lamb as she clarified. “The few people who aren’t sick are the ones who haven’t left their quarters since arriving.  They make me and Derek look downright outgoing.”

“Wait,” I sputtered as sweat beaded and started to drip from my quickly-numbing face. “They haven’t left their quarters in over a year?”

“Nope,” she confirmed. “They contribute, but all of it is remotely.  Programming, online tutoring, that sort of thing.”

“Well, that tells us a great deal of nothing,” I sighed. “We can’t even narrow down what activities they haven’t participated in, because they haven’t participated in any.”

“So go the other route,” she shrugged. “Who is the most sick?”

“Nixe,” Grey and I answered in unison.  Our resident mermaid was still holding on, but she hadn’t regained consciousness yet.

“Wait,” I interjected as I realized something. I squinted at my sister. “Your symptoms showed up before Antoine’s. How come you’re up, bouncing around?”

“You kidding?” she cocked an eyebrow at me. “Soph. I’ve lived most of my life with sever anemia. Even now I probably have more in my body than I ever did back on Earth. I feel amazing, by comparison.”

“She also has a habitually high-iron diet,” Grey added, tilting their head and glancing at me. “Current comestibles notwithstanding.”

“That makes sense,” I conceded. “So we can’t even build a timeline around onset of symptoms, can we?”

“Negative.  Several people on the ship have high-iron diets for various reasons. Particularly your sister and Maverick.”

I rolled my head to left and squinted. “Really?  He’s one of the pickiest eaters I know.”

“Spinach, tofu, red meat,” they started ticking off on their fingers. “Lentils and other legumes, pumpkin seeds, broccoli, and organ meats are among the foods with the highest iron content.”

My eyes widened. “You practically listed Maverick’s entire diet, Grey.”

“I am well aware.  I do monitor his nutrition closely, as he still has to prove he has consumed sufficient healthy calories in order to start his daily shift.”

“Huh,” I grunted. “So, he could have been sick the longest and we are just now seeing it?”

“While I highly doubt it, your theory is somewhat correct.”

“Weh di’ oo geh ‘im oo ee ohgah mee?” Tyche asked delicately around the last of her curry.

“Conor likes kidney pie, black pudding, and liver with onions,” I explained, trying not to wince at my sister’s breathtaking lack of manners and reminding myself that she just found out she can eat food she only dreamed of trying in the past.

She gulped, a look of revulsion on her face. “Liver and onions? That’s disgusting.”

As Grey completely lost their composure and gaped openly at the statement, I shrugged and soldiered on. “Not my idea of a good time, either, but they like it, so it’s their bonding time.”

“Surely not all three at once?”

“Christ, no. I would kill them if they ate kidney pie without me.”

“Okay, just checking.”  Tyche made her way to a disposal and made Noah aware that the curry had vacated the premises.

By this point, Grey was absentmindedly scratching at the rash that appeared from simply being near the dish.  “Can one of you explain to me how someone even eats something like that?  My eyes are burning just from being near food that spicy?”

“Ask her,” Tyche gestured. “I’m still figuring this out.”

I scowled at being put on the spot before turning to our friend. “I’ve always loved spicy food,” I admitted. “And I’ve never had any digestive issues with it. As I got older, I tried spicier and spicier food. It’s all so – vibrant. So full of flavor. Sure, you have some stuff that is just spicy for the sake of being painful, and I hate that kind of food. It’s just hate and spite made into food. No one should do that.” I sighed, struggling with my words. “Most spicy foods are ethnic foods, and I always liked being able to enjoy the ‘full’ version, for lack of a better term.  Being able to go to any country and say ‘I want to eat this the way you eat it,’ and mean that.  It just opens so many doors.”

“And it isn’t just spicy food,” Tyche pitched in. “She found this old show once, where this guy went around the world and tried weird native foods, and that was always her dream.  Every chance she got to travel like that, she tried the weirdest, most disgusting foods she could, just because she knew she wouldn’t get sick.”

“What was the worst?” Grey asked.  When we looked at each other in doubt, they laughed quietly. “It helps me get my mind off of all this.” They waved vaguely at the lab equipment. “So, tell me.  I never got to travel much before this.  I would like to hear.”

“Well,” I started hesitantly. “I only managed to choke down one bite of balut, but that may be more squeamish heart than squeamish stomach. Anything involving hard fat or cartilage is just right out, sorry.  I can’t get past the texture.  Once I got past the smell, durian was actually pretty good.  Most bugs are really nutty and delicious, surprisingly.  Balut was probably the one I liked the least. But – “ I held up my hands in a defensive posture. “I literally don’t remember what it tasted like, I couldn’t get my mind past the thought of what I was eating, so take that for what you will.”

Grey paled slightly as they looked the dish up on their datapad. “People eat that?”

Tyche nodded. “Yep. ��I don’t get it either, but it’s a delicacy.”

They paled further as they looked up other dishes and confirmed I had tried them. “How did you not get ill?”

“Cast iron stomach,” Tyche and I explained, laughing at ourselves for responding in synch.

“Cast iron stomach, indeed,” they murmured.  Suddenly, their head snapped up.  They stared intently at the wall behind me before squinting slightly. “Cast iron…”

Without explanation, Grey jumped up from my berth, brushing past my sister on their way to the lab equipment. “Iron.  Whatever we are looking for is impacting iron absorption and red blood cell function. – “ Tyche and I looked at each other in confusion as Grey continued their impression of a rambling mad-scientist. “But nutritive iron does have elemental iron as part of the molecule…” Images flickered around the researcher as they scanned through notes and images; expanding this one, discarding that one, squinting at a few. “What if we are segregating the two for no reason… bacteria are bacteria, and the tail failed, too.”

The tail failed? Tyche mouthed at me. I shrugged, lost as she was.  We stared on in concern as Grey muttered, only half-audibly, into the night.

<< Prev  Masterlist  Next >>

[exhoe-imagines]

the green room → jww

summary → watching wonwoo’s twitch streams had always been something you’d enjoyed, but never in a million years did you think you’d run into him so casually at his daytime job

word count → ~2k

genre/warnings → gamer/streamer!au, florist!au, gn!reader who is oblivious to flowers and their meanings, random overwatch references that i had to guess on bc im clueless djfkdsjfsd

a/n → SO @gamerwoo did not think i could attack her,, hence this fic was born !! i pray it will wound her the way i am hoping for !! also any references to overwatch were made from the content i see about it on her blog/faq so thank u rocket for unknowingly educating a dumb bitch like me 😪

“Anyway, I’ll see you guys tomorrow at the same time.” The boy smiled into his webcam, giving a shy wave to the screen. His brown eyes were hidden behind his round glasses, but they did little to cover up the flustered blush that covered his cheeks. It was obvious, as usual, that ending a stream proved to be difficult for him -- the awkward void of noise from his game commentary or the sound effects coming from his computer speakers leaving him in uncomfortable silence as he said goodbye.

You giggled softly as the stream turned black, before his offline screen popped up, displaying his social media and schedule links in a thin blue font. There was no need to click on them, at least for you, since you’d memorized his handles and stream times months prior.

To call you a fan of gamerwoo_96’s twitch would have been a bit of an understatement, one could say. You were quite picky with who you spent your free time watching, especially when it came to hour long streams. Besides Wonwoo, which was his real name, only a few other lucky gamers had you regularly on their accounts -- notably, yutodagames and pcy92, but your casual viewing on their channel was nothing compared to your dedication to Wonwoo.

There was something about how natural he was at playing, that you and his other couple hundred regular followers greatly appreciated. He didn’t seem dedicated to becoming big on Twitch, even showing signs of embarrassment when a large number of people tuned in for his streams. However, no one, not even himself, could deny his channel grew rather quickly.

You’d stumbled across his account one Saturday while looking for Overwatch players, and you’d been hooked ever since. He wasn’t as loud or annoying as other guys his age on Twitch, but he wasn’t too quiet either, where it made it uncomfortable. He commented on things every now and then but stayed focused and would go silent every few moments. It was a nice balance, allowing you to concentrate on the gameplay, but also get to hear his thoughts, and very deep voice whenever he voiced his opinion on something.

Of course, you’d be lying if you didn’t say his looks kept you on his channel as well. He was cute, that much was obvious. His loose white shirts and tousled hair always gave him a laidback look, that contradicted the focus he’d put into his gameplay. Wonwoo’s nose would scrunch, his eyes squinting behind his gold glasses. It was downright adorable, and completely uncalled for considering he was already the prettiest gamer boy you’d ever seen.

Months later, you were still tuning in for his morning Saturday stream -- a perfect way to start your weekend if anyone asked you.

You clicked out of Twitch and closed your laptop before rolling on your back, letting out a deep sigh as you sunk into your bed. You had a list of errands to run, but you’d been putting them off, deeming Wonwoo’s stream more important. However, now that it ended, you had no excuse for putting off your tasks.

Begrudgingly, you got out of bed a few minutes later, trudging to your bathroom to get ready.

Mentally, you’d already planned your schedule for the day. Grocery shopping and getting gas were first, then gift shopping, and lastly, meeting your friend later in the afternoon to celebrate her birthday.

As expected, the first two errands were nothing special, and you got them done rather quickly. However, the next one was not as simple. Your friend had always loved flowers, and you wanted to get her a big bouquet when you greeted her. The only problem was, florists in your area were rare, which meant you had to drive out of town to find one.

“Thank god I don’t have any cold groceries,” you mumbled, before setting off on your detour.

When you finally pulled up to The Green Room, you were pleased with what you saw. It certainly seemed worth the drive, beautiful baskets and arrays of flowers decorating the outside of the small white shop.

Making sure you had your keys, wallet, and phone on you, you made your way to the entrance, noticing it seemed to be empty from your view through the large windows. Shrugging it off, you pushed the door open, a little bell sounding your arrival.

“Good morning,” a smooth voice from behind the counter greeted you. For a second, a slight feeling of recognition passed through you, and when you turned to face the cashier, you understood why.

Wonwoo stood there, a white apron tied around his waist, and a polite smile on his lips. Your eyes widened and your voice was caught in your throat, something he noticed quickly.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” he asked, probably viewing your silence as confusion.

You had to be seeing things.

You shook your head quickly, squeaking out a response. “I-I don’t think so.”

Wonwoo nodded, looking back down at the book on the counter he had open. It was almost finished, and you swooned internally.

A bookworm too? you thought, how perfect is this boy?

Not wanting to stare too long, you scurried towards the back of the shop, trying to make yourself look busy as you racked your brain for an explanation as to why Wonwoo was running the one flower shop by your house. He’d never mentioned where he lived or where he worked, obviously, but never in your life did you imagine that out of everywhere in the world, he was a mere hour from your apartment complex.

What kind of fucking coincidence is this? you screamed internally, barely paying attention to the flowers as you passed them. Speaking of, you couldn’t wait to tell your friend -- she’d gotten sick of hearing you fangirl over your “little gamer boy” as she liked to call him. She was truly in for a treat now, as you’d probably never stop talking about the fact that you met him.

There was nothing you wanted more than to go back up to the counter and talk to him, but you had to get the flowers you’d come for.

The only problem was, you had no idea what to buy.

Your friend had told you all her favorite flowers, but there were so many, and with the thought of Wonwoo at the front of your mind, there was no way you were going to be able to remember them all, let alone know what they looked like.

Letting out a sigh, you decided to pick out a few flowers that looked pretty, and would maybe look nice together. It was the best you could do, and you only hoped your friend would appreciate the effort.

Sadly, it must have been pretty easy to spot how clueless you were, since, after a few minutes of picking different flowers, footsteps sounded near you.

“Who are you shopping for?” Wonwoo asked, as he stood next to you. His proximity and the natural warmth radiating off his form had you stuck in place, unable to escape.

“M-my friend.”

He hummed. “Special occasion?”

You nodded. “Her birthday.”

At that, Wonwoo visibly held back a wince. His eyes darted to the flowers in your hands before he looked back at you. “Maybe white lilies wouldn’t be the best choice then.” His voice was reserved, like he was worried about criticizing your choice. “They’re usually meant for funerals,” he awkwardly explained, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Oh god,” you groaned, “I really have no idea what I’m doing here.”

Wonwoo chuckled at that, visibly loosening up at your response. “It’s alright, it’s more common than you think.” He held out his hand, sending you a smile. “I can go put those back if you want me to help you make a new bunch.”

You let out a sigh of relief. “That’d be great, thank you.”

Wonwoo nodded, taking the flowers from your hand, his fingers long and warm as they brushed against your palm.

Hearing him ramble about flower types a few moments later was one of the greatest things your ears had ever been blessed with. You’d always liked his voice, but hearing him explain the different flowers and their meanings was the most you’d ever heard him talk at once, and it was amazing. Clearly, the shop was a huge passion of his, which you thought fit his personality perfectly.

“A couple of these alstroemerias, for friendship. Some yellow and orange gerberas too, maybe.” He was clearly mumbling to himself by then, plucking different flowers from around the shop and fitting them between each other. His skill was visible immediately, the bouquet effortlessly beautiful as he crafted it without a second thought.

By the time he was done, you were in awe. He sent you a sheepish smile as he led you back to the front counter, setting the flowers down as he moved behind the cash register.

“Thank you so much,” you said, pulling out your wallet as he told you the price. It seemed unusually low, compared to the price tags plastered across the store. You brushed it off, assuming a sale was happening or something.

“You’re really good at this,” you mentioned, as you picked up the bouquet, careful not to mess up all his work. “I wouldn’t have expected that.” You said the words before you could catch yourself, eyes widening as you looked up at Wonwoo.

His eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

You internally cursed yourself. There was no going back now. “I um, I’m used to seeing you on Twitch.”

You waited for the awkward response that would make you feel like a creep, but Wonwoo just smiled bashfully. “Really? I’ve never had someone recognize me, besides some friends and family, of course.”

You looked at him slightly in shock. “Are you serious? I watch your streams all the time,” you admitted, feeling some heat spread to your cheeks.

“What’s your username?” he asked curiously.

You told him, expecting he would just nod, but instead his eyes widened in recognition.

“You have the D.Va icon right?”

You tried not to openly gape, but the shock was too strong. Wonwoo, your favorite streamer, remembered you?

“Y-yeah I do.”

He smiled, glad he’d recognized you correctly.

“Well, maybe I’ll see you at the next stream then?” his tone was hopeful, and you nodded almost immediately.

“Of course.”

He nodded, and his usual awkwardness when it came to saying goodbye became apparent.

“Here um, take this, on me.” He grabbed a flower from one of the baskets behind the counter, and handed it to you with a blush.

You took it, mirroring his flustered expression. “T-thank you.” You smiled shyly before picking up your bouquet and waving him goodbye with your free hand. He tilted his head in response, and you quickly left the shop before he could notice how hard you were crushing on him.

You were able to hold back your scream of excitement until you made it to your car, when you slammed your hands against the steering wheel with a squeal.

However, nothing compared to your excitement when your friend noticed the flower Wonwoo gave you, a knowing smirk spreading across her face.

“Wonwoo gave you that?” she asked, grin growing as you nodded. “Did he tell you the meaning?”

You shook your head, and her expression brightened.

“Well,” she sing-songed, “if that ranunculus means what I think it does, it seems like a certain gamer boy finds you very attractive.”