#// cody covers up his anxiety

[battlekilt]

Ahsoka "Anyone but Anakin" Tano

Rexwalker humor—

After she discovers the relationship between Rex and Anakin, Ahsoka lets Rex know just how she feels.

"Anakin, really? Rex, I'm disappointed."

Rex tried not to wince; that hurt. "What's wrong with him—"

She opened her mouth.

"—Don't answer that."

He ignored her utterance of, "We'd be here all week."

And he glared at the addition, "All month," Cody barely got in under his breath. Impressively, he kept his focus on the tactical readout, which Rex thought he was too focused on to pay attention to Ahsoka's reaction.

The Captain sighed, adjusted his helmet, and dared to ask, "Why disappointed?"

"Rex, you could have had ANYONE else but him."

Without thinking, he grumbled, "Doubt it." Which earned him several cast looks his way of incredulity and exasperation. Even Commander Cody looked away from the comfort of his topographic rendering of the city they were about to storm.

Someone said, "Rex, you fool." It might have been the Marshal Commander, who was already looking once again at the holoprojection.

Besides the point that he didn't want anyone else, Rex's curiosity won out, "Oh, like who?"

Hands on hips, Ahsoka said without hesitation, "Master Obi-Wan."

Cody's head was raised so fast it might have gotten a crick in his neck, "Not if the bastard wants to live." The implication was heavy in his tone: 'Not my vod'ika.'

Obi-Wan, who had somehow managed to ignore the exchange, even his suggestion, looked at his Commander with pinched brows, "Cody, that's mutiny. You'll be executed!"

"That's a risk I'm willing to take." Cody had made clear that over the years he had begun to construct a creative list of ways to dispose the bodies of obnoxious Jedi Generals who flirted too much, didn't wear their armor, and overall tested the patience of their Marshal Commanders.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes, but stayed out of their dramatics. Cody and Obi-Wan were always entertaining, particularly when Kenobi got in the mood to irritate his Commander further and see how far he could push the man without testing the creative disposal list.

"Master Secura," She blurted out.

Rex... actually contemplated it. "She's... one of General Skywalker's crèche... uh... vod'e, right?" Keep expectations low: he's a Clone, Jedi nonsense still confused him as much as the dead-language of Gree's beloved extinct races. "Would that... make him uncomfortable?"

"It isn't about him. It is about you doing better."

Cody, ever helpful and suggestive in his own right, offered a rare stamp of approval, "Commander Bly wouldn't mind."

Obi-Wan looked at the reports on their up-coming battle, "I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

Under his breath, the Commander muttered, "I knew your hearing was going, you old man."

While Obi-Wan glared playfully and fondly, an expression ignored by its target: Cody, Ahsoka tossed out another name, "Vos!"

"Annoying General Kenobi is more Cody—"

"Don't you dare. While I'll go for lunch to dig up dirt on General Kenobi... no. Just... No."

Obi-Wan carefully handed Ahsoka a datapad. Which, when looked at, revealed to be the current roster of active Jedi Knights.

Rex wished he hadn't peaked.

Looking far too eager to help, Ahsoka thanked him.

Anakin came up out of no-where, and stood somewhere behind Rex's right pauldron. "What's going on?"

"Cody's contemplating my murder... again." "I'm always doing that."

Rex answered, "Ahsoka is going through the whole roster of Jedi Knights to suggest alternative... partners of interest than yourself."

Anakin blinked, then looked at his Padawan, "Are you starting with just the Knights or Masters?"

"I was just going to go in alphabetical order."

"Might want to narrow down the ages."

Cody's deep voice pointed out, "There are no twelve-year-old Knights."

Once more, he was ignored, "Aaijcolt, Afarbet?"

"Ahsoka."

"No, you're right—I don't think that many tentacles would be your thing... and the ability to share an oxygen-rich environment might be important..."

"Commander!!"

Obi-Wan had come to peer over her shoulder to take a sneak peek at the next offerings, "Oh, that's a nice one. It's always rather charming with me. We've had tea a few times," after a thought, "Well, I had tea. It... ate their algae. But still, It has always been a good companion, and Its translator's voice is rather soothing."

Together, Anakin and Rex cried out, "Obi-Wan!" and "General Kenobi!"

"Onto the next—"

[heauxvibez]

Gentle

warning: angst, mentions of depression/anxiety, fluff. Enjoy!

It had been days since Joe lost his match. It meant he could finally be home, taking a break from the WWE's busy schedule. You were thrilled to have him home, just the two of you for a while. Joe was excited too, or so he thought.

He released a huge sigh of relief when he was told prematurely about the outcome of his match with Cody. He loved work but also missed being home with you, and the flexibility to do what he wanted without having to make huge shifts around his work schedule. The guilt that constantly ate at him for missing milestones in your life would finally be put to ease. Your promotion at your job, your birthday, buying your first brand new car with your hard-earned money, all things he missed out on celebrating due to his work.

But as time went by, you noticed a change in him. His energy shifted dramatically. He became quieter, answering with short sentences and avoiding conversations. He barely ate, only managing to do so when taking his medication.

You had to decline many invitations because he wasn't up for crowds; they made him anxious. The bedroom became his refuge, all he wanted to do was lay in bed and rot. It was starting to worry you.

Joe himself didn't understand what was happening. He wanted to shake off this feeling, but it clung to him stubbornly. It was like he'd forgotten his place in life, his roles as your husband, friend, and son. He felt worthless. As the Tribal Chief he knew everything, life was in his control, he was in control. Nothing could phase him when he was his alternative self. His bronze skin was as thick as ever.

But as Joe, he was vulnerable and soft, his hands could barely grasp the concept of life outside of the arena. He believed that he'd let everyone down by missing important moments, especially you. Despite your support and pride in him, he couldn't shake the feeling of being resented. His anxiety whispered that you all hated him, leading him to isolate himself in the room. He thought that by avoiding interaction, he'd be less of a burden.

You were left in the dark, unsure of what was happening with him. You didn't want to jump to conclusions, but you couldn't ignore the signs of either depression or anxiety. It was a delicate situation; you didn't want to say or ask the wrong thing and risk pushing him away. You were at a loss for how to approach him without causing further distress.

"Babe..", you called out as you cracked open the door. Your head peaked in to reveal him bundled under the sheets.

"Hmm?" he hummed back, avoiding looking in your direction.

The room matched his mood—dark and cold. You approached him cautiously, arms crossed before quickly relaxing them, not wanting to convey that you were mad or upset in any way. Squatting beside the bed, you met his gaze. His hair was tousled, covering his face like cobwebs, his eyes red, lips downturned. He looked miserable.

He almost melted at the feel of your fingers feathering through the knots of his tangled beard. He hadn't groomed himself in days, so he looked a mess. But to you he still looked like perfection, just needed a little love. You searched his face, to him it felt like judgment, but for you...you were just looking for any sign of your loving husband.

"You okay?"

That question alone almost unraveled him. His eyes shut tightly, becoming a dam for the flood of tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. He covered his face with his hand when he could no longer contain the wave of emotions. He shook his head, answering your question.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry", you pleaded. You didn't know what to expect. You thought it would take a while to break through his tough exterior.

Not wanting to overwhelm him, you hadn't moved. You stayed squatted in your position, stroking the side of his face that wasn't covered by his huge hand.

"Talk to me, baby. I can't help if I don't know what's wrong," your voice, soft and gentle, began to ease the tension. It seemed to pull him back from the brink of a panic attack.

"Breathe, just talk," you urged. He took a deep breath, his exhale brushing against your face. His hand fell away from his face, revealing tear-streaked cheeks and watery eyes. You met his gaze, your own eyes welling up with empathy. You fought back your tears, wanting him to feel safe expressing himself.

Joe tried to speak but faltered, closing his lips and shaking his head. He was at a loss for words, unsure of how to begin.

You let out a gentle sigh as you brushed his greasy hair away from his face. He hadn't bothered to wash it in days, neglecting self-care. As your fingers ran through his strands, an idea dawned on you. With a small smile, you met his sad eyes.

"It's been a while since you washed your hair, huh?" you remarked.

He nodded, still focused on you.

"How about we have a little wash day? I just got some new hair care stuff," you suggested.

There was a moment of silence as he considered it. He didn't want to leave the safety of the room, but he was also bothered by his oily, limp hair.

"Yeah, that sounds nice," he replied softly.

"Yeah? Let's go," you said, standing up and offering your hand. He slowly rose from the bed, taking your hand and letting you lead him to the kitchen.

Since childhood, your family had always washed hair in the kitchen sink. Moms, aunts, and cousins would have you lay flat on the counter, and it was always your favorite part of hair care, like a special ritual.

Your hair care routine had evolved. With the right products and tools, you felt like a pro, especially during tasks like washing your hair. Now, wash days were more enjoyable, and you loved washing your husband's hair too. It was a favorite bonding activity.

"Okay, lay down on the counter," you instructed.

One perk was your spacious kitchen, allowing you to recreate the wash days you cherished from childhood. He hopped onto the counter, and a bit of excitement gleamed through his eyes. It had been a while since you shared an intimate moment like this. With his travels and recent struggles, there had been little room for such simple things.

You stepped away briefly to fetch your hair care items. Your favorite line was created by Taraji P. Henson, who understood the needs of tight coils like yours. Today, you opted for the Honey Fresh clarifying shampoo to remove oils from his locs and the Make It Rain conditioner for moisture.

Returning to the kitchen, you laid out the items on the sink: shampoo, conditioner, Denman brush, wide-tooth comb, and a shower cap—everything needed to care for his hair.

You couldn't help but watch as he lay with his eyes closed, fingers intertwined on his belly. Though he didn't show it, he was eager for this wash day, just like you.

Turning on the sink, you tested the water temperature with your fingers, ensuring it was just right for his scalp.

"Okay, let me know if it's too hot or cold." you instructed. With his eyes still closed he nodded.

The water hit his scalp and you watched as his brows furrowed then relaxed.

"Is that okay?", he nodded once again,

"That's perfect."

The warm water felt like a soothing touch on his scalp, the best sensation he'd felt in days.

"Good," you smiled, running your fingers through his hair. It took a moment for the water to penetrate his hair, the oils causing it to bead off into the sink. The touch of your nails on the back of his neck sent shivers down his spine as you worked the water through his hair.

"Alright," you murmured to yourself as his hair drank in the flowing water. With a twist, you shut off the tap, the room now silent. You placed the detachable head back in its place, and your fingers found the shampoo bottle, releasing a dollop into your hand. With a soft sigh, you worked the dollop into a nice lather with your palms.

You started at his hairline, the pads of your fingers tenderly grazing his scalp. Purposefully avoiding using your acrylic nails, your touch was feather-light. You wanted to cocoon him in bliss and make sure that he was as relaxed as possible.

Your fingers trailed to the hair behind his ears, a familiar path that never failed to make him weak. His ears, his sweet spot, where the slightest touch made his toes curl. Each time your wrist brushed against his ear, he moaned softly, bringing a slight blush to your cheeks.

"Feel good?" the soft words left your lips.

"Feels great." he confessed with a contented sigh.

His response brought warmth to your heart as you continued your movements, moving towards the center of his scalp where he was often tender-headed. With gentle strokes, you massaged the area, mindful of his comfort. In this moment, you found joy in this simple act of caring for your husband.

Though you wanted to get into deeper conversations about his well-being, you hesitated, not wanting to disrupt the peace of the moment. Instead, you chose to stay silent, allowing your gentle touch to speak volumes. But Joe had other ideas.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled

"Don't be, you haven't done anything wrong," you assured. Although you knew what he meant. He felt remorseful for acting distant and pushing everyone away, but you knew it wasn't his fault. He was grappling with emotions beyond his control, and you gave him space to work through them.

"But I have, I haven't been the best husband lately. Well really in the past few years if we're going to be honest."

"Joe-"

"No, listen.." his eyes were flooding with tears again.

"I have not been the best husband in years. I thought with this time off I'd be able to make up for lost time but the more I sit with myself, I'm wondering am I capable of being a good husband? I don't even know who I am outside of Roman Reigns."

Tears were now flowing freely down the side of his eyes and into his hair. For the past 4 years, he had been an alternative version of himself. He completely immersed himself into a character and with the time he had to actually sit with himself, he realized he wasn't really sure who Joe was.

Tears were now rolling down your face. It hurt to see him doubt himself like this. You knew who he was—Joe and Roman were completely different. It was hard to believe he couldn't see it; he was struggling with imposter syndrome.

You wiped your tears away with your wrist, trying to steady yourself. You needed him to know that you didn't share his negative feelings about himself.

"Well, your feelings are valid, baby, and I never want you to feel otherwise. But just because they're valid doesn't mean they're right."

You rinsed the shampoo out of his hair with the detachable head of the sink.

"You might not see the difference between Roman and Joe, but I do. I'm not in love with Roman; I'm in love with Joe. I didn't marry Roman; I married Joe. Roman is manipulative, selfish, cold-hearted—wicked, even," you chuckled softly. Joe wiped away his tears, mirroring your laughter.

You began to wring the excess water from his hair. It was finally clean. Now, you just needed to condition and detangle.

You reached for the condition and squeezed a quarter-sized amount into your hand. Then you gently spread it through his clean hair.

"But Joe.. Joe is sweet, he's vulnerable, and he would give the shirt off of his back to anyone in need. We all love Joe and we understand that just because you're away it doesn't mean you're neglectful, you're doing what you have to do to support your family. Joe is a husband, he's a son, he's a family man, he's a sweetheart, he's you."

Using the Denman brush, you carefully distributed the conditioner and untangled his hair, avoiding any painful pulls.

"You are not Roman, you are Joe. Do you understand?", you asked, pausing to catch his gaze. He kept staring ahead.

"Look at me," you said softly, but firmly. His eyes met yours, resembling those of a puppy.

"Do you understand?"

His lips curved into a soft smile and he nodded.

"Yes, I understand, baby," he affirmed. Leaning in, you tenderly brushed your lips against his forehead, savoring the warmth of his skin beneath yours. Then, with a gentle passion, you pressed your lips to his, sparking a feeling that had been dormant for too long.

As you pulled away, you couldn't help but shower him with one last sweet kiss on the tip of his nose before getting back to his hair.

"I know it's going to take time for you to adjust, and I understand it won't be easy. But I want you to know, I'll be here every step of the way. I promise," your voice was filled with unwavering support.

Carefully, you lifted his head to secure the shower cap, ensuring his hair received the deep conditioning treatment it deserved for the next 10 minutes.

"Thank you, for everything...I love you," he whispered, his words carrying deep gratitude and love.

"I love you too, handsome," you said, your heart brimming with excitement as you anticipated having your husband return to his true self.

---------------------------

Hope yall enjoyed!

Tags: @harmshake @southerngirl41 @spritelucozade @empressdede @alichesmi @msbigredmachine @blacst4r @sassginamillls @wrestlingprincess80 @saintmagx @theninthwonder

[ninyard]

Heyy! You said someone should ask you about Kevin under this post about Kevin's struggles from the nest of which we don't know enough... So I'm asking you about Kevin! Please tell us your Kevin thoughts! You always make very good points and I like reading your thoughts!!

cody my friend I am so glad you asked but you might regret it. i hope you're prepared from an unorganised huge convoluted MESS of a ramble

i've been thinking for a few days about this one like... what would a kevin POV look like? what is he hiding? how does he cope? WHO IS HE?

the kevin we ""know"" is a "coward", an insufferable bitch, an asshole and a hardass. other people's opinions and view of him makes up the entirety of our impression of who he is. but that's not who he is. that's just who we're supposed to believe he is.

kevin, born and bred to have this... borderline psychopathic lack of empathy, who can look his teammates in the eye after being told seth is dead or andrew is being committed and say, "what about the game?"

but when the raven's are switching districts; his sense of danger and fear is paralysing. he's three steps ahead trying to figure out how to please riko, how to keep himself safe, willing to put himself back into the centre of his abuse just to stop riko from finding him and killing him. he has to get blackout drunk to deal with any amount of riko. he's frozen with fear by being in the same room as him.

kevin knows where jean's mind and body goes to when hes panicking, knowing his worst place is right back in the nest being drowned by riko. kevin telling neil "do you know what he'll do to you?" and "he'll break you" when neil asks for his ticket. kevin's text to him before he goes into the nest, and staring at neil like he'd seen a ghost when neil returns after the nest (when he looks like the butcher). his comforting "i know what he's like" or "i know how he sees you, i know it means he did not hold back,".

kevin nervous breakdown panic attack day vs kevin smile for the cameras one track exy mind day

im so intrigued by him. how does he cope? his mother is dead, probably killed by the mafia family he was raised by. he grew up into a cult, he was only a child watching neil's father cut a man into pieces in front of him. how many other's had he seen?

how many other injuries cover his body, in places where the cameras can't see? how many rapes and assaults was he forced to watch in the nest? how many beatings was he forced to participate in? what did he have to say to jean in french that he didn't want riko to hear?

he needs someone with him all the time because of the nest. he's a "health freak" because of the nest. his sleep schedule, his anger, his anxiety.

did he say "what about the season?" re: andrew after drake because he doesn't care, or did he think "i've seen this happen too many times. and they've always kept playing,"? did he think "andrew is the strongest person i know. andrew is stronger than me. he would never let this destroy him," knowing that it has?

nobody has protected him in his life apart from the cameras and andrew.

he's scared. he doesn't know what love is supposed to look like.

he's only been a human for a year.

his scars are healing for the first time in his life and they're not being replaced by new ones, but every day he's afraid that that's going to get ripped out from underneath him. his entire life already got flipped upside down when he left the nest. of course exy is the only thing he "cares" about.

because it's the only thing that's been certain in his life, and even for those few weeks or months where he thought he would never play again, he trained and trained, and learned how to use his non-dominant hand because he can't lose this. he can't lose exy like he's lost everything else.

kevin has never had anything stable in his life except for violence and exy. now he has people he's supposed to care about, and he has to change his priorities. he has to learn how live a life that isn't fueled by self-preservation for the first time ever.

jean was only in the nest for five years; and look at him. look at what the nest has done to his social skills, his view of himself, his self esteem. look at what it's done to him, how he expects violence and contrition, coach and always waiting and waiting and waiting for the punishment to come.

kevin might not have had the same level of physical abuse that jean had, but he was there far longer. the ravens existed before him; their mindset and their abuse and their violence and their poison.

he's been drinking the raven poison since his childhood. the only difference between him and jean other than those things above is that kevin had more pressure to hide it, because he was half of the face of the ravens, half of the face of Exy; media trained or PR trained or a master at being a fraud and faking the way he speaks when he's being recorded.

kevin knows how to hide his abuse because he has always had to, and he's had quite a lot of practice at it.

kevin has only been a human for a year. kevin has only been kevin for a year.

so who is he? does he even know?

or is he just Kevin Day, Raven Fox starting striker, number two, six foot two, left handed right handed left handed, heavy racquet, stick size five? is that all he will ever see himself as?

anyways. or something like that. maybe he is just an insufferable bitch for no reason at all. who knows!

[superkickme]

Title: Beautiful Disaster: The Legacy Era & The Dashing Era Reality Show/Kayfabe AU Art: Legacy Era: nsfw cropped version here | extra nsfw uncropped version here Rating: M Pairings: Randy Orton/Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase Jr/Cody Rhodes, John Cena/Cody Rhodes, Drew McIntyre/Cody Rhodes, Mentions of Past Shawn Spears/Cody Rhodes, Mentions of Past Triple H/Randy Orton Tags: not rpf, meet ugly, hurt/comfort, kayfabe compliant, angst, character study, alternate universe - reality show, kayfabe as reality, canon companion, emotional slow burn, soulmates, domestic fluff, masturbation, phone sex, power dynamics, self-discovery, anal sex, unprotected sex, everyone needs a hug, everyone is trying their best, eventual happy ending Warnings: unhealthy relationships, emotional manipulation, canon-typical violence, discussion of intimate partner/domestic violence, infidelity (kind of), drunk sex, sexual dysfunction, unhealthy sex, self confidence issues, negative self-image, anxiety attacks Chapters: Legacy Era: 23/23 | Dashing Era: 1/? Current Word Count: Legacy Era: 152k | Dashing Era: 5k

"Wrestling is a love story” - Cody Rhodes, Apr 2, 2022

Cody tries so hard to do a good job and be a good wrestler, to climb up the ladder to the top of that mountain but he can never gain a good footing. When he does get some traction it never lasts and he just falls right back down to the bottom. He’s never good enough and it tears him apart. Throughout his whole life, everyone said he was made for this business, born to do it, a Prince destined for a King’s throne- it’s all he’s ever wanted to do. He just keeps trying and failing over and over to make everyone proud, to live up to their expectations, he does it for nearly a decade and he gives it everything he has. It’s just not enough.

Or: A canon based exploration of Cody Rhodes' character through his life and career, and the relationships he has.

[this will eventually cover different relationships in Cody's life with people like Drew McIntyre, Damien Sandow, and Seth Rollins, with a special focus on Cody/Randy and Cody/Seth, but we'll see where the story goes after WrestleMania 40 ♡]

[bun-ika]

The absence of so many brothers was glaringly obvious during the jaunt off the hellish planet Umbara had turned out to be. Tups mind had not stopped running in circles since Krell hit the deck, Dogma's terrified gaze meeting his own over the mans fallen body. *"I had to!-"* the intrusion of his brothers vouce replayed, too loud in his head over the voices that surrounded him. All familliar, and yet *wrong...* Face falling under the cover of his newly painted, not quite as shiny bucket, Tup resigned himself to the horrible feeling of dread that sunk in under his skin. Even with bothers squished together beside them, vibrances bumping along the grabrail, Tup has never felt more alone.

Somewhere in his head, Tup knows any of their brothers, even captian Rex, Commander Cody himself, could die at any given time. It's what they were made for. What he was made for. Somehow, knowing Dogma isn't dead, but snatched up by the Coruscant to be brought back to Kamino where his fate is already decided... it's much, much worse.

His head hurts. His heart hurts. There's a burning inside his chest that spreads, grows like wildfire when the memory knife digs away at memories of his best friend. Maya had called it "anxiety." Dogma had paled at he word while she explained. Clones are not supposed to have *anxiety.* Ever thoughtful and several steps ahead, the nurse reached out to give Dogma's hand a squeeze. *"I would never tell a soul. Just remember, you boys are as human and real as the rest of us. Existing in this life is bound to come with those feelings, but we can manage them."* Tup had felt his own smouldering fire spark as he watched his brothers expression, blank and creased with his concern of the situation. Finally he nodded very slightly, glancing at tup with a slight tug of his lips. *"Thank you."*

That flicker of a smile was the last time Tup had seen the rarity on Dogmas face. Reality came rushing back, hitting hard asthe ship jolted in its journey, beginning to slow its decent.

Blinking as he processed the memory he had gotten lost in, the young man found another blessing inside his bucket, cheeks wet, salt on his tongue.

His head hurts.

Everything hurts.

In his numbmess, taking stock of himself, Tup isn't sure he will ever not hurt again.

Everything is broken.

[sev-on-kamino]

*DJ Khaled voice* Another One

I assured my dears @dukeoftheblackstar and @clonemedickix there would be a little bit of In Pieces on the docket today, and I wanted to do the teeny tiniest sneak peek of my Halloween Fic for @anxiouspineapple99 awesome event, so this one’s a two-piece snack 😌

As always this is an 18+ space, so minors DNI pls & thanks!

In Pieces

Cody had your arms held tightly behind your back in one of his large hands, his legs keeping yours open, giving the others the perfect view of him rubbing languid circles on your clit, as his cock filled your pussy. Your head rested on his shoulder, as your body was brought right to the threshold of another orgasm.

“Doesn’t she look pretty like this?” He asked, pressing a gentle kiss to your jaw.

“She’s beautiful,” Rex said softly, his cock stiffening again, eager to be inside of you once more.

Once again you felt a warm rush of pride at their praise. And despite being so full of Cody you could cry, you wanted, needed Rex too. You needed to please him again, needed to feel that firm, yet gentle authority he wielded over you.

“I want Rex, please,” you begged without needing to be prompted. “Need him too, Cody, please.”

Rex nearly came right then and there, hearing you beg for him, even while Cody was buried inside of you.

Cody was impressed. They’d given that command at the beginning of the night, but you’d needed no reminding to beg for what you wanted.

“Maker, you’re perfect. So obedient. Can you take my cum like a good girl?”

“Yes, Commander,” you replied, eyes focused on Rex.

“Perfect. Then I’ll give you to Rex, ok?”

“No,” you whined, as your body brushed up against the edge of bliss again. “I want you both…at the same time…”

—————

Overwatch (this excerpt is sfw)

You stood in the middle of your living room, arms wrapped tightly around yourself, as though you could squeeze the anxiety out of your body. You’d watched Thorn’s team sweep your apartment for bugs, explosives, while Thire’s team had canvassed the area, checking for anything amiss, anything that indicated you weren’t safe.

“Isn’t this technically a misuse of resources?” You asked with a nervous chuckle.

One of Thorn’s men snorted, as he carefully shifted your sculptures around.

“Not if Fox says it’s not,” Thorn said with a smug grin. “Besides, we’re all technically off-duty. Just doing this for a friend.”

Your heart clenched, and you shifted your weight, simultaneously touched and embarrassed they’d gone to so much trouble for you. All because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. All because you’d made yourself an enemy.

“We’re clear,” Flicker announced, flashing a grin at you, as he approached Thorn. “I’ll post civs on alternating floors, rotating every 15 minutes, and I’ve got the sight lines covered.”

You didn’t understand much of their jargon, but it sounded like you were getting that security detail whether the DA wanted you to have it or not.

“You won’t get in trouble?” You asked, squeezing yourself again.

“Let me worry about that, ok?” Thorn said, no hint of his usual playfulness. “You will be safe. I promise.”

You nodded, swallowing past the lump in your throat, as the red and white clad troopers prepared to leave. Your apartment felt too big, too dark, and foreign. Like you didn’t belong there anymore.

Thorn watched you with concern in his amber eyes. “Will you be ok on your own?”

“If I say no, will you stay?”

“Yeah,” he replied, surprising himself. “As long as you need.”

***

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[lazywolfwiccan]

This Is Our World

Derek Hale is Superman. But honestly that's less important to him than being a husband and father

@atiny-angel @axelwolf8109 @ozzypawsbone-princeofbarkness @greek-freak101 @taechnology777 @epickiya722 @lynspumpkinpatch @sterekmpreg @wolfiered23 @thebejeweledwatercat @jackiequick

The first thing Derek remembers is his cousin Allison holding him. Not his parents, not her's. Just Allison.

That was on the planet Krypton, weeks before it would be attacked and Allison was sent to save him and take her cousin to Earth to raise and protect him. But Allison was knocked off course from him, sending her to the deep reaches of space.

He landed near a house in Smallville, the Hales, they took him in. Talia Hale cared for him as if he was her own.

He was six when Talia took him to the basement and showed the pod that he came to Earth in and told him about his heritage. Cora cried that she wanted to be an alien. Laura had told her that was insensitive

He was thirteen when Talia had a heart attack and died. His uncle Peter reluctantly took him and his sisters in.

He was sixteen when he flew for the first time, found the Fortress of Solitude, his father Jor-El talked to him.

He was twenty when he became Superman. He, Laura and Cora moved to Metropolis. He got a job at the Daily Planet and met Stiles Stilinski.

Stiles was no nonsense reporter and honestly terrifying but it made Derek crush on him more.

He made the first move, asking Stiles if he wanted to see a movie. Stiles said yes.

Two years later Derek told him he was Superman. Another month later he proposed. Stiles said yes again and Derek flew them above to kiss him.

Their wedding was small but no less full of love. Noah Stilinski didn't approve but kept his mouth shut. Peter didn't show up at all.

They adopted twins boys named Jackson and Scott. Derek didn't want to have a surrogate so a biological child didn't have the burden of his powers.

Jackson was the outgoing child, Stiles said that he was born craving attention. Scott had asthma and anxiety dissociative disorder. But that didn't mean Derek and Stiles didn't love him.

Eli came five years after, Laura called about a baby that had been left at the hospital, Derek said yes without even asking Stiles.

Superman felt like Derek's secret identity, he wanted to with his family but saving the world constantly took him away.

He and Stiles agreed to never tell their sons about him, even if it strained everything

-------

Derek pulled Stiles into his arms. "I missed you baby" He muttered. Stiles hummed and hugged back.

"Eli is already in bed, Jackson is talking to his newest girlfriend and Scott is mad because you missed family therapy again" He pulled away and grabbed his phone to make calls.

Derek sighed, sometimes being Superman was easier than being a father of teen boys.

Eli was sleeping soundly, Derek kissed his head before leaving. Jackson had his door locked but Derek knew from his superhearing that nothing too bad was going on.

Scott had his tv volume turned all the way up and he was playing a WWE game. "Hey Scotty" Derek said softly. "Hey Dad" Scott paused his game and turned around in his chair.

"I'm sorry I didn't go to our therapy today-" "I know, you were covering the nuclear plant thing, Papa told me"

Derek smiled gratefully that his husband covered for him so fast. "As much as I love to hear Cody Rhodes' theme song over and over again, can you turn that down a bit"

Scott chuckled. "Sure dad" Derek hugged him from behind. "I love you, y'know that right?" "Of course I do" Scott muttered.

Derek pulled away and ruffled his hair

"Dad!" "I'm going I'm going!" Stiles was sitting in bed, furiously typing away. Derek changed into his sleep clothes and laid down. "Scott's mad. He's just hiding it"

"If he knew you could be heartbeats" Stiles cracked a smile. Derek laughed and grabbed his hand, kissing it.

"Come on bed" He pulled him into his arms. Stiles rested his head on Derek's chest. Right over his heart. And fell asleep.

[a-random-pillow]

Still (Running) (Waiting) (Looking)

Pairing(s): Cody Rhodes/Roman Reigns and Cody Rhodes/Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins, (Past) Cody Rhodes/Randy Orton, (Past) Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins

Word Count: 3000+

Tags/Warning: Soulmates AU, Minor Non-Con

Rating: Gen - Teen

Summary:

Roman loves his soulmates, always has and always would come hell or high water.

Cody doesn’t believe in soulmates, especially after meeting his own.

But after The Rock’s attack on Cody leaves him vulnerable Roman finds out a well-kept and very important secret.

"You're still out here?" asks Roman as he stares down at The American Nightmare still sprawled out bloody and wet on the pavement outside his bus. He watches the American Nightmare with contempt as Cody’s body shivers and spasms occasionally; face scrunched in an ugly expression with pain.

Roman nudges Cody with his foot causing his unfocused blue eyes to blink open and up at him behind long blond lashes darkened with rain and blood. The so-called Nightmare stares up at Roman incomprehensibly for a moment before his eyebrows knit together and his mouth opens slowly as if it is a struggle to speak,

"R-roman?" He croaks like he isn't sure it's really The Champion standing over him in the pouring rain.

"Dwayne really did a number on you, huh" States Roman, watching Cody with distian.

He could leave Cody out here, and see if any of his 'friends' come to save him. Let Cody figure out the hard way that there is no such thing as 'friends' for top guys like them. While he would like to see the hope drain from Cody's eyes and he would love to see Cody broken by those he thought he could trust; Roman has another plan for tonight. He would give Cody one last warning, one last chance to back down.

Roman leans down and hoists Cody to his feet. He manages to maneuver one of Cody's arms over Roman's shoulders, making it easier to drag the slightly smaller man around. Cody hisses as he is jostled eyes squeezing shut for a moment before he stabilizes himself. Despite their rivalry, Roman acknowledges that Cody has incredible pain tolerance and stamina, which makes him a tough opponent but nothing Roman can't handle.

"What are you doing?" asks Cody, his voice horse but eyes seeming a bit more lucid.

Roman turns to stare Cody down, feeling the familiar storm of emotions that swirl within him everything Cody is around. Jealousy, hatred, sadness, pride, fear, manic excitement and anxiety. He is filled with electricity, it's nearly painful but it's one of the most exhilarating things he's ever felt. He doesn’t know why or how Cody brings out these feelings, maybe it has something to do with their family history but it doesn’t really matter.

"Helping you, blondie," Says Roman condescendingly.

"I'm not even blond" Mutters Cody, focusing on the wrong part of the sentence, clearly he wasn't as lucid as Roman thought. Would he even remember this?

Roman hassles open the door to Cody's bus before dragging the two of them to the warm and dry interiors. Cody barely struggles against him which surprises Roman, he pauses and wonders if he should actually be dragging Cody over to medical for a moment but Cody fought in a cell with a torn pec, he can survive this.

Cody's bus is nice, Roman expected nothing less from the guy who seemed to only be capable of wearing suits. Everything was organized and labelled, a towel and sleepwear laid out on the covers of his made bed just down the hall and a plate of snacks was covered on the kitchen counter waiting for Cody's return. Roman scoffs, smiling at Cody before saying patronizing.

"Cute Place"

Cody fixes him with an exhausted glare before bitting out,

"I'm not asking for decor or styling advice from the guy who only has one pair of pants"

Roman tuts and asks

"Is that really how you are going to treat the man who just dragged your sorry ass out of the rain?"

Roman drops Cody onto one of the white chairs surrounding the dining table with no care, and even gets a small bit of satisfaction when Cody lets out a pained grunt after his side collides with the table.

Roman steps back and takes in the sight of Cody, a bloody spopping wet mess, clothes ripped and falling off him, bleached hair tinted pink with blood and his usually calculating blue eyes hazy and unfocused.

"You look like shit," Says Roman in a pleased tone,

Roman opens his mouth to to continue speaking, to tear into Cody, to try to break him and convince him to give up on his stupid story when he notices a strange mark or tattoo beginning to appear on Cody's right shoulder. Roman shuts his mouth, his eyes transfixed by the marks, mind pausing at the sudden realization that those marks might be a soulmark. Out of pure curiosity, he takes a moment to step forward and run a finger through the blood, foundation and water slowly dripping down Cody's shoulder and arm.

The familiar feeling of the high intensity of the foundation that all superstars use to hide their soul marks causes him to pause. He wasn't aware that Cody had any soulmates, not that he had really thought about it.

Most people met their soulmates by the time they were twenty-five and almost everyone on the roaster had settled down with their other haft or hafts in some cases.

Roman had been blessed with two soulmates, two people in this world meant to make him whole, two people who would love him and stand by him no matter what… well should have.

Seth was one of his other hafts and the bastard had used Roman for everything he was worth before betraying and ruining their lives in spectacular fashion. Roman had trusted him completely, had given him everything he even hinted at wanting but apparently that wasn't enough. He wasn't enough. Despite Seth's repeated betrayals Roman still loved him, he wanted him every moment they were apart and he always felt most alive whenever he was around. Roman still wanted to work things out with Seth, even if they would never completely trust each other again.

Seth and Roman had supposedly met their other soulmate at a party when they were young and still in NXT but the only things they had to show from that encounter was completed soul marks and no memory of the previous night. It had been a massive post-summer-slam bash with lots of drinking, people and dancing. Roman didn't remember much of the party but what he did remember was waking up with a bitch of a hangover and seeing his soul mark complete but no other soulmate, still just him and Seth.

Roman had honestly lost hope of ever meeting their mysterious third, if they had wanted to find them they would have. Roman made no secret of his soulmark, doing all but posting a picture of it and Seth had an equal interest in finding their final piece both before and after he imploded the Shield. It was an insidious ache in his heart and would always strike at the most inconvenient times, a part of him that would never be complete, forever empty but Roman could live with that pain. He just hoped their third was safe and happy because Roman would always love them come hell or high water.

But in the moment Roman felt a familiar pull, like everything inside of him was being magnetically dragged forward, it was unpleasant, nearly painful and all too familiar. His finger feels like it's covered in pines and needles as it tenderly rubs at one of the dark lines. He feels all the stress and tension within him ease for a moment. Then Roman feels his heart drop and all the breath leaves his lungs, pieces suddenly coming together to form a picture he can't bear to see. He prayed within a single shallow breath that he was wrong, because Roman doesn't know what he'd do if he is right.

Roman digs his hands into the little remaining shirt on Cody's body, he begins to pull Cody's shirt off,

"What are you doing!" Demands Cody with panic in his voice, attempting to wriggle out of Roman's hold with sudden ferocity.

Fact: Cody was also at the party where he and Seth both 'met' their third.

Roman holds on to Cody's arm desperately, a crazed hope burning him from the inside out as he uses his free hand to ruffly remove the blood and foundation covering his shoulder turning the skin red with the force.

Fact: Cody Rhodes has never mentioned soulmates or even hinted at his soulmarks.

Roman scrubbed at the skin forbily removing the foundation revelling daming colours and all too familiar shapes. His heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest, he felt like he was about to laugh, scream and cry at once.

Fact: Cody Rhodes was and maybe still is dating Randy Orton a man who regularly and proudly declares the fact he was born without any soulmates and that he still is happy.

There it is, there they are. Roman stares horror and fear churning in his guts as he stares at the soulmark they share.

Three birds fly around an eclipse, one an ‘Io(A hype of hawk native to Hawaii) with unnatural black-and-red colouring, a second crow whose wings held every colour of the rainbow and finally a golden eagle that was the colour of fresh snow with eyes bluer than the ocean.

Roman ran his hand along the soul mark, allowing himself to be completely submerged in the feelings of warmth and connection in that moment. Cody was competently still except for a slight tremble throughout his whole body. There was no denying it, on top of that he wouldn't want to deny it, Cody Rhodes was his soulmate.

A switch flipped in his mind, and all of his hatred and wrath melted away, leaving only an overwhelming flood of love and anger. Suddenly all of the annoying despicable things about Cody seem rather minuscule and even endearing.

Roman grabs Cody and wraps him in his arms holding him desperately, the blood and rain doesn’t matter, all that matters is the fact that he has his soulmates. The feeling of Cody leaning forward in his arms nearly leaves him breathless. Cody is shaking like a leaf in a hurricane, muttering something incomprehensible under his breath as their rapid and erratic heartbeats somehow fall in perfect synch.

The overwhelming joy he feels is momentarily taken over by the sudden realization that Cody knew they were soulmates… this whole time. They didn't keep it a secret that Seth and Roman were looking for their third, hell they let everyone see their marks. Cody had seen and he didn't say a thing. Cody had been willing to let them walk around with half a soul.

Roman lets his nails dig into Cody's back, attempting to communicate to Cody even a fraction of the pain he's felt without this him as Roman demands in a whisper

"What were you thinking? Why the hell didn't you tell me? Us?"

Cody tries to pull away but Roman refuses to let him, keeping Cody close. He doesn't really expect him to answer not yet, but Cody needs to know Roman won't tolerate bullshit like that. Cody belongs to Roman and Seth and they belong to him in return, but for some godforsaken reason, Cody seemed to have missed the memo.

"R-Roman" Whisper Cody brokenly, still attempting to push out of Roman's hold.

Roman only holds him tighter, refusing to budge even as Cody gasps for air. Hearing Cody speak his name makes his heart twist with an emotion that fills him with quite joy, it's darker, angrier he takes a moment to bask in the feeling.

Roman isn't sure what his next move is, he has to reevaluate everything. Cody is no longer the enemy, in fact, he needs to be protected and cared for. Seth needs to be informed of the situation and then dealt with accordingly… unless he already knows and has been keeping this information from Roman too which would be perfectly on brand.

Roman had let Seth go, that was a mistake. Roman won't let Cody leave him. They aren't getting any younger and maybe if they had been younger Roman might have compromised but Cody had already wasted their lives and Roman wanted some semblance of the Happily Ever After he deserved.

The smell of blood breaks him out of his thoughts, reminding him that Cody was still injured, still bleeding.

"let's get you cleaned up" says Roman softly but without guilt.

Roman picks up Cody, holding him close to his chest and running a hand through his hair. Tears are silently streaming down Cody's face and his eyes flick around the bus like he's trapped. Roman tries to soothe him, but Cody seems completely out of sorts.

"I-I can't… you have to leave"

"That won't be happening, Cody" Roman soothes, nuzzling Cody like he's some sort of discontent puppy.

Cody looks up at him imploringly, eyes sparkling with tears and a deep-seated fear but that isn't nearly enough to sway Roman off his path.

"I-I don't I-I never wanted t-this"

Cody's bathroom is clean everything clearly has a particular place from the expensive lotions to the generic bubble bath. Roman places Cody on the toilet and grabs the large well-stocked first aid kit under the sink, noticing that almost all the products have been used, at least a little.

"I-I don't I-I never wanted t-this" Sobs Cody caught mently between running, fighting or just curling in on himself.

"You are my soulmate, you were made for this, you were made for me" Roman reassures as he digs out the bandages and disinfectant.

Cody attempts to stand, his legs wobbling underneath him while his eyes all but glow with fear. Cody takes an unstable step forward, preparing to try and push Roman out of the bathroom but he stumbles and he surely would have fallen if Roman didn't step forward and catch him.

Cody stills for a moment frozen in place before his body relaxes completely, practically turning to jelly in Roman's arms

"You hate me" Begs Cody, voice uncertain and broken as he leans into Roman, all the fight drained from him.

"I hated who I thought you were" Whispers Roman into Cody's ear as he runs a hand through his soulmate's hair soothingly.

Roman's skin feels electric where he and Cody are touching, it's amazing and it takes his breath away. Roman has lived with a soulmate before, he knows these feelings well but Cody, this is probably his first time really being close with a soulmate. It must be so overwhelming for him.

The pleasure that comes from being around your soulmates is unmatched, it's addicting and when Roman first met Seth it was practically impossible to tear them apart. To the point, it was a detriment to their training. After a few weeks, they were able to part but Roman still craved his presence every moment they were apart. Even now he wanted Seth because somehow Cody and Seth’s presences were completely different. His soulmates created and filled completely different voids within him, he didn’t understand it but he wanted to.

Roman does wonder why he didn't feel this buzz before when he was with Cody in the ring or just near each other backstage… could Cody somehow reject the bond? It doesn't matter now, he has Cody and Cody has him.

"Let's get cleaned up," Says Roman calmly putting his thoughts aside to focus on caring for his injured soulmate.

Cody nods against his shoulder, finally giving in as he lets Roman care for him.

Cody doesn't speak or do much of anything for the rest of the night, just staring off blankly and letting Roman do whatever he pleases. It's worrying and Roman genuinely wonders if he should call a doctor. But Cody shows no other signs of a concussion and seems to just be in a state of shock. So Roman cleans him up, dresses his wounds, and helps him into some clean sleepwear before crawling into Cody's bed with him. They're soulmates Cody wouldn't say no.

Roman hasn't slept in the same bed as his soulmate for years, he forgot how good it felt to be whole. To be so comfortable with someone he is made perfectly to fit you in every way.

Before he forgets he texts The Bloodline to tell them what happened and to meet him and Cody outside tomorrow. He doesn't wait to see the inevitable chaos in the group chat, instead, he focuses on the man in his arms.

Cody isn't shaking anymore but his eyes are far off and he isn't falling asleep.

"You have to sleep, we have a lot to do tomorrow" Roman whispers soothingly

There is a long beat of silence where Cody doesn't so much as breath before asking

"why?"

"hm?"

"we're enemies, i'm not going to stop until i finish my story. you don't love me. why are you here?"

"Cody, of course, I love you are my soulmate"

"You were happy to let Dwayne beat me up not even two hours ago, you can't love me"

"I've been in love with my soulmates since I was a child, I've always loved you even when we didn't know it. Now stop trying to convince yourself out of a good thing."

"This isn't a good thing, it's not real"

"You feel it too, it's very real"

Cody's breath quickens in pace as he sits up in bed looking at Roman like he's a monster.

"I need to leave," Says Cody attempting to climb out of bed.

Roman grabs Cody's arm, anger boiling in his chest at Cody's stubbornness. He gives Roman a taste of this, of a soulmate, and now he wants to leave? (Just like Seth) Doesn't Cody know that this is a great thing?

"Let me go" Demands Cody jolting away from him causing Roman's fingernails to leave long red marks across his pale skin.

Cody all but runs from him, not even stopping for shoes, his phone or a coat. His panicking hands fumble with the bus’s locked door, his normally elegant and precise movements made shaking and uncoordinated with panic. Cody’s inability to unlock the door gives Roman enough time to catch up to him and pull Cody back from the door.

"What is your problem?" Demands Roman, spinning Cody around so they are staring at each other.

"What part of Leave Me Alone have you been missing?!" Yells Cody, anger replacing his fear, moving to get right in Roman's face.

"You. Are. My. Soulmate. What part of THAT do you not understand?"

"Being soulmates doesn't mean you can suddenly decide you love me!"

"I already told you! I have always loved my soulmates! Even if I didn't know you were my soulmate I always loved you!"

"Roman! I didn't ask for this! I didn't ask for you to love me"

"Too bad, I love you and there is nothing you can do!"

"Nothing?"

"Cody, Seth is our other Soulmate, you have to do a lot worse to get me to not love you"

Cody glares at him, tiredness tempering his fury into a more reasonable frustration.

"Roman, I just need some time, alone. This has been a lot"

"I'll leave you alone if you answer one question for me"

Cody raises his eyebrows clearly surprised by Roman's answer. It takes a moment for Cody to nod and Roman feels himself calm down.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Roman asks the question that has been bothering him all night. He could not fathom why Cody wouldn't tell him they were soulmates. (Why Cody didn't want him? Wasn't the Champion, the Tribal Chief enough?)

Cody pauses looking away from Roman and grabbing his elbow in a nervous tic. His beautiful blue eyes dance with conflict and pain before he says

"… For a long time I was with Randy, we weren't soulmates but we… we made each other… we were fine. At that party, I was still with Randy and you and Seth seemed happy, it didn’t want to mess anything up. Then me and Randy broke up during the Authority and I wanted nothing to do with the Shield. After that, I left the WWE and I was trying to forge my own path… Now I'm back and we've been fighting each other since day one. If being soulmates actually meant anything then we would have at least liked each other but we hate each other. I would have told you if we got along."

Roman reaches out, cupping Cody's cheek as he says

"I love yo-"

"Don't act like you actually love me! You don't even know me!"

"That can change Cody"

Cody glares at him, pulling Roman's hand off his face before crossing his arms over his chest.

"You said you would leave"

Roman nods and says

"I'll sleep on the couch tonight"

"What?"

"I'll leave you alone but I'm not leaving."

Cody glares at him fresh anger sparked in his bright blue eyes. He scraps his hands through his blond hair and storms off into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

Roman feels the urge to go after him but he forces himself to stay in the main section of the bus. He busies himself with preparing a bed on the couch and tidying the already spotless bus. He listens closely as Cody stomps around the bedroom, he won't let himself sleep until he knows Cody is safe in bed. So he waits and periodically peeps into the bedroom.

He only goes to sleep once he sees Cody passed out in an uncomfortable-looking position on the bed, tear tracks running down his face, it's clear his soulmate had to cry himself to sleep. Maybe it was from the pain of the attack earlier or the emotional strain of tonight but either way Roman promises himself that will never happen again.

Everything changed tonight, his plans, his perception of the world, his goals but despite everything he was happy, no elated to have found his soulmate. This time he would do it differently, do it right, he wouldn't let Cody get away like Seth did. He would prove to Cody that being soulmates meant something, that Roman could be everything he ever wanted or needed. Roman could be enough.

AO3 LINK >>> Still (Running) (Waiting) (Looking) - A_Random_Pillow - World Wrestling Entertainment [Archive of Our Own]

Bonus Bloodline Chat:

Roman: Cody is my soulmate, come pick us up tomorrow.

Dwayne: Shit

Jimmy: Is he joking?

Jimmy: nevermind stupid question

Jimmy: So what now?

Jimmy: Roman?

Jimmy: Roman?

Solo: He's probably busy now, Wise Man says we'll stop by Cody's bus at 7:00 to pick you up.

Dwayne: Just rescheduled his plane ticket and hotel accommodations so he is riding with us.

Solo: Do we have to worry about his friends?

Jimmy: Oh! I'll see if I can get one of the medics to tell them that Cody got sent to a hospital.

Solo: Good idea but why don't you get multiple medics and tell them to give them different hospitals?

Jimmy: Great idea Solo! So proud

Dwayne: Cute, so what will happen with the WrestleMania

Jimmy: We should probably wait to talk to Cody and Roman about that.

Dwayne: Point

[tdinyomomma]

TD Imagines- Courtney

The Fake

“Do you think them hating each other will ever end?” I turned to Cody who was tense with fear looking around to watch out for Sierra. “Huh? What?” He asks and I chuckle, “She’s helping Chris with something she’ll be gone for a while.” I assure him, soothing his anxiety about the stalker who doesn’t leave him alone. His body slumps in the chair. “I’m sorry, what were you saying, though?” He apologizes but I shrug it off, it was understandable, Sierra is a bit much when it comes to the boy next to me. 

“I said, do you think they will stop hating each other? Over a boy, ya know.” My eyes were locked on Courtney crying about Gwen kissing Duncan. Heather weirdly comforted her, it was strange to see that happening. “Oh, probably not. Courtney’s pretty persistent and stubborn.” He takes a bite of his food, I bite my lip, frowning. “Right.” I sigh.

“Why do you care?” He chews on his food, I make a disgusted expression. “What?” “Chew with your mouth closed.” I roll my eyes. “And I-” I stop and think for a moment before continuing. “I just don’t want to lose because our team can’t get along.” I partly lied. I mean, I don’t want to lose because we lose first class. I also don’t want to lose because that means we have to send someone home, I don’t know who to choose. Or who everyone else will choose. “True but if we do lose can you promise me to vote for Sierra, please.” He leans his head back, taking another bite of his food and I laugh. “Sure, Cody.” 

After going back to silence I go back to looking over at Courtney who’s scribbling things down now. Heather says something to her and her eyes light up. I wonder what was said? Courtney’s head then snaps in my direction and I quickly vert my eyes to my lap. 

Later on in the day, I felt a tap on my shoulder as I was about to go get some food for Cody and I. He’s been too scared to leave his spot not knowing where Sierra’s gonna pop out from. “Hm?” I turn around to see Courtney with a huge grin on her face. I melted a little by her touch and smiled back at her. “Hey, [Name], we’re pretty good friends. Right?” Her head tilts and I glance around to see if this is some joke. Yeah we’re friends. Being in the same show for three seasons. I’ve always admired her but never had the guts to be besties or anything. “Uh… yeah, I guess?” I shrug my shoulders, going back to making the plates of food.

“So, you wouldn’t mind doing an itsy bitsy favor for me, would you?” She gets in front of me to stop me from getting my food. I raise an eyebrow. “Depends.” I simply exclaim. 

“[Name] it might actually not be so, itsy.” She frowns, I wait for her to go on and she closes her eyes taking a deep breath. “Could you please pretend to date me to make Duncan jealous. Alejandro offered but it doesn’t feel right. Duncan was always jealous of you.” She explains her favor and my jaw drops, along with the food that I was just holding. Her smile falters a bit, and she goes to apologize. I put my hands up, covering her mouth to start laughing. “Duncan? Jealous of me?” I snort, “hilarious joke, Court. Seriously.” I pat her shoulder, bending down to pick up the mess I made. 

“I am serious, [Name]. Please. I’ll do anything.” She begs at this point and I look up at her from the angle I’m in. “Anything?” I smirk. “Yes, I swear.” I then see Duncan entering the room, I grab her by the waist and lean down to act like I’m about to kiss her. Her hands laid on my chest in shock. I look up at the mohawk having  teen, acting surprised. “Oh, Duncan, what are you doing here?” I laugh awkwardly, still holding onto Courtney, not noticing how red her face is currently. 

“What is going on here?” He furrows his brow and I clear my throat, now having the girl by my side, my hand still laid on her opposite hip. “What do you mean?” I quizz. “I mean, why are you kissing Courtney?” He asks more aggressively and I shrug my shoulders. 

“Because I can.” I smile, “If you don’t mind we’re gonna go back to first class… together.” I wink, grabbing Cody’s food, walking back to the first class area with Courtney still right up next to me. Once we’re out of his sight, I let her go and she jumps up laughing. “That was amazing, did you see his face?!” She was practically talking to herself as I started walking again to go over to Cody. “Hey, wait. Where are you going?” She grabs the sleeve of my shirt, halting me from going anywhere. 

“To give Cody his food and probably take a nap.” I look around confused, was I not supposed to go my separate ways after making Duncan jealous? “We have to make everyone think this is real, so Duncan doesn’t know it’s fake.” She crosses her arms, I laugh. She doesn’t but I couldn’t hold it in. “We never spoke before this, how are people going to believe it?” I point out, this is where she smirks.

“Back story, duh. If people ask, we will just tell them that we both pined for each other secretly and you finally mustered up the guts to tell me your feelings!” She explains so simply, my shoulders tense at the thought because a quarter of that is true on my end. Secretly pining after Courtney secretly since the beginning, I don’t even believe the situation I’m in right now. 

“Oh, and you can’t talk to Gwen anymore. You’re mine.” She kisses my cheek and walks away leaving me flustered. I give myself a minute, taking a deep breath then going over to Cody, handing him his food in silence. “You good, you look happy but incredibly not yourself.” He takes a bite of a chip, I slowly turn my head to look at him eyes wide open. “I’m dating Courtney… I guess?” I then turn back to face forward, Cody’s jaw drops, so does his chip. “What!?” He shouts, earning a few looks and I shush him.

“I don’t know it happened so fast!” I whisper, clearly distressed. 

“She was just crying over Duncan and now you’re dating!?” He was whispering now too, I rub my face aggressively, breathing in through my nose. “I guess! I have no idea man.” I hold my face in my hands.

“Wow, at least you got your girl.” He congratulates me but it doesn’t feel right since it’s not one-hundred percent the truth but he also doesn’t need to know that right now. 

“Hey, [Name], come sit with me.” Courtney’s leaning over my seat and I look up at her, nervously grinning. “Okay…” I glance back to Cody who does a little nod as in okaying me to go. “You sure? Sierra might take my spot.” I remind him but he shrugs. “There’s nothing I can do about her at this point.” He sighs. I chuckle, ruffling his hair. “You’re the best, Cody.” I shoot up, taking Courtney’s hand and we go sit with Heather. I sit down normally and Courtney cuddles into my side. My whole torso is tense, not knowing what to do. 

“You two are actually dating?” Heather questions us, I nod and Courtney smiles. “Yup, all mine.” She snuggles in closer, I didn’t even know we could get closer, but she manages to do it. 

The next day, Courtney and I were all over each other, whenever eyes laid on us she did something to try and prove we’re a real couple somehow. Sometimes it felt too much. But I followed along, Duncan glared daggers through and if looks could kill I’d be 24 feet in the ground if he had it his way. 

The next couple of days have been filled with Courtney using me to make Duncan jealous and as much as I know and understand this is to help her it’s really starting to bother me since it’s making my feelings grow stronger. It’s now hurting to know that this is not real and whenever she wants to we will end this and pretend nothing ever happened. 

Thinking to myself, a person comes up to me, scaring me out of my zone. 

“Hey, babe~” Courtney sings, plopping down next to me, I smile weakly at her. “Hey, Court.” I gave a short wave, her eyebrows furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, just tired. Rough night.” I forced out a laugh but it was too obvious that it wasn’t real and I sigh, putting my head down. “You can talk to me. I might be your fake girlfriend but I still care.” She jokes with me and I nod but I don’t say anything, not knowing how to put how I feel into words. 

I bite my lip, biting the dead skin off as I just blurt out words. “I like you.” I blurted out, and I’m shocked by my own words that left my mouth. “What?” Her face drops, I go to explain but she stands up, her hands on her hips. “[Name] this between us isn’t real, you know that. ” She exclaims loudly, I look around to see a few of our friends staring at us and I try to shush her. 

“No, [Name], don’t shhh me!” She points a finger in my face. “I was only doing you a favor by being with you. This was to help me out and you really thought you’d get something out of this?” She gets louder and my heart rate quickens. “No- if you’d listen-” She cuts me off. “Don’t, I got what I wanted out of this. It’s done.” She storms off away from me. “I thought we were friends?” I questioned her, quiet enough for no one else to hear. 

“Yeah to you, this was only for me to get what I wanted.” She scoffs, turning back around to face me again. My face contorts with different emotions and expressions. Mainly one: confused.

“Courtney, I’m seriously not understanding what’s happening.” I nervously laugh, she looks around and sees Duncan leaning against the wall then straightens her posture. “Like I said, we’re done, [Name].” She walks off over to the man and I hold onto my chest still feeling the thump of my heart. 

I ran off to the bathroom, throwing up immediately. Not hearing the door open, someone rubs my back. “That was brutal.” A voice says but due to throwing up I can barely pay attention to anything except for the sound of my own gagging. Once it’s over I lean back onto the wall, flushing the toilet and looking up to see Cody, getting down to his knees to be leveled with me. “What was all that?” He asks and I shrug my shoulders.

“It was a fake relationship.” I laugh quietly, my throat is hoarse and I can still feel my heart. “What?” He questions me. “It was all fake, she asked me as a favor to make Duncan jealous. She was just a little harsh when I said I actually liked her.” I cough, scrunching my nose at the taste in my mouth. “I had some weird panic attack and the attention made me throw up though.” He stands up then helps me up afterwards.

His jaw clenches after he hears what I said. “She didn’t have to make a scene like that.” He comments but I just walk back to my seat. “It seemed like once she saw Duncan she didn’t finish what she had to say and left to join him.” I think back to how she looked at him and rushed over. 

That night I didn’t eat, I didn’t talk and just cuddled into the seat, closing my eyes but not truly sleeping.

“Psst. [Name].” somebody shakes me, I mumble for them to go away but they don’t stop. “What?” I say in an aggressive tone but whispering since most of the others were also sleeping. “Can we talk?” It’s Courtney. 

I stare at her, not responding back. My chest starts to hurt at the sight of her. 

“Please, I’m sorry for earlier.” She pleads but I still don’t respond, looking at the ground. “[Name], I got hurt and Duncan wants me back. I went too far. It’s a reflex and I’m sorry.” She apologizes but I laugh dryly. “It was only meant to make him jealous, it wasn't meant to go that far.”

“You didn’t just do that to make Duncan jealous, you did it because you knew you could. You knew I liked you and you did it on purpose.” I say in a low tone, a hurt tone. A tone I don’t think she was ready to hear yet. 

“I did you a favor and all it did was destroy me mentally. I thought I was helping someone I truly admired. Instead it was all a stupid game to you.” I stood up, meeting her eyes that were filled with tears.

“I didn’t think you actually liked me.” She whispers almost inaudibly. 

“Well I don’t anymore.” I harshly say, walking away. 

I voted myself out next time we lost, not wanting to be around her anymore. 

It didn’t end with anyone getting a true explanation or an apology. Well Courtney tried but I kept thinking back to her words when she yelled at me. It overpowered every apology she gave me or things she gifted me to help me win.

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Links to Other Writings

kinda rush, don't think I like it but I still want to post it because I wrote it.

[shadowycoffeeperfection]

Healing

Crosshair x Cara (female former jedi oc)

Warnings: nightmares, angst, soft crosshair, alcohol, anxiety/panic attack

Summary: Crosshair is trying to settle back into his life with the bad batch on Pabu but is struggling with his past. He meets Cara and she seems to understand him in a way no one has before.

A/N: Tech is alive and well. He is mentioned, but is not actually in this.

Crosshair tossed and turned in his bunk. Wishing sleep would consume him but anxiety, fear, shame, anger and self loathing had consumed his mind. He had been completely exhausted when he laid down falling almost instantly asleep but it wasn't long before the nightmares had started and tourtmented him. Haunting him with his past, as it had every day for the weeks since he, tech and omega were rescued from the Empire.

Cross had woken with a start, chest heaving as he struggled to breath, tears streaming down his face as he shoved his fist into his mouth trying to keep his whimpers at bay and silent. Using his free hand he swiped madly at his eyes wiping away the blurriness. Looking over he could see and hear Wrecker snoring away in his bunk. Tech's bunk was empty meaning he was either still awake in the copock or else had fallen asleep in there which cross wouldn't be surprised by either of those outcomes. Especially since Tech was the one sleep the less out of the team. Cross leaned over the side of his bunk peering down into the bunk under his to find Hunter's gaze staring straight at him. Cross internally crused at himself for waking up Hunter and because he didn't exactly feel like dealing with questions at the moment.

Cross glared at Hunter for a moment with his scowl plastered on his face before leaning up on his bunk settling into his pillow and sighing deeply. To his surprise hunter didn't ask questions and everything was quiet except for the hum of the Marauder, wreckers snoring and Crosshair's irregular breathing.

Crosshair focused on his breathing trying to get it until control but more flashes of his past continued to plague his mind. All the orders he had given under the influence of the inhibitor chip with the assurance of good soilders follow orders, the screams of his victims, the sight of Wrecker falling to the deck on Kamino when Crosshair shot him, the look in Hunters eyes when Cross chose the Empire over them after the destruction of Kamino, Cody's voice echoing through his mind, Mayday's last stuttering breath, him shooting his commanding officer, the torture at the hands of Dr.Hemlock, hearing Omega's voice tell him tech sarifced himself to save the squad while trying to locate him.

All the memories were too much and a small sob escaped Crosshair and he held his breath trying to fight it before Hunter thought he was pathetic.

Hunter could hear the ragged breathing of Crosshair and the frantic beat of his heart. And could sense the wave of emotions crashing over Cross. And his heart ached for him. Hunter quietly got up and climbed up in Crosshair's bunk, laying on his back next to him with their shoulders touching slightly. Cross didn't say anything but put his arm over his eyes trying to hide his valuable state.

"Breath brother, deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Breathe with me."

Cross released the breath he had been holding and took a stuttering breath. Working with Hunter until finally he was breathing even again and under control. He was greatful his brother came up to comfort him even though he didn't like anybody to see him vulnerable.

"Don't tell anybody." He intended to growl at Hunter but his voice came out more raspy then he wanted.

"I won't." Huntwr whispered back. Hesitantly, not wanting to push too much Hunter asked if he wanted him to stay. Cross didn't respond as he rolled over facing the bunk wall but after a moment pushed some cover towards Hunter.

Hunter laid there long after he heard the even deep breathing of his brother singling that he was finally back to sleep before he got up and climbed back in his bunk.

As the sun was rising on pabu, cross got up showered and dressed. Grabbed his rifle and set out before any of his brothers or Omega had woke. He set off away from the village climbing down the rocks away from the landing platform until he was a good distance away from everything. He stopped in a grassy green field to practice shooting.

It was peaceful and quiet. Just what Cross felt he needed and he spent serval good hours there shooting and cleaning his rifle. When he was done he settled with his back against a large boulder and watched the breeze whispering through the tall grass and could distantly hear the sounds of the ocean crashing against the shore of the island. After a while lost in thought, Cross sighed and grabbed his rifle to head back to the Marauder. He had brought his comm but kept it off so his brothers or Omega couldn't bother him. He knew Hunter could track him out here if he really wanted to but he figured it was time to head back.

Once Cross arrived back at the landing platform he realized the Marauder was gone and he froze. His blood freezing in his veins like ice. He suddenly couldn't breath as his stomach dropped and his heart started beating frantically. He couldn't move as he stood there staring at the spot where the ship had been. His knees felt weak and his lungs burned as he gasped for breath. His vision was blurred with tears and only one thought kept racing through his mind.

His brothers wouldn't leave him behind again would they?

Cross could hear somebody calling his name but he couldn't focus on the voice over the roar in his ears. And he thought desperately to himself, I need my brothers, don't they need me too? They rescued me so why leave me now?

Just as Crosshair's knees gave out he felt strong arms grab him and help him down to the platform. He struggled against the arms for a minute until Hunter's face suddenly came in his vision.

"Hey! Hey, it's okay, it's just me. I got you. I'm here with you Cross." Hunter had ahold of his upper arms peering worriedly at him with concern in his eyes.

Cross gulped harshly against the bile raising in his throat and looked blankly at Hunter. Still shaking in his brothers grasp. Tears still burned at his eyes, threatening to fall. And his lungs were still burning harshly as Cross still was gasping for breath.

They didn't leave me?

Hunter must have connected the dots of Crosshair's anxiety attack because he smiled and pulled Crosshair in for a hug before moving back to gently speak.

"We didn't leave you Cross, we are right here. I'm right here. Tech just took Omega out for more flying lessons, while Wreck and I helped with the village."

Crosshair slowly came back to himself as his breathing slowed again and his mind cleared focusing his attention on his brother who indeed didn't leave him again. Relief washing over him, as he realized he wasn't alone and still had brothers.

Abruptly,he pulled away from Hunter, standing up and facing away from him. He felt ridiculous for showing such emotion in front of anybody.

"Cross-"

"I'm fine, Hunter. I'm going to find a drink."

And with that, he stocked off towards the village. Twisting and turning down the stone paths until he finally found himself standing in front of the small bar he had found on his first week of being on Pabu.

Cross slipped in the bar and settled himself on a stool at the end of the bar. From his seat he could see both the main entrance and the door leading to the back. While he knew this was a peaceful place some habits of being a former soilder were hard to break. The bar was dimly lit but much cleaner then most bars Cross had been to. There were a few booths and tables spread out and the long bar was set at the back of the bar. With it only being early afternoon, there were only a handful of partons in the bar.

The bar tender came over and Cross asked for the strongest whiskey they had and told him just to leave the bottle. While cross didn't plan to get completely wasted he knew he was probably going to be here a while so no point in having to order multiple drinks. He just wanted to drink enough to relax and maybe if he was lucky he'd forget about his worries for a bit.

"Either your brave or your really trying to forget your troubles."

The small quiet voice broke through Cross's thoughts and he turned to look at the slender cloaked figure sitting two bar stools down from him.

"What?" He frowned at the figure, who stood up coming to sit next to him. Pulling back the cloak to reaval a young lady with striking black hair and blue eyes that held a fire in them. Cross felt his breath catch in his throat as he realized she was utterly breath taking beautiful.

"Not many people can handle Mac's strongest whiskey. So either your brave or your trying to forget." She explained with a smirk lurking at the edges of her lips.

"Maybe I just have a higher alcohol tolerance."

"Perhaps" the smirk growing across her face turning into a smile.

Crosshair studied her for a moment. Wondering what she wanted from him or maybe she was just drunk and wanted someone to talk to? Not many people liked clones especially after what happened to the jedi and the Empire taking over. His frown deepened. He was here to forget his troubles not to worry more. He sighed quietly and turned away from her to continue his drink.

After finishing his third glass of whiskey, Cross was starting to feel the tension draining from his body as he poured himself another glass.

"I'm Cara, I served in the clone wars as well." Cara said quietly breaking the comfortable silence they had been sitting in.

Cross lifted a brow looking back at her. She served in the war? Not many people were in the clone wars except for clones and jedi. Could she be one of the surviving jedi? If she was then he was sure she'd hate him after finding out be shot at a padawan under the influence of the chip.

"Crosshair...how were you in the war?" He rasped. Uncertain if he wanted to know.

"There's no need to be afraid. I know about the inhibitor chips." Cara smiled at him sweetly and patted him on the shoulder.

"So you are a jedi?" Cross felt his chest tighten as memories of shooting at the padawan flooded his mind and he quickly shut those thoughts down and looked at the exit, wondering if it would be wise to leave now.

"Was" Cara's voice once again brought him back from his thoughts. " I was a jedi once. But I left the order before the start of the war but close to the end of the war, they asked for my help and so I joined forces with them."

Cara looked at him, her shoulder length black hair framing her face and shimmering around her shoulders. His gaze shifted to the exit once again. She was intriguing and he felt himself drawn to her for some reason that he didn't understand. But it scared the hell out of him. He didn't like it. Not to mention what would she do when she found out about his past?

"Please don't go"

Cross looked back to Cara. Her blue eyes burning into his. "Stay out of my mind." He snapped.

"I can't read your mind...but I can feel your emotions very strongly...and I just-it nice to see another soilder. Someone who understands."

Cara's response hit him like a blaster bolt. Shes had it rough too. He realized and he felt his scowl slip off his face.

"Echo found me wondering the lower levels of Coruscent and brought me here. I finally have a safe place to start over. You do too. But I understand it's hard."

Crosshair stared at her in disbelief. Echo found her? His brothers knew there was a former jedi running around Pabu and didn't think it something he needed to know? He felt anger raising in him. What else were they keeping from him?

"Don't be mad. I asked them not to tell anyone. It's not their secret to tell."

"Are you sure you can't read my mind!" he growled annoyed but as Cara laughed, he found himself not annoyed anymore but in awe at the sound of her laughter. What the kriff is going on with me? He wondered.

"Come on, I'll make you dinner." She said as she stood up, placing credits on the counter. Crosshair eyed her skeptically.

"Your inviting a clone into your home?"

"Yes, silly. Now come on, I'm straving." Cara gently grabbed his hand and pulled him up. He downed the rest of his fourth glass and threw credits on the counter to pay for the bottle. Grabbing the bottle he followed Cara out onto the street.

Cara lead him down more winding paths to a small cottage. She unlocked the door and slipped inside holding it open for him to enter. The cottage was tiny with a kitchen to the left and a living area in the middle. On the far right side was a small hallway leading to two doors which he assumed were the refresher and bedroom before the hallway ended with a glass door to the back deck which overlooked the ocean. It was simple but cozy.

"Make yourself at home, I'll start cooking." Cara said as she turned into the kitchen taking various pots and pans out.

"Do you make it a habit to bring strangers home with you?" Crosshair asked more out of curiosity then a attempt at conversion. He realized he was standing there awkwardly in the doorway so he moved over to the small round table in the kitchen and sat watching as Cara moved around the kitchen.

"No, your actually the first person I've brought to my home." Cara said quietly as she started to chop vegetables up.

Cross frowned, why did she bring him here? "What had you day drinking?" He asked instead.

"If I tell you then you have to tell me." Cara laughed as she placed the vegetables in a skillet adding spices and some meat.

"Fair enough." He responded. He felt enraptured by her as he watched her. He'd never felt this way or been interested in women before. During the war he never had time and never thought about how it would be after the war.

"I have nightmares. Not very often anymore but when they do come its rough."

Cross opened his pouch on his belt and pulled out a tooth pick to chew on as he thought her response over. He understood nightmares all too well. Should he tell her about his? Should he tell her about the panick attack he had when he thought his brothers left him? Should he make something up or just not answer at all? He didn't like to feel vulnerable and answering this question truthfully would leave him vulnerable but at the same time, she left herself vulnerable with her response. Also he felt safe and calm around her. He didn't feel like she would think less of him or make fun of him. He felt she would understand.

"Nightmares and occasional panick attacks." He responded truthfully. The toothpick threatened to break under the force of his teeth as he chewed on it, watching Cara closely for her reaction.

Cara opened a cabinet and pulled out two plates and filled them with the meat and vegetables and a slice of bread. She then pulled out two wine glasses, pouring whiskey from Crosshair's bottle before she sat down across from him.

"I'm sorry. I can't imagine what you've been through. But the important thing is you lived through it. And now your life is yours alone. You can do what you wish now. It will take time to heal Crosshair, but you will and it will get better, I promise." Cara said and Cross could see the compassion in her eyes and knew she meant every word. He felt his throat tighten up and tears burned at the back of his eyes. He cleared his throat and quickly took a sip of whiskey. Pushing back against the emotions.

The rest of the meal was spent mostly in silence with the occasional idle conversation. Once they finished eating, Crosshair helped Cara clean up the kitchen then they took their glasses and the rest of the bottle of whiskey to the back deck to watch the sunset. Cross told her about clone force 99. About his brothers and the mission to rescue Echo and how he came to be a member of the batch. And she told him about her time as a jedi and how she came to doubt the jedi code. How she left the jedi and came back to help with the war effort. How she was almost killed and forced into hiding until Echo found her. They talked about various missions and their thoughts about the war and how they both understood now that the whole war had just been a plot to destroy the republic so the Empire could take place. They talked well past sunset and long after the bottle of whiskey was empty. Crosshair felt like he had talked more in the hours since he met Cara then he had his entire existence.

"How did you know I wouldn't hurt you?" Crosshair finally blurted out. The question how been bothering him all evening since she brought him to her home.

Cara grinned at him "that's a easy answer, I could feel the goodness in you, Cross."

Crosshair felt like the breath had just been punched out of him as he stared at Cara. After all the horrible things he had done, a jedi could still feel goodness in him?

"I'm not a good person." He whispered looking away from Cara back out to where the waves were washing up on the shore with the moon light casting down.

"You are a good person, I can feel it very clearly. I don't know what happened at the end of the war for you. But whatever you are holding onto, you need to let it go and forgive yourself. That's the first step towards healing." She slipped her hand into him and squeezed it gently.

Crosshair turned back to Cara searching her firey blue eyes. He knew there was truth in her words but he also didn't know if he could forgive himself for the terrible things he had done. He felt like she could see straight through to his very soul. But he wasn't scared, for the first time, he wanted someone to see his emotions, his thoughts and feelings. He wanted her to see him just as he was.

"I think that's what drew me to you. Your presence is smoothing to me. I don't know how to explain it but you feel like...home." she continued and Crosshair had the overwhelming urge to lean in and kiss her. He chew down on his toothpick to stop the urge, he didn't want to over step any boundaries. He watched amused as a blush creep across her face and she bit her bottom lip.

Crosshair realized he was slowly leaning towards her and froze for a second before throwing caution to the wind, tossing his toothpick to some unknown place and closing the distance between them. Pressing his lips against Cara's in a sweet chaste kiss. He pulled back resting his forehead against hers.

"I'm sorry-"

Cara didn't let cross finish his sentence as she pulled him down for another kiss. This one messy and full of passion and longing. She placed one hand on his shoulder and she dug her other hand in his hair. Cross gripped her waist with both hands pulling her into his lap sideways. Leaning her back slightly to deepen the kiss before he broke away gasping for breath. Cara nuzzled into his chest quietly panting for breath.

Crosshair wrapped his arm around her bringing her closer to him and settling back in the chair, resting his head on top of hers. It felt amazing holding her in his arms and again he wondered what she was doing to him but whatever it was he found himself liking it alot.

"This has been the best day I've had in months and I don't want it to end...will you stay with me tonight? I just want you to hold me."

Crosshair hesitated, while he didn't want to leave and wasn't in a hurry to be trapped back on the Marauder with his brothers for the night. He also knew he needed to talk to Hunter about earlier but it could wait til morning. He realized he was mostly hesitant because he was scared. What if he had nightmares and kept her awake or did something wrong?

"Relax Cross, it's okay."

Cross looked down at her and realized he was shaking. She leaned up to kiss his check and softly whsiper in his ear.

"whatever your scared about don't be. Please just say with me. I don't expect anything from you."

Cara pulled back to smile sweetly at him before standing and pulling him up. He followed her into her bedroom and started stripping off his armor as she took a her night clothes and headed into the refresher to change.

Dressed down to just his black bottoms, he dug out his comlink thumbing it on and calling Hunter.

"Crosshair?"

"I will be back in the morning. I didn't want you to worry."

There was a slight pause, "everything okay?"

"Yes, Hunter. I will see you in the morning." Crosshair snapped and shutoff the comlink. He knew Hunter was just surprised and wanted to make sure everything was okay but sometimes he really wished his brothers would mind their own business. He sighed and climbed in the bed.

Crosshair looked up as Cara entered the bedroom in sleeping shorts and a tank top. Her face plastered with a grin.

"I'd like to meet the rest of your brothers."

Crosshair scoffed as she climbed in and curled up to him. Her arm across his chest and tucking her head into the crock of his neck. He tensed at the contact.

"I don't bite." Cara chuckled.

"You've playing with fire, kitten." Crosshair rasped back as he relaxed and wrapped his arm around Cara.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Go to sleep."

"Without my goodnight kiss?"

"Your insufferable."

But for the first time in a very long time Crosshair slept soundly through the night without nightmares or worries. Wrapped around Cara in a loving warm embrace

[rescuehumans-runtotherescue]

What My Personal Reverse AU Would Look Like:

-

Human Chase

Name: Chase

Race: Korean

Appearance: He is pale, has blue eyes and short black neatly combed hair.

Sexuality: Bi

Age: 22

He has OCD and autism. He is lactose intolerant. Due to his hyperfixation on law, he moved up classes quickly. He is not the chief of police, because of his age and inexperience, but just below that in rank. In this AU, the actual Chief of Police isn’t very helpful, mainly just doing paperwork and attending meetings.

How he reacts to people flirting with him: Painfully oblivious.

What he drinks in the morning: Coffee that is half coffee, half dairy-free coffee creamer.

-

Human Blades

Name: Blaise

Race: White

Appearance: He has fluffy ginger hair (longer than all the others but still a short hairstyle) and hazel eyes.

Sexuality: Omnisexual

Age: 22 (younger than Chase by a couple months)

He is autistic and has generalized anxiety. He willingly wanted to become a pilot. He’s fine as long as he’s familiarized with the aircraft and in complete control of it. When he flew in Dagger (Dani) the first time, she just >ZOOM< Took off! His screams could be heard from a mile away and it took A LOT of encouraging and bribery to get him to fly her the second time.

How he reacts to people flirting with him: Panics and makes an excuse to leave. It’s not that he wouldn’t want to have a romantic relationship, he just doesn’t know how to handle one right now.

What he drinks in the morning: Orange juice.

-

Human Boulder

Name: Bou

Race: Hispanic

Appearance: He has tan skin and short brown hair and beard. He has dark brown eyes.

Sexuality: Pan + Ace spectrum

Age: 24

He has ADHD. He is a hopeless romantic. He has a small greenhouse behind the fire station, which used to just be a garden until the bots (the Burns) kept accidentally falling on it/stepping in it, so he made the greenhouse for the high visibility and to protect his plants.

How he reacts to people flirting with him: While a hopeless romantic who dreams of gushy dates, when faced with someone actually taking an interest in him, it’s like he forgets how to speak english. Poor guy gets so tongue-tied!

What he drinks in the morning: Tea.

-

Human Heatwave

Name: Heath

Race: Black

Appearance: he has dark brown eyes and short crew cut dark brown hair.

Sexuality: Demiromantic + Bi

Age: 26

He is dyslexic but hides this from others if he can. He is the leader of their team.

How he reacts to people flirting with him: Depending on who it is and how they’re flirting, he’ll either ignore them or flirt right back with them. However, he is noncommittal and when they start persuading an actual romantic relationship, he stops altogether.

What he drinks in the morning: Coffee, black.

-

Chase and Bou grew up on Griffin Rock, but on opposite ends of the island. Chase was also homeschooled, which made him miss out on social opportunities, so there was no chance of them meeting in school. Bou was in lad pioneers when he was younger, Chase was not.

Heath and Blaise grew up elsewhere (not in the same place as each other) and were assigned to Griffin Rock. Blaise attended Boy Scouts when he was younger where he grew up.

They all met each other in training.

-

The Burns’ as Bots:

Charlie —> Cinder. The leader of the Rescue Bots.

Kade —> Kascade. Cascade with a K! He will not let you forget that.

Dani —> Dagger.

Graham —> Gram.

Cody —> Code.

Cinder, Kascade, Dagger, and Gram make up the bot rescue team. Code is not officially part of it, but visits Griffin Rock frequently and has tagged along to some missions. He has abilities like Servo does in the show, being a living toolbox of sorts. He also has a vehicle form- A tow truck. Not his idea, but Optimus’, and you don’t argue with Optimus. His vehicle form is mainly for his cover up, as it would be seen as odd if all the other ‘robots’ had vehicle forms and he didn’t. However, his vehicle form has came in handy. Code is set to attend the academy when it’s ready.

Servo in this AU is an actual dog that they petsit occasionally, who is legally owned by Captain Tide.

[kyberconfessions]

No Matter Where You Go, I Will Find You. Part 7

A/N: Wow everyone! The feed back I recieved today was crazy! I'm so glad so many people hae enjoyed my story! I didn't think anyone was really reading this, so I kept it to myself. But, you've proven me wrong! Once again, the amazing banner was made by Saradika. and, can I just say this now...the heartbreak is ALMOST done, I promise. We're are about to hit that bump. ALSO! if you would like to be added to my taglist, please send me an ask and I'll add you!

As always, this is a 18+ older fic and deals with anxiety, death, sex,  PTSD, murder, loss, found family, Order 66, and coming to terms. This is not just a fluff fic. It will very much be dealing with very dark and hard themes, so please, if that is something that can be too hard for you, don’t read.  Pairings: Rex x Reader x Cody (polyamory) I should say this is NOT a Rex x Cody fic. There will be ZERO Clonecest on this blog or story. Reader is a consensual relationship with Rex and with Cody. Yes they share, yes they will eventually have sex together, but Cody and Rex are NOT in a relationship nor will they be intimate. TW: Death, Murder, infanticide, death of the Jedi, PTSD, Loss, Anxiety, eating disorders, sleep disorders, Order 66, angst, but ends in fluff. I will add other things as I think about them

Part 7 - The Horrors of War

Obi-Wan stood across from you, a helmetless Cody at his side, the blue light of the battle plans bathing them in a ghostly pallor. Gregor stood next to you, bucket under his arm, listening intently as the General laid out the groundwork for Sarrish. You and your men in Foxtrot were going in to try and help sway the battle. It had already been a horrible, bloody fight, but the 212th Attack Battalion wasn’t going to give up so easily. “Young one, I want you and your men to flank the left side of the trench, while Cody and his men come from the east.” He gestured to different placements on the map, before zooming in towards the trench where he wanted you to go, “If we can cut them off from reinforcements, we might be able to win this battle.” You and Gregor nodded, listening intently to your Master’s orders.

“Cody, do not try to take the guns from the ground. If you look here,” again he zoomed the map out and then back in towards a towering rock face, “This is a promontory on the south side with a pathway in, that is far more dangerous and will cost an unnecessary amount of our men’s lives if you go in that way on foot. It might look appealing, but it will lead to certain death. Focus on the enemy lines here and here, with our gunships. I believe if we attack from two sides, and break their ranks, we will have a better chance of taking Sarrish back.” 

Cody studied the battle plans, nodding along to what Obi-Wan said. You all knew this was going to be much more dangerous than any battle so far. “Hey Adi’ka,” Gregor leaned in and whispered in your ear, “wanna bet Cody is going to roundhouse a few clankers and have the medbay up in arms about it...again?” You covered your face when a giggle threatened to break out. “Only if you take a bet that Master Kenobi is going to pretend that the 20 cups of caf he’s downed in the last six hours isn’t going to make him vibrate through a wall.” You and Gregor were so busy giggling and cracking jokes that you missed the annoyed look from Cody. “Captain Gregor, Commander, is there anything you would like to add to the briefing? Or are you two finished?” Cody glared at both of you, far too tired and stressed to entertain your joking attitude. Gregor stood up straighter and leaned away from you. “Uh, no. No Marshall Commander. Just, uh, just ready to get in there and break some clankers, is all.” Cody didn’t answer, only raised his eyebrow at you with a glare, detached resentment clear on his face. Though he loved you, there were times you weren't sure he actually liked you. Sometimes you wondered if he would eventually tire of you and move on. The look in his eye and slight sneer of his lip wasn't helping.

   You glanced away, biting your lip, but soon caught the gaze of your Master. “Sorry, Master.” your eyes fell away from the tired look Obi-Wan was giving you and started studying the leather ties on your shoes. “This mission is far more dangerous than what we have dealt with before, my young Padawan. I want you to be as prepared as you can be. One wrong move can cost us our lives.” If there was one thing that could get you to feel like you weren’t doing your best, it was that tone of voice from Obi-Wan Kenobi.

“Yes, Master.”

Obi-Wan and Cody went back to discussing the upcoming battle, going over every inch of the map. You swallowed thickly, trying to fight off the sting of tears in your eyes. You hated disappointing them. But lately it seemed as if that's all you did. Everything you did was wrong and you didn’t know why. You tried to do right, but you were beginning to crack and you were too afraid to ask for help. You were just tired. You just needed a break. All of Foxtrot did. Hopefully, after the campaign, you and your men could get some shore leave. Maybe then you could fix things. Maybe Cody and you could find some common ground. Maybe you wouldn't be such a disappointment to him. Maybe he'd start to like you again.  It also wouldn't hurt to see Rex once more. You missed him.

Gregor glanced at you sideways, eyes soft at your crestfallen look. He knew how much the General and Marshal Commander cared for you, but he also hated how often they forgot that you were only 18. You were just a kid.  They expected too much from you. He was the Clone Commando, not you. Very slowly, trying not to be detected, he scootched towards you, attempting to get close enough to whisper in your ear again without having to lean over. “First one to 500 clankers destroyed wins. Loser buys a round of Fried Endorian Tip-yip?” Your eyes dart to him, but he’s staring straight ahead, feigning interest in whatever Cody is arguing about for drop points. “Ye...yeah.” “Don’t let them be too hard on you Ad’ika. And don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re stronger than you know. And the next time those two make you frown like that, I’m going to call Boss and Sev. We’ll have a conversation with them.” “Thanks, Gregor.” “Of course Ad’ika. I’ll always be in your corner.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Gregor! On me! We have to get back to the ships! Fall Back! Fall Back!” There were explosions all around you, bombs throwing dark sand and shrapnel everywhere, hitting your men. You could taste the burning powder from the shots mix with blood in your mouth and feel the electric ozone dancing on your skin. The dirt and sweat burned your eyes, but still you fought, swinging your saber around, trying to volley blaster bolt after blaster bolt away from your men.  You had made the order to retreat towards the mountain range, but your men were still getting hit, still dying.You could hear the screams and cries, bodies littered across the ground, your heart hurting as you ran past them, unable to help. 

"Mayday! Mayday! This is the Jedi Commander of the 212th, I need immediate evac! West side of the trenches! We're getting killed out here!!" You were screaming into your comm, trying to get some sort of support for your men, trying to get them out. Each breath burned your lungs, making you choke on your words. Gregor caught up and stood behind you, back to back, shooting at the droids who just kept coming. 

You had never seen anything like it, so many spider droids, it was like staring out into the ocean, wave after wave of droids beating against the rocky grounds.Gregor looked over his shoulder at you with sad eyes and made his decision. He grabbed another Clone running by, by the pauldron, and shoved him towards you, “Chopper, get the Commander to the Evac ships! Go, that’s an order!” 

"No!” you screamed, eyes wide and jaw slacked, “No, no, no no! No Gregor, I'm not leaving you!" You tried to argue, he was your best man, your best friend, you were not going to leave him there to die. “Please don’t do this! Please! You have to come with us! You have to come with me! Please, Gregor! Stay with me!”

There was another explosion close to you, causing you all to flinch as dirt was thrown over you. Gregor turned and pulled your forehead to his, pressing you against the plastoid of his bucket. The dirt on your face smeared down as you sobbed, tears falling from your eyes.  You choked on your words, begging him to not leave you, begging him to keep going. 

"It's okay, Ad'ika. It's okay. I'll always be with you." 

He pulled away and pushed you towards Chopper, "Chopper, Go! Get her to safety! That's an order!" 

Then he was gone. You watched helplessly, pulled away towards the retreat, screaming and fighting to be let go so you could go after him. But Gregor ran towards the droids, commando blaster in one hand, vibroblade in the other.

Something shifted, suddenly it was hot, too hot, it ripped the air from your lungs, burning your eyes and nose. You saw them, you saw your Master standing on that ridge, saber drawn crying out to Anakin. “It’s over Anakin! I have the high ground!!....You were the Chosen One!” 

You gasped, shallow breaths unable to get air, trying to beg them to stop. You tried to scream, tried to yell out, but no sound came. Everything played out worse than you remembered, distorted in your fear. “I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!” You had to get away, you turned to run, but that angry presence just kept following you. You ran as fast as you could, but it chased you at every corner. It was so malevolent, shrouded in darkness and hatred. “I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!” You couldn’t get away, it was too fast, too vile, it was going to catch you, it was going to catch you and kill you. Your big brother was going to kill you. You looked around you, trying to find a way out, but everywhere was inky blackness, closing in to suffocate you.You tripped on something as you ran and began to fall. You kept falling, plummeting downwards as the voice got louder and closer, screaming for your demise. You couldn’t escape, you couldn’t escape, you were going to die and you couldn’t escape.

"Nnno….nng...Gre….nnoo...need….need….evac….nnnggh….fall….fallback….may….day....Gre...gor…..nnno...Capta….captains...orders….nnnnggh...Ana….nnno….Chose….chosen one…." You were slowly tossing your head back and forth, eyes squeezed shut, hands fisted in the blanket on top of you.

Rex stirred awake, hearing you call out in your sleep. He sat up a bit, watching you fight the old phantoms that still haunted your dreams. His heart clenched. He didn't catch what you said at the end, but he remembered that battle, the horrors of Sarrish, and what they did to you. Cody had called him from the medbay, panicked and distraught, while you were floating in a bacta tank, having taken heavy shrapnel to your entire torso and both legs. He was beside himself in grief, terrified at the possibility that the last thing he ever got to say to you was in irritation at the debrief. That you'd die thinking he was disappointed in you, that he was angry with you. That you'd die not knowing how much he loved you and how sorry he was for how cruel he acted. That you'd die and Cody would be all alone, left to explain to Rex how it was all his fault and that his stupidity and cold attitude killed you.

    They did almost lose you that day. You were almost gone when the evacuation team found you; a barely conscious Chopper cradling you in his arms, trying to shield the both of you from the bombs raining down. You lost all your men in that terrible campaign and were inconsolable for weeks when you finally woke up. That's when the nightmares started. At first, your Master would wake you, sensing your distress over your shared Force bond, but later Cody was always there, always waking you before Obi-Wan could get to you. When Obi-Wan noticed how much calmer you were when you saw Cody first, he would only check on you when the nightmares got to be too much to handle.

 The last time you had this nightmare with Rex, Cody was also there to hold you and wake you up with gentle whispers. He couldn't remember the exact way Cody did it, but he was going to try at least.

"Jed'ika, shhh, it's alright. You're here, you're safe. Sarrish is over. You're safe now Mesh’la. I have you. I'm not letting you go. I'm never letting you go again. You're okay. I promise." Rex ran his fingers through your hair, gently pressed at the furrow of your brow, and slowly opened your clenched fists, trying to get you to relax.

"I have you, my sweet girl. I'm never going to let anything happen to you. Never again. It's okay. It's just a nightmare. It's okay.."

He was waiting for you to shoot awake, like you always did, fear etched on your features and eyes wild. But you didn't. Slowly your breathing calmed and your fists opened up, and you seemed to leave the dream, falling back into a peaceful slumber. Rex smiled at you and kissed your head, laying back down again.

You rolled over and curled up closer to him, just like you used to when in your private quarters. Tomorrow, when the sun was shining and your nightmares were just a figment of the past, he would ask you to accompany him to Seelos. As he cuddled closer and started to fall back asleep, he couldn’t help but smile about the surprise that awaited you there. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list: @get-wr3ckered @imarvelatthestars

[ambulance-mom]

ooc I'm 21 i have a learning disability wich is actually as i found out a educational learning disability and a social learning disability

i live in the uk

i have adhd

i have been role-playing for three years

i have autism...

i suffer from anxiety and depression so if i baddger you please don't block me it's just my emotions or if to the outside eye i seem toxic I'm not toxic i just have iffy social skills and dont pick up on cues well

turns out i struggle with boundaries so please tell something if do wrong

all blogs

no pedos

no homophobes

no creeps

my tf oc

Besties

@hells-greatestdad best Luci

@xdeerxhealerx best deer

@vintagemoss a moss that provides emotional support

I love you guys

Alt rp blog @lust-trauma

Backstory

Trauma began life as a high caste medical trainee before the war and during the boiling point when it all went down the high council decided to bomb her clinic for disabled homeless younglings making a cover up saying they had destroyed abominations but trauma... out of her grief joined the decepticons to avenge her lost charges

alternative timeline

during the middle of the war she saw a decepticon soldier kill a youngling and then the truth came toppling on her she had then defected to the autobots and became a rescue bot for sigma 17 soon after morrocco kidnapped Cody and since then she became Cody's bot partner and in some aspects mother figure

tfp/RB info above

alternate tfp/rid2015

after the war she was granted amnesty and placed as the alchimores medic....

in some universe's she's a sweet and sadistic predicon medical officer

in the shattered glass universe she is insane off the walls and kidnaps younglings to "help" them being a mad medic

in generation 1 she's a apprentice of hook and sees the cons as a dysfunctional but lovable family

in animated she may be a former decepticon but trauma chooses to stay neutral and help orphan human children

in earthspark she's Megatron's lover and a close friend of dot's like her conjunx she was a decepticon and was their medic and now reculantlly works for ghost but she can't help but feel something's off about ghost

she was the one who amputated dot's leg and helped with her prosthetic leg and dot became like a sister to her

she was the one in my RP universe saved rumble's life and reunited him with frenzy his older sister and co parent's the twin's aswell as the other terran Cybertronian children with dot and megs acting as an aunt to all the lil ones

in idw she was at the Delphi facility when pharma released the rust disease potentially putting her Life at risk and the false medic then shot her

Fallout au

Surprisingly the bombs never affected due to her Cybertronian nature now she studies the wasteland curious and now tries to protect folk from raiders

Helluva-hazbin au

She's a succubus who works in the sin of lust's castle as the doctor/nurse

adoptive sire

@lobethemnemosurgeon

Loves:

@dodgeram-reboot shots

sideblogs

star wars rp blogs

@youngfett - cw and fanon tbb boba fett

fnaf rp blogs

@bear-bitten evan afton rp blog

@daddys-clown -Elizabeth afton rp blog

@corpse-guard afton rp blog

@golden5th - cassidy rp blog

@rotten-hare - Afton rp blog

dc blogs rp

@arkhambird -arkhamverse jason todd

@centered-razar gtlas razar rp blog

Marvel

@purple-surgicalborg nebula rp blog

steven universe rp blogs

@emotional-suport-noodle spinel rp blog

@rose-son steven universe rp blog

Hazbin verse rp blog

@damian-morningstar damian from bad luck jack and zoophobia headcanonn au rp blog

@the-bee-queen beeelzabub rp blog

@fizzy-jezter fizzaroli rp blog

@morningstar-angel vaggie rp blog

disney rp blogs

@fallen-second-born - scar rp blog

murder drones blogs

@nate-doorman-elliot n rp blog

@emo-grape uzi rp blog

quarry rp blog

@silas-dogboy - silas vorez rp blog

paw patrol rp blog

@bella-the-medic-pup paw patrol oc rp blog

resi rp

@mould-girl Eveline rp blog

Stranger things rp blog

@upsidedown-byers

Ninjago rp

@failed-student Morro rp blog

@clancee-irl clancee

[kayyay1219]

The Supernatural Life Ch.3

Parings: Jensen x teen!reader and Jared x teen!reader (Non Romantic)

Chapter Warnings: Angst, anxiety, sexual assault, Angry Jensen (yes, that’s a warning) fluff.

I just wanted to say thank you to @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior for helping me with this chapter ❤️

The next few days were a blur to Y/N. With going to set everyday and coming home late at night, she barely had time to be her usual self. She was barely sleeping and having a lot of panic attacks lately. She hasn’t told the boys, because she didn’t want to worry them.

Today her Y/N and Cody’s characters are kissing in one scene and needless to say, Y/N was not excited about it. This would be her first kiss with any boy ever, she didn’t want her first kiss to be on TV where everyone in the world could see. Y/N got called into the director’s office to discuss the scene with her and Cody.

Jensen saw Y/N walking towards the office and he saw how exhausted she looked. She had dark circles under her eyes, the makeup artists were going to have to cover those up. He worried about her, he and Jared both did.

When Y/N arrived at the office, the director and Cody were both waiting for her arrival. “Y/N, glad you made it, let's discuss today’s schedule. Today, you have a couple scenes with Jensen and Jared and as you already know, your character and Cody's character are sharing a kiss.” The director told the two teens. Cody seemed excited about the kiss, Y/N on the other hand, didn’t seem amused. She wished her character didn’t have a love interest, but she didn't want to argue. She just wanted to do her job and go home. The two teens nodded at listening close to the discussion. Outside the office, Y/N walked out and saw Jensen and Jared on set doing a scene, fighting another monster. At the end of the scene, Y/N waited until the two men were available. Once they were free to go, she ran up to Jensen and ran into his arms, hugging him. Jensen lifted her up, hugging her back, squeezing her gently. “Hey, sweetheart, how was your meeting?” Y/N looked down at her shoes not wanting to talk about the kissing scene. Jared looked at the girl with concern. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Jared asked. Y/N finally found the words. “Um the director has my character and Cody’s character kissing in a scene and I don’t know how I feel about it.” She says.

The two men were shocked, they didn’t want Y/N kissing anyone, even if she was comfortable with it. The look on her face looked like she didn’t want to do any kissing. “Sweetheart, I can talk to the director if you’re not comfortable with the scene. I know you haven’t had your first kiss, but if it’s too much for you, let me know.” Jensen said with a concerning look on his face. Y/N wanted to be at least professional, she didn’t want to disappoint anyone, let alone the director. “How about I try the scene and if I’m not comfortable, I’ll come tell you?” Y/N asked. Jared and Jensen both looked at each other and gave in.

“Okay, but if you end up not being comfortable at any time, you come straight to us. Got that, baby?” Y/N nodded at both men and walked off to the hair and makeup trailer. She had to go get ready to shoot her scenes today and get into her character’s costume in her trailer. As she was getting dressed,she started to notice how tired she was getting. Her days were all running together, she barely had time to sleep. Y/N saw the script on her table and decided to take a look at it. She saw the kissing scene and wondered how she was going to pull that off. She heard the door open and thought it wasJesenor Jared, but nope it was Cody. Y/N didn’t expect him to show up in her trailer.

“Hey, Y/N.” Cody said with a little wave and a smile. She just nodded at him and gave a small smile. She didn’t know why he was here and quite frankly she didn’t want him here. “I’d figured we practice the kissing scene, and after we go grab lunch.” He said. Y/N didn’t really want to, so she tried to be nice and give him an excuse that she was tired and wanted to rest, which was true. “Actually, I think I’m going to rest for the rest before I have to shoot scenes with Jared and Jensen. We could practice tomorrow before our scene.” She said, trying to reason with him, but he didn’t like that so he tried again. He walked over to Y/N and towered over her, with her being five feet tall and him six feet tall. He looked down at her with a smirk on his face thinking she'll give in. Y/N began to feel really uncomfortable with the way he stared at her. “Oh come on, we could practice now and tomorrow so the scene would be perfect.” Cody tried again. Y/N again, shook her head no and stepped back away from him. “No, Cody, I’m really tired right now and I got a huge headache.” She pleaded. He stepped forward up to her and that’s when things turned for the worse.

(SEXUAL ASSAULT. SKIP IF YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE READING)

Cody pushed himself on to Y/N making her back up against the wall. He wrapped his hand around her throat, squeezing it tightly. She tried to push him all but she was so tired and exhausted from working too much. Cody began to kiss her neck and bit her shoulder. She tried to scream out but he covered her mouth. He reached his hand down her waist and down her thighs. She tried again to push him off but no give. He tried to kiss her lips this time, but she bit his lip to the point she drew blood. He backed away and wiped the blood off his lip. “You little bitch! You think you can fight me off? Think again!” He yelled in her face. Y/N was getting really scared now. She didn’t know what he was going to do next. That’s when someone yelled saving her from getting assaulted even more.

(SEXUAL ASSAULT OVER)

All the sudden, Cody was pulled off of her and pulled to the ground. Y/N eyes were shut not looking at what’s happening. She finally opened her eyes and saw Jensen on top of Cody keeping him down on the ground. Cody tried to get up but Jensen pushed him back down and punched him in the face, knocking him out cold. Y/N was shaking from the assault not wanting to move. Jensen looked over at the frightened teen and his face softened. He walked over to her slowly not wanting to make her back away from him. “Sweetheart, are you okay?” He asked her, but she didn’t answer. She was too scared to answer. He began to wonder if he should call Jared and ask him to come help. He took his phone out of his pocket and called Jared and he answered on the first ring. “Hey man, where are you? Everyone is already gone, even Cody and Y/N. They disappeared after their meeting.” Jared rambled on, but Jensen cut him off before he could say anything else. “Jared, I need you to come to Y/N trailer now. Something bad happened to her.” He said quickly. Jared didn’t think about anything else, he just ran to her trailer. Once he got to her trailer, he saw Cody out cold on the floor and Jensen on the couch holding Y/N, while she was crying. He was confused why Cody was on the floor but more importantly, he was wondering why Y/N was crying. Jensen walked over to Jared and had this sad look in his eyes. “Jared, that fucker tried to sexually assault her. Who knows what else would’ve happened if I didn’t come to her trailer. It took a lot to beat him to a pulp, but I didn’t want to do that in front of her.” Jensen said. Jared looked over at Y/N, she was staring into space, still shaking.

“Why don’t you take her home and I’ll deal with this piece of shit.” Jensen said with venom in his voice. Jared nodded and went over to Y/N. He bent down and brushed her hair out of her face. She flinched from his touch but then realized it was Jared and not Cody. “Darlin’, it’s just me, it’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you.” Jared said sweetly. Y/N leaned forward to him and then latched on to him. Jared picked her up and rubbed her back, whispering sweet nothings in her ear.

On his way out of the trailer with Y/N, he looked at Jensen with a mad look on his face and Jensen knew what that look meant. It meant, ‘make that motherfucker pay.’ Jensen nodded at him, knowing what he’s gonna do with Cody. Jared called Cliff and had him take them both home.

Three hours later…

Cody woke up tied to a chair, can’t remember what happened. He was so confused why he was in this predicament. He heard someone walk up to him. He looked up and saw Jensen. Cody tried to get out, but it was no use. “You’re not going to get out, sp stop trying. Jensen said. Cody got frustrated and gave up. “Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re gonna quit the show and we can just tell the director to kill off your character. Or, if you don’t, I’m gonna kick your ass and trust me, I’m pretty good at it.” Jensen said with a smirk on his face, the look of Dean Winchester. Five minutes later called the director and quit the show. In conclusion, he was scared of Jensen.

At home, Y/N took a shower and Jared got a movie ready for them to watch and relax so she can try to forget what happened. Yeah, that’s gonna be hard to forget. Jensen texted Jared saying he’s on his way home. Y/N came out of the bathroom, had on fluffy pajamas and her hair was still wet. She had her hairbrush in her, wanting one of the boys to brush her hair, one of the things that calmed her down. She saw Jared on the couch on his phone looking at something. He looked up and saw her standing by the hallway. “Hey sweetheart, want me to brush your hair?” He asked. She nodded her head yes and went over to him and sat in front of him. He took her hairbrush from her and began to brush her hair. Y/N began to relax, almost falling asleep in place.

Jensen walked through the front door and saw Jared and Y/N on the couch, Y/N asleep in Jared’s lap. He sat his stuff down on the counter and sat on the couch. He took Y/N and she cuddled up to him and fell asleep again. Let’s just say the three of them slept on the couch that night

[howthekriffdidigethere]

Wish Come True.

Chapter eight: The Mechanic and the Mission.

Sorry everyone for the wait, life had some unexpected things happen and I wasn't on here much at all. But I hope you enjoy the next chapter 💜

(TW: descriptions of anxiety and bad parenting, fear of being punished, talks of war, death, and abuse.)

A few more days passed, and the entire time, I was either in class, training with Hunter, or studying.

I had taken Zayn up on his offer and had tracked him down so he could help me study.

I had briefly explained my situation, but not in its entirety. I wasn't sure I was allowed to share any of it, but it was obvious that I was new to this whole thing, and had never been seen around The Temple before this.

I hung around Blaze some more as well, he was with Zayn and I a lot of the times we studied, though he mostly just provided a distraction.

I found out, however, that Blaze didn't get to The Temple till he was ten. He had only spent five years here so far, so it made me feel a bit better that I wasn't the only one who hadn't spent their whole life here.

He was training under Master Ki-Adi-Mundi, and Zayn under Master Plo Koon, who I had talked to briefly once, and was immediately welcomed with open arms by the Kel Dor.

I was slowly becoming more used to being here, though I still got lost easily, which was the predicament I was in now.

I had thought I was heading back to mine and Cody's room after training, but somehow had ended up in the hanger, and no one looked a tad bit familiar.

I sighed for the millionth time in the past hour as I turned yet another corner, and didn't find anyone.

I lifted my head to the ceiling as I walked, grumbling, "I just wanted to take a shower and study, but no, I had to take the scenic route. Lucky me!"

As I continued to walk and grumble, I wasn't paying attention to where I was stepping, and tripped over something, falling right onto the hard ground.

I cursed myself under my breath as I hit, barely able to catch myself before my face pancaked into the floor.

"Woah! Are you okay? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to trip you." A boys voice stressed above me.

I froze. Shit, even better, I fell infront of someone.

'Ughhhhhhh!'

I rolled over, quite awkwardly, and looked up at who was talking.

A boy, not much older then me, with tan skin, silver hair that looked incredible soft, and eyes that were an enchanting icy blue. He had a long scar running over his left eye, a mid-helix peirceing on his right ear, and grease that covered his hands, face, and hair.

"Here, um, let me help you up." The boy reached his right hand down, and grabbed the upper part of my arm, pulling me up when I didn't say anything. "Again, I apologize. I didn't even know my feet weren't under the ship." He gestured to the Jedi Starfighter beside us.

I finally broke out of my shock and responded, "No! Its, uh, its not your fault. I wasn't paying attention and, I guess I tripped over your feet... But may I ask what your doing under the spacecraft?"

"Oh, uh, I'm a Mechanic. For the 212th Battalion actually. I haven't been with them long though." He explained, smiling bashfully.

"Oh, well that would make sense." I chuckled lightly, the boy joining in.

"I'm Xavier, by the way." He nodded in greeting.

I reached out my hand to shake his, "Its nice to meet you, I'm Fae."

Xavier took and shook my hand, smiling softly.

When we pulled back, I noticed the same grease that had been on him, was now staining my hands as well.

"Kriff, sorry about that." He, once again, apologized, grabbing a rag from his belt and handing it to me. "I forget its there sometimes."

I chuckled and wiped my hands off. "Its all good, don't worry. If I freak out about a little grease getting on me, I have other issues."

Xavier laughed. "Fair point, I guess."

I handed him back the rag once I was done with it. "Sorry for interrupting your work."

He shook his head, "Nah, its okay. I should probably take a break anyways. Been out here since the sun rose."

I shook my head, "Anyone who gets up that early is clinically insane." I took a step back, acting wary of him.

He just laughed and raises his hands in surrender. "I agree with you, trust me. I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't have to. But if it means I get a place to stay, free food, and get a paycheck? Hell yeah I'll loose some sleep!"

I laughed and tilted my head, observing him. "You seem awfully young to be doing this."

He placed a hand on his hip and smirked at me. "Says the girl who looks younger than."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Okay, but you don't know what I do."

"Well, if you're here you have to be with the GAR somehow." He paused. "Unless you're not, and in that case, I should be reporting you."

I chuckled, "Don't worry, I'm supposed to be here. I'm a padawan, under General Kenobi actually."

Xavier blinked then a look of realization passed over his face. "Ohh, you're that person? Zayn and Blaze told me about you."

I tilted my head, "You know them? How?"

He chuckled, "Its, uh...a long story. But Blaze introduced me to Zayn, who introduced me to Angeletta."

"Who is Angeletta?" I asked, never having heard the name before.

He smiled, "A little girl, she's a youngling and is really close to Zayn." He explained. "You'd love her, everyone does."

I nodded slowly. "Is she sweet or something?"

He chuckled, "Think of her a eight year old version of Zayn, but more bright-eyed and hopeful."

My eyes widened slightly at this description. Zayn was one of the most cheery people I have ever known, so to say someone was more than him really meant something.

'Maybe she's like I was at that age...'

I shook my head and smiled. "She sounds nice, I'll have to meet her sometime."

"We can do it now." He offered me. "She's usually is at the Temple gardens right now, we can go visit her."

I hesitated. "I barely know you, and have never heard of her... How do I know this isn't some trick?"

He shrugged. "You don't, I guess. But it'd be pretty dumb of me to try anything, with all the security around."

"I...I guess that's true..." I mumbled, then narrowed my eyes up at him. "But if you try anything, I-"

"I won't, I won't!" He quickly assured, chuckling nervously.

"Alright...Lead the way."

About fifteen minutes later, we were in The Temple Gardens, which I didn't even know existed before now.

But they did, and they were beautiful. There were trees, flowers, and plants of all kinds, most I had never seen before. They were vibrant and smelled amazing.

"Well, I didn't lie to you." Xavier spoke up after a moment. "Trust me now?"

I scoffed out a laugh. "It takes a lot more than that for me to trust someone."

He smirked. "Good, me too."

I smirked back, but before I could say anything, a girls voice cut through.

"Xavier!!" She cheered in delight, skipping over to us.

Her hair was so blond it was almost white, and her skin was the palest I'd ever seen. Her eyes were also a pale blue.

As she padded toward Xavier, he scooped her off the ground and threw her into the air like she weighed nothing.

"Hey, Angel." He greeted her, ruffling her hair once she was on the ground. "How're you today?"

She grinned up at him. "Good! Even better now that you're here."

He smirked, "Everything is better when I'm here."

"That is yet to be determined." I chimed in, chuckling.

The little girl turned to look at me, her eyes full of wonder. "Who are you?"

"Angel, this is Fae, the girl Zayn and Blaze have been teling us about." Xavier bent down and explained to her.

Realization washed across her little features at his words.

"Ohhh," She started, "The one Blaze thinks is cute-?"

Xavier's eyes widened and he looked at me. "Don't tell him you know that!"

Angeletta giggled adorably. "Why? She is pretty!"

I chuckled quietly and smiled at her. No one had ever complimented me much, and never my looks.

"Thanks, kiddo...And don't worry, I won't say anything." I assured, feeling a small blush form.

Angeletta bounced over to me, grabbing my hand. "You're new here." She stated. "I heard the older younglings say you're Master Kenobi's padawan."

I nodded and kneeled to her height. "That I am, kid."

She smiled more. "I like Master Kenobi. He's always nice, and tells good stories! So does Master Yoda!"

"Ah, well, you'll have to tell them to me sometime, since I missed out on them." I nudged her gently, already feeling a soft spot grow for her.

She gasped excitedly. "So you're gonna be here more??"

I chuckled, "I promise I'll try to be around some. I'm sure I'll find a way to fit you into my schedule."

She grinned widely and cheered, dancing and jumping around.

Xavier just chuckled as he watched her, and I knew this behavior was normal for her.

"Hey, Angel, its getting late, you should head inside." He told her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder to stop her spinning.

Her smile fell a bit. "But I want to stay with you and Fae."

"I know, but we'll be back." He sympathized, giving a small smil.

She frowned in disappointment but nodded. "Okay...As long as you promise."

"I do." He answered immediately, using his index finger to mark an 'X' over his heart. "And I'll bring Fae, too"

Angel smiled again and nodded, copying his movements with her finger, the gave him a tight hug and ran off, waving at us.

"Bye, Xavier! Bye, Fae!" She yelled as she ran back into The Temple, and I gave her a small wave back.

"Well, I should probably be heading back to my room." I admitted to him after the girl disappeared. It was late, and I didn't feel like getting in trouble for not being there.

Xavier nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I should probably get some food and then get some rest. Got more work to do tomorrow."

I smiled softly at him. "Well, best of luck to you then."

"You too, Fae." He smiled back. "See you around."

We both turned and went our separate ways, both having our own things to attend to.

I hurried to the Barracks, worried I'd be in trouble.

I opened the door and rushed inside, finding Cody sitting at the little table and tensing.

"Sorry, Cody." I started quickly. "I lost track of time and uh–" I paused when I looked at his face.

He didn't seem mad at all, or even concerned. He looked like he always did.

My steps faltered slightly and I cleared my throat. "Everything okay?"

Cody raised a brow, "I should be asking you that. You look terrified."

I swallowed and shook my head, coming closer. "I...I was just expecting you to be mad..."

He tilted his head and gave me a confused look. "Should I be?"

I sat across from him and shrugged, lowering my head. "Its...Its late. Aren't you mad that I wasn't back?"

I heard him chuckle. "No, I figured you were with those other padawans. Were you?"

I shook my head, still tense. I was confused on why he wasn't angry.

I was late, I hadn't told him where I was, and I wasn't even with someone he thought I would be with.

"I...N-No." I confessed, still scared he'd suddenly lash out. "I was with this guy I met, Xavier. He's the mechanic for the 212th apparently."

He nodded in understanding, "Yeah, he is. How'd you meet him?"

I shook my head, blinking. "Hang on, you're not mad???"

He chuckled. "Again, should I be? You got a guilty conscience?"

"I- No, I just-" I stammered, trying to wrap my head around it. "Are you just messing with me? Waiting for me to relax before you strike?"

Cody's gaze turned worried. "What are you talking about, kid?"

"I'm talking about how its nearly midnight and I'm just now showing up!" I expressed, eyes wide. "A-And you didn't know where I was. Aren't you mad or something??"

He frowned, "No...Kid, you being out for a while after classes and training isn't a problem. It wouldn't be unless I specifically asked for you to come back."

"But, I..." I started but was unable to finish, not even sure what I was going to say.

Cody was silent as he observed me, eyes full of concern.

When he finally did speak, his voice was softer than I had ever heard before from anyone.

"Did that used to happen with your parents?" He asked me gently. "Did they get mad if you were late?"

I hesitated but nodded slowly, looking down at the ground. "Is...Is that not normal?"

"I'm not really sure what's normal and what's not, I don't have parents." Cody admitted softly. "But I do know there is something called unecessary anger..."

"I..." I swallowed a lump then shook my head. "It wasn't unecessary." I looked up at him. "Moving on. Sorry."

His brows furrowed. "Wait, kid-"

"Its fine, Codes." I cut him off quickly, wanting a new topic immediately. "Promise."

Cody hesitated but gave in after a short moment. "Alright, fine. But only because I have to talk to you about something else."

I tilted my head. "What is it?"

"You have a mission."

****************************

"Wa-Wa-Wa-Wait. Wait." I waved my hands in the air. "I haven't even been here for two weeks, just started training a few days ago, but I'm leaving for a mission tomorrow?"

Cody sighed, "It appears so. The Jedi Council wants you to go to Onderon to see if you'll remember anything while you're there, so maybe you can–"

"Tell them what's gonna happen so they can make sure they win? Or in other words, use me to gain power?" I raised a brow, feeling anger rise up in me.

"Yeah, I...That sounds about right." Cody swallowed, dropping his gaze to the floor.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, "You knew that they were gonna do this, didn't you?"

Cody looked me in the eyes before sighing and turning his head again, ashamed, "Yeah, I did. So did Obi-Wan."

"And you went along with it?"

"I didn't agree with it, but I didn't have much of a choice but to go along with it. I don't know about Obi-Wan though." Cody came and sat by me on the ground. "I know he doesn't think you're ready for it..."

There was a silence that came over the both of us.

This mission wasn't supposed to be a difficult one but...

"They're right, Cody. I'm not ready. I might be going with three jedi and Rex, but if there's a huge battle and I barely know how to hold a gun... I'm not gonna make it back. Punching a droid isn't gonna do much." I grumbled, glaring at the floor. "There's no real point in me going anyway! They're just using me to try and get information about the future! They don't care i-if I die!"

"I know," Cody said, voice sad but understanding. "There's never a guarantee for safety on the battlefield, you'll come to realize that soon, but you're going with the best fighters the Republic has, I have hope that you will return."

"But what's the point if I'm just gonna be used? The Jedi said that the Separatists would do anything to gain my memory, who's to say the jedi and the Republic won't do the same?" My fist clenched to try and stop my shaking hands, but to no avail.

Cody didn't have an answer for that. He knew I was right, the Republic had already started using me for their benefit instead of helping me. And no one can stop them...

"I wish there was something I could do, truly. But what kind of power do you and I hold that would make them change their minds?" His head turned to look at me.

"None. And that's exactly how they want it." I looked down at my lap. "There's nothing we can do."

'Its always about power. There are none who climb far up in society that will reach down to pull someone up with them...' Its your fault for falling for it again. I thought you would've learned by now. 'Yeah. Me too.'

Cody and I sat in silence on the floor for a long time, both of us weighed down by the situation at hand.

After what felt like hours, I whispered shakily, "Y-You know...I always dreamt of coming here..."

I noticed Cody's head turn to me, but he didn't say a word, letting me continue.

"With all the shit I went through at home, between t-the yelling, my dad nearly k-killing me almost every time I-I was at his house, and my o-only friend ever betraying me... T-This place was my escape. My comfort." I sniffed, suddenly fighting oncoming tears. "B-But it's not what I thought it'd be... Atleast there, people would notice if I suddenly didn't show up to places... N-No one even knows me here..."

"I know you...I-I would notice." Cody urged quietly. "I wish I could do more. I'd take you out of this stupid war if I could but..."

"You can't." I nodded, the first tear falling. "I-I made the wish to be here...Now I pay the price."

"It shouldn't cost you your life though." Cody frowned deeply.

"But...It will." I sighed shakily, wiping the tear away and bringing knees to chest. "Who knew...my dream would one day kill me..."

Before I could speak more, Cody's arms were around me in a tight hug.

I tensed slightly, eyes widening. "Cody–"

"I know." He cut me off gently. "I know but... you need one, kid...just relax for a moment."

I hesitated, feeling awkward and unsure exactly what to do, but slowly, I made my shoulders untense and I leaned into him.

It...Was nice, oddly enough. It had been years since I felt like this...

A lump formed in the back of my throat and more tears formed in my eyes, threatening to spill over.

I tried to desperately hold them back, pressing into Cody's shoulder to hide them, but I had a feeling he knew already, whether he saw the tears or not.

I'm not sure how long we sat there, me fighting backs sobs, and him just holding me to his chest, knowing he needed the comfort along with me.

Eventually, we both drifted to our designated sleeping spots and fell asleep without another word.

[fives-lover]

Chapter 16: Little Soldiers

Masterlist | Previous | Next 

Languages - Again, I used Google Translate, sorry if it's wrong pokol = Hell (Romanian)

Cadets of all ages spread across the room. Black marks crisscrossed the white walls from a fight that had already passed through. They helped each other the best they could with the limited supplies and training they had. Blood covered several of their tunics and various spots on the floor. Training helmets had been thrown around in the chaos, several had been broken from shots taken to the head. Thin shattered training armor covered some already dead and seemed to have barely protected others. It wasn’t designed to keep them protected, just to simulate actual armor without the weight and to help their trainers keep track of them.

The cadets with her looked frustrated when they reached the barracks, one slid down the wall and shoved his face in his hands, ignoring the injured brothers scattered throughout the room. Another asked what they were going to do.

The old clone, 99, agreed. “A separatist victory means death for all of us. The cadet is right, what are we going to do?”

“We fight,” someone said from behind them. 

Rex and Cody came around one of the support walls for the bunks above them unexpectedly. The cadets stiffened as if they were debating on getting up to salute or not.

“But our training isn’t finished!” The younger one with long hair protested.

Fives jumped into the conversation and Rasha rolled her eyes, knowing some inspirational speech or something similar was coming soon. He loved to make them so he could keep morale up. 

“Look around. We’re one and the same. Same heart, same blood,” he hit his chest and watched the group in front of him, “your training is in your blood and my blood is boiling for a fight.” He stood to his full height with a menacing scowl.

“This is our home,” Echo chimed in, “this is our war.”

The pep talk seemed to work on the kids as they started getting back up. They looked like they were ready for anything. Rasha’s heart broke for them, they were just children.

The older cadets still had some baby fat around their cheeks and they were close to finishing their training, soon to be sent out to fight in this seemingly never-ending war. Soon to be sent out to fight and pray that it wasn't their last mission. Soon to be plagued by nightmares and constant anxiety and the frustrations that accompany them; the constant feeling of taking a step forward and two steps back.

“What are we going to do about weapons?” one asked. The rest deflated again.

“The armory! Just a few corridors away, here in the barracks! I can retrieve all the firepower we need.” 99 looked and sounded more excited than a tooka getting a new toy. “So, who’s ready to blast some droids?”

“Wait,” Rasha interjected, “99, where can I get more medical supplies? What I’ve got in this bag isn’t going to spread far enough for everyone over there.” She pointed at a group of injured clones unsuccessfully trying to bandage themselves up, apparently unaware of their presence or just ignoring them. “Is there anything close?”

“There’s a storage closet on the way! I’ll take you there too!”

“Thanks 99, but only if we’ve got time. We need to get ready for all those clankers coming. I can always figure something else out if I need to.”

“Rasha, it’s on the way. You get supplies while we get weapons. We’ll be okay,” Rex reassured.

“Those droids have been relentless ever since this whole thing started. Be careful.”

99 perked up again, “I’ll make sure they get everything, ma’am.”

She turned back to the group of boys she’d been with since she hid in a random room along a random hallway. “Any of you boys wanna help me?” 

They stood still, staring at her in surprise. 

“You’ll be able to learn some first-aid that’ll work best in the field. They can only show you so much in those rooms out there,” she jabbed her thumb over her shoulder toward the hallway, “it’s not like you’re ever gonna be shot at in those expensive sterile rooms normally.” They still hesitated, so she sat on the bench in the middle of the small area they had gathered in, mostly getting on their level. “You’d be helping me save your brothers. Anyone in here wanna be a brave medic when you finish your training?”

Fives and Echo rolled their eyes at her, and she shot them a look, almost telling them to shut up.

One of the older cadets stepped forward nervously, “I- uh.” He stood taller and cleared his throat, feigning confidence, “I do, ma’am.”

“Awesome, let’s get to work. Lead the way 99.”

The storage room was much closer than she thought it would be, just across the hall and a few doors down. The old man hobbled in front of her, entered the code, and continued on with an infectiously warm lopsided grin. She looked at everything on the shelves, quickly took inventory, and started grabbing supplies she knew were going to be needed.

Feeling how nervous the cadet was, she tried easing him by talking while she continued handing him more supplies. “Remind me to get my knife back from your brother. It’s one of my favorites. Got a name yet, kid?”

“Uh, no. Not yet. Nothing’s been sounding right. He likes his weapons, you might have to pry it out of his hands.” He sounded slightly more relaxed now that he had seen how much the brothers that had apparently served with her already seemed to trust her, but he was still guarded. 

She didn’t blame him. He didn’t know who she was and had never been in a situation like this before. He had never been forced to solely rely on the others around him for anything other than their runs through whatever training courses they had. He only ever needed his squad and whoever was training him.

“Well, whatever you pick, there’s no need to rush it. We even get some newbies that still don’t have a name yet,” she shrugged and handed him more supplies, “most of those ones usually end up having a name by the end of their first mission. It’s gotta be up to you. Well,” she chuckled, remembering the story of how Echo and several others had gotten their names, “ usually that’s how that works.”

He watched her, almost starstruck, “how do you know that we don’t start out with names, ma’am?”

“You can just call me Rasha, kid – let’s grab a couple more of these, is the bag too heavy?”

“Oh, that’s a pretty name.” He tested the weight of the bag, “no, it’s not.”

She smiled softly at him. “Thank you, let’s get more stuff into mine. We gotta hurry. I've been working with the Republic for a while and, like I said earlier, I'm one of the medics. Gotta know what your numbers are for the records. I’ll tell you some stories once we get out there and those clankers are all torn up, okay?”

He smiled widely at her, “yes, ma’am- err, Rasha.”

“What’s your number so I know what to call you for now?”

“CT-9735.”

“Nice to meet you 9735. I think we’ve got everything, now let’s get out there and save some brothers.” They grabbed their bags and ran back to the barracks.

The unforgettable grating sounds of metallic grinding and monotone robotic voices were starting to come down the halls for another attempt at killing the rest of the clones. The sounds and memories sent shivers down her spine. The anticipation of the coming battle and the resulting silence was never Rasha’s favorite.

Fives looked up from his rifle and a small pile of bombs. “There you are, Cap!”

Next to her, CT-9735 stiffened again. She ignored the change and asked,  “did any of you find anyone else alive?”

Her friends looked at the floor solemnly. “No… They were -”

“Okay, let’s get to work on the ones we know are alive then. What’s your plan so I know where we can try to take them.”

Cody explained their plans involving the cadets. Rasha had to push the guilty knot rising in the pit of her stomach that children had to be fighting like this, even if they were ‘engineered’ and trained for it. While he explained, she decided that the furthest wall would be the best place to move the ones stable enough. Fives and Echo built a small barricade of crates for extra cover.

“9735, are you good with a blaster yet?” Rasha asked in between helping other cadets get to the back wall.

“Yeah,” he shrugged, “I guess I’m good, Captain.”

The blonde one called out from behind them, “He’s one of the best in our classes! He’s more than just ‘good’!”

“Even better! I need that knife back when you’re done helping Captain Rex!” She yelled back. “It’s just Rasha right now, okay? You can call me Captain all you want later. I’m gonna need you on the lookout while you’re helping me. Think you can do that?”

His eyes widened, unsure of himself for a second. “I, uh-”

“There’s no time to freeze up. I’ll be on the lookout too. What’s rule number one out on the battlefield?”

He proudly answered, “never leave a brother behind.”

“Awesome. Now, rule number two? Well, I don’t really know everything they teach you here, so it’s rule number two for me: watch each other’s backs alongside your own.” 

He stiffened again, flicking his gaze anxiously from one brother to the next.

“They need you more than you need them when they’re hurt. You need to stay on high alert for everyone about everything. Remember to help them if you can but you have to keep yourself alive too. You can’t help them if you’re hurt or dead. Okay?”

He looked at several of the injured clones around him again before coming to some sort of resolve. “Okay Rasha, what do I need to do?” She pat his shoulder and they continued bringing more of his brothers over. 

“Get into position! They’ve almost reached the barracks!” Cody ordered from across the large room.

The sounds of grinding and the clinking of metal feet on metal floors got louder. Muffled blaster fire and screams sounded from outside the room. 

She saw CT-9735 tense next to her at the thought of what was coming. “Keep wrapping his arm tight. We need to stop the blood. Just focus on that right now.”

“But they’re-“

“I know 9735. I know they’re right there. But he’s here,” she patted the unconscious clone’s chest, “right now, he’s the top priority. There’s two of us that can shoot a blaster, plus anyone that's still got one within reach behind us” she gestured to his still conscious brothers along the wall then leaned forward to look directly at him and held his shoulders firmly, “nothing is going to happen to you if I can help it. You’re allowed to be nervous. You’re allowed to be scared, but you need to stay in the moment.” He seemed to relax minutely, and she chuckled, “pokol, you should’ve seen me after my first mission.”

He went back to wrapping, "what does that mean?"

"What?” She looked back up from the next cadet she started working on. “Pokol? Oh, it means Hell." She shrugged, "I'm a translator too so I know a few languages," she chuckled and went back to work.

A metallic knock came from the door on the other end of the room followed by a muffled mechanical voice telling them to open the door. 

Ice ran through her at the sound of a low mechanical growl paired with incessant coughing. She knew it was General Grievous outside and prayed that he wouldn't come in. She let out an impressive string of curses in several languages when Grievous’ growling and barked orders continued getting closer.

The barracks door opened, and blaster fire began shooting in every direction. Rasha and CT-9735 ducked lower behind the crates and moved closer to the middle of the support wall everyone had been moved to.

The blonde cadet that stationed himself in front of their barrier with minimal cover cried out in pain and brought himself around. He laid down on the floor in hopes of relieving the pain but neither of them could get to him just yet.  

“Do you know what to do with this?” CT-9735 asked, gesturing to a large gash running along one of his brother’s shoulders and a small blaster burn on his side.

She turned from the man she was working on when his torso was wrapped to her liking. “Yeah. Let’s get him to sit up so the blood can’t spread across the floor more. Grab some more bacta. I’ve got a few things right here too. It’s a good thing it’s fresh. There are lower chances of it getting infected if it’s taken care of as soon as possible.”

He did as he was told, staring solely at his brother’s shoulder when he came back, “he’s gonna be okay, right?”

Rasha sighed while she cleaned the gash. “I, uh," she paused, "it’s hard to tell at the moment. I don’t know how deep the blaster bolt cut through him, especially the lower one. I can’t tell if any tendons or arteries were hit yet. We have to do everything we can to make sure he lives while we can, this is a pretty bad one. Just remember that you can’t always save everyone. It’ll hurt like hell when you can’t but it’s not always something you can control. Now, come here and do what I tell you. You seem to learn better when you’re the one doing it.”

He looked away for a few seconds, blinking harshly. “Does it ever get better or,” he paused before looking back up to her with sorrow-filled eyes, “or hurt less when it happens?” 

The pain seemed to have taken over and made his brother pass out. Rasha continued showing him how to seal the teen’s shoulder back up and the best ways to keep it from reopening once he became conscious again. Rasha shook her head, “no, it doesn’t…” CT-9735 took a deep shuddering breath. “But now that we’ve got him fixed up, I think he’ll be alright. He didn’t lose as much blood as I thought he did and nothing too important was hit. I’m glad he came around for help as soon as he could. Captain Rex could learn a thing or two from him. Now, we just need to watch him. Get back to helping them and I’ll go check on things out there now that we don't have any immediate cover fire.”

She poked her head above the crates just enough to see past and was momentarily blinded by an explosion. Droid parts flew in every direction possible, and she ducked down quickly, almost getting smacked by a droid’s arm in the face.

“Cadets, now!” Rex yelled. The group of younger cadets she had been with earlier slid their bunks out of the wall and began firing too, catching the droids in a crossfire.

She looked back down and saw 99 running in her direction and felt her heart clench. “Stay here. Just keep patching up the ones you can.” 

She ran from behind their cover, fired several shots, and tackled the old man. Her shoulder felt like it was lit on fire in the process, but she pushed past it and dragged the old man behind one of their walls. She’d have to see if she hurt him later, it was about making sure everyone lived during the fight rather than making sure everyone was unscathed. “ 99! What were you thinking?! ” 

“They need more bombs, ma’am.”

“They’ll be fine! Stay behind here with us until everything is done,” she ordered and handed him the fuller bag. “We need you to give us supplies. You’ll help save more of your brothers if you can do that. He needs more wrapping anyway.”

“Rasha! You’re hurt!” CT-9735 called out.

“I’m fine. We need to take care of your brothers. As long as I can still use my hands, I can still help.” She looked at her shoulder and saw the blaster burns that had barely caught her, grabbed a scrap piece of gauze, and hastily wrapped it until they could do something about it later. “The fight is still going, so we’re still going.”

99 started getting up. “There isn’t anymore, ma’am. I’ll go get some.”

“No, 99. You’re going to stay right there,” she shoved him back onto the bench. “There’s still supplies in there that we can use. I told you earlier that we can figure things out if necessary. Hand me my knife.” She took it and saw 99’s disappointed expression and immediately felt guilty but needed to get to work. She figured that she could apologize later.

“What do you need the knife for? We don’t have any more gauze to cut,” her helper asked.

“We’ve got plenty we can cut still.” She grabbed the bottom of her shirt and began cutting it, ripping a long patch off for him to use. “You run out of shit all the time out there. You make do with what you’ve got, now let’s keep going. If you need more, use your own shirt or see if one of your brothers will let you cut up one of theirs.”

He sat there staring at the torn khaki fabric in shock. There was no chance that a Kaminoan would have ever done something like that to save anyone, let alone a clone. Especially not a clone. He never considered that their clothes could be used as bandages if needed. He was entranced watching her work and tried to soak in as much knowledge as she would give in the short amount of time they had together.

She could see how worn the small battle had made 99 and all of the cadets when it was finished. CT-9735 looked to be worse for wear and he had mainly stayed in one area during the whole thing. Rasha chuckled when she remembered that she had probably looked like that, if not worse, when she started with the 501st. It felt like ages ago at this point.

Cody’s comm went off with General Shaak Ti informing that the droids had been pushed back to the main hangar and everyone collectively sighed in relief. The kids hiding in the bunks at the beginning looked around in excitement. They’d survived and shot down a bunch of droids that weren’t just there for target practice.

Rasha and CT-9735 finished patching up the ones that made it through and needed immediate care, then finally let 99 go get more supplies after being checked for injuries as well. She was sure they were a sight to behold as they got closer if she looked anything like the cadet walking next to her did. He had blood across his face and clothes. His hands were covered in even more of it. She was sure that she looked worse through the torn clothes and messy hair. The looks on the younger cadets’ faces helped confirm the assumption.

“The ones that made it through should be stable enough to wait for more care once the Kaminoans are ready to start taking men in again, sir,” Rasha reported to Cody, wiping her face off in what was left of her t-shirt thankful she had an undershirt on. “This one did great with keeping them going by the way,” she elbowed CT-9735’s arm and he stiffened like a slab of duracrete again.

“Oh, did he now?” Rex stepped forward with his arms crossed, suppressing a proud grin. Rasha knew he was messing with him, but the cadet looked terrified.

“Yes, Rex. Now stop being so mean!” She threw her good arm across the cadet’s shoulder, leaned in, and whispered, “he’s just playing with you. He won’t admit it, but he’s a huge softie.” CT-9735 laughed loudly and Rex gave her a look. She just shrugged and acted innocent. Talking normally now, she chuckled and playfully shook him, “but really, you did amazing, kid. If you’re hurt, you better make sure you’re on his radar. He'll patch you right up.” 

“Thank you, Rasha.”

“Eh, it was nothing,” she shrugged, “you’ll do amazing out there in the field if you keep going at it like you just did.”

“Well, thank you for that too, but, uh…” He looked away nervously before shooting his gaze straight back to her and smiled, “thank you for my name.”

“I gave you a name?” She looked between the rest of the men, eyebrows raised. She stared at Fives, and he had the biggest smile possible. No one was giving her any other indication of how she should react, so she felt like an idiot.

CT-9735 kept looking at her instead, tuning them all out. “Yeah… ‘Radar.’ I like how it sounds!” He beamed at her, thankful that she was able to teach him so much and that he’d finally found his name.

“Oh,” she looked back at Fives, still not sure what to do. “Uh, you’re welcome?”

Fives finally jumped in, to her relief, “it suits you, kid. I’m sure your batchmates would’ve been happy with the name!”

Rasha looked at the back of the room. “Wait CT- uh, Radar, that one blond kid that was with us that you were so worried about, is he one of your batchmates?”

“Yeah!" He lit up and looked back at the wall of crates, "He was breathing better when we came over here! His name is Carnage!”

Rasha chuckled, “that’s... an interesting name. Any story behind that one?”

“He always destroys the training areas.”

Echo dramatically gasped and brought a hand up to his chest, “and here I thought that everyone tried to be nice and take it easy on 99 here!”

“Aw, it’s nothing guys. Really. Carnage isn’t even the worst one.” 99 smiled again and it spread across the group.

“When are you guys supposed to take your test?” Echo asked.

Radar looked upset again, “it was supposed to be tomorrow morning, but Carnage and I don’t have much of a squad to go through it with anymore and I doubt there’s even a course left anyway, plus all the rebuilding that we’re gonna need to help with.”

Rasha chimed in, "when we were on our way here, nothing looked too bad. Just where those ships pierced the buildings. I'm sure the course is fine." 

Cody put a firm hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “Everything will work out in the end. You just have to trust in everyone else too.” He let go and gave Rasha a stern look, “now you, Captain Skohl, are going to let us fix up your arm - no. No buts. Get back there and Radar here will get to work.” He pointed to the back of the room where the medical supplies had been replenished.

She closed her mouth and grumbled out a “yes, sir.”

“That’s not a very good example to these cadets, Captain,” Cody jabbed at her.

She turned to walk away without saying anything and flipped Cody off behind her, “yes, sir,” she enunciated clearly, using the finger as a weak salute, receiving shocked gasps from the kids and hysterical laughs and wheezing from Echo, Fives, and Rex. He crossed his arms, and she could feel the glare burning through her skull. 

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