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#// here you go lol enjoy the flames
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THE BEST OF PRIORITY: TUCHANKA (PART 1)
Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Urdnot Wrex, and Urdnot Bakara With: Dr. Mordin Solus, Primarch Adrien Victus, Dalatrass Linron, Urdnot Wreav, and Comm. Specialist Samantha Traynor This will be the defining moment of Krogan history... Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#urdnot wrex#mordin solus#mass effect#mass effect 3#me3#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#tuchanka is here baby!! she’s another two parter bc she was a chonky one for good cutscenes#i was gonna enjoy some ME3 last night bc i have to redo the coup for reasons™️ but scottina released reegar returns#AND THATS MY FAVORITE QUARIAN ON THE CITADEL (plus everything scott makes is stonks!!)#so we restored the ME3 install and divvied up the tuchanka footage into gifs instead while textures reinstalled lmao#but onto the gifset commentary as per my usual tag ranting: i adore tuchanka!! it’s one of my favorites for priority missions!!#wrex and bakara have some absolutely FLAME dialogue throughout the mission (especially bakara’s speech)#i usually pick a quote i like from the mission to subquote the post with and i wanted to use bakara’s but i decided it made a better gif!#also wrex head butting wreav is hot as fuck thanks for that one wrex you kinda ate on that#the first set is kinda boring compared to the second set but i love that the dalatrass comes in#and tries to make a shady little underhanded deal with shep!!! like that’s one of the more interesting ME3 plot points imo#i myself would never side with her bc i love wrex too much and disagree with genophage politics too much#but for her to come in with a shady little deal and be like ‘you should sabotage the cure and we’ll help you instead’?#i gotta respect her shady motives even if i hate her tbh lol#i will say i wish companions had a bit more dialogue in the cutscenes in the front end (and the back end too)#priority tuchanka feels a little? light? on the commentary from EDI and james#they both deserved so much more dialogue during the mission bc this is SUCH A BIG ONE??? this is such a huge deal???#i wish they had more to say here!!! bc i feel like they would both have so many thoughts on everything going on!!! ESPECIALLY kalros??#and wreav?? the city of the ancients?? like there's so many concepts that get the BAREST of touches and i wish they were touched on more!!#bc the city of the ancients is the best part of the mission imo.. like it's gorgeous and i wish we saw just a touch more of it!!#like c'mon i KNOW the companions would have SOOOO much to say in the bigger conversations!!!
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crawlingforwardx · 6 months
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🔥
NONVERBAL RP STARTERS
🔥 pull my muse down by the collar/by their clothes - in a sexy way | in reference/continuation of ( x )
Coming back to her house after their fake date had been a huge mistake. Between the movie, which had a number of scenes heavily leaning into some very spicy romance, her falling asleep on his damn thigh, and the well meaning (but not at all helpful in his current state of bothered) offer to stay the night, Steve felt like he was literally on fire and one small touch away from being completely consumed by it.
As if that weren't already bad enough, he just goes and makes it worse by agreeing to stay the night. "It is late..." He answers in as normal a voice as he can manage. Standing up in hopes that putting a little distance between them will be helpful, she follows in suit and they start to head upstairs. All the while, he's giving himself a little talk down. Steve would be staying in the guest room, which was good because there would be no temptation with her sleeping in a completely different room all the way down the hall. It would almost be like he wasn't sleeping over at all.
By the time they made it upstairs to the guest room, he was already feeling a little better about the whole arrangement. At least he was until Alice went to the closet to grab him an extra blanket because that was when everything went wrong. She was struggling to reach it off the top shelf and when Steve moved to help her, she finally grabbed hold of it and went to turn around... And turned straight into him. Chest to chest. They briefly made eye contact and then they went for it at the same time; lips crashing into each other with a hunger so strong, it was all consuming.
Tilting his head as he deepens the kiss, Steve wraps an arm around her waist as he guides her back toward the bed, acting purely on instinct at this point. There was a barely even a coherent thought in his head at this point, he just knew that he wanted her and wanted her bad. Gently shoving her down onto the bed, Alice reacts with equal force as she reaches up grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pulling him down on top of her. Breathing heavy and heart rate through the roof, his mouth eagerly seeks hers out again, tongue tracing the inner outline of her lips.
If Steve was on fire before, he felt like he was in a pit of lava now. Briefly pulling away from her to yank his shirt up over his head, he quickly returns his lips to hers, lingering there for a bit before he starts to trail off toward her neck. Meanwhile his hand is resting at her waist, slowly inching up her shirt and fingers lightly brushing against her skin. As soon as his hand reaches the lining of her bra though, it's like a bucket of ice water is thrown over both of them.
"Shit!" He breathes out as the two of them quickly separate, reality dawning on both. A moment ago they were grabbing at each other seeing if they could possibly get any closer and now they couldn't put enough distance there. "Shit." He swears again more quietly, scouring the floor for his shirt and swiftly pulling it back over his head. This whole fake dating and then that stupid movie... Yeah, that had been a bad idea.
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𝙵𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎 𝙼𝚎 𝙰 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛
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⤷ Credits: Pinterest
Marcus Acacius x F!reader | WC : 2.1k | Proof read : NO
Summary : The night before a battle, General Acacius has something to tell the blacksmith's daughter.
Warnings: SMUT, LOSS OF VIRGINITY, unprotected pinv (wrap it before you tap it), masturbation F and M, implied age gap, scars, breeding kink
A/n : I wrote this in like an hour so...enjoy my horny Roman general smut with a touch of lovely dovey bc ovulation, Also I'm very dyslexic lol
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The needs of any general are important, and yet your father handles the most critical element of all: crafting the armor and swords meant for battle. Among all your father's customers, General Acacius was your favorite. Alluring and tempting, he was a force of nature, and he knew it. He almost never lost a fight. If your father knew about your infatuation, he might just muster the strength to overpower the general himself.
But that didn't stop the glances. You dreamed and prayed to the goddess Venus that he would take you as his wife or even a whore.
You helped your father polish the swords and armor for the men. This week, another battle of the gladiators loomed on the horizon. It was late, the night sky high above as you rubbed polish along a chest plate. The sound of an approaching horse made you stand tall. It was a single horse, a white steed adorned with armor you knew all too well. It galloped up to where you were, at the part of the blacksmith's forge that was outside. The firelight illuminated his face as he spoke.
"Evening, fair one," General Acacius said, his voice as smooth and commanding as ever. He dismounted, his gaze never leaving you. "Is your father about?"
You shook your head, your heart pounding in your chest. "He has retired for the night, General."
Acacius stepped closer, the flickering flames casting shadows on his chiseled features. "Then it is fortunate that I find you here. I have something important to discuss."
You swallowed hard, the anticipation building within you. "What is it, General?"
He looked down, his expression softening. "Tomorrow, I march into battle. A battle that carries great risk. And I cannot go without first telling you what is in my heart."
Your breath caught in your throat. "General, I—"
He raised a hand, silencing you gently. "No titles now, please. Call me Marcus."
"Marcus," you whispered, the name feeling strange and intimate on your lips.
He stepped even closer, so close you could feel the warmth of his body, smell the faint scent of leather and steel. "For too long, I have admired you from afar. Your beauty, your spirit, your kindness. You have captured my heart, and I can no longer keep it hidden."
You felt your cheeks flush, a mixture of disbelief and overwhelming emotion flooding through you. "Marcus, I... I never thought..."
"I know," he interrupted softly. "And I do not ask for an answer now. I only ask that you know the truth. Should I fall in battle tomorrow, I want you to know that I love you. With all that I am, I love you."
Tears welled in your eyes as you reached out to touch his hand. "Marcus, please come back to me."
He brought your hand to his lips, kissing it tenderly. "I will fight with all my strength, for you give me reason to survive. But if fate decrees otherwise, remember my words and hold them close."
As he turned to leave, you called out to him, your voice trembling. "Marcus, I love you too."
He paused, looking back at you with a fierce determination in his eyes. "Then I shall return. For nothing, not even the gods themselves, can keep me from you."
Marcus closed the distance between you, his eyes darkening with an intensity that made your heart race. He reached out, his fingers brushing against your cheek before pulling you into a deep, passionate kiss. His lips were firm and demanding, yet tender as if savoring every moment. You melted into his embrace, the world around you fading into nothingness.
When he finally pulled away, his eyes were ablaze with desire. "Come with me," he whispered, his voice husky and commanding. "We do not have much time."
Without waiting for a response, he took your hand and led you away from the forge, his grip strong and unwavering. You followed him through the shadows, the moonlight casting an ethereal glow on the path ahead. The air was thick with anticipation and the promise of what was to come.
He guided you to the far side of the property, where the cattle were kept. The soft sounds of the animals settling for the night filled the air, creating a backdrop of calm amid the storm of your emotions. Marcus led you into a small, secluded barn, the scent of hay and earth surrounding you.
Inside, the dim light revealed a space both intimate and hidden from prying eyes. Marcus turned to you, his expression a mix of determination and vulnerability. "I have waited too long for this moment," he said, his voice low and fervent. "I need you, here and now."
You nodded, your own desire mirroring his. "Then take me, Marcus. I am yours."
He pulled you into a passionate kiss, his lips firm and demanding. His hands slipped under the shoulders of your gown, letting the fabric dip. You gasped, the cool night air grazing your exposed skin. He looked at you intently, his brow furrowed with concern.
"Have you been taken?" he asked, his voice low and husky.
"I'm no stranger to my own touch," you admitted, feeling small and vulnerable under his gaze, "but to a man?" You shook your head, your heart pounding.
A flicker of something dark and primal flashed in his eyes. He pulled your dress down the rest of the way, letting it fall into the hay scattered across the barn floor. You instinctively moved to cover yourself, but he was quicker. His hands were on your sides, warm and possessive. He kissed you once more, his hands moving upwards, palming your breasts as he began to kiss your neck. You gasped, planting your hands against his armor.
"Marcus," you breathed.
He stopped kissing you and gently patted your shoulder, a silent command to lie down in the hay. The loud clang of his armor hitting the ground sent a jolt of excitement through you. He stripped off his underclothes, revealing himself to you. Immediately, you jumped to your knees, meeting him on the ground. You looked at his body in shock and awe, the scars scattered across his muscular frame telling stories of battles fought and won.
Worry etched your brow as you reached out to trace the outline of his muscles and scars, getting lost in the feeling of his skin under your fingertips. He lifted your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze.
"They're healed," he murmured, his voice tender. "I feel no pain."
 He caressed your cheek with his thumb before pulling you in for another kiss, cradling your head as he laid you back down. “Touch yourself,” he commanded softly, his eyes dark and hungry.
Your eyes widened at his request, but the slight smile on his lips and the warmth in his eyes gave you the courage to comply. You brought one hand to your clit, using slow circles to work yourself up, while the other hand roamed your body, seeking out the places that felt the best. You closed your eyes, small moans escaping your lips.
You frowned slightly, still concerned, but he caressed your cheek with his thumb before pulling you in for another kiss. He cradled your head as he laid you back down. "Touch yourself," he whispered, his voice a seductive command.
Your eyes widened at the suggestion. "Go on," he almost chuckled at the slight shyness you showed.
With trembling hands, you took one to your clit, using slow circles to work yourself up. Your other hand grasped your breast before roaming your body, seeking out whatever felt good in the moment. You closed your eyes, letting small moans escape your lips. You brought your hand that had been circling your clit to your mouth, opening your eyes to see what Marcus was doing.
He watched you with a hunger that made your pulse quicken. As you started sucking on two of your fingers, he stroked his length at the same speed, thick and overwhelming. Precum lined his cock, glistening in the dim light. You let your fingers out of your mouth with a pop, and he growled a low, primal sound. You spread your legs further, looking him dead in the eyes as you inserted two fingers into your wet cunt, thrusting them slowly while maintaining eye contact. Soft moans spilled from your lips, your back arching.
Marcus cracked, stopping your hand with a firm grip. You whined at the sudden stop of pleasure, but he pulled your hand from your cunt and sucked at the slick-covered fingers, savoring every bit. He released your hand with a pop, then spit into his own before rubbing it onto his cock. He leaned down, kissing your neck to distract you from any discomfort.
He rubbed his dick along your folds before pushing into you slowly. The action made you claw at his back and let out a yelp. You'd managed to put three fingers in your cunt at one point, but nothing compared to the size and mass of Marcus Acacius.
"Shh, shh, the pain will end soon," he whispered, kissing your forehead. He began to thrust into you slowly, being careful not to cause more pain. Eventually, the discomfort faded, replaced by a growing pleasure. You began to moan, and Marcus groaned, planting a hand on your hip while the other wandered up and down your body.
He bit his lip, a bead of sweat forming along his forehead, his curls sticking to his skin. His strokes became more forceful, and you started to moan louder, feeling yourself nearing the edge.
"M-more, General," you gasped for air before continuing, "more."
He growled in response, speeding up. His free hand moved to rub your clit, his thrusts harder and faster. The hay scratched at your skin, but you didn't care. Your hands gripped his forearms as you felt your pussy start to clench down on his cock. Your orgasm crashed over you with a loud moan, and Marcus continued thrusting, fucking you through your climax with sloppy, erratic movements.
With a deep moan, he spilled his hot seed inside you, filling you completely. He kissed you passionately before pulling out and collapsing beside you in the hay. You lay there together, bodies entwined, the afterglow of your shared pleasure enveloping you. The cool night air mixed with the warmth of your bodies, creating a cocoon of intimacy that made the world outside seem distant and unimportant.
Marcus turned to you, his breath still heavy, his eyes softening as they met yours. "I will return," he said, his voice a blend of steel and tenderness. "I will win this battle, and when I do, I will make you my bride."
You felt a surge of emotions, hope, and love intertwining with the remnants of your passion. "Marcus, you must be careful," you whispered, your fingers tracing the lines of his strong jaw. "I couldn't bear to lose you."
He took your hand, pressing a kiss to your palm, then your wrist, before bringing it to rest over his heart. "With you in my thoughts, I am invincible," he declared. "Every sword I raise, every enemy I face, it will be for you. The gods themselves could not keep me from your side."
You gazed into his eyes, feeling the weight of his promise settle deep within your soul. "And I will be here, waiting for you," you vowed, your voice trembling with emotion. "My heart, my body, they are yours."
He smiled a rare and beautiful thing that made your heart skip a beat. "Then it is settled," he said, his tone resolute. "I will fight with all my might, knowing that my bride awaits me."
He shifted, rising from the hay with the grace and power of the warrior he was. You watched as he dressed, every movement deliberate and filled with purpose. The sight of his scars, his muscles, the very essence of his strength, only made you more certain of the love you felt for him.
Once fully dressed, he turned back to you, offering a hand to help you rise. You took it, feeling the roughness of his skin, the strength of his grip. He pulled you close, his lips finding yours in a kiss that was both a promise and a farewell.
"I will return to you," he whispered against your lips, his breath warm and reassuring.
"And I will be waiting," you replied, your voice filled with a mixture of longing and certainty.
With one final, lingering kiss, he stepped away, mounting his white steed with the same grace and power that had always captivated you. As he rode off into the night, you watched him go, your heart swelling with pride and love.
The barn seemed empty without him, the silence heavy with the weight of his absence. But as you gathered your gown and dressed, you felt a new sense of purpose. You would prepare for his return, ready to welcome him back as your victor and your husband.
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tteokdoroki · 1 year
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✩ — ANGELS SHOULD NEVER FALL THIS FAR FROM HEAVEN ⁀➷ everyone believes satoru gojo to be an angel. your mother considers her new son to be a blessing, even if he’s bratty and spoiled. but never once did think teasing him would make your step-brother to act on such ungodly desires. (3.2K)
warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact ! nsfw, smut, pwp, college!au, religious imagery, step-cest, groping, fingering, ‘just the tip’, exhibitionism, clothed sex, male masturbation, slight degradation, bratty behaviour, use of oneesan, unprotected sex, ruined orgasms, cumplay, fem!reader, step-bro!gojo.
things to note. lol sorry it’s been a while !! trying a new layout also posting this into the void while i work on kinktober eee !! idk i’ve had a rough time trying to write a one shot so im glad i could make this !! special thanks to @kishibye for beta reading. i hope you enjoy this bestie boos ily <3
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“what are you doing?” there’s a sharp edge to the tone of satoru’s voice, splayed across his tongue that holds back a stream of curses. his eyes speak fury in their piping hot flames of wild cerulean as he watches you enter the kitchen and shoot straight for the snack cupboard.
you can feel the weight of his gaze as it crosses the slopes of your body, from the back of your head, twirling around your curves before ultimately falling to your behind.
playing innocent, you stand on your tip toes and grasp at the bag of chips you’re after. the ones on the top shelf. “whaddya mean ‘what am i doing’?”
“what do you mean what do i mean?” your step brother retorts childishly, as if you’re two kids fighting on a playground at recess.
you click your tongue and pay him no mind. “don’t be such a baby, satoru,” you wave a hand in his face in a haughty manner. “use your big boy words.”
gojo suppresses a whine when your shirt rides up and reveals your skin to gorgeous eyes. he lets it gargle around in his throat like the sting of cool mouthwash, before striding over to you — grabbing the chips and slamming the cupboard shut so hard it makes you jump.
“you can’t just walk around dressed like that.”
he gestures to your get up — the clothes you wear when nobody’s home. your sapphire silly and scallop-edged panties, your old and ratty band t-shirt haphazardly thrown on.
“why?” you turn around to come face to face with your younger (step)brother, noting the way his stare hones in on the plush meat of your thighs as you squish them together — leaning back against the kitchen counter.
“my friends are coming over.”
“so, what’s the big deal?” there’s something about pissing gojo off that entertains you. he’s a brat by all means, raised with a silver spoon in his mouth and daddy’s dollars tucked into his pockets. whenever there’s a problem, all it takes is a classic ‘toru temper tantrum and your parents are on the scene to fix things for him. he’ll never know the hardships of being raised by a single mother, always having a little less than most. he walks around in his own little bubble of riches - and you can’t help but want to pop it. “shoko thinks i’m cool and geto will probably jack off to me later. it’s whatever.”
“but it’s not whatever,” you can practically see satoru fight the urge to stomp his foot like a petulant child — even going as far to have the audacity to pout down at you. “you’ll just embarrass me. so do us both a favour and put some clothes on, nobody wants to see all that ‘round the house.”
“do you own this house?”
“no but i-“
“but your daddy does. and daddy isn’t here! so shut up, satoru!” jabbing a finger into his chest, you smile up at your not-so-little little step-brother, evilly. “i make the rules.”
“oh fuck you. all you do is mooch off of my dad, princess. you wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for your mom whoring it out for him.” he sneers in response, upper lip curling into a distasteful snarl like a dog with a stranger on its territory. his words, though cruel and foul, are far from the truth and you know that he doesn’t mean it. satoru is a brat that throws acid laced words at anyone who gets in his way — yourself included.
even though you agree that your parents tied the knot all too fast — barely giving the two of you a chance to get to know each other as siblings. they were in love and far too happy for the rivalry between their children to get in the way. you know that the fact pissed gojo off to no end, he hated how your mother doted on him and how he’d always needed to fight for his father’s attention. now it certainly wasn’t ever going to be on him. but the two women in his house instead.
your poor, spoiled, baby brother.
however, you won’t let his words and how he projects onto you, hurt you. “whoops! looks like i dropped my will to give a fuck!” whilst pretending to drop your snack, you bend over in front of him to reveal inches of beauty marked and blemished flesh, drawing hungry seafoam eyes to the bounce of showing your ass — testing your little step brother. “i don’t care satoru, i’m older.”
satoru’s mouth snaps shut after moments of wordlessly opening and closing. he stands frozen on the spot, as if he can’t seem to process the very idea that his older step-sister had just flashed him to prove a point.
but just when you think you’ve won, the silver-haired brat is pressed right up behind you, forcing your body to bend over the cold marble counter that instantly has your nipples hardening against the icy surface. heat rushes to your face, blossoming just under the barrier of your skin as his hard on nestles it’s way between your ass cheeks — a symphony of your surprised squeaks echoing through the modern kitchen.
“hey! what the hell do you think you’re doing?”
instead of responding, he pushes your head down against the counter — circling his increasingly wet erection against your behind, manhandling the globes of flesh back onto his dick. “not so fun, is it.” he coos down at you, voice chilly and full of condescending highs and lows. “yanno…you’re awfully mean to me.”
saliva pools on your tongue, weighing it down in your mouth like a paperweight as satoru’s girth slips downwards, seedy tip brushing over panty clad and your swollen clit. “aren’t oneesan’s s’pposed to take care of their baby brothers?” his breath is hot and ragged against your ear as gojo haunches over you, caging you in like a wild animal as you thrash and writhe under his touch.
you can’t even bring yourself to feel an ounce of shame when gojo’s left hand dances between your tangled limbs and slips past the frilly band of your underwear — ghosting over the throbbing pearl laying between your sticky pussy lips. “step…step brother!” you whinge at the tingle of pleasure that blooms in your lower tummy and spreads like angel wings throughout the rest of your body. 
satoru takes turns playing with you, alternating between his nimble, skilled fingers and his seedy girth that smears precum all over your inner thighs and panties. “like that even fuckin’ matters.” he laughs, twisted and proud. “could you get off like this? yeah i think you could…. you’re already so wet. just from grinding on your little brother’s cock.”
your legs grow shaky at his ministrations, beads of your juices oozing from your empty entrance to stain the man’s sweats, slicking him up as if it’s a signature of your claim. “‘toru!” you gasp, eyes rolling back into the depth of your skull. “m-more.”
“look at how fast you fold for me…” he pushes up your shirt so that the fabric pools around your waist — pawing at the fat there, massaging your hips softly as if he isn’t violently, cruelly rubbing one out on your achey pussy. “i don’t think you’re in a position to ask me for more, big sis.” satoru taunts, a heavy hand coming down on the bare skin of your ass, leaving a raw handprint in its place. “such a nasty slut, i bet you’d let me fuck you like this too. out in the open, where anyone could catch us.”
you yelp in surprise at the feeling of gojo’s messy, cream coated cockhead nudge at your entrance from over your panties — a slender finger pulling the soaked material to the side so he can fuck you with his tip. “oh, i bet you’d like that, huh baby?” he continues to purr, jutting his hips forward ever so slightly — feeding your greedy cunt a few more inches of him. satoru’s barely sheathed inside of you, but you’re already stretching deliciously around what he’s given you. he’s fat, girthy just as he is long and his mushroom tip drags along sensitive spots in your walls you didn’t even know you had.
 he hasn’t even fucked you properly yet.
you sob, wail and writhe on your little step brother’s cock, nails clawing at the marble counter while your breath escapes you. “satoru, please fuck me. ‘m sorry… sorry—!”
“shh big sis, you’re being too loud,” he cups a hand over your mouth. gojo eases two digits past your plump lips to pacify your cries as he shallowly pumps his wet cock into the heat of your sex — gritting his teeth to hide his own moans. “we…fuck, you’re tight as shit… we wouldn’t want my friends to know that you dress like a slut for my cock, would we?”
you shake your head with a muffled moan, suckling the taste of yourself from gojo’s fingers and breathing heavily through your nose. “no, we wouldn’t. that’s right. good girl, oh shit.”
satoru laughs, a little cocky and a little drawn out in a long, whiny whimper over the wet slap of the backs of your thighs in the front of his own. but he trembles from behind you, like his legs are about to give out every time your creamy cunt sucks a little more of him in. it’s a miracle he’s managed to hold you both up.
guilt wracks your body intertwining with the red blood cells coursing through your veins and carrying limited oxygen to your brain — your head practically empty at how your little brother ruins you on half of his fat cock. this isn’t right, this is completely wrong and yet you feel yourself coming undone — weak in the knees and shaky in your lips, the dam in your lower tummy threatening to burst at any second and flood the room in an erotic river of your arousal. 
pushing your head off of the counter, you lean into satoru, throwing your ass back onto him in rhythm with the harshness of his thrusts. everything is hotter, heavier and you can’t even think about how much of a bad step-sister you are when he’s dominating your body like this. the silky locks of satoru’s silvering hair press against your shoulder and he wraps a fist in the fabric of your shirt to pull you further back onto his cock. 
“‘m gonna c-cum, oh god!” you squeal, flinching as your juices crudely slap against the kitchen floor. “i’m so close!”
he pants into your ear like a desperate dog, fully wrapping himself around you and trapping you against the counter so that you have nowhere to go except towards your high. “yeah?” gojo breathes heatedly, temperate breath cascading over the back of your neck and only adding fuel to your fire of desire. “i can tell, you get like this. all needy ‘n cute when you’re about to cum.” 
his words have you clenching around his bulbous tip every time it pushes up against the pleasure spots you didn’t even know you had — your arousal catching in the pretty blue veins that spiral around the length of gojo’s shaft. “you don’t think i can’t hear you, big sis? late at night when you think everyone’s sleepin’….” his whistle tone moans are quickly replaced by deep growls and grunts that only just manage to escape from between the gritted rows of your step brother’s pearly whites. “when you stuff those tiny fingers into that tight little hole and—“
he reaches down between your mess of slick soaked limbs to land a harsh smack against your quivering pussy, sending the foamy ring of white where your bodies join flying about the place. “—and make yourself cum to the thought of me?” he continues, breathing ragged and laughing at you again when you cry out in a mix of pain and pleasure. 
“s-satoru!”
he soothes you with quick circles over your swollen clit and kisses to your shoulder — being careful not to leave marks. “oh did that hurt, baby? am i  the mean one now?” licking a stripe up the side of your face and tasting the sweat on your glistening skin, satoru rambles on — filling you up with praises and copious amounts of precum. “you know i—fuck— you know i love you. my precious big sister, so fucking good to me. let’s make you cum, yeah?” 
you’re allowed to rut back on him for a little longer, since he loves the sound of his name whirling around messily on your tongue, all high-pitched and sugar coated for him. if only you knew how badly he’d wanted you, how pissed he was when his father went on to marry your mother. gojo has wanted you since the very first night you met — his every waking thought has been carefully carved to lust after you, think of your eyes, your smile, your lips. fuck, everything about you has satoru under some kind of spell. 
“r-right there. right there, t-there!” you chant the words like they’re the a prayer, as if they’re the only ones you know, allowing satoru to throw you through the loop of pleasure until you’re too far gone to stay on the ride. 
angling his slender hips upwards, his cockhead bares down on the gummy centre of your g-spot just has he buries himself inside of you — right up to the hilt. “h-here? this where you want me, big sis?” gojo’s amused gasp turns into a coo when you let out a meek hum of agreement, babling wild nonsense and drooling into the counter you’re pressed against. “mmhm, got you creamin’ around me already. so cute, so good when you listen. when you’re a good t’me, oneesan.” 
the honorific alone has your mouth running dry as if it’s been stuffed with cotton. though the syrupy pap, pap, pap of your sex says otherwise. it tells the truth of your sin.
and the thing that you don’t know about satoru is that he loves to give, feeding pieces of himself to you as he fucks you wild in the middle of your family kitchen. he wants you to have all of him, every corner and inch of his body just like he dreamed about. he knows it’s forbidden and that it’s wrong, but he can’t help but relish in the feeling of your pretty pussy sucking him in so selfishly, greedily clamping down on his thick base. 
he would give you anything. anything you wanted and asked for if you’d let him. his hands slip from your waist to intertwine with yours splayed out on the cool marble surface, using his last spurts of energy to drag you towards your orgasm and the deep depths of sinner’s paradise. 
“fuck me, fuck me, baby.” he growls possessively against the shell of your ear. “let go for me. lemme see how much you love your little brother—“
the crescendo of your pleasure is at an all time high, about to come crashing down on you like a tonne of heavy bricks. 
that is until the door bell rings, accompanied by the sound of geto’s voice from the outside of the house. “yoo, satoru! open up!” 
you’d think that you’d have been good enough for your little step-brother to keep going — to push onwards and let you cream all over him before he went to attend to his silly little friends. but he flips the script, pulling out of you just as you teeter over the edge to ruin your orgasm.
“no, no, please!” you sniffle, teary eyed with dissatisfaction sitting in your lower belly — the need to cum still there but the feeling of emptiness within your dripping walls taking over. “satoru…” you whine.
when you look behind you, he’s too busy finishing himself off — his black shirt between his teeth, sweats hanging low on his waist while gojo palms  his hard and heavy cock as he pleases. 
it’s coated in your arousal, shining under the artificial lighting in the kitchen and you watch with a pout as gojo jacks himself off to the view of your ruined cunt. he thumbs the seedy slit at the centre of his bright red tip, hissing through the sensitivity. he’s a picture perfect vision, appearing as an angel before your very eyes. a mop of halo white hair flop backwards with satoru’s head, rich sapphire eyes locked behind fluttering lashes that glisten with pearls of pleasure filled tears. 
you know not to be mistaken, you know that satoru is more like an incubus than the heavenly being he presents as. the parts of your brain with better judgement see him as the sinner who made you fall from grace, committing such a heinous act. the desperate side of you with a brain full of lust and smoke screens sees your step-brother as a god who controls all of your desires. 
you think you prefer that side of you more. 
meanwhile, a drop of sweat runs a track down the length of satoru’s neck, catching on the curve of his Adam’s apple as he swallows down his euphoric laments. you find yourself jealous that his own fingers are wrapped around his sloppy dick instead of drawing shapes against your aching clit. you envy how good it must feel for satoru when he finally cums. ropes of thick white sling around his knuckles, much paler in contrast to his pearlescent skin tone.
a deep, gravelly moan erupts from his hot mouth like lava, accompanied by curses and the stuttered syllables you recognise to be your name while he finishes himself off. gojo jerks his sensitive cock over your ass to paint you with the last spurts of his release. it’s a claim on you as your step-brother, a way in which he can show you that he always gets his way no matter what.
whilst still recovering, your step-brother drags a slender finger through the puddle of cum he’s left on you, and drags it down to your stretched little hole before pushing it against your overstimulated clit. “hmm, so pretty.” gojo grins, slow and sly, when you twitch and attempt to jolt away from him. then unexpectedly, he lands a hard smack against your bum — revelling in your sweet cry of pleasure, impatience and pain. “go put somethin’ on, will ya, sis? my friends are still waiting outside.” 
“i…i hate you.” you whimper shakily, brain frazzled from the situation. 
satoru might be a spoiled brat, but he’s not mean enough to leave you here a shaky, dripping mess so he helps you to your feet — tenderly fixing the hem of your shirt and panties back into place (failing to wipe his cum off of you beforehand). you’re still pouting from your ruined orgasm once he’s done, and he nudges the underside of your chin with a singular knuckle. 
“don’t worry big sis, i’ll come take care of you later. maybe i’ll even let geto watch since you love prancing around half naked for him too.” he teases, squishing your cheeks as you try to swat at him. “and you don’t hate me, you love me and this cock. clearly.” gojo sings and sends a cheeky wink in your before prancing away to open the door for his friends. 
he pulls his pants up as he goes, not minding the wet patch you’ve left on him. 
whereas, you scurry up to your room before they can greet you and gojo tells them that you’re feeling unwell. 
that day, you learn two valuable lessons: 
one —  never mess with a spoiled brat, it’ll never end well for you and gojo will always get what he wants no matter who pays the bills. 
two — geto really does like to jerk off to you, even more so when he watches his best friend punishes his older step-sister with enough orgasms to make her forget why she was in trouble with satoru in the first place.
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꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.
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midnightbears · 2 months
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[SEPARATE] may we have gyomei, rengoku, and uzui's cuddling head canons? (are they a small or big spoon? Are they clingy? Do they snore? Who falls asleep first? Etc)
✿ hold me forever. never let me go when i do!
#STARRING: himejima gyomei. rengoku kyojuro. uzui tengen + wives ft. fem!reader [separately!]
#TAGS: fluff. established relationship
#NOTES: thank you for requesting! this is so so cute, i hope you like it <3
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the stone hashira . . . himejima gyomei!
sleeping in the same bed as this man right here is a heaven-sent gift IMO.
cuddle bug i fear. most of the time, he likes to be the big spoon, mainly because he enjoys holding you close to his chest, where he can hear and feel your heartbeats mingling together. however, he won't be opposed to you wanting him to be the small spoon. he'll probably just chuckle fondly, loving the feeling of your smaller arms trying their absolute best to wrap around his midsection.
i feel like he doesn't move at all during nighttime. he's as still as a corpse sometimes lol. i don't think he snores either, most of the time you'll just accidentally overhear him mutter "namu..." under his breath. however, if he so much as feels your warmth leaving him for a fraction of a second, he's awake and sensing around for you, dragging you back to his chest after you accidentally pushed him away in your sleep.
he always falls asleep after you. it's a small habit he picked up, only allowing himself to fully relax after you are in the land of dreams. he takes these small intervals of time between your sleep and his own to voice small prayers, his broad hands caressing your back and the top of your head lovingly.
if you happen to get out of bed in the middle of the night to get a glass of water or to use the restroom, make sure to hope fervently that gyomei won't wake up. unless he's aware of why you left the bed (eg: sleepy murmur of 'hunnyboo i need to use the toilet I'll be right back'), he'll start imagining the worst possible reasons for your absence.
imagine him feeling around for you. he finds your side of the bed empty and suddenly shoots up from bed, his blank gaze wide with apprehension, cold sweat staining his temples. where are you? he'll call out your name into the night with his entire body rigid and his voice is quavering and he scrambles to pick himself up from the bed and you don't know how much he's desperately hoping that you are okay, that you are okay, that you are okay, that you—
your soft footsteps litter the room again, a steaming cup of tea in your hands. you call out to him, your hand reaching for his, all is well.
the flame hashira . . . rengoku kyojuro!
this man literally does not care for your personal space.
he will cling to you like a koala, legs wrapped around yours and arms holding you close to his chest, nuzzling into the junction where your neck and shoulder meet, a soft "mmhhh..." leaving his lips when your perfume reaches his nostrils.
the problem with kyojuro is that sleeping with him during winter is wonderful because the man is a literal furnace. most of the time, he will sleep shirtless, allowing you to cling to him if you're cold, his rough hands traveling up and down your back soothingly to keep you happy and warm. summer, however, it's a completely different story.
you feel bad for kicking him away when he tries to hug you, but your mood is incorrigible when you are a bit too overwhelmed with the heat, and you don't want to lash out at him more than you already do when he attempts to bring you to his chest or spoon you from behind. you'll literally roll away from him or go sit outside to get fresh air, and he feels so BAAADDDD because omg he just wants to cuddle you and show you affection you're his amazing beautiful wife :(
normally, you both go to sleep around the same time after a few minutes of cuddling, but whenever this man manages to convince you to let him lay on your tatas and scratch his head, he is gone within minutes.
does not mind being big or small spoon, he enjoys both. but if he had to choose, he normally prefers to be the bigger spoon, mainly because he gets a kick out of feeling like he's protecting you and you're just so cuteeeee he loves you soooo mucchhhhh look at you omg.
he snores a bit, but you've gotten so used to it that, at this point, it's just ambient noise for you to fall asleep to lmao. you once caught him scaring himself awake with a particularly loud snore, it caught you so off-guard but it was the funniest shit you've ever seen and now you're waiting for the next time it happens.
even in his sleep, kyo's protective instincts are on full display. he'll pull you closer if you move too far away, his arms tightening around you subconsciously. if you have a nightmare, it’s like he senses it, even in the deepest sleep. you’ve woken up more than once to his sleepy voice whispering reassurances and his fingers gently tracing patterns on your back until you fall back asleep.
overall really sweet, but a pain during summer <3
the sound hashira . . . uzui tengen + wives!
now, tengen is the god of cuddling, and he's got plenty of practice with his four beautiful wives. he makes sure everyone gets their fair share of his affection, rotating between snuggling with each one of you throughout the night.
you guys could go to sleep in an established order but that completely changes overnight. one minute he’s spooning makio, his arm draped over her waist, the next he’s got you nestled against his chest, suma snuggled up behind you, and hina’s head resting on his shoulder. sometimes he wakes up alone on the other side of the bed and sees you all snuggling together and goes >:(
similarly, it's not unusual for the whole group to end up in a tangled pile of limbs by morning. tengen's long arms and legs make it easy for him to reach everyone, pulling you all into one big, cozy embrace <3
much like rengoku, he's an absolute furnace, which is a blessing and a curse, depending on the season. in winter, you and his wives love curling up against him to steal his warmth, but in summer, you often find yourselves pushing him away, only to be pulled back in when he sleepily grumbles about missing your touch.
tengen’s snoring is legendary. most of the time, it's tolerable, but some nights, you've nudged awake one of your co-wives because you don't want to sleep alone just so you can go to one of the separate rooms and cuddle there instead and the poor man is sooo hurt by it during the morninggg poor guy poor guy awe
believe it or not, tengen is the last to go to sleep but not for the reason you think. his skincare routine is longer than yours and your co-wives combined lmaooo, so while he keeps putting shit in his face and hair, you and the girls start to arrange the bedding however you like and get comfortable.
suma always needs to be close to someone, so she normally snuggles up to you first, whereas hinatsuru doesn't like to be in the middle of the pile so she'll mostly cuddle whoever remains in the outer circle. makio, while she may never admit it, loves being swaddled, so she nestles between you and hina.
he enters the room to find you all sleeping without him, but he smiles softly and simply joins you, pulling all four of you close <3
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© midnightbears on tumblr, july 2024. please do not repost to another platform, plagiarize, translate, use for AI-related purposes or claim as your own.
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lydiimae · 5 months
Text
Strains and Stresses
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Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x !fem reader
Warnings: Light hints at sex, mentions of drinking, the ton being cruel to the reader, Anthony fighting with the reader, old concepts about class and womanhood, a very icky insult thrown at the reader by Anthony, fluffy fluff at the end
Word Count: 2.8k
A.N: Hello my sweet loves <3 I am so sorry I have not updated in a while, I just finished finals so life has been hectic. Also- I got a job FINALLY T-T and, more importantly, the class that I was going to take during the summer fell through so I will have much more time to write! BTW THANK YOU FOR 100 FOLOWERS HOLY \^-^/. You are all so kind to me. Anyway, this is a fic based on a request that you can find here and here. I decided to mix the two, as it is a semi-angsty Ant fic that ends in fluff. I hope you enjoy my darling Anons. For those who have requested a fic, I promise they are coming! I am planning on knocking another one or two out next week, but I wanted to write a Ben fic before as he is a big comfort character for me and I need some of that energy lol. P.S. I listened to the slowed version of Futile Devices while I wrote this, because it is just what I imagine falling in love and loving would feel like. Enjoy <3
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You adored working for Lady Danbury, who wouldn't? She is an incredible woman, and so very strong. You admired her, for being so independent. You thought that that would be the life you lead, alone and working out your days as a maid. Then, you met him.
Met would be the wrong word, it was more of... stumbling into him after a young debutante 'accidentally' ran into you. You knew who Anthony Bridgerton was, of course. His reputation preceded him. Many of your friends and fellow maids had spoken of how harsh, how blunt, how much of a rake, the Viscount was.
For you, however, he had never been brash nor cruel, nor had he ever lived up to his reputation. For you, he was kind, gentle, and even sweet. He had placed a steadying hand on your back and met your eyes and you knew it was over.
From then on at every ball Lady Danbury held, you would always follow him to the gardens, stealing kisses in her in-home library, and sharing stolen glances from across the ballroom. After the balls, he would take you to his townhouse and you would both spend hours speaking of your lives, your dreams, your troubles. He was nothing but a gentleman.
You tried your best to ignore the strange warmth that bloomed in your chest when you were with him. In a way, you always knew that you would end up with him. You believed that your lives were intertwined, like a string wrapped around your soul that only stopped tugging when you were near him. It was comforting.
He had expressed his love to you about seven months in, on a Sunday morning in bed. The yellow hue of the morning sunrise made it feel like you were in heaven, his hands running against your sides like you were made from the finest porcelain. He said it easily as if it was the most simple thing he had ever had to do. A simple "I love you." was murmured into your ear before his lips pressed against your forehead. Just as easily came the proposal, more of a promise, right there in the same bed.
It was simple, perhaps even plain, but not to you. To you, it showed he was comfortable enough to express his feelings, and his deepest wants, just to you. It was intimate, the light cascading down upon his skin as if he were a god, bringing out every contour and mark on his body.
After the announcement of your engagement, rumors spread like wildfire. Every house in Mayfair was a spark that made the fire grow, little trails of flame splitting off along the way until the fire was all-consuming. He had warned you that the rumors would be bad, that not many would express their support for the union of a maid and a Viscount. You just did not expect it to be so suffocating.
You found solace in his embrace, as you always did, spending countless nights wrapped in the silk sheets at his townhouse, listening to his whispers of affection and praise until they eased the tears that had spilled down your cheeks.
It went on like this for the three long months leading up to the wedding. You were married in the spring, surrounded by his loved ones as yours had passed long ago. It was small enough to feel the heavy weight of the ton lifted off of your shoulders, if only for a moment.
You honeymooned in Bath, spending time in the hillsides on worn blankets for hours, allowing your skin to be tanned by the sun. When you would go back to the villa you were staying at, you would spend the night wrapped in his bare embrace, relishing in the feeling of his skin upon yours. It was the most calming, loving, and divine three months of your life.
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It has been almost eight months since the honeymoon ended. Six months of putting up with the cruel words spoken by members of the ton, of sticking to his side at balls just so you could try and shake the feeling of the many glares sent your way. Six months of learning not only what it is to be a Viscountess, but what it is like to be a noblewoman.
Anthony had spent a month teaching you the proper etiquette that came with being a noblewoman, a lot of it being common sense thanks to Lady Danbury's way of ruling around her home. However, there were some things you found to be too niche to remember. One thing was that a lady could not go out on a walk by herself.
As a maid, walks alone in the gardens of Lady Danbury's estate had become a part of your daily routine. You would often spend countless hours sitting beneath a willow tree flipping pages of a new book or you would walk around the grounds, seeking solace in the fresh air to clear your mind after a particularly hard day. You never snuck out alone, except to see Anthony, and even then you did nothing untoward, which is why it was so hard for you to remember this silly rule. It was one you forgot today, too.
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"Thank you, Rose." You hum to your lady's maid as she finishes your hair. She smiles and curtsies in return. "Of course, my lady. You need only ask if you need anything else." She says before she walks out of the room. You sigh, the title the servants address you with will never not feel strange. You adjust your jewels before standing up and walking to the window.
You had been told as you woke that your husband would be in his study today, claiming he must work on the financial affairs, meaning you have the day to yourself. The view from the master bedroom was a gorgeous one, the windows overlooking the entirety of the lands that Aubery Hall encompassed. You smile to yourself, deciding to take a stroll, perhaps even find a spot to enjoy your new book of sonnets Anthony's brother gifted you.
You pluck the book in question off of your bedside table before walking down the grand staircase. The house, other than the footsteps of the servants, is quiet. No one around to stop you from enjoying some time outside, alone. You grab your parasol and open the door, stepping out into the summer air before making your way around the lands of the estate.
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Anthony leans back in his desk chair, stretching out his limbs after finishing the last piece of paperwork he has on his desk. He takes a large swig of bourbon before standing up and moving to the window, pulling the curtains open.
He glances out over the sprawling hills of the estates, swirling the copper liquid in his glass as he takes in the view. As his eyes roam, he spots a small figure making their way up one of the hills. At first, he thinks it a servant, probably out to collect fresh flowers for his bedroom upon his wife's request, but when he glances again he sees your parasol. The one he brought back from one of his ventures to France.
He can feel himself getting angry. He had drilled this into your head one too many times, never be anywhere alone, not in public and not on private lands. The servants whisper, and their gossip spreads even faster than the gossip of the bloodthirsty Mamas of the ton. He downs the rest of his bourbon before slamming the glass on his desk. He rounds it and grabs his velvet jacket from its place on the back of his chair, slinging it around his shoulders before stomping out of the room.
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You are just about to sit down when you hear the calling of your name from towards the estate. You look over your shoulder, leaning on your closed parasol, to find your husband hurriedly making his way over to where you stand.
At first, you think that something bad might've happened, perhaps he found something in the many documents that was awry, but you know that is not the case from the way he is walking. Stomping, rather. He is angry, furious even, so you try and wrack your mind to find what you have done to make him this angry.
Before you can he is upon you, one of his large hands encircling your wrists and dragging you away from the hill. "Anthony, do not grab me like some sort of brute!" You yelp, trying to tug away from his bruising grip, which he only tightens upon your plea. "I shall grab you however I wish." He snarls, making your eyes widen. "Be quiet until we are inside."
He tugs you along until you are both inside of his study, where he slams the door and locks it. You begin to speak but he quickly interrupts. "Have you any idea of what you could have just done by being out there, Y/N?!" He shouts, making you take several steps back in surprise. "I was only going for a walk." You whisper and he scoffs. "A walk alone, you foolish woman!" He continues, his voice only getting louder.
The insult sends anger through your veins. "You shall not insult your own wife for merely going outside!" You shout back and he narrows his eyes almost dangerously. "I have told you hundreds of times that you are not permitted outside without a proper companion, Y/N! Going against that is indeed foolish as I have hammered it into your head countless times!" He shouts. "I am not foolish! This is all new for me! I-" You start but he is quick to respond.
"New? That is rich! Utterly rich, because to me it has been eleven months! Eight of which you have been here, doing your duties as my Viscountess!" He shouts louder, on the verge of screaming. You press yourself against the wall opposite to him. "Did they not teach you anything in your time as a maid?! You still act like a common whore even though we have fought about this too many times to count! I am tired of it!" He shouts.
Common whore. The title cuts straight through you like a hot knife, the burns making your eyes well up with tears. The title has been used to spite you at every ball, in every gossip letter, and in every whisper you have heard in the last year. It does not hurt coming from them any longer, but from him? From your husband? It feels like he has damaged your very being.
You stand there stunned, watching his mouth move but hearing no words. "You think I am a common whore?" You whisper and he stops, looking at you. You are pressed against the wall, your arms hugging your frame, tears spilling freely down your cheeks. His body language visibly changes from that of an angered husband to a guilty one.
"Y/N I did not mean-" He begins but you shake your head. "You most certainly did mean it, it came out of your mouth!" You sob. "I was angry! I am angry!" He shouts, more in a desperate act now, wishing he could reverse time. "So?!" You shout, your gloved hands pressing into your bare arms. "I have never once insulted you like that! Never once used what has been said about you as a weapon for merely-" You laugh bitterly, shaking your head and looking away. "For merely going outside." You scoff.
He falters and visibly slumps in defeat. "It is foolish, but they will talk, Y/N. You know-" He begins quietly, but again you do not let him finish. "Yes, Anthony. They will talk, they will say the words you have just spoken to me." You say, wiping your eyes. "I forgot, and I know you have drilled every rule into my head but this is not the norm for me." You whisper
"When I was a maid, no, even when I was a little girl, I would go wherever I wished alone. I would pick up food at the market for my family, and take my brother to his job at the factory, and now I cannot even go outside alone? Upon my husband's private lands, no less?" You whisper. "So forgive me, Anthony, for forgetting rules that you and your siblings have grown up abiding by. I am trying to learn and remember them now, after living a very different life." You say, looking at your feet in an attempt to stop the tears. As if not looking at him will somehow ease the sting of his words.
He scoops you into his arms without thinking about it, pressing his forehead to yours. "Y/N, you know I did not mean it." He whispers and you frown, trying to tug away. "No, no. I might've meant it in the moment, and I know I cannot take it back." He amends, his hold on you tightening. Still, you refuse to meet his eyes. "Darling, please look at me. I swear I shall never say anything as cruel as what I did ever again." He whispers, his fingers curling around your chin so he can bring your gaze back to him.
When your eyes meet his he offers a sad smile, tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear. "It was cruel. No, no. Cruel is too kind of a word, it was vile, for me to utter such a word when speaking of my own wife." He whispers, his hand coming down to your cheek. "I swear to you that I mean it when I say I am sorry, you shall never know how sorry I am for saying something so disgusting to you."
He continues, his thumbs swiping away the tears that have now begun to flow again. "You are the most important thing to me. I have done a terrible job of showing you that today. I shall spend every day trying to ease the pain of my foolish words." He vows, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "I know this is hard for you, the rules of society are so... foolishly strict for women and even I cannot imagine how much stress they are adding upon everything else" He murmurs, and you tug at his sleeve, willing him into an embrace.
You tuck your face into the crook of his neck and allow yourself to cry. "Shhh, Y/N. You are perfect, no matter your status." He whispers in your ear, running one of his hands up and down your back as the other rests on your hip. "I am not a good Viscountess, Anthony." You whisper and his grip on you tightens. "Hush. You are the perfect Viscountess, Y/N. The perfect Bridgerton." He promises.
"You have been learning so quick, one slip-up of an utterly foolish rule does not discount the many months where you have been perfect." He whispers, pressing his lips to the side of your head. "Neither do the words of your brutish husband." He teases quietly and your lips turn up a bit. "The gossiping Mamas will find another topic in time, my love. They are merely jealous that their daughters are still stuck without a husband while you are here." He murmurs and you nod.
He pulls back and cups your cheeks, watching your eyes flutter shut. "Better?" He whispers, running his thumbs along your cheekbones. You nod and he sighs in relief, bringing you closer to his chest. "I will never be able to express how sorry I am for saying that to you." He whispers. You smile, leaning into his touch and nodding.
He presses a gentle kiss to your lips and wipes the remainder of your tears away before pulling back a bit. "We shall have a picnic." He whispers and you open your eyes, laughing. "We do not have to" You giggle and he grins, shaking his head. "Nonsense, we must. I have been cooped up inside all day and I wish to spend time with you, in the sunshine." He hums, pressing his lips to your nose.
An hour later you are both lying down on a lacy blanket, a picnic basket full of sweet treats. Two glasses of wine stand abandoned on the grass, being forgotten in a mess of kisses. Your head is resting on his chest, your hands clasped together over one of his legs. "I love you." He whispers, pressing a kiss to your brow. Your eyes are shut but you smile. "And I love you." You whisper back, falling asleep while bathed in sunlight.
How divine it feels to be loved by Anthony Bridgerton.
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little-diable · 2 days
Text
Crimson River - Tyler Owens (smut)
This came to me while overthinking a situation I'm currently stuck in lol. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx
Summary: The reader and Tyler have been chatting online for months, and now it's time for them to finally meet in real life. Porn with some plot
Warnings: 18+, smut, piv, some spitting, full on fluff
Pairing: Tyler Owens x fem!reader (2.5k words)
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“So, when will I get to share these songs with you face to face?” Her thumbs were hovering over her keyboard, eyes flickering from his text to her calendar. (Y/n)’s heart was pounding, beating in her chest while her teeth tugged on her lower lip.
It could be easy, too easy almost. 
“How’s the weekend looking for you, you busy tornado wrangler?” Heat shot to her cheeks, leaving her to burn up while putting down her phone. This was crazy, and yet she couldn’t find it in herself to back down, not when she could finally meet him.
Him, the guy she had been texting for months now.
Him, the guy she had first bonded over music with, sharing a similar taste. 
Him, the guy whose every storm chasing stream she had watched ever since he had shared more about himself with her. 
“If it means I get to see you, I’ll hold it free, sweetheart.” A chuckle broke out of her. (Y/n) deeply exhaled before shaking her head at her screen. This was crazy, but the best kind of crazy, something she desperately needed to rip herself out of her daily routine. 
“Count me in, I’ll book my flights now.”
……
Her thoughts were racing, just like her heart. (Y/n) moved with the big crowd, knowing that she was about to step out into the arrivals hall, where he was already waiting for her. She was unable to shake the heat sticking to her, still not fully realising that she was about to cross paths with the man she had been in touch with for months without ever meeting him. 
And then she instantly saw him, eyes drawn to him like a moth to a flame, a gravitational field that left her buzzing in excitement. His strong arms found their way around her, pressing (y/n) against him while she sank into the hug. 
“I can’t believe you’re finally here.” With a kiss pressed to her temple, Tyler let go of her to reach for her bag. She could only smile up at him, taking in the handsome face she had seen on her screen too many times to count.
“Thank you for picking me up.” (Y/n) tried to rip her gaze from him, eyes set on the crowd he directed her through with one hand placed on her lower back. Her mind picked apart every little detail, their height difference, the scent of his cologne she’d probably never forget again, the way his warm hand felt pressed against her back. All of it left her buzzing, tingling in excitement. 
Only as she found herself sitting in his truck did she allow herself to relax and breathe. Tyler had instantly managed to lure her into a conversation, making her feel as if they had met up numerous times before today. And yet (y/n) still struggled to realise that this was really happening, that she was so close to the handsome man she had fostered a crush on for quite some time now. 
“I thought tonight we could go for something slow, maybe watch a movie? And tomorrow you’ll get to meet the crew.” He shot her one of his signature smiles, hand finding her thigh for a second. The touch felt intimate, shooting heat straight to the spot while her mind hyper fixated on the way electricity kept pushing through her as if lighting kept hitting her over and over again. 
“That sounds perfect, thank you.” She could already tell that a weekend was not nearly enough, parting again would hurt more than she could even imagine at that very moment. 
……
The screen of his TV kept flickering on, casting shadows in the spacey living room. It had been a while since they had arrived at his place. Both had opted for some downtime first before they’d get to cooking and sharing a meal. Even though she was slowly adjusting to being around Tyler, it still felt somewhat surreal, like a dream she’d be ripped from too soon.
“Hey, are you okay?” She had her feet pressed against his thigh, eyes flickering to them as Tyler softly squeezed her skin. The touch made her sink further into the couch, hoping that the way he made her feel wasn’t all that obvious to Tyler. But the smirk slowly tugging on his lips told her that he was all too aware of the way she struggled to hold it together, unable to speak much. 
Only a hum broke through (y/n), a sound that turned into a quiet gasp the second he tugged on her feet to place her legs over his thighs. One of his hands found space between her knees, grabbing her flesh while the other settled on top. 
How in God's name was she supposed to survive this? 
“Talk to me, sweetheart.” Tyler stopped the movie without taking his eyes off her features. She couldn’t help but wonder how he was already able to read her that well, how he managed to pick up on micro expressions even her closest friends would most likely miss. 
“It’s just surreal, all of this, finally talking to you and being close to you. I knew we’d get along well, but,” the rest of her sentence was lost in the quietness of the room. Tyler’s thumb stroked along the fabric of her trousers, patiently watching her.
“But this is different.” He finally managed to finish her sentence, unable to bite down the smile both couldn’t shake now. “I know what you mean, I was hoping it’d work that well like it does when we text, but this is so much better.” 
Another hum left (y/n), she pulled her legs from his grasp to shift around, finding confidence in the way he had just expressed what she had also been feeling. Slowly, carefully almost, (y/n) placed her head against his chest, instantly pulled closer by the arm finding its way around her. Tyler pressed a kiss to her hairline before he started the movie again, unable to see the bright smile she now wore, perfectly matching his.
……
(Y/n)’s legs were dangling off the kitchen counter, eyes following Tyler around as he cooked for them. Music was filling the kitchen, playing a playlist both had crafted over the past months, their own personal blend. Ever since their moment on the couch, both had been unable to shake their smiles, hearts racing in sync. 
“Here, do you like that?” Tyler found himself settling between her thighs, looking at her while pushing the spoon past her parted lips. The moment had something awfully intimate to it, pushing heat through both of them. (Y/n) could only nod her head, not noticing how her legs had loosely found their way around his thighs, keeping him close.
Tyler’s thumb found her mouth, brushing away a bit of sauce clinging to her skin, a touch that made her breath hitch in her chest. She kept looking at him, getting lost in the piercing eyes that had seen more tragic glimpses of this life than (y/n) could ever imagine, and yet they were filled with a burning longing. 
For a few more seconds they kept holding eye contact, torn apart by his phone timer going off. Tyler had to clear his throat before he could focus on finishing dinner, trying not to pay her intense gaze any of his attention. He knew all too well that he was close to snapping, close to crossing the last line between them to press his lips against hers.
But as much as Tyler wanted to kiss her, to taste her like he had done numerous times in his dreams, he knew that he should take things slow. He didn’t want to push things too far on their first night together, all Tyler was focused on was seeing her comfortable and happy.
“We could eat outside if you want, stars should be out by now.” Her heart was close to jumping out of her chest, freed by the heat his words made her feel. Months ago he had shared a picture of the starry sky he was fortunate enough to look at whenever he was home, a sight that had left her to confess that she desperately wanted to see them too.  
“Thank you, Tyler.” (Y/n)’s words carried more meaning than he picked up on, not seeing through the adoration swimming in her pupils. 
……
“Tyler.” (Y/n) mumbled his name, eyes set on his features. They were still sitting on the bench outside his home, sharing a blanket to keep them shielded from the cold night. His eyes flickered down to meet hers, patiently waiting for her to keep on speaking. “Will you finally kiss me?”
Her words drew a loud laugh from him, he shook his head at (y/n) who could only grin up at him. Tyler’s hand found her cheek, wordlessly asking her to keep on looking at him while his eyes wandered over her features, “And here I was trying to be a gentleman.”
(Y/n)’s reply was lost on the tip of her tongue as he dipped his head down. Tyler’s lips ghosted over her’s, drawing a soft whine out of (y/n) as he kept a small distance between them. Only as her hand found his jacket, tugging on the fabric to pull him closer, did he properly kiss her. 
The kiss shot shudders down her spine, making hairs rise on her forearms while shuffling closer. Within moments she found herself straddling his lap, front pressed against his to cross any distance still lingering between them like two lonely ships crossing the sea to find back to one another, guided by nothing but their need to be close. 
Their lips moved perfectly together, the kiss wasn't rushed, but it was fuelled by their longing which had grown stronger over the past months. Tyler’s hands settled on her waist, fingers toying with the hemline of her sweater, set on feeling her warm skin pressed against his. For a moment they broke apart, grasping onto new air to fill their burning lungs. 
“Stop me anytime you want, sweetheart.” (Y/n) searched his lips again, not giving Tyler a chance to speak another word while his hands found her burning up skin. Her wandering fingers found his hairs, brushing through them to draw a moan from Tyler, a sound that vibrated on her lips and through her whole body. 
He didn’t speak a warning as he suddenly stood up, holding onto (y/n) to carry her back inside. With her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs around his waist, she let him carry her inside and towards his bedroom. Both were heavily breathing after pulling apart, chests rising and falling while chuckles broke out of them.
(Y/n) let him pull her sweater over her head, exposing her bra to his wandering eyes. The groan rumbling through Tyler made her grin, letting her hands reach for his belt loops to pull him closer, expertedly undoing his belt, “I know we should take this slow, but I really need you to fuck me now after all these months.”
“You’re killing me, sweetheart.” Their eyes held contact as she freed his hardening cock, letting his trousers drop to the ground. Tyler’s moans spurred her on, allowing her to marvel at the handsome man while pumping his length a few times. But Tyler didn’t have the patience to drag this out long enough, he gave her a push back, tugged her trousers and panties down her legs while (y/n) undid her bra. “You’re the prettiest sight, fuck, I’m the luckiest man.”
“Says you, I mean look at you.” She could only stare at him as the rest of his clothing was dropped, exposing his abs and his muscular chest – all while his fingers began to wander up her legs. He pressed kisses to her soft skin, sucking on her flesh as his fingertips ghosted over her warm folds, feeling her arousal already sticking to her skin. 
Tyler kept his gaze on her features as he spat down on her heat, spreading his saliva on her warm skin. He circled her pulsing bundle a few times to draw soft moans from (y/n), needing to hear them as if they were his favourite drug, high on her sounds. For a second, he parted from her to find a condom, to roll it down his cock, and to brush his tip through her folds. 
“Look at me, sweetheart.” (Y/n) looked up at Tyler, feeling herself getting choked up from the way he looked at her. Something she’d only be able to describe as love swam in his pupils – a love so intense it only grew stronger as he pushed into her. Her eyes instantly fluttered shut at the sensation, fingernails scratching at his skin, walls fluttering around him. Tyler held still for a second, giving her time to adjust before he dipped his head down to kiss her.
Their bodies met with every thrust, allowing (y/n) to feel him deep inside of her, stretching her with every move. With every contact even more sinful sounds began to claw through them, reverberating through his bedroom like a song woven together from shared experiences and unspoken longings. 
“You feel so good, fuck, Tyler.” Her words left him chuckling, he kissed his way down her throat, finding the spots that made her arch her back while she tightened the grasp of her legs around his waist. Tyler was fully focused on making her cum first, needing to watch her fall over the edge while knowing that he was the reason for the sweet sensation she was about to get tangled up in. 
“Touch yourself, sweetheart, make yourself cum on my cock.” Tyler’s voice grew raspier and lower with every syllable he spoke. Both were staring at one another, wordlessly telling them that they were ready to let go any moment now. Her fingers moved fast, giving herself the needed push with his name bleeding from her lips.
Tyler found himself falling in love with (y/n) some more as she came, eyes taking in every inch of her pleasure drunken features. He gave it a few more thrusts before he came, letting go with a groan while (y/n) kept clinging to him. 
“Christ, you’re perfect.” He pressed another kiss to her lips before pulling out. And at that moment, Tyler knew that he’d have to confess his feelings soon. Not tonight, perhaps not tomorrow morning, but the love bleeding from the tip of his tongue like a crimson river would pave the way for their following time together soon enough.
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p1utofairy · 1 year
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PAC: “are you down to be a distraction, baby?” 🐅🖤🪄🌟
• how will your person approach you?
disclaimer ✩: 18+ mature themes. take what resonates, leave what doesn't. i’ve had trouble uploading this ugh it wasn’t coming out how i wanted but here we go <3 feels like it’s been forever 🥲 enjoy!
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pile 1 ↓
“could you blame me for needing you? you’re the reason i got a weakness, oh, no you drive me crazy, still that's my baby. can’t get enough of you. baby, it's somethin' that you do.”
hiii pile 1! i'm immediately hearing that your person is enamored by you. they love the way you walk, the way you smile, the way you talk, the way you smell…quite literally everything. i see them staring at you a lot, it might not be obvious at first but they’re gonna try to feel you out/see if your receptive to their vibe. they’re like a cat lurking in the shadows i’m hearing. more than likely, you won’t even be focused on getting into a relationship or actively looking for a partner before they pop up on your radar; your person will just come to you. i see them coming up to you in a slightly crowded or busy environment and saying something sly but it doesn’t come out the way they intended lol they might stutter over their words and then kick themselves over it later. awww it’s cute, you get them flustered and nervous. you may not think that you’re intimidating (actually i’m picking up that some of you might be a bit reserved/quiet) but your presence shakes them to the core. it’s like all their calmness goes out the window when they’re face to face with you. you get their heart racing, palms sweaty and mind wandering but they’ll try to put on their brave face and act like they’re not having a whole meltdown inside. LMFAOOOOO they won’t even know what to do with themselves, you’ve got them down bad. i just heard “i’ve fallen and i can’t get up!” lol i think this is what’s gonna get the ball rolling on this new beginning with them; your humor. even if they don’t have the smoothest delivery, you won’t hold it against them you’ll just keep the conversation going and vibe with them. they’ll love this about you…how non-judgmental you are. they can be themselves around you 🥹 and as you two get more comfortable around each other, you’ll both be able to open up and talk about everything under the sun. awww so cute pile 1!
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pile 2 ↓
“i'll be your groupie, baby. ‘cause you are my superstar. i’m your number one fan, give me your autograph. sign it right here on my heart.”
pile 2…when i say your person’s eyes/eye contact is gonna make your knees BUCKLE 😮‍💨 whew! my goodness, you’ll be squeezing your thighs together lol. this person is very forward and blunt, it might catch you off guard cause you wouldn't think that when you first see them. i feel like they’re very calm and collected on the outside but inside of them is a flame waiting to be sparked…and you’re the match. they'll approach you in a calculated and meticulous way i’m hearing, they have it all planned out. they might even make a cute gesture/treat you to something that will make you go “awww” internally. i feel like your body will be very responsive to them…like when you see them you might freeze and panic lol they'll think it’s cute. conversing with them is going to be so easy, you'll be able to tell that they're soaking up every word that you're saying. this is hottttt pile 2. when they first lay their eyes on you, they’ll just know they have to have you. you make their heart nearly skip a beat. some of you make look young for your age/have a baby face cause when you’re talking to them, they’ll be thinking about how cute you are. even the way you speak makes them go crazy 😩 just know that your first interaction with them will be living in their mind rent-free lol.
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pile 3 ↓
“you make the confusion go all away from this cold and messed up world. i am in love with you, you set me free! i can't do this thing called life without you here with me.”
pile 3 i gotta start by saying you and your person are absolutely adorkable. lmaooo that was so corny but i feel like you two will be very silly with each other from day 1. you both share some similar interests — possibly watch the same shows/like the same music…something of that nature and that’s how your person is going to shoot their shot. shot clock by ella mai just came to mind, “twenty-four seconds, yeah, you better not stop. you got twenty-four seconds, can you beat the shot clock?” lmfao they might feel like the pressure is on with you. you won’t necessarily be pressuring them, but they’ll feel like if they don’t make their move now someone else might swoop in and grab your attention. they don’t wanna waste your time or time in general, and trust me when i say that they’re gonna put a lot of effort into getting your attention and keeping you entertained. you and/or your person may have some gemini placements. you'll think that they're very cute and sweet <3 they have little quirks about them that you'll pick up on and think to yourself “awww i love them 🥹” very much peter parker vibes like yes peter might be a bit clumsy, awkward and quirky but he's an absolute sweetheart (and heartthrob) so you'll really love spending time with this person pile 3.
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rafeandonlyrafe · 6 months
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arsonist's lullaby
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words: 3.3k
warnings: 18+ only, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, female receiving oral pregnancy, proposal <3, established relationship, arson, lots of talk about fire lol, camping, mentions of rafes bad childhood
you watch as rafe strikes the match. he prefers it over a lighter, holding it between his finger as the flame inches lower, lower, until it gets too hot and he's tossing it into the fire pit, right on the bushel of kindling that instantly takes light.
rafe looks up at you, the fire sparking in the reflection of his eyes as you make your way towards him. he doesn't have to say a word, the way he sits back in the camping chair, silently telling you to take a seat.
you slide onto his lap, placing yourself sideways with your bum on his thigh. you look at rafe for a minute, just admiring his illuminated features as the orange flame flares up and down with the wind. you listen to the sound of rustling leaves, the distant lapping of waves on the nearby lake.
“are you having fun?” you ask rafe. he may be your boyfriend of two years, but it can still sometimes be hard to tell.
rafe nods, before grinning and leaning forward to press a kiss towards your lips. “i always have fun with you.”
you weren't sure that he would enjoy camping, especially tent camping it, but you always used to go every summer with your parents, and when you asked if he would be down to go, he didn't think twice before saying yes.
“you're sweet.” you giggle, leaning in to press the side of your head against his shoulder, tucking your nose into his neck, inhaling his scent after a long day of relaxing on the beach and taking strolls through the well trodden paths through the woods.
“you're probably the only person alive who would call me sweet.” rafe places his hand on your hip, squeezing it gently. 
it's not that rafe puts on a scary demeanor with everyone else, it's more like that's his natural state and you bring out a side meant just for you.
you kiss his neck, it's not enough, but it's a thank you for his vulnerability, his willingness to please you.
you both sit in comfortable silence, your eyes closed as you recover from the day while rafe stares at the fire, the flames calling to him. he holds you tight to his side as he reaches and tosses another log into the fire, a spit of sparks shooting up.
“who taught you how to build fires?” you ask rafe, looking at the now smashed teepee of sticks he had built up.
“i guess i taught myself.” rafe shrugs. “i always used to build them in the fire pit in the backyard whenever my dad would take sarah to softball practice.
“mmm.” you hum, pressing another kiss to his neck, before moving to his jaw. “we should go into the tent.”
“yeah.” rafe nods, picking you up effortlessly, his pants already beginning to swell just from having your lips on him. he walks quickly to the tent, having to duck down to fit inside, placing you on the inflatable mattress.
you let out a giggle as rafe zips the tent closed before tugging his shirt off, opening your arms up as he sets himself over your body, one hand sneaking beneath your shirt to your waist while his other hand cups your jaw, holding you in place as he kisses you.
“i love you.” you whisper to rafe before picking your shoulders up off the bed, letting him pull your shirt off.
the windows of the tent are zipped mostly shut to protect your privacy from those camping nearby, but you left the top open to just a screen after double checking there was no rain forecasted.
you look up at the stars, your soft moans and rafes low grunts lost to the music of the forest as the wind moves through the trees.
--
“here, baby.” you hand a crumpled up newspaper to rafe. “we need it hot to roast our marshmallows.”
“mhm.” rafe finished building the fire, the embers still slightly warm from your fire last night before he places the newspaper at the center to get the fire going quicker.
“gosh, i can't wait.” you pat your stomach. “it's been so long since ive made s'mores.”
“i don't think ive had them in… ten years.” it may even be more than that. rafe hates the way it makes you pout. his lonely childhood hurts you as much as it hurts him. he fears sometimes even more from your reactions.
“come on.” rafe taps his knee. you really should have just packed one camping chair, it's not like you're sitting on your own as he pulls you into his lap, pressing kisses to your cheeks and jaw as you wait for the fire to grow.
“mmm, the s'mores…” you blink your eyes open, not even realizimg that you've relaxed so completely against rafe that you were almost asleep.
“ill make one for you.” rafe grabs the stick from the nearby table. “how burnt do you like your marshmallow?”
“just a bit.” you smile as rafe rolls his eyes. 
“i like mine burnt.” 
“oh im sooo surprised.” you joke as rafe sticks the marshmallow into the flames, just until it gets gooey before making your smore for you, adding extra chocolate for your sweet tooth.
“so good.” you moan when you take a bite, making rafe shift you slightly on his lap.
you eat s'mores as the moon rises, minutes ticking by until all of your graham crackers are used up.
you let out a yawn, eyes blinking the smoke out of your eyes as the wind momentarily shifts before blowing back in the same direction.
“gonna go put pajamas on.” you press a kiss to rafes forehead before moving to the tent, glad you went for a bigger size with enough room for you to get dressed and undressed. you sigh as you sit down to change your socks before laying back on the bed, not even realizing how exhausted you truly were as sleep takes you.
rafe checks on you after a few minutes, smiling when he realizes you're absolutely fine, just already in a deep sleep. he zips the tent back shut, keeping one eye on it as he goes back to the fire, building it up bigger and bigger as the flames grow, watching with excitement until he runs out of logs to add.
--
rafes fingers twitch. you've been home for two weeks from the camping trip. he wonders when is it an appropriate time to suggest going again. he longs to feel the heat of a blaze against his skin, to feel the ultimate power of building a fire to his will.
“hey.” your soft voice interrupts his thoughts, his face easily shifting from one of intensity to soft love.
“hi baby.” rafe presses his lips against yours in a greeting.
“missed you today.” you hum. you work two days a week at a local animal shelter, mainly just to keep busy and do something to feel accomplished, and they almost always coincide with rafes work, but today was a rare occasion where he was off and you were busy, leaving rafe to roam the house in boredom until you get home.
“missed you more.” he says, placing a hand on your waist to pull you into a more intense kiss, his lips smashing against yours. “how's casper?”
you blink, it takes you a second for your mind to start working after the passionate kiss before the corners of your lips turn down. “still no one wants to adopt him.”
you couldn't believe it at first when the adorable little white puppy came into the shelter, you thought for sure someone would snatch him up instantly, until you saw that he's missing his two hind legs. clearly people in the area don't want to take the initiative to have a dog with only two front legs.
“im sorry.” rafe sighs. he kisses you again, this time soft and comforting. “it's best he waits for the right family though, yeah?”
rafe echos the words you always say when a dog takes a little longer to get adopted. better to wait for a forever family than to wind up back in the shelter after a few weeks.
“yeah.” you nod. “so, what'd you get up to today?”
“nothing.” rafe says honestly. 
“nothing?” you raise your eyebrow. “what are you gonna do when im gone next weekend?”
rafe let's out a curse. he forgot you were going on a girls trip. out of town to some spa that he has the address and phone number, along with any other information he might need to know, typed out in his notes when you first told him about it. just in case.
“shit, i was trying so hard not to think about it that i pushed it out of my mind completely.” he says with a light chuckle, but his face isn't one of happiness. 
you swipe your hand through his hair, combing back the dark blond strands. “maybe we need to get you a hobby. you can build a lego set or do a paint by numbers.”
it's mostly a joke, but you do want rafe to enjoy himself while you're away. you make a mental note to yourself as you go into the kitchen to make dinner to find something to keep his mind occupied while you're separated for the first time for longer than a day since you began dating.
--
rafe looks at your contact on his phone. his finger twitches over the call button, despite you just getting off the phone after talking for an hour, skipping out on drinks with the girls to chat, but you didn't tell rafe that, telling him everyone was in their rooms and that you had plenty of free time to keep him occupied.
he sighs, clicking on your contact picture. you set it at the beginning of your relationship, a kissy face selfie and rafe hasn't changed it since.
“fuck.” he groans, heartbeat starting to rise as a bead of sweat forms on his forehead, anxiety building.
he walks out of the house, no set route in mind. rafe tells himself the walk will clear his head, but what he put in his pocket before leaving says different. he needs to get the feeling out somehow.
he walks and walks until it's dark outside, moving towards the run down side of town until he comes to a small shack, purposely taking mostly abandoned roads. rafe scopes out the area quickly, looking around to see if theres anyone nearby, close enough to see him.
when the coast is clear, rafe lets out a sigh of relief as he pulls the matchbox out of his pocket, a fresh one, having to repurchase after using an entire box camping. 
rafe isn’t sure how easily the place will light up. the shed looks dry and old, and when he looks inside, its empty other than some old long forgotten gardening equipment. rafe strikes a match and sets it on the wooden window sill, watching as it burns out. rafe continues striking the matches and tossing them at the shack as sparks ignite the scraps of wood. 
rafe steps back when he throws the last one, tossing the empty cardboard box into the flames as they slowly take over the structure. rafe smiles, the anxiety that was building up inside him blowing away with the smoke.
the flames eagerly ate up the wood, spreading quickly and before rafe knew it, the already unsturdy roof was collapsing in on itself, sparks adding to the stars in the sky.
he stands for a moment longer, the warm orange glow causing an odd comfort. rafe knows its wrong, but he can’t help that he feels better after setting the fire, walking away as the wood turns to ash, the shack long forgotten and reduced to nothing.
--
rafe paces, strikes a match and lets it burn to his fingertips before blowing it out, paces some more, then pulls out another match. he’s not anxious this time, doesn’t feel the itch to set a place ablaze as he did two nights ago, having to shower three times before he finally got the smell of smoke out of his hair.
now, he’s just impatient. the front door is open, letting in a cool breeze and giving him a view of the driveway as he walks around the foyer, waiting for your car to pull in, for you to finally return home.
rafe blows out a match right when he sees your car turn down the street, his eyes widening as he tosses the matchbox onto the hallway table, stepping out onto the porch, unable to keep himself farther away, moving down the steps as you pull into the driveway.
you barely put the car in park before you’re flying out the door, jumping into rafes arms as he spins you around.
“oh my god, ive missed you so fucking much.” rafes arms are wrapped firmly around your waist, not letting your feet touch the ground as he walks towards the door.
“wait, rafe-” you giggle.
“we can bring your bags in later.” rafe says. he has other priorities.
“no, the car is still on!” rafe sighs and sets you down. you quickly run to pull the keys out of the car and lock it, rushing inside with rafe quick behind you. you toss the keys on the table, noting the matchbox but you're too busy being swept off your feet and carried up the stairs by rafe.
he lays you on the bed, only now pausing to take a minute. you may have only been gone for three nights in total, but it felt like a lifetime to rafe. he leans forward, pressing your lips together before continuing to just stare at you.
“stop looking.” you tug at rafes collar. “do something.”
rafe listens to your command, moving quickly to sink down the bed, tossing the hem of your dress up, not even bothering to take your underwear all the way off, simply sliding them to the side and burying his tongue in your cunt.
 --
“did you see a second shack burned down?” you look up from where you were mindlessly scrolling on social media. 
of course rafe knows. but he certainly isn’t going to just admit that to you. he can’t have you leaving him, he’d probably burn the whole town down if that happened.
“oh really?” rafe says, keeping his voice level, disinterested.
“yeah.” you zoom in closer on the picture, nothing more than a pile of ashes and dust. “damn, i wish i could have seen it on fire.”
the fire department didn’t even get to it until it was completely burned to the ground with how isolated it was. just as rafe planned it.
“really?” his eyebrows raise.
“yeah.” you nod. “i love fire.” you give him a mischievous smile. you surely don’t mean it in the same way as rafe does, but he feels a little more at peace. if you somehow found out, maybe you wouldn’t leave him because of it, or at least hear him out.
“hmm.” rafe just hums.
“we should build a firepit in the backyard.” you mumble the suggestion, but rafe quickly nods. “yes.”
you giggle, setting your phone down to move off the armchair and onto the couch next to rafe. “you wanna keep practicing your fire setup for the next time we go camping?”
rafe smiles, leaning in to press a kiss to your lips. “maybe.”
--
rafe tosses another log onto the flame, smiling at you as you rock gently in the hammock, set up precariously close to the fire so you can feel its warmth as you relax, the summer coming to an end.
“you look beautiful.” rafe says. the orange light illuminates your features, along with the twinkling fairy lights strung up along the back porch.
you just smile at him. you don’t need words, not anymore.
rafe pokes at the fire with a stick, opening up the center to allow more airflow into the bottom as the flame grows larger, but not too large, never when you’re around. 
“come lay with me.” you open your arms to rafe, who moves with ease onto the hammock next to you, the fabric pushing you both close to each other, glad you opted for the larger size so you could sit together. “i love you, baby.” rafe kisses your head, looking around the yard, at the fire, then up at the stars. “i love this life.”
“i love this life too.” you press your hand to your stomach. there’s a surprise you’ve yet to tell rafe. its only a suspicion, partially confirmed by a stick test, but you want the doctors confirmation to be sure before you tell rafe. you look up at him, tilting your head to the side so you can see his face. “you’re happy?” “yes.” he says honestly. “when im with you, i am.” 
“ill always be with you.” you grip rafes hand. you turned down opportunities for trips with your girlfriends. if they didn’t want rafe to come along, it was a no. you can’t blame them, but you refuse to leave him alone after putting the pieces together.
the first arson could have been a coincidence. but the second, on a night you were also away from rafe? you know its him. it’s why you suggested the fire pit in the backyard. why you won’t force him to spend another night without you, alone and anxious, having to face the demons of his past, his childhood. you know he’s not a bad man, not at heart, not deep inside. 
you turn to rafe, tears brimming in your eyes, overwhelmed with your feelings for him. “i love you so much.”
“baby.” rafe coos, bringing a hand to the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss. your hands run all over each others bodies, the moon and fire illuminating you as you work bits of clothes off, just enough for you to sink down onto rafes cock, more grinding together than thrusting at risk of spilling out of the hammock.
“god, you feel so good.” rafe groans, hands gripping your waist as he pushes in before making a miniscule movement back.
“filling me up perfectly.” you undulate your hips. sex with rafe is often wild and intense, but moments like this, where you’re just indulging in each others bodies, relaxing and slow, just like the swinging of the hammock.
“yeah, gonna fill you up real good.” rafe smirks, the corner of his lip twerking up.
the words spill out of you. “i think im pregnant.” you immediately want to take them back when rafes eyes widen.
“rafe-” you lean back, a look of regret on your face, but rafe just pulls you back in, slamming his lips against yours, hips moving faster, hand gripping your ass, pulling you against him as he cums, cock swelling inside of you before releasing.
“if you're not pregnant, im gonna make sure you are.” he gasps out, chest rising and falling, keeping his cock pushed inside of you.
“you’re not worried?” you ask. clearly the couple glasses of wine you had at dinner are giving you a loose tongue. 
“no.” rafe says honestly, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “i would be if this was anyone else. you know…” he swallows thickly. “you know how messed up my childhood was. how hard my dad was on me… i feel like this is a chance to heal that, to treat my kid better than i was ever treated. and i want this with you.”
“i want it too.” you coo, kissing him softly.
“oh, and i guess there’s no better time for this.” rafe chuckles, his softening cock still inside of you, fire dying to just embers as he reaches to his shorts, halfway down his thighs and pulled a small black velvet box out of his pocket, flipping it open with one skilled hand, turning the ring to glint in the orange light.
“will you marry me?”
taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @rafeyslove @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart @pradabambie @tobesolovelysstuff @alexiskirkland @rafestar @brioffthegrid @juniebugg @magicalyoura @cokepewpsii @mysillycomics @luvdella @aerangi @vogueprincess @auryyz @mayhem-72 @thestarlithideout @marvelfanfics1recs @rafesgiirl @ditzyzombiesblog @chiaraanatra @tobiaslut
500 notes · View notes
harrysfolklore · 10 months
Note
I SAY YES TO ERAS DANCER!YN
i thought about this concept when i watched the eras tour film and you guys encouraged me to write it so here it is ! i enjoyed it a lot so i really hope you like it
ps. the usernames on the comments are taylor’s dancers ! (they’re all so cool i’m obsessed with them)
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
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yourinstagram ready for hotel rooms to be my new home now 🕺
view all 638 comments
audreydouglass ❤️
taylorfan1 she’s one of the eras tour dancers ! make sure to follow them all
gemmastyles Best of lucks !
janravanik Let’s go !
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liked by yourinstagram, jefezoff and 3,392,087 others
harrystyles Love On Tour. Manila. March, 2023.
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harryfan1 BABYYYY
yourinstagram miss you 🤍
harryfan2 he’s pocket size
alessandro_michele ❤️
harryfan3 i love singlerry
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yourinstagram 2023 had a blank space, and i wrote @taylorswift in it. let the games begin, the era’s tour !
to the cast… i can’t wait to spend this season of life with you.
🫶✨💜🧣💃🖤🐍💘💋🪩🥂💛⏱️🍾🌃
view all 701 comments
yourbestie Wishing you the best 💘💘
taylorfan1 YOU KILLED IT
nat_b_peterson A true star love you ❤️let’s do this
taylorfan2 my dream job
annetwist ❤️
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liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 19,927 others
harryupdates HARRY ATTENDED OPENING NIGHT OF THE ERAS TOUR LAST NIGHT !!!!
view all 989 comments
harryfan1 WTF???
harryfan2 NO WAY
taylorfan1 is that really him ??
taylorfan2 HUH?
harryfan3 OMFGGGGG THE IMPLICATIONS
taylorfan3 taylor’s best ex
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liked by janravanik, gemmastyles and 20,016 comments
yourinstagram who’s coming to tampa night two?? let the games begin ⚡️
view all 907 comments
taylorfan1 obsessed with them
gracieabrams Best one out there 🕺
taylorfan2 i love the tour dancers soooo much
taylorfan3 MY SHOWWW
gemmastyles I cannot wait to see this show
↳ harryfan1 gemma hello ???
FANS VIA TWITTER
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liked by taylorfan1, annetwist and 22,827 others
yourinstagram when your boy couldn’t make it to nashville but he’s a hopeless romantic lol
view all 913 comments
taylorfan1 aweee
kamnsaunders That boy is head over heels !
taylorfan2 she has a boyfriend nooo :( she’s my crush
annetwist ❤️
↳ harryfan1 i think she’s a family friend or something, anne and gemma always comment on her posts lol
nat_b_peterson This relationship gives me life
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liked by harryfan1, taylorfan1 and 297,894 others
tmz_tv Looks like #TaylorSwift & #HarryStyles really never go out of Style. Tap the link in our bio to see what we know about their recent rekindle!
view all 1,109 comments
harryfan1 huh?
taylorfan1 SOMEBODY CALL TREE PAINE
↳ harryfan1 AND JEFF AZOFF
harryfan2 man i hate tmz with a passion
taylorfan2 y’all is this true?
harryfan3 you guys are better than believing TMZ
taylorfan3 IT COUPLE IS BACK
yourinstagram 😂😂😂😂
↳ janravanik I was about to send you this !
↳ taylorfan4 taylor’s dancers are laughing its FAKE
TMZ ARTICLE
Harry Styles and Taylor Swift have their fans buzzing with excitement at the possibility that they’re back together.. and based on the many sightings of him at Taylor’s concerts.. they may be on to something.
The former flames, who had a brief but memorable relationship back in the day, have sent the internet into a frenzy with speculations about a possible rekindling of their romance.
The' As it Was' singer was seen sneaking into the opening night of Taylor Swift's tour in Arizona, catching the attention of eagle-eyed fans who couldn't believe their luck witnessing both pop icons under one roof. But that wasn't all – Styles continued his tour attendance, popping up at shows in Tampa and Atlanta, adding fuel to the already rumors of a reconnection.
A source has also provided us pictures of Harry pulling up at Gillette Stadium in Foxborough, Massachusetts, where Taylor’s show took place this weekend.
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Their history is no secret – Taylor Swift and Harry Styles' romance made headlines years ago, with their short-lived yet highly publicized relationship making fans go crazy. From romantic strolls in Central Park to cozying up at award shows, their time together never goes out of style.
But what does Harry's sudden appearance at Taylor's tour mean? Could it just be a friendly show of support between two mega-stars, or is there something more happening behind the scenes?
Fans have taken to social media, discussing every moment of their recent encounters, analyzing their body language, and even coming up with conspiracy theories about secret messages hidden in their song lyrics. Some die-hard 'Haylor' shippers are convinced this could be the moment they've been waiting for – the reunion of one of pop culture's most talked-about couples.
Both Styles and Swift have remained notoriously private about their personal lives, keeping fans guessing and rumors going around. Neither camp has confirmed or denied the speculations, leaving the world to wonder if there's a romantic renaissance on the horizon.
As the 'Eras Tour' continues its journey across the country, all eyes remain glued to the stage, anticipating every possible hint of a rekindled spark between Harry Styles and Taylor Swift.
Stay tuned as we keep our lenses focused and our ears to the ground for any whispers, sightings or signs of this potential Hollywood romance getting back together.
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liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 10,927 others
harryupdates Harry out in New York today !
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harryfan1 AHHHHH
harryfan2 who is THAT
harryfan3 waiiiiiit whats going on
harryfan4 chill istg y’all have been sooooo dense lately, first starting rumors of him and taylor getting back together and now freaking out over harry greeting a (probably) a friend
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yourinstagram i really do 🫶🏻 new york
📸by my, my, my, my, my, loverrrr 💘
view all 940 comments
taylorfan1 she’s so prettyyyyy
audreydouglass You both give me life 🥹
janravanik Quoting the boss 🤩
gemmastyles I can’t wait to see you rock the stage tonight
↳ harryfan1 GEMMA IS GOING TO THE ERAS TOUR ???
taylorfan2 eras tour dancers give me life
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harryupdates Harry and Gemma at The Eras Tour in MetLife Stadium tonight !
view all 196 comments
harryfan1 WTF?????????
harryfan2 i’m officially believing the rumors that him and taylor at back together
taylorfan1 WE?
harryfan3 what the actually fuck is going on this is the FOURTH show he attends and now with his family ?? lord i’m coming up
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liked by annetwist, yourinstagram and 866,297 others
gemmastyles I went to The Eras Tour in my Reputation era I guess ✨🖤🐍
view all 21,036 comments
harryfan1 SLAAAY
annetwist My turn now ! ❤️
↳ harryfan2 ANNE IS GOING TO THE ERAS TOUR ??? wtf is going on
yourinstagram love you so much, so happy you could make it 🥹💘
↳ harryfan3 see i’ve been saying that she must be a family friend
harryfan4 rumors of haylor being a thing again lowkey don’t sound too crazy
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annetwist The Eras Tour with my girl @gemmastyles 👯‍♀️ watching the amazing @yourinstagram rock the stage. Of course the star of the show @taylorswift gave her all and blew us away ! Amazing night ❤️🎶
view all 23,972 comments
harryfan1 OMG
gemmastyles Oh I love being a woman 💘
↳ harryfan2 she gets it
yourinstagram love you both so much ! thanks for coming 🤍
↳ harryfan3 she must be gemma’s bff or smth
taylorfan1 HAYLOR IS SO ALIVE
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liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 17,029 others
harryupdates Harry just followed this account on Instagram !
view all 201 comments
harryfan1 oh????
harryfan2 he has attended so many eras tour shows he befriended the cast
harryfan3 she also interacts with gemma a lot 👀
harryfan4 how crazy would it be if he’s dating her and not back with taylor like everyone thinks lol
↳ taylorfan1 don’t be delusional
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liked by harryfan1, taylorfan1 and 22,017 others
harryupdates HARRY BACKSTAGE AT THE ERAS TOUR IN DENVER !!!
view all 206 comments
harryfan1 STOOOP
harryfan2 i was against the rumors of haylor rekindling but this is so 😭
taylorfan1 if i had a nickel for every time harry has attended the eras tour i’d have more than 5 nickels which is INSANE
harryfan3 the rumors are true i guess
TWITTER
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liked by gemmastyles, kamnsaunders and 27,018 others
yourinstagram the way fans figure things out never ceases to amaze me 😛 #randomthougts
view all 932 comments
harryfan1 is this who we think harry is dating?
tamiyaxlewis 😂😂 Love youuuu
taylorfan1 i want to know the eras tour inside tea
gemmastyles Welcome to my life
harryfan2 blink if you’re dating harry
harryfan3 she’s so pretty tho
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liked by harryfan1, taylorfan2 and 10,726 others
haylortea TAYLOR JUST ANNOUNCED 1989 TV WITH HARRY IN THE AUDIENCE !!! STYLE FT HARRY IS COMING
view all 201 comments
harryfan1 OMFGGG
harryfan2 WAS HARRY REALLY THERE ??
↳ taylorfan1 yes there’s pictures around twitter !
taylorfan2 i think a collab with harry is possible since it’s been denied that they’re back together !
harryfan3 THE IMPLICATIONS !
HARRY VIA INSTAGRAM STORIES
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liked by harrystyles, gemmastyles and 96,827 others
yourinstagram here’s the reason he attended so many shows 🥹💘 (if you know you know)
view all 5,927 comments
harryfan1 HUH?
kamnsaunders FINALLY !!!
harryfan2 if i can’t see his face it’s not real
annetwist Love, love ❤️
taylorfan1 this is hilarious LMAO y’all really thought it was all about haylor
harryfan3 WHY AM I CRYING THIS IS THE SOFTEST HARD LAUNCH EVER
harrystyles ❤️
↳ harryfan1 STOP
↳ harryfan3 I JUST FELL TO MY KNEES
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liked by harrystyles, gemmastyles and 102,927 others
yourinstagram Taylor Swift: Era’s Tour World Premiere 🫶🏻✨🥹 To Taylor and the cast: I just love y’all. That’s it.
view all 5,207 comments
harryfan1 okay she’s stunning
audreydouglass She’s beauty and she’s grace… love you twin 🥰
harryfan2 DID HARRY ATTEND THE PREMIERE?
↳ harryfan3 i don’t think so there’s no pics
annetwist Congratulations ❤️
harryfan4 i’ve lived 293728 lives since the first time harry was spotted at the eras tour
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liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 12,028 others
harryupdates HARRY AT THE ERAS TOUR FILM PREMIERE !!
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harryfan1 AHHHh
harryfan2 HE LOOKS SO BABY
harryfan3 my heart he gave yn her time to shine
harryfan4 I LOVE THIS COUPLE !! who would’ve thought harry would be dating one of the era’s tour dancers
taglist: @lightsoutstyles @willowpains @straightontilmornin n @sleutherclaw @gimsaysay y @hazzassmirk @platinumbarbie143 @musicforcinemas @celesteblack08 @scntfrhs @eleanordaisy @lomlolivia a @iceebabies @iloveshawn @be-with-me-so-happily @watermelonsugacry @rayisthehoe @drewrry @white-wolf-buckaroo
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libraryofgage · 1 year
Text
Addams Family Steddie AU Part 3
Part One | Part Two
To preface, a bitch is sick rn so if you see any typos, no you didn't lol
"Robin, this is serious."
Steve can perfectly see Robin rolling her eyes through the phone as she says, "Oh, right, I'm so sorry your fiance-to-be is the perfect boyfriend who takes you on wonderful dates and romances you every single second you're together."
"I'm starting to think you're jealous."
"I'd only be jealous if Eddie had tits."
"He'd probably get some if I asked."
In the silence that follows, Steve can imagine Robin's scrunched face: her crinkled nose and curled lips and generally disgusted eyebrow furrow. He counts down from six in his head and then mouths along as Robin says, "I'd hang up if I weren't so invested in your love life."
"For someone so invested, you're not helping."
He hears a put-upon sigh through the speaker and returns it with a sigh of his own. Steve gives up on sitting properly and collapses back onto his bed, staring at the unmoving ceiling fan Hulyet is currently hanging from to nap.
"Fine, fine, what's the actual problem again?" Robin asks, her question followed by the sound of her shutting a book (one of her science textbooks based on the sound it makes when closing) so she can give Steve her full attention.
"Eddie is always planning our dates, and they're always really good, right? So I want to plan a date in return, but I have no clue how to plan something we'll both equally enjoy. In fact, I have no clue how Eddie plans our dates in the first place."
"Just start with something he likes and try to find something you'll like in it."
"Okay, say it again, but pretend I'm five."
Robin sighs again, and Steve hears the creaking of her bed as she collapses onto it. "Okay, the last date he planned, it was a hockey game, right?"
"Yeah."
"So, you like sports. Hockey is an obvious jump from there, but was Eddie also having fun at the game?"
Steve hums, reviewing their date from the week before. He hadn't expected Eddie to pull out hockey tickets, but he'd looked forward to it nonetheless. The game itself was fun, and the rink was cold enough that Steve had been able to scoot closer to Eddie and complain about being chilly.
Of course, Eddie's immediate response was to pull out a lighter, open it, and flick a flame to life while asking, "How big of a fire do you want, Stevie?"
For a brief moment, Steve had considered the question. But then he'd realized a fire would disrupt the hockey game, so they probably shouldn't start one.
After grabbing the lighter and stuffing it into his own pocket, Steve leaned closer and whispered, "Wouldn't you rather put your arm around me?" Eddie had lit up, and his smile was wide enough to make Steve feel blinded as he wrapped an arm around Steve's waist and pulled him closer.
It had been wonderful and romantic, right up until both of them got way too into the game and completely forgot about cuddling in favor of shouting at the players to hit harder and actually draw some blood to get the puck.
Steve smiles a little at the memory. "Yeah, he enjoyed the violence."
"Well, we all enjoy seeing buff people get a little bloody," Robin says, and Steve can see the way she's nodding like a wise man. "Anyway, he probably knew he'd enjoy the whole violence part of the sport. So, follow that formula."
"What formula are you seeing here?"
"Thing fiance-to-be likes plus a small part of it you could probably enjoy equals romance. If that's too hard, just get him a gift and plan the date around that."
Well, it sounds easy when she says it like that. "Why didn't I think of that?"
"Because I'm the genius here, obviously. Now go plan a date so you can tell me all about it later. And I expect details, Steven. Sordid details. If I'm not quivering in my bodice, what's the fucking point."
"You don't even have a bodice. And my name isn't Steven."
"I'll get one, and your name is whatever's comedically appropriate."
"I found a good website for bodices and corsets, actually. I can send it to you."
"What are you doing on that website, Steve?" Robin asks, her voice light and eager.
Steve smirks, pulling the phone away from his ear and saying, "Wouldn't you like to know," before quickly hanging up. The phone stays silent for three whole seconds before Robin immediately calls back, but Steve is too busy laughing to actually pick up.
Part of why the Munsons moved to Steve's neighborhood is the cemetery within walking distance. The cemetery is at the very back of the neighborhood, hidden from people who don't actually live there. The front of the cemetery is perfectly presentable. The gravestones are clean and new, and flowers decorate most graves while others hold pebbles and stones of various sizes and colors.
The back of the cemetery, however, is a Munson paradise. The grass gives way to brown, under-watered weeds and dirt, the faded gravestones are covered in moss and plants climbing them, and the trees are perpetually leafless and spindly to create the perfect horror movie atmosphere. It was like that even before the Munsons moved to the neighborhood, but Steve doesn't actually know why.
The back of the cemetery is where Steve leads Eddie, occasionally looking back to make sure the blindfold covering Eddie's eyes is still in place. "You know, I was expecting more than walking when you pulled out the blindfold," Eddie says, squeezing Steve's hand.
"We're almost there," Steve promises, looking around them until he spots the picnic blanket and pillows he'd laid down earlier in front of a blank gravestone. There's a small projector on the edge of the blanket, facing the wall of a mausoleum, with a DVD player connected to it.
Steve stops at the edge of the blanket, takes a deep breath, and moves to stand in front of Eddie. "Okay," he says, reaching up and carefully pulling off the blindfold.
When it comes off, Eddie looks straight at Steve, not sparing a glance at the set-up behind him. "Are you the surprise?" he asks, sliding his hands around Steve's hips and pulling him closer.
"I'm not much of a surprise," Steve points out.
"You're the best gift I could ask for," Eddie says, sealing the words with a kiss that would be too easy for Steve to get lost in.
And he almost does, but he pulls away before Eddie's tongue can get too far into his mouth. "No, wait, you haven't seen the actual surprise," he mumbles, putting a few inches between them and gesturing to the picnic blanket.
Eddie's eyes light up, and he pulls Steve to the blanket. He sits against the headstone and tugs Steve down next to him. "Movie date in a graveyard? Very romantic, sweetheart," Eddie says, leaning close and kissing Steve's jaw.
"Well, that's not the whole surprise," Steve replies, leaning his head on Eddie's shoulder. He hears a quiet hum from above him and adds, "This is our spot."
"What? Like a make-out spot? We gonna sneak out in the middle of the night to make out right here twice a week?"
"Only twice?" Steve asks, his voice teasing as he tilts his head back to see Eddie smile. He doesn't give Eddie the chance to answer, though. Instead, he takes Eddie's hand and plays with his engaged-to-be-engaged ring. "I mean, this is our spot. We're leaning on our gravestone."
A few seconds pass before Eddie seems to actually process the words. When he does, he straightens up, tugging Steve away from the gravestone with him so he can see it. "Is this...a couple's plot?" he asks, his eyes wide as he looks from the stone to Steve.
Steve flushes, heat rising in his cheeks as he looks away. He takes a deep breath, deciding to just verbalize his thought process when he'd bought the plot. "I figured, well, we wouldn't want to be apart even in death. So we'll be buried together, you know? Our corpses will be embracing as we rot for eternity, becoming skeletons and dust that will only know each other."
The words are followed by silence, making Steve wonder if he somehow fucked up with his gift. He braces himself and glances up at Eddie to ask if he doesn't like it only to be pushed back on the blanket. Steve blinks, his brain barely catching up as Eddie kisses him. This is, by far, the most desperate kiss Steve has ever received from Eddie. It's a kiss that's practically begging Steve to give Eddie permission to swallow him whole, tuck him securely into the marrow of his bones, and hold him there so they'll never be apart.
Steve is a little confused, but he's far more interested in kissing back, sliding his fingers into Eddie's hair and tugging playfully as he bites Eddie's tongue. A rough growl in response sends shivers down Steve's spine, goosebumps spreading across his arms as Eddie pushes his hands under Steve's shirt.
Surprisingly warm fingers trail across Steve's abdomen before Eddie's hands settle on his hips, his pinkies teasingly pushing past the waistband of his jeans. Steve sighs softly, relaxing at the familiar sensation as he hooks one of his legs over Eddie's waist, pulling him close until their hips and chests are flush against each other.
Eddie grins against Steve's lips, his left hand trailing down Steve's waist to rest on his thigh, holding it in place as he teasingly grinds their hips together. Steve jolts, a surprised, quiet moan escaping him as his hands start to tremble with adrenaline and...well, sheer horniness if he's being honest.
"Please tell me we can fuck on our future grave," Eddie says, his voice low and husky as he speaks against Steve's lips.
Steve groans, fully agreeable to the idea only to realize two very important things. One, he doesn't have any lube, and two, he was actually looking forward to watching movies with Eddie, which wouldn't really happen if they got too distracted. Plus, you know, the whole sex in public thing, but that's not as big of a deal. Who's going to be visiting the cemetery on a Wednesday?
But Steve doesn't want to completely dash Eddie's hopes and the sheer joy in his eyes at the idea, so he presses another kiss to his lips and promises, "Later, Eddie."
Despite his disappointed expression, Eddie doesn't argue. He just sits up, pulling Steve with him so he stays in his lap. "I'll hold you to that, sweetheart," he whispers, kissing down Steve's neck until he reaches the point where it meets his shoulder. He bites down there, causing Steve to inhale sharply as he licks and sucks a hickey onto his skin.
Steve shakily exhales, biting his bottom lip to keep himself grounded. When it feels like Eddie is about to start on another hickey, Steve uses his grip on his hair to pull him back. "Stevie," Eddie breathes, his eyes dark as he looks up at him, "you know what pulling does to me."
Steve snorts, kisses his cheek, and climbs off his lap. "Keep it in your pants for now, babe. I actually want to get to the other part of this date," he says, moving over to the projector.
"And what's that?" Eddie asks.
"Classic monster movies," Steve says, grinning at the excited gasp that comes from Eddie as he turns on the projector. Once it boots up, the mausoleum wall shows the opening menu for a Monster Movie Collection DVD. Steve puts on Frankenstein, making sure the movie actually starts and the opening credits begin rolling before climbing back into Eddie's lap.
"I love you so fucking much," Eddie says, wrapping his arms around Steve's waist and hugging him close as he rests his chin on Steve's shoulder.
Steve grins, leaning back against him and idly playing with one of the rings on Eddie's fingers. "I love you, too. Now shut up and watch the movie. No more making out until at least this one is over."
"Yes, sir."
Steve can't help a soft laugh. He takes Eddie's hand, raises it to his lips, and playfully bites his palm before lacing their fingers together and focusing on the movie.
Tag List: @estrellami-1, @justforthedead89, @starman-jpg, @abstractnaturaldisaster, @sugartin, @ashwagandalf, @xjessicafaithx, If anyone else wants to be tagged in potential future parts, just let me know!
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cookiescribble · 3 months
Text
New In Town
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A/N: hey there, to the anon that requested this, I lost your actual submission but I hope this lived up to expectation! I started writing this, forgot I started it, and then got sick but I tried my best haha, enjoy! Happy pride month! - mod ghost
p.s. sorry to mod angel, I definitely called her out in this fic lol 
You had only been at the BAU for about a week, but something about Spencer made you feel like a moth drawn to a flame, as cliche as that might be. Sometimes, you’d catch yourself staring at him during briefings or even just sitting at your respective desks. Watching the way his hands would move over pages as he tore his way through books. His reading speed always amazed you, and you wondered how he actually retained any of the information he was taking in. Yesterday, he’d caught your gaze, making eye contact with you and giving you a polite grin before returning back to whatever it was he’d been doing. Your heart nearly pounded itself out of your chest, which is about when it dawned on you that you definitely had feelings for him. Shit, you thought to yourself briefly. It was probably best to keep this to yourself for now, you’d heard a lot about everything he had been through from the other members of the team and figured it’d be best to leave him alone. Even if you thought this while in private, it didn���t seem to actually stop you from flirting with him. What could possibly go wrong? He’d say no, but that wasn’t terrible. A few days later, you found him at his desk before the team was about to fly off to investigate a new case. You, however, weren’t cleared for field work yet, so you had to work in something before he went,
Gently putting a hand on his shoulder to get his attention, you leaned in closer to him as you said, “Have a safe flight, pretty boy, I’ll see you when you get back,” then walked off toward Garcia while practically being able to feel his eyes on you. Whether that was a good thing or not, you couldn’t tell, and the idea of having to wait until the team came back stirred up some nervousness that seized in the pit of your stomach but you pushed it aside for now to focus on helping Penelope here in Quantico. “I’m sorry, why is Reid making that face?” She laughed as she all but chased you further down the hall and away from the bullpen.
“I’m fairly certain I just called him pretty boy or something, I don’t know. I might’ve blacked out.” You sighed, averting her gaze as much as possible as you pushed through the door leading to all of her equipment.
“I knew it! You have a crush on Spencer!” Garcia cried in excitement, seconds away from jumping up and down. “Could you yell it any louder?? He might hear you! China might hear you–” You grab her arm as you whisper hurriedly, pulling her through the door and closing it behind her, “--wait, am I really that obvious about it?? Who else knows other than you?” “Mainly us girls, don’t worry. But I might be able to help you, see if he likes you back?” “What, have my own spy crew just for a crush? No way, I’ll get over it.” You brush a hand through your hair in embarrassment and frustration as you and her sit next to each other at her desk. All you could think about was Spencer, though. Nothing that happened throughout the day could fix that. Especially when he called a few hours later to ask for information. Garcia picked up the phone before you could react or steel yourself to the idea of talking to him again. “Hey, tall dark and nerdy, talk to me” She spoke quickly, leaning back in her chair. It made you blush, which you silently cursed her for. “Uh, hey, Garcia,” he paused to chuckle, “I need your help–” “Obviously” You started to get up to escape the room and compose yourself, but, much to your chagrin, he’d heard the background noise over the phone, “Is someone else in there with you?” His voice crackled over the phone line again, which made Penelope stop you from moving, 
“Yes, actually,” She nudged you as she spoke,
“H-uh, Hi, Spence.” You spoke up, trying to sound lighthearted. The idea of speaking to him again this soon seized your heart and made it hard to breathe. 
“Hey…as you can probably hear, I made it here safe. No need to worry.” There was a bit of a teasing tone to his voice. You’d never quite heard him use that tone with you before. Or anyone for that matter. 
Before you had time to process that, they were on to talking about the case again and you were able to escape the situation pretty much unscathed. 
The rest of the team didn’t return until later that week, on a Friday, so Garcia got pizza for everyone to celebrate. 
She came to grab you from your desk and the two of you arrived just in time to see something that stirred up something in you, so deep you think you were possessed by one of your distant descendants.
“You’re cutting pizza with a butter knife?!” You ask incredulously, not meaning to come off so viciously. 
Spencer froze, plastic butter knife still in hand as he stabbed into the pizza. 
“We…We don’t have a pizza cutter here, and some of the slices were kinda stuck together with cheese…” he explained, almost frozen in place as he awkwardly chuckled at the ridiculous nature of the conversation while Garcia couldn’t help but laugh. 
“Sorry, I honestly have no idea what came over me. Let’s uh, let’s dig into this pizza, huh? Now that I’m done getting possessed by my grandma?” You joke, going closer to the table with Penelope and grabbing one of the slices that were…cut. Definitely not sawed apart poorly. He’d tried his best. At this current moment, Spencer Reid was honestly just lucky he was cute. Despite that, you smiled politely and spent time with your found family that is the BAU.
That night, after all the fun was over and it was time to go home for a much needed crash, it had been just you and Spencer. You both volunteered to clean up after everything so that everyone else could go home for some much needed rest and to get a start on their weekend. They tried to insist that they’d help, too, but everyone was tired and it wasn’t that big of a mess so there was no need for everyone to stay. 
You thought it’d be fine, because surely you could be at least somewhat normal around him, right? 
The two of you easily talked and joked the whole time, the energy in the room fairly normal until you both reached for the same pizza box. Your hands brushed together and you instinctively looked up at each other, a similar electric feeling running down both your spines. 
“Oh, I can um…I can grab that.” you speak softly, almost afraid to speak in the sudden intense silence. 
“It’s okay, I got it. It’s the least I could do after you almost stabbed me earlier for my inferior method of cutting pizza.” Spence replied with a soft smile.
“Hey, you were the one with the plastic knife, mister.” 
“I’m never gonna live that down, am I?” 
“Not as long as I’m here,”
You both broke out into laughter then there were a few moments of just eye contact before you’d started to lean in closer slowly. Like too fast of a movement would scare him away. It seemed like he would, too, but before either of you could touch the other, he quickly stood up and away from you.
“Sorry—um, it’s been a long day. I can take care of taking out the rest of the trash, you don’t have to stick around. Thanks for the help, though.” He says hastily, grabbing one of the two bags of garbage bags that sat by the door and quickly rushing off. 
You sighed to yourself and grabbed your bag, heading out for the night and silently cursing at yourself. If it wasn’t awkward before, it would be now. 
But you just couldn’t help yourself around Spencer, everything about him screamed out to you like some sort of siren call. Every time you weren’t around him, basically anything would remind you of him. 
You just needed to bite the bullet and ask him out, so that’s exactly what you were going to do. The worst he could do was say no, right? 
So the week after that, you had finally worked up some courage. The whole team was at a bar together, Spencer being the only one not drinking as per usual. You, being about two drinks in at this point, had enough of tiptoeing around him. 
It’s now or never, you thought. 
You went over to him while everyone else was doing their own thing in different spots in the bar, so it was just the two of you, and you sat yourself next to him. 
Spencer looked over and smiled kindly at you, his brown doe eyes shining in the dim lighting. Your chest flooded with warm affection as soon as you made eye contact with him, and it made you that much more sure about this. 
“Hey, having fun?” he asked cheerfully, the happiest you’d heard him in a while. Since you’d started working at the BAU, you’d realize when you thought about this moment later. 
“Yeah, but um…I really need to ask you something, Spence.” 
“Oh? By all means, go ahead,” he gestures for you to continue, turning his body toward yours to give you his full attention. 
“Okay so…um…I…I like you. Like, I really like you—“ you started to say, before he interjected. 
“This isn’t sounding like a question”
“Spencer, please”
“Sorry, go on” he sheepishly smiled, apparently having fun teasing you a little. 
“Thank you, but I uhh…shit—“ you cursed. 
“You were saying you really like me?” 
“Right—so, I was wondering…if…if you’d want to…maybe…go out sometime? With me?”
“We…are out,” he gestured to the bar around the two of you, “right now.” 
“That’s not what I mean—“
“I know what you mean, and I…I’m not sure.”
“What?”
“I’ve had a lot happen to me recently, between going to jail and everything that happened with Cat, as well as everything else and our jobs themselves…I’m not sure I have room to have someone else in my life. No matter how much I like you, too.” 
You nearly gasped when he said he liked you, too, but you held it back. This was the most emotionally vulnerable he’d ever been around you. You weren’t going to take advantage of that. 
“Well…” you take his hand in both of yours, holding it close to your chest. “We could take things slow…ride things out, y’know? But that’s only if you want to. I’m here to make sure you’re happy. Whether it’s with me or not.”
He stared at you silently for a moment, considering everything you’d just told him. He kept glancing from your eyes to your lips, as if he was contemplating at a speed your slightly buzzed mind wasn’t quite up to keeping up with. 
Before you could speak or even think further on it, he was leaning forward and speaking low enough that only you would be hearing it. 
“Let’s go, let’s go back to my place. We’ll talk about this more, I just can barely hear myself think with the music in here.” 
You nodded and stood up from the booth, both of you waving goodbye to the rest of the team with gentle smiles before walking off. 
Back at his apartment, he barely had the door closed 5 minutes before he was kissing you. 
So much for talking things through. 
The way his lips pressed to yours felt passionate, desperate even. Like he’d been waiting to do this for a long time. You let yourself relax into it, your hand drifting up to tangle your fingers in his hair. Everything about kissing him just made you want to lose yourself in him until you weren’t sure where each of you ended and began. 
Then, just as suddenly as he started, he pulled away, taking in deep breaths and pushing his hair back away from his face but still close enough that you could feel his breath ghosting over your face. 
“Sorry, that…I shouldn’t have—“
Before he could finish, you were pulling him back in for more. He wasn’t about to get away with a kiss like that with just a simple ‘sorry’. Not if you had anything to say about it. 
The two of you ended up tangled together in his bed for the rest of the night, the blanket gently wrapped around you both in a comfortable silence. 
Talking could wait, for now you were just…together, and that was more than enough.
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genericpuff · 9 months
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LORE | REKINDLED EPISODE 41 - TOWER 4
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< Previous episode | Next episode >
Nothing quite sets in the holiday spirit like SPOOOOKY SHIT-
Can you believe it's been a year since Rekindled actually started? The way time flies when you're having fun. I had actually forgotten I had redrawn a lot of those first few episodes when I made it an official "thing" (i.e. when I put it on an update schedule and signed my life away foreverrr /j) so tracing back when Rekindled officially 'began' had me finding old versions of those first few episodes that were oooooof bro-
Okay, but for real, Rekindled's come a long way, and it still has a long way to go still which makes me so excited. As much as those who see what I do here like to assume it's purely out of spite and hate, I really do love working on this comic, and that includes the part of the process where I revisit old episodes of LO that, even after everything, I still love. The newer seasons may be dead to me, but what it used to be has a special place in my heart, and Rekindled has really helped me explore what could have been. It's made Saturday nights a thrill for me again - I get to enjoy two whole doses of LO content now, with a fun balance of flavors that makes being a part of this community twice as fun as normal. You could say it's really rekindled my flame for LO-
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A very special thanks to @banshriek, who's helped me bring Rekindled to a whole new level that wouldn't exist without them. They've been an amazing assistant and a wonderful friend and I'm so thankful to have them in my corner <3
And thank you! All of you, for following along with Rekindled, reading my essays, destroying my ask inbox, and just being an awesome community full of awesome people. I've got a busy year ahead with lots of stuff planned, from art markets and expos to plot threads in Rekindled that I'm hyped af to get to; not to mention Lore Olympus officially ends this year, meaning I'll undoubtedly have loads to talk about (which fills me with both a strange sense of excitement and dread at the same time LOL) I'm gonna try and take it all in the best spirit that I can, I wanna come out of this shit sparkling like one of Hades' diamond golf balls.
Let's make 2024 a fucking banger.
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librababe99 · 1 month
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Ashes of Desire
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CW: emotional manipulation, violence, danger, angst...
Summary: On a humid New Orleans night, you’re drawn to the dangerously magnetic Remy LeBeau, despite every warning. His red eyes and easy charm pull you into a whirlwind of stolen kisses and whispered secrets. Word Count: 1548
AN: Last post for the night y'all and I swear I'll leave your timelines alone😂❤️ I feel like I've been writing a lot of angst? But I honestly love it LOL---I hope you enjoy and as always comments/feedback are appreciated! - Libra * .♡ *:・゚✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆
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The humid New Orleans night clung to you like a second skin, the air heavy with the scent of rain and the whispers of secrets lurking in every shadowed corner. Bourbon Street was alive, pulsing with the vibrant energy of the city—jazz music spilling from open doors, laughter mingling with the clinking of glasses, the occasional shout cutting through the noise. But none of it reached your ears. Your focus was singular, unwavering, fixed on the figure leaning casually against the brick wall just beyond the reach of the neon lights.
Remy LeBeau.
He was every bit the enigma you’d always known him to be—cool, composed, with an air of danger that clung to him like the night itself. His red eyes glowed faintly in the dim light, a predatory gleam that set your nerves on edge and made your pulse quicken. You knew better. You knew the stories, the warnings whispered by those who had crossed paths with the infamous Gambit and lived to tell the tale. He was a thief, a rogue, a man with more blood on his hands than you cared to think about. But there was something about him, something dark and magnetic that drew you in like a moth to a flame, even when you knew you were going to get burned.
He pushed off the wall with a lazy grace, his smirk deepening as he sauntered toward you, each step deliberate, measured. The slick cobblestones beneath his boots barely made a sound. The narrow alleyway you had cornered him in felt suddenly too small, too intimate, the walls pressing in on you as the space between you dwindled.
“You shouldn’t be here,” he drawled, his voice thick with that unmistakable Cajun accent that sent shivers down your spine. His gaze flickered over you, a mix of amusement and something darker, something that made your heart race in a way that had nothing to do with fear. His eyes were unreadable, a storm behind a veil of indifference, and yet, you couldn’t look away.
“I could say the same about you,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady, trying to ignore the way his presence seemed to fill the alleyway, crowding out everything else. You had come here tonight with a purpose, but now that you were face-to-face with him, you weren’t sure what that purpose was anymore.
He chuckled, a low, dangerous sound that curled around your insides like smoke. “Always de stubborn one, ain’t ya, chère?” he said, closing the distance between you in two strides. He reached out, his fingers brushing a strand of hair away from your face, and the contact sent a shock through your system. Your skin tingled where he touched you, a stark contrast to the cold fear creeping up your spine.
“Chère, you keep playin’ dis game, but you don’t even know the rules,” he murmured, his voice low and rough, the words a warning and a promise all at once.
Your breath hitched as his hand lingered on your cheek, the warmth of his skin making you acutely aware of just how close he was. You wanted to pull away, to put some distance between you, but your body betrayed you, leaning into his touch instead, craving the warmth and the danger that came with it.
“I know enough,” you whispered, though the words felt hollow, even to your own ears. What were you doing? What did you hope to achieve? This man was danger personified, a storm wrapped in charm and lies, and yet, here you were, drawn to him like an addict to their poison.
His eyes darkened, a flicker of something you couldn’t quite place passing through them—something that made your chest tighten painfully. “Maybe,” he said softly, almost as if he were talking to himself. “But sometimes, knowin’ ain’t enough to save you.”
The words hung in the air between you, heavy and ominous, and for a moment, you thought you saw a flicker of regret in his eyes, a vulnerability so fleeting you almost doubted you’d seen it at all. But it was gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by the familiar mask of nonchalance that he wore like armor.
“You think I’m gonna save you, chère?” he teased, leaning in closer, his breath hot against your ear, sending another shiver down your spine. “’Cause I ain’t no hero. Never been, never will be.”
“I don’t need saving,” you snapped, finding your voice again, even as your heart hammered in your chest. “Especially not from you.”
The smirk that curled his lips was sharp, dangerous, and it made something inside you twist painfully. “Dat’s where you’re wrong, ma belle. I’m the one you should be runnin’ from.”
But you couldn’t run. Not now. Not after you’d come this far, not after everything that had led you to this moment. And that’s how you found yourself tangled up in his arms, lips crashing together in a kiss that was more desperation than passion, a collision of need and fear and something else you couldn’t name. It was a mistake. You knew that. But in that moment, with the world spinning around you and the taste of him on your tongue, it was the only thing that felt real.
He kissed you like he was drowning, like you were the last breath of air he’d ever have, and you let him. You let him because for once, you wanted to be the one who made him feel something, anything. Even if it was just for a moment.
But it wasn’t just a moment.
It was a series of stolen kisses, whispered words in the dark, and nights spent in each other’s arms, pretending that this—whatever it was—could be something more. You told yourself it was just a fling, just a game, but deep down, you knew it was a lie.
You were falling for him. And it was going to destroy you.
Because Remy LeBeau was not a man who could be saved. He was a storm, wild and unpredictable, and you were caught in the eye of it, helpless to do anything but watch as everything you knew was torn apart.
He warned you. He told you to stay away. But you didn’t listen. You thought you could handle it, handle him, but now you were drowning in the mess you’d made, and there was no one to pull you out.
And Remy? He was still there, still holding you close, but you could see the cracks in his façade, the way he looked at you like he was waiting for the inevitable. He wasn’t going to save you. He was going to drag you down with him, and there was nothing either of you could do to stop it.
“Remy,” you whispered one night, your voice barely audible over the sound of rain pattering against the window. The city outside was alive, but in that quiet room, it felt like you were the only two people in the world. “What are we doing?”
He didn’t answer right away, just held you tighter, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin, as if he could memorize the feel of you beneath his touch. “Survivin’, chère,” he said finally, his voice rough and tired. “We’re just survivin’.”
But you both knew it was more than that. You weren’t surviving—you were burning. And sooner or later, there would be nothing left but ashes.
But even as that truth hung heavy between you, you couldn’t let go. You couldn’t walk away. Because as much as it hurt, as much as it tore you apart, you needed him. And that was the most dangerous thing of all.
So you stayed. You stayed even though you knew it was killing you, even though you knew that every kiss, every touch, was another step closer to the edge.
The nights grew longer, the days more unbearable as the weight of your choices pressed down on you. Remy was a constant presence, always there in the shadows of your mind, a reminder of everything you were trying to escape and everything you couldn’t bear to lose. The more time you spent with him, the more you felt the edges of your sanity fray, the more you felt yourself slipping further into the abyss.
You began to notice the small things, the things that only someone who was hopelessly entangled would see—the way his laughter never quite reached his eyes, the way his hands would tremble just slightly when he thought you weren’t looking. The way he would watch you when he thought you were asleep, his expression soft and almost…broken.
But those moments of vulnerability were fleeting, gone as soon as they appeared, replaced by the mask you had come to know so well. He was still Remy LeBeau, the charming, dangerous thief who could steal your breath with a smile and break your heart with a whisper. He was still the storm you had foolishly decided to weather, even as it tore your world apart.
And when the end came—because it would come, you knew that now—it would be on his terms, not yours.
Because Remy LeBeau was a thief, and he had stolen more than just your heart.
He had stolen your soul.
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Taglist: @venssu
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orshii · 1 month
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☣︎Whispers of The Darkened Mist☣︎
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☣︎ Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x female reader ☣︎ Word count: 8,8 k ☣︎ Warnings ☣︎ - cursing, mentions of death, injury, mentions of blood, suggestive
☣︎ Summary: The world is shrouded in a dark, venomous mist that makes survival nearly impossible. Alone and hunted by other desperate survivors, you were on the brink of giving up. But then, Kim Hongjoong's fearsome crew found you. Though Hongjoong seemed intimidating and distant at first, he secretly cared for you, even if he didn’t show it. Now, in a world where betrayal could mean the difference between life and death, will you be able to trust each other enough to survive?
Or will hidden tensions tear you apart before the world does?
☣︎ A/N: I would've never thought I was going to write something like this lol. This is really the first time for me. This is totally new territory for me and I tried my best istg, idk it just happened. Actually, it started because I dreamt about this world and I woke up saying I have to write something with this. I don't know if it even makes sense but I hope you enjoy it as much as I did while writing and I hope it's not so confusing, lmk. Also sorry for the mistakes I am really trying. I might return to this world with the other members *wink wink* (divider)
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The world went quiet. Darkness embraced the streets and buildings, creating a bubble around the earth that whispered danger. The streets were empty along with the fields that were supposed to be full of wildflowers. But everything was black, it looked like hungry flames consumed the planet, leaving behind nothing but emptiness. The planet became more and more harder to survive for humans, they needed to adapt to the odd situation that came with not being able to breathe fresh air for too long.
The air was tainted with alchemical toxins, giving humans only a few minutes to find shelter where the air was filtered and cleaner than the toxic atmosphere outside.
It was tough, people's freedom was taken away the day when simultaneous terrorist attacks occurred worldwide. That we call the Black Day since. They filled the air with nuclear gas that came in the form of black smoke, which blinded the people immediately, because of how dense the smoke looked. Being too much in the smoke makes people feel dizzy, like they are a little drunk, feeling intoxicated from the venomous air spreading in their lungs like rivers all around a map. If the ones that were in the smoke for more than five minutes without a mask, their days ended for good. Specialized masks prevent the gas from getting into your lungs, but those are hard to get, and if you are not that lucky to somehow provide one for yourself, you are doomed. It's breaking into a lab that has a lot of these types of masks—but these are rare to find—or it's killing someone that has the mask.
This is the game of survivor. But this time it's not just a game.
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It's already five years, five years of the world being in infinite darkness, the sun was already a forgotten phenomenon. More than half of the population was gone. No one could expect something like this. People who were still here were the strongest kind, it's not easy to survive five years in a world that was doomed for eternity. The world changed completely, it wasn't the type of survival where people needed to work to get money and to buy everyday necessities. It was the type of survival when people needed to fight for the things they needed, to search every inch of the cities that were ruined into specks of dust so they could find some supplies that they needed to survive.
If you were alone, you had no chance. People usually gathered together, because it was easier to survive along with others than being alone in the big and dark world that held only surprises for you. Being alone in the wild is like you are prey that has nowhere to run. People hunt for the lost ones because they have nothing better to do.
I had luck. A crew of random people found me on the top of a building unconscious, where I ran up to find shelter away from the smoke that was spreading through the air. In the beginning, there were places where the smoke still did not reach, it was spreading slowly, and after trying to survive for five months alone, being tired of the constant running away from the toxic air, that haunted me even in my nightmares. I stopped. I was on the verge of giving up. I was ready to let the fog consume me, to eat my soul and take me to a better place.
I was almost there, I could see the sun above me, which was beaming at me, embracing me in a tight and warm hug. I felt like finally I could rest and leave this world behind in peace.
But there was nothing like the sun above me and the warmth I felt was hands around me that pulled me up from the dirty ground on the top of a building that was so high, I could feel the warm beam of the sun.
That was the last time I felt the warmth of the sun. Since then, I had already forgotten how it felt and how the sky looked like when the sun was rising or setting down. The people who came to that exact building when I wanted to give up, slowly became my family. Felt like it was destiny. It needed to happen. It was a sign from life, that whispered I should fight until my last breath. And from that day, I decided I was not going to give up.
Kim Hongjoong was the leader of the crew. They saved me that day, Hongjoong lifted me into his arms and they took me to their base so I could survive. His sharp eyes were staring into mine when I was in a haze, trying to perceive what was happening. While I was recovering, I constantly saw his face in my dreams.
Surviving wasn't in my plan, those five months were torture, the worst days of my life, I had no food, and I needed to kill a little squirrel someday to get some strength from its meat. I needed to do a lot of things I could've never imagined I was capable of doing. The worst was when I needed to kill a woman, that had the mask I desperately needed.
This was life. To survive you need to do everything, and when our survivor instincts turn on, we can't turn them off. We become unstoppable and we lose our humanity. It drives us crazy until we can't think clearly. That was when I thought it was better if I gave up. But when they found me and did not let me die there, I realized, it wasn't my choice to die, if destiny wanted me to survive, then I was going to fight until my last breath. I owed my life to these people and one day I might get the opportunity to pay them back.
In theory, it was Kim Hongjoong who brought me to their base; it was his decision. But as the others later told me, he intended to leave me there to die. He argued that I wasn't their problem and wanted to abandon me. However, the others insisted on checking if I was still alive. Hongjoong was prepared to leave me behind, but the others refused, so he had no choice but to take me with them.
And since that day they became my family. Even though Hongjoong hated me for some reason, probably because he did not want someone new in their crew back then—especially a girl—he did some things that made me believe he did not hate me. For example, when they found me, he was the one who took me to their base in his arms—because he did not let anyone else do it.
Or times when it was my turn to explore an unknown sector of the city, Hongjoong never let me go alone. He always sent Wooyoung with me because of his exceptional archery skills—his arrows never missed their mark. Wooyoung was there to protect me if anything went wrong, and Hongjoong made sure I was safe at all times, even though he pretended not to care about me. At first, Hongjoong seemed unapproachable, with his strong charisma and the aura of a true leader. He was the reason everyone survived, always involving us in his plans and valuing our opinions. He was prepared for every possible outcome.
There were times when some strangers attacked our base because we had just been to collect the supplies along with some important masks we needed for survival. People knew about us; we were a strong unbreakable team and it was hard to break through.
And when they attacked us, it was a usual night. We were sleeping.
They managed to kill one of us. I am never going to forget that horrible day. It was a girl, who we saved just two weeks ago. I saw myself in her, he was as broken as me when they first found me on the top of that building. But when we found the girl, her eyes were shining and it was full of hope and with want of surviving, not like mine back then.
After the night they attacked us, we started to be more careful and did not trust anyone. People are here to survive; it was not a game where we could make allies with anyone. If you want to survive, you just destroy everything that comes your way. And that is why our world looks like it was destroyed by an army that looked never-ending, just to leave ashes behind.
 Hongjoong always sent me out with Wooyoung, he was good at covering someone and letting you know if there were any dangers around you. Wooyoung's charisma was captivating and he radiated happiness in this sad empire. Wooyoung's nickname was The Hawk because he had eyes like a hawk. Sometimes when I wanted to tease him, I called him pigeon and he always pouted with his rosy lips with folded arms saying he is not a pigeon.
Wooyoung became my best friend since the first day Hongjoong sent us on a mission together. He taught me a lot of survival tactics and he even showed me how to use the bow. He was the closest to me, he was like my brother who I had not seen way before the Black Day, just like my family, and it hurt, it was like losing a piece of me, that belonged to my family. It is the worst when you don't know if they survived or not if they are in a better place or outside the cruel world trying to survive. I did not know which one was better.
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We were in our bunker that was deep in the ground. This was the base of ours, where we could breathe, well—fresher air here than outside. It was built of concrete, the walls were huge and cold, and some pillars kept the weight of the building deep in the heart of the ground.
The huge hall where we were sitting, echoed the voice of Kim Hongjoong, our leader. He was standing in the middle of the room, us surrounding him. He was wearing his usual black fur coat, his black hair cut short, and his undercut as sharp as his jawline as I watched his side profile while he was speaking. With a lot of jewelry hanging from his ear, he looked intimidating and I would have given up instantly if I had run into him randomly on the empty streets. He was an interesting man. I have known him since they saved me, but he surprises me with every passing day. He was protective over his people; he would do anything for the ones who stood by him and followed him along this dark and bumpy road we were on.
I always respected him; five years is long. Our relationship was like a roller-coaster through the years. We had some times when we hated each other, and he made my stay a lot more difficult, as he always made me feel like I did not belong there. Like it was a mistake saving me. But also, there were times when he acted weird. This overprotectiveness of his came out a lot recently. And I did not know what to do with him. I couldn't yet figure him out. He was like a deep ocean full of secrets, some beasts lurking around in the dark. Kim Hongjoong was a monster and it was hard to quell him down. Especially if you betrayed him.
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Like that one time, one year ago, when those people broke into our base and killed that innocent girl. It turned out there was a traitor between us. Someone betrayed us by allying with the enemy and revealing the location of our base—or so they thought. When we managed to eliminate them all, their leader, the last one standing, warned us to find Judas among us, then took his own life.
I have never seen Hongjoong like this. The veins on his forehead were visible, as he was shouting at us to tell him who betrayed us and whose fault was the girl's death. He was wearing his usual leather vest as he downed a glass of whiskey that flew down both sides of his neck, making him look like he was psychotic. His hands were still bloody from the fighting just like his face with some red stitches on it. He was furious, he trusted these people he called his family, but someone betrayed him and he went mad. Seonghwa, his best friend and our medic, tried to calm him down, but Hongjoong just pushed him away shouting at him to leave him alone. His best friend looked at him wide-eyed not recognizing the best friend he respected so much.
Seonghwa was already part of the crew when they took me in. He once saved Hongjoong's life, and ever since, Hongjoong promised to protect him if Seonghwa used his medical skills to help their people. Seonghwa was a calm and composed guy, never showing anger or sadness. He took his work very seriously and saved many of us over the years. Though he seemed cold, his charisma was rooted in deep care—his sole purpose was to save lives.
Then Hongjoong faced me. And I froze. It was like he was pointing a gun at me and I was just a little lost bunny in the depths of the forest.
"You," He pointed at me, his eyes shooting daggers right into my eyes, making them invisibly bleed. He slowly walked towards me. "You did this, didn't you?" He looked like a predator, and my heart started to beat fast afraid of getting caught. When he was standing in front of me, I avoided his gaze. If I had looked into his eyes, I might have started to cry, because I was terrified. Then I had no choice but to look into his eyes, because something sharp lifted my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. It was his knife with a wooden handle.
I was just staring back at his eyes, and when I did not say anything, he pushed me into the room behind me with a force suddenly I saw black dots in my vision. And it wasn't better when he pushed me against the cold concrete wall, his veiny hands around my neck. The air was knocked out of my lungs and I tried to scrape his hands off my throat, but there was no point, he was much stronger than me.
"You have one second to explain, then I'm going to kill you with my bare hands." He hissed through his teeth, close to my face, his hands getting tighter around my throat.
I tried to breathe, but it was impossible, there was no way air could go through his hands that were chains around my neck. I tried to speak. "M-mfb" Some noises came out of my mouth but made no sense.
"Try harder, sweetheart." His hands squeezed more and my mouth fell open, his lips almost brushing mine. I looked at him wide-eyed, I was ready to die in between the arms that saved me.
But I didn't want to give him that satisfaction. "M-m my br-brother." The words stumbled out as a whisper, the air long gone from my lungs, his face close to mine was blurry as black dots appeared next to his black figure hovering over me.
Then a sudden wave of air hit me in the face like I was in the ocean and the waves crushed me against the sharp cliff that stubbed my lungs. I fell on the floor, on my knees, supporting myself with my hands, breathing heavily as I coughed blood on the floor. My lungs were full of air, yet I still couldn't breathe, I was on the verge of fainting. But I needed to explain. 
"Th-they told me, they have my brother." I looked at the dusty ground I was kneeling on, as a tear fell from my eyes, the bloody dust getting wet from my teardrops. I looked up at him, I still felt his hands around my throat as he was standing further from me, leaning against a table. "But I did not tell them, where our base was, Hongjoong, please, believe me." My voice cracked as I looked up at him with begging eyes. "They must have followed me when we met at the bridge, I wasn't careful enough, forgive me." I tilted my head down; I couldn't look into his eyes full of disappointment and disgust.
He pushed himself off the table and approached my sobbing figure on the floor. I only saw his shoes in front of me. "I should kill you, sweetheart. How did you even believe them? Did I teach you to believe anything they say to you?" He kneeled, lifting my chin with his fingers.
I shook my head. "But I thought I saw him, that is why I followed them. I don’t even know what I was thinking, he could be dead, but I just hoped it was really him. And when they caught me, they promised they were going to let my brother choose if he wanted to come with me. But they wanted masks in exchange. I would do anything for my brother Hongjoong and you know that so well." I looked at him desperately.
“I know, you would even betray us,” He grabbed my cheeks and lifted my head straight to his face.
“No! I would never, just listen to me, please…” I looked up with tears in my eyes.
"What happened after?" His thumb traced over my cheek to wipe away my desperate tears.
 "Then I told them I wanted to see my brother to make sure it was him—it wasn't him. So, I told them the deal was not valid anymore. They did not want to hear it, so they captured me and did not let me go. But I managed to escape, that was why I was late the other day from my exploring when you were so mad at me for staying out for so long…" I looked down at my hands on my lap, still kneeling on the floor, Hongjoong listening to me carefully, his expression getting softer but still angry. "I'm so sorry Hongjoong, you know I would never betray you and the others. You are my family, I know I made a big mistake, but for a moment I believed it was for real my brother, I was blinded by my feelings." Tears flowed down both my cheeks as I said with a weak voice, my gaze still on my hands.
"I'm glad we killed all of them." He said simply as I snapped my head up. "You should have told me though, you know you can tell me anything, sweetheart." He whispered cupping my cheeks.
"I-I know, but…I felt embarrassed of how naïve I was, they tricked me so easily, I don't want it to happen again." I wanted to be stronger, and the more I was with them, the stronger I became. "And that girl…she died because of me." I buried my face into my hands as I sobbed she was going to hunt me in my nightmares for eternity.
Hongjoong carefully withdrew my hands from my face to look into his eyes. "Sometimes we need sacrifices so we can learn from our mistakes. It happened, now we are moving forward, and you become stronger. Will you promise me?" His hands reached towards my black hair to tuck a string of hair behind my ear, his fingers tracing down on my red neck, his handprint fully visible on my skin, which is going to be red and blue reminding me of the mistake I made. I deserved it because an innocent girl died because of me.
I nodded. "I promise."
"Forgive me." He whispered suddenly. At first, I didn't know why he was apologizing but then his gaze was on my neck that mirrored perfectly the print of his hands around it.
"I deserved it," I whispered as he leaned down to kiss the redness.
"You deserve the world." He whispered in between warm pecks on my neck.
But the world was doomed anyway.  
Since that day, I have become stronger. I did not let people fool me, to lead me towards the wrong way. Hongjoong's words echoed through my mind every time I needed strength, every time I felt like I might give up.
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As we watched Hongjoong stand in the middle of the hall echoing his low voice, his black fur coat almost reaching the ground as he was wearing a black leather vest paired with black pants, the flashbacks from that night echoed through my mind as sometimes I still felt his hands around my long-healed neck. I always felt the urge to trace my fingers through my skin to calm myself down a little.
"We need to secure Sector 1 and Sector 2. Yesterday our exploring team said we are being watched again. We might have to move from here if we can't protect this base." Hongjoong turned around to look into every person's eye, who eagerly listened to Hongjoong's commanding words, then his eyes settled on mine and landed on my fingers that were on my neck. He must have noticed as it became a habit of mine and he seemed it bothered him. "Sectors 1 and 2 are around us, we need to set traps and even bombs, to slow the enemy." He averted his gaze quickly away from me as he continued.
 It was funny how people were fighting against each other when it would be much easier to ally with each other and find a solution to this venomous fog that surrounds us all the time, like our nightmares that won't leave us since the Black Day.
"I can go to Sector 2 with Jongho!" San volunteered immediately.
"That sector is big, you are going to need help. I'm coming with you!" I said immediately as I knew that sector just as the back of my hand.
Hongjoong turned in my direction and looked at me sharply. "You are staying here!" He pointed at me.
"I explored that sector before; I can help them." I stepped closer to Hongjoong determined.
"We need you here on the base, Y/N! And this is my command!" His voice came out demanding as he hovered over me.
"Actually," I heard a voice coming from behind. "Y/N could really help us, we haven't been there once with Jongho, it's a new territory."
My eyes bored into Hongjoong's trying to convince him to let me go with them, as his eyes snapped between my eyes from left to right. "I want you to stay by my side, sweetheart." He whispered so the others wouldn't hear what he said his expressions seemed like he was worried.
"It's going to be okay; we did this a lot of times, we go out quickly, doing the usual and I'll come back to you, I promise. They need me out there Hongjoong." I looked up at him sounding confident, but deep down in my heart I was always afraid of going out, anything could go wrong.
He ran his fingers through his raven-black hair frustrated. "Okay, but Yunho is going with you!" He shouted so the others could hear him and they started to move to get ready. I wanted to turn to help the others pack but I felt a hand catching my wrist.
"It's not safe now out there, everyone wants our base and everything we have. Be quick, I need you here. I-I mean we—we need you here." He stuttered at the end as he scratched his nape a little shy. Wait a minute. The scary Kim Hongjoong who almost killed me, was shy?
"Oh, you need me, Kim Hongjoong?" I teased him as I bit my lower lip lifting my eyebrows.
"Shut up and go!" He said as his lips curved up barely visible.
"Now you want me to go or stay? I can't quite figure it out—" I said smiling at him pretending to be confused. I loved to tease him.
Then his hands were suddenly on my waist as he pulled me flash against his body. "I want you to go and come back to me." He whispered onto my parted lips his last word was like an arrow that landed right on my heart, making it bleed with a new feeling I had never felt before.
"Don't worry, you can't get rid of me that easily, Kim Hongjoong," I said close to his lips as I looked deeply into his eyes then pecked his right cheek and turned around leaving a stunned Hongjoong in the middle of the hall.
We started to pack some things we needed, especially weapons. Mingi was in charge of the weapons, he always knew what kind of gun or knife suited you. His charisma was always foolish a little, his eyes always bored into your soul and made you tell him everything. He was a reliable person. Yeosang on the other hand, who was responsible for the food, was a little cold, his charisma seemed nice, but I never had the chance to talk with him. He came with Mingi three years ago and he only opened up to him. Something very traumatic must have happened to them.
We were jumping over pieces of buildings and wrecked cars on the streets, our gas masks on as we were heading towards sector two. While discovering the sector with Yunho, San, and Jongho, we set off some traps so that if someone passes, they are doomed.
When we finished setting the traps we wandered a little out of that sector, and found ourselves in an unknown sector. We wanted to turn back immediately but then Yunho saw a 12-passenger plane. It was white and cute and Yunho wanted to drive it. He was not a pilot, in fact, he had no driver's license. But we somehow trusted in him and we knew it was a very important tool in discovering the city more. We needed it and Yunho was a guy, who was just naturally good at everything. His charisma was like sunshine that can turn into a storm rather quickly.
As he managed to turn it on without any difficulties, we pushed it to a clearing so it could fly, we settled into the seats and buckled in. I was sitting next to Yunho in the pilot seats, he checked the buttons if they were working or not, he was a very sweet guy.
Until some point.
He came with his lover, Hana, they were running away from the smoke when Hongjoong offered shelter for them. There was this one time when someone attacked his lover while we were out to explore the district we were in. As I said people are willing to kill for the masks we were wearing. They just wanted the mask and it happened to be Hana's.
The ones who attacked did not make it. Yunho killed all four of them with his bare hands until they couldn't move anymore. We had no chance to help, it happened in a blink of an eye.
Since that day I knew it wasn't good to play with Yunho's nerves. The girl was his weak point and he did anything to keep her safe.
 Behind me in the passenger seats was San, who was a very buffed man, with wide shoulders and an intimidating charisma, everyone feared him who came his way, but in reality, he was just a cute guy, who loved to call Wooyoung pigeon as well. On the other side of the plane, Jongho, San's brother was sitting. He was also very muscular and carried a hammer as his weapon. Despite his imposing appearance, his charisma was sweeter than intimidating, unlike his brother's. Jongho was a man who did not speak a lot, he was similar to Yeosang, they both just observed from far away, but still coped with us easily.
The Choi brothers were unstoppable. They were the strongest links in the chain we created. Sometimes when the siblings bickered together it reminded me of my relationship with my brother and I felt jealous of them because they were there for each other, they could protect the other, but I just couldn't do it with my brother because I did not know where he was. Back then when I thought I saw my brother, hope blinded me until I was in danger. I could never let that happen. Not in this cruel world.
"It's pilot Yunho, welcome on board, we are getting off the ground in ten seconds," Yunho murmured into the microphone that was surprisingly working. We laughed at his bickering and breathed in when the machine started to move. The next thing I knew was us being up in the sky, flying through the black smog that was floating in the air constantly. My jaw dropped as I looked down, where I could barely get the shapes of the destroyed city, the buildings fallen apart, remains lying on the ground unmoving, the streets full of abandoned cars, and no living creatures in sight. I was in shock; it was totally a different point of view. As I looked further and further, as long as the fog let us. It looked horrible. Dystopian. Like it was a game where they dropped you into an abandoned city and you needed to survive. But sadly, it was not a game.
As we reached the end of the city heading towards our base, we spotted the ocean. We didn't even know we were next to an ocean the fog did not let us see it, it came in handy—maybe we could travel with ships, so we wouldn't meet with unpleasant people along the way.
Everyone was in silence as we tried to take in the view that wasn't the best in our lives. I looked down at the beach where I spotted a figure running, it looked like it was a girl, because her hair was flowing behind her and he was holding a gun wearing all black. I was so distracted watching her, that I did not notice the strange noises the plane made.
"What is happening?" San asked his voice getting worried.
"Don't worry, I can handle it," Yunho said as his face was focused, pushing some buttons on the console. He had no idea what he was doing.
"Oh my God we are going to die." Jongho's voice came from behind panicked.
I looked down, we were quite far away from the safe land, and my heart started to beat fast. There was no way it was going to end like this.
As Yunho pushed some buttons, it seemed the engine got to its full power again, and we released a sigh we all held on to that. But then suddenly the engine fully stopped and we didn't even have time to process what was happening. Only hold for our dear life, and pray to the Gods to save us. I looked at Yunho panicked who tried to control the plane to at least land in the ocean—which was safer than the dry land.
Then Yunho held my hands as I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to witness my own death. The next moment, I felt the collapse. It was overwhelming—an explosion of colors, and then everything went black. 
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The Black Day.
I was heading to my flat with my best friend from work after a tiring day when the chaos started. While we discussed with my best friend what kind of movie should we watch, that was the first time we heard the sirens. It was low and whispered danger. We did not pay much attention to it, as there were days when the city made some tests with these sirens.
But when we saw people run around panicked, my best friend held onto my arm, not wanting to let me go. Especially when the guards with scary big gas masks separated us, saying everyone needed to go to their district. I still remember the face of my best friend, when we cried trying to hold onto each other, she was heartbroken as we both cried, promising we were going to find each other. I never saw my best friend again.
When the guards told me to go home, I was lost. I wasn't in my hometown. My family lived miles away from me. I couldn't go home and see my family. I was a college student and it was my second year in university. I barely went home, because my family lived far away and I needed to work to pay my bills. It was hard not seeing my family only once a month.
But when I got close up with strange people in a crowded room, I have never felt that lost. I didn't know what to do and what was even happening. Then the people with the gas masks on came back and dragged us into a school bus to take us into an improvised survivor camp, where they only enlisted young and ambitious people. If there were children or old women, they transported them somewhere else and we never found out where they took them.
When the masked men told us what happened in the world and what are we doing there, I was full of anger and felt like I could burn the whole world down. Just as half of the population thought. And this is why the world now looked like it was in fact burned down.
The smoke was spreading unstoppably and no one knew how to stop it. So, people needed to adjust to this terrifying situation, they needed to survive. And in this survivor camp, they taught us how to do it. This was the reason I survived for five months alone. I was hoping somehow with a miracle happening I am going to meet with my family along the way. But I never saw my family again.
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I was with my family; we were eating dinner. Everyone was smiling and laughing, my brother looked at me and said how proud he was of me. My mother held my hand and told me to keep going. Then I looked at my father whose face looked a little concerned, he opened his mouth to say something—wake up—but it wasn't his voice, it came from far away, I was confused as I still looked at my father's face.
WAKE UP! I heard again.
Y/N, WAKE UP!
Then I opened my eyes and sat up breathing heavily. My head was aching so bad I needed to close my eyes for a second, then I felt a painful stinging coming from my chest.
"Finally, Cinderella managed to wake up from her long beauty sleep." I heard a familiar voice that always made my heart relieved.
"Wooyoung!" I snapped my head up to look at him. His usual black framed glass was sitting on his tall nose, his sharp eyes were boring into mine, and he was wearing a light blue hoodie that hid his well-defined body well, paired with sweatpants. I hugged him close to me.
"Are you okay? Is everyone okay?" I asked starting to get panicked. I just realized I was in one of the base's rooms, where usually the injured ones were.
"The question is mine. Are you okay? You slept like a mummy, man. Seonghwa told us, you should wake up in a few hours but you just did not wake up, Y/N, you scared me…" His voice got low as he sat next to me on the bed. "You hit your head very bad and a few of your ribs are broken, but that should heal quickly now you are awake. Thank God." My best friend said as he looked down at his fidgeting hands, and I needed to smile at the fact of how worried he looked.
"I'm okay now, Woo," I said as I scooted closer to him and leaned my head against his as he turned towards me. Then I just hugged him again, because I loved him so much, I would burn the whole world down if needed, even though it was already burnt into ashes.
Then everything just flashed in images in front of my eyes. The plane. The falling. The crushing. The blackness.
I separated quickly from Wooyoung looking at him shocked. "W-what happened? Where are the others? Tell me they are okay Woo." Sudden emotions hit me and I was so scared something would happen with them.
"Hey, relax, Y/N. They are okay." He cupped my face into his hands as I sighed in relief. "Well…mostly."
"What do you mean?" I looked at him shocked, my heart rate at the highest.
"San and Jongho made it with smaller injuries. San broke his right arm and Jongho suffered a brain concussion, but it's slight so he is going to be okay." He said caressing my cheek to calm me down. "And Yunho…he is…he is in a coma. He hit his head severely and some nerves in his brain aren't functioning. It needs time to heal. It seems very serious but Seonghwa said let's not give up hope, he is a very strong guy, and he can fight this off." He wiped the tears away that escaped from my eyes.
We were so stupid; how could we think it was a good idea to take off a random plane without any knowledge of how to drive it? We were responsible for our lives and still, we just threw it away like it was garbage. I really hoped Yunho was going to be okay. No—not hoping, because I knew he was going to be okay.
"He is going to be okay, I'm sure." I nodded in determination as I said. "How's Hana?"
"She can barely keep up, but she is next to Yunho all the time."
"How did we get back here?"
"A girl found you and helped you. She said she was at the beach right when you crushed. You were lucky to crash into the ocean; it absorbed much of the impact. So, San was on the verge of fainting when she went to the plane to see if you made it. San told her where the base was and then she ran to our base to call us. But we were occupied a little back here." Wooyoung's face became frustrated. 
"What happened here? The others?" One particular sharp face jumped into my mind and it seemed I couldn’t shake it off.
"Our base got attacked while you were away," Wooyoung said his expression getting sad.
"What? How? What the hell happened Woo?" I got up and ran my fingers through my hair stressed, ignoring the pain coming from my ribs.
"Some random people, who were well-armed, attacked our base and almost burned down the whole base. But we managed to fight them off. Oh my God, Y/N, I thought that's it. This is the end. But then these other guys came and helped us." He buried his face into his hands stressed.
"Who were they?" I asked feeling very thankful for those guys that saved my family.
"I don't know, they told us they came with good intentions and just wanted to ally with us. They call themselves Xikers or what, they are a bunch of kids but still helped us."
 I felt relieved, if the base had been burnt down, that would have been the worst. And I was so thankful everyone was okay…well mostly okay. But I still didn't know one piece of information and it bothered me, boiling my veins with worry.
"Is-is Hongjoong okay?" I asked looking down at the ground as I needed to support myself on the table behind me.
Wooyoung stood up and walked towards me, he grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes with a sadness I had never seen before.
I shook my head. "Wooyoung don't do this." Tears appeared in my eyes.
"He's…" Wooyoung reached his hand towards my cheek to tuck my hair behind my ear. "Hongjoong is—"
Then I heard a door slam and I looked towards it and I saw him. Hongjoong was standing in the doorway with an angry expression that also showed clear signs of worry. He was wearing his black leather vest a black shirt under it paired with black pants, his hair messed up, and some black strings falling onto his forehead. I was speechless for a moment, but when I came to my senses, I let go of Wooyoung's hands and ran towards Hongjoong not letting him time to even blink I wrapped my hands around his neck and hugged him strongly.
"Hey, be careful, sweetheart, you’re injured," he murmured into the crook of my neck, his hands on my waist gently pulling me away to keep my broken ribs from pressing against him.
"I don't care, you are alive," I said into his ear almost tearing up.
"Why wouldn't I be?" He asked as he pulled away to look into my eyes caressing my cheeks with a frown.
"Wooyoung told me—well it seemed on his expression you were dead…" I looked next to me angrily, where Wooyoung was leaning against the table with a shit-eating grin.
"I didn't say he was dead, I'm just good at acting Y/N, I'm glad it worked." He giggled with a devil smile.
"Jung Wooyoung, I swear to God—you son of a pigeon." I escaped from Hongjoong's arms to chase Wooyoung and slapped him as he held an arm out as a shield.
"Okay, enough. Act yourself out Wooyoung." I heard Hongjoong's voice from behind me, his hands finding their way around my waist. I didn't see his expressions but seeing Wooyoung's told me enough as his smile faded quickly and he sprinted towards the door. I followed him with my eyes squinting my eyes at him. "Hongjoong got stabbed," Wooyoung shouted lastly before slamming the door.
I turned back to Hongjoong with wide eyes. "What the hell is he talking about?"
Hongjoong sighed. "It's not a big deal." He turned away and walked towards the table next to the bed. He always did this, he always turned away when something was about him. He always cared about the others but not about himself.
"How is it not a big deal when you got fucking stabbed?" My voice got higher. I just wanted to scream at his face to not turn away from me. I walked towards him, slowly approaching him. He supported himself on the table looking down at it, his wide back facing with me. I was next to him as I saw his face, his eyes closed, his undercut showing. He looked like he was in pain, not just physically.
I reached my hands towards his chin to slowly, carefully lift it. He looked so vulnerable I was scared I might break him. When he looked at me, I saw so much pain in his eyes. He went through a lot. His family died in front of his eyes. The smoke killed them and his family shouted at him to run and to survive. I knew this was what kept him going. But after five years, only their faded memory remained. What was the reason for him to keep going?
I caressed his cheek like my hands were a feather, scared his skin might fall apart. "Where did you get stabbed?" I whispered looking into his eyes that looked so divine, that I was ready to fall on my knees.
He looked away for a moment. "On my back," He scoffed. "It's so embarrassing, I can't watch my back for a second and this happens…"
I felt worried as I looked at his face it seemed he was really ashamed of it. "Hongjoong look at me," I tilted his head towards me to look into my eyes. "It's embarrassing for the person who did it. They couldn't face you because they knew they wouldn't make it alive if they did."
"Well, they didn't make it either way." His lips curved up a little and mine as well at that.
"Take it off!" I demanded holding his vest in my hands, feeling the leather material under my touch. 
He just looked at me a little confused.
"I want to see your wound, Hong."
He just nodded and grabbed my hand to slowly take it off his body, so he could unbutton the vest, his sharp eyes never leaving mine. My heart was in my ears, I couldn’t hear the usual noises of the base coming from the other rooms. I only saw Kim Hongjoong in front of me as he unbuttoned his black shirt as well after throwing the vest on the floor. He slowly took off the shirt his upper body now fully on the sight. His abs were well-defined, his chest full of strength where a tattoo of a sneak's head was hissing at me. I reached my fingers towards the snake's head to trace the tattoo as I looked at it. Hongjoong's gaze still bored into mine. I followed the snake's figure with my finger as it came from his back, and then I walked behind him, still following the snake with my finger all over his back. My fingers traveled through the snake's length as I felt Hongjoong shiver under my touch. The snake circled all over Hongjoong's back, ending on his chest where the sneak’s head was.
I always admired the tattoo whenever I saw it, while he was working out or just changed. But I never got the opportunity to touch it, and that was one of my most wanted desires. Then there was the stab, it was stitched carefully, Seonghwa doing a good job as always, some white ointments were all over it, so it wouldn't get inflamed. I circled the wound with my finger as I heard him hissing. I leaned down a little to leave a healing kiss above it.
"So, it's going to heal faster," I whispered warmly onto his skin.
"Sweetheart," I heard his desperate voice coming from above.
I did not stop leaving kisses all around his back, following the line of the snake on his back, as I got up to his nape kissing it. My arms circled his abdomen as I left one last kiss on his neck, putting my chin on his wide shoulder. He leaned his head against mine as he kissed my temple. "Thank you," He whispered as he took my hands from his abdomen and turned around to cup one side of my cheek, his other hand on my waist pulling me close to him. I bit my lower lip as my body got hotter, my heart beating unstoppably. He looked into my eyes like I was his whole world, even though it was doomed into a speck of dust.
"I was so worried, Y/N, I thought you would never come back to me." His eyes were full of emotions and with tears.
"I said it's not easy to get rid of me." I smiled at him as I felt his fingers trace through my face.
He smiled at that too and traced his fingers through my temple, where I felt a little stinging, I didn’t even notice I got injured there as well. Then his warm lips were on my wound again.
"So, it's going to heal," His lips curved up into a sincere smile that I have never seen. It cured everything inside me, it didn’t matter if I was injured, his smile healed everything inside and outside of me. Then his hands traveled down to my waist and went under my T-shirt, touching my skin with his warm fingers.
"Let me see your wounds, Y/N," He whispered close to my lips, his eyes so genuine, that he made me trust him. I always did, since the day they found me on the top of that building.
I just nodded, signaling to him I trusted him. His fingers grabbed the hem of my oversized white T-shirt and lifted it very carefully, looking into my eyes the whole time. When he took it off, I was standing in front of him half-naked. We were now equal as both of us were standing in front of the other in a vulnerable state and were injured, yet full of passion that made our pain go away.
His eyes landed on my chest and on my ribs where a bandage was wrapped around my torso. There were a few black and blue marks under my ribs. Hongjoong traced his fingers through them carefully so as not to hurt me. Then he kneeled and looked up at me from there, his eyes questioning if he was allowed to touch me. I just nodded as words simply couldn't escape my mouth.
Hongjoong then leaned against my warm skin and left soft pecks on the blue marks. My chest was rising up and down quickly as I felt like I was in heaven. His lips traced above my ribs, on my chest, leaving healing kisses there, then he stood up and kissed my neck where once his hands were wrapped around when he almost sent me to the other world. Since then, he just couldn't stop apologizing for that move, saying it wasn't him and he would never hurt me. I forgave him because I truly deserved that and because he made me stronger, he made me keep going instead of my family. He was my family. They were my family.
“I’m jealous of Seonghwa because he got to see you like this before I did.” He whispered onto my lips in a possessive way and cupped my face.
As he caressed my cheeks I looked up into his eyes and after five years I felt like I was at home, home that gave me safeness and warmth in this cruel and cold world. When his warm lips met mine, it felt as if the world healed around us. The darkness faded away, and the sun emerged once more, casting warmth over a world that had been cold for five years.
The last time I felt this warm was when Hongjoong held me in his arms when I was on the verge of dying. That was the last time I felt the sun come out between the dark mist. He was my sun that we couldn't feel anymore.
His lips gave me warmth as they moved against mine, I wrapped my hands around his neck as he turned me around to lift me at the table. I wrapped my legs around his torso as he was holding me by my waist, squeezing it, making me let out a quiet moan as his hands squeezed a black mark on my stomach. My hands traveled down his chest and then to his back where I felt the snake as it almost circled my wrist. I felt his wound that I traced with my finger and he let out a hiss on that and sucked my lower lip between his teeth, making it almost bleed as I hissed at that too. He captured my lips in a deep possessive kiss, that made me part my lips and let his tongue dive into my mouth. Our tongues met with each other and danced along to our heartbeats as I let out a moan. I bit his lower lip as we fought for a little dominance, he let out a low groan at that, kissing me deeply like he was obsessed with me and could never get enough of me. I felt the same because I wanted to be with him in this dark and cruel world, to be his reason to keep going now that his family was just a memory. I wanted to be his reason to survive.
 And he was mine.   
When our eyes met again, his gaze was filled with desire and emotions that mirrored my own. Emotions that connected us, that made us feel like we belonged to each other in this cruel world, so we could fight together against the bad. That came in the form of a dark mist that always whispered you promises, promises that said it's going to be better if you die. But dying isn't the solution. Survival was the only solution here and it did not matter how long you needed to survive, you had to because there were people who counted on you, people who were the reason to survive.
Survival wasn’t about the world anymore. It was about the people you encountered along the way, those who became your family amidst the dark mist that whispered of unachievable desires. But if you fight for it, you can achieve anything. I was determined to stand with Hongjoong and the others, so we could save the world one day.
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(Ateez masterlist)
Yunho's part-> Demons of The Darkened Mist
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dovveri · 4 months
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you can kiss a hundred boys in bars
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synopsis: good luck, babe! - inspired fic (essentially sana left 6 years ago and you still can't stop thinking about her even though you're married to another man)
warnings: cheating, internalised homophobia, not chronological, implied sex, cursing
w/c: 6.4k
a/n: hi 😀 this one may not hit as many of the audiences but it was interesting to write. i zon't think i like it toooo much for how much time i spent on it (edit: the moots have made my day i do like this one a lot actually) but just one of those things i needed to get out before i was able to move on to the next thing :P weeeEEEEHHEEEE i love angst!!!!!!!
ok this one's going to be a bit different guys pls READ THIS or you'll be like what the fuck. purple text is the present. ty enjoy, that was it LOL.
▂▂⌇
you wake up with a migraine. it came not long after you married frank and it’s stayed ever since. you sit up on the bed, careful not to make too much movement or sound to wake your husband next to you. although that was pretty unlikely anyway considering how he slept.
you sigh lightly, holding your head in your hands trying to mitigate the damage.
your head starts drifting off, as it did on most nights these days. it seemed the only thing that ever worked to stop the pounding in your head was thinking about her.
▂▂⌇
funnily enough, sana was actually the reason you and frank had met.
it had happened when the both of you were at a bar after class celebrating the end of exams. sana being sana had made a whole group of friends 10 minutes upon entering the establishment. you were sitting back watching her challenge someone to down the most shots in one minute. you would have stopped her on another day but after the hell week she's been through with her finals, you figured she deserved it. and you'd be there to take her home afterwards anyway.
she's whooping and jumping around, turning back to you with a grin when she wins. the poor loser skulking away back to his friends.
frank goes up to her then. introducing himself with that kind voice of his, just making sure she had someone to go home with and look after her.
and sana adored the attention. she's flirting with that charm of hers that no one could resist. but strangely enough, frank resisted. he was a gentleman, not wanting to pursue anything while sana was intoxicated, instead, he asked who could look after her, and sana points to you.
▂▂⌇
you're not getting back to sleep. instead you silently step out of bed, grabbing your phone and the hidden pack of cigarettes you kept in the second drawer of your bedside cupboard.
you step outside onto the balcony, breathing in the cool night air, shivering a little as you wrap the blanket you left on the balcony chair around you.
you click the lighter on, the small flame illuminating the darkness of the night, the only other light source aside from the moon. you're thinking if sana's somewhere she can see the moon right now while you put the lighter to the end of your cigarette. is it night for her? was she asleep? did she ever think about you?
you bring the stick to your mouth, inhaling, feeling the roughness of the nicotine hit your lungs, and exhaling softly, watching the wisps of smoke dissolve into the night sky.
sana hated when you smoked. frank didn't like it too much either, but he was never able to stop you.
▂▂⌇
"do you have to do that here?" sana's frowning when you release a puff of smoke into the air.
"sorry. stressed." you mumble in response, cig still stuck between your lips.
"you know i can help with that. just not when you taste like an ashtray." sana's still staring at the cancer stick you're sucking on with contempt, she never hated anything but if you had to place your money on something it'd be your bad habit.
you're smiling sheepishly, taking the cigarette out of your mouth and smooshing the end until it's not burning anymore.
the frown on her face is gone immediately, she's charmed you listen to her so easily. and she sticks to her word, stepping closer and leaning in.
your lips meet lazily, she's got a hand on your cheek, the other at your waist. you're wrapping your arms around her hips, holding her against you as your lips slot against each other.
sana was an attractive woman. there was no doubt about that. the two of you had met during high school. she had caught you sneaking off for a smoke during P.E. and had somehow convinced you to go and get your nails done with her instead. ever since then you two had been inseperable.
it was after you broke up with your first boyfriend in college that you started sleeping together. you remember he had decided to call it off because he was going all mormon and was ashamed of having had sex already, calling you a 'sex-addicted whore who was sent by the devil to tempt him into the flames of hell'. sana despised that he made you feel unwanted, and even more that he blamed you for the break up. she needed you to know just how valued you were, just how wanted you were, and in her drunk dazed mind that meant worshipping you until you came crying under her. and in your drunk dazed, heartbroken, self-pitying mind, you let her.
when it happened again, and again, and again, and then not under any alcoholic influence, the both of you decided to continue seeking each other out for sexual relief whenever you were stressed, or in any sort of mood that called for sex. you stopped every time one of you started a new relationship, but you always found your way back into each other's arms eventually.
▂▂⌇
you curse lightly when you reach the end of your cigarette.
picking out another one, you’re repeating your actions, lighting it up, bringing it between your lips, inhaling, feeling it fill your lungs, and then pushing it back out.
there hasn’t been a single day that’s gone by where you hadn’t thought about sana. frank didn’t get it at first. he asked you why you couldn’t just call her, you two were the best of friends, surely it wouldn’t be that difficult to reconnect?
he didn’t know you slept with sana on the night of you and frank’s wedding. doesn’t know the countless times you’ve slept with her before that. doesn’t know sana woke up earlier than you the next day, disappearing into the early morning, no note, no text, nothing. you were too ashamed to try and contact her for weeks after that, it wasn’t until you came back from your honeymoon that you realised you were knocking on an empty door when you tried to find her at her apartment. it was cleaned out, no furniture, no remnants of her, nothing to prove she even existed. you had called her over and over, tears of desperation spilling over, holding back choked sobs that only grew stronger with each voicemail message.
it wasn't until sana's old landlord holding a 'for lease' sign in his hand comes and kicks you out that you finally realise you'd lost her.
after that, your relationship with frank started to deteriorate. what did you expect though? was it sana's fault? if sana hadn't left would you have lived happily ever after, the three of you together?
it took a long time to realise the answer to that was no. you spent years blaming sana for leaving, and when you finally came to the terms that you were the one who drove her away, it was too much to bear.
▂▂⌇
"y/n!"
you smile at the sound of sana calling you in the corridor, turning to meet her hug as she crashes into you.
she starts talking your ear off and you nod along enthusiastically, but suddenly she stops, looks down to your hand, intertwined with someone else's.
"oh. who's this y/n?"
you look over at your newest boyfriend in surprise, almost forgetting he was holding your hand and standing next to you. you tended to forget a lot of things when sana was around.
"oh this is danny. we met at that bar i told you about last week remember?"
"hmm..." she's looking up at him in scrutiny, eyes squinted and eyebrows furrowed. you can feel danny's palms start to sweat under her gaze.
"one week huh? not bad, let's see how long you last, if you go longer than a month then i'll introduce myself to you." sana says then.
"sana!" you're hitting her lightly, flabbergasted at her insinuation.
"what? your last one was like 3 days. you just keep breaking these guys' hearts y/n." she places a hand over her heart dramatically.
danny's tightening his grip around your hand, speaking up, "excuse me, i don’t appreciate you wishing doom on our relationship even before its started. and i wouldn’t want to be introduced to a slut who’s never had a real relationship before anyway.”
sana’s speechless for a second but her face morphs into a scowl quickly after, “okay danny,” spitting out his name, “first rule of being a decent boyfriend? don’t talk shit about your girlfriend’s best friends. let’s see you last another hour after that comment.” she turns to you, raising an eyebrow, “you gonna let him off with that y/n?”
you’re stuck, and danny’s looking at you expectantly.
“sana… that comment was a little uncalled for y’know… you did kinda start this…”
danny’s smirking, looking smugly back towards sana.
“what?! are you serious right now y/n? y’know what? i don’t care. your life and whatever. see you later.” she’s stomping off, your heart sinking as you watch her.
“c’mon babe, forget her. let’s go get sushi.” danny doesn’t wait for a response before he’s pulling you in the other direction.
▂▂⌇
when you wake up again the next day, frank’s gone.
you stumble to your feet, clumsily making your way to the bathroom.
it’s almost late afternoon already. you’re lucky you didn’t have work today.
sana always used to scold you if you woke up past noon. she said you'd waste the whole day sleeping when you could have been spending it with her.
these days the second option wasn't exactly viable.
you cringe a little when you catch sight of yourself in the mirror. unkempt hair, dark circles under your eyes, visible signs of ageing. you'd bet sana still looked as radiant as she was all those years ago.
your phone starts buzzing when you turn on your electric toothbrush. it couldn't be anyone else other than frank. you didn't really talk to anyone else anyway. after sana left, you became a social recluse, and a lot of your friends were technically sana's friends so without that mutual connection anymore, you drifted from them very quickly.
“hello?”
“hey y/n, is my white button-up back from the dry cleaners yet? i need it tonight for this work event.”
“… no you didn’t tell me to pick anything up.”
“what? i left a note for you on the fridge did you not see it?”
“i just woke up frank.”
“it’s 2pm.”
“yeah.”
you can hear him sigh over the phone, “alright it’s fine i’ll pick it up after work.” he hangs up abruptly after he says that.
no goodbye, no i love you, he doesn’t call you by any pet names anymore either, just y/n. well it’s not like you did any of those things for him so you suppose it’s fair. he did do a lot of those things when you were dating and early in your marriage but eventually, when you stopped responding and got more and more tired of being with him, he stopped trying as well. you can’t even remember the last time you were intimate together.
frank had suggested the both of you try out marriage counselling but you were strongly against the idea. you didn’t feel particularly excited about disclosing everything that went on with sana with frank let alone with a complete stranger. you remember that week you fought about it and you ran away and didn’t come back until a month later. frank only tried to call you once during that time.
▂▂⌇
you were standing in front of an apartment door in japan.
you weren’t really thinking when you stood at the front desk of the airport, demanding a ticket for the next flight to osaka with only a small backpack and some essentials you were able to grab after your fight with frank.
it wasn’t until you were physically in the plane that you realised you didn’t actually know anyone but sana there. and you had made that unconscious decision because being with frank was simply too�� nothing, and being with sana was… everything. it had been over 6 years since you had seen her last, when she left you that quiet night in may.
though it seems fate was on your side this time. sana’s cousin just happened to be working at the airport the night you arrived, when she recognised you, she was waving excitedly, ushering you over.
“y/n right? oh my goodness i haven’t seen you in so long! not since that time sana brought you here 7 years ago right?” her accent is a little thick but you’re grateful she can speak korean regardless, you could only understand very basic japanese picked up from sana.
you’re nervously rubbing the back of your neck, “ahaha yeah… do you actually happen to have sana’s address?”
she frowns a little, “she didn’t give it to you when she found out you were coming?”
it seems like sana hasn’t told many people about your relationship with her either.
“u-um ahaha no she must have forgotten. you know how she gets… too excited she forgets the important little details.”
the cousin laughs a little in response, agreeing and quickly typing in sana’s address on your phone. internally you’re thanking all the gods and deities you know of for this stroke of luck or you’d really be stranded in osaka with no knowledge of the language and nowhere to stay.
“i have to get back to work but say hi to sana for me! we haven’t seen her much since she came back a few years ago, she’s been really busy with work i think.”
you nod, heart pounding at the tidbits of information you’re getting about sana. anything to fill in the 6 year gap you’ve been apart.
you wave goodbye, thanking her again and then you’re hailing down a taxi and showing the driver the destination on your phone.
so now you’re standing in front of her apartment door, hands sweaty and nervous, just praying she wouldn’t kick you out or worse.
you’ve been standing here stupidly, deliberating when, how, if you should even knock. when there’s a slight commotion to your left, the sound of a bag of groceries dropping and a light gasp.
“y/n?”
it’s very cinematic when you turn, sana coming into view for the first time in so long is like finding water in a desert. you’re drinking her in hungrily, her darker hair, smile lines, perfect nose, she looks just as beautiful as you remember.
“sana…” you’re voice is hoarse with emotion.
she’s taking slow steps towards you after picking up her groceries. one… two…
“what are you doing here?”
“i-i- u-um i-“
“how did you get my address?”
“u-um i saw y-your cousin at the airport and she recognised me and i- i may have asked her for your address... i'm sorry! i would have called or like let you know but... y'know... i-i couldn't really do that..."
she considers you for a little bit, looking you up and down, her face stoic.
"...did you come here for something then?"
"i- um- well not really it was k-kinda an impulse decision. u-um frank and i fought and i just- i don't know i went to the airport and i found myself here i guess..."
you notice how her hand tightens at the mention of frank's name, the slight sound of the crinkling of her grocery bag.
"and what did you want me to do about that?" she's pushing past you now, taking out her keys and starting to unlock her door. you begin to panic, scrambling for words.
"i- sana please! i- i'm sorry! i'm sorry okay?"
the jingling of her keys stops, but she doesn't look back at you.
"what are you sorry for? i'm the one who left remember?" her voice is bitter and a little shaky, you realise she's not facing you because she's trying not to cry. you ache to hold her.
"i… i’m the reason you left though. right? it took me a long time to realise but i’m sorry i wasn’t able to be true to myself and i’m sorry you were a casualty to that. i missed you sana…." your voice is quiet, you feel your own tears welling up in your eyes.
“… what weren’t you true to yourself about?”
you take a big inhale, breath shaky when you let it back out. “that i love you.” your voice is tiny, you just confessed your love for the woman you’ve spent most of your life with, the woman that’s occupied your mind every second of every minute since she’s entered your life. the woman you were too scared to admit you loved, who waited for you to do exactly that only for you to enter a loveless marriage with someone else. you can only imagine the pain you’ve put her through. it would be nothing compared to the last 6 years without her. and the last 6 years without sana were undoubtedly the worst of your life.
sana’s sniffling now, unable to hold back her cries.
you inch forward and tentatively place a hand on her shoulder. when she doesn’t move it, you shift closer again to wrap your arms around her loosely.
suddenly sana’s turning and burrowing her face in your neck, you feel her wet tears stain your skin, but also your own start to run down your face. you're surrounded with sana sana sana, her smell, her sounds, the feel of her against you when you tighten your arms around her. you missed this so fucking much. you missed her. and for the first time in 6 years, you finally felt like you were home again.
▂▂⌇
after you've finished your morning routine, you lazily trudge into the kitchen, discarding the small note frank had told you about, and pouring yourself a bowl of cereal.
you sigh into the empty house. frank wanted kids of course, that's why you bought such a large house in the first place. he had dreamt of the whole white-picket fence family and you were excited to share that with him and sana. she had helped you design the place, decorate it when you first moved in, she was meant to move across the street and you were going to grow old together and watch as your kids played around and became the best of friends, just like the two of you were.
now though? you hated this house. it just felt so much more empty. you and frank had tried for kids, although that only really drove you further apart. sex just became more of a chore than something you enjoyed, and when people know you're trying to get pregnant? suddenly everyone has their 2 cents on what you should eat, what types of exercise you should do, the latest superfood that was meant to make you more fertile. everyone seemed to have more control over your own relationship, over your own body than you did.
eventually, the small amounts of love you and frank had for each other, fizzled out. and you decided you didn't want to raise a child in a loveless marriage, that wouldn't be fair to them. frank, even with his endless optimism and kind soul, agreed.
▂▂⌇
that night in japan, for the first time in six years since you saw sana, you were able to kiss her again, to feel her bare skin against yours, to taste her as she writhed and cried out your name above you.
you woke up before her the next day, sun sluggishly making its way past the horizon. you watched as her breaths came in and out, soft, her expression at peace, not clouded with anger or sadness at you. you traced the lines of her face, recollecting every single hair, every mole, every perfection and imperfection on her, so she'd always be with you in your memory.
she stirred after a while, blinking softly and you wait for her to come to, fingers tracing soft lines over her side.
you feel her freeze under you, breathing picking up, just barely noticeable but you were sharing the same airspace. her eyes meet yours for the first time that morning and you're committing the brown irises to memory now as well.
"you didn't leave." her voice is laced with morning fatigue.
you only hum in response, continuing to trace random shapes into her skin.
"why?"
you take a moment to think about your answer. years ago, you would've been terrified with the idea that someone would've found out about the two of you. that someone would know your dirty little secret. and that secret was that you were in love with your best friend. it was different for sana. sana was flamboyant, and proud, and happy. it wouldn't matter who sana liked because that didn't take away from her personality. she was still valuable as a person. you weren't like that though. you were always just sana's best friend or danny's girlfriend or frank's girlfriend or whoever else you dated at the time. the moment you deviated from that, a new label would be stuck on you, and people would pity sana, talk about how she could do so much better, how you were a witch who lured sana in. so you were selfish. you took from sana, and you never gave back. because sana was perfect in your mind, and she didn't need anything else.
"i'm sorry. there's a lot to be sorry for and a lot i need to make up to you. but at the core of it all, i love you sana. these six years without you have been hell. and i'm sorry it took that long for me to realise this, but i love you, not frank, not anyone else, just you."
you feel your eyes begin to tear up, heavy with emotions, sana's mirroring you, her bottom lip slightly quivering.
"what happened with frank?" her voice is a little shaky.
"we fought. i didn't want to deal with him anymore, my feet took me to the airport, and i ended up here."
sana sighs then, turning away from you and lying on her back. "so you're still together?"
"well... i- no but-"
"how is this time any different then y/n?"
"i- i- it's over, me and him. seeing you again has affirmed that for me. there hasn't been love between frank and i for a long time. i never loved him the way i love you. i'm ending things as soon as i get back. i promise sana. please- please believe me." you're scrambling a little, you couldn't afford to lose sana again. not after you had just gotten her back.
you can see tears running down the side of her face. you hate yourself for making her cry. that seems to be all you ever made her do.
"okay."
"okay?"
she turns to you again, wiping at her eyes, "okay. i really shouldn't but i love you too much and i've missed you too much to say no."
"really?" your perking up, disbelief clear.
"you keep asking me that and i'll change my mind." she teases, smiling for the first time.
you're overjoyed. rolling onto her and sweeping her up in a kiss, hoping your actions convey your feelings for her better than your words do. she's laughing into you and god have you missed that sound. you attack her sides immediately, almost desperate to hear it again, to make her feel something other than the sadness you've caused her. you make a promise to yourself in that moment, that you'd never, never make sana cry again.
it took you only a month to break that promise.
▂▂⌇
"hi, frank's wife right?"
you resist the very strong urge to roll your eyes, instead nodding politely and listening as the woman who approached you launches into a conversation about her husband and how he and frank got along at work and really you couldn't care less.
you were at the work event frank had mentioned in the morning. he did end up picking up his own dry cleaning and you saw him briefly at the event when you first showed up, only saying a quick hello and kissing your cheek before he was off again mingling and entertaining guests.
you had intended on just sticking to the bar and making use of the free-flow alcohol but now this woman was talking to you about her kids, and whatever else and you really just want to throw your drink in her face and yell at her about how to read a room.
you spot frank in the corner of your eye, surrounded by a group of women. you knew he had slept with other people ever since you stopped accepting his advances and affection. you're honestly surprised he hasn't asked for a divorce yet.
but frank was kinder than you. you were still his friend before you were his wife. he still cared about you and didn't want you to be left alone. you couldn't seem to convince him you were fine alone. you learnt to be fine when sana left. although lately, even he seemed to see you less as a friend and more and more, just as his wife.
▂▂⌇
"i still can't believe that time you thought danny was a good choice for you. and you defended him too!" sana was laughing, slapping your arm playfully.
you whine in response, "i told you i was sorry for that alright!!"
she's still laughing when frank comes back to the two of you, looking at you inquisitively and gesturing vaguely towards sana. you shrug, helping him set the food he had ordered for the three of you on the table.
"what's funny sana?" he asks, sliding into the booth with you and picking up a burger.
sana's waving a chip around now, pointing at you, "just talking about y/n's shitty taste in men."
frank fakes shock, looking at you with an exaggerated look of hurt, "me?"
you laugh, hitting him lightly, "not you dummy."
"yeah you're one of the good ones franky. probably the only good one out there."
"aww thanks sana."
sana grins, digging into her food.
you smile at the two of them. your two favourite people in the world. when you first met frank, you were skeptical of him. you were sure he was only trying to be friends with you to get with sana. so imagine your surprise when he had actually been plotting with sana behind your back to ask you out. you had said yes of course, he was a sweet guy, attractive too, and most importantly, sana liked him.
you ended up hitting it off, and the three of you were almost inseparable after that.
it wasn't until about 7 months into your relationship that sana started distancing herself. she would say she was busy, turn down more offers to go out, start hanging around a new group of people.
you heard from frank later that they had some sort of disagreement, which was why sana had started avoiding you. you were hurt by this though, because sana was still your friend. she was yours before you were frank's, and even when you were frank's you were still hers. didn't she know that? she had to.
you intended for her to know that when you cornered her, a late afternoon on a friday when the three of you used to go out for ice-cream as a reward for the week's end, but she had been staying behind to study or always had something else on instead.
"why are you avoiding me?"
sana's eyes are everywhere, her movements skittish as she tries to look for an escape before giving up and huffing. "i don't know what you're talking about."
"yes you do."
"no i don't."
"stop this sana. frank told me the two of you fought. if you don't want to be around him fine. that's your choice. but that doesn't mean you get to avoid me too."
she looks at you then, eyes fiery, "is that what he told you?"
you nod, "i don't understand sana. i don't care that you fought. i can seperate us and my relationship with frank. you're still my best friend."
"we fought because he told me he felt like i was stealing you from him."
"what?"
"yeah. he said he never got to spend any time with you. i was always there. he felt like he was the one who was third-wheeling our relationship."
the words third-wheel and our relationship swim around in your mind, "w-what? that's impossible!"
"is it really though y/n?" sana's voice is soft now.
"what do you mean?"
"i mean, is it really impossible for you to see us that way? frank obviously did, and he felt threatened by that."
"w-what- sana what are you talking about?"
she sighs a little in frustration, and then suddenly she's yanking you forward by the collar and planting her lips against yours. you react automatically, kissing her back, hands immediately going to her waist as you revel in the feeling of her soft lips against yours. it was always so different kissing sana compared to all the other guys you've been with. you chalked it up to the fact that sana took care of her skin, her lips, the way she smelled, all of that made kissing her that much sweeter.
but then you remember frank and you're pulling away, breaths heavier than they were mere seconds ago. "what the fuck sana?!" you're whipping your head around, looking to see if anyone had seen the two of you. it seemed to be clear.
sana's chuckling lowly, wiping at her lips, face downcast.
"what were you thinking?! i'm with frank! you set me up with frank!"
her eyes meet yours again, and you're taken back by the glassy look on her face. she's whispering, "i know. i know and i hate myself for it. i thought- i thought if- i thought i could get over this if i saw you happy with someone else. and then you were! and i just felt worse y/n. and then frank could tell and that was the last straw i guess. i needed to be away, away from you so i could get make these stupid feelings go away. i'm sorry y/n i'm so so sorry."
you're dumbfounded, staring at her blankly when she starts sobbing, hands coming to wipe at tears falling faster than she could catch them.
you don't understand what this means, what you felt, all you knew in that moment was sana was crying. the person you cared about most in the world was crying and you were the reason for it. so you do the one thing to make her stop. you tilt her chin up, heart breaking at the sniffles and the watery eyes, and you press your lips against hers again.
you end up where you've ended up so many times. legs entangled, sweaty bodies on sheets, heavy breathing, and minds lost.
▂▂⌇
you couldn't stand being inside anymore. it was suffocating.
you breathe out smoke as you exhale, the cigarette end still burning.
you watch as someone makes their way outside, shuffling around a little in their pockets and cursing when they realise they don't have a lighter.
the person looks towards you and you hold out yours. you help them light the end of their cigarette and nod when they mutter their thanks, inhaling the smoke into their lungs and standing awkwardly to the side.
it's a few minutes here in the cold, and you're almost finished your cigarette, about to throw it away when the stranger speaks up.
"do i know you from somewhere?"
you pause, looking back, you don't think you recognise this person. "you must have me confused for someone else, i'm sorry."
"wait... no you're sana's best friend right!?"
you drop the cigarette in your hand in shock. it had been a long time since someone had said that name out loud. she only ever lived in your head, it was hard to believe she was someone to other people too.
"right yes of course i remember now! i'm momo i was sana's roommate in college. although you probably don't remember i think we only really met like once. sana was always with you around campus and posted you a lot though so i remember you."
you vaguely recall the woman as she chatters away excitedly.
"right... momo... it's nice to meet you. i'm y/n."
momo grins, "have you spoken to sana lately? i don't think i saw you at the wedding, although i may have just been drunk." she chuckles a little at herself, not realising the way your face drops.
"wedding?"
momo looks at you a little in confusion, "yeah. last month? sana got married in sapporo."
your head is spinning with the new information. sana was married?
“woah you feeling okay?” momo’s reaching out for your shoulder, steadying you. you didn’t even realise you had lost your balance.
“i-i- yeah sorry.”
“you sure? are you here with anyone? anyone i can call?”
“no. it’s okay, thank you though.”
“yeah no problem.”
she’s shuffling back again, sucking on her cigarette.
“sana and i haven’t spoken in years. i was just a little surprised is all.” you speak up when you feel a little steadier on your feet.
“oh shit! i’m so sorry y/n i had no idea!”
“it’s okay, it seems no one really does.” you laugh a little bitterly.
momo doesn’t know how to respond to this, flicking her eyes between you and the door.
“it’s fine though. i’m happy for her.” the words taste vile on your tongue. is this what sana felt when she watched you walk down the aisle on your wedding day?
momo softens a little, “she is happy.” she offers you a kind smile, tapping out her cigarette and mumbling a quick thanks before heading back inside.
once you're sure she's gone you let yourself break down. sobs wrack your body as you hold your hands over your mouth trying to quiet them. you can barely see through the tears streaming out of your eyes. this was it. you'd finally lost her. you couldn't cling to the delusion that somewhere out there, some of her still belonged to you, some of her happiness, her memories, her love. you'd lost all of that now.
▂▂⌇
"what was that y/n?"
"what?"
"don't fuck with me right now. that was frank wasn't it? on the phone just then?"
you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, "what do you want me to say sana?"
"that you're keeping your promise. that you're going to return to him, break up with him, and then you're going to come back here to me. and then we can finally start our lives together."
"it's not that easy sana."
she explodes, "what do you mean?! it is that easy y/n! you told me when you came here that you and frank were over. have been for years. and now you can't tell me that same thing?"
"i don't- no sana-"
"what? what y/n? what’s your excuse now? do you have to make sure your job is secure? after you've spent a whole fucking month here you expect me to think you still care about that? do you have a child with him? is that it? is he sick? what other possible excuse is there for 'it's not that easy sana'?!"
"you don't get it! you can't say that to me sana!"
"what?! what don't i get?! tell me y/n, let's sort this shit out right fucking now. tell me why you can't be with me."
"it's not- that's just the way i am sana! i can't-"
"you told me you loved me. was that a lie then?" her eyes are brimming with tears, anger evident and your heart breaks again. you promised, you promised her and you promised yourself that this wouldn't happen again.
you're quick to step in again, trying to stop her from crying the one way you know how, brushing her cheeks with your thumbs and kissing her.
she doesn't let you get away with it this time though. she rips away from you, placing a hand on your chest and pushing you back lightly, keeping you literally at arm's length.
"don't do that." she's chuckling, her laughs mixed in with quiet sobs, "don't think you can just kiss away your problems. that's not how real life works y/n."
"please sana, please just-"
"what? you want me to be okay being your secret again? you want to be able to go around in public with frank only to come home to me? you can't have both y/n! i'm not going to do that again for you!"
you’re both crying now, standing across from each other in sana’s apartment, a place that’s felt more like home to you in a month than your place with frank has felt for you in six years.
your voice comes out in a hoarse whisper when you speak up, “i can’t- i can’t feel like this sana.”
sana’s wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. then she’s turning on her heel and heading into the bedroom.
you follow her, you’d follow her anywhere, but your heart sinks when you realise she’s going around the room picking up your belongings and shoving them into your bag.
“w-wait s-sana, what- what are you doing? stop please-“
you’re almost begging, scrambling after her trying to pull her back but she’s stubborn, she’s able to fill the bag within a minute and then she’s pushing it into you, and out the door.
“please! sana please i can’t lose you again don’t do this please- you’re my best friend sana.”
she’s managed to successfully push you out the front door now, still crying. “but you’re not mine y/n. you were never my best friend. you were always the love of my life. and you can’t be that for me anymore. so leave. please. don’t try and find me again.”
“n-no sana please d-don’t-“
“you’d have to stop the world just to stop what you feel for me y/n. but you don’t realise that. and i’m sick of loving someone who can’t give me all of that love back.”
and then she’s slamming her door shut in your face, the both of you sobbing on opposite sides of the door, hearts shattered a second time, and later, when it happens a third time, it’s only the sound of yours breaking.
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