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#// i know it's silly but it makes me happy for there to be understanding
hyunebunx · 1 day
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Wow I’m stupid I pressed send way too fast 🩵 with Lee Know??
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˖˙ ᰋ ── 🩵 - kissing in the rain with Minho
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﹙ʚɞ˚﹚. genre: a teeny tiny amount of angst but it has a happy ending
﹙ʚɞ˚﹚. a/n: thank you sm for requesting!!! <3 i had soo many ways of writing this in my head that i struggled lol. i really hope you like what i came up with. it's loosely (very) based on the rain scene in pride and prejudice so enjoy!! <33
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Arguments were not a usual occurrence in your relationship. Most of the time you managed to settle any disagreement before it could escalate to such heights, the perfectly communicating couple all of your friends couldn’t help but feel a little envious of.
Now was not one of those times; your stress and emotions were getting the best of both you and Minho in the most unpleasant way. You hated arguing with him, getting angry and unable to see the other’s point of view, clouded by the desire to be right and make each other understand where you were coming from.
“You don’t get it.” Minho shakes his head with a sigh, forearms resting on the wheel as the rain poured outside your safe haven, hitting the windshield at an alarming pace and preventing you from seeing anything, even with the headlights on.
“Explain it to me, then!” You bite back, body facing his in the heated passenger seat that was keeping you warm and cozy despite the chill outside. Even when arguing you could admit Minho was the most considerate person alive – you didn’t ask him to turn on the heat, he must have done it when he noticed you trembling like a leaf after getting in.
He surprised you after work, dropping by and driving directly to one of your favorite restaurants just in time for dinner and a well deserved date night. Everything was perfect, the location, the food, and especially the company, laughing and having a great time with the love of your life.
Until things turned sour on your drive home, and what started as a silly disagreement turned into a full-on argument about something you didn’t find significant enough even to remember.
“That’s what I’ve been doing for the past ten minutes but it seems you don’t want to listen!”
You’ve been walking (or driving) in circles, with him getting frustrated and you following right on his tail until the car came to a stop right in front of your apartment building.
It’s not like you didn’t want to listen or care to hear him out, it’s just that Minho seemed to make something out of nothing, insisting and pushing forth the same idea like you were nothing more than a child who lacked basic comprehension. It was frustrating and exhausting, especially after the long day you’ve had.
“Min, I’ve been listening.” You try to smooth things over, warm hand landing on his thigh comfortingly. “Just because I’m not giving you the answers you want doesn’t mean I’m not hearing you.”
Minho remains silent, head turned the other way to stare out the window and not acknowledge your presence. When the silence stretches on, you give up with a sigh and retract your hand, reaching for your purse in the backseat and opening the car door in the same breath.
“What are you – “ You close it right before he can finish the sentence, set on getting inside with or without him to finally take the bubble bath you’ve been daydreaming about all day at work.
“Kitten!” His voice follows a moment later, the sound of the car door slamming louder than him amongst the deafening rain. “Y/n!”
Despite yourself and the insanity of spending even one more minute in this storm, you stop and allow him to catch up, not protesting as his warm hands land on your shoulders and turn you around almost desperately.
“Where are you going? We are not done talking.” He states, dark hair and clothes getting soaked at an alarming pace as the rain spares neither of you.
“But I am!” You exhale, the chill settling into your bones. “We won’t reach an agreement like this so let’s just stop!”
His eyes widen as he pulls you closer, chest to chest, figures illuminated by the bright headlights almost blinding. “Baby, wait – “
“I hate fighting with you, Min.” Without meaning to, you interrupt him once again, reaching up to cup his face and drag him closer. “I’m sorry, okay? We can talk this over calmly inside after we cool down. Just not like this, please, I can’t do it anymore.”
He nods instantly, agreeing without a doubt and most likely seeing his faults too, and not only yours. Then, when you expect him to let go and finally follow you in, Minho surprises you the second time tonight by leaning over and connecting your lips in a kiss full of passion and love, reminding you once again that the heart in his chest beats first and foremost for you. His upper limbs cling to your body just like your clothes, hugging you tightly while your hands squeeze his face affectionately, a smile sneaking past and pulling one from him as well, on the verge of beaming into the kiss.
The rain seems to disappear, the cold too, like you weren’t bothered by either in the first place. Minho has that effect on you, helping you see the good in every situation. Sure, the location was not ideal – nothing could be less romantic than a barely lit parking lot – but as always, the company mattered more. And the message he was trying to send. When words failed you, actions worked better, speaking louder and getting your point across without much effort.
Sure, the argument wasn’t resolved but you both managed to make the other understand what mattered the most. You might be disagreeing now, momentarily stuck in a small pothole along the way, but you still loved each other, you would get over it and be okay in the end.
Because that’s what true love meant. Getting through things together and continuing to walk down your joined paths, hand in hand, no matter how many potholes or rough patches you encounter. A small setback won’t ever erase your feelings for each other, or make you forget all the beautiful moments you’ve shared.
And maybe, just maybe, a kiss was all you needed to finally understand Minho’s point when you sat down and resolved things that night. He, on the other hand, needed a few more to be satisfied.
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solarecliipse · 16 hours
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if i dare to say !
akaashi keiji x reader.
a/n: sooo my laptop got broke, and i had a hard time getting it repaired, which is why this one's coming like a week later than it was suppossed to, but here it is! in some days i'll have the kageyama x reader too, so keep your eyes open. make sure to take care of yourselfs and get enough sleep :)
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you can still remember the way he looked at you that day, eyes cold and distant, like a stranger wearing the face of someone you used to know. the words he said, the way he broke you apart, still echoes in your mind like a song stuck on repeat.
“it’s not working,” he had said, his voice devoid of the warmth that once embraced you. “we need to end this.”
you had asked him why, your voice trembling, but he only shook his head, refusing to give out any real answer. “it’s just better this way,” he had said. And then he walked away, leaving you standing there, with your soul shattered into a million pieces.
for weeks, you tried to understand what went wrong, replaying every moment in your head, searching for signs that you might have missed, but all you could find was more pain, more confusion, until you couldn’t take it anymore. you had to let go, even if you didn’t have all the answers.
months passed, and the wounds he left behind began to heal, slowly and painfully. you forced yourself to move on, to build a life that didn’t revolve around him. you surrounded yourself with friends, threw yourself into your work, and even began to rediscover the things that used to make you happy before he came into your life. it wasn’t easy, and there were days when the ache in your chest felt like it would never go away, but you kept pushing forward, determined to find yourself again, to be whole without him, even if it meant staying away from the things you shared.
and just when you thought you were finally getting there, he came back.
you were sitting at a café with a friend, yukie, laughing over some silly story she was telling you, when you saw him. he walked in as if he belonged there, as if he hadn’t ripped your heart out and left you to pick up the pieces alone. 
you froze, laughter dying in my throat. yukie noticed the change of demeanor and followed your gaze. “oh no,” she muttered.
 “what’s he doing here?” you ask in a hoarse voice.
“i don’t know”
he hadn’t seen you yet, and you had half a mind to slip out before he did, but it was too late. your eyes met across the room, and his face lit up with a smile that made your stomach churn.
he walked over, and you couldn’t help but notice that he looked just the same. same tousled hair, same easy smile, as if no time had passed, as if nothing had changed, but everything had changed. at least for you.
“hey,” he said, his voice annoyingly casual. “it’s been a while.”
“yeah,” you replied, your tone clipped. you wanted to say something more, something sharp and biting, but couldn’t find the words.
yukie glanced between you, clearly uncomfortable. “i’ll, uh, leave you two to talk,” she said, grabbing her purse and giving you a look that said, call me if you need an escape. you nodded, appreciating her unspoken offer, but stayed put. even if it hurt, you needed to hear what he had to say.
“so,” he began, once yukie was gone, “how have you been?”
you stared at him, incredulous. “how do you think i’ve been?” you asked, unable to keep the bitterness out of your voice.
he winced, as if the words had physically hurt him. “i know, i know. i messed up, okay? but I’ve been thinking about things, and i realized that i want us to be friends again.”
friends. the word hung in the air between you, heavy and unwelcome. you almost laughed at the absurdity of it. “you can’t be serious,” you spat, crossing your arms over your chest.
“i am,” he insisted, leaning forward as if that would make his words more convincing. “i miss you. i miss us.”
“us?” you echoed, shaking your head. “there is no ‘us’ anymore, remember? you made sure of that.”
he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “i know i screwed up, and i’m sorry for that, but I was going through a lot, and i didn’t know how to deal with it. breaking up was a mistake, i see that now.”
a mistake. that’s what he called it? a simple mistake, like forgetting to return a phone call or misplacing your keys. not the complete and utter devastation of someone’s trust and heart.
“well, it’s a little late for that, don’t you think?” you said, voice shaking. “you didn’t just hurt me, you broke me, and now you think we can just go back to being friends, like nothing happened?”
“i’m not saying we can go back to how things were,” he said quickly. “i just… i miss having you in my life. can’t we at least try?”
you looked at him, really looked at him, and for the first time, didn’t feel that old, familiar pull. the one that used to make you forgive him for everything, that made you overlook the things that hurt. instead, all you could feel was exhaustion, you were tired of fighting for something that was already dead.
“i don’t think we can,” you said quietly, finally admitting the truth to both of you. “too much has happened, and i’ve changed. i’m not the same person you left behind, and i don’t think you are either.”
he looked at you, his expression a mix of regret and something else you couldn’t quite place. “i understand,” he said after a long pause. “i guess i just hoped…”
“yeah,” you cut in, not wanting to hear whatever hope he had been holding on to. “well, we can’t always get what we want.”
he nodded, standing up slowly. “i’m really sorry,” he said, and for the first time, it was like he actually meant it. “for everything.”
you didn’t answer, instead looking away. what was there left to say? he lingered for a moment, as if waiting for you to change your mind, but when you didn’t, he finally walked away.
after he left, you sat there for a long time, staring at the empty seat across from you. and you should have felt relieved, maybe even proud of yourself for standing your ground, but all you could feel was a deep, aching sadness.
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hysokaz · 4 months
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i miss hisoka everyday of my miserable little life
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dootznbootz · 1 month
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This may sound silly but there's something just soft about friends sending silly memes or vids or whatever to me.
Like whether or not you're a pretty good conversationalist, there's something so soft about "hey, this made me think of you" or even a silly "...Hey, I wanna chatter again."
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benetnvsch · 2 years
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maybe you could draw kunikida with flowers in her hair if you wanted maybe sorry fjdjsh
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I am so perfectly normal about this idea (<-lies and deception)-
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mitamicah · 4 months
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confession time: After sleeping on it, I actually think I miss the Joker Out guys a bit more than I miss Jere and crew atm. That might be because it has been longer since I've watched them live comparred to Käärijä ...
... but because of this I'm actually tempted to do something very scandalous *gasp - I know; how nonkääryle of me* and only go for Hamburg tomorrow in hopes that Joker Out will get some Europe dates this fall as well :'D
(and if they don't then I hope the Käärijä shows in germany won't sell out too quickly :'D)
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#I miss looking into the bojan's intense wet brown puppy eyes and feel my stomach drop because of it#the adrenaline that wont leave my body for hours that make me giddy and silly because of a 25 year took notice of me#I miss witnessing janace's antics face to face#and jure walking around with or without bubbles sending us happy smiles durring novi val#I miss hearing bluza and sta bih ja#and I long to get my chance to hear astp live#I want to break down with other fans during sonce#I even miss the long ass umazane misli karaokes#I miss the chance of talking to the guys at shit o'clock in the night#and hell I already have three käärijä shows planned (almost) next month#so I will get my käärijä quota fulfilled#and it is not like I don't look forward to those concerts#but what I mostly look forward to in those are meeting up with you guys#I know I probably wont understand most what jere is saying#I will enjoy his antics#and häärijä and the daltons#the chance of hearing people's champion on stage again#maybe get paidaton riehuja again#enjoy my first outside concerts with him#see him be so humble and honest and just such an open and wonderful human being#but I probably wont meet him#the chance of getting a good spot is limited#the same connection that I got with JO in sweden is sparse#and I miss that#so as much as I am looking forward to backas and allas and ruisrock#I miss the intimate small concerts in places where he/they are less known#where the few of us meeting up are getting the time of our lives#but I also know that is not sustainable for him/them and that bigger crowds also have its unique experiences/advantages#I am pretty much just babbling#don't mind me
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boxwinebaddie · 4 months
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an uncle nina check in <3
hi team! thanks for sticking around! i know my blog isn't always the most exciting and enriching place in the world in terms of content, but i am very /content/ to have you all here. <3333
i promise, oddly enough, i have A TON of inspiration and ideas for all my weird styles ( if you're curious about anything please lmk! i've been trying to flesh out my aus out lately ), i've just been in a major bummer depression era lately, so it's hard for me to get my asks done and i'm having a hard time committing to finishing my writing. :<
i think it's because of stress and my bipolar, but i am trying to get back on the horse! ( are we all laughing at the idea of me trying to get on a horse? i'd start crying help city girl fail moment for me ) yeehaw!
and while, unfortunately due to the instability ( fabulous legendary iconery ) of my pretty girl popstar personality, i do not know whether i will be answering almost no questions or one million, regardless of that, i just wanted to let you know, i'm still here, still kicking my feet, twirling my hair, cooking...i'm just really trying not to force myself to put out anything i don't like...and only do what makes me truly happy.
however, nothing, my dear sweet e-darlings...
makes me happier than coming home to all of you. <333
so thank you for flooding even the darkest corners of my life with bright light, supporting my phantom fics and being wonderful,
uncle nina xx
#nina speaks#hi my loves#idk what the point of this was#i just know my blog is really inconsistent and i know i dont really post anything or anything that useful#but i wanted you to know that i love you very much and i still care a lot about all of you and all my content actually#which i have been fleshing out in notebooks and google docs i've been doing lots of world building and character study#so feel free to ask me something challenging about any part of my nina sp auniverse that interests u itll make my brain work#i've also been taking very silly but dilligent notes abt what ravesey style looks like for ter so if u want to laff at those u can#i just love taking notes on detail and understanding exactly what characters look like or what settings appear like idk#might be some experimental writing on here i like doing different mediums like i was being silly#and started writing a netflix trailer for rm haha i also have been doing weird personality tests and questionnaires#i've been trying to think very deeply about tkak and my tfbw styles if u have any questions there and am deep plotting rm#trying to be impactful while also keeping things fun and learning to enjoy myself again i suppose#so again thakn u for being here sorry its weird on here but thank u for supporting me as i learn and grow my sunshines#also ik i have a ton of asks and uve already asked me so many things so never feel inclined to message me#but i love hearing what ur curious about hopefully i can answer some stuff eventually but again im on a break#i'm here but i'm not this is a safe place we try and fail we have fun and promote style world domination thru my weird styles#ilysm i'm shutting up now i promise i'm still here i'm just trying to be healthy and happy esp rn when i am not emotionally well#gotta protect my peace and my vibe palace but im still here!#MWAH MWAH MWAAAAAH#really trying to heal my inner child or like the girl in me that liked to write silly stories and create crazy things#weird hcs big dramatic plots silly stuff...i want to honor that girl because she was happy and free and had fun#and i want to do that again so lets have fun guys#no judgement no seriousness just good vibes and good reads#welcome to the uncle nina learns to laugh again arc#i hope you enjoy it
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theflyingfeeling · 1 year
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I don’t know if I’m just imagining things but I feel like Olli and Aleksi are actually so close 🥺 for example I feel like they post so many pics together and I know they post with others too and it’s not a big deal but e.g. Olli has posted 5 pics with someone else this year and 3 of them are with Aleksi.. so it must mean something right?? 🥺 and I feel like they spend a lot of time together yk even ”outside the band” when they’re having a day off and they still do music (the remix) etc. together 😭
Yeah I mean I for one am so deep in the Olli/Allu delulu land that it's VERY easy for me to agree and confirm all of this 😭 they're boyfriends secret lovers special friends and it shows 🥺
Here are all the pictures of the two of them I could find on Olli's IG, for reference 💞
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+ the group picture Olli posted when Aleksi first joined the band, with the caption 'so now there's six of us' 🥺
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#i left out the one where he's pushing aleksi's and niko's heads in the water 😳#and one from balboa bts with tommi in the background#ngl the anon ask i got yesterday has given me MASSIVE headworms of 2 young guys having thought they had their life all figured out already#and then one day they realise they've fallen for their friend and bandmate 😭#friends to lovers but with troubles in between my most beloved trope in the world 💞💖💗💓💕💖💞#with truckloads of (mutual) pining and just general confusion about what they should do about their stupid (mutual) feelings#(i'd love to read/write something of this sort but i'm too anxious about everyone being all#'boohoo they'd never cheat also you're disrespecting their gfs'#like............first of all it's fiction second of all IT'S FUCKING FICTION third of all i ain't gonna tell 'em lol#obviously i wouldn’t include their actual gfs and OBVIOUSLY i wouldn’t show the fic to anyone who's in it??#i just don't understand how someone could be offended about something they don't know about lol#and OBBVVVIOUSSSLLYYYY i wouldn’t write either of the guys as somehow happy or confident about cheating like come on#there'd be SO MUCH guilt and shame and angst and they’d still love their gfs so much#but then there's also this guy who's their friend and whose stinky socks made them barf once on the tourbus#and who means the world to them. they didn’t mean for it to happen. it just did 😭#anyway sorry for rambling i swear i don't mean to make everything about my silly fic ideas#i just can't help myself and i need a way to let it all out somehow without bothering anyone in particular 😭😭😭)#ollixallu#anon asks#answered asks
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ectonurites · 8 months
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SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR. KEVIN PHILLIPS
#super dark times#zach taylor#allison bannister#sam edits#if you listen closely you can hear the sound of both mine and Allison's hearts breaking! <3#ok but fr: i know this is gifs. so no sound. but the WAY he DELIVERS the 'you've got a bump on your head' line makes me NUTS#it's so soft. it's so fond. it's... it's a punch in the fucking gut. he likes her *so much* but he *can't let himself have this nice#thing with her* because he's *being eaten alive by guilt he can't accept & won't let himself be happy because of it* and SHE DOESN'T KNOW!#like the thing. the thing is. when you watch SDT you're along the ride with Zach and his POV of everything. despite the obvious paranoia#& guilt warping his perspective/influencing his behavior—we can see where that's all coming from. we understand the motivations#behind the actions he takes. but ALLISON? Allison has no fucking clue what's going on! from Allison's perspective... Zach is this guy she's#known for a while (like they make a point of *telling us* in one of the earliest scenes that Zach feels weird talking about her in the#detached way they may talk abt other people in their grade they barely know—because it's *different* since he and Josh *actually know her*#plus in the script [and it STILL COUNTS TO ME because she *starts* saying the line but just gets cut off by Dennis] Allison brings#up Zach & Josh having had a silly handshake since 7th grade ['oh god that used to make me pee!' <- girl why would u say that to him]#so it's like... these are kids who've known each other for years!) and he's got this obvious fucking crush on her (the hallway scene where#he is. blatantly staring and she catches him for a second) and the moment she decides to actually start pursuing him because SHE'S#got a crush on HIM too... he starts pulling away and acting erratic and sending her the most mixed signals in the fucking world.#and sheee THINKSSS ITS HERRR FAULT!!!!!!!! like. listen. this scene i giffed above? this is what she's fucking talking about later#when she jokes about not wanting to 'scare him off again'. like sure she says it like a joke but... uhm. i simply think there's#a certain amount of truth to it too—because he DID leave the party visibly freaked out! and i think it'd be perfectly believable for her#to think that it was at least partially HER pushing too hard that was causing him to withdraw/pull away from her. plus she blatantly says#she thinks she's the reason Josh & Zach are fighting. like. this poor girl is on the outskirts of a tragedy she'll probably NEVER know the#details of but she's seeing firsthand the impact it's having on Zach and... blaming herself... that's so fucking heartbreaking
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localgardenweed · 3 months
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Me and bro in a alternate universe were its 1986 and we’re on a Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach and we stop to advertise Mario Ramen
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urlocalwormtoday · 1 month
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in cult of the lamb i remember when my favorite follower (white ish beige deer) proposed and it was so cute ((I even drew art of them together THEY MAKE ME ILL)) but then they died of old age a while later.. NOW ANOTHER DEER (((WHO HAS CONSISTENTLY TRIED TO PROVE HIS LOYALTY BY WANTING TO BE BOTH A DISCIPLE AND LOYALTY ENFORCER AND WANTING TO BE PUT IN JAIL))) WANTS TO MARRY ME AND ITS GIVING ME FLASHBACKS 😭🤲
#don't tell anyone but I do have a lambsona /silly#her name is Zephyr and the deer that originally was her spouse was named Magre#OUGHH I LOVE THEM SM <333#I tried speedrunning the game to get the golden skull necklace to make them immortal but#alas#I was not quick enough T-T#the best I could do was stretch their lifespan out#ARUGHH AND I DON'T HAVE THE REVIVAL DOCTRINE THING o(-(#anyhow#the follower that has repeatedly been devoted and loyal is a brown-grey deer with the darker marking on the forehead#his name is anmer and I feel bad for him bc I imagine it's one sided </3#he was born in the cult so it's a lil weird but#imagine you were born in this wonderful group of people- always accepting and kind and against most things bad#and the leader of this group was a lamb; powerful and guiding and never aggressive#you grow up cared for by them and nurtured by them; your life practically revolves around them#but they're somber a lot of the time. they're quiet and kind but they don't talk much. you never learn why#most of the graves in the graveyard are unmarked and you don't spend a whole lot of time there anyway#but as you grow older you see they're hurting#you don't understand why. nobody does except for them#you want to make them feel better even if you don't know how#so you go up to them one day and tell them “hey. I wanna be your right hand man. I wanna be your disciple”#and they let you with little resistance- if anything they seem happy !#but they're not happy for very long. you don't understand your presence hurts them more#because whenever they look at you they see somebody from the past. a dead lover#IM ILL. THEY MAKE ME SO ILL#cotl#cult of the lamb#cult of the lamb oc#cult of the lamb sona#Worm Thoughts
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mcgilou · 5 months
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i want y'all to know i wholeheartedly appreciate you
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autism-disco · 5 months
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sometimes i think i’m a fully proper binary guy. and then i think about gender for a minute too long and
#no but i am a guy i’m not non binary#but equally what makes me a man? what is masculinity?? how can i identify with something i don’t understand?? but i am a man! but why?? what#does that mean???? what makes anyone anything and does it matter??? no of course not! all that matters is that people can comfortably view#themselves and that’s the point of gender; to be comfortable#and gender *roles* are just bullshit and not real. but if not for gender roles where does gender come from?? again does it matter????#i mean really. we’re all just people and it’s about being happy. these boxes exist for a variety of reasons but if there’s happiness in the#box then you take the fucking box#you can have as many boxes as you like. or none! you just do what makes you happy. .. but then what makes me happy#cause as i say. i am a man completely. i wouldn’t be happy if someone referred to me as not a man. but am i a Man? do i want to be?#if masculinity is built upon stereotypes and i can never truly meet those stereotypes then what makes me a man? it’s the feeling of it?#the euphoria in being someone’s son. someone’s brother. someone’s boyfriend. you know? maybe that’s all it needs to be#i don’t have to understand masculinity to be a man. maybe no one actually understands masculinity or feminity for that matter because theyre#not tangible things. that’s what it boils down to it’s fucking intangibility and culture isn’t it#and i mean i think in a sense that’s beautiful? gender boxes can suck because of what we say are in them but really inherently? the fact#that humans have such an array of ways to make ourselves feel more comfortable in how we talk about ourselves? that’s incredible#i think that’s all i have to say for now#once again this is macbeths fault fuck shakespeare why does this always happen#ezra’s real life rambles#tldr i am a binary man but in a silly way i think. ever so slightly to the left. but i like being seen just as a guy and that’s easy enough#sorry to uh broadcast this on tumblr dot com if you read all of this i hope this was interesting
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youregonnabeokay-kid · 6 months
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okay, i’ve held off long enough. time to brag a lil (a lot)
I FREAKING NAILED THAT SCRIPT!!!
sure the words weren’t exactly the same but a) it seems like 911 has a lot of ad-libbing (sentence structure isn’t composed in a way that would fit the script + previous script and scene side-by-sides) and b)  the general conversation was the same
as someone who’s at the (very) beginning of their screenwriting journey it just makes me so happy that i was able to figure it out like AJSHEIWJKAKWNSKDK
DID YOU SEE THAT!!? I KNOW SCRIPT! I KNOW WORDS! I KNOW IT!!! I FIGURE OUT!!! I SCREENWRITE SO I KNOW SCRIPT FROM SCRAP OF SCRIPT!!!!
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lisbonsteresa · 2 years
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going unbelievably insane over this
#tm#i i'm like i'm short circuiting#the way - when they both carry so much pain and trauma with them; where they deal with death and the worst of people every day;#when they've lost so much; lost each other more than once -#one of the most pervasive themes in their story; woven throughout it from the very beginning is happiness#wanting to give whatever happiness they can to others -#comforting families and getting justice for victims and jane's gifts and pranks and lisbon's supportive leadership and understanding -#wanting to be happy themselves; and maybe most importantly wanting the other to be happy#like just off the top of my head (and i'm so tempted to go right back and rewatch and actually write down every one) there's so much of it#and it makes me crazy because of how it's expressed on both sides#lisbon doesn't SAY it much - most of the 'i want you to be happy' kind of lines are jane's - but she SHOWS it#from the day they met and she helped him up off the floor she's there in support of him;#her quiet comfort when he's low; her eye rolls and indulging grins when he's pulling a silly trick on the team;#her soft smiles in the background when someone genuinely thanks him and he doesn't know what to do#with the pain she has in her past; in growing up; with the tough skin she's wrapped herself in to get through what she has#she appreciates the quieter moments; the moments where her big bombastic partner lets down his guard and#stops putting on so much of a show and she can see the joy he can still find in the little things even with all the darkness he carries#it's jane that has the big loud moments - the confessions and the spoken words - where he states outright (and repeatedly)#how much he wants her to be happy; how important it is to him and that makes so much sense because that's who he is#(not always of course but more often than not and that's how he presents himself)#he's dramatic and he's bold and his grief is the same; this giant unavoidable yoke that's never going to completely fall off his shoulders#and idk there's just something so beautiful to me about this man with the more obvious burden of pain being so doggedly - and vocally -#committed to the happiness of this woman who tries to hide her pain and shies away from comfort more than she's able to accept it#and that through everything they've been together the ways both of them approach happiness and each other have also come together#where he can say something like this and not only can she be happy for him but she can know just how much of that is because of her#'for the first time in YOU know how long' and she does#they just make me crazy
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piplupod · 7 months
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head in my hands. i promise i am not a scary unhinged person fdsgjkl, and none of my silly happy posting is fake, i am just very good at repressing and partitioning things. i can be having the worst day of my life and still enjoy jokes and be genuinely having a good time with my silly little characters and stories i come up with. this brain LOVES to section off shit that is genuinely unbearable (because how else do you live with that? if not putting it in a place where you cannot feel it?) so that i can cope and find joy in life still fsdjkl i simply love having a good time too much to ever make it up
#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#i want to make friends and be a pleasant person to be around so badly but fhdsjkl then . this household hurts me as it is wont to do#and i have a small breakdown here bc it all feels so awful and i feel like if i keep it locked inside and hidden i will actually CrackTM#and then i feel like that is . well. understandably! a lot! for other ppl to see#and it is very upsetting and scary and awful to read. i know. im so well aware fjdskl#but also augh. augh augh augh. i try very hard to not post abt things as much as i humanly can avoid doing so#but i am very silly and fuck up my own rules for myself when i have a particularly bad experience w mother o' mine#i am worried that if i say anything to the effect of ''life is terrible and i am straight up not having a good time''#then it makes all my other posting look disingenuous or smth. i am literally just posting what is on my brain currently when i post stuff#and oftentimes my brain is like... a silly little swirl-patterned rubber bouncy ball with a happy face on it HDSGJKL#that is like... a lot of my whole deal as a part of the brain fsdfjkl#even with all the grief and upset i can still have a good time bc we stay silly !!!! by god we stay silly through it all !!!#i will shrug my shoulders and say ''ah well what can ya do!'' after getting screamed at or told i'm a disappointment to the family lmfao#because honestly... what can you do dsfkl it is what it is and theres rly nothing i can do about this all#anyways i am talking toooooo much sorry fdsjgkl once again i will delete all this later so i dont upset ppl too much dsjkl augh augh sorry
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