#//its hard breaking into a new fandom as a new blog who knows nothing

[systastic]

hi hi! i know you do songtives but i was wondering if you could do a level 2 or a level 3 pack for a fandom song? specifically this one

https://youtu.be/Nbxu8jl_jVU?si=lvPgMolg9Mif94fh

the song is based on eridan ampora homestuck, which you can read his wiki if you want. but i was thinking about the pack being focused on the song specifically. tysm for your time!!

oh nice a new song to add to our collection /lh -🌳

I stepped in on this one as the vibe that was gathered from the song itself is very similar to “my” own experience as a headmate within our system and thus triggered me into the front. if this intrusion has impacted your request, I suggest resubmitting to this blog and asking for changes or asking a different blog for assistance in this. sincerely, umbra.

name :: cassiel, dolen, yachid, aarick, ekak, casimir, einar, ezhno, isel, mal, kafur, karikoga

age :: 27 ; optionally, thy may also be ageless entirely. the concept is confusing to nae either way.

pronouns :: prefers kye/kyr/kyr/kyrs/kyrself, hye/hyer/hyers/hyenself, rie/rhem/rer/rers/rerself, nae/nym/nyr/nyrs/nymself, se/syr/sym/syrs/syrself, thy/thym/thyr/thymself, or dae/daem/daer/daemself ; will accept it/its & they/them ; he/him used only as a last resort. often speaks of thymself in the second person through a descriptive lens.

roles :: loner, insomnaut, catalyst (finding the truth about kyrself leads to dark places no one else knows. alone, but never on syr own — a head full of fog with nothing to help comfort nym. something changes — a fundamental break — but as for what… isn’t quite known.)

species (suggestions) :: hybrid human ; ghost ; entity/daemon of solitude ; shadow entity ; no species at all (null creature)

gender identity :: acadelibre, impostoria, kenonightfield, crackedmaskic, mascnul

orientation :: whatever you choose doesn’t mean anything to kyr. casimir prefers being alone. to even broach the idea of connection with another person is to deny ezhno what constitutes kyr very being.

source :: ugly story (songtive)

aesthetic :: dullcore, soft macabre, sizz ; sitting on a rooftop by yourself, surrounded by a fog that mists around your shoulders and holds you close. no matter the distance between you and the world, it is never quite close enough. lonely, perhaps, but being able to find comfort in the absence.

appearance description :: dark and fuzzy as though looking into an oncoming fog. you may not see it at first glance. only on a second look will you notice cassiel. daer features are a mystery; dae are in shadow irregardless of lighting, leaving only the pale glow of daer irises as an indication dae are present. thy is humanoid in appearance but presents with wispy or smoky features such as wisps of hair floating from thyr head, fingertips bleeding ink clouds into the air, and thyr legs and other extremities being mostly transparent near the outer edges. einar is hard to distinguish on a good day. most report thyr existence as a vague “presence”, unable to distinguish who it is but able to feel someone in the area. thy prefer this: being “nothing” instead of “something” gives thym a sense of fulfillment / euphoria.

personality description :: perfect silence in all ways of the word: no speaking, no footsteps, no idle sounds of shuffling fabric as thy shift from foot to foot. it is off putting to some — why exist at all if your “existence” is nothingness? notably, aarick will not engage if provoked, harassed, or threatened: it remains silent and simply… watches as though nothing has happened at all. if other headmates are a Presence, ekak is an Absence: the unwavering static of nyr mind drowns out all else to the point of unfeeling. this is not apathy — no, there is not an emotion behind your actions. it is the absence of emotion entirely - the absence of bias, thought, or anything of the sort - that signifies syr existence.

likes :: the quiet calm that falls once all others have fallen asleep. the unwavering nature of night: dark and alone, unmodified, solitary yet not spiteful. a comfortable disconnect that lays between mind and body; having a degree of separation between the two ensures kyr presence in the first place. to be reminded of it brings a heavy-hearted pain dawning cannot stand. the ability to write about mal’s feelings and the sense of disconnect, putting these words to paper as a form of journaling. observation from afar is superior to personal connection - the chance of change or requirement of speech is too high - making this yachid’s preference over conversing or the like.

dislikes :: speaking in any form. to be solitary is a choice; speaking shatters the very choice that you made to begin with. being in the presence of others is what karikoga abhors the most. feelings do not come naturally when forced by others to exist. how can you be expected to feel when there is nothing to be felt in the first place? reminders that einar has a body is torturous. dae cannot stand the chains of flesh, being locked into physical form, being reminded that dae have to care for a body as though it were daer child. dolen prefers the intangibility of imagination over the confinement that is the body.

front triggers :: solitude. the heavy burden of existence on one’s shoulders. a sudden realization— this is not the home you know. this is not your place. this is not you. these things draw isel to the surface and leave daer presence lingering long after dae have retreated back to the comfort of the mind.

signoff :: 👑, ⚓️, 🐦‍⬛, 🩻, 🪦, ⛓️‍💥, 🗡️, 🖤, 💜, or ♒️

source is here. artist is @_ysther on twitter.

[blueberrisdove-sideblog]

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 ! may you please read the rules? Thank you.

fandoms i'm currently writing for:

Bungou stray dogs, Honkai star rail and wuthering waves.

Note : Most of this is NSFW and really HEAVY. So please minors dni with any nsfw content.

I will write : fluff, dark content (omegaverse, yandere, stalking, cannibalism, hybrids, etc.) Nsfw/Smut, age gap (not that huge), bondage, more than one/two rounds, angst, dominant AND submissive characters, vanilla sex, pregnancy/sex during pregnancy, and dead dove do not eat content.

I won’t write : Piss kink, Food kink, Male pregnancy (unless its a joke 😋 then yeah I can write that pookie), Incest, noncon, pedo stuff, feet fetish, Character x oc, character x character, Period sex, strap, Sexual harassment or sexual assault, Adults in diapers, whipping, shoe licking , aging up minors, Tsundere, ace/color specified reader, sexual assault, Sexual harassment, wound fucking.

Also please do not write your request a whole fucking essay, I don’t mind a long one but don’t write it like its a novel smh.

New rule — if ya going to request add this heart [🤍] so I know that you read the rules (˶ ◜ᴗ◝ ˶) ♡︎ !

reminders !

DO NOT STEAL, COPY OR ANYTHING OF MY WORKS.

minors are welcomed in this blog as long as you do not interact with my nsfw works nor sending me thirsts. i hold no responsibility for the content you consume.

You have to be AT-LEAST 14 since I like talking to people who are older than 15 though it’s alright if 14-17 as long as you don’t request NSFW.

I write…fem!reader and gn!reader, I can also write abt make!reader if you ask a request of it (but if you don’t mention the reader’s gender I’ll do it female)

Don’t request to me Nsfw and you’re a minor.

Please don’t rush, I take time finishing requests since I have a life outside of tumblr so be at least patient for once.

I MAKE A LOT OF ERROR MISTAKES 😭🙏

Please be patient, i have a life outside of tumblr…

I mostly write abt male characters though I can also write female characters.

MUTUAL RULES !

Wanna be my mutual?

Just ask “can I be your mutual” and i obviously can’t refuse and accept it! Or if we interacted alot than yea I’ll follow you back! ;)

How to break the mutual?

Just block me, make sure it’s hard block though my dearest!

If I ever block you, why?

A minor who is interacting with NSFW content, be at-least 17…to do nsfw…?

Or you’re making me uncomfortable and being wired.

Please be kind :)

Hii easy rule right?? If you’re being rude or something or hating on my works, I’ll chat with you in dms for a bit. Though if you’re still being rude and aggressive = block

I have discord its = cheriihoes

ATTENTION: any hate or rude shit in my inbox will not be answered and will be removed. People like this are disgusting, to people who did nothing…

[theloveinc]

I am returning the favor 😘 4 and 25 for the violence asks

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

this is so funny bc i almost asked you this one, ace!! but then i thought someone (me) might get their feelings hurt so i didn't LMFAOOO, but honestly, i'm not really sure?

i'm not really a blocker because (i'm a baby and) i don't really dislike anyone that strongly? even people i'm not exactly a fan of, it's not like i don't... wanna see them? if that makes sense?

but hmmmmmmmmmmmm, the last straw for someone........? honestly i have not blocked anyone in AGES i don't even know. but i have unfollowed people for breaking moots before and there is someone on here i'm really sad abt not being moots with (bc i love them and they followed ihb right before i left and never figured out why they never came back?) so i had to unfollow bc i just starting thinking mean things for no reason lol.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

oh my god. so many. so, sooooo many. not even because i disagree w the complaint but because it's gotten to the point where i think its so useless to complain when nothing is gonna change no matter what u say!!!

i guess a non-typical one i'm sick of (cuz i was really referring to the blank blog problem w/ that comment)... is...... how do i say...................... complaining abt how readers ask too much of writers.

idk. it's hard to express because on one hand, no one should be overworked or feel obligated to produce writing. But on the other hand, i think readers do a lot more for this site than is really appreciated, and even the dumb requests that get sent... do mean the person appreciates you in a lot of ways? and just don't deserve to be entirely tormented?

it's also kinda grating to me atp because ik other fandom insert communities work differently... so it often could be someone just isn't used to doing something a certain way, and therefore get confused when they transfer over to a new community where the norms are different (such as no requests, or reading news rules).

PLUS, most vocal readers are really kind and respectful! there's just always going to be a certain handful of people who break the boundaries, and shouldn't get lumped in with the people here who actually make this place great. which is why sometimes i think all the salt is unnecessary.

it's actually a huge dilemma for me, LOL. but I love u, ace! and thank u for returning the favor<3

-

(choose violence ask game!)

[itsohh]

Hello! I hope you are doing well! When you first started writing here on Tumblr, did you hesitate or were nervous and if so how did you deal with it? Or did you just power through it and fuck it I'm putting my writing out there and I don't care what people say?

Long story short I'm really wanting to write on here just to do something different but I'm hella nervous and just wanted an opinion. Because I really love R6 but I have a very hard time getting out of my shell. Obviously you don't have to answer if you are uncomfortable! Till then I can't wait for your next post! 😊

hmmm I think way back when I first started writing I was a lot more care free at the time back when I was like 13.

I don't think I was ever focused on like anyone hating it or anything like that. Like I've legit never got hate for writing in all the years I've done it. Either people will hit the like button or they wont. Back then I was writing for like supernatural and marvel then eventually overwatch and a bit of Sherlock. In the case of I guess it was 'whats the worst that will happen' in all reality most of the time people who don't like x reader have the tag blocked and so only people who like said thing will find it (so long as u tag correctly)

I've sorta just got to the stage where posting doesn't really phase me in nervousness or anything, like sure for somethings I lose interest or motivation at times but when I started posting I didn't really get any like feedback at all? Like it was very rare I would get anything that wasn't a like or a reblog and requests didn't happen much. I think the fact that Tumblr is so anonymous really helps, like its almost a mask. No one actually knows who I am, worst comes to worst I can legit just delete the blog and start anew.

I think also fandom size is a huge thing, is reconising your audience, there's no point comparing like notes to another fandom cause honestly it just reflects how popular said thing is. After I realised that I sorta don't worry anymore? I used to freak out a bit about people not liking my posts but now I'm just like 'eh R6S is tiny' and it is.

Honestly yeah so long as you tag correctly you should be alg. In the R6S fandom at leat people are pretty chill. (Idk there's some hate to oc's or something but as long as u don't tag as x reader u should be alg)

Anyway I'm rambling a lot but honestly yeah just go for it hun, upload. Nothing bad will happen, might feel a bit anxious or whatever but its like, yeah. You feel me? that being said if your going to write please remember capitals and new speaker new line theses are so important, as someone who breaks a lot of grammar rules those two shouldn't be broken in writing. I know a lot of people aren't a fan of first person so if you do write first person your audience would be smaller than per say second or first

Some people may have different ideas or interpretations of character but I feel as a tumblr collective (speshly this fandom) people won't like hate on you for it.

ANYWAY I went off again, yeah give it a go. eventually you will get used to it and it will become a second habit to upload, frankly so long as you ultimately always write for your enjoyment your always good. uploading writing is pretty much like the same as watching a movie with a friend id say, or like running a dnd campaign sorta vibes. kinda. but yeah just hit that post button and off u go. I guess yeah just power through it, hitting post the first time is def the hardest and you just gotta rip that bad boy off.

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

Hi! Sorry in advance that this is a bit of a long question! I’m fairly new to Larry (I fell down the rabbit hole a few months ago and am now hopelessly invested), but I’ve been reading everything I can to piece the story together myself. A lot of the established Larries I’ve seen have been pretty staunch to their belief that HL have been together beginning to end, but when I listen to the solo albums (Walls especially), I can’t help but feel there is a pretty conspicuous theme of splitting apart

and coming back together again: there’s “should’ve never let you go,” “I cut you off,” “I know you said that you'd give me another chance… mentally you were already out the door,” “I *was* better with you,” and “the day you walked away and took the higher ground,” from Walls, and also lines like “I know that you're tryna be friends” in Fine Line. These lines feel to me like they imply not just a rough patch, but an actual split. Not only that, but there is the video of Harry saying he wrote Two Ghosts “the first time he broke up with me” (unless this has been debunked and I totally missed it?) I’ve read your lyric analyses (which are incredible by the way, and I may have had a small emotional breakdown the other night while reading them — ESNY hits hard), and while it seems like you agree that these lyrics may allude to some kind of break happening, I’m really curious about what might have happened (and when it may have happened, if there was a breakup). To be clear, I firmly believe they are together now and whether or not they broke up doesn’t impact how I feel about them or their relationship, but I really don’t want to be the person that romanticizes their relationship and I *especially* don’t want to be the person that glosses over things just because they are painful or I don’t understand them, and the fact that a breakup really doesn’t fit in the timeline despite the above just keeps nudging me in the brain (hopefully that makes sense?). I’m really sorry if you’ve answered this question before and I didn’t see it or if I’m misinterpreting your analysis!! And thank you for all of the work you've put into your blog!

hello, kind anon! yeah this is one of those subjects that divides the fandom, ig, which is probably why you're having trouble finding answers. some ppl are adamant that they never broke up, others think they were apart for years, and yeah, i mean, we know nothing for sure, so either of those options could be true.

as is very clear from my blog, i love to base a lot of my convictions i have of them on their music. the stuff they themselves have written and put out, which contains so much truth maybe under a few veils of symbolism but we can work through those can't we. to give a quick answer to your question: i really don't have a firm idea of when a split might have happened.

and then i'll let myself loose a little and speculate, based on my obsessive reading of their music, some timelines here and there and my constant mulling over of anything they have ever done. their music, and then especially hs1, tells the story of a deep-rooted relationship suddenly going through changes in a way that has its members lose their footing (to put it super bluntly). my general idea about this is that they started having issues as soon as 1d ended, bc of the abrupt context shift, and them suddenly being forced to find a way through daily life without that dependence on the band's schedule. i don't mean their relationship was held together by the band, but i suspect that at some point they might have feared that. they lost sight of who they were supposed to be and it fucked with their brains. bad.

hs1 definitely mentions distance and separation, "you" being shut off, not calling, etc. so, to set my time frame super wide bc i genuinely don't have an idea, i'd say their main issues were very very active during the writing process of hs1 (which started pretty much after 1d). i do believe that h and l were in contact on and off throughout their break(s), though. their songs mention them taking time apart, and h waiting for l to be open, but there is always that baseline of being in touch, thinking about each other, loving one another okok ella don't get sappy yet save it for the end. and i also believe louis was there in jamaica for a brief period of time, while harry was making hs1. i don't mean everything was fixed by then, but they were def v happy at that point in time.

throughout the years, i think more of these ups and downs have happened, until hs1 finally got its reply in walls. louis took a while - and ofc walls was also written over the course of many years so i'm seeing this time frame very wide too - to come out into the hallway. hs1 has harry realising, slowly, what's wrong, and figuring out he needs to work on himself in order for the relationship to work, just like "you" has to. and he's just also sad about being lonely ofc, waiting for the other to come around. and then in walls, louis tells the story of an internal struggle he had to overcome to finally see what was in front of him, to finally be able to apologize and love properly. fine line, in my mind, fits in after this timeline, especially bc louis has made it clear that so much of walls was written long before its release, and simply bc the storyline makes most sense to me that harry is recounting their life after overcoming those major personal and relationship issues. by this i don't mean all of their problems are solved ofc bc in fine line there's still struggle but it's more on a personal level for harry and yk what i mean.

sooooo what's my conclusion. my view is that they struggled a LOT after 1d until hs1, then struggled some more but started talking, started working shit out properly, and during their semi-simultaneous polishing of fine line and walls, they reached that point where they could convincingly say they made it. fine line is just so full of gleeful, sappy love and walls is full of confidence and faith in their foundation as well as their future. bc hs1 still had that foundation, which we can hear the loudest in sweet creature - meaning they never gave up on each other - but in fine line the ecstasy of that love thriving is sung from the rooftops. and walls tells that entire story, to be honest. the struggle, the tenderness, the limitless dedication.

i hope this is.... somewhat of an okay answer that stills the mill of your mind trying to figure it out. i know this isn't really a straightforward answer, but i don't have one for myself either, and i've found i don't want one either. bc at the end of the day it doesn't matter, yk! they always loved each other, no matter what, and now they made it

[sitp-recs]

hello liv, how are you doing? i hope you're alright :) ily and this blog <3 idk why im writing this, guess i just need someplace to talk. these days i feel very hopeless and tired, like i have no energy to do anything. and i absolutely adore drarry with all of my heart but lately even reading stories about my two favourite boys has become so hard, nothing holds my interest and i don't know what to do. i'm 19 so i feel like maybe it's too early to have this kind of existential dread. help pls lol

Hi darling, first of all I’m so so sorry for the huge delay in my response! I totally missed this ask a while ago and now I have no idea how long it’s been sitting in my ask box, I hope you’re still able to see this 💔

I’m really sorry things have been rough for you, I’m sending hugs and love your way. Every now and then I go through a burnout phase too, and even reading fic becomes a chore. I get anxious thinking “I should be spending all my free time reading and reccing!!” when in reality I don’t have any energy left to invest in it. It can be a really miserable feeling and it took me ages to accept that I should be gentler to myself and take breaks when that wave hits hard. I try to stay away from Tumblr and to focus on what brings me joy or, at least, some peace of mind at that moment. It could be playing with my dog, doing online shopping, listening to music, treating myself some ice cream, or just sleeping 12 hours on a Sunday. Don’t stress too much about fandom if that’s not what you need right now - the fics (and Tumblr) will always be there if/when you’re ready to come back.

Lastly, let me tell you this in case no one else has: you’re allowed to feel this way at 19. I hate it when people dismiss others’ struggles just because they’re supposedly too young or too old to deal with something. Every age has its challenges and to be honest I might have been happier in my 20s but I was also living under extreme stress, working & studying my ass off, facing family issues and trying to embrace the whole world without any reason and without enough resources or emotional intelligence, the only difference (and it was a major one!) is that back then I had a support network of family and friends that had my back. Now, the older I get the more I understand myself and am able to identify what/who I want to keep and what I’m ready to get rid of. So I wanted to validate your feelings first and foremost! Staying close to the ones that offer unconditional love and support (and away from toxic relationships - another lesson I had to learn the hard way) helped me too so I hope you can count on those as well.

I hope you’re able to fall back in love with Drarry or find something new to be passionate about, something that sparks the light inside you again. Every now and then I welcome a new obsession to feel that thrill! Until then stay safe and take care of yourself. It gets better 🫂

Edit: I don’t have the authority/feel confident to talk clinically about mental health issues, but tips and comments in the notes are more than welcome! Thanks @thegreatzeldini

[conspirwbytheorist-inactive]

Time to Say Goodbye

Hey guys. So. It's err, been a while, but I figured it was way past time to make it official: I've decided to completely leave RW/BY and the FN/DM. Sorry it took like. . . 7+ months(?) to post this. When I took a break to gather my feelings, I had intended to say goodbye in a month tops, but then life got in the way. Hit a point where I thought it might be easier to just abandon this blog without a word and move on but. . . It just felt wrong to leave without saying anything. Even though the show isn’t for me anymore, my time in this fandom meant a lot to me and it felt wrong to turn tail without some form of closure, you know?

So, if you’re interested in any of that, feel free to read below the cut. No real “hard hitting” analysis. Just me processing my complicated feelings and how I came to realize the show isn’t for me anymore. This blog will remain up for folks to stumble across, but since it was my main, after I finish tweaking my name and appearance I will be off to a new blog and will no longer be able to be reached here.

Thank y’all for everything. This was my first active fandom experience. Definitely a complicated one, but not one I regret having taken the plunge into. It was very nice while it lasted, but it’s time for me to move on. Wishing you all the best.

 -Grim

Choosing to leave the fandom sucks and was a difficult decision to come to. This was the first show I ever felt passionate enough to participate in its fandom. I made good friends and found support here that was invaluable for getting me through 2020. Not to mention how much of my own personal stuff it helped me process and work through. This show meant a lot to me. I only came in at the tail end of V6, but it had so much heart and charm and love put into it that I couldn't help but hop on for the ride. But, compared the 6 volumes that got me hooked, 7 and 8 felt. . .hollow. Lacking depth. Focusing on constantly ratcheting up the plot and stakes instead of devoting time to developing the characters that previously drove its story.

I came to RW/BY because of its characters. Learning the backstories behind them, hearing the writers and actors talk about them, it was abundantly clear that they truly loved them. And that meant a lot to me. Yang's story, her personality, her flaws and trauma, they hit so comically close to my own that I had no choice but to finally see myself in a character. Unlike other shows, CR/WBY cared enough to let her be messy, to let her be complicated - angry and emotional and impulsive but still compassionate and smart and thoughtful - in a loving way that didn't make me feel shame. I received a lovely anon a while back thanking my Yang analysis specifically for inspiring them to start analyzing and being invested in the show themselves. I don't know who you are and I'm sorry for never responding, but that meant so much for me to read.

Analyzing Yang was an exercise in self-love for me. While I struggle to be kind to myself, I felt nothing but compassion for her. Having this character, having her be visibly flawed and complicated in a way so similar to my own insecurities and being handled by a team that obviously loved her for it, was something I'd never felt before. In analyzing her story, I could finally put words to my own traumas without the shame and judgement I had felt before. Each and every one of those posts was an exercise in vulnerability for me and to hear that that inspired someone to explore their own passions means more to me than I can express. Especially since I know there are so many others in the FN/DM who have had similar relationships to characters as me. Some with Yang, as well, others with We/iss, Whit/ley, Penny, Raven, Ci/nder, you name it - there's something about how the characters were handled that seems to resonate deeply with people. If my taking the dive to openly talk about mine encouraged you to take a chance, then I have no regrets.

But, that being said, I need to accept that the show can no longer serve that purpose for me and move on. The main reason I felt comfortable enough to be so emotionally invested was the trust I put in this team to do right by its characters. That even if the plot got rough, they'd prioritize doing their stories justice. Penny's death shattered that faith. Not because they decided to kill her but because of how they went about doing it. I don't mind a writer killing off a character I love so long as it does right by them. As much as Pyr/rha's death stings I still think it was the right choice: she was an idealist and those ideals and convictions ended with her death. We saw this. We spent time with her, learned her perspective, to the point where, by the time she died, it felt fitting for the character.

Penny didn't get that. Despite being bumped to an honorary main for a whole season, Penny didn't talk much. She reacted to things, sure. Voiced some doubts and worries. But, outside of her desire to be seen as a person, not a tool, we didn't get her perspective on much else. To the point that, by the time she died, we didn't have any clear idea as to why. Sure, she had this weird thing about immediately asking people to kill her during the hack and risking herself for friends, but it wasn't really examined. From what we saw it looked like Ruby's pep talks were doing the trick. Did she miss the mark somehow? Did Penny see herself as less than for some reason? We'll never know because the narrative didn't consider important enough to include. The same way it didn't consider it important enough to include exploring her emotions around becoming physically human. As a trans person, I can attest that there are a lot of feelings wrapped up in body stuff (even when it involves things that affirm your identity), Penny's had a central tension between her humanity and her body for a long time, why not was there not so much as a throwaway line to acknowledge it?

It's true that time constraints are a real factor in storytelling and producing media. No matter how grand the intention, at the end of the day you can only do as much as time and resources allow. Choices about what to prioritize have to be made. But, that doesn't change the fact that they knew this was going to happen, knew Penny was going to die, and still made the choice not to prioritize making sure the narrative focused enough on her internal motivations to connect that death with a greater character arc. Maybe they meant to, maybe they didn't. But without that context and internal motivation. Penny's death feels like something to advance the plot (a tool, if you will) more than anything having to do with her as a character. It’s shocking and upsetting, sure, but lacks any of the deeper meaning needed to bring catharsis.

Think the difference between Adam and Yang’s semblance, if you will (to give a visual demonstration). On the surface, both function the same way: they take pain/damage meant for them, store it up, and transform it into an attack to deal more damage. But, beneath that, they have one key difference: Adam doesn’t feel the pain he weaponizes. He doesn’t have to. He takes it in his sword, tucks it away and that’s the end of it. He doesn’t need to understand or empathize with why it hurts to weaponize it. All he needs to do is fling it out at the right time.

Being “shocking” or “upsetting” in and of itself doesn’t take much skill or effort. You just kind of need to watch people, see what hurts them or makes them the most uncomfortable, and just do that. Think jump scares, or shock comics, or even just internet trolls: they don’t really have refined tactics. Jump scares rely on activating fight or flight reflexes (hence why the scare usually doesn’t linger), most shock comedy quickly devolves into a contest for who knows the nastiest slurs, and trolls often have prompts that they will use to spam accounts until someone responds. Doesn’t really take a lot of work. You don’t need a degree to realize “hey, calling people slurs makes them angry” just like you don’t need one to realize that having a beloved character semi-graphically kill themselves without prompting on screen is going to hurt people.

Nuanced tragedy takes work. It takes a willingness to understand why something hurts, requires being able to empathize with an audience and to actually feel, in some way, what their experience may be like. Unlike Adam, who can dish damage on a dime, Yang has to physically take in that pain first. She has to actually take the hit, feel the hurt and internalize it before she can do anything with it. Because of the toll it takes, she doesn’t get to use her semblance left and right, she has to be smart about it. Decide which key moments are worth the risk and which she has to hold back on. And, while it may be less efficient than Adam’s method - all damage without having to feel - it’s helped shape her into the heart of her team. She knows what it’s like to hurt, to have to feel pain in order to move forward. Unlike Adam, who sees it only as weakness, a point of pride that he not feel it, she doesn’t judge or exploit people’s flaws, she accepts them. Makes them feel connected in a way they hadn’t before.

RW/BY stood out because it did a similar thing. Unlike so many other big-budget films and shows coming out nowadays, you could just feel the amount of love put into it. Instead of doing what Marvel, or the CW or so many large companies do and prioritize speed and keeping characters at a surface level, it stopped. Took the time to ask and analyze and attempt to empathize with why they might be that way and take care to give them what they need to grow as people. They very easily could have taken Yang, seen this massive mix of seemingly contradictory personality traits, and tried to “fix” her. Take away her faults, have her “get over” her anger, paint her as an emotional idiot and had someone take those away - essentially center her arc on getting rid of the “bad” things in her personality. Lord knows the reason I hated Yang at first is because I’d seen so many other shows do the same. But, they didn’t. They recognized those faults as a key part of her. Centered her arc on finding balance instead of perfection. Let her stay impulsive and scared and aggressive but also intelligent and badass and caring all at the same time. Just as they didn’t try to “fix” Blake’s quietness or Ruby’s optimism or Wei/ss’s coldness. Where the show may have struggled technically (especially in earlier seasons) or in making grand statements, it excelled in the small things - in working with its characters needs and wants to create very powerful emotional beats that resonated with a lot of people in a way they hadn’t before.

So it was bizarre going from that approach all the way from V3 through V6 to suddenly shifting the focus in V7. Trading small, intimate moments with characters for sweeping shots of the new engine’s capabilities. Relying on blood and gore and theatrical shots to give weight to important deaths (Cl/over, Vine, Penny, Hound) instead of doing so through character significance. Completely dropping character aspects that had seemingly been building up to Atlas (Blake and the fa/unus, We/iss and her family, Blake and Yang navigating a relationship) and leaving those characters with nothing else to do.

Like. I’m not gonna sit here and lecture whoever the heck has made it this far about how this is “objectively awful” or the show “sucking now”. There’s nothing inherently bad with any of this. I recognize that some people really enjoy having a lot of action and a plot with higher stakes and seeing new lore and monsters and such. It just. . . is not at all what I enjoy.

Looking back on these volumes, most of the plot beats didn’t surprise me. They’ve been saying that they’d mapped out thru V9 from the start, and looking at the isolated beats themselves, I’ll believe them. They add up. But, the thing is, I don't care about the plot for plot's sake. I don't want Ironwood to be a villain because the outline said he should. That's boring. I want him to be a villain because it shows how even a seemingly "good" ideology can justify evil when taken to an absolute extreme. I don't want Blake and Yang to just kiss for validation: I want them to have a complicated romantic relationship to show how they help each other grow as people. The beat doesn't interest me. What it means for the characters does and without that, there isn’t much reason for me to stick around.

And, like, I don't want to blame CR/WBY. Like I said, for six solid volumes they did amazingly by these characters and I do believe, at some level, they still genuinely care and this is still very personal to them. Even as much as I disliked these volumes, there were still little bits (R/en and Nora's arcs, C/inder's backstory/focus, Penny getting powers, and Yang and Ruby's discussion of Summer) where that heart still shone through.

Looking at the timing and how quickly the shift came about (between 6 and 7 right after RTA went through massive restructuring following multiple scandals) I suspect some form of corporate interference. A lot of the things that, if included, would have addressed these issues (Blake and Yang's relationship, mentions of fau/nus, examining Jacques or James' roles/motivations) seemed very much like what a businessperson trying to sell to their idea of stereotypical cishet, white, American male anime fans would tell writers to cut to avoid controversy. As does the new policy of doubling down on every writing decision instead of the previous willingness to own up to mistakes. Not to mention that the reason the “technically perfect, depth lacking” approach is so common strictly because it does make writing so efficient. Like. . . yeah. Would be very surprised if there wasn’t any of that there.

Also wouldn't be surprised if after 3+ years of being grilled by fans M&K just kind of burned out and started handing the reigns off for Eddy and Kiersi to take over starting V10. Weird pattern in V8 especially where a. . .disproportionate amount of the "payoff" episodes (episodes whose events contained major events that ended arcs and steered the tone/course of the narrative and plot) were written almost exclusively by Eddy. Combined with him being the most vocal defender of a lot of the writing decisions that felt most disjointed from the older volumes (Clover’s death, Penny’s death, the whole finale) makes me wonder if they're passing the torch. Which, can't really blame them for. I. . .can imagine getting multitudes of hatred and death threats for the show you're continuing specifically to honor your late friend isn't exactly good motivation to continue. But it doesn't change the fact that whatever's going on, I think this is the new normal and this new normal is not for me.

Doesn’t help that it unfortunately reached a point where I don’t think anything they do going forward could “make up for” some of the decisions that were made. Bringing Penny back won’t fix how they handled her death. In fact, for me, it would kind of make it worse. If she had to die in such a bloody, gruesome way, I want it to be for a reason. If she was coming back, they could have kept her a robot and saved the human thing for later. Have that heartbreaking moment with Pi/etro bringing her back at the cost of his own life instead of having to make up some new and magical loophole to resurrect a full human. If she had to be human for that death, it better have been for a reason other than for the shock of showing red blood. Similarly, even if Blake and Yang’s relationship gets confirmed, doesn’t fix the fact that they had no qualms reverting them into a couple of co-dependent stereotypes rather than complete the step that the narrative itself set up to be crucial to each of their character developments.

Do I hope I'm proven wrong? Yeah! Absolutely! I would love to check in out of idle curiosity a few years from now only to find out I was wrong and they somehow pulled it off and actually it turned out to not be half bad. I have no judgement on anyone who's still sticking around. But, for me, the potential emotional toll that the writers staying this path may have far outweighs the potential benefit that I might get if things pan out.

Like, I haven't kept up on the fanbase or show. Most I've gotten is from scrolling through my feed while taking breaks trying to write this over the past few months. But the moment I saw the bit of V8 commentary where Eddy admits to throwing Yang off first simply because it would "hurt the most" I knew I needed to rip off this bandaid now instead of waiting for the perfect words. There's no love in that. No care or empathy. Not only that, it ignores the fact that the show literally already did this in V3-V6. We've seen Yang fall. We've seen everyone react to Yang falling, come together when she gets back up. To do that all over again only reinforces the sense that the characters have become stagnant, or at least that he is not interested in pushing them in interesting directions. As much as it sucks to drop something that carried me through for so long, and as much as I struggle to let things go, I need to accept that whatever this is, it's no longer for me.

I don’t regret it, my time spent here. Much as I dislike the current direction, these characters will always hold a special place for me. My partner and I will probably continue to slip little hints of purple and gold in wherever we can. I’m 1000% certain I’ll get the “scathing eyes” quote from the yellow trailer tattooed on me at some point. Will still probably think of a sad, angry bird watching but fearing connection when I think of my own distant mother. Little things, you know? Bits that are mine now because of the meaning I’ve imbued them with. No one can take those from me and I’ll treasure them for a while yet.

I'll be fine. One reason it took me so long to write this is that I've been working on applying to law school. The processing I did here, along with my therapist, friends and loving partner, helped me to become much more comfortable in myself. For the first time in a long time, as shit as the world is, I feel I have purpose. I'm moving forward. Healing. It's. . .nice.

Well. I think I’ve done more than enough rambling at this point. If you’ve managed to make it this far, thank you so much. (I hope I managed to communicate something, lol) Kind of long, but I think I finally feel the sense of closure I needed to move on. All the best

-Grim (fka, conspirwbytheorist)

[suneatersupportsquad]

red handed; colby brock

request:  im not sure if you do requests or even any imagines for colby brock anymore but i was wondering if you cold make a exception, so basically the plot is that the reader met colby through kat and since then they hit it off, now their in a secretive relationship the only person who knows is kat but she only knows the reader has a crush on colby. one day everyones hanging out in the same room room and colby is sexting the reader, sams curious to whos hes texting and they find out their dating.

dedication: @whydontweanons​

genre: fluff, subtle smut?

pairing: colby brock x gn!reader

characters: colby brock, sam golbach, katrina stuart, corey scherer, jake webber, kevin langue, brennen taylor, devyn lundy, tara yummy

word count: 1.8k

warnings: alcohol, what would probably be underage drinking, NSFW (barely), sexting (duh), mentions of COVID-19, quarantine

a/n: of course i’ll still write for sam and colby!! it’s just that, since i’m not as active of a follower of them as i used to be, my goal is to write for fandoms that i’m more invested in at the moment. but, honestly, i don’t think i could ever really stop writing for them. i love those boys so much. also this plot made me laugh so hard when i saw it in the best way possible. getting this request honestly made my day, so thank you for that!! anyways, i’m a little rusty, but here we go.

important links: masterlist

find more fics at my new blog @trapboysbunny

You and Colby had known each other for a long time - pretty much since he’d moved to LA with Sam - and you had been involved romantically just as long. You had met him and Sam through Kat on a boring Saturday night when all their friends flaked on coming to a little kickback they were hosting. Trying to be a good friend and cheer the boys up, Katrina had invited you to hopefully kickstart some emotional momentum. Your eyes met Colby’s for the first time and you clicked. Something in your gut had told you that the two of you would end up being close, and it was right. You had hit it off immediately, not taking very long to start laughing at one another’s corny jokes and telling stories over Smirnoff Ice while some random late night show played in the background. From that night on, it was history.

Since then, you two had been practically attached at the hip. If you weren’t sitting on the same room or facetiming, you were definitely texting one another. It became a running joke in your friend group that you two had evolved into a pair of siamese twins, or that being without you gave Colby separation anxiety. The two of you found it even more amusing when you actually began dating, not long after that fateful first night. It amazed the both of you that you were able to hide your relationship so well. No one had a clue. The two of you laughed about it quite often, actually, over late night phone calls and tipsy afternoons spent only with each other. No one knew, and nobody needed to know.

Colby, due to the internet and his fanbase being the way it is, preferred to keep his personal (and especially romantic) relationships more on the private side. His intent wasn’t necessarily to hide his feelings and relationship with you from his friends, but that particular topic of conversation never really came up in your friend group. Everyone had just kind of figured that everyone single would simply date someone when they were ready and tell everybody about it when they felt the time was appropriate. It wasn’t that Colby didn’t want to tell them, he just didn’t see the point in going out of his way to tell all of his friends hey after God knows how long I finally have a partner. He just didn’t want to make a big deal out of your relationship. Knowing his friends, they would definitely make it into some type of big thing, not to mention that Jake would dub the occasion as “cause for celebration” (which was really just an excuse to drink more). So Colby preferred to keep things on the quieter side for you two; neither of you wanted to make your relationship into an object for speculation.

Kat was the only person out of all of your friends to have any knowledge of your feelings for Colby. And thank God for her; if you didn’t have her to gush about Colby to, you probably would have either exploded or died. Or both. And she was there for every single second of it. She loved hearing about your movie nights, your urban exploring adventures, the sweet yet mundane things he would do to make you happy, literally anything. She ate that shit up like a man starved, and you did the same for her and Sam (regardless of the fact that their relationship was public already). You hadn’t told her explicitly about the nature of your relationship with Colby, really just gushed about your ever-growing love for the boy. Unbeknownst to you, she firmly believed that you only had feelings for Colby, clueless to the fact that the two of you had actually been dating for quite a while now. With her “go get ‘em, tiger” comments, along with similar remarks, you assumed that she had some sort of idea about your relationship with Cole, hence why you had never explicitly told her about your secret boyfriend. Kat, being the good friend that she was, never spilled your “secret” feelings to anyone else. Not even her boyfriend.

Eventually, quarantine started up amidst the international COVID-19 pandemic and you had begun practically living with the trap boys. A day without you in the house was enough to prompt concern for the boys, minus Colby who always knew the real reason why you weren’t coming over. This soon became the new normal, you taking a “day off” every few weeks to get tested just in case. At this point, it was almost comical that no one had figured out you two were dating yet.

One particular weekend afternoon, everyone in your friend group was hanging out at the house. You and Colby were sitting on opposite sides of the room, you next to Kat and Colby seated beside Sam. It was particularly warm today seeing as this Saturday landed smack in the middle of the infamous August heat wave, so you had thrown on a tank top and some shorts, nothing to flashy. Colby had dressed similarly, wearing only a muscle tee and a pair of trunks.

You were sat beside Kat, the both of you trying to listen to the story Devyn was telling. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t ignore the way your boyfriend was staring at you from across the room. You looked away from Dev for just a second to shoot him a glare when you realize exactly why he’s looking at you. The speed at which the blood rushes to your face is dizzying, and you drop your head to stare at your lap. Motherfucker- You sigh as you pull your phone out of your pocket. “Quit it with the blowjob eyes asshole,” you type before pressing the blue send button.

You feel his gaze break as his phone vibrates. Trying to ignore him, you refuse to meet his gaze again, putting all of your effort into focusing on Devyn’s story. Seconds later your phone vibrates in your pocket. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” the screen reads, and you shake your head.

“Uh huh sure ok.” You pressed send again.

Another few seconds passed and your phone vibrated again. “That shirt looks really good on you.” 

You blushed as you read the message, flustered by the comment. Brows knitting together in confusion, you looked up to find him staring back at you with a dopey grin. You hunched over your phone and sent a message back. “You really think so?”

“Yeah, of course,” Colby replied, a gray typing bubble sitting under the message. “But you know how it would look cuter?”

You cocked your head to the side and typed out your response. “How?”

“On my bedroom floor.” You almost snorted at that, clamping a hand over your mouth to prevent any noise from escaping. Typical. Thankfully no one had been paying enough attention to you to notice that you were distracted.

Colby, on the other hand, wasn’t so lucky. “Give me this, dude,” Sam said, snatching the phone out of Colby’s hand and effectively bringing the conversation on their side of the room to a halt. “You haven’t been listening for like the past 20 minutes, dude. Now let’s see what’s got you so distracted.”

“You don’t need to look at that, Sam, it’s not that important-” The tall brunette sounded slightly panicky as he reached and grappled with Sam for his phone. Sam played around for a little bit before finally reading the screen, eyes widening in amusement.

Upon finishing his reading, Sam lowered the phone and Colby relaxed, already knowing that he was caught. “So who’s ‘angelcakes,’ huh Colbert?” Sam prodded teasingly.

Colby blushed ever so slightly, rubbing the back of his neck. “They’re just a friend-”

“Which friend, huh?” Sam continued his teasing, growing louder and louder with every response until all eyes were on the two boys.

Colby shrugged, trying to be nonchalant but looking more stressed than ever in actuality. “Just a friend.”

“What do you say we call this friend, huh boys?” Sam suggested.

Kevin nodded, agreeing. “I think we definitely should.” Brennen also nodded when Sam looked to him for approval, essentially finalizing the decision.

“Okay then, let’s do this thing!” Sam yelled, earning cheers from all the other curious folks in the room. The blonde boy pressed call and Colby simply held his face in his hands.

You jumped when your phone rang, honestly having forgotten that oh shit, I’m angelcakes. Everyone turned to look at you curiously, Colby even peeking through his fingers. You didn’t even pick up the device, already knowing whose name would be lighting up the screen. “You gonna pick that up or something?” Corey asked awkwardly.

You shook your head, leaving your phone face down in its spot beside your thigh. “No, it’s probably not important anyways.”

A beat of heavy silence passed before Tara spoke. “Gee, they sure aren’t giving up. Maybe you should answer it.”

“Nah, I’m sure it’s just-”

“Yeah, you should answer the phone, Y/N,” Jake agreed, the pieces seeming to click in his head.

You sighed, burning bright red to the tips of your ears. “Okay okay, fine.” You stood and clicked the answer button. “Hello?”

And there it was, your voice echoing from Colby’s phone. The room erupted in cheers of disbelief, the boys pouncing on Colby and the girls slapping you in playful excitement. “I knew there was something going on between you two!! There’s no way there couldn’t have been -- I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” Kat squealed, smushing you in a hug.

The rest of the girls echoed the sentiment, a chorus of ‘same’s and ‘I can’t believe you’s. It took a while for everyone to calm down but, once everyone settled, you and Cole managed to get some alone time. The two of you escaped out back, the less than mediocre breeze cooling the sweat that slicked your skin. You held each other, almost as though you were about to start slow dancing. “Damn, caught red handed, huh?”

You laughed breathily, leaning your forehead against his shoulder. “It was only a matter of time, ya know?”

“I know,” he agreed, cheek pressing against your hair. “I’m glad we don’t have to be weird around them anymore.”

“Me too,” you hummed.

Colby pulled away a little bit, just enough for him to look you in the eyes, your arms still around his neck. “Hey.”

You giggled, confused. “Hey.”

“I love you.”

You smiled your confirmation, eyes twinkling under the cheap backyard lights. “I love you.”

.x

[imagineteamfreewill]

Here’s to Witches

Title: Here’s to Witches

Pairing: Reader x Sam

Word Count: 1,331

Warnings: None

Summary: Sam and the reader are each gifted something after saving a group of housewives on a hunt, and Sam’s gift is exponentially more... enthusiastic than the reader’s.

A/N: This is completely unedited, so please excuse any mistakes. If you see any glaring ones, please feel free to (politely) send me an ask or a message so I can go in and fix it. The gifs that inspired this fic can be found at the end because I thought they were too cute to not include. Also, feedback makes the world go round and makes my blog a lot more enjoyable for everyone! Please reblog this fic with your thoughts or send me an ask or a message to tell me what you think. Enjoy!

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“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this happy,” you said as you leaned against the dresser. The knobs dug into the small of your back and your shoulders but you ignored them as Sam looked up at you with a wide smile.

“I just can’t believe this is real,” he replied.

Bones jumped up on his hind legs, pushing himself slightly off the floor as he tried to regain Sam’s full attention. He succeeded and you couldn’t help but laugh at the way Sam raised the pitch of his voice to talk to his new—or rather, old—furry friend.

“You know, when the witch said she’d brought back someone dear to your heart, I figured we’d come back to the motel to find Bobby or something.”

Sam glanced up at you again, his smile undimmed. “I didn’t think it would be Bones either, but honestly…”

Smiling, you moved away from the dresser to see if your phone had regained some battery. It had died on the way back from the abandoned winery where the coven had been holding its meetings. Thankfully, you hadn’t needed it to call for help. The coven was more domestic than anything you’d ever encountered on a hunt; the witches mostly used their magic to bring dead houseplants back to life, get the smell out of laundry they’d forgotten in the washer, and thaw meat that they’d taken out of the freezer an hour or two too late. You’d been in the midst of trying to figure out how to ask them to stick with what they knew when the real troublemakers had shown up, figurative guns blazing, in an attempt to harm the housewives who were in almost too deep. 

You and Sam had eradicated the bad witches with relative ease and the handful of women had been so grateful to you that they’d put their collective energies together to give you each a gift. They’d given you something you’d thought long gone—a box of photos from your childhood—and they’d promised Sam something “dear to his heart”. 

After unlocking your phone, you quietly placed an order for a few pizzas, knowing that Sam was probably starving after the busy day you’d had. You were about to press the submit button when something bumped against your leg.

“I think he likes you,” Sam said, and you looked down to find Bones sitting at your feet. He was giving you a heart-warming doggy smile and his tail was going a mile a minute. It was almost comical how hard he was trying to sit despite the fact that his butt was wiggling right along with his tail.

You chuckled and crouched down to run your hand over Bones’ back. “Hey buddy! Are you hungry too? Is that why you came over here?” you cooed. Your voice jumped up an octave, just like Sam’s had, but Bones responded quickly and was up in your face as he tried to get as much of your attention and touch as possible.

Sam laughed too, standing up and stretching his arms above his head while he watched. He was clearly enjoying having Bones around and in the back of your mind, you sent up a silent prayer that this wasn’t a temporary thing. If Bones was ripped away from him, it would be a heartbreaking loss. Sam had already suffered so much and you wanted to ensure as much as you could that when he wasn’t on a hunt, he was happy and comfortable.

“You want some pepperoni, Bones? Huh?”

The dog yipped in response and you grinned, then stood. You quickly placed the order on your phone while Bones tried to get more attention from Sam. 

“Pizza should be here in about an hour,” you said, and Sam nodded. “So what do we do now? Think Dean’ll be okay with Bones being at the bunker? And in the Impala, for that matter?”

Sam shrugged. Bones was standing on the bed now so that Sam could pet him without having to sit down or bend over.

“Okay, well maybe we should pick up supplies before we get back,” you suggested. “That way, Dean can’t say it would be easy to get rid of him. And we should probably make an appointment with the vet in town, too…”

You pulled out your phone again, but as you were starting to research the veterinarian offices in Lebanon, you felt Sam’s eyes on you. Slowly, you glanced up from your phone and met his gaze.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Sam answered, shaking his head with a smile. “I’m just happy.”

“Okay… Weirdo.” You went back to the website. After another minute or two, you still felt Sam’s eyes on you and you sighed, dropping your hand down to your side so you could fully look at him. “What? Why are you staring at me, Sam?” The question came out with a laugh and Sam’s smile widened.

“I don’t know. I’m just… happy. I’m happy that you’re okay with this,” he said.

“Why wouldn’t I be? You love him and I think having a dog would be great.”

"Well I knew you liked dogs, but the last time we talked about getting one, you said that you didn’t think it would be a great idea. What changed?”

Shrugging, you tucked your phone in your pocket and went over to them, making sure to start petting Bones immediately so you wouldn’t get licked in the face again. You pointedly avoided making eye contact with Sam, instead focusing on the retriever who was practically vibrating with happiness at all the attention he was getting from the two of you.

“Honestly? I don’t know,” you answered. “I guess it’s because I don’t want you to have to give him up, you know? I like to see you happy, and Bones makes you happy. He makes me happy, too,” you added, knowing that Sam would call you out on it if you didn’t.

Sam hummed in response, and the two of you continued to pet Bones in silence, only occasionally laughing or talking to the dog when it felt right. 

An hour later, you were setting up the pizza while Sam took Bones outside for a break. The dog had come with his own collar—thank you, witches!—but he’d had to find a rope in the trunk of the Impala to use as a leash.

“It smells good!” Sam said as he opened the door and stepped inside. You glanced over at him with a smile, then laughed when you saw Bones pulling at the makeshift leash to get nearer to the table. When Sam dropped it, he made a beeline for the pizzas and you had to quickly shove him back down onto all four legs so that your dinner didn’t come with a side of dog hair.

“Whoa, buddy! Easy, calm down! You’ll get your dinner soon enough!”

Sam was grinning from ear to ear and you grinned back, feeling the contagious joy bubble up inside of you.

“Pepperoni?” he asked, and you nodded, grabbing the little container full of slices they’d included and holding it out for him. Bones tracked the movement intently and you laughed again as Sam grabbed it and pulled off the lid.

Instantly, Bones was sitting down, his tail wagging as he stared up at Sam.

“Well, at least he knows to sit,” you laughed. Sam laughed too, and soon the three of you were chowing down on your respective dinners.

We’re like a little family, you thought as you settled down beside Sam against the headboard. You’d both torn the top of the pizza boxes off so that the box was easier to hold in your lap, and he’d turned on a mindless movie while you’d made sure Bones had water. 

“Here’s to happy endings,” Sam said, holding out his beer.

You clinked yours against it with a smile, then a quiet chuckle. “And here’s to witches, which is something I’d never thought I’d say!”

(Gifs are by @frodo-sam​ can be found here. I couldn’t find them in the tumblr gif search or I would have included them that way, sorry!)

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Forever, Sam, Dean, Cas, Deaf!Reader, Words Series (Multiple Pairings/Characters), Home Series (Reader x Marine!Sam) - Unposted, From The Dead Series (Reader x Soldier!Dean), Consort Series (Goddess!Reader x Dean), Sam x Meg 2.0, Blog/Series Updates, and Drabble Days/Writing Events

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[tundrainafrica]

Note: Instead of posting a meta or a fic today, allow me to take a quick break from that because I think I really need to appreciate some people here and the fandom overall.  

February 7, 2021. 

Today, I turned 24 and my boyfriend surprised me with a gift I think I’ll be taking to heart for a very long time. 

The story behind the gift was as precious (or even more precious) as the gift itself and I thought I’d share it since it turned out some content creators were involved in this gift and I very much want to express how much this gift has defined this day for me and will place my 24th birthday as one of those birthdays I don’t think I’ll ever forget. 

Apparently, I had casually dropped both my tumblr and my ao3 account during one of our conversations and somewhere around November he had started looking through my bookmarks, my posts on tumblr and some of my interactions with people in the fandom.

I should have seen it coming. It had started with my boyfriend suddenly asking about my hyperfixation with Levihan.

Sav? Shipping? Sav? Binge reading ships and meta posts? Sav? Gushing about a fictional ship?

And I remember gushing about this with my seemingly uninterested boyfriend a long night after explaining what was oddly the most out of character thing for someone like me. 

I was sharing with him my metas and hcs and maybe, I was dropping a few of my favorite quotes along the way and it turned out he was interested. Suddenly he was asking me about my favorite fics, my favorite scenes. Suddenly, he was rereading my favorite fics with me and a few times, he was quoting those same scenes. I did find out he was looking through my blog when I got a random message from a really sketchy tumblr telling me to open my facebook. 

I suspected a few times that he could be planning something. December passed with nothing and eventually he stopped asking so I clocked that as a fevered dream or unnecessary assuming on my end and didn’t think too much of it after. 

It turned out my boyfriend had messaged my favorite authors about their fics and he commissioned one of my favorite artists (if not my favorite) to draw a few photos and bound them into a Levihan Anthology 

And it feels fucking amazing to receive something like this. To get Levihan which helped me through the worst of 2020, bound forever as a book I can just open up and read anytime. And I guess tearing up at receiving such a gift had me thinking of a lot of things at once (which were always at the back of mind) but I thought of sharing now. 

The past year wasn’t easy. Actually. don’t think it’s an understatement to say this past year was dog shit. With the covid pandemic and all plans after that cancelled, I’m sure we can all agree we had our ups and downs. 

I had a lot of my own plans completely thrown out the window for numerous reasons. I had plans of going to law school part time while building a career. And, I got a job right after college to make these plans come true. In September the law school I got accepted to (after working so damn hard the past year to get accepted) denied my appeal for night classes. I decided to drop my enrollment to focus on my career. A week later, my job laid me off. 

And for once in my life, I wasn’t going anywhere. And I lived in a house where everyone was always doing something and as soon as I lost my job I was pressured to find another one. But as we all know, searching for a job during this pandemic isn’t easy. I was still reeling after having dropped my enrollment just to focus on my job only to lose that job the week after with no prior notice. Everyone around me was busy doing their own thing. I had no one to talk to and for a while, I was falling into this pit of depression. 

My days consisted of me hiding under the covers of my bed in between the few interviews I would take day to day. Around that time, I decided to binge watch Attack on Titan as well 

I was never one to get hyper fixated in ships. In fact, this was the first ship since Royai and Victuuri which I have been so passionate. And this is a whole new level of passion. I think this is the first time I’ve ever written so much in this small amount of time. It was slow going. Just like Levi and Hange’s relationship, my fixation with this ship was a slowburn. 

Those days alone, I was reading fanfiction by the bundle, I was scrolling through the Levihan tag like a simp, leaving kudos in ao3 on a throwaway account and just scrolling through random people’s tumblr accounts. 

What happened during the one month? And when I was alone, sad, lonely and stagnant with no one to talk to, when everyone around me was living their own lives, all I had alone in the bedroom was Levi and Hange’s stories to keep me company between interviews. 

And the meta analyses and headcanons I had about their relationship were teaching me things. They were teaching me that life was never about how quickly you progress or how far you go. Maybe the real winners in life are the ones who can build good relationships, build relationships so mutually satisfying they keep each other growing and in those few moments reading, headcanoning ships, I did realize, maybe even as stagnant as I was at that moment, my life wasn’t dogshit. 

No one’s life is dogshit for a few small bumps along the way. Sometimes it just is part of the process of growing, learning to get past the worse, learning to manage relationships. And maybe it’s these relationships which make life worth living. Maybe it’s these struggles depicted in these stories and the bounce back. Maybe it’s the love, the life, the emotions so carefully described and depicted in every single story which makes life, life. 

With every single fic I read and every single fan art I scrolled through. Levihan was teaching my things about love, loss and life. 

Sometimes, these fandoms are the things which can catch people before they fall too low into something. These works and stories authors and artists shared so generously were what pulled me out of this state and are what inspired me to explore this relationship for all the potential its worth and maybe share my own stories and headcanons which people may learn a thing or two from or maybe just find some comfort and hope in.  

And these inspirations eventually evolved to writing. Writing 10,000 words in a day in between three interviews? I never was a writer but somehow, I found myself spending hours exploring the themes of love, loss and life with our favorite pairing 

I didn’t start writing out of nowhere. I didn’t start making metas out of nowhere. I needed the right inspiration, the right content to get me into this point where I could continue writing, reading, meta-ing, appreciating, headcanoning and everything in between.

And I just wanted to express my gratefulness to every single person in the fandom who had made it possible for me to pull out of that blackhole. Fandoms are underrated and I believe there are so many lessons which can be learned from the right content and from the right people. 

To the people who so willingly went along with my boyfriend’s little project: 

@faerielleart​ I saved A LOT of your art and they’re sitting in my google photos under a folder called Levihan and maybe I did share a few of your photos (the cheeks one and the beast titan one and the les miserables) ones to my boyfriend unsolicited just to show him how beautiful Levihan can be. Thank you so much for these beautiful drawings.

@lizaloveslevihan​ You were one of the first people I talked with in this fandom and dreams really was one of those stories that fucked me up a little bit, had me make a few misses on the commute on the way home one day but maybe it did have me explore the angst genre a little more, maybe it did have me explore Levi’s character a little more. 

@ariadneamare​ YELLOW. OH GOD. You know those letters? The ones which Hange left Levi at the end of the story? I ended up copying and pasting them and sending them to my boyfriend right after reading and I remember talking to him about this. We might be facing that same type of story in the future and I guess that ended up becoming a lot of foundation of our discussion and I guess, it’s just proof that there is so much to learn from fanfiction. There’s just so much to explore and fanfiction as a genre just does not get the credit it deserves.

@fanmoose12​​ I was exploring your works even before I started this tumblr up again. Maybe it was even your works which got me building my own headcanons from Levihan and writing from there. And I think I did leave a few anonymous messages telling you how I started exploring other genres because of your fics. Your works got my out of my dark place, it got me exploring a lot of other genres and for that I’m eternally grateful.

And somehow, my boyfriend picked that all up from late night discussions and one-on-one metas. Surprisingly, he wasn’t just playing along to humor his girlfriend. He was exploring the themes of love, life, loss and Levihan right along with me. (And got spoiled about Hange’s death along the way… Oops.) 

And I am eternally grateful for that and I made sure to shower him with a lot of kisses after he kept me in the loop with what has been going on these past few months with his sudden interest in Levihan.

And this huge thank you goes out to all content creators (authors, artists, gif creators, shitposters alike). Sometimes you never know who’s thinking about your work, who’s shoehorning your works and quoting them to their best friends. Sometimes, you never will find out but your work had pulled someone out of a blackhole which they’ve been stuck in and sometimes you never know that your work has been that seemingly small thing that had taught them a lesson in love, life or relationships. Sometimes, that one work turned out to be an inspiration which got them writing and sharing their own stories or making their own drawings

And I guess, the point is, keep writing. Keep drawing. Keep sharing pouring your love, passion and emotions into works of art because you never really know whose heart you touched or whose life you changed.

I have a job now. I decided to push law school a few years back and maybe take the time to work on myself now and maybe spend the next months or maybe years writing metas and fanfictions. I was pulled out of my hole. I was inspired. I have my own stories to tell and I don’t think I would have been here if I hadn’t spent the last few months reading fic after fic, meta after meta, appreciating art after art, 

So anyway, I just wanted to share some pics of my favortie fics, immortalized in one anthology, all organized by my boyfriend. And I think he made some great decisions with these.

(Bookbinding credits to @mayerwien)

[susuwatari-kompeito]

Gifmaker Appreciation Tag

I was tagged by the wonderful @baoshan-sanren for this blog! Thank you so much for the tag it means a lot to me. 💜 I love all your content, and I’m sending love and appreciation back at you! 

LINK A GIFSET…

Link a gifset you’re really proud of:

I am really proud of this Gu Xiang x Cao Weining gifset. It was the first time I used a moving ink overlay and my first time using song lyrics. Making it was really fun for me because I used lyrics from one of my favorite songs and it was a challenge choosing scenes and putting everything together. 

Link a gifset where you tried something new:

I’ll chose this Howl’s Moving Castle x Word of Honor gifset. It was my first time trying out the handwriting effect. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be, it was just tedious. 

Link a gifset that features your favourite character or celebrity:

My most favorite fictional character is Jiang Cheng, so I’ll share this Twin Prides set I made. I like him across all adaptations so I think its also fitting that I included some donghua scenes in that set.

I’ve giffed only one of my favorite celebrities, so I’ll share this set of Wang Yibo as Lan Wangji ft. Lan Xichen. (Liu Haikuan is also a great actor!) 

Link a gifset that you want more people to see:

I guess this Nirvana in Fire edit? (Caution NiF spoilers.) I think I’ve improved a lot since I made that set, but its one of my favorite scenes from the drama so I hold that set close to my heart.

Link a gifset that you had fun making:

This other Nirvana in Fire edit! I got the idea while rewatching the episode, and really wanted to make it. The execution didn’t turn out exactly how I wanted it to, but I liked working with the scenes. 

Link a gifset that you created as part of a meme, challenge, or series:

I’m currently working on a “50 days, 50 episodes” series for The Untamed. I know it’ll take me more than 50 days to complete it because of a couple breaks I took, but anyway, here is the most recent edit from that series. 

Link a gifset of yours that makes you smile:

I think I’m going to have to go with this Scumbag System edit. Its nothing fancy, but BingQiu is my current second-most favorite ship. So thinking about them makes me happy, and there’s something about SY!SQQ’s chaotic-ness that I love. 

Link a gifset that you made for someone else:

I made this Wei Wuxian + outfits set for @lethes! It was a fun challenge because I wanted to find a happy medium between showcasing both WWX’s robes and capturing fun/notable scenes. 

TAG SOMEONE WHO…

Tag someone who inspired you to start making gifs:

I started becoming more active on Tumblr in late 2020 ever since watching The Untamed but I was only a reblogger at that time. @mylastbraincql was one of the first CQL blogs I followed and I had always admired her gifs and really wanted to make some of my own.

Tag someone who makes great vibrant gifs:

@lan-xichens  @gusucloud @blinkplnk @sugarbabywenkexing @claudiablack @wuxien @surii @theyilinglaozus

Tag someone who makes great pale/pastel gifs:

@linglynz @fengqing @luoqingyanq @wanyinxichen @wangxiians @cloudylotus 

Tag someone who gifs for a fandom you love:

Everyone tagged here! 

Tag someone who uses text/typography really well in their gifsets:

@leonzhng @yibobibo @wendashanren @morifiinwe @rinielle 

Tag someone who motivates you to step up your game:

Honestly all the gifmakers that I reblog from and follow. Everyone is so creative in their own way that it motivates me to always improve.

Tag someone who you have taken inspiration from:

I’ve taken inspiration from many creators who I’ve already tagged above, but I want to give a mention to @purplexedhuman who helped me with a bunch of things that I wanted to try out.

Tag gif makers who you admire and appreciate! (Put as many people here as you want!):

@wangxianbunnydoodles @agendratum @stormbreaker @highwarlockkareena @nyx4 @lanzhanshands @xueyangs-pinky-finger @baek1nho @xiaodaozhang @inessencedevided @elysean @yiling-recesses @mieczyslaf @aheartfullofjolllly @wei-gege @sugardaddyahxu @xiaosean @sarawatsaraleo @sugarbabywenkexing @aowyn

I’m probably forgetting so many people, and I apologize. If you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged! <3 

[tarithenurse]

Stolen - 39

Fandom: MCU Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x fem!gifted!reader Content: Angst and threats. A/N: *hums innocently* Ask or re-blog for tag.

39. Tourniquet

... Loki   ...

Slipping unseen along the narrow passages reserved for the servants, Loki is steering towards the kitchens. His first thought had been to seek out Frigga and demand she tell him where his mortal is being kept...but at this hour she would likely be in the king’s company and even if she weren’t, the chances she would give him the desired information even now is minimal. Thankfully, servants have ears and eyes which they use eagerly during their tasks, soaking up a plethora of gossip to share when they meet.

A maid passes with a basket-full of dirty linen, providing the trickster with inspiration for a new disguise once she’s out of view.

Oh, how he misses the days when he could walk freely through the halls of Valhalla instead of hiding in the shadows. Admittedly, I did work unseen, Loki chuckles quietly by himself. The activities he had carried out changed as he grew up and his interests fluctuated, of course, but it had been his choice if he wanted to reveal himself to others. And I did it with a smile.

Narrow paths are converging as he nears the kitchens. The scent of roast meat simmering fills his nostrils – once more reminding him of days long gone, of feasts, of drinks shared in merry company – and as he steps into the realm of the cooks and scullions, he’s easily swept up by the efficiency of the people working hard. He grabs a rag and begins to dry off the dishes that have been washed.

“Even the prince looked shocked,” one maid stage whispers before heading up with a tray laden with silverware.

Wordlessly, Loki keeps his head low and listens to the gossip delivered by the servants who are going to and from.

“I heard Heimdal himself came to warn the All-Father,” a pimpled-faced youth causes the others to gasp in concern, “but queen Frigga already knew.”

A broad woman, still holding a butchering knife in one hand, slaps the back of the boy’s head. “Ha! Of course she did!” Turning back to her work, she keeps praising the All-Mother for her wits and the boy begins to relax until she suddenly whirls around again. “So don’t you go get any funny ideas, lad, you hear me? If you slack or cheat, it will be known.”

“Ye-no, madam!” he sputters in terrified confusion of what the right answer might be.

“Listen to her, Yngve,” one of the cooks concurs with a smirk under his moustache, “she’s worked here longer than any...she’d know from experience.”

“Ow, piss off,” she sneers but still sends the man a kiss. “All I’m saying’s you don’t want to risk the All-Father storming off to find you the way he marched towards the upper chambers.”

Loki’s ears perk at this, recalling the staff housing to the north in the castle.

Tugged away from the sun’s rays and with nothing by the barracks and a wall to look at, these rooms are used for the distinguished servants who deserve more than the shared dormitories below ground.

“How do you know how he was going?” the cook challenges.

With a huff and a thunk, she decapitates a pheasant. “I’ve got it on good authority: Ida, who had heard it from Pernille, told me.”

Weather or not the source is reliable, it’s as good a place as any to begin the search...presuming that the Midgardian hasn’t been tossed into a cell. Frigga had refused to share the information with her adopted son, claiming that he would do something reckless or foolish if he knew.

Oh mother...you have no idea to which extend I will go for this woman.

...   Reader   ...

You’re not keen on waking. Mind clinging stubbornly to the velvety calm as you hope you will be allowed to continue sleeping. But the voice calling out is insistent and rough hands have grabbed you by the shoulders, shaking you too roughly to ignore.

“Wake, mortal,” Odin’s voice roars straight in your face, startling you.

Thor’s voice breaks in. You can’t quite catch what he’s saying yet but you welcome the shift in hands as he holds you more gently, tilting you into a sitting position and allowing you a look at the scene unfolding around you.

Several guards are standing on alert, weapons pointed at you as if needing a deterrent to stop you from doing anything sudden.

The king has stepped back. Angry isn’t the right description of him. Standing with arms crossed arms and a scowl on the face, it’s his presence that makes the air in the room vibrate with the held-back force of a fire.

There’s another man whom you’ve only seen once before but not is the first time you instinctively know that he possesses a kind of magic that’s slightly different from the other Asgardians. His golden eyes glow like suns and seem to be the only parts of him showing any sort of emotion because he’s standing immobile, hands resting on the hilt of a large sword that’s balancing on its tip. Heimdal.

“Lady [Y/N],” Thor coaxes your attention back to himself, “what did you do?”

What did I...? You’re not sure how to answer that question. It certainly hadn’t been your intention to cause trouble, knowing how any inconvenience to the king of Asgard would mean a pain of problems for your plan.

“I...I didn’t mean to...” You look up at the blond god, not bothering to hide your fear. “What was...I felt lonely and I ju-just wanted -” tears begin to well in your eyes and you hear how small your voice sounds -”s-singing makes me-me-me feel better. W-what have I done?”

“Claiming innocence won’t help you, mortal.” Odin’s words crack like a whip, causing you to wince.

Thor, of course, notices. Eyes narrowing in concern before he speaks up, his gaze still locked on yours. “It is no secret, father, that she is still learning to control and understand her powers. I, for one, trust that this was unforeseen by her.”

“I must agree with the prince, All-Father,” Heimdal butts in quietly, “though the consequences will be dire.”

What consequences? “Please, what hap-”

“Silence!” You don’t dare oppose the king right now, so you shut up and shrink against Thor’s wide frame. “Do not test me. You come to my realm...you’re offered graces beyond any other mortal...and you repay me  by commanding an army to rise against me? ME!?” Spittle flies into his beard and a vein is bulging dangerously by the eye patch.

Your only answer is a squeaky little “what?”

[a-lil-perspective]

I have been silent for some time now. I have refrained from exhibiting any plaguing thoughts that might warrant me the label of “that person”, but I’m at the point where I’ve had my fill.

Ramble under the cut so as to not... offend or inconvenience anyone. There’s absolutely no obligation to read this. It’s Tumblr. You can block/ignore me. The option to do so is readily accessible.

I’ve been a Bad Batch fan since day one. While I didn’t start creating that very same day, it was relatively close. Point being, I’m a long-time dedicated fan. As the premiere to their series draws closer, I feel like there is going to be a great shift, rift here. That being said, I figured now is as good a time as any to make this post.

I love those boys beyond words. They’ve been the one constant in my life amidst a rapid and debilitating change. I love getting to give them life, even if my interpretations aren’t the most accurate.

Yes, I am a new Writer and yes, I am new to Tumblr, as I am sure both of those things are painfully apparent.

I get that it is impossible to please everyone. It’s something I’m learning more and more with each passing day. It’s something that gets harder to swallow, even more so.

I’d like to say that being here has been a largely positive experience, with all of these great connections and opportunities. But honestly? It’s been more isolating than anything. I’ve actually never felt more isolated than since I joined a year ago.

As a content creator or even just a general blogger, I don’t ask for much. I don’t ask for anything, in fact. I consider myself very low maintenance. I don’t demand/harass/play the martyr for reblogs. I have never mentioned it once, and never will. Some people on here are so damn passive-aggressive about it, and quite frankly, it’s embarrassing. It’s very stigmatizing. While I completely understand the frustration surrounding the like-to-reblog ratio, I think it’s neither tasteful nor reputable to threaten to call people out for not reblogging your fics. I wish I could say I was joking on that one. But I’ve seen it profoundly. Not cool.

And yet, no one says anything or raises any concern there.

Yet I make metas, harmless rambles, and I get shot down? Seriously?

—I need to “chill”, it’s “overkill”, I’m “overthinking”. I and my content are apparently just so damn arduous to interact with.

If you don’t like me, please just move on. There are plenty of other Bad Batch creators for you to enjoy. You know that. My work is absolutely not the final say, and I’ve never claimed it to be.

What is so wrong, with sharing one’s thoughts? Why do people inherently have a problem with other’s creative efforts? I see it time over again. Why do I feel like if I was making a bunch of smutty posts it wouldn’t be as much of a problem, that it in fact would be infinitely more welcome? (Absolutely NO shade to people who create smut, okay? I’ve made my own share. I admire those bold enough to do so regularly. I absolutely love them. Please teach me your ways).

This ramble really has nothing to do with the most recent event regarding my contributions. Rather, it’s a culmination of experiences over the past several months that have brewed and festered to the point where I can no longer keep downplaying it.

Social media, at its core, is one big popularity contest. It always has been, it always will be. But I’m not here to win. That’s never been my objective. That’s not what I’m about. Surprise (or not), I am not a popular blog. Not by a long shot. I’ll never claim otherwise.

I don’t ask people to view/interact with my content, I’m not an activist, I can’t even fathom exuding that kind of confidence. Even though I, admittedly, crave it. I suspect I crave interaction as much as the next creator. It’s a nice feeling. Yet there’s never been any obligation for it, especially with me, so I don’t understand what the problem is. As I’ve said, there are ample ways for you to block/avoid me. It’s the internet. In this day and age, there’s no excuse for viewing anything you don’t want to.

I came here in the hopes of finding like-minded individuals, uplifting and interacting, and exercising some otherwise stunted creativity.

All Tumblr as taught me is that creating and contributing is largely a thankless, empty endeavor. You can give and give and give and be reduced to nothing. There’s a profound imbalance between “giving” and “receiving”, and in regards to both ends of the scale, it’s became apparent to me that if you don’t cater heavily and in unreasonable degrees or get “noticed” by a popular blog, you get nothing, and your efforts are null and void.

Truthfully? I constantly feel like I walk on eggshells here, and it’s all I can do to not crack under the pressure, even though it’s my blog and my headspace. I should feel comfortable and free to express myself here, and I don’t, and I’m unsure of how to achieve that sense of stability. To be completely honestly I feel like a constant bother and a nuisance. When I post, I literally feel like there is a collective eye-roll that comes with people receiving a notification from my blog. Even though I know, rationally, that can’t be true, that’s an absurd level of thinking. I can’t say I can pinpoint exactly where it stems from.

But regardless: I hardly ever talk about/create the things I actually want. I only recently just got ballsy enough to share some metas, and we all know how well that’s going. I try not to have smut out of respect for my asexual/minor mutuals, even though the tag to blacklist is very much an option. I try not to bring up conflicting topics, Tumblr, political, or otherwise, even though with proper tagging I could. But I try not to even bring that into existence. Even though it’s my right to, I don’t.

I don’t actually feel like I fit into any narrative here, especially in the Bad Batch fandom; even though we are all basically the same steadfast group of bloggers. We all know who we are. We all coexist in the same space. It’s nearly impossible to be unaware of each other, at this point.

And yet, I’m not in a bunch of Discord servers or backed by a team of beta readers and all that jazz. It’s basically just me talking to myself out here. It’s very isolating.

Part of that—most of it—is my own crippling social anxiety, and the genuine belief that I don’t deserve to be in the same space/servers as all of these brilliant creators. Because I’m just me, and there’s not a whole lot of value there. With that mindset, it’s hard to actually feel like I belong anywhere. I know that is a mindset I have to conquer alone.

My excitement over my creations has largely dwindled into nothing. I seldom ever bounce my ideas off of others—another issue that stems from the fear of presenting as a burden—and even though I try to write for myself, even that fire has pretty much died out. I’m not even sure how or if I could even reignite it, at this point. It’s really quite sad. It makes me very sad, actually. All I wanted was to safely ramble, project all my thoughts and creativity that has otherwise been repressed through prolonged detrimental circumstances.

More than anything, I wanted to find and hold onto something that makes me feel useful, meaningful, happy. More and more I wonder if that’s even possible. I don’t think it is, not here. I often wonder if joining and sharing on Tumblr was a horrible mistake. I miss the innocent joy of when I first started creating. It was so simple. I’m trying to find that simplicity again.

But I’m burned out. I’m running on fumes. I have been for some time.

At this point it goes beyond just “taking a break” from Tumblr. It’s the fact that it all feels like this meaningless, monotonous cycle. I wonder every day if I am an isolated case in experiencing these emotions.

And yet, come tomorrow I will still be here, business as usual.

I’m not asking for sympathy or playing the victim or attacking anyone or trying to guilt-trip into more interaction. I am very aware of my shortcomings and incorrect mindsets. I’m just trying to make sense of it all. I feel very disconnected from everyone here and it’s lonely. This took a lot for me to share. I will most likely delete this because anxiety will eat me up, as it does with everything I post. Yes, everything.

[unproblematicme]

I’m not a name in The Magnus Archives fandom. This is just a Good Omens Blog and TMA is a side interest of mine. Nevertheless, I have friends in the TMA fandom.

One of them is @siliconealien

Now some people in the fandom are busy smearing her. Unfortunately, there are BNFs among them so unfortunately the attempts to discredit her get a lot of traction and often unquestioning support.

The latest accusation is that she stole the idea of a “Choose Your Own Adventure Game” she worked on very hard. It’s a bot she wrote that basically works like a TMA dating sim.

I’m not asking anyone to take a side (even though I did), this is fandom discourse and it is valid not to want to get involved. But I’m asking everyone before they reblog such accusations to consider some things:

That two TMA based games share characters and settings is not surprising. These are characters and settings of TMA. Unless you are Jonathan Sims, you do not own them.

CYOA games are very popular. They even were in the 80s when I was a kid. I dare say none of us here can claim to have invented them. (If I’m wrong and coincidentally the inventor of CYOA games reads this: please share your thoughts)

The formula of two Dating Sims being similar is – again – not surprising.

The accusation which came first was that she bans people from her server on a whim or because she dislikes them. I know firsthand that this is not true. I’m not an active member of the TMA community, but I am in the server and saw this go down. She initially banned one person for making others uncomfortable. This person then spread in other spaces Alien would ban people for having mental illnesses. Again, firsthand knowledge: Alien does no such thing.

To say she was not transparent about the ban is pretty unfair as well, since all information she withheld, she withheld to protect the banned person.

Alien is nothing if not fair. She will not lie to you, she will not coddle you, but if you don’t break the server rules, she will not kick you out – no matter if she is in love with you or hates your guts.

Everything else came after that drama. People who were butthurt after being warned on her server for various reasons (warned not banned!) - prior to the drama - saw their chance to get back at her.

So now the bot. Of which settings, characters, (again, all TMA) and plot were known. Yes, the official release was recently, but to server members its content was not new.

I highly suspect it is brought up now because the bullies are running out of mud to throw.

Yes, I said bullies. Because nothing else it is. Bullying. Even if you don’t believe what I wrote, there is nothing to justify such a pile on.

Even IF she unfairly banned people (WHICH SHE DID NOT): It is her server. You don’t get to bully someone for banning people from their own server.

She never made a secret of being inspired by the other bot. But now she is accused of Theft/Plagiarism which is just not true. You don’t get to bully someone for writing interactive fanfiction.

Alien herself released a statement on Twitter but has since then gone protected because of the harassment. I don’t know when she will ever go public again, but this is her side of the things:

https://twitter.com/siliconealien/status/1363968876313145344

Here is a shorter statement on her simpbot account:

https://twitter.com/simpbot11/status/1364518609373040642

Thanks to those who read this far. <3

[lovee-infected]

I'm about to start my own (twst) writing blog and I'm going around writers that I follow for some advice q*q could you give me any wisdom on what I should do when starting a writing blog? thank you!! I love your works and you're one of the writers that inspire me

Aa thank you baby I'm so happy to hear that I inspire you!! First off, good luck with the new writing blog! I'm glad that more authors are joining the fandom and wish you all the best with your works! 💞💖💞 Other than trying to keep your blog organized by creating a proper masterlist, choosing a suitable aesthetic, having a set of rules and making sure to tag all of the warnings and necessary mentions (gender of reader, n/sfw or trigger warning), I tried to come up with some useful advises that might help!

1) Keep up the great confidence!

First and the most important thing about a writing blog, is to be confident and strong. Look, you shouldn't be afraid of posting your works and sharing with the redt of the fandom, even as they're not as perfect as you want them to be. The more you write, the more you learn! And you'd grow to be better and better as you continue to share your works! Not even the greatest authors had been any perfect on their first days!

2) If you're accepting requests, try to set a limit

Being overwhelmed with asks is never pleasant, if you just open your inbox to face 500 requests you'd be to be terrified and confused and even lose your passion to work on any of them because of the stress and not knowing where to begin from. Try to set a limit based on your personal limits, how many requests do you think you can have at the time without stressing out because of how much they are? 10? 20? 50? 100? 200? Doesn't matter! If you feel like you're fine with huge numbers like 200 and 150, it's totally fine! If not, remember that setting a character limit would not only reduce the possible chance of stressing out and overwhelming anxiety but it'll also help you manage your inbox better and easier! You can start taking requests again just as soon as your inbox in cleared!

3) Try to treat yourself every once in a while!

Working on requests can be tiring and sometimes, boring. It's great if you enjoy working on requests no matter what they are but remember to write for your own pleasure every once in a while too!

Even if you have like 100 requests laying in your inbox, feel free to write self indulgent fics or something that you'd like to write even if it's super odd an irrelevant to your normal writings! Remember that you deserve to read something you enjoy just as much as the others do, so don't forget to bless yourself with that beautiful writing of yours ;) Remember that it's your blog, you are free to do everything that makes you happy or anything that you simply enjoy doing ^^

4) Remember that no matter what, toxicity always exists and it's not your fault

Look toxicity is very common to be found social medias, especially platforms like tumblr in which anonymous function exists. Even celebrities and world-famous artists might get attacked over pretty silly stuff every once in a while so it's something usual to happen! I wish you never receive any potentially harmful or rude asks or messages but if you ever do, best would be to block or simply ignore them! People in this platform can be ridiculous sometimes lol, there are people who DM creators just to spam hate and block the creator whom they spammed after wards lol, so don't even bother t waste your time with such people!

If anyone comes to your inbox/DMs/comments to say something harsh or leave a sharp critique, best would be to ignore them. Even if you like to answer or respond to reply to them tey to be chill and not take them seriously. Remember, even if they didn't like your content they could've just scrolled down without bothering to read your work, so if they had the guts to come and spam you with nonsense just because they didn't like your work, it's their fault! They didn't have to read, and it doesn't even matter if they liked your work or not! It's their problem and all, so remember not to let these kind of people get to you at all!

5) Take it easy with writing

Don't push yourself too hard, remember that not everything you write is supposed to be *perfect. This is even more serious when it comes to requests, thousands of unexpected ideas might pop up in your inbox and it makes it quite confusing to choose what to write or do!

First off, don't be any shy or anxious about rejecting the requests which don't follow your rules or come when you aren't accepting requests. Those who violate your rules aren't worthy of your time and work!

Secondly, keep this is mind that you aren't expected to be able to write everything! Sometimes the requests are hard to write, the idea seems odd or hard to understand, or sometimes you just don't feel comfortable or don't want to write it all, which is okay!

You always have the right to take/drop whichever of your requests and you don't owe anyone anything for this, it's your own blog, your work, and your content. Don't ever force yourself to write something which you don't like to write!

6) Your health is always the top priority

Remember that no matter how popular you are, how many followers you have, how many requests are left in your inbox or how much people are wishing to get more of your content, you're free to stop writing and put this wrong at a temporarily (or even permanent) hiatus.

Sometimes you just don't feel like writing, then don't write. If you feel like you're being too busy with work/family/school and anything please don't force yourself to write! Remember that your real life matters always come first!

Also, you might even need a break from writing without necessarily being really busy or sad, sometimes you just need to take a break from everything, and it's totally fine to do! Take as much time as you need and stay healthy during your breaks. It'd be even better if you don't even think of any new ideas/Aus while you're taking a break from writing so you can fully set your mind off stuff! Doesn't even matter if followers/readers are going to appreciate this or not, it's not about them, it's about you. Remember that your good readers/follwers who understand that authors are normal humans and not writing machines would surely understand if you need to take a break too!

7)Keep yourself motivated!

There might be days when you can and have the time to write, but something's holding you back. You feel like procrastinating over and over at some point lose the motivation to write. First off, that's a really normal matter to see as many of us have to struggle with laziness sometimes lol, but there are some useful tips to keep yourself Motamedi and hyped while you're planning to write! A bit of challenge would not only make it a lot more fun, but is also a good way to keep yourself motivated and inspired!

First, try prompt lists! They've always got plenty of useful ideas and inspirational quotes to use and are absolutely amazing to give you new ideas for a writing!

Second, try to challenge yourself by simple stuff like setting yourself word limits, trying to see how much you can write in an hour, use some suggested words in your stories (ex: Banana, train, knife, turkey) as a small challenge! You can also try small events (like milestone or holiday events) to celebrate on your blog with stuff like: Prompt list requests, CYOAs, character interaction and other new stuff that gives you a better motivation tp write instead of just having to work on the same, usual writing requests over and over.

Also, I suggest putting an specific hour for writing/ checking on your blog in your daily schedule as this is also a way of avoiding procrastination, instead of writing 10 requests a day and not writing anything for two weeks, try to set an schedule like writing 1-2 writings everyday! Remember to put your real life activities in the schedule too so you won't have to go through any trouble to find a balance between your real life and running a writing blog!

8) Remember the crediting/copyrights

I'm just adding this here because I can see quite a few of writers using uncredited art for their stories and it's been much and less of an issue lately ^^;

First off, the arts/headers used in your writing. Make sure not to use any uncredited card or anyone else's edit without their permission, otherwise it's nothing different from stealing the work from the original artst!

If you're going to leave a link to the artist, make sure to check on them and check if they allow reposts with credit or not. If they don't, don't use their art. If they do, make sure to give them a proper credit with a link to them! (:

Editors too on the other hand spend a very long time making their edits and and aesthetics, so not copying their work is just as important as not stealing art from the artsits!

Pinterest is filled with uncredited art and if there's a pinterest art who is not linked to the original artist, putting the empty pinterest pin link would be useless and steal counted as stealing art.

9) Stick with your own writing style!

Writing style is like signature, everyone's got their very own and unique writing style. From the way you portray characters to what elements you use as the story develops, you're totally different from each and every of other authors in this fandom!

You may sometimes wonder if your writing style is any good at all while you look at other creators writings and feel the difference, and I gotta say: It doesn't even matter what others are doing! All that is important, is you.

Don't try to change your style to become close another writer's style, your own style is great as it already is! Even if you aren't yet that experienced with writing and feel like your writing could be better, remember that your writing skills will indeed improve as you continue to write and read newer and newer stuff, so don't worry about it!

Each and every writing style has got its own beauty, not everyone may totally enjoy your style at first but and as you continue to write, you'd get to learn what makes people enjoy your writing even more or how you can attract new readers with your writings, your style will change for the better as you write!

Though it's totally fine if you feel like there are writers who inspire and motivate you, remember that you won't have to be them in order to improve! You don't need to be just like them to be great! Even if you do have some issues like being a non-native speaker which can make it quite hard for you to write, you'd automatically learn and have most of your errors fixed as the time passes. I made LOTS of mistakes in my first writings but I hardly ever make any mistakes now because I'm used to it! Though it was a bit late I finally recognized my mistakes and corrected them! And I'd continue to correct more of my mistakes as I continue to write!

10) It's very good to have different writer mutuals

This one is rather optional, just a small recommendation! Though there are many writers who might recommend this as a rather important factor for running a writing blog, I'd say that this isn't necessary as there are still well-known tumblr authors and even twst authors who gained attention to themselves on their own and not with the help and support of any mutuals or writer friends, so it isn't impossible to be successful even without having any mutuals!

The thing with having mutuals is that it makes everything easier. A totally new twst blog can gain around 100 followers on its first without even posting anything more than a writing and a list of rules only because of being supported and boosted by well-known blogs while a for normal blog without any support or boosting, it may take up to 2-3 weeks or even an entire month to gain that 100!

Also, getting to talk with different authors (especially those who are more experienced than you) is motivational and heartwarming, you can feel like you have a team to belong to. You can discuss different writing ideas/issues/blog chores with them and see what they may think. You can even have their support with new ideas if you feel stuck/unmotivated while writing a piece!

I didn't have any mutuals on my first days either and I admit that this made things a bit hard, but it didn't hold me back from continuing to write! Yet I admit that it's surely very useful to have a couple of writer friends around you whom you can share your ideas with! Mutuals support each other, reblog each other's works and give each other a better chance of having their works read by more users, which is quite amazing and helpful!

11) Go for it and don't give up!

Remember that no one, not even the greatest writing blogs have been perfect on their first days. They weren't well-known back then either! And they wouldn't have been any successful today without being hard-working and strong. Leaving up to the previous 10 rules is the hardest part of having a blog, and it's all about not giving up!

Do not try to judge your writing and talents based on the amount of notes your posts get or how many followers you have, because these aren't ever going to show your true worth and talents! But I assure you, if you continue to write even through your hard days, your unmotivated days and your sad days no matter how hard it's supposed to be, everything will change. The more you write, the higher the chance of having new people find and read your works would be! Keeping up the hard work and believing in yourself is the key to achieving anything you may wish for, even having a successful writing blog!

As you continue to write, you'll get more readers, more notes on your posts, more followers and more people who enjoy your content!

Hope that these are helpful, wish you all the greatest and good luck with your writing blog!!💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞

[theunconcernedembalmer]

what’s the issue with elisop? is it just bc you hc aesop as ace? im so concerned by seeing ppl adamantly opposed to mlm/wlw ships but im also genuinely curious about why you dislike it and other lgbt ships so much lol

hmm. that is a strong accusation, n i find it just a bit odd. are you new here? or perhaps you are taking personal offense at my dislike towards a favourite ship of yours and using the lgbt argument as moral high ground?

whatever the case may be, i thank you for asking. if u r truly looking for an answer, its below the cut n it is very very long. mind u these are all my personal opinions n i am in no way policing how others enjoy ships. just in case this wasnt clear; i dont wish to start discourse on this blog, especially since my takes are probably... unpopular.

firstly i would like to address the “disliking lgbt ships” bit, because this has very strong implications in itself. i have nothing against lgbt ships. i enjoy them, even. if the two characters have chemistry between each other, i ship it. however, the moment characterization is broken for the sake of romance, i lose interest. this is generally my stance on ships in general, n this applies for both straight n lgbt ships. 

the ships themselves are fine. however, i do have issues with the ship dynamics, so ill let u in on that.

i want to touch on mlm ships in particular; i believe u are familiar with the top/bottom dynamic that is rampant in these kinds of ships? (i wont deny that this dynamic can be found in other types of ships, but for arguments sake i will be focusing on gay ships because i feel that this occurs more commonly here) its such a popular dynamic that is prone to stripping the personality from one if not both characters, only for them to be reduced to being dominant/submissive. for a character to be pigeonholed into a stereotypical category based on... preferred sexual positions? its just downright insulting, never mind the larger more problematic implications of it. top/bottom is not indicative of someones personality, by the way. flattening multi dimensional characters into these stereotypes is so so so insulting.

unfortunately this is The Most Popular portrayal of just about any gay ship around. ive seen it being used everywhere in so many fandoms n it just about becomes apparent to me that ppl come to stories looking for a Ship. not the stories, nor the characters, just a ship. while id like to say theres nothing wrong with that, keep in mind not everyone is just looking for 2 characters that look pretty next to each other. if i ship something, i see interesting n meaningful interactions between 2 characters, which is so often not the case once u bring in the top/bottom dynamic. why is it so popular? because somehow this is what ppl like from a gay ship n hence it sells. ppl want the drama, characterizations be damned. ppl want to see the big kiss that happens in the end, n maybe the sexy parts that come after. characterizations be damned.

so u can say im a little wary of gay ships when they cross my feed. hell, as a joseph aesop shipper i see this trope everywhere n im pretty disappointed as well. small tangent but i feel like this is the reason why zh0ngli n ch1lde is so popular in g3nshin. i try to see the appeal, i really do, but after a long while of analyzing their respective characters i dont think they have as much chemistry as ppl think they do. dont even get me started on how incredibly ooc they make either of these very interesting n unique characters in ship portrayals. all because of the top/bottom dynamic that ppl want to see. i say this for that particular ship, but this is pretty much the case for a lot of ships out there, n the latter part is painfully true even when the 2 characters do have potential between each other. ill say it again im disgusted by the blatant disrespect to the characterizations if all ppl ever want is 2 pretty puppets to mush lips together. cos thats what theyre essentially reduced to this way.

n its so obvious to see when an artist subscribes to this rhetoric, because u can so clearly see it in the way they draw their characters. the “top” generally has sharper features to go with their “dominating personality”, while the “bottom” has disturbingly softer, feminine, dare i say sometimes child like features “to submit”. n thats where the uwu soft gay trope comes from, i believe. which, in case u still dont know, i hate with a burning passion.

so again for ppl with impaired reading comprehension, im fine with ships, including lgbt ones, but the moment u break characterization for the sake of the ship, im not that okay with it. u want to do it for a short crack comic? fine. but if thats the only way ur portraying the 2 characters then im immediately wary of ur content. ill still look at it cos usually the art is really good, but im very very wary. so im not “adamantly opposed”, just very critical of how the ships are being portrayed. if other ppl want to enjoy their ships like that, sure. just dont expect me to join in on something i dont agree on.

.

now id like to address not shipping “because i hc aesop as ace”. for ppl who are new to the blog (hello there), im an ace in a romantic relationship, so thats definitely not the reason i dont ship elisop. its more of being in a relationship has largely shaped my views towards romance as a whole. even before i met my boyfriend, i hated the romance genre in stories n media. most of it comes off as incredibly forced, especially those love triangles they seem to love putting into teen novels. thats one reason why i stopped reading when i was younger, but i digress.

did i partake in shipping when i was younger? i did. for a gay ship too (if anyone really wants to know, its kurotsukki from haikyuu. at least this was one that i can remember, i was mostly working on my 20 odd ocs for the longest time). i also used to write little short romance ficlets that i never posted anywhere cos i hated (n still do hate) my writing. but writing romance when u dont have experience was really just a way of projecting n probably a way of coping for myself, not that i knew at that time. but after i actually started a relationship with my boyfriend (whom i love n cherish a lot thank u very much), i began to see how much all these have skewed my views towards romance n have actually done some harm to our relationship. the bullshit that the general media feeds u constantly doesnt help in the slightest either.

quick topic shift to elisop in particular (about time, right?). i already stated that i only ship characters if i sense chemistry between the two personalities, n if u have seen the part where i dont ship elisop then u must have seen how agonized i am over not being able to have a concrete personality for eli. that is the main problem i have with elisop: eli does not feel like a solid character to me. n that is a huge problem, because if he doesnt have any defining characteristics besides being mild n nice, then he can be whoever i want him to be. (i have done this in my exorcist comics, i will admit this. n the fact that i can just do that... it really does not sit well with me personally.)

n that is dangerous.

back to young me doing lil ship things. i think its also pretty safe to say when u really do ship 2 characters, chances are u kinda really relate very very hard to at least one of them. that very quickly can turn into projecting, n shipping therefore is not “exploring the relationship between 2 characters” n it becomes “my preferred dating simulator 101″. of course this isnt always the case, but at least it was for me, n subconsciously it might be for lots of ppl too. n since this is ur mental playground, u call the shots, n there is no consequences if u slightly (or even entirely) alter one or both personalities to fit ur desired narrative. n u wouldnt even notice or know, cos ur blind to ur own biasness.

we bring our perceived notions into real life, im sure u know that. so when ur partner does not become that perfect knight in shining armour, or when they get upset at things that u do (which is a very normal thing by the way), n u think (very subconsciously), That isnt what my otp would do, something is wrong here (nothing is wrong, actually its just ur skewed perception of a stable romantic relationship). why wouldnt ur otp do this? because u are both halves of ur otps, there is no hidden secrets between them (apart from the pining part but thats irrelevant), n again they have been altered to fit ur preferred narrative. 

a real relationship requires a lot of communication between parties, because newsflash, liking someone doesnt mean that u have to like every single thing they do, they will make mistakes n it will hurt u, n guess what, the reverse is also true. if u do go with absoutely anything that they would do with 0 objections whatsoever, ur not crushing on someone, ur idolizing them, n that power imbalance is detrimental to a relationship. these things are not obvious to ppl, especially when the whole climate is hell bent on getting into romantic relationships by a certain age or some bullshit. communication is key n is pretty much the only way to solve relationship issues, because the other person has a lot that u r not seeing n vice versa. as similar as 2 ppl can be, i doubt u can have 100% the same thoughts on all things. i dont make the rules.

so in ur mental playground u focus on the fluffy parts, maybe there is communication, but rarely is there any meaningful conflict. thats unrealistic, n if u bring that mindset to an actual relationship, thats not going to end well. i say meaningful conflict, because yes, generally u shouldnt have conflicts with ur significant other. but inevitably when ur with each other for long enough, u will realize that there are habits that u must change in order to be with the other person. habits that are harmful to the other person directly, or harmful habits towards yourself that indirectly harm the other person. these are meaningful in a sense that if left alone, it will manifest into larger problems that will harm u, the other person n the relationship as a whole. its meaningful to the relationship.

all these is made even worse if ur neurodivergent. maladaptive coping practices, self sabotaging behaviours, inherent disabilities. all these must be adjusted n addressed. im so incredibly thankful for my boyfriend for being incredibly patient with me when working all these out, n it has not been easy for me to work on myself n all my problems, n im still not done working on them. this aspect is often not explored in romance in general (or properly), n there is a very good chance i would have still been stuck in the unhealthy mindset of “this isnt like my otp, maybe we’re not meant to be”. because loving someone is a choice. no one is made for each other, it is a conscious choice made between 2 ppl to make things work. this is how arranged marriages work, i am told, n i do see the appeal, not that it actually does appeal to me culturally.

special mention to the kurotsukki ship, cos from there i found a very, very good fic that explored their relationship before n after getting together, n it actually showed aspects of this problem in the incredibly slow burn of (at that time) 20+ chapters. it was just one fic (n a very good one at that, i believe it was called Leviticus), but it had a lesson i never thought i needed to learn, n learn it i did, with a lot of help from my dear. 

this is also probably the reason why i dont really want to delve too much into romance now. i know its a lot of work, n everything (mostly) that the media feeds u is really false advertising, but ppl eat that shit up n so it remains one of the most popular genres to date. im just very wary that if i do start on a romantic story, i want to be able to show it in a way like that fic did, the truths of relationships, because i dont want to make something that sells, i want to make something that meaningful to me, if a little indulgent. n that also includes being very careful in how the respective characterizations will change in a relationship. almost too careful now that i think about it, but its not something that i mind. i was never one for romance from the start, n now im very careful about shipping because of what happened to me persoanlly.

okay enough about me, lets talk about aesop. in any au u put the character in, the essence of the character must remain despite the change in environment. so lets say we have ur typical modern au. dead mom, check. shitty mentor doing illegal stuff? also check. autistic boy with social anxiety? we’re good to go. all these have implications on aesop as a character, n while ppl are aware of this, again the way they go about portraying it can go, in my personal opinion, very wrong. ppl who immediately woobify aesop completely because he has autism annoy me. ppl who reduce him to uwu soft boi cos he has social anxiety do not know how the disorder really works n as someone who has that i hate it to the core. ppl who do all these for the sake of ship have lost my respect. its insulting.

remember the top/bottom dynamic? not that elisop is completely free from that (even if i dont know much about eli, to put him in either one of those stereotypes feels very insulting to his character. i wont even say anything about doing it to aesop its so upsetting), but its not entirely made up of either. but now i want to introduce another trope i am very wary of, which is “i can fix him”. im sure u guys have seen the meme going around poking fun at this trope (for those who havent, its along the lines of “u can fix him? well i can be his worst nightmare”) n no doubt yall would have seen it n gotten sick of it in some forced hetero romantic bullshit. we have one damsel in distress with a saviour that solves all their problems just by existing n being romo with each other.

remember “my preferred dating simulator 101″? this is not mutually exclusive n from my point of view this is dangerously close to this trope. lets be real, if it was actually a thing that all ur deep rooted trauma magically disappears if someone were to waltz into ur life, we would want it. definitely. no painfully dissecting ur own problems n constantly facing them head on. real life states that this is not the case, but it will not stop us from dreaming. n so this trope is born n lives n will go on.

(finally) pulling aesop n eli into this, at least in my mind, u have one severely traumatized boy with lots of issues n u have this. nice mild guy who can be anything u want him to be. i hope u can see where im going with this, n thats the direction i see some elisop heading towards (i dont read a lot of elisop to be fair). if u came from my eli character talk, i mentioned that it is incredibly one sided. this is exactly what im talking about.

putting it all together in case u havent already, aesop is the damsel in distress, whose problems magically disappear because of elis godly kindness n little to no work on improving himself, n they lived happily n gayly ever after.

can u tell how much that does not appeal to me. 

never mind the butchering of character that inevitably happens somewhere somehow, the unrealistically perfect themes n implications of this trope makes me so viscerally uncomfortable. this is, of course, due to personal reasons, n i definitely see the appeal of this dynamic because i would probably have been interested in this once upon a time as well. but as i am now, with everything i have explained up there n everything i have been through, i would politely rather not.

n its difficult to think of another dynamic, because of how little i know about eli apart from him being this saint, which easily makes him a candidate for being aesops trauma panacea. never mind aesop rarely, if ever, does anything for eli as a character in return, n its so damaging to buy into this rhetoric, where a person like this who would solve all ur issues no strings attached exists somewhere in the world. they really dont. a relationship has to be mutually benefitting, or it will be draining n disastrous. maybe u say, Oh its nice to imagine it once in a while. n yeah, i agree, except once in a while is a little difficult to keep track of n that is sort of what happened to me. id rather stay as far away as possible from this kind of unrealistic fantasy, i just got this shit sorted out with myself n my boyfriend.

i have some other reasons, but theyre more personally problematic, so i wont go into them here. but this is mostly n generally why i do not ship elisop romantically. if u do, u do u, and have fun, but again dont expect me to join u. thank u for coming to my ted talk, this took a lot longer than expected.