#//we are going to ignore how wonky some parts of this look

[insertpinkchiphere]

//very sleep deprived shitpost

[asmolvaporeon]

Hi @threefeline! I draw maybe once a year and when I do it’s usually symmetrical patterns and not things with an actual anatomy, but goddamn you inspired me to draw something more tangible because your demon looks cool and you’re a cool person and I wanted to draw something for you to express that. I hope you understand when I say that from the moment I saw that sketch I thought “oh god he looks RAD I want to draw him!” and holy shit(!) I did. A full-ass, made-from-scratch digital drawing!

So yeah the perspective is a bit wonky and not what I aimed for and I have no idea what shading is but I am happy that I made this and I hope you’re happy too. This was drawn with a laptop touchpad, lots of patience and no experience so I’m giving myself some slack. It was nonetheless fun! I might do this some more! I feel that I learned some things, at least about the art program, so that’s something.

Also I’m never drawing chains again. Hell. Absolute capital-letter-H Hell is what that part was every step of the way. 

I’ll put a read more here because I made thought-notes during the process. Some of them are fun. There's also the base sketch that I did on paper.

(To the tune of the hills are alive with the sound of music) Where doooeess the other back leeggg goooooo?

Solution: he splooting!

Clavicle? Never heard of her!

(Threefeline I don’t know how you do this you’re a fucking wizard!)

Okay what is this arm going to do? Fuck it let it hold some flowers, that’s what they are good for.

Oh no his head is too large, we don’t want an egghead; make him a pinhead!

FUCK THERE ARE HORNS AS WELL

Good Loooord hands are haaaard

I implore you Threefeline, ignore his messed up left hand.

Oh okay, alright then. Fuck, god, chains are possibly worse, just for different reasons. 

Oh no I think I gave him the handsome Squidward face

Why can’t I get the horn angles RIGHT

Why is the noodle harder to draw?!

Oh god I broke its arm

Fuck it, mewtwo tail! 

We’re snatching his waist, lads!…What have we done

Hand? What hand? There’s only fluff there!

I tried making the colors more dull, but well…I just couldn’t really get the hang of it? Hopefully I’ll learn some day?

What the fuck is shading. Shading chains in particular is bullshit.

(After figuring out gold) Oh my god I feel like Michelangelo here. I’m learning art man. 

[littleshysheep-at-da]

Hello, I like your art can you share some Sasajima Kyouya/Wrath headcanons? He’s my favourite character.

OHMYGOSH THANK YOU SO MUCH???

*cracks knuckles* YOU’VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE. Honestly he’s my Favorite too! A decent of my Headcanons for him revolve around my OT3 or the Demon Army Family so here we go!

This may contain vague Spoilers and I may edit this for grammar or to add more details…

Honestly consider this part 1 because if you ask again later I’d probably have even more written down lol.

(I’m ripping this from my KumoDesu Fanfic ideas Doc so if some of the wording is wonky that’s why btw THERE’S A LOT)

To start I’ve def said this before here: Things to note I’m obsessed with my headcannon of Shun x Katia x Kyouya as an OT3 and there is zero content but I have a million ideas but no energy. Also you can rip the headcannon of the demon army as family with Ariel x Shiraoi as the parents to Mera, Sophia, and Kyouya (and YES I have a long winded modern and other AUs shut up) from my cold dead hands.

Shiro and Kyouya Mother-Son: The Labyrinth and the Mountains are probably the 2 harshest environments in the world. So I like to think that because of growing up in these environments Shiro and Kyouya both have some weird but similar values. I’ve always kinda seen them very much as Mother and Son. The Labyrinth was harsher so she has some more insane survival methods and he sort of looks up to it. (Side note: I know some people Ship them and I never want to throw discourse, you’re allowed to ship whatever you want so don’t want to say much, but personally I hate it very much I could go into why but it’s mostly my character reads and taste). Ariel and Shiro give off so many Mom vibes when it comes to Mera, Kyouya, and Sophia to me lol (and yes they would be siblings in that order I don’t remember where but I think the LN said Goblins have shorter pregnancies so Kyouya is slightly older than Sophia lol). Sophia especially with Kyouya reads as the “no one is allowed to bully my Brother but me” vibes and I love it. Her and Kyouya also both definitely look up to Mera as someone who’s well put together.

For the hair of the non-human reincarnations: Shiro’s hair feels like silk. Fei’s hair feels like feathers. And Kyouya’s hair feels like soft animal down. I bet Katia asks to play with Kyouya’s hair and then has a flied day with how soft it is. I also like to think she tries to convince him to let her do his nails lol.

For lifespan: So Shiroai is immortal, I’m assuming Ariel has a long life span close to that (ignoring the end of the novel with Ariel spoilers), and Mera and Sophia are somewhere in the same boat or close to that… How long is Kyouya’s lifespan??? For most angst is he gonna outlive his human friends but die before his demon family???

Goblins are just Hamsters: The Goblins look like they’re based on Hamster so you can not take away from me the Headcanon they’re language is just Hamster noises. I like to think Kyouya teaches it to the others so they can use it as code. (The Demon Army can communicate purely with inhuman noises lol). I like to think Kyouya purrs instead or snores because of this as well. I also like to think because he grew up around the Goblins he just sees them as people and doesn’t get what everyone thinks they look like.

Kyouya’s height: Kyouya was a manlet before reincarnation it's cannon I’m living. Okay and technically speaking he probably is after reincarnation as well. Like they are in a European Fantasy setting and he’s only “considerably taller than he used to be” which was considerably short for a Japanese High Schooler. Also in Ex2 we see him standing next to a Puppet Taratect (which are all short af) yet they come up to his shoulder.

Housewife vibes: I think what Kyouya wants in life is to be a Housewife ngl. Like he was most satisfied working to support people he was close to both in his past life online game and the goblin village. Plus I think though he did that by making weapons he would prefer not to have to fight. What if he makes good knives and just starts cooking for people. Like I don’t have more words right now so this is short but I could go off here.

My OT3 Agenda: Background: I’m just saying Kyouya is really depressed and probably doesn’t have any plans for after the war but I could see Ariel having in him work in the human area with Shun and Katia (probably cause she feels a bit sad about him losing friends) because he’s in their upper ranks and unlike Sophia can actually deal with people. But I feel like Shun and Katia feel bad that they had each other and he had to grow up all alone so they try and reconnect. Shun, because he really clings to the connections he does have and because they were so close in their past lives, desperately wants to rebuild that. Katia because she seems similarly attached to people she considers friends she’s afraid of losing that and probably feels bad for writing Kyoua off as maybe an enemy and not being there for him like she was for Shun. Kyouya is just deeply confused that they still want anything to do with him and feels undeserving but is really happy. Confession: I think Katia knows about her feelings first but doesn’t say anything due to self esteem issues (except some flirting to test the waters). I think Kyouya has a realization ™ and feels unsure of what to do (also self esteem issues). But ends up visibly being a little off which Shun notices and brings up to Katia (she sorta noticed as well) so she confronts him which ends in a mutual confession between the two as they then decide how to tell Shun. Shun meanwhile worried what’s going irks Fei who decides to inform him of his very obvious (to everyone but him) crushes. Now realizing his feelings he’s very awkward about it until Katia and Kyouya confront him and confession ensues. Now realizing they all love each other: OT3 successful.

Taking this outta the tags: Not even kidding answering asks about KumoDesu because I’ve sort of come to be know as a KumoDesu blog is like,,, I’m living my dream right now. I haven’t even posted my Kumoko Cosplay or that much Art yet but people just wanna hear my opinion???? Literally these asks give me so much dopamine feel free to keep them coming.

[orchidsangel]

hello ml!!

i was curious abt how big of a reader you are. like, if books ever interested you or if it’s just fics of tumblr mby?

and if books for you, what are your favourite(?)?!

hi robin!!!

oh gosh, i used to be such a massive reader. like genuinely addicted to reading, could knock out multiple books in a day. i remember one time when i was in elementary school, the book fair came around, and i asked to go to the nurses office so i could get out of class and look at the books.

i think sometime in middle school, i stopped reading as much, and by high school, i almost completely stopped outside of stuff assigned for class. and even then, i would skim over stuff and just quit a few chapters in.

i've got adhd so my attention span is really short, and my brain just won't function normally when i read, so i find myself rereading the same sentences over and over again to make sure i understand them, which just gets really frustrating. so idk, i stopped reading full-blown books bc of it. which is crazy because i do still love reading, i just hate that my brain's a little wonky and won't let me do it in peace.

a couple years back, i had to take english over in summer school, and it was basically a free reading period, so i ended up reading three entire books that summer, which may not be a lot for some people, but for me, at the time, it was really big. and last year, i finally finished a book that i had started two years prior but put down because it was just fucking insane.

i hope to read more this year, and literally, just last night, i raided my mom's classic lit shelf. planning on reading dracula or the picture of dorian gray!

as for my faves, it's hard to say because every book that's really stuck with me was something i read 2+ years ago, but the party by robyn harding was one i really loved. i read it in 8th grade, and it definitely wasn't for kids, but idk, i've never been one to stick to my age group. emergency contact by mary h.k. choi was a big one for me. i read that in 9th grade as a freshman in high school, i believe, and i followed it up with permanent record also by mary h.k. choi. i really loved both books, which was surprising for me because i'm not really into romance, but what i liked about them was how the entire plots weren't focused on the relationship, like it was more than that.

when you reach me by rebecca stead was a book i read when i was 10, and i still think about it to this day. i get the urge to reread it because my ten-year-old brain couldn't fully understand what was going on, but i did really enjoy it. during that same time in my life, i read the books absolutely normal chaos by sharon creech and a crooked kind of perfect by linda urban. both are books i think about often, especially a crooked kind of perfect, i reread it multiple times.

the most recent book i finished was credence by penelope douglas which…no comment. (literally put it down for two years before picking it up again and then had to put it back down for another six months)

my most recent fave was beware that girl by teresa toten, which i really really loved. although, the ending was a little lackluster, so i choose to ignore it and focus on the parts that i loved, which was pretty much the entire rest of the book.

i also enjoyed we were liars by e. lockhart, which was recommended by booktok before they became a bunch of smut fiends. i really did like that one, i didn't expect the end, and it was a good read to me.

there's definitely more that i've read in my life and enjoyed. i was a big geronimo and thea stilton lover when i was a kid, along with junie b jones and any iteration of a diary that could be found (dork diaries, dear dumb diary, diary of a wimpy kid). but lately, all i read is fanfiction, and i don't even read that much anymore.

i suppose the best way to exercise my brain muscles and get back into the habit of reading is to pick up a book and read, but ahhh, my eyes get so tired, and i already spend so much time staring at words while writing and doing homework. but i do really miss the feeling of being thoroughly enthralled in a book and not being able to put it down.

speaking of a book i forgot, the cheerleaders by kara thomas was a book i read the summer before my freshman year of high school, and it's the book that made me realize i thoroughly enjoy murder mysteries set in high school.

anyway, sorry this got so long. thank u for the q; made me really happy to answer it!

[enam3l]

love, lola chapter nine preview!

university has been super busy and these will be two big chapters that’ll drop simultaneously so i’m sorry about the delay. but here’s the opening for the next chapter -

Eddie has just arrived in California with Kraven and his rockstar journey is just beginning but he can’t stop thinking about how you said goodbye.

California is too fucking hot. That is what Eddie Munson has learnt since moving. Far too hot for hair like his and definitely far too hot to stay hidden behind the safety of his leather jacket.

After years of the mind numbing mundanity of Hawkins, Eddie was propelled into the fast pace L.A. mindset. Each morning for a moment his heart hammered, wondering where he was until the palm trees outside the window reminded him it definitely wasn't Indiana. The apartment the record label had set him and rest of Kraven up in was definitely not the trailer - maybe the size of every single one in the park combined.

So far, everyone had been nice; a niceness you're not usually privy to when you're known as 'The Freak'. Kraven were excited he accepted the offer and their label and manager had heralded him the hero of the hour. But a nagging part of Eddie couldn't ignore the feeling that this wasn't really his band, he was a replacement. There was a brotherhood between the band mates long before his arrival and it's hard to ever truly assimilate with a bond like that. Regardless, he was there, escaped the confines of his small town and now living the dream of becoming a rockstar. This was always the fantasy, wasn't it?

September 2nd 1986

For the first time in his life, Eddie is sat in a real life, high tech, actual recording studio. A far cry from Gareth’s egg box insulated garage. An egg shaped chair swallows him whole which feels tediously symbolic of his time so far in California. Everything is much bigger than him. As the band and producers play him the demos they have already, with hopeful looks on their faces, he resorts to anxiously twisting the rings on his fingers. They're a tangible reminder of home. He thumbs them in order. Skull. Pig. Cross and bones. Mom's. But now there's a new edition - yours.

It made its way onto his finger as you said your final goodbyes in the airport terminal and it hasn't left since. Between runny noses and weepy eyes, Eddie frowned as you withdrew from a hug that had already lasted several minutes (which was still not long enough).

'I have something for you, Teddy,' you confess as you sift through your bag.

'You already threw the party, sweetheart. Whatcha wasting money on me for?' He sighs.

The protests were not what you wanted clearly as he's met with a silencing finger until you finally found what you were looking for. Now you chew your lip anxiously, fumbling with a little velvet pouch.

'It's not for going away... it's - well, I gathered, this will be the first time since we met that we've not spent our birthdays together...'

Eddie's stomach drops, he had not gathered that. 'Oh...' he murmurs.

'So, I thought I'd give you your present now. I guess. If that's okay?'

Totally thrown, he only blinked and nodded. Taking his hand, you lay his palm out flat and shake the pouch until Eddie hears a little clinking, then feels cool metal on the skin.

'It's the big 2-1, y'know. I wanted us to have something special. I couldn't think of anything to buy. But, I - uhhh - I could think of something to make.'

Finally, he moves and inspects your gift closer. Two silver rings, perfectly imperfect. Carefully, he spins them round until he can finally see what the feature of them is. It causes him to gasp and you to resort to nervously stumbling over your words.

'I was taking a silversmithing class at college and I was thinking about your rings and then I thought I could make you one. Then I thought I could make us some. Matching ones. For our birthdays. It's silly. They're not professional or anything. Y'know a little wonky. Just thought it'd be nice...'

Eddie balls his fist up, clutching the precious contents and closes his eyes to swallow up a sniffle. One ring has E for Eddie on, the other identical except for your initial.

'Wonky? Y/N... they're perfect. This is, holy shit, this is the most amazing thing anyone has ever given me...'

The compliment makes your insides fizz.

'Are you sure? I mean, I was gonna tidy them up more but when you were in hospital. When I went back to New York... I brought them back with me. Just incase... y'know...'

Just incase Eddie never made it to his 21st is the unspoken ending to that sentence that you both understand. Eddie takes your hands in his and squeezes. The rings shielded by your conjoined palms.

'Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you... put it on me! Go on! Make me your little hand model m!'

As usual, Eddie's theatrics ease the tension and force you into giggles.

Carefully, you slide the E ring over Eddie's finger. He prompts you to place it on the bare one next to where his Mom's old ring resides. Then, he takes your hand and delicately places your own ring onto the matching finger. To the rest of the people in the airport, it must've looked like the exchanging of vows before to lovers were forced apart. Really, they wouldn't have been entirely incorrect.

‘So what do you think man?’

Eddie breaks his daze to be met with a room of hopeful eyes.

‘Huh?’ He murmurs.

‘The demos!’ The manager Chris encourages, ‘for the album! These are what the guys have put down so far. Love em?’

tag list: @tlclick73 @probablyin-bed @fangirling-4-ever @booksarekindaneat @azydrateanatomy-deactivated2023y @sadbitchfangirl@fluffybunnyu@big-ope-vibes @beam86 @midnightsgetawaycar @stevieharringtonswife

[bongo-clash]

Ectobiology: Ectoplasmic Anatomy of Ghosts & Halfas!!!

Okay, I mentioned in my post about ghost taxonomy a couple things about ectoplasm that helped with the different category sections, and I thought it’d be nice to go over that stuff plus some other ideas in more detail!!! Please don’t mind too much if the science is a little wonky, because I love this kind of thing but I am not a STEM guy, and my only resource is questionable websites and my own brain!!! Anyway, let’s get into some of it!!!!

(Everything under cut!!! :D) 

Before I start, I want to make a point of saying that I’m only talking about Ghost Ectoplasm™ specifically and not ectoplasm as a whole (i.e., atmospheric/ambient ectoplasm), and while I might mention it in a section or two in terms of how it interacts with Ghost Ectoplasm™, I won’t go into too many details on the stuff itself (Might do a smaller thing for that though too, if I ever get in the mood for ectochemistry I guess!!!)!! (I also mentioned mediums in my taxonomy post, but we’re ignoring them for now because this stuff doesn’t really apply to them!!! This is exclusively ghost and halfa stuff!!!)

But, now that that’s out of the way, here we go!!!!

-

Section 1: Ectoplasm’s Prokaryoticism

I’ll start with one of the things that came up in my taxonomy post- specifically to do with why ghosts that were alive at some point are classified as post-eukarya, which definitely raises questions to what they’re like now. Let’s talk about that!!

Post-eukaryotic kind of implies they’re now prokaryotic, meaning they lack a nucleus/membrane bound organelles. In the Domain category of taxonomy (the normal not-ghost one lmao!!), there are two other sections other than eukarya, which are bacteria and archaea. I bring these up because they kind of serve as a base to understand ectoplasm with!!! Post-eukarya ghosts’ ectoplasmic structure more closely resembles organisms labelled bacteria, whereas natural ghosts’ more closely resembles archaea. I wanted to make this distinction because it makes sense given their different niches:

(From the three-domain system wikipedia page)

‘Bacteria tend to be the most prolific reproducers, at least in moderate environments. Archaeans tend to adapt quickly to extreme environments, such as high temperatures, high acids, high sulfur, etc. This includes adapting to use a wide variety of food sources. Eukaryotes are the most flexible with regard to forming cooperative colonies, such as in multi-cellular organisms, including humans.’

An archaean-like structure makes a lot of sense for natural ghosts because of its ability to thrive in extreme conditions, since the Ghost Zone definitely counts as an extreme environment (for non-ectoplasmic entities at least). Bacteria-like qualities, on the other hand, make more sense for post-eukarya ghosts due to them being more likely go into the human world, and thus needing to be much more prolific cell-reproducers and restorers, having to be more ‘self-sufficient’ in that sense as a result of there being a lesser supply of ectoplasm to draw from. 

So I feel like I should mention now that I’m not thinking of ghosts as single-celled organisms here, even though that’s how prokaryotic organisms usually are because!!! They’re not always!!! It’s been a least a little bit evidenced that certain bacterial species can aggregate together, which is what multicellular organisms do, and even though there’s a big debate about whether or not we can really call them multicellular, I’ve made the elective decision that we can for ectoplasm!!!! Because they have at least some adhesion even if they’re pretty easily and harmlessly separated (which we can see in most ghost fights), and because the cells can clearly communicate seeing as they all move as part of a body!!!!

Anyway, back to more structure stuff, I’m gonna focus on post-eukarya ghosts just because (though a lot of this could be applied vaguely to natural ghosts too) we’re gonna look into a more specific part of it now to do with the subsistence category- which if you didn’t read the taxonomy post, is basically how ghosts ‘get’ their energy- either by naturally absorbing the ambient ectoplasm in the atmosphere or by having to actively consume energy through any one of various methods. 

I mentioned before that post-eukaryotic ghosts are more ‘bacteria-like’. But there’s also a further distinction in the ectoplasmic structure of ambient and active ghosts!!!! There’s a type of bacteria called cyanobacteria (also known as blue-green algae) which can perform photosynthesis thanks to them containing internal membranes unlike heterotrophic prokaryotes (that can’t produce their own ‘food’), as well as photosynthetic pigments. Ambient ghosts function in a similar way to this, able to absorb the energy from atmospheric ectoplasm rather than having to actively consume anything- also why most post-eukaryotic ghosts are ambient!!! It’s advantageous when taking into consideration the lesser ectoplasm supply in the human world; if they’re constantly, automatically ‘recharging’, then it’s easier to quickly recover from damage (though we’ll get onto the specifics of that later)!!!

However!!! Active post-eukaryotic ghosts also exist (like Spectra!!), so their structure is a little different!!! Their structure can vary more wildly than an ambient’s can, but the more common structural resemblance is to the bacteria Actinomycetota, which can have a kind of symbiotic relationship with their surroundings. 

I think it’d be good to have an example for this, so Spectra’s ability is probably an easier way to look at it!!! Some kinds of Actinomycetota help out in ecosystems by converting nitrogen in the air into ammonia for plants, and in ‘return’ gain access to some of those plants’ saccharides. Spectra’s ability works in a similar way, even though the symbiotic nature isn’t mutually beneficial. She induces mood alteration (of the negative kind), and uses that to kind of ‘gain access’ to a target’s energy!!!! But not all active ghosts function this way- some can be beneficial like the kind of Actinomycetota mentioned before, and some are less symbiotic and just stay in the zone to ‘feed’ off its natural supply!!!!

Okay I’m gonna be honest my eyes are blurring looking at all this stuff about prokaryoticism so we’re gonna move on to a new section now for the sake of my brain staying not-melted!!!!!

-

Section 2: Anaerobic Classifications

Just to make sure I’ve got a definition down before we get into it, aerobic and anaerobic respiration basically refers to whether or not an organism respires with oxygen/uses oxygen for growth or not- aerobic is when it uses oxygen, anaerobic is when it doesn’t!!!

Ghosts are anaerobic!!!! The GZ doesn’t naturally contain breathable/sufficient levels of oxygen (although it can be found in higher contents in areas with a higher population of post-eukaryotic ghosts and portals!!), so it makes sense that they don’t actually have a need for it, however!! There are actually different classifications of anaerobe, and a ghost can fall into almost any one of those categories!!!! There is a little bit of debate about the accuracy of these categories as classifications, but rn we’re just going to ignore that because they work well enough for ghosts!!! 

Anyway- there are three categories of anaerobes!!! They’re pretty easy to understand, so I’m just gonna put down what the Wikipedia page says!!! :

Obligate anaerobes, which are harmed by the presence of oxygen. Two examples of obligate anaerobes are Clostridium botulinum and the bacteria which live near hydrothermal vents on the deep-sea ocean floor.

Aerotolerant organisms, which cannot use oxygen for growth, but tolerate its presence.

Facultative anaerobes, which can grow without oxygen but use oxygen if it is present.

So, which ghosts fit what definition?? Well, no ghosts are actually facultative except halfas in their human form!!! Or, well, on the whole they’re kind of a weird mix of a microaerophile (which is fully aerobic but higher concentrations of oxygen are poisonous) but also maybe slightly facultative, which I know sounds weird but halfas are just super weird either way [and we’ll get into some of that weirdness more in the fourth section lmao]!! Mediums are full microaerophiles but I haven’t talked about them properly yet so we’ll leave them for another day!!!!

Moving on, the majority of natural ghosts are actually fully obligate with a couple of noteworthy exceptions like Clockwork, Undergrowth, Nocturn, and some others!!!! I know you might be thinking if you read the taxonomy post- ‘why is this not a section in the taxonomic classification system??’ And my answer to this is!!! Because if a ghost isn’t fully obligate, it can get pretty complicated. I say fully obligate because, in reality, all ghosts are obligate in a weird way, but some- namely, post-eukaryotic ghosts- have adaptations to help with this!!!!

I’m going to say the adaptation is kind of like. A protective layer of sorts??? They have a kind of ‘outermost layer’ of aerotolerant ectoplasm to protect everything underneath from coming into contact with oxygen, and it also works as a filter system for ambient ghosts so that the ectoplasm absorbed from the atmosphere is pure and any oxygen it might have reacted with is separated and left behind!!! It’s pretty quick to cover over again when a ghost is hit unless the damage is serious- I guess you could compare it to potassium metal!!! If you’ve ever seen a video of someone messing around with potassium metal, it’s got this kind of dirty-looking layer over it, and if you cut it the inside’ll go bright at first but it tarnishes super quickly, and it’ll soon look the same as the other uncut parts of the outer layer!!! 

Speaking of which, this is a pretty good way to bring in how ecto-weapons work and why they hurt ghosts beyond just the force of the shot!!! Like I mentioned before (and Might get into more sometime in another post), atmospheric ectoplasm will react with oxygen!!!! This is important because that’s the stuff that ecto-weapons use; it’s not pure ectoplasm because you can’t find that naturally outside the GZ!!!

So, if the stuff is shot at a ghost through something like an ecto-gun, because it’s obviously forceful and makes contact at a high-speed, it can damage and even break through that aerotolerant layer and get oxygen into their system, which really isn’t good!!!! If the damage is just surface-layer/superficial, it can be recovered from pretty quickly (thinking back to the potassium analogy!!), but if the damage is more serious and that oxygen- even reacted with ectoplasm- manages to really get into a ghost’s anatomy, preventative measures need to be taken in order to ensure that it doesn’t reach the ghost’s core/the rest of their body, and this is where the next section comes into play!!!!

-

(TW: There's some pretty bad injury/medical talk in these next sections (Section 4 especially), so please be mindful!!!!)

-

Section 3: Programmed Cell Death

Okay when I said I was done talking about prokaryoticism I actually meant I was done talking about cyanobacteria and actinomycetota similarities. Prokaryotic organisms like bacteria don’t really have ‘immune systems’ in the same way most eukaryotic organisms do, so they sometimes can’t fight off things like infection if the infection isn’t manageable from the get-go. Instead, they initiate a form of ‘programmed cell death’ in order to prevent the pathogen from reproducing!!! And now here’s how that’s relevant to ghost injury!!!!

So!!! Long story short, if a ghost gets oxygen into their ‘inner system’ thanks to something like an ecto-gun, the area the injury originates at literally just dies off, and separates from the body before it can spread to other parts. For example, if a ghost was hit in the arm badly, that arm can literally just fall off and grow back like a lizard tail!!! This can be done with pretty much any part of a ghost’s body- the only aspect of a ghost that’s actually genuinely problematic to injure is the core, because most ghosts- provided they’re not already low-energy- can just regrow everything else, though they may need to head back to the GZ for the higher ectoplasm quantity if the loss is severe enough!!!!

Really short section, I know, however!!! There is a complication to this stuff, and this is where we get into the difficult bit!!!!

-

Section 4: Halfas

The problem with halfas is that they’re not totally ghosts or totally humans no matter which form they’re in, and this can cause a lot of complications when it comes to stuff like injuries- but first, we’re going to go into integration. 

Ghosts are prokaryotic. Humans are eukaryotic. Halfas are…???????? Kind of both kind of neither????? There’s this one thing called a Parakaryon that we can’t classify as either eukaryotic or prokaryotic because it’s so weird, and it’s kind of like that, in that their cells have aspects unique to both types. This is probably a result of all their ghost stuff and all their human stuff trying to combine/integrate into one thing, and ending up as something almost entirely different in the process. This also means that their structures in both ghost and human form are weird, because halfas at least somewhat need organs, which ghosts don’t (other than a core if you count that as an organ), and they also need ectoplasm, which humans don’t. 

Because of all this weirdness, there can be a lot of potential issues with a halfa getting injured, because humans can’t and don’t defend against harm in the same way ghosts do, and vice versa. While ghosts can just get rid of something and grow it back, that’s not a natural option at all for humans, and while humans can fight against infection in an injury thanks to their white blood cells, ghosts don’t have that in the same way. So what does that mean for a halfa?????

What I’m thinking is that, for most non-lethal but slightly beyond superficial injuries (slashes, broken bones, burns, etc.), they’re able to defend against them in a human way, since they still have a human-immune system. So, for injuries like that, especially if it’s caused by an ecto-weapon, it’s weirdly enough best to deal with those in human form, since they can be pretty easily recovered from and it’d really suck for your finger to just. Fall off because you hurt it pretty bad and stayed in ghost-form for too long so your ghost-recovery-system kicked in before your human one did. I’m almost completely sure it’d grow back, but that’d still cause a lot of problems, since you wouldn’t have a finger. 

However, major injuries are a bit more… difficult. Because at this point your ghost-recovery-system would be kicking in regardless of what form you’re in. It’d want to activate programmed cell death and separate from the body, but human bodies just don’t do it the way ghosts do, and it’d be fighting to keep all your everything attached because separating could make it a lot worse. So major injuries aren’t just problematic because they’re major, but also because they present a whole new issue: necrosis. 

Basically, the ghost stuff wants the whole injured section totally separate from the body, so when the human stuff doesn’t let that happen, it does what it thinks the next best thing is: having the cells sort of ‘spew their guts’ as like, a really weird and warped form of ‘separation’. The cell membrane ruptures and releases the contents of the cell, but because it’s such an uncontrolled release into a space outside the cells, it causes an inflammatory response in the surrounding tissue. This then gets the attention of the human white blood cells to get rid of the dead cells, which is all well and good, except that some kinds of white blood cells (leukocytes) release a microbial-damaging substance that ends up causing more damage in that inflamed surrounding tissue. That all ends up inhibiting the healing process, so the decomposing surrounding tissue and the dead cells can just build up around and cause even more issues (Like, gangrene in particularly nasty cases, which. Ah. Eugh.). 

If it doesn’t heal on its own and does just build up, the only real way of getting anything better is to surgically remove the necrotic tissue. Thankfully, despite all the horrific stuff I’ve just said about halfas’ injury-response systems, they do actually have an accelerated healing factor thanks to the extra energy source (ectoplasm), so it doesn’t tend to get to this point in the first place. This is just what happens if that rapid-response system decides that the only way to solve the problem is to try and totally get rid of the problem, which I guess is just one of the downfalls of being someone made up of a combination of things that shouldn’t really exist together. A double-edged sword of sorts!!!

-

Maybe not the lightest note to end on, but either way, that’s all I’ve really got the energy to give you right now!!! This ended up even longer than my taxonomy post, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask because I love talking to people!!! I might add onto this at some point with another post- mainly because there’s some very brief stuff about atmospheric/ambient ectoplasm that I kind of want to cover (which, like I said at the beginning is more ectochemistry anyway, and I might do a separate post for that too)- but for now, that’s it!!!!! Hope you’re all having a good day!!! :D

[saltiestcoconut]

aiyusa prompt: something involving ai wearing a maid dress <3 eg, link vrains cosplay event/working part time at a maid cafe/dressing up just for fun/etc

Thanks nonny for the prompt! It was super fun to write something I love maid outfits 😂

This was supposed to be edited and released a few days ago but bleh it be like that forgive me if some things seem a bit wonky I based everything off my memory of a video I watched a few weeks back and can't be bothered to rewatch

Everything aside I hope you enjoy~

"You should check your personal email," Ai suggested. While it wasn't unusual for Ai to backseat Yusaku's internet use, checking his email wasn't an activity Ai usually suggested. 

"Why? There's nothing there." 

"Just check it or I'll check for you." Ai threatened as he pointed at Yusaku’s computer screen.

Yusaku stared at Ai, a frown on his face as the two stared each other down. They both knew Ai wouldn't hesitate to take over the computer screen. 

"Fine, but I'm sending you to Kusanagi if I find out you've been messing around again."

Ai crossed his arms. "It all worked out in the end anyway. You were the hero you always wanted to be." 

Yusaku rolled his eyes but turned back to his computer as he ignored Ai. The sounds of typing and mouse clicking filled the room until Yusaku mused to himself, "Since when did I make reservations?" He glanced at Ai again, this time with a more baffled expression than a tense one. Ai whistled innocently as Yusaku opened the new mysterious email to read it in full. "Ai… I don't have time for a vacation." 

Ai placed his hands on his hips. "Yes, you do! Check the date, it's during summer vacation! You would officially be done with your first year of high school, you should celebrate with a nice vacation."

Yusaku looked sheepish. "Since I missed three months of school, I need to catch up…" 

"But the vacation is only three days long! It won't interfere with anything."

"But I don't have money…"

"Excuses! It's already paid for, just go!" 

"How?" 

Ai pushed his fingers together. "Don't worry about it. The money was obtained legally." And by legally, Ai meant that Akira Zaizen sent it willingly. After a few threats, a few Uno reverses, and a few promises, of course.

Yusaku's frown deepened, and his stare intensified, as if he was trying to see into Ai's past actions. Finally, his eyes slid back to the screen, and he relaxed. "I guess I'll take it. If anything happens in Link VRAINS— no, Duel Links, while I'm gone, we can just deal with it when I get back."

Ai waved a hand around. "Nothing's going to happen. The 'Action Duels!' event is still ongoing, Duel Links isn't going to change for at least another few days. Since you already finished the event, you have nothing to worry about."

"It's not about finishing the event, I need to figure out who— or what— runs Duel Links' events. If I can figure that out, then that would get me closer to figuring out Duel Links itself."

Ai leaned close to Yusaku, hands on his hips again. "You say all that, but I know you just wanted to have fun." 

"I—" 

"I'm your precious partner, you can't fool me! If you want to have fun, why don't you go on a vacation? Have you ever traveled outside of Den City?" 

Yusaku looked away and glared at the computer screen as if it could help him but refused to. "You're starting to sound like Zaizen or Kusanagi."

Ai jolted like a bolt of electricity ran through his head. "Don't compare me to those two…! Maybe you need an adult figure to constantly nag at you!" 

"Maybe," Yusaku said as he returned to the computer. 

Yusaku glanced at Ai as he deflated, head hung low and fingertips brushing the duel disk's surface. "Why are you so stubborn? Surely you can afford to relax a bit now?"

"I already said I would go."

Ai pumped his arms as he cheered. He would get Yusaku to have fun on their vacation, somehow.

#

Yusaku's arms were crossed the whole train ride. He had elected to sit at a window seat, duel disk pressing against the train’s wall that would make it difficult for Ai to pop out. However, even if Ai couldn't come out, he could still talk to him. 

"Are you still mad?" 

"Pissed." 

"But why? I don't see the big deal."

"You booked a love hotel! A love hotel! What the actual hell, Ai." 

Ai rolled his body as an attempt to roll his eyes. "I didn't take you to be such a macho man that you'd be embarrassed to be in a love hotel."

"It's not that! It's scandalous, Ai, only couples go there to… to you know…" Yusaku crossed his arms tighter around himself, too embarrassed to finish his thought.

"... Yusaku, are you a foreigner? Love hotels are cheaper, safer alternatives to regular hotels. I wasn't thinking of anything debaucherous when I booked the hotel." Admittedly, Ai did have something in mind, but Yusaku didn't have to know his plans until it was time to execute it. 

Yusaku still seemed upset, but he looked more pouty than angry, so Ai was confident he could still woo Yusaku. 

Once they arrived at the hotel, Yusaku was easily able to check in the hotel via the self-serve kiosk. Yusaku didn't know how draining travel would be until he finally stepped into his room. 

Yusaku half-heartedly inspected his room. A large window took up most of the right wall, a couch placed below the window. A long stand with several cabinets was pushed against the left wall, a large TV rested on its surface accompanied by a karaoke machine. The cabinets contained small vending machines that sold drinks and held the room's mini fridge and microwave. In front of the cabinets was a coffee table that was accessible from the couch pushed against the window. Next to the TV stand, a machine sat, one that Yusaku speculated to be a type of massage machine based on a wand with a ball embedded on the tip. 

On the opposite side of the room, the bed and two drawers occupied most of the room's space. One drawer had the room's phone and several catalogs on it while the other had a lamp. Another larger drawer occupied the space between the massage machine and the rest of the room. A massage chair occupied the space between the corner of the room and the window, which cycled back to the room entrance.

To the side of the entrance was a small hallway that led to the bathroom. One side was dedicated to sinks, with two sinks and a large mirror hung over both of them. Each sink was accompanied by toiletries appropriate for a man and a woman. The other side had separate rooms for the toilet and the bath, the bath taking up much more space due to its massive size. 

"Whoa! That bath might be big enough to comfortably accommodate my SOLtis form!" 

Yusaku jolted as if he had forgotten Ai was still around his wrist. "You don't have a SOLtis anymore," Yusaku said instead.

Yusaku eyed the bath in interest. He reached into the basin and plugged up the drain, then turned on the water to fill up the bath. 

"Oh! A bath! Good thinking, baths are so relaxing and so romantic, it's the perfect way to start off a vacation!" 

Unfortunately for Ai, Yusaku set him down at the television stand before gathering his pajamas and disappearing into the bathroom again. Ai couldn’t help but sigh in disappointment as he remembered a time where Yusaku would unabashedly change in front of him— even if at the time Yusaku didn’t believe Ai had sentience, and Ai wasn’t too serious about forming a relationship with his cold-hearted origin. Even if those days were long gone, Ai hoped one day Yusaku would bring him in the bath, and maybe if he asked nicely enough, that day would be some time during this vacation. 

For now, Ai activated the duel disk’s droid function, surprised Yusaku hadn’t removed that moderation yet. He successfully landed close enough to the room's phone, where several of the hotel's catalogs were also located. Ai casually flipped through the catalogs to decide what he should get Yusaku. 

Since Ai was small, ordering room service was a more difficult task than he anticipated, but he hoped it would be well worth the effort once he finally got all his requests in. Since Ai didn't have to satisfy any biological needs, all that was left for him to do was wait for Yusaku to finish his bath and hope he got out before the food got too cold. 

While both Yusaku and the hotel service took their precious time, Ai was able to remotely turn on the TV and entertain himself by watching a new soap opera he missed out on during his three month absence. Finally, after nearly half an hour of waiting, room service arrived, and he was able to execute his plan.

Ai picked this particular love hotel for a very specific reason— it was one of the first hotels to adopt a full SOLtis workforce for the sake of the anonymity love hotels are famous for. This allowed Ai to take over a SOLtis once the poor worker came close enough for Ai to transfer his data. With its own programming suppressed, Ai returned into the room while bringing in the things he ordered. 

Yusaku's katsu bowl dish went on the coffee table, and Ai swamped out the SOLtis' minimal uniform for the surprise he bought. By the time he finished his preparations, Yusaku had been in the bath long enough for Ai to think he fell asleep. 

Ai tapped two curled fingers against the bathroom door. "Yusaku? Are you dead?" 

The sound of water splashes after a short pause. "No." 

"Did Yusaku-chan fall asleep in the bath? How cute~"

"Be quiet." Water splashed around some more, then the faint sound of water draining. Ai moved away from the door but remained standing in the hallway.

Finally, Yusaku got out of the bathroom, towel casually slung over his shoulder and fully dressed in his pajamas. He quickly ran his eyes over Ai, Ai himself quickly jutting out his hips and lightly pressing one fingertip against his lips. 

On Ai's head was a headband with poofy white lace accompanied by two small black ribbons on either side of the headband. A detached collar rested on Ai's throat, held closed by an ascot that did nothing to hide the SOLtis diamond. The apron's frilly straps framed both sides of the detachable collar, the dress' puffy sleeves spilled from underneath the straps. Black bows were attached to the area where the apron's straps met the torso, a band made to resemble a small laced corset, giving way to the apron's protective covering. The dress had a sweetheart neckline, topped with white frills with a black ribbon along the center of the frilla. The dip of the neckline was adorned with a black bow. The dress was pulled tightly over Ai's body, as if the dress was a smaller size.

Ai's other hand lifted up the dress' skirt, showing off the ruffles hidden underneath. Underneath the skirt, Ai wore knee-high socks, the seams clamped tightly just above his knees adorned with white frills and black ribbons accompanied by a black bow. 

"Welcome back, master~" 

Yusaku stared at him. "Ai, no." 

"Why not?" Ai whined as Yusaku gently nudged Ai to the side so he could pass. 

Ai turned to face Yusaku's pointer finger standing tall and proud. "One, I'm not in the mood to play. I'm not used to traveling long distances, so I want to relax and try to get some sleep."

Ai deflated. He couldn't argue against Yusaku getting more sleep, and he knew it. 

A second finger went up. "Two, that SOLtis belongs to the hotel, please return it, I don't want you to get in trouble over something that can be avoided."

Ai crossed his arms, Yusaku was worried about him and he knew it. Still, he wanted to take advantage of at least some of the benefits of staying at a love hotel. 

Then Yusaku's ring finger. "Three, I don't want to be responsible for anything that might happen to that SOLtis, and that outfit."

Ai covered his mouth with a hand and giggled mischievously. "Oh? Am I imagining things, or is Yusaku-chan perverted now?" 

Yusaku's face turned from slightly annoyed to a cross between a pout and a frown. "I— no— you're the one who—"

Ai squealed and tugged Yusaku into a hug and peppered small kisses on his cheek. Ai now understood why humans were so obsessed over kisses, it was a gratifying way of expressing his love. "Don't worry about the dress, I bought it, but I wasn't planning on doing anything anyway. You have nothing to worry about." 

Yusaku waited until Ai was done rubbing their cheeks together and pulled away. "Then why the dress?" 

"Yusaku, you're perverted. Come, come," Ai said as he tugged on a baffled Yusaku and sat him on the room's couch. He dragged the room's table closer to Yusaku, the food ready to eat. 

"Oh, the food's cold," Ai pouted and opened the cabinets. "Where is the microwave…" 

"It's fine, I don't mind it cold." 

Ai turned his head. "Are you sure— NO! Stop!" 

Yusaku jolted and lowered the katsu piece he was about to eat. Ai launched himself to the couch with enough force to rattle it. "Ai! Calm down," Yusaku scolded, but Ai didn't listen as he plucked the chopsticks from Yusaku's hand. 

"Allow me to feed you, master. What kind of maid would I be if I couldn't even feed my master?" Ai asked as he pressed a curled finger against his lips and batted his eyelashes at Yusaku. His gesture was meant to be accompanied by shoujo sparkles and a rosy background with large iridescent bubbles, but the chopsticks still in his grasp might have ruined the image. 

Yusaku, however, in all his cold-hearted glory was immune. "This again? No, it's fine, I can feed myself."

"But I want to! Besides, you said you were tired, which means you're too tired to feed yourself." 

Yusaku's eyebrow furrowed as he stared at Ai. "That makes no sense. It's fine, Ai." A pause, then a sigh as he leaned back slightly. "Fine, you can feed me." 

Ai cheered and picked up the piece of katsu Yusaku abandoned earlier. "Say aa."

Yusaku did not say "aa," but he did eat the katsu when Ai brought it close to his mouth. He's pouting again, eyebrows locked in his signature frown. 

"Aww Yusaku-chan you look so cute when you're grumpy like that. How's the food?" 

"Alright. I've had better leftovers."

"I'll be sure to leave a one star review for you master." 

"You will not." 

"Yes master." 

Ai gradually fed Yusaku the bowl until Yusaku held up a hand. 

"Just one more bite, master, you're almost done." 

Yusaku ignored Ai's request and instead pulled at Ai's ascot, which easily came undone. He froze as Yusaku clenched the cloth strands together and tugged him to crush their lips together. 

Yusaku's fist was a heavy weight against Ai's throat, preventing an easy escape. Ai looped his arms around Yusaku so that his hands met at the base of his back. 

Even if they had kissed plenty of times, nothing could prepare him for the pleasure of being able to properly return those kisses. To feel Yusaku's lips pressed against his own, to cradle his head in his hand and entangle his fingers in his short hair. Ai slipped his tongue past Yusaku's lips and he let out a surprised hum. 

Yusaku placed his other hand on Ai's shoulder and pushed down his sleeve as he moved closer. Ai briefly thought about teasing Yusaku but decided against it as that would mean stopping the kiss to speak.

The kiss didn't last much longer as Yusaku pulled back and released his hold on Ai's clothes. "I'm going to sleep now. Return that SOLtis to the hotel already." 

Fans working on overdrive but still feeling heated, Ai stood with automatic stiff movements, embodying the robotic nature he was supposed to be. While Yusaku wandered off, Ai put away the leftovers and replaced his maid dress with the SOLtis' clothing, then relinquished control over the captured SOLtis, which returned to work without a fuss. 

#

On the journey back to Den City, Yusaku was in a much better mood as he leaned against the train wall, his duel disk arm slung over his abdomen.

This time, however, Ai was in a worse mood than he was at the start. "Well, that wasn't much of a vacation at all!"

Yusaku blinked down at him. "It was relaxing."

"We only went out for one day! And it wasn't even a full day either, I had to spend the first half of it begging!"

"But we went out." Yusaku frowned. "Didn't you have fun? I thought the local shrines were pretty." 

"You worked almost the entire time!" 

"At my own pace, with no outside interference." 

"No! You're supposed to go out and eat to your heart's content on vacations!"

"If that's your standard of a vacation, then it's not a very good one." 

Ai crossed his arms. "Your standard is even worse! You're not supposed to work on vacation!"

"It's a shame about that maid dress. What even happened to it?" 

Ai brightened immediately. "I put it with the rest of your clothes! I got it in your size so you can wear it whenever you want~" 

Yusaku made a slightly disturbed face. "I'm not wearing that." 

"Oh, which reminds me." Ai sunk into the duel disk and popped back out arms raised high, wearing a miniature version of the maid dress. "Tada! I made a small version of it for your viewing pleasure." 

Yusaku looked away with a bored expression. "Thanks."

"Hey! Pay more attention to me! I worked hard making this for you!" 

[thebigfudanshi]

So this is a really stupid idea for an origin. Bite me if you make fun but all the rest a yas (like one person) can keep on if you'd like to. You can skip to the part in brackets for all RAE but there's an explanation for Dook's behavior in my idea below this.

So I have a poodle, this comes into play. So my dog, Phoebe, she acts completely normal around me, and for the most part the rest of the family. She gets a little excited to see her human "grandparents" but nothing too bad.

But... Here's the thing. Everybody in my house is under 5'6 and we're all AFAB. So we all have quite feminine voices still. Whenever cis men come in the house, I've seen this with three people, Phoebe goes insane. The first issue with that is peeing everywhere but that's not gonna pertain to my idea. But whenever someone, say my best friend comes over, she gets super excited, and she runs over and she pees, yes, but what catches my eye is how her floppy ears slick back, and her tail goes crazy, and she gets all haunched and stuff and she'll even sit down despite, the mess, just to get smaller. My best friend is literally like, 5'9, he is goddamn massive to me (5'3) If the guy makes even a little movement that isn't slow and calm as much as he tries, she freaks out and she runs off and continues the mess.

I know exactly what the behavior is. It's submission. Normal dog stuff for her, it's something I'm working on with positive training.

(Okay here's the RAE part)

I feel kinda terrible I wanna do that to Dook. Like not me doing it specifically, but I wanna like. Write it. Beach Bear is tall as shit, yeah? So is my best friend. You see where I'm going?

My idea is that it's around whenever Dook would've joined. I imagine he's the last to join because he was drawn as dingo in certain showbiz pictures and a mug or two with his beta design. Anyway, if he was the last to join, I could honestly imagine he found the gig in a damn newspaper, or one of the group walked up to him like "you look like you play drums. You play drums?" And he's like "aww yeah I play some slamming drums." And Fatz I guess is just like "cool, come play and we'll see."

So Dook like, walks into the place where they record, and he's getting introduced like "that's Mitzi. Touch her and you die." And little Mitzi's already making herself comfy with Dook by like, petting him or something like kids (11 yr olds?) Would do. And Rolfe's all snarky with his meeting cause that's just his default demeanor, and I feel like that's where Dook and Rolfe would start a friendly canine rivalry. He remeets fatz under his own description as the leader, all puffing out his suit coat. And Billy bobs all nice and sweet and takes his hand to greet him like he did all the others like "great to meet our new drummer." And he picks up Choo Choo's little hand cause he's holding him, and Dook takes his tiny hand to shake because mans adores kids, And Dook's all caught up with the rest of them and meeting people, and he's seen Billy Bob so, here's all the band.

And then Fatz points literally a foot to his side and hes like. "Oh yeah, and that's Beach Bear." And Dook turns to him, like to his leg essentially and he's like. "Yo I thought you had weird decoration skills. You name em too?" And Beach Bear like, whacks an ear like "I am very alive."

And Dook looks up at him and he's met with the single tallest mf he's ever seen in his life, and he just, goes completely submissive because 'Jesus Christ that's not weird decoration?' And then 'oh my god I've been standing next to someone and ignored them for like ten minutes' and also 'HOLY FUCK THATS A BIG BITCH!'

So Dook's like mentally devolving and at the same time he's unconsciously like, trying to look smaller, and his ears are like, swaying all wonky cause they can't figure out whether to cower back or bounce around like mad, and they slick back, and he's all wagging and confused and hunching into himself but he's literally smiling like crazy and Beach Bear's like 'Dude, you look like youre gonna throw up, are you getting vertigo just lookin' at me?' And he's all joking and flirty because he deals with this with every new person he meets, and Dook's like "nah I'm getting butterflies just lookin' at cha what the fuck? How??? You are massive! Oh my god you're amazing. Amazing tall!" Just waving at his fucking everything cause hes GIGANTIC. And I feel like Dook's gotta have a thing for tall people, because he dated a pitbull and those are definitely bigger then cavaliers/beagles and I hc he loves poodles too because 80s and jgjhebdigns

Basically Dook falls head over heels instantly and he's doing the whole run and dance of the submission thing (minus the gross parts), and I feel like ROLFE would be the one to point it out. Because he's a bit of an ass sometimes, but I also feel like Rolfe knows everything about wolf/dog mannerisms specifically to not get caught doing them. So he'd point it out like "Did you seriously not see him? That's the first thing I saw when I came in. Are you gonna start freaking out when I stand next to you too?" Cause Rolfe's like 6'0 and Dook goes all indignant, crossing his arms. "I saw him! And I thought he was a lamp. Big deal. I'm not freaking out. Youre the one whos- staring." And he like, grabs his tail cause it's swinging like crazy but he keeps fuckin missing it and Rolfe's smirk just progressively smears wider and Dook's going red cause he can't grab his goddamn tail and now Beach Bear's looking at him funny and he just gives up, stamps a foot and crosses his arms and he's like "I don't appreciate how I'm being treated."

And Billy Bob starts laughing and he puts an arm on Fatz shoulder. "He's gonna fit right in, don't you think?" Fatz says and Billy bobs nodding like, "yeah, he's gonna get right under Rolfe's shirt like the other two." And he's pointing between Dook, beach and Mitzi who have kinda crowded on one side, and they're devolving into fucking with Rolfe and Rolfes fucking with them back, and Mitzi's like, switching between hurling words at Rolfe to visciously question Dook and he doesn't have time to answer any of them because she's swapping like a multitask queen, And Looney Bird pops out his can blazing drunk like "WHOOOO ROCKAFIRE EXPLOSION!"

and that's how the origin goes ppbt.

[talonflamee]

ok here are some (hopefully comprehensible) thoughts i have on pokemon violet so far:

- i actually think the game looks quite nice graphically. the models and animations are great; there are noticeable textures on both the humans and pokemon that i think work pretty well. the environment looks better compared to pokemon legends, especially the trees

- that being said, the game runs extremely poorly. there literally wasn’t a single point in my 2 hours of docked playtime where i was getting more than 20 fps. although handheld seems to perform a bit better. there are frequent visual glitches that i just can’t ignore. we all knew this was going to happen but like. god damn. i really don’t care about the graphics as long as a game runs smoothly because i get extremely annoyed by choppy gameplay. so my enjoyment has been majorly reduced to say the least

- music is great. audio sounds kind of wonky though, like i’m hearing it through a vacuum or something? not sure if that’s just me

- i like a lot of the new pokemon and character designs. there are always gonna be weird bad creatures, but the ones i’ve seen so far are pretty good. not nearly as many birds as there should be though…………..

- i’m SUCH a sucker for the “young kid befriends an injured, powerful wild animal” trope. i like how you meet the legendary so early on and they actually want to help you out instead of just being caught, it’s really cute. miraidon and koraidon have genuinely fantastic designs, extremely good

- fairly small complaint, but i think the camera controls are annoying. i don’t like how it automatically resets whenever you start walking

- i love that pokemon can walk beside you while exploring. but i can’t figure out how to keep them out of their balls for longer than like 2 minutes? does anyone know if that’s just how it is that they try to find items and then go back into their balls?

- seemingly no way to interact with your pokemon beyond pressing A next to them. we lost a part of ourselves when pokemon amie died….

- i genuinely really don’t like that all the wild pokemon are out in the open now. i think that was an awful decision to remove random encounters entirely. i was really hoping that wouldn’t stick after PLA

so overall i’m having fun with it. it’s pokemon, of course i am. but i don’t understand why it couldn’t have waited another few years to be released. the switch is a bit underpowered compared to other consoles, yes, but there are plenty of big, open-world games i’ve played that don’t have nearly as many performance issues as this. i’d much rather wait 5+ years between major release titles and get a well-polished game where i know the artists and writers were treated well and given time to actually have like. a life outside of work.

i love quaxly sooooo much

[piracytheorist]

what exactly is a girlboss and how does it relate to mia winters? saw someone in the tags say it. this ask coming from me having actually googled the term and still not entirely clear on any of it

Another example of Alan being ignored. the picture of Mia, Alan, Evie (all dressed in dark clothing which is why they stood out to me) and Miranda and the other (currently un- named) researchers found in Mirandas lab in Village somehow means to some that Mia was promoted to researcher?

You know, I don't have a very clear meaning of the word "girlboss" in my mind either. I'm kinda thinking that it's meant to describe a female character who kicks ass and takes no shit. Like the Strong Female CharacterTM some media try to make by making their women badasses without caring too much for character depth. But when using "girlboss" I feel we refer to a female character who kicks ass and honestly we don't care if she's morally wrong or right. She just looks sexy doing it and that's all that matters. Not that some girlbosses don't have character depth or motivation, just that the existence or lack of those don't affect a character's status as "girlboss". I don't know if I made that clear lol.

When it comes to Mia, well, she's not the conventional definition of BadassTM, but she knows how to use a gun and has an entire portion of re7 of herself going into a shipwreck to save her husband, killing mold monsters along the way. Then in re8, she has a metal pole at the ready against a machine gun. She's brave, she's dedicated, she doesn't hesitate to get her hands dirty. For me that makes her a girlboss, regardless of whether you're willing to understand her character motivations or not.

What you say about Alan I think it's the result of people depending too much on the wiki. I haven't checked it in a while, but last time I did it said something along the lines of "Mia made a deal with the BSAA to not tell Ethan anything about her previous life" which is only an assumption based on that line from the Baker Incident Report:

Maybe it's just me not caring about hating Mia, but I don't see how this proves Mia made a deal with them to not tell Ethan. It's not like Ethan didn't suspect anything, like, it's ridiculous, do they think he spent three years with Mia, continuously asking her about her past, her not telling him, and him still staying with her and having a kid with her?? That's just stupid.

But, the wiki does imply she did, so with a lot of people who don't care about spending time looking through all the sources (and like, I don't blame them, they're not obligated to) and depend on the wiki to learn about the story, they get the wrong idea. The wiki is what also says that Mia was a researcher for the Connections, and that was taken from a guide-kind of book about re7 that was published in Japanese only so we're depending on fan translations for that, and those carry a high risk of inaccuracies. Now since we don't have any more details about that - like, what kind of research did she do? Was it about Eveline in specific? Cause the files in re7 only call her Eveline's handler, and that's way different than being a researcher actively doing experiments on her - it's a bit of a wonky situation in general. The game says other stuff, the guide book says other.

And frankly, I don't know how the hell it would make sense for her to be a researcher. In the photo she wears plain clothes and jeans (like Alan), while the others are in lab coats. Why would she not wear a lab coat if she was taking part in the whole "research"? Also, a shit ton of people just ignore the fact that the Connections just left Mia to rot in the Baker house and chose Lucas of all people to monitor the situation through. If she was a high-position researcher that was full-on sold on bioterrorism and knew every little significant detail about the Eveline project... y'all think they would have left her there??? If she was significant to the organization, you think they wouldn't care to rescue her? And if she had too much info as a high-up, you think they would have risked her surviving, getting away and ratting them out?? Bitch come on. It's fine if you don't like her but don't try to justify that with poor research on the topic. (That's not aimed at you, anon, that's aimed at all those people who scream bloody murder the moment you try and explain that Mia is not Evil incarnated upon Earth)

[empress-of-hugs]

A Fifty-Fifty Chance

Click the title to read on AO3

“Here,” Jason handed him two towels and a washcloth. “The bathroom is through here.” He guided him through the small apartment’s only bedroom, wet socks sopping across the brown carpet. Jason opened a door and motioned awkwardly. “I know it’s kinda cramped in there, but –” 

“It’s fine, Jason,” David said softly, trying to calm the other man down. “I don’t need much.” He shivered in his wet clothes. “Just a hot shower.” 

Jason nodded. “Yeah, uh, just use whatever you need. I’ll make some hot coffee.” 

David nodded back before squeezing his body through the small gap between Jason and the doorway. “I’ll be quick!” he promised before closing the door. 

Jason had been right, he realized as he looked around. The bathroom was so tiny that the only available floor space was already taken up by him simply being there. There was no space for a towel rack either, so he just laid the folded towels down on top of the sink – since the few precious inches of counter space were taken up by Jason’s toothbrush, toothpaste, and comb. David reached into the shower, turning the hot water on before hurrying out of his wet clothes. There was no hamper in here – not that there’d been space for one – so David resolved to just leave his dripping clothes on the tiled floor. He checked once again that the door was closed before stepping under the blissfully warm water. 

For a few seconds, he simply stood. Allowing the water to cascade down his shivering body, warming him back up after what seemed like an eternity in the cold rain. He still couldn’t believe Jason’s car had just given out like that. Well, if he had to be honest, he could believe that part. But then, as he pulled over to help his friend, his own car had decided that even though he filled up the tank not that long ago, it was empty now. David frowned for a moment. When had he filled up the tank last? He honestly couldn’t remember, but it couldn’t have been more than a week ago, right? He sighed. It probably had been longer than that, he had to admit to himself. 

His body shivered violently, pulling him back to the present. It hadn’t started to rain until they decided to walk back to Jason’s place. They’d barely cleared a block before the sky opened up and dumped out every last drop of water it had. Still, they’d walked, deciding that they’d use Jason’s landline to call for a tow since they hadn’t seen a single pay phone yet. By now David was sure their plan was going to get changed, given that neither one of them was going to be in the mood to go back out there, even if their cars were only about six blocks from here. 

“How the hell did we get this soaked in such a short time?” David muttered to himself. 

“I’m sorry?” The voice rang out from the other side of the door, reminding David that he wasn’t alone – and that he was probably using up all of Jason’s hot water. 

“Nothing, just… complaining to myself.” David chuckled. “I think I was wetter before I got into the shower.” 

Jason let out a short laugh. “I’ve put some dry clothes on the bed for you. When you’re done changing, let me know so I can take a shower too.” 

“Yeah, I’ll be out there in a minute.” David grabbed the soap from its little tray, quickly lathering himself up. After, he took just a little of Jason’s shampoo to wash his hair. The bottle was close to empty, and he tried to use as little as possible. After just a few more seconds under the heavenly stream of warm water, he forced himself to turn the shower off and get out. Jason deserved a warm shower too. 

He dried himself off, then wrapped a towel around his waist before opening the door. The bedroom was empty, but he could hear Jason puttering about on the other side of the door. David shook his head and tried to ignore the somewhat uncomfortable feeling that settled in his stomach. Instead, he turned to the bed. Jason had left him some warm and soft sweatpants, a faded T-shirt, and a warm quarter-zip. On the wonky table next to the bed stood a steaming mug of coffee; the best thing Jason could have left him. He grabbed it and took a large sip.  

“You about done?” Jason called from the other side of the wall. 

“Yeah,” David said immediately, feeling guilty for making his friend wait, in his own apartment no less. “Yeah, I’m done.” 

Jason appeared in the doorway. He’d shed his soaked jeans and sweater, opting to walk around in a dark blue robe instead. He raised an eyebrow at David. “I know coffee warms a man’s soul and all, but are you gonna be wearing a towel around the house all night?” 

David looked down in embarrassment. “I may have gotten a little distracted. Oh, and I didn’t know what to do with my clothes so they’re currently still on the floor in the bathroom.” 

Jason nodded. “I’ll deal with them after my shower. I don’t feel like going down to the laundry room just yet.” He moved through the room, placing a hand on David’s back as he squeezed past. “If the clothes are no good, you can check the dresser to see if there’s something you’d rather have.” He didn’t wait for an answer, decidedly closing the bathroom door behind him. 

For a moment, David didn’t know what to do. He felt he’d somehow insulted Jason, but had no idea how to make it up to him. So he just stood there and drank his coffee instead. As he did so, his gaze swept across the small room. Jason’s queen size was propped up against the wall; the wobbly table that had supported his coffee clearly served as a bedside table. David noted the reading light and the stack of books next to it. There was a glass, still half-full of water. Next to it, a bottle of reds. David looked away as he noticed them. It felt like an invasion of privacy to even notice Jason’s sleeping pills. 

David quickly set down his mostly-empty mug and reached for the clothes. He’d better be dressed before Jason was done with his shower. After he’d put on the sweatpants, T-shirt, and sweater, something still felt missing. David scoured the bed, but the only thing there was a quilted comforter and two pillows. No socks. He let out a soft breath and turned to the dressers. There were two, he noticed. A low one at the foot of the bed, and another in the corner next to the window. David thought about it for a moment. He could just ask Jason, but the shower had just turned on and he didn’t want to bother his friend when he was enjoying the hot water on his cold skin. So. Which dresser was more likely to hold socks? Going by his own logic, it had to be the one by the bed. If this was his bedroom, that’s where he’d keep his socks and underwear. David hesitated. What if he opened the wrong drawer?

David shook his head. If he happened to open the wrong drawer, he was simply going to be an adult about it and check the next one. Jason's underwear was bound to be no different than his own. 

He decidedly walked to the foot of the bed, feeling Jason's worn shag carpet tickle between his toes. The dresser only had two drawers in it. This was good. It meant he had a fifty-fifty chance of finding socks. 

And also a fifty-fifty chance of finding underwear. 

He wasn’t going to think about it, he decided. Underwear was probably the first thing Jason would grab, so it would be in the top drawer. Which meant that the socks had to be in the bottom drawer. David pulled it open before he gave himself another chance to hesitate.

Underwear. 

David swallowed, closing the drawer that had revealed to him that Jason wore simple white briefs. Every day. For a moment, he simply stood, trying to un-know what he now knew. It wasn’t working. He might as well get his damned socks, then. 

He opened the top drawer, convinced he’d see rows of neatly rolled dark socks; the ones he knew Jason wore. For a moment, his brain couldn’t process what his eyes were looking at. The only thing that he knew for certain, was that those were not socks. 

He took a deep breath. He knew he ought to close the drawer. He knew that Jason’s personal effects were none of his damn business. His hand gently pushed against the drawer, but not so hard that it would close. He couldn’t make himself do it. David swallowed. 

In the bathroom, the shower was turned off, but David didn’t realize it. He still stared at the small yet impressive collection in Jason’s drawer. In a way, it made sense. If he were into using these kinds of things, he’d probably put them in this drawer too, given that there was only a table next to the bed, and seemingly no space under it. His hand trembled. Part of him wanted to pick one of them up, but he wasn’t too sure that would be a good idea. Jason might realize if he disturbed them. And even if he didn’t, David told himself, it was bound to be unsanitary. 

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Jason’s tuneless whistling. He realized it was the only sound in the apartment. Any moment now, the bathroom door would open and Jason would find him hunched over his most private belongings. David shivered. He quickly closed the drawer and fled the bedroom, just as the bathroom door opened.  He was going to find Jason’s phone. And he was going to order a pizza. And he was never, ever going to mention what was in that drawer.

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision (#35)

35. NORWAY Subwoolfer - “Give that wolf a banana” 10th place

Decade rank: 70/79 [Above Sheldon, below Efendi]

You’d expect them to be higher, but nope!

We interrupt this bashfest of Sad Emo Boi Ballads to shred some fuckin’ nihilistic novelty that -true to form- makes me feel absolutely NOTHING! Which honestly, given *the sort of entry* this is, is a giant fucking red flag for its (lack of) quality. 

For some reason I convinced myself that I had always vaguely liked Subwoolfer before Eurovision, but oops here’s the review I wrote *before* their first live in MGP:

Way to go, me from the past!! I guess my pre-show appreciation was merely spillover relief that they won that *DREADFUL* National Final (if you want a sense of how brain-numbingly stupid MGP2022 was: Subwoolfer aren’t even amongst the 10 dumbest things about it! Imagine THAT!)

Regardless, my impression of Subwoolfer was always one of an act that isn’t nearly as witty or original as it thinks it is. It is effectively what a bunch of marketing researchers would come up with if you asked them to design a viral hit by strictly looking at census data. “HA HA HA! Masked singers in space wolf suits singing utter nonsense while doing a meme dance! HA HA HA HA! Are you not entertained?!”

Sadly the answer to that is: “not really”. First off, EVERYONE already knew Subwoolfer were Ben Adams and Gaute Ormåsen before they even won the NF, so fuck your mystery and shove it, Norway.

Secondly, once you get through the initial ‘wtf did I just watch” phase, it becomes stale alarmingly fast. For all its “ZOMG SPACE WOLF” bluster, “Give that wolf a banana” is formulaic and bland, and I blame a fucking lack of chutzpah.. 

Sadly, Subwoolfer also chose to take themselves seriously as a Joke Act and didn’t content themselves with merely being likeable gimmick filler. (a role they would have been fine in! “Dads in wonky outfits doing stupid meaningless shit for funsies” is Circus Mircus’s entire appeal!). The Concept Demanded however that Subwoolfer go viral AT ALLLLL COSTS!!!! So they tried, with a level of desperation usually reserved for Jessika Muscat’s MESC entries, and failed. Multiple times.  

A wise individual would simply accept that “well, perhaps the overal project just isn’t that good” and leave it at that, hoping for the best, but nope, not these eejits. 

Soon enough my enjoyment of “Give that wolf a banana” would be directly tied to my willingness to put up with the increasedly inane and obsequious bullshit they were spewing JUST to maintain a modicum of relevance. They lost me somewhere between “FUN FACT: “Give That Wolf” is actually a pro-vaccination anthem, where 🐺🐺 = 🦠 and 🍌= 💉 ” [ah, ain’t nothing like openly ridiculing a pandemic that killed millions of people] and “DID YOU KNOW THAT JIM AND KEITH ARE NON-BINAIRY?   our 3000 year old space wolves are really woke! 🚀🐺”, [despite having male names and wearing male clothes and being played by cisgender men]  Like, OKAY, now is the time to shut the hell up 🙂

(Also we don’t care if and when and where TIX wore that DJ Austronaut costume or not. How about you rely on a good song/gimmick instead of pulling some more extraneous BULLSHIT?!)

Eurotwitter still lapped it all up, ofc, as if we needed more proof you need to fail an IQ test to be a part of that community. The Casuals *and* Radio DJs I will point out  completely ignored Norway, and instead were discussing the amazing entries from the UK and Serbia, two songs that *did* go viral because they were, in addition to great acts, ALSO great songs! 😁

but sure, secure that top 10 so NRK doesn’t have to learn from their mistakes and can FINALLY get their overdue NQ in 2023, I guess.

THE RANKING: 

35. NORWAY - Subwoolfer - “Give that wolf a banana” 36. AUSTRALIA - Sheldon Riley - “Not the same” 37. SWITZERLAND - Marius Bear - “Boys do cry” 38. AZERBAIJAN - Nadir Rustamli - “Fade to black” 39. ITALY - Mahmood & Blanco - “Brividi” 40. ISRAEL - Michael Ben David - “I.M”

[zumpietoo]

Anyway....Back to stillbitter...

dutha

I agree here---and, again, RAS “innocent” and “intellectually disabled” are not one and the same....and

A) it would’ve been Gloria’s ex-ex-husband (he was #2, she’d already married and divorced 2 moar by 1955)

B) Sunset Boulevard was released in mid-1950 and a HUGE critical and financial success...while Douchie would’ve been 11/12 at the time, still.....that’s some significant under rock ignorance, there....

Oh and the Brown Derby chain was started in the 20s, so hardly anything new, there....

No, she’s going to live with Smithers.....agreed about handling the “racism” plot....especially since I don’t think teachers asked students to share their feel-feels all that much in 1955 (tho I could be wrong???)....

Umm....stillbitter, how have you never heard of “cuz the script says so”? I mean, I get I pick apart this shit, but LBR, if ever there were a case......also, quite obvious mind-wiped 50s Juggie has to uncover something in the 50s that will purify the world....I’m still guessing it’s that he needs to fall in love with Tabi as a teen.....

Meant to reflect the modern world, dullard? It’s from Tabi and Cole loves the paper crown!

I think you mean THE Kiss was rough.....for youuuuu!!!

1. For RAS to fap to

2.Funny line about Douchie, but it’s quite obvious we’re meant to think they look 16, etc....it’s why there are also ded characters now alive....

3. Jug’s been homeless/on his own multiple times before, it’s precisely WHY he finds himself in the railroad car.....kinda obvious this is, essentially, like the curse in OUaT----so until they were placed there, nothing existed in this capacity...we already know Jug goes to work for Pep Comics soon enough...and he’s (and Vermin’s) 16/17, not SIX....(and, again, she has clearly some sort of nanny or Smithers)

4. Because you’re an insane, obsessed dullard....ever here of “off grid”? Peeps do it, even now.....and in 1955, while most homes did have electricity in the US, that was a huge change from just 20 years earlier, when only 50% did. 

It’s also possible to poop outside/use an outhouse and Jug’s the same guy who lived in a closet/showered at school.....also, please remember, dumbass----mankind have survived thousands of years, in relative comfort, without this shit....(ironically, if you used an even newer convenience, google, you’d know THAT). 

5. Presumably all of these are issues to overcome to curse break, if you will----and, again, the train car is abandoned, the trailer was Jug’s home...(and I think a hybrid garage/trailer---merely meant as high design concept)..

I have questions, too.....but mine are moar practical:

The Korean War was from 1950 - 1953, assuming St. Frank is the same age as FP, he would be 50 in 1955, had he lived....or 45 when the conflict started. Waaayyyyy past draftable age and much moar likely would’ve been drafted/served in WWII and thus exempt from service in the Korean War, anyway.....even if a decade younger, the numbers are still fairly wonky and he would’ve been even moar likely to have served in WWII.

How TF does Mary support herself and Douchie on part time wages as a dress shop clerk (I think RAS stole that one from Peyton Place....)??? War widows’ pensions aren’t all that impressive....

https://www.va.gov/pension/survivors-pension-rates/

In fact, they’re embarrassingly bad...even if St. Frank left life insurance, doubtful it was that impressive

[whorefordazai]

taking care of a drunk s/o

pairings; dazai | chuuya | oda | atsushi x gn!reader

genre; fluff | wc; 1.9k

warnings; mentions of alcohol

notes; @hanazou requested — In remembrance to the chaotic episode of our friendship when you, @its-chuuya-bitch , and I were simultaneously not sober, I present myself bearing a humble request where Dazai, Chuuya, and Oda (bonus Atsushi if you desire such) takes care of a drunken s/o. go wild — these were strangely comforting to write since i have no company when i’m not sober🧍🏻‍♀️

dazai

he definitely drinks a lot. he’s just good at hiding it so people won’t worry. he usually doesn’t take care ?? of people ?? but for some reason, he’s getting a bit over protective of you and it’s baffling him but he’s ignoring it for now 💫

“daaZaiEeii, wHere aRe yoUu…” is all he manages to hear before he feels something soft slump against his back, making him blink in surprise. he soon realizes it’s you (which then he has to stifle a chuckle because your cheek is smushed up against his shoulder, empty cup hanging still off your hand).

“oh dear,” dazai mumbles, raising his brows. he bites his lips to stop a smile. he tries adjusting your arms to hang over his, slipping his hand around your waist. “how much did you drink?”

“not enough. need more.” your words are slurred, an obvious giggle escaping your throat as you try to shuffle out of his touch. but he’s quick to push you back into his arms. he shakes his head. “i don’t think so,” and quite literally says no 💗 to your face

first thing he does is gets you to lie down because that’s what a good boyfriend would do in any given situation, right? no. very much no. he just turns his back for a split second to get you a glass of water but you’ve got other plans. within minutes he’s faced with an empty bed where you’re not there. nervous panics >:0

“hey~where are you~please come out~i don’t bite~at least not this time~”

and then he hears it—from under the table, he can sense sounds of shuffling feet and muffled giggles. inching closer, he waits a moment before peaking down. met face to face with your eyes, he smiles. “caught you!”

you gasp. “caught me…!” you let out an excited squeal, scrambling to get away. but under the small table there’s isn’t much room to move around, so dazai ends up being pulled under with you. suddenly you’re pulled up against him, face buried in his neck. his lips part in shock. half his legs are dangling out from under the table (one might even mistake him for a dead body 🤔) but it’s okay because you’re falling asleep on his chest

“we can sleep under the table.” you mumble in a doze.

“but—”

“no buts. no objections. i like it here.”

a smile tugs at the corner of his lips. he pushes away bits of hair from your cheeks. “you’re going to complain about your ass hurting when you wake up.”

falling asleep together all wonky under the table, romantic i know. however, dazai is prepared to deal with you once you’ve woken up. he’s already got pain killers and a glass of water when you groan in pain. “what happened last night?” you mumble. his hands lightly massage your shoulders. “you were wasted, angel. it was pretty fun to watch~”

you flop back down in bed. bits and pieces from the night before are all coming back. you look at dazai. “my ass hurts.”

he stares back, a frown on his face. “my ass hurts too.”

chuuya

man if you’re getting drunk so is he 🤨 there are now two intoxicated fools instead of one. and you know what happens when two lovers drink together at once? a mess. that’s what happens.

let’s just pretend he isn’t as drunk as you are. (come to think of it, aku is probably the one who drags him home when he drinks to the point he can’t stand ಥ‿ಥ) so he probably isn’t sure how to take care of someone else when they’re the one who’s intoxicated.

“why are you falling on top of me?”

“you’re falling on top of me too!”

basically the both of you trying to balance on one another while stumbling home in a drunken mess. once you manage to get home, chuuya immediately flops onto bed with all his clothes still on. and so the only logical thing you can do is flop down right next to him.

“chuuya, did you know i love you a lot?”

he’s too out of it to give his usual response in denial. “what the hell? of course i know.”

“well did you know i like your clothing style a lot. and your hat. and your choker. and—”

“w-what’s with the sudden compliments?!” he jerks up, cocking a brow and cheeks dusted pink. you shrug, shuffling closer to his body. “idk i think it’s because i accidentally stained your white shirts with red wine hehe.”

he’s finally got a taste of his own medicine and he does not like it one bit ಠ_ಠ you’re both menaces when intoxicated.

“chuuya, give me a piggy back ride.”

“…but we’re literally in bed.”

“doesn’t matter??” you scoff, rolling him over on his stomach and climbing on top of his back. he is confused, appalled, turned on, and a bit angry. “I CANNOT BREATHE.” he groans out, waving his arms around with no luck. you, on the other hand, have made yourself comfortable on top of his back and have fallen asleep. good for you! good for you.

the both of you just end up falling asleep like that because chuuya’s too tired to move you off or do anything about it 🙏 he wakes up with major back pain tho

oda

i think he had to deal with a lot of “tipsy dazai” in the past, so he’s a bit experienced when it comes to taking care of someone when they’re drunk.

first thing he will do is inspect your ability to walk. can you walk? no? yes? doesn’t matter, he’ll carry you anyways. “up you go,” oda softly murmurs, hoisting you on his back, hooking his arms around your thighs as you bury your face in his shoulder. “mhm you smell good”

“but i smell like curry.”

“and i think that smells good. only on you though.”

he blinks at your odd compliment. he thinks you’re strange but nonetheless no one has ever said curry smells good on him so 💀

once he takes you home, he sees you flop down in bed and hide under one of his shirts much like a cat. he’s silently observing you from a distance, watching you aggressively shove your head in the material and roll around in it like it’s a blanket •3•

“here, uh…maybe this will be better?” he clears his throat, wrapping an actual blanket around your body like a burrito. you gasp. “BUT I WANT YOUR SHIRT,” which makes him blink in surprise. okay you’re getting the shirt back🧍🏻‍♀️

he’s a bit stunned at your current state because you’re constantly switching back and forth from “AHAHAHADJFG” to “life has no meaning. no purpose. the void is empty” while rolling around in your makeshift blanket burrito. he carefully sits by your side and lets your head fall to his chest. wrapping an arm around your shoulders, a content sigh leaves his lips. that is, until he feels you aggressively sniffing his shirt.

you squint at him. “you don’t smelly like curry anymore.” he blinks a few times. “because i changed my shirt…” you sniff him again, this time his neck and chest too. “i’m hungry. are you hungry? we should make some food, like, immediately. let’s go.” 🏃🏻‍♀️💨

why do you put him in these situations why are you like this🧍🏻‍♀️

he’s definitely not letting you touch the stove while you’re WASTED™️ so you just settle for marshmallows ?? he’s just going along with your drunk antics at this point so when you shoot out your grabby hands at him, he complies by lifting you up on the counter and shuffling between your knees.

“open your mouth.”

“why—” he is frightened you are frightening him

“just do it.” and so he does. you immediately shove two marshmallows in his mouth. he raises his brows, glancing at your concentrated face. about seven marshmallows later, he taps your cheek. “whai amh i beinh stuff wih marshmellohs”

you just cheekily grin and kiss his forehead. “no reason. i’m just taking a picture for research purposes.”

once you finally pass out on his shoulder, he carries you back to bed and tucks you in goodnight 😴 he’s exhausted, like his back fucking hurts tbh, but a small smile grows on his face when he looks around the messy room full of shirts, marshmallows, and random belongings you played with. you’ve made irreplaceable memories. but he’s the one who needs a drink now

atsushi

he can’t even take care of himself why would you do this to him 😔 but he is going to try his absolute best to take care of you no matter what. he feels like your life has been handed to him, your safety and well being determined by his skills, whether you live or not is up to him, it is a life or death situation and—

“muah~♡” suddenly broken from his trance, atsushi snaps his head towards you. his hand shoots up to his cheek, where you placed a sweet kiss. “what was that for?!” he reddens. you shake your head, as if it’s obvious. “you have kissable cheeks. and lips. and—”

“STOP—” he clamps your mouth shut before you can say anymore obscene things. he holds you upright with an arm around your waist while your head flops and sways in the crook of his neck. to say he’s nervous is an understatement but his determination is what keeps the both of you going all the way home. (with a lot of distractions though).

“maybe we should get you to bed—”

“no let me play with the building blocks.”

“those are pieces of sushi we were supposed to have for dinner T-T…”

hey—you’ve contaminated dinner but at least now you’ve accomplished making a sushi tower. atsushi doesn’t want to endorse this behavior but he’s kind of in awe so he quickly snaps a few pictures and scurries away pretending he didn’t do shit 🤫

“sit down.” you command, pointing to the space in front of you. atsushi squints at you, suspicion in him growing the more he looks at your smiling face. “why…” but he’s learned that you probably won’t answer his question so he just obeys

next thing he knows, he has multiply braids and pigtails in his hair🧍🏻‍♀️

“WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BANGS 😱”

“i made you look so pretty didn’t i (▰˘◡˘▰)”

he looks in the mirror, horrified. and he’s horrified because it doesn’t look half bad which is concerning him because why are you even more talented when you’re drunk help

“such a pretty boy. so cute you’re so beautiful.” you smile, squishing both his cheeks and booping his nose. “stawph…” he is hating it but loving every second of it he’ll never forget any of this it’s permanently burned in his mind 🏃🏻‍♀️

once he’s finally gotten the both of you in bed and the lights off, he lets out a breath of relief. he’s so glad he got you home safe, gave you meds, kept you hydrated and comfy, and made it out alive himself. just when he’s about to doze off to sleep, a voice (that’s creepily close to his ear) wakes him up. he shoots his eyes open to the familiar tone.

“i live in your walls, atsushi~ ♡” ◕ ◡ ◕

“i thought you were asleep, y/n T-T” he’s sobbing.

tag list; @viintom-exe @starglow-xx @griefgender @pickleisrandom @ijustwantfreenetflix @atsushisgf @the-wholesome-ranpo @missshrek @todorokichills @astreankitsune @spoopy-fish-writes @fyodamn @missrown @trashykawahq @scul-pted @gogolyouwhat @jessbeinme15 @bakajinko @shinys-bsd-world-2 @n1kolaiz @greenshirtimagines @wontonjaegerchan @atsushiscocksucker @mushroomplantasia @internetkilledtheroxstar @fashionablyfailing12 @chuuyasboots @bsdparadise @alittlesimp @requiem626k @bsdwhore @3-am-depression @diary-of-a-poltergeist @mars-w0rld @rirk-ke @melloshotgf @kiyokoxd @coveringthebiconissue @hazel0723 @mysticstrawberryballoon @colourless-cora @bbytamaki @nameless-shrimp @meatbun-aku

[shotorozu]

‘hey y’all i’m here w/ my best friend’

tiktok prank

character(s) : todoroki shouto, midoriya izuku, bakugou katsuki (bnha)

based off this tiktok

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : crack, fluff (x reader)

note(s) : yeah so my activity is pretty wonky 💀 anyways have you guys seen how momo looked like in the new episode? hot and the baddest b word in the house, as always

»»————-　♡　————-««

todoroki shouto

you think it’ll be hilarious to see, because his reactions are always top tier

despite his usual stoic and neutral expressions, with you— his expressions are versatile, and he creates expressions no one thought he was even capable of 💀

when your classmates saw your tiktoks, it was shocking to all of them, excluding the obvious, which was you of course

but lowkey, you’re scared 💀 shouto could go from this loving, and sweet boyfriend, to the coldest bitch alive

still, you decide to go through with it

doesn’t think too much when you ask him to be in a tiktok, it’s quite routine at this point— plus, he finds it fun

but the AUDIOO

and shouto’s always willing to be in any tiktok you want him to be in, BUT

‘bestfriend’ 😐❓ who are you calling ‘bestfriend’

stops in place and looks at you like you just slapped him, did he hear that correctly? like,, why the hell are you calling him your ‘bestfriend’

he’s your lover

“boyfriend.” he corrects you stern, but you pretend that you don’t hear the correction, “you mean, you’re here with your boyfriend.”

and yet, you go on like you didn’t hear a thing, shouto’s eyes narrow— and it almost feels like his right side has been activated just slightly

you have to hold back a shiver when he gets real close to you “boyfriend. not best friend, i’m your boyfriend.”

he doesn’t mean to be this worked up about it, it’s just a tiktok— and when you move the camera away, completely ‘unbothered’ he feels himself growing impatient

and when the video ends, the cool atmosphere seems to break into two, when you burst out laughing

“shou, it was just another tiktok prank, we’re way past the bestfriend stage, and you know it!” you poke his cheek, still laughing at his reaction

but, he’s relieved. your acting was good— and he’s glad that he’s not just imagining things.

otherwise he’d have to start acting desperate

the video gets a good amount of views and likes, and comments are INTERESTING “ooo did you see the way he just went up all close 👀” “i can feel the cool aura BWNDKWS” “he got so worked up 🏃💨 oh to have a relationship like that 😔🖐💔”

in short, never address him as your best friend. you either address him as ‘shou’ ‘love’ ‘pretty boy’ or ‘my boyfriend’

midoriya izuku

the trend itself isn’t the funniest thing on tiktok, but it’s the reactions that makes up for it, y’know?

that’s why you decided to pull this ‘prank’ on izuku— his reactions are golden afterall

but a part of you couldn’t help but feel worried if he’d take personal offense 💀

similar to todoroki, your boyfriend is very willing when it comes tiktok pranks— despite it being well,, intense, sometimes

looked SO confused when you called him your ‘bestfriend’ and the smile is WIPED off his face

“b-bestfriend?” he has to make sure he heard it correctly, and he wants to throw a hissy fit when you ignore him

“Y/N?” he nudges his head on your shoulder, not liking the idea of being presented as your best friend, “i’m your boyfriend!” he laughs nervously

literally pouts

the struggle doesn’t last terribly long, as izuku continues to mouth boyfriend, when the word ‘best friend’ is being said (also while he smiles at the camera with awareness, he’s growing petty, can’t you tell?)

and also while he tries to make you look at him, by showcasing a look of innocence while leaning on, just because

when you finally acknowledge him with a stifled laugh, his expression is like 👁👄👁❓❓

yet, izuku’s relieved when you start full on laughing, wonderful laughter falling from your lips, the desperation calming down

and— the sudden mood change is well,, impressive! he was literally distressed from the word ‘best friend’ just a second ago, and now he’s relieved 💀

“r-right, you know i’m not just your best friend,” and he looks into the camera with satisfaction

the tiktok blows up, and comments overall— went insane over him

“mann he was so desperate 💀 he just kept correcting you” “bruh he was like ‘hold up’ 🖐😭” “NEVER call him your best friend again🏃💨 just look at that satisfied look at the end‼️” “aww look at that pout 🤩”

izuku’s surprised, sheepish— when all of his friends inform him about the sudden rise of his appearance on the app (afterall, he’ll still remain with you, even if he got even more popular)

needless to say, izuku will get desperate if you call him your best friend— man already spent some time being called your best friend and he won’t bear being called it for any longer

bakugou katsuki

should,, you be scared? you should be but you’re not 💀 you can’t find yourself fearing death, since you’re dating katsuki bakugou

you say fuck it, and rope katsuki into your tiktok antics once again.

and to any outsider’s eyes, it would be surprising when katsuki joins in on your tiktok schemes

but it not— even though the blond pretends to hate it, he secretly loves doing these with you

except, that statement is ABOUT to be retracted back, when the audio mentions the word ‘best friend’

excuse you? katsuki is faar from being your best friend. that word literally makes him cringe, he hated being stuck in the friend zone even though katsuki looked like he didn’t care when he was still stuck in it

he literally glares at the camera, his palm’s already popping with mini sparks. if you were anyone else, you would’ve started pleading for your life but you fear NOTHING at this point

“who the fuck are you calling best friend??” he’s furious, and you try your best to ignore it, biting back laughter— as you film the tiktok

“i’m talking to you!” he fumes, getting even closer to you— and you don’t seem to budge, as you continue to record

then, he YANKS your phone out of your hands, and starts talking, well yelling— as if the tiktok would record his voice anyway

“i’m their boyfriend thank you very much! now fuck off extras! this ‘bestfriend’ will beat your asses!” he scolds as if he’s talking to the potential viewers, and stops recording— and hands your phone back to you calmly

you’re laughing your ass off, experiencing absolute field day, and he’s just like 😐🖐 looking super unpleased how could he not? he’ll never admit that he was this worked up though

similar to midoriya, the friendzone was a pain in the neck for him— so to make him feel like he was thrown back in it for a tiktok

just because it’s for a tiktok, doesn’t automatically give you an easy pass

“you were SO mad” you laugh at his expression, and he just says

“shut the fuck up, and you better not post that shit!” then proceeds to scoop you up, despite all your protests— and haul you into his room

you gotta give him cuddles, or he’ll be like 👹 a literal demon for the rest of the day.

but on the bright side— you have content‼️and the video did blow up, despite initially telling your boyfriend you wouldn’t 💀

“omg, you don’t fear death, death fears YOU.” “i can literally hear his voice through the screen, we love a protective boyfriend 🤩” “fly high, it’s been 4 hours since they’ve posted 😔🕊”

and when kirishima informed him about his sudden boom of popularity on tiktok, he knew that you had some explaining to do 🧍‍♀️

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[alkhale]

I personnally have a soft spot for Ace/Hoku, why ? Because i'm used to see him being described as kinda a womanizer but he sounded so innocent when he talked about Hoku but the funniest is how easily we understand they're not on the same pages (and Ace should get his mind together !) But like my point is : Hoku endlessly teasing him for the way he took their "promise"

*In another time, post time-skip, somewhere along the Strawhat's journey*

"Vahahaha!"

"Stop laughing," Ace growled, slamming his cup of grog onto the counter. He whirled around on Hoku, ears almost catching fire as the woman beside him continued to laugh, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. He was torn between smacking her off the stool or watching her laugh, chest swelling in pride at the sight of her smile. "Don't you think you've laughed enough?"

"No!" Hoku hollered, clutching her stomach, gasping for breath. Her cheeks were dark red from the alcohol, skin warm, but never warm enough for Ace. Never too hot.

She was drunk.

Hoku didn't get drunk often. Rarely, it seemed, if she could help it. She'd always complained it made her drawings unreliable and her blood wonky, but Ace just figured Pokians took to being drunk a bit differently from the rest. It was only on this particular night because he'd weaseled her into it to make telling her the truth about his misunderstanding that much easier.

Which, admittedly, might have been a mistake on his part.

"I can't—I can't," Hoku wheezed. She was sitting on a bar stool while Ace stood beside her, leaning his back against the counter as he continued to pout. "Oh, oh... my stomach... I'm going to throw up."

"You could've made it clearer," Ace grumbled darkly. Hoku still laughed, unable to help herself. At least now Hoku would forget this whole night happened and Ace could pretend he'd never misunderstood in the first place.

"I never thought—" Hoku chortled. "Never. Repopulate? With me? Hah!"

Hoku almost spilled her drink. Ace moved aside, dodging the splash and refusing to admit he was pouting at Hoku as he crossed his arms over his bare chest.

"It was a reasonable mistake!"

"No, it's crazy!" Hoku laughed. She held her face in her hands, laughing uncontrollably. "Oh, Ace... you... dumbass! Vahahaha!"

I should just put her to bed. Ace ran a hand through his hair, ignoring the little embers on the tips of his ears. And make sure she forgets about this entire thing.

"Alright," Ace said, making appeasing motions with his hands. Hoku blubbered over the rim of her drink, smiling stupidly at him. She's so gone. "I think you've had enough. I don't want your crew gettin' mad at me for bringing you back piss drunk..."

It was a bit nice though, Ace had to admit, taking Hoku's cup and ignoring her drunk whining and the smell of alcohol in the air. Something sweet. Hoku'd brought some special mix with those berries she was so obsessed with. Hoku always seemed wound up in her own way, and drunk she seemed to forget about anything or everything that was bothering her when she was sober.

Happier.

I want to make you happier.

"Still can't believe it," Hoku giggled. Ace rolled his eyes. "Ya were actually gonna have kids? With me?"

Ace growled, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. "Well how else were you gonna—"

"Hmm," Hoku mused, looking as thoughtful as she could while drunk. "Kids with you, huh?"

Ace froze, blinking at her.

Hoku scratched her head, as if trying to imagine it. She blew through her lips, tipping her head to the side with her eyes closed. Ace suddenly felt a bit of chill run down his spine, not unpleasant. Different. Definitely different. His fingertips felt warm. a coiling in his stomach and a little flicker in his chest. Just the thought of Hoku, his shooting star, thinking about the two of them with kids—

He watched the way Hoku's brows furrowed a bit in thought, how her glazed, doey eyes seemed to have found an image she liked and then she turned that drunk, dopey smile his way, cheeks flushed.

"Think we'd be good parents?"

In a split second Ace's own buzzed, overactive imagination saw it too. Boy or girl? Girl. He'd want a daughter for sure. She'd be adorable and rowdy and he'd do anything for her. He'd let her ride on his shoulders, laughing as Hoku called for them from her spot somewhere else, sketchbook discarded to the side. She'd looked just like her mother, Hoku's hair, her eyes and her sneaky little grin—but she'd have his freckles. Something that undeniably said his, him, and Hoku. Them. The two of them. Undeniable proof of the two of them together—here, and—

"Just crazy," Hoku sighed, shaking her head. Ace jolted, reeling himself immediately back to the present and pretending he'd never seen a single thing. "Vahaha..."

"Yeah," Ace said, running a hand through his hair again, unable to get the little image of an adorable little girl with white hair and freckles running to his arms. "Crazy—"

Hoku moved her hand and Ace followed it, he frowned—

"You were gonna put a baby in this?" Hoku pressed a hand to her stomach. "Vahahaha!"

Ace stared.

"Ah," Hoku sighed, leaning back. "That was a good laugh." She hiccupped.

Hoku's cup slipped from Ace's loose fingers, clanking to the floor. She blinked, turning down to look at it. "Hey, ya dropped—woah!"

Hoku pressed a hand to her mouth, making sure she didn't throw up as Ace suddenly hauled her over his shoulder, moving with purpose to the stairs of the inn. "Hey! Where we—hic—goin?"

"To bed," Ace bit out. Hoku let out a shriek of surprise when his opposite shoulder turned to flames, grabbing at the ends of Ace's smoldering hair. "Putting you to bed. That's enough out of you."

I won't be able to handle hearing anything else. Ace bit his lip, flooding his head with thoughts of Dadan. Dadan showering—yup, that did it.

In the morning the only thing he was going to tell Hoku was that in her drunk stupor she suggested he put a baby in her and then he was going to have the last laugh out of that.

- that little girl would sure have a lot of uncles

(and potential half-siblings)