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milswrites · 29 days

Text

Somewhere only we know

~ Azriel X Fem!Reader

Summary: Azriel comes to visit you for the first time in a while.

Warnings: Angsty goodness

He could hear it now; your call beckoning him closer.

The dulcet tones of your laughter echoing amongst the evening birdsong as Azriel approached.

It was a path the shadowsinger had walked a hundred times before. The bowing oak trees and the familiar tune of the flowing beck all working to guide Azriel towards his final destination.

Towards you.

Yet even the forest wasn't safe from the golden hands of time. The gnarled roots and overgrown canopy a glaring sign that it had been far too long since Azriel had last come to see you.

Where he was once able to run freely alongside you, Azriel now found himself uncomfortably squeezing through the wild underbrush. Wings tightly curling into his back out of fear of catching them on the thicket of brambles which now lined the once clear path.

Perhaps a year was too long to wait.

Perhaps Azriel should have visited you sooner.

Your voice continued to grow louder with each step taken, the wind beginning to carry the recognizable scent of your sweet perfume.

Azriel inhaled deeply, allowing the delicate aroma of honeysuckle and jasmine to wash away his worries. A calming peace, that only ever makes itself known when in the presence of your company, began to warmly settle in his chest.

"Hello my love"

Azriel called softly into the air, the gentle twinkling of a wind chime greeting him in response as the evening sun broke through the canopy above to lay a welcoming kiss onto his cheek.

"I've missed you," the shadowsinger continued, moving towards the fallen trunk of a tree in order to take a seat, "I'm sorry I've been gone so long."

Another melodic chime answered, assuring Azriel that his absence needed no excuse.

"But I couldn't miss spending my birthday with you, I don't think you would have let me"

The wind laughed in reply, a soothing breeze coming to caress his smiling cheek as Azriel lifted a shaky hand to meet the ghost of your own.

Eyes beginning to water at your phantom touch, the male cleared his throat before reaching into the pocket of his leathers. "I've brought you a letter," Azriel started to explain, pulling out the carefully folded piece of paper, "of all the things you've missed since I was last here. I wrote it all down just so I didn't forget to tell you anything."

The orange sun glowed a little brighter, so as to provide Azriel with enough light to read his letter. The forest falling into a peaceful silence in order to ensure that you heard every word the shadowsinger had to say.

"Feyre is pregnant again, I think Rhys would kill me if I didn't tell you that first," Azriel grinned at the smile of excitement he could picture you wearing at the news, taking the time to burn the image into his mind before continuing, "Nyx is convinced it's a girl, and if it is her wants her to be named after you of course. He always talks about his favourite auntie."

Azriel allows himself to pause, needing a moment to calm his wavering breath before he could say any more, the harsh lines of a frown beginning to cross his face.

"Cas says hello. He'd come here if he could, you know that. But I don't think I'm quite ready to share this place with anyone else yet. He's fine, Nesta too. They're kept busy by little Sofia most of the time, ever since she learnt how to fly she's been wreaking havoc all over Velaris."

A robin flittered down from the trees, perching by where Azriel was sat, its small head tilted in silent understanding. Appreciating the company, a slight smile flickered across Azriel's lips as he turned his watery eyes back to the letter grasped between his trembling hands.

"Elain and Lucien are finally back from their trip around Prythian. They went to Spring - to that meadow I took you to for our anniversary. She . . . she brought me back some flowers, said they reminded her of you."

Azriel's tears finally began to fall as he carefully folded the letter once more, tucking it away into the safety of his leathers, placing it into the pocket right above his heart.

"And me . . ." Azriel started, voice cracking as he tried to recall what he had done since he was last here, his surroundings taking him back to a time when you had once been sat here with him, "Well I've not really done anything at all."

The male's hands move to clasp onto the two rings resting on a chain around his neck, thumb working to brush the cool metal in the hope of receiving some comfort, "Some days it feels like time has scarcely moved at all . . . On those days I like to close my eyes and picture you - us - here in the forest. Running through the trees like we used to do, hiding from our responsibilities for as long as we could."

Azriel deeply exhaled as he watched the robin fly away, tears still falling as he continued to speak, "And then I open my eyes . . . and remember you're gone" Azriel's words are interrupted by a harrowing sob falling from his lips, "I don't know how much longer I can do this. I'm getting old my love, sometimes I worry that one day I'll come back here and you won't recognize me anymore. That our love will fall victim to the hands of time just as the forest has."

The chimes twinkle once more, a gentle reminder that you are never truly gone, the ever-changing wind whispering promises that your love was one to last for eternity.

"I know" Azriel sadly smiles, letting go of the rings in order to brush away his tears, the thought of your heartbroken expression enough to dry his eyes, "I just miss you, that's all. Not a day goes by where I don't think of you."

The trees lightly rustle in response.

Azriel stayed to talk to you long into the night. The conversation never fading, nor growing dull, even when the moon had said its goodbyes and the sun had risen once more.

If time was all Azriel could offer you these days, then his time was what you would receive. For each hour spent in your special spot, was another hour of keeping your memory alive.

Another hour Azriel got to spend with you.

When the time came for Azriel to reluctantly leave the forest, his responsibilities too pressing to ignore for much longer, the shadowsinger whispered a promise into the wind that he would return once more. Swearing that you would not have to wait so long to see him again.

With each step he took, the scent of rosemary and sweet pea grew stronger, your calming aroma fading as Azriel walked further and further away.

And as Azriel turned to look at you once more, he could have sworn he heard you calling after him. Words unintelligible as your voice became lost amongst the birdsong.

But he could feel it, the assurance that he wasn't alone.

The piece of you that had been trapped here, now safely tucked within the confines of his heart.

So carry you home he would.

#acotar #fanfic #acotar imagine #sarah j maas #a court of thorns and roses #azriel x reader #azriel oneshot #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel imagine #azriel angst

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atticrissfinch · 10 months

Note

i don’t know if your requests are open but:

reader lives in jackson and is friends with tommy, so she sees joel relatively frequently, and they just DONT get along. the reader is young and she’s got a sharp tongue and cheek that irritates the shit out of joel, who shoots back just as much condescending insults. they literally can’t be in a room without getting into it. however, the reader does it for his attention (she’s got daddy issues), and joel doesn’t catch onto this until she’s knocking on his door at midnight because she can’t sleep and she needs him and she doesn’t know how to admit it. he pulls her in the house and absolute filth ensues. he makes her blow him and then they fuck. joel is smug and condescending the whole time, and reader just becomes a ragdoll. Size kink, dirty talk, daddy kink, creampie/breeding, the works PLEASE

Ohooooo nonnie, very well done. This inspired me. So here you go, lovely. I hope I did it justice 🙏

___

Little Bee 🐝 (joel miller x fem!reader) (18+)

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader warnings/tags: [18+ MDNI] jackson!au, no mentions of ellie, dark!joel if you squint, age gap (Joel in his 50s, reader in v early 20s), daddy!kink, size!kink, breeding!kink, brief praise!kink, degradation!kink, dirty talk (of course), ball sucking, pussy slapping, brief f masturbation, oral (m receiving), face-fucking, unprotected piv, rough sex, sorta dubcon creampie, orgasm denial as punishment (reader doesn't come ☹️), pet names/degrading terms (little girl, babygirl, slut, whore [one brief use derogatorily], etc.), mentions of food, mentions of parent death and absentee/neglectful parenting, daddy issues as a plot device word count: ~5k oops | ao3 Masterlist | Kofi

If there was anyone who could stoke the fire inside you, it was Joel Fucking Miller.

Something about the man had you desperately aiming to misbehave, to cause trouble.

And Maria did not like trouble.

She got on your cases constantly, snipping about how the two of you can’t endure each other’s company for two fucking minutes without stirring up a verbal sparring match. Which was truly a feat, she’d remarked once, considering any other person would be hard-pressed to get more than a couple sentences out of Joel on a good day.

But you. You can fiddle with the knobs in Joel’s brain to make him tick. Every fucking time.

Towards the beginning of Joel’s time in Jackson, you had been assigned patrol one time together. The second you had gotten back, Joel strode right up to Maria on an expletive-ridden tirade about what exactly he would do if he was ever partnered with you again.

You won’t lie, you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face for days after that. The way you had gotten under his skin, irritated him to the point of him threatening to backhand you off your horse and leave you to the Infected.

And it hadn’t even been that hard to do, getting under his skin. It became something of a sport for you.

For example, he’d be peacefully eating his breakfast in the dining hall, and you’d just glide by with a, “Don’t choke on your dentures, old man,” and he’d slam his fist on the table and yell loud enough for the entire hall to hear for you to “Fuck off, you little shit!”. You’d cackle into your breakfast burrito while the rest of the hall flinched at the flicker of Joel Miller aggression.

What’s even more funny is that you and Tommy get on just fine. You patrol together pretty consistently and have formed a very amicable relationship. He’s never been able to understand what exactly riles the two of you up, but Tommy would be the first to acknowledge that Joel’s temper can get the better of him. He’s mentioned more than once that Joel really only gets so fired up about people he cares about—that Tommy himself has first-hand experience with those outbursts. He does admit that you really do seem to bring it out of Joel, though.

That fills you with secret satisfaction.

Because from the first day you met Joel, you wanted him to see you. You hate to call it “daddy issues”, but if the shoe fits, you guess. Your father had never wanted you in the first place. Just an old man fooling around with a younger woman and taking it a step too far. Your mother had been bitten when you were seven, leaving you in the hands of a man who knew jack shit about being a father, and even less about you as a person. Just an extra mouth to feed, an extra life to protect. And he’d never let you forget it for a goddamn second. He protected you just enough to seek refuge in Jackson, and then deemed you “the community’s problem”. When the stubborn bastard got himself torn to shreds by a pack of clickers on a patrol a couple years ago, you hadn’t even cried.

Joel had shown up about three months after your father died, in search of his baby brother—to protect his baby brother. And it was fucking over for you.

Joel wouldn’t have looked twice at you if you hadn’t become an incessant little bee buzzing in his ear. Something about him constantly swatting at you fueled your tank. Revved your engine. So you just never stopped buzzing. And he never stopped swatting.

One night, you’re finishing up dinner and spot Joel getting seated on a stretch of bench alone, starting in on his stew. You decide to tempt fate again, pass by with some quip about it being past his bedtime and not dozing off into his dinner. But this time, like the snap of a whip, Joel’s hand lashes out, clamping onto your wrist and yanking you towards him. Honestly, it startles you—thrills you even more.

Then Joel grumbles at you low enough for only you to hear, “You know, one of these days someone’s gonna teach you the consequences of your actions, little girl. And ‘f’you don’t watch yourself, I’m gonna be the one to teach ya. And I’m not known for bein’ gentle.”

You’re close enough to see the threat in his eyes—the promise. And it’s laced with…something. Something that has your blood rushing south and your lip quivering. You jerk your wrist from his hold before you can truly give yourself away, darting out of the dining hall and back to your room as fast as possible.

You don’t even bother to undress as you flop down on your bed and wriggle your jeans down enough to relieve where you’re aching. For him. Imagining his hand on your wrist again, both your wrists, pinning you down and sliding his cock into you as you scream for more. Pounding you senseless as you whisper “Daddy” into his ear.

You come hard and fast, pulsing under your fingers as hot waves flood your body. You would bet everything you own that Joel will be doing the same fucking thing when he gets back to his. If he isn’t already, caught up in the energy of what passed between you two at dinner.

Maybe he snuck into an empty room in the hallway and bit his release into his forearm as he shot the evidence against an unsuspecting wall. Maybe he’s stomping to his house right now, temper flared and pants bulging, flexing his fingers as he pictures your throat under them.

But you know he gets off on it, just like you do. There’s too much pent-up tension. You get off at least four times a week with his face behind your eyelids and your special name reserved for him on your lips.

You know it’s only a matter of time before he makes good on his promise—the yarn is already unraveling.

That night, when you can’t sleep, you make the decision to pull the thread.

A few moments after you knock on his door, you hear a commotion inside. Heavy footfalls on the stairs and a frustrated, “Shit!”

When the door tears open, you’re met with a disheveled yet very alert Joel, mid-way through tugging on a threadbare t-shirt. When he notices who knocked, his hands freeze on the hem of it, leaving his deliciously curved belly on display. Your eyes can’t resist devouring the dark smattering of hair that leads down past the band of his jeans.

Your view is interrupted by him yanking the shirt down the rest of the way with an aggravated, “The goddamn hell are you doin’ bangin’ at my door at this godforsaken hour? There a fuckin’ emergency?”

You reluctantly return your eyes to his, a drowsy fire glowing behind them. His hair is sticking up in odd places, a result that you imagine could only be achieved by rousing him from sleep, or from fingers grabbing at it. His own, or someone else’s maybe. Given the late hour, logic is partial to the first, but the thought of someone else’s hands on him has an anger, a jealousy burning under your skin.

“You got company?”

Joel gives you a look charged with ornery confusion. “Huh? Company? No, I ain’t got fuckin’ company, it’s 2 in the goddamn mornin’. The hell are you doin’ here?”

You suddenly feel incredibly fucking stupid. What the hell were you thinking? You wring your hands together anxiously, eyes falling to the gnarled wood of his porch.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I don’t know why I…”

“There somethin’ goin’ on? You alright?” His voice has a note of compassion in it now. A facet of Joel you had heard before, just never directed at you. It makes your heart throb in your chest.

“Yeah, yeah, no, I’m fine. Everything’s fine.”

“Then what the hell are you doin’ on my porch in the middle of the night, little girl?”

You glance up at him, a twitch in your jaw. “I’m not a little girl.”

Joel scoffs at that, shaking his head as he leans against the doorframe. “Bullshit. You’re a fuckin’ child. Just pushin’ my buttons, push push push, like you want me to fuckin’ explode on ya.”

You can’t believe the bait he just fed you there. You meet him with a challenging look, pulling yourself up to your full height. “Maybe you’re right, maybe I do want you to explode on me,” You assert, lacing your words with far more meaning than he had his own.

Joel may not be the brightest bulb, but he’s not stupid. He clocks it immediately. His next words come out very measured as he narrows his eyes at you. “What. Are you doin’ here. At my house. While everyone is in bed?”

You shrug, scuffing your worn, unlaced work boots you’d thrown on against his porch. “Guess I couldn’t sleep.”

Joel sweeps his eyes down your body, taking in your sleep shorts and camisole. You catch him lingering on the curve of your breasts peeking out of your shirt for a second too long and licking his lips.

“What’s got you tossin’ and turnin’ in that bed of yours, little girl?”

“Might have been what you said at dinner.”

“That right? And what about what I said had your brain workin’ overtime?”

“I think you know.”

“Mmm. You think I know,” He repeats back to you, his hand reaching up to grip the threshold at the top of the doorway. It has an effect like he’s trying to make himself bigger, like a bear trying to spook a potential threat. “Why don’t you spell out for me what you ‘think I know’.”

You sigh in self-conscious frustration, your eyes flitting to the strip of skin revealed at his stomach from his shift in position. “Please don’t make me say it.”

“Oh, I’m gonna make you say it. Big girls use their words. Haven’t seen you have a problem with that before. Always got some smartass thing to say to me.”

Your fingers twist into the hem of your shorts as your eyes remain fixed on that strip of skin. You say quietly, mumbling, “I need you.”

He tips his head forward and cocks it. “I’m sorry?”

You’re fairly certain he heard you the first time. You finally meet his gaze again, which has gone exponentially more dark, tempting. His lips are parted in expectation, brow raised in a devastatingly irritating cocksureness.

“Well?” He encourages.

Your eyes shift from side to side along with your feet as the cool late-night summer air chills your exposed skin. “Can we do this inside, please?”

He smirks at you, seeming to revel in your unease. “Oh yeah, we’ll do it inside. But this,” He points a finger towards you, “This little confession. I want Jackson to hear it. Even if the people don’t. I want this filthy, desperate little admission of yours blowin’ on the wind of this little town ‘til its demise.”

“Joel, come on—”

“You do as I say, or you go home.”

You huff, craning your head to soak in the barren street, see the leaves dancing across the pavement with the quiet breeze. The breeze that’s destined to not be so quiet anymore.

You steel yourself as you look back at Joel where he waits expectantly, hand still gripping the doorway and a thumb curled around his belt loop. You clear your throat.

“I need you. To teach me a lesson…Daddy.”

The name has a positively wicked expression creeping along his features. “Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“May I please come inside now?”

Joel pouts his lips up in thought for a brief moment before swinging out of the way of the doorframe, welcoming you in. The door closes behind you with a certain crisp finality that has a rush of cold running through your body despite the bloom of heat in Joel’s home. From fear or excitement, you’re not totally sure. Probably both.

Broad, warm hands find their way to your hips from behind, thumbs rubbing rhythmic circles into the flesh of your back just beneath the hem of your camisole. Heated breath curls around your ear as he says low, “So you need a Daddy, huh?”

You squirm just a smidge, not enough to have Joel retreating from you. “I think you’ve known that for a while now. Right?”

Joel chuckles softly, pressing a kiss below your ear. “I’ve known. A good Daddy always knows, don’t he?”

“Yeah,” You breathe out as Joel’s kisses start trending more toward tongue-heavy suction on your neck. You tilt your head to the side to widen his canvas and he moans into you in appreciation.

“‘S’what happens when little girls don’t get the lovin’ they need. Start actin’ out, mouthin’ off, just waitin’ for a firm Daddy to teach ‘em how to behave.”

“Yes,” You gasp, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck as he works you over with his mouth and his words. “Please teach me.”

Joel pauses for a beat and uses the crook of his finger under your chin to turn your face to his. “You a virgin, Little Bee?”

A laugh bubbles up from your chest at both the assumption and the new pet name. “Not even close.”

You’d lost that long ago to some boy you’d been left with once by your father, back when you were still surviving on the outside. He was cute and you wanted to get it over with. Your father hadn’t shied away from informing you of the threats that were out there, particularly for a young woman. You chose to take control of your first time, so no one could do it for you.

Once you’d gotten to Jackson, there had been a decent pool of guys around your age to experiment with. And you took advantage of that. With no father watching your back, and a new group of boys whispering under their breath about “fresh meat”, you got back at your father the only way you knew how—being reckless. Probably should have realized earlier that he didn’t give a shit about that either. “The community’s whore, the community’s problem...”

That was before Joel had arrived. After Joel arrived…nobody else would do. Which brings you here. To Joel’s home in the middle of the night. Ready to learn what he has to teach.

Joel jerks you backward with both hands at your waist, pressing you against the unmistakably massive length in his jeans. “Good. Maria’d probably put me on trial for doin’ the shit I’m ‘boutta do to you if you were a little doe-eyed virgin.”

You swallow thickly, a smirk branding your lips. “And what are you about to do to me, Daddy?”

Joel licks one long, possessive stripe up the column of your neck and growls, “Fuck you like my own personal sex doll. Pump you so full of my come that you’ll be drippin’ it for days. Teach you a fuckin’ lesson ‘bout back-talkin’ your superiors.”

“Fuck, Daddy,” You moan, dropping your head back to his shoulder.

“Surprise, surprise. The antagonistic little slut likes the idea of bein’ used by me.” Joel drags the collar of your top down under your tits and gropes at one with a deliciously callused hand, twisting your nipple as you gasp. “That what you been beggin’, screamin’ for all this time, Little Bee? Huh? Desperate for my attention?”

“Yes, Daddy,” You admit with more shamelessness than you’d expected of yourself. But his words are burrowing as deep inside your pussy as you desperately hope he will be soon.

Joel snarls in your ear, “Then get on your fuckin’ knees and show me what you’re good for.”

You hit the ground like someone strapped 500 lb. weights to your thighs. The snort Joel lets out niggles at your self-consciousness. Here you are, finally on your knees for the man you haven’t stopped fantasizing about since you met him, and having to come to terms with how truly starved you are for him. How avidly you want to please him. Part of you really should care about how thoroughly this man has a hold on you between your legs. How he could grip you by the cunt and twist you in any direction he saw fit, and you’d obey.

All the cutting jabs, all the sassy remarks, culminating with you in your skimpy pajamas at 2 AM, hardwood biting at your bare knees as you await your fate.

“You follow directions pretty nice when you got a strong hand above you, don’t ya?”

“I am capable of being a good girl,” You say with an edge of defensiveness.

“I’m sure you are, I’ve just yet to see it. I s’pose we’ll find out, won’t we?”

Joel makes quick work of the fastenings on his jeans and pulls himself out of them with a grunt. You can feel your eyes threaten to bulge out at the sight of him. You’ve seen decent sized dicks before, but he is big. Like, the ones you’ve seen in porn magazines, big. And he’s thick. Thick enough that you’re pretty sure you can’t fit your hand all the way around him. The tip is an angry reddish-purple, pronounced veins running down the velvety shaft like a challenge. Follow me, see where I lead. His balls hang low and heavy, practically begging for your mouth on them. Both his cock and balls are framed with only partially tamed dark curls that look silky to the touch.

“Oh god,” You choke out, unable to pry your eyes from the magnificently terrifying sight in front of you.

Joel moans as he cups a hand around his sack and squeezes it lightly. “You’re playin’ with the big daddies now, aren’t you, little girl?”

You whimper as you look up at him, “Please.”

“Please what, baby?” He prods with another tug to his balls, causing his cock to bob lewdly in front of your face.

“Please put it in my mouth.”

“There’s that good girl I’ve been lookin’ for,” He says grittily, taking his cock in his hand and your chin in the other. He coaxes a thumb between your teeth and guides your mouth open for him. “Gotta be nice and wide, baby. ‘Else I won’t fit.”

You don’t doubt that for a second. In fact, you're doubting your ability to even do it at all. But he lays the head on your tongue, salty with precome and sweat, and slides it in. His hand threads through the hairs at the base of your skull and tugs, just enough to establish his control.

You moan as he invades your mouth, occupying every spare bit of space. He tickles at the back of your throat and it doesn’t skip your attention that there is still enough length left for you to wrap a hand around the base and not even touch your lips.

“There we go, nice and full now, huh? Why don’t you hit me with one of those witty little comebacks of yours, Little Bee. Go on,” He encourages with a downright evil smirk.

You scrunch your eyebrows together and attempt to pull off, but his grip at your head is unyielding, your effort just rubber-banding you back deeper onto his cock with another moan.

Joel tosses his head back with a brutal laugh as he bucks into your mouth, forcing you to gag around him. “Well goddamn it. It’s a miracle. She’s speechless, ain’t she?” He gives another controlled thrust and the gag has wetness flooding your eyes and the corners of your mouth. “Daddy shut her right up.”

He fucks into your mouth with harsh grunts, jerking you off of him by the back of your head to catch your breath before pulling you right back on. His barrage has tears streaming down your cheeks and your own saliva leaking down your chin to your chest.

Once he tires of fucking into you with his hips, he opts to utilize his hold on your head. He wrenches you back and forth mercilessly, cramming your mouth full of his cock and sliding more and more of it down your throat as he goes.

He lets you up to breathe and spits down at you, “This all you been dreamin’ about, you little slut? This how you wanted Daddy to treat you?”

You cough out a “Yes, Daddy!” before he puts you right back to work, using and abusing your throat like it’s just a second pussy to him. You can see your own saliva mingling in with the curls at his base, draping in delicate strings as well as smeared obscenely in translucent globs.

When he rips you off of him a final time, it’s with enough force to throw you to the ground off your knees. You twist to try and upright yourself until he hurls at you, “Stay down. Don’t fuckin’ move.”

He shucks off his pants and boxers and drops down, his knees on either side of your shoulders. He grips the base of his cock and smacks you with it right down the center of your face. “Open your mouth.”

Once you open wide, your tongue splayed out for him, he braces himself with a hand above your head and dangles his balls above your mouth. “Suck.”

The authority in his voice has you lifting your head without a second thought, capturing one of his balls in your mouth. You suck it gently, massaging it with your tongue. A guttural grunt escapes Joel as he drops his hips low enough for you to settle your head back against the hardwood as you lave at him. You let him pop out of your mouth to repeat the motions on its counterpart, moaning softly around it. Joel cants forward at the vibration, his cock bobbing down again and tapping your face.

“Shit, babygirl. Such a filthy fuckin’ mouth. Right where it belongs.”

He strokes at his cock with a firm hand as you pleasure him, only extracting himself from your mouth when his thighs begin to shake. He shifts himself down your body until he’s kneeling between your legs.

“Fuck, I can’t wait anymore. Need this tight little cunt,” He growls, slapping right down on your needy pussy with a flat hand over your shorts.

You buck up in response, spreading your legs wide without another word. Joel pulls down your shorts and panties in one go. You bend your legs to help rid yourself of them, pulling off your boots in the process and leaving you in your drooping camisole.

“Please fuck me, Daddy. I need you so bad,” You whine, rolling your hips up at him. Joel lands another smack, this time to your bare folds.

“Gonna fuck this cunt so good it won’t matter that nobody heard your slutty little confession outside. They’re gonna know just what kinda girl you are when you’re limpin’ around town from the pussy beatin’ I’m ‘boutta give you.”

“Yes, Daddy,” You moan as Joel notches his fat head at your pulsing core.

“They’re gonna take one fuckin’ look at you and say, ‘That’s a slut that’s takin’ more dick than she knows how to handle.’ And they’re gonna wonder who’s stickin’ it to ya so good. And you’re gonna keep your fuckin’ mouth shut, aren’t ya?”

“Whatever you want, Daddy,” You cry out, “Please give it to me!”

“Say it,” He grunts, teasing your hole with the impending stretch of his cock. “Say you’re gonna keep your fuckin’ mouth shut.”

“I’ll keep my mouth shut,” You sob, “I’ll do anything, just please!”

He grants your wish with a loud grunt and fucks his entire length into you in a single thrust. You feel the air decompress from your lungs, your lips parting in a silent cry.

“Bit off more’n you can chew with me, Little Bee. And I’m gonna make you feel it.”

And he fucking does. His cock ravages every inch of you, stretching you out more than you could ever imagine and filling you like nothing you’ve ever dreamed. The head of his cock kisses at your cervix, making you writhe and claw at his hips to try and force him to shallow his thrusts, but he smacks your hand away sharply and locks it to the floor with his fingers around your wrist.

“Oh, no, babygirl. You wanted me, you get every inch of me. You learn your fuckin’ lesson.” He drops to his elbows and snaps his hips into you, and you can’t stop the strangled yell that spills out of you. He smacks a hand over your mouth and continues his domineering thrusts. “Gonna wake up the whole fuckin’ neighborhood. You really want everyone to know Joel Miller is the one puttin’ you in your place, huh?”

You scream against his muffling hand as a particularly deep thrust has him smashing into your cervix, blotting your vision with white. You’re not sure if it’s from him actually realizing that he’s hurting you or just entirely of his own desire, but he pulls out and flips you flat onto your stomach. He wastes no time plunging right back in, his chest flush to your back. Your breathing remains ragged but not quite so shrill as his thrusts shallow out, prevented from going so deep in your current position. Despite that, Joel still fills you up completely, claiming the entire expanse of your pussy for himself like you’re just a toy. He wraps an arm loosely around your neck and grabs onto your opposite shoulder, using your own body as leverage against you.

“Feel so good wrapped around this fuckin’ cock, babygirl. You want me to fill you up? Shoot my come up this fuckin’ pussy?”

You whimper in response, warring with yourself over that very thought. God, do you want Joel to take you like that. To mark you like that. You’ve never let anyone come inside you before, even the first time. Jackson has an extremely limited supply of emergency contraception, but you have no doubt Joel could get his hands on it if he wanted to.

Then Joel just keeps fucking talking.

“What if I fuck a baby right into this pussy, babygirl, huh? Teach you some real consequences. Waddlin’ around with a child no one even knows is mine. Just the town slut, probably don’t even know who her own baby came from.”

You sob as Joel fucks you open over and over, his pace increasing as he spews pure filth into your ear. The perversion of his idea, the full-circle moment rattling around deep in the recesses of your brain—it should fucking repulse you. Instead it has your pussy squeezing around him like it’s begging to be bred.

“But you’d fuckin’ know, wouldn’t you? You’d know it was your Daddy, punishin’ this cunt for the sins of your smart fuckin’ mouth. Paintin’ your insides full of his load ‘cause he can’t resist this tight fuckin’ pussy.”

“Fuck, daddy, please!”

Joel grunts as he hauls himself up onto his knees, yanking your hips up with him until your ass is in the air. He clutches your hips bruisingly as he fucks back into you at a break-neck pace that has your face damp with tears again.

“Tell me no, Little Bee. Tell me not to fill up this naughty cunt. Tell me,” He barks at you as you feel him starting to lose his control.

And maybe it’s because he’s fucked you so dumb you can’t speak, but you don’t. You don’t say a goddamn thing.

Regardless of whether he takes the silence as an answer or he just can’t wait for an actual one, Joel comes with an, “Oh fuck,” and presses in deep, your ass flush with his hips as rope after rope of his seed splatters your insides. “Fuck.”

He pulls out of you gently and rolls down on the floor onto his back, panting up at the ceiling as he wipes his forehead with the back of his hand. He just breathes for a minute before confessing, “Should not have done that.”

“I don’t know,” You say, your chest heaving with an equal amount of exhaustion as you slide fully into the floor, “You seemed pretty keen on the idea a second ago. Memory going that quick?”

Joel’s head rolls to the side to glance at you, fixing you with a tired, but cautionary look. “Don’t you fuckin’ start with me. Have to do this shit all over again.”

Your lips curve into a small smile. “Yes, Daddy.” Joel rolls his eyes and works on righting himself. Your brow furrows as you watch him. “Wait, what about me?”

Joel raises an eyebrow at you as he stands, hands propped on his hips. “What about you? With all the shit you’ve put me through? Oh no, Little Bee, orgasms are earned. And you got a lotta ground to cover.”

You scowl, throwing one of your boots at him. “That’s not fair!”

Joel dodges the projectile footwear with nothing but a nonchalant jerk of his head to the side. “First lesson, little girl. Life ain’t never fuckin’ fair. Get dressed.”

“Not until I get my orgasm.”

Joel swears to himself and levels you with a threatening glare. “I will carry your bare naked ass over my shoulder ‘cross town with my come still drippin’ out your cunt ‘f you don’t do as I say. And you can say goodbye to any more lessons from me. Ever.”

You get dressed.

He walks you back toward your room side by side, your arms brushing against each other several times. He eventually sighs and mutters a gruff, “Fuck it.” He loops a hand around your shoulders and pulls you against him, rubbing your arm as friction against the chill breeze. You hide your grin into his t-shirt and let him be both of your eyes home.

Taglist Update: I have decided to decommission my taglist in favor of an updates blog! Please follow@atticrissfinchupdates and opt in for notifications to get notified when I post a new fic!

Visit here for instructions on how to get a tab just for the blogs you’ve subscribed to at the top of your tumblr page!

taglist: @bbyanarchist @within-the-depths @koshkaj-blog @oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff @pr0ximamidnight

#dark!joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #the last of us #tlou #katy wroted fic #dark!joel #joel miller smut #joel miller fic

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moonlightazriel · 4 months

Text

When no one hears your calls /// Eris X F!Reader

Summary: When the unbearable feelings of her mate start to mess with her life, Y/N decides to put an ending to their misery.

Warnings: Torture and abuse, Beron being the bastard he is.

Word Count: 3K

Notes: Yeah, i missed writing for my baby Eris. And I'm warning in advance that reader is Azriel's sister and he's mated to Gwyn in this, so please, if you don't stan Gwynriel, scroll past it.

Main Masterlist

She weeped, the feelings flooding her chest too overwhelming to keep controlled. It started with small waves of anxiety, increasing to pure agony, pain erupted through her chest. She tried to keep the tears from spilling, but now she sobbed, broken pleas for it to stop leaving from her parted chapped lips.

“Tell me what’s wrong, let me make it stop.” Azriel begged his sister. Holding her broken frame in between his arms.

“It hurts so much Az, it’s not fair.” She managed to speak in between the sobs that got more hysterical. The shadowsinger just held her tighter, seeing her in such distress broke him, she has always been his greatest weakness.

“Here, take this.” Gwyn offered, her warm hands holding a mug towards the female. “It will help you sleep.” Azriel nodded to his mate, taking the mug from his hands and bringing it to his sister’s lips. He forced the content down her throat, watching as the tea slowly worked, her body relaxed and the tears stopped and she fell asleep against him.

“Thank you.” He said, and Gwyn squeezed his shoulder in a reassuring grip. Azriel grabbed Y/N, taking her to the guest bedroom that Gwyn had set for her, placing her sleeping form carefully on the bed. The red headed female grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the living room again.

“I don’t understand.” He breathed. “She has had these episodes since the High Lord’s meeting, it doesn’t make any sense.”

“Maybe she’s sick?” Gwyn suggested and Azriel shrugged.

“I took her to Madja, and she’s been as healthy as ever. There’s nothing wrong with her besides that.” He looked towards the room, to the shadows guarding his sister as she finally rested. “I don’t know what to do.”

“We’ll find a solution Az, I know that.” Gwyn smiled at him, and he pulled the female for a hug.

“I pray to the Mother that you’re right.” She kissed his temple and he closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of her love soothe his heart.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Whenever an episode approached, it always had small signs indicating it, the uncomfortable feeling in her chest, the rapid breathing and the dizziness like someone hit her in the head with full strength.

She hated that she worried her family so much, but not every time she was able to control how her body would react to it. It angered her how they would look at her with such pained expressions, how much Azriel wanted to help and she didn’t even knew how to ask for his help.

So everyday, Gwyn would take her to the library and she would search the cause of her troubles, her nose glued to the pages for hours until her vision was blurry and her head was pounding. She never felt such agony, only when her half brothers and her father ripped her wings from her back, making a small cut and pulling it until the skin gave up and she blacked out due to the blood loss.

It was Azriel shadows who helped them, sneaking supplies to their cell until they could get rid of the infection that almost killed her and healed his hands. She was glad for them and her brother, they saved her. She always tried to be as less of a burden as possible to not worry Azriel, but now she knew he was distressed about her situation, so she wanted to fix it, for her and for him.

Shadows gathered in a corner caught her attention, she got up, despite not being able to hear them, they always tended to her and her needs. As she approached the shelf, the shadows disappeared, leaving only a copy of an old dusty book behind. She pulled the book out, blowing the dust off, sneezing a bit in the process. Allergic just like Cassian.

She plopped herself in her seat again, scanning the book cover, no name, no nothing, this sparked her curiosity. She opened the book, in a fancy handwriter she could read “MATING BONDS: The complete guide for the matters of the heart.” She smiled at the title.

Just like her brother, she was sometimes too shy to ask about things. Besides having her past lovers, mating bonds are something she was never that curious about. So she sat there, reading the whole thing with attention. If the shadows thought this book would help, she was sure it would.

“Sometimes, strong feelings can leak through a one sided bond. And the other mate can feel it just as clearly as they would if the bond was shared by both mates.” That passage stuck with her, and she organised the books back on the shelf as she saw Gwyn approaching.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

“How do we know if the bond snapped or not?” She blurted at the dinner table, the eyes of the inner circle turning to her.

“Well, it’s different for everyone and you would mostly just know.” Rhys said, looking at the female, the three Illyrians treated her like they were her brothers as well. So, the three have been looking for ways to help their little sister to get rid of those episodes.

“What if the bond had snapped for me and I just didn’t know it was it?” She inquired again and Azriel turned to his sister, his shadows stopping to look at her curiously.

“Do you think you found your mate?” He asked, eyebrow raised, who she thought she was mated to?

“I found this book that said that feelings can leak through the bond.” The couples nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, it’s very common.” Feyre replied.

“That’s the only explanation for what’s happening to me.” They all stopped for a second. “These emotions are not mine, but they’re strong enough for me to feel it.” Suddenly it all made sense.

“I pity your mate then.” Nesta said with sincerity, whoever it was, was going through great pain for her to feel it so intensely.

“Me too.” Feyre agreed. “But as for the bond, you can feel like a tug in your soul, like no one else matters to you anymore besides that person.” The High Lady concluded.

“Do you think you ever felt like this?” Elain asked and the female nodded.

“Yeah, I think I have.”

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

She couldn’t sleep, her mind filled with too many memories to rest. But one in particular caught her attention, and she closed her eyes, focusing on that memory until she could see it clearly.

“I didn’t know the Night Court had such beauties by their side.” His voice purred, and she turned around to see the well dressed autumn male. He had a smirk adorning his lips, his hair slicked back, leaving a clear view of his face.

“The autumn males aren’t that bad either.” She sheepishly replied, eyes glued to his amber eyes. Eris Vanserra was a dangerous male, as her family had alerted her, but what a beautiful disaster he was. Stealing her breath away and making her lose all of her focus.

“If you ever give me the pleasure of your company, I'll show you how bad we can be.” He winked at her, leaving her standing still in the hallway. It was Nesta who found her, looking at nothing, frozen in place as her chest sparkled with life, like she was taking her first breath of fresh air after getting out of her father’s dungeon. As she was finally free.

She kicked the covers away from her body, not caring about her clothing as she winnowed away. It was him, he was what was troubling her so much. She just needed to ask him to stop whatever this was and she would go back to normal. The shadows covered her as she sneaked through the Autumn Manor.

Everything was pitch black, and she just followed the shadows, taking her to the only illuminated room. She pushed the door open, spotting Eris by the bed, looking in a small mirror as he stitched a very ugly wound in his chest. His eye was purple and his lips were bruised.

“Who did this to you?” She breathed, her hands shaking in anger, how could someone do it to another being? She saw how cruel people could be and she dedicated her time to protecting those who couldn’t protect themselves.

“What are you doing here?” He asked startled, dropping the mirror from his hands and wincing in pain. Surprised to see her there, and even more curious to know why she was there.

“I came here to talk to you.” She walked closer to her. “Here, let me help you.” Eris raised an eyebrow towards her, what was happening? She picked the needle from his hands, her warm skin brushing against his, it was a nice feeling. He didn’t say anything as her soft touch rested against his heart, while her other hand worked on closing the wound.

She finished the stitches, reaching for the bowl of water, taking the cloth and with one hand she lifted his chin, eyes locked together for a second. She started to work on the dried blood that smeared across his lips and nose. He closed his eyes, leaning into her touch and letting her take care of him.

“What do you want to talk about that was so important that you invaded my room in the middle of the night?” He watched as she got away from him, sitting in one of the comfortable chairs in the corner of his room. She pulled her legs close to her chest.

“I wanted you to stop.” He leaned forward.

“Stop what exactly?” She took a deep breath.

“With your overwhelming feelings, it’s been a fucking trouble to me. But you’re clearly going through something, so if you ever need me, don’t hesitate to reach out.” Eris sneered.

“Why would I ever seek your help?” He watched as she got up, her expression serious as she held the doorknob.

“Because who’s better to help you than your own mate?” And with that she left.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Mate.

She was his mate. Her words got caught in his mind, she had no reason to lie to him. But he also had no reasons to believe her, he just did. He chose to believe that the female who came to him in the middle of the night and showed him more kindness than his own flesh and blood was telling the truth.

So when another round of torture was over, he winnowed to her house, he had memorized the address she had sent to him. He could barely hold himself together, so he almost collapsed on top of her as she opened the door. She looked like she had been crying as he managed to take a look at her face, and he wondered if it was his emotions that led to that.

“I didn’t know where else to come, and I didn't want to be alone.” She didn’t laugh nor mocked him, she just nodded and left the room. He could hear her, moving around in a hidden room, he wondered if she regretted offering him shelter.

All the doubts died down in his throat when she came back, leaning to help him stand, guiding the way towards a bathroom. She sat him in her toilet and helped him out of his clothes. He sank in the water, trying to ignore the fact that he had to be naked in front of her, she looked like she was trying her best to ignore it as well.

“I put some numbing herbs, to help with the pain.” He nodded, feeling very thankful for her kindness. “And I have some of Azriel’s clothes here if you don’t mind. Yours are very dirty and could infect your wounds.”

“I would like that, thank you.” She nodded, getting out of the room and only appearing again to drop the clothes. Eris sighed, feeling his body relax and his wounds starting to close. As the water got cold, he got out. He felt weird wearing the Shadowsinger’s clothes but nothing about this situation was usual for him.

“I figured you’re probably hungry.” She placed a plate in front of him, no one had ever taken that much care of him before. “I didn’t cook it, Feyre told me it's a way of accepting the bond.” She smiled and he could swear that all the pain and sadness was lifted from his chest with that bright smile directed to him.

“Yeah, we don’t want you accepting this bond by accident.” Why would she want to accept a life tied to him?

“Yeah, we have to get to know each other first.” She giggled, taking a bite of her own food. “You don’t even know my favourite colour!” Eris laughed, feeling the sound reverberate through his chest, how long it was since he truly laughed with someone?

“Do you plan on accepting?” He asked, testing the waters.

“To be honest, I think about it, but as I said. First we get to know each other, we think about the bond later.” Eris nodded.

“Does your family know?” He dared to ask, assuming that they didn’t, or else Azriel would have already threatened him.

“They do!” He looked at her in shock. “They weren’t happy at first, but they respect my choice.”

“Did you tell them?” He gestured towards himself and her smile faded.

“Your secret is safe with me, it’s not my story to tell.” He swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Thank you, for everything.” She smiled again.

“Nothing to thank me for.” He grabbed her hand, rubbing circles with his thumb.

“I have everything to thank you for, you just don’t know it.” They finished the meal and she got up to do the dishes, he quickly pushed her away. “It’s the least I can do.” She nodded.

“I’ll get the guest room ready for you then.” That night Eris slept like he hadn't slept in ages, soaking in the comfort of her home and her affection.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Her fingers started to shake, and that wave of anxiety came, as overwhelming as ever, it has been a whole month that she didn’t feel it, but Eris still came up to her beaten every week, she knew he was holding back his pain for her. But today, it was just as unbearable as it was when he didn’t know about it.

She gritted her teeth, clenching her fists under the table. The dinner went nicely, everyone engaged in conversations and smiling. She couldn’t ruin it, not again. But it was too late, as tears started to stream down her face.

“Are you okay?” Gwyn asked. Concern lacing her delicate features. Y/N shook her head, a scream ripping past her lips and scaring the whole family, Azriel was by her side in a second, tending to her.

“What’s wrong?” It wasn’t pain that filled her veins tonight, it was anger. The house shook with her power. She screamed in rage, if she didn’t act now, he was going to get killed. She grabbed the truth teller away from her brother.

“This ends tonight.” She announced before she winnowed away. The pain guided her, towards mouldy walls and putrid floors, the smell of blood making the air rancid.

He groaned, the pointy blade opening his flesh as it was dragged across his skin. He tried to hold back his pain but it was too much tonight, the ash in the weapon making everything more painful. He tried to hang on for her, for the life he wanted to have with her, for everything they haven’t lived yet. But it was too painful to keep going.

The cell door was forced open, with unruly hair, wet and red cheeks, holding a blade in her hands, his guardian angel came. The blade being pushed into Beron’s neck, blood splattering against her face. She pushed the blade to the side, Beron’s head being detached from his neck, his lifeless body collapsing to the floor.

“Hey! Open your eyes.” She demanded, kneeling in front of him, cradling his face in between her hands, and in that moment, the bond in his chest sang with life, welcoming her unmistakable love for him.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

The first thing he saw was the black curtains of her guest room. And the looming presence of the Shadowsinger himself, watching him intently. His body didn’t hurt anymore, all that was left was the warming feeling of the bond alongside his soul.

“Where is she?” He asked, sitting straight up in bed, his muscles felt tingly from being in the same position for long.

“She’s out in town, getting some things.” Azriel sat in the chair facing the bed. “How are you feeling, Eris?” True concern filled his voice.

“I’m fine, she saved me.” He could never forget this.

“Use this gift she gave you to make her the happiest female alive.” Azriel said, and Eris knew this was the closest of his blessing he would ever get. “Keep her safe.”

“With my life.” The male promised. A door opened somewhere and her soothing voice filled the room.

“I’m home!” She announced, and it took her a few minutes to go to his room, pushing the door open, she watched him. Blinking the tears before rushing to him, jumping on top of him. He held her, and he felt her lips pressed on his. His heart beated faster, as he retributed her kiss.

“Hey, stop that, that’s gross.” Azriel groaned, and she parted their kiss, laughing to her brother from Eris’s lap.

“You’re no fun.” She complained, showing him his middle finger. He rolled his eyes and left the room. “What do we do now?” She asked, but Eris didn’t want to think about the chaos that awaited for him at home, so he looked her in the eyes, sending all the love he could down the bond and asked.

“What’s your favourite colour?”

#acotar #sarahjmaas #moonlightazriel #night court #velaris #high lord eris #pro eris vanserra #eris vanserra #eris x reader #eris acotar #eris x y/n #eris x you #acotar fanfic

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tadc-ragatha · 7 months

Note

Hello I saw you were taking request! If you want may you please write a x Virus! Reader who always hacks into the code for the character’s favor during missions or simple things like wanting something

I thought it would be a interesting idea and I hope everything is going well for you, remember to eat/ rest if needed!

-⚜️Anon

Circus Crew with a Virus Reader

TW: Mentions of their unstable minds. Lmk if there are any more.

Type: Headcanons

A/N: "Reader's code got messed up during their transition to the digital world, leaving them with the ability to somewhat hack into the digital circus' code in real time." Hi! You were so polite I'm going to do your request first! Thank you for your manners! This one includes Caine, too! As of writing, only the pilot episode has come out. Spoilers. You're the first request I'm answering! Requests open as of posting.

Caine

He treats you like Bubble sometimes to be honest ("you PARASITE!"). Like, he doesn't hate the humans, but nor does he understand them. And you'd be pretty upset if your worked-on projects and activities were wiped from the code without a care. You're probably his least favourite human for this alone.

Legit, he may just consider finding an exit for you. Again, no real "hatred" per se, but he does find your antics extremely annoying. You probably have to make up some lie about the group just working real hard to fix it so he doesn't abstract himself--if that's even possible. But Jax will always ruin it anyway.

Pomni

She's just like "what?" the whole time. I mean, it's bad enough being the newbie in the digital circus, but then being reminded it's really reality for her and it can become unstable? No thank you. She doesn't quite avoid you or anything, but she isn't super keen on the idea that the world could fall apart.

Still, she tries to get you to help her find the exit. Maybe if you interacted with the computer you'd be able to hack into the whole game and get everyone out of the world. Or, maybe there's something you could do in the void that would help. Anything, really.

Otherwise, you're there to get the games finished so she can go and look for a way out herself. Don't get me wrong, she's nice to you and doesn't intend to just use you, but sometimes it might come off that way. Just give her time; she's desperate.

Ragatha

To be honest, I don't think Ragatha would be very keen on having you around. For your abilities, of course, not your personality. I mean, she's nice to Jax of all people, so she's not going to hate you. She just doesn't like it when you end the activities so quickly.

She holds onto the activities like a lifeline. Without them, she'd be left alone with her thoughts and would pretty quickly start to decline. They're also just kind of fun sometimes, too. There's not much to do in the digital world after years of being there.

She is still a little bit envious, though. I mean, Jax gets to almost teleport (seriously was that him running he was so fast), and you get to hack the freaking system. If only she could have those abilities and maybe she's be able to find an exit. Though, that would probably drive her to abstraction.

Jax

Jax is half annoyed, half ecstatic with your abilities. On one hand, having you mess things up for everyone's convenience is a pain. It stops him from being able to complete his pranks when things suddenly change. And if you do things to stop him from being a jerk, he'll be even more annoyed and will probably make it a challenge for himself to see how many times he can successfully target you.

On the other hand, if you're his ally and will help him in his bullying, he's very happy. I hate to say it, but you'd probably mess things up around Kinger at first so he has a bit of a reality crisis and doesn't know what's real. Though, he'd get used to it after a while and it may not work since he's already seen so much.

Still, you two are partners in crime. Since you're able to do almost whatever, it's easy to get away with what you want. Caine is able to stop you, but he still can't control your mind where you're abilities come from. So, he can't shut them off. And this just leads to more and more torment for Caine and the others.

Kinger

To be honest I don't know how Kinger would react. I think he might just be too out of it to even care too much. That, or he's used to it because something similar has happened before. I mean, he's been there the longest; he would've seen some weird things. Maybe someone else with similar abilities came through only to abstract.

If so, he'd warn you a lot about it. Don't get too wrapped up in your "superpowers" of sorts, or else you might start thinking of yourself too highly. And don't become power-hungry, either, lest you want to go insane. He does care about his friends, guys.

Gangle

Gangle is a bit scared, I imagine. When she's lost her comedy mask, anyway. She just wants a sense of stability and comfort in the uncertain and uncharted territory of the digital world. She's also really shy around you, as with anyone. She doesn't talk to you much out of a mixture of social anxiety and also general fear.

She does feel bad for you, though, and tries to check up on you. Her and Ragatha are the most caring out of the group, and knowing that your code has been corrupted must be very stressful. The trade-off of getting cool glitch powers comes at the cost of your protection and memory. You're much more prone to headaches (which you shouldn't have) and other ailments, and Gangle's always there to try and make you feel better.

Otherwise, it'd be very nice for her if you could get Jax to stop being a jerk somehow. Maybe prank him with some weird happenings so he's too scared to do anything? Or just mess with him (whether it be making him super small and punt-able, or making him super slow). She'd feel guilty about it, but she deserves a break.

Zooble

Zooble's so relieved. They hate the activities and being able to get out of them is such a relief. She has more time to do whatever the hell he wants. If you're their friend, you'll walk off and hang out together doing whatever. Honestly, around them you probably just use your powers for convenience like dragging items towards you and whatnot. Nothing like what Jax does.

Zooble will literally be like "where are they" when you're not there to fix things up. In fact, he'll take it as an excuse to leave the activity and go look for you. Though, it'll probably turn into Ragatha coming with her and inviting Gangle to come along too. Jax will follow, then Kinger probably will, and soon the whole group is going anyway. Not exactly what they wanted; they'll probably tell them to leave and take care of whatever's at hand.

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prythianpages · 6 months

Text

Stuck On You | Part Three

cassian x reader | Cassian can't seem to forget about you since the night you met seven years ago. he thought he would never see you again but when he does, he's determined to make you his. this time for good.

“Don’t worry. She likes your butt and fancy hair. I know, I read her diary.”

[series masterlist]

A/N: I debated on splitting this into two parts since it came out longer than intended but I wanted to leave the bulk of the angst in this part. Some more scenes and quotes from Lilo & Stitch since I couldn't help myself. just one more part! I have a rough outline of it so I probably won't be able to finish it tonight but definitely by some time this coming week.

Warnings: angst, some fluff if you squint, mentions of violence/abuse

“Cassian said he would take me out for ice cream if you said yes!” Seraphine beamed, removing her boots at the foyer of your small, humble home. “I’ve never had ice cream before. Have you?”

“Sera,” you said with a sigh, concern laced into your tone over how attached she was to him. His month-long absence had given you a glimpse of the consequence of the effect he had on not just you but Seraphine as well and you didn’t want her to get hurt. She wouldn’t understand.

“I think it’s best if we don’t see Cas anymore.”

She turned to you with a pout. “He’s our friend! You have to say yes.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” Seraphine’s lip quivered, her tired eyes brimming with tears.

You didn’t answer, couldn’t bring yourself to.

Instead, you threw your aching body onto the small loveseat in the living room. This week had taken both an emotional and physical toll on you, as you tirelessly kept Seraphine up to date with her studies, managed the tavern’s monthly expenses and wrestled with your inner turmoil concerning Cassian. The constant restlessness in Seraphine only added to the mountain of exhaustion, her unbridled excitement buzzing incessantly over everything.

You knew you should draw a bath for the both of you and then head to bed, considering your fatigue.

However, you were well aware of your little sister’s stubborn nature as it was one you also exhibited. It must run in the family. Once she was fixated on something, there was no distracting her and judging by the intensity of her little sister’s sobs, you braced yourself for a long and challenging night.

“You’re so mean!” She cried. “I hate you!”

“Please don’t be a pain tonight,” you groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“You should just sell me and buy a rabbit instead!” Sara shouted at you with her finger pointed at you, referring to your empty threat of replacing her with a rabbit every time she misbehaved. You hadn’t brought it up in months, years even, and were surprised she remembered.

“At least a rabbit would behave better than you,” you muttered.

“Go ahead!” Seraphine exclaimed, making you wince at her sharp tone. You hoped your neighbors could not hear her, fearing what they’d do if they did. You heard her angry stomps as she made her way to her room. “Then you’ll be happy! It will be smarter than me too.”

“And quieter!”

“You’ll like it because it’s stinky like you!”

“Go to your room!”

“I’m already in my room!” Seraphine screamed as she opened her door just to slam it shut again, irritating you further.

You grabbed the nearest pillow and brought it to your face to muffle your scream.

Guilt began to settle as your initial anger faded away. You knew you had overreacted. For many years, it had just been you and the small family your mother had created. Neither you or Seraphine had made any friends in Ironcrest yet, unless you counted the friendly old male who you purchased spices and groceries from every Sunday.

Your small family of four had unexpectedly and significantly reduced to half, leaving just you and Seraphine. Of course, she was excited when Cassian came along. You’d deny it if asked but a part of you was excited too.

He was sweet and kind but your worries crept in about what it meant to allow him into your tightly-knit world. What if things didn’t work out between you? What if the burdens you carried were too much for him to bear? You couldn’t allow him in further when your sister was already so attached to him, unable to bear the thought of having her witness another loved one disappear from her life.

You had to end this, whatever it was that you and Cassian had and you had to end it soon. Before any further damage could be provoked.

Throughout your life, stability had been a luxury, and the haunting fear of attachment loomed over you. The constant uprooting had instilled a deep seated fear of getting close to people. Every bond you had forged was inevitably followed by a painful goodbye. The walls safeguarding your heart, constructed since childhood, grew higher and stronger with every move. You had hoped that your mother’s marriage would bring a lasting change, a nice and needed break from moving, and for a while, it had.

However, the universe had a cruel way of reminding you that stability was a luxury you couldn’t afford. You would’ve never expected your one night stand with Cassian would lead to something more–to this.

Cassian, with his unwavering determination, posed a threat to the walls you had carefully built around your heart. Love. It seemed like a beautiful risk but the fear of losing what was gained, overshadowed its allure for you. Your heart had never felt so heavy.

You took a deep breath before knocking on your sister’s door. The lack of response didn’t surprise you. She must still be upset. The soft glow of faelight seeping from beneath her door confirmed she was awake. Balancing the two mugs of hot cocoa in one arm, you opened the door and slipped inside.

Your stomach churned at the sight of your little sister, clutching the pegasus doll that Cassian had gifted her. Tears streaked her face as she gazed down solemnly.

“I brought you, your favorite. Hot cocoa,” you offered, hoping to bring a glimmer of cheer to her troubled expression.

“We’re a broken family, aren’t we?”

You frowned, setting the tray down on the nightstand, hesitating before answering. “Maybe but only a little…”

You settled yourself onto Seraphine’s bed, gently cradling her into your lap. “I’m sorry for earlier. I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you.”

“I like you better as a sister than a mother…” Seraphine sniffled.

“Yeah?” You tenderly brushed her long, dark hair away from her face in contemplation.

A pang tugged at your heart–the weight of becoming a mother figure pressed on your shoulders. As a sister, you also played a nurturing and protective role in Seraphine’s upbringing, offering support when it was needed. You were the one Seraphine would run to for comfort after your mother's scolding or being stern with her, but now you were the one that had to be stern. It was a struggle finding the delicate balance between fulfilling the motherly duties Seraphine needed and preserving the sibling bond that meant the world to you.

“And you like me better as a sister than a rabbit, right?”

“Oh, my sweet Sera.” You replied, pressing a kiss to her forehead, your arms wrapping around her smaller form with a gentle squeeze. “Of course I do! I would not make my special hot cocoa for just anyone. Only you.”

You handed one of the mugs to her, smiling fondly as she inhaled the rich aroma of the hot cocoa.

“Cassian says ice cream is like frozen milk,” she mused softly. “I wonder what hot cocoa would taste like frozen but then it would no longer be hot cocoa, right? We would have to come up with a new name for it but I don’t think I like the sound of frozen cocoa…”

Her innocent dilemma made you laugh, finding it utterly endearing. You wanted her worries to always be like this. Small and trivial.

“Perhaps we should leave the cocoa out to freeze and find out for ourselves? We can decide on a name then.”

The night air was chilling, the cold wind biting at your cheeks. You hugged your coat closer to you, sparing at glance at Seraphine to make sure she still had hers on and the scarf you had bought her was snug to keep her neck warm. You couldn’t help but giggle when you caught Cassian, who had been persistent on walking you home, was constantly blowing his hair out of his face.

“Did you lose all your hair ties?” You quipped, digging into the pocket of your pants and offering a hair tie to him to alleviate his struggle. He reluctantly took the elastic from you and tied his hair up into his usual bun. You noticed he wore it down more recently. “You can keep it, too.”

“I just wanted to let it loose, try something different.” He replied with a casual shrug of his shoulders.

You let out a small hum, stuffing your hands back into your pockets to keep them hidden and fell into a thoughtful silence once more. There was a knot in your stomach as you three neared your house.

Seraphine, who once again had chosen to skip ahead of you two, paused. She turned around with a knowing gleam in her eye. Her lips curled up and she opened her mouth to speak and if you hadn’t been occupied in the tempest of your thoughts, you wouldn’t have missed Cassian bringing his finger to his lips to keep her from exposing him.

“Fancy hair,” she giggled, despite his plea.

“What was that?” You said, turning your head toward your sister.

Both Seraphine and Cassian exchanged a look before turning to you, responding in unison:

“Nothing!”

Your eyes narrowed at the two in suspicion but you decided not to question it.

When you three finally reached your home, Cassian was surprised at your invitation to come inside. You had never invited him inside, always bidding your farewells at your door. He walked in, overwhelmed by the sweet and delightful scent. It smelled just like you. His eyes darted around the living area curiously, taking in all the small touches you incorporated to make this place feel like a warm and inviting home.

You instructed Seraphine to change and pick a book for you to read to her before bed. She politely said her goodbye and goodnight to Cassian, her movements slow as she was reluctant to follow your instructions. She had no desire to go to bed, not when Cassian was inside your home for the first time and you found the glare she sent you amusing.

Cassian was staring at the wilted and dead flowers resting in a small vase you had placed on the kitchen table, recognizing them as the ones he had gifted you so long ago. You never threw them away.

“Cassian.”

He loved the way you said his name. But it was different this time. He pulled his attention away from the kitchen table to look back at you. You leaned against the back of the loveseat in hesitation, your eyes revealing the weight of the decision you were about to make.

His throat tightened. “Yes?”

“I think it’s best if you stop coming here.” Your voice was laced with a vulnerability you hated and before Cassian could reply, you were speaking again. “I have to take care of my sister. I can’t risk her getting attached, more so than she already is and–and neither can I. We’ve lost so much already…”

A tear escaped your eye. You brushed it away with a trembling hand and then Cassian was bridging the distance between you both, his hand gently cupping your cheek and coaxing your gaze to his.

“Y/n,” he gently whispered. “You’re not going to lose me.”

“How can you say that? What if something happens and–”

“Please don’t push me away.”

“They call you the Lord of Bloodshed. You’re the commander of the High Lord’s armies. You made a name for yourself. And me? I am no one. I’m not worthy of love. Of you. You’ll soon realize it and grow tired of me–”

“Stop.” Cassian interrupted, bringing his other hand up to cup your face. His touch was both comforting and agonizing. “You are worthy of love and so much more and I want to prove it to you. There could be a room full of others but just like that night at the bonfire, I want you. I choose you.”

A heavy sigh escaped you as you gently removed his hands from your face. “But I can’t choose you. I have to choose Seraphine. I always will and right now, I can’t afford to have you both.”

The weight of your words hung in the air, a stark reminder of the responsibilities that anchored you, pulling you away from the love that beckoned.

Cassian grasped your hands in his, refusing to let them slip away. He did not want to let go of you. He understood the depth of your worries and the distress etched onto your features was breaking his heart. Why couldn’t you see yourself the way he saw you?

“I won’t force you into something that scares you, y/n.” He reassured you with a soft tone, his thumbs tracing soothing circles on the back of your hands. “I only want what’s best for you and Seraphine.”

Your lips trembled as you managed a small, strained smile.

“But you have to know that I love you–both of you. And this love, it’s not going anywhere. It’s a constant. A promise that will never waver.”

Cassian hadn’t returned and although you had asked for it, you couldn’t deny the lingering void in your heart. Seraphine sensed something was amiss when your voice wavered as you read her a bedtime story shortly after he left. Surprisingly, she refrained from asking about Cassian until a week later, almost as if she dreaded hearing the news that he wouldn’t be coming back.

When she finally did, tears welled in her eyes and you comforted her, convincing yourself it was for the best. However, the attempt of reassurance was futile and did little to ease your own pain.

Seraphine sighed, absentmindedly nudging the green vegetable on her plate. Scrumps was propped on the table, facing her with its stitched eyes. “At least I still have you,” she murmured to the pegasus plush. “You’ll never leave me, right?”

You frowned at the sight, feeling helpless and unsure how to alleviate your sister’s sorrow. This was precisely what you had tried to shield her from and it stung to realize it was too late. The damage had already been done.

Your attention was then pulled away as the creaking door to the tavern swung open. The room fell into silence. The dining Illyrians, previously immersed in their conversations, cast furtive glances toward the entrance.

In stepped the formidable son of Ironcrest’s war-lord, Kallon. Another Illyrian stepped in behind him but he was overshadowed by Kallon’s commanding presence. His gaze swept over the room, eyes like steel, assessing every face, every corner of the establishment. The tension in the air was palpable. He was looking for someone.

The regulars exchanged subtle nods, acknowledging the unspoken command to show respect. Whispers died down, and the muted sound of footsteps echoed as he advanced further into the tavern. The atmosphere had shifted from one of amiability to one of quiet deference, all eyes now focused on the figure who seemed to hold the establishment in the palm of his hand.

Your eyes were wide and you felt your body tense. You almost forgot how to breathe when Kallon’s cold eyes found yours. Seraphine, who sensed your distress, hopped off her chair and ran to you. Her tiny hand found yours and you guided her to stand behind you as Kallon continued his approach.

“Kallon,” you managed to find your voice, forcing a smile onto your face as you bowed your head in respect. “Should I prepare a table for you and your companion?”

“There’s no need.” He replied. He then turned his head at the eavesdropping Illryians, his gaze a silent warning to them. It wasn’t until the menacing look on his face prompted a couple to abandon their tables and those that remained to resume their conversations that he turned his attention back to you. “I came here to speak to you.”

“Me?” You echoed, your voice daring to break. The male behind Kallon remained quiet but you caught the way his gaze had flickered to your little sister, who hid behind your skirts. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“It has come to my attention that you have been fraternizing with an Illyrian male from Windhaven–” Kallon’s lips curled up in disgust and you felt Seraphine’s grip on you tighten. “– who just so happens to also be the High Lord’s general.”

“His name is Cassian.” Seraphine said, peeking out from behind you to scowl at Kallon.

Kallon looked toward your sister with a scoff. You pressed Seraphine into your hip to keep her from speaking again, worried of the consequences that may unfold. “He’s just a friend.”

Kallon’s attention drifted back to you, his gaze burning into you. “It seems you and I have different understandings of a friend because friends don’t kiss each other now do they?”

Your breath hitched. The two of you seldom interacted with each other. The last time you did was to report your mother’s murder. You cursed yourself at that moment, disappointed with yourself. You had failed to recognize that Cassian was well known throughout Illyria and to make it worse, he was from Windhaven. A rival camp to Ironcrest. You wondered how long Kallon had been following you and why he waited to confront you about it now, several months later since Cassian’s first visit.

“I–”

“It’s not a good look for you, y/n.” Kallon shook his head in disapproval with a small tut. “You of all people should know the consequences of whoring yourself out. Finding a husband will be troublesome for you and if you continue down this path, it is not a good example for your dear little sister.”

Your blood grew cold at the insult and you forced yourself to look up to keep the tears that were threatening to spill at bay. “I’m s–”

“It seems I may have failed you in some aspects.” Kallon interrupted, raising a finger at you in warning. He turned his attention to the empty glasses lined at the counter. “It is my job, after all, to help my father run this camp and it seems that I have overlooked you. Poor little y/n. You have been running this business and raising your sister all on your own.”

His fingers danced along the counter, a wicked gleam in his eyes. The sound of breaking glass echoed through the air, a sharp and crystalline shatter that reverberated through your bones and had Seraphine wincing into your body. You stared at the shattered glass at your feet, heart pounding through your ears.

“But it is not your place to do so.” Kallon reprimanded, his voice seething with a barely contained intensity. “It is his.”

You lifted your gaze.

The Illyrian male that had been quietly observant finally stepped forward. His features held a strange familiarity you couldn’t quite place. His eyes were cold and distant, lips pressed into a taut line.

“This is Aerik. Seraphine’s uncle.”

The wind was knocked out of you as the day you had dreaded finally came. Kallon had tracked down your step father’s only living relative– his brother, Aerik. The illusion you had so carefully crafted was unraveling and you found yourself at the precipice, forced to surrender the tavern and Seraphine, as if she were a mere object, to him.

But you knew the future that laid ahead for Seraphine if she stayed with her uncle. To you, she was your precious little sister, the one you had devoted your life to. To him, she was disposable, reduced to nothing but a bargaining tool once she was of marrying age.

She would not have the freedom to be a child as she did with you. She would be groomed to become a submissive wife and soon enough, her wings would be clipped. A tradition that had been banned but not enforced in Ironcrest. You could not allow any harm to fall to your sister, not when you were alive and capable of taking care of her. You wondered if this is how your mother had felt when she had you, cornered by the cruel world.

Kallon had left moments ago, along with the remaining customers, but now without a warning. A threat to harm you and Cassian in unimaginable ways if Kallon heard of Cassian meeting with you again.

"I don't give a fuck if he's the High Lord's pet. This is my father's camp and as his son, I have the authority to punish those who dare cross us as needed."

You had instructed Seraphine to go to the kitchens to help tidy up, leaving you and Aerik alone. Your eyebrows knitted together in an exasperated manner, bewildered by his demands.

You were a half breed–half high fae, half Illyrian–and a bastard. You were of little significance to Aerik–to any male in this damned camp, if you were being honest–and his plans with Seraphine did not include you. He wanted to take her away from you. For good.

He shifted, directing himself toward the kitchen and you were stopping him. Your hand gripped his arm desperately. “Seraphine needs me.”

Aerik tore his arm from your grasp with a snarl, using it to grip yours instead in retribution. His grip was hard and bruising and had you grimacing. “Is this what she needs?” He seethed, vividly gesturing to the tavern and lack of order in Seraphine’s life.

“It seems clear to me that you need her a lot more than she needs you.”

Cassian told himself he would give you space, as tortuous as it was for him. It’s what you had asked him for. He missed you dearly, often wondering if you were feeling that painful ache in your heart too. Despite the temptation, he resisted the urge to ask Azriel to check in on you with his shadows, not wanting to bring his friend into this tangled messy emotions he found himself grappling with. He couldn’t shake the desire to check up on you one more time, hoping that you might've change your mind.

A week later, when an overwhelming sense of unease gripped him, he set off for Ironcrest.

Cassian pushed open the door to the familiar tavern, his second home as Rhysand had teased him weeks ago. His eyes scanned the room in search of you like they always did, but he couldn't spot the one person he was hoping to see. His head was then turning to the table Seraphine often occupied only to find it empty.

An unsettling feeling knotted in his stomach when he couldn’t spot either of you, not missing the glare the male behind the counter had sent his way. It confirmed his suspicion that you weren’t here. Growing concerned, he decided to look for you, hoping you were safe and sound at home.

The journey was swift as it was one he knew by heart, his footsteps echoing through the quiet streets. When he reached your door, he hesitated for a moment. He could see the subtle glow of a light, coming from the small window that he knew faced your living room. He heard a squeak come from inside, recognizing it as Seraphine’s, and then he was knocking on your door.

There was a faint rustling inside and then the door creaked open. Cassian’s confusion set in as he initially saw no one at the other side. It wasn’t until he heard a sharp gasp that his gaze shifted downward, relief washing over him as he spotted Seraphine.

“Cas Cas!” Seraphine’s expression brightened, reveling in his presence and wrapping her tiny arms around him when he crouched down. “I thought I’d never see you again!”

“It’s good to see you too, munchkin.” Cassian smiled fondly, lifting her up with ease. He had missed her so much too.

“Sera, it’s time for your ba–Cassian?” You blinked, your grip on the towel in your hand tightening. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Can I come in?”

You looked past his shoulders worriedly and hesitantly nodded.

Cassian stepped into the foyer, crouching down to let Seraphine down. She grasped at his hand, guiding him to the living room where you stood with a forced smile on your face.

His worry deepened as he looked at you. "You weren’t at the tavern so I came to–to see you.”

To make sure you’re alright, is what he wanted to say but within seconds of seeing you, he knew you weren’t. Yet, you still attempted to dismiss his concern with a casual shrug. “My step-uncle is taking over the tavern now.”

“Oh yeah, Cas! I have a step-uncle now and he’s so nice to me. He bought me a new coloring book and so many toys! Do you want to see?”

Cassian realized that the glaring male from the tavern must be Seraphine’s step-uncle. He caught the way you bit the inside of your cheek at your little sister’s words, sensing something more beneath the surface.

“Sure.” He replied to Seraphine.

He waited until she disappeared down the hallway to take a step closer to you. “Is everything okay?”

A fleeting moment of hesitation flickered in your eyes that you quickly concealed, hoping he didn’t notice. But he did.

"I'm fine, really. Just a bit tired but thankfully Aerik offered to step in to help.”

Despite her attempt to reassure him, Cassian couldn't shake the feeling of unease. The lines of worry etched on his face as he spoke, "You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

“Yeah,” you nodded your head nonchalantly at him.

“Y/n.” His voice was gentle but stern and he reached out for your hands.

His fingers accidentally brushed against the bruise Aerik had left the other night and you couldn’t mask the wince that followed. Cassian stilled, eyes glancing down and widening at the marking of your skin. “Y/n, Sweetheart–”

“It’s nothing.” You were pulling your arm from his grasp and out of his view, clasping them behind your back. “I tripped and hit my arm against the counter the other night.”

Cassian felt a burning feeling in his chest, his teeth clenching. Someone had touched you--hurt you.

“Does this have anything to do with the sudden appearance of Seraphine’s uncle?”

“No.” Your response was too quick to be anything but a lie. “Aerik has been kind to us. So kind that he offered to help me find a husband.”

More lies. Your fear and anxiety grew with every passing moment that Cassian remained in Ironcrest. Kallon’s menacing warnings echoed in your mind, threatening dire consequences for both you and Cassian, if he ever returned. Since he had gone to the tavern to look for you, you were sure Aerik had seen him. Cassian was not one to easily blend into the crowd with his imposing stature, striking features and seven siphons. It was only a matter of time before he would run off to go tell Kallon.

You knew Cassian was a formidable warrior from all the gossip and tales you'd heard at the bonfire. Still, you couldn't shake your fear. Cassian was in enemy territory. Vastly outnumbered. He had to leave.

Cassian shook his head in disbelief, swallowing hard. “What?”

Stepping forward, he closed the distance between you, his intense gaze burning into your skin as you actively avoided it. “Is this what you want?”

“It’s what is best,” you told him, sidestepping his question. “So please leave. I don’t want Aerik to get the wrong idea by having you here in the house alone with me.”

“Y/N–”

“I’m so sorry, Cassian.”

Walking away, you felt your heart begin to shatter, unaware that you had also shattered his. You wiped at your eyes once you knew you were out of his view, holding your breath as you moved down the hallway. Seraphine ran past you with her coloring book and you couldn’t bring yourself to stop her.

Seraphine paused, her chest heaving as she caught up with her breath. Her lips curved into a deep frown when she spotted Cassian heading for the door. “Cas Cas, where are you going? I was going to show you my coloring book…"

"I thought you were here to stay.”

Cassian couldn’t bring himself to answer her and as young as she was, she recognized the look in his eyes. It mirrored the expression on your face before you had to deliver bad news.

“You can leave again if you want.” Seraphine said as realization dawned on her. She casted her head down.

“I’ll remember you though. I remember everyone that leaves.”

[series masterlist]

A/N: don't hate me for breaking Cas's heart. I just live for the angst 🫠 if it's any consolation, this will have a happy ending 🩷

tagging: @kemillyfreitas

#cassian x reader #cassian x you #cassian x y/n #acotar cassian #acotar imagine #cassian imagine #cassian fluff #cassian angst #acotar fluff #acotor angst #acotar x reader #cassian acotar #soy

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azrielslightintheshadows · 6 months

Text

Princess

Azriel x f!Reader.

One of the series I’m currently working on. Enjoy!

Summary; Reader is Mor’s new friend that she found in the winter court while she was away for business. Y/n has been raised as a princess since her parents wanted to wed her to a noble fae in order to climb the social ranks. When her parents are brutally murdered y/n is left alone without a clue about the harsh reality or the brutality of the world. Mor finds her and takes her back to Velaris afraid of what might happen to her if she was left to live on her own. Will y/n survive the hate she will receive from certain members of the inner circle -including her mate- regarding the way she grew up?

Warnings; angst, mentions of abuse, trauma and death.

Masterlist.

Princess Masterlist.

Chapter 4

Now you know. The shadows whispered in your ear and disappeared.

You didn’t know why they showed you this, it felt like invading Azriel’s privacy. Your heart broke as the image of the boy resurfaced, so young and thin. You shook your head and walked to the bathroom to wash yourself, the house had already changed the sheets.

After fixing yourself as much as you could you walked to the dining room and found Cassian, Nesta and Azriel there, they all looked at you when you entered, and Cassian smiled.

“Good morning” he said and turned back to his food.

“Good morning” you smiled and took a seat next to Azriel. You didn’t know why but you felt the need to be close to him, you couldn’t remember what happened last night, the only memory you had was walking into a bar and then Azriel placing you on the bed and leaving. Maybe it was the nightmare that made you feel this way. Azriel was surprised too yet he didn’t say anything nor moved away.

A plate of food appeared in front of you and you started eating.

“So y/n would you like to join us for training?” Nesta asked and you almost gasped, you didn’t expect her to be nice to you.

“I don’t want to be a burden, I have never fought in my life… I will just hold you back” you replied, your voice soft. Nesta snorted and shook her head.

“Nonsense, I hadn’t fought a day in my life when I started training too. At least come and watch and then you can make your decision” she shrugged.

“Okay” you nodded.

You glanced at Azriel who had an approving look on his face and instantly you felt proud of yourself.

After breakfast you went into your room and Nesta followed you. “Listen… I don’t really like you, we’ve all been through a lot and your appearance here is mocking us. You will never be able to understand the sacrifices we made and our trauma but as a female its my duty to help you become strong, confident and independent. Take the opportunity, you won’t regret it.”

You didn’t know how to feel about her statement, you admired her. Most females on your circle tried to destroy the others, it was one of the most successful ways to eliminate the threat and get married first. Nesta could see the gears in your head turning and that was enough for her, so she continued. “Lets find some proper clothes for training.”

She opened your closet and snorted when she saw the pink dress you wore the first day. “You should burn that thing, it’s hideous” she made a gagging noise and continued her search. You frowned and your mind went back to the day you bought it. That dress saved your life and even though it was ugly, it grounded you, it is the only thing that reminds you the past.

“I think these are okay” she said and threw a pair of leggings and a top on your bed. “Get dressed and come find us at the roof” and with that she left.

You picked the clothes and tried them on. The top reached your belly button and you felt exposed, your whole silhouette was on display, and you blushed as you saw yourself. Come on, everyone here wears this type of clothes. You can do this. You told yourself and with a deep shaky breath you left the room, hurrying off to the roof.

Cassian, Nesta, Azriel and two females were already there. The females had formed a line and Cassian stood in front of them, demonstrating some moves and then watching them repeat them, correcting them when needed. Azriel was behind the females correcting their stance and sometimes kicking their legs, making them lose balance.

“You should always be aware of your surroundings. Get up and correct your stance. Now.” He barked and moved to the next one.

Everything looked scary and painful, making you shiver. You gathered all your courage and walked outside, taking a seat on the bench in front of them.

“Hello y/n” Cassian smiled and moved to the side so you could see better. You waved at him, and your eyes fell on Azriel. He stood frozen behind the line, his eyes scanning your body. He licked his bottom lip and turned his attention to the females.

Your face burned and you made a mental note to dress like that more often. Then you frowned. He hates you and you should hate him too for the way he is treating you. Stop this. You reprimanded yourself and focused on the females.

They were moving with such grace, you felt like you were watching a choreography, their braids flowing around with every move they made, their muscles flexing their faces turning cold and then soft with a smile as Cassian shouted praises. You felt hypnotized and wondered if you could ever look this elegant with sweat running down your body. You thought about the females you used to admire, all living inside their pink bubble, only caring about their looks and lifestyle. The most successful female of your village had locked her sister in a cell when one lord visited their small cottage, so she didn’t have to compete. She managed to wed him but at a great cost. Her younger sister was afraid of the dark, when she threw her into the cell, she went mad and started banging her body on the wall, she cracked her skull and died. The older sister didn’t even cry and she pushed the funeral a few weeks later so she could prepare her wedding. Her sister’s body rotted in that cell, and she didn’t even care.

You glanced at the females here, they looked elegant and strong and successful. They didn’t care about males, they only cared about themselves. The looks they sent you filled with hope and encouragement in addition to what Nesta said earlier made your heart swell. They didn’t see each other as competition. No. They cared about other females, they wanted to help. You could fit here. These were the females you should admire, the females you could have as your role models and the thought made you smile, determination filling your body and making your blood boil. You got up and hurried off to your room, you opened the closet and picked the pink dress. You walked back outside and stared at Nesta. She stared back a smirk appearing on her face as she hurried off and came back outside with a candle in her hand. She offered it to you, and you threw the dress on the ground, lighting it up on fire and watching it burn. Nesta looked at you with pride and she clapped.

“Welcome to the real world princess” she smiled.

You glanced around and noticed the other females, they were clapping too, Cassian let out a low whistle and Azriel grinned. Your heart melted and you let out a giggle, your eyes filling with tears as you whispered, “Thank you”.

You weren’t thanking them for their applause, you were thanking them for supporting you, for opening your eyes and showing you that its okay to be strong and independent. And as you stood on that roof, proud of yourself and ready to take the wheel of your life, your gaze fell onto Azriel, and the bond snapped.

Your smile turned into a frown and your whole body shuddered. No, no, no. I just decided to take control of my life, I can’t be bound to a male. You thought and stared at him wide-eyed. Azriel noticed your expression and furrowed his eyebrows.

“Are you okay?” Nesta asked.

“Yes, just lost in the emotion.” You smiled.

“Okay I think we had enough for today. Tomorrow we will start our training at the same time, I’m guessing you will be joining us y/n” Cassian boomed. You nodded and smiled.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You were in your room, trying to do the moves you saw them doing earlier, you wanted to be prepared for training tomorrow. You were interrupted by a knock on your door, you could feel Azriel through the bond, so you stayed silent hoping he would go away.

“I know you’re in there” he shouted. You sat on your bed without replying. One of his shadows slithered down the door and shoot up, turning the lock and opening the door. You cursed under your breath and got up.

Azriel strolled into the room with a soft expression.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing, everything is fine” you replied. “Fine my ass” he snarled “you felt it snap”.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” you whispered taking a step back. The cold expression returned on his face as he growled;

“Fine, its better this way. The Cauldron was wrong, I can’t have a weak female in my life. I showed you the city like Rhysand asked now don’t fucking come near me again unless its during training” the way his tone changed when he said training made shivers run down your spine. His voice was filled with painful promises and as he left your room you couldn’t help but notice the sadistic grin that appeared on his face.

Your heart skipped a beat and fear mixed with excitement filled your senses, the sting of his words long forgotten as you thought about training with him. You wouldn't let him treat you like that again, if you could manage that then you could do everything. I'm going to blow your mind shadowsinger. You thought and smirked.

I hope you enjoy this part, from now on the series will focus on female power so if you are here just for romance you shouldn't waste your time on this.

@glitterypirateduck , @zara-aliza08 , @mika-no-sekai-blog , @purpleshoelaces , @act1839 , @fasoaurore , @pinksmellslikelove , @bunnyredgirl , @lectoracronica , @tuggboatfishin , @sunnysideup000 , @blessthepizzaman , @universevsd , @raisinggray , @ssmay123 , @kalulakunundrum , @justasillylittlegoofyguy , @tsunami-of-tears , @just-a-social-casualty-1 , @thelov3lybookworm

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multifandomwriter56 · 1 year

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As It Was

A/N: Hello! I know I've been MIA for a long time. Life has been crazy and going back to college while having a full time job has taken a lot of my time. But I'm hoping to get back to writing on this blog. I've missed it and I have missed everyone so much. I make no promises but I'm going to try.

Summary: Arthur and Y/n have always been super close; but when the boys get back from the war, things have change.

Characters: Arthur Shelby, Tommy Shelby, Sister!Reader

Warnings: language, mentions Arthur's attempt at suicide

Word Count: 2,698

*gif is not mine*

The rumor about the men who came back from the war are not the same men that left; It’s true. No one came back the same after the war. Not a single soul.

But it wasn’t just the soldiers who changed. Those who were stuck at home, waiting for their loved ones to return. They changed too.

Y/n couldn’t pinpoint exactly when she changed. She just remembers one day realizing she’s not the little girl who loved to draw rainbows, horses, and flowers anymore. Or the little girl who taught Finn how to aim at a moving rat, even though their Aunt Polly despised them touching guns. Not even the little girl who would take walks with her favorite brother, Arthur.

Y/n would never say she has a favorite brother aloud, but she knows her family sees how close the oldest brother and youngest sister are. There may be eighteen years difference between them, but they would sometimes act like twins.

Y/n enjoys John’s company and loves his jokes. Finn, she will always protect and care for. Ada, well they clash on fashion and boys, but they would kill for one another. And Tommy, well, the two siblings have never been able to get along. Tommy had big dreams that didn’t include his baby sister. Greta wanted to change the world and wanted Tommy to help her. Y/n wanted Tommy to help take care of the family instead of spending all his time at the docks waiting for the young woman to show up.

Even at a young age, Y/n knew it would always be Tommy who would provide for the family; be their leader. She loves Arthur, but he’s more of a follower than a leader. Tommy has always had ideas and Y/n knew those ideas would help them rise in Small Heath.

So with the boys off fighting in the war, Y/n made sure to follow her brother’s orders on how to run the shop.

Polly was the only one Y/n would let stray from Tommy’s list.

“You’re ten years old, Y/n. You are not the boss and know nothing about bets.” Her aunt admonishes.

“I know enough, Polly. I have Tommy’s list and Arthur’s notes.”

“So now you’re an expert at running betting shops?”

“I wasn’t saying that.” The ten year mumbles.

“Then you’ll do your best to remember who is in charge of the business.”

Y/n knows when to stop when it comes to her aunt. “Yes, ma’am.”

Y/n will admit, she learnt a lot from her aunt; not just business, but women’s business.

But now that the war is over, Y/n’s noticed how more involved Tommy is; how he keeps adding to the business.

Arthur is less present when it comes to his baby sister. They don’t go on walks anymore.

The fourteen year old moved into Arthur’s home when they came back. She wanted away from her very controlling brother and closer to the brother she knows best.

Except now, it seems that she understands Tommy more than she does Arthur.

The war may have changed all of her brothers, but something broke in Arthur. His nightmares keep her up at night and the one time she tried to wake him up, he almost choked her to death.

After that, she would either lay in her bed, listening to his screams or she would get John if the screams lasted longer than ten minutes.

“You shouldn’t be at Arthur’s alone.” Tommy tells his sister as he lit a cigarette.

“I’m not alone. Arthur is there.”

“You know what I mean, Y/n. Arthur is struggling and you being around isn’t helping.”

Y/n scoffs. “Actually, I think I help Arthur more than you can ever imagine trying to help him. You just hate that I’m not under your roof and you can’t boss me around.”

Tommy points his lit cigarette at her, his eyebrows raised in warning. “You will do as you're told or I will turn you over my knee.”

Y/n once again scoffs. Tommy has never disciplined her, he wasn’t ever around to take her in hand. That dirty task was left to their aunt. “Not only am I fourteen years old, but you have never raised a hand to me. Why start now?”

“Don’t push me, Y/n.”

Yeah, he’s bluffing, Y/n thinks. She stands to her feet. “Yes sir, Sergeant Major. If that’s all, Sergeant, I would like to finish my studies. Wouldn’t want to show up to school without my work now would we?”

Tommy pinches the bridge of his nose, resisting the urge to keep arguing with his sister. He, instead, waves his hand in a dismissive gesture without even glancing up.

The day Y/n dreaded came. Arthur had tried to commit suicide by hanging himself after he fell for their father’s con. She had found him at their home, raging and destroying the room. She skillfully dodged his swings and shouted at him.

“Arthur! It’s me! It’s Y/n!” She ducks when he throws an ashtray at her head. “It’s Y/n, brother!”

“Y/n?”

The broken voice has Y/n on the verge of tears. “Yes.” She nods her head. “It’s Y/n. I’m here.” She makes her way to her brother as his knees buckle and he lands on the floor. She holds him close, his chin digging into her shoulder as he sobs.

Y/n doesn’t know how long they stay in this position but she loses feeling in her left shoulder and feet.

When Arthur finally is able to compose himself, he stands to his feet, rubbing a shaking hand through his hair.

“Arthur, what happened to your neck?”

The older man covers the deep bruise around his neck. “Nothing.”

Y/n starts to shake her head, the pieces falling together. “No, no. You wouldn’t. You wouldn’t leave me here.” She stops talking but her head is still moving side to side; not wanting to accept that her brother, her hero, tried to kill himself.

“Y/n, I’m sorry, I-”

“No!” She sharply cuts him off. “Don’t apologize. I just need a moment to process.” She sits in a chair that he hadn’t flipped yet. “I need to figure out what to do. I need- no you need some of Polly’s ointment, and a drink… yeah, yeah.” She stands to her feet, ignoring the concerned look coming from her brother. “Sit down, Arthur. I’ll pour you some whiskey and get some ointment to help with the bruising.

“Y/n, I don’t- fuck.” Arthur curses when she completely ignores him and heads for the kitchen.

Only a few minutes pass until Y/n comes back. She hands the glass of whiskey to him and starts applying the ointment.

Y/n stayed with her brother until he decided to go to bed. She heads up to her room. In the morning, she’ll tell Polly. Fuck knows what Tommy will say if he hears about this. She never knows if he will help Arthur or make it worse.

In the morning. Y/n told her aunt and she should have known her aunt would tell their fearless leader. So she wasn’t surprised to see him walk in as she hands Arthur a cup of tea.

The look Tommy sends her is clear.

She smiles softly at her eldest brother. “I will be up in my room if you need me.” She tells him, her invitation not extending to the other brother.

She heads upstairs but does not go into her room. She sits on the top step, listening as Tommy belittles their brother. She rolls her eyes. She should’ve known Tommy would never express real feelings.

“Just use a fucking gun, man.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Y/n shouts as she storms down the stairs. “That’s all you have? Next time, use a gun?”

“Leave it be, Y/n.”

Y/n glares at Arthur. “No, Arthur, I can’t just leave it be.” She turns her glare back at the brother she is upset with. “I know it’s hard for you to express feelings now, but I would rather you not say anything at all than talk to our brother that way. He deserves better.”

“Y/n, that’s enough.”

“Fuck off, Thomas!” She shouts as she steps in his space. “You only care about having Arthur around so he can beat and kill people who piss you off. That’s all that matters to the all powerful Tommy Shelby.”

The slap echoes throughout the whole house, each sibling frozen in their place.

Y/n holds a hand over her now stinging cheek, staring at the man who has never raised a hand to her. Her and Tommy may not get along but she never thought he would physically harm her. Never.

She turns to Arthur, wondering how he will react. To her surprise he’s staring at her in disappointment.

“You shouldn’t have spoken to Tommy like that, Y/n. You were out of line.”

“I was out of line?” She snaps. “What am I supposed to do, Arthur, eh? Am I supposed to stand at attention and wait for the sergeant to bark orders? Huh?”

“Enough.” He doesn’t shout, but his voice still booms, causing his baby sister to flinch, preparing for another blow.

The guilt had already come, but seeing her flinch made Tommy feel sick to his stomach. “Y/n, I-” He reaches out to comfort her but stops when she steps back.

“Don’t you fucking touch me. I hate you.” She looks at Arthur. “I hate you both.”

“Let her go, Arthur.” Tommy orders when the eldest Shelby stands to follow Y/n who ran out of the house.

***

For a month, Y/n stays with John and his kids; but as much as she loves her nieces and nephews, she refuses to stay there another night.

Lizzie Stark, who’s been helping her brother with the kids, tells her to go back home, to work it out with Arthur.

“And Tommy?” The fourteen year old asks the older woman.

Lizzie smirks. “Tell him to fuck off.”

Y/n smiles at that. She hopes her brother doesn’t wait too long to give Lizzie the ring he’s been hiding.

Knowing exactly where her brother will be, Y/n heads to the Garrison. Taking a deep breath, she knocks on the locked door.

“We’re closed.” Is the muffled response from the barmaid.

“It’s Y/n Shelby.” She knows that’s all she has to say for the doors to open. Grace has been kind to her since she’s started working at the pub, and Y/n appreciates that, but she doesn’t trust the barmaid. She’s not sure why, but she has a hard time believing this Irish woman just decided to move to Birmingham without a real reason.

When the door opens, she smiles politely at Grace before squeezing past her. She heads straight to the back room, knowing her eldest brother will be attempting to balance the books.

She comes to halt mere centimeters from the entrance, her heart racing. What if he really is on Tommy’s side? What if he thinks she really did deserve to be slapped? What if she’s completely lost the only person to ever love her for her?

“Gracie, is that you? You ready to help me with these numbers yet?”

Y/n laughs quietly through the breath she was holding. Who is she kidding? Arthur is one of the kindest, loving people she knows. How could he hate her… right?

“It’s me, Arthur.” She barely gets that short sentence out above a whisper.

“Y/n?”

She steps fully into the room, her arms behind her back. “Hi.”

Arthur just stares at his baby sister, the anger, the pain of not seeing her for days, and the guilt… the guilt that has literally eaten him alive, rises to the surface. His loyalty to his brother clouded his love for his sister and he will hate himself for the rest of his life.

Being a Shelby makes it hard for them to express their emotions through words. No matter the emotion, the words usually fail to spit out, but actions, they’ve never been a problem for a Shelby.

So instead of saying the words, “I’m sorry” Arthur jumps to his feet and pulls the young girl into his arms, holding as tight as he can.

And since Y/n is not only a Shelby but also able to read her brother like a book, Y/n returns the hug and her anger disappears.

“You’re coming back home, ain’t ya?”

Y/n smiles, glad she was right. “My bag is already back in my room.”

Arthur squeezes her one more time, dropping a wet kiss on top of her head before releasing her. “Good.”

Y/n goes to ask him about how he’s been but a familiar voice stops her.

“Arthur, Tommy told me to get you. Family meeting in ten.” Finn turns to his sister, hope in his eyes. “Are you back?”

Y/n had kept in touch with Finn, having him fill her in on everything that was happening while she was gone. Finn didn’t know much, but she was able to fill in the gaps on most of what he told her.

“Yes, I’m back.”

Finn smiles. “Good. Arthur’s been too emotional and Tommy’s about to shoot him if he hears him complain one more time about you not being at the family meetings.”

Y/n laughs at Finn’s blunt statement; laughing harder when Arthur spouts profanities as he takes off after the youngest Shelby. She follows the duo, figuring it’s time for her to show her faceto the rest of the family.

Her smile stays in place as they make their way to Watery Lane, listening to her brother banter back and forth about what to tell and what to keep to yourself. So far, Finn’s winning the argument.

She can feel her smile start to get smaller the closer they get to her old home; and the smile completely disappears when Arthur opens the door for her. She comes to a halt at the threshold of the betting shop, her eyes immediately on the Peaky Blinders leader.

She’s thankful he hasn’t noticed her yet, but that little comfort quickly disappears when her aunt tells him to shut up as she makes her way to her niece.

Y/n easily accepts the hug from her aunt, the woman who practically raised her, but winces when she gets a clip to her ear.

“A month is too damn long, girl.”

“I’m sorry.” She whispers as Polly releases her; a small smile appears when her aunt gently caresses her cheek.

Knowing she needs to face the elephant in the room, or more commonly known as Thomas Shelby, Y/n peels her eyes off her aunt and stares straight into her brother’s eyes, hoping he can’t see the fear in them.

Compared to the other family members, Tommy is a mute when it comes to emotions. The only time words and emotions are mixed together is when he’s angry. He doesn’t say “I love you”, “I need you”, or anything that is remotely tied to emotions.

That said, the man is a master at showing his emotions through actions. One look can tell you so much about the gang leader. You just have to know how to read them; and Y/n is a master at this skill. She’s almost as good as their aunt.

So when she sees the barely noticeable nod of approval, and watches as Tommy pulls out a chair; she knows she has been welcomed back by their fearless leader.

And after she sits, he gently kisses her cheek, the same cheek he hurt a month ago, and she knows he’s asking for forgiveness.

She grasps his hand before he can pull away, giving it one good squeeze, so he knows he’s been forgiven.

They will never have a relationship like her and Arthur, or like him and Ada; but they can coexist together in their family; and that’s enough for them both.

Peaky Blinders: @psychkunox @theshelbyclan @lilymurphy03 @findinghisredrighthand

Forevers: @desiredposion @theseakrakence @simonsbluee

#arthur shelby x sister!reader #tommy shelby x sister!reader #shelby!reader #peaky blinders one shot #peaky blinders #tommy shelby #arthur shelby

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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butch--dean · 10 months

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Thinking about Dean during the Stanford era just before everything went down going to see Brokeback Mountain in theaters. He heard whispers about it but would deny that he knew anything about it if anyone had been around to ask. One night he sneaks into a theatre in a mid-sized town (not so big that it would be busy, not so small that he would stand out). He buys tickets for a different film and sneaks into a late-night showing, and makes sure to sit in the back so he can avoid the judgmental gaze of other patrons (they're not judging you, Dean, they're here for the same reason you are).

Thinking about Dean watching the slow-building yearning and the casual displays of intimacy and affection between Jack and Ennis during their summer ranching. Thinking about how they both go on to get married and have kids but continue to feel so deeply dissatisfied with their lives. Thinking about their reunion 4 years later and a kiss so frenzied that it bruised their noses. Thinking about twenty years of back-and-forth, of yearning for something one of them is too afraid of have. Thinking about the heartbreak of “I wish I knew how to quit you” and “sometimes I miss you so much I can’t hardly stand it” and "it's because of you, Jack, that I'm like this," and "there ain't ever enough time." Thinking about Dean silently breaking down during Ennis' call to Jack's widow, and again when he enters the closet of his lover's childhood bedroom to find a relic of their relationship, hidden away in a dark corner. Private. Loved.

When Dean left the theatre, he was a changed person - heartbroken for something that, in that very moment, he couldn't name within himself. I think that he carries the story with him throughout the series. Eventually, he is able to name that heartbreak - of loving someone so completely but never being able to say it. Of fearing what others would do if they knew, of having someone but never allowing yourself to actually have it.

Of course he sees the comparisons to be made between Cas and him. He sees what his insistence in believing in Cas, even when his gut tells him otherwise, means. He understands what is being left unspoken in long, drawn out gazes and crooked smiles. He knows that their post-death hugs and late nights spent chatting with each other while watching the old westerns that Dean loves mean so much more than they pretend.

I think that over the years, Dean would return to the film and re-mourn the loss of Jack. Over and over, on nights when Sam is out late researching in an archive and Dean knows he has a few hours alone. He has a torrented copy (because he can't risk the physical evidence being found, even after settling into the bunker). I think that Charlie probably downloaded for him, because of course - she knew. Maybe she slipped it in a batch of movies Dean requested from her, with a few of her own added in for good measure. He regrets never having the chance to thank her for that.

After Cas dies and goes to the empty, Dean hangs the jacket with the bloody handprint on the inside of his dresser door. He stands there and thinks about Ennis finding his and Jack's bloody shirts intertwined in a hidden spot in the back of his closet, together, after his death. Dean stands, staring at the jacket, heartbroken. He thinks about loving and losing and never-really-having. Of letting yourself bask in the sun, shining on your face. If he can't have Cas, he wishes that the universe, or Chuck, or whatever, had at least seen fit to have left him with Cas's trench coat to protect on the inside of his stained jacket. But it (or he) didn't, all he has left is the relic of his not-lover's handprint, marked in blood.

#hi this has been sitting in my drafts for several months and Jenna watching brokeback made me pull it back out #anyway I still have a lot of feelings about Dean and this movie #brokebacknatural #supernatural #destiel #my stuff #my writing

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jennibeultimate · 4 months

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No I don't feel the same way and actually from all sides I read much of the world is upset about the doping, but I guess you can make every lie up and you will find someone that believes Kamila would eat a strawberry cake from granpa right before a competition??? (That's not what I made up, that's what the official defense in front of the CAS hearing is)

This is from a Facebookgroup that got recommended to me...

I don't even have words anymore for the discrepancies in truth and fairytales...like yes she is/was a wonderful athlete but at what cost and because of what??? Would she be able to be that athlete if not for the drugs and medications she took??? 60 supplements and medications over the course of 2 years given to a 15 year old, is that normal??? How should any clean athlete win against someone with unfair background??? Kamila herself may not know anything about the performance enhancers but the adults do...

And the positive doping test itself all a crime by the big bad West??? And adults could have taken responsibility and her ban would not be 4 years, but instead they created fairytales to defend her. Eteri did not even take part in the investigation.

And Gold medal winner is Anna Shcherbakova (even if it's doubtful Valieva was the only one doping) who is also from Russia, so what a discredit to Anna too.

I understand to support Kamila Valieva - she is also a victim of the system and her team - but this won't change the fact that she placed 4th, that she cheated, that she doped, that she is banned.

#figure skating #kamila valieva #doping #will this ever find a conclusion #rant

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iskratempestmadness · 4 months

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Please can i request Baki with a crazy reader, like clinical insane, can we have his reaction with reader running out of the asylum, would he help her or put reader back in the hospital? Also how would he react with reader picking alot of figths in the asylum...sorry if my english is broke, i'm too lazy to check it 😁

Oh, it was hard, but I kind of did it.

Baki:

- Oh...

- he's confused...

- of course he's glad to see you, to spend time with you again, he'll give you shelter, but the more time he spends with you, the more convinced he is that he made the wrong decision

- the actions that you do have to be dealt with by him and it bothers him, but he has no choice but to just fix what he has done

- the interaction between you is also changing. He just doesn't know how you're going to behave in the next second, and it knocks him out of his rut.

- for example, you are talking calmly and then you just take and pour water on your feet from a kettle that has just boiled... He really doesn't know how to react to this. Naturally, he will provide you with first aid, contact Kureha, but he does not know how to prevent such situations in advance ...

- the more time Baki spends with you, the more convinced he is that you need to return and continue treatment... And the Kureha will confirm this.

- he will feel guilty as if he betrayed you, but Baki will convince himself that he did it for your own good.

Hanayama:

- It's hard for him.

- on the one hand, he is happy that you are back and that you are spending time with him as before, but he sees your insanity and... It's really sad for him.

- he will cover you and your actions to the end. He is a Yakuza boss, he has the opportunity to do this...

- the reason for this is his love for you, but Hana cannot close her eyes to your actions, although she tries very hard

- but the more time he spends with you, the more convinced he is that you need help.

- Hana sees that your insanity is more harmful to you than to others. He understands this when he comes home and sees you lighting a fire there, justifying your movements by saying that you "just wanted to cook him dinner, you didn't want to do anything wrong"

- and... It makes him sad... Or rather, he really feels sorry for you.. He's sorry that you're hurting yourself...

- as a result, Hana will prefer to hire personal ones for you, or send you to some elite clinic so that you will be treated more delicately.

Katsumi:

- shock

- and then the joy. You should know how much he missed you, how much he wanted to see you...

- He is so glad that at first he does not even notice his insanity, his joy has blinded him

- time passes and he begins to notice it, and the more time he spends with you, the more obvious it becomes to him.

- the most striking example of this was that you attacked him, of course, he was able to easily cope with you, but the fact that you explained your act by saying that Katsumi seemed frightening to you, made his mind completely clear

- and this causes him to panic. He doesn't know what you're going to do or if he can stop it, and it really makes him afraid.

- HE STILL CONTINUES TO BELIEVE YOU. He listens to how you were treated in a mental hospital, how you missed him, how painful it was for you without him. Even though your stories sometimes sound too absurd.

- and he will keep you with him, will justify your actions, try to cover for you when necessary, but he understands perfectly well that over time you get worse... Then why does Katsumi keep doing this? Perhaps because he still continues to live with memories... Or maybe it's because he doesn't know what you can do if you find out that he's going to put you in a mental hospital.

Jack:

- confused

- he's glad to see you, he missed you, but that situation is really worried about you.

- However, compared to others, he is more tolerant of this. He is naturally disturbed by your frequent mood swings, harsh laughter or crying, and lack of adequacy in behavior. However, he can bear it.

- but Jack WON'T let you hurt people or yourself. He'll grab you in his bear hug and won't let you go until you calm down. You kick, bite him, scream, hit him, it doesn't matter. He won't let you go until you calm down.

- he also makes sure that he made the wrong decision, but still leaves you with him for a while.

- a lot of consultations with the Courier, both telephone and personal. I may have brought him to you several times, but apart from the conclusion that you need to return to the mental hospital, nothing followed.

- Jack knows that very well himself. That's why he's going to send you back to the asylum. Not without remorse, but he did it anyway.

Retsu:

- his first thought is: "Oh my God"

- he knows perfectly well what's wrong with you

- even if you start lying to him that you've recovered, he won't believe you.

- it seems to me Retsu has seen a lot in this life, he is experienced, so one glance is enough for him to ensure that your condition leaves much to be desired.

- he'll send you to the hospital right away. Immediately. He is sure that it will be better for you and for the society. He understands perfectly well that you yourself cannot predict your actions, so he will do exactly that.

- but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel guilty about it. He is also experiencing a strong one.

- he was tempted to take you in, leave you for a while, try to limit your actions, somehow help you personally, but he understands that in your case it won't help ...

- in general, he did what he had to do

Shibukawa:

- ohhh

- this old man immediately realizes that something is wrong with you as soon as you cross the threshold of his house

- it takes him a couple of days to figure out what's wrong with you

- inadequate reaction, risky actions, even the smallest ones, aggression without a reason... It more than gives you away

- just like Retsu, he is experienced, he has lived a long life, he has seen a lot, including similar situations... But he could not even think how difficult it is sometimes to make the right decision

- he could have pretended that everything was fine with you in order to live as before, he would just have to keep you in check, so that you wouldn't do stupid things...

- however, he didn't do that... Because it won't do you any good, it might also make you feel worse.

- that's why he decides that bringing you back would be the best solution.

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aonungyoufuck · 1 year

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Runaway {Part 8}

Runaway Masterlist

DNI/BYF

Synopsis: with too much pain in your heart. You run away. However Neteyam brings you Ao'nung. So what else to do but Runaway together.

You had been Avoiding Ao’nung. More in fact you’ve been avoiding the entire family. And Ao’nung knew why. He had fought with his mother tooth and nail about it wasn't fair. How it wasn’t fair that even if he had the option to choose from whoever. That they still had a say in who he got to be with.

Thankfully his father. Eywa bless him, had tried to fight for him too. But Ronal was stubborn as she was ruthless. And they were nothing compared to what she chose. He knew you didnt mean to avoid him.

He could see it in your eyes how you longed for him. For you to be able to talk to either him or his sister. If he could, he'd change it all for you. But he was just the son, Not the leader yet and never if he had no Tsahik.

He didn’t understand. Had his mother not seen how wonderful you were? Had she not spoken of how brave and strong you were? He was so sure he didn’t need to worry about his mother. He was sure she adored you too.

And he saw your brother’s pitying looks. And your sisters given him looks of sorries.

He tried so desperately to talk with you. Secretly or not. But you had seem to take his mother’s words to heart.

Avoiding him. Never meeting his gaze. Never once even being able to breathe around him.

It was suffocating for the both of you. And he prayed to Eywa. He constantly prayed to her that if she was as kind as she had been now. To please let this love blossom much more.

He had known the sea as cruel and Harsh. But his mother had proven her much more.

It had been Lo’ak who was the most understanding. Your whole family had been so worried about you. Always weaving, never even seeing the sun unless absolutely necessary. It was Heartbreaking to Neytiri. You were her Eldest. The very spark of life that Jake and her needed.

She had seen you blossom until a strong warrior and she had seen you nearly died. She swore that whatever happened if Eywa let you live she would fight for you and your happiness as much as she could.

But you had stopped talking almost entirely. Never having that light in those eyes she knew since the day you took your first breath.

Jake had done his best. But he didn’t know what to do. So Neytiri had to watch your flame dim and die.

She couldn’t quiet say what it was. But she took a wild guess and was surprised by her youngest. It was confirmed. You were heartbroken. And she would not sit idle and watch it destroy you.

So one day while you were alone she entered. Beginning to make food before turning to you.

“Ma ‘Ite, Tell me what bothers you so” Neytiri finally asked. Watching as you stopped weaving to look at her.

“Nothing bothers me Sa’nok , I am fine” You could only speak, You had known your actions have been less then desirable and you had been so miserable.

You just wish you weren’t so easy to read.

“Its about a boy is it not?”

You couldn’t answer. For it would make it all to real in your heart.

“What is holding you back?”

“I am not enough for his mother”

“When has that ever stopped you from following your heart”

You looked at her. Eyes red from all the crying. How long it been? Months? You couldn’t remember, It had all blended together and it made your heart hurt so much worse. For you longed for those sweet words he told you. Wanting to repeat them back to him one day. But now you couldn’t

“Because i am not fit to be the Tsahik of this place”

There it was. That final nail in the coffin as your father always put it. It had been to real. Neytiri hadn’t been stupid. She knew that there was something. But she watched you destroy yourself these past five months and she had enough.

“I want to be enough. Why cant i be enough. I done everything as you all want me to. I done things right and ive done nothing wrong and yet I am not enough” You began to sob. A sob catching at your throat. “ Mother why cant it all go away”

Neytiri sighed. Holding you close to her.

“ I want to go away. I want to disappear. But i dont want you to follow me. Everyone’s made their place here. Its just me. I don't want to have to look at his face or his family” You wept.

Neytiri couldn’t hold you close enough. Couldn’t do much at all.

Neytiri had grown over the year. She had learned to accept it all. To accept Spider into their family. Had learned that her Kids are growing. Had grown to accept it all. And she had to learn to do it all over again.

“If you decide to leave, I will not stop you. If you think this is what will help with your heartache. If you do decide i will let the family know. We are Sully’s and Sully’s stick together my dearest”

You could only nod. Falling asleep in her arms. A decision being left out in the open. A decision you had already made.

—------------------------------------------------

It was night. The perfect time really. Your family had already bid their goodbyes to you. Your mother had already explained it all. You truly didn’t want to go. But being here brought you too much pain.

Everyone was reluctant to let you go. But understood as to why. Your flame had died.

You explained it would be only for a short while. Maybe making it like a short trip to ease your mind and soul. And would bring back things for them and the clan when you are to return.

Your parents would pass by the message. Though you knew that Ronal would be more than happy. And you would come back hopefully with those feelings gone.

You called to your Ikran. Silently praying that no one would wake.

“So you are leaving..”

You turned. Seeing Neteyam look down Shamefully while Ao’nung was right beside him. His face was tired. Everything about him looked tired.

“Nete!”

“I am sorry. But i am your brother. And as much as i dont like the idea of Ao’nung being my brother..No offense by the way. I cannot stand to sit by and watch it destroy the both of you”

You avoided Ao’nung’s gaze. Neteyam brought your hand and intertwined it with his. A pit in your stomach forming.

“I…Im sorry i avoided you for so long” You voiced. Looking at Ao’nung’ “but i didnt want to anger your mother more than she already was”

“Is this why you’re running away?”

“...yes..no” you sighed whipping your eyes again for who knows that time that day. “I want to get rid of these feelings for you. I had hoped you would too while i was gone”

“So you do regret what you feel for me?”

“I never did and i never will. But Lets face it. This thing we feel isn’t going to happen and you know it. So long as your mother is there. She will never see me for anything but a Sully. The outsider”

It was Quiet. Far longer than you had hoped. Nothing but the sound of the ocean and the tide.

You so longed for his touch and yet it felt like it was burning you. So long as he stood there and said nothing it was like a knife to your heart. May Eywa take away your pain now.

“I wont let that happen”

“Ao’nung-”

“In you is all Gentleness. All perfections of the world, so my spirit languishes perpetually by your absence”

There they were again. Those sweet words that had swept you off your feet. The words you so longed and craved for. Staring at him. His eyes burning with a passion he had never known before until you.

“Eywa know’s your name, I've been praying all these nights. For you are the only woman i have chosen according to my heart”

He lifted your hand and placed it on his chest. There it was that sweet tune of his soul. You had heard it once and it ached to be with you. To forever hold you within its grasp.

He didn’t know what he was saying. He just knew that if you were going. Well may as well say it all now.

“And if you go what strength have i that i may bear it. That i may be and have patience while you are gone?”

You looked at him. Eye to eye.

“Even if you go i will await you. Even if you chose another i will await until we are reborn again and we can be with each other. For no one’s ever made me feel this way. So what have you to leave, When i am all you think about?”

You bit your lip. Hand on his chest and one at your Ikran.

“If you two leave. I will not say a word. I am just here to wish my sister a goodbye”

Ao’nung nodded. Never breaking eye contact with you.

“You cannot follow me”

“Why not?”

“Because you are everything to this clan too. What say you, You aren’t build for the woods. And i am not for the sea”

“I will follow you outside of Pandora if i must. I will follow you to the end of our lifetimes, So please do not push me away too. I cannot bear it any longer than i have”

“Are you really willing to leave your family?”

“I am” He hadn’t hesitated.

“ I dont know when i’ll be back”

“Doesn't matter so long as im there to have you”

“We dont be able to mate as traditions say”

“But Eywa has blessed us with this now”

You wept. You cried again for who knows how long. But you just held onto Ao’nung Finally feeling that longing burning he always seemed to radiate. “What makes me so special to you”

“You make my heart beat far more than any other. I would hope that would be enough for you”

“It is. But Ao’nung what if i can never return. You won't be Olo’eyktan if you leave.”

“ a tittle is worthless if you do not call me yours”

“And what about your family?”

“Father will understand if we ever return. Tsireya has your brother to take care of her. Ateyo has the whole clan to watch over him too. And mother…Mother will be alright too”

You stared at the sand. Ears flat down as all you could do was ponder your situation. For once happy someone was choosing you over all else.

“You’re crazy”

“We already knew that”

Resting your head on his shoulder as all he did was caress your back. It felt peaceful. To think only a few months ago you had become Metkayina. And now Ao’nung was throwing that all away. You could go home. Realistically you could live there. But Truth be told You didn’t know how Ao’nung could hold up to that life. Sky people were still a threat from what you had been told. And Yes you were Toruk Makto’s daughter. But he was no Olo’eyktan. Not anymore. Mo’at would take you in no doubt. Keep you safe with her and the people you had grown up with. But who’s to say they hadn’t relocated.

You just stood there. Waiting for anything to tell you this was a bad idea.

“ Do you really want to do this?”

“If you allowed me so”

You smiled. Watching as Ao’nung turned to Neteyam who had been there to see it all.

“Please. Do not tell anyone i am leaving”

“ I wont. I promise” Then he turned to you. “Will you be going back home?”

“I’ll see if they’re still there. And if they are and there is no danger of Sky people. I will stay there for as long as i am allowed”

“And if they aren’t there?”

“Don’t worry. Big sis has that already covered” You quickly went to hug him. Tightening your arms around him. “Thank you ‘teyam”

“Don’t worry. I owe you one you know?”

You could only laugh. Grabbing your stuff before hopping on your Ikran. Waiting for Ao’nung as he carefully sat behind you.

“Eywa will let you know if we are home. And if not that we are safe”

“Be carefully sister. Come back soon”

“I can only hope”

Truthfully you knew you probably couldn’t Ao’nung had given up so much just this very moment. And you were taking a risk allowing him to do so.

—-------------------------------------------

Home. It was nice to see the forest again. Something Familiar. But just as you had suspected. There was no one left. Everyone had moved as you predicted and realistically you didn’t blame them.

“Ao’nung?”

“Yes?”

“Would you be okay if we stayed close by to your home. There is nothing here anymore for me”

“If you so ever wish Y/n”

You knew the flight was tedious. So you set camp for the night. Thanking your mother for teaching you so much as you set a hammock for you and one for Ao’nung up high.

By morning you would make a tiresome flight. Luckily for you it was Closer to Awa’atlu. You had seen it on the flight here. The clearing in the forest where a giant lake stood. Perhaps Eywa pitied you two. But you could live there for the time being.

For you had a lot to think about. But Ao’nung was there to reassure you and your worries.

For once you enjoyed sleeping in the trees and see the sky again up high. You had hoped to see your grandmother. But as things have it. Nothing ever goes your way.

“Ao’nung?”

“Yes?”

“You know your mother will behead me once we come back right?”

“If we go back”

“Ao’nung..”

“I am serious. For you id start somewhere new. Im just sorry your home here is gone now”

You smiled at his words. Maybe some way you would see your grandmother again. You hoped at least. But for now you rest.

Going back is a death wish for you. You knew as much that’s true. But that would be okay.

You would bear it all.

So tonight. You went to sleep. Thinking of your family back at your new home. Did Ao’nung really not miss his family like you did? Either way you would have to settle it in the morning. You were glad you could take your bow and your spear with you.

—------------------------------------------

By Morning Ronal had noticed her son’s disappearance. Not pleased with it she went to the Sully’s Marui noticing your lack of presence. So She burst. Demanding to know where he son was, Where you were.

“Y/n? She left on her own accord Last night.” Jake stated. All of which your family agreed.

“Ao’nung is missing. Did she take Ao’nung with her?”

“Neteyam. You were the last person to bid goodbye” Neytiri stated matter of factly bring Neteyam up front to Ronal. Look her dead in the eye too.

“No. Y/n left on her own last night. She will back some time later she said tho we don't know when for sure” Neteyam said, lying through his teeth as he didnt waver under her gaze.

“Ao’nung probably left early for hunting” Tonowari spoke leading Ronal out of the Marui. Quickly exchanging a look with the Sully’s

Bowing his head and looking at Neteyam. “Do you know how long it will be for them to come back”

Neteyam sucked in his breath. He hadn’t known how to answer. Was he aware of what was happening.

Jake stood up and headed towards him. “Y/n said anywhere between months to a year from now”

“I see. I hope in that time Ma Ronal can see that your daughter is a fine warrior to be Tsahik” He bid them goodbye before heading out as well.

He knew. Though he didnt know exactly how Ao’nung left. He just knew. He had done Crazy things when he wanted to Court Ronal. He had done the most stupid and absurd things to win her heart until she was finally accepted as well.

He could only hope that in that time while you were away. That Eywa would bless all of you. For people do crazy things when they’re in love

—--------------------------------

“Well this is something” Ao’nung commented as you two had landed in that clearing you saw a few days ago. He was exhausted and more so hungry. So he was thankful that you had taken the lead to hunt.

“I’ll come and fix us a place up at the trees. Or would you like it in the middle of that lake?” You asked.

The lake was by no means the ocean. But it was big. And from the looks of it connected underground by a tunnel. You wondered if one day you could go and explore it. See what's there and see the rest of the beauty Eywa has blessed you.

“Since we aren’t mates and i do not wish to dishonor that until i have properly courted you. Ill make my place at the lake. And you in the trees.” Ao’nung Suggested.

You smiled nodding as you left for your hunt.

This wasn’t the forest you had grown around. It was different and more out. But you had managed to see creatures you knew and hunted. Alongside new ones you never had.

Being on land was Amazing.

However unknown to all of you, Reef people aren’t adapted to water outside the sea.

===========================

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