#?? is also a fantastic main character name imo :)

[coldercreation]

Random WIP, likely to remain a WIP

(--) “Boy! C’mere! Take this to the captain‘s (rooms?)??” the cook called, gruff and short, but not unkind.

?? skirted around the kitchen hands, ducking under pots, trying to avoid getting underfoot (??) (--)

“Me?” ?? asked, taking the covered tray that was being handed to him. “But-"

“The quartermaster called for you, son.”

“The quartermaster?” ?? repeated, frowning. “But... Why?”

“Still askin’ too many questions,” the cook grumbled. He piled another nice plate on top of the already heavy tray, eyeing ?? critically, probably to make sure he wouldn’t topple over with the food. “Do as ye’r told.” The cook stuffed a bite of warm bread in between ??s teeth. -- He?? grinned around the mouthful, eyes squinting pleased as the doughy, savoury taste exploded on his tongue. The cook scowled, waving him off. “Now, get!” 

-- ?

?? was slow going up the stairs, wrists straining and arms shaking. Even after all these months at sea he hadn’t been able to build the same sort of mass most of the crew seemed to put on so effortlessly. Still as puny?? and birdlike as ever, precisely what the courts and ballrooms had expected a fresh, malleable, noble youth like him to be.

Somehow ?? had managed to grow up to seem exactly what everyone around him had wanted him to be, whilst also being the absolute opposite of that.

A tarnished, wasted, angel, one of the ma’ams had called him --?? And she hadn’t even known the ‘worst’ of it; just an elderly lady scoffing at a young man’s carelessness, horrified that someone of his stature would be caught running about the gardens, barefoot and clothes damp with dirt.

“Sneaking a bite?” Crew?? asked, callused fingers reaching towards the tray. ?? shouldered past him, turning his back so the food would remain untouched. “Oi! Who’s that for?”

“The captain. And quartermaster. I think?”

“Why’s the cook not takin’ it ‘imself? Did y’steal that, y’rat? Hey!”

?? Ignored the questioning, knowing they just wanted a piece of whatever the tray held.

Not that they weren’t right to be suspicious. ?? definitely wasn’t the one who would normally interact with the captain’s quarters, nor the men who’d frequent it the most.

He knew to stay out of their way. The less they saw of him, the better. 

It was a miracle the first mate had even allowed him on board; too skinny, too polished, and too ignorant to be of any real help. 

Too naive, they had called him. Won’t last a week. Made of that posh sort of glass, not a cut to his soft hands. The sea, she’d eat him alive.

All true. Humiliatingly so.

But ?? had vowed to make it worth it for the first mate. Had given all the money he had stolen from his father and his older brothers. The steep earnings he had gotten from secretly selling one of the estate’s best stallions. 

The merchant sailors had looked at his offerings as if they were meagre pennies. Looked at him like he was just a wealth-ruined son of a lord(??) Too gullible and coddled, blind to the reality of life outside the riches he had grown up in.

And perhaps they had been right.

Perhaps someone less coddled would’ve been able to tell merchant sailors apart from the navy, and the navy apart from the... 

Well.

The pirates took his money, gladly, but at least they also took him, holding their end of the deal.

They said that, in time, he’d make a good decoy; sun bleached hair creating an aura of innocence, pale skin that burned pink in the summer heat showing he wasn’t used to the elements. He looked like a lord’s son, even in his ratty clothes. Posture pin straight, hands always politely placed, blue eyes 'pure like his bloodline'.

No one’d suspect him, they said. He looked useless, out of place, here. They’ll let their guards down for someone like him.

A decoy, they said. All ?? heard was that he was disposable.

Which he supposed he was. 

An inconvenience, more than anything. A spoiled brat who’s father and uncles were powerful enough to be wary of, who’s mother was wealthy enough to pay someone to find ??, if she’d feel inclined to do so.

Not that she would. 

Not after her maids had tattled to her about ??s games with the stable hand.

?? pushed the image of his chronically stern-faced mother out of his mind, instead focusing on the problem of knocking on the captain's door when both of his hands were occupied.

He used the worn point of his shoe, wobbling slightly balancing on one foot.

(--)“Why’s the runt here?” the captain asked tiredly, clearly having expected the head cook, as usual. The man barely glanced at ??, eyes flitting between the food placed in front of him and the books on his desk. “I thought you said we have someone who can help.”

The quartermaster rolled his eyes. “He can read and write.”

The captain paused, rings clinking against the gold trimmed plate he had been reaching for.

“That’s it?” the captain asked. His tone made ?? shift uneasily, eyes to the floor, hands behind his back. “We‘ve been sailing aimlessly for weeks... You think a lad who can read will solve our problems?”

“And write,” the quartermaster repeated, shrugging. He didn’t seem too concerned by the storm building in the captain’s gaze. “Better than nothing, surely.”

The captain closed his eyes, a deep, tortured cut pressing in between his brows. The man sighed, for a moment looking like he was praying, even though ?? knew that these men prayed to nothing but the devils living deep below the seas.

“Fine. Gods... Fine.” The captain grabbed a fork, lifting the cover from the tray to stab through a deliciously steaming potato. ?? himself had eaten barely nothing but gruel for months, their last docking just a distant memory. 

The quartermaster ushered ?? to the desk behind the captain’s more impressive decorative piece, leaving the darkly scowling man to his dinner. --

Although nothing like the main desk??, the smaller piece of furniture was still made of fine wood, its surfaces sanded smooth. It was bolted to the wall and the floorboards to keep it in place against the rocking of the ship. 

The quartermaster had a smug air to him as he piled some of the heavy books and scrolls in front of ??. He even pulled a fresh candle out just to light the space some more, the wax smooth, wick catching easily despite how damp everything on board usually was. (??)

“Anything you find about a gannet’s nest, you mark with a clear tag. Write it down, and tell one of us, or the first mate.” The quartermaster snatched a pot of ink from the captain’s shelf, pressing a silky white quill in ??s hand.

“A gannet?” ?? asked, pulling one of the scrolls closer to him, eyeing the messy cursive pensively. -- If only his old tutor ?? could see him now... “The seabird?”

“Aye, the seabird.” The quartermaster’s heavy hand landed on ?? nape, his fingers squeezing down briefly, pointedly. “Blue bill, golden cap, eats like the devil’s about to take our tomorrow. Write down anything that even hints to it, and not a word ‘bout it outside these rooms.”

The last bit, it wasn’t a question. Not even a request.

?? frowned in confusion, but he nodded all the same.

“Good lad. I’ll tell the ?? that I’ve taken you off his hands, for now. Do well and maybe we can consider keepin’ you off the – - ”? 

?? knew he wasn’t particularly smart. 

He wasn’t quick on his feet and he knew nothing of the street smarts most of the men under this sail had needed to find over the years. 

Maybe ?? wasn’t the cleverest son of a lord, but still, he refused to be thick enough to believe that the 'gannet’s nest' he was told to look for was referencing an actual gannet. 

Perhaps another ship?

Perhaps a cyphered coordinate? A sea current? A term for astrology and sailing maps?

The captain cleared his throat, dark wine spilling into his tall glass when ?? turned.

“Start with this,” the man said. Two of his smallest fingers flicked towards a thick book, the rest of them lazily wrapped around the stem of his drink.

The book was titled ‘Gannets’. 

?? tilted his head, confused, and silently questioning the sanity of these men. 

(--?)

Captain's orders, ?? read on.

The book was about... gannets. 

(--)

[anti-katsuki-lounge]

Writing Redemption in Your Fanfics

If you��ve followed either of my blogs, you’d know that I despise Katsuki’s “redemption story”. It’s poorly written and poorly paced.

Sadly, canon isn’t the only place where an attempt at a redemption story is botched. Fanfiction sometimes has equally worse takes on how his redemption story should go.

I wanna talk about one fic in particular. I’m not going to name it, but y’all can probably guess what fanfic I’m talking about because it’s a very famous one.

The fic has one of the most promising starts to a “Katsuki faces consequences” fic: Izuku decides to abandon Katsuki during the Final Exam, and after his teachers show disappointment in him, he snaps, tells them how they’ve failed him, and calls Katsuki a villain. Izuku mentions how he wants to leave U.A, Nezu asks for a second chance, and Izuku accepts.

Sadly, the ball’s immediately dropped upon reaching the second chapter. Katsuki received no consequences other than counseling (which again isn’t a consequence) and without any buildup they have him apologize to Izuku. Furthermore, they start shifting the blame away from Katsuki to his mother for “abusing him”. This I’m shaky about. On one hand, exploring why someone is the way they are can make for some great character writing. On the other hand, the way it’s done here is that it completely changes one character to make the other look better. I’m all for changing a character’s backstory but these fics try to be character studies and when you’re doing a character study you can’t suddenly change one character to make another look sympathetic. Finally, the fic villainizes any character who doesn’t immediately forgive Katsuki. The main example here is Ochako who refuses to let Katsuki anywhere near Izuku. This right here bothers me. Just because Katsuki’s reforming doesn’t mean anyone’s obligated to give him a chance, especially when they’re an abuser of Katsuki’s caliber. You can recognize someone is changing/has changed while also not forgiving them. Demonizing Ochako for not forgiving Katsuki and for protecting her friend sends a terrible message to readers. No one is obligated to forgive Katsuki.

Now I wanna turn my attention to a fic called Confession by Scandinavian Sensation over on Fanfiction.net. If there’s any fic that shows a good Katsuki redemption it’s this one. It starts off with some of 1-A witnessing Izuku having nightmares during a sleepover. Soon after, due to Izuku mumbling in his sleep, they learn Katsuki bullied Izuku. The consequences are swift with the entire class shunning him. Katsuki’s forced to go to counseling, but it’s not treated as a punishment. It is a requirement for him to stay in the Hero Course, but a requirement is different than a punishment. Izuku’s confused as to why no one’s hanging out with Katsuki and feels bad about it. He tries getting Ejiro to go back to being Katsuki’s friend, but Ejiro hits him with a fantastic question: “why did he do it?” As this is going on, Katsuki’s being forced to confront his ego, temper, and past actions while also asking himself the question “why did he do it?” The fic ends with a beautiful rewrite of Kacchan vs Deku 2, where Katsuki desperately tries grappling with the question, is consumed by guilt, and tries to apologize to Izuku. Unlike the first fic, this one doesn’t involve demonizing other characters to make Katsuki look sympathetic, especially since it treats 1-A shunning Katsuki as something they’re allowed to do. This fic dishes out great consequences for his behavior and treats therapy as a means of him coming to terms with his own actions. Finally, it deconstructs Katsuki’s and Izuku’s characters while offering comfort to Izuku and opening the way to a possible redemption arc for Katsuki that feels organic and earned. It’s a fic I can honestly say that both Katsuki fans and haters can enjoy and it’s imo the best case study of Katsuki out that that maintains a neutral tone. If you wanna read the fic, here it is:

In conclusion, if you’re going to write a Katsuki redemption arc, you have to have consequences, you can’t demonize other characters to make him look better (especially when they don’t wanna give him a second chance), and you can’t make excuses for Katsuki’s behavior.

[fairytale-poll]

ROUND 1B, MATCH 16 OUT OF 16!

*Though I am referring to her as Popelka, her original name in Czech, she is also often referred to as Aschenbrödel, her German name. Additionally, Three Wishes for Cinderella is the English title (with an alternate localized title being Three Gifts for Cinderella). The original Czech title, Tři oříšky pro Popelku, and the German title Drei Haselnüsse für Aschenbrödel both are translated as Three Hazelnuts for Cinderella. All names and titles have been tagged. Any local Czech or German speakers feel free to correct me for any mistakes! :)

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Danielle:

This is, imo, the single best retelling of Cinderella out there. She has a great character, her relationship with the prince grows organically rather than happening in a single night, and the scene with the bandits is top tier

The story is told as a historical romance instead of anything supernatural happening. Drew Barrymore is a cute Cinderella, Anjelica Houston is an incredible stepmother, and she's also really nasty to one of the stepsisters too, who ends up taking Danielle (Cinderella)'s side. Also Leonardo da Vinci is hanging around painting a portrait of Danielle at one point.

The Drew Barrymore Cinderella is fantastic. It’s got real history mixed with beautiful whimsy! I absolutely love the butterfly wings and how she spoke up for her step mother and sister at the end (and that they were still punished). I feel like I need to go watch it now.

she’s funny and smart and she’s resourceful (also her outfits are historically accurate!)

Popelka:

She has so much personality. She's funny, smart, kind, has a lot of spunk, and she really does things instead of just waiting for miracles to occur. Also, she's a great rider and has a deadly aim with bow and arrow.

She finds three hazelnuts that grant her wishes by giving the clothes to do what she wants. Beautiful dresses. The prince puts a ring on her finger while she’s in her huntsman’s outfit.

I don't know how it's faring in modern day Czechia, but here in Germany, Drei Haselnüsse für Aschenbrödel is still THE (non-Disney) Cinderella adaptation and a yearly rewatch for many, despite literally turning fifty this year. It's just so fairytale and also just... good? And she hangs out in the woods and shoots with a crossbow and saves deer and gives the prince riddles and then the music aaa the music!! I guess this isn't just a submission of this version of the character but this version of the story. For those who don't know: This adaptation is based on a Czech author's retelling of the Grimm version of the story, the film was a co-production of Czechoslovakia and East Germany and it slaps so hard it gets played at least 10 times (usually more) on public german television in and around December every single year. This is not an exaggeration, you can look it up, they even make a special, official info graphic with all the air dates every year that people can (and do!) share on social media. In Germany, the main event of Christmas is the 24th, Christmas eve, and on that day they play it at least 4 times (often more) at different times of the day on different public channels (ALL of which any German with a hooked up tv has access to) so anyone who wants to watch it gets a chance to. And Aschenbrödel herself in the movie STILL holds up as a (within reasonable expectations) feminist character, she's skilled, she's smart, she's witty, she and the prince actually talk and they like each other for their personalities, like... yes, there's a couple of flaws with the movie that time has pointed out, but mostly small, background things or things you simply cannot expect a movie from 1973 to get right. It's SO well made and just plain charming, it has truly stood the test of time and I would be devastated if it weren't included. It's also my mum's favourite movie (she's from East Germany and was born in 1969 so she's had regular access to it basically all her conscious life) so we would actually usually watch it multiple times each year and even record it (first on VHS, later again on DVD) so we could rewatch it any time and yet, I literally never got tired of it. It's just good & magical & I love it. Even my brother, who usually didn't care for fairytale movies at all and would much rather play video games in his room, would come down and sit with us to watch this one, THAT'S how good and magical this movie is.

And if all that hasn't convinced you yet but you speak German, here it is on YouTube, go watch it:

[Link]

(I won't provide a Czech link since I can't vouch for any of them as I don't speak czech)

Anyway, dear tournament runner: Have a pic of Aschenbrödel, in my favourite of her magically provided outfits, for the poll:

[Link]

She is the Cinderella of like eastern central Europe and the Story is a little different (she's no. 1 girlboss, beats the prince in a shooting contest and instead of a fairy she has 3 magic hazelnuts/ a magic owl)

[olderthannetfic]

Re: hanfu: speaking on robes, it's not just my perception I'm going off of. I threw it into a couple of search programs to make sure that my opinion wasn't biasing it too much, and really, all that comes up is bathrobes, perhaps western fantasy on occasion. Yes, the word covers many different types of clothing, but conventionally, at least in terms of a Western audience, I don't believe that hanfu (or anything in that realm) is one of them.

2. Wuxia/xianxia canons are frequently set in ahistorical fantasy ancient China, so precise historical accuracy is often either handwaved or vaguely alluded to, and ahistorical references or articles of dress are fairly common.

I also don't mean to call all ancient Japanese clothing kimono, obviously. I'm using it as an example of a common, non-western broad category of traditional clothing that often pops up in fiction that has had its name directly romanized from the source language, that also is really just a broader type of clothing with oft-ignored categories.

Could people be more specific about its use? Yes, of course. But I do think it's at least less Americanizing to at least try, as opposed to handwaving it with "she wore a long robe" or something of the ilk.

3. I am Chinese, yes. I wasn't aware that hanfu blogs were saying that, however. While I can understand that opinion, I honestly don't think it matters so much re: the specifics as long as it's being popularized and actually used in the first place. And of course, context matters. A diatribe on the details of dynastic clothing would hopefully aspire to more accuracy than some random MDZS fluff fic on ao3. Sure, there are other, more specific types of clothing, and I wouldn't object to someone deciding to specify by throwing in paofu or something. But in the end, at least using the "approximately" right category's better than nothing, imo.

Is it a little wrong (or a lot historically inaccurate) to be calling xianxia-fied costumes hanfu? Sure, in some cases. Are they not applicable at all?

Well, I mean, if you're referring specifically to the Untamed, I recall there actually being a fair amount of clothing (whether it be from main/side/extra characters) that do fall into the category of hanfu. Certainly, some have some fantasy modifications that wouldn't follow ancient etiquette, but it's not nearly that indistinguishable. There are a lot of characters wearing clothes that aren't even particularly fantastical; you could pop them into the set of ROTK 1994 as long as you changed up their hair and some other details.

Picking hairs at it reminds me of seeing a lot of non-Chinese people criticizing some girl's qipao, while a bunch of Chinese netizens were just happy to see a qipao at all.

--

Nonnie, what? 'Robe' is a standard term for discussing anything from a thawb to a gunlongpao in English.

If bathrobes turn up in search results more, it's probably because more of them are for sale.

[atopvisenyashill]

I agree a lot with the anon talking about Dany and Viserys' death. I've always seen it as Dany's equivalent to Littlefinger's show trial (as a relative and abuser brought to a painful and unexpected end by someone else on their behalf), and she was decidedly less involved in it than Sansa. A good foreshadowing example instead is her reaction when Drogo talks about invading Westeros.

Still, I've also always felt that there's an indication for Dany's ending in there as well, though not how D&D intended.

They spent several seasons playing with the idea of Dark Sansa, but Littlefinger's execution is the absolute darkest she ever got. That's where her darkness ends; meanwhile, Dany's story started with it, and she just kept/will keep going down from there. The standards for Dany's MOs were never the same as the other main characters' (save Tyrion), which shows well how villainous she was meant to become when put side by side to the heroic characters.

wait because i JUST saw a tweet (one of my rhaenicent friends quote-tweeted to make fun lol) where someone was like "oh when dany tries to reclaim her seat it's all 'she must pay for the crimes of her family' but when the starks do it it's fine" and my friend was like "okay now talk about the crimes dany herself has committed!!" so i was just thinking about this lol.

because yeah like, a lot of the problem here is that so far as we are into the series, the only comparable crime any stark has committed to dany specifically was bran warging hodor and i dare say we are going to dig into the evil of that in his next chapters, the same way george took like, an entire book to delve into the moral and ethical ramifications of trying to rule over a city you just sacked in adwd. a lot of arya's kills are pretty cut and dry self defense with the exception of daeron the singer (icr how he spells his name it might not be that valyrian spelling), and she almost immediately loses her eyesight for that one, so it's sort of like, well, arya and bran are clearly on their way to Face Some Consequences, but their moral failings are also on a much more interpersonal level here than anything going on in dany's story (because.....that's the point imo, that dany affects so much without really thinking through what she's affecting; she is not the only character being used to make this point tho, just imo one of hte more prominent).

and beyond that, show wise, like you said, the most evil sansa gets is *checks notes* murdering the two men who have been regularly abusing her for years in a way that you could say was kinda overkill. is it great when you come at it from a political standpoint? no, it's not like, fantastic. and even though it is. just the dumbest shit especially because there are once again no repercussions for it, i DO very much dislike that arya was the one that did the Red Wedding 2.0/Rat Cook thing that Lady Stoneheart/Manderly are actually in charge for (which like, listen I love Manderly so so much but obviously murdering a couple of dudes and baking them into pies to feed to their family is not like, um, great from a moral or political standpoint). so while you could definitely argue that show arya is morally bankrupt on a similar level as dany - and you can do the same for jon snow too, because that absolute idiot just hands over the north to a lady he knows is a little fire and blood happy for what reason exactly?? - you can't argue sansa is, like point blank, or bran.

and ultimately, like, idc about the show lol when i'm discussing their actions i'm talking about the books and imo while everyone's story plays with morality and ethics and politics etc etc there are some characters who are pretty clearly sliding down morality wise early on - as you say, tyrion's mo is pretty regularly threatening to rape people, and then dany spends the last few chapters of her first book trying to rationalize war time slavery and rape, and then murders her slave to hatch some dragons. jaime throws a literal child out a window. cersei helps murder a bunch of other kids, gives innocent women over to be tortured to death, and doesn't even attempt to curb the abuses of sansa. and then you have sansa, who may or may not be knowingly poisoning sweetrobin - it's unclear but seems likely she just doesn't understand how dangerous the substances she's feeding sweetrobin are - and arya who commits a few murders in self defense, then kills one or two dudes in cold blood and faces immediate consequences. bran who is in the middle of an unresolved story arc where he's mind raping someone. arianne and asha both attempt to gain power and while there are some victims they're both taking pains to limit the amount of victims, and carry a lot of guilt for the damage they've done and are trying to atone for it, in their own ways. it's like...........idk feels like a slightly marked difference between some of these characters here. it's why i can't discount a bad ending for bran - obviously i want a happier ending for him, and i think it's foreshadowed to be likely but i'm not stupid, mind raping hodor is probably one of the worst things someone has done, morally, in this series on page, and I do think he's going to grapple with this substantially, in the same way that Dany will one day have to face the truth that she murdered MMD and Drogon harmed the little girl hazzea, and those deaths - and the deaths in Astapor, Meereen, and Yunkai - are something she needs to take into account as her war effort chugs along.

[elitadream]

Hi there elitadream!

First of all, I just wanna say, that your Mario content is fantastic, and I love all of it. You characterize them all so well and I’m just- I’m in love, is the only way I can adequately express my adoration. The art is beautiful, the writing is magnificent, and everything is all around amazing.

Second, I wanna mention, that funnily enough, because I’m in the Transformers fandom as my main, there’s a character in TFs known as Elita-One, so when I first started following you, I read the first part of your name when it pops up in my notifications, and I was immediately brought an image of her, and then I read the rest and I’m reminded ‘oh right she’s the Mario artist!’ Anyway, I just thought that was kinda funny.

Regardless, your Mario stuff is fantastic, please keep up the great work, and I hope you have a great day! ^^

Also curious: do you think that if Bowser saw/heard that what Mario had done for Jr, like keeping him safe, and having inadvertently assured him to come home safe to him, Bowser would change his thoughts of Mario even the slightest, or spare him just that once, because of his actions? Kind of like Mulan, “a life for a life”. Or would he be like “no still bad >:( stay away from my son >:((( ”

Thank you so much, that honestly made my day! 🙏💗 Also I can see how it could be perceived that way, haha! 😄 Very interesting mention!

You bring up a great point regarding Bowser, and I honestly think that both avenues could potentially work depending on how the scene occurs. I've discussed a few times before how genuinely attentive and affectionate my Bowser is with Junior despite how absolutely vile and devious he is towards everyone else, and what I like about that special exception is that it creates its very own dilemma within a pre-existing conflict. As much as Bowser hates Mario and wants him to suffer, he also loves his son and cares about his feelings. Regardless of what the outcome would be, emotional duality is a fantastic narrative element that suits Bowser quite well imo, and there's a lot that can be done with it. All I can say is I hope I'll find the time and motivation to draw the concept I have in mind one day. 🙇‍♀️

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Road to El Dorado

So to begin with, let me just say I fucking miss Dreamworks 2d animation. Like the way they animated and designed characters in 2d was just... wonderful and I long for them to return to it almost more than I long for Disney to go back to 2d animation. As for Road to El Dorado, its a major case for why they should. This movie is a fun, fantastic romp that is utterly enjoyable all the way through.

Staying on animation for a sec, the colors in this movie are insanely vibrant and the set designs, especially in El Dorado itself, are outstandingly gorgeous. The character designs are top notch (bless Chel oh my god fuck whoever designed her was so horny and I'm so thankful for them) and the animation is as smooth as butter. The facial expressions, much like in Prince of Egypt are so damn well done and convey exactly how the characters are feeling so perfectly.

As for the characters, the cast is great! Miguel and Tulio are a perfect dynamic duo of scheming conmen, though the difference between them are clear. Tulio is more along the lines of being selfish and greedy (and horny, incredibly horny, this whole movie is horny), but he's still so damn likable anyway. Miguel is the idealistic optimist who just wants adventure and excitement. And the way they play off each other is so fast and smooth and expertly written and acted, their bromance truly is one to behold.

Of course, that bromance is broken a bit when Chel comes into the picture. God DAMN this woman is just... (*whistles*) 2D Dreamworks women were just Built Different holy god she is beautiful. And hilarious imo she's a good source of comedy (and conflict) throughout.

The other characters are... ok. I like the chief, but the priest is just an... ok bloodthirsty unhinged villain, but nothing really special. Cortes is a nothing character, barely an antagonist force whatsoever, and outside of them... well there's not much focus anywhere else. Which is a good thing! The movie's plot is tightly focused, simple to understand and follow, and the characters motivations and development is very clear throughout.

As for said plot, I suppose there are a few problematic things about Two White Men showing up and claiming to be gods in a Native ancient civilization, but it never feels like they're exploiting the people of El Dorado for anything more than gold? Like they even stop the priest's attempts to sacrifice people in their name, so I guess that counts for something??? Really though, the main focus of the film is that dynamic between Miguel and Tulio and how two things come between them (for Miguel, its falling in love with the people and culture of El Dorado and for Tulio, its falling in love with, well, Chel). In the end though, they do come back together in a natural and believable way in the midst of a genuinely exciting climax.

The humor is also very sharp in this movie, leaning more on the adult side (like I said, this whole movie is so horny) but never in the gross or annoying way that Antz did before it. It relies more on physical comedy and witty banter, and both of them are carried strongly through the voice acting and the animation. It's no wonder why this movie produced so many famous memes imo

The music is Fantastic. It takes the Tarzan approach where most of the songs are non-diagetic (and mostly performed by Elton John), with the standout exception of Its Tough to be a God which just... completely fucking slaps. Seriously I was boppin along to it the entire time, it goes so hard ya'll.

Overall, Road to El Dorado is a simple movie with a simple plot and premise, but its carried by a really memorable main trio and a great soundtrack and top shelf animation. Give it a watch if ya haven't, its def worth it.

Overall Rating: 8/10

Verdict: Getting caught doing the Nitty Gritty with Chel

Previous Review (Prince of Egypt)

Next Review (Chicken Run)

[demonic0angel]

The CN novels that inspired Ghost Games

All of these story recommendations have mlm or gay romances!! I wish I could offer other kinds of romance/horror CN novels but none of them inspire me much. Click on the names for the links!

Don't Pick Up Boyfriends From the Trash Bin: (recommended) A man dies and a system gets attached to him, before he goes into multiple worlds and saves the people he transmigrates into

(A brilliant webnovel that I absolutely adore because it manages to circumvent every bad stereotype of QT novels but the translations are slow. Ghost Games is specifically inspired by its 5th arc) [UNCOMPLETED]

Supernatural Movie Actor App: (recommended) A man finds an app where he has to "act" in horror movies to earn points for his wish to make his lover a body

(An amazing webnovel that is filled with fun, action, and suspense; the main characters are brilliant and I loved how each arc keeps you excited) [COMPLETED]

Card Room: A policeman and a forensic scientist accidentally fall into a game where they have to go through different trials in order to survive

(A fun and mysterious novel, tho it's very long (around 500 chapters) and I stopped halfway through) [COMPLETED]

Edit: I finished it! I recommend it only if you have the time to read it through, and although the ending suffered bc the author got lazy, it was actually a fun and interesting read! The cards/trials were all super interesting, so I had fun! (Recommended)

Kaleidoscope of Death: (recommended) A man accidentally enters the 12 doors, which is a supernatural event that can either save him or kill him

(Everyone and their mother is in the reviews section with EXACTLY identical reviews: "this novel is great but the plot twist is trash. Five stars" 💀. I agree with them. A fantastic and HELLA scary novel but as long as you avoid the extras (which holds the plot twist), the novel is amazing. After reading it, I was afraid to open cabinets for a while and no longer feared death 😔 it is so bloody) [COMPLETED]

High Energy QR Code: (recommended) A man tries to investigate his brother's death, and in doing so, falls into a game world

(I really enjoyed this fic bc it's similar to Supernatural Movie Actor App where the MC is naturally intelligent without seeming obnoxious, and the stories and arcs are all well thought out, creative, and fun. There's also somewhat found family, which I love. It was so much better than what I was expecting, but then again, the author has always made amazing stories (They’ve literally created the most highly rated novel on NovelUpdates and that novel inspired me as a person fr fr no cap. Highly recommend!!! It will change your life!!)) [UNCOMPLETED]

A Crowd of Evil Spirits Line Up to Confess to Me: A man who can see ghosts gets pulled into a ghost game, but there's always a ghost in it that seems to fall in love with him

(A fun novel with a protagonist that is kind but doesn't feel like Virgin Mary, but the translations are slow and I stopped reading bc of it) [UNCOMPLETED]

Non-Human Seeing Re-Employment: An ancient ghost finally gets his own human body before he gets sucked into a horror game

(A nonsensical and crackish webnovel with overpowered MC and ML; read it for fun, not for plot) [COMPLETED]

After the Little Crybaby Enters the Nightmare Cycle: A ghost gains a new body and then gets himself transported into a horror game to earn wishes

(Actually, I dropped this story really early on bc it was like… a less interesting and more boring version of Supernatural Movie Actor App 😶 like it had nearly all the same ideas but it was executed quite plainly and when I caught myself complaining about it, I realized I didn’t have to suffer through it so I dropped it. It’s not bad, just ordinary imo. One of its arcs DID inspire me tho so… you can make your own opinions about it) [COMPLETED]

[lotuspingaus]

modern Tigresses (ft. Mei Mei bc why not) ~~~~ Did I draw Tigress vastly differently in every drawing? Yes unfortunately. Is the drawing with her and Mei Mei my favourite out of the 3? Also yes (tho drawing number 2 is a close second) If you want context for the following drawings please keep reading :P ~~~~

Drawing 1: I saw this really neat button up shirt from Instagram and I instantly vibed with it and thought Tigress would totally rock it. AND I WAS FLIPPING RIGHT- SHE LOOKS SO ATTRACTIVE- I messed up with the face tho I’m sorry Ti 😭

Drawing 2: is based on a motorcycle au my bf made up with Tigress as, you guessed it, the main character! I just loved this au so much and I had to do it justice! During his description of how she would look (which I did my best to visualize) he mentioned her having longer hair that’s braided and I will admit I was pretty hesitant about it but I’m honestly vibing with it! She actually looks really cool imo! 😳

Drawing 3: I had no excuse I just wanted to draw modern Mei Mei and Tigress being baddie besties- AND THEY TOTALLY ARE OKAY- THEY LOOK FANTASTIC- yes I headcanon that they are best friends, so what? I love them- Also props to my habibi for the headcanon social names for Viper and Tigress- we literally went from talking all lovey dovey all day to making dumb modern kfp headcanons together- I love him sm fr

[mulderscully]

I need help processing my dislike of River. At first I thought it was because I loved Rose/Ten so much that I couldn’t accept any other relationship, but then Clara showed up and I instantly loved her and the Doctor.

I don’t understand why I find River/the whole thing so off putting?

man, i really don't want to shit on doctor/river bc i have a lot of mutuals who ship them but i will explain why i don't like their relationship in a respectful way.

so personally, for me, it was never about ten and rose because i always loved tentoo and rose, and felt like they got the best ending possible. i felt (and still do) that the version of the doctor who loved rose so much died when ten regenerated. so, i was actually pretty excited to see their relationship and watch the doctor fall in love again.

then, i just did not like them.

i have various reasons for this:

1. i don't feel like matt and alex had very good chemistry. which makes sense, they didn't do chemistry reads. i think they are both fantastic actors, but there was no spark between them for me which i think is in part because how eleven is written as completely differently from how he is described by her when she meets ten for the first time.

2. i really cannot get invested in their relationship when i feel like the doctor is not invested in it either. i just... don't feel like he loves her. and i don't really blame him because he doesn't actually know her, or he doesn't known that he does know her. or who she really is at any given point. we don't see them fall in love so how can we believe it? we're just TOLD instead of shown, which is my #1 turn off when it comes to ships. they may be married, but he is not devoted to her. and he TRIES. like he asks her to travel with him, but of course she can't so how can their relationship ever be organic? it can't.

3. the overall premise is weird. i feel like he was essentially manipulated into marrying her. he meets her, he knows they're married so now he is trapped into this fate. it doesn't matter if he loves her, it doesn't matter who she is: she knows his "real" name so that means she's his wife. river loves him as almost this god like figure, when the whole point is that the doctor is just Some Guy. and bc of this he has power over her. that, to me, is icky. it's also icky that he married rory and amy's daughter, who he knew as an infant but moffat does this with every love interest the doctor has. has him meet them as kids, and i hate it every time. i hated it with rose and clara too, but with melody/river it's weirder bc it's not a passing thing: he KNOWS them. like why 🤢

i have other issues but those are my main ones.

it sucks because i actually like river as an individual character when she gets to shine on her own. i think alex kingston put her everything into it and i think she deserved a better and more empowering storyline.

i am also a doctor/clara shipper, and while i do feel that there are some issues in how their relationship was written when i met clara i felt this huge sigh of relief because i felt like THIS is the doctor actually falling in love again. this is in part because jenna had great chemistry with both matt and peter, but also because while their relationship becomes toxic and dangerous to them and everyone else because of their love and devotion to each other, that is explicitly addressed and handled appropriately imo.

anyway. that's my pov. i'm excited to see what lays ahead for the doctor now that rtd has the freedom to make him explicitly mlm tbh!

[3rddimension]

Regarding C's creative side being held back at Smosh right now, I don't think it's that unpopular. It's barely being talked about, to be honest, but I agree with the anon. Watching C throught years, I believe she felt the strongest in content that is lately either being axed or very limited: meaning pre-recorded sketches, live aspect of Smosh (Summer games, vlogs, Show with no name) and Pit stuff like charades or challenges.

Sketches were dead for more than a year and though now they're back, it seem even once I&A start adding cast, they won't be anything more than gloryfied extras to their lead. Summer games and vlogs are also out of the picture, so all we have left is Pit content, that is both bloated and uses rotation of entire cast of 10-12 people.

Smosh is leaning more and more into improv character build (Funerals, Board AF legacy, Sword AF and late Main content) which isn't something C seem to enjoy all that much. It's problematic because imo it pushes her behind the camera more and although C seem to like off-camera work, we all know how it endeded up for Kimmy and her fans are still bummed about it.

Lastly, for our shipping sake, it gives less and less content and most we have is actually from their (mostly her) socials than anything else. For a main cast member C was in literally 2 videos over last 16 days (mandatory EOYI and recent Chameleon). It's unusual and I hope it stays unusual but who really knows, what is the direction of Smosh these days.

C has fantastic vlogs on her own channel, so finger crosses she does visit it more but they are very heavy on editing and that may be the time she does not have currently. We will see.

That's good points that you mentioned but tbh I support whatever they decided to do.

I think for Kimmy situation it's because the full time position just got open after Patrick and Jeremy left and Erin got promoted to main AP so she decided to applied for it. That's why she changed from part time cast to full time crew.

[taptrial2]

can i have your complete opinion on milo murphy’s law. what aspects of it are bad. is it overall good? i always thought about watching it but i never committed

dude i fucking love milo murphy's law but some parts of it are so dogshit. if nothing else, PLEASE watch the first episode, it is fucking genius and one of the best in the entire run imo. it's all perfectly paced and the introduction to milo and his Problems is so perfectly executed it's SO good.

also i haven't really watched mml for. uh. for since high school so pre-2020? so i'm rusty on my mml opinions lol

but yeah milo is a fantastic character and an amazing but UNINTENTIONAL allegory for living with a disability. the main downside of him is the same downside that phineas has - he's too perfect, and it renders him a little uninteresting. he's still overall great, and the lore of his condition has a LOT of meat on its bones, you could really dig into the lore there, it's nuts

his friends are pretty boring. melissa is a stock wendy corduroy-style coolgirl and zach is a scaredy cat and theres not much more to them. they feel like obligatory diversity token characters than anything substantial. also there's a love interest named amanda and she's fine i guess. melissa is a really great companion to milo and his shenanigans and the way they met is SOOOOO cute and done really well in the episode itself, and there's a lot of potential around how her dad feels about milo (her dad doesnt like him lol), but they don't do much with it

the dan and swampy characters are dakota and cavendish respectively. they're time travellers from the future who were sent back in time to prevent pistachios from going extinct. if that sounds like a complete nonsequitur it's because it is. the show turns into time travel shenanigans because of them and it gets tedious, but dakota in particular is THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE WHOLE SHOW with the most depth and impact, and idk if you know about That One Dakota Episode but just in case you don't i won't spoil it

there is some VERY HEAVY gay undertones with their dynamic and it is SO frustrating to watch because the romantic tension never pays off

okay there's a huge problem with this show that only became apparent in season 2 and it's that there is a serious lack of payoff for the setup. there is so much FUCKING AMAZING setup in this show. there are so many plot threads that are compelling and emotionally impactful and often just really beautiful, especially with cav and dakota. milo's condition and how he lives is fascinating. there are so many AMAZING episodes of this show that it blows my tits clean off, it's truly remarkable... but the other half is kind of garbage, especially after doofenshmirtz eats up all the screentime after he forcefully shoulders his way into the show for some goddamn reason, and the (spoilers) dakota and cavendish breakup arc is REALLY tedious

but man. okay, i've done enough complaining, i really do fucking love this show. there are so many elements of it that are just incredible, fascinating, or so well executed that my brain explodes. milo is amazing, dakota is amazing, and the lore is INSANE and super fun, but it gets bogged down in its own overcomplicated serialized plot and dwampy's preoccupation with aliens also ends up fucking with the structure a lot

imo it's worth a watch overall for the absolute gems it has, but for the love of god skip lady krillers. 100% watch the first 11-minute episode, it's amazing. if you find yourself hooked with that first episode, go ahead and watch the rest, it'll probably work for you! if you're not hooked by the energy of the first episode then maybe don't bother

[the-derpy-duck]

I adore ROTB

Sort of spoilers. I do my best not to.

I haven’t had much time to reflect on it but ahhhhhh it was so goood! This was the first time I’ve seen a transformers film in theaters and I was losing my mind but trying to be quiet.

But I just LOVE the way the maximals (idk if that’s how you spell it- I have a strictly casual relationship with the English language) move. Like Airrazor talking looked amazing to me and I loved how Primal’s nose would move sometimes. Cheetor’s run cycle! I eat that shit upppppp!! Cheetor in general was really well designed to me. I hope I can get a good toy of him (I already picked up the SS Airrazor). Cheetahs are my favorite animals even if they constantly shoot themselves in the foot, evolutionary wise. The maximals look very good IMO and I’m happy they finally got decent 3D renders. I love how big they all are as well. Like these things could destroy just about anything on earth. I also like the voices for the Maximals.

The humans were also really good. I love Noah’s relationship with his little brother and the conflict with him felt realistic and very grounded in the alien car movie. His friendship with Mirage did feel a little rushed but honestly that worked with the way he was characterized I think. Like Mirage seemed so desperate for a non auto bot friendship and he seemed to have a general affinity for humans not dissimilar to Bumblebee’s.

Also the part where Bee put on his battle mask caused me and the person who was sitting next to me to lose out collective minds. I don’t care if it’s cheesy, pull that stick out of your ass and enjoy the action! Enjoy the drama!

Also I love Mirage’s face. I wish he looked less like Jazz in his alt mode but honestly his bot mode is so cool so I don’t care that much. I also like OP’s face. It’s sort of modeled after Peter Collin’s face so it’s marvelous. I think they should have changed Wheeljacks name to Perceptor, especially sense BB movie design for Wheeljack was just so perfect but also Pablo is my son and he’s so fantastic and I love him and I’m not gonna be person 1,983 hating on this design.

Scourge was alright. I didn’t see the face reveal as too much of an issue or even note it that much in my mind. I think the fact that he collects insignia’s is really cool in a fucked up sort of way. Like it isn’t enough to just kill someone and destroy there home he also needs to disgrace their bodies. It’s also a weird way of keeping track of his victories. I thought it was kind of neat. He’s not that deep and it’s a little bit underwhelming when I think about it. Like I wish the movie had more time to do things. Because to me it didn’t feel that long, I think some extra time would have done it good.

There is a character who died who I think, realistically, should have been able to be revived and I wish that they were. Also a character gets killed and I think the maximals should have been the ones to kill them. I wish the maximals got more screen time. The movie was fairly fast paced. The movie is only 2 hours and 7 minutes long. Which is still 2 hours but I think having it go a little longer would have helped a lot of characters.

The reveal at the end almost made me scream like holy shit. I was expecting something but not THAT. I really hope we can see more decepticons next movie. Like Skywarp as a main antagonist would be so cool. Think of the fight  scenes. Think of the teleportation. Think of another purple movie robot. Please. Pleassseeee.

I though that the CGI was fine. Nothing looked off to me in a way that would pull me out of the movie. The Flash looked a lot worse and I think that movie had a higher budget. 

Optimus wanting to get home and his conflict is compelling to me. Like he doesn’t have a reason to like or trust humans. He’s been stranded on this shithole of a planet with no contact with his army or friends or home for seven years I understand why he hates it. He also has another reason to really get the hell out but spoilers. But also he comes to a general understanding with the humans and learns that they are sort of worth working with. He just wants to get home and help his friend get better and save his own world and brutally murder his enemy. He’s still very brutal but it feels different to Bayverse. That’s probably because I don’t like Michael Bay or his transformers films but you chose to read to this point so you get to deal with my weird biases.

*minor spoilers sort of*

The part where Unicron tells OP not to destroy the key and that he give him anything and OP says “then die” got me way too hyped up. Like wow. Murder dad robot is SO cool!

I love Arcee fighting with Wheeljack and standing on Rhinox, idk if it was a call back and or reference to that one beats wars  scene but I love it either way

[optimistpax]

ooh I'm thinking of reading tf 2019 but idk if it's for me, could you share more of what you enjoyed about it? I'm curious!

Absolutely!! I'm always down to talk about comics!

Gonna throw my thoughts under the cut bc oops this got really long really fast... i have a lot of thoughts

TLDR: I like it bc it's easy to get into organization/access wise, it's soooo pretty to look at, has genres I personally enjoy and find fun, has a lot of characters I vibe with, and its themes are empathetic and hopeful which is nice to read about when life is tough

Organization

So the first thing that I think rocks about the 2019 comics is that they are actually organized in volumes that make sense from the get go. All the main story AND side stories are compiled in chronological order. This may not seem like anything significant, but I have major beef with serialized American comics about this so imo this is great skldjfg. Also!!! 5/6 of these volumes are on overdrive! So if they aren't already on your libraries library app (libby or hoopla), then the library can absolutely get you them if you ask! I'm certain that the 6th volume will be up there soon, it did come out relatively recently tho so it might be a month or two. It's also only 4 years/6 volumes long so it's not an overwhelming amount of content to read, which is nice :)

Art

Another thing I really love about the 2019 comics is the art!! They've got a couple artists that are series regulars, but 9 times out of 10 they knock it out of the park! Usually I'm bothered by a series jumping around different artists, but the regulars have similar enough art styles that with the colourists help, it's not that noticeable when they do switch around, which is really nice! I also Looooove the use of colour dots (i dont think they're screentones in this case? since they're quite big and used as a texture thing? idk im not a professional comic artist.) You can see some in my header! It's a double page spread from the first volume!! gorgeous stuff :)

Genre/Story

As for the story itself, I think it'll really depend what kind of genres you like reading. It starts on Cybertron before the war, which is fun to see since we get to learn a little about their culture, history, and geology. The genre starts off as a murder mystery and evolves into a political drama before finally dissolving into something more action-y. So it's not for everyone, but I personally had a fantastic time!

Characters

The 2019 comics have a MASSIVE cast of characters. There are so many characters that there's bound to be at least a FEW that you really enjoy! Lots of more obscure characters from the depths of tf lore that haven't really been developed in mainstream media (afaik) get some time to shine (Flamewar, Roadrage, Jumpstream, Javelin, Lightbright, and Subsea to name a few) and also introduces some new characters (Termagax, Codexa, Geomotus, Exarchon, Cryak, Rubble, Gauge, Lodestar) which imo were really fun to see! There's also a surprisingly large (relatively fleshed out) female cast which is refreshing to see in a franchise that originated as Reagan-era toy ads lmao.

I say relatively fleshed out bc the massive cast of characters is one of the series biggest strengths, but it's definitely also one of its biggest weaknesses. Since there are so many characters sharing limited panel time it's difficult for the series to explore them in depth bc there are just SO MANY. They're also using the toy designs where they exist (see: lots of same designs with different colours), so characters are sometimes difficult to tell apart. Esp if they don't show up often and you're not already overly familiar with transformers. Altho my comic book club of non-transformers fans managed to get through the first volume alright (or at least they said they did) so it can't be that unintelligible...

Themes

I really liked the themes in this series! Again, that's a personal preference that'll vary from person to person, but I had fun with this one. I'm not sure if it's the right word, but I think the narrative felt very empathetic(?). Characters were very rooted in their ties to other characters, their relationship with other characters. Something something we're better with the connection to and with the support of others. Some of my favourites character arcs in support of the theme of empathy in no particular order off the top of my head:

Cyclonus and his grief

Arcee and the lasting impact that the PREVIOUS war had on her and her relationships (esp with Greenlight and Gauge)

Gauge getting to CHOOSE her family not because she has to but because she wants to

Sad videogame dad Bumblebee

Geomotus and how he's autistic and taken seriously and respected and also his friendship with Landmine

Optimus being chosen for the matrix because he has the quality of HOPE

Javelin's PTSD

Shadowstriker trying and failing to keep Flamewar from being a gremlin and getting in trouble

Megatron being the pettiest man alive

Starscream's love for Cybertron?? ???

Wheeljack being SO supportive of his mentee Gears

I would apologize for the essay but you DID ask ahaha! Anyways, I definitely think the 2019 comics are at least worth looking into if you're a transformers fan and are looking for some comics to read. I had a blast reading them :)

[jurassicpark1990]

📙📚🧡🖤🤍💛 for the books ask!

thank you so much gaelen 🥺💗🥺💗 i'm putting them all under a read more because i rambled so much

📙What’s your favorite genre to read, and do you have any recommendations within that genre?

always been a big fantasy person and there are soo many i could recommend depending on who it's for. my go to rec is the green bone saga by fonda lee because it's the best version of urban fantasy and imo accessible for non-fantasy fans. however, for hardcore fantasy people i'd recommend robin hobb - her stories are Slow but some of the best character work i have ever read

📚Do you have a go-to reading spot or do you read everywhere?

bed <3 either mine or my boyf's depending on where i am. unless i'm on the train, i hate sitting up to read

🧡Is there a particular book cover that you find absolutely stunning? Share a picture or describe it!

i did talk about some i loved but i'll also give a shout out to these editions of raybearer and redemptor (some truly fantastic ya fantasy if that's your thing too)

🖤 Are there any book series that you’ve been meaning to start but haven’t gotten around to yet? Which ones are they?

oh gosh soooo many. i really want to read more robin hobb and that's my main priority because i know i'll love them. other series i'm interested in include dandelion dynasty, joe abercrombie books, the poppy war trilogy, the city of brass trilogy, foundryside, a memory called empire, the baru commarant(?) books and the list goes on...

🤍Do you have any reading goals for this year? How are you progressing so far?

i'm hoping to read 35 books for the year and i'm on track at the moment because i've been reading manga (i'm at 32 books which is surprising!) my other major goal is to prioritise the books i own instead of buying new ones constantly (i found a loop hole tho and have still been buying books and reading them first lol)

💛How do you organize your bookshelves? By genre, author, color, or in a completely unique way?

i have a couple of systems. my main bookshelf is in alphabetical order by author's last name and it includes all my all time fav books. then the rest of my shelves are by genre - this is because these are cube shelves so each cube contains one genre (within genre they are also by author's last name)!

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Review Blurbs: Barbie (2023)

~General Thoughts~

-I thought this movie would be like... PG. And then it got really emotional when Barbie was looking through Gloria's memories of the days when her and her daughter were at their happiest before Sasha grew up. And then Barbie got called a fascist. So

-Margot Robbie is an insanely talented actor. I'm gonna be honest, I'm not sure how well the movie would've done for me if I wasn't invested in the main character but Margot completely ate the role and made the story of Stereotypical Barbie very endearing to watch

-The pacing was surprisingly good for me, I'm usually really picky about pacing but they were able to balance out transitioning from the silly stuff to serious and back again pretty well, Greta Gerwig you have my applause

-Its an interesting detail that the Real World is still intentionally somewhat unrealistic and caricature-ish similar to the Barbie world is; not sure if that's just Greta's style or if there was a reason for it, made the movie a little jarring imo but I'd love to know why she did it and what effect she was going for

-The fact that Barbie wasn't interested in Ken and rejected him and it was treated as a good thing is just *chef's kiss*

-The Kens fight scene being a colorful musical number with eccentric choreography was so fun to watch I want more

-I don't care what you've been through, nothing could've prepared anyone for that gynecology line. Its such a genius way to remind you that Barbie now has to deal with the biological changes of becoming human. 10/10

-Allan beating up the construction worker Kens was the best moment 10/10

-Speaking of Allan, I loved how Allan was a metaphor for someone who doesn't fit into the gender binary. He was the only non Barbie/Ken, had his own unique name and was always uncomfortable/disappointed with the world around him no matter who was in charge, which was a great way to subtly insert this kind of character. He happily sided with the Barbies to help take down the Kens, embracing all the pink and cheering alongside them when they won, while also looking very sad during the part where the Kens were realizing they failed. Just all of it screamed gender-non conforming to me. I've seen some interpretations saying Allan is a representation of a gay man (being more of a "Ken" presentation wise but finding more of a space among women and being deeply uncomfortable with patriarchy perpetuated by straight men) and some saying he's nonbinary (wanting to leave Barbieland behind and never being satisfied no matter who was in charge); either way, what they did with Allan was very cool and I'm glad some queerness, even if subtle and less prominent, was included in the movie)

-Similarly, Weird Barbie isn't getting nearly enough love. She was one of the most fun characters for me (Kate McKinnon magic, duh) and she like Allan could definitely represent someone out of the cishetero-normative/gender binary (I've seen people saying she's very queer-coded and it honestly makes sense, she tends to dress and act in more un-feminine ways which I think says butch lesbian but its up to interpretation) I am also very gay for her give her more attention cause she deserves it, seriously

-John Cena mermaid

-Simu Liu Ken constantly antagonizing Ryan Gosling Ken over Barbie's attention and being the better Ken within Barbieland is a metaphor for how patriarchy will put women against each other for the attention of men and make women fight each other too much to realize who the real enemy is

-Margot Robbie being acknowledged as "not the best to make this point about ugliness" was fantastic lmao, love the meta-narration

-The way Ken's story arc and the commentary around patriarchy with the incel-pipeline was very strong, and I respect Greta for critiquing it the way she did (I made a full post here )

-Ken and Ken should've kissed. Any of them. All of them.

-Barbie deciding to be human in the end despite her whole journey being about wanting to be a perfect Barbie doll again and her being terrified of flat feet and cellulite but then telling that old woman how beautiful she was and watching humans be normal and mimicking their expressions because even though its scary she wants to feel the way humans do because she sees the beauty in it and its a love letter to women and to people and the complexity of our messy species omfg I'm gonna cry other people said it better than me so go look at their stuff

-Barbie helping out Ken despite everything he'd done because she didn't want things to go back to how they were when Barbies ruled the world, she wanted something different, better, and she helped the person she had every right to want to hurt because we're supposed to be better than those who hurt us

~Criticisms~

-As an add-on to the caricature blurb, I felt a bit weird watching cause Greta's style recreated facets of misogyny as a caricature, so things like patriarchal brainwashing, sexual assault and other very harmful misogynist rhetoric were told in a slapstick way. I was uncomfortable throughout a lot of it, and I'm still deciding if I consider it a genuine criticism to have such matters told in this way or if its just personal preference; would like to know other thoughts if you're willing to share. Regardless, just be aware of it if that stuff's triggering to you so you're prepared for it

-Loved the emphasis on uplifting femininity in Barbie, and I understand the metaphor behind the change, but I can't help feel they pulled a Breakfast Club with Sasha going from her all black attire to suddenly very feminine and with makeup. Being gender non-conforming isn't just for queer people, lots of women are like this and it feels like media makes it seem like this kind of woman is impossible. Not all women wear makeup, not all women are feminine, and I would love for a more masculine/GNC woman character to be able to actually be that. I'll forgive it a bit since Barbies' styles kinda revolve around makeup, and Weird Barbie was consistently butch, just wish characters that are brought up with the prospect of gender-nonconformity could actually stay that way

~Final Thoughts~

Surprisingly good! Don't get me wrong, movies with this style can be good for sure but with the recent surge of mediocre movies I didn't have too much faith. However, I was very happy with how enjoyable and passionate it was. Highly recommend if you like caricature-type works, and/or want to get into some basic feminist ideology in a more fun way that's still very meaningful and heartfelt. Barbie is not just a feminist critique, but a love letter to women, girl hood, and the complexities of humans and how beautiful that can be <3