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#‘we don’t want u more broke than u are now’ THEN QUIT ACTING LIKE IM TOO BROKEN TO WALK OR TOO ABLE TO BE BROKEN
bibleofficial · 1 year
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getting bitched at for being on crutches, getting bitched at for being in a wheelchair - or NOT in a wheelchair - getting bitched at for WALKING TOO SLOW ON A CANE like my family needs to fuck off and leave me ALONE
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ateezivy · 2 years
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learn the alphabet with ivy (updated)
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warning! jokes about drugs and killing (this is how she copes with her trauma😭)
A is for…
‘ass shakin on a tuesday?’
‘ask hongjoong if we can get mcdonald’s for dinner’
‘as a mingi enthusiast, i can confirm’
B is for…
‘but did i die?’
‘bonita’
‘boxing was fun until i almost broke my wrist-‘
C is for…
‘cause i said so’
‘cute is overrated, i like looking like i just killed someone-‘
‘call me when i actually care, wooyoung’
D is for…
‘don’t follow me, i won’t be running away. i’m going to the store…’
‘driving is easy, these losers are just lazy. AINT THAT RIGHT YUNHO???’
‘did someone say le sserafim?’
E is for…
‘eggplant emoji? boy what-‘
‘extra ice please’ ‘but seonghwa hyung asked for light-‘ ‘i said extra’
‘even if i die, keep performing’ ‘ivy no-‘
F is for…
‘frogs are innocent beings.’
‘for the LOVE OF GOD SAN SHUT UP’
‘felix said otherwise.’
G is for…
‘god would want me to’
‘going to the gym is so much work, but i’m forced to’
‘guys, i think i started my period…’ *cue panic*
H is for…
‘hongjoongie-oppa says i’m brilliant’ ‘he told you that so you would shut u-‘ ‘san no one asked for your input’
‘how did you manage to make jongho cry bruh-‘
‘how big is his-‘ ‘olivia!’ ‘-house…’
I is for…
‘i’m fearless’ *after getting scared by yunho*
‘i feel bonita’
‘if i have to dance to this song on more time-‘
J is for…
‘just say you hate me already’
‘jongho is my best friend, sometimes’
‘jimin would be my friend.’
K is for…
‘killing people is only okay sometimes’
‘kites still exist??’
‘KITTIES’
L is for…
‘lost me at the word running’
‘look at me’ *slaps san*
‘living is breathing.’
M is for…
‘mingi my dearest’
‘my type? mingi.’
‘my mom told me not to do it, but my mom is also a drug addict so-‘
N is for…
‘no money’
‘no ice cream for you mr. park’
‘nayeon-unnie is cooler than you’
O is for…
‘oh jolly pirate’
‘oh brother, this fool again’ *san walks in*
‘oh, i like yeosang more’
P is for…
‘people think im innocent. that’s cute’
‘pipe down’
‘poop doopy’
Q is for…
‘quit looking at me like that, you’re gonna make me vomit’
‘quiet, i think i hear god’
‘quit talking, i’m trying to listen to itzy!!!’
R is for…
‘right, and i’m beyoncé.’
‘right hand man, jongho. not you’ *cut to wooyoung frowning’
‘rings. blings. and all that’
S is for…
‘silence, who died?’
‘snow snow snow snow snow snow sno-‘ *yeosang throws a snowball at her*
‘sweet. can we go home now?’
T is for…
‘tomorrow is a new day, a new slay’
‘teen beach movie has one of the best soundtracks’
‘they see me rollin, they hatin-‘
U is for…
‘uvula shot’ *shows camera yunhos uvula*
‘under the seaaa. under the seeeaaa. darling is betTA down where it weTTA’
‘uhm, be so fucking for real right now…’
V is for…
‘very good morning my loves’
‘van… gogh’ *van starts moving*
‘valid point, too bad i don’t care’
W is for…
‘wow, and here i thought i was the idiot’
‘where is my food servants’ *acting a scene for a show*
‘why am i here. i need to go home. i, i need to go.’
X is for…
‘xoxo, go piss girl’
‘x-rays helped see the shape of dna’ ‘it’s 2 am. go to bed.’
x’s and the o o o’s they HAUNT me’
Y is for…
‘you have no idea what you’re talking about do you?’
‘yo, chill out brother’
‘yes, i do love my members. yes, i do hate my members. family.’
Z is for…
‘zoom zoom, hop in hotties’
‘zebras. are the white with black stripes. or black with white stripes’
‘zooweemama am i right?’
taglist: @atolua @skzfairies @itzy-eve @cixrosie @stopeatread @alixnsuperstxr @smh-anon
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Hooked
Summary: Harry and Y/n meet again. This time spending more time together and getting to know each other. 
warnings/ disclaimers: Swearing, mentions of death, mentions of childbirth. 
Harry was out searching for a book. He had left Loralie with his mother for the day since he had some errands to run and it would be a busy day. He had finished all of his books and he was on the search for another, maybe even some extra ones for his classroom. He had stopped by his favorite coffee shop and ordered his favorite black coffee to start his day of errands, then he went to the market to get everything for dinner tonight- he thought he might as well get it out of the way since he hates grocery shopping.
Now he’s on the way to a bookstore, he didn’t want to order it on Amazon or just go to a big chain store so he did a quick google search and found a small book store a block down the road from the coffee shop he had gone to. He wanted to find the book burning in water, drowning in flame- his sister had recommended it to him and now he was itching to read it.
He made his way to the bookstore, it looked like a homey place just from the outside of the store. It was a rust colored brick with two sconces on either side of the top of the book shop, a rather tall building- possibly a flat at the top. Harry looks at the cacti peeking through the windows, little flower stickers to decorate.
Harry walks into the book shop, opening the door making the golden bell at the top of the door frame sound off. As soon as Harry steps in he notes the warm scent, it smells like the owner had been baking cookies. “Hello!” He hears a cheerful voice sing while he steps toward the poetry aisle in search of the book. “Is there anything I could help you with today?” He hears the voice again making him turn his head. To his surprise it’s Y/n, he’s been thinking about her. “Oh, hi.” He says bashfully, smiling and stepping over to the cashier counter she was behind.
Y/n smiles, continuing to add price tags on the back of her new shipment of books. She had started her little business officially a bit after she had gotten pregnant with Milo. Milo’s dad had left her after she broke the news to him, they were in their early twenty’s (Y/n being twenty one and him being twenty two) so it was understandable that he didn’t want children yet but the way he dealt with the situation was just dramatic and too much on Y/n. So she put everything into her little book shop, she took out a loan and bought this place, starting planning and putting her all into it, it wasn’t easy but it was worth it.
“Hi Harry.” She says, adding a book to the stack. Harry blushes at her tone again, she’s hard to read. “Um… do you happen to have burning in water, drowning in flame?” He asks, whirling around her display of different styles and colors of bookmarks. He is a twenty six year old man, why is acting like one of his students who thinks he’s handsome? Y/n laughs, nodding while she pulls her mug up to her lips- Harry thinks it’s hot chocolate (and he’s right). “It’s in poetry, first aisle, third shelf, second row.” She says, impressing Harry in how she has memorized every single spot of her book store.
Harry gives her a tight nod, walking over to the poetry section and looking for the book. “Is this your place?” Harry asks, making conversation while the rest of the store is dead silent.
“Yeah, me and Milo live in the flat upstairs.” Y/n admits. Harry’s ears perk up, she didn’t say anything about a partner. He walks back to the counter placing his book down, not handing it over to her yet. “When did you open this place?” He questions, looking around the shop. He sees some crystals, some candles- that both look up for sale and also her personal ones. It’s cute.
“After I got pregnant with Milo. Right after Xavier left me.” She says, leaving Harry wondering. “Xavier is…?” Y/n sighs, rolling her eyes a bit. It’s only their second time meeting and she’s already giving him her sob story. “He’s what would be Milo's father.” She says, picking at her bare nails. She doesn’t consider Xavier Milo's father, he’s never been there for him so he’s not a father. Harry’s lips form a tight line, “um, Loralies mum died… so… we’ve all got baggage.” He laughs, trying to cut the tension.
Loralies mum had died, she died during childbirth. She already had a particularly painful and rough pregnancy with Lora and that was just extremely unexpected, Harry just thanks his stars everyday that his little one is safe with him. “That’s awful, Harry. I‘m sorry.” Harry smiles at her, “it’s okay. I’ve got my Lora so I’m okay.” Y/n nods, smiling and grabbing the book from between his fingers. “She’s a sweet girl.” She compliments.
Harry nods, feeling a little cocky over how well he has raised his daughter. “Is this all for you?” She asks, pulling out a small brown bag with the logo and name on it- they are cute. “Yes please.” Harry politely says, making her laugh under her breath. “If this is your first time here? You get a free bookmark with every book you purchase if it is.” She says, nodding over to the bookmarks. Harry nods, looking through the bookmarks and picking a random Fleetwood Mac one- cute, he thinks. Y/n adds the bookmark to the bag, setting it infront of him. “13.22” she says, Harry fishing his wallet out.
“Are you doing a lot today?” He asks, motioning down to all the books stacked around her while he hands her a ten and four singles. She shrugs, “the usual.” Y/n says, handing him back his change. Harry thinks for a second, pausing his response making Y/n a little nervous. “I could help?” Harry offers, setting his coffee on the table. Y/n gives him a questionable look, sharpening one of her eyes at him. “You want to put tags on books and reorganize with me?” She asks, making Harry laugh. He nods, putting a bookmark back in its place “see, I’m already helping.” He says cheekily.
Y/n smiles, shaking her head. “I guess you can help.” She says.
Soon enough they are sat on the brown carpet, mountains of books around them. Y/n has a blanket wrapped around her and Harry has his legs stretched out. Y/n is tagging books while Harry is setting by the book shelf closest to them organizing. “I swear they put something in the water fountain at that school, the kids are always running and screaming around my classroom while I’m trying to talk about how Van Gogh cut off his own ear.” Harry says, making Y/n loudly giggle, thinking about how Milo probably gives him a horrible time on Wednesdays.
“You like working where Loralie is?” She asks, Harry of course nodding. Loralie is his baby, he loves knowing she’s just up the stairs- especially if she were to get sick or hurt he would be right there to take care of her. “Yeah, I wish I could always be with Milo but one of us has to make the money.” She jokes which makes Harry laugh.
“She always comes waddling into my classroom screaming for me- which disrupts the class but I don’t care.” He shrugs, his mind going back to Loralie. “Oh shit, I’ve got to pick her u-“
“Hi! How are you, baby!” Y/n cheers, Milo running toward her then crashing into her in a hug. Y/n’s friend Mikaela had babysat Milo for the day while Y/n tried to get as much work done as she could. Usually on the weekends (like today) Milo will be in the store with her… which tends to distract her. “Um, I’ve got to go but we should do this again? Maybe… over dinner?” Harry asks, Y/n’s face lighting up.
“Are you asking me on a date?” She teases, Harry blushing and nodding. Y/n laughs, slipping her phone from her pocket, “take my number and we can schedule that date you’re begging me for.” She teases.
Harry gets her number, thanking her for the book and letting him stay before he slips out. Now he’s got to get back to Loralie. But he’s got a date!
**
Later that night when Harry and Loralie are practicing her memorizing her ABCs his phone beeps. He ignores his at first, just expecting it to be a stupid text from his friend Mitch, but once he looks down he sees Y/n’s contact name. “Keep going, bug.” Harry says, grabbing his phone from the carpet while they set on the floor of the living room, unlocking his phone.
Hii, im free next Friday :) let me know if that works with your schedule!
Harry laughs at her cute little smiley faces, trying to think up a response that doesn’t make him sound a thousand years older than her. The tip of his tongue sticks out while he types back his response, his eyebrows knitted in concentration.
Hello! Friday works, how about 5:30? I can pick you up.
He lays his phone back down and helps Loralie with her letters, pulling her onto his lap. “D is for Daddy!” She cheers, making Harry smile, chuckling and kissing her round cheeks while she squeals. Harry hears his phone ding, grabbing it and reading the response, thanking god she answered. He thought his heart would explode out of his chest. It was beating so hard.
That sounds good ☺️ see you then!
Harry got her to say yes, but now he has to deal with the anxiety of actually going on the date. What should he wear, where should they go? Should he be opening the door and pulling out her chair or is that not in-in dating anymore? He hasn’t dated since Loralies mum and his baby is two years old now, it’s been quite a long time since he dipped his toe into trying to charm a woman. He just hopes he’s still got it.
****************************
The day is here. Loralie is with her grandma so Harry can get ready for the date. He’s been panicking and running all around his little house. He showered and smothered himself in lotion and his best cologne- he wanted to smell nice for her. He was adding leave in conditioner to his hair (which he hardly remembers to do) to make it more silky and the curls look a bit prettier than they usually do- he doesn’t know much about hair, he just does what his sister tells him what his hairdresser tells him he should do.
He planned out an outfit, a pair of tan dress pants with a white tank top and a cardigan over it. He had thought over the outfit a bit too much, was it too casual for the date? Was the cardigan too much? He decided against his thoughts and layers some pearls on, sliding his rings on that were in a jewelry dish, placed in there before his shower. He takes a look in the mirror, readjust his cardigan before he gives himself a little nod. He feels good about this.
He makes his way over to Y/n flat, walking up the metal steps to her flat and knocking on the door. When she opens the door he notices just how amazing her home smells, just like her book shop. He needs to remember to ask her where she gets her candles. “Hi,” Harry smiles, looking his date up and down. She was dressed nicely. It was a sage green dress with spaghetti straps, it stopped a couple inches above her knee. Harry thought it was cute.
She paired it with gold jewelry and a black cross body bag. Dirty white vans to go along with it that added a child-like feel to the outfit. Harry thought that was cute too.
“Hi,” she smiles, glancing behind her. “You look nice.” Harry says, suddenly feeling hot. Y/n laughs under her breath, thanking him. “You look nice as well.” Harry smiles bashfully, looking down at his feet. “Thank you”
Y/n says her goodbyes to Milo, hugging and kissing him before thanking her friend again for watching him. It’s the same one from last week, Mikaela. They get into Harry’s car, a bit of awkward silent before Y/n breaks it, Harry stopping the tapping of his fingers along to the low radio once her voice interrupts it. “So, where are we going?” She asks, smoothing her dress out against her thighs.
Harry laughs, he’s not prepared for dates and for some reason he hadn’t thought about the most important part. “I’ll eat anywhere to be honest.” Y/n admits, looking through her window at all the different places.
Harry was looking around in a panic and he finally pulled something out of his ass that sounded good, especially on his teacher salary. “Olive Garden?” Harry says, trying to say it confidently but it definitely comes out as more of a question. Y/n’s eyes light up, she’s in the mood for bottomless salad and breadsticks. “That sounds heavenly.” And Harry is happy to hear that.
They walk into the busy restaurant, instantly getting escorted to a table. Harry is happy they didn’t have to wait- that would have just been embarrassing since he threw this together last minute. They sat in the booth, sliding in and getting comfortable. “So, how’s the bookstore?” Harry asks, pulling apart his breadstick. Y/n knocks her shoe with his under the table, she thinks it’s cute how bashfully he can get when just asking a simple question. “It’s good. How are your little art students?” Harry playfully rolls his eyes at her choice of words.
“It’s good. They are doing self portraits.” Y/n laughs, her eyes widening.
“How’s that going?” Harry laughs, shaking his head. “They look like shittier versions of Picasso’s paintings.” Y/n dramatically gasps through her laughs, “aren’t you supposed to worship the ground that man walks on? Why would you say that?” Harry rolls his eyes once again, chuckling at her. “I’m just behind honest!”
Their date goes on the same, they order their food, giggling while they eat and even getting into a little food fight with the leftover breadsticks. (They weren't being humble, they asked for another basket) They finished their food, “That was fun.” Y/n admits smiling. Harry nods, taking the check and opening his wallet. “Here,” y/n holds out her card, Harry shaking his head. “I’ll pay.” Harry shrugs her off, handing his card tucked in the black check book the waiter had brought over back to him before she can further protest.
Y/n scoffs, throwing another breadstick at him that he tried to catch but it’s too greasy. “Hey! I thought we had a truce?!” Harry questions her. She shakes her head, apparently swearing off the truce. Harry shrugs, thanking the waiter when he brings his card back along with their mints. “You better sleep with one eye open then.” Harry says, standing up and waiting for her. She laughs, standing up and pulling her bag over her shoulder. “I have a three year old, I basically sleep with them both open. You’re nothin’.” She says, Harry nodding his head in agreement. He knows just how she feels.
They drive back to her flat, Harry of course walking her to her door. “I had so much fun tonight.” Harry says, looking down before he looks up at Y/n. She smiles, blushing. She hasn’t dated since Xavier and she admired that to Harry tonight, they both admitted that they haven’t dated since their children’s parents so they felt a lot comfortable knowing they were both rusty.
“Me too, you’re a really sweet guy, Harry.” She says. She needs to remember to thank her forgetful little Milo for leaving his folder in Harry’s classroom. “Thanks for agreeing to go out with me. I was pretty nervous.” Harry admits a bit sheepishly. Harry is a bit giddy on the inside about them hitting it off so well, they were having the best conversation and at times they were getting extremely loud, probably annoying the people around them, but they didn’t care, they had fun. “Yeah, I was nervous as hell but I haven’t had this much fun in a while. Thanks for tonight.” Y/n smiles, leaning in for a kiss.
Harry’s eyes widen, but he still kisses her back. He hasn’t kissed anyone in so long he thought he had forgot how to for a second. His hands come up to cup her jaw, moving his lips with hers. “I’ll see you soon. Have a good night.” Y/n smiles, opening her door with red cheeks. Harry nods, a little flabbergasted. “Have a good night.” He says, trudging down her steps.
And now he’s hooked on her.
Tag list: @romionefp @iaalien @hopeyoustaythenight @evanjh
If you liked this please reblog and please tell me what you thought of it ☺️ thank you for reading!! I hope you all like the series so far I’m writing part three right now so it should come out soon ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
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the-lonelybarricade · 3 years
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Hiii!! I've been following your work since the beginning and i just wanted to give u a big squeeze of a hug for blessing us with all of your fics 'cause i feel like we don't deserve u for blessing us with all these wonderful feysand content that u are sharing.
I hope all is well with ur life and in ur studies, and if it's not too much to ask, would you consider writing a feysand au where Feyre & Rhys aren't mates, but are happily in love and in a relationship--when all of a sudden, one of them meets their mate (preferably Rhys..?) or something like that 😚. Won't lie to u that im dying to know what events would play out and how Feyre would react if this scenario happened. Really no pressure to write this or anything just wanted to try my luck with this idea :DD. Thank u!
Bestie, ooof. What are you trying to do to me? Can you imagine how heartbreaking that would be for Feysand to be happy and in love, waiting patiently for the mating bond to snap only to find out they were star-crossed lovers all along? Well you don’t have to imagine it, because I already have. And if I’m going to be in torment over Feysand angst, I’m (affectionately) dragging you all down with me.
P.s. thank you for the submission lovely, I hope you enjoy <3
The Chains That Bind Us
Word count: 1,956
⟡⟡⟡
Feyre and Rhysand were happily married. For 300 years, they had basked in what seemed like an infinite stretch of rapture, working alongside and complimenting each other with a grace and chemistry that had always felt predestined. They had always been certain they were mates, but time had flowed on and neither had felt the inkling of that special, magic bond.
They have resigned that perhaps the mating bond will never snap, perhaps that’s simply not what they were to one another, but that was okay. It was enough to be husband and wife, to be High Lord and Lady, to be happy and in love. They didn’t need a mating bond to reaffirm what they felt for one another. Things were already perfect as they were.
Until they weren’t. Until they had journeyed together to Illyria to oversee the announcement of the first all-female battalion. It had been a long term goal of Rhysand and his brothers to finally battle back the long ingrained sexism of Illyrian culture, and the visit was meant to be a celebration. A liberating ceremony, in honor of their mothers and all the females who had been victims of prejudice.
But when the leader of the battalion stepped forward to be acknowledged for her accomplishments, Rhysand had gone rigid at Feyre’s side, his breathing suddenly ragged. His pupils were blown wide, eyes fixed, riveted to the female.
Feyre felt her whole world had imploded in that moment. Especially when that female’s eyes had met her High Lord’s and had frozen just the same, the two bearing matched expressions of awe and disbelief.
She was certain she was going to be sick. Such a thing would be far from befitting of a High Lady, so Feyre had immediately winnowed back to their River House, back into their bathroom where she was instantly emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl.
Rhysand was there not too long after, holding back Feyre’s hair. They said nothing to each other, not until Feyre had recovered enough to turn and face her husband.
She was entirely unprepared for the way her heart shattered to meet his face, to meet those lovely eyes she had loved for centuries. Eyes that had only moments before been staring at another female with so much blind devotion it had torn her open.
“Feyre—” he started.
“I suppose we should have assumed that something like this could happen,” she interrupted, because she couldn’t bear to hear him apologize. Not for something like this, something that was entirely out of either of their control.
“It doesn’t change anything,” he insisted, but there was a strain to his voice that had never been present before. A bite that Feyre was convinced was the result of Rhysand battling against his instincts to return to Illyria, to that female.
“It changes everything, Rhys.”
She was already weeping as she choked the words out, because speaking them made them true. Those few centuries of bliss between them, they were a bubble, a perfectly crafted delusion that had finally popped.
“I love you,” Rhys seethed, as though arguing with himself. “I don’t even know that females name—”
“It doesn’t matter, Rhys. She’s your—”
“Don’t say it,” he begged, his voice a broken rasp. “Please, don’t say it.”
Somehow, that made it impossibly worse. That Rhys had been gifted this incredible, Cauldron-blessed thing, but was scorning it for her sake. Most Fae dreamed of the moment their mating bond would snap, and here was her husband acting as if it was his worst nightmare.
But Feyre knew what it was like for males. She knew he was clawing against every instinct in his mind, screaming at him to go to his mate, to know her name, to claim her. Feyre stifled another sob. Rejected mating bonds could drive a male mad. How could she ever think to do that to him? How could she deny him this piece of himself?
What broke her heart more than anything is that Feyre knew he would. Rhysand would reject his bond, would let that intrinsic part of his soul be torn away, for her sake. If Feyre asked, he would stay. He would stay and be miserable.
“I can’t do this to you, Rhys. I can’t force you to stay with me out of duty. I will not be your jailor.”
“You are my wife,” Rhys choked, reaching for her hand. He drew her palms to his face, allowing her to caress his cheeks. He shut his eyes as he nuzzled into her touch, causing his unshed tears to fall, racing down to collect at her hands. “You are my High Lady. You are the only one I want to be with.”
That wrecked another sob through Feyre’s body, which came out as a harsh exhale as she tried to restrain it. “You’d be a broken male without her, Rhys. The Cauldron—” she sucked in a strangled breath. Some truths were just too difficult to confront— “The Cauldron didn’t intend for us to be together.”
“Damn the Cauldron,” he growled, reaching for her with newfound conviction. “No one and nothing can decide who I love. No one can tell me that you are not who I belong with—who I belong to.”
Feyre allowed him to bundle her in his arms, to press her fiercely against his chest. She knew moments like this were fleeting, where they could hold each other as husband and wife. Already, their love was tarnished. Tainted. Blood spilled onto white snow. How long would it take for this mating bond to seep, to spill into the cracks, to spread until it consumed them? She couldn’t see an outcome where they could stay together unblemished, where they wouldn’t come to resent one another.
“Rhysand, listen to me love,” Feyre said, and found that her voice was steadier than she anticipated. “I care more about you being happy than I care about that happiness being found with me. Do you understand?”
“I would not be happier without you, Feyre.” His voice was ripe with earnesty. When she turned those eyes to meet his, those violet depths were burning, the silver constellations completely eclipsed by molten amethyst. He swallowed thickly. “Do I… want that female? Yes.” Feyre cringed to hear her husband admit it outloud. “But, that is just my instincts. I will be able to manage them with time. This bond is nascent. My love for you? It’s endured for centuries. The cauldron is not faultless; my parents were mates and they were miserable together. I could never imagine someone so perfect to walk beside me as you, Feyre. I do not seek another, no matter what fate has to say for it.”
Feyre allowed the comfort of his words to wash over her. She rested her head against Rhysand’s shoulder, inhaling his familiar scent, letting herself lavish in the rhythm of him, the beat of his heart steady in his chest.
“I will understand if you change your mind,” she whispered. “I do not hold you to your vows. If you become unhappy, if one day you cannot resist the pull you feel towards her… I will not hold it against you. I give you permission to… to leave me.”
Rhys let out a small, rueful laugh before he pressed a tender kiss to her temple. “How could I desert a love that is so selfless? The least I could do in the wake of such a declaration is promise to never see that female again.”
Feyre shook her head emphatically. “Don’t promise me that, Rhys. Just—just promise me that we’ll always be honest with each other. That we’ll always be a team, whether it be as rulers, or as lovers, or… or just as friends.”
“I promise,” he swore. “I vowed on my court and crown that I will love you for eternity. And I still know that to be true, even now. My soul… it might belong to someone else. But my heart, Feyre, it will always belong to you.”
There was something irreparably changed between them. They both knew it, could sense the way it lingered between them. The first crack, and possibly not the last. What they had was fragile now, but they had a gift for being delicate with one another.
The silence hung between them, a wretched, discomfiting presence that had never been there before. Both not quite sure what to say, not quite sure where this put them. She watched Rhysand’s lower lip quiver, understood that it was from the strain of not burdening her with his own turmoil over the situation.
Feyre tutted as she threw her arms around him, recognizing the signs of his crumbling. Rhys bowed his head in shame, burying his face into her chest.
“I’m sorry,” he gasped against her, releasing a sob of his own. “I’m sorry it couldn’t have been you. I wanted it to be you. I’m a failure of a husband, for putting you through this.”
“You are an excellent husband,” Feyre protested, threading her fingers through his hair soothingly. Her voice was still raw. “I don’t blame you for this, Rhys. I love you just the same.”
He lifted his head so their tear-stained faces were level. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, still glistening in silver. “What do we do now?”
They clung to each other so tightly, as if they pressed hard enough they could redirect fate, could mold their souls together and correct the misdeed of the Cauldron.
“I don’t know,” Feyre answered, burying her face in his shoulder as if it would hide her from the truth of the world. “I suppose we have no choice but to keep going. We’ll find our footing again. Together. And if we don’t… well, maybe we can wish on the stars.”
There was a huff of air at her ear. A laugh, she guessed, or something like it, something wry and humorless. Rhys moved underneath her, and Feyre pulled away to watch in confusion as her husband rose to his feet.
He extended his hand towards her. Curious, Feyre accepted, allowing him to pull her to her feet. In a blink, they were on the rooftop, beneath the stars. She hadn’t even realized the sun had set until she was staring up at the impossibly bright cosmos.
“Where better to find our footing than under those very stars?”
She turned to him, and Rhys was staring at her the way he had on starfall, all those centuries ago. Staring at her as if she were the brightest star in the sky, as though he looked to Feyre to cast his wishes.
“Will you dance with me, wife?”
Not convinced she was capable of speech, Feyre nodded. Using the hand he still held, Rhys twirled her into his arms. And though no music played, they found their own rhythm, lost in the cadence of each other, spinning endlessly under the stars.
As they swayed under the endless expanse of sky and starlight, Feyre mused how even the brightest of stars eventually burned out, but that didn’t make them any less worth wishing on. That didn’t mean they weren’t worth fighting for.
⟡⟡⟡
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wizkiddx · 4 years
Note
heyheyhey idk if u do req but love your dad tom stuff! PLZ PLZ do tom helping his kids with homework but cant do it and reader has to help and its all fluffy 😩💕
ye im down to do req and this had me going completely ott cos its v cute (and a lot less angsty than what ive written recently aha) so apologies for my ramblings:
Summary: tom has the kids for a day and maths homework throws a spanner in the works - tomhollandxreader
implied smut + v slight reference to porn but basically just fluff I promise xox
\\\\\\\\\\\\///////////
Tom had dealt with a lot of whining today. Nova and Leo were the absolute joys of his life, there was no doubt about it. Of course, he also loved you a hell of a lot too - sometimes to his detriment though, hence the position he was in now. 
You’d had a busy week at work and he had been away for the first half of it - leaving you as an almost single mother to a 5 and a 7 year old. So completely fairly, you’d asked if he wouldn’t mind watching the kids for a the day on Sunday, allowing you to go to a friends baby shower. There was no answer but to agree, Tom loved quality time with the kids and he wanted you to kick back and relax with you friends too. 
However the afternoon had not been nearly as idealistic as it were supposed to be in his head. You had left him only one real job (apart from the unavoidable essentials of keeping the kids alive with food and water, something you’d hope he need not be reminded about now). Really it shouldn’t of been that hard, it was just each kid had two pieces of homework. After convincing and cajoling the kids into sitting at the table which he’d already set up with Nova’s ‘Liverpool FC’ and Leo’s ‘captain marvels’ pencil case, the English was easy. 
In fact 5 year old Leo took great joy out of writing a poem with his Dad, which basically involved trying to rhyme any word with another - especially when he tried to convince Tom that all his completely fictitious words were real and worked together. A personal favourite had been ‘snakes’ and ‘palakes’ which Leo was convinced meant pancakes - arguing so vehemently Tom almost started to doubt himself on basic English. 
Thankfully though his eldest and most sensibly child eventually took him out his misery. If anyone had any control over the Holland boys, Leo and Tom - it was the Holland girls. You and Nova had both boys completely under you spell, often taking advantage of the fact too. It was only when Nova got bored of hearing Tom and Leo mock arguing, interspersed with the little boys giggles that Tom tried his absolute hardest to keep a straight face at, that she swooped in.
“Stop being silly Leo, mummy told you he’s not good at school!” She looked oh so innocent, eyes immediately flicking down to continue the little short story she was happily going on with. In response  Tom scowled, knowing your highly curious and intelligent daughter had asked you (for one reason or another) why he was not so academic. Yet instead of Leo bursting out laughing, instead he just nodded and accepted it too - making Tom scowl even more. Not even Leo thought it was a joke. 
So apart from his children apparently taking pity on his simple mind, it was all going smoothly. Perhaps, due to the thankful fact your children had inherited their brains from their mother - something Tom was forever thankful for, until he was shamed for his substandard intellect in the family. Then again though, he was Spiderman. So take that. 
Until Nova brought out her maths sheet. Then the afternoon quickly descended into chaos. It was fractions, something she hadn’t quite grasped from school yet - a concept that still hurt her head somewhat. Normally though it’d be fine, she’d bring the sheet to you and the two of you used ‘ girl power’ to figure it out… you prior experience as a tutor while in uni helping you know how to break through to her. 
Unfortunately Tom didn’t share this same experience. Nor did Tom share a maths qualification… something that had evaded him completely during his schooling career. Of course, it had never been a particular issue, acting didn’t require the use of maths and algebra and Tom was in a very lucky position of being able to pay someone to manage his finances from a very young age. So no, dividing 2/3 and 3/7 didn’t come the most naturally to him. Or at all to be quite honest. 
“I CANT DO IT AND GRACE IN MY CLASS COULD!” For context, Grace was one of her school friends, who forever liked to compare herself to the young Holland - especially because she was normally ahead. Nova had gone from quiet frustration, staring at the questions with her tongue sticking out slightly, to one of pure rage - yelling at her dad with tears in her eyes. Nova was normally incredibly intuitive, she always found it difficult when she couldn’t do something. Now, with a ‘teacher’ who was more useless than her - the frustrations inevitably bubbled over. 
“Hey, we can work it out, just calm-“
“YOU CANT DO IT EITHER YOUR STUPID “ She was just young and frustrated, Tom tried not to take it personally but … it wasn’t always easy. Chiefly because this was the height of offensive statement Nova knew - this was her version of adult explicit language. 
“Nova you can’t be rude.” He used his stern voice, something Tom very rarely used with his little girl. Though he never wanted to upset her, neither did he want her to think it was ever okay to be so rude to anyone like that- no matter how crappy at maths they were. It hurt him to do so but it was necessary - life lessons about the importance of being kind needed to be learnt. And it worked… if what Tom was aiming for was his beautiful baby girl’s eyes to brim with sparkling tears, her bottom lip quivering slightly. 
Instantly Tom’s eyebrows drooped, trying to fight his natural reaction to scoop her onto his knee and reassure her everything was okay. But as you had lectured him many a time before, he had to put his foot down once in a while. So instead, the father and daughter were locked in a silence and intense eye contact, until Nova hesitantly began to speak. 
“I’m sorry Daddy.” During which, Nova shoved her chair back, making it screech against the tiled floors uglily before running off up the stairs. Tom knew she was crying a lot. Knew this was going to take a bit of fixing. 
With a sigh of his daughters name, Tom popped his head into the living to check on Leo who had already finished all his stuff. Seeing him completely zombified in front of ‘paw patrol’ on TV, Tom trudged up the stairs. He knew where she was, when Nova was upset she always hid in the corner of her wardrobe and cried in the darkness. So after steadying himself with a little internal monologue of how to approach the situation Tom walked in and sat down beside the wardrobe - knocking on the door slightly. 
“Nova… can we talk please?” All he heard was sniffing echoing from the wooden chamber until she tried to shout through the door.
“Go-go… go away daddy.” It broke his heart, the way her voice wavered, making Tom pout - gently letting his head fall against the wardrobe doors. 
“I don’t want you to be upset beautiful…. And you did apologise which I appreciate. You know why Daddy got angry right?” Her sniffles heightened before she muttered a quiet ‘yes’. “And you are sorry? Because that might’ve made me really sad too.”
“I’m s-s-sorry, I didn’t mean it.”
“Then that’s good and we don’t need to cry. You want a cuddle little one?” Before Tom could even properly get up the door was being pushed open by her little hands, revealing a tear stained face and big glassy eyes looking up at her Dad. Swiftly Tom scooped her up and out of the cupboard, whispering to her while she buried her face in his chest. 
“Oh come here my little bean.”
//////////////////////
When you came home late that evening, only mildly exhausted from spending the whole day gossiping with your girls, it was weirdly quiet. All the lights were out in the front room, which made you close the door gently, thinking Tom had managed to exhaust the kids - and himself in the process. With a relieved sigh at the peace you pattered into the kitchen to get yourself a drink (it had been a little concern that Tom would’ve worked the kids into a hyperactive and delerious state that kept them up long past bedtime - which ultimately you’d have to deal with). The house was remarkably silent and though it was clear from the littered toys everywhere that it had indeed been Tom alone in charge, everything seemed pretty okay. 
It was only as you were about to head upstairs to join your hubby in bed that you realised the study light was still on, streaming through the small crack in the doorframe. Assuming Tom had just neglected to turn it off, in otherwords Tom being Tom, you nudged it open with your hand. Surprisingly though, there was your husband, hunched over the desk, looking almost angrily focused - between the computer screen and a piece of paper below him. Normally you would’ve just assumed it was another script sent over or an edit Harry had sent of another screenplay they were writing together. 
But no, the blatant red flag was the screen that you could see. A screen on YouTube, of a man pointing at a whiteboard of fractions. 
So with a soft wrist you wrapped your knuckled on the side of the door, even if you had technically already entered the room. The reaction had you stifling a laugh, it was as if you’d caught him watching something *less PG* the way he jumped out his seat, closing the browser immediately. 
“Love!! I -er … didn’t know you’d got back?”
“I just did.” You smiled gently, while walking into stand behind his chair, wrapping your arms round his neck and pressing a kiss to his jaw. “Soooo…. what’ca doingggg” The glee in your voice was evident, making Tom groan and shut his eyes. 
“I hate you, you know that right?” 
“No you don’t… but you were watching a primary school video on fractions, if I’m not so mistaken?” He sighed deeply, making a point of turning the paper with his scribbles over to obscure it. 
“Nova’s homework.. she couldn’t do it and neither could I, so then she basically screamed at me for being thick and udseless and then had a breakdown.” 
Now you felt guilty. This was a bit of a sore spot with Tom, he always for some reason felt inferior because of his academic ability. Which was stupid- mainly because he was the most clever and talented man you’d ever met. Just…. Just not at fraction. 
“Oh T… you could’ve just left it for me to do with her, I don’t mind.”
“That’s not the point Y/n.” He snapped a little, shrugging your arms off him and spinning in the chair so he could face you. “She’s my daughter and I should be able to help her! It’s not like it’s that hard, it’s just I’m unbelievable thick.”
“Tom stop. Look - you can do this I assure you, it’s just been a long old time ‘kay? Your rusty and that’s only natural.”
“I really don’t think I could ev-“
“Can I teach you? It’s just the method and then I promise you’ll get it.”
It took a bit of persuasion but eventually Tom agreed, letting you pull the corner chair forward to beside his desk so you could demonstrate it to him. To be fair, he really could do it- just a bit of familiarising on the ‘stick-change-flip’ method. The way the lightbulb moment literally caused his face to light up; scurrying to do the question for himself, tongue sticking out in the process; then presenting it to you proudly - well it had you melting in your seat. 
“See! That took all of 5 minutes and you got it.” You elbowed  his side by leaning forward in the chair, which instead of letting go, Tom reached and caught, before pulling you up and round. You landed with you bum perched on the edge of the mahogany desk, Tom now stood up- his legs in-between your parted thighs - your feet hooking round the back of knees. 
“It’s all down to my incredibly talented teacher.”
“No…. No I really don’t think it is” You mused with a soft voice, fingers instinctively going to the nape of his neck - twirling the little curls round your fingertips. 
“Well even so… I think I could teach you a thing or two too.” Never one to mull on anything, Tom’s tone had immediately switched to something a lot more… mischievous. 
“Not even going to ask about my day? Wheres the chat mr smooth?” He had to repress the grin at your smirk because as much as you infuriated the hell out of him - you also had this weird ability of making him feel so entranced and helpless. He relented with a sarcastic chime.
“Fine, how was your day love.”
“Good…. but I have a feeling you’re about to make it a whole lot better.”
That was all the signals he needed to lean forward, in doing so forcing you back until your back landed completely on the cool wood. His lips feathered yours, both hands pinned either side of your head.
“Oh darling… you have no idea.”
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sgtjbbhasmyheart · 4 years
Text
Drunk Texting Is(n’t) Bad for Your Health- Chapter Two
Series Summary: Talk about your unconventional meet-cute! Bucky receives a text by mistake requesting he prove he's not Reader's sister. The easy dialogue between Reader and Bucky sparks a natural friendship, but could it lead to more? Bucky still deems himself unworthy of any form of affection or love. Reader is hellbent to prove him wrong. With the help of some (meddling) friends along the way, Bucky may get his happily-ever-after after all.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word count: 2921
Warnings: bad language words, blink and you’ll miss the angst, just some fluff
A/N: divider credit- @firefly-graphics
DO NOT copy or replicate without my permission
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You awoke with a start, feeling as if you were late for work or something important and forgot to set your alarm. Your heart beat an erratic tattoo against your ribcage. Scrambling for your cell phone, you blindly reached across the side table near your bed in a panic. Unplugging the phone, you brought the device an ungodly closeness to your face. It was only 6:17. On Saturday.
Your pulse throbbed behind your eyeballs, and a strange stickiness coated the inside of your mouth. Did you drink that much last night?
How could you not? Timmons was a fair boss, and you enjoyed your job, but that dude loved the sound of his own voice.
The quarterly business dinners were mandatory for all employees, even for the P.A.s. Typically, they weren’t so bad, but last night, Timmons felt the need to toot his own horn for landing a massive contract with Stark Industries slash The Avengers. He went on and on about how great it was for the firm.
He was like a giant kid in a candy store with his ramblings. ‘We will be promoting the face of The Avengers and everything that goes with it,’ he spouted off like the firm was god’s gift to public relations.
You groaned at the reminder of last night’s presentation. The contract wasn’t even in effect yet, and you were sick of the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Timmons could be a real buzz kill.
Rolling to your back, you brought your phone up to tap the screen to read the emails you received overnight. On display was a text from 11:04 by someone named James. It read: “Goodnight, (Y/N).”
Your mind went back to last night again, trying to recall who this James was. He must be significant if you plugged his contact information into your phone already. Had you met someone last night?
Drawing a blank, you clicked on the text bubble to pull up the thread. Briefly scanning through the numerous texts, everything came rushing back. In an attempt to text your sister, Robyn, you mistakenly texted this mysterious, James.
You felt like an utter buffoon when you learned he wasn’t Robyn. You always did have a way with the cute boys. Probably why you were single. You groaned out loud as you read on.
You im safely inside my apartment. Pretty sure no one followed me home
James Did you triple check the lock on the front door?
You yes dad yeesh
James There are a lot of bad people out there. Just want to make sure you’re safe.
You sounds like you watch the news too much but its sweet of u to care
James I know from experience.
You r u the bad guy or have u been the one mugged?
James Let’s just say I have friends that have dealt with the bad things of the world.
You right i almost forgot ur a military-trained assassin athlete mchottie
James Did you ever send your sister a text?
You shit thanks for reminding me i have such a crazy story to tell her
James Only good things, I hope.
You oh yeah all the good things an enigmatic yet handsome stranger cares more about my safety than any of my ex-boyfriends ever did.
James My ma raised me right.
You id say
James_ I hate to cut this short, but I think you need your rest. Especially if you’re meeting your sister tomorrow._
You i dont want to agree but ur probably right
You whats ur name btw?
James My name? Why? Do you plan to continue texting me after tonight?
You duh ur fun to talk to
James Oh.
You or not its cool if u dont want to
James It’s James.
You nice to meet u james im (y/n)
James Nice to meet you as well.
You my sister just texted me back and were still meeting at 9 i should go 
You goodnite james
James Goodnight, (Y/N).
Oh. My. God. Had you seriously drunk-flirted with a stranger and offered to keep texting him? You had no shame with a few drinks in you.
You brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose and sighed loudly.
What did you know of this James? He had a New York area phone number. Check. He could have been a real dick about your mistake but wasn’t. Understanding. Check. He worried about you getting home safely in your inebriated state. Caring. Check. Not too forthcoming with the nine to five. Secretive. Check. His mouth looked so soft and plush, and his eyes were made to drown in. Gorgeous. Check.
A heat simmered beneath your skin as you recounted the shortlist you’d made. Were you lusting over someone you’d exchanged less than forty texts with? Had you somehow woken back up in high school?
Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you stared at the screen displaying the message thread. Were you really considering this? You nodded your head to answer your own question. Where was the harm in a little shameless flirting? If worse came to worst, you could always block him.
With your mind made up, you began typing into your phone, constructing an apology.
You Good morning! First off, I want to apologize for the way I behaved over text last night.
You Though, I do like to imbibe in the occasional drink or two, I am, by no means, a lush.
You Please take everything I said with a grain of salt. Apparently, I get loose-lipped and cheeky with free wine. 😐
You Again, I’m sorry and understand if you wanted to cease our correspondence for my behavior.
You blew out a breath and tossed your phone aside. It was up to fate now and a stranger named James.
You laid in your bed for several minutes staring at the ceiling, contemplating between whether to send a ‘haha just kidding’ text and what the weather would be like, so you could forego shaving your legs in the shower today.
Your phone chimed during the pondering of hair removal, indicating a new text. You knew it was James proclaiming you a freak and to forget his number, but secretly, you hoped it was Robyn canceling today.
Seizing the phone from your mattress top, your heart’s beat increased with each second you went without looking at the screen. Finding the courage, you flipped the device over to read the message.
James Quite the formal apology, Ms. Professor.
You smiled at the text. It didn’t tell you to pound sand or eat shit. No, it was teasing and in jest. You sighed in relief.
You Cease our correspondence too much?
James No, no it was perfect if this was 1863, and you were breaking up with me via telegraph.
You Stop!
James Exactly! ‘Never speak to me again!’ Stop. ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ Stop.
A belly laugh disrupted the tranquil air of your bedroom. You quickly thumbed out a reply once you caught your breath.
You You’re incorrigible.
James I’m glad to see you are using proper capitalization and punctuation this morning.
You Ha!
You When you are buzzed and/or tipsy, capitals and periods be damned. Like you’re so perfect when you’re drunk.
James We all have our flaws.
Was he implying he was a sloppy texter when drunk, too? You shrugged it off as him being cryptic again.
You What are you doing up so early on a Saturday? I didn’t wake you, did I?
You were suddenly stricken with guilt. You should have waited for a more reasonable hour to send out rapid-fire apology texts. Not at 6:36 in the morning. You didn’t want last night’s behavior hanging over you, though. Better to clear the air now than later. You could always ask for forgiveness again if you had disturbed his sleep.
James I had just gotten back from my run when I saw your texts. I have training this morning.
You Oh, right. For your hush-hush, super top secret mission/quidditch game.
You You ever gonna tell me what you really do?
James_ Maybe. Someday._
How far away was someday? Was he planning to text you until you both died or until he got bored? How did texting relationships even work?
You Or is it one of those situations where if you told me you’d have to kill me?
James 😈
You There you go again--being all mysterious.
James Keep ‘em guessing and coming back for more.
You Has that strategy worked well for you in the past?
James Got you to text me again this morning, didn’t it?
You scoffed at what he had suggested. He was correct, but your stubborn streak would deny everything.
You The only reason I texted you this morning was to apologize for acting like a drunken fool last night.
And to squash the curiosity burning in your veins. But he didn’t need to know that.
James Oh.
The reply caused you to furrow your brow and your stomach to drop. You regretted not adding more levity to your last text. Of course, it wasn’t the only reason you were drawn to him.
You I appreciate that the selfie you sent wasn’t a dick pic. And you genuinely seemed to care about me getting home safely. Thank you.
You And maybe- a teeny, tiny bit- is honestly interested in getting to know you better.
You waited on pins and needles for his text, watching the pulsing ellipsis on your screen. Was he just humoring you?
James Hook. Line. Sinker.
Reading his response generated a flush from your jaw to your hairline. You growled in embarrassment. You fell for the oldest trick in the book. He baited you for a compassionate answer, and you delivered beautifully. Hook, line, and sinker, indeed.
You You’re an ass. I take everything back.
James Don’t be mad. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go, but you played into my trap wonderfully.
James If it makes you feel any better, all kidding aside, I want to get to know you better too.
James I fell asleep with a smile on my face last night and woke up with one this morning.
James Because of you, (Y/N).
A flutter broke apart in your chest. You hadn’t time-traveled back to high school; no, this was junior high territory.
You You’re lucky you’re so damn charming, James.
James Doll, you have no idea.
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The subway ride into Manhattan usually gave you the chance to get a little reading in since it took nearly fifty minutes from Queens. Not today, though. You spent the entirety of the train ride texting back and forth with James. It was mundane stuff, but you were getting a grasp of who James was as a person.
You Favorite color?
James Black. You?
You Blue.
You Favorite ice cream flavor?
James Chocolate. Yours?
You Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia.
James I didn’t realize we were getting specific.
You We weren’t, but that’s my favorite.
You Favorite movie?
James I like the classics- The Wizard of Oz, It’s A Wonderful Life, Frankenstein.
You I have too many to list, so don’t ask.
You Okay. Lightning round because I’m almost to my stop.
James Where are you going again?
You paused your reply for a brief second, wondering if you should divulge your destination. You’d known James less than twenty-four hours; although, it felt like weeks after this morning. Where was the harm in telling him where you were meeting your sister? There were nearly nine million people in this city. There was no way you’d ever bump into each other.
You A bakery in the Upper East Side called Two Little Red Hens. Ever been?
James Don’t think I have.
You Well, since you like chocolate, they have a fantastic cake called Brooklyn Blackout. Super rich but delicious.
James Sounds right up my alley.
You Cats or dogs?
James I’m gone too much, so cats.
The answer piqued your interest. Maybe he was an athlete. Wouldn’t it be practice and not training, though? Or he’s FBI or CIA.
You Socks on or off for sleeping?
James Off.
You Silver or gold?
James Silver.
You Morning, noon, or night?
James Night.
You How do you take your coffee?
James Room for sugar and creamer.
You Boxers or briefs?
James Boxer briefs.
You laughed out loud, looking around the subway car to see if anyone was paying attention to you. Per usual, they weren’t.
You Touché.
As soon as the train stopped, you gathered your purse close to your body and made for the exit. You followed the crowd of fellow passengers through the turnstile and ascended the stairs onto street level.
The morning sunlight caressed your skin like a warm blanket. The humidity wasn’t too bad, yet, but the threat of afternoon thunderstorms still hung in the air.
Even with the reasonably early hour, the sidewalk was stuffed with people, carrying to-go coffee cups or shopping bags. You fought for your little spot of real estate on the grimy concrete.
Stopping at a red traffic light, waiting to cross, you typed out another question for James.
You Pineapple on pizza--yay or nay?
The light changed as you finished, and the throng of pedestrians around you guided you across the street. You spotted Robyn outside the bakery as your phone dinged with a new text alert.
“Wow, I’m surprised you made it on time,” Robyn said as you hugged hello.
You looked at the clock on your phone. 8:58. “You and me both, sister.” Glancing back at your phone’s screen, you giggled.
James What kind of monster puts pineapple on their pizza??
“What’s so funny?” Robyn asked as you accompanied her through the bakery’s door.
With a grin on your face, you punched out a quick reply:
You Well, it was nice knowing you, James. It was a swell friendship while it lasted--a whole 11 ½ hours.
Robyn elbowed you softly in the ribs with a look on her face, seeking an explanation.
“Ow,” you grunted. “What?”
“You tell me. I half expected a zombie to walk through the doors today after your text last night. Not Suzie Sunshine.”
You both edged closer to the counter as the line in front of you dwindled.
James Say it ain’t so, doll! Pineapple on pizza? Really??
You let out a low chortle as you skimmed the text. You glimpsed up at Robyn as you shuffled forward in line again. “Believe me, I’m pretty hungover,” you replied, shoving your phone in your back pocket. “It’s a funny story. I’ll tell you everything when we sit.”
Robyn stared at you warily, still trying to figure out what had come over you. “Okay,” she conceded, stepping to the register to order.
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With each of you supplied with an iced coffee and a peach ginger scone, you found an empty table by a window along 2nd Avenue and proceeded to tell Robyn about James.
When you stopped to catch your breath, remembering the whirlwind the last twelve hours had been, you peered at your sister for her reaction.
She stared at you like you’d grown a second head. She shook her head in disbelief. “(Y/N), what where you thinking?”
Your brow pinched in confusion. Was she actually scolding you? You crossed your arms over your chest. “I was thinking about how my big sister is always telling me to meet new people and how it’s time I thought about settling down.”
“Not like this it’s not,” she hissed. “This is how your body parts end up in someone’s freezer!”
You choked on the piece of scone you shoved in your mouth before she started ridiculing you. After coughing to clear your airway and taking a sip of your iced coffee, you leered at Robyn. “Oh, my god! Dramatic much? Have you been binge-watching Dateline again? Jesus Christ, Robyn, he’s harmless,” you countered.
“You think you’ll be so careful, but you’ll let one little detail slip, and he’ll find you,” Robyn said before taking a pull from her coffee.
“You mean, like, how I was meeting you at Two Little Red Hens at nine o’clock?”
Robyn’s mouth popped open in an O. “What the hell, (Y/N)?” she stage-whispered. “Are you trying to get yourself kidnapped and sold into sex trafficking?”
“Please,” you drew out in one long syllable. “He doesn’t know what I look like. How would he snatch me?”
“He could look you up on Facebook.”
“Without a last name?” You shook your head, no.
“What about a reverse search on your number?” Robyn asked, pushing the plate holding her scone away. “That’s a thing.”
“Perhaps, but it seems like a lot of effort for a mistake I made. It wasn’t like he was seeking me or anyone else out.”
Robyn huffed out a breath and folded her arms in exasperation. Always the protective big sister. You could tell you were breaking her down, though.
“C’ mon, Robbie. It’s all in innocent fun. I’m not saying I’m hoping he’ll turn out to be Mr. Right, but the banter is fun,” you remarked. “James is charming and witty and nice to talk to.”
Robyn shook her head once more, frowning. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
You reached across the table for her hand and squeezed gently. “Me too.” You smiled slyly, remembering last night’s dinner and Timmons gushing about The Avengers. “If not, I know how to get ahold of a couple of centenarians who know chivalry isn’t dead.”
Chapter One | Chapter Three
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Innocent hug
Dylan O’Brien x reader
Warnings: mentions of rape, sexual assault, cussing, mentions of smut, Dylan being sweet (this can be possibly triggering!!!!!!) angst
Promt: when Dylan finds you crying after an uncomfortable interview, the two of you find your selves admitting things you never thought you would say again (y’all i just, I don’t even know, I can’t write freaking descriptions hahaha)
Word count: 2712
Disclaimer: so basically the interview is for maze runner, just pretend that you play another character in the movie that was like Thomas’ best friend and newts love interest (also y’all pls send some requests)
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Not my gif! Credits to @dyobrien! <3
“Hi I’m Dylan O’Brien!” Started Dylan trying to control himself from his laughter, before the cameras had begun rolling Dylan had cracked a joke that he was still trying to recover from.
“I’m Y/N Y/L/N” you said smiling
“I’m Thomas brodie sangster” Thomas said giving the camera a small wave
“And we’re the cast of maze runner” you said still smiling, also trying to control your laughter
“Or at least some of it” Dylan added on making everyone lose it again. Dylan practically fell out of his chair, Thomas giggled and you just kept laughing. Dylan had a habit of making you laugh, it was one of the many things you loved about him. You and Dylan had been best friends since you met on the set of teen wolf. You were a guest star who was quickly killed off. You and Dylan hit it off immediately, you two just got each other. You had the same sense of humor, same interests, and generally you two just felt normal around each other. The two of you stayed connected even after you left the show. Then you were lucky enough to land another part with Dylan in maze runner. Dylan played Thomas, and you played Y/C/N, Thomas’ best friend and Newts love interest. You had become extremely close with the cast, they were like your family. Since the release of the scorch trials you and Dylan had become quite the hit. Though you weren’t together in the movie, everyone shipped it. Two years after scorch trials, you and Dylan were in another movie together! American assassin, Dylan played Mitch Rapp and you of course played Y/C/N, Mitch’s love interest. Everyone wanted you two together, and it was not secret, the two of you were constantly teased on set for “flirting”.
You were doing this interview for the release of your latest movie, Maze Runner: The Death Cure. You were very sad that this series was coming to an end, you were definitely gonna miss it, everyone was.
“So my first question is for all of you actually, out of the three of you, who is the funniest?” The interview met asked
“Dylan and Y/N are both quite hilarious, especially when they are together, they are always cracking jokes and laughing” Thomas said looking at you and Dylan
“We do have fun” you agreed “honestly though I think we are all pretty funny, but Dylan I would say wins this one” you said looking to your right at Dylan
“What can I say? I’m a true born comedian” said Dylan
The questions continued, Dylan and Thomas were asked a lot about work and their new projects, whereas you seemed to be getting the clothes questions, the personal life questions. Things like, “where do you recommend buying clothes?” “How was your trip to Italy” “what are you wearing today”. Sadly that was fairly normal.
“Alright Y/N your up again, now the buzzing question everywhere right now is, are you single?” The interviewer asked
“Yes I am single” you smiled even though you were generally annoyed inside “Im that girl at the family reunions who gets introduced to the 3rd cousins, and who always gets told by the grandmas, “see honey this is why you are still single”” you said
Next to you Dylan weesed and began laughing hysterically. Thomas again just giggled his sweet laugh.
“Well do they know the men you work with? I mean your standards must be pretty high huh?” The interviewer pushed
“Yes yes I guess they are” you said, Dylan laughed next to you
“Why aren’t you with any of them Y/N?” He asked
Your eyebrows knitted together at this question, was he really asking this?
“Well blondie over here” you said gesturing to Thomas “is taken as you know, and taken by one of the nicest people I know, so”
“Well what about you Dylan, I mean the media definitely wants you two together, you two are like Tom hanks and Meg Ryan, and hey if I were you I would totally hit that” he said to Dylan
You froze at this, wtf was this guy doing? Dylan’s eyebrows shot up and his jaw clenched, and Thomas glared at the interviewer.
“Really man?” Dylan asked, you adjusted yourself in your seat, moving your arms to cover your body, you suddenly felt exposed and uncomfortable.
“I was just kidding with you guys” the interviewer said laughing it off
“Wasn't very funny” Dylan said
“Sorry man, didn’t mean any harm” he said putting his hands up in defense
You were shaking, you had a past. A past no one knew about, a past that would be easily triggered by a comment like that.
“Maybe think before you speak next time” Thomas added
“Ya, not cool man” Dylan said
The tension in the room was deadly. But still the interview continued on with only two questions left.
After the interview everyone was checking to make sure you were ok, Dylan kept saying that he’d beat his ass and Thomas just repeated that he is a dick. On the way back to the hotel you were all staying at, the consern eventually died down. Thomas and Dylan were planning on meeting up with ki Hong and kaya at a bar somewhere. They asked if you wanted to join but you kindly refused saying that you needed some me time. They were hesitant at first but then gave in and left you in your hotel room. Once the door closed you ran to the bathroom, looking at yourself in the gold rimmed mirror. Then suddenly you were crying.
“No!” You yelled at yourself “don’t cry, stop it Y/N!” You told yourself, but the tears just kept flowing and they wouldn’t stop.
Dylan’s POV
I swear I was gonna murder that man, who the fuck makes comments like that? I knew Y/N, I knew how this was going to go. I could talk she was shaken up and uncomfortable, but she would never admit that. She never let people in, she claimed she didn’t want to bother anyone with her personal problems. Leaving her alone in her hotel room felt wrong, I knew she wasn’t okay. I could see it in her face. As we walked away from her door, down to the lobby I felt the sudden urge to go back. To run back to her and take her in my arms, stroke her hair and tell her it was ok. Then I decided that that was exactly what I was going to do.
“Hey man I think imma go back, you know how she is, I don’t think she should be alone” I told Thomas, he looked back at me with understanding eyes
“Ofcourse mate” he said nodding, “I think that is a brilliant idea”
“Tell kaya and ki Hong I’m sorry I missed them” I said already waking back to Y/Ns room
“Will do!” He responded
Then I burst out into a run, running back down the hall and to the elevator. I clicked the 6th floor and the second the doors opened I was out, running to Y/Ns door.
Once I got there I took the liberty of unlocking it with the extra key she had given me. She said it was only for emergencies, but I thought I could make an exception. I walked quietly into the hotel room, I opened my mouth to yell for her but then shut it again. I heard muffled cry’s coming from the bedroom. Shit, I hope she’s watching some random soap opera, I hope that’s not her crying.
“Hey Y/N?” I said opening the door to the bedroom
Your POV
When you heard Dylan say your name you quickly sprang into action. Because you were still in the bathroom he wouldn’t be able to see u for at least a few more seconds. You wiped your eyes and tired to put yourself together before walking out to greet him.
“Hey Dylan” you said smiling, keeping up your act
Dylan studied you, he saw your smile, but he also saw your red rimmed eyes and your fidgeting hands, he heard the slight crack in your voice and the tiredness in it as well.
“Are you alright?” He asked stepping slowly toward you
“Ya ya I’m fine! What are you doing here?” You said, way to quickly
Dylan looked at you with sad eyes, it broke him to know that you were hiding from him. “I was worried, I wanted to make sure you were ok”
“We’ll hate to break it to ya, but um you came back for nothing, I am totally fine, faaaaaantastic!” you said smiling at him even more
“You can talk to me” he said stepping closer to you again
“There is nothing to talk about” you said
“Y/N, I know you, I know what you are doing, your not ok, and your hiding it, your shutting me out again”
“Dylan you need to calm down! I. Am. Fine!” You said, he was right though, and you both knew it “you should really go have fun!”
“Y/N-“ he started before being cut off again
“I insist Dylan, please, don’t worry about me, ok?” You said smiling sweetly
“That’s a lot easier said than done” he said looking down, then an idea came to him, it was horrible and he knew you would hate him, but he needed you to let him in “but if that’s what you want, then I’ll leave” he said
“Yes! Go have a good time!” You’d aid practically pushing him out of the bedroom
“See ya later!” You said closing the bedroom door behind him
Dylan walking over to the front door, opened it, and then closed it, still standing in your hotel room. Meanwhile you were listening to hear him leave, and when the door shut you began crying again. Then suddenly strong arms were tapped around your body, pulling you in close. You jumped.
“Hey hey, it’s just me” Dylan said stroking your hair
“But-but you left” you said looking up at him confused
“I didn’t, I’m sorry angel but I needed you to be honest with me” he said looking at you in your eyes. His heart breaking into a million pieces, he hated seeing you like this.
“I-I’m so sorry” you said beginning to cry even harder
“Don’t be sorry angel, it’s ok I’m here” he said hushing you and continuing to stroke you hair. He held you in his arms and never let you go. He held you as you cried, though he was also breaking inside.
After what seemed like forever, your tears ran out and you began to calm down. Dylan still holding you close.
“You wanna talk about it?” He asked sweetly
“Not really” you said sniffling
“You know I will go back and kill That guy if you want me too right?” He said pulling away from you so he could see your face
You didn’t look at him in the eyes, though his tried to find yours
“No it’s ok, really. That guy was a Douche bag, it’s not his fault I have shit” because you had just been crying and weren’t thinking strait, those words just slipped through your mouth. Dylan’s eyes widened and he moved your chin to that you had to face him.
“What kind of shit?” He asked
“Nothing” you said
He widened his eyes saying “really?”
You nodded in response to his action.
“Come on Y/N I’m here, please just talk to me” he pleaded
You stood up and out of Dylan’s grasp. “Listen Dylan, there is a lot you don’t know about me, and it’s all for good reason, ok? I recommend leaving it alone” you said
“I have left it alone for long enough Y/N!” He said standing up as well
“Whatever Dylan” you said waving away his statement
“No! Do not shut me out!” He said walking over to you again grabbing you hands, you could tell he was getting mad, but when he grabbed you it scared you
“No stop! Please! I’m sorry!” You pleaded, Dylan let go of your hands. His heart broke. He looked at you with concerned eyes.
“I’m sorry” he said, he noticed you were shaking, he was so confused, your reaction wasn’t normal. “Please just talk to me, please?”
You sighed and sat down on the bed, putting your face in your hands. Dylan sighed, giving up he began walking away when suddenly you began talking.
“I was 20, it was the first week of my sophomore year of college, my best friend at the time was bugging me about going to some frat party for back to school, the guys she liked had asked her to come and bring a friend. I told her I had to study but she didn’t believe me because it was the first week of school. I wasn’t a party person but I gave in. We got there, and she was drunkenly talking to the guy. I only had one drink, that the guy, his name was Brandon gave me. I started to feel sick and I went to go lie down. I was not thinking strait and when Brandon offered to help me I accepted, he carried me to the bedroom and put me down on the bed. By that time I was confused but barely conscious. He um…” you hesitated, Dylan stared at u in disbelief “he rapped me, he fucking rapped me. I tried to tell my friend but she just accused me of being jealous and not happy for her, saying Brandon would never do that. She never spoke to me again. Then a year later my boyfriend, who I had only been dating for a month or so wanted to ya know do it and I told him I wasn’t ready, I lied telling him I was a virgin. He was fine with it and he said he would wait. He asked again a month later and I still said no, this time he was more angry. We fought and I told him what happened and he called me a slut. We didn’t technically break up but we didn’t really speak. I felt bad so one time I decided to surprise him in his dorm. He was there with another girl. He cheated on me. I never told anyone else about what Brandon did to me. Not my parents, not my friends, not the police.” You finished in tears again
Dylan’s heart was in a million pieces, his best friend was raped and he didn’t know about it. Ofc it was a few years before you met him but he still kicked himself for not protecting you. He loved you! He loved you so damn much. He walked and he wrapped you up in his arms.
“It’s okay angel” he spoke softly so he would scare you. He let his emotions take hold of him, he no longer had control of what he said, “I love you so much and I will never ever leave you or hurt you, I will always protect you.” He told you
You looked up, he just said that he loved you, “what?” You asked
Dylan then realized what he had said “oh um ha” he said scratching the back of his head, screw it he thought. “Ya I love you Y/N, I have loved you for a long time, and and I feel bad telling you now, I don’t wanna take advantage of you but I do. I love you and-“ he was cut off by your lips on his. They were soft, moved as if they were meant for each other.
“I love you too” you said as you smiled
Dylan let out a breath of relief and kissed you again. When Dylan met you, you were nervous about your new job next to big actors, Dylan hugged you trying to comfort you. You never forgot that hug.
You layed in his arms, and for once in a long time you felt light, happy, and safe. And it was all because of one innocent hug.
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sytco · 3 years
Text
common blessings [joochan]
pairing: childhood friend!hong joochan x reader
word count: 3.5k (!)
requested: "toothrotting fluff ft. joochan"
dedicated to @sahiflowers.
a/n: im SO SO sorry this took so long and i hope u like it even a little and that it makes u smile thank u for being so patient ily!! ily!!! reminder im always here for u!!
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In which you find that time is meaningless when Joochan is not by your side.
~
wonderboy.
-
Sometimes, you speculate whether Joochan has some kind of genius for finding you as soon as the school bell rings, signalling the end of another day.
Today, he surprises you behind the auditorium where you lean against a maple tree, hugging your bag to your chest, because you’ve skipped your last period (Introduction to Psychology) in favor of lying on the grass so you can watch the clouds in peace. And Joochan smiles a fond, fond smile because you have that look on your face again that you only get when you’re lost in thought.
“Missed me?”
You tense from shock before relaxing at the sight of your boyfriend who widens his arms so you can walk right into them.
“How’d you find me?” Your voice is muffled in the fabric of his vest and Joochan reaches up so he can play with the back of your collar.
“Just had a little hunch you might be here.” And this is the answer he always gives, accompanied with the same smug smile each time.
You pout even if Joochan can’t see it. “That doesn’t explain anything.”
“Well now,” he says in an affected voice that sounds like the narrator from that National Geographic documentary on penguins the two of you watched last week, “I can’t afford to have you getting your hands on all my secrets, can I? I’ve got to keep some things to myself so that in ten year's time, you’ll still think I’m the most amazing and magical boy in the universe.”
It’s ridiculous, you think, how it’s nearly winter but the way you can feel the laughter that starts in his chest and electrifies you to your fingertips is more than capable of keeping you warm and making you feel like you’re really alive.
“Doesn’t matter if I find out all your secrets or not,” you mumble, “you’ll always be the most amazing and magical boy in the universe to me.”
From the courtyard around the corner, you can hear Jaehyun shouting a loud “Oi Joochan!”.
Joochan ignores him and instead casually pecks your cheek with a kiss that feels like a blessing. “Always?”
You tilt your head as though unsure. "Well… for at least fifty years, probably.”
“Fifty?!” Joochan echoes in mock outrage, and you playfully poke his side to which he flinches slightly.
“I was lying. I meant for all of time ever.”
And despite him doing his best to hide it, your boyfriend melts instantly, burying his face in the crook of your neck where he’s probably smiling his brilliant smile that feels like the sun against your skin.
Jaehyun’s voice interrupts the peace and quiet once again with a noticeably louder and more panicked tone.
“Hong Joochan! We’re going to be late for soccer practice!”
Joochan groans exaggeratedly and you can’t help but giggle at his theatrics. “Wish I didn’t have to go to stupid practice,” he grumbles.
“You know, I’ll wait for you in the library until you’re done,” you offer and Joochan perks up - if only slightly because your arms still feel like heaven after years of loving you, and two hours of kicking a ball around (while Donghyun and Jibeom brainstorm inventive ways to trip each other up, much to Coach Lee’s chagrin) just can’t compete. He tells you as much in the way his arms tighten around you.
“You’re the best,” Joochan declares suddenly, “I might be the most amazing and magical boy in the universe, but you’re the best.”
You snort. “Go to practice already before Jaehyun starts going spare, wonderboy.”
Joochan kisses your forehead one last time before he detaches himself from you with a dejected sigh and picks up your bag, slinging it over his shoulder despite your protests. “Walk with me to the oval?”
You slip your hand into his hand only to find it a perfect fit and wonder briefly if there is anywhere in this world you would not walk to with Hong Joochan, the boy who has a smile like sunlight and a personality like a billion shooting stars.
“Of course.”
*
fm.
-
There is the occasional moment in which you wish that your boyfriend wasn’t so exceedingly talented in nearly every field he tries his hand at, because the various extracurriculars that Joochan (being the naturally energetic and enthusiastic person he is) involves himself with have an awful way of making tremendous demands on his time towards the end of the semester.
Right now is one of those moments when Joochan trudges into your room and dives face first onto your bed without even bothering to shake his coat off. “So what was it today?” you ask in a voice that betrays your concern and Joochan can’t help but smile at it.
“Theatre rehearsal,” he yawns, “then string quartet practice. Also an hour of soccer drills with some of the boys. Even though it’s a Saturday.”
You get up from your chair at the desk so you can sit on the bed where Joochan immediately moves his head onto your lap, lifting your hand and resting it on his hair. You absentmindedly start stroking it, staring out the window at a soft grey sky.
“Did you eat?”
Joochan shakes his head. “No time. My dumb E string broke again so I barely managed to have half an apple before we went straight into a new Mozart piece today. Think we might perform it at the next concert. You’d come, right?” And he asks that in a self-assured tone, because he already knows what your answer is going to be.
You give it to him anyway because there’s no point in hiding your blatant admiration for all that he does. “No matter what.”
“And just to see me, right?”
You fake a pause that has Joochan peering up at you suspiciously.
“You do know I have friends who aren’t you that are participating in the concert, right? Like Jangjun and Sungyoon?”
Joochan scowls. “But none of those hooligans are your boyfriend, who - in case you forgot but I do know you’d never - is me.”
“That’s quite true,” you concede before leaning down to kiss his cheek with a smile that makes Joochan’s stomach fill with butterflies which are probably colored pink and green and blue. It never gets old, he thinks: your talent for turning his world upside down in a look or a word or an action. And you don’t even know you’re doing it most of the time.
“Mean,” he accuses but in a half-hearted manner and your smile only widens because you know that Joochan is supremely happy despite his exhaustion, if the way his brow has smoothed completely and he has started drawing little stars on your knee is anything to go by.
There’s a gentle lull in the conversation while you continue to run your fingers through Joochan’s hair, and especially his fringe. It’s almost as though time has passed you by, leaving you together in your own little reality where things like hazy futures and big concerts and broken violin strings do not dare draw near.
“Wanna order something later on for dinner?” you ask quietly.
“Maybe,” he grins through closed eyes, “but nap first.”
Your radio continues to run, and you drift in and out of listening to the DJ duo while watching the rain finally fall outside.
“It’s been pretty cold recently, hasn’t it?” one of the DJs opens the conversation after a small stream of ads.
“Sure has, pal. And speaking of the cold, apparently our first snow of the season is scheduled for next week Friday!”
“So do you have any plans lined up with a special someone?”
“Just had to remind me of how single I am, didn’t you”- rambunctious peals of laughter crackle from the speakers - “but maybe some of our lovely listeners will send in their plans for next Friday.”
“I sure did - and wow, they’re already pouring in! Do you wanna read one out?”
“Let’s see… Listener ha_miii_ran says: ‘I’m planning on confessing to my crush of two years. I’m pretty nervous about this so I’m hoping the two of you will wish me luck!’ All the best of luck to you, Ha Miran-nim, from the both of us. I don’t know how you’re planning on it, but hopefully the first snow will act as a good luck charm for you!”
“Yeah, good luck Ha Miran-nim!” the other DJ chimes in. “Be sure to update us on how it goes!”
“Well, we’ll be back with some more stories after this excerpt from a famous piano concerto - maybe some of our more classically-inclined audience will recognise its globally renowned composer.”
A beautiful melody begins to play and you’re on the cusp of losing yourself in the music when you are most abruptly interrupted by a sleepy, but decisive, “Gershwin.”
You blink down at Joochan. “What?”
“It’s Gershwin. The composer. Don't you think your boyfriend's clever for knowing that?"
“I thought my boyfriend was asleep, actually,” and you narrow your eyes.
“I was,” Joochan protests, “I only woke up when they were talking about the snow or something. And then they talked about that person who’s confessing to their crush of two years - got me thinking about how I can relate because I vividly remember having a crush on you for at least three before I could muster up the courage to confess. Which ended up working out for the best, you know,” he adds in a thoughtful tone, “but sometimes I’d get so nervous just thinking about it that I couldn’t sleep at all. Anyways, I’m really hungry now, so can we order something soon please?”
Maybe it’s the way he so nonchalantly wears his heart for you on his sleeve, or maybe it’s the way he looks at you as though you have strung the Milky Way itself together and made a gift of it to him. Maybe it’s the way you simply realize that you might not be able to live with yourself if you were to lose your boyfriend, ever. But for whatever reason it is, a thousand smiles bloom in your heart and you lean down to give Joochan a kiss that hopefully tastes like everything you cannot possibly put into words.
“Anything you want,” you whisper, and Joochan draws a heart on your knee in response.
*
enchanted.
-
You’re outside the auditorium again but in front of it, this time, and not behind. The post-concert hubbub has died down, mostly owing to the fact that much of the audience has left already whether it’s to a late congratulatory supper or down to the boardwalk where fireworks are scheduled to go off at midnight. The bouquet of lily of the valleys in your hand trembles slightly as you use your other hand to fumble around for your ringing phone.
“Hello?”
“You’re waiting outside, right?” Joochan asks.
“Yeah, I am.”
“See, Donghyun, I told you I was right about - wait. Wait! Don't move!”
And then you have less than two seconds to process exactly what is happening before your boyfriend catches you up in a running embrace that sends the world spinning in a flurry of snow and stars and kisses that Joochan plants all over your cheeks. He remains blissfully unaware that somewhere in the vicinity, Donghyun has started making gagging sounds at your very public display of affection, punctuated by Jaehyun’s giggling. (You pay them no mind.)
“Did you enjoy the concert?” he asks, fond expectation twinkling in his eyes.
You nod too much. “You were incredible,” you tell him honestly, and Joochan beams.
“I was, wasn’t I?” he says in a satisfied voice as he pulls you closer. “Guess all those hours of practice paid off.”
“It’s almost like that’s the whole point of practicing,” you tease.
“It’s lucky you’re cute and I’m hopelessly in love with you,” Joochan crinkles his nose in contrived distaste for your little jab before hugging you again so he can hear you whisper just how proud you are of him, right into his ear.
And the two of you stay like that for a little before you remember the gift you brought with you.
“For me?” And the look in his eyes reminds you of how he looked at you when you first told him that you loved him too - or maybe of every time you’ve told him that you love him too.
“Who else?”
He snaps up the bouquet, pressing it against his nose and inhaling deeply with a smile. "This is a nice surprise."
"They mean 'return to happiness'," you say, gently touching a little white bloom that looks like a star against the backdrop of Joochan's black school blazer. "Thought it was cute. And the florist was sold out of roses anyway."
Joochan laughs with the warmth of a thousand sunbeams and puts your hand in his so he can start gently tugging you away.
“But your violin”- you begin protesting.
“But nothing,” he shushes you as the school gets smaller and smaller behind you in the distance. “I don’t even want to see that thing for a week. Hey, and guess what - I found a secret place for just you and me so we can watch the fireworks without being pressed up against everyone else like sardines in a tin can.”
“You and I are going to watch the fireworks?” you echo, surprise colouring your voice.
Joochan’s exhale turns into a giggle. “Who else?” And you dig an elbow into his side, hiding a smile at his antics.
The two of you stroll down quiet streets and you lean into your boyfriend’s comforting warmth. Most shops are closed with the exception of some fast food chains and convenience stores, but you notice almost none of them now as Joochan picks up the pace, his excitement bleeding into the quiet song he sings that floats up in the air and is lost somewhere in the stars above.
“Here we are,” says Joochan proudly and he helps you up into the little gazebo at the top of the hill you hadn’t realized you were climbing. “Take this,” he adds as he tosses you a torch that brightly illuminates the space you’re in as soon as you switch it on. You turn to the rustling sounds on your left, finally seeing the wooden bench that Joochan is busy spreading a rug over.
“You planned this beforehand?” And there’s a note of wonder in your voice - the same kind that only Joochan ever seems to be able to evoke. “I thought we were going straight home.”
He gestures for you to sit next to him with a charming smile and you do so immediately. “Told you I can’t give up all the secrecy. Not yet.” Or, he thinks privately to himself, not when you look at him like that.
The golden light from the torch casts long shadows over the grass and gives Joochan’s face a nearly ethereal glow that reminds you of summer sunsets despite the cold. You slip into a soft and easy silence - one that comes from memories built upon memories, resulting in a code made up of gazes and touch that only the two of you will ever understand. And so when he squeezes your hand gently, you instantly open your arms for him to sink right into.
There’s only a few minutes left until midnight when you finally speak.
“Joochan,” you murmur.
“Mm?”
“You ever think about where we’ll be this time next year?”
Joochan shifts his posture slightly. “Often, actually. Especially when I go to sleep at night and think about tomorrow - then I’ll wonder if it’ll even remotely go the way I want it to.”
“And how do you usually want it to go?” you ask.
“Someone has a lot of questions today,” Joochan remarks with a droll look on his face that makes you laugh briefly before his expression sobers. “But usually I want it to go safely. You know? Everything in its proper place and things like that. And more importantly, I want to know all the time that I’ll be able to see you.”
You’re silent for a moment, looking out over the view of the city. If you squint, you can just make out the boardwalk by the beach and the crowds of people who have gathered there, young and old alike. “I’m scared sometimes.”
Joochan frowns. “Scared of what? I’ll fight it off for you,” and he waves a threatening fist at nothing in particular.
“The future, I guess. It sounds silly but… sometimes I don’t know if we’ll always be okay. Like this, the way things are right now. Whether it’s tomorrow or next year or even after that.” Your voice fades in volume until it’s nearly lost against the threads of your scarf, and Joochan’s heart breaks a little when he hears it: the genuine uncertainty and timid fear that seeps past the smile you give him in an effort to hide it.
“Why do you think we might not be okay?”
You look down at your feet, almost embarrassed by your own honesty. “Well, people… change, Joo. They move places, and have goals to achieve and dreams to chase down. And we’re not immune to that either.”
It’s Joochan’s turn to be silent for a bit as he mulls over your words before he straightens in your hold, turning his face towards you so he can affectionately bump his nose against yours. “You’re right,” he says in a voice that mirrors your sadness, “and it would be a lie to say I don’t think about the same things you do. But”- and he leans in to give you a quick kiss that’s shaped like a smile - “it’d also be a lie to say that every dream doesn’t feature you in it. Because every dream of mine that I’ve ever had places you centre stage.”
He kisses you again, a little longer - a little more wistfully.
“You see, the real problem here is that you have me perpetually thinking that I can’t do any of this without you,” he says simply. “Whether it’s late night phone calls or early morning messages; or maybe we’ll find ourselves having to book flights for each other, holding bags full of gifts that remind us of us. And maybe it’ll be hard and maybe I’ll wake up some days, knowing I won’t be able to see you. But that doesn’t mean we won’t be okay.”
You swallow and Joochan watches you carefully, the urgency in his eyes prompting him to lift your chin so you can see it too.
“Even if we change,” he continues in a whisper, hoping you will understand the heart in his words. “And we should. And we will, and we’ll still be okay. You believe me, don’t you? Seeing as I’m the most amazing and magical boy in the universe?”
Somewhere, midnight comes and goes and the fireworks start, dousing you and Joochan in bursts of coloured light.
“Of course I do,” you smile with eyes that glitter with tears of relief and he pulls you into a tight hug, so tight you can feel every movement of his rib cage as he breathes in and out.
For once, you do not feel that fear deep down that threatens to taint your time with the only boy you think you cannot live without. And so you unreservedly hold him in return, fingers running through his hair as he tells you that he loves you, over and over again.
*
up, up and away.
-
There had been a time during your childhood when your one greatest wish had been to go see the stars.
So your friend Joochan, in all his clumsy sincerity, had done his best to make you a rocket out of a box he’d found at home. He’d then brought it to your house after he’d finished it, blue marker staining his fingertips and glitter shaped like stars lost in his thick fringe.
The two of you had sat in it together and looked up at the moon, holding hands from childish innocence and recounting thrilling tales of adventures you’d never had. And before having to go home to bed that day, he’d made you a promise that present-day Joochan complains about not being able to fulfill.
“I know I said I’d take you to the stars,” Joochan sighs in displeasure from where he lies on your bed, right next to you, “but while your boyfriend is exceptionally talented, you do know I’m no astronaut, right?”
You hold his hand in response and look into his eyes that sparkle with mirth and deeper in, shine with a love that always gives you peace.
It may be that Joochan will never be able to keep his promise of taking you to space in a real, functioning rocket. But, as you drop a kiss on his mouth that soon widens into a brilliant smile, you can’t find it in yourself to really care.
After all, it’s hard to miss the stars when for you, they all start with Joochan and end with him.
-
if u liked this please consider dropping a like and reblogging with ur thoughts because feedback is!! always appreciated thank you!!!
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kurutabaa · 4 years
Note
hi i discovered ur blog and its my new fave thing ever! may i req for a ryuji version of the "friend trying to pair up with his future s/o" thing u did? i feel like ann would fit as scheming matchmaker. (or u can pick whoever though) im such a loser for this idea, it's genius. i love ryuji so 👁👄👁 totally self indulgent
Ann Trying to Pair up Ryuji with his Future S/O!
Did I hear Ann the matchmaker and Ryuji as the matchmaker victim?! Yesyes!! I would be happy enough to do a lot more of these “Friend Pairing up Someone with Future S/O” scenarios!! Plus, Ann is the freaking best and I adore her~
(Futaba/Akira version of this scenario here!)
Ann Takamaki + Ryuji Sakamoto!
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Featuring Ann as the Matchmaker and Ryuji + S/O as her target~
As the whole “Futaba pairing up Akira and his S/O together” situation died down, Ann noticed something similar to that with you and Ryuji.
She noticed how Ryuji would act stupider than he normally was around you. How he would try to say something cool but fail horribly, the way he tried to avoid eye contact with you and how he wouldn’t dare get closer then a meter towards you.
Although Ann had no solid evidence for any feelings, she realized this was Ryuji we were talking about. She needed to get her hands dirty.
After this realization, Ann will immediately interrogate Ryuji, wether it’d be at the lockers, cafeteria, or courtyard, she needs some answers.
“Hey, Sakamoto. What’s up with you?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“How stupid are you? I’m obviously talking about Y/N, it’s pretty obvious that you have feelings for them.”
“What?! W-Where did you get bullshit like that?!”
“Don’t play dumb with me! Now, I’m gonna help you win their heart, got it?”
Will definitely somehow rope in Akira the PT Girls into her schemes. Wether it’d be for date ideas or scheming “We’re just hanging out but this is totally meant to be a date!” plans.
Depending on which person you hang out with a lot, she’ll tell them to ask you what you think of Ryuji and to tell her afterwards.
When it turns out that you do have feelings for Ryuji, she’s now extremely adamant on getting you two together.
Will either tell you or Ryuji to ask one another if they want to go out for lunch, but most likely Ryuji has to do it.
It would be the end of class, you would be unknowingly packing your bag as Ann gives a thumbs up of approval to Ryuji. He uncomfortably walks his way towards you and calls out your name.
“Ryuji? What’s up?”
“I-I was wondering if..”
He looks for help to Ann, which he now realises that the entire PT group is now spying on the two of them. Thanks, Ann.
“U-Uh, I need some help with studying, so I’m wondering if you would hang out for a bit afterschool.”
Ryuji audibly hears the Phantom Theif members sighing in relief.
“Oh! Sure thing, where do you want to meet?”
“What about the ramen shop in Shibuya? My treat!”
“Alright! We can go on the train together to Shibuya, then!”
“C-Cool beans!”
As soon as he walked away, he was internally celebrating and had the goofiest smile on his face.
Ann will assign the guys to “prep” Ryuji for their study date while she takes the girls to “help” S/O
What do the guys do to prep Ryuji? Well, everyone gives him strange dating advice, besides Akira who now has some experience in being in a relationship.
“I get it, I get it! I won’t say anything stupid, now can ya stop pestering me?”
How do the girls help you? Well, their actually a bit more helpful! Haru and Ann initiate on styling your school uniform a certain way to make it more flashing, and also attempt at styling your hair either by putting in cute hairclips or puffing it up.
Haru will also give you a pep talk before you go home!
“You can do it, Y/N! And if Ryuji-kun breaks your heart, he’ll feel the wrath of my axe!”
“R-Right..”
You meet up with Ryuji at the station, taking the train to Shibuya. It was hot and uncomfortable, being stuffed inbetween students and office workers like a sardine can sucked.
You two sighed in relief as you got off the train, then immediately losing eachother in the ocean of people.
After you two find eachother again, the both of you awkwardly agree to link eachothers arms in order to not lose eachother.
“J-Just hold onto my arm and you’ll be good, alright?”
It wasn’t as busy as you two walked down the streets of Shibuya, the two of you gleaming once you found the ramen place.
The two of you ordered your dishes and started some small talk, it wasn’t actually as awkward as Ryuji imagined it to be. Maybe he was just that comfortable with you to forget that this was supposed to be an awkward first date.
“Oh, you asked me to come here to study, right? So, what do you need help on? We have that English test coming up soon.”
“Huh? O-Oh! I didn’t actually needed to study.. I, uh..”
Yikes, he may have just dug himself a hole to confessing why he really wanted you here.
You noticed that he was hesitant on finishing his sentence, and your mind began to race. Wait, was this meant to be a date? Your cheeks flushed at his true intentions.
“Y-Y’know, if you wanted to hang out with me, you didn’t have to make up an excuse.. I-I would’ve said yes even if you asked me straightforward!”
It was silent for a few seconds, although you were in a public restaurant, it felt like the two of you were alone.
Ryuji finally broke the silence. “Y/N! Honestly, I..”
He got up suddenly, bending down onto the ground and bursting out,
“I like you! Please go out with me!”
Everyone stared at him strangely, did a highschooler just got onto the ground and confessed his feelings?
Speaking of everyone, Ann was intently watching with the rest of the Phantom Theives by her side once again. She is the matchmaker after all, it wouldn’t be efficient to leave the pair alone.
“What a flashy way to confess to someone.” Akira muttered.
“Shh! It’s gonna get good!” Futaba hushed him.
You felt embarrassed, speechless, but also quite flattered. You tried your best to look to answer.
“I-I like you too..!”
Ryuji looks up at you in shock, a blush spread across his cheeks
“F-For real?!”
You silently nod your head, while Ryuji has the biggest smile on his face. This strangely sweet moment only to be interrupted by a worker.
“Hey, kiddos, you either keep quiet or take your buisness somewhere else.”
“S-Sorry!” “Sorry!”
The rest of the date went off without a hitch! The two of you turning small talk into engaging conversations and not having a care in the world.
It was getting dark out, so the two of you went to the train station so you wouldn’t get stuck in Shibuya. Surprisingly enough, the Phantom Thieves were still keeping an eye on you two! Despite everyone else wanting to go home, Ann forced them to stay.
You and Ryuji stood in silence, the only thing you can hear is the echos of doors opening and closing, alongside the footsteps of busy people.
“Hey, Ryuji..”
“What’s up?”
You gulped, shyly fiddling with the straps of your uniform.
“Does this mean we’re dating now?”
Ryuji winced, trying to look for the right answer.
“I mean.. If you want to?”
You tried to hide the growing smile on your face, reaching your fingertips to interlock your hand with his.
“I’d like that.”
“C-Cool beans..!” He slightly squeezed your hand, his muscles soon relaxing.
[Extra]
“Well! My job here is done!” Ann patted down her uniform and grinned in pride. “I also snagged a video of this moment, too~”
“I hope their relationship goes well! We should probably leave them be now.” Haru excitingly said, her mind was running with cheesy romantic scenarios.
“Just make sure Ryuji or Y/N find it.” Akira chuckled at how prideful Ann seemed.
“Eh?! You recorded it? Let me see, let me see!” Futaba hurringly rushed to Ann’s side to take a glimpse of the video.
Afterwards, Ann will definitely tease you both with remarks of “It was so obvious you two liked eachother!” or “This bonehead here is too stupid to do it himself, so I had you help you two out.”
Ann is very happy for the two of you! She’ll prepare outfits for you whenever you and Ryuji go out and, if you’re a female, will do your makeup for you~
Dec 14 2020
Can I just say, this was so fun for me to write!!! I adore this prompt with all my heart and I hope you can tell I put my best effort into it! Please feel free to send in another Ryuji ask, this dork is adorable~
Thank you for Reading!
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fishfarmfrankie · 4 years
Text
Bakusquad as types of Relationships
The type of romantic relationship the bakusquad would have with their s/o(You)
+ Your relationships theme song bc why not
Trigger Warnings; none :)
feat. Sero, Bakugou, Denki, Kirishima and Mina 💞💕💘💝💖
Sero Hanta
Summer Fling
-Sero give me big summer energy. 
-I imagine him being that relationship that randomly sparks after you two spot each other at a beachside bar. You instantly hit it off and fall hard. 
-It’s an even combination of Lust and Love, as well as solid companionship.
-The two of you just seem to click so fast, as if you were soulmates. And since it’s the summer holidays, you two have all the free time you could ever want. 
-You spend every available minute with Sero as you two enjoy each others company, sharing ice cream, going surfing, gate crashing random parties together, getting high and just sharing the vibes. You can’t get enough of each other. 
-Kiri, Denki and Bakugou would be so confused yet surprised at how Sero was able to even approach you. And then how he managed to convince you to go out with him, only ten minutes after meeting you? HE’S SMOOTH ASF (And was probably a bit drunk 😳)
-But as Summer ends, you learn that Sero is only spending the summer holidays in your region. You follow Sero to the plane and he offers to have you go with him, but you can’t. So, as the sunsets, you watch as your summer fling Sero flies away on the last day of Summer vacation.
-Though Sero never officially broke it off with you, you think this is because it was obvious enough, but this is actually because Sero was hoping to see you again next year 🥺🏖
-Then when you try to tell all your friends about your hot summer fling no one believes you 😔
Relationship Theme song: Borderline by Tame Impala, Pineapple Skies by Miguel
~~
Denki Kaminari
Partners in Crime
-Okay so you two were chaotic enough without being a couple but THEN THE TWO CRAZIEST CRACKHEADS HAD TO GET TOGETHER AND CAUSE PURE ANARCHY AMONG EVERY STREET YOU ROAM HUH?
-Students  s h u d d e r  when they see you two roaming the halls at school. Like you’re the couple that has a reputation for causing chaos wherever you go. Whether it be stupid dares or crazy pranks you try to pull on class 1-A. UA can never get a break with you two around.
-You two are connected on a different level I swear. Like you two would be hanging out with the gang and Denki just makes a snort sound and next minute you’re both having a full conversation in rat language🙄
- Ngl there’s a lot of lust in this one 👀, the second your parents’ shoes leave the front door Denki is right there in your bed O-O
-lemme just say ‘horny weebs’. That is all good day.
-The worst thing about this is you two always seem to be together. Like Denki loves keeping you around to show you off. If you’re not physically with him, he’s showing people his phone’s lock screen and background (Which is a photo of you)
-omfg y’all tried to start up your own little podcast one time but you found that you guys were literally just laughing for 40 minutes straight.
Relationship Theme Song: Greek Tragedy by the wombats (Oliver nelson remix), Touch You (The Yarichin Bitch club theme song lmao)~
~~
Bakugou Katsuki
Secret Forbidden love/Star crossed lovers
-Okok I know a lot of y’all think that Bakugou would like to show you off and I think this is true to a certain extent, like I feel like a long period of time he would want to keep the relationship a secret in fear of being ridiculed. 
-This relationship would be filled with love, you being the only one Bakugou will obey ;)
-You two would always play little games where you try to steal kisses from each other while no one is looking. Of course no one notices.
-!Secret dates! Constantly trying to search for the most secluded cafes around. There would be tons of little moments where Bakugou spots someone like Sero and is forced to hide lol
-You’re the only one who sees Bakubabe’s soft side 🥺
-Though because no one knows you’re in a relationship you do get quite a lot of people flirting with you and this fucks Bakugou off to the max.
-One day some person straight up tries to kiss you and Bakugou rips them away from you and fuckin socks him, drop kicks em’ like a rugby ball. The person is splayed on the floor, blood nose, and shocked as all fuck, stuttering; “What the hell? what’s your problem man!”
-Bakugou is like; “STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THEM! THEY’RE MINE AND ONLY MINE AND I’M SICK OF FUCKSTICK EXTRAS LIKE YOU THINKING YOU EVEN HAVE A CHANCE WITH MY S/O!”
-No one saw that coming 🤭
Relationship Theme Song: Sofia by Clairo, Asshole by hooligan chase, LOOK AT ME! by xxxtentacion (im sorry yall 😭)
~~
Kirishima Ejirou
Power couple
-Kirishima would honestly be the best boyfriend ever. 
-Everyone shipped you two together, but was surprised when he actually asked you out, AND you said yes. 
-You two are the power duo that can do anything together. Dude when y’all are teamed up in practice fights for training no one can beat you two. Not even Bakugou. UNSTOPPABLE POWER.
-fucking dates at they gym🙄 nah but kiri’s dates are always full of adventures, like rock climbing (( ͡• ͜ʖ ͡• ))
-There is a lot of respect here, and a lot of support. Kirishima feels comfortable sharing all his insecurities about his quirk and ‘manliness’ with you, of course, he’s there for you whenever you need. Very dependable. THIS IS WHY YALL ARE SO STRONG 💪👹
-We love a functionally healthy toxicity free relationship💫🤠
-You two do tend to rival each other a lot too. Since you’re both complete equals on all levels, it’s always uncertain on who will win when you two wrestle, or even when you do take the exams. It also gives you both motivation to work harder.
-With this combined power You and Kirishima possess, you sort of become the parents of class 1-A. Helping keep students motivated n stuff. Even Tenya Iida has trouble contesting your guys’ authority over the class. 
Relationship Theme Song:  Trip by Ella Mai including Duan Yi, Sunflower by Rex Orange County
~~
Ashido Mina
Opposites attract
-Ok I’m sorry if this isn’t you but if you like Mina then you’re likely to be her opposite. I’m talking quiet kid, more on the masculine side/Tomboy-ish, you’re probably like a fucking emo (Don’t worry tho I like Mina too 😌)
-Fr though you two are fashion icons, the most aesthetic couple either.
-Mina likes to drag you to all her little social events, and although they can be tiring, being with her helped you come out of your shell a lot.
-tbh because Mina is so friendly and lowkey touchy with everyone no one even thought y’all were a couple. Like you guys didn’t really act that different to before your were a couple because she would always flirt with you before hand too.
-Best thing is you guys don’t even tell people you’re a couple now. So they get such a shock when you two start joking about kissing and then actually kiss. You two did this to Denki one time and he just short circuited. Though you have a suspicion it was more because he was turned on than from being shocked.
-Also y’all lowkey freaky as hell. Freaky as fuck. Mina brings out a different side to you ;)
Relationship Theme Song: Pretty girl by Clairo, Say So by Doja Cat 
~~~
Ayo take a shot every time I used the word ‘ Y’all ‘
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lavendersage · 4 years
Note
i saw that post from the girl who's girlfriend isn't quite ready to be out. if ur blog didnt seem to celebrate love of all kinds (and i'm not talking straight vs gay, i'm talking happy vs sad) i would have kept this to myself, but between ur response and the op's story itself, i think im going to take this chance of sharing a burden on my heart, maybe to help someone else, or just for the shot at becoming at peace with it. a couple weeks ago, when u asked for everyone to send u stories of their lovers, i wrote most of this out but didnt send it.
i (21F) am a college student (god, is this reddit?). my entire life, i have cultivated the cleanest good girl image that i could. my parents sacrificed so much for my sister and i to grow up far more comfortable then they did, so i have tried to honor them with a little golden child they could brag about. straight As, never missed school, did community service, perfect SATs. i worked tirelessly to be on-paper perfect.
one of the reasons i've worked so hard to earn Good Noodle Stars is to make up for the fact that i am terminally homosexual. i realized real early that i could literally cure cancer and the first comment on the news video will be, "okay, she cured cancer, but at least I'm not gay like she is." i could raise thousands for charity, and my aunts would still say, "our kids may not get off the couch but at least they have sex correctly." so they dont know. few people do, none outside my closest circle.
in walks Mars(21NB). Mars is an anachronism. they are both a romantic with and without a capital R. be still my Dark Academia heart.
we got very close before school broke for Covid. Mars wrote me a letter every other week, encrypted and folded so that the only way to open them was to rip a paper seam that would show if someone had tampered with it. it was intoxicating. it was the first time i felt able to communicate freely about anything. i dont know - i didnt hold back my emotions, emboldened by writing in cipher. i spent all summer waiting for those red sealed envelopes, filled with stories and poetry and honeyed nonsense, and i refused to not respond with mirrored passion.
it was all great until it set in that I was going to have to face Mars again, in person. i prayed our school would decide all students had to stay remote. of course I wanted to see Mars, i want to do much more than just see them, but i knew it would only be a matter of time between us being reunited and them asking me out.
this was a person who crafted a puzzle where the answers were flowers that were a declaration of fidelity in Victorian Flower Language. of course i ate that up with a spoon. u would have too. listen, i know all aesthetics are fads and all fads age badly, but if the cottagecore girls get to learn to sew and bake and grow, i owe dark academia for teaching me the vocabulary and actions of my most treasured relationship yet, and giving me permission to be earnest and vulnerable in this life for 10 goddamn minutes. Mars is handsome and a genius and i was not used to feeling connected to anyone. but for all that joy, i was also drowning with the thought of having to break their heart by explaining i cant date anyone AFAB.
so the semester starts. Mars asks me over for a homecooked meal since restaurants don't exist here at the end of the world. they made me a beautiful dinner with all my dietary needs in mind. just like everything else i ate it up. and i made no effort to stop them from inviting me over for food and conversation again and again and a fourth time just to make sure it really hurt.
they kissed me after the last dinner. and I kissed them back, before stopping. they apologized for moving too quickly, but i explained that they had moved at the perfect pace, just with the wrong person.
there is no nice ending to this. it's real life. Mars took it as a breakup and didnt reach out to me again. i sobbed from halloween to christmas, i swear. i'm the villain in this story.
i started this post off as a sign of solidarity to the other young lady, but now im realizing that this letter would be better read by her fearful beloved, not her. it is 4am where i live, so i apologize if this has all gotten away from me.
love is a garden u have to water yourself. ngl, my favorite part about this blog is all the posts about learning to love yourself, learning to see ur intrinsic value dispite the core facets of u that have been deemed flaws, and trust the relationship between me, myself, and i.
i started out telling myself i was writing this to help the high school kid, but i havent shared this with anyone. writing this out has helped me process a thing or two, or at least start to. i like this idea of lavendersage being a kindly cryptid who will alchemise ur heartache into calm.
i hope you dont mind if i try to make this a thing.
my story is in the shape of a love letter. its tearstained before it even hits the water. i drop it in your river and watch it float away.
y’all are breaking my heart with these stories this week 🤧i feel so sad to read them and so helpless to respond, because i know how deep that pain must run and i don’t know if there’s truly anything i could say or do to take it away. but if i can lessen it from 100 to 99, well, then i’ll have fulfilled my goal of existing on this website. at the very least, i’m glad that writing this message helped you process some things on your own, but i’m happy to share my thoughts anyway.
your mars sounds like a top tier human being. victorian flower language? i’m swooning. it’s no surprise to me that you fell for them, and they were clearly head over heels for you. folks don’t make grand gestures like that for just anyone, that’s for sure 🥺
and i’m very sad to hear about the way things ended. but, anon, i can’t help but wonder if it is indeed over, or if hope exists on the precipice of a great act of bravery performed by you--something i know from experience is much easier said than done, and something i’ve failed to do in the past, so i’m not trying to be a hypocrite here. the ball is definitely in your court, though.
also...it doesn’t sit well with me to hear you call yourself a villain. i understand why you see it that way, as it’s clear that you deeply care for this person. but for many folks...the fear of what our family will say or think or do weighs so heavily on us that it robs us of any possibility of happiness with someone who isn’t the kind of person our family wants us to end up with. i’m sure plenty of folks, myself included, can empathize with this. and i’m sure on some level, mars does too.
my love, as with all things, i hope whatever happens next works out for the best, and that you don’t let this experience darken your heart. if things change between you and mars, please feel free to drop me a note. i’ll always be here to listen 💚💚💚`
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itsamejin · 4 years
Text
the one that got away || hendery angst || part 2 (finale)
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Part 1
Summary: Some days you don’t regret the decision to leave him, but most days you do.
Warning: self-hatred, insecurities, mutual pining
Genre: angst, fluff, mutual pining
Pairing: Hendery x reader
Premise: You two broke up and that should’ve been the end of it, but he sends you a message and all of a sudden it isn’t.
Commission Request: @iron-lix​
Word Count: 4,164 words
hey, its guanheng. just got your new number lol, wanted to know if you would like to catch up sometime and talk? Idk… just text me back if u want to
You were tempted to delete it, bury it in your trash bin along with all the other concerned messages Guanheng sent you before you blocked his number. It would’ve been the right thing to do, to end any sort of contact before you could hurt yourself further. Insecurity nagged at the back of your brain, yet you find yourself texting him back anyway.
if you want
Short. Simple. Enough to get the message across, but not enough to make him think you were desperate. Did you come off as desperate? Please, don’t make him think-
omg
u actually replied!! 
how are you???
and im free on sunday 
do u wanna meet up then?
The bombardment of texts brought a sad smile to your face. It really was him. It was Guanheng. No person used question marks as liberally, no person sent that many texts consecutively. You hesitate to answer. Too much could go wrong for you to risk seeing him again. You could break down in tears and be left in the dust, similar to how you had left Guanheng just a year earlier. 
You convinced yourself that there was nothing left to talk about, there was no more closure needed. You two broke up cleanly and it should stay that way. 
i’m doing fine, and yeah i’d love to :)
Your thoughts contradict your actions and you find yourself burying your face in your hands, frustrated at how easily you agreed. What the hell was wrong with you? You blocked him for a reason, you wanted to get over him. Agreeing to “catch up” with an ex wasn’t getting over him. You would only end up missing him more after all was said and down.
What made you think that you deserved to see him after all you had done?
At a small cafe on the outskirts of Macao, you reconsider every decision you made that led up to this point. You fiddle with your fingers, wondering why you even decided to paint your nails like he’d even pay attention to them in the first place. You scratch at the polka-dotted dress you wore, cursing at yourself for wearing his favorite color- pink. You purse your lips, regretting putting on such heavy makeup to hide the dark circles that formed underneath your eyes from the sleepless night you had. You couldn’t get a wink of rest knowing you’d see his face again after so long.
You should’ve just stayed home, should’ve just blocked his number as you did all those months ago.
“Hey,” a gentle voice calls out, interrupting your negative thoughts. “Wow, I can’t believe it’s actually you.”
You look up from your lap, Guanheng staring at you with the brightest smile on his face. He takes the seat across from you hesitantly as if he still wasn’t sure he came to the right table. No one recognized him here in this reclusive cafe, but he still couldn’t find it in himself to relax. Especially with you in front of him.
“It’s been a while,” you smile sadly. Your voice was shaky and Guanheng noticed. He noticed everything.
“Did you order yet?” he asks, equally nervous, but with a large grin on his face. His hand reached out to grab a piece of paper on the table thinking it was the menu. Sadly, it was not. You giggle slightly at his awkward expressions as he slid it back to where he got it from.
“That’s the placemat,” you inform him. “They were planning to give us the menu when you came.”
He cringes at himself. ‘Why do I always find a way to fuck things up?’ he cries in his mind. Guanheng thought he could’ve introduced himself more smoothly.
“Y-yeah,” he scratches the back of his head. “I probably should’ve known that.”
You two sat in silence even as the waitress planted the menu on the table. You let Guanheng order for you, surprised he still remembers your favorite drink. You wonder if his stayed the same too.
“...and I’d like a black coffee,” he smiles widely, bidding the waitress goodbye. He sees the small scowl etched on your face, but doesn’t quite know why. He used to never drink black coffee. It was too bitter for him and he always overreacted when the liquid would touch his tongue. You couldn’t believe that had changed in just a year- just like him.
You inspect his face blankly as he chatters about something nonsensical, trying to fill in the silence that you had left him with. Guanghen’s hair is shorter now, trimmed in a way that highlighted his boyish features perfectly. He wore a dress shirt, cuffed at the elbow. He wouldn't have been caught dead looking so suave in the past, opting for comfortable hoodies and beanies so ill-fitted that they hid his eyes. You were looking at Hendery, a version of him that existed on magazine covers and photo cards. You clutch the ends of your dress. See [Y/N]? He’s fine without you.
He stops his talking when he notices your lack of enthusiasm. You used to love hearing him talk, but you looked at him with such emptiness that he wondered if his voice was grating in your ear. He stares at you too, a sad glint in his eyes. Your face, although beautiful, was tired and sunken. You had a dullness in your complexion. You no longer glowed as you used to when he was yours- or to put it in terms that he liked better- when you were his. You shake him out of his own wallowing thoughts.
“How’s Korea?” you ask, knowing he had been promoting there recently. You hear from his friends that he loves it there, that the European-esque streets of Macau got too boring for him. He liked the hustle and bustle of Seoul, the capital of entertainment and fast-paced living. “Your new album doing well?”
Guanheng is happy that you asked, afraid you had lost interest in his work after the breakup. He was so afraid you had lost interest in him.
“It’s been great!” he nods thoughtfully. “We’re planning something soon, so I only have a week here before I go back. It’s been hectic...”
You purse your lips. It must be rough on him, only getting to stay with his family for such a short period of time. Guanghen must miss it- all of this. The city, the humidity, the people... maybe not you, but maybe the memories that came with the relationship. You sure miss it too.
“How about you?” he breaks the silence, noticing that your glances were drifting off somewhere else. “Anything interesting going on in your life?”
You shake your head and give a fake smile. He hates seeing it. Guanheng would prefer for you to curse him out than for you to act fake towards him. It’s like you couldn’t let your guard down with him... and he used to be the only person you let your guard down with. This wasn’t how usually were, but then again, he hasn’t seen you in a year. Could you have changed so drastically that the sight of his face made you that uncomfortable?
“Nothing notable,” you sigh, staring past him rather than right at him. “I’ve been thinking of moving out of Macau for a fresh start, you know? Somewhere new...”
‘Somewhere that doesn’t remind me of you,’ you say silently to yourself. You see a flicker of a pained expression, but you get distracted when the waitress delivers water to the both of you. You stir the water with the straw, glad you found another distraction to keep yourself from making eye contact with Guanheng.
“I wouldn’t have an excuse to visit,” he says teasingly, but you could feel grit in his tone. “if you weren’t here.”
You blink rapidly, not quite registering his words. What was he saying?
“What about your family? Your friends?” you question. There were a lot of things that came with this city, it’s not like you were the only one living here. You figured you’d be the last thing on his mind these days. Guanheng just shrugs.
“They visit me often,” he sighs. “But you don’t. You never visit.”
He gives a sad chuckle, sipping from his cup lowly. Your mouth opens, but not a sound comes out and so you close it again. How were you supposed to respond? Guanghen sighs at your silence.
“You blocked my number.”
Your heart cracks at the sound of his voice. He played around with the straw, refusing to look at you. He sounded... sad and you wondered if the reason for his sadness was you. Weren’t you usually the reason?
“Guanheng-” “You don’t have to say anything,” he stands up straight, a panicked look on his face. He realized then that he made the atmosphere even tenser than it already was. “I’m not here with any other intentions except to talk to you. I know... I know that...”
He couldn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t know how to without sounding desperate. ‘[Y/N] I know that it’s been a year, but would you like to start over even though you might not have feelings for me anymore?’ Yeah, no way he would be caught dead saying that out loud- not when you looked at him with such emptiness.
“What’s wrong Hendery?” 
You wonder why the person with the brightest smile in the world had such furrowed brows as he looked into your eyes. And maybe that was your first mistake. Calling him by his stage name. 
“Hendery?” he scoffs.
“I’m sorry,” you say a little shocked at his angry expression. “Did I overstep-”
“Why would you call me that?” he asks with sad eyes. “Why are you treating me like I’m a stranger?”
Your last chance at getting closure and you had said something wrong that made him uncomfortable. You blew it, didn’t you? Of course, how could you be such an idiot?
“I’m so sorry I didn’t-”
“Hendery,” he repeats, still shocked at your words. “You never call me that. Not even when we dated.”
Dated. Past tense. He wasn’t yours anymore and you needed to accept that. Guanheng was right there telling you to. You were out of your mind for thinking this was going to turn out like you expected, that he would walk back into your arms without hesitation.
“I can’t do this,” you say abruptly, standing up from your seat. “Guanheng I’m sorry it was a mistake even meeting up with you.”
“[Y/N]-”
You walk past the table, feeling bad for the cafe workers that were oblivious to your sudden outburst. You took out your wallet from your shoulder bag, setting down cash to make up for the food that hadn’t arrived at your table. The worker stared at you with large eyes.
“Ma’am-” 
You were already out the door, tears threatening to spill over. Guanheng came to talk, came to have a chat with an old friend that happened to be his ex-girlfriend and all he got was an awkward conversation that showed how broken you were without him. You walk and walk, missing the bus stop that you were supposed to wait at until you hear rapid footsteps behind you.
“[Y/N] wait-”
Guanheng wraps his fingers around your elbow and pulls you to face him. You couldn’t bear to look at him, staring at your feet rather than his face.
“Just let me walk you to the bus stop. It’s dangerous for you to walk alone,” he says, the hand that was on your elbow was shaking. “I’m sorry for acting weird back there. It wasn’t even something serious and I freaked out over nothing-” “No,” you say shaking your head, pulling his hand away from you. He felt empty now that you were out of his reach. “I was the one that overreacted.”
“Don’t,” he says sadly. “Don’t apologize to me.”
You finally gather the guts to look up at him directly, but you regret it almost immediately. You notice up close that he’s still the scared kid who couldn’t believe he was called in for an audition by a massive foreign company. It makes you want to embrace him, comfort him from all his worries, and tell him that it’ll be okay. Except it isn’t. It hasn’t been for a while.
Under a flickering streetlight, you sit at the bus stop’s bench with tense shoulders. He sits farther away from you, careful of the watchful gazes from the public and any sneaky cameras around patiently waiting for him to mess up.
“I miss taking bus rides late at night,” he admits, not looking at you in fear of people watching. “It feels different somehow.”
You smile sadly.
“Yeah. We used to ride one from school together.”
He nods, biting the inside of his cheek. Words used to flow naturally when he was with you, but he had to go and mess it up at the cafe by feeling offended over something that was trivial. So what if you called him by his stage name? It's been a year since he’s last seen you- of course, you’d have been more cautious about what to call him. He was stupid, so hopelessly stupid.
“I miss the rivers too,” he mutters. “I miss those overpriced boat rides tourists would pay for.”
He chuckles sadly, reminiscing of a time when you had gone with him. When you were his and he was yours.
‘Most importantly I miss you,’ he thinks to himself, but he balls his hand into a fist before he could say anything else. You hated this, hated that he always held back before saying the most important thing.
“Guanheng,” you start, heart beating rapidly from your chest. “Why did you want to see me?”
His eyes waiver and you could see it glisten in this light. Did you say something that made him uncomfortable yet again?
“I just,” he swallows, not finding the right words, “wanted to see if you were doing okay.”
“Why?”
“Because,” he replies, “I feel like you’re doing fine.”
‘Without me,’ he screams in his head. Guanheng doesn’t notice you bowing your head or the tears that had started to form in your eyes. He was too caught up in his own tears that threatened to spill over, but he convinced himself to hold it in. 
“Well, I’m not,” you broke out with a cry, already knowing you were past looking pathetic. You let the tears fall onto your lap. He doesn’t notice at first, but Guanheng snaps his head to you, no longer caring about his surroundings. He slides closer, patting you on the back.
“What's wrong?” he asks worriedly. “Did I say something again?”
“No,” you say, looking up at him and he swore his heart sunk at that moment. Even when you broke up with him your eyes never looked this hurt. Guanheng didn’t even know he had that effect on you anymore. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Well obviously I did if you look like this right now,” he says angrily, more at himself than at you. He wipes away the tears from your eyes, but it only made you wail harder. He was still so good at comforting people, still so gentle. You wished that he wouldn’t stare at you with such caring eyes and give you false hope- hope that he wanted you back just as much as you wanted him. It wasn’t right to be feeling this way when you were the one that broke up with him. You had no right.
“I’m so sorry,” you cry out, holding onto his arms to steady yourself. 
“What are you sorry for?” he asks worriedly. His eyes, too, were turning red.
“For ignoring you when you needed me most.”
A silence falls between you two and his grip on you tightens. This was a conversation you two should’ve had a year ago. He didn’t quite know why it was being brought up now, but at least now he can ask what he’s been dying to figure out.
“Why did you block me?” he questions solemnly.  “Why did you agree to be friends and then just cut me off like that?”
You purse your lips.
“I’m sorry for-”
“Please,” he begs, hands letting go of you. “Answer me just this once.”
You try to gather yourself but fail miserably. How could you when this was potentially the last time you’d ever see Guanheng again? 
“I was scared,” you answer truthfully.
“Of what?”
You take a deep breath and sigh.
“That you might hate me.”
Guanheng tips your head to face him, a serious look on his face.
“I’d never hate you.”
He looked at you with such softness- the kind you haven’t felt in so long.  At that moment you could trust him, at that moment you felt like everything would be okay. 
‘It’s alright if he does,’ you think to yourself. If he hates you then fine, but you needed to tell him one last time. Then there’d be no regrets. Maybe then you’d have the guts to finally leave, start anew in a place that didn’t remind you so much of him, but that’s probably impossible to do because Hendery was the sun itself, and you were just you.
“I still love you,” you whisper solemnly, “and I hated that you let me go so easily when it was so hard for me to let go of you.”
His mouth falls open and you swear you see hurt in his eyes, so you turn away. Regret always came after your worst decisions.
“You thought I let you go easily?” 
A stray tear had fallen down his cheek.
“I’m so sorry I-”
“Stop being sorry,” he pleads. “I hate hearing you apologize when it was my fault too.”
You look up at him, confused.
“I should’ve fought harder for us,” he continues. “I should have told you that I loved you back then and that I could’ve made it work. I can’t believe you thought I was okay with breaking up. I said we should stay friends just so I could have an excuse to talk to you again and you kept ignoring my texts and I thought I was being annoying and-”
He always used to ramble a lot when he was anxious. Guanheng takes a deep breath and puts your hands in his. The bus was not coming anytime soon.
“What I’m trying to say is,” he mutters. “I still love you too.”
You shake your head, refusing to believe his words. He just felt sorry for you, he didn’t mean-
“I tried dating other people,” he says matter-of-factly, breaking your heart a tiny bit because you hadn’t. You never tried to venture past him because it had always been him, always. 
“Guanheng, why-”
“But it just didn’t work out,” he cuts you off, swallowing his saliva nervously, “because they weren’t you.”
You open your mouth to speak but he cuts you off again.
“I sent you text after text asking you to take me back,” he sighed sadly. “But I never sent them because I knew you wouldn’t even see them anyway. I told the guys about you and they said it was a lost cause, that I should move on.”
“But you didn’t,” you whisper, touched by his words. Guanheng shakes his head.
“I didn’t,” he smiles as he intertwines his fingers within yours. “And maybe it’s messed up to say this, but I’m glad you didn’t either.”
You laugh with him, the tears dried by now. You look at him, his eyes crinkling  so beautifully as he smiles. 
The bus came seconds after under the flickering street light where you two share a chaste kiss. His lips tasted the same and you can’t help but grin.
It was still him. It was still Guanheng.
He walks with you, his hand bumping into yours one too many times that he just held yours in his. It didn’t feel real, being so close to him again. Maybe you had gone through hurdles to get to where you two were now, but at least he was back where he wanted to be- by your side. You two talk about anything and everything and let a comfortable silence fall in between you two when there wasn’t a need for conversation. 
Guanheng asks you what you watch recently. Netflix documentaries. You ask him what songs he listens to nowadays? You cringe when he says Justin Bieber. He laughs when you laugh, walks at the same pace as you, calls you pet names. It’s like he never left, but you knew that in a week from now, he will leave. And maybe you’ll go back to wallowing in your own sadness again.
You’re already at the steps leading to your house, but he refuses to let you go, so you let him inside. He smiles at the lack of change.
“My stuff’s still here,” he says in awe, picking up the small robot figurine that was propped up on your coffee table. You fluster at his words.
“I didn’t have the heart to throw them away,” you mutter. He smiles at you.
“Do you still have my clothes here?” he asks. You panic.
“Oh, do you want them? I can go-”
“So I can stay the night then, right?” he asks seriously. You wonder if he thinks himself a comedian. You punch him in the arm with a puff of your breath.
“We haven’t even seen each other for more than a day and you-”
“Not like that,” he chuckles, realizing what he had implied with his statement. “I just want to sleep here. With you. Innocently. 
You stare up at him, unconvinced.
“Aren’t you worried that I’ll get kidnapped?” he whines, giving you those puppy dog eyes that you missed so much. You miss him so much.
You click your tongue at him, walking to your bedroom as he follows right behind. You scathe through your closet, pulling out the comfy clothes he always wore. You could never admit to him that you’ve been sleeping in them for the past year since he was gone. He takes them from you.
“Then I’ll go change,” he says with a cheeky smile. You roll your eyes, getting dressed for bed as well. Guanheng takes a seat on your bed and lays down next to you. He watches you silently for a while before he starts stroking your hair.
“Move to Seoul with me,” Guanheng jokes casually. You take him seriously for a second, but notice the Cheshire grin on his face and decide to play along.
“I don’t know anyone there,” you pout, squeezing his hand lightly.
“You know me.”
You roll your eyes.
“You know that’s not enough,” you scoff. “I need a job, I’ll miss my family and-”
Why were you taking this so seriously? Your face heats up with embarrassment. How could you let yourself be carried away by his simple teasing?
He smiles at you, patting your head softly.
“Then, I’ll just keep coming back to visit, I guess,” he replies. “Unless you’re still planning to leave?”
You pondered for a bit. You did need a change of view, a change of pace. You had spent a year in this apartment wallowing in self-pity. It wouldn't be so bad to move somewhere new, would it?
“If I go to Seoul,” you start off hesitantly, “What does that mean for us?”
He looks at you, confused. The atmosphere had turned somber without him noticing.
“What do you mean?”
You hesitate to ask, still confused as to where he stands. Dating an idol was hard, you knew that. Did he?
“Will I be your girlfriend again?”
He scoffs.
“I thought that was a given.”
You smile, but there was a hint of sadness in your eyes.
“I’m not good at being there for you, Guanheng,” you admit. “I have so many flaws and you have to put up with so many of them-”
“You put up with mine,” he says, inching closer to you. You shake your head.
“I’m not a good girlfriend.”
He shoots you a glare, pulling you into his arms and burying his face into your hair. Guanheng hated in when you talked about yourself like this.
“You don’t have to be,” he says. “I want you to be [Y/N], not just my girlfriend. You just have to be okay. I want you to be okay.”
You feel the prick of tears in your eye and nod into his chest. You need to trust him. You have to.
“I’ll try,” you say, drifting off into sleep. “This time I’ll try.”
And this time he won’t let go.
A/N: Super hard writing this because it’s been like uhhhh more than a year, but I’m glad I got to do it. Thank you @iron-lix​ for commissioning this and being so sweet and patient. I hope this was up to your expectation! Check out her blog for cute WayV fics!
I’ll be starting on my drabble game after I finish my last two commissions. Writers block is starting to get to me guys, so I’ll try to pace myself better in these next few days. Again thank you to everyone for being so kind in your messages and asks to me. I really feed off the positive vibes, you guys really know how to make me feel special T^T
give me a coffee?
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xsecretblastsx · 4 years
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1x08 - Seventeen Candles
It took me longer than intended (again) but here’s the recap for this episode, which is another of my all time faves. 
Once again posting under a break because this got way too long. 
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Thoughts I had while watching the episode:
The start of this episode is hilarious. There’s being melodramatic, and then there’s Blair Waldorf, guess that’s what happens when one surrenders their virtue to a self absorbed ass. 
Seriously the way she describes the whole thing to the priest is so funny. Also 20 minutes? wow girl. Thank god he’s a total pig who will act as if it never happened... yeah
Vanessa? Serena. To be honest I wouldn’t put it past him
One wants to be open minded and be kinder and objective with characters I hated the first time around, but God Vanessa is so annoying
Blair coming out of the church, exchanging her little facinator for those glasses, “one week of danger” playing in the background is just one of those scenes that really got stuck in my mind, girl’s killing it
“Would you consider avoiding me over breakfast?” this is so one of my fave scenes of them, it sets the mood so much. 
Nate’s parents are so patronizing 
Remember when mp3 players were a thing?... somethings never change though, like parents having to deal with teens isolating themselves via earphones.
I still don’t like the Vanderbilt Ring, also llike “im not asking you to get engaged son, but please give your girlfriend this engament ring” and the way Anne say’s it, Nate’s mom is such a pro at emotional blackmail.
Blair jumping around in her room, thanking God because her boyfriend bought the diamond necklace, aww. Also this is so relatable, the jumping around obviously, not the diamonds.
I sort of have a soft spot for Chuck standing akwardly behind the door not knowing how to deal with his best friend..,this is such a disaster waiting to happen and I’m loving it
Smooth Chuc, hiding the little gift back before Nate notices it (gotta confess I didn’t notice he did this the first time around, oh the pleasures of a rewatch)
Typical, your best friend that never pays attention for once is catching up on the little facts, like you shouldn’t know he broke up with his girlfriend
Though... If the town car was waiting for Nate to take him to Victrola, and it’s Blair the one that ends up using, shouldn’t have Nate realized that Blair and Chuck saw each other last ninght
The good old days when Chuck cared only about three things “Money, the pleasures money gave him, and Nate”, and even then when he’s saying it, is already kind of a lie.
He may have his own agenda, but yeah regardless Nate did needed to put a stop with his parents 
She’s been in like three episodes and she already has invated herself to like two UES parties already, wow Vanessa.
“you wish, no you wish” and then the butterflies!!!!! This is a scene that admitedly I’ve seen more than once already and I love it every time. Chuck’s a delight here.
The real first of one of those shared moments of Jenny and Nate... the fist tase I would said.
“Blair about Vanessa being like This is such a problem” you don’t know the half of it.
That little wage was so pointless, as if Chuck would have left Blair alone.
Watching them play guitar hero is making me so nostalgic.
“You didn’t tell her?” she may say it wiht a smile and innocent eyes, but no Vanessa, I don’t buy it, and it was bitchy.
You get grosser by the minute, and you get older” :’) also, that’s a really pretty cake.
Happy Birthday B! What a bitch
Nate finally growing some spine and putting a stop to his parents manipulations.
Seriously how pretty is that necklace. Also I’ve never really thought it but Blair probably wore that dress (which I love) and her hair up because her previous call to the jeweler.
Serena’s face in the end is prceless is just like “oh god no, what a mess”
I missed Lily
Honestly 1x07&1x08 are some of my favorite episodes in the whole series. And this rewatch hasn’t changed that. While 1x07 is in some ways the turning point of the show, this is the first episode that Chuck and Blair are one of the main plots, and since the start it doesn’t dissapoints.
One of the things I love about this episode is how teenage-ry it feels. The focus of the episode is typical teenage drama: break ups, hook ups, a bit of jelousy between the girlfriend and the best friend. Made me a tad nostalgic, and much more interested in the storylines involving the young cast. In part because I honestly don’t care about the Humphrey family drama, and by this point is obvious how shitty Nate’s parents are. Also there was no rufly which I’ve enjoyed a lot the past few episodes.
So, this episode is the one where the little animosity between Serena and Vanessa comes to an end, and it just shows that in the end Serena is very understanding and also really friendly, I do like that it never actually evolves into a catfight, seriously is a shame to see girls fight for a guy, worse if the guy is Dan Humphrey. There was also Nate and Jenny, which I enjoyed because this was the first real tease of what could be between them... it’s also the moment where Nate finally decides that the best for him and Blait is to break up, so far my main issue with Nate is that he lacked the nerve to really do what he needed to do, from breaking up with Blair to standing up to his parents, he does both this episode. Finally
Obviously Chuck and Blair were my favorite part or the episode. Lowkey is a very telling episode about how they see each other, and their eventual dynamic.
One side there’s Blair. Beyond how hilarious it is to see her confessing at church after sleeping with Chuck Bass, one line in her tirade is quite interesting: “he’s a pig who will act like it never happened”. If one thinks about what we been showed of Chuck so far this is in many ways a very logical conclussion. To Blair’s surprise he does no such thing: he seeks her out for breakfest and it’s clearly no interested in pretending it never happened, he’s actually embracing it, Blair wants to go back to how things were before; the only life she knows
Sure last night she realized that her relationship with Nate had reached it’s end, and that there was much relief in that because in many ways her failing relationship with Nate was a constant reminder of all her insecurities, and that relief led her to just be and do whatever, and what she did well that wasn’t on the plan at all. “No one of my friends would understand” and I guess in a way she doesn’t understand her impulses either, and Blair doesn’t deal well with change, and so she goes into denial mode, and that means gaining her boyfriend back.
And so the episode goes and we see her on and on trying to grasp to her Nate once more, and Chuck is constantly there telling her basically two things: 1) let’s do it again because what happened yesterday won’t leave my mind, and that’s weird and 2) accept reality, in this case you and Nate are done. She stubornly holds to her ideas until everything crashes around her, and once it does Chuck’s still there, and she finally sees him, listens and gives in. And just like the song last episode in retrospective is almost a preview of how their relationship is going to play out, their behavior this episode is also a preview of what ends up being a predominant dynamic their whole relationship, the details and circunstances are going to vary, but Blair’s going to hold with eveything she has to what she believes her life should be, the script she wants that it’s probably best without Chuck and him trying to prove her wrong and that best option is them.
Whereas Blair’s actions are consisten to what we know of her so far, Chuck’s actions doesn’t. So far he’s been a giant asshole to all the female population, a self absorbed womanizer who once he got wanted is like “thank u, next”. Sure he and Blair are close friends but still, to him sex is just sex and she knows how he is, that’s why he asked her if she was sure. That’s what we know and what we could have expected of him. Instead he seeks her out, and when he rejects him, he still doesn’t hesitate her and he goes out a buy hers the gift she’s expecting from her boyfriend. Who happens to be his best friend
From the episode where Nate gets tricked by Carter we learned how loyal Chuck is to Nate and that their friendship is really important to him. And yet he doesn’t hesite to try to stir him far far away from Blair, sure the advices he gives him is good for Nate but he says more in the vain of keeping Blair single rather than in Nate’s best interest. Chuck schemes,we know but up until now it was hard to picture him scheming against him.
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The more interesting bit for me is however the first scene between him and Blair at the balcony; not only because it points to the fact that these characters are equals “you forget who you’re talking to, so do you” but mainly because of the answer he gives when Blair ask him if he likes her, he doesn’t denies it he even admits to having butterfies and sure he claims he is ashamed and suprised by it even bactracks a little but it’s a very quick admission anyway, and it makes me wonder the why of it. Why is he so eager to explore this? It’s not his style and if he wanted only sex he knows he could achieved that easily some where else
It’s obvious they had chemistry between them, and that in itself may be a good reason, but to me it’s probably because on some subconcious level he liked her even before this. It’s not that I picture him pining for her in the background for her waiting sadly for the day she dumped Nate, more like he was lowkey always fascinated by her, on the earlier episodes there is more than one shot of him in the background watching her closesly, with a knowing smirk and amused by whatever she did.
So there’s this girl he finds interesting, extremely atractive, and also a close friend that he gets along really well to the point of being the one he takes to see his first business venture, and know she’s unattached and he also enjoyed quite a lot having sex with her, and for the first time he really stops to think about it and it’s quite obvious there was something there, fluttering, he’s just noticing it now because he can.
That scene where he gaves her the necklace he has being somewhat in smarmy mode before but when he see she’s hurt he tries to make her happy and as honest as he can be, last episode when it was just a dare between friends he tells her she’s ten times hotter than the dances, this episode he says “something this beautiful deserves to be seen on someone worthy of it’s beauty” the diference in sentiment is amazing because now there’s feeling behind it, and it’s such an honest and tender moment, this is the moment when the posibilty of Chuck and Blair finally takes root in both their minds (also that shoulder kiss is one of my favorite details ever through the show)
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For the longest time I didn’t believe he felt something for her pre limo, but the more I think about it especially the way things happen later, for him to be that into her since the first moment and how it hit him when things went wrong it had to be because it was something he had felt in some way for a time, he’s not surprised because he felt something for the first time, I think he’s surprised by how much and because he quite can’t believe it’s a possibilty, this something he never dared to really think about.
Random bits:
Silas was the creepy monk in the Da Vinci Code right?
They actually used the demo version of “one week of danger” in this episode, I’ve heard the actual finished one, but I’m ruined and prefer the demo one.
Search TM, because we can’t use google’s name
Falling like Britney at the VMA’s, it’s hard to think that was so long ago.
I love Serena’s dress, chic and comfy. 
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foolgobi65 · 4 years
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careful man’s careless daughter
@philtstone prompted: Anne/Gilbert babysitter au fake dating prompt #5 let’s go laydees “you have the emotional capacity of a brick. that slate I broke over  your head.” (we’re pretending people still use slates now....american schools have no money...its possible ok) 
k so i was trying to figure out how to work in the babysitter + fake dating and ... like a flash the plot to this old telugu/tamil movie i love missamma/missaimaa came to mind -- its not quite the same because they’re two people pretending to be married so that they can make money as school teachers/live in tutors for a wealthy family’s daughter but it works just enough that i decided to roll with it lol. 
this technically isn’t the actual babysitting, nor the fake dating which I actually turned into a fake marriage lol, but i hope u still like it, even though it is all over the place and a general wreck because i wrote it straight through without any editing or thought towards pacing/characterization bc i havent written in forever lol!! im not even sure what the time period setting is lol, and i dont think my translating of the anne events into a semi modern day even works but w/e lol. 
u are the truest of friends, the light of my life, and have certainly heard more than your share of my mental breakdowns both in the last month and the last few years lol. u deserve all the good things, all the good fic, all the time. 
title is a perversion of a tswift lyric because it came up on youtube. if anyone wants to send in prompts from here
---
“You owe him how much?” 
Anne sighs, crossing her legs to hide how uncomfortable she is in this moment -- here she is in the park, fifteen thousand dollars plus interest in medical debt for Marilla’s eye surgery and being hounded by Roy Gardner, ex boyfriend apparently turned loan shark who was on his knees proclaiming both love and loan forgiveness should Anne just accept his proposal. 
Here Gilbert Blythe is, sitting on a park bench after two years without contact, watching the whole thing. 
“Marilla doesn’t have health insurance,” Anne says, eyes on the ground as she uses the toe of her shoe to grind a leaf into the sidewalk cement. “Even when I was teaching, the union plan didn’t let people add parents on as dependents.” She sighs. “With everything happening with the farm, she couldn’t afford to put money towards a plan and so when her eyes got bad....” 
For a moment, there is silence. Anne can almost hear Gilbert’s jaw clench “That’s just wrong.” 
Anne laughs, and because her eyes are averted she doesn’t see Gilbert flinch. “That’s America, Blythe.” 
“Well,” she hears him say, tone just dripping with what Mrs. Rachel would call the Blythe Stubbornness, “It shouldn’t be.” 
She won’t ever admit it, but there’s something Anne has always found deeply compelling about Gilbert when he gets into these moods -- all righteously indignant in a way that Anne feels inside of her own body. Or felt, before Matthew died and left behind debts not even Marilla had known about, and Marilla’s eyes worsened around the the time Anne was let go from her teaching job and even if she had had the job it wouldn’t have mattered, she knows, but still. Beautiful, wonderful, beloved Diana had offered to help, of course she had, but Anne knew that Fred’s business wasn’t yet where it should be and that the parents Barry were still unimpressed with their son in law to be’s financial acumen. So she’d had to go to Roy, who had of course lent his beautiful Anne the money, and of course had arranged for Marilla to be treated at the best hospital in Toronto, of course had set them up in the apartment of a friend of his right in downtown where the rents were a thousand maybe two per month. He’d popped the question for the third time the second Marilla had been released back into Anne’s care. 
Almost as if he can hear her thoughts, Gilbert speaks -- “Gardner shouldn’t be harassing you like this either. Who ever heard of charging interest on a loan to a friend? And what on earth does he think he’s going to take from you if you just don’t pay?” 
Anne burns. This, she hasn’t told Marilla, nor even her darling Diana. For some reason, it seems alright to tell Gilbert. “The farm,” she mumbles.
Gilbert snorts. “I’m sorry, I must have misheard. Are you saying that Roy Gardner, heir to one of the biggest fortunes in Boston and your ex boyfriend, took your home as collateral on a loan for money you needed to pay for your mother’s surgery?” 
Anne says nothing. She still hasn’t looked up at him, hasn’t been able to meet his gaze since she sat down on the bench and told Roy to get up off his knees and wait two months for either his money or her affirmative answer. She blinks, having mercifully forgotten that Gilbert was present for that last bit. She hopes he’s forgotten too. 
“And wait, before he left you said....” No such luck. “Anne!” Anne’s sure her entire head must be flame as she closes her eyes, bringing her knees up on the park bench and burying her face into her own lap. “Anne you said you’d marry him if you couldn’t get the money!” 
“There’s no debt between spouses,” Anne mumbles. “We’d get to keep the farm, and I wouldn’t ever worry about Marilla’s health again.” 
“But you don’t love him!” She doesn’t know if she’s ever heard Gilbert sound so scandalized. 
“I used to!” she tries to retort, but even Anne knows that her voice betrays her when she tries to speak this lie. “I used to think I was,” she amends, “and maybe that’s as close as I’m allowed to get -- he’s rich, handsome, he even loves me! What more could I ask for?” 
“Coercing you into marriage, demanding interest on money that we all know is just pocket change for someone like him...that’s not love,” Gilbert Blythe responds, with all that....that all-knowing Blytheness in his voice that Anne has hated since she was 13 years old and the new kid in a class of people who had always known each other just as easily as they had known themselves. “Love is selfless, Anne, strong and kind. It makes you better for giving away your heart, even if the one you love doesn’t give you theirs in return.” 
Gilbert Blythe, always acting as if he knows something Anne does not. He speaks as if he’s been in love, at some point over the years since he was last in Avonlea and for some reason Anne absolutely burns with that knowledge. Ooh she just hates him, now at 24 just as easily as she had at 13! 
“And what exactly is love worth if it means I just lose the farm trying to pay for Marilla’s surgery, and still have nothing for the next time she’s sick?” Suddenly Anne is on her feet, hands on her hips as she glares at Gilbert looking quite alarmed as he still sits on the bench. The words she has kept locked on the inside, too private to even be written in a diary, come pouring out in one big rush:
“Three of my four parents are already dead, Gilbert Blythe.” Her voice hitches, to her horror, her sudden fury vanishes as she has to blink away the tears she has kept at bay since she and Marilla buried Matthew. Damn Gilbert, for bringing this out of her as well. “I can’t...I couldn’t bear to lose anyone else.” Her lips thin, and with a breath, her voice steadies. “I don’t care what you, or anyone else thinks about my choices if it means that I can take care of Marilla.” 
Gilbert’s eyes have the sheen of his own tears when he stands, his own lips wobbling just slightly. “I...” he swallows. “Of course, Anne.” Something Anne recognizes as self hatred passes briefly over his face, but she doesn’t understand. “I wish I had money like Gardner to give you, I really do.”   
Anne gentles, even if something inside her twists to be the object of the long-old guilt mixed with pity, much less Gilbert Blythe. Since Matthew’s death, every person in Avonlea it seems has sat with Anne and Marilla and offered their deep condolences, their absolute shock at the pair’s financial state of affairs, how much they wish they could help but sadly cannot, what with the way the bank’s collapse has hit their own finances. Only families like the Gardners survive economic crashes with money to burn. 
“I wouldn’t have taken it even if you had,” she offers instead, shrugging casually. 
His eyes flash. “But you took Gardner’s?” 
“I thought he loved me!” Anne closes her eyes, somehow feeling her cheeks flush even deeper. This is why she’s avoided all mention of Gilbert Blythe so strenuously since high school graduation, because more than anyone else he is the one who drags out the words she is always learning to keep inside. Here he is, somehow pulling confessions Anne hadn’t even dreamed of telling Diana, confessions that make her seem small, and stupid, lost in a world so much more complicated and treacherous than she can handle all on her lonesome. 
Well, she thinks, in for a penny -- 
“I thought he loved me,” she says, “and that he had the money to spare. I didn’t realize...” She looks away again, so that she never has to see him react to her folly. 
“Oh Anne,” Gilbert says, for some reason so soft and stricken that Anne’s knees go weak with her sudden desire to fall to the ground and weep. “You deserve so much better.” 
And now she’s angry again. “What would you know about what I deserve?” Anne spits, “you haven’t even been home since you started med school!” Vaguely, Anne thinks that Gilbert hasn’t been home since she and Roy had gotten serious, serious enough for her to bring him to Green Gables and show him the place that had been her very first love. Coincidences can be so strange. 
“It doesn’t matter,” she says, glaring again at the ground. “None of this matters. I’m just going to go home” Anne clenches her jaw, knowing that when she gets back to Green Gables she will go into her room and play every excruciating part of this conversation back in her head, again and again until she throws up or passes out at dawn from sheer exhaustion. Maybe both, if she’s lucky. She leans back slightly and manages to turn around on her heels, a trick Gilbert Blythe had always pulled at school and had had girls thinking he was so cool.
She’s five minutes away from the park bench when suddenly she hears him call out her name. 
“Anne,” he shouts again much closer, bending at his waist to balance his hands at his knees as he pants. “God, it really has been two years since I was on the university football team.” 
Despite the roiling emotions of five minutes ago, Anne’s lips quirk. “I can’t imagine you all practiced very much to end up near the bottom of your league every year.” 
Gilbert’s eyes widen, and for some reason he flushes. Maybe he’s so out of shape that it’s from exertion? “I didn’t realize you kept up with my matches.”  Ah. Anne, it seems, will experience nothing else but one long sustained flush as long as she is in front of Gilbert Blythe. “You know,” she tries to say casually, “you hear things here and there. Diana told me the village gossip.” 
Gilbert opens his mouth, but then suddenly shakes his head, like a dog trying to dislodge water from its fur. “I have...” he frowns. “I have a proposition for you.”  Anne raises what she hopes is an elegant eyebrow. “Oh?” 
He grimaces. “There’s a boarding school, a Catholic one, that’s asking for teachers over the summer for a few of their select students who want to be coached for college admissions. Essays, standardized tests, everything. They’ve got heaps of money, and are willing to pay salaries up front. Plus, they cover all your expenses while you’re there!” 
Anne blinks, feeling the beginnings of hope gather as kindling at the very dredges of her heart. Once, both Anne and Gilbert had competed so well against each other that they had both gotten into Harvard. Then, Matthew had died, and Anne decided she could just as easily get a teaching degree at the state school and stay closer to Marilla too. Gilbert alone had had the distinction of being the first from Avonlea to reach such heights, and had reached even higher when he had been accepted again to Harvard Medical School. 
But at one point, both Anne and Gilbert had taken their SATs. They’d both written their application essays. They’d both gotten in. Anne, even, had been offered a full ride compared to Gilbert’s only partial scholarship, so there could even be an argument that of the two, Anne had been the one on top. 
And if nothing else, Anne is even better at teaching than she was at taking tests. 
“I’ll do it,” she says firmly. “Where and when do I need to report, and how much money are they offering?”  For a second, a bright, dazzling grin paints Gilbert’s face. “Really? Ten--” he coughs, “Twenty thousand.” Anne frowns. 
“Each?” It sounds like a dream come true. Five thousand more than Anne needs, and paid upfront. She could save the farm, and put away five thousand towards the farm’s debts. “That sounds....exorbitant.”  He nods, suddenly more confident. “Yep! Twenty thousand for sure.” He laughs. “I know Gardner was supposed to be slumming it at state school, but you really can’t be surprised at how much money rich people are willing to throw at a problem.” 
“The problem being...their children.”  Gilbert’s grin turns wicked. “The problem being their children’s SAT scores, and lack of compelling anecdote to base an admission’s essay on, yes.” 
Anne laughs, wicked in this moment as well. She wishes in this moment, fiercely, as she has many times over the last few years, that she had been able to go to university with Gilbert at her side -- as the friends they had slowly begun to be after years of one and two sided enmity, before time and distance had turned them into near strangers. She doesn’t regret staying back, not really, but there is a part of her that no one had ever understood half as well as Gilbert Blythe, who had, after the Harvard interest meeting, drawn and pinned up a schedule for practice SATs that took into account both his and Anne’s often conflicting life schedules. 
“What’s the catch,” she asks, grinning when Gilbert chokes “come on, Blythe, there’s always a catch with offers like this. Is it across from a waste manufacturing plant? Is the principal a pervert?” 
Slowly, Gilbert Blythe is turning red. “Ah,” he says, shuffling like he never did even when he was an errant schoolboy. “Well,” he says, and....is that his voice cracking? 
“Gilbert,” Anne says, trying to reassure him, “I grew up in the foster system, I can handle much worse than bad smells and pervert principals, I promise.” 
He frowns. “It’s not that,” he says slowly, “but basically they’re looking for two teachers, a man and a woman to manage the boys and the girls while the rest of the staff go on vacation.” 
Anne smiles, trying to ignore the jolt of her heart at the thought of an entire summer with Gilbert, studying like they used to but as friends. Her old dreams, finally coming true. “That’s perfect then, you take one job and I’ll take the other! It’ll be like old times, kind of.” 
He smiles faintly, as if, even after locking horns with the best and brightest at Harvard, Anne is still the person he wants to be trading barbs with over the heads of high school students for months on end. “I’d like nothing better, he says, except...” 
“Except?” 
Gilbert inhales. “ExceptTheSchoolWillOnlyHireAMarriedCoupleSoThatTheyDon’tHaveToWorryAboutOutofWedlockSexorTeachersHavingSexWithStudents.” All in a rush, and now Gilbert is the one who can’t apparently handle eye contact.
“What?” 
“The school,” Gilbert says to his shoes, “since it’s Catholic, and also since they’re lazy, only want a married couple so that they don’t have to have anyone watching to make sure the teachers aren’t having sex with the students. Or each other.” 
Anne blinks. “But we’re not married!” 
Gilbert grimaces, opening his mouth, but then just biting his lip. They could be, Anne thinks, only a tad hysterical. Only all of Avonlea was matching them up all the years of high school, and even the years after until she’d met Roy. It would be so easy to get a certificate. They could get a divorce by September, even annul their marriage since they definitely wouldn’t be having sex. 
Twenty thousand dollars. 
“So what you’re saying,” Anne says slowly, her lip curling of its own accord “is that after all that talk about what love is and isn’t, and telling me that I shouldn’t marry Roy for the money he’d give me, your blockheaded solution is instead, for me to marry you?” 
Gilbert looks up. “Well when you put it that way--”  Anne sees red, even as she already sees herself in one of her old white lace dresses, standing with Gilbert at the courtroom and signing. “Gilbert Blythe I don’t believe you! Sometimes, I think that you really do have all the emotional capacity of that slate I broke over your head!” 
“I know,” he says tone heavy with something so sad that Anne’s hearten softens a bit of its own accord. “But you really need the money, and I promise we’ll get a divorce by September.” He smiles, but there’s something bitter at the corners that Anne has never seen before -- she almost raises her hand to rub the strand of emotion off his lips. “And you’re not the only one who needs the money. Will you do it?” 
Twenty thousand dollars. The farm, Marilla, an end to the eternal pity of Avonlea. And also, a small part of her suggests, an opportunity to finally spend time with this new Gilbert Blythe who went off into the world and left her behind. 
She sighs. “I vote that you be the one to tell Mrs. Lynde.” 
17 notes · View notes
aaronhart93-archive · 4 years
Text
discord II text Roman & Aaron
Discord thread featuring: Aaron and @romanbeckett​
Mentions: @davieslandon​ @malakhai-ozera​ @jayceelynd​ @alison-haynes​
Where: Aaron is at his house and Roman is at his house.
When: evening of May 26th-monrning of May 27th, 11:30p-2:30a
Description: Roman texts Aaron and they talk all night until they both fall asleep
Trigger Warnings: smut, what I would imagine harry’s peen to look like, really cute shit
Roman.
Hey.
Aaron.
hi
Roman.
Khai broke up with me, so. With us.
with Jay and I. And he left.
Aaron.
oh my god...im sorry Ro
Roman.
Can’t say I didn’t see it coming.
Aaron.
what did he say? Like why...?
Roman.
He told us that he loved us but needed time to work on himself or whatever.
Aaron.
I don’t know Khai that well but it does seem like he’s got a lot of shit to figure out
how are you doing with it?
and jayc? Should I reach out to her or....does she not know we’re talking
Roman.
you can talk to her if you want. I think we both just don’t really know how to feel to be honest.
Aaron.
im sorry
i hope he's okay
and i hope you and Jayc are okay too
Roman.
don’t be lol honestly Aaron, I set myself up for it the second I agreed to close myself off, knowing all of the issues I need to work through as well
contrary to popular belief, I’m far from having it all figured out.
Aaron.
that makes two of us
that was quick tbh
Roman.
Yeah. I just feel like an idiot.
Aaron.
what no....thats not what i meant
Roman.
anyway.
how are you
Aaron.
okay....no please dont feel like an idiot. its his fault not yours
im....okay....getting better than i was last week
miss you though not gonna lie
Roman.
I miss you, too. A lot.
Aaron
:(
im sorry
idk why i am i just feel like i need to apologize
Roman.
you have nothing to be sorry for lol at all
if anything, I’m sorry.
for bringing you into all this drama
and making you eat at a Chinese buffet lol
Aaron.
making me eat at a Chinese buffet is the only thing you have to be sorry for
also
i inserted myself into this mess as well. and didn't pull out once i realized who you were to landon
Roman.
does it make me immature if I laugh at you saying you didn’t pull out once?
Aaron.
RO
YES BUT IM HERE FOR IT
Roman.
I might just be high, but now I can’t stop laughing lol
Aaron.
sksjks
im sober and laughing so
well not sober
i had a few drinks
Roman.
everyone knows you’re a lightweight Aaron, stop tryin’ to be sly lol
Aaron.
who you callin a lightweight, lightweight?
Roman.
only when I haven’t eaten anything LIGHTWEIGHT
Aaron.
https://tenor.com/view/uncalled-gif-5394176
michelle tanner voice
Roman.
You miss me. Just a reminder.
Aaron.
you miss me
another reminder
Roman.
I’m not the one calling you rude lol
Aaron.
you called me out for being a lightweight and i retaliated
forgive me
Roman.
you’re in denial is what you are :fingerguns2:
but I’ll forgive you.
Aaron.
idk you'd think for how much i drink i'd have a higher tolerance
i need therapy
Roman.
probably lol I’ll go with you
Aaron.
lol couples counseling?
jk
jk
Roman.
I actually think it would be quite funny to see what they have to say about US
Aaron.
i need a therapist to tell it like it is
then again i do have ali
that woman calls me out on my shit literally daily
maybe shes just a free therapist
Roman.
LMAO that’s...amazing. I like her already.
Aaron.
she do be driving me up a wall
but
shes family
Roman.
Ah, family. I’ve been trying to get my sister here, but she’s being an ass lol
Aaron.
asshat
who wouldn’t want to move to New York
Roman.
satans demons.
Aaron.
exactly
whats keeping her from coming?
Roman.
she’s not as hellbent on big cities as I am lol
Aaron.
weird
city life has always been for me
arent you from manchester? is that not a big city?
Roman.
it’s not New York lol
she lives in the country now though.
Aaron.
no city is new york
Roman.
exactly lol
Aaron.
what are you doing
besides getting high
Roman.
I’m naked on the couch eating cherry gilato while watching good mythical morning on YouTube
Aaron.
i would very much like to be naked on a couch with you
Roman.
I painted my nails and did a facial first lol i could do yours as well
Aaron.
ill take the facial
i couldn't pull off the nails though
Roman.
you’d look so kickass with some black nails
Aaron.
you think?
Roman.
hell yes. Even a sky blue, like those eyes
Aaron.
i blush
maybe we can try the toe nails first
in case I end up hating them
Roman.
OH, I’m also trained in Swedish massage, head to toe. If you want a personal spa day
Aaron.
that would just give me a boner
Roman.
well, it’s a FULL body massage after all.
Aaron.
sksjsks
dont tempt me
Roman.
Aaron. I just.
is it bad that I don’t want to stay away from you anymore?
that’s a dumb question
I know it’s bad.
Aaron.
its not dumb
I don’t want to stay away from you either
but I promised Landon
Roman.
I know. So did I.
You’re right, I’m sorry.
Aaron.
he’s my best friend
dont be sorry
im glad you’re being honest with me
I just don’t see Landon being okay with this anytime soon
Roman.
I know! I know. He’s mine too, and I care about him more than I care to admit. I shouldn’t be like this.
Aaron.
damn this is fucked up
Roman.
I shouldn’t have said anything
Aaron.
I wish this could be easier
im the one that started with the boner references
Roman.
Not really. I offered you a massage
Aaron.
okay yes but
I told you I wanted to be naked with you
Roman.
because I said I was naked
Aaron.
I just don’t want you blaming yourself that’s all
Roman.
I know, but it is what it is. I made a mess of everything, and now everything I had is ruined lol I deserve it.
Aaron.
Ro
I’m sad you think so little of yourself
Roman.
I don’t. It’s just consequences. I made bad decisions, and now I have to deal with the consequences. That’s all. It’ll all be okay.
Aaron.
I wish I could make you feel better
Roman.
you already do. I promise.
Aaron.
I just smiled
Roman.
show me?
Aaron.
sure
Tumblr media
Roman.
omg bad idea my heart
Aaron.
oop
Roman.
you’re so fucking jahshsbzjdndjendj
Aaron.
AKDJDJAKALhdja
Roman.
I’m mad at you
for looking like that
Aaron.
Well i can’t stop thinking about u
Roman.
let me just
Tumblr media
Aaron.
yeah I kept drinking
and as we’ve established I’m a lightweight
okay I showed you a selfie now you should be a selfie
Roman.
oh yeah? Trying to boss me around again are ya?
Aaron.
do what daddy says
Roman.BOTToday at 2:02 AM
yes daddy.
Tumblr media
Aaron.
brb gotta go jack off
Roman.
stoppppp
Aaron.
not kidding
Roman.
you don’t need a better picture than that to do the deed
??? Lolll
Aaron.
I mean....you could send me some
Roman.BOTToday at 2:09 AM
Does this help?
Tumblr media
Aaron.
holy fuck
ugh I wanna fuck you so bad
and put all of you in my mouth
Roman.
I want it too. I shouldn’t, but I do. I want you to fuck me with my hands tied behind my back, and you pulling on my collar from behind.
Aaron.
fuck don’t put those thoughts in my head or I’ll act up
I wanna tie you up so bad
and punish you for being so naughty
Roman.
I’d want to call out your name so loud, but you’d have to let me.
Aaron.
you can’t do anything without my permission
Roman.
I’ll do my best daddy. You know I like to make you proud.
Aaron.
Ro I just came into a sock so hard
I want you so bad but the fact I can’t have you makes that even hotter to me
Roman.
forbidden fruit, hm?
Aaron.
you’re my forbidden fruit for sure
Roman.
wish I could have been there to help
Aaron.
you did enough helping trust me
Roman.
are we terrible people lol
Aaron.
I know
we are
im trying though
so that’s gotta count for something
Roman.
I hope it does, for both our sakes lol
Aaron.
if this doesn’t work out we can always be together in hell
Roman.
that sounds like a rightful ending
at least I’ll be tan.
Aaron.
we’ll both be hot and tan chilling in hell together
and we can fuck all we want
Roman.
sounds like the next big Netflix series.
Aaron.
could you imagine a Netflix series about us
Roman.
no, I’m scared to lol it would be more insane than Tiger King
Aaron.
you think our lives are more insane than Tiger King?!?
Roman.
scary, right??
Aaron.
thats definitely...quite the comparison
Roman.
I would have loved to have seen your face watching it for the first time
Aaron.
watching that together would have been so fun
I can picture us watching that and freaking out together
Roman.
maybe one night we’ll trip acid and watch it again
Aaron.
confession I’ve never tripped before
Roman.
whaaaaaa
do it with me!
Aaron.
I mean yeah I used to do a lot of coke when I got drunk and sometimes still do but that been the extent of my drug use
hahaha I will trip with you, Roman Beckett
Roman.
aces! Just tell me when and where, and it’s a plan!
Aaron.
”aces”
but yeah let’s do it this weekend
Roman.
I’m British you knob. Shut up lol
Aaron.
I know MATE I was making fun of you
Roman.
sends long audio clip making fun of Aaron’s New York accent
Aaron
brooooo
I do say that though
Roman.
I know, I’ve listened to you talk enough
it’s cute though
ready for bed?
Aaron.
just about
I was gonna go to bed a while ago but wanted to keep texting you
Roman.
same.
tuck me in lol
Aaron.
do u want me to tell you a bedtime story
Roman.
yes, but make it snappy
and I want warm milk
Aaron.
damn
so bossy
but okay
Roman.
you know I’m spoiled.
Aaron.
that must’ve been my fault
okay Des like this one:
By the African river, know as the Nile The sun fell away and it rested a while The rhinos had braved all the smoldering heat They lay down to sleep as they wiped off their feet The elephants marched to their elephant beds And gently they rested their elephant heads Slowly the hippos sank into the river The water so cold that it gave them a shiver (Hippos can't swim, like the pelicans think They also can't float, they could easily sink) The hippos went bathing in cool, shallow pools Thinking the rhinos and elephants fools Underwater, they fell to the soft river bed On darkish green plants with a smidgen of red They strolled on the bottom, then bounced up for air They did it for hours, without any care The fish followed closely, and wove in an out Under their belly, and up to their snout Each of the hippos came up to the shore To feed on the grass by the river once more They dried off their bodies by shaking and stomping And took bites of grass, chewing and chomping With night fading fast, they were full from the feast The sun returned back, rising up form the east The hippos crept off to collapse for the day While rhinos and elephants got up to play Enjoying the warmth of the sun and its light Never knowing the story of hippos at night
just read it in my New York accent you’re so good at
goodnight Lois
Roman.
that was perfect. Goodnight Clark.
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bladekindeyewear · 5 years
Text
Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 15 - Candy Page 34
==>
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John finally decides to let the relevance of his story end, and enjoy that he’s made at least some of his other friends happy with his choice.  Time to read Page 34...
VRISKA: Pfft, yeah, wh8tever. I’m basically Immortal, bitch.
Preeeetty sure you’re confusing yourself with one of your parents.
Pff, actual healthy kismesis with a Tavros?  Wow, we’re getting all sorts of redemption by not-really-Vriska proxy here.
HARRY ANDERSON: he’s always getting all weepy whenever i talk to him anyway. HARRY ANDERSON: i don’t think i could have taken another round of him choking back tears while apologizing to me about “what happened with me and your mother, harry.” HARRY ANDERSON: i mean, god. he’s not even fucking DRUNK when he does this. HARRY ANDERSON: that might actually be the most embarrassing part.
.......
Okay, having grown up with a father who suffered from serious depression and would break into tears embarrassingly easily, uh.  I can relate?  But also fuck you, that’s inconsiderate.
--Dammit, new Vriska is catching wind of old Vriska.
Vriska and (Vriska) both start shrieking at a pitch John’s only ever heard one time before. It was a sound that once accompanied the end of everything. A sound once heard the night he dreamt in anime.
Oh that’s brilliant.  If the entire Candy arc ended here it’d be great, though I know it’s not quite over yet.
==>
...Oh shit, we actually get to see what happens immediately next.
Interesting introspective thoughts!  Or, trying her best NOT to be introspective and failing.
Oh my god, SHUT UP Gamzee.  Vriska, just kill him already??
PFFF HE SENT A PIC OF IT TO KARKAT :D
Pfff.  Yeah, Vriska, TRY and ignore what just happened and how it was almost entirely your idea.
(Vriska) is so furious, she has no way of pinpointing the exact moment her intent stopped being intimidating him into silence and started being guaranteeing his silence, forever.
Thank FUCKING goodness, PLEASE kill him.
YAY he’s dead! :D  (Even though he’ll probably revive anyway because bullshit.)
Heheh. NOW we get a cross-Vriska heart to heart.
==>
Alright, a bit more John moping.  Man... this Candy section is a whole lot easier to swallow AFTER Meat than I imagine it would have been before.
.....heck.  EITHER of these epilogue branches are really fucking hard to swallow the first time around without the other’s context.
Oh huh, it’s his house from the Medium then?  Relocated and stuff?
Jake, hm.  Is Jake going to try and leave his son with John like that failed kidnapping in reverse or?
Jake snaps the elastic on his pair of red underpants. It’s the only thing he’s wearing.
Oooookay then.
JAKE: She had a certain way she liked me kipped out and well, i didnt want to bring anything that belonged to her when i left. Nothing she er, might miss. TAVROS: You took me,
Jake winces.
TAVROS: And,,, you took you,
Jake’s wince deepens.
Oh, so that’s what this is!  Jake fleeing with his son from an abusive relationship.  About gosh darn time.  .....geez, how bad did it get for JAKE to finally muster the gumption to do that himself after all these years???
Jake is one whole wince now
I know THAT feeling.  Or at least feel like I do.
John you dedicate your life to keeping this child happy
JOHN: it’s just been kind of a rough forever.
:C
JAKE: Maybe you should blame me? JAKE: Maybe i need someone to blame me. For once. JOHN: ...huh? JAKE: I think im starting to realize that ive been going through life with the mindset that nothing has ever really been within my control.
YES.
This is how Vriska broke Tavros way back in the comic, by constantly denying him agency.  Jake’s been battered down the same way too, and it’s not too late to pick up the reins.  He’s already DONE that by finally leaving his genocidal wife.
There’s a bit of Page of Hope-yness to this whole disastrous Candy timeline, come to think of it?  People fulfilling others’ desires out of obligation constantly, doing what they think others want?  Roxy, Jake, Dave and Karkat... all fucked over at the aggressive whims of more active folk, rolling over when they really shouldn’t have?  Or in Roxy’s case, her CHARACTER basically SHOULD NOT HAVE IN THE SLIGHTEST?
JAKE: Havent you ever wanted to let someone make the tough choices for you?
Huh.
Or maybe he is doing exactly what Jake has always done. In a certain light, isn’t ascribing all this mess to some unconscious influence he might have had over the metaphysical shape of reality just a way to brush off his simpler failures as a man and a father?
Yes.  You can act and change this too, John.  You almost did with the kidnapping before!  Go and take down the new Batterwitch.
Hm, Hopey thing?
JAKE: John. JOHN: yeah? JAKE: Take my hand. JOHN: what? why?
Oh shit.  Are they going to be able to FIX some of this BS with some sort of hopey thing??? :D  Probably too much to hope for but still!
Being flung from Jake’s orbit of Hope and Change
Pffff.  Had to throw in an Obama didn’t you.
...Oh.  Oh wow.  Oh we get to figure out what the fuck was up with Roxy all this time.  Oh boy.
JAKE: So what if it doesnt change anything? Wont it matter to your family to see you care? JAKE: Wont it make you feel better to try?
:D
Heheh, Hope aspecty stuff.  The ability to believe that something matters even when you “know” it doesn’t.
==>
...Yeah, it’s pretty easy to relax on a dead Gamzee.
Oh cool.  These Vriskas are alike enough to bond!  New Vriska is still in her teenage unbalanced go-for-it stage, and old Vriska has been knocked down a peg by the clown incident, putting them on a close enough level to not want to instantly disown each other, unlike old Vriska and ghost Vriska.
VRISKA: The Mayor’s dead, dude.
HOW did the Mayor die?!??  Did I just FORGET that from the end of Homestuck or something??
(I mean, probably.)
Callback to the clouds in that first Jade dream John had.
(VRISKA): Or may8e the truth just makes me kind of nervous. VRISKA: What “Truth”? (VRISKA): Don’t tell him I said this, 8ut, I think John is just an extremely powerful 8eing. Even when he sucks. (VRISKA): And he certainly does appear to suck in this reality. (VRISKA): And yet, the uneasy feeling is there. (VRISKA): It’s a vague feeling I’ve had in the 8ack of my mind for a long time, 8ut it really hit me when I was talking to him earlier. (VRISKA): It’s distur8ing to think a8out that much power 8ottled up in one stupid nerd who’ll never understand it. VRISKA: What Power are you even talking a8out? VRISKA: Like, lame Wind Powers? (VRISKA): No, I mean... (VRISKA): The power to shape reality. Even without intending to.
FUCK did he really cause all this??? Even the Roxy shit?!???  D:  D:  D:
It’s being left vague but it IS sounding like John was actually RIGHT about all that stuff.  FUCK, if the “villain” who messed up Roxy is actually just John’s subconscious...  :C
Even if the epilogue ends right here, though, with John about to call Roxy, I can imagine it working out, though.  It’s on a right enough track there.
(VRISKA): I’ve spent so long caring so much a8out what other people thought of me. Mainly that they saw me as important, or making a “difference.”
Mhmm mhmm.  Light n stuff.
Yeah, realizing that importance isn’t ALL that’s “important” is really, um.  Important.  Ahem.
Hm, other Vriska, that smile had seven pairs of dots, not eight.  :?
(VRISKA): The POINT is, I was so mad at her. (VRISKA): That happy ghost version of myself, who was free of everything. (VRISKA): I was pro8a8ly mad 8ecause she got to 8e who she really was, without stressing a8out it, which is something I never felt like I was allowed to have.
Indeed.
(VRISKA): I guess I mean there’s someone specifically I fell out of touch with, who it feels like I’ll never see again.
Too bad, only ghost Vriska got her reunite with ‘Rezi.  :P
(VRISKA): On some level I knew she was right. She was happy and honest with herself. And that’s what made her... (VRISKA): A version of myself who was actually worthy of someone I cared a8out.
Yyyep.  As I said.  :)
VRISKA: You’re just talking a8out The Girl You 8linded that one time, aren’t you? (VRISKA): Ummmmmmmm.
Heheh.  Yeah, you’re not going to hide that sort of thing from your sharp near-clone.
Oh cool!  She gets to see all those messages and feel turboguilt or something.
...oh shit.  Is a message going to actually get to her?  It-- oh shit.  Didn’t Terezi have her phone buzzing in her pocket and ignored it in the end of Meat or something?  Or at SOMEONE did and I thought it conspicuous but it didn’t get addressed in that side of the story and-- FFFFuck is she eventually going to see it or??!  D:
She’s GOT to have seen it before running all the way off with villain Dirk, right?? D:
==>
Okay.  You seem to be thinking clearly, Roxy.  What’s going through your head? Give us some answers.  Don’t fuck this up too much, John.
but she knows by now that it’s not her job to make him happy. That was something she gave up on years ago. But wanting to? That feeling is still as fresh as it always was.
FUCK was this all just a placid feeling of obligation to make John happy for all he did to ensure victory or something??? D: D: D:
She’s still working through what she feels about distancing herself from Jane
Yesssss
If he’s truly about to be real with her for the first time in forever,
Gosh fucking DARNIT John, you could have fixed all this DECADES AGO if you had a real talk with her ONCE!!!!!
ROXY: the more i thought abt it the more i figured holdin on to that one thing made me lose out on some other shit ROXY: u might relate JOHN: haha, you got me there i guess.
:c
JOHN: i’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how things got to be like they are. JOHN: i guess i’ll just come out and say it. JOHN: i completed fucked up your entire life. JOHN: i’m not going to pretend like there are two sides here. it’s my bad, totally. JOHN: like, not just what happened to our marriage, though it’s also true that that’s completely my fault. JOHN: but even before that... JOHN: i think i fucked up on just this massive, fundamental level, and it’s what i did— JOHN: or, well, what i didn’t do— JOHN: that caused every stupid bullshit thing about the way this world is.
...Huh.
That may not actually be true, and Roxy might be about to prove how self-absorbedly reductive that is.
ROXY: oh nah ill stop u rite there my man
Okay YES.  If this wasn’t him, then SET HIM THE FUCK STRAIGHT.  :D
She knows more than he does, and she doesn’t need to hear it.
TELL US TELL US TELL US
YES TEAR INTO HIM he’s wanted that for so long stand up for yourself and tell us what the fuck happened and why
He’s been looking at her, really looking at her, and she doesn’t want to blink, just in case that shatters it.
Yes because he was looking for the real Roxy that would call out his BS
JOHN: i used to be so angry that you wouldn’t tell me what you really thought, before. JOHN: not like i wanted to FIGHT fight, but like. JOHN: i’m just not used to this flavor of roxy. ROXY: hm ROXY: sounds to me like u just disproved ur own hotshot theory then genius JOHN: huh? ROXY: you wished i was one way the whole time we were married ROXY: but i wasnt
YES!!! Yes his theory’s disproven!  He never WANTED Roxy to just act that way, he wasn’t the cause of this, I was hoping for that!  :D
ROXY: i was bad at standin up for myself then and im learnin to be good at it now
D:
That’s....... sad, if that’s the explanation.  But it’s better than mind control I guess.  :(
JOHN: but... JOHN: you were never like that before i... ROXY: dude ROXY: where tf do u get off trying to decide what is or isnt me being “like me” enuff ROXY: do u think ppl stay the same their whole damn lives or what
Oh wow.  Now Andrew’s slamming SLAMMING of fanfics.  He’s saying “who are you to know for SURE that they wouldn’t act that way”??  That’s pretty good.
ROXY: i like the way things turned out just fuckin fine ROXY: so maybe u could stop wastin precious eternity thinkin ur so special that its ur fault everyones not perfectly happy
:’)
Mhmm, and they’re free from the heroic design arcs or what have you.  Or... were, until Dirk tore them back in again.  Tossed aside their fucking victory with his selfish... ugh.
Mhmm, Roxy’s the perfect person to explain that not being in a canon, Light-filled timeline isn’t really a bad thing.
ROXY: i just do things the best way i think to do em and then shrug n hope it works out?
Roxy thinks about time and the spirals of choice that hang just outside her periphery, and the vertigo grows.
Good advice, and hm.  Maybe there’s some Void sight kind of playing into this as well, making it easy for her to get paralyzed by indecision and she’s had to learn to work through it.
...Ooh, that was a really cool non-binary gender diatribe in the narrative text.  That’s some nice stuff.  I felt like that was missing from the Meat side, glad we got it here at least.  :D
JOHN: there’s literally nothing to do but keep moving forward. JOHN: i may as well not be a big fucking downer about it if i don’t have to be.
Thank goodness.
YES, JOHN SHOWING HIMSELF STRAIGHT-BACKED FOR HIS SON!!! :D
Man, I wish my dad had done that instead of all the other shit he did.  At least he’s dead.  :)
(Here’s a hint in case you’re wondering why I was relieved when my Dad offed himself.)
But that’s off topic.  Let’s wrap up this epilogue already!!
==>
Page 39... only three or so pages left, right?
Pff, Karkat’s keeping them safe.
Heheh, more shitty Liberty statues.
Heheh, using them for weapons caches.
Gosh I hope they actually love each other and are mostly happy.  Jade seems happy, at least.  :(
Dammit, there go the doubts.  He wouldn’t have had those doubts with Karkat. :C
He’s standing in the Oval Office of the White House.
Oh heck yes.  Please tell me...
And over there... is something he doesn’t quite recognize. It doesn’t seem to fit in. He steps closer to investigate, wiping away at the layers of moss and dirt to reveal a surface he most certainly does recognize. It’s a transportalizer.
YES
Dave doesn’t waste any time. You don’t find something like this in the Oval Office and start agonizing over whether or not to use it. He steps on the platform, and in a blink his surroundings are completely different. The centuries of overgrowth are gone, and he appears to be in some sort of crypt, boxed in by walls of smooth, golden stone. At the far side of the room, something is hanging on the wall, encased in a sort of display. It’s a mounted god tier costume, about the size an adult male would wear. He recognizes the symbol. It’s the same one Jake used to wear when they were teens. It is the symbol for Hope.
HELL FUCKING YES
YES OBAMA
OBAMA: Hello, Mr. Strider. OBAMA: I’ve been waiting a long time for you to show up.
Dave’s jaw hangs open. The legends have been confirmed. As well as several key headcanons of his. Without thinking, he drops to one knee and bows his head.
DAVE: m... mr president DAVE: its an honor sir
Man, forget my past stomach clenching.  Forget my hesitations, my turbulent emotions, all the ups and downs the various facets of these Epilogue chapters have given me.  THIS is the best.  THIS makes it all worth it.  This is the best thing to have ever happened, and if I ever feel any regrets about ANYTHING that transpired in the Epilogues, I’ll feel infinitely better the moment I remember it gave us THIS.
The most beautiful scene I’ve ever witnessed.  All my liberal, economy-ranting hopes and dreams confirmed.  It’s glorious.
OBAMA: Come on now, Dave. We can’t be having that. OBAMA: I’m nobody’s king. I’m a democratically elected representative who took an oath to serve his country and his people. People like you, Dave. OBAMA: If anything, I should be the one bowing.
OBAMA.  I MISSED YOU OBAMA.  I CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE THROUGH YOUR TEXT AND ITS SO COMFORTING AND UPLIFTING
DAVE: mr president what i mean is im a huge fan of yours and i hope this doesnt sound fucked up but on some level i feel like ive been waiting my whole life for this moment?? OBAMA: I know, Dave.
Yes, yes you have.  Yes, we can.
OBAMA: Most people thought I was gone. But I was keeping an eye on events. OBAMA: Wouldn’t miss it for anything.
I, too, would like to have the feeling that Obama is still out there, keeping an eye on things.  Watching, smiling... providing some last background of Hope as things seem so temporarily sour.  That feeling would be amazing.
...I mean he’s still alive IRL, sure, but not Obama watermark smiling lovingly from the sky or anything like it should be.
Yes, back to reading.  Back to this glorious, definitely canon moment.  The moment we learned that Obama was with us the whole time.  :’)
DAVE: sorry if this is nosy but if you didnt die when you disappeared then how did you die OBAMA: Most of that is classified, Dave.
Pfffffff  :D
OBAMA: When I was a boy living in Hawaii, on my thirteenth birthday I was visited by a mysterious stranger. OBAMA: He was an older man with a mustache. Kind of a corny, old-fashioned, adventuring type. He tried to convince me we were related. Of course, I thought he was full of shit. OBAMA: To this day, I’m not sure about that. Maybe he was. I didn’t think much of his tall tale at the time, but what did pique my interest was his story. OBAMA: He was voyaging all over the Pacific looking for a mysterious island, which supposedly had all the answers he’d spent his whole life searching for. OBAMA: During his travels, he set up outposts all over the ocean to help with his search. Such as one near where I lived as a boy. The outpost had a laboratory, an archeological dig site, a network of underground tunnels, the works. OBAMA: One time, I snuck in there and did some exploration of my own. Somewhere in the maze of underground ruins, I found a transporter pad, just like the one that brought you here. OBAMA: It sent me to a new realm. A place they called the Medium.
Grandpa Jake of Earth A, thank you SO much for bringing us this gift.  The gift of Obama.
OBAMA: Hey, why don’t we take a walk. You’ll have a chance to collect yourself. And there’s something I’d like you to see.
:O :O :O
I am shivering with anticipation.
Ah, leave it to Obama to help Dave with the final steps of his character arc.
OBAMA: Are you sure that’s all he is, Dave?
FIX THINGS OBAMA!!!! :D :D :D
Wait, what if Obama can turn things into an actually legitimate DaveKatJade?  That would be a miracle only a god of Hope could pull off.
OBAMA: I’ve had my share of doubts about all that, just like any other man. OBAMA: And I’ve had plenty of the same kind of struggles as you, Dave. DAVE: wait DAVE: you...
Obama nods, smiles wistfully. Dave arches his eyebrows high above his shades. They stare at each other, and in the look they exchange, they seem to say all that needs to be said between two grown men on the matter.
:’)
OBAMA: Believing is the key to understanding the truth underlying the words, the truth underlying the ideas they represent, and the truth underlying who we are as individuals. OBAMA: The power of belief, the power of Hope, that’s what endows that which is intangible, ephemeral, or uncertain with a sense of reality. OBAMA: It brings focus to the insubstantial, the mirages of the mind, the multiplicity of what is possible, of what could be, and isolates it—concentrates it—to turn it into that which is. OBAMA: And the result of that, Dave, is what we call truth.
I didn’t think we’d be learning more about the Hope aspect straight from the mouth of Barack Obama.
OBAMA: He taught me about many things. Combat, philosophy, life, love... DAVE: love??? DAVE: hold on are you saying DAVE: that...
PFFFFFFFF :D :D :D
OBAMA: She’s settled happily into the specific. That’s her path now. OBAMA: All of you have embraced that life, in this safely sequestered version of planet Earth. OBAMA: All of you until now, Dave. OBAMA: This is why you’re here. OBAMA: I believe you’re ready to wake up. DAVE: ...
:O
...this is suddenly possibly going to be getting slightly sad isn’t it.  D:
--Oh shit, so THIS is where Davebot came from.
How is he going to break things off with Jade though???  D: D: D:
...Oh my GOSH he’s just going to suddenly vanish and abandon her isn’t he.  D:
...alright, merging with his other selves, et cetera...
It defers to its greatest knight, risen anew.
Yeah that’s nice but am I supposed to pretend you’re going to say goodbye to Jade offscreen or
--ah that’s why the bot didn’t have shades, gotta use the genuine Stiller ones
==>
Page 40, and the start of this sounds a lot like the Postscript.  But we’re getting more this time, thank god.
ARADIA: when i watched as everything broke apart ARADIA: and got swallowed up by the black hole ARADIA: which is where i ended up too ARADIA: that black hole... ARADIA: thats basically you right JADE: yes. ARADIA: and when you speak of your brother ARADIA: thats lord english JADE: yes. ARADIA: and hes dead JADE: not just yet.
Oh shit.  John’s final blow didn’t kill Lord English did it.  Alt!Callie is going to strike the very last killing blow herself isn’t she.
JADE: lesser beings have so much trouble perceiving divinity in the uncanny.
Divinity?  Like, Lollipop-style divinity?  I mean, I guess this IS the Candy branch...?  But what made this so “perfect” to begin with?
JADE: this world, unlike the canonical horrors from which it is hermetically insulated, will always fail to meet the combined criteria for truth, relevance, and essentiality that would endow this realm with any real gravity. JADE: its own naturally occurring supply of gravity, rather than the artificial supply i have given it. JADE: as such, what transpires here is characterized by experiential frivolity. JADE: physically, it is cordoned off by the black hole’s event horizon. it is safe. untouchable. JADE: inescapable. ARADIA: that sounds ominous
Oh.  So this outside-of-canon timeline-verse whatever that Candy takes place in is like a trap?  For Lord English to be trapped in forever, inside not just his OWN story like we thought before but into a place where he’ll be forever irrelevant, while, like... the “Prince” and others following him for pursuit or camaraderie reasons manage to escape somewhere even different?  --No wait those people are OUTSIDE this place, in the “real” timeline/universe of Earth C. So Dirk’s destination is somewhere completely different; oh, and alt!Callie is the only one with the power to escape the black hole, to bring Davebot and Aradia with her back to quote-unquote “canon” or the closest thing to it to bring bastard Dirkbro down.
Or... something.
JADE: one could describe it as a phantasmal projection confined within my horizon. JADE: it was created by a choice that made it possible for that horizon to expand infinitely, to consume infinitely. JADE: and since that choice could not coexist with canon events, this place manifested to here to support its consequences. JADE: if this world were capable of anything either essential, relevant, or true in some stable combination, then it would perpetuate a corrosive paradox. JADE: as such, insulation from what is out there, and the inescapable well it rests in, is what protects all it holds inside. JADE: and since i am the embodiment of the black hole in which it rests, JADE: i am the one protecting this world.
Oh huh.  So when we saw alt!Callie creating the black hole out of the Sun, she was actually using John’s “choice” and his timeline split to engineer the paradox that drove that singularity’s expansion?  And so she’s going to be the lord and safeguard of all that is Non-Canon, and also seek to guide the heroes trying to save what IS Canon?
Hm!
JADE: physical destruction is one thing. JADE: obliteration of the entire canvas for all of reality over a given cosmic span is another. JADE: and yet there are even more insidious forms of destruction and subversion of life to consider. JADE: methods that are difficult to grasp for those on your plane.
Yep, destroying Heart.  Destroying Soul.  Destroying the uniqueness that drives individual agency and choices, and suborning people completely to your will and ideals without their consent or choice.
Hmm....
JADE: but longer stories have the power to draw consciousness into them. they possess arresting and hypnotic qualities which can be used by their tellers to alter the awareness of the listener.
Yep, like a biased narrator with their claws on the > prompt for characters.
JADE: i brought to your attention that the story you were listening to had a speaker with a specific identity. JADE: and where there is an identity, there can also be an agenda.
Yep yep.  And by commandeering the story to his own agenda, Dirk’s been robbing everyone of a fundamental right to their own existences.
JADE: this is the sort of corruption i now must dedicate my existence in this new body to ending once and for all.
Heck Yes; returning the narrative to as objective a speakerless-ness as can be attained or simulated, and divesting the bias from agenda’d narrators that can wrest all control from the participants in a story, enslaving them and making them the author’s puppets instead of true to themselves as characters, people, etc.
--Oh my GOSH, was Dead!Jade eating the remains of Lord English at the end of that Postscript???  She was, wasn’t she?  :D :D :D
That’s pretty fucking awesome.  And a pretty fucking fair fate for him to get cannibalized by his sister.
JADE: consume his body. JADE: absorb his essence. JADE: and then using this host, i will generate enough power to move beyond the staggering pull of the event horizon encasing this world. JADE: a prison of my own making, which can be escaped only through the supreme unification with my other half. JADE: it is crucial to the cosmos that i succeed. JADE: the prince of heart has to be stopped.
:D :D :D :D :D
Pretty awesome!  A decent setup to a story that probably shouldn’t be told, the implied sequel that Meat invites up or whatever.  And... oh phew.
Oh PHEW.
OH FUCKING PHEW. HOLD ON.
So.  The very last line of the epilogue, the last bit:
The hole leaves behind an absence in the sky so calm that continuing to call it a sky wouldn’t seem to do it justice. It’s a perfectly neutral expanse into which anything one can imagine might be summoned. And for a while, anything was. But not anymore. Where the hole gaped just moments ago, there now exists an imaginary line.
Above this line resides all that matters. Below exists all else. Never again the twain shall meet.
Okay!  :D :D :D
So, when I read that last line, I was INCREDIBLY disheartened.  I thought that Andrew was declaring that canon would never interfere with anything again, that this was the FINAL WORD on Homestuck and everything to do with it as far as canon was concerned, and that Dirk’s crimes and such would forever go unresolved and left to the imagination.
But that’s not what the line meant.
What’s INSIDE the singularity, and thus “under” the imaginary line, is everything non-canon, all the possibility and fanfiction and dead ghosts and such who are trapped in this safeguarded realm alt!Callie created to protect them, away from the influence of any future plot danger beyond the mundane issues they create for themselves.
And what’s OUTSIDE the singularity, above the line, is canon.  A canon which actually continues, and which this line doesn’t necessarily cut short.
I don’t know if Andrew will ever continue this nonsense, maybe to show me a Rose who’s actually happy as a robot or something?  But... er, that’s not the point.  The point is that even though the story “isn’t over”, it’s left so it CAN continue, so that the final state of these ISN’T a permanent cliffhanger to be left forever unfulfilled intentionally.  I’ll still be traumatized by the state some of these characters are left in, until Andrew maybe possibly chooses to resolve some of this nonsense with later content, which he probably won’t.  Heck, this actually might be easier for him to create a new work with, given how much baggage has been left behind on old Earth and in the singularity, so all you have is a much relatively smaller cast of characters on a chase to wherever Dirk is planning to go?  But, like.  When I read that Postscript, I stopped believing anyone I saw suggesting we’d get anything after this.  Any sort of work of... you know... continuing, er, Homestuckiness from Andrew, no matter what it was.  But even just... leaving it open even if he isn’t going to DO anything about it, and having that final line NOT be an aggressive cutoff?  Is just nice.  Nicer, anyway.
And this singularity is kept safe for us to enjoy ALL of the old stuff, the multitude of possibility that the in-singularity version of Roxy glimpses out of the side of her eye.  That--
Oh my Gosh.  THAT’S also what the final line means.
Above this line resides all that matters. Below exists all else. Never again the twain shall meet.
Homestuck fanfiction is now COMPLETELY FREE FROM CANON.
Within this singularity, nothing has to stay true to absolutely every underpinning of the earlier comic.  Nothing has to make sense.  Nothing has to be narratively consistent with anything else, though it’s obviously more enjoyable if it is.  Truth, essentiality, and relevance may all be FLEXED as much as any individual fanfic writer needs to!  And... and earlier, before this epilogue.  When we would get Snapchat stuff of the story on Earth C.  And even before that when all we had was the ending flash.  There was still a FEAR on many parts that there was more to canon that Andrew wasn’t telling us, that whatever was in our imaginations about what may have happened was “wrong”, that any fanfic you wrote was liable to be disproven formally.  But that’s not the case anymore.  Because with that line, with alt!Callie sealing off this realm and taking just a last few soon-to-be canon-impactors out of one of its timelines, Andrew has left ALL of the earlier trappings of Homestuck, of Earth, of all these characters and ghosts and fragmented possibilities, permanently free from canon influence from the rest of time.  Meaning no Homestuck fanfic that takes place in this singularity-granted realm may EVER be busted by Andrew’s future work.  He’s done what he first aspired to do when he declared all fantrolls in existence canon.  He’s finally “killed the author”.  He’s made the very FACT of an author an enemy, to be pursued in its own canon story outside of all this.  He’s set EVERYTHING free.
Wow.  So that’s what all the point of all this was, huh?  :D
Let me read the last few pages of Candy anyway.  Where was I again?
Oh, about to click the last page.  ==>
Oh my GOD.  This Postscript is about the end of MEAT, where the Meat Postscript showed us the end of CANDY!!!  :D
Let’s hear where this shit is all going!  I’ve been wondering what realm Dirk is actually heading towards to try and start fucking up.  Reading...
...Oh, okay.  I thought I glimpsed someone mentioning something about Rose “doing Dirk’s laundry”, and I thought I just missed some narrative comment on laundry made when Dirk took Rose out of the apartment on that final trip out to Jake’s for a spaceship?  But I guess this was the scene they were talking about.  Fuck you, Dirk.
One of her more reckless shipmates chipped a tooth trying one, despite repeated warnings to stay away from the stuff.
So Terezi IS there?  And probably received that final message from Vriska to think about.
It’s a stray ruby slipper. The other is about ten feet away, down the hall. No sign of their owner anywhere.
Yep, that’s definitely Terezi.
...Oh cool, Rose’s body isn’t quite dead?  She could be returned to it or a souped-up version of it if she’s ever brought to her senses outside Dirk’s corrosive influence.
A new planet is within sensor range. She studies the millions of statistics all pouring in at once.
They’re heading for a planet?  Somewhere else in Universe C?
It’s an M-Class planet. The right size, right age, right distance from the sun. There’s no advanced life yet. It’s exactly what they’ve been looking for all these years.
Shit, a NEW planet?  For all this shit to go down on?  Maybe I don’t need to see what happens next, that sounds potentially a little boring.  The future adventure this story entails COULD just be implied and never followed up on.
Once the new race has established
What race??? Human, hybrid?? It’s not TROLL, y’all would have brought Aradia if that was the case, right?  Or is this why there are tons of trolls in Universe C that Caliborn and Calliope’s parent trolls got to incinerate ages later, seeded across planets by these assholes?
The ones who get the chance to play what will arguably be the most important session in the history of Sburb?
Ahhh.  Okay.  So this may INDEED be something interesting, something worth seeing.  A new session, one where Dirk is the villain, Rosebot is enthralled, and old heroes are on their way to help see him thwarted.  Along with the mystery participants of a session we’ve yet to see.
Enough time goes by that she begins to wonder if he’s asleep. But no. It’s just the irritated silence of a man who knows he isn’t currently dressed well enough to attend to something important.
DIRK: Are my fucking pantaloons ready yet?
Yeah, fuck you and your anime pantaloons straight in the Yaois, Dirk Smartass.
Okay!
So that’s the end of the epilogue.  BOTH epilogues.  And... I like it.
I don’t know why.  I mean it was all excellent before, and my stomach’s still a BIT clenchy, but I like it now.  I misinterpreted things from the Meat ending, and now everything... everything makes a little more sense.  Some things seem resolved, others earned...
And... in a way I feel like I could actually oddly accept, even if there’s never anything that touches on this ever again...
It doesn’t seem “over”.  :)
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