#‪immediately asking for marie and don’t fuck with my friends like THATS MY BABY ‬

[overplannedbutunnamednpc]

glade playlist

got two likes on my post so that’s literally 20% of my readership saying hell yeah fuck yeah glade playlist. i am a servant to the masses. here it is, w descriptions under the cut.

some warnings: don’t expect this to be good. this is Vibes Only and an excuse to talk about Him. the order of the songs tells no story and thus does no sin. skip the songs you don’t like because it makes no difference at all.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5ZJRrektFybq9vksjnWGnh?si=jhSi_lBeThqaB74HO1UrQA

1. Above The Clouds Of Pompeii by Bear’s Den

Just don't cry Hold your head up high She would want you to She would want you to You said stay in the car and wait There's just some things I have to say Don't you know I miss her, too I miss her just as much as you So my father and my son As you end what she's begun You'll lie patient by her side With roses red come lilies white

this came from a magnus/julia playlist originally and it fucks, but it’s more here for the Vibes than anything else. if I had to explain it, I’d say this is immediately post like. lent coming home and telling glade that she doesn’t remember anything about him. this is the vibes of red being down for her nap, blissfully unaware that the motherfuckers have left and glade sitting down heavily on the couch of the home they shared and finally, tiredly, burying his face in his hands as he processes the fact that when lent first saw him, there wasn’t a spark of recognition in her eyes, and how much that hurts even if she’s promised to come back to him anyway. thats the vibes.

2. Best Intentions by Hodera

I guess we'll just stop talking then We can forget this ever happened 'Cause it's obvious I can't just be your friend I'm going in circles 'cause I only have one paddle out here alone Got back to shore 'bout 2AM I grabbed your jacket on the boat dock And I pulled you in and we kissed It was so dark, I found your lips Only because I felt your breath I know that soon I will be fine You left this void the size of pines lake Now I'm filling it up one cup at a time And if I knew that was the last time I'd see you I might have said Hey Mary, that was one crazy summer I know after this we'll never see each other I'm old enough now to know nothing lasts forever The only thing I ask is please Remember every detail of this moment Because once you close that door you'll never see me And some day you might remember When we drove out to the lake And stole a boat to see the moon eclipse go by

this one is a break up song so it’s here for the Vibes. i’ve kind of been envisioning this as the song glade would have written/sung if lent decided that she’d rather have amaunator than him, when he told her that he was a criminal. it’s about a summer romance that didn’t go far enough, and it fucks majorly, and it comes from a universe just a little bit to the left, where glade and hymn met but never actually took all the steps glade and lent did.

3. New Religion by The Heydaze

A city of strangers, the streetlights, they change us We all need a little bit more, we all need a little bit more The saints and the liars, the dealers and buyers We all need a little bit more, we all need a little bit more But somewhere there's a light A sign that it's alright I find it by your side People get lost in repetition Working and watching television Hard to wake up in the morning It's hard to wake up in the morning I'm watching you dancing in the kitchen I could call you my new religion You're waking me up in the morning You're waking me up in the morning, yeah

IF YOU LISTEN TO NO OTHER SONG FROM THIS PLAYLIST. LISTEN TO THIS ONE. sometimes I listen to this song and I get stuck in a loop where it’s the only music anyone has ever listened to because I love this song so much. anyway this is a REALLY good gladelent song. Vibes of them falling in love that first time, and lent’s recovery when she’s started getting her sight back, probably after she takes relentless as her next virtue name, and glade finding her dancing and singing to herself in the kitchen they now share, and just watching and loving her so much because he forgot how good it was to see her happy.

4. Gray Flowers by The Gray Havens

They cried, We told you stay away, From that crazy color, Turn around if you don't we'll break you, And you don't have anyone to save you, He said, She needs me to stay, Cuz gray can take her sorrow, So I will die tonight so she will know, That gray will stay in the color-code, For my love I will die you know, But before I do let the record show, That I brought her flowers every day, And she loved them, She loved me she'd never felt that way, So if you feel you need some gray, That's ok child, cuz you know you've just got to Ask, And I'll come back

this ones about love transforming a society around them. idk i like it. the townspeople who hate the color gray are the crownsguard @ gladelent. is that anything??? who cares not me it’s on Here one way or another!

5. Two by Sleeping At Last

I know exactly how the rule goes Put my mask on first No, I don't want to talk about myself Tell me where it hurts I just want to build you up, build you up 'Til you're good as new And maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too I don't even know where to start Already tired of trying to recall when it all fell apart I just want to love you, to love you, to love you well I just want to learn how, somehow, to be loved myself Like a force to be reckoned with A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss I will love you without any strings attached And what a privilege it is to love A great honor to hold you up

this one is about loving someone despite not loving yourself quite yet and like. it’s a good one for pre-fall gladelent. glade was a squatter and a thief trying to provide for himself; he wasn’t exactly his own biggest fan, but love happens when you aren’t expecting it sometimes, and There He Was, head over heels for a woman who could have been (and should have been) arresting him. it is simply. a good love story.

6. Ezra by Becca VanDerbeck

Someday you'll find a Place where you belong Somewhere to settle down and plant Your roots, and grow up strong Oh, I hope that you'll remember all My silly little songs Honey, please remember these Few things in all you do Won't you always love your neighbor Wear a smile, and tell the truth Don't be scared of what you don't know And don't be afraid to lose Cause there’s a lesson there for Learnin', there's a lesson if you choose Oh and listen, kid, I promise I will Always see you through Cause Ezra, I love you, I love you, I do Oh Ezra, I love you, I love you, I do Ezra, I love you, I love you, I do

this is a glade and red song. i actually sing it as “red, girl, I love you, I love you, I do” bc I so strongly associate it with Them. it’s just a good, sweet song! glade dances red around the living room while singing it and she babbles along and maybe she sings it at him when she wants to be danced, because she’s a baby with both fangs and tusks and its SO hard to use words but humming a vague melody and clapping at your daddy gets you what you want so why would you Talk? smh. (someone needs to stop me before i get really emo about this tradition continuing into red’s childhood and adolescence and how when she’s upset glade will hum it to her when he hugs her and uh oh..... misty about this now................. they are a Fambly.........) all his kids get their own songs but reds song is Special, I think, in this way.

7. Black Coffee Morning by Bluebiird

Just too tall to comfort Just too big to hold But I'll fit you inside my future At least that's the lie we told And it's a black coffee morning on the east side And I'm singing all the time today Cause you're saying that you love me with your big eyes But your words don't come out that way Oh, play it again for me Big bright moon in the sky And give me one more night with my baby And that'll be alright

this is a little bit of a bitter one, as the name including black coffee implies. I imagine this one as a vibes of, “my wife went out to adventure again and I haven’t seen her in three weeks as a consequence.” like does he respect that lent has a ton of wanderlust? yeah. does he wish she’d stay home safe with him so he never has to worry when he goes a few days between Sendings from raini whether she’s alive or dead? also yeah. this is the song that plays the morning after lent left for hell, after two years of being not quite satisfied with retirement. this is the song that glade wakes up to, his bed empty, because they have an agreement now that lent sneaks out rather than glade potentially having to say goodbye for a Last Time. this is red babbling questioningly at him when mama hasn’t been home in hours and glade picking her up and singing to her rather than answering.

8. Band of Gold by The Gray Havens

I'm never get'n over you No I never will be over you Yes I threw away the key That bound my heart to yours To the bottom of the sea I don't need it anymore No there's no turn'n back for us There's only movin' forward Cuz this love is a band of gold When the fire's burn'n and When the embers feel cold So when I hold you in my arms I hope you know That this love is a band of gold

note: did NOT know i had two songs by the same guys on here! nice going gray havens. this is a good marriage song. that’s the vibes of this one. staying together through thick and thin, waking up and choosing to love that one person every single day, smiling down at your wedding ring even when they’re not around you for the symbol and reminder that they love you just as much, that they made that same commitment.

9. Farther Along by Josh Garrels

There's so much more to life than we've been told It's full of beauty that will unfold And shine like you struck gold my wayward son That deadweight burden weighs a ton I go down to the river and let it run Wash away all the things you've done Forgiveness alright Farther along we'll know all about it Farther along we'll understand why So cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine We'll understand this, all by and by, oh yeah

so, full disclosure, some of these songs came from my godfucking/religious trauma playlist. this is one of these songs. as such it’s? more of a Vibe than the other songs. it only kinda fits as a song of faith that things will get better even if you don’t understand why they are the way they are right now. I think of it as like. kind of glade’s relationship with faith? he hopes it’s all for a reason, that one day he’ll understand why bad shit is happening, but he doesn’t have a lot of faith in any actual god. but mostly this is just vibes.

10. How To Be Yours by Chris Renzema

You say that you love me, don't say that you love me 'Cause I don't know how to be yours You say that you want me, don't say that you want me 'Cause I don't know how to be yours I still act like an orphan I guess And my hard heart breaks to confess That even while you hold me As I cry on the floor I still don't know how to be yours So love me or hate me I'm not going anywhere Leave me or take me You still bear my signature Know me or not Seen or forgot I'm not walking out on you

lent and glade are both orphans and this is the song about doubting the love that comes your way even when you’ve not necessarily been given a reason to. it’s sung both by the doubter and the person refusing to leave them just because of that, and I think it’s nice! glade and his doubts, come amnesiac lent, that she will actually want to stay with him once she has her grace back with amaunator, and lent and her doubts, post fall, that he’ll stay with her now that she’s no longer good or righteous, now that she no longer deserves the name hymn.

11. Take Me To Church by Hozier

My lover's got humor She's the giggle at a funeral Knows everybody's disapproval I should've worshiped her sooner If the Heavens ever did speak She's the last true mouthpiece Every Sunday's getting more bleak A fresh poison each week "We were born sick", you heard them say it My church offers no absolutes She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom" The only Heaven I'll be sent to Is when I'm alone with you I was born sick, but I love it Command me to be well A-, Amen, Amen, Amen Take me to church I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife Offer me that deathless death Good God, let me give you my life Take me to church I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife Offer me that deathless death Good God, let me give you my life

obligatory hozier song. it’s horny and it’s religiously themed. this is also from my godfucking/religious trauma playlists. there’s not a whole lot to say here except that I wanted some hozier on this playlist bc glades og design/concept was “half orc hozier” and take me to church slaps. next song.

12. Belly of the Deepest Love by Tow’rs

The beats of hammers felt like drums of war Killed for the words you swore From the belly of the deepest love, The hills trembling throats sing hallelujah Like the flowers on a dogwood tree Blush with blame you took for me Oh how you wish to be with me Oh how you wish to be with me Do you remember seeing the man Covered by the same blood he damned Join the song with the sky in the darkest hour I need something to hold on to Stronger than the iron that held you Louder than the roar of the crowd that day

I think this one is pretty immediately post lent’s fall too. it’s got jesus imagery in there but I think that fits. this one doesn’t have a whole lot behind it except for post fall vibes.

13. One Jump Ahead by Brad Kane

Gotta keep One jump ahead of the breadline One swing ahead of the sword I steal only what I can't afford (That's Everything!) One jump ahead of the lawmen That's all, and that's no joke These guys don't appreciate I'm broke

this is a fun little song about scoundrel!glade! I thought it fit nicely and also it makes me think about the Aladdin au slash novel Lex and I have where glade lifts something valuable (her holy symbol I think?) off of lent and shows it to her and basically says, “I’ll just keep this so I know you’ll come see me next time” intending it to be a tease and then her gripping her sword hilt and holding her hand out with this fake smile and going “or you’ll give it back Now” (because she Can’t let him get away with that) and him going “or I can give it back now! great idea!” he really Thot it would go over better. but it’s okay bc they fell in love anyway.

14. Karma by AJR

I've been so good, I've been helpful and friendly I've been so good, why am I feeling empty? I've been so good, I've been so good this year I've been so good, but it's still getting harder I've been so good, where the hell is the karma? I've been so good, I've been so good this year Time, I know we're out of time But what if sad thoughts come and I can't stop it Bye, I don't wanna say bye If only I could keep you in my pocket To give me some diagnosis of why I'm so hollow Please give me instructions, I promise I'll follow I tripped on my ankle and fractured my elbow But doesn't that mean that the tour's gonna sell though? I try to explain the good faith that's been wasted But after an hour it sounds like complaining Wait don't go away, can I lie here forever? You say that I'm better, why don't I feel better? The universe works in mysterious ways But I'm starting to think it ain't working for me Doctor, should I be good? Should I be good this year?

similar vibes to farther along but much less hopeful and more desperate while still trying to sound like an upbeat song. this is glade telling amaunator off for letting lent go when she is nothing but Good. this is glade when he’s still a thief, going hungry because he fed his sister tonight rather than himself, asking whatever god might be listening why it was them who were punished with this because they weren’t doing anything wrong. this is glade setting the table for the motherfuckers, smiling even though it’s immediately post lent’s rez ritual, because they were the ones who actually saw her die, not him, and they’re good people who need to catch a break so here he is, getting them to joke and laugh with him while lent sleeps off her resurrection sickness in the other room.

[maximows]

Against the Odds - Chapter IV

Thats convenient,

MASTERLIST (mobile) AO3 

Warnings: smut, fam meetings and douchey friends

“What should I wear?” Chris’ voice echoed from our hotel bedroom. “I didn’t bring many clothes.”

I was just about to put in an earring, when he came into the bathroom. “Which one?” he held out a white and a light blue dress shirt.

“Whoa, you want to wear a dress shirt to meet my parents?” I smirked. “You’re not proposing, are you?”

“I did tell you that I’m not letting that skillful mouth of yours get away from me,” he joked. “But we are going to a restaurant, right?”  

“Yes,” I nodded. “But please, don’t make a great deal out of it. It will only make both of us more nervous. And wear the white one.”  

The restaurant was only a few blocks away, so we took a short walk. Chris looked amazing in that shirt and black trousers. I wished we had an extra 15 minutes for a quickie before the dinner, but it had to wait. “Maybe I should’ve brought a bottle of wine or something?” he asked, nervously.

“I’m sure there’s wine at the restaurant, love,” I smiled and rubbed his forearm. “You have nothing to worry about.”

Chris was incredibly nervous about meeting my parents. Apart from being worried that they might not like him, he also concerned about not understanding their accents, which weren’t different from mine, so no, there was nothing to worry about.

“Should I pick up the check?” he continued. “I read about it, and...”

I interrupted him by simply taking his face in my hands and kissing him, long and deep. “They are gonna love you, Christopher,” I whispered against his lips. “So please, don’t worry.”

He nodded. “Thank you.”  

We entered the restaurant, where my parents were already sitting, waiting for us. I squeezed Chris’ bicep to cheer him up. “Hi, Mum,” I greeted her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Dad,” I moved back to Chris and introduced him. “This is Chris.”

“Mrs. Dawson, Mr. Dawson.” I noticed his voice became a bit lower and more serious.  

“It is very lovely to meet you, Chris,” my mum said.

“Emily told us a lot of good things about you.” Dad added.

We sat down and ordered. Chris got a little bit more relaxed once he realized my parents were really not that scary. He was mainly nervous because of the conflict I had with them at the beginning of the year, but it was now all sorted out. My dad did like the fact that Chris decided not to drink alcohol, but didn’t know that he refused only because we were going to my friend's party later and he didn’t want to mix.

“So, you two are going to be in a film together, right?” my Mum asked.  

Chris nodded. “Yes, we’re filming the first one right now, it’s Avengers: Age of Ultron. We are two months into filming and just came back from South Korea. We’re actually very lucky to be doing this together and avoid being apart for such a long time.”

“Emily was always into comic books, I’m not surprised she landed a role in Marvel movies.” My dad laughed. “She'd always run around with her brothers playing football or something.”  

“Since I couldn’t bring our family albums, I have a few pictures on my phone,” my Mum reached to her bag. “I’m sure Chris would love to see some.”

“Thank you, mum.” I said as I saw Chris' eyes light up. The only reason why I didn't protest, was because how happy Chris was now. My parents really liked him. How could anyone not like him? I looked at him, as he scrolled through my baby pictures with my mum and God... I love him. Words cannot describe what I feel when I look at my insanely beautiful and kind boyfriend.

After Chris finished telling my parents the story of his life, childhood and other stuff, I noticed that it was time for us to go. “Chris, we should head out.” I interrupted.

We said our goodbyes. Fortunately, there was no fight over the bill. My dad accepted Chris' offer to pay. Chris was a bit disappointed that my brothers couldn’t make it, but they both work in the same team and had an emergency they had to attend to.

“You have my parents wrapped around your finger,” I joked on our way back to the hotel. “They were mesmerized.”  

“What can I say? Parents love me.” He shrugged. We reached the entrance. “I’ll just a have a smoke and I’ll be up in a minute.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “I asked you to stop smoking, baby.”  

“It’s not that easy.” He shrugged.

I rolled my eyes at him and went back to our room. He did a good job hiding his addiction from me in the early stages of our relationship. He said that it was easier, because we weren’t spending as much time together as we are now. But now that we're both working on the same project, he couldn’t hide it anymore. I’m not saying that him smoking would have been a deal breaker, but I hate cigarettes and as much as I hate it when people ask their partners to change, I’d like to come up with a system to make him stop smoking.

I took a very quick shower and headed out to the bedroom in a towel, to find something to wear. I settled on black trousers, white t-shirt and a jacket.

I was still in my underwear when Chris came back. “Keep your distance, ashtray.” I snapped as he tried to get close to me. I hate the smell of cigarettes and it instantly makes me sick.  

I laid on the bed, while Chris was in the shower. There was still a lot of time before we had to leave, so I just opened Instagram and scrolled though my feed. Sophia had already posted her outfit for the evening.  

I heard that Chris finished showering, so I laid on my stomach, arching my back so my butt was popping out. “Chriiiis!” I called. “Can you help me with my phone?”

“In a second,” he called back and soon I heard the door open. “what is... oh, you fucking didn’t.”  

I turned to see him with messy wet hair, in a towel around his hips. “Come on, babe.” I wiggled my butt at him.  

“Look at those long legs...” He walked over and I felt his finger draw a line from my foot, through my calf all the way to my upper thigh. He then got on the bed and sat on my thighs. His hands grabbed my butt cheeks firmly. I groaned as he squeezed then firmly. “I am so fucking lucky...” he sighed and spanked me. I gasped as I felt my skin sting lightly. He’s never done that before. “Did you like it?” he whispered.

“Yeah,” I moaned. “Do it again.”

I felt his palm smack against my ass again, but this time it was harder, and I gasped. “Fuck.” I mumbled against the sheets.

“I’m loving it, but I need to fuck you already.” He blurted. I felt his fingers gently run up and down my clothed pussy. “How are you always so wet, baby girl?”

I turned to meet his gaze. “You make me.” I groaned, feeling chills all over my body, caused by Chris' thumb rubbing against my panties. I heard him loose the towel, then he lowered my panties and I felt cold air against my sex. Chris buried two fingers in between my folds and breathed out slowly.

“Chris, please...” I begged as he removed his fingers. They were soon replaced the tip of Chris' dick. “Fuck, yes.”

I felt a light stretch which was both painful and pleasurable. I gripped the sheets as Chris moved deeper inside me. He hovered over my body, so his lips could reach the top of my spine. “You're taking me so well, baby...” he groaned against my skin. “Come on, come for me.”

He started to pick up the pace, supporting himself with his one arm and using the other to hold my waist down. I felt my walls tighten around his shaft as my orgasm neared, I couldn't stop moaning, the friction was too much, Chris’ moans turned me on even more and I let go.  

Chris turned me to lay on my side, entered me again and he continued thrusting into me, his movements becoming more and more sloppy. I was seeing stars and I’m pretty sure my moans were audible from outside our apartment. Chris reached between my legs to play with clit. “You ready to come again for me, baby?” he breathed out.  

I heard Chris groan one last time as he released into me. I felt his dick twitch and we came together. Chris laid down, wrapping his arm around my waist to pull me close to his body. “I’m nearly 33 years old and I'm having the best sex of my life with you.”

“I wish I could say the same thing...” I sighed and made Chris glare angrily at me. “But I have no comparison.”  

We stayed like that for a while before leaving for the party. It was a 30 minute drive from our hotel. Chris was driving with his hand constantly on my thigh, I held on to his arm. I did want to drive, because he doesn’t have experience driving on the left side, but he wouldn’t let me. “You’re going to drive on the way back, after I’ve had too much to drink.”  

“What if I want to drink too?” I asked, raising my eyebrow.  

“Oh, I mean, that’s fine...” he struggled.

“I’m kidding! It’s fine, you agreed to meet my friends, I won’t drink if you want to.” I said, giving his bicep a kiss. “Besides, I hate most of them and I wanna show you off.”

He burst into laughter. “How can you hate your friends?”  

“I like my friends, but I don’t like their friends and they are also gonna be there,” I explained. “Oh, and I should warn you. The guy I, um... the guy who turned out to be taken will be there.”  

“Ok, I can take that.” He nodded.  

“And the guy I used to have a crush on.” I added quickly. “But I really don’t talk to them anymore, you don’t even have to acknowledge them, ok? And if you hear a stupid comment, just think about the great sex we have, right?”  

“I’m gonna be fine, everyone’s got their history and I'm not going to ruin your night with friends with some jealousy outbursts.”

We arrived at Sophie and Mary’s house and walked inside hand in hand. The girls surrounded us immediately, more excited to see Chris than me, their best friend. “It’s so nice to finally meet you! We’ve heard so much about you!”

It didn’t take long for Chris to get to know most of the people and disappear into conversation with them. I stayed in the kitchen with the girls, using the one moment we had to talk privately.

“Emilia Alexandra, he is perfect for you.” Amy said. “Visually, he’s exactly your type and character-wise, he’s all a man should be.”  

“I know, he’s amazing.” I sighed, watching him talk to Mary's boyfriend. No wonder, they were both around the same age. “And, don’t get me wrong, but... I’m afraid.”  

“Why? Has he done anything?” Sophia inquired, lowering her voice.

“No, no. He’s absolutely perfect,” I smiled. “But he's older. 11 years is not the biggest age gap Hollywood has witnessed, but in a year or two, he'll start talking about having children. Right now, the whole idea of a childbirth freaks me out...”

“Don’t think about it now, ok? I’m sure Chris understands that he’s not dating a woman who has to hurry up if she wants to be a mother,” Mary explained. “Besides, the man is clearly in love with you, already. He would wait 20 more years for you to be ready.”

We had to end the conversation when more and more people neared the kitchen. I went to the living room, but before I sat down next to my boyfriend, Will, my former crush, appeared in front of me.

We used to have this weird dynamic – we were never a couple, but our friends told us that we looked like one. “Haven't seen you in a long time, Em,” He said. “How are you?”

“Oh, I’m alright,” I answered. “A little bit busy at the moment, but life’s good.”

“Yeah, you got yourself a superhero,” he moved on to the topic quickly. “He doesn’t seem your type, though.”

“Well, if you think that smart, tall, handsome and kind is not my type, then you’re wrong and most certainly don’t know me.” I shrugged and took a sip of my non-alcoholic mojito.

Not wanting to waste any more time on Will, I walked to the living room, where Chris was having an incredibly energetic conversation with Harry, Mary's boyfriend, and Lucas. I wanted to sit next to him, but the moment he saw me, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me down to sit on his lap. “How’s things?” I whispered and kissed his temple.  

“Things are good,” He responded with a sly smile on his face. “I thought you weren’t drinking tonight, baby.”

“It’s a mojito, but without rum,” I explained. “So, what were you talking about?”

“Oh, Chris was just telling us about Korea,” Harry said. “I’m actually going there on a work trip next month.”

“That’s great,” I smiled. “I should've gone into marketing, you travel all the time and get to actually see the cities you go to...”

“Heyyy,” Chris furrowed his eyebrows. “You wouldn’t have met me then.”  

Mary walked in with even more food on the plates and set them on the table. “So, Em, still can’t tell us anything about the movie?”

“Oh, no fucking way,” I shook my head. “Marvel would fucking shoot me, just ask Chris. He’s been in this much longer than me.”

“That’s true, they barely tell us anything and it constantly gets worse...” He confirmed.  

“How did you two meet?” Sam, Will's brother asked. At some point in the past, I thought he liked me, that we were getting along, because we had a lot in common, but it turned out that he was as mean as his brother was dumb.  

“We were on a plane to LA together and then I came to Chris' party.” I explained.  

“Oh, did she end up unconscious or vomited into your sink?” Adam asked and I rolled my eyes at him. I did this once at his house, because they kept pouring me strong drinks on an empty stomach. “She tends to do that.”

“Nooo, I think she was actually enjoying herself at mine,” Chris replied, shutting Adam down.  

I could see Sophie glaring at Adam, Will and Sam, but it didn’t stop them. “Hey, do you remember, when you got so drunk on wine that you called Will to pick you up?” Sam smiled widely. “God, you were barely able to walk back to the car, weren’t you?”  

I felt Chris' fingers squeeze the skin of my waist more tightly. I knew he wouldn't do anything remotely impolite. I didn’t mind them saying that stuff – I knew it was only because they were mad that I was going forward and had an amazing boyfriend by my side. They were once the only men in my closest circle and now they were just feeling threatened. “Wait, is he the guy you told me about? The one who crashed his parents' car, because he was trying to overtake a sports car?” he asked, faking confusion. God, I do love him. And I hate it when people try to make themselves relevant.

“Ohh, yeah, that’s him.” I smiled cheekily and discreetly scratched the back of Chris' neck, which I knew he loved.

“Ok, I think that’s enough reminiscing for today, isn’t it?” Sophie interrupted.  

I hated every part of the evening which consisted of talking to anyone outside of my closest circle. Fortunately, most of them left before us, so the atmosphere got better and better.

A while later, Chris and I said our goodbyes to the remaining guests and left for our rental car. He was holding me tightly by his side, mostly because he got a bit hammered with the group of my friends that were actually acting normally around him. “I hate your friends,” he whined. “but I love your best friends.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” I said as Chris walked me to the driver's seat. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him as we faced each other.

“I want to say something,” he blurted out in a nearly sober voice. “Before I do, I want you to know that even though I am a little drunk, I am fully aware of what I’m saying and I’m taking responsibility for my words. Also, I’m sorry for saying this on an ordinary night like that,” he took a deep breath. “I’m in love with you, very much.”

My mouth formed a wide grin as I cupped his cheeks in my hands. “That’s very convenient,” I whispered against his lips and gave him a gentle kiss. “me too.”

He pressed another kiss on my lips, this time harder, more hungrily. He tasted like scotch, cigarettes and mint gum. “I am so lucky that these guys are absolute garbage, I got to snag you for myself.”

The next day, when we landed in Boston, we were both tired, but it was only 2pm. Chris was still feeling a little bit hangover from the night before. He slept through most of our flight, with his head on my lap. I’m sure it wasn’t comfortable for him, but he does love it when I play with his hair.  

I met Chris' oldest sister at the airport, where she came to pick us up. “Hi, I’m Carly,” She greeted me and hugged. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”  

“You too,” I smiled.  

“They’re all dying to see you,” She cheered. “And Chris, the kids are going to go crazy once you walk through the door.”

“I’m not gonna be a fun uncle today, I’m sooo hangover.” Chris whined. “We're going straight to bed.”  

“Speak for yourself, Evans.” I said.

I was a little bit nervous when we reached Chris' family house. He’s always told me how close they are, especially his mother and him and I really wanted to make a good impression. That’s why I didn’t travel in my most comfortable clothes and chose something more presentable.  

We entered the house and Chris was almost immediately tacked down to the ground by three children. “Oh God, they're gonna kill me! Help!” he shouted.  

Chris’ mum came out to greet us. “Oh, Emily! I’m so glad he’s finally brought you here!” chucked. “I've been hearing about you from Scott for months now.”

“Hope it's only the good things.” I smiled.  

“Oh, definitely,” she smiled. “Let my get you something to eat. Chris, please take your luggage to your bedroom.”

Chris just made a strange sound as he was surrounded by his nephews.

Lisa made an excellent lasagne and salad (amongst other things). I was literally in a food coma. Chris couldn’t stop laughing at me and my post-meal facial expressions. “I always try to make her eat more and you accomplished that in just one hour, mom. Amazing.”  

“You’re making it sound like I’m starving myself, but there’s just a lot of things I shouldn’t eat.” I explained. “I mean, I haven’t had a coffee in ages.”

Chris nodded. “True, I have no idea how she does it.”

“Emily, you should let me know what you wouldn’t want to eat,” Lisa suggested. “Chris should've let me know...”

“Oh, no, no. Please, don’t go out of your way for me. I can eat everything...”  

“Except for brussels, asparagus...” Chris started to count on his fingers.

I’m not gonna lie, I was enjoying the attention Chris’ niece was giving me. As soon as Chris told her about my Cinderella role, Millie kept asking me about my dress, the prince, carriage. I showed her pictures of myself on the set and she looked like I was her idol already.  

“I should dump you solely for that comment at the table.” I snapped, laying in bed as Chris was changing. Everyone left for some event at Carly's school and we decided to stay in and take a nap. “I loved that lasagne and now I’m afraid your mom is never going to make it again. I intend on keeping our relationship going just for that lasagne.”

“Ouch,” he gasped and lied shirtless next to me. I was wearing a hoodie of his I found in his wardrobe. He said that it was older than my second teeth. “But seriously – I haven’t brought any girl here in a very long time, so mom is incredibly excited. She actually wants to take you to the theatre tomorrow.”  

“Really?” I asked excitedly. “What for?”  

“I don’t know, probably just to hang out together,” he shrugged. “And then, my dad is coming over for dinner.”  

“Right, ok,” I nodded, moving my head to lay on his bicep. “And the day after tomorrow... It’s your birthday.”

Chris pressed his lips into a thin line. “Yup, it is,” he sighed and brought me closer to press my torso against his. “Can we just not make a great deal out of it?”  

“You made a huge deal out of mine though, love.”

“Yeah, but you weren’t turning 33 years old.”  

I sighed and lifted myself up to sit on his torso. I pressed my hands against his firm chest. “Your age isn’t going to stop me from preparing celebrations, Evans,” I grinned. “I mean, everything is already prepared, you’re not getting away.” I leaned down to give him a kiss. “I loved my birthday this year,” I whispered. “I want to do something equally great for you, so let me do this, you dumbass.”

He burst into laughter as I pressed my mouth against his collarbone tattoo. “Oh, I love you,” He grabbed my side and pulled me closer. “You’re just... flawless.”

I pulled back to look him in the eyes. His beautiful blue eyes were still tired from the night before. His hair was a little messy from laying on the bed, but it might have also been my fault. I leaned down to give his nose a quick kiss. “I love you too, handsome.”  

Chris moved his hand down to the curve of my ass. “How about we use the time alone we got to have a little fun?” he asked. “I mean, we are in my childhood home. An opportunity like that won’t happen again soon.”

I sat back. “Did you just say you love me and then suggest having sex?” I tilted my head to the side.  

He shrugged. “I don’t know, can’t remember, I’m an old man.”  

I giggled at his comment and wanted to actually start the fun, but we heard the door open downstairs. I sighed. “Well, that sums up the fun for the day.”  

“Come ‘ere, baby,” he whispered. “Let’s just pretend we're taking a nap or else the kids will attack me again.” He spooned me, wrapped his arms around me and brought my back close to his chest. “Goodnight, love.”

Even though I was only hoping to sleep for like an hour, I ended up sleeping through the whole night. I woke up around 8 am. The bed was empty, so I got up and found my leggings in the suitcase. I opened the door quietly and went downstairs, where I found Chris in the kitchen.

“Oh, hello, sleepy head,” he got up off the stool and walked up to me and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

“Hi,” I answered. “I can’t believe I slept for so long.” I counted the hours and I slept for almost 12 hours non-stop.

“You went through 2 months of shooting on maximum 5 hours of sleep every night, you deserve some more time to rest.” He whispered against my hair.

Lisa came into the kitchen as Chris was making me a tea. “Oh, you’re up! I was afraid we wouldn’t get the chance to spend some time together,” she said. “I’m going to the theatre in a while, would you want to join me?”  

“Of course! Just give me a few minutes to take a shower and get dressed.” I smiled and sprinted upstairs.  

“She's gonna have energy to deal with those kids, she spent 13 hours in bed and woke up after me,” Chris said to Lisa. “It barely ever happens, Mom. Never.”

It was one of the quickest showers of my life. I didn't want Lisa to wait too long for me, so I tried to hurry.  

Soon enough we were in a car driven by Chris. He was supposed to drop us off at the theatre and head to the gym. I was a bit nervous about spending time alone with Lisa, but I trusted Chris' words and knew that she was nothing but a kind person.  

“I’ll pick you up at 2, alright?” he waved as we left the car.  

Lisa let me watch a few rehearsals with her and it kind of brought back my memories from school and university. Those kids were already taking acting more seriously then I ever did. I sat there in the audience and watched their rehearsal. The teacher asked me to find something I thought they could improve, but honestly I didn’t see myself as any kind of authority in that matter. “You know, the last time I did any kind of theatre work was back in university, which wasn’t that long ago, but I was always more focused on films.” I explained. “The one thing I can tell you, is that I found meditation to be very helpful, because I couldn’t really mute the sound of the audience.”

“It also helps with auditions, filming, social interactions,” I added. “You need to be incredibly confident, don’t let people interrupt you, you’re the one on stage and they paid to see you.”

I watched the rehearsal until the end and then Lisa took me to her office. Even though I knew she wouldn’t question me like it was an interrogation, I was a little bit nervous, as it was our first time completely alone together.

“I love it here,” I admitted. “It kind of reminds me of my time in uni when I actually did theatre work. Of course, it wasn’t anything involving dance and singing, because it’s absolutely not my thing.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’d do just fine,” she assured me. “I saw your new movie a month ago and I really enjoyed it. I’ve actually seen a few of your movies since Chris told me about you. I do like how you don’t stick to one genre and it always turns out great.”

“Thank you so much,” I said, my voice shaking. “I’m sorry, I’m just a bit nervous. I feel like I’m at a job interview, but not because of you. I just have that natural fear of saying something stupid in important situations.”

Lisa laughed at me, but in a kind way. She admitted that she was a little surprised and hesitant, when Chris told her that I was younger – only because he always dated his age – but it didn’t take her much time to realize how important I was to him and that we were God door each other. With that said, I could feel tears pool in my eyes. Suck it up. “You know, whenever Chris brings a girl home, I’m a bit nervous. I do trust his taste, but the last one was a total miss, if I have to be honest. The main problem is that he hasn’t had a long-time relationship for a very long time now and I’m worried. You know, I’m fine with whoever he goes for, but I want him to be happy. And I know that for him, happiness means marriage and, eventually, kids.”

I knew what she meant. And she was trying to get information in the most polite way possible. “Lisa, I love him. It’s still early to even think about it, though. The one thing I can say is that I’m sure Chris is going to be a great husband and father, so if we work out for a time long enough, I’ll happily help him make his dreams come true. I don’t know how much it’ll take for me. It could be 2 years, could be 5.”

Lisa sighed and smiled. “You’re both really similar. You like the same things, I can see that you’re comfortable around each other,” she admitted. “Chris called me after your first date and said that you’ve known each other for a day and he felt like he was just wasting his time before he met you.” I couldn’t help but smile as the said that. I knew that our relationship was moving fast, but knowing how he felt about me in such early stages... “I really hope you two work out, because I’m looking forward to seeing my son as happy as he is with you more frequently.”

At this point I was just grinning like a crazy person. “Oh God, I have no idea what to say now.”

I was actually holding back tears after our little chat. Lisa was an incredible woman and I saw that she cared for her children, but not in an invasive way. She didn’t make me feel like she’d hunt me down if something went wrong in our relationship.  

Lisa stayed in a little longer, but I went outside where Chris was waiting for us. He’s changed his clothes after visiting the gym, his hair was pulled back but in a messy way. “How was your day?” he asked as I kissed him on the cheek.

“Well, I watched a few rehearsals, talked to the kids and then had a nice talk with your mum,” I answered. “She nearly made me cry.”

“What?” he seemed confused.

“She almost made me cry by being so nice and supporting of us.” I explained with a big grin on my face.

“Oh, that sounds more like her,” he said, wrapping his arm around me. “Now, will you tell me how is it possible that my filming schedule has been conveniently pushed back a day, so I don’t have to work on my birthday?”  

I just shrugged. “I have no idea, BUT I bet you should thank your awesome girlfriend for that. Just in case.”

He pulled me into a hug and I felt his tense muscles against my body. “Thank you so much and seeing you excited for what you’ve prepared makes me even more anxious to find out what it is.” He whispered against my neck.

I leaned back a bit to face him. “You’re gonna love it, I promise.” I said and kissed him gently. I loved Chris' habit of pulling me tightly against his body whenever we kissed. It made me just forget about the whole world and focus on him.  

Lisa soon joined us and we drove back home, where I helped Lisa cook dinner. The whole family came over in the evening, apart from Scott, who was in LA. I got to meet Chris’ dad, Bob. He spent some time with us. I couldn’t believe how similar Chris and his father looked.  

I was actually trying to observe how they acted, because, well. They’ve been divorced for quite a while now and have adult children, which required them to spend a lot of time together. But, as I suspected, it was an incredibly friendly and respectful relationship. It was obvious that something just hadn’t worked out and they both decided to get a divorce. I could only hope that my parents will be exactly the same.  

Chris and Bob went out to the garden to play with the kids, while I stayed in the kitchen with Lisa. “So, Chris has told me about your parents' separation...”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “I was actually watching you and Bob and the way you are after getting a divorce.”  

“Oh, we’ve been divorced for almost, what, 15 years,” she laughed. “Right now, I can barely remember what it was like being married to him. It was tough at the beginning, but the marriage just stopped working out for us, so we decided to end it.”

“I hope my parents are like that once they get a divorce. I’d hate to be just put in between them.”

“I’m sure it will be fine. It’s much easier to separated when you don’t have small children anymore. There’s no custody battle, which is one of the reasons why divorce cases take so long.”

Lisa was right. I kept thinking about my parents like they couldn’t handle their own life. I’m not dependent on them anymore, so I don’t have to worry about their relationship. Yes, it would be ideal if they stayed friends, but it’s their life.

In the evening, we all sat down in the living room, played some board games and watched a movie. I felt incredibly comfortable amongst Chris' family and some friends who have joined us. I was very sad about us leaving tomorrow and having to go to bed early in order to get more sleep. “I love your family.” I whispered against his chest as we laid in bed.  

“That's convenient.” He pressed a kiss against my forehead.  

The next day, we spent some time in the house, but had to rush to the airport in the afternoon.  

“When are you going to tell me where we're going?” Chris asked as we entered the airport.  

“I’d like to keep it a complete secret,” I answered. “Until an airport employee accuses me of kidnapping or something, I’m not spilling.”

It was all carefully planned. I gave Chris earplugs and somehow, he still didn’t know out destination as we entered the plane. I couldn’t make him wear earplugs during the safety training, so that was where he found out.

“Why are we going to Houston?” he seemed a bit confused. I just shrugged, so he knew I wasn’t going to say anything.  

Chris was a bit desperate to find out what was going on. He kept saying that it’s his birthday and I should tell him. Then he tried to bribe me with sexual favours, which also did not work out. To be honest, I thought he would’ve had it figured out by now, but he still was clueless.  

I had it all prepared – we drove to the hotel and then to the NASA Space Center, where I not only booked us a trip around the center, but also paid for it to be open for 3 more hours, so we could have a private tour and then, after it gets dark, use some of the telescopes.  

“You have got to be kidding me, Emilia.” Chris blurted out as I put a NASA cap on his head. “That is so fucking awesome.”

He was like a child in Disneyland. No, scratch that. Chris was acting like himself in Disneyland. I loved the fact that it was thanks to me and he was actually enjoying himself. He was such a fucking dork and I loved every second of it.  

Chris kept asking questions to our guide and I was actually stunned by the knowledge he already had.  

I’m getting him a meeting with Neil Degrasse Tyson next year.  

@daybreak96 @coffeebooksandfandom @smilexcaptainx @betinalunardi @rollinsuh @lily2089@stella2445 @hy-pocrite @l0rd-disick @beholdoritou @klaussstilinski@achishisha@givenchymercury @just-trying-to-survive-marvel @henry-cavill-gossip-girl @rock-titties @bombsandsparkles @marvel-fan23 @cap-just-said-language @blackaestheticislife @justsomemarvelspam @nerdchester17 @shyofaspark @cssrogersse@crispyearthquakezombie@ultragalaxy @bit-of-a-timelord @kingofallthingsz @morguleth@calicokitkat @areelphony@gemgemswift @donut-crazs @dontchawishyouknewhowtosalsa@kandomeresbitch @deafeningpsychicpandahands @severely-theoretic @chmedic @patzammit@winterssoliderss@metalarmlover @saturnki @sammyjammy92

[redheadedramblings]

Home (one shot)

Title: Home (one shot) Paring: Bucky x reader words: 4497 Summary: You and Bucky get captured warnings: some blood, fluff, swearing, some sass A/N: So i haven't written a one shot in a while, I had this story in my drafts and just got around to finishing it so here it is! I am not sure if i like the ending or not, please tell me what you think! Also side note, this story goes along with this other oneshot i wrote too, be sure to read that one as well!

masterlist

You moaned in annoyance and laid your head back over the top rail of the metal chair that you were currently strapped into. Your head was killing you, you weren’t sure what drugs they gave to you when they knocked you out but what ever it was hurt like a bitch. The bright flickering lights didn’t help you either, the constant flashes were making you feel nauseous and woozy. Shifting in your seat you tried to adjusted yourself but there was nothing comfortable about both of your wrists being tightly restrained on the armrests. The old metal chair was uncomfortable and your butt hurt from sitting on the flat seat for hours. Your bare feet brushed the ground and a shiver shot through your body when your toes touched the cold floor. The air of the room was cool and dry, it felt similar to being held in an ice box. It was silent with the exception of the blinking of the bulbs and some eire sounds coming from the abandon building. The bank vault which you were being held in was old and dirty, papers and wires littered the floors and the paint was scraping off the walls. The giant round door was sealed shut from the outside no doubt locked as well. Hearing a grunt, you felt a shift on the other side of you. Sleeping beauty was finally waking up. Bucky sat behind you also restrained in a similar looking chair, the two of you were sitting back to back, the chairs touching ear to ear. You overheard a few silent cures fall from his mouth when suddenly his head shot up which made you scrunched up your face, displeased at his sudden action. “Y/N?” you heard him ask. “Y/N?” he asked again somehow knowing that you were behind him. “Y/N?” he asked again this time with panic laced in his tone. “Y/N?! Baby! Answer me! Are you alright?” You try to ignore his pleading but you finally give in after a small wave of guilt washes over you for not answering him and making him worry. “What?” you answer in an annoyed tone, not opening your eyes. “Are you alright?” he asks immediately. “Yes, God.” “Why didn’t you answer me?” “Cause I am still mad at you, this is all your fault.” He huffs out a satisfied breath and smiles at your tone, he isn’t at all mad at your attitude. On the contrary he is happy that you are okay and that the two of you are not separated. The thought of that alone makes him feel sick. “I am going to get us out of here, I promise.” you hear him say in which you just hum in reply. He grunts and you feel him move around in the chair behind you. “Your arm is trapped in a thingy isn’t it?” you breath out. “How did you know that?” he asked smiling looking down at his left hand that is trapped in some sort of metal contraption. “Its something I would do if I was trying to contain you.” you laugh. “We have to get out of here.” “Yea go ahead and try, nothings going to work. I have tried everything.” Almost like instinct you knew he was trying to fiddle with the locks on his wrists seeing if he could break free. “I’ve already tried that, honey.” you say in a low voice in which he sighs. “Do you got any other ideas?” you could hear that he was getting slightly irritated. “Yea, shutting up and waiting for them to come in and kill us.” “Y/N.” he scolds. “What?” you murmur. “Seriously?” “Yup.” you pop out the “P” at the end for effect. “You are being so difficult” “I know.” you smirked. Before he can say another word the round door of the vault begin to turn and he is interrupted by a loud metal scratching sound which makes both of you wince. Lifting your head up from where it rested you turn to see a tall man walk into the room, his hair neatly groomed. His left hand fiddling with something in the front pocket of his dress coat while the other hand rested soundlessly at his side. The mans eyes found yours and he confidently strides toward you, his clean polished shoes walking through the mess on the floor. His name was Devon Cross, probably one of the most wanted arms dealers in North America. He is responsible for countless of pointless wars and arming cartels all over the world. The team sent you and Bucky to one of his parties undercover, to find out where the next shipments of weapons were going. All was going well, both of you dressed the part, Bucky in a all black suit and you to match in a short black spaghetti string dress that blended in nicely. You worked your charm on Devon getting close to him and getting your information quite easily. It was supposed to be a quick in and out, but it didn’t turn out that way. At one point during the party Bucky was across the room from you and was practically eye fucking you while you stood there chatting with Cross. His team caught onto that and both of you were quickly outmatched and were taken to a back ally where they drugged the two of you and threw you in a car and thats how you ended up here, where ever here was. Cross approached you from the front and smiled when you looked up at him to meet his gaze. He pushed some strands of hair away from your face that had fallen out of your messy bun and looked you over. Bucky stiffened up the moment he walked up to you and his flesh hand grabbed the arm rest harshly. “Its so good to see that you are finally awake Marie, or should I say Y/N?” Devon speaks playfully. You shoot him a guilty smile and tilt your head to the side eyeing his left pocket where his fingers stayed. “Hello Cross.” “You know, you almost had me fooled for a while there. Shame, I thought we actually had something just the two of us. Its too bad that your boyfriend here had to blow your cover.” “Yea well, I am not too happy about it either.” you shrugged. “You know Y/N, if things were different you would have made a valuable asset to me. I am still more than willing to make a deal with you in exchange for your freedom.” His hands begin to caress you shoulders and he hooks a finger around one of the straps of your dress. Playing with it for a second he tugs at it and then runs another finger down your chest stopping before he reaches your breasts. Bucky is well aware of what is going on from the faint uncomfortable gasps coming from your lips. “Yea, not happening. You can take that deal and shove it up your ass.” you reply. He then abruptly back hands you across your cheek and the sounds echoes in the large room and Bucky clenched his jaw so hard he thought he would break a few teeth. “Y/N!” Bucky cried as he angrily moved around in the seat. You swing your self to the side and groan in pain, Cross was wearing rings on his fingers which you forgot about. “You better watch your mouth sweetheart, don’t want anything to happen to those pretty lips of yours” Cross pulls you in close. “These pretty lips of mine are just going to keep telling you to go fuck yourself.”   He hit you again this time with his whole fist, the impacting making your head spin and cutting the side of your face. His left hand has now come out of the pocket in his jacket and now lays at his side tightly clenched. Cross had a temper that you were warned about before you were shipped out with Barnes. You were using this to your advantage and unbeknownst to him and Bucky, you had a plan. “You hit like a little girl.” you adjusted your jaw while egging him on. Cross begins to hit you again and again, each punch gets harder and harder and your cheek begins to sting. Bucky begins to scream your name and shouts at Devon to stop but it just causes him to laugh. Devon takes one last swing at you and hits you so hard and his whole body almost falls on you, he pulls himself up and regains his balance, but not before you were able to reach your fingers into his coat pocket with out him knowing. Taking a step back from you he rubs his knuckles and strolled over to Bucky who was absolutely livid. “I am going to rip your fucking head off!” Bucky growls when Cross steps in front of him. Amused he bends down lower at eye level with Barnes. “She has a mouth on her, I’ll give her that.” he begins to rub your blood off of his ring. Your fingers begins to work and they drop down under the metal armrest. Carefully you moved your body, not making any big movements so you didn’t attract Devon’s attention. “Did you honestly think I wouldn’t recognize Shield agents when I saw them? Do you really think I’m that stupid?” Devon laughs dryly and crosses his arms in front of Bucky. His demeanor is different toward Barnes, his tone is harsher but his body language is more cautious and on alert. Cross leans in ever so slightly meeting him face to face, Bucky is hot with range and wants nothing more to rip out of the seat and tare him to shreds. The whole situation makes Devon laugh and he smiles while looking down at Bucky’s metal arm and then to the restraints. “Its really a shame that you both are going to die in here. I hope you realize that this is all your fault and you just got you and your girlfriend killed.” “You aren’t going to get away with this.” Bucky growls and stretches his neck to him as far as he can. “I already have.” Cross smiles. Devon straightens himself back up and smoothes out his coat with his hands. He shoots Bucky a shit eating grin in which he gets a low growl from the solider. Lifting the flap of the jacket up with one hand he reaches behind his back with the other and pulls out a hand gun. After waving the fire arm for a few seconds in Barnes face he finally directs it point blank at his forehead. “Alright, I’m done. I’ve have had my fun. Once I am done with you, I am going to take my time with your lady friend. Goodbye Winter Solider.” Cross shifts to one leg while pulling back the hammer of the gun. “Why don’t you just start with me first?” You urge him to you. “Why don’t you just start with me first Cross? You will have more fun with me.” “Patience sweetheart.” he smirks at the gun. “What, you don’t think you can handle it?” you mock him. He grunts and all traces of that disgusting smile has now washed away. Bucky is not amused by your insulting jabs that you are throwing at Cross and shifts uncomfortably in the metal chair. “Shut it.” he says sternly as he he grabs the gun in his palm. “Oh sorry, it seems like you didn’t strap on your balls this morning. You scared of taking out a girl?” “Fucking bitch…” he says under his breath and in a frustrated huff he marches back around to where you are seated and steps in front of you. His breath dangerously close to your face, but you had him exactly where you wanted him. He rams muzzle of the gun into your forehead and grits his teeth at you, and you blink your eye lashes playfully at him. “Night sweetheart.” he growls. His finger hovers over the trigger and right before he gets a chance to fire you spring out of the seat and knee him as hard as you can in the stomach. Grabbing his wrist you knock the gun out of his hands and it falls to the floor, you loop around him and bend his arms behind his back and kicked his knees out from under neath him. The two of you fall to the floor and he kicks you off of him and eyes the gun that is now laying a few feet away. You click your tongue at him and he crawls toward it, you are faster however and you kick the firearm out from his fingers. Walking in his direction you grab a metal pole that is laying on the ground, he whirls around on his knees and looks up at you. With one swift motion you smack Cross as hard as you can across the head with the pole and his body falls to the ground at your feet. Looking down at his body you wait a few seconds just to make sure he wasn’t going to get up, although you doubted it since you hit him pretty hard. “Y/N! Y/N! Are you alright?” you hear Bucky calling for you. The poor man was facing the other way the entire time and couldn’t see what you were doing, he could only hear it. Watching your step on the ground you rush over to him and he instantly begins to pull in his restraints once he sees you in front of him. “Are you alright?” He asks. His eyes desperately scan your face and he sees the red scratches on your cheeks from where Cross had just whacked you. The bruises and cuts on your face makes his blood boil and he is no longer worried about his cuffs, he is more concerned with your injuries. “Yea, I’m okay hon. Looks like you just broke your promise.” you smirk as you turn to get Bucky’s mental arm out of the special restraint. You used the metal bar in your hand to pry the contraption open and he slid his arm out with ease. “How did you get loose?” His eyes widened as he looks at you in amazement. “I grabbed the keys out of his pocket when he was smashing my face.” you spoke proudly as you twirled the key ring around your finger. “How did you know the keys were in his pocket?” You free his flesh hand from the handcuff with the keys. “Well it was a 50/50 chance, but he was the one who hand cuffed me before he threw me in the back of that limo, so I just assumed that he still had the keys in his pocket. I noticed that he was fidgeting with them when he walked in here.” “What if you had been wrong and the keys weren’t there?” Bucky raised his eye brow at you and stood up from the seat and took a step forward. “Then this whole night would have ended a lot differently and I would have gotten punched in the face for nothing.” you laughed as his hands found your face. “Your ridiculous, but I am glad it worked.” he puffed out. His flesh hand begins to stroke your face and his fingers trace the cuts going down your cheek. The touch feel good, gentle, the feel contrasting from what you have been getting all night. His eyes look dark, he is beaten up too, his hair is not longer sleeked back anymore and his tie is askew and dirt covers the both of you. “I’m alright, lets just get out of here. I want to go home.” You lean forward and whisper to him. He nods and lets go of you. Bucky walks to the door while you inspect a small wooden table in the room for anything that may be used for your escape. Hearing a loud smack you quickly turn to see Bucky holding an unconscious Devon up by the collar of his shirt with his fist raised about to lay another punch on his face. “Bucky.” you scold. “What?” he asks all innocently. “Was that necessary? The guy is out cold!” “He hit you! Thats what he gets!” “Give it a rest will you? He is not going to be up for a while!” you argue and Bucky drops Cross and his limp body falls hard on the ground with a thud. “Jesus…” you whisper while rolling your eyes. Turning back to the table you find your black heals and you meet Bucky by the huge door. He hands you the gun that was on Cross with another clip and you grip it firmly as he pushes the door open. With a creek the door opens and the two of you pop your heads out and insect the hallway to see if there is anyone coming. Nodding at him, he steps out first and motions you to follow him signaling to you that the coast is clear. Barnes begins to walks down the flickering hallway and you bend down, trying to slip your heals on your feet. A guard rounds the corner and Bucky is quick to put him in a head lock killing him and lays his body on the ground. While you still struggle to get your feet back into your shoes he looks back at you. “Come on Honey.” his voiced filled with sarcasm. “Okay! Hang on! Let me get my heals on first.” you shoot back. “Do you really have to do that now?” he questions. “Yes. I don’t want to walk bare foot around here, the floor is filthy!” you argue and he scoffs. Clicking your heals on the ground you walk up to the guard on the ground and you take a large assault file off of him and with out looking hands Bucky the hand held. “Why do I get the girly gun?” he gazes at you with betrayal in his eyes. “Cause I want the big gun.” “I killed the man, I should get his gun.” “Well I took one for the team and got my face jacked up so I think I deserve to get the bug gun.” “No it doesn’t work like tha—“ He is about to argue more when another guard rounds the corner. You raise the rifle up and fire and he drops instantly. Bucky flinches and holds his right ear with his hand and pushes his lips together. “Did you have to shoot your gun right in my ear?” he begins to wiggle his finger around. Shrugging you brush past him and the two of you walk down the hallways, not really sure where you are going. Occasionally a guard or two would show up and Bucky would always be on them before you could even get a chance to attack. “So what, you aren’t going to let me have any fun here?” you dropped your shoulders in disappointment. “I am now deaf in one ear because of you.” he grabs a clip off of a guards belt and loads it into his gun. “Oh your fine, stop being such a baby. It wasn’t even that loud.” After a while you finally reach a door and you stand there, the two of you look at each other and Bucky harshly kicks it open. The two of you jump out on high alert about to sprint when you simultaneously stop in your tracks. You were greeted with at least a few dozen men, they were loading huge crates in trucks. Guards were crawling around the perimeter carrying huge pieces in their arms. The moment the door slammed against the wall everyone stopped and all eyes met you and the Winter Solider now free. The court yard now became silent and you could hear your heart beating in your ears. “Oh shit.” you whispered. “Thats not good.” he muttered back to you. “Run!” you yelped and the two of you ran as bullets flew over your heads. * The car ride back was long, turns out you were further away from New York than you thought. You were riding in a mini van that you and Bucky had “borrowed” from an unlucky family, but you needed it to get back home safely to yours. Hours had passed since you had escaped, you and Bucky had to shoot your way out of there and it wasn’t pretty, but you made it out alive. In the first hour you had contacted the team and told them what happened, you briefed them and gave them the location of the black sight that you had been held at. Curled up in the passenger seat, you reclined the chair all the way back and laid down while Bucky drove. He had draped his suit jacket over you for the cold air that was leaking though the bullet holes of the windshield. The car had looked like it had gone though hell, holes littered the doors and shattered most of the windows and the engine was making a funny sound. Arriving into the city you pulled up back to the facility and there was a team waiting for you on sight. Bucky turned off the car and you sat up from your spot and put your arms though the Bucky’s jacket. Grabbing your heals you exited the car and winced, your body was already beginning to stiffen up. Steve came running from out of a hanger and approached the two of you as you leaned onto the hood of the car. “Jesus, are you guys alright? You look like hell.” He grabs on your shoulder and you tilt your head. “Yea we’re alright Stevie, just exhausted.” Steve gives you a squeeze and turns to Bucky for reassurance. “Really pal, we are okay.” “Okay, go get some rest alright? We will take care of the rest. Don’t worry about it.” Steve lets go of you and Bucky grabs you and pulls you close to him. A group of medics march in your direction but you brush them off with your hand and insist that you are okay. Shivering you rub your arms as a gasp leaves your mouth and your breath can be seen in the air. Barnes loops his arm around you and the two of you walk in side. Fatigue fills your body as you walk down the hall to the living quarters and open the door to your apartment, Bucky follows and shuts the door behind him. Dropping your heals to the ground you take a look around and squint your eyes seeing a light on in the hall. Rubbing your neck you are about to take a step forward when you hear the pitter patter of small feet running down the hall. “Mommy! Daddy!” You hear your four year old squeal. Bending down your daughter flings herself into your arms and wraps her arms around your neck. You let out a small whimper of pain but it all goes away when you inhale her scent in her hair. Holding her for a moment you trail your fingers over her tiny body and close your eyes. Lifting her up you spin around to face your husband and your daughter Eleanor begins to bounce in your arms at the sight of him. “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” she laughs and Bucky grabs her out of your arms, she wraps her little legs around his waist and he holds her tight. Inching closer to your husband he pulls you in and squeezes the two of you close to his heart in what he likes to call and “family sandwich”. “What are you doing up so late hon? Its really late you should be in bed! Wheres Aunt Wanda and Uncle Vision?” you ask your daughter. “Asleep with George.” she points to the large bed room. “I couldn’t sleep, I was waiting for mommy and daddy to come home!” Smiling you creep down the hall and open the door slightly to see Wanda and Vision spread out on your bed fast sleep. Your eight month old son sleeping soundly in between the middle of the pair with his arms over his head. Silently you call Bucky to come over and look and he pops his head in to look. “Oh god. He must have been a hand full for them.” he whispers. “He was very fussy while you were gone daddy.” Eleanor looked up at Bucky. Your son always got anxious when you weren’t around and and it was nearly impossible to get him to sleep every night, especially in the care of others. Wanda and Vision had offered to watch the kids when you and Bucky were on assignment, the kids must have worn them out. Gently closing the door you shut it carefully making sure not to wake them up. “Okay, its time for you to go to bed honey.” you poke your daughters side and she smiles. “Its time for all of us to go to bed.” Bucky corrects you. You walk to the laundry room while Bucky carries Eleanor into the guest room and begins to make the bed. Unzipping your dress and taking off your bra, you throw it on one of the drying racks and you quickly dig through the dryer and pull out clean pajamas for you and your husband. Yawning you throw the over sized shirts over you and walk back to the guest room and hands Bucky’s his night clothes to change in. Eleanor is already tucked in the bed and you crawl on one side of her and she curls up to your chest. Wrapping your arms around her you tuck your nose into her hair and place kisses all over her head. With her knees tucked up to her chest, her eyes shut and you squeeze her closer to your breasts. A familiar feeling washes over you, as you hold her. A feeling you first felt five years ago when you laied in that exact position when Eleanor in your womb. Bucky walks back in a few moments later and Eleanor is already passed out in her mothers arms. Bucky walks over to the bed and lifts up the sheet and slides in and snuggles up close to his girls. Pulling the covers up on the two of you he smiles and kisses Eleanor on the head and swings his arms around you. Moving his face in closer he carefully caress your cheek and your eyes flutter shut at his touch. You looks into his tired eyes, finally you are home, you didn’t have to worry anymore and you were surrounded by the people you loved the most. Smiling to yourself your breathing slowed and you drifted into a peaceful sleep.

[neurodivergentchaosking]

Loving someone with NPD

It fucking sucks! I have bpd and if i was completely untreated, i would have been narcissist chow...more than i already was.

I have pretty decent intuition but it took a long time for me to actually follow it. I met (lets call her Mary) before i listened to it and created a huge blindspot that took me 6 years to fix.

We both arrived on Okinawa Island 24 hours a part, we shared a name and a birthday ( naturally my dumb ass was like OMG SOULMATE- after i stopped hating her). when i first met her, i hated her. I knew she was two-faced and i said so to her face. Few drunken weekends set that unfortunate Trauma bond in place. 

I felt so special. She's two-faced and cruel to everyone but ME. my BPD ate that shit up. she even told me that she thought i was the category of “bimbo friend” until she got to know me.....and i actually took that as a compliment and mentally lorded it over her bimbo friends. it was a disaster.                           love-bomb, cruelty, rinse, repeat.

We were just friends at first, she thought she was straight, and i thought i was a girl- neither are true. We kissed once in a drunken haze and it was absolutely terrible, so it really never happened again. you know justgirlythings. 

I was quite notorious (just because im built like a coke bottle and was put into the marine barracks and you know how boot lickers be) on the island because the Navy is just high-school 2.0. Mary never had my back through it all, she stayed friends with the people who started it and she ditched me all the time at her convenience . I was only on the island for 6 months, and right when i almost cut things off with Mary, i left on an expedited transfer (another tragic story for another tragic time). We stayed in contact via snapchat but honestly we didnt talk much.

Her bf was a bit of a loser and she was planning to leave him while planning their life together...look at that, another red flag that i took as a compliment because she left him for ME. fuck im so needy #narcissistchow. 

I made a joke about her living with me, and she just went full throttle with that shit. So we got an apartment together, twas the beginning of the end and i fucking KNEW IT. i felt it in my gut and i remember thinking...but she’s so mean sometimes... like whyyyyyy dont i just listen to me???? ug anyways

Right before we got the apartment she released my cat into the urban wilderness and he was GONE, presumed dead. Quinn, my beautiful fur-baby, a 13 lb maincoone, fucking HATED HER, and he only hated dicks. so yeah she got rid of him and blamed it on my husband (my life is complex okay). we were obviously not doing great and i didn't think about it too hard until later (even though he has never left the door open, like ever).

It started out so much fun! the adventures and stories that we created together were amazing. she made me feel like it would be like this forever. Bit short-lived.  she would insult, demean, and play fucked up mind games. Luckily for me she didn't get to feed of my pain the way she wanted because i don't exibxit vulnerable emotions (working on that), despite them eating away at me. 

Her toxicity mirrored the way i was treated as a child, so i did what i did as a child. i shut down. I stopped therapy because i was masking too hard for it be helpful. i stopped my medications because idk if they're working because I'm so disconnected. My ocd tendencies that i got rid of as a child came back. Im never not high on MJ (still am because i don't want to FEEL)

And you know why i stayed? because she made me feel special, and wanted, and even more so needed. She is so fucking insecure and i was a constant source of validation and love. we had conversations and conversations about how we were meant for one another and the future we would create together. We even talked about the children we would raise together. we talked about how it was weird that we didn't want to fuck each-other (she looks like an incest muppet lmao) but we were in a beautiful (toxic*) polyamorous asexual relationship.

i was def not perfect in the relationship. i would do so much petty shit (like i did as a child). she would make me feel shitty about something, so i would show off one of my many talents that also was one of her many insecurities. hell, i would fuck up her hair ON PURPOSE. She had this insanely long blue hair that ended in a short red Karen cut lmao i am such a fucking asshole lmao. no regerts

but like also lets not forget the times she literally threatened to murder me....just saying. i may have been a dick, but she DESERVED it.

She kept treating me like shit and i did the non-traditional BPD thing and started setting boundaries for myself. like when she starts being a jerk, just walk away. just leave. also make her jelly with something to feel better lol.obvi that made her MEANER. so i took her out to eat and told her that she was treating me like absolute shit and it needed to sop...she starts bawling...making up shit about how her anxiety this and that and she's not gonna stop being a cunt so shel just move out.

idk why i even tried after that lunch but like whatever. i even sold her my car at a discount price - but now she has the perma reminder lol. i tried. she kept changing the date of her leaving, she just got meaner, and what FINALLY made things click. was she started ditching me and lying about it ( i may have tested it out and made her confess to it without her knowing- she is incredibly stupid). that was the one thing. the one thing i told myself if someone does that to me again, im done. so heyyy at least i stuck to my boundary even though i almost talked myself out of it. so i simply stopped talking to her. for WEEKS. she tried to start conversation, i ended them. she insulted me and i would flip it on her. i was DONE and she knew it. so our 6 year relationship literally ended by me in person ghosting her.

Finally the lease was up and that kinda forced her stupid ass into moving, however. she like half left and half left her stuff. but she left ferret shit fucking everywhere. on the deck, in the closet, smooshed into carpet, random bits of poo strewn about the room. shes fucking Nasty. i cleaned up the ferret poops with her clothes that was left behing...and i rubbed it on EVERYTHING including her dishes. i broke a couple items (some on accident even). stole a bunch of stuff...even a dead mans gift...yeah im PETTY... but i stacked all of her shit at the enterence of the apartment.

Time for pickup! she allotted herself 1.5 hours to pack everything and go to her new apartment that is 45 plus mins away. she comes in- overly exaggerates on thanking me for stacking her shit by the entrance. i immediately ask for the keys ...says okay but then “got distracted”, we did that 3 times till she finally gave me the keys... then i told her about the ferret poo and she claimed that she was gonna clean it today...BITCH IT TOOK ME OVER 3 HOURS FOR THE POOP CLEANUP ALONE...so yeah fuck her.

later that day i hang out with my new friend, lets call her Anna, who is on Marys snapchat- while Mary was putting her stuff in storage (something she swore shed never do) she was saying how pissed she is and how horribly i am for stacking her shit at the entrance. glad to see she's as two-faced as ever.

POST BREAKUP DRAMA:

1) she tried to get rid of everything i gave her but she cant unbuy my car lmao.

2) she got stranded in Texas because she ran out of gas....even though the car tells you how many miles it has before it runs out...like i said, she incredibly stupid 

3) she tried to slither in my life by sending a pic via snap to Anna and then said “oops my finger slipped” ummm its snapchat and thats not how it works stupid ( and this is one of her go to ploys so like lol why?) it was also a pic of a boot that she gave me but its ugly so i gave it back. idk what her whole plan was but it backfire because Anna just blocked her.

4) Quinn came back <3

5) i am obsessed and cant seem to stop stalking her so now imma try just being crazy in blog form to see if my needy bpd self can CHILL. cuz ug i just want to stab her...like 37 times...in the face (it would be an improvement)

[jeromeswifu-blog]

Ian Gallagher - In Between

Summary: Ian can't decide if hes straight or gay and his friend Mari decides to help him find out Pair: Ian Gallagher and Mari Fandom: Shameless US I walked over to the Gallagher while they were hectic with some bad (really bad) issues. They were still like family especially Ian, I had known him since middle school and I was the first person to know he was gay. But lately he's been acting strange and yesterday he told me a girl looked hot. Thats fucking weird if your a gay male! I knocked on the door and Lip answered. He was smoking a cancer stick "You know you don't have to knock Mari." Lip said letting me in, "I know but its impolite to not. Is Ian here?" I asked looking up at him since he's taller. Yeah hes in our room, Lip left and sat down at the table. I walked to their room and knocked on the door politely. Despite living in the south side I was still rasied in a polite family. "Come in!" I heard Ian call from the otherside, I opened the door and saw him relaxing on his bed doing homework. "Hey ginger what ya doing?" I said hoping on the bed. "Math homework, I don' get any of this shit!" I laughed. And moved to sit next to him looking at what he was doing in math. Despite the fact I was the same age as Ian I was a year ahead since I skipped a grade. "Oh thats not hard--" "Mari can we talk?" Ian cut me off. I nodded "Of course what about?" He looked down shyly, "Ian you know you can tell me anything right?" He nodded. "Mari I'm really confused. Because I like guys...a lot but lately I've been getting attracted to woman and their...parts." He said looking down. "Maybe your bi-curious." He looked up at me. "Whats that?" He asked me "Its when a person like one sex but they have some sexual or romantic feelings for the other sex but their feelings for the other sex in your case men is stronger." He looked at me with his red eyebrows furrowed. "That does sound like that...maybe you could help me found out." He said scooting closer to me. "How can I do that?" I asked looking at him weird "Just see if when you do things that maybe are sexual if I get turned on." He said putting his hand on my  thigh. I looked at him  with wide eyes and then smiled. I have to admit I might have a small crush my ginger haired friend, honestly I was kinda sad when he told me he was gay. Its always the hot ones my mom told me. "Well what kinda sexual things do you want me to do." I asked leaning into him. "Surprise me." He said smirking. I smiled and got up from the bed, "Lets start simple" I said I stood up in front of him as he leaned back using his hands as support. I started slowly taking off my shirt throwing it on the ground next to me. I had a nice body not to brag, I was a little curvy with a pitete frame along with being skinny.

I smiled looking at him as his eyes trailed down "Do you like looking at this?" I asked he looked up at me "Its nice." he immediately went back to looking at m body. "Whats next?" He asked as his smirk grew larger. I smiled looking at him I let my hands go down my body the shorts I was wearing. I smiled at Ian as he intensly watched me un button and unzip my shorts pulling them down. Leaving me complete in my underwear. I'm so happy I decided to wear my black laced matching underwear! Ian nodded smirking looking at me "That gonna come off? He asked me smirking. "Do you want it to?" I asked back. He nodded slowly I crawled back onto the bed sitting infront of him again. "Take it off me." I said putting my hand on his. He let out a sexy chuckle and his hands went to my bra, I felt his chest against mine as he got closer to unhook my bra. My breath hitched, was I really doing this with Ian? Hes one of my best friend and I'm stripping in front of him. I heard my clamps unhook. My bra fell of and Ian moved back words looking at my somewhat small breast. "Now thats fucking great." He laughed a little bit. I blushed looking down "You don't think they're too small?" He laughed again "Honey their perfect. Now do I get to take off your panties?" I looked at him shocked. I'd never seen this side of Ian...kinda perverted. "If you want to..." I said smiling. Is this really happening? "Well stand up then." He said with his happy smile. I stood up and his hands immededitly went to my underwear but I placed my hands on top of his stopping him from taking them off. He looked up at me confused "Whats wrong....am I going to far?" He asked. I smiled at him "No its just...are you sure about this because if you take off my underwear I might not be able to control myself." I said. He looked up at me "Mari the truth is I really like you more than a friend...I always have but I thought I was gay and I was so confused and...I want this." I took my hands off his "Go ahead...I trust you Ian." He smiled up at me and took off my underwear. I sat down and spread my legs for him, he looked smiling at me making me blush. "Stop starring..." I said shyly. He laughed "I can't you just too beautifual." He said "You know it isn't fair." I said. "What isn't fair?" He asked confused "I'm naked and your fully dressed!" I said. He went to take off his shirt but Lip yelling interruped "Hey I'm gonna go out be back in a few hours!" He yelled and then we heard the front door slam shut. Ian looked at me "We're alone...wanna fuck?" I laughed at his bluntness. "Sure..." He instantly pulled me close and I gasped. He pulled me into a soft kiss but it eventually got rougher and more passionate. I moaned into the kiss and I felt Ian grab my bare ass making me gasp. He took the time to shove his tongue in my mouth claiming it as his own. 'He knew he was so dominant...' I thought. (Mickey knows) I started to take off Ian's shirt when his phone rang. "Don't answer it." I whispered against his lips. "I won't.." He helped me get off his shirt and as soon as it was off I went to his belt and started on getting his pants. A voicemail started to play "Hey Ian its me Micky I'm gonna come over later...I'll see you in like 2 hours later man be ready for me." The voicemail ended. "He's coming-" "We got two hours baby..don't worry thats enough." He said calming me down. I couldn't get this guys belt fucking off! "Having trouble?" He smirked I glared up at him. He stood up undoing his belt and pulled his pants off. He was left in his boxers, and I could see his erection in it. I went to him rubbing it slowly "What do you want me to do handsome..." I asked. He groaned feeling my rub it "I want you to get down on your knee's and let me use that pretty mouth." He said in a deep voice. I got down on your knees and pulled his boxers down and his hard dick went into my face. I started rubbing it "Your so big..." I said blushing. He chuckled I licked the tip of his hard dick. And slowly, slowly took it into my mouth. I hallowed out my cheeks slowly bobbing my head up and down. I heard him groan as I bobbed my head faster. He pulled my brown hair back into a ponytail using it to make me go deeper on him. He groaned again and then used my ponytail to make me stop sucking him. "Alright your turn." He smirked. He picked me up since he is much stronger then me and threw me (gently) onto the bed. He crawled onto the bed and spread my leps lowering his hand, "Mmm your so wet.." I felt his tongue flick my clit and I moaned. He started licking my folds "Ah...Ian your so good..." His tongue lapped in my folds as his finger found its way to my clit. "Ian! mmm god I'm gonna cum..." But the jerk stopped. "No, the only way your cumming is around my dick babygirl." He said crawling on top of me. As soon as his face got near mine I pulled him into a passionte kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he poisitioned himself to my entrance. He quickly shoved himself in, me being a bit tight around him. He groaned out feeling my walls, he started pumping in and out of me at a normal pace. Our lips were still locked intamitly. I wrapped my legs around his waist pulling him deeper inside me "You ever fuck a girl before?" I asked "Nope, but I've watched porn so I should know the basics." He said smugly. He started kissing my neck biting at parts on the way down his hands grabbed my breast. I moaned feeling an intense plesaure as he took his time with every part. "Ah...go faster." I moaned. He startd puming into me a lot faster making me let go of his neck  and grip the bed sheets. I felt my orgasm comeback into veiw,  I could tell he was close too. "Ian I'm close!" I moaned loudly. "No, wait I want us to cum together baby" He said in a deep voice. Fuck I loved his voice. He started pounding into me hard and faster the both of us we're moaning mess. "Ready Mari...cum cum for me baby!" It didn't take me long, my orgasm was big. I clenched around his hard (amazing) dick. Ian finally let out a long groan as his thrust got more sloppy. He gave two hard thrust and I felt his hot cum go into my body.  I pulled him into a kiss wrapping my arms around his neck

He flipped off of me grabbing the cover to his bed. He lazily threw it over me and him "Do you want me to leave?" I asked. He looked at me confused "Why would I want that?" He asked me back. "I just didn't know if you wanted me to stay...can I stay?" He nodded smiling. He put his arm around me and I rested my head on his chest along with one of my hands. "That was nice..." I said breaking the ice. "Yeah it was..." Ian replied smiling "Wanna do it again?" I smiled and went to nod but then I thought about something, Micky. "Aren't you with Micky?" You asked. "No...I-I don't know he says were just fucking and honestly I don't just want to be fucking someone." Ian said looking at me. "I'm not opposed to doing more then just fucking..." I said shrugging. Ian laughed "Good, because I wasn't gonna give you a choice. Now Micky's gonna be here in like 30 minutes you might want to hop in the shower, you smell like me." I nodded got dressed and walked to the bathroom running into Lip on the way. "I thought you left." I said he smiled "Well I was going to but then I heard moaning from my brothers room and you had just went into it so I decided to stick around." He said laughing and walked toward his and his brothers room. Just my fucking luck.

[saturnsovereign]

all!! the!! questions!!

XD

1. Last kiss- my gf

2. Last phone call- my sister actually

3. Last text message-yes baby i promise i’m ok

4. Last song you listened to- Say You Will by Hearts & Colors

5. Last time you cried- a few days ago 😅

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice- umm, yes? ish? i mean like i had to break it off with someone twice so i guess?

7. Been cheated on- nope

8. Kissed someone & regretted it- not immediately after, but yeah

9. Lost someone special- no

10. Been depressed- hell the fuck yeah

11. Been drunk and threw up- nope

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:

12. had sex- yeah 😆

13. How many people have you had sex with this year? one person

15. Made a new friend- not yet

17. Laughed until you cried- i think since the new year, once bc of my siblings

18. Met someone who changed you- not yet

19. Found out who your true friends were- alright i’ll just talk about 2017 and some 2018 but yeah

20. Found out someone was talking about you- i don’t think so?

26. What did you do for your last Birthday- My gf came up to surprise me and we cuddled the whole day 

27. What time did you wake up today- around 7ish

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for- nothing comes to mind tbh

30. Last time you saw your all of your siblings at the same time- yesterday

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life- i were better

32. What are you listening to right now- Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney

33. When is the last time you had sex? two days ago

34. Who’s getting on your nerves right now- that i’m basically broke and i don’t have a lot of money

35. Most visited webpage- this hellsite or youtube

36. Favorite colour- purple

37. Nicknames- what son calls me

38. Relationship Status- taken

39. Zodiac sign- capricorn

40. Male or female- woman

41. Primary school- St. Mary’s

42. Secondary School- Bowditch

43. High school/college- SMHS and Stan

44. Eye color- Dark Brown

46. Height- 5′2

47. Do you have a crush on someone- on my gf

48. What do you like about yourself- 

49. Piercings- pierced ears but i don’t have anything in them

50. Tattoos- none

51. Righty or lefty- Right

FIRSTS:

53. First piercing- ears

54. First best friend- There was apparently one in philippines that i don’t remember but i remember my first best friend coming to the US. Her name was Melanie

55. First hookup- if you’re talking about sex its my gf but idk if thats really what you’d call a hookup

56. First Bestfriend- ?

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating- nothing

60. Drinking- water

61. I’m about to- go on a jog

62. Listening to- Story of My Life by One Direction

63. Waiting for- school to start

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids? yeah

65. Get married? hopefully to my gf

66. Career- nurse

WHICH IS BETTER:

67. Lips or eyes- Eyes

68. Hugs or kisses- Hugs bc when my gf and I weren’t out, that was the only thing that we could do

69. Shorter or taller- taller bc stuff is hard to reaaachhhhh

70. Older or Younger- idk what this is asking specially?

71. Romantic or spontaneous- can’t something be romantic and spontaneous?

72. Nice stomach or nice arms- arms, they hold me

73. Sensitive or loud- if my gf is sensitive she also tends to get loud ;D

74. Hook-up or relationship- relationship

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger- nope

77. Drank hard liquor- no

78. Lost glasses/contacts- my glasses were fuckin split in half once

79. Had sex- yes

80. Broken someone’s heart- yeah :/

82. Been arrested- technically?

83. Turned someone down- yeah

84. Cried when someone died- those that have died that i know have never really been close to me so no

85. Fallen for a friend- yeah XD

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself bahahaha nooooo

87. Miracles- my gf exists, also she’s dating me for some reason

88. Love at first sight- crush at first site

89. Heaven- to an extent

90. Santa Clause- nah XD

91. Kiss on the first date- depends on when you go on your first date

92. Angels- once again, my gf exists

93. How would you label yourself?  bi/gay

94. Someone You Pray Everyday For- i don’t pray everyday

95. Did you sing today- yeah i was singing when i was driving

96. Who From All Your Ex’s have You Cared The Most About my first ex

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? 6th grade? if not then maybe sophomore year

98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For- a future with my gf

99. Are you afraid of falling in love?- no but thats all thanks to gf

100. Do you like the way you look?- not really

[hamitrashcan-blog]

This is a conversation between Mary Jefferson and yourself, Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes. Mary Jefferson : ((OHMY FUCKING GOD)) hELLO Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : ((I'm always online child )) Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : ((As Turned into a woman Hercules Mulligan or Turned into a baby Alexander Hamilton )) Mary Jefferson : ((aH that's some interesting cool au shit right there)) Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : ((And Mute!Puppeteer! Aaron Burr )) Mary Jefferson : ((Im like trying to picture this woah tHAT WOULD BE ACTUALLY REALL COOL and burr would be over dramatic af)) Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : ((Hes calm and sign language) Mary Jefferson : ((smh im a rat he's obviously cAlm but is he s a l t y)) Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : (Salty Mute. And also Going to a duel Angelica Hamilton and Hamilsmol George Washington!)) Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : ((I rp too many people)) Mary Jefferson : ((I think rp is pretty cool tbh)) dAD hey dad so do you know what chemical ice is Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "No I dont." Mary Jefferson : o h n o Philip was talking about it and I WANT SOME Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Take some of our Money and get your own " Mary Jefferson : But I don't even know what it is??? It's obviously ice bUT IN WHAT FORM Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Search it up " Mary Jefferson : too much work I don't want to I just want the i c e with c h e m i c a l s Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Buy it. You keep wanting things." Thomas gives Mary $100 Mary Jefferson : *tOO MANY IDEAS ARE POPPING OUT OF MARYS HEAD* thankS Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Dont use it all in once place ' Mary Jefferson : I wOooOnt ok I'll buy you an ugly rock or something Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "I don't need anything." Mary Jefferson : I n e e d eVERYTHING *extends arms out* let's buy the entire world Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "$100 won't buy everything " Mary Jefferson : well if it could I would buy everything Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Okay. Well go off and buy things. No pets." ((THOMAS S TI LL HAS THOSE ANIMAL PARTS OKAY?)) Mary Jefferson : ((OKAY AH)) *groaning* ugh ok *zoOMS OUT IF HOUSE SCREAMING* Mary Jefferson : *OF Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas reads a book Mary Jefferson : *Mary runs twists through the city, buying things and desperately watching through he windows of the pet store* Mary Jefferson : *the Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas makes himself Mac and cheese Mary Jefferson : *Mary sTRUGGLES to find something else to distract her, so she keeps searching, trying to prove wether chemical ice was real or not, she ran into Theo, and bought things, asking every ice cream parlor about c h e m i c a l i c e* uGh I hate the suNnnnN *the sun sets, signaling Mary that is was time to go home* you rat sun, I'll fight you one day *mary goes hooome* hEY ITS ME ITS ME ITS ME ITS ME IM BACK HELLO ITS ME Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas was asleep on the couch. Mary Jefferson : oh *grins, and pets Thomas' again* okay now this is boring *wAKES UP THOMAS AS VIOLENTLY AS SHE CAN* THE ORPAHNS ARE COMING IN THROUGH THE WINDOWS Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas snaps away "GAH WHAT WHERE NO ORPHANS BELONG HERE" Thomas looked around and saw nothing "Mary what the fuuuucdge. What did you buy?" Mary Jefferson : okay okay get ready for some fire *pulls stuff out of bags* *pulls out a ribbons* so I FINALLY found a nice shade of pastle red to go with my dresses and this lavender is gonna go perfect with one of my white dresses so??? yeah I also got *pulls out big ass sweater* my new life line Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Oh that's great, Mary. How much money do you have left?" Mary Jefferson : uh *pulls out fifteen bucks* I can only use the sold riBBONS THE WOOL ONES ALWAYS GET MESSED UP AND THEN I FIND STRINGS OF WOOL IN MY HAIR ITS NOT FUN ok I need the nicer ribbons Mary Jefferson : *THE SILK RIBBONS Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "I see. Well it's getting late. Ill give you more money tomorrow so you can go buy whatever you want. No pets " Mary Jefferson : OOOOO I SAW ANIMALS AT THE PET STORE TODAY AT IT WAS SO COOL except there was one dead bird but I mean we can't all be happy Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Dead birds? Hahaha you should've brought that home, I mean what? Go to sleep" Mary Jefferson : eW dad sTOP I WILL NOT LIVE LIKE THAT WITH YOUR DOGGY DEAD ANIMAL FETISH urgh *goes to room and changed* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "I didn't say anything, don't bring dead animals home." He's totally not hiding dead animals in the yard Mary Jefferson : ok, that's gross and anyway so *under blankets* GOODNIGHT Mary Jefferson : *goes to sleep* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas fell asleep on the couch Mary Jefferson : ~~next morning~~ hm *spills small cup of water on Thomas* UP Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : aNGRY BARKING AND WAKING UP "MARY!" Mary Jefferson : DAD! gET UP Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "whAT DO YOU WANT MARY' Mary Jefferson : *sarcatic mocking* whAT DO YOU WANT FATHER I actually don't know I just woke up and realized evolution i s real and yeah now I'm shook Mary Jefferson : *sARCASTIC Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Do you want money again? Just go get yourself a new dress or something " Thomas gave Mary $200 Mary Jefferson : oH hm let me think about this,,, *silence* what would happen if I gave a slave ten bucks- Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Youre grounded for a year " Mary Jefferson : ok nevermind bYE *is out the door again screaming* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : ((BUY DOG THINGS AND KEEP YOUR FATHER ON A LEASH. jk)) Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas works on work Mary Jefferson : *Mary is more hasty and rude because she feels powerful with 200 dollars* wATCH WHERE YOURE WALKING UGH *she wants to buy to White House. S H E W A L K S T O T H E W H I T E H O U S E* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : She can't buy the white house Mary Jefferson : *cant buy the white house* THE US GOVERMENR IS RIGGED *throws stick at ground because that helps the problem somehow???* yEA I JUST SAID THAT I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT THE DECLARATION ew these pEASENTS *Mary walks to That Beach™ And watched the waves crash down onto the sand, she immediately turned away and speed back home rather early because tHERES NO CHEMICAL ICE YET* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Welcome home what did you buy " Mary Jefferson : uhUHhUh only some dresses uh here look *pulls out dresses* that shawl *points to a shawl* came with this dress *hold up a dress* so yeah that was cool and I got *pulls out Chinese handcuffs* I got angry that's what happened then my fingers got caught in these and I decided to buy it Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Thats...not interesting." Mary Jefferson : that's because your wierd and you rUN THIS GOVERNMENT ok *falls onto couch and hugs a pillow* we need a new president Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Who Do you have in mind?" Mary Jefferson : me Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Youre too young " Mary Jefferson : RAHHH see we need to change the system Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "No we don't. " Mary Jefferson : *is forming a wall of pillows* INCORRECT just because yOU MADE IT DOESNT MEAN ITS PERFECT one of the things you made has an exception that would be *sticks out head from wall of pillows* m e Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : 'Well if you find a way to be a adult over 30 then sure be the president. But you're only six so it's impossible " Mary Jefferson : *goes back under pillows* noT FAIR Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "It is fair." Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : ((DoN't FORGET ABOUT THAT WITCH)) Mary Jefferson : ((THANK YOU FOR THAT INFO AGAIN)) that's what you think. adults are crusty and you're three so Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Madison isn't so he can run for me." Mary Jefferson : wHO WOULD RUN FOR A THREE YEAR OLD Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Madison." Mary Jefferson : *groaning* Mr. Madison looks like a ten year old either way so Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Madison doesn't look three." Mary Jefferson : but he looks ten TEN YEAR OLDS ARE WORSE Mary Jefferson : AND HES ALWAYS GOT A RUNNY NOSE ITS DISGUSTING Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas sighs annoyed "if I give you $300 will you leave?" Mary Jefferson : *explODES FROM PILLOWS* Y e S *takes money and R U N S OUT INTO FOREST LOOKING FOR THE WITCH* hey ms. Witch it's me Maryyyy remember me I'm your friends *sees witch shack* yE *runs into witch shack* uh...hi??? Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : The witch looks at Mary "What do you want now?" Mary Jefferson : I got 3 0 0 dollars, make me...32 years old, because I wanna run for president and make this countRY LIVE UP TO ITS TITLE. E Q U A L. You're a woman!!!! I could buy you stuff! aND MEN TOO BECAUSE E Q U A L I T Y Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Oh. " the witch takes the money "Its a deal." The witch makes Mary 32. Mary Jefferson : oh my god. I'm so taLL *looks down* I- oH WHY ARE THEY- ugh thanks anyway, I feel suddenly real crabby but thanks *Mary leaves the shack, and changes some other dress she found that would fit her better ((wOW))* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas was reading another book. Mary Jefferson : *Mary doesn't skip or run home. She painfully hides her excitement but keeping a straight face and a straight posture* uHhH *she opens the door* WAIT NO *cLOSES THE DOOR SHUT AGAIN* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas looks at the door "Mary?" Mary Jefferson : um,,, HOLD ON *Mary walks to the pond near the house and looks at her reflection* woah... *she was amazed and felt wierd and completely different, but she liked it.* uh *opens door* y e s Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "...mary? What the hell did you do?!" Thomas walks to Mary and looked up Mary Jefferson : iM RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "But yo- you need to learn politics " . Mary Jefferson : pSh I know enough, I have the declaration at the bottom of my closet and since I'm older, I don't have to tell you w h y it's in my closet. so ha. Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Mary how old are you now? Youre too young! !" Mary Jefferson : ...uh...............................*r e a l l y quiet* 32........ Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "32?!" . Mary Jefferson : wHa- DAD HOW OLD ARE Y O U NOW?! Y O U R E TOO YOUNG Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "I'm three but I'm not mentally! !! Youre six mentally! ' Mary Jefferson : And??? Just because I am six doesn't mean I have to a c t six Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Youre already acting six!!" . Mary Jefferson : NUH-UH Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Mary you're grounded!!" Mary Jefferson : *deep inhale, smoothens out unusually long dress* No *smiles* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "No? Mary I am your father and I demand that you go to your room now!" Mary Jefferson : no...I'm don't feel like it so....no Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Mary go to your room!" Thomas glares Mary Jefferson : *Mary feels weird having her father look a lot shorter, so she looks down and glares back at him* mmmm??? no? no. Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Mary don't say no to me!" Thomas grabbed the end of Mary's dress and tries to take her to her room Mary Jefferson : um *Mary puts more weight into her shoes and held onto the wall for more strength, she laughed as he tugged at her dress* n o, im fine right here but thanks anyway Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Mary go to your room! I forbid you to run as president! " Mary Jefferson : You can't! You're a child! And you know, *pats Thomas' head* gentleman shouldn't pull on a woman's dress that's,,,rude, impolite and vulgar Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Mary I am not a child so do not pat my head. And you are not a woman, you are a child. So go to your room!" Mary Jefferson : uhhhh...*Mary feels as if she should go to her room but she remembers: 32 > 3* nope... *backs up to door* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Mary stop saying no to me! I am your father! " Mary Jefferson : Well I'm older! Mary Jefferson : You said- you said to show respect to your elders so! Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Mary you're not older. I am. And I am your elder!" Mary Jefferson : do you have eyeballs??? I'm clearly much older Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "I am mentally older, Mary! You are still a child!" Mary Jefferson : But I'm not! You're being daft and stupid. I AM OLDER Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "I am not stupid mary! I worked with so many politics things while you just sta home and read books. " Thomas glares at Mary Mary Jefferson : Because I'm forced to! I don't want to! I would like to have a dog and take care of it and that's not easy! I want to rUN FOR PRESIDENT! And maybe- just maybe- you A R E just stupid enough that this politics, big ego and 'oh! I'm so smart! I'm Thomas Jefferson! George Washington thinks I'm a responsible person, so that makes me better than everyone!' IS LITERALLY TAKING OVER YOU AND YOU CANT EVEN *fRUSTRATION NOISES* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas stays silent for a bit and looked away from Mary and ran out the door Mary Jefferson : *Mary's fists shook with anger* DONT EVEN BOTHER COMING BACK *she slammed the door and went to scream at the pillows on the couch* aRGH Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas just kept running until he made it to the beach. He sat underneath the tree. Mary Jefferson : *Mary took blankets from Thomas' room and wrapped herself up in them. She layed down on the couch and clamped her eyes shut. She r e f u s e d to cry even if no one was around. She wasn't gonna cry over something so dumb* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas pokes the sand a bit before unwillingly breaking into tears Mary Jefferson : *Mary felt tears stinging behind her eyes* don't cry don't cry. Don't cry. D O N T C R Y *she brought the blankets closer to her face thinking it would help the sobs escaping from her lips and the tears pooling in her eyes* ...ugh... *she wiped her eyes every now and then, wrapping the blankets around her self tighter, mutter uNPOLITE things under her breath, making her cry harder* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Just a three year old crying under a tree. That's normal. Mary Jefferson : *Mary ripped the blankets off herself. She wanted to stop feeling, she wanted to stop crying, but she knew she couldn't. So she wanted to stop caring about Thomas. She looked everywhere. She couldn't find pictures or paintings anywhere. She entered her fathers room. She violently opened up a drawer in his dresser, and there it was. There were few pictures with Martha in there, there were more with Thomas and Mary, looking happy- which made Mary cry more, there was one, with Thomas and Martha holding Mary. Mary shakily grabbed it and held it to he chest. She envied her happy smile, her fathers gentle eyes and just seeing Martha got Mary emotional. She threw to picture back in the drawer* it doesn't matter anymore... Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas felt alone. His children are either dead or moved away. His daughter hates him. His wife is dead. He cuddled into his coat. It started to rain. He sighs wondering how else it would get worse. He cried more Mary Jefferson : *Mary heard the rain dripping and thunder roaring. She wondered where her father was and wether he was safe or not. He could be alone...cold...freezing...or dying. Mary hated her brain for making her think of her life without him. She covered her face in the pillow and let out sobs and shrieks not caring about who heard.* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas got up and went to the only person he had left. Madison. He knocked the door, being greeted by James. He explained what happened to him, feeling sick. Mary Jefferson : *James was concerned when Thomas came knocking, his face tear stained. Thomas began to explain his heart shattering problem and James met him in* A-are you gonna be ok? Will Mary be ok? Mary Jefferson : *let Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "I feel horrible. Mary hates me so much." Thomas cried collapsing onto his knees "I am a horrible father " Mary Jefferson : *James hugged Thomas no matter how gay it was* Thomas, relax, just try to find peace. I'm sure Mary'll get over it. It happens, and that doesn't make you a horrible father. How could you? She six and has the dream of running for president. That's pretty impressive. Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "I still feel like it. She kicked me out of my own house, James! All of my children hate me!" Thomas hugged back "I miss my wife, I miss my daughters. But they're all just gone!" Mary Jefferson : Shh, I don't think Mary hates you. I think she loves you, and misses you more than you think. People make mistakes and they get angry. I bet you, before tomorrow morning, she'll coming knocking at that door so she can see you. Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Do you think so..?" Thomas looks up at James, wiping his tears Mary Jefferson : I'm positive. *But Mary never came knocking. She was on the complete other side of the city. She ended up pounding at the Burr's door, falling too the ground crying, while hugging a confused six year old Theodosia. When Theo called for her father, he was ready to kill Mary for even looking at Theo, but once she explained her situation, she was comforted. But it didn't feel right. She was being comforted by the wrong father.* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas looks at James tearing up again "she didn't come. She hates me...." Thomas refuses to sleep. Mary Jefferson : *James felt terrible for telling all that to Thomas.* N-no...Im...I'm gonna go look for her, make she's not dea- *he took a deep breath in* I'm going to try to find her and make sure she's safe and I'll bring her back here. Ok? You, n e e d to lay down and rest. Got it? Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "I'm not tired. I just want to see my daughter..." Thomas looks down as tears runs down his face Mary Jefferson : *James exhaled* I'm gonna make sure you see her, just stay here, and don't do anything without thinking about it. I'll be back before sundown. *and James left.* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas sat down on the couch just crying. Missing his daughter and feeling guilty Mary Jefferson : I...*Mary's head titled backwards, and little Theo gave her a hug and Aaron Burr felt devastated, but couldn't imagine how Thomas felt. He looked at his own daughter and felt his heart clench* I- I don't know what to do anymore! I feel like a monster- a-an-and *Mary broke out into sobs* he looked so hurt and j-jus-st...He just ran out! *Burr couldn't here this story. Mary sounded terrible and her horrified expressions were painful to him the longer he thought about the situation* I'm...gonna go look for him. *Mary thanked the Burrs and headed out the door. She felt petrified and so much more scared of the world than she used to be. She could barley walk from her shaketh legs, and she felt like she was about to throw up. She walked to Mr. Madison's house. Tears coated her cheeks and she hoped James had any idea about where her father was. She took a deep breath. She knocked.* h-hello? Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas hears Mary. He looked at the door and looked away, assuming he's hearing things from the lack of sleep and not eating. He figured that Mary was never going to come. Mary Jefferson : *More sobs escaped from her* please... please be home? *she knocked harder and banged her head on the door. It hurt, but it couldn't compare to the shatters her heart was in.* Please! I want my dad back... *her hand continuously slapped the wooden door* I need my dad back! Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas got off from the couch and opened the door. He sees Mary and tears up and cried from joy and relief. "M-Mary!" Mary Jefferson : Mary felt nauseous and her knees couldn't hold her weight anymore. She threw her head back, and fell to the ground letting out a pained sob. She wrapped her arms around her father and hugged him. She grossly balled and sobbed and cried on Thomas' shoulder* I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! *she let in a shaken breath* I know I'm still a child, you were right! *her shoulders were shaking* I'm sorry! Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas hugged Mary back "No I'm sorry Mary. I was being a horrible father, I yelled at you. I just want you to be safe. Please don't cry, sweetie. " Thomas gave light smile at Mary "We can buy you a dog tomorrow. And I promise I won't be a horrible father, I'm so so sorry." Mary Jefferson : *Mary hugged Thomas tighter* B-but I don't need a dog! I-I- I just wanna stay with you! I don't wanna leave! I don't want you to leave! I don't...I don't wanna grow up...I wanna stay with you *she started getting the cursed hiccups* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "You have to grow up, Mary. But I promise I'll never leave again. It hurts me to see you cry. " Mary Jefferson : *Mary sniffled and wiped her eyes in attempt to stop the tears from escaping. She didn't know what to say or what to do. So she stayed there. She hugged Thomas and she didn't move.* Can we go home? Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Yes of course we can go home, anything you want " Mary Jefferson : *Mary wished she wasn't this tall. She didn't want to tower her father or 'be older'. She let go of him and smiled* ok, it's getting late either way. *Mary stood up and started walking home with Thomas* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas was still very tired. He ended up passing out half way there. Mary Jefferson : *Mary laughed and picked up her father. He was way lighter than he looked, which made her concerned about what he was eating, but she figured it was the Mac and cheese. Soon, Mary reached home and put Thomas on the couch. She gathered all the blankets she used from earlier and wrapped Thomas in them* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas snuggled into the blankets sleeping soundly Mary Jefferson : *Mary smiled in content before tears came back to haunt her. She was silent, she wasn't sobbing. She looked down at her feet and wiped her tears away with her sleeves. She couldn't tell if everything was just hitting her all so soon or she was just so happy.* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas started having nightmares of people he loves dying and hating him Mary Jefferson : *Mady heard Thomas wipering and saw him twitching. She didn't know if she would wake him up or not, but she decided not to.* Mary Jefferson : *mARY Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas tossed and turned before waking up in tears Mary Jefferson : *Mary winced in surprise at his sudden wake* are you ok...? Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas looks at Mary "I'm fine, you should go to sleep " Mary Jefferson : O-Okay. *Her fingers we're s t i l l twitching* goodnight, love you. *she hugged him before going to her room, like she should've have done days ago* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas looked at the ceiling. Shaking. He doesn't want to lose anyone Mary Jefferson : *Mary rolled her eyes and fixed up the hem on her nightgown, making it as long as it could go, which was to about her knees. She crawled into bed and hugged the sheets close. She feel asleep at some point.* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas went to check on Mary. Happy that she's asleep. He left the house to check if James was safe Mary Jefferson : *James only now realized it was actually dark. So he began trudging back home an his swollen feet. He couldn't find Mary. He wouldn't know what to tell Thomas* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas sees James and ran to him "James I found Mary, she's safe. You should go to sleep " Mary Jefferson : *James let a sigh of relief and it felt like many bricks were taken off his shoulders* I'm not sleeping till you tell me e v e r y t h i n g Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Mary came to the house crying so I talked to her. She still cares but right now she's sleeping and so should you " Mary Jefferson : *James wasn't s a t i s f i e d but he could take it* Hmm, ok. I'm going home. Good luck with Mary! *James wakes back home, his eyes ready to close* Mary Jefferson : *walks Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas sighs and walked back home. Sitting on the couch not sleeping. He didn't want another nightmare Mary Jefferson : *Mary woke up a few times throught the night, but she went back to sleep right after.* ~~next morning~~ Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas made Mary food. Mary Jefferson : *Mary bounced out of her room, sleep curing her* good morning! Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Morning Mary " Thomas smiles. He didnt sleep all night Mary Jefferson : *Mary had her slippers on and was about to start gliding across the room-* you got sleep right??? Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Of course I did" he lied "I also already ate so it's time for you to eat " Mary Jefferson : *Mary stared at him* well you clearly had a rough night and it looks like you ate these eggs staright from the shell because it sure does look like you just finished making them... Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Dont question it, Mary. Just eat" Thomas gave a smile. He haven't ate and slept at all. Mary Jefferson : *Mary started eating her food* so, *she shoved another fork fill in her mouth* I was walking around, and chemical ice, is a thing Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "It is? What does it do?" Mary Jefferson : It doesn't do much. It's like a stick but ice, and it has some sort of flavor, which matches the color. And it's put in wrapper that is so hard to open you have to raise hell to open it Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas chuckles "I see. Are you planning to get some still?" Mary Jefferson : *shrugs* I don't really know?? It's cool but I mean it's way less than I anticipated Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Oh. Well if you plan to get something just come to me " Mary Jefferson : alrighty, but I plan on living like a hermit the next two days unless something rEALLY interesting happens Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Alright. Do you plan on turning back? Or still run for president " Mary Jefferson : *Mary shifted uncomfortably in her seat* I...I don't know. I don't think I'd be a good president, wAIT maybe I can- NO NO I WANNA TURN BACK if I contradict with myself any further spray me with water or somethin Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "I think you'll be a great president " Mary Jefferson : *Mary shook her head* I don't know...I'm still too young...who would even vote for me, besides you, Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Well I'm sure a lot of people will if they understand what you're going for. " Mary Jefferson : *Mary felt like smacking herself* I guess,,,I'll do it! Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "I'll be there with you when you get elected or not!" Mary Jefferson : I suppose that's reassuring? I'm kinda scared but whatever Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Dont be scared " Mary Jefferson : hOW DO YOU JUST TURN OFF THE SCARED BUTTON ALL MY SYSTEMS ARE NERVOUS Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : "Breathe " Mary Jefferson : um well *breathes* I do that on a daily basis but *iNTENSIFIES BREATHING* Turned into a 3yr old Thomas Jefferson wearing oversized clothes : Thomas pats Mary's back "you'll be fine " Mary Jefferson : *grumbles* ok...so, who's my competition? You've left the conversation

[garrettvc]

Weed is special to me. It's the first "thing" that popped the Christian bubble that I grew up in. I thought most people were Christian, like no one was racist, like it was a nice bubble. My thoughts on weed was why would anyone willingly throw their lives away, based on media I had seen and the stereotype the general public had. I always wanted to be someone who could give good advice based on experience. So I had to try smoking so that I could tell people I've done that, don't do that and after I did, I was so amazed at how happy it made me. I always said that my best conversations with God was when I was high. This was the first time in my life I felt lied to. Especially after I researched why its illegal in the 1st place (racist) and to this day (pharmaceutical money). It made me realize that even if 95% of people believe something they can all be totally wrong. The second major time I felt lied to was a Black Studies class, where we learned American history from a perspective other than the victor. EVERYTHING made sense to me after this class. It made me angry that I had to pay for a college class to learn this material when I should be mandatory for every American. It changed almost everything about me; I knew who I was after this class. Immediately I was so upset that I was taught history from such a biased perspective and then I understood why high school was so weird for me being one of the only black kids. It made sense that they all saw me as their "favorite black person" instead of just a friend. I was raised very religious and am very thankful to my church family who has always been there for me and my family. I love my church and I love the people in it. The 3rd major time I felt lied to was when I started reading the Bible for myself. I never read it when I was younger because I thought it had a whole bunch of rules in it and I thought if I never read the rules then God couldn't hold me accountable for what I didn't know. Like how can you possibly know what you don't know, ya know? After my Black Studies class, I needed to know truth at all costs. So naturally I started reading the Bible in search for answers. I would read the Bible and take notes like it was a class. I would go visit old stories I remember and just go from there. With cell phones I loved reading the Bible. I could Google stories to find the exact Bible verse and then basically read a book from its first chapter to understand context. Technology gave me 300 translations in one app. If I was reading a verse and couldn't believe what it said I would look at it in 3 or 4 different translations like damn it really says that in every version lol. Even in church when pastor started preaching I would go into my own little world intently studying the word. Ultimately, the Bible became too difficult to defend from myself. I would try to reason my way out of things like thats the old testament, we don't live under that law anymore. God works in mysterious ways arguments. No human could ever comprehend God's fairness. But the more and more I read the closer I got to doubting it's truth. There are 3 main verses/ideas in the New Testament (countless in the old testament) that I can very easily morally disagree with. And my thoughts on the Bible is either its 100% absolute truth and God's inspired word or it was made up by humans for control. So even one verse in the Bible that is "wrong" discredits the whole for me. To prove something you need to show that it works in every case, to disprove something you only need one example. My 3 main examples are: 1 Timothy 2:11-15 1 Peter 2:18-19 Revelations 12: the whole chapter 1 Timothy 2:11-15 Read it for yourself in several translations to be sure. But what it says is God doesn't allow women to teach men or to tell them what to do. I'm reading this verse basically because of a woman teacher (and preacher) who changed my life for the better. The verse also says that she must listen quietly because Adam was made first and Adam wasn't the one who initially ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Side note: From a Christian perspective all death and suffering in the world come from humans wanting knowledge. Lil peculiar to me. From God's perspective he likes us better when we are dumb and blindly follow. I guess that's why he calls us his sheep. This verse opened my eyes to how shitty women are treated in the Bible and most religions. The Bible teaches the woman to be subservient, I can't teach that shit to my daughter. It lead to questions like who's your favorite woman in the Bible not named Mary. Or why does God have a gender in the first place when that's something assigned based on physical appearance. As ab-soul says, in 66 books they didn't let a lady say one word. 1 Peter 2:18-19 These verses are simple. It says that slaves should obey their masters. Okay, cool I guess I don't agree but I don't disagree either. Then it goes on to say that slaves should obey their master even if the master is bad to them. I can pretty easily say fuck that. As I have gotten a bachelor's degree in Black Studies, these are verses that were used during slavery to convince slaves to behave. I always wondered how masters and slaves could read the same text and interpret it so drastically different. I guess perspective is realer than reality sometimes. So I guess a black woman homosexual should be the least likely Christian American, if we actually read it. Revelations 12 I gotta say that this is my favorite chapter in the Bible. The amount that happens in one chapter is mind blowing but I disagree with this from a science perspective. And I KNOW your not supposed to talk about science and religion together but hear me out. I had no problem with Jesus miracles, I can believe in the Jonah and the whale story, I can even believe most of the chapter. Brief summary: There's a woman with the sun as her clothes and the moon under her feet. She's having a baby and Satan who has shape-shifted into a red dragon with 7 heads and 10 horns is trying to eat the baby (can't make this up). What's crazy is I'm okay with all of this, it doesn't bother me scientifically but then it says that the dragon (Satan) swept it's tail and swept (1/3) or 33.3333% of all the stars out of the sky and flung them to earth. This is so scientifically illiterate its crazy. Googles estimate of stars in the observable Universe (meaning only the ones we can see with telescopes) is 100,000,000,000 or 100 billion stars. Quick math divide by 3 and that's 33.33 billion stars being flung at earth from the devils tail in the future. Also quick astronomy lesson is the sun is an average star. Meaning there are sun's much much bigger than ours. Also our sun is 109 times larger than the earth. So basically I'm saying that if 1 star was flung at earth let alone 33 billion, then the earth would be completely engulfed not hit. The chapter makes it sound like a bunch of asteroids will hit earth. This is like the Bible saying the earth is the center of the universe, it's just wrong. I can let stuff slide all day that can't be proven like miracles but when it talks about something we know for fact, it feels like Kelly Anne Conway trying to convince me there is alternative facts, like bitch I got eyes fuck you talking bout. To put it simply the Bible is translated in English. Read it, it's not that hard. We are the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and kills over religion. In whatever way God talks to you whether it's the still small voice, that feeling of feeling led to do something or even if He appeared burning bush style. If God asked you to kill your child would you? And before you say he would never do that, think about Abraham and just try it. It's a thought experiment that made me realize morals were more important to me than "god". I dont care what anybeing says I'm not going to kill my child because something bigger than me told me to. To conclude, I'm not an atheist and I never say never but I believe I never will be. I think someone who says that they know God doesn't exist for a fact is just as crazy as someone who says that they know for a fact that God exist. I admit that I don't know and I believe it is something that can't be known. I don't really even know why I started writing this or if there's a point but it feels good to express myself in words. Weird.

The Path To Truth