#『In total got like 7 hours of sleep? but god waking up from a nightmare sucks』

[deadeyemarkxman]

『Had nightmares about being kidnapped by a couple twice. Same couple and spot.』

『How’d everyone else’s night go?』

[starglow-xx]

(About the brother!atsushi) aRE YOU READING MY MIND MISS?! Because that has been on my mind for MONTHS. TYSM For writing it was amazing!! If you don't mind, may I request (if requests are open) atsushi, still an older brother, but with a sister that's 10-13 yrs old? It's totally fine if you don't wanna do it. Keep up the good stories, ily mwuah!

*sobs* you’re so kind thank youu 🤧🤧

i wrote this a bit differently i hope that’s okay anon! at first i planned for this to be mainly abt atsushi and the reader, but i decided to add in relationship hcs with the agency bc i ran out of ideas

if you guys liked this don’t worry! im planning a special part two for this one so be the look out for it hehe

atsushi with a tween! sister

ft. the armed detective agency

like in my baby sister hcs, you’re still the most important thing to him period

the two of you got picked up by dazai and kunikida when he was 18 (obviously) and when you were 12

for a 12 year old, you were a bit small bc of malnourishment (which makes atsushi feel so bad) so both dazai and kunikida thought you were a bit younger than you actually were

they assumed you were about 9-10ish

you and atsushi both share a favorite food !! chazuke :)

so when kunikida treated the two of you, he made sure you got more bowls bc like i mentioned above, he feels really bad that you were malnourished and under weight

(don’t bring this up but kunikida felt bad too hehe)

when dazai went with your brother to the warehouse, you were with kunikida

imagine the surprise of the other ada members when kunikida came in with a little girl dressed in rags that popped out from behind him

kenji was the one who vocalized his thoughts 

“kunikida-san you have a daughter?! wow! i didn’t know that! :D”

when you found out your brother was a tiger, you were a bit concerned but you were actually kind of excited

you were even more excited when you found out the two of you were going to be taken in by the agency

anything was better than the stupid orphanage

and besides!

you got a tiger for an older brother and a bunch of other super powered agents to take care of you! who could want anything else?

at your age, you’re very impressionable and can be influenced easily so atsushi makes sure to teach you more in depth of good morals and the importance of kindness

his heart swells with pride and relief when he catches you being kind to others

pride bc he’s proud that even after all the two of you have gone through, you still ended up being a good kid and having a bright view of the world

and relief bc he hasn’t failed as a big brother

pfftt like he could ever fail

but please, from time to time reassure him that he’s perfect and the only big brother that you’d ever want bc he rlly needs that kind of validation

with his salary and savings, he tries to buy nice things for you

what a sweetheart 🥺

he saw you eyeing that one dress at a store window? fast forward abt a week and half and it’s inside a pretty gift bag for you

you wanted to try that dessert from the nice bakery? that’s dessert after dinner at one point

but other than buying you things, he sets money aside for you

like all the time

(y/n), here have this, you might need it”

“but nii-san you just gave me—”

“take it”

#1 spoiler

also your #1 confidant and source of physical affection

you tell him anything and everything (except crushies and those kinds of things)

atsushi loves it when you talk abt your day and he can see the big smile on your face and the sparkle in your eyes

it gives him the strength to keep going 😖😖

the two of you aren’t as touch starved as you’d probably think, but that’s only bc the two of you had each other

in your opinion, no one can match the hugs of your big brother

and it got even better bc YAYY he has tiger arms now ٩(◕‿◕)۶

if you ask, he’d carry you around too hehe

you also get nightmares quite often so he’ll always be there ready to calm you down, talk if you need to, and rock you back to sleep

god i love him 🤧🤧

atsushi will do everything in his power to protect you and make sure you get to grow up happy, supported, and loved

port mafia attack? oop he’s already taking you to the nearest escape route

someone is starting to harass you? they just got suckered punched into the next week

you want to go out to have some fun? he’ll go ask the president for a day off

you’re not feeling well? he’ll take another day off and take care of you

whatever you want to do, he’ll do it with you! (as long as it’s within reason)

will always be your #1 supporter! and he’s the president of your fan club hehe

he loves you so so much and will do anything for you; your life and happiness will always be more important to him

you are his reason to keep going

agency head canons !!

atsushi is your big brother, but kunikida is most definitely some sort of father figure

everyone can see it

except kunikida of course

kunikida scolds you lightly if he thinks your manners need work or if you make a mess in the agency

you listen to him of course and in turn as some sort of a reward, he’ll give you pieces of stationary

he always gives you the nice, good quality kind and you’re over the moon

atsushi adores it when you come running to him showing your new notebook or fountain pen and blabbering what you’re going to do with it

sometimes it isn’t even as a reward for being a good child; he’ll just give it to you and he’ll say smth like “i noticed you’ve used up your last notebook quite quickly, so here’s another one” or “did you run out of ink? here have this then”

he usually has a soft spot for children in general, but he most definitely has a soft spot (or a thousand) for you

yosano is kind of like a motherly figure to you

she gives you the guidance a mother should and goes on shopping trips with you!

atsushi always gets dragged along by you, but he thinks it’s worth it seeing you look so happy

yosano being a doctor also tries to teach the things you should know, or things that would be helpful to you

she’ll teach you the basics of cooking, sewing, how to treat a cold/fever, etc

also gives you excellent advice 1000% of the time

“remember (y/n)-chan if someone hurts you come tell me and then i’ll chop them into—”

“yOSANO-SENSEI DONT TELL HER THAT—”

fukuzawa is like a father to most in the agency but you see him more as a grandfather figure

bi weekly tea and gossip sessions hehe

along with cat talk!

most of the time though, it’s just you talking and him listening to you, but the two of you enjoy it nonetheless

“and then kunikida-san ended up crashing into a pole and dazai-san started to laugh at him and i did too because it was really funny but we ended up getting scolded—”

“hmm i see...”

he’ll let you stay in his office as he fills out paperwork; you’re usually doodling or drawing in your notebooks

sometimes he’ll meditate and you’ll join him, but 4/7 times you’d fall asleep

you always wake up with a blanket over you

dazai is like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

frequently takes you out with him when he ditches work

walks in the park, eating at uzumaki so he has the excuse of treating you so he doesn’t have to pay his tab avoiding kunikida and sometimes chuuya and akutagawa, all that fun stuff

also tries to not talk abt suicide in front of you especially if it’s just the two of you alone

he knows that you mean the world to his pupil and that said pupil would probably hate him for putting suicide inside your brain

he teaches you random but useful things like how to pick a lock, how to steal kunikida’s notebook if you’re looking for some information, how to sweet talk your way out of things, etc.

is also the one to tell you that if you ever get a significant other to introduce them to the agency first

he always wants all of your gossip; some of them work pretty well for blackmail

“dazai-san! dazai-san! did you know that kunikida-san lost his glasses and he was looking for them for nearly an hour when he was just holding them the entire time??”

“woah really (y/n)-chan?! hey hey can you say it again into this recording device so kunikida-kun would believe me when i tell him—”

always ends up giving kunikida a heart attack when he says that you’ve been with him all day

ranpo is also like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

will share some of his snacks, but don’t push it or you might not get anything at all

loves it when you compliment him

if you tagged along with him and your brother on a case, he will show off to impress you

“...and that’s how the crime happened”

“UWAHH RANPO-SAN YOU’RE SO COOL”

atsushi is lowkey and kunikida is highkey stressed that ranpo’s eating habits will rub off on you

“ne (y/n)-chan do you wanna try this highly caffeinated drink and this concerning amount of sugar filled snack?”

“can i really?!”

“rANPO-SAN NO—”

ranpo definitely does stuff like that on purpose 

the tanizakis are like siblings to you!

a weird set of siblings but siblings nonetheless

the two of them adore you and think you’re precious

atsushi definitely knows how to do your hair whether it’s long or short but he got even better at it when he asked the two

hehe braid trains are definitely a thing + kyouka and kenji (and maybe even dazai)

sometimes you have sibling swap days

you’re with junichiro for most of the day and atsushi is with naomi

strange i know

each of the tanizaki siblings try to make it fun bc they know that the two of you did not at all have a happy upbringing

junichiro likes spending time with you by taking you out to different places that naomi likes to frequent

like the mall, different stores and restaurants, the park, places like those

naomi does the same thing with atsushi so if you ever bump into them, you go out and eat together :)

besides atsushi, the next one in line who spoils you the most would be junichiro (and yosano & kunikida both coming in at a close third)

he honestly can’t help it; you remind him of how naomi was when she was younger

and besides

he’s always been a sucker when it came to the happiness of a little sister

“would you really buy this for me junichiro-san?!”

“of course! don’t worry about it” :)

wanna talk abt boys/girls/celebrity crushes things like that? naomi is your girl

you feel a bit embarrassed to go talking to yosano or your brother abt that and kyouka does not know a thing abt them either

“uwahh naomi-san look at all these people in this magazine! they look so good!”

“right?! but of course onii-sama is still the best—”

you get along with kenji and kyouka quite nicely being roughly the same age as them; they’re also like siblings!

just pure, wholesome vibes from the three of you

you’re over the moon when she finds out that kyouka is staying with you and your brother

atsushi is twice as happy seeing you talk your mouth off and finally having a girl around your age to talk to

“do you think demon snow can change how she looks?”

“hmm... im not sure...”

you and kenji talk abt anything and everything

he even teaches you how to take care of plants!

sometimes the two of you are kind of in the same boat bc you don’t know much abt yokohoma being stuck in the orphanage and kenji doesn’t know much abt cities in general

“wait where are we again kenji-san?”

“ah we’re close to the ports! but im not really sure how close because i don’t know what the symbols on this sign mean”

“don’t worry! neither do i!”

bonus things!

yosano was kind of too late teaching you abt you know what

“NII-SAN IM BLEEDING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS”

you’re sobbing in the agency’s bathroom and atsushi is panicking trying to get you to open the door

“Y/N?! H-HOLD ON LET ME GET YOSANO SENSEI”

ranpo overhears and cackles making everyone around him confused

suddenly atsushi bursts in the agency basically on the verge of tears rambling incoherent sentences abt the bathroom, you, and blood

it just clicked for everybody in the room

(im going to pretend that kenji has sisters back home so that atsushi is the only one who remain oblivious here hehe)

atsushi is genuinely confused and sort of concerned that no one is freaking out with him

yosano waves her hand saying smth like that she’d take care of it and junichiro pulls atsushi to the side to talk to him

fast forward like half and hour and dazai and ranpo are cackling on the looks of both of your faces

honestly not sure who’s more traumatized, you or your brother

“why does this have to happen” :(

“ne ne (y/n)-chan!~ you’re too young but at some point you’re not going to have it!”

“uwahh really dazai-san?” :D

“yeah! but first you have to have ANFK—”

next thing you know your ears are being covered by your brother and dazai is thrown across the room by kunikida

you know

the normal

you’re twelve and have never gone to school, but the agency takes care of that

it’s too dangerous to go to school so they teach you what’s necessary and whatever else they can

kunikida takes care of math (obviously)

yosano takes care of science/biology/anatomy/health (whatever you wanna call it)

ranpo even dragged poe to help you with english

atsushi even got lucy to help you out with english too!

as tanizaki and naomi used to be students, they give you their old work books and they try to teach you all the other subjects

sometimes kyouka and kenji are there learing with you too!

sorry if there’s some errors! i’ll read through it again later :)

and as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

[cherriesradio]

How MHA comforts your kid after a nightmare.

With Bakugo, Deku, and Todorki (Gn!reader)

Warnings: mentions of past abuse

Word Count: 1,863

Info on kids: (take in I got the names off a random website so tell me if it’s offensive)

Bakugo - Daughter, Named Ena, 6 years old

Deku - Twins, Girl: Fumiko, 10 years old, Boy: Akio, 5 years old

Todoroki - Son, Kento, 7 years old

Bakugo

He had been staying late for work, a habit he had been trying to stop for a while now. At least this time it was necessary because there was a big villain fight earlier that day, and he graciously offered to help with clean up.

Wanting to get the stress off your daughters shoulders, so decided to have a movie night.

Ena had taken a likening to Disney movies, some how. Though she did seem to most admire the villians more then the hero’s. Or the arrogant hero’s. Like father like daughter, I guess.

You pick Ena from school, on the way home she asks if what they showed on the news really happened, and “is daddy really hurt? I’m worried ‘bout daddy.”

You curse under your breath about why the fuck they would play the normal bloody and grim news infront of first graders. Sure, a lot of the kids parents are hero’s, but their parents should tell them that, not a TV.

You look at her at once at a spot light. Her sad face, her knees to her chest in the backseat. You place your hand on her knee.

“Don’t worry sweetheart. Daddy’s gonna be okay, he’s even helping clean up the mess later. So he’s gonna be home later than normal.”

Your happy when you see her get slightly less worried, knowing her dad is okay.

Once you get home you make her some ramen while she talks about her day at the counter.

You hand her the ramen, and offer taht after she does her homework and you check it, you could have a Disney movies marathon.

“What in the world is a movie marathon? Is it liek when those crazy people runnin’ for a while mile in like two minutes?”

You chuckle and roffles up her hair, kissing the top of her head. “It’s where you watch a bunch of movies in a row. We could do Disney.”

She instantly gains a spark in her eyes as soon as you say Disney, quickly squealing and running off to do her homework as quickly as she could.

Once she finished and you checked, her getting all the problems correct as normal, you get on the couch and start.

You go on for hours, at some points she sits down at the coffee table and plays with toys. Though she always ends up back cuddling into your chest, sitting in your lap, head turned to see the movie.

Around 10, she fell asleep. You thanked the lord that she didn’t have school the next day, also a little thankful she did stay up late, she would nap more the next day.

Quickly after you turned the movies off and fell asleep as well.

Bakugo sighed, annoyed that he had to stay till one in the morning to clean.

He was so ready to quickly eat left overs, kiss his little hothead of a daughters forehead, and then cuddle up to you as you slept. But NOPE, you just use to be all cUtE and cuddle with your daughter on the couch

How dare you be a good parent >:(

Though, Era seemed to be clingy tightly to your skin, surprising Bakugo on how you weren’t awaken by her uncut, sharp nails.

He moved to place his hand on her shoulder, his hot touch quickly waking her up with a loud “Daddy!”

You woke up very much startled by to daughter scream.

“Sweetheart what happened?” You say somehow quickly than Bakugo, turning quickly to her.

Era looked up at Bakugo, the slightest bit of relief going through her stressed mind.

“Daddy’s okay? R-right? He’s right there, he’s he’s gotta be okay?” Her eyes flickered from you and Bakugo.

You finally noticed that Bakugo was there, and was probably the one waking her up from her nightmare.

You stood up, hold Era on your hip. You hugged Bakugo, Era’s arms wrapped around both of you.

“What the hell happened?” He whispered, toward Era just barely couldn’t hear.

“She was worried about you, Love.”

Bakugo picked her out of your arms and put her legs around his waist.

“Listen, Babes. I’m never gonna be hurt to bad in a fight. Daddy’s to strong for that!” He smirked, quickly followed with a big grin when Era giggled.

“Daddy’s too great to get hurt!” She cheered, the past tear marks now seeming meaningless to her.

“Yeah!”

Deku

You were tired as normal after the large effort of getting the twins to bed. You knew you wanted to see Deku today, and also knew that he would get home late as normal.

At least he had lots of time in the day for you and your kids.

You drank some coffee, it was merely nine o’clock and Izuku wouldn’t be home till at least one in the morning.

You layed on the couch, putting on a queit movie as to not wake the kids.

“I’m home!” Izuku called, earlier than he told you.

“Izuku? I thought you said you would be home at one? It’s only 12.” You said while walking up to him.

“I wanted to surprise you, Lovely. I may have been held back, I thought I would come home before the kids even fell asleep.” He said, putting his arms around your waist and kissing your nose.

“Your an idiot.” You snickered at his plan.

“I’m your idiot.” He laughed, raising his hand from your waist. “And your stuck with me.” He said, pointing to the ring on his finger.

You laugh at your silly husband, who somehow still had that wholesome attitude after all the trama and hurt he insured over the years of being a hero.

You both go to bed, cuddle up to each other, kissing the others warm and welcoming touch.

When I the middle of the night you hear soft but quick knocks coming from the door.

“Izuku, could… could you get it?” You ask, him already on his way to the door.

He gently opened the door, to a tired looking Fumiko and a crying Aiko. Funiko’s hand was lightly on his back, holding his trembling body in place.

“Dad, dad I had I really and nightmare. C-can I sleep with you tonight?” Aiko muttered under his breath.

Izuku looked up towards Fumiko, trying to aka what had happened.

“He woke up a few minutes ago. He had a dream, I think you died or something. I tried to comfort him but he just wanted you and p/n.” (P/n: parental name (mom, dad, etc)

“Thanks, Fumiko. Go back to bed, I’ll let Akio sleep with us tonight.” He whispered, kissing his daughters forehead before she went back to their room across the hall.

He yawned and walked back to the bed, Akio on his hip. He gently shook you back awake.

“Lovely? Akio had a nightmare.” He told you, as you turned to face him. You had a sympathetic look on your face, looking into your child’s terrifyed eyes.

You nodded and reached your arms out to hold Akio in your arms. He plopped onto you, his face just far enough to be heard while talking.

“Dad and you are gonna be safe, right? Right, p/n?” He looked up at you. You nodded and wiped away his tears.

Izuku layed back down and run his hands through Akio’s hair, something that had always comforted you during the UA days, and even now.

Akio feel asleep with in minutes, and you kept him to your chest to make sure he wouldn’t get nightmares. Not with you and Izuku protecting him.

Todorki (warning; ANGST)

He was glad, he could finally get home early for once. He decided not to tell you, similar to Izuku, wanting to surprise you and Kento.

“Dears! I’m home early!” He smiled as he walked into the classic Chinese (?) home, ready for you and Kento to jump in and hug him.

But, instead of being welcomed home with a loving bear hug, he was welcomed with two terrified glares, and and a unmatching one that was filled with heat.

Endeavor.

“Shouto, your home early.” You said, wanting to interrupt the silence.

“Dear, why in the world is this bastard here?” He said with a growl.

“I didn’t know you had a son, Shouto.” Endeavor said. His scar seemed to have healed slightly over the years, though it was clearly visible still.

“What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were gonna stay out of my life from now on.” Shouto said, still having to look up at the tall man.

“I’m just visiting. You don’t have to hold a grudge.” Endeavor shrugged and turned back to you and Kento on the couch.

“Kento, right?” He titled his head, lowering his arms.

He picked Kento up.

The man who you had been told abused his children, beat his wife, killed mercilessly, took away the love of your life’s childhood, picked up your child.

Anger immediately pumped into your veins, you quickly tearing a terrified Kento from the old mans arms.

“Get away from my son!”

“You know, I never did think you were good for Shouto.”

You better believe Shouto took care of the rest.

You crattled Kento in your arms, not wanting to let go even long after he fell asleep. You had to keep yourself from holding onto him to hard, knowing that if you held on as hard as you wanted, you would crush the poor kid.

Shouto sighed and walked back in, walking into the bedroom where you held Kento.

“Dear.” He said in the doorway. His voice was soft and familar.

“Yes, love?” You said, peaking up at him.

He walked and sat down next to you, kissing your shoulder. You almost feel the pain oozing out of him. (God I hate “ooze” so much-)

“I’m sorry, Dear. I’ll…” He sighed and put his head in his hands. “I don’t even know. He refuses to retire and the government is a total suck up for him.”

You exhale and Lena on his shoulder.

“We are never letting that happen again.” You scoff in to his sleeve.

“Yes, of course. He’s never gonna come back here, into our home.” He safely added.

“Not that. Of course I’m still never gonna let him in again. I’m never letting that bitch hold my baby ever again.” You said. He gently smiled down at you, admittedly a little glad you had such a hatred of his father.

You grunted as Kento held on tighter to your waist where he had his arms wrapped around, his face wrinkled liek he just ate something sour.

This being familar, him sharing regular nightmares like his father, you softly woke him up.

“Dear? Dear wake up, the scary man is gone. He’s never coming back.” You said as Shouto softly shook his arm, and you shakes his slightly.

“Mh… p/n, Dad… I’m scared. He came back in my head.” He whimpered, tapping his forehead.

He leaned down and pressed his face on his stomach, peaking up with sad eyes at Kendo’s face.

“I know. We all are. But that’s never gonna happen again. We’ll make sure of it.”

[hikarimiyanaga]

I'll Always Be Yours (Part 8)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Eight Song : Sleep Tonight

A/N : Another English song and the finale of this series.

You enjoy your honeymoon with Natasha Romanoff. Still, nightmares persist.

A little late but better late than never.

-

Tell your goodnight to the light and close your eyes

There's a better place for you than to stay awake

You'll get closer to a paradise of dreamers in love

You'll get better like heaven has done something

-

You smile as you and Natasha settle down in your room. You’re in a resort in Palawan and Steve assured that no one would bother you two for at least a month. You unpack the last of the suitcases when Natasha hugs you from behind. You laugh then turn to her.

“Y/N Romanoff.” You kiss her and smile.

“Yes, Natasha Romanoff? Do you want something, my love?”

“You.” You smile. “Always you.”

-

You sigh as you can’t sleep. You look over Natasha and smile. She looks so peaceful… granted you did kind of overdid with 5 times nonstop. You just can’t help but savor your lovely wife. You pull her closer into you. You were just falling asleep when you hear Natasha whimper. Your open your eyes as she tries to hit you. She whimpers again and you rub her back and whisper comforting words to her. She was having a nightmare. You should’ve been used to this but it still breaks your heart a little when it happens. She calms down after a minute and you sigh in relief. You stare at the ceiling before groaning. You can’t fall asleep again.

-

So lay now, hear me all through the night

There's no teardrop, you can count on me tonight

Or I'll stay up with you

-

You two are just exhausted tonight. It’s been three days since Natasha had her nightmare. You were talking about everything that came to mind before you noticed that she fell asleep. You smile and kiss her forehead before tucking her in. You get your sketchpad and pencil and begin drawing. You get through at least two drawings before Natasha reaches out to you.

“Y/N?” You put aside your sketchpad and pencil before turning to her.

“What’s wrong?” She pouts and you can’t help but smile.

“What are you doing?”

“Sketching? I can’t get those beautiful beaches out of my head and I just had to.”

“But sleep?” You get a hair strand out of her face and she hums.

“Sorry, baby, I promise I’ll cuddle you after I finish.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, Nat.”

After half an hour of sketching you hear her whimper and you quickly set aside your sketchpad and pencil.

“Nat? Baby?” You try to calm her down, but she wakes up. “Are you okay?” She nods and looks at you. She kisses you and you kiss her back.

“It was a nightmare.” You nod as she settles on your side. “Can I watch you?”

“Watch me do what?”

“Sketch.”

“Of course.” You kiss her forehead before getting your pencil and sketchpad. She puts her hand on your thigh and you smile. You sketch for an hour before she falls asleep. You sleep besides her after you hide your pencil and sketchpad.

-

Baby it's alright

I'll be right by your side

No need to cry out loud

Nothing to cry about

Baby it's alright

I'll be just by your side

I'll keep you on my sight

I'll never leave 'til you sleep tonight

-

Natasha cries this time and you panic as you try to calm her down. She hugs you tightly.

“I’m right here, baby. Don’t cry.” You say as you rub her back. She calms down and you can’t help but sigh in relief… it feels like her nightmares are becoming more often.

-

“Nat. We need to talk.” She gulps and goes to you. You pat the spot besides you and she sits.

“Y/N? What-“

“You keep having nightmares, Nat.” She gets teary-eyed. God, did you get tired of it? Of her? Everything- “It’s not that Natasha. I know what you’re thinking.” You take her hands. “I’ll never get tired of you. Even if you make me pass out by your libido or keep me all night with your nightmares. It’s just-“ You sigh and run a hand through your hair. “I’m worried. Are you stressed? Sad? Guilty?”

“Afraid.” She mumbles and you hum. She takes your left hand and smiles at the ring. “I just- I keep thinking about messing things up and then all of those worri-“

“Get in your dreams. What was your dream last night?” She looks up to you and you give her a smile.

“You know that kid you helped yesterday?”

“Yeah?”

“It was… you were with his mom and you were both just so happy.”

“So you got jealous and worr-“

“And guilty. I can’t give you kids, not until I stop being an Avenger and I don’t-“

“Nat. Have you ever asked what I wanted?” You smile and she shakes her head. “Ask then.” She takes a deep breath and looks you in the eye.

“Okay. What do you want, Y/N?” You take her left hand and kiss it.

“You. And everything you’re willing to give. Will that include kids? I don’t know. Will it kill me? Of course not. As much as I love imagining a little you and me running around our own house, it’s early for us. We just got married two weeks ago. You are the love of my life, Natasha, nothing and I mean nothing could ever change that.” She’s crying by the time you were done and you wipe her tears away.

-

I'll cover you with my arms and hold you tight

And I'll be listening to your wonderful and calm little voice

I'll keep watching 'til my eyes burn down

-

“Y/N?” Natasha shakes you but you just whimper. “Baby?” You wake up with a gasp and you look at shock. You stare at each other then you suddenly cry. “Y/N.” She hugs you and you tremble.

“You were gone again.” You say and Natasha nods. She straddles you and hugs you again.

“I’m not going anywhere anymore, Y/N. I swear on my life.” You nod and hug her back. You fall asleep after a few minutes and Natasha lays you down slowly. She cuddles you and falls asleep.

-

“Y/N? Not sleeping yet?” You shake your head and smile at Nat.

“Go ahead. I’ll just finish this piece.” You’re both back in the compound and you’ve been painting for the last ten hours.

“Okay.” She complies and you hum. You take your phone and earphones out. You choose one of her recorded messages. She recorded them so you can listen to her voice even if she was on a mission.

“Y/N. Have I ever told you how blown I am by your paintings?” You smile. She has. Multiple times actually since you’ve given her one. “The way you make art is like the way you love. You’re attentive, focused, and determined.” You chuckle. “That’s why I was floored when you gave me one… and when you let me back inside your life. I messed up. I know that. But I’m going to try and make it up to you with every single day of my life.” You hum. “And when I’m away… well, just listen to this and the other recordings. I’m going to come home to you. I know I will. I don’t think I can spend another lifetime away from you.” You finish it up and sigh in relief. You clean up your art supplies and stretch your body as you make your way to your room. You see Natasha fast asleep and you go to bed beside her. You can’t fall asleep yet so you get your sketchpad and sketch your wife.

-

Natasha wakes up before you and it was a rather rare sight. You usually wake up alongside her or before her. She notices your open sketchpad and gets it. Oh. That’s why. She chuckles and you stir awake.

“Morning, Nat.” You greet and she puts the sketchpad aside.

“Morning, baby. Nice sleep.” You hum in confirmation and she can’t help but kiss you. You smile against her lips.

“Now, it’s a good morning.” She grins and you sit. You notice your sketchpad and look at her.

“You drew me.” You scoff at her.

“Woman, I draw you all the time.” You stand and go to your closet. You open it and gesture at the top shelf full of sketchpads. “All of these are filled by you. My landscape sketches are with Silvia.”

“Really? How come you neve-“

“Because some of them are kinda what I just remember of you.” You get the oldest one and give it to Natasha. “That’s the first one that I filled.” She opens it and smiles.

“It’s beautiful.” You chuckle and sit beside her.

“That’s because that’s how I remember you.” She looks at you and you put a strand of hair behind her ear. “Beautiful, bad-ass, kind and smart. The love of my life.”

“I love you, Y/N Romanoff. I’m so glad you’re mine.” You grin and kiss her.

“I love you too, Natasha Romanoff. I’ll always be yours.”

-

A/N:

And thus ends my series that I somehow wrote under a week.

I'm still floored by fast I wrote this.

And how it's more than 10,000 words in total.

Also, it's pretty amazing that this series' total notes is over 100 which is beyond my expectations?

I expected 20+ and that's that.

So, Thank You so much for all the love you all gave this series of mine.

[wordsinwinters]

Then Again, Part 26 (Peter Parker x Reader)

Masterlist (with AO3 links)

Total word count: 50,293

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25,

Summary: After an intense argument and a forced-to-share-the-bed situation during their junior year decathlon trip, Peter and the Reader examine their faults and failings. As they attempt to fix their mistakes and improve their friendship, that friendship quickly begins to evolve into something else.

Slow burn fic in which all characters are included and their dynamics explored; multiple character POVs.

Betas: @girl-tips-from-satan and @fanboyswhereare-you

A/N: This isn’t my favorite chapter, but it’s been sitting in my drafts for over a year and I figured if I don’t post it now, I’ll never move on to the next. Additionally, as always, I live for feedback. 😉

Without further ado,

Then Again Part 26:

(Words: 2,825)

The bus ride will probably get boring soon, or at least as long as the girls stay asleep, but even as quiet as it is, it’s almost a perfect morning. Being early (around 6:00, I think?), there’s barely any light except street lamps and car lights, but some of the clouds on the right have caught a pretty bluish purple tinge. It reminds me of that Rainbow Fish book Aunt May used to read to me as a kid. To make it better, the morning air is chilly enough that the driver turned the heaters on low so it’s wrapped-in-a-blanket-while-it-snows warm in here. Although that also might be why, apart from general dirt and old gum, the strongest smell on the bus is salty grease— since the nearest heater is under the seat Flash spilled french fries and chicken nuggets in yesterday. It could be worse, though. I mean, it’s not necessarily a bad smell and the traffic isn’t horrible. It’s not the best, but it could definitely be louder and a lot slower. The field of flowing red tail lights ahead of us is oddly comforting, like a snail-slow pasture of mechanical color. 

All in all, it’s a pretty cozy start for a dreaded five hour bus ride. It’s giving me quiet time to think. So that’s where I’m at. Or should be. I got some stuff organized in my head last night even if I keep getting distracted now. Well, it was more like a couple hours ago, since I wasn’t able to get to sleep for so long after we said goodnight. But anyway, I’m trying to focus. It’s just hard, even with both of them sleeping.

From my and Ned’s spot behind them, watching the girls’ heads gently shake and bump against each other as the bus shudders through potholes is kind of calming. They seem so peaceful from this angle, like two people who’ve never pranked me and Ned to the point we were nearly suspended, or kept us awake and annoyed by asking paradoxical hypothetical questions because they know how Ned and I will argue for days if we don’t agree on an answer, or anything else like that. It’s like finding two mischievous cats sleeping, curled up on a chair. It’s easier to appreciate them when they aren’t causing chaos. But it’s not that hard to appreciate them when they are anyway.

Though Ned and I won’t admit it when they’re fully awake, seeing their heads smack into the seat in front of them each time the bus lurched to a halt at stoplights (during the first ten minutes after they’d fallen asleep) was funnier than it should’ve been. Even knowing then that we wouldn’t mention it later didn’t stop us from exchanging silent laughs when they leaned back up, muttering unintelligible complaints before settling their heads back onto one another. For the last couple stoplights before the highway, at least, we decided to be better friends. We both stood up with one leg on the floor and one knee on our own seat so we could easily hold their foreheads back each time it happened. Again, I wouldn’t admit this out loud, even to Ned, but it’s a little bit funny that Ned was a split second slower than me, so while I kept catching MJ’s head before the stop, he half-smacked Y/N’s forehead, like a really-close-to-the-floor basketball dribble, and made a wincing face each time. A lot of times. But it did stop her from colliding with the seat, and she didn’t wake up or complain. 

As nice as it is with them and almost everyone else sleeping through the dark, quiet first hour of the bus trek back to New York, I am excited for her and MJ to wake up. Whenever that is. I’ve missed them. 

But anyway, I really need to focus. God. I’m not doing a great job of that this morning. Apparently. So I’m focusing now. It’s like Ned said. I need to be honest with myself. 

Okay. 

Alright. 

No distractions. 

I’m going to set myself straight now, before we get back, so I can make a game plan and be more decisive and make less mistakes. Fewer? Yeah, fewer mistakes. She’s told me that half a dozen times this since she read that grammar book last summer. But that’s not important.

If I’m being honest... I think I’ve avoided the real possibility that things could work out between us because it felt too risky. And I make some dumb, impulsive choices. So that’s saying a lot. If she said no, what’s the worst that could happen? May and Ned have been asking me that for months, and it’s been so frustrating. The answer should be obvious. The worst thing wouldn’t be the rejection, it’d be if it made her uncomfortable and she broke off our friendship. Or, even if she stuck around, if our friendship changed and I had to watch her get more and more distant, knowing it was my fault and nothing would ever go back to normal. 

Those were the worst — and, I thought, most probable — possibilities. For months I’ve been certain that if anything changed, everything would, and it’d all go to shit. So I kept dodging it. And dodging her before the trip. But, then, things did change this weekend. Things are changing. We fought, and it was super shitty and awful and a total nightmare fiasco, but we made up. And she seemed almost as relieved as me when we did. Now we even have this pact about spending more time together. I know it’s officially only in the name of friendship, but something’s… different. I feel it, and I think she does too. And it doesn’t seem bad. That’s the craziest part. I mean, she even kissed me last night. On the cheek, but still. “Keep it.” Maybe May’s not ridiculous: she really might feel the same way. 

I’ve been texting her this morning, actually. Aunt May. I had to admit that I’m happy she forced me to do the forehead kiss thing last night. As annoyed as I was that she and Ned ganged up on me like that, I can’t dispute the results. She kissed me! Kind of. (To be fair, she did hit my mouth a little bit even if it was an accident.) At first it made me wonder if she heard any of Ned’s shout-comments before I could turn the t.v. up to cover what he was saying. But I doubt it. Even if she felt the same way, I know her too well to think she wouldn’t freak out more and enough that it’d be noticable. Yeah, no, I’d definitely have been able to tell if she’d heard him saying things like, “Nobody’s saying you have to tell her that you googled the probability of high school sweethearts getting married that time she saved your ass on that Bronte essay, but yeah, Aunt May’s right! Just ask her to come over and either talk to her or do the hair/forehead thing!” Anyway, May’s on board with her coming over a lot this week and next week and giving us some space. So are Ned and MJ. Ned said they agreed on giving us two weeks (starting tomorrow) without them hanging out after school. And who knows, if the dance goes really well, maybe it’ll be normal for us to hang out, just us, without the whole group. Because… well, I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself. 

I’ll admit, they’re the best friends I could ever have. All three of them. 

And it’s nice to have them all here now, Ned to my left and the girls in front of us. It’s even nicer to be outside of class or the city or crazy study sessions and have had a short breather from all that (despite the shitshow before we smoothed things over and could enjoy it). To be somewhere chill together. Yesterday and today probably feel even better because the last few days, or even weeks… no— months, if I’m being honest— have had me in a kind of less than happy place. But that’s over now. We’re all here and things are finally good. I just wish the girls would wake up, especially since Ned’s back on his phone. Again. 

Yesterday, everybody hung out for most of the afternoon, but being in the whole decathlon group isn’t the same as just being the four of us. Or two. 

Speaking of two— Ned being away during this next week or two is going to make everything so… unfiltered. New. Without his interference and being able to talk to him as often as normal, it’ll mostly just be her and me. Nobody to distract attention or blame stuff on or help me out when I’m doing something dumb (which is often). Like, for example, last night when I maybe let my excitement get the better of me and I might’ve jumped on the bed and thrown a pillow that accidentally broke the lamp on the nightstand. While I don’t really think writing that “Bill Mr. Harrington” note with the school’s address was Ned’s best idea, it helped me not care too much, enough that I didn’t do something dumber like actually tell Mr. Harrington. It might come back to bite us, though. Still, he was genuinely helpful this morning when Flash showed up too. 

While we were hanging out in the girls’ room waiting for them to finish packing, there was a knock on the door. I figured it was Mr. Harrington about to yell at me and Ned for the broken lamp, so I motioned to Ned to shut up and move closer to the head of the bed we were already sitting on where, courtesy of the wall between the bedroom and bathroom, he wouldn’t be able to see us as long as he stayed by the doorway. MJ gave us an odd glance before she got up to answer it. Her annoyed, “What are you doing here?” didn’t immediately disqualify Mr. Harrington, but the sound of Flash’s voice saying, “I, uh, brought you guys some muffins,” made me tense at the first syllable.

“The free muffins they give us for breakfast?”

MJ’s dripping sarcasm nearly made me laugh even though I couldn’t see her, but Y/N turning from her suitcase and walking over to join them killed it still in my throat. 

“Nope,” he said. “They’re fancy muffins from a bakery a few miles away.”

I wanted to roll my eyes out of my skull.

She may not like him, but that doesn’t mean I was wrong about him being into her. What a dumb way to impress someone. “Fancy muffins.”

“Expensive?” MJ asked. Even without seeing her face, I could tell she was giving him the squint death stare. It’s scary to have to respond to that face if you don’t know what the right answer is.

“Yes, especially with the delivery fee,” he said, sounding prepared for the question, “but they’re from a small local place, not a chain, which I figured you guys would appreciate. Actually, I think you’d like the woman who owns it, she was super grouchy and hard to convince.”

“Convince?”

“They don’t normally deliver at 5 in the morning.”

“Oh, so you thought you could just—”

“What kind did you get?” 

That’s one of the things I like about Y/N. She knows how to manage tempers and when to jump in; she has Flash and MJ down to a science. In that moment, though, I wanted MJ to fire her most confrontational questions at him with no mercy.

“Well, they’re all apology muffins—” I heard MJ scoff. Exactly. She gets it. “But I got blueberry, chocolate, obviously, coffee, cranberry orange, maple, I think that one has chicken in it or something, and banana nut.”

Ned and I turned towards each other with silent smirks at the last one. It’s a dumb joke, but under normal circumstances we’d never resist—

“Cool. Since you’ve brought so many, you can come in.”

Sometimes MJ drives me up the wall. This was one of those times. 

I mentally took back my agreement with her scoff.

The three of them came into the room, and for a couple seconds, Flash didn’t see us. The girls were closer to the window than they were to the wall and the bed Ned and I were sitting on, and he didn’t look behind him. Until MJ pointed us out directly.

“You can give them some too,” she said, her expression bordering on smug. “Apology muffins, right?”

Flash froze for a second. I straightened my back. Neither Ned or I said anything.

“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded. “Of course.”

Surprisingly, he shook his shoulders like a bug just buzzed by his head and walked over, opening a giant rectangle of a box up to us. 

“Take however many you guys want.”

I stared at him, not moving. Nobody flinched. Then I realized he was tapping the side of the box with his thumb. Not in an asshole come on, hurry up way, but in an anxious way. Just as I started to reach toward the box, Y/N asked:

“Why’d you get so many of the coffee ones?”

Flash looked away at just the right second. 

Did I technically cave first by reaching into the box? Yes. But did anyone see? No.

Although, I guess he technically caved by offering us the muffins in the first place. Ha. All the same, I took a blueberry one. 

“They’re my dad’s favorite. I wanted to surprise him, you know? But I can’t even get a hold of.... Um, are your guys’ parents going to pick you up when we get there, or are you actually staying for school?”

“Staying.”

“All of you?” 

He looked around to ask all of us, even me and Ned. We all nodded. When he looked at me, though, his eyes twitched. It’s a face I’ve gotten a lot before. He realized he said parents. 

“You said these are orange cranberry?” Ned asked, pointing. 

Flash nodded. 

“They’re solid, though the banana nut ones are probably the best.”

As I said, under normal circumstances, like if one of the girls had said it, I would’ve laughed right then, but I’m not used to laughing around Flash. Ned, who usually follows that same rule, shook his head and grinned, if a little bit... nervously?

“Hell no!” he said, pretending to be mildly outraged. “I’m not eating banana-bust-a-nut muffins.”

A second surprise: Flash tilted his head and paused, clearly as stunned to be told a joke by Ned as the rest of us were to witness it— and laughed. So did everyone else. It was only for a few seconds, like literally three quick seconds, but for the first time for as long as I can remember, all of us were laughing with Flash. It stopped almost as soon as it started. 

Tension crept back in soon so he left pretty quickly after that with an awkward, “See you guys in a few.” Thank god. 

The girls finished tidying their room and going over the homework that’s due today (which we did last week since we knew we’d never get it done on the trip), before forcing me and Ned into the hallway so Mr. Harrington wouldn’t need to check our room for us and potentially find the broken lamp. 

And then, pretty soon, we ended up on the warm bus, loaded in with everyone else. It seemed like everybody but Ned and I were too quiet and sleepy and squinty to be able to talk much before dozing off or staring blankly out the window or scrolling social media on their phones, the latter two options leading to the first in most cases. At this point, I think Ned, Flash, and I are the only ones still awake. 

I’m going to work at tolerating him. As long as he doesn’t cross any lines with anybody from now on, I won’t bait him either. (Admittedly, I’ve been guilty of that, especially recently.) I mean, his comment about his dad was hard to miss. And even when he said it, it wasn’t a shock. Everyone in our grade at some point has had to listen to Flash’s rambling excuses for his parents ignoring or forgetting to show up for school events. Maybe being a dick is just hereditary for him. Or a family tradition. 

I don’t remember how I got so off track. Where was I before? Oh yeah. Risk. Possibilities. The almost-worst case scenario that turned out not so bad. It’s been a messy weekend with plenty of re-evaluating, but the point is simple: I think I’ve got to give a few new things a try, and I’m excited to have a chance over the next couple weeks.

Next update: God only knows.

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[eveningstar1516]

Rise of the Demon King ~ Chapter 10

Rise of the Demon King Fic: Multi Chapter Paring: MC x Everyone (Mostly Lucifer) Type: Angst with a Happy Ending Total Word Count: 26,758 TW: Major Character Death, Reader gets stabbed with a sword through their chest so..., Abusive Parents, Past Child Abuse, Demon Hunters, Loss of Control Summary: You’ve done it. You’ve finally done it. You’ve managed to anger the demon king. Now you hold your head high as he hands down your sentence. AO3 Portal: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27065362 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A/N: I gotta Discord server guys! It's primarily Obey Me but other fandoms are welcome as well. It's kinda baby and dead so me and the other members are looking to revive it and we'd love for you to come join us. A roleplay area is included :) https://discord.gg/F3YEmDZCPS Please remember to read and accept the rules once you join for access to all the channels. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Previously: Satan spent the rest of the night by his brother's side, cleaning his room and slowly, step by step, bringing back how his brother usually looked like. A glowing masterpiece, worthy of both envy and praise. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CHAPTER 10 - A Strong Bond (1616 words)

I was sitting at Lucifer's desk in his old room. After spending 3 sleepless nights in a row, Simeon helped me move into Luci’s old room which thankfully had some really good blinds to block out the celestial sun. The paperwork seemed as endless as it had in the Devildom only this time, it was the archangels' work. While they did their share and dealt with their department’s issues, the majority of the work still fell on my shoulders. I’m starting to understand why Lucifer felt this way towards paperwork. I put the pen down as I finished up the last of this week’s paperwork. Looking at the time, I realized I’ve been working for the past 9 hours straight. Getting up, I stretched my back and felt my joints popping. I filed the rest of the work and got dressed in something more comfortable. A simple dark blue turtleneck and white jeans. I made my way to the kitchen, having missed dinner, I wanted to get something to nibble on before bed. Upon entering, I found Raphael at the table with a cup of celestial berry tea. Noticing me, he looked up and waved me over.

“What are you still doing up Raph?” “I could ask the same. Here, we have some leftovers.” Raphael got up and got a plate from the fridge placing it in the microwave before getting another mug to pour more tea in. “Thank you” I took the mug with both hands and slowly sipped it. Relishing the warmth flowing down my throat. Taking the plate out of the microwave, Raphael set it in front of me before ruffling my hair and sitting back down. Laughing I retaliated back.

“H-hey! I’m not a child”

“You are compared to us. An overworked tired child that despite being in over their head, is doing an amazing job at keeping us running.”

“Thank you. It is hard though. I have no idea how Lu did it, still does it.”

“Yeah, Sammy would work himself to exhaustion. You actually remind me of him. Your determination to get the work done flawlessly and your dedication. Are you sure you’re not supposed to be an angel?”

“Heh, thanks Raph, but you and I both know I’m only doing this to go back.”

“Do you have to though? You’ve been here for a full millenia now. Don’t you want to stay?”

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely up here and you guys are the absolute best, but I don’t belong here. My heart is in the Devildom with the brothers.”

“Why though? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not criticizing, but why would you rather stay in the Devildom than here?”

“I guess the Devildom just grew on me. The Devildom, and the bro’s. I like the way Belphie looks when he’s sleeping peacefully, his head on my lap. I admire the way Beel protects his twin and his brothers, sacrificing everything to make them happy. I envy the way Asmo can change a tense atmosphere into an up beat one effectively dissolving any tension. I find myself thinking about Satan and the late reading nights we’d have and the discussions about cats and our books. I wish I had as much passion as Levi does with his games and shows. Confidently ranting on about them without caring what others think. I’m amazed by Mammon’s love for his family. Everything he sacrifices to make them happy. He even puts himself in the line of fire and would redirect the attention to himself by doing something stupid to distract them from their suffering. I love Lucifer. I love how much he cares for his family. All he sacrifices, all he endures, all the pain he hides from them to keep them happy. To keep us all happy... I miss them.” Tears started pooling as I reminisced about the brothers. Raphael leaned over and pulled me into a shoulder hug.

“I know you do. If it’s any consolation, I’m sure they miss you too. It sounds like you created a strong bond with them. I’m sure you’ll get to see them soon.”

“I hope so. Thanks Raph.”

“Anytime Y/N. I think you should get some rest. Don’t forget we have a-”

“Y/N, Raphael.” Michael walked into the kitchen. He had a look that closely resembled contentment and relief.

“Michael, how can we help you?”

“You should be in bed Raphael. Father wants to see Y/N. Now.” Raphael and I exchanged a look. I finished off my tea and hugged Raphael goodnight before heading to my room to change into something more appropriate for my meeting with God. 5 minutes later and we were on our way to the palace. In the Devildom After they lost Y/N The day they lost Y/N was the hardest day in their life. After they got back to the house, they both went straight to their room, not talking with anyone. Behind the relative safety of a locked door, Belphie crawled into bed and tried to escape reality. Beel sat on his bed and closed his eyes. He didn’t try to sleep, he didn’t go to the kitchen, he didn’t move. He just sat there, the pain numbing him. They stayed like this for a while before Belphie started tossing and turning, his slumber becoming a restless nightmare. Beel got up and changed into something more comfortable. He moved Belphie over and got under the covers, pulling his twin into his chest. Belphie felt himself being pulled into his older brother's embrace and leaned into it, grief evident on both their faces as they both fell into a dreamless sleep.

The days following weren’t much better. Beel wouldn’t eat as much, practically starving himself and he was rarely found. When any of the brothers would go looking for him, they’d either find him in his room or the gym. Belphie wouldn’t wake up at all anymore. He’d go weeks sleeping, if you could call nightmare filled nights sleeping. He wasn’t any better awake either. When he did wake to attend school or fulfill an order from the king, you could practically see the waves of pure wrath and resentment surrounding him, only dispersing when Beel was close by. There were days where neither of them would leave their room, both just staring into space, little words exchanged. Although they didn’t need to. Their shared bond conveyed more than words could express. The pain amplified by this bond. When Belphie was awake, the twins would practically be inseparable. Neither going anywhere without the other.

This went on for a few months. One day after being rudely awakened from a nap, Belphie found himself wandering the house for a quiet place to sleep. Normally, he’d just head up to the attic, however today, he found his feet leading him down to the catacombs, towards Lilith’s, now Y/N’s casket. He doesn’t know what brought him here, but as soon as he saw it, his eyes started watering. He doesn’t know if it’s because of the memories he has assorted with the casket or if it was because Beel was sitting next to it, leaning his back against the side, crying. Sensing Belphie’s presence, Beel opened his eyes and turned his head towards his twin. He cracked a small, tired smile as Belphie moved to sit next to him. This was the first time Belphegor had seen Beelzebub cry since Y/N’s execution. Sitting next to his brother, he leaned into the larger demon letting his own tears flow. Their hands gravitated toward each other as they took hold. For the first time since the trial, they sat together in silence; tears flowing down their cheeks. Eventually, they fell asleep like this, holding each other's hands. It was Levi that found them. The 3rd born having come down to place the gift he got for Y/N from the convention on the casket. He spotted the twins sleeping with tear stained cheeks and left. He came back down a few minutes later with a blanket and a few snacks for when they awoke. Not wanting to disturb them, he set down the Ruri-chan kit and carefully draped the blanket over them. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was envious of the twins connection and devotion to be there for each other. Then he remembered about their connection. He knows the twins can feel what the other is feeling. He realized that they were probably taking this the hardest, their shared connection amplifying the pain. His envy for them left, replaced by something resembling pity. He left them in the catacombs and retreated to his room. The twins awoke at the same time. They took notice of the blanket draped over them and the fruit tray placed next to them. They exchanged a smile as Beel leaned over to grab the tray, offering the fruit to Belphie first. Belphegor grabbed an apple slice and held it towards Beel. Beel opened his mouth accepting the slice and repeated the action with a clementine. They continued like this, feeding each other until the tray was empty. They stayed down in the catacombs for a little while longer, their bond conveying the vows they made to each other. They’d never leave each other's side. Always be there for their other half.

After that day, Beel would take responsibility for waking the youngest whenever he slept for too long and Belphie took responsibility for making sure Beel ate whenever he was awake. From that day forward, you’d never find one twin without the other close by. Their relationship strengthened, one relying on the other. Always being there when needed.

[dnfisgay]

Mr. Loverman - Chapter 1

a/n: hey! welcome to my first fic on here! i kinda feel like i’m back in freshman year writing youtube rpf but hey! we’re all regressing anyway aren’t we? this is a dreamnotfound fic based on the online personas of georgenotfound and dream. this is in no way meant to pressure them or their relationship, and if either of them say they’re uncomfortable with fanfiction i’ll take this down! but anyway at the beginning of every chapter there will be a content warning section and a summary if needed, or if any plot altering events happen during the possibly triggering sections. i hope y’all enjoy Mr. Loverman, a fic based on the song by Ricky Montgomery. 

THIS IS MY OWN WORK. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST ON ANY OTHER BLOGS/SITES WITHOUT PERMISSION. DO NOT REPOST AS YOUR OWN. 

Prologue 

Sometimes, a simple decision is what changes your life the most. Sometimes, a tragedy is a blessing in disguise. Not always, but enough of the time for a few lucky people to benefit. We were some of those people. A simple decision changed... everything. Everyone. Changed me, changed him. Sometimes, we regret those decisions. Other times, they’re the best thing that’s ever happened. We made history together. We made our own history. We changed ourselves for the better. Part of it was born of tragedy, of pain and suffering, of wrong-place-wrong-time. But after, we were born anew. A butterfly emerging from fog. 

The rainbow after a storm. A soft mist at the edge of a violent fall. Our own little refuge within the storm. We made history together, you and me. 

“I've shattered now, I'm spilling out Upon this linoleum ground  I'm reeling in my brain again Before it can get back to you  Oh, what am I supposed to do without you?”

Content Warnings: none 

Word count: 1,520

Chapter One - A New Chapter Of Us

“What if we moved in together?”

George laughed. 

‘What? You’re joking.”

“No! I’m totally serious!” Dream said, laying on his bed. “Think about it. You could get a work visa, come live with me, and we can make videos together! Like vlogs and stuff! You can get away from your family, and I… well I get you! It’s obviously a win-win situation.”

“Vlogs? You don’t even show your face.”

“Oh… yeah. Well, whatever! I’ll do a face reveal. Please, George!”

George’s hesitance showed, making Dream bounce on his knees on the bed, literally begging him.

“Please George! Please!” he laughed, waiting for him to agree. George stayed silent, trying to hide his smile.

“I guess you don’t love me then… oh bother,” Dream fake pouted at him, pretending to cry, rubbing his eyes to make them red. He couldn’t hide the smile in his voice.

“Okay, alright, you wore me down,” George said. “Looks like I’m going to Florida!” 

---

It’d been three months since Dream asked George to move in with him, and every day he’d sent him pictures of their place. Their place. He doesn’t know why that made him so happy to hear, especially coming from Dream. When he showed George the lounge and texted him “our living room :D,”  he felt like his whole entire body was lit ablaze. Like a firework on the Fourth of July -- how American of you already, George, he could hear Dream’s voice saying. It felt like when his first girlfriend told him I love you for the first time. Except... not that. Obviously not that. 

And the day was finally here, after waiting for the visa to get approved, and video chats, and seeing only pictures, it was finally going to be their place. Dream and George’s place. There would be no more lagging video or Discord crashing on them. If the internet went out, he’d still be in the next room over. He’d still be his.

Well, not his. But he’d be there. George felt the need to explain himself even in his own head.

The sound of Dream’s Discord ringer cut through his thoughts, too loud for his own good. He stretched over to his desk and answered, turning his camera on too. 

“Georgie!” Dream said, bouncing with excitement. “Guess what tomorrow is, Georgie.” He leaned forward on his desk, wiggling his eyebrows at George. 

George feigned confusion. “I don’t know, Dream. What’s tomorrow?”

Dream pouted. “Are you being serious right now? Do you really not remember?”

“Dream! I’m literally packing right now!”

“I’m litch-rally packing right now!” Dream mocked, impersonating George’s British accent. George stared him down while Dream was folded over laughing. 

“It’s not too late for me to change my mind, you know.”

“Actually, it is. Work visas have to be used or you’ll get a fine,” Dream said, chewing loudly on what looked like — popcorn? God, Americans were weird. 

“Is that actually true or did you just make that up so I have no choice but to come?” 

Dream looked like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “...Maybe.” George laughed silently, smiling to himself. He would never say it out loud, but he loved Dream. He didn’t know what made him keep it to himself when Dream all but shouted it from the rooftops, but something inside of him felt it was too real to be said. Dream knew it was true, and that was good enough, right? 

“Did you want to watch me pack?” George said, folding another one of his shirts and placing it in the box. Dream wasn’t paying attention. He was messing with something on his desk, his tongue sticking out and his eyebrows furrowed so tightly you could barely see his eyes. George loved his eyes, they were a warm pale green color that fit him perfectly. George snapped his fingers at Dream and asked if he was listening. 

“Huh? Oh. No. I’m sorry,” Dream looked sheepish, worried. “I didn’t— I didn’t mean to, I just zone out sometimes, I’m really sorr—“ 

“Dream, Dream, calm down. It’s okay,” George smiled. “I’m not mad. Did you want me to ask the question again?”

“Please.”

“I asked if you wanted to watch me pack,” he asked, knowing which answer he hoped for. 

“Ooh, can I stay on?” Dream looked giddy as he asked. “I wanna tell you about my new bedwars record.”

“Sounds perfect, Dream.” 

---

It took him two more hours to finish packing up his clothes, bathroom necessities, and shoes, spare for the ones he needed on the plane. Dream had talked on and on for the whole two hours, about bedwars and what he was going to make for dinner, and how his mom sent him over homemade banana bread the other day. And even Patches made an appearance after a while. 

“Oh my God, Patches! I get to meet Patches! You know Dream, I’m kind of more excited to meet her than I am you.”

“Haha, very funny,” Dream cooed. “Not like Patches will make you dinner or comfort you when you have nightmares. 

“Nightmares? I do not have nightmares!” George defended, despite the fact he did definitely have nightmares. And he knew Dream knew that, he’d been the one called at 4 in the morning and the one who talked George back to sleep. It was all part of the game, though, the cat and mouse they had going on. He wondered who was the cat and who was the mouse

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Georgie. Oh, wait,” Dream smirked, laughing his ass off. George gasped and tossed his dirty shirt at his webcam, not minding the fact that it was still on his body and that he was now shirtless in his cold room. 

“Hey! I wanna see the view! You look sexy with your hair messed up like that.”

“Haha, very funny,” George fake laughed, though Dream didn’t. He usually laughed after jokes like that. What made this one different? “If I wasn’t so bloody cold right now I’d leave it on there. Make you suffer all alone under there.” He heard Dream whimper, and he didn’t know what it was, but it made his stomach churn. “But, I am very, very freezing right now.”

He pulled the shirt off the webcam, covering his chest with the fabric. “There. You have been freed,” he said, slipping his shirt back on. He swore he saw Dream’s eyes linger on the strip of skin still exposed on his stomach before he pulled it down. 

“I’m gonna go make some dinner,” George said, checking the time on his phone. “What, it’s already 9? Jesus. I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go make some cereal real quick, stay on the call.”

George put Dream’s volume loud enough that he could hear it decently from across the flat. Meaning, Dream could also hear him burning himself. 

“Did you just burn yourself? Aren’t you making cereal?” 

“Um…maybe?” he said, shouting over the cold running water. “I may have accidentally left the oven on from when I made salmon last night.”

“Last night?” Dream screamed in horror. “Genuinely, how are you not dead yet?” 

“I don’t know!” he said, wincing and drying off his hand before grabbing his bowl of cereal. Well, it wasn’t a bowl, but a large Tupperware container. 

“Is that Tupperware?” Dream asked as he sat down at his desk. 

“It was the easiest thing to unpack.” 

George ate his cereal in silence for a few minutes, drinking down the last bit of the sugary milk before asking “What were you staring at earlier? When you got distracted.” 

It took Dream a few seconds, but he finally remembered. “Oh! This!” He pulled out a tiny crossbow made of pencils and shot a rubber band at his camera. 

“That’s actually so sick,” George said, staring more intently at his screen to get a closer look. Dream went off on a tangent about it, showing him the mechanics and everything it could shoot. He swore he’d have another one for George by the time he got home. Home. He liked that word coming out of Dream’s mouth. He liked hearing it about himself. 

Eventually, it got too late for George to be up anymore. His flight left in 7 hours and he still needed to pack his PC. Dream pouted when he told him he had to go, but perked back up when he remembered the next time he’d see George, he’d be able to hug him! He was all but forcing his body to get tired after that. 

“Wake me up if you need me, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you, Georgie,” Dream smiled. This time, he didn't sound teasing. He sounded genuine, more genuine than he’d heard in a long time. 

“I… admire you too, Dream.” George’s face went flush and hot, his cheeks blotchy with pink and peach. 

“Psh! When are you ever gonna say it back?” 

“Never, I thought we’d been over this.”

“Mark my words, Georgie. I will get you to say it back sooner or later.”

Yeah, right.

---

a/n: so! that was the first chapter of Mr. Loverman! i’d love any feedback and opinions y’all have! the next chapter should be up in a few days, and i even have art from one of my lovely twitter mutuals coming! i hope everyone enjoyed! :D feel free to reblog<3

Chapter 2 - Linoleum Ground (date TBD)

[morgansyorkie]

Too Afraid of Losing You ~ Nolan Patrick

Summary: You’re a med student and you had to graduate early due to the Corona Virus pandemic happening in the Philadelphia area. You have been working insane hours and the exhaustion from it all has definitely took a toll not only on you, but on your boyfriend Nolan Patrick well. You both have come to realization on truly how each of you mean to one another and how much you need one another during this difficult time.

Word Count: 3,660 

Disclaimer: this is my first writing that I am posting, I hope that you all in enjoy it and would love to get any kind of feed back. Thank you :) Also thank you to @quinny-boy-hughes​ and @kravistonecny​ for giving my the courage to write and post this!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who would have thought that two months ago your normal life as a med student was going to change, but change in a way you never thought could happen. Sleeping was starting to become more and more difficult nor it never came at all. You frequently found yourself tossing and turning throughout the night or during the day depending on your crazy schedule. The world as you knew it was changing and not in a good way, your school decided to let all medical students graduate early if they chose to due to the pandemic that was happening here in America.  

Sixteen hours...sixteen hours later you were finally walking into your apartment in downtown Philadelphia feeling completely exhausted and worn out. Your shift was only supposed to be from 7 pm to 7 am a normal twelve hour nurse-based shift, but with the amount of cases that were pilling in overnight, your team had to work overtime to make sure there was enough room for everyone coming in. You quickly kicked your shoes off and headed straight to the bathroom so you can remove your uniform and jump into the hot scolding shower. As you were removing your clothing you noticed a note and a single red rose laying on the countertop of the sink. “You’re so amazing and I’m so proud of you” Love always Nolan

As exhausted as you were, you couldn’t help but smile at the little gesture that your beyond amazing boyfriend Nolan has done for you. Nolan is your absolute everything in this world, he has seen you go through so much while attending med school and knowing that your graduating year had to be cut short due to the Corona Virus outbreak put a toll on the both of you. He was looking forward to watching you walk across the stage and finally getting that diploma that you’ve worked so damn hard for. He was looking forward for after graduation to settle down some and enjoy sometime together and maybe start planning your guys future together before you landed your official nursing job at University of Penn. He was even in talks to the guys about proposing to you when the time was right, but now that’s all thrown out the window due to this insane virus that no one has control over.

Once you got out of the shower, you changed into some sweats and one of Nolan’s hoodies that he totally sprayed his cologne with overnight to make sure that it smelled exactly like him. You walked out of the bathroom and was surprised to see Nolan still spread out in your guys bed peacefully sleeping. Must have been a long night of video games, if he is still sound asleep at this time of the day. As much as you desperately needed sleep you didn’t want to disrupt your boyfriend so you headed towards the spare bedroom and crawled under the blankets. You turned to lay on your side but the scarring on your face made you jolt some, but after a while the cooling of the pillowcases felt good against your beat-up face.  

Nolan rolled over and looked at his phone which had a bunch of notifications that he could care less about, he saw that it was almost noon. He opened his text’s and saw that the last text from you was around eleven in the morning stating you were finally clocking out and heading home. But it’s almost been an hour since that text and he doesn’t understand why you’re not home lying in bed next to him. He got up and walked out of the room “Y/N? Y/N you home”? He asked in a low mumble tone. When there was no response, he got worried, he was about to grab his phone to call you when he noticed the guest bedroom door slightly closed and the bag with your scrubs in it laying out in the hall way. Seeing the bag out in the hall way made his nerves calm down a bit, he softly opened the guest bedroom door and saw you peacefully laying in the bed sleeping. He was glad to have you home safe, but he would be lying if he wasn’t a little hurt for the fact that you were sleeping in the guest bed instead of next to him in your guys bed.

You were finally getting some good sleep for once until you heard the loud ringing coming the night stand next to you. You sat up and rubbed your eyes a few times before answering the phone.  

“Hello?” You answered still half a sleep.  

“Y/N” I am so so sorry to wake you; I know how worn out you must be but I need you to come in for another overnight shift tonight. We just got about another 100 or so cases that rolled in from the time that you left and it’s getting out of hand here. We are going to need all hands-on deck tonight and tomorrow.” Your boss explained to you.  

You had no choice, you had to go in this is what you signed up for. Well not this exactly, but you knew that becoming a nurse meant you were going to have some really tough days and nights.

“Yes, of course I’ll be there for shift change at seven tonight” You said in mid-stretch and getting ready to hop out of bed since it was just pass three thirty in the afternoon.  

“Ugh thank you so much Y/N see you later hun.” Your boss said quickly and hung up

You walked out of the bedroom and headed towards the living room and kitchen area. You might as well start planning on cooking a big meal since you don’t know when the next time you will be able to eat a proper meal next. You saw Nolan sitting on the couch with his gaming headset on, trying his best not to yell into the mic at the person on the other end which was most likely Travis and maybe Carter.

“Dude Trav what the fuck are you doing? You just shot me I am on your team you stupid idiot, such a dumbass, god you are so fucking bad at Call of Duty.” Nolan said into his headset.  

You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself and shake your head at the site of Nolan. You walked over and leaned over the back of the couch to run your hand through Nolan’s hair and give him a quick kiss on the cheek before heading into the kitchen.  

“Hey guys, I gotta go.” Nolan said as quickly as he could before shutting down the game and throwing his headset onto the coffee table.

You’d just finished getting out some pots and pans to start preparing a meal of spaghetti and meatballs when a pair of familiar strong arms wrapped themselves around your torso and a nose nuzzled into your neck.  

“Done your game already.” You said giggling.  

“Why were you in the spare bedroom?” Nolan questioned, as he spun you around so he could properly kiss you.

“I slept in the guest room because you took up the whole bed and you looked so damn cute and peaceful that I didn’t want to disrupt that. It's been so hard for me to even get a good night’s and in this case a good day’s worth of sleep lately so when I was done showering and found you sprawled out, you looked so peaceful. That I didn’t have the heart to ruin your beauty sleep in case I couldn’t fall asleep.”

I appreciate that babe…but I missed you.” Nolan breathed. “Was worried that something happened to you or that something had happened at the hospital.”

“Nah…never.” You insisted. “Not when I have you here to come home to after a long exhausting shift at work.”  

With Nolan’s arms bringing you closer to him and him resting his head over your shoulder you sighed softly.

“Baby, what’s wrong and why are you cooking now? I thought that we were just going to snuggle and relax tonight and order some take out.” Nolan said as he played with your hair

“Plans changed...” You said barely above a whisper

“Y/n? What’s going on?” Nolan asked while stepping next to you so he can get a good read at the expression on your face. He knows how exhausted, worn out and beat up you have been lately. Seeing all of scars on your face every time you walk through that door reminds him how serious this virus actually is, it reminds him how scared he is that you are on the front lines during this time and how he doesn’t exactly know what you are battling every day, hour and minute.

“My boss called...hundreds of more cases came flooding in after I left the hospital, we need all hands-on deck. So, I have to head back down to the hospital later for another overnight shift.” You spoke softly as you pour the pasta into the boiling water and went to the freezer to grab the bag of meatballs.

“Y/n...no you were supposed to have the rest of the evening off, you weren’t supposed to go back into work until tomorrow morning. We were finally supposed have a relaxing night together, I feel like I don’t get to see you anymore.” Nolan said grabbing your hand squeezing it tight afraid that he might never get another relaxing night with you again.

“Patty, trust me I more than anyone in this world want that. I just want to crawl onto the couch and in your lap and just wish this horrible nightmare of a virus away, but it’s not like that. It’s getting worse by the hour and minute it seems like now and I just can’t say no. I just can not just not show up when there are higher doctors and nurses out there who never really get chance to go home and see their families and loved ones.” You said squeezing his hand back and kissing his soft lips to reassure him how much you love him.

“Here why don’t I finish dinner and we can sit outside on the balcony and enjoy some fresh air…” Nolan said picking up the ladle. “Then we can have a little cuddle session before you have to leave for the night.”

“‘Deal.” You said in agreement, while quickly rising up onto your tippy toes to plant a kiss onto Nolan’s lips before grabbing the place settings for outside. Being a med student wasn’t easy, but it was certainly easier with Nolan by your side the whole entire time. Now being a freshly new nurse isn’t easy either especially during this pandemic time, but again it was certainly a lot easier with Nolan by your side.

Nolan brought out dinner and you two just shared the moment that you were in. Eating a great dinner together while enjoying each other’s company and looking off into the cities sun. Every now and then you would glance over and give Nolan an adorable look and smile. He would try to give you the same reassuring glance back, but you knew there was something off with him. His eyes didn’t have that sparkle or shine to them like they normally do and it worried you.

After dinner, you joined Nolan in the lounge chair that he was sitting on and crawled in between his legs so your back was snuggled up to his chest and he could tightly wrap his arms around you.

“I can’t wait for this new normal to be over. I can’t wait to actually get my diploma and hopefully have an actual ceremony or at least party to celebrate my hard work with our friends and family. I can’t wait to see what an actual regular day of work is going to look like, a day where I don’t have to wear protective gear 24/7 and have to social distance myself from everything and everyone that I love.”

“Can’t wait for that too...” Nolan said barely above a whisper

Nolan’s voice alarmed you, you spun around so you were facing him. You looked up at Nolan and could see a sea of tears forming in eyes and a few slightly falling down his face.

“Nolan, baby are you okay, baby what’s wrong you’re worrying me.” You said grabbing onto his shoulder and running your hand through his hair.

“No..I’m not okay y/n... I’m scared...I’m scared as hell.” He said mumbling  

“Scared about what Nols? Baby please talk to me; you’re really worrying me here. I have never seen you like this.” You said wiping a tear away from his face

“I’m scared to death of losing you Y/N. Ever since this virus has gotten more and more out of control it has frightened me more each and every single day. Every time you walk out of our door it kills me not knowing if that will ever be the last time that I get to see your face, hold you and kiss you. I’m so damn afraid that one of these days you aren’t going to be walking through those doors again and right into my arms. I can’t imagine my life without you Y/N, I’m so incredibly proud of you don’t get me wrong you’re a fucking super hero in my eyes but you’re also my girlfriend who I’m madly in love with who one day I hope to make my wife and the mother of my children. It’s like I need that reassurance to know that every time you leave to fight this virus that you’ll be able to come home back to me. It's why I have arguments with my mother on daily occasions about why I decided to stay here instead of flying back home because of the season being postponed. It’s because in reality I could never live with myself if I did that and god forbid something happened to you and I wasn’t here and I couldn’t get to you! It’s why I leave you little notes with a rose in the bathroom so when you come home you know that I was thinking about you the whole entire time you were on the front lines at work. As much as you hate not being able to sleep properly lately, I kind of love it because I can be there to protect and comfort you through it all y/n. I feel better when I have you tightly in my arms, I feel better when I’m able to look at you from a far, I feel better when I can play with your hair and kiss your lips. Over all I’m a better person when I am with you, if you don’t believe ask Travis and Carter, they have heard it all.” Nolan said full on breaking down at this point

You have never seen Nolan this vulnerable before, in all the years that you have been dating. It killed you to see this side of him, you never realized how much this was also affecting him until now.

You grabbed his face with both of your hands and kissed him like you have never kissed him before. You pulled away and leaned your forehead against his and wiped away a few more tears. “Nolan Patrick, I promise you I will always come back home to you.” You said looking straight into those gorgeous eyes that you love so much.

You looked at the clock and saw that it was 7:05 in the morning, you were hoping to run into your boss so she can give you the all clear to head home. Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen until a few hours and a break down alone in the hall way later. Your one coworker made sure to give Nolan an update every so often to let him know and that you were alright even though you weren’t. But she didn’t want to worry him anymore than he already was, plus she did it since you were too busy running around and forgot to leave your phone on the charging station to charge.

One O’clock...One O’clock in the afternoon that is the time that the clock read when you were able to finally clock out for the day. An eighteen-hour shift was way more than enough that you could ever possibly handle. You looked into the mirror and could barely recognize the woman staring back at you. It wasn’t you, this woman had dark bruised circles and lines around and under her eyes. This woman had broken and cracked lines on her cheek bones, where her mask had laid and dug into her. The only good thing that is coming out from these past horrific days is that your boss was giving you the next few days off to rest and compose yourself.

You drove yourself home and the moment you parked your car in the garage exhaustion took a new total on you. You didn’t member the elevator ride up to your floor, you didn’t remember walking down the hall to your apartment door and noticing all of the lovely and cute little notes that the children on your floor made for you and hung on the front door for you to see every day. You didn’t remember walking in and taking off your shoes and heading straight to the bathroom to take your routine hot shower. The only thing that brought you back to normal thought and time was the strong arms of Nolan wrapping you up tight into his arms while leaning next you on the cool bathroom floor.

“Shh, let it all out baby. It’s okay y/n I’m here..I’m here. Just please talk to me.” Nolan said while kissing your hair and rubbing your shoulder

“In the eighteen hours that I have worked I have seen way too many deaths than I ever wanted to see in my life Nolan. People are dying alone..because their loved ones aren’t allowed to come in contact with them. Its people of all ages young and old. Some I stood by their side because it broke my heart that they were dying alone. I broke down in a hallway at work, because I don’t understand how we are going to continue to fight this. You aren’t the only one who is completely scared to death, I am too. I am scared just as much as you are about not being able to return home and being able to crash into your arms. Nurses are already starting to get tested for the virus in different departments and floors and I’m so worried that soon we will have to be tested. I’m trying not to think of the worse, but what if I get tested and I’m positive I can’t imagine never being able to see or talk to you again. You deserve so much better”  

Nolan brushed a piece of hair behind your ear, brushed the falling tears away from your cheek with his thumb and turned your face so you were looking right at him. “Don’t think like that baby, you are one strong woman. Each and every single day I find more and more reasons to fall in love with you. This pandemic made me realize to appreciate and love the little things in life more, to hold and adore your loved ones a lot closer. I can’t imagine what you and your staff are going through day in and day out but know that I will always be here waiting for you, so I can ease your mind and try my best to take it all away from you. If anyone deserves better it’s you y/n, I’m just a bonehead professional hockey player. But you, you are a talented young woman changing the world every single time you out walk of this apartment. Here come with me, I have something I want to show you and I think that it will make you feel a lot better.” Nolan said picking you up and carrying you into your guys bedroom and placing you onto the bed.  

Nolan took out his iPad and handed it over to you and started playing a video for you. It was a video that the entire Flyers team put together thanking you for everything that you are doing during this crazy and difficult time. Even Gritty made a special appearance for you in the video which told made you light up and giggle. They even went on and talked about how such an amazing person you are and how much you mean to not only Nolan but to them as well. They were so grateful and thankful for you and it warmed your heart so much to hear them say it. The video ended with Nolan obviously getting emotional about much he is so proud of you and how he can’t believe that you were willing to get your degree early and risk your entire life just to save others without any hesitation.

Once the video ended you looked at Nolan and thanked him, this is what you needed to help you get through these times.

“I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us, if we can get through this together than we sure can get through anything in life together.” You said leaning in and closing the gap between you with a kiss

“As long as I have you in my arms, I don’t care where life take us. I realized that as long as you’re in my life that I have officially won no what matter. You’re my absolute everything y/n and I wouldn’t change it in a heartbeat.” Nolan said cupping your cheek and kissing you passionately  

Nolan was right, as long as you had each other you knew you were always going to be safe and have strong arms to come decompose home too.  

[gav-san]

White as the Driven Snow

-Wash-

1/7

------

You wondered how long it had been since you had seen the sky. Or breathed fresh air (and not the sharp ventilated afterbite of it). It was too long since you held felt the prickly blades grass between your toes or the wind fluttering your hair. Too long since you had seen the sun.

Your skin had once held a rosy glow but now was reduced to a sickly shade. This seemed supremely ironic as being locked away underground was supposed to prevent the grime and grit that the world above offered. But like a child picking up a dirty lollipop of the street, some things couldn't be prevented by you alone. Not that you would scream. No one would hear you, and at this point, you wondered if anyone good was even looking.

Your mother never exactly revealed why you weren’t allowed to meet her side of the family (totally understandable in retrospect), and your dad had been remarried after your mother’s death. Now all of that growing apart and not calling much was going to get you killed. 

But even if your life had been truly unfair in many respects, there were a lot of good things going on. You were in your second year of college, part of your college’s cheer squad, famous for performing at the UA sports festival, and had lots of friends.

This was not the slightest bit fair.

The slightest uncareful sound from your lips could cause these monsters to descend again, but not for any rational sort of torture. These masked creatures with false beaks were a special sort of savage. Clean wasn’t good enough for the plague doctors.

You needed to be spotless. Pure.

Ever since they had invaded the safety of your home, kidnapping you, all they murmured about was making you pure enough.

You hated that word.

You weren’t sure what the correct definition of Pure meant, but you soon got a dark idea of what it entailed.

Stolen, you had imagined many horrors. Human trafficking was not common in Japan, but it did happen. Girl shackled to beds, placed on drugs so they could neither escape mentally or physically. The plush doctor’s office didn't entirely fulfill that morbid fantasy. And upon waking, it took hours to connect the dots. Not until the female doctor with a large wart on her cheek gave you the worst surprise appointment of your life, did you fully realize how twisted the situation was. You didn't speak, trying to pick up on any fragment of conversation.

But all you heard were mutters of Overhaul, requests, Hassaikai, and those meant nothing to you.

Strapped up by one of the ‘expendables’ as they called themselves, you were subjected to several cosmetic procedures, some dangerous, teetering between being vaguely awake and unconscious. You finally break, begging for an explanation, and receive none, just a gag accompanied by a breathing mask. The woman examined you from head to toe, removing moles, and just so much touching. Lasik, teeth whitening, minor surgery, freckle removal, chemical peels, and microdermabrasion. She probably had some sort of medical quirk, because you should not have been able to do so much so quickly. Any hair specifically not on your head was lasered off, and your skin scrubbed and polished with creams that removed any hint of spots or blemishes.

The last memory in that awful office was of a large needle, and finally, through the cloth in your mouth, did you screech.

You awoke out of the drugged stupor with breathing mask strapped on you. No longer strapped down you quickly sat up, but didn't tear it off. You could feel the heaviness in your chest, and waited a long while, trying to take in your surroundings before doing anything rash. Your mother, long paranoid of some monster sweeping you away, had taught you to remain calm in an emergency. The long white dress you are in is light, and cool air pierces it easily from the air conditioning in the ceiling. The bed is screwed to the ground, and so you can't even adjust it away from the airflow.

The whitewashed room was small, featureless save for a large TV embedded behind glass in the far wall. The bare outline of a door was next to it, and it looked so much like a mental ward that panic did fill you. What had happened? Surely you had never done anything to warrant this! You tried to think of what had happened... Your last memory wasn't so clear, just you sitting at the dorm room kitchen counter, eating cereal. There was a knock on the door, strange as most people are on spring break. Perhaps a roommate got locked out? You opened the door, and then it was nothing... just black.

Clarity and an explanation don't come quickly.

Your only link to the outside world is the instructions that occasionally flash on the TV.

EAT. Meals appear on cue, painfully scanty and light.

SLEEP. The bare light on the ceiling goes out.

EXERCISE. You are not a lazy person. You had been on the Mustafar University Cheer team, taking tumbles, dancing and flirting riotously at events. But they don't care about your muscles and refusals. They want you thin, not fit. With a diet that rivaled celebrities and daily exercise routines, your body became slender and lean.

The day SHOWER appeared on the screen, you were perplexed. They had left you to sit in your filth and sweat for days, so the change in routine was sharp.

You didn’t have a shower in the room, and so the moment the door opened you got a real look at the monsters who moonlighted your nightmares.

It's another woman, with ugly, bulbous eyes and arms that twisted into tentacles as the elbow. Someone who would be bullied. Some quirks were worse than none. An ugly retort was on your tongue but as she lumbered forward, something black and viscous dripping from her body, you zipped your lips shut. A large, bird mask lay on her features, the beak twisted and unfriendly, like a toucan with a disease.

Down flat empty halls with no windows, she led you to a bathroom contained the most high-powered torture device spray possible. Brutal water pressure and you discovered one of the guards was female, as she was the one who forced you in, sprayed you down, and stuck soap all over you, all while telling you how fortunate you were. Apparently, your mother happened to be the second child of a prominent mobster, and the current head was looking for someone in the family to marry and continue the bloodline. You earned a slap when you suggested that your dog was still single. She told you since you were quirkless, you might as well be a dog.

You didn’t know how much more you could take. Any more showers and ritualistic cleanings by people with gruesome quirks who refused to look at you for long, only scrubbing when you have been insufficiently rubbed raw.

The smell of disinfectant and whatever was in the awful shampoo was all you smelled anymore, and they used something similar for laundry, done daily, if not more often. Was there a thing as too clean? You had never been dirty but this was an obsession. They were a cult of cleaning fanatics, and your body was their fixation. The mere white dress was your only article of clothing.

Even if you still had the strength to fight, the red reminder on your skin still stung from the decontamination chamber (what as you had named it). The tips of your fingers were still shriveled and pruned from grabbing the bottom of the shower. There was no more fight on you tonight, just the little desire to sleep.

Which is why you almost broke into sobs when the door opened again. She was back.

“The boss is coming tonight for final evaluation. We need to finish making you presentable.” 

“How  thoughtful.”

“Watch your mouth. Overhaul has little patience, and even if you share blood with the old boss, he will finish you himself.” She didn’t slap you. Instead, she just gazed at you with dark, hateful eyes.

“Is that his name then?  Overhaul?”  This earned a smack.

“You will treat Master Overhaul as a god. For all intents and purposes, he is one.” She carefully wrapped you in one of her clean tentacles. You didn’t get the heavy bath treatment, and you realized that she was being unusually considerate as she ushered your down endless long hallways. At the end of one, she opened a door and your eyes widened. 

Did it look like... a beauty parlor? In a mafia hideout? 

Not totally new, but spotless, and utterly white like everything else. There was a nervous-looking woman there to transform you was in all white as well. You looked at her, and she turned away, unable to look you in the eye. You turned to a mirror and didn't question why.

“Make her pretty. Try not to use much makeup. The boss has no patience for unclean things, so nothing with a heavy scent either.”

The technician went to work. There was the first hint of color as she opened her bag, glorious colors of tan, orange, brown and off white. The fierce smell of a beauty salon escaped and for a moment you were outside again. It made the next bit bearable, the part where she painted you, fixed your hair, and made your look alive. Unwilling to drag the terrified looking technician further into the delusion, you didn’t fight her. 

As she finished curling your hair, you glanced at the mirror, to see how she had done. What you had seen in the mirror for twenty years was gone, replaced by an almost photoshopped version of you. Real people didn’t look so strange. It wasn’t you.

A huge wave of nostalgia and misery hit you, bringing tears to your eyes. You desperately wanted your couch, sitting and watching some reruns of CSI or something normal. You just wanted to be normal again, eat ramen and wear your hair in a ponytail and enjoy the sun. Now pretty, clean and polished, you were given another white dress, this one much more fitted than the smock you had been in. Forced into the snug creation you were dragged to the last room.

You weren’t this woman in the mirror. You didn’t diet to be this thin or have hair this color or have eyelashes this long. This was a lie. And after the tears subsided, your only slim comfort was that it would be over soon. It was coming, the moment you couldn't do it anymore.

Mob blood withstanding, you were a bit mouthy, and that never boded well for you around people who had large egos. You had already lost several jobs and were barely funding your college tenure with your latest one at a bookstore. Well... had. It was just so unfair. 

A bitter thought kept coming to you, over and over. 

Where were the heroes?

The tentacle around you tightened.

“Don’t cry. I’ll get angry if you mess it up.” You sniffed, anger coursing through you. Who did these people think they were? If you were going down, you decided that they were all coming with you.

  The end of the line was one last room, generously sized, but filled. Rushed in by the tentacle woman, you still had time to see the final set-up. There were several other women here, all dressed the same as you. Each with their own handlers, each looking upset and panicked as the situation rightfully called for, each sitting tied to a chair, hands tied behind them. They looked to you, eyes wide and fearful, and you gazed back, understanding and upset.

You were led to the end, the last seat available, and forced into the same position. And then the entire group waited, and not a single soul uttered a word. Their handlers had beaten obedience into them. Well, for the moment.

The slowly growing dread that was starting to eat away at your nerves, and it was only a matter of time. Someone finally broke down, the girl with pink hair at the other end, a sob erupting. It was followed by a hard slap, and the sounds of a rag being stuffed in her mouth. She choked on the vile cloth, but finally managed to calm down, her 'handler' swearing viciously at the mess. 

Ten minutes passed.

Twenty minutes. Two more girls broke. They both received a rag in their mouths.

Thirty minutes. 

Fourt-

 The door opened.

 In a world rife with quirks that deform and mutate it isn’t unusual to see people who are suffering from the backlash of horrendous deformation and downright disability. It was almost as common as not for someone to be born with pink or green hair, then just brown or blonde. You hadn't given much thought to who are the monsters behind this desecration of women is, but you are sure he is no catch. How could someone who is so merciless to a potential wife be anything but ugly?

The other girls are curious as well, and you see eyes struggling to stay down. But caution is hardly going to help at this point, so you glance up. And before your head is shoved down, into your knees, you catch a glimpse of a pale face, delicate shaped, and exquisite amber eyes pointed away in disgust. Your chest feels an uncomfortable weight as you realize that not only ugly men are monsters. Even handsome men with glossy, golden eyes can be them, and the color sticks in your eyes, burning them. It’s not even an uncommon color, yet paired with black lashes and a narrowed expression, they appeared to be glowing. All of this is topped off with a bird mask.

No, you tell yourself, this must be the son of the man.

After a moment your thoughts return, enough to hear the sound of the man's measured steps, hurried and impatient. They come near, examining each downturned head, and you wonder if he can even see your faces. You can only see the faint image of your plucked face in his shiny leather shoes that appear in your downturned vision. You faintly register a second pair of shoes that follow, light as a child, but don’t see anyone.

“Repulsive. They’re all filthy.” He says, and you realized that this is the boss. There's no mistaking it. This was the guy with the phobia. It shocks you, as mob bosses were never this young, handsome or disgusting... right?

You don’t know his age, but his voice can’t be over thirty. It's something from a well to do accountant, not firm and deep like an evil All Might, but almost cracking and boyish. But such a mild voice wasn’t running off numbers. Just contemplating just how unworthy you all were. Obviously, the group hasn’t made a good showing. You can’t bring yourself to care anymore. All rational emotion has left you discontent, and needing a drink of water.

A high voice answers the boss, some lacky, probably with a crap quirk.

“These are the best we could find. Each is from an aligned mafia family, and most are quirkless. If not, well, that’s always fixable.”

One of the girls sobs through the napkin in her mouth, and you can imagine the anger in his glowing topaz eyes.

“You think any of these creatures are worthy of being next to me. Look at them. They are shaking. A disobedient woman is just as bad as a being  unclean.” The boss says flatly. "Where's Chronostasis-"

A monster with a cleaning disorder, and a bigot. He's talking like it's your fault, that you were here by choice, and your chest fills with a disdainful, mocking swearword. Unable to contain your utter vitriol as the absurd conversation, you wheeze out a  laugh. Well, at least it wasn’t the swearword, you think fatefully.

The room goes deathly quiet.

The other women are quiet, knowing you have just signed your death warrant, the first of the day. The leather shoes had retreated out of sight, but the sound of them returning is ominous. Not only that but the hand on the back of your head has twisted you forward painfully. She's very upset, you guess. The position is bad, and your lungs struggle to function properly. Tears pool in your eyes, and the makeup in coming off. Your hands strain, trying to escape the bounds. Your accompanying cough does nothing to improve your case. If there was ever a sign of uncleanliness, you’ve displayed it. Perhaps all those freezing cold showers had, ironically, gotten you sick.

One moment you are coughing to death, the next you are on the ground, the chair under you cracking into a million pieces. The surprise takes the air out of your lungs, and you manage to stop coughing. Your hands are freed, though still tied together, and wood in poking your back. Your dress rides up dangerously to your thighs.

None of this matters as much as the hands that are firmly around your throat. Small ones. For on top of you is what looks like a stuffed puppet come to life, a bird mask attached to his front. The top of the beak is dangerously positioned over your throat, weirdly strong for being a puppet. You laugh again, hysterical, and he drags your throat up.

“How  dare you insult Overhaul!” He says, and you slowly blink the mascara away, senseless.

The puppet turns up, glowering. The tentacle woman is in trouble. 

“Who is this creature who you have brought?!?!” The masked woman is pressed against the wall, sweat pooling around her face. Her tentacle hands are gripping the wall. “We  instructed you to only bring the best!” His hand is getting tighter, and your already strained breathing is getting even harder.

“She’s the old bosses granddaughter, from his estranged second daughter.” The woman whispers, frightened to death.

There's an audible pause. 

  “Mimic. Don’t kill her just yet.” The voice of the boss says, breaking the silence. The hand around your throat loosens, just a touch.

“She’s..." The words seem to fail the creature named Mimic. "Her? His granddaughter? The one?”

The handler nodded, and Mimic's hand is suddenly gone from your throat. You breathe in that overly sterile air, unsure of what had just happened. Had you been saved from death? You slowly sit up, coughing violently in your sleeve, and once the attack is over, you look around you.

The other girls and their handlers are gone.

Before you is a pair of black slacks, and you can see the expensive fabric he's wearing, though his ankles are bare between his white shoes and the pants. Your eyes trail up, slowly taking in the man before you, hitting the thick brown belt, hands in white gloves, a green parka with a purple color, until you see a mask that belongs 1656 and resolutely look down. You don't want to see his eyes again.

You have the undivided attention of Overhaul, who is giving you a similar appraisal, taking in the softness of your mouth, a slender tilt of your shoulders, the curve of your waist under the dress.

You wondered if he would lift his foot and crush your skull in himself, or if he saved that sort of thing for his cronies. 

A hand reaches out and not aware enough, you don't flinch. The plastic glove encasing his hand brushes your cheek, coming away with black and tan makeup. He brings it up to examine it himself, putting two fingers together to rub the colors together.

"My apologies. I didn't realize that you had come." You aren't sure what to say to such unhinged civility he provided. "It looks as though your stay here has been less than what is demanded."

You aren't looking up, so you don't see that his gaze has turned away from you, twisting to the woman on the wall behind you. You don't even realize it's happened until it's over. One moment the mob boss is standing before you, the next he has moved beside you, hand clutching the handler who had done little to gain your favor. But you don't realize that your silence is enough to sentence her.

You look over just in time to see him holding her.

As his hand squeezes the trainer’s face the woman just...  explodes.

Blood, organs, and sick flesh litter the room behind him, and your eyes widen in disbelief and disgust. Red drops hit your white dress and your feet move before you can think. Fear floods you, the ache in your back fades to a thrum as you scramble up, standing next to the door, trying to open it. It is shut like it never was meant to be opened in the first place. You glance back to him as he is straitening his stance, looking furiously animalistic at the mess he has made.

But upon hearing your cry of fear, the sound of your nails against the door he seems to regain sense.

He straightens, walking forward to the door, his one, plastic-covered hand placed on it. He's boxed you in, and you are forced to stare at his mask, refusing to look in his eyes. Never look into the eyes of a wild animal.

"It seems as though you will need some adjustments. Your mother has done you a disfavor." He doesn't explain himself, just raising a bloody hand to raise your chin. You don’t break into tears, just close your jaw so your teeth stop chattering, refusing to look him in his eyes. You can see that perhaps it's not just a mental disorder, as his skin has broken out into hives where the blood has touched, red angry boils that marr his pretty face.

He puts a plastic-encased finger to your lips. Nothing happens. 

“Acceptable. If just  barely .” It’s a threat and a promise rolled into a proposal you couldn’t refuse. 

Read more at https://archiveofourown.org/works/21353212/chapters/50860795

[mothmansfriend]

when i’m happy oh god i’m happy

TW: alcohol abuse, non-graphic sexual content, unhealthy coping mechanisms, self harm (in many forms), drug use, couchsurfing, mentions of delusions and paranoia, otherwise reckless behaviour

Note: this takes place in @illogicallyinclined’s hockey au and is a Prequel this is supposed to represent what Remus’s manic episodes look like everyone is different, but im using a mix of my own experiences with bipolar i and some friends who were willing to talk about theirs, then changing it to fit Remus’s existing Absolutely Feral personality, Jared and Payton are OC’s and teammates of Remus, the three of them are known for wrecking havoc at all times because none of them possess a braincell.

The art studio was empty, filled only by the assorted music of Remus’s sculpting playlist on the bluetooth speaker he brought in, and Remus himself. His hands glide through the wet clay and he basks in the slimy feeling between his fingers. Remus’s hair is held back by a small headband and he is wearing a tank top and jogging pants already covered in various mediums he has used through the day. He does not know where the energy to finish every project for this semester came from but he isn’t about to object.

If you were to look around this studio, there is a high contrast painting of a tentacle creature that is unsettling in an almost unidentifiable way, half of a self-portrait which uses resin teeth as the main element, as well as his current project of a large cup shaped like a decapitated head. In short, while Remus believes these are his best pieces, the chances of the university permitting them to be displayed are very low.

Remus gets frustrated that the music didn’t seem to be filling his inspiration in the way he hoped he changes the song revealing it to be approximately 4am, and no texts received since he sent D a picture if the teeth pile around 10pm.

—

“Can you go wake Remus up and ask if he wants any breakfast, he really shouldn’t sleep in this late, even if it is Saturday” D asks from the stove while Roman grabs his carton of milk from the fridge and doesn’t bother grabbing a cup.

D grimaces at him as he chugs back the milk, once again thankful that they have separate ones (even if that is at fault of Remus deciding to mix apple juice with milk in the carton without alerting anyone else in the household). “He actually headed out like, real early this morning, I spoke to him when I got up for a shower at like six. He said he’d be back today though?” Roman replied ignoring D’s look.

“Well, that’s even weirder. I’ll make extras so he can eat when he gets back, it's already eleven.”

“Sounds good,” Roman noticing D’s almost done slides a few plates next to him and accepts D’s soft ‘thanks’.

Suddenly they hear someone miss the keyhole three times before getting it and entering. Unsurprisingly, it’s Remus inappropriately dressed for a casual outing, surprisingly he seems to be holding several bags full of merchandise. “Helloo roommates! Look what I bought!” Remus shouts, slamming the door with his foot and bringing his bags to the couch.

“Are those... cups?” D asks turning off the stovetop to curiously check out Remus’s merch load.

“Hell yeah they are! I figured since you-” He pokes at D, “Took away all our glass cups after me and Roman went to that last party, I would take it upon myself to replace them. Look!” Remus proudly pulls the ugliest Jar Jar Binks cup out of one of the bags.

Roman visibly recoils as his brother parades the worst cup he’s ever seen around their apartment. D rolls his eyes but collects the cup and hesitantly places it into the dishwasher. “Thank you, Remus, these cups are horrid but they’re functional, which, I guess is good enough. Though, how much did these cost?”

“No idea, probably around sixty bucks total though, maybe. I went to three different thrift stores. Look at this one!” Remus holds up a vaguely terrifying cup that seems like it may have once resembled Spongebob Squarepants to Roman.

“That’s… Great, Remus, thanks” Roman says taking the offered item.

—

The three make it to practice 20 minutes early because Roman likes to prove he’s dedicated and a good captain. Coach Thomas and Joan greet them and Thomas talks to Roman briefly as Joan finishes setting things up. D and Remus do some stretches as others begin to show up, D comments on Remus being shaky and Remus hops around quickly explaining that he just woke up with a lot of energy for some reason.

Coach Thomas reminds Remus to take his time during practices speeding through everything doesn’t work if he keeps messing up before he even makes it halfway through.

—

D is going to kill Remus tomorrow morning. The repetitive sound of the bedframe slamming against their shared wall, and Remus wailing like a cat in heat at 1am is not something he wants to deal with right now. It’s a Tuesday night and D knows Remus has a class at 11am, one that D will not let him skip because he decided getting laid was more important. How does Remus even get a man to willingly enter that nightmare of a room? D rummages through his bedside table for ear plugs and regrets giving Roman the far room so easily.

—

“Jesus- Hello? Do you know what time it is?” The tired voice answers the phone after the third time of going to voicemail.

“Of course I don’t, Jared, I’m not a fucking nerd! I just thought I might extend my offer of filling the fountain in the middle of campus with bubble bath and a swim to you and Payton! D already said if I woke him up he would cut my dick off and feed it to his snake,” Remus audibly pouted at the end of his sentence.

Despite it being three am, it didn’t take a lot for Jared to wake up Payton and agree to meet him just off campus to run to the 24/7 convenience store for soap for the fountain. Remus leads the group in talking a mile a minute about something that Jared and Payton actually missed out on entirely. They try to contribute but realize Remus doesn’t notice when they have their own conversation anyways. They listen to him vaguely flit through topic after topic and get lost and confused in his own sentences, and once the soap is collected, they head to the large fountain in the middle of campus.

The fifth bottle of soap has been discarded and the fountain is sufficiently bubbly by the time the three hockey players strip to their boxers and begin their bath. There are attempted drownings, bubble beards, and the fountain change being thrown around.

At some point Remus stops talking for a second, observing the lithium bulbs through the fountain streams and bubbles floating across the courtyard. For a moment, he thinks he’s never been this happy in his life, these last few days have been the best days of his life. He lets Jared and Payton know this and like stare at him for a moment before teasing him about going soft and a few “I love you, bro” “Dude, you mean so much to me” and such were exchanged. They leave moments before campus security’s due to do their rounds in the early morning and laugh when about an hour later they receive a campus-wide notification to avoid the courtyard for repairs.

—

Remus spends most of practice being more annoying than usual. He gets a bit more of a stern talking to than he has in a while, in response says that he’ll try to do better to prepare for the game this weekend.

—

He did not succeed and got an even sterner talking to by Coach Thomas and Joan, and then by Roman separately.

—

Remus has a brief moment of clarity regarding his spending habits from the last week and a half in the middle of his current project. His solution is instead of buying the club size container of hot sauce, he makes a trip to the Taco Bell off campus. After dropping off the rest of his goods at the apartment, it was pretty late in the evening and he was dressed in nothing but neon green basketball shorts, slides, and a pretty badly stained grey tank top. Thankfully, Florida weather permitted this, though the looks he had been receiving all day disagreed. It likely did not help that if prompted, Remus wasn’t 100% on the last time that he slept, but if he had to guess it was two or three days ago, but that was probably a maximum of five hours. Surprisingly, he had never felt so good in his life. He’s also pretty sure he’s said that a lot this week.

He leaves Taco Bell with a small meal bag full of hot sauce at no cost.

—

D doesn’t ask any questions when he uses the bathroom in the early morning and is met with the sight of Remus in the bathtub. He is covered in a large variety of substances. The floor is covered in Taco Bell hot sauce wrappers, there’s a box full of water balloons of various colours and sizes. Remus waves with his available hand before he resumes filling the current water balloon with what may be a bulk container of banana lube. D pisses, not bothering to ask Remus to leave and just pulls the shower curtain over a little before washing his hands and deciding to figure it out tomorrow.

The next day, D woke up around 10am to a few texts saying some prick is throwing weird water balloons at first years off this academic building on campus. D didn’t think much about it until he was leaving his 12:30 lecture walking past splatters of mayo, egg, egg shells, hot sauce, and more, all separately. While observing the damage he found Remus asleep on some grass outside said academic building and had to call Logan for help to get him home. The two are used to this by now and D reminds himself to tell Remus to clear his ‘great ideas’ with someone containing a braincell.

—

Remus spends a good majority of his day listening to one song in the living room of the shared apartment. He was there when D left for classes, he was there when Roman left a little later in the day, failing to go to his own classes at all that day. The second D returns for lunch Remus is trying to explain a hidden meaning in the song, D brushes it off and reminds Remus, that to pass his classes he has to at least go.

—

This is Remus’s third night out in an area of town he really doesn’t know. He went home yesterday for early practice before coming back out. He knows it didn’t go well.

In attempts to make himself feel better, he blew a guy who’s name he already forgot but was hot as hell, he lost count of the shots he’s done, but at least there’s no practice tomorrow. He doesn’t have to worry about when he goes home, doesn’t have to worry about Roman or D and their weird concerned looks. He’s doing great! Why are they concerned, they just don’t get it.

At 2 am everyone gets kicked out of the club. Remus walks six blocks with his new friends with the promise of couch space to crash on and additional alcohol.

It’s suddenly 4:47 am and Remus is the only one awake and all the booze is gone. He is sitting under lithium streetlights smoking a cigarette on the porch of a strangers house with the humid Florida wind enables him to sit comfortably without a jacket. There is a moment, with sirens in the distance that Remus lets his eyes go out of focus. For the first time in who knows how long, he feels present. There is cracked cement under his feet, a dog barking a few houses down, and he wonders why he’s even here. The hidden Prince twin, here, in a city he has only been to once for a tournament, in a stranger’s house, drunk off his ass, his phone dead. He takes time to wonder, is this fun to him? It has to be right? Why did he just leave without telling anyone? Spending nights on the streets, or finding someone to go home with just so he didn’t have to find somewhere else to sleep. Is this who he is now?

He doesn’t know if he can answer that. Remus shakes himself before putting out his cigarette on his arm and deciding it doesn’t matter.

He still doesn’t sleep that night, but plugs in his phone and decides he needs to go home soon.

—

This is a different club than the previous night, someone sold Remus a few pills earlier and he figured why not? He feels better than ever. He lets the man he’s making out with know that and he lets out a kind of raspy laugh that Remus thinks is the hottest thing. He lets the other man know that too before sticking his tongue down his throat.

—

Remus is in the park yelling. It is almost 6pm, he pauses for a moment, completely forgetting what he was yelling about. He realizes that he is pretty drunk. Remus would normally like to say he only drinks with an excuse, but he doesn’t remember why he’s drunk, or how he got to the park. This isn’t near campus, he doesn’t recognize this park at all. He just stops yelling and googles the next bus to take him home.

—

Upon arriving home and greeting D, Remus falls asleep in his room for almost 12 hours to make up for the missing sleep from the last four days. When he is woken up for food and offered tylenol for his hangover, he tries to tell them he doesn’t have one. They don’t believe him, but he takes the food. Remus makes a joke recalling how the other day all he had eaten was some stale croutons he found in a pantry and half a bottle of Fireball he found in the fridge nearby. The joke did not land, but he was too busy laughing about it to notice.

The three eat their Sunday lunch with small amounts of banter and D switching between who he agrees with based on who’s statement didn’t sound like it came from a six year old. As they clean up, Remus starts excitedly talking about something that’s topic changed around four times in one sentence. Roman feigns interest but got lost and doesn’t care enough; D listens and has to ask Remus to repeat things slower every few minutes.

—

Several times throughout the night, D hears Remus loudly leave his room to check the front door. In the early morning D doesn’t hear Remus return to his room, but faintly hears netflix turn on in the living room.

In the morning, Remus seems wary of the door but does not say anything.

—

One day while messing around in the kitchen Remus is struck with the need to just go. The urge is so strong that the more he stands still in the kitchen the more his body just begins to tremble with barely contained energy. He doesn’t quite know where he’s going yet, but as he grabs his wallet, double checking he has his bus pass and ID, a jacket, his phone, and his keys. Without telling anyone, he walks to the main exchange near campus where he hops on the first bus that arrives. The bus isn’t particularly busy, and it makes it easier for him as he settles into the back of the bus bopping to his music, but not having the focus to listen to a song all the way through. He hits his hands softly on the very 90’s looking patterned seats to the beat of the song, watching out the windows with both legs bouncing. He rides this bus to the end of the line and catches the next bus to arrive at that bus exchange that takes him into a new smaller city. The sun is beginning to set and he finds a pub to grab some food and a few drinks at.

An hour and a half and four drinks later Remus is fighting some asshole in the pub and they both get kicked out. He wanders these smaller streets buzzed and poking at forming bruises while he smokes a cigarette. He walks by a convenience store and two homeless men outside ask him for a cigarette, he shares and spends a solid amount of time socializing with them and gets some booze for his troubles. They eventually part ways when one of them come out from the bathroom with a pack of stolen cookies. The store attendant chases them away and Remus finds himself wandering down empty streets again. Eventually, Remus decides to sleep for a few hours curled up in a stairwell, he doesn’t quite sleep, but does relax. Again, in the sounds of small city life, yellowed flickering light bulbs, and humid wind, Remus wonders why he’s out here.

—

The flashing neon lights and bass heavy music resonate through Remus’s bones like electricity giving him a never ending feedback loop of energy. Just before the club closes Remus sweet-talks a kind of nerdy looking guy into taking him home, while he’s mostly just hoping to not sleep outside tonight, getting laid wont hurt either.

—

Sneaking out of someone’s house before they wake up isn’t something Remus is necessarily proud of, but he doesn’t want to risk them doing something cheesy like make him breakfast. Sorry sir, Remus is a Manic Pixie Nightmare Boy, do not catch feelings, do not use for your own character development. He laughs to himself a little walking down the morning rush streets.

—

After waking up in bed with a man he doesn’t remember meeting the night before is a little jarring, but this is not the first time. It makes him wonder briefly if something is wrong with him. Remus is tired. Exhausted with himself and getting a little tired of this much fun. Instead of finding a diner for breakfast he catches a bus home and asks Logan if they can hang out tomorrow. If anyone will force him to go home, go to practice, sleep and not give him a choice to study or not without expecting him to explain himself. It will be everyone’s favourite Large Nerd. Remus doesn’t know what’s happening or why he feels like this, but he needs to go home and stop this for a little bit.Virgil, D, and Logan will help him get things a little back on track.

[deadlygoddess85]

Ethernal Soul - Serie

- Part 8 -

Chapter 8 - Voluptuous temptations  

Pairing: San x Nina, Wooyoung x Jo, Andri x Yunho

Words: Too much

Genre: Fantasy, Vampire AU, smut, fluff. 

Song suggestion: Wicked Games - The Weeknd / Sacrifice - Black Atlass / Gravity - John Mayers. 

Characters presentation -The Vampires

Characters presentation - The Witches

/ CHAPTER 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 /

The feeling of San’s hands caressing every curves of her body, of his lips nipping at her sensitive neck and his teeth occasionally scrapping her tender skin, was overwhelming. The experience felt so surreal and seemed to make the rest of the manor just melt away. Nina moaned under the vampire’s touch, earning a deep groan from her lover as he continued his antic on her neck and collarbone.

The time seemed to have stop, leaving only the two of them, the witch realized they were not in the hallway anymore when she felt the plush material of a comforter under her body. San’s body hovered her small form, holding himself up with his arms on each side of her head, caging her under his muscular build.

He cupped her face with one of his hand, his thumb slowly brushed her lips before he crashed his mouth on hers with more passion and lust than before. His hand gently slid down her face, to her neck, following the curve of her plump breast, down her stomach and under the hem on her short dress. His fingers grazed the inside of her thigh, moving slowly, making Nina squirmed and whimpered in need for more. Until finally his fingertips reached her fold. Pulling her underwear to the side, San hummed, satisfied to feel her already so wet for him.

Nina moaned, her head sinking in the mattress under her when San sank two of his fingers inside her dripping core. The vampire started pumping them at a fast pace as he pulled himself up to kiss the witch with a newfound hunger. He just loved how she was writhing and whimpering for him. When he felt her walls clenching around his soaked fingers, he removed them from her and brought them to his mouth. Nina watched him lick her arousal from his digits while reaching for his protuberant bulge. She stroked him slowly, he groaned enjoying both her sweet taste on his tongue as well as the feeling of her hand on him.

Clothes were quickly removed and thrown on the floor leaving the two young lovers naked on San’s purple sheets. The young man crawled between the witch’s legs bringing his length to her dripping core. His free hand sliding up her body, caressing her soft skin, kneading her breast softly and playing with her sensitive nipples.

“You have no idea Kitten how much I crave you” his voice is low, sensual, honey to Nina’s ears.

It only took a few thrusts before he was fully inside of her, hearing her whine. The vampire wasted no time and started to move keeping a deep and steady pace, making sure to hit her sweet spot with every pushes.

Nina’s groans and whimpers gave away how much she desired him. Her velvety walls clenched hard around San’s length, making him moan in pleasure. Her climax built up extremely fast, as once again her core tightened around him. The witch let out a loud moan, digging her nails into San’s shoulders as she came undone.

The vampire could hold back no longer. He groaned loudly as his arms wrapped around her tightly, and he pushed in deep to release himself inside her. Sweaty and panting, San, pulled out and leaned his forehead against Nina’s before he laid a smile peck on her rosy lips,

“You’re so beautiful Kitten. I want you to know, you have me, today and forever.” His eyes, back to their normal shade of purple, were filled with love and desire, “I’m all yours Kitten” and he gently brushed his nose against hers.

Nina felt overwhelmed with emotions. She wrapped her arms around his shoulder and pulled him into a kiss, as close as she could, in a failed attempt to cover her small tears. San felt her wet cheeks but didn’t say anything. He simply gave her a loving smile, gently wiping away the tears and he rolled on his bed next to her, pulling her small body into his embrace. The young woman snuggled against his muscular chest, enjoying his unusual warmth and she whispered,

“And I’m all yours San!”

For the past two months, since Jo had that talk with Wooyoung in the garden, she was having dreams about him. No matter what the dream was, he would always appear randomly, like a convenient guardian angel.

At first it was cute, he would save her from embarrassing situations or from terrifying nightmares. Comforting her like she did for him in the garden. But it quickly got hotter.

It started with a kiss. That night Jo was dreaming about her prom night, and of course her date was Wooyoung. They were dancing on a cute ballad when the young man, kissed her. It was so vivid; Jo could feel the warmth of his plump lips on hers and his hands tightening around her waist while he was deepening the kiss.

Then, the kiss transformed into a passionate make-out session the next night. As soon as Jo started dreaming, Wooyoung would appear and pulled her on his lap, so she would straddle him. He would crash his lips on her, and they would stay like this, devouring each other’s mouth, hands exploring their bodies, until Jo would eventually wake up, all flustered and terribly aroused.

Jo would try to avoid Wooyoung in the manor, being too embarrassed when she was with him. She was starting to fall for the vampire, and she felt silly about it. Those dreams were just that…Dreams. Fantasies. But, when the night would come, she felt herself excited to fall asleep, in the simple wish of spending yet another delicious night of passion with the young man.

That night, when she closed her eyes to slip into a slumber, Jo found herself in what looked like a luxurious bedroom, she was wearing this very sexy black lace romper with matching underwear, that piece of lingerie was weirdly specific, she thought. And there he was, casually leaning against the dresser, his white button-up shirt opened, revealing his tone, muscular chest. He was eyeing her hungrily, his perfect lips between his teeth. He beckoned her to move closer and she did without hesitation.

When Jo was near enough, Wooyoung quickly wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him, wasting no time in kissing her eagerly. His mouth moved from her lips to make its way down her neck,

“You’re so beautiful Princess,” his voice was low as he whispered the pet name in the shell of her ear, “Will you let me have you tonight?”

The question made her fold drip with arousal. The witch silently nodded, too flustered to say anything that wouldn’t sound totally desperate. She felt him smirked in the crook of her neck. Wooyoung’s hands grabbed Jo’s ass, kneading the plump flesh with a strong grip, making the witch moaned softly.

Then, Jo founded herself on the plush bed with Wooyoung hovering over her. This dream was even more vivid than all the others. His hands on her naked body, caressing her skin with a delicate touch. His warm mouth kissing, nibbling, and biting every curve, giving extra attention to her round breast. His thick length pumping in and out of her clenching core at a slow pace, as he took his time thrusting deeply inside her.

“I could worship your body all night, every night, Princess.” He groaned as he continued to make love to her for what felt like hours.

Both their orgasms were strong and intense. She clamped hard around him, moaning in ecstasy as he let out the cutest whimper when he reached his high and released his seeds inside her.

Panting softly, still in each other’s arm, Wooyoung looked down at Jo. His intense green eyes studying hers,

“You brought me back to life, I love you”

And Jo woke up, sitting up in her bed. She was sweating. She was weirdly satisfied, and she felt her core was sensitive. ‘How is it possible from a dream?’ she asked herself. She could still feel him all over her.

Jo ran a hand in her hair trying to compose herself after such a dream. She would lay back down, trying to go back to sleep, but the rest of her night was sleepless, as she kept on thinking about Wooyoung words: ‘I love you’.

Andri poured a few drops of a pink liquid into a flask filled with a green-ish thick mixture softly bubbling over a Bunsen burner. The concoction fizzed releasing a small white smoke, Andri took the flask off the burner and poured his content into a beaker to cool.

The scientist leaned back in her chair, taking her security glasses off and huffed. She had worked on this potion for weeks, trying to find the right components and now that she found the right recipe, she was excited to show it to Yunho.

Andri stood up, stretching her arms over her head. Glancing at the small window over the bookshelf, she realized it was dark outside. She looked at her watch: 2:35am,

“Oh god!” she sighed. The witch moved quickly, trying to clean the place a bit before going to bed.

She was putting some herbs and components back into one of the cupboards when she felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist,

“Have you worked all night again, love?” The vampire’s warm breath on her neck made her shiver.

Looking over her shoulder at the tall man, she smiled leaning into his embrace,

“Well, someone here has to work.” Her sassy remark earned her a small pat on the butt,

“Hey! I was gone only for a few hours.”

Andri turned around to face her partner and gave him a cute grin,

“Well, while you were feeding, I worked on something I’m pretty sure you’ll love!”

She took his hand in hers and lead him to the experiment table she was working on. The vampire’s golden gaze moved from the table to Andri’s pretty face, not really knowing what he was supposed to look for.

Andri took the beaker in her hands and handed it to Yunho,

“Give this to Mingi”

The vampire looked at the green mixture then his beautiful eyes went back on Andri, questioning,

“I read your notes on the potion you are usually giving to him, The health potion! I made an alteration to it.” The scientist happily stated.

The vampire cocked an eyebrow, waiting for her to say more,

“By replacing the mud crab powder by purple Imp roots, adding twice the amount of magnesium and cooking the whole thing at an exact temperature of 92°F. You’ll get this fortified health potion. The effects are tripled, so Mingi will get his powers back and if my calculations are good, which I’m pretty confident they are, He will be fully healed after 10 intakes.”

Yunho looked at his partner in awed before he picked her up in his arms, giggling and peppering her with kisses,

“You are truly amazing. You have no idea how happy you just made me”

The vampire sat her on the exam table, his playful kisses changing into a sultry make-out session. The tension grew thick and hot; clothes were removed, hands and mouths roamed on each other’s bodies as Yunho worshiped her, making sweet love to her, slowly, sensually as she deserved.

-------------------------------------------------------

The relationship between the witches and the vampires is getting steamy...hope you enjoyed. 

All right reserved to DeadlyGoddess. DO NOT COPY!!!

------------------------------------------------------------

[spider-man-lover]

Nightmare (Irondad)

Notes: I have had this on my computer forever. In fact, it’s on my Wattpad @/love-peter-parker y’all should check it out. 

Tony Stark’s POV

I adopted Peter when he was a young boy. Only about 6 years old. That was before I created the Iron Man suits. Before everyone I loved was put at risk for being my family. 

2008. Peter was 7. This was at the press conference where I revealed my identity. 

“Truth is…” I took a deep breath and glanced behind me. My young son and Happy. I didn’t believe in bodyguards. There was really no use for them if I could fight them off myself “I am Iron Man.” Everyone cheered and asked questions. “I have to go. I am sorry to everyone whose questions didn’t get answered.” I walked out, Happy by my side and Peter on the other. I was making sure Peter wasn’t recognized so no one would touch my son. 

I got in the car, Happy driving so I could be in the backseat with Peter. 

“Hey, Pete.” I smiled. I really love him. He brought so much joy into my life. Every late night I would spend in my lab, I would spend time with him, too. If only I wasn’t so busy. It was my fault who made myself busy. I’m such an idiot.

“Hi, Dad.” Peter looked extremely exhausted. Poor kid. I must have really worn him out today. “Why do I have to hide?” I heard him ask. 

“To keep you safe from the bad guys.” I explain to my son. 

“But I could totally fight them off!” Peter shows me how by punching the seat in front of him.

“Please don’t punch the seats,” Happy rolled his eyes. I chuckle softly as I look at Pete. 

“Bud, I know you could, but I need you to be safer than fighting them. What if you got hurt fighting them off?” Now I really sound like a worried parent. God, having a kid really has its effects on you. 

“But dad…” Peter whined. 

“Ah-ah! Dad’s always right.” I say as Pete giggles. 

We get home to the tower and I walk in, Peter in my arms as he is sleeping. 

“JARVIS!” I say throughout my household. 

“Welcome home sir…” I hear JARVIS’s voice distort as I see a guy sitting in my living room, looking out the huge window. He isn’t facing me.  

“‘I am Iron Man’ You think you’re the only superhero in the world?” He turns around, but isnt in the light. I have a heavy, sleeping kid in my arms and really don’t want to talk to this guy. “Mr. Stark you’ve become part of a bigger universe. You just don’t know it yet.” 

“Who the hell are you?” I look at the man, confused as why and how he got into my living room.

He steps into the light. “Nick Fury. Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.” He states, looking at me confusingly. 

“Ah,” I nod my head ever so slightly. 

“I’m here to talk to you about the Avengers initiative.” 

“We can talk about this later. I, on the other hand, have a sleeping 7 year old in my arms.” I walk past him.

“Of course, Mr. Stark. We can have a chat after you put him to bed.” Nick Fury insisted as he sat down on my couch. I roll my eyes as I walk over to the elevator. I press the button that goes up to the bedroom floor. I get out, Peter slightly shifting his head. I go to his room and tuck him in. I kiss his forehead and tell him ‘I love you’. I am really not looking forward to talking to ‘Nick Fury’. 

“Alright,” I am down in the living room again and have already sat down in a chair across Fury. “What’d you need?” 

“The Avengers initiative.” Fury talks to me for an hour before he gets called away. Everytime he spoke I would usually just say “Okay,” or “Ah,” as a response because I didn’t really know how to respond. 

“Nice meeting you,” I usher him out of my house. He only nods in return and I take this time to notice that I am actually tired. I go up to my bedroom and change into pj’s. I fall asleep watching my favorite tv show. 

3 hours later. Around 3 am.

I wake up suddenly to sniffling coming from the other side of my room. 

“Buddy?” I croak, my voice hoarse from talking a lot the day before. 

“Dad? I- I had a bad dream…” Peter sniffled and walked over to me. 

“Aw, wanna talk about it?” I pick him up and set him on my bed. “JARVIS? Put the lights on dim please.” 

“Of course, sir.” The lights turn on to the lowest setting. It was still bright enough to see my son, though. 

“U-uh… sure.” Peter sighed.

“You don’t have to. It was a suggestion.” I softly smile at my boy. 

“Well, I kinda want to talk to you about it because it involves you.” 

“O-oh. Then by all means.” I say. 

“So, it started out as this giant purple guy fighting me, you and all of these other peop- Well, not all were necessarily people.” Peter takes a deep breath before starting again. “Dad, you were really getting the punches though. You looked so rough and beat up.” 

“Oh, buddy,” His dream sounded terrible. 

“But, wait, it gets worse.” How could it get worse? My 7 year old is envisioning me kicking someone’s ass, but I am losing. “You end up taking these ‘stones’ and put them on your armor. Kind of like your Iron Man armor, but that was broken. The purple giant says “I am inevitable” and snaps his fingers. I am not sure of what was supposed to happen.” At this point, Peter and I were fully awake. “But, then, Dad, you lift up your hand and say “And I… am Iron Man.” and then you snap your fingers.” 

“W-what happens after that? Please don’t say it gets even worse.” 

“Oh, no. That wasn’t even a bad part.” Peter gulps as he continues. “Everything goes white and I see you practically dying-”

“WHAT?” I exclaim. 

“Y- yeah..” He sighs. “I go over to you and say “Me. Stark? Hey, Mr. Stark, can you hear me? It’s Peter. Hey. We won, Mr. Stark- We won, Mr. Stark. We won. You did it, sir. You did it.” You didn’t respond at all. I continued talking, “I’m sorry,- Tony-” That’s when I woke up, crying.” By this time we were both in tears. 

“Oh, Pete,” I hug him so tight to make sure that his demons go away. “I assure you… That- That will never happen.” I sigh. “Why don’t we watch a movie?” I suggest, to lighten up the mood. I can’t believe my kid dreamt that I died. 

“Sure!”

An hour later, we found ourselves next to each other, sleeping. God, I love this boy more than anything and I would do anything to protect him.

Note: Hey! I had to watch Tony’s death scene again just to get a better image of it- AND I CRIED. Oh well. 

[jessiohhh]

One of my best friends @ahufflepuffhobbit tagged me in this long list of things to help us get to know each other, and I’m just so glad to learn more things about her! So I’m going to tag @the-angry-pixie, @s-s-georgie, and @purebloodqueen (and anyone else who wants to join in!) with no pressure to these three to actually complete this! It’s long.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? I’m a pen snob. I prefer black G2 pens, but I’ll also write with blue or make notes with red on paper copies of reports and things (just so I can feel like a professional at some point in my life). I don’t mind the colors so much as I mind the pen. G2 only for my personal life (bic when I know the pens will be stolen).

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? I lived in Boston for 4 years, and I liked some parts of it. Now I live in a smaller city outside of Boston (around 100k people) and I love it here, but the art scene and the queer spaces are ample and I really like my job.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? Outside of becoming a better writer, I really want to learn how to cook better and do better food presentations so I can make a “food blog” and become famous for learning how to cook better and teaching people how to cook better.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Yes, I just do a regular regular (2 cream, 2 sugar) for coffee, but for tea I prefer honey.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? Under 5, I read The Cay with my dad and loved it. Under 8, I read Goodnight, Mr. Tom, a book about a child evacuee from London which got me started on my WWII history obsession. Under 10, I became obsessed with The Outsiders (which is still my favorite book to this day). Under 13, The Only Alien on the Planet. Under 15, Harry Potter (unfortunately, the author has ruined the series for me). Under 18, I fell in love with this book about a young teen dad, and I’ve never been able to find the book again.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? I’m totally a baths person, but no tubs are quite the right fit, so when I’m rich and famous I’m getting myself a soaker tub and I will live in that damn thing (I have dreams that my grandmother had a soaker tub--which she did--that she never used--which she didn’t--but I would sneak into her house to use her soaker tub--which unfortunately never happened. Can you tell how stressed I am by nature? I just need a soaker tub with a bath bomb and like 4 hours to myself).

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Hmm... I just want to be your average garden variety hedge witch. 

8. Paper or electronic books? Either/or. I suck at reading these days. I just don’t have the attention span. Give me a book and I’ll probably only read half regardless of electronic or paper. (#badwriter, #readmore)

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? I quite like capri leggings. They’re my typical go-to wardrobe choice. 

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I don’t feel like Jessica really fits me that much anymore, but I’m comfortable with Jess.

11. Who is a mentor to you? I would classify one of my college professors, but she just “unfriended” me on facebook because of differing viewpoints (neither are wrong, but her view of what I was saying wasn’t accurate). So I might be in the market for a new mentor.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? Sure, in some regards, I suppose. A part of me has always wanted to be “famous” but really I’d just take my 15 minute spotlight and be happy with that. I’d really like to be on one of those cooking competition shows (only a nice British TV one, not an American one), or I’d like to have fans on youtube and have a really cool youtube channel, or I’d like to be a writer with some really good books published... or even just a child development theorist. Whatever. Gimme my 15 minutes!

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Relatively, yes. I’m up to pee, to toss and turn, with nightmares. I’m someone who talks in their sleep and who thinks that their dreams are happening in the waking world--so I respond verbally to things dream characters say.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? I think I’m a romantic at heart, but I have few people to express that side with.

15. Which element best represents you? My sign is water, but I’m definitely more fire.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? I don’t really have anyone that I’m afraid of being close to, but I wouldn’t mind having a datemate. Find me someone to fit that role, please.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? I think a part of me will always miss my brother, and I’m close to my mother but prefer that we have a bit of space between us (we’re too similar). I think there’s this thing where you miss things you’ve never had, because I totally miss feeling part of a close knit friend group.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. I played alone as a kid a lot, and in my backyard we had a swing set that I would play on a lot. There were horses in the field beside the back yard, and a donkey in the field behind it and in the woods on the other side of the house were a bunch of feral cats. I remember swinging on the swings and hearing something make a god awful sound that I had never heard before (and it sounded really close to me) and I remember panicking and running straight for the house. My dad told his version of the story; he looked out and saw me, eyes wide as saucers, pale as a sheet, running in as fast as my little legs could carry me. 

Admittedly, this is also the house where I’m pretty sure I saw aliens peeking in my bedroom window, so was it supernatural or just an animal? I’ll never know.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? I’m down to eat almost anything; I ate a baby octopus once, and didn’t really like it. It was too spicy and too chewy.

20. What are you most thankful for? The job I have; I feel incredibly supportive by my supervisor and incredibly thankful to have such wonderful families I get to support every day.

21. Do you like spicy food? I used to... and then I became too white.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? I once spoke on the phone with Hal Sparks (a friend was at a comedy show of his and called me in the middle of the night so he could say hello to me). I’ve also brushed past a few other people while in New York City or in Florida, but nothing super memorable. 

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? I try to, but then I forget for a year and then I write a page that’s like “well this has happened in the last year.” and I do that every year I keep the physical journal. Sometimes I do write down tarot interpretations and things like that as they pertain to my life at the time.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? Mostly pens. Occasionally pencils, but mostly pens. 

25. What is your star sign? Cancer

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Ew. Crunchy. Who eats soggy cereal?

27. What would you want your legacy to be? I want to be able to continue supporting families even after I’ve gone... through a foundation or through a child developmental theory book... we’ll see.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I enjoy reading, but I’m pretty sure I have an undiagnosed case of ADHD, and I’ve been chasing the high of going into hyperfocus ever since I was a child--I haven’t stayed up all night reading since my teens and I miss that.

29. How do you show someone you love them? I’m very much a words of affirmation sort of person, and a quality time person. Gimme a day out with a friend or someone I care about and I’ll compliment who they are as a person about 800 times, and if you give me a task to do, I’ll love you forever.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? Yeah, I’m an ice cruncher.... I know it’s bad, but it’s so good.

31. What are you afraid of? I don’t have a lot of fears, but I think fear that my mom would pass unexpectedly is a big one. I don’t know how I’d get through life without her support and guidance. I also fear panic attacks (not the triggers themselves, but the panic attacks that I have every now and again).

32. What is your favourite scent? I have this incense called Opium that I love... I also love the smell right as it starts to rain, the ocean, sometimes sunny days have a really nice smell too... 

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? I don’t typically say people’s names, but if I have to address someone, I’ll usually say, “Ma’am or sir” until they tell me to call them by their first names.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I mean, honestly, I’d still be doing the same thing, but I’d be considering buying my own house and having a kid... two of the things I really want but can not afford right now.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? I prefer to be in the water at the ocean as compared to a pool (the chlorine kills me), but if I’m going to swim I prefer to do that in a pool... because I don’t trust myself to swim in the ocean--I don’t have enough experience to be a confident ocean swimmer even though I’m a fairly good swimmer in general.

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? Look around to see if anyone has lost it, but then pocket it. Maybe I’d hand it off to a homeless person or someone who looks in need, but that’s me being optimistic that I’d do that.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Yeah, I drove through the Pleiades meteor shower one year, and saw about 15 shooting stars in 10 minutes. I also stood on top of Mount Lee in Hollywood (where the hollywood sign sits) and saw a shooting star there. Once I was up in Maine and laying in the grass with some friends and saw a shooting star there too... you just have to be in a place that’s dark enough, and it’s likely you’ll see some flaming space trash crash into the earth.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? I would like to have children to teach them, but I’m worried that won’t happen because $$ and society suck. But I really try to teach the children that I love in my life how to be a good, kind, person, and how to treat others with respect. I try to teach consent early and often. I try to teach loving yourself as you are and how you are, and that who you are is deserving of love, no matter what happens in your life. I try to teach them that they are not perfect (no one is), but that you can amend your actions and make reparations to the people you have harmed with your actions, and that even though you have made a mistake as long as you are taking steps to correct your mistake you are a good person and always worthy of love. 

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I already have them, but I would like more. But again... $$.

40. What can you hear now? The roomba just turned on. It’s definitely time for bed.

41. Where do you feel the safest? In my room, in my home.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? Feeling unworthy of love.

43. Of you could travel back to any era, what would it be? I’m not really interested anymore in going back into previous times... the past was only idealistic to white people, and people of color have had a shitty time in every era so I’m good. Take me to a time when racism is done and then we’ll talk.

44. What is your most used emoji? the crying laughing cat face

45. Describe yourself using one word. Intense.

46. What do you regret the most? I don’t know that I have a lot of regrets. I regret when people misinterpret what I mean when I say something that wasn’t explained well. I regret individuals who have exited my life that have chosen to do so of their own volition. But they aren’t things that I had a lot of control over, so I don’t regret them very much.

47. Last movie you saw? Hamilton. I quite appreciated being able to see it finally.

48. Last tv show you watched? I watch a lot of paranormal tv... just because it’s something to put on... actually I fall asleep to a lot of paranormal tv. If I were to see a ghost, I probably wouldn’t react that much because I just sleep through the weird shit they do on tv, so... what up ghost?

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. I don’t tend to invent words... I do like putting words together in new ways though and telling different stories. Maybe I’ll do that sometime.

[nthrr]

A Second Chance

Summary: 'Who are you?' He wanted to know, know every single thing about her, things that one shouldn't want to know about a person who holds a gun on them. A second chance at love for the ones that were robbed of it.

It had been days since he had had a good nights sleep free from dreams. He didn't know why but since his childhood he had dreams that had followed the same theme. A world full of fantasy, honour and war. In his childhood those dreams seemed like an entry into the unknown, a world full of wonders and action that a little boy thoroughly enjoyed and embraced. But as he had grown older, had gotten better at understanding the world around himself , the dreams changed, their meanings changed. Cheerful laughter and abundance of love that shone through the dreams changed. The first time he experienced a life leaving its body through his own hands, he was fourteen. Waking up screaming he had thoroughly frightened his parents. Chalking it up to nightmares didn't seem to work in their household because once is a chance, twice is a coincidence but repeatedly for past how many ever years that he had started speaking from, explaining to his parents a world from history books that they attributed to his imagination, that had frightened them. A slew of doctors came and went, medicines consumed but the dreams didn't seem to stop. He stopped taking those medicines when he had accidentally overdosed due to him being delirious with not having slept in three days. It was a great fight with his parents but slowly he had them accept that those medicines were not improving him at all. Turning to yoga and meditation brought him a sense of calm but those dreams, those dreams where he was an royal, the feeling of a sword slicing the air around him, an all encompassing feeling of motherly love and devotion , the feeling of complete content and happiness as if he had found his soulmate, they never left and to tell the truth , he would rather have them along with sleepless nights with nightmares than do without them.

Inspite of all this he had an loving childhood, and a promising career. His family owns the prestigious Mahismathi Industries, a pioneer in the field of technology. Being the only heir apparent of MI , his life and future is set. But the thirst of knowledge and the fire to prove that he deserves the position made him an overachiever in his studies and in the work he started doing for MI. His parents seem to be happy that he is thriving despite his struggles in mental health and that has lead to what is now a big problem for him. Marriage. The thing he totally despises. Don't get him wrong he has no qualms about love, and he had gone on dates and had a few one night stands. But marriage is different. It's a partnership more than anything else. What was he to say to his future wife, that he has recurring dreams and nightmares and that he'll wake up screaming somedays, babble in a strange language on others, sometimes wake up kicking and punching so would you please learn some self defense or sorry we cant sleep in the same bed. Or should he say I'll try to love you but sorry I think I can't because I already love someone, oh it's just someone I dream of regularly, and no she's not real, yes I'm pretty sure, no I would not like an admittance to a mental hospital thanks. He would be really glad when this marriage talk comes to an end.

He prays for this recent bout of sleeplessness to end , he is getting sick of his own growchiness. Hearing his alarm blare out he groans and covers himself with his sheets willing the world to just disappear away. A few minutes later hearing the second alarm go off he huffs before throwing away his sheets and stumbles to the bathroom. He considers calling in sick for a few moments after he sees his reflection in the mirror, he really looks like a zombie, but then he curses himself for his very own good work ethics. Besides the vultures at the company would swoop in at just a peak of a mistake to point and complain. It was getting ridiculous, he was only in a mid management position now, both him and his parents agreeing that he should start low at the food chain, getting an experience at different levels in the company. But some people at the board still try to sabotage him at every turn. The thing was they knew his place at the top is cemented but they still try at every chance they get. He could even appreciate the ones that go about it in a clever way, because they could be useful for him in the long term but those stupid ones, he just doesn't know what to do about them.

Cursing the board members mentally, he got ready and hurried out of his house hoping he won't be late. Just as he was about to start the car his cellphone went off. Seeing that it was his mother calling and wondering she would at this time of the day he answered the call,

'Amma, good morning, why are you calling this early, any problem?' He inquired.

'Amar, good morning my son, did you sleep well'

'Ya ma, got some sleep , what's the matter , is everything ok?' It wasnt like his mother to call him in the early hours of the day. This call was making him a bit worried.

'Yes, good, everything is fine, don't worry and stop being a pessimist '

'Tell that to my mother who calls early in the morning to a son who she's going to see probably in an hour or so' he countered back.

'Stop sassing me, lord knows I get enough of that from your father and stop chuckling, like father like son', He tries vainly to cover his laughs. Like father, as if, he hasn't seen anyone in his life actually verbally spar with his mother and come out unscathed.

'Ok ok sorry, I'm stopping so why did you call' If he doesn't stop his mother now he would still be getting told off an hour from now.

'Oh that, I just wanted to ask you to collect a package from Ragupathy uncle on the way. Its the family heirloom from Andhra that got lost and was got back in an auction, uncle has it and he said he would deliver it personally, but it seems he has an urgent business meeting coming up and wont be able to come by so he asked me to send you by to pick it up'

'Cant you ask someone else ma, I'm getting pretty late, and if it really has to be me I can even pick it up in the evening' he tries.

'Amarnath, didn't I already say your uncle is going away on a business trip , and no I cant send anyone else because it's a family heirloom and it costs twenty two millions. And how many times do I have to say you are the boss of MI and you are allowed to be late sometimes. '

'Cool down cool down, dont get tensed, your blood pressure is already high, I'll go ok, and i really shouldn't be late even when I'm the boss' This was an age old argument in their home and today wasnt the day that it was going to be resolved.

'Really cant change you dear, but that is also why you are the heir to MI and your cousin Balla is not'

'Dont you get started on him now amma, and got to go now if I'm getting your package too along the way '

'Dont grumble too much will you, doesn't suit you'

'Ok amma got to go bye'

'Hmm , drive safely dear , bye'.

Ending the call with his mother , he started the car and turned it towards his uncle's home. Arriving in under twenty minutes, he rushed to the door and rang the bell. The door opened to reveal panja aunty a maid in his uncles home who welcomed him warmly. Asking for his uncle he was directed to the study in the upper floor. Knocking on the door and entering he found his uncle rushing around trying to fit as many things as he could in the bag of his.

'Amarnath, thank you my son for coming so quickly , I really didn't know who to trust with such an important piece of item. Thank God you're here'

'Its no problem uncle, mom said you have an antique piece for her?'he ended it as a question, trying not to let his frustrations show about how late it was getting.

Giving a confirmation his uncle went to the safe in the corner and brought an ornately carved box about the size of a shoe box.

'Take great care of this Amar, this thing does not only contain our family's money but also our history and legacy. Be careful will you?'

'I'll be careful uncle, it's already 7 isn't your flight at 7.30'

'Yes , yes I'll go , dont want to make you late' his uncle finished with a laugh. His entire family knew what a workaholic he was and took great pleasure in teasing him at any given chance.

Seeing his uncle off , he secured the package carefully in the trunk so that it wont jolst too much on the drive and started the car. It was a solid hour travel to his office from his uncle's home and he wanted to shave off whatever minutes he could so he took the smaller streets that wound through the city rather than the highway.

Later he would wish he had paid more attention to the road and to the car that was tailing him rather than speeding. But it had brought him to her and he wouldn't want it any other way.

It was halfway through, on a stretch of road that had sporadically placed houses and rather bare in terms of human activity that it happened. It wasn't that he wasn't paying attention to the road but when he noticed a man laying on the ground with his bike toppled over it was difficult to stop with the way he was speeding. He didn't think he had hit the stranger but it really was too close for his comfort. Berating himself and lamenting the consequences for his momentary lapse in judgement he hurried out of the car to check on the stranger.

It really had been a close call, he observed, if he had been even a second late in applying the breaks , the man would have died and he would have become a murderer. Walking over to the man on the ground he saw no evidence of bleeding , which was good. Crouching down , he laid his fingers to the man's neck to check for his pulse. Noticing that he had a good , strong pulse, he started to try to wake the man. With no amount of him trying getting any results, he decided to call the ambulance.

As concerned with the stranger as he was, he hadn't heard the scuffles coming from behind his car. But a strange loud thud from the near vicinity of his car startled him from his position. More wary now than he had been before , he tried to get up and check what the noise had been about. But before he could even stand fully, he was grabbed by the ankles and pushed to the ground. With his winds knocked out and reasonably confused he saw the man on the ground get up grinning. With a dawning sense of realisation coming upon him he turned his attention to the car to see four men with clothes tied over their faces trying to force open the trunk. He realised It had been a ploy to get him off the car.

It took him longer than he would be willing to admit, to get sense of the situation. Three by the car, forcefully trying to open the trunk, and an another who had tricked him, who now that he focused was swinging his leg back to deliver a kick. The kick landed hard on his abdomen knocking his breath out. Pain for many would cloud their senses but for him it sharpend them. When the next kick contacted with his abdomen he held on to the leg and pulled. Bringing down his assailant he crouched on the top of him and delivered a swift punch to his face. With the following two more the man was knocked out cold. Suddenly hands grappled on the back of his shirt pulling him away from the man. Allowing his weight to freefall on the assailant he got away from the hold and faced his three opponents. Breathing in and out and centering his mind he got into a battle stance.

In his childhood while other children opted for sports or games Amar was always fascinated by martial arts. After much cajoling to his parents he joined them, and never looked back. Fighting came easy to him, he raised through the ranks and joined even more different types of martial arts classes. It gave him peace and happiness that couldn't be found in his life plenty. So this situation of him facing three goons that seemed to be amateurs at best did not panic him as it would any other. They came at him from all sides, trying to overpower him , but he side steps and fights. The fight finishes in mere minutes. Panting heavily he carefully notes what he could about these thugs. From the way they way laid him and opened his car without any power tools he could tell they were well accomplished thieves, but their fighting left a lot to be desired. They weren't fighters , just thieves, good ones but just thieves .

A sudden feeling of a cold hardness pressed against his skull brought him up from his thoughts. With the realisation dawning on him he scolded himself for not checking up on the other thug he knocked out at the start. The gun pressed against him trembled making him more nervous that that idiot would shoot him without even meaning to. Seeing that he had not been shot at already he tried talking to the man who had his life in his hands. 'Listen buddy, there's no need for weapons here. Lower your gun and I'll let you guys go without even letting the police involved. But if you shoot and then got caught it would be life sentence for you. Your whole life would be behing the bars. Think that through. Put your gun away and I'll let you take your guys away. '

The gun pressing even harder against his head made him stop . The hand that was trembling till now steadied. The gun pressed firmly against the back of his head steadied. The click of the guns safety rang across the empty road sounding to him as if it was the conch sounding at his funeral. The safety had been on before , he could have tried to escape but there was no use lamenting about things that could have been. He knew in a few moments he would be no more. As many say, his whole life did not flash before his eyes , but his dreams did. Times he was happy and content in his dreams came to the forefront of his mind. He could totally ignore the gun behind him and he could go out with thoughts that made him smile. More than the fear of death , the wait for when the bullet will tear through him was what scared him. In the silence that made even death noisy , he heard the creak of the trigger being pressed. Then the shot rang through.

The pain he expected was not there, nor was the feeling of either heaven or hell. Slowly opening his eyes which he seemed to have closed , he turned around to see what the hell had happened. There on the ground laid the man who had held a gun to his head , with a bleeding shoulder. The gun laid on the ground and was now being picked up. Following the hand he saw the other held a gun too which seemed to be the source of the shot that he heard. Moving his eyes upwards he stopped short. Because there with guns in her hands, in a plain shirt and pants was the girl he was intimately familiar with. Eyes sharp as razors, beautiful red lips turned into a scowl, a face that shone even when it screamed murderous intent, she was there, every inch a perfect copy of the dreams that he had.

'Deva' his mind whispered, 'Deva'.

He wanted to pinch himself awake but he knew that this was real because even in his dreams he could never get the magnetism that shone off her eyes right, that was being directed at him. He didn't even mind the gun that was now pointed at him, again.

'Who are you , what the hell happend here ' she asked with a voice filled with authority. He found himself smiling hearing her voice. It was just as enchanting as he had always imagined it to be. 'What are you smiling for' she asked again with more force now. His smile had infuriated her.

'Who are you?' He wanted to know, know every single thing about her, things that one shouldn't want to know about a person who holds a gun on them.

'Devika Rajendran , deputy inspector of police , now give me your name or be ready to be dragged off to jail' she stated with a raised eyebrow and a relaxed stance. The confidence that she carried with her, it sent shivers down his spine making him want to needle her so much more, so that he could watch the way she got wound up and let go.

''Amarnath Chandran, software engineer at Mahismathi Industries ' he replied , holding back his true position at MI. He wanted her to look at him as if he was just any other normal guy, not the heir to a multibillion dollar company. It was experience that had him introducing himself as an IT guy rather than his true self. But looking at her he somehow doubted that she would bend down or simper at him. And it was that which made her even more attractive in his eyes.

'Well Mister Amarnath' he cut her off before she could finish the sentence,' its Amar, call me Amar'

If possible she looked even more less impressed by that statement. 'Mister Amarnath, I have to ask you , why was this guy pointing a gun at you' a hint of coldness seeped into her tone.

'I have no idea who these people are , they hijacked my car and tried to steal the antique that i had in my trunk, and trust me no way am i involved in any shady business Devika' and seeing the expression on her face become frostier he hastily added 'Maam, Devika Maam'.

'Cut off the name calling and show me your ID' she neared him and held out her hands.

He didn't know what was going through his mind. It probably was "she's here, she's real" and not "let's go to jail today". His response should have been "sure, let me get it from my car" and not what he said.

'I dont have it on my person at this moment but I could bring it to you by noon today. Your office is at the city headquarters isn't it'

If it had been him at her place , he probably would have done worse than slap the cuffs on his had and dump him in the back of the police jeep with the other thugs. He didn't care much for it, but at least the view was nice, or the back of her that he could see.

It took his mother half an hour to get the news and come to the station with a lawyer to get him out, the time which he spent most enjoyably watching her in her true environment. He seemed to infuriate her, smiling wider every time she managed to catch his look and glare at him. It was good that his mother came when she did or he didn't know what she would have done to him. But as soon as his mother came her entire ire transferred to his mother. Watching both the woman verbally battle he was glad that he wasnt caught in between but he would gladly accept that and more if only she could be in his life. They were two strong women who didn't want to give each other an inch of leeway. Finally Devika stomped towards the holding cell and opened the door with such a force that nobody could mistake her anger for anything else.

But before she could leave he grabbed her wrists making her turn towards him with such an anger in her face. It made him want to go to her and pull her in a tight hug and never let her leave. But he had an apology to deliver. Letting her go he lifted his hands up in an apology.

'I'm sorry I touched you without your permission, I just wanted your attention for a second. I'm sorry that I deceived you, it's my fault. The reason for it is simple. I didn't want to be away from your company just yet. You captivate me Devika, from your confidence to your inner strength that shows just as bright as your beauty, I wanted to spend more time with you. Your strength is beautiful, you are beautiful. Will you please accept my apology as a dinner tonight. Just an apology dinner, nothing else and if you never want to see me again you dont have to'.

Seeing the anger fade away from her face, and a confused look entering in, he smiled.

'Don't need to give me an answer now, tonight 7 PM at Jonas restaurant at the city centre, I'll be waiting, and if you dont show up I'll understand ' leaving the cell he started to walk out of the room and fortunately for him his mother seemed to have left already. Stopping midway he turned back to see her still standing in the same position. 'I don't know what you will decide tonight Devika, but either way have a good life officer'. He turned back and strode out of the room, whatever tonight may bring he was content in a way that he had never been. She may never come looking for him, but knowing that she was real, and that she lived a happy life somewhere was enough for him.

A smirk tugged at his lips, he definitely did notice the blush that stained her cheeks when she was with him.

Thank you @carminavulcana and @mayavanavihariniharini for welcoming me into this wonderful fandom.

Ao3 link

[gwaciechang]

Love Run (7/15?)

“Oh let the world come at you, love Like distant toms a-drumming Love, run! A song you know’s begun”

@wackiekebab @sunflowergrlpwr @danilanidingdong @scratching-wingless-thing @farewellfelidae @whatevermonkey @the-winter-witcher

Trigger warning for vomiting, flashbacks and discussion of someone’s violent death (nobody we like, in fact, I don’t even know his name), and everything in Bobby Hayes’ general life.

Also, I hope you like tropes, because I’ve got so much fucking trope.

“Okay, please don’t get mad and yell at me,” you plead as soon as you both get back in Chloe’s car. He’s in the backseat, his own idea to avoid the temptation of stealing his heroin.

“I won’t,” he says quickly. “And I’m sorry, again, for yelling about the cherries.”

“Right, I actually forgot about the cherries, so don’t even worry,” you laugh nervously. There was nothing else to do but rip the bandaid off as fast as you could. “Um, Chloe faked some paperwork with my insurance company that says we're married so my insurance will cover your treatment.”

“Ah, and she needs it certified with-”

“It’s already been filed and officiated. Apparently we were married on June 4th at the London city center.”

Bobby stares at you. “How the hell did she do that so fast? We only got to the clinic a few hours ago.”

“I think she bugged my phone, and that’s how she found out I overdosed all those years ago,” you chew on your lip. “She might have heard me talking about your addiction.”

“And she thought she’d marry her sister off to a total stranger?” wow, is that actual anger on Bobby’s face?

“You’re not a stranger,” you insist. “I’ve heard you fart and snore.”

He snorts.

“And now I've heard you snort like a pig,” you add, starting the car.

He leans back and gives you an exaggerated pout through the rearview mirror, making you both laugh. He stares out the window silently throughout most of the drive, but as you pull into the parking lot, he says, “I don’t mind being married.” You must make some horrible face, because he sees you and backtracks. “I mean, you know, seeing as I don’t have insurance.”

You do your best not to look like your heart’s about to crack open. “Right, and it’s not like she can’t help us file the paperwork to annul it just as fast,” you keep your face out of sight so he doesn’t see how bitter those words taste.

“Right,” his voice is so quiet that you’re not sure he’s spoken, and when you look back at him, his face is crestfallen.

Well, that just won’t do. “What’s your favorite food?”

“What?” his face is adorable when it’s confused. Then again, you think his face is adorable all the time.

“I taught you how to make my favorite food. Now you teach me how to make yours.”

He smiles so brightly that it's a little blinding, and even chuckles a little. “I’m pretty sure you know how to make toast and beans.”

“What sort of bread for the toast and how do you like your beans?” you challenge.

You only notice what Bobby’s done to your ex’s gaming room after what sounds like 10,000 hammers fall on the floor. You run in and see the most complicated computer display of all time, as well as what looks like an entire rocket piled in a corner of the floor.

“What the fuck?” you ask.

“Sorry, I'm sorry,” he says quickly. “I knocked the-”

“Are you hurt?”

His jaw clicks shut. "Uh, no."

“Okay, then I’m going to brush my teeth and go to bed.” Only now do you remember that Bobby sweated through the sheets last night, and you’d been too busy to was them all day. “Ah, shit, never mind,” you groan, walking to your room to strip the sheets and the blankets off.

Bobby takes the blankets off the top of your pile, and you walk to the laundry room down the hall. All the washers are full, but there’s one that's already completed its cycle, with the wet clothes just sitting there. Seeing several empty dryers, you clean the lint trap out of one before dumping the wet clothes into it and putting in a quarter to start the cycle.

“What?” you ask when you see Bobby looking at you pouring the detergent.

“Nothing,” he says with a soft smile. “I just think you’re sweet.”

You snort. “Have you seen yourself recently? Making my favorite food with me, washing my sheets while I was out. And how did you do that, by the way? You don’t have my apartment keycard.” The moment the question leaves your mouth, you know the answer. “Right, you’re a computer genius, aren’t you?”

“I’m talented in many areas,” was it just your imagination or did he just look you up and down?

“Thank goodness one of us is technically literate, then,” your smile becomes a shriek when your detergent overflows.

Bobby throws his head back and laughs so hard that he clutches his stomach and winces. Even though you know he’s injured, and you'd heard him laugh before, it's still nice to see him so light and carefree.

“What?” he asks when he notices you watching him.

“Nothing, I just think you’re a complete asshole,” you echo his earlier words before sticking your tongue out at him.

After the laundry’s done, Bobby helps you put the sheets back on your bed and retreats to the gaming room.

You follow him, curious. “What are you doing with all that, anyway?” you ask from the doorway.

“I want to start earning my keep,” he says. You open your mouth to say he doesn’t have to, but he continues as if he didn’t see you, “I had everything set up as an office in my apartment, but, well, I can’t use that anymore, so I’m setting it all up here.”

“That's cool,” you say between yawns. “Just try not to wake me up while you’re building your office, or I’ll eat the rest of the beans.”

“Temporary office,” he says, and wow, an ice shower would be warmer than what those words do to you.

You'd forgotten, somehow, that Bobby’s presence wasn’t permanent. Despite only having lived with you for a few days, it seems like he’s been here forever. Even without the way he had made the place organized and actually livable, there’s something different about the apartment with him in it, like it’s a place where you actually live instead of a kitchen and a bedroom that you eat and mope in.

“Temporary office, right, good night Bobby,” you say in as one word, hurrying to crawl under your blankets and have a good cry.

You end up lying in bed for two hours just staring at the wall and listening to him try to stealthily put together whatever it is he’s building. Just as you’re about to give up hope and say you shouldn’t have bothered telling him not to wake you up, you close your eyes and don’t open them until Bobby shakes you awake a few hours later.

Your throat is sore, and there's a scream echoing off the walls. Bobby’s tapping up a symphony on the headboard and almost hyperventilating, so it’s not him, which means it can only be you. So probably a nightmare, and since there’s the smell of cerebral fluid in the air and both of your brains are fully intact inside your heads, you can guess what it’s about.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Bobby repeats over and over and over. Tears shine in his eyes.

You want to reassure him, but you end up gagging on the smell that exists only in your imagination. You yank the sheets off and run to the bathroom. A broad hand gently lifts your hair as you throw up. A soft voice sings Queen to you, and your hand comes up. But instead of going to your face, you use it to seek out Bobby’s hand and hold it tight.

He lets you, and he doesn’t squeeze.

“I think that’s it,” you say hoarsely, letting go of Bobby to flush the toilet. “I’m going to brush my teeth again.”

“Alright,” Bobby’s hands hover around you like he’s not sure where to put them, or if he’s even allowed. “I’m going to clean up.”

“You don’t have to stop working on your project on my account. You didn’t bother me.”

He gives you a look you don’t know how to interpret. “I’m not good with people,” he begins, “but I’m very good at noticing patterns, and so far, the times your nightmares don’t make you sick have been the times when I’ve slept next to you. I’m not saying I’m the reason, and if you want to sleep alone, you can tell me,” he backs away and holds his hands up, “and I’ll never bring it up again.” His eyes are dark, and he’s retreating. “I’m just telling you what I’ve noticed.”

“Let’s do that,” you say quickly, and those tight, pained lines on his face smooth out. You spend longer than usual brushing your teeth, waiting for the butterflies in your stomach to settle and wishing you knew where your sexy sleepwear were in your mess of a room. By the time you get to your room, Bobby is already lying on top of the blankets. After you slip in, you yank them out from under him and cover him with them. He stiffens, but he’s not looking away, so you think it’s surprise, not discomfort. Your hands seek out his, and then he does look away.

“I should go,” he says.

“You don’t want to help me with my nightmares all of a sudden?” you try to keep your tone light.

It doesn’t work. He grips his elbows, and you can still see him squeezing in patterns of six. “It’s my fault you-”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” you try to moderate your tone when he flinches. God, why is your first response to everything to get angry? “Look, I’m sorry to interrupt, but we’ve been over this. It’s that hitman’s fault I have nightmares, not yours, because he’s the one who tried to kill me.”

“He wouldn’t have tried to killed you if you hadn’t there, and you weren’t supposed to be. I was supposed to be alone.” Bobby’s voice is calm, almost soothing, and for some reason it just makes you angrier.

“Yeah, and then would've killed you! You think I’d rather not have nightmares than have you not being dead? Wait, does that sentence make sense? Because it’s 6am and I am very tired.”

Bobby is getting agitated, too. “Why would you prefer nightmares over the death of a junkie you never met?”

You don’t know how to describe the depth of terror that strikes you at just the thought of him dying, how to describe how happy you are just making food and doing laundry with him, how to describe how easy it is to make accommodations for him even when you’re angry at him. But your instincts have served you well so far, so you just blurt the first thing you can think of.

“I love you.”

The words hang in the air like a physical thing. For a second, nobody moves a muscle.

The next thing you know, you’re both kissing, and you're very glad you brushed your teeth so thoroughly.

[havntednlost]

The main problem: my mother.

Her and my social life.

She's my fucking hell. Since I was born. She never allowed me to do anything along with my father (that was waaaaaay more possessive and jealous when I was a child while now with my little sister he's all like "do whatever you want it's fine").

She never respected my privacy. My spaces. My decisions. My opinions. I wasn't allowed to have an opinion. I wasn't allowed to speak when she decided something. I wasn't allowed to choose my friends. I wasn't allowed to speak to some people I defined friends because they weren't okay for her. She'd always decided who I had to talk to and how I had to behave. She always shushed me when I wanted to say something that she thought could've been against her decision. I grew up with her ideas, with her ways of talking and acting. She was manipulating me, creating a copy of her. She wanted to see her in me. (You failed. Ops?🤭) And I was always alone. I never had friends. The only friends I could make were people with disabilities. Because others couldn't stand me. Others hated me or made fun of me. Since I was 6 (elementary school) to being 10 I only talked to people who had difficulties at school or were handicapped. I felt like they didn't judge me. And I felt like they were okay with me being their friend.

What does not having friends has to do with my mother?

Well easy: my social life was in her hands. And that's why I never had anyone by my side. Because no one was okay for her. Only one or maybe two people. And I never complained about it. Because she made me grow up like that. I had to shut up and just do what she said. In my childhood I remember disobeying just a couple of times to my mother. Consequences? Being hit. She slapped me in the face so hard she made me cry. Once she slapped me in front of my classmates in that way. My teacher told her it wasn't necessary and mum just used a polite way to say "fuck you I am her mother and I decide how she has to grow up". My teacher had to shut up while he was caressing me and making me calm down. In that moment I forgot I was in class. I must remember being in my teacher's arms and feeling safe, far from my mum's hands. I was 8 if I'm not wrong.

So, elementary school ended. Middle school started. First year. Me, still with the mentality of a child. Naive. Too innocent and silly to understand the world I was going to face. Middle school was the worst period of my life. I've been bullied all the three years.

First year: Afraid. Always defensive. But willing to be a perfect student just as I was at the previous school. It was just me and other four girls (way smarter than me because they didn't live like they were perfect dolls to keep in a house-cage) and then 15 boys. One of them had a crush on me. I rejected him. I got no will to talk about that embarrassing story. After that also this boy + all the girls made fun of me and bullied me and called me names like: horse, camel, annoying, stupid and stuff like that. I was absolutely not used to being talked to like that, consequently it was one of the first traumas I've experienced in first person, without having my mother "by my side" "to dEfENd me". First year ends and I made no friends.

My parents decide to move to another city. Caserta. Close to Naples. I spent two years there. It was a fucking hell. People there were like... the plastics of mean girls. We were 10 girls and 13 boys. Way better, I thought. Ugh, I was wrong. Boys were terrible, worse than the ones at the other school and girls? Damn, they were all Regina George. It was when my depression symptoms started, along with anxiety. They talked at my back, saying bad stuff about me. How I found out? My mother was going through my chats (without me knowing, of course) and she called me to tell me. I read the group chat. They started saying "Is Maria in this group? No? Are you sure? Yes". So after establishing that I wasn't there they started saying things like: Oh luckily she isn't. She's so annoying. Why the fuck did she came to our school? Couldn't she stay at her old one? She's so ugly and stupid. No one can stand her. No one wants her. And she thinks we're her friends! 😂😂😂 She thinks she's better than us! (totally untrue) She's no one. etc...

Now imagine me crying while reading everything because I didn't expect it.

My mother: Didn't you expect all of this? It was obvious.

Well sorry if I was too stupid because I grew up thinking people were good and I would've faced a world full of roses and love.

I just told her I didn't. Your fault, darling.

Day after. My mother goes to school and talks to my teacher about it. My teacher defends me and helps me with that and the thing is solved. But my classmates just hate me more and more. And they just keep bullying me but more subtly so that no one notices. But I was a bit smarter because I had my cousin (I will dedicate another post to this special person ❤️) that was helping me to go through all the shit and giving me advice.

Middle school ends.

I am not homophobic anymore (like my parents taught me to be). I start having doubts about my sexuality but ignore them. My depression gets worse and worse.

My mother gets worse and worse. Starting to prefer my two brothers and little sister over me for everything. I was needed just to clean the house and to be yelled at for wearing always black, being unsocial, always staying on my own in the dark, always with my phone, always listening to music, always being sad or angry, never smiling, staying up after 10pm for watching TV series or reading, not studying much etc...

(Want a hint my dear mother? I was/am depressed.)

In this period I start having suicidal thoughts. Still because of my parents. My cousin supporting me and telling me is silly and that there are other options.

We move back to Naples.

I am now 14.

Highschool starts. First year is shit because I get bullied again but I start making friends. A group of 7 people (me included). My mother says they're okay. Fucking finally.

Alessia, Gabriella, Chiara, Simona, Sara, Andreea (romanian). Fucking amazing friends. Disgustingly amazing.

My grades are low. My parents keep hating on me and yelling at me for that. But my friends support me.

In the meanwhile I get to know a girl on the Internet. We become close friends and that develops in feelings. We start a relationship. Let's be clear. It wasn't. It was just based on the fact that we had the same problems and she gave me a lot of affection, and I thought it was love.

One day my mother takes my phone, again, without me knowing, and reads all of my chats.

She finds out about this girl. I was terrified and so I confess. My first coming out. She says nothing. She goes to my dad and tells him. My dad yells "Go away! Go away from my sight!" and I go to the kitchen terrified. Crying and sobbing. We sit. Me, my mother and my dad. They start talking to me. A sum up:

I don't remember how my mother started talking. I removed it because it was traumatic, all I remember is her saying shit about that poor girl.

I say "Mum, what's wrong with gays? They're just like us"

Mum slaps me. Hard as fuck. I was shook. Scared. Hurt. Confused.

After that they start talking about how wrong is being gay, that God doesn't accept it, that it's not natural, that it's just a phase, that only animals have gay sex and that's why we humans are different from animals that must follow their instincts. They keep repeating the same things in different ways for 3 hours. I am not kidding. 3 hours. From 3pm to 6:30pm only talking about this. (Want to know what I've done all this time? I just nodded. I kept on nodding because I was afraid to talk.)

Mum deletes and blocks every number and friends from Internet and takes my SIM card and puts it in her phone so she can check all my chats from her phone. She throws my phone away breaking it.

Nighttime: No sleep. Everytime I fell asleep I had nightmares so I woke up. Sobbing. Crying. I can't fucking breathe. A fucking hell.

Morning: I wake up totally empty and with a dead face. My parents are in the kitchen. They warmly say "good morning" and ask me to sit. I sit on the couch. They ask me "how are you". My answer: HOW AM I?? HOW AM I YOU FUCKER?????!!!!! YOU'RE REALLY ASKING ME HOW ARE YOU WITH THIS NONCHALANCE???? FUCKING KILL YOURSELF. My actual answer:.... i'm tired.

I don't remember anything else after that. Trauma I guess.

I am not a psychologist but I'm pretty sure I'm fucked up.

So after this happens I tell everything to my cousin. She doesn't believe that. She actually doesn't. She was too shocked to believe it. Haha, same sis. I don't either.

So, it takes a while for her to process everything and that's when our friendship starts for real. (We were good friends since I was 12. We grew up together, but there has never been an actual friendship because of how I was as a child. A pretty horrible child.) She starts helping me with my mother and all the stuff. We start getting closer and closer as time goes by and as my mother keeps being a bitch.

Second year of highschool.

My fucking favourite. It was such a good time. My grades weren't the best, my depression was fucking me up more than ever, my anxiety was kicking me out, but.. I had my friends. With a new entry. Simona. Yeah another one. Alessia changes school. So it's still 7 of us.

I swear if it wasn't for my friends that year and my cousin. I would've killed myself. Going back home from school everyday was basically going back to hell every fucking day.

dude: go to hell

me: awww where do you think i came from honey?

Then... that summer comes. Summer 2018.

I argue with my friends because of my parents, giving them the fault of everything. I keep them away from me. My mother gets even worse. She's against me like I am her enemy. She yells at me for everything. Every single thing.

me: *wakes up*

mother: WHY DID YOU WAKE UP GO BACK TO SLEEP AND SLEEP PROPERLY LIKE A LADY YOU'RE DISGUSTING.

She separates me from my cousin because she talked back at her (after she said bad things about my cousin's mother at her face) and here, another trauma. She calls me whore, liar, bitch because I didn't defend her like my cousin did with her mother (sorry but i hate you bitch). She says it's all my fault because I told my cousin everything about the bad things she did to me. That day goes away and my mother calms down and says it's not my fault but my cousin's because she's a bitch. I have no chance to talk to her for a month then we finally meet when my mother isn't at home. Since then we talk without no one of my family knowing. (It will be 3 years this summer, she never knew we do. How stupid can she be thinking I wouldn't talk to my favourite person ever because she said so).

September comes. Back to school. Third year. No friends. Low grades. No will to study. No will to live. But my cousin has my back. She keeps me alive, in fact I tried to kill myself multiple times. I failed. (Now I'm happy I didn't.) I pass that year. Not after another trauma. I seek for help at school. My teacher tells my mother about it and tells her that I am bisexual, atheist and I'm not okay in my family.

Thanks for ruining me, teacher. I expressively told her not to talk about it with my mother buuuut okay.

Quick sum up: I come back from school, my mother is crying. She starts saying things like "You don't want me as a mother? You don't like me? You hate me?" and I said no (not knowing that she knew what I said at school). Then the evening she walks to me and sits near me.

"Tell me the truth"

I was obviously confused. So she confesses what she knows. I was expecting the worst. It ended up with me talking to my uncles because my mother was "tOo hUrt" to talk to me.

"It's just a phase." "I hated my parents too." "You're too young to say these things." "You can't say you're bisexual if you never experienced anything."

It ended up with me faking a hug and "I'm sorry mum, I exaggerated." (obviously it was just to make everything stop).

bonus

me: *wants help to fight a difficult situation*

mum: *gets to know about it* YOU HURT ME YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH.

also mum: *reproaches it to my face everytime she's mad at me*

Fourth year starts. This is my year. This year. 2019/2020. It started perfectly. Good grades, my friends are back.

We move again. Tivoli (Rome). I am fucking happy with that. Expect for the fact that I can't meet my cousin anymore. But of course we can chat. Secretly on Telegram. Because my mother doesn't know what it is. Also, she stopped checking my phone, finally.

So, now. I'm 17, fourth year of highschool. Here I have no friends because they all suck. I miss my friends from Naples. And I wish I was free from my parents.

Some parts are not detailed. This because I will dedicate to them other posts otherwise this one would've been waaaaaay longer. And it's already too long.

No one will read these long posts but in case you're doing it, thank you ❤.