#''how did guy solve this mystery/problem? none of your damn business!''

[kinnoth]

Your smartest character can only be as smart as you are, and every other character must be dumber in comparison

Most people are of average intelligence, which means all characters dumber than your smartest character are now dumber than the average person

What I'm saying is I wish fewer people were trying to write characters of "genius level intellect" and instead concentrated on working on their ability to write interesting plots or coherent emotional development

[milenadaniels]

Before the Night Fades, 8.6k - POV Outsider on Buck/Eddie double date shenanigans (AO3)

“I have a bottle of champagne, four champagne flutes, one engagement ring to go into one of those champagne flutes, and a note to deliver it all to table 34 with dessert,” Tomas explains, wide-eyed, throwing his hand back to the prep station where said champagne is waiting on ice next to four flutes and a small ring box.

“Okay?”

“Okay so there’s two men and two women and I have no idea who’s getting proposed to. I’m not even 100% on who came with who."

---

Or, EddieAna and BuckTaylor double date and it ruins everyone's night.

The nearly-post-COVID return to normal rush is going exactly as well as management at the Tilted Cactus expected it would, which is to say it’s going as miserably as the waitstaff at the Tilted Cactus expected it would.

The owners lost a lot of money to lockdowns, diminished capacity and the general (extremely warranted) paranoia of co-mingling in public during an international plague for the sake of overpriced appetizers. And despite accurately predicting the business would boom once the doors re-opened, management didn’t feel the need to account for more staff to serve said business.

So despite owing $34k on her student loans (that’s after a generous gift from both her parents and her maternal grandmother), barely being able to afford rent in LA, and the utter lack of career prospects, Mere is taking a break in the backroom, next to the dirty mop bucket, mentally running through her finances before she officially gives her notice.

She can’t quit, she knows that.

Turns out leaving New Zealand for LA with nothing but a dream and the idea that if Taika could do it so could she was not the most future-proof plan she could have come up with. The starving artist thing was so 2010.

But Mere’s made up her mind. She’s not made for this abuse. This is bullshit. She’s going to pack up, go home, and you know, do...something else. She’ll figure it out.

Mere pulls herself up from her indelicate crouch on some empty crates and goes in search of a piece of paper — or a fucking napkin, who cares — on which to write up her official resignation.

“No, in section 3A,” she hears Tomas fake-whisper. He’s one of the few new hires to grace these hallowed halls and still thinks it’s disrespectful to talk shit about customers even in the backroom. Umida, a five year veteran of this distinguished profession, has been trying to disabuse him of this particular nonsense.

“Where the fuck is section 3A, Tommy? We have sections 1 to 9, we don’t have any letters.”

“The new sidewalk sections have letters, to distinguish them from inside.”

“You mean sections 10 and 11?”

“...Mr. Peters said they’re using letters.”

“Mr. Peters can swallow my entire ass. The sidewalk sections are literally right outside the door from 9, why would they not be called 10 and 11?”

“Or ‘Hell On Earth’ and ‘Kill Me Please’, as we call them colloquially,” Mere offers, startling Tomas as she pushes through the swinging door she’d been hiding behind. Patio dining is highly encouraged and an excellent way to dine if one has patios. The Tilted Cactus does not have patios. It has a temporary license to put tables on the dirty sidewalk outside their restaurant, where waitstaff get to weave around pedestrians, dogs, and carts like they’re completing an obstacle course.

“Yeah, those work,” Umida agrees, emphasizing her point with a dispirited index finger in Mere’s direction.

“Okay, whatever,” Tomas says with a pained eye roll. “Can you please just check it out and let me know?”

“What’s happening?” Mere asks. She’s leaving this popsicle stand (ideally, on fire as she walks away slowly into the night) but she’s also starved of both human attention and the inherent drama of the culinary world so she’ll be damned if she misses out on one final showdown.

Tomas takes a breath to steel himself. “I have a bottle of champagne, four champagne flutes, one engagement ring to go into one of those champagne flutes, and a note to deliver it all to table 34 with dessert,” Tomas explains, wide-eyed, throwing his hand back to the prep station where said champagne is waiting on ice next to four flutes and a small ring box.

“Okay?”

“Okay so there’s two men and two women and I have no idea who’s getting proposed to. I’m not even 100% on who came with who.”

“You don’t have gaydar where you come from?” Umida asks in perfect deadpan.

Tomas glares harder, crosses his arms and juts one hip out. “I come from San Francisco. We invented gaydar. I’m saying I’m pretty sure the guys are together, but I’m also pretty sure they’re each with the women they’re sitting next to. So figure that out.”

“Like a double thruple?” Mere asks, now actually becoming curious.

“Like a ‘I don’t know what y’all are smoking this far north but I don’t understand your weird relationship dynamics and I’m still on probation and I can’t lose this job because I can’t move back in with my brother because I will murder him and I can’t be an only child with aging parents in this economy so can you please just go out there and tell me what the fuck is happening so I can throw this ring at the right person and punch out sometime before I ‘accidentally’ fall on the meat clever downstairs?’ kind of situation.”

Umida and Mere share a glance.

“Okay, well, don’t despair, new guy,” Mere says with a pat on his arm. “Save the meat cleaving for the capitalist elite. We got you. Let the pros handle this.”

“What did the note say?” Umida asks. “One ‘e’ or two? We can at least eliminate half of our options.”

Tomas does not check the note to spot whether the note-taker had written ‘fiancé’ or ‘fiancée’. He stares them down and fips the note in his fingers so the text faces them.

“It says ‘finance’.”

“Ah.”

“We’re going to need a more hands-on investigation, then,” Mere announces.

—————————-

Mere goes first, only because Umida was on her way to swap a side dressing for her table when Tomas intercepted her.

Mere carries a jug of water and makes the rounds of the outdoor tables, trying to hold in her visible distaste for the pseudo-patio vibe the owners tried to make happen out here. There’s a bike stand and a taxi stand two feet from where people are trying to have a romantic dinner. Every now and again, the LA traffic gets rowdy and noisy, completely butchering the atmosphere. There’s a shitty speaker funneling in some Frank Sinatra but it really does nothing to help.

But after this mystery is solved, none of this will be her problem anymore.

Like Tomas said, there are two men and two women sitting like cardinal points around a round table. The women are on the north and east ends, the men on the south and west ones. Two of them are brunets, one a redhead, and one a blond. They’re all disgustingly gorgeous.

And that’s all she’s got.

“The ravioli sounds so good,” the brunette woman says, casting a look at the brunet man to her side.

“Yeah, it does,” he says.

“Mm,” the blond man disagrees. “It’s got feta.”

“What’s wrong with feta?” Asks the redheaded woman.

“Absolutely nothing is wrong with feta,” he responds with a superior smile directed at the man next to him who’s preemptively adopting the look of someone ready to hear some bullshit. “Unless you have an underdeveloped palate and are simply overwhelmed by such strong delicacies as a moderately salty cheese.”

“Okay, don’t talk to me about an underdeveloped palate, Pennsylvania,” the other man responds, posturing despite the softness of his eyes.

“Hey, I said nothing to besmirch the great state of Texas. Texas is a wonder of culinary delight. I’m saying you’re...a simple man.”

“Feta’s disgusting and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on,” the brunet says with smug finality, holding the other man’s eyes until they’re both smirking and looking back at their menus.

Well then.

Mere’s a little bummed as she fills the water at table 36. She’d been hoping the mystery would run longer than 2 whole minutes, but these guys are definitely together. So the mystery will only come down to who’s getting eng—

“Thankfully Chris inherited a more refined palate,” the blond man — Pennsylvania — chirps as the last word.

“He did,” the brunette woman chimes in with a playful smile. “He loves my cooking. You both loved that greek salad I made last week, didn’t you? That had feta in it.”

“It did!” the brunet man replies, slipping his hand overtop hers. “And I loved it. So clearly context is a factor.”

Mere almost spills the rest of the water all over the lady at table 38 as she takes in the man and woman mooning at each other. Though if it’s any consolation, the redheaded woman looks as unimpressed as Mere feels.

“Yeah, I have no idea,” Mere reports back to Tomas.

“The redheads are playing footsie under the table now. That’s one couple at least right?” Tomas asks. The two of them are parked behind the bar where they can see through the window outside but the exterior tint prevents anyone outside from seeing them. The bar is still used for pouring drinks but the stools are gone — can’t maintain 6 feet between them — so the staff pretty much have the run of this corner of the restaurant.

“He’s not a redhead,” Mere mutters, looking out the window to catch the action. “It’s like a dark blond. And I don’t know, I’m pretty sure the two brunets are together, but then blond guy’s foot is way into the other guy’s space.” For a moment she’s distracted by just how damn long his legs are. “That’s certainly...familiar.”

“They’re lesbians,” Umida declares when she returns from dropping off plates at table 32.

“They’re lesbians?” Tomas parrots skeptically. “I did not get that vibe.”

“I could see lesbian for the redhead, I think,” Mere says. “Don’t know about the brunette.”

“Lesbians come in all flavours,” Umida informs them haughtily. It’s the start of Pride month and her hijab is held together by an “Ally” pin. “You can’t tell someone’s orientation just by looking at them.”

“But you’ve declared them lesbians,” Mere points out.

“Because lesbians are approaching their table and only lesbians know other lesbians.”

“That’s definitely not true,” Tomas reproaches.

“No, she’s right, lesbians coming up!” Mere watches as two more unfairly gorgeous women approach with two young boys in tow. Honestly, screw LA and their beauty standards. The parties look surprised to see each other, but they clearly know each other well. One of the boys stays with the women, but the other one breaks off to join the table.

“No, I mean you can know lesbians without being a lesbian.”

Umida and Mere ignore him.

“Okay, that’s one of their kids, right?” Umida asks. “Lesbians babysitting for date night?”

“He’s got Pennsylvania’s curls,” Mere agrees. "That's the blond guy, by the way, I think he’s from there. Brunet guy is Texas for the time being."

The boy reaches the table and is pulled into a strong hug by Texas, who then directs him to a hug with the brunette.

“Oh, unexpected.” Mere would have sworn he was a dead ringer for Pennsylvania. “But okay, that confirms the hand-holding I saw. We have a set of parents. And unless this is a super modern table, I don’t see the parents being here on dates with other people.”

“Mm, I don’t know.” Umida dithers. “That’s like an auntie hug, not a parent hug. Like if she is the mom, the kid is not happy with her.”

“Wait,” Tomas says.

The boy is wiggling out of Brunette’s grasp and rounding the table to Pennsylvania who’s waiting with a wide smile and open arms, and instead of letting go after, the boy finagles his way onto Pennsylvania’s lap to steal a breadstick. Pennsylvania reaches into the basket for another breadstick to pass to the little boy still waiting with his moms and Mere’s heart tugs a little.

Texas watches on from across the table with unrestrained fondness. His leg shifts to press against Pennsylvania’s who looks up with a smile.

“Boom, gay dads!” Tomas crows.

“And lesbians,” Umida adds.

“Redhead definitely has no part of this,” Mere notes. The woman is smiling but it’s polite and practised, not warm or welcoming. “I guess the brunets could be siblings maybe? Really close siblings?”

Finally, the babysitters make to leave so Pennsylvania kisses the boy’s temple and guides him back to his feet. Texas presses his own kiss to the boy’s curls as he passes, saying something they can’t make out from behind the glass. Brunette gets only a wave as he leaves.

“Gays and lesbians,” Umida concludes smugly.

“Okay, good,” Tomas sighs with relief. “So we know who the couples are, now who’s gettin—”

“Um,” Mere interrupts, pointing at the table.

Redhead’s foot is making its way up Pennsylvania’s leg and he shoots her a grin.

“For fuck’s sake,” Tomas spits as he walks away.

“Did you even take their order yet?” Mere calls after him. He doesn’t answer.

———-

Mere gets pulled away because now that she’s not quitting in outrage until this table 34 drama is over, she figures she should actually get back to work. Happily, having not seen her for the last 20 minutes, Mikael figured she had left or died and had taken over her section. She agrees to split half the tips with him and lets herself be pulled back into the tide of madness.

“Got it figured yet, Tim-Tam?” she asks when she passes him near the bathrooms.

“The guys are sharing their orders,” he says despondently.

“That’s not that incriminating. I split my orders with people. I’m not about to pay full price to discover if I like something.”

“No,” Tomas glares before gesturing to the window with disgust. “They’re sharing their orders.”

Tomas stalks away to hopefully take an herbal break to calm down and Mere goes back to the window just in time to catch the insanity. Mere feels Umida come up behind her and tries to suppress her shiver when her “what in all that is holy” skates across her bare shoulder.

Pennsylvania has just finished piling some of his spaghetti on Texas’ plate, which is exceedingly normal. But now Pennsylvania is reaching for Texas' burger.

“He didn’t cut that,” Umida notes.

“No, he did not.”

They have pretty messy burgers at Tilted Cactus, ones that are hard to share because if you cut them down the middle they tend to lose structural integrity. Of course, this isn’t a big concern if you’re sharing already-bitten-into burgers. Which these absolute freaks are doing.

“Gays and lesbians,” Umida declares again, the earlier smugness replaced with an air of disgust.

But when Umida walks away, Mere watches Brunette wipe something off Texas’ cheek and frowns. One throuple and redheaded side piece? Maybe?

————

“I’m struggling with lesbians as a theory,” Mere tells Umida the next chance she gets at the pickup counter. “I want to believe, but…”

“Yeah, I’m doubting now too. They’re almost exclusively talking to each other. But then I realized it was more getting-to-know-you conversation and this would be a hell of a weird first date.”

“Huh, so heteros all around?”

“Well, I also caught on that they’re spending all this time talking to each other because the guys are like in their own world. Finishing each others’ —”

“Sandwiches?”

“Exactly,” Umida grins, unexpectedly delighted by the reference. “So I don’t know. I really don’t envy Tommy.”

“Me either.”

“Hey Manish,” Umida yells out to the other side of the pickup window, “I’m picking up for Lenore but she’s got a two-seater, why do I have four dishes here?”

“Because Lenore can’t write for shit,” Mere says, picking up the order slip and squinting at the scrawl. “These are for table 24, not 29. It’s a four-seater.”

“Alright, well I guess you’re helping me, then,” Umida says with a wink.

Umida is fully capable of carrying four dishes on her own but she’s asking Mere to come with her so Mere’s already reaching for the plates, hoping the blush on her cheek can be written off as heat from the kitchen.

————-

During a slow stretch, Mere takes it upon herself to refill water and wine glasses in section 10.

From table 32 she can hear them talking about elementary school workloads.

“Oh, ah, I meant to let you know,” Pennsylvania says to Redhead, sitting up in his seat. “I can’t make it to the movies next Friday, can we move it to the next week? I should know my schedule by Wednesday.”

“Sure,” Redhead says with a hint of bite to her pleasant smile. “But I thought you had Friday off.”

“I do,” Pennsylvania says, his lips curving into a small, excited smile, “but Christopher won his class’ public speaking competition and they’re doing a kind of show of all the winners for the parents, and it’s on Friday.”

Mere moves around table 34 and heads for table 36 next, but catches the looks of discomfort on every face aside from Pennsylvania’s. He doesn’t realize he’s said something wrong, but the rest of them have.

“Isn’t that just during school hours?” Brunette woman asks.

Texas hesitates before saying, “yeah, but we’re taking him to Universal after to celebrate.”

Out of pity, Mere doubles back to table 34 and reaches for his water glass to fill. People tend to keep their drama buckled while the waitstaff is there. And sure enough, Redhead glances up and paints a tense smile on her face.

“Yeah, not a problem. That sounds exciting.”

There’s a bite to her words, and by the way his shoulders tense and his fingers curl more tightly around his fork, Texas seems to have picked up on it.

————-

By the end of the entrees, most of the staff have caught onto Tomas’ predicament and one by one everyone from the table-bussers to the cooks have gone out for a smokeless smoke break to try to be the one to divine what the hell is happening at table 34.

None are successful.

“This isn’t even like a romantic date,” Mani laments. “Like none of them are that dressed up and they’re talking about like natural disasters and shit. I don’t get a proposal vibe from like any of them.”

“Who even goes on a double date to propose? Who does that? It’s so tacky!” Gabby says from behind the bar where she’s helping herself to a quick nip before she heads home.

“Who still thinks the ring in the champagne bit is a good idea, is my question. It’s a choking hazard!” Mere says. “How romantic to start off your engagement with a trip to the ER.”

Tomas ignores them all. He looks about 10 minutes away from saying to hell with his probationary status and drinking the next hour away straight out of the vodka bottle at his elbow. “I know it’s Pride and I should be representing but I could really do with a little heteronormativity right now.”

—————-

Tomas is stalling.

Table 34 asked for dessert, of course, and when he vaguely floated the idea of champagne, Texas had readily agreed, so this is happening. The champagne flutes are lined up on a tray, the champagne in them is warming with every minute that passes, and he is no closer to figuring out what to do.

“What if I put all the glasses in the middle and they have to pick which one they want?”

“Okay but the person getting proposed to tonight likely doesn’t know?” Mikael says.

“What if you pretend you didn’t see the instructions?” Shania pitches. “As if we can ever write stuff down correctly anyway. Just say it said to bring out the champagne but nothing about the ring being in a flute! Just hand it back to the proposer and let them get it done.”

“You think we don’t know who the proposee is but we know who the proposer is?” Tomas bites. “If I knew that, Shania, I could have just called them away with a phone call or something and asked them who to give the flute to.”

“Geez,” Shania exclaims, hopping off the bar counter to walk away. “You try to help…”

“And then there were three,” Mario announces as he comes back from another completely unnecessary round of filling water glasses outside.

Tomas’ head snaps up from where he’d been staring into the countertops. “What?”

They all rush to the window and sure enough: Redhead is gone.

“I didn’t see her come in,” Mere says, almost breathlessly. If she’d come in to use the restroom, they would have seen her.

“No, she’s gone-gone,” Mario supplies. “Said she had to get back to work but I’m pretty sure she just wanted out. That’s the chick from the news, you know?”

“People still watch the news?” Mere wondered aloud.

Tomas tsks. “Redhead was the least probable suspect!”

“Well we can rule out Brunette and Pennsylvania as a couple, right?” Umida asks, waiting briefly for the gathered crowd to nod. “Okay, so we’re down to the brunets together, or Pennsylvania and Texas.”

“Or polyamorous,” Mikael sniffs. Mikael is trying polyamory. He doesn’t know there’s a bet going on how long he’ll last. It’s a fine relationship style to get into but one he and his jealousy and insecurity issues are deeply unsuited for.

“Apologies, Mikael, or polyamorous. So you have...yeah, 3 of 3 options left for that ring,” Umida grimaces.

“Wait!” So-Hee cries. She’s supposed to be hosting at the entrance but COVID-19 protocols mean people don’t show up earlier than 5 minutes before their reservation so the podium isn’t very backed up. “What does the ring look like? That could be a clue, right?”

They look to Tomas, whose face is blank.

“You didn’t look?” Mere accuses him, though to be fair it never occurred to her either.

So-Hee pounces on the deep purple velvet box without waiting for Tomas to answer.

“Please god,” Tomas mumbles, grabbing the box out of her hands and prying it open with almost reckless enthusiasm.

All six members of staff currently on duty at the window crowd around, many heads bumping together to catch a glimpse. The ring nestled in the box has a slim, dainty band with a solitaire diamond jutting out proudly, with filigree details on either side.

“Oh thank sweet baby Jesus, that is a woman’s ring!” Tomas nearly yells.

“It could be a man’s ring,” Umida protests weakly, almost sad to see the drama come to an end.

Mere’s a little put out too if she’s being honest. But even if they couldn’t tell from the design, the sizing is way too small to fit on either of table 34’s men’s fingers, as So-Hee demonstrates by plucking the ring up and sliding it onto her own tiny finger.

“Yeah, get it stuck on your sweaty fingers, So-Hee,” Tomas protests almost hysterically, feeling his win come into danger. He wrestles it back off her finger and shoves it back in the box before taking a deep cleansing breath.

“Okay, I’ve got a dessert course to deliver,” he says, the picture of calm professionalism as if he hasn’t spent the last hour losing his entire shit.

———-

They should disperse then, but like brothers in arms after battle, all of them feel the need to stand guard as Tomas prepares to deliver the goods.

Some of them, like So-Hee, stand because they’ve foolishly become emotionally invested in the upcoming nuptial bliss.

Some of them, like Umida, stand because they fell in love with their version of events and they feel the need to properly mourn for what might have been.

“They’re co-parenting that boy,” Umida grumbles. “We all saw that! They can’t deny that!”

And some of them, like Mere, stand because they really can’t be bothered to get back to work.

But stand together they do as Tomas plops the ring in one flute and carries the tray out.

“Excuse me,” comes a voice off to the side of their group.

So-Hee, ever the consummate people-pleaser, actually turns to take care of the customer. The rest of them stay fixed at the window. “Yes, sir, can I help you?”

“Maybe? I couldn’t help but notice that young man taking some champagne out.”

“Yes, would you like to order a bottle as well?” So-Hee pokes Mikael. “We’d be happy to bring some out to you.”

“Ah, no,” the man says. “Well, yes. But I’ve already ordered some. I called earlier, when I reserved my table.”

Mere stiffens, her sixth sense borne of years of customer service piquing. Beside her, Umida takes note as well.

“I asked that champagne be brought to the table with dessert, and I left a box...one that looks a lot like the one on your counter there. And I’m sure it’s just a coincidence but I couldn’t help but want to make sure it’s not my ring that just went out to that other table.”

Mere’s wide eyes spring to Umida’s.

“Oh my fuck,” Umida whispers.

Then they’re both racing for the door.

“Wrong table, wrong table, wrong table,” Mere mutters under her breath as she dodges a stroller and a dog walker trying to reach Tomas —

“Oh, Edmundo!” Brunette exclaims brightly.

Umida’s hand braces Mere like a soccer mom in a car.

It’s too late now.

There’s nothing they can do but watch this trainwreck happen.

Happily, Redhead vacated the seat nearest to them so they have an unobstructed view of Brunette’s eyes filling with tears, of Texas’ wide eyes, and of Pennsylvania’s face losing all colour.

From context, Texas is the Edmundo Brunette is so pleased with.

But Edmundo is shaking his head, his brow furrowed. “I...wha— ”

Pennsylvania comes back to himself first, though the smile he paints on his face is strained and frail. “Ah, con — congratulations.”

“Wha— Buck, no.”

Pennsylvania — Buck — stands up from the table like a colt learning to walk, his eyes darting across the table without landing anywhere. “I — ah — I should let you guys celebrate.”

“Buck, no, I—” Edmundo’s voice is firmer now, his hand darting out to reach for Buck, and Brunette starts to catch on that nobody’s getting down on one knee with a flowery speech.

“Edmundo?” she calls, her bright smile dimming.

Edmundo looks torn and trapped in equal measure, and Mere wonders for a heartbreaking moment if maybe he’s as confused about his relationships as the Tilted Cactus employees have been tonight.

With a sigh, and a reminder that she’s out of this place like Cinderella at midnight, Mere falls on the proverbial meat cleaver. Stepping around Umida’s still outstretched arm, Mere weaves herself in front of Tomas just in case there’s any physical fallout, and pitches her voice low so the neighbouring tables will have to strain to listen in.

“Excuse me, my name is Mere, I’m the assistant manager. I am so sorry to inform you there’s been a terrible mistake. We’ve delivered a ring to your table that was destined to another this evening. We apologize deeply for any confusion this has caused and we will of course be comping your meals.”

“It—Oh.” Brunette’s eyes land on the ring on her finger, and her remaining excitement implodes into embarrassment so quickly and resoundly that Mere’s surprised it doesn’t produce an audible sound. The fingers of her opposite hand grip the ring and pause for a moment before slipping it off. There’s no box to slip it into so Mere holds out her hand, the other tucked neatly behind her back.

“Thank you,” Mere says quietly. “Please forgive us for the mistake. We will be investigating what happened so it never happens again.”

“Of course,” Brunette says lightly, forcing some life back into her voice. “I’m sure you didn’t mean any harm by it.”

Her eyes lift then and take in the scene across from her. Edmundo and Buck still standing, Edmundo’s hand wrapped round Buck’s wrist to keep him from leaving, and her eyes shutter once more.

“If you’ll excuse me, I need to freshen up,” she says politely, rising from her seat and escaping into the restaurant.

Edmundo watches her go but says nothing, frozen still, holding onto the man beside him.

With all eyes more or less off them now, Mere gathers Tomas and Umida and hauls ass back into the restaurant.

————-

The ring is cleaned and inspected by Gareth, its actual owner, who is amiable enough to not escalate the situation further. His fiancée-to-be is none the wiser on any of these happenings — luckily their table, 29, is indoors — so his proposal is still on for the next course. But, just in case it doesn’t go the way Gareth hopes and he turns on them, Mere preemptively comps their meal too and congratulates him before he’s reseated.

On her way back to the kitchen, she grabs Lenore and uses the last hour of her completely fake authority to formally bar her from ever answering the phone again, or taking notes from the phone, or writing anything anywhere ever again. Lenore, having heard about the drama at table 34 and having seen the crying woman rush to the bathroom just now, accepts with little resistance.

And Mere, heart heavy with the weight of what they’ve done to this poor woman, mentally shakes her fist at her own curiosity and need for schadenfreude. If she’d bailed on this place an hour ago, she wouldn’t be leaving with this heartache by proxy.

As if beckoned by her thoughts, Brunette emerges from the bathroom just as Mere is crossing in front of it. She looks better, her tears packed away, and her cheeks only slightly reddened. Mere is about to offer her something — a glass of water? wine? a whole bottle? — when Edmundo steps into view. Mere doesn’t break stride until she’s behind the protection of the pay terminal privacy partition where she can see them but not be seen.

“Hey,” he says softly, his frame pretty loose and relaxed for a man who looked so troubled moments ago.

“Hey,” she returns with a forced smile.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know—”

Brunette cuts him off with a hand. “It’s not your fault. They made a mistake. It happens.”

Edmundo nods.

“But…” Brunette continues, fidgeting with the strap of her purse. “For a moment, it didn’t seem far-fetched that it...might be real, you know? I know we’ve been taking things slow, but we have been seeing each other for nearly a year now. And I thought… I don’t know what I thought, but it...it didn’t seem so far-fetched.”

Edmundo’s shoulders have grown tense, and it doesn’t escape Brunette’s notice. She smiles sadly.

“But then I looked up and you weren’t even looking at me. You were looking at Buck. You were so scared he would leave and that — that just doesn’t make sense, does it? I mean, even if the...the ring was a big misunderstanding, wouldn’t it have been better that he leave so we could talk about it privately? But you were scared, because he was upset… And if he was...I don’t know...upset that you hadn’t told him about this, you could have caught up later and discussed it, cleared it up.”

Edmundo says nothing, but he hangs his head and gnaws on his lower lip.

“But you were scared. Scared of him leaving in that moment. Scared...that he’d leave with the wrong idea? That he’d leave thinking you were — we were... ” Brunette sighs sharply. “I think I’ve been a fool.”

“You haven’t—” Edmundo tries to say.

“No, I have. It’s felt so many times like there’s been a third wheel in this relationship, and I genuinely didn’t realize until now that it was me. And maybe I’m naive but I’d like to think you didn’t realize it until today either. That you’re just as big a fool as I am. And maybe Buck is too.”

Edmundo opens his mouth twice to say something but nothing comes out. In the end, he settles on, “Ana, I’m sorry. I...didn’t realize. I don’t even know if I understand what I realize. But I...I know you’re one of the best people I’ve ever met and you didn’t deserve this.”

Brunette — Ana — smiles again sadly, and if a touch bitterly, she’s entitled to it.

“Thank you,” she says softly, before fidgeting with her purse strap again. “I’m going to go. You’ll...say goodbye to Buck for me?” Edmundo nods.

“Goodbye, Edmundo.”

“Take care, Ana,” he responds.

Ana takes a few steps before stopping and turning. “Good luck. I think…” she shakes her head before repeating, “good luck,” and leaving out the side doors.

Mere unglues herself from the privacy wall and slinks sadly back to the bar where she finds Tomas and Umida already halfway through a glass of red each. There’s a third, untouched glass waiting for her.

“We’re horrible people,” Mere decides. “Brunette and Texas just broke up.”

“We didn’t do this,” Umida protests half-heartedly. “Technically, Tomas did.”

“Ugh, you ass,” Tomas sputters. “The note said table 34, you all saw it. It’s Lenore’s fault.”

“It is Lenore’s fault,” Mere agrees before downing half her glass like a shot. Out the window, she can see Pennsyl — Buck — slumped in his chair, staring at the tablecloth. There’s a fresh bottle of wine on the table, two empty glasses at his and Edmundo’s places. Mere raises a glass at Tomas for the gesture.

“If they don’t end up drinking it, I’m taking it home,” Tomas says, “I already wrote it off.”

That’s fair.

Unfortunately for him, when Edmundo gets back to the table, he immediately pours them both a very full glass.

Buck straightens out in his chair, looking concerned and looking around for Ana, who doesn’t materialize. Edmundo says something that has Buck relaxing but looking guilty. Then Edmundo shuffles closer and puts a hand back on Buck’s wrist.

“Okay, back to work,” Mere orders. “We’ve intruded on this drama way too much already.”

When she finds her way back to the bar some twenty minutes later for a totally appropriate reason, table 34 is empty.

————————

A year later, Mere finds herself sitting on the Tilted Cactus bar counter on a Friday night, legs swinging and popping olives like they’re mints. She ended up not quitting her job the night she intended to. Between the excitement, the drama, and the on-duty alcohol, she was feeling pretty chill about sticking it out at the Tilted Cactus a while longer.

But she ended up quitting two days later when the owner found out about how she impersonated an assistant manager and gave her hell for it. She could have stayed, he wasn’t really going to reprimand her. But listening to him talk down at her while her stomach filled with dread at the idea of having to apologize and walk back into that hell hole…nah. Fuck the Tilted Cactus, fuck the owner, and fuck two weeks’ notice. They weren’t getting a minute out of her ever again.

She took the gamble of taking out more student loans and was wrapping up her EMT certification. She’d be in an ambulance soon enough, actually helping people. Not the dream that got her to America, but one that would suffice for now. Make up enough karma to get her feet back under her.

“The lesbians are back,” Umida announces excitedly in a whisper as she fits herself between Mere’s legs against the bar.

“Which lesbians?”

“THEE lesbians,” Umida returns, pointing out the window.

“Those are two guys, babe. Three if you count the kid.”

“They’re lesbians,” Umida insists, waving her hand to dismiss the kid from her labels. “They have strong lesbian energy.”

“You’re claiming them for your people?” Mere grins fondly. It’s the start of Pride again and Umida’s Ally pin has been traded in for a lesbian-flag coloured hijab secured with the updated BIPOC Pride flag pin. She’s very pretty in pink, right down to the lipstick Mere isn’t allowed to kiss off of her until her shift is up.

“I am, they’re mine. I claim them.”

“Wait,” Mere squints, trying to pin down the familiar feeling she’s getting, “are those…”

“The guys! Eddie and Buck. I told you they were semi-regulars now. And we were right, that’s totally their kid. I don’t know how, especially since we know they weren’t together before that night, but he’s their kid. My money’s on one of them being trans because he’s literally their spitting image combined.”

Mere sighs happily and hugs Umida to her. “Well, I’m glad some good came out of that night.”

“Umida?” a young voice asks from across the bar. In the year since the reopening, a slew of new hires have joined the ranks to replace all the veterans leaving and Mere barely recognizes anyone anymore. She saw Mikael (unsurprisingly single again) a couple of weeks ago but he’s clearly on his way out too. Tomas lasted until his probation was over before quitting. Umida, in no small part because she was the longest lasting employee, was rightfully promoted to the role of assistant manager. Mere still hopes she’ll leave this hell hole soon but in the meantime, at least she’s getting paid. And authority looks really good on her.

“What up, Jerome?”

Jerome pushes his dark blue fringe back and holds up a sheet of paper. “I have a note here to deliver a ring to a table with dessert but it doesn’t say who’s supposed to get it.”

“Oh my god, no, no way,” Mere laughs and tries to push Umida away. “Let me out of here.”

Umida’s arms close around her hips, preventing her escape.

“Calm down. I created a form so that night doesn’t happen again. Jerome, did you use the form?”

“Um, yeah.” He shakes the sheet of paper in his hands. “I mean whoever took the call did. They checked off the table number, and it’s a ‘fiancé’ not a ‘fiancée’, but it’s a table with two guys so…”

“Okay, but there’s a field for the name, did they fill it out?”

“How am I supposed to know who they are from a name though?”

“Oh my god, kid, you schmooze,” Umida says. “You roll up to their table, you lay on the customer service thick and introduce yourself and ask their names. People are idiots, they’ll tell you, just like that.”

Jerome cocks his head in contemplation. “Yeah okay, but no, there’s no name. It’s blank.”

“But you made a form,” Mere mock whispers.

Umida turns on her, her eyeshadow catching the bar lights as she narrows her eyes. “This is not the form’s fault, don’t you blame this on the form! The form has a field for a name! The form provides!”

“The form is flawless,” Mere agrees quickly, running her hand down Umida’s arm soothingly. “You can’t account for user error.”

Umida glares harder before looking up to the ceiling in supplication.

Mere, who has never in her life been able to resist picking at a scab, asks, “what table is it?”

Jerome checks the paper. “34.”

“The cursed table. The cursed lesbians!” Mere gasps, squirming out of the way when Umida tries to pinch her side.

“Well it’s not like the kid is a contender, so it’s 50/50,” Umida points out. “Much better odds than last time.”

“And to be fair, if the wrong guy gets the flute, he can just improvise and propose with the ring in hand,” Mere continues. “Overall, much less exciting drama than last time. 3/10 for me.”

“Thank god. Yeah, let’s do that.” Jerome walks away with his marching orders and Umida turns to Mere. “I have to actually go work. You gonna hang out here?” She’s off in a half hour and they have tickets to the back row of the latest Marvel nonsense.

“I got booze, olives, and an unobstructed view of my favourite drama. I’m all set.” In lieu of a proper kiss, Mere lifts Umida’s hand and kisses her wrist, delighting in watching her girlfriend’s eyes soften. She blows Mere a kiss and flits away to put out fires.

Mere is usually on her phone while she waits for Umida but tonight she watches table 34. The guys — Eddie and Buck, Umida reminded her — are across the table from each other, Eddie is relaxed in his chair but Buck is leaning forward, elbows on the table as he tells their son a story that has him cackling in his seat. They’re not holding hands, but anyone looking can see they’re together. They have ridiculous heart eyes for each other, and from her vantage point she can see those long legs intermingling again, one knee occasionally jostling into the other. Little tangible reminders that they’re there and together.

She saw hints of this that night, and to see it have taken hold and blossomed...suddenly she’s really invested in them having a great night. One of them planned this night out, wanted to surprise the other, and she doesn’t want that going to waste because of a blank field on a form.

Mere’s wearing a dark long-sleeve blouse, not too far off the dress code, so slips off the counter, snags the backup apron they always leave behind the bar and ties it around her waist. One of the newbies whose name she doesn’t know watches her from the host pedestal and Mere raises a fierce eyebrow at them until they go back to minding their own business.

She rinses out a jug and fills it with water and ice and slips back into her customer service posture to make the rounds of the tables in section 10.

“Well now, I recognize you handsome folk, don’t I?” she schmoozes when she gets to table 34, picking up Eddie’s glass first to fill.

Eddie doesn’t place her and she doesn’t blame him, he was under a lot of stress that night. It takes Buck a second but he gets it.

“Oh hey, yeah! Weren’t you — “ Buck cuts himself off awkwardly and casts an eye to Eddie and the kid. “You, ah, gave us our meals for free! Because of the, um, mix-up.”

That’s enough for Eddie to place her, and where Buck relaxes back into his chair as she fills his glass, Eddie goes stock still.

Bingo.

“What mix-up?” the kid asks.

“Ah, they put something in our drink by accident,” Buck lies without lying. “Real choking hazard! So they gave us our meals for free.”

“That’s dangerous,” the kid says.

“It was dangerous,” Mere agrees, filling his glass. “Choking hazard was right. Could have turned a really great night all wrong with a trip to the hospital.”

Eddie’s brow furrows slightly and Mere struggles to keep a neutral face.

“It’s never a good idea to hide things in food. I don’t know why people keep trying instead of just calling us for advice. We have tons of ways to help people with surprises.”

“I completely agree,” Buck says. “We’re actually firefighters and you wouldn’t believe how many accidental choking calls we get.”

Eddie swallows, his eyes looking mildly panicked.

“Firefighters!” Mere schmoozes harder, smiling at the kid as he gets excited again. “Well I certainly feel safer then.”

“Ah, you probably shouldn’t. I was actually one of those calls once,” Buck says halfway through a smile and grimace, pointing to his throat where there’s a faint scar. “Emergency tracheotomy on the floor of a restaurant. But that wasn’t a surprise, just, ah, too enthusiastic about the breadsticks.”

Eddie’s looking decidedly gray now, eyes laser focused on the scar.

“Okay, well I’ll just go ahead and clear these,” Mere says, jokingly reaching for the bread basket until Buck laughs back.

“I’m better now, promise! Small bites, chewed thoroughly!”

“Hmm, I don’t know,” she dithers dramatically, nodding to the kid. “If I leave those here, can I trust you to keep an eye on your dad?”

“Yeah!” the kid agrees with a toothy grin.

Buck’s cheeks redden quickly but he’s still smiling, his head ducked shyly in a way Mere doubts is due to her teasing. Eddie, meanwhile, is still looking poleaxed though fondness is fighting its way back in.

“Well, I was just subbing into this section so this will be goodbye for us but it was great to see you guys! Enjoy your evening!”

“Thanks, you too!” Buck says with an easy smile. Eddie manages a “thank you” and Mere has to restrain herself from patting his shoulder as she walks away.

She’s only just returned the apron to the bar when she sees Eddie walk in and head straight for the host before being led to the back.

“Ready to go?” Umida asks, back in her unsensible heels and cross-chest messenger bag.

Mere takes the hand she extends but tugs her closer instead of following her out, before saying the worst thing she’s ever said in her life, “Actually, do you mind if we stick around a little longer?”

“Something good about to happen?” she asks, peeking out the window.

Mere tugs her in closer and leans her chin on her shoulder. “I think so.”

Twenty minutes later, when Jerome passes by with a tray of assorted chocolate treats and two overturned coffee cups, Mere and Umida find themselves bracketed by half the front and back staff. Gossip still spreads like wildfire it seems.

Buck’s overturned coffee cup and plate is the last thing Jerome puts on the table, and as soon as it’s down, he excuses himself. He keeps a professional pace until he’s past the exterior doors and then he’s racing to take a front seat at the bar.

Eddie turns over his cup but doesn’t reach for the carafe, he wipes his hands on his jeans instead.

“Oh my god, he’s so nervous,” Jerome whispers.

“The kid is so in on it,” the host whose name Mere never caught says, and they’re right. Where Eddie’s tensed up, the kid is bouncing in his seat like he knows something’s coming.

“Come on, guy,” a bus boy mutters, checking his watch. His break is almost over.

Mere’s heart is beating hard in sympathy with Eddie’s as they all watch Buck ignore his coffee cup in favor of serving their kid from the tray. Then he signals to Eddie’s plate, who can’t not lift it for the offered chocolate tortes. Finally, there’s chocolate on everyone’s plates and Buck sits back to try a piece of brownie and Eddie can’t take it anymore.

He motions to the carafe and Buck perks up, finally reaching for his cup. But just as his fingers close around it, some idiot’s dog barks on the sideway, calling his attention away. His fingers flip the cup without ever looking at it, or the plate underneath it.

“Oh come on,” Umida moans.

The dog passes with its dumbass owner and Buck puts his cup back down, or tries to, but finds something in the way. He tries again, pushing the intrusion away with the bottom of the cup.

“Oh my god,” is whined in Mere’s left ear and when she turns her head she’s surprised to find not another Tilted Cactus employee but a customer dressed to the nines, pearls and all.

“Ma’am, did you —”

“Shh,” the woman returns, her eyes never moving from the window. Mere turns back too.

Finally, Buck has managed to push the offending items off the plate and settle his cup down and it’s a nail-biting few seconds where it actually looks like he’s going to reach for the carafe and go about his business.

But like a true wingman, the little kid points directly at it, prompting Buck to push the napkin aside and pick up — the ring.

Buck freezes, holding the ring between his thumb and index. His cheeks flush and a smile begins to break over his face before he looks startled and the smile falls abruptly away.

It’s about this time Eddie realizes that proposing by recreating the night they got together was never going to be the best idea when the impetus to their relationship was an engagement ring accidentally sent to the wrong person.

Eddie vaults out of his seat and into the empty one next to Buck, wrapping his hand around the one holding the ring, and bringing his other hand to his cheek to gently turn his head until Buck is looking at him. They can’t tell what he says, but they can watch Buck’s eyes fill with tears, watch as Eddie gestures to their son who’s smiling wide and reaching out for a hand, which Buck instantly provides. His attention comes back to Eddie then, who’s saying something that gets them both looking a little fragile and it’s hard to say if he actually popped the question yet but Buck is surging forward to kiss him hard and fast. Eddie gives as good as he’s getting for a moment before he slows them with small, gentle kisses. And when they finally break apart, Eddie plucks the ring from Buck’s fingers and slides it onto his ring finger as Buck watches, his eyes wide and half incredulous.

Outside, the nearby tables break out into applause, startling the trio and reminding the two men that they are indeed out in public. Eddie acknowledges the applause with an embarrassed hand and waits until they have a modicum of privacy again before taking Buck’s hand and kissing right near the where the ring now sits. He then reluctantly shuffles back into his seat.

Inside, Mere is hugging Umida to her with a strength buoyed by love. Around them, the staff are starting to disperse, some wiping their eyes, some with goofy grins on their faces.

“Young man,” the lady in the pearls says to Jerome, holding out her credit card, “I want you to charge that family’s meal to my card.”

“Yes, ma’am. That’s very generous of you.”

The woman sniffs delicately and leaves without another word. Hopefully Jerome knows where she was sitting…

“I’m glad she did that,” Mere says into Umida’s shoulder, “I was going to, otherwise, and I’m a broke-ass student.”

“I would have pitched in,” Umida says, her voice soft and pensive. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Mere agrees, sliding off the bar counter for the last time. “Oh, hold on.”

She gets closer to the window and turns the flash off of her camera before taking a pic.

“I think that’s bordering on creepy now,” Umida says without judgement.

“It’s not for me.” Mere sends the pic off with a note and three ring emojis.

They don’t make it out of the restaurant before her phone dings.

“What does Tomas have to say?” Umida asks with a smirk.

Mere pulls up the text and reads, “Gays and lesbians. Both, at the same time. Never doubting Umida’s gaydar again.”

Umida laughs victoriously, which shouldn’t be as sexy as it is, and Mere lets her drag her by the hand down the street, letting the nostalgia from tonight settle in her chest.

If there’s anything she misses from working the restaurant scene, it’s getting this glimpse into people’s lives.

Yeah, most of the work was gross, obnoxious, or mind-numbing. But every now and again, she got to be a part of strangers’ stories. Got to be there for the happiest days like graduations, or bridal showers. And even the sadder stories could be beautiful sometimes, like when she got to be extra kind to the elderly woman coming into the restaurant alone for the first time in ten years, or watch a family have their last supper together before their kid moves away for school. It’s just all so human and some kind of wonderful.

She hopes her career as a paramedic will have just a little bit of that kind of magic.

[vanderlindemangofarm]

The Van der Linde Gang - Jobs in a Modern AU

I’ve been really inspired to write about this lately and I’d love to hear your takes! These are the occupations that I think each gang member would have in a modern AU. Some were more challenging than others, but hopefully you guys can see where I’m coming from with each! 

Arthur: Film location scout. His natural eye for photography and framing makes Arthur the perfect member of a pre-production team. His no-bullshit approach to everything means he keeps to deadlines, although he’s known to go wandering off into the wilderness for unknown amounts of time. He enjoys the lone working side of his job and finding exactly the right spots that would make the film come to life. He doesn’t always like the films once they’re finished (in fact he’s often bought cinema tickets and walked out half way through, grumbling that it wasn’t worth the popcorn) but he can’t deny the excited buzz he gets every time he gets hired. In his early years as an assistant he met Bertie Mason, a nervous but talented photography intern. Despite an ill-advised hookup after a week joined at the hip they have remained close friends and still go out on shoots together. 

John: landscape gardener. John? Flowers? Yes, alright, I found it hard to believe too. But look, it’s not about the flowers, even if he does get misty-eyed at the sight of a sunflower in the early morning light. It’s about the challenge, the outdoors, and solving problems. After all the renovations he did to his house and garden (some more successful than others) John found how much satisfaction he got from digging and reshaping and planting. Don’t get me wrong, he’s often without a shirt, even in the colder months, much to the delight of some and the horror of others. He always makes friends with the household pets and is wonderful with the kids, always dropping his task to throw a frisbee around for a bit or cheekily accept an ice cold glass of lemonade from their mothers. Whenever he drives past one of his projects he feels himself glowing with pride - “I did that!”. 

Dutch: philosophy lecturer. As always, late with Starbucks. Will he actually grade your essay? Will it mysteriously disappear? Keeps you on your toes, doesn’t it? Sitting precariously on the very edge of his desk, leather jacket hanging off his shoulders and losing his balance every 15 minutes, Dr Van der Linde is nothing short of a wonder. For the love of all that is holy, do not get him started on Kant. Kant has no place here. You want to talk about your precious Kant? Get your butt down to Dr O’Driscoll’s class, he has plenty to say about Kant. Perhaps a little too fond of Socrates. Plato who? Completely illegible handwriting and definitely sleeping with several members of the faculty. But somehow his students always walk away with excellent grades. At the end of each term Dutch takes everyone out to a local bar for drinks, insists on buying tequila which no one really fancies at 11am. Claims to ride a motorcycle called The Count which no one has actually seen. Impossible to hate, and he writes everyone great references for their summer internships. 

Hosea: social worker. In a crisis, there’s no one better to knock on your door. Hosea has seen it all and he’ll see it all again, but that doesn’t stop him from treating every single case he gets with the upmost respect and care. His no-nonsense approach to his work means he gets things done, but he never sacrifices his compassion. He mostly works with teenagers and has a way of being able to connect to each individual without coming across as patronising. He’s been in the field for over two decades and is an invaluable mentor for any newcomers, always willing to share a word or two of advice or be a shoulder to cry on. 

Javier: guitar teacher and music therapist. During his worst years, Javier’s guitar was his lifeline. And he wants to help others find their lifeline, too. He works on a freelance basis, mainly going into mental health hospitals, schools and prisons. He runs workshops focusing on guitar playing, but brings other instruments (mainly percussion) to try too. He’s a gentle teacher, always with a joke in his back pocket for when you need it most. He has nicknames for everyone and remembers everything they’ve ever told him. He’s patient and never lets anyone feel bad for making a mistake. Javier also runs an after-school guitar club at the local middle school alongside playing his own music at gigs whenever he can. No, he doesn’t reply to DMs no matter how thirsty they are. 

Sadie: self-defense instructor. After surviving an attack several years ago, Sadie used her ferocity to get her qualification in self-defense to teach other women how to fight back should they need to. Her husband Jake helps out in her classes, happily allowing himself to be thrown around and slammed onto the mat as many times as required. Her students are terrified of her in the best and nicest way. Sadie also volunteers at a women’s refuge, providing emergency care and taking phone calls. 

Charles: environmental campaign manager. Charles has always been drawn to charities and started doing voluntary work for Greenpeace when he was at university, securing an internship with them in Canada which led to a full time job. Whilst Charles mainly hosts meetings and organises events, he also works closely with elementary schools and runs workshops with outdoor activities, crafts and music. Last week they made bird feeders! It was awesome. He’s also a keen activist and regularly meets up with Javier to go to protests and community events, most recently for BLM. 

Micah: motorcycle mechanic. Micah is massively invested in motorcycle culture and treats his beloved bike better than his own mother, if he still spoke to her. Although he pretends not to care, fixing bikes is his greatest passion and almost looks...happy when he’s doing it? Maybe? He likes knowing more than the people who stop by his shop and makes sure they know it. Occasionally he leaves his number on a scrap of paper inside women’s handbags when they’re not looking but for some reason none of them call. Like it or not, he’s incredibly skilled and will have your motorcycle singing a tune if that’s what you want. Euphemism? Of course not. 

Abigail: nurse. She was so shy when she realised she wanted to pursue nursing - would people laugh at her? Was she too impatient, too nagging, too shrill? Her dyslexia always put her off going into further education and she was always discouraged by her parents. But with lots of encouragement from Hosea (who helped her to fill out her applications and other forms) and her friends, Abigail went to university in her 30′s to get her degree. She graduated top of her class and now works full time in her local hospital, based mostly in the emergency room. From drunken brawlers to tearful children and grumpy old men with lumbago, Abigail has learnt to keep her cool and to have faith in her own ability. 

Molly: holistic therapist and masseuse. It took years to get that bastard of a philosopher out of her head (and out of her bed - damn those happy hour drinks “for old times’ sake”), but she’s finally free. Molly radiates a kindness that few took to the time to see, and she wanted to take strength from her past struggles to help others who may need someone to listen, just as she did. Molly took a bunch of online courses in various holistic therapies, including aromatherapy and massage, as this was something she had always been interested in. She runs a tiny clinic on a quiet street, the rooms filled with sunshine and the scent of geraniums. She also has a quite popular ASMR YouTube channel, Emerald Eyes ASMR, which she shyly admits just reached 500k subscribers. Her most popular video, ‘Irish Girl Helps You Fall Asleep (soft spoken, tapping, mouth sounds)’ just reached over a million hits. 

Kieran: veterinarian specialising in equine care. Much like Abigail, Kieran didn’t like the idea of going back into education. He’d had a rough time of it as a teenager, dropping out of high school early and working a string of menial jobs for the next decade. They paid his rent, but he still felt poor. His favourite job, however, was working at a stable. The horses made him feel calm and he found that he could read them better than most people. He went to the library and read as much as he could about them. From there, he got himself an apprenticeship which paved the way for him to earn his degree in veterinary science. He smiled so hard in his graduation photo his eyes disappeared into his cheeks. He travels all over the local countryside, visiting farms and ranches to care for the horses. His confidence picked up after the first few blunders, and little by little he’s saving up to buy his own ranch one day. 

Lenny: political science student. You know that kid who always looks amazing, even in 9am lectures? Yeah, that’s not Lenny, but he’s sat just behind. See him? Yep, the one rubbing sleep from his eyes as he pushes through the effects of another all-nighter. It’s not due to procrastination, but from perfectionism. He spends hour agonising over references, appendixes and even titles. One time he was so tired he signed his work “Ynnel”. He’s completely in love with his course and relishes every class he takes. Oh, he’s taking Dutch’s ‘History of Western Philosophy’ module by the way. Sitting in the front row, middle seat, directly in front of Dutch, his eyes glinting wickedly. Poor Dutch. Lenny has a counterpoint for absolutely everything and can barely stifle his laughter as Dutch gets more and more flustered. He’s been dating Jenny Kirk, an English Lit student, for the past few months and it’s going well. So well in fact, that he might stop hiding his Doctor Who merchandise every time she comes to his dorm room. 

Tilly: business student. Tilly started university at the same time as Lenny and they still always go to the library together, rolling their eyes at each other over their morning peppermint lattes. Tilly is at the forefront of any and all on-campus activism. Think of Sam from Dear White People - that’s our Tilly. She wears her Ravenclaw scarf all autumn and winter long and posts scathing Instagram stories about the cafeteria food. But she’s powerfully kind and very ambitious, taking on a part time job tutoring kids with dyslexia in their reading and writing. 

Susan: midwife. Think having a baby is scary? Try crossing Nurse Grimshaw. She’s here now, and that baby is coming out of you one way or another. She’ll hold your hand through thick and thin but if you dare say “I can’t do it” one more time she’ll unleash hell. Susan will make sure everyone has a job to do. Partner just standing there like a lemon? Not on her watch. She’s harsh but kind to her trainees and will always offer a cup of coffee and a shoulder to cry on, but there’s a time and place for slacking and it’s not on her labour ward. 

Trelawny: talent agent. Our Josiah is cunning, infuriatingly charismatic and with an eye for the best of the best - what else could he do so effortlessly? He’ll wrangle you a 10 second role as a latrine cleaner in a non-profit film and he’ll still make you feel like the next DiCaprio. You’re a diamond, don’t you know? Of course you could nab Elphaba, we’ll worry about the singing later. How do you feel about cat food commercials? No no, it’s not pornography, it really is cat food this time - he double checked. On top of this, he knows everyone in the business. No, really. He can’t move 3 feet down Broadway without someone booming his name. The tone of said boom depends, of course, but who hasn’t been caught with his bottom out in that director’s wife’s en-suite? 

Sean: outdoor activity centre instructor. You mean you can actually get paid to swim in lakes, ride ziplines through the forest and eat roasted marshmallows?! Sean couldn’t believe his ears. But it was true, and he’s living his best life. He may be on his penultimate warning for unruly behaviour, but he knows he could never really get fired. How could they? Everyone loves him. And to his credit, he’s a fantastic instructor, especially with kids. Everything from canoeing to caving, wild swimming to climbing, Sean has mastered it all and he always makes it fun. No one is allowed to feel left out or silly for not being able to do something. Sean has a way of making everyone feel included, even if you can only make it up the first few rungs of the ladder. Hey, that’s still off the ground! He once knew this feller Bill who cried because a moth flew into his face. You’re doing fine. 

Mary-Beth: librarian and YA author. Sweet Mary-Beth, how could she be anywhere else but surrounded by books? She adores her job at her small, local library and is always looking for ways to make it even better. She often gets tangled up in the stories she reads whilst organising shelves, but it’s quiet enough most days that she’s rarely caught. She loves helping people find their books or recommending her favourites. She also runs the toddler storytime groups and a writing club for older kids. Of course, she’s also writing her own books. The first of her ‘Valentine Mysteries’ books made a modest profit and she’s excited to write more about the adventures of Leslie Dupont. 

Karen: actress. Realising that she had a knack for accents and even after an especially successful high school lead role as Roxy Hart, Karen didn’t really acknowledge her would-be passion for acting for a long time. But she used her talents to get herself and her friends into X-rated films, dive bars and successfully pull off dozens of prank calls. It wasn’t until one of her friends was going to an open-call audition for a short film and wanted someone to go with her that Karen had her epithany. She was cast on the spot, much to the dismay of her friend. Since then, she’s been in a handful of arthouse films, a commercial here and there, and recently enjoyed a short run as Hermia in A Midsummer Night’s Dream at a small theatre downtown. Does she want fame and fortune? Honestly, she hasn’t really thought about it. Right now, she’s just enjoying the ride. And the phone numbers left for her at front of house from many admirers. 

Strauss: financial loan adviser. Oh boy, perhaps you saw this one coming. Then again, maybe not. Old Leopold isn’t quite the two-pronged-tongued eldritch horror people often mistake him for. In fact, he actually advises people against loan sharks. He had his fair share of debts y’see and he genuinely doesn’t want anyone else to go through the same thing. He’s not exactly sweet and cuddly, but he might let you have a free pen if you call by his office. I mean, technically they’re not free but...never mind, just take it. 

Bill: plumber. It was purely accidental that Bill bashed his way into his career. No, really. His sink was blocked and after an hour of poking and prodding the pipes he started hitting the poor thing with a spanner out of pure frustration, cursing all the way. To his shock, it worked, and he suddenly had running water again. What shocked him more is that he realised he wanted to know how. So, he bought a book. And he read the book. And one thing led to another, and now he’s the proud owner of Williamson Plumbing Inc. The money is very good, but for Bill that’s not it. You have to understand that for him, it’s the act itself of fixing something that brings Bill immense satisfaction. And Bill isn’t used to knowing more about something - anything - than those around him. For the first time perhaps in his life, he can sit down, solve a problem, and know that he’s done a good job. 

Swanson: AA group leader. After getting completely sober almost a decade ago and staying that way, Orville wanted to give something back to the people who had helped him out so greatly. Becoming a volunteer to help those who were trapped where he was seemed like the only path, and it felt so right. Orville is there in meetings, making coffee, handing out donuts and training new volunteers. If anyone wants to talk about their faith he’s all ears, but he never pushes it as a cure-all in any situation. Orville’s sobriety has also meant that he’s learnt to make the most phenomenal mocktails. 

Pearson: grocery shop manager and cooking teacher. Simon has his small grocery shop on the edge of town which has a wide range of regular customers. But he wanted to do more, so he set up a small class to teach fellow veterans how to cook. His wife helps out, and they grow the ingredients together in their garden and down at the allotment. It’s just an therapeutic for him as it is for his students, as he’s only just realising how much he wants to talk about his time in the navy. 

Uncle: unknown. For the longest time, everyone thought Uncle worked at one of the worst dive bars in town, as whenever they stumbled in for a nightcap he was there, behind the bar, happy as a pig in shit. Turns out that he just started going there one night and no one could get him to leave. And so every evening he’ll appear like a phantom, sit himself in the half-broken chair behind the bar (clearly labelled “not for customer use”), order the cheapest beer on the menu and sit there until midnight. No one can understand how he gets the means to live as he ragingly denies receiving any government handouts despite his lumbago. Claims to be a veteran but hasn’t fought in any wars anyone has heard of. 

[ad1thi]

henlo adi tis i with a request for some stevetony fics,,, angsty if you have 'em 💓

okay so this rec list is mainly classic stevetony fics, but i assure you - there’s angsty ones in there (ive marked the angsty ones with a 😞 so you can identify them quicker) just a general note that a lot of authors are going to repeat, because there are some authors that (imo) are stevetony staples (so if you see an author more than once - thats a sign that ALL of their stevetony is good and ive cherry picked the ones i love the most) (ive also marked those authors with a 🌟) 

//

in the light of limerence:  @shell-heads

It's the final game of the season, their biggest one yet, and there's only one question on everybody's mind: who the hell is Captain Steve Rogers' boyfriend, and why does Cap keep dodging questions about him?

"You gotta admit it's suspicious that only Bucky and Sam have met your boyfriend, dude," Clint points out as he shoves Pietro away with a smirk, pulling the uniform over his head and tugging it down. "We've known you, what-two years? We've never seen the guy even once."

"And your phone mysteriously only has pictures of Tony Stark," Johnny Storm adds as he joins the conversation, knocking knees with Thor when he sits down on one of the benches. "Tony Stark, who has at least ten fansites and personally assured me he's had a boyfriend for the past five years."

"I can't believe Cap is actually out here acting like Tony Stark's boyfriend," Luke says with a smirk, resting against a wall without a care.

"I can't believe you guys still think this is a joke," Sam throws back while tossing his other dirty sock at Luke, who dodges it smoothly.

In little more than ten minutes, the biggest question of Shield University is answered with much aplomb by none other than Tony Stark himself.

almeno tu nell'universo: @silkspectred 😞 🌟 (funfact: this is the fic that got me into stevetony) 

Tony drives off.

Well, he wants to.

But he can’t.

Because.

Steve Rogers is in front of his car.

Steve fucking Rogers. Is in front of Tony’s fucking car.

Rookie and Jailbait Take On The World: @theapplepielifestyle 🌟

“You really should be in school, you know.”

“Why would I be there when I could be here, solving crimes with my favourite rookie?” Tony flashes a grin, and Steve’s stomach twists like it did on the first day.

Teenager, Steve’s mind supplies. Definitely not legal, stop doing fluttery things, stomach.

Thumb, Index and Pinky Extended: @/Eudoxia 😞

Tony Stark is twenty-one when he loses his voice. It shouldn't matter, but in a world where the first words your Soulmate says to you are marked on your skin, it can be pretty damn annoying.

I (created from fantasies) exist solely for you: @mizzy2k

Six years ago, without the Avengers Initiative there to save the day, scientist Dr. Eric Selvig sacrificed himself to save the world, the almighty demi-god Thor was lost to a terrible storm, and vigilante Iron Man – spotted with a nuclear weapon trying to take advantage of the situation – was forever labelled an enemy of SHIELD.

This is a comic book office AU, where Steve is defrosted a year too late, Thor has forgotten who he is, and no one knows Tony is Iron Man.

Also includes: office pranks, inappropriate post-it notes, and superheroes who like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Celestial Navigation: @sabrecmc

Celestial Navigation: 18 year old Omega!Tony finds himself Bonded to Captain Steve Rogers. He isn't happy about it until he is.

By request, here is CN in one place without other stories and artwork.

Ironsides: @copperbadge 🌟

Antonia Carter Stark takes no shit and no prisoners.

Paved With Good Intentions (I’m On The Road To Hell): @itsallavengers 😞 🌟

When the mysterious group of vigilante assassins known only as 'The Avengers' are tipped off about the dirty secrets that lie within Stark Industries, Steve Rogers has his heart set on taking out Tony Stark for good in order to protect the rest of the world from his evil. He's seen the footage, after all- Stark is a man who fights only for himself. And of course, when a job arises as chief bodyguard for Stark, to protect him from the growing threat of an ominously infatuated stalker, the opportunity is way too good for him to miss out on. It's the perfect placement, and the perfect way to find out whether or not their tipoff is genuine.

But as Steve falls into rank as the new bodyguard for Mr. Stark and he spends time getting to know and protect him, his initial hatred begins to falter and merge into something different, something far more terrifying than the prospect of killing the face of Stark Industries.

Steve Rogers may just be falling in love with him instead.

The Problem With Communication: @itsallavengers

Steve is terrible at flirting, but when he finally picks up the courage to talk to the adorable barista who makes his drinks, he finds himself hitting a small snag:

That being, Tony is deaf. He doesn't know what Steve is saying.

But never say Steve Rogers does not rise to a challenge.

Killing Me Softly (With His Song): @itsallavengers

Steve is Tony's whole world. Tony couldn't imagine life without him. They've grown up together, after all.

Steve gets cancer.

Open Field In Front of Him: orphan account

Steve Rogers's football season is functionally over after a loss to Rutgers, but he finds a distraction in Tony Stark (yes, THAT Tony Stark). A college AU Stony fic.

Good For You: @orbingarrow 😞

Steve doesn't understand why Tony dates people who abuse him. Tony doesn't understand why Steve cares.

The rest is bad choices, good choices, rehab, milkshakes, paintball, YouTube videos, couples therapy and learning to put the past in the past. Or: How Tony finds his happy ending.

COMPLETE 5/27/16 Edited to add art as last chapter on 6/23/16

Wrapped Up In Clover: @festiveferret

It's been seven years since Steve and Tony split up, and Steve's sure he'll never see Tony again. He's finally managed to put their failed relationship behind him and move on, focusing on his friends and building his business. But then his best friends, Bucky and Clint, decide to get married, and their wedding week at a cabin resort in Vermont turns into a minefield of heartbreak for Steve.

little green soldiers: @/nasa 🌟

“Rhodey,” Tony says. “I’m not stupid. He’s shipping out in three months. I’m not going to fall in love with him.”

Tony is a student at MIT; Steve is a soldier. They meet at a house party six months before Steve is set to deploy. This is their story.

flesh and bone: @/nasa 😞

“You or Rogers?” they ask, brandishing a knife or a gun or a flame.

“Me,” Tony says, over and over again. “Me, me, me,” always me.

Buried: @not-close-to-straight

When Howard Stark demands Tony work at a dig site in S.America one summer to "build character" and "learn about life", Tony is furious. But then he meets soldier/archeologist Steve and falls in love with blue eyes and a perfect smile. 

Just as they are ready to move forward together, Steve leaves abruptly with no explanation and breaks Tonys heart. Ten years later, Tony stumbles across the file for the old dig site. He's determined to visit and shut it down, but discovers that instead of a village, the dig has uncovered a temple and actually needs MORE money to stay open. A security team is hired to protect the staff and the artefacts they find, and Tony comes face to face with Steve Rogers all over again– except Steve is bearded and BIGGER and way more dangerous than he used to be...And Tony likes it.

When the camp is attacked, Steve jumps into action, snatching Tony and running into the jungle to escape and work their way towards safety. But long days and nights together bring back old feelings, and one day Steve takes a risk and asks Tony to give them another chance. Will Tony say yes? Or is his heart buried too far for the soldier-turned- archaeologist-turned-mercenary to find it?

don’t know why it took me so long to see: @3799steps 

“Oh, watch this,” Natasha says, propping her chin against her knuckles and turning a sweet gaze on him. “Tony, what’s it like dating a superhero?”

Tony bristles in irritation. “We’re not dating,” he snaps. “Captain America probably thinks he can get into anyone’s pants just ‘cause he’s got a mask, costume, and reputation, but not me, buddy. That shield? Gotta be overcompensating for something.” He adds, a bit petulantly, “Oh, and all that blue? Definitely more Steve’s color than his.”

- In which Tony is a genius in all matters except recognising his boyfriend past a mask

Heartlines: @nanasekei 🌟

“Let me,” Tony repeats. He regrets it deeply, so much, he wants to stick the words back into his mouth again, and it must show, in the way his voice wavers. He feels exposed, all of a sudden, as if he’s asking something bigger than what he can actually say. Let me touch you, let me take care of you. “Just… Let me do it.“

Feel Whole Again: @thepartyresponsible

Steve turns to leave. It’s easier to talk, somehow, when he’s not looking at him. “If you need anything,” he says, “I’m just a few floors down.”

“Might regret that, Cap,” Tony says to his retreating back. “I’ve been told I’m needy.”

Steve doesn’t know who the hell said that to Tony. It’s probably for the best that he doesn’t.

“It’s an honor,” he says, a little helpless, out of his depth and out of his time. “It’s an honor to be trusted with something like that, Tony.”

Attack Dog: @/salytierra

Steve doesn't swim in self-delusion. He knows that he is sick and that his owner is even worse. He is aware of it every time he rips some nameless guy’s throat out and feels the crunch of bones under his fingers. He is aware of it every time the rush of adrenaline at seeing life slip away from a stranger’s eyes hits him and gets him bothered and panting in ways that have nothing to do with physical exhaustion.

But it feels so good…

His owner’s approach is less personal. His shots fall clean and take out several foes at a time, his figure elegant and so graceful he looks like a god among savages. He is power incarnated, cold and burning like a sun at the same time… and Steve tries not to focus on him when they are fighting together, least his knees go weak and his technique falters. It’s fine though. They will go home afterwards and his owner will fuck him on the hard floor, with most of their gear still on and a vicious grip in his hair.

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

Remus' Secret

Summary: The Marauders' first thoughts on Remus' secret. Part 2 of First Impressions.

TW: Mentions of abuse

REMUS P.O.V I had friends! I really learned to love those assholes. I knew they did stupid things sometimes, but I just felt so lucky to have friends at all. They made me feel normal, but that ment I was forgetting something. I was still a werewolf.

The year drove fast and I was back home, telling my mum about my adventures at Hogwarts and my new friends. "They sound awsome, Honey" she said smiling "I can't wait to meet them" "You haven't told them about..." my dad interrupted. He looked worried. "Lyall..." mum said "I'm just making sure" he answered "They might not like it" "Lyall!" "I haven't dad, don't worry" I couldn't. I knew it. Who was I kidding? I could pretend to be a normal boy, but I wasn't. If the boys found out what I was, there were gonna kick me out. And maybe I would get dragged out of Hogwarts and go back to being locked up. I couldn't let that happen. "I'll go back to my dorm" I said

But I didn't. I stood at the other side of the door listening. "Why did you do that Lyall? What do you keep saying those things?" "It's true. Those kids are gonna run away from a werewolf. Specially that Black, you don't know the Blacks" And you don't know Sirius. I thought "You should stop treating your son like a freak" mum said upset. "We need to treat him like a normal boy" "HE IS NOT NORMAL!" I jumped at that. Tears rolled down my cheeks. "He is not normal Hope" his voice was cracked "I just want to protect him. I don't want him to suffer more. He has been through so much" My mum started crying and dad hugged her. "I'm sorry darling. I'm sorry"

I couldn't take it anymore. I locked myself in my room. I was crying and air no longer entered into my lungs. I was breathing hard. When I saw a letter on my bed. It was from James. My friend. A friend I could not longer have, because I was a monster. I took the letter and broke it into a pieces. After crying a little more, I looked at the pieces of paper scattered on the floor. And I regretted breaking it. What was James saying? I wanted to know. I tried to join the pieces so I could see what was written.

'Dear Remus, How is your summer, brilliant boy? Mine is fine. I played lots of Quidditch with my dad. I also spent time with Frank Longbottom. He is nice. But he is not as mischivous as you guys, If you know what I mean. Listen. I've been owling Sirius but he hasn't answered. Asshole. Have you heard from him? I hope he is okay. James.'

Well, at least James was having fun, like a normal boy. And the rest of the summer I tried writing to Sirius but he didn't respond. "I was busy, you know?" he had said "Family meetings that I had to attend an' all" I knew he was lying. I could tell he didn't have a good summer. Just like me.

Second year went fine. Except I had to lie to my friends everytime. "Mum's sick" or "One of my relatives died" They weren't stupid. They knew something was up. "So what exactly does your mum have, Remus?" James asked "Yeah sounds pretty serious" said Peter "Ha Sirius" he joked "But honestly mate, Is she alright?" "Amm.." Fuck. What was I supposed to say? "We don't actually know.... But ..but it's not bad" I didn't want them to worry. "My mom used to be a healer, maybe we could ask her about it" said James "So it's not contagious?" asked Peter "Pete" protested Sirius "What?" he aswered "Remus looks ill sometimes. I thought..." Honestly my temper by now started racing. "Remus it's not sick" "You're fine, right mate?" "I WOULD BE IF YOU'D STOP ASKING!" The boys glanced at me in shock. "I... I'll take a walk" I said and stormed out of the dorm.

I didn't know were I was heading. I couldn't be angry at my friends. They were just worried. I was angry with myself, and my condition. I didn't want to lie to them anymore. But I had to. I was crying and running through a corridor, when I bumped into someone. "Mr. Lupin!" it was McGonagall "May I ask were are you running to?" "Sorry Professor" She saw my tears and her expression softened. "Come with me" she said

We got to her office. "Have a biscuit" she said offering them to me. I took one and I sat down. "Is everything okay?" No. It wasn't. And it will never be. But McGonagall gave me the confidence to tell her the truth. So I did. I told her everything. How I felt. And how I couldn't lie to my friends anymore. "Maybe I don't deserve friendship" I finished. "Mr. Lupin" she said "I'm gonna be honest. You are the first werewolf I've met. And I don't know how werewolves usually are, but if all of them are like you, then I don't know what everyone is worried about" I smiled at that. "I don't know how your friends are going to react if you tell them. But you should start accepting yourself first. And honestly, if you do tell them, and they don't accept you, there are not really your friends, are they?" "Do you think I should tell them?" I asked She sighed "That's up to you Mr. Lupin. No one else" "They just keep asking me where do I go, why do I look so sick?" "Then I suggest you make up a good story. So they won't ask anymore" she finished smiling.

I relaxed to her words. I didn't know if I was going to tell them. Honestly, I was too scared of loosing them. But I decided to relax and try to answer their questions. I could come up with a story, right? I wasn't going to be a normal boy, never. But I least I could try and pretend to be one.

I got back to our dorm. My friends were gathered across the floor talking with each other. As I entered they all looked at me. "Are you okay Remus?" Sirius asked me. I nodded. "Sorry for upsetting you mate, we were just worried" James said. Peter nodded. "We won't ask you anymore" I sat down with them. "It's okay" I said "I'm sorry for yelling. It's just that I'm not used to it. I've never had friends before. This is new to me" I sighed. The boys didn't say anything but they smiled. James rubbed my hair. "You ask away" I continued. They stayed silent for a while. "So you and your mum are okay?" Peter asked I nodded. "Yes" I lied "It's a condition in my family, we get sick easily. That's why I look like shit" I smiled. The boys laugh at that. But Sirius seemed still worried. "Do you get along... with your parents?" he asked me as if it was something weird. "Yes, they are brilliant" I said. I was worried though. Did Sirius had problems with his parents? "Remus" said James "Maybe we could go visit your mum with you someday" Damn. I felt guilty to lie again. But my dad was right. This was too good to be true. I couldn't spoil this. So I decided to lie again. Merlin, forgive me for being selfish. But I was happy with them. "Yes, perhaps" I said smiling "Enough of the sad talk" said Peter "I'm starving. Can we go to the kitchens like the last time?" "Well sorry Pete, it's not our fault" Sirus said then he grabbed my face "But look at this cute baby" "Arrgg, Sirius" I protested "He needs love doesn't he?" he continued "Oh yes he does" said James rubbing my hair. Peter laughed. "Merlin, I regret what I said. You're no my friends, you're so annoying!" I said sarcastically. "Oh you love us" said James giving me a kiss on the cheek. And yes he was right. I did love them. "Okay boys let's head to the kitchens" said James "Finally" said Peter "And we will use my cloak"

SIRIUS P.O.V My parents were no happy about me being a Gryffindor. All the yelling of my mother, and curses of my father prooved it. Even Reggie seemed disappointed. I told him Gryffindor was not that bad, if he could get in, he could be part of my gang. We would have so much fun. But no, he got into Slytherin, just like my parents wanted. That meant we were supposed to be enemies and again I was the only bad guy. But, you know what? I don't want to talk about it.

Instead I had a bigger issue. Remus. I didn't buy his story about his mum. Something didn't fit up. If he really liked his parents, then why did he seem so sad when he leave, and so annoyed and tired when he return? It was the same sick feeling I got when I was going to see my parents, or my other family members. And he avoided talking about them. Just like I avoided talking about mine. If there's something you don't know about me, is that I like mysteries. Me and Reggie used to wonder around Grimmaund Place finding them. But Remus Lupin was the biggest mystery so far and I was going to solve it.

I had my suspicions already. But it wasn't confirmed until I saw them. Remus' scars. I didn't mean to, I swear. James and I were about to practice for Quidditch this year, since he wanted to be on the team, but I forgot my gloves, it was freezing outside, so I went back to get them, when I saw him. Remus was changing in the loo, door slightly opened. His back was covered in tiny scars. Holy shit. He didn't got those from the bikey thing, he told us about. It was impossible. I was sure of that.

So I told my concerns to the boys, while he was 'visiting his mum' again. "I'm really worried about Remus" I said out of the sudden. Honestly that was all I was focused on. "What are talking about?" asked James I couldn't tell them about the scars. Could I? It was none of my business. "I don't know" I answered "Don't you think is suspicions? He goes there almost every month?" Honestly it seemed like a pattern. "Mate, we promised not to ask anymore remember?" said James "His mum is sick" added Peter "Yes but he doesn't talk about his family. He flicks every time I ask him something. And you guys talk about your families a lot" I hoped I could get to the point. "You don't talk about your family either" said James in suspicion. Shit. I didn't say anything. I didn't know how to tell them what I thought. Everything fitted. "Maybe he is just shy?" suggested Peter "Honestly mate, what are you so worried about?" James asked. "He said he and his mum were fine" Blimey! How could they not see it? "Nothing" I said relaxing "I guess you are right, he is just with his mum, yeah?"

They wouldn't understand. James had cool parents. Peter's mum always sent him sweets. I always thought that all the curses and punishment were normal, a way of educating children. Until I came to Hogwarts. I was the only one with harsh parents. Well, if my suspicions were correct, Remus as well. If anything I should ask him. And tell him he is not alone. Maybe we could do something about it.

So I found him on the library. And decided to confront the situation. "Hey nerd" I said smiling as I sat down. He looked at me. "Sirius?" "The very same" I grinned "Tell me something only Sirius would know". "What?" "Do it" "Fine" I said thinking "Emm... You use pijamas with little fish on them" I smirked Remus rolled his eyes "Sharks. And they are badass" I smiled "What was that all about?" Sometimes Remus came up with the most bizarre comments. "I needed to make sure it was really you, not someone on a polyjuice potion" he said I looked at him puzzled. "I think this is your first time in the library" Oh. I laughted so hard, Mrs. Pince looked at me. "Sorry" "So what are you doing here?" he asked "No pranks?" "I think Peeves got that covered" "What did he do?" "He started a wiped cream fight on the Great Hall, ten minutes ago" "Really?" asked Remus laughing. I nodded. "Well, you're now on the library, so you'll have to read a book" he continued "Arrgg" I protested. "Take this one"

While Remus grabbed the book from the table, his sleeve rolled up a bit and I saw on his arm a big thick scar. Honestly, Remus had distracted me until now, but I remembered what I was going to ask him. "That's a new one" I said out loud without thinking. "What?" I pointed to his arm. "Your arm Remus, you didn't have that scar" I tried to grab his arm, but he pulled away. "Remus. Is your dad hitting you?" Sometimes I didn't think before speaking. That got me into trouble at home. But I just needed to know. "What?" "You can tell me if something is going on" "What are you talking about Sirius?" he sounded angry. "Remus you have scars everywhere" "I told you those were..." "Those are not from a fall" "WHAT DO YOU KNOW, HA?" he yelled "Remus..." "NO. YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY FATHER, OR MY FAMILY, OR ME" "But.." "Just stop talking nonsense" he stood up "leave me alone" "Remus" but he stormed out of the library.

I apologized to Remus. I promised not to say anything about his father anymore. But I still believed something was up. So when he said goodbye a few weeks later, I knew what I had to do. "Goodbye Remus" I said casually "Said hello to your mother from us" But when he closed the door I stood up. "We need to follow him" My dormmates looked at me. "What?" James asked looking away from his Quidditch magazine "To where?" "To wherever he goes" I said "Give me your cloak James" "Are you insane?" James asked "He went to see his mum" said Peter concerned "Like always" "We've talked about this mate" said James "No, no" I said impaciently "You don't understand. You didn't see them" "Saw what?" Peter asked "HIS SCARS" I yelled. Shit. The boys looked at me in shock. "Yes we know..." James began saying but I cut him off. "No, he has scars all over his body. Everytime new ones..." I swallowed "I think his father is hitting him. Maybe he is hitting his mum too". Peter opened his mouth. James was kind of angry. "What kind of father would do that?" he asked. Mine, I thought. "We'll have to follow him. Just to see if it's true" I said "But we'll get in so much trouble" said Peter "Sirius is right" said James opening his trunk "If this is true we need to save him. And punch that wanker in the face" I smiled at that. I loved my best friend. Peter seemed still shocked. "Get under my cloak" James said. And as we did we went to wonder the corridors to save Remus.

JAMES P.O.V I've never imagined something like that could happen. But as we wondered the corridors after Remus, Sirius told us everything he knew and it all made sense. I wish this was all a lie. If it wasn't I swore to myself I was going make everything to send that man to Azkaban. Nobody messes up with my friends. Specially Remus that turned out to be really funny and intelligent. He was so cool, I jugded him wrong.

Remus got to the Hospital Wing where Madam Pomfrey was waiting for him. "Are you ready handsome?" she said smiling "You know I never am" answered Remus. I could see he looked really pale and sick. And I got worried. "It's okay hon" she said and took Remus by the shoulder. We let Pomfrey and Remus get advantage. "What is Remus doing with Poppy?" asked Sirius. I agreed with him. This didn't look great. "She is a healer" Peter said "It's obvious that his mum is really sick. Maybe she went to help? Maybe we can get back?" "Shut up Pettigrew" I said "Flich could be around" I looked at Sirius who seemed very upset and concerned. I nodded, he did it as well. "Let's go" I said ignoring Peter.

We followed them being as quiet as possible. Eventhough we were under the cloak, they could've heared us. My heart was beating fast and I knew my friends' as well. We didn't want to know what we would find, but we had to. They stopped in front of the Whomping Willow. "What are they doing here?" I asked quietly "No idea" said Sirius "But how are they gonna get close? The Willow will crush them" said Peter "Shut up Peter" I said "You want them to hear you?" "I was just asking" "That is your problem, you ask too much"

Suddenly the Willow stopped moving and there was an opening, through which Pomfrey and Remus entered. We looked at each other puzzled. "How did she do that?" I asked "There's a knot on the trunk that makes it still" said Sirius "And honestly if you would stop fighting, you would've seen it as well" We stayed in silence for a while. I took the cloak off us. "I don't think anyone would see us now" "So what do we do now?" asked Peter Sirius was looking intrigued at the tree. "Go after them" "Thought the tunnel?" asked Peter scared "Well, we are not gonna see anything from here" responded Sirius "Where do you think it leads?" I asked now curious "Maybe to Remus' house?" suggested Peter We both looked at Peter. He could be dump sometimes. "Really, why would a passage at Hogwarts would lead to a student's house?" "Don't know!" Peter said "Maybe" said Sirius "We should go and find it out" he was annoyed and looking for something on the floor. "Right" I said "Peter press the knot" "What?" he said "The Willow would hit me" "It won't" "Will" "You're the shorter one" "You do it James"

"Lads! Lads! Shut up!" said Sirius "Got the solution" he got a big stick on his hand. "Right, or we could do that" I said Suddenly the hole on the trunk opened up and my heart raced. Shit. I picked the cloak and got us all in in time. Madam Pomfrey went out with tears in her eyes. "Poor boy, Merlin! What did he do to deserve it?" and she entered the castle. We all went pale. As she left, Sirius pressed the knot with the stick. The Willow stopped again. And we jumped into the unknown.

The first thing I noticed was darkness and too much cold. "Boys?" I said "Yeah" said Sirius "Here" said Peter Sirius casted Lumos and we could see we were on a tunnel. We swallowed. "I think I'm scared now" said Peter. You always are, I thought. "What is Remus doing here?" Sirius and I exchanged glances. We looked worried. Maybe his father brought him here. To Merlin knows what. But why was Madam Pomfrey helping? Suddenly we heard a sound. "What was that?" I said "Nothing" Sirius said "Come on lads, we are almost there" He started walking and we followed. Peter looked paIe and sick. Me? I loved adventures and mysteries. And I was going to fight with whoever was there. But I was really scared for Remus. What if something happened to him? Then we heard howls and grunts. "Okay, you cannot tell me that was nothing" I said "That sounded like a dog" said Peter not so pleased. "Maybe Remus is in danger" Sirius yelled "Let's go!" And he ran towards the sound. "Is he insane?" asked Peter looking at me. I smiled "Maybe a little" how I adored my best friend "Let's go" And we followed Sirius. While we run I thought of all the spells I had learned I could use. Those included Jellyjinks, Tallantalegra and Expeliarmus. I didn't thought those were useful. We got to where Sirius was. There was a door. He looked at me and I nodded preparing myself to fight, to save Remus. "Allohomora" he said and the door cracked open. And the next thing we saw changed my life forever. A big, actually enormous wolf stood in front of us. Growling. "Aaaaaaaaarrrrgggg" the three of us yelled. And we ran out of there as soon as we could.

If you ask me now, I couldn't even tell you how we got out of there alive. But as we got to the castle the last person we wanted to see was waiting for us. Filch, with Mrs. Norris on his arms. "Now, you are in so much trouble" he said grinning.

He took us to Dumbledore's office, where he was reading a knitting magazine. I couldn't even think straigth. So many feelings and thoughs were in my brain. So I didn't process the hole thing until Filch spoke. "Headmaster. I found these boys entering the castle. I saw them exit the Whomping Willow. At the full moon. Surely you will expell them. And the other boy" I saw my friends. Sirius had an unreadable expression. Peter seemed like he was going to vomit. Dumbledore finally looked up. "Thank you Argus" he said smiling "I'll handle it from here" Flich smiled at us evily. "You can go Argus" He grunted but left. As soon as he shut the door we exploded. "Dumbledore..." "Big wolf..." "We didn't mean to .." "We were worried..." "Don't expell us...." "What is happening?" We all talked at the same time. Dumbledore raised his hand and we shut up. "I guess you figured out everything by now" he said calmly. "So is true?" Sirius spoke. But I knew what he was going to ask "Is Remus Lupin a werewolf?"

PETER P.O.V Holy freaking macaronis!! I surely didn't expect this. Remus? A-werewolf?? When I came to Hogwarts didn't know my life would turn out this way, "Yes" answered Dumbledore "he is".

My eyes opened like plates. I looked at my friends but their expressions were not the same as mine. They were smiling at each other. "Wow" said Sirius "How did that happen?" "Why didn't he say anything to us?" James asked. I looked at them. How could they be so calmed? "I think that's something you should ask Mr. Lupin yourselves" Dumbledore said "Now my concerns rely in a very simple question: What were you doing out of bed and following Mr. Lupin?" He looked directly into our eyes. Damn we would surely be expelled this time.

We lowered our gaze. "Sorry' said Sirius finally "It was my fault"

"Well we followed you" said James. Seriously was he insane? He wanted us all to be expelled? But I sighed. "Yes we did" I said. Sirius smiled at us. "And why do you say that Mr. Black?"

Sirius sighed "I thought his father was hitting him" Dumbledore went very pale.

"I'm sorry' said Sirius. I thought he was about to cry "I just saw his scars and.."

"Well" interrupted Dumbledore "I have met Mr. and Mrs. Lupin and I can assure you they are good people"

Sirius nodded. We all were silent for a while. I didn't know what to think. I had to talk it through with my friends. I had so many questions. "Now, since you are quite good friends for Mr. Lupin, trust you treat him normally. And help him on what he needs" Dumbledore continued. James and Sirius nodded. I did it as well.

"And I'm not going to expel you since your intentions were pure, but you will recieve several detentions" he looked at us from above his glasses. "And I trust you will never do such thing again. It is extremely dangerous. You see, a werewolf doesn't recognize anyone on the full moon. He might hurt you"

I was shocked at his words. Hurt us? I swallowed. As we got back to our dorm none of us were tired to sleep. And my friends couldn't stop talking. They commented on how cool was to have Remus as friend. How cool it was that he was a werewolf. And what should we do to help him.

Me? | wasn't that happy. I just keep picturing the wolf big and furious and then I picturing Remus smiling and quiet reading a book.

"So do you think we should tell him that we know?" James asked.

"Yes of course we need to tell him we support him. That he should not lie anymore, don't you think?" answered Sirius.

"Yeah you are right" said James. I nodded. "Wicked when I first met Remus, I never thought he could be so interesting"

Sirius smiled "Now we have a secret that would bond us forever"

I couldn't sleep that night. I had so many nightmares with Remus, the werewolf attacking us. Blood everywhere. I used to have many nightmares when was little. Mum was always there to bake me some cookies or something. Now I was alone. I couldn't tell the boys, they would get angry. I stared Remus empty bed for the rest of the night.

The next morning we bearly went through classes. The three of us were really tired. But James and Sirius were excited. They couldn't wait to talk to Remus. I wasn't that much.

That afternoon Remus came into our dorm. Pale and sick as ever. But as usual he smiled at us. I didn't know why, the moment I saw him, all the memories from my nightmare came back to me.

"Hello boys" he said. Every word caused him trouble. James and Sirius exchanged glances smiling.

"How was your mum, Remus?" asked Sirius

"Am.." Remus sat on his bed "Yeah, perfect"

"Why do you look so pale Remus?" asked James

"I didn't sleep last night. Not quite" Remus answered kind of closing his eyes. I didn't understand. Weren't we going to tell him we knew?

James and Sirius started laughing. I slightly smiled.

Remus looked at us puzzled. "What is happening?"

"Remus we know" said James

"Good" said Remus "Know about about what?"

"You know" said Sirius smirking

"Your furry little problem" added James

"That you're a werewolf" I said quietly

Remus almost fell out of bed. "I'm sorry" he said with tears on his eyes

"For what Remus?" Sirius asked

"I'm a monster, I understand if you don't want to be my friends"

"What? No! Nonsense" said James "We don't mind"

"We don't care" said Sirius "Besides you fold your socks" he smiled "You're everything but a monster"

I didn't say anything. Did I care? But Remus was crying.

"Really?" he asked "You're not grossed out? Or scared?"

"No" James and Sirius protested

"And we won't tell anyone, we promise" added Sirius.

"Amm. my voice bearly came out "Can I ask you what happened? How did you become a..."

"A werewolf Pete" James said "You can say it, you know?"

I didn't answer I just went very red.

"Can we?"

"It's okay" said Remus "I was bitten by one when was four"

"Four?" asked Sirius shocked

Remus nodded "Who did it?"

"I don't know" he said "Dad said it was a random attack"

"Does it hurt?' asked Sirius carefully

"Only when I transform" Remus answered "And sometimes after"

We all looked at each other

"Do you remember anything?" asked James

"Just pieces, but mostly no"

Suddenly I felt a knot on my throat. I saw Remus sick and broken. And thought how much Remus had gone through. It wasn't his fault. Was it? And I felt guilty for thinking badly about Remus. He was my friend. Tears rolled down on my cheeks.

"Are you crying Peter?" asked James

"No" I lied wiping out my tears.

Remus smiled at me.

"Thank you boys" said Remus with his eyes sparkling. "You are really good friends"

"Aaah" said Sirius embracing Remus "Come here sweet boy"

"I love you guys" said James joining the hug

"I love you too" I said joining the hug

And it was true. I adored this assholes so much. Even Remus. And I wasn't scared of him anymore.

"Maybe we should get a cool name for our gang" said James suddenly. And we all laughed. Everything was fine.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Some Sense of Normalcy ch.2 (baon)

Summary: It’s Edge’s first day back to work at the Embassy, but his job isn’t the only thing on his mind.

Tags:  Spicyhoney, Kustard, Established Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Past Injury

Chapter 1 | 

~~*~~

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

Read Chapter 2 on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

Stretch kept watch out the front window, waiting for Edge to drive off with Red at the wheel of his car and wasn’t that a question he didn’t have time to find out the answer. Then he went back upstairs to get dressed; he had places to be and of course today would be the morning that Edge decided to let his ridged adherence to his schedule slip.

It was pretty damned hard to nudge Edge out the door without making him suspicious, since all previous evidence pointed to Stretch trying to keep him in bed as long as possible and now that he was finally gone, Stretch needed to double-time it.

He hadn't lied about the video conference with his therapist, but that wasn't until this afternoon and there was something to look forward to. He had a love/hate thing going with Doc Lee, loved that she could help him collect all his thoughts back into the right baskets and get 'em back in order, hated that he had to actually talk about why they were scattered to begin with to get there.

In the meantime, he yanked on the first pair of pants and sweatshirt he found in his side of the closet. He was headed back downstairs, socks in hand, when the doorbell rang.

Stretch opened the door, leaning awkwardly on the jamb as he reached down to pull on his socks. "hey, andy."

“Morning,” Jeff said with a smile. He was dressed for work and Jeff’s style was a little less posh than Edge went for. No suit coat and his button-up shirt was a deep blue with a scattered floral pattern and a sort of long, gauzy white vest hanging open over the works. He looked good and Stretch didn’t mind telling him so.

“good thing i’m a math genius, your clothes are looking pretty acute there.”

Faint pink rose in Jeff’s cheeks. The kid didn’t take a compliment well, it was a work in progress. But he sure as heck proved his pun skills were up to par. “Thanks for going at the right angle so I don’t have to be obtuse about it. Are you ready to head out?”

“give me two minutes to feed the chickens and we can hit it.”

Stretch headed into the backyard, Jeff at his heels. Jeff stayed out of the coop in deference to his nice shoes and only watched as Stretch let the chickens out, scooping feed into their trough. Nugget came out of the coop last, not the normal order of things, gobbling her food with record speed. Probably wanted to book it back inside to her weird nest and that was another mystery on Stretch’s list. It’d keep for a day or two, and Stretch would take a dozen peculiar eggs, carton and all, to have her back home. He gave her a light pat, didn’t even mind when his affection was ignored in favor of the eats.

Meanwhile, Jeff wandered over to the freshly planted garden beds, peering down at the tiny points of green poking out. "So, do I get to hear why you didn't hitch a ride in with Edge?"

See, that was the problem with Jeff being pals with Edge; it made him concerned for Edge’s welfare and feelings and stuff. That was some double-sided sticky tape, ‘cause Stretch wanted Jeff to like Edge but not enough that he’d tattle. "that would be because he'd interrogate me about what i was doing."

"And you think I won't?"

"nah, you will, but you're more lucky to fall for the eyes." Stretch turned to him, feed bucket still in hand, and gave him the very best doe-eyed, pathetic look in his collection.

"okay, that is pretty effective,” Jeff admitted, “But, somehow, I don't think you're planning a surprise party. So, I have to ask, is what you're doing going to make Edge mad and that's why you're going behind his back?"

"nope." Probably not, anyway.

Jeff gave Stretch a scrutinizing look that would give Sans a run for his money. Well, maybe a leisurely stroll. “All right,” he said at last, “If I don’t take you to the Embassy, you’ll just take the bus, anyway. But if something is actually wrong or you need real help that isn’t solved by a quick lift, you tell me. Deal?”

“deal,” Stretch hesitated and added, “i promise.” Fuck it, Andy was his best friend, if he couldn’t confess to him at least a little, then he might as well start rethinking the title.

Stretch never really gave Jeff a rundown about how he felt about promises, but stood to reason that someone did. His expression softened into a lopsided smile and he jerked his head towards the house. “Then let’s get going before I’m late. Catty is a good boss but the last person in has to get coffee for everyone for the rest of the day.”

The ladies were still chowing down and Stretch left them to it, though he did double and then triple check that the gate was shut tight. Not that he’d ever accidentally left it open, but he was pretty resigned to being stupid about his chicks for a little while yet.

Jeff’s car was a sporty little compact with a surprising amount of legroom in the front seats and there was zero doubt in Stretch’s mind that Edge was the one who chose it with that feature in mind, along with every safety feature package that they could cram in without popping a seam. He didn’t wait for the seat belt speech, already buckling up, and they were off.

Crawling through the streets of New New Home to the security checkpoint and once they were through the gate, Jeff turned things up a notch. His cautious driving was only about a step down from Edge’s, but unlike Edge, Jeff didn’t say a peep when Stretch rolled down the window and let his arm dangle out, relishing the cool wind on his bony fingers.

Nice to be able to relax and enjoy the breeze. Edge would’ve bitched at him and he knew from experience that Blue would stop the car and refuse to move until he rolled the window back up, citing statistics about Humans losing limbs and heads all the while.

Yeah, okay, today wasn’t a good day to think about anyone losing their head. Stretch pulled his arm back in and let it sit more sedately on the window ledge. He could feel Jeff giving him a look, but he didn’t say anything, didn’t ask or probe or scold and that was why he was an awesome friend. Even if a couple times he’d asked about things Stretch didn’t like to think about, things from the past, from Underswap—

The sound of the wind through the opened window suddenly sounded a little too much like a brewing storm in Snowdin, the way they often swirled up across the narrow path that led to Waterfall. Dredged up memories that Stretch usually kept packed away, neat and tidy in a box of ‘past is past’. His head really wasn’t on straight today and—

Stop it, STOP IT—

“how’s things at the embassy?” Stretch asked abruptly. He yanked his arm inside and rolled the window up entirely, sealing out the blowing wind. Jeff didn’t seem perturbed about the sudden break in the silence.

“Great. Busy.” Jeff kept his eyes on the road, but his smile was honest and wide, “I know you’re going to put me off for saying this, but I seriously could never thank you guys enough for getting me this job.”

Stretch shrugged. “i didn’t have anything to do with it. i have less pull at the embassy than hussain, and i’ve heard what he did with the cafeteria.”

“The food is great,” Jeff agreed, “especially the falafel.” His quick side eye said a lot about how much he believed the rest of it.

It wasn’t that Stretch minded the gratitude, but it really wasn’t necessary. Yeah, sure, being his pal probably got Jeff’s foot through the door. That wouldn’t make Edge give Jeff a job that he couldn’t do or that he wouldn’t be suited for. Strategy was what Edge did, and if he thought Jeff would be great for Public Relations, Stretch was a hundred-and-nine percent sure he was right.

“anything i had to do with it was strictly by association,” Stretch told him, “you’re probably more lucky being my pal didn’t put them off, but eh, if they haven’t ditched edge, i doubt you’ll be in line.”

“I think if they fired Edge, half the Embassy would grab their staplers and follow him out the door,” Jeff snorted, “Speaking of lines, you want to stop for a coffee on our way?”

Seriously, best pals forever, “lead on, macduff, i’ll follow you anywhere.”

Jeff laughed even as he turned into the lot for the Beanery and headed for the drive-thru.

Jeff dropped Stretch off at the Embassy entrance before he went to park his car. Which was fine, he knew where he was going, and he didn’t need Jeff to hold his hand along the way.

The security guard only gave him a disinterested look as he swiped his rarely-used keycard and headed for the elevator. Not the normal elevators, the ones that led to the offices upstairs that Humans and Monsters used all day long, where you could press any button and be off.

No, the elevator to the labs was around the corner from those and needed a keycard just to open the doors, another swipe of the card with a password to activate it. Not all Monsters had access to all the labs, and their cards would only take them as far down as their security clearance allowed.

Stretch’s card would take him to any of the labs. All he had to do was swipe it.

He stood in front of the elevator, the card gripped too-tight in the clench of his fingers, staring at the closed doors.

When he’d texted Alphys yesterday, she’d been perfectly happy to meet with him, but said she couldn’t get away from the labs right now, so he’d have to come here. He’d assured her that it was fine and yesterday, it was. It’d been a relief, even.

Somehow while he’d been lying in bed the day before, lost in the tangle of his thoughts, the idea of his HP dropping again got hooked into his head. He couldn't stop thinking about it, none of his distraction techniques were working, his focus was fucking shot. All the clues that he might be having HP trouble were banging on the door, demanding to be let into his mind.

Like the fact that the lower his HP got, the wearier he was and just lately, he'd been feeling awfully damned tired. He'd gotten used to his HP being at five and the extra slice of energy that came with that. Falling asleep at random times in even more random places was becoming the exception rather than the norm and he fucking well liked it that way.

Last time Alphys checked him over, his HP was back on the rise, but it’d been a while. Lately, he'd been smoking way too much, using up a lot of magic healing, and he’d been so, so tired. He wasn’t the puzzle-fiend that his bro and Edge were, but even he could do one that only had a couple pieces.

Yesterday, Alphys’s assurances that he could stop in had been a relief, enough to make that worry back off a little and let him go back to his sour ball of grief over Nugget. Now that mourning was off the table, the reports of her death greatly exaggerated, here came his ghostly HP worries, trundling back in to for another go at haunting the inside of his skull.

After dinner, he’d gone upstairs to take a shower and stood there, looking at himself in the mirror. All it would’ve take was a quick Check, only a few seconds, and his stats would have spilled out right in front of his eye lights, letting him know exactly the state of his HP. Just a quick check and if everything looked good, he could tell Alphys never mind, he could stay home and take a day, not curled up on the bed but on the sofa, maybe, day-binging Netflix. Or outside, watching the chickens roam the yard, maybe see if Nugget would let him get a picture of that mystery egg she was so protective of.

Would’ve only taken a quick Check and Stretch just…couldn't. The magic was sitting there ready to be used and he couldn’t make himself pull the trigger on doing it. He couldn't do it and he sure as fuck wasn’t going to ask Edge. Like Edge needed any other problems on his radar? Not a chance.

So that cemented the plan right there. He was gonna go downtown and see what the deal was, and if it was bad, he would tell Edge. No secrets, not this time, no trying to hide this shit. Edge was going to have to deal with whatever fallout came down the line from his HP dropping, so may as well give him as much prep time as he could.

All he had to do was open the elevator door.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

Stretch startled so badly the world blurred around him in an aborted shortcut. The mostly empty coffee cup in his hands slipped though his fingers, spilling out a few creamy droplets when it hit the floor.

Jeff only went to the nearby cleaning station to grab a paper towel, crouching down to wipe up the mess while Stretch tried to remember how to breathe normally.

Finally, he blurted out, “you scared the shit out of me, andy!”

“I noticed and it’s extra impressive considering you don’t shit,” Jeff said. He tossed the cup and dirty paper towel into the trash can. “And you didn’t answer me. Do you want me to come with you?”

Stretch laughed unsteadily, “you don’t even know where i’m going.”

“I don’t,” Jeff agree. “What I do know is that leads to the labs downstairs. And I know you have trouble with labs sometimes, even your own. So. Do you need me to come with you?”

Jeff’s gaze was steady, calm, and beneath it was that warm gentleness, the compassion on his face as obvious as the soft green of his soul. It was hard to resist the urge to grab onto him and drag him downstairs, fuck all the security protocols, but that would be plowing over all kinds of boundaries and Stretch wouldn’t be the only one getting in trouble over it. He wasn’t about to damage anyone at the Embassy’s trust in Jeff over his own stupid issues.

“nah,” Stretch forced a smile, “you need to get upstairs before you’re the designated coffee runner for the day.” Then, when Jeff didn’t move, he said, more seriously, “but you can hit the button for me. if you want.”

Jeff stepped up but instead of pushing the button, he wrapped both arms around Stretch’s rib cage and hugged him tightly. All of Stretch’s good intentions snapped like the elastic in an old pair of undershorts; all he could do is lean down and hug Jeff back, his slim body giving in a way that bone simply couldn’t. Jeff was softer and squishy and so very Human, the best part of humanity.

If anyone came down towards the elevators, Stretch might’ve let go sooner. As it was, they stood there an embarrassingly long time for whatever security cameras were probably watching. Jeff didn’t let up an inch, held tight and let Stretch be the one to step back first.

Stretch shook his arms out, gave himself a full body shake. He could do this.

“okay, i’m heading down,” Stretch said firmly. He pushed his card into the key slot. “hit it.”

Jeff did and the elevator door slid open smoothly. Stretch stepped inside and the doors were closing almost before he could turn around.

“You can text me whenever you’re done!” Jeff called through the narrowing opening. The door closed completely before Stretch could reply but that was okay, Jeff would know his answer without him saying a thing.

He pushed his keycard into the control panel slot and tapped in his password; the calendar numbers of his wedding anniversary used in a linear equation. The elevator lurched hard enough to unsettle his non-existent stomach and started downward.

No big deal, Stretch told himself, struggling to pull his keycard back out with sweat-slick fingers. He rubbed them impatiently on his pants and tried again, and this time the card came free, just as the elevator doors opened into the gleaming stainless steel and glass of the labs, all clean sterile lines, nothing at all like his own cluttered workspace. But it was all fine, he wouldn’t even be in the lab long, Alphys always took him right to her office.

Right on in and she could do all her tests, let him know the state of his body and soul, that was it, yep.

No big deal at all.

tbc

[lov3nerdstuff]

Dark Stars {Part 7}

*Loki x OFC*

Part: 7/10

Words: 4.9k

Warnings: none, for once

Summary: ~Loki could just let her die here and now. His problems would be solved and he could go back to his usual ways. But then he would forever be left with an unsolved mystery and he hated the prospect of that even more than the fear of what would happen if she lived.~

A story of what happens when Loki stumbles upon someone who is like him in every way. Only better. Oh, and they just happen save Asgard too.

A.N.: To celebrate over 1000 people following me (how insane is that?!), I decided to share the newly edited version of the very first Loki fanfiction I ever wrote! Enjoy the mischief 💚

All Parts can be found on my Masterlist!

______________________________

It was still dark when she found herself standing on one of the palace's balconies. Quietly, she walked through the open window into the dark room, and straight towards the sleeping figure on the bed. Before she could say a single word however, a hand with a knife shot up from the bed, aiming for her throat. Yet, it went right through her body, the illusion only weavering slightly under the brutal attack. She inwardly thanked herself for remembering this trick from Loki's memories.

The man jumped out of the bed, looking at the illusion in confusion.

"Loki?!" He asked quietly.

"Hello Thor." Ivy said gently, letting the illusion slip and now stepping into the open room herself.

"Who are you? What do you want?" He asked immediately, reaching for his hammer.

"Please, I mean no harm to you. I came here seeking help." She answered calmly, trying to put up her best facade. "My name is Ivy. I'm Loki's… friend."

"My brother has no friends." Thor answered, staring at Ivy from a few feet away, taking in every detail about her in the deepest suspicion. "Why do you wear his shirt?"

"Look, we really don't have time for this right now. Loki is dying and I need your help"

"What? Where is he?" He frowned, concerned but still watchful. "And why should I believe you in the first place?"

"He's safe. Far away from here..." She answered, searching for Thor's eyes in the dark. "And you will have to trust me for a second and come here."

Ivy held out her hand to him, palm facing upwards. She was prepared for this. She had known she needed proof.

"What are you doing?" Thor asked a little warily as Ivy stepped towards him. He rose his weapon, ready to defend himself, but before he could hit her, Ivy had placed her hand on his chest.

In an instant, Thor saw images of his own childhood. Memories of him and Loki, causing mayhem around the palace. Images of their mother, their father and their friends. Little moments of his past he had long forgotten about. He smiled at the sighed, but before he could really grasp any of the memories, they were gone again.

"How did you do that?" He asked quietly, letting his arms drop to his side. Somehow he was very certain of the fact now that she wasn't a threat to him, and most likely telling the truth even.

"Loki showed me. And now I show you, because you know your brother well and you know that he would not share these memories with me if he didn't trust me."

Thor nodded. She had a point there; Loki didn't open up to anyone. Ever. The girl in front of him must truly be special to his brother if he allowed her into his head. But that also meant that she spoke the utmost truth, that Loki was dying. For real this time.

"How can I help?" He finally asked, and Ivy went on to explain her plan.

"We're looking for a book Loki has read." She started, and Thor let out a groan, rolling his eyes.

"He has probably read every single book in the whole palace. Twice."

"We're looking for a very specific book, from Midgard." Ivy ignored his pessimism. "It should be in his room, but it would take me ages to find."

"Yeah, he has hundreds of books in there."

"And that's why I need your help. We need to find that damn book as fast as possible, or there won't be any helping him anymore."

"You can help him with a book from Midgard…? Why didn't you just ask him what's in the book?" Thor questioned, earning himself an eye-roll from Ivy. Geez, she got now why Loki was constantly annoyed with Thor. He wasn't really the smartest hen in the pen.

"We must go now." She simply stated, grabbing Thor's wrist and bringing them into Loki's room.

"Wow, how did you do that!?" He asked in bewilderment, looking around himself frantically before he realized where he was.

"It's called magic, Thor… honestly, didn't you pay any attention to your brother?" She huffed, starting to dig through the books immediately.

"Uuhhh, I have an idea! Wait here!" Thor said excitedly and hurried out of the room before Ivy could complain. If he was getting the guards, Ivy would totally stab him. Wow. That was so very Loki… She smiled sadly to herself.

Loki owned all kinds of books, but nothing about plants would surface even from the dustiest of corners. A few minutes later, Ivy heard voices outside Loki's bedroom.

"Is she the girl who killed the guards in the forest?" A man asked.

"And who almost killed another dozen in the city?" Another added.

"And she stole my clothes." The woman's voice Ivy recognized.

"You do realize I can hear you, right?" Ivy said loudly, though not taking her eyes off the books. "You can just as well talk about me once you're in here, searching."

The door opened and Thor entered, behind him following three men and the lady Loki had called Sif.

"Ivy, these are my friends." Thor introduced awkwardly. "Guys, this is Ivy. She's with Loki!"

Ivy turned around for a second, flashing a badly feigned smile. "Great. Now search, will you?"

Thor rolled his eyes but started picking up books to identify their content, motioning for his friends to do the same.

"Geez, she is just as ill-humored as Loki himself." One of the men said under his breath, and Ivy could also feel the other three staring holes into her back. Only Thor seemed rather at ease now, with his friends around.

"You can talk to me, you know.." Ivy finally said, having enough of the silent judgement thrown at her.

"Why did you kill the guards in the forest?" One man asked immediately, not even bothering to pretend he wasn't curious. He was huge, all muscles and good nutrition, and had red hair and a thick beard.

"Because I felt like it. " She answered sarcastically and rolled her eyes to herself, but then decided for honesty. "They were chasing me. I had done no harm, and I was merely walking through the woods when they attacked me. Probably out of boredom, or the desire for my body… who knows. One stabbed me in the shoulder without reason and I felt the need to defend myself."

Silence followed for a while. Then the same man spoke up again. "But why would they just attack you if you hadn't done anything?"

"I can hardly ask them now, can I? They are your guards, not mine." She answered coldly.

"She really is so much like Loki, it's disgusting…" Sif grumbled.

"Why thank you!" Ivy responded in an exaggeratedly high pitched voice, laced with feigned happiness.

"That was no compliment." Sighed Sif, throwing a book into the nearest corner of the room.

"Why do you help me then, if you despise Loki so much?" Ivy asked out of honest interest for once, while she quickly flipped through a huge book with a blank cover.

"We are helping Thor, not Loki. Because he is our prince, and our friend." Another man with blonde hair answered. The other three made noises of agreement.

"And I help you because you care about my brother as much as I do." Thor finally said. "And to be honest with you, I never quite understood why Loki was arrested with you in the first place. I mean, you killed our people… But he didn't help you with that, did he?"

Ivy sighed, growing more nervous by the second as still no one had found the book she was looking for. "No, he had nothing to do with that. He only healed me when I was dying from poison."

"There have been quite many incidents of poisoning in the city, and also around the palace, actually…" The man with the fuzzy beard answered. "I just overheard a few guards talk about it today. They think it's mere coincidence, and they don't know what kind of poison is used anyway, as everyone who has died of it wasn't worth an autopsy."

"What? Why has no one told me about this?!" Thor's voice thundered through the room and Ivy actually flinched at the sudden loudness.

"They think they can get it under control before anyone important gets hurt." Beard guy said quietly, obviously feeling ashamed for not sharing this piece of information any sooner.

"Is that what happened to Loki?" Thor asked, concern filling his voice now. Ivy didn't answer, but simply nodded. Not that those idiots would consider him an important person anyway… But to Ivy, Loki was important. Maybe to Thor as well. There was no time discussing this right now.

"Hey, I found something! It has pictures of plants in it, but I can't read what the cover says…" Blonde guy finally said, and Ivy brought herself across the room to stand directly in front of him in an instant, harshly grabbing the book from his hands, and thus making him take a step backwards.

"Wow, she's hot and knows how to handle herself…" Blonde guy remarked, rising his eyebrows, but Ivy was too busy finding the right page to care about him.

"At least she's not stabbing anyone." Beard guy sighed.

"Not yet anyway..." Blonde guy smirked. "Maybe I'll stab her with something entirely different tonight…"

Without as much as looking up from the book, Ivy threw a heavy punch at his face, causing his nose to bleed like mad. Sif only snorted at him from a few feet away, as did Thor.

"Here, I found the plant!" Ivy stated. "Atropa Belladonna…"

"What? Is that what poisoned Loki, seriously?" Blonde guy asked through his hand, with which he was still holding his bleeding nose.

"Here it says that one has to get something called 'carbo medicinalis' and dissolve it in water, then get the poisoned person to drink it." She summarized. "Brilliant! Now I only need to find some."

"Carbo what?" Thor asked with a deep frown, looking to Ivy for an explanation.

"That's activated charcoal. It binds the toxins and prevents them from killing a person." Ivy responded quickly and in easy words for them to understand, turning to Thor as well. "Do you have something like that here?"

"We can go to the healers, they will know." He said with a shrug, and then hurried out of the room with Ivy following closely behind, shoving the book into her bag quickly.

"Should we come along?" Beard guy asked after a while of silence.

"Yes!" Blonde guy said. "I need to get my nose checked!"

Sif only rolled her eyes at him and they went to follow the other two.

"We need carbo… medi… midi…" Thor tried once he and Ivy came storming into the healer's rooms.

"Carbo medicinalis." Ivy quickly said, turning to the surprised woman in front of them. "Charcoal."

"Well, what…" She tried, but Ivy cut her off by stepping right in front her, giving her a death glare. "There's no time for interrogations, do you have it or not?"

The poor healer looked to Thor for help, but he didn't make any move to stop this mad raven woman from threatening her with her glares.

"We… There must be some with the substances from other realms." She said and quickly scurried towards a cupboard in the far back of the room.

Meanwhile Ivy grabbed a cup and shoved it into her bag, before she followed the healer.

"How much do you need?" The healer asked quietly.

"Everything you have." Ivy answered quickly and took the palm-sized bundle from the healer, then turning to Thor once more, as he stood helplessly in the middle of the room.

"Tell your father about the incidents in the city. And tell him I'm going to deal with it, as his guards are obviously unable to do so." Without waiting for an answer, Ivy disappeared just in the same moment when Sif and the others entered the room.

"You just let her go?!" Sif asked incredulously.

"She will save Loki. Of course I let her go!" Thor returned with a deep frown.

"If she hurts people again, you will know whose fault it is."

_______________

Once back at the opening, Ivy quickly filled the cup with water and dissolved the black powder in it. Now she only needed to get him to drink it… Only…

Hurriedly, she knelt down next to him, checking once more if his heart was still beating before she sat him up against her own frame and rather roughly forced the black liquid down his throat. Then, she waited. After a while his body got rather heavy, resting against her own with his full weight, and she leaned back against the stone wall behind her for support while moving Loki's head to lay in her lap. Hopefully this was going to work…

After a little while of inner debate, she carefully pushed Loki's hair out of his face, gently brushing through it with her fingers. He most certainly would never allow this if he was awake, but after all the trouble, she needed a little comfort and this was just able to do it for her. A few moments later, her eyes fluttered shut and she fell into a restless, but much needed sleep.

"Ivy." She heard her name, but her mind wasn't quite there yet.

"Ivy." It echoed through her head once more, louder this time, and she started to wake up. "IVY!"

She startled awake, looking into concerned green eyes shortly above her. She needed a second, but then, without thinking, she threw herself at Loki, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. The impact caused him to lose his balance, and he fell onto his back with a loud thud. Luckily, he had only been kneeling above her.

Despite the short fall, Ivy refused to let go and buried her face in his neck.

"Well, ouch…" He commented quietly, but unable to hide a slight touch of amusement from his voice as finally he also wrapped his arms around her waist, and held her tightly against him.

For the longest while, neither dared to say another word, afraid to break the precious moment between them. The sun was already rising, bringing light to the little opening.

"You did it." Loki finally said, his head leaned against hers. He could feel her hot breath brushing against his neck, and her heartbeat echoing in his chest. "You used you magic to save someone."

He felt her stiffen in his arms, before she lifted her head up just enough to look at him.

"Yeah, no." She said quietly, looking almost sad, before she lifted herself off him, sitting back against the stone wall. Loki immediately missed her warmth and the comfort of her body against his, but he mimicked her actions, sitting down next to her.

"I didn't use magic." She finally said, and it only came out as a whisper. "I couldn't do it." Her face fell in disappointment with herself.

"But you saved me nonetheless, which makes it even more impressive." He smiled at her as reassuringly as he could... She really shouldn't feel bad for doing something good and selfless.

"I had help." She stated calmly, but avoided his eyes. "From your brother."

"You asked THOR for help, out of all people?" Loki looked at her incredulously. "How could he have been of any help?"

Ivy let out a snort. "To be honest, I now totally understand your desire to stab the man. And all the eye-rolling… He is very special." She laughed to herself. "But he loves you dearly, he really does."

"I know." Loki sighed. "But that's his own fault!" He chuckled and watched Ivy from the corner of his eye. She seemed exhausted… But he was curious now.

"So, how was he of any help to you? And how did you get him to help in the first place? He's not really easy to argue with…" He asked curiously, his face now fully turned to her.

"Well, he tried to cut my throat while still sleeping, I assume…" Ivy laughed lightly, but continued as she saw Loki's jaw clench. "He didn't hurt me! I did that thing you do with him, you know, the illusion."

That brought a smile to Loki's face. "Oh really? How did you know you needed to do that?"

"Well, it's not quite that different to the illusions I usually do. It wasn't very difficult, but a very clever idea." She sighed and brought her knees up to her chest, enjoying the warmth of Loki's side resting against her own. "Well, then I showed him some of the memories you shared with me. And before you kill me, I only showed him memories the two of you shared in your childhood. No feelings, nothing that came after. It served to assure him that you trust me, since you showed your memories to me."

"I trust you more than anyone." He stated as a matter of fact, eyeing her curiously.

"Yeah, and that got him to help me. And the fact that he didn't want you to die." She winked at him and smiled. "He also got a few of his friends to help us. They were not quite happy with the fact that they helped to prevent your death, but they probably helped for Thor's sake."

Loki rolled his eyes. Of course they wouldn't help Ivy for her own sake. "Were they rude to you?"

"Yeah, actually. But I could very well ignore that after I punched the blond man in the face." She smiled to herself at the memory, looking down at her bruised knuckles. There hadn't been any time to heal it yet.

"May I?" Loki asked and gently took her wounded hand in his. In less than a minute, it was perfectly healed and the pain was gone.

"I could've done that myself, you know…" Ivy smiled at him.

"I know." He replied, smiling back just the same. Her hand remained in his though.

"So, why did you punch Fandral in the face?" He asked with amusement, even though he was quite sure to know the answer to that already.

"He said he wanted to stab me." Ivy said equally amused, making sure to remember the name Loki had just given blonde guy.

Loki frowned, having expected a different answer. "Literally?"

"Nah… He probably just wanted to have his own ways with me, in his bed." She laughed. It was something she had gotten quite used to, men trying to get her into their beds… It still disgusted her, but it didn't really surprise nor frighten her anymore. The guards in the city had been an exception, as they had insulted Loki. She couldn't possibly have let that slip.

Loki's face on the other hand fell at her words. "He shouldn't have done that." His voice was low and almost had a dangerous touch to it now. "No one shall speak about you like that. You're mine and mine alone."

"You're being quite possessive over someone you hated just a few days back." Ivy chuckled, but on the inside she felt as though lightning had struck her to the very core. Her heart beat too fast against her chest, her skin tingled as if electrified, and a hot and yet cold shiver ran down her back.

"I've never hated you, Ivy…" He said in a quiet voice that was equally husky as it was deep. "I only hated myself for liking you."

His voice did inexplicable things to her, and Ivy had to fight for her eyes to stay open and locked with his. "You like me?"

"More than I should."

"How much more?"

He only shook his head to himself and smiled for a moment, looking down to the ground. "A lot more."

"Oh." She breathed, unsure of whether she had made him uncomfortable by her inquiry or simply amused him.

But then he looked up into her eyes once more, and Ivy could see everything he could not say out loud. She didn't know whether it was because he was afraid of it, or because he just didn't know how, but if he wasn't going to do something about it, then she would have to do it herself. So she looked back into his eyes with everything she felt but couldn't properly express, with every emotion, every ounce of doubt and every spark of hope. They stayed like that for a while, drinking in the other's emotions until everything was said, without as much as a word.

"How did you do that?" He finally asked, his brows furrowing.

"How did I do what?" Ivy asked, seemingly just as confused just as him.

"I could hear your thoughts in my mind." He leaned his head to the side and a slow smile played on his lips. "I'm very flattered by the way."

Now, this was one of the rare occasions when Ivy felt the heat rise to her cheeks, and she indeed blushed furiously.

"Don't be embarrassed, my sweet." He whispered, as he gently pushed her hair from her shoulder and leaned so close that his lips were brushing against Ivy's neck. "I feel just the same about you." Then he pressed a small kiss to the sensitive spot where Ivy's neck connected with her shoulder, making her shudder pleasantly.

Ivy only blushed even more as she felt the goosebumps run all over her skin… She hadn't known that a simple and oh so gentle kiss could set her whole body on fire and make her long for more. So much more…

"Ivy?" Loki's voice snapped her out of her daydream and back into reality. He was sitting so close to her, her shoulder touched his arm and their thighs were only an inch apart, which she immediately closed before she could stop herself. But she wanted to feel more of his body against hers.

"How did you do that?" He asked once more, eyes locking with hers. "How did you speak to me in my mind?"

"I didn't know I was doing that…" She answered honestly, still a little dazed from the rather titillating thoughts she had let herself indulge in for the shortest moment.

Loki frowned, placing his hand on her knee and drawing circles with his thumb. He enjoyed touching her, not only because it made her all flustered, but also because he could be sure that she was still there with him, alive and well. Now that he had let himself get this attached to someone, he was not going to lose her. He would make sure of that.

In the shortest time, she had become his anchor, the focus point his universe orbited around, the one thing he couldn't live without. The suddenness of his feelings for her scared him, but he also couldn't bring himself to really care, nor to fight it anymore. He wasn't one to fall easily, but if he did fall, he did with everything he had.

"Maybe I could try again? You know, to talk to you without words?" Now it was Ivy's turn to pull him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, do that…" He answered, still caressing her knee. "I'm curious."

Ivy closed her eyes and tried to think of something to say. She let her mind wander to what she had done before, how she had gotten into his mind.

'I enjoy that.' Her voice echoed through his mind.

"You enjoy what?" He asked with a smirk, making Ivy look at him.

"It worked?!" She smiled brightly, her eyes shining with excitement. "I meant I... enjoyed trying this mind thing."

"Are you sure?" He murmured, letting his hand wander from her knee to her inner thigh, drawing lazy lines so softly it annoyed her.

A small sigh escaped her lips and her head fell back against the stone wall behind her. Loki relished the sight, a small smirk playing on his lips as he couldn't stop teasing her.

"Stop that…" She breathed, 'Don't stop.' Her mind responded and Loki couldn't help himself but laugh out loud.

Ivy sat up straight immediately, and frowned at him in the cutest embarrassment. "Stop laughing!"

"But it's adorable to see you try to resist your own mind." He grinned at her.

"It would surprise me if you did any better!" She replied, but decided to validate it at a different time. Instead she scooted a few feet away from him, earning a small noise of disapproval which made her smirk even more.

She retrieved the book of plants from her bag and threw it over to Loki who caught it with one hand and flipped it open with a smile. "That's how you saved me?"

"Yup…" Ivy answered, making a popping noise on the 'p' before she sat down cross-legged, facing Loki this time. That way they could have a serious conversation without getting distracted yet again.

"We searched for that damn book forever. Took six people to find it in time." Ivy explained.

"I hate that I'll have to thank them for helping you…" Loki sighed.

"I wouldn't thank them if I were you. They kept complaining about me, about something that's yours…" Ivy grinned, earning an eye-roll from Loki.

"What did they say?" He asked curiously though.

"Oh, just how much I reminded them of you, and how utterly and terribly that disgusted them." Ivy laughed, remembering their annoyed faces.

"I would've assumed it was a compliment."

"So did I!" They both laughed, shaking their heads at the bunch of people who once were Loki's friends.

Then, Ivy remembered what beard guy had said. "Loki, the man with the huge beard…"

"Volstagg." Loki commented in between.

"Well, Volstagg said that there have been quite a few incidents of poisoning in the city. They can't figure out who does it, nor how to help the victims, since they seem to be unable to identify the poison in the first place."

Loki averted his eyes, but listened carefully to every word Ivy was saying.

"They think it's coincidence, but I came to believe otherwise. I mean, we both have been unlucky enough to be poisoned, and both times they used Midgardian plants!" Ivy said with an odd excitement in her voice, clearly engrossed in her thoughts. "How could there possibly be such a coincidence? It's a different plant every time and the poison is spread randomly around the city. I mean, at first I thought it was only an attack on the royal family. A one-time thing I happened to stumble into. But then, with all the other incidents… I mean I'm not the kind of person who is selfless enough to save the people of Asgard from poisoning just because it's the right thing to do."

That statement made Loki snort, but Ivy continued anyway.

"I want to stop the person who does this. I have to. Not because it's the right thing to do, but because they hurt you." She said and nudged his leg with hers.

"I…" Loki started with a small smile, touched by her words. "You can't possibly punish everyone who ever hurt me."

"But I can try nonetheless. And I most definitely will." She smiled brightly at him, nudging his leg yet again.

"They also poisoned you, does that mean I also have to end them?" He asked with a small laugh, amused by her eagerness to do 'the right thing'.

"Of course! I'm surprised you haven't come up with that before." Ivy grinned and once more nudged his leg.

"If you do that just one more time, I will have to stop you… and you won't enjoy that." He growled, but something in his voice told her that she would indeed enjoy it very much. But now wasn't the time to find out. Unfortunately.

"I have thought of ending the person who did that to you every second since I first got word that you were hurt in my prison cell." He said calmly, yet without the previous flirtatious undertone.

"Your cell?" Ivy questioned.

"Yes, my cell. It's where they lock me up every time they feel like it. The barrier is slightly different than the other cells. The magic, you know…" He trailed off. "It's not of much importance. But yes indeed, I have had the thought quite a lot. Only that until now, there was no indication as for where to look."

"Great. Let's go." Ivy said and nudged him in the leg once more, just to annoy him. Then she got up and turned her back to him, slowly walking towards the middle of the opening. She could hear him getting up as well, his quiet footsteps following closely behind her. Once she stopped in the middle of the opening, he was right behind her the next second.

"I told you not to do that." He whispered in her ear, leaning close to her from behind.

"And I never said I wouldn't." Ivy smirked, preparing herself for whatever was about to happen. But for what happened next, she was not prepared at all.

_____________________________

Tags:

@vodka-and-some-sass @t-sunnyside @lokis-high-priestess

General Tags:

@its-remy-not-ratatouille @wegingerangelica @thidls12333 @tomstoobeautiful @dreary-skies-stuff @averyhill4445 @wiczer @lotus-eyedindiangoddess @theweirdlunatic @caretheunicorn @kthemarsian @lady-of-lies @sadly-falling-through-wonderland @strawberrysandcream @noplacelikehome77 @theoneanna @mishaandthebrits @mygodisloki @i-am-a-mes @nonsensicalobsessions @exygon @hiddles-lobotomy @rjohnson1280 @annwhojumps @spookycatqueen @salempoe @headoverhiddleston @fanfiction-and-stress @createdfromblue @halszka-potter @thecreatiivecorner @themusingsofmany @inthemarvelvoid @from-hel-i-with-love @kinghiddlestonanddixon @scorpionchild81 @foodthatsgoodforyoursoul @crystal-28 @adefectivedetective @lokis-girl-in-mischief @booklover2929

I hope you enjoyed the chapter! 💚✨ If you did, I would be SO happy about some feedback 🥰💗 hugs to ya lovely people! Toss a comment to your writer, oh valley of plenty 😁 (@wiczer made me do it, sorry not sorry)

[proxylynn]

Underfell: File Name not Edgy Enough #24

Chapter 24: Drama

WARNING: I WANT NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER SPOILING THINGS FOR OTHERS. THAT BEING SAID, THIS IS HOW FILE NAME NOT FOUND WOULD FUNCTION IN THE AU OF UNDERFELL. BEFORE YOU READ THIS, UNLIKE THE NICE TIME OF UNDERTALE, THIS WORLD IS KILL OR BE KILLED. THIS STORY WILL BE GRAPHIC, GORY, USE SWEARS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, AND DEAL WITH SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTERS. FOR EXAMPLE, THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE FILE NAME RELOCATED SPOOF WILL KNOW HOW I PICTURE THIS VERSION OF LYNSIE COMING TO THE UNDERGROUND. IT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING DUMB. IT IS BECAUSE SHE CHOOSES TO END HER LIFE. SO TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. I MADE IT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO LET SOME OF THIS EDGINESS OUT OF MYSELF. WHICH I GUESS MAKES UNDERFELL LYNSIE EVEN MORE TRUE TO WHO I REALLY AM. ANYWAY, ENJOY. ^_^

You know...I used to love darkness. It was the one element that felt the most kind to me. Now it's a different story. At this point I hate it. Nothing good comes when I'm in darkness anymore. If I'm not dreaming then I'm being used by a maniacal scientist as his personal experiment.

{What are you doing here?}

Or this crap happens.

"Seeing as I don't get a choice in these matters, I should be asking you that. So...Why am I here, Chara?"

{Go away.}

"Why so serious? You've been avoiding me like the plague."

{You've been listening to Gaster behind my back.}

I sigh.

"Are we really about to do this?"

{Do what?}

"A childish back and forth of 'how could you do this' b.s."

{I warned you not to trust him. And what do you do? You cut deals with him.}

"You've been rummaging in my head. Not very nice of you, bro."

{Don't call me bro. Family doesn't backstab family.}

"Heh...You've been dead so long you forget what humanity is like. And I didn't backstab anyone."

{Yes you did!}

"How? How does seeking aid from the best source of soul knowledge so I don't go kill-crazy backstab you or the family?"

{That's not the point! You didn't listen to me! Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me?!}

Where is this coming from?

"Dude, calm down. You're a kid. A dead kid. You should be used to no one listening."

The darkness rumbles with thunder. Energy swirls around like wind or unseen water. A form begins to take shape, distinctly that of a male child. The boy is pale-skinned, has bright pink cheeks, piercing red eyes, as well as light brown hair, and dressed in a red sweater with a black stripe across the middle, black pants, and brown boots. This is Chara...at least...Chara pre-death. And oddly he's intimidating.

{I am so sick and tired of people not listening to me.}

"*scoff* Join the club, kid. You really think I ended up here because others heard what I had to say? You can't expect me to ignore help because you tell me no. It's MY soul. MY problems. And I will deal with them MY way. Not anyone else's."

The energy gets stronger. It's starting to become visible as it clashes around him.

{Not again...I won't let it happen again...}

I don't like the looks of this. But what can I do about it? It's not like I have power here.

"Look, I'm sorry if I piss you off. I have an annoying tendency to do that. It's not intentional. I..."

{I won't let you kill Asriel again!}

Confusion seems to be my normal state of mind these days. Does he actually mean me? Is he having a moment like Sans and thinks I'm Frisk? Could he even be thinking of Gaster? Or is he calling out all the other past humans to fall before me? Either way, I'm not going to get through to him. The look in those eyes of his gives me the message loud and clear. Talking is pointless. Now I'm left to do the one move I've done all my life...brace for impact.

{Not again! NEVER AGAIN!}

As expected, his rage causes the energy to lash out at me and all I can do block. Damn things cut like knives. I can't tell if bleeding is possible here but it feels like it.

"*mutter* Geez...And I thought I had issues. *grunt* No one is out to kill Asriel! Calm down!"

He doesn't say a word. Yet the energy intensifies. Hitting harder. Pushing back. Pushing me away.

"*strained* Do you think this solves anything? That lashing out at me keeps him safe? Harming me only puts him in more danger!"

Again, he's not in a mood to listen. The energy is cutting away at me more. I won't be able to take it much longer at this rate.

"*snarl* Damn it, Chara! Don't be like Toriel and put your problems on me like it's my fault!"

For only a moment there's a break in his attack and I think that maybe...just maybe...maybe he sees that this isn't the right way of handling the situation. This hope is dashed when he suddenly rushes me and grabs my shirt. The look he has. So spiteful. It breaks my guard.

{If we're really family...You won't come back here again.}

He blasts me at point-blank range and everything flashes from black, red, and then white.

"*gasp and cough*"

God, I hate this shit. Each time I wake up I feel closer to dying. Like one day, I'll open my eyes but be unable to breathe or I won't wake up at all.

"Bad dream?"

...Or I'll wake up in an unknown place with lord only knows who.

"With the wack you took, a little nightmare is the best outcome you could've gotten. Though we still can't rule out brain damage quiet yet."

I can't see anything apart from the ceiling. A brace of some sort is restraining my head. I can feel bands on my wrists and ankles. And something else...something cold.

"Hmmm...Vitals look stable. Then again, it's been a long time since I've had to human hooked to this thing. Oh well."

Great. From bad to worse.

"Not a big talker, huh? Or are you just slow to take in what's going on?"

I am in no mood for this crap.

"In any case, the short version is you're now in Hotland. No one knows you're here. And if you ever want to go home, it's best that you cooperate."

The sigh that leaves me is one oozing with boredom. I'm numb to this. I've been here too long to care.

"You're taking this oddly well, human."

"I'm in no position to care. I'm restrained in a place I don't know. You already have points on me I can't bounce back from. So why not skip the spiel and be blunt. It'll be easier on us both."

There's a scribbling noise.

"Subject is reasonable yet bitchy after having woken up."

Okay...Now I have some clue.

"You're Alphys, right?"

By the sudden startle that shakes her, she wasn't expecting me to know.

"H-H-How do you...?"

"People talk. It's not like there are others down here that know what a human is and have done things to them before. Makes for a very select list of names."

She huffs through her nose.

"Perhaps you'll be of more interest than your predecessors after all. Aside from your soul that is."

She taps on something and it makes me snarl in discomfort. No wild guess needed that it's my soul.

"You're a first. I've never seen a human soul infused with magic before. Though it is funny how it can be afflicted with something so common to growing children and you are...clearly not one."

I try to not think about that stupid issue of soul puberty.

"Yeah, well...What can do? Stuff happens."

"Lucky for you...it's a condition that is easily fixed with some stabilizing magic. You might be able to feel it. It's rather cold. Much like everything else in this world."

So that's another mystery solved. I'm basically getting the equivalent to hormone balancers. The question...Why?

"Seems a little odd."

"How so?"

"No offense, but experience has taught me that no one does something for someone else down here without there being a reason. So spill it, doc. What reason could you have for treating my condition?"

There's a sigh and a loud click before the slab I'm on begins to move, slanting me to almost stand. Now I can see the room better, the machinery, the odd patch on my exposed purple soul, and her. A slightly corpulent reptile-monster that appears smaller than she is due to slouching. She has yellow skin/scales, wears spiral-shaped glasses, a red and black striped sweater with a matching black skirt, and topped off with a classic white lab coat with a few frayed ends.

"If you must know...He insisted on you being fully healed. I swear things would be more interesting if I didn't fix you. But no...he was going to annoy the piss out of me. And frankly, I'm not in the mood to tear him apart for scrap."

He? Oh...Him.

"Ah, I see. Mettaton is a crafty guy. Must be his inner ghost."

She gives me a questionable look.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because I know his cousin and he told me."

She groans and adjusts her glasses with her middle finger.

"That information is not for the public to know. You'd be wise not to spread any rumors about it."

"*scoff* Please. If I haven't blabbed by now than I ain't blabbing ever. Besides...There's no point telling anyone anyway."

She scribbles on a pad.

"You'd be wise to keep that mentality."

I roll my eyes.

"So where is he? Dude went so far as to have his flunky give me my second bat to skull injury and drag me here, the least he could do is show himself before overly explaining some elaborate plan."

She stops writing to look at me.

"HE is getting himself and I quote 'ready to shine like the star he was born to be' end quote."

If ego was hot air that metal body of his would be floating like a parade balloon.

"But what you said makes me wonder. You've watched his shows before, haven't you?"

"Enough to notice predictable patterns. Sure, the first show is fresh. But then he repeats the same theme in every show the rest of the day. It's hard not to notice."

"Like he tries too hard and looks like a moron."

"I wouldn't say that. It's endearing that he tries when it comes to an idea he likes. Whether or not the audience likes that sort of thing is subjective. You can't please all the people all of the time. Only some people some times."

"Try none and ever. Ratings have been in the dumper. The only small increase to have happened was that time he tricked you into phoning in. Heh...I still can't believe that worked."

"I'm not heartless. I don't want to see anyone hurt or die if I can help it."

She goes back to scribbling.

"Subject is a bleeding heart idiot."

I struggle to shake my head.

"Not the first time I've heard that and it won't be the last. Yet you can't honestly tell yourself that there isn't at least one person you'd risk it all for."

She pauses. Her scribbling stops to tap the pad. But this is not a long pause before she resumes again.

"Side note...If the subject is this stupid, how has it lived this long and what does that mean for surface humans?"

I can't roll my eyes hard enough.

"So you'd do anything for that fire elemental, huh?"

This has my attention.

"It's one thing to associate with monsters. Most are ignorant of what a human is. Making it easy to blend in and not be killed. But to be romantic with a monster? And to have been so dumb as to do so in public no less? That's just begging for trouble."

My glare has her smirking.

"Be a real shame if something unfortunate were to happen to him."

"You do not want to go down this road. Not on those tires."

"You are in no position to stop me if I do."

"Trust me, doc. You don't want to make me angry. Bad things happen when I snap."

My seriousness is not taken seriously.

"I'll be sure to enjoy studying every moment of it."

I sneer daggers at her.

"Humans are such pathetic and pitiful creatures."

"And yet we won the war. Go figure."

That earns me a very nasty look.

"I think you need to learn your place, human."

"I'm strapped to a table. I think I know my place."

"Let's double-check that..."

She reaches into her pocket and suddenly I'm thrashing harshly as electricity is sent shooting into me. After the longest five seconds ever, it stops. I'm left panting through my teeth and smoking faintly.

"Seems your tolerance is stronger than expected. Still...that should be enough to remind you to behave. Right, human?"

I want to defy her. I know I can. But the situation is not favoring me. She holds the power and knows it.

"*huff* Whatever."

She smiles and heads for the doorway.

"This will be interesting. That much is sure."

The door closes behind her and I sigh. Is it wrong that I miss the days of Papyrus beating me? Fuck my life. Okay...Time to make a plan.

[Meanwhile: The Ruins]

Fear. Fear is laced on the wind. Paternal fear of a mother for her child. When Toriel's voice was met by silence alarms went off. When she found the doors open when last she had shut them panic sank in. Her child's belongings were left behind, including the flower called brother. And one look at the snow beyond the door only added to her worry. The pristine snow was a disheveled mess. Footprints. In every and all direction. The worst part is the snowfall beginning to fill in the indents.

Searching.

Screaming.

Scanning for any clues as to where her child was. Yet she was lost. Second-guessing which set of tracks were the human's and uncertain if the ones she first picked were indeed the right ones. Scrambling, she picked another set and stuck to it. Swerving and swiveling through trees like dogs along a pole line. These tracks seemed hopeful enough. Stretching further into the distance than previous sets. At the rate she was headed, she would find herself in town and the location of the child would then follow suit. Just a little more. Just a bit further and then the real path shall be clear.

Yet...Why were the trees still constant?

The environment the same?

Where was this going?

...

The bridge.

These tracks made her head back towards home. Never faltering as they beelined for the bottomless pit. No deviation. No hesitation. Just clear forward motion to death. Her heart stopped. Everything stopped. She just stood there. Staring into the abyss. Contemplating just how deep or where it led. Could the human...did she...was this her fate? No...NO! There...There had to be a way to check. The...Oh! The phone! If she was in that pit or not, the ringing of that simple phone will provide her with answers.

[RING...]

She held that object muffled in her paws. Listening to the wind and anything at all.

But there was nothing. Simply the sound of snow landing on the world.

This...gave her hope. Hope touched the monster's soul for the first time in ages. Yet this begged the real question...Where is she? Perhaps some aid to this situation will be necessary. Seems like a visit to the town is in order.

[A cold walk later]

The hour is late. No one is out and about. Except for one. One that has very limited options at her disposal. In all their talks and jokes, Toriel never learned what Sans's house looked like. With a nervous lump in her throat, she approaches the bar and trembles as she knocks on the door of the obviously closed establishment. As one would guess there is no response. So she continues to knock, pressing with her urgency. After about five minutes of the most polite pounding on a door ever, a faint light approaches.

"*grumble* We're closed. Can't you read the sign?"

She ignores the annoyance due to the situation.

"Please, I need your help."

There's a pause. The door clambers open enough to show part of Grillby's face.

"M-Mrs. Dreemurr?"

"Forgive my rudeness. But I must speak to you about Lynsie."

"I didn't mean for it to be so big! It's just a hickey! I didn't hurt her, I swear!"

His defensive words confuse her and this makes the panicked man of flame become shamefully aware.

"You didn't know about that...Did you?"

Her eyes squint in judgmental frustration.

"I did not."

A small snort of steam comes out of her snout. Grillby, feeling like shit is going to end badly, slams the door in fear. Her own fear, overwriting her motherly rage, has her pounding on the door.

"Open this door!"

"I don't want to die!"

"Please! My daughter is missing!"

"...What?"

He opens the door fully now, knowing well the former queen would not lie about such a thing.

"She's missing?"

"Yes. I can not find her. Only footprints from many bodies."

She is surprised by the real concern coming to Grillby's face. He is quick to go for his phone but she shakes her head.

"I have already tried. She does not respond."

"Hmmm...This is sounding like an abduction. Has there been any notice left for you? A note? A call?"

She mopes.

"No. Nothing. I was hoping you might have a clue. Was there anything odd you noticed on your way home?"

He shakes his head.

"Unfortunately, no."

Her heart sinks. Seeing this has Grillby goes into support mode.

"Don't lose hope. We don't have much left. You know her better than I. She's prone to getting into trouble. But you know what?"

"What?"

"I know someone that can help. Just...Let me bundle up. If you can imagine, the cold and I..."

"Understood."

Grillby shuts the door and Toriel waits outside.

[Elsewhere: the Ruins]

"Ugh...my head..."

A dazed and delirious Flowey stirs in the dark confines of a bag. Unzipping a pack from the inside is bad enough, but doing so with leaves for hands is fucking ridiculous. And while hungover to boot. After some time, mixed with muffled swearing, the great escape is complete! The flower is free! Yet...Something is amiss. The bag he was contained in was not in the bedroom as he would have expected and the doors leading outside are wide open. This isn't right. It is time to ditch the pot and sink his roots into the ground to do some stealthy investigating. Covert flower style.

[Meanwhile: in Snowdin]

"Are you certain we will not be bothering them at such a late hour?"

"Don't worry about that, Mrs. Dreemurr. It's part of their job to deal with stuff like this. Plus, you're the Queen and they are in charge of looking after her. If they don't want to go through hell, they'll help."

"I hope so."

Grillby guilds Toriel the out of place house on the edge of town. Of course, they lived in a place like this. Why she expected different she didn't know. The curtains were closed yet glowed with the light of activity still going on inside. Muffled chuckling could be heard behind the walls. She recognized it easily...Sans.

"Sounds like someone's having a good time."

"Is it normal for others to be up still at such an hour?"

"Depends."

"Depends?"

"You know. Reasons. Some can't get these kinds of moments during day hours. Others just can't fall asleep all that well. Him? I think his reason is therapeutic. Ending the day on a laugh to forget all the bad stuff. But that's just my guess."

She pouts as he knocks on the door. Sans's puns when behind the Ruins exit were always on the borderline of being sad, she never thought much of it other than guessing the outside was just terrible. Now, learning more and more, she couldn't dismiss it as easily as before. But such thoughts are broken with the movement of the curtain and door opening seconds later to show the confused skeleton.

"what happened?"

Even with no word said, Sans is smart enough to know that their being here means nothing good.

"She's gone."

Sans's sockets widen.

"...get inside."

Further goading wasn't needed and once inside the door was locked much to the former queen's concern.

"now what do ya mean she's gone?"

"Not getting Papyrus? You know how he gets."

Sans sighs.

"fine...hey, pap! get your ass down here!"

A loud thud bangs the inside of a door upstairs.

"*MUFFLED* I TOLD YOU NOT TO BUG ME!"

"the queen's here! the human's gone!"

Rampant scuffling rushes to a door that is flung wildly open.

"SHE'S WHAT?!"

Toriel fiddles with her fingers.

"My child is missing. I believe someone has taken her."

Now in serious guard mode, Papyrus joins the group.

"ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT SOMEONE HAD THE GALL TO COMIT SUCH A BRAZEN ACT IN MY TERRITORY?!"

"what clues do you have that she didn't just pull a stupid stunt like last time?"

She swallows dryly.

"There were tracks. Lots of them. All scattered about the snow that were not there before. It looked like some person or persons were trying to make it as difficult as possible to distinguish what track lead where."

Papyrus growls lowly.

"SANS, CONFIRM THIS AND SEARCH FOR ANYTHING SHE MIGHT HAVE OVERLOOKED."

Sans nods and teleports out.

"Overlooked? I searched those woods for what felt like ages. I overlooked nothing."

"DO NOT TAKE IT AS AN INSULT. IN SITUATIONS OF PANIC, IT IS EASY TO MISS DETAILS. I AM MERELY CHECKING FOR THE BEST RESULTS. AND, AS LAZY AS MY BROTHER IS, HE HAS SHARP EYES. IF SOMETHING IS AMISS, HE WILL FIND IT."

"Awww..."

Grillby smirks.

"You actually complimented him. Shame he wasn't here to hear it."

Papyrus folds his arms and glares at the elemental.

"AND YOU'RE HERE, WHY?"

Grillby copies his pose except his expression is that of cocky smugness.

"I think any monster worth their dust would be man enough to care about what's happened to their girlfriend. Don't you?"

Papyrus opens his mouth to say a condescending remark but then doesn't due to his mind registering what was just said and putting things together now that it's clear.

"YOU...YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE HAVING THE INAPPROPRIATE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE ENEMY!"

"If you want to put it that way, yes."

"YOU'RE SICK."

"And loving it. What's your point?"

A weird energy could be felt between them as if they had something to say yet weren't, and it was making Toriel feel rather uncomfortable. Though part of her was miffed at Grillby for being too blatant about being with her daughter while she is present.

"YOU KNOW NOTHING GOOD WILL COME FROM MAKING YOURSELF SO VULNERABLE."

Of all the things Papyrus could've said, no one saw that coming. Yet Grillby takes it well.

"I've been spurned before. If it happens again, it won't sting so much."

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT."

This had the flaming man sneer and bite his tongue, holding back words that weren't ready to be said at this moment. Papyrus turns his attention to Toriel and she flinches.

"I NEED YOU TO TELL ME EVERYTHING."

She nods.

"Understood."

[Elsewhere: Snowdin forest]

The old lady wasn't kidding. The path outside of the Ruins looked like the frenzy made on kids the last day of school. The only difference was these tracks were randomly deliberate. Whoever made these wanted them to be seen. Not a thing normal folk do around here unless goading others into a trap. Following them would be pointless. They likely only go where they wanted them to go and covered up the real tracks. Bastard smugglers. They know what they're doing. Though someone was a little sloppy. A few stray drops of blood dot the tread of a couple of tracks. Who told them about a human being down here?

[RING]

Must be Papyrus. Maybe Toriel shared something helpful.

"sup."

"WHAT HAVE YOU FOUND SO FAR?"

Guess she didn't say much.

"not a lot. but from what's here, it looks like the work of the body snatchers."

"IN SNOWDIN? ARE YOU POSITIVE?"

Why would he not be?

"it's like the reports undyne briefed us on. a group goes about making distractions and cleans up the evidence made by the single soul doing the dirty work."

As if life down here isn't hard enough.

"ANY LEADS?"

Sans looks back towards the Ruins.

"her boot tread doesn't go past the exit door all that much and i found a few stray drops of blood. my guess is they laid her ass out with a sneak attack then carried her off. such active numbers couldn't have just got here all at once or it would be too noticeable."

"YES, IT'S POSSIBLE THEY WENT THERE ONE AT A TIME THROUGHOUT THE DAY AND HID TILL THE TIME WAS RIGHT."

"bet it helped that this was our worse day."

"TRUE. THESE PRICKS ARE CLEVER."

Is it really clever to take advantage of a missing worker and one too distracted to pay attention?

"don't praise them just yet. i might have an idea of where they come from."

"REALLY?"

"yeah. some moron decided to wear mtt brand shoes. you know? the expensive ones that have his likeness on the bottom."

"HMMM...MTT BRAND ITEMS AREN'T COMMON OUTSIDE OF HOTLAND. THERE'S NOT A LOT OF JOBS IN THE OTHER ZONES TO MAKE GOLD FROM."

"yeah. so either someone saved up for ages or we're looking at scum from hotland."

"YOU DON'T SUPPOSE ALPHYS IS INVOLVED?"

"Then what are you doing with the human? Because, frankly, it should've been sent to my lab by now."

"wouldn't surprise me. bitch knows about the human. and i've had the feeling she's been behind most of the reported disappearances. but you know undyne would never question it. thirsty fish bitch."

"IF TRUE, THEN THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET VERY DIFFICULT."

"so...they told ya anything?"

"BOTH OF THEM REPORT NOTHING UNUSUAL LEADING UP TO THE HUMAN'S ABDUCTION. THOUGH THE QUEEN MENTIONED THE GIRL RECEIVING A PHONE CALL BEFORE SHE DISAPPEARED."

"a phone call?"

"THE QUEEN ALSO NOTES SHE HAS SEEN AN UNKNOWN NUMBER POP UP IN THE HUMAN'S PHONE. WOULD YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW ABOUT THIS?"

"can't say i do. it's not like she told me about..."

"Hell, you used Mettaton for that tile puzzle. The guy's been obsessive ever since seeing her. He hasn't stopped talking about being so close to the human since he came back from Snowdin Forest."

"It was Mettaton! He traced my phone number from the other night."

"It's Mettaton. He called me again. And you know that he knows what I am."

"*soft* BUT DID I JUST HEAR THAT SOMEONE IS LAYING THEIR NASTY HANDS ON MY HUMAN?"

The realization hits Sans like a brick to the skull.

"...*whisper* oh shit."

A faint ringing can be heard.

"HOLD ON. SOMETHING'S HAPPENING."

The soft voice of Toriel answers a random call, possibly from the kidnappers. But her worried tone quickly turns to excited hope and the word child is heard.

"COME HOME, SANS. YOU'LL BE NEEDED FOR RECOVERY EXTRACTION."

"got it. be there in a sec."

He hangs up and sighs. This was worse than he figured if Mettaton was indeed the culprit. Damn machine was the reason for a RESET on what was a peaceful timeline. Well, at least there are some things he can count on when it came to the human. The girl was no damsel in distress. He just hoped nothing triggered her soul to turn black. He teleports back home completely unaware of the flower spying on him the entire time and intends to follow to find out more.

[HOTLAND LAB: around the same time]

Alphys has left me alone for a good long time now. Letting me assess my surroundings and bonds. They're tight. While one of my wrists is slightly loose. It's a trap. A ploy. She wants me to try. To make an escape attempt. I can do it. The issue is what happens when I do. Probability is not on my side. A scientist of unknown IQ has my on their turf and has who knows what in the line of traps lined up for prey that it has studied for years. Mines. Turrets. Lasers. Gas. Flamethrowers. Swinging blades. Spike pits. Razor wire. Possibility is limitless. Yet the possibilities only worsen if I remain here. I hate double edge swords. Damned if do and don't. Argh...Fuck my life.

"*wince*"

Yanking my wrist through the restraint brings back memories of the skeleton's shed. Seems like this is my role in life. Getting taken and escape. So annoying. At least that damn thing didn't dislocate. I need to keep quiet. Though it's kinda pointless. I'm more than likely being monitored in some way. Still, my odds are better if I adhere to being paranoid and ninja my ass through this place. Belt restraints are effective but old fashioned and flawed, easy to get out of if you have a free hand. I'm free in less than a minute and rips the patch off. Medical or not, I don't like my soul being out. It makes this already messed up thing even more messed up. If my paranoia and overthinking brain are on point, then the door is most likely unlocked. There's probably even a set path I'll be forced on too. Drive the cattle to the slaughter, or so they say.

A light touch on the door has it open to a dimly lit hall. Totally giving off horror movie vibes. The air has a faint stale scent, this area most likely hasn't been active in a long time. The darkness makes the hall look exceptionally long. But down it I must travel and travel I do. My steps echo like I'm walking in an empty school. Giving me unease. Like, at any second, someone or something will pop out. I haven't felt so skittish since my middle school days dodging campus security to cut class and leave the building. I'm too on edge. A slight humming isn't helping my equilibrium either. Did she set up some sort of audio mind scrambler? Am I overthinking shit? It's a 50/50% on either at this point. So I change tactics. I run. If something happens it'll at least happen quickly.

Yet...I don't seem to be going anywhere. I pass countless doors without turning a corner. I must be going deeper into insanity or something isn't normal about it. It's almost like it's...

"Son of a whore!"

I stop and grab onto the edge of a door frame. Only for the floor and walls to pull me in two directions.

"A möbius strip? No...A treadmill. Very sneaky either way. Almost didn't catch on if it weren't for that humming getting louder when I ran. Heh...Willing to bet the motor is basic and can't push past its standard limits. Which means..."

I start running backward, the hum grinding loudly as momentum builds before stopping and allowing the convener to drag me in the direction I was headed before.

"You can't correct the way it moves until it slows down to the bare minimum speed."

I ride the out of control road up to where a door, unlike the rest, becomes noticeable, this thing has a knob. Flinging it open and jumping out saves me from that dumb endless hall. One annoying trap beat. Who knows how many more to go. At least this area looks normal enough. It's open, much like a normal living space, but it's not that exactly. The interior is faint red. There are two floors, the ground floor is what looks like a workplace and the second floor is a more personal space. I'm on the second floor.

"The hell...?"

The door behind me shuts itself, sealing to blend with the wall and its knob covered by a decorative mask of an angry looking cat-girl. Everything up here seems out of place and clearly belongs in some oddball bedroom. Beside me are five fully stocked bookcases containing all sorts of things. Alphys's obsessions and hobbies, comics, anime figures, an ice cream machine, unopened letters, etc. litter her room. It's honestly very creepy. Especially the wall posters of that same angry cat-girl that have eyes that follow you. I bumpy slide down the escalator handrail, not trusting the walkway to not be a trap, and feel instant unease once my feet touch the tile floor. On the ground floor, there is a large screen that's probably been used to monitor me, a fridge with a supply of instant noodles, a messy desk with her computer surrounded by odd instruments, and a washroom. This place is creepy. Where's the exit?

*RUMBLE*

The building shakes faintly though the sound was rather loud.

*RUMBLE*

It feels like it's moving...closer?

*RUMBLE*

*RUMBLE*

*RUMBLE*

*RUMBLE*

"The hell is going on?"

The lights suddenly go out. All is very still. Till...something explodes and sends into what I guess is a wall.

"SURPRISE!"

The lights come back on and reveal Mettaton, who is now posing after bursting through a different wall.

"SUCH A FABULOUS AND RANDOM ENTRANCE. DON'T YOU THINK SO, DARLING? HUH...DARLING?"

I am less than happy shoving rubble off of me.

"Unnecessary and overly flashy. Yep...That's a Mettaton entrance alright."

"TOO MUCH?"

I dust myself off.

"Just a tad. Though, I'll give you points for it being memorable."

"BUT IF GIVEN THE CHANCE TO RATE IT?"

"Um...7 out of 10."

"HMMM...NOTE TO SELF, NEXT TIME ADD FIREWORKS AND LASERS."

Is it cute that he's trying to be cool?

"So...Is being whacked with a bat your way of saying I was taking too long to get here? Or is that how you treat all your fans?"

His screen flashes.

"OH! NO. THAT WAS MORE OF AN IMPROVISATION ON BURGERPANTS'S PART. I DO HOPE YOU CAN OVERLOOK MY POOR JUDGEMENT IN HIS COMPETENCE."

I rub my head.

"I'll give you a pass this time. Mainly because I'm thick-skulled. But no more headshots. It sucks being unconscious so often."

"FAIR ENOUGH, DEAR."

"Well, you got me here. Caused a little trouble maybe? So now what? What does a bot like you want from little ol' me?"

"OH, DARLING...WHERE TO BEGIN?"

He rolls over to me and my creep vibes are tingling. Especially when two of his four hands start posing my arms and the other two cup my face.

"AMAZING. I'M ACTUALLY IN THE PRESENCE OF A REAL LIVING HUMAN. I'VE HEARD STORIES AND SEEN FOOTAGE, BUT I NEVER THOUGHT I'D EVER GET...TO TOUCH...YOU."

What the...? Why is he saying that in such a captivating tone of voice? And why is it making feel like a dumb cliché girl? I thought Alphys fixed my soul's emotional sensitivity? I shake it off. Now's not the time for this.

"Getting a bit handsy don't you think?"

I usually save that joke when talking about Gaster, but this fits the situation too. His screen blanks for a moment at my playful voice, though I feel stupid on the inside, before flickering randomly and he lets me go.

"MY APOLOGIES. I LET MY EXCITEMENT GET THE BETTER OF ME. PLEASE...FORGIVE MY ILL BEHAVIOR."

It's so hard to get a read on him. His TV self and off-camera self are like night and day. I don't know if I can drop my guard around him just yet. This isn't normal. I'm out of my element and still dealing with lots of unknowns. Better to play safe than end up sorry...or dead. I sigh and clap my hands.

"Be kind, let's rewind."

A "?" appears on his screen while I offer my hand to him.

"Howdy, Mettaton. It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Lynsie."

He's confused, that much is certain. Though it's short-lived as he swoons dramatically and falls into my arms. Dear lord! He's heavy! Must be the junk needed to work those four arms.

"MY GOODNESS. AFTER BEING TREATED SO RUDELY, YOU CHARM ME WITH A SIMPLE GREETING? OH, WHAT MARVELOUS CHEMISTRY! I KNEW YOU'D BE PERFECT FOR THIS."

I knew there was something sketchy. I drop him.

"Once again, I encounter the creature known as selfish d-bag. I'm going home."

Not sure where the exit is but I walk away from him anyway. He, of course, scrambles to get us and zips in front to block my path.

"NO, NO, NO, DARLING. YOU HAVE IT ALL WRONG. PLEASE DON'T BE SO HASTY TO LEAVE."

"Then to prevent my irritated departure you must answer me these questions three. Doing so truthfully will have you see me remaining here with thee. But...if deception is sensed, then you shall be cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril. But since it's under renovations, I'll resort to smacking you instead."

God, I'm a nerd. Like he, or anyone else down here, knows Monty Python and the Holy Grail. However, the idea of a game seems to excite him.

"A Q&A? OH, DARLING, DO ASK AWAY. MY ANSWERS WILL SURELY BE THE STUFF YOU LONG TO HEAR."

I hold up a finger.

"First question...What are your plans for me since you have me here?"

His top set of hands twiddles their fingers while the bottom hands move as one does when dramatically speaking creatively.

"MY PLANS? OH, NOTHING MUCH REALLY."

I cock my eyes.

"Mind telling me what exactly what that is?"

"DO YOU WANT THAT TO BE YOUR SECOND QUESTION?"

I sneer.

"No. But you're not doing this right."

"HOW SO?"

"While you technically answered the question, you did so in the laziest and non-informative way."

"VERY WELL. I SHALL BE MORE INFORMATIVE WITH MY NEXT ANSWER."

"Thank you."

A second finger is put out.

"Second question...Nothing weird happened while I was unconscious, right?"

"*GASP* DARLING! THAT IS VULGAR OF THE HIGHEST DEGREE! WHILE I SHALL ADMIT..."

His hands cup my face and hold my shoulders.

"SEEING SUCH A HAPLESS FLOWER LIKE YOURSELF BE BROUGHT HERE. HURT AND UNRESPONSIVE. A LESSER MONSTER WOULD BE TEMPTED TO DO ALL SORTS OF THINGS. FORBIN THINGS. ANYTHING WOULD BE ON THE TABLE. LIMITED ONLY BY IMAGINATION..."

His voice is different. Completely monotone. All too personal. A shiver trembles down my neck. He lets the hands drop from my face but not the shoulders.

"BUT I AM NOT LIKE THOSE WEAKLINGS. I KNOW BETTER THAN TO PLUCK A FLOWER BEFORE IT BLOSSOMS. AND OURS IS ONE THAT IS JUST STARTING TO BUD."

I hate so much right now.

"DARLING?"

"Too much info."

"WELL, YOU DID ASK FOR MORE."

"Then...*sigh*...Never mind."

"AND YOUR THIRD QUESTION?"

My third? Oh! Oh shit!

"Yeah, my third question...Did you or your goon bother to inform Toriel of this impromptu adventure/kidnapping in a way that won't result in property damage/loss of life?"

"WELL..."

Big red flag warning! Fuck being nice! serious time!

"Where's my phone?"

"HUH?"

"I know it's not on me. Do you think I can't tell if there's suddenly no weight in my baggy pockets? Now if you want to escape death at her hands or mine, please...Hand it over."

He throws his hands up.

"DARLING I DON'T..."

*Bang*

He is surprised by the sudden strike.

"Don't make me do that again. Now, please, give me my phone."

"I PROMISE, DARLING, I DON'T HAVE IT."

I want to hit him again, but my throbbing hand is screaming. Change of plans.

"Give me your phone."

"W-WHAT? WHY?"

"Don't make me break my hand in repeating myself."

He rumbles and a phone shoots out of a port on his side.

"YOU ARE SCARY WHEN SERIOUS. HERE."

"Thank you."

I reach for it and he pulls back.

"AH AH AH. FIRST, A LITTLE PROMISE. YOU CAN USE THIS, BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME."

I growl in building annoyance.

"WELL? THE CLOCK IS TICKING."

I don't have time for this crap.

"...Fine."

He giggles and hands it to me. I scroll through his past calls. My number appears under some others all marked as SLAVE #...I guess he fits in down here more than I thought. Metal boss from hell. My phone could be with any of the goons so I thank my lucky stars that Toriel's number is burned into my head. Time to brace for impact.

[Snowdin: Skeleton House in present time]

Sans returns home in the kitchen, needing a drink to replenish his magic if he's to teleport any more tonight. He steps into the room to see the other three all trying to listen to the small phone at once. Guessing they are too focused to remember phones have an intercom function.

"Child where are you? Are you hurt?"

"A little sore, but otherwise okay."

Oh...never mind then. They're just being weird.

"As for the where I assume this is the Lab in Hotland. *muffled* There are no other labs in the Underground, right?"

"*faint* THAT'S CORRECT, DARLING."

The electronic voice is recognized by all except Toriel.

"Young one, who is that with you?"

"Would you believe a robotic TV star?"

"*faint* OH, DARLING, YOU FLATTER ME."

"Make that a robotic TV star with an ego bigger than Papyrus's."

"FUCK YOU, HUMAN."

Papyrus interrupts.

"Oh wow. I expected this but had my doubts Nanny would actually do it. Who else is there?"

"You had us worried, pussycat."

There's a pause.

"Don't tell me you thought he took me?"

Toriel laughs nervously.

"*groan* Mom..."

"ENOUGH WITH THE CHIT CHAT. ARE YOU ABLE TO LEAVE ON YOUR OWN OR NOT?"

"Hmmm...As far as I know, I'm able to go. But I have to do something for Mettaton first."

"Why?"

"I had to promise to do a favor to use his phone. Mine might be in the hands of some goon."

"What is it you have to do?"

"That's a good question. *muffled* Yo, what's this thing I have to do?"

"*faint* NOTHING TOO DIFFICULT. I JUST NEED YOU TO BE YOURSELF FOR THE NEXT...OH...LET'S SAY TWO HOURS."

"*muffled* What?"

"*faint* I THINK IT WOULD BE EASIER TO UNDERSTAND IF YOU TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO TURN ON THE TELEVISION."

The mood shifts ominously.

"*muffled* You can't mean what I think you mean."

"*faint* GO ON. TELL THEM."

"Uh...Turn on the TV?"

Sans grabbed the remote before the other could scramble and with a heavy feeling in his soul hits the on the button. The screen comes alive to a timer counting down. The caption above reading "Live Once In a Lifetime Event Special". The timer has less than five minutes remaining. Panic strikes. Papyrus steals the phone.

"GET OUT OF THERE, HUMAN!"

"Okay, ow, my ears are bleeding."

Grillby snatches the phone.

"Lynsie, you need to get out of there. You're being set up to appear on TV."

The next sound the group hears is the phone clattering to the floor and sprinting feet hitting tile flooring. Other sounds can be heard. Mechanical and aggressive sounds. Then...the line goes dead.

"SANS, GO GET..."

"i can't."

"What? Why not?"

"all she said was she's at the lab. do you know how big that place is? i need to know exactly where or i'm just wasting magic."

"But, Sans, you promised me you would..."

"i know tori, i ain't forgetting it. i don't want her exposed to the underground either. trust me on that. but i can't just poof to a secured building. alphys is probably expecting interference. and trust me, it's not a good thing to just pop in with no quick plan to get out."

Suddenly the TV begins beeping. The timer clocking down the remaining ten seconds. And all they could do was watch and wait. At the timer's end, the screen darkens to black before a flashy title screen appears while glam-rock plays. The image then cuts to live footage in a weird game show looking room and then...

"GREETINGS ALL YOU BITCHES AND BASTARDS. WELCOME TO A VERY SPECIAL EVENING OF ENTERTAINMENT. TO START THINGS OFF...A QUIZ SHOW!"

Mettaton flamboyantly parades around.

"BUT WAIT. WHAT MAKES THIS SPECIAL THAT IT WARRANTS LIVE BROADCASTING? WELL, YOU INGRATES, IT'S BECAUSE WE HAVE A GUEST THAT'S GOING TO BE WORTH WATCHING. ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE OUR LEADING LADY...THE ONE THE ONLY..."

The camera jumps to a stand where a spotlight illuminates onto the bound and gagged human. Arms restrained behind her back and ankles cuffed to the floor.

"THE HUMAN!"

Her glare is full of rage and the beastly noises escaping the gag as she trashes in the binds make her look as dangerous as the humans of old.

"THAT'S RIGHT, A REAL LIVING HUMAN. YOU MIGHT BE QUESTIONING THE AUTHENTICITY OF THIS CLAIM. YET I ASSURE YOU, SHE IS THE REAL DEAL."

One of his hands stretches out towards her. She recoils from the grasping appendage but she can't move from the metal hand that proceeds to taser at the chest. The pain makes her screech and her light blue soul briefly emerges. Upon seeing the heart, Mettaton stops the attack.

"AS YOU CAN SEE, HER SOUL IS CLEARLY THAT OF A HUMAN'S. SHE IS 100% HUMAN AND NOT CGI OR SOMEONE IN CUSTOM. FOR NOT EVEN THE GREATEST ACTOR OR SPECIAL EFFECTS CAN MAKE A HUMAN SOUL. AND DEFINITELY NOT ONE SO LOVELY."

The assaulting hand tease touches where the soul came from and the human cringes. Though she's not the only one. Toriel is appalled and Grillby is fuming.

"OH BOY! I CAN ALREADY TELL IT'S GONNA BE A GREAT SHOW! EVERYONE GIVE A BIG HAND FOR OUR WONDERFUL CONTESTANT!"

All four of his hands clap as he moves over to podium across from her.

"I TAKE IT YOU'VE NEVER PLAYED BEFORE, GORGEOUS?"

She huffs loudly through her nose.

"NO PROBLEM! IT'S SIMPLE! THERE'S ONLY ONE RULE. ANSWER CORRECTLY...OR YOU DIE!"

Mettaton laughs evilly yet the human rolls her eyes. The others look to Sans again.

"don't look at me. i have no clue where that room is."

Their attention goes back to the screen as the Fair Fight Field actives as if they were in battle.

[METAL CRUSHER begins to play in the background.]

[Mettaton attacks!]

"YOUR MOVE, DARLING. YOU GET ONE FREE TURN BEFORE WE START."

The girl weighs her limited options.

[FIGHT]

[ACT]

[̴͝SP͜͞E͡L̵͜L͟͠͏]͘͢

[ITEM]

[MERCY]

Her confusion is warranted. An unknown option could lead to bad things.

[ACT selected.]

[New options available.]

[CHECK]

[CRY]

She huffs and makes a choice.

[CHECK selected.]

[Mettaton – HP: 9999 ATK: 300 DEF: 999 – His metal body renders him invulnerable to attack.]

Her eyes nearly bug out of her head.

"NOT A BAD FIRST MOVE, DEAR. IT'S NEVER BAD TO CHECK ME OUT."

A screen mounted behind him blinks on.

"LET'S START WITH AN EASY ONE!"

A question appears on the screen.

[What's the prize for answering correctly?]

A) Money

B) Death

C) Freedom

D) More questions

Four buttons pop up on her stand.

"CHOOSE CORRECTLY OR BE MET WITH TERRIBLE PAIN."

The look she has is one filled with hate. Yet she complies and presses the D button with her chin. A pleasant fanfare goes off.

"RIGHT! SOUNDS LIKE YOU GET IT! HERE'S YOUR TERRIFIC PRIZE!"

Her turn is skipped due and the screen puts up another question.

"What sort of crap is this?"

Grillby interjects.

"Her turn was skipped. How is that even possible?"

Toriel ponders.

"leave it to that quack to figure out a way to break the rules."

Sans says between drinks.

[What's the king's full name?]

A) Lord Deathbeard

B) Killer Killington

C) Asgore Dreemurr

D) Krampus

The human quickly presses the C button and the fanfare goes off again.

"CORRECT! WHAT A TERRIFIC ANSWER! ARE YOU SURE YOU'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE?"

She nods.

"ENOUGH ABOUT YOU. LET'S TALK ABOUT ME!"

She groans as the screen brings up another question.

[What are robots made of?]

A) Hopes&Dreams

B) Metal&Magic

C) Blood&Guts

D) Hate&Spite

She pops her neck and presses the B button. Once more the fanfare plays. This time Mettaton gets some attitude.

"TOO EASY FOR YOU, HUH?"

She shrugs.

"WELL THEN...HERE'S ANOTHER EASY ONE FOR YOU "

[Two trains, Train A, and Train B, simultaneously depart Station A and Station B. Station A, and Station B are 252.5 miles apart from each other. Train A is moving at 124.7mph towards Station B, and Train B is moving at 253.5mph towards Station A. If both trains departed at 10:00 AM and it is now 10:08, how much longer until both trains pass each other?]

A) 31.054 minutes

B) 16.232 minutes

C) 32.049 minutes

D) 32.058 minutes

She's hesitant now. Her eyes hold uncertainty.

"Oh no..."

Toriel mutters.

"We have yet to go over such math lessons."

"THEN SHE BETTER BE A GOOD GUESSER."

The human's eyes dart from button to button. She has no clue. She picks one at random...A. A buzzer goes off.

"WRONG! WRONG! WROOOOOOOONG!"

Mettaton points at her and fires a laser blast into her left shoulder. If it weren't for the gag her cries would be excruciating.

[HP ██████████████████████████ 26/36]

She pants, biting the gag to brace some of the pain.

Toriel is understandably horrified and Grillby is worried. Though Sans and Papyrus are impressed.

"SHE'S GOTTEN TOUGHER."

"the is no pushover. the tin can is gonna learn that the hard way."

"SORRY, DARLING. BUT THE CORRECT ANSWER WAS D. MAYBE YOU'LL HAVE BETTER LUCK WITH THE NEXT QUESTION. THEN AGAIN...DON'T 'COUNT' ON YOUR VICTORY."

The next question pops up.

[How many eyes are in this jar?]

An image appears for a split second.

A) 54

B) 53

C) 55

D) 52

Not given much time to study the image, she once more has to guess.

"What kind of game is this? She is not being given a fair play."

Toriel complains.

"ACTUALLY, AS WRONG AS IT LOOKS, HE IS FOLLOWING THE LAW."

Papyrus corrects.

"You must be joking."

"he's not. one of the laws enforced after you left the king was to stop humans at all costs while giving them some form of a chance. the tin can is giving her multiple choices and only inflicting minimal damage. if he wanted to, he could just off her right there."

Explains Sans.

"As much as I don't like it, it makes sense. With one soul remaining to break the barrier extremes are bound to be made to get it. For what is the life of one human when held next to the entire Underground?"

Grillby comments and Toriel frowns. Even she sees the point in that. But that does mean she likes it.

The human contemplates her choices and seems to do a mental coin flip before pressing the D button. This time, the buzzer sounds.

"COMPLETELY UTTERLY WRONG!"

Mettaton blasts her again in the right shoulder and her roar is bloodcurdling.

[HP ████████████████ 16/36]

The bloody gaping holes in her shoulders make her slump over against the stand. She won't last much longer if this keeps up.

"THE CORRECT ANSWER WAS A. YOU MIGHT WANT TO TRY HARDER FROM HERE ON."

An annoyed groan was her reply.

"HMMM...MAYBE YOU NEED SOMETHING ELSE. LET'S PLAY A MEMORY GAME."

The screen produces a new question and image.

[What monster is this?]

The monster shown is half of a Froggit's face.

A) Froggit

B) Whimsun

C) Moldsmal

D) Mettaton

This one seems like a no-brainer yet the human seems unsure. Mostly because blood loss makes it hard to think.

"WHY IS SHE HESITATING? THE ANSWER IS CLEARLY A."

Papyrus bitches.

"Really? You think it's that easy?"

Grillby retorts.

"THEN WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?"

"I'm surprised you do see it. It's obviously D."

"BULL CRAP. I BET YOU 10G IT'S A."

"Fine. Just don't be upset when you're wrong."

After thinking long and hard about the question, the human presses the D button. The fanfare plays.

"I'M SO FLATTERED YOU REMEMBERED! LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE WHOLE IMAGE."

The picture unfolds to reveal Mettaton wearing a shirt with a Froggit's face on it.

Papyrus's jaw clenches as Grillby folds his hands behind his head with a smug attitude.

"You need to listen to pussycat more often. She did say he had an ego bigger than yours."

"FUCK YOU."

"Just pay me by week's end."

Papyrus grumbles while turning back to the TV.

"YOU'VE BEEN ON A ROLL SO FAR. BUT CAN YOU GET THIS ONE?"

The screen brings up a new and rather odd question.

[Would you smooch a ghost?]

A) Heck Yeah

B) Heck Yeah

C) Heck Yeah

D) Heck Yeah

The human and the watching group all share the say "what the fuck" look.

"GO ON. CONSIDER THIS AN ACT OF MERCY."

She sneers and reluctantly presses the B button. With no wrong choice to make, the fanfare plays.

"GREAT ANSWER! I LOVE IT!"

A steaming Grillby hates it.

"HERE'S A SIMPLE ONE."

The screen pops up the next question.

[How many letters in the name Mettaton?]

A) 11

B) 6

C) 8

D) 10

A relatively easy question except for the number of Ns at the name's end increases and eventually goes out of the screen with the numbers in the answers increasing accordingly.

"How in the world do you answer that?"

Toriel puzzles.

"it's c."

Sans says softly to the confusion of the others.

"for a second, the real numbers were there. c had eight, which is the right answer regardless of the increasing."

"Here's hoping she saw that too."

Says Grillby while adjusting his glasses.

The human is beginning to look paler than normal. The strain on her body and mind making things difficult. She wearily presses the C button, mainly due to landing on it after a slight dizzy spell, and the fanfare plays.

"OF COURSE THAT WAS EASY FOR YOU!"

She grunts against the stand, pushing herself to keep going even as her body wants her to stop.

"Come on, pussycat. You can hold out just a bit longer."

Grillby says to himself before flinching at the feel of Toriel's hand holding his. She gives him a motherly smile and it helps calm his nerves for now.

"YOU'LL BE SURE TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS ONE!"

The screen pops up another random question.

[What's a pretzel's favorite color?]

A) Black

B) Yellow

C) Red

D) Dusk

This had to be one of the odder questions to be done though tame. The human wastes no time picking a button. Either to end it faster or knowing it, who's to say. But her head thuds onto the B button and the fanfare plays.

"CORRECT! YOU'RE SO LUCKY TODAY!"

The amount of blood pooling on the floor says otherwise.

"TIME TO BREAK OUT THE BIG GUNS! HERE IS YOUR FINAL QUESTION."

The screen shows the question.

[How bright is this text?]

A) 85% Bright

B) 84% Bright

C) 86% Bright

D) 83% Bright

This made little sense. The question text was the same color as all other questions. How was this even answerable to her when she can hardly even look up at the screen?

The group is just as confused. How do you tell the percentage of brightness to text?

Though after some time of no movement from the human, Mettaton rolls around his podium.

"DARLING? ARE YOU ABLE TO MAKE A CHOICE?"

A tired moan drones out of the gag.

"TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL BE NICE AND HELP YOU OUT."

Mettaton zips over to the slumped over human.

"MY MY. SUCH A MESS YOU'VE MADE BACK HERE. GOOD THING NO MESS IS TOO BIG FOR MTT BRAND INDUSTRIAL CLEANER. IN STORES NOW."

The robot plugs his latest product in the middle of a show...real classy.

"what a jackass."

Scoffs Sans.

The other soundly agree.

"OKAY, DEAR, ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS STARE AT THE BUTTON YOU WANT TO ANSWER FOR AND I SHALL PUSH IT FOR YOU."

She tilts her head and stares.

"IS C YOU'RE FINAL ANSWER?"

She exhales long and loud through her nose.

"I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES."

He unnecessarily extends his arm in a twisty and bendy way before pushing the C button. However...Buzzer sounds.

"OH BOY, THAT'S EMBARRASSING, HUH?"

This time he blasts through her right leg making her buckle in pain to the crimson soaked floor.

[HP ██████ 06/36]

[Background music briefly pauses in silence]

"WELL WELL WELL. THAT SETTLES THAT, DOESN'T IT?"

To much befuddlement, Mettaton proceeds to remove the restraints and gag from the broken girl.

"*weak* W-What are you doing?"

"SUCH A SILLY QUESTION. IF YOU DIE THE SHOW HAS NO DRAMATIC TENSION! WE CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS!"

She's in no position to fight this or wants to. He collects her from the ground and seems to gently hold her in two of his arms. So much red coats just about everything. He then addresses one of the many hidden cameras in the room.

"I KNOW WHAT YOU ALL MIGHT BE THINKING. BUT METTATON, WHY AREN'T YOU GOING TO KILL THE HUMAN? YOU CLEARLY HAVE THE CHANCE. TO THAT I SAY, NO. SHE WON THIS GAME. AND THEREFORE, SHE PROCEEDS TO THE NEXT ROUND OF OUR LITTLE GAME. THAT'S RIGHT! THIS WAS JUST THE FIRST ACT! NEXT UP, MORE DRAMA! MORE ROMANCE! MORE BLOODSHED! STAY TUNED, LOSERS...! NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME...THIS LOVELY LADY NEEDS TO HEAL. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THESE COMMERCIAL MESSAGES."

The broadcast fades into commercials. The four of them are left with more questions than answers. But at least one thing is going in their favor. Mettaton wants to keep her alive. Perhaps in the next show, she'll appear in a location that's more recognizable and rescue can be done before anyone else tries to get her. Though the four of them weren't the only ones watching the show. A small indent in the window and ground below were all the tells of the sneaky flower. His mission now clear. Save his sister.

[Hotland Lad: Medical Room]

Alphys finishes setting up life-support systems by the time Mettaton wheels in with the now very near dead human.

"Put her here."

He need not be told twice.

"Some first act. She's almost dead."

Less of a reprimand and more of a statement by Alphys while she begins plugging the human into the machines.

"I WAS WORRIED NEAR THE END. HAD SHE MISSED ANOTHER QUESTION I MIGHT HAVE NEEDED TO GO OFF SCRIPT. MAIN CHARACTERS CAN'T DIE SO EARLY IN THE SHOW."

"You're just lucky I can fix this."

"WILL SHE NEED LONG TO HEAL?"

Alphys sticks in an IV drip and taps it for bubbles.

"Don't rush this. Your blast, while clean, went through a lot of muscle and bone. Not to mention all the blood that'll need to refill. That kind of stuff will need longer to repair."

"BUT...WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE COMMERCIALS GOING TILL THEN."

The annoyed scientist shoots him a look.

"Then I guess you need some filler till then."

Mettaton cringes.

"FILLER?! SUCH A DIRTY WORD. WHAT WOULD IT EVEN BE?"

"How about you figure that out elsewhere? I need to work. Or do you want this to take longer?"

That had him speeding away as she then shouts.

"And clean up all this blood! This is a lab! Not a butcher shop!"

She was unsure he heard all that but focused on monitoring the human.

"*sigh* You are so lucky I'm bored or you'd be under my knife right now."

The human involuntarily twitches, earning a smirk from the spectacle-wearing lizard.

"Maybe you'll heal sooner than expected."

Oh, how she enjoyed her work.

[marril96]

The Distance Between Us

Chapter 14: The Scream Queen

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: You decide to introduce Rowena to some new culture.

Editor: @wonderifshelikesroses

Rowena wasn't kidding about hanging out with you publicly. In the weeks that followed, you hung out with her more and more, much to the chagrin of your friends.

"She's a snake! Dug her bloody claws into you and won't let go!" Crowley'd said during one of his signature dramatic rants about his sister and all the different ways she was using you and stealing you from him.

Having run out of arguments ages ago, for nothing you could say would convince him there was no way Rowena was using you as you'd hardly had anything she'd want, you'd simply said, "Snakes don't have claws."

Dean wasn't too happy with the situation, either. Neither was Castiel, but he kept his commentary to himself, while Meg found the whole thing hilarious. The more dramatic Crowley got, the more amused she was. Which usually led to the two of them bickering, something you welcomed as it got attention away from you.

Sam was the only one who supported yours and Rowena's budding friendship. Not that you called it that. For all intents and purposes, the two of you were just acquaintances doing schoolwork in public. And in private. And sometimes telling jokes and laughing instead of doing said schoolwork. As acquaintances did.

As annoying as your friends were, you knew there was no malice to their actions. They were just protective. Especially Crowley, as he knew best how Rowena was and didn't want you to get hurt. But neither he nor the rest of them knew the true her. The one that flashed warm, genuine smiles. The one that spoke in a soft voice as she explained problems over and over, endlessly patient. The one that was sweet and kind and acted more like a friend than an enemy behind closed doors.

You finally understood why Sam was friends with her. He'd been the first one to get to know that side of her. Now that you got the privilege, you could see why they understood each other so well. What made their friendship work so well despite their differences in social standing.

Having his support meant the world to you.

"Your taste in movies sucks," you said one late November evening, looking over Rowena's DVD collection instead of studying. All classics. The majority black and white.

Rowena put her phone down and huffed. "As if yours is better."

You flashed her a grin. "Mine's fun."

"Mine is cultured," she retorted smugly.

You snorted. "I'm pretty sure culture existed after…" You looked for the latest release in her collection. "1975."

She shrugged. "I prefer the classics."

"I can see that." An idea dawned on you like a light bulb flashing on. "We should get you up to date."

Rowena raised her eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah," you said, confident. Decisive. "We should go to the movies. Watch something new."

"You must be joking!"

"Nope. Gotta introduce you to some new culture."

She raised an eyebrow. Curious. Suspicious. "And what exactly would we be watching?"

"The Slashing."

It was a horror movie that had recently hit theaters. Most popular horror reviewers raved about it; you couldn't wait to see magnificence for yourself.

Rowena made the same face she'd made when Miss Hanscum had offered her donuts. Disgusted. As if someone had murdered her entire family. "I am not watching a movie called The Slashing."

"It's a good movie," you argued.

"If nudity and gratuitous violence falls under your definition of good."

As a matter of fact, they did.

"Reviews say there's not that much nudity."

She scoffed. "Is that supposed to convince me?"

"There's shirtless guys," you said with a shrug.

Covered in blood and most likely getting violently murdered. But hey, shirtless guys were shirtless guys.

"Now you're really grasping at straws."

Guilty as charged.

"Please? I've been wanting to see it for ages," you said.

"Nothing's stopping you."

"I don't wanna see it alone."

"Take Fergus."

"I don't like going to the movies with him. He always talks, and he insults the characters."

"Then you're out of luck."

Hopefully not.

"Can't you go with me?"

"Sorry, love. Horror is not my genre."

"You might like it."

She fixed you with a stare. Narrowed her eyes in curiosity. "Why do you want me to go?"

"Because."

Because I think we're becoming friends.

Because I think it'd be nice to spend some time with you in the dark, high on adrenaline, far away from math and black and white classics.

Because you're a mystery and I want to solve you. I want to know who you truly are. Because…

I think I like what I see.

You shrugged, adding, "It'd be fun to hang out. Now that we're not hiding in your room all the time."

Rowena thought it over, eyes never leaving you. Did she see what you saw? Was she having as much fun as you did? Or was this all strictly business Principal Shurley had imposed on her?

She seemed to genuinely enjoy your time together, but for all you know it could have been a mask. Rowena was different from most people. She hid her feelings — her entire self — well. Had built up a wall around herself to keep everyone at a distance. It was hard to tell who she really was.

One thing you were one hundred percent certain of was that she wasn't the mean girl she presented herself as at school.

But who she actually was was a mystery.

"If I accept, then you have to accompany me to a place of my choosing," she said after a few moments on contemplation.

"Is this blackmail?" you asked, quirking up an eyebrow.

"A trade," she said simply.

Fair.

You could live with that.

"Sounds good to me."

Her mouth widened into a smile. "Excellent! In that case, I will go with you to see The Slashing." Her face scrunched up at the mention of the title. A cute little expression. "But if I don't like it, I will walk out."

"You a scaredy cat?" you teased.

She blushed scarlet as her hair and turned her head. "No."

"Sure you're not."

"I am not scared!"

Of course she wasn't.

"Whatever you say." Before she could utter a retort, you said, "It's a deal. If it'd bad, we leave."

This was going to be fun.

*****

It was the last day of November and it was cold as hell itself. The ice in the air bit at your exposed skin; even through thick layers of clothes and a scarf covering your neck and mouth, you were shivering as if under a fever.

Maybe going to the movies, in this weather no less, was a mistake. Maybe you should've waited a few more weeks and pirated the damn movie like a normal person instead of freezing your ass off in below zero weather for an hour and a half of half-naked teenagers getting murdered on big screen.

One look at Rowena, in her maroon coat and knee-length red boots, told you it was worth it.

It wasn't every day that you got to take her to the movies.

Loser girls and popular girls didn't do that sort of thing together. As per the unwritten rules of your school's social hierarchy, their worlds didn't mesh together. They didn't mesh together.

And yet, here you both were.

Freezing, but close to your destination. Determined. Stubborn despite the awful weather.

"I bloody hate winter," Rowena commented as soon as you stepped into the theatre.

It was warm inside, pleasant, comforting, and you let out a breath of relief as the cold in you started melting.

You never wanted to go outside again.

"Technically, it's still Fall," you said.

Rowena glared, not in the mood for technicalities. "It's cold."

You shrugged. "No argument there."

Despite the horrid weather, there were still plenty of people around. Parents with overly excited children. Tired people just getting off work, eager to relax after a day of hardship. Groups of high schoolers giggling. Couples holding hands and popcorn.

You and Rowena oddly fit in.

Did you look like a couple to observers? Granted, you weren't holding hands, but you'd gotten here together, and you'd exchanged banter.

Friends, people would think. Definitely friends.

A feeling much alike disappointment swept over you. You pushed it down, ignored it. You and Rowena were sort-of-friends. And that was how it would stay.

You cared about her as a friend.

Nothing more and nothing less.

Just friends, you reminded yourself. Just friends.

You paid for the tickets, prompting Rowena to raise her eyebrows in surprise, bought some popcorn, and the two of you went to take your seats. The theater was packed, mostly with teenagers and young adults. Thankfully, none of the faces you saw looked familiar. If they went to your school, you didn't know them.

Not that you were ashamed to be seen with Rowena. But there were some things that felt more private, more intimate. Things that were too special to be spread around school in the form of rumors riddled with half-truths and blatant lies.

Things like watching a movie with a friend. In the dark. Far away from wandering eyes and cruel whispers. From blond, blue-eyed assholes' stares and nasty bitches' glares.

"Treating me, are you?" Rowena said.

"I invited you," you replied. It was only fair that you paid.

"Fair point," she conceded. With a teasing note in her tone, she said, "I take it this is a date, then."

A rush of heat spilled over you, burning at your cheeks. A lump formed in your throat, hard to swallow.

"A total date," you said with as much sarcasm as you could, praying to all deities you could think of that it was convincing enough. Thankfully, the room was dark enough to hide your flushed cheeks, but your voice, your rushed breathing and racing heart were all yours to deal with.

Traitors.

What was wrong with you?

You liked Rowena, but she was still a mean girl. She was still friends with bullies and in a relationship with a jackass. Even if she was single, you would never go out on a date with someone like her.

You only liked her as a friend.

Right?

Right?!

Rowena chuckled. If she noticed you were flustered, she didn't comment on it. "A bit too cheap for my taste," she teased.

"My sincerest apologies, madam. I wasn't aware of your price demands."

"Aye." Her shoulder brushed against yours as she shrugged. "I'm a restaurant girl."

"High end, I take it?"

"What else?"

You had to laugh. "Unfortunately, I don't think there are movies here that'd fit your standards. You'll have to live with it."

She laughed along. "I suppose I will."

"We got popcorn." You offered her the tub. "It's close enough."

She made a disgusted face. "No, thank you."

"Your loss," you said with a shrug and shoved a handful in your mouth.

"You are a pig," she said, not really meaning it. A mock insult from one friend to another.

You playfully elbowed her shoulder. "You're on a 'date' with said pig."

"Starting to regret it."

"If it makes you feel any better, we can blame this all on Principal Shurley. He's the one who made you tutor me."

"Bloody bampot," Rowena said in agreement.

You raised the popcorn up like a glass of champagne about to click against another. "Amen to that."

As soon as the movie started, the murmur of voices quieted down. Your eyes were glued to the screen, adrenaline pumping through you as the characters screamed and ran for their lives. There was beauty in horror; danger that wasn't real but still felt so vivid, fear that made your skin crawl and your heart race in excitement, blood that looked so fresh and bright on the big screen. Not many people understood that. But here, in this room, it seemed like everyone did.

Every now and then your glance would wander to Rowena. This wasn't her scene, but despite clear distaste on her face, she still watched. She took everything in. Every deathly scream. Every shift in music. Every splash of blood. Her body twitched, and you could tell it took everything in her to contain her screams. But, like the strong girl she was, she still watched.

She didn't leave. Didn't even go to the bathroom to get away from it all. She was scared, but she still stayed.

You admired that. Admired the dedication. The stubbornness.

She wanted to be here with you. Wanted to hang out with you.

A pang of regret pulled at your heart.

You never should have doubted her.

A piercing scream suddenly echoed through the room as the killer jumped out from behind one of the few remaining characters. It died down along with the girl as the knife bit into her flesh, slashed her up from the inside out.

A few people screamed along with her.

A giddy smile spilled over your mouth as excitement rushed through you like a potent drug.

And, as if on cue, a hand covered yours, tiny fingers squeezing for dear life.

You looked down, surprised to find Rowena's pale hand in yours, pink nails glittering in the dim light from the screen.

Her eyes were on the movie. Mouth pressed into a firm line.

An involuntary reaction.

You smiled, squeezing back. Her skin was warm on yours. Comforting. Right.

Your hands remained linked for the rest of the movie. Every time a jump scare would pop up, Rowena's fingers would tighten around yours. You would return the gesture. A wordless promise that you were there, that nothing would happen to her. That she was safe despite her fear.

As soon as the credits started rolling, the two of you parted. Neither said a word about what happened. Acknowledged it in any way.

No comments were necessary.

You'd held hands.

Longer than was necessary.

Tighter than was friendly.

And it felt so right.

Like it was the way it was supposed to be.

*****

Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @victoriasagittariablack @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @gaysnakess @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @tasyahilker @a-queen-and-her-throne

[wackygoofball]

Moodboard: Jaime x Brienne - Shadowhunters AU

Brienne of Tarth has been quite busy at the King’s Landing Institute. The Clave assigned the young Shadowhunter a new case to investigate. Mundanes were murdered in odd fashion, a mixture of signatures one would associate with demons, warlocks and the like. Brienne travels to the latest crime scene, surprised to see someone already examining it, the infamous Jaime Lannister, the only honorably discharged Shadowhunter. He killed the former head of the King’s Landing Institute, Aerys Targaryen, and as a result was thrown out.

“Go to hell, Lannister. You are not allowed anywhere near Clave operations.”

“Have already been there, don’t fancy revisiting it. Thanks a lot.”

“Why are you here anyway?”

“Interest? And I am of interest to you because I may happen to have some valuable information, though you will have to ask me for it, nicely, I may add.”

“I think I can handle on my own.”

“I’ll be here once you realize that you need me… what was your name again?”

“None of your business.”

“Odd name. Is it Braavosi?”

“None of you business.”

“You can call me Jaime, just Jaime.”

Brienne just leaves the man standing where he is to investigate for herself. However, to her great dismay, the latest victim does no give her any new clues. When she walks back she is not really surprised but still irritated by the fact that the Kingslayer still lurks around the crime scene, looking at her oh so smugly. Begrudgingly, she asks him for the information he claimed to have. If he has some valuable intel, it is her obligation to obtain it, after all. Her opinion of him should not stand in the way of that.

“There’s one trademark achingly absent from this, wouldn’t you agree?”

“… No Seelie signature.”

“Would seem odd to me that if someone were to pain all Downworlders as bad, that someone would conveniently leave out those nasty always-telling-the-truth-though-not-really Seelies.”

“And do you have anything to support your hypothesis?”

“I may.”

“And you won’t share?”

“I don’t think you have asked me nicely yet.”

“I am fairly sure I did not, because I had no intention to.”

“But you want that intel, don’t you?”

“If you can’t give it, I doubt you even have it, in which case you still remain a waste of my valuable time.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“An educated guess.”

Brienne remains irritated by the man, but against many, many odds, he apparently has some valuable information that may prove vital to the case, leading all the way back to Seelie King Jaqen H’ghar.

Dutifully, Brienne reports back to the ops, leaving a very disappointed Jaime behind as he was hoping she’d at least treat him a coffee for his troubles, but no such luck. Head of the Institute Ned Stark is pleased to hear about the progress on the case she’s made but shows little enthusiasm once she tells him about the unexpected help she received from the Kingslayer.

“He’s up to no good,” he warns her.

“I am aware, but he helped me find evidence I needed to put things together. And I honestly thinks we are on to something bigger than the involvement of the Seelies in the latest attacks.”

“If you know what’s good for you, you will stay away from him in the future, though. That man cannot be trusted, and he has any reason to have something against us, against the Clave. We don’t know what his motivation is.”

“I have any intention to stay clear of him, but if meeting the Kingslayer again serves the Law, I will do what it takes to uphold it, Sir.”

With that, Brienne leaves the office to continue putting her report into writing. She runs into Ned’s daughters Arya and Sansa.

They grey on her by now, and Brienne started to feel responsible for them after their father was gone for a long time, having left everyone, his children included, under the belief that he died like his wife and son and his son’s wife did. Warlock Petyr Baelish collaborated against Ned after Robert’s demise, and it was owed to Varys’s quick thinking and passing him off as dead that bought them the necessary time to get Ned out of the dangerzone and find the people behind the plot. Ever since, things have been strained between the last of the Starks, to say the least, as the girls did not take kindly to the loss of their father and his sudden, unexpected return. While he was gone, Arya in particular joined a dark path, ran away and spent far too much time with the Seelies instead of fellow Shadowhunters. Sansa barely speaks to her father and retreated into herself, focusing most of her attention on handling the administrative duties she was assigned. Brienne took care of the girls after Arya returned to the Institute, for reasons unknown, and while the girls struggle, they grew to have some trust the tall, mannish woman. However, as much as they may have grown to trust Brienne they learned to mistrust their father. Ned, ever since, failed to reconnect with his children. And the fact that he became head of the Institute does not necessarily help the matter as he has little time to spend with his family even though all are in desperate need for just that. Brienne continues to push him, but to no avail.

The man is even more stubborn than she is, and that surely means something.

The blonde Shadowhunter goes back to her usual routines thereafter, but strange occurrences drive her out of the office out into the streets sooner rather than later, as evidence keeps suggesting to her that there is an uprising that may connect to the Night King whom all thought was defeated during the last Long Night. However, that was such a long time ago that people only see it as legend now, though Brienne is afraid that this legend may come to haunt them again if they don’t do something.

And as much as she hates it, this is damn well close to what the Kingslayer suggested to her back when he offered some intel during the Seelie case. He was the only one she ran into until now who had a similar suspicion.

Not knowing where else to turn with her theories, as authorities remain indifferent to her suspicions, Brienne tracks down the Kingslayer. However, disappointment soon overtakes her surge of enthusiasm as she finds Jaime drunk and miserable about himself after a rough night of “memories, too many memories,” as he lulls at her. Brienne isn’t having it and tells the man to get himself together if he means to stay true what he told her, wanting to solve that mystery as much as she. Jaime sobers up somewhat once he realizes just how serious the woman is, not just bothering to track him down but now also expecting better of him.

He didn’t have people put faith in him in a long, long time, after all.

“We have a common goal and the Clave won’t give the orders to further investigate unless I bring the evidence needed. If what you and I came up with turns out to be true, even to the smallest degree, then we may have the second Long Night on our hands and we have to stop it. It may well be that there may be a new uprising of the living dead we banished beyond the Wall. And as much as I hate to admit, you got further down the road than I did with my methods.”

“So that means you trust me?”

“I am willing to have a truce with you.”

“A truce.”

“We both have a common goal, which is to figure out what is going on with the murders, what’s the reason behind it all,” she tells him. “A truce would allow us to work together for this case only.”

“A truce… it does have a nice ring to it.”

“If you think so, meet me tomorrow and sleep off your hangover because I am here for business, not to become your personal nanny.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Jaime keeps true to his word and shows up at his most presentable the next day, quick to suggest to Brienne that if they want to get to the bottom of this, they have to reach beyond “familiar turfs and venture through the neighbors’ gardens,” which is his way of telling her that they should consult with Downworlders. Brienne is not particularly pleased about that as she was taught to stay clear of them the best she can but tags along anyway.

The Kingslayer brings her to the Dwarf Warlock of King’s Landing. It is only once she sees the two together that Brienne pieces together that this warlock is Tyrion and that Tyrion is Jaime’s brother. As they explain to her, Tyrion was abandoned after his warlock mark was discovered. Tywin had Jaime believe that Tyrion passed away from sickness but actually had him brought away to be with the warlocks instead.

“I am a thing of curiosity in all worlds there are. To the mundanes, I am a simple dwarf with a drinking problem. To my father and sister, I am a monster. To the Shadowhunters I am a warlock with dangerous abilities… and to the warlocks I am a danger all the same as I am the only warlock born from the union of two Shadowhunters, which is a thing of impossibility.”

“Which is why he started getting drunk to cope. I don’t think you’ve ever been sober since you came of age.”

“And I have no intention to start now.”

Jaime found him on a mission when he was younger and still a Shadowhunter out of the handbook when he was working a case. The two agreed to keep it a secret that they are brothers because they would not want to risk Tywin learning that Jaime and he got back together. After all, the man was willing to abandon Tyrion and tell Jaime that he died only just to know them apart.

“And Father won’t ever manage that again, we’ll see to that.”

After Jaime broke with the Clave, he spent most of his time doing nothing, waiting for the end of the Shadow World because he believes it is meant to go down, was always meant to be: “It started with Aerys and it ends with another bad guy. Fire or ice, all the same. In the end, the Shadow World is fucked and I am just here to watch the fireworks.”

Brienne calls him out on that because he came to the scene on his own. “Seems like you give a damn after all.”

“How daring of you to accuse me of caring for anyone but myself, wench.”

“An educated guess.”

Tyrion starts to take interest in not just the case his brother got himself into but also the female Shadowhunter who came to them for help. A little bit of digging around reveals some interesting information about her, namely that she is also known as the Kingslayer, a title both brothers thought was quite unique to Jaime’s case only.

When the leads keep them off the tracks and frustration starts to spread, Jaime and Brienne get into a heated argument, which soon ebbs into Jaime revealing Tyrion’s research about her and asking the really uncomfortable questions of why she is called that and why she never told him that they are “one and the same” after all.

“I am called Kingslayer still even though my case was cleared. We are not the same. I was accused of having murdered Renly Baratheon, but the charges were dropped because of a lack of evidence.”

“Which means they didn’t actually prove your innocence but just didn’t have enough against you to take your runes away.”

“I didn’t do it. Stannis did, but I don’t have the evidence to prove it and bring him to justice before the Law.”

Brienne always dreamed about becoming Renly's parabatai and hoped that he would choose her once it was time, but before Renly could even choose a partner of that sort, he was murdered. Her father wanted her to take over the Institute on Tarth as his successor, but she declined and instead went to King's Landing to stick to Cat after she helped her through the Renly trial and was supportive of her when no one else was. To repay the debt, Brienne felt all the more compelled to take care of Sansa and Arya when Catelyn passed away and they didn’t yet know that their father was still alive.

She wasn’t ready to become head of an Institute, and in Brienne’s mind, that moment won’t ever come as she doesn’t believe herself to be made of the stuff it takes to run an institute: “I don't have charisma, I don't know how to deliver great speeches to inspire people. I know how to fight. I know how to be a Shadowhunter. That is all I will ever be, and that is fine with me. That means I can devote myself to protecting the people I love.”

After that fight, the two feel a closer connection since ever as they now trust one another with their darkest secrets, even more so when Jaime reveals some of the circumstances behind his act of treason that got him dispelled.

And soon, feelings of distrust and misgiving become increasingly replaced by care and… something much stronger, something both actually gave up on long time ago, until they found it again – just with one another.

However, trouble is only ever just a step away as evidence keeps suggesting they are on the right track and they are running out of time to prevent the Long Night. Both have to face some inner demons as they have to confront their past and present, Jaime having to face up against Ned Stark and Brienne having to come to terms with the circumstances of Renly’s death.

When the two discover what has to be done in order to save not just their world but of all others, mundanes and Downworlders alike, and how much sacrifice that may mean not just for themselves but for them together, it puts not just their devotion to the cause to the test but also forces them into the tough choice of how far they are willing to go for duty, if love the price for it.

[alitheamateur]

The Grind- Chapter 4

Warnings: Language. Angst.

Just shy of 3 months had swiftly come & gone. We spent most of our days together, and the easy casualty, and effortless chemistry between us still stood firm. The whirling wind of our relationship only just picking up, and I was intently reading the blatant, yet blindly mysterious novel that was Colton Ritter. He was romantic in the brawniest of ways, always keeping a solid arm around my waist, or his wide fingers locked around my bony hands when we explored the crowded sidewalks on our outings. Or on the rare occasions he decided to sleep over, he’d never settle to sleep in any position other than nestled into my back, his warm steady breaths exhaling into my hair, & limbs locked around me. There was a period when I had to reassure myself that he did indeed know my proper name, and wasn’t just calling me ‘his girl’ every time he addressed me to cover his flighty memory.

The fight was just shy of two weeks away, give or take. Two painfully anxious, grueling weeks away. Rightfully so, Colton delicately began to isolate himself a bit, applying his metaphorical “game face” makeup, if you will. However, tonight he had promised to skip out his usual third training session of the day & let me have him to myself. I tidied the throw pillows on the sunken leather couch on my way to answer his knock, and fluffed some fingers through my hair.  

“Hey, babydoll.”

He crossed the entryway with a wet peck to my lips & dropped himself to be seated on the center cushion of my couch, kicking off the heels of his gray trainers with a grunt. How on earth a man could make a sweat stained, beat-up hoodie look like a 3-piece suit, was an enigma I’d yet to solve.

“How’s my girl?” he smiled, using two fingers to playfully seduce me to fill the empty spot next to him. I made a pit stop grabbing the remote control so I could ready the DVD I had rented for us, then plopped beside his now relaxed frame. The ‘right at home’ manner he felt at my place, made the tiny space feel all the more cozy.  

“Perfect now,” I answered with smiling satisfaction, nuzzling into the warm crook under his arm. As a woman, I never like to think of myself as weak or fragile, small even. But the way his full, sizeable arm made me feel almost like a helpless child protected in the safe space of their own little hiding spot was an exception.

We’d barely made it 10 minutes into the movie before the tongue I’d been biting to keep quiet, broke free. “How’s the training coming? Is your hand still giving you trouble?”

Earlier in the week, I’d met him at Mac’s per his request, & found him wincing as the trainer pressured his obviously swollen, irritated mitt. He brushed off my evident concern, saying he had probably just “over did it a bit,” but the trainer shot me a clandestine glance, indicating that it indeed was something I should maybe be concerned with.

“It’s all good, babe. Nothin’ to worry yourself about, honest. Relax, huh?” He held up the wounded hand, wiggling his fingers as if to prove to me he was as healthy as a horse, and pressed a kiss to my temple.

I nodded my head at the obvious lie, resisting the urge to push the issue of my growing regard for him. My silky legs tucked under me, I lifted from the couch to retrieve some popcorn from the kitchen, strategizing the best way to mind my own business would be to excuse myself from the room for a brief moment or two.

I couldn’t have made it 3 small strides in exit before I was wrangled like a farm animal from behind.

“Hey 2-1, think fast!” He declared referring to the peeling vinyl number on the back of one of my dated team sweatshirts from high school.

Not allowed a moment to resist, he pounced from his seat, captured my limber body, & heaved me over his stony shoulder, adding a saucy pat to my rump for good measure. I squealed with pleasure as he whisked me off in the direction of my bedroom, shouting giggly words of objection mixed with powerless slaps to his widespread back along the way. We entered the bedroom threshold where he chucked me atop the plush white duvet of my full-size bed, my hair bouncing and scattering across my face. My arms outstretched slackly, he situated himself above me, dangling studiously rubbing nose-to-nose with me. I closed my eyes lazily with desire, anticipating the puffy lips I knew were approaching me.

“Highlight of my day about to be what’s between those soft legs of yours, Livvy,” he purred, causing me to shiver involuntarily as his gifted hands slid toward a southern destination. The airy hairs across my bloomed skin raised on end, the grips of his fingers leaving white scraps of pressure along the way.

The moment couldn’t have been more laced with passion, and elevated craving, and yet the wandering mind of mine I often coursed for overthinking, wouldn’t slow down.

“Colt, are you sure your hand’s okay? I just wanna make sure you’re in perfect condition for Mendez. I can’t have you going into this thing if you’re not 100%, babe.”

I knew right off I had made a hasty, unsuitable move. His sculpted jaw clenched, nostrils flaring with outrage. I searched his face for the man I’d grown to know, the one who held me in such high regard, always so playful & gentle. But this was Jekyll. His pupils almost rattled with offense, and I heard his neck crack from the fuming build inside him.

“Really? I told you I’m fine, Liv. Damn it!” He scoffed, and pushed himself off me, heavy feet stomping promptly down the hall, his sock feet ruffling over the area rug. I tossed myself over the foot of the bed after him, regretfully chastising myself for the poor timing.  

“You write articles about sports. You’re not a trainer for God sakes. I said not to worry about me, & I meant it, ‘ight. Just back off!”

I barely managed to hear the muffled last three words he’d growled at me from behind the door he’d nearly breached from hinges on his way out. I wasn’t oblivious to the fact that he held some tendencies of fuming anger, and maybe the occasional tendency for a tantrum. There had to be a dark hole of hostility buried in his psyche, let’s be honest. The guy made a career of bashing in the face of his fellow man. But never, did I expect to see those flashes of dander thrust upon me.

 I spent two days following his outburst lost in a thick fog of muddled questioning. The independent, headstrong woman in one corner was brushing off the barefaced disrespect and hissy fit he’d thrown, advising that I didn’t deserve such, and to run away with my head held high. However, the lovesick girl in the opposing corner who just felt the desire to be valued by a good man, told me to forgive my sometimes darkly pensive partner. He was under an extensive amount of pressure to make weight, and make sure he was properly armed on every level to defeat Mendez.  So, I called a draw between my battling emotions like any indecisive twenty-something woman would do. I decided there was no way I’d go groveling for some answers since I was clearly the innocent party in the episode. But, offering to hear him out when he did show his face, seemed rational.

Arriving home from work that rainy Tuesday, spitting curses to myself when someone had swiped my front row parking spot, there he stood. I picked the dry skin from my lip, organizing my plan of attack. I couldn’t go too easy on him and run childishly right into his arms. No, I was too unwaveringly thick headed for that. Earning my forgiveness wasn’t a simple task, but it wasn’t an impossible one either. As I ascended the concrete steps closer to the looming figure pacing near my door, I noticed he was drenched. His heather gray sweatshirt, now shaded to charcoal, and his teeth gently chattered behind blotched lips.

“It’s freezing out here, crazy! God, Colton! Come inside.”

I left him standing on the doormat to retrieve a set of clothes he’d left one morning after a jog that had led him here. A tingle eased up my legs remembering the shower fiasco that had resulted from his impromptu visit.

“Here, put these on before you catch freaking pneumonia.”

He emerged from the bathroom, his dripping hair standing in all directions messily just how I liked it. “What were you doing out in the rain, Colton? Are you out of your mind?” I knew deep down realistically there probably was a part of him that indeed was, but that was beside the point.

“I ran from my place to Mac’s this mornin’, before the rain. Except I couldn’t focus on my damn session for thinkin’ about you.” He snapped in my direction, tossing his arms up in a seeming surrender.

Was he blaming me for the fact that he couldn’t train? Trying to fault me for his lack of focus?

“Look, Liv. I ain’t the type a guy who gets into much of the feelings bullshit. But, I do know that I owe you an apology for runnin’ out on you the other night… and the yellin’. I’m sorry for that, too. My pop didn’t raise me as the type ‘a man who speaks to any woman like that. I need ya’ to know that I can promise, you’ll never see that side of me again, outside of the cage. Understand?”

He hadn’t looked to me until that moment. It was almost like the little speech he had just given, was partially aimed as a smack on the wrist for himself, too. I could tell he was sincerely ashamed of his erratic behavior, and who was I to deny the forgiveness his now child-like eyes desired.

“I get it. I shouldn’t have nagged you about the hand. That part of your life is none of my business, and I swear to stay out of it.”

The last words had barely escaped me before he swooped my nervous hands into his.

“Woah woah, hold it, babe. The fighting IS your business. Sometimes, you’re prolly gonna wish it wasn’t, truthfully. That’s not at all what I meant. You’re my girl now Livvy, so anything in my life, I want you a part of. The problem is, the other night when you kept askin’ about the injury, it wasn’t that I was mad that you were concerned. It’s just, I was tryin’ my hardest to pretend it wasn’t a problem. I didn’t wanna have to face that something could’ve really been wrong with my hand, or that the fight may not happen at all because I lost my damn temper during a spar. This fight is all I got right now, ya’ know? It could be make or break for me. I thought maybe pretendin’ it wasn’t hurt, would make it go away, I guess.”

How could I not forgive him? In that intimate moment between the two of us, only the pattering of raindrops on the concrete to hear, he’d revealed himself to me. A part of himself that I had the strong inclination most people didn’t get the pleasure of knowing. I was ready to dive completely in, head first, to whatever was slowly igniting between the two of us.

My small hand embraced his now stubble lined face. “Thank you. For welcoming me into your world, and for the apology.”

He slept over that night, my last conscious memory for the evening being tucked neatly into the deep pit of his arm and dozing off into sleepy oblivion to the light strokes of his hands to my hair. Heat waves rising from his naked chest, to my own creating a pocket of comfort amid the cracks of thunder.

 I awoke at daylight with an intense stretch to be a messy, pink penned note folded in the now empty spot where he had slept, his indention left heavy next to me.

Liv,

Didn’t wanna wake you. Headed to Mac’s to have doc take a look at the hand. Good luck today. Give that shit head Mendez hell for me.

Colt

TAGS: @eap1935 @torialeysha

[lightsandlostbells]

Druck season 2, episode 5 reaction

Sorry this is late! You can blame it partly on the ~polar vortex~ and partly on fatigue. 

anyway, who’s ready to solve the great mystery of the ages, Whose Dick Is That

Episode 5

Clip 1 - Hotel Hardenberg

The doorbell is ringing. Mia wakes up in utter contentment, love that little shot of her foot stirring. The apartment seems to have been tidied up and Alexander’s bed on the floor put away.

Alexander has left her Post-Its as a parting gesture, there’s one on her phone with a heart. Charming move! He comments that she snores. Also charming from a certain perspective (that perspective is Mia is adorable). His other Post-Its in the apartment indicate that he’s made her rosehip tea and thank her for staying at Hotel Hardenberg, what a dork. 

Mia gets up to go but then strips the bed. A sign of her compulsive neatness and need for order, especially after that order has been broken by staying at Alexander’s? Or just her wanting to be a thoughtful house guest? Or her wanting to erase the evidence of her presence? All three?

On the way out the door, Mia runs into Björn, who describes himself as a friend of Alex. So, probably not his brother. He’d tell her if he were his brother, right? Saying “I’m Alex’s brother” seems more trustworthy for most people than “I’m Alex’s friend.” And he gave his real name, we know that Alex is referring to a Björn in his text messages with Sam, so Björn can’t have been worried about Alex telling Mia about him and Mia knowing who he is.

Björn says he’s here to get something. I sure bet Alex doesn’t know about that! Something shady is happening! He asks her name and Mia gives it to him. Ohhh, dear girl, you don’t know it but that was probably not a good move. (The biggest plot twist would be if Björn was some totally harmless guy that Alexander had wronged, so Björn was trying to avoid him at all costs and Alexander was trying to find him and apologize.) (I 100% do not believe that is the case but damn it would be a trip.)

The clip started with the doorbell ringing so that must have been Björn. Was he trying to see if Alex was home so he could sneak in while the place was empty? Because evidently Björn got into the building fine, and usually there’s better security in those places, and he’s the one who opens the apartment door, not Mia, so he must have had a key. My guess is that Björn is like the sister’s boyfriend/ex/friend who would have had access to the apartment before Alex moved in.

Alexander sent her a text that he’s in London, doing business/real estate stuff for a few days. #ishereallythatrich - Heh, but what are the odds he’s doing something else?

So I bet that’ll come back eventually, that Mia saw Björn entering the apartment, and she didn’t tell Alex right away. But damn, imagine if Mia hadn’t woken up with the doorbell and Björn walked in on her while she was sleeping. Or if she hadn’t left yet and caught him rummaging around through Alexander’s shit.

Clip 2 - Linn the apartment ghost

One week later due to the hiatus, Mia and Alex are texting. When he asks her how she’s doing, she starts to type out a friendly reply but then stops herself, but unfortunately Alex can see when she’s typing

He asks her to go out for a drink, she says she has to study. They have some “banter” and I know they are flirting but it just makes me tired that part of their dynamic is “I won’t go out with you” followed by “Are you sure?” It’s an issue that extends beyond Winterberg, Noorhelm, or any other version of this pairing - men are socialized not to take no for an answer from women, and it’s too prevalent in real life to really get over it in fiction. Like this texting could’ve been about anything else, more banter about them snoring (Mia says he also snores) or her playing the piano or his Post-Its or literally anything other that this no-yes-no dynamic. 

It’s exacerbated because it is a case of “Well, she doesn’t really mean no, she does actually like him.” Mia almost seems disappointed when Alex stops texting back. And again, one of my big problems with how Noorhelm and all its equivalents have been portrayed is that we don’t need more stories where a girl keeps saying no when it turns out she kind of means yes. You can’t separate this individual story from the larger cultural trend. 

LMAO, Linn announces her presence by loudly slurping on a drink behind Mia  She just wanted to see what’s up with Mia and has been standing there a while. This moment is played for laughs but I think it’s also meant to be a reminder that hey, Mia and Alex aren’t in their own little bubble, other people exist and are eventually going to find out that something’s happening with them. It’s almost like Mia has been caught. 

New shot during the end titles of Mia in a hoodie looking dramatic. So far we haven’t seen any of these little end scenes in action. Are these just for promo? I think it’s more likely that they’ll happen in a later episode, I just find it interesting that none of them have taken place yet.

Clip 3 - Dicks in the air

Photocopies of boobs and blurred out dick drift by like tumbleweeds with nipples as Mia heads into the school. A girl hands her a boob picture for some reason, as if Mia needed one for personal use.

When she steps into the school, there’s boobs and ass and dick and the middle finger everywhere. We can hear a literal buzz as people observe. Accompanied is graffiti that says Abi Chaker Clan 2019 - 12 Years Family! Lmao, is that a teacher frantically trying to gather up copies on the stairs? You try your hardest, sister.

Kiki steps up and observes, takes a picture of the display. Where have you been, Kiki? Last we saw you, you were breaking Carlos’ heart.

Kiki thinks she recognizes Alex’s penis in the pictures, and Mia is like “get that picture out of my face plz.” Kiki hands it to Mia as she walks away, and Mia can’t resist a glimpse of the dick, which is blurred out for us viewers, by the way. I’m just laughing at the thought of Kiki the dick detective solving this whodunnit. Remember on New Year’s where Mia was kinda “???” about Kiki’s future profession and ended up with influencer? I would say Kiki’s true calling is solving phallic-related crimes and picking dicks out of a lineup except, as we learn later in the episode, she ain’t that great at it after all.

Hanna shows up in an echo of Kiki’s entrance and is like, WTF, we’re in trouble. They see Alexander and Jonas hugging it out in the distance and are like, when did they become friends? So I’m guessing this graduation prank is taking the place of the Yakuza fight, and it’s Alex and Jonas who have the suspicious friendship rather than P-Chris and Isak. I APPROVE. The Yakuza thing has always been out of place IMO, tonally, and I didn’t like how the fight ended up leading to excuses against William smashing a bottle on a dude’s head. This prank is something that’s serious but not so serious that I’d consider it a red flag/dealbreaker against Alexander. It’s also a lot closer to Mia personally, and affects her and basically all the characters - the Yakuza thing felt weirdly disconnected from Noora and the girl squad, only something that involved them because they happened to witness that one fight and some of their friends/boyfriends were involved. 

It’s also a replacement for the Penetrators trashing the cabin, and I fully realize that this is hypocritical but I also prefer this somehow even though it’s functionally the same thing, destruction of property. Maybe because again, it’s more connected to the rest of the characters as a plot point.

There’s this rather extravagant shot of someone throwing a bunch of the copies over the banister and they float down around Mia, just a ton of boobs and butts and dick wafting like snowflakes, and it’s so ridiculous that I love it.

Clip 4 - Mia keeps some interesting things in her bag

Leonie’s leading a meeting, again. This time it looks like more of the graduating class, not just the committee. She explains that somebody, probably several people, broke into the school Saturday night and made copies of their …. She trails off and Carlos helpfully supplies the displayed body parts with anatomical precision.

Someone give Leonie’s actress an award for that brief look of disdain at Carlos after he says “You’re welcome” and before she turns away. 

Because someone sprayed the Abi Motto on the wall, the school thinks someone from our year did it. Carlos and Jonas call it bullshit, fake news. Just as an aside, I’ve seen the term “fake news” pop up as a joke in SO many films and TV shows recently, including that Kurt Russell sexy Santa movie, and like ... I certainly understand why and I’m not opposed to “ironic” usage, I’m also just aghast that we’re at a point where it’s mainstream, you know? 2019, man.

Anyway, one of the new and expensive copy machines broke from the prank and “copy orgy”. Sam whispers to Amira that they didn’t just make copies - so was there a literal orgy on the copy machine? Or just the weight of people’s asses broke the machine? 

Kiki says she thinks it was Alexander, and I thought it was extremely fishy for Kiki to be so quick to blame Alexander, and that maybe she was involved in the prank or even trying to frame him, but obviously that turned out to not be the case. So I think she just wanted him to be guilty so he could get in trouble. And she’s telling Mia, who she thinks will be an ally in blaming Alex.

So now they owe 4500 euros to the school. Either who did it owns up and settles it with their insurance, or the school takes it out of the Abi account. Leonie gives the culprits a chance to reveal themselves. Man, what if Leonie was involved? The perfect crime, the least likely suspect…

Alex smiles over at Mia but that expression fades, Sara waggles some xeroxed breasts at him and he smirks. So those are her boobs, right? She seems pretty proud.

No one confesses to the crime, so Leonie says they have to raise the money again, thanks for nothing. Lmao, Leonie is such a hall monitor type that she’s really growing on me.

There’s some tense music as Mia is exiting the room, and of course Alexander is waiting for her. She walks right by him, to the door. On second thought, she turns around, pretends to rummage in her bag (we see she still has the dick pic so I guess the possibility that it’s Alexander’s is enough for her to keep it around) and then pulls out what she was looking for - a middle finger. That’s so petty, I’m in love with her. She goes out the door and Alexander does not seem pleased.

I mean, to be fair to him, Mia did jump to conclusions right away. (Conclusions that happened to be right, although not about the dick pic.) And I think this was in a way about re-establishing the natural order of things, getting back to “Alexander’s a selfish asshole” territory rather than her liking him, in addition to the whole class being punished. To be fair to her, too ... it’s only recently that he’s shown some decency, and he has a history of doing crappy things. 

Alex was texting Mia on Saturday, though, right? About wanting to go out and get a drink with friends? So maybe that will be used to exonerate him, he was busy with other people. (EDIT from the future: Lol, nah, his “drink with friends” turned into the prank, I guess.)

Clip 5 - Team Michi

Mia has handed over the dick pic to Hans for his opinion, I guess? Hans seems to be a penis connoisseur so I understand the sentiment. And his opinion is that it was a “heavy petting orgy” at least. He asks Michi for his opinion. Good, Michi is there! I think it’s nice if Hans is getting a little romance of his own, although he better be treating Michi right and not taking him for granted.

Hans teases Mia about why she wants to know so badly about what happened at the school on Saturday night, and if she isn’t a bit jealous. She says curiosity isn’t the same as jealousy. Sure, but the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

Mia goes to ask Linn for her opinion (Linn is sleeping already) and Michi feeds Hans. They have a little couple moment. Aww. HANS, TREAT MICHI RIGHT. He’s cute and he makes food for you. 

I’m wondering if the whole Hans/Michi thing is going to be a parallel to Mia and Alex, where a relationship that didn’t seem feasible at first becomes something real, and maybe they’ll have some relationship difficulty when Mia and Alex do. Though in the beginning of the season Hans and Michi seemed to parallel Alex and Kiki quite clearly, or at least Mia was making that connection, so who knows.

Clip 6 - Always look before crossing

Mia is leaving for school in the morning, and who should be there but Alex with two drinks in his hands. Rosehip tea or cocoa if he’s feeling sentimental. 

We don’t hear what he’s saying because Mia has her earbuds in, so it’s just the faintest sound of his voice over the music. She ignores him and goes to unlock her bike, he keeps talking, she points to her earbuds to indicate that she’s not listening. We see him mouth “please” and she finally takes out her earbuds and accepts the drink. Which I would too, because I’m shameless and thirsty and I wouldn’t turn down a free warm beverage in the morning.

There’s a little editing blip because in the clip, the music doesn’t cut out right as she takes out the earbuds, it’s a moment or two later when she puts them in her pockets. They fixed it in the full episode, though, and it cuts out when she takes out the earbuds.

Alex clearly sees Mia taking the drink as a victory and smiles. They walk along side by side by a moment until Mia calls him out for being spoiled and doing whatever he wants and not owning up to it. He says they were drunk. Wait, so he DID do it???? And he says she’s blowing it way out of proportion?? I’m surprised because I thought we’d learn that Alex didn’t do it after all. It seemed too obvious, Kiki was so eager to blame him that it seemed like a misdirect. And I mean, I don’t think it’s right that he and the others are making the entire graduating class reap the consequences, but I don’t think the prank is an unforgivable thing he did in itself. 

They argue a little and she’s about to bike across the road when Alex grabs her and pulls her back just as a car goes by, honking. She’s like … this doesn’t change anything. Alex is like, well it kinda does. “I saved your life, Mia Winter!” Well, she was distracted by him in the first place, so consider it even? (I binge-watched Russian Doll on Netflix this weekend so I can’t help but think this moment could have taken a drastically different turn.)

Mia bikes away but is smiling, which is awfully chipper for someone who just had a brush with death. I would be in the fetal position the rest of the day.

Alex stares after her and walks in the other direction. Errr … away from the school? I assume he was going back to his car, parked closer to Mia’s place.

So that mystery was done solved pretty quickly and anti-climatically. Kinda disappointing because I think it’d be fun to drag it out just a teensy tiny bit more - the mystery element of Skam is something that’s really underrated, when you think about it, even though it’s a large part of what kept people watching in real time.

Clip 7 - Sam just drops a bomb

We get a closeup of Sam blowing a bubble with her gum and then popping it. Like how she’s about to burst that bubble about Mia and Alex? 

The girls are discussing the prank and that Alexander was in on it. Kiki is like, I knew it. Damn, she really wants him to go down. I don’t blame her, though.

When Amira asks how Mia knows, Sam says Alexander probably told her. WHOA HOLD THE PHONE. Druck is throwing curveballs everywhere this episode. I did not expect to see Sam reveal this information so quickly and casually; I thought she’d save it for a more dramatic moment later on, after Mia and Alex definitely were a thing. Sam says Mia is always talking to him, and Mia rushes to explain that it was all because of Kiki (lies) and she told him what she thought of him (well, that part is true) and that Leonie told her about Alexander (another lie - not looking good for Mia).

All the girls get a text at the same time. Sam says her battery sucks so we conveniently get Hanna reading the text out loud for us viewers. Alexander has arranged a benefit concert to make up for the damage so no one has to pay extra. BOY SAM WILL BE PERFORMING, and there will be a surprise musical act, too. I’m just glad to see the toilet man again. 

The girls are excited and Hanna’s like, TIME TO STOP STUDYING. I don’t think she needs much of an excuse, really.

Alex texts Mia to say if she doesn’t come tomorrow, he’ll cancel everything 😊 GODDAMMIT. I realize Alexander is supposed to be a dickhead, but do we really have to keep this manipulative crap? Can he not just be like … arrogant and jerkish without that element?

Kiki looks at Mia getting another text, and you can see the suspicion all over her face. Sam’s comment struck a match.

Clip 8 - Mia crosses that bridge, y’all

I love when we get a long-ass Friday clip, thanks, Druck!

Mia shows up to the benefit concert by herself, and Toilet Sam is rapping onstage. Hello again! She runs into Kiki and says she’ll join the group in a minute. Does she need to talk to Alexander first?

We see Mia putting on that bright red lipstick in the mirror. I am sure she’s doing it just because she likes the color and not because there are any Alexander-related motivations that she would never admit.

Mia notices Alex skulking across the club and staring at her like some kind of Edward Cullen wannabe. It’s only episode 5, I guess they still have time to pull off a sudden vampire twist. (And I mean ... Alexander did just pull Mia out of the path of a car ... a Twilight parallel if I ever saw one.)

Of course Alex sends her a text telling her she looks gorgeous. It looks like he wants her to drink with him; however, Sarah comes up to him and gives him a hug and kisses him on the cheek and talks to him. He doesn’t look very enthused, but Mia smirks and shakes her head at him. That Alexander, up to his old tricks! Between that and the copy orgy I’m sure she’s thinking Alexander and Sarah have a thing.

People dance and drink to Toilet Sam’s performance. We see Jonas getting really wasted, and Matteo seems kinda done with it, so it’s Hanna who pulls drunk Jonas off the dance floor, and he tries to kiss her. MY HEART. But she pushes him back and asks what’s up with him. He says, you’re what’s up with me. THE ANGST. I said this last season, but Anselm Bresgott is a great actor. He’s able to convey a lot of vulnerability with his eyes. 

When this happened I thought that maybe instead of drunk Eva/Vilde makeouts we would get sad intoxicated Jonas trying to kiss Matteo in this clip, and I was all for THE ANGST that would bring. Either that or Jonas was gonna make out with Toilet Sam. 

(He did not make out with either of them - yet - but it’s OK because there turned out to be enough of THE ANGST as it was.)

Alexander comes onstage and Toilet Sam gives him a shout-out for organizing, and that they beat their goal (by almost half, awesome). They’re giving the rest of the money to plant trees on campus, to make up for all the dead ones they spent showcasing students’ genitalia. How noble!

Sarah is the surprise performance of the night! So her contact with Alexander was not necessarily about them hooking up, but perhaps her thanking him for giving her the opportunity? Sarah sings idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish. 

After some more eye contact with Alexander, Mia leaves the room and goes upstairs. But Alexander stands in her path and won’t let her go to the bathroom. Come on, dude. You’ve been doing some things right but this episode you’re doing all these little entitled things.

He’s like, Mia, what do you want. He fixed everything? Everyone’s happy, so what’s her problem? LMAO again at this entitled attitude. She owes him nothing! The thing is - even if she really really likes him and wants to kiss him and be with him - she still owes him nothing! She’s allowed not to act on her feelings because she feels it’s a bad idea! Get out of here with this attitude that Mia is doing him wrong because she likes him but won’t give in and be with him.

He lets down his hood and rakes his hand through his hair in a strangely vampire-ish way, and says there’s something between them. He likes her a lot, but he’s tired of these games. Dude, you’re the one starting many of these games now. Yeah, Mia is definitely responsible for much of what happened earlier in the season, and she could certainly be better about not contacting him, but he’s also the one showing up at her place with a drink and telling her he’ll call everything off if she doesn’t show up to the benefit. He gives her the lines about if she doesn’t like him, say it to his face and he’ll leave her alone forever. Just as he says that, Kiki comes out of the bathroom, and there’s some heavy eye contact between her and Mia, and oh right, that’s what Mia doesn’t like him, that’s why Mia can’t be with him.

Heh, he put down his hoodie to confess to her, because he was being open about his feelings, and then when she’s rejected him, he puts it back up. He’s ~putting up his wall again. 

Mia then goes into the bathroom and has a mini-breakdown, as the song switches from the cover to the original. She’s teary, she’s wiping off her lipstick. Props again to Milena because she’s really selling this season. She looks for some toilet paper, but there’s only the cardboard for the roll. So she goes in her purse for something and comes up with the Post-It Alex left her about Hotel Hardenberg. Ahhhh, now that’s a nice little detail. I’m one of those people who just ... does not clean out her purse until she buys a new purse, lmao, so I can imagine Mia shoved it in there and forgot about it, without being very sentimental about it at the time. But I like that it came back at this crucial moment.

Mia grabs her coat and runs out of the club after him. When she catches up to him, they’re on opposite sides of a bridge, so we know what’s gonna happen. Someone’s gotta cross, or they have to meet in the middle.

She says it’s cold, he offers her a beanie, she comes forward and shows her own beanie, they both put on beanies at the same time. It’s a big beanie fest. What’s important that Mia crossed the bridge and closed the gap. The symbolism is obvious, but ... well, it’s there.

She says that she likes him, but doesn’t want to like him. He’s an egocentric prick, but then he was clever and funny and nice that one Friday, but then he disappears for a week and pulls that stunt copying his dick and plastering it around the school. Alex is like, who said that was my dick? Mia is like, well whose dick was it? Alex nods over her shoulder and we see Jonas stumbling around drunk as fuck. LMAO. Mia had Jonas’ dick pic in her backpack. She was going around thinking she got a glimpse of Alexander’s junk, showing it off to her roommate, and it was Jonas’ all along! And Hanna didn’t notice it was Jonas’ dick??? 

I mean, now I get why Alexander and Jonas bonded so quickly. They’re dick twins, if Kiki can mistake one for the other. I’m sure there’s some situation where that would come in handy (no pun intended?) 

Are the two of you going to help out this completely drunk Jonas who’s by himself and who’s wandering into the street before he gets hit by a car or something...

Alex is like, do I look like someone who whips out his dick when he’s drunk? (I mean...) His penis needs to stay an enigma. Okay, goddammit, that’s funny. But Mia correctly points out that every other girl at school knows his penis, so it’s not an enigma.

When Alex is like, now what, Mia looks past him and says, “Fuck,” and when he turns back to her she’s kissing him. Damn, she’s so smooth. They dramatically kiss and he doinks his forehead against hers, it’s quite sweet. Then Alex goes off into the night, probably to find a few necks to drain. He rummages around in his coat for a moment, making quite a show, and of course it’s his middle finger he finds and flashes at Mia. Flipping each other off becoming their romantic couples’ gesture? I’m here for it. 

He also does a little skip hop as he goes. Mia looks after him, smiling. Oh, Mia. Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

So that shot during the end credits, of her looking outside at something, is not her in the first kiss scene! When will any of these moments happen?

Social Media/General Comments

The week long hiatus was explained in-universe as an “insta detox” among the girls. Matteo did not let that stop him from posting his regularly scheduled memes, though. #fuckinstadetox

Hanna texts Matteo about why Jonas and Alex are acting all buddy-buddy, which we see in the clips, too. Matteo says he doesn’t know. I thought it was meant to be a red herring and that Alex was probably not directly involved in the prank, but Jonas probably was, and maybe Jonas decided to bro it up with Alex since he liked his motto. Except then Alex turned out to have participated in the prank. I guess their friendship escalated when Jonas had his dick out on the copy machine.

But I like seeing a William have friendly interactions with other characters. That was something I thought was kind of lacking with him in Skam, that we didn’t get a ton of insight into his other friendships. He didn’t seem to care much about Noora’s friends, and he was close with P-Chris obviously, but there wasn’t a ton of detail there as to why or what their relationship was like outside of girl drama. I understand that not every character has to be extroverted and buddy-buddy with others, but it makes me think a lot more of Alex as a person when we see him forming bonds with people who he does not want to bone.

Matteo then texted Jonas about the thing between him and Alex, and Jonas jokes that he couldn’t resist Alex’s face. Matteo is jealous! But totally not really jealous, you know, JOKING jealous. Totally. And when Jonas teases him about it, he says there’s no reason to be, Matteo is the only little bitch in his life. I legit want to pass out. And I think Matteo did too, because he sent back a heart emoji. Six minutes later. What happened in those six minutes? Was Matteo just sitting there staring at his phone, wondering how the hell to respond to that? Getting butterflies and heart palpitations in his skinny stoner body?

There are pictures of the benefit with the girl squad sans Mia ... after she left to run after Alex, maybe? ~Foreshadowing?

I’m Mia right now. I was so annoyed with little things Alexander did in this episode, and I’m still pissed at some of his past behavior, and yet I am charmed by him despite it all. It’s heavily due to the performance. I can’t believe Alexander was one of my least favorite Williams across the remakes based on the first season, and he’s skyrocketing here just by virtue of having a personality.

I also can’t believe I had doubts about Mia in the first season. She has my whole heart now, fuckups and all. 

Girl Sam and boy Sam were rapping together at benefit, according to IG. What if boy Sam replaced Kasper and made out with girl Sam in the finale, since it’s unlikely Manfred will fill that role (or at least I hope to God not)? I mean, if Kiki’s ultimately gonna be chill about Mia and Alexander, Hanna being chill about Sam and Sam wouldn’t be too much of a stretch.

In an alternate universe, this season turned into the German remake of American Vandal from here on out and we spent the next five episodes trying to figure out who covered the school in dicks.

I’m not German so please feel free to correct me/clarify stuff!

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[sparda3g]

Food Wars! Shokugeki no Soma Chapter 270 Review

The case is closed. Monarch is defeated by the power of motherly love. Now Soma and Megumi can go home without worrying about the Midnight Chefs. Well, that’s what I would like to say until this chapter dropped the bomb. Just as I thought, this mini-arc was done to build up a grander stage. With the shocking development at the end, it has gotten me interested to say the least.

For a mini-arc, I thought it was good with some relaxation and silly antics, even though it was designed that way. Monarch went from overlord edgy man to a mama’s boy. What a character development. At least it is humorous now with him remixing his language while acting like a kindergarten. I don’t blame him; Megumi is a sunshine mother.

It’s funny that I once said that Megumi is going to make him her pawn. When I said that, I meant in a tyranny way, not a family business. Oh well, seeing how he is in full command under her, I guess this is the most gentle dominant relationship ever. I chuckled at the nickname, “Mama Megumi.” The problem is solved and everyone that went missing have returned. But who cares. That chef wants a rematch right now. Chef’s pride is a scary sin.

With everything being settled, the arc can end on a happy note and Soma and Megumi can return home with good news. Even when far apart, the dynamic between Soma and Erina is sweet. I like how Soma sounds like he did a lot of work as well, when in reality, he was more enthused by the scenery. Good work, team! The only missing piece is why the Midnight Chefs are even invading in the first place. That’s a good point. That sound to me a setup for a bigger arc to come.

After fans sweat over Erina working out, she informs Soma that they’re not the only one out on a mission. In fact, there are many locations where the Midnight Chefs are striking at. However, all of those locations are already taken care of. Everyone is dealt by the Elite Ten. Now it’s a good time to introduce the new lineup.

It’s a nice way to introduce the members and their position. I’m a bit surprised that Eizan is still with the Elite Ten, especially now that it’s run by “good” people. He now takes the Eighth Seat, so a step down (or up?) from last time. I’m also surprised on how “normal” he is so far. Is he going through a redemption phase? He has been a punching bag, so now it’s a good time to change.

Kuga was expected to be a member of Elite Ten. This time, he takes the Third Seat. What a huge leap from Eighth. I still like his witty charm. It makes sense since he is pretty talented. Same can be said for Eizan.  Isshiki reprises his role as well, but now, he takes the Second Seat. I like this because keep in mind, Soma was selected by Erina, which is given, but Isshiki is placed there because of his skills. It’s logical and I can accept this. I also like the sadist side of his; lately, he has given me chills.

Part of me think the terror side of his got the rub from living with Nene in the past. I thought of this when Nene appears on panel. I’m glad that she is still part of Elite Ten, though she has dropped to Ninth Seat. Regardless, she is still scary as ever, yet the guy she captured is “turned on” by her intimidation. Definitely a villain with that sort of kink. I got to say, lately, the series I follow have female characters sporting long hair after appearing with their short one. Therefore, I am easily awed by their appearance. In short, she looks prettier. New glasses helps too.

Takumi is on a boat chase because this is a Mission Impossible manga. He takes the Seventh Seat and I am fine with that. Nice to see the Aldini Brothers working together again. Also, Isami is skinny again; we know what season it is now. This was a fun way to show off all members in their seating positon. I’m surprised Mimasaka didn’t get one though. I wonder what happened to him.

Now it’s time for the shocking development. It is comical how Monarch, who has gone through the coolest guy ever phase, doesn’t want to cooperate with Soma, but when Mama Megumi asks, he gives all in. Whatever works, I guess. So, the Midnight Chefs were assigned to prepare food for a certain party, one with plenty of Mafia Families. Sounds like we are in The Godfather manga now. They don’t normally cross paths with other members, because they usually work solo. However, for this event, it’s an exception. The creep still wants more Nene’s cold eyes glare. Isshiki’s stare haunts me for some reason.

The strange part is that there was one noir that conquered the party alone. The person’s dish was so amazing, it got everyone, guests and even other noirs, foodgasm. Now that’s how you handle the hit. Even Monarch, who adores Megumi to high heaven, admits that she is nowhere near his level. What if she told you that’s not even her final form? It was that guy that spread the word about Shokugeki; motivated them to go over the area and use their system to their likings. Why? No one knows. Even to them, he remained hidden.

Basically, Midnight Chefs only appeared in the open because of that stranger. You can say that they wouldn’t be a problem or none of Tootsuki Academy’s business until they bring trouble to them. Then, it leads to the big reveal. I thought it was going to remain a secret as well when Monarch got lost in his train of thought. Tsukuda was dancing around the reveal with Soma and Megumi encouraging him that he can remember. Kind of amusing to see. But it dies out when the name is given.

The shady man announced himself as Saiba.

Part of me thought it was Azami in “Shokugeki no Soma 2: Azami’s Revenge.” This development however is pretty interesting. Now, it could still be him, using his name for alibi, but I think it’s soon to pull that off. I doubt it is Joichiro. Otherwise, I will cue “You Damn Traitor” scene. I do believe that it may in fact be his relative. Maybe it could be his evil twin brother. Joking aside, it would be logical since perhaps a relative can also be a professional chef.

The chef and landlady remind the fans that Saiba is not a known name in the world of chef, but Joichiro proved well-known name isn’t a determined factor. With that in mind, do we even know if he has a brother or not? What if the culprit is doing this out of anger at Joichiro for leaving the Academy or even betraying the family name, Saiba? What if the name Saiba is tainted with bad history, hence Joichiro converting to Yukihira? After all, why change your surname when Yukihira, to my knowledge, isn’t a loyal family name? This mystery really got me curious yet fascinated.

This was a pretty good and interesting chapter. It was rewarding for going through a mini-arc. I thought the payoff would be small yet sweet, but instead, we got something really interesting. It was nice to see the remaining Elite Ten Seats and their usual characteristics with few adjustments. The art is solid, though I can imagine fans feeling overwhelmed by Erina’s workout session or Nene’s new look. The reveal was pretty good. Despite the strangeness with Mafia and such, I look forward to the next development that may soon become personal with Soma.

[exquisitley-obsessed]

The Three Women Of Durin - The Morning (41)

MASTERLIST FOR THS STORY

(not my gif)

After Rosie had shared the positive news with her friends she had returned to her chambers for a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow was a big day, tomorrow they would let Bard have a share of the gold and, let him and his people stay in the mountain. And if they were lucky, they might even get Thranduil to stay as well, but for now, they were going to just concentrate on Bard.

Rosie slept like a log, as did the others, for the night was peaceful, no birds sang, no wind howled. The only sound that could be heard was the breath of each other. But there was one person not asleep, one person, whose dreams in real life were bigger than those in their head.

Kili stood on the gate, the cool air of the mountain brushing through his dark mop of hair. The world around him was quiet, yet the thoughts in his head were loud. So loud, that he did not realize the figure standing behind him.

“I thought I’d find you here,” Came a smooth voice. Turning around he gazed upon the image of Frankie, she was wearing something that wasn’t hers, something white and wispy that he could have sworn Cece had been dancing with Fili in a few days ago.

“That is not your dress,” He simply smiled up at her as she made her way over to him, a figure in the moonlight.

“Correct,” She smiled back as she climbed the barrier and resting on the cool stone, her legs slipping out from her dress and dangling over the edge. Kili tried to look away.

“It feels like the calm before the storm,” Kili said softly after a moment, looking out at where Dale sat, now a dim glow in the night, “Something’s about to happen,”

“No shit Sherlock,” Frankie chuckled.

“What does that mean?” Kili asked, turning to her.

“Well, Sherlock’s like a really big famous detective- “

“Detective?”

“Oh god,” Franke said, tipping her head back slightly, “If you don’t know what a detective is then there’s no point in me even trying,” She said playfully, Kili simply smiled to himself as he turned back to the view.

“Detective,” He said once more, familiarizing his tongue with the mysterious word, “You are full of mystery milady,” He then smiled.

“Thank you,” Frankie said softly turning her head slightly away, not before Kili caught a red glow on her cheeks, illuminated by moonlight. “One could only dream to be as mysterious as me,”

“Ah, of course, of course,” Kili smiled back before a comforting silence fell on the scene, “Speaking of dreams,” Kili continued, “What’s your dream?”

“What’s my what?” Frankie asked stretching out her legs.

“You know, your dream,” Kili said as if it were obvious.

“Well...do you mean that in any particular way? Or...,”

“Well," Kili began turning his head to the sky, "For my kin, it's just this thing where every dwarf has a dream. I'm sure there's some religious history to the idea but...I never listened to that part. I grew up being told, by my mother, that we all eventually conjure one ultimate dream. Like the Arkenstone of dreams,” Kili started and was interrupted by Frankie’s chuckle.

“You should put that on a t-shirt,” She smiled and Kili smiled too, for a t-shirt was, in fact, something he knew.

“Anyways, my mother’s dream was to see her sons grow old,” Frankie felt something hit her in her heart, “Uncle’s was to reclaim the mountain and give his people what they wanted, and I’m pretty sure Fili recently told me that his dream was to tie two elves in a physical knot...but he could have been joking,”

“You think?” Frankie spluttered as she grinned.

“But what’s your dream?” Kili then said, turning to her, she thought for a moment.

“I don’t know…um…I guess, in my old world...my dream was to do something meaningful,” She eventually said.

“What do you mean?” Kili asked raising an eyebrow.

“Well, you see, in my world we don’t have battles with life or death situations, no, we have politics and lawyers and businesses,” Frankie sighed swinging her feet, “We don’t get to have these true moments of going to war with a dragon to reclaim a mountain filled with gold…that just doesn’t happen. We read about it in books, see it in movies, dream about it! But that will simply never happen to us.

"We don’t even have elves or hobbits…trolls, orcs, magic! None of that! But, it’s okay, we get presidential debates between Hillary and Trump so it’s all good!”," Frankie was lost deep in thought, and whatever was coming up in her brain, was coming out of her mouth. “You know, back home, I always thought it would be cool to face problems that weren’t just about math, or science, or anything like that. But, true problems that test the natures of everything you believe, problems which take courage and bravery to solve, not test scores. And now I’m here. And I’ve actually been in battle, killed bad guys, done justice, saved lives! I’ve faced dragons and orcs and elves! I’ve ran from death! And now I’ve done all that…how can I possibly return to my old life? How can I possibly go back and go to university, take tests for a job that…I don’t even want…” Frankie trailed off.

“What do you want?” Kili asked softly, "What's your new dream?"

“I don’t know…” Frankie eventually answered, “Defeat Sauron? Get drunk with Galadriel? Throw a house party like the ones back home in Mirkwood? I don’t know…” She looked back at the view, “But whatever it is…it’s going to be incredible,”

The next day Cece found herself being jostled awake by a rather irate Fili.

"What? What?" Cece spluttered groggily had she stumbled to her feet.

"They're here," Fili said seriously giving her a certain look which pierced through Cece.

"Okay," She replied before taking one of her daggers and slipping it into her belt before turning back to Fili, "What's wrong?" She asked once she realized Fili wasn't moving towards the door.

"I'm worried," He said as if it were funny. "I'm actually worried,"

"Hey, hey," Cece said softly as she moved towards him and placed a hand on each of his arms, "It's okay to be worried,"

"That's not what I was taught growing up," He said with a smile although his eyes were sad.

"Fili...everything's going to be okay, I can reassure you that because I know this story, it's plot, it's characters. And I now know you guys better than ever, and if I say it's going to be okay, then god damn it, it's going to be okay," Cece said sternly. Fili looked up at her and gave a curt nod, the confidence growing within, "Besides, we're going to work things out today...with or without Thorin's help,"

Rosie awoke with a sharp dwarven boot in her ribs, which wasn't surprising considering she had fallen asleep on the floor. Groggily she looked up and found an icy pair of eyes staring back at her.

"You know, you're like my own personal alarm clock," Rosie said happily, still in a good mood after the events of the previous night.

"Get dressed and come to the overlook," Thorin simply replied back, his voice low and haunting.

"What, why?" Rosie asked, her happy mood dissolving in the air. Thorin had already moved across the room and was about to disappear when he turned back around.

"They're here,"

Before they knew what was going on, Rosie, Frankie and Cece were standing atop the stone gate, each of them wearing a minor layer of armour for the time being. The stood with the rest of the company watching as two figures made their way through a sea of golden-armed elves. One was atop a rather large stag and the other, a horse. Both sat straight as the elves twisted and turned out of their way, forming a path which led straight to the stone gate.

Soon they came so close and you could identify both Thranduil and Bard, stony-faced. No later, they eventually emerged out of the sea of gold metal and stood, clear and strong before them. Then, in a blink of an eye, Thorin drew an arrow and placed it in his bow before shooting it, inches before Thranduil’s stag.

“I will put the next one in-between your eyes,” Thorin declared which earned a few cheers from some members of the company, most stayed quiet. Thranduil stared down at where the arrow had hit the icy covered stone and then back up at the gate where he made eye contact with Rosie. Rosie responded by widening her eyes slightly as if to egg him on.

“We’ve come to tell you,” Thranduil said clearly, his voice echoing out over the stony scene, “Payment for your debt has been offered, and accepted,” Rosie reached a hand down to the shoulder of Bilbo who stood before her, squeezing it tightly.

“What payment?” Thorin spat, “I gave you nothing, you have nothing,” Rosie felt Bilbo tremble slightly under her fingertips. Thranduil simply turned to Bard who looked away, then, slowly, he reached his hand into his coat and pulled out the thrumming Arkenstone.

“We have this,” He said, raising the stone high in the air for all to see. The shock of seeing the Arkenstone rippled through many of the company, for others, it was not such a shock. Cece turned her head, however, to Thorin, who was caught in a trance as he stared at the stone, his face unreadable.

“The Arkenstone,” One of the dwarves breathed.

“Thieves!” Another called.

“How come you by the heir of our home?” Someone else hollered at the elf and man.

“That stone belongs to the king!” Someone a little way off to the right called, Bard brought his hand down and stared at the glowing gem.

“And the king may have it,” He said, tossing it in the air slightly before tucking it safely back into his coat, “With our good will,” Then Bard looked up, eyes piercing into those of Thorin’s, “But first, he must honour his word,” He said lowly. Thorin paused, staring down at the bowman, his eyes bright and alert.

“They’re taking us for fools,” He said under his breath, “It is a rouse, a filthy lie,” He said only loud enough for the company to hear. The girls watched as the others stared at their leader with shock and anger. “The Arkenstone is in this mountain! It is a trick!”

“It’s no trick,” Bilbo lurched forward and out of Rosie’s grasp before she could do or say anything. “The stone is real,” Bilbo said, with some confidence, moving forward and towards the sick king, “I gave it to them,”

The tension lay thick, like a fog that no one could see clearly through. As Thorin slowly turned away from the elf and man and towards the hobbit, almost everyone on the scene held their breath. Rosie glanced down at Bilbo before staring over the gate and at Thranduil and Bard who both nodded in response. Members of the company stared at Bilbo, everyone lost for words in their own way, some of them angry and some of them proud, all of them worried for the safety of the hobbit.

“You…” Thorin said, his hurt of Bilbo’s actions so clear in his face.

“I took it as my fourteenth share,” Bilbo said simply as Fili and Kili slowly moved closer to the hobbit, there to protect him if need be.

“You’d steal from me?” Thorin asked his voice low, a growl from his chest.

“Steal from you? No,” Bilbo said, “I may be a burglar, but I like to think I’m an honest one,” He said, not realizing the anger that was swelling inside Thorin’s features.

“Thorin,” Rosie started but Bilbo spoke up again.

“I’m willing for it to stand against my claim,” Bilbo said, his voice getting louder.

“Against your claim?” Thorin said as if it were a joke, a trick.

“Thorin,” Rosie said firmer.

“Your claim,” Thorin growled, “You have no claim over me you miserable rat!” He spat as he threw down his bow and arrow and moved closer to Bilbo.

“Thorin!” Rosie now cried moving closer and placing a hand on his arm, stopping him slightly. Bilbo simply looked up at Thorin, no fear in his eyes, only pity.

“I was going to give it you, many times I wanted to,” Bilbo said sadly. “But…”

“But what? Theif,” Thorin growled.

“You have changed Thorin,” Bilbo said accusingly, “The dwarf I met in Bag-End would never have gone back on his word! Would have never doubted the loyalty of his kin!” There was a pause as everyone awaited Thorin’s response, Bilbo had just shown a new side to him, a side to him that was daring the sick king.

“Do not speak to me, of loyalty,” Thorin growled as he moved closer, but Rosie’s hand on his arm was pulling him back. “Throw him from the rampart!” He cried and the shock of what he just said echoed throughout the whole company and not only that, but it travelled through Thranduil and Bard as well. Rosie, however, had had enough.

“Thorin!” She yelled, her voice the loudest yet. It drew all attention of the scene to her.

“What!” He cried back turning around to face her, Rosie paused for a moment before answers.

“He’s right!” She yelled so loudly it echoed at least thrice throughout the kingdom that was Erebor. "Can you not see it? The man you have become? Do you not wake up each god damn day and feel different. Because I'm telling you right here right now...you are! Almost everyone from here to god damn Mirkwood will agree with me...scrap that...here to fucking England!"

"And what place are you in to say such things?" He spat back, with equally as much anger, "What are you to me?" Rosie recoiled, taken aback.

"I'm your friend," She breathed, the words barely audible.

"Friend?" Thorin spat almost as if it were funny, "Friend?" He cried again, "We are not friends,"

"Thorin!" Bilbo joined in again, "Listen to what you are saying right now. Hear the words on your tongue!"

"No!" Thorin cried back, "There is nothing to hear! I don't have time for two traitors in my company...throw them off the rampart!"

"Thorin," Rosie breathed, her eyes turning glassy, "What did I do?"  But no one was listening to Rosie anymore.

"How dare you!" Cece moved forward, standing in front of her friend, "How dare you?" She repeated. Thorin simply looked down at Cece with a menacing glare.

"Get out of my way," He growled but Cece stayed put.

"You think you’re so big and tough now that you wear that crown on your head?" She cried, fearless, "Well...you look pretty god damn stupid if you ask me," These words took Thorin aback, and it was obvious his anger was wearing thin. Almost in slow motion, he raised his arm almost as if he was going to hit Cece and began to bring it down. Cece did not turn, she did not run, for she would stand there and take any blow that he would give, for there was nothing that Thorin could do physically, that could hurt her anymore. But Thorin's hand never met its mark, it never landed on Cece, no. For another one had caught it in the air and Thorin swivelled around to find his own, eldest nephew glaring back at him.

"Don't, even, think about it," Fili growled in a way that was similar to Thorins. Thorin stood in shock for a moment as he stared back at his nephew and for a few seconds, the old Thorin was visible, but as soon as he came, he left.

"Not you too!" He cried turning on Fili, "My own kin, heir to the throne!"

"I don't want the throne if this is what it does to you!" Fili retorted, going against everything he had ever said to Thorin.

"Me neither!" Kili joined in, running forward to meet his brother, "I would rather marry an orc than letting the gold sickness take me!" Thorin stood aghast as he looked down at his two nephews, his kin, the closest thing he ever had to sons.

"They're right," Came an old familiar voice from behind him, "They're all right," Thorin turned to stare up at Balin, the dwarf who had raised him and followed him to the ends of middle earth, now standing there, staring at him with sorrow and pity, "You're grandfather fell like old stone to the gold sickness, you were young a mere 20 years or so when the dragon attacked. But you were old enough to see the pain in his eyes, how the sickness tore apart every relationship he had, the one with you, your father...your grandmother," Thorin moved back, his heart-breaking at what he was hearing, "You saw what it did to him and yet you stand here, fallen into the same trap,"

"Thorin," A softer voice said and he turned to Frankie who had not yet spoken, "We're your friends, and we want to help, but we can only help...if you let us,"

Thorin stumbled backwards and into a stone pillar where he looked around at all the friendly faces, ones he had known for years and others only a few months. He looked around at this group of people who he had let down and disappointed in just the last few days. He looked at his family, the ones who he raised telling them of the dangers of the gold sickness, to the family's from the blue mountains who were not even of royal blood but yet, wanted to go on a life-risking adventure to reclaim what they once had. To all of the family's that had come along, dropping everything and leaving behind their loved ones to risk their lives for a journey. The Hobbit that they met in Bag-End who made their days more merry and brighter, who cooked and cleaned, hummed and sang, who was the bravest out of them all. To the three women, who had fallen from the skies above from a different universe to join them on his quest. Who sang weird and wonderful songs, who pierced the hearts of many with hope, who saved their lives more than once, who stuck together, no matter what. He stared at this group of people, his friends...his family, and he let out a choked sob.

"I'm sorry."

TAG LIST: @britney8793

[jamiedodgerart]

hey i marathoned da2 over the course of a week at @1500birds‘s house and drew a lot of stuff for it. there’s info in the captions but im gonna talk more about him under the cut (spoilers for all of da2)

this is mal hawke! (short for malcolm, he was named for his dad.) he’s a rogue

mal’s pretty purple, his emotions are behind 7 layers of jokes but he’s very dedicated to his family. he took his role as eldest sibling seriously- haha, no, he teased the shit out of carver and let bethany climb irresponsibly tall trees with him, but he did really care and look out for them. he was kinda lowkey a highwayman before the blight- probably did some poaching, robbed a few rich merchant vans, stuff like that. gambled and got drunk a lot.

blight happens, ogre smushes carver. in the moment, his mother blames mal. and although later she apologized and forgave him, he never forgot, and never forgave himself.

(aveline killed the ogre btw. mal was taking care of grunts, halfway across the field)

he joined the smugglers when they got to kirkwall. it wasn’t too far from what he did before and he wasn’t keen on going out of his way to harm people. he was good at finishing fights, though, and he gained a reputation for it over his year with the smugglers. it got his family into the city, and for that it was worth it.

mal got along REALLY well with varric, merrill, and anders (whom he later fell in love with. more on that later) he didn’t always agree with aveline, but they were still close, and he really didn’t get along so well with isabela or fenris. ah well. he tried to be friends, tried to help, but it didn’t work out.

he almost took bethany to the deep roads. almost. but as he was planning who to take... well, out of the game, my friend bran spilled the beans and said something very bad would happen if i did. EDIT bran said i got that part wrong and that i figured it out myself, which i forgot, and ordered me to clear their name. official statement: bran kept that secret. so mal had a really bad gut feeling and took merrill instead. bUT SHIT, SHE GOT CAUGHT BY THE CHANTRY INSTEAD OF DYING. i GUESS that’s better. but still, mal blamed himself for not being there to protect her.

so apart from lingering guilt, mal’s doing pretty well in act 2. hes got a relationship going with anders, hes financially stable, bethany’s doing pretty well, considering, he’s got a cool house- oh and kirkwall’s headed towards possible war but that’s nothing new, is it. 

a bit more bg on mal hawke: he’s real fond of compromises. in his mind, there’s always a way out, always a third option. he’s pretty pro-mage, bc he did grow up w two mages in his family and never really learned to fear magic, and later because he spent a lot of time with anders, whose enthusiasm for mage rights is kind of infectious.

that third option thing? a really bad philosophy to have in kirkwall. why are people so polar. have none of you ever heard of nuance

anyway can’t remember a whole lot more bc this post was supposed to be done and posted in june, when i actually played, but his mother is murdered. because he wasn’t there/because he didn’t get to her fast enough/because he didn’t solve that mystery in time/because he screwed up. so guess who he blames (it’s himself)

so amidst mal’s grief the whole city is going to shit, because the qun won’t fuck off and isabela stole a book. mal asks if she’ll please give it back, because Everything Is Going To Shit, This Is The Best Resolution We Have, and she refuses bc if she does she’ll be in deep shit herself, and runs off with it. damn. so mal fights the arishok, wins, and decides hes had enough of kirkwall’s shit for a little while and takes a long-ass nap.

three years later, kirkwall’s going to shit again, because it just can’t keep it together. come on, kirkwall. the templars and mages are fighting, and everyone expects mal to have some kind of authority on the shituation. he doesn’t bc hes literally just some guy who happens to fight good that everyone seems to think has a handle on things. he asks meredith and orsino if they could maybe chill out for two seconds but of course they don’t because this is kirkwall and nobody knows how to chill in kirkwall except varric. mal ends up supporting the mages

anders asks mal for help with getting un-possessed. mal 100% wants his bf to not be possessed anymore, bc it’s getting scary, so he readily helps out getting the stuff anders needs. but. it’s a little fishy. look mate i know the qunari are the only ones who know what gunpowder is rn in history but you’re asking me for saltpeter and i dont think you’re supposed to ingest that. anders is like ok, i did lie a lil bit, but there’s a point to this- and mal’s pissed! bc anders lied to him! but agrees to help a little more

so that’s how mal ended up chatting with the grand cleric about the shituation and how there’d probably be an ok solution if people just sat down and chilled out a little, while anders set up the charges to blow up the chantry and escalate the whole thing to hell tier

as you might expect, mal’s hELLA PISSED when anders blows it, not just because he lied, not just because he took advantage of mal trusting him, but because now the templars are going to, yknow, kill every mage, so mal’s remaining family (bethany, and merrill, bc she counts as family too) are in danger, and at this point mal doesn’t have a lot of family left to lose. he tells anders to gtfo before he kills him.

aveline, varric, and merrill stick with him, and fenris leaves to join the templars. later on, they fight. mal doesn’t WANT to fight, and makes an attempt to hash out some ending that didn’t involve one of them dead, but fenris isn’t having any of it. he’s not a fan of mal never wanting to make a straight decision on anything, and forces him to make a choice: die, or fight and kill his former friend. 

fenris dies.

the remaining boss fights continue as expected- bethany rejoins the party, orsino panics and goes full corpse-monster, meredith goes nuts and full lyrium-monster, the mages and templars are left without leaders and if things weren’t on their way to hell in a handbasket they sure are now. mal decides it’s time to retire, and never set foot in kirkwall the hell city again. 

hes got a cabin in the woods, living out the lumberjack life and drinking away his problems

[meanderings0ul]

Dodio Fic Preview 1

Taking part in femslash February at the very last hour. Of course. 

This is a portion of a long fic I’ve been working on off and on for about two years. As we’ve have more episodes involving our favorite Wayward ladies I’ve made changes to keep things in line with canon. It’s been a challenge and I’m glad I’ve done it. This fic is from Jody’s pov and focuses not only on the relationship she build’s with Donna, but on her careers as sheriff and part-time hunter, and the girls she’s taken in when they had no where else to go. I’d hoped to finish it this month of course, but between grad school and that fact that my outline now suggests its going to end up at around 30,000 words, yikes, it’s not finished yet.You can expect to see another preview snippet or two before it’s finally complete. 

Please enjoy <3

*

She met Donna in the muddy parking lot of the county’s tiny morgue three hours later. Donna’d clearly been waiting out next to her car for a while, ankles crossed and blonde ponytail fluffed out from the breeze. The second Jody stood the woman sorta, well, cooed a little and hugged Jody hello, way too tight and sudden. Jody tried not to instinctively shrug her off.

“Ooo, are you a sight for sore eyes! How’ve you been? I haven’t been in to take a look yet, but we’ll just tell them we’ve worked together on something like this before right? It shouldn’t be a problem.”

It wasn’t. Donna introduced them in a flood of over energetic conversation and Jody glowered over her shoulder when it looked like the clerk was going to make a fuss. They sailed through the morgue visit and examining the guy’s files in a blur of slightly too off the record police work. Donna was never squeamish at the body or the photos, didn’t waste any time they didn’t need to spend talking to the cop that’d been first on scene and Jody played up the surliness whenever it looked like someone wasn’t going to take Donna seriously.

Damn, was it fun.

This was ridiculous. What were they going to do? Run off on badly informed hunts whenever there was something in the tri state area? They had real jobs, real identities at risk, hell Jody had a teenager at home that had probably already snuck out. This couldn’t possibly work out as a repeat thing.

But Jody already knew she’d really like it to. Donna was humming and it wasn’t even annoying her, and a crime scene only they had a hope of dealing with waiting for them.

But Sam finally called Jody back when they were in Donna’s car almost to the victim’s house.

“You said big bites, deep scratches, on a guy inside a locked house?”

“Something like that.”

“Anything go suddenly right in his life about ten years ago? Money? Miraculous health recovery?”

Jody glanced at Donna and repeated the questions but she only shrugged, pursed her lips out and shook her head.

“Doesn’t seem like there was anything major Sam, why’re you askin?”

Sam sighed. He sounded exhausted, hadn’t even so much as said hi. “Well, sometimes it isn’t obvious. Sounds like a demon deal. You usually get ten years then your times up, hellhounds come to collect the soul and there’s basically nothing you can put in their way. Locks don’t matter. Lot of people just end it when they hear them coming.”

“Hellhounds.”

Donna’s head snapped away from the road to stare at Jody, frowning.

“Yeah. They’re invisible. There won’t be any traces except the bites and scratches on the vic. And they’ll be long gone by now Jody. There’s nothing for you to do. Sorry I couldn’t get back to you faster.”

“It’s fine Sam, now we know. Wait, wait don’t hang up yet. You boys doing ok?” He sounded too flat, like he’d been up for days.

“Yeah, we’re good, just busy. Sorry Jody, I gotta go.” Sam hung up with a click.

Yeah, they weren’t good.

Shit.

Donna parked her car in the road outside the victim’s house, but left it running. There was really no reason to go in now. Police tape was still up over the door. Some flowers had been left near the doorstep.

“Apparently the victim probably made a deal with a demon. A hellhound comes to collect later.”

“Demon? An actual demon.”

Her voice was a little high, face pale when Jody glanced over. “Yeah, they’re just as real as vamps. Demons I’ve actually seen before. Sorry Donna. And now hellhounds are real too apparently.”

Donna sighed, drummed her knuckles on the steering wheel. “So there’s nothing to be done? This poor fellas dead, his family’s devastated, and the thing that did it just poofs away into nothing like a dandelion?”

A dandelion. Jody shrugged.

“Sam said a lot of people who know this is coming commit suicide when they hear the hounds, so that’s why we don’t see this as often as it happens. They just get lumped in with the rest of the unexplained suicide cases.”

Donna shook her head, turned back to look at the guy’s empty little house, little blue truck still parked out front under a yellow streetlight. “Hellhounds. Who’d a thought.”

Jody looked and wondered for a moment what could have driven the guy to this.

All the fun had gone out of their little side case, but Jody didn’t regret the drive. They made their apologies to the local department, made some excuses, ended up sitting in some late night diner before they both drove back towards home, drinking godawful black coffee and discussing demons just as seriously as any other bit of police procedure.

Jody ordered another awful coffee. She still had work tomorrow and finding a hotel at this hour for less than one night was a ridiculous hassle.

“It’s amazing how much you miss before you know, what you miss about this stuff, things you can’t believe you didn’t notice before. There must be more people like us who know, who’ve seen things. Lots even,” Donna said. “You’re telling me the Winchester boys have been hunting this stuff for years on end, so there must be more people around who know. How did I not hear anything for so long? Especially in our line of work, we come across all sorts of things. Eventually enough people will have to be in the know that it won’t all stay so unidentified, right?”

Jody took another drink of shit coffee and thought about Sioux Falls. About the hundreds of families that had a loved one return and then turn into something else. About how there were only five people Jody could think of that were willing to acknowledge the experience, all the stories in the local papers about mass hallucinations and accidental injury all due to a chemical spill. So tragic.

So very tragic.

Jody hadn’t been involved with that press release for obvious reasons, but she knew everyone who had, and they all believed in it like it was true. Bobby’d been the only thing in the aftermath that’d kept her from fucking losing it.

Donna had to be right. There were lots of people out there who knew about these things. Had to be. But it would be a long damn time before most of them were willing to know much at all. Thinking otherwise was a useless daydream at best.

“You’d be surprised what people are willing to forget,” she said.

But Donna only sighed, tapped her nails with their chipped purple polish on the slimy table. “I know what you mean.”

And Jody somehow felt like she actually, probably did.

*

                                             Hey, if you wouldn’t mind, text me once you’ve

                                            made it back to familiar territory? You had way

                                            more of a drive to take on than I did. I’m

                                            already stuck at a light in Sioux Falls.

No prob! I should be home in about two hours.

And I didn’t text and drive either Ms Sheriff!

Stopped for gas ;p Sorry to have taken up your

time for nothing though :/

                                            Don’t worry about it. Really.

                                            Hate to admit it, but stomping around

                                            like I knew everything was kinda fun.

Felt like being in one of those fancy detective

shows, didn’t it? :D Wish we could solve all

our crimes in an hour :|

                                            Don’t we all.

*

After that first phone call there were other calls.

Somebody called to bitch about paperwork. Somebody called to ask about a better cookie recipe, because the Toll House package one just wasn’t doing the trick. Somebody called because there was nothing good on TV. (When was there ever? Jody didn’t pretend to watch much other than Walking Dead or HGTV anymore.)

Donna called after getting thrown up on while dealing with a drunk and disorderly call on a particularly busy night.

Jody called after catching up on all her damn paperwork, dealing with five different road ice crashes, getting another call about Alex smoking, and was considering just driving off a bridge rather than deal with the headache one more goddamned minute.

She’d pulled over into a park lot so none of her coworkers would spot her complaining on the phone. Wasn’t good form to let your deputies see you doing that. The creeks were up with snow melt, but all the trees were still bare, roads covered in old salt and black ice.

Donna listened, then talked for an hour about last fall’s weird hunting-season incident phone calls. By the end of the call, Jody’s headache was gone. She pretended not to notice that. Or how many times she’d laughed at Donna’s stories. Especially the one about the drunken and very insistent call she’d gotten from someone about a bigfoot sighting. Or the way Jody’d just let her voice linger on the ‘e’ in bye just like Donna had.

Jody finally had to admit that it was a regular thing after she realized they talked on the phone almost three times a week.

She hadn’t talked to another human being this much in years.

*

So what else do you do for funsies in your spare time?

                                        What spare time you talkin about exactly?

Oh boo :p even our line of work gets a spare minute

or two! Have to say I haven’t done much lately but

catch up on all the novels I missed these last few

years. Do you like mysteries?

                                      I love mysteries. Especially stupid murder mysteries.

                                     They never get old.

                                     I’ve had that new one by Lindsey Faye by my bed for

                                     weeks now and haven’t made it past page one.

Oh you’ve got to read this one then! By Kate

Morton? You’ll just love her, if you haven’t

read any of hers before. She’s written several.

I’ll mail this one to ya after I finish it. Two

chapters left and I’ve got to wait for tomorrow! >:(