#'lucy took advantage of him' no she didn't

[kinard-buckley]

ok fine, one of my unpopular 911 opinions is that i don't consider the buck/lucy kiss to be cheating on buck's part and, in fact, i believe the only thing buck did that was actually legitimately wrong in that situation was failing to come clean to taylor and instead asking her to move in with him (i think it might actually have been better had he just not said anything and let it go OR he told her but didn't ask her to move in, though based on his characterization i know why he did both of those things).

[outsideratheart]

Healing (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: This took me a lot longer to finish than I hoped but it’s done. Grab a drink and get comfy because it’s a long one, in fact I think it’s my longest fic to date.

The world had its questions and you were well aware of the headlines.

Y/N Y/L/N quits football.

Where is Y/N Y/L/N? Here's what we know.

The best in the world has vanished.

If you find Y/N tell her Sarina is looking for her.

The last twelve months had been the hardest in your life. You thought you could prepare for it, that it would easier because you knew it was coming but that wasn't the case. The day it happened was the day your heart broke and as you buried her you knew you were burying part of yourself too.

You left the world speculating as to why you didn't extend your contract with Lyon, why you never signed for another club and more importantly people were wondering where you had disappeared to.

Both your club and country team mates knew about your personal life and the tragedy that happened shortly after the euros. 

You missed football, of course you did, but you also needed to take time away to process what had happened. A return date was never set but then the world cup happened. You watched your team mates cry after losing to Spain and you couldn't help but feel partially responsible. The game might have ended differently if you had played.

A decision had been made. It was time to return to the pitch. You had offers before and after the euros. The only question is what teams would still want you? 

The sun was setting in Barcelona as the team finished up a late training session. Most of the players stayed behind to take advantage of the free food given they knew once they got home they wouldn't have the energy to cook themselves.

“Lucy your phone is ringing” Ona shouts over to where the English defender is filling her plate. 

“Who is it?” Lucy replies. 

Ona’s face floods with guilt. Almost as if she shouldn’t be looking at the phone. This sparks interest of those around her but no one more than Keira who sees the name on the screen. 

“Y/N” Lucy all but ran back to table after hearing Keira say your name “is everything ok? Where are you? Yes I’m with Lucy. Before I hand you over promise me that you’re ok? Good” 

Keira hands over the phone and watches Lucy’s face as she tries to figure out why you called and what you are talking about. 

“Yes there are people around me. Ok, I’ll ask” 

When you hang up the phone Lucy does as you ask or at least she makes the first step. 

“Alexia” Lucy walks around to where the captain is sat with Mapi and Ingrid “Who would I talk about signing a new player?”

“It’s not our job to recruit players but if you know something that might help the club then tell me and I will ask” Alexia wasn’t stupid. She heard your name and now Lucy was asking this. It wasn’t a coincidence. 

“I can’t. This is a sensitive subject” 

“Vale. Talk to Jona and if he thinks the player is right for the club then he can set up a meeting” 

Alexia left the training facility that night thinking of you. You were at the peak of your career, many people considered you the best in the world and if she is being honest she thought you would win the Balon d’Or, not her. That night Alexia watched your highlights for hours, even the ones in the games against her. You really were a once in a generation player which makes it that much harder for Alexia to understand why you walked off the pitch at Wembley and hadn’t been seen on one since. 

The next day at training the energy felt different. Lucy and Keira had a sense of happiness that their team mates hadn’t seen before. They would gather around Lucy’s phone but then hide it when somebody came close to them. 

Jona came walking into the gym with Xavi Puig right behind him and called over both Keira and Lucy. A couple of players watch the conversation unfold and tried their hardest to read their lips.

“Ingrid, what are they saying?” Mapi nudges her girlfriend.

“They’re talking about Y/N Y/L/N” Alexia was stretching on the floor playing no part in the eavesdropping.

“How do you know?” Ingrid asks her.

“She called Lucy yesterday and then Lucy talked to me about the club signing a new player. I can’t know for sure but that’s what I think is going on”

A couple of days later you landed in Barcelona, greeted by the warm weather and your two England team mates who kept a low key appearance in the arrivals hall. You stop when you are a meter away them. You didn’t know what to do, you hadn’t seen them in almost a year. 

“Come here” Lucy throws her arms around you followed by Keira.

“We’re so happy to see you Y/N. We really have missed you” 

You remain quiet as you walk to the car. Both of them fill you in on what the team is like and you make sure to remind them that you haven’t officially signed yet.

“Jona mentioned that. You want a trial training session?”

“It’s the right thing to do” you didn’t want any special treatment. You wanted to earn the right to play for the club and not just be handed the contract.

“You could have not played football for 5 years and still run rings round all of us” Lucy knows you the most having played with her at both club and country. You were too humble in her eyes so she took it upon herself to remind you of your greatness from time to time.

“I never said I haven’t played football. That has been the thing to get me through the past 10 months” you didn’t mean to be a downer, in fact you didn’t know what you were saying until it was too late.

“How are you doing?” Keira asks from the front seat and you see Lucy eyeing you up in rear view mirror.

“Some days are harder than others and no day has been easy. She would be happy that I’m here though. She always said that if I didn’t go back to England then she’d want us to come here”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say her name. 

“She always did hate the french winters” Lucy laughs at the memories she shared with your wife.

Your mind goes back to just a couple of years ago. Lyon were playing at home and the weather was awful. You saw Natalia in the crowd shivering but still she cheered you on, she always was your biggest fan. Come rain or shine, your girl was in the audience. You hated the thought of playing without her being in the crowd but you also knew she wouldn’t want to give up your career.

“Y/N” Keira gently nudged your knee. It was obvious that you were taking a trip down memory lane and she didn’t want to scare you.

“Huh” you quickly wiped away a tear “Oh we’re here” you grabbed your backpack and jumped out of the car leaving them in the front not knowing what to do.

“Let’s leave her be. She knows we are here and will come to us when she’s ready”

You were in awe as you walked the halls of Joan Camper. The things the team has achieved were that of greatness. It was a club that created legacys and you found yourself feeling something that you hadn’t in a long time; excitement.

Lucy and Keira lead you to the locker room just as they were instructed to. The rest of the team were already out of the field which was part of the plan. There hanging in a corner locker was a training kit for you. You didn’t expect it and you definitely didn’t expect to have been given your number.

“You did this?” You ask the pair.

“Salma did. The team knows you called Lucy and when Salma heard to locker room rumours of you joining she insisted. Between us she is a big fan of yours, bigger than Luce”

“Not possible” the defender joked.

The boots were fastened and you were ready, well almost ready. There was one thing you wasn’t prepared for. You looked down at your necklace. It was a simple gold chain that held two rings: yours and Talia’s.

“I can’t do it” you slumped down in defeat and bury your face in your hands.

“Hey” Lucy crouches down in front of you “they let us wear jewellery for training, you can keep them on”

You walked out onto the field and all eyes fell on you. You felt like a spectacle and you hated the attention. They didn’t know the current version of you, they had only met the old Y/N so you channel her and introduce yourself to them during the next drinks break.

“I know some of us have met as opponents but this is different. I’m Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you all, I hope I can keep up” you make a joke hoping to avoid the elephant in the room.

“We’ll see about that. I’m Alexia” She is the first person to you.

“Lovely to meet you Alexia” 

It’s hard to explain the feeling when you’re playing football. It’s as if you mind switches off whilst also been completely focused. It take a few attempts to get into the rhythm that is Barcelona football but you catch on quickly. It comes as no shock to the rest of the team that you play in complete sync with Lucy and Keira. The two of them even stay back at the end to work with you on some movements that you weren’t pleased with.

Some players go shower but a few stay behind, albeit out of sight, and watch you. 

“She has a gift” Alexia says to nobody in particular.

“Nobody has seen her in over a year and this is how she is playing. Look, she is running rings around them. How is that possible?” Patri adds.

“Does anybody know where she was?” Pina asks the small group.

“No but I could ask Ingrid or Caro to ask Ada. They are best friends and surely you would tell your best friend where you are going” Mapi forms a plan in her head, one that she will soon find out to be a bad idea.

“Do it” Alexia tells the defender “We are a family here and if she joins us then we have a right to know where she has been”

When Barcelona posted a photo of you signing a contract on their socials the world went crazy. The media were relentless and the fans were quick to show their support for you even though some were skeptical about your sudden reappearance and new team. 

You ignored them for the most part as they had no idea what had happened. You fit into the team almost right away and was enjoying every game with Barcelona. You scored on your debut and had been involved in a goal every game since. Months had passed and much to your surprise you had only been asked about the missing year once or twice. 

Caro refused to ask Ada about you and Ingrid only did when her girlfriend became obsessed with finding out the truth. Ada’s answer was simple ‘I won’t tell you and if she doesn’t want you to know then you should respect her wishes’.

You remained a mystery though and for the most part the team seemed to forget about your missing year. 

When the second international window came that is when things changed and you felt like you made a friend. Mapi still wasn’t representing her country so she reached out and asked if you wanted to meet up for a coffee. 

Anybody could easily be intimidated by the blonde but you liked her. She had this energy that made you know accepting her invite was a no brainer. That and you had questions of your own. 

“How did you know?”

Mapi places down a a small coffee in a glass; a cortado. 

“I asked Keira what you ordered”

A comfortable silence took over as the two of you sipped on your coffees. You found it funny the way Mapi looked at you then her coffee and back to you again. You recognised the signs; you were making her nervous. Why though you had no idea.

You decide to make the first move and you get straight to the point much to the defender’s surprise.

“I spoke with Ada”

This got her attention. You had your suspicions but the look on her face confirmed it. Still, she played along.

“That’s nice. You’re very close, no?” Mapi tried her best to look innocent but you weren’t having any of it and the look on your face told her that.

“She had an interesting conversation with Ingrid. Do you happen to know anything about this?”

She did. You know she did. 

“No” you got a sheepish look from Mapi and you wondered if she knew how unconvincing she was being.

“I think you did. I think you got Ingrid to ask Ada about me”

“Lo siento”

“Here’s the thing I don’t understand. I know you all want to know, you’ve been whispering about me for months yet not one of you has come to me and asked me directly. You have been going behind my back trying to dig up information about a time that I clearly don’t want to talk about”

Mapi dips her head. She truly thought that her and the team were been careful but obviously not. 

“Maria, I want you to put yourself in my shoes. Would you want to talk about it with strangers when you barely talk to your best friends about it?”

The defender thinks about it for a moment. You had barely left Lucy and Keira’s side but she hadn’t really heard you talking, you were always listening to what they were saying and replying when necessary.

“It was bad wasn’t it?” She asks. 

“The worse year of my life” you confess and you can your throat close at the thought of the months in question.

“We are in jail?” 

You cannot help but chuckle at her words.

“No, I was not in jail”

“Did you kill somebody?”

“No, I did not kill anybody”

“So no crimes were committed?”

“Is that what you have all come up with? That I broke the law?” 

“Most of us, yes. Aitana think’s you were in the hospital because you were sick”

Her response came at the worst time possible. You spit your coffee out when you hear the midfielder’s suspicion. 

Technically she was right. You were in the hospital but you weren’t in the hospital.

“I wasn’t sick” 

“Clearly. Look at you, you’re huge. I mean you are big. No, you are strong”

“Calm down Mapi, I know what you mean. Thank you” 

The two of you stay in the cafe for another hour. You take this time just the two of you getting to know one another. You ask Mapi about her tattoos and she learn’s you have a few of your own which are hidden on your back. When she asks for their meaning you promise you will tell her the stories another time. 

You both walk to the metro station and by coincidence you end up of the same train. You get off before her and just before the door opens, Mapi grabs your hand.

“I’ll get them to stop. You don’t owe us an explanation, Y/N” 

“Thank you Maria” 

You’re not sure what the tattooed defender said but the whispers stopped or so you thought. They stopped whispering in front of you but little did you know the speculations were still going on behind your back. It is early in December when things come to a head and you snapped. 

“What do you mean she is staying Spain?” Alexia asked Salma. 

“That she is staying her in Barcelona. She said she might go to Valencia for a few days but that’s it” the forward wasn’t sure what to say or if she should have said anything at all.

“And you don’t think that is strange? This is woman who used to love England. The fans called her Queen of England, por dios. How can she be apart of this team if we know nothing about her. She is lying to us” Alexia ranted on and who knew how much longer she would have continued if not for Lucy interrupting her.

“Alexia, that is enough!” Lucy slams her fist on the locker before turning to her captain “She has come to this team and done nothing but good. She plays well for us and gives it her all on the pitch. Off it she makes the effort and yes sometimes she says no to things but isn’t that her right? You stand there as our captain but look at you, you’re nothing but a bully. I am ashamed to say i’m your team mate right now. That girl has been through hell these past couple of years and since coming here all you keep doing is reminding her of what has happened. You are obsessed with her. Look around, no one else is digging for information. No one is making her uncomfortable on a daily basis”

“She is lying to us. She won’t tell us where she was for over a year. She is hiding something and that isn’t fair on us” Alexia tried to defend her actions.

“Isn’t fair? Are you really that self centred? You have no right to talk about what is and is not fair. I don’t care if you are my captain, I won’t stand by you while you treat my best friend like she has done something wrong. You, Alexia, are a —“

“Lucy” The whole locker room turns upon hearing your voice “I have given up on Alexia, it’s time you do too”

“No! I won’t let her talk about you that way. You don’t deserve this”

“No I don’t but —“

“Y/N” Lucy begs you to let her fight you case.

“Walk away Lucy” 

A stare down takes place between you and Lucy. A few seconds later the defender grabs her stuff and leaves the room. To everyone else you are calm and collected but Keira recognises the look in your eye, you are furious.

“I want everyone to listen to me and listen good. My past is none of your business. To those who have let the obsession go, thank you. To those that haven’t” you look Alexia dead in the eye “I want nothing to do with you. I will remain civil on the pitch. Other than that I ask you to stay away from me. That’s if you can respect my wishes. I know it has been hard so far”

You quietly gather your things and try to ignore the multiple sets of eyes on you. With each second you can feel your chest getting tighter and you know it is only a matter second before you will no longer be able to control your breathing. You just needed to get out of there, away from prying eyes.

The hallway is the furthest you get. Your mind was filled of flashbacks, the moments that you tried so hard to bury. The past was not a pretty place, not the last year, but you know that it was only a matter of time before it came crashing down on you. 

“Y/N, are you ok?” Mapi and Ingrid are by your side, clearly the couple had left just after you.

“Natalia, she, she” 

Ingrid and Mapi shared a look, who was Natalia? They had never heard you mention a Natalia before. Both of them didn’t know what to do. Whilst you had become friends with the pair, they didn’t know you well enough to cope with this moment. 

Luckily for them Keira appears out of nowhere. The English woman clearly equipped with what to do.

“Get Lucy, now!” She whisper shouted and Ingrid goes running hoping to catch the defender before she leaves.

“Keira—Natalia”

“I know, I know. We can talk about her later if you want. Right now, I need to focus on me. Can you do that?” 

You nod your head as tears flow down your cheeks. 

“What happened?” Lucy rushes over to you.

“We found her on the floor. She kept talking about Natalia” 

“She told you?” Lucy asks shocked. She knew you wasn’t ready to tell them team but in a state of panic you might be let it slip.

“No. She only said her name” Mapi says. She couldn’t take her eyes off you. This wasn’t a panic attack, no she had seen one of those before. This was something much more intense.

A few minutes pass and Keira manages to keep your breathing under control but you’re still not ready to move. Lucy, Mapi and Ingrid stay close making sure to tell anyone who passes to keep moving.

“What is going on?” Alexia asks with concern, a concern that doesn’t reach Lucy in fact her asking is the worst thing she could have done.

“Get away from her” Lucy is up on her feet and pushing Alexia backwards. She would has fallen to the floor if not for the wall behind her “This is all your fault. You see this, you see her, this is what you have done to her”

“Lucy” you reach up and take her hand. The defender used her strength to pull you up. 

You, Lucy, Keira, Mapi and Ingrid walk towards the exit of the stadium.

“Y/N” Alexia’s voice is soft and it is only now that she realises she might have taken things too far.

You turn around to face the Catalonian. For the first time since arriving you make no effort to hide the pain you have felt on a daily basis.

“I want nothing to do with you Alexia”

A week had passed and Alexia started to worry about you more so than she wanted to let on. Lucy and Keira were visibly worried about you and kept an eye on you at all times. She was confused at how things got this bad. Yes, she knew that maybe things had been taken too far but you didn’t show rage, your energy radiated nothing. You were numb. The Barcelona captain had no idea how to make things right with you.

You wore a smile on your face in front of the cameras and fans but behind closed doors it’s liked you switched your emotions off. Alexia asked Mapi about you but it seemed that even her closest friend was on your side. The zaragozian and her girlfriend had become close with you since the incident and Alexia didn’t understand why.

One night she found herself knocking on Mapi’s door hoping to find out how things got so bad.

When the captain was let in there is an evident scowl on Ingrid’s face which Alexia did not expect. The Norwegian excuses herself stating that she needed to go to the supermarket.

“Mentiroso” Alexia says to herself.

“Watch it Alexia. She has her reasons” Mapi jumped to her girlfriend’s defence.

Mapi leads Alexia over to the kitchen table and gets a glass of water for the two of them.

“You’re here about Y/N, aren’t you?” her captain nods “I don’t know what to tell you. What happened in the locker room was bad Ale. We didn’t leave the stadium when you thought we did. Y/N used everything in her to make sure Lucy didn’t do something she would regret. I don’t know what happened during those months but whatever we think it is, it’s so much worse. I shouldn’t be telling you this but she kept mentioning Natalia, I don’t know who that is but I think something happened to her”

Alexia thought she felt guilty about the way things went down with the two of you but that failed in comparison to how she was feeling now. To think that you were grieving someone and her questions were it worse for you, well it made her feel ashamed. 

She knew that she hadn’t been the most welcoming. Yes, you and her got a long on the pitch and yes, you were ok at training but she hadn’t made the effort she should have to make you feel at home in Barcelona.

“I don’t know how to fix it Mapi. You know I like her, I think she is amazing—“

“You were her biggest fan” the blonde teased

“But what if I’ve ruined any chance for being friends with her? What if what I’ve done is undoable?” Alexia ignores Mapi comment seen as though she knows she cannot deny it.

Mapi was at a loss for words. She always has had her friend’s back but there was something about you which made her want to protect you and Alexia was someone that you needed protection from.

“You need to give her space Alexia. This week alone I have seen you walk towards her then walk away at least 6 times. Y/N even asked me why you were doing it. You’re making the girl feel uncomfortable” 

Alexia mentally scolded herself for her behaviour which in her defence she did not think anyone noticed. 

“So space?” Alexia asks.

“Space” Mapi confirmed.

Alexia found it hard at first because she wanted nothing more than to make things right with you but she did as suggested, she gave you space. She saw you start to come out of your shell a bit more as December rolled on. The day game before the Christmas break you were playing in Madrid and that is when Alexia heard you discussing your winter plans with Keira.

“Keira, that’s a sweet offer but I’m sure. I’m going to stay in Barcelona, it is my home now”

The Catalonian took a little comfort in knowing you had grown the love her city despite the hostile behaviour.

“Y/N, it’s Christmas. She would want you to be home for that” your friend asked.

“I don’t know if I can handle going back for Christmas. It would hurt too much”

It felt wrong for Alexia to eavesdrop on your conversation so she leaves out of respect.

“She wouldn’t want you to avoid England. The two of you spent years in France and both of you said coming home to England was your favourite thing to do”

“Keira, stop. It was our favourite thing. There is no more our, no us. It’s just me”

Keira could see your hands shaking. This is the first sign of your panic attack so she drops the subject. She does suggest you going away with them for new years and you said you would as long as it isn’t in the UK or France. 

The team had one last recovery session before the winter break and it’s safe to say when it was done everyone was more than happy to go home. You wished everyone a Merry Christmas and without knowing it, Alexia is included.

“Feliz Navidad Alexia, por tu y tu familia” 

“Gracias Y/N” 

To Alexia this was a gift in itself. Maybe you were opening up to idea of forgiving her. After that you quickly grab your stuff and run off to where Ingrid was waiting for you.

After that interaction, Alexia couldn’t stop thinking about you. She also thought she was hallucinating when she saw your name appear on her phone screen. In the rush of leaving the training facility you picked up the wrong bag, only realising when got home a few hours later and your shirt had an 11 on instead of a 7. You texted Alexia asking if you could meet up to get your stuff back. Alexia, at that point was already at her mother’s house so she sent you that address and told her mum that you were coming over.

You tried to ease your nervous as you drove to your captain’s mother’s house. It was going to be awkward, this much you knew but regardless of the place you and Alexia were in, you wanted to make a good impression on her family. 

The knock was gentle as you stop on the door step.

“Y/N, hola. Adelante”

You didn’t know that word meant but you put two and two together and guessing in meant come in so that is what you did. Eli leads you to the living room after telling Alba to go get her sister. Eli headed back into the kitchen and left you in the living room. You didn’t want to take a seat, it wasn’t that kind of visit so you looked around and a wall of photos gains your attention.

Alexia couldn’t have been more than 7 years old. She was adorable. Next to her stood her younger sister and behind her, her parents. You didn’t recognise the man so you assume Alexia’s father works away a lot as you have never seen him at a game.

“That’s Jaume, Alexia and Alba’s father” Your cheeks flush in embarrassment at being caught stooping.

“And your husband” you turn to face the woman “I haven’t seen him around, does he work in a different city?”

“Jaume passed away a little over ten years ago” 

She is a widow, like you. That is the first thing you thought. In that moment you had so many questions for her but this is a woman you had only just met. It’s not exactly the small talk she would be expecting. The two of you go quiet and you guess she is thinking about her lost love, just as you are thinking about yours.

Alexia comes downstairs, your bag in hand but stops at the door was upon seeing you in conversation with her mother. Alba nudges her forward but she doesn’t move. The two of them watch you.

“Does it ever get easier?” The question was out of your mouth before you could stop it.

The two sisters share a look. They had no idea what you were talking about and by their mother’s response, she didn’t either.

“Que?” As expected, the question catches Eli off guard.

“Living without the person who promised you forever” you turn to face the older woman with tears falling down your cheek.

“Oh Querida, come here” 

You feel comfort in her arms and for a brief few seconds you forget that she is a stranger. In this moment she is someone who understands your pain and that is more than enough for you. When you pull away you see Alexia and Alba, you feel extremely exposed.

“Hi. You must be Alba” you wipe the last of your tears and extend your hand towards the younger Putellas.

She swats away your hand and pulls you into a hug.

“So formal” Alba laughs “you’re even hotter in person” 

“Alba!” Both Eli and Alexia scold her.

“What? I’m being honest” 

“Thank you, I think. Is that mine?” You point the bad Alexia is holding.

“Yes. Sorry for the mix up” 

“No, no. It was my fault. I was running late for dinner with Ingrid. I left yours in the hall as I wasn’t sure where to put it”

Alexia stared at you almost as if frozen in place.

“Was I not suppose to do that? I can go get it for you”

“This is the most you’ve spoken to me since joining” Alexia was honest with what she was thinking.

“It must be the Christmas air” you laugh a little “speaking of, you three clearly have plans so I will leave you be” 

Eli tries to get you to stay but you can’t. The woman knew too much and even though shared the same pain, you knew it was only a matter of time before the pity eyes came. You also didn’t know how much the two sisters had heard.

Alexia asked and asked what the you and her mother were talking about but the woman refused to tell. The only answer Alexia got was to be careful with you and that not all is as it seems. It seemed to be enough for Alexia but she wasn’t giving up on you, not just yet.

She kept an eye on you over the Christmas break and just as you said you stayed in Barcelona. Alexia all but stalked your Instagram and even went as far as texting you some recommendations. You felt something towards the midfielder and it made you think that you might have been a little harsh on her. You made a mental reminder to speak to her once the break was over.

The first game back was away to Bilbao and it brought you the perfect opportunity to speak to Alexia as the two of you were roomed together. It was late by the time you got there so everyone went straight to their room. 

“Oh Y/N I don’t know what happened” Alexia says as she swiped the room key. 

“What are you — oh I see” 

There was only one bed, albeit a large double bed. 

You hadn’t shared a bed in almost a year and you wasn’t sure if you were ready for it. Now you had to find  a way to explain this to Alexia.

“I’ll sleep on the floor” Alexia suggests and even though you weren’t ready, you also knew you wasn’t going to let her do that.

“Alexia you are one of the most important players on the team. I cannot let you sleep on the floor. Take the bed, I’ll take the floor”

“Y/N, you are important too. You are our highest goal scorer. I am taking the floor, don’t argue with your captain”

She refused to take no for an answer and you hated it. When you came out the shower Alexia was on the floor and it looked awful. It was almost funny and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Don’t say anything. Bed” Alexia laughed along with you.

The room was dark except from the street lights then peaked through the curtains. Sleep wasn’t coming easy to you and by the sounds of tossing and turning, Alexia was struggling too. 

“Alexia, come sleep in the bed” The thought of having someone sleep next to you wasn’t something you necessarily wanted but Alexia sleeping on the floor wasn’t fair.

“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable” 

There was something in her tone. She wasn’t talking about sharing the bed with a team mate, she was talking about sharing a bed in general. 

“She told you” Eli had to have told alexia about your conversation. 

“Who?” Alexia asked even though she knew you were talking about her mother. 

“Your mother. She told you about what I said”

“I asked but she didn’t tell me anything. I’m sorry that something happened to your friend” 

You sat up upon hearing her condolences. 

“My friend. What are you talking about?” 

Alexia, now sat up too, looked at you as if saying you know what I’m talking about.

“Natalia?” 

She said her name. Nobody had said her name. They knew it would cause too much pain. 

In that moment you are brought back to the last time someone said her name. It was the 5 November 2023 in a hospice not to far from your shared home in London. Natalia was the strongest woman you knew and no one would ever come close to her in your eyes. Yet just after Euros she told you that her time was coming, that the cancer was starting to win. You begged her to fight, you weren’t ready to lose her but you knew that you had been on borrowed time for many many years. The last person to say her name was a nurse as your wife took her final breath before she was called home.

“She was my wife” you could feel your nose twitch as a ball of emotion built in your throat. You knew the day was coming when you talked about her but you didn’t think it would come in Bilbao with Alexia now sitting at the foot of your bed.

The Catalonian knew she heard you correctly but she still sat in disbelief. She had no idea you were dating anyone let alone you were married. Alexia could do nothing but watch as you bury your head in your hand as your body racks with sobs. She wants to hug you, to hold you and to tell you to let it out but you weren’t that close. 

When you aggressively wipe your eyes you notice Alexia looking prettified and you cannot help but burst of into a fit of giggles.

“I’m going to go get Lucy or Keira or anyone else who isn’t me” your captain panics and makes a bee line for the door. She is stopped in her tracks as your hand grabs her wrist.

“You don’t have to”

She didn’t believe you and that was made obvious as her eyes dart back and forward between you and the door. 

“Isn’t this what you have been wanting? To know why I walked away” you pat the side of the bed next to you.

You saw the hesitation is Alexia’s eyes. In that moment she wanted to respect your boundaries and you appreciated that but for the first time in a while the thought of talking about Natalia didn’t make you feel like you would break. 

Once she sat down you turn to face you and you saw the look many people had given you. She felt sorry for you. 

“I didn’t know you were married” 

“Not many people did. We never hid anything. If you look you’ll see her in a lot of photos, she always supported me” you get comfy knowing that this is going to be a long conversation “I’m a private person and all I ever wanted to do was protect her” 

In that moment Alexia understood for she too was a private person. She knew that she was in the limelight but she still kept herself to herself off the pitch. 

“How did she—“ Alexia stopped talking as soon as she realised what she was about to ask “sorry, I shouldn’t have said that” 

“Leukemia” you closed your eyes, took a deep breath and counted to three “she first got it when she was six. We used to take the day off school to go to the hospital. She would call me her emotional support friend” you laugh as you remember the way she made you wear a badge “she won the battle only for it to come back when she was 16 then again at 28. The third battle was the hardest for her and it was the one she lost” 

Alexia caught the way you couldn’t look at her whilst you talked about the hardest times of your wife’s life. 

“She sounds like a strong woman” 

“Oh she was the strongest. She went through so much yet you never would have known it. Natalia had this heart that was big enough to like up the whole world. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her. She supported me in the youths teams, was in the stands when I made my Arsenal debut and moved to France with me when I signed for Lyon. She said she’s followed me everywhere because she knew I’d be lost with her” 

When Alexia sees you laughing, she joins in too. 

“Things got bad just before the euros. I was so close to withdrawing but she begged me to go. She wanted to see me lift that trophy and I did, I did it for her. I didn’t know how bad it was until afterwards and I made the decision to be by her side. We did all the things on her bucket list. A couple of months later she couldn’t fight it anymore. Her strength was gone and the light was barely there. I was able to be by her side as she took her last breath” 

Alexia didn’t stop you as you got off the bed and made your way towards the window. She could tell by the way your hand went straight to your face that you were crying. 

“You wanted to know why I walked about?” You turned to face her and in that moment, knowing what she did, Alexia felt guilty. Guilty for reminding you of the loss you had suffered. 

“I walked away because I didn’t feel like I had a purpose. For so many years I played for her. I scored to see a smile on her face and I won my trophies so that I can give her my medals. I couldn’t return to Lyon without her and it felt wrong being in England” 

“Y/N I’m —“

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry. You didn’t kill her, the cancer did” 

You hated it when people told you they were sorry for your loss. Why? Why are they sorry? You heard it so many times that it made you numb. 

Alexia could tell that you were feeling a lot right now. She wanted to be there if you wanted to talk more about Natalia but she also knew the importance of changing the subject when it’s needed. 

“Can I ask you a question?” She looked at you with a sincere gaze.

“You can. Is it about Na—“ 

Alexia shakes her head.

“Why Barcelona?” 

It is a question that she had been desperate to know. You have now told her why you weren’t ready to go back to Lyon but plenty of teams would have offered you a contract if you announced your return.

“I said it wasn’t about her but turns out it was. Talia loved Spain and Barcelona was her favourite place. I honestly thought I would retire at Lyon but she always said that if she could pick a team I play for them she would choose Barcelona. When I decided to come back, it felt right to sign for Barcelona. Also, Lucy and Keira are here. As you have seen, I have depended on them quite a bit and I knew that it wouldn’t be easy so having someone who knew made everything easier”

You could see Alexia processing what you had told her. 

“I’m happy you don’t play for Lyon anymore”

“Yeah, you might be able to beat them now”

Alexia stared you down and you wondered what her next move would be. Turns out you didn’t have to wait long because a pillow soon smacked you in the face.

You both burst into laughter when the pillow fight turns competitive.

“We really should be getting some sleep” Alexia says as she stands.

You took a second to think. 

“You can sleep in the bed Alexia. I won’t freak out you know”

“Y/N I can’t. Not now”

“Oh stop. I’m not some fragile little doll that will break if she shares a bed with someone. Now get in bed” 

You pull the duvet back and pat the bed. It is only when Alexia gets in that you realise she is on your side and you are on Talia’s.

“You know this is my side of the bed” Alexia says as she gets comfy.

You had your reasons for sleeping on that side. You want to be closest to the door in case someone broke in. You wonder if Alexia has a reason.

“Got to make sure no one comes in and kidnaps you. Buenas noches Y/N” 

You fall asleep that night with ease. You no longer feel the weight of keeping your emotions at bay and having Alexia knowing the truth makes you feel at ease around her for the first time since you joined the club.

From that day on things were different between you and Alexia. You found yourself spending more time with her than you did with Lucy and Keira. The two of them found it strange but didn’t question it. Whilst the defender was still very much protective over you, she did see a change in her captain which lead to her giving her the benefit of the doubt. 

Life in Barcelona was finally what you imagined. Even in January the sun was shining and the sky was blue, unlike the weather you have been used to. The pain in your heart was still there but for the first time in a long whilst you felt happy or at least the closest thing to it that you could feel. Alexia has invited you to family dinner which happened after every other home game. Her mother and sister made you feel welcome. You had become rather close with Eli as she would often reach out to talk to you and check in with you. She didn’t need to say much, the fact that she could understand was more than enough. 

Alba was quite the character and there was never a dull moment with her. She would relentless tease her sister and it had you holding stomach with laughter.

You had received some calls that made you think about a few things. You thought about talking to Lucy and Keira about it but you knew their decision would be biased so you confided in Alexia one night as the two of you walked Nala along Barceloneta.  She helped you work though the feelings that the question brought up and by the the time you arrived back to your apartment, which you learnt was in the building opposite to hers, you knew what your decision would be. 

During the game against Atleti there was a certain Dutchwoman in attendance. It was the second to last game before the Nations league semi final, a game that England has got to by the skin of their teeth. Barcelona came away with a 2-0 win and a lot of the players stayed out on the pitch afterwards to greet the fans that came to support them.

Sarina stood near the locker room and praised the team as they entered. 

“Are you here for Lucy and Keira?” Aitana asked as she walked down the hall.

Behind her walked the two English women, along with Alexia. The latter knew to expect her, it made sense for her to come see you in person. The other two clearly had no idea that their national team coach was coming.

“She isn’t here for them” 

Alexia’s words cause Lucy and Keira’s heads to turn in surprise. 

“Y/N’s still out on the pitch. She is playing with Irene’s son Matteo, shall I go get her?”

“No, I can wait” 

Just as three of them were about to enter they hear your voice followed by a child’s laughter. You walked down the tunnel with Irene and her little boy. Sarina saw just how happy you were and for a brief moment she regretted coming. She questioned whether or not this is what is best for you.

“Gaffa” you saw the look on your team mates faces and chuckled. Surely they knew it was only a matter of time before Sarina came knocking “Let me get showered quickly and we will go” 

“But we’re going out tonight. It’s team night” Aitana sulked.

“I’ll meet you guys there” 

Alexia and you shared a look. She knew what this conversation was going to be about and she was pretty sure she knew what the outcome would be and she was worried. You squeezed her shoulder and smiled before going into the locker room.

It was over 3 hours later that you finally enter the restaurant that the team were eating at. 

All heads turned to you as you walked through the door. The seat reserved for you happened to be next to Alexia which you don’t think was an accident. Lucy and Keira were sat opposite you and you see the look of suspense in their eyes. They hadn’t officially been told what you and Sarina were talking about but they had very good guesses. 

The rest of the team were having their own conversations and you didn’t want to make a scene so you nodded your head and that was enough confirmation for them.

“Yes!!” Lucy stood up suddenly and slammed her hands on the table.

“Holy fuck. Lucia, sit down”  

Lucy does as her told.

“Our captain is back” Keira said to herself. 

You tried your best to include yourself in the conversations around you but your mind kept wandering. You found yourself staring off into the distance. It is only when you feel a gentle hand on your thigh do you realise just how spaced out you were.

“Is everything ok? Did your coach say something because if she did then—“

“Stand down Ale” Alexia’s eye soften at the nickname. It wasn’t a new one for her but you had only just started calling her it and she loved it “I’m just thinking is all. What if I’m not good enough? What if I don’t have a place in that team anymore?” You lean into her and whisper.

“Y/N, they are your team. Yes you took some time away but you lead them for a long time and you told me they knew your reasons. It might take some time to get back into things but you will soon be back to how you were before. Besides if things go well for both of us then we will have a World Cup rematch on our hands and I want to see what might have happened if you played in the summer” 

Oh you didn’t think about that. You hadn’t given your upcoming opponents a second thought. Alexia was right. If England beat France then they will face Spain in the national league final. 

You thought there might be some awkwardness when you walked through the doors at the England camp but you couldn’t have been more wrong. Each player welcomed you with open arms and the players that you didn’t know as much treated you like everyone else did.

There were a few moments when you got pulled aside by Sarina for what she called her mental health checks. She promised that nothing said between you would be told to anyone else and you chose to believe her. You were honest about how heavy the shirt felt when it had the England badge on and you told her of the nerves you were feeling about playing for your country again.

Alexia had kept texting you to check in and for the most part you told her the truth. It was the day before the match when you got overwhelmed and instead of lying, you chose to ignore her. You knew it wasn’t fair but wanted to stay focused. You could bury your feelings for 24 hours. Alexia on the other had wasn’t going to give up on you.

“Alexia” Jenni nudged her friends leg “Earth to Alexia” 

The woman in question had her eyes glued to the her phone as you sent you yet another message.

“What do you want!” Alexia snaps.

“Hey, don’t snap at me. Who you texting? Is it a girl?” Jenni peaked over her shoulder.

“No” Alexia pulled her phone closer to her chest “It’s Y/N”

“Y/N Y/L/N is a girl last time I checked” Jenni couldn’t help but tease.

“She but I don’t like her like that, well I do. Wait! I don’t” Alexia slumps down in her seat  “Oh Jenni, I don’t know how I feel”

Jenni hasn’t seen her friend like this in a long while. Normally Alexia knows what wants and isn’t afraid to go for it. This though is different. It’s almost like she knows what she wants but she is hesitating and Alexia doesn’t hesitate.

“It’s ok not to know but something is clearly bothering you. What is it?” 

“She is ignoring me”

“Last time I saw you you told me she didn’t want anything to do with you”

So much had changed since then and she didn’t know how to explain it. In the end she told her everything she could without going into the finer details. Alexia confesses her feelings and explains that she cannot get a hold of you and that none on your team mates were answering either.

“Alexia, I may not know why she stopped playing football but I saw the way she played, she loves the sport. Her playing for England again is a big deal. Everyone is talking about her press conference she did this morning, it’s all over social media” 

Alexia wasn’t aware of a press conference. She never goes on social media the day before a match because it is quite often a distraction. Jenni picks up on her friend’s obliviousness and gives alexia her phone so she can see what is being said.

Jenni was right. You are everywhere. 

Y/N Y/L/N makes her return but what does it mean? Why now?

Sarina Weigman confirm Y/N is the captain of this team despite turning her back on them.

Beth Mead ruled out for Semi final, should be back for final if England are successful.

World Cup rematch? Y/N says that Spain wouldn’t have won if she was playing.

Alexia read headline after headline, article after article. She was beginning to feel overwhelmed so she couldn’t imagine what you must have been feeling. The last headline made the Catalonian laugh because she too had thought about what the outcome might have been if you were playing.

“I think the last one is a stretch” Jenni mumbles.

“We will never know” Alexia is ever more determined to get a hold of you. Just as she was about to call you again, a message comes through.

Hi. Sorry I haven’t been around, it’s been a lot. Thank you for checking in on me Alexia, I promise you I’m ok. Good luck in your match tomorrow.

“She’s ok” Alexia tells Jenni as if the forward was the one who was worried about you.

The next day you wake up and are ridden with nerves. It’s not a familiar feeling and you know that you need to calm down before the game or things will end badly. 

Despite protests from your team mates, you will start the game on the bench. It’s the right decision and you make sure to tell Sarina just that. Whilst the team’s recent performances have been spotty to say the least, you refuse to walk back in like nothing had changed. You know you need to earn your place on the pitch with the lionesses.

Spain’s game has an early kick off and finishes just after yours starts. The team get back to the hotel and have organised to watch it the hotel bar. Much to Alexia’s dismay she is called for Media seen as though Spain won and have qualified for the Olympics. 

When she finally joins the team she knows that the first half is over but that’s it.

“What’s the score?” She asks anyone who is listening.

“2–0” Ona says.

“That’s—“ Alexia is cut off before she can finish her sentence.

“To Germany” Jenni knows that Alexia would have wanted England to win if for no other reason than you “Y/N is going on for Toone” 

She cannot help the smile that tugs at her lips as your number goes on the subs board. 

The world watches as Mary runs over to you and gives you the band.

“Welcome back skipper” Mary pushes the band up your arm before you can stop her because she know’s that is what you’ll do. She was there in the captain’s meeting when you told Sarina that you didn’t deserve the captaincy.

“Game on, Maz” 

It felt right being on the pitch and wearing the three lions crest. You allow yourself to take in your return but only for a couple of seconds before you turn your attention to the game and the challenge that you face. 3 goals was a lot to ask for when Germany are playing as good as they are. It wouldn’t be easy and it would take everything you had but you never shied away from a challenge and you wasn’t about to start now.

After about ten minutes you found your rhythm and England were playing the type of football they are known for. It doesn’t take long for LJ to make a run and dance around the opposition. You have faith in her but follow her anyways in case she loses the ball. She doesn’t but Frohms does save her shot, she doesn’t save your rebound though.

“Get the ball” You shout to the Chelsea player. 

When the match restarts, the lionesses are on the hunt. Shot after shot is taken but somehow the ball stays out the net. England get a corner in the 80 minute and you’re lurking on the edge of the box, ready to make your run. Popp is the one marking you because she has studied you new way of play since joining Barcelona. Chloe’s corner is pin point and no amount of research in the world could stop you from getting the second goal and tying the game.

Alexia finds herself up on her feet with Ona and a couple of your team mates when you get your brace.

“Vamos Y/N” she says.

“You do realise that we will face them if they win” Misa reminds her.

“Right now, I don’t care. She deserves this and I’m celebrating my team mate” Alexia didn’t care if she might face you in the final.

“She told you” Aitana whispers as she pulls her captain down to the sofa “That is why she doesn’t hate you anymore and why you’ve stopped interrogating her”

Alexia does nothing but nod. Her fellow midfielder didn’t need to know anything else and she doesn’t ask for it either. She accepts that the reason must be valid if Alexia has dropped her questions.

There are 4 minutes announced of stoppage time. 

When you look up the the score board and see the number you get flashbacks on the euros final. You have been in this position before and came out victorious. Today was going to be no different. 

It was huge mistake by Germany when Gwinn takes down Hemp about a meter outside the box.

In the past you have found yourself stood over the ball with Beth but this game it’s Alex who stands beside you.

With her hand over her mouth she gives you strict instructions.

“You’re taking it” 

It’s not a question and you don’t argue.

“You have saved us tonight, now get your hattrick”

The amount of faith Alex had in you did wonders but it didn’t settle every nerve running through your body. Free kicks were your specialty, this wasn’t nothing new and the pressure was a familiar feeling. 

As soon as you strike the ball you know it’s going in. It’s a hard feeling to describe but many call it shooters instinct, it had never been wrong and it wasn’t now. The ball floated over the wall and went in the further part of the top corner. The shot was unsaveable. You ran over to the bench, more specifically to Sarina, to celebrate with the woman who gave you space and welcomed you back with open arms. 

“It’s like you never left”

Her words caught you off guard. For a brief moment you agreed with her but you got hit by the feeling of grief, you looked towards the family section and there was no one supporting you. Maybe some things hadn’t changed but a lot certainly has. When the full time whistle was blown your team mates ran towards you, all of the congratulating you on your performance and your first game back.

It was a weird kind of celebrations that night. The team was split, half wanted to celebrate getting through the final and the other half knew the job wasn’t done, they knew that the biggest task was yet to be faced. Spain had beaten them before and on the greatest stage, the UEFA national league final could either repeat history and England could rewrite it.

The team travelled to Madrid that night, only hours after the game. Upon arrival almost everyone went to their rooms but not you. You knew sleep wouldn’t come easy so you decided to wander the streets of Madrid. It had become a habit of yours, you would walk around and people watch. Every human had their own story to tell and it made you forget about yours.

You had no destination planned yet you found yourself stopping outside a hotel, the one you know from your text messages with Alexia, was the one the Spain team was staying at. 

A lot of feelings were running through you and you saw this as the universe’s sign that maybe you should talk about them. You have confided in Alexia since Sarina first reached out to you, she knew more than anyone how you really felt about returning and you talked about this very moment, the hours after your first game when the past is very much present in your mind. You remember the words she told you ‘when that happens you call me’ so that is what you do or at least that is what you go to do.

“Y/N” you hear a familiar voice say. You turn to see Jenni, Irene, Laia and Misa walking towards you.

“Hi guys” your voice is quiet, shy almost and you cannot help the way your eyes scan for Alexia knowing full well that these are the people she spends the most time with.

“What are you doing here?” Misa asks you. The two of you hadn’t formally been introduced but you had scored a brace against her in the El Classico.

“I’m—“ 

“Here for Alexia” Jenni says with a knowing look and you cannot help but feel like she knows something you don’t.

You can only nod. Apart from Irene, you didn’t know these girls very well and the version of yourself that you show to strangers is very different to the one that your friends see.

‘I can take you to her. We are roommates” Jenni seems sincere with her words but you feel a pang of jealousy. Everybody knew that the two of them used to date, it shouldn’t bother you, you had no right to be jealous yet that is exactly what you were feeling.

You think about it and Jenni can tell you are thinking about it.

“She hasn’t stopped talking about you and I know she will want to see you. She was your biggest fan when we watched the game” Jenni added hoping to create some sense of comfortability.

“She watched my game?” You asked in disbelief. You thought you had no one but maybe you did, maybe Alexia was the someone that was cheering you on but instead of the family area she was cheering you on from the hotel you were currently standing outside of.

“She did. I think she forgot she was Spanish for a minute” Irene says which causes you to laugh.

“I doubt that but I appreciate the support. You know I shouldn’t be talking to you, you guys are the enemy now” 

“Yet you came here for our captain, she will be your enemy too. Come on, I’ll take you to her. We wouldn’t want you to be spotted outside our hotel, just think of the optics” Jenni once again says.

“Ok” you nod your head a few times to solidify your answer.

The girls lead you through the hotel but only Jenni and Irene stay with you, Misa and Laia walk ahead. The longer you walk the more you begin wondering if this was a good idea. What if you are overstepping your boundaries. You had no right to be here and could easily be turned away at any point.

You enter the lounge area of the hotel which holds the majority of the Spanish national team yet your eyes search for only one. She see’s you before you see her and is walking over to you with a worried look on her face.

“Estas bien? What are you doing here?” Alexia’s arm rests on your shoulder.

“It was an accident. I was out for a walk and I ended up here” you explained.

“She was asking for you” Jenni says even though technically it wasn’t true. In her eyes she wanted to play matchmaker after it was made evidently clear that Alexia was hesitant to peruse things with you even though she had feelings for you.

“Is this true?” Alexia asks and you nod.

“We won, I returned, I scored, wore the armband and I didn’t have anyone is stands” you whispered so only she could hear you.

The look in your eyes changed. For the first time that night you showed your true emotions. Alexia didn’t need to hear anything else. She grabbed your hand and escorted you to the outdoor seating area. She sat down whilst your paced the patio.

“Y/N, come sit down” Alexia pats the seat next to her and you comply “Are you ok, really? What made you come here to me?”

“I’m not ok but I’m more ok than I thought I would be. It’s been quite a day, that game was —“

“Incredible. You changed the entire play” 

“It felt right. I belong on the pitch with the girls, I should never have left” You didn’t register that you felt guilty about your absence until you said the words out loud to Alexia.

“You needed to. You had to process your loss and you returned when you were ready”

Alexia was very understanding, you had to give her that. 

“That answers my first question but the second” the Catalonian didn’t want to push but there had to be a reason and until she heard the truth she was filled with worry. You had been walking the streets of Madrid, alone, at almost midnight.

“Why am I here?” You repeated it. Maybe you hoped that hearing the question again would help you figure out an answer, it did “I wanted to celebrate…….with you. I was surrounded by my team, people I consider family yet you were the one I wanted to call and tell about the game”

You dipped your head when you felt yourself getting emotional. You were suppose to be happy but with everything you were feeling you were overwhelmed. On top of what you were feeling you couldn’t ignore the way your heart beat twice as fast because Alexia was sat opposite you with her hand now resting on your thigh. 

When you looked up Alexia noticed the the tears in your eyes and was quick to wipe away one when it fell.

“I shouldn’t be feeling this way Alexia, it is wrong” you met her eye as you made your version of a confession.

“You can be happy about playing football again Y/N. Natalia would have wanted you to be”

“Don’t say her name, not now” you shook your head and Alexia’s hand fell back to its prior place on your thigh.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep. I can give you space if that what you need” the blonde stands, ready to leave you be but you grab her hand and pull her back down.

“I don’t want space and that is the problem. I wasn’t talking about the game Alexia. I shouldn’t be feeling this way about you” you shook your head in disbelief. You were sure that your shot of happiness died with your wife but you have developed feelings for Alexia and could no longer deny it.

“Y/N” Alexia cupped your face so that you would look at her but when you did, her hand didn’t move.

“Ale” you melted into her touch. That very touch gave you butterflies and you enjoyed the act of intimacy.

The two of you went silent but each of your thoughts were very loud. Alexia glanced at your lips, you knew what she was about to do and you didn’t stop her. Maybe you should have, maybe you should have pulled away but you didn’t. You didn’t move when her lips hovered centimetres from your own, you let her kiss you. You froze in the moment, like a deer in headlights. It was only when you closed your eyes did you realise what was happening. The kiss felt like you were cheating, it felt wrong yet felt so right.

“You shouldn’t have done that. We can’t do this. It was wrong” you pushed Alexia away and stood up hastily.

You stormed away before Alexia had the chance to speak. All eyes were on you as you walked through the sea of Spanish players. Their eyes went from you and then to Alexia who was running through, trying to catch up to you. She was hot on your heels until you turned to face her. She waited a couple of seconds before taking steps towards you.

“Stop” you say but she doesn’t “No!” you held you arm out to further imply your seriousness.

After that she can do nothing else but watch you walk away from her. Her hazel eyes stayed on you until you were out the lobby doors and onto the streets of the Spanish capital.

Alexia was frozen in place. She has ruined everything by rushing but she felt something when she touched you, she felt a spark and that wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t feel the same thing she did. You told her that had feelings for her, you came all this way to see her. Those things meant something but maybe she had read it wrong, maybe it had all been in her head.

“Alexia, are you ok? You’re crying” Irene appeared in front of her. The woman in question was quick to wipe her eyes in hope that no one else would see her tears.

“I’m fine. It’s getting late, everyone should go to their rooms. We have a final to prepare for and we need to be at our best” Alexia walked away.

The two of you were very quiet in the upcoming days and were laser focused on the task at hand. Beat the opposing team and being the first even UEFA Nations League champions. Both of your team mates could tell something was wrong but they didn’t know what to do. Your team mates wasn’t aware of your late night adventures until Aitana texted Keira to ask if you were ok and told her that Alexia wasn’t after you showed up at their hotel. The English midfielder kept this to herself given that Lucy has only just got started talking to Alexia and there were a few players on the team who’s protectiveness could rival the defenders.

By the time the day of the final came around there was plenty of reason for concern but both teams knew that this is what you had been working towards. Yes, a trophy was on the line but it was the previous trophy that was the topic of conversation. 

The first time Alexia saw you was when they arrived for the pitch inspection. You were near the goal with LJ, it has become a new pre match routine for the two of you. Well you did it the game a couple of days ago and you won that so the two of you gravitated towards the goal today. 

Alexia wanted to go to you and that is what she was going to do until she felt a hand grab her wrist.

“Alexia” 

She turned to face Keira.

“Leave her be”

“I didn’t mean to upset her. We were talking about feelings and then I kissed her, I couldn’t help it. It felt right in the moment” Alexia couldn’t stop talking. It’s like was making a confession and Keira would be the one deciding whether or not it was a sin.

Meanwhile the English midfielder couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Sure she had suspected something was going on between the two of you but she also had a strong sense that you wasn’t ready for anything knew. In her eyes you were still healing.

“You kissed her?” Keira whispered as not to bring attention to their conversation.

Alexia was about to explain further but Keira stopped her as she sure her other team mate coming towards them.

“Lucy is coming. I will talk to you about this later” 

It was as if Keira flipped a switch. Her look of concern was replaced with a smile and she even put on a fake laugh so Lucy wouldn’t arrive to an awkward silence. Soon enough it was a gathering of Barcelona players yet Alexia could stay focused on what her friends were saying for you were beginning to walk towards her.

In your eyes you wanted to talk to Alexia and you knew you needed to. The other night was a lot for you to process but you did owe her an explanation for leaving, that much you did know. She looked good as you watched her enter the pitch. You let your eyes linger in the most discreet way possible. 

“You and Putellas?” LJ asked you. She wasn’t aware of what happened, nor did she know you were married. In her eyes, you were hiding something and she wasn’t wrong.

“We are friends…..I think. It’s complicated” you admitted knowing that Lauren wouldn’t push you further.

“Uncomplicate it” she suggested.

“If only it was that easy. Let’s head in and get ready”

You felt the change in heartbeat again as you got closer to where Alexia was standing. Your head might have been all over the place but you heart was being very clear in what it wanted only you weren’t ready to admit it.

“Y/N” Alexia shouted to you as you walked past her.

“Hi” for whatever reason, you pulled her into a hug “Good luck today, you’re going to need it” 

You both started laughing at the quick change of energy.

“I don’t think it’s us that need luck. We beat you in the summer” Alexia was cocky but she wasn’t confident.

“You didn’t beat me though” you couldn’t help but smile at her.

Your smile was genuine and that is something Alexia took great hope in seeing. Maybe you weren’t mad at her, maybe you just needed a little space.

What you said next doubled that hope.

“Come find me after the game”

Then just as quick as the hope was there, it wasn’t.

“We need to talk”

Those 4 words struck fear in Alexia but she didn’t have the chance to say anything because you were already down the tunnel by the time she came to her senses.

Your was brought up several times in the Spanish locker room and each time all eyes fell to Alexia for she is the one that knew you most. She had learnt how you think, what plays you are going to make before you make them. In her team’s eyes she knew how to stop you. Only it wasn’t that easy. Alexia did knew how you play but that style changes when you are hungry, like you have a point to prove and this game brought both of those things.

“Stop focusing on Y/N! If you focus on how to stop her then you’ve already lost. Focus on stopping her from getting the ball” That is the last thing she said before heading out into the tunnel. 

The lionesses were waiting for her, she expected it. It was an intimidation tactic. You weren’t there and that was a surprise, she would have bet good money that you would be in the starting 11. Mary stood opposite her and smirked when she saw the look of bewilderment on the opposing players face. 

Alexia wanted to say something, she kept looking back at the team. If she was paying attention she would notice that there was only 10 players on the England side of the tunnel. With her eyes now facing forward she didn’t see you walking towards the front of the line. The sound of your cleats fell on deaf ears.

Her head shot to the side when she caught a glimpse of you standing next to her with the pendent in your hand.

“Capital Y/L/N, nice to see you back where you belong” Alexia covered her mouth, her being well aware that there were cameras on her.

You shake your head at her greeting.

“Captain Putellas. You’re going to wish I wasn’t” you had one last attempt to get in her head.

“No I won’t. Win or lose today, this is something the world, myself included, has been waiting for” 

You thought you would get a smart remark not a reply that was genuine.

“Alexia” 

“Y/N” 

Those were the last words spoken except from a good look after the coin toss.

You called a huddle before everyone got into place. This game was important, not only because of the trophy on the line but it was the lionesses chance at redemption. To prove that it was only one game.

“I want you all to do something for me. Play for right now, not for the past. You cannot change what happened in the summer, no matter how hard you try. Winning today won’t get you the star on the shirt but it can be the reset you guys have been wanting. That loss has been haunting you, I can see it by the look on your faces and I promise you here today that if you play with revenge in your hearts then you will fail. Yes, this is Spain but we are England. We don’t stay down, we get up and fight. We stand together as a team, a pride. We go out there and leave everything on the pitch” 

Each player is hooked on every word as you give Mary the signal. 

“England on three” 

You all come together one more time before getting in position.

Alexia tries to do the same by most of the team is watching you.

“She is going to make it hard” Olga tells her captain.

“She is going to make our lives hell for the next 90 minutes but that’s not to say we can’t give it back. Look at that star on your shirt, we got that by beating this team. Yes, Y/N wasn’t playing but she is one player. As good as she may be, we are better. You’ve seen what everyone is saying, they are calling our World Cup win a fluke, that we didn’t win but England lost. We may have qualified for the Olympics but our job is not done. We have a trophy to win. Vamos Espana” 

Just like England did, Spain come together before readying themselves for the game.

The game which starts in the worst possible way for the away team. It seems the your players might be a bit more nervous that they are letting on. Inside the first 15 minutes Salma gets through on goal and sends Spain up 1-0. It wasn’t ideal but it didn’t mean the game was over either. You were playing safe, as a way to get the most out of the team around you. When the first half is done with you haven’t take a single shot on goal. 

Spain entered the tunnel happy and England entered it less so.

The atmosphere was eerie in the locker room and you could see the self doubt radiating off your team mates.

Sarina takes the floor and explains all sorts of strategies but nobody is listening. They are in their own head.

“Do you mind?” You walk up to Sarina hoping to have a talk with your team. The coach happily steps aside.

“How many of you are thinking about the World Cup? Raise your hand” nobody does and you decide to call bullshit “You’re lying and I won’t have that. You are telling me none of you are out there thinking of the summer? the picture of them lifting the trophy that should have been yours?” 

One by one players begin lifting their hands.

“I can stand here and say I haven’t been good enough. I need to be better and I will be better. In 45 minutes we will be crowned champions. The question is are we going to do it in style or are we going to make it harder for ourselves? We know what we need to do and we will do it” 

You leave the locker room and go back out onto the pitch. You are the first one out there and you take a minute to look at the score board. 1-0. You hated to lose but more than that, you hated to let people down. You made the decision to come back and you didn’t do that to come second.  You returned to be a champion and to make Natalia proud, you wasn’t doing to let her down. You had spent the past couple of days trying not to think about her and maybe that was the problem. She was your greatest strength, your biggest supporter and she may be no longer with you, you may be beginning to move on but that doesn’t mean you have to forget about her. No, you need to play for her just as you always did.

The first ten minutes of the second half it was like a different team was on the pitch. England were pushing and pressing and Spain were struggling. In the 67 minute was when the game was made even once again. You and hempo were tiring out the defence and it made them vulnerable. On one counter attack they couldn’t keep up. Irene was the only player standing between you and Cata but she could see Hempo running up beside you. She found herself in a lose lose situation so she stuck with you in hopes that the pressure would work, it didn’t. You pull her in just enough to give hempo enough space. At the last minute you passed to your left and she fired the ball into the back of the net.

Game on.

Spain were beginning to tire and the one touch football that was known around the world began to work in favour of England. They were unable to play out from the back because you, Alessia, Hempo and LJ was pressing the defence. It was mind play and it was working. 

It was during a corner where things got interesting.

“Keep going!” You clapped your hands to rally the team “we are in their heads, now we end it” 

“You’re not in our heads” Alexia says as she chooses to mark you. It was a tactic they hadn’t done yet, so far Jenni had marked you.

“Just you saying that is proof that we are but feel free to prove me wrong” you had a minute to talk as the ref walk talking to Lucy and Irene.

“I will. Let’s make it interesting. You score right now and I’ll buy you a drink later”

“So that means I’ll be taking the trophy and your money? Oh you’re on” 

Alexia followed you are you walked around the box as you got into position. You would end up in one or two places; front post or in the middle. Never did she think you would make a run for the back post and swap positions will Lucy. The change caught Alexia out and when the ball hit the back of the neck she shook her head in defeat. 

She had played right into your hands. You had pulled her in with your words and left her hanging when you celebrated what would go on to be the winning goal of the game.

You had to take a moment when the game was over. Everyone was celebrating but you and Lucy made the effort to congratulate your club team mates of a game well played.

“Ay, Capi. You’re predictable you know that?” Lucy threw her arms around the Catalonian.

“Lucy!” You slapped her on the back of the head “What she meant to say is you guys played a good game and that we will see you in Paris”

“We’ll see them in Barcelona” Lucy tried to correct you.

“I mean on the pitch as opponents, idiot”  

Alexia was to focused on what the defender said first to hear the bickering that was now taking place between the two of you.

“What did she mean?” Alexia asked you.

Lucy gave you a look before leaving the two of you be.

“You once told me that in order to see yourself as the best, you had to beat the best. Tonight you wanted to beat me”

“No, I —“ 

“You did and that’s ok. I wanted to beat you too. It’s our competitive nature. That need you had allowed us a way in. I didn’t know it would come from a corner, only that in at least one part of the game you will stick to me just so you could say you got the upper hand”

“I should have dropped you off, let Irene pick you up and followed Lucy” Alexia understands the error she made.

“You should have but don’t beat yourself up about it. That wasn’t our first plan or second. Our plan was for Hempo to tire Ona out and for Lucy to get inside Olga’s head. Without those two things happening, we wouldn’t have got the corner in the way we did”

Alexia didn’t know whether to be pissed off or impressed that you read her and her team so well.

“You deserve the win today. Go celebrate with your team” 

“I will but remember you owe me a drink. I’ll text you the address of wherever we go. Invite the girls too”

Alexia watched you walk away but there was one more thing she wanted to tell you only she feared it would do more damage than good. In the end she bite the bullet and ran to you.

“Y/N” 

“Hi again” you laughed “Do you want another explanation of our strategy? We can always watch the game back when we in home in Barcelona” 

Home in Barcelona. There is something about the way you said it that made alexia feel warm and fuzzy inside.  She quickly shook her head to rid herself of those thoughts and the overthinking that came with them.

“I just want to say that Natalia would have been proud of you today. Not just today but the other game too. I know it’s not my place to say that because I didn’t know her but you should know that. You—“ Alexia began rambling.

“Breathe. Thank you for saying that. I know she is looking down on me right now with a huge smile on her face and truth is if I think about her too much then I think I might cry so I don’t want to go into that right now. Thank you though” 

Alexia couldn’t help but feel like she shouldn’t have said that.

The ceremony went by in the blind of an eye. One minute you are waiting for Spain to collect their medals, the next you are raising the trophy with Mary. Back in the locker room you find yourself staring at the medal on your neck. Never in your professional career had one stayed on your neck for this long and never has the gold felt so heavy. It felt like it was weighing you down so you take it off and stuff it into your back. You would talk about that means with your therapist if you had one. 

Later on in the night you found yourself at the hotel bar with the rest of the team celebrating. You tried your best to be happy and part of you truly was but you life off the field was becoming more complicated and hard to ignore.

“Excuse me” you tell the group that included Leah, Georgia, Keira and Lucy. 

“Should we be concerned?” Georgia asks.

“Yes but let her have a moment. These past ten days have been a lot for her” Lucy tells her friend.

They watched as you paced back and forth on the balcony. To the English it was warm outside but there was still a chill in the air and you weren’t wearing a jacket. Keira kept looking at her watch asking herself how long is long enough before she goes out to you. 

Some of the Spanish team arrive about an hour after the lionesses. Some of them go to the bar, some go to friend but Alexia, well she only had one interest and she couldn’t it or more specifically couldn’t find you. Her eyes scanned the room one, twice and third time. She had her phone out ready to call just as she sees you. 

Leah catches her walking towards you and wants to stop her.

“What is she doing” The blonde asks defensively “Y/N doesn’t want anything to do with her”

The Arsenal player has heard about you bust up when Keira visiting England over Christmas. 

“Things are different now but I’m not sure this is the right thing to do. Alexia!” Keira shouts her club captain over.

“Hola. Congratulations again. You guys sure know how to party” she tried to be polite even though she had no interest in a conversation with anyone who wasn’t you.

“Thank you” Leah seems genuine “Were you going to see Y/N?” 

Alexia nods.

“That might not be the best idea right now. I think she needs a minute to herself. It’s been quite the day for her”

“I know. That’s why I want to talk to her” Alexia knew that you might be been struggling but to her that was all the more reason for her to talk to you.

“She won’t even wear her medal” Georgia adds earning her a shove. As far as the English players are aware, Alexia didn’t know anything.

“That isn’t surprising. Every tournament until this one she has given her medal to Natalia” Alexia says as if it is the most obvious thing but your friends didn’t put two and two together.

“Wait” Lucy says “She told you about her?” Again, Alexia nods.

“When? She hasn’t talked about her since she passed” the defender added.

“After Christmas” Alexia explains but goes no further.

“That’s why she went to you the other night but then you—“

“Keira, I won’t talk about that right now. I just want make sure she is ok and I can’t do that if I am being interrogated by you” 

With that Alexia leaves your friends speechless and makes her way towards the balcony.

As quietly as possible, Alexia slides the door open and closes it behind her. She didn’t want to startle you so she watched from a distance. Your face wasn’t puffy so you hadn’t been crying but your posture was stiff so you were stressed.

“They’ve spent the past hour burning holes in the back of my head from their staring yet you have come straight out” you turn to see Alexia resting against the door. 

“I owe you a drink and —” 

“And yet your hands are empty” you point to Alexia’s hand which as you stated aren’t holding a drink “You can come closer you know. I’m not going to blow”

“I know it’s just that—“

“The last time we were along I ran away crying” you laugh as you think back to that night. Things were going really well until they wasn’t.

“Are you going to let me finish a sentence or are you going to keep talking for me?”

You mumble an apology and signal for her to continue.

“Your friends know I know and I accidentally told keira we kissed” 

“Figures. She has been hovering” 

The two of you go quiet. It’s not awkward, it’s comfortable but even then it’s not what either of you wanted.

“You said we needed to talk” Alexia didn’t want to push things and you had told her this before the game.

“We do. What happened the other night it—“

“Shouldn’t have happened”

“Who is finishing the other’s sentences now” 

“Lo siento”

“As I was saying” you send her smirk so she knows she isn’t in trouble “The other night was very overwhelming for me, not because I didn’t like what happened but because I did. I told you that I had feelings and those feelings are for you Alexia. You make me feel things that I thought I’d never feel again. I promised my heart and love to her Alexia and to feel these things for someone else is like an act of betrayal. It feels wrong but I don’t want those feelings to stop. You kissed me and I knew it was going to happen yet I didn’t to stop it. I shouldn’t have ran away like that”

“It was a lot for you, I understand that” Alexia tried to reassure you that it was ok.

“It was but I should have stayed. You wanted to talk to me and I didn’t give you the opportunity. Just because I lost someone doesn’t mean that it’s only my feelings that matter. I’m sorry Alexia” 

Alexia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Since you said the words ‘we need to talk’ she has been trying to think of all the things you could have said, an apology was not one of them.

“Can I say what I would have that night?” Alexia asks and you nods your head whilst closing the distance between you.

“Those feelings you talked about, I feel them too. Things changed between us after you told me and I couldn’t ignore it, trust me I tried. I was also aware of your loss and that this might not be something you are ready for so I talked to my mum one night. She is the only other person I know who has experienced the same loss you have. I told her that I had fallen for you and that I wanted to act on my feelings. You know what she told me? She told me that time heals all wounds but no amount of time is the same. If I wanted to prove to you that I truly liked you then I would need to take it slow so that is what I am willing to do. If you want to pursue this then we will take it slow, as slow as you need. You said it feels like an act of betrayal and I respect that. I won’t push you into anything you’re not ready for”

Alexia reached out for you and noticed once again tears were falling down your face.

“I have made you cry again. I shouldn’t have said anything. Y/N I am so sorry”

“Alexia, these aren’t sad tears” you reach for her hand  “I can’t promise you that this will be easy. When Natalia died she took a lot of my heart with her and I don’t know how much is left but I want to share what I have left with you. Please be patient with me Alexia because I don’t know how to do this again. For most of my life it has been her and I but now I get the chance at happiness again, with you. We can take this slow?”

“We will go as slow are you want. I have nothing but time for you Y/N”

Alexia knew what to say and for the first time in a long time you found yourself leaning forward. Just as you were about to kiss her she moves and kisses your cheek.

“Slowly Y/N” Alexia winked causing you to chuckle “How about we go for dinner when we return to Barcelona?“

“I would really like that”

“Me too. Now if I remember correctly I owe you a drink” Alexia holds the door open so that you both can rejoin the party.

“That does seem to be the case. Make it a double. It’s not every day you pull one over on La Reina to score the winning goal” you shoved her playfully.

[drac-kool-aid]

Y'know, something that gets me, is that in the book, Dracula's intentional predation of Lucy starts off with an accidental meeting. Sure, Lucy slept walked, and an argument could be made her path might have been supernaturally influenced, but I say she'd already been a known sleep-walker, and she went directly to a place she was familiar with.

Her stumbling onto Dracula's hiding spot in a very vulnerable state was just an accident, and from there, he intentionally set out to harm her, and through that, everyone around her he could get.

This is sort of related to Jonathan, too. Had Mr. Hawkins not come down with a bad case of gout, Jonathan wouldn't have been sent to Castle Dracula in his stead. Sure, Dracula probably would have had his fun with Hawkins before inevitably killing him, but I doubt he would have drawn it out so long or taken so much delight.

Dracula never sets out with a master-plan to attack Lucy or Jonathan. They just end up in his path and spark his interest. We know that if he isn't interested in you, he'll kill you. He'll, he breaks Mr. Swales neck doesn't even bite him. But the two victims he decides he's going to make suffer the longest he possibly can, he just stumbles upon and goes "oh this will be fun". Later, we see him start choosing victims as a way to retaliate, but for the two inciting incident victims upon which the rest of the story hangs...its just wrong place wrong time.

The reason this struck me is that I was misremembering. For some reason, which I now believe due to thinking about the *through gritted teeth* Coppola film, is that Lucy is sort of hand-picked by Dracula to be his victim. And yeah, the fucking film ain't subtle in its blaming of Lucy's victimization on the fact that she was Too Pretty and Too Flirtatious and Dracula psychically drew her into the garden in a flowing diaphanous dress, but it's really her fault....I hate this movie.

Like, i just read the films Wikipedia plot synopsis, Dracula "psychically seduces" Lucy before biting her. He chooses her out of everyone in England deliberately.

And just...no. That's not what happens. Lucy got so stressed from her wedding that her latent sleep walking started again. Mina gets so tired from the constant stress she falls asleep without meaning to. Lucy went to their favorite spot...Dracula just happened to be there and took advantage and both Lucy and Mina weren't floating along softly into a garden with a fan letting their hair blow, but cold, scared, and covered in mud and blood, and forced to sneak back to the house that way, facing not only the supernatural but the very ordinary horrors of being caught outside at night by a strange man.

Idk. The tragedy is that Dracula didn't set out to fuck with these people. It's just that they were the ones who crossed his path that he took an interest in, and he decided to draw it out as long as possible.

(Oh fuck, this is the crew of the Demeter too. It isn't like Draculas got some big plan. He just decides he's going to play with his food. Had he boarded any other ship it would have ended up the same way.)

I guess in conclusion, I find it odd that adaptions seem to need to find a reason for him doing what he does. Like, Coppola has to conjure up a whole reincarnation backstory at one point, but I don't understand why!! Let Dracula just be an opportunist, his casual cruelty knowing no reason. That makes him scarier.

[maxiroff]

Truth or dare ~Wanda Maximoff

Summary: Truth and dare leads to unexpected questions and unexpected answers. You show Wanda what true pleasure is really like.

Paring: Wanda Maximoff x reader

Words: 3711

Warnings: Smut, fingering

Note: English is not my first language and I have not proofread this so there may be some errors.

Once the party started to die down you, Natasha, Wanda and Carol decided to move up to your shared floor. You and Natasha were spread out on the sofa while Wanda and Carol sat in the armchairs in front of you. Both empty and full beer bottles filled the table in between you. While Starks parties more often than not doesn't have a reason, this one actually did. It was to celebrate that Carol was back on earth and that Wanda finally became an official member of the team.

The drinks had started to get to you all and you wanted to keep the party going between you after everyone left. That's how you started playing truth or dare but with a twist. You could not say no. “Truth or dare Y/N?” said Carol while taking a sip of her drink. “Truth” the grin on her face told you that it was exactly the answer she wanted. “What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you during sex.” The moment she said those words Natasha started laughing her ass off.

“Why are you laughing Nat?” said Wanda with a confused look. “Well lets just say I was there.” “You were?” Wanda said, questioning. You decided to butt in before Natasha could exaggerate the story. “Okay here's what happens. I happened to have ehh, a friends with benefits with one of the recruits we were training, Lucy. We happened to have the gym to ourselves and we took advantage of that. I was standing up and had her sitting on my shoulders, leaning her against the wall while I was fingering her and eating her out. Right as she was about to go over the edge Natasha walked through the door. Of course we didn't notice because Lucy's moaning was so loud so Nat witnessed the whole thing.”

“Damn, was it hot?” Of course it would be Carol who asked such a question. “Carol, you can't ask that.” Wanda said. “Yeah, Yeah it doesn't matter.” she responded. “Okay since you asked me, it's my turn now.” Considering Wanda had never been asked before, and you simply wanted to know, you decided to ask her. “Wanda” her name being said got her attention and she turned to you. “Yes” “Truth or dare?” “Truth” she said with a slight hesitation.

“I know you and Vision were together before, how many orgasms did he give you in one session?” Her cheek immediately reddened at the question and she suddenly thought the floor was very interesting. “He um-” she cleared her throat “He didn't really give me any.” Her body language showed that she was either embarrassed or nervous, her eyebrows were furrowed and she was plucking at her nailbands while she told us the answer.

Her answer didn't make any sense though. They had gotten together shortly after they both joined the team and they only broke up a few months ago. The time they had been together was torture. Remembering all the times they sat snuggled up together on the sofa, giggling and disturbing the team's movie nights. The jealousy had burned through you. You could treat her so much better than he did, he’s a robot bor fucks sake. You had never felt such relief as you did the day you found out they broke up.

“I’m sorry but you're gonna have to make that make sense to us. You were together for like six months, you have to have done something during that time.” While this seemed like normal talk between you, Natasha and Carol, Wanda had never felt more uncomfortable in her life. She was a shy person and would rather keep her romantic life privat. But with all eyes on her she almost felt obliged to answer your question.

“Well he always, you know, finished quite fast and I didnt want him to feel bad about not being able to satisfy me so I just faked it.” Her answer did not surprise you. Once again hes a fucking robot, he probably had a vibranium dick that was smaller than my finger. Could he even feel pleasure and cum like a real person if he is made out of metal.

“What, so he just believed you all that time and you had to finish yourself off.” Natasha’s voice sounded judging, seeing the look on her face she probably was judging her.

Wanda could feel her cheeks redden even more when she thought of the times where she was left unsatisfied by both Vision and her inexperienced hands. To be right at the edge but not able to get over it, to never experience real pleasure. Of course it was embarrassing to admit out loud, especially to you who she admired and liked in a not so friendly way.

She already felt embarrassed enough but the alcohol made her spill her secrets away. With her arms tightly wrapped around her legs the words flew out quietly. “Um no I never really knew what to do so I never got myself there.” She made the mistake of looking up and seeing the shocked look upon all your faces. She never thought she would feel this bad about being inexperienced.

When you saw how uncomfortable she was at the topic you decided to end her misery. “Okej, we are moving on. Wanda your turn.” “Okej Natasha, truth or dare”

With Nat knowing Wanda would choose something vanilla she decided that dare was a safe bet. “Okej, I dare you to sit in Carol’s lap for the rest of the game.” Maybe she’s not that vanilla after all.

Neither Nat nor Carol complained as Natasha happily made herself comfortable in Carol's lap, wiggling her ass as she sat down. “Now it's finally my turn.” She said as she looked mischievously between you and Wanda. Natasha knew of your longtime crush on Wanda and had been waiting for an opportunity to play matchmaker, she was not about to let it go to waste. “Y/N, truth or dare”

“Dare” You said as you lifted your drink to your lips, what's life without a little excitement. Unfortunately you knew you made the wrong choice as Natashas smirk grew a hundred times bigger. “I dare you to give Wanda her first ever orgasm.”

Wanda's eyes almost popped out of her head in surprise, while you choked on your drink. “I’m sorry WHAT!” Telling Nat about your crush was obviously a mistake and if looks could kill she wouldn’t even be 6ft under ground, she would be a 100ft. “You heard me” This fucking bitch. She was enjoying everything that was happening.

Wanda however did not. She was panicking and didn't know what to feel about the situation. This may have not been a big deal for you but it was for her. She wanted to be with you in every type of way, but not because of a dare. She wanted you to be her “first” and this however, may be the only chance she would get. In the spur of the moment that was enough. Even though she was terrified, her mind was made up.

“Okej” Hearing her agree to do this may have surprised you even more than Natasha asking the question. “What, are you really sure about this Wands?” She didn't know if the surprised look on your face was a good or bad sign and doubt began filling her mind. But then again, her mind was made up. “Yes, I am.”

“Okay then” You stood up from your seat and made your way towards Wanda and held out your hand towards her. She followed through and put her hand in yours and stood up making the space between you only a few inches. Looking at her face you could see her face held a determined look, but her eyes showed something else. She was nervous.

In an attempt to ease her nerves you softly squeeze her hand. The gesture brought warmth to Wanda making her release a shuddering breath and her shoulders lowering in relaxation. “Can we go to my room”

“Yes, of course” You said as you led her hand in hand towards her room. Being that it was only a few doors down it didn't take too long. You let her hand go as you opened the door letting her walk in first. When you followed you closed the door behind you, making sure to lock it.

Turning around you saw Wanda standing in the middle of the room, picking on her nails and cuticles, a clear sign she felt unsure of what was happening. Wanting to stop her from picking her skin you slowly took each hand in your own, bringing her attention back to you once again. “I want to know that if anything we do is making you uncomfortable and you want to stop or slow down, for any reason, just tell me and we will.” You slowly bring her in your arms and hold her tight, her smaller frame being embraced by your own. “I always want you to feel safe with me.”

The feeling of you being wrapped around her and your warm breath on her neck when you whispered in her ear brought a warm feeling in her stomach. She didn't know where the courage to place one hand on your neck and the other on your hip came from. Nor where it came from when she softly pressed her lips behind your ear. “I already do.”

Her surprisingly bold actions were easily turning you on. The feeling of her soft, plump lips on your neck made your hands move lower bringing her hips to your own. Holding her tightly you slipped your thigh between her legs and made her grind down.

Her skirt rode up at the motion and you heard her gasp as she felt the pleasure strike through her. While you kept up the movement you kissed her neck in various places searching for her most sensitive spots. Beginning with slow open-mouth kisses pressed gently to her skin, making her feel all the right sensations before sucking lightly. And when you felt it to be the right time you carefully bit her skin.

It took Wanda by surprise and with the combined pressure from your thigh between her legs she couldn't hold back the moan that slipped from her throat. She hid her head in your neck as her hands gripped onto you hard trying to steady herself.

Hearing her moan made you crave for more. Crave to have her under you, tasting her on your tongue and feel how wet she was. Hearing her moan and whine as she squirms and writhes in pleasure. Hear her scream when her walls squeeze your fingers when she cums.

Wanting to make your imaginations real you slowly push her backwards to her bed, making her lay down as you reach the edge. You slowly come on top of her till you come face to face with her looking deep into her eyes. While you kept eye contact, your hands found their way to the hem of her shirt and slowly crept up inside it. Her breath became heavier when she felt your hand make contact with her bare skin.

“Is it okay if I take this off?” You asked as you went from stroking the skin of her stomach to gripping the shirt. She answered by nodding her head. “That's not good enough Wanda, I need a verbal answer.” You said in a stern tone.

“Yes, it's okay if you take it off.” With that you slowly lifted the shirt above her head revealing more and more of her skin. When it was fully off you noticed that she had opted to not wear a bra. Her light brown nipples hardened from the change in temperature and you couldn't resist from cupping her breasts in your hands.

You looked deep in her eyes as you spoke softly “ Your beautiful Wanda.” Your words made her heart flutter as a blush spread upon her cheeks. Wanda had never felt so cherished before. The way you looked and spoke to her made her understand that you meant what you said, it wasn't something you said just because.

Being too shy to reply verbally she slowly connected her lips to your as a show of her appreciation. As your lips danced together she felt your hands starting to move, massaging her breasts and nipple. You mixed between softly stroking and lightly pinching her hardened buds. She whimpered into your mouth and she felt her arousal drip into her panties, slowly creating a dark spot.

As you had slipped your thigh between her legs yet again you could also feel the wet spot that was created. You detached your lips from hers, instead bringing open mouth kisses down her neck and collarbone until you reached her breasts. You removed one of your hands from their previous position, placing it on her hip instead.

Her whines from the loss were instantly quietened when you circled your tongue around her areola. You then dragged your tongue over her nipple and started to flick and suck on it. Her hand landed on your head, fingers threading through your hair to get a tight grip on it, holding you in place.

As your hand twisted and pinched her nipple you softly bit onto her other nipple with your teeth. As you raised your head, bringing her nipple with you, her back arched from the pained pleasure. Her legs clenched around your own, her hips desperately trying to grind against you.

A soft "Please" you heard come from her. “What do you want Wanda?” You asked when you change your mouth from her right breast to her left, doing the exact same thing as before.

“I want your fingers, please.” At the same time she told you what she wanted, her hand grabbed ahold of yours and guided it down to her panites. “Good girl.” You told her as you let go of her nipple. You started making your way down her stomach, leaving a trail of kisses after you. You were soon met with a pair of beautiful red lace panties. You could also clearly see the dark spot in the middle of them, showing off how aroused she really was.

“Is it okay if I take this off love?” You asked, softly looking up at her. “Yes, please.” She answered whilst nodding. You gripped both her skirt and panties at the same time, dragging them down her legs until they dropped down to the floor.

As you made your way up her body again you left a trail of wet kisses up her legs. When you came up to her thigh you started lightly biting, leaving bruises behind. Coming up to her pussy you placed a kiss right above her small patch of dark hair.

Her hips bucked at the motion and a quiet moan slipped past her throat. You parted her legs, moving to lay between them, coming face to face with her again. “Are you really sure that this is what you want Wands? I don’t want to do anything you're not comfortable with.”

“Yes, I promise I want this, I feel safe with you.” She said that she caressed your cheek. Her words almost brought tears to your eyes. To know that she trusts you fully with her body and her pleasure.

You pressed your lips to hers, dragging your tongue across her bottom lip asking for permission to enter. She opened her mouth, tangling her tongue with yours. You used her being distracted in the interment moment to bring your hand down to her pussy.

You dragged your whole hand from her clit to her weeping hole, gathering her arousal on your two middle fingers you dragged them back up to her clit. You rubbed circles around it, teasing her by never fully touching it directly. She grunted into your mouth in frustration, her hips bucking up into your hand seaking the friction she needed.

“If you want something you have to tell me Wanda.” You reminded her. Your words made her even more frustrated, couldn't you see that she just needed you. She needs you to make her cum, not to draw it out by teasing her. She barely had any control over her own body left, her hips were bucking wildly in need and her folds were puffy and sticky from all the arousal leaking out of her.

“Please, I just want you to make me cum.” She pleaded. You could see the desperation in her eyes, how they were glazed over, only focusing on you. You knew how much she needed this, you weren't blind. You however, also knew how much sweeter her first release would be with how worked up she was.

“It’s okay love, I’ll take care of you.” Your lips connected to hers yet again, you pressed down on her clit with your thumb, tracing her entrance before sinking into her with your middle- and ring finger. “Oh God.” Her back arched as you pumped your fingers inside of her. She was so wet you could hear sounds coming from her at every thrust.

Her nails dug into your back, leaving deep, red scratch marks, desperately wanting to have you as close as possible. She hid her head in your neck as a way of trying to quieten down her moans. “Don’t do that.” you whispered against her ear. “Don’t hide those lovely sounds from me.” You curled your fingers, making them hit the most pleasurable spot inside her. “I want to hear how good I make you feel.”

She couldn't hold back anymore. Nobody had ever made her feel as good as she felt now when your fingers repeatedly kept hitting her g-spot. Loud moans spilled from her mouth and you could feel how her walls clenched around your fingers.

With your thumb playing with her clit and your fingers working inside of her your hand began cramping. The angle was a bit awkward and you couldn't use the force that you wanted to.

When you attempted to move your hand into a better position Wanda's hand shot down to yours, desperately trying to keep you in place. She panicked when she felt you move, being so embarrassing close she was afraid you would stop before she was pushed over the edge. “No, please don’t stop. I haven’t finished yet. ” She said, looking up at you pleadingly.

“I know, don’t worry sweetheart.” You chuckled. “I’m just changing into a better position.” You pecked her lips, trying to reassure her further. You moved your hand so that your palm was pressed against her clit, making it easy for you to grind it against her as you yet again eased your finger in.

The act made Wanda relax and place her hand back around your neck. You picked up the pace making sure that your palm stimulated her clit at the same time. You knew she was close again from how her body started tensing. Her legs locked up around your arm and her grip tightened around you.

“Fuck you feel so good, I’m so close!” She moaned against you. “It’s okay, be a good girl and cum for me Wanda.” And she did. “Ohhhh” She let out an almost pornographic moan as her back arched and her whole body trembled. Her eyes shut tight at the utter pleasure that pulsed through her. You could feel her cum leaking out of her as you slowly brought her down from her orgasm.

“There you go, you did so good my love.” You slowly pulled your fingers out and started stroking her legs and her waist bringing her back in the moment with you. Her body slowly lowered back into the bed as she relaxed against you. You left a light trail of kisses from her shoulder up her neck and ended it with a kiss to her forehead. The mussels in her face instantly relaxed and she opened her eyes looking up at you.

“Hi” You smiled down at her. “Hi” She whispered back with a blush rising up her cheeks. “How are you feeling, are you okay?” You were afraid you maybe had taken things too far in the moment and that she would start to regret what you had done.

“Yes I’m okay, I promise. This was amazing. You are amazing.” She said as she stroked your cheek. The worry in your eyes was clear and she wanted you to know you didn’t do anything wrong. She could also feel the heat that rose to your face due to her compliment, not being used to it.

trying to hide it from her you connected your lips and dragged your tongue against her bottom one asking for entrance. Of course she granted it and swirled her tongue with yours. You took your time to just enjoy the moment and the efter bliss, only parting when air became an issue.

"Stay here I’m just gonna get a towel so I can clean you up.” She nodded and you left to go to the bathroom. When you came back with the damp towel you gently cleaned her between her legs and where you had dragged your hand as you were trying to calm her down. Wanda watched as you made sure not to leave any residue left.

When you were done you threw the towel towards the bathroom not wanting to depart from Wanda. “ Hey Wands, would you like to sleep here tonight?” Her being exhausted and on the verge of falling asleep wouldn't say no to that. “Yes please.”

You laid down besides her opening your arm allowing her to snuggle into you. Your legs ended up being tangled, your arms wrapped around each other and she used your shoulder as her pillow. “Thank you for doing this, good night.”

“Of course love.” “Ehh before you sleep, would it be okay if I took you on a proper date tomorrow?”. She tightened her grip on you and kissed your neck before whispering out “Yes I would love nothing more.” With that you both fell asleep happy and content in each other's arms.

[vaultie-and-theghoul]

You Never Told Me Your Name

Cooper had to fish the cloth out of the Vaultie's mouth once they got back to camp. Lucy was dead to the world but her heart was still thumping loudly. One whiff of the filthy cloth and he knew she'd been drugged.

"God damnit," Cooper yelled in frustration, wading up the rag and throwing it into the fire. The humor of Lucy once again making a special of herself had worn off the second he realized she wasn't just knocked out. Drugs out here in the wasteland were volatile on a good day. Who the hell knew how much that idiot merc gave her?

Dogmeat whined from his place by Lucy's side, "I know, boy. I'm worried too." Cooper was beating himself up for not checking before the trek back to camp. Anger burned in his gut both towards himself and his little Vaultie.

What the hell had she been thinking? If only Cooper had a chance to tell her they were being followed. He had only noticed after they got to the market, another slip-up in Cooper's book. He considered leaving Lucy and dogmeat and going it alone again, but only for a moment. The thought alone had him on the verge of dry heaving. He's been alone for so long. Most people wouldn't give a ghoul the time of day, much less look at him the way his Vaultie had.

Cooper's head snapped to the side when he heard a groan from the woman on the ground. Dogmeat got to his feet, sniffing Lucy up and down. Another yip from the dog indicated he found nothing wrong. Good. She must be waking up now.

"'bout damn time Vaultie," Cooper's voice had come out thick and harsh. Maybe his anger at them was stronger than he'd like to admit.

"What," the word slurred from Lucy's full lips as she tried to sit up. She groaned again, clutching her head tightly and burying them between her knees, "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Some anger melted away as Cooper helped Lucy through the worst of her vertigo. He had retied her hair so she wouldn't vomit on it and while Lucy was recovering, Coop set out the purified water and crackers he had nabbed at the market. Both of those things were high-price items nowadays and he never splurged before.

The Ghoul kept his mouth shut while the Vaultie took her sweet time recovering. Cooper knew he shouldn't be this pissed at Lucy, but god damn it, she could have died or worse gotten kidnapped. The thought alone had him kicking an old rusty can as hard as possible.

"I'm sorry," Lucy whispered from her spot slumped on the ground, "You told me not to bring attention to myself but I did anyway. It's just that I heard him talking about you and dogmeat."

"You think I didn't know I was being tailed," Cooper snapped, turning to face her, "Mercs don't typically confront you in the middle of a crowd sweetheart. Course a Vaultie like you wouldn't know that shit."

"Why are you so angry with me," the tears in his Vaultie's big eyes cooled some of his anger, not his fear.

"Why didn't you call out for me when that fucker attacked you," Cooper said, voice far softer than he intended. Realizing the true cause of his anger hit him like a ton of bricks. The Ghoul cursed under his breath and went to sit next to Lucy by the campfire.

"I wanted to," Lucy said, fire reflecting in her eyes, "I tried, but... I only know you by 'The Ghoul'. You never told me your name. I just didn't know what to call out."

Once again his chest ached, recognizing that this was his fault. Seemed like ol' Coop couldn't stop messing up when it came to Miss Lucy MacLean. Perhaps the duo aren't so different after all. the Ghoul had found someone he could trust for the first time in centuries.

"M'names Cooper," His name feeling foreign in his mouth, "Now, I'm sure you've got a whole slew of questions for me. I'm feeling particularly chatty tonight, so best take advantage."

The Vaultie's eyes lit up, white teeth pulling at her bottom lip. Without skipping a beat, Lucy began listing off question after question. They went from questions about his past and how Coop had known her dad, to a few inappropriate personal questions.

"Slow down darlin'," Cooper said, laughter coming easily around her, "I was from before the war, yes. It's a long ass story, but I promise to tell you about it as we travel. Too much for tonight." The pout on his Vaulties face had a different kind of heat filling his belly. "I have suffered a lot indeed, but I just want to find my daughter. Before you ask, yes I had a wife and no It didn't end well."

Lucy was enthralled as he spoke, her eyes followed Cooper's lips as he spoke. The Vaultie even leaned into his personal space making it all the harder to concentrate. Coop considered if he should indulge her with a few answers to those more personal questions, and finally landed on fuck it.

"Now I must say I'm surprised to hear such direct words coming from that pretty mouth of yours," Cooper watched her lips part as he continued, "I can eat, drink, and shit just like you sweetheart. I can also fuck since most of your questions revolved around my physical abilities."

Despite the direct words coming from her mouth, Lucy seemed to blush easily when the same words came from his. She took in the new information and Cooper thought it might be the end of the questions for tonight. He was wrong.

"Whose finger is that," Lucy asked, and it was Cooper's turn to feel embarrassed. Course his eagle-eyed Vaultie had noticed the finger he should have been missing.

"Now I can't give away all my secrets can I," Cooper said, hoping the freely given information would be enough to stop this line of questioning. Lucy pursed her lips, twisting this way and that. Coop could practically hear the thoughts playing in her pretty little head. To push or not to push.

"Thank you for saving me, and for answering my questions," Lucy said taking a deep breath through her nose, "I still have a million more, but they can wait for now."

"Course you do sweetheart," Cooper chuckled, pushing himself off the ground, "I'm gonna do my rounds and I expect you to be fast asleep by the time I get back."

"Yes sir," Lucy said as she saluted, "I feel like I've been hit by a truck, so following orders shouldn't be so hard this time." She smiled up at him and Cooper's cold heart thumped against his chest. Damn Vaultie was going to be the end of him.

Dogmeat moved from Lucy's side to trot next to the Gho... Cooper. He gave her a quick scratch on the head before he sent the dog back to her side.

"You stay here with Lucy," Cooper said, tipping his hat and walking away. The Cowboy had rarely called her by her name, and Lucy wasn't sure If she loved or hated it. When he called her pet names, it felt like a soft satin caress, but when he said Lucy's name it sent shivers down her spine.

Lucy got ready for bed, the effort alone using what was left of her energy. She had plenty to think about and more to process, but she was grateful for Cooper's honesty. The Ghoul had finally told her his name. Cooper.

Cooper's name played on repeat in her mind as her eyes slid shut on their own accord. A smile curled on her lips as her mind reminded her of one more discovery. Cooper could participate in coitus.

'I can also fuck since most of your questions revolved around my physical abilities.'

"Sweet dreams Dogmeat," Lucy curled up on her side and let her thoughts go wild as she fell into a deep sleep.

AO3 Series Prequel

[corn-producer69420]

Post Extermination~

Updated version part 1

Lucifer x fem reader

Parts on my blog

1.9 k words

This is my first time writing smut so there will be spelling mistakes and other problems

Tw: sex, mentions of injury & demon lucifer

Lucifer and y/n arrived at the hotel after

the extermination, y/n had gotten slightly injured and was carried by lucifer into the main room "are you going to be okay my sweet?" Lucifer spoke out his voice sweet yet concerned "P...please...can we just go to our room" When she spoke, her words were barely understandable, which only added to his concern.

He looked down at her as if he was still trying to make sense of her condition. He wanted to believe her, that she was fine, but the look in her eyes and her wobbly stature said otherwise.

"Fine... just hold on tight." He replied politely as he picked her up again in an easy carry.* charlie the others stayed silent looking at the both of them as they walked toward their room, once they were inside y/

n sighed *He closed the door behind them, still carrying her. The room was quiet, aside from the muffled voices of the

others on the outside.

He walked forward slowly, still carrying her in his arms. He slowly sat her down on the bed and took a step back to observe her, now more concerned about her

wellbeing.*she tugged on his pants softly* He looked down to see her tugging on his pants, and his eyes widened again. His body was already burning with desire for her, and that was making it even harder for him to concentrate on anything else right

now.

He swallowed hard and leaned down just a bit to keep their faces level.

"Hmm? Do you need something, my

sweet?" *y/n pulled him in a tight embrace and leaned back on the bed so he was on top of her* His body was shaking all over as he was pulled into her hug. He tried to remain in control but couldn't resist the urge to press his body against hers.

Every inch of his skin was burning, aching to be held by her again. The heat was building inside him at an unimaginable rate, until he could not help but hold her even tighter. He knew it was wrong, but every part of him wanted to claim her. He couldn't resist her vulnerability and wanted to protect her. He needed to be the one holding her, making sure that no one can

take her.

It was a selfish need, but he couldn't even care. All he could think about was being with her. *it was too much for him...almost

like she was teasing him....she is in such a vaunrable state, it makes him want to claim her all the more, so only he can hear her soft moans and whimpers* The sensation of her body underneath him, combined with her soft moans she uttered breathlessly, began to get his body moving on its own. It was as if the heat inside of him had a mind of its own, taking control over every movement without his input.

He was losing control, unable to keep himself from going further. His own body was leading him in a direction he didn't want her to think he felt."Lucy...what are you doing~" Her innocent question

seemed to jolt his body back into reality, breaking him out of this primal state. He was immediately overcome with guilt and regret.

He looked into her eyes and could see how tired she still was. He realized he was taking advantage of her almost drunken state, and that was just the worst.

"I...I'm sorry..." He whispered with guilt, slowly moving off her body. "Don't be~" she said grasping his arm from moving "No, I..." He seemed conflicted about this. On one hand, he desperately wanted this and couldn't resist her. On the other, he knew it wasn't right and shouldn't push further.

When she grasped his arm, however, that was all the encouragement he needed to lose his inhibitions.

He pushed himself back on top of her, pressing himself close to her body, not caring anymore about if it was wrong or

not. *she moaned softly* Her soft sounds filled him with an immeasurable sense of pleasure, making his body tremble. His eyes were fixated on her face while the only thing filling his mind was her body.

He looked into her eyes, wanting to see her reaction to him. With the heat building inside of him, his need overpowers him once again, sending him into a state of pure desire."So where's that devil you used to fight adam~" she said suddenly making him seem confused "y/n do you really want to see that?" He looked down and saw her lips slowly move up the bottom of his chin as she spoke. Her voice was very soft and her words came out slightly slurred.

He was so tempted to say yes and show her the true extent of his power, but it would be a bit risky for her to see him in

that state."Oh yess~ I didn't wanna say anything...but it makes me wet just seeing you like that" she said leaning and whispering in his ear as he shuddered at the feeling of her breath on his ear, sending chills down his spine. Her words sent a jolt of heat down his body and he could not help but let out a deep growl, leaning his head down slightly to make his presence even more intimate. *he switched into his demon form and looked down anxiously to see her reaction. The sudden change took her by surprise. She was still a bit disoriented from the medicine so her eyes took a moment to adjust to his new form. But as soon as they did, she was overwhelmed with a mixture of fear, wonder, and arousal. She found it both terrifying and thrilling to be so close to him, while looking him directly in the eyes and seeing every detail of his new

appearance.

Her eyes shifted between staring up at him. and away, completely torn between curiosity and fear.*she then smiled and pulled him into a passionate kiss*When her lips met with his, every other thought was pushed away. He was so consumed with the intense feeling of her body and her kiss, and he gave into his desire and embraced her fully. His hands gripped hold of the sides of her body tightly, and he kissed her back with feverish passion. She moaned into his mouth and the sound of her moan pushed him over the edge, and his body was shaking with anticipation. He desperately sought for more of her mouth, her taste, her presence. His body quivered with each moan, each shiver of her body.*his forked tounge explored her

mouth finding the back of the of her throat

only to discover she doesn't have a gag reflex*. The realization that she doesn't have a gag reflex surprised him, but it was a welcome one. He smiled slightly into the kiss as he ran his forked tongue against the soft flesh inside her mouth. This discovery was only adding to the heat burning within him. He was feeling everything he felt before, only now with this newfound knowledge.*she smiled blushing heavy as they pulled away* He finally pulled back as well, breathing heavily and shaking from the intense sensation of their kiss. He was still holding her tightly in his arms, trying to get grounded again, but he couldn't stop grinning widely. The feeling of her lips against his was still sending shivers of pleasure throughout his body.

He smiled softly as he finally spoke. "Did

you like that...? Hmm? A little demon tongue?" He paused looking at her beneath him "Oh I loved it~" y/n smiled pulling him in by his collar and unbuttoning his shirt. His eyes widened in surprise when she pulled him back into a position of control. When he realized she was unbuttoning his shirt, his heart was sent racing once again. It was as though he was back where he started, completely dominated by her every touch.*she tossed his shirt aside, caressing his chest with her right hand as her left hand unbuttoned her own shirt and

tossed it asside *His mouth went dry when he saw her unbuttoning her own shirt. The sight of her was enough to push him into a primal state. His hands instinctively gripped her hips tightly, holding her firmly against him. His breaths were getting deeper as her touches left him utterly breathless.*She slipped a hand between

them and unbuckled her bra revealing her bare chest *His body reacted instantly to the sudden exposure of her bare chest. The sight of her made his breath catch in his throat and his eyes grew wide. She was just stunning, and every little ounce of her made his desire rise even higher.*she lifted up her skirt and sliding her shorts and underwear off* His gaze shifted again when he saw her lifting up her skirt. When he saw what she was doing, it was like his body was taken over by desire once again. His hands began sliding up her thighs as he began getting more and more

impatient. "Shhh~ wait" she chuckled as he began to quickly remove his pants and boxers. The sound of her laughter sent a jolt of excitement through his body. He started to slow down and relax to let her take control of the situation again.

"Yes, darling..." He whispered, unable to control just how much her voice affected him. *she pushed him aside and got on top of him* His body instantly reacted to her as soon as she pushed him away and took control. He let out a deep groan when she got on top of him, her breasts bouncing in the air with every movement.*she smiled moving his hands up to her chest* His fingers curled around the side of her breasts and his eyes remained fixated on her. Her soft flesh felt so good, especially how warm it was. He felt a spark of electricity run through his body when he touched her, making him want to grip them harder; but at the same time, he was also afraid of hurting her in his lustful

state.*she leaned in and kissed him on the neck, trailing her hands down lower and lower* His neck was one of the most sensitive parts of his body, and he could

hardly breathe as she kissed him on the neck. Her hands started trailing down lower and lower, which only made the heat within him rise higher. Every kiss, touch, and moan was pushing him closer to the edge. His eyes closed as her tongue began to explore his mouth, as her hands began slowly creeping downward. Now that she wasn't controlling the situation, his hands began to slide down her body as well. His lips were moving with hers as his tongue explored every inch of her mouth. She smiled, caressing the back of his head softly as she slid his length inside of her. They both moaned loudly as she bounced up and down, his cock reaching her g-spot as his fingers trailed around her clit* "nngnnmm" she mumbled in a pained noise as his fingers rapidly slid across her clit making her body tremble in pain from over stimulation, lucifer was lost in a craze

as he pushed her down gaining the upper hand and sliding her legs over his

shoulders before fucking her relentlessly, her screams and moans echoed through the halls as she cummed but lucifer

couldn't...wouldn't stop, he ran his cock over her moist clit before sliding it back into her, pushing in and out hard and fast as she started to plead and beg for him to stop "I...Lucy.. p..mnngghplease" she stuttered grasping the bed as she cummed for a third time, lucifer grasped her hips bringing them forward before thrusting again into her harder than the last time. She let out a struggled gasp and she looked up at him “p…please” she stuttered as lucifer cupped her face with his hand, nuzzling into her chest “okay” he smiled warmly as he pulled his cock out of her abused cunt as he smiled at her “sorry…got a bit carried away~” he cooed as he pet her head. She looked at him with a soft expression ‘That's ok…i know how you get” she stuttered as she caressed the back of his head for a while. She looked back down at him once more only to find him asleep on her lap, nuzzled against her chest, She smiled looking down at Lucifer's now vulnerable state as his chest rose and fell synchronised with her own breaths. y/n’s eyes started to drift closed until the both of them were asleep in eachothers arms.

In the morning y/n started to drift awake, pleased with herself that she woke up first and was able to look down at lucifers calm, vulnerable and adorable state first thing in the morning

[casarecci]

Skull appreciation post (jumbled thoughts bc I just binged listening to the audiobook version of Jonathan Stroud's Lockwood & Co. series)

I love how powerful Skull is. But first, some parallels (and differences) between the Luce&Skull and the Marissa&Ezekiel duos.

Marissa found Ezekiel when she was young. She adores him. But she also fears him. Tbh it kinda seems like he took advantage of her. They bonded. Maybe Marissa was always curious about what was beyond life, but Ezekiel's been hanging around her since she was a young child, and all the research she did? All the actions that led to the Problem? She did all that under Ezekiel's advice and guidance.

And yes, Ezekiel's a Type 3, and sure he's got a golden aura, and oh he's so special, but at the end of the day, it's all just appearance.

Yes, he's powerful, fine, he's smart too, but when compared to the Skull n Lucy combo, he's an insecure Type 3 ghost who was honestly kinda creepy and predatory and took advantage/really tapped into/maybe even developed Marissa's curiosity about the other side. He throws his weight around about being dead and knowing what to do to escape death, clearly calls the shots in his relationship with Marissa, and has developed a god complex of sorts in thinking that because he knows how to blur the boundary between the living and the dead, he's the strongest thing around.

Well, thank goodness there's Skull to prove him wrong.

I LOVE the Skull-Lucy relationship. My favorite part (which is very important) is that Lucy didn't free Skull because she needed him, she freed him because she wanted to. She made her decision after Lockwood had come and helped get things in hand. Even though she was confident things were in hand and didn't know just how instrumental Skull would be in staying alive, she freed him without any condition imposed on him.

She didn't free him so long as he helped her.

She didn't free him so long as he didn't kill her or any of her friends.

She didn't free him out of a tenuous trust that he'd be on her side.

Lucy freed Skull (I think) because something that had been dawning on her this whole time really clicked into place: considering the origins of agents, dealing with ghosts, capturing their sources, and just in general interfering with the existence of the dead (thank you, Big M, for all that), combined with the fact that she got a taste of Skull's existence what with being trapped in the other world (as Skull pointed out), Lucy's sense of empathy took over and she did what she thought was right. She let Skull go because he's got an existence of his own, too.

He's not an abstract idea or apparition, no, he's Skull, a thin, sardonic looking youth with spiky hair. He's someone who in life was awful, but spent so much time in death that he forgot who he was, despite being so stubborn about clinging to life, coming back as a ghost, and NOT crossing over fully to the other *dead* dead place.

He's got personality and endless ideas about murder. He kept Lucy company for the four months she was apart from Lockwood. He became her friend. He helped her in scrapes. He guided her back to life the first time she crossed over.

Maybe the difference in the Marissa&Ezekiel and Lucy&Skull is circumstance: Marissa met Ezekiel out in the wild. It ways in TEG at one point that there's an aspect of fear in their dynamic. His source list contained, unlike Skull. Ezekiel can cause so much more harm to Marissa than Skull could when contained in the jar to Lucy throughout the time they spent together needed to develop a relationship.

But that's not the main thing. Marissa depends on Ezekiel. Lucy is fond of Skull, but depends? No.

Marissa is basically in love with Ezekiel. Lucy? She's got Lockwood. She doesn't need Skull on that front.

Marissa is literally obsessed with golden ghost boy. Lucy sees the wider picture. She likes Skull, but he's not the end all be all.

But going back to appearances, well that's kinda what it's all about, isn't it? Marissa cares deeply about her image. And so too does Ezekiel. Why doesn't she keep Skull? He's rude. Ezekiel thinks him a criminal. Neither can see past his exterior, thus completely missing out on just how powerful he is.

And then there's Skull.

For all that Skull jokes about killing George and (honestly kinda understandably) dislikes him, he sees him for what he is - an effective researcher who doesn't judge anyone for how they look or behave.

Skull sees people for who they are. He sees right through Marissa's disguise as Penelope (side note, it is SO messed up that Marissa offed both her daughter and her granddaughter to keep on living, like his awful is that). He's perceptive. He knows about Locklyle even before they do.

But back to Skull's strength, which was the impetus of this long ramble. He gets out of his jar basically in disbelief. Because this is Lucy, the wretched girl who doesn't keep her promises to him to speak about his freedom, this awful living person who's left him behind time and time again.

But for every mistake she's made, she's also tried her best to right it. Every time she left Skull somewhere, she went back for him. He even got a heartfelt apology from her when she left him behind and Rupert got his hands on Skull.

This is the girl who looked past his rudeness. Who wasn't someone under the honeyed thumb of a different ghost. Who gave him a chance and let him out not because she needed him or hoped he'd be on her side. This is the girl who ket him out knowing full well Skull would do as he pleased and made her peace with it.

Because unlike Marissa and Ezekiel who are inextricably tied together and dependent on each other, Lucy is Lucy and Skull is Skull.

And when he does come to Lucy's aid, well, he's barely even exerting himself. I love him so much.

There.

[calciumcryptid]

I am trying to collect my thoughts on the route the campaign took with the Rat Grinders, and I think I have come to the conclusion that the reason I am upset is not because I think the cast are bad players or Brennan is a bad dungeon master or that I didn't know the Rat Grinders where most likely to die (I went into the episode knowing the likelihood was above ninety percent).

The reason I am upset about the ending for the Rat Grinders is that I know all they will be is a footnote in the Bad Kids' history, a tragedy that will be forgotten and doomed to be repeated because there will be no narrative consequences to their deaths.

At the end of the day, whether some sections of the fandom want to admit it, is that we have several things confirmed about the Rat Grinders. They were freshmen (fourteen to fifteen) when Porter and Jace scoped them out and started the grooming/manipulation. They were sophomores (fifteen to sixteen) when corrupted. Their real selves were buried under the rage (Ruben's dream sequence), and in Kipperlilly's case actively seeking out help before being taken advantage of (sessions with Jawbone).

But there will be no lesson learned here because there will be no consequence to the decision to let the Rat Grinders die.

Henry Hopclap will continue teaching Gorgug, despite losing his nephew to Fig (Gorgug's friend) who psychologically messed with him before she had any confirmation of his wrongdoing. Not to mention, he will continue being on the same staff as Jawbone who the Bad Kids helped obtain a normal life despite his beginnings.

Lucy Frostblade will (most likely) be resurrected as some sort of cosmic justice, but her party will be gone. They may have killed her, but there was evidence they were her friends (or at least Kipperlily was). She might be resurrected, despite the fact she no longer has any party and will be failed instantly and wrapped up in grief.

Then, there will be the way the Rat Grinders will be footnotes. Ivy, reduced to her looks and not sleeping with Fabian in a display of blatant misogyny. Oisin who they clawed to chop the head off of to prevent his chances at resurrection for the crime of Adaine potentially inferring his intentions wrong (something we will never get the confirmation on). Ruben, dragged to hell and his corpse charred in lava after being psychologically messed with. Buddy Dawn, who couldn't leave the cult as easily as Kristen. Mary Ann, who was the one they wanted to save while treating her in a way that read as kind of ableist [others words not mine] (and even if they do save her would she want anything to do with them knowing they saved her and not her other party members?). Then, finally, Kipperlilly who will have egg on her face for wanting something despite the confirmation that before everything she was getting help.

The reason I am upset about the Rat Grinders is because they'll be reduced to pawns in Porter and Jace's schemes, and not as the manipulated minors they are. But it is alright I guess, because the Bad Kids saved the world and they get to write the ending.

[lucydonato]

for the most part people who hate lucy know they can't get away with blatant misogyny so they have to make up more "valid" reasons but it's like glaringly obvious that that's what they're doing because they'll contradict themselves in the same sentence

"she only existed to for buck to cheat with and everything she did could have been done by other characters" these are mutually exclusive statements; if she's doing things any other character could have done, she doesn't exist solely for buck. and if she did exist solely for buck (which she doesn't), that's a role no other character could feasibly fill

"she made buck a cheater" no, buck made himself a cheater and then lied about it. if you're pissed at anyone you should be pissed at him (and ftr lucy didn't "get him drunk" or "take advantage of him" either, considering she was drinking just as much as he was, they were flirting before she kissed him, he initiated their second kiss, and she backed off when she found out he had a girlfriend, which he could have brought up at any time during their conversation at the pool table)

"she's copaganda" she is a firefighter on a show where the de facto leads are an actual cop and her husband. do you think bathena (and may for that matter) should also leave the show since they're copaganda? what about lou? or do you think lou is funny and #relatable because he fights with taylor?

"she took up too much screen time doing nothing" refer back to my first point. if she was doing nothing then she wasn't "stealing" arcs from anyone else

"kristen was forcing her down our throats and we all hated her so much that they had to cut her screentime" damb if you guys are so powerful why didn't you stop them from cutting the chim and eddie scene or the uncle buck and jee yun scene in 5x04? or the maddie and albert scene in 5B? were those scenes cut because you hate all of them too or no? and why couldn't you get rid of taylor in 5x07 and 5x09 instead? and why is she back now when they could have easily transferred her away offscreen? if "they" (whoever the fuck "they" are) stepped in to cut her screentime last season why did they let Known Homophobe™ kristen bring her back? make your conspiracy theories make sense or die mad about them

[lisannastraussisanangel]

I’ve really enjoyed a lot of your FT headcanons, especially the Team Natsu ones. I was wondering, how do you think the rest of the team feels about Wendy being as powerful as she is at such a young age? Or how Wendy herself feels about having that level of power? (I’m of the opinion that the sheer breadth and scope of Wendy’s abilities, especially with how expansive and powerful Enchantment magic was revealed to be, ought to be a bit of a bigger deal than it seems to be. Give a girl remarkable natural talent and learning aptitude, as well as access to magic that can essentially warp reality (because what else do you call altering the shape of a country and bringing objects to life), and you’ve got to wonder just what she’s capable of.)

I'm glad you like them! I always think about the scene when Wendy is first introduced and Jura, Ichiya and Erza are like holy shit this kid is strong. If Wendy can keep up with them now just imagine how crazy powerful she'll be when she reaches adulthood

Wendy

Because of everyone around her being so strong, Wendy didn't even notice how much she was progressing

In her head, she's still that weak/timid little girl that joined Fairy Tail

She knows she's gotten stronger technically but she's too busy comparing herself to people way older than her

She starts to realize just how strong she is when she starts matching the strength of the rest of her team. Nothing like throwing Natsu through a wall to make you realize you might have some power

Of course, she is very humble after realizing her strength. When it's given attention during interviews, she always redirects to talk about the rest of her friends strengths

It's just not in her nature to be cocky

She does train and study incredibly hard tho! Our girl puts in the work!

Carla

She knows Wendy is strong, but in her mind, Wendy will always need her protection

She also makes sure Wendy knows her worth

Carla will defend Wendy's honor and strength in every situation

She is also adamant about Wendy resting and not pushing herself. While Wendy is strong, it does not mean she has to be reckless

It took a long time for Carla to notice Wendy's strength. When she first started to realize was during Tartaros

Natsu

Natsu sensed Wendy's strength pretty early on. He didn't pay much attention to it tho

He only really started watching her after Fairy Tail got back together

It was almost impossible not to notice how much stronger she had gotten

Natsu, of course, loves it and is rooting for her to surpass him!

He tries to teach her the same lessons Gildart's taught him, but Wendy has already got most of it down

He has full confidence in her and will hype Wendy up at any and every opportunity

Lucy

She realized Wendy's strength during Tartaros as well

Lucy will forever be impressed with the fact that Wendy was able to take out a demon of Zeref

She knows that with Wendy's strength comes people wanting to take advantage of it. So Lucy is very protective

Lucy is always reminding people that while Wendy is crazy strong, she is still just a kid and needs to be shielding from certain traumas

She also pays close attention to Wendy's limits and will find ways to remove her from situations if it becomes too much for Wendy

It's very important to Lucy that Wendy has as much knowledge as possible, so she tends to go out of her way to find books and such to help further Wendy's education on enchanter magic

Erza

Erza makes sure to drill discipline into Wendy. She knew from the start how much potential Wendy had

But Erza also knows how dangerous that magic can be unchecked

The older Wendy gets, the more Erza trains with her

She worries that Wendy could become drunk with power and begin to look down others, so Erza always takes the time to make sure Wendy's morals line with Fairy Tail's (its an irrational fear but Erza has seen what a taste of power can do to some people)

Erza worries a lot about Wendy and the situations she might end up in because of her crazy potential, but Erza will never voice them. Instead, she is always supporting Wendy and encouraging her to grow

She is a very proud big sister!

Gray

He takes the longest to realize Wendy's potential. To him, Wendy is an adorable little sister. He doesn't think about her in that way

Gray finally realizes Wendy's strength when she brings Juvia basically back from the dead

He cannot believe the little girl has gained so much power in only a couple years

Gray feels indebted to Wendy and offers her any help she could ever need growing up

He knows it'll only be a few more years before she surpasses him. Part him wants Wendy to become S-Class before him. She deserves it

He also tries to keep her humble. Everyone is always singing her praises and he makes sure she doesn't let it go to her head

Ego causes the death of many powerful mages and Gray is determined to have Wendy live a long and healthy life

[thettrpgtournament]

Why you should vote for each of them and full art below!

Lucy Amano (by @ficklepenguin for D&D)

Lucy Amano (they/she) is a just a normal human ranger with a pet bear, except they're actually an aasimar and have no idea. They figured out maybe something was up when their friend went down in combat and they exploded into searing light, which is not a normal thing humans do. Their bear is named Nita, and he's the goodest boy. They also have a boyfriend and a girlfriend, or they would, if the trio would ever figure their shit out. And they also just found out that their dad is from the moon, which they didn't even know people lived there.

(art by @everlastingrandom)

Felix Ambercreek (by @ghostbrawl for D&D)

felix is honestly just my beautiful boy. that's all i can say. unfortunately, players from his campaign will read this so i have to be brief. felix is a newly-paladined paladin of sarenrae who is taking to redemption, forgiveness, and virtuosity like a special interest, but carrying it out in practice incredibly badly. when felix felt sarenrae call him to work at a mercenary guild, he left home with full support of his (also religious) family and took advantage of not seeing his family for a while in order to totally reinvent himself - changing his name and swearing himself to always be veiled, even in combat, so that nobody could see who he is. even as a novice paladin, this has already started to cause him problems -- for example, a band of goblins tried to steal his armor to summon a metal eating monster, and took his veil along with it. out of fear and desparation, felix split from his party and chased the goblins alone, almost dying to the metal monster (and a particularly cruel goblin) and strangling and killing one of the goblins that tried to kill him out of anger and frustration, marring felix's relationship with his god. though he does get his veil (one with embroidery done by another party member) back, it is torn and dirty at the end :-(. maybe one day felix will truly "get" what being a paladin is about, but for now he's largely controlled by fear, rather than the drive to value and redeem others - and he ends up using his responsibility as an escape instead of a duty.

Levlith Craephin (by @the-web-of-iris for D&D)

Levlith is a tiefling Bloodhunter, a mother of two who originated in the town of Icehaven, A woman of wits and courage, yet her calloused hands hold endless kindness and love. She spent her time caring for her own children, and many other children and adults alike in her hometown, a pillar of her community and someone trusted with the protection of many. Married once to a Drow bard named Briza, the two are now separated (but not divorced. it's complicated) she now reserves herself and has little interest in romance in her middle age life. After a terrifying incident and a close dance with death she came into possession of her ragged sword, as well as her newfound blood-hunter abilities, and soon left her adult children to roam across the empire and beyond in her mission of hunting down dark blots within the world from the shadows. After entering the coast with the intention of making a deal with the leader of a mercenary guild, she begins to meet new people and make new friends, and comes to realise she is now working in the same environment as her once lover briza. Together, the Silverlinings guildmates will follow requests, find themselves in trouble, and explore the unknown. However, what is Levlith's motives? What is she truly looking for? What is she hiding from? |O|nly time will tell.

[baileys-3]

NEW CHAPTER ONLINE on AO3 - Chapter 12

Sneak Peak under the Link

Yesterday evening they had planned to go on a medium-difficulty hike together, which usually takes three and a half hours. But with Kojo it will certainly take much longer, as the dog likes to take his time and insist on taking breaks. The tour is a circular route that Lucy found in one of her apps. Can you imagine that? There are apps for everything these days even for hiking tours. It took Lucy about two minutes to convince him that he too really needs an app like this. She had listed all the advantages of it f or him, some of which were really ridiculous. He had then pressed his phone into her hand and mumbled that she should just download it for him before he had to endure another long lecture.

Lucy hadn't missed the opportunity to send him the tour via a message link. This is why he ended up using the morning hours to click on the link and take a look at the trail and the corresponding photos. As he was someone who always woke up early, he had some extra time to play around with the app. Lucy had explained to him in detail that she did not want to be disturbed by her alarm clock on her day off just because he was an early riser and could not enjoy sleeping it. She definitely won't be leaving her apartment before 10 o'clock. After all, they had the whole day and didn't have to be home by lunchtime.

He has been sitting on his couch since 8:30 PM, scrolling through pictures of the hiking route. He admits that the pictures only increase his excitement, rather than dampening it.

The tour is a circular route that starts at Mulholland Dam. It leads along Lake Hollywood for a considerable distance (about 1.2 miles) before the ascent begins. The climb is long but not too strenuous. At the end, they will reach the so-called Wisdom Tree, which, according to the route planner, is a magical place. Especially at sunset. Well, that won't be the case today, because they will arrive there well before that. Then it's another 0.3 miles or so uphill before they reach the highest point. The Cahuenga Peak. This location is situated west of the famous Hollywood sign and is said to offer a breathtaking view of Los Angeles, according to the reviews.

It's a smooth descent except for a short stretch on a rocky dirt track, which is still quite manageable, but still offers a good view. After about 5.5 miles from the start, the trail leads to Lake Hollywood Park which has plenty of picnic tables. Lucy had offered to take care of the food since they plan on eating there upon arrival. After that, it is just about a mile to the car park. The final part of the route goes downhill towards the lake and then curves back along it.

Tim looks through his backpack again and checks that he has packed everything. His job is to take care of hydration with water bottles and bowls for Kojo. The route also has the advantage that it passes several water refill stations. He has also packed a blanket in case they decide to make a spontaneous stop and want to sit down. Which is very likely with Kojo. Other than that, he makes sure to pack some snacks for the dog in his bag.

He is tired of waiting any longer, so he ends up leaving his house too early, which will result in arriving too early at her place. He is counting down the minutes to finally see Lucy again. That's how things are with him now.

When Tim has parked his car near the building complex where Lucy lives, he briefly considers whether to leave Kojo in the car or take him with him. He decides in favor of the latter, as Lucy is certainly not ready yet and Kojo would then have to wait forever in the car. Besides, Tamara is not at home, so he can turn up at Lucy's front door with Kojo without any problems.

After a short while, he reaches Lucy's house and knocks on the door. She responds with "The door is open." When he opens it, Kojo rushes in without giving him a chance to stop him. It seems like Kojo is in a hurry to get to Lucy, and he can't blame him for that. He closes the door behind him.

"Why don't you lock your door? Anyone could just march in. That's completely unacceptable."

Her voice comes from one of the rooms. He thinks from her bathroom.

"I only unlocked the door a few minutes ago because I thought you'd be early ..." With that, the bathroom door opens, and Lucy steps into her living room, putting an earring through her ear at the same time. "... and I would probably be in the bathroom or something, unable to let you in. “And ..." she looks up at him, smirking after she has successfully secured her earring. "... clearly I was right."

[maremartinelli]

ADULT MATTER

Edmund Pevensie X fem!reader

Summary: In which in a meeting with the Pevensie brothers, Y/n and Ed talk about a situation they went through together.

Words: 1.3K+

Warnings: Mention of pregnancy, condoms, adult subjects (???) is not obscenity, but there is a mention. And Caspian is among them, you can imagine him coming to their world after Ed's last visit to Narnia, or where Narnia never existed. Decide!! MODERN AU

Author: English is not my first language, I apologize for any spelling or typing errors. I hope you have fun and check out my list of imagines.

MASTERLIST

It was university holidays and all the Pevensies took advantage of the opportunity to go to Edmund and Y/n's small apartment. Which they shared and was located practically inside the campus where they studied.

While the conversation came and went, night had already fallen and dawn was present.

Lucy was lying on the sofa with her feet on her older brother - Peter's lap. Susan and Caspian were sitting on the smaller sofa while the brunette had his arm around the older Pevensie sister and Edmund was sitting on the armchair with Y/n sitting on his lap. Every now and then the boy would put his hands on his beloved's back and caress her.

Everyone had a mug of tea in their hands as they talked about a subject that Lucy insisted on not participating in.

"Peter is how old? 26? I'm sure the first time was when he was 25" Edmund makes fun of his older brother and makes the others laugh.

Peter just rolls his eyes, smiling and slowly pats his little sister's feet, who had her feet on his lap.

"Funny you guys" he says and the rest smile more. "Actually, it was 23..." Peter speaks more quietly and laughs.

"Almost the same thing" Caspian comments and they laugh.

Peter gets in on the act too, it wasn't a secret for any of them. As he had already said it himself a few years ago.

"And it was with my fiancee. I was waiting for the right person. So no problem!!!" he holds up his finger for explanation and they explode with cuteness. Peter just rolls his eyes and smiles shyly.

"Hazel really is a sweet person. We like her" Susan says and they nod their heads in agreement.

Edmund runs his hands over Y/n's back, making her look at the brunette. He smiles passionately and she responds with another smile.

He whispers something in his girlfriend's ear and she smiles in agreement.

With that, silence prevailed in the room where they were and each one took their mug to their mouth to take a sip of tea.

"Did I ever tell you about the day I thought I was pregnant?" Y/n drops the bomb in the air and smiles at them. As if it were a simple case.

Which at the time it wasn't. But it had really passed, why not make a joke out of the situation?!

That said, everyone in the room chokes on their hot tea and looks at Y/n, while Ed laughs at the situation and Lucy, who was almost asleep, gets up from the sofa and looks at her sister-in-law, leaning on her elbow.

"What???" Susan asks amusedly and doesn't hide a smile on her lips.

"I didn't even know that Ed did certain things" Peter shrugs and takes another sip of tea.

Edmund looks perplexed and throws the pillow. Clearly making a mistake and almost hitting the flower vase on Peter's side.

"Wait a minute" Caspian gets ready on the sofa and looks closely at the girl who was his sister-in-law too. "Explain this story better" he says and leans in again, bringing Susan closer to him.

"Please, because even Lucy woke up with this news." Peter gestures with his hands and points to his younger sister.

Y/n smiles and then sits on the arm of the chair to tell the best story. Thus leaving her feet on her boyfriend's thighs.

"The scare was about 6 months ago, more or less-"

"Damn, we would already know the sex of the baby by now" Caspian smiles happily and is pinched by his girlfriend.

"Shut up, Cas. Let her explain. I'm interested in that" Susan says and they laugh.

"Continuing. At the time I had a lot of discomfort, headache, anxiety, a lot of sleep, little energy, and my period was late. But that's normal, it was never regular. But then the other symptoms came and I started "

"MY GOD" Caspian interrupts Y/n again with a surprised face and attracts everyone's attention.

"What's . your . problem." Susan pushes him on the couch. "Let the girl finish"

"You're a bunch of gossips, that's for sure" Edmund says smiling and gets up to get more tea from the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Lucy was still leaning on her elbows and listening carefully to Y/n and Peter was leaning against the sofa listening to everything very well.

Everyone was very excited to hear that gossip. Even more so coming from your brother and his girlfriend of years.

"Coming back again...it was positive and of course I was nervous, you know. We know what we did, but it was still a shock. We're still in college and everything would be crazy. Then Ed arrived from his internship at night and I clarified everything and I said I would keep the baby if that was what the test said. But I was still hesitant, and the next morning Ed went with me to do a blood test and when the result came back it was negative. The girl said it was probably the one from the pharmacy was a false positive and the one from blood is practically 100% correct. But seriously, I almost died that weekend with the fake news" Y/n finishes explaining and Ed arrives with their mugs of tea.

The girl thanks her kindly and raises her feet so Edmund can sit back in the armchair.

"Fuck" Caspian sighs and quickly looks at the others in the room. "If it were me I would have passed out."

"Well, that's almost what happened to me" Edmund says smiling and shaking his shoulders.

"Wow..." The only thing that comes out of Lucy's mouth before she lies down on the sofa again and tries to absolve the story.

"Okay, but what about the other symptoms you were experiencing?" Peter asks curiously.

"It was a virus" Y/n says and they laugh.

"Yes, then the other week I was pregnant, I mean, with the virus too" Edmund says and they laugh.

Everyone drinks some more of their tea and Peter turns to talk to his younger sister.

"You see how important it is to use condoms, Lucy. That way you won't risk going through what Y/n went through"

Lucy grimaces and sinks onto the couch.

"It would be better to use a condom and take morning-after pills. That's what we're doing from that day onwards" Y/n shrugs and slides into the armchair, to sit again on Edmund's thighs.

"No!!" Susan looks at her sister-in-law. "It's even better-"

"Diu" the two say together and Y/n snaps her finger at Susan.

"That's it, do all that" Y/n agrees and looks at Lucy.

"Thank you so much guys, I'll write this down for when I'm MARRIED!!" She stands up and emphasizes married.

"I doubt you'll wait until you're married." Edmund whispers while drinking tea from his mug.

"Ed!!" Peter says and holds back his laugh.

"It's true, look at me. I'm dating Y/n for what?? We're 22... WE'VE BEEN DATING FOR 8 YEARS, WE CAN'T WAIT!!" He does the math on his fingers and then speaks.

"Very good Ed, but I don't think they needed to know your opinion" Y/n pats her boyfriend's shoulder twice before taking another sip. "Wait a second!!" She says and everyone looks at her, but Y/n only looked at Edmund. "If you couldn't wait until the wedding, what are you doing that you don't ask me for one?" Y/n says and his eyes widen.

"I'm going to stay quiet now" Caspian grumbles and Susan glares at him.

"I'm on my own, I've already asked my girlfriend to marry me and we're going to get married in 3 months" Peter leans on the sofa and looks at his brother and his girlfriend.

"Do you want me to order?" Ed jokes.

"What do you think!!" Y/n exclaims.

Edmund kisses the woman's cheek.

"It's okay, one day I'll catch you by surprise anyway"

Of course, Edmund thought about marrying Y/n. Look at everything they went through during all these 8 years here and another 15 in Narnia. If he didn't do this, the boy's brothers would throw him out of the house.

And Ed already had this idea before she even brought it up. And 2 weeks later, the brothers Pevensie and Caspian helped Edmund organize their marriage proposal. It was everything Y/n always dreamed of.

Author: I find it incredible that all the ideas for these stories come to me in the early hours of the morning, when I should be sleeping.

[we-pay-for-everything]

Finished rewatching Nancy Drew season 1!

Nancy's a bit harsh with Ryan in the beginning when she learns he's her dad. Firstly, she's Nancy so she doesn't like people trying to get close to her and Ryan isn't giving her any space at all. Secondly, she's ashamed of being related to him. She has no problem being Lucy's daughter, because she's the sad girl who was bullied to her death, but Ryan? Yikes, obviously. Ryan's obviously delusional thinking a daughter would've saved his life and made him a better person, or someone who can stand up to his daddy. He wouldn't have been happy to learn Lucy's was pregnant and who knows what he would've done? Run away? To his credit, Nancy is the reason he becomes a better person later. But he also doesn't know being a father means you shouldn't be petty with your daughter, which he is after he saves her from Everett at his cabin (he's like "oh you can't be my daughter...unless you need my help").

George is a mixed bag for me. She irritates me very often but I also have a lot of affection for her. Her confrontation with Ryan wasn't great though. The writing just didn't feel natural. I think she literally quotes Kelly Clarkson's "Because of You" lyrics at one point or two. She told Nick that Ryan taught her she was the girl you hid not the one you took to dinner? Is this the 50s. I get the idea of George realizing she was taken advantage of and confronting her abuser but the dialogue was not great (and a bit ironic given Nancy's affairs with older detectives...). I get George's reservations with Nick. I'm scared of intimacy as well. But I feel a bit for Nick. I think him and George made a good team, but Nick kind of needs someone more in tune with their emotions? He wants the kind of closeness that he didn't feel he had with either Nancy or George. I don't love his new partner though. So far we know nothing of interest about them - according to Bess, they're "exquisite" and have this awkward/cool vibe going for them, and look like someone who is famous on IG, which is not a vibe I care about, but nothing substancial yet.

Ace and Nancy get a lot of scenes together, alone (eg. when they visit Owen's apartment or Lucy's mom). Because George and Nick end up pairing up, Ace and Nancy naturally spend more time together, I think. And I think she likes that he rarely tries to stop her from doing anything, and he doesn't ask a lot of questions or tries to get close to her. He just helps her while giving her a lot of space, which is how Nancy naturally begins to rely on him and open up to him. For example, he tells her that life's been kicking her butt lately and that he's there if she needs help, but he doesn't ask if she's okay or if she wants to talk about it - which is why she's so grateful for his words. Compared to Nick, she's more comfortable that way. Owen also tried to help her too much sometimes, but he was more detached than Nick. I think Ace is kinda perfect for Nancy because he's useful to her. She gets very into her cases and the only way not to lose touch with her is to tag along and help her. If you hold her back, she'll push you away. But Ace is super helpful because he's a computer genius and he's used to her work methods. I think George, and to a lesser extent Bess, are like Ace in that way. I noticed Nancy's gotten pretty close to George.

Ace is unusually angry with her about their Aglaeca curse. They agreed to do the ritual with Nancy. She tried to talk them out of it. Their anger is natural but she's not to blame. If she was reckless, so were they.

Did Nancy really care that much about Owen and/or was his death particularly traumatizing because everything was going wrong that week and he died because of her?

Also, I feel for Bess. She wants so much to be a Marvin and her aunt is an intimidating and dangerous woman that she knows she can't cross, so she ends up putting her relationship with Lisbeth on the line while also losing herself in the process. At the same time, I want to tell her to grow a backbone and not pander to a bunch of assholes.

[ashknife]

This is going to be a little spoilery.

Lucy is gone. Several men who fought for her life have failed. Part of this is a lack of information. Van Helsing knew, but as we will find out later, only in part. He had tools to defend Lucy, but he only had that. He could defend and contain, but he couldn't fight back. He could only buy time, and that eventually ran out.

Part of this was circumstances. There is a core group here who, working together, could have done something, but circumstances kept getting in the way. Mina left to tend to Jonathan. Arthur needed to tend to his father who has now (or will be shortly, I only skimmed the last couple of days) perished. Ms. Westenra was an element of chaos, and she, too, has died. Van Helsing and Dr. Seward had their own duties to attend to, and Quincy Morris arrived late to the scene.

Had there been more people around, and had mutual trust been established, information could have been shared, a plan of action hatched, and Lucy saved. Instead, information was scarce and the group stretched thin taking care of their own lives. Who can we really blame here, though? Dr. Seward sacrificed much of his time and energy to attend to Lucy while also running his asylum. Arthur's father was dying. Jonathan suffered from his trauma. Mina took time to care for Jonathan. The newlywed Harkers suddenly needed to attend to the death of their employer, friend, and what appears to be a father figure. Quincey Morris had a reason to be around (Lucy is in danger!) but didn't know until Arthur sent him a message. All these people had good reasons for what they did. Van Helsing, then, we could point the finger at, but, again (as we will find out later), his information was incomplete. He was working on knowledge that seemed to work but wasn't proven. Additionally, he was working primarily with his student, and he probably understood that Jack wasn't going to take any of that information easily, if at all. Van Helsing was caught between a rock and a hard place without an immediate good solution, and unfortunately, he made poor decisions.

Meanwhile, the Lord of the Night is out there, somewhere, taking advantage of other people's failings to sate his hunger. We can bicker about who among our protagonists is responsible for Lucy's death, but one big finger should still be pointed at Dracula, because none of this would have occurred if not for his attacks.

[heavensbeehall]

"The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes," Chapter 12

Part 2: The Prize

Chapter 12: Uh-oh! Emily was reading so much fanfic she forgot where she was in the actual book. Coriolanus is jealous of everyone who dares get near Lucy Gray. He hates Sejanus and Ma Plinth. Tigris comes and he's like, "What do you think that song was about? Is she really a whore?" They go home. Grandma'am is also awful. He writes about the fun of war. The next morning, Clemensia is still missing. He gives Lucy Gray his mother's compact and tells her to put rat poison in it.

Quotes:

His girl. His. Here in the Capitol, it was a given that Lucy Gray belonged to him, as if she’d had no life before her name was called out at the reaping. Even that sanctimonious Sejanus believed she was something he could trade for. If that wasn’t ownership, what was?

Oh gross. Now I remember why I didn't want to keep reading.

“One hearing’s all my cousin Maude Ivory needs. That child never forgets anything with a tune,” said Lucy Gray.

If Maude Ivory was Katniss's grandma, do we think her dad had a Covey name? With a color?

Just like those Peacekeepers back in 12. Coriolanus couldn’t help wondering just how friendly she could be.

Coriolanus thinks she's fucking the Peacekeepers in the Capitol and 12.

Sejanus appeared, in another brand-new suit, with a rumpled little woman in an expensive flowered dress on his arm. It didn’t matter. You could put a turnip in a ball gown and it would still beg to be mashed.

Now I am just quoting all the awful stuff he thinks. But also I have never had mashed turnips? Why not say potato?

Tigris’s rebuke shocked him, but less than her alluding to behavior that might be considered a disgrace. What had she done? Because if she’d done it, she’d done it to protect him. He thought about the morning of the reaping, when he’d casually wondered what she had to trade in the black market, but he’d never really taken that seriously. Or hadn’t he? Would he have just preferred not to know what sacrifices she might be willing to make for him? Her comment was vague enough, and so many things were beneath a Snow, that he could say, as she had of Lucy Gray’s song, “Well, that could be anything.” Did he want to know the details? No. The truth was he did not.

So here's the thing about this: I think he doesn't want to know because then he would feel indebted to her, and he can't stand that. But... he is indebted to her. I know family is family and it's not the same as if some random stranger did it, but she gave up going to university so she could work to support him. I don't think he needs to pay her back or anything but he should be more... not grateful necessarily but just aware of what it took to get him here. He may think he just "deserves" all this (and that's a whole other issue) but it wasn't just given to him. She had to sacrifice.

That our ancestral home has gotten too large?

It's a dumb apartment, you weirdo. That is hooie! He bought this place in the 80s! /ben blanc

“The trouble with girls is, they’re not used to fighting the same way boys are,” said Hilarius. The Heavensbees were ultrarich, the way the Snows had been before the war. But no matter his advantages, Hilarius always seemed to feel oppressed.

I wonder if this sense of oppression made its way to Plutarch somehow and made him want to fight.

“The thing is,” Lysistrata whispered to Coriolanus, “I’ve become rather attached to Jessup.” She paused a moment, arranging the wrapping on a chunk of baked noodles and cheese. “He did save my life.” Coriolanus wondered what Lysistrata, who had been closer to him than anyone else in the arena, had seen when the bombs went off. Had she seen Lucy Gray save him? Was she hinting at that?

Okay here's the part where I begin to piss off the Snowbaird shippers. I think Lysistrata has more genuine feeling for Jessup than Snow does for Lucy Gray. I don't think it's romantic, but I do think it's more the appropriate reaction given the circumstances. Snow is all about ownership. I wish Lysistrata did see Lucy Gray save Snow and told everyone so he couldn't pretend it didn't happen.