#'what has riverdale become'

[mauros-hlios]

my 'currently watching' list is someone's nightmare blunt rotation i just know it

[garbagequeer]

the thing about beautiful riverdale is that there are a couple of people in my life who seem to have learned the trick to see me turn into the happiest person on earth with the biggest smile under any circumstances which is asking me about riverdale

[bigscarymads]

say what you will about this show and her as a character, Cheryl Blossom keeps a framed oil painting of her fursona in her sitting room and that's very iconic of her.

[fbfh]

Sweet Pea x soft!reader hcs

wc: 1.3k

genre: mutual pining, tooth rotting fluff

pairing: sweet pea x soft reader

warnings: reader is implied to be smaller than sweet pea but he's like 6'3 and beefy so it's not too out of the question, reader is called clingy needs attention and hates being alone by jughead but sweet pea LOVES that about you, size difference, protective sweet pea, sweet pea is a rottweiler boyfriend, kisses and cuddles, mentions of fighting and gang activity

song recs: fight for me - heathers obc, big boy - sza

a/n: been watching the anime my love story and it's feuling my sweet pea obsession lol. I've also decided that while horribly bad, riverdale is camp. If I convince myself it's camp I can drag myself through it. It's supposed to be bad and make no sense and of course there's a "goblin king" running around town causing problems because it's camp.

tags: @yesv01 @magcon7280

Okay so like I said in my initial drabble

When Sweet Pea first sees you he deadass thinks you’re an angel

You are so sweet and soft and perfect

The only way to describe you is angelic

He’s so wrapped up in how alluring and enamoring you are that he doesn’t notice you’re just as drawn to him

You immediately see past his gorgeous and intimidating exterior to the soft great big heart inside him

You see all his good traits and you’re not scared off that he’s a little rough around the edges

But Sweet Pea sees that you’re not rough around the edges

And he doesn’t want you to become that way

Especially not because of him

He feels so protective over you from day one

Even though he’s fighting his obvious feelings for you and ignoring your obvious feelings for him, he still tries to look out for you

Keeps an eye on you a little, just to make sure no one’s giving you any trouble

You’re friends with Betty so you’re sort of tied to the serpents already, but he doesn’t want to drag you any deeper into gang life than you already are

So he tries not to fall any harder for you than he already has

Even though Jughead is always bringing you up, telling him that Betty says you’ve been asking after him

He can’t even process that Jughead just said you’ve been asking after him and about him a lot because of how Jughead keeps describing you

He says you’re sort of clingy and need a lot of attention, that you get nervous in crowds and you’re really touchy and hate being alone 

That’s why your last boyfriend broke up with you

But the more Jughead talks about you and your apparent flaws, the more perfect you sound to Sweet Pea

You’re exactly what he’s been dreaming of

Someone he can go all in with, someone who wants him and needs him as much as he wants you and needs you

Which is obviously a lot

And now it’s getting harder and harder to listen to that logical voice that tells him he’s no good for you, that you deserve someone from northside who can take good care of you and not drag you into any more chaos than you’re already surrounded by 

But you’ve been writing his name in your diary over and over for weeks now, and it’s really just a matter of time before you end up together 

All your friends know this

Betty and Jughead and Toni know this

Even Fangs knows this

Everyone knows but you and Sweet Pea

You both still think it’s an unreciprocated pipe dream

Something to imagine scenarios about before you fall asleep

You’re more alike than you realize 

But soon you find your way to each other

You just can’t stay away anymore

And once you’re together, once you’re finally in his arms, neither of you ever want to let go

Sweet Pea is an amazing boyfriend to begin with

But especially when it comes to someone as soft and sweet and precious as you?????

He’s literally the best person you could ever hope for

He’s a classic rottweiler boyfriend 

AND he’s a gang boyfriend

Plus Sweet Pea’s just naturally a very protective person to the people he loves

So you can guarantee you’ll be safe with him

He won’t hesitate to stare down anyone he thinks looks at you too long

But he’s not going to start shit with you around unless he has to

If he does need to fight someone, he’s going to make sure you’re not there to see it

Even if he has to ask Betty or Veronica or Fangs to drag you into the other room and stay with you until it’s over

He doesn’t want you to see him like that

But he knows how to hold his own, and Fangs and Toni both reassure you there’s not a fight he hasn’t been able to walk away from

You’re always there to patch him up afterwards too

You touch him so gently

With more love and care and tenderness than he’s ever gotten from anyone before

It makes it kind of impossible to regret sticking up for you

Even if he did walk away with some nasty scratches and a black eye

You’re still not scared of him

You don’t judge him

Like at all

He always makes you feel so safe around him 

All he’s wanted for a while is someone to go all in with

Someone to protect, someone to take care of

Someone who needs him

And you do 

You spend more and more nights together before finally confessing that you can’t really sleep without him anymore

When I tell you his heart explodes when you say that?????

God as if you couldn’t get him wrapped even tighter around your finger

Surprise! Yes you can

He dips you a lot too

Mostly because he’s so tall and it’s so easy and it makes you so nervous when he pulls you close and leans over you like that

It makes you all dizzy and he talks so close to your face for a few moments before finally kissing you

GOD it makes your head spin

You can’t get enough

And he can’t get enough of the way you look up at him all soft and sweet

Like you’re not scared of him

Which you’re not

It’s still kind of new for him

But it’s something he really hopes he can get used to

He’s touchy too

He pulls you into his lap and rests his head on your shoulder a lot

Or wraps his arms around yours

Don’t even get me started on holding his big old hands with both of yours

It makes his stomach flip every single time

And SO MANY FOREHEAD KISSES

You kiss his neck and jaw a lot too

Mostly because it’s all you can reach half the time

And because you know it drives him completely crazy

If you ever worried about getting unwanted attention from guys, you don’t have to anymore

EVERYBODY knows you’re Sweet Pea’s 

And EVERYBODY knows not to fuck with him

Sweet Pea can be fucking terrifying when he wants to

Which makes things like him pinning you to the couch and tickling you until you tap out and you’re both blushing giggly wrecks even cuter  

You completely and totally have scary boyfriend privileges 

And you take such good care of him too

He really doesn’t think he’s ever been this happy and content and at peace

His friends can easily attest to the fact that they’ve never seen him this happy either

And your friends have never seen you this happy too 

Over all, you’re really just a fantastic match

You become the emotional support couple of riverdale high so fast

People get used to seeing him walk you to classes he doesn’t even have 

Seeing you ride around town on the back of his motorcycle together 

Because you belong together

You really do

Sweet Pea might not know what the future is going to look like

He might not know what’s going to happen tomorrow

But the only thing he does know about his future is that you’re going to be in it

And he’s going to be in yours

You’re starting to make him dream about a soft domestic life away from gangs and murder and conspiracies

He doesn’t know if that’s practical or attainable, but he hopes it is

Until then, he’s more than happy just getting to be around you

Getting to see you all the time and wake up next to each other on the weekends

He loves loving you, he loves keeping you safe and happy

Just like you love him and keep him happier than he’s ever been

Just being with you is more than enough

[yourjughead]

Attack Dog

Sweet Pea X Reader enemies to lovers

Synopsis: You return to Riverdale to find your best friend Jughead has joined a gang he said he never would. A certain member of said gang takes an interest in you in return

A/N: This was a draft from years ago. It's set when the Serpents join Riverdale high (a throwback) but also somehow their senior year....

This is very long, apologies.

Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You piled your books into your locker, the Monday dew still cascading the halls. Groggily going about your business but happy to be finally back in Riverdale High. You had moved back on Friday night with your family and had already seen most of your friends that same night. After moving around so much with both your parents in the army it was nice to finally replant your roots.

“Ah yn, how I have missed you standing there" Archie threw himself against the locker smiling.

“I missed you too Archiedoodles, do you think we can go see Jughead today?” Archie had decided to keep you away from Jughead for as long as possible, he didn't quite think you'd want to see who had become. 

“Emm I don't know, he's kinda busy lately” 

“Too busy for me...did you hear that?” It was like a scene from a film. The banging of the hallway doors and entered the Serpents, their new school. You and Archie looked to see the swarm before Archie could see who was leading them.

“Oh hey YN look at this locker door” he turned you against the lockers by the shoulders.

“Archie what the hell” you laughed pushing against him to turn and see Jughead striding past you 

“Juggy!” 

“Yn!?” You ran over to him, interrupting his new hard core image, giving him a giant hug. 

“What the hell are you doing back?” he smiled greatly shock still colouring him.

“Mom's done with the Army so she moved us back, dad still has a few more years but that's okay, I'm back! What are you doing here Arch said you moved schools?”

“School moved us”

“Us?” It was then you noticed the sward behind him and the leather jackets they wore. You took a step back, all of them eyeing you.

“Oh….umm” Archie joined your side, the group glaring at him harshly. 

“I thought you said you'd never jo-”

“-uh yn this isn't the place for this conversation” Jughead interrupted you.

“Well then make it the place Jughead” a chorus of oohs from behind him followed.

“Come on yn let's go, you must meet Veronica” Archie wrapped an arm around you breaking the stare off you and Jughead were having.

~

The day flowed on and you avoided Jughead as much as possible, until the final bell rang and he cornered you outside your car.

“Yn we need to talk”

“I'd love to talk to Jughead, let me know when you see him will you?” you opened the car door but he closed it again, almost catching your fingers in it. You sighed loudly at his action.

“Yn it is still same the Jughead-”

“Really?! I remember a Jughead who hated the Serpents and what they did to his dad and how they're basically the reason his family is in two! I remember a Jughead who promised he'd never get caught up in that world! Because you sir, are not him!” you jabbed your finger into his chest.

“Hey Jones you coming?” A tall serpent called from across the carpark.

“Just a second! Yn this shouldn't be a big deal, so I have a family now, it doesn't matter!”

“You have a family now?! What am I then?! And Archie and Betty?! We were your family, your friends….” you looked down at the ground and he looked desperately at you, the tall Serpent called him from the background again before beginning to stride over. 

“YN, I don't want to have this conversation in front of the Serpents, I have to keep a strong front for them” you rolled your eyes at him as Sweet Pea reached his side. You couldn't help but glare at him and he gave a small laugh. 

“Jones, who's the attack dog?”

“Listen here Snake Brain-” 

“YN, leave it!” Jughead cut across you earning another laugh from Sweet Pea, you began to seethe at your old best friends defence of his new family member. 

“Just call me when you feel like being yourself again” you breathed out the words until your lungs nearly emptied, moving to open the car again to be stopped by Sweet Peas voice 

“i think the snake skin is him Princess-”

“Don't you have some drugs to deal to children or something -” you cut across him this time.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Sweet Pea raised an eyebrow, smile now long gone. Jughead looked between the two of you

“I meant what I said, or is the leather jacket cutting off the blood flow to your ears”

“Listen I don't know you Princess but you're not exactly making a good impression-”

“I don't give a fuck what you think about me, you seem to care a lot about what I think about you though” more Serpents seemed to join around, panic began to rise in Jughead, his attempted to stop Sweet Pea but Sweet Peas voice came harsher.

“You're seriously misguided Princess” 

“And you're seriously what's wrong with Riverdale” you said through gritted teeth, receiving scoffs from the gathering Serpents but Sweet Pea stated unreadable eyes fixed on you. 

“Guys just relax, YN I'll call you later” Jughead reached for your arm but you moved took a step back.

“Don't bother”

~ 

For the remainder of the week you avoided Jughead and the rest of them, instead spending time with your friends you missed so much. Catching up with all the chaos that had gone down since you left 3 years ago, and there was a lot. It was nice to feel like a senior around your friends, how it should be. You were shocked that for the most part everyone was understanding of Jughead joining the Serpents, you couldn't really understand it. Jughead continued to try to text or call you until you had enough. You needed a break from it, leaving your phone turned off on your dresser before putting on your runners. 

You tried to process how you felt as you jogged through Riverdale, trying to remember your old route. You were zoned out of the world as your legs took you from a jog to run, the burn growing from your thighs down to your shins. You had been out for an hour or so now and by the third wrong turn you landed out of your subconsciousness and back to the world in front of you. Lost. How could you forget the town you grew up in. Suddenly you became very aware of the dark night that had closed around you. You looked around for anywhere still open, only a gruby bar was in your sights. They probably had a phone you thought, walking right past the fading sign of the Whyte Wyrm. 

Upon approach you noticed the large amount of motorbikes outside the door.  Then the amount of Serpents jackets and their owners flowing in and out of the bar. Shit you thought. You turned to leave back through the carpark you just walked through and instead crashed directly into an older Serpent and his pint of larger, sending it all over him. 

“What the fuck?!” He half yelped at the cold hitting his chest. You stuttered apologies as you moved to walk past him. Instead he caught your wrist with bone crushing force. Without realising what you were doing, you sent the heel of your hand straight up and into his nose, contorting it completely. He shouted before releasing you and you moved from his shadow, other Serpents witnessing the incident and gathering quickly. You begged your tired legs to bring you running back to the main road as some began to follow you shouting. 

Sweet Pea walked around the wall of the car park boarder and was immediately confused by the several Serpents beginning to run towards his direction. You didn't even take notice of him as you ran past, your leg then spasming, sending you my into the pavement. He didn't know where to look. You pulled yourself cursing behind the pillar of the entrance, resting your head again the cement of its support, preparing to get mangled by Serpents. 

“Sweet Pea!” An older woman shouted his name bringing his attention from you and your attention to him. 

“Ehh yes Penny?” 

“Did you see a girl, Y/C/H, this tall or so” the woman made a guestimate of your height with her hand. You held your breath as Sweet Pea fought every instinct to not look down at you. 

“Emm I did see someonel go over the hedges towards the back there, maybe thats her?” 

“Great, she just broke one of the Seniors noses, girls dead meat” shock painted Sweet Peas face and he tried not to laugh at the thought. The woman then gave a wave before running off with the others in the direction he sent them. He exhaled loudly, looking at where you once were sat, now empty. Sweet Pea looked quickly to find your shadow hobbling down the road you think you came down. He gave a small laugh, rolled his eyes and began to jog to catch up with you. 

Part 2

[mean-vampyre]

In the Riverdale Pride episode, a prominent gay leader of the community appears to have been murdered by strangulation with a flag the day before the parade.

Archie: Guys, Riverdale will never be safe until we find the homophobic killer who is trying to sabotage the parade with hate crimes.

Veronica: Archiekins, I agree that we cannot let Riverdale's first and best pride parade be ruined - God knows this town needs a little rainbow -, but we cannot assume that the killer is homophobic. He or she could be queer.

Betty: Yeah, Arch, Veronica is right. Girls, gays, and thems can be killers too. We cannot assume this is a hate crime. There have been plenty of gay killers in this town. It could be one of them.

Jughead: Classic serial killer narrative. The white picket fenced American dream is threatened by the gay man, so he turns into a killer to overcome his own phobias and conform to the ideal of toxic masculinity.

Veronica: Umm, Jughead, check your misogyny. This crime could have been committed by a lesbian.

Cheryl: I disagree. A lesbian would never make such a slanderous act of ill taste. It is far too overt to slay him with his own flag.

Toni: For all we know, the killer could be someone who wants to send a message. My bet is on Hiram. He is angry the LGBTQ+ association of Riverdale didn't let him sponsor the parade because palladium mines are funding his juvenile prison complex that incarcerates a lot of the serpent queer kids.

Veronica: My daddykins has done a lot of bad things, but he has yet to become a bigot. He is an ally and supports trans kids. In fact, he has been trying to get into the pharmaceutical business to develop his own line of hrt that would be far cheaper than what the current big pharma ghouls are selling.

Archie: Okay, fine. Let's assume the killer is a nonbinary biromantic asexual masc-presenting person. But why would they kill someone the day before the parade?

Tabitha: Wait, maybe this crime is related to a drug deal gone bad. Haven't there been a few of those in Riverdale in the past years?

Archie: Like Jason Blossom?

Betty: Yeah, exactly. This could be related to Jason.

Reggie: So you're saying they killed Jason because he was gay?

Betty: Reggie, aren't you listening? The fact that Jason Blossom was gay has nothing to do with the fact that he was killed. The killer had other motives.

Jughead: But the killer could be trying to recreate that murder. See, I don't think the question is who did it or why, but how much of the darkness of Riverdale is hiding in plain sight, waiting to corrupt all the good things that people are trying to make happen.

Gay Kevin: I'm gay.

[no1heyyyyyyyy]

Sevika's tastes

Sevika is an old lady and she just wants to be left alone. She likes to look good but when it comes to clothes, Miss thing just doesn’t care that much. She always has practicality in mind. So, no dresses, nothing flowy, has to have natural fabrics so that her skin can breathe, and she requires that things are comfortable. Her shoes are always made for hardware with a strong sole and often reinforced. In the modern world, I see her working in metal working (specifically welding), so she has to have clothes that are multipurpose. Though, if she was forced to wear anything really nice, it would be a simple well-cut blazer and a button down with jeans or slacks that conform to her legs nicely. She prefers earthy colors, nothing too flashy. I think she’d really appreciate a nice dark green, or perhaps brown. I also feel that she would enjoy a nice flannel regularly.

With food, I’m afraid her palette is as unrefined as her clothing choices. She genuinely does not care what she eats, though she really likes chicken- loves hot wings, spicy food is her love. But, her comfort food will always be the food native to what part of India her family is from. I don’t think she’s the best cook, but she has a few family recipes that she knows so well (aloo gobi, chai, samosa, tikka masala, saag paneer). And, I think that on nights where she’s feeling really sad or lonely she always craves those foods. She’d love to cook with or for her partner, it’d be the best way to get to know her honestly. Because it allows for her to show vulnerability through actions and without words. She loves to take care of people and I think in modern times she’d mother her friends just a bit, always making sure they’re eating well, drinking their water, and sleeping right (if not she’ll give them some chai). She doesn’t eat beef or dark meats in general, and she isn’t the biggest fan of seafood or turkey. So, she sticks with her chicken and her paneer. She’ll eat tofu but it needs to be in curry or something similar.

This woman would love 80s hair metal, music is something that I genuinely believe she’d love so much. She’d play drums as a teenager, dead set on becoming the drummer of the next Metallica. She’d also love the old school heavy metal bands, Iron Maiden, Metallica, Black Sabbath, Pantera. She’d love them all. I think she’d like some old school 90s rap too, but none of the new-age mumble rap that’s going on. She wouldn’t really like Taylor Swift’s music, just because it didn’t vibe with her, but she respected Taylor’s ability to get a bag. She has had a huge crush on Adele ever since she heard the album 25 when it came out. She liked some of her music, but thought Adele was drop dead gorgeous and all mature and soulful and shit, hit her in the feels and made her whipped for this woman she didn’t even know.

For movies she loves shitty 80s slasher horror, nothing that makes her think. She’d sit back in her old recliner in her pajamas and house slippers whilst watching Slumber Party Massacre for the third time, and then put on Golden Girls because she feels that Dorothy Zbornak is her spirit animal. She likes a good sitcom too and a ridiculous drama (she loves Desperate Housewives), she likes the camp, the over the top acting and dumb plots, it makes her laugh and feel care free in a way she hasn’t been in a long time. She just wants to curl up with her pets (she would have many) and watch teen-based tv shows that revolve around crime or secrets (Pretty Little Liars, Riverdale, Vampire Diaries, even Buffy etc.). She likes how bad they are, but she gets so invested it’s ridiculous.

For personal scents she’d like more woody, alluring scents that are also kind of sweet. Think Amber by Rag n’ Bone (it smells so good), she doesn’t spray much, just a spritz, it wafts around her just slightly, just enough for women to fall at her feet. Her individual smell wouldn't be overpowering but it would definitely be clear. It’s grounding and soothing. Her sweat stinks though, every time she comes back from the gym, she goes straight to the showers because her own dogs don’t want to come near her b.o.

In general, Sevika is an old woman who couldn’t give less of a shit. She wants to be left alone with her life and her people and chill. Which is why, I feel like she isn’t that opinionated on much unless it’s boundaries or causes she cares about. She just doesn’t have the energy to be bothered with trivial things like which movie to choose for the night, or which restaurant to go to. She is tired and all she wants to do is eat good food with her partner and her pets in a little cottage in the middle of nowhere. She doesn’t like neighbors and she doesn’t like people in her business. She doesn’t need a perfect life, just one that’s hers.

for whatever reason the letters are being weird, it is killing me. Please ignore it.

[themultifandomgal]

Sweet Pea- We Won't Work

I sit down next to Fangs, Opposite Toni and Sweet Pea with my food tray in my hands. Since the Serpents moved to Riverdale High they have quickly become my best friends. During this time Sweet Pea has been trying to get me on a date. Not gonna happen. He’s a player and every girl with some sense will stay away from him. I’ve told him many times that we will never happen, but he’s just so determined to make me one of his quests

“Hey good looking” Sweet Pea smirks as I roll my eyes “so YN did you think about what I asked you?”

“Yes. And just like yesterday and the day before that and the day before that. No” Toni giggles at my response

“Come on man you’ve been at this for months. She’s not gonna go on a date with you” Fangs pats Pea on the shoulder

“Fangs is right. You better give up. There’s plenty of other girls who would love to go on a date with you. Josie is one”

“Josie is Peas secret hook up” I comment

“Not so secret since they were all over each other a few weeks ago and Cheryl’s party” Toni takes some fries off Fangs’ tray

“Me and Josie are over. We wanted different things. And anyway you never gave me a reason why you won’t go on a date with me” Sweet Pea folds his arms and I give him a shrug and eat my lunch

“I’ve dated your kind before and it wasn’t pretty”

“What do you mean by my kind?” He asks crossing his arms. I ignore him as Jug and Betty join us

“Hey guys” Betty smiles. I smile back at her as she sits

“What you guys talking about?” Jug asks sitting opposite Betty

“Just the usual. Sweet Pea trying to get a date with YN”

“Still?” Jughead chuckles shaking his head “dude when are you going to give that one up?” I can see Sweet Pea is starting to get annoyed with all the teasing. He gets up from his seat and walking out of the cafeteria.

After lunch Pea and I have history together, unfortunately for me we sit next to one another. Even worse Mr Roman decide to pared us up together for our history project on President George Washington which is why we are now sat on my bed looking in books and typing on my laptop

“You know we would be a good team. We work well together” Pea says. I sigh knowing he’s not going to give up. He’s persistent, I’ll give him that “so why won’t you go on a date with me?”

“Because we wouldn't work” I say not looking away from the laptop

“Why?”

“Because I'll break your heart?”

“Maybe I'll break yours” I then look at Pea smirking and shake my head

“No you won't. Nobody breaks my heart”

“Ah so you one of these girls who have built up a shield”

“Give it up Sweet Pea. I’ll be your friend, but we’re not dating” I groan as Pea pushes down the lid of the laptop “seriously”

“You said earlier you dated guys like me before. Enlighten me, what do you mean?”

“Players. Guys who jump from one girl to the next. Guys that just want one thing”

“They hurt you. That’s why you said it wasn’t pretty”

“I didn’t actually say who it wasn’t pretty for. Now will you stop asking me 20 questions at get on with our work?” I lift up the lid and we both sit in silence for a couple of minutes getting on with our work when Pea suddenly says

“You know, those rumours about me aren’t exactly true” I look up at Pea who looks remorseful “well not exactly. Yeah I’ll be honest I’ve slept with a few girls, not as many as you think, and it’s because I would find a girl I liked. We’d have sex and she’d run off to tell her friends. I was dumb enough to let it happen a few times. Then girls just stared to make shit up”

“I’m sorry Sweet Pea this shouldn’t have happened” I look at pea with a frown

“It’s ok. Well no it’s not, but I’m ok. The reason I’ve been asking you on a date is because you say no. I mean yes of course I want to go on a date with you, but you don’t throw yourself at me. I’m chasing you and it makes a change” something in me changes and I actually feel for Pea now. Maybe I should give him a chance. See what a date would be like with him

“Fine. I have a shift at Pops tomorrow till 7. Pick me up from there”

“What to finish our project” I chuckle at Sweet Pea

“No you idiot to take me on a date”

“Wait really?”

“Yeah. But I can promise you no sex and probably no kiss either”

“Deal” Peas face lights up. I’ve never seen him smile like this before. And that was all down to me agreeing to a date.

[retroactivebakeries]

so when assigning miraculous arcs and nobilis splats to riverdale characters, you kinda have to start with late-season arrival tabitha, who’s the guardian angel of riverdale and does all sorts of time stuff, with your time loops, transplanting people into different parts of history, and merging timelines.

that’s…reality syndrome, that’s super easy to do as reality syndrome. she really can’t be a fallen angel, since she’s doing all this to oppose what’s basically one of lucifer’s nobles. deceiver feels like an ideological mismatch. serpents…

she does not turn into a giant snake. so she probably has to be an angel.

an angel could probably manage that with a time magic skill and really high Adept, which works—the shows kinda refers to her “chronokinesis” as separate from her baseline angelic nature, since this is the season where everyone is picking up superpowers. Lore is maybe the trait best suited to it, but she doesn’t have anything arcana-like to use. Holy seems like it should be able to do that, but I can’t think of a way how. still, angel probably works, if awkwardly.

from there, the rest falls into place pretty easily.

archie is the most “on a knight arc” guy you have ever seen, and really the only one that fits him is become somebody. archie being an actual makes so much sense that there is no need for me to explain.

jughead, yadda yadda, some troubled, some sentimental, so a strategist. costumery lets him always have his iconic beanie. telepathy can probably be covered through stunts, and the portal thing is pretty easily covered by strategy. “running a high-stakes d&d game that mirrors archie’s escape from prison via circumstantial simultaneity and seems to actually cause the plan to succeed”…actually makes a lot more sense if you can say it was a strategy miracle, really.

betty is the most “on a bindings arc about serial killers” girl you have ever seen. wounded angel is probably the best fit; serial killer genes and dark betty are both good empowered wounds, and the serial killer aura vision was already tied to photosensitive migraines. fallen angel works for her, and mimic definitely doesn’t.

veronica seems like she’d be a good impresario or keeper of gardens, although I’m not sure if she’s ever on a shepherd arc onscreen. she does basically always have a home base, and also becomes toxic to life, so I’m just gonna force keeper of gardens. I’m not sure if the lord of rule is a great fit for her, but it’s not awful, and it lets me avoid doubling up on angels.

cheryl is almost textually on a creature of fable arc—she’s a master archer, she raises the dead, and she could not be more on a storyteller arc. I don’t think there’s really a good test that you could give to warmain-cheryl, so she’s a lord of the game.

this is known to the wise.

[auckie]

Neil gaiman is such a fucking hack. All he does is ride off Terry pratchets coattails, gets. I really hate the word cuck but idk how else to describe the Amanda Palmer situation. Cucked by women and regurgitates that into flat one dimensional characters. Queer baits and panders to trashy online YA level drivel types. He’s the definition of the word fandom. If men like his garbage they’re always the kind of guy who has a beard and lets you know he has a beard. He probably owns a kilt despite not being remotely Scottish. Funko pop owner for sure, has a mini tardis and probably that dr who scarf. A pentagram tattoo, maybe some runes.

And like. Neil gaiman is a capable writer do not get me wrong. But his idea of creative writing is theorizing about how the afterlife is all bureaucracy bc that’s never been done by a bitter atheist. It’s always secularly Christian too isn’t it? I mean i guess that’s what he knows.

So im saying this knowing that he’s not solely responsible for it, really, and having read the comics and not enjoyed them at all but continued to have done so out of some weird sense of obligation, I’m very angry to admit that I’m enjoying the stupid Netflix production of dead boy detectives. It is absolutely a mishmash of other similar cw-type shows, but that’s just the thing. I eat that shit up. Riverdale, Sabrina, teen dramas with obnoxious editing and low brow production value. I even liked the second season of good omens despite like, hating a solid 40% of the secondary character and plot direction. It’s sorta like eating little Debbie cakes yknow? Or binging reality tv.

DBDA is better than all that, like it’s a crust above but it’s wrapped in the trappings of really shitty things, and whenever it manages to be a bit better it’ll sink a smidge lower by referencing its ilk or doing exactly what you’d expect of it.

Whenever I see the ‘two skinny whitish boys with obvious sexual tension and an annoying women in the middle’ I stop and ask myself— does this writer have a track record of making the same dynamic.

An obnoxious woman is not a bad thing. She can be a good thing even, but if she’s a mirror image of a million other toxic characters that indicates two things: projection, or a formula. Especially when paired between two male characters that clearly interact in ways that urge the audience to say ‘they should kiss!’

Then she becomes an obstacle. It’s rare for a character in this role to rise above the narrative, and even rarer for authors to try and write one capable of that.

A lot of fans will see people hating on her and cry ‘misogyny!’ Instead of asking why she was written, and why hundreds of other past iterations and future clones of her continue to be written. A similar character is the empty lesbian who stands in both popular media and fanfiction to prove that the author is not just obsessing over gay men and throws a bone to the supposed lesbian audience as well.

And then you have the flat poc or other LBT, sometimes disabled characters who serve to act as a tick mark off a checklist. It’s lazy, it’s annoying. But that’s a whole different can of vaguely related worms

[teecupangel]

I realize I've had a similar idea in the past, but please consider: reverse isekai protagonist Desmond who is the only human left in the world after touching the isu device because everyone else was transported into a bunch of different parallel universes (/=crossovers of your choice), each containing one of his ancestors.

He must now convince his ancestors to undo their parallel universes an de-isekai the world before reality collapses in on itself.

Oh, and he has no idea how to contact them, all he can do is get into the Animus and see what they're doing.

No preassure.

(+extra points if we get some cameos from the modern day protagonists. Maybe they're the key to fixing the world?)

You know what would be funny?

If everyone was transported into universes connected to their voices and the modern day Assassins are there for the ride and have no idea what the fuck is happening.

.

So we have Altaïr and his voice actor Philip Shahbaz has been in a lot of films and tv series. Considering how I write Altaïr, I would suggest we punt him to one of the crime procedural series that his voice actor guest starred in. We can go for SEAL Team because the episode Philip Shahbaz is in for that series is set in Syria so we can have Altaïr see what his homeland has become in this possible future. Alternatively, we can kick him to NCIS instead and it would be a case of Altaïr having to deal with both the modern day world and hiding himself from the NCIS team who is looking into the death of a military personnel that, coincidentally, was nearby when Altaïr was transferred into their world. Since you want one of the modern day protagonists as a cameo, how about instead of being a cameo, they become the main Assassins’ sidekick? The Watson to their Holmes, some may say. We’re pairing Altaïr with the initiate of Unity and Syndicate (there is a possibility that they’re not the same person but I normally just make them the same person because they’re meant to be us in those games). The initiate would know how the Brotherhood operates so they serve more as Altaïr’s assistant that he calls ‘novice’. The recruit is actually the one who realizes they’re in a tv show because they watch criminal procedural shows while grinding (because, according to them, Arno’s rank system is a grindy piece of shit)

.

For Ezio… now, Roger Craig Smith has done a lot of character voices BUT there is one specific character that we’re going to choose because (1) it will confuse the hell out of Ezio and (2) the characters share the same birthday: Sonic the Hedgehog. And he would have the lovely Layla assisting him for this predicament. Layla is just as confused as him but the best part of this entire thing is that Layla grew up playing Sonic the Hedgehog so they’re not going in blind. Sonic absolutely mimics Ezio’s voice whenever he wants to mess with the man XD

.

Okay. So for Ratonhnhaké:ton… he voiced a multiplayer character in Red Dead Redemption and that is all the excuse I need to kick him to RDR. Normally, he’d be punted to RDR1 but if you want to punt him to RDR2 instead, be my guest. Regardless of which game he gets kicked into, the main premise is the same. Ratonhnhaké:ton tries to find the Brotherhood but sees none and gets roped into the Van der Linde gang’s ‘shenanigans’ (RDR2) or entangled with Dutch’s Gang (RDR1). For this one, he gets stuck with Numbskull and it’s a very tense partnership because Numbskull admits that they’re a Templar (whether by choice or because they were coerced would remain vague until later on) but they’re both in the same mess so they’re gonna try and make the best of it.

.

And now we come to Haytham. I am sooooo tempted to put him in a Hallmark movie called Christmas at Holly Lodge just to fuck with him. BUT if we really want to fuck with him, we kick him to Riverdale and let him suffer through the batshit crazy plot that series had. And, just to rub salt to the wound, he’s stuck with Noob who is starting to Bleed Edward Kenway. Haytham gets roped into Riverdale’s plot because Noob believes that’s the key to how they can return to their own world. The problem? Noob only watched the first season of Riverdale so they’re both flying blind XD

.

In post-apocalyptic world where Desmond is the only human left…

Instead of the Animus, he finds out what his ancestors are doing because the Apple connected to TVs from a random mall that Desmond went to for a supply run.

He’s still working out on how to contact his ancestors.

But his phone… strangely enough… has four new contacts that he doesn’t recognize.

Desmond still needs to find a signal though XD

[sidneylover122]

Or Nah

Warnings! Smut, G!P Y/N, Cursing

Y/n Andrews has been friends with Veronica Lodge since Veronica arrived in Riverdale. They became even closer when Archie, your brother, started dating Veronica. Over the time that you and Veronica have been friends, you had developed a crush on Hermione, Veronica’s mom. You knew that it was bad to have a crush on her best friend’s mom and married. Although, you couldn’t control the fact that you liked her. When Veronica’s dad came back in town, from prison, it hurt you. You hated the fact that your sliver of a chance with Hermione was now gone. Then, Hiram started making Archie do jobs and he then started making you do them. Although, Hiram was your brother’s boss, and Hermione was your boss.

One day, she had a job for you. She told you to meet her at her apartment. She told you that Hiram and Veronica weren’t at home. You were kind of weirded out by this, but you could never tell her no. You got to the apartment and waited for her to let you in. When she did, you were surprised to see her in lingerie. She closed the door behind you, and she had this predatory look on her face. She looked like she was about to eat you alive. You asked, “What is the job you had for me?” She said “I need you to pleasure me.” This shocked you but also enticed you. You wanted her. You needed her, and you couldn’t deny her request.

You began to take your clothes off as you leaded her to her bedroom. You were excited for what was about to happen. You closed the door and pushed her against it. You began to kiss her with passion. You had already taken off your jacket and shirt. She began to unzip your pants and pull them down. She then climbed on the bed and pulled you down on top of her. You told her to take off the rest of her clothes. You then stuck two fingers inside of her and thrusted it. You began to slam it into her at a fast pace. You watched her face contort in pleasure. At this point, you didn’t care about Hiram and the fact that you were sleeping with his wife. You cared about Hermione more than he did. You heard her moan and gasp. You then moved your fingers side to side. You heard her whimper. You loved her reactions and you wanted more. You then added a third finger and began to speed up your pace. She screamed “Y/N!” as she came.

You then flipped her so that she was on top of you. You then grabbed her and put her pussy on your mouth. She moaned as you began to lick her. She tasted so good. You then stuck your tongue inside. You thrusted it in and out to make sure that she felt good. She whimpered at the overstimulation, but you couldn’t care less by how cumdrunk you’ve become. You kept eating her until she came all over your face. You licked her clean. She moved lower so that she was cuddling you. You asked, “Did i pleasure you enough?” She said, “Yes, that was better than Hiram ever did.” You laughed and cuddled into her. You’d finally gotten the woman you needed.

[aydafigs]

ooh I have so many thoughts on The Rat Grinders discourse okay

on the one hand, I think it's completely reasonable to be disappointed that there was no attempt from The Bad Kids to engage with TRG beyond just killing them as quickly and bloodily as possible, or no effort from Brennan to present that as an option. I agree that it sucks that these teenagers, who have been corrupted by rage crystals and are presumably being manipulated by authority figures, are being treated as irredeemably evil and therefore condemned to hell forever for their crimes - and I agree that it feels incongruent narratively, when a big arc this season involved 'redeeming' a corrupted goddess, and a key theme has been the power of utilising doubt to overcome rage. I also think it's a shame that Fig's past attempts to engage with Reuben were ultimately forgotten about and rendered useless (and I definitely got the impression that Emily herself was also frustrated about this).

however! I do also completely understand it from a gameplay, genre, and storytelling perspective.

firstly, mostly just as a sidenote, I think it's worth acknowledging that a lot of 'real-world' thinking and logic surrounding death and ‘redemption’ and the moral complexities of 'good vs evil' don't always work within Fantasy High or d&d. death is treated much more flippantly in a world where characters can and do regularly plane-shift to the very real and tangeable afterlives. it's harder to think of death as truly an end to someone's life when it is known for certain that those who die are actually continuing to live alternate lives on different planes of existence - and I think from a meta perspective this inevitably affects the way players think about killing NPCs within a story. no one is ever truly gone; they're just living somewhere else now.

additionally, in-universe, the prospect of dying or being killed is an accepted risk for those attending Aguefort. they're training to be adventurers, and as fucked up as it is, a key element of the universe and genre that this story takes place in is that people - including teenagers - die on adventures, and this risk is entirely normalised and considered unfortunate but necessary. it's one of those genre-specific tropes that you have to accept for the world to function. this is d&d, this is fantasy adventuring high school, teenagers have to save the world from other, villainous teenagers. it's every teen supernatural/fantasy drama. it's Teen Wolf. it's fucking Riverdale. as Brennan has put it before, "it's adventuring school. people die."

The Rat Grinders are not the heroes of this story - and what is so interesting about them, at least to me, is that they know that. there's a lot of excellent analysis of TRG as existing on a meta level even within the story; they're power gamers, they're XP farmers, they know they're NPCs; and this is the source of Kipperlilly's anger. Kipperlilly's rage stems from knowing that she is ordinary; that she doesn't have a tragic backstory, that she will never save the world, that she and her friends aren't a notorious adventuring party or 'found family' or anything other than regular. so she set out to become Not Ordinary by any means necessary - and if she and The Rat Grinders couldn't be the heroes, they had to become the villains. whether or not TRG 'deserved' to die or not is a moot point, I think. it's not about what they deserve. their story, and especially Kipperlilly's story, is a tragedy in this way; she was doomed by the narrative from the moment she started to write herself as the villain.

The Rat Grinders are, narratively, the Big Bads of the season; the Final Bosses of this game of d&d. this final battle is necessary to conclude the story in an exciting and climactic and satisfying way. it would simply not be as exciting, either for the players or the audience, if this season ended with The Bad Kids talking it out with The Rat Grinders and convincing them to switch sides. at the end of the day, this isn't a movie or a TV show. this is a game, being played in real time by real people who are improvising and having fun while collaboratively telling a story together. of course, the storytelling on this show is phenomenal - but it's never going to be able to do everything. they don't have a room of writers pitching ideas to write perfectly timed and paced scripts for character arcs and resolutions. they're a group of improv comedians playing a roleplay and combat-centric game together. they're playing d&d. they’re playing heroes fighting bad guys.

I do think there's a lot of valid criticism around rage and manipulation and who is considered worthy of 'redemption'. I just also think there's a middle ground somewhere between "The Bad Kids killing The Rat Grinders is awful and evil and bad storytelling and everyone involved should feel bad" and "haha suck it Rat Grinders fans, told you they were always evil". ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk. it's all love now. [smooch]

[beesmygod]

who fills the pot holes in “lore olympus”?

the thing about criticism is this: you can absolutely think “too hard” about something intended to be light fare and the delicate balancing act of art criticism is about threading various needles to avoid as many retorts as possible accusing you of opening discussions in bad faith. one of the many ways to obliterate trust in your critical audience is to become so derisively nitpicky that your attempts to draw attention to the pre-existing holes in the setting or the structure of the story will look like petty sabotage. i recognize this is the risk im taking when i get set off by the existence of sports luxury vehicles within a fictional universe created entirely to cater to a specific sexual appetite. indeed, there is no type of pedantry more obnoxious than the sexual pedant.

BUT.

the work doesnt exist in a vacuum. if we’re going to be honest about the work’s intent (or, how the work’s intent explicitly reads to the audience), part of the fantasy is to be completely taken care of. i mean, who among us hasn’t dreamed of this, at least briefly. it’s one of the most fundamental of all human desires. but to be taken care of, in settings which are founded in capitalist societies (everyone groans at my shit), begs the obvious question: where is the money coming from?

author’s note so everyone knows im not insane (hahahaha): i’m not here to argue the virtues of communism over capitalism or imply that depicting capitalism favorably in your comic is a moral failing. it is not capitalism itself that i have a problem with (...in artistic depictions), it is the way that it is invoked within this comic specifically that bothers me; it demonstrates a terminal thread of thoughtlessness that threatens to unravel the entire setting, premise and moral ambiguity of what is being presented as a desirable fantasy. this element is the catalyst that sparks the degradation of the taboo into the unconscionable. 

look i’ll be up front: my primary motivation is that this comic sucks and im a hater. the anti-feminist overtones are their own kettle of fish but the runner up contender for most concerning (oooueerrrg, everyone is groaning again) element is the complete lack of class consciousness. look, i mean concerning in the sense of “why has none of this gone recognized by, like, anyone?” every time i show someone a real LO panel they react like i’m went out of my way to fuck with them in an ultra specific way. it has completely recreated the feeling of being the only person in my friend group watching riverdale, if riverdale were the crown jewel of the WB.

to strip the pretension from the phrase “class consciousness” and put it in plain text: the insertion of modern capitalism into the comic has necessitated the creation of an underclass to serve the gods (the focus of the comic). as a result, the comic has repeatedly needed to justify the abuse, exploitation and acts of dominance over the subjugated class in order for the main cast to remain sympathetic. the author is incapable of envisioning a world that does not operate on disparity, in spite of the immutable fact that the gods are the sole arbiters of seemingly infinite creation.

and i’m capable of comprehending that there are times when a work has grotesquely unlikable asshole protagonists on purpose. it could be argued that the fickle behaviors of the gods is SUPPOSED to be detestable and there are obviously times where that is the intended audience read. but this is not “succession” and the entirety of the work does not indicate that it is trying to create quiet commentary by inviting the audience to draw their own conclusions on the characters by simply presenting them with the truth of their actions and deeds. additionally, if the romantic hero also engages in that behavior and it’s unremarked on or encouraged by the author or the heroine, what is the intended audience read?

regardless, all this to say: i do not want to alter the content of the comic, but to verbalize how it reads to me as an audience member. the purpose of criticism is to demonstrate and encourage reflection and to help refine one’s own perceptions.

okay. right. the cars.

this is minthe. i could write 100000 more words about the treatment of her by the comic and, by extension, the author. her introduction is about as subtle as a brick: she serves as the evil whore foil to persephone’s virgin perfection. her introduction as hades’ randomly abusive, hyper-sexual, and cruel younger girlfriend is contrasted with persephone’s naivete, chastity, and sweetness. shes literally smoking a cigar and wearing lingerie. somehow she is not the hero.

like i said, there’s a lot to unpack with her but i need to stay on target. minthe is a nymph, one of many “beast races” (for lack of a better term) that populate olympus and fulfill menial tasks and jobs. for example, this guy runs a modeling agency.

a modeling agency that include car shows. or...dealerships. its not really clear. anyway: she is introduced to hades in a flashback through his brother zeus who sexually harasses her during her shift.

lol uh. or comes as close as he can without becoming objectively villainous instead of “rakish”. as a result, what plays out is all VERY schoolyard behavior.

he executes a 0/10 prank that still kills for some reason.

and then it happens. “it” isn’t a singular event limited to just the example im about to give. “it” is the complete undercutting of the dramatic and logical tension within the story and “it” happens with alarming frequency as the comic introduces more and more modern elements. each additional luxury vehicle or department story or cell phone comes with the artist being forced to depict the people (or in this case, beast races) providing those services. the author cannot imagine a world where luxury is not predicted on service or a product, even or especially when the existence of the service or product does not make sense.

back to “it”...hades poofs away:

if gods can poof and fly (as its been implied some or all of them can), what in the hell is the purpose of the luxury vehicle on olympus? the beast races are sure as shit not buying them as they are explicitly the working class in every single one of their appearances. what does it run on? who pumps the gas? who services the cars? the streets of olympus have been paved so that cars can be driven so this would suggest the city’s infrastructure was centered around the use of vehicles. does he hire someone to drive him around in it, despite the fact that he can teleport? he and persephone clearly use it to get around even though she can fly. these cars are so successful despite having an extremely limited number of buyers, they make enough money to hire booth babes all day explicitly so they can be sexually harassed by the men (of a superior magic immortal race) buying the cars.

why does an entire seemingly unnecessary industry exist within the confines of the universe?

all of the above questions are overthinking a basic logistical problem with the setting for anyone with a moral center: in order to be served, one must have servants. the entirety of the universe in LO is constructed around not a modern re-imagining of the ancient myth, but instead a lazy and depressing hodge-podge of various products and physical items the author places great value on as status items in the real world. and, sadly, this is not as a bit within the universe. this isn’t setting up any message other than the central one of the comic: love and worth can be quantified with a dollar amount.

hades’ department store (staffed entirely by beast races who are delighted and eager to serve their master) offers a purse that two beast race women drool over, only to be informed:

this scene has a direct and obvious purpose: through it, we establish that hades’ store caters to the ultra-ultra-rich. this is a level of rich that is unobtainable to anyone except the pantheon of gods, whose unique abilities maintain the fabric of reality and thus set the terms for the world they unilaterally control. at best, minthe, a nymph, experiences a fraction of this wealth when sugaring for hades. on the other hand, persephone is the heiress to a cereal empire (who is eating the....?.........you know what dont even get me started on that whole thing) so she is all but assured to be independently wealthy even if she was temporarily without funds during certain events of the comic.

back to the purse: hades and persephone arrive at his own department store so that she can have a restorative shopping montage. she learns a heart-warming lesson about how its okay to be rich in what i think is one of the most gratuitous and absolute dog-brained moments of the entire fucking comic, thus far, including the part where persephone gets big and accidentally steps on (real, human, ancient greek) people and has to go on the lam. her accidental manslaughters evidently require a tribunal and a trial of her peers, which is odd when contrasted with the justice meted out on the beast races indiscriminately and unilaterally by individual gods who act as judge, jury, and executioner.

granted these are not the nice gods (i can think of an event with demeter, persephone’s confusingly controlling mother, specifically, as seen above), but there’s an echo of this behavior when hades bullies two beast race women into divulging information about persephone. in one example, a woman purchases a hair comb from a pawn shop, ignorant that it was a gift from hades and persephone is the one who pawned it for emergency funds. when hades shakes her down and demands where she stole the comb from, she directs him to the pawn shop and he just...takes it. to give it to persephone again. whether or not she was made whole or is even okay with this is completely inconsequential to the author but left me, the reader, in a total lurch. the complete disregard for addressing this within the narrative is less shocking when taken into total account with everything else ive been talking about.

the sequence in which hades takes her on a shopping spree to both improve her mood and express his love was too grotesque for me on every conceivable level. it is not just the shockingly antiquated “women b shoppin!” stereotype presented as a healing process, but the open and shameless conflation of money and love, net worth and self-worth. what possible message could come from this except to reinforce that within the fictional universe of LO, it is the place of the lesser to fawn over what persephone is ultimately entitled to. it is her birthright as the protagonist/self insert and as a literal goddess who determines the creation of food...and nymphs. the underclass. the gods are responsible for the creation of their servants.

the industries exist because they are 1:1 representations of or conductive to what the author considers to be a desirable luxurious fantasy. i do not think there is a more complex reason than that, as that is the reason why the entire comic exists: as a personal love letter to the author’s tastes and desires. and frankly, that’s the point of comics. ALL comic artists should succumb to this desire. what continues to vex and haunt me however is the complete lack of reflection occurring despite the author putting these elements together and presenting them for an audience who then lapped it up without questioning what, specifically, was appealing about this and why. it is by sheer accident that these elements combine together to paint an unflattering picture of a culture that has created artificial disparity for no apparent reason than personal gratification.

my question, is this:

who fills the pot holes on the roads built exclusively so that the gods can drive their luxury cars? why do they do it? to get hades some pussy????

[eightfifteen]

One reason for me liking Gay Mike is that by for once allowing both characters of a queer ship to be gay (instead of the seemingly mandatory gay x bi we see everywhere else), it allows the show to compare and parallel two different queer experiences, without implying that the difference in experience is based on their different labels and not just their general experience/personality.

I mean, almost every canon queer couple in popular media is a bi x gay dynamic, seemingly so they can check both boxes (we have both! yay!). Though that seems like the perfect solution, it makes it so that no matter how different both characters or storylines are (ex toni x cheryl in riverdale vs Charlie x Nick in heartstopper), their differences in experience always boils down to 'this is the bi experience vs the gay experience'.

By for once, allowing both characters to be gay, it would allow the show to fully explore and showcase how two queer experiences, no matter that they're the same sexuality, can still be wildly different.

Stranger Things specifically is the perfect platform for this, because we've gotten to see their story from such a young age - from the very start.

Will seemingly unable to hide his queerness no matter what he does, told by other people before he even understood what that was, and therefore had to learn and accept his queerness and how that sets him apart from the norm. Therefore, he could reject heteronormativity at a younger age, and knew he would have to blaze his own trail in life.

Mike on the other hand didn't have anyone telling him he was different. He had to figure that out for himself, dealing with compulsive heteronormativity and trying to distinguish different types of love, coming from a conservative household where he'd been expected to lead specific life, for which he now has to decide whether or not he wants that life or if he's willing to fight for another one. Realising he may not be able to have both.

And ultimately, and I hope we can all become more aware of that again, is bi or gay, we have more in common than we are different. So even as a bi woman, i can relate to Mike's experience. Mike being gay does not take bisexual representation away because representation is based on the experience not the label.

[howbrightthemoon]

Dylan's s3 reaction is one of the funniest so far

some context, youtuber Dylan Is In Trouble has reacted to the previous seasons of Bridgerton but only by watching the first and last episode

go and check it out!! him trying to figure out the missing pieces for each season is the most hilarious shit ever, and sometimes he literally predicts every single plot point without even seeing the other 6 episodes lmao

the fact that he is completely clueless about Anthony's "bee trauma" still gets me

iconic reactions from ep 1

*Colin ick wink* ... *eyeroll*

"were I to tell you even the tiniest adventure, I'd be forced to marry you." "he's bothering the hell out of me right now SHUT UP"

Picks up on Fran's sapphic energy from only her second scene AND predicts the LW imposter plotline (but at the wrong time), so he thinks it doesn't ever happen, even though it actually does later 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Pebling stan "I hope Colin loses to this guy"

"and what I have learned, is that charm can be taught." *dying cat noises*

Debling "Clive"

more iconic reactions from ep 8

*sad boi Colin on the sofa* "I hope you're sad. You should be sad. I don't like you."

Pen comes out holding her stomach (actually tying a ribbon around her waist) "WHAT ARE YOU HOLDING YOUR BELLY FO- oh I thought she was pregnant." SHE ACTUALLY WAS HERE AHHAHAHA

"I trust you had a happy wedding night." *SCREAMS* "a happy W H A T????"

*sees John for the first time* "he looks like a vampire, I hope he's a vampire."

*Cut to Bene-dicked down scene 1* *Dylan being just as confused as we all were* *Cut to Bene-dicked down scene 2* "what is this again...why are we back here?" *Cut to Bene-dicked down scene 3* "are they in a throuple???? OH NONONONO I'm having Riverdale flashbacks I CAN'T DO ITICANTDOIT."

*Colin stares at Penelope's bare shoulder* "have they not consummated the marriage?" OH BOY THEY CONSUMMATED ALRIGHT-

"if my only purpose in life is to love a woman as great as you, then I will be a very fulfilled man indeed." *Dylan sobbing* bitch that love declaration got me crying too

anyways i am convinced he is slowly becoming one of us

also check out his season 1 and season 2 reactions!!