#( gen : crack . )

[iamnmbr3]

Diary Tom Riddle: We have so much in common! Both half-bloods-

Harry: Both my parents were magical so not really but ok.

Diary Tom Riddle: Both orphans.

Harry: My parents died because of Voldemort...

Diary Tom Riddle: Mine too! What are the chances?

Harry: ... (-_-)

Diary Tom Riddle: It's like we're soulmates.

Harry: Funny you should say that.

[wangxianficrecs]

Wei Wuxian, worst supervillain by antebunny

Wei Wuxian, worst supervillain

by antebunny (@antebunny)

G, 3k, Wangxian

Summary: Lan Wangji has never met a worse supervillain. He finds this rather remarkable considering that he has, during his tenure as Hanguang-jun, fought quite a large number of villains. Certainly some of them, like Wen Ruohan’s two successors, Wen Xu and Wen Chao, lacked style, as did Su She and Jin Zixun. But what they lacked in style, each and every one of them made up for in sheer villany. Even Wang Lingjiao didn’t hesitate to kick a puppy she saw on the street. The Yiling Patriarch, on the other hand. Well. Mojo's comments: Adorable. Excerpt: It’s on a stormy night that Lan Wangji finds the Yiling Patriarch leaning against the side of a building, deep in some alleyway, clutching his side with one hand. His breath comes out in erratic bursts, and his sopping wet hair runs down his face and his back like ink down a brush. His silver eyes are dull when he sees Lan Wangji land lightly on the paved ground, clear umbrella held above his head, moonlight filtering through the plastic. They barely register shock, or fear, or anything else. The Yiling Patriarch slowly pulls his hand away from his ribs, lets both of them hang by his side. Black liquid drips off his hands like ink onto paper. “Have you ever seen blood in the moonlight, Lan Wangji?” The Yiling Patriarch asks. “It appears…” He lifts his hands. Raindrops pelt his palms, rinsing away the dark liquid. “…Quite black.” Lan Wangji looks at him. The Yiling Patriarch tilts his head back, closes his eyes. He lets rain pelt his face as well, as if it could wash him away. “No one at the prison died,” he says. “There’s that, at least,” the Yiling Patriarch murmurs after a pause. 

pov lan wangji, modern setting, secret identities, superheroes/superpowers, fluff, attempt at humor, light angst, tooth-rotting fluff, crack treated seriously, superhero lan wangji, supervillain wei wuxian

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[throneofsapphics]

crack headcanon for feysand, reader is friends with nyx and she meets feysand for the first time. she blushes instantly and they notice and think it’s hilarious. Reader drags nyx out later and whispers ” omg your parents are so hot, like ur mom is such a milf and your dad is such s dilf ” nyx is like ” ew that’s my parents ” the whole inner circle hears and laughs😩😭💀

nosy parents

(part two) (part three)

Summary: The Inner Circle overhears a conversation between Nyx and a friend

Warnings: none, not proofread

A/N: I LOVED this! lmao crack drabbles are my guilty pleasure, (sorry it ended up being more of a drabble than head cannons!)

Nyx, your best friend, decided it was finally time for you to meet his parents. You were hesitant at first, in fact you resisted it for as long as possible. Mother above, his parents are the High Lord and Lady of the night court. The fact that you’re somehow friends with him in the first place is still ridiculous, but his insistent badgering finally made you cave. 

He told you to dress casual, and you made him come over to your apartment before and check that your idea of ‘casual’ was actually correct. He gave his approval, one thing you always appreciated about him is his unflinching honesty. 

The dinner went well, you smiled and laughed throughout it and they had a way of making you feel comfortable. What Nyx didn’t tell you, is that the entire inner circle would be there. He slipped into your mind halfway through “what do you think?”

“I think you ‘conveniently’ forgot to tell me the entire inner circle would be here.” 

“They’re all my family.”  

You couldn’t argue with that. 

Still both of you managed to escape outside, to one of the balconies, afterwards. 

You were teasing him, nudging him in the side. “You didn’t tell me your parents are so hot,” and grinned. 

“That’s gross,” he groaned, seeing him blush and get flustered was well worth it … for a few seconds, until the entire room behind you burst out into laughter. It was your turn for your entire face to turn beet red as you found them gathering behind you.

“It’s not my fault they’re nosy,” he hedged, “they probably wanted to see if were actually just friends.” 

You audibly groaned, clutching your face in your hands. You'd never live this down.

[kittievampire]

MASTERLIST

Hey! I finally made one of these, whaaaaat?

My requests are

> Open <

Main Key :

💋 - Smut

🤡 - Crack

🥸 - Random Shit

🔪 - Yandere

🍼 - Next Gen/Baby stuff

💔 - Angst

❤️‍🩹 - Hurt/Comfort

❗ - Very Dark Themes (Non-con, Murder, Drugs, etc.)

💦 - Thirsts

💖 - Fluff

💠 - HCs

_

OBEY ME

Lucifer

Regret (💔❤️‍🩹)

No Fair! (🤡💠💖)

✨Chest✨ (💦💖) (Very suggestive, but no smut)

Lucifer w/ a peacock tail! (🤡🥸)

Mr. Phillip Gave Me a D (🤡🥸)

Mammon

Mine (🔪💋❗)

Don't Leave, Mammon! (🤡🥸)

Your First Man (💋)

Mams & Beel Brainrot (💋)

Mams & Beel Brainrot pt. 2 (💋)

Leviathan

Idia and Leviathan Shit-Talking Online (🤡🥸💠)

Gamin' Snacks (💋)

Satan

Asmodeus

Lust's First (💋)

Asmodeus' Clit Massage Services

Beelzebub

"You Wanna Play, Huh?" (💋)

Mams & Beel Brainrot Scenarios (💋)

Mams & Beel Brainrot pt. 2 (💋)

Belphegor

Relief (💋)

Diavolo

Diavolo Thirst (💦💋)

Kin of the Demon Prince Pt. 1 (🍼💋💔)

Kin of the Demon Prince Pt. 2 (🍼💔)

Kin of the Demon Prince Pt. 3 (🍼💔)

Kin of the Demon Prince Pt. 4 (🍼💔)

Kin of the Demon Prince Pt. 5 (🍼💔)

Kin of the Demon Prince Pt. 6 (🍼💋💔)

Kin of the Demon Prince Pt. 7 (🍼❤️‍🩹💔)

Kin of the Demon Prince Pt. 8 (🍼❤️‍🩹💔)

Kin of the Demon Prince Pt. 9 (🍼)

Kin of the Demon Prince Pt. 10 (🍼)

Diavolo Getting Pegged (💋💠🤡)

Barbatos

Barbatos' Fries (🤡🥸💠)

Simeon

Cleansed (🔪💋❗)

Taking Photos is Hard! (💋)

All or Some

Okay, Class (🤡🥸)

Sugar In Grits (🤡🥸)

Super-Human MC (💠)

Self-Harm/Unhealthy Habits (💠❤️‍🩹💔)

Cat Chaos (🤡🥸💠)

_ TWISTED WONDERLAND

Heartslabyul

Savanaclaw

Octavinelle

My Little Shrimpy~ (💋) - Floyd Leech

Scarabia

Pomefiore

Ignihyde

Idia and Leviathan Shit-Talking Online (🤡🥸💠) - Idia Shroud

Diasomnia

_

RANDOM SHIT FT. @puppywerewolf

Croissant (🤡🥸)

Can We Talk About It? (🤡🥸)

[theloveinc]

sukuna likes a full untrimmed bush fyi

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

All The Friends With Benefits (Part 2)

Summary: The reader and Jensen are home from a trip and have just finished up enjoying some one on one time when some unexpected visitors drop by...

Part 1

Pairing: Jensen x reader (w/ Jared & Gen)

Word Count: 1,100ish

Warnings: language, teasing, smut (roleplay with friends, implied dom/sub, spanking, delayed orgasms, aftercare), crack fic

A/N: More crack fic adventures. Enjoy!

______

“Fuck you have a perfect ass,” you said as you climbed off Jensen and he rolled over to his stomach. He hissed when you ran a hand over the red cheeks but you quickly returned with a bottle of lotion. You rubbed it into the skin gently, Jensen humming to himself. “Better?”

“Yeah. Bet you won’t even leave a mark,” he said. You laid down in bed beside him, Jensen smiling before you both heard a noise somewhere else in the dark house. You sat up, Jensen out of bed, freezing when the door creaked open.

“Hey, shh,” said Jared. He and Gen were giggling, both of them stopping when they saw you and Jensen there. “I thought you guys got back tomorrow.”

“We caught an earlier flight,” said Jensen, tugging his boxer briefs on and quickly deciding against that. “What are you guys doing in our house?”

“House sitting,” said Gen but you saw the look on her face.

“Do you two fuck in our house when we’re not here?” you asked.

“I mean we have a key. It’s not like we’re really doing anything. We always wash the sheets afterwards too,” said Jared.

“Oh. Awesome,” said Jensen. He turned around and you heard them both giggle.

“Looks like someone was a bad boy,” said Gen. Jensen spun around and pouted, staring at you. “We could...play. We haven’t since the party a few weeks ago.”

“I don’t think Jensen could handle more spanking no offense,” you said.

“What she said.”

“Oh he doesn’t need one. We could simply instruct?” said Jared.

“I thought you two wanted to have sex,” you said.

“Yeah. Why don’t we tell you two what to do,” said Jensen.

“Alright,” shrugged Gen. “Baby?”

“I’m good,” said Jared.

“Do I have to get out of bed for this?” you asked.

“I’m not gonna make ‘em fuck on the floor, Y/N,” said Jensen.

“You guys are nailing this dom thing,” said Jared with a smirk. Gen giggled and you got up from bed, tossing on Jensen’s shirt. Jared narrowed his eyes and you cocked your head. “I’m waiting.”

“Take-”

“I was referring to Jensen,” he said. “He’s the one that brought it up after all.”

Jensen opened his mouth but Jared just laughed. 

“Gen spank him. Ten,” you said. “Clothes off. The longer you wait the more I add.”

Jared grumbled as he took off his clothes, Gen smiling to herself.

“You too,” said Jensen. “You get five of your own for Jared being a little shit.”

She smacked his arm and undressed, Jared turning around and letting Gen go to town on him. 

“Go to the guest room. Screw however you want but nobody comes, got it?” said Jensen. A moment later you and Jensen were alone, Jensen wearing a big smirk. 

“What do you got in mind?”

“Well, I figured by the time we get off again, they’ll be both be begging for it,” he said. 

“You sure they’ll listen?”

“They’ll listen,” he said. “They aren’t as troublesome as us.”

“Definitely not,” you said, smacking his ass. He yelped and rubbed it, frowning at you. “Whoops.”

“Just for that, I’m not going to spank you with my hand,” he said.

“Oh fuck.”

“Come on,” said Jensen thirty minutes later. Your ass was sore and you’d long since discarded his shirt. He dug into your pink cheeks with one hand, the other rubbing his palm flat against your clit roughly while you rode him. “Wanna come in you. Milk my cock, come on sweetheart.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” you shouted, gripping him tight, squeezing his throbbing cock as you came. You pushed yourself through it, fucking down onto him while he kept rubbing and rubbing you straight into a second orgasm.

You whimpered as you stopped and rolled off of him, Jensen kissing you slowly. 

“Good girl,” he said. He stroked your cheek and nuzzled you, gently running a finger up and down your back. “Lay on your stomach and I’ll get your ass taken care of.”

“Alright. We better go check on the other two after,” you said. Jensen was gentle in rubbing the lotion into your skin, letting it sink in for a few minutes and cleaning you up before the two of you wandered down the hall.

You pushed open the door to find Jared pushed down on the bed and Gen above him.

“Well what do we have here?” you teased. “Should have figured Gen was the top.”

“Guys,” she said. “Please.”

“Go ahead,” said Jensen. Less than a minute later they were both exhaling deeply, eyes shut and basking in the afterglow of their orgasms. “That was nearly an hour. Good for you two.”

“Here,” you said, setting the lotion down on the nightstand. “It really helps.”

“Thanks,” said Gen. 

“Do you guys need anything?” asked Jensen.

“We could get snacks or-” you said before they both giggled.

“We’re okay. It wasn’t that hard. If you wouldn’t mind turning up the heat for us that’d be great,” said Jared. “We’re probably gonna crash here too if that’s cool.”

“Totally. Shout if you need something,” you said.

“Night guys.”

“Morning,” you said as you and Jensen came downstairs to find Jared and Gen making breakfast.

“Sounds like someone had a very good morning,” said Gen.

“Dean Winchester isn’t the only one with an oral fixation,” you said. You smirked as Jensen rolled his eyes, pouring himself a cup of coffee. 

“We were wondering if you guys wanted to try playing again tonight?” asked Jared.

“Nothing too extreme and I’m down,” you said. 

“We were thinking something softer?” said Gen. “We had fun last night and wanted to return the favor.”

“Sure,” said Jensen. “Sounds like a plan. Maybe we can go out for dinner first.”

“That sounds good,” you said. “I am curious what you guys have in store.”

“Oh, we think you guys will enjoy it. I guarantee it.”

________

[penn-dragon]

Probably surprises absolutely no one what my gen rex ship is

[kyooshi]

Gen z mc being having as much of a death wish as they are mentally unstable

*During overblot*

Riddle: *throws rose bush at Mc but misses”

Mc: If you wanna kill me do it properly dipshit!

Ace: DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?!

Mc: ...

Mc: YES

HELP I CAN ACTUALLY SEE THEM DO THAT

ever since that incident now everyone is on high alert on the MC because they genuinely think they want to off themselves, which leads them to have several heart attacks just by watch them

Trey: MC... You really shouldn't put that much cereal

Mc: why not?

Trey: well, if you eat too much of it then it may and can potentially kill you

MC: shit really?

Trey: yeah, so can you like no—

MC: *dumps the entire box*

Trey: MC NO—

[tinknevertalks]

Roll up! Roll up! It's that time of year again: the nights are longer, it's all feeling colder, and the shops are all trying to sell you stuff. But here in the Sanctuary side of fandom, it's the start of the festive fic exchange!

Do you like writing fic?

Do you like reading fic?

Do you like putting unnecessary stress on yourself to make a wonderful gift for someone, just to have half of the fandom turn around and say, "Aaaaaaah, that's exactly what I needed to read right now?"*

Then this is the fic exchange for you! Today's post is the sign up post. Under the cut will be a list of questions. All you have to do is send me either a DM or an ask with your completed questionnaire then wait for your match!

Schedule!

Sign up: 21st Nov - 5th Dec

Matches sent out by 7th Dec

Touching base post: 20th Dec**

Collection open for posting: 26th Dec

Collection reveal: 31st Dec

This is open to anyone in the Sanctuary fandom, regardless of character/shipping preferences. When it comes to fic length, the minimum is 300 words. I don't really wanna give a max (because I know how the muse can get sometimes), but if we cap it around the 2k words mark that should be cool.***

I'll be posting a link to this around the place (and reblogging again this evening for the later crew), and you are more than welcome to message/contact me with any questions, queries or concerns.

Under the cut: the questions!

Username on Tumblr/AO3: (I need a method of contacting you 😊. If you have neither, pop me your email or something? We'll figure it out.)

Things I am comfortable writing: (gen or shippy? Fluff writer or angst? Family feels?)

Things I would not want to write about: (all the things you don't wanna write - characters you dislike, pairings you don't vibe with etc. Also heads up on any triggers you might have - you don't need to explain the whys.)

What I'd like to receive: (go for gold! The more info you can give, the more tailored to you the fic will be.)

What I would not like to receive: (All the things that you do not vibe with, or squick you. Please please please again with any trigger warnings - I don't want a gift to upset you. 😊)

Any other info that doesn't fit in the other questions: (General vibes, could you be a pinch hitter, any thoughts, questions, etc)

--

And that's that. 😊 Thank you for joining in, and see you December 7th with your matches!

*You can answer no to this one - it's just how I am when it comes to these things. XD

**If you find you can't finish, or something comes up that means you have to pull out, please let me know so I can arrange a pinch hitter. I won't be angry or disappointed or anything because this is for fun, and your health (mental and/or physical) is more important.

**Obviously, if you find you go over a bit, don't freak out or anything. This is just for fun, after all.

[pixelbots]

LMAO this game is so silly sometimes. So one night, Anthon awoke to the sound of a burglar breaking in. But that wasn't all—apparently there were three of them, including Don Lothario and a friend! Looks like they were all accomplices because they fled the scene as soon as Anthon (very conspicuously) alerted the police.💀

[iamnmbr3]

Diary Tom Riddle: I shall now kill you with this giant snake that only I can control because only I speak-

Harry in Parseltongue: Guess what I can do?

Diary Tom Riddle: Even if you speak Parseltongue only I contain part of the soul of Lord Voldemort, the true Heir of Slytherin.

Harry: You're never going to believe this, but guess what?

[paradiseshards]

Crack ending

The springs on the death box weren't strong enough to break the mask

~

"They have chosen.... Die."

The lights flicked red, and Ranboo breathed in sharply. It was what they wanted- they desperately wanted to die, it was better than having to-

Having to live through Hetch's fucking Show again-

The Box's springs triggered, and he closed his eyes tight as the spikes swung inward-

The pain never came. There was the sound of metal on metal, a harsh, horrible sound, and then nothing.

Was, was this just another of Hetch's sick games, for the entertainment of the Audience?

He heard Hetch make a rather confused 'huh,' sound, and decided that whatever was happening was probably not planned, and he should maybe take a look at what was happening.

...

The mask.

Of course it was the fucking mask.

Too well-made for it's own good, despite the GIANT HOLE IN THE SIDE OF IT.

The death box didn't have enough force behind it to crush all the way through the mask, and without being able to break through it, the spikes couldn't get close enough to Ranboo's head to do much more than scratch him up a little.

Ranboo and Hetch proceeded to just, stare at each other for the next 20 minutes.

And out of sheer embarrassment at the utter failure of his murder game's finale, he made a rather very confused Ranboo sign an NDA, and kicked him out of the sketchy as hell abandoned mall.

[wangxianficrecs]

Fatherhood's Calling by Fortune_Maiden

Fatherhood's Calling

by Fortune_Maiden (@fortune-maiden)

G, 1k, Xuanli

Summary: Jiang Yanli thought of Wei Wuxian as a son. It made so much sense. Everyone knew that Wei Wuxian lost his mother at a young enough age to barely remember her. And everyone also knew that Madame Yu had never been fond of him. So why wouldn’t compassionate gentle Jiang Yanli start to see that pitiable urchin as her own? But... if Jiang Yanli saw Wei Wuxian as a son, then didn’t that make Jin Zixuan, her husband, his father? Kay's comments: This is the funniest concept and it's absolutely delightful. I never even knew this idea of Jin Zixuan stepping up to be Wei Wuxian's new father figure was something that existed before it blew up on Twitter, but now I can't stop thinking about it. This story delivers on that idea and it's just so funny. The way Jin Zixuan is reckoning with the realization that Jiang Yanli sees Wei Wuxian as a son and what that means for him. Just awesome. Excerpt: After marrying Jiang Yanli, Jin Zixuan had to agree. Jiang Yanli was nothing but affectionate and supportive towards him, but the way she looked at him as his wife was very different from how she looked at Wei Wuxian. It was also, however, different from how she looked at her actual blood-sibling Jiang Wanyin. Not by much (Jiang Yanli loved both of her little brothers immeasurably after all), but just enough to give Jin Zixuan a sixth sense for when the conversation was about to turn to Wei Wuxian. The look on her face was definitely familiar, Jin Zixuan thought, but he couldn’t place it until the day that same look lit up A-Li’s face as she happily announced that she was pregnant.

pov jin zixuan, jin zixuan/jiang yanli, xuanli, humor, crack, crack treated seriously, post-sunshot campaign, fix-it, burial mounds settlement days, fatherhood, families of choice, unconventional families

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[leonardcohenofficial]

cracking up at napoleon giving us the riker when he sits down in this scene from "the pieces of fate affair"; i suppose given the rest of the personality traits that napoleon solo and will riker share (we all know the main one) it's only fitting that he would also sit like this

(frakes has explained in interviews that he does the move because of a back injury he sustained and this makes it easier for him to sit; i have zero clue what compelled robert vaughn to do this besides a flare for the dramatic LOL)

[god-u]

[late-to-the-party-81]

Because it's Eurovision! Okay..?

AN: I wanted to write this last year, but didn’t, and then the enablers in the BBE server forced encouraged me. So enjoy this cracky Avengers Tower fic, where nobody dies and everyone lives happily ever after.

Un-beta’d

Dividers by @firefly-graphics and moodboard by me

Masterlist

Relationship: - None - Just good old team bonding.

Word Count: 1k

CW: Eurovision spoilers, American confusion, Domestic Avengers

“Oki doki, kiddos - what’s so important we’ve brought forward movie night to…” Tony looked at his watch. “... 3 o’clock in the afternoon?”

He looked around the lounge in confusion as Nat, Wanda and Bucky rearranged all the sofas, cushions and beanbags. Flag bunting hung from the ceiling, and the small kitchenette counter was laden with various snacks.

“It’s Eurovision, Tony.” Nat’s tone of voice suggested that that explained it all.

It did not.

“Euro-what now?”

Wanda came up beside him and started to steer him towards one of the seats.

“Just sit down, Stark. It’s about to start. Now where are the others?”

She looked around, auburn hair flying, but relaxed as Clint walked in, a grin on his face, followed by Bruce, Steve, and Sam. Wanda looked around them and smiled as Vision floated through the wall and towards her.

Clint bounded forward, launching himself over the back of the sofa and bouncing down next to Tony.

“Boy, are you in for a treat! This is going to be epic.” He grinned, completely unfazed by the blank looks from the other men. 

Sam settled on one of the other couches after a stern glare from Bucky, Steve joining him.

“Umm, could you possibly explain further?”

“If you will allow me…” The dulcet tones of FRIDAY echoed through the room as Nat and Bucky continued to shift and shuffle things around their confused team mates. “The Eurovision Song Contest is an annual event held in mid May every year, where the countries across the European continent all submit a musical act singing an original song. There are two semi-finals and then the final 26 acts star in the Final.”

Steve still looked confused.

“Well, what do the winners get?”

“The winning country gets to host the competition the following year, providing a boost for tourism and culture.”

Bruce settled down on the third couch, somehow having already snagged a bowl of popcorn.

“So the songs are good then?”

Nat snorted derisively.

“Nope. They are camp and cheesy, with ludicrous outfits, smoke machines and lots of pyrotechnics. But that’s the joy of it. And lots of the countries sing in their own language, so you have no idea what the song is actually about.”

Tony’s eyes went wide, nothing any clearer than it was before.

“Then why are we watching?”

As one Nat, Bucky and Wanda turned towards him.

“Because it’s Eurovision.”

“Umm, okay then…” He sunk down into the cushions, not sure it was worth risking the ire of undoubtedly the most dangerous trio in the room. “Can I ask why Thor gets out of this…”

Just then, the building shook, the unmistakable rumbling and light display signifying the bifrost had just hit the roof.  “..Scratch that.”

Nat turned on the television and squished in next to Clint. Vision and Wanda snuggled down into the beanbags. Thor burst into the room a few minutes later, placing Mjolnir onto the countertop.

“I haven’t missed it, have I?”

He took the final space next to Bruce, who passed over the bowl of popcorn.

“It’s the flag parade, apparently.”

The blonde god leant forward, arms resting on his knees.

“Ooo. I know this one! That’s Norway. I like them.”

Bruce smiled and elbowed his friend.

“Of course you do, they still treat you like a god.”

Across the room, Steve leant over to Bucky to whisper in his ear.

“Can I ask, if this is a European competition, why are Australia taking part?”

“Because they love how camp it is, and asked if they could join in.”

“I’m going to be confused during this whole thing, aren’t I?”

“Uh-huh…” Bucky threw some M & Ms up in the air, catching them in his mouth.

Back on the central sofa, Nat started to bounce slightly.

“Here we go! Prepare to be amazed…”

For the next 2.5 hrs the team sat, glued to the television, all manner of emotions running through them as they watched the eclectic musical display.

“Am I missing something,” asked Sam. “Why are they singing about Edgar Allen Poe?”

Bucky shrugged. “Why not?”

“Okay..?”

Steve nudged Bucky.  

“Buck - what’s she singing?”

“About how her love for her man is driving her crazy, but she doesn’t know if he feels the same.”

“Okay..?”

“My love…”

“Yes, Vis?

“This is an anti-war song, isn’t it?”

“It is, Vis.”

“Okay..?”

“Earth to Sam! Earth to Sam!”

Tony threw a screwed up piece of paper across the room and watched Sam jolt and shake his head as it bounced off.

“What?”

“You seem a bit invested in the Cyprus act there….”

“Fuck off, Tony.”

“Okay..?”

“Nat?”

“Yes, Bruce?”

“I don’t want to be rude, but is there a reason she seems likes she’s dressed like a werewolf?”

“Because it’s Eurovision.”

“Umm…okay..?”

Thor was bouncing in his seat as the Finnish act started.  

“This is more like it!”

Bruce peered at the screen, as though the neon pink and green outfits were starting to give him a migraine.

“But…but what’s it about?”

“Going out drinking!”

“Okay..?”

“Errrrm, Buck…What the hell did I just watch?”

Bucky didn’t even turn his head at Steve’s question.

“Croatia.”

That didn’t really help. All Steve knew was that he’d just seen something he couldn’t unsee.

“Okay..?”

The act from the UK finished and Tony stood up, cracking his neck.

“Well, guys. Thanks for that, I think. But now that’s over…”

“Nope!” Nat reached across Clint, who’d fallen asleep between them, slowly drooling on a cushion, to grab hold of Tony’s t-shirt and pull him back down. “Now it’s the half time show while the voting is done, and then it’s the results. And this year, we can vote from outside Europe. Look, there’s an app and everything.”

Tony blinked slowly in disbelief. “When’s it due to finish?”

“About 7pm.”

“What!” At Tony’s shout Clint sat bolt upright, snorted and sucked up a string of drool. “This thing goes on for 4 hours. Like how?”

“BECAUSE IT’S EUROVISION!” Came the chanted reply, this time with Thor joining in.

“Okay..?”

Tony pulled out his phone and opened the app store with a shrug. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

“I got $50 on Finland. Who wants in?”

At 7.05pm Tony sat staring at the screen, mouth wide open as the others groaned and started to pass cash towards Bruce.

“What the fuck just happened?”

Bruce smiled and shrugged.

“It’s Eurovision, Tony.”

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