#( ╳┊❝ Memes: Fear is within all of us. As is strength ❞. )

[voidtouched-blue]

[ flower hc meme ] anemone, forget - me - not & zinnia

anemone :   how does your muse view the world ;   as a cruel   &   unforgiving place ,   a land full of wonders ,   or something in - between ?  where does that world view come from   (what experiences ,   life lessons ,   etc .   ) ?  

Excellent question!

Cyra sees the world as both a heartless hell and a place to be marveled at. If it weren't for the ingenuity of man, then the land would be far more peaceful than it was. From the moment she was born, she had been treated as though her very existence was a burden. Being brought into the world under a new moon (or an empty one as her tribe refers it as) has rather important social and practical implications in their society. Being born without the light of the moon meant that her role in life was useless. Her only benefit to their clan was to be sold so that the island could prosper. It's the cruelty of man that she resents, and it was only perpetuated when the Garleans spent the entirety of her life performing experiments to forge her into a weapon of their own. There were few things during her imprisonment that kept her from losing herself to the violence committed against her. One of which was the decision that she would not allow herself to be like them. She would use her hands to heal, and not to harm as the Imperials intended. Yet, even then, she still struggles with the vengeful rage built up within her as a way to protect herself. She very much struggles to try to view the world in a brighter light. After all, it's difficult to understand peace and a gentle breeze when she was born into the dark of the world.

forget - me - not :   has your muse ever forgotten something that is or was important to them ?   are they afraid of forgetting things like that ?  

There is a point in her life where she does forget the morals and values that she tries to live by. Lost in her grief after the death of a beloved friend, she ignored all else in favor of a study that would end up being a curse. She forgot the whole reason why she became a white mage in the first place. She lost her sense of belonging and purpose the moment she realized she couldn't protect her friends from death. Having few people in her life that knew about her past made her feel isolated, and without the understanding of having someone she can truly rely on, losing that one person absolutely broke her.

In another point, she is afraid of forgetting herself. She's afraid of losing herself to that wrathful anger at the world for what its done to her. That anger is only amplified by the experiments done on her by the Imperials as they wanted to tap into a rage they could control. But since she escaped before their research and testing was finished, she is an incomplete product with a delicate trigger. She's afraid of losing control and harming others, which she has absolutely done before.

zinnia :   how has the loss of fallen comrades and/or loved ones affected your muse ?   has it taught them anything or given them any new perspectives ?

I somewhat answered this in the previous one, but I'll go into more depth.

As incorrect as the lesson is, Cyra has learned that forming bonds with others will only lead to pain. It's really quite dramatic if you look at it this way, but she genuinely believes that creating friendships is a death sentence to those she comes to care for. The only two people in her life (up to the point in the story that most people choose to interact with her at) have disappeared or died. Both of which, she had what she considered a really strong connection with. They were the only two people who knew about her history with Garlemald, and they didn't pity her for the suffering she had already lived through. They encouraged healing, and provided her with that sense of security and confidence in her own abilities. They gave her the strength to push back against the fear that constantly ran through her as her own blood.

Losing them meant losing everything. She didn't care about the peaceful life she now had, or the freedom that was hard fought and earned. She didn't care about how impressive it was for her to learn not one, but three methods of healing to further secure the health and safety of her companions and any who seek her aid. Of course this is only covering the story up to Shadowbringers, and she does eventually learn Sage as well as dabbling in Alchemy only for the purpose of having a method that doesn't entirely require the use of Aether to aid others.

If anything, losing loved ones and comrades has pushed her to self-isolate more. If she can't form connections and friendships with others, then it won't hurt as much when they die or leave as fate decides. Though, this has also lead her to become close with a handful of people on accident. She craves having someone she can tell her fears to. She doesn't want to suffer through her painful memories alone. And on occasion, she's accidentally stepped out of that cold fortress only to realize she's become too close to someone. The process of building that wall back up again in itself is painful, and it leaves her conflicted. This heavy contradiction of wants versus needs in her heart and soul are what drives her actions. She wants to be comforted. She wants to be cared for. Yet, in the same strand she cannot allow it for the sake of her own sanity. The constant tug-of-war with her desires has left her rather frayed. She's more likely to lash out at people or have heavy mood-swings the longer she takes to realize that she's let someone in on her life. And then the comfort of another becomes a sword in the chest, twisted slowly the longer she takes to push them away.

Losing others has taught her that she is too weak to process the loss of that comfort. She learns that it is better to bear the pain alone, to become strong through the weight she stacks on her own shoulders, than to allow another to be crushed by the same gravity that all living things share.

Thank you so much for this! I had a blast writing it all out!

[ironbloodcd]

“  i’m not used to letting people close. i don’t like being vulnerable— but i want to, with you. i want to let you in.  ” // Diluc to Willow!

memes for that specific brand of ships

@tenebriism

Knelt next to Diluc upon the bed, Willow listens - reads the words upon the other man's lips and lets them sink in, absorbing them despite his inability to actually hear what's being said. The artist knows that even just this is difficult for his partner - talking about the weaknesses that he prefers to keep hidden within himself. After all, one can't have their vulnerabilities turned against them if they ensure that no one can find them.

And Diluc Ragnvindr is a man who can't afford to allow his to slip through. Even as they sit together in the privacy of the other man's bedroom, Willow can see the telltale signs of his beloved's internal struggle - the tension that remains in his shoulders, and the way he can't quite meet with the artist's gaze. This is a man who's spent years suffering alone, insisting that it's for the best and that he can't let others get involved, can't let them too close.

Willow wonders what, exactly, he's done to convince Diluc to even consider letting his walls down when they're together - the question has long sat upon the tips of his fingers, though he can't bring himself to pose it. He's not sure what it is, exactly, that Diluc sees in him.

Only that Willow doesn't want to let this man down when he's so obviously in need of a place to rest his head.

Brown eyes take in the bandages that are wrapped around various wounds - fresh injuries that connect with old scars that Diluc's had long before they'd ever met. There's a part of him that feels he should say something - words of comfort, reassurance. That the pyro-wielder hasn't made a mistake in trusting him with the weight of all that he's told Willow, and that here is a place where the other man won't have to fear the consequences of letting his guard down.

Words don't come, however, as the artist remains quiet. Instead, slender arms reach out to wrap themselves around Diluc as Willow coaxes him down and against him. Fingers kissed by freckles thread soothingly to Diluc's wild mane of hair, a kiss pressing to the side of the swordsman's head in a silent message meant only for him - one that isn't spoken out loud, but is whispered in the form of a gentle hold and the quiet of this shared room.

You're safe here. You'll always be safe here.

Willow knows that he hasn't the strength compared to Diluc. He can't protect the other man from the demons that haunt him, and he can't stop the ex-knight from the battles that he insists on fighting alone.

But here, in this room, where no one else can touch them, Willow can ensure that he's not. That there's someone to catch Diluc when his legs buckle beneath him, to keep him from hitting the ground.

There's someone here who loves him more than words can express, neither the scars on Diluc's body, nor the horrors that he's witnessed will ever change that.

[misscammiedawn]

15, 20, 26

I'd say 16 but I know the answer to that one :P

Answers for this ask meme

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

As well you know, lass, when I am in a mood(tm) I find myself treating the camera's eye as a spotlight and when I am caged by a spotlight I am forced to perform. A Fae curse that I carry with pride, though it can be quite the burden. Alas I have never modeled for a professional before. That is something I do so desire, the ability to witness my beauty through the eyes of one who is capable of coaxing it from any subject. Behind the lens, though, it matters not which mood I am in. It was my first and purest artistic passion. Though I am an event photographer, not a portrait photographer. I do consider myself mildly talented, however. Here is a gathering of some of my portfolio:

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

My greatest weakness is a lack of stable foundation in all things that pairs with a lack of commitment. I'm terrifyingly apathetic about many things and often find myself performing passion as a means of connecting with other people. Witnessing how many things I simply dropped out of my life when people who used to mean the world to me stopped being in my life is haunting. I fear I need both incentive and external validation in order to strive. Tabletop Roleplay, Music theory and composition, audio editing, Flash animation, Python programming, movie analysis, cosplay construction, bead work, tailoring, model making and video editing are all skills I no longer possess because I turned my back on everything that made them up when the relationships that drew them out of me died. I imagine much of my managerial prowess left when I stopped running movie theatres, too. My greatest strength is likely my adaptiveness and resilience. I find myself to be quite adept at picking up new habits and falling in to new concepts and ideals. It makes me remarkably good when it comes to hypnosis on every side of a dynamic. As long as I remain on top of myself and maintain personal responsibility, it is the greatest boon to me and I do tend to remain keyed in when I have the power to be as such.

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

A difficult question. I am satisfied with who I am today. I am comfortable and with that comfort I am stabilizing. There is much work yet to be done with my mental health struggles, of which I am still within the first of a many-year process to master, and my transition, which I am in my final year of actively working on before inertia and medication management will handle the rest. Truth is, there is a facet of me stuck in the past who thinks we have regressed since the days we owned a house, run a business, mentored people and had a marriage and a place within a small little art studio. There is also an insatiable yearning within me that claims we need to do and be more. Make more hypnosis content, teach more classes, be more active and well regarded within the community. To be caught between the winds of change means we'll never feel truly happy with ourselves, but we can appreciate we're improving. Day by day. That means something. I used to celebrate only thinking of self-harm once or twice a week. We're getting to once or twice a month now. That has to mean something.

and of course...

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

These fine gentlemen and a dearly missed poet with a drumkit of whom I miss dearly...

[daisychainsandbowties]

weird ask meme 4 24 46 and 49!

4. which cryptid being do you believe in? (in my heart it's spelled like that)

i don’t think i actually believe in any cryptid specifically maybe i am too domesticated BUT… i do believe in ghosts! or at least i’m willing to believe in them as near as makes no difference.

i believe that spaces & people are haunted, in general, whether it’s a function of our relationship to time (Aristotle pls call me back) or some mechanism of our psyche but i don't feel any dissonance in thinking that something is non-verifiable and also possible. i think (and love) that we know a fraction of an inch of basically nothing about the fundamental nature of the universe.

& LOOk i did too much philosophy in uni so i lowkey believe that what occurs phenomenologically is as real as is reasonably verifiable, & therefore if it happens with all other things being equal (it is not a symptom of something ELSE) then phenomena are real enough for me.

smth smth the inherent unverifiability of Things In Themselves because all experience is fed through the meat-grinder of human perception.

so yeah, mostly the ghosts i’ve actually felt haunted by are animals - my little cat Delta for example - it’s not as though i’ve SEEN him because i have not but he IS to me a bright orange spirit who lurks at night under the bushes in the impenetrable wildness of the country road a few dozen steps from my house.

& i consider myself a rationalist most of the time about perceptions - as in, i like the counter-argument to the claim that we cannot be certain of the veracity of our ordinary perceptions which goes 'oh but you will walk across the room without fearing that the floor will become unreal, because you must.' all philosophers must eventually genuflect to the need to exist physically, whatever their stance on idealism.

that’s a good enough proof for me, actually, because it is ‘enough to be getting on with’ as in it allows us to exist, believing that one thing follows another, in the necessary connection between a cause and its effect. but there is room to say that, if we trust our perceptions, then we can within reason trust the stranger ones. 

24. if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

if we were on a rooftop we’d be having the BEST conversation in the world like bestie if nobody gets me you got me i still remember absolutely CRYING at your first comment on ligaments. i read it about 50 times & you just got every single thing i was trying to say and not only that you twisted it and turned it back and Broadened The Thought & made me astonished by the meaning of my own creation which is !!! the best feeling.

so yes you would have some hot/ lukewarm drink and i would have a silly energy drink and it would be quite reminiscent of the School of Athens. just the most enlightening conversation in the history of the world. 

46. favourite holiday film?

oh thE GRINCH. the live-action one with whoever his face is. i was literally just thinking about it five minutes ago at the absolute end of spring even tho it’s a winter movie (because em is torturing me again & there’s a very good line from the Grinch where he goes “FETCH ME MY SEDATIVE”) like damn. that movie is so bad, but it’s also so good. like just!!! scathing condemnation of commercialism, narrated by the og hannibal lecter (forget his name), the scene where he just shaves the mayor’s hair off which i think about every two weeks when i have to cut my own hair with my unpredictable and overexcitable razor. YEAH it’s my fav i love it so. 

49. can you skip rocks?

absolutely not! for a person who lives on an island i was not made for things that require hand-eye co-ordination. also i think you need at least three muscles to be skipping stones, and i have less than one. i think you need like torque and marriage of gravity and a lil bit of strength behind the throw to make it skip. my only solace is that beatrice warrior nun is also tragically terrible at skipping rocks. i am VERY good at picking out the right kind of rock for other people though. i am, in general, probably the most talented out of all my abilities at picking up nice rocks on the beach and getting stung by jellyfish. 

[pythonteeth]

for the ask meme shizaya 3+19+29+30??? 💐🧎

oh gosh. ok um i'm returning after like 7 years so some of this is subject to change as i catch up on a lot of content i missed!

3.Most common argument?

Izaya's inability to stop starting fights over just fucking anything and everything. at all. it's like he HAS to start a fight or else his brain starts buzzing uncontrollably

19. Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

neither of them. going off the idea this is something working strictly within what's canon, i don't think either of them openly tell anyone outside of the two of them that they're together.

not beyond the necessary people. i think kasuka and namie would know, otherwise all anyone needs to know is that they hate each other and can't be around each other like that.

29. one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

shizuo's instant rejection of izaya literally formed the person he ended up becoming within canon.

i'm a little tired, but basically shizuo is the first person izaya had wanted to meet post shinra. an attempt at making a connection with someone else. and it was rejected before anything he could have done ruined it.

30. one headcanon about this OTP that mends it

regardless of how things ended between them, they were the only two people who could take the other at full force without running scared or trying to use the other.

izaya never once feared shizuo's strength or lack of control, and shizuo never sugar coated fuck or all

[crispyblonde]

@huntmom asked: "You're safe here. You can rest now." from the escaping imminent danger meme forever ago yikes i'm sorry

her eyelids were heavy, but her heart was still pounding. it had probably been over an hour since jody had saved her ass, but time hadn't taken away any of the terror that had consumed her in the moments before she heard the dull thud of the vampire's head hitting the ground mere inches from her feet. six months, jessica had been back for six months and while she had honed in on her fighting skills, she had realized tonight that no matter how good she got at fighting the monsters superior strength and speed would overshadow her in an instant when coupled with the unanticipated. this time, she had underestimated the size of the nest and was ambushed by two vampires that had been infuriated to walk in on their three coven mates dead at her hands. she had already picked off another three of them when she'd caught them alone within the last couple of days. two in the park, another in the alleyway behind the bar, and a final one she had followed back to the nest. she hadn't seen the two that had ambushed her at all in her surveillance of the nest to prepare for a more targeted attack as she wasn't too sure what size to expect when it came to a group of vampires.

being bitten wasn't enough to turn her, the woman had assured her after offering to take her back to her place to bandage jess up. there was some inconsistent lore on that and jessica had been panicking since the moment she felt the tear of her flesh by the mouthful of terrifyingly sharp teeth of the large male vampire. nothing like the two dracula fangs that were commercialized in movies and halloween costumes. ❝ i think i'm still too wired to relax... and i don't want to put you out. ❞ she trusted jody and not only because she had quite literally saved her life, but the woman put off the most calming and helpful energy. something about her made jess yearn for an interaction with her mother past watching her from a distance to ensure that she was safe and enjoying some of her life, but that could expose her family to the dangers of all of this. she hadn't had any interactions with anyone that passed surface level since her resurrection. six long months of being torn between wanting to avoid dragging anyone else into this and the ever-growing suffocation of isolation. the latter having enough of an effect on her that she had agreed to lay on the woman's couch, not quite enoguh to stop the refusal of the offer to a spare bedroom.

❝ do you think there's more of them? they'll have my scent. and yours. ❞ the fear of demons coming after her to grab her and use her against sam always weighed heavy on her mind. this was a main motivation behind how she'd kept to herself. now jody might have some vengeful vampires coming for her head on top of that. the already forming tidal wave of guilt was starting to form, her throat tightened nearly making jessica feel breathless, and there wasn't the slightest sign of trouble or anyone tailing her since she had come back. that was the most confusing part. tears started to sting in her eyes, but she pressed them shut and tried to reign it back, no need to break down in front of the stranger; she had already done so much for her. ❝ they could always be arrogant enough to come after us, despite finding five corpses left behind in their nest. ❞

[khapaleaf]

Arbitrary choices, a lot of exposition, anti-climactic endings, and no dialogue because I am a professional non-writer. This is all so bland and convoluted, but I still think it fits the tone of the quests in the game, plus I had a good time. Anyway, this is the Knight-Commander as companion meme thingy from this page by @dragonologist-phd​, much appreciated. 

Name: Nortelania “Tela” Nelandarin

Class: Slayer/Deliverer (of many hits and massive crits)

Appearance: A tall elven woman with a light, easily sunburned complexion, and pitch black eyes that contrast sharply against it. Her hair is a shade of strawberry blonde and is usually kept in a neat style during travel and combat (none of the game models really work); it reaches all the way down to her waist when it is not tied up, though it is unlikely for anyone to see her in that state. She is lean and fit, though relies more on dexterity and manoeuvrability than pure strength. Her base outfit is of a moss green colour with lighter gold and brown elements, as well as some white details. On the sleeves there are intricate sewn-on patterns that she wears proudly as a way of honouring her heritage.

Favoured Weapon/Equipment: Elven curve blade and medium armour

Top Skills: mobility, trickery, stealth, knowledge (world), perception

Alignment: Lawful good

General Personality: Initially, while it is clear that she is well-meaning and dutiful, she is a bit closed-off and rigid in her interactions, even if she is striving to be civil and polite. After she spends some time among the crusaders and gets used to the Commander and their inner circle, she begins to come out of her shell more. While still calm and largely introverted, she begins showing hints of a sense of humour that is either deadpan or surprisingly childish on occasion. It also becomes more apparent that she has an anxious and turbulent side that she tries but often fails to hide. This is caused in part by her indecisiveness when it comes to trying to find a proper balance between her desire to do good, and the need to do so within a structured, sometimes overly rigid system of either her own moral code, or society at large. She is often paralysed by the fear of making the wrong decision, and tends to ignore her intuition even if the latter offers the best if unlikely solutions to the problems she faces.  

What traits/values do they admire? Loyalty, confidence, accountability, altruism, perseverance, playfulness, showing appreciation for the artistic pursuits and beginnings no matter how small they are in the grand scheme of things, being supportive and encouraging, patience.

What traits/values do they disapprove of? Overindulgence, abusing one's authority, excessive cruelty and violence, entitlement, lack of discretion, impatience, greed, disproportionate punishments, being dismissive of opposing viewpoints, chronic cynicism.

Are they affiliated with any deities? She is a devoted follower of Sarenrae, and believes in good intentions, kindness and second chances. She also thinks that the requirements for forgiveness should often be challenging, but also merciful enough in order to allow a person to seek redemption and rebuild their life should they turn over a new leaf. She is, however, merciless (though not cruel) towards those who deny their own guilt and wrongdoings.  

What do they think of their role in the Crusades, and of sharing the Commander’s Mythic powers? What are their reasons for joining the commander’s party? Prior to joining the crusaders, she essentially operates as an adventurer who travels the lands with the goal of helping those who are helpless, or joining the cause of those whom she considers to be worthy and honest. She does not think that her contributions to the crusade efforts are in any way more essential than any other person's, but appreciates being given the chance to push back against the demonic forces alongside a worthy leader and their troops. Privately, she believes that joining the Commander in their fight against the demonic threat is a way for her to gain a degree of vindication from a grave mistake that took place in her past. She is understandably wary of the powers bestowed upon the Commander and even suggests that this may be somehow linked to the corrupted lands of the Worldwound, further urging the Commander to use these powers with caution. If the Commander assures her that they will be careful, she will confess that even though she is sceptical of the origins of the mythic powers, she cannot deny the benefits that come with the boost in their healing and combat abilities.

Who are their friends among the other party members? She is rather protective of Ember, and often indulges the younger elf whenever she asks for stories of adventure and exploration of far away lands. She also connects with Seelah on a more personal level due to their similar struggles, and they both try to lift each other’s spirits up whenever one of them is feeling down. Her relationship with Lann, Regill and Sosiel is respectful enough, and she always looks out for them both during and outside of battle, but she never managed to grow close to them in a more familial and sometimes readily affectionate manner as with the previous two. Finally, while she did not fully trust Arueshalae in the beginning, being a follower of Sarenrae, she was more than willing to help her follow the path of redemption, often having conversations about what it means to turn over a new leaf, and also supporting her in subtle ways. 

What about rivals? She cannot deny that Camellia has a variety of useful skills, and the interactions between them are polite enough to the eye of a casual observer, though a person with high observational skills will notice a barely perceived undercurrent of animosity during their conversations. Privately, she believes that there is something deeply unsettling about Camellia and is relieved after her departure from the crusade. Her relationship with Greybor is tense, predominantly because she has a low opinion about the way he applies his skills and attempts to make everything about profit, rather than remaining open to the possibility of providing his services for a good cause without asking for a reward. Initially, she does not enjoy having Woljif around due to his shifty nature, although with time she comes to care for him (while still remaining annoyed by him) in a way an older sibling does for their mischievous younger brother.

Are they on any councils? If so, what sort of advice do they give? No (to be completely honest, I do not care for the council meetings as a player and always skip the dialogue to get to (what I think is) the better option; it doesn’t matter who suggested it and how, so I am not entirely aware what is expected from these discussions and solutions lol).

Where do they hang out in Drezen? In the Abyss? In Drezen she is found near the marketplace, either observing the townspeople or standing near the stairs close to Dorgelinda, giving some treats to her monkey familiar. In the Abyss she is found standing on the edge of the cliffs near the portal, looking towards what is seen of the floating city.

What are their idle animations? Clapping on her knee to call her monkey familiar towards her and allowing it to climb all the way to her shoulder (it is permanently by her side right from the moment of her recruitment, even though, yes, it shouldn’t be there in accordance with the rules until after level 10, I believe), straightening out the folds of her clothes, the generic elf animations.

If they’re taken to Areelu’s lab, what is their dream? She is sitting alone in a dark room, seemingly at peace, eyes closed and body unmoving, though she periodically opens her eyes and glances around – furtively at first, then with some evident distress, but she does not move away from the chair. Suddenly, a door appears behind her, and she clutches her hands together and closes her eyes tightly shut, giving it her all not to look back. Despite her aggravated state, the room begins to fill with light and colour until two elven figures appear by her side. It is not difficult to tell that these two are likely her parents, as the familial resemblance is evident to all. The man puts his hand on her shoulder, while the woman leans in to whisper into her ear, and the effect of these gestures forces Nortelania to open her eyes. She sees her parents and stares at them, eyes wide with disbelief, then buries her face into her mother’s shoulder and does not move for quite some time, while her father envelops them both in a tight embrace.

Do they advise the commander to abandon or keep their mythic powers? Her initial gut reaction is to abandon the powers, but she will leave the final decision to the Commander, naturally. If the Commander has shown that they are using the powers mindfully and without malicious intent, then she will encourage them to keep the powers on the Angel and Gold Dragon paths. The Azata will also get a positive response, though less keen. She is not entirely against the Aeon path, though she will remark that the Commander is losing both their spirit and themselves with this choice; if she is in an active romance on this path, she will attempt to break up, but the Commander can convince her not to with a successful medium difficulty persuasion check. She can be convinced to stay on the Devil and Demon paths by passing a fairly high persuasion check, though the romance will end regardless of whether the skill check was successful or not. She will leave the party on the Lich and Swarm-That-Walks paths.

How/when do they join the Commander’s party? She can be recruited in Act 1 sometime before the attack on the Defender’s Heart. Upon their return from one of the missions in the city, the Commander will be pulled aside by Irabeth and the latter will point toward an elven woman sitting at one of the tables and comment that a competent volunteer is willing to join their ranks. When approached, Nortelania will rise to her feet and greet the Commander with a small bow. She will readily offer her services to a good-aligned Commander, but she will be more hesitant to join an evil-aligned one because she will sense that they are more inclined to lead the crusaders for some kind of personal gain rather than being motivated by altruism. It will be possible to recruit her in the case of an evil Commander by passing a persuasion check by admitting that even though they may not be the most selfless person, they are still clearly the most qualified to lead the troops and defeat the demonic threat. In the case of a successful skill check she still remains sceptical, but will nonetheless become available as a party member. Otherwise, she will not be convinced that the Commander is being entirely honest with her about their goals and motivations, thus saying her goodbyes and making the choice to continue helping out in an independent manner, unaffiliated with the crusaders.

Describe their companion quest: There is a hidden counter for her quest, which is used to track whether she is pushed towards intuition (relying less on rigid rules, learning to accept her mistakes, being more assured and assertive but not harsh) or stringency (following strict rules, being less open to emotional vulnerability when dealing with various issues, being assertive but also critical of herself and others due to striving for perfection), with conversation choices geared towards either path provided both in her unique dialogues with the Commander, and in numerous other quest-related dialogues (for example, if she is along for Seelah’s quest in Act 2, and the Commander uses the “You’re both right in a way, and anyway, what’s been done can’t be undone” option, that will add to her intuition counter). Her quest is fairly straightforward and consists of three parts that should trigger in Acts 2, 3 and 5, though there is a hint of a problem in need of solving as early as her first conversation at the Defender’s Heart. If the Commander takes the time to have a conversation with her after her arrival, they will notice that, upon seeing them approach, she will quickly fold up a written note of some kind and tuck it away into one of her pockets. If asked about it, she will nonchalantly reply that it is a letter from her homeland while omitting further details. A passed perception check will open up the dialogue option to note that the contents of the letter seemed to make her anxious, and ask for further details about it. Hesitantly, she will make a comment about the Commander’s perceptive nature, but will ask to table the discussion for now as there are more pressing matters that need to be resolved before her private affairs.

In Act 2, there will be new dialogue options to discuss the letter at the camp. She will first explain that back in Kyonin, after a brief and middling career as an emissary that was cut short due to a fear of speaking and anxiety, she was instead recruited owing to her keen perceptive skills as an operative for a behind-the-scenes group that worked for the various courtly advisors and noble houses that saw the inherent value in traditional attitudes, but were not entirely opposed to change, so long as it was introduced into elven society gradually and by reasonable means that would avoid extremes in societal attitudes (the outside world, however, knew her as the curator for house Menaheran, in charge of cataloguing its extensive library and archive). One such job had her track a leader of a group that wished to break away from isolationist politics in a way that would cause societal unrest on various fronts. While she did manage to track the leader successfully, fate had it that the two women became trapped in an underground cave system. In a surprising turn of events the two managed to reach an understanding and develop a kinship as they worked together to survive and escape, and Nortelania learned more about the rebels, their values and goals. It was enough to make her question her own beliefs, but the experience also left her in a state of inner conflict. Hoping that the rebel leader – Velanoriel – saw the value in their brief connection, she suggested meeting up again in a week’s time and, much to her surprise, the leader agreed. However, on the day that she was supposed to have met a few of the other key members of the group, she was instead met with a gruesome murder scene – several bodies mutilated to the point of no recognition, and no chance of telling whether one of them belonged to Velanoriel. Next to one of the bodies laid a torn piece of paper with a set of coordinates unrecognisable to her. Upon reaching the marked location within a dense forest with centuries old trees she was met by none other than her mentor, Telandys Menaheran. The man was entirely aware of her attempts to engage with the anti-isolationist rebels and delay Velanoriel’s capture. However, in an unexpected show of mercy, Telandys demanded that she go into exile instead of imprisoning her or outright killing her. For all she knows, her family either believes that she is abroad looking for various period pieces for her mentor’s collection, or they think that she is no longer alive if Menaheran no longer keeps up the above-mentioned charade.

In the present, however, the letter was sent by an unknown source claiming to be one of Menaheran’s hounds – unsurprisingly, her movements were being tracked for decades. Apparently, the once noble and just leader went into a grieving rage after the death of his only son, Aranthelion – a perfectly average young man just about grown enough to enter into adulthood, and with no notable achievements to his name yet deeply loved by his father. Less than a year ago, he died in an accident which was brought on by a misunderstanding, if the contents of the letter are to be believed. It would seem that Aranthelion became aware of his father’s behind-the-scenes role when someone planted several letters belonging to the latter in the son’s desk (rumour has it that it was the work of one of Velanoriel’s surviving agents). An idealist, Aranthelion himself was largely against isolationist policies, but also came to believe that the work his father and his allies do was also keeping the elves in place, instead of allowing them to move forward and fully engage with other cultures and nations without fear of losing their home and identity. Due to his high social standing, eventually the young man found himself associated with a growing number foreign dignitaries, diplomats, and merchants willing to expand their presence and interaction with and within the elven lands on a permanent basis. One such luminary was a noble from Mendev who was interested in bringing his business farther than the borders of Greengold, and the two set to work on making his plans a reality early in their friendship. However, during one of their outings in the port city, the two got into a heated argument with a local store owner with the latter lashing out and pushing Aranthelion to the ground, which resulted in a fatal head injury. Long story short, Aranthelion died on the spot, the Mendevian noble fled the scene, and Menaheran vowed to get his revenge, believing that his son died in no small part due to incessant foreign influence. This desire twisted his personality, and he was no longer willing to look for moderate solutions, instead focusing on advocating for a near complete ban on foreign presence, all the while working on ways to track and punish the one person he saw as the most guilty in the death of his son.

The letter further explains that the Mendevian noble in question, a man known by his pseudonym Golden Nightingale, became aware of the fact that he is being hunted, and, in a particularly risky move, decided to flee the nation and play hide-and-seek across the Worldwound. The author of the letter further states that, while their main task is to track Nortelania, another one of the hounds, upon entering the Worldwound with Menaheran, sent them a disturbing message chronicling their mentor’s descent into near total frenzy and what it could mean for Kyonin if he survives his pursuit and returns. Thus, hoping that Nortelania, despite her exile, is still vested in the well-being of both Kyonin itself and its inhabitants, the anonymous sender asks to meet-up to discuss the situation and what can be done about it in further detail. A set of coordinates is attached to the letter with a note explaining that the meeting can be arranged on the nth (the date will change depending on the in-game date), and they will wait for another week before leaving.

The Commander can refuse to help straight away, thus breaking up the entire quest line, and the anonymous sender would believe that Nortelania is far more invested in crusade business than solving this issue. If the Commander agrees to help, a location labelled as nothing more than Meeting Place will appear on the map as part of the quest. Visiting the location will reveal a scene that looks to be an abandoned campsite with discarded tools and utensils lying around a roughly made fire pit. Looking around the surrounding area will reveal a trail of blood leading towards some overgrown shrubs. There, a body belonging to an elven woman will be found, seemingly still and unmoving, but with a small perception or lore (nature) check it will become evident that she is still breathing, even if it is barely noticeable. Nortelania will then comment uneasily that she does recognise the woman’s face, stating with a degree of disbelief that the elf is none other than Velanoriel, the leader of the rebellious anti-isolationist group. Though shaken by the revelation, she will nonetheless suggest taking the elf back to camp for healing. The Commander will then have the option to either: 1.) agree to the request; 2.) deny the request and simply leave the elven woman to die by demanding Nortelania put the entire situation out of her mind and focus on the crusade. Begrudgingly, she will agree, but not without leaving some cure wounds potions; 3.) outright kill Velanoriel and state that her injuries were too severe and a full recovery was out of the question, thus providing her with medical attention, either practical or magical, would have been a drain of much needed resources. Note that both this and the second option will set the romance flags to zero, without any way to salvage it later on. This option will also prematurely break the quest chain, though it will result in a unique (bad) ending. Back at the crusader camp, provided the Commander agreed to take Velanoriel there and provide assistance, a small conversation will trigger with Nortelania where she will express her unease about the situation, though she will comment that she is pleased to see that her former mark is holding on for dear life, as she is eager to try and understand the severity of the situation. She will also thank the Commander for their willingness to find some time to spare and help despite the pressing circumstances of their own situation. If Velanoriel is either left to die or killed, she will thank the Commander for checking out the location at least, and will promise to focus on crusade matters from now on. Her tone will be far more distant than usual, though she will not elaborate if asked to explain the shift in her mood, instead leaving the Commander to their crusade duties.

In Act 3, if and when Velanoriel is healed, the three of them will have a proper conversation at last. The elven leader will say that she had spent much of her time trying to understand Menaheran’s weaknesses – looking for ways to undermine him, trying to turn some of his hounds and agents to her cause – and will further confess that she was indeed the person that planted the letters for Menaheran’s young and impressionable son to see, with the hope that she would eventually recruit him to her cause as a means of diminishing his father’s influence. However, his death was a tragic loss that she claims no responsibility for. To this, the Commander can comment that even if it was not her intention for the young son to die, her initial actions did set in motion a series of events that led to this end. Alternatively, they can agree that his death was an event completely out of Velanoriel’s hands, stating that no person can accurately predict the effect of their actions and that mistakes, however tragic, are there for us to learn from them. Whether the Commander decides to interject or not, she will continue her story, saying that at first she was pleased to see Menaheran descend into near hysteria, although with time the reports chronicling his behaviour began to disturb her deeply. The fact that he was growing more and more pro-isolationist in his views also forced her to rethink her strategies, even if it meant returning to the status quo. One day, upon learning that Menaheran is planning to follow the Mendevian noble all the way to the Worldwound, she disguised herself as one of his hounds that were to accompany him on his hunt, determined to eliminate Menaheran when the time was right. However, in a strange turn of events she began to question whether it was possible to turn the man back to his usual self, perhaps out of some morbid curiosity, or perhaps due to feeling sorry about his circumstances. In any case, at some point during their journey Velanoriel became aware of the fact that Menaheran is keeping tabs on Nortelania. Intrigued, she eventually contacted the hound responsible for this task and managed to turn him to her cause, the end goal of which, to be entirely honest, was becoming more muddied by the day. Either way, she suggested looking in several key locations in order to get to the Golden Nightingale first and offer their protection, and, should the hound be successful in tracking their target, proposed meeting for further planning. Soon after, they sent the letter to Nortelania, hoping to arrange a meetup but being ambushed in the process. 

Velanoriel will then mark a location on the map indicating the place where she and the hound were supposed to have had their meeting had she been successful in eliminating the trackers. She will prompt the Commander to be quick, because their rivals are also highly committed to their goal, making movement along these parts incredibly difficult and dangerous. At the given location – a worn down hut with a labyrinthine system beneath it – the party will be required to dispatch some stray but otherwise unimportant creepy crawlers and some lame old babaus before reaching the end of the underground structure and finding a camp hidden away by a magic barrier. Before the barrier lie several mangled bodies belonging to the elven hounds – disguised and dressed in unassuming clothes to blend in with the locals and track their targets (a closer inspection will reveal body armour hidden beneath the layers, though that evidently did not help prevent the ripping of of their extremities). The magical barrier can be dispelled with a medium difficulty use magic device or knowledge (arcana) skill check. There, the party is required to look around the abandoned camp space and, with a successful perception check, take note of a long, narrow crack hidden behind dense creeping vines, that has opened up farther along the wall, and a light breeze is wafting through. A character with a medium mobility skill will be needed to fit through the crack and help in leading the others make it safely to its other end. The time spent in the narrow passage will seem agonisingly slow, with the air being thick with a kind of musty and earthy smell. The uneven rock walls of the cave will seemingly nearly encase the party for a time, digging into their back and chest with its edges. Eventually, all will feel the air becoming less humid and, with a successful skill check, reach the surface once more. In case of a failure, however, a randomised party member will receive a head wound due to a tumbling rock near the cave’s exit. The party will then find themselves quite a bit removed from their entrance near the worn down hut, though its tall chimney will still be seen on the horizon. There, with a high perception check, one of the companions will point toward some trees and the small pile of soil and leaves beneath it – seemingly ordinary yet intriguing to the keen eye. The party will frustratingly find nothing but a folded note written in a cipher tucked and hidden in the pile. Having Nortelania or having a companion with the knowledge (world) skill in the party will reveal that the letters appear to be elven, though written using an older script, with the text itself appearing to be nothing but gibberish to the untrained eye. Further attempts to decipher it on the spot will yield no results.

Without having much success in their journey, the party will be forced to return to Velanoriel. Upon returning to the capital, the Commander will briefly explain the situation to Velanoriel, who will become visibly shaken upon hearing that the group managed to find no one at the location, but she will steel herself quickly enough in order to receive the written message, thanking the Commander for bringing it for her to contemplate, though she will confess that deciphering the text will take some time. In a day’s time, she will request to see the Commander and will eagerly roll out a map with a new set of coordinates to check out and see whether the hound and the Golden Nightingale are safe.  The map will take the party to an abandoned ruin. If Velanoriel was left to die in Act 2, this part of the quest and this particular area on the map will be revealed in an unskippable ambush scenario in which a number of elven agents will try to make pleasant conversation with the Commander (if Nortelania is in the party, they will attack on sight), though distant sounds of a fight will be heard coming from within the ruin. In any case, they will not let the group pass inside of the ruin, and will need to be dealt with before processing to the derelict structure. There, the Commander will walk into a scene of a murder about to happen (this will happen in a book story format used in the game a lot). With the hound gravely wounded and subdued, the Mendevian noble is left to fend for himself with nothing but a rusted sword discarded in these ruins decades if not centuries ago. There are merely four elves to deal with, but that in itself could prove to be difficult. The options to clear the area would be: 1.) with an arcane user in the group, cast web or grease (do not forget to cast freedom of movement on the party beforehand), grab the hound and the Nightingale, and escape. One of the elves will make an attempt to grab the party member with the lowest reflex score by their ankles and, should they fail their saving throw, they will be brought to the ground, hurting their knee, though later successfully kicking off the elf at the cost of yet another small injury by getting stabbed in the leg. Despite this, the party will escape successfully with both of their targets secure; 2.) with an athletics check, have someone climb the broken down stairs made of stones, and attempt to line up and shake the pillar in order to crush the elves with it. A successful skill check will eliminate the elves and leave the Nightingale unharmed, but a failed check, while crushing the elves, will injure the noble man severely; 3.) have a character perform a stealth+mobility skill check by having them stealthily approach the four elves and take them out in quick succession. In case of a failed skill check, one of the elves will stab the Nightingale in the gut, while the remaining ones will need to be dealt with by the Commander and their companions. If the Nightingale got injured during the rescue, the hound will implore the Commander to provide healing, as it is important to keep the Mendevian alive because he is in possession of a crucial piece of evidence in regards to Aranthelion. However, this evidence is kept in an arcane protected box which responds to a spoken line verbalised with his voice only, thus making his survival a priority. Otherwise, the hound, while also injured, will thank their rescuers but state that further questions will have to wait until they are away from this place.

Back at Drezen, the quest will update with the task to visit the temple to see how their newest visitors are acclimating themselves. The Nightingale is still in shock, and he will confess that this venture is taking a bigger toll on him than he could have even predicted. If Velanoriel was left to die, the hound will add that it feels like their journey should have fallen apart earlier, after Velanoriel nearly crawled to their place of meeting full of injuries, though determined to relay that Nortelania had indeed visited their camp, and that knowledge alone kept him going. Still, he will bitterly comment that he is not expecting the Commander to be of much help. To this, the Commander can reply that, while they do not have a personal investment in this situation, it is important to one of the people belonging to their inner circle and they intend to see it through, even if they did not understand its significance earlier, and for which they apologise. Alternatively, the Commander can dismiss the hound’s remark, stating that they will not allow themselves to be dragged down by this pathetic display, though they are willing to be “the bigger person” and see this through until the end. 

Whether the Mendevian noble was successfully rescued or not, he will go on to explain that the box contains letters exchanged between the Nightingale and Menaheran’s son. These letters contain personal details and describe at full length Aranthelion’s feelings about the need for elven society to become less isolationist. It becomes clear by reading the letters that he was under no compulsion or deception when prior to the accident that took his life – perfectly willing to bring about changes, big and small, by his own volition. If there is a way to open the box, the hound will comment that having these letters may give them a chance of making Menaheran see reason and abandoning his quest for revenge by showing him what kind of issues his son held close to heart.

After a while, the Commander will receive visitors in the conference room – elven officials claiming to have a vested interest in bringing one of the Commander’s recent visitors back to Kyonin to provide information as an eyewitness to a case of manslaughter. The Commander can easily infer that they are talking about  the Golden Nightingale and his connection to Aranthelion, and they should know by this point that the elven merchant responsible for the death of the latter was appropriately punished. Therefore, the elven “officials” are really trying to trick them into releasing the Nightingale into Menaheran’s custody and potential future abuse as an act of vengeance. Still, the elves will be persuasive, offering great riches and an opportunity to have among the crusaders a highly trained unit of elven assassins. Should the Commander agree to give the Mendevian noble into their custody, the remaining quest line will no longer be available, and, disappointed with their decision, Nortelania will leave permanently, no longer having the same enthusiasm for the leader of the crusaders as many others do. Otherwise, the quest line will resume in Act 5.

In Act 5, Velanoriel (if alive), Nortelania and the hound will approach the Commander in the meeting area of the castle to discuss the plan to lure out Menaheran into the open, commenting that they have noticed a few from his entourage circling around Drezen’s surrounding areas, though not yet following through with any kind of plan to either kidnap or eliminate the Nightingale. Velanoriel will suggest having one of them magically disguise themselves as the Mendevian noble, with the hound escorting both of them away from Drezen, seemingly to allow him to escape. The Commander, on the other hand, should go ahead with their companions and set up an ambush at the decided upon location with the goal of subduing Menaheran. Afterwards, Velanoriel and the hound will take their leave, but Nortelania will linger behind. At this point, the Commander can ask what her plans are in regards to Menaheran’s fate, should they be successful in this venture.To this, Nortelania will comment that she is not thoroughly convinced that he is a completely lost cause, though he will need to answer for his use of brute force in hunting down the Mendevian noble and leaving him mentally scarred. The Commander can either ponder her reply in silence, agree that they must try their best to get through to him and convince him to abandon his revenge, however unlikely that might seem, or suggest that he should be dealt with in a way that will prevent him from going on similar rage-fueled campaigns – either by killing him or by way of imprisonment.

East of Drezen, in a thickly wooded area, the Commander and their  companions will be required to set up an ambush and wait. If Velanoriel is dead, Nortelania will briefly become unavailable, because she will have to mask herself as the Mendevian noble and lure out her former master. Once Menaheran and his entourage of five will reach the location, the Commander and their companions will encircle them and an auto-dialogue will appear in the storybook format with the option to tell him to surrender. He will attempt to rush and grab the “noble”, but the person pretending to be him will unmask themselves at this point, making Menaheran loose his temper. If the party managed to acquire the letters sent by his son, the Commander will mention this and suggest having a proper discussion. His disposition will soften for a brief moment, but a fight will ensue regardless. After seeing that both he himself and his five warriors are incapacitated, Menaheran will have no other option but to listen to what the Commander has to say. It will be possible to present the letters directly for him to leaf over, if they are in the party’s possession, which will make further persuasion skill checks easier. Otherwise, several persuasion skill checks will be offered: 1.) suggest to let go, stating that he only loses more of himself by continuing on this path; 2.) suggest to keep the memory of his son in his heart, but try to find strength to forgive both the noble for escaping and himself for choosing the path of ruination; 3.) suggest that the memory of his son should not be a source of anguish that requires vengeance to dull its pain, but instead can be used as a beacon of hope to allow him to see new possibilities while remaining cautious not to go overboard. While it would appear that something breaks inside of Menaheran, if Velanoriel is present, he will address Nortelania and state that, while exiled, she was never formally released from her oath, thus making it her duty to capture the leader of the anti-isolationist rebels and bring her to him. If only the hound is present, Menaheran will reveal the elf’s name (Faelarion) and state that his actions were entirely unsanctioned, and he needs to be dealt with appropriately, suggesting that this loyalty test will decide whether Nortelania deserves to return from exile. She will not comply at this point if her intuition counter is higher than the stringency one, but the reverse case will cause her to doubt herself (the same will apply if the counters sit at equal values). Seeing this, Menaheran will further push Nortelania, saying that this situation only came to be due to her mistakes and disregard of her duty, but he is willing to give her a chance. At this point, the Commander can solidify which way she will be nudged towards. The can either remark that a mistake made in the past should not define and shackle a person, but instead offer a way of strengthening one’s character and abilities. There is value in mistakes, and one should embrace with an open heart (this will add to the intuition counter). Conversely, they can say that, since our lives and the path to our goals are bound to be riddled with errors and mistakes, it is crucial for people to act in ways that take into account these potential miscalculated decisions and work on preventing them before they even shape up to happen. To often, people fall into the trap of justifying their mistakes, thus becoming more weak-willed and lacking focus (this will add to the stringency counter).

If Nortelania once again refuses to follow her mentor’s instructions, he will fume for a while, though ultimately, sensing his own defeat and unfavourable position, will acknowledge that there is value in following a path unrestricted by inflexible rules. He will concede that his own little crusade was bound to be a failure from the start, or else it would have ended in his own demise, further promising to honour the memory of his son by putting an end to this venture. If only Faelarion is present, he will relieve him of his duty of tracking Nortelania, urging him to return to Kyonin to make preparations for his own eventual homecoming. If Velanoriel is alive, he will, somewhat listlessly, ask if she intends to keep on ruining his efforts to avoid a societal upheaval. To this, she will surprise everyone by solemnly saying that she sees this entire ordeal as a cautionary tale and no longer thinks that rapid change is the answer. After all, the elves have more time than most to think about what direction they should take. Though she will promise to keep her eye on Menaheran, prompting a hearty laugh from the man. 

If Nortelania agrees to hand over either Velanoriel or Faelarion (or both), a fight will ensue, though it will not be fatal, and the elven guards will take their prisoner(s) into custody, marching along ahead of their leader. Still, remembering her dedication to Sarenrae’s teachings, Nortelania will ask that the prisoners be treated fairly and with the possibility of an absolution. Afterwards, Menaheran will slowly return to his old, calm self and applaud her willingness to follow the path laid before her until the end, and will mention that, should she wish to become protégé once more, his doors shall remain open. He will similarly thank the Commander for bringing him back from his irrational state and will make the promise to honour the memory of his son upon returning to Kyonin. 

Whichever way the quest concludes, the Commander will have the option to ask Menaheran how he intends to navigate elven politics from behind-the-scenes, to which he will state that their queen is still young and largely interested in applying less isolationist policies, but he will ensure that it is done in a way that prevents chaos and fracturing within their society. Still, after having paid witness to the Commander and their various companions, all of which come from different backgrounds and societies, he is willing to be a bit more lenient in his decisions, knowing that inspiration and beneficial knowledge can be found beyond the borders of Kyonin, thus returning to the status quo before his hunt on the Mendevian noble, although with more tolerance for a more collaborative approach to the development of elven society. Finally, before his departure, he will confess that Nortelania’s parents are still blissfully unaware of her exile, thus making her free to visit them at any time if she so wishes.

Back at Drezen, Nortelania will seek the Commander out and thank them for their help, whichever way the quest ends. However, their conversation will vary depending on whether she is pushed towards intuition or stringency. She will also say that the Mendevian noble, now free of being hunted, no longer wishes to stay in Drezen, and is planning to leave, though he promises to supply the Commander with a group of talented warriors as a way of thanking them for their protection.

Are they romanceable? Describe their romance quest/scenes if you want! She is romanceable by female and male Commanders of an alignment that is ultimately non-evil. However, the romance itself is rather niche because it will not feature any fade-to-black scenes of a more physical nature. She is not interested at all in any activities of a sexual nature and it will be addressed in the romance as it progresses.

If the Commander spoke to her soon after her arrival to the Defender’s Heart, there would be some subtle options available among the dialogue options. Most notably, asking her about her travels prior to the Worldwound would lead to the option of remarking on the fact that some of her adventures sound risky, and further inquiring whether there was anyone to keep her company. She will comment that she was surrounded by people of various walks of life on her journeys – some she knew for only a couple of days, while others stayed in her life for a longer period, and while she did enjoy spending time with them, either as a protector, or as a companion on a long journey from one distant land to another, none were close enough to share the troubles that weighed heavily on her mind, thus often leaving her with the feeling of being alone in a world of strangers. The Commander can then: 1.) say that they understand the feeling of not wanting to be a burden to those around them, and will further comment that it is important for people to know that they have someone that can offer companionship and a feeling of safety, especially during particularly trying times; 2.) teasingly comment that they hope that the presence of one very amiable Commander will alleviate that feeling and, even though they barely know each other, they hope to become someone that will help her carry whichever burdens she might have. She will appreciate either sentiment, and will go on to state that she appreciates the Commander looking out for her, praising their attentiveness to those under their command. She will also commend them for protecting others, to which the Commander can either thank her good-naturedly, or respond in a slightly flirtatious manner stating that they are all the more happy to do so knowing that she is there to watch their back. In the first case, she will respond with a small smile, but she will gently but firmly urge the Commander to get back to their duties. In the second case, she will smile and say that the Commander hardly seems like someone in need of constant protection, though she is pleased to know that they trust her with this important task before reminding them not to dally.

In Act 2, there will be an option of reassuring her during her personal quest and promising to stand by her and help her solve the issue until the end.

After the battle for Drezen, if the Commander has expressed their interest in her at least once, she will ask whether they can spare the time to see her for a private conversation. If the Commander agrees, she will take them to the battlements in the late evening to talk. She will begin by saying that she is glad to have grown close to the Commander in such a short amount of time and will offer to listen to any worries, complaints or thoughts they might have, in many ways echoing the sentiments expressed by the Commander during one of their first conversations. She will then turn to look at the night sky distractedly, saying that she believes that each body is a universe that contains their own inner candlelight that is there to offer help, inspiration and understanding to those who need it in traversing the world. However, many people either forget about it or are completely unaware of it to begin with, and behave recklessly and thoughtlessly, thus toppling the candle over and putting out its light. Still, she hopes that the Commander will not forget about their own light despite the numerous hardships they face, and will try to keep their inner candle burning. To this, the Commander can ask if this is a fanciful metaphor the followers of Sarenrae use to cheer someone up. She will blush a bit at this, saying that it is nothing so profound, as these are her own thoughts that gave her comfort in a difficult time, as well as a way to keep her from hardening in a world that is oftentimes harsh and unforgiving, because when a person has something to protect, and something to live for, life becomes a bit more bearable. 1.) tease her and ask whether she meant to say “someone” instead of “something” (she will smile evasively, though it would seem that she does not appreciate the humour right now); 2.) thank her for keeping them in her thoughts, and promise to keep her words close to heart; 3.) thank her for the encouragement, and confess that they find it to be a daunting task on top of everything else they have to deal with, but admit that they feel a bit more at ease knowing that she is there to offer a degree of solace. Either way, she will reiterate that she is grateful for having met the Commander and hopes that the both of them will face whichever obstacles ahead by being there for each other. At this point, she will try to take hold of the Commander’s hand, but will stop herself. Noticing this, the Commander can either: 1.) thank her again but suggest catching up on this later; 2.) wordlessly take her hand; 3.) stay close without taking her hand, and remain to watch the stars in quiet contentment together.

In Act 3 a random post-camping scene will trigger. One morning, while the entire party is gathering up their things and preparing to set off once again, the Commander will note that Nortelania is nowhere to be found, to which one of the companions will reply that they saw her hurry towards the tree copse / other room (depending on where the camp takes place) in a manner that suggested she wanted to be alone. If the Commander decides to pursue this further, they can go looking for her and eventually find her hiding away, nervously glancing about and trying to comb out a nest of tangled hair. Upon seeing the Commander, she will awkwardly state that she had a hard time falling asleep and kept tossing around, which resulted in the mess on her head. She will comment that her wanting to do this in private must be a family thing – neither one of her parents walked around with loose hair around people that were not part of the family. The Commander can then ask whether their presence makes her uncomfortable and if they should leave, but she will respond with the action of taking hold of their wrist and asking them to stay while she does the entire routine if they so wish. The Commander can either laugh it off and confess that this feels too personal before taking their leave, stay to either watch her silently, or suggest to help her. If the last option is chosen, she will agree to allow the Commander to brush out the tangled mess on her head after some hesitation, and will soon become more visibly relaxed, fully trusting them with this task.

Shortly before the party’s descent to the Midnight Fane she will approach the Commander and pull them aside in order to gift them an item of her own creation. She will offer a kind of protection charm made from ornate silk depicting traditional elven patterns stitched by hand, and containing a small circle-shaped wooden plaque with a prayer to Sarenrae – thus combining to things that are important to her identity and sharing them with the Commander. The charm itself provides a +5 bonus to all skill checks as well as a +2 to saving throws. She will linger near the Commander for a while and, seemingly after steeling her nerves, she will take both of the Commander’s hands in hers (kneeling before doing so if they are small) and pause, seemingly at a loss for what to do next, though looking at them imploringly. The Commander can then thank her for the gift and either pull away (which will end the romance, though she will want them to keep the charm regardless) or lean in to kiss her lightly.  When it ends, she will take the Commander’s hands and say that, even though she is feeling nervous like never before, she will give her all to protect them in the journey ahead.

In Act 4 she will approach the Commander on the Nexus with a rather anxious look on her face, asking for a quiet moment away from curious eyes. The two will walk side by side for a while as she clearly needs to gather up her courage to say something. She will suggest sitting comfortably on a fallen tree, and then finally, she will awkwardly confess that watching the succubi and other demons with similar purposes, and observing their ways of expression and behaviour, while perturbing, also causes her to feel anxious about her own inability to offer gratification of that nature. The Commander can then express their confusion as to what that means, and she will explain that while she is fond of the Commander, she is not interested in ever taking the relationship to a sexual level. She will further say that she does not want to find herself cornered into a situation that she will not be able to manage, and she does not wish to lead the other person on, making them think that she will eventually want a relationship that follows the traditionally expected script. But she will also admit to being selfish by delaying this conversation, even though she did so only because she was entirely too happy to spend time with the Commander and wanted the illusion to last for a bit longer. She will apologise for not bringing this up sooner and will await the Commander’s response. Upon hearing this revelation, the Commander can express their thoughts in a couple of ways: 1.) with understanding, though not without a tinge of regret about having to end the relationship due to incompatible desires. 2.) angrily and upset about her wasting much of their time before mustering up the courage to explain how she views intimacy of a more physical nature 3.) state that, while surprised, they value her honesty and, even though they may not fully understand her circumstances, they would rather have her in their life on her own terms, rather than not have her at all. 4.) let out a relieved breath and explain that they have always felt the same about physical intimacy, and are incredibly relieved and delighted to try and make the relationship flourish on their own terms. If either the first or second replies are picked, she will listen to the Commander patiently, apologise for wasting their time once more, and express the hope that they will emerge victorious by the crusade’s end and find someone to appreciate them as fully as they themselves wish. She will then take her leave to spend some time by herself in order to collect her thoughts. She will initially not believe the Commander if the third or fourth options are chosen, and will ask for further reassurance, upon hearing which she will simply nod, becoming incapable of speech due to tears inexplicably welling up in her eyes. The Commander will have the option to let her cry without disturbing her, silently run small circles over her back, or wipe the tears away from her face. In any case, after calming down, she will take the Commander’s hands into her own, brushing soft kisses over their knuckles before flipping them over and leaving a lingering kiss on each of their palms. She will say that the Commander has a beautiful soul, and she wants to keep getting to know the person that they truly are, beyond the titles and the stories, for as long as she can, now that no secrets are there to create any obstacles between them. With a soft and contented sigh, she will curl closer against the Commander / pull them closer to her side if the are small, saying that she expects being with them like this will always make her feel both joyful and safe, and hopes that her presence will offer the same comfort to the Commander. 

Depending on whether they had the Act 4 conversation before or after the Battlebliss Arena, the scene will have some differences. If they did not go through the dialogue options yet, she will take a step toward the Commander and look them over with an expression of concern on her face, lightly touching their shoulder or kneeling down before doing so if there is a noticeable size difference between the two before looking the Commander over for injuries and signs of stress. The conversation will have the same main beats if the two had the romance conversation prior to the abduction, but she will be more open with expressing her relief at seeing the Commander through physical actions – she will rush to the Commander’s side and wrap her arms around them (lifting them up if they are small), almost laughing in relief and prompting surprised looks from the other companions before looking the Commander over for injuries and signs of stress.

In Act 5, the Commander will now be able to invite her to spend time with them, though the romance itself will not progress until the completion of her quest. After the completion of her quest she will ask to visit them in their room with the intention of once again thanking them for resolving the situation with her former mentor. She will confess that, if it weren’t for the Commander staying at her side throughout the entire ordeal, she would have been very tempted to just leave the situation behind her, but that would have meant having to deal with her growing inner doubts in ways she would not have had the courage to explore alone. She will also ask how the Commander is feeling and, even if they reassure her that they are ready to face whatever dangers await them ahead, she will take their hands  into her own and say that, even though she does not know what the future will hold for either of them, she will not give up on the Commander and will still be there should they decide to lay down their burdens. If the Commander is either on the Angel, Azata, Dragon or Legend paths, she will also comment that they have managed to keep their inner light burning despite the hardships that befell upon them. She will suddenly turn silent for a bit before facing the Commander and nearly blurting out that she dearly wants to tell them something, but is a little unsure of how to do so. After some prompting, she will become lost in thought again, seemingly running over the hypothetical options in her head, before finally settling on the perfect solution and saying that she wants the Commander to turn around so that their back is facing her. She will shift to sit more comfortably and in a mere moment afterwards the Commander will feel her warm breath as she murmurs something in between their shoulder blades. She will pull away after saying the short phrase, but will not allow the Commander to turn around just yet, instead tracing what seems to be elaborate letters into their back before asking whether they understood what she said. To this, the Commander can either: 1.) smile and say that they love her, too; 2.) take her hand and trace the words “I love you” on the inside of her hand; 3.) say that they understood, but would still like to hear her say the words aloud; 4.) laugh and say that she will have to try again because they were too focused on the tickling sensation. Whichever reply they chose, she will smile and lean in to hug them before saying the “I love you” in full, and confessing that the phrase seems a bit odd coming from her mouth because she had never expected to have the chance to say them so openly and sincerely. She will repeat the words several times as if trying to decide how it makes her feel, all the while planting small kisses on the Commander’s hands, cheeks, forehead and so forth. Satisfied, she will look at their face intently, almost with the intention of memorising even its smallest creases and imperfections. She will cup their cheek and say almost wistfully that she would like nothing more than to simply spend time in their company and away from all and everyone else, though she is aware that the world needs saving. The Commander will have the option to ask her to stay longer, stating that they both deserve a little rest – after all, they did manage to get farther and faster than any crusaders before them. She will readily agree if she was pushed towards intuition as part of her quest, with further options to either go for a walk around Drezen, have her read aloud a book of the Commander’s choosing, or simply lie next to each other and cuddle. However, if she is now more stringent, she will say a bit regretfully that the world doesn’t stop for anyone, and both she and the Commander are needed elsewhere, though she will kiss them again and say that she will treasure this and every moment they share together until their next opportunity to have a quiet moment.

What would their ending slides be like? These are related to the end states of her personal quest. Perhaps I will write in the Ascension and Aeon endings later, because currently the word count is getting a bit out of hand.

If she is pushed towards trusting her intuition: she will stay in Drezen for several months even if the Commander decided against staying there after the war – both out of a sense of duty, and as a way of showing her gratitude and support to the Commander by taking the time to help with restoration efforts. Eventually, she will head off to continue her exploration of the various regions, helping people along the way and making sure to find the time to visit her parents in Kyonin eventually, exchanging meaningful letters in the meantime. The people she meets in her travels note the elven woman’s patience and kindness, but also her certainty and a quiet inner strength. If romanced, she and the Commander are often seen together – enjoying the time spent in each other’s company, creating many memories together, sharing their experiences and learning new things, and simply allowing their love to grow deeper in ways unique to only them. 

If she is pushed towards stringency: after the war she will stay for as long as the Commander deems necessary, or of her own volition if they decided against staying with the crusaders in order to help with reconstruction efforts by keeping the crusaders in line and reminding them of their duty. Even though she manages to grow to be more assertive over the course of her journey in the Worldwound, many notice that, while still reliable and willing to offer a helping hand, she is less prone to focus on the emotional side of things, instead wanting to put everything into neat boxes and being in many ways inflexible, thus frustrating those around her. She makes a mental note to visit her parents, though for now she is content to resume their familial relationship by way of letters. If romanced, she will schedule her activities in a way that allows her to see the Commander for at least a couple of hours per day, if they are near. During those moments, she never stops inventing new ways to improve the Commander’s life and makes sure they are well-cared for in her company. When they are apart, she sends trinkets that she wants the Commander to enjoy, and writes letters in which she expresses her love for the Commander in a way that reveals a soft side of her that nobody else ever sees, though not without firmly reminding them to stay vigilant in their travels.

If her quest is abandoned: feeling the need to come to terms with her inability to make assured choices in life, she will gather up her belongings and set out once more some time after the war (before the war ended if the Commander sold out the Nightingale in Act 3) – offering her services to all who require assistance, exploring and hoping to find inner peace. Eventually, becoming more and more frustrated with her own indecisive and often self-pitying behaviour, she will begin looking into increasingly dangerous job offers and journeys, perhaps with the desire to prove something to herself. On one such expedition in the Osirian desert she will get caught in a sand storm, suffocating from the dust gathered up in her lungs.

Any other fun facts? 

She stands at exactly 195 centimetres. She enjoys both simple and elaborate soup dishes, though out of the available recipes she largely prefers the Creme Soup With a Snout (a favourite she shares with Ember). Additionally, she greatly enjoys the Blazing Parfait due to having a bit of a sweet tooth. Both of these provide a 1d6 damage bonus to sneak attack. Her monkey familiar is named Pebbleseeker or Pebbles for short. Her speaking voice has calm quality that sometimes teeters on the edge of pedantic due to her unique use of prosody and a refusal to use contractions in her speech (something close to a young Emma Thompson, perhaps).

Provide some dialogue/bark examples!

Dialogue start: Upon seeing you approach, the elven woman whispers to the oddly coloured creature at her feet, prompting the familiar to swiftly find its perch on her shoulder, and draws herself to her full height. “Commander,” she says. “You wish to converse?” Dialogue end: “Until next time, then.” She nods politely and turns her attention back to the monkey, fishing out a dried fruit from her pocket and passing it to the familiar. Combat: “Sarenrae, grant me courage” / “Stay back, you filth” Selection: “I shall endeavour to do my best” / “Stay vigilant, these lands are treacherous” / (will let out a small chuckle if romanced) Losing health: “I am in need of assistance” / “We should have planned more thoroughly” Ability Check:  (success) “A job well done, if I should say so myself” / “There! I believe the saying is easy as pie” / (failure)  ”Perhaps I could try again” / “Oh, for crying out loud” Stealth mode: “Ah, my speciality” / “Patient, now”

Provide some examples of companion banters! 

(image credit)

Again, being a professional non-writer, I do not think that I have a firm enough grasp on the companion’s personalities to do them justice in written form, so... I am skipping this one for fear of mischaracterising them.

[khalesci]

♛ ⊱ @perzyr ⊱ An Extremely Self-Indulgent Meme

ㅤㅤㅤIT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE THE QUEEN OF MEEREEN HAS FELT SO VULNERABLE. Dany had found power, and power is a shield better than any other. A shield good enough that it can make one forget their own mortality. How easy it would be to die. Her people love her, yes, but you don't get to be in Daenerys' position in the manner she did without creating a plethora of enemies. Some that have now grown bold enough to strike.

ㅤㅤㅤOne would think she would be safe in her own chambers, walking along a balcony too high for any man to reach, loyal unsullied guards patrolling not far from her door and a lover sure to enter within the hour. That is certainly what Daenerys thought, wistful stare making shapes in the stars. She does not notice the hooks twisted around stone railing, nor the men using the attached ropes to scale the pyramid. Dany hasn't the time to scream as a hand clamps over her mouth. It takes all her strength to fight against them and stop herself from being tossed over the balcony rails, limbs wrapping through gaps in the structure, rough stone abrasive as it tears against the soft skin of her inner arms and her palms.

ㅤㅤㅤHe appears before her then, as if somehow she had called him; a great black shadow that captures her would-be assassins between tooth and nail. The savage sight as they are rent and burned does not reach her through her shock. Once a calm has fallen, she rushes to her child , burying her face into his scaly neck, the terror of her near-death outweighing whatever fear she might have of unpredictable Drogon. ❝ Iksā ñuha kaerīnio, Drōgon. ❞ Dany can hear a rush of footsteps in the hall, and she knows that others must have heard Drogon's arrival and are responding to the sound of conflict, but she pays no mind to those who have not yet entered, only the dragon at her side, to whom she speaks as if he might somehow understand her feelings if not her words. ❝ Gōntan pōnta ōdrikagon ao ? ❞

[bagitmastidian]

The Beginning; The End. Loneliness; Isolation

I live inside my thoughts. The world is how I perceive it to be. I'm just like everyone else. We are all one being. We live throughout time. Time is a dimension like the other dimensions. It branches out along a path. Just like a line from point A to point B. Time is just another line. Our lives follow along that path. There are dimensions beyond time. Branching out. Every possibility may very well be real. This existence is perceived to be linear, but it is not. What was, will be, always is. We just live our lives linearly.

The entire substance of our existence is confined within this linear path. The immediate present is our point on the graph; the most important part of consciousness. The past will always be known; if we choose to look. The future is unclear, but our minds will change it.

The present is a gift. It's why we call it the present. The gift that keeps on giving; like the herpes meme. It is the most important of all things. It is where our minds and bodies intersect with reality. It is where all important things happen. It is where our conscious minds interact with existence. It is where things are accomplished. The place in which minds will alter the past and the future. Choice lies within this space. Do I express my self in a certain manner? What will the result be? Do, or do not. Change my future and change my past?

Choices are mostly an illusion. It is a complex illusion adhering to cause and effect. I was born. I was a child. I was raised in a certain manner. I have no control over this. This is what created my self consciousness. I became self aware. Only momentarily. Over the span of my lifetime. Brief moments of clarity. Clarity was when I had a real choice; do this, or do that. When I understood my past, and understood my future. That is when I was in control. I knew what came before, and I knew what could be. So I chose.

I would like to think my choices have been good. I made decisions based on kindness and strength. On fatigue, and weakness. Selfishness or selflessness. Always thinking of the others. Their pain, their pleasure. How to succeed for the good of all. How will I be judged by time? I understand more than most, therefore my decisions are more impactful. The ignorant cannot be judged. The wise must be held responsible. The ones who truly understand the past and future are cursed. Ignorance is bliss. The abyss stares back into you. What have I done, my sweetest friend?

If I knew it all and was afraid to speak out. Does this make me guilty? Thought crimes. Those silent wise. Or am I only human. Wise enough to fear. Don't interfere. It won't matter. Simply make my own choices. Observe, and respond. Expression is meaningless. The ignorant will behave according to what motivates them. Cause and effect. Wisdom and ignorance.

Acceptance, or isolation. My mind was close with another for a time. We understood each other, or thought we understood. This connection disintegrated. Destroyed by existence. Love; lost. I was lonely before; but now I'm isolated. I didn't understand my isolation until I truly lost the bond. It is a wonderful feeling to connect with a mind; and a truly horrible feeling to have lost it. The experience is exhilarating. The grief is agony.

I wish either of us had died. Death is more preferable to betrayal. Losing a mind to our mutual fate is inevitable. Losing a connected mind due to mistrust is perceived as controllable. Knowing that my choices may be able to change our fate is unbearable. If I could say one thing, or do one thing, and their mind will choose to trust again. Maybe if I did that, or do this, maybe, maybe. Maybe I will be close again. Accepting there is nothing I can do is a terrible burden. Knowing I can do something now; but not later. This is what rips apart my mind and heart.

Waiting for the opportunity to pass me by. Wisdom regarding the past, intuition regarding the future; choices ever present. As time progresses the choice inevitably fades. When the choice is lost it will change into regret.

Regret can create despair. Regret is about missed opportunities. Choosing to lose someone you love, who loves you, until you both are unable to make that choice anymore; this is despair. Isolation. Grief. Shame.

Time is terror for the wise.

[apprenticesofdeweyhigh]

Preparing a new Stand-Up-Set I wanted to go in the end a little deeper into perceptions of masculinity within social structures, especially with the current situation in Iran where people stand up against a system – a fight I have a lot of respect for.

Meme-culture is often (albeit not only) used for funny stuff – also on this channel. So I wanted to go beyond the funny part like within my comedy-gig and todays post is about that.

Leaving the field of jokes the last part of my set is starting from the perspective of hiding women through shrouds, aggreeing with it on purpose (pronouncing that this is the starting point, leaving all more important true reasons of maintaining power in a current system based on certain principles aside). Based on the idea of hiding women by shrouds, we can extend this hiding to an eradication of the female body. One reason given sometimes is the allure of the last. And yes: with this point I can aggree. A womens body can be alluring. It can be freigthening, because sexuality is something bigger than we are. Often sexuality is considered as something either dangerous or astnonishingly beautiful, a big promise. But it has a quite dark side, too, when we get lost or hurt by our longings. It might be rare, but then there is a gravitation which only allows to fall, but often the distance is so large we just fall.

In "Hate" Loyle Carner raps "I fear women/I fear love, religion/I fear drugs, the feeling/I fear us", queueing up the topic of sexuality into the big questions of humanity: The force of love, of spirtitual drive, of psychedelic experience as well as addiction and in the end the biggest incomprehension of all: The one about ourselfes, which embraces all thinkable questions. What Loyle does is expressing his fear, formulating it and therefore getting close to what we can call truth.

Truth is a big term and on purpose I wrote "what we can call truth", as within our perception truth is an estimation, a possible contradiction. It is a belief in something beyond, in a ground we can found our existence on, our thinking, the behaviour of our bodies. In the bible it says "The truth will make you free". What it liberates from are illusions. But while liberation might be associated with relief, truth is a burden too. Life can be unbelieveably beautiful, but it is at the same time point a force which entrains us. Loyle is able to look into the eye of life and within all his weakness he holds the gaze of it.

On the other side a system which discriminates women like in Iran is not able to do so. They execute force of a certain kind like physical as well as psychological violence, but are afraid of another force, the force of sexuality. This leads to a contradictory system, where women are slated and exploited, where sexuality is lived within rape and abuse of power.

Within their system but also in other societies all over the world, including most likely our own, maleness is associated with strength. But what is virility? I don't know what menhood is, what womenhood is, at least not with a view to the charackter and behaviour. But I see strength in human being kind, being strong in a way to live the life with all its hardness without seeking refugee in illusions.

While their strength results in weakness, Loyles weakness leads to strength.

[uhtredxbebbanburg]

ＴＡＧＳ

( ╳┊❝ Happy Tag: Every Lord is the hero of his own songs ❞. )

( ╳┊❝ Wishlist: If your God’s with you, you’re a lucky man ❞. )

( ╳┊❝ Wanted Ship: The truth of a man lies not in the land of his birth, but in his heart ❞. )

( ╳┊❝ Queue: The future is fate, it won’t change ❞. )

( ╳┊❝ Memes: Fear is within all of us. As is strength ❞. )

( ╳┊❝ OOC: A king must decide who he can trust, and who he must discard ❞. )

( ╳┊❝ Muses:  Courage is finding the will to overcome your fear, nothing more ❞. )

[qqueenofhades]

Re: the post you reblogged about Bush. I'm 21 and tbh feel like I can only vote for Bernie, can you explain if/why I shouldn't? Thanks and sorry if this is dumb or anything.

Oh boy. Okay, I’ll do my best here. Note that a) this will get long, and b) I’m old, Tired, and I‘m pretty sure my brain tried to kill me last night. Since by nature I am sure I will say something Controversial ™, if anyone reads this and feels a deep urge to inform me that I am Wrong, just… mark it down as me being Wrong and move on with your life. But also, really, you should read this and hopefully think about it. Because while I’m glad you asked this question, it feels like there’s a lot in your cohort who won’t, and that worries me. A lot.

First, not to sound utterly old-woman-in-a-rocking-chair ancient, people who came of age/are only old enough to have Obama be the first president that they really remember have no idea how good they had it. The world was falling the fuck apart in 2008 (not coincidentally, after 8 years of Bush). We came within a flicker of the permanent collapse of the global economy. The War on Terror was in full roar, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were at their height, we had Dick Cheney as the cartoon supervillain before we had any of Trump’s cohort, and this was before Chelsea Manning or Edward Snowden had exposed the extent of NSA/CIA intelligence-gathering/American excesses or there was any kind of public debate around the fact that we were all surveilled all the time. And the fact that a brown guy named Barack Hussein Obama was elected in this climate seems, and still seems tbh, kind of amazing. And Obama was certainly not a Perfect President ™. He had to scale back a lot of planned initiatives, he is notorious for expanding the drone strike/extrajudicial assassination program, he still subscribed to the overall principles of neoliberalism and American exceptionalism, etc etc. There is valid criticism to be made as to how the hopey-changey optimistic rhetoric stacked up against the hard realities of political office. And yet…. at this point, given what we’re seeing from the White House on a daily basis, the depth of the parallel universe/double standards is absurd.

Because here’s the thing. Obama, his entire family, and his entire administration had to be personally/ethically flawless the whole time (and they managed that – not one scandal or arrest in eight years, against the legions of Trumpistas now being convicted) because of the absolute frothing depths of Republican hatred, racial conspiracy theories, and obstruction against him. (Remember Merrick Garland and how Mitch McConnell got away with that, and now we have Gorsuch and Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court? Because I remember that). If Obama had pulled one-tenth of the shit, one-twentieth of the shit that the Trump administration does every day, he would be gone. It also meant that people who only remember Obama think he was typical for an American president, and he wasn’t. Since about… Jimmy Carter, and definitely since Ronald Reagan, the American people have gone for the Trump model a lot more than the Obama model. Whatever your opinion on his politics or character, Obama was a constitutional law professor, a community activist, a neighborhood organizer and brilliant Ivy League intellectual who used to randomly lie awake at night thinking about income inequality. Americans don’t value intellectualism in their politicians; they just don’t. They don’t like thinking that “the elites” are smarter than them. They like the folksy populist who seems fun to have a beer with, and Reagan/Bush Senior/Clinton/Bush Junior sold this persona as hard as they possibly could. As noted in said post, Bush Junior (or Shrub as the late, great Molly Ivins memorably dubbed him) was Trump Lite but from a long-established political family who could operate like an outwardly civilized human.

The point is: when you think Obama was relatively normal (which, again, he wasn’t, for any number of reasons) and not the outlier in a much larger pattern of catastrophic damage that has been accelerated since, again, the 1980s (oh Ronnie Raygun, how you lastingly fucked us!), you miss the overall context in which this, and which Trump, happened. Like most left-wingers, I don’t agree with Obama’s recent and baffling decision to insert himself into the 2020 race and warn the Democratic candidates against being too progressive or whatever he was on about. I think he was giving into the same fear that appears to be motivating the remaining chunk of Joe Biden’s support: that middle/working-class white America won’t go for anything too wild or that might sniff of Socialism, and that Uncle Joe, recalled fondly as said folksy populist and the internet’s favorite meme grandfather from his time as VP, could pick up the votes that went to Trump last time. And that by nature, no one else can.

The underlying belief is that these white voters just can’t support anything too “un-American,” and that by pushing too hard left, Democratic candidates risk handing Trump a second term. Again: I don’t agree and I think he was mistaken in saying it. But I also can’t say that Obama of all people doesn’t know exactly the strength of the political machine operating against the Democratic Party and the progressive agenda as a whole, because he ran headfirst into it for eight years. The fact that he managed to pass any of his legislative agenda, usually before the Tea Party became a thing in 2010, is because Democrats controlled the House and Senate for the first two years of his first term. He was not perfect, but it was clear that he really did care (just look up the pictures of him with kids). He installed smart, efficient, and scandal-free people to do jobs they were qualified for. He gave us Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor to join RBG on the Supreme Court. All of this seems… like a dream.

That said: here we are in a place where Biden, Bernie Sanders, and Elizabeth Warren are the front-runners for the Democratic nomination (and apparently Pete Buttigieg is getting some airplay as a dark horse candidate, which… whatever). The appeal of Biden is discussed above, and he sure as hell is not my favored candidate (frankly, I wish he’d just quit). But Sanders and Warren are 85% - 95% similar in their policy platforms. The fact that Michael “50 Billion Dollar Fortune” Bloomberg started rattling his chains about running for president is because either a Sanders or Warren presidency terrifies the outrageously exploitative billionaire capitalist oligarchy that runs this country and has been allowed to proceed essentially however the fuck they like since… you guessed it, the 1980s, the era of voodoo economics, deregulation, and the free market above all. Warren just happens to be ten years younger than Sanders and female, and Sanders’ age is not insignificant. He’s 80 years old and just had a heart attack, and there’s still a year to go to the election. It’s also more than a little eye-rolling to describe him as the only progressive candidate in the race, when he’s an old white man (however much we like and approve of his policy positions). And here’s the thing, which I think is a big part of the reason why this polarized ideological purity internet leftist culture mistrusts Warren:

She may have changed her mind on things in the past.

Scary, right? I sound like I’m being facetious, but I’m not. An argument I had to read with my own two eyes on this godforsaken hellsite was that since Warren became a Democrat around the time Clinton signed Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, she sekritly hated gay people and might still be a corporate sellout, so on and etcetera. (And don’t even get me STARTED on the fact that DADT, coming a few years after the height of the AIDS crisis which was considered God’s Judgment of the Icky Gays, was the best Clinton could realistically hope to achieve, but this smacks of White Gay Syndrome anyway and that is a whole other kettle of fish.) Bernie has always demonstrably been a democratic socialist, and: good for him. I’m serious. But because there’s the chance that Warren might not have thought exactly as she does now at any point in her life, the hysterical and paranoid left-wing elements don’t trust that she might not still secretly do so. (Zomgz!) It’s the same element that’s feeding cancel culture and “wokeness.” Nobody can be allowed to have shifted or grown in their opinions or, like a functional, thoughtful, non-insane adult, changed their beliefs when presented with compelling evidence to the contrary. To the ideological hordes, any hint of uncertainty or past failure to completely toe the line is tantamount to heresy. Any evidence of any other belief except The Correct One means that this person is functionally as bad as Trump. And frankly, it’s only the Sanders supporters who, just as in 2016, are threatening to withhold their vote in the general election if their preferred candidate doesn’t win the primary, and indeed seem weirdly proud about it.

OK, boomer Bernie or Buster.

Here’s the thing, the thing, the thing: there is never going to be an American president free of the deeply toxic elements of American ideology. There just won’t be. This country has been built how it has for 250 years, and it’s not gonna change. You are never going to have, at least not in the current system, some dream candidate who gets up there and parrots the left-wing talking points and attacks American imperialism, exceptionalism, ravaging global capitalism, military and oil addiction, etc. They want to be elected as leader of a country that has deeply internalized and taken these things to heart for its entire existence, and most of them believe it to some degree themselves. So this groupthink white liberal mentality where the only acceptable candidate is this Perfect Non-Problematic robot who has only ever had one belief their entire lives and has never ever wavered in their devotion to doctrine has really gotten bad. The Democratic Party would be considered… maybe center/mild left in most other developed countries. It’s not even really left-wing by general standards, and Sanders and Warren are the only two candidates for the nomination who are even willing to go there and explicitly put out policy proposals that challenge the systematic structure of power, oppression, and exploitation of the late-stage capitalist 21st century. Warren has the billionaires fussed, and instead of backing down, she’s doubling down. That’s part of why they’re so scared of her. (And also misogyny, because the world is depressing like that.) She is going head-on after picking a fight with some of the worst people on the planet, who are actively killing the rest of us, and I don’t know about you, but I like that.

Of course: none of this will mean squat if she (or the eventual Democratic winner, who I will vote for regardless of who it is, but as you can probably tell, she’s my ride or die) don’t a) win the White House and then do as they promised on the campaign trail, and b) don’t have a Democratic House and Senate willing to have a backbone and pass the laws. Even Nancy Pelosi, much as she’s otherwise a badass, held off on opening a formal impeachment inquiry into Trump for months out of fear it would benefit him, until the Ukraine thing fell into everyone’s laps. The Democrats are really horrible at sticking together and voting the party line the way Republicans do consistently, because Democrats are big-tent people who like to think of themselves as accepting and tolerant of other views and unwilling to force their members’ hands. The Republicans have no such qualms (and indeed, judging by their enabling of Trump, have no qualms at all). 

The modern American Republican party has become a vehicle for no-holds-barred power for rich white men at the expense of absolutely everything and everyone else, and if your rationale is that you can’t vote for the person opposing Donald Goddamn Trump is that you’re just not vibing with them on the language of that one policy proposal… well, I’m glad that you, White Middle Class Liberal, feel relatively safe that the consequences of that decision won’t affect you personally. Even if we’re due to be out of the Paris Climate Accords one day after the 2020 election, and the issue of climate change now has the most visibility it’s ever had after years of big-business, Republican-led efforts to deny and discredit the science, hey, Secret Corporate Shill, am I right? Can’t trust ‘er. Let’s go have a craft beer.

As has been said before: vote as far left as you want in the primary. Vote your ideology, vote whatever candidate you want, because the only way to make actual, real-world change is to do that. The huge, embedded, all-consuming and horrible system in which we operate is not just going to suddenly be run by fairy dust and happy thoughts overnight. Select candidates that reflect your values exactly, be as picky and ideologically militant as you want. That’s the time to do that! Then when it comes to the general election:

America is a two-party system. It sucks, but that’s the case. Third-party votes, or refraining from voting because “it doesn’t matter” are functionally useless at best and actively harmful at worst.

Either the Democratic candidate or Donald Trump will win the 2020 election.

There is absolutely no length that the Republican/GOP machine, and its malevolent allies elsewhere, will not go to in order to secure a Trump victory. None.

Any talk whatsoever about “progressive values” or any kind of liberal activism, coupled with a course of action that increases the possibility of a Trump victory, is hypocritical at best and actively malicious at worst.

This is why I found the Democratic response to Obama’s “don’t go too wild” comments interesting. Bernie doubled down on the fact that his plans have widespread public support, and he’s right. (Frankly, the fact that Sanders and Warren are polling at the top, and the fact that they’re politicians and would not be crafting these campaign messages if they didn’t know that they were being positively received, says plenty on its own). Warren cleverly highlighted and praised Obama’s accomplishments in office (i.e. the Affordable Care Act) and didn’t say squat about whether she agreed or disagreed with him, then went right back to campaigning about why billionaires suck. And some guy named Julian Castro basically blew Obama off and claimed that “any Democrat” could beat Trump in 2020, just by nature of existing and being non-insane.

This is very dangerous! Do not be Julian Castro!

As I said in my tags on the Bush post: everyone assumed that sensible people would vote for Kerry in 2004. Guess what happened? Yeah, he got Swift Boated. The race between Obama and McCain in 2008, even after those said nightmare years of Bush, was very close until the global crash broke it open in Obama’s favor, and Sarah Palin was an actual disqualifier for a politician being brazenly incompetent and unprepared. (Then again, she was a woman from a remote backwater state, not a billionaire businessman.) In 2012, we thought Corporate MormonBot Mitt Fuggin’ Romney was somehow the worst and most dangerous candidate the Republicans could offer. In 2016, up until Election Day itself, everyone assumed that HRC was a badly flawed candidate but would win anyway. And… we saw how that worked out. Complacency is literally deadly.

I was born when Reagan was still president. I’m just old enough to remember the efforts to impeach Clinton over forcing an intern to give him a BJ in the Oval Office (This led by the same Republicans making Donald Trump into a darling of the evangelical Christian right wing.) I’m definitely old enough to remember 9/11 and how America lost its mind after that, and I remember the Bush years. And, obviously, the contrast with Obama, the swing back toward Trump, and everything that has happened since. We can’t afford to do this again. We’re hanging by a thread as it is, and not just America, but the entire planet.

So yes. By all means, vote for Sanders in the primary. Then when November 3, 2020 rolls around, if you care about literally any of this at all, hold your nose if necessary and vote straight-ticket Democrat, from the president, to the House and Senate, to the state and local offices. I cannot put it more strongly than that.

[47crayons]

THE WICKED WITHIN—A COMIC SANS WIP REINTRO

!!!!! it's here :D the wip that started to consume me and has been continuing to do so since, now with a much better sense of what exactly is Happening

current tww taglist let me know to be +/- !! @a-completely-normal-writer @writing-is-a-martial-art @wannabeauthorzofija @magic-is-something-we-create @croctears @writeblrfantasy @opes-magnas @author-a-holmes @zoya-writes@fuyugomori @ink-fireplace-coffee

transcript is under the cut!!!

[transcript: a powerpoint presentation of black text on white background, written entirely in comic sans.

start slide one the top left corner reads in red, "warnings (most relevant) war, death, drugs (& addiction), poison". in the center, "the wicked within", and underneath it in smaller font, "a comic sans reintro by @47crayons". the comments around the entire slide read "a family that is so found!!!", "gang rivalry :D and gang content in general", "crime found family basically", "childhood friends to STILL FRIENDS", "all queer cast :p", "eat the rich (not quite, but it’s the right sentiment aldskjfls)", "kickass women, yeah bay bee", "nuanced relationships between different groups :D", "morally grey characters!!!", "so many different governments!!!", "a (mostly alsjflksdj) stable relationship!!!" end slide one

start slide two in the beginning of time… there were four gods: eltenjer, he/him, earth; skari, he/him, fire; aenged, they/them, air; thilda, she/her, water. i didn’t /mean/ for them to have genders, but a quiet breeze whispered “psst. i use they/them.” in the beginning? so you mean… they’re not there anymore? kind of! the gods need followers to survive, and after several unfortunate events, they lost the majority of their followers. the aforementioned unfortunate events: the great ruination, in which natural disasters caused several years of famine and other hardship. the restoration era, in which renovation led people to believe they can live without the gods. if the gods are dead, what’s the point? the gods aren’t /really/ dead, closer to dormant. they can’t actively interact with the mortal realm, but IF they had followers, they would come back to life. oh. did i mention that they control the magic. end slide two

start slide three the dormant gods who can't do... anything control the magic??? hey, no one said magic always has to work. foreshadowing alert huge foreshadowing alert. let’s talk about how magic works, shall we :D people use the Spirit to do magic. people have a Vessel (representation of stamina or how much Sprit can be used at once, can be trained!). people also have a Strength (a type of magic that works well with the user, these have varying frequencies which also depends on location). there’s too much i could say here, but the important thing is the main characters’ Strengths. the right depicts an image of a flowchart showing that gods need followers and produce sprit. people need spirit to do magic. end slide three

start slide four okay but where are we??? where could the magic be so fucked? well, here, of course! the left side shows a line art map, split into five parts going clockwise: portingdale, worchester, the hooks, elderwood, unlabeled. the legend shows that there are mountains in portingdale, forests in elderwood, and rivers that run from portingdale to everywhere else. the place where the four labeled regions meet is called the Inner City. the text on the right reads. welcome to Kjer! there are 3 districts. but wait! there are five? sections? and one isn’t even labelled. worchester used to be a district,,, but it left after the war began. the unlabeled section is the disputed region (re: war). let’s talk more about this war. elderwood wanted easier access to water (see: the rivers in the Wetlands) elderwood & portingdale have been fighting there on and off for over half a century. the hooks has three wards: west (hella rich), south (lower income), north (somewhere in between). end slide four

start slide five whomst. skip to the next slide if you want the actual characters. character basics: the unnecessarily-winded-and-cram-a-lot-of-lore-in version. in the North Ward of The Hooks, there are three main gangs. Kaer Styen, meaning “wicked ones”, Ghetfaer Skarnen, meaning “trickster lords”, Ad Knesten, meaning “the grumbles”. that was so many capital letters i don’t like capital letters alskjdflksjd. they have rivalries and conflicts from time to time, but it’s pretty rare. the tww cast is kaer styen !!! their main means of profit is a drug called jezdin. relieves physical and mental pain. lethal in high. quantities/ when tampered with. can also be addictive. they operate out of a dingy tavern-like building, and they live upstairs!!! okay so this is purely for vibes. how did u know. end slide five

start slide six the Gang. literally :3 Kaer Styen, my beloved. the first thing in each of their bios is their Strength (re: the magic slide). artbreeders!!! i fixed quite a few of them, but my artbreeder skills are questionable at best. this slide is split into three columns. the first column shows a white person with short, brown, curly hair and a firm, but not angry, facial expression. len, he/him, pan. Shifter (can manipulate physical properties). cynical, very cynical (because he has killer instincts). “oh people are dying? am i dying? are you dying? why should i care?” in a relationship with cal. the second column shows a person who appears east asian with long, black, wavy hair and fair skin. chloe, she/her, aroace. Chemist (chemistry but magical). literal archery god. also she’s so quiet it’s SCARY. seems welcoming, emphasis on /seems/ she’ll destroy your ass. knows what you’re feeling. she just. knows. the third column shows a white person with dirty blonde hair. they are smiling. cal, they/them, bi. Whisperer (can persuade others through speech/music). so casually funny all your burdens disappear for a hot minute. gets very attached very deeply. grew up in Portingdale which becomes Important later. end slide six

start slide seven cont. also they have piercings!!!! maybe i will make some picrews later (listen, i KNOW i’ve said this before but. maybe i’m for realsies this time, okay?) this slide is also split into three columns. the first a smiling white female with light blonde hair. eden, she/her?, demi lesbian. Healer (healing magic <3). seen hell and doesn’t want others to suffer. still believes in the gods’ existence. we Don’t talk about her awful parents. raised by a lovely woman in the South Ward, known as Nana. this eye (left) is almost PURPLE which i didn’t do on purpose but is honestly such a cool idea. the second column shows a partially smiling black man with short curly hair. jereth, he/him, gay. powerful life magic thing (will be spoilers if i talk any more). joins them at the beginning. honestly kind of scared of them (who wouldn’t be), but wants to live up to expectations. throws himself into stuff to avoid Thoughts. the third column shows a woman with brown skin, black wavy hair, and a small smile. she is NOT a member of Kaer Styen, but i’m talking about her here all the same. adalaide, she/her, bi (i didn’t like the e in adelaide alskdfjlsj). Melder (metals and the like). heir to the Portingdale throne (assuming her dad doesn’t disown her). Cal’s ex from a few~ years ago she’s still a lil’ hung up on them. technically an antagonist but i love her. so all my characters are queer sue me </3 end slide seven

start slide eight some semblance of plot? coming right up!! the four (jereth isn’t there yet!) are attacked in the Inner City. turns out it’s portingdale soldiers. and then they discover that portingdale has been poisoning the southern rivers (affects worchester and the south ward) because worchester doesn’t really contribute to Kjer as a whole. word gets out, and elderwood, naturally, is even angrier at portingdale (remember, they've been at war). so, they try to stop portingdale from being power hungry enough to poison the entirety of a country while learning about why worchester is so isolated while ALSO trying not to get killed by everyone who hates them. end slide eight

start slide nine memes :> the first is the meme of spongebob reading a sheet of paper and burning it. the paper reads, "going into worchester by yourself is going to get you KILLED", and spongebob is labelled "chloe". the second is the levels of brain template labelled "jereth". from the weakest to most powerful: "trying to figure out his magic", "doing it by accident", "saving everyone's lives". the third is the sleeping person and brain meme. brain: "you're going to portingdale". cal: yeah, i know. brain: you'll see adalaide. cal's eyes are wide open in fear. the fourth says "corporate needs you to find the difference between this image and this image". the first image says, "family", and the second one says, "len, chloe, cal, jereth." eden says, "they're the same picture". the fifth is the spiderman copycat meme where jereth is copying len. end slide nine

/end transcript]

[thefanficmonster]

Rough Road

Corpse Husband x Daughter of Tupac and Selena!Reader (Female)

Warnings: Relationship Struggles, Swearing

Genre: Angst with Fluffy ending, Romance, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: A relationship between two people living two completely different lives is expected to be difficult. Him enveloped by his privacy he doesn’t want to risk losing and her with a craving for privacy she never fully gets. It has never been easy for them and it won’t get easier, but they’ve gotten stronger.

Requested by @lillypadmochi Hi dear! Thank you so much for such a creative and wonderful request, I’ve been really excited to write it and post it but I’m still very sorry for how long you’ve had to wait for it. Still, I hope you enjoy it if you happen to read it! Love, Vy ❤

She lives in the spotlight, continuing the legacy of her deceased parents - the father and mother that were taken from her so soon after she was brought into this world. She doesn’t remember either of them, and she can’t come to terms with that fact. She can’t stomach it even today, twenty-six years after the murder of her mother, Selena shook the world to its core - all just a year before the murder of her father Tupac was on the news too. Rightfully so, that’s not something you can just get over, and she’s afraid she never will. The ever-present pain follows her everywhere, giving her no relief.

But it does give her a break when she’s on stage, when she’s singing her heart out, giving her all in a performance, pouring her heart out to the people cheering, the crowd calling her name, the thousands upon thousands of voices singing along to her songs, singing alongside her like she knows her mother and father would. That’s when she feels closest to them, she feels the gentle caress of their hands on her hair or cheek, she sees their smiles and nods of approval, she hears them singing in harmony along with her. She knows, deep down she’s sure they can hear her. They can hear her songs and they couldn’t be more proud of her and how far she’s come.

The spotlight, the stage, that’s her home. Her temple of spirituality where she connects to the people she never got the time to love properly before losing them. Now she’s left loving them while surrounded by their absence, reminded that they loved her unconditionally but she never got the time to show her love for them. She never got the chance to prove to them how special they were to her. So she still, till this day, gives her all to show it and she’ll keep doing so until her forever ends. She’ll keep reminding herself that their love resides with her beyond their death and her love can still reach them on the other side.

But in order to do so, she’s gotta stay under the lights and watchful eyes of fans, paparazzi and managers. She has to give up every ounce of privacy she could ever ask for. She’s prepared to do that within a blink of an eye. She always has been.

Well, she always was. Until she met him.

He, unlike her, prefers the shadows that provide him endless privacy and solitude. He likes being detached, alone, lonesome, lonely. That’s the only way he feels safe. He trusts no one, or at least very few people. He’s afraid of what those he lets in will do to him. How they’ll react to who he really is. When they’ll leave. With the people in his life, it’s never a matter of if they leave, but when they leave. People always leave him, willingly or otherwise. And he’s grown to become numb to it. He’s grown to not give a shit anymore. Or not as much, that is. He obviously cares plenty, the darkness of his loneliness getting to him every now and then. His demons eating away at his sanity, ripping his illusion of peace to shreds. He’d be at peace if he could get along with his mind which always seems to be working against him, working to bring him down, leave him hopeless, helpless and restless.

No one’s ever understood his pain. She doesn’t either, but she at least helps soothe it.

She’s unlike anyone he’s ever met before. She has much power and strength yet is so vulnerable and fragile sometimes. Her smile shines brightly, just like the tears in her eyes when the nights get heavy. She’s his pillar and sometimes she’s the sunken boat he’s attempting to save. She’s so many things, but never too many, never too overwhelming.

Always perfectly enough for him.

And he’s unlike anyone she’s ever met before too. She’s always found herself surrounded by people who were open books, practically begging her to read them, have a look into their mind and soul. She never wanted that responsibility - the darkness of someone else’s mind is not something she can bear along with her own. But his is weirdly comforting. His darkness, she wants to get to know, to understand. She can’t see it at first glance, but she can definitely feel it. And she wants to help him with it. For the first time in her life, she’s willing to dig underneath someone’s surface to see what they’re hiding, what’s troubling them.

It’s been long since she’s cared so deeply about someone. It’s a feeling she hasn’t felt in so long and it scares her. But it still comforts her somehow, reminding her she’s not gone numb yet.

However, there’s a very fine line between them, the line separating the light from the darkness. The line between the shadows and the spotlight. The line neither of them want to cross yet they still do.

Every night they cross that line and find themselves entangled in each other’s arms, tightly holding onto one another fearing the line will reappear and separate them. The flashing of cameras and the glow of the spotlight will blind him, or the darkness will finally pollute her mind enough to break her, the shadows coming to life to torture her.

But none of that matters when they’re by each other’s side. He’ll fend the shadows off, allowing them to attack him only since he’s used to them by now. And she’ll keep the lights away from him, keep his privacy intact, keep him safe in the dark he finds so comfortable.

They’ll always keep each other safe.

“I love you, Corpse.“ She says, their foreheads touching under the glow of the moonlight seeping in through the window blinds.

“I love you too, Y/N.“ He replies, pulling her closer as their eyelids fall closed.

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[rpmemesbyarat]

RP Meme from "Chapter One: The Bad Old Days" in the Bone Gnawers book from "Werewolf: The Apocalypse" Part 1 of 2

"DAMN, IT’S COLD."

“Pass me a bottle, and I’ll tell you a story. Which one would you like?"

"First off, let’s be honest — no one really knows the ancient stories. None of us were there, so let’s not fool ourselves."

"I have spoken to the ancient gods, danced on the moon, and fully intend to save the world."

"I know what you are."

"Pass the bottle around."

"We’re all brothers here."

"Hell, I don’t even know who my ancestors are."

"I only know the here and now."

"We are the last, true generation of warriors."

"You might as well listen to the tales of the past, ’cause if you don’t understand them, you won’t have no future."

"Let me spell it out for you; I don’t care where you came from, where your ancestors came from, or who your parents were."

"You broke all your ties to the human world."

"We never made history; we just survived it."

"The strong learn to strike first. The cunning learn to let them. And even the weakest never give up."

"If you’ve lived it, you know it; charging towards the enemy with your pack surrounding you; wading through blood; feasting on the flesh of your foes; overwhelming all opposition with undeniable strength."

"As amazing as it may seem, humanity was once treated worse than we were."

"Not a bad idea, eh?"

"The same humans we thought we were protecting started to fight back."

"Long ago, the human race was worth protecting. Now, I’m not so sure."

"The idea didn’t go over that well."

"And recycle the goddamn bottle this time, all right?"

"They live near the top of society, drawn to wealth and power; we live near the bottom."

"Something wild within us could never be tamed."

"SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT"

"No wonder we’re dying out, with so many of us being damn ignorant."

"The big difference between them and us is that we’re more open-minded."

"We’re not cursed. We’re blessed."

"Who gives a fuck? The world’s dying."

"Bloodsuckers. Freaks. Leeches. Pale-skinned, night-stalking, blood-draining vampires."

"Even back then, we knew the score. People came to us for help, and when they got it, they’d casually consider fucking us over. That’s the story of our people. That’s our whole history, right there."

"We’ll squabble among ourselves when times get rough — when you can’t trust nobody but yourself — but we’ve got good reasons to be skeptical of anyone else."

"We learn to survive with almost nothing, and we learn to be cautious about trusting anyone."

"Fear not, child! We shall shelter you from the night! We shall take you in as our own, clutching you to our very bosom!"

"Gather your family about you, child, and it will keep you warm against the cold night that surrounds you."

"No more struggling to live up to your ancestors’ expectations — we have none!"

"Ours has been a long and arduous struggle, yet as we’ve marched across time, we’ve picked up a motley assortment of second-hand heroes along the way."

"From an early age, we learned where we figured in the hierarchy of dominance and submission. We were the peasants, the commoners, the rabble, the grunts, and the unwashed masses. And we still are."

"Woe and misery!"

"And think of the costumes!"

"We may look like fools, but we strive to be saviors."

"If the cities are cesspools, then they’re the scum that floats to the top. We’re the scum that sinks to the bottom. They’re drawn to wealth and power, yet we see it for the trap it is."

[galadhremmin]

BEEKEEPERS or else more tyelpegoldo/celebrimrod

(for the WIP meme)

i'm gonna share the latter because this has been in draft stage Forever. It's just a kiss scene but it's also when I discovered that even that is honestly too much for me-- I'll probably never write smut. Exceedingly awkward writing I think, but here you go.

(Beekeepers of Greater Tirion, by the way-- is based on German Beekeeping law applied to the Noldor. If an owned hive swarms and merges with another owned swarm it then belongs to both owners-- whether they like it or not! I thought it would be very funny if that was how Fingon and Maedhros met. They're very opiniated and shout about theology and politics-- Maedhros tries to change beekeeping laws in an attempt to become the owner of the entire merged swarm, Fingon talks to the bees... there are so many bees. Meanwhile in the background Findis unsuccesully (despite Yavanna's support) tries to argue that she should be queen because bees have one too)

ANYWAY, my unpublished angry Finrod/Celebrimbor kiss scene from Beneath the Green and Hollow Hill. 

-

So ye three ghosts, adieu! Ye cannot raise

My head cool-bedded in flowery grass

For I would not be dieted with praise,

A pet lamb in sentimental farce!

Excerpt from Ode to Indolence, Keats.

After a while Findaráto started talking again, his voice rendered hollow by the depths of the cave. Water dripped down the walls at a steady pace.

“I would do this for you, as much as the two of them. My heart tells me this is how this Oath should be fulfilled, and that it should be, though I know not how. Long I have known I would not leave my Kingdom to a son. But I can leave a better world to those who remain in it. For I fear I will not return, though some good must come from this.”

Moths danced past the opening above them, passing before the moon; Findaráto’s face was full of strange shadows beneath the fitful light. He seemed, somehow, already halfway out of the world; static, luminous, set in this strange light like figure of colored glass caught in heavy lead. Something about it was infuriating. The air of holiness, of distant, calculated-- blessed---something in him protested at whatever this scene was, its strangely theatrical quality, or that of a sermon perhaps. Something like the Sea rushed at him. He belatedly realised it was his own blood, churning in his ears. Suddenly he found it in himself to speak.

“Do you," Tyelperinquar began, "then seek some crucible to purify yourself in?" I have already walked through fire, and desire no more of it. I was ready to renounce my father’s very name until –you are destroying them!" The cave rang with his voice now. The echoes were given no chance to die away. Findaráto opened his mouth, but Tyelperinquar continued.

"The Oath you invoke is no equal to their own, and you well know it. There must be some other way to repay your debt, and yet you pretend at not having a choice but to follow this Aftercomer into the dark. Why?”

“If but one thread pulls itself loose from its appointed place the tapestry unravels. The springs of the Sirion still run with poison. Only Ulmo’s blessing holds their evil at bay; and do you think He will continue to hold up his hand to shelter us, should I fosake my word, my destiny? No--"

“Truly, you don’t want to save me at all, you are far too ambitious for it—you demand to save the world, and doing so would reduce us to nothing but the instruments of some High Doom. You dare to say the Oath dooms us, but hold your own! And entrap others’ besides.” Tyelperinquar cast Findaráto a dark look. His face remained still, but-- a faint tremble. “You say all that comes within the grasp of Fëanor and Fëanor’s get is crushed in vainglorious struggle with fate itself. But you foresee, yet go forth—and let the ones you love be crushed beneath its iron feet! How wrong was I too think you different from my father. Neither of you know anything of love, for all you both insist it guides you. The love that guides you both knows nothing of the frailty of the flesh, and in seeking to separate itself from its weaknesses loses all resemblance to what it pretends to perfect, leading only to destruction. Indeed thou art not a Vala to—“

The next word was muffled by Findaráto’s lips, sudden upon his own; still he tried to speak angry words into them, but their press left no room for it. There was none of the gentle radiance in this embrace, nothing of the enchantment of his long daydreams and call of the water in the cave. Hands clawed and tangled in his hair and pulled him close with surprising strength, and he could feel the sharp edges of the Nauglamir cut a ghostly crown into his chest as his voice was smothered and his breath cut off.