#((OOC) TW suicide mention)

[the-lovely-planet-earth]

//Tw suicide attempt, scroll away if you're sensitive to this topic (or if you want to avoid spoilers)

So this is an official deleted scene by solarballs. It posted on the discord server a few months ago. It was probably available on the patreon but someone probably released it to the public after moon revolution arc ended so it didnt count as a leak. Anyways the main difference in this deleted scene is that unlike the original, the sun isn't facing towards the direction of the earth and instead has his back turned towards him and hence there is no opportunity for the sun to try to talk earth out if it (in here, sun probably wasnt even aware of what was going on). And for some reason there is less distance between the sun and the earth than in the original, which gave mercury and luna time to try to stop him (luna's line "drifting you off this path" has both a literal and a metaphorical meaning). This deleted scene was probably just a "what if?" Scenario the team made for....whatever reasons there might be. Anyways I started rambling didnt I?

( @officially-taurus @bored-dromaeosaur tags)

[agent-nakuweeds]

kys for even thinking of having a character that likes dottore

cutting for those who might not want to read

Look. I won't feed into your delusions. But, I will explain why Naku exists.

Dottore is a well-fleshed out character and villain that I like. His lore is interesting, or at least the bit I do know.

Naku exists because of a fanfiction I am actively writing, where Naku is a character. Canonically, in her lore, she would know Diluc. Here, she doesn't, for ease of others, of course.

I hope you have only sent this threat to me, and not to any of the wonderful people who own Dottore and characters associated with him related blogs.

All in all, buddy, I ain’t gonna commit suicide because I run a tumblr blog.

And get creative. I got worse threats when I was a wattpad author, baby.

[kittzuxp]

Twomp oneshot i wrote cuz i was feeling miserable

on Ao3

CW: denial😔, cheating, self-destuctive thoughts and suicide

Mr plant was watching the telly, well not really, he was fidgeting with his hands while he heard the faint laugh tracks playing in the background. He was almost drifting off to sleep when the front door slammed, which shook him wide awake. He titled his head to look, it was his boyfriend, Argos! He looked like he was in a hurry, sweaty and taking big shaky breaths. His eyes filled with anger.

*[what happened?] Mr plant felt a little taken aback, Argos had never acted like this.

“You tell me!” He yelled, throwing photos on his lap. Mr plant fumbled with the photos trying to take a good look at them, and was slightly disgusted by the sight.

It was a depiction of him, holding someone else’s hands and looking at them with the same passion and warmth he looked at his beloved. The person’s face was obscured but some leaves of a tree in the foreground. The setting seemed to be at midnight, a single street lamp illuminating him and the other silhouette. The photo seemed to have been taken at a higher perspective, like a window from the second floor of a house.

The other photos were about the same, but the positions were slightly different. mr plant started feeling uneasy, he had never done this with anyone, nor does he remember this happening.

Mr plant felt uneasy, he knew where this was going, he had seen enough romance shows to know what usually happens.

*[Where did you find the photo?]

“It doesn’t matter! That’s you in the pictures, right?”

*[No! I would never cheat on you.]

“Don’t lie to me! It’s definitely you!” Argos sounded tired, but also hurt. So so so hurt.

*[Where did you find this?! Who gave this to you?] He stood up, towering over Argos by a few inches, and grabbed his forearm. Argos winced and looked at Mr plant in the eyes.

“Why does that matter! It’s none of your business!” He insisted and shook his arm, making Mr plant let go of his powerful grip.

*[It IS my business if I’m the one being photographed!] Mr plant didn’t understand why Argos refused to tell him.

“I- uhm.. UGHH!! When were you planning on telling me this?!” His eyes started tearing up from frustration. Mr plant hurt to see him like this, he reached out his lanky hand to Argos’ cheek to wipe the tears. Argos’ eyes wandered on Mr plant’s face after looking away and slapping Mr plant’s hand away.

“Don’t touch me.” He muttered. Mr plant was hurt by this, but obeyed.

After what felt like an eternity of silence, Argos spoke up. Mr plant didn’t have time to think, his mind didn’t have enough time to race.

“We, should break up… this relationship. If you’re going to be dishonest.” He said again, with a firm and slightly louder voice.

“…I think..” he sighed and looked at him, “Look, I think this won’t work.”

Mr plant titled his head. Surely he misheard Argos. He hummed questioningly and brought his ear closer to Argos’ mouth.

*[hmm?] Mr plant sounded again, putting his ear closer to Argos. Surely he wasn’t hearing this.

“Mr plant. I’m Breaking up with you.” He really hadn’t misheard it. His face was turned from Argos’ so neither of them could see each other’s faces. Mr plant’s grin widened, his tears flowing hot down his cheeks. He quickly wiped them, leaving an ugly smudge on his face. He turned his face, a crying Argos was there, trying to look as if his own words weren’t affecting him and holding back.

*[You’d really rather believe some photographs than me..?] Argos was quiet, his two big eyes avoiding Mr plant, his other, smaller ones were looking right at him.

———

As soon as he had come, he had left. and Mr plant was alone.

He was too alone, so alone. He sat on his couch and waited. He waited for Argos to come back from work, like he usually did.

The hours passed, Argos didn’t come. But he waited like he always did. He never moved an inch. Soon, 2 days had passed when Mr Plant realised he wasn’t going to come back, come back home. Not HIS home anyways.

What even was he without Argos? Argos was always a very distinguishable person. But all Mr plant was was a cold monster who tried to feel human emotions and failed. He didn’t have a distinct personality nor a unique trait that made him his own person.

He was just a mutated flower from a foreign void. This wasn’t meant to happen to him. Everything that had happen. He was mad at himself, he was mad at Argos but also wasn’t.

Not even once did he think to comfort himself through this. He only blamed himself, it wasn’t Argos’ fault, he only believed at what he saw.

There were too many thoughts racing in his mind, too many for him. He thought his head might explode with how much thoughts he was having. Too many, So so many...

Your fault

your fault

your fault

His hands gripped tighter against his throat. His breaths were beginning to cut short.

YOUR FAULT

YOUR FAULT

YOUR FAULT

YOUR FAULT

YOUR FAULT

YOURFAULT

YOUR-

He gripped tighter.

His vision began to grow faint and his thoughts started to drown out. His Head started to hurt in a good way, a comfortable way that didn’t hurt at all.

He gripped as tight as possible.

He was not longer breathing, gasping for air that wouldn’t reach his lungs. The only thing in his mind were the gasps and yelps. He tried to shut them up too.

After a bit his feet gave up, he fell down and closed his eyes.

“Goodbye Argos, I love you..” He knew nobody would hear that, and took his final rest.

[advertisesouls]

[ @praeteritus-memories || plotted starter! ]

They say that soulmates can sense when their other half is no longer a part of this world.

Perhaps that's why, as she was preparing yet another delicious meal for them (with a special portion of their latest victim mixed in for good measure), all she could feel is a suffocating grip around her heart that causes the plate in her hand to drop and shatter to the floor beneath her and her knees to give out from underneath her. Dread shortly sets in as well, wrapping around her tightly like an unwelcome embrace from her worst enemy. This is something that she hasn't experienced at all, and for all of these emotions to be surging forth at once is completely overwhelming, almost to the point where she can barely even think.

No, this couldn't be it, could it—? Had their luck finally run out...?

What other explanation could there possibly be, though? Alastor hadn't returned home when he said he would, and while she assumed he'd be home soon, it's never been like this.

Hesitantly, and uncaring for the ceramic shards, she crawled over to the nearest window just to glimpse out of it. In the distance, she could see flashes of light peek out from the trees along with the sounds of dogs barking in the distance.

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck—

Scrambling back up to her feet, she dashes over to Alastor's gun cabinet to retrieve a shotgun and—

The last thing she remembers is after telling Alastor that she loved him that she'd see his murderers in Hell, then she pulled the trigger, and...

And then there was nothing for a long time. Had she somehow entered the cycle of reincarnation, even with her list of horrific deeds behind her? (That was something she would laugh at, especially since she knew her soul was too far gone already.)

Maybe that's why her head feels like it's been filled with rocks and her body weighed with lead. A single crimson iris opens to a sky painted blood red and that's when both of her eyes shoot open and she sits up, though her weight feels... off somehow. Her back's aching, almost as if it's on fire until she reaches behind her, talons brushing against her feathers and it's then that all too familiar feeling of dread starts to set in again.

Hurriedly getting to her feet, even with stumbling a few times due to needing to get used to the fact that overall weight and physiology has changed considerably, she races over to the nearest reflective surface—a destroyed storefront's glass window to look herself over. What was once long raven hair, round hazel hues, and beige-colored skin has now changed into a deep scarlet overall along with oranges and yellows mixed within, akin to that of the legendary phoenix from the myths she'd hear as a child. Along with that is a set of haunting ruby irises, devoid of pupils.

Just... just what is she? Was this the Hell she knew she was destined for all along?

But then, as much as they teased the other about it, where is Alastor? Is he here, too? Or, if in a cruel twist of fate, was he the one sent to Heaven while she languished in Hell?

The Gods, if she even still believed in them at this point, would be that cruel to do that.

Though, it's not like she can ruminate any further on that as she can hear the sound of something behind her, which causes her to clumsily grab at a snapped pole, itself clattering to the ground beneath her as she's not used to her talons quite yet.

Well, shit. Maybe she can run—? (Oh, and make herself look like a fool in the process, too, what with needing to support herself against the wall right now.)

Either way, whatever kind of hell this was, she could still fight to live another day, and as she pushes off the wall, she nearly trips over her own feet before trying to run to whatever resembled safety.

...That is if there is any safety to be had in a place like this.

[thementallyillapollochild]

HEY GUYS!!! so uhm km busy tmr yknow living in America and being American on 4th July kinda does that to you

Aldo I'm walking for an hour in 80 degrees wtf I'm gonna kms ughhhhhh

:((((((

I hate heat 😔😭

[vox-tv-demon]

// ...hey. so. I wanted to address something that I've just been sent.

I was sent this ^

And the anon responded with this ^.

...please don't send me things like this. I am a genuinely suicidal person, and believe me, I take things like this to heart really easily. Please, please do not tell me things like this.

...I'm gonna be going offline for a bit. //

[piers-official]

//OOC Post

//Y'all. Do I REALLY got to say this?

//Do not send this blog or any of my blogs, asks about wanting to die.

//I am earnestly sorry about your situation, I suffer from depression too, and I understand, but this is an RP blog, not a crisis hotline (which you should be able to google).

//Wether it's IC or OOC, Do not send me or anyone else, su*cidal messages/asks/replies.

//I dont want to hear your reasoning or excuses, its going to be an instant block from me if any of you do this.

//I cannot fucking believe this has to be said, like seriously??? Holy shit y'all.

[ask-dadpleasant]

//btw mutant unpleasant is now askable bc he might mutate randomly but it depends on whether or not I feel evil today ok BYE//

[fandomwe1rd0]

TW SUIC*DE JOKE UNDER THE CUT

Monika: You really left Sayori... hanging the other day.

Player: ...

Monika: Get it? Do you get it? Because she hun-

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

TW: mentions of blood/bodily harm

The following is a transcript between Thatcher Davis and [REDACTED] Heathcliff, recorded on September 22nd, 1992 on Heathcliff’s account of the recent disappearances of Mark Heathcliff and Cesar Torres. It is to be noted that Heathcliff has chosen to stay anonymous to the public, requesting to have her name censored on all public documentations of this event outside of classified MCPD files. Interview goes as follows:

[DAVIS BEGINS RECORDING, AUDIBLY SIGHS.]

Davis: State your name for the record.

Heathcliff: [REDACTED] Heathcliff.

Davis: Do you know why you’re here today?

Heathcliff: It’s…because of my son, isn’t it…

[ANONYMOUS OFFICER IN THE ROOM SPEAKS]: I’m sure you’re aware of his recent disappearance, along with his friend, correct?

[HEATHCLIFF REMAINS SILENT.]

[NAME REDACTED]: Do you know of anything that might’ve…gone wrong between them, Miss Heathcliff?

Heathcliff: They…they were best friends, Mark…he…didn’t have many people like that; Cesar was like…a brother to him.

Davis: He was at the Torres household a few nights before Cesar’s disappearance, correct?

Heathcliff: I believe so.

Davis: Do you know why?

Heathcliff: It was a visit…staying the night.

Davis: Visiting…for what reason?

Heathcliff:…He…mentioned that he wanted to talk to Cesar. He didn’t say what he wanted to talk to him about.

[DAVIS WRITES ANSWERS DOWN. OFFICER IN THE ROOM SPEAKS]

[REDACTED]: You mentioned that your son has been acting…strangely, correct?

Heathcliff: Yes…but…not violent.

[REDACTED]: I wasn’t implying he was. Why do you mention that?

Davis: I can take care of this myself, [REDACTED].

Heathcliff: I-I don’t know, he just…felt…I don’t know.

Davis: Can you describe these behaviors?

[HEATHCLIFF REMAINS SILENT FOR AROUND FIVE SECONDS, PRESUMABLY THINKING.]

Heathcliff: He…seemed more distant; more than usual.

[REDACTED]: Do you believe it has to do with his diagnose?

Heathcliff: He…never acted that way before. He liked staying in his room and kept to himself but…it almost seemed like he was…avoiding everyone, even his sister. Though, I don’t…think his depression had to do with it.

Davis: Is there anything else you’d like to mention, regarding these changes in behavior?

Heathcliff:…He started…sleepwalking. Knocking on his sister’s door and…talking, though I never knew what he was saying.

[DAVIS SIGHS AND SLIDES NOTEBOOK TOWARDS HEATHCLIFF]

Davis: This seemed to have belonged to Mark, is that correct?

Heathcliff: Yes. He liked writing in a journal…it was a suggestion by his therapist.

[DAVIS GOES TO SPEAK BUT IS INTERRUPTED.]

[REDACTED]: There are multiple entries inside that imply that he and Torres’s friendship was starting to become potentially toxic. Were you aware of this?

Heathcliff: N…no.

[REDACTED]: Ma’am, it seems that…Mark had…been feeling bitter towards Cesar shortly before his disappearance, stating things like “he won’t listen to me” or “he’s ignoring me” and similar things.

[HEATHCLIFF APPEARS WORRIED, AND REMAINS SILENT.]

[REDACTED]: If you don’t mind me asking…was Mark a particularly…violent person?

Heathcliff: He…n-no, he wasn’t. He…got into a few fights at school, but he wasn’t naturally violent or-

[REDACTED]: Ma’am, that could be a sign of an underlying problem. You mentioned on his report that he had problems regulating his emotions, including anger. It could be possible that he was particularly angry at Cesar that night, the night the supposed visit took place.

Heathcliff: My son is not a murderer. I came here hoping that you could stop all the rumors going around town that my son is some sort of…twisted psychopath. Do you know how many calls I get, yelling at me about how my son killed one of the most popular kids in school?

[REDACTED]: Now, I’m not making any conclusions, I’m simply stating that…it’s certainly possible.

Davis: I’ll take care of this myself, [REDACTED]. You’re free to leave.

[REDACTED]:…Lieutenant, I must-

Davis: That is an order.

[OFFICER LEAVES THE ROOM, SHUTTING DOOR BEHIND HIM.]

Davis: Apologies…as I was saying, your son—

Heathcliff: It doesn’t matter what I say, does it?

Davis: Pardon?

Heathcliff: No matter what, you’re going to…pin all of this on Mark, aren’t you?

[HEATHCLIFF APPEARS TO BE HOLDING BACK TEARS.]

Davis:…No. Not enough evidence to pin anything on anyone. Your son is not being accused of anything…I’ll make sure of that.

Heathcliff: Your friend seems to disagree…

Davis: Are there…any…particular events you’d like to mention before we wrap our conversation up?

[HEATHCLIFF AVOIDS EYE CONTACT. APPEARS NERVOUS.]

[THERE IS SILENCE FOR AROUND 10 SECONDS BEFORE DAVIS CLOSES FOLDER]

Davis: Then I suppose you’re free to—

Heathcliff: Yes.

[DAVIS PAUSES AND SITS BACK DOWN.]

Davis: Can you…describe them?

Heathcliff: He…for a period he…God. He was so…polite.

Davis: That sounds…like a good thing.

Heathcliff: Not this time, no. He was…too polite, before that he was so cold and…irritable, but for a day straight he was so…soulless. I don’t know what got into him; Sarah even told me he was banging on her door one night…asking her to…follow him somewhere.

Davis: Did she tell you where?

[HEATHCLIFF REMAINS SILENT.]

Davis: Did Mark say where he wanted Sarah to go?

Heathcliff:…Home.

[DAVIS WRITES ACCOUNT OF EVENTS DOWN.]

Heathcliff: It all ended when…I…oh God…opened his bedroom door.

Davis: What did you see?

Heathcliff: He was…kneeled on the ground…almost like he was…praying. But he wasn’t, he was…biting his hands until they bled. There was blood all over his face and arms and…I don’t…I didn’t know what to do—

Davis: It’s alright, Mrs. Heathcliff. Was he…typically this…self-destructive?

Heathcliff: No. I…don’t…believe so. After that he seemed…normal. As normal as he had been lately.

Davis: Ma’am, you have been told of the gun found in his nightstand, correct?

Heathcliff:…yes.

Davis: Do you believe he may have been…contemplating—

Heathcliff: I wish to go now.

[DAVIS PAUSES.]

Davis:…Very well. I believe we’re done here. Contact me if you have anything else you’d like to mention.

[HEATHCLIFF REMAINS SILENT AS DAVIS RETRIEVES EVIDENCE FROM THE TABLE. DAVIS FLINCHES.]

Davis: What did you say?

Heathcliff: I…didn’t say anything.

[SILENCE FOR AROUND FIVE SECONDS. DAVIS APPEARS PERTURBED.]

Davis: Very well…you’re…free to go.

[END TRANSCRIPT]

Notes: Will investigate the Torres household with Ruth in three days. There has to be something more to this case, I know it. I’m not letting a young man be blamed for a crime he didn’t commit.

I heard something. I know I did. But it didn’t sound like her.

[hellgiven]

I'm not gonna be on for the rest of the night ...

The first guy I ever dated in middle school committed suicide today and I just got word from his sister. We were still good friends and even went to college together. This hit me hard as I had NO idea what he was going through. He always seemed so upbeat, etc. my heart hurts tonight . I'll be around tomorrow sometime.

[reigningprinceofithaca]

uh. that musical where the SQUIP is from is really depressing but …

I AM HANGING IN THE BATHROOM AT THE BIGGEST PARTY OF THE FALL

I COULD STAY RIGHT HERE AN DISAPPEAR AND NOBODY’D EVEN NOTICE AT ALL 😞😞

IM A CREEPER IN A BATHROOM (what.) CAUSE MY BUDDY KINDA LEFT ME ALONE ☹️☹️☹️

but I’d rather fake pee then stand awkwardly 😨😨 or pretend to check a text on my phone

everything felt fine when I was half of a pair.

and through no fault of mine there’s no other half thereeeeeeee 💔💔

now. im. just. michael in the bathroom. michael in the bathroom at a party.

forget how long it’s been.

im just michael in the bathroom. michael in the bathroom. at a party.

NO YOU CANT COME IN!! ☹️

I’m waiting it out til it’s time to leave 😦

And picking at grout as I softly grieve

I’m just Michael who you don’t know. Michael flying solo.

Michael in the bathroom by himselfff

All by himselfffff 👎👎

I am hiding. But he’s out there. Just ignoring all our history.

Memories get erased. And I’ll get replaced, with a newer. cooler version of me.

And I hear a drunk girl, sing along to Whitney through the door..

I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY!!!💥💥

And my feelings sink, cause it makes me think, now there’s no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore! :(((

Now it’s just…Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom.

I half regret the beers..

Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party.

As I choke back the tears.

I’ll wait as long as I need til my face is dry 😥😥

Or I’ll just blame it on weed or something in my eye 😞

I'm just Michael, who you don't know

Michael flying solo

Michael in the bathroom by himself

Knock, knock, knock, knock.

They’re gonna start to shout soon.

knock, knock, knock, knock.

ah, hell yeah, I’ll be out soon.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

it sucks he left me here alone.

knock. knock. knock. knock.

here in this teenage battlezone!

Clang, clang, clang, clang

I feel the pressure blowing up

Bang, bang, bang, bang

My big mistake was showin' up

Splash, splash, splash, splash.

I throw some water in my face

And I am in a better place

I go to open up the door

But I can't hear knocking anymore.

And I can't help but yearn for a different time

And then I look in the mirror and the present is clearer

And there's no denying, I'm just…

At a party.

Is there a sadder sight than

Michael in the bathroom at a party?

This is a heinous night

I wish I stayed at home in bed

Watching cable porn ( 😨 )

Or wish I offed myself instead

Wish I was never born

I'm just Michael, who's a loner

So he must be a stoner

Rides a PT Cruiser

God, he's such a loser

Michael flying solo

Who you think that you know

Michael in the bathroom by himself…

All by himself

All by himself

When all you know about me is my name

Awesome party, I'm so glad I came. 🙁

I am not okay!!! 😇😇😇

[enjoytheglow]

Pinterest has sent me an email kindly asking me to please remove any Pins with references to suicide and self-harm on all my boards

And that's a whole section of my Mae board, including the title

[apalestar]

Bik's unpopular headcanon/opinion time. Under the cut because of the subject matter.

Astarion isn't going to off himself when his partner dies. There are multiple instances in the game where he expresses the interest to continue on. A romance with Karlach and Durge ( if you become Bhaal's sniveling puppet ).

He finally has a life worth living, and he isn't going to easily give that up even for a cherished partner. He expresses in both Karlach and Durge romance endings he will continue on. He'll remember his partner fondly, but he will continue on.

[lumenflowered]

a ma'am who didn't engage in the self-cessation!!

A ma'am who didn't—

How do you know of that.

[opyre]

I finally beat the game for myself ! I had watched @otlaw stream it for me when it first came out , but playing it myself definitely brought about so much more wonder and intrigue to the world and characters for me . I have a lot of thoughts about how I'd like to run this blog and general canon divergences that I wish to piece together for the sake of ease of access for all of my writing partners ! this certainly is not all of them , but they are the ones i've given greater thought to thus far . this is a long post , by the way . . . oops .

triggers mentioned as follows :

parental abuse ( mother , specifically ) , religion , suic*de alluded to but not specifically mentioned , possession

first , i'd like to touch on joshua's relationship with his parents .

his relationship with elwin was a bit more strained than the game let on , or how i imagine the relationship between elwin and clive . i think elwin put a lot of pressure on joshua ( intentionally , or nonintentionally ) and forced him to live in a bubble of burdensome expectation . i think he dearly loved his father , but the yearning for his approval oft made their connections rocky . i don't think they had many heart - to - hearts , but i do think joshua admired him . he loved him , of course , but i don't think he felt safe or appreciated around him , and i don't think they knew much about each other beyond the surface level and their inherited family dynamics . his ' inner voice ' section states : ' i don't want to disappoint him . . . '

his relationship with anabella was complicated . anabella made him feel protected , like he had someone who should ( not 'would' , necessarily ) care for him , and he relied on her heavily . she was the parent he looked to most to care for his needs , but unbeknownst to him , she did not care for many . her interests were always self - serving , but as a child , joshua was blind to it , and when he wasn't , he'd simply deny it in the favor of giving her the benefit of the doubt . because he loves her . as his ' inner voice ' section states : ' she can be scary , but it's only because she loves me . ' we can see in the scene that causes her death how joshua just wanted to save her . he wanted to help her . he believed there was still a chance that things might turn around , while jill and clive simply look pained that he gave her the chance and she betrayed it . again . i believe it was a common theme for them growing up . joshua being anabella's defender . not necessarily speaking up on her behalf , but making excuses to make sense of her behavior . i believe he often read between the lines with everyone , and everything . and still does . and there is certainly more to their relationship and the things she does and what he learns that i think about during his time with the undying , but that's for another post and another time .

on the subjects of his relationships with others , i wanted to point out specific variations that i will be adopting into my portrayal with my affiliates ( of these characters listed ) exclusively and a lot of this is stuff we have plotted out together and discussed .

CLIVE ( @otlaw ) : joshua and clive's relationship has so much nuance to it . they were brothers who were raised in a toxic family environment with very different experiences between their parents , the realm , and their expectations . they love each other so wholeheartedly and dearly , but it also does not undo the tragedy of their pasts , nor the tragedy of the night of flames . they are brotherly in the way that they are so aware of each other's flaws , but so aware of each other's strengths as well . certain jealousies plague them , and their guilt in regards to each other seems unending . they are full of love , but they are so riddled by the bitterness and blight ( figurative and nonfigurative ) of this world and the ways their lives have affected not only themselves , but each other . their paths are so closely interwoven . if i can recall , clive is the only person on their side that we see joshua get explicitly angry with .

JILL ( @glacierites ) : screw what square enix did to jill and joshua for real . first amenity : when joshua first awakens with jill at his side after the 5 year skip , he does not simply brush her aside . he blinks awake in a steady realization of who he is with and why he is where he is , but does not presently realize that it is jill who is kneeled beside him . he is transfixed on helping clive , as he gets up to try to save him , but when jill calls his name , he recognizes her immediately . his eyes tear up and he tells her he will return , before priming and flying forth . joshua and jill have a lot of nuance as well , but get along better than clive in joshua in terms of their similar personalities . they spent a lot of time together as clive trained and sparred and share many sacred memories , secrets , and inside jokes with each other . also . he hugs her before they leave for origin . he gives her the moment with clive of course , but i'll be damned if he will hug dion and mid and not jill . he loves jill . that is his family . that is his sister .

JOTE ( @tutelaris ) : jote and joshua are so much deeper and more complex than canon lets on for me ( and prince , but let me not put words in his mouth , haha ) . jote became a trusted companion of joshua's as she was one of the few among his age group and helped to nurse him to health during his five year coma . after awaking , jote as beside him most every step of the way . she helped him with physical therapy and comforted him ( when he had no choice but to let her ) through regaining tragic memories and the nightmares of his past . they shared many deep moments together as he learned to reconstruct who he is as a person , and she learns that she is indeed a person ( as this is how joshua treats her , not just a subject to the phoenix ) . they are comfortable in silence with each other , but they also share secrets with one another , sacred moments and memories , and exclusive behavior and remarks . i like to think that when clive and jill around the two of them they're like 🤨🤨 also note that while i do ship with prince's jote romantically , joshua and jote do not act on romantic feelings for each other until joshua returns from origin in his joshua lives au verse ( which i will expand upon in a future post ) .

*** i also want to note that i am COMPLETELY open to writing with duplicates of these characters and developing separate plots aside ! i am not exclusive to anyone and would love to explore more potential dynamics !

and now for something completely canon divergent that i just think would make things much more interesting : joshua can commune , at times , with the phoenixes of eld , his forefathers . he has always been in touch with his powers , but truly awakened to the phoenix at age seven , two years before the remembrance ceremony . during the awakening to the fullness of his power , he entered a vision - like , dream - like state where he was held in a center room within his mind ( reminiscent of the ruins at phoenix gate ) as his forefathers granted him advice and gave him warnings of the future and what the power of the phoenix truly entails . they spoke much on the healing , and protector aspects of things , solidifying his resolve to one day become a person who can protect the people he holds most dear . but really , to protect everyone he is able . i like to think that they can speak to him , but he cannot speak back , and they only speak through his mind in these visions , when the calling becomes extremely important . it does , however , take a physical toll on his body , oft knocking him from his feet and sending him to his knees in confusion and slight agony and pain .

on the subject of communing with spirits and perhaps , gods : i'd like to think that joshua housing ultima inside of his body did things not just to his body but to his psyche as well . i don't think ultima ever possessed him by any means , like , joshua was always in control of his body and his actions ( illness(es) aside ) , but i think he'd see pieces and fragments of the fallen , memories of ultima's in his dreams , and random glimpses of the fallen and origin .

and while we're talking about 'religion' : i think " the founder " or the man who founded the twins , became someone idolized and almost worshipped over time . he became a legend that was voiced into a god by centuries of cult - like religion that eventually became regionalized as a mass understanding of his sanctity and their gratitude toward him . i think this is why they often use him name in exclamations similar to ' by the [gods]* ' , ' thank the [heavens]* ' , or simply , ' founder ' in a sigh of relief . ** could be substituted with the way they use ' founder ' .