#suicide ideation mention

[sneakerdoodle]

this may be petty but i think it's just a bit silly that both the comic (very openly) and the movie (less so but still deliberately) used Nimona's shapeshifting combined with her immortality as a source of distrust for Ballister, causing him to look at her differently, no longer seeing a vulnerable young person (and that hurting her and hurting their bond) - that in the movie, they had the director use footage of Nimona allowing herself a moment of vulnerability, of being a child reaching out to a child, and tell everyone "see? this monster will PRESENT as harmless and vulnerable and choose seemingly helpless forms to fool you", had the director point at this battered traumatized suicidal teenager falling into the arms of the first adult in a thousand years who chose to protect her, and say "this is deception, it's TRYING to appear vulnerable and young and defenseless" - and she is wrong, and we're supposed to know that the narrative asks us to TRUST what we see despite the things we do not get to fully know or understand -

and now a portion of the fan base is debating whether Nimona choosing a vulnerable young form is disingenuine and inauthentic to her actual degree of "maturity". is just weird!

[gray--abyss]

I wanted to figure out a likely timeline of Dan/Phantom/Whatever-his-name-is's spiral into evil, for writing him and stuff.

CONTENT WARNING: Discussion of suicide and themes of suicide starts below cut.

1. nasty patty incident

2. danny is grieving, but hopes for at least his parents to come back- after all, they had unfinished research, an obsession and thirst for knowledge. his justifications for how Sam, Tucker, and his sister would come back are flimsy, and he knows it. He can't stand the pitying looks from his former tormenters. His aunt, Alicia- not a gentle woman, but doing her best- comes out from the country to supervise him.

3. End of month 1: the funeral. Danny starts to grow more outwardly volatile, instead of directing his despair inward. He exchanges contact information with Vlad, and the two enter an uneasy truce as they enter closer contact.

4. After 6 months, he tries to tell Alicia about the half ghost thing, and she doesn't take it badly- but she admits that she doesn't know how to help with that. Danny isn't sure what he's been expecting, but it's not what he wants. He can't stand to be in Amity Park anymore, and asks Vlad and Alicia if he can move in with him. they both agree, and he moves in with Vlad.

5. month 7: Danny is miserable at this new school, in this new, empty house. He feels like a ghost here more than he ever has before. the fear and hatred he harbors towards Vlad has only amplified with the closer proximity, and the mans security measures certainly don't help. His hatred for himself grows, being too weak to save his family, too weak to tough things out in Amity while waiting for his family.

Content warnings apply below. I promise it's not All doom and gloom, but given it's Phantom... there's a lot of it.

6. Month 8: Danny decides that if his family doesn't come back, he will commit a kind of suicide, removing his ghost half, then his ghost half removing and dispatching Vlad's ghost half. He decides that 2 against 1 will be the best method, and that's where the idea of fusing with Vlad's ghost half comes in. After all, if either of them can kill their combined ghost, that'll be safer for everyone. One last "heroic" act. He just has to trick Vlad.

7. Month 10: Danny gives up, and executes on the plan. He's sick of wasting time being sad. Phantom doesn't want to die, and successfully kills Danny, and fails to kill Vlad. He doesn't realize Vlad didn't die in that explosion.

8. After the rush of revenge, Phantom feels really weird about it. It was only fair, Danny was going to kill him, but he realizes he didn't think through what it'd be like living as part Vlad. But hey- he doesn't have to juggle school, politics, or feigning humanity anymore. He can go keep an eye on his home now, and figure out how to spend his afterlife! He gets in contact with Alicia, letting her know a less... scary version of his suicide, and that he's going to be hanging around in Amity Park again. (... He still hasn't really given up on someone coming back.)

9. When he finally gets back to FentonWorks, he's furious to find his former schoolmates partying in his house, and nearly attacks them, but calms down just enough to only yell at them. He doesn't care about keeping things secret anymore, and lets the secret slip. He doesn't miss how their treatment of Phantom changes. He can almost accept this not-as-pitiful respect.

10. For the next 3 months (at 1 year 1 month post incident), he tries to protect Amity Park. He causes more property damage than before. He notes and tries to ignore his increased aggression, but after he actually injures Valerie, the only person left that he "trusts", he panics, and drops her off at the hospital. Enough is enough, and at a town hall meeting that he doesn't attend, they decide to bring in the feds to deal with the local phantom.

11. Upon FentonWorks being raided, he's furious. He's been protecting these people, and for what? This isn't fair! Phantom kills a few of the GIW, before making a declaration to the whole of town with a souped up megaphone he stole from the GIW: If they don't want his help, then he'll be what they think he is- just an another evil Phantom.

12. In the next 2 months, he causes mass chaos, but fails to cause much damage to GIW and the government. He's just one ghost, after all. He retreats into the ghost zone, and convinces Skulker to take him on as an apprentice. He does have fun hunting and fighting ghosts, after all, and it can help him hone and perfect techniques.

13. for the next 3 1/2 years (4 years 9 months post incident), Phantom almost entirely lives in the ghost zone, only traveling to the world of the living for special occasions. He's figured out how he wants to look by year 2 post incident- basically an idealized version of how he would've wanted to look as an adult. He sets out on his list of revenge, targeting ghosts and enemies that he feels have personally wronged him.

14. To graduate from his apprenticeship, he and Skulker have a hunt-off. Obviously, Phantom wins, and graduates. The hunt lasts 3 months. (5 years post incident)

15. This isn't to say Phantom had no social afterlife... with ghosts he was previously allied or friends with, he tried to keep those relationships. Wulf isn't about what he's up to, and distances himself to an acquaintance. Phantom parties with Dorathea, allies himself with Fright Knight, actually befriends Klemper for when he just needs a chill hangout, convinces Poindexter to help him in researching ghost stuff, and helps Bones babysit Youngblood, just for examples of relationships he has with canon ghosts. He's a combination of two very social and dramatic ghosts, so he's honestly kind of goofy when he's not being actively menacing.

16. He does not acknowledge the not-being-able-to-be-seen-by-adults thing that Youngblood has going on, deciding that he must be an adult at this point, and the fact that he can see Youngblood is a Fully Ghost thing. Youngblood thinks it's a bit he's doing and plays along- it is Not a fully Ghost Thing

17. He does some trial runs on attacking security companies and billionaires in the month before the next Incident Anniversary.

18. On the 5 year anniversary of the Nasty Patty Incident, Phantom launches a successful attack on the GIW, destroying their facilities. He begins razing USA government agencies and offices, because genuinely, they have been such a pain for him. He doesn't attack postal offices or bus systems. When other countries allied with the USA try to attack Phantom, he starts targeting them as well.

19. Something that... basically everyone but Phantom himself notices, is that the only average-people civilians he targets are people in Amity Park.

20. At year 6, the USA as we know it is gone- people still live there, the only places actually uninhabitable being former military bases, and a 50 mile radius around Amity Park. Phantom starts making a concerted, focused effort to attack Amity Park, starting an arms race between him and Valerie.

21. It's unnerving for Valerie to see how little he's changed, even with a shiny new coat of evil paint and an adult-ish appearance. She can't help but think it looks an awful lot like a superhero that Danny used to like.

22. At year 9, he decides that he's done all he's wanted, and that Valerie will be strong enough to kill him- so he plans one last fight with her- either he'll win, and be uncontested in strength... Or he'll lose, setting the balances of justice right once again. He's excited to see how strong she's gotten. ... Despite all he says, he hopes she'll win, and he'll get a "happy" ending, even if it isn't his.

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

TW: mentions of blood/bodily harm

The following is a transcript between Thatcher Davis and [REDACTED] Heathcliff, recorded on September 22nd, 1992 on Heathcliff’s account of the recent disappearances of Mark Heathcliff and Cesar Torres. It is to be noted that Heathcliff has chosen to stay anonymous to the public, requesting to have her name censored on all public documentations of this event outside of classified MCPD files. Interview goes as follows:

[DAVIS BEGINS RECORDING, AUDIBLY SIGHS.]

Davis: State your name for the record.

Heathcliff: [REDACTED] Heathcliff.

Davis: Do you know why you’re here today?

Heathcliff: It’s…because of my son, isn’t it…

[ANONYMOUS OFFICER IN THE ROOM SPEAKS]: I’m sure you’re aware of his recent disappearance, along with his friend, correct?

[HEATHCLIFF REMAINS SILENT.]

[NAME REDACTED]: Do you know of anything that might’ve…gone wrong between them, Miss Heathcliff?

Heathcliff: They…they were best friends, Mark…he…didn’t have many people like that; Cesar was like…a brother to him.

Davis: He was at the Torres household a few nights before Cesar’s disappearance, correct?

Heathcliff: I believe so.

Davis: Do you know why?

Heathcliff: It was a visit…staying the night.

Davis: Visiting…for what reason?

Heathcliff:…He…mentioned that he wanted to talk to Cesar. He didn’t say what he wanted to talk to him about.

[DAVIS WRITES ANSWERS DOWN. OFFICER IN THE ROOM SPEAKS]

[REDACTED]: You mentioned that your son has been acting…strangely, correct?

Heathcliff: Yes…but…not violent.

[REDACTED]: I wasn’t implying he was. Why do you mention that?

Davis: I can take care of this myself, [REDACTED].

Heathcliff: I-I don’t know, he just…felt…I don’t know.

Davis: Can you describe these behaviors?

[HEATHCLIFF REMAINS SILENT FOR AROUND FIVE SECONDS, PRESUMABLY THINKING.]

Heathcliff: He…seemed more distant; more than usual.

[REDACTED]: Do you believe it has to do with his diagnose?

Heathcliff: He…never acted that way before. He liked staying in his room and kept to himself but…it almost seemed like he was…avoiding everyone, even his sister. Though, I don’t…think his depression had to do with it.

Davis: Is there anything else you’d like to mention, regarding these changes in behavior?

Heathcliff:…He started…sleepwalking. Knocking on his sister’s door and…talking, though I never knew what he was saying.

[DAVIS SIGHS AND SLIDES NOTEBOOK TOWARDS HEATHCLIFF]

Davis: This seemed to have belonged to Mark, is that correct?

Heathcliff: Yes. He liked writing in a journal…it was a suggestion by his therapist.

[DAVIS GOES TO SPEAK BUT IS INTERRUPTED.]

[REDACTED]: There are multiple entries inside that imply that he and Torres’s friendship was starting to become potentially toxic. Were you aware of this?

Heathcliff: N…no.

[REDACTED]: Ma’am, it seems that…Mark had…been feeling bitter towards Cesar shortly before his disappearance, stating things like “he won’t listen to me” or “he’s ignoring me” and similar things.

[HEATHCLIFF APPEARS WORRIED, AND REMAINS SILENT.]

[REDACTED]: If you don’t mind me asking…was Mark a particularly…violent person?

Heathcliff: He…n-no, he wasn’t. He…got into a few fights at school, but he wasn’t naturally violent or-

[REDACTED]: Ma’am, that could be a sign of an underlying problem. You mentioned on his report that he had problems regulating his emotions, including anger. It could be possible that he was particularly angry at Cesar that night, the night the supposed visit took place.

Heathcliff: My son is not a murderer. I came here hoping that you could stop all the rumors going around town that my son is some sort of…twisted psychopath. Do you know how many calls I get, yelling at me about how my son killed one of the most popular kids in school?

[REDACTED]: Now, I’m not making any conclusions, I’m simply stating that…it’s certainly possible.

Davis: I’ll take care of this myself, [REDACTED]. You’re free to leave.

[REDACTED]:…Lieutenant, I must-

Davis: That is an order.

[OFFICER LEAVES THE ROOM, SHUTTING DOOR BEHIND HIM.]

Davis: Apologies…as I was saying, your son—

Heathcliff: It doesn’t matter what I say, does it?

Davis: Pardon?

Heathcliff: No matter what, you’re going to…pin all of this on Mark, aren’t you?

[HEATHCLIFF APPEARS TO BE HOLDING BACK TEARS.]

Davis:…No. Not enough evidence to pin anything on anyone. Your son is not being accused of anything…I’ll make sure of that.

Heathcliff: Your friend seems to disagree…

Davis: Are there…any…particular events you’d like to mention before we wrap our conversation up?

[HEATHCLIFF AVOIDS EYE CONTACT. APPEARS NERVOUS.]

[THERE IS SILENCE FOR AROUND 10 SECONDS BEFORE DAVIS CLOSES FOLDER]

Davis: Then I suppose you’re free to—

Heathcliff: Yes.

[DAVIS PAUSES AND SITS BACK DOWN.]

Davis: Can you…describe them?

Heathcliff: He…for a period he…God. He was so…polite.

Davis: That sounds…like a good thing.

Heathcliff: Not this time, no. He was…too polite, before that he was so cold and…irritable, but for a day straight he was so…soulless. I don’t know what got into him; Sarah even told me he was banging on her door one night…asking her to…follow him somewhere.

Davis: Did she tell you where?

[HEATHCLIFF REMAINS SILENT.]

Davis: Did Mark say where he wanted Sarah to go?

Heathcliff:…Home.

[DAVIS WRITES ACCOUNT OF EVENTS DOWN.]

Heathcliff: It all ended when…I…oh God…opened his bedroom door.

Davis: What did you see?

Heathcliff: He was…kneeled on the ground…almost like he was…praying. But he wasn’t, he was…biting his hands until they bled. There was blood all over his face and arms and…I don’t…I didn’t know what to do—

Davis: It’s alright, Mrs. Heathcliff. Was he…typically this…self-destructive?

Heathcliff: No. I…don’t…believe so. After that he seemed…normal. As normal as he had been lately.

Davis: Ma’am, you have been told of the gun found in his nightstand, correct?

Heathcliff:…yes.

Davis: Do you believe he may have been…contemplating—

Heathcliff: I wish to go now.

[DAVIS PAUSES.]

Davis:…Very well. I believe we’re done here. Contact me if you have anything else you’d like to mention.

[HEATHCLIFF REMAINS SILENT AS DAVIS RETRIEVES EVIDENCE FROM THE TABLE. DAVIS FLINCHES.]

Davis: What did you say?

Heathcliff: I…didn’t say anything.

[SILENCE FOR AROUND FIVE SECONDS. DAVIS APPEARS PERTURBED.]

Davis: Very well…you’re…free to go.

[END TRANSCRIPT]

Notes: Will investigate the Torres household with Ruth in three days. There has to be something more to this case, I know it. I’m not letting a young man be blamed for a crime he didn’t commit.

I heard something. I know I did. But it didn’t sound like her.

[just-antithings]

TW suicide ideation. Anti rhetoric is eerily similar to the validation of thoughtcrime. There is literally something called l'appel du vide, or call of the void, which is like that feeling you get when you're driving and you suddenly think what it would be like to crank the wheel and throw the vehicle and yourself off the side of the road. But that doesn't make someone guilty of mischief or arson or other property damage. It is literally conceptual. I don't know where I'm going with this but.

.

[naomiknight-17]

Been watching a LOT of Caitlin Doughty/Ask a Mortician lately cuz I've been thinking about death a lot. Not in a "Oh no I'm gonna DIE!" Or in a "Augh I'm depressed I wanna die" way, but in a "Man, this is really gonna happen at some point and we should really plan and prepare for it" way

Then I visit my mom and bro for dinner tonight, and Mom tells us that Aaron Carter just died. After dinner we watched some Lower Decks and the episode involved a character dying off-screen and a main character questioning the point/meaning of life when a death can be so random and meaningless.

So uh. I broached the subject with my family. What do we each want done when we die? Where will we be buried and how? Embalming? Viewings? Cremation?

And my brother was snarky and jokey about it, because that's how he do, but he did express that he wants what's easiest on the family, and we came to a tentative decision based on that.

Mom already had a plan, and a spot reserved with her parents, and a spare spot reserved for bro in case something unexpected happens before other plans can be made.

Jon and I want green burials and found a place not too far away that does them. We have to look into it more, but now at least the people around us have an idea what we want.

So yeah. It just feels good to have that out of the way. It's been on my mind a lot, and now we've discussed it. It was hard, but necessary I think.

Mom and I also agreed that we're gonna order will kits for her and Dad and get him to sit down with us and figure things out. He's said he wants me to be the executor of his will but I don't think he actually HAS one yet.

I know it may seem morbid but having a plan and knowing what my family members want makes the prospect of death way less scary. Yeah, it's still unknown what will happen to our souls/consciousness/whatever but at least we have an idea what will happen to our bodies and don't have to stress our loved ones by making them figure out what to do. It's decided in advance, so they don't have to worry about it.

Sorry to get all deep and serious over here but! It's important! I encourage y'all to talk with your loved ones about such when you have a chance

[burinazar]

Whenever I'm sitting and working on furthering my career by seeking out opportunities and contacting people etc there is a constant, constant feeling of rising horror at how much of my life I've already wasted, how underqualified I am, how pointless the ways I've spent my years are. (If you’re one of the people who happens to know part of my volunteer work stuff I do involves equipping others to seek out career opportunities in a constructive and efficient way, yes, I see the irony...my actual job is sort of ironic in that way too, I’m sending the kids off to uni way better equipped to take advantage of and thrive during their time there than I turned out to be...) 

Anyway. The sense of shame and horror builds and builds and when it reaches a tipping point I have to stop for the day. It's really goddamn taxing but other than pushing forward thru it I don't see how I'm ever going to manage to change my situation and achieve a career trajectory that brings me something other than shame, disappointment and exhaustion. It'd be cool if I could find a way to do it that's less mentally exhausting and doesn't sometimes lead to literal suicide ideation as the concluding point of the day, a la 'aw fuck, no this is NEVER going to happen and i need to literally kill myself, that way when the people I’ve crossed paths with wonder how I’m doing, ‘that person killed themselves’ will be a less shameful reality for them to find out about subsequently than ‘that person made nothing of their life’ and they will be less disgusted by the fact that i fell out of touch and didn’t achieve anything' But...like...*not* doing it was just leading to literal years of stagnation at a dead-end job...like this is probably the good outcome, the fact that I'm doing it. Maybe I’ll get desensitized? ‘Make yourself cry every day while job hunting’ is probably not Good but like, Don’t Do The Thing is not an option any longer.

[psyschopompous-lotus]

I gotta break myself out of diet culture shit

My immediate families are both full of overweight people. We've always loved to eat rich, filling foods and most of us were/are fairly sedentary and inactive.

But my mom has also always stressed about her weight. She tried so many programs. She'd take me and my sister to the gym for around an hour a day after school. I was 15. My sister was 10. We didn't know what we were doing so we never really noticed any differences. I joined weight watchers with my mom in my early 20s, back when they first started rebranding to "we're not a diet, we're a lifestyle that teaches you how to eat in moderation" bullshit. It was impossible to eat at any of our favorite local spots. All the weight we lost came back quickly after we fizzled out on the restrictions a year later.

The only reasons why my mom has lost weight recently is that she's been way more active and she literally couldn't eat more than one small meal a day for about a month straight.

Same with my sister! She worked at a gym for a while and the fatphobia there ensured that she was working out on her breaks and when it was slow. She got nosebleeds from doing too much and struggled with eating more than one meal a day too.

I'm trying to reframe my goals as not losing a specific amount of pounds but rather being able to do more with my body. My stamina is shit. My shins hurt when I run. I need help carrying things because I don't have much upper body strength (because women shouldn't be muscular lmao). But it's still so hard when I've experienced body shaming my entire life from the people around me, on top of having some severe depression/an extremely unhealthy relationship with food/suicide ideation at points, and a family intent on providing more unhealthy options than healthy ones. There was just no way to win when I was young.

I might never lose weight. I hope I never get to the point of eating just one meal again. My stomach might always stick out more than my chest. But I'm trying to be healthy. And I'm trying to do it in a healthy way with my body rather than against it.

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[glitter-alienz]

CW suicidal ideation

he's trying 👍🏾

[start] [next] <- this is the start of an era... i have a bunch of comic wips about donnie being mentally ill <3

[TMNTOV Masterpost]

original under the cut

its by @mewechy but their blog got explded i think

[captain-hen]

♡ countdown to the madney wedding ♡ (2 days) ↳ 5.12: boston

[slyandthefamilybook]

I'm gonna say it

as someone who has had suicidal thoughts as recently as yesterday, the primary factors keeping me personally from killing myself are:

It would make other people sad

I can accomplish more by living

From my conversations with other depressed people, these seem to be similar threads. It's well-known that the majority of tumblr users suffer from one mental illness or another, with depression being arguably the most common among them. Whether this airman was mentally ill or not, and whether that mental illness played a factor in his suicide or not, the example being set by tumblr users is incredibly dangerous. The reactions I've seen to his death have made two things very clear:

People are proud of him for his actions

People think his suicide has helped in an important way

If you're paying attention, you will have noticed that those two reactions exactly contradict the reasons why many depressed people abstain from suicide. This is going to put people's lives at risk. People with depression do not need another reason to think they should kill themselves. Gazans have already spoken out about their disapproval with these methods. This needs to stop before more people die

If you or a loved one are considering suicide, call 988 to be connected to the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

[daily-crabbys]

This Friday's meme is: you always do this

[frownyalfred]

Hello! Read your fic where Jason finds out about Clark stopping Bruce from killing Joker, forcefully, and if I may add more angst if you don't mind, the idea had been rattling in my brain: Never read the comic actually but what if Clark had another reason to stop Bruce from killing the Joker like, Bruce taking a gun with two bullets in the chamber with him, one for the Joker, the other ... well, it should be apparent that while Batman would gladly kill (in the comic "I Am A Gun"), Bruce is the one who can't handle it. And what parent wants to outlive their child, especially one who was taken in a horrible manner from a very much not a stable adult?

Clark can't, won't, lose a friend, Batman and/or Bruce.

Bonus if the gun was the same one that killed Martha and Thomas, that Bruce had purchased as Matches Malone.

Have a good week come to you, drink water and eat vegetables daily.

how dare you drop this angst off on my lap and then tell me to drink water and eat vegetables

[swollenbabyfat]

Quiet now children

[birdsong-warriors]

I don't want to talk about this much, but it may affect page uploads.

Saturday night, I was assaulted and strangled by my brother. This is not the first time he's done this, but it was severely excalated this time. I deserved it. Honestly, I wish he'd succeeded so nobody would have to deal with my shit anymore. I'm still very much in crisis mode, and I'm so sorry if I disappear. I'm praying I can continue working despite the situation, but this may warrant a short break.

I'm so sorry for any inconvenience this may cause, and I'm even more sorry I'm bringing this up at all. I need to stop talking from now on, honestly. I just wanted to communicate why I may poof. I don't know. I'm scared, and I can't do this. But I have to keep going.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

[starlightshore]

Lingering Spirits - A Danny Phantom AU where Danny moves to Amity 2 years after the Portal Incident. Combo of Alicia Adoption (Farmboy AU) + Nobody Knows AU

A more serious/ Horror take on the AUs

Hoof, starting on a morbid foot. Please note that it's intentional that Sam is romanticizing death and has over-blown anti-human feelings. they're a depressed teenager! they're going through it and they're coping the only way they know how. They'll learn to grow more healthy world views and ways of dealing with their depression with time. Please don't assume I'm condoning their world-view lol.

Anyway on a lighter note, I wanted Sam and Tucker to look different than my usual AU stuff in this AU, so I hope you guys like the design change!

Updates will be infrequent as I'm pretty busy. However, I did this on a team call day so I was kind of productive in my other projects haha!