#((i had to integrate the necklace at some point))

[egotisticle]

@lcvelj​: ❝ do you think the moon gets lonely? ❞

♚ -------------------- MAGNOLIA CASTILLO prompt  ( no longer accepting )

     THE BLUE VELVET  sky beyond the window’s glass had invited the query with its otherworldly beauty, the lustre of the full moon vying for an audience even amidst a sea of  coruscating  stars. a trek across a multitude of universes had been a requisite for their  tryst  but the destination was well worth the cost. messages scribed by  auras  in the all-encompassing abyss could only gratify their yearning to a point, less of a substitute and more of an  aperitif  to the proverbial main course; a whetted appetite could only endure so much  temptation.

          the quality of time spent in-person was nothing short of  exquisite,  as was the fruition of the perennial suspense.

     from the darkness that had befallen her room had the entity taken shape to join her at the bedroom window, sleeved arms slow to embrace her from behind so as not to startle her while shadows disrobed him of their  obstructive  veil. the initial fervour of their reunion had simmered into a comfortable warmth, not unlike how the gem in her necklace had  dulled  in their close proximity.  characteristic  ringing  hid within the medley of noises outside, the walls breathing around them and the stifled  melody  of white noise. when she was with him, the being’s campaign against his human counterpart was adjourned until the  itch  manifested again. the exact moment in which they were brought together again was committed to memory -- the  first  touch,  the  first  breath, and the  first  kiss.  no instance was wholly the same and as lips bestowed a chaste kiss to the back of her neck, all felt  impossibly  still once more.

     ❝  all  great  and  precious  things can get lonely at times.  ❞  the quote’s recital was married with a smooth timbre, a near whisper that was further accentuated by layers of  dreamy  echoes. each disembodied voice represented one possibility out of an infinite quantity, ripped  asunder  from their respective place in time and space for the sake of theatrics. it was a testament to his presence, a tribute to her and his  obdurate  resolution to reunite with her over and over again.  ❝  after all, it can only  admire  the sun from afar ---- or perhaps it’s  content  as it is, in the  company  of the stars.  ❞

     pale fingers were slow to climb along the centre of her torso as the other upheld their hold, taking care to enjoy the journey before the eventual destination. the pad of his thumb mindfully brushed over the jewel’s  lusterless  surface, the gesture lending itself to a proposal which could quell her curiosity with an apodictic truth. their current reality succumbed to a shimmer and for a moment, the edges of the window and the  watercolour  sky seamlessly blended together. they could walk into the unknown hand-in-hand, experience all that the universe had to offer and  seize  opportunities that weren’t presented to the average human. she with the necklace, she could  follow  him where she once couldn’t, even a reality where the moon itself was  personified.  for now, they had all the time in the world to revel in the privilege of each other’s existence.  

                         WHERE DOES LOVE GO ?                                  ( WHEREVER YOU ARE. )

        ❝ should we ask it in-person ?  i imagine that visitors, in all their scarcity, must be quite the  luxury.  ❞

[yourmidnightlover]

truth or dare... don't lie

pairing: xavier thorpe x fem!reader

summary: during a game of truth or dare, a secret about reader is revealed that xavier offers to help her out with.

warnings: SMUT LMAO, unprotected PIV, fingering, oral (F receiving), virgin!reader, kinda soft sex tbh, reader loses her v-card bc i'm projecting, kent, bianca, and yoko are kinda mean in this i'm not gonna lie, theres a bit of angst at first but then it gets really smutty and comforting

a/n: THIS IS NOT EDITED! i AM working on a part two to my series, but i have finals this week and can't focus enough to develop the plot how i planned so you're getting this instead to tide you over... wooo! enjoy horn-dogs :)

"it's your turn, y/n!" bianca started giggling as she took another sip of whatever alcoholic mixture she decided to deliver this time.

somehow you, enid, wednesday, ajax, xavier, bianca, kent, and yoko were playing a skewed version of truth or dare in xaviers single room. basically, it was the same premise of you choose a truth or a dare, but if you didn't complete the task or answer the truth then you had to strip. so... strip truth or dare.

it's not like anyone really cared, it was a week before winter break, and everyone had already finished their exams for the semester. luckily you were even able to have thing sneak into the teachers' lounge and bag some extra goodies, which was mostly only alcohol and little debbie snacks.

"what'll it be, y/l/n?" bianca continued to ask you. "truth or dare... or strip?"

you see, there was one MORE issue at hand...

you were down to your dress.

having already taken off your jacket, socks, and even your necklace, you were desperate to remain in the game with your integrity intact, although you were sure most of them wouldn't remember a thing because they had drank so much. except for wednesday, something about making sure enid got back to the dorm safely... blah blah blah.

well, and xavier, but you weren't sure why he wasn't drinking much on his end. maybe he was simply uncomfortable with it, or wanted to be the designated walk-er, helping everyone to their respective dorms. that's part of why you like him so much. he's so sweet and thoughtful, even when people choose to inebriate themselves beyond belief with alcohol. it wouldn't happen, and you know that. but a little schoolgirl crush never hurt anyone, right?

regardless, you needed something easy, so you remained covered and not embarrassed, "truth."

"boring!" enid rang out, hands cupping around her mouth to symbolize a megaphone.

"she is down to just her dress and whatever is underneath," wednesday pointed out with a nod. you turned to see xavier simply looking down at his phone, more than uninterested in the game.

"fine," you sighed. "i choose dare," you said smugly, noticing xaviers eyebrows raise as he made eye contact with you before you abruptly looked the other direction.

"there we go!" bianca clapped as the others cheered with her. "that's what i'm talking about y/n," she put her finger to her chin as if she were in deep thought with a quiet 'hmmm,' "i dare you to sit in xavier's lap for the rest of the game!"

"really?" your surprise was practically impossible to hide. "i don't think he'd be very comfortable with that, b."

"i'm cool with it if you are, y/n/n," he gave you a smile, one that you didn't recognize. it wasn't his 'i'm proud of you smile' or his 'you fucked up again' smile, no. this was a new one. this one seemed darker. mysterious. enticing.

you liked it.

"i-i'm cool with it," and with that, you got up and walked in his direction.

he had been sitting at his desk the whole time, in his comfy little chair. he pat his lap three times before you rolled your eyes at him and sat down on his lap, facing the same way as him. you tried not to put much weight on him, so you opted to sit on the very edge of his knees and let your tiptoes hold most of your weight.

"okay that can't be comfortable," xavier pointed out. "here," he carefully lifted you just enough to maneuver you over his lap, now sideways with your back against one armrest and your feet dangling over the other. "better?"

"mhmm, thanks," you smiled as you clasped your hands in your lap, one of xavier's arms still wrapped around your waist comfortably. it felt nice, like it belonged there.

from there on the game got a bit more... risqué. now there were kisses dared on cheeks, first time stories being drawn out, and so much more.

"xavier," ajax pointed at him, slurring his words with a big grin decorating his face. "truth or dare!"

"hmm..." he acted deep in thought. "dare."

"i dare you..." he clearly hadn't thought that far in advance, which is when enid leaned over and whispered something you couldn't make out to him. "oh that's good!," ajax whisper yelled, not being able to properly sense his own volume. "i dare you, xavier, to kiss y/n on the neck until your next turn!"

you turned to face him, your lips pressed into a thin line, praying that he couldn't see the rosy red blush that was surely adorning your cheeks by now.

"are you okay with that?" he asked, whispering in your ear so the others couldn't hear. once he got your quiet, but detectable 'mhmm,' he accepted the dare. "alright," with that, he got to work.

he pressed a feather-light kiss to your neck at first, and you thought you would be fine if this is what he would be doing the entire time. that was, until he began to press slightly open-mouthed kisses to your neck, occasionally gently nipping the area before soothing over it with his tongue.

there was no doubt in your mind that he could tell your heartbeat was racing. between feeling his hair brushing on the sensitive skin, and his tongue soothing his love-bites, you were about to explode. your hips were practically moving on their own at this point, trying to get whatever friction you could.

"hey," you felt xavier's hands grab your hips firmly. "if you don't stop moving your hips like that there's gonna be a mess between us that i really don't wanna clean up."

"what do you-" he shifted your hips up a bit more, hitting something a bit harder than his thighs were. "oh-is-is that...?"

"yea," he got closer to your ear, beginning to suck on the lobe and continuing his ministrations.

"in the school bathroom!" bianca rang out, laughing at whatever story kent was telling this time.

"i think it's y/n's turn again," kent diverted everyone's attention to you, so you tried to ignore xavier sucking on your neck like a leech, albeit a really hot one, to get through this.

"oh, and it's my turn," yoko cheered. "truth or dare, y/n?"

you really didn't think you'd be able to survive whatever dare they would throw your way, not in the slightest, which is why you chose: "truth."

"alright," yoko looked towards bianca and kent before asking, "what was your first time like?"

ajax might as well have ripped his beenie off then and there because you froze. you hadn't done it. you haven't gotten past giving a guy a handjob, let alone sex.

you didn't know how long you were quiet for, but you did notice when xavier stopped his kissing. you could practically feel his stare right on your face. you wanted it to go away. you wanted to disappear. it was humiliating, really. at least you thought it was until...

"you haven't, have you?" kent chuckled as bianca stifled a laugh.

"are you serious?" yoko asked incredulously. "well, i guess it makes sense to me," she shrugged as you tore yourself off of xavier's body, having to pry his hand away from your waist.

"hey," he held onto your hand softly and looked at you with what you thought to be puppy-dog eyes, you didn't have the best view due to the tears blocking your eyes.

"just..." you sighed as you took your hand out of his and ran out of his room, dorm, and the building as a whole. you just wanted to walk around, feel comfortable. then it hit you that there was always one place where you felt comfortable.

after around 15 minutes of walking around to clear your head, you got to xavier's paint shed. you had gone there nearly every time you needed help with homework, needed some advice, or if you simply missed him. it's amazing that even though he wasn't there, you could still smell his presence, the mahogany and woods scent that felt like home to you now.

you had made several forts in the place before, having secret sleepovers with each other countless times just because you wanted to. so, you brought out the mattress that was set up against the wall, put the fitted sheet on it and set up the bed as usual before plopping down on it.

you didn't even want to cry anymore. you just wanted to disappear. you felt like such a loser. i mean, why is that such a big deal anyway? it's just sex. but then again, if it's 'just sex' then why haven't you just done it?

"y/n/n?" xaviers voice called out as he knocked on the door of the shed. "look, i know you're in there. just wanted you to know that i kicked everyone out, okay?" you stayed quiet. "y/n," he sighed. "you know that just because you haven't... yknow, doesn't mean anything right? what yoko was saying... she doesn't make sense. because anyone would be so lucky to have you. you're unbelievably kind, and generous, witty, hilarious... and beautiful. you're beautiful, y/n. please just let me in? i wanna talk to your face, not some door."

you sniffled with a laugh, "it's been unlocked the whole time, idiot."

"hey, now," he called as he walked through the door, ducking down a little as to not hit his head on the low hanging fixtures. "why'd you run like that?" he as beside you on the bed, placing your long-forgotten items of clothing on one of the tables.

"why wouldn't i?" you turned the question on him. "i was humiliated," you began to pick at your nails. "i mean, you saw what happened. i was already flustered because you were kissing my neck and then i felt your boner because i couldn't just sit fucking still, which was embarrassing enough, but then the guy i like finds out i'm a virgin too! it was just too much. and then they were laughing at me and.... yea," you took a deep breath once you were done rambling.

"the guy you like?"

"you can't tell me you still don't know," you rolled your eyes once more before xavier grabbed onto your hands to stop you from picking at them like he normally does. "you. you know. it's you."

he didn't even say anything. it wasn't until you mustered up the courage to look at him that you saw a smile gracing his face.

"then you should know why ajax and enid dared me to do that to you in the first place," xavier scooted closer to you on the bed. placing one of his hands on your thigh. "i told them a couple weeks ago that i was starting to really, really like you-as more than friends. they went crazy, telling me you felt the same and everything, but i couldn't believe it. i mean, you're just... you're everything, y'know?

"i meant everything i said when i was outside. you're so sweet, and smart, and god, it takes everything in me not to kiss you when you look at me. because when you look at me, you really see me," xavier finished.

"kiss me," you told him in a soft tone.

"what?" his brows furrowed before you, with a shocking wave of confidence, swung one leg over his lap, now facing him and straddling his lap. his hands went to your waist

"i said kiss me," you leaned in closer to him. "please."

it didn't take anything else for him to bring one hand up to cup your face before finally connecting your lips. it wasn't like fireworks went off, or cannons bursted. it was more like a sense of belonging, welcomeness, and home. your lips had been craving him for so long, it was a sweet, cold treat in the summer as your tongues began to glide with one another.

once again, your hips couldn't contain themselves as they began to rock back and forth on his lap, this time successfully getting the desired friction exactly where you wanted it. you sighed into his mouth, your hands dragging through his hair as he began to nurse the same neck he was kissing nearly 45 minutes ago.

"i thought that would be the only time i'd have you to myself," xavier droned on. "i might've gone a bit overboard..." he laughed as he traced circles on your neck.

"what...?" you backed away from him before he picked up his phone, showing you with the selfie side of the camera how he had littered your neck with deep hickeys. "xavier!" you playfully shoved his shoulder.

"you better get used to it," he shrugged with a sly grin. "i can be territorial at times."

"god, as if you couldn't get any hotter," you began to peel off your dress, reaching for the hem before xavier swatted your hands away.

"let me," he ordered, you listened immediately, retracting your hands and placing them on his shoulders as he helped you rid yourself of your dress. "i don't even understand why you wore this since it's freezing outside."

"hmm," you mockingly acted like you were thinking. "well, when the guy i like is going to be in a place with booze, there might be certain possibilities and i wanted to look nice."

"you look better than nice," he pressed your lips together once more. "i was hard long before you even sat on my lap, y/n/n."

"please fuck me?" your voice was soft and whiny. "please? i want you, i just need you to-to y'know... please, xay?"

"you sound so pretty when you beg for me," he let his hand trace your neck before he buried his hand in your hair, gently tugging it back before admiring you in your nearly naked state.

"xay, please?" you were holding onto the hem of his t-shirt, nearly stretching it out with your begging.

"okay, love," he chuckled before swiftly tossing his shirt over his head, letting it land somewhere he wasn't concerned with. "now we're a bit more even, yea?"

"i just... i need you..." you were a squirming mess in his lap, to think an hour and a half ago you were pleading with yourself to keep your dignity and now you were begging for xavier...

"what do you need from me?" he teased, letting one of his hands trail down your front, hovering over your center. "i need to hear you say it for me. tell me."

"i need you," you sighed as you buried your head in his neck. "i need you to make me... make me cum?"

he chuckled maniacally, "is that a question? i thought i told you to tell me what you want?"

"please just make me cum xavier!" your frustration showed as you began to lazily press kisses to his neck. "please?"

he swiftly turned over so you were laying on the pillow at the top of the bed, him hovering over you with his hair falling to your face. he began pressing kisses down your body, gently squeezing your breasts and sucking on your nipples. eventually, after a few minutes of teasing, he reached your center. he moved your panties down your legs and began pressing kisses to your thighs, alternating between each one.

"has anyone ever done this for you before?" you shook your head 'no.' "is it alright if i do?"

"anything, xay, anything, please," you nodded as your hands tangled into his hair.

he pressed gentle kisses around your clit before licking one line through your slit, lapping up your juices like a man starved. you heard him moan into your pussy, the vibrations shooting through your core shocking you more than you thought possible. you reactively tugged on his hair, tossing your head back as he continued, now sucking gently, very softly, on your clit.

"oh my fuck," you breathed out, looking down at xavier to find his eyes fixated on you and your reaction. "god, you look so pretty, xay."

you felt him smile against your pussy, not letting himself get distracted by little compliments that he was sure melted his heart completely. one of his hands was gripping your thigh so hard you were sure there would be marks the next morning, the other hand was placed on your lower stomach, pressing down just slightly. he used the hand that was rasping your thigh and gently pushed a single finger in.

your mouth formed in an 'o' shape at the intrusion. his fingers were much longer than your own, and when he curled it inside of you, you swore you could see stars in his eyes as he continued to suck and kiss your clit. he gently thrusted his finger in and out a few times before adding a second finger.

"please don't stop," you were gripping his hair so tight you were surprised it hadn't ripped out. "'m so close, xay."

he stopped sucking your clit momentarily to say: "be sure to look at me when you cum."

you nodded dumbly as he got back to work, and it wasn't long until you were at that edge that no other man has ever been successful in bringing you to. at first you threw your head back before you remembered what you had promised him. with a few more thrusts of his fingers, you saw the look of pride on his face when he felt you squeezing his fingers in a vice grip, your mouth dropped open completely as pornographic moans left your mouth.

"fuck, yes, xavier!" you ground against his mouth as he worked you down from your high. "holy shit," your chest was heaving as he kissed his way back up your body.

he hovered over you as he sucked on the same two fingers that were just inside you, groaning, "did i tell you how amazing you taste?"

"will you fuck me now?" you reached down between the two of you to palm him through his sweatpants. "i really, really want you."

"i don't want you to just want to do this because you want to get it over with," you could sense the sincerity in his tone. "i want this to be more than just a hookup."

"it's not, xavier," you cupped his face with one hand. "i assure you, it's not," you smiled as he pressed your foreheads together. "you mean so much more to me than just one amazing night, xay."

"are you sure you want to do this?"

"yes."

"wait, i don't have anything..." xavier hinted with a worried look on his face.

"well, i'm obviously clean, and i've been on the pill since the eighth grade," you shrugged. "if you want..."

"really?" his eyes widened at the thought, you nodded. "i've never... shit. this'll be a new experience for the both of us."

after a bit of shuffling, xavier lined himself up at your entrance, looking at you one more time for confirmation. as he entered you, it was like the wind was knocked out of you. your arms wrapped around his neck as he continued to push himself into you. at a certain point, you thought it was never-ending.

"god, you're so tight," he breathed into your neck, pressing a kiss to one of your hickeys as he continued.

your head was thrown back as he finally bottomed out in you, one of your arms wrapped around his waist while the other was around his neck with your hand buried in his hair.

"so deep," you closed your eyes at the sensation. "'s like you're in my stomach, holy fuck."

he pressed down on that same spot he had earlier, very gentle, but you felt it so, so much. "is that where?" you nodded fervently.

"please move, xay, please," your hand was practically clawing at his back.

"i'm gonna go slow, okay?" you nodded at his words. "if you change your mind about anything at all, say the word and i'll stop, alright?"

"okay," you agreed with a smile as he slowly pulled back out before reentering at the exact same pace.

with each thrust, his pace increased. your moans' volume increased too. it was as if each whimper, moan, and plea was simply egging him on and bringing him to the end of that wonderful precipice of pleasure.

"you look fucking perfect," his own groans and huffs of pleasure rang out. "such pretty tits," he messily grabbed one of them. when he brought his hand down to play with your clit, you knew you weren't going to last much longer. "and such a pretty pussy for me. all mine, y/n/n. all mine."

"god, it's-i'm..." you were cut off by a guttural moan. "i need to cum. i'm gonna cum! xavier, please don't stop! please!"

"where do you want it?"

"inside, please!" you huffed out, clawing at his back as you whimpered in his ear. "need it so bad."

"say you're mine," he ordered. you could feel his dick pulsing inside of you.

"i'm-oh god," you cried out once more, tears forming at your lash line. "i'm yours! i've always been yours, xay, please! fuck!" for the second time, xavier was able to bring you off that cliff, this time he followed suit.

"so fucking pretty when you cum," xavier added before with a few more thrusts, his thick cum coated your walls. "oh fuck."

"oh my god," you sighed out as xavier slumped against your body, laying completely on top of you.

"you got that right," you could feel his smile against your shoulder before he began to press kisses against your warm skin. "here," he reluctantly got up from his position after carefully pulling out of you, tucking himself back into his sweats, and reached for one of his recently cleaned towels (he had a rotation for them, alright?). he began to wipe up your thighs, being very gentle at your center.

"xavier?" you called before he laid back down.

"yea?" he looked at your worriedly before you smiled, simply asking: "can i wear your shirt to sleep?"

a bright smile made its way to his face, "of course, yea," he helped you poke your arms and head through the shirt before he stepped back, admiring you in it. "i almost like this on you more than nothing on you. almost."

"xavier!" you called before shoving him to the side. "you perv."

"you like this 'perv,' as you call it," he rolled his eyes as he began to cuddle with you on the mattress.

"i wanna lay on you," you tried to get onto your knees to maneuver your way on top before he had to catch your arm.

"let me help you a bit," he tried to hide his smug smile while he rolled the two of you over.

"i'm never gonna live this down," you shook your head as he raked his fingers through your hair.

"nope," you laid in the most comfortable silence for a few minutes before he spoke again: "y/n?"

"mhmm?"

"i might've lied earlier when i said that i told ajax and enid that i liked you," you could sense a bit of restriction in his tone.

"what do you mean?" you held your breath.

"i told them the truth," he pressed a kiss to your forehead, getting your attention so you were looking in his eyes. "that i'm in love with you."

[longing-for-rain]

Katara and Mutuality in Relationships

There are lots of conflicting opinions about which characters Katara felt attraction towards, which characters she didn’t, and how long she felt that attraction. I see in most cases, people point to quick clips of her faintly blushing or kissing another character on the cheek as evidence, but I think these kind of takes miss the nuance of the purpose attraction serves in a story.

Most importantly, I see these characters treated as if they are actually people capable of making their own decisions. It’s important to remember that these are fictional characters. They don’t make their own choices; the writers make their choices for them for the purpose of telling a story. From that standpoint, it’s more valuable to examine how a character’s story and narrative themes tie into their relationships with other characters. Animators can shove in a kiss or a blush wherever they want, but it’s harder to demonstrate through storytelling how and why two characters might feel attraction towards one another, and how a relationship between them would develop both characters and contribute to the overarching themes of the story.

In other words, when discussing which characters Katara is “attracted” to, I’m discussing which relationships and actions within the narrative build on her established story and arc. Romance is always integrated into a story for a reason, and considering that reason is important.

Unfortunately, ATLA is very much a product of its time in this way. It’s easy to see what romance adds to the arcs of the male characters—but not so much with the female characters. All three canon relationships (kataang, sukka, and maiko) follow this trend to some degree. The primary purpose of the woman in this narrative is to act as a prize for the man for performing some good deed. Once they’re together, she ceases having her own motivations and becomes an extension of the male character she’s dating. This is pretty blatant with Suki—she barely had a personality in that later seasons; she is there to be Sokka’s girlfriend. Similarly, Katara becomes a completely different character—she’s even animated differently—when the narrative pushes her into romantic scenes with Aang. Her character is flattened.

So what is Katara’s arc, and how do the romantic interactions she has throughout the series contribute to this?

Well, that could be a whole other essay itself, but to put it simply, Katara’s arc is one of a young girl devastated by grief at a young age clinging to hope that she has the power to fight and change the world for the better. Which she does as she gains power and confidence throughout the series—culminating in her defeating Azula in the finale.

But the part I want to focus on here is how Katara connects with other characters. She connects with them over shared experiences of grief and loss.

Take Haru, for instance.

Haru: After the attack, they rounded up my father and every other earthbender, and took them away. We haven't seen them since.

Katara: So that's why you hide your earthbending.

Haru: Yeah. Problem is…the only way I can feel close to my father now is when I practice my bending. He taught me everything I know.

Katara: See this necklace? My mother gave it to me.

Haru: It’s beautiful.

Katara: I lost my mother in a Fire Nation raid. This necklace is all I have left of her.

Haru: It’s not enough, is it?

Katara: No.

This isn’t just a throwaway moment; it’s an important character moment that leads up to growth and the progression of Katara’s overall story, both in this individual episode and in the whole series.

Katara finds her power in the connections she’s able to make with other characters. It’s a powerful driving force for her that makes her a strong character even before her bending abilities develop. Imprisoned was such an important episode to establish who Katara is and what her power is, and adds so much to her arc.

But there is one line in particular from the above exchange that also stands out: Haru says “it’s not enough, is it?” and Katara agrees. Even this early in the series, we’re establishing the fact that despite her drive and hopeful outlook, Katara feels deeply hurt, she feels a deep sense of loss that she opens up about to other characters in moments like these. But unlike Haru…Katara can’t go rescue her mother. Her mother is dead, and we see her grapple with that grief throughout the series.

Another character she reaches out to like this is Jet.

Jet: Longshot over there? His town got burned down by the Fire Nation. And we found The Duke trying to steal our food. I don't think he ever really had a home.

Katara: What about you?

Jet: The Fire Nation killed my parents. I was only eight years old. That day changed me forever.

Katara: Sokka and I lost our mother to the Fire Nation.

Jet: I’m so sorry, Katara.

Another important note about Jet is that there are explicit romantic feelings from Katara in this episode. Again, Katara empathizes with another character through a shared sense of loss. Sadly, in this case, Jet manipulated her feelings and tricked her into helping in his plot to flood the village…but those feelings were undeniably there.

That was the tragedy in this episode, but it also gives the audience so much information about Katara as a character: what motivates her, and what she wants. Katara is established as a character who wants someone who will connect with her and empathize with her over her loss—her greatest sense of trauma. She wants to help others but also receive support in return. The reason why she was smitten with Jet, beyond just initial attraction, is because he gave her a sense of that before Katara realized his true motivations.

A lot of people make the claim that Aang is good for Katara because he also feels a sense of great loss and trauma. And while on paper that’s true…does he really demonstrate that? I just gave two examples of characters Katara connected with this way, and both responded with deep empathy to what she said. Very early on in the show—the third episode—Katara attempts to connect with Aang the same way. How does he respond?

Katara: Aang, before we get to the temple, I want to talk to you about the airbenders.

Aang: What about 'em?

Katara: Well, I just want you to be prepared for what you might see. The Fire Nation is ruthless. They killed my mother, and they could have done the same to your people.

Aang: Just because no one has seen an airbender, doesn't mean the Fire Nation killed them all. They probably escaped!

Just compare this exchange to Haru and Jet. No effort to empathize, not even a “sorry for your loss” or anything. It’s a stark contrast, and the reason for that is because this narrative entirely centers Aang. Katara’s narrative always seems to be secondary to his when they’re together—which is exactly my point when I say this relationship has a fundamental lack of mutuality. It’s built that way from the beginning of the series. It does not add to Katara’s arc nor establish what about this dynamic would attract her.

And, look, before someone jumps down my throat about this…I’m not saying Aang is a horrible person for this response. I think it’s a sign that he’s immature and has a fundamentally different approach to problems than Katara. Katara is a character who has been forced to take on responsibilities beyond her years due to being a child of a war-torn world. Aang’s approach to problems is avoidance while Katara never had that luxury. It doesn’t mesh well.

This is all in Book 1. I honestly could have gotten on board with Kataang if the series meaningfully addressed these issues…but it didn’t. In fact, they actually got worse in some ways.

Back to Katara’s mother. We’ve established that this is a core part of Katara’s character and like in the scene with Haru, she indicates that this is an unresolved issue that pains her. But then, in Book 3, Katara actually does get a chance to confront this pain.

This would have been a powerful moment. Surely the character who is meant to be her partner, her equal, would have been there for her. Surely he would have understood and supported her, fulfilling her narrative and adding to her story.

But Aang didn’t do that. I won’t go into details because there are a million analyses out there on The Southern Raiders, but Aang’s response to Katara was the opposite of understanding. He got angry with her, insinuated that she was a monster for wanting revenge, and tried to dictate her behavior according to his own moral values. And importantly, from a narrative standpoint, he did not go with Katara. One of the most important events in her arc, and Aang didn’t support her—he actually tried stopping her. He didn’t contribute to her growth and development.

Also noteworthy:

Katara: But I didn’t forgive him. I’ll never forgive him.

Even at the end of the episode, Aang clearly doesn’t understand at all what Katara is feeling. This line demonstrates it perfectly. He thinks she forgave him when that wasn’t the case at all…but of course, he didn’t even accompany her, so he didn’t see what actually took place. His worldview is fundamentally different from hers, and he’s consistently too rigid in his morality and immature to center Katara’s feelings.

Throughout Katara’s whole arc, her most significant character moments, Aang’s character just doesn’t come through the way Katara’s constantly does for him. Their narrative lacks mutuality. When Katara and Aang are together, she becomes an accessory to him. The ending scene is a perfect demonstration of this.

Now, to address the elephant in the room.

Which character does actually add to Katara’s narrative and support her growth as a character?

Correct! I just talked about how important The Southern Raiders is to Katara’s character and story, how it’s a chance for her to finally address the grief she’s been carrying since Book 1. And who stood by her side throughout this pivotal moment? Right—Zuko did.

You can talk all you want about how he’s a “colonizer” while Aang’s people suffered genocide, but you’re forgetting that “show, don’t tell” is one of the most basic aspects of storytelling. The fact is, despite how it looks on paper, Zuko was the one there for Katara at her critical moments. Zuko empathized with Katara more than Aang ever did—as demonstrated in this episode. Zuko never once brought up his own cultural values. Zuko never once told Katara what to do. Zuko’s position was that Katara should be the one to decide, and that he would support any choice she made. He supported her decision to spare Yon Rha, but he would have also supported her if she decided to kill him. I actually found this episode to be a satisfying reversal to what is typically seen in TV—for once, the female character is centered while her male counterpart takes the backseat and becomes a supporting role to her narrative.

Even before this, Zuko is shown to empathize with Katara.

Zuko: I’m sorry. That’s something we have in common.

I think what gets me about this scene is the fact that he’s still Katara’s enemy, and she was just yelling about how she hates him and his people. But despite that, Zuko still empathizes with Katara. She is fundamentally human to him, and he expresses that to her in a way that allows them to connect. Zuko stands to gain nothing from this. It’s true that Azula entered the picture and twisted things around—but in this moment, Zuko’s compassion is genuine. His instinct was to respond to her grief with empathy, just like she consistently does for other characters.

And finally, how else does Zuko add to Katara’s arc?

I don’t think there is any more perfect of an example than the finale itself—the culmination of the arcs and development of all characters.

Zuko and Katara fight together. In a heartbeat, Zuko asks Katara to fight by his side against Azula, because he trusts her strength. She’s his equal—both in his mind, and in a narrative sense.

Then, this:

Both of their roles are so critical in this fight. They both save each other. The scene has such raw emotion to it. These characters were together at the conclusion of their respective arcs for a reason.

This is the perfect conclusion to Katara’s arc. She just played a critical role in ending the war that has caused her trauma her whole life. She just demonstrated her mastery of waterbending (another thing she’s dreamed of throughout the series) by defeating the world’s most powerful firebender during Sozin’s Comet. Even though she had help as all characters do, these are victories that belong to her and demonstrate the growth and power of her character. And to top it all off? She was able to save Zuko’s life. She didn’t have to endure the pain of feeling helpless to do anything while someone else died for her; this time, she had an active role, she changed her fate, and she prevailed. Zuko plays an important role in Katara’s story without dominating it. They perfectly represent mutuality. They add to each other’s stories. Their narratives become stronger when they’re together, without one diminishing or sidelining the other.

So, from that standpoint, that’s why I always see the attraction between Zuko and Katara and why I see it lacking between Aang and Katara. Zuko and Katara’s story doesn’t need some cheap little throwaway moments to shine. It’s integral to both characters’ stories. We are shown not told of the way these characters feel about each other. Given everything we know about Katara, her goals, her values, her past loves…absolutely everything points to Zuko being the true subject of her feelings.

Because let’s be honest. The ending I just described is so much more powerful and so much more Katara than seeing her being relegated back to a doe-eyed love interest for Aang to kiss. It hardly even made sense—Katara played no role at all at the culmination of Aang’s arc. She was relegated back to a love interest, rather than the powerful figure we saw fight alongside Zuko.

[accio-victuuri]

i’ve thought about whether i should bring up the topic again cause i’ve already mentioned it earlier this month when WoF trailer came out. at the time it seemed kinda insignificant and a reach but it is gaining some traction in the fandom again. as usual, if something is even close to being important, it will always show up and the meaning is gonna be clearer the days go by. as soon as WYB shared his character poster and that coin was so prominent, the cpn became more solid. during the trailer, we didn’t know just how significant it was to the point that it’s Wei Ruolai’s symbol. he is not only holding it, but tossing it kinda like how GG did in the vlog.

yes, this is universally, how people do a coin toss so it’s not like some niche gesture that only the two of them will know. however the key here is how close it appears between them. the vlog is released 3/2 and then the new trailer for WoF 3/6. the first bts for yibo as lai lai was also of him studying the coin with his colleagues. i know it’s highly unlikely that the vlog’s whole concept was a way to tease us with WYB’s drama. let’s give credit to where it’s due, xz and his team have always been really creative with how they present their content. maybe at this point, xz was already kinda into this coin and the team thought about integrating it into his vlog’s theme and story. at the same time, this also made GG somewhat become a messenger that WoF is coming soon, we just didn’t pick up on it.

one other favorite speculation i love is how some are saying that this could be the same coin WYB’s Wei Ruolai is using. 🪙 that WYB took one from the set or got one of his own which is similar and gave it to XZ as a keepsake. and i absolutely love the thought of XZ taking it with him to a foreign country to remember him by. kinda like how in the lacoste show, WYB was wearing a lacoste necklace, but inside was the 🦴 because he had to have it on him.

A coin is not as flashy compared to if GG suddenly shows up with a jewelry on him and use it consistently like WYB does. This kind of lowkey thing to remember someone by is so on brand for GG. I also remember GG sneakily mentioning WYB’s character in one of his weibo posts that was shared last year, 3/5! What a coincidence! Why GG thought of (allegedly) giving that clue may mean Wei Ruolai is a character of WYB he is fond of. 🤍 think about it, at the time the vlog was released, no one knew about this tidbit about WYB’s character. that in itself holds weight for this cpn.

Let’s see, maybe this coin will show up again in GG’s vlog or whatever — by that time, we will know that is has more significance than a random vlog prop.

P.S: If you haven’t already, don’t forget to reserve WoF over at IQIYI App. Let’s support WYB’s new drama!

source.

[jpitha]

Between the Black and Grey 35

First / Previous / Next

Fen looked at the racks and racks of clothes in the store and sighed.

When Northern said that Fen 'owed her' she had no idea that part of paying that back was going... shopping.

Starbase Picaresque was an old, old station. Built around first contact with the K'laxi, it had undergone many different iterations. A science station, a seat of colonial government and even a bullwark in a few wars, these days it lead a much more... touristy life. Fine dining, shopping, and all inclusive entertainment were what it was known for these days. Out on the border between human and k'laxi space it was also where the closest Gate to human space was.

Such a nexus naturally lent itself to a comingling of sapients. When it was just the humans and k'alxi, there was an unusually high amount of integration. These days many different peoples call this place home, though most of them are here to work at all the different venues that are hosted.

Northern loved clothing. Fen had no idea when she first signed on because she packed so lightly, but as they settled and continued to work together, Northern's clothing hobby grew. Fen was much more of a practical, hard wearing clothes person, so this was a new experience for her.

Zhe was more interested than Fen was, and Picaresque had more than ample supplies of haute k'laxi fashion, so both of them were able to meander from store to store, eyeing outfits that would have made Fen's eyes water at the price when she lived at home.

Northern came out of the dressing room clad head to toe in a ball gown made of iridescent feathers. Fen had no idea what animal produced them, or even if the animal was real, but she shone when she walked, and as she spun, the long dress flashed and sparkled. "What do you think?"

"It's very... bright" Fen squinted as Northern spun again."

"Eeee, it's amazing Northern! Are you going to get it?" Zhe's tail swished as she squealed in joy.

"I don't know. I love it, but when would I wear it? It's not like we go out to dinner very often."

"We'll just have to start going out more, that's all!" Zhe said. She was carrying two or three bags of her own. She had already purchased two outfits and three pairs of shoes.

As the women talked logistics of how to use luxury gowns, Fen looked longingly towards the exit. As she did, she noticed a commotion outside.

There were a group of 5 women talking and gesturing animatedly. "Come on Meredith! I've heard of this place! They're supposedly the best in the outer colony worlds!" One of the woman, with long brown hair pointed at the store Fen was dying of boredom in.

"All right Emery, let's go see what they have and if it can even compare to Ganymede." said the woman in the center of the group. All of them wore similar outfits - uniforms really - though the young woman in the middle was wearing jewelry that was much more expensive. Fen had an eye for jewelry. Even growing up she was able to tell the cheap stuff from the expensive. It gave her a leg up when people asked her about stuff 'they found.'

The women poured into the shop and started talking all at once. Immediately Fen could smell the alcohol. If it was just another wine-soaked party it was one of a higher class. Stores like this tended to cater to people who spent a yearly salary on one outfit. Northern walked over to Fen and watched them, a robotic tailor shuffling after her and trying to fit the dress while she was still wearing it. "Who are those people, Fen?"

Fen shook her head. "Just some group of rich women day drinking I think. They have Sol accents. Probably out on a girl's weekend or something. The one in the middle is wearing very expensive jewelry though, check out that necklace she has on. That sapphire could probably buy a frigate."

Northern narrowed her eyes as she watched them stagger around the store. "Shit." She grabbed Fen by the shoulders and turned her around and marched her back to Zhe. "We gotta go. Now."

"What? Why?" Zhe was halfway dressed into a similar gown as Northern, but with a more k'laxi flare. Another tailor kept weaving as Zhe moved around.

"That's the Empress." Northern hissed.

Fen turned back to look at them. "Don't look at them!" Northern's voice rose. Fen turned back. "What? Her? The rich girl with the short hair?"

Northern nodded vigorously. "I'd bet anything that's her."

"Zhe peered around Northern. "Who is with her?"

"Some kind of honor guard or something. They probably are all super soldiers or something."

Zhe's tail flicked. "Are you sure? They look like party girls. They also look drunk."

"What?" As Northern turned to look at them again, she saw one of them taking a large drink from an unmarked bottle. The drinker passed it to the Empress who took a healthy belt of the beverage as well. "What the fuck?"

"Ancestors look at that dress! It's unbelievable!" Before they could react, the women came up to Fen and Northern and Zhe.

"Did you get that here?"

"What are those feathers?"

"Is that custom? It fits you so well!"

"Do you want to go shopping with us?"

Fen blinked. "W-what?"

One of the women nodded. She had hair that was half shaved and te rest combed up. She looked very rakish. "You three are cute, and you clearly have good taste. Well, except your bodyguard here-" she pointed at Fen "-but I won't hold that against you. Come shop and drink with us. My name is Alina, and this is is Kerry, and this is Emery, this is Tina she's Meredith." Alina pointed to Meredith, who was getting fitted for a dress by now.

"Uh, sure, okay." Fen said. Northern elbowed her in the ribs.

"Fancy! Come on. Meredith says she knows of the best place to get dinner. We were on our way there when we saw this place."

The ladies swarm Meredith while she gets fitted, offering suggestions and compliments. Northern crowds close to Fen. "Why did you say yes?" she hissed.

"I-I... don't know. If she's the Empress, maybe we should get to know her better."

"Fen you have an Empress Nanite package. Who knows what happens if you two get together. Who even knows if she still has hers. What do you think will happen if she finds out you have Nanites?"

Whatever happens, it will be interesting

Ugh, quite you. She thinks. "We're just being polite. We'll go out to dinner, get the bill picked up by the Empress of Sol, and be on our way. It'll be an experience. A story we'll tell over drinks."

"Also, she's pretty cute" Zhe adds, back in her regular clothes. "You think she's single?" She gasps "Do you think she likes k'laxi?" Her fur ripples a blush "Do you think she'll like me?"

"Easy there Zhe. Don't go trying to sleep with the Empress of Sol just yet. You haven't even met her officially." Northern laughs. "Though, it would be perfect if the Empress wound up dating a k'laxi. They are notoriously... xenophobic these days." She shrugs her shoulders. "You know what? Fine. We'll go to dinner and talk to them. It looks like only two of them are armed, and it's just concealed pistols. Heavy weapons aren't allowed on Picaresque anyway, so there is only so much damage they can do. She must be here unofficially because nobody had made any changes or attempts to bow and scrape."

"What?" Zhe looks confused.

"Zhe, if she's the Empress, then she should have like-" Northern gestures weakly "- a whole flotilla with her. Dreadnaughts, Super Dreadnaughts, honor guard, battalions of soldiers, nobles, all that kind of stuff. Just her and 4 ladies getting day drunk while shopping isn't very... imperial. Maybe she's just here quietly to try and not be Empress for a little while."

"So we should not admit to recognizing her?"

"Nah, we're just going to act like she's a normal ultra rich person with some friends."

"Northern, if you recognized her, surely others did?" Fen watches them continue to try on clothes, piling their purchases on top of the patient arms of another tailor bot.

"Maybe. But I imagine that half of the recognition people would have is of the pomp, not the person. By herself, she's just another young woman. I bet she isn't as recognized as you think. Also, anyone who does recognize her is probably worried about what would happen if they pointed it out. Her mother was... notorious about that kind of thing."

"What kind of thing?" Zhe looks up at Northern.

Northern makes an old gesture. She sticks out her thumb and draws it across her neck.

"Oh."

"Yeah, so. watch yourselves around her. She might be nice... or she might be nice until we say something she doesn't like." Northern frowns slightly. "I dont' like it."

They exit the store and stand around while Meredith and her crew finishes shopping. They come out a quarter hour later with almost as many bags as Zhe and Northern have. "Come on, it's this way" Alia signals as they start walking.

She leads them down the promenade towards the common area in the front. In Picaresque, the common is a large garden with a unique blend of Earth and K'laxi plants. There are subtle barriers to keep the Earth plants from taking over, but it all looks very natural and integrated. At Meredith's direction, Alina leads them towards a very elegant looking restaurant at the edge of the common. Fully half of the restaurant is in the common, open tables and booths interspersed among the plants, trees and water of the common. Alina and... Kerry heads up to the maître d' and speak to him in a low voice. Kerry gestures back towards the group and his eyes widen in surprise. He quickly nods and snaps his fingers.

Out of seemingly nowhere, three servers appear carrying a large table already set with a white linen tablecloth. They bring it out to a corner of the restaurant and slide the already existing tables and chairs out of the way. The evening is young and the restaurant isn't full, but they do have to shoo a few guests away towards another part of the restaurant. The maître d' clucking apologetically at them as they're settled elsewhere.

Before any time at all passes, the table is set with seats and table service for everyone. As they sit, the sommelier appears with a cart clinking gently with bottles. He presents a list - real, actual paper - to Meredith and she looks it over with a critical eye. She discusses a few things with the sommelier, and he nods solemnly. He looks up and makes eye contact with the maître d' and two more carts of wine are immediately brought out. A selection of 4 bottles are put on the table and opened. Meredith is poured a small sample which she sniffs, swirls, sniffs again and takes a tentative sip. She smiles broadly and the sommelier visibly relaxes. He leaves a cart of bottles next to her and wheels the other two away. Servers pour the wine - quite a healthy pour if Fen is any judge - and they all take a drink.

"To new friends!" One of the hangers on - Tina maybe? - toasts. Everyone mumbles agreement and drinks. Northern is very delicate with her sips; she told Fen she can eat and drink, but she doesn't like it much. Zhe demures as while the alcohol won't hurt her, the other compounds in the wine absolutely will and Fen takes a healthy sip. It's sour and fruity and dark and tastes of berries and dark chocolate and really is quite good. By the time she puts her glass down, Meredith is pouring another and her friends are most of the way through theirs as well.

Dinner is... an extended affair. It seems that Kerry told them who they were dealing with - if not outright saying she was the Empress then at least impressing how important she is - and the restaurant went all out. No menus, purely a menu based on the best ingredients the chef had as well as things for Zhe to eat, artfully prepared on fine china plates. More wine is poured as needed and Fen takes care of Zhe's glasses and eventually, Northerns and by dessert she's quite drunk.

"Tell me Fen, what's it's like being a mercenary?" Tina is staring at her, with her hands on her chin. Her eyes are deep and her cheeks are flushed. Is she blushing or drunk? Fen can't tell.

"s' not so bad. Lotsa assholes in the galaxy, and they need us to do something or other. Mos' of the time we're just bringing shi from one part of space to another. Somtimes people, sometimes boxes." Fen takes another sip of her wine, and Northern frowns - Fen didn't see it though. "Pays all right, and s' not tha hard. Bettern where I was before though."

Meredith perks up. "Oh? Where were you before?"

Zhe and Northern snap to Fen. "Oh, I was on some shihole station way out in Gren space. Grew up in a k'laxi family, had a wife, the whole deal." Fen's face darkens. "Then she was killed by some gangsters and I got the hell out of there. Guy helped me out too, but then dumped me into an escape pod outside Minaren. I wish I could see him again. Everything worked out, but man oh man was I pissed."

Fen looks around at everyone and takes another gulp of wine. As she puts her glass down, she sees someone walking behind the group in the common.

It's Gord.

"Holy shit! GORD! You shithead!" Fen jumps up out of her chair, knocking it over and launches herself over the elegant topiary as Gord looks up at his name being called in surprise.

Fen is too drunk to connect, and crashes into him bodily.

[starsreminisce]

So, I couldn’t help but think a little bit about rejecting mating bonds and how we were never told how it’s done. But what if it’s another thing that people are complicating because we’ve seen it already?

What if it is as simple as not accepting it?

Right now, the storyline between Elain and Lucien is whether she’ll accept the bond with Lucien.

We know that it will also follow her, that she will always feel it even through death, that she has the ability to ignore it.

We also know that Rhys said that sometimes the male will challenge the one the female chose.

All of these things happened to Feyre and Nesta in their books.

Feyre’s bond snapped with Rhys in the first book and we see the bond follow her as she mistaken it for the bargain with Rhys. She showed the ability to ignore it when she was planning her wedding with Tamlin except when she screamed through the bond for anyone to help. It wasn’t until Rhys was seriously harmed that she acted out of pure instinct to save him.

Nesta has learned very early on that she’s shielded her mind and kept it up. In ACOSF, Rhys had to ask permission to speak mind to mind to her, and she described it as opening a peephole for him. Her bond with Cassian snapped in Solstice, but she ignored it till right before the Blood Rite, and it wasn’t until Cassian chose to “kill” himself that we see her instinct overriding that shield.

We also have two suspected rejected mates who follow a similar path. Though, I don’t believe Mor and Eris are mates.

Both Eris and Helion had their mates choose other people. Mor chose to sleep with Cassian after she found out she was “sold” as Eris’s bride. Helion specifically said that LoA chose to stay with Beron even after they met in the equinox ball.

Elain had that opportunity but we are shown that she chose Lucien over Graysen three times in ACOWAR. She said Lucien’s name when Graysen reduced him as some High Lord’s son, she followed Lucien at the battlefield in its aftermath despite Graysen showing up to aid, and she stuck close to Lucien during the peace talks, not making a movement from Feyre’s POV to indicate her reaction when Graysen arrived.

We were only told she still wore his ring, stared at him as he walked away, and was watching him from the window as Lucien gave her space by talking to Vassa.

It’s not a stretch to say that the conflicts in the room, Lucien with Tamlin and Elain with Graysen carried themselves over to ACOSAF. Mor chimed in by telling Feyre both of them need time as they are not ready to face their bond. They both need to figure out what they want to do and who do they want to become.

And we are finally seeing the fruits of that labor bear in ACOSF in Az’s bonus chapter where Lucien becomes an integral part of the “brittle peace” between the Humans, Spring Court, Autumn Court, and we are told how strong the alliance is between Day and Night that I really don’t think Rhys would jeopardize that relationship. We also see Elain returning the necklace, letting us know that she isn’t going to wait for some male to come around to change his mind.

Honestly, maybe this is the second time Elain planned to reject the bond by choosing to be with Azriel and he fumbled so badly that she isn’t having it.

To the point that he found her necklace in his pile.

And what if Rhys knew more than he let on to Azriel, that he switched from implying that Lucien will challenge him to declaring Lucien can defend his bond, considering that not once in that exchange had Azriel acknowledged Elain making that choice?

[saintseiya-thoughts]

ALRIGHT SO !!

Shiryu as Hadès and How His Character Could Have Had More Screentime (this is going to be long and like...not even half of what I have to say sorry)

First of all : Shun is actually a good character for Hades, the whole kind guy turning into World's End Maker was a good plot twist BUT character wise he was already pretty central and full fleshed, Shiryu otherwise....erm (I rlly love Shiryu but he gets so bad/forgattable after Sanctuary...sick) + don't forget those are the main plotlines !!! I have a whole developpement in my head but you don't want to read a whole novel so please bear with me

I feel like he was tossed a bit of the side after the first arcs and it genuinely makes me sad, his character is a bit alike to Shun's on some points but except losing his sight every five episode well...he's not as well developped as Shun lmaoo 😭 that's why I believe it could have been interesting, even without the whole developpement points who are hard to add in a show like this, his character could have been a little more than what he is...Shun has a pretty shiny role, Seiya is the mc, Hyoga has a familial story or something like this every arc, and Ikki also has meaningful parts in fights/story, while I feel like Shiryu was often here because well he had to, but doesn't have a role that big (minus maybe in Asgard, but here he was a bit of an ass with fenrir for no reason so um 😭)

Anyway so ! First of all, Shiryu is the only one without a known family member (Seiya -> Seika, Shun -> Ikki, Hyoga -> his mom), no real backstory, nothing (thanks Ohko for trying at least, genuinely it made Shiryu's character rlly much cooler) so I decided to change it to give him at least something ! Also the necklace trope is also included but I won't extend myself on it, you guys know how it works

Changed his whole non existent backstory in the AU, basically, instead of being an orphan with the other kids, he would have been taken home by Dohko, who would have protected him from Pandora and Hades when his parents died from their attack (I always saw Shiryu as Chinese, I scrapped the whole brothers trope bc I don't like it + it's manga only) Dohko is a powerful Saint and could have done that.

I feel like he'd know Shiryu was like...different, his job is looking at the reincarnation of the Specters so yeah, he felt it. But killing a child, right after Athena was taken away and almost killed ? Yeah...no...he'd feel too bad, and would take Shiryu with him instead, keeping it to himself in hopes a good teaching and keeping an eye on him could prevent anything bad from happening (almost worked ig, oops)

It could make an interesting plot point with Shiryu and Dohko's dynamic, because as much as Shiryu likes him as a parental figure and master, he knows he's keeping secrets from him, and would feel some resent when learning about the truth y'know ??

After that it doesn't change much from the plot, except when it comes to dynamic within the Bronze group : Shiryu is sent to check what the hell is going on with the Galaxians Wars (a bit like Hyoga did in the manga), Ikki makes a whole ass mess, etc etc. Also it'd "explain" how Shiryu was so eager to end Ikki's life : he doesn't know him like the others do. For him he's just a threat to put an end to, which would be interesting dynamic wise too...Seiya would try to integrate him to the group, Shun, while understanding his view, would feel some kind of discomfort BEFORE trying to learn to know him better (I love their friendship srry), and I feel like he'd connect with Hyoga with the whole "My dad is a Gold Saint and while I love him well sometimes he tends to be a bit weird with me" and with Ikki I have a whole another plotline but I can't sum up that. This post is already long enough. Anyway the dynamics would have been changed and I think it's interesting to learn to know characters through someone who doesn't know them as much as they do know each other ?? Honestly most of the developpement is made in my head here are just the big lines

ANYWAY, back on track, nothing changes that much from the og anime before Hades (or it does change in my head because Shiryu was badly written in those ‼️or not written at all idk) and...yeah 😭 whole big mess...Dohko has to explain to Shiryu how and why he kept like...HUGE stuff from him all his life in order to protect him, also to Shion because "why the fuck didn't you say anything" (he cares for the kid and was afraid Sanctuary would take him from him), also I don't really remember how the whole Pandora plot point was made in the thread I made with the person on discord (sorry it was in march but I remember Pandora has a different plotline than in the og anime) but starting here it's just, yeah kinda the same I guess !! Except for the Ikki part/dynamic with Shiryu, but ONCE AGAIN it's a part of my Shiryu/Ikki plotpoint and it'd be too long (before some ask, YES, Ikki stops himself from killing him, because YES, Ikki cares about his friend group), also if it sounds silly sorry, but he sometimes (in the og anime) had a bit of extreme reactions, was willing to go pretty far to protect the people he cares about (Fenrir, Ikki...) and it could be a bit of a hint to his soul sometimes awakening to his Hadès self... He's not like, cruel or really mean, there's just sometimes something off about him, he sometimes "shifts" slightly and ppl can't really pinpoint what it is (not sure about this one does it make sense ???? Idk)

The most important parts of this AU are basically the developpement of his character through that "newcomer" lenses, learning to trust the others, and overall develop a more meaningful dynamic with them and giving him a bigger role !! I know it sounds a bit "Saint Seiya, everything is the same minus Shiryu is Hades" but there's more to that I swear, it's just hard to explain like this without making huge walls about dynamics

(Can you tell I'm shitting myself. Please don't be rude rlly, if you don't like the idea just ignore !!)

[twojackals]

I am a Multitude

Let's talk about my history with Islam, just for shits and giggles, because I have a funny feeling there's some people in (or outside of) my life who don't fully understand where that association comes from.

I reverted to Islam round about 2009 if I'm not misremembering. Reversion is the same as conversion, it's just that "revert" is a term suggesting everyone is meant to be Islamic from birth and thus someone "converting" is in fact going back to what is the default -- a reversion, if you will. I used the term then, so I'm using the term now.

I had previously been a Kemetic Pagan for about 10 years at that point, with 8 of those years being onward in a formal Kemetic organized religion, though I was a few years out already of having left that organization for the first time.

I did not enter Islam lightly. It was a long process over a couple of years getting to the point where I wanted to revert, and it was quite the tough decision to finally take my Shahada and make that complete step into the faith full-time. I took that step seriously, with a lot of forethought and no impulse, and I really did go in with a complete belief as well.

I was full-on Muslim for 3 - 4 years with no multi-trad tendencies, but slowly my Kemeticism came back to me and I started to mix the two together.

I returned to the Kemetic organized religion around the Kemetic New Year in 2019. Again nothing I did was rushed or impulsive, I had taken quite a bit of time before going back to understand where I was going and why, and I stayed there for about 4 years depending, culminating in the disastrous exit based on that organization's massive failure in just so many areas.

It took me a couple of months, but after I left that organization, I started to realize what a bizarre identity I had built up around myself over the last 4 years: this weird, single-focus, single-tradition identity as if there was nothing about myself that was "other". I only had Kemetic friends, only focused on Kemetic Deities and Kemetic practice, only did Kemetic things, only, only, only... and when I lost that "only" thing in a way (or I separated from what was a large integration in my life over the last 4 years), I felt lost.

For a moment.

Truthfully, on the inside, I was never "only". On the inside, I've always been multi-trad, whether that's my Scottish Folk Magic that has been partially passed down to me (that's a whole other discussion!), my Islamic traditions that I never gave up (no matter how long I was in that Kemetic organization, I never gave up my Salah and several other things as well -- it's just that I never talked about it, because Polytheists and Pagans tend to have chips on their shoulders about the Big 3), my Kemetic traditions -- my heart has always been multi-trad.

I've always made every choice in my life in terms of spirituality with careful study and consideration, and I've always wondered how that ended me up here... but now, I've been enjoying over the last 6 months being able to embrace the facts about myself, and I can be a multitude (at least for now), that no one can put me into a box, and I will continue to explore that no matter what anyone thinks about that.

I am not one thing.

I am many.

And that's ok. Some people will tell me it isn't, and they are what I like to call "wrong".

I have a necklace written in Arabic calligraphy that says "Indeed, I am near". I think that says everything I really need to know about the Divine right now.

I am going to explore this world the way I want to explore it.

[slotumn]

It's all headcanons and theories, but I think there's actually a really simple reason for why Almyra would want to invade Fódlan during the story aside from just "they like to fight lol"

Money and trade.

No seriously, consider how the 3H world (or at least the portion we know of) would look like from Almyra's POV:

Not only is Fódlan an untapped market, if you can get through Fódlan you can get to Brigid, and then Dagda, which is a whole another continent that they can make money in.

What would really piss off Almyra from an economic point of view is that, technically, Fódlan does trade with them. But presumably there are lots of limits for foreign merchants, given that the Church places bans on various items. Probably means a bunch of stuff is going to waste after they've gone through the effort of hauling it over the border. Like damn we brought all this good shit over and you're telling us we can't sell it??? Oh my god what are you doing don't fucking throw it away!!!!

And it would be one thing if this was for like, a hundred years, but Fódlan has been on this shit for about one thousand years. Imagine.

From this perspective, I also think it's interesting that the big Almyran invasion that resulted in the establishment of Fódlan's Necklace and Officer's Academy happened a few decades after Leicester, seemingly the most mercantile of Fódlan's nations, became independent.

If they've always been Fódlan's neighbor, and if they have an army that's capable of fighting (to say the least), why did the big invasion occur in 961? As in, why not earlier? What exactly was the thing that made them go, "okay fuck it the best option is all-out military action?"

Maybe something like the newly formed Leicester Alliance promising freer trade but walking back on it or not delivering?

Tbh I think that practically, Fódlan would actually be an unattractive place to outright annex and rule for Almyra. Achieving military victory is one thing, being able to integrate them into your rule is... another thing. Fódlan would probably be a difficult and annoying vassal state, given their long history of isolationism bolstered by religion.

But even if you don't outright annex them, you can totally drag over military forces to get favorable trade terms!

(Linked examples aren't obviously comparable 1 to 1 to Fódlan and Almyra's situation considering they're from 19th century while 3H world is still pre-industrial as of canon era, but the gist is, military action on isolationists due to economic motivations)

Of course the catch is that the Almyran invasion of 961 was driven off, and if the motivations really was something like what I theorized above, they failed to achieve their goals for the time being.

Nonetheless, the invasion still had tremendous impact on Fódlan's history; it took a lot of effort to drive the Almyran military off, and it put all of Fódlan on high alert, to the point that they established Officer's Academy to fend against such future threats. It's also notable that unlike in the First Mach War, the Fódlanis apparently couldn't afford to try a counter-invasion on Almyra like they did with Brigid and Dagda— whether that was because Almyra was too strong, or because Fódlan was too weak (and falling behind technologically), or both.

And on the one hand, you can see Fódlan's combination of isolationism + myopia + superiority complex from the reason why Officer's Academy and Fódlan's Necklace was established, but on the other hand, that was probably when some smarter Fódlanis began to realize: things can't keep going like this, something has to change. They managed to drive off the invasion once, but what if it happens again? If they stay stuck in their own bubbles while the rest of the world progresses, if other nations gain weapons and technology that can surpass the Relics and Crests, Fódlan is completely and utterly fucked.

Then fast forward about a century later and, indeed, something does change, due to the events of 3H. No matter the route, Fódlan changes. And Almyra probably got some nice trade deals with their neighbor there so, good for them.

Tl;dr if I was an Almyran ruler I'd totally invade Fódlan then force them to sign an unequal trade agreement, and I would have done it way earlier than 961 so I think the Almyrans were pretty patient in-universe, actually

[amaranthsynthesis]

Hey um, if its not too much trouble (I get sometimes a character is trans and that's not the big part of his story) would you mind talking about that for Ballard?

I'm trans and its been really nice seeing all the trans Tavs/Durges. Ballard is my fav. :3

hi anon it is not too much trouble at ALL, I have a lot of thoughts about trans characters in fantasy in general and Ballard in specific because I am incapable of being chill even for a moment. THANK YOU for asking and for saying he's a fav <3 <3 <3

Quick disclaimer: Like. A trans character (either hc or oc or canon) is never gonna be something I don't love; I remember when this just wasn't something you saw in fandom spaces at all, let along in actual media. I remember reading Khaos Komix in 07 or 08 and getting to Tom's story and feeling so strange and overwhelmed in a way I genuinely did not understand for another decade, bc I didn't even know it was an option, let alone one that I was identifying with--and I didn't encounter it again for fucking ages! But we're here now!! That's exciting!! That being said: I don't really get a ton out of settings where it's normalized and perfectly accepted and easily obtainable, the kind of toothless fantasy escapism that just tacks it on like it changes nothing about that character's childhood or adolescence or relationships or ability to connect with others. I'm not saying every setting has to be violently transphobic (although there is a kind of validation to that kind of story!), but the opposition to/hostility to/ignorance about transness is such an integral part of my experiences that I don't connect without those elements. So all of my trans characters (which is most of them, at this point) are very deliberate in how I conceptualize their gender and how it affects their story.

So to Ballard specifically! Backstory dump et all below the cut, this turned out.... rly long. I'm doing an ask game as well, feel free to send some questions in :3

Ballard grew up in Menzobarrenzen, fostered into House Halvyriin after the Matron received a dream from Bhaal about the baby he made and just kind of dumped on the side of the road (thanks dad). Drow society is matriarchal, and he was raised as female with the intention of taking a leadership role in the House and in Menzobarrenzen in general--his education consisted entirely of martial skills, diplomacy and communication, oration, discernment, etc. He wasn't permitted to learn any of the arts, or to really associate at all with anything 'frivolous'. Getting a beautifully crafted knife and just wishing for it to have been a necklace, or a doll, or a lovely tunic. I think he understood even at the time that this wasn't even a standard all girls had to meet, or even all presumed-heirs, but because of his nature he had to be the best weapon possible, without weakness or flaw. They do not hide it from him that he's Bhaalspawn, and in fact make it very clear that he was a gift to them from Bhaal and he has a grand purpose to achieve, but in the House and in the world outside.

His training was accelerated, and very intense, because the first time the Dark Urge came for him he was six years old and took out a a dozen or so people in the House before anyone thought to be prepared for a two foot tall murder machine--mostly servants or slaves, so the Matron was able to take it in stride easily enough, but after that he was very closely monitored and controlled, and severely emotionally repressed. This is the first time Sceleritas Fel showed up, after the bloodbath when Ballard was alone again. He offers some amount of advice and comfort, and indicates he knows much that Ballard does not: "You are ahead of schedule, my lady--no, that's not right at all, is it? Worry not, my lord, and know that your father has a plan for you. You must focus on your lessons, for now, and we will meet again in time."

(I think if you have a demonic butler who can die and be resurrected with zero difficulty or complication he SHOULD have some weird timeline powers, imo. Love Sceleritas as comedic relief, but also as the first and only genuine care even approaching parental feelings that Ballard ever had.)

He's six, so he fuckin forgets, and the urge is quieted enough that it doesn't trouble him for another ten years; so he very dutifully allows himself to be pruned and shaped into a perfect female heir and a perfect tool. At 16 he has his first period, and that, combined with the effects of puberty he is already having, drives him into a rage he cannot define the source of. He is in the process of destroying his room to the stonework when Sceleritas comes back--he only doesn't immediately kill him because he's so surprised to see this person he had assumed was a figment of his childhood imagination. They go through this whole exchange of 'my lord', 'why are you calling me that', 'I'm not wrong, even if you don't see it yet', 'well I don't have time to deal with this right now do I so (chucks it back in the vault)'. And then Ballard only interacts with the concept of his gender very intermittently and with both hands over his eyes for the next twenty years. Sceleritas is very firm in only calling him 'my lord' and 'young master' as he teaches him knives, poisons, etc but he simply does not address him in mixed company, which is not very often. Everyone else finds him deeply disturbing.

Only two other people ever know, while he still lives in the underdark. The first is Imton, a follower of Loviatar who is brought in as one of Ballard's many tutors to teach him a) 'to teach him stoicism in the face of pain' and b) to teach him how to apply violence and brutality without killing. (He is based on every fat drag queen I have ever fallen briefly in love with from the audience seating--super pretty, gorgeous, draping clothing, tons of jewelry--very sparkly shiny). Imton is known as 'the Jeweled Whip of Menzobarrenzen'--he is a very highly regarded sex worker, as much as anything else, and he ends up being Ballard's first lover. He has a lot of feelings about his first time, since Imton was still teaching as much as he was fucking and Ballard was somewhat infatuated with him, but he has such a bad physical reaction of disgust and shame afterward.

That's the final nail in the coffin for 'ah, I cannot keep ignoring this, can I' and he ends up having a bit of a breakdown trying to explain it to Imton without having any of the necessary vocabulary. Imton, being a worldly and reasonable guy who interacts with people who are not just Lolth and Bhaal worshipers, is like 'Ah! Ok. I can work with that. Let's get you some information.'

(Imton gave Ballard his dagger earrings he wears most every day and is also who the Emperor sniped it's dream guardian look from, fun little facts that don't make me upset at all.)

The second person to know is the Matron Halvyriin, and it is not until the second time Ballard tries to challenge her when he is 36. (A 'challenge' being my way of reconciling WotC 'elves reach social maturity at 100' with the actual timeline in BG: drow are expected to mature faster, and can prove their growth by besting their head of house in combat in order to be treated as full adults). His first, a decade prior, he failed; it's not expected that this time he will succeed either, as most don't until their 50s. He does manage to beat the Matron, however, to everyone's surprise including his own. She expresses the first pride she ever has in him, and says he will be the best Matron the House will have seen in generations when he takes the position from her.

Ballard confesses that he cannot be the Matron, and reveals himself to be a man to her, and it all goes to shit very rapidly after that.

He explains to Gortash later than any other Matron would most likely have killed him for that, and that she would have, too, if she had not loved Bhaal more than Lolth. She tried instead to banish and disown him. "Her mercy was her own ending," he says. He killed her and most of her guard and then everyone between him and the exit, and he burned House Halvyriin behind him when he fled. Later he finds out hardly anyone survived, and the house itself is no more--he still uses the house name so other drow are occasionally surprised to find some far-flung male of the lost House Halvyriin.

Sceleritas guides him to Baldurs Gate, when he leaves the underdark, and he's able to use some of the information Imton gave him to pursue transition. I imagine that HRT isn't too difficult to find, given alchemy being so easily accessible, but it is a bit more specialized so not every shop will be able to help. Part of me wants to say Sceleritas helped with top surgery but we have seen his surgical skills and I do not think that wise! It's reasonably straightforward at this point, except that the combination of the dark urge, a lifetime of repressed emotions suddenly given the opportunity to express themselves, and the hormonal volatility of second puberty means that for a year or so Ballard has a really hard time maintaining control of the Urge, and does a couple of really badly managed murder sprees he doesn't remember well.

This is before he's able to take control of or clean up the remnants of the Bhaalist cult in Baldur's Gate, so he ends up commandeering like a single dingy cell in the temple to lock himself in werewolf-style whenever he takes the potion equivalent of his shot every couple of weeks. Once his body got used to the new hormones it settled down! And, freed from the expectations of the rigid society he grew up in, he experiments more with pretty things. Earrings, necklaces, costume jewelry just as much as actual gold or silver, beautiful and embroidered and sheer fabrics, growing his hair out, wearing makeup etc. He likes to be pretty. He doesn't let it impact his mobility or access to weaponry, and he has to be fairly practical about things getting ruined by blood, but he's never without some simply jewelry or makeup prior to the tadpole.

I imagine that trans people aren't common in Faerun, but they aren't super unusual either. Most of Ballard's lovers have been surprised to find that he doesn't have the equipment they expected, but are reasonably willing to adapt to the situation. Bottom surgery isn't something he is interested in, but there are certainly some options available for both sides of the fence, both in terms of actual surgery and in terms of augmentative devices.

After the tadpole, when Ballard doesn't remember anything, he doesn't even think to wonder about his body or top surgery scars--it registers as normal. If prompted he is able to retrieve the information, but it's also very funny to imagine the first encounter he has with Astarion has a brief moment of 'what is THAT' (local man has forgotten about penises).

This is such a ramble and I'm sure I will remember things I meant to include later, but yeah! There are soooo many trans tavs and durges and they have been nothing but a delight to see, I love them all and I love hearing everyone's interpretations.

[gameofthronedd]

Daemyra: Archaic Vs Contemporary, Bias and Double-Standards

One thing that really ruffles my feathers in regards to support of Daemyra... is being all "Well, in medieval times..." but not applying that same logic to other aspects of the show and characters.

In the Daemyra situation, it's the logic of "no, he isn't a gr***er because at the time Rhaenyra is eligible for marriage and is a 'woman grown'". But there's a completely different attitude involved when it comes to the situation with Rhaenyra's bastards and premarital sex.

Warnings for: mentions of gr**ming minus the asterisks for brevity/accessibility/readability etc., long post, cursing/strong language

If we're using period/universe accurate logic, then, yes, perhaps Daemon's relationship with Rhaenyra isn't strange and it certainly isn't uncommon (see: Viserys and Aemma, Rhaenys and Corlys). However, I think that if you're using in-universe logic then you can't really maintain integrity whilst losing your shit when someone points out that Rhaenyra's actions are politically problematic and, daresay, inappropriate (using in-universe logic, of course!).

Based on contemporary morals, we know that premarital sex isn't inherently bad (except in the eyes of some religions, for example) and that having bastards is not a bad thing (obviously may be an issue for the aforementioned). We know that women can be sexual beings and find pleasure in that, that agency and autonomy are important for women just as it is for men. So on, so forth.

But with contemporary morals, we also know that Daemon's relationship with Rhaenyra when she is young is inappropriate. In the first episode, she is 14/15 and is involved in what may amount to grooming (such as gift-giving as seen via the necklace which is specifically crafted for her). We also see that Daemon provides and fulfills her desires for freedom and adventure, and he does pose as this "untouchable bad boy" figure.

When she's about 18 in Episode 4, Daemon takes her to the brothel and allows her to explore sexuality... before abandoning her and leaving her exposed, and consequently compromising her integrity. Whilst she is the "acceptable" age here, by contemporary morals I'd assume that we can all agree that it is inappropriate for Daemon to take Rhaenyra to a brothel and put her in a physically dangerous situation, away from the safety of the Kingsguard and her sworn protection, and to then leave her there in that situation.

It just appears strange to specifically rely on in-universe/period appropriate logic solely for the Daemyra situation yet other issues being addressed through this perspective are met with anger. Personally, I think both should be used and interrogated. But most Daemyra supporters I've seen tend to have a more contemporary stance on other issues yet only apply this in-universe logic to the Daemyra situation, and dislike it when such a perspective is applied to Rhaenyra's situation.

In regards to that, and as an example...

Based on archaic logic (I'm just going to call ASOIAF/in-universe/period-accurate logic "archaic logic" from now on lmao), Rhaenyra engaging in premarital sex, whether with Daemon or Criston, would be considered inappropriate. Women would be expected to remain a "maiden" until marriage and it would be highly dishonourable to engage in sexual activities before marriage. Rhaenyra's adventure to the brothel (and subsequent engagement with Criston - though the former is the extent of what the important figures become aware of, excepting Alicent) places her in a precarious decision in terms of her integrity as a woman & as heir.

From a contemporary perspective, we know that's bullshit. Men, Viserys and Daemon both included, frolick often in brothels and their sex lives are not as highly criticised as women. I can't name a male heir or ruler in the ASOIAF universe whose legitimacy and position was/would be called into question because he had sex. Yet Rhaenyra, being a woman, inherently faces prejudice if her engagement in premarital sex becomes widely known. We know, as a modern audience, that Rhaenyra's sex life shouldn't be everyone's business.

But why is it unacceptable to consider an archaic perspective when considering this... yet we can only use an archaic perspective to discuss Daemyra?

The obvious answer is bias, of course. I'm not into shitting on people's enjoyment. Like what you like, I won't stop you. But I'm going to critique because, uh, I can. And my personal bias is not for Daemyra, if you couldn't tell. So, anyway...

The HOTD fandom is a situation where lines are drawn and there is very transparent bias. I'm biased, you're biased, we're all biased. That's life. The situation with Daemyra definitely shows that.

Fans of Team Black, especially diehard Rhaenyra stans, tend to rely more heavily on contemporary/modern values and morals... except for Daemyra fans, whereby there's a noticeable shift towards archaic logic. This is noteworthy because it evidences that the subconscious bias recognises that sticking to contemporary values would result in having to make excuses for behaviours that are noticeably inappropriate aka grooming. So it's easier to rely on archaic logic to explain it away as being appropriate for the time. Ta da, no moral quandary!

The issue here isn't that they're using archaic logic because then I'd be a hypocrite. The issue is that those in this locus are transparently making an exception for themselves to avoid addressing the behaviours that are inappropriate based on contemporary values, whilst being critical of archaic logic being applied elsewhere. Obviously, the same can be said about other groups and situations.

My point is this:

Analysis of HOTD is interesting and media literacy of any entertainment content allows us to perceive the world in different ways and address a variety of issues in society, as well as understand the characters, ourselves, others and the world.

I think it's good to consider both archaic and contemporary attitudes towards different situations presented in HOTD. I also think it's good to be aware of and reflect upon personal biases, and perhaps scrutinise more closely why we instinctively shift towards one form of analysis, archaic or contemporary, over another.

Personally, I think that the show's narrative somewhat purposefully portrays Rhaenyra and Alicent's interactions with "romance" as both highlighting the damage patriarchy can inflict upon young girls, and the different ways it can manifest. Alicent is married off to an old man against her will and has his children whilst still being a child herself. Meanwhile, Rhaenyra is being drawn into sexuality and romance by Daemon, more or less being "lured" into what is expected of women as well as being lured into a precarious situation that places her wellbeing and position as heir at risk.

Both are women being manipulated as pawns of the patriarchy. Alicent evidently has no choice, devoid of her agency as a girl, whilst Rhaenyra has the illusion of choice, believing she is in control whilst being pulled left and right by Viserys, Otto, Daemon etc.

I could definitely go into more detail. But, anyway, those are just my thoughts on the double-standards of the Daemyra situation. Just a personal pet peeve. I feel like if you're supporting Daemyra then there's a necessity to acknowledge the contemporary/modern perspectives of it, especially if being critical of instances where archaic logic is applied elsewhere. Hope that makes sense 🙏🏻

[payattentiontothescreen]

Bridgerton Rewatch S1E4 - An Affair of Honor

Here we go with episode 4! Just as a warning before getting into this one, I was kinda high when I watched this episode so my notes are pretty incoherent. I’ll do my best to interpret them.

When Daphne and Violet go to the palace, there are those upper-crust dumbasses calling Daphne a commoner. Obviously that’s a pretty crazy thing to say about the Bridgertons but that’s how everyone at court sees them. Once you get to the absolute top of society, the family of a viscount is basically destitute. It just proves how Daphne would never have fit into this part of society.

I’ll talk more about the necklace later but for now I just need to say that it looks insanely uncomfortable.

Alice Mondrich comes in swinging during Simon’s pity party before the boxing match. She’s so great, I can’t wait to see more of her in season 3.

It’s funny but also sad that everyone is so confused when Mr. Finch comes calling for Philippa. It’s like no one actually believed in the girls’ abilities to attract anyone. It’s not unfounded, but it still sucks.

Some of the greatest dramatic irony in this show comes when you watch the first season after learning Lady Whistledown’s identity. Eloise talks about how much she admires LWD because she doesn’t spend her nights “simpering at the edge of a ballroom” (not the exact quote but still). Little does she know that LWD/Penelope does exactly that almost every night, which is why she has the information she does.

I have a feeling that there’s gonna be one really strange outing per season. This season was the boxing date with Daphne and Friedrich. Like, it makes sense in context but imagine having a conversation about kids and what kind of family you’re looking for in the middle of a boxing match.

Daphne staring at Simon’s forearms will always make me chuckle. Those forearms got my girl dizzy, it’s hilarious.

I will be saying this a lot but I think Benedict and Henry should have kissed. I remember watching the show for the first time and being very disappointed that they didn’t kiss. Every time I go back, part of me hopes that it’ll be different this time but I know it won’t.

The art of background acting is so underrated. I had this noted at the point when Anthony tells Daphne that Friedrich asked for permission to propose. Claudia Jessie isn’t technically a part of the scene but she is still in character, acting her heart out as Eloise. The facial expressions are killer, it’s amazing. 

The scene where Daphne admits to Violet that everything between her and Simon was “fake” is so good. You can tell that Daphne is trying to convince herself of everything she’s telling her mother as if it’s fact. The hurt and desperation is so present, it’s crazy.

I have a lot of thoughts on high society racial integration part of Bridgerton’s world but writing about it here would completely derail this post. That’s gonna have to come later.

The mood whiplash coming for Benedict after Henry tells him that second sons have all the fun is gonna hit him like a freight train.

I get so much secondhand embarrassment from Eloise confronting Mrs. Wilson about Lady Whistledown. I take my headphones off during that scene, the cringe is too much.

Colin is so in love with Penelope and so clueless about it. I am so looking forward to him finally realizing his feelings.

So we have made it outside of the Trowbridge Ball and here is where I talk about the necklace. This gift absolutely had to be a necklace. Nothing else would have shown how suffocated she felt by Friedrich’s affections. When she took it off, she breathed like it was physically choking her. That imagery is so powerful, especially with Simon watching Daphne release herself from the grasp of the prince.

Simon here bugs me because he’s practically talking Daphne out of marrying Friedrich when he knows it’s the best course of action. He’s getting in her head while ignoring the fact that he will refuse to marry her. Like, what was he actually trying to accomplish? I understand that this is why Simon and Daphne get married but he gets under my skin a little bit here.

Quick little side note, I don’t know if this is a cinematography thing or weird direction that didn’t play out on camera but Simon and Daphne getting it on in the garden looks so awkward and uncomfortable? To me, at least. I didn’t find it very sexy, just awkward.

And thus begins my favorite part of season one, the wild melodrama of the duel. I don’t know how they managed it because the situation is bad and the stakes are real but it still plays out very over the top. I love it so much.

We have made it to the point in the first season where Marina becomes kind of shitty. It gets worse later on but here is where we start to see it.

“Not everyone can be a pretty Bridgerton” may be harsh, but it’s true. It’s more present in the second season but Eloise doesn’t actually understand her position. She is a member of the family with some of the most social capital in the ton and it is largely because of their looks. All this to say that the Bridgertons are pretty privilege incarnate.

Something I love about Simon and Will’s friendship is how much is said without words. It shows how well they know each other in such a great way.

This is what I wrote down: “Addiction is a disease but Lord Featherington is a fuckhead.” I don’t think I need to elaborate on that one.

I’ve been trying to avoid talking too much about Siena because I’m not a fan of her storyline but it’s wild to me that she gets upset when Anthony leaves for the duel. He literally told her that he was dueling at dawn. That’s why he was there, that’s why she let him in. Why is she making a face about it now? This is something else that I could be misinterpreting but it just stood out as I was watching.

The duel is so good. It’s so extra and overdramatic. I know it wasn’t meant to be but let’s be honest, no one was gonna die. So it just reads as so over the top to the outside observer. At least to me, it does.

I don’t know how much there actually is to say about it but something that stood out to me was the way the conversations with the seconds went. Anthony has very clear instructions for Benedict and makes sure that he knows them, even once they’ve already gone through the whole thing. When Will asks if Simon wants him to make any arrangements, Simon tells him that his affairs are in order and nothing else. If that doesn’t say a lot about their family lives, I don’t know what does.

Something that I always notice when I watch Daphne getting shot at is the reactions. Simon runs for her as soon as the horse bucks. Anthony runs for her when she falls. There’s a lot of things that could say but I’m not gonna assign a specific interpretation here because I can’t decided on one.

My final note on this episode was “gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss” and I think that’s a very fitting end to this notes session.

As we get closer to season 3, I'm concerned that I won't be able to watch the whole thing beforehand but let's see.

[hotforharrysheart]

Spreading You Open Part 1

The Dublin show was incredible even though Harry had a hard time keeping his pants pulled up and at one point his microphone cord wrapped around his belt buckle mid song. And it’s doubtful you’ll ever forget the moment during As It Was when he smacked himself in the mouth with the mic. He said he thought for sure he broke a tooth, but that’s not the first time he’s hit his mouth on the mic. You couldn’t help but giggle and tell him with his wild dance moves he needed to insure his beautiful face. Overall, it was fantastic as usual.

You’d both gotten up early the next morning to head to the airport to fly to Cornwall. Truth be told you were looking forward to some quiet time at the pink cottage. You had a lot on your mind with the upcoming travelling leg of the tour. Between work and the constant travelling status you weren’t quite sure what to expect. You found yourself making endless lists in your head and on every electronic device you were using in hopes you didn’t forget something or forget to schedule what needed to be done to stay up to date on the cases you were looking into for the podcast. Needless to say, your laptop, phone and tablet had lists upon lists of things to do before the flight to Germany.

Harry was so happy and looking forward to being on the road. You hoped his fans realized just how much of himself he gave to perform for them, but, for Harry, it didn’t matter if they did, he loved what he did and if he had only a handful of fans he would still give as much of himself. He was, however, one of the most popular musicians on the planet at the moment and he viewed that as a responsibility he would uphold with humility, integrity and kindness. This was his life calling.

As you’re boarding the plane Harry receives a call from his tour manager.

“Yeah, everythin’ good ta go? Great, great… Oh, jus’ the usual… like we did las’ time,” he says through his earbuds.

“Gonna be great! Yeah, ’m s’glad she’s goin’ too,” Harry said pulling you in close to him.

You smile a small, forced smile up at him playing with his initials on your necklace. You were glad everything was “good to go” for him, but you were starting to feel the pressure. It’s old-hat, routine, been-there-done-that-got-the-touring-t-shirt of the band, the staff, the management and most of all to Harry, but this was a first for you. Living your life on the road felt like a daunting task, but you refused to be Debbie-Downer or a pest asking a ton of questions. You’d go with the flow and keep making your lists to ease the anxiety. You lay your head back on the seat and close your eyes, for now you’d will yourself to sleep, after all you were going to the cottage and there you could relax, fingers crossed.

Harry ends the call and looks down at your head on his shoulder. Your eyes are closed, but your brows are furrowed like you’re distressed. He hopes maybe you’re just tired from the early morning. “Nothing some cottage time can’ fix,” he whispers into the top of your head as he kisses you lightly. “I love ya, baby.”

The flight flew by and before you know it, you’re in Cornwall.

“Baby, s’time, we’re abou’ ta land, ya awake?” he says cupping your cheek and kissing your forehead.

“Mmmm…yup, ‘m wake,” you mumble sleepily. You guess you haven’t been sleeping as well as you thought with all the changes on your mind, but the lulling drone of a plane engine will do it every time.

“Ron left tha Rover fo’ us, s’we can go straight ta tha cottage, sound good?” He says combing his fingers through the hair on the side you were sleeping on.

You help him smooth your hair down and take a moment to pull out a compact to make sure you don’t have smudged make-up.

“Look beautiful, babe,” he says smiling at you.

“Thank you,” you say smiling softly.

“Ya ok, sweet’eart?”

“Oh, sure…I suppose I was just more tired than I thought,” you say, not about to pour water on his excitement by sharing your concerns and anxieties. You smile softly, “Be happy to be at the pink cottage with you…”

“Good, got’a surprise fo’ ya, but you’ll hafta wait,” he says brushing your nose with his just before laying a sweet kiss on your lips.

“You spoil me, H, more than you should.”

“No, I don’, love surprising ya!”

“Just know Harry, that you’re all the surprise I need and, God, what a surprise you’ve been,” you say kissing his lips, “a beautiful… amazing…surprise.”

“Love ya,” he says smiling proudly.

“Love you too.”

“Let’s go hibernate in our cottage for a couple of days, yeah?”

“Sounds divine,” you say groaning.

When you arrive the cottage is clean, the fridge is stocked with all your favorites and Helen has left a pan of warm peach cobbler, the scent of cinnamon and peaches filling the air. You stand at the sink and look out the window to the deck and across to the pond where the ducks are hovering at the edge. The ducklings born this spring aren’t quite as big at their parents, but they have grown so much since the last time you were here. “That reminds me,” you mumble to yourself pulling out your phone. Opening the task app you scroll through the twenty five or so lists you have of things to remember to do, find the one you were looking for and type in a reminder to contact the kids of the main detective you work with at the LAPD to let them know you won’t be able to attend their summer talent show because you’ll be out of town. You know they’ll understand, but you hate letting them down.

You feel Harry’s arms wrap around your waist as you’re closing the list back to the main app screen. “Whatcha doin’”

“Just making a reminder to myself,” you answer.

After he kisses your ear lobe he says, “Are all those lists reminders?”

“Yeah, got a lot to remember…,” you chuckle nervously.

“D’ya ‘member this…,” he says running his hands on your tummy under your shirt and up to your breasts. His thumbs rub back and forth across the silky material of the bra covering your nipples.

You gasp lightly and roll your head back to his shoulder. “Yeah, I could never forget that, H.”

“Mmmm…love tha feel of this bra,” he says running the palm of his hands around the cups.

“You have expensive taste, it’s silk,” you turn in his arms to give him a hug and a proper kiss.

Apparently, he had other things in mind, because he lifts you on to the counter and stands between your legs. “Been a while since I’ve had ya in the kitchen,” he says with a smug smile kissing down your neck.

That reminds you that you need to make sure that the food in the London fridge is disposed of before you leave. You know that the housekeeper will take care of it, but you have some berries you’d like to freeze to make smoothies with, so you don’t want her to trash those. “Won’t be making smoothies, though,” you whisper as Harry is unbuttoning your denim shorts. Luckily it seems that he didn’t hear you, not that it would matter, because you aren’t actually aware of the fact that you said that out loud.

“Up,” Harry says indicating it’s time for you to lift off your hips so he can pull down your shorts. You unconsciously raise up and he strips them off you.

“Mmmm…matching silk panties,” he says running his hands on the inside of your thighs.

You spread your legs as he steps in close for a deep kiss.

Silk? You better remember to pack up some Woolite so you can wash your spendy lingerie in the sink, or does laundry at hotels do that? Harry has worked his way to your core and has managed to get his hand down your panties. “Dry-cleaning?” you mumble wondering if you can send those out to be dry cleaned wherever you are…wait…who picks it up, you wouldn’t want to leave some of your expensive lingerie at a dry cleaner in a different country. Can you imagine if the tabloids got wind of that? For fuck’s sake, what have you gotten yourself into? How can this possibly work? He’s never had to drag along someone with him, this is going to be the death of him. He’s so accustomed to his routines on the road and you’re just going to hold him back. Jesus Christ, you should’ve thought this through better.

You pop out of your daze to see that Harry has stopped and is leaning on his hands on the counter on either side of your hips and is staring at you.

“Been rubbin’ ya clit fo’ a full minute now. And ya no’ wet, but tha’s no’ the least of it, somethin’s on ya mind, ya look sad,” he raises his hand to tuck your hair behind your ear.

Suddenly his phone rings, but he doesn’t move.

“Aren’t you gonna answer it?” you murmur holding your breath and crossing your arms nervously.

“Fuck tha phone right now. Talk ta me.”

The phone starts to ring again and this time its accompanied with dings of text messages.

“You really should answer, H.”

“Christ!” he places a smacking kiss on your mouth and turns to walk to the phone on the dining table.

You hop off the counter and quickly pull on your shorts before the damn breaks. You head to the back door grabbing your quilt from Helen and making your way to the swing, praying the call is long enough for you to get your emotions under control.

You snuggle up in the quilt and sit on the swing as a tear rolls down your cheek. You furiously wipe it away. You don’t want to upset him, but the unknowns are too much. Another tear slides down your cheek and you wipe it away with the back of your hand when you see Helen approaching. You make to get up, but she waves you back in the swing.

“Don’ get up, darlin’, I jus’ came by ya bring ya some fresh fruit. Didn’t thin’ you’d be here s’soon,” she says leaning down to kiss your cheeks. “Where’s Harry?”

You look over to the door. “He’s on the phone. We’re getting ready to leave for tour and…he had to take a call.” You sigh.

Helen can tell there’s something you’re not telling her. You look worried and unhappy which isn’t like you. “Mind if I have a seat?”

You smile sadly. “Of course not,” you say, scooching over so she can sit down.

“Wha’s botherin’ ya, love?”

You sigh, your eyes filling up with tears and spilling down your cheeks.

Helen wraps her arm around you and pulls you to her, your head on her shoulder. “Aww, sweetheart…shhhh, shhhh, tell me wha’s wrong?”

You sit up and wipe your tears away. “Nothing…everything.” You sigh. “We’re going away on tour, and I have all of these questions and I don’t know how things are gonna go. I don’t want to be in the way, and I don’t want to bug Harry with any of this. He’s so excited to get back on the road and I don’t want to bring him down with all my concerns,” you say, a fresh set of tears stream down your face.

“But ya haven’t talked ta Harry abou’ this?”

You shake your head.

“Why not?”

“I don’t want him to worry about me!”

Helen shakes her head. “Ya hafta talk to him, love. He loves ya. He’ll understand. I’m sure he’s no’ tryin’ ta hide things from ya. He jus’ doesn’t know wha’ ta tell ya because he’s used ta this life.”

Harry’s phone call ended a bit ago and he’s listening at the door. His hand grips his phone hard. He’s mad at himself for not going over things better but he’s frustrated that you’ve not been talking to him about this either. He’s told you a million times that you can talk to him about anything and all these months later you’re still holding out on him. Do you not trust him? He hangs his head and clenches his jaw, puffing out a breath. He looks back out the door and makes eye contact with Helen. She nods slightly.

He opens the sliding glass door and steps out. “Hiya Helen, nice to see ya. Keepin’ ma girl company while I take care of business, I see,” he says, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

“I am. I brought ya both some fresh fruit, bu’ now I’m goin’ back to the blue cottage so ya can spend some time together.”

Harry takes the basket and smiles. “Thank ya. Tha’s very sweet of ya.”

“You take care, sweet girl,” Helen says, hugging you. She kisses Harry again and then leaves you two alone.

He sits down next to you and puffs out a breath, hands gripping his thighs. “Do ya no’ trust me?”

You whip your head to look at him. “What? What’re you talking about?”

He runs his hand down his face and meets your eyes. “I should’ve done better preparin’ ya fo’ life on tha road, I get tha’ an’ ‘m sorry bu’ why didn’t ya tell me ya were worried?” He sighs. “I’ve tol’ ya over an’ over ya can tell me anythin’, an ya don’ an’ I…don’ know why.”

You start to cry again. “I trust you, I do. I just…you’re busy and I don’t want to be a bother.”

“Fuck’s sake,” he says, turning on the swing and putting his arm around you. “Ya no’ a bother. Ya never a bother. Ya have a problem, ya come ta me, understand? Please? I’m beggin’ ya. Ya hafta to trust me an’ open up ta me – not jus’ physically, bu’ emotionally too.”

Your shoulders slump realizing that he has a very good point, “I’m sorry, H. You’re right. I’m so used to holding things in. It’s not you…it’s me. Please forgive me.”

He pulls you to him. “Baby, I forgive ya. I’m sorry too. Love ya s’much.” He kisses your temple. “C’mon, let’s go inside, yeah? Wanna hear all your concerns, ‘kay?”

You nod and he grabs your hand to lead you inside.

Once inside the door, Harry turns and locks it, “Baby, think we need ta jus’ lock ourselves in fo’ a couple of days…” he says grinning, “Call it a business meeting, ya alrigh’ wi’ tha’?”

“Sure, sounds good to me,” you say softly as he stalks toward you.

“Let’s go ligh’ some candles, we’ll take up Helen’s fruit…we got water,” he says putting his arms around you, “Let’s go spend some time in our pink room,” he says accent thick, voice raspy his hands running up and down your back.

You look down, but can’t help the gentle smile as you nod yes.

He pulls your head up with a knuckle under your chin, “Please, give me ya words, love, s’time ya start talkin’ ta me, enough holdin’ back on me, yeah?”

“Yes, Harry.”

“Listen, I know ya worried, but I wan’ ya ta know tha’… I…I’m not, ‘m not worried…no’ abou’ us, we’re gon be jus’ fine…tagether…an’ the rest of it all will jus’ fall into place. Come on,” he grabs your hand and leads the way up to your bedroom carrying the basket of fruit with his other. He eyes you as you go into the master closet. “Can ya get it?”

“I think so,” you say as your reach in to pull the lever that pops the cabinet that hides the opening to the pink room.

You walk in and he takes a moment to put the fruit on the little buffet, “Wan’ a water?”

You nod your head and then straighten your shoulders, “Yes, please” you say using your words.

“Good girl.”

You’ll never get over the beautiful pictures of you both that line the walls. On the other side of the buffet is a silver wrapped clothing box with a big pink bow.

Harry sees you spot the gift, “Tha’s ya surprise, but it’s fo’ later.”

You grab the candle lighter and walk around lighting the candles around the room, the candle is a relaxing scent of lavender and chamomile.

As you light the last candle, Harry dims the lights and turns on some soft music. He walks to you, cups your cheeks and places a sweet kiss on your lips. Eyes meeting yours he takes both your hands in his, “Can ya jus’ lemme undress ya, wan’ you bare while we talk, wan’ ya ta understand tha’ ya can be bare in all ways wi’ me, ya not gonna be in tha way, ya not gonna be a pest,” he pulls both of your hands up to his mouth to kiss them lightly then reached down to strip you of your t-shirt. “I need ya, your happiness means ev’rythin’ ta me. ‘M s’sorry, I didn’t think abou’ ya tryin’ ta figure this all out on ya own. I…jus’ fucked tha’ up an’ ‘m sorry,” he says unhooking your bra and moving on to unbutton your shorts. “I love ya an’ there’s nothin’ fo’ ya ta be worried about, ya not disappointin’ me or bringin’ me down with ya worries,” he strips your shorts and panties off, “god, ya so fuckin’ beautiful, babe. Go turn the bed down for us, yeah?”

You turn and walk naked as the day you were born to the bed and pull the velvet duvet down and crawl up on the tall California-king. Just as you turn around situated on the pillow you see Harry pushing down his dark blue trousers; stark naked he walks over and grabs a peach and a banana before stalking toward you and the bed. His cock is semi-hard and it sways as he walks the strut that is his normal walk. He gets to the bed and puts the fruit down.

“Get us a towel for the peach?” you ask.

“Good thinkin’” He walks over an grabs a tea towel from the kitchenette, stops and turns back to go find something, when he comes back he has a clippy holding his hair back on top.

“Interesting business consultation, Mr. Styles…” you say ogling him as he walks toward you.

“Well, I’m very interested in makin’ sure ya feel welcomed ta tha team…” he smirks.

He crawls across the bed and places a kiss to your shoulder, “’M very, very interested in our partnership, but sounds like we hav’ a couple of logistics ta work out, otherwise I think this is the start of a very, very long very intense relationship…”

“Yeah? ya think?”

He nods his head.

“Ummm, Mr. Styles, I’m gonna need your words during this meeting.”

He smirks, “Uh, yeah, I do think…”

“A long relationship?”

This time his smile falls away and a very serious look replaces it as he intensely meets your stare, “Yeah,” he runs his finger down your cheek, “A really long relationship, forever.”

You relax your head to one side, “Oh, Harry, the things you say…I love you.”

His face emotional he smiles back, “Love ya too. So much.”

You shiver. He gets up and walks over to the chaise to grab the furry blanket, comes back and pulls it over your shoulders. He sits face to face with you on the bed than because he wants to see your face.

“So tell me abou’ some of these things ya worried abou’.”

You babble on about freezing berries and dry cleaning and finally flop your hands down in your lap, “And all this is silly isn’t it?” you say resigned to having overthought the situation as per usual.

“No s’not silly, ya just didn’t know how things work on tha road, ya hafta depend on a lot of people ta do things for ya, takes a lot of trust.”

“I mean, Harry, what if I run outta tampons…I don’t want some poor boy on your team to have to run to the store to buy feminine products. How embarrassing!”

He bursts out laughing. “Babe, have a band of girls, a tampon run s’not a big deal. Ya just plan the best ya can an’ the rest we take care of,” you open your mouth to interrupt, “an’ before ya mention it, ya expenses come from ma personal account ‘cause ya mine ta take care of, please don’ fight me on this.”

“Ok, I won’t fight ya on it.”

“Thank fuck!” he throws his head back. “D’ya feel better now?”

“Yeah, I do, thank you.” You pick up the peach and the towel. You spread the towel across your lap and take a bite of the juicy fruit. Juice drips down the flesh of the fruit and on to the towel. It’s running down your pinky finger and you twist your hand to slurp the sticky juice. You aren’t really paying much attention until you look up and he’s staring with his lips sucked in. Then it dawns on you how aroused he is watching you suck the drippy juice from the side of your hand and finger.

He lifts one side of his mouth and slowly shakes his head, “Ya don’t even know d’ya?”

Genuinely confused, “What?”

“Turn me inside out, make me hard as a rock…don’ even know how sexy ya are ta me.”

He leans forward and grabs your hand and licks your pinky finger. You close your eyes as his tongue moves over your skin. When you open your eyes, his green ones are searing into yours.

Still maintaining eye contact, he takes a bite of the peach.

You watch mesmerized as the juice clings to his mouth and drips down his chin.

“Lay back for me.” He takes another bite of the peach and presses the juicy fruit to your lips and trails it down your body to your mound. He eats it and licks back up your body following the juicy trail he left behind. “Mmmm…it’s almost as good as ya honey.”

“Mmmm…” You hold up the peach to him and he takes another bite; then pulls you up by your neck and kisses you, licking the juice off of your lips.

You sit up and pass the peach to him and grab the banana, peeling it very slowly and swirling your tongue around the tip of it.

He swallows and his mouth gapes open. “Fuck’s sake.”

You smirk and then take the banana as far back into your throat as you can as you maintaining eye contact. You bob your head up and down on the banana a couple of times and smirk as he squeezes his dick to relieve some pressure. “I’m being a bad girl and not even offering you any…and it’s your favorite” you say as you hold the fruit out to him.

He smirks and mimics your movements and now you’re the one gulping.

“Jesus H,” you say breathily and gasp as his lips close over the banana and he takes a bite.

You both smile silly smiles at each other as you finish up eating Helen’s delicious fruit.

He gets up and grabs a wet towel and cleans you up and then himself. You’re both pretty sticky. He throws the towel in the hamper and then picks up the box with the bow and places it on the bed in front of you.

You smile and pull the bow and lift off the lid. Nestled in the paper is a rhinestone lingerie bra and panty set. “Oh my god, Harry, it’s gorgeous!” You hold up the panties and you gulp as you see that the crotch and bum area is literally a string of rhinestones.

“Put it on fo’ me,” he says, voice low and raspy.

“Ok,” you say breathily, standing up and slipping into the panties latching them on the sides and then the bra. You hold up the ends of the closure and turn around. “Latch this for me?”

He puffs out a breath, as he latches the bra and stands up behind you. “Go look in the mirror.”

You walk to the full-length mirror in front of the bed and he comes up behind you, hands moving over your breasts, causing your nipples to poke out in between the stones.

“Ya s’beautiful, Jesus. Look at ya.”

You hardly recognize the girl staring back at you in the mirror.

“Turn around,” he says so you do and then he says, “look.”

You gasp as you see your nearly bare bum. You watch as his hands slide down your body and stop on your bum, the tips of his fingers slipping under the chain of rhinestones.

“Turn around.”

You turn around and meet his eyes in the mirror. “Ya look amazin’. Watch as I touch ya.” You watch his hand move to the waistband of the jeweled panties and his fingertips move back and forth. His hand slips down further and his fingers push the flimsy chain of rhinestones to the side and his fingers reach to your entrance to collect your wetness and then his fingers are circling your clit.

Your hands fly to his arm and grip him. “Mmmm… oh god.”

“Ya s’wet an’ swollen baby. So ready fo’ me.”

“Yes,” you breathe out.

His fingers keep moving on your clit and you’re close. You’re so, so close when he stops, and you whimper.

“Go lay on the bed,” he whispers into your ear.

As you walk over to the bed you get the sensation of being watched, so you look over your shoulder only to see him standing stock still staring at you with both lips sucked into his mouth. You smile to yourself, happy that he seems to be happy to look his fill, since he could have, literally, anyone he wants. Crawling up on the bed you can’t help but groan at the way the rhinestones move across your skin. In fact, you stop, perched on all fours to drop your head and take a breath because the chain has pulled between your pussy lips and is pressing cool and rough on your sensitive clit. “Whew…,” you blow out a deep breath trying to regain some control.

You feel Harry’s hand on your bum as he stands at the side of the bed leaning to one side to look into your eyes. “Ya ok, babe?”

You look back over to him as he’s rubbing your bum cheek, “Yeah, just sensitive.”

He smirks and runs his hand down to your clit and feels the chains and stones pressing in, “Here?”

“Yes!”

He lets out a breathy laugh leans down and kisses your bum before saying, “Turn over, babe.”

You lay your body down and turn over onto your back. Your eyes flutter and you bite your bottom lip and let out a soft high-pitched moan.

Brows furrowed, “S’it hurt?” he asks concerned.

“Not really, just, it’s cold on my nipples and it’s kinda pinching them and it, Ahhh…Mmmm…,” you roll your head on the pillow, “It’s pulling them and…Ssssss,” you pull your head up to look down your body, “And it’s pulling my clit.”

“Doesn’ hurt though, righ’?”

“No, It’s tugging…every time I move,” you meet his eyes and suck in your lips, “so so good.”

“Jesus, love, can see ya tits pokin’ out from ‘ere… ya go’ goosebumps all over.”

You bring the back of your palm to your mouth and bite the skin there, as you roll your head to one side. “It’s so intense, H,” you mumble softly.

He reaches up and trails a single finger up your tummy to the chain between your breasts. “How’s this?” he asks tugging very slightly.

Your mouth opens in a silent O and your body bows at the sensation of both nipples being tugged at the same time.

“Fuckin’…,” he’s shaking his head, “Baby, ya drippin’ down this chain.”

“Harry!” you screech, “Can’t…can’t hold on…gonna cum…I just…it’s…Mmahh!” You are shocked when he calls your name sternly.

“Baby, breathe, breathe, breathe… don’t cum, don’t cum, please breathe, wanna take ya ta the edge for a while… just breathe wi’ me, in (inhale) out (exhale).”

You’re well and truly frustrated at this moment, and you’re whining, panting, and unable to match his breathing. “Harry, that was cruel, it hurts, it burns, wanna cum so bad!”

“’M sorry, love, but it’ll be so good just holdin’ on fo’ jus’ a lil bit, yeah? Remember how good it feels?” He crawls up on the bed and lays down next to you, propped on his elbow rubbing your tummy as you lie still trying to control your breathing. “Read abou’ this, babe, some people call it subspace, think we should call it lovespace, ‘cause, when ya innit, ya so soft an’ happy, so beau’iful wi’ love on ya face, jus’ hangin’ there on tha edge…hangin’ there wi’ me,” he says leaning over to kiss your lips. “Gon’ getcha there…in our lovespace right now…,” he says running his hand down your body reverently then back up to very gently finger your nipple as it’s poking through the rhinstones.

“Oh. My. God.” you cry out arching your back. The arch pulls the chain through your slit and against your clit.

“Tell me, babe, d’ya like when ya hangin’ on tha edge?”

You raise your knees and open your legs making your toes curl as the chain pulls between your bum cheeks. “Jesus, H! These panties…”

“Good?” he asks as he leans down to place a chaste kiss on your rigid nipple.

“Yeah,” your eyes flutter.

“Talk ta me, babe… tell me abou’ it. Turns me on ta hear naughty words come from this (kiss) sweet (kiss) mouth (kiss),” he mumbles against your lips.

You grab the clippy from his hair and toss it to the bedside table so you can run your hand in his hair, taking a moment to fist it tight.

“You really wanna hear this?” you say looking down your body feeling a little shy and shocked that your body is draped in nothing but rhinestones.

He pulls your chin over to meet his eyes then grinds his hard cock into your hip, “Yeah…really.”

“My nipples are hard and it’s like they’re stuck in these little holes,” you run your painted nail around the openings of the rhinestone bra, “and the bra is pulling on them like when you bite and pull them,” you bring that finger up to nibble on, “and I like it when you bite them, the little bit of pain shoots straight down..." you trail off.

"Down to where… say it…”

“Down to my cunt, it makes my pussy clench, like… I can feel the muscle squeeze…” you whisper.

“It’s my cunt, yanno… is it doin’ it now,” he pulls on the bra causing the rhinestones to pull on your nipple.

“Unhhh…hahhh…yes…,” you whine, breathily.

“I can feel the blood rushing to it, and I’m getting w-w-w…wetter,” you stumble over the words as the talk causes his eyes to get darker with arousal.

“It makes my tummy, my…my pelvis ache and kinda burn, especially if I’m empty…it just builds and builds when I’m empty…” you say searching his eyes.

“Kinda like a car in park wi’ tha engine revvin’, right?”

You nod your head, “Yes, just like that! The more you touch me, the more you press on the gas pedal…and then when you let off…I’m still warm and running fast, but it…” you roll your head on the pillow as he runs his hand down to where your clit is barely poking out, “it feels soooooo ready to drive.”

“An’ when ya cum fo’ me, especially when ya squirt ya honey, s’like spinning the tires before ya get traction, right, gotta cum so bad, ya body can’ keep up with the orgasm, right?”

You raise your head slightly to get a good look at him, “Yes!, Oh my god, Harry, yes! It’s as if so much has build up and I’ve been ready for so long without release that when I cum it’s everywhere, yes,” you sob out and cup his cheek, “Yes, oh god, you understand!”

He’s grinning and running his middle finger over your clit and his thumb along the low waist of the panties, “Well, baby, words are wha’ I do best, other than you. Words an’ you… are ma world,” he shrugs, “an’ I know ya like I know words.”

“Jesus, Harry!” you squirm as he runs his middle finger down past the chain to push inside you just to the first knuckle. He wiggles his finger just enough to have you clenching for more. One more wiggle of his finger and you slap your hand around his wrist, “Fuck…gonna cum!” then he stops, but leaves his finger there still. “Don’t cum, yet, ‘member, wan’ ya ta hang here in our space, eyes on me.”

Your fingers are clawing at the leather duvet below, the arousal caresses your skin like the goosebumps are alive with tingles of awareness and you’re panting out your breath. On the same token, it feels like you’re floating on a warm cloud, light, weightless and rolling with the sensation of being just about to orgasm. You can’t help the gasp of giggle that erupts from your throat.

“Tha’s it innit?” he asks smiling smugly. “Ya there, but…not quite. ‘S our space, right?”

“Yeah, babe, I’m there…just…don’t move,” you slur drunk with sex and a shiver, “I’m so so clo-close.”

He smiles with delight to watch you hang, thankful to experience this with you. “So fuckin’ beautiful,” he murmurs absentmindedly as he looks your body up and down from your face to your knees still bent, but trembling.

Your breathing evens out but you’re still floating, just the right move and your orgasm will either burst or disappear. The air around you is thick with love, safety and sex, you aren’t gonna lose this one.

“Lemme take this off ya, wan’ these tits to myself,” he says as he helps you lean forward to unclasp the chain of the bra behind you.

You grimace as the chain on the thong pulls through your slit and against your clit.

As soon as the rhinestone bra if off his lips find your nipples and he nips at them and places open-mouth sucking kisses on them.

“I love you, Harry, I love making love with you,” you say running your hand through his hair as he continues to worship your breasts.

He looks up to meet your eyes as his hand squeezes your breast and his tongue circles your nipple over and over.

You smile and sigh as you watch his tongue moving on your sensitive skin.

When his other hand trails down your side you giggle.

“Tickles,” you giggle out.

“Ya in our lovespace darling?”

You giggle. “Yes.”

His hand cups your center and gently tugs on the chain.

You gasp as the chain tugs at your clit. “Ohhhh…mmmm…so good.” You smile as he tugs the chain up and down. You can feel the tips of his fingers at the top of your slit and you shiver.

“Feel good?” He asks, looking down to where his hand is moving and tugging the chain a little bit harder.

Your mouth opens and your breath picks up. “Mmmm…Hahhhh, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mumble, smiling.

“Wan’ ya ta cum like this fo’ me. Can ya do tha’?”

“Ohhhhh…fuck, yes! I’m soooo…so…ungh…CLOSE!” You shriek as he tugs that much harder. It’s all you need to let go. He watches as your back arches and you chant his name over and over as you cum.

“Fuck’s sake baby,” he says as his fingers gently move up and down your slit.

You’ve come hard for him and your body is still thrumming from your orgasm, fingers shaking on the leather underneath you.

“Gonna take this off, tha’ ok?”

You nod and he slides the panties down your legs and smirks at how wet they are.

He snuggles in next to you and pulls you close to him. “Ya ok?”

You kiss his neck over and over. “Mmmm…so good. God, you always make me feel so good.”

He smiles at you and kisses you quickly. “I like makin’ ya feel good. Love watchin’ ya cum fo’ me.”

You press your lips to his as your hand slides down his chest and between your bodies to his cock.

He groans as you circle his cock with your hand and slide your hand up and down.

“Wanna make you feel good, baby. Tell me how you want me.”

“Wan’ ya ta ride me. Wanna watch ya…ungh…watch ya ride me, fuck!”

You smirk and maintain eye contact as he rolls over and helps you straddle him. You groan as you settle over him. “Still so sensitive,” you say, as you move over his cock, coating him in your wetness, stimulating your clit on each pass. You move forward and lift up and position him at your entrance. “I’m so wet for you, baby. Bet you’re gonna just slide right in…right to the hilt, yeah?”

He groans. “Fuck’s sake. Please. Please put me in, darling.” He licks his lips. “Need ta be inside ya…please.”

You smile and sink down on him, gasping as he fills you up as his hands slide from your hips to your tits.

He looks up to the ceiling and sees you both in the mirror and he groans. “Fuck! Oh fuck,” he pants out as you begin to move back and forth on his dick, grinding down on him.

Your fingers dig into the skin of his chest as your clit is stimulated on every movement.

His hand slides up from your breast to your throat, his long fingers resting on your chin, and pushes your neck up, forcing you to look at the ceiling. “Look. Look at ya takin’ me s’well.”

You moan as you see the two of you moving together.

“Look s’good ridin’ my cock. Could watch this every day.”

You clench down on him you’re so turned on by seeing yourself fucking him.

“Fuck!!! Oh fuck, feels s’good!” he pants out underneath you. Squeezing his eyes shut tight to block out the sight, he knows he needs to say something, “Stop, stop, stop…”

You stop moving and look down at him, “What, honey, you ok?”

He gulps as he squeezes his eyes closed and then back open to meet your concerned stare.

“C’mere,” he reaches up to pull you down to give you a gentle kiss, “Baby, wha’ are ya thinkin’ right this minute?”

You pull back slightly searching his eyes, “Harry, I’m thinking about how badly I want us to cum together.”

“Do ya trust me ta get us there at jus’ the righ’ time?”

You nod saying, “Yes, Harry.”

He smiles proudly and pulls your forehead to meet his, “Good girl. Wan’ ya ta know tha’ when ya need ta talk abou’ somethin’ I’m here an’ I’ll do wha’ I can ta make it better,” he stops to thrust up into you causing you to groan, “Ya trust me so well wi’ ya body…wi’ our pleasure, now trust me the same way wi’ ya thoughts…yeah?”

“I will, I promise,” you tell him, placing a soft kiss on his lips. He thrusts gently and you deepen the kiss, tongue licking into his mouth.

You start to sit back up and he holds on to your face tighter, “Wait, babe, stay here… been holdin’ on s’good fo’ me,” he runs one hand down your back to your bum and pushes down urging you to take him deeper, “stay righ’ ‘ere an’ let’s cum tagether.” The longer he holds out the deeper, raspier and thicker his accented voice gets.

You stretch your arms out until you feel the headboard above his head, your tits smashed to his, lips almost touching, your thighs wide open on either side of his hips. He bends his knees and places flat feet on the mattress for leverage. He pulses up into you, slow and deep. You both groan with open mouths. You can feel his breath in your throat. His pulsing hips cause both of you to bump forward at the same time, your breathing synced.

“Feel good?” he asks one hand on your neck and the other still on your bum.

You suck in a breath and lick your bottom lip, “My god, H, you’re so deep inside me like this.”

“Can ya grind down on me? Move wi’ me, love.”

You spread your thighs that much further and grind your clit down on his pubic bone. You’re so sensitive from the previous orgasms and the rhinestones from earlier. “Jesssssuuusss…” you hiss against his lips.

“S’good, right?” he says smirking, never stopping the gentle pulsing of his hips.

You roll your hips and your eyes flutter shut.

“Tell me, sweet’eart, talk ta me…”

“Rubbing….Ahhh..R-r-right on the spot!”

He thrusts up even deeper and holds, “My spot…?”

“Uh-huh,” is all you can mutter once he starts a steady thrust again.

His fingers are threaded in your hair, your lips are touching and you’re taking in each other’s breath, “I. Love. You.”

“Harry…” you whimper on an exhale, “Love you so much, please don’t stop, please….”

“Fuckin’ ‘ell, come on, love, come on…let’s go…,” he pumps up deep holding still as you both quake.

Your mouth is open in a static O. Your thighs are tightening around him, knees digging in the mattress, knuckles white in the pillow under his head. You can feel his body shake stiffly below you.

He has one hand tight on your bum cheek, other hand fisted in your hair, his jaw clenched tight as he hisses his rapid breathing through his teeth. His orgasm spurts inside you as he pumps one last time.

You collapse your boneless body on him then try to roll over, but his arms are wound around you tight, holding you to his body in such a grasp that you struggle to breath.

“Don’ move, love…”

“But Harry, I’m gon’ hurt you…” you say squirming.

“Don’ move!” he says and tap your ass.

You gasp and whisper, “But H, I’m leaking our cum…you’ll be a mess…”

“Fuck!” he mumbles and you feel a twitch in his cock inside you. Suddenly he sits up with you and lays you over on your back holding your legs open,“Wanna see it,” he says in a rush, “Show me.”

You put your hand over your eyes, “Jesus Christ, H!” you stutter out shocked.

He’s holding your legs open and looking between them. “Baby,” he pulls your hand down and whispers, “Push it out.”

“Oh my god, Harry!” After a moment passes you flex your muscles and feel the cum drip from you.

“Fuck, tha’s sexy.”

You shiver and try to close your thighs. He holds onto one gently, kisses the your knee and rubs his hand up and down the inside of your thigh.

“Hold still an’ I’ll get ya cleaned up,” he says placing one last kiss to your leg and scooting off the bed to the bathroom. He returns with a warm cloth and cleans you up.

“Thank you,” you say shyly.

“Fo’ wha’?”

“For this,” you say nodding toward his hand between your legs, “For taking care of me…of us.”

He leans down and places a kiss on your knee smiling, “Love you.” He tosses the washcloth toward the hamper

“I lo(…ha ha ha…)ve you,” you say yawning mid-sentence, covering your mouth with your free hand.

“O-kay, know it’s still early, but it’s time fo’ a nap,” he picks you up and carries you to the master bedroom. Crawling in with you he pulls your back close to his front. “Doin’ ok?”

You stroke the hand he has resting just below your breast, “Yeah, I’m great, honey.”

“How abou’ after a nap we see if we can visit wi’ Ron an’ Helen an’ the pets?”

“That so(…ha ha ha…)unds great,” you say with a yawn. Your eyes flutter shut and your breathing evens out.

“…two…three,” he kisses your shoulder, “Annnd…she’s out.” He smiles softly, snuggling his head into your hair, happy and content.

***3 hours later***

Your eyes pop open after a restful sleep. You hadn’t realized just how tired you were. The nerves of travelling and the new goals set for your job had been keeping you up. Granted the incredible sex you had a few hours earlier, along with your confession, had relaxed your body, mind and soul, lulling you into a languid nap.

Amazing sex…that’s an understatement. God, you fit so well together, like a hand and glove, and for every adventurous lyric he’s ever written or sung about, he was equally as adventurous in your bedroom. Harry had a way with your body…he brought things out in you, you had no idea you enjoyed. You run your fingers over his resting on your tummy. The movement of your hand brushes your nipple and you notice just how deliciously sore your nipples are from those rhinestones. Moving your hips gently, you discover you’re actually sore all over. You blush just thinking about the rhinestone bra and thong; hardly recognized that wanton woman wearing it. You close your eyes and let out a muffled giggle.

Pulling you closer to him and kissing the side of your head, “Wha’s s’funny?”

“I just can’t believe some of the things we get up to…”

“Ya mean, thin’s we get off to,” he says playing with your fingers, stroking down each one with his forefinger, “does it bother ya?”

“Not in the least,” you say turning your head to meet his stare, “the things we do together are between us…it’s our time.”

He smiles and kisses your shoulder softly.

“D’ya sleep well?” you ask.

“Mmmm…so good,” he says running his foot up the inside of your leg and smirking, “You passed out quickly.”

“Well, you wore me out,” you say smugly.

He pulls your hair to the side so he can kiss your neck, “Ya ‘ave any mo’ worries abou’ travelling?”

“Not really, I just wonder about some things that are probably silly…”

“Wha’ is it, sweet’eart?”

“Well…like…wha’ about making love…are we gonna have time for sex? Aren’t ya gonna be too tired? I mean, I don’t have any expectations…I’m just curious about it,” you say rushing your words.

He chuckles. “Shhh…don’ have ta explain yaself…s’a good question, truthfully, gonna hav’ times when ‘m exhausted, but I promise I’ll make time fo’ sex,” he murmurs kissing below your ear. “‘M kinna obsessed with makin’ love wi’ my girlfriend…she (kiss) feels (kiss) so (kiss) good (kiss). Fuck her in every city…”

“H, ya gonna bring that magical black bag full of fun stuff?” you ask running your hand up his forearm.

“S’already packed in my trunk. My trunk travels wi’ me an’ is delivered ta ma room wherever we go. An’ now…you have a trunk fo’ your stuff too.”

“I have a trunk too?!”

“’Course ya do! Jus' like ya favorite snacks an' tha' gross vitamin water ya love s'much was added to ma requested services."

"You did that!?"

"Well, yeah, 'm not travellin' alone anymore, got precious cargo ta take care of now."

You turn over onto your back so you can face him, “Thank you for always looking after me, for making me a priority. I just really want you to be happy to have me there.”

“Oh baby…” he says cupping your cheeks, “need ya there…”

“Can’t believe this’ll be our last cottage visit for a while…I’ll miss it so much,”

“Me too, gon’ have some surprises installed in the pink room while we’re gone,” he says walking his fingers up your sternum.

“I love pink room surprises,” you say saucily just before gasping when he circles your nipple. You look at him and open your mouth to say something then close it and look away.

“Wha’s else’s on ya mind? Can tell ya wanna ask me so jus’ ask….”

“Yeah, I do have something I wanna ask you,” you say curiously. "I know you like watching me, but what's it take for you to just loosen up the reigns a bit."

"What're ya goin' on abou'?" he questions leaning forward to place a soft kiss on your lips.

"Well, we have the pink room, and I wanna know when you’re gonna show me what else you wanna do in there...," you turn toward him so you are both laying side by side. "What’s your wild side…like…do you feel different when you are in the room?”

“Jesus, babe…yeah, I mean… s’pose I do. Feels private an’…free. Really dinna have much privacy fo’ s’long, s’it’s like a place ta share wi’ ya where we can hide out tagether safely, like a secret…an’ we can be raw.”

“But you’re always busy pleasuring me, don’t you have times when you wanna take me and do things…with me…to me?”

This time he laughs out loud, and you frown. “What’s so funny?”

“Baby I do lotsa thin’s to ya in there…an’ I get off on gettin’ ya off, but, yeah, I do have other thin’s I wanna do wi’ ya.”

“Can you show me?"

He stops and smiles cheekily. “Kay…I will, bu’ I’ll surprise ya when I do…,” he says and kisses your nose, “when ya least expect it….” He leans forward to place a kiss on your lips. “Wanna go see Thomasina? ‘M gonna go toss a frisbee with Bennett, need ta talk to Ron too.”

You raise your eyebrows with excitement. “Yeah, I do wanna see them all so much! Let’s take them a bottle of wine from the cooler to thank them for the flowers at Wembley.”

“Sure, I, uh, also got ‘em some tickets and VIPs for the Bologna show…gonna fly ‘em out ta tha villa fo’ a few days an’ hav’em at the show. Ya think they’ll like tha’?”

You throw yourself at him and wrap your arms tight around his neck, “Oh, H, that’s so sweet and I think they will love that!

[desiderium-eden]

“Lazuli! Here! Have some of these meat pies!”

“Oh, it’s okay. I’m not really h–”

“Nonsense. Look how small you are. You need to eat!”

“Well, I guess–” She’d barely opened her arms. Hadn’t even accepted the pastries before more packages were being shoved at her. 

“Lazuli! We have some new cheese–” “Have some wild boar! Just came in today!” “Be careful. You need to watch your figure.””Here. Have this pin. You can wear it during your next dance.””Whenareyougoingbacktodancing?””Stillhaven’tlosthtatbabyweight?””TakethistoyforKyrie.””Ifyou’restillfree,youshould–”

“Aww~! Thanks everyone~ That’s so sweet of you.”

It was … The constant noise of people talking over each other aside, she couldn’t really be expected to hold this much stuff, right? At some point, each new parcel given to her was just handed to her guard. Little more than a glorified porter right now. And even Orkais seemed to be reaching his limit before Lazuli could find room in between voices to excuse herself. 

Lazuli had sent Orkais off first once they got away. Saying she wanted to visit the temple for a bit. It was close. She would be safe within the city. 

She hadn’t made it half a block. 

“Miss Lazuli.” An older nobleman. With his guards. Thick clean furs, An abundance of gold and jewels that toyed with the line between wealth and gaudy. Much like how his hairline, emphasized by the way his hair was tied back, toyed with the line between balding and not. 

“Lord Bartos.” She curtsied. “Have you been well?”

“I’ve been well. I was actually heading to the castle since I heard you returned from Vanystea early.”

“Ah. Yes. The Aegis was beautiful but I just missed home so much. Did you want to speak to my cousin? Did something happen?”

“In time, yes. But I wanted to give you a gift.” As much as she wished he was going to pull out a gun, it was a slim box from a not-insignificant Namodian jeweler. Inside was a rather flashy necklace. With a sapphire the size of Kyrie’s fist. 

“I-I can’t take this,” she said, trying to give the box back. “It must’ve cost a small fortune. And you’ve been hit the most by those pirate attacks–”

He pushed the box back into her hands. “Nonsense. I’ve suffered some losses, but I’m not destitute. Besides, it’s an investment. When public morale is low, the people need our Dawnflower. I wish to support you any way I can.”

The people probably wouldn’t like seeing him spend money on jewelry while their friends and family were dying, she thought. But he was always a pushy one. And she didn’t wish to offend him. Not while his guards were around… She smiled at him. Nearly breaking character as he opened his arms, inviting a hug. Though with the guardians standing so closely behind him, it felt more like a demand…

“Princess.” 

Lazuli blinked. Looking up as the captain stepped forward, inserting himself between her and Bartos.

“Sankt Starkov says he needs to speak to you at the temple. It’s urgent.” Genya moved as if he was pushing her away from the lord. Though his hands stopped a couple of centimeters away from her. Instead, guiding her to leave without touching her. And shot Bartos a look over her shoulder as he ushered the ex-princess away. The edges of his sclera starting to darken.

“Surely a man of your integrity can understand.”

[vampstel]

I still have multiple things to write about V (such as his likes and dislikes, trivia, and even health) but here’s his backstory

Quick warning: This mentions murder, execution (specifically beheading), and general dark themes. I don’t go too in-depth about it, but still beware.

“Nikolai was conceived and born in England during the 19th century to Wilford and Morana Godfrey. Wilford was a mortal human and Morana was a pureblood vampire, thus making Nikolai a natural dhampir.

During his childhood, he was extremely sheltered and hidden from the outside world. His parents were overprotective of him — hybrids and interspecies relationships were (and still are) stigmatised. Not to mention… Nikolai had poor health.

He holds no grudge against his parents for being the way they are. He understands they only wanted the best for him. After all, his parents took care of him and loved him unconditionally. There was nothing else he wanted or needed and he was happy with his life.

However, Nikolai can’t deny his ever growing-desire to go out and explore the world. To feed his curiosity, he successfully sneaks out without his parents knowing and stumbles upon a boy named Adrian.

The two quickly become friends. While Adrian was frightened by Nikolai’s sudden appearance, he begins talking to the dhampir. Nikolai, being shy, didn’t speak and chose to respond by nodding or shaking his head instead.

Nikolai continues to sneak out regularly to meet with Adrian. He slowly warms up to him and begins engaging in conversation. Asking him general questions about his life and the world, to which Adrian happily answered.

At some point, Nikolai trusted Adrian enough to tell him he was a dhampir. The boy didn’t care and instead found him even more fascinating. He wanted to learn more about him and reassured him he wasn’t afraid. However, his view of Nikolai quickly changes once his parents find out.

Adrian’s parents urged him to tell them everything he knew about Nikolai. They, alongside the townsfolk, quickly came up with a plan to murder his family. They raid their house, steal their belongings, and burn the place down before inevitably killing Morana and Wilford.

Morana instructs Nikolai to run and hide before they could catch him. She gives him her necklace, telling him to keep it safe. And most importantly, to keep himself safe and to stay alive. The dhampir successfully escapes but the townsfolk did not stop their pursuit. After a few days, they find Nikolai and bring him to the village to execute him.

Nikolai doesn’t even try to fight. He was exhausted and had no strength or will to live. He allows the barbaric men to drag him ruthlessly to the village. Having him beheaded in front of everyone, including Adrian.

At the sight of Adrian, Nikolai breaks down, lashing out and harming the boy in the process. He starts screaming and crying out, asking him why he did this. To which Adrian wordlessly looked back at him in guilt and horror.

By some kind of miracle, Nikolai survives his execution and flees. He finds shelter in a cave, sleeping for decades to heal his wounds but the scar on his neck will never fade away. Nor will his emotional scars fade away either.

Ever since this incident, Nikolai swore to himself not to trust a mortal again. It takes him time to get back up, shocked to find out how different the world has become. After a lot of effort, he integrates himself into society. Masquerading as an orphan abandoned by his parents.

Nikolai never sticks to one place. Often moving to avoid suspicion before finally settling down in London. He successfully finds a career dabbling in art with a part-time gig as a barista.

To this day, Nikolai wonders how he survived and why he did.”

[padfoot0216]

Part 1 of me single handedly trying to grow the Miracle Workers fandom because I love the show.

Segment 1: Out of context quotes (Season 1)

1. Eliza - “Theres no way we can answer all of those [prayers].

Craig - I generally try and shoot for three, four a day. Although, now that I’ve got you, a teammate, theres no telling what we can do. I’m thinking 5…6…maybe as many as 6!”

2. Eliza - “There’s got to be something we can do .

Craig - I mean you can press F7.

Eliza - Does that stop typhoons?

Craig - No but it turns the sound off.”

3. Craig - “And does the debris ever dance?

Person - What?

Craig - Say the debris had lost an object, and then that object were found for it, would the debris be like *insert Craig dancing slightly*”

4. God - “But if you fail…

Eliza - Earth explodes.

God - Yeah but also…you have to eat a worm. Alive. The whole thing. The head and the butt. In front of everyone.”

5. God - “So we could explode his heart, or his lungs, *under his breath* or his penis.

Sanjay - Explode his penis?

God - Woah now that’s an idea!”

6. Abe Lincoln - “Out of my way black cat I’m late for my fun play!”

7. Craig - “Oh, no. No. Im not scared.

Eliza - You’re not?

Craig - No. I’m a bold, intrepid man with a strong mind. I’m a risk taker. I’m a big, bad…boy?”

8. Man 1 - “Oh shit my melon.

Man 2 - There goes our fruit salad.”

9. Craig - “If the world explodes then you will go down as history’s greatest murderer. Nobody wants that.”

10. Person - “This isn’t the department of anuses. We have integrity.”

11. Craig - “Thank you, and this pizza gentleman is gonna live, right?

Eliza- We are back on track.”

12. Eliza - “That necklace…why? I mean who wears bones to a massacre. I mean ugh I thought I was so hip.”

13. Sanjay - “We just watched you eat mud out of a bog.

Craig - Yeah that was clean mud.”

14. Person - “Why is the tornado staying in one place! This is impossible!”

15. [God scatting]

16. Craig - “It would make me really sad if God couldn’t read.”

17. Eliza - “Did he just turn that guy into a jellybean?!”

18. Eliza - “I am objectively bad at my job. I have accidentally killed a ton of people and I’m the leader of this group.

Sanjay - It’s true.

Craig - She leads us.”

19. Craig - “Yes! She saved us! Nooo, I have it away! He knows.”

20. Sanjay - “Okay, okay, new pitch. Uh, how about a romantic carriage ride?

Craig - Nope. Sam’s afraid of horses. Doesn’t like their eyes.

Sanjay - All right, then, uh, what about an eyeless horse? We get some crows, right?

Craig - Wait, where are you getting crows from?

Sanjay - It’s Earth. Anywhere. We get them to swoop down and peck the eyes out of the horse.

Craig - No, crows only peck out of dead things, though. So unless you’re going to get a dead horse-

Sanjay - Then I’ll get a dead horse!”

21. Eliza - “You’d go for it, right?

Craig - Well, no, not necessarily. Not if I was unsure about how she felt about me, or was scared to death if losing her as a friend, and also pretty frightened of her in general.

Eliza - What?

Craig - What?”

22. God’s Brother - “Explain cows.

God - I don’t want to do this anymore.

God’s Brother - Tell mom and dad what a cow is.

God - It’s like a big dog you can drink from.”

23. Gods Brother - “Tell then about giraffes. What’s a giraffe.

God - Tall dog with a leg for a neck.”

24. Craig - “(singing) Mr. Mop and Mrs. Bucket you live on a shelf. One is wet and one is dry and you are both my friends.”

25. Eliza - “(to Craig) Listen I’m sorry we put you in the cabinet.”

26. Person - “I’ll be honest, I’m always high, you know?”

27. Eliza - “Craig! Craig! Are you okay? Craig?

Craig - Bzzzzzzzzzz.

Eliza - *gasp*

Craig - Just kidding.”

28. Sanjay - “(pointing to a word that is clearly mammoths) We do it right here in the department of love.

God - Oh. Makes sense. Okay.

God - There sure is a lot of mammoth stuff in here.”