#(LMAO none of them bother to hide their likes are you kidding me

[heavyhitterheaux]

Down For Life

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU

Liked by y/ninsta, druski2funny, urbanwyatt, normani, jaysontatum, and 105,236 others

autumnharlow: daddy watching mommy's favorite show even though he said it was dumb

urbanwyatt: he's watching the bachelor again isn't he? y/ninsta: urbanwyatt and was mad as hell that his favorite contestant didn't get a rose lmao autumnharlow: urbanwyatt all we heard was him screaming at the tv, "Kelsea?! Kelsea?!? OVER MARIAH? Are we serious right now? How can he not see that the way she even spells her name is suspect?! who spells it like that?!" y/ninsta: autumnharlow not too much on my man now! lmaooo jackharlow: what the?!? who took this?! autumnharlow seriously? autumnharlow: jackharlow mommy made me y/ninsta: it be your own kids telling on you smh jackharlow: y/ninsta well you know if we were on that show, I would choose you every time blancahood: jackharlow I guess so because she would have fought anybody that came near you lmao y/ninsta: blancahood lmaoooo no lies told jessicakelce: I still remember her beating up that girl at lunch and she grabbed 2fo's milk and hit her in the back of the head quiiso: I WAS DYINGGGGGGG LAUGHING LMAO jackharlow: well that girl shouldn't have asked me to the dance IN FRONT OF MY GIRLFRIEND, she had it coming lmao urbanwyatt: and right before our winter formal lmao yungskylark: so we just chilled in her backyard that night because she got suspended lmao shloob_: look we were like either all of private garden goes or none of us goes 😭 y/ninsta: yall been down for me since the beginning and I love it 😭

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, 2forwoyne, quiiso, privategarden, jessicakelce, and 1,497,062 others

y/ninsta: idk who let these two out of the house unsupervised but it wasn't me 🙃

jackharlow: y/ninsta IT WAS YOU! YOU SAID I COULD GO! y/ninsta: jackharlow I don't recall baby. You just left me by my lonesome. jessicakelce: y/ninsta you not by your lonesome with them six kids you got lmao go bother them y/ninsta: jessicakelce I'm hiding from them axelwyatt: y/ninsta mom, I'm hungry y/ninsta: axelwyatt mom? who's mom? urbanwyatt: y/ninsta you better answer your kids lmaooooo y/ninsta: urbanwyatt I don't have any autumnharlow: jackharlow DADDY, MOMMY ISN'T CLAIMING US jackharlow: autumnharlow who...... who are you? blancahood: lmaooo yall are a hot ass mess smh ivyharlow: that's okay, I'm telling grandma jackharlow: IVY, YOU BETTER NOT maggieharlow: jackharlow too late. you two are starving my babies? jackharlow: maggieharlow they have eaten us out of a house, home, car, yacht, all of it smh normani: I see number 7 in the future jackharlow: normani give me a few years y/ninsta: jackharlow give you a few years to do WHAT?! jackharlow: y/ninsta love you baby 😘

Liked by y/ninsta, urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, blancahood, brandisimmons, saweetie and 3,286,451 others

jackharlow: I know yall can tell who dressed them today 🥰

y/ninsta: Cash and Cam, my greatest joys 😍 ivyharlow: y/ninsta soooo we don't exist? we are your first born children? jessicakelce: OMG THEY ARE ADORABLE saweetie: my cutest littlest nephews! y/ninsta: ivyharlow I'm not claiming you as my child until you clean your room like I asked now get off your phone before I take it ivyharlow: y/ninsta fine smh urbanwyatt: outfits courtesy of uncle urby and auntie curse 🥰 theestallion: jackharlow has gotten better with his fashion choices over the years so I expected nothing less jackharlow: theestallion I'm ignoring you smh dualipa: awww my little babies!! so cute! brandisimmons: and look at those smiles! druski2funny: I already know from the looks on their faces, they about to be bad as hell jackharlow: druski2funny you better shut the hell up and not speak that into existence y/ninsta: druski2funny imma whoop your ass druski2funny: yall remember when I was babysitting the triplets and they tied me to a chair and put tape over my mouth? I was trapped for hours jackharlow: druski2funny lmaoooo I still have photographic evidence, how could we forget? y/ninsta: nah, but urbanwyatt got the worst of it because he was put in solitary confinement lmaooo urbanwyatt: y/ninsta don't bring up old shit smh jackandy/naremyparents: still so happy to witness the life that they created for themselves allthingsy/n: been here since the beginning and still going strong!

Liked by urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, blancahood, saweetie, quiiso, privategarden, and 2,384,200 others

y/ninsta: the face I make on a daily basis because these kids have me fighting for my life

jackharlow THIS IS YOUR FAULT

jackharlow: you wanna make another one? y/ninsta: jackharlow BLOCKED dualipa: jackharlow you've done enough lmao get off of her jackharlow: dualipa I can never do enough y/ninsta: jackharlow SAYS WHO? jackharlow: y/ninsta me 🥰 y/ninsta: normani look what you started smh quiiso: jackharlow y/ninsta yall can have another one and give it to me jackharlow: quiiso yeah right, all y/ninsta has to do is take one look at them and she's going to want to keep them brandisimmons: jackharlow she has a nurturing spirit, we all know this. that's why she was able to keep yall asses in check 2forwoyne: brandisimmons now why am I in it? brandisimmons: 2forwoyne because you liked to steal people's food back in the day smh 2forwoyne: look if it was left unclaimed, I was eating it y/ninsta: 2forwoyne sounds like my second born smh axelwyatt: maggieharlow they still didn't feed me jackharlow: axelwyatt now why are you lying? 🙄 maggieharlow: jackharlow that's okay. I'm coming to get them and feeding them and you can't have any claybornharlow: I'm coming too jackharlow: claybornharlow the accidental child has returned y/ninsta: JACKMAN STOP IT RIGHT NOW claybornharlow: y/ninsta it's okay, I'm just biding my time jackharlow: claybornharlow what are you planning? 👀👀👀 y/ninsta: oh good lord smh claybornharlow: jackharlow that's for me to know and you'll find out when the time comes ivyharlow: uncle clay just blame it on autumn, she does everything else she's not supposed to autumnharlow: ivyharlow and that's why you're adopted ivyharlow: autumn, I look exactly like our mother, try again axelwyatt: I'm still the favorite sooooo the two of you arguing is unnecessary smh

Liked by jackharlow, cardib, generationnow, estgee, lilnasx, drusi2funny, 2forwoyne, and 4,291,763 others

y/ninsta: Ivy, Axel, Autumn, Nova, Cash, and Camden Harlow's momma 🥰

Damn that was a mouthful 🤣

jackharlow: we going for number seven 😍😍😍😍 y/ninsta: jackharlow don't make me block you again saweetie: jack, pleaseeee let my girl live lmaoooo y/ninsta: saweetie that's okay, he's going to wake up one day and hear the tires screeching out the driveway and he'll have to fend for himself for 48 hours urbanwyatt: jackharlow and don't call me to help you druski2funny: jackharlow or me. I've had enough of my fair share of terror of the Harlow children y/ninsta: NOT TOO MUCH ON MY BABIES NOW 🤨🤨🤨 autumnharlow: y/ninsta nice of you to claim us, mother y/ninsta: autumnharlow don't you have homework to do? jessicakelce: the blue hair baddie has returned! sza: do I hear a girls trip in the future being planned? jackharlow: sza NO. not unless y/ninsta can put me in her suitcase quiiso: jackharlow now bruh....... urbanwyatt: jackharlow lmaoooo now you know good and well privategarden is having flashbacks from the last time when we had to BEG neelam to buy you a plane ticket to go and see your wife yungskylark: he had everybody's ass stressed out claybornharlow: and was getting on maggieharlow's nerves so I know it was bad lmao she was calling me saying 'please come and get your brother to entertain him because I don't know how much more I can take' lmaooooo axelwyatt: he's been a simp since he was 14 and nothing has changed jackharlow: axelwyatt being a simp is what got you here so tread lightly and you are just as bad if not WORSE than me when it comes to your mom autumnharlow: hmm dad has a point, ax y/ninsta: yall better not come for my baby! jackharlow: y/ninsta I knew you'd have my back 🥰 y/ninsta: jackharlow I was talking about axel jackharlow: y/ninsta SO YOU JUST LEAVE ME TO FEND FOR MYSELF? y/ninsta: jackharlow yes, you can handle it urbanwyatt: LMAOOOOOOO axel is literally jackharlow in a kid's body

Liked by brandisimmons, theshaderoom, blancahood, sza, theestallion, jaysontatum, urbanwyatt, and 2,182,963 others

y/ninsta: my face when jackharlow suggests we make another baby. SIR, MY VAGINA IS TIRED 😫

saweetie: jackharlow imma have to kidnap her if you don't let my girl live in peace jackharlow: saweetie not too much on me now. yall remember last week when you, her, and hot chips went to brunch and drank all those damn mimosas? I came to get her, drunk off her ass and she was damn near trying to rip my clothes off as I was driving. IT'S NOT ME, IT'S HER urbanwyatt: lmaooo and I was a witness to this so jackharlow is in fact not lying lmaoooo sza: hmm we have evidence in the group chat that suggests otherwise, but since you have a witness this time, imma let it slide y/ninsta: jackharlow I... what? not you telling on me jackharlow: y/ninsta I had to defend my name! you always throwing me under the bus! claybornharlow: jackharlow actually you do that to yourself, but.... druski2funny: now why am I up there? what I do?! y/ninsta: druski2funny you cheap as hell for giving the triplets a coupon to mcdonalds for their birthday and told them that they had to all share the medium fry that the coupon was for blancahood: PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE 2forwoyne: now druski2funny you know better lmao lilnasx: he ghetto as hell and he doesn't know any better smh druski2funny: y/ninsta I HADN'T GOTTEN PAID YET jackharlow: druski2funny lies you tell jessicakelce: their faces were priceless lmaoooo autumnharlow: and he wonders why he got tied up smh axelwyatt: playing cops and robbers, but there was nothing to rob since he didn't have anything normani: I AM LITERALLY CRYINGGGG druski2funny: now why everybody coming for me?!? y/ninsta: druski2funny and you wanted to be his life partner so bad, but cheap as hell? that was not about to fly smh jackharlow: y/ninsta sooo about number seven? y/ninsta: jackharlow you know I'm down for you for life but.... ABSOLUTELY NOT smh jackharlow: well it was worth a shot I guess smh

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[ladylooch]

does lucie have a similar experience to liv and the domestic violence situation?

maybe someone at school told her that her daddy hits her mom

and then lucie was worried for the rest of the day about if nico does that

and when she got home she was acting weird with nico and wouldn’t really hug him or anything

and then at dinner maybe nico raised his hand at lexi to grab her face for a kiss or something

and lucie starts yelling and screaming at nico

Nonnie, holy shit, this is dark 🥺

Maybe it's a video in school? Like in health class? ( did you all have those lmao) and they showcase different types of abuse and what the signs are. Lucie doesn't see any of those signs in her family, however, she gets very anxious about even the prospect of anything happening between her parents. So when she comes home and sees her parents in the kitchen, she is very observant.

Lexi and Nico are cuddled up at the kitchen island as they work on dinner together. They've been handsy with each other all day, not bothering to hide it in front of their children now. Who cares if their kids know how in love they still are with each other?

Lexi is being chased around by Nico, jokingly asking him to stop, but Nico keeps trying to grab her with his raw meat hands.

"Dad, STOP." Lucie says from across the island. Her little palms press hard into the cool stone of the counter. Nico and Lexi were laughing, then stop when they see the seriousness on their daughter's face. Mack and Sophie are curiously looking on from the kitchen table. "Mom said stop, so you stop."

"Oh.. babe, we were just-" Lexi begins, wrapping an arm around Nico's waist to show she is okay.

"No, Lex, she's right." Nico nods. They share a look. "Kidding or not, if you say stop, I should stop. I'm sorry." He goes over to the sink and washes his hands. Lucie's heart is pounding in her chest as she sits back down on the barstool.

"I'm sorry, honey. Daddy and I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." Lexi murmurs, coming in front of Lucie. She leans her forearms on the counter, looking at her disgruntled daughter.

"It's not funny when people don't listen."

"Yep. We need to be respectful of people's bodies, boundaries, and words." Nico nods in agreement with his wife, coming around the island to give Lucie a hug. She snuggles into his chest. Nico smoothes her brown hair down, looking at his wife with a cringe. He never wants his girls to think someone continuing on after saying stop is okay.

"I'm sorry, mama." Lexi tilts her head to the side, falling in love with her husband all over again watching him model this behavior for their girls.

"Thank you. I appreciate that. Will you come back and help me without your meaty hands?"

"Yes." He squeezes Lucie tight again, then looks into her confused face. "We good, Lu?"

"Yeah." She sighs, pulling away to go back to her homework.

The Hischiers work quietly, music playing from the Google Home, for the next little bit. Eventually Sophie and Mack head off to play, already done with their school work. This leaves Lucie, Nico, and Lexi alone in the kitchen. After the sounds of her sisters leave the room, Lucie puts her pencil down.

"Why do people hurt people?" They both stand still.

"What do you mean, babe?" Lexi asks.

"Like... when you love someone and you're in a relationship, why would you hit them? We watched a movie in school and these people were in love but arguing and the man hit her. But she didn't tell anyone."

"Well, people shouldn't. That's not love." Lexi says. "That is called domestic violence and it's never okay. It can happen in all different types of relationships, even between kids and their parents." Lucie cringes. "Baby, we would never hit you. I hope you're not worried about that?"

"I know, but why! Why do people do that?" Lucie starts to become emotional. Nico can't stomach the look on her face. He comes back over to her, catching her upset little body into his arms.

"There are a lot of reasons this happens, baby. And none of them are okay. That's what you need to know right now. It's never okay to hit anyone you love." Nico pauses, lips on her head, wondering what she needs to hear the most right now. "You're safe, Luc. We all are in this house, okay?" Lucie nods, exhaling heavily. Lexi comes around to them. Nico opens her arms to get her into their hug. Lucie clings to both her parents.

"We love you, sweet girl." Lexi murmurs to her daughter. Her and Nico look at each other, smiling tenderly, grateful for the soft and safe life they are able to give to their girls.

[beauleifu]

HELLO GOOD MORNING 👁〰️👁 HOW ARE YOU?? I literally just woke up HEHDHS MERRY HOLIDAYS FREN

Let’s hope that my request is readable since my brain be mushed💦 Could we get a S/O who’s very flirty and tries to win Mayor’s heart during a mission while he acts oblivious at their attempts to swoon him, he finds them charming for what they do c:

YES CHIMEMORI THIS ASK IS BRILLIANT

oml i never thought i'd be into an idea more, guys guys this was so much fun to write, like PRETENDING TO BE A COUPLE SHIT, anyways, hope you enjoy! Sorry if it's late lmao, hardest part was figuring out what the mission should entail <3 :))

p.s. dont come for me, this is purely fictional and even though I did a tiny bit of research, i know little of dishes served in fancy Chinese restaurants and even less about their signature architecture style, i'm just going off my imagination

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MAYOR X READER

Lego Monkie Kid

Context: You're in love. The problem? You're terrible at it. To make matters worse, the charmer you've fallen for is oblivious to your flirtatious antics (or is he??). Thankfully, all's well that ends well especially when Lady Bone Demon assigns you two together, on a mission. Matchmakers really do play dirty.

CW: None, Mayor doesn't even tolerate foul language (you learned the hard way)

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

"Go."

Those were the last words Lady Bone Demon said to both you and her henchman before vanishing in a cloud of blue smoke.

It never bothered you, the missions she'd send you on.

You're working for her; it's not like you can complain about something you signed up for. Externally, you follow orders to a T, because if you're not useful then she'll be rid of you. And that is simply not an option, because if you're not at her side then you're not at his.

The Mayor.

The idiot who wormed his way into your cold heart of fire and ice.

And you don't even know his real name.

You've resorted to nicknames, to which he doesn't mind (you'll get extra creative behind doors, alone), but you're really dying to know his birthname. Perhaps with a bit more time, he'll open up.

Right now, you're standing in the mirror, as you have been for the past two minutes. Just staring. Nothing wrong with that.

Unless you were making sure you look perfect for . . . someone.

That's hypothetical, of course.

An idiot in denial looks back at you in the reflection, nervous and tense with anticipation of what's to come.

With a huff, you will yourself not to screw this one up and grasp the doorknob to your bedroom. Your spacious, beautiful bedroom, carved from stone and bone and ice long, long ago. The Mayor had given you a tour of the place once, having been eager to relay to you the wonderful history of this underground fortress. A buried landscape of beauty.

Oh dear, you're getting sidetracked.

Focus, (Y/N).

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

"Soooo. I guess Lady Bone Demon put us together, huh? Wonder what she's got in store for us."

Well, that was an awkward start.

Lucky for you, it's dark outside and the lack of light is sufficient enough to hide the embarrassment clear on your face. Your partner keeps on strolling down the abandoned alleyway, hands folded neatly behind his back and that familiar, lazy smile on his face.

"Did she not enclose the details to you?" The Mayor asks, turning to you.

Shrugging, you vault over a few storage crates. "Not really."

As you slow to a walk beside him, the two of you round the corner into a more open sidewalk, exhibiting a nice view of the Megapolis Bank.

Briefly, you hypothesize that this is your destination, when the Mayor clears his throat, a sure sign he's about to elaborate.

"My Lady needs another soul to absorb, and conveniently for us, there lies within Megapolis a demon powerful enough to sustain her for the time being," the Mayor hums, blank white eyes flicking to the sky. He's always on constant alert, and yet he always seems so relaxed and chipper. "We are to retrieve the asset and deliver him for proper sacrifice."

"Sacrifice?"

He flashes you a wry smile. "He is an energy source, my dear. Otherwise, my mistress will surely fail to fulfill her destiny, being as weak as she is."

A frown lights your features. Lady Bone Demon doesn't look weak.

You chalk it up to demons being superb at hiding their true selves. Half the time you can't even dissect the Mayor's intentions, even if it's a simple trip to the men's room and he'd told you he'd be unavailable for a few minutes.

In the end, you smile. "As long as there's a reward for delivering an innocent person to her."

"Reward?" The Mayor repeats, blinking. "That being fulfilling our destiny; to serve her. Were you hoping for something else?"

Oh, there's no reward.

You stare incredulously at your partner, about to backtrack, when he suddenly chuckles in amusement. Your eyes widen (see? See? The Mayor is incredibly hard to read), jaw slackening as you realize.

"You're joking. There is a reward!"

"Perhaps! Would you consider the next few days off prize enough?"

You're grinning, now, tailing alongside the Mayor like a joyful puppy. His eyes are twinkling at your antics. "A few days?? Are you kidding? That goes way beyond my expectations."

It's true. Lady Bone Demon hardly ever rewards you for completing your missions. The most time she's given you off is eight hours, and even then you'd treated those moments like gold, savoring it up until you were summoned once more.

This missions suddenly feels extremely important.

Maybe that's why LBD offered this specific reward; to entice you to go against your morals. Then again, where were your morals when you served someone like her?

"I see you're properly motivated," the Mayor says, eyes fixed on you.

You wink, attempting a flirt. "This'll be a piece of cake. And hey, maybe we can spend our days off together."

He pauses, seeming to actually consider this.

"I wouldn't refuse a game of chess."

"No, I meant- oh, nevermind," you say with a little, awkward laugh. Sighing wistfully, you clear your throat and glance sideways. "So! Are we almost there? Where are we going, anyways? The bank?"

The Mayor falls quiet as the two of you pass a few strangers. "A restaurant," the Mayor answers, when the people turn a corner. He flexes his fingers. "The demon is the owner. An intelligent move on his part, for there is no risk of encountering people like us. Unless, of course, we booked reservations for first-class service."

He's smiling mysteriously, now. You could almost call it mischievous.

You're getting near it now. The details of this mission.

"This must be a very fancy restaurant, then."

"The finest in the city," the Mayor agrees, turning a corner. Then, he stops all together, enticing you to halt as well. "We must dress and act the part if we are to get close to the target. Be polite, don't refuse the wine selection."

You nod, mentally prepping yourself for the mission. Then, your eyes trail up, realizing exactly why your partner had stopped.

The restaurant is huge, glittering, and loud.

Five, gold stars are positioned just beneath the restaurant's trademark name, The Dragon Dynasty. A thick trail of people waiting in line flow out of the building and to the left, vanishing down the sidewalk. A similar line stretching to the right is much smaller, but greeted at the door by two hulking men dressed in tight black suits, wearing sunglasses and deep frowns. The token bodyguards you'd see in everyday action movies.

The breath is stolen from you. Slowly, you glance down at your own attire, feeling suddenly very underdressed and very stupid.

"We can't go in there. Not like this!" You gasp.

Your partner smiles knowingly. "My lady is completely prepared for this, my dear. She was the sole one responsible for booking reservations months in advance, you know."

"I know that. But it's not like she can magically manifest a-"

You cut yourself off.

For some reason, your skin begins to tingle. Eyes wide with shock and awe, you glance down at the Mayor's own attire, watching it shift and transform into something more fit for the occasion. A lovely, handsome black tuxedo with a long tail and a white bow. His undershirt ghosted from light blue to white in mere moments, the black sleeves of his tux slipping upwards to reveal white cuffs.

Your own attire has endured a similar transformation, something that hugs your body flawlessly and washes away any insecurities you'd been nursing regarding the mission.

Fingertips tentatively travel along your new outfit. "Oh my stars."

"How elegant," the Mayor says, slippery-smooth, his white eyes suddenly like a hawk. "My lady has astute taste in fashion."

Your cheeks are on fire, but you manage a smile.

"You as well. Very debonair."

The outfits feel like they're meant for each-other, even somewhat bone-themed to better represent your mistress. Your companion gives you one last once-over before continuing down the sidewalk.

"Shall we?"

Biting your lip, you sidle up next to him, unable to help glancing over his outfit a few times.

"That outfit really brings out your smile, y'know."

He hums a laugh. "Very corny, my dear. I'm sure you'll reap great success if you attempt something similar in front of our target."

You're frowning, now. Try again. "Uh . . . How about, um . . . If I had a flower for every time you made me smile, I'd be walking in my garden forever," you say seriously, daring to look at him.

That line.

It was meant for him. Of course, it's hidden under the assumption it's meant for someone else.

The Mayor's eyebrows lift. "You have yet to meat the target, though."

"Oh. Oh, right. I mean, hypothetically. I dunno. Maybe it would work on someone I've known for awhile? Someone I work with?" You babble, heart rate spiking as you near the restaurant. Which line will you wait in? How are you ever going to get close to the manager? Why does your face feel on fire?

His smile is relaxed once more. "I suppose."

You swallow. Try again?

Lips part to formulate the words for another pick-up line, but the Mayor glance down at you, beating you to it.

"Oh, one final detail I forgot to disclose. My lady made reservations for the two of us as, dare I say, a couple. First class is not often given to single individuals, families, or mere companions."

Ah.

Your heart skips a beat. "A couple?"

"Don't worry, it's a temporary act in order to get close to the manager. We might as well get the full experience," he returns, eyes twinkling. "Won't this be fun?"

Throat running quite dry, you nod. "With you? I can't imagine it being too awful."

He chuckles again, but there's no more time for words.

You've made it to the front.

The bodyguards stare down at you for a moment before moving to the side to reveal a small, well-dressed woman drowning in make-up, who stands and approaches the two of you with a dull frown. She's seen this before. Been doing this all night, and probably wants to go home desperately.

"Last name?" The lady says boredly.

You feel the Mayor's arm slide through yours, linking the both of you together. "Bone," he says smoothly.

Bone.

How fitting.

You decide it's better than using a last name from Lady Bone Demon's time, considering she's ancient and has lived long past hundreds of family names. 'Bone' is even in her title. Fitting, indeed.

The woman shifts through her clipboard, eyes narrowing. You hold your breath.

"Mr. and Mx. Bone. You got a meeting with the boss?"

"Correct," the Mayor says.

The lady nods. "Through here, then."

She sidesteps, gesturing through the large golden doors, opening one of them to let the two of you pass. Ignoring the glares and mutters of the people in line, the two of you enter the building, leaving behind the cold outdoors and entering an entirely different world.

It's amazing.

You can't describe it. Not the plants you've never seen before in the corners, not the dazzling chandelier overseeing the luxurious dining tables and bars, the glittering diamonds reflecting off the wine bottles sitting by the hundreds on the wine racks. They stretch up to the ceiling, where Chinese history paints the sky with beautiful colors and people. A band in the corner plays smooth café music, the sound distant yet nostalgic for you. And there's people. So many people, despite how hard it is to get a reservation here. They crowd the place, making it difficult to navigate to first class.

The Mayor gives your arm a gentle squeeze. "Should I be afraid you might fall unconscious?"

"No. Are you trying to seduce me?"

"No," he hums, leading you up the wide, elegant, bifurcated staircase. Your free hand trails along the polished, wooden handrail, wishing your eyes were wider so you could see absolutely everything.

"Well, it's working," you whisper, half to yourself.

Pretend to be a couple. Wear expensive clothes probably worth more than your life. Eat at the fanciest restaurant in the city.

You feel like maybe you should read between the lines.

But all of the sudden, you're too busy reading the menu, eyes wide at the expansive selection.

So. Much. Food.

Your stomach growls in anticipation.

"Do we even have the money for this?" You wonder, breathless.

The Mayor's eyes rove over his own menu before placing it down and lacing his fingers together underneath his chin. Locking eyes with you, he cocks a brow. "Need I remind you my Lady has been planning this for months? She is-"

"Completely prepared, I know," you mumble, ducking behind the menu.

Glaring at the beautifully decorated dinner table, you bite your lip and think. Tonight might be your once chance to woo the Mayor. Is it crazy, though, to try it here? Now?

Heart racing, you lower the menu.

"I've never been on a date with a demon, before."

The Mayor had been observing the portraits lining the walls, but now his white eyes are on you. "A date?"

"Don't worry, this won't send my expectations through the roof," you continue, wearing a casual smile yet you're nervous to the bone. Hiding shaking hands under the sleek tablecloth, you try for a small smile. "Spending time with you meets all of them."

Fingers crossed, you hope this works.

The Mayor nods, eyes trailing to inspect your outfit. "We do what's necessary to fulfill our mistress's desires, I suppose."

No.

NO.

You'd failed! He's too oblivious!

Wishing you could throw hands and let out an exasperated yell, you take a deep, controlled breath. You can still make this WORK. "I mean, it's not everyday I get to spend time with my favorite person."

"Hmm." The Mayor's eyes rove over your features, thoughtful yet cheery at the same time. He suddenly chuckles. "You must be hungry, my dear! We mustn't pick favorites when it comes to food, but I daresay I have yet to turn down a dish of roasted duck. Shall we order while the night is still young?"

God damnit.

This is going to be harder than you thought.

You force a smile. "Uh-huh. Yup. I'll have (dinner dish)."

The two of you make your orders when the waitress walks by, and it still sends tingles down your spine when she addresses you both under the same last name.

When she walks off, you're inclined to notice the other couples sitting at the other tables.

Eyes darting south, you inspect a specific pair.

Their holding hands.

Head snapping up, you lift your hands onto your own table and make a motion for the Mayor to do the same. He eyes you curiously, and you shrug. "The other couples are doing it. We might as well, to look the part. Just for a bit."

"I suppose, if you're sincerely nervous about getting caught," he hums.

In one swift movement, he takes your hands in his.

They're cold.

And yet, it sends a thrill of warmth through your entire body, and you fight hard to suppress a smile. Here you were, trying to flirt with him, and yet getting destroyed by your own plans. Oh, gosh.

He seems to detect the tremble in your fingers. "Eager to get this over with?" He guesses, eyes seeing right through you.

You shake your head quickly. "Nuh-uh. This is amazing."

"You did mention your outfit likely costs more than your life," he murmurs, eyes twinkling with the fact that he doesn't believe this claim. "I advise you try and make the most of it."

"Ha ha. Your hands are cold."

"You don't like it?"

He seems ready to let go, so you give him a squeeze before removing one to pat the top of his hand. "I do like it. Your hands are the best. Big cold grabbers that snatched my soul from my chest the moment I saw you."

"Ha! It's a wonder you're still alive." He flashes you his signature unhinged smile.

Then, woe is you, he lets you go. You're cursing your rotten luck as he leans back in his vanilla soft chair. "You must be wondering how we are to set our plan in motion?"

"A bit, yeah," you say faintly. Really, you're wondering what other ways you can get the Mayor to notice your flirtatious attempts.

"You see, first class seating not only secures us an exquisite meal, but also a chance to discuss business plans with the manager. My Lady was willing to pay an entire chest of coins to set up a private meeting with our target!" The Mayor says, clasping his hands together with a dark look in his eyes. "Isn't that wonderful!"

You bite your lip. "So what are we doing waiting here, then?"

"As you will soon find out, the asset is protected by a constant flow of bodyguards, those of which I trust you to subdue in due time. For now, we have five minutes until the show begins." A glance at his watch, wisps of blue flowing from the metal. Then, eyes full of excitement, he cracks a sincere smile. "I eagerly await your performance, my dear."

Wait a second.

You ball your hands in your fists. "You want me to subdue the bodyguards? Shouldn't I be enticing the target?"

"While it's true that the target prefers either man or woman, I shall do the talking. He has an intricate way of discussing matters that quite irks my Lady, and will no doubt touch a sore spot with you."

"Pfft. You're the only sore spot I have," you say, smiling.

He returns it tenfold as two bodyguards ascend the staircase and station themselves at either side of the eating area. Then, the target himself makes his presence clear. He's a quite large fellow, with spiraling horns and razor sharp claws. Yet his eyes are intelligent and darting everywhere in search of danger.

You catch the Mayor's quick side glance; orders to carry out the mission.

If you leave, the demon is sure to send one of his guards to keep an eye on you. When you two are alone, you are to properly subdue the guard and make the owner suspicious enough to send his other guard for a quick investigation. Bam.

Sure, the bodyguards could crush you, but you'd rather them than a literal demon with claws and fangs.

So you slide off your chair, giving the manager a dashing smile before trailing your fingertips up the Mayor's arm, stopping at his shoulder and squeezing lightly.

"A kiss before I go, darling? I'll only be five minutes."

The Mayor blinks, white eyes wide.

He collects himself quickly, however, and tilts his head just an inch to the side, giving you permission.

You smile, giving his cheek a light peck. You'd go for the real deal, but you sort of want to be a tease right now. It's working, as you catch the Mayor's distracted glance as you head off to who knows where. The bar, maybe. Everyone's left there.

You stop at the doors, straining yourself to hear the conversation at the top level. Unfortunately, you'd picked a place far out of ear reach.

"Fear not, my loyal pawn . . ."

You stiffen, eyes darting down to your outfit.

Someone had spoken.

From the fabric.

A light, female laugh reaches your ears. "It's your mistress, (Y/N). I am here to assist you in your mission."

Eyes wide and staring at your clothes, you clear your throat and cock your head, hesitation writhing inside of you. "Uh . . . hi. This won't, um, subtract any days off from my break, right?"

"No, don't worry. Now . . ."

A pocket watch materializes on your hip.

You pick it up, admiring the soft bone shell that encompasses the watch, flipping it open to see the interior. But alas, it's not a watch.

It's some sort of spying mechanism.

"Use this to observe and listen to your partner's conversation," LBD whispers in your ear. "It will vanish after tonight."

You nod wordlessly, knowing better than to offer a smart reply or crack a joke. If it were the Mayor, you'd for sure pull something silly, but this is your boss.

Swallowing nervously as LBD's presence fades, you peer at the watch/spyglass, eyes narrowing curiously. Forget about LBD manifesting in your clothes (she did create them, you suppose), the Mayor was currently hosting a false discussion with the manager regarding a potential trade in goods. His tone and demeanor is strangely unhinged when you're not around, intimidating yet cheery, his movements also loud and boisterous. You wonder if it's all an act.

The stuff they discuss just goes in one ear and out the other.

That is, until the manager sends one of his guards down to check on you. The five minute mark.

You're late.

Smiling wickedly, you pocket the watch and recede into the shadows. Time to put your skills to use, yessir.

Of course, you do. Flawlessly.

The bodyguard stood no chance. He has zero warning as you launched yourself onto him, hooking your legs around his neck and bringing him crashing to the floor. Luckily, no was is around to witness the attack, giving you plenty of time to overpower the man with a few quick jabs - and he falls still.

Then, you drag his body into the nearest men's room, grunting with effort.

You do (and can't help but) pause at the many artworks lining the walls, and the beautiful designs that cover the restroom sinks. If only this were a real date, you think wistfully.

Once the man is properly hidden, you take out the watch again.

"Didn't your partner say they'd only be five minutes? It's been twenty," the manager is saying.

"Are you changing the subject, perhaps?"

"No! I'm suspicious."

"Whatever reason to be suspicious, my good man! I'm sure they haven't gotten themself into any trouble. We have wine to enjoy!"

That's your Mayor. Crazy and theatrical as ever.

"Nonetheless." The manager snaps his fingers, grabbing the last bodyguard's attention. In a silent movement, he instructs the hulking man to follow you, sealing his fate.

You listen for a few more moments, biting your lip as you watch the manager play right into the Mayor's hands.

Either from intimidation or something else.

God, he's good.

You're too busy admiring your comrade to notice the danger.

Too late, you hear the restroom door swing open, and suddenly there stands a tall, imposing figure in the doorway. Your escape route is blocked. The bodyguard spares one glance at you, and the occupied bathroom stall next to you, and correctly assumes the worst.

You whip to your feet, stuffing the watch in your pocket where you feel it dissipate into the clothes.

"Uh-" You start, offering a show of hands. "Nice bathroom, huh?"

The bodyguard shuts the door and locks it.

Damnit.

You roll your shoulders, feeling regret at the prospect of damaging your outfit. Keeping your cool, you meet the guy's cold gaze behind his dark sunglasses. "I'm guessing you don't want to talk about it with me."

Silence.

"Good. 'Cause you'll soon be talking about how you got the best sleep of your life-"

You lunge, teeth bared.

The bodyguard is well prepared, though.

One quick movement of his arm is all it takes to stop your plans all together and send to crashing to the floor, wheezing and clutching your stomach.

He stalks towards you, footsteps loud on the chalk white, polished floor.

You wince as his hand raises to crush you, when-

When his eyes glaze over.

Mouth open in a silent, shocked scream, he convulses on the spot, crumbling to the floor in a mess of noiseless gasps and gags. His skin turns sallow and grey, the life draining from his eyes.

You look up.

The Mayor stands over the bodyguard's lifeless body, eyes glowing.

They dim down a bit when they lock with yours, but that unhinged smile never leaves. "What a coincidence to see you, my dear! I see you're having trouble with your part of the mission."

"Thank you," you gasp, scrambling to your feet. "I tried to seduce him with the architecture here- quite pretty, might I say - but he wasn't having it. You wanna take his place?"

"I'd be delighted," he hums cheerily, holding out a hand. "But I do believe we are short on time."

"Right, right. Did you just suck out his soul, by the way?"

As you take his arm and he draws you close, the both of you oblivious to the chaos outside the beautiful restaurant, the Mayor has the dignity to roll his eyes fondly. "I doubt that concerns you, darling, but I suppose it's fruitless to offer a different explanation."

"I think it was so hot," you flirt, grinning stupidly.

He merely blinks, pulling you closer. A word of preparation in your ear and he teleports the both of you to your dinner table, above the madness taking place below.

The manager looks furious.

"There you are! One minute we were just about to sign the papers and the next, you vanish!"

The Mayor simply smiles smugly. "Apologies! I was simply protecting my comrade from danger! I'm sure you understand."

The target's eyes dart from you to the menacing bone demon at your side. Realization crosses his uneasy face. "Where are my guards?" He wonders briefly, glancing down the balcony.

At that moment, the Mayor makes his move.

He locks eyes with you. "Close your eyes, my darling. We'll be leaving, now."

You obey without thought, squeezing your eyes shut.

The world spins out of focus and you feel your feet swept out from under you, but the Mayor keeps a firm hold of you. Even when your feet once again meet solid ground, he won't relinquish his hold, if but a mere relaxation of his grip.

You crack an eye open.

"Well done."

Both eyes flick wide to take in your surroundings. You're back in LBD's underground fortress, the chaos of The Dragon Dynasty but a mere ghost of what it was.

At your side; the Mayor, dressed in his usual attire. Fancy suit gone.

At your feet; the manager, tied up and gagged.

Asleep, mercifully.

Your own beautiful attire has been reduced to what it was before, all traces of LBD's magic gone. Part of you misses feeling so wonderfully luxurious, but you're really just happy to be alive and back home.

Lady Bone Demon herself slowly descends the stone steps, her stony gaze bordering on approval. Crouching, she inspects the demon at her feet. "Excellent," she hisses.

Sharp, cold eyes flick upwards. "You may go."

The Mayor gives a short bow, still smiling, still with his arm around your waist.

It shifts to hook around your arm, gently yet firmly tugging you away. "Enjoy, my Lady."

You remain silent, something you'd learned was appreciated here. Only when the towering doors to LBD's chambers close do you turn to the Mayor with a goofy smile on your face.

"That was awesome!"

He allows himself to relax, smile more casual. "Agreed."

"Let's not do that ever again."

"Never?"

You laugh, feeling light as air as you travel down the large, imposing hallway, adorned with countless side doors and flaring blue torches. You've gotten used to the bones in every corner, with furry rodents scattering into eyes of skulls and through cracks in the walls.

When you calm down, the Mayor stops and leans down, murmuring right in your ear. "You know, I'd like to have that kiss back now."

Your heart jumps.

Eyes wide, you stare up at him, noses inches apart.

"I-I thought you didn't notice . . ."

"You thought I was oblivious?" A softer smile lights his features, white eyes boring into yours. A deep chuckle vibrates in his throat. "Oh, sweet thing. I thought you were adorable tonight."

Cheeks heating up, you swallow dryly. "T-Thanks. I, um . . . thought you were pretty-"

The last part of your sentence is cut off rather sharply.

The Mayor closes the distance between your lips in one swift movement, one hand sliding behind your head to gently coax you forward.

His lips are cold.

Yet so, very soft. You close your eyes, tilting your head ever so slightly. He can surely feel your small smile by now.

After a moment, he leans back, only to kiss your forehead tenderly.

You bite your lip, trying to calm your heart.

"I eagerly await the next few days," the Mayor mumbles, white eyes half-lidded as they fix on you, inspecting your features fondly. The hand behind your head goes to brush your cheek, touch feather-light. "We don't have to play chess."

God, you love him.

Struggling against a laugh, you meet his warm gaze. "You'd better hope not."

[silviakundera]

Joy of Life Episode 21 Liveblogging

This is my first watch, so don't tell me secrets ;)

The episode opens with an elaborate farce. The emperor & Chen Pingping are playing their roles with gusto (what? raise the army? 😮) and the 2 princes are like, the audacity of this bitch 🙄

It's the most relatable the princes have ever been

ML looks kinda sad.

Chen Pingping actually trying to stop the marriage but the prime minister has converted into a shipper

Glad they didn't try to play it like the Prime Minister could be so easily fooled.

Emperor & Chen Pingping can't let anyone be aware of Wu Zhu? INTERESTING.

Prime Minister thinking the ultimate killer of his son was the emperor is for the best (for our protagonist)

spend time with Wan'er ? er idk if that's a good idea right now

Prime Minister vs Royal Princess throw down!! PM has some care for his kids. I'm a little fascinated that PM has clocked Fan Xian's good person vibes & wants them for his clan like any other rare (and thus valuable) item. Princess is more interested in consolidating power. So much toxic divorced parents energy.

"kill them all, throw them in the lake" feudal times SUCKED. I appreciate historical dramas that don't downplay that

This Wan'er and Fan Xian meeting is gonna be sooooooooooo intensely awkward

"I feared his death was related to you" OK BUT IT WAS LMAO

It's actually a weak point for me that the screenwriter is dancing around this by writing Fan Xian going to murder the dude and having to be fought back, then again plan to go murder the dude but loses the track, then his mentor does it for him. So that the protagonist can have "clean hands" and get the girl as well as the justice. WEAK.

If I was invested in this ship it would really bother me and continue to grate that if she knew the truth she wouldn't want to be with him. But my suffering in the first arc of episodes tainted them for me so, whatever. Enjoy the fruits of your duplicity, ML. 👌

I like when cdramas address often how the justifications for war are manufactured by governments and how war leads to suffering for innocent people just trying to live their lives. Wan'er can want to stab ML dead for her brother but balks at raising banners for battle over it.

🍗 is like, I blamed you today. Don't be mad. Ok yeah and he's misleading you. That's bad. BUT. BUT. GIRL. You acknowledged your brother tried to kill him and had his best friend murdered? Where is the big displays of regret and grief for that? You held this man in your arms as his heart broke. YOUR BROTHER DID THAT. No... I don't even know what I expected here but just something. I expected her to be super torn about feeling bound to kill him but also knowing her brother reaped what he sowed, knowing her brother was committing treason + tried to murder the man she loves and promised to marry.

It feels like.... She told her bestie if there was conflict between family and loved one, that she'd hope justice would be done. And bestie took that to mean that she shouldn't hide the brother's guilt and justice matters. But it appears that what 🍗 meant was that she'd serve justice on behalf of her brother and take his side. (Brother could have tried to murder ML five times and she'd expect it to play out like, 😍 he loves me & has his reasons 😍and ML would just have to escape with his life and not fight back if he wants to still marry her.) Interesting how bestie and me the viewer misinterpreted her. Bestie is from a military family who would have strong feelings about treason, so that tracks.

None of this has me worked up, thank goodness, because it's not my ship 😇

Chen Pingping and Minister of Revenue having it out on the street about the best career path for their kid! BIG "we both loved the same woman" energy. I am wondering who ML's biological father is and do we really know. Officially unofficially Minster of Revenue is claiming him. But she wasn't his legal wife. Was she even his concubine? How many of these guys were in love with her or sworn brothers to her, and now they all wanna parent her kid lolololololol

ML is grappling with how his actions have impacted so many people. It's good that he cares, that none of this is easy. It makes him likeable.

The drama is using Sister Ruoruo to directly address ML's lie about his involvement in Lin Gong's death.

Oh!!! This was cool: ML didn't miss how erratic Crown Prince was behaving and wonders what is the real truth behind the competency of that faction. I HAVE BEEN WONDERING TOO. (pats seat beside me) come here, let's chat

Now we're back in CP HQ where he again seems perfectly calm and creepy and in control. YES the person we saw with Sister Ruoruo is his real self. He's pretending to be an occasional fuck up. (But as smart as the emperor is...if you and I and the ML can pick up the inconsistency, he can't be fooled..right?)

Chen Pingping shows up to intimidate Si Lili and start stepping on everyone's necks for Fan Xian ("An old friend". I have a CRAZY theory - do the main players from that generation know Mom was a time traveler and now they suspect Fan Xian might be her reincarnation or another time traveler?)

Uncle Wu is back to be mysterious!

No one REMEMBERS exactly what happened back then when mom was alive. We've been teased with this more than once. Because she was a time traveler and changed history? Or... Uncle Wu's comments made me consider an alternative, was she The Author who entered her own story???????

[cognitiveinequality]

I’ve curated my Tumblr experience so carefully over the [*coughcough*] years I’ve been on this website, that it’s easy to forget this side of tumblr too. But every once in a while I find a comment that makes me go down a rabbit hole of reblogs, and it’s just MAGA patriots all the way down and a bunch of new accounts get added to my blocklist. sheesh.

[mythiccheroacademia]

The whole time traveling children has me feelin some type of way tbh. Imagine Mirio, Kaminari, and Tamaki walking into their respective rooms and there are just small children vibing. Mirio with his daughter, Kaminari with a daughter and Tamaki with a son. 😭

as i said, parent!bnha is SUPERIOR

A/N: So, instead of making these separate asks, I’m just going to make it one giant post. I thought it would be easier that way. Probably the only post that’ll have more than three characters lol

Warnings: none

Kaminari Denki:

when kaminari walked into his room, he didn't expect to see two children on his bed fighting like wild animals

the younger girl was totally beating the boy’s ass tho

kinda embarrassing bc she’s gotta be like, seven, at most

as if it’s not the weirdest thing he’s seen (bc it’s not) he rushes in to break them apart

he manages to separate them with his arms 

the boy with yellow hair snaps his jaws at his sister’s fingers

“hey! bad! no biting!” he scolds

the little girl blows a raspberry and taunts “yeah! papa says no biting!”

the older sibling just rolls his eyes “rat”

meanwhile, denki is literally malfunctioning

papa?

PAPA? HUH???

the only person’s pants (and heart) he’s been trying to get in to for the past three months was y/n’s and he sure as hell would remember if he did

he didn't have kids

especially one that was his age

“sorry! you two are cute, but i’m not your pops”

thus, they begin to tell denki about how they mayhaps followed him and their mother into a dangerous mission and got hit with a time travel quirk

denki just nods his head

tbh, he’s not that weirded out

weirder things have happened

but, he does have one question

“who’s the lucky woman?”

coincidentally, you bust into his dorm room, wet from a recent prank and head steaming with anger

“Kaminari Denki!”

his son juts a thumb over to you

“the woman that’s about to murder you”

“oh say less”

his life literally couldn't get any better

before you get the chance to throttle him, the little girl jumps in your arms and your anger is immediately quelled 

“hey mommy! i just wanna let you know that it was [son’s name]’s fault that we followed you when you told us not to”

“WHAT!?”

you’re to busy trying to get them from killing each other to comprehend anything that’s going on

kaminari is in a love-struck gaze bc hot damn, he won the jackpot, huh?

if he wasn't in love with you before, he’s in love with you now

you and your feral children

it was nice being God’s favorite

Kirishima Eijirou: 

funny thing was

kirishima woke up from his afternoon nap with his mini-me in his arms!

at first, he was really confused as to why there was an 8 yr old boy with spiky teeth and (your hair texture) black hair on his bed

he thought he was dreaming

then the little boy bit his nose and grinned like he had done the funniest thing in the world 

“WAKE UP DADDY! WE GOTTA GET SWOL TODAY”

did he get hit with some duplication quirk?

and what was that he said...daddy?

as in, father?

kirishima is wide awake now, but before he can ask the kid what’s going on, the boy is up and making use of his punching bag

he decides it wouldn't hurt to get a morning work out in, so he decides to humor the kid

after a mini workout, kirishima is in near tears as the boy tries to flex the little muscles he has 

eventually, he gets the kid to tell him what happened and finds out he was hit with a time travel quirk of some sort

instead of being weirded out, kirishima is ESCTATIC 

he has a family in the future 

he’s so excited and proud that he just has to show his son off to his friends!

the first thing he does is go and bother bakusquad in the common room

he’s bragging like shit to them and his ego swells as they all swoon over how cute and handsome the kid is 

you and bakugo come out of the kitchen to see what all the commotion is about and the little boy excitedly runs to you and jumps into your arms 

“momma! you’re here! you’re so pretty! why’d you marry daddy when he looks so unswol?”

it’s silent before bakugo fucking dies of laughter 

“y-you finally let shitty hair hit it? and got knocked up?? LMAO”

everyone’s dying and kirishima wants to die

he can’t believe this was how his long-term crush on you was getting outted

by an 8 yr old boy

so not manly

you look confused before you put the pieces together

the kid did look like you and kirishima

you want to console kirishima about the crush that you lowkey knew he had on you, but your son was one step ahead of you

with a gracious smile, he hits bakugo’s head

hard

“what the fuck kid!?”

“don’t make fun of daddy, uncle bakugo! at least daddy didn’t faint at his wedding″

Bakugo’s contemplating murder and everyone’s rolling on the floor

“WE BEEN KNEW YOU WERE THE BIGGEST SIMP”

even ten years later, bakugo still holds a grudge against your son

Togata Mirio:

i’m about to kill y’all w this one

since year one, mirio has been feigning over you 

but 1) you were too dumb to notice 2) you both were really busy with, y’know, school and 3) he lowkey gave up bc he thought you deserved better

so imagine his surprise when he sees this four year old girl on his bed

and she looks like you with his features

mirio might not be the brightest crayon in the crayon box

but he’s got eyes

and it wasn't like he’s memorized your features to the T

the tiny girl is swinging her legs absent-mindedly before exploding with happiness when he sees him

she runs to mirio and he catches her with open arms 

“daddy! daddy! i got hit with the coolest quirk at school today!”

proceeds to tell him about her best friend discovered her quirk and it was a teleportation quirk 

mirio can’t help but giggle along with her even tho he knew it was a scary situation for the parents

speaking of which...

he innocently asks her who’s the mom

“mommy is the prettiest mommy in the world! she has e/c eyes, hair like me, and the most beautiful s/c skin! her name is togata y/n!”

if he wasn't geeking before, he’s geeking now

not only did he manage to marry you, but you let him be your baby daddy?

him?

big bet

mirio doesn't even care at this point

he’s parading around UA with the fattest smile as he introduces his daughter to damn near everyone 

everyone’s freaking out bc wtf when did mirio get someone pregnant??

maybe he should've explained himself, but he sees you at your locker and makes a b-line for you

“good morning, y/n!”

he doesn't notice that you slam your locker close and hide the confession letter you wrote to him behind your back

you’re a stuttering mess and he’s too busy basking in the fact that he’s holding y’alls child 

y’all look like a mess

but he’s ready to lay it on thick when the little girl kisses your nose and cheers,

“mommy, i missed you”

he explains the situation 

you cant help but smile, “you know this could potentially ruin the timeline?”

and you feel like melting as he gives you the softest smile 

“there’s no way I’m letting that happen. not when i end up with the woman i’m in love with. we’ll just have to twist fate together”

and twist it you did

Tamaki Amajiki:

tamaki wasn't the bravest person ever 

and he knew his crippling anxiety got in the way of a lot

but he had never been more proud of himself for managing to invite you to his room

it was supposed to be a study date

despite how bold you normally were, he took comfort in how nervous you seemed 

now, you two were leaning in, about to kiss

and then a voice from behind interrupts 

“uh, am i interrupting something?”

you two let out the ugliest squeal and jump 50 feet away from each other 

you’re all over the place, trying to explain the situation

tamaki’s heart is barely beating at this point

it takes the kid, who looks about 16, about thirty minutes to calm you down and revive tamaki

explains that he’s from the future and a descendant of tamaki’s family

decides to leave out that you two are his parents so he doesn't risk possibly erasing himself from the space continuum 

that would be bad

despite how surprised you two were, you two take it rather well 

you three spend the day together bc you and tamaki feel this weird sense of responsibility for the guy even though he’s only two years younger

the boy is trying his hardest not to expose himself, but it’s so hard

you two are asking him everything from his favorite food to if he has any siblings

he’s good at pretending that he’s cool, calm, and collected, but he wants nothing more than to jump into his parents’ arms and cry about how scared he is of messing up

but he won’t 

bc he’s a strong boy

but he slips up

“how far are you down the future?” tamaki asks

“uh, about like 100 years or so--”

“you’re lying”

the kid nearly chokes on his food as his father blinks at him

you try and scold tamaki but he continues

“i don’t mean to be mean, but your nose twitches when you lie. y/n does the same thing”

that’s when the jazz record stops and everyone is staring at one another

“....wait”

this time, you nearly pass out

y’all had a kid together???

THE HELL??

the boy, coincidentally, starts fading and he thinks he fucked up

now he’s full out sobbing into the both of your chests, scared that he’s disappearing

despite the news, you and tamaki calm down, look at each other, and hold your son

“don’t you worry, baby” you coo, kissing his fading hair

“i have a feeling we’ll see you quite soon” tamaki comforts, closing his eyes

Bakugo Katsuki:

bakugo finally understood when his mom said

“the meaner you are to your parents, the nastier your kids will be to you”

he regretted being such a demon bc his kid was literally the spawn of satan

katsuki didn’t need an explanation to know that that...thing was his kid

he looked damn near identical to him with features that he couldn't quite place

but anyways, that wasn't the focus rn

rn, he was trying to figure out a way to keep that animal caged

as soon as katsuki took his eyes off him, the six yr old ran out the door as fast as his little legs could carry him

“catch me if you can, you old bastard!”

yup, it was his kid

“GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE FUCKER”

his son is blasting his way through the halls, skillfully evading Katsuki’s grabbing hands 

he’s wildly laughing as he flips and turns through the doors, watching with glee as his father falls on his face

multiple times

the small boy latches on to a cupboard and smirks

“no wonder mom always beats your ass! you weak!”

katsuki nearly looks like the devil, eyes white, and face red with fury

his pride suffering by the second

he’s about to cuss the kids to hell when you come out of the kitchen, confused

you were about to ask why katsuki looked like a rat with rabies before you caught sight of a basket of fruit teetering on the edge of the cabinet, above the little boy’s head

“look out--”

the basket falls on the kid’s head and he’s on the floor, reeling from the hit

katsuki would've normally laughed his ass off, but he felt kind of...concerned?

he watches you run towards the child who’s trying his hardest not to cry

the boy holds his head, fat tears in his eyes as you pick him up and coddle over him 

“i’m sorry, baby. I'm sorry i didnt get there in time” 

cue the waterworks 

the boy is full-on sobbing into your chest about how his head hurts

you bounce him and kiss his forehead as katsuki checks over the red bump 

“you’ll be okay, brat” he comforts, voice softer than usual

in that moment, katsuki can’t help but notice how much a family y’all look like rn

then the dots start connecting and he goes 

oh shit 

so, maybe, he’s had a tiny crush on you

and it didn’t help that you two were friends with benefits bc yall were horny teenagers

but who knew he’d get the balls to ask you out on a proper date one day

he was such a simp for you gosh it was ugly

“you have to be more careful from now on,”  you say to the boy 

the brat suddenly looks innocent and katsuki wants to throw him

“sorry, mommy. i’ll be gooder”

the look on your face is priceless 

bakugo uses it as a chance to kiss you 

“huh?”

“i guess now’s a good time to tell you that i want to be your dick on demand but with feelings and shit, dumbass”

[primalsouls]

white rabbit pt 5

langa hasegawa x gn! reader ( pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 3 - pt 4)

anon: ⬇️

⚠️ : none.... I think? please let me know if there's anything to trigger!

theme: general

note: and scene. *bows* lol anyway, the fin to the white rabbit 🤧 thank you all for all the love you gave towards to white rabbit! i really appreciate it very much and it means a lot to me, really! 💖🥰 but like many great series, this one came to an end. it leaves an empty hole in my heart. 💔 but fr, really thank you. :) for all the love and support. i cant get it out enough. it just makes me happy how many people loved this work. ❤

like always, thank you for reading, i hope you enjoy it and like it, let me know what you think. and sorry for any mistakes, no proofread lmao. love you! 💚🫂

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

A family would always be part of one's life. But does it had to be consistent of related blood? Or could it be just a person and their pet? Perhaps it could be a group of friends? Perhaps.

When family comes to mind, [Y/N] would be reminded of their father's neglect on them. Of a mother who abandoned them. Of their older brother wishing to do nothing with them but just get them out of the family. Of aunts who showed their "love" for them in a horrid way.

But now, when family comes to mind, they were reminded of a man and his adorable pet with pointy ears. Of a redhead who talks non-stop of skateboarding and his way of woodworking. Of a young boy who had a talent for talking to cats. Of a florist man who was a clown at night. Of an amazing chef and his good looks. Of a elegant man who had a love for his AI. And finally, of a young blue-haired boy who was silent yet talktive at the same time.

Who would had thought they would find another family that quick. It took time to open up, yes, but at a steady pace like they were learning skating once again was all they needed to build up trust and care for these people.

And even though they were banned from S, [Y/N] was not ban from skating and Langa made sure to bring that point to them. He thought they hated skating because of him but all they needed was a little time off before getting back on the board. Reki built them a customized skateboard that fitted their aesthetics. A street board decorated in black on top and white on bottom with red wheels. A cute white rabbit's head and its red eyes painted on the bottom largely like Langa's abominable snowman. Langa had asked Reki to make it and Reki didn't refuse. It was a surprise gift for [Y/N], Langa told him.

Ever since their friendship with Langa started on that day after weeks of leaving S, Langa stood by their side. He kept his promise. He never hurt them. If anything, his love for them grew. They went to the same school now. They ate lunch with the boys in the roof top. They skated together at the boys' usual hangout. And being kicked out of their old home, Reki's mother was happy to let them stayed until they earn enough money from working for Dope Sketch to live on their own place. It felt nice. The new changes. The environment was different from their old life with the Shindo Family. It was welcoming and lovely. No sense if hatred send towards their way. They liked it.

"Good morning, Reki and [N/N]!" Langa said, smiling a little when he saw Reki and [Y/N] skated down the sidewalk to the pole where Langa stood. Reki grinned and greeted his best friend, high-fiving each other.

"Morning, Langa!" Reki said brightly, getting off his skateboard. When [Y/N] catched up, Langa walked up to them.

"Mornin'..." [Y/N] greeted softly. They still weren't used to the presence of Langa and Reki and their personalities despite being friends with them for a few months now. They never had friends before. Kids they met during their childhood bullied them. Their brother never wanted to do anything with them, so a brotherly bond was never formed. Well, maybe they did had one friend and it was Tadashi. Like Ainosuke, he taught [Y/N] how to skate. But unlike their brother, they never made the effort to go up to Tadashi to spend time with him. They were younger, too. Too little to play with the older boys.

"Hey, earth to [N/N]~? Anyone home?" Reki waved a hand in front of their face, wincing when it was smacked away. "Ow! Langa's right, you do slap hard." The redhead complained, rubbing his hand as back away from the other. [Y/N] pouted as they glared playfully at Reki.

"Sorry... I was just... thinking, that's all." The [h/c]nette muttered as they looked down at the board steadied by their foot on top of it. Langa tilted his head.

"What were you thinking about?" His silk voice calmed them down whenever they heard it. It was soothing to their ears. It was one of the things they liked about Langa, along with many other quirks of his. Such as his baby blue eyes. They loved staring into them. They liked to run their hands through his soft, blue hair whenever they hangout on the couch, leaning against each other.

It was funny. How they instantly click. Already finding comfort in each other. A few months ago, [Y/N] hated Langa. Refusing to hangout with him. Skate with him. Talk to him. But little by little, Langa took his time with them and broke down their walls, leaving each space for them to feel comfortable with his presence. It was the one thing that made them fall for him. Whenever he smile, their heart beat against their chest like butterflies were inside. They had this tingling feeling in their stomach whenever Langa look at them. They liked this feeling. It was an unfamiliar one but they could get use to it.

"[Y/N]..." There it was again. Their name rolled out of his tongue. It meant for him to say their name.

"Ah, yeah... Um.... I was just thinking," [Y/N] cleared their throat, eyes looking down at the ground as they tried to hide their flushed face. "if we're gonna skate? Try for any new tricks?" They shrugged, glancing back up at the two friends quickly. Reki nodded with a grin.

"Of course, we're gonna! Langa still gotta nail that one trick of yours." Reki teased, nudging the other boy on the torso as he looked up at him. Langa pouted, earning a laugh from Reki.

"It's a hard trick," Langa started but closed his hands into a fists with a determined expression on his face and locked his eyes with [Y/N]. "But I'll try my best to achieve it, [N/N]."

A soft laugh caught the two boys off guard. They stared at [Y/N] with slightly wide eyes. They hardly hear them laugh, so it was a first time since they became friends that the duo heard [Y/N] laugh. And Langa loved it. Such as much as he loved every little thing about them. It brought a gentle smile to his face.

Their eyes locked once more. Both staring at each other with admiration.

"I can't wait then. Let's see you try to nail the White Rabbit's ticking curve trick." [Y/N] said. Reki chuckled, already getting a head start to the direction to the usual skating hangout. Langa turned to them, a hand held out. And without another word, [Y/N] took his hand in theirs.

No words were needed to exchange for the looks they gave each other were enough. Actions says more than words. And skating down the road, hand in hand, was enough for Langa to know they wanted to stay with him such as much as he wanted to stay with them.

The phrase to skate together with you didn't just apply to his friendship with Reki, but also applied to his new found relationship with [Y/N].

In the end, he caught the white rabbit and left the thorns filled hole of theirs, not bother one bit about the minor cuts he occurred. All he cared about was the white rabbit, who rested safely in his arms and shower by the love they had wished for.

A love they both could see growing as days went by.

[wh6res]

sedan | jaemin

—part 2

synopsis. it was only a matter of time until he snapped. he was right, you should've seen it coming.

warnings. noncon, swearing, yandere themes, there’s a knife lmao

note. yalls idk :( it keeps deleting paragraphs when i add a readmore wtf is this sorcery IM SO SORRY

[read part 1]

apparently, your captor had enough respect for your dignity not to take you in the backseat of his old sedan. saying something along the lines of how you had completely ruined the mood by how much you were crying underneath him. “it’s not even pretty crying!” jaemin had exclaimed, hauling you up to your feet and carrying you bridal style towards the house. 

respect? pft. he has long passed the line of respecting your dignity—the moment he forced that drug into your system and shoved you inside his car, he was a goner. 

you don’t bother thrashing against his arms, having thought better. with your wrists and knees duct-taped together, running seemed like a joke. instead, you stare longingly at the outside world over jaemin’s shoulder—it definitely isn’t the last time you’ll see it, but if you were here because of his fucked up possessiveness over you, then escaping will be a challenge. 

three months of working alongside jaemin is enough for you to know how thorough he can be. he’s quite the perfectionist, and you remember admiring his keen attention to detail but now you only fear for the things he has in store for you to make sure you’ll never leave his side. it was due to this train of thought that you involuntarily start shaking against him. the automated lock in the front door beeps into place and now you were stuck here with him, once and for all. 

before you are able to take a look around the house, scoping enemy territory, a hand comes up to cover your eyes. the moment your fingers wrap around his wrist to pry it away, he hisses, and you let go immediately. 

“stay still or else,” you obliged, scared of what he can do now that he has you all to himself inside the house. “i know what you’re thinking. still so fucking predictable. you’d have to earn my trust until i let you roam around here.”

the loud clicks of your restraints locking together prove that he is a man of his word. 

the basement he keeps you in is disgusting. the tiles beneath you are cold, a few leaking pipes in the corner, dust everywhere, and a tiny window across the room—you doubt your chains can reach that far. but what captured your eyes the most is the numerous pillows stuck onto the walls and ceiling. the colors of its casings are faded, none of them matching one another at all. it was as if everything was messily put together at the last minute and you almost feel a tiny bit of relief that maybe, jaemin isn’t as thorough as you thought he’d be. 

“i soundproofed the walls and everything, isn’t that romantic?”

you don’t answer, too caught up thinking about how you’ll stay warm that you don’t notice the way his eyes trail over your shaking figure, knees tucked under your chin, pressing yourself firmly against the wall to appear smaller. to create as much distance from him as possible. 

jaemin frowns in distaste, a low hum resounding in the back of his throat as he thought; no, this won’t do.

“are you cold?” he asks. 

once again, he’s met with silence. 

if there is one thing jaemin absolutely hates with a passion, it was being ignored. the feeling is so foreign to him. maybe it was because of how much he naturally expects to bear the spotlight, that when you refused to even slightly acknowledge him as anything, he was confused. fascinated but frustrated at the same time. 

it is the same frustration he felt when you turned him down. the same frustration he felt when you fought against him. the same frustration he felt when you don’t stop crying underneath him. the same frustration he felt right at this very fucking moment.

“i don’t think ignoring me will do you good, sweetheart. i asked you a question, didn’t i? i’ll say it again, one last time,” the edge in his voice is unmistakable. “are you cold or not?”

at this point, jaemin feels stupid for even thinking about granting you the slightest bit of leniency by leaving you alone tonight. jaemin had been willing to put aside his desires and wants for you. but his patience can only stretch so far until it comes snapping back. 

and boy, were you in for it. 

he utters your name, low and threatening and you just knew what it meant. as the victim, it should’ve been in your best interest to keep your captor from losing his shit and hurting you… and yet, you remain silent. you don’t know what’s gotten into you. the words are right at the tip of your tongue but you don’t say anything. it was as if time had stopped and your brain had short-circuited, making you forget how to speak. 

when he stood up from the stool and started stalking towards you, you knew it was too late. 

“jaemin…” your voice shakes. “jaem—yes, yes—i feel—i feel cold—”

the sting on your right cheek is the only thing to register in your mind for a few good seconds until it all clicks into place. he just backhanded you. 

“i never thought you’d be such a fucking bitch,” he hisses, pulling at your restraints. “you were so silent, i thought you went mute, baby. how can you treat me like that? it’s no way to treat your lover.”

his soft tone catches you off guard for a fraction of a second. it was the same way he spoke to you before… all of this. it was the same tone that had once lulled you into a sense of security when you were stuck in a new environment, scared, making mistakes left and right, but jaemin had proved he can be someone you can depend on.

and look at what that cost you.

jaemin’s eye twitched when he noticed the slightly dazed look on your face, eagerly slotting himself between your thighs before holding your legs down with his shins. his hands dart out, grabbing your jaw in one hand before placing the other snug around your neck. the man can feel the rush of his blood flowing through his veins, ears ringing as he admires how pretty you were underneath him—pretty and helpless.

with a sudden urge, he darts his head forward to take a long whiff of your hair, eyes rolling back in ecstasy. he barely even registers the tears wetting the hand holding your face. jaemin is too far gone in his head because finally, fucking finally, he has you right where he wants you and absolutely no one can steal you away from him anymore.

meanwhile, you try hard to push him off of you but the pressure he’s applying to your legs proves too much. the hand encased around your throat pulls away and your happiness was short-lived as jaemin reaches for something above your head. it glints against the sole fluorescent light in the basement—

you freeze at the sight of his pocket knife.

he laughs, sounding too sweet and lighthearted. “now, now. i won’t hurt you…” 

you hold your breath when he drags the knife across your body. from your collarbones, down the valley of your breasts, and finally settling at the bottom of your shirt. “i won't hurt you if you don’t move around too much.”

the sound of fabric ripping against the sharp blade made you want to thrash as hard as you can but jaemin had purposely angled the knife so the tip dragged against the surface of your skin. bile rises up your throat when you notice the way he eyes every inch of your torso as its slowly revealed to him. 

“see, i know you’re a good girl. i just have to force it out of you sometimes, huh?” he mocks, quickly hooking the knife under your bra so he needn’t struggle reaching for the hook in the back. 

his reaction is immediate the moment he sees you bare before him. he doesn’t even grant you the chance of hiding when he’s managed to hold your wrists in one hand, the knife clattering loudly on the floor as he surged forward, lips latching onto one of your breasts as his free hand feels the other one up. you turn your head to the side, not wanting to see his ministrations. until one particularly hard nip makes you yelp, his teeth latching painfully against a nipple before glaring at you through his eyelashes. 

“eyes on me.”

jaemin can’t have you turning away from him. it simply looks like another act of defiance, as if you were depriving him of the expressions of pleasure found in your face as he continues to lick and suckle at the skin of your breasts, purple and red blooming on your skin. 

when jaemin retracts from you to pull his shirt over his head, you made the last feeble attempt of trying to escape him. you’re able to free one of your legs from underneath him and have successfully delivered a kick to the groin. jaemin folds in pain. you managed to flip onto your stomach, dragging your body away with just your arms. you’ve only managed a few inches, chains rattling aggressively, when you felt his nails dig into the back of your thighs. 

“fuck,” he grunts. “you’re going to fucking pay for that, pretty thing.”

he turns you around with one hand, unfazed by the pitiful look of your tears and snot cascading down your face as he looms over you, his knife in one hand as he fists your hair. 

you shook violently as you brace your hands against his bare chest. jaemin would’ve revelled at the feeling of you touching him if you hadn’t kicked him in the balls only seconds ago. 

“jaemin, please… i don’t want any of this—”

“you’re so cute, begging like anything could get you out of this.”

you flinch, eyes shutting closing on instinct. you feel something sharp poking on your neck, and it only takes you a fraction of a minute to register that jaemin is now holding his knife against your throat. digging the blade enough for you to know it’s there but not hard enough to draw blood. 

“look how much you’re shaking, baby,” he coos, the tightness in his pants becoming unbearable as he gives you a one over. “such a sheltered kid, aren’t you? no wonder you’re so fucking naive, always making mistakes. always making the wrong judgement. you’re used to depending on someone, right? well…” 

jaemin slices the skin above your collarbone. you don’t scream, the fear of him slicing your throat all together lies heavy in the air. 

“…it’s a good thing you met me, huh?”

fuck you.

“i’m here, baby. you can depend on me all you want,” the giddiness and the sudden spark in his eyes make you dread what he’ll do next—you hear the sounds of a belt unbuckling. “i’ll bathe you, i’ll feed you, dress you up, but…”

there are no tears left when you feel his fingers pulling your shorts down together with your underwear. no tears left when you feel the tip of his cock prodding at your entrance. 

“…you’ll have to give me something in return. that’s what good girls do, right?”

you screamed.

[astronomical-bagel]

{{ Hello, this is beyondthetemples-ooc from my main blog! I know we haven't talked before but I see you in my notes fairly often. And your tags about the hanahaki intrigued me! Especially the one who's allergic to pollen, can you tell me more about that? How do you play it, purely for comedy or is there some angst or hurt/comfort in there too? (I'd ask to read it, but unfortunately I have a Bad Phobia that makes coughing things out of one's mouth Very Uncomfortable for me.) Thanks for your time!

Ooooh!! oh im so glad you asked!! Basically, in this fic i wanted to explore the more mundane parts of hanahaki, and the afflicted person is very much the 'pathetic little man' archetype, so i made him have allergies sjsjs.

Anyways! It's mostly used for comedy (he sneezed out pollen at one point and someone nearby thinks its glitter lmao) but it also very helpful for when he inevitably tries to hide the hanakai (watery eyes and sneezing + horrible cough sounds more like a cold instead of the very unexpected flowers in your lungs disease). BUT! It does kind of backfire for one character who is very suspicious bc he knows the difference between allergies and a cold lol.

I think the only time i really use the allergies for angst is when he's like... almost dead and he has horrible hay fever on top of everything else and its really just the straw that breaks the camel's back lol

And for the hereditary hanahaki (same guy with allergies, he got the hanakahi from his mom and the allergies from his dad. poor dude.) its more of a... genetic curse? It's not actually about anything in the DNA its just them having a long line of pining and the universe going "okay none of you are EVER going to have kids if you don't suck it up confess so uhh bam you have a garden in your chest now" and well the bloodline hasn't ended yet so i guess it works??

And i have a couple chronic hanahaki fics, and i kinda take a different angle for each one. One, the flowers are just there, no love needed. Its hard to deal with but not life threatening, and really only is a bother in the warmer months. In the other two, the afflicted get it for any kind of love they feel, which leads to one becoming a recluse to avoid getting attached to others and the other having to have very awkward conversations whenever they make a new friend lol.

Anyways, thank you for asking, and thanks for letting me ramble lol. I really like the worldbuilding opportunities with hanahaki lol

[ziusura]

I have Thoughts about gene in that flashback scene. Which are probably more projections but I have accepted that I relate to gene 😂😂

First up: why would he play with a kid that young?

I watched that whole flashback going “this child looks like he’s 15 and sib looks 7 uh???” But then I...remembered...me growing up and playing with cousins. Once I hit about 13 I started playing with the younger kids.

Gene is shown to be kind of unhappy playing video games with the others his age. He’s not playing them. He’s not talking about or with them. He’s sitting there and bored enough (and guilty enough) to be listening for little footsteps. He’s hitting that age where he’s finding out he doesn’t relate to his peers (puberty fairy strikes and they don’t wanna play anymore! They want to talk about folks they’re attracted to, and be social, instead of playing with their imaginations). This is an extra big hit if you aren’t attracted to the same gender ur peers of the same gender are. No one likes to feel weird or different! Gene is probably starting to realize he is, and it scares him so he goes back towards childhood where none of those things matter (well. He already likes playing in his imagination aka a “childish” thing so that’s not hard to go to)

Cue nubsib: a child. It gives gene an excuse to play something else. It gives gene an excuse to play *with* someone else (when it’s clear his peers would rather not play the way he wants and would rather disappoint a child than bother to play hide and seek. And gene would rather play hide and seek).

Gene has lots of toys in his room. He’s not ready to move on from them yet (he doesn’t even put them away when he leaves—just shifts them). He plays with the toys with or without nubsib (shown by nubsib getting angry about watching gene play, bc gene is perfectly happy playing in his own imagination by himself). He has *fun* playing them. He still, as an adult, plays with the dragons the same way. His favorite thing to write is the fantasy genre (his pen name is wizard ha).

Now this is all speculation and projection on my part, but I see gene going to that boarding school and being confronted with being *different* again. So he retreats into writing his stories by himself and developing those writing skills. He stays in “childish” things bc that’s his happy place. He stays just as introverted bc he doesn’t want to recognize his differences. Then he goes to college. And a friend like Tum pulls him out and makes him form friendships and socialize, and Tum is Different too (he’s got very traditionally feminine interests and skills) and Tum’s into ladies at the very least from what we’ve seen in show, but gene finds comfort in his differences on at least a subliminal level even if gene isn’t ready to think about himself and his own Differences. Plus if you find a friend like Tum, well, their friends are not going to highlight the Differences or they’ll be okay with it (kind of like how once one in a friend group comes out as queer so do the rest bc we flock together lmao. Something something avoiding what we don’t like in interactions with peers.)

But then college ends. All the friends go their own way and gene goes back into himself. Writing. He’s looking to make it big, or his publisher wants him to capitalize on the bl trend so he writes a book that is full of gross (but popular) tropes and maybe a lil self projection. He gets famous and is uncomfortable with everyone making Assumptions about him that he hasn’t even faced in depth for himself. Then has to make ANOTHER bl novel. And now he starts to work through his own thoughts and his Differences and his wants through him falling for nubsib. And starts writing a “letter” to himself for himself (without thinking about the fact that he’s about to have to sell a book about his own personal history and what that mean for him—I smell conflict hehe).

Edit: also gene’s father! What adult sees 2 kids hugging in their sleep and thinks “something is Going On” unless they’re already thinking these thoughts. His father thinks he’s weird. Still playing with toys as a pubescent kid and ignoring peers.

[highqueenofelfhame]

far away from sane - one

i’m going to preface this by saying that nobody has read this over so i don’t know if it’s good or if i just think it’s alright, who knows. only time will tell. I looked over this twice for grammar and editing and stuff but i’m sorry if i missed anything.  Thank you @starborn-faerie-queen  for your genius prayer to anneith. I owe you one. Not sure what the ‘one’ is but like certainly something let me know when you’d like to collect lmao.

TW: blood mostly. // 2435 words

Celaena had said it before, and she would likely say it again: the lying in wait before a job was the worst. Some people relished in it, seeing it as something religious almost. In fact, she knew a handful of assassins that worshipped their chosen deity in the moments before pouncing on their prey. Celaena wasn’t particularly religious herself. Too much had happened to her in her twenty four years to really believe that anyone up in the sky was looking out for anyone but themselves. Sometimes she felt like the sun was shining on her a little brighter than it did on other people. When she was a child, her mother had told her she was Mala blessed. She was not inclined to agree.

Still, when she slipped up the alley by the temple, she paused. A quick glance to her watch told her she still had an hour before she needed to be at the warehouse. An entire hour to kill, and what better way to spend her time than giving some old religious bastard a heart attack? She couldn’t think of anything, so she silently slipped through the front door of the small temple, splashed some holy water at the tapestry of the gods, and made her way toward the small confessional booth. 

Celaena settled inside on the uncomfortable, hideously upholstered bench and waited quietly. After seventy-two seconds, and just as she was about to leave and give up on spooking a foolish old man, the divider on the priest’s side of the partition slid open with a heinous screech that sent a shiver sprinting down her spine. Dim, warm light peppered over her lap through the grated holes of the window. Never too careful, Celaena adjusted her hood to be sure that ever defining feature about her was swallowed up in darkness. 

“Anneith, goddess of wisdom, we beseech you. Hear our prayer,” she recited, eyes looking to the little holes that separated her from the priest on the other side of the booth. A low, humming voice accompanied hers as she spoke and Celaena found herself slightly annoyed that he didn’t sound as ancient as she had hoped. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It has been… gods. If I’m being honest, like sixteen years since my last confession. I… I don’t know where to start, actually.” 

Celaena tapped her finger against her watch and made a mental note of the time while she contemplated what she should confess, exactly. It wasn’t like she had a shortage of sins, but if she came on too strong straight out the gate, it would be hard to slip out of the church and into the night unnoticed. She sighed heavily and looked back up at the partition as she twisted her mouth in thought. The holes in this particular confessional were too small to see even a hint of the man that sat on the other side of the booth. Good. That meant he couldn’t see her, either. 

“I haven’t been in one of these things since I was a kid. My mother and father would take me to temple and I would fall asleep leaning against my father and wake up when he lifted me into his arms after it was all over. Church happens so early in the morning for young minds, you know. You should consider pushing back the time.” When the priest said nothing, she huffed an impatient sigh. “Anyway, I’m pretty sure the last time that I was in here it was for shoving my cousin down the four steps that lead up to our front door because he’d taken my ice cream. If you ask me, he should have been the one repenting. He stole -- and from a little girl no less. But I was the one in trouble.” She snorted, giving him a moment to say anything at all but the man was made of stone and said nothing. “I’m here now because I have a long, long list of sins, father. Longer than anyone else that has been in this crumbling building. Well, that isn’t true. There is one man, I think, that would top me. But I doubt he’s ever stepped a single toe into a church, much less tried to atone for the things he’s done.”

Celaena glanced down at her watch again, then settled back against the chair and dropped the bomb to end all bombs: “I’ve been killing for as long as I can remember. Well,” she shrugged to herself, “since I was eight.”

“Killing?” The priest finally asked, a trace amount of surprise laced in his tone. 

“Animals. People. Animals first, because that’s how they train you. The people come second once your technique isn’t so shoddy. And if I say so myself, and I do, my technique has been flawless for the last ten years. There’s a learning curve, but, well, that isn’t why I’m here. I’m not here to brag about my perfect skill or about the secrets that I’ve heard whispered in the dark. I bet you’ve heard your fair share of secrets, haven’t you, father?” Celaena glanced down one more time, already working the door open slow enough that it wouldn’t make any noise. The man didn’t say anything, likely at a loss. Or maybe he was already calling the police on his cell phone. “Anyway, what do you think my penance would be?”

“For killing people?” He finally answered. Celaena smiled to herself as she opened the door enough to slip through.

“Yes,” she said, and then disappeared through the small opening she’d made and disappeared into the shadows of the church, then the shadows of the street. She wasn’t a complete maniac, she didn’t begin cackling as soon as she was out the door. Though she did wish more than anything that she had been able to see the look on the man’s face when she revealed such dark truths. Wished he had been able to see the smile pulling at her lips while she spilled her secrets to him in the dark. 

Instead she weaved up and down the streets and alleys, climbed onto roofs and hopped from building to building when they were close enough. She didn’t stop moving until she reached the warehouse that she knew the stupid fucks were hiding in. She could see all three of them sitting around a shitty metal table, taking turns throwing down cards. Celaena was too far to hear anything that they said beyond a low murmur of voices, not that it mattered. They had all signed their deaths away to her when they’d had whatever part in killing Sam. It was made worse by the fact that they sat around a table now, playing games mere days afterward. She had hardly been able to eat since his blood had been splattered across her face, and they were playing stupid card games? They could beg and plead all they wanted under her knife, but it didn’t matter. Every single one of them would cease to breathe in the next eight minutes or less. 

It hadn’t been hard to figure out which of the safe houses they would be at that week. The men of the Assassins Guild had never been smart. Smart enough to get away with murder, yes, but not smart enough to beat Celaena. They could call her a bitch all they wanted, but growing up with the lot of them she was always Arobynn’s favorite, always the most skilled assassin of them all. Arobynn had crowned himself the king of assassins, but Celaena had earned her title as the assassin queen, had fought for it in violent shades of red over the years. The student had become the teacher, and tonight she would school all of these idiots for thinking they could take Sam from her and get away with it. 

After waiting another two minutes, Tern and Harding both stood from the table and began their laps around the property. Mullin stayed seated, idly shuffling his cards while Celaena snuck inside and up behind him. With a simple flick of her wrist, her favorite daggers had extended into her hands, and moments later a blade was at his throat. The assassin queen didn’t bother with pleasantries, didn’t inconvenience herself by trying to go easy on the rat beneath her fingertips. She pressed the blade into his skin and fought off a grin when a bead of blood dripped down his flesh. 

“Which one of you did it?” Her other hand twisted into his oily hair as she pressed the blade harder against his neck. “Normally I wouldn’t give you any credit, Mullin, because you could never out run me. But since I was in a little bit of shock, whichever one of you did it had a few minutes time to get away. You can tell me who it was and I’ll consider letting you live, or I can slit your throat right now and let you bleed out before your friends get back.”

“They were your friends once, too,” Mullin grit out, to which Celaena snorted.

“None of you were ever my friends. I could counter your shitty argument with the same one, he was your friend, too. He still lived with you, for gods’ sake. And you or one of your nitwit friends shot him in the head like he didn’t matter. So, I will give you one more chance, Mullin. Which one of you stupid fucks ki—”

She was violently cut off by someone yanking her head back by her ponytail. While part of her wasn’t surprised that someone had found her, she also knew they had found her a little too soon. Their fifteen minute patrol hadn’t been nearly long enough. Neither of the men should have been back yet, but here she was with one at her back and two at her front. Mullin now held her dagger in his hand, the one she’d had at his neck but dropped from the surprise attack. Harding stood beside him, which left Tern  keeping her hands in a vice-like grip behind her back, his knife pressing into the throbbing pulse in her neck. 

Stupid. She had been so rutting stupid.

Her eyes slid to Harding, who was kneeling to open and rifle through a wooden crate beside the table. When he stood he was unravelling an iron-tipped cat-o-nine tails. She refused to give any of these bastards the satisfaction of being afraid, so she kept her jaw locked and her eyes clear. Mullin approached her, pulling two pairs of handcuffs from his pocket that he used to lock her arms behind her back. Just as she poised herself to bring her knees up into his groin, her feet were knocked out from beneath her and she was helpless to catch her fall. Instead, she ate the concrete, teeth singing as her chin knocked into the ground and blood pooling in her mouth because she bit her tongue on contact. Celaena spit in the direction of Mullin and Tern, her blood splattering across the ground. It didn’t take long for her to feel the warm stickiness of blood dribbling down her chin while one of them unzipped her suit from neck down to her waist. 

And then they began whipping her. And whipping her. And whipping her.

Until black seeped into her vision and threatened to pull her under. A set up. It had been a set up. Killing Sam had likely been part of that set up. Arobynn had been mad at her for leaving the guild and had killed Sam to make her angry. He knew she would be reckless and a little stupid after losing the one person that meant absolutely everything to her and he had been right. And now she was going to die face down on the floor of a dirty warehouse in the slums of Rifthold, in a pool of her own blood. Poetic. 

“Just leave her,” she registered someone saying, but she couldn’t tell which voice it was. Everything sounded the same with the loud ringing in her ears. Someone was kneeling down beside her, looking at her face but she was seeing double and couldn’t figure out who was who. 

The man’s head snapped up as she heard a second set of ringing that sounded an awful lot like sirens. 

“What the fuck? The cops?” Vaguely, she registered blue and red lights flashing in the windows,  clearly getting closer as the vibrancy became hard to look at in her state of distress. Footsteps ran away from her followed by a lot of shouting. Gods, she wished they would shut up. Her head was hurting, her tongue hurt from biting it when she’d been kicked to the ground earlier. As footsteps ran toward her this time, she tried to focus on anything that wasn’t the mind-numbing pain. 

Tried and failed, until someone was crouching beside here and a set of bright, livid green eyes was in her line of vision. 

“I’ve got her! We need a medic!” The man yelled over his shoulder, leaning down a little closer to her. Celeana’s eyes moved down to where his pinky finger had dipped into the edge of her blood pool. A hard shiver made her body begin to tremor and she realized just how cold this room had become since she’d first entered it. The man rose up a bit, ripping his coat off and draping it over her body. She wanted to scream at the pain, at the raw sensation the jacket rubbed into her mangled skin, but she didn’t. “Can you hear me?”

She blinked once for yes, unsure if he would understand her code until he said, “Yes? One blink for yes?” She blinked again in silent confirmation. Once, she had known this man’s name. The man with the silver hair and bright green eyes that had been tracking her like a hawk. He had always been close, but too far. Celaena had always been a few steps ahead. Now, bleeding out onto the cement she couldn’t even remember what letter his name started with. “Stay with me, Celaena. Stay with me.”

She tried. She really did. 

But the darkness encroaching the edges of her vision was a lullaby and with one final blink at the man, it dragged her down and sang her to sleep.

@starseternalnighttriumphant @highladyofthesith @scarznstars @court-of-glass @tintinnabulary @musicmaam @awkward-avocado-s @aelin-queen-of-terrasen @clockworkgraystairs @shyvioletcat @westofmoon @the-regal-warrior @ame233 @empire-of-wildfire @thewayshedreamed @singme-t0sleep @royalsqueeze @stupendousslimepeanutcroissant @katelynchang @damebadwolf @wingsway @i-love-all-books @musicdreamer003 @in-love-with-caramel-macchiato @mu-si-ca-l @3am-reading @stardustsroses @booknerdproblems @prettygalsread @angelofmusic81 @sleeping-and-books @cool-ish-nerd @noodlecatposts @meltalgel-ig @fancysludgeshoelamp @greenbriaars @wifeofchrishemsworth @ccrtana @cityofsuns @rowaelin-fireheart @sunsummoner @spyofthenightcourt @joyceortiz13 @brokenbutnotquiting @emilyrose111294 @feyresarrow @tangledraysofsunshine @silvermindwarrior @superspiritfestival @maastrash @ashleyfroberg @cursebreaker29 @moondancer-204 @jesstargaryenqueen @januarystears @vasudharaghavan @city-of-fae @firedoorcinemaclub @rowaelin-cressworth @annejulianneh111 @blackjacks-donuts @crackedship @runawayrowan @that-other-pineapple @mynewdreamwasyou @highlordswhores @abookishfreak  @tottenhamboys20   @empress-ofbloodshed @morganofthewildfire @starborn-faerie-queen @b00kworm @musicdreamer003 @bamchickawowow @ireallyshouldsleeprn @booksofthemoon @ashlynn231 @mariamuses @sanakapoor @harrymoncheri @ladywitchling  @smalltddygothgf @booksbqueen​

[welcometothemxdhouse]

Lectures

Hello again wow me writing two things in one week? shocking!

Anyways this is something i promised my boo @feedthemadness-sweetie​ as a result of us considering what Chilton would be like as a professor...so i hope you like it :)

I might write a part 2 i don’t know...maybe...also this is gender-neutral.

WARNINGS: none really...oh this is insanely unprofessional and a bit fucked up so idk lmao don’t kiss your professors. 

Gif by: @prurientpuddlejumper​ ❤

You were sat in the uncomfortable, plastic chair pulling out your laptop when the door to the lecture hall opened. The tapping of a metal cane against the floor made every student in the room fall silent. Your professor, Doctor Chilton, wasn’t exactly known for his patience and hospitality when it came to teaching and his entire demeanour just signalled he believed himself to be far superior to anybody else who could possibly arrive in his classroom. It was for this reason that students tended to avoid the doctor as much as possible, keeping their heads down with only the occasional snarky comment about his thousand dollar suits or his arrogant approach to teaching. You, however, were slightly infatuated with Doctor Chilton.

You watched from over your screen as Chilton strode across the hall and settled behind his desk.

“If you stare any longer you’re gonna burn a hole into his back”

You turned to your right to see your best friend settling into their seat, only slightly startled out of your daydream. They were smirking at you as you shifted uncomfortably and muttered “I wasn’t staring.”

“Sure you weren’t, kid, sure you weren’t” they laughed, twisting in their chair to see who had actually bothered to turn up to the lecture. As you did the same you noticed a few people whispering pointedly in Doctor Chilton’s direction, which caused a small knot to form in your stomach. You knew there was no way he wasn’t aware of the things people said about him.

The lecture went by as slowly as ever-the clock seemed to enjoy playing tricks on you when you were most desperate to get home. Your final exams were looming over the horizon and you were more than stressed about their presence. When at last Doctor Chilton decided he had tortured you all enough he dismissed everyone to mutters about him running over time and being a pretentious asshole. You stood up, stretched your legs and quickly packed your things back into your bag to keep up with your best friend-who was equally in need of a very strong coffee before your next class.

“Y/N”, you paused, “i would like to speak to you please.”

You turned on your heels, letting go of the door handle after your friend had passed through with the promise to pick up your coffee order for you and bring it to the seminar you had in 10 minutes. You walked towards your professor’s desk and stood, aimless and clueless, on the other side as he began gathering his own belongings and raised a finger in a wait motion. With his focus elsewhere you allowed yourself a few seconds to take in his look. He was wearing dark three-piece suit with a white shirt. His hair was gelled back and his stubble was well-kept. In fact the only indication of any personality or life story behind the layers of expensive fabrics and grooming products was the circular scar on his cheek that was partially covered by poorly-applied concealer. Most people knew how the infamous Doctor Frederick Chilton got his scar and your mind screamed with how much you wanted to run your thumb over it and reassure him he had no reason to hide it. The grating sound of the chair being pushed backwards pulled you from your daydreams. When he stood up you didn’t miss the way his eyes dragged themselves up your form. You would never admit it to yourself, (or anyone else for that matter), but you had developed just a small habit of making yourself look a little more presentable on the days you knew you had a lecture with Doctor Chilton. You had left the classic stressed and sleep-deprived student style behind and substituted it for the clothes that clung to your form a little tighter and highlighted your assets-much to the joy of your best friend who took delight in laughing at you for the fact. 

“Can I help you, sir? you asked, still unsure as to why you were made to stay behind.

“You are aware that your exams are soon, yes?” He said, more as a statement than a question, as he began to round his desk to stand in front of you. You were slightly offended he would even ask that considering it was the only thought consuming your mind for the past month. 

“Yes sir?”

“And you believe you are ready for them?”

You thought about this for a second and wondered if anybody could ever really be ‘ready’ for exams. But you had studied hard and you knew your own abilities.

“I hope so, sir” 

Doctor Chilton stepped forward so he was now within touching distance of you. You took a nervous, deep breath and god he smelt so good. You ran your hand through your hair and pulled your bottom lip between your teeth-both nervous habits but ironically convenient for the current situation-and looked into the hazel eyes of the man stood in front of you. You opened your mouth to ask him, again, why you were there but he quickly interrupted you:

“Do you think I don’t notice the way you stare at me?”

You stumbled on your breath, dumbfounded and confused, and tried to think of something to say. Right in that moment the only thing your brain could conjure was: SHIT! Before you had the chance to comprehend what was happening he rested his cane against the front of his desk and stepped forward again. His hand reached towards your waist before stopping and hovering between the two of you. His eyes flickered down to your lips and back up again.

“Can I?” He whispered.

Your hand left its place on your bag and wrapped your fingers gently around his wrist, pulling his hand towards you until it settled on your hip. A simple, muttered “Yes” was all it took before the doctor plunged forwards and captured your lips with his. The kiss was everything you had dreamed of, (and you definitely had dreamed on more than one occasion). His lips were soft and you tasted the strong coffee he had been drinking as your tongue explored his mouth. His other hand slid up your neck and tangled itself in your hair and he smiled against your mouth as you moaned louder than you had intended at the light tug he gave on the back of your head. He began to spin you until your lower back was resting against his desk and tilted your head so he could trail kisses down your jaw and your neck. He listened to your heavy breaths and quiet whimpers with a smug smile and a growing tightness in his trousers. After a few seconds, you reached up to rest your hands on his chest and reluctantly pushed him gently away, out of breath and slightly shocked. You wanted nothing more than to let him bend you over that stupid desk and leave with the feeling of his release sliding down your thighs. You shivered at the thought.

“I have a seminar, sir” you sighed. You enjoyed the way his eyes darkened momentarily at the nickname you had adopted for him and you made a mental note to remember it. He grabbed his cane from the desk beside you and rested his weight on it so he could stand upright. His chest heaved and his eyes drifted to the floor. He almost looked sad...or embarrassed. You would find out later that he believed that the kiss had changed your mind and you had decided he wasn’t what you wanted-even the thought of it would break your heart. You grabbed your long-forgotten bag with one hand and fixed your hair with the other, completely unsure of what to do or say now. Of course you didn’t want this to be a one-time thing but you were also starkly aware that not only had he only acknowledged your interest in him, he was also your goddamn professor. 

“I...I’ll see you next week...i guess?” You stammered, backing slowly towards the door. You were already late for your seminar and he knew that too, so there was little point in faking a rush. Doctor Chilton’s stare bore heavy into you with an emotion you couldn’t quite interpret and you almost turned away and ran, until he spoke just as you reached the door:

“My office hours are 2PM to 4PM, if you’d like to drop by?”

It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that you’d take him up on the offer. 

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

sometime in this last week, or this week coming, my blog has turned/turns 10. god. a decade old. a whole ass chunk of my life i’ve spent on this hellsite. when i began on here, i was a kid. a lost, lonely, depressed and anxious 15/16 year old kid. a kid scared of her future. a kid confused about her future. what to do for uni. to change schools or not??? to do drama/acting at uni or english/philosophy or to move 8hrs away to another regional uni to “escape” her “washed up, dead end hometown” that was so typical of all the pop-punk music that she was listening to at the time.

she was a tad overdramatic, loud, “funny” (as described by her school friends) and terribly forgetful in regards to homework and school assignments. she was angry at the world, most especially the catholic school she was fucking sick and tired of attending. but she was convinced that since she was the so-called “funny girl”, that she simply couldn’t be depressed or anxious. she believed herself unloveable because she didn’t look like a weird mixture of hayley williams and emo-pop queen lights. but now, i no longer believe that i have to look like the women that i looked up to in the ~emo scene~. fuck beauty standards. i am loveable.

in the years since joining tumblr, i’ve managed to get through business college, my undergrad degree and, well, failed out of postgrad due to obvious burnout and health issues amongst other things. although i’ve lost many friends irl and many followers/mutuals online on here. for those who’ve stuck around to see me get through all of this, thank you. to all the friends/casual mutuals that have since deactivated or only followed me for a short time then unfollowed; thank you.

like obviously i was never/have never been a massive popular blog on here, like thebootydiaries or vampireapologist (who has since deactivated a couple of months ago) with tens of thousands of followers. my follower count is still close to the 8,000 range at 7,892. obviously that’s still a lot of people (and of course, porn bots lmao and many, many non-active blogs), enough like one super old post from like 2012 tumblr pointed out, enough for a small to medium sized city or town, or something like that. i don’t know how many people i’ve really reached. i really don’t know how i actually amassed this small army of people.

i am aware though, that on other platforms like snapchat (lmao does anyone even use it anymore in 2021???)/instagram/youtube/tiktok etc, i’d PROBABLY be considered as some type of ~micro influencer (🤮🤮)~. hell, i actually had a bot slide into my notes about being one on here on this hellsite back in 2019. i don’t know if i’ve ever actually ~influenced~ anyone on here with my shitposts (when i started making some) or my personal posts. i don’t know my reach. even though, now, i do occasionally get featured on buzzfeed listicles (although pay me buzzfeed along with the OPs of those original embedded posts), i still don’t know how many people i’ve reached… and even with my very occasional checks of google analytics lmao. on top of this, grappling with the loss of followers at times is much, much easier than it was when i began on here and the first few years following that. i know that my follower count doesn’t determine my worth and stuff.

but over these 10 years, i have grown. i turn 26 this year. back in 2011, 15/16yo me never thought she’d be here. she was partially down the suicidal thoughts hole, with things about ~picturing her funeral and wondering who’d bother to turn up. if only she could pretend to be dead for a day to see who’d give a fuck~ and 16-18yo me was defs down it with her HSC hellscape thoughts in 2012/2013. that 3rd floor tafe/tech women’s bathroom window drop and the thought of scarring her class for life (and that cool dude from catholic school that she crushed on who ended up at tafe with her) with jumping out of it onto the concrete below. instead, she just posted on fb about ~being a failure~ etc which ultimately did lose her a bunch of facebook friends lmao. it was practically the same thing. her mental breakdown after the end of her hsc, where she let her earrings go green and get infected in her ears because “fuck self care, bc what the fuck is it??? i’ll never get better! let me fucking wallow in my self loathing bc it’s the only thing that i’m fucking good at!!!” so i no longer have my ears pierced. oh! it was just all too fucking much!!

i am happier today. i no longer have those semi-suicidal thoughts. hell, i almost died in 2020 from a fucking bowel aneurysm, after my stomach tumour excision surgery. that forced me to put things into perspective. i appreciate the little things . i appreciate the very few friends that i actually have. yes. i’m still depressed and anxious. some days are still shitty and hard. but nowhere as hard and shitty as they were back when i began on here 10 years ago.

how the fuck last 10 years have gone past, with my ass on here; clearing out my blog and caring more about doing that than my uni work (lmao whoops); having made some lifelong friends both internationally (from the US) and long distance domestically in australia, it’s been a long ride; i honestly have no fucking idea. obviously over these past 10 years, i’ve debated with myself over and over and over again whether i should delete/deactivate this account or not. would it make me healthier??? more than likely. but then when i have meltdowns or just inner ramblings i have to get out somewhere, where else to post??? on fb?? obvs not. it’s “attention seeking” or the like on there. no one will read them. no one will resonate. but on here??? even if i got/get one “like” in the notes or one “yo i feel this” response in the tags or replies, it feels like i’ve reached someone??? okay yeah. i know this place IS NOT therapy and i’m not using my followers as amateur (or probs even actual professional) armchair psychologists…. which is a thing i think people need to stop doing internet-wide: but that’s a whole other post that i reblogged a few days ago lmao. i really need to get another therapist, actually lmao.

but it’s the community i’ve found hard to leave. i have what feel like friends, when i’ve never been employed (still as of yet); and when all of my irl friends/acquaintances are working and doing the whole ~adulting~ and ~grown up life~ thing right. it’s also the frenzied rabidness of spite with hating staff’s godawful ideas. the memes. oh the memes. and also the RaWrInG 20s XD emo scene reemergence on here that’s kept me here. the messy petty drama from time to time of big blogs fighting it out.

this place really is bizarre and fun sometimes. and also the fact that i can still hide behind the ridiculous “roaring pikachu” URL that i made all those years ago. i am anonymous. it’s freeing. but on fb it’s all like “WHY WONT YOU ADD A BANNER IMAGE AND TELL US 20 FUN FACTS ABOUT YOU!!!!!???? LET PEOPLE WHO HAVENT SPOKEN TO YOU IN 10 YEARS KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE WE’RE ALL FRIENDS HERE!!!” and the same goes for Corporate Hellscape Facebook™️ (linkedin) but in the professional sense instead. y’all know fuck all about me really. besides my posts. and i love that and live for that. okay yeah. y’all know more about my mental health than my fb feed obvs… which is probably a terribly unfortunate thing. but still.

over the last 10 years then, my superiority complex for being ~so original and intelligent~ or whatever the fuck i had in high school, has all but ebbed away. i’m not that smart just because i went to uni. hell, i literally did NONE of my in-class work and none of my philosophy readings in uni….. so i have fuck all idea of how i got through undergrad like that lmao. i’m not original when so many people can articulate the same thoughts that i have, but like, sometimes better, on a post (even though sometimes/most of the time the Tumblr User Hot Takes Tuesday™️ takes on here are fucking awful lmao). but still. originality is not something i really have anymore. or really had in the first place lmao.

so will i deactivate after these 10 years, like i’ve been saying for so, so long??? i honestly have no idea. but just know. thanks guise. have a nice gpoy selfie day XD. grab your wands. your tardises. grab your war paint. grab your whatever the fuck other fandom specific stuff that was one that hella cringe post from 2011 til 2015 random tumblr. that relic is as old as time itself. just as this mysterious roaring pikachu is for someone whose too loyal to leave this W E B B E D H E L L S I T E that’s just as much of a train wreck as she is. lmao.

[kiara-carrera]

11 + leah, jj & one of the other pogues for the prompt ask?

11: person a walks into person b’s room one morning to ask a question. meanwhile, person c is hiding under the covers

it's the way that, in terms of stuff that honestly would happen to them, this is the most accurate thing ever i'm cackling 

also i’m terrible with writing so we’re not gonna talk about how long this took me lmao, but just picture the spongebob narrator guy going one week later

The group had the rule for a reason.

It was a logical rule, simple even. No pogue on pogue macking. They were a tight knit group of friends and everyone knew how relationships could have a tendency to fizzle out. Dating amongst friends was a dangerous game, especially if it led to all out fights, bitter resentment, and the rest of the group being forced to choose sides.

And so, the group had the rule for a reason.

JJ hated rules with a burning passion. And ever since they were kids, Leah had always played his willing accomplice. So when it came down to this ... yeah, it wasn’t really surprising that they were the ones to break the rule first.

Or at least, it wouldn’t be surprising if anyone else in the group actually knew. 

They had been sneaking around for a little bit now, maybe just over a month, somehow slipping under the radar of all of their friends. Leah was shocked none of them had noticed, really. Well, maybe not John B. Pulling a fast one over on him was as easy as breathing sometimes. But Kie and Pope were fairly observant, but somehow Leah and JJ macking behind everyone’s back had slipped past them.

Some days were harder than others. Today was not one of those days. Technically, they were supposed to have gone for an early morning surf, when the beach was yet to be filled with tourists and they’d be able to go without their friends wanting to tag along. Kie and Pope both had work and John B had supposedly spent the night at Malibu Barbie’s dream house, so he was likely to be gone for a while. So Leah had shown up to the Chateau, where JJ had been staying the past week or so, bright and early, ready to go ...

... And somehow had ended up lounging the morning away in bed with JJ, who couldn’t possibly be bothered to get up, apparently.

“The waves were supposed to be good today,” she mumbled for the third time that hour, tucked into JJ’s side, legs tangled with his. 

Despite her whining, she was comfortable to say the least. She’d changed out of her shorts and shirt, slipping one of his own shirts over her bathing suit the moment he declared he was far too tired to go anywhere. At least his chest made a decent pillow.

“Like you would have caught one anyways,” he joked, eyes closed peacefully.

Her mouth opened in shock before she pursed her lips, giving his side a pinch.

One blue eye popped open, an eyebrow raised in surprise. “Did you just pinch me?”

She glared at him, pouting like a petulant child. “I would have caught a ton of waves.”

JJ snorted. “Sure, sure.”

“Ass,” she muttered, giving his side another pinch.

“Okay, that’s it.” With a speed that was a little too quick for someone who claimed to be super worn out, he rolled on top of her. Leah let out a shriek, eyes wide as he grinned down at her. He chuckled at her expression. “Is that really how you want to play this, baby?”

“I have no idea what you mean, I’ve been perfectly reasonable,” Leah said. She waited a moment before reaching up and giving him another flick, right in the center of his forehead. “Get off.”

His mouth popped open in shock, a look of over-exaggerated disbelief spreading across his features. He jokingly narrowed his eyes at her before declaring, “Oh, you asked for it.”

Before she could even ask what he meant, he was leaning back over her, fingers tickling her sides. Leah let out a shriek, squirming under him again as she tried to get away. But JJ was ruthless in his assault, a smug smirk on his face as he soaked in her laughter which only seemed to spur him on further.

The two of them were so caught up in the moment that neither of them bothered to notice the sound of a familiar Volkswagen van pulling up the dirt path to the Chateau. Instead, giggles continued to peal out of Leah’s lips, her torso twisting as JJ ignored her pleas for a truce.

They did however hear the porch door creak open loudly, a booming voice cutting through the little world they were in.

“Yo, JJ!”

Leah’s eyes widened, freezing in place, all laughter dying on her lips. JJ’s hands stilled as well, no longer assaulting her sides with tickles. “Is that ... ?”

“Shit.”

Within seconds, the two of them were scrambling as John B continued to call out for the friend he was certain would be somewhere in the house.

“I thought he was supposed to be out all day!” Leah whispered frantically, slipping out from under JJ to look for her clothes. Where the hell were her shorts?

John B was oblivious, but the two of them half dressed in bed together? Yeah, that wasn’t going to be so easy to work around. She could already picture the texts that would be shot off the group chat. Or the earful she was going to get from everyone over breaking the rule and for JJ of all people.

JJ shrugged, looking equally as panicked. “He stayed over Sarah’s house, I figured they’d be macking for hours!”

“I know this is his house and everything,” Leah grumbled, half hanging off the bed to try and find the seemingly nonexistent shorts, “But can’t he leave? Like there’s central air and edible food at Sarah’s, fucking stay there.”

“Not to mention all the — ”

Leah didn’t even have time to cut off whatever gross comment he was about to make because he did it himself. It was like he had a sixth sense for the door to the spare room being opened because suddenly she was being yanked back into the bed, the old quilt being pulled over her head without preamble.

Before she could even ask what the fuck was happening, she froze under the blanket at the sound of John B’s voice.

“JJ, what the hell, didn’t you hear me yelling for you?”

Beside her, JJ tried to play at innocence. “What?”

“I called your name like three times, I was wondering if you wanted to ... ” He trailed off. JJ was trying to look as not guilty of macking their best friend since the third fucking grade as he could as John B squinted, finally noticing the oddly shaped lump next to JJ. “Uh ... dude, is there a girl under there?”

JJ didn’t respond, but Leah didn’t have to have Pope’s brains to know he gave his best friend a shrug, more than likely coupled with a smug grin.

“Oh gross, man,” John B grumbled, taking a quick step out of the room and shutting the door. “It’s like 10 am, isn’t it a little too early for a booty call?”

JJ scoffed. “Yeah, because you staying with the princess of all Kooks last night was any different,” he called through the door.

John B must have been speed walking out of the Chateau because his responding fuck you was rather distant. Leah waited until John B’s footsteps faded down the hall, before pinching JJ’s leg.

“Ow! Jesus, woman,” JJ whined, rubbing the spot while she slipped out from under the covers.

She fixed him with an unimpressed look. “You’re an idiot.”

[kuromichad]

another thing about what’s changed pretty drastically in fandom culture (tbh culture in general) since when i was a kid is like. so, after several years of Anti Culture honestly i dont even have it in me to care anymore to have like, constant paranoia that someone out there is thoughtcriming by shipping the wrong things or even making violent porn of them, nobody should be literally dwelling on these things constantly lmao the specter of the problematic shipper is so deeply unhealthy and an unwinnable battle. what i feel is the acute issue, the thing we’ve actually made a LOT of progress on, is ‘does anybody even acknowledge that it’s rape/incest/etc and that it would rationally upset people.’ 

the danger of ‘rape culture’ is that it’s made up of things that are normal and treated like common sense, like ‘that’s just how it is.’ that’s what makes it a pervasive culture that creates unsafe situations, keeps victims from speaking up, enables perpetrators to do what they want and to get away with it. you get away with assault and harassment by convincing people that it doesn’t count. what was dangerous and hurtful to me about the content i saw was, like i said, that it was treated casually, that there was scarcely any acknowledgment that certain ships or kinks or specific portrayals of otherwise inoffensive tropes were more caustic, should be treated with more care. 

in the same way that romcoms will utilize what is objectively stalker behavior and have it be rewarded with the romance working out in the end, loads of fanfiction would involve rape/incest/csa and not acknowledge it-- either because the author genuinely doesn’t understand that’s what they’re portraying (which is the fault of generalized rape culture) or because it’s just inconvenient that anybody would be a killjoy loser about what they see as a totally made up concept that doesn’t affect anybody-- and have everything neatly tied up in the end with their ship getting together/fucking and everyone praising it in the comments as such great content. it was encouraged and common (Normalized) to see literally no difference between that kind of shit and any other fluffy happy uwu unproblematic fanworks because all of it was fictional and all of it was made by people having fun. nothing in it needed to be taken seriously and none of it should bother anybody.

clearly, this is not what things are like now!!! like of course things arent perfect but there’s exponentially more awareness among like, all people, especially in fandom as well, of the broader implications of everything, the seriousness of a given subject matter. when these things do happen by genuine accident it gets discussed, and it happens less because people are exposed to those discussions beforehand. and everyone is goddamn well aware of what makes a ship Problematic, the theory behind it, even if there’s a whole lot of debate about whether those rules are being enforced appropriately or in good faith. like, as much as it’s obnoxious and creepy for people to be like “yes i know i’m SOOOO problematic <3 i do all of this on purpose <3 i love being as EDGY as possible <3 kinkshaming is my kink <3” it’s literally a VERY GOOD THING that they actually fucking know it’s wrong. that’s a big fucking change. that’s the entire point of working against grooming because grooming is based on normalization... a person saying “i’m into this specifically because it’s taboo and i know exactly how wrong it is” is literally not normalizing it lmao.

basically im just. longwindedly repeating what i said before: the fact that people actually know now to have locked side accounts and separate aliases and shit for specific kinds of content is a sign that this discussion is working. acknowledging that certain shit is caustic and different and triggering is actually a big fucking deal in contrast to how shit used to be and that on its own is going a long way in protecting today’s kids. this is why it aggravates me so much that we’ve escalated to infiltrating intentionally private spaces just to... show these works to a much broader audience that the creator literally did not want and took measures to avoid. the ‘righteous’ person who goes EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS!!! is literally doing more damage than the person who was like ‘i know this is a sensitive matter and people who dont sign up for it shouldnt be exposed to it’ and had their trust violated. even if the latter person is the one that’s the Evil Pervert. 

if what’s in that private account is anything less than expressed intent/desire to actually harm real people then it should stay private because that means it’s literally inherently not the kind of thing that poses an immediate threat to people. maybe you view it as like, a Spiritual threat, metaphysical, religious, because of dwelling on it so much, spending so much time being afraid of what people are hiding, being crushed under the emotional burden of Everything In The World Is Unethical In Some Way, but that’s just. not healthy. and we do not agree. the tree that falls in the forest may still make a sound but it’s not one you would have heard if you weren’t putting yourself in its path. the tree falling ON you is a worse outcome than the sound alone if you hadn’t been there. Does that make sense

[stxphxn-strange]

This is a Soap Opera | A Shrimp Gremlin Villain!Stephen fluff/angst fic

A/n: why is everything i write just fluff/angst? why not right? i tried to make this one kind of funny too lmao, ft. Steve being a little bitch (so this isn’t Steve friendly) and i have nothing against natasha i just needed someone else to be rude and i don’t love how she treats Tony

The Avengers’ Compound (Upstate NY), 4:31pm

Stephen stumbled blearily through the portal, a few disjointed thoughts rattling around in his mind like loose change. He had to find Tony and he was in need of a hug, nothing else was worth a damn in that moment.

Once he saw the genius, he sat and allowed himself to go limp, collapsing into Tony’s arms.

“I’ve taken no less than six (6) fucking Advil today, I can’t,” Stephen complained.

In his tired stupor, he chose to overlook the open hostility of the other Avengers in the room, snuggling closer to Tony. It also didn’t dawn on him, until a few moments later, that almost none of them knew that he and Tony were still together.

So yeah! That was kind of awkward.

Tony hummed, massaging Stephen’s scalp with the lightest grounding pressure. “Have you been drinking any actual water today, or just lots of tea?”

“We’re in the middle of a meeting—”

“Which can wait,” Tony replied. Stephen didn’t know who he was even talking to, he didn’t bother looking up. “Steph?”

Stephen shrugged. “Both. Probably more tea, though.”

“Not surprising. Why don’t you lay down?” Tony suggested, his voice soft. “Your lack of sleep might be catching up to you… sound familiar?”

Some discontented muttering broke out in the room, but Stephen ignored it. Despite the fact that 70% of the people in the room hated him, Stephen still felt loved and warm in Tony’s presence.

Tony ignored the muttering as well. “Don’t fall asleep on me now. Come on, bed.”

Stephen felt Tony gently maneuvering him into a standing position and leading him from the conference room.

“Stark, we’re in the middle of a meeting!” Steve snapped.

Stephen winced at his volume, pressing himself against Tony’s back and hiding his head on his shoulder

“Be quiet Steve. It’s not like this meeting is a big deal, nobody’s even taking minutes,” Tony replied. “I’ll come back, but pardon me for prioritizing my boyfriend’s health over this get together.”

The door to the room remained open as Stephen and Tony walked down the hallway, allowing them to hear Steve ranting about how nobody took his meetings seriously.

“Thor, you’re supposed to be taking minutes!” Steve yelled.

Inside the conference room, Thor shrugged. “But ‘Days of our Lives’ is on.”

“I work with a bunch of idiots. Some more likeable than others,” Tony commented, opening the door to his room.

Okay, it was more like his own wing of the building. Why shouldn’t it be? Tony built it and owned it, and the Avengers were famously bad for his work-life balance. Stephen was grateful that he could sleep in peace, especially once Tony blocked entry into the wing. He laid on Tony’s bed, the Cloak wrapping around him like a blanket as he disappeared in a pile of pillows.

Tony put a glass of water on the nightstand and sat beside Stephen.

“Sorry for bursting in. Now they know,” Stephen said. “If they didn’t before, I mean.”

“I care more about you,” Tony replied softly. “I also don’t give what most of them think. Their responses won’t matter much, the people who really care us and love us are supportive and happy for us.”

Stephen leaned back further into the pillows on the bed. “I’m lucky to have you, you know?”

Tony smirked. “Yeah, you are.”

“Tony!” Stephen gave him an affectionate push.

“I’m kidding. I love you,” Tony replied, kissing the crown of Stephen’s head. “You know you talk about shrimp in your sleep, right?”

“It’s good luck,” Stephen said with a yawn. “I love you too. I wish you could stay.”

“I’ll be back soon,” Tony promised. “Riposati, amore.”

Stephen nodded. “FRIDAY, how about some Food Network as background noise?”

FRIDAY turned on the TV, adding a pleasant, “It’s nice to see you today, Sire Shrimp.”

Tony rolled his eyes at the nickname, giving Stephen one last fond look before closing the door and heading back to the meeting. He wasn’t surprised to see the whole team talking about him, a stern look on Steve’s face. Thor, who was still watching “Days of our Lives,” was now consequently weeping with his head on Bruce’s shoulder.

So yeah, this meeting really wasn’t a big deal.

“Were you going to TELL us that you’re a no good, double crossing traitor?!” Steve snapped.

“Get out of my face,” Tony replied, pushing past him and returning to his seat between Rhodey and Thor. “What I do after hours is none of your business, and it’s not up to you to tell me who I am and am not allowed to date. Stephen and I never broke up after he left the team, I never promised we would! Furthermore I really love him and it’s in my best interest and great for my happiness to continue our relationship. Does anyone have questions?”

Natasha raised her hand. “Did you think we didn’t notice you were less pleasant to us? Strange makes you unpleasant.”

“Stephen treats me like I’m more than just an ATM.” Tony replied.

“How is Tony giving our secrets to some shrimp-obsessed VILLAIN permissible?!” Steve snapped, speaking to the room at large.

“What secrets? You mean that there are more things you haven’t told me? You don’t want Stephen knowing that you bully and belittle me whenever you feel like it?” Tony replied.

Steve was silent, angrily looking between Tony and the team. “Does anyone else see what’s wrong with this?”

Clint, Scott, and Natasha raised their hands.

“I don’t think we need to vote to agree that Stark’s conduct calls for immediate removal from this team,” Steve continued.

“You need me more than I need you,” Tony said. He was calm, despite the fact that his fists were shaking. “After all, who’s going to give you free stuff at your beck and call if you let me go? Where are you going to get all of your shiny suits and arrows?”

“As the leader of this team, I move to kick Tony out,” Steve declared.

“What is this, a playground clique? Who put you in charge?” Rhodey muttered, loud enough that only Tony could hear. To the group, he said: “We have to have a vote to bench anyone, as stated in the new Accords. And given that those Accords state that you are NOT the leader of this team, you absolutely cannot bench Tony. I say that as his best friend and as someone who ranks higher than you and earned it. I move to dismiss this meeting.”

“Oh thank god,” Tony quipped.

“But—”

“Enough. We’re done here.”

Tony was out of his seat and down the hall before anyone could say another word.

++++

5:49pm

Stephen was a light sleeper, always had been, and woke up the minute he felt Tony’s presence in the room. Shelving the dream he was having about eating shrimp on the beach, Stephen reached out for Tony and pulled him close.

“You’re shivering,” Stephen whispered, shifting so that he and Tony were both under the Cloak. “What’s wrong?”

“The rest of the meeting was just a shitshow, that’s all. It’s not important right now. How are you feeling?” Tony asked.

“A little better. I want to avoid taking any more Advil if I can, so I’ve just been trying to rest. I know I’ve fallen asleep a few times,” Stephen replied, hugging Tony closer and playing with his hair. “Now it’s your turn to rest. I’m okay, I promise, and I don’t need or want anything from you right now. I just want you.”

Tony sighed, melting into Stephen’s hug. He didn’t bother to hide the fact that he was upset, pressing his head against Stephen’s chest as he sought warmth and love.

“Hey,” Stephen began. “Let your shoulders drop, okay? It’s just us now, you can close your eyes.”

Stephen’s voice was effortlessly soothing, and Tony followed his instructions without hesitation.

“How was your day?” Tony asked, his voice already getting gravelly with tiredness.

Stephen smiled and kissed him softly. “It was fine. I tripped going down the stairs and dropped a plate, and Wong had to bribe me to take a break when I got to my sixth hour of studying.”

“No wonder your head hurts,” Tony remarked, snuggling closer to Stephen. “What did he bribe you with?”

“Coconut shrimp and talk show reruns,” Stephen admitted.

“Oh of course, because the way to a man’s heart is through reality television,” Tony said.

“The way to this man’s heart is being Tony Stark,” Stephen replied.

Tony blushed as red as a strawberry, tucking his head under the cloak. “Stop that.”

“I’m just saying!” Stephen bantered.

“How dare you flirt with me while we both have headaches!” Tony snickered. “Smooth bastard.”

Tags: @stark-strange-love @daisypoisonpen @ayyy-its-an-idiot @kiwidino @leoachilles @chocopiggy