#(and it triggered a whole bunch of posts)
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Tell me more about Dean’s sensitivity of perception, I beg you.
Of course 💖
First point, I love the joke turned to headcanon that is psychic!Dean.
Second, I think about Cas' "Certain people, special people, can perceive my true visage." every couple of days.
5x18 – Point of No Return
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The situations are different, I know. The employee is hearing and seeing Michael's true form, and Dean is killing Zachariah while Zachariah is wearing his vessel. But it's sure a choice to remind what seeing an angel cause to a human and have Dean's eyes reflecting
The only similar scene and lighting I can remember is in the Rapture, with Castiel leaving Claire to take back Jimmy as a vessel.
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Dean and the angels
Dean's reaction to angels shining seem more linked about who is with him at the time than about what it can do to him. He will hide his eyes if Sam is here and/or if Cas is the one killing or banishing the angel.
But if he's the one doing banishing or killing the angel? He tends to watch them.
There's also his reaction being different when it's about Cas. If he does close his eyes, it's a decision not a reaction.
It's following enough of a pattern to raise questions (and have fun with theories).
8x17 – Goodbye Stranger
I'm singling out this one because the angel tablet does something to Cas, something violent enough to make an angel cover their eyes. And Dean? Dean watches Cas for a while before closing his eyes and lowering his head. He'd look peaceful if not for the injuries all over his face.
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Fun fact: a human can't close their eyes after seeing an angel true form. Their eyes burn at the first glimpse (and it kills them more often than not).
A little aside: the Faery episode
For once, there's an explanation about Dean seeing things others don't see: people who are taken to their realms can see them even back on earth.
Dean acting as a witness of heavenly events is a constant.
It could be have been played by arcs. This arc is about Sam or Cas so we'll show Sam or Cas, but there's this decision of focusing on Dean (Dean seeing, studying something).
In 4x22, the Cage opens. This is Sam's plotline. Sam is the one who opened the Cage, he's the one "fated" to be Lucifer's vessel, and yet it's Dean is who watches the Cage open.
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In 8x23, (my fav of the list... it'll have its own post later) the Fall. The scene features Dean, Sam and Cas, all looking up at the sky. There's this sequence of Dean watching the sky and the camera zeroing in on one angel falling, before showing Dean's reation (shock). Dean watches as this angel falls, lowering his head as the angel approaches the ground and crashes.
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In 11x09, there's once again a close up on Dean's face cutting a show of angelic powers.
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Sometimes I wonder if him "not seeing" the angels is a mental block. I mean... his first interactions with angel true form are Cas shattering glass at him and burning out Pamela's eyes.
Or he's just trusting Cas and Cas got the wrong conclusion.
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that-foul-legacy-lover · 2 years ago
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oh my god what happened?? are you alright? do you need any help?
alright i will preface this by saying that physically, i am COMPLETELY FINE. please don't worry about me too much, i promise i'm physically okay and it's not that bad
the rest is under the cut not for length but in case people want to skip past it (warning for people being unpleasant)
so the short story is that someone i thought was an online friend suddenly sent me a pretty awful DM before blocking me. they said a lot of genuinely hurtful things which wasn't really good for my mental state since they preyed on a bunch of my insecurities, and i thought that i could trust this person. i'm doing better now thanks to my irl friends, but recovery is a process as usual. i'm not sure if you can really help apart from being emotional support, but your concern is appreciated nonetheless <3
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feyres-divorce-lawyer · 2 years ago
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ok now that i’ve gotten over the mild anxiety this whole stalking thing induced and i’m slightly less disturbed, what i find irritating is how she framed the whole anti vs stans thing like it’s not the stans that engage with antis first.
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ace-apple · 1 year ago
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every time someone talks about qcellbits relapse as "giving into his urges" or some shit in that vain an angel loses its wings a fairy dies etc etc
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always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 4 days ago
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Finally got my seizure medication prescription filled today but it took almost a week and I had a close call with what was almost a seizure yesterday and I am going to personally fist fight my insurance istg
#emma posts#none of the mess made sense#I didn’t change doctors but the insurance made it sound like I did#the prescription hasn’t changed in over a year#and they covered it this whole time#but now they were suddenly weird about it and literally everyone else involved was getting pissed at them#I’m serious about that#my nurse was irritated and concerned#the pharmacists i contacted were pretty nice and seemed more and more frustrated with my insurance every day#I have no idea what was going on on my doctor’s end of things#but now it will take multiple days for the meds to build up in my system again#probably three days. but who knows#at least I had ONE of my seizure meds#being out of both at the same time would have been much worse#and my period was messing with my sleep for more than half of all this#and lack of sleep makes seizures more likely#and then a few days in my fucking ceiling light decides to start burning out and I don’t have a replacement#and I have two (or is it four but in two settings?) lights in my kitchen#so while it would be frustrating it wouldn’t be as bad as my light flickering a bunch every once in awhile#just being in my kitchen could have triggered a seizure so I haven’t done the dishes in a bit over a week and it’s gross#sometimes if I leave the lights on for a long time they stop flickering at least#but they shine in my bedroom if I don’t turn them on so I have to shut them off at night or I won’t sleep properly#I need to add lightbulbs to the shopping list#I basically had a strobe light in my kitchen and it was while I hadn’t had medication in days and I learned that I was photosensitive#like a year or two ago while being observed in the hospital#and i might have had partial seizures but I’m going to ignore that because I’m not sure if they were seizures or muscle spasms#they were just a little uncomfortably close to the small seizures I had before the big one in the hospital#I didn’t really get them before that day#but I have had muscle spasms for years so it’s a bit confusing#the muscle spasms have been confirmed to not be seizures but there was the leg spasm seizure in the hospital before we went further
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dravidious · 10 months ago
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You're more amazing than a full minute
Werewolves need help but everyone else trying to help them is STUPID and WRONG so I did it better. You're welcome
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Also an artifact that I just had the idea for and kinda sorta supports werewolves if you squint so I gave it Innistrad flavor and threw it in the batch. So there, unique support cards that aid werewolves in their transforming endevors without defaulting to the laziest possible-
"Why not just give werewolves flash?"
FUCKING FINE
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You want flash so bad you can spend 3 mana on it
#custom cards#Pack Loyalty was inspired by the Thunder Junction WU no spells archetype which i realized was really similar to werewolves#but unfortunately no overlapping colors so it'd feel awkward but i figured out a solution#a bunch of these are just figuring out ways to transform while still spending your mana so lots of big flash spells and activated abilities#the whole “stupid and wrong” thing was partly a joke but i do genuinely dislike the attempts i've seen to help werewolves#i've heard a few times “they should give some werewolves flash” or even “they should give MOST werewolves flash”#no. that would make flipping your wolves basically automatic. which would defeat the whole point of the day/night condition#the tension between casting your werewolves and flipping your werewolves is the whole point of the archetype#giving a large portion of them flash would change the archetype to just “flash creatures” with transforming being pointless complexity#and then the other solution was Tovolar which. what the fuck. he's encouraging you to cast MULTIPLE werewolves on your turn?#just completely throws out the entire day/night mechanic to just say “if you're playing werewolves then it's always night”#hey notice how all the “no spells cast from hand” cards in OTJ don't have plot? and only ONE of them has flash#it's because you're supposed to combine them with other cards to make a complete synergetic deck#you don't just throw all the payoffs into a pile and watch them all trigger each other for free#thus why only one werewolf has flash (Oakshade Stalker) and it forces you to spend extra mana to flash it in#thus why i made more non-werewolf cards with flash or activated abilities#the other problem werewolves struggle with is that in high-level play it's easy for the opponent to flip your wolves back#so i also made Twilight Prowler and Heckling Heretic to punish the opponent for doing that#and then Kessig's Shade // Kessig's Bark which doesn't solve any problems i just liked the idea#wait i just realized i made a “no spells cast from hand” card and gave it plot. which is the whole thing i was against. fuck#at least you have to spend an extra mana to plot it and you still need to find something to spend your mana on on the turn you cast it#and it's a cool idea that combines two related archetypes so that's justification enough. maybe#had another idea for a plot card just now and added it to the post#giving werewolves flash is fine because you need to play a support card for it so it's not free. it costs mana#and it's just one card so you still need other support cards to consistently flip your wolves#ka asks
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novy2sirius · 11 months ago
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MOON HOUSE CORE © novy2sirius
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trigger warning: suicide, violence, eating, hypochondria, trauma, mental health issues ♡
this is just a random post abt things ppl with these placements could experience ♡
these r only abt isolated placements so take it with a grain of salt bc the whole chart matters ♡
a lot of these r experiences i’ve heard from my friends and ppl who’ve purchased readings from me directly ♡
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moon in 1h core
not being able to hide ur emotions bc they’re literally evident on ur face, youthful beauty, constantly changing ur outlook on life depending on how u feel at the time, getting told u look young for ur age, getting mad bc boys/girls call u cute instead of hot, mothering everyone, likes to be pampered and babied, throws child-like fits if lower vibrational, being a lot like ur mom even tho sometimes u don’t wanna admit it, even if ur a boy having emotional responses like a teenage girl, growing up with parents that had anger issues so now u have anger issues, being asked if ur sad all the time by ppl when ur not even sad it’s just ur resting face, having a comforting aura, ur mood instantly being ruined the moment anything makes u insecure at all, looking good in light blue and white outfits
moon in 2h core
having a cute voice, wanting to spend all ur money bc u had a bad day and r emotional, eating bc u’re emotional af, ur comfort place being a restaurant/fast food spot, having a wife who brings lots of stability to ur life, having a good singing voice, feeling emotionally connected to inanimate objects such as ur stuffed animal, not feeling happy around ppl who bring instability to ur life, spending all ur money on things related to music/food, love language is gift giving and physical touch, not feeling loved by ur partner when they don’t hug u every second, feeling more comfortable around ppl who share the same values as u, only having a good work ethic when ur happy, caring abt ppl more when they spoil u with gifts
moon in 3h core
being extremely charming and able to persuade others easily, having a rly soft voice and being told u sound like a child, being scared to do anything when ur sibling/a companion doesn’t come with u, feeling more emotionally connected to ppl u share similar opinions/interests with, being more talkative around ppl when ur comfortable and quiet around random ppl, posting emo stuff on social media when u were in middle school, having a lot of the same interests as ur mom, being close with ur neighbors growing up and riding bikes with them around the neighborhood and selling lemonade on the side of the road, being obsessed with romance books
moon in 4h core
playing house a lot as a kid, either being rly close with ur mom or having extreme mommy issues, being obsessed with self care related things and not being able to go to sleep without doing ur skin care routine, being emotional just by existing, coming off as emotional even when ur not emotional, feeling deep emotion for ppl and feeling attached to them and then realizing that they don’t feel the same way bc u’ve literally only talked for a week and u just have a problem with getting attached to ppl easily, feeling most comfortable with people that make u feel feminine, being a talented nurse or realtor, having a very nurturing aura
moon in 5h core
having a lot of hobbies that don’t involve leaving ur house, being hot, ppl always telling u that u have celebrity/star vibes, having a bunch of creative ideas but being afraid to share them bc ur shy, being insanely dramatic and then later regretting it heavily, being a good actor, contemplating killing urself every time u got grounded as a kid bc ur dramatic, feeling happiest when ur by the ocean or water, being a hopeless romantic, falling in love w cancer placements but wishing u didn’t, loving mango/citrus flavored foods/drinks, being scared of violent video games and wanting to play sims or minecraft instead, being rly good with kids/kids naturally loving u, growing up with egotistical parents, rewatching the same films/shows over and over bc they bring u comfort
moon in 6h core
being able to tell how someone rly feels even when they try and hide it bc u can analyze ppl rly well, loves animals and feels better when they have an emotional support pet, love language is acts of service and gift giving, having rly bad anxiety any time u leave the house (and in general) these ppl r huge homebodies, being a hypochondriac and thinking ur gonna die every time u have a single bad physical health symptom and googling ur symptoms then becoming even more worried bc google says ur abt to have a heart attack, chronic overthinker
moon in 7h core
being rly charming and having a lot of secret admirers, being scared to come outside ur comfort zone without a companion/partner with u, being fruity af, making ur friends/lovers order food for u bc ur too shy to, wanting harmony/peace and hating when someone argues with u or tries to start conflict with u but unfortunately still managing to attract lots of enemies even when u try to avoid drama, being able to negotiate with others easily, trying to be nice to ppl and killing them with kindness and u still end up getting hurt, being attractive to society but insecure abt ur looks, feeling sad if u don’t look pretty at all times, moving to live near ur bf/gf bc ur too attached to be in a long distance relationship, hates hookup culture
moon in 8h core
being sexualized a lot, ppl randomly confiding in u abt their traumas when u didn’t even bring anything abt it up, not being able to hookup bc you’ll get too attached, having a lot of family trauma that has now affected u emotionally and made u rly defensive any time someone talks to u in a slightly off tone, being a witch, doing love spells on ur crush so they’ll like u, having dark humor, feeling like u wanna die on ur period and going insane and acting like another person and then when u go off it realizing how dramatic u were, getting a boob job, being sent d*ck/p*ssy pics a lot without even asking for them, getting inheritance from ur family, getting surgery when u were young, spiritually transforming the most when ur alone
moon in 9h core
wanting to leave ur home country and never come back, trying to run away as a kid and packing a bag then coming back bc ur scared after only getting half way down ur street, adapting to ur surroundings quickly and easily being influenced by others, having a closer connection with ur grandparents than ur actual parents, having good ethics and not vibing with ppl around u who don’t, having ur first romantic relationship in college, feeling more comfortable around cultures outside of ur own or feeling more emotionally connected to cultures outside of ur own, cutting out ppl quickly when they’re negative and when they don’t support ur plans in life, having a thing for athletic boys/girls
moon in 10h core
having a star-like quality, finding comfort in being a workhorse and working all the time and using it as a way to distract urself from all ur problems in life, feeling like life is meaningless if ur not constantly going out and doing things, trying to keep things private but they end up getting out anyway, having a reputation of being a softie, feeling closer to ur dad than ur mom or having extreme daddy issues no in between, leaving behind a legacy that inspires others and touches them emotionally, being talented in careers that r an emotional outlet for u
moon in 11h core
having a very friendly aura and being able to socialize well but still sometimes having a low social battery at the same time, having a lot of influence on others and attracting a lot of ppl that r fans of u, being easily influenced and sometimes easily manipulated, having a lot of mood swings, being emotionally unpredictable, fearing being alone/dying alone and ppl abandoning u, being able to social network rly well, being closer to a step/half parent than a biological parent, throwing the best house parties, forming closer emotional connections online than in real life, being closer to ur online friends than in person friends, having a deep desire for someone to just care abt u and give u attention
moon in 12h core
having a lot of dreams that weirdly predict things almost perfectly, being obsessed with the feeling of nostalgia but also hating it at the same time, having an ethereal beauty, using astrology as a way to get an explanation for ur trauma so u can feel more validated, falling into a deep depression every time u run out of shows to watch, imagining fake scenarios in ur head abt rly bad things happening and crying over it when ur bored, looking like a mermaid/man, dwelling on the past a lot, being able to mask rly well and pretend ur someone ur not and doing it sm to fit in that u don’t even know who u r anymore, struggling with mental health issues ever since u were a child and feeling like u were sad even as a kid but not knowing why, hearing ppl talk randomly when ur abt to fall asleep but no one’s there, having a lot of hidden enemies that u may have had a close emotional connection with before that end up stabbing u in the back, feeling alone even when ur not alone
comment if u want more of these 🗣️
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xotaemintol · 7 months ago
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Obsessive perverted Hyuck x reader//short/oneshot
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WARNING: this contains obsessive behaviors, stealing, Somnophilia, unprotected sex, masturbation, oral sex, nipple play, and breeding. Please do not read if any of these thing trigger you, thank you so much. Minors DO NOT interact.
Sorry it’s short ☹︎ I low-key have writers block and its beating my asssss but I still wanna post, bc I missed all of October I'm using November to post anything spooky/dark so bare with me PLEASE! Also, I will be posting asks soon so if you've sent any then please look forward☺︎
wc: n/a
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Hyuck being so overly touchy with you when he isn’t glued to his phone, sniffing you and asking if he can have your underwear. Its no wonder how you came to find out that he was obsessed with you.
Of course if you said yes, you knew what he would do with them and didn’t care. Just like you expected he takes them home and cums into them—using them as a rag from that point on. It didn’t take long for those to become completely ruined, immediately after he asked for another pair, but when you said no he just snuck into your room and stole a pair; the prettiest, softest pair he could find.
Even stealing one of your bras and a bottle of perfume so he can smell you when he jerks off. He becomes such a pervert that your perfume, underwear, and bras just aren’t enough. So he started taking pictures of you for him to jerk off to, asking if he can record when you give him head.
You knew he used them to jerk off. But you couldn’t imagine how far he was going, playing the videos while he humps the pillow he put your bra and underwear on, after spraying the room with your perfume. Staring at his wall that is decorated with the nudes you sent. Along with pictures that are more wholesome—like ones of you smiling, your outfit, date nights, and even pictures of you sleeping.
The wall became more of a shrine as time passed, he even tapped a loc of your hair—after collection a bunch of tiny strains; to the wall with underwear, napkins you’ve used to wipe away your lip gloss, and even pairs of your discarded lashes—now covered in his cum.
Eventually though, he had to move it to his unused guest room because you decide to go to his place for a change. And he hid it thinking that you haven’t noticed all of your missing things—of course you noticed. His secret obsession was never as secret as he thought, but poor, sick hyuck just can’t get caught being the sicko he truly is.
But he also can’t stop, which leads him to groping you as you lay beside him sleeping. Slipping his hand underneath your loose top and brushing his fingers over your harden nipple, trying his hardest to breath quietly as to not wake you up.
Eventually, he moves on to something more risky when you remain in your sleeping state and decides to push your shirt up so he can see your boobs. He quickly goes from just touching them to kissing them, sucking your nipples and only stopping when you begin to stir in your sleep.
His lack of self control might be the blame for the way he carefully slides your underwear off, practically moaning when he notices how wet you are. He can’t help but stop to sniff your underwear, wrapping them around his cock as he jerks off over your body.
He never imagined he’d do something so deprived and desperate, but he loves you so much and thinks you’re just too pretty.
It’s not until he sees you move again that he realizes what he’s doing. Feeling ashamed he starts to try putting your underwear back on him, but as he’s pushing them up your calf’s you stop him. Not revealing that you’d been awake the whole time, only asking him what he was doing.
In his humiliated state he tries to string together some sort of lie, anything to dig himself out of the hole he’s in—but he can’t, and he doesn’t have to. Instead of shaming him like he expected, you tell him to continue; making him eat you out while he desperately grinds against the bed.
He’s so in love with eating you out that he doesn’t even stop when you finish. Continuing to please your body to the point of overstimulation as he gets high on the sounds you make and the taste of you. Not even when you try pushing his head away or closing your legs does he think of pulling away, you have to pull him by his hair—yanking his head away in order to stop him.
By this point, he hadn’t cum himself. He was too busy eating you out to focus on his own release, but you couldn’t let it end there. Luckily for you though, you didn’t have to ask.
Before you could say anything he began begging to fuck you. Caressing your legs as he looked at you with hazy eyes, his face flushed and his cock throbbing—twitching and leaking between his legs. His longish curly hair, is messy and he’s sweating before you can even say yes. The second you do, he’s practically crying in pure joy and desperation.
Hyuck savors every second of entering you. Rubbing his cock against your folds, slapping it against your pussy and slowly rubbing it against your clit until he finally puts it in.
He breaks as soon as the tip goes in. A soft cry leaves his lips, his voice cracking as he whimpers out your name. He tries to start of slow but he’s so sensitive from anticipation alone that he just can’t wait anymore. Not even seconds after he’s inside of you and he’s already slamming into you, not as fast as he wanted—but hard enough to make his headboard hit the wall with every thrust.
Even then he’s still stuck admiring you, the way your breasts move and the way your eyes roll. He loves seeing how you grip the pillow under your head and the way you try your hardest not to be too loud. It turns him on so much. So much that he feels like he’ll melt.
The sounds of skin clashing, moans, and panting fill the air, a hint of your perfume and sweat tangling with his own. It makes him feel like he’s on cloud 9, like he’s dreaming. It doesn’t take long before he’s trying to warn you that he’s close. Proclaiming his love for you as he fucks you, calling you beautiful and slurring is words together as he possessively calls you his.
He knows he should pull out at that point, but the thought of you being his—baring his child, telling people that he’s your boyfriend, that he’s the one who got you pregnant. That thought is enough to make him risk it and keep going. He’s always wanted to be a father anyways—why not make the woman he finds the most beautiful the mother of his first born?
In his mind-numbed state he doubles over, kissing you as he cums inside of you. Against your lips he mumbles soft ‘I love you’s over and over again unto he’s finally finished.
After this is when you finally find the shrine, to your surprise; it’s much smaller and a lot more wholesome than you thought as after that night, he removed your underwear from it. But it was only because he made a separate on that he keeps in his basement.
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k4is4rion · 1 month ago
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Bob dating hcs :O?
Robert “Bob” Reynolds x GN! Reader HCs
Thank you so much for your request! I’d be happy to give you some of my hcs for dating this gorgeous, gorgeous man
⚠️TWs: Bob typical triggers (references to domestic abuse, drug abuse)
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NOTE: a lot of this is speculative based on the post credit scene of Thunderbolts*!
wc: 1550
⚠️‼️SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT ‼️⚠️
Bob’s has two favorite love languages, with a very close second place, mostly because he can’t make up his mind about which he enjoys doing for you more. The first one being acts of service, doing small tasks for you whenever he can. On top of doing the dishes for the team, he enjoys folding your laundry, making you snacks (he would make more food but he sincerely doubts his ability to cook well), and making you a warm beverage of your choice. He’s memorized which mug is your favorite, how much milk and sugar you prefer, and he always puts in requests for whoever does the grocery shopping to get the brands you prefer. As soon as you mention needing something or needing something done, he’s on it to the best of his ability unless you tell him specifically not to. He likes feeling useful, especially since he struggles with feeling like he’s not doing enough among the group, but you always reassure him that he is.
His second most favorite love language once your relationship has progressed enough definitely has to be physical touch. He is an inherently very anxious person and he’s found that having physical contact with you can be very grounding for him, especially in moments where he’s feeling particularly down. He’s a huge cuddle bug, enjoying it as frequently as possible without overdoing it- even if he doesn’t believe it’s entirely possible to cuddle too much. As much as he enjoys cuddling, his most favorite form of physical contact comes from laying his head in your lap as you play with his hair. He could lay like that for hours if you let him.
You guessed it, quality time is his third favorite! Although, being cooped up together so frequently, it just sort of comes naturally. Quality time together takes many forms, being with the whole team or just one on one. While with the team, you two often sit together while enjoying a meal, watching a movie, traveling, or whatever else you all find yourselves doing. Sometimes you’ll both just enjoy each other’s presence while doing your own things. The whole team is a bunch of insomniacs (John claims he isn’t and is actually very responsible about his sleeping habits. John is lying.) so you’d expect them all to remain for the duration of the movie night, but they don’t, even if they’re the ones selecting the movie. You two often end up cuddled on the couch watching movies for a long time, having even been discovered curled with each other on the couch the next morning. Also, if you for any reason haven’t seen one of his childhood favorite movies due to whatever given reason, he takes immense joy into introducing them to you. Sometimes he gets embarrassed once he realizes that maybe the movie wasn’t as good as he remembered, but you reassure him you enjoyed yourself anyway.
Your fellow team members tease you both about how you seem to be attached at each other’s hip because of your inseparability, but even with their jokes, they’re very happy for you both. They’re glad to see you both happy. Sometimes you’ll have a small moment of affection within the group that’ll be met with a snide comment from Ava, but you know by now it’s not serious or intended to be hurtful.
Unfortunately because of Bob’s early history with addiction, a lot of his relationships have been less than healthy. He’d do anything to make sure he does right by you. With this, he often seeks romantic advice from the New Avengers, but very rarely does anyone besides Bucky have consistently good advice. Ava asked if he was being serious by asking her of all people, then said he if was, their relationship was doomed. John sometimes gives good advice on surface level things like dates, but after Oliva, he doesn’t quite trust himself to say beyond that. Yelena isn’t really into the whole dating thing, making a similar point to Ava. Though, she does have some small moments or general wisdom she can bestow upon Bob. Alexei is well loved by the whole team but, advice from him is not the most sound. When what he’s saying isn’t complete obscurity it’s likely just bad advice. Oddly enough he’s actually had a couple moments of genuinely fantastic advice, not only for their relationship, but just life in general. He was a very mixed bag. Last but not least, Bucky had fantastic advice. He was a bit of a player back in his day, and even if what he said was old fashioned romance, it still held true. His weak spot was when things were specific to the modern sphere of dating, he’d tap out, saying how he’s got no idea how those things go nowadays- this is when a lot of the “Back in my day” moments happen.
Unfortunately actual dates aren’t very common in the time following his “Void” incident. It was incredibly hard to go out since the New Avengers were made public figures, but to make up for this, he improvises. He sets up nice little dates within the confines of the tower. Some of his personal favorites include personal movie nights with all sorts of snacks, a dinner date on the roof, or two person game nights. (Game nights with the team never go well, someone always ends up in tears [its bob])
When the two of you finally can leave the tower together, frequent ice cream trips are a MUST. He always orders a vanilla milkshake with whipped cream, his favorite- even if it’s a little basic. He’d defend his choice in flavoring by saying it was the default for a reason, and even if it was basic, the way the vanilla would linger on his lips certainly wasn’t a negative.
He hardly ever talks about his past. With his father in childhood and later his addiction to morphine and other various drugs, it’s very rare you get something out of him. Occasionally he’ll casually bring up something from his childhood, acting like it was no big deal when in reality in was sort of disturbing. One day he’d say something like “This is like the time I got into a car accident and almost died” at a very mundane thing, leaving everyone very confused. He would be confused why no one would laugh, then remember what his therapist said; time and place. He has deep rooted shame because of both what he’s done and what he’s been through, and shockingly? This is a source of bonding between you two. He regrets a lot he’s done, you regret what you’ve done, but you both know that those things were able to get you to where you are today, and you couldn’t be more thankful.
Because Bob is associated with the avengers, it’s unanimous that he needs to be able to defend himself without the use of his powers, as it poses too much risk as at the moment. He trains differently with the various members, but training with you is his favorite even before you become a thing. Sometimes his enhancements become obvious when he forgets to hold himself back, but you remind him that what he may be up against won’t be so keen on pulling their punches. On the rare chance you spar you go easy on him, knowing he was inexperienced, but he does shockingly well! You even break a sweat, only realizing this when you’ve successfully pinned him down to the mat. He looks up at you with his big blue eyes and blurts out how pretty you look right now, causing you both to be immensely embarrassing.
Make no mistake, even if he is incredibly sweet and often times nervous, he is still a young man. A traumatized, incredibly handsome young man. He hates being infantilized by any means. He says it reminds him of his times in rehab where the nurses would treat him like a child. As he becomes more conscious of his mental illness, he makes a serious effort to help himself. Infantilizing him makes his effort feel devalued.
After the void incident, he feels incredibly anxious that something like that would happen again, even with the assistance of mandated therapy. Your comfort and words of affirmation are helpful in keeping him grounded and very much appreciated, but they only do so much. You try to compensate but it just ends up wearing you out and when he finds this out, he’s consumed with guilt. He reassures you that while he will always appreciate what you do, but at the end of the day, you aren’t responsible for him. You can only do so much and sometimes a person needs more than that, and that’s never your fault.
On a lighter note, he worships the ground you walk on. Insecure? Not if he can help it. He adores you and makes this very clear as often as he can, even if it’s done while avoiding eye contact. Sometimes when you’re just laying together he’ll pepper you with kisses, quietly murmuring how much he loves you and everything he likes about you. He feels like he’s finally understanding what it means to experience genuine love.
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writers-potion · 1 year ago
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Writing Mad Characters
Okay this is a bit awkward because I had this question copypasted into Google Docs I use to draft my answers, and I realized I've lost the question in my inbox (which is being flooded).
So...I'm so sorry for whoever asked this question. Sorry for the delay because I was struggling with life in general for the past month and definitely SORRY for losing your question (-‸ლ)
Q: I'm writing a story where a major character is slowly spiraling into madness where small details kinda hint into the downfall right before the bigger details appear and then it the floodgates open. Is there anything I should avoid? Anything that I should keep in mind? Anything that I should research?
Things to Avoid
“Mad” or “Insane” is too general. Writing a cliched ‘crazy’ character who randomly talks to imaginary people and lashes out at strangers, you’ll offend a whole bunch of people who've gone through/have mental illnesses. Read up on existing mental conditions (schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic disorder and borderline personality disorder, etc.) to see what your character might have. 
Words like “mad” “crazy” or “insane” aren’t enough when you’re describing their status. As mentioned, these words hardly mean much when it comes to providing a clear description.
Contradicting yourself. Throwing random unhinged symptoms here and there wouldn’t work. In fact, you must have a clear arc on which they’re traveling and ensure that your “hints” are all getting at something.
Making the character overly destructive or harmful to others (when nothing really justifies it)
Justifying damaging behavior with this “madness”. Mad or not, your character will still have motives and goals that drive them forward. 
Making them look incompetent just the fact that they have a mental condition that makes them appear “mad” to others shouldn’t prevent them from achieving success. In fact, they may be even more cool-hearted and logical when it comes to their obsessions/goals. 
Research Tips
Narrow down the mental conditions your character experiences. Even if it’s a fictional condition, try basing it on existing ones and building on top of them. 
Take some time to study characters and/or real clinical cases that resemble the kind of madness you’re going for. 
- Anxiety Disorders: excessive fear and dread (ex. phobias) - Mood Disorders: persistent swings in mood or persistent feelings that interfere with daily life (ex. Depression, bipolar) - Psychotic Disorders: disordered thinking (ex. schizophrenia) - Eating Disorders: extreme emotional attitudes toward food (ex. Bulimia, anorexia) - Impulse Disorders: unable to resist urges (ex. Kleptomania, pyromania, gambling) - Personality Disorders: extreme inflexible personality traits (ex. Anti-social disorder, OCPD) - Past Traumatic Stress: persistent, frightening memories leading to emotional numbness 
Does your character have empathy?  
A sociopathic kind of madness is different. 
General Writing Tips for Spiraling into Madness
Establish a Baseline 
A lot of factors (stress, family history, innate personality, trauma, etc.) can contribute to madness, but it is not going to happen in a week. Define the existing mental and physical conditions your character has, and start from there. 
If you’re aiming for suicidal tendencies at the end, you want to start with symptoms of depression (a condition that may lead to suicide) - growing apathetic, erratic sleeping patterns, irritability, etc. 
This is also the stage where you want to plant some triggers that’ll go off later.
Trigger Events
A perfectly sound character suddenly spiraling down the madness route due to a single accident or traumatizing event isn’t convincing. 
A madness “snap” denies the reader the experience of watching the character’s journey into madness and how they feel about it. 
Internal Conflict (antagonist in himself) 
You must remember that madness is incurable. If someone could “cure” themselves by eating healthy, exercising and taking a few pills, it wouldn’t be much of a madness, would it? This means that the worst antagonist is going to be the character themselves, or the part of them that’s been taken away. 
Show how they are frustrated with themselves, scared of themselves, angry at their “alternative self”. The experience of not knowing yourself is a whole journey of its own.
Physical Manifestations/Quirks
If your character has a routine, show how they break down. 
They might develop habits that they otherwise would never allow themselves to have, perhaps as an effort to “keep this madness out”
Deteriorating Relationships
Depict how the character’s madness impacts his closed/loved ones. In the earlier stages, those close to him might be faster to notice and accept the signs of madness, even if the character denies it him/herself.
The first signs of madness might show when the character is trying to deal with difficult relationships - like losing patience and being unable to pick up subtle social clues.
Choosing Obsessions Over Primal Urges 
For these characters, obsession can take over a person’s normal urge to eat, sleep or even live. This can lead to, more or less, suicide. 
Example: In Black Swan, Nina’s obsession with becoming the perfect ballerina drive her to insanity, to the point where she doesn't mind dying on stage for the show.
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yvesstar · 6 months ago
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FORGOTTEN PROMISES ; P.SH
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starring: park sunghoon x fem reader
sypnosis: When Sunghoon, your loving bf who started being distant and more cold towards you, it leads to a bunch of empty promises and a lot of lip service. Eventually, you reached your breaking point. Will things between you and Sunghoon get better?
author’s note: this is my first post !! please lmk how it is. + i don’t like how the ending is but oh well :”
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Y/n has always been surrounded by people who never cared about her since a young age. A lot of her important events were missed by her parents and her friends never really cared about it either. From graduations to competitions to birthdays, no one ever showed up. Yet for some reason, when she started dating Park Sunghoon; a guy who finally made her feel important, she couldn’t help but have some sort of expectation when it came to her special events.
The clock was ticking, as you sat down on your plush sofa, all dolled up. He had promised to take you out for your birthday since he had been quite busy with work a bit distant from your. You sighed out of frustration, phone in your hand as you scrolled mindlessly. Your mind began to ponder.. “What if he’s tired of me?” you thought to yourself.
You contemplated it for awhile, your world going silent before snapping out of it. “No, no, that’s nonsense.. he’d tell me if it were so..” you thought, trying to make yourself feel better.
Now, it had been 2 hours since you had finished getting ready and it was getting late. Your heart was getting heavier and you couldn’t help but feel sad. You didn’t even want a big celebration or anything, just a simple “happy birthday” from him would be good enough; but you haven’t even seen him the whole day.
You sighed as you texted him in hopes that he would at least tell you where he was.
“hoon are you almost home?”
“hello?”
“hoon??”
You had texted him multiple times but to no avail. The time was now 11.50 pm, feeling defeated you got up to remove your makeup and clothes. You stood in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at yourself. You had put so much of time into getting ready, to look pretty to go out with your beloved boyfriend but instead you got stood up.
Staring at yourself, you felt like the biggest fool in the world. “It’s stupid how I actually thought he’d show up.. haha, what the fuck am I even thinking? Why would anyone care about me?” you exclaimed, tearing up as you did. “God, this is so stupid!” you huffed out, practically crying.
“Y/n baby? Is that you?” a voice called out from the living room. You groaned. Of course Sunghoon had to come home the exact moment when you were breaking down. You quickly replied, hoping that he didn’t hear your original discourse with yourself. “Yeah Hoon, I’m in the bathroom” you said, trying to make your voice stable. You quickly finished taking your makeup and clothes off and hurried out.
The moment he locked eyes with your slightly red and puffy eyes, he knew something was wrong. But he couldn’t put his finger on it.. “Is everything okay my love?” he asked softly, as he put down his coat and leaned on the sofa. “Yeah, great” you answered coldly. He furrowed his brows, tilting his head. “What’s up with the tone y/n? I come back after a long day of work and you’re giving me attitude?” he said, his tone slightly stern.
You froze. Not sure if it was out of anger or sadness, but something inside you twitched. “What the fuck? Attitude? Are you joking Sunghoon?” you exclaimed, getting frustrated. He looked taken aback, not sure what exactly triggered you. He was about to say something but you cut him off. “I’ve been waiting for you since 4 hours ago! You promised to take me out and I’ve been waiting for you like an idiot! To be quite frank, I’m so fucking sick of it!” you ranted, you stopped for a breather and continued.
“I don’t expect much when it comes to things like this, but you promised! I just wanted a simple “Happy Birthday” from you.. is it that hard?” she lamented, tears threatening to spill. Sunghoon’s face contorted into one of guilt as it finally hits him. He missed your birthday. He immediately stood up to get closer to you, his hands reaching to hold yours. “Baby, I’m sorry.. I.. I was busy with work and I just didn’t have the time to reply..” he said, his head hanging low. “I.. I should have just taken the day off, I’m sorry”.
You were already in tears, your voice shaky as you said “I know.. but you’ve been so distant.. I.. I thought you didn’t like me anymore or—“ He cut you off, his expression and tone concerned. “Not like you anymore? Don’t ever say that nonsense.” He said as he guided you to the sofa to sit down. He put his hands up to your face, caressing it as his thumbs wiped off your tears. “Y/n, baby, listen.” He said as his eyes locked with yours. “I will, never ever, fall out of love with you. Never okay? I love you so much, that I’m willing to bend the universe for you.. So don’t ever doubt our relationship.. I feel awful my love, will you allow me to make it up to you?” He asked, his gaze soft and loving.
“I.. I know it’s a lot to ask.. but please, I want to make things better. I promise that I’ll change..” he added softly. You felt conflicted, what if it was another empty promise? He noticed the conflict in your eyes and assured you “Please y/n.. Trust me, I really mean it this time.” You blinked slowly and nodded. “Okay.. I.. I forgive you” you said softly. He was ecstatic, pulling you into a tight embrace as he muttered a thousand thank you’s and peppered your face in kisses. “You won’t regret this, I swear” he said in between kisses. You burst into a fit of giggles, finding his behaviour cute.
That whole night, he showered you with kisses and words of affirmations. From then on, he did his best to make you feel loved and wanted, never wanting to hurt you ever again.
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© yvesstar— do not copy, steal or repost my work without permission
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fashion-runways · 2 years ago
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okay it's been over a year and i keep saying i'm going to make a new post and it's too exhausting to even think about the whole thing so i keep pushing it-- here's the link to the old post if you want a more detailed thing i wrote back then.
anyway, a year ago, out of the blue, our apartment got raided by the police, they broke our front door, they broke a bunch of shit inside, they took a bunch of our stuff, they barely gave us answers or an explanation, they took my dad and made it seem like he would have to sign some stuff and answer some questions and come back, but it's been over a year (since june 2022) and he hasn't come back, and his case is still up in the air. they're barely working on it. they didn't pay for all the shit they broke, they haven't returned all the shit they took, we had to spend a lot of money on that, i had to take a loan to buy a new computer so i could keep working and studying, on top of spending even more money on basic needs for my dad in jail and lawyers, plus blood pressure and anxiety medications, plus he's old and he was scheduled an eye surgery that he obviously couldn't go to so he's like, practically blind in one eye now, also new clothes for him to wear there (there's a bunch of rules for that), honestly i already lost track of how many things we had to pay for. it's been incredibly stressful and it still is even now that we've gotten used to it. he's been detained for a year for something that they still don't even know if he did and the case is barely moving, i don't know if they're like... i don't know, waiting for the man to die in there since he's already old so they don't have to admit they don't have enough proof for all the mess they made? i don't know. like i said back then, please don't ask me for details on the case or show up in my inbox trying to play tiktok true crime and guess what he did/didn't do. it happened a few times and it's extremely triggering, please don't. please.
this blog is basically my job. it's my primary source of income, i don't have anything else, no matter how many interviews i go to, in the country/city i live and in the state our economy is, if you don't have contacts it's impossible to get a job. i'm always signing up to free programs to learn new things while i don't have a job, try to make my cv bigger, but it doesn't matter. if you don't have someone saying “please hire my friend/family member” or you don't have 500 years of experience, they won't. so like i said, donations people make to this blog are how me and my mom (and my pets) stay afloat. it's what we use to pay for food, general groceries, transportation, electricity, wifi, water, gas, health insurance, stuff for my dad in jail, meds for my mom who has diabetes, food and meds for my pets. i don't go out much, i haven't gotten a haircut in a year, i barely spend money in anything that makes me happy except once in a blue moon when i stop feeling guilty lmao i had a redbubble account also that helped a little too, but last week it got suspended without an explanation as i was uploading new designs, so i don't even have that now. i made a new account on teepublic, but all my designs in high quality are locked behind redbubble and i can't even log into because of the suspension. it's... complicated, and it's a lot, but it is what it is.
i'm always keeping an eye out on new collections, new designers, new cool things. like i said, i love fashion, i studied fashion, and i know a lot of you use this blog as inspiration whether it's for yourselves or for your art, so i don't want to post all similar stuff all the time, i want to post all kinds of styles and brands as much as i can. which is why when i say if you like this blog, if you want to support me, sending even the smallest amount of money helps me keep going. living in latin america, the exchange rate is kind of insane, so truly any amount of money donated helps. unfortunately, i never stop needing money to survive and help keep my family afloat, but in the past year more than ever.
as usual, my kofi link is this one: https://ko-fi.com/fashionrunways and my (new) teepublic link is this one: https://www.teepublic.com/user/dinah-lance. if my redbubble account gets reinstated, i'll add that link eventually too. and as always, thanks for loving this blog and for loving fashion like i love fashion, even when i post crazy looking stuff, and thanks for helping. you have no idea how much your support helps, but it really does, i don't even know if i'd be alive right now if it wasn't for this blog.
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dawneternal · 1 year ago
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And Yesterday You Were Here With Me
you were bigger than the whole sky / you were more than just a short time
✦ Azriel x Reader. Platonic Cassian x Reader, Nesta being a good friend.
✦ this one is a bit vulnerable to share. It's definitely something I wrote to process some of my own grief. (Hopefully it's not disrespectful to post this the day after mother's day) Take care of yourself and don't read if it will trigger you 💛
✦ Warnings: miscarriage, description of miscarriage/blood, grief and loss
✦ Read on AO3
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You sit frozen, staring down at the crimson marbling the water in the toilet, struggling to breathe properly.
It was only last night that you had put the pieces together. Your late cycle, nausea, and fatigue. The strange gut feeling that something was off, but not in a bad way. In a new way - a different way. You immediately planned to try and see a healer here in the Day Court while on your mission with Cassian. That way you could return to Night and tell Azriel right away. You could barely sleep, excitement and nervousness filling every inch of your being as you tried to think up a clever or funny way to tell your mate.
And now all of those hopes and plans had crumbled, slipping through your fingers before you could catch them. Now, sitting on the toilet and feeling the cramps crashing through your body, you understood how quickly your heart had filled with love for this little possibility.
Before the full impact of it had even hit you, before you had even left the bathroom, you found yourself wishing you could skip ahead a month or a year. Because once the grief began, you knew it was going to be almost unbearable.
•✦•✦•✦•
You padded toward the door to the room next to yours, shifting your weight from foot to foot as you knocked. The door swung open wide and Cassian appeared. His smile quickly turned to confusion as he registered your bare legs, oversized t-shirt just barely covering your underwear. You had meant to put your shorts back on but they were forgotten on the bathroom floor in your flurry of emotion.
Cassian grasped your arm and pulled you into his room, looking both ways down the hall before he closed it behind him.
"What are you doing?" He asked in bewilderment, whirling around to look at you.
"We have to go right now. I need Azriel." You cursed your wavering voice. You were trying desperately to hold it together. Not to send anything down the bond and worry Azriel.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Cassian's face softened, confusion turning to concern as he inspected you for injury, eyes skimming over your trembling form, the hem of your shirt bunched in your fists.
"I-" You knew he was going to ask but the question broke you anyways. You slid to the floor, lip quivering. The thick carpet was rough against your bare legs.
A sob wracked your body as the grief began, dark churning waves swallowing you whole. There was no stopping it, no turning back. Almost immediately, you felt a questioning tug on the golden thread in your chest.
Cassian crouched beside you, elbows resting on his knees. He didn't speak for a moment, trying to decipher the scene, grimacing at the sorrowful cry you let out.
"Your cycle?" He asked, his voice gravelly. You could tell from the worry in his tone that he already knew the answer but you shook your head anyways. He could smell it. The blood and the loss.
"How long have you...." His voice drifts off, like the rest of the question would only break you further. It probably would.
"Last night," You manage between gasps, tears wetting your face and neck, leaving dark spots on your collar.
"Are you in any pain?" He asks, and you nod again, clutching your lower stomach in answer.
Cassian stands and disappears. You can hear sounds of rummaging, zipping and scraping as you bury your face in your hands. Azriel's questioning pulls are growing closer together and more frantic.
Cassian returns with his pack slung over his shoulder, a pair of his sweatpants in hand. He grabs your shoulders gently and pulls you up. Then he holds out the sweatpants for you to step into, letting you brace yourself on his shoulders. He scoops you up without a word and you let your head fall against his shoulder, tears never ceasing.
•✦•✦•✦•
The House of Wind comes into view and Cassian can make out Azriel, pacing back and forth on the balcony. As soon as you are close enough, his shadows dart toward you in the sky, circling to check for injuries. You're not sure what they'll tell him.
Cassian lands smoothly and you are instantly handed to Azriel, his familiar warmth pulling a fresh wave of tears down your face. His anxious face is looking down at you and can't stand the tenderness, letting your eyes close. He's whispering with Cassian and you can't hear what they're saying inside your bubble of grief. But you feel a wave of sorrow through the bond and you silently thank Cassian for saying the words you couldn't conjure.
Azriel is taking you inside, holding you tightly against him, and you can hear the sound of beating wings as Cassian takes off again.
You hear the thud of Az's boots on the floor, then you're shifting in his arms as he sits cross legged on the couch and pulls you into his lap. You pull your knees to your chest and he wraps his arms around you.
"I'm sorry," you croak, voice hoarse from crying.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," His deep voice rumbles in his chest and the vibrations are comforting. His fingers are running through your hair, soft kisses pressed to your forehead. His other hand rubs your back in soothing circles.
Cassian returns soon with Madja, carrying her bag of supplies. You are looking deliberately anywhere but at their faces, not able to bear any sadness or compassion you might find. Such shame has enveloped you, but you're not even sure what for. You don't have the words for it.
She lets you stay in Azriel's arms as she examines you. Her hands glow with a golden aura as she moves them up and down, then centers them over your lower abdomen. You feel a strange tingling as her magic pulses through you, returning back to her with information about your condition. The room is silent as she works, watching and waiting.
When Madja is done, she runs a tender hand across your forehead, brushing your hair back from your face.
"You were right, dear," She says, her voice is kind but with no pity like you feared, "A miscarriage. An early one, likely about six to eight weeks. They're sadly very common in early pregnancy."
Azriel's hands tighten around you, your gaze too focused on the healer to see the tremble of his bottom lip. But Cassian sees it, and it splits his heart in two. Madja places a few vials on the coffee table and continues,
"Take one of these a day and they'll help with the pain and ward off infection. You'll want to keep in mind that your emotions may be a little high as your hormones even back out. And plan for your next cycle to be extra heavy. I'd like to see you around that time to make sure all is well."
You nod, biting your bottom lip to keep the crying from starting again. You want to ask her about the overwhelming sorrow you feel, if that's normal or not. But she presses a hand to your cheek and gives you a sad smile and you understand that she knows what you're feeling.
"I'm sorry for your loss, my dear," she says, then turns to Azriel and presses her hand to his face in turn, "I know that you don't need my warning, because you're a good man and you'll support her. But don't for a moment let her believe that this was her fault. There was nothing anyone could have done, and now she needs to rest and heal. And you take care of yourself, as well."
You look up at Azriel's face and watch him give a grave nod. He looks down at you, a few tears falling down his face, and you wipe them away as your own begin again.
•✦•✦•✦•
The next few days are spent in your shared room, curled up in the bed. Mourning, crying, sometimes smiling and laughing over daydreams of what could have been. Your beautiful possibility.
Your fear of Azriel's reaction entirely melts away. He grieves with you, tenderly reassures you that you've done nothing wrong. That when the time comes again you'll make a wonderful mother and he'll welcome the new life with you. He begins the habit of calling your lost one your little star. It somehow soothes and sharpens the pain at the same time.
You did not know it was possible to miss something you'd only had for such a short time. To feel such an unbearable amount of love for something you had not even held in your arms. And you knew the love would not go away even though your little star was no longer with you. All of that love would stay in your heart until your last day on earth, and beyond that it would burn in the sky as a glittering star when you were finally reunited with your baby. Someday, you would grow around the grief and your body would learn to hold it with less pain, but until then your very bones would ache with the loss.
•✦•✦•✦•
When you're ready, a handful of your friends gather with you to say goodbye. Feyre, Cassian, and Nesta follow you to the Sidra under the full moon. They were the only ones who knew, yet. In time you'd tell all of them, but it was all too fragile still. You couldn't even think the words without a lump forming in your throat. Rhys knew and had sent his condolences, and you suspected his absence was out of respect to your privacy.
Nesta and Feyre had helped you begin to return to normal, coming over in the morning to braid your hair and make sure you had breakfast. Even though Azriel had never left your side. Slowly, the shock faded away into the dull ache of mourning, the numbness in your body giving way to the aftermath of its loss.
Today, Nesta held your coat out for you and tucked your scarf around your neck. When you slip your hands into your pockets, you find something waiting for you. You pull it out, holding it flat in your palm to examine.
A bracelet. Strands of light pink, light blue, and gold woven together. A tiny golden star charm dangled from it. You look at Nesta with a wobbly chin, eyes glistening, and she smiles, giving your arm a squeeze.
Now, you kneel at the edge of the Sidra, near the mouth of the river pouring into the sea. The moonlight dances on the gently flowing water, stars glimmering as far as the eye could see.
You murmur your prayer and place your lantern in the water, watching the current carry it away to the sea. Azriel sits beside you and pulls you tight against his side, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. His tears are cold against your skin. You watch the little light drift away toward the horizon, staying until the cold of the ground seeps through your shoes and the lantern has long since disappeared.
Mother hold you, little star. May she greet you with all the love and tenderness I cannot give you, and may she keep you close until I leave this earth and come to meet you. As long as I am breathing, you will not leave my heart for a moment.
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hoe4sports · 1 year ago
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Two blossoms on a single branch
Ona Battle x reader
Triggers; Post partum anxiety. Angst.
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Ona was always very clear on that she wanted to be a mom. She wanted kids, multiple of them. A family, a golden retriever, an suv: the whole shebang. The process from you getting pregnant through ivf wasn’t very long, you got lucky and it sticked on the first try. Or, she sticked. Your sweet daughter, Sofia was born on her duedate a bright sunny day in July. She was the most perfect newborn: she slept through the night fast and would only cry if she was hungry. She was all over just a very happy baby.
That lasted until she was 3 months, and let’s just say; hell broke loose. Your normally happy daughter had started crying at every chance she got. She would only be quiet if she was being rocked in her stroller or if she was being bounced back and forth. Sometimes, bouncing wasn’t even enough. You had spent hours upon hours each night trying to calm her so that Ona would get her sleep as her restitution was a part of her job. Being one of the best footballers in the world had its benefits.
You were pacing in the downstairs living room while walking back and forth between the couch and the kitchen in hopes that it would calm Sofia down. The now 1,5 year old was crying even after food, diaper, cuddlesand bathing. Nothing seemed to help. Her high pitched screaming was awful, and you knew that Ona had been developed postpartum anxiety that she was still working on. It was normal for partners, especially female partners to develope it as they naturally would fear that the baby wouldn’t connect. Ona hadn’t felt connected to the baby since the era of crying had begun. Every time Ona stepped into the room while she was crying, it would only get worse and you wouldn’t be able to calm her down. You were trying your best to support her, but sometimes you wished that you could have some support as you were running on 3 hours sleep every night for the last 9 months.
“Shh, baby, come here, you are okay. Mamma is here, princesa” You shushed as the high pitched screaming started just five minutes after you had put her down sleeping in her stroller. The stroller was where she usually slept best leaving you to have an inside stroller and an outside stroller. The little blonde was red from crying, her icy blue eyes full of tears as she grabbed your arm. You stood up and started rocking her again. Her crying was only escalating, and you were just hoping that Ona wouldn’t wake up. “Baby, mamma dosent know what’s wrong” You said as you tried to adjust her position to a more upright one. You had done everything we could; taken her to a bunch of doctors, chiropractors and therapists. Nothing was wrong with her, she was just fussy. You brushed her hair back from her face as it was drenched in tears. “Ai, mamma wishes she could understand you better, preciosa” you said as you walked towards the kitchen hoping that she was wanting her bottle. It was more of a comfort than a source of food as she was getting older, but she was still taking it. You pressed the baby brezza. The machine buzzed as the milk was mixed and warmed at the perfect temperature. You grabbed the bottle and tested it on your arm before taking it with you to the living room. You sat up in the big larger chair and supported your daughter on a pillow as you offered her the bottle. She thankfully accepted it as she kept drinking making the cutest whines you could ever imagine a baby making. Everytime she stopped crying, you were reminded of how sweet she was and how much you loved her.
The clock was now 6.30 and Ona entered the living room. You quickly gestured for her to not talk as Sofia had finally settled down. When Sofia would finally sleep, you wouldn’t dare to move. “Hi” you whispered as she shoot you an apologetic smile while slipping into the bathroom. You frowned. You missed your wife. You missed how she kissed you on your forehead, how she could hug you, how she would hold you and how she would cuddle you when you went to bed. Life hasn’t really allowed for any of that lately. Sofia wasn’t at a place where you could bring her to the trainings as she only cried. You loved being a football player, but you loved being Sofia’s mamma more so going back to work was paused.
After some time, Ona reappeared from the bathroom as she was fully dressed to go to work. “No breakfast, grabbing something at the arena” she said as she kissed your forehead and walked fast towards the door. “Baby?” You asked as she stopped with her back towards you holding tightly on to the door handle. “Mmm?” She responded, not turning around. Almost like a deer in the headlights. Sofia then woke up and turns her head towards her mami while blinking slowly. “Que, mi-» Ona started before she looked at Sofia in horror. “Ai, no-“ she said again as she was cut off by the familiar sound of Sofia fussing while she was looking at her mami. Her little lips forming into a pout as her feet was kicking and her hands were reaching towards Ona. Ona quickly walked out the door before saying “sorry” as she left. When the door closed, Sofia was once again screaming. “Ai, mi princesa, what’s wrong” you cooed as you tried to cradle her in your arms. It didn’t work as she only became more wiggly, and you were forced to put her down to give yourself a minute to breathe. She had been walking for a few months, so as soon as you, put her down she shot up while launching unsteadily towards the door only to fall on her butt when she tried to reach the doorknob. “Mama” she said as she started crying. You sighted and walked towards her to pick her up. “NO, Mama! Mama!” She screamed as she tried to throw herself backwards. “Baby, I’m here, mamma is here” You said as you catched her and leaned her body into you and she grabbed your sweater with all the might that her tiny fists could hold. “Mama” she cried as you stood confused while bouncing her back and forth in the living room. You stopped in front of the window to see Ona pull out of the parking lot in her Mercedes. You could hear Sofia fumbling with something behind your back as if she was playing with the shelf. “Baby, be caref-“ you said as you shifted her position to sit on your hip. Except she had something in her hands. A frame of you and Ona before Sofia was born. Ona holding your waist as you laughed together. Your absolute favourite picture of you together.
The little girl pointed to the picture as she sniffled. “Mama” she said as she pointed and hugged the frame into her body. You sat down with her in the couch and grabbed the picture as you held it up infront of her. “that’s Mamma” You said as you pointed towards you. “And that’s Mami” you said as you pointed towards Ona. Sofia sniffled as she wiped her nose with her hand before pointing towards Ona. “Mama” she said as you took a look at her and realised that she was trying to talk. “Mamma” you said as you pointed to yourself. “Mami” you said as you pointed towards Ona. “That’s mamma and Mami” You repeated as she sniffed. “Mami” she mumbled as you started at her in shock. “Yes Sofia! Mami, that’s right! Estas mami!” You said as you cheered, Sofia almost immediately clapping for herself. It was the first time that Sofia had been able to separate mamma from mami and you couldn’t be more proud as I wished that Ona would be here for it.
Later that day you tried to feed Sofia lunch after her midday nap. She wasn’t having it throwing the soft boiled paprika to the ground before the potatoes and the carrots followed. She cried, and cried, and cried and cried and cried. You let out a sight as you picked her up. “Preciousa, mamma knows that you are hungry” you said as you looked at her while she was crying. You closed your eyes and let out a sighed before taking a couple of deep breaths like the therapist had advised Ona to. “Okay preciousa, how about mamma make you some porridge, si?” You said as you reached over to the little girl and picked her up. She was still crying, but not as bad as before. It had probably something to do with the smell of the familiar porridge spreading around the house. It was one of the few things she liked, and it was the same porridge Ona had grown up with. The smell of milk, oats and cinnamon was wrapping your house in a feeling of bliss, comfort and familiarity. As the porridge was done, you buckled Sofia into her chair again before feeding it to her. She was luckily eating this time, but you could see that the exhaustion was taking its toll on her. You picked her up and got her all cleaned off as you headed towards the living room. Originally, you had wanted to keep her toys in her playroom but motherhood was rough and toys were now in every room. You sat Sofia down as she reached for her train. It was a blue train that Ona got her for her first birthday. She loved the train and would always bring it to bed when you tried putting her down for the first time at night. After a good 20 minutes of Sofia playing soundly on the floor giving you some well needed time to refresh your mind: the lock in the door clicked. Your eyes shot up as you immediately got scared. Ona was at practice and all of your family were busy. You grabbed Sofia terrified of whoever was behind the door. You held Sofia close as she looked up at you and was feeding off of your nervous energy. Your hand searched for your phone to be ready to dial for help as you gulped. The door-handle suddenly twisted and Sofia started her high pitched crying when she saw the face behind the door. It was Ona that had been told to go home early as she seemed exhausted. Sofia cried as she screamed and Ona looked like she was about to fall apart in the middle of the hallway. Sofia screamed as she reached her arms out and threw herself back in your arms trying to wiggle loose.
Then it hit you like a brick. Like a train. Like a trailer. As if the sky had just fallen down. Sofia wanted Ona. She wanted mami, not mamma. She was missing mami, and her little heart was longing for her mami’s warm touches. Sofia and Ona had a good relationship before the crying started, and you were just now able to put two pieces together. You sat down Sofia on the floor as you stood up and looked at Ona. Ona gulped as the toddler was stumbling towards her terrified of what would happen and her hand instinctively reached for the door. “Ona, stay.” You commanded as your daughter made her way towards Ona. She reached her front and stood at Ona’s legs trying to be picked up as she cried. Her little arms reaching up to Ona as she wanted to be close. “Mami,mami!” She yelled as Ona closed her eyes and took a breath while once again, looking like she was about to break down. She took a step a side causing your daughter to fall on her butt making her cry even louder. “She wants you” Ona said as she ushered towards the staircase and your master bedroom. You sighted as you picked up Sofia, and just as you were about to try and soothe her; you decided that it was time to try something new.
You walked after Ona with the screaming baby in your arms. Ona was sitting on the bed, her face in her hands while she was sobbing. Sofia stopped crying as she looked nervously at you. “Mami” she said as she pointed towards Ona. “Si princesa, estas mami, Mami is feeling sad. Maybe you wanna give her a cuddle, si?” You said as you slowly moved towards Ona scared that she was gonna leave again. You sat down next to her on the bed as your daughter sobbed. “Ona, what does Sofia call me?” You asked as Sofia sobbed in your arms. “Mamma” Ona responded still with her face hidden. “Si, and what is she saying?” You asked as you tried to console Ona. “Mamma” Ona said as she looked up at you, eyes red from crying. Just as you were about to continue your rambles, Sofia reached her arms for Ona and got out of your grip leaving her to bolt at Ona. “Mami, Mami” she cried as she grabbed the fabric of Ona’s sweater tightly, like she was scared that she would leave again. “She’s saying Mami” you said as you looked at Ona who wasn’t able to put the pieces of the puzzle together even thought you were basically giving her all the clues. “Mami” Sofia muttered as she frowned and sat down on her butt after not getting any attention. Ona’s eyes lit up as it finally clicked. She looked down at Sofia and instantly grabbed the little girl holding her close like she did when she was a baby. Sofia’s big blue eyes met Ona’s and a small smile formed on her face as she closed her eyes and relaxed. “Ona, she wants you. That’s why she’s crying. She wants her mami.” You said as you rubbed Ona’s back. You could see tears forming in Ona’s eyes as she studied the little girl suddenly seeing how eyes were icy blue, just the the most beautiful glacier she had ever seen. How her skin felt like the most expensive silk she had ever touched. Her finger traced her noce as she saw the little ski jump nose already making its mark on her face. The roses in her cheeks making her look so vulnerable. “Baby, mami’s here. Mami is so so sorry, but Mami is here now. Mami is never gonna disappoint you again, princesa. Mami is gonna get better, for you and for mamma.” She said as Sofia’s body finally relaxed and drifted off to sleep. You looked at Ona who looked like she had just discovered oil. She looked over at you as tears were forming in her eyes. “I’m sorry, mi amor. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m gonna take the week off, and we can have time together as a family. I haven’t been the best mami, but I’m gonna try to figure this out for you, for us. I’m sorry for diss-“ you cut her off with a kiss knowing this was finally it. Ona was finally ready to try to connect with her daughter again.
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loopingpyre · 1 year ago
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So way back, around when P5 was coming out, MysticDistance was making a name subtitling prerelease stuff and interviews. I was in a group with him, The Mayonaka Network, where it was covered, and also later ran interviews with voice actors. But what happens when no one is looking to you for information anymore? You start trying to find stuff to leak. This got him kicked from the group because he started leaking the interviews in advance, and it turned into a whole struggle because he allied himself with another guy in the group, Mike/Skull, who was an asshole (and also kicked). Cut forward a few years, the two of them, (Skull had rebranded to Phansite at this point), have been trying to cultivate Pure Sweet Friendly Community images on twitter pages, before having a big falling out because- they're both kind of shitty people. Mike/Skull/Phansite goes dark, Mystic tries to find Persona news and leaks by pestering people and is wrong too many times before he vanishes too. As it turned out, Mystic wiped (most) of their account, rebranded to Midori and then went back to practicing their japanese and translating Atlus things. Until they somehow managed to get access to some sort of leaked SEGA document, internal 2022-2023 presentations that formed the basis for the shareholder meetings showing their next years plans. So now they create their new persona, a female japanese atlus or sega game dev, who has started Leaking information whilst learning english. The information is mostly correct, and they become super popular. Sonic and Persona are making big numbers after all. But the presentation doc eventually runs out, and they have No More New Information. So they start trying to pester and harass people over dms to try and get new info, which causes a bunch of people to go 'wait the way you're acting is kind of familiar'. It triggers enough flags for some people to go through all of midori's posts and- Wow it turns out Mystic didn't delete all of their old posts, and the wayback machine can prove the account rebrand. And that's the story of how we know that the 'English Learning Game Dev Girl from Japan' Midori, infamous and largely correct leaker on twitter, turned out to be MysticDistance/Ryan, a white dude from Chicago who wants to run for city council. How the hell do you not just clear your account?
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novy2sirius · 9 months ago
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VENUS HOUSE CORE ©novy2sirius
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🝮 more core posts: moon core // mercury core
🝮 trigger warning: s3x (only for 18+), venus in 5h men, stalkers/stalking
🝮 take these with a grain of salt since the entire chart matters. this isn’t a super serious post. it’s meant more so for entertainment
🝮 these are random things i’ve noticed these people seem to relate to and specific experiences i’ve seen multiple of them have before
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𐚁 venus in the 1h
being told your whole life that you should be a model, being direct when you like someone/not being able to hide it, a main focal point in your life being romance, being a beauty symbol, being weirdly turned on when your crush gets mad at you, loving really passionately, enjoying being alone or just doing things on your own/being independent
𐚁 venus in the 2h
wanting to spend all your money on your bf/gf/theyf/themf, being a gold digger or coincidentally only falling for people that are wealthy, being a talented singer, being a fashion icon, having strong self worth, having good values, being a chronic shopper, being an extremely determined person, dating people who have strong self worth
𐚁 venus in the 3h
being extremely charming, being told you have a “flirty personality”, dating people you met on social media/a dating app, having a pretty/cute voice, having a crush on your neighbors as a kid, people always calling your siblings hot, loving poetry, being the only person you know who actually enjoys school, loving romantic novels, being a good communicator, wanting for there to be fairness in arguments, having a nice car, having a crush on your uber driver
𐚁 venus in the 4h
your mood being dependent on how good you look, not enjoying s3x unless there’s an emotional connection formed between you and the person prior, finding out that someone had a crush on you for years after they stop having a crush on you because they waited too damn late to tell you, your inner child coming out around your partner, people crushing on your mom, people being jealous of your family, people being jealous of your house, having a baby/childlike voice
𐚁 venus in the 5h
having really pretty hair and being complimented all the time on your hair, weirdly enjoying risk-taking activities, having similar hobbies to your lovers, your child-like spirit coming out around your lover, having flings and then ending up dating them, having beautiful children, being the life of the party, being really creative, BEING A GOD DAMN PLAYER.. sorry the men that have this always fuck me over apologies ✨
𐚁 venus in the 6h
getting the ick from guys/girls/thems easily, being super picky about who you date, one of your dealbreakers in relationships being not showering every day, falling in love with your coworkers, loving animals more than humans, acts of service being your love language, being really good at giving advice, judging others but only to help them improve because you love them
𐚁 venus in the 7h
being conventionally attractive, your best friend fucking your bf/gf/theyf/themf, people always thinking you have a crush on them/someone else when you very obviously don’t, having really pretty hair and being complimented all the time on your hair, enemies acting like they hate you but secretly being in love with you, having jealous partners, being extremely charming
𐚁 venus in the 8h
being told “you’re so shy omg” when you’re literally just existing, people always thinking you have a crush on them/someone else when you very obviously don’t, always falling for the “bad boys/girls/thems”, being stalked by your ex, dating/marrying rich people, finding out that someone had a crush on you for years after they stop having a crush on you because they waited too damn late to tell you, having a seductive aura, being obsessed with romance
𐚁 venus in the 9h
having a bunch of long distance relationships, having a crush on a bunch of people that live far away from you, finding people outside of your culture more attractive, forming beliefs based on your lovers/crushes opinions, changing your beliefs based on the people you admire, loving astrology, loving spirituality, having a crush on tv characters more than people you actually have met in real life
𐚁 venus in the 10h
being known for your beauty or the people you date, dating/marrying successful people, your career involving things you love or the arts, falling in love with your bosses or coworkers, only crushing on famous people, being admired by the public, everyone having a crush on your dad, leaving behind a beautiful legacy after passing
𐚁 venus in the 11h
having a crush on the weirdest people, not being able to enjoy a show as much unless it has a ship (cute couple) in it, finding people outside of your own race more attractive, people wishing they looked like you, dating your best friend, dating people you met online, having a lot of attractive friends, having a lot of jealous friends, marrying wealth, being a chronic online shopper, being good at social networking
𐚁 venus in the 12h
being able to hide that you have a crush on someone really well, being ghosted after talking to someone for months, having to file a restraining order against your ex, being told “you’re so shy omg” when you’re literally just existing, not being able to enjoy a show as much unless it has a ship (cute couple) in it, finding out that someone had a crush on you for years after they stop having a crush on you because they waited too damn late to tell you, having an addiction to being in love, loving spirituality, having a crush on animated characters on tv more than people you actually know that are human
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