#(compared to earlier when i just. could not quite move well. felt like a 90 year old)

[dagasinfilo]

[kvj-novels]

Senku x fem named!reader

Rating: this chapter is E for everyone though there is some mild language

Warnings: this fic has elements of smut and a mention of eating disorders THIS CHAPTER DOES NOT CONTAIN THE CONTENT WITH THESE WARNINGS.

Summary: Imogen has been awakened from petrification but she suffers from amnesia upon waking up. Senku and Taiju - her lover and childhood friend (respectively) before the petrification - must do their best to help her recall her past life.

Smut summary: soft sex, first time, no warnings but very NSFW.

Chapter Two

The sun was lighting up the sky as we stepped into the village. A few of the villagers were up and bustling already.  “Ginro!” Chrome called out to one of them. “Run and grab Senku.” He asked. The boy ran off.  “Chrome, why don’t you get everyone settled, I’ll take Emerald to Senku with Ginro.” “Sounds good.” He said, breaking off with the others.  “Who is this...Senku?” I asked Ruri.  “Oh, I’m sorry we’ve completely forgotten to say haven’t we? He’s our leader. He’s the first man to wake up from the petrification. He’s helped us advance in science and now we help him on his mission to wake everyone in the world from their petrification.”  “It all seems so strange...” I said, looking around. “I mean I can’t remember what a proper home looks like but I see everything you guys have built and something seems off.” “Ruri! I have Senku!” The blonde hair boy said, running down the street to us. Another man came following behind him. “You guys are early, is everything okay?” He asked. “Yes, we are okay. We’ve simply run into something we didn’t know how to deal with.” “What is it?” The man asked. He had brightly colored green hair. It stuck out like a sore thumb compared to everyone else I had seen so far with either blonde or black hair.  Ruri turned to me. “This is Emerald. At least, that’s what we’ve been calling her. One of the others we woke up said she has a disease called amnesia. We came as quick as we could so you can help her, Senku.” He turned to face me. His red eyes were glittering in the sunlight. They struck me as very stunning. He was slender yet strong and his features were quite attractive. He stood a head taller than me. In my assessment of him it took me a moment to realize he was staring sadly at me. “What...what’s wrong?” I asked, my cheeks flushing. “Your name isn’t Emerald...” he said to me. “Your name is Imogen.” “Senku, you know her?” Ruri said with a bright smile. He was quiet for a moment, still intently gazing at me.  “Ruri, come bring her to the lookout. I’ll be there in a second.” He said and quickly looked away as he took off somewhere into the village.  “He must have something to take care of. He’s very busy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him take a moment to rest.” Ruri said. “Come, I’ll take you to the lookout.” She said, offering her hand.  I took it and followed her out of the village to a small area just outside. A tall tower with a few smaller buildings around it sat in a little cluster together.  She pointed up to the tower. “That’s the lookout. This is where Senku comes to sleep at night. This building,” she pointed to the one on our right. “used to be his lab, now it’s the hospital. This is probably where he wants to meet you.” “How did he know my name?” I asked.  “I don’t know...I know Senku is very smart, maybe he remembers you from before.” “Before?” “The petrification.” Right, the weird green light I kept remembering. “Where is he?” “Sorry,” a voice said from behind us. We both turned. Senku was coming over from the village, another man in tow. He wore a plain brown tunic that was ripped on the end. “Taiju,” Ruri smiled. “I should’ve known you went to grab him. Will you be helping cure Emerald?” “Emerald?” The called Taiju asked. “Imogen.” Senku corrected. “Oh, right, you said that was her name.” Ruri laughed a bit at herself.   “Do you know me?” I asked, stepping in front. I was desperate. I didn’t want to feel empty.  This Senku guy was quiet and very serious. “Yes.” He said.  “Then help me.” I grabbed his tan tunic by the collar, my eyes were getting foggy as tears welled up. “Please,” I begged. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” His expression was as sorrowful as it was scared. He pulled me to his chest and hugged me tightly.  The tears that clouded my eyes fell down my cheeks, I didn’t care that I didn’t know who this strange man was, because he was hugging me and for a brief moment that hug made me feel less empty.  I cried into his chest and I felt a few tears hit my shoulder from him.  When he pulled away, however, his face showed no sign of crying or tears.  “Will you give Imogen the cure all drug?” Ruri asked hesitantly.  “I can’t.” Senku said.  “Why not?” Ruri gasped.  “Amnesia...” the other man started. “Can’t be cured by science.”

We had moved to the lookout tower and all of us were sitting in a circle in the room. Senku and Taiju, explained to me and Ruri what this amnesia was. He said even 3000 some odd years ago when technology was at its finest that amnesia still couldn’t be cured.  But he assured me that a good majority of the time it was reversible and most people who suffered from it could eventually recall 90% if not all of their lost memories.  “I’m sorry, Imogen.” Ruri said. “I had no idea, I didn’t mean to misinform you.” “It’s okay Ruri.” I said with a smile. “You’re still helping me.” I turned to Senku. “Will you help me? Remember my memories?” I asked.  Senku crossed his arms. “I suppose there are still things we could try. I can ask Gen if he knows hypnosis, that might help you.” “Oh that’s a good idea, Senku!” Taiju said. “I’ll go get him.” He took off down the tower and to the village before any of us could say anything.  Ruri laughed a bit. “I better go back to the village. Will you be alright, Imogen?” I nodded. “Yes, thank you.” I was grateful she left. I had a feeling Senku wouldn’t say much else unless we were alone. He seemed to care a lot about being a strong leader in front of others.  I waited until Ruri was at the bottom of the ladder. I was ready to ask him to be straight with me, tell me what the hell was going on. But when I looked at him...He was almost a different person. His eyes went soft and his shoulders slumped a bit. “I...I need you to tell me more,” I said. “Please tell me how you know my name.” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Before the petrification, we knew each other. At school.” “School?” I thought for a moment. “What’s that?” “It’s...uh,” I could tell the question threw him off a bit as he looked at me perplexed. “It’s a place where children and teens go to learn.” “Learn...what?” “Everything pretty much. Math, science. Languages, sports. Yeah, most everything you need to survive.” “So, what were we to each other?” I hesitantly asked. He was quiet and looked away. “It was...complicated.” “How was it complicated?” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “It’s hard to explain. I was an idiot I guess. You got mad at me.” “But...were we friends? Or...were we more?” “That’s...where it’s complicated.” He didn’t seem to want to give more. I frowned.  “Fine...tell me about something...some happy memories or something.” He scoffed. “Happy memories?” “What’s that’s supposed to mean? Are you telling me we had no happy memories or this you being an idiot like you mentioned earlier?” He sighed. “No...there are a lot of memories. Most of them happy.” “So tell me then. I don’t know anything about myself anymore...please.” He got up and strode across the floor to sit down next to me. I held his eyes the whole time. “Imogen...”

The way he said my name made butterflies erupt in my stomach that startled me. 

“I want to tell you...I...I want to wrap you up in my arms and talk your damn ear off about everything we’ve done together. But I can’t...our last conversation, just before the petrification...you were so mad at me you told me that you never wanted to talk again.” “I don’t know why I was mad but that seems a bit dramatic don't you think?” He chuckled. “Yeah...I said the same thing and that garnered a slap across my face from you.” I frowned. “Please don’t hold that against me...at this point I am not that same girl. I’m...I’m empty. I have no memories. Hell, at this point I’d say I have no past. If all this isn’t some weird dream, then it’s been 3000 plus years. I really have no hope of ever getting those memories back.” Senku got up again, this time with a sigh. He sat at the window with a telescope poking out of it and sat on the stool in front of it. His head was hung.  “By that logic...I’m completely different too.” He turned to look out the window. “I’m the leader of this village. I have to take care of them, I have to keep making the miracle fluid to save everyone who’s petrified. I’m completely full, Imogen.”  I clenched my jaw to keep from saying anything rash. The warmth that he gave me with that hug was now gone.  “Forgive me for bothering you, village leader.” I got up. “Let me leave you to your completely full and happy life.” “Wait, Imogen–“ “I won’t bother you again since you’re so busy.” I quickly descended the ladder and bumped into a man wearing a purple cloak type shirt as I turned around.  “Sorry.” I said, holding back my tears, and quickly walked away.  “Imogen!” I heard Senku call out again but I didn’t turn around.

********

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[radramblog]

Album Discussion: The Suburbs

Last week I felt like I didn’t have much time to pump an album review out. Was going to be in the lab all day, had work in the night, wanted to cover something quick. Then I finished really early, and had plenty of time in the afternoon to finish things off. This week I am in the same situation as far as scheduling, but someone’s bloody using equipment I need, so I’ve got a bit of extra time now. Time to talk about a >1hr 16 track record!

Also last week, I covered an album that I felt was more interesting from a meta level than it is musically. This week I’m talking about an album that I know nothing of the meta for.

The Suburbs I was reminded of recently. Mostly because I ran into the person who bought me the CD for the first time in like a year. I understand Arcade Fire have A Reputation as far as bands go, but the thing is: I have no idea what it is. I haven’t followed them at all, I don’t know whether they’re considered good or not, I haven’t even seen any of the music videos. I have never deliberately listened to an Arcade Fire song outside of this album.

But I do like this album. So.

Okay the one thing I do know is what the album is about. It’s about growing up in the suburbs of…I think Texas somewhere. I could look this up, but I refuse. The result of this is that the whole thing is intensely nostalgic, full of reminiscence and wistfulness, childhood innocence and what growing up is like. It’s one of those, you know? That does, however, make it fairly easy to like, because I think a lot of people are nostalgic for their childhoods.

(yeah so the only music videos for this one are at the very start and very end. this is going to be a bit of a wall of words.)

This is characterised by the opening track, which is also the album’s title track: The Suburbs. It’s opening with a very folksy acoustic guitar and piano, and longing for that childhood is its modus operandi. It is, however, tinged by the anxieties of that era- growing up in the shadow of the cold war is going to leave an impact on anyone, and that cultural climate is also going to be running through the album. I think the most poignant section of the song lyrically is the start of the third verse- wishing to become a parent, so they can live vicariously through their child, show them their childhood world before the reality and the memory are completely lost. Okay that’s kinda heavy moving on- the track is pretty much built around that piano/acoustic bit, sounding relatively upbeat but coloured by these lonesome strings running through the background. It’s very effective of conveying the feeling- which is something that comes up quite a bit over the course of the album. The Suburbs is one of my favourite tracks on this album, and having it come right at the front makes it a very solid stage-setter.

Track two is Ready to Start, a faster, rockier track with this grimy bassline running through the verses contrasting the relatively bright instrumentation of the chorus. Considering the themes of the song, about working for the man, dude, and trying to escape that sort of life, it’s fairly fitting, though it’s a very different sort of nostalgia than the previous track. The instrumentation gives the whole thing this sense urgency, which is enhanced by some of the lyrics- I mean the track is called Ready to Start, isn’t it. I feel like this song would be great to try and hype yourself up for something you don’t really want to do, and I’m not sure how many songs we have specifically for that feeling.

Our next song is called Modern Man, and it feels like tumbling through a confusing life. God, I’m really getting pensive today. I feel like this is a lot because this album resonates a lot more emotionally for me than musically. I’m someone with a very weird sense of nostalgia, seeing as my childhood is pretty effectively defined into three segments, and I tend to fixate on one of them because it’s The Weird One. I’m nostalgic for high school which is when I was nostalgic for living abroad which is when I was nostalgic for when I still lived in Perth, which I do now, but I don’t know anyone from back then, so there’s a whole sense of longing, and it’s something I’ve always had, and that’s funky. And I’m still young, this isn’t going to change, it’s going to get worse, and eghhhh I’m supposed to be talking about music. I don’t really have much to say about Modern Man, I guess. It’s aight, the previous two were better, but here I am 800 words into an album discussion, and I’ve gone through all of 3 songs on a 16 track album, so maybe expect this to be a slog.

Rococo at least makes an impact real quick, with fuckin psychotic strings right at the start that’s kind of a shock to the system, especially compared to the relatively mild instrumentation the rest of the song provides. I think that’s a fairly appropriate tone for a song about looking at #thecoolkids, bemusement tinged with utter stark bewilderment. I think I’m too young to really get this, I guess. The song’s title regards an art movement that sounds extremely pretentious and fake deep, frankly, but considering the point of the song is that you don’t bloody know what Rococo means, that’s probably also fitting. I kinda wish the strings were more present throughout the song than they were, they add this existential dread to the track that I do think the later sections are missing somewhat.

Speaking of strings, Empty Room is up next, and it’s one of my favourite tracks as well. It opens with the strings but they’re fast and energetic and they’re going to blow right past you. I thought this track was in like the second half of the album, but nope, here it is. This is also where the album’s second vocalist takes the lead for a bit (she only does for like 3 scattered tracks) and she’s genuinely great here. The songs chugs like an old train, in a way that reminds me a lot of other songs; in particular, the bit between the chorus and second verse (and chorus/outro) reminds me a lot of Teach me About Dying by Holy Holy- I can’t unhear “teach me about dying, teach me about dying-dying” over that instrumental. Despite its desolate lyricism, this song’s energy is genuinely excellent, and it carries really well through the whole thing. I can’t think of a lot of songs that start on this sort of tempo and have it run the whole way through- not to keep referencing other songs, but it’s very Go with the Flow by Queens of the Stone Age. And that’s like in the top 3 QotSA songs for me, so.

It’s only just struck me how much track 6, City With no Children, reminds me of There There by Radiohead. Its mostly the percussion, I think. That’s fucking high praise, but it’s also about as far as the comparison goes. The song is pretty okay outside of that, this theme of a town left lifeless by the commercialism and capitalism of the ultra-rich and what that does to people. Maybe that’s just my reading of it, I do have a bias for this sort of thing, but I challenge you to find another one. Looking on Genius is cheating. I do like the riff the track is built around, but it gets old eventually, since it doesn’t develop at all as the track progresses- lost potential, I suppose.

The next song is the first part of the album’s first of two two-parters, Half Light I, because apparently this one is trying to be a long-running drama show now. With that said, this ballad is kinda gorgeous, and yet also kinda extremely boring? Which is a frustrating place to be, frankly. I get the feeling this is an opinion that would get me crucified, but aside from those strings what fuck, the song just isn’t doing anything for me. Maybe it’s because it’s kinda almost the halfway point and I’m just getting tired, maybe it’s just a generational and cultural divide between America/Australia and 90s-00s/00s-10s and I don’t Get It. But I’m afraid to say this one doesn’t land.

Half Light II (No Celebration), for the record, is one I enjoy much more. The instrumentation is a lot more fun, the tone is a lot more pained (and y’all know I love me some angst), as the rose-tinted lenses of the previous half are replaced by the jade of someone growing up through the GFC (and just, in general). Despite being a two-part song, the halves are very different, a deliberate dichotomy representing two facets of that same look backwards. I feel like this isn’t like other two-part songs I’ve heard before, in that you can kinda appreciate the halves separately- or, in my case, one and not the other.

Track 9, and welcome more officially to the Second Half, with Suburban War. It’s very much about reminiscing about old friends, and I think I’m going to wax personal for a bit, because I have very little to say about the song musically. I mentioned earlier that I basically don’t know anyone from back when I was a kid, and that’s kind of a product of what my childhood looked like. It’s hard to have a “childhood friend” that you still keep up with when you spend 5 extremely crucial, defining years somewhere away from where all of them are. When you leave at 7 years old and don’t come back until you’re almost a teenager. People change so quickly at that age, and I’m no exception, and so I just didn’t have the ability to relate to those same people that long afterwards, even if I could find them. I don’t resent the experience of growing up in such a fractured manner, but it means I have a fundamentally different experience to that discussed in this album. At the same time, as I listen to the closing moments of this song, with the line repeated, “All my old friends, they don’t know me now”, I can’t help but notice the similarity. The writer’s friends don’t know them because they’ve grown up, changed fundamentally as people, whereas I don’t know my old friends in a much more literal sense.

Our next song is a bit more fun. Month of May is unequivocally a rock song, as opposed to the..indie? folk? of most of its surrounds. Much like Empty Room, it’s driven by its tempo and instrumentation, but it’s a bit less dour than that one, almost a bit oldie in its rock and roll swagger. The song isn’t so utterly different that it wouldn’t fit on the album, the traces of The Suburbs still roll through the whole thing, the same guitar and percussion tones driven up a couple notches on the ol’ Mohs scale. Quite solid, ultimately, in my opinion.

Track 11 is Wasted Hours. I think it’s a kind of appropriate title, not because it’s a waste of time, but because it just kinda feels like a nothing song as part of the album. Like, it is unquestionably Part Of The Album, sonically and thematically, but I deadass would not notice if it was missing from the record. Sorry if this one is your favourite, but this one isn’t for me.

Deep Blue, on the other hand, is the song that got me into the album. There’s really something about this track, this sense of discomfort with the passage of time, that really wormed its way into me. It’s a shockingly cold song for this acoustic instrumentation that’s usually associated with quite the opposite. The piano feels desperate, the guitars grim, and there’s actual synths hiding in here- the song relates to technology, after all. It’s concern for the future of humanity, of the youth, and for, well, the Suburbs, through the lens of watching that match between chess Grandmaster Kasparov and the A.I. Deep Blue in 1996. Go watch the Down the Rabbit Hole on that if you haven’t already (and have a few hours), by the way, it’s utterly excellent.

I can’t really describe how Deep Blue makes me feel. There’s just something about it. I feel like if I hear this song again in 10 years, it would genuinely bring me to tears- it feels like loss in a way, and not the meme.

We Used to Wait has a fun instrumentation, glittery piano and that funky guitar noodling in the background, but unfortunately the chorus kinda lets it down for me. I just do not care for it, it’s really built on a vocal line that really doesn’t track for me personally. Like, I’m just young enough that a lot of the theme of the track is utterly unrelatable to me- I hail from an era that is post- the change the track is referring to. I’m focussing a lot this time around about how the songs make me feel personally, but I think that’s kind of the appropriate tack for this album in particular- like the idea of nostalgic reminiscence is so inexorably tied to your own personal experiences that there’s no way around those experiences clouding your perception of this album, and with that, how well you end up liking it. I bet this whole thing hits way harder for someone born in the same couple years as this band.

We’re up to the second two-parter, Sprawl I (Flatland), kind of the finale for the whole thing. I mean, in I’s case, it’s certainly that emotionally. The song is so utterly down, it’s lost in the urban sprawl the title and lyrics describe, and with that comes a very quiet track. Moody strings and guitar, that eventually build during the fourth verse (there is no chorus and they’re short). It does eventually resolve on a more positive note, at least, one that’s hopefully relatable to many of us- eventually, we find our emotional home is, and it’s often not where we grew up.

Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains) is quite the different perspective. It’s got that other lead vocalist (I could look up her name but I won’t), it’s got a pulsing beat, and it has much more energy to work with. There are synths on this track that are absent from almost the entire rest of the album, but their introduction here, right at the end, is extremely cool. They’re cool, they’re clear, and they’re thematically relevant! I just really like the vibe of this track, and the way it trails off is similarly very good. Would recommend.

But of course there is one final track. Kind of. The Suburbs (continued) is basically a dark reprise of the album’s opener, shaded with more regret than that track is, more strings-y and whispered. It’s very short, but it acts as an appropriate closer for the whole thing.

And of course, that’s The Suburbs. In retrospect, I have a bit more mixed thoughts about this than I thought. There’s some really high highs, and some things that are just kind of bleh, but any album of this length is bound to have some misses. While I was browsing Genius to make sure I had the lyrics right for some tracks, I saw this record described as a Masterpiece, but I’m not sure that shoe fits- at least, not for me. The personal nature of this album, and anyone’s theoretical relationship with it, are such that I don’t think it can be given such a broad, universal title. I like the album as a whole quite a bit, but I personally wouldn’t call it a masterpiece.

It also doesn’t inspire me to go after more Arcade Fire. I’m actually perfectly content having them in my mind as this solitary piece, complete in its own way. Oh, they have like four other albums, but to me, Arcade Fire is The Suburbs. I don’t know why I’ve decided this, but it just works for me. So I’m sorry to any massive AF fans, but I did just dedicated 2.7k words to this album, so I’m sure you’re all satisfied.

God, next time I am going to have to cover something shorter, for my own sanity if nothing else.

[loverdrew]

Promise You Won’t Fall In Love With Me II

Part 1 

He never knew love. He never understood relationships. He never imagined his life after high school or outside of his fame. She was the opposite. She deeply loved her family, she had ambition, intelligence and drive. They were the complete opposite, but together, they wouldn’t know what to do without each other.

Inspired by the movie A Walk To Remember.

Ethan had come over to Y/N’s house the day after getting their roles, her father seeming practically disgusted by him as he sat in the living room awaiting her. Her father stared him down with crossed arms.

“You know Ethan, I know you’ll be spending some time with my daughter because of this play but that doesn’t mean I particularly like it.” Ethan kept his gaze on the ground. “I see you, I hear of you, I watch you at church, you’re not meant for my daughter, so think before you act when you’re around her.”

“Yes sir.” He gulped. He and her father heard footsteps descending down the staircase and both looked away from each other, her father walking away into the kitchen. Y/N gave a slight smile and looked to Ethan.

“Ready?”

The big night, the play’s opening. Everyone had been working so hard to make it a fun filled nostalgic play. Even Ethan surprisingly. He was scared of course, since all of his friends were in the crowd tonight sitting front row with their phones out to video tape his probably horrid performance. He was shaking backstage, holding onto his fake fur around his body and looked like he might even rip it off. His breath hollowed and barely coming out as he stared at the floor. Y/N noticed and shyly walked over in her first costume, the white and blue dress with her hair tied back in a low ponytail. Ethan felt her warmth radiating onto him and looked up, but instead of saying anything, he just took his bottled water and drank half of it.

“It’s always nerve-wrecking before your first show. Totally normal.” She tried to make small talk.

“But you don’t know my friends, they think it’s ‘so hilarious’ that I had to do this as punishment.”

“I’ve seen what you’ve become, don’t be so hard on yourself if things don’t go smoothly tonight.” She patted his shoulder with a thin smile and took her place behind the curtain as the lights dimmed down getting ready to start the show.

Y/N and Ethan had been meeting up with each other at her house after school so much that it became a routine and Y/N expected him to be at her front door at the same time every day. Their relationship became easier somehow, more relaxed and Ethan began to loosen up whenever it was just them two. It almost seemed like a real friendship. They laughed together when one of them messed up, they talked about things other than the play, and sometimes cut practice short and just hung out together in the living room talking about anything that came to mind. Y/N found her stomach getting tense when he rang the doorbell and her cheeks getting flushed when he looked directly into her eyes. She never showed it though, telling herself she couldn’t get attached under any circumstances. It’s not that she didn’t like Ethan or anything, but only if he knew why. He definitely doesn’t deserve to know and would cut her off so quick if he found out.

Ethan too found his palms sweating before she even opened the door and his voice cracking at the beginning of every practice. Was it nerves? Sure. Was he scared of her, someone that has done this before, making fun of him if he messed up? Of course. But was he also acting this way because some part of him liked being here for more reasons than just getting away from his everyday life? …He doesn’t quite know. Y/N had a certain soothing quality to her voice that made it hard for him to leave her house at 7 pm after their practice. He secretly wished she would ask him to stay for dinner, but he knew with confidence her father would never accept it, so he had no choice but to leave. Ethan still practiced at home in his room by himself. In a hushed voice he’d go over songs and scenes he knew he had more lines than others. His views on theatre drastically changed during his times by himself, cursing at how hard it actually was, and all this time he assumed sports were the top tier of pain, but theatre was so different. When he got down even a line or two it made him feel way more accomplished than any sport ever had. He even began focusing on his classes as well, putting more hours into his assignments and papers than anything else, sometimes leaving football practice early to do so. He withheld tests from his friends that pestered him, as they asked how he did on a certain geometry test, saying he got a D, when in fact he got a 90%. Of course, none of his friends could know that. Y/N saw from the other side of the classroom how his face lit up at the white piece of paper, but how it disappeared so quickly as he stuffed it into his backpack. Y/N knew that look all too well, her heart filled with joy for him. She was intrigued as to why he all of a sudden was trying in school but never pried, knowing her place in his life. She was just his leading lady on stage, a fictional role she so wished to fill.

It was the scene everyone was waiting for, the infamous slow dancing scene with the beautiful fluffy yellow dress that made Ethan swallow hard when he saw her on the other side of the stage from behind the curtain. He tried to snap himself out of it, picturing all of the other much sexier girls he had gotten with, but still nothing compared to how she looked now. Curled hair, the dress that hugged her just perfectly. He didn’t want to admit that he was strongly attracted to her at this moment, but who was he kidding, everyone in the crowd would be too if they were in his shoes.

He heard the music begin and both emerged from backstage looking straight at each other, a genuine smiling upon both of their faces. Y/N acknowledged that Ethan was attractive, for as long as she could remember, but tonight it stood out to her and practically slammed her against the wall without warning. Even as a beast, he was the most handsome guy in the room. However, this was strictly for the play, so she calmed down her thoughts, and did what she had to do; slow dance.

As both started to dance, Ethan’s eyes couldn’t break from hers. Something about the way the stage lighting made her brown eyes seem ever lighter than his hazel ones, even though she had eyes as dark as night, tugged at his heart strings. Her lashes fluttered like Bambi, her lips wore pink that made them look full and plump. They somehow moved closer, and Y/N could feel his breath on her forehead. She didn’t dare look up and get lost in his features, scanning over every perfect crevice he possessed. She picked up on his stare and wondered if it meant more than that. She remembered all the times he picked on her with his friends, made her feel like she was lower class than him and ignored her when she tried to talk to him. Ethan Dolan was a bully and only cared for himself, could he ever actually care for another?

It was a week before opening night, and Y/N thought it would be a good idea to ask Ethan to practice an hour earlier this week to really prepare. She walked over to him and his friends holding a book close to her chest, making direct contact with Ethan.

“Hey Ethan. I was thinking we’d practice for the play earlier today than usual since the play is next week, what do you think?”

They all gave her weird looks, whispering to each other asking why she was even talking to them. She hugged the book closer to his chest in intimidation.

“I think…you should get lost.” He said plainly, only looking up at her for a split second before looking back at his phone uninterested. His friends all laughed with wide mouths at his comment and demeanor, scuffing at her.

Y/N got the hint and simply nodded before scurrying off to her locker. Her cheeks flushed and she felt like she could cry, but every time she felt the need to, she just remembered what her mother use to tell her: they can’t hurt you if you don’t let them.

It had always been that way between the two. Y/N constantly trying to be friends with him, even with the most unlikely people, and them shutting her down. She was never good at it for some reason. She always blamed it on herself rather than the people around her. Even when she says hi to people, they practically tell her nobody wants her here and leave it at that. She believed it partly, but as long as she had her father that’s all she needed. He took care of her once her mom passed away and was her best friend. Family meant way more to her anyway.

Ethan suddenly was flooded with memories of when he’d bump Y/N into lockers for fun, call her trash as he walked by her locker, and even dumped her books and bag into the trashcan during lunch. She never cried or said a word, but he could always tell she was hurting. In the moment, when he was with all of his friends, he didn’t care, the laughter of other students around that praised him mattered. She never did anything wrong to him, she was always nice to him and helped him when he needed it, especially recently. And with the way she looked tonight he couldn’t help but suddenly feel a wave of regret, wanting to somehow make it up to her.

As the music died out and the lights dimmed into a single spotlight on the pair, the audience sat in anticipation. Time stood still, when he quickly leaned in for a soft lingering kiss on her lips. He couldn’t allow himself to go further. He slightly leaning in before pulled away to look at her expression; a look of horror and confusion flowing from her eyes. Her mouth laid agape, instantly freezing up as a kiss was NOT a part of the play. Ethan could feel his friends staring daggers at him on stage, and it didn’t help that Ethan’s ex-fling sat directly in the middle of the front row, crushing her playbill in her hands. For more than a few seconds you could only hear the high buzzing noise in the atmosphere, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Y/N and Ethan didn’t know what to do next other than the lines for the ending of the play, but after that kiss each time either of them spoke they either stuttered or took too long to think of what to say, confused faces on everyone in the theatre, even their teacher.

The play ended and many people came up to the prince of the night, for taking on this character so seriously and delivering a great performance. His mom, brother and sister were among the last to see him since he was bombarded by people after the show.

“Honey! You did so great, what a transformation.” His mother burst with pride.

“Yea bro, not bad, I was thoroughly impressed.” His sister gave him a side hug and playful asked him to sign her playbill. Grayson, even though just as mean as Ethan, gave his brother a bro-handshake, congratulating him and saying he actually liked the play as a whole, even though it was the ONLY play he had ever attended at school. They all waved goodbye to him, going home for a late dinner. Ethan said he would see them at home but said he had to do something before leaving. He was going to find her, explain to her his sudden choice to kiss her and find out how she felt. But about 30 minutes later, after surfing through a sea of people to find his Belle, he realized she had left as soon as the curtain closed.

The next day at school wasn’t all that much better. Ethan’s friends constantly mocked him and some of the lines he said that made them laugh. He didn’t pay any mind to it, as his mind was stuck on finding her. He had finally stumbled upon her during lunch, sat at her usually table all by herself by the back window, reading a book they were assigned in English class. Ethan strolled up to her and sat down with a slight smile directed at her. She, however, was too preoccupied with ignoring him that she huffed at his presence then took a sip of her drink.

“Hey Y/N, uhm…what are you reading?” He asked shyly, the roles becoming reversed.

“Is this your way of small talk Dolan?” She spat.

“I’m just trying to be nice for once to you Y/N, you didn’t deserve my bullying, you were always so nice and helpful.” He pleaded with her.

“The play is over, okay? You don’t have to kiss my ass anymore, literally.” She whispered the last part, eyes still not daring to look up at him.

“Look, over these past few months I’ve done so much more good than bad, and it was all because of you. You’ve helped change me Y/N. I like you, okay?”

“I think that’s a bunch of bull.” Her eyes quickly darted to his, giving him a look of ‘go the fuck away now’.

“Which part of all that?” He said angrily.

“All of it!”

“But it’s not!” Some people sitting around them looked up, practically puking at the fact that the schools most loved senior was talking, let alone sitting, with the garbage that was Y/N.

“Then prove it.” She said calmly, picking up her school bag and walking out entirely.

Ethan called out for her until they reached the front steps of the school, fast walking to keep up with her and shouting her name.

“Y/N! C’mon Y/N please hear me out!”

“Ethan what did I tell you! I told you not to like me!” She nearly cried out, smashing her fists onto his chest in frustration.

“You know what? I’ve figured you out. Now I know why you told me that 3 months ago.” He said, getting into her face.

“Oh yea and why’s that?” She cocked her head.

“Because you’re scared someone might actually like you for you and want to be with you. Then, you wouldn’t be able to hide away behind your books, your church choir or your clothing choices.” She stood there still, a comeback not in her grasp as she knew he was right. She hid behind the non-constricting dresses and sweaters she wore, behind the books that gave her a new reality, and her church choir; where even though she had solos all of the time, she stood in the back behind a guy just a few inches taller than her. Y/N tried to free herself from Ethan before he tugged back on her to look at him.

“No, you want to know the real reason you’re scared? It’s because you want to be with me too.” She quietly gasped, was it obvious? Was it seen in plain sight that Y/N was head over heels for the once bad boy that made her cry? Without another word she gets into her car and slams the door, laying her head on her steering wheel keeping her from crying as Ethan watched. He told himself to give her space and time, maybe it was all too much for her to take in. He was the first to kiss her, the first to confess his feelings to her. If only he had told her before how he had always liked her secretly deep down inside, how things could’ve been so different. If only he could tell her he knew more about her than he led on and loved every little part. But they come from different edges, pointing in different directions. And Ethan didn’t know where to start when it came to telling her just how strongly he felt for her.

[honeymoonjin]

tumble dry - jimin x reader smut

A/N: requested by the lovely @itishebihime-samaforyou who wanted some more jimin thighs in their life x When Jimin overhears you confessing your desire to ride his thighs, he makes you a deal. Warnings for explicitly sexual content: thigh riding, orgasm control. 1.6k words. (Sorry, I couldn’t find a better landscape gif of Jimin’s thighs)

“I just don’t get the big deal, that’s all.”

You sigh and turn around to where Jungkook is crouched on the floor messing with the dials on the laundry machine. “Well, of course you don’t. It’s a vagina thing. I mean, I’m sure you’d get some enjoyment out of it, but-”

“That’s not what I mean,” he cuts in, finally setting the cycle and standing back up. “Why would you bother humping him when you can just fuck him? Seems like eating the ham and cheese pizza when meat lovers is on the table.”

You frown at the strange metaphor, letting Jungkook come over and help you fold up the mountain of clean clothes between you. “It’s not like I’d turn down proper sex to ride his thigh, but as far as foreplay goes, I bet it’d feel fucking amazing.” You exhale dreamily. “Ugh, and he’d clench his muscles while I was going at it. Girls are lucky; we get so many more advantages in bed compared to guys. I feel bad for you, Kook, really, I do.”

“You don’t have a dick, though,” he points out.

“We live in a world where strap-ons exist, Jungkook. Although I don’t know if Jimin- actually, you just gave me a brilliant idea. Thanks, Kook.”

He winces and shifts his hips uncomfortably. “God, thank fuck you’re not my girlfriend. You’re into some weird shit. And that’s coming from me.”

You wave him off, starting on the daunting task of pairing up the hill of nearly-identical black men’s socks. God, you never should’ve offered to help out with the laundry for the dorm. “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it, you know. Besides, the only reason I’m being so filthy today is because I’m a little sexually frustrated. Jimin and I haven’t had sex since Tuesday night, and I don’t think I can make it until his day off this Sunday.”

Jungkook freezes, his hands hovering in the air over a pair of jeans. “You two stayed over Tuesday night.”

“…yeah.”

“And Hoseok sleeps in the same room as Jimin.”

You smile innocently at his wide eyes. “Oh, I don’t think Hobi minded much,” you purr suggestively. The younger boy chokes. “He was asleep, Jungkook, I’m just messing with you.”

Jungkook winces and finishes folding the jeans, dumping them on the appropriate pile. “Well, I sincerely hope Jimin lets you ride his thigh tonight because I hate horny-Y/n. She’s a menace to civil society.”

You open your mouth to retort him, but a familiar voice comes from the open door. “You want to ride my what?”

The pair of you freeze as Jimin leans against the doorframe, arms crossed although he doesn’t look particularly threatening in his baggy green sweater. What does cause you to swallow hard is the topic of current conversation; his thighs. He’s wearing his favorite pair of black leather pants, the ones with cuts across the front. These were the pants that were meant to make an appearance at one of his concerts last year but was rejected for exposing too much skin. You felt yourself clench and cleared your throat to distract from the need beginning to light up inside of you.

“We were having a private conversation, Jiminie.”

“Clearly. If you want something, baby, you should come to me about it instead of my dongsaeng. Don’t you feel like you can trust me?”

Jungkook holds his palms up in surrender. “Okay, fuck this, I’m out of here. Lock the door behind you so nobody has to walk in on you fucking in the laundry, please.” He does his best to avoid touching Jimin’s frame at all as he squeezes out the doorway and scampers down the hallway out of sight.

Without breaking the intense eye-contact he had initiated with you, Jimin reached behind him and shut the door, twisting the lock just like he had been instructed. The satisfying thwack as it fell into place sent shivers up your spine. “Jimin,” you breathe desperately.

“What does my good girl want, hm? Is my cock not good enough for you?”

You shake your head, backing up until your ass pressed against the edge of the table. “It’s not that, Jimin. I just think it would be something different, that’s all.”

He strolls forward, grinning at the way your eyes can’t help but flicker down to the powerful muscles in his legs flexing as he approaches you, loudly dragging the wooden laundry hamper across the floor to the middle of the room, sitting down on it with spread legs. He spreads his arms out in a welcoming gesture. “Come sit, baby girl.”

Your panties immediately dampen, and you reflexively swallow again. “Really?”

He smiles, eyes narrowing into half-moon crescents, and nods pleasantly. “Of course, Y/n. What my girl wants, she gets.”

You can’t help but feel that there’s a catch, but you walk over hesitantly anyway. Just as you approach, he lifts a finger. “Nuh uh, pants and shirt off.”

You hastily tug your tank top off, unbutton your jeans and kick them away, before sitting yourself down on his left thigh, high up enough that your breasts press against his arm and chest. You wait patiently for him to give you another command, and he smiles again at your submissiveness.

“Now,” he begins softly, kneading a breast gently, rolling the nipple so that it hardens underneath the thin lace of your bra. You tip your head back in bliss, wishing he had let you remove the bra too. “I must admit, I don’t quite understand why you would enjoy it, but if you do, then I’m happy to let you ride my thigh. However, you need to prove to me that you do enjoy it. If you don’t cum in the next five minutes, you never get to rub that pretty pussy of yours against my thigh again.” He breaks his gaze and stares at the wall clock behind you with an almost-bored look on his face. “Time’s ticking, baby girl. You better get a move on.”

You gasp, but obediently begin rolling your hips against him, breath stuttering every time your clit catches on the edge of one of those cuts. You brace yourself on his shoulders, and squeeze your eyes shut in concentration as you let the pleasure and arousal at the situation overtake you.

It really feels divine, but it’s no use if you don’t get yourself over the edge quickly. “Four minutes,” Jimin whispers sultrily, licking his lips at the sight of you.

You shudder and arch your back when he slides his hands around your back and unclips your bra, gently letting it fall, straps dangling on your wrists. He takes the invitation and rubs his rough thumbs teasingly over your stiff peaks, enough to set your nerves alight. “Please,” you beg, never letting up on your desperate thrusts against him.

Something inside you feels satisfied on a base level to be rutting against him like this. Normally, as a female with a vagina, the other party does all the work for you, and you just enjoy what comes your way, but now you were soaking through your panties, chasing friction and taking what you wanted.

“Two minutes,” he reminded you in a sing-song voice, breaking off into a chuckle at the way you hang your head to grind against him with more force. The edge was certainly almost there, but time was running out at an alarming pace. “Ple-ease,” you repeat brokenly.

“Please what? 90 seconds.”

“Touch me,” you plead.

He tuts, and you open your eyes blearily, hips slightly slowing as you watch him frown at you. “If you need me to touch you, then clearly just riding my thigh isn’t good enough. It’s a shame; you look so fucking hot, dripping all over me as you defile yourself on my leg like a dog.”

You moan out desperately and pick up the pace, almost sobbing when he announces thirthy seconds. “No, no, just…ah, just tense up for me, Jiminie,” you chant, “just clench your thigh muscles, that’s all, I’m so close.”

When he finally does what you say, the more solid surface of corded muscle pitches you over the edge without warning. You tuck your chin on his shoulder and jerk your hips unevenly, chasing all the pleasure of your orgasm you can get until you’re completely spent.

Jimin reaches up with a ring-clad hand and runs his fingers through your hair as you lie boneless against him.

He makes gentle shushing noises, soothing you as the final shocks of pleasure judder through your body. “That’s it, baby, let it all go, just relax. My good girl, you did so well, baby. So good for me.”

You pant blissfully and try to catch your breath, stunned at how much of a workout it really is. “Thank you, Jiminie.”

“Mm, sit up, doll.” You do as he says, and he gently turns your head so that you’re staring at the wall behind you, the clock still ticking away. “I lied. You still had over a minute left.”

You whip your head around. “Hey!”

“What? That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen; you’ve never looked so desperate before.”

You bat at him weakly. “So, I won the challenge? I can ride your thigh again?”

“Of course, baby. Even if you didn’t win, do you really think I could deny you anything?”

You smile softly, but it turns mischievous. “Anything? Because Jungkook brought up an interesting idea earlier…”

[theritualofourexistence]

Odes to Old Gods

I started this year intending to journal about things I survive. Then at the end of the year, I could look back on my challenges and think about them in a more positive way--wow, look at what I overcame! The plan was to document everything, both good and bad, so that I could think about them more as experiences and lessons learned than as... good and bad. 

Needless to say, I stopped keeping track of those things in April. 

Earlier this month, I pulled out the journal again to update the list. I ended up quitting on that too. 

I do think, though, that in a less chaotic year, thinking about my life this way would be good practice. So, here I am, sharing my list with you in the form of an end-of-year, wrap-up blog post. 

A few quick caveats: 

This year was hard for literally everyone except maybe Jeff Bezos. 

It is not healthy to compare challenges or struggles or suffering.

I am not sharing this because I am looking for sympathy... I believe that being vulnerable is a very important part of the human experience but we can all also use a reminder that we never really know all of what anyone is experiencing. We shouldn’t need that reminder to treat others with love... but the older I get, the more I think those reminders might be necessary.

Things I have survived in 2020:

- A bit of a stalking experience in January which has since been resolved.

- Losing my job, hunting for a new job, securing a new job, training for the new job.

- My first Harry Potter tattoo for my ten-year tattooiversary.

- The fires in Australia.

- An absolutely wonderful trip to NYC with my dad when I got to see both Beetlejuice and Hadestown and have an enormous strawberry cheesecake milkshake from Junior’s. 

- Losing Kobe Bryant.

- Parasite absolutely CRUSHING the Oscars.

- Having a really, really good visit with my grandparents in March before all hell broke loose. 

- Weinstein being convicted and sentenced.

[Everything after this point happened during a global pandemic.]

- Losing Grandmom. I was unable to attend her funeral and still have not had the chance to grieve this loss with my extended family. 

- Losing my health insurance.

- A Zoom party for my Grammy’s 80th birthday.

- Losing Breonna Taylor. And George Floyd. And so, so many others. This is the first year I have really committed to understanding the current race-related issues this country faces and BOY, do we have work to do.

- The stress but success of orchestrating a safe family trip so that I didn’t have to go an entire year without seeing my brother.

- Losing my shifts at my primary job due to virus-related concerns.

- Countless other family happy birthdays over Zoom.

- My 60-year-old mother returning to work face-to-face with a student population that largely ignores all virus-related guidelines despite her working tirelessly for months this spring to offer UHS providers an adequate work-from-home option. 

- Being diagnosed with hypertension.

- A nightmarish friend trip. Despite our best laid plans for a safe and healthy visit, Mother Earth decided to trap me 90 miles north of my best friends for 4 days. I eventually got to see them for about 12 hours and honestly, it was worth it. That is the only time I’ve gotten with them all year.

- Losing Ruth Bader Ginsberg.

- The selection of Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court.

- Our sweet girl Clio being diagnosed with a seizure disorder and then coming down with a life-threatening upper respiratory infection. 

- Learning that my grandmother would be voting for Trump in the 2020 election.

- The actual election.

- Losing Rooster, my sweet, sweet boy.

- Learning that my uncle has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer.

- Missing Thanksgiving with my extended family.

- Getting really excellent holiday gifts for my favorite people.

- Missing Christmas with my extended family.

- Safely spending some holiday time with my immediate family.

That is FAR from everything. But I don’t have the energy? Capacity? Time? to sort through everything.

Here are the things from this year that I am still currently surviving:

- A global pandemic! And all the associated chaos. With my asthma and high blood pressure and obesity, I am considered high risk and am still not able to safely return to my primary job. 

- Hypertension! More on this later.

- Grieving Rooster. In the days after we said goodbye, I wrote a memorial that I will eventually share here. Psychology has recently analyzed data suggesting that losing a pet can be equivalent to losing a relative... I have never felt grief like this. It’s been over a month. I cry every night. 

- Managing Clio’s health. She is still adjusting to her seizure medication, which she gets twice a day, and is still on medication to help with lasting symptoms of the respiratory infection. She is fussy about food and her weight fluctuates a lot week to week. She is also a feral rescue who has only ever been handled by me, my mom, and our vet. If mom and I are ever going to vacation together again, we will need to find someone who can manage catching and pilling her twice a day... no easy feat. Fortunately, at the moment, vacations aren’t really a thing for either my mom or I and I am working hard to approach these concerns in a cross-that-bridge-when-we-come-to-it way.

----

This year has been overwhelming. The last two months alone have been overwhelming. And they would’ve been overwhelming without the added spice of a global pandemic. The number of Americans we have lost to this virus has doubled since I last posted here in mid-August. Some time this week we are likely to reach a point where we’re losing 4,000 Americans per day. PER. DAY. This year has been overwhelming.

----

There were some good things this year, of course. I am so, so thankful for all the time I got with my immediate family and the very brief but vital time I got with my friends. Fortunately I am only ever a text away from my closest friends and we are able to message pretty much every day. I am also extremely glad to have found a place in the fantasy enamel pin community. The family I’ve found in pin-land has carried me through some of my lowest points this year. I spent more time in view of the ocean than I typically do in a given year... even though much of that time was still riddled with anxiety. I did art this year. I read books this year. Some really important ones, in fact. If you read nothing else in 2021, read The New Jim Crow. I also got tattooed! I’m going to include those here because I think the significance of each reflects something interesting and important about all I have survived and am surviving this year.

----

In January, I got my first Harry Potter tattoo! My favorite quote from the entire series is delivered by Hagrid during the Triwizard tournament:

”What’s comin’ will come, and we’ll meet it when it does.” 

I got that incorporated into a tattoo. In January. 

Also in January I got a “Prisoner of Donuts” tattoo... because life just wouldn’t be manageable at all without donuts.

In March, I got a bird of prey carrying a book to represent one of my all time favorite poems, “On Thought in Harness” by Edna St. Vincent Millay. The final lines of that poem:

“Soar, eat ether, see what has never been seen. Depart, be lost, but climb.” 

In July, I was able to safely navigate getting a tattoo that symbolizes the saga told in The Lord of the Rings trilogy. LOTR is my first and oldest fandom and the story is still so, so important to me today. The lessons I learned from Tolkien when I was a kid also carried me through some of my hardest moments this year.

Also in July I got a Plumpy tattoo. That���s right. Plumpy. From Candyland. If you haven’t played the game in a while, you may not remember Plumpy. He’s one of the first characters you meet on the game board... and one of the worst cards to see when you’re close to winning the game. You could be three damn squares from the finish line and pull the Plumpy card and back to the beginning of the board you go. Plumpy is a really great reminder that even when we have no choice but to lose ground, we can gain that ground back again. And hey, once you pull the Plumpy card from the deck, you likely won’t see him again for a good long while. 

In October, I was able to safely navigate getting my second Harry Potter tattoo. Neville has always been one of my favorite fantasy characters and I chose to carry him with me permanently. His courage, despite so, so much bullshit, inspires me every day. I also got a nautical tattoo for my mom’s ancestors who came to this country and fought in the Revolutionary War. Just as my family has a long and proud history of fighting for what matters, I too will carry that banner, even if it looks very, very different in the modern age. My third tattoo of the appointment is a cuckoo holding playing cards, a nod to one of most important stories I’ve read: Ken Kesey’s “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.” This book has informed not just my personal journey with mental illness but my passion to work in the field as well. My final tattoo of my October appointment, less than a week before the 2020 election, is a weeping Lady Justice. 

----

This year has made me look critically at things I very comfortably ignored for a long time. I would hope that it has done the same for most of you. Very little if any of this year was easy for me... but the most important lessons are never easy to learn. I’ve spent this year more worried and more angry than I’ve ever been before... and all I hope to do moving forward is use that fear and that anger to make this country, this world, a better place. Miss me with your resolutions this year. Every single day we should prioritize surviving and treating others with understanding and active love. I worked hard to do that this year and I will continue to work hard to do that every day. I’m proud of the work I’ve done. And in case it wasn’t clear, I’ll be dragging as many of you as I can on this journey with me. If you really feel the need to make a resolution this year, resolve to learn. Resolve to understand. Resolve to read The New Jim Crow and then TAKE ACTION. Take action with your votes and your voices and your money. Resolve to act.

----

This year wouldn’t let me escape it without being put on blood pressure medication, despite my best efforts to lower my blood pressure without it. Although I had gotten back down into a healthy range for a few weeks, RBG’s death and the landslide of utter shit that followed that completely wrecked all the progress I had made. I’m not happy about adding a new medicine to my regimen. I’m not happy about adding a new chronic diagnosis to my already lengthy laundry list. I did not expect 30 to look like allergy pills and three daily moisturizers and foot stretches and Metamucil and acid reducers and migraine medication and iron supplements and six prunes a day and chronic pain and blood pressure medication... but here we are. I’m exhausted from working so hard to be healthy just to have all that work not be enough. I feel very much like my body is giving up on me... and that is a feeling I am struggling with a lot right now. My soul is a vibrant but powerless passenger in a car speeding towards the edge of a cliff.

I’ll keep trying though. I start my new medication tonight. Hopefully it helps. Hopefully the side effects are manageable. I don’t really feel like I can handle much more... but I guess we keep going until we can’t.   

----

I have no expectations for 2021 to be better. I don’t have much hope for it to be better either. This vaccine will saves lives and that’s really good news. But a lot of other things will be difficult, will stay difficult, will become difficult. I’m going to try to keep fighting, and I hope you do too. 

“What’s comin’ will come, and we’ll meet it when it does.” 

[blackcatanna]

Okita's Route Part 2: Still on Kyoto Winds because I didn't realise that I'd ramble so much

Predictably, I'm enjoying Okita's route a lot more than Kazama's. Also, I'm skipping a lot less than when I played Kazama and Iba's routes, which makes a lot of sense because Okita is actually in the Shinsengumi and, therefore, gets a lot of screen time. So far, he acts like an asshole but this isn't backed up by his actions. Apart from the casual child cruelty X_X

Chapter, uh, 3? I think...

I feel like Hijikata sticking up for Sanan is just making things worse X_X . Saying that he's not useless because he's a swordsman is just plain wrong. It makes it seem like he's just saying it out of pity. I'm sure that Sanan has plenty to contribute, besides slicing people up.

"Sanan is quite the beloved member here, isn't he? It's nice to see such a tight-knit group." -_- Itou is such a master of shade. Gently implying that they only keep Sanan around because of their relationship. You evil bitch X_X

"Ugh, who brought those bastards into the Shinsengumi?" RIGHT?! Glad to see that Okita's not blindly following Kondou's lead here.

"He is easily deceived by silver tongues, those who appear virtuous... but are real scumbags." As the great Roisin Conaty once said: "Charming is just lube for evil." However, this is kind of backing up what those asshole kids were saying earlier about Kondou being an idiot X_X

SNOOP SNOOP 👀

AH! OKITA CAUGHT ME TALKING TO MYSELF! AGAIN X_X

"Trying to run away behind our backs." -_- You know that's not true.

"Heh, I'm just messing with you." No shit. "I mean, unless you were escaping, then I'll slit your throat." -_- You just couldn't resist the opportunity to throw out another casual death threat, could you?

Is he worried about my safety? I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO BE FLIPPANT BUT I SEE THROUGH YOU.

"Good girl." -_-

"It sounded like something out of a fairy tale." Oooooooooh hooooooneeeey... Have you not been paying attention?!

Welp, Okita told me to scream so... AAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Oh, apparently, not that... OKITAAAAA! Bet he loved that.

"Aaaaaaaaaaagh!" Everyone, please stop screaming.

Ngl, Sanan looks good with white hair.

Apparently, Okita likes hearing me screaming his name... Good to know...

"Don't worry your little head. It would be my pleasure to help you die." O_O ... Isn't that a little hasty!?!

"You're not serious, are you?" HONEY X_X

"It's really annoying, you know. You think you're part of the Shinsengumi?" </3 Ouch X_X You're the ones who took me prisoner, y'know? However, Chizuru does often act like she's the only one who cares about the Shinsengumi members, which must be annoying af.

"We only keep you alive because you're useful. You are NOT one of us." Uh... Thanks for calling me useful? But is that seriously your attitude? Anyone who's not useful to you should just die? -_-

"His words shattered my already breaking heart." Aw! </3 Poor Chizuru bae!

"Seriously... You can really be a pain, you know that?" RIGHT. BACK. AT. YOU.

"It'd be easier to just kill you," Broken record much?

"Had their last thoughts as men been hope they might survive the madness? It sounded horrible..." YUUUP.

"Sano! Make something up!" Definite DnD vibes again! When you make the low charisma character roll deception X_X

"You're a miserable actor. Keep your mouth shut." I'm sure that this exchange won't seem suspect at all X_X

"Oh, Sanan... Who cares what you are? You're alive!" Bless Kondou's pure and simple heart :')

"Yukimura, you go back to your room. I know you didn't sleep much." Why am I the only person in this game who requires sleep? -_- Just a trend I've noticed...

"*Cough* *Cough*" O_O OKITA, ARE YOU OKAY!??? O_O

"You owe us a lil' booze! Or maybe even, heh, a little... company?" WHERE'S OKITA'S MURDEROUS INSTINCT WHEN YOU NEED IT!?!?

"Suddenly I felt a hand on my arm." BWOOOOOOAAAARP!!! PHYSICAL CONTACT ALARM!!!

"Calm down, kid." ... NO. I HAVEN'T BEEN TOUCHED IN MONTHS.

"Hey hey hey! Looks like she's got the hots for you, Souji!" Oh Heisuke X_X

"No matter what, I won't buy Ishida Medical Powder." XD Got to admire Okita for staying true to his convictions :')

"I'm using the hell out of you" O_o Calm down, Hijikata X_X

Guess I'm going to have to put stalking Okita on hold for now...

Harada and Shiranui should just kiss already.

""Huh? Chizuru?" Okita looked up from cleaning his sword as I entered the hall." OH, HE WAS POLISHING HIS SWORD, EH? ;P YES, I AM TWELVE. Tbf, his face really does look like he's been caught in the act...

"Oh shut up, will you? It's all your fault. The medicine you gave me totally doesn't w..." >:( I'm hoping that the reason that sentence trails off is because I give him a verbal smack down!!

"*Cough* *Cough*" O_O WELL, I GUESS NOW I CAN'T CALL HIM A CUNT!

BLOOD O_O

"It's nothing." ... BOI!!

This game is totally a forcing-stubborn-men-to-rest simulator X_X

"I'd been given instructions to stay away" from the physical examinations but ho's gotta ho', amirite?!

"Oh my... So you WANT to see those savages? What peculiar taste..." Itou, don't call me out like this. Although, I still feel like we should respect their privacy X_X

"Oh! Oh..." ALRIGHT, YOU THIRSTY BITCH, CALM DOWN.

*Camera zooms in on Nagakura's tiddies* -_-

"Your body's fine, Shin." - Heisuke.

"Don't you wanna order a slice of this beef cake? I got two meaty servings on a plate, right here." Aaaaaagh! X_X My eeeeyyyeees.... Can't... un-read... sentence... please... fetch.... brain... bleach...

"A medical exam is for finding problems, not showing off. Now move." PREACH, SAITO!!!

"I feel like it's rude to intrude..." AND YET HERE WE ARE X_X

"It grants immortality" ??? Except for the part where you turn to ash???

"You're forcing your body in ways the eyes can't see." LISTEN TO THE DOCTOR, GUYS!!!

Everyone's just... RIPPING Takeda to shreds XD

"I'm scared shitless, believe me." :'( Poor Okita

No smart comments here... this is just really sad :'(

He's seen me? It's been nice knowing y'all...

Finally, Chizuru calls out Okita for threatening to kill her so much.

"Desist, you hooligans!" Sen is such a Queen! I want a Sen route!

Chizuru and Sen standing up to these arseholes is giving me LIFE! :') PREACH, GIRLS, PREACH!!!

"What were you going to do if they hurt you gravely?" Regenerate, biatch! >:)

"C'mon, was she that pretty?" UM, YES. But I think that she gives off too much of a domme vibe to be Okita's type :P

Chizuru is getting VERY distracted by Okita's hair. You know those scenes in movies where the woman takes down her hair and it's all slow motion and super sexy? This series has a lot of that. Plus when they get their Western makeovers :')

"That's funny... You don't LOOK like an especially nosy, hand-wringing version of my mother." XD I mean, -_- That totally wasn't hilarious.

"I grabbed his towel and began to scrub his head." ... We totally are his mother X_X

"I feel like I remember a time when you were nice and quiet..." NOT ANYMORE, BITCH! AND NOW, I'M ARMED WITH A TOWEL >:)

"You're really good with your hands." O_o ... What?

"You tied your hair up so quickly..." Why don't you show me what else you can do with them? ;)

Now he wants to know what I think of his hair? :/

OMG, HE'S TRYING TO COPY KONDOU'S HAIR XD I HAVE NO WORDS (for once)

Oh, you're surprised that I kept my promise? I'll have you know that I am an honourable woman, good sir! >:/

But Chizuru's claiming to only have done it out of fear of being sliced and diced? :/Uh, sure?

Chapter 4:

"They're small potatoes." This game has some excellent phrases in it X_X

Itou wanting to change the Shinsengumi uniform because it's not "fashionable" enough is the kind of genius that I'd expect from this game's most relatable character :') Although, I personally think that the blue uniforms are pretty <3

Awe, Chizuru thinks that Okita's joking about killing Itou :')

Kaoru just VERY BLATANTLY giving away that he was involved in the notice board incident X_X

:O I'm slightly jealous to discover that Okita's casual death threats aren't just reserved for me!

I get the sense that Okita knows that Kaoru's a boy but I'm sure that it wouldn't stop him if Kaoru was really a girl. Hooray for gender equality!

"I felt embarrassed for even doubting her for a second," O_e SERIOUSLY??!??

We're just going to let him go now!?!

Now Okita's having a coughing fit D: It was so stupid to run off and make him come after us :(

"What if she had accomplices nearby" GOOD. POINT. Chizuru would be so easy to lure into a trap X_X

"Without me around, you're just a useless kid." But I have a great personality! So, together, we almost make one complete, functioning adult :)

"Stop being so timid." I wish that I had that power :'(

"You can rely on us when you need to." Aweee! ^_^

"even compared to the weakest Shinsengumi foot soldier, I was pathetic." HEY. STOP THAT. WHAT DID I SAY? GREAT. PERSONALITY.

"Did you need something?" "Blood." O_O AH. Well, at least he doesn't beat about the bush! O_O

"What the hell? That's a little cold of you, having that pass for a good-bye, isn't it?" YEAH! :'( MIKI IS RIGHT! </3 :(

"Saburo. Watch your mouth." I'm sure that Miki is sad when Itou dies but 90% of their interactions are Itou telling Miki to shut up. X_X

"Is... Is that okay?" NO. IT IS NOT OKAY. SAITO AND HEISUKE ARE LEAVING, ALONG WITH LITTLE PIECES OF MY HEART. D'X

"would that mean I could never see them again?" *sobs*

"We're going to keep relations amicable between our two organisations." AHAHAHAHAHA HA.

"Okita...?" "... Hm? Damn." Uh, nice to see you, too?

"Next time we run into 'em, we'll probably have to kill each other." O_O Don't be so flippant, you ass :'(

"Swords don't think" damn, I didn't realise that you were sword-kin. Everyone thinks and has feelings. I'm sure that no power could convince Okita to kill Kondou.

"Takeda also left" and not one single fuck was given. :')

Just going to ignore Okita making fun of my "bed head" -_-

"I've come to take you" orly? ;)

"Look, lady, you're not part of the Shinsengumi, so I'd appreciate it if you could keep your nose out of our business." So, now that it's convenient for you, I'm part of the Shinsengumi? -_- I still haven't forgotten what you said before, asshole >:( Remember? HEART = BROKEN.

Sen knows that I'm a SLUT ^_^

"I can't tell if you have guts, or if you've got rocks for brains..." It must be the latter if I'm staying because of you XP

*Terrible decision immediately has lethal consequences*

LEMME GO! >:(

See Kazama post for my COLOURFUL feelings on this cunt >:(

Kondou can be so badass when he wants to be :')

Why... Hello there ;)

"Gotta admit, I didn't figure you for this type of girl." Then you haven't been paying attention ;P

Oh yeah: BWWWWWAAAAAAAARRRRP!!! PHYSICAL CONTACT ALARM!!! And then some X_X

"Didn't think I'd be getting pushed down into bed tonight, least of all by you." Oh yeah? Who else did you have in mind? Kondou? -_-

"Oh no! No no no!" Chizuru, we know you're thirsty and it's okay! Embrace the thot within! :')

"Tell me... How is it? On top of me. Does it feel good?" PLEASE SAY YES, PLEASE SAY YES, PLEASE SAY YES!

"I hadn't realised I was still on top of him." Uh-huh. Sure. And what a terrible shame that was.

"If I go out, Kondou will get mad at me." And then no more bum fun :( (me@me: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!??! me: XD Sorry)

"Okita's eyes shone with admiration for Kondou." X_X The fanfiction writes itself...

Just to be clear, I think it's pretty gross to ship people with their guardians, even if they're both adults at the time, because that's called GROOMING.

"He isn't going to need the Water of Life. I'll make sure of that." ... How, Hijikata?! He's literally DYING of tuberculosis!

And now he's not eating :'(

"I just don't want to. Is that really a problem?" Yes, because you'll starve to death.

"Hm, you are a doctor's daughter... Maybe you just can't leave a sick guy alone?" Or maybe I just don't want YOU to die, ass >:'(

I WILL MAKE YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT, JUST EAT IT!!! Ooooooh! He's blushing :O

He doesn't like bitter stuff but wants me to put grated radish in his porridge? O_o Well, I'm glad that he's cooperating :D

"I'm only going to eat it if it's delicious." Well, if you don't like it, I'll try again! :D

"Don't think I've given up or something." Okay D': <3

EAT THE FOOD, OKITA >:D

"It makes me feel good..." Hooray ^_^

"Could you keep me company for a while?" :O Okey! :)

"What would I talk about?" HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND...

"He wasn't afraid to die," um, weren't you eavesdropping on his conversation with the doctor? -_-

"I want to help... But I'm getting weaker every day." Of course you do :'( This is more heartbreaking than him saying that you're not part of the Shinsengumi and just annoying DX

Maybe tell him that everybody likes having him around and that the Shinsengumi is where he belongs? Or, we could just leave him to wallow in misery... I guess that works, too X_X

"I couldn't see someone like Okita succumbing to a mere disease." ... Why, exactly? Is he supposed to fight it off with his sword or persuade it to fuck off with the force of his personality?

"He'll be fine. Right...?" NOOOPE.

SAITO 😍 I mean, uh, whatever... Totally not bothered at all...

WAIT, HOLD ON: SPY-TO. Yes, thank you. I am a genius :3

Finally murdering Itou for realskies! :')

I get that Hijikata and everyone are trying to look out for Okita but he's terminally ill. Keeping him out of the action is only going to keep him miserable until his inevitable demise. :'(

"Saito'll be here for a few days, so you'll have someone to play with." -_- Bit patronising, Hijikata X_X

Kazama being his usual, charming self X_X

Let's go find Okita and... Tell him to go back to bed? Okay...

What the fuck!?!! Kaoru!?!!

Do we ever get a decent explanation for why Kaoru was sent to live with some abusive fucks?

Kaoru... Why are you so short? I bet you were malnourished X_X

Okita's just watching this unfold, chomping on imaginary popcorn...

"Do you just plan to use her, like Kazama does?" O_o... I fucking hope not, because that would be INCEST!!!

"... No," OH, THANK GOD.

"What would you have done if I'd said yes?" Ugh, you said no already! Can we please move this conversation in a less incestuous direction X_X

"... No. You're free to take her." OKITA!!! HE'S MY BROTHER X_X Not that I'm expecting you to leap to my defense but this conversation is WEIRD as FUCK.

:O The Ochimizu! Is Kaoru trying to help Okita?! Misguidedly, but still.

"But... if their plan is to simply use my dear sister as some sort of demonic broodmare... I can't allow that to happen." ... Kaoru... :'O That's... Actually really sweet XO This is the first time that someone who claims to be part of my family has actually looked out for me :')

Oh, so Kaoru wants to use Okita to protect me from Kazama! I have a feeling that he's going to be disappointed if he thinks that Okita will do what he tells him to but I appreciate the gesture :')

"Please don't do anything that would hurt Kondou so, Okita." Ugh, even as he lies dying, he's supposed to be worrying about upsetting other people? >:(

"Okita the Fury; Okita the beast." X_X Bit harsh but okay.

"He had traded away his soul." Um, since when? XD

"Happy now, Kaoru Naguno?" "Yes I am." ... Fair.

"... For falling into my trap." Wait, what?!? O_O

"I'm happy I got to make my sister suffer." Kaoru, why? D': WE COULD HAVE HAD IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAA-AAALLL!!! DX

I'm glad that Kaoru did away with the Nagumo fuckers >:( But still, why take it out on me?!

Even dressed as a boy, Kaoru still looks prettier than Chizuru...

*Sigh* looks like I'm being choked, as usual X_X

I feel like Kaoru could easily have given Okita something much worse than the Ochimizu if he REALLY wanted to make me suffer.

"I'd run out of things to say." X_X Again?!

"This was my decision and I don't regret it." That is good to know :)

"You shouldn't get involved with a guy like me." Oh, here we go X_X

"That came out of nowhere," Too right!

"No" uh, does that mean "no, I won't get involved with you" or "no, I won't do as you say"???

Uh, is he crying?! "Hey! You can't just act like you're sick when you want something!" XD What the actual fuck is happening right now???

"I'm dead" ... Uh... Really? Because... You seem very much alive...

"I don't think Kondou wants you around just because he wants you to do things for him." FINALLY, some sense!

Aaaand, apparently, it's earned me The Unblinking Stare of Doom >:(

"Do you mind not trying to speak for Kondou." Do you mind not assuming that he's so much of an asshole that he'd kick you out just because you're inactive during the day?! >:(

"It's not like you're capable of knowing exactly how Kondou truly feels." YES, YUKIMURA!!! GET HIM!! >:D

"Do you think Kondou would still need me... Even if I can't hold a sword anymore?" YES.

"You're right." I know :3

"I'm just jealous of you, Okita, that you have someone like Kondou by your side." Yeah. >:'( Fuck you, Kaoru, fuck you, Kodo :'(

"Oh yeah, huh... I totally forgot." Ffs, Okita XD

"They just happened to be there when you were born, you know?" Yeah! >:( And they can all go to hell!

"Somehow, my chin had acquired something of an arrogant tilt" yaaaas! You live your best life, girl! Let go of the haters, cut out the negativity! Stick it to 'em!

Chapter 5:

"How dangerous could foreign weapons be?" Oh, my sweet, Summer Sanan X_X

"Why are you going on night rounds with us?" ... Wait, what?! Why am I going on night rounds?

AS IF putting myself in danger is going to help Okita in any way X_X

DAMN, KONDOU... Nice, uh, blood you're accessorising with, there. O_O MEDIC!!!

"Lucky for us, they're idiots." Hooraaaay!

Okita's not going to be happy when he sees this...

Speak of the devil...

HIJIKATA, STOP BEATING ABOUT THE BUSH.

"I thought for a moment that Okita was going to grab Hijikata and shake him." :O :D Please yes!

Okita is suuuuuper keen to blame Hijikata for this -_-

"If he dies, it's your ass in the fire, Hijikata." Another excellent image but this pointless conversation has gone on for too long X_X

"I will find you, no matter where you may be, and I will kill you." O_O OKITA!! I THOUGHT THAT YOU SAID YOU WERE CALM!!! Bloody hell X_X

Oh no... What has Okita done now X_X

Killing spree, mad science, aggressive interrogation, Hijikata murder? The possibilities are endless with this stabby boi.

Where exactly am I running to? "I had finally found him." HOW?! With the power of love?! O_o

Looks like "Killing spree" it is X_X

"I'm about to murder you." Ffs Souji X_X

"I'm just doing my job." OH YEAH?!? THEN WHY DID YOU FEEL THE NEED TO GO BEHIND EVERYONE'S BACKS, HUH?!

"What's wrong with me doing what I'm doing?" Yeah, what's wrong with sadistically slaughtering a bunch of virtually defenceless men as they attempt to retreat?! -_-

"I just killed people, no matter who it was, as long as it was what Kondou wanted." *Sigh* Kondou's not going to be around for ever, you know? X_X Maybe TRY think about why your doing what you're doing. Maybe learn from Kondou's example?

"Do not ever act out and worry the chief like that again." XD You tell him, Saito!

"Idiots." XD Hijikata

"I didn't wake up until evening had arrived." Oh look, it's me :)

OH, FUCK. That looked like a Kaoru silhouette :O

Why do they keep saying that Kaoru "tricked" Okita into drinking the Water of Life?! Kaoru offered it and Okita drank it. No trickery here!

"They wanted to avenge Itou. You remember him? The man you deceived and murdered?" XD Can't argue with that :')

"shoot the weaker target first." UGH. Why do I always get SHOT!?!

"Call me what you want." Oh, I intend to 3:)

Omg, I didn't get shot! :O BECAUSE OKITA USED HIMSELF AS A HUMAN SHIELD O_O ... BUT WHY?!??

NO, DON'T CHECK UP ON ME! WE NEED TO MOVE BEFORE WE GET SHOT AT AGAIN!!!

Oh no! O_O Doesn't look like he'll be moving any time soon O_O

"Okita! Okitaaaaa!" O_O

"It kills me to see you hurt, just as much as it kills you to see Kondou hurt!" O: <3 :'(

"What an idiot.. " No, Kaoru! You're the idiot! Because you will never be happy while you continue down this sadistic, evil path, wasting your own life trying to destroy someone else's and refusing to let go of your spiteful jealousy >:( At least Okita's risking his life for something good.

"The more despair and anger you feel, the more you look like me." ... Silver linings! :)

D: Did they use silver bullets?! :O

Wait, when did Yamazaki get wounded?! :O

Bless Hijikata for letting me stay with my crush XD

Final Chapter:

Yamazaki is fine :D Hooray!

"They need men, so we need to go now..." Uh... Then why aren't you dressed? X_X

"... I want you to remain calm as I tell you this." That is... NOT AN ENCOURAGING WAY TO START A CONVERSATION O_O

D': Inoue has fallen. :'( It hurts every time DX

Aw, he looks really sad :'( and no wonder...

"as soon as we arrive, I'm gonna swing my sword at anyone and everyone." Uh... That's the spirit X_X

ONWARDS TO EDO

[hmel78]

In conversation with Doogie White ...

Circa 1994, when it was announced that guitarist Ritchie Blackmore was reforming Rainbow, rumours flooded the music community regarding who might feature in the line-up, but ultimately it was a collective of relative unknowns who made it onto the new record, and the tour bus ...

The album, “Stranger In Us All”, was issued under the name “Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow” in August 1995, and features Paul Morris on keyboards, Greg Smith on bass, John O’Reilly on drums, Blackmore’s Night’s Candice Night on background vocals, and fronted by Doogie White, the singer was an inspired choice; a huge fan of Ritchie’s career in both Purple and Rainbow, the singer formed a strong writing partnership with the guitarist. The album includes a reworking of The Yardbirds’ ‘Still I’m Sad’, which had been recorded for Rainbow’s debut, 20 years earlier ; Ritchie’s classical flights of fancy are truly achieved on his arrangement of Edvard Grieg’s ‘Hall Of The Mountain King’, and tracks such as ‘Wolf To the Moon’, ‘Hunting Humans (Insatiable)’ and ‘Ariel’ proved themselves to be worthy additions to the Rainbow catalogue. When it came to playing live, songs from both Rainbow and Purple were revisited, and fans are lucky enough - on the re-issue of “Stranger In Us All” -  to be presented with a unique live recording from a 1995 Swedish concert, of ‘The Temple Of The King’ - it also features a radio edit of the single ‘Ariel’, plus the song ‘Emotional Crime’ that has previously only been released in Japan.

Accompanying the extensive liner notes is a personal account from singer Doogie White, plus plenty of artwork and memorabilia from Doogie’s own Rainbow collection.

Doogie White has had a pretty extensive career as a singer / songwriter since his days with Rainbow - We caught up with him whilst on a train to Mannheim to find out more ...

HR : Having been a fan of Rainbow prior to joining them in 1994, how did it feel to suddenly have such a prominent role in the band?

Doogie White : It was a huge moment for me in every way.   There I was, a cheeky upstart who had long admired all that Ritchie did, being personally asked by him to come to America and join his band. He knew nothing about me and I thought I knew all about him. We hit it off straight away from the first notes we played together. We played old Purple and Rainbow songs and some bar band standards and jammed a few ideas just for him to see what I could do on the improvisation front.

I was only supposed to be there 4 days but he asked me to stay for a week. We discussed what kind of album we wanted to make. We played football. He did some magic tricks and we jammed for hours.

We had a good and healthy working relationship and a fine friendship. I knew my place and was happy to be part of his new adventure. He shared his hopes and fears. He trusted me.

I think we made a fine album with some good songs and a couple of real Rainbow classics. There were a couple we compromised on and we did have better ideas but we never finished them so that they could not be released as “bonus” tracks at a later date. I know how much he hated the re released Purple stuff with alternate takes.

I have hours of material but it’s in the Loft ...

HR : Despite the sudden nature of the break-up in 1997, was the overall experience of those 3 years a positive one?

DW : Yes!  Even at the very end when I decided it was here and no further,  it was all good and positive. It was sad of course as I felt there was more work to do and I had given him a tape with 6 song ideas for the next album. Some ended up on Cornerstone’s HUMAN STAIN and another on a TANK album. I treated my time in Rainbow like Ali treated the Heavyweight Crown.   It was the wrong time for the kind of music we were doing but we did it anyway.

Despite what Ritchie says, or in most cases does not say, we got on well until we did not.  His choice not mine. HR : To me it has always seemed strange that it literally ended over night - like a political coup d’etat! - Especially as You seemed to fit Ritchies criteria perfectly ; with what you contributed as both performer and writer. There are many citations which suggest that through Your input, there was a wider range of material that could be performed live, and also Ritchie stated [at the time] that Stranger In Us All was the best thing he had recorded to date - does  that reflect how You felt whilst working with him and Rainbow?  

DW : I don’t think Stranger In Us All is the best thing he did. I don’t even think it’s the best thing I have done. That’s just him promoting the album. It has its place and that is for others to judge. It was a good album though!

I just followed his lead. If he wanted to go off and jam some blues of folk or silly songs I was there as were the rest of the band (Greg Smith, John O’Reilly or Chuck Burgi, Paul Morris, and others) to back him up. He knew that we knew what was required, and also knew what I could bring to the party - he exploited that to the max some nights! He has said he does not like fun and that music is a serious business, but for anyone who saw that ‘95 tour you know that there was some serious music and some serious fun on stage! We were enjoying each other and pushing each other. He’s quite talented like that.

Then others got his ear and were feeding him negative stuff, whispering’s, designed to disrupt him, for his ears only and that was unhelpful - but it suited their agenda and just made him more suspicious, which he had never been with me before.

No one in the band was doing anything other than enjoying being in the band and RAWKin on stage every night. There were no egos just a happy band doing the best they could every night,  and those who saw it knew it was good. I did say if he had a problem with me, for him to come to me and we could sort it out - But that is not his nature and he never did. So when it came down to it he was prepared to believe what he wanted and what he was being told and have things done in his name that were quite frankly beneath the man. When his management were being obstructive I wrote directly to him and he honoured all his commitments to me and made sure that his management paid what was due at the time. That’s how it should be.

HR : And that’s where it stopped  - until now ... “Stranger In Us All” has just been re-released and given a new lease of life?

DW : Yes they have pumped out the frequencies and it really sounds lot better than the flat linear sound of the original.

We should have added some of the extra tracks I have of the demos. But there are far too many hoops to jump through and it would mean new agreements between him and I. That’s not a path he wants to walk. HR : No, understood - but going back to when the original album was released - Obviously you were unaware of the fact that it would be the only recording that Rainbow would make at the time (possibly the last ever one?)  - does it change the way that you feel about it? Do you ever listen to it?

DW : I don’t listen to it at all. I don’t listen to anything I have done other than a couple of times when I get it. Occasionally something will pop up randomly on my iTunes and and a wee nostalgic smile passes my lips. But actually with SIUA - I remember every ounce of effort ; every change of lyric, key, tempo - So it has a different flavour for me than for others. I am proud of it, yet I know that we could have done better. But I was new to the big spotlight and while I stood my ground for a bit every now and again, it was Ritchie’s band and he got to do what he wanted.  Pat [Regan] was producing it and had his instructions on how to guide me.   I was just happy to be waking up every day knowing that today was going to be a new adventure.

I had so much fun all the time. Even when the dark clouds were hovering as they kinda did for the last while. His management did go out of their way to make band, and on the road, life a little less inclusive or welcoming ... But It was that 90 mins on stage that made anything worthwhile.

From what people have told me it’s a shame he now has such a distorted view of our time together. But it’s not my business and I don’t care what he thinks about it or how he feels about me.  I have seen some of the comments attributed to him that people send me. He really does re write his own history and I always have a good giggle at some of the nonsense he comes out with.   He loved it at the time, but to be fair it was a long long time ago and perhaps NOT the most important endeavour he has done musically. I look back at it slightly differently because it was VERY important to me. It was the best of times and will never be repeated for him, or for me.

HR : Well thankfully it didn’t deter you from carrying on! You have been involved with many great artists and projects during your career - have you any particular favourite memories?

DW : My memory palace is overflowing with errr memories from my times with LA PAZ  and CORNERSTONE, YNGWIE and SCHENKER, through TANK and beyond. I have a wonderful life and I am having a wonderful career - And if I am honest, really honest, my career would have been very different had it not been for that one tape I passed to Colin Hart who passed it to Ritchie Blackmore,  who made that fateful call one Saturday night in April 1994. I am forever in his debt and do you know what? He will get no joy at all from me saying that, and that is kind of pleasing!

HR : [laughs] Now I don’t mean to offend you by comparing you to a musical nomad, but you do seem to have moved around quite a bit -  If you could have settled for any greater length of time, or even permanently with one of those bands, who would it have been?

DW : I always have plenty to do recording and writing and performing. There is no dirt on the back of my shoes.

I was with Ritchie for 3 years, Yngwie for 6, Schenker now for 5. I would have been happy to do another album with Ritchie but he had a time machine and went away to his beloved middle ages with all the comforts of the 21Century.

With Yngwie we had run our course but remain friends, if not in touch much.

With Michael I hope to continue our successful partnership. We needed time away to do other things after the 4 years of intense touring/recording - Just to get some fresh experiences and know what side the bread is buttered.

HR : That’s always a bonus! What about future plans? Any more solo work or new collaborations in the pipeline?

DW : I am doing an album with a Bulgarian metal band called John Steel. (Blaze did their first) I will be finishing it when I am back from my short run of solos shows with my band WHITE NOISE (Italian Chapter).

I am always working. Sometimes under the radar sometime soaring like an eagle. Its all good and its all fun.

HR : You always look content to be on stage, and just take it all in your rock stride! Ha! What’s the strangest gig you’ve ever played?

DW : With La Paz in the 80’s at a place called ‘Roots of Cleghorn’ run by a lad called “Chicken George”. It was farming country and George was the only black guy for 100 miles. We played to a farmer in a bunnet and his sheep dog,  and George was the door man collecting the money! HR : Haha! No way!? Well from ‘Roots Of Cleghorn’ to Stockholm Circus -  If you could take a ‘dream’ band on the road, who would be your line-up, and what songs would make it to the setlist?

DW : I would just want to be backing singer for David Bowie, and cover  anything from “Love you til Tuesday” to “Blackstar”.

[metalgearkong]

MediEvil 2019 - Review (PS4)

10/28/19

Developed by Other Ocean Emeryville / Sony Computer Entertainment, released October 2019

It has risen again! The original MediEvil from 1998 is one of my favorite games of all time, and one of the games I have completed the most. Like other games from the PS1 era, I discovered MediEvil on a demo disc and replayed it constantly. I loved the Nightmare Before Christmas aesthetics and music, and liked that it stared a cowardly bumbling skeleton. The late 90′s was a time of experimentation for 3D action/adventure games, and while some people hold Ocarina of Time or Super Mario 64 as their favorites of the genre, MediEvil has always been my personal favorite. MediEvil II released two years later, but lost a lot of its appeal for me because it took place in Victorian London instead of the graveyards and spooky locations of the original. MediEvil: Resurrection was made in 2005 for the PSP, but was more of a re-imagining of the original game, and not a true remake.

I had heard about MediEvil being remade yet again a couple years ago, but tried to have tempered expectations, and not buy into what could amount to be rumors. I imagined it would be akin to a big screen version of MediEvil: Resurrection, or at least the developers would butcher the original game. Last year was when I saw the trailer for this MediEvil remake, and I felt more confident in it. While most people were anticipating big triple-A or franchise games for 2019, my sights and hopes were dead set on this. Finally, after all this time of waiting, MediEvil 2019 has released exclusively for the PS4, and I couldn’t be happier with the final product. Other Ocean Emeryville has created a deeply loyal and extremely faithful remake of the original game I cherish so much, but I feel like only true fans will be able to truly appreciate it for the accomplishment it is.

Before I talk about the game proper, I have to elaborate on the unexpected odyssey it took to actually get the game going. Not only do I have to make a three hour round trip to the nearest Gamestop to get a copy, the game had to immediately download a day one patch: version 1.01. This update was a massive 16GB, and with my super slow mountainous wi-fi speed, my PS4 predicted it would take at least 50 hours. There was no option to begin the game without this update. I was floored. It put me in a state of blue-balled depression and denial. So I took my TV, PS4, and all the necessary cords, and physically hooked in my PS4 to my work’s ethernet cable in a public building, hoping no one would disturb it. The estimated time dropped to a meager four hours, and it made me feel a lot better. Ironically, my PS4 only realized I didn’t have enough storage space to download the update, and somewhere along the line it quit. Thankfully, it let me play after giving up.

Expectations mean a lot, and leading up to this MediEvil releasing, I intentionally did not do a lot of research on the game in order to discover it in person as I was playing. I didn’t realize this was a fully committed remake of the original. MediEvil: Resurrection disappointed me because it changed a bunch about the game and left out a lot of my favorite levels. 2019′s MediEvil recreates every inch of the original game with modern graphics. I was so thrilled I can’t even describe how cool it was to see one of my favorite games of all time with a new coat of skin, especially because I never thought THIS game would be chosen to be remade. Not only that, but the game uses the same exact audio for most of the dialog; each and every gargoyle head and character Dan meets plays the same audio as I’ve had engraved in my skull for over twenty years, only with new character models and more elaborate animations.

The developers even used the same music for each level, only re-recorded it with only small differences or flourishes. Even insignificant things like textures on a doorway or on the ground were recreated in 3D to look just like they did. I would have been perfectly okay with the developers simply using modern graphics and textures to remake certain pieces of architecture or focal points in this game, but no, every corner of Gallowmere represented the original locations, and I constantly had to pick my jaw off the floor (no offense Dan). Cinematics also play out exactly the same, with the same camera angles and movements. Part of me thinks about how maybe Other Ocean Emeryville could have taken these short cinematics sprinkled throughout the game and elaborated slightly on lore, but that would veer dangerously close to a “re-imagining” territory, and I’m just thankful everything is kept so faithful in the end.

The banished necromancer Zarok has raised an army of the dead to conquer the realm of Gallowmere. Unwittingly, Zarok also brought back to life Sir Daniel Fortesque, King Peregrine's captain of the militia, who perished embarrassingly years prior in an earlier battle against Zarok and his armies. After Fortesque’s death, fables, songs, and legends told of his false bravery and battlefield accomplishments, but now he has the opportunity to live up to his own mythical status as the hero of Gallowmere. I’ve always loved this story, wherein the bad guy accidentally raises the very hero who would thwart him. I’ve always loved Dan because he’s so unlike most knights and heroes. He has to live up to his own reputation, and prove those wrong who know what truly happened. We play as Dan and travel from the hum drum graveyards of Gallowmere all the way through more exotic levels such as a pumpkin gorge filled with demonic pumpkins, crystal caverns filled with Minotaur-like monsters, an enchanted forest containing a demonic prison, and much more.

The first advantage to the modernization of this game was being able to see the Hilltop Mausoleum (the 2nd level) from The Cemetery (the 1st level). It would make sense if you had an expansive cemetery, and the very next level, adjacent to that level, had a massive building on top of a hill, and you could see it from far away. As a PS1 game I’d never expect to see something like that, but with this remake, they had the care to include things such as this, which only helps the world feel that much more real and connected. The controls and mechanics are nearly the same as the original as well, only made slightly more convenient. Dan can still equip a one-handed weapon and a shield, and switch between weapons in a menu. He can block attacks, but only as long as the shield’s HP holds out, until you need to find a new one. Dan has all the same moves as the original, but the more free-form camera makes the game a bit more convenient to play by making platforming and seeing things easier.

As you slay enemies in each level, you fill a chalice, and bringing back a full chalice to the end of each respective level grants you a visit to the Hall of Heores before the next level begins; this world’s version of Valhalla, where the most accomplished heroes of history drink, feast, and arm wrestle for eternity. A side goal of this game is to collect the chalice from every level so Dan can also become a member of this ethereal warrior’s afterlife (twenty in all). This is something I struggled with as a kid, but in the past many years I’ve always gone out of my way to make sure Sir Fortesque gets into the Hall of Heroes where he rightfully deserves to be. Sometimes items can be found in a level which are to be used in entirely different levels, something the game only hints at. Case in point are the Ant Caves, which is a maze-like level hidden within a level that is completely optional to complete (but not if you want all twenty chalices). 

Some of the original game’s drawbacks could be regarded as similar drawbacks for this remake. Criticisms like haphazard combat and imprecise platforming are somewhat the same case here, but I would argue that’s half the point playing as a gangling hero who hasn’t yet earned his stripes. I honestly can’t take an unbiased position on some of the game’s more objective problems, not only because I’m such a fanatic and have played the original so many times, but also because it’s impossible for me to have a fresh perspective on the game. I can’t tell you how hard the puzzles are or how tough the game is simply because I’ve played the original so many times, I’ve gotten used to any perceived problems and solved all the puzzles so long ago. Reviews for this game seem to be lukewarm, and it’s an opinion I can’t share because I’m so impressed by how faithful one of my all time obscure favorites has been recreated.

In fact the very few changes the developers did make I could count on one hand. Mostly these changes have been made to a few of the game’s boss fights. Most of the bosses have always been very easy, especially compared to today’s obsession where bosses are meant to be extremely punishing. I can honestly say the changes are for the better and improve on these boss fights. For example the fight with the captain of the ghost ship has been improved, allowing you to manual aim a canon before firing it at him, rather than running back and forth between two fixed canons, hoping one of your shots hit the captain as he paces back and forth. Another addition are the “Lost Souls” which are hidden collectibles, one in each level that can be found by Sir Dan. This basically makes you replay every level to find the Lost Souls, as they only appear once you’re already near the end of the game. I can’t say I was motivated to find them, at least not right now, since it appears to be a shallow fetch-quest.

Besides getting the game booted in the first place, I did a have a few technical problems while playing the game. These are probably because the version 1.01 patch never actually downloaded and installed, and I may have been experiencing what the developers were trying to fix. One example was a door not opening once I had defeated all the enemies in the room, effectively trapping me there forever, forcing me to restart the level. The problems were mainly things such as this, and I bet I’m the only person in the world who had to complete the game from beginning to end raw without the day one patch. Otherwise the game ran great, and looks good as Hell.

I’m so glad Other Ocean Emeryville didn’t try to subvert expectations or put a clever twist on certain things, leaving it as is. MediEvil 2019 constantly impressed me, and I don’t think I’ve felt this much fan service and satisfaction since the Shadow Moses chapter of Metal Gear Solid 4 from 2008. The music, dialog, weapons, level design, aesthetics, enemies and controls have been painstakingly remade, giving this cult classic an impressive new look. Its the restrictive nature of the developer’s design philosophy I appreciate the most; this is simply a game for the fans, and very obviously by the fans. MediEvil was my most anticipated game of 2019 and I am deeply satisfied and surprised about how well it turned out. Annoying day one patch download aside, I had an incredible time experiencing this remake. While some gameplay flaws might still exist, and those who don’t already love the original may not see it in the same level of reverence, this was a big payoff for me and I’m sure other dedicated fans feel the same. Thank you Other Ocean Emeryville, this has been a wonderful gift.

9/10

[groomlakeprojects]

Crash(test) The Ballad of Faded Wolf

(Summary)

Barry Mick is a struggling tour manager for a young US rock band in his 30's working in the rock world and mainstream pop; but also works several part time real jobs. The band he is currently managing is a young band “Faded Wolf”; full of notorious stories and behaviors including sex,drugs, and rock and roll. Will they crash and burn? Or live and learn? Probably neither.

Crash(test) The Ballad of Faded Wolf

Story written by Joe Bruno

Edited by

Max Barksdale

There’s something peaceful about waking up in a moving vehicle. The scenery moving like an old movie reel as we make our way to the next destination is the best part, I guess. From what my folks told me when I was young, you actually had to dedicate a person, with a license, to controlling the vehicle; which sounds like a terrible idea looking around my immediate company.

“Tommy Rocks”, as he’s known, is in the next bunk over; putting his genitals on one of our roadies face while he’s asleep. Classic. The band I’m currently out on the road with, (for way less money than I should’ve negotiated; had I known the shit storm I had agreed to) Faded Wolf, are one of the new growing bands in the heavy metal scene. And they are all about attention.

These guys just cost the label $600,000 in damages; leading cops on a two hour chase after stealing a old school collection car from a classic car show, then proceeding to manually drive it onto the highway.

Fucking psychos I tell you. Especially in 2044.

A human messing with with our great, automated highways? It’s crazy they’d let anyone touch a real steering wheel. Thankfully the van doesn’t have one or I’d never sleep with this band around. Not that I do much.. From what I heard growing up, people died like all the time crashing these things it was something crazy like the plague, it was in the millions of people dead all of the time, senselessly. And you’ve got to be an idiot to get out on the roads with the old cars and attempt to drive with the cars we have today. Nobody stops and goes and burns gas anymore. The road system today is cars going everywhere all automatically timed to drive without hardly stopping. Except out here, there’s some drivers still not enough automatic services out this way yet.

Suddenly, there’s a loud pop and the van comes to a stop on the side of the road. We are somewhere on I-70 near Anywhere, Kansas. The van operator broadcasts on to the intercom, “Hey fellas, we are really sorry to inform you but your ‘Bandvan’ rental has had an internal problem with it’s charge system and needs repairs. With your insurance purchase, we will be covering stay at a hotel for you guys until we can get the next van in your area. The nearest one is a day away. Really sorry about the inconvenience. We can give you two free days on your next trip. Again, so sorry. Local tow resources are on their way and should arrive in 25 minutes.”

Damn. We had one more date for tomorrow in Colorado, then I was to catch the Interstate speed train to California; where my next job starts. A pop artist, “Yuki”, is playing the VENUE on Mars’ grand opening. This is like the big stadium time too; bigger than the theaters and bars that host Faded Wolf.

I was asked to smuggle some personal belongings they had left when they took off last week. Oh, and it’s going to take two months to get there. The band managers “great joy of the music world”, is basically being the babysitter to the most irresponsible group of people in the world.

Not now.

I have to figure out what we are going to do. The tow truck is pulling up now I guess I’ll go settle up with the service and oh hey it’s the gang is already around the front. Shit. Tommy, Jim, John, and Freddy are chugging beers and flashing their private parts to oncoming traffic. I used to hear stories about bands like Motley Crüe and Guns N Roses, in my grandparents younger days, who did this kind of stuff.

It was wild.

I think that’s what they want.

Shock value.

It sounded fun at first; but after two months of living it, breathing it, and smelling it with this group, it has lost it’s appeal. I can’t wait to go Mars and get away for a bit.

But what are you gonna do?

These guys want it all.

And unfortunately, they’ll do anything for the attention.

We arrive at a local hotel. It was one of these small mom and pop ones with a kind of old “Bates Motel” vibe; except this was Conways motel. It’s almost like a slasher film; but instead of killing you in the shower, you would step back in time to what the elders would call, “the eighties baby!” The room was filled with neon colors on the walls and 80’s movie and music posters on every wall.

A short older man, maybe in his 60’s, in black pants and a faded blue vintage nascar shirt approaches us. He introduces himself as Earl Conway and asks if we are the rock band staying the night. Tommy and the gang, the kind of wild living guys they are, of course are already shotgunning beers behind me with the roadies and some local fans who are also staying at the hotel.

They have also recognized the band.

I shrug and go into “manager mode”.

We get away to settle up the insurance at the front desk.

“Well, I know it’s y’all’s misfortune, but it is just our treat to have y’all stay with us at ‘Conway’s’ tonight. We never have too many city folk stay here; especially real rockstars. Let us know if you need anything; food, beer, some coke, ‘Ya know’,” Earl brags with a grin.

Well, at least I know these guys are mostly safe to party.

“Thanks Mr. Conley. I really hope we don’t need too much. Our next van will be in town around 12 tomorrow. And then, we are back on the road to the rockies. Though, I can’t speak for the band. It looks like they are already making friends.”

I gaze out the door.

The crowd partying with the band has tripled since exchanging info at the front desk. It appears Tommy and Freddy are now signing several women’s breast and taking some suggestive photos. They probably assumed I quit paying attention, went to my room take my sleep aid, and pass out.

What the hell could go wrong? This is what they do.

That’s not managing though.

I’m thinking I got to go break this up.

“Mr. Conley, I’ll make sure we keep the crowd and noise down,” I assured him.

“Nonsense Barry! You know what; on the weekends we have a 25 Acre track, just behind the motel, where we race good old human driving cars. I saw the band’s mishap with that car out in California on the news. Compared to that footage, I’ll gladly let them rip it up tonight!” Earl responded.

Well there goes my peaceful night.

It’s not even night, and two of the old classic cars that drove by earlier have rolled up to the growing party in the parking lot. Freddy, Tommy, and the gang, are now doing what are called “donuts” in the parking lot. I’ve seen videos online where the human controlled vehicles speed and then brake during a turn, to slide across parking lots at shopping centers and apartment buildings. I suppose it’s better they can do that here; instead of the theft and driving on automated highways charges.

I head to the room to try to get some peace and quiet. Maybe I can try to go over my lists for the Mars trip; which I’m surprised about it being a whole 4 month thing and I’m not that nervous yet. I guess it’s hard to think to that far in the future when you live in “Faded Wolf’s” now.

As I’m approaching the room, I can hear sounds of giggling. Nope thats moaning.

Shit.

Someone is having sex in my room.

Again.

I can’t really count at this point how many times this has happened. But I’m not surprised really. It’s Faded Wolf. What did I expect. At least I have my bag. I can work on some things in this old chair at the end of the hall.

Luckily, I brought my headphones to tune this out.

And they are dead.

Goddamn Bluetooth!

I really miss the older devices my grandparents showed me when I was younger, the headphones may have had to be plugged in; but you weren’t left hanging.

Well, i passed out in the hallway on the floor for couple hours and awake to Earl right in my face and shaking me “buddy I got other customers rolling in soon can’t have you here like this.” I agree. I startle but get up in a haze.. I haven’t really felt this low since i turned 30. The world keeps turning though, I get up and grab my bag and computer I used as a pillow. The room was cleared out and I can finally catch a shower.

There’s clearly cocaine residue on the dresser and all of the room beers are gone. As much as I’m disappointed they didn’t leave any to share, I’m guessing Earl may have to order more for tonight.

I finish my shower, get dressed, and head out to the tracks. It’s a sunny summer day, with green trees and a field view; not that Kansas is known for its landscapes. It was a nice break from the crowded cities we usually stay in.

The guys are all hammered and driving these cars, I’d say, 90 miles an hour back and forth through a loop called a “race track.”

I’ve seen these before on the web. This used to be a popular sport, and still has a strong presence in the south to this day.

More of the local community has shown up looking for a chance to party with this band of fools.

I finally take a seat in the stands, with my own beer, and a little cigarette of ‘grass’, as they used to call it. One of the cars with Tommy driving, and yelling something obnoxious out the window, suddenly turns too quick. It goes up sideways, and flips several times in a barrel roll before stopping on it’s hood.

I drop everything and run over to help.

Tommy quickly climbs his way out, soaked in blood and yelling out in pain; which seems to be coming from the arm he’s holding. I look over inside. One of the fan girls from earlier is inside; luckily with a seatbelt on, which is holding her up. Kind of dangling, but still not awake. She looks a little cut up and I can’t tell if she’s breathing.

This right here is why they did away with letting humans drive. This is what my parents used to ramble on about when I

was young and driving had just been banned. I can’t believe they did this for over 100 years. This is a horror movie in real life. The shock and anxiety. You know, cannabis can make you very anxious without any bad shit happening; but this anxiety was something completely new.

One of my clients may have just killed someone.

As the local ambulance and fire response vehicles roll up, so do several police cars.

This is it.

We are fucked.

I am fucked.

The mars trip, is super fucked.

There is no way we are getting out of this mess by the time our next van rolls in tomorrow.

The rest of the band and I stayed back and talked to the cops about what we saw. I look over to the medical team, and see the fangirl miraculously retain consciousness; with no visible broken bones. Just a few scrapes and bruises on her faces. When her eyes finally opened and she got up and walked off with her friends quickly to the ambulance and seemed to try to keep looking over seeing Tommy at the ambulance, my anxiousness subdued a bit.

But now, we had a new set of problems. The law.

Tommy was immediately arrested and was being charged with an older charge called a “DUI”, reckless driving, and driving without a license. Apparently, this whole track operation is mostly for skilled drivers who still get a thing called a “drivers license.”

After they take him away, local news crews start rolling in to film the documentary of the end of our careers.

I had to call the label to let them know what had happened.

Well look at that. Faded Wolf news travels fast. Tim, the A&R rep, is calling me.

“Hey Tim, buddy! How are you?” I ask, trying to cool tension. “What the fuck did you let happen Barry? You’re the manager! Do you know how much this is going to cost us?” He yelled.

“Look man; you know these guys! Okay? They don’t listen to anybody! I just clean up the mess, like always! But I’m gonna go down there and get Tommy out, okay? These people are super fans; so we might get lucky,” I explained.

“Try what you will Barry; but if you can’t fix this, you’re done.” He hung up.

Earl comes up, still shaken from the event. I immediately start apologizing.

“Hey man. I’m so sorry these guys are idiots, And that poor girl”

He interrupts, “It’s ok Barry, it’s my fault. I encouraged it, and we’ve had accidents from time to time. I could’ve done more to set some ground rules. You guys being here has just been the most fun we’ve had in a while. Look. I got a lawyer buddy who helps me with my books. I’m gonna call him for us. Would you like a ride to check on Tommy?” He asks.

“Of course man! That would be amazing. I actually don’t know how to drive; really none of us from out west do.”

The rest of the crew stayed back.

The buzzkill shook everyone into retreating back to the rooms.

The parties over.

The drive was quiet.

The local radio report is already talking about the accident. I had to change the channel and the next station is, of course, a rock station ironically playing the “Faded Wolf” song “Crash”. I change it again, and finally tune into some obscure classical channel.

It was finally peaceful.

We get to the police station and go check in.

You know in jail movies, this part always sucks. Going to meet your friend or family member; locked up in the jump suit.

It is an all around shitty experience.

It also has be somewhere around 1 AM; about 12 hours away from our van departure schedule. At this point, I feel we are not gonna make it. And I’m not gonna make that Mars trip. We get to the front desk and ask for Tommy.

The desk lady grins and says, “We are hanging that mugshot up in the break lounge; as soon as we get it autographed. We’re holding him a bit longer. You know, y’all are so lucky that girl and her family likes him. He could’ve been here a while.”

I reply confused, “So he’s getting out?.”

“Well, yeah. Some lawyer came in representing that girl. Says she’s his daughter and he settled up with the judge. He will be free to go in just a bit”.

I look to Earl, “Dude, your lawyer is the girls dad?”

He looks shocked, “Shit I had no clue. I hope he doesn’t shut me down.”

The lawyer pops around the corner. “No real harm, no foul; I suppose. We live a little wild out here with these cars, and have accidents from time to time. Regardless, my kid, for some godforsaken reason, has been obsessed with this band for years now, since her high school days, and says it would be the most embarrassing thing to put you away for this. She just wants this to go away. And she really likes this “Tommy” guy, so we’ve made a hefty financial settlement that will take care of her, myself, and get some money flowing down at city hall again. Anyways, we will be in touch with the label for payment soon. And, please. Never. Ever. Let Tommy, or the rest of the band, drive. Or maybe never come here again. I’m serious. Goodnight, gents.” He leaves the station.

Well only in this rock and roll world can such scenario play out. Apparently everyone in this jail is a Faded Wolf fan even the judge. Tommy finally comes out of the back putting his shirt back on and a little bandaged up it seems. He signs a few copies of his mugshot for the station employees. Tommy then comes running at us jumping “ dudes I can’t believe it they love us here, apparently that girls dad is a lawyer, and begged him not to let me stay locked up and pay a fine instead” I reply “ so what’s the damage how much is this going to cost us?” Tommy smirks “ well let’s just say the label is not going to be happy about it and I’m sorry Barry if they blame this on you” I reply “ blame what?” Tommy deeply inhales and answers “eh it’s gonna cost about 20 million or so”. Well in my mind I was thinking a lot worse but that is still probably enough that it’s coming out of the next albums check and probably my check too. He continues “ it’s all good Barry we are getting that next advance and the last album just hit platinum”. This guy has no clue how completely fucked we could’ve been. But how could he? We let this happen and now by paying it off we encourage it.

We all get back to the hotel it’s probably close to 4 AM everyone’s passed out. Earl comes by as I’m packing things to be ready to go in the morning. “ well I’m glad it all worked out for you guys and I’m sorry about letting this happen” I interrupted “ look Earl these guys like to do crazy things and don’t think much, don’t blame yourself

We are all lucky it wasn’t worse.

And crazy lucky that the girl’s dad was lawyer; in our favor.

“You’ve been a great help to us! I’ll make sure to send you a postcard from the new venue on mars!”

He sort of gets excited, “Mars? No way! Is that the pop star everyone is going crazy for? ‘Yuki’ right?”

I replied, “Yup! That’s the one! I actually have to bring some things they forgot when they left the other day.”

Earl grabs a postcard from his folder he was carrying. “Well, could you show some love to the motel up there?”

I look at the picture of the motel which had several cars driving in the background, “You bet Earl, thanks for everything”.

I caught some sleep and woke up just in time for the “15 minute warning” for the vans arrival. We all loaded in and waved goodbye. Tommy was, of course, holding up the show and making out with the girl Alice. You know, the girl he nearly killed last night. I think that’s what her name was. Actually, I’m not really sure what her name was; but I guess it’s best we leave town on a good note.

And there we were; back on the road, heading to Colorado, cracking jokes trying to laugh off the bizarre events from the night before.

Tommy leans from his seat to me, “Barry, man, thank you for being there. We all appreciate it and I promise you that I’m never driving again! Well, unless I come back out here and see her again” he chuckles.

It had been on my mind all morning though, that maybe it was time for a career change. Possibly something with less responsibility for those least responsible. Maybe I’ll start my own band or label and just be in charge of myself. Who knows?

The Colorado show went off without a hitch; other than arriving right as soon as the band was scheduled to be on in 30 minutes. I’m glad we made it, but also just as glad to be out and not in charge of these maniacs for a long time. I left early to catch my train to the launch pad in California.

I can’t believe I made it.

Still sleepy and still taking in the events of the last two days, I figured it was a perfect time to take a sleep aid; seeing as I’ll be boarding a space shuttle to live in (which is basically a hotel lobby) for two months.

From what I’ve read, these launches can make you feel sick quickly; so it’s probably best to be passed out for that part. I get through security, get my bags checked, then board the ship. As I’m seated and buckled, I lay back with freshly charged headphones and some classics playing.

I slowly doze off.

I wake up, and I’m not in the ship anymore, but back in the port at the launchpad in a wheelchair. A flight attendant is near me, sees that I’m awake, and jumps up.

“Sir we are so sorry to inform you like this, but our ship had trouble taking off and was grounded. A second ship left later

in the day, but you have been out for about 10 hours and we could not get you into the next one passed out like that.”

I feel ambushed by the whole situation.

I’m still waking up but I take a second to process it “So when’s the next one?”

She replies, “Unfortunately, the Mars shuttle only flies three times a month, twice a day. That was the last one, and there are currently no options for two weeks. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience”

I’m still processing, but try to negotiate with her, “So what else can I get? my clients need their package.”

She responds, “Well your boss, Tim I believe, has left a package and note for you about that.”

I open the packages and letter.

“Hey, Barry. Give me a call when you get this. You’ve got a new mission. You're now taking the daily flight tomorrow to the moon for ‘Faded Wolf’s’ surprise show next week for the moon colony at the Lunar Lounge.

PS: Mars mail carrier will take the package; don’t worry. But you gotta watch these guys again!

You owe me!

And the label!”

Really? I quit.

[thattennisgirl]

Loki x Fem! Reader - Little Bird

Summary: The reader finds common ground with Loki during a chance meeting in the small library within the Avengers compound. Loki becomes fond of the reader.

Set in an AU where Infinity War/End Game does not occur, but is post Thor Ragnarok where Loki joins the Avengers as part of a contract for the Asgardians to settle in Norway.

Word Count:  1,581

Warnings: None

Soft footsteps echoed quietly through the dark halls of the Avengers compound as you headed towards the one place that was always a constant source of consolation when you couldn’t sleep, the library. Reading always seemed to help take your minds off things, relax your mind, especially when dark nightmares of your past plagued you.

This was how you found yourself slowly making your way towards the library, a large blanket wrapped around your shoulders as you made a right at the end of a hallway. You wore your pajama bottoms and a t-shirt as you were not concerned about running into anyone in the middle of the night, most of the Avengers who stayed at the compound were asleep at this time. Although you knew that some of them had sleep struggles of their own, as you had caught Steve going on midnight jogs before. Not that you ever had the energy to join him, you were much more inclined to be comforted by books and their intriguing stories.

You pulled your blanket tighter around your shoulders as you finally found the entrance to the library, and stepped inside. You paused the moment you set foot in the library however, as you noticed a small light emitting from the furthermost corner in the library. It looked like the lamp was on. 

You furrowed a brow, had you left the lamp on from earlier? You wondered, it had been a rainy day without much natural light, and you had used the lamp earlier in the day while reading on the window bench. You couldn’t quite be certain if you remembered turning off the lamp or not. 

Frowning, you moved towards the corner, but not before grabbing a few of your favorite books. Perhaps you would read near the lamp again tonight rather than go back to your room. However, when you came around the corner of one of the bookshelves you halted in your steps. 

Loki looked bored as he gently flipped a page from where he sat in a leather armchair, his tall and lithe body looking more relaxed than you had ever seen the Asgardian, now Avenger and reformed villain. He was dressed casually compared to his usual standards. Instead of his typical leather outfit, he wore a hunter green long-sleeve shirt that hugged his shoulders nicely and black pants, along with dark boots underneath.

His dark raven shoulder-length hair was slightly mussed, likely from him running his hand through it numerous times. Even though you couldn’t see his eyes well from your position, you were certain those emerald eyes were as sharp as ever. It was a gaze that unnerved even you, made you feel as if he could see through all of your secrets. Perhaps he could, he was a God after all.

However, if your goal was to avoid the Asgardian, you failed miserably. 

Loki could sense someone was staring at him, and he looked up in irritation to see who had disturbed his reading. He paused at the sight of you there in the library standing next to the bookshelf. His green eyes narrowed to examine your appearance, his view of your clothes impaired by the large blanket you draped over your body. Socks with a printed pattern on them peeked out from underneath the blanket. Yes, it was indeed his new and somewhat odd, partner. 

“What do you want?” The words came out with more venom and annoyance than Loki had intended. 

You blinked, surprised that the handsome God had even bothered to acknowledge your presence. And he was still staring at you. You felt a small flush on your face at being caught. “I’m here for the same reasons as you.” You waved one of the books you held in your hand, slightly irritated at his bad mood. 

Loki paused, then noticing the tiredness in your eyes, hair messed up from what he could only assume to be constant tossing and turning. And yet, you were still as beautiful and stunning as the first time he had met you. But this time, you were much less guarded and Loki felt an odd urge to run a hand through your hair. Loki frowned, for a moment he was concerned why you were not sleeping at this ungodly hour. He quickly admonished himself as soon as the thought occurred, who was he to be concerned about a mortal? And yet, he still worried for you.

He watched as you stepped into the room, and eyed the bookshelf before him, searching for something. It wasn’t long before you found it, and grabbed the book a small delighted smile on your lips. 

“I’ll leave you be then.” You stated, turning to leave, deciding that reading in your room was not a bad option either, especially since your favorite area was occupied and you weren’t quite up to being that close to an Asgardian who you were not very familiar with just yet.

"Wait.” Loki’s smooth baritone called out, and you paused and looked at him. Loki quickly schooled his features from interest back to cool and composed. Did he dare to ask a favor of you?

“I’m afraid I am unfamiliar with the texts of Midgard.” Loki paused, hating to admit weakness. But he knew you were familiar with the books probably more than anyone else in the Avengers compound, as he had found you in the library multiple times since he had moved here. Each time he would leave before you could realize he was there. “I am having difficulty finding novels worthy of my interest.”

You felt a small smile appear on your lips as the God requested recommendations for books, from you of all people. Loki’s green eyes watched you warily, as if concerned you might humiliate him for the smallest admittance of weakness.

“It can be a troublesome task at times.” You agreed, watching as slight relief flashed through his eyes before he pretended to act nonchalant.

“Yes, well, Midgardian authors can hardly compare to the works of Asgard,” Loki replied as he examined the text in his hand.

You felt your lips twitch at that, it appeared the God did not like asking for help and was doing his best to mask his interest with boredom and insults. Perhaps the two of you were not so different at all.

“I think I know just the thing.” You grinned at the dark-haired Asgardian whose eyes watched you with barely-concealed interest.

Turning back towards the shelf, you set down the books you had came here for, and grabbed a few classics off of the shelves, a mixture of poetry, novels, and plays. Even going a little further back in the library to grab some of your favorites.

Loki sat up straighter as you returned to him holding a rather large pile of books. The way your eyes sparkled in slight enjoyment should have set him on edge, but instead, he found himself admiring how beautiful you looked when you smiled. You laid the books rather unceremoniously on the table next to him, and Loki couldn’t help but grab the first book off the top of the table and scanned the title as you watched, your heart fluttering slightly in his presence. The last time the two of you had been this close, you had been sparring.

“I think you will quite like Shakespeare, he was by far one of the best playwrights in history.” You paused as the God’s dark green eyes met yours, “Thor tells me that you have quite the flair for dramatics and a preference for plays.”

The corner of Loki’s lips twitched upwards in a smirk at the memory of Thor stumbling upon his well-orchestrated play in Asgard. “I do.”

“Good.” You grinned, “I’ll be leaving then.” You nodded as you went to pick up your books to leave. 

Loki let out a small cough and you looked back at him to see him glance away. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure.” You left before any more awkward words could be exchanged. Your heart suddenly felt much lighter and happier after your interaction with the Asgardian. Loki watched your shapely figure go before turning back to one of the plays in interest. After a while, he paused as he came across an interesting piece of Shakespeare’s play which had a small pink note on it as if to highlight the importance of the words. 

“The eagle suffers little birds to sing,

And is not careful what they mean thereby,  

Knowing that with the shadow of his wings

He can at pleasure stint their melody”

Loki wasn’t entirely familiar with all of the bird species on Earth but he understood the main concept, an eagle will allow birds to sing but with little care of what they say due to an eagle’s ability to scare off or kill any prey weaker than itself. Loki realized that like an eagle, he had little care or interest in the words of mortals due to his ability to easily snuff out their existence as he had done in the past.

“My little bird,” Loki said fondly, his words a mere whisper in the silence of the library. It was a fitting nickname, for your mortality was as fragile as a small bird amidst predators. But a bird is able to sing a song so sweet that it can endear even the coldest of hearts. Perhaps there was still hope for him when it came to you.

----------

The quote is from Shakespeare’s play “Titus Andronicus.” You can find the quote here, on line 90 spoken by Tamora. 

[robininthelabyrinth]

Fic: An Internal Affair - Chapter 20 (Ao3 link)

Fandom: The Flash Pairing: Leonard Snart/Barry Allen

Summary: Leonard Snart, the CCPD Captain of Internal Affairs, is known as Captain Cold for a very good reason: He hates corrupt cops with a merciless vengeance, and once you’re on his list, you’re in serious trouble.

His next target?

A CCPD lab tech named Barry Allen who’s developed a suspicious habit of disappearing at random intervals.

—————————————————————————————————

Ever since Barry became a speedster, he's found that he's able to keep up with things. Events. People.

Real life plot twists?

Except five seconds ago he was dropping Mick and Eddie back at the hospital (just in case), two seconds ago he was running back into STAR Labs desperate to save Len (who loves him?!) but knowing he'd be too late -

And now he and Wells (Eobard Thawne) are standing in the base of the Accelerator, both of them empty-handed and covered in glass shards, staring blankly at each other.

"Did - did you know that she could fly?" Barry asks hesitantly. He doesn't think so - he doesn't think Wells has ever even met Kara - but Wells has been three steps ahead of him this whole time, so...

Wells just shakes his head, still looking blank.

Barry kinda agrees. Like - what? What just happened?

Kara also moved, like, really fast. Like. Speedster fast. She's a speedster? Except she can also fly - and that was definitely flying, not jumping, Kara was totally, like, horizontal there - and, just -

Hold up.

They're both just standing around being shocked. Neither of them is moving, which means whoever starts moving first will have a (brief) advantage over the other.

Barry was definitely losing earlier, and he's pretty sure even with whatever advantage he can get from an early start, he's going to keep losing.

Time for a strategic retreat.

Barry makes a break for it.

Wells only notices, tearing his bemused attention away from the shattered ceiling, when Barry's nearly at the door, and then he gives chase - because of course he gives chase, he's obsessed, he's not going to give up, he's never going to give up - right up until Barry hits the street outside and a pair of arms catches him right under the armpits and up they go.

"This is awesome," Barry says to the greatness of Central City, laid out before him, as he's carted off into the air, legs dangling below him and Wells left behind stewing angrily at STAR Labs.

There's a sigh behind him.

"You know," Kara says into his ear, "I really feel like I expected people to be a little more shocked by this revelation. Possibly more negative. I don’t know. Something."

"I don't think Len actually has any negative feelings about you," Barry says honestly, since that's probably what she was actually worried about. He thinks Kara's awesome, and he's pretty sure the feeling's mutual, but at this stage of their budding friendship they still both worry over Len way more than they think of each other. "And I was shocked! I was totally shocked. There were full minutes of shock. But, y'know, what with me being a speedster -"

"Yeah, yeah, you processed it already. And the boss doesn’t do shock in public, I know. But still!" she says petulantly, and then dives down to a rooftop where Len's already sitting, leaning against the edge, to drop Barry off and hover above them. "Barry, can you stay here and keep the boss company while I go get either his braces or his spare crutches? I feel like the ones he dropped in STAR Labs are probably a total loss."

"I told her to go back to STAR Labs and pick up what I'd left behind," Len says, very solemnly. "And yet for some reason she grabbed you -"

Barry sniggers.

Kara does, too, then punches Len lightly in the arm. "Stop goofing around. I'll be back in five minutes - most of which will be spent digging around that mess you call an apartment."

And then she's gone.

Barry looks at Len, whose legs are splayed out in front of him in a way that suggests that his leg is hurting him and whose face is overly controlled in a way that suggests his side isn't doing him any favors either.

"So," Barry says.

"Yeah," Len says.

"Did you...?"

"Nope. Didn't have a clue."

"Fair," Barry says, because he hadn't either. Of course, he isn't as close to her as Len is, but also he hadn't noticed the Wells thing for ages, so he has no place to talk about noticing things. "You do hate mysteries."

"I also hate applying normal person logic to a situation and ending up with time-travel and superheroes," Len says dryly. "I guess I'll live. Anyway, like I told her, it doesn't really matter, since it doesn't seem to impact her efficiency as a secretary any."

Barry's almost expecting Kara to reappear and yell 'Admin assistant!' at them, but she doesn't. That's probably the point - Len's paranoid (and justly so) enough to want to make sure she's not spying on them.

And, well, Barry agrees. Just because Kara has superpowers doesn't mean that he intends to start treating her any differently. Although –

"Okay, so, one thing," he says. "I feel, like, 90% certain that most of your stories about how you met Kara hinged on her not being in Central during the Accelerator explosion."

"She wasn't," Len says. "She's not a meta, she's an alien."

Barry pauses.

He opens his mouth to say something, realizes he has nothing constructive to say, and closes his mouth again.

He considers the issue for another moment.

And then -

"She's a what?!"

"An alien," Len says, with a wry expression that suggests that he took this little revelation with much more grace externally and approximately the same degree of taken-abacked-ness internally. "Born on a planet called ‘Krypton’, apparently; she and her cousin were schlepped off to Earth because it has a comparable ecosystem to their homeworld, which was in the process of exploding at the time."

"Exploding."

"Apparently."

"I see."

"Yeah."

"And, because she's an alien, she can - fly? And move at speedster speeds?"

"And punch hard enough to move a car," Len says, rubbing his arm. "I'm extrapolating, but it seems reasonable."

Barry considers this.

"...that’s so cool," he finally says.

"Agreed," Len says, unable to keep from grinning.

"So," Barry says, and he doesn't really want to say what he has to say next, but he doesn't feel like he really has a choice. "I guess that means you don't need me, huh?"

Len blinks owlishly at him. "I - don't follow."

"Well, you came to me because you need a speedster to fight Wells - Thawne - whatever, right? And now that you have Kara -"

"You idiot," Len says, but fondly. "I came to you because I wanted an excuse to see you again, not because you were our last hope, Obi-Wan Kenobi."

Of course Len goes there. He wouldn’t be Len if he didn’t think in movie quotes and talk in puns.

"Listen," Len says, his face going serious. "I'm not - I don't - listen, I was right, what you were doing was wrong, and that's definitely not going to magically go away anytime soon. There have to be consequences. But - I should have listened to you.”

Barry stares at him.

Len meets Barry’s eyes. “I should have taken time to understand your perspective and accounted for all the issues surrounding what happened - including the fact that Wells is a master manipulator who deliberately positioned himself to gain your trust as an unquestionable father-figure, and the fact that he used your actual present father-figure to reinforce what he was doing.”

He shakes his head.

“It's not that I don't know how corruption creeps in, tainting everything around it, or even that the CCPD's been drowning in it for so long that it infects the best of us,” he continues, making a face. “I should've thought about that, and I didn't. I didn’t, because I was hurt, and I was hurting, and it felt like you did it at me, when that wasn't the case at all. And that was wrong, too.”

Len reaches out and puts a hand on Barry’s arm. “I should have given you the benefit of the doubt,” he says. “And while I'm not apologizing for the fact that I'm very likely going to have to put you in jail for what you've done, I'm at least sorry for that."

Barry swallows, hard. His heart feels like it's going a million miles an hour, and with his powers, that's actually possible.

He's going to react to Len's explanation in a mature manner befitting the seriousness of the subject, to accept his apology, to thank him for his faith in Barry, to –

"Did you really tell Mick that you were in love with me?" he blurts out instead. "In - in the hospital, I mean, like Wells said."

...damnit.

He's been thinking of little else - yes, he knows, inappropriate in a life-or-death situation but the possibility of Len loving him – the thought of Len dying without ever knowing that Barry loves him back -

Barry ran faster than he ever has before.

But Len didn't die. He's alive, he's here, and Barry has to know the truth.

Len pauses for a long moment.

"Please, Len," Barry says. "It's important."

Len's throat works. "Yes," he says. "I did. I - still do."

Barry -

Barry needs to sit down.

The space right next to Len is wide open, so he sits there. It’s a perfect fit.

He somehow thought it would be.

"I understand if it's - unwanted," Len is saying, because Kara is right; he is an idiot. Barry's in love with a total idiot, and he couldn't be happier about it. "Setting the cops on your family, your friends, in quite such a manner -"

"Len," Barry interrupts. "I love you, too."

And then he kisses him.

It takes a second for what Barry said to sink in, but then Len's kissing him back and his hands are in Barry's hair and Barry's hands are on Len's shoulders and –

Kara clears her throat.

Barry yelps and scrambles off of Len's lap. He isn't sure when he got on Len's lap, actually, and now that he thinks about it, it probably wasn't doing any good for Len's leg and side –

Kara's standing right behind them, laughing and holding Len's crutches in one hand and his leg and back braces in the other. They're pretty unwieldy, but she holds them as if they weigh nothing - seems Len was probably right about the super-strength.

She grins at both of them. "Sorry, am I interrupting something?"

"You support this," Len tells Kara crossly. "I know you do. Why're you interfering now?"

"No, no, don't get me wrong, I'm delighted," she says. "It's about time! You two are so good together!"

"Then go fly around the block for another few minutes!"

Kara giggles. "Oh, trust me. I would. But..."

Her smile fades, replaced with a serious look.

"But?" Len prompts.

"The riots have started."

"Crap," Len says, all levity gone. "Iris West doesn't leave dust in her tracks when she puts her mind to it. The news must've gone out."

"Oh yeah," Kara says. "Whatever wasn't on the evening news - all the evening news, local editions, newspapers, television, radio, the lot - has gone around the more informal channels. The cardboard brigade's actually affirmatively telling people, do you know that? They never do that."

"No one in Central likes the Families," Barry mutters. "God, people are going to go crazy."

"People are going crazy," Kara corrects. "All the set-up we've done is helping keep it somewhat contained, but - yeah. The Families are going to have a hell of a time sewing up their deal with this mess in the streets. No way our people get it cleaned up by Election Day."

"Not our people, no," Len says. "But the Feds are coming in tomorrow - and by now, cover story or no, the Families will know about it. There's going to be war tomorrow - now that they know secrecy isn't an option, the Families are going to tug on every string they've ever had, call in every debt, and they're going to try to force this deal down all our throats whether we know about it or not."

"The riots will get national attention," Barry says. "That should help get us more back-up, right? National Guard or something. But whether they'll be in time, I don't know - especially since we've lost so many cops to corruption already, and are probably only going to lose more. There's a chance we'll be overwhelmed. Besides, we still haven't solved the problem of what to do about Wells, who's probably capable of taking down an army or two on his own. What do we do now?"

Len doesn't say anything.

Barry glances at him and sees that he's staring out across the city.

Their city - their beautiful, corrupt, misled Central City, which has the potential to be so much more than it is.

Not unlike all of them, really.

"Len?" he prompts.

"I think the boss has an idea," Kara says. "That's his 'I have an idea' face. I hate the 'I have an idea' face."

"Because it's usually a bad idea?"

"Oh, no, it usually works out. It's just going to be absolutely nuts."

"You're not wrong," Len says, still looking out at the city. "Davners, Barry – I know you’ve been using your powers, but where we’re going, I don’t want you to use them, no matter what the incentive. It's too risky, especially with rotten military scientists in the area.”

“Where we’re going?” Barry echoes.

“Yeah,” Len says. “Kara, can we make our way to the governor's mansion from here on foot?"

"Through the riots?" Kara says doubtfully. "I mean, we could, if we don't mind being shoved around a bit, and with Barry and me making sure no one trips your crutches up, yeah. But why the governor's mansion?"

"That's where the ‘absolutely nuts’ idea comes into play," Len says dryly. "Barry, call Singh, tell him where we're going and our likely route; we need him to meet us there. Now enough talking - let's go."

Going through a crowd of angry rioters without using his powers is basically every bit as bad as Barry would have imagined it to be, which is to say, not unlike Central City mall during the worst ravages of Christmas shopping, only with more chanting and more anger and a lot more people holding sticks to hit things with out of sheer irrepressible rage.

They’re all talking about the Families.

Oh, yes, everyone’s always known about the Families, but no one knew how deep it went. No one knew that everything they trusted to hold back the dark was actually aiding and abetting it.

“The governor’s mansion?!” Singh exclaims into the phone when Barry calls him. “That’ll be a job and a half. Tell Snart he’d better have a damn good plan – the only reason most of my men are at work right now is because I haven’t let them leave. And when they go, a bunch of them aren’t coming back, and it won’t be because they’re cowards.”

Singh doesn’t need to actually say that it’ll be because they’re on the opposite side.

“We’re bleeding morale like crazy,” Singh continues. “At a minimum, Snart’s riots are doing a good job making sure no one leaves Central – we have barricades on all the major highways, but they’ve been reinforced by all the abandoned cars left behind by pissed-off people – but it’s a complete mess.”

“Len has an idea,” Barry repeats, since he can’t give out any details of a plan he doesn’t know the details of. Possibly that’s intentional on Len’s part. “And we have a few, uh, surprises up our sleeve.”

“You remember that I already know about your so-called ‘running hobby’, right?” Singh asks skeptically.

“Yeah, I know, I meant in addition to that.”

“Christ. You know what, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know. Tell Snart I’ll be there.”

Barry hangs up and ducks as someone waves a stick – no, an umbrella – over his head.

“Seriously, dude?” he demands.

“Sorry,” the guy says, looking sheepish. “It was the first thing I could find. Hey, a bunch of us are going to go down to trash the restaurant down on Camillo Street, the one everyone knows is a Family front, you wanna come with?”

“He can’t,” Len interjects. “We’ve got other plans. But remember that the cooks are probably victims too – keep your aim to the blood-bonded Family assholes.”

“Good point,” the guy says agreeably, then raises his umbrella to charge onwards down a side street, accompanied by a small mob of people.

Barry hopes the guy really does keep it in mind.

He shares worried glances with Kara and then they both realize that Len's managed to get ahead of them again and rush (at regular speed) to catch up.

Len might not be a speedster, but he has a way of eeling his way through the smallest possible gaps in a crowd - even with his crutches! - that lets him keep moving at an accelerated forward pace that Barry and Kara have trouble keeping up with.

Especially with the way people tend to cut right in front of them and then slow down. It's enough to drive a man to consider punching people.

Seriously, Barry's been trying not to use his powers for less than fifteen minutes and he already misses it. He can tell from Kara's expression that she, too, would love nothing more than to just leap into the sky right now.

Damnit, Len just darted through another gap and now there's a whole parade between them. How is he doing that?!

This time, though, when Barry and Kara catch up, Len's actually stopped, even though they're less than two blocks away from their destination. Barry can even see Singh in the distance, directing his cops to help funnel the people onto the side streets so as to thin the crowds a bit.

But no, Len's stopped to talk to some guy - an older man, shorter than Len, given to fat and with a nasty expression. He's not marked as a blood-bound Family guy, no tattoos that Barry can see, but Barry's willing to bet he's no good.

One of Len's underworld contacts, maybe?

Barry gets close just in time to hear the stranger saying, "- major opportunity here. With your help, I can -"

"Are you fucking kidding me," Len says flatly.

"Don't you use that tone on me, son," the man warns, scowling. "I know I taught you better -"

"My city is literally on fire," Len snarls. "The Families are going to destroy everything. And all you care about is lining your pockets - no," he adds when the guy steps forward, a threatening look in his eyes. "No, no, no, no. I don't have fucking time for this. No fucking time, no fucking bandwidth, just no." Then he raises his voice. "Officer!"

"What the hell are you doing?" the man hisses.

"What I oughta've done years ago," Len says. "You're under arrest."

"I'm what?"

"Under arrest," Len says. "For criminal conspiracy to commit a robbery and for attempting to solicit a policeman to join -"

"A policeman?!"

"Didn't I mention? Oh, good, Officer Gonzales -" This is one of Singh's guys who heard Len's shout and came running over. "- do me a favor and Miranda this asshole before sticking him down some sort of hole? I can't deal with him right now. Just get him outta my way."

Officer Gonzales blinks, then shrugs. He's a big guy, taller than Len and twice the width, built like a linebacker; Barry's always ascribed the man's easy-going nature to the fact that he’s probably never met anything that could effectively stop him. "Sure, boss."

"You can't do this!" the other guy shouts at Len.

"Just did," Len says, and off he goes again, straight into the crowd.

Kara and Barry exchange exasperated looks and run after him.

"Hey, who was that guy, anyway?" Barry asks, deciding a light jog is the only way he's going to keep up with the amazing forward momentum machine that is Leonard Snart on crutches.

"My dad," Len says shortly.

"Your dad?!" Kara yelps.

"Yep."

"Hold up," Barry says, alarmed. "The one who -"

"Yep."

"Including that time with the bomb in Lisa’s head?" Kara demands.

"That's the guy."

Kara and Barry don't even need to glance at each other to coordinate; they just both spin around immediately to start stalking back towards the man now revealed to be Lewis Fucking Snart, as Barry privately calls him in his head. After some of the stories that Len's told, not to mention this apparent 'bomb in Lisa’s head' business that Barry is totally going to get Kara to explain later, there is no way they are going to let this guy get away with –

"Get back here!" Len yells. "Morons! Both of you! We're almost there!"

Barry groans. Kara does, too.

But they go back.

Protecting Len from current danger takes precedence over getting revenge for past injuries, no matter how grievous.

...barely.

They manage to get into the governor's mansion on account of Len and Singh both flashing their badges and shouting; apparently the governor's security is convinced that no one would have the balls to fake two police captain IDs.

(Also, their not-so-quiet comments of "Is that Captain Cold?!" suggest that Len's nickname is, as Wells predicted, about to become both permanent and widespread.)

Once they get upstairs, it turns out Mick and Iris and Eddie are already there. Even Cisco and Caitlin are there.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Len demands, his eyes fixed on Mick and Eddie. "You were just kidnapped -"

"I sent them ahead," Singh tells him. "They were mostly just dehydrated. Even your, uh -"

"Partner," Mick says, with a testy tone that suggests this isn't the first time he's said it.

Barry doesn't really care, though, because Mick saying that has caused the biggest grin Barry's ever seen on Len's face, and he'd be willing to fight someone to keep it there.

"Well, boss?" Mick says. "Captain Oinks here said something about you having a plan."

Now it's Singh's turn to look testy.

"Glad you're making friends," Len tells Mick, still grinning. "Where's the governor?"

"Through the doors," Iris says. "Along with the Police Commissioner."

"The Commissioner?" Barry asks, alarmed. "Is he..?"

"Currently claiming ignorance," Eddie says dryly. "We're currently pretending to believe him."

"Innocent until proven guilty," Len says, like the world's biggest hypocrite ever, and then he's off again, heading towards the doors. "Besides, we might need him."

That sounds more like Len.

The governor is pacing a hole in her rug, and the Commissioner looks like he's bitten into something unpleasant.

"Governor Kinsley," Len says. "Nice to make your acquaintance."

"You're Snart?" the governor demands. "The one who uncovered this mess?"

"That'd be me."

"Good for you," she says. "Now how do we get out of it? I've lost a quarter of my security staff - and good riddance!"

"They tried to kidnap her," Commissioner Goddard says. He's got some dried blood on his suit, suggesting he might’ve helped stop that attempt personally. "Mayor Bellows's orders - he's gone all the way over."

"Over some adultery?!" Barry exclaims. "Seriously?"

"I think it’s more that he puts the odds on the Families winning," Governor Kinsley says. "And to be perfectly honest I don't blame him."

"I've already called in the Feds," Len says. "They'll be porting in every available hand they have available tomorrow, and they won't have as many corrupt in their ranks."

"I've called the National Guard in as well," the governor agrees. "But it won't help us in the short term - General Eiling scattered them all earlier this week. Training exercises." She sneers. "Because he's in on it too, of course."

"Glad you're taking this personally," Len says. "Because you really ain't gonna like my next suggestion."

"And this is where he goes off the rails, with the rest of us behind him," Kara mutters.

Mick nudges her in the side and offers his hand for a fist-bump, which she returns.

"I'm willing to listen to any suggestion at this point," Governor Kinsley says, scowling. "The Families have been building this for months; we've had under twenty-four hours to react. They're not going to stop with the kidnapping attempts, either, and I have kids."

"The rest of the country has no idea what's going on here," Goddard agrees. "Nor will they care how it gets pacified - whether it's because the Families win or lose."

"Agreed," Len says. "And that's why we need an amnesty."

"A what?!"

Barry can't blame her. Where did that idea come from?!

"Amnesty," Len says. "Forgiveness for crimes caused by the Families in the lead up to this event - not all crimes, obviously, just stuff they can show they were manipulated into in the set up for this. No, don't look at me like that, I hate the idea too, but it's necessary. The Families' biggest weapon is people's fear of the law - an amnesty'll cut off the ones who ain't really corrupt, just dumb and used to taking shortcuts and now getting pushed around by the Families because of it."

"The ones who feel they have no choice," Barry says, understanding. "The ones who are being blackmailed - the regular people, the police, everyone - they think their choice is between the Families and prison, if they stay on our side. If we change what's on our side -"

"We eliminate the effect of the blackmail," Iris breathes. "And then they can come back - or refuse to go over."

"We'd probably stop bleeding police," Singh observes neutrally. "They were hardest hit, on purpose. I'm barely keeping my precinct together, and I don't know how the others are faring."

"Fine," Governor Kinsley snaps, her mouth twisted angrily. "You're right, I don't like it, but I see your point. But you -" And here she jabs her finger at Commissioner Goddard, the man who had prior to all of this been helping the mayor in the primary against her tomorrow in exchange for getting the mayor’s help with his own run. "- are going to sign on whole-heartedly, you hear me? I'm going to be doing this on your express recommendation that this is the only way to stop the ongoing threat."

Goddard scowls, but they've got him on the spot: he hasn't suggested that he can keep his police in line any other way, and to do anything other than his utmost to help stop the ongoing disaster could be read as suggesting a certain corruptibility that it is now in very bad fashion.

Len is smirking.

Of course he is.

"Fine," Goddard finally barks. "I'll sign. But only crimes deliberately orchestrated by the Families, y'hear? We're not granting amnesty to every two-bit pickpocket that stole something in the last year."

"Of course," Len says soothingly, or as soothingly as he can while also gloating. "Just the stuff from the last few months, yeah? When they were building up to this. Only the stuff that happened because of the Families, not in spite of."

"Fine," Goddard says through gritted teeth, glaring at Len. "Singh, I'm putting you in charge -" He says that like he thinks he's putting one over on Len, who pretends to look annoyed about it when Barry knows quite well that he didn't ever want to be in charge. Singh mostly looks long-suffering about it. "- and I want us coordinating with the FBI and anyone else who can help. Let's squash this little Family gambit like a bug."

He stomps off to where Governor Kinsley is already waiting with a swarm of lawyers, ready to retreat to her office to process (create) the necessary paperwork.

"All right," Singh says the second they're gone. "The second that amnesty's signed, we're going to publicize the living daylights out of it and get as many people reassurance as possible - not to mention heavily implying that the Families only got so far into the government and police through their blackmail schemes -"

"That's not really true, though," Iris objects. "Not at the top -"

"I don't care if it is true, it's going to have to become true," Singh says. "The riots need to be stopped. It's already going to be cop-versus-cop warfare out there; we need the regular people to believe something made this an aberration, or else they're just going to destroy everything in an absolute frenzy of terror and rage. We'll never be able to rebuild their trust in the system if this isn't an exception to the rule. You hear me?"

"I hear you," she grumbles, then brightens. "Wait, does that mean my dad's being let out of the holding cells?"

"Yes," Singh says. "We need all the good men we can get."

Wait - Joe's being released? Because they need people, sure, but -

"Given the existence of the amnesty, I'm willing to drop the charges against him," Len says. "Don't get me wrong, he still needs a million hours of remedial ethics - probably everyone does - but what he and his lot did seems to fall under 'manipulated by the Families'."

Manipulated by Wells.

And if Joe's free under the amnesty, then that means - Cisco, and Caitlin, and -

And Barry.

He's going to be able to keep his job.

And not through some corrupt deal that's going to hang over his head the rest of his life, no, but through a (mostly) legitimate amnesty, signed by the governor herself.

(Boy, is Barry glad he never did anything to try to take any of the metas over state lines - that'd make it a federal crime, which is most certainly not going to be covered by a state amnesty.)

Barry is seriously considering kissing Len right now, even though he knows Len would've never done it if it were just for him.

"There's one more thing," Eddie says.

Everyone looks at him.

"Eobard's still out there," he says.

Everyone continues looking at him, a little blankly.

"Wells," Mick clarifies. "Evil speedster. Real name Eobard, remember?"

"Oh, right," Barry says.

"Oh, yes, him," Kara says, pinking up a little. Probably because she forgot about him for a second there.

"The Reverse Flash," Cisco says.

"But I - er, that is, I don't think the Flash can stop him," Barry says, painfully aware that they're not alone. "He's not fast enough."

"Then we'll just have to stop him some other way," Eddie says. "Listen, there's an option -"

"We are not Back to the Future-ing him and that's final, Thawne," Singh says. "Do I need to put you on suicide watch? I will, just watch me. I've split off a portion of my forces just to protect Iron Heights and the courthouse cells; I won't hesitate to split some off for you."

"Yeah, that's a terrible idea," Barry says, alarmed by the very thought. He likes Eddie! Iris likes Eddie! Besides, yes, Wells-Eobard said that he needed Eddie to stay alive, but - "Besides, he totally could've been lying. Like 90% of what he said doesn't make any sense in a time paradox sort of way anyway, so who's to say that this would work? And even if it does, who knows how long it'd take to kick in?"

"Yeah, bad plan," Len agrees. "Scrap it. Now, I don't have my cold gun -"

"You don't?"

"It's still in STAR Labs where I dropped it while being thrown across the room," Len says dryly. "And that's assuming Wells - yeah, I'm going with Wells, Eobard's a dumb name anyway - assuming Wells didn't break it into bits the second after we escaped, that is."

"I still have my present," Mick volunteers, tapping a black-and-red gun strapped onto his thigh. "That'll help."

"We still don't know where to find him," Iris points out. "He's probably not just sitting around in STAR Labs while the city's on fire - he's associated with the Families, isn't he?"

"Sort of," Eddie says. "As far as we can tell, he worked for them as an assassin in exchange for getting all sorts of illegal parts for STAR Labs when he was building it, to make construction happen faster; that's how he said it started when I asked him...don't look at me like that! I was trapped with him for hours and he likes to boast. That's how it started. He'd also been working with Eiling on something - Project Grodd or something, I don't know - around the same time, so he got the idea of putting them together."

"But why?" Iris asks. "Just to get STAR Labs built that little bit faster?"

"That," Mick says, "and 'cause he thinks of himself as a very important sorta guy. He likes being a mover and a shaker, likes being descended from movers and shakers, and he figured a nice little investment in Family power now would pay dividends for generations of Thawnes. No offense."

"None taken," Eddie says wryly. "If I ever have kids, I'm encouraging them to take up anything but politics. Maybe art. Or figure skating."

"My sister's a figure skater," Len remarks. "Bloodthirsty sport. Like hockey, just more spins."

"...maybe not figure skating, then."

"You could also just take my name," Iris says, hiding a smile. "No more 'Thawnes' then."

Eddie beams at her.

"Getting back to the actual subject at hand," Singh cuts in. "I don't have the manpower to deal with the riots and fight this guy as well. Snart, can you and your task force at least try to handle him?"

"We've got it," Len assures him.

"We don't even know where he is!" Kara exclaims.

"That," Len says, "ain't gonna be a problem."

-----------------------

A/N: I'm not saying I won't write the AU where Barry gets stuck in house arrest that you all seem to want, but maybe another time :)

[jaywireblog]

How Did I Get My Red-White-Red Card (Austrian Residence) As a Startup Founder

By John H. Shen

“Ok, that was faster than expected.”

I turned to my co-founder, as we just received a congratulations email from my lawyer about my rot-weiss-rot kart getting approved. The time frame from when I applied to when I got the formal approval took just 3 months, which was much faster than the average we have heard before. 

Gotta Love That Bureaucracy

Having lived and worked in both New Zealand and China prior, I had to say that Austria is much more difficult and process-heavy compared to NZ, especially for those who were not EU residence. We were very fortunate as we were getting a lot of help from the local agencies such as ABA, VBA and FFG. If you are a startup founder and new to Austria, I recommend look them up!

Then, why Austria? So many people asked us this question, mostly Austrians. I always start the answers by throwing bouquets at the cultural vibrance and my love for the local classical music. It always bring smiles to their faces. I mean it though. Vienna is such an exquisite city, always ranked high in the top 10 liveable cities in the world, many times No. 1.

But for our establishment, a FinTech startup founded in Shanghai China, Austria is our gateway to the limelight of the European market. Furthermore, in comparison to other European countries, the support in the innovation sector in Austria is phenomenal. From the public funding to the supports from the agencies, to the innovative and professional ecosystem. It literally took us much less time to find our first 10 beta B2B customers than to open a company bank account. 

Bureaucracy is annoying, but the ecosystem? Awesome!

A Little Bit About Me

I was born in Beijing, China. I went to New Zealand to study as a teenager. Graduated from University of Auckland with BSc - Computer Science in 2006. I worked as software developer, business analyst, then project/product manger. I decided to quit my job in the year 2015, to go full-time in entrepreneurship.

The first few ideas did’t work so well, no surprise there though. Then I met my co-founders in China in 2016. In that very year, I went back to Shanghai, China, to work with the team on the new business, Xencio. 16 years after living in New Zealand.

Xencio China offers corporate treasury automation via AI powered financial intelligence. We sell to many global corporates such as Unilever, Merck, GE, Herbalife, Didi, PingAn China etc. We now have 30 full-time hired hands in China alone. 

We felt it is appropriate in 2018 to explore reconnoiter an opportunity to expand to the global market, and that’s when we finally picked Austria as our hub to the EU market.

To Start a Company, You Need Residency 

Well, as long as you are not an EU citizen, you cannot really work here, let alone start a company. You can actually cofound a company, but you have to be a shareholder owing less than 50%.

But no worries, there’re 3 ways you could use inorder to obtain the red-white-red card which gives authorization to you to be the managing director, work in your business full time and get medical covers and kids to school just like the locals. 

1. Red-White-Red Card Start-up Founder Category

2. Red-White-Red Card Self-employed Key Workers Category

3. Other Key Workers Category

You can find more details from here about the red-white-red card yourself: https://www.migration.gv.at/en/types-of-immigration/permanent-immigration/

The rule of thumb is, for startup founders, 1 is better than 2, which is also better than 3. but 1 is much harder. So if 1 fails, you try 2, and so on. In this post, i will talk about the Startup Founder Category mostly, because that’s the one I did. 

Score Yourself Now!

https://www.migration.gv.at/en/types-of-immigration/permanent-immigration/start-up-founders/

Quite self explanatory, if you are young, tertiary level educated with good english and fair amount of accuaintance with work, you should be eliible with a >50 score. 

In my case, I got total 60 

20 - A university degree (not from Austria) 

10 - Work Experience more than 5 years

20 - English C2

10 - Additional Investment of €50,000, and

10 - Selected to a business incubator in Vienna

I just turned 35 when i applied, too bad I couldn’t get the additional 10 point for age (yeah that age up to 35 means it does not include 35, grrr!!). 

A Lil Hurdle to Get You Started - Frist Chicken and Egg 

Ok, so far so good right? Here comes the fun part:

If you want your application likely to succeed (which you definitely want, right?), you had better have a company already registered. Wait a minute, didn’t I mention earlier you need residency to be the managing director of a GmbH? Exactly! So here you go:

Company <--Dependency--> Director having citizenship or residency

There’re only two possible ways of tackling this: 

1. To apply for red-white-red without having a company (and risking getting rejected), or 

2. To form a company without having residence (the company formation will come to a halt at some stage, but regardless). We chose the second one. 

(actually there is a whole lot to talk about with company formation for non-EU citizens, I will write another blog about it.)

Document Preparation 

While the company formation is underway for me,  I started to prepare my list of documents. 

Let’s start with the easy and pettifogging ones: 

1. Passport and photocopies of passport

2. EU Sized Passport Photos

3. TOFEL Certificates to show sufficient language level (if your citizenship is not from a native German or English speaking countries)

4. Proof of Business Incubator - If you already in one, this is money for old rope. But if you are looking at a foreign friendly incubators to get into, here are some quick recommendations, google them: Global Incubator Network, Vienna Startup Package, Elevate by TheVentury, INiTS, weXelerate, ElevatorLab

5. Proof of Fund - for my case, i need to show a bank statement of more than 25.000 EUR. I also had to show that the new company bank account (Xencio GmbH) has over 50.000 EUR.

Then the slightly more complicated ones:

6. Work Certificates - to show your pertinent work experiences. I literally emailed or LinkedIn messaged all my ex-managers or HR department of my former companies, they were very corporative. Because mine is all from NZ, thus did not need translation into English. Yes English is ample enough for it.

7. New Company Related Files - As company formation was not fully completed, I just submitted all the documents or evidence as could provide. This shows the authority that you are resolute with starting a company, not just saying you would.

8. Business Plan - I will going to a bit more details later about it. you can message me directly to get a business plan for Xencio GmbH which we have submitted for my application.

Comparatively more challenging, these documents need apostille:

(I have documents from NZ and China both needing apostille, I found the one from China to be much harder. Simply because NZ has an E-apostille system, if your home country has it, you’re in luck! For my Chinese files, they need to be translated, notarised and diplomatically apostilled)

9. Marriage Certificate 

10. Criminal / Police Record

11. Birth Certificate

12. University Degrees and Transcripts - After being apostilled, your degrees need to be verified with ENIC NARIC Austria, this copy needs to be in your document too.

Ok this last one is ridiculous:

13. The proof of residential address in Austria 

Yes! You heard right! You Need A Residential Address  - The Second Chicken and Egg

You see, the fact you had to show proof of address as part of your residency application is simply absurd, says the former Minister of Digital and Economical Affairs (https://investaustria.at/en/news/2019/03/red-white-red-card.php). 

What if your application got rejected? What if (and it definitely will be) things gets impeded even after you got approved? Anyway, the only way to maneuver around it is to sign with explicit short to medium term accomodation mainstay or get some local friends who has properties to assist you with. I don’t really want to do any advertisement here, just message me if you want to know the list of these accomodations providers. 

Business Plan, Do's and Don't's

You are an entrepreneur, you know what a good business plan should include. You know, the basics such as:

- Executive Summary - The Problem - Solution - Benefits - Product / Service Description - Market Analysis - Business Development Plan - Competitor Analysis - Financial Planning

As mentioned earlier, please message me to get a copy of our submitted business plan as reference. 

Additional to a good startup business plan, there’re a few more things the authority are looking for: 

1. Micro-economical Benefit - Local employment - so you need to show how your company is going to hire more people in the next 2-3 years. As a startup you need to consider this and make plans for it.

2. Micro-economical Benefit - Concerning Disruption - this one is a little bit counterintuitive. For the authority, If your business is to provide more job opportunities or bring more money to Austria, well that’s just awesome! But if it’s a type of disruption that it simply moves customer from the competitor to you, then it is not considered economically beneficial. This is a fine line though, ideas like uber or airbnb can in theory considered having no micro-economical significance, in subject to how you frame it in your plan. This could be quite tasking

3. Technological innovation - similar to the governmental grants, there is a huge emphasis on technological innovation. The goal is to land more IPs in Austria. In your business plan, the touch on business development and marketing is important, but it cannot be all it is to your business. 

Ready Now? Let’s Submit It!

If you are lucky enough to be from one of the >90 days visa-free countries. You can actually submit your application in Austria. 

For me, applying via a Chinese Passport, even I was in Vienna on a business purpose visa, I had to submit it in China. This makes a huge difference and added additional 1-2 months of diplomatic courier transfer (YES, THAT LONG). 

What Happens After Submission?

The MA35 will do an initial mild check of your documents for sufficiency. Then it will be forwarded to the labour department - AMS. Your case would then be presented and discussed over a jury meeting (this is why the do’s and don’t’s are very important). The jury meeting is the ultimate determination of whether your case is successful or not. It takes up to 8 weeks for a decision to be made by the labour department. 

A notice from the MA35 will be issued that your application is approved, then there will just be more waiting for MA35 to check in detail of all the documents provided.  

Hooray, It’s Approved, Then What?

Again, if you are lucky enough to have a passport that grants you Schengen 90 days visa-free, your red white red card should be ready for collection. For me, unfortunately, I needed to fly back to China again (even though I was in Vienna with a business purpose visa at the time of approval), to apply for a Visa-D so that I could come back to Vienna to collect my red-white-red. 

Ok ok, no more complaining, with all that being done, I finally made it back to Vienna. Picked up the card and business is good to go, hooray!!

Business just started, More challenges Awaits

As I often say to may others, bureaucracy is challenging, doing business is much harder! In my next few blogs, I would like to share more about our journey with hiring, tax, social security, getting the grants, as well as living here as an English speaker (getting the drivers license, kids to kindergarten / school, and renting / buying a house). This is just my first blog. 

Feel free to contact me directly (linkedin.com/in/johntheshen). If you got any more questions. See you in my next blog!

Disclaimer: Information provided in this article does not serve as legal advice of any kind. If you have a particular question regarding the red-white-red card, please consult an immigration lawyer. For the most up-to-date information, please refer to https://www.migration.gv.at/en

[littleredroseonthevalley]

The Embraced

Summary: Amy has gone home with the wrong person, finding herself on a deadly situation. Will someone be able to save her?

Rating: M -  Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16 with non-explicit suggestive adult themes, references to some violence, or coarse language.

Explicit depiction of murder. Mentions of sexual intercourse. Reader discretion is highly advised.

Words: 2241

Notes: A Bloodbound fanfiction. I had this idea with me for a long while, I am a fan of Vampire: The Masquerade, and anyone who has had any contact with the series, should identify the plot as the prologue for Bloodlines.

A.K.A the best 90′s videogame.

Oh, and BTW, this is intended as a one-shot, I’m not sure I can take on any multichaptered fics right now, but if anyone feel inspired to tackle it, feel welcome to write it. I can help beta-ing or something, even.

On with the story.

Amy could swear to the God above, she have never done anything like that before.

She has always been the quiet, cautious type. Staying on her own lane, never taking much risk, rarely going on bar bends Fridays at night, not drinking, least of all doing drugs.

Not going to second locations with handsome strangers. Not having sex with said strangers the night she met them.

There was something about Tristan that was… alluring, too intriguing to ignore, that drew her to him, that made her lower her guard and forget caution for a while, and it was great.

Indulgent people often forget how the smallest of permissible behaviour feels like when you are that repressed. For now, Amy was riding the sweet wave of release and she never wanted to get down.

Finishing washing her mouth after a hot session of love-making and some cuddling, she matted her hair on the places that stuck out from Tristan’s tugging and emerged from the bathroom, wearing nothing else but his shirt.

At the doorstep to the bedroom, she struck a sexy pose, smirking in mirth. “How do you like it?” She asked, in the best impression of a femme fatale she could muster.

Tristan chuckled heartily. “Sexy.”

He was a fine specimen of masculinity, being over 1,80 metres tall and having taut muscles, clear eyes and light hair. He had said he was twenty-two, like her, and was a day trader for a Spanish investment bank.

The young man did not say where he was from, only that he lived in Manhattan, on a studio apartment where he took her for their escapade, but she could notice a tint of accent and foreign manners on his demeanour.

She, then, crossed the distance between the door and the bed, made herself comfortable on his arms and kissed him on the mouth.

“Listen, bella,” He said, nuzzling her neck. “I want to show you something.”

“Stop! It tickles!” She chuckles, unable to control herself. “What do you want to show me?”

“This.”

Then, he bites her neck, hard enough to draw blood. At first, the pain is strong enough that she cannot help but to scream loudly. Soon, however, the hurt ebbs away and is replaced by a sensation of pleasure.

A few minutes into it, and black spots start to form on the edges of her sight. She feels her consciousness slipping away, being taken with a desire to sleep, like if she had not laid her head in days.

Tristan moves his head away and something warm and metallic passes through her lips. A liquid, but not much, not enough for a full gulp.

“Dormís, bella.” She can hear him say, but could not make out what was actually being said. “Cuando vosotros despertáis, empezaréis una nueva vida.”

Amy woke up, breathless. She felt like she could not breathe, and a large intake of air is what signalled her regain of conscience.

It was a strange room, the drawers were drawn, but it did not make the place too dark. She could see perfect shapes, but it was all too colourless, and also very dusty, the flocks dancing in front of her eyes.

Her head was pounding and all her body ached. She also felt very cold, as if she had just fallen on an icy lake, rather stiff and dirty.

“Ah, bella,” A voice came from her left. “You’re awake, and you look fine, too. I am glad.”

She looked from where the voice came and could not recognize at first glance, even if the voice sounded familiar. Staring harder at the face, she could finally place it.

“Tristan!” She exclaims. “What is happening? What did you do to me?”

He looked regretful at her. “I am very sorry, bella, but it was what it had to be done. I couldn’t let you go, you see? So, I had to appeal to extreme methods.”

“What are you even saying?!” Her voice raised and she could feel the rage boiling her blood.

“You were so beautiful, your blood sang to me. I knew I had to make you mine, and yet you didn’t seem to be the least attracted to me when I came to your office.” The man remembers feverishly, as if he was somewhere else. “Hell, when I found you at the bar, you didn’t even remember we had already met.

“I had to do it, I had to compel you, I had to bring you here.” A pause, one which she could hear the sirens outside and people talking on the street. She was starting to freak out. “I had to turn you, so you would have to rely on me.”

“Turn me?” She asked confused. “Turn me into what?”

“Vampire.” Was the response.

Before either of them could say anything else, a banging was heard from the front door.

“It’s them!” He shouts, scared. “How could they know? I was so careful!”

The door was thrown off its hinges, as a few burly men came into the apartment and contained Tristan, who was struggling and shouting. They placed a gag on his mouth and a hood on his head.

Taking him away, they turned to her and repeated the process, but with remarkably ease if compared to her companion. Amy could feel they were strong, and despite fighting to the best of her capacity, it was to no use.

Soon after, with none the wiser, they were taken away into the dark and silence of the night.

Amy was still hooded and incapable of speaking due to the gag they tied tightly on her mouth. She was set on a kneeling position, around half an hour earlier, but oddly, she did not feel any pain or tiredness.

What she did feel, however, was a quenching thirst on the back of her throat, yet, when she thought about a nice, cold glass of water, her stomach made a sick turn, as if it was unnatural and disgusting.

Her mind came back again and again to Tristan’s statement, that he had turned her into a vampire, and it just did not make sense. There was no such thing as immortal, bloodsucking creatures living in the dark, it was preposterous under any circumstance.

Yet, there was this nagging feeling, something that hinted for something have happened to her that she could not quite identify but it was not anything ordinary.

Well, she considered, perhaps a thought exercise would help. If water made her disgusted, she tried thinking about the gory Japanese horror film her roommate forced her to watch some time ago.

Surely enough, the thought of flowing, spilt blood opened her appetite, and it scared her.

“Ugh. He always does that!” She could her a high-pitched, female voice bemoaning. “It’s way past midnight! He insists in making a big entrance like some stupid diva, and we have to sit on our tails, waiting!”

“I have more to lose with this and you don’t see me complaining, do you?” A male voice this time responds. “Just shut up and wait!”

The female ‘hmph’s and keeps her peace. They did not have to wait much longer, as soon after a man’s voice reverberates through the enclosed space.

“Brethren,” He says. “Excuse my lateness. Are we ready to begin?”

A few unamused ‘aye’s are heard, and then the hood is removed from Amy’s head.

They were on a cave, somewhere underground. That would explain the humidity and the echoes on the voices.

In front of her, there were five people looking emotionlessly at her, amongst them very familiar faces like the famous designer Priya Lacroix, who seemed particularly taken with a terrible case of ennui.

Tristan was kneeling next to her, looking desperate. Usually, she would feel compassion, but she was having a hard time feeling anything at all for him.

She could still hear pacing from behind her, but she feared looking back.

“My apologies for disrupting any business or interfering with prior engagements you may have had.” The voice from behind her speaks once more, and the pacing intensify. “It is unfortunate that the affair that gather us together here this evening is a troubling one.

“We are here because the laws that bind our society, that protects our way of living, have been broken. As the current president, I am within my duties to remind you all of the moratorium we, as a council, have imposed on further turnings, and the punishments assigned to those who do not comply to those orders.”

For the first time that night, Amy sees the face of the man who spoke with such authority, and it baffles her to see it was none other than Adam Vega, senator for the state of New York.

He continues with an unchanging tone of voice. “Due to the problem we have been facing with the Feral, and the ever-growing populace of clanless New York has amounted on all of our ninety-so years of existence, all turnings without the strict, express and unanimous authorization of the council has been deemed illegal, and I understand this particular case has not even been brought to attention of his own clan leader.”

“That is correct.” A tanned-skinned, chubby man on the corner of the cave said, forcefully, as if he wanted to ascertain his blamelessness in it all.

“Yes, thank you, Lester.” Adam says with a hint of annoyance and continues his tirade. “Those two were caught shortly after the termination of this youngling’s turning. It pains me to announce the sentence, as, up to this night, I have considered the accused a loyal and upstanding member of our society. However, as you all know, the punishment for this transgression is death.”

A string of ‘aye’s were heard through the cave.

“Know that I am no more a judicator than I am a servant to the laws that govern us all.” Adam says, and this elicits some very conspicuous eye-rolls from some of the spectators. “Let tonight’s proceedings serve as a reminder to all of our community we must adhere to what has been convened, lest we endanger our blood.”

Adam, then, kneels next to Tristan and says, as if trying to be indiscreetly discreet, “Forgive me.”

After that, the senator stands and, in a swift motion, beheads the other man, who promptly turns into dust.

“Which leads us to the fate of the ill-begotten progeny.” Adam says, turning to face Amy. “Without a sire, and more especially, without a clan, most of our kind are doomed to befell the monstrous hunger that condemn us all, to the point that all reason is consumed, leaving only a shadow of their former self, the personification of hunger.” Pause for dramatic effect. “A feral.”

“For that reason, upon great consideration, I have decided to spare her own suffering and especially those of her countless potential victims by executing her tonight.” The politician said, and seemed to motion for carrying out the sentence, when a voice contains him.

“Wait!” It said. “There is another way.”

Adam stares down at the man arguing. “What do you propose, Adrian? That we let her free? Without a clan, she will certainly become a feral.”

“No, of course not.” The man, Adrian, counters, seemed miffed with the mere suggestion. “However, it is to my knowledge some of us have vacancies on their clans. If she has a mark, if she is part of a clan, there is no need to execute her.”

“Perhaps, but you are with a full clan. You cannot be the one to take her in.” Adam argues. “But very well, this youngling is up for adoption. I cannot be the one to take responsibility, either, I also have a full clan, nor does the Baron.

“Lester!” The man calls. “You seem to have just gained an opening, and this girl is of your bloodline. Would you like to take her in?”

The brows of the fat man furrowed in distaste. “Of course not. You have just destroyed one of my most useful underlings. I will not replace him with some girl off the streets!”

“Very well.” Adam agreed. “Priya?”

The designer approached her, circling her and looking at her appraisingly, just like one would do to a horse. Finally, she decided, “Not cute enough.”

“We seem to have ran out of clans, Adrian.” Adam announces, with a sense of sadism. “If no one has any further objections, I now sentence this youngling to…”

Before he could deliver, he was interrupted once again, this time by a regal woman, sitting next to Adrian.

“I will take her.” She said.

“Kamilah?” He asks, confused and in awe. “You wish for this girl?”

“Yes, I have an opening. This should save me the bureaucracy of looking for a candidate and requesting permission.” She responded, unaffected.

It was terrifying, to have your life and death decided by people you do not know in front of you and not being able to weigh in.

Her whole life seemed to flash before her eyes, while the senator considered Kamilah’s position.

“Very well.” He concludes. “I will allow for you to brand her. All in favour?”

Priya, Adrian and Kamilah said ‘aye’, against ‘nay’s from Lester and an odd, grouch man she concludes to be the Baron.

“Four versus two, the motion passes.” Adam proclaims, helping Amy up and untying her. “Welcome to your new existence, youngling. You got very lucky.”

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: Avatar

Hyperbole is a real bitch. No matter what direction it goes in, it can seriously hamper a movie’s reputation. It’s the reason why I always just give a broad recommendation at the end of my reviews rather than a score; I find saying “Hey if you like this genre/subject matter/actor/etc, you might like this film” is a lot better than saying “This is a 10/10 five star masterpiece that all humans who ever shall exist need to see.” All too often the latter is what you get from mainstream publications when they praise a film.

Look what happened to Frozen; it was called one of the better Disney movies in recent memories and was praised to the heavens and back, which led to a bunch of people on the internet vocally disagreeing with said opinion, which then led to an entire anti-fandom of obnoxious basement dwellers who felt the need to constantly remind everyone Frozen sucked on any animation post they could find. All of this for a movie that, in hindsight, is just a solid, standard Disney princess flick.

Tonight we’re talking about a similar case, a film that when it came out was hyped up as a groundbreaking masterpiece of visual effects and a box office smash that grossed insane amounts of money… and was then derided as forgettable and a ripoff of Pocahontas or FernGully or what have you in the years to come. Yes, tonight we are talking about James Cameron’s smash hit, Avatar, and honestly? It’s probably the second best thing named Avatar out there, after Nickelodeon’s series about the last Airbender. After spending years being an obnoxious hipster douchebag and not watching it because it was popular followed by several more years of being an obnoxious douchebag who bashed whatever it was that was popular to bash, I finally sat down and watched James Cameron’s silly blue alien environmental movie… and frankly, it’s a pretty damn good movie. And I don’t just mean “oh it’s better than I expected but not great,” I mean “I can genuinely see to an extent where people were coming from when they were praising this.”

The story goes like this: In the far future, Earth is a polluted pile of fuck, so humans have taken to looking for resources elsewhere. One elsewhere? The moon of the planet Polyphemus, known as Pandora, which is home to a rare mineral that humans ironically dubbed “Unobtanium,” as it is rather hard to obtain due to the richest source being located amongst the native population: the ten-foot-tall blue alien beings known as the Na’vi. Jake Sully, a paraplegic former marine, is selected to utilize a remote-controlled artificial Na’vi body called an “avatar” so he can gain the native’s trust and maybe convince them to move, though there are tons of problems he has to overcome, not the least being that he starts crushing hard on Neytiri, the daughter of the chief (and seeing how she’s a hot blue alien played by Zoe Saldana, can you really blame him?). Can Sully help the humans and Na’vi reach a peaceful conclusion, or is the warmongering Colonel Miles Quaritch gonna get his way and start routing the natives out by force?

Interestingly, a lot of the movies that people claims this ripped off came out after this movie had been written; Cameron’s been working on this movie since 1994, when he wrote up an 80-page treatment for the film. He wanted to start working on this after Titanic, but the technology of the time just wasn’t right to fulfill his vision. Frankly, it’s a good thing he waited, because as I’m sure you know from all the praise it got, the visuals in this film are simply stunning. The Na’vi, the creatures of Pandora, the forests, all the glorious details of this alien planet and its inhabitants are just incredibly well done. If this had been done earlier, there is no way the Na’vi would have avoided the uncanny valley as well as they did; as it stands, they’re probably one of my favorite alien races in fiction, just from the visual standpoint alone. How good this movie looks compared to the story - which by comparison to the groundbreaking effects is rather basic - would almost make you think this film is just style over substance…

...But I’d argue that’s not exactly the case. While it’s glaringly obvious that the effects are the biggest draw, the story is still enjoyable and solid. It may seem rather derivative, but that’s mostly because in the span of time the film took to get made everyone and their mother cranked out environmental films or films about aboriginal people being joined by an outsider who learns from them and then fights back against people encroaching on their way of life, especially during the 90s. This movie quite frankly has an edge over all of those films; for one, this film looks way better than any of them, even Pocahontas (which is undeniably a beautiful film to look at). It also helps this film avoids the, uh… unfortunate implications that often come with these kinds of stories. I’m not here to get to into this aspect of those kinds of movies, but in the hands of less talented writers and directors there tends to be really nasty undertones. While Jake Sully does help lead this foreign culture to victory over their technologically advanced foes, it’s more due to him having knowledge of how humans work combined with the skills the Na’vi themselves have. Neither would have won without the other’s help. So yeah, the story is pretty simple, but pretty good. Not truly groundbreaking or original, but it really doesn’t have to be.

While I will say the story is the weak point, it IS carried by some truly great characters… just not Sully. While he’s a decent protagonist and all, he’s quite frankly overshadowed by just about everyone around him, with three enormous shadows being cast by Grace, Neytiri, and Quaritch. Grace is played by Sigourney Weaver. That is literally all you need to know to understand why she utterly steals every single scene she’s in, but for the sake of this review, let me explain in a bit more detail: her establishing character moment has her awakening from her avatar pod asking where her cigarette is, she openly is suspicious of Sully being added to the avatar program, she is the most honestly sympathetic and noble character in the entire movie, and her avatar is a stunning work of CGI. There’s really not a bad thing I can say about her; she’s basically Ellen Ripley with a more positive attitude towards aliens. She takes no shit and she does all she can to keep these people from being exploited by the greasy corporate shitweasels, no matter what she has to do. What a fucking hero. Can you see why Sully just seems kinda weak in comparison?

Then we have Neytiri, played by Zoe Saldana. She’s gorgeous, she’s badass, and she has quite the likable personality. She almost singlehandedly gives Sully a basic rundown on how not to die and spends most of her early screentime saving his ass. This was one of Saldana’s big roles in 2009 alongside playing Uhura in the Star Trek reboot series, and it brought her tons of praise, fame, and helped get her typecast as “Badass space babe with colorful skin.” Without this, Gamora might have gone to a less impressive actor who wouldn’t have been able to showcase the emotional range required, so at the very least I’m thankful to this movie for that.

And now finally, and perhaps most importantly, we come to Colonel Miles Quaritch, played by Stephen “You wished he was Cable until they cast Josh Brolin” Lang. Quaritch is what seems like such a simple villain: a military man with some serious bloodlust, a guy who just seems to be itching to go to war. But really, there’s a lot more to him than that. One really gets the sense Quaritch really does believe what he’s doing is for the betterment of humanity, and he doesn’t go right to gunning down the Na’vi even when he’s given the word to remove them by force. There are a lot of ways to interpret him, but frankly, no matter what way you cut it he’s at the very least genuinely concerned with the safety of his subordinates (outlined in his establishing scene); this leads him to becoming probably one of the single most badass anti-villains ever conceived. The man frequently steps out into the hostile atmosphere of the moon, holding his breath, to take shots at foes before putting on a breathing apparatus. He jumps out of an exploding plane in a mini-mech, which he uses to get into a knife fight with Sully. And every heinous and violent action he takes is one he takes to protect men from dying, something he has seen far too much of. And while this makes him sympathetic to a degree, his utter disdain of the Na’vi and his bloodthirsty attitude also makes sure you want to see him gets what’s coming to him.

There’s some side characters here and there that are good, but it’s mainly these three carrying the story when it starts seeming a bit too basic for this lofty world Cameron has built. And really, this is a fantastic world he’s created. This is truly a stunning film visually, with some flavorful characters to ensure that the vision doesn’t wear on you throughout the running time. For the most part, it really does work; guess that’s just the magic of James Cameron.

This is a very good film. Not the greatest film of all time, but definitely an enjoyable, ambitious, and groundbreaking one. If I ever make a list of the best sci-fi films (and you know I will eventually), this will most certainly be on there… somewhere. It’s at least top 25 material. While Aliens and the first two Terminator films are definitely the best stuff Cameron has done, this is still quite an impressive piece of pop sci-fi he created; if you like environmental movies, science fiction, creative worldbuilding, awesome visuals, or James Cameron movies, this film is worth a watch. Hell, it’s worth a watch if you’re a fan of Weaver, Lang, or Saldana too, because their performances really drive this film. It’s a good movie, plain and simple.

...Though I don’t think it’s good enough to warrant four sequels. Fuck off, Cameron.

[sungggyu]

180505 / 180506 / 180507 ; “SHINE” fan account

i flew to korea recently and attended all three days of sunggyu’s first solo concert so i’ll be sharing a little fan account! i know this is pretty late since i had been struggling to cope with the surprise announcement the past week but i feel a bit better now and it’s better late than never i guess. :-( be warned that it may get a bit emotional here and there though, as i am still not completely over it so please pardon the sap in advance (´･_･`) if it helps, it’s not as long as the taiwan fanmeet fan account i did last year.. probably half the length of that lmao so here goes!

i’ll be doing a general account instead of going into each day individually since a week has already passed and i no longer remember details for each day as clearly.

before i start anything, i just want to point out that the concert venue is so, so beautiful! it looks really grand and royal, fit for a king i’d say. as expected for a person of sunggyu’s calibre hahaha ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

first of all, not to sound like a sunggyu stan but as expected, sunggyu was amazing. on the first day of the concert, a few friends and i noticed that he seemed to sound noticeably raspy towards the end, which is not surprising considering it’s a solo concert and he is singing by himelf for two hours. what is commendable though, is that on the second and third days of the concert, he somehow controlled it a lot better that it was no longer noticeable and hard to tell even.

i’ve been to a few infinite concerts in the past and i have to say that the atmosphere is a lot different from your usual infinite concert. as sunggyu himself pointed it out as well, this concert is seated and a lot calmer than infinite concerts. here, the only one we have to focus on is sunggyu and his voice alone. i recall sunggyu mentioning a couple of times that he felt awkward because of this as he would feel like he doesn’t know what to say at times. he added that in times like these, he missed the members a lot as they could fill in the silence a lot more easily.

sunggyu was noticeably a lot more tensed on the first day as can be seen by his frequent pauses. at this point i have to add that these pauses were so! cute!! every time he paused to think, he would have this totally adorable blank/thinking expression on his face (it’s unintentional, which makes it even more precious) and the crowd would literally start “aww-ing” collectively, to the point where sunggyu himself starts laughing because he feels embarrassed by the attention hahaha. i’m not even kidding, i have heard so many fans yelling “귀여워!! (cute!!)” during these pauses and sunggyu didn’t even do anything in particular. all these strong reactions just for one blank expression from kim sunggyu. Σ(･口･) on the second and third days, he seemed a lot more at ease and spoke a lot more easily as compared to the first day, which was nice because he even got back his usual self of teasing inspirits hahaha.

i’m sure there have been lots of fan accounts already since there were live audio streams and all but i’ll just mention it again. there was a segment where he would sing “reply” with inspirits as a duet. he once mentioned it on his vlive radio back on his birthday this year, telling us to practise our singing as we will be singing this song together. i just wanna say it was the cutest and most heartwarming thing ;__; compared to other members, sunggyu is not as outwardly expressive of his feelings, including any gestures or words of appreciation towards fans. like, we all know he does appreciate fans but he doesn’t say it often because he’s such an awkward bean when it comes to personal emotions haha. when inspirits started singing in “reply”, his smile was the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen. it was a mixture of happiness, satisfaction, appreciation, love, acknowledgement and so many more beautiful emotions? i would personally say his eyes were the most expressive of them all, they almost seemed to be reflecting stars in them with the way he looked at inspirits. if i could melt, i would’ve melted into a puddle. :-( of course, as soon as the song ended, he was back to his playful self, joking and teasing us anyway he could. at this point, i would also like to add that throughout the three days of the concerts, he seemed so much less guarded than in any of the infinite concerts i have been to previously. maybe it may have been due to the impending military enlistment (although we only found out on the last day) that made him a lot more open than usual, i don’t know? but personally, i find that he was relatively a lot more expressive of his feelings. on the second day, after the “reply” duet ended, some fan shouted to sunggyu asking us how many points he would give to our singing. you know past sunggyu would have straight up dissed us (i have to admit, our singing was in tune and on beat but it wasn’t anything phenomenal) and told us to work on our singing but this soft version of sunggyu gave us 90 points straightaway. fans were all “eyyyy, why not full marks?” and sunggyu defended his decision saying that since there was another day of the concert left, he had to consider the possibility that they may do better than the fans present that day! ever the logical guy lmao. on further prodding, however, he gave in with the the cutest smile and said “alright, alright, full marks” with a little clap too. he became such a big softie and it is so adorable. ;;

as everyone already knows, on the final day of the concert, jongwan, tablo, dongwoo and woohyun performed on stage with him. first of all, we already knew infinite will be there to watch the concert that day because of fan accounts of them getting into a van at a train station close by earlier that day. some may also have guessed that dongwoo will be featuring in the rap for “뭐랬어” considering how different guests were invited the first two days. however, i would say absolutely no one was expecting nam woohyun to appear during “마주보며 서 있어”. for me, it completely took me by surprise that i was stunned for a good few seconds until i finally snapped out of it and pulled out my phone to record it haha. after the song ended, woohyun talked a lot lol and that’s all i can say. he was really there talking about anything under the sun, especially his solo activities. then came dongwoo, who was more or less expected at this point since woohyun already performed for a song that no one thought there would be a feature appearance for. he was amazing, as expected. i gotta add that sunggyu laughs in different ways when he’s with woohyun and dongwoo that it’s cute? with woohyun, sunggyu laughs in the “oh my god please, just stop talking already” way whereas with dongwoo, sunggyu laughs in the “what in the hell is this guy talking about?” manner. it is so adorable! he looked so exasperated(ly amused) when woohyun was talking but with dongwoo he just looked so confused and amused together haha. moving on, the two final guests were the ones that really took the entire crowd by surprise. nobody expected not only jongwan but also tablo to be on stage for a feature appearance with sunggyu. the screams were so, so deafening and if i may add, they seemed even louder than when woohyun and dongwoo came on. i would say it’s the surprise factor? not to mention that it’s not everyday we get to meet not only one but two walking legends haha. i appreciated this stage a lot in that it makes me so proud of sunggyu and all his achievements. from the boy who came up to seoul by himself with nothing but his aspirations to this man singing on stage with the idols that have inspired him to chase his dreams and gave him a chance to stand where he is today. i felt so much motherly pride watching that stage :”) after the song ended, tablo and jongwan talked quite a bit and since my korean isn’t good enough, i didn’t understand some of it. what i got out of it was that they both have known sunggyu since he was really young and were immensely proud of him and his achievements, which echoes my sentiments haha. i think there should be a full translated transcript on twitter if you search hard enough. anyways, from what i could tell with their body gestures, they were babying sunggyu so much and it was so cute ;; sunggyu looked almost shy himself, standing there basking in their words and praises for him haha. towards the end though, tablo was wrapping up his speech and said “our sunggyu..” then went over and gave him a big fat hug and my heart!! ;__; what a lovely sight ;; please give the baby lots of love, yes. ♡

finally, the finale. to say i was shocked was an understatement. for a good few moments i kept wondering if he was joking. he must’ve been, right? how could the notice be this short, how could he say it while smiling so beautifully? after the good few moments ended, however, hell finally came when i realised he was not kidding. ;__; i am not kidding when i say 90% of fans at the venue started crying, me included. :-( everywhere you looked, people were dabbing their eyes, sobbing into their tissues and some were literally bawling their eyes out ugly sobbing. if i wasn’t a mess myself, i probably would even have laughed at that because it was so cute and amusing. throughout the mess going on below the stage, sunggyu was pretty composed and even casual/nonchalent (or was trying his best to appear that way, i believe). after the shock and screams died down enough for him to talk again, he went on to explain that he had actually been trying to tell us this from the first day of the concert or even earlier but that he just couldn’t bring himself to do it and spoil the mood for everyone. ;; he said he’s been worrying about how to tell fans about this as he really didn’t want to make us sad but at the same time, if he didn’t tell us right then, we would only have found out one day before, when the other members were at the airport heading to their schedule in russia and people started wondering where he was. he felt that it would’ve been better to let us know as soon as he could and as that concert was the last available chance he had to inform us personally, he had no choice and couldn’t drag it any longer, hence he let it out there. he apologised and said that he felt sorry, as it may have been selfish on his part because after informing us about it, he is the only party that feels relieve while us fans all struggle to cope with the news. he then tried to console us saying that two years isn’t that long (yes it is ugh ;;) and there are times when even he himself has thought “wow, this person is already done with their service? it felt like they only just enlisted yesterday!” with regards to some celebrities who have already completed their service. he’s such a suave guy, simply telling us that when we miss him, we just have to listen to his songs, watch fancams of him, occassionally think about the concerts that just took place and maybe write him some letters. “that way, time will pass faster and before you know it, i’ll be back!”, he said at the end. ;; sorry if i sound sappy but right there and then, it hit me again “ah, i really love this man. what do i do without him?” i can’t tell if it’s my bias speaking anymore so anyone who reads this can be the judge of that, but he was really, really precious. he takes care of fans so well, even though he may not be as expressive as some of his members. he has such a beautiful character well-balanced between playfulness and seriousness and he is always so thoughtful and plans in advance for situations as such. for accepting his duty without making any excuses and all of the above i’ve mentioned, he is such a huge inspiration and a precious existence to me. i really do respect, admire and love him a lot and i am glad that he had treated this sensitive issue of enlistment so maturely. i look forward to seeing him again.

during the final stage of “머물러줘” on the final day of the concerts, sunggyu sang while looking at fans with such breathtaking tenderness that it made me so fucking sad and emotional. ;__; he gave his rare smile reserved for sappy occassions, the one where there is absolutely no trace of any playfulness, just full of love and affection. he looked towards each section of the concert hall thoroughly, trying to take in as much as possible in the short span of the final song. at one point in the song, right after the bridge, he slowly turned around to sing and honestly? that has got to be the most heartbreaking shit i’ve ever witnessed all year. ;__; fans were crying so much more at this point with the realization that this will be the last stage he will be performing for us in two years and i feel that sunggyu may have turned around to compose himself so that he could finish the song without choking up. (if my ears didn’t fail me, he did choke up though, as he had to cut short an adlib abruptly right after the bridge ;;) really, a cool guy until the end. he really hates having fans see him crying. ;__; there were a few fantaken photos of unshed tears glistening in his eyes though so there’s that. what hurts more is that despite all these, that tender smile and gaze in his eyes have never faded from his face until the end. as the song finally ended, he did what he’s been doing the past few days as well, walking to each end of the stage and then the center to bid fans a final farewell before finally and almost seemingly reluctantly, tearing his eyes off of us and walking backstage.

i keep wondering to myself if there’s a part of him that hopes that fans won’t leave his side since he hasn’t outwardly and explicitly said anything of the sort to us, although using “머물러줘” may have been an indicator of such. whatever it is, i really hope he is assured that inspirits will not leave his side though. ;; as much as i want to, i can’t vouch for all of us but he can have my word i’m not going anywhere. ;__; having been into kpop for nine years and infinite for seven, i have still not come across a single idol that can make me feel the way sunggyu does so..! ;; sorry this turned so personal, emotions happened. :-( if you’ve read this fan account even up till here, thank you and i hope it helped in giving you a more detailed account of sunggyu at his solo concerts(?) i’ll be sharing a few miscellaneous accounts that took place across the three days of the concert at the bottom in case some people may want to skip it!

—

i) 180505 - a chinese fan yelled “我爱你! (i love you!)” to sunggyu and he caught it the first time and immediately said “我也 (me too)”. other fans started screaming because of his response haha and for a moment he thought he heard it wrongly. he asked again “我爱你? 뭐하니??”, thinking that he misheard the love confession as “what are you doing?” in korean. when other fans started echoing “我爱你!”, he finally accepted it and nodded with a little smug yet shy smile. i don’t know how this expression is possible but it just looked that way. only kim sunggyu can pull off expressions of this complexity :-/

ii) 180505 - the slogan event prepared for this day stated “happy birthday sunggyu!”. sunggyu squinted (adorably) trying to read it from the stage and when he figured it out, he went “ah, happy birthday? my birthday has passed though..” in a playfully sad tone. he then thanked fans anyway and shared that he wasn’t alone on his birthday this year as his mom came up to seoul to spend the day with him. he mentioned that she cooked for him and they watched movies together. a fan yelled “must’ve been great!” and sunggyu went “..what..? must’ve been great??” *throws head back in amused laughter* “you sound jealous..” *more laughter* it was such a cute!! sight!!!! he then did his usual of telling fans to go home earlier so as to not worry their parents and to be thankful towards their parents etc.

iii) 180505 - during the “reply” duet, fans counted the wrong beat and started singing at the wrong time. at this point, sunggyu burst out laughing so cutely and held a hand up to stop us from singing. he then signalled us to start singing when our part approached haha. even when we started to sing it right later on and in the next few days as well, he would still break into a smile or a little laugh occassionally when listening to us sing. he would take out both his in-ears too and to me, it was such a warming sight. he would sit there with his eyes closed, both in-ears out, listening intently to fans singing for him, with him. if his eyes were open and he wasn’t in a laughing fit, he would be scanning the crowd thoroughly with such a gentle look in his eyes. it was really, really heartwarming. ♡

iv) 180506 - the special guests for the second day was infinite’s junior group, golden child. i guess at some point in their performance, they shouted “kimsungkyu forever!” and after they left and sunggyu returned, fans started yelling the same to sunggyu. sunggyu gave a little laugh and mentioned that it sounds like “wakanda forever”. he then went on and shared that he hasn’t had time to watch “avengers: infinity war” yet as he had been so busy with preparing for his play and concert. he said he’s a bit of a marvel fan himself so it’s sad he hasn’t watched it. :-( well i sure hope he watched it before he enlisted haha.

v) 180506 - the slogan event prepared by one of his fansites on this day read “thank you for singing for us!” and as soon as sunggyu finished his first encore song, he replied so sweetly and affectionately, “thank you for listening to my songs” ; ~ ; a fan then shouted to him “thank you for being born!”, to which he replied “thank you for giving birth to me, mom” in the most casual manner lol. fans started echoing “고맙다! (thank you!)” to thank his mother as well for giving birth to sunggyu and sunggyu misheard it at this point. he was like “what?? ah, 귀엽다? (cute) you’re saying i’m cute?” (that he is, but he still misheard it haha) and fans started shouting “고맙다! (thank you!)” even more passionately. sunggyu finally caught on and laughed SO! ADORABLY! at his own mistake of mishearing one for the other ;___; he was so embarrassed of his own mistake and was saying stuff like “ah really, it’s not like i wanted to hear that i’m cute or anything.. why am i like that?” with the cutest and shyest laugh hahaha. it was sooooo cute to the point that fans started cheering like they usually would after a song ends because sunggyu was being such a precious little bean. ;;