#(everyone take a moment to thank their god(s)s that i don't have the skillz for a Sleipnir-related Papa Don't Preach vid)

[nostalgia-tblr]

[griffonsgrove]

omg hello!! I saw you post those vox headcanons and wow I was literally kicking my feet and giggling LOL. I also saw you take requests right now! (at least that’s what it said in your rules) and I wanted to request something : D

could I request general alastor headcanons with a GN! Reader please ? :D

Thank you!

General Dating Headcanons | Alastor

a/n: Of course my dear!! I love how Alastor is portrayed in the series, he’s easily one of my favorite characters! I’ve been wanting to do these for quite a bit, so thank you for the request!

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Wordcount: 1991

Cw: Hazbin Spoilers, minor violence, mentions of death, murder

(PLATONIC):

Ah so you managed to capture the attention of the infamous Radio Demon? You should be honored he even considers you worth his time! Not most demons have that luxury, they never live long enough to see.

Al strikes me as the kind of guy who knows everyone, he’s very observant and has eyes everywhere (his shadow friends extend throughout the entirety of the pride ring). He’s got connections in just about anything. He’s bound to have at least seen you once.

That being said, he views other sinners as inferior to him, if you don't have any power, he doesn't really see you as much of a threat (let’s be honest even if you did, he still wouldn't feel threatened)

He’s quite intrigued when he sees a frail little thing like you walk through the hotel doors. You're here on your own free will, seeking redemption? Oh, this will be quite entertaining.

You’re well aware of who he is, having been in hell for quite some time, even before his 7 yearlong disappearance, you knew to be wary in his presence.

It often left you being timid or skittish around him at first.

The deer demon had a knack for popping up at the most inconvenient of times, out of nowhere it seems (perks of being able to shadow travel). He would scare the daylights out of you nearly every time. Whether it was intentional or not, it always got a good laugh out of him.

And that smile…He was always smiling, you can't ever recall a moment where he wasn't, not even a falter. It's definitely an intimidation tactic you think. After all, you're never fully dressed without one!~

Despite this, he’s a charmer. He has this flare about him that oozes confidence whenever he speaks with you, to anyone really. He’s able to talk his way into and out of anything. One of the many perks of being a showman. Alastor is witty, charming and entertaining to say the least. Life is never dull with him around.

And if you happen to be from the same time period?? It’ll only want him to be around you even more! Finally, someone he can relate to in this cesspool.

This man is quite the chatterbox. He looooves to reminisce about the good ol’ days, always talking about how things were in his radio days. He could talk for literal hours and not break a sweat. You’ll often have to politely interject when he rambles on for too long, not that he minds.

Did I mention he can cook too?? Really well, surprisingly. He claims he learned from his dearest mother. He had to put a name to her famous Jambalaya recipe! When you tried it for the first time your socks were nearly blown right off from how much cayenne pepper he put into it. He likes a little spice.

He's!! Always!! Humming!! The man loves to sing, he often finds himself absentmindedly humming old tunes from the 20’s as he goes about his day. Whether he’s out for a stroll, enjoying a nice cup of tea, or running around the hotel, he’s humming.

This has been stated before, but Alastor is not big on physical touch from others unless he's the one initiating it. There have been many times where he’s pulled you into a little dance or twirl while he explains something. It never fails to surprise you each time.

He’ll often use his microphone staff to push or touch something, more specifically someone. He doesn't like to touch sinners that often, God knows where they’ve been. You’ve seen him whack Angel upside the head with it before, the spider tried getting a little too close for comfort. But for you he’ll make an exception.

Very well groomed!! He puts a lot of effort into his appearance, and cares about how he projects himself to the public eye. His hair is always neatly styled to perfection, shoes shined, and is always dressed to the nines. I mean did you see how mad he got when Pentious ripped a part of his coat off?

As the two of you begin to spend some more time together, you find yourself often having little meetups, the both of you would chat, share a cup of tea and just enjoy each other’s company. He liked to sit on the patio, he had a little table, and everything set up for you two.

Alastor makes sure to keep an eye on you regularly. He may have his shadow sneak around and stalk you while you're out. He’ll use the excuse that ‘Hell is a dangerous place!’, He can't have some low-life sinner trying to harm you, that would make him a terrible friend!

Undeniably has a soft spot for you that he’ll never admit aloud, he genuinely enjoys your company and likes having someone around that will humor him and listen to his stories. Grandpa.

Overall, Al is quite a good friend to have, you feel like you can confide in him at any point, he’s surprisingly a wonderful listener. The more time you spend together only strengthens your little friendship. Even to the point where you both will grow to have a mutual respect for each other. He initially scared you at first, given his reputation, but underneath all the ruthless chaos is a true gentleman.

(ROMANTIC):

My man is sooo conflicted at first, He’ll spend hours in his den thinking about his feelings. (We’ve all seen the inside of his room, literally half of it is a swamp). The scenery can only soothe him so much as he contemplates on what to do.

This is probably where you will begin to less and less of him for a time being as he works out his inner turmoil.

But, once he finally comes to terms with these undeniable feelings, he decides to confront you privately, away from any prying eyes. Ahem Angel…

Very old-fashioned, this is where he will properly ask to court you. 

You’ll never know this but he was actually kind of nervous, he was worried you’d reject his offer, but imagine to his surprise when you said yes!! He kind of felt giddy.

Congratulations! You now have a cannibalistic deer overlord as your boyfriend

He’s such a gentleman, I literally cannot say it enough, the man was raised right and he respects you! 

You literally never have to open a door with him around. He holds your chair out for you, always walks on the outer side of the sidewalk, pays for every meal and is constantly giving you compliments left and right. And they say chivalry is dead.

Alastor loves to gift flowers to you. Every few weeks or so he’ll give you a new bouquet. They're different each time, some have a meaning while others he simply thought you’d enjoy. You have a special place in your room where you keep them.

Now that you’re in a relationship, the two of you are basically joined at the hip. Wherever you are, Alastor is not far behind. He doesn't want to admit it but the overlord is kind of clingy. He doesn't like being too far from you.

If there’s ever a reason he has to be away from you, he’ll often have a few of his little imp dolls watch after you. You always thought they were cute little fellas anyways.

The both of you aren't exactly private about your relationship, but at the same time you’re not screaming it out from the rooftops either. Alastor is well aware of the dangers you could possibly face due to his status. He’s made a lot of enemies in his time, and doesn't want to see you get hurt on his behalf.

That being said though, no demon in their right mind would try to threaten you.

God forbid they touch you either. They’d be ripped in half before they could even get another word out. 

He's fiercely protective over you. He tries to play it off as nonchalantly as possible, but you know he cares about you immensely, it’s rather sweet really.

Now about physical affection. Things will go very slowly in the beginning, as said before he's fine with things as long as he's the one initiating it. If you two are out for a stroll you’ll have your arm gently looped with his as you walk down the chipped sidewalks. You’ll have to be extremely patient with him, he’s not used to this “love” and “affection”

If you’re ever having a bad day however, he’ll slip out of his comfort zone for you, and allow you to hold onto him for as long as you please, in the privacy of your own room of course.

One of his favorite things to do with you, is to slow dance. There's something so intimate and special about it. It could be late into the evening, when everyone else had gone to their respective rooms for the night, If you listen closely though, you’ll hear the soft hum of music coming from Alastor’s den, he has you in his arms, the both of you gently sway in a slow waltz across the room to the quiet love songs emitting from his radio. It’s here that you truly savor these private moments with him.

Speaking of music, Al loves to sing to you. Oftentimes it may be a ballad or love song, and if you join in with him? He’ll fall for you even more. 

Cooking! He loves to whip up all his favorite dishes just for you, oftentimes you’ll help him in the kitchen, even if it’s the smallest thing. It's become an annual thing you two like to do together. He makes sure that you get only the best meat that this side of hell can provide.

He’ll often call you a mix of different pet names, here's a few of his favorites: Cher, Darling, Beloved, Dearest, Love, Mon Amour, Doll

Which btw on the topic of meat, Al is canonically a cannibal, he’ll often eat demon meat in his meals, and will have you try it at least once.

Admittedly has gotten slightly jealous of his own shadow. The mischievous thing was always trying to steal your attention away from him, oftentimes it would work, you would always give in and humor him, saying that ‘Even his shadow needed some loving too!’. With a strained smile, Alastor shoots a glare at the inky mass of himself, who just looks at him with a smug grin.

Will have you meet Rosie at least once. She’s one of his other closest friends, and a real sweetheart. At first she comes off as really scary and intimidating. but the more you get to know her, and she's for certain that you wont hurt her friend, she’s much more friendlier. 

You two actually bond together somewhat, having little chats about Alastor occasionally, or about her business.

It’s safe to say that this man would kill hundreds if not thousands for you. You have him wrapped around your little finger. If you ever have someone bothering you, they might as well already be dead, because this man will hunt them down like prey. And eat them too.

Honestly, Alastor as a lover is nothing short of wholesome. He’s so attentive and caring when it comes to you. Which is so refreshing to see, especially coming from one of hell’s most feared overlords. Things will most likely start of slow, but if you’re patient with him, all the hard work will be rewarded tenfold. He had initially thought the Princess of Hell’s Hotel was one of the biggest jokes of the century, but what he wasn't expecting was you to be one of the best things to come out of it. You both were cast down to suffer an eternal damnation in hell, but at least now you can endure it together <3.

[shmalk]

141 is filled with alphas, not a single omega in sight. there are a few betas, but they're either low-ranking or transfers that were never going to last.

like you! (beta!reader) who works at reception and takes calls, scans badges and is the first point of contact for the task force.

none of them know your name, none of them even speak to you - maybe price, when you transfer a call to him, he'll mumble a thank you. or even laswell, when you bring her a coffee.

it's nothing, really, you don't mind.

only, one day, a totally normal friday, you've done the exact same style in your hair you always have, and you're wearing more clothes than you were yesterday.

price wants a coffee, sure- you make it, just the way he likes, and head towards his office. you knock, and wait a few seconds until you hear 'come in.'

the office is silent, it usually is - but this time there's more than just price inside.

they're finishing up just as you enter, soap and gaz sitting in front of the desk whilst ghost leant against the back wall.

"my apologies, captain." your voice isn't exactly quiet - why should it be, you've done nothing wrong, but its still respectful. price just nods as you place the cup down on his desk.

"thanks, that's all." he dismisses everyone in the room, and you wait for the boys to file out before you do, soap and gaz both giving you a cheeky smile.

ghost is the one to hold open the door, standing just adjacent to the doorway with his arm sprawled against it. its a heavy door, and you swallow as you pass him.

"thank you," you all but mumble out as you rush past him - straight into the break room.

you can't help but rant about the situation to your roommate whilst you're packing up your things, your phone tucked between your jaw and shoulder.

"i mean- he held the door open for me and i couldn't even look him in the eye to say thank you!" you stress, throwing your bag into your passenger seat before leaning back against your car. "god, all i wan't right now is a plate of sushi and some boba."

"too bad its pizza night, dweeb."

"thats not fair! i could loose my job, i should be allowed to eat my comfort food when im stressed out."

you stress about it over the whole weekend, and when you return back to work on monday you try to act as casual as possible. of course, you don't see ghost - price doesn't order a coffee, and youre break time comes around quicker than you expected.

you had brought- oh, theres- your favourite sushi, and a boba drink sitting where your food was supposed to be. in somewhat messy hand writing, on a small piece of paper, theres your name.

signed ' s. riley. '

i am a sucker for sweet lil moments like this !!

in my head i think that simon would like a beta, or an alpha, but in this lil snippet (which is CERTAINLY getting turned into a fic) he's big and broad and gets worried when he's with alphas because they can't think straight, he tells them what to do and he does it.

but you? you dont react to his scent or chase him down to get him to court you - so, of fource, he courts you. <3

[harrysfolklore]

ring hard launch - blurb

the content we got today just SCREAMS fiancé!harry for me so i came up with this, enjoy !

gif by @sunkissedlouis <3

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

If there was something that was definitely at the top of your list of favorite activities, was spending time with Harry.

It didn't matter if it was getting groceries, joining him for a bike ride or simply laying on the couch together, every moment that you spent together brought you contentment and joy that you couldn't find anywhere else.

And now that he was your fiancé, it was safe to say that both of you wanted to be glued to each other every single minute.

Harry proposed the morning of New Year's Eve, in the comfort of your home with both of you in your pajamas as you enjoyed homemade breakfast bagels, and it was absolutely perfect.

Ever since, you had been happier than ever, sharing the news with your family and closest friends and enjoying your engagement in private without prying eyes from paparazzi, fans and media.

"We better win tonight," Your train of thought was interrupted by Harry's voice, you were currently heading to the Luton vs Man United game, and even though you couldn't care less about football, your need to be close to him all the time made you say yes when he asked you to join him, "Thank you for tagging along, baby. I know this is not your scene so it's nice you came."

"I'm just here for the drinks and snacks," you teased, watching him roll his eyes at you, "And to enjoy the evening with my handsome fiancé, of course."

"There we go," he smiled now, grabbing your hand and placing a small kiss to the ring on your finger.

Ever since you got engaged, that had became his favorite habit, and it made your heart flutter every single time.

"It sucks that I have to take it off," you said, making him look at you with a raised eyebrow, "The ring, I mean. I have to take it off before we get out of the car, otherwise headlines will go crazy and Jeff is going to freak out."

"Mm-hmm," he paused to think, eyes darting for the road to you, "What if... you don't have to take it off?"

"What do you mean?" you said, noticing that you were about to enter the back of the stadium.

"I mean..." he grabbed your hand again, tugging the ring affectionately, "What if we let the world know about it? I talked to Jeff and the rest of the team last week, they said we could make it public whenever we felt like it, at our own terms. So why don't we do it today?"

Harry parked the car at the spot that was reserved for him and turned to look at you with a wide smile, waiting for your answer.

"Are you sure?" you smiled back at him, noticing the glow in his eyes that almost made you melt.

"Couldn't be more sure, love. Besides, the album is coming soon and everyone is going to connect the dots as soon as they listen to the first song, might as well give them an early heads up."

"Let's do it," you said, leaning over to kiss him, "I feel like everyone is going to focus on the fact that you're finally outside and with brand new hair, they won't even notice the rock on my finger."

Harry rolled his eyes again and gave you another kiss, "I swear to god, woman. You're something else."

You headed inside of the stadium to the VIP suit you were going to watch the game in, walking hand in hand with your engagement ring glistening on your finger, cameras around filming and taking pictures of both of you.

"Do you think twitter is freaking out yet?" you asked Harry as you settled on your seats.

"No idea, baby, I don't use that app," he shrugged, "Do you want anything to drink?"

"Would you get me something fruity that has alcohol that doesn't quite taste like alcohol? That's the only way I won't be bored to death."

"Sure thing." Harry laughed and kissed the side of your head before standing up to get your drink, coming back a few minutes later with exactly what you asked and a bottle of sparkling water for himself.

"So we're rooting for Man U, right?" you asked as you took a sip from your drink.

"Seven years together, months away from getting married, yet you still don't know I'm a Man U ride or die," he put a hand on his chest, "I don't think this is going to work."

"I was just teasing, drama queen," you pecked his cheek, "I know your true loves are Man U, the Green Bay Packers, peas and Fleetwood Mac."

"And you," he winked, making you roll your eyes with affection and take another sip from your drink.

A few minutes into the game, you found yourself quite invested on it, constantly asking Harry about the stuff you didn't understand and getting nervous when the other team was about to score or your team missed a goal.

"Lord, I don't want to watch," you said as a player from the opposite team was getting ready to hit a penalty, hiding your face against Harry's shoulder, "Harry! You're supposed to be watching the game, you've been staring at me for half of it now."

"Sorry, you're just too cute," he kissed the crown of your head, "You can watch now, he failed it."

"Thank god."

By the end of the game, you were both on your feet, cheering as Man United secured a win. Harry was ecstatic, and you found yourself caught up in the excitement, cheering alongside him.

While you were engulfed in your own bubble during the game, cameras has caught up on the ring of your finger, and Harry and you immediately became a world trending topic, with fans speculating whether you were actually engaged or not.

As you laid in bed scrolling through the millions of tweets about the game Harry finally emerged from the bathroom, ready to get in the covers.

"Are you reading about us?" he asked, sliding into bed beside you.

"Yeah," you replied, showing him some of the tweets, "But I don't think it was quite clear for some of your fans, some of them don't think we're really engaged."

"Well, I guess it'll be clear when the album comes out."

[kithtaehyung]

broken, pt. 2 (3tan) (m) | myg

title: broken (pt. 2) pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series:masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted | broken (pt. 1) rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: the championship game lights up... and everything goes down. note: not too much to say other than thank you. this part is definitely another very, very close one to my heart. please buckle up and enjoy the ride. warnings: [spice warnings under the cut] language, angst, tension, alcohol mention & consumption, fights, basketball!yoongi🧍‍♀️, cocky!yoongi, jimin😳, tense situations, did i say angst?, long hair yoongi, crying, bro😀, reader is a real one i don’t make the rules, arguments, the chains stay on(???), …bad boy yoongi😀👍, saying softhours puts some of this lightly, bro🥲, blood/wound mentions, hurt/comfort, there’s just a lot in here y’all idek, taehyung being the best ever, …angst. drop date: february 9th, 2024, 10:37pm est word count: 17.7k my god

smut warnings: cursing, choking, light slapping, breast play, angry s*x a ha ha, crying, multiple explicit scenes y'all istg don't perceive me lol, c*nt slapping, penetrative s*x, brat!reader, protected s*x, edging, consent king ofc :), rough s*x, b*cksh*ts and a lot of them, ...unprotected s*x (yeah it's here and y'all better be responsible or so help me!!!), f*ngering, or*l (m/f rec), brat tamer!3tan yoongi!!!, reader loses themselves for a sec, but yoongi is a king, pain k*nk whewwww, kissing, so much kissing lmfao, c*m play, slight bond*ge (yoongi hands), spanking, aftercare ofc :'))

-

-

There’s no way.

How the fuck is he here? When did that horrible excuse of a guy even join a team? Had he been playing intramurals this whole time? 

“No fuckin’ way.”

Your eyes find your brother standing rigid at your side, wrists tensed to hell and shoulders spiked. Did he not know he was playing, either? Judging by his smoldering question, you’re going to guess he wasn’t aware. 

“Were they always on this team?” 

“No.”

“I don’t remember them being on any teams.”

They? Them? So they recognize more from the court on that day you try to not think about. Shifting your vision, you start gauge reactions under sounds of the growing crowd. 

It’s Yoongi that looks at you first, eyes lowering to the hand you still have on your arm damn it you should be okay about that night already. But you can’t seem to let your limb go, your fingers covering it in a weak attempt at protection and resilience. 

The blaze in his eyes makes you shake. Even as you swallow your pleas for everyone to just go home, he doesn’t look away. Instead, he walks over to stand in front of your knees, motioning for you to scoot over one so he can take the end seat.

Normally, you would slightly question why he wouldn’t just sit next to you. But this time, you’re hyper aware of what he’s doing—and why. It’s so obvious that you wanna reach out and grip his sweaty hand. 

Yoongi absolutely sat there to shield you.

And your heart burns and burns.

If only he could do more, be more, show more. Because with a rattled ego and tainted mind, you’re already yearning for his touch, wanting him to whisk you out of here and bring you back to the comfort of his home—just like he did that night. 

God, he makes you dizzy doing absolutely nothing. 

“What’s the plan,” he asks, eyes on the court and palms between his knees.

“Dunno yet.” Your brother shakes his head before looking back, eyes narrowing at the laughs on the other bench. “But I might get my ass thrown out if we—”

“Play.” 

Immediately, all three of them snap their heads your way. Fuck, your arm is still… 

One person cannot have this hold on you. There’s no way you’re going to let him control your every waking moment, and your determination bubbles into your commands. “Play the game and beat his ass,” you seethe, holding yourself together and aiming daggers everywhere. “Just make it quick.” 

Yoongi gives you a look before Jimin snags him with an eyebrow raise. 

“And you’re paying me double.” 

Looking at the man beside you, it’s almost comforting seeing his attention fully on your face. If it weren’t for your ghost on the other side of the scoring table and your brother standing there, you wouldn’t hesitate to kiss him. 

But you only nod, getting a huff and a lopsided curve in response before you watch him lock eyes with your brother, “What do you wanna do?” 

After a long, resigned sigh, your sibling finally relents, “Fuck this shit up.” 

Good. Yes. This is what you want—for you and them. “Exactly.” 

Scanning around the tight circle, you notice that you have everyone’s attention. 

But one person seems to send a question without any words at all. In kind, you answer the same way, wings battering your stomach when all of them send thunder to the court with lightning in their eyes.

Yoongi scoffs through a slant, carrying the air of someone you never want to mess with in your fucking life. “The fuckin’ nerve.” 

Jimin hums, sliding a finger along his flexed to hell jaw. “Bold,” he adds. And his voice drop sends shivers when he turns to you,

“Don’t worry, love.” 

You stare.

“This will be over soon.” 

-

-

The game is… just a game. For now.

No one’s taunted hard other than a few smirks and winks, and right now it seems as if both teams are just being competitive more than antagonistic. Which relaxes you to the point where you’re cheering from the bench with the other players—and their coach that arrived late—jumping and yelling and clapping when things go in their favor.

Your brother’s slamming down dunks. Jimin’s been playing amazing defense with his quick reflexes and high stamina.

And Yoongi? Has gotten sickeningly sharp. All those late nights at the rec center are paying off in this championship and, when he scores a hard shot, the pride you feel launches you to your feet. 

“Nice job, b—” Oh fuck you almost shout something that should never be public knowledge. Holding your tongue, you quickly switch it up with a hasty, “Let’s go!” 

That was close. Way too close. 

Get it together. 

But you cannot help it right now. Seeing Yoongi facing off against the man you both wanna square up against? And making it look easy? The fluttering you feel in your belly grows double. Triple. Tenfold. His gestures, the way he acts like it’s nothing, his shrugs at their failed attempts to stop him—everything’s making you scratch proverbial walls and kick bench chairs. 

And it’s not just him—the whole team has been playing excellently. Each play seems intentional; every pass and movement is strategic. If you didn’t know this was a casual rec game, you would think they’re gunning for a real, prestigious trophy. 

However. 

When it’s starting to be very clear who the better squad is, that’s when things start getting more than tense. 

On a foul call, both sides start getting in each others’ faces. And you peg that as normal until someone on your team gets shoved and your brother immediately gets between the action. 

Both you and the coach shoot up from your seats. 

Shit, shit, shit. If there’s one thing your older sibling’s gonna do in this game, it’ll be finding any excuse to deck that man in the face. And once that happens, there’s no telling how many injuries are gonna walk off polished floors.

Thankfully, everyone separates without a ruckus, and timeout is called on your side. The crowd starts to yell in favor of either team, and that’s when you notice that Taehyung has been joined by Shiv and your friends. From the looks of things, all five of them are laser focused on you. 

You hold a quick thumbs-up before you’re covered by hot and sweaty men huddling around the bench. And you immediately agree with their coach when he barks, 

“I need you all to calm down.” 

“No can do, coach.” 

“Not if they aren’t.” 

Shit. All of them look fucking livid, not giving any shits whatsoever if they’re willing to talk back to their leader. What’s really been happening on the court? Has it been even more tense than you perceived? 

Oblivious to the context behind this matchup, their coach keeps yelling, “Look, I don’t give a shit if you have something to settle. Play the game and leave it on the floor. Understood?” When there’s charged silence, he yells it even louder. 

And a smattering of agreement comes out before all of you hear an even bigger yelling session booming from the other bench. When you look over, it’s quickly noticeable that they’re getting reamed over there, too. 

Jimin watches before speaking, and it seems like your coach’s pleas fell on deaf ears, “Fifteen went for my legs.” 

“Saw that. Let’s switch cus he can’t guard me.” 

“K.” Park swivels his head to address someone else. “You good to keep playing?” 

Your brother responds with a nod, wiping his never-ending sweat. “Yeah, I’m good.” 

Huh. Even though you know he’s mad, the man seems… Calm. Eerily calm. It’s reminding you of the way he acted after you came home from Yoongi’s. 

And you don’t like it one bit. 

But the timeout is over, and both teams eye each other on their walk back onto the court. As it continues, the gym erupts into life again, with a bit of back and forth shots racking the scoreboard up. 

And Yoongi keeps scoring. And scoring. And scoring. 

Which lands him in a bit of trouble when the same idiot from Dalo pushes him during a layup. After he manages to make the shot, Yoongi immediately flicks him off—which gets a whistle blown. Which also means he has to sit on the bench for a second because his coach is pissed. 

Ignoring the scathing remarks being thrown, he dumps himself next to you. And you immediately feel the heat roll off of him in waves, trying hard to focus on the game. “Don’t be stupid,” you jut out. 

“What?” 

“Don’t be stupid. These guys aren’t worth it.” 

“After what he did to you?” 

The way those words leave his mouth ice you over, flares spiraling through every fiber of your being. Your reaction is so visceral that you can barely get your response out, “Yeah, but…” 

Leaning on his knees, Yoongi wipes his forehead with a crinkled to hell jersey, excess sweat pinging onto his sneakers. The crowd is loud and the buzzers even louder, but they aren’t enough to drown out his bite,

“I can’t let that shit go.” 

“Yoongi.” 

“Sorry, doll.” 

“Please just—” 

Yoongi leaves the bench before you can finish, and you whip your head in a rush, hands jutting out in a desperate attempt to hold him back. 

Only for him to be just out of reach. 

-

-

After halftime, it’s a whole different game. 

From an outside perspective, it’s as if everyone was using the first half to sniff each other out, circling around each other before deciding how and when to go in for the kill. 

And Yoongi isn’t the only one that you’re starting to worry about. Jimin, your brother, and even Rohan and the other guys are on edge, playing hard and doing everything they can to keep their scoring lead. 

Both you and their coach know you can’t stop whatever’s going on out there. And you’re starting to feel yourself getting angry at how your brother and them are egging the guys on. 

Why are they taunting? What the hell is making them so bent on making the other team pissed? Yes, all that went down with you, but nothing else had happened since then. And they clearly aren’t listening to anyone telling them to calm down.

If they end up starting shit you are going to—the fuck! 

Yoongi gets straight shoved again as he goes for a layup, and you shoot up in your chair as he hits the back wall with a thud. While the players at your side are yelling and everyone on the court starts grouping in shouts, you stay rigid, solely watching Yoongi eye his attacker—the same idiot from Dalo.

Fuck everything, you wanna rush into the fray and throw hands yourself because that looked painful.

The only thing that’s stopping you is the chilling fact that Yoongi is… Grinning. 

Wiping his curved lips, he waits while the refs break up the squabble, still looking triumphant as he walks to the line to shoot his free throws. When both of them are made, he stares directly at your assaulter—as you finally call it like it is—and doesn’t stop even when the coward looks away.

A whistle blows, and the game continues to be close. Too close, too close, too close. A couple more timeouts let you see just how laser-focused everyone is, and you’re a little shaken when it feels like they forgot you were even occupying their bench. 

What the hell is being said on the court? Even Jimin is brimming with anger. 

But after a few back and forths, Yoongi passes to your brother for a hard dunk, basket ringing from his throwdown and shaking when he lands. 

Thank god. Those points are enough. They’re gonna win. 

All the pent up anxiety you’ve harbored all game releases as everyone starts cheering, and your pride soars as your boys stare down their opponents while the clock winds down.

It’s over. The game is over, nothing too serious happened, and you can all go the fuck home to eat dinner and celebrate. 

Your eyes catch Yoongi throwing a rudely lopsided curve across the court. Even when Jimin comes up to push him back in excitement, his expression doesn’t change. 

And you find that wildly, unfathomably attractive. 

Then, as it goes, your brother comes up and they all share quick daps, eyes ablaze and not letting the losers out of their sight. 

Well. All of them are infamous for a reason. You would guess their energy altogether certainly contributes to that. Because the aura you feel oozing from them fills the gymnasium all the way up to your knees. 

And the sigh you let out mingles with their coach’s shake of his head.

-

-

Things are still tense as they all shake hands—or at least offer hands to shake—with the other team. The atmosphere is even a little iced when they receive their trophy. 

But the way you’re currently being surrounded as your guys converse hides you from plain sight, so you feel heavily protected. Even Jimin, who’s usually cheerful even when exhausted, wields sharp eyes as he keeps glancing over his shoulder. 

Honestly? You wouldn’t know what to do without them. Both your brother and all his friends, good pasts or not, are great people. They didn’t need to shield you like this. But they’re doing it anyway, because they won’t give that lowlife another reason or chance to approach you. 

Yeah. Your older sibling knows how to choose his circle.

It’s making you wonder if… 

Nah. 

That’s still too big a reach. 

When it seems like all of them and their cheering squad are gone, everyone starts making their way over to the bleachers—and you’re acutely reminded of what went down under similar looking ones the other night. 

Your shivers are overshadowed by Yuri’s telltale screams to Rohan, “You were so good, baby! Are you okay?”

Reia and Dom shake their heads before focusing on you, the latter being the spokeswoman, “So what was all that for?”

“Don’t ask,” you sigh, knowing exactly what she’s referring to. “I’m just glad they won and that we can go home.”

“You’re not coming to Yuri’s?” Reia asks. “I thought we planned on that, no?”

Ah, shit. Earlier this week, you did make plans with them without really thinking about what day they were gonna fall on. But now you’re so mentally drained that you kinda just wanna go—

“Is anyone else starving? I’m hungry as fuck!” 

Right. Food. Adrenaline made you forget you were starving. Glancing towards your brother, you quickly remind him, “Yeah, me. And you’re paying.”

“Ah, shit, that’s right.” As he lets out a hard groan and deals with Jimin and Yoongi’s comments, your sibling relents, “Alright, where are we going.”

“Up to you,” you shrug, stealing a little look at the man you want to kiss like hell for his performance tonight. 

God, Yoongi’s so handsome. As Jimin leaves his side, he silently wipes his forehead of any excess sweat, hands and shoulders shining in the lights wait wait wait. Hold on. 

Walking over, you toss any care about who notices you out the window. And as he eyes your approach, you murmur with care and concern, “Is your back okay?” 

Blinking once, twice, the man nods. “Yeah, it’s all good.”

“You sure? That looked…”

Of course he decides that now is the perfect time to rake his sweaty locks back. Speaking so low that only you can hear, Yoongi reassures with a fist full of hair, “I’m fine, doll.” 

Motherfucker. 

Pinning down your urge to reach out and smother him, you only breathe relief. And before you move away to put some distance between, you whisper, “Thank you.”

Yoongi looks your way again. “For what?” 

Swallowing what’s left of your anxiety, you sigh. “For not getting into it out there. I was about to get mad as hell, but.. Looks like they were all talk.” 

“Mm.”

Honestly? It’s a miracle. The game’s over without any hitches or brawls? More relief starts blossoming in your chest, prompting a smile to grace your features. “You looked so good out there, by the way. I almost called you ba—”

“What are y’all talking about over there!”

Your mouth snaps shut as soon as you see your brother watching, but Yoongi is quick to fire off an insult, “The way you always take so long to pick something.”

“I picked already!”

“Then let’s go then.”

Laughing, you join the whole crew as you’re all the last ones to walk out. Your friends and Shiv parked in another lot since one side was already full, so you tell them you’ll meet at the restaurant.

Some other teammates decide to join, with jerseys being shucked off as everyone heads out the door. Immediately, body odor swoops into your nose, making you welcome the crisp, fresh air of night. 

Scratch that. You smell oncoming rain. 

Conversations cease, which only leaves the sound confirming your observation: booming, rolling thunder. Stopping at the edge of the gym’s awning, multiple heads turn up at the rumbles, watching lightning crack the sky. 

In front of you, Jimin shifts his head to the side. “Still?” 

And when you look at who he’s asking, you see Yoongi nod. 

Weird. 

But it’s not raining just yet, so all of you make your way into the lot and to your cars. As you do, you check your phone while making your way over, aiming a question at Tae, “You know where we’re going?” 

“Yeah, it’s not far,” he responds, fishing out his own device. “I think we’ve been there before.” 

We? Looks like things are progressing nicely over there. Since you’re lingering behind the guys, you start to take a small jab, “We, huh? Cute.” 

Lips spread as tight as his eyes, Taehyung parries. “Cute? Look who’s talking, miss whipped.” 

“You’re whipped.” 

“No, you.” 

“No, you,” you giggle out, reaching out to tickle Tae’s side and laughing as he flinches away. You chase him for a few seconds before you see his whole body freeze completely, asking a small question before going quiet.  

And when you slowly follow his line of vision, your heart freefalls to your gut, smashing it so hard you feel bile sting the back of your throat. 

The man from Dalo. And all the guys from the court plus some. 

Surround both Jimin’s and your brother’s cars.

Fuck. Oh, fuck, there’s so many of them, standing and waiting and unflinching in the bursts of thunder inching closer and closer what the fuck are you gonna do— 

“Taehyung.”

Your eyes shake. 

“Get her out of here. Now.”

And you’ve never screamed so loud. 

Every word rips out of your mouth before you’re promptly shushed by large fingers, icicles pinging around your heart and holding it down, “Don’t fucking do thi—!” 

To your horror, Tae’s already hauling you back, voice low and firm in your ear, “Come on.” 

“No! What the fuck—” 

“We’re leaving.”

“Please—!”

There are so many of them. So, so many of them. Panic drowns out your words and excess leaks out of your eyes, your own storm preventing you from seeing that your best friend is just as torn apart. 

“Babe, we have to go now.” 

“No, let me go!” 

They’re outnumbered. What if they have weapons? What if the police are called? What if something happens that you aren’t prepared for?

You’re screaming. Curses, their names, or whatever whatever you don’t even know what the fuck you’re saying because your toes are kissing the edge of madness. 

Dragged a good distance away, your yells devolve into incoherency, your nose and eye sockets smashing into Taehyung’s solid forearm so hard it hurts. 

Make it out, make it out, make it out. For the love of everything in the fucking universe and beyond it, make it out alive. 

Some movements and backs straightening are the last things you see before getting pulled around the corner.

And when Yoongi calmly rolls one of his shoulders, you feel a wick of your soul burn out.

Panic. Worry. Panic and more panic. The car ride that Tae paid for is the blurriest muddy water you’ve ever waded through.

Truthfully, you don’t even remember blankets being pulled over your shoulder. Where even are you? Oh, you’re in a bed. Whose bed are you in because this isn’t yours. But what does it matter anyway what does anything matter anyway nothing matters there’s nothing you can do you gotta get up and go back over there get up get up go—

As soon as you yank his bedroom door open, Taehyung is there, holding you back and pushing your frantic energy back inside. “Tae, if you don’t let me—”

“Do what!”

“I’m going back!” Wrestling out of his strong hold, you bolt down his hallway, head clanging as your shoulder bumps into a wall. “We need to go back—”

“Stop!” You hear running as you burst through the living room, whizzing past the glowing television. “We have to stay here—”

No no no. There’s no way you’re staying here when you need to be back at that lot. Who the fuck would call for help if anyone needs it? When they’re gonna need it? Your vision proves so blurry you can’t even find your shoes—

Arms wrap around your waist and you fight back with a scream, “Let me go!”

“Stop and just think for a second—”

“Why aren’t you with me on this, they’re—”

“Dumb as fuck!” 

Your friend’s quick comment is so sharp it cuts your breath. As you still in his firm but comforting hold, you finally stop to breathe. Breathe, breathe, breathe as you’re turned to level a look with his eyes.

Eyes that are red-rimmed and so, so raw. “They’re idiots,” Taehyung grits out. “But they will be alright.” 

From the shake of his voice, you find that neither of you think that for sure. 

“I need to.. To…” Your breaths are ragged, energy spent and head dizzy from your quick exit from his bed. As you come down from your volcanic high, every weight the world places on your back proves too much. 

“You need to relax,” Tae advises, guiding you further back inside. And you don’t speak as he leads you past the couch, past the pictures on his hallway wall, and into the dark of his bedroom.

Maybe it’s over. Right? Maybe someone will answer if you ring them up. “Call. I need to call…” 

“Shh,” he soothes again, walking you backwards away from his door. When the bends of your knees hit his bed, Taehyung lets you down slowly until you’re sitting. “I’ll do it.” 

Brain fried from hyperactivity, you can only nod. 

Your friend steps away to fiddle with his phone, the light illuminating his beautiful features in the night. When he holds it to his ear, this is when you hear rain and the television in the living room, noticing that it’s playing a movie he watches for comfort. 

Shit. He’s going through it just like you are, and yet he’s still finding energy to calm your nerves? What have you even done to deserve him?

Guess you know how to choose your circle, too. 

Going unanswered, Taehyung lowers his hand, thumb rubbing the homescreen before gripping the device hard. 

Both of you are in the same boat. So steer when he can’t do it anymore. Soft but assertive, you rise to your feet, offering your embrace while calling his name, “..Tae.”

When he turns, the man wastes no time in dropping his phone to bring you in close. “It’ll be okay,” he murmurs, and you hear his words on your head but feel the trembles in his chest. “Okay?”

Feeble fingers grab at his soft shirt, and you bury into his scent while soaked and tired eyes shut. 

You want to believe him. You do. You do. 

But hope may be a bitch. 

So you don’t. 

-

-

Forever passes while you both lie still in his bed, with Taehyung holding you close and keeping you subdued with notes of honey and wood. You both try to have conversation, but it’s disjointed and manufactured, so giving up is a group effort. 

You’re about to give up on a lot of things before you both jolt at Tae’s phone vibrating. 

The world shifts quick as you both sit up, the call immediately being accepted and a low greeting whooshing at your side, “Hey.”

With bated breath, you hear Jimin on the line. “Hey.” 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, we’re all alright, but…”

We. We, we, we, all of them thank the fucking world. As your breath is held, Taehyung’s voice is solid, “Say it.”

“My eye is pretty fucked. Yoongi’s face is cut up and he’s got some nasty bruises on his—” 

You don’t even remember yanking the phone to your mouth. “Where is he.”

Jimin audibly pauses on the line before having the audacity to chuckle. Irked and feeling ire bubble back to the surface, you seethe, “This isn’t funny, Park. Where the fuck is he?” 

“With us.” Us. Shit. “In the car.” 

Oh. 

“Your brother’s here, too.” 

“Ah.” That means they’re all there. They’re all heading home. “Am I on speaker.” 

“Umm.. Yeah.” 

As much as you’re relieved they’re all okay, stockpiled anxiety transforms into anger, your limit striking the thundering sky. “Actually, you know what? Good. Now I can say you’re all idiots and immature as fuck.” 

It’s your sibling that responds first. “Hey, wait a damn minute—” 

“I waited long enough!” you scream, ignoring Taehyung’s wide eyes. 

You know you need to relax. But you can’t help what’s happening right now and all you feel is pain. “I know this shit isn’t new to y’all, but really? You didn’t need to do this.” 

“He was gonna—”

“All you had to do was play the game! Why’d you have to make them mad? Do you even know what could’ve happened back there?” Damn it, you weren’t supposed to cry during this part, not when you just want them to know they fucked up. 

And the response is dead silence. Because of course it is. But if they won’t answer you here, they’re gonna answer another, “Just tell me one thing,” you plead. “Is this gonna happen again?” 

That one your brother answers with finality. “They won’t be coming around anymore.” 

Gulping, you give Taehyung a glossy-eyed look before staring at his lit screen again. Trying not to let your voice waver, you accept his response, “Okay… Are you okay?” 

“Me? Yeah, the hits I took were weak as fuck. I’ll get home soon so if you wanna order in tonight we can.” 

“Fuck that.” 

“Huh?” 

What an idiot. “Bro, you don’t even know how fucking mad I am,” you accuse through gritted teeth. There’s no way in hell you wanna deal with their bullshit. Ignoring your pleas and staring harm in the face? Forget it. “I’m going to Yuri’s.” 

“What? Nah, come home tonight and we’ll talk.” 

“I just—No.” Taehyung has to grip your shoulder before pulling you into a hug. And you’re still steel in his arms because you haven’t been this upset in ages. “I’m not talking to any of you for awhile.” 

And you mean that. 

“…Fine. But go asap then. I don’t want you out late on your own.” 

So you gotta listen to what he wants but when it comes to what you say, it’s crickets? Goddamn, you’re furious. “…Of course you don’t.”

And you hang up before anyone can say anything else. 

-

-

You open the front door to your brother leaning against the hallway wall.

Both of you eye each other, one of you with a perfectly fine face and the other that isn’t so lucky because he’s a fool.

And no words are exchanged as you trudge your frustration to the kitchen. 

-

-

Ice. Bandages. Dinner. Anger propels you through it all.

Whipping up a quick but hearty meal, you let your brother patch himself up after demanding he showered. The smells of comfort food waft through your nose as things sizzle on the stove and, through the whole process, you don’t think about anything except how upset you are.

They’re all okay. But like Taehyung so abruptly put it, they’re all stupid. 

As you turn off your burner, you transfer everything to a bowl, sighing so loud it seasons the top with fire. When you approach the bar, your actions speak pretty damn loud—the dish clank shoving out a question from your sibling,

“Is there something you wanna say to me?” 

“There’s a bunch of shit I wanna say to you.” 

“It’s about Yoongi,” he asks, the absence of hesitation making your insides squeeze. “Isn’t it.” 

But luckily for you, your rage is so potent that it overruns your fear. As soon as your brother stands up and starts to repeat his question, your correction clangs through the room, 

“It’s about all of you! You say you wanna be there for me but what the fuck will doing this shit do?” 

Freezing, the man waits in shock as you keep going, “Yes, that guy deserves hell. I was so scared when he grabbed me at the club.” You stop to swallow. “But I had them both there and we left.”

Fuck, this is hard. Having to relive that shit is difficult but you need your brother—and all of them, for that matter—to know how hurt you feel right now. Mustering up enough bravery to get to the goddamn point, you finally squeak out, 

“If I lose them? Lose you? Because of something as stupid as a fight?” Your eyes search his, and your heart cracks when you see glassy sheen amongst his bruises. “What would I do then?” 

You expect silence. And silence is what you get. It’s drawn out, loud, and telling. “We know.” 

“Do you?”

“Yes,” he whispers, eyes lifting to meet yours with sincerity. “And we’re sorry.”

Another moment passes between the two of you, the food you made left uneaten on the counter and the rest sitting still on the stove. But you know your sibling will eat it all tonight, whether you’re there or not. 

And you step forward at the same time he holds his battered arms out. 

Freshly showered, he still smells like rain and exertion. But his heart beats under your chest, he’s present, and back home—things you need to stop taking for granted. 

But you’re still mad. And getting things off your chest has only made you tired, so you decide that it’s finally time to go before you circle back to other scary territory brought up tonight. “I’m leaving now,” you announce as you step away. “But just think about that.” 

“I will.”

“I’m serious.” 

“I will.”

Staring, you take note of his cuts and injuries, wondering how the others are faring even though you don’t wanna deal with anything else. Because it hurts too much, and if you see who you’re thinking about, there’s no telling what you’d do if you were like this with your brother. There’s no telling how you’d…

No. You choose to go the easy route this time. Everyone can simmer in their sore, swelling consequences while you have a night of de-stressing with your friends. 

So you leave to go pack without another word. 

It’s raining. 

Hard.

And even though your car is heading to Yuri’s, your heart is beating backwards. Tugging you somewhere else and not letting up. 

With a ping of chill, you can’t shake it. Braking at a stop sign close to your destination, you sit in silence, letting the rain pelt every side of your vehicle and wondering what the hell to do. 

Truthfully? Your brother looked like shit. But your body isn’t telling you to go back to the house, which can only mean one other place. And you know for a fact you don’t wanna talk to him, either. 

So fucking upsetting. They did all that for what? You can barely keep your thoughts in a row because they keep yelling at jostling each other just like everybody did on the court. If anyone had to fight the dipshit, it should've been you. 

Fuck! Your head connects with the wheel, an inner monster rumbling with the thunder because you’re so fed up with everything that happened. 

Your brain is the one yelling. But your heart is begging for it to listen. Go to Yuri’s? Go to Yoongi’s. Find shelter in that warm bed of hers and sink in her plushies to comfort you? 

A sigh. Maybe you can at least call him to tell him off one more time. He needs to hear what you told your brother because if you ever, ever lose him—

Your eyes burn. 

Yoongi: Outgoing Call

No answer.

Yoongi: Outgoing Call

Pick up. What the fuck.

Yoongi: Outgoing Call

…Turn the fuck around shit, shit, shit.

Curses flying, you whip your vehicle in a flash, heart pounding so loud it’s blocking out the storm. Which is morbidly impressive considering how horridly it’s pouring. 

Thinking in leaps, you pivot and make another decision. Tell her and make it all quick. 

Yuri: Outgoing Call

“Hello?”

“Hey, I’m not coming.”

“You okay?”

“I’m going to Yoongi’s.”

“Yoongi’s? Why?”

Ah, shit. Oh, fuck. She doesn’t know. 

Banging the steering wheel, you smash your teeth, stressed as hell from braving the rain in the dark and now snitching on yourself to someone else. 

Damn it. What do you say? What can you possibly even say when you’re so mad and stressed and conflicted and worried—

“Hello?”

“Because he’s the one,” you whoosh out, your vision quivering twice as much as it should. “And things went down after the game and now something feels wrong.”

“Oh, shit. Is that why y’all didn’t come to—”

“Yes.” When you say all this out loud, now it has weight. Horrifying weight on your chest and a block pushing down on the gas. You hear a bit of shuffling on the line, and you’re starting to get so anxious that you blurt, “Please don’t say anything. Please.”

“I won’t. Not about this.”

“Thank you.”

“Hang up, babe. Make it safe.”

“Okay.”

Go, go, go. Please, just get there. 

Letting up, you change your speed, hoping to everything good in the world that this feeling you have is only a feeling and nothing more. 

Yoongi: Outgoing Call

What a strange emotion, wanting his reason for not picking up solely being because he doesn’t wanna talk to you. That is an answer you can deal with. 

But you still can’t fight off the jagged pulses telling you it’s something else. 

After an agonizing drive, you finally see his complex, tensing harder the further and further away you have to park. 

Whipping into a spot, you screech into it before hauling your bag out, popping the trunk and desperately grabbing a plastic box you always keep inside. 

And the mad dash drenches you long before you seek cover, your bones shivering shivering shivering from the chill.

Yoongi has to be home. His car is here. 

But he still won’t pick up the fucking phone.

Skidding at his door, your knocks are rapid, knuckles singed from the ice cold wraps.

Answer, answer, answer. For fuck’s sake, he better answer. 

After a haunting moment of silence, you decide to call one more time, head wet and bones shivering as you press the phone to your damp ear. 

Finally. “Hello.” 

“Open the door,” you jump into commanding, hearing nothing other than a voice that sounds so crushed and low that it crumples you inside. 

“You’re here?” 

“Yeah, let me in.” Fuck, your teeth are clattering against each other, whether it’s from the rain, the cold, or anger, you can’t tell. 

But the reply you get is the coldest thing imaginable. And it sets your whole body aflame. 

“Not tonight.”

Hell no. Hell fucking no Yoongi is not going to get rid of you that easily. Not when you have a boatload of things to say and only one dock to dump them all on, “Yoongi, I swear to god—” 

“Not tonight—”

“—you don’t let me in I’m—”

“Go home—”

“I’m fucking staying out here until you open the goddamn door!”

Oh, you’re pissed. You’re so fucking pissed because this all could’ve been avoided if none of them were stupid. Or prideful. Or whatever the fuck boys decide to be when they can’t let something go. 

And this man still has the audacity to give you the stiff arm, silence on the line before he rasps out another short, “I’m serious.”

“No.”

“Go home.” 

“No!” 

He says your name. So, so softly, before a gut-wrenching, 

“Please.”

Breath shaken, you rest your forehead against chilly wood, hoping it quells the fire you feel rising from your rib cage. 

You can’t give up. Not when you have so much to say. Not when you have to check on him and make sure he’s fine. 

Not when you give into the strongest premonition that you need to be nowhere else but with him tonight. 

You will stay. Stay, stay, stay. Even if he doesn’t want to see you. 

Voice trembling in rage and concern and everything in between, you feel your eyes sear through when they close, mission boiling down to one more desperate choice, 

“…No.” 

You’re cold. And wet. But you will stand out here for as long as it takes him to let you inside—a night, a day, no matter what.

And for a moment. Or a few. You think he’s dead set on making you prove that. 

But you finally, finally, finally hear a sigh before a lock turn, and you try to prepare yourself for what you see but he opens the door and his face comes into view holy shit he looks like a wreck—

“What the fuck,” you grit out as you rush in with vision swimming, digging into your bag for the medkit you hastily stashed and swinging off your sandals because you gotta get something in the—

A hand grips you hard, tugging you back before you even register what’s happening.

As your feet stumble back onto linoleum, your gaze snaps to the ground. 

And your breath cuts like it’s your last. 

Shards. 

Pieces.

Thousands of wood and glass chips litter the entire open area of the living room. 

And realizing where they came from strikes like lightning. 

Fuck. Oh, fuck, what did Yoongi do?

“I told you, doll.”

You choke on a sob.

“Go home.”

Your breaths return before you straighten, tears flowing freely as you don’t know whether to start cleaning up the chaos or finally facing the one who caused it.

No, no, no. Get rid of it. 

Throw it out, all of it, all of it. 

A new fire roars to life, forging your steeling commitment as you wrestle out of Yoongi’s hold.

What did he do, what did he do?

Revving with smoke out of your ears, you burn a path to the kitchen, grabbing a trash bag before marching into the wreckage. Up go the biggest pieces first, chucked into plastic before the smaller ones follow.

Throw it all. This one, this one, and this one.

Yoongi isn’t even wearing shoes. He can cut himself up even more if this all stays where it is. 

Shit, this is everywhere. 

When you realize you’re gonna need a broom, you storm back into his laundry closet to yank one out and keep going. When you go to sweep, the sharpest voice cuts through your fingers.

“Stop.”

Your grit grips the tool even tighter. Because you won’t. Don’t dare look into his expression, either, because you know that one glance will melt every scream on your tongue. So you stay resolute and shoot rejection to the ground, “No.”

“Just go, please.”

“No.”

This hurts. 

This really, really hurts. 

Yoongi has never, ever said these things to you and it feels like a knife jabbing into the same spot over, and over again. You almost prefer three new months of no contact over whatever the hell this is.

But you have to keep going. Eyes clenching, lips wobbling, you must keep going. 

Because you came here for a reason other than this mess. And he’s gonna have to do better than this to kick you back out into the rain. 

“I got it.” 

“Let me do it.” 

“Your brother needs you.”

“Yeah, well, I already tore the fuck into him and I’m gonna do the same to you.” You harden your fist on the sweeper, tugging it more towards your shoulder with finality. And you gather all the energy you need to leave no more room for arguments, because Yoongi is going to listen, “So sit down.”

It hurts.

He wants to say shit. You know he wants to.

But he only breathes hard with eyes closed, following your orders and carrying his dark clouds to the dining room. 

When he finally leaves you alone, this is when you look his way. 

In sweats and a shirt, he appears fine. But with a deep pang, you notice he’s slightly limping. Judging from those knuckles, you wonder if they’re red from the fight or from hitting another wall of his apartment. 

Or from whatever the fuck happened around your feet.

Shit.

While he dumps himself at his table, you clean up the pieces of his rampage, mentally noting that one plan of yours has now changed. 

This one. These, too. A string here. A metal piece there.

You don’t know how long it takes you. All you know is that you’re burning inside, determined to clean everything and sweep this chaotic energy away. 

One more. Two more. Another one here.

As soon as you’re done, you lug the trash bag out of the front door and don’t give a shit what happens to it now.

Keep going. There’s more that you need to take care of.

The fuel inside of you rages on, anger conflicting with anxiety and past worries and sadness for something that didn’t even happen. As you spin, you vow yourself to keep pushing until you can’t anymore. 

Sniffling. Shivering. But staying strong because things could’ve gone a lot worse. 

Yoongi meets you by the table, messy, damp hair shielding his features. “You’ve done enough.” 

“I still need to—” 

“Just.” He looks away. “Go home, doll. I can’t do this tonight.” 

“Do what? I’m helping you.” 

That’s what you do for each other, right? You both help each other. But now you’re not so sure because Yoongi comes back with not an acknowledgement, nor a way of relenting. 

But ice. 

“Who said I needed it?” 

And in all the time you’ve spent with this man, this is the first time you’ve felt downright cold. “Yoongi, what?” Your eyes travel across his face, chest caving in when there’s barely any hints of vitality. “Are you serious?” 

“You think I’m joking?” 

“You’re kicking me out? What happened to saying you’d never do that, huh?” 

“I say a lot of things.” 

…Oh.

That hurt. That… That physically couldn’t have hurt any harder. 

Nodding, you look away, shaking your head in disbelief because you are on the verge of losing it. “You know what? You do say a lot of things.”

Walking away, you start rearranging pillows on the couch pushed askew. “Like how perfect I am.” Picking up his books from the now non-existent coffee table. “And how there’s no one else.” 

As you give the volumes a new home on his intact tv stand, you turn to face him again. “Those are just words, too, huh?” 

Yoongi kicks his head back with a smile, one that cuts instead of mends. “Nah… Not tonight.” 

“Not tonight what.” 

“We aren’t doing this tonight.” 

“The fuck we aren’t.” It’s his turn to walk away, with a slow head shake that you really don’t like. “Where are you going?” 

“Nowhere.” Yoongi shifts his head to the side, but not enough for you to fully see him. It’s almost as if he doesn’t want you to. “But you’re going home.” 

Something’s off. There’s something completely off but all you feel is sadness and rejection in your ribcage. “So this is how it happens, huh. Now I’m just like everyone else.” 

He finally faces you, miles away even though you’re just rooms apart. “You’re gonna go there?” 

“I am.” 

“Wow.” 

That’s what he comes back with? This is gutting you from the inside out and you have no idea what’s happening but now rage is flaring into your mouth, “You think I wanted to come here? After what all of you did?” 

“Do you even know?” 

“No! But how the fuck would I? You don’t tell me shit!” 

“That’s cus—” 

Your response sears over his floors, “I can take care of myself. But none of you told me about that dude from the court. None of you.” Breath shaken, you continue dumping out all your thoughts and previous concerns, “If I had known? That whole Dalo thing could’ve been avoided and I would’ve ran.” 

For a person that you’ve come to know as so warm, Yoongi’s entire aura freezes you over as you keep talking. “And today? You know how fucking scared I was? If I… I…” 

All he does is stare. Why isn’t he doing anything else? Is he really flipping the switch and choosing to legitimately let you leave this time?

Fine then. 

“You know what?” Giving up, you laugh—harsh, and breathy, and without any joy at all. “Forget it. You’re not even listening anyway.”

“I swear to—I just said not tonight.” 

Frustration from the game, fear from the ambush after, anxiety from not hearing from them. All of it coalesces into something you can’t even control anymore. Your buffer shuts off, the monster you created seizing the reins, “No, I get it. I do! You want me gone. Sure. See you in three more months.” 

Stunned, Yoongi huffs in disbelief, jaw working overtime. “Are you serious?” 

“Yes, I am. Trying to help you but it looks like you don’t even want that. So good fucking bye.” 

And it looks like he has a beast of his own because his next response to your last attempt has you reeling back in shock, 

“Who asked you?” 

Dark liquid drips onto your soul. 

You can only stare, unblinking and feeling like you’re in an entirely different universe. “Who asked me? Who asked me.” 

“That’s what I said.” 

Forget the question of who asked you because… Who are you even talking to? Who is this person standing in front of you because it’s not the Yoongi you know. It’s so jarring and hurtful and strange that you truly feel thrust into the middle of a nightmare. 

You’re gonna do it. You’re actually gonna leave this time. 

“You know what? Kiss my ass, Yoongi.” 

God, it hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

It hurts.

You don’t even know where this is all coming from. All you know is that you’re angry and there’s no stopping the hot magma bubbling in your center. 

Silence fills the room.

And it rains. It pours.

But finally, you hold a sob back before burning a shaky path to his door, wrestling with the lock before yanking it open—

Only to have it shut back in your face, so thrown when you realize you’re getting spun. Air whooshes out of you before your shoulder blades connect with wood—  

And this is the goddamn breaking point. The walls you haphazardly built to keep you upright collapse and tumble. It’s so potent and blinding that you don’t even realize your hands are connecting with his chest in the weakest, saddest ways and you are outright screaming. 

“God, what the fuck! I told you to—We didn’t hear from you for hours and I—I didn’t know if you were okay—” 

“Whoa, hold u—” 

“I thought the worst and I—didn’t even get a chance to—I finally told you want I wanted and you—Fuck—” 

“Just listen—” 

“Don’t ever do that again! I don’t wanna lose you and today was so fucking scary and I’m not, fucking, leaving—” 

Your lips are smashed to hell, his lips bruising so hard you feel it in the back of your skull. And it’s a whole storm as Yoongi pins you against the door, leg wedging between yours and his hands gripping you like a vice. It’s intense. It’s overwhelming. 

“I swear to—” 

You don’t know what to do. What to do what to do what to do, and all your madness jangles as you’re yanked and slammed against another wall, breath leaping into his open mouth before you tug at his hair, digging anger through his shoulders. 

“Can’t fucking listen, can you?” 

“No,” you rip from your throat, shoving him back only to gravitate right back and lock lips again. 

And he rips at your clothes, tearing the front of your shirt so far your chest emerges on full display. Before you can even react to the cuts on his face, Yoongi’s hand clenches around your throat, making you gargle just how you fucking want to right now. 

“Shouldn’t even fucking be here.” 

“When has that ever stopped us.” You groan as you get rapidly led back into something hard, and you realize it’s the dining table digging into your ass. 

“He’s still home.” 

“So?”

“Shouldn’t you—”

“Then kick me out!” you taunt. “For real. Let me go. Fucking do it then.” 

Yoongi works his jaw before gripping tighter, making you groan and your gut flare into something primal. Nostrils flaring, he moves to grip your head hard enough to make your stomach flip but not firm enough to scare you. 

Never to scare you. “You aren’t gonna leave me alone.” 

Your eyes are ice. 

“Are you.” 

You solely watch in determination, breath harsh from your nose and billowing out like steam. Drilling your answer into his eyes, you charge the surrounding air enough to spark like the flashing sky outside. 

And Yoongi cracks like lightning. 

“Goddamn it.” 

Everything happens at once and in quick succession. Teeth grit to hell, Yoongi pulls you upward before fast stepping you to his bedroom, slamming you through the door before you shove him right into his desk. 

Things teeter and shake and clang with each impact, your storm disrupting everything in its path and creating a tornado of desire and thoughts in your brain. 

Something swirls and twists between your souls, tightening and condensing into emotions darker than midnight. And as angry as you are, it’s slipping into a dangerous mania, and you’ve never been this excited for anything in your life. 

“Stubborn.” 

“Coward.” 

Your back stings as you’re pushed back into his door, the wood smacking into the spackle of his wall. Rough lips smother yours as you claw at his shoulders, neck, hair, and you hear him growl into your mouth, 

“Want me to kiss your ass? Suck my dick then we’ll talk.” 

“Fuck you. I give better head than you anyway.” 

His words rival the deepest growl, “Prove it.” 

“Make me.”

Whirlwind. Storm. Tempest. At this point, it’s a whole goddamn high. Your body is thrumming and the only way to feed your anger is to channel it through actions. 

And truth be told, you need this. You both do. With all the high strung emotions that had nowhere to go until you collided?

This is liberation. 

You’re shoved onto your knees before Yoongi dives into his pants, and you’re already hungry and impatient enough to help him shrug his sweats down before he can do it himself. 

“Choke on it,” he commands, holding his dick and watching as you note how hard he already is. When you waste no time taking him in, you elicit the deepest groan you’ve ever pulled from him when you fling spit onto his length. 

Maybe his reaction is to your face. Because you’re still mad as fuck and you aren’t done letting him know that. 

With a passing thought, you realize that this is all new. But you’re welcoming it because it’s working. Only Yoongi can bring out this passion even in anger, or maybe the two of you were going to get to this point no matter what. 

“Fuck.” He steadies the bottom of your chin while you suck him off. “Uh huh. Got anything else to say?” 

You flick him off, and he hums with a rumble, his cock reacting and hitting the back of your prideful throat. 

“Fuck you, too, doll.” His talks devolve into hisses, grunts, moans when you slobber all over yourself, and your cunt is already dripping with your own slick. “There you go. Gonna take it all? Or are you gonna keep running that mouth?” 

And you pop off before taunting, “Find out, pussy.” 

And you’re swallowing him before he shoves you all the way forward, your body arching up in a gag but filled with him him him, your nose flat against his pelvis and his dick squeezing tears from your eyes and your throat overstuffed to hell and there’s no way he’s gonna forget this moment. You’re making damn sure of it. 

Another middle finger raises as you’re tensing around him, and you can barely hear him above you but you do know he’s massively pleased. Tears stream down your eyes when you’re yanked off, gasping for air and being pulled off the ground. 

“Holy fuck.” 

Throat hoarse, you attempt speech but it doesn’t matter anyway, because his lips steal them all. And your cunt is slapped with a whole palm, making you flinch and shoot out a whine into his kiss. 

Before you know it, your body hits the bed before he joins you, arms bulging as he rips your top open completely. You can’t even think straight as he teases your earlier efforts, “I’ve had better.” 

“Oh, you fucking—Shut the fuck up,” you growl, a moan leaving without permission as he palms your cunt again. Just when you think he’s gonna top you, Yoongi hauls you up, hastily leading you around the bed until your back connects with another wall. 

You love that shit. And you’re starting to think Yoongi is very, very aware of this fact. 

“Take those fuckin’ pants off,” he orders. “And hands on the wall before I put them there.” 

“Can’t make me do shit—”

Fingers grip your chin before Yoongi gets right into your face, primal instinct making you go on full alert. As his tongue prods his cheek, your whole lower body quivers. “I can. And I will, if you don’t behave.” Tapping your jaw in a warning, he hums. “Now do what I fucking say.” 

Holy shit, he’s not playing around. Which only heightens your desire to peaks previously unreached, and you’re shucking your bottoms off while he yanks his drawer open for condoms. Hurrying, you fling your clothes away before planting—

Yoongi smashes his whole front against your back—pinning your whole body against the cold, rough wall—before intertwining long fingers with yours. “Good girl.” 

Hitching your hips back, he sticks your ass out as you slip, and you feel his cock tease your entrance. Groaning, you grip your hands into fists as he continues to rub your cunt but never enter. Denying, denying, denying. Smacking your pussy and still not letting you feel him inside. 

And it’s maddening. “Please!” 

“Please what,” he asks, giving your ass a spank that has you flinching into the wall. 

And, without any shred of mercy, this goes on for longer than he’s ever held out. It’s so sickening that tears start flowing from your eyes, and you devolve into saying anything to get him to fuck your brains out. Between spanks on your ass, slaps on your tits, and aggravating kisses on your back, Yoongi doesn’t let you phase him for minutes. 

It’s when you choke on a sob that he finally, finally squeezes inside of you, checking for your nod before wrecking you completely. 

“Oh, fuck—” Your eyes shut tight as you try to keep yourself upright, hands pushing against the wall as your legs shift with every thrust. 

“This ass. Fuck.” Yoongi’s pace is relentless, hands bruising your hips and your cheeks smacking into his pelvis over and over and over. “It’s a goddamn problem.” 

You’re trying so hard. So, so hard to stay on the wall. But your hands are too sweaty; they're starting to slip with each attempt. “Bed,” you command. “Bed now.” 

And he obliges immediately, pulling out and yanking you back. Mouth to your ear, he both checks in while making your legs jelly, “You tapping out?” 

“Break my fucking back,” you rasp in return, hearing him growl in satisfaction before burying you facedown into his bed. As he plunges inside again, you grip at his sheets, driven to the brink and reveling in all the things he’s saying to you while feeling him in your stomach. 

Suddenly, you feel your arms pulled back, and you yell into his mattress as he buries himself even deeper. Everything you’re screaming makes no sense, but the phenomenal sensation you feel as you go limp renders you speechless anyway. 

Yoongi knows exactly what he’s doing as he pushes his thumb into your asshole, because you clench so hard around him that he chuckles darker than dark. Careening into space, you kiss the edge of euphoria before he inconveniently pulls out, launching a sling of insults from your mouth. 

“What was that?” 

“I said fuck you!” 

“Thought so.” 

Not done in the slightest, Yoongi hauls your thighs so flush against him that you have to use your fingertips for support. Just as you’re about to argue, he rams into you from a new and impossibly enticing angle and holy fuck it feels so good you want to weep.

“Put that fucking hand down,” he growls, smacking away the fingers you didn’t even know were on your mouth. “If you wanna talk shit.” 

“Fuck—!” 

“Uh huh. Let it out, baby girl.”

You’ve never felt this out of control. This wild. This out of body. Your head is yanked back, your back pressing into the front of his shirt before you feel him so far into your guts that you quiver. 

Now at the mercy of his tongue in close range, you hear his gravelly tone in your ear, “What’s my fuckin’ name.” 

“Asshole—” 

A hard smack to your tits has you crumpling with a whine. “Say it.” 

“I’ll say it if I wanna say it—” 

Another spank to your inner thigh and you’re gone. Eyes roll as he tweaks your nipple, and your words are almost garbled when he grips your chin from behind. “This what we’re doing? Hmm?” 

You laugh breathy before you taunt, “Uh huh.” 

“Mm…” Despite your laugh, you shake. “I wouldn’t do that, doll.” 

“Make me. Bet you can’t.” 

Tensed and veins angry, Yoongi grips both your tits before snarling, “That’s enough.” 

Swiftly, he shoves you down into the sheets, muscular frame pinning you as he strokes up into you just right. Again. Again. It’s all too slow and too effective and you’re trying to stay mad but all you can feel is perfection, your back arching at his thrusts and mewling at his low growls in your ear. 

“You wanted this.” Another thrust. “Talking shit.” Your jaw goes slack. “Pissing me off.” 

Your groan is downright erotic. Why why why? Just knowing you’re making him this mad flutters your cunt and, from the sinister chuckle shooting into your neck, Yoongi definitely felt that. 

“Fuckin’ thought so.” 

When he reaches to grab your breasts, the last thrust has you crying out in a flurry of pleasure. 

Every single thought is Yoongi, from beginning to end in a biblical cycle of debauchery. Exertion leaves you slick, sweat coating the expanse of your skin only to press into his bed, your mess your mess your mess. At his hands. The smacks of his cock. The rolls of his hips. Are you gone? Are you here? If he’s bruised then you feel like you are, too, and you welcome the temporary pain as Yoongi’s fingers dig ever deeper into your waist fuck one’s now pinning your head down. 

The moans you let out are unending, and your thighs shake when all you get in response is a laugh of condescension. 

“Look at you. Can’t even stay mad.” 

“Fuck you!” You’re close, you’re close, you’re close again. Release is at your fingertips, but Yoongi yanks himself out to rip it away from your outstretched fingers. “No!” 

“What, doll.” 

“Please!” 

“Nah.” 

Body sore, you’re flipped over with no mercy as something else presses against your cunt. 

Fucking hell, he’s eating you out now? Shaking, you feel Yoongi’s tongue swirl around your thrumming clit before he sucks, edging you to the point of tears and heartbreak. And it proves too much as you grab at his head, yank at his hair, because he lets up when you’re close. 

Every. Single. Time. 

Your madness spirals into your curses, and he relishes in your despair, continuing to lick and suck and slap your thighs with patience. “What do you say?” 

“Please!” 

“Mm. Not loud enough.” 

“Yoongi, please.” 

“Oh, we’re saying names now?” 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, it aches. It’s starting to borderline hurt. “I’ll be good,” you barter, beg, plead with a head spinning off its own axis. “I’ll do anything.” 

“Do it yourself then.” 

Later, when you look back on tonight, you’ll be embarrassed and shy to hell. But right now, you’re so over any shyness that you don’t hesitate, reaching down to rub at your clit and moaning when it’s so sensitive.

And Yoongi gets a front row seat. 

His groan is gutteral. And it doesn’t take you long to quicken your pace, bucking your hips and whining to the ceiling. You’re so so so close it’s right there—

Your hand is smacked away. And after you try to wrestle out of his grip, you are a flat out, blubbering mess. “Yoongi… Please…” 

“Nah.” 

This is torture. And you’re frightened at how much you’re enjoying it. “I’m so close.” 

“You’ll come when I say you can.” 

“Please! …Please..”

“You done being a brat?” 

“No! Fuck. Yes!” If you weren’t so far gone, you may have deciphered a tiny smile of amusement. But it won’t be for months later until you’ll realize that you were wrong. 

Because the menacing flash of teeth you see is much too wide to be anything other than pride. “The fuck did I say? Use your words.” 

You know you’re still upset. You know Yoongi is still upset. But for some reason, you feel closer to him than you have in awhile, and you wonder if lust and madness are two sides of the same coin. “Let me come. Please.” 

Yoongi finally obliges with something he hadn’t pleasured you with yet. And your vision blanks as you yelp at the sensation, his slick fingers pistoning into your folds so fast you’re arching so taut. From between your quivering legs, you hear one final command, 

“Then fucking come.” 

And you burst, so hard you almost feel like something threatens to spew from your cunt. But all you can do is shake and thrash under his grip, so erratic that you feel like Yoongi’s starting to pin you down. Gone, gone, gone, you’re sure the veins of your neck threaten to break through your sweaty skin. 

Then you feel his cock thrust inside of you, and you whip your head forward only to get your airway cut off. “Again,” he calmly repeats, flinging you back to the last time this happened. 

Only this time, there’s even less room for you to make any other choice. 

“I said again.” 

Your body cannot fathom disobedience, pulsing and milking his perfect fit. Over, and over, and over. You hear rumbling from a dragon above, feel breaths of steam whooshing as it watches you come undone. 

“Yoongi—” 

A light slap to your cheek is your only warning before your chin is tugged, lips smushing into yours to swallow your straining sobs. Fuck, fuck, fuck, your body is still thrumming, inundating around his cock until your emotions spill from your core. Toes. Fingers. Everything is straining and locking in place. 

“So fucking hot.” He rips your soul right out. “Shit.” 

You fly through time and space, gathering emotions and feelings and spiraling spiraling spiraling. Crying. You’re crying. Full on crying you’re so overwhelmed with everything truly you were so mean to him you upset him holy fuck you should’ve left when he told you to—

“Baby.” 

But you cannot stop crying, choke choke gasping on sobs. 

“Babe.” 

“I—I—” 

Your name stabs you with a crisp shot, coupled with a firm grip on your chin, snapping you back to lucid. And Yoongi’s eyes are frantically searching your own. “Look at me.” 

You do. Do you? You do. And his eyes… 

They’re not angry at all. It’s pure concern. Steadfast concentration. And something reflecting your soul. “Breathe.” 

“Oh, shit,” you whisper, coughing and reaching for oxygen you didn’t know you were denying. Air rushes back into your lungs as you inhale. 

“There you go. Keep going.” 

You do, gulping down air and hiccuping a breath or two. Your cheek is being caressed, you think. And with another pass, you know it is. 

“Relax for me.” And you hiccup a sob. “Breathe, babe.” 

You do, you do, you do. Yoongi kisses your forehead, your cheeks, your nose, and you breathe more and more through it all. “You with me?” 

“Always,” you answer, filter off because you are hanging by a thread and he’s holding the top. “Please don’t kick me out ever,” you hiccup. “Please, baby, I’ll do anything for you but I—could—never handle that—” 

You’re tenderly hushed before lips slide over yours, attempting to swallow your thoughts and your sobs and your oncoming tears. As you flood his bed with apologies, Yoongi keeps wiping them all.

“I’m sorry.” 

“Nothing to be sorry for.” 

“I’m really sorry.” 

“Babe.” 

“You told me so many times—” 

“Breathe, angel.” 

You blink at the change in name, and it makes you focus just a bit stronger. Floating down from the precipice. 

“I wasn’t kicking you out,” he slowly explains, kissing sweat from your forehead. His words feel like a calm, rock-filled river over your eyes. “I felt like an idiot and hated you seeing me like this.” 

“Like what?” 

“Just… Like this.” 

“You’re perfect like this,” you hitch out, not caring about what flows out of your mouth. “So perfect. Always to me. I just wanted to help you, baby, I’m so sorry—” 

He hugs you so tight more tears squeeze out. 

And so do more confessions, “I… I care about you. I think a little too much. If I lost you, I wouldn’t—be able—” 

“I’m here.” 

“So please don’t push me away.” 

“I won’t.” 

“I know you don’t make promises but—” 

“I promise.” Without an ounce of doubt, Yoongi places a firm, lingering kiss on your temple. “Promise. Fuck.” As he holds you tight, you feel him shake before you hear the tiniest sniff at your ear. 

Oh. He doesn’t need to be like this, too. You try to move your hand up between your bodies to comfort him, but your whole limb feels gelatinous. So you simply whisper, “It’s okay, baby.” 

You can’t tell how long you lie like this, with his beautiful weight on yours. But time is irrelevant when your mind is unwinding from hours of whirring, starting to finally accept the fact that everyone is okay and you don’t have to be angry anymore. 

“Come on,” Yoongi rasps, voice cracked and airy. “Let’s go.” 

“Hmm?” 

“Shower.” 

“Oh. Okay.” 

You’re so thrown and dizzy from what just happened that even getting to the bathroom is a blur. What you kinda feel is Yoongi holding you upright when your legs buckle, but you don’t remember when he leaves your side to turn the water on. 

As he flips on the light, your eyes squeeze until they adjust, and you watch as he tests the water while fully clothed. Air conditioning starts to give you a chill, but the shower warms up just in time because he reaches out to guide you inside. 

Wait. Is he not joining you? Bleary, you grab at his shirt when he steps away, eyes pleading. “Are you coming in, too?” 

Yoongi stops before he gives a shake of his head. “I’ll take mine when you’re done,” he says through a slight smile. “We’ll take care of you first.” 

That doesn’t make sense. Even in your depleting haze, you know something doesn’t add up. “You can join me now. I don’t mind.” When you try to lift his shirt, Yoongi visibly flinches when you brush over his ribs.

And all the murk around your head vanishes in a snap. 

He kept his shirt on that whole time. Not once did your positions allow you to see his upper body fully. And now he’s not gonna get in the shower or take his shirt off? 

Your voice lowers two octaves when you reach full clarity. “Let me see.” 

Unblinking, Yoongi tries to back away, “Don’t worry—” 

“Let me see it, baby,” you command, breath cut until he finally allows you to lift his shirt up holy fuck those injuries look so painful tears prick your eyes. “Oh, my god, Yoongi—” 

“I’m fine.” 

“You’re hurt.” You feel these wounds deep in your ribs, and you tell him to get your kit what the hell he fucked you while feeling those? 

Attempting to alleviate your stress, Yoongi decides to strip fully and step into the shower, ignoring your pleas to grab your med kit and promising you can take care of him when you’re done washing up. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, doll.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Promise.” 

And when his arms wrap around you, this is when you finally let go. Huge, chest-wracking sobs echo around tile, and Yoongi stays quiet through your cathartic release. 

There’s another reason you were so upset. And it has nothing to do with any of them, but with yourself. The main reason you’ve been so riled up and frustrated is because… This is technically your fault, too. 

But, unsurprisingly, he won’t let you take any blame whatsoever. 

“You got hurt cus I said to play.” 

“Nope.” 

“I wore the outfit that day.” 

“Doesn’t matter.” 

“And lost my friends at the club.” 

“No.” 

Sniffling in quick succession, you think about one other option. Some form of closure that can double as compromise. Voice soft, you suggest the last resort you have, 

“How about we share it.” 

Yoongi blinks twice before he clarifies, “You wanna share the blame?” When you nod, he huffs through the tiniest smile of confusion. “Mm. Then it’s our fault.” 

“Okay.” 

After shaking his head, he closes his eyes, molding his forehead with yours. “What are you doing to me.” 

A sniffle. “Wrecking your water bill.” 

His laughs join yours as you barely get your sentence out before giggling, and to feel him so close and present and here makes your worries slink down the drain. 

Hands trace down your arms, walking along falling rivers before creating ponds with your fingers intertwined. “Gonna clear me out someday.” 

“Duh.” 

He’s himself again. 

And after a whole night of chaos, you feel like yourself again, too. 

That’s all you both need to feel peace. 

-

-

You keep that tranquility carrying you through his room, peeking into his closet to grab the biggest shirt and sweats you can find before drying your head. 

But no matter how much water you can dry, your body will keep being washed in relief. And it’s the calmest feeling, watching as Yoongi does the simplest things near his bed. 

Your lips curve when he pulls up his pants; your heart beats when he grabs a tee. It’s in this moment that you admit that these outfits of his are your favorites, and you gravitate to him as he slips cotton over his damp head. 

“Come on,” you softly offer as you turn. “I’ll make food and get you some ice.”

Again, Yoongi just stares with a faint smile. But his eyes are alive again, so you’re more than fine if he just follows your lead without a word.

In the kitchen, you pause amongst the appliances, the cabinets watching as you utilize your phone to find a good recipe. “What shall we eat… Stew? Or, wait—” 

Looking up, you eye him in thought before choosing to focus on something else. “Actually, let’s figure you out first.” 

Opening yet another tab to add to your hundreds, you type away before selecting a good starting point. “Okay, let’s see. You’re breathing fine, so no bruised ribs. Umm…” 

Scroll, scroll. 

“It looks really bad there, though. You sure you can move right?” 

Despite asking, you go right back to your phone before Yoongi can even respond. Scrolling and clicking and reading again. 

Scroll, scroll. 

“Okay, so no bruised ribs, and according to this you don’t have any broken bones. And nothing fractured, either, thank god—”

“I love you.” 

Time bursts.

Your chest glows. 

Everything starts to beat, beat, beat in slow motion. 

And you don’t even feel like you’re in the room anymore. “…What?” 

You need to hear it again. You need to need to need to, because if you heard him wrong, you will check yourself and bolt right out the door. 

His eyes. 

Despite the battlefield on his skin, they are dripping, and sparkling, and full. The whole world suspends as he stares right into your soul, caressing it with his wounded hands and cradling it in his bruised arms. 

No matter how hard the moon will try—for years, and years, and years more—it will never outshine this single, shaken, solidified admittance. 

“I love you, doll.”

You don’t know what to do. You don’t know what to fucking do. 

Why is Yoongi saying this now? Why is he choosing now of all times to make you the happiest person in the universe? 

No. 

Happiness isn’t even close to what you feel and you’re pretty sure you’re crying but nothing makes sense and your vision plunges under sunlit waters. 

“And you don’t have to say anything. I know I don’t deserve to.” 

What?

“I can’t be everything you want. Or need. Or whatever the fuck I’m trying to say. But I just needed you to know because I can’t fucking fight this shit anymore—” 

You lunge forward before he offers his last syllable, careful to avoid his wounds and not mush his face because he would do the same for you. 

And it’s all too much tonight. The lingering fear, the dying anger, the floods of relief, the joy. You can’t stop your sobs from coming out in bursts, your whole body wracking with overwhelming emotion as he grits into your skin,

“Goddamn it, I—”

“Yoongi—”

“—so fucking much.”

Yoongi loves you. He’s here. He loves you, loves you, loves you and the beats of your heart pulse orange and blue, blue, blue. 

Nothing will ever compare to this moment. Nothing. You will bottle this one up in a jar to place next to all the others you have stored, and when you are lonely, or hurt, or even when you’re doing just fine, you will uncork it to surround yourself with this memory and know that everything will be okay. 

He loves you. 

Fuck, he loves you? 

You choke out his name with a sob, and he squeezes you even harder. When you can’t reply with anything else, he buries his face in the crook of your shoulder, his tears taking root and blossoming into beautiful vibrant fruit all along your rib cage.

He loves you.

Why can’t you seem to say it back? What the fuck is wrong with your tongue?

Maybe it’s because saying it doesn’t feel like enough. Like it’s laughable that there are words for this feeling because they don’t nearly represent what you harbor in your very being for this man. 

There’s no way any words are enough. Not for him. Nor for you. Because right now, Yoongi needs something more. And you’re going to give him more than everything. 

“Yoongi, I—”

He captures your lips in his, and you let him push you against his counter and consume you everywhere he wants to. Between his claims, your sobs have room to breathe. Which makes for a horrible showing of your attempting to say what you want to. “I… I can’t… Yoongi—”

Fingers press into the back of your head, a forehead smushing into yours and shutting you up completely. “I’m sorry,” he says, words rolling down the tracks your tears have walked. “I won’t ever be able to say that enough.” 

“Baby,” you hiccup, resting a hand over one of his. “It’s okay.” 

“It’s not.”

“It is.” You squeeze his hand, feeling the lovely digs of his knuckles in your palm. His scent wafts around you like an embrace, and you know there’s nothing quite like it. At all. “You’re okay, so I’m okay.” 

After he plants a warm kiss on your temple, you feel his hands ball into fists at your ears. “I just—fuck.” 

There’s no telling what he’s thinking about in that brain of his. But you need him to know that there’s nothing more for him to be sorry for. All you care about is that he’s present, responding, and himself. 

“Babe,” you whisper, still not believing those three words coming out of his mouth. “I’m here.” 

“I know.” He sighs, smushing into your lips and holding you so tenderly, yet so tight. As he laps at your tongue, you’re more than sure he can taste your rainfall. 

None of this is real. Because you can’t believe it at all. Even as Yoongi continues his journey across your neck, your shoulders, your jaw, your face, you still can’t piece together that this is truly happening.

When you feel him hard on your pelvis, you remember that he didn’t get the same release you got earlier. But you’re not gonna be the one to suggest going again, all of this will be what he decides. 

And what Yoongi decides is to pull you closer, breathing you in while you do the same. His kisses are never ending, and your hands roam languidly along his shoulders, his hair, stretching across the expanse of his back. One that has held the weight of the world and then some.

His name leaves your mouth in a sigh, your back arching as softly as the kisses being planted along your breasts. 

“If you only knew,” he whispers, laughing to himself as he wraps an arm around your side.

“Knew what?”

“Nothing, babe.” You gasp into his next rough press to your lips. “You’re so—fuck.”

You said you’d let him lead. But as Yoongi starts to walk you into his bedroom again, you think about his injuries and feel more concerned after knowing they’re there. So you quietly stop him as you reach his bed, “Are you sure?” 

“I’ll be alright, doll,” he whispers, lowering you down and smiling so tranquilly your heart lurches. “As much as I think you enjoyed the first time, this time will be better.” 

Giggling, you fight the heat from searing your cheeks as you smile. “You enjoyed it more than I did, I think.” 

“I don’t think so.” Yoongi smirks, getting up. “Lemme get a cond—” 

“It’s okay,” you halt him with a hand, and he freezes. 

Full stop. No movement. Not even a breath. “...What?” 

“We don’t…” You swallow, stomach fluttering at his expression. “We don’t have to this time.” 

Because Yoongi’s eyes have not left your face. “You sure?” 

Then something causes you to smile. Knowing that if there’s anyone you want to do this with, it’s this man right here and now. There’s genuinely no one else in the world with whom you would wanna share this experience, and the fact that he’s still asking makes you emotional.

Cradling his face with the most tender touch you can imagine, you confirm, “Just for a little bit.” And you add something you think he needs to keep hearing. “I trust you.” 

Gulping down any extra emotions spilling from your heart’s chalice, your words come out a little wobbled. “And I want to, if you want it, too.” 

“I want what you want, doll.” 

“Then it’s okay.”  

Clothes on or off, you still feel so shy underneath him. 

But this time, you vow to shove those feelings of unworthiness to the side. Because you are fully invested in this moment above all others. And Yoongi deserves more than you can give. 

When he slowly tugs his sweats from your legs, you’re already choking back tears. As he climbs on top, you await the connection you never in your dreams would’ve imagined. 

And when Yoongi stares at you one more time, you know exactly what he’s asking. 

“Yes, my love,” you wisp into his skin, craning up to kiss him and swallowing his last slice of doubt. Knowing you’ll say it again and again and again. 

His brows pinch as he kisses you—slow, purposeful, understanding. Then he positions himself, and you can physically feel his hand brush your cunt as he does so. If he ever asks if you felt him shake, you will deny it. But only for a year or two. 

As soon as you feel him—only him, solely him—you swell with a current of emotion. And it pulls you all the way under when he’s fully sheathed inside. 

“Holy fucking shit.” 

“Yoongi—” 

“Fuck.” 

Simply having him inside, with no barriers or obstacles in between? You’re already close. There’s no early explanation, but you already feel overwhelmed enough to come. 

No no no. You want this to last forever, so you wait for Yoongi to gather himself because he appears to be fighting, too. 

Chuckling, you ask, “You good, baby?” 

And your lover snaps his gaze to your face, bangs sweeping across your cheeks and eyes unblinking. “Yeah, just...” He stares at your inquisitive expression before whooshing out a harsh breath. “Just this is about to make me bust.” 

You burst into laughter before admitting you were just thinking the same thing, and his slow grin makes you want to cry. “We’re not good at this.” 

“No. You’re too good at this. I can’t even move.” 

“Yes, you can,” you whine. “You wreck my shit all the time.” 

Feeling a twitch more prominent than ever, you giggle as Yoongi puffs out pained amusement. “Doll, if you keep talking like that, I’m pulling out.” 

“Okay, okay,” you surrender, loving how out of sorts he seems. He’s fighting for his life and you’re enjoying the hell out of it. 

“You’re a little too perfect right now.”

Maybe one day you will agree with him. But that day is far from reach, your head shaking in quiet disagreement.

“You are.”

“Nowhere close,” you whisper.

His nose brushes against yours. “Say that again and see what happens.”

“Is that what you tell all the others fuck!”

His shove up your cunt makes you see stars. “What did I fuckin’ say?” 

“What—”

Another launch has you careening through space, lip bitten and suppressing a hearty whine. “You think there’s someone else?” Again. “Hmm?” 

Again. 

You’re so dazed and mind-fucked to pieces that your speech is barely audible. But your chin is grabbed as you’re snapped straight, and your eyes try their hardest to focus on slitted ones above. “You’re gonna regret saying that.” 

You just laugh, whine pinging sharp into the ceiling as he shoves forward so hard your whole body shifts upward. “Oh, yeah?” 

Yoongi doesn’t respond with words, thrusting up again and sending you twisting and winding towards the edge unbelievably fast. “Uh huh.” 

“Make me then,” you gasp out. “Make me really sorry.” 

The sound Yoongi makes comes from deep within his stomach, the rumbling hum shooting right into your veins like liquid fire. 

And the full-on attack he bursts into renders you completely speechless. Everything Yoongi does pulls you deliciously in all directions—his thrusts, his chain hitting his chest, his grip on your wrists, the way he snags your chin. Everything. 

“Taking me so well like this.” 

“I—”

“So fucking tight.”

Fuck fuck fuck it’s habitual for you at this point, and you unhinge your jaw a split second before he smacks the side of your face. Desire lowers your lids halfway as you feel empowered, and you don’t even recognize your voice as you order him on the spot. “Do it again.” 

Yoongi doesn’t stop his pace as he keeps his eyes on you. 

“Do it again,” you growl, fully limp and a groaning mess when he does exactly what you want. 

Fuck, the pain feels good. So good that you reach up and choke him out. But the back of your head is grabbed before you feel hungry lips smash into yours. You feel your wrists pinned again by one large palm, air chilling for a moment before a hot mouth captures one of your nipples. “Oh, fuck, Yoongi!” 

“Uh uh.” 

“Please—please—” 

You’re still tensing as he devours your chest below his shirt, strokes now slower but just as powerful. 

Your arms still haven’t been freed, but there’s something about being under his control that has you loving this position. Without question. Maybe it’s the fact that you can see him now, losing himself just as he saw you washes in the throes of passion. 

And he licks, sucks, lolls his tongue all over your tits, whispered praises sinking through your bosom as he keeps a grip on your wrists. 

“Baby,” you gasp. “I’m close, I’m—” 

“Shit.” Air whooshes over you before you feel your arms freed and him yank himself out, and you freeze as he unloads right on your stomach, a sharp cocktail of pride and shock in your gut. 

Holy fuck, Yoongi was that close? Did he hold out as long as he could? Shit, he’s breathing so hard his jewelry shakes as it dangles. 

You’re still so surprised that your arms are still locked into bends, and he glances up at you from his kneeled state. “Fuck,” he laughs, and is that… Is Yoongi shy? “Thought I could hold out.” 

“No, no, it’s fine,” you assure through your own tiny chuckle. “Oh my god, I promise.” 

He leans down to plant a heart fluttering kiss on your lips, but you hate how he looks pained on the way down. 

Those hits he took… Now you kinda understand his perspective. Because now you want to avenge him in five hundred thousand ways—almost half as many ways as you want to show him how you feel. 

“Stay there, beautiful,” Yoongi orders as he moves to get off the bed, wincing in passes. “I’m not done with you.” 

Damn. He looks even more exhausted than before. “Baby, are you sure?” 

But Yoongi walks right to his bathroom to retrieve a towel, and your eyes may as well transform into hearts when you watch him come back to you. So handsome, even now. Even when he’s simply holding a washcloth, hair completely mussed, soul sparkling and face bruised. 

As he sits to clean your face before moving to your stomach, you can only observe his eyes. So experienced. Calm. At peace. When they drift to yours, it’s instinct that has you shying away. “What, love.” 

Another reason to crumble inside. “I just… nothing,” you whisper. 

And Yoongi finishes with the cloth before tossing it somewhere. “Tell me,” he says, lying down on the ribs with more damage. “I wanna know.” 

“Come on this side,” you tell him, and he obliges without a word. “It’s a secret.” 

“A secret?” 

“Mmhmm.” 

Yoongi settles before lifting your chin, rubbing an affectionate thumb over any tears still persevering on your cheeks. “I can keep those, you know.” 

Smiling, you fold way too easily. “Okay, I’ll tell.” 

When he leans in, your nervousness and excitement to tell him almost spoils your ability to do so. Like someone gifting a present while wanting to say what it is before it’s even opened. 

“I love you, too,” you whisper, tears sprinting to your ducts as Yoongi freezes. When he looks at you, you can’t help but choke on a sob seeing his eyes get as red as the marks on his cheek. “And you deserve more than I could ever give.” 

His eyes hold the heavens and the seas. 

You’re right. Just saying it isn’t fucking enough.

You’re already liplocked again before you can think, saltwater on your face and you don’t even know whose eyes it came from.

Determined, Yoongi starts kissing a trail from your lips to your jaw, and you start to cry as he makes his own journey down the expanse of you. 

All of you.

Is this what it feels like? Is all of this actually, genuinely real?

You hope so, because you feel devotion in each press of his lips, and every touch will be remembered in its own right. Its own pocket of time.

Every single stop.

It almost feels divine when his mouth reaches your folds, lapping at your essence and swirling around your clit. When you say his name, Yoongi says nothing, instead palming your thighs and eating you out like he has all the time in the world. 

Swelling, you already feel close. 

But the way he gets you to fantasia is so natural that you slide into your quivers seemlessly. The transition into your heaven flows like a stream, and your waves engulf his tongue and coat his mouth without trouble. 

This is what it feels like. What it feels like with Yoongi. 

And you wanna keep making love until only sleep can take you from him.

Your hands jut into his hair, gasping as he keeps his pace, and no matter how you squirm he is dead set on holding you down until holy fuck you’re coming again. 

How? What’s happening to you? This constant stream of release is shocking you to the point of crying out, and Yoongi groans into your orgasm and prolongs it with the whole press of his tongue.

“Holy fuck, baby—!” Another wave overcomes the next, and you outright quake in his hands, eyes rolling and vision blinking white. Muscles lock as you can’t keep up with the pleasure, and you’re mercilessly let go only for lips to descend on yours.

Your tears spill into your ears as you kiss him back, wrapping tired arms over his shoulders and raking in deep. 

“Fuck.” And you feel his cock lodge against your entrance, and you’re amazed how hard he is again. 

Does he want what you want? Is he ready again? 

As Yoongi quietly gets up to get a condom, you’re amazed that he wants to keep going after everything that’s transpired. But, if he feels like you do, he’s ready to keep going until the sun comes up three whole times. 

When he sits next to you, your better half appears shy as he bites the wrapper. “Don’t take this the wrong way.”

“Oh, I already know.”

“K. But god, I fuckin’ want to.”

You bite your lip to hold back your smile, remembering what he said a long time ago and bringing it back full circle for the next thing you both wanna try. “One day.”

Yoongi only grins. 

And for the next hour, your lover, your secret, your home gives you everything he has, and you come for him more times than you ever have in your life.

Every time, he drags your pleasure out, expertly tearing you down with his movements and building your confidence up with his words. He tells you you’re perfect, and he disagrees when you disagree. When you find tears on your face, he kisses those away, too. When you feel along his silver, he simply watches you in silence. 

No sadness, doubt, nor anger to be found. 

After you physically can’t do any more, Yoongi lies at your side, silent as you play with his hair. You do your best to stay still, not wanting to accidentally push into any of his injuries that you’re gonna beg him to get checked in the morning. 

Once he’s healed? That’s when you’ll never let go. Because you want to crush him into you completely. Mold into him, just so he can feel the brevity of your highest affection. 

“I’m sorry for yelling,” you finally whisper. “But I really was so mad at you. All of you.” 

“I know.” 

“I don’t wanna lose you.”

“It won’t happen again.” 

“That’s what you said last time.” 

Yoongi stares, seeming to withhold something from you before he palms your cheek. “They were gonna follow us home if we didn’t, babe,” he reveals, snapping your heart back in two. “We all knew that.” 

“Oh, fuck.” Everything hits you at once: why they stayed, why you and Taehyung had to leave. Why Tae didn’t bring you straight back to the house. And the burns at your eyes match the searing in your gut. “I didn’t… I didn’t think about that.” 

When you start to cry, Yoongi sits up and hangs his head between his sweats. “You don’t need to think about shit like that,” he murmurs, sounding defeated as ever. “But we talked after you told us off. We won’t hide that from you anymore.” 

Sniffling, you whisper out a thank you. But you don’t want Yoongi to feel like he has to distance himself, so you untangle him—slowly, gently–-before bringing him into your chest. 

After dealing with all that and the tempest in his living room, this man still let you in. From the looks of things, there’s a lot that he had been fighting, and you’re more than appreciative that he opened his door. Not knowing how to put these feelings into words, you say the first things that come to mind. And for some reason, they feel heavier on the way out, 

“Thank you for letting me in. It was raining really hard.” 

Yoongi stiffens hard before holding you closer. 

“Babe?”

No response. Just another batch of weighted quiet. 

Worried, you tilt your head. “Hey. Look at me.”

If he stays right where he is, you’ll have to respect that decision. But he ends up pushing himself up, and as soon as you see moonlight catch on a falling tear, all your instincts reach for him, “Oh, fuck, come here.”

You surround him with everything you have, wanting every single bit of warmth birthed from his love to fill his space instead of yours. Whatever he needs, you will give. “It’s okay, baby,” you whisper, holding him so close but not nearly close enough. 

Never close enough.

His face is buried in the crook of your neck, and you will let him live there whenever he needs to. “I’m not mad anymore, okay?” God, you hate how he’s still so silent. You get it, but you hate whatever made him default to this state. “I’m just glad you’re alright.”

After light rain fills the room, your soul breaks at a sniffle, and you crush your love even tighter.

“This isn’t about that, doll,” Yoongi finally whispers, burying wet eyes further into your shoulder. “It’s just…”

It’s what? What’s he thinking about? Hopefully it’s not anything—

“It’s so fucking better when you’re here.” 

When you choke out a sob, his body locks, words pouring from nowhere and everywhere. “I sleep better. Eat better. Fuck, I even feel better even if nothing else changes.”

“Yoongi…”

“It’s true.” Sighing, he sniffles again before letting his weight drop onto you in resignation. Or relief. “I mean that.”

“Then… Those three months…”

“One day, I’ll tell you everything,” he offers, making you wonder what the hell he’s been through in the past. And if it has something to do with that guitar he smashed to pieces. “But from now on, you can be here whatever you want.” 

Many things have shifted tonight. As if an earthquake had upturned everything between the both of you, only peace has settled in its wake. A peace you had never felt before. As you brush fingers through his hair, you joke, “So I can come to those parties you host, too?” 

“Those weren’t my idea, by the way. Jimin made me.” Kissing your shoulder, Yoongi continues to admit, “He was worried. And hoping you would show.”

Oh. That’s news to you. 

“I knew you wouldn’t. But.” He exhales before nestling in further. “I did hope to see you, too.” 

“It’s okay.” You rub the back of his neck, your fingers feeling nothing but warmth and the softness of his clothes. “It would’ve been too obvious.”

“What would’ve.”

“That I wanted you all to myself.”

“You already have that.”

When you stiffen, your words are tiny. “You know what I mean.”

Yoongi laughs soft, taking one of your hands in his and bringing it up for a kiss as you blurt, “My brother was the one that invited me. To come to those, I mean.”

The way he blinks is comical. “Huh.”

“I know.” It’s your turn to bring his hand close, kissing along his knuckles before you stare out the window behind him. “It makes me wonder if he knows.”

“What if he does?”

You snap your eyes right to his. “Does he?”

Yoongi watches your lips linger on his fingers before he tells the truth, “No.”

“Okay. But you’re sure I can stay?” 

“Who do you think you bought those groceries for?” 

Oh. Wait. “What?” 

Grinning so sly, Yoongi reveals the plan he had all along, “I get you for a week, right?”

Oh. Holy shit. You cannot quite possibly deal with what this man is saying. That whole time you were shopping for his list… No wonder he was already done with dinner when you got there oh you’re gonna get him back for that. 

Light bursts from your center as you grit out through a grin, “You sneaky little—” Pulling his tilted mouth in for another kiss, your heart pulses little pink stars as he leans in with a laugh, and you meet lips again and again until he slowly, reluctantly stops. 

“One day,” he murmurs out of nowhere, and you flick your eyes to his. “I’ll be better.”

Of course he will. You have no doubts. But, just like he always does for you, you’re gonna start offering the same reassurance out loud, even if he knows it’s there. 

And you can’t contain your little laughs at your own joke, despite him just staring into your face right after you crack it, “Don’t make it just one day, silly.” 

Even if you’re very serious, it’s in your nature to lighten things up. Especially after hearing such wonderful news for what’s coming. Clutching a little bit of his shirt, you whisper with complete devotion, 

“We’ll make it as many as we can.”

You hate how you feel him freeze, knowing what that means, what plaguing little thoughts are embedded in that tiny shift. 

Yoongi’s still hesitant to accept.

Because you are, too. In many ways. But this man has been picking you up and making you stronger day after day—in both his presence and absence—that you can’t help but fight to do the same. 

Does he ever think about you? Does he know that you’ll always be with him? No matter how close or far apart you are? You hope so. Because it’s so true that your heart is searing that promise into your soul, branding it as a reminder to reciprocate all this genuine love you’ve never been given before.

He loves you?

You still can’t accept that as fact.

…Maybe one day.

You chuckle to yourself, deciding to keep talking because Yoongi is still so very quiet. “At least. Until the day I get to meet my cat,” you huff in triumph. “Then I’m running away with her.”

It’s a perfect strike of a match. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.” You pretend to pout. “But I’m starting to think she ran away already and you won’t fess up.”

Yoongi laughs so suddenly you flinch. After a playful scoff, he tries to make you feel better, “She’s still here!”

“Lies.”

“How much are you betting, doll.”

“How much are you willing to lose, babe.”

“This much,” he finally says, pinching your sides and hissing laughter when you scream. “Maybe I’ll make you leave after all if you’re gonna be a problem.” 

“You did threaten to kick me out before.” 

“Huh? When?”

“That day I showed up,” you remind him through a chuckle. Thrown back to that first night, you start to see all the parallels between then and now. And how vastly different things have become. “Said you were gonna kick me out for hustling you.” 

The glorious laughter from the depths of his belly makes you grin, and you cringe when his brows pinch in both laughter and pain. “I should’ve!” 

He needs to get those hits healed. “You really should’ve.” 

“Played me from the very start. You happy with yourself?” When you nod, Yoongi shakes his head. “Course you are.” 

“You love it.” 

“I do.” Your eyes meet, which proves dangerous for you because he bites his smirk before pulling you in for a kiss. “Thought I was gonna say it, huh.” 

“No!” You lie. Because no, you certainly were not! “…Maybe.” 

“Guess what.” 

Suddenly paranoid, you give him a look, already expecting to be tricked again. 

But Yoongi captures your lips without warning, curling your toes into sheets you’re now achingly familiar with. After a few passes, he shifts above, planting a hand at your side and letting his chain slide against your chest as he slots a leg in between yours. 

Yet again, you think about that first night, that first time. The first of apparently, surprisingly, wonderfully unexpectedly many. 

Who would’ve thought rain and a broken ego would bloom into something good? Who would’ve believed a person so close to your roots would be your home? 

As he lets up with one last slow stroke of his tongue, you whisper, “What were you gonna say?” 

At this, Yoongi spreads closed lips, taking his time planting a peck on your nose. “I just fucking love you, doll.” 

Oh. He’s a menace and the most annoying tease on the planet. 

When you can’t do anything but flee into his chest, Yoongi immediately laughs, forcing you back out of your little shell. “You can’t hide now, babe.” 

“I can!” 

Leaned forward in your struggle, you give him no choice but to swoop his head into your neck. Which backfires on you immensely because he decides it’s the perfect time to rasp deep against your ear, “I love fucking you, too.” 

His name flies out of your mouth in disbelief and embarrassment, and his heightened amusement puffs into the burning column below your chin. 

This is the moment something comes over you. Slams into you. Washes you in present nostalgia like lingering footsteps on a balcony. 

And it hurts. It really, really hurts. 

Instead of laughing along, you come down from your high, squeezing him like the pillow that couldn’t replicate his warmth for months. “I miss you.”

After a second, Yoongi questions, “How? I’m right here.”

You know that. You do. But with every hello there’s a goodbye, and you don’t want that this time. Especially now that your heart knows that his beats the same. 

Breathy and shaken, you rest your head in his chest, hoping he doesn’t hear but does at the same time, “I still miss you.”

Strong fingers weakly press into your sides, and while you can’t see him, you know for a fact that his smile is gone. Because he also knows goodbye is coming again, and you can’t stay here forever as long as this is all a secret. 

You feel a sigh wisp over your head before words that make no fucking sense follow it out, “I can’t do shit like this anymore.” 

…What?

No. No no no he can’t be done just like that you both just confessed everything you need to fight say something anything anything—

“I wanna do this the right way.” 

Oh. 

Yoongi’s chest… It’s shaking. 

Pushing yourself up, you search his eyes for answers. “What are you saying?” 

When he looks at you, there’s a fire in his eyes that wasn’t there before. Or maybe it has been there all along, and he only needed a spark to set it ablaze. “I’m saying I’ll tell him, doll. Just me.” 

Oh. Oh, shit. Didn’t he say not yet? Didn’t he say he needs more time? He said he’d figure it out what is with the sudden…

Your tears are automatic as Yoongi roams his gaze from one eye to the other, and he’s swallowing before taking a step. A step you didn’t think he’d make. One you didn’t have the courage to take yourself. 

When he utters the words, your soul lets rain fall just as the storm resides.

And right as moonlight shines through his blinds.

“I’ll tell him everything.” 

-

-

tbc. :)

-

so... how did it go! | join the server!

a/n: so. here we are, over two years and 250k+ words later. thank you for sticking with me if you're still here, and thank you for being the most amazing readers a writer could ever, ever ask for. if you can interact or let me know what you enjoyed/like, i would be eternally grateful. these two parts took all of me, and i'm gonna take a break for a little bit before starting on the next part. a/n 2: thank you for also being here despite the highs and lows! things have really weighed on me for awhile, which prevented me from working on this part forreal. but my mental feels a lot lighter now, and i am ready to keep running with y'all. so thank you for your support and encouragement, no matter how you show it! ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ more links: ⇥ masterlist  ⇥ three tangerines masterlist

[blackkwidowed]

Imagine kissing Nats bruises and scars after a mission and just being soft and showing her so much love.

I just wanna give Nat a hug tbh

just the entire concept of nat finding it so hard to be vulnerable around anyone but you is both heartbreaking yet the softest most adorable shit ever. here's a little drabble. some darker themes here as well i guess. also, best friend bucky? you got a taste of that here as well. also haven't proofread so sorry

•

When the few team mates arrive back off a mission, there's a dark, almost sad, atmosphere among them. Natasha, Bucky, and Clint had gone together for a few days to track something down. They'd come back early, empty handed, bruised, beaten down and overall, unsuccessful.

Natasha had looked the most upset. She hadn't been crying or anything, she just looked glum. She looked like she'd seen something no one wants to see.

Immediately you say your hellos to everyone, glad that they made it back safely and in once piece- albeit a few bruises and minor injuries. Something had happened out there.

You pull Natasha into your arms and there's something about the way she relaxes and sinks against you that makes your concern skyrocket. Fingers running through her hair, you cup the base of her skull in your hand and bring the other to her cheek for her to look at you. "What happened, my love?"

She sighs, the kind of sigh that speaks for itself.

"We found a group of kids. They'd all been locked up by these asshole guys we were trying to find. They'd been brainwashed. Beaten. Taken from their families and forced into whatever the hell kind of project that's been lined up for them."

You flinch, closing your eyes and repeating Natasha's sigh from before. You understand now.

"Got jumped by some security who've had training from God knows where. Good enough to get some hits in, put it that way." She cranes her neck a little, moves her hair out the way, enough to show the budding purple mark under her ear that's making it way across her jaw. "Powerful bunch, these guys. We're gonna need some more planning before we go back in there."

You nod in agreement, tracing your finger gently across the mark and pressing a soft, barely there kiss to the skin.

"Are you okay?" It comes as a whisper, gentle and only just loud enough for her to hear it. "I mean, I know you're not okay as such just. What do you need?"

She smiles gently at you, pushing herself closer to you again and resting her nose in the crook of your neck. "This is good."

You press a kiss to the side of her head, looking up at the guys who're now sat at the breakfast bar of the kitchen, also looking on like they've seen a ghost. You can't help but feel sorry for whatever they've seen, it takes a lot to have them left feeling like this.

You send Nat to your room, telling her you'll be up there in a moment and to get changed out of her suit. Quickly, you make your way over to the boys and rest a hand on each of their shoulders. "You need anything you know where I am, alright?"

They thank you thoroughly, Bucky even slinging an arm around your waist and squeezing lightly as a thank you. "Take care of her, yeah? I think, maybe, she's reminded of everything she went through. It's hit her, this one. Just take care of her."

Bucky's smile is laced with pain, heartache. You don't see him like this often either. You nod at him. "Of course."

-

What you find in your room is enough to make you angry. Nat's got a fair few bruises, and it makes you want to track down the bastard(s) that managed to leave such a mark on her soul.

She's sat on the end of the bed, glancing over the hand shaped mark on her arm where she'd been grabbed and thrown just hours earlier. She's not even mad that she let her guard down. Normally she'd be upset with herself, but she can't think about it.

You perch at the head of the bed against the pillows, beckoning her over in a gentle tone. She settles into your side and curls an arm around you tightly, as if she's frightened you'll leave. It only makes you grip her tighter.

Peppering gentle kisses to the side of her face, she sighs in relief and sinks somehow deeper into you, nuzzling into your neck. You're warm, familiar, comforting, you're everything she needs in a time of need.

"Thank you," she whispers against your skin.

"For what, baby?"

"Being here when I need you."

You smile softly, raising a hand to her face and brushing your fingers across her cheek. You kiss her softly, slowly, so gentle she has to pull you even closer so you'll kiss her firmer. Your lips move against hers and it might just be the highlight of Natasha's day, feeling you like this.

"You don't ever have to thank me. You know that's what I'm here for." You continue stroking her cheek, down her neck, and back up. Touches like this are her favourite. It warms her heart when she remembers the bruise on the side of her face, and the fact that your touch is so gentle against her skin that the contact with the bruise doesn't bother her even a little bit. "I love you."

Natasha hums softly, moving to lay on top of you now. She kisses you again, whispering against your mouth. "I love you."

You hold her close, hands running across her hips, fingers trailing up her back. She lays on you, nuzzled in and as close as possible. You don't ever want either of you to move, this is where you're content. This is your happy place.

She's relaxed now, happier, and you know today's at the back of her mind still but for a moment, she can forget about it. She feels safe now, comforted. You're her happy place, her everything, her lifeline. To her, you make it worth it.

"Get some sleep for me okay?" You murmur into her hair.

You feel her nod against where she lays on your chest. "Only if i can stay here."

You give a soft laugh, rubbing a hand up her back and tangling into red hair. "Always."

[churipu]

Could you do a reaction of jjk men reacting to you not wanting to celebrate your birthday because it's too much work? Thank you ♥️♥️

JJK MEN + YOU NOT WANTING TO CELEBRATE YOUR BDAY

featuring. geto suguru, nanami kento, toji fushiguro x reader

warnings. none

note. hello nonnie :D i've never actually thought of this omg, but i'm a little ecstatic to write this bcs as a person who has a love-hate with celebrating birthdays, i know how it feels sometimes. anyways, i hope you like this nonnie :(

GETO SUGURU. geto never really liked party anyways, and during your first year together, the male asks you if you preferred private birthdays where it's just the two of you or a big birthday with everyone in it — so he could take note in the future, because the male took it into consideration that if you didn't like big and loud parties, and then he makes one for you; it would be uncomfortable for your side (when it's supposed to be the day you celebrate your birth).

"i don't like big parties, 's too much work to do." you answered him with a small smile.

and ever since then, he's kept in mind to never make big parties for you — both of your birthdays are celebrated only between you both. you would do it for him, and he'd do it for you.

just a small cake, a present, and the two of you. he needed nothing else but to be with you, it's the picture perfect birthday for him. and you thought so too.

"can we eat cake now?" you asked him, eyes gleaming.

geto chuckles and he took it as a job to cut you one — watching you eat the slice happily before cutting another slice for you, to which you always accept.

NANAMI KENTO. nanami has always knew that you loathed parties — from the way you act, and how you always try to stay away from parties or get-goings with a lot of people. and so when your first birthday with him as your boyfriend came around the corner, he planned a dinner for the both of you.

nanami bought a bouquet of flowers with your favorite flowers, an extra present (that he will have to find by observing and remembering about the things you have ever said to him), a cake, and princess treatment (not that he ever stops doing it anyways).

"happy birthday," he mumbles into your hair, pulling you closer and planting a kiss to your lips sloppily.

"thank you, kento." you giggled lightly, leaning your face into his shoulder, resting your head there for a bit.

you never question him about how he knows you don't like parties, and just kind of roll with it. because you loved it, people in the past, whether it being your friends or your parents — sometimes would throw big parties for you, and you never ended up enjoying your birthday at all. even if it was celebrated.

but with nanami? you've always managed to enjoy every birthday.

"here," he hands you a small velvet colored box, "i bought you something," he grabs your hand before opening the small box with one hand.

it was a silver colored ring, "kento," you call out to him, "that costs...a lot."

"i love you." he replies, sliding the ring into your finger — a small smile on his face. he brings your hand onto his lips, kissing it softly.

TOJI FUSHIGURO. toji never thought of throwing parties in the first place anyways — he hates parties with random people all around. when your first birthday comes up, he got you a small cake and a present, that was about it really.

"'m sorry, it's all i got." he mumbles out, as much as he hates apologizing; at that moment he actually felt like a bad boyfriend to you — because it was your birthday, it didn't matter what he doesn't like, what if you liked big birthday parties?

"'ts okay, baby. i don't like parties, so this is perfect." you tell him with a small smile, "parties are too much work anyways."

god, watch him fall even harder for you after.

believe me when i said he actually tries to sing out the happy birthday song to you, but never make it to the end because he felt shy to do it so he always stops in the middle.

but just the thought of him doing that was enough for you, it's always a perfect birthday with him, really. just the two of you, having a little bit of cake before going out to eat dinner and then just hanging out with each other.

what more could you ask for?

© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE

[deathbxnny]

Alrighty cool, thank you for clearing that up (and in such a timely manner too)!

So, lemme cook here... with some Angst + Hurt/Comfort >:D

Arlecchino with a Fem!S/O who's the "Mother" to the children of the House. She was among the survivors of the previous Knave's regime over the House of Hearth. With her and Arle having had perhaps a kind of mutual crush that was only truly pursued after Arle killed "mother".

Basically, the scenario for the request is when Arlecchino' and her's S/O are taking care of one of the kids of the House after they're badly injured after a mission, and... needles to say... they don't make it. And during when Arle and S/O are visiting the kid's grave to pay their respect's, S/O begins to muse "you'd think I'd be used to having to bury children, after..." before starting to break down.

Ooooh, I love your brain, Anon!! Thank you so much for this great request!! I have to admit that whilst writing this, I actually liked the idea of making this super angsty and kind of bitter (like most of my fics lmao-) so I hope you like it despite the lack of comfort anyway-

Content: Heavy angst, vague mentions of past child abuse, murder, death, reader is Female and referred to as "Mother/wife", mentions of heavy injuries and blood, controlling behavior from/ooc Arlecchino?, kind of bitter ending, children dying, grief Reader has she/her pronouns ((Not proofread!!!))

Buried angels and that odd wish to live. (Arlecchino x Fem!Reader)

In a way, you often wondered why the young ones often wished to live when they knew that their end was nearing. Their eyes would widen, breaths becoming sharper and shorter, mouths closing and opening in panic before they'd whisper those words you had heard so many times. Their deaths always followed closely after, eyes dimming, their soul finally disappearing with the blown out candles, the sweet scent mingling with the smell of blood and burnt flesh. In the light of the moon filtering through an open window, you'd see the grim reaper staring at you in mirrors and your crimson stained palms, a thoughtful look on her face, one asking a simple question she might forever ask you.

"What did you expect?"

And you'd reply by looking away from your own image, away from the guilt and self-doubt and into the eyes of the woman who made all these children utter that odd wish in the first place.

Your hands shook, held up high as you peered into the crime of a mother who couldn't save her child, raised as though pleading for the forgivness of a god that was mightier than the one you worked for. One that was less cruel, despite the heart everyone claimed she had. And yet, they were enveloped by a towel instead, that wiped away the sins and hurt, even if just for a moment. "There is... nothing we could have done to save her, Mother." Lyney whispered quietly to you, perhaps afraid of being too loud and disturbing someone who couldn't even ever bother to hear him anymore. He tried to be reassuring, but it did little when you just couldn't look away from your wife.

Arlecchino. The Knave. A highly ranked harbinger, whose heart always belonged to you from the start, although with great difficulties that took you years to overcome.

The first time she made you stain your hands with blood was when she killed the woman that raised you two, the first and only woman you ever called "Mother." Although the gentleness and nurturing part of her title was just a simple facade, it still shaped you both greately. You had sworn to do better, to become a better mother to all the children you both took in after marriage and Arlecchino... she seemed to have trned against that title. She believed that being a "father" was more fitting. The right way to raise the children of the Hearth family. Cold and detached, yet firm and guiding.

It made you opposites at times. Painfully different opposites. You became a secret haven of safety for the children, a place they can hide away in, whenever their "Father's" wrath came after them. And you've fought so hard to be this gentle. You killed, murdered, slaughtered your way out of fate. You dragged yourself out of hell, you bled, you cried endless tears. You wanted to prove that you could do better and you ultimately did now... or so you thought. You began doubting it years ago, and it's what made you find their wish to live so odd. Was it an instinct, or did they actually view their life's with you two as desirable, something to live for, when all they did in the end was suffer?

"Mother." Lyney said again, this time a little louder, this time enough to make you glance up at him. His face was a blurry shadow, the light falling over his shoulders and illuminating his head like a halo, as he pushed the towel rather hastily into a nearby laundry basket. You'd never get the stains out, and so it would most likely be thrown away, perhaps burried with the young girl. "Let's... get you cleaned up, okay? I... we will take care of the rest." The change in his wording made you press your lips together. It wasn't anyone's job to do this except your own, and for a moment, you imagined yourself curling up next to the child that died crying and begging for you to save it.

You stood up only barely on shaking knees, trembling hand reaching out to close the small girls eyes, and you could feel the cold tears and skin stinging your palm. "It is alright, Lyney. Your father and I will take care of her ourselves..." You looked over your shoulder at the woman who had yet to move or say anything ever since she silently entered the room a while ago. You could see the cold glint of her eyes in the dark, her face otherwise covered by the shadows as she sat calmy and collected in her chair. She knew it was over the moment the girl was brought in by a couple of Fatui agents, th failure of her mission being crystal clear by the deep wounds and burns on her body. She never stood a chance. She wasn't experienced enough, not skilled enough. But the weak get eaten, as the Knave would often say.

Lyney gave you a hesitant look, his mouth opening to protest before he stilled at his Father crossing his legs expectantly. He understood the silent order. "... Ofcourse, Mother. Call my name if there is anything I can do for you." He said, a hand on his chest as he bowed before quickly taking his leave. When the door creaked open, you could have sworn to see the flickers of Lynette and Freminet staring back at you solemnly before they disappeared in the presence of their brother. You stared at the closed door for an unknown while, nearly zoning out, until you let out a shaky sigh. "Make her grave beautiful, perhaps with a blue ribbon attached to it. She loved those." You muttered, the exhaustion finally hitting you full force and making you feel faint. Your body felt heavy, feet dragging across the floor as you also made your exit, the only awknowledgement you received being in the form of the woman leaning her head against her palm idly whilst she closed those cursed eyes of hers.

---

There wasn't much of a funeral for the child.

A couple Fatui agents simply made a hole in the ground like they did with all the others and then lowered the small casket into it, before tossing dirt back in until it disappeared and only the stone with her was left as proof that the child ever even existed. It was a routine at this point, one everyone was used to. Everyone but you. Perhaps the years had made you soft. Perhaps the love and gentleness you gave these children had made you weak. But here you were, standing under the rain and staring at the grave for hours now, unmoving. The water had drenched through your clothes, ran down your face, made you shiver from the cold, despite feeling too numb to fully realise that. Arlecchino stood at your side, an umbrella laying in the wet dirt by her heeled feet from when you pushed it out of her hands and away from you defiantly.

The silence was deafening, filled with the constant tapping of water against your clothes, the metal on the Knave's uniform, and the stone of the sea of graves around you. "How many..." You whispered weakly, trying to form words through incoherent thoughts and the lack of sleep you've had lately. "... do I have to see die before it's enough?" Arlecchino said nothing, and you were nearly convinced that she didn't hear you if it wasn't for her hand twitching.

You let out a disbelieving laugh, a hand covering your face, trying to ease the pain that plagued you deeply. "You'd think that I'd be used to burying children by now... but I... it hurts me." You didn't want to break. In fact, you had never broken before. But as you stood there amongst the many angels that you burried, the many angels that had all once stained your hands red, you began to wonder why you ever even agreed to this. You weren't like your wife. You couldn't be a "Father". You just didn't want to be one.

You buried your face into your hands, imagining the suffocating feeling of their final wish being the same as the pain of strangulation. They reached for the skies and reached for freedom they could only brush shortly with their fingertips before they were covered in dirt to never see what they desperately yearned for again.

"We always took pride in having become something better, different than her... and yet look at us, Peruere! We just became exact copies of her instead! Oh, the shame!" You whispered through strained sobs, voice distorted as you crumbled to the ground in guilt. You had been defeated, and yet Arlecchino still stood so tall, her eyes staring at your shivering and trembling form. She didn't say a word, or perhaps she didn't know what to say. "How many children will you make me stain my hands for?" You asked finally, but the silence told you all.

Peruere loved the children you raised together. But Arlecchino, the Knave, had an objective, a mission. Eat or be eaten, a reality that even hurt her deep down. And yet the curse she had since birth prevented her from feeling it any further than a passing acknowledgement.

"... Stand up, (Y/N). We need to get home... our children await us." She simply responded after your heavy breaths became shallow, and you simply laid there limply at the foot of the grave. But her voice conveyed a certain gentleness she only ever extends to you. It was like the warmth of a summer rain, refreshing and light as it rippled through your heart. With swollen eyes, you watched her reach an ungloved hand out to you, her gaze expectant and yet so unreadable. You felt like a child that powered itself out after a tantrum, the exhaustion and defeat crippling your soul, when you finally just took her hand after what felt like a long moment of consideration.

She hummed a gentle praise against your ear as you slumped against her, face pressed to her shoulder whilst you trembled now from the cold that nipped at your skin through your drenched clothes. Arlecchino wrapped an arm around you, her pensive and yet still so stern gaze drifting through the graveyard filled with those buried angels, as you often called them. Perhaps it was a moment of calm reflection, that made her grab onto your face and wipe away a tear.

"You are nothing like her." And yet, the Knave didn't deny that she might have fallen to her fate herself. Just not you. Never you. "These tears, this hurt you speak of, they are all proof of it. You shed tears for them, for us. Only a good mother could do such a thing." The words she spoke had a deep meaning, one only you two understood, and that made your heart flutter. You looked away, trying your best not to burst into tears again at the tragedy of the situation, but it was so hard when Arlecchino got like this. She only rarely showcased such blatant affection, such blatant declaration of her deep yet rather complicated love for you as her wife. "Please... Let's go home..." You simply whispered, which made her nod in approval.

You gazed up at the skies as you walked away, sunlight beginning to filter through the thick clouds and making you frown bitterly as it warmed your face. Arlecchino's hand meanwhile rested against your back, her watchful eyes gliding across the endless meadows you passed by, and for a moment, she could hear her children laughing, squealing and frolicking through the tall grass. They chased each other in a game of tag, running as fast as they could away from the two of you, over a hill and into what the Knave imagined to be their freedom far from her cold and stern ways. She cracked a bitter smile, one of acceptance as she glanced down at your tired, silently crying and trembling form.

Arlecchino was perhaps wrong after all. Maybe in the end the children did need a loving, nurturing mother instead.

What a shame, that it was too late to go back now.

Alright, so this took me all day to write, and I'm not sure if it's good, because I'm still very sick... but I still hope you liked this, Anon, and thank you again for the request!!!<33

[lxkeee]

TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN

-PART NINE

Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Seraphim Angel! Fem! Reader

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Genre: Angst (for now)

Warnings: family trauma/lore

Notes: TSOTSC finally reached 20k words, yippee!

PART ONE | PART EIGHT | PART TEN | NAVIGATION

Azrael looked at the female angel beside him, noticing the lovestruck expression on the girl's face. He looked at her with a deadpanned expression, lips pressed together in a thin line.

Azrael's deep black eyes followed her line of sight, landing on a light blond haired short male angel with rosy spots on his cheeks, Lucifer. Azrael grimaced, watching as Lucifer talked with Michael, Lucifer's twin brother.

Azrael can hear a satisfied sigh left [Y/n]'s lips, Azrael still doesn't know why the girl is so lovestruck with the guy. Lucifer's curiosity is a looming threat, everyone in the high council of angels can feel it but they can't do anything about it as the said angel hasn't done anything yet.

Azrael sighs, grabbing the cloud pillow off the couch so he could sit beside her, the cushioned seat sinking as he sat down. He nudges her, catching her attention.

“I still don't understand what you see on that guy.” he deadpans at her and [Y/n] rolls her eyes at the taller male.

“Do you want me to take out my 50 slide presentation again on why I like him so much?” [Y/n] asked with a raised eyebrow and Azrael flinched, raising his hands in defeat.

“No, thank you.” He mumbled, shuddering as he remembers the time she presented those slides to him, which he still didn't understand why she liked the boy so much. He was zoned out during all of the presentation.

Azrael sighs, chest heavy and tight. He doesn't understand why. The thought of his best friend getting married to someone else hurt for some reason.

“Make sure you won't regret it, you're getting married to him soon.” He deadpans and [Y/n] just laughed, “I won't. He won't do anything to hurt me.” she said confidently.

Azrael rolls his eyes playfully, “You seem confident with that statement.”

[Y/n] scoffs playfully, “Because I know him.”

“Do you really know him?” Azrael retorts back, raising an eyebrow at her. [Y/n] flinches slightly, Azrael is right. She's still 25 years old and so is Lucifer, they're both very young. They still have lots to learn about each other.

It doesn't matter, Lucifer loves her and she loves him back. They have an entire eternity to know each other.

With a long exhale, she turned to look at Azrael, “Maybe I may not know him entirely but I will be able to.”

Azrael just sighs, shaking his head, “Whatever you say [n/n], but if he does something... Don't tell me I didn't tell you so.” he chuckled and [Y/n] rolls her eyes playfully at him, nudging Azrael playfully.

“Hey, I know him. He's my best friend and we've known each other the moment we existed.”

Azrael scoffs playfully at her words, “Who knows? People change.” he says, crossing his arms over his chest. [Y/n] avoided his gaze and turned to look back at Lucifer who seems to notice her.

Lucifer gave her a wink and a charming smile, sending her a kiss to her way causing for her to blush and giggle.

Azrael rolled his eyes at the scene.

“They do and I hope he changes to become a better version of himself.”

After getting married to Lucifer, life felt good. Lucifer treated her so well, bringing her flowers everyday, giving her affections in every chance he gets.

Everything was fine until God created the first ever humans, [Y/n] knows how much of a curious man Lucifer is, naturally, he went out to observe them.

It created cracks in their relationship.

Lucifer began to go home later than usual, occasionally forgetting to give her affections.

And their topics—his topics have now shifted to God's newly created creature, a woman named Lilith.

[Y/n] had to endure the pain and heartache as she listens to her husband talk so fondly about the woman, complimenting Lilith in every possible chance he gets.

But nevertheless, [Y/n] remained to have confidence in him. Choosing to trust him, he is her husband after all. They've been together for many eons, she knows him.

Does she?

No, she doesn't.

Especially on what she's currently witnessing, [Y/n] hid between a large tree in the garden of Eden. She had the urge to check up on Lucifer, her instinct was screaming for her to do so.

Her nails are buried in the bark of the tree, ichor flows out of her fingertips as she tries to prevent a sob from escaping her lips. The wooden sensation of the wood against her fingertips, the stinging pain of the scratched skin of the tips of her fingers is what she felt.

With the additional sensation of the aching feeling that came from where her heart lies.

Warmth slid down her cheeks, bringing her gold covered fingertips to feel her skin.

Tears, the tears never seem to stop running down her beautiful yet sorrowful face.

Her eyes locked on to her husband, Lucifer—who looked at Lilith with so much affection in his eyes as he held the woman's hand.

‘Why... Why is he looking at her like how he used to look at me...?’

[Y/n] asked herself repeatedly in her mind. Each word got louder and louder on her mind, and each time she did, pain became more apparent to her internal voice as she asked herself in anguish.

‘Move... I need to leave... Move [Y/n]!’ she cried to herself, her mind screaming for her to leave. To save herself from even more heartbreak.

Yet, she remained still. Eyes fixed on the two.

Her hands slapped over her mouth to prevent sobs from escaping her plump and soft lips, eyelashes fluttering and glistening with tears. Warm sunlight filtering through the strands of her eyelashes, making the redness around her eyes more prominent.

Dull [e/c] eyes blankly staring at the two—her husband and a different woman.

Despite its dullness, her eyes were filled with anguish.

Tired, dull, and swollen.

No longer bright, hopeful, and happy. It's now filled with sorrow, and unimaginable heartache. Something an angel like her shouldn't feel. Yet, Lucifer Morningstar made that possible.

[Y/n] watches as her husband caresses Lilith's face, so affectionately.

Something she didn't experience from him lately.

“You're so beautiful.”

She heard him mutter to Lilith with a voice that carried so much emotion, it was enough to shatter her heart to tiny million pieces.

Finally gathering enough strength, she finally released herself from where she stood. Finally allowing herself to move, flying away swiftly and discreetly.

A single feather was what was left of where she once stood.

She arrived at her shared home with Lucifer, quickly locking herself inside their bedroom.

Her body slouches against the door as she slowly slides down to the floor.

Painful sobs left her lips, shoulders shaking as she buried her face into her hands.

‘No, no, no, no, no... I must be seeing things... Lucifer can't just fall in love with someone that easy...’ she laughs to herself, voice cracking and trembling as she did so.

Shaking her head as she desperately tries to make herself believe her own words.

“This must be a misunderstanding, that's right... I'll ask him when... When he comes back...”

She says to herself, voice lowering to almost a whisper.

‘That is... If he comes home...’

She thought sadly, supporting her shoulder on to her knees, burying her face into her arms. Strands of her hair falling off to the side of her face,  framing the heartbreaking picture of the face that belongs to a heartbroken angel.

‘He can't just... Leave me like that... He can't just break our vows.’

She thought to herself, her hands rubbing her sides for comfort.

She only has herself to comfort herself, her husband isn't here after all.

“When he comes back, the two of us will have a proper and mature conversation... I hope.” she says to herself weakly, picking herself up from the floor. Knees tremble from the weight of her emotions, chest filled with pain and heartache. She can barely breathe, she wonders if she was still breathing.

She felt like a walking corpse.

Wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her dress, the soft material of her dress providing comfort to her swollen and aching eyes.

She dragged herself across the room, finally approaching the full length mirror just by their closet.

She can see how much of a mess she is. Eye bags underneath her eyes, tear streaks evident on her cheeks, her hair a mess. Pale skin and chapped lips from severe dehydration from how much she cried.

‘Is that me...?’ She asked herself, finally processing what she's seeing, finally coming to the realization that the figure in the mirror is her own reflection.

She can barely recognize herself, she doesn't look like that. She doesn't remember looking so tired and so... Sad and pathetic.

‘This wouldn't do, I don't want Lucifer to see me like this..’ she thought to herself sadly, the face of Lilith flashing in her mind.

Lilith, the first ever human woman. Of course, someone as beautiful as her would be someone Lucifer would fancy.

[Y/n] couldn't help but compare herself to the woman. Lilith has bright and blemish pale skin, hers were a sickly kind of pale.

Lilith has bright and hopeful eyes, hers are dull and sad.

Lilith has a beautiful and blemish free face, hers are tired and dark bags are underneath her eyes.

[Y/n] shakes her head, getting rid of the negative thoughts that filled her mind.

“Stop that, Lucifer loved you just the way you are.” she says to herself, yet doubt was evident in her voice.

‘Loved. That's right, he probably doesn't love me anymore.’

She shakes her head once more, ‘Stop that, he hasn't told us that yet... So I shouldn't say something like that...’

‘I'll just clean myself first, make myself presentable. In case he ever comes home.’

She says to herself, dragging herself to the bathroom to freshen up.

He never came home that day.

She lies on their shared bed, coming to that realization as the clock finally hit one in the morning. The bed was cold and lonely, the warmth that was usually beside her isn't present.

Closing her eyes, allowing the tears to glide down her pale cheeks, the tears staining the pillowcase of her pillow.

Past memories flash on her mind, memories of where Lucifer and her were still happy and in love.

“You are my best friend, the love of my life... I am so lucky to be called yours.” Lucifer says to her, kissing her forehead.

They were still teens in love, young and stupid but in love.

“You are so cheesy, stop saying cheesy things you're making me flustered.” she giggles as he twirls her around, bits of the clouds around them fluttering due to their movements.

Lucifer giggles, dipping her effortlessly and presses his forehead against his, “But it's my job to make you flustered, darling.”

She giggles, pink dusting her cheeks, “I love you, Lucifer.”

“I love you too, darling.”

She cried herself to sleep that night.

She sat on the couch of their living room, the early sunlight filtering through the large windows of their home, giving their home some warmth. The warmth makes her forget the coldness of her skin and the numbness of her heart.

Her head whipped to the sound of the door being opened, lo and behold, her husband finally came home.

Her eyebrows furrowed, eye twitching. She was aching to snap at him but she took a deep breath and calmed herself down.

“Lucifer, where have you been?” she asked softly, voice cracking and trembling in each syllable.

Lucifer flinches, jumping slightly from surprise. He was surprised to hear his wife's voice. He didn't expect her to be awake so early in the morning.

He gave her a nervous smile, “Darling, why are you awake so early?” he asked, [Y/n] just continuously tapped her feet against the marble tiles.

“Enough of that, I know you have been spending time with that human.” she says softly and Lucifer's eyes widened, avoiding his wife's eyes because of guilt.

“It's part of my job, love—”

“Stop lying to me, Lucifer Morningstar.” she snaps, eyes glaring at him, “I didn't know telling her that she's beautiful is part of the job? Might I also include... Caressing her face? Was that part of the job? Tell me, Lucifer...”

“Are you tired of me...?” she asked softly, and Lucifer's eyes saddened.

“No, no, no... I can never be tired of you...” he says softly, he's unsure if he's lying to himself or not. But he desperately tries to believe that he's not tired of her. Yes, he still loves her... Right?

He doesn't know the answer to that.

“Then why...?! Why are you spending the majority of your time with her?!” she screamed, her voice filled with anguish as she grips her hair. She swore she ripped some strands but she's too much in pain to care.

Lucifer's eyes widened, surprised by her outburst.

“Because I'm trying to make her feel better because Adam hasn't been good to her and I hope you can find it in your heart to care for her just a little.” he says softly, remembering the things Lilith told him, how Adam was mean to her.

[Y/n]'s eye twitch, the nerve. Why would she care about her?

“Why would I care about her?!” she asked angrily, and Lucifer frowned, “Because I care about her.” he says honestly, annoyance evident in his voice.

“Morning, noon, and night I care about her, yet you cannot spare a single sympathy for her.”

[Y/n] was taken aback, the first time sensing such hostility from him. Her husband defending another woman when all she ever asked from him is his time, some time for her.

“I'm just asking why you're spending so much time with her! I am your wife, Lucifer... I need you too!” She exclaimed, her voice cracking in anguish, “You're barely home anymore and it's getting unbearably lonely in our house, I missed you so, so much... Please.. I need you.”

“For heaven's sake, [Y/n]... Lilith just existed and she's scared and confused and Adam is also not treating her right! She needs someone.” He sighs, blue eyes looking at tired [e/c] ones, he would've asked for her forgiveness for his tone, but he was blind with the sense of duty towards Lilith. He couldn't think straight. Neither of them can.

“So stop being selfish, I'll come back when you have cleared your head, okay...?” he says softly yet a tinge of sharpness in his voice, turning around to leave, his heels clicking against the marbled tiles in each step he took.

The sound of the door clicking as he closed it brought her back to reality.

Her legs gave out as she fell into the cold hard marble floor, kneeling like heaven's first ever sinner. Her sin? Falling in love with heaven's most beautiful angel.

Blinking, she tries to process what just happened.

She and Lucifer just had their very first fight, and she doesn't know how to process it.

‘Azrael was right, I really don't know him at all.’

She thought to herself sadly, wiping her tears with her wrist before a broken sob escaped her lips once more.

She was left alone crying to herself in an empty, cold, and lonely house.

Days passed by, both Lucifer and [Y/n] were ignoring each other, unsure how to approach the other.

[Y/n] remained unmoving in their bed, all alone and cold. It's been so long since she last took care of herself.

“I feel so tired and weak... Heaven's... I feel like I'm about to pass out.” she murmured weakly, turning around to look at the empty spot of her shared bed with Lucifer, to see the said man to be nowhere in sight. He hasn't been home for a few days now.

‘I am so tired... Maybe I should rest for a bit...’ she thought, her eyesight blurring from the lack of sleep, she kept waiting for Lucifer's return but the man was nowhere in sight.

She sighs sadly, her eyes drooping without notice.

She passed out.

She doesn't know how long she was asleep but the moment she woke up she was in Azrael's house, the man told her that she was asleep for days.

And also told her about the fall of both Lucifer and Lilith.

She still couldn't wrap her head around it, refusing to believe it.

Azrael sighs, taking a seat at the edge of the bed of where she was lying down.

“It's true, he and Lilith gave the apple to Eve... I'm afraid work is going to get much harder now that evil exists.” he spoke softly, eyes saddened as he looked at the downcast female.

He's wondering if this is the right time to tell her...

“And another thing... [Y/n]...?” he calls out softly to her, she looks at him with not a single light on her eyes.

“What is it...?”

“You're pregnant.” he says softly, [y/n]'s eyes widened.

“What...?”

[Y/n] gasped loudly as she sat up on the bed, her head whipping around to look at her surroundings.

She's back in her room, weren't she in hell before?

Her breathing was uneven, placing a hand over her chest to calm her fast beating heart.

‘Why now...? Why did the memory have to come back now...?’

Tears were cascading down her cheeks, pitiful sobs leaving her lips.

“Mom...?” a soft male voice calls out, the door to the room opening, the head of Xavier peeking through the small opening.

The boy's eyes widened when he saw his mother crying on her bed.

“MOM...?! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?! ARE YOU HURT SOMEWHERE?!” he asked, immediately rushing to his mother's side, kneeling beside the bed.

[Y/n] shakes her head slowly, “I'm alright, I just got a bad dream...” she admitted softly, small hiccups leaving her lips.

Xavier's [e/c] eyes softened, grabbing a clean handkerchief from his breast pocket that he hasn't used yet, using it to wipe his mother's tears away.

“Do you wanna talk about it...?” he asked softly, his hands gently dabbing the soft cloth on [y/n]'s face, making sure to dry her tear stricken face.

“A little bit...” she says softly, smiling gently towards her son. Her eyes saddened even more, Xavier really looked like Lucifer.

“That's alright, don't pressure yourself mom.” Xavier spoke softly, standing up so he could sit at the side of the bed, leaning down to give a kiss on his mother's forehead.

She nodded and took a deep breath, “I dreamt... About your father.” she says softly and avoids her son's eyes.

Xavier's eyes widened, his shoulders dropping but decided not to speak and allowed his mother to talk.

“I dreamt of the past, how happy me and him were used to and now... I don't even know anymore.” she laughs bitterly.

Xavier's hand clenched slightly before relaxing, “It's not your fault mom...”

“I know.”

Xavier sighs softly, “Mom...?” he calls out softly to her, [Y/n] hummed.

“I think we need to talk about him now, it's a long overdue topic.” he says softly to her and she flinches but sighs.

He's right, she's been avoiding this topic for so many eons. It's time to talk about it.

She sighs softly, “You're right... I think we should.” and Xavier smiled, proud of her. He always has been.

[Y/n] remained seated on her bed, thumbs playing with each other. Xavier has already left to do his usual routine around the house.

Their conversation about Lucifer has already ended, she told him everything about what happened. Told him why she loves him so much and what he did to hurt her.

She told him how she and Lucifer were together for how many years before marrying each other, she told him the things that he did that made her love him.

And she just can't let go of her feelings for someone that she loved for so many eons. It's not that easy.

Even after all these years, she can't forget.

[Y/n] sighs softly, her hair cascading down to her face, framing the shape of her face perfectly. She turned her head to the side to look at the window, she could see the large backyard forest-like garden.

Knock, knock, knock.

Her head whipped in the direction of the knock, she turned to look at the door to see Michael standing and leaning against the door frame lazily.

Her eyes widened ever so slightly, “Michael... What are you doing here??” she asked softly and Michael sighed as he entered the room and closed the door behind him.

“I came as I heard what happened, are you alright?” he asked worriedly, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. [Y/n] smiled and nodded, “Yes,I feel slightly a lot better now.”

Michael smiled though, his eyes still held a tinge of worry in them. He sighs, “[Y/n]... Do you want to stop this mission and let someone else do it?” he asked her softly and [Y/n]'s eyes widened.

“I am perfectly capable of doing this, Michael... Don't worry too much about me.” she says softly and Michael sighs once more.

“I'm just worried for you, everyone is.” he says sternly and [Y/n] frowns, “I know but I can assure you that I'm fine with doing this...”

Michael sighs once more, clearly already used to her stubbornness.

“If you say so,” he says softly before looking back at her once more, “—but if it's suddenly too much for you, don't hesitate to tell me okay?” he says sternly to her.

[Y/n] giggles softly, a small smile on her face, “Yes,I'll keep that in mind.”

Michael smiled and gave her a single nod, “You better.”

Michael's eyes widened, snapping his fingers as he seems to remember something, [Y/n] tilted her head at him, confused.

“I just remembered, Gabriel said she was gonna visit later.” he says deadpanning and [Y/n]'s lips tightened into a flat line, she gave Michael a deadpan, “Yay... I can't wait.” she says unenthusiastically.

Michael laughed softly and ruffled her hair, “I'm sure it wouldn't be too bad.”

“She's gonna lecture me again about how men are shit.” she says deadpanning at him as she remembers the times Gabriel kept on lecturing her about how Lucifer was just a man.

“That is so real, love that for her.” Michael says, nodding.

“Michael, you're a man.” [Y/n] says with a small smile while shaking her head with her eyes closed.

“Am I?”

[Y/n] turned to look at Michael... Who's now a woman now. She deadpanned at him, “Really?” She asked sarcastically with a small smile, Michael laughed out loud. His laughs reverberated around the room.

“I think I look gorgeous as one.” he says sassily, flipping his long blond hair behind his back.

[Y/n] giggled and Michael smiled, proud to make her happy.

“You're so silly, try wearing a maid dress next time.” she suggested playfully at him, giving him a wink.

“Don't push your luck.” he says deadpanning at her and she just laughs, holding her hands up in defeat, “Okay, okay... I won't.” she says in-between giggles.

He smiled and ruffled her hair, “Alright, alright... You seem to be feeling much better now,” he says standing up, giving her a small smile, “—I'll head out first, I still have some work that are needed to be finished.” he says with a long sigh.

[Y/n] giggles, “Alright then... Don't push yourself too much okay?” she says softly, her eyes looking at Michael with worry.

“I won't.” he says and she deadpans at him, “I know you're lying.”

“Shush.”

“I'll see you later, [N/n].” he says with a smile, [Y/n] smiled at him, “I'll see you later, Michael.”

“It's Michelle.” he says sassily once more, flipping his long blond hair dramatically making [Y/n] cackle, “Right... Michelle.. lmao.. I'll see you later, Michelle.” she says in-between snickers.

“Laterz girlfriend~” Michael says sassily as he left, transforming back to his male form as he did so.

[Y/n] was left alone in her room, but this time... She was laughing thanks to Michael.

© LXKE 2024; please do not steal, translate, or repost my works as your own.

TAGLIST I:

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[somerandomdudelmao]

I think this scene is so far my favorite part of the whole comic. Those three panels put my little writer's soul at ease. Major kudos from a storytelling point! It just accomplishes so freaking much. It highlights all of Leo's best character traits (love, strategic thinking, leadership skills), and fixes the problem of having an OP character in your story that otherwise would be able to solve the main conflict in a heartbeat. It does so much for Mikey. There is no one-person-per-portal limitation and I'll always end up wondering why they would not gather the resistance and simply take everyone and go. Sure Mikey might die or end up being left behind if he does so and of course, Leo/April/Casey would try to stop him but in the end, I feel like he would do it anyway cause as long as his family is saved Mikey does not mind. But with this clever twist, he can't do that, cause Leo would be stuck with him, alone and with no resources, and doomed. Not an option. Mikey loves his family above all. Don't get me wrong I think he'd sacrifice his own life to help everyone else (he does so already), but he would never sacrifice his brother. It's a greedy and beautiful love that always gets to me. The moral dilemma of one versus the many. Revealing the core of who you are and what you stand for. It makes him so much more real, more human. It elevates his character from good to great...

I don't know scenes like this - one willing to sacrifice himself and the other refusing - tend to come with a bitter aftertaste. But Leo is not brushing Mikey off. He says not 'no', therefore allowing Mikey's own agency to shine. And in adding his condition he still gives Mikey a choice ultimately helping to shoulder his brother's burden.

Don't get me started on Mikey's 'thank you' as a response cause I already have tears in my eyes! Here both of them bring the best out in each other and the thing I love the most is that it's never at the cost of the other.

All in all this scene is a great character moment, explains plot holes (from the movie), and did I forget something? Ah yes, sets up the upcoming conflict of Casey having to choose between them. And oh my gosh, I wouldn't want to be in his shoes. Leo's declaration to stay with Mikey makes it kinda unlikely for him to go with Casey and leave Mikey behind and though Mikey has some wiggle room in this regard, it is a decision that will not come lightly aka it hurts just to think about separating them...but then again they might even are not together in the first place. Wherever this may be. Who knows?

Thank you so much for creating and sharing this beautiful piece of art!!!

I..mhm..I mean...igdjndukvdjj sorry my brain don't want to do English words today. Thank you oh my god I don't know what to say it's just

T h i s

[seospicybin]

TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

PART III

Han x reader. (s)

Too Hot To Handle masterlist

Synopsis: You and Han become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (14,1k words)

Author's note: Despite my hectic rl, I finally finished season 4! Thank you for tuning in this far with me ❤️

HAN: Why did I have that wank? [Facepalms]

-

The group has lost another $10,000 and Han contributed $4,000 to that

It doesn't make him feel good letting everyone know that he rubbed one out in the shower earlier but also to everyone who will watch this show.

He wants to book a flight home immediately and never comes out of the house.

Han feels the need to apologize to you for what he did and worse is, not telling you about it. It's hard to get privacy so he waits until everyone leaves the dressing room to do that.

As you sit on your chair brushing your hair, he places a kiss on the top of your head, "Hi, nugget!"

You don't reply but keep untangling your hair with your fingers so he sits on the chair next to you, patiently waiting for you to soften around him.

After a moment, you look at him and softly sigh, "I can't believe you did that."

He hurriedly holds your hand to not let you go from his side, "I know," he meekly says.

"We've been here since day one and trying hard not to..." Your words trail off as you take a cotton pad and put something on it, "And we could have spent God knows how much by now if we did."

He nods and feels bad for it for letting you down, "Yes, know what you're saying," he confirms.

It's obvious to him now that you need time to cool down, he then holds your hand tight and turns your head to make you look at him.

"I'm sorry," he sincerely apologizes.

You put on a weak smile for him but a smile nonetheless, and then you tenderly kiss his cheek, "Wait for me in bed," you tell him.

He allows himself to hold you for a while and lands a quick kiss on your cheek.

"Don't make me wait long," he says as he softly nuzzles his nose in your neck.

-

HAN: I apologized but I still feel like I need to win her over.

-

When you finally come to bed, you seem to have gained your mood back but he remains cautious, he wants to be on your good side.

Han snuggles up to you, overlapping your body with his, and buries his head in your neck, inhaling your scent that puts him in an instant comfort.

The lights are off and not long after that, the chatter dies down the late it gets. He knows you're still awake from how you keep gently ruffling his hair with your fingers.

"Are you still upset?"

You weakly smile at how careful he is asking you that when you're not mad at all, just a bit taken aback.

"A little," you reply with your eyes closed.

He rests his head on his pillow and lays on his side facing you, "it's been hard not to do anything whilst getting closer," he says.

You hold the hand resting on your stomach and turn your head to look at him, "It's hard for me too," you mutter.

You lightly rub his forearm as you keep lowly talking to him, not wanting to disturb everyone else who sleeps in the room.

"I'm ovulating right now, I'm like... hornier than ever," you share with him.

"You what?" He asks in confusion.

"It's just... hard for me too," you skip on trying to explain what it's about.

He lowly chuckles at how you easily give in trying to explain it to him. He leans his head against the side of your head, "How can I not touch you when you're getting hotter and hotter every day, mmh?"

You hate how easy it is for him to make you melt with such cheesy words, you keep your cool and respond with a scoff.

He then places a long kiss on your cheek with his hand cupping your jaw, "And I'm getting more and more smitten," he adds.

You scoff again but you can't help but smile this time, "Cringe!" you respond.

He grins as he nuzzles his head in your neck and whispers into your ear, "I like you so much."

It's been a long time since you haven't felt this admired and adored by someone, it feels good and flattering. You feel like you owe it to him to tell him how you feel.

You look to the side and put your hand on his chin, turning his head to make him look at you.

"I like you too," you mutter to him and your heart is quivering, overflowing with warm feelings.

There's no excuse for this but you feel the urge to show him too so slowly you press your lips on him, kissing him with all of your heart.

-

YOU: At that moment, I feel like it's the right thing to do so I... I kissed him [bites thumb]

-

Han doesn't know how you end up straddling him and now, taking your camisole off of you. He hurriedly covers your body with the duvet as you lean down, kissing him on the neck and around his chest.

He wants to touch you all over, however, his hands are trained to stay on the safe side. He can only hold you as you place kisses across his chest.

"Baby, oh..." he forgets what he's about to say as you land a hot kiss on the column of his neck.

Your body is hovering above him as your hand wanders down his body, all the while your nipples are lightly grazing his chest.

He's high with your kisses but the moment your hand tugging at his boxer, his eyes snap open.

"You want to do it?" He asks.

You slip your hand under the waistband of his boxer, "we can stop," you simply resolve.

It's sneaky of you to throw the ball at his court. You know he wants this, therefore, how can he stop you? If anything, he wants more of you.

"I don't want to stop," he shamelessly admits.

Successfully taking his boxer off, he turns you over and has you pinned underneath him. He takes his turn to bury his mouth on your neck, kissing you down to your chest and he goes under the duvet to plant kisses on your stomach.

His fingers are tugging at the thin strap of your underwear before pulling it down and off your legs, you take it for me to put it on the bedside table.

There's nothing between your bodies now, it's just his skin rubbing against your skin. He watches as you look at your hands, trailing his shoulder blades then drag them down to feel the firmness of his muscles.

Then you slip your arms under and pull him close, sending him to collapse on top of you.

"You're so hot," you speak so low it's almost like a whisper.

You put your hand in the back of his hair and gently tug at his hair, "You're fire," you playfully compliment with a sly grin.

Han can say the same thing, except that he has not yet wrapped his head around the fact that you're both naked under the duvet. He can feel your body heat and the softness of your skin that he can't stop touching you.

"You're so beautiful," he mutters with an overwhelming sigh.

It feels as if there were only you and him existing at the moment that he completely forgot about everyone else sleeping in the room. He doesn't even remember that he has rules to follow.

Han presses a kiss on your lips and it continues into a slow, sensual making out where he can taste your lips, the plush and the warmth of it.

You let out a low moan as he pulled away from the kiss and without warning, put your legs around his waist to not let him go.

There's nothing to hide when you can feel his hardening member poking at your thighs, it's swollen and he's ready for you.

Seeing you spreading your legs open for him, he knows that he gets the permission to proceed with things.

Han reminds himself that he needs to calm down but rather than that, he does the opposite.

He gets hit by so many things all at once, how he shouldn't be doing this, about the money, and that everyone would be disappointed with him because of it. Everything is mixed inside his head and it overwhelms him.

He looks at you and the soft smile on your face, he knows you both want it but it seems like his body is failing him.

"I'm–" he swallows air to relax.

"I'm too tense," he says, shaking his head in panic.

He then collapses on top of you and hides his head in your neck, "I'm sorry," he murmurs with so much regret.

"It's okay," you assure him with a loving pat on his head and endearingly brush his hair to comfort him.

"It's embarrassing," he whines with his head still buried in your neck.

"It's okay, baby," you place a long kiss on his neck to convince him.

You both stay like that, syncing his breathing to the rising and falling of your chest as he rests his head on it and starts to get drowsy.

"We should put our clothes back on," you suggest before he falls asleep.

He reluctantly gets up and starts looking for his boxer, he gets panicked for losing it.

"I can't find it," he lowly speaks.

You wait until you put on your underwear to reply to him, "Huh?"

He clutches the duvet close to his chest, "I can't find my boxer," he says with intensified panic in his voice.

You stop him from pulling the duvet since you're not properly dressed yet and you're aware of the camera filming everything.

"Give me a second, I'll help you find it," you quickly put your camisole back on to help him.

He wraps himself in the duvet and gets off the bed, frantically looking for his boxer around the bed.

"It's nowhere," he says out loud.

You immediately put your hand to cover his mouth and he only realizes it now that he said it out loud. You press your mouth on his chest to muffle your laughter.

"I'm naked," he lowers his voice but says it with so much urgency in it.

"Okay but shh..." You mutter while silently laughing at the way he made a fool of himself out of panic.

You hurriedly look for it on the floor, perhaps one of you kicked it off the bed. You squat down, groping around in the dark while he waits, sitting on the bed wrapped in duvet.

"Got it! Here!" You hand it to him and climb onto the bed.

Still hiding inside the duvet, he quietly puts his boxer back on. It only hits him now how stupid everything was, he's regretting the way he behaved.

You peer inside the duvet and sweetly ask, "Can I join?"

He can let the duvet go and lay down on the bed next to you, he doesn't say anything but snuggles up to you. He feels bad for how things turned out.

"Hey," you softly scratch the hair behind his ear.

You wait until he looks at you to say, "I told you it's okay."

That makes you grateful that he's with you, he's not sure if anyone else would handle this well but you're so patient with him, and you understand him so much.

You bring your mouth close to sweetly kiss him on the cheek, "We'll get our time, mmh?"

He takes your hand and kisses it before resting it on his chest.

-

HAN: This makes me realize that she means a lot more to me than just sleeping with her.

-

There are times when Han looks exceptionally attractive and now he's looking exactly it. His upper body is in its glorious state, muscular chest and stomach on display and his skin is moist with sweat.

He's about to get into the shower when you step into the bathroom, pulling him by the hands to join you to sit inside the empty bathtub.

"So, what's our game plan?" You ask him.

He holds the back of your legs and pinches at the flesh, "Game plan for what?" He plays dumb.

You snort and put your hands on his shoulders, playfully slapping at it, "Should we tell everyone or wait for Lana to expose it?"

He takes your hands and intertwines them together on his knees, "And being scolded twice? No, thank you," he waves your idea away.

Well, you kind of hope that by telling them firsthand, they wouldn't be as mad when they find out about it from Lana. Yet you shudder thinking of being yelled at twice for breaking the rules.

There's another thing to be concerned about.

You put your hands on his neck and lean in close, lowering your voice as you ask, "Do you even know how many times we kissed?"

He suppresses his laughter and it forms a wide grin on his face, he's shaking his head having no idea how much you spent last night.

You lean in closer and lower your voice, "We kissed so many times," you remind him.

Then you get reminded of the hilarity of the situation last night and he seems to recall the same thing as you both break into laughter while looking at each other.

"You messed up," he mischievously accuses you.

"No," you deny, "you messed up!"

He pulls you close and keeps pulling you but you refuse to hug him since he's sweaty, "No, I don't want to hug you."

"Why not?"

"You're dirty," you reply.

"I am dirty," he says with a sly smirk and a wink.

With your hands on his chest, you push him away and get up, then step out of the tub.

"Come shower with me," he says.

You turn around to say, "No."

He uses the towel he's holding to slap your butt with it, "Come shower with your dirty boy!"

"No!" You persist, half-laughing.

Han gets out of the tub to chase you but before he can do that, you run out of the bathroom.

-

YOU: I'm just a little concerned about how everyone is going to react [hisses air]

-

It's another workshop for the boys and you're hanging out in the bedroom to escape the harsh sunlight at this hour of day.

You're on the bed with Avery and she's trustworthy enough to you, you feel like you can share about the infraction you did last night with her.

"How mad everyone will be when they know I did something last night?" You whisper to Avery, talking against the loud chat of Nya and Gwen on the other bed.

Avery tries to suppress her surprise and glares at you, "Depends..."

She puts her hair away to get more of the details, "What did you do?" She asks with a curious smile.

You can't recall last night without laughing and Avery patiently waits until you stop to tell her about it.

"What? What did you do?" She gets even more curious, dying to know what makes you laugh like that.

You catch a breath to calm yourself and hesitate to tell her everything about it, mostly because you want to spare Han from the shame.

"We almost had sex last night," you speak in a hushed tone.

Avery's mouth is gaping open and her hand flies to her mouth to cover it, "almost?"

You nod in confirmation.

It gets exciting to her that she leans in closer, not letting anyone hear about this and keeping this between the two of you, "What happened?"

To be honest, you have no idea how things went last night next thing you know you were naked under the duvet and you were all over each other.

"We kissed and got carried away... in the middle of it we just kind of stopped, you know," you tell her, not letting her in on the major plot twist.

"Oh?" She gasps.

"I couldn't remember how many times we kissed," you truthfully tell her.

She squints her eyes at you, "It's that good, huh?"

You chuckle at that and shake your head, "We got carried away and just didn't think of the rules at that moment."

Avery licks her lower lips and starts fiddling with the end of her braided hair, "I think they will be mad at how much money you spent on it," she says.

You may not remember how many times you kissed but you know it's worth a lot of money, "Yeah..." you agree even though you're in an impending doom.

"Everyone wouldn't be as pissed if they were still a lot of money to spend but babe, we barely have anything left," she reminds you.

Hearing that makes you feel worse about it and you regret telling anyone about it.

-

YOU: I... [rubs temples] I hope Lana goes easy on me [nervously laughs]

-

What is his problem, really?

Isn't it clear that he shouldn't be flirting with someone's girl blatantly like this? Han needs to do an intervention so he walks over to you, putting his arms around you in a possessive way.

"I've been looking for you, you sexy little minx!" He murmurs with a kiss on your neck.

Han glances at Ed and stares at him until he turns away, leaving you alone like he wanted.

You take his wine glass and steal a sip of his wine, giving the glass back to him afterward. While holding him close, you bring your mouth close to his ear to ask, "Do you think Lana will drop the bomb today?"

You seem more nervous than usual and he starts to think that perhaps it's a good idea that the two of you didn't end up having sex last night.

He sips his drink before talking, "I think so."

"I think everyone is going to be fuming," you tell him with a nervous laugh.

Han wants to sound convincing but he can't lie to you, you know that he's just as nervous, only that he masks it well.

"We got each other," he says.

And that's the only thing he can promise you, that no matter what happens, you can rely on him as much as he relies on you.

You look at him and smile, "I know."

If it wasn't for the stupid rules, he would have kissed your lips but for now, he settles with a kiss on your cheek.

-

HAN: I hope that despite the rule breaks we did, everyone didn't think that what we have is purely physical.

-

It's too early for you to relax but the night is getting late and you have drank all the three glasses of wine you're allowed to have for the day.

You're lounging in the firepit with Mikaela and Rio and Gwen being the chatty girl she is, sharing a funny story with everyone.

It's moments like this that you'll be missed once you leave the retreat.

Somehow your mind wanders too far off and you start thinking about life outside the retreat. It's hard in this retreat because of the rules but you think it's going to be a lot harder in the outside world.

You look at Han as he laughs at Asher's joke and hits by a wave of sadness that this is going to end soon. What you're afraid of the most is the change, things will change once this ends.

You kiss his cheek and it takes him by surprise, "What's that for?"

You smile then look away, "I just wanted to."

Han puts his hand on your neck and presses a long kiss on your cheek, not letting go until he runs out of breath.

"I wanted to do that," he says once he pulls away and places another kiss on your temple.

"Ugh, stop being so cute!" Mikaela says with a hint of jealousy.

"That's why she likes me, I'm cute," Han proudly says with his gummy smile.

Catching everyone off their guard, Lana chimes in and tells everyone to gather in the cabana.

-

YOU: I am shitting it [laughs uncontrollably]

-

The anxiety kicks in and your body turns rigid no matter how much Han is trying to relax you by placing rubs on your back.

Han knows how to play calm but you, you're just bad at hiding your anxiety. Your jaws are clenched, your foot is nervously tapping the floor and your fingers are picking at the ripped hole on Han's jeans.

When the melodic chime comes in, your heart drops.

"I must inform you that there's a breach of the rules," Lana informs.

And it's a bad thing when she talks without greeting first, that means she's not pleased, Lana is mad.

"Okay, you guys know what to do," Finn says with a tense expression on his face.

"Not us," Rio couldn't deny the allegation faster, shifting everyone's attention away from them.

You feel like wanting to shrink into a microscopic size and just disappear, however, you must face it, owning up to your mistakes.

Avery secretly glances at you with a subtle knowing smile on her face, probably trying to tell you that it's best to come forward.

You look at Han and he smiles at you, he then looks the other way and says, "It was me."

Mikaela dramatically gasps and looks at you, "What did you do?"

You place your hand on his back, letting him know that you're right there with him.

"We kissed a couple of times," he replies to her.

You hate to add to it but you must tell them everything, "A bit of heavy petting too."

"How many times is a couple of times?" Fabian asks.

You sense that things are heating and you remind yourself to keep calm, "We got a little carried away, that's what happened so we're not really sure how many times we did it—"

"What do you mean not sure?" Nya asks.

Han holds your hand to both comfort and strengthen him, "You know it's actually great that we stopped there," Han says.

"What happened?" Asher asks.

Whenever you recall last night, you burst into laughter, and that makes him laugh too. Everyone is just looking at you in confusion.

Han to compose himself first to answer them, "We almost had sex."

"Almost?" Gwen repeated.

"We didn't. Calm your knickers down!" You didn't mean to be snarky but well.

Asher is the only one having fun with this information, "You shouldn't have beaten one out yesterday, bro!"

Everyone is laughing and you throw your arms around him, feeling embarrassed for him but at the same time, wanting to comfort him.

Han looks at the staff and asks, "Can I call my mom?"

Everyone's laugh dies down as Lana drops the bomb, "Your indiscretion has cost the group $20,000."

The hilarity of the moment evaporates into the air and is replaced by a dark shadow hanging over everyone's heads.

"The prize fund now stands at $45,000," Lana updates.

Avery rubs her temple and loudly sighs, "There's not much left to it," she meekly says.

The guilt is gathering in the pit of your stomach, making you feel sick and a little faint. There's nothing you can say to defend yourself so you keep your head down and stay quiet.

"I asked you to respect my rules and you continued to break them."

-

YOU: Uh-oh! Lana is mad, MAD!

-

"I'm setting you to the ultimate test to see if you can adhere to my retreat rules under the most trying circumstances."

Test? Han has never been good at tests and not to mention, it's a test from Lana so he knows it wouldn't be easy. It's called a test for a reason.

Also, he doesn't like the sound of the last two words Lana said but they linger in his head far longer than he lets them.

"You will spend the night in the private suite."

Han exchanges a nervous glance with you, realizing that the two of you are in deep trouble Lana has to set you both on a test.

The others are either sighing or groaning, they don't like the idea of putting the two of you together in a suite. He hates to think badly of them but he doesn't like their reactions either.

"You trust us though, right?" Han asks them.

There's a shrug, an inaudible answer, and a lot of pessimism that only adds to the animosity in the air, he can't stand it anymore.

Han clicks his tongue and sighs, "Well, thank you for the support you guys," he sneers with a thin smile.

He puts his arm around you because he knows you're the only one on his team.

"Please make your way to the private suite," Lana orders.

He couldn't wait to exit this situation and spend the rest of the night with you away from everyone. He offers his hand to help you get up from the bed.

"Hey, Han," Rio calls him.

He turns around to look at him, "Yeah?"

"Don't do things I wouldn't do," he says.

"Is there anything you didn't do?" Han replies back with a grin.

Rio laughs in response and Han leaves the cabana, taking you by the hand to the private suite.

-

HAN: [looks down at his crotch] Just hold on as long as you can, okay? Don't embarrass myself any more than I already have. [Laughs]

-

This is not a bad thing after all.

Han never thought that he'd ever get to see the private suite and now he's here.

He's the first to enter the suite with you trailing behind him, looking around the room that has been set to a sensual setting with candles and rose petals littering the bed.

"Oh, thank you, Lana!" He shouts his gratitude out loud wherever Lana is.

Carefully, he hoists you with his two arms, attempting to carry you like newlyweds. You squeal as he struggles to get you to bed and he ends up, sending both of you collapsing onto the bed.

He has you pinned under him, using the chance to admire your beautiful face as he's catching his breath. The temptation to kiss you is so strong and the test barely started yet.

You softly nuzzle your nose against his and put your hand on the back of his head, "I don't want to break rules anymore," you mutter.

As much as he wants to do anything imaginable to you, he doesn't want to let people down anymore, so he agreed. He nods and endearingly caresses your cheek with his knuckle.

"Yeah. Me too," he says, making his mind on the spot.

He allows himself to plant his mouth on your neck, "We're mature. We're adults now. We can do this," he tells you, suddenly feeling optimistic about passing the test.

A grunt falls out of his mouth as you put your legs around his waist. You bring your mouth close to his ear and breathlessly whisper, "But I kind of want to continue last night."

Well, there goes his optimism, leaving his body the second you mutter the idea to him. Fuck continuing last night, he wants a do-over and this is the perfect opportunity to do it.

Suddenly, he feels like doing whatever he wants. He looks at your face that is mere inches away from his, "Oh, yeah, fuck money!"

-

HAN: My head gets a bit naughty when it comes to her. She's just so hot.

-

"Yes, get those titties out," he excitedly says as he watches you taking off your dress.

Han knows you've been wearing nothing underneath but thin black underwear. He feels your naked body against his but it's different now that he sees you with his own eyes and admires it as much as he wants.

With his body soaked in the warm water, Han rests his head on the edge of the tub, he's biting his lower lip as he watches you pulling your underwear down your legs.

"How are you so hot, baby?" He asks you in disbelief.

You're giggling seeing his wide eyes following you as you get into the tub, sitting down on the other end of the tub.

"We should have a toast," You suggest

"Oh fuck, I left the bottle in the room," he fumbles to get out of the tub.

He's covering his private part with his hand to retrieve the bottle of wine and returns with the bottle clamped under his arm.

You crawl over in the tub to sit on his lap, putting your legs around him even though you both know it's not a good idea.

"What?" You ask while chuckling.

As if that wasn't enough, you put your arms around his neck, sending your breasts squashed between your chests.

"I want to put my legs around your sexy little waist," you innocently say.

He grabs his drink and gulps it down, you refill it for him to have another toast, clinking your glasses together before taking a sip.

"You know what you look like?" He asks.

You laugh even before he tells you the answer, "What?"

"Like a popsicle," he answers with his hand splashing water onto your shoulder.

He tries to seduce you but he gets an unexpected reaction from you, you laugh instead of getting frisky like he imagined it would be.

"I just want to lick you," he says to you with a flirty wink.

"Lick it then," you encourage him with a seductive smile and a sultry gaze.

He is indeed going to lick you with or without your permission, he lands a long lick up the column of your neck as you tip your head to the side, allowing him to plant his mouth on it.

Can't stop himself, he plants kisses down to your chest and buries his head in there while you're holding him close with your arms around his neck.

As if the water in the tub suddenly risen a few degrees, he feels hot inside and out.

-

HAN: [groans] I'm trying to be good here!!!

-

The two of you don't take things seriously but that doesn't mean that it does nothing when he looks at you with such lustful eyes and you spread your legs open to tease him.

He crawls onto the bed and hovers above you, placing a long kiss on your collarbone, letting it go with a gasp.

Slowly, he puts his body on top of you but propped an elbow against the mattress to not put his whole weight on you.

"Can you resist me?" He asks with a hoarse voice.

You look up at him and nod.

He holds your jaw and puts his thumb on your lips, pulling at it to feel the plush of it.

"Why are you so hot?" He asks in a mix of disbelief and awe.

You smile at his word and let your hands touch his muscular chest. You use only your fingertips to feel the outline of his muscles and down to his stomach where it feels less firm but more softer.

Feeling playful, you pinch at his tummy but it does nothing to him because he's too busy listing over your body. He seems frustrated to not be able to feel you all over and he best believes that you feel the same way too.

"I can't resist you," he says to you with his hot breath brushing your cheek and rubbing his bulging crotch against your thigh.

"What should we do about it?"

You put your hands around him and gently claw at his back, "I'm open to anything," you daringly say.

On one side, you want to fuck it and just do whatever you want but on the other, you really want to prove everyone wrong, that you have a genuine connection with Han.

But God! It's so hard to not touch him when his body is pressed close against yours.

"Let's settle this," Han suddenly says, rolling over to the side to get a rose from the bedside table.

He sets a pillow against the headboard of the bed and invites you to sit next to him. You eagerly snuggle to him, resting your head on his shoulder.

"I pick one, then you pick one," he says, holding the rose between him and you.

Han starts first, picking a petal off the rose then says, "Have sex."

You let out a chuckle before taking your turn, pulling at the rose petal, "Don't have sex."

He goes next, picking another petal and tossing it away, "Have sex."

"Don't have sex," you mutter while throwing away the rose petal to the back.

"Have sex."

"Don't have sex."

You continue taking turns stripping away the petals off the rose until there are a few left. You rip one off and leave one last petal on the rose.

Han grins knowing the result of his unusual way of settling the matter, he gladly picks the last petal off with a sly smile on his face and says, "Have sex."

You both look at each other as he seductively gazes into your eyes with a smirk dancing on his face. How can you say no when he's intensely looking into your eyes with so much want in his eyes?

-

YOU: Ugh! This is torture.

-

Han shrugs and then throws the bare rose away, pulling you close with his hand holding the back of your thighs. He deeply looks into your eyes as he mutters, "Even the universe wants us to have sex."

You snort at the way he put it and continue laughing as he tickles your neck with his nose.

"Take your clothes off!"

"No!"

You manage to break away from his hold and roll over to the side, taking something from the tray of sex toys on the bedside table.

Bring it with you, you're straddling him on the bed, and place a hand on his chest to hold him down.

"You've been very, very bad," you tell him and hit him with the leather flogger on his arms.

"Ow!" He yelps in pain.

His hand flies to rub the skin, "That hurts!" He grumbles.

"You're supposed to feel the pleasure in the pain," you tell him, tickling his chest with the flogger.

"No," He shakes his head, "It's just pain."

You both break into laughter at the same time yet you continue flogging him, this time, doing it gentler to not hurt him.

"Who's your mommy, huh?"

"My mom," he answers.

"Wrong answer!" You hit him on the ribs with the flogger.

You lean in close and try again, "Are you my good boy?"

He holds you by the waist and nods, "Yes, I am," he answers

"But I don't want a good boy," you say with a pout.

"I'm a bad boy," he changes his mind almost immediately.

You lean in closer until you can feel his breath on your lips as he speaks, "How bad?"

"Very bad!"

"Really?"

"Yeah..." he breathlessly says.

You pull away and slyly smile at him, brushing his chest with the end of the flogger, then put it away. You prop a hand against the mattress to hover above him, leaving a few inches between your faces.

"A bad boy is not afraid to break rules," you say with a soft caress on his cheek.

He's gripping your waist as your leg rubs at his inner thigh, "Yeah..."

"Are you bad enough to break the rules?" You ask him with a soft, wet kiss on his jaw.

"Yeah..." his voice is slightly quivering and teasing him like this makes you hornier than before.

You prop your other hand on the bed, caging his body in between your arms and looking down at him with his eyes wide and dark with lust.

"Take your clothes off!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

-

YOU: Let's say... we had a lot of fun [smirks]

-

It's too early or you personally think it is.

You force your eyes open and see that the curtains are already open, showing it's bright outside. Instead of waking up, you snuggle close to Han as he's still soundly sleeping next to you.

Without opening his eyes, he draws you closer and plants a kiss on the top of your head.

"We should get up," you sleepily tell him with your eyes still closed.

"Mmh..." he answers with a hum.

You turn your head to give him a morning kiss on the cheek, greeting him once you pull away, "Morning, sexy man."

He puts his arm around you, trying to make you stay snuggle close to him. He eventually gives in and takes your hand to hold instead.

You grab your water tumbler and take a big sip before sitting on the bed, letting Han rest his head on your lap. You put your hand in his air and play with his tousled hair.

"You were so sexy last night," you mutter.

That gets his ear perking up and his head turns to look at you, "I know," he confidently says.

"So hot," you emphasize the word with a heavy sigh.

Han turns over to lay face up with his head still resting on your lap so he can look at you, "Let's not go back."

You hold his head with both hands and gently squeeze his cheeks with your fingers, "You want to stay here?"

"Mmh," he says, placing his hands on yours.

This moment feels tender and intimate, you rarely get a moment like this with everyone in the retreat so to finally be able to be alone with him and fully enjoy each other's presence, you feel a lot more closer than ever.

"I don't mind staying here," you say with a nonchalant shrug and another squeeze on his squishy cheeks.

"Give me a kiss!" He cutely demands with his lips puckered.

To compensate for not being able to kiss him on the lips, you kiss him on both cheeks.

-

YOU: Wake up this morning feeling great and amazing. I just can't wait to share my happiness with everyone [smiles]

-

"Hello, Negative Nancy's!" Han pokes fun at everyone as he leads you into the cabana.

They look rather tense for his joke that no one is laughing at it. Probably because not only that it still early in the morning, but they're haunted by the possibility that they may lose more money today.

Especially after seeing that you're wearing his shirt with a radiant smile on your face. He reckons everyone already thinks that they have lost the money that isn't even theirs in the first place.

To be exact, no one owns it yet.

"How was your night, bro?" Asher asks, looking rugged with his long hair tied in a messy bun.

"Fucking great!" He answers without a beat, putting everyone on the edge of their seats with it.

He turns his head at you and asks, "It was fun, yeah?"

You nod with the smile not wearing off of your face, "It was nice and romantic, there were candles and roses and champagne..." you add.

He can see that Gwen is quietly rolling her eyes either in jealousy or displeased with what she heard. But Han is having fun teasing them and so are you.

"Did you do something?" Nya asks with her hand propped under her head.

Han glances at you then lets out a long sigh, "We're not sure..."

Mikaela gets triggered by it, "What do you mean by that?"

He puts his arm around you and puts on a cryptic smile, "We did a lot of things," he says.

"We used a sex toy or two," you egg on it, playing along with his scheme.

"We're just not sure if they were rule breaks or not," he says with a nonchalant shrug.

There are groans and sighs, it seems that he's succeeded at annoying them. He then looks at the cone sitting in the middle of the table.

"Let's just ask Lana!" He simply resolves.

Not long after, Lana comes with that melodic chime that twists everyone's stomach and makes them sit up straight in their seats.

"Hello, everyone," Lana begins with her usual greeting.

Most of everyone is half-heartedly replying to her while Han tries to lighten up the mood with a cheery one, "Hello, lovely Lana!"

"Last night, you spent the night in the private suite and were forbidden from any form of physical contact."

He doesn't really need the reminder but sure, Lana is cooking something in here and he hopes it's something good.

"I can reveal that..."

He takes your hand to get your attention and flashes you a goofy smile, he knows no one else is going to have fun with him except you.

For someone who spent the most money in the retreat, Rio looks nervous, Han sees that he puts his hands together as if he were praying.

And for artificial intelligence, Lana knows how to build suspense.

"They did not break the rules," Lana finally announces.

Everyone is cheering and whooping, clapping their hands his way. He never thought that these many people would be happy knowing he didn't get to sleep with the hot girl.

But he allows himself to hug you, congratulating each other for what you achieved together.

"For the record, I trusted you that you two will pass it!" Asher says with a proud smile.

But it doesn't stop there, Lana has another announcement.

"As a reward for passing my test, I'll return the money to the prize fund which now stands at $100,000."

Now everyone is going crazy. The boys are throwing themselves at him and pile on him while he struggles to get away.

-

HAN: Your boy Han did it! [Throws fist in the air]

-

Strangely, you feel good for not having sex with a guy you like but it feels great to see everyone is happy about it.

After all, this was a test to prove to everyone that what you have with Han is genuine, it's meaningful. Nothing feels better than proving everyone wrong.

Everyone is settling down, returning to their seats since Lana has not yet done talking.

"Do you feel that you have made a deeper emotional connection?" Lana asks both of you.

"Yes, absolutely," you reply without a beat.

"A hundred percent, yes," Han answers not long after.

You're busy brushing his messy hair from everyone ruffling and patting his head.

"You probably think that I'm a joker, always joking but what I have with her is serious, it's genuine and I..." he turns his head to look at you, "With us passing the test, it's the proof of that."

This is when you find Han the most attractive when he speaks out with confidence but with all honesty. You believe your eyes have hearts in them as you look at him.

Avery and Gwen are cooing at the same time, melting on their seats and you like seeing jealousy in their eyes.

Everyone else is giving you both a round of applause for being the couple that they never expected to grow this much in this retreat. They probably didn't expect that you would end up with Han.

Taking you by surprise, both of your watches chime and turn green. It takes you a while to register what it means, you slowly turn your head to have his hand cupping your jaw, crashing his lips against you.

The kiss feels so special and rewarding, you allow yourself to be open, pouring all of your heart out into the kiss, ignoring everyone else who is watching and cooing at you.

Dare you say, it feels like a movie scene.

-

YOU: I'm glad that we got the green light and that shows that we have something real. I just can't wait for what comes next to us [smiles]

-

Han is going for a swim on the beach with Rio and Fabian when they get curious about last night.

"Was it hard, man?" Rio asks because the idea of being in a room with a girl and not having sex is a lot for him to comprehend.

"Rock hard," Han immediately replies.

"I bet, I bet," Fabian says while laughing and splashing water onto his toned abs.

They're all laughing with their bodies engulfed in the saltwater, facing the sun that is slowly sinking into the horizon.

"How do you feel about her now?" Fabian asks.

It's surprising to hear the question coming from this God-like man, it makes him look deep into his heart to answer it.

"I feel a lot closer, man," Han honestly says.

Anyone other than you or himself wouldn't get it and comes from him who was once anti-Lana, he can see that he slowly changing his course, he's learning the lesson now.

"I just think we're very similar, we have the same energy, I like little things about her," he stops himself as he's aware he's foolishly smiling as he talks about you.

Fabian is cooing at him and lands a pat on his shoulder.

"I was with a girl once, thought she was everything and she obviously let me down so whenever a girl comes in, I just... can't commit anymore," he doesn't know where it comes from but he feels comfortable to share it with them.

"You don't want to get hurt again, yeah," Rio is nodding along to his words.

"And now I'm here and it's completely changed everything," he says.

Rio takes it that Han is onto something, "So, what do you have in mind?"

Han inhales air as he takes in the beautiful view, "I feel like it's time I make her my girlfriend," he says.

Without warning, Fabian punches his arm almost sending him staggering in the water, he holds Rio's shoulder to steady himself.

"Aw, man..." Rio says, sounding like a proud man.

Not enough by punching his arm, Fabian jumps onto Han's back sending them both falling into the water and Rio joins him to playfully sink him into the water.

-

HAN: It's been a long time since I got close to somebody so this is a big deal for me. I don't know if I have the guts to ask her.

-

Your time in the retreat is coming close to an end and out of all the parts of this big villa, you're going to miss this dressing room the most.

It's not just a room where you do your make-up and hair, but it's also where everyone usually gathers and fools around with each other. So many things happened in this room.

After taking a shower, you decide to may as well start getting ready for the night. You're not the only one having a head start, Gwen is there curling her hair into loose waves that frame her small face.

"I don't know what I'm going to wear tonight," you share as you sit on your chair next to her.

To be honest, you run out of clothes to wear now that the retreat is about to end and you kind of want to look your best.

"You can borrow mine, babes," Gwen kindly offers.

You softly laugh and make fun of yourself, "It would be loose around the chest, I'm afraid."

Gwen has the kind of laugh that sounds more like a shrill and it's filling the room as the two of you continue chatting about things while doing make-up.

Until Han comes into the dressing room and sits across from you. You look away from your mirror to see him, "Hey, pickles."

He slumps on his chair and compliments you out of the blue, "You look gorgeous, babe!"

You lowly chuckle as you keep filling your eyebrows, "I'm not done with my eyebrows yet," you tell him.

Then Han gets quiet and you keep glancing at him because he looks like he has something to say but he seems to hesitate.

You know he has that awkwardness in him but it's not it. Something is off and he looks nervous but he's too afraid to tell you about it.

You're about to open your mouth to ask what it is but the cone in the room chimes, making everyone startled on their seats.

"Oh, fuck, I feel sick when Lana comes on," Gwen says with her hand clutching her chest.

"Hello, guests!" Lana greets.

It makes you nervous still whenever Lana speaks even though you know you don't do anything wrong, "Yes, my darling?"

Then Lana calls both of your names, making your head turn at the cone in the corner of the room. Then you glance at Han, "What have we done now?"

Han who's faintly biting his lower lip shrugs in utter confusion.

"As an existing couple in this retreat, I am sending you on a date for a chance to open up and form a deeper connection."

-

YOU: Oh, finally! Lana came with good news!

-

The first thing that you both do after receiving the news is get off your chairs and run towards each other, you throw yourself at him as he catches you, hoisting you against his body.

"A date! Yay!" You squeal in excitement, then place kisses all over his face.

As Han leaves to get ready for the date, you get back to your seat and can barely do your make-up anymore, you're too excited and at the same time, nervous.

You forgot what you're about to do with your face so you pick up your brush and mindlessly brush some powder onto your forehead and chin.

"I'm excited for you!" Gwen says, sounding more excited than you are.

"Me too," you say with a breathless chuckle.

You put down your brush and pick up a tube of mascara next, your hand is slightly shaking for you to apply it to your lashes.

It's not like you never got on a date before so you don't get why you're so jittery.

-

YOU: Why am I so nervous? We almost had sex once for God's sake!

-

Han regrets acknowledging your beauty a little late.

He can see it now, how radiant you are as you descend down the steps that lead to the beach, looking so stunning in that bright blue dress.

He offers his hand to help you walk down the last three steps and clasps your hand with his.

"I don't want to be an asshole but your tits look great in that dress," he compliments with a naughty smirk.

He knows you're going to laugh from the way you scrunch your nose and there it is, the sound of your laugh that has become one of his favorite sounds in the world.

"I must say your tits look great in that shirt," you compliment back.

A boat is waiting to take both of you, taking you on a trip around the island with the sun slowly yet surely setting for the day.

There are cocktails and a basket of food provided on the back of the boat. You both take a seat facing each other and decide to make a toast to start the date.

"I've never had a date on a boat before," you suddenly share.

It never ceases to amaze him how he keeps sharing common things with you, "Me too."

He takes another sip before adding, "We both won't forget about it then," he says.

You lift your glass, initiating another toast with him, "Cheers to that!"

He's not sure how many percent of alcohol is in that cocktail but he really needs it to gain a little courage to ask the one question that's been bothering him all day and night.

-

HAN: I have to pull it off. I HAVE TO!

-

Well, there's one way to prepare him for the big question. He knows how to ease both the tension and you, well, it's actually just things that he knows are true about you.

"Do you know that you scrunch your nose before you smile? Or laugh?" He asks.

You finish chewing the grape to answer him, "I think, yeah..." you doubtfully answer.

Han also picks a grape and pops it into his mouth, he wants to take his time, doing it right.

"And you also purr like a kitten when you sleep," he adds.

You let out a nervous chuckle, "Is that a compliment?"

He's not sure about that one but he wants to show you that he knows the little details about you. He knows more than just those two, he can list them for you but he's afraid it'll take the whole day.

"It is a compliment," he says with a grin.

He rolls a grape between his fingers, just something to fiddle with because of how nervous he is

"You have to give me a compliment too," he demands.

You stop chewing and lick your lips, "Well, uhm... I like the way you sit with your legs looking like those anime girls," you say, copying the way he sits then break into laughter.

In his defense, he unknowingly sits like that. He laughs it off then says, "You find everything attractive about me."

"That's because you're one big attraction, baby," you immediately respond.

It's a rare occasion that you let your thoughts unfiltered with him and that's good, that means you're comfortable around him.

He seems to like what he heard from the way he's brightly smiling with the soft sunset reflected in his eyes.

"I like that we're not taking things seriously, we do silly things together and I think that's cute," he shares.

You nod and understand that really well, it has not yet sunk in that you found someone like him here of all places.

"It doesn't hit me yet, you know, that I met someone like you," you tell him with a smile.

Then you get hit by a wave of sadness that it's going to end soon and you fear that things are going to change between you.

"All I know is... it's going to be weird not waking up next to you and spending all of our time together," you sadly tell him.

It seems like he reads your mind, he snatches the words you're about to say to him right out of your mouth.

"I'm glad I got to know you," he says with glints in his eyes.

You softly smile at him, "Me too."

But you don't want to keep hanging everything on maybe, you want to know if this can continue outside the retreat. You take a sip of your drink, then take a deep breath after, "It's been so good for us," you say.

You take another sip of your fruity, alcoholic drink to continue talking, "And I'm thinking... what's next?"

You don't want to pressure him, of course, and you don't want to have seemed demanding as well but it has to be made clear.

You look at him with eyes that seek an answer from him, "I'm just hoping that nothing bad happens."

-

YOU: I fall in deep and I don't know whether Han feels the same.

-

Han knows that he's in the trenches when you ask what's next?

The answer to it is at the tip of his tongue but he can't muster up the courage to spit it out. His past experience haunts him, reminding him of the chance that this could hurt him too, even worse than before.

"Obviously, I came bere not expecting to meet someone like you," you say with a smile.

That smile makes him nervous, thinking that he'll never be able to see it again once he popped the question.

You fix your hair from being blown by the wind and tuck it behind your ear. Such a mundane thing but he likes it whenever you do it.

"But I don't want to waste my time anymore, you know," you say.

And he gets nervous again.

"What about you?"

Such a simple question but it takes everything in him to answer that question. He looks back at his past relationship and he realizes that he shouldn't compare it to what you and him have.

And it's you, you're different and you make him happy. Why should he stop seeing someone who makes him happy?

Before he can tell you that, he feels the need to tell you why he hesitates so much and that it has nothing to do with you.

"Ever since my last relationship, I struggled with commitment, attachment... and I don't bother trying knowing it could lead to disappointment," he shares.

You intently listen to him, look him in the eyes, and take every word he says with an open mind.

"I often find myself thinking why put somebody through something that could potentially hurt them?"

You nod in understanding, "Yeah."

"My problem is I fear heartbreak," he confesses.

 It's one thing to share a piece of his past with you but letting you know his fear... he's basically handing you the power over him.

Despite the things he shared with you, you tip your head to the side and adorably scrunch your nose at him.

"How about now?" You ask.

A wind blows, sending your hair caught between your lips and you take a moment to put all of your hair away, "Are you ready to commit?"

Han doesn't see heartbreak, he sees happiness in you so he nods.

-

HAN: I've got a funny feeling... I'm overthinking the situation, but I know it's the right time.

-

You have never seen him like this, so terribly quiet and still. You place your hand on his and crack a low laugh, "Why are you nervous?"

Han always knows how to lighten up the moment or make fun of something, it seems like he has lost that skill at the moment.

Then he stares deeply into your eyes with a tense and serious expression on his face.

"There's a question I've been wanting to ask you," he says.

Maybe it's your turn to ease the tension, you bat your eyelashes at him and cutely ask, "Oh, really?"

You can see that he's still nervous, his Adam's apple is bobbing in his throat from swallowing air.

"Uhm... this whole experience has been enjoyable because of you. You're lovely, you're beautiful inside and out..."

There are a lot of compliments in one sentence and ignoring the anxiety tinted his words, you coo in response.

He gulps air again then asks, "How'd you feel about being my girlfriend?"

Not that he can't act this gentlemanly but it takes you by surprise, it feels like he's pulling a joke on you. Maybe it is?

"You're joking..." you say with a dry laugh.

"I'm being serious!" He says with so much urgency.

You just need to ask one more time to be sure, "You're really asking me to be your girlfriend?"

He aggressively nods, "Yeah."

Han sees that you're still doubting him, he tries again but more candidly, "Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

Can't tell if it's the wind or that you're deeply touched by this heartfelt moment, you feel tears in the corner of your eyes. You gently dab it with the pad of your fingers to not ruin your make-up.

"Oh, my god," you breathlessly gasp.

You look at him and he's still waiting for your answer in anticipation, you nod, then say, "Yes."

This is the weirdest thing ever but most endearingly. You feel warm and ecstatic but the two of you just sit there, looking at each other, laughing.

You almost forget about it until they chime, you turn your wrist to see that it's indeed green.

Han notices it too, he then gets up and takes your hand, he pulls you close to lean in, kissing you with so much love.

Your heart is shaking and the content is pouring out of it yet it never empties. Your heart is overflowing with warm feelings.

And his lips are just as warm, as welcoming as his embrace.

When he pulls away, he delightfully sighs.

"Fuck yeah, I finally have a girlfriend!" He mutters against your lips before planting another kiss.

-

YOU: My God! I can't stop smiling it's so stupid [gleefully smiles]

-

Other than you, Lana is also sending Rio and Mikaela on a date but you're the first one to come back. You find everyone is getting ready for the last party in the retreat tonight.

"Oh, they're back from the date!" Avery delightfully gasps at the sight of you walking into the room while holding hands with Han.

"Oh, my God! How was the date?" Gwen asks, propping both hands under her head.

Nya puts down her eyebrow pencil and glances at you, "Tell us all about it!" She demands.

You sit down on your chair first before speaking and Han takes the seat next to you, "We got on a boat and we had pretty cocktails, it was gorgeous," you tell them.

Asher walks into the room to plop onto the small sofa in the corner of the room, "Oh, I'm so jealous!" He says in a sincere tone.

"Then it got pretty serious, don't you think?" Han asks you.

"Yeah, it was," you say with a small nod.

You don't know how to tell them without making it like a cringe moment, you feel silly but also excited to share it with them.

"This guy asked me a funny question at the end," you say with a cryptic smile.

Everyone shifts their attention to Han and they wait for one of you to continue the words. You look at Han and decide to break the news.

"He asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend," you tell them.

There's a collective gasp and Avery's jaws are hanging open, so invested in your storytelling.

"What did you say?" Nya asks you.

You wait for a moment to tease them, building the anticipation in the room. Then again, good news should be shared.

"I said yes," you finally answer.

The next thing you know, everyone is coming at you and congratulating you with a group hug. You look at Han and he's being smothered by Asher's hug.

"I'm so happy for you," Avery says, sounding like she's in tears as she's hugging you from the back.

After everyone takes their turn to congratulate both of you, you and Han exchange a long hug, feeling overwhelmed with happiness.

"You two are so cute!" Gwen comments.

You turn around to face her and Han holds you from the back, "No, but I've been wanting to tell him how much I like him and obviously, I've been keeping it to myself because I was afraid he didn't feel the same way," you honestly share.

You remember just feeling so smitten, falling in deeper but you can't say anything about it because the fear of being rejected or the possibility that your feelings are not being reciprocated is bigger than what your heart can contain.

"This is like... the cutest thing ever!" Avery says with an exciting squeal.

"We also got a green light earlier," Han shares.

"Has a few snogs, eh?" Fabian says, joining in late into the celebration.

"Definitely!" Han shamelessly shares.

-

YOU: Things couldn't be more perfect. I'm the happiest I've ever been [smiles]

-

Everyone is wearing white to match the theme of the party.

You look so gorgeous in that white, skin-tight dress he can't help but ogle as you lean close to the mirror on the bathroom sink, fixing your hair with your back slightly arched.

"Fuck..." Han says with so much frustration in his voice.

You glance away from the mirror to look at him, "What?"

"Stop looking so hot!" He holds you from the back, then playfully bites at your bare shoulder.

It seems like you are already immune to this, you're not bothered to scold but continue fixing your hair and secure it with hairpins.

Han looks at your reflection in the mirror and he can't believe that you're his girlfriend, it feels like a reality check but it's as good as his imagination.

How the fuck you said yes to being his girlfriend? He doesn't know but he's happy, he's over the moon.

"Do you like it?" You ask.

He knows you're asking about either your hair or your make-up or the whole look but everything looks good on you.

"Yes," he answers, tightening his hold around you.

You rest your head against his shoulder and also look at both of your reflections in the mirror, "You look so sexy with your hair pushed back," you compliment.

He presses a kiss on your temple, "yeah?"

You slightly turn your head to look at him, "Mmh, yeah."

This proximity is dangerous and your lips are only inches away from him, they're coated with red lipstick, making them look luscious, inviting him to kiss.

"Kiss?" He asks even though he knows you wouldn't risk money on the last night in the retreat.

Yet you puckering your lips at him, teasing him and he does the same, leaning in close until you dodge away.

"It would be funny though to lose money on the last night in the retreat," he says with a playful grin.

It seems like Lana is letting everyone off for the day and not interrupting the party as usual. It's a little suspicious but Han wants to spend the rest of his time in the retreat not caring about anything but enjoying the moment.

Rio comes through to give him a pat on the back, "Heard you got a girlfriend now," he teases him.

It hasn't registered to him yet that he has a girlfriend now, he stifled a nod, "Hell yeah, I am!"

They exchange a side hug and have a toast with their drinks. Rio seems happy so he assumes the date went really well and he wonders if he took things further with Mikaela.

"I can say the same thing to you, right?" He says to him with a sly smile.

Rio licks his lips after taking a sip of his drink, "I dropped the L bomb, bro, it was nerve-wracking," he says, wiping his moist forehead.

"Wow, that's..." Han can't find a word to say to that.

"That's a big deal!" He finally continues.

"Yeah," Rio says, taking another gulp with a smile on his face.

Looking back at it, he can see that everyone is going on their own journey, something has changed about them in the best way possible.

Han can see the change in himself too.

He came as someone with a closed heart. He thought that he couldn't love again and he would rather be on his own for the rest of his life.

But now, he's ready to leave the retreat as an open person and ready to love again.

-

HAN: I've been bottling things up and I feel like the retreat helps me get back, it's almost like a fresh start. Also, I'm leaving with a girlfriend [smiles]

-

Seeing him already tucked in the bed, you can't help but jump and startle him as he lies with his eyes closed.

Han draws you closer, planting his nose in your hair then kisses the top of your head, "I'm so tired."

You hum with your head resting on his chest, "Me too."

His hand is softly rubbing your back, putting you at ease and making you feel safe in his hold. Remembering that it's going to be the last night in the retreat, you suddenly feel melancholic.

You're going to miss this, not caring about anything else but making deeper connections with each other. You lift your head and plant your chin to look at him, "This will be the last time we share a bed," you sadly tell him.

With eyes still closed, he shakes his head, "We'll still share a bed after this," he says.

Han opens his eyes just to wink at you and you chuckle at that.

"I mean, in this retreat," you correct yourself.

You slip your hand in his hair and play with it as you look at him, "Honestly, I didn’t expect this.

He rests his hand on your waist, "Expect what?"

"That we'll be together," you reply with giggles.

Now that the retreat is almost over, you can't help but recall a few moments from the time you've spent in this retreat.

"Be honest, you didn't even think you'd fall for me, did you?" You press him with a question.

Han looks too embarrassed to admit it, he laughs it off because he knows you're right

"You wouldn't fall for me either, right?" He turns the table back at you.

You lean in and kiss him on the cheek, "That's because you're so cute," you tell him with another kiss on his other cheek.

"Also, you weren't easy to win over," he adds as he gently squeezes the flesh on your waist.

You nod, admitting that you were indeed so hard to open up to him. You have to give him props for that so you give him a long kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you for being so patient with me," you sincerely thank him.

He proudly smiles and looks at you, "Kiss me then," he sweetly asks with a pout.

"You're cute," you tell him.

You lean into the side of his head to whisper, "But not that cute."

Without warning, he catches you with both arms and pulls you close, not letting you get away from him.

And you're not planning to get away from him.

-

YOU: When I came here, I was very closed and I didn't want to let anyone in but I feel like Han has helped me with it, I let my guard down and let him in which I'm proud I did.

-

Lana chimes the moment the lights are on in the morning.

It's like you're used to getting anxious at the sound of it, your body turns rigid even though you've just woken up.

"Good morning, everyone!" She greets.

You clutch the duvet close to your chest and rub the sleep off your eyes, "Morning, Lana!"

"Welcome to the last day of the retreat!"

It feels real now that Lana said it, you finally come to the last day of the retreat and it's so bittersweet, it's almost like graduation day. Well, talking about graduating from a sexless retreat, that's an achievement!

You see that everyone is feeling sentimental as well with the way some of them are replying with sad groans.

"I will be announcing who the finalists are shortly," Lana informs.

And you almost forgot about the prize money.

Well, you gained a lot of things such as emotional growth, friendship, and love, and those things can't be valued in money so in the end, everyone wins something out of this retreat.

Everyone seems to think the same way, they're mostly focused on making the last day count.

"It's the last day!" Finn emphasizes it for everyone.

"Let's make it count!" Avery says to everyone with a cheery smile.

Everyone starts their day with positive energy and soaking up everything before their time in the retreat ends. You did your daily routine of swimming at the beach and getting ready for the day with the girls in the dressing room.

Lana wants everyone to the cabana later in the afternoon and then you catch a few chats about who's going to win the money.

To be honest, you have no idea because everyone is going through their own journey so you can't really judge.

You decide to spend the remaining time in the retreat by cuddling in the hammock with Han, just enjoying a peaceful moment together in comfortable silence.

However, you can't help but ask him, "Who do you think is going to win?"

He squints from the bright sun, "It could be anyone," he answers.

"Yeah."

"I don't really care about the money," he remarks, his fingers lightly pinching at your arm.

"Yep, me too," you agree with him on this.

He turns his head to look at you, "I got the most beautiful girl in here," he says with his flirty wink of his.

"You meant to say that to Avery," you tell him with a gentle slap on his chest.

"No," he quickly denies.

He holds your face and looks into your eyes, "I win the biggest prize of all."

He pretends to groan in disgust after saying that, aware of how corny it is.

"Cringe!" You say but with a foolish smile on your face.

"I know you like it," he says, pulling your head close to his neck.

And you stay like that with him, taking in the view while in each other's embrace.

-

YOU: I learned a lot in this retreat so I wouldn't feel sad leaving without the money [smiles]

-

It's finally time.

Everyone's curiosity is about to be answered soon because Lana is going to announce the finalists soon. Han tries not to think about the money and indeed, the possibility that he can win it is slim but hey, he wouldn't say no to receive that much money.

The melodic chime finally comes and he can feel his tummy churning in anxiety.

"Definitely not going to miss hearing that," Fabian says with a repulsed expression.

"Hello, everyone," Lana begins.

"Hi, Lana!" You reply as you sit up straight next to him.

"I've been collecting data since you arrived and have now conducted my final analysis."

He tries not to be so nervous but it feels as if he's not in control of his body anymore, he's unknowingly balling his hands into fists on his lap.

"As you are aware, there was a prize fund of $200,000 allocated to aid your development. The prize fund now stands at $100,000."

"That's a lot of money, isn't it?" Asher says, looking at the brighter side of things even though everyone has lost half of the initial prize money.

Han doesn't want to entertain the idea of winning the money but also, but the possibility is there, it's wide open. Not trying to lie but that much money is life-changing.

"There are three places in the final," Lana informs.

Everyone coos in wonder, heads are turning to silently guess who would make the list.

"Following my rules alone isn't enough to win. The finalists are those who have shown the most personal growth during their time at the retreat."

That only confirms his assumption that it's not only about couple growth, therefore, his chance to win is bigger.

"The first finalist is... Rio."

Rio gets up from the sofa as everyone claps in joy for him.

Han couldn't be happier to hear that his close friend is one of the finalists and that means he has changed into a better version of himself.

It's getting tense once again as Lana is about to announce the next finalist.

"The second finalist is... Asher."

This one is kind of unexpected and he doesn't mean it in a bad way. Asher has grown so much personally but he's mostly proud because Lana acknowledged the changes in him.

"The third and final finalist is... "

Han is losing hope but that doesn't mean he's not happy about it. He's happy whether he wins or not, he reminds himself of that by looking at you softly smiling at him.

Then, Lana calls both of your names.

He shoots up from his seat, "What?"

"You guys deserve it!" Portia says as she hugs you.

And Han is getting a hug from Fabian, confirming that Lana did call his name and yours.

-

HAN: I did not see this coming [lightly shakes head]

-

"Please stand!" Lana orders.

Han helps you get up from the sofa and holds you close by his side. You're wiping the corner of your eyes when he looks at you.

"I'm emotional already," you say with a quivering voice.

You look the most beautiful when you're vulnerable like this so he hugs you with both of his arms around you.

"Your relationship has helped you both grow equally as individuals," Lana says.

You both are listening to Lana listing the reasons why you got chosen to be one of the finalists as a couple.

"You both came in as horny singles and began your journey as friends. Despite having commitment issues, you slowly built a connection and have learned to commit and formed a loving relationship."

He looks at you and can see the journey you both went through to get to this point, he couldn't be proud that he has made all of these decisions that led him to this, to you.

"And that is why I have chosen you to be in the final as a couple," Lana concludes.

Everyone is cheering and clapping for all the finalists.

"One of the three finalists will walk away with $100,000 and the decision will be made by the remaining guests."

At the end of the day, it's up to the group to choose who wins the prize money. Of course, Lana is the one with power but everyone knows each other personally and therefore, they know which one has made the biggest improvements.

"Will the shortlisted guests please the cabana whilst the voting takes place," Lana instructed.

-

HAN: We never thought we'd get this far, did we?

YOU: Not at all.

-

The finalists are being gathered in the front yard.

Rio and Asher are taking seats on the bean bags so the two of you can take the small sofa to sit together.

"I can't believe we're here," Rio says, still in disbelief.

Asher brushes his long hair to the back, "I'm happy to just be here with you guys," he says with a gruff voice.

Han looks speechless as well, he hasn't said anything since Lana announced both of your names as the last finalist.

"It's... mad!" He finally says something, rather sounds still in disbelief as well.

You look at them and feel grateful already that you're surrounded by nice people.

"How do you feel?" Asher asks, curious as to why you stay quiet.

"I feel like a winner already to be honest," you reply.

After almost half an hour of waiting under the sun that is slowly sinking into the horizon, the cone lights up and chimes.

You get used to getting nervous whenever you hear it but this time, you unconsciously grip at Han's forearm.

"Hello, finalists," Lana greets.

"Yes, darling?" Rio answers her.

"Your fellow guests have voted and a winner has been decided," Lana informs.

The tension is rising once again and Han turns to be the nervous one, grabbing your hand and squeezing at it.

"Please join everyone on the beach where I will announce who has won the $100,000."

Asher is the first one to get up from his seat, flipping his hair to the side as he says, "Okay guys, let's go!"

As you both make your way to the beach, Han leans into your ear and whispers, "My palms are sweaty. I'm shaking," his voice is tinted with anxiety.

You smile at him and say, "I know."

-

HAN: I'm grateful for how this retreat has changed me and our relationship.

YOU: [Nods] Fingers crossed!

HAN: [Crosses fingers]

-

Everyone else is already waiting by the beach for the last hurrah with the sun setting behind them, casting a warm glow on their faces.

Han knows he shouldn't be stressing much about this. Winning the money isn't that important, it's what he takes from this retreat that is the most important.

He takes a seat on the long wooden bench with you and waits for Lana to come online.

After a while, that anxiety-inducing chime comes and the cone starts talking.

"During your time at the retreat, I have observed you all commit to the process and show significant changes."

Everyone nods in agreement and cheers to that with a proud face.

"The time has now come to announce the winner of the $100,000 prize money," Lana says.

She then calls all the names of the finalists, including him and yours.

"Finalists, please stand!" Lana instructs.

Rio and Asher are standing up while Han keeps on pulling you close to his side even though there's no space left between your bodies.

"Your fellow guests have voted and the person in third place is..."

It's getting to him now that you and him potentially going to win that money and it's a lot of money. He gets overwhelmed thinking of it.

"Asher."

His head turns to the left where Asher stands, applauding himself for what he has achieved in here and you both doing the same for him, congratulating him for it.

"I love you guys," Asher says in the most nonchalant yet cool way.

The tension returns as Lana continues with the announcement, calling the names of the finalists again and making him feel faint.

"One of you has been chosen to walk out of the retreat with the prize fund..." Lana reminds.

The money, well, the money, obviously would help with this new relationship. Then again, it's not about the money.

-

HAN: No matter what happens, I feel like I'm a better person after meeting her and yeah, I'm actually proud of myself and I don't often say that about myself.

YOU: [Looks at Han] I'm proud of you.

HAN: [Smiles] I'm proud of you.

-

"The winner who will be leaving with $100,000 is..."

His heart feels like it's about to explode, he can't contain this much anxiety and excitement and love and fondness, everything is mixed inside his chest.

And it explodes as Lana announces him and you as the winner.

"Oh, my god!" You shriek, covering your gaping mouth with your hands.

Everyone is running at him, throwing themselves at him while the girls are coming at you to give you a hug.

"I wanted it to be you guys so congrats!" Avery says as she hugs him.

But seeing you keep wiping your eyes as they're glassy with tears, Han feels the urge to comfort you. He comes to you, holding you tight because this moment belongs to you and him, the two of you did this.

-

HAN: Can you believe it?

YOU: Honestly, no.

HAN: We went from nothing to friends and now... [Looks at you]

YOU: [Giggles] Now... what?

HAN: ... [Shyly laughs] [Hugs you]

-

"Your time at the retreat is over and therefore the rules no longer apply," Lana announces for the last time.

Everyone is cheering in triumph but he feels good knowing that he can touch you, kiss you, and do anything he pleases to you now.

But for now, he can settle with a long, lingering kiss that quench his thirst.

"I'm not wearing underwear," you playfully tell him.

His hand goes down your rear and feels you through the dress you're wearing, his eyes widen even though he finds out that you're lying

"We can definitely have a quickie if you want," you jokingly say.

Feeling tricked, he aggressively kisses you as a way to get back at you and lifts you before spinning you around as his body is filled with euphoria.

The celebration continues with more congratulations passed around at each other and the champagne bottle is popped open.

Asher comes to you and sincerely congratulates you with a warm hug, "I'm happy for both of you," he says.

He then looks at Han and says, "Han, I'm going to steal your girlfriend!"

Before Han can say anything, Asher hoists you onto his shoulder and takes you running with him to the beach, then he puts you down in the water.

Soon everyone joins in with you, continuing the party soaked in salt water. You eventually find Han and immediately locked in a loving kiss.

You both face the sunset, looking at it and feeling so hopeful for what the future holds for both of you.

-

HAN: No more rules!

YOU: [Whispers to Han] How about we continue that night?

HAN: Ah... [Smirks]

YOU: [Giggles]

HAN: [Looks at the camera] Now will you excuse us because we have business to finish!

-

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[sehodreams]

Forgiving others is easy, forgiving yourself not that much

Summary: Anton tried to take care of you in an unconventional way, putting you first into a helpless position. However, what he should've expected is for you to realize his intentions and to ruin his plans, but did you really ruin them at the end?

TW and tags: porn with plot (?), kind of dubcon (he tried to get her drunk but ends being the drunk one), all consentual at the end, pinning (from Anton), mentions of bullying at work place, grinding, oral sex (f receiving), p in v, no protection, tries of forced drinking, jealous Anton, kind of stalker!Anton, dark-ish, don't know how to decribe.

WC: 5.1k

Comment: to be honest I tried to write a porn without plot but it came out kind of weird, it changed so much while I wrote it I don't know what the hell happened in the process, but it's still most porn than story. I haven't posted anything lately because I write and delete them, but i finished this one so let's be happy I didn't toss it aside. Kind of dark so if you don't like this kind of content PLEASE JUST DON'T READ.

"Please, let me see your boobs, please" he was asking but he couldn't even wait for you to answer before his hand played with the fabric of your blouse trying to take it out of your tight skirt, you thought about just letting him have what he wanted, but did he deserve it? Not really.

He had tried to get you drunk at the dinner you had moments ago and had ended being the drunk one, so pathetic you couldn't help but dryly laugh out of second-hand embarrassment.

It was a team dinner so you couldn't reject the invitation, and the way he kept pouring and pouring shots of alcohol and passed them to you was suspicious, so you kept accepting them in front of everyone but tossing them to the plant next to you at the end of the table when he didn't stare at you with those wide expectant eyes. To everyone it looked like a cute hoobae trying to humor his superior, you were in charge of him because no one else wanted the heavy task of teaching the intern, and he reminded you of your first days there, inexperienced and scared, so you accepted him with grace and treated him with the care and a patience you wished you had received when you started.

At first you found it difficult to guide someone, you were used to always being alone, even with difficult tasks, but he made it bearable, always accepting advice from you, never questioning your decisions, and following your steps like a new born baby duck, and you found kind of endearing how he always made sure to stay and say thank you at the end of the day doesn’t matter how hard it was. Still, you couldn't deny how at the same time you always perceived a weird vibe from him, your eyes met his when you felt observed and he somehow knew when you needed something, if you were craving something sweet he miraculously bought extra dessert, if you murmured around how you wanted a coffee he would appear with your cup in seconds and if in the middle of a call you wanted to write something down he would gladly give you a page of his work at hand. He sometimes frightened you, but not in a bad way, so you tried to think he was just a young boy doing his best, however now that you confirmed he was human trash, you were disappointed in how you had wasted so much of your time into someone like him.

It was so sad, he was a sweet young boy just starting his first corporate job and he had so much potential, he always listened to you and offered his help with whatever you were doing, yes he was a bit awkward and shy, sometimes not daring to look directly at you in the eyes when you talked to him or stuttering when you surprised him with a question, but he still seemed honest and like a good kid, so you never expected him to try such a dirty move like that one, trying to get a girl drunk to do god knows what to her? You never punished him when he made a mistake at work, but right now you weren't at work, and he completely deserved it.

"Why should I?" You asked, slapping his hand away from you.

His cheeks were flushed and he was slurring his words, not even addressing you properly like his senior, forgetting the formalities and his usual self, he maintained eye contact as much as he could, trying to defy you for denying his wish. He did it until he realized you wouldn't break down under his gaze, even if he was bigger and stronger, you weren't scared of him at all, he could easily hurt you with his hands, he could push you to the floor right there in his apartment entrance and take you how he wanted, but you knew he wouldn't, how could the boy that always treated you like a goddess suddenly treat you like a mere mortal being? In the office he would follow you and take anything you had on your hands, like stacks of papers, boxes or even insignificant stuff like coffee cups, saying how he should carry them instead, if you said you were thirsty he would run to get a cold bottle of water from the vending machine, and when you tried to pay him back he would never accept it, "how could I? sunbaenim, I already owe you so much", he served you to the point you were sure that if you asked him, he would drop to his knees and pray your name every morning before work.

Perhaps that's why even when he tried to do such a sick thing, something so despicable that should definitely scare you away enough to not talk to him ever again, much deserving of a report to headquarters, after all the memories of you two together ran through your mind, you were there with him, in his house, letting him talk to you as if you were equals after helping him arrive safely to his house.

After some time his eyes went to the floor, he was moving from side to side, too intoxicated to keep his position, and when he almost tripped over his own feet, you grabbed his hands with yours, helping him stay still, pulling him slightly closer to you.

You can't deny that for a moment you were hesitant, even if he didn't, the possibility of him forcing himself on you was there, you thought a lot about it when you called the cab to his house after almost everyone had left when you went to the bathroom. You don't know if they tried to take him too and leave you alone in the restaurant, it wouldn't be the first time, but he had stayed to wait for you and take care of the bill with your boss credit card, only smiling at your direction when you asked him where everyone was, "don't know, but I'm here for you".

You could've left him in the cab and go home, all your instincts screamed to do that, that he was dangerous, he had obviously tried to put you in disadvantage to get something from you, the quantity of alcohol he had tried to force on you was almost unhealthy, and he did everything with his innocent face, fooling everyone except you.

However, the worst part was that he had been so obvious with his intentions you knew deep down that he had never done something like that before, you just had to look at his reddish cheeks and his dumb grin, his hand holding yours and stopping you from leaving him alone in the cab, to move that soft spot you had for him after taking him under your wing all those weeks.

You don't know why you wanted to go with him, even with that thrilled sensation of him maybe hurting you, you wanted to go, your mind too curious of what would happen for your body to listen any coherent thought about leaving.

"Sunbaenim, come with me, I'll take you home" he said not even looking at you, eyes closed and his hand holding tight yours. The driver looked behind for a second, if the roles were reversed, you were sure he'd have called the cops the minute you hoped in, but when he saw you, a soft girl with a serious expression looking out for her intoxicated coworker, he didn't care anymore.

"Please make sure he doesn't throw up inside" was the only thing he said and then drove in complete silence until you arrived to his building. When you paid the driver didn't look at you twice before he left you behind with the tall boy hugging your side and smelling your hair, you saw the yellow color of the cab far away and thought one last time to leave him and go home, but he was so happy next to you, giggling whenever your eyes met his, that you decided to see what were his intentions. After all, they said drunk people and kids never lied.

"Tell me the truth, what did you plan to do to me? And don't you dare lie Lee Chanyoung" you looked up to him, finding his eyes under the limp lights of his place. The shadow of the light above him made his face darker, his fingers played with yours and before he could talk, he stumbled over one of the numerous pairs of shoes on the floor, pushing you to the wall behind you with his whole body but not letting the impact affect you, quickly putting a hand behind your head and the other on your waist.

Almost embracing you, he stayed there, and closing his eyes, his nose breathed in the aroma of your hair again, "I-I wanted... I just wanted to take care of you, I wasn't gonna do anything, I just wanted you to depend on me once" he confessed in a whisper, but you couldn't believe him, just take care of you? How could he even try to put you in such helpless position? What if his or anyone else’s intentions were different? He couldn't even stop himself now, pressing your body with his and taking in all the sensations he could steal from you without taking off your clothes.

You tried to push him away but he was too heavy for you, so you only pressed your hands on his shoulders, almost clawing your fingers over the navy knitted cardigan he started to wear after you said it was your favorite color by mistake, "I can't believe you Anton, and why like this? Why couldn't you do it differently? Why would you want to do such a cheap move? You have no idea in what danger you could’ve put me through."

When you said his name some of his senses came back to him, he left a few inches of space between you two and a sad frown appeared on his pretty face, bringing the boy you used to know back, showing how sorry he was for overstepping into your precious space.

"I-I don't know, I just wanted to show you that you also can lean on me, I thought that it was impossible for you to let me get closer, you never let anyone learn more about you, you push everyone away and only talk about work stuff... I know I don't deserve you, but I wanted you, I want you, I want you all for me and I want to be the only one for you, I didn't know what else to do."

His tears started to drop one by one while he talked, his hand searching for you again but not daring to touch you afraid of disgusting you more after showing how wretched he really was.

You made him look into your eyes before he talked again, "It's the first time you do this?" You asked, holding his cheeks and cleaning the tears that slid down.

"Of course it is" he grasped his hands over yours, asking for compassion from you, his eyes almost looked honest, and after you nodded, accepting his words, he went and pressed his forehead in the space of your neck, getting dizzy with the smell of your perfume and all the alcohol that stayed in both of you after your dinner not long ago, "I've never wanted someone this much before... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have tried it, but you're just so high up there, you looked unreachable" his hands moved to your hips, you hugged his neck and let him get wasted with your presence, he used more strength into his grasp and you felt his fingers painfully try to penetrate your clothes and touch your skin, but instead of telling him to stop you opened your legs to receive him, "...and I felt unworthy of you, I know I am, but please, let me show you how useful I could be, how much I can serve you"

You felt his boner under his fitted grey pants, it tried to sink into you under all his layers, but it couldn't even reach you thanks to your skirt limiting his movements.

He didn't wait long thought, this Anton had no patience at all, and he hastily lifted your skirt almost all the way up, his nails scratching your tights and running them instead of carefully taking the nylon fabric off like you usually did.

"I'm sorry" he apologized still on your neck, rutting his member into your now visible black underwear. He caught a glimpse of them, they weren’t your prettiest pair, rather simple and bland, but he still was awed by them and how they covered what he had imagined so many nights before, and soon he was rutting against them again, ‘’I’m so sorry’’, he was ashamed of how much he ached for you.

"It's okay Anton, you don't have to apologize anymore" your fingers hooked on his long hair, strings of it settling under your grip, and trying to calm down the rush he was in, you murmured that sentence softly next to his ear. You could hear his heart beating inside his chest and he gulped loudly after you called his name with so much tenderness.

"I'm sorry" he repeated, feeling so undeserving of the benevolence you were gifting him, you always did so much for him, you weren't afraid of giving him all your knowledge at work, you defended him whenever he made a mistake and others tried to make him feel beneath them, judging his inexperience as a lack of intelligence, you were the most merciful person he had ever met, forgiving even the repugnant intentions he had tonight.

He pressed his lips on your throat, trying to claim possession over you, he was never going to let anyone else take you from him, he had been feeling desperate those days after one of your coworkers had gotten closer to you, he couldn't help but follow you with his eyes whenever you walked around, and recently, if he wasn't next to you, that guy would be on your side, setting off an alarm inside his head.

It was unusual to see anyone other than him treat you with the respect you deserved, Anton didn't understand why almost everyone hated you, but they did. You always did your best and outperformed your tasks, if the boss said he wanted you to finish a report for next week you'd have it ready in three days, if others asked you for a favor you'd immediately accept and leave your own work aside to help them, if an emergency appeared you'd instantly share solutions, you were the best employee and coworker anyone could wish, and they still treated you like a plague, sending you to meaningless errands and giving you the problematic clients.

His leather belt pushed up your blouse, and the buckle hooked with the silky fabric, scraping it and slightly hurting your skin in the process. "Wait- Anton" you tried to stop him from tearing up your favorite blouse but his mind was too hazy to hear you, humping his erection on your panties with his brutal force, you couldn't do anything to stop him.

When you were at work he didn't dare to ask for a single thing from you, not even a glass of water, when you offered to buy his coffee he shyly rejected you, trying to buy you one instead, but now with the little help of the alcohol he showed his true colors, that greedy side that wasn't scared of demanding what he wanted from you and taking it before you could give him permission.

He kept apologizing between thrusts, you felt your panties get wet with your arousal and his tip clumsily striking your clit, although it felt good, you weren't sure how much of it your poor clothes could take, so you decided to do what you had to do for him to cease.

"Anton, can you touch me here?" You asked, moving his hands to your chest and letting him knead your skin under your cups. He eagerly nodded, finally directing his attention to another thing that wasn't the pleasure your cunt gave him.

He didn't waste any time taking your blouse off, he did it with such an urge he didn't care your cuffs were still buttoned and that your hair ended like a mess after he pulled it over your head, his hands searched for the back of your bra and tossed it aside the minute he deciphered how to unhook it.

He admired you for a good minute, your skin reflected the light the two of you were under and when you tried to fix your hair he saw your chest moving in unison with your hands, the creamy flesh called for him to take a bite and he immediately indulged himself on it, so soft under his mouth his eyes almost rolled back and his cock sent an agonizing throb to the pitch of his abdomen, needing to sink into you as soon as he could, he moaned of satisfaction.

You liked the sensation of his mouth and his hands over your buds, but it was obvious not as much as him, he seemed to be desperate to get more of you, his teeth would find your nipples and slightly bite them to then follow with his tongue caressing the same spots, like a soothe after the affliction, pressing the flat of his tongue again and again.

He stayed like that for a long time, admiring your chest with devotion in an uncomfortable position, since you took off your high heels he was even taller now, and his whole upper body was bending to meet your chest. You tried to help him a little and stay on your tip toes but the stir he caused on your insides didn't let you think much about it, only passing your fingers over his hair and closing your eyes to not get lost in the sight of the big, gorgeous boy obsessed with you.

He ran one of his hands from your chest to your mound, and before you could tell him to not go so far, limits unclear between you two in that moment, and your mind repeating how it wasn't okay, he sneaked it inside your underwear and immediately found your clit with his fingers, pressing his wrist with enough delicacy and strength to push your ass to the wall and circle the little nerve at the same time. Still, your mind couldn't stop the thoughts, he was too drunk and you were in charge of him, you as the senior between had to put a stop before the two of you made a mistake, because that's what you were making, an enormous mistake that you wouldn't know how to fix.

You could fix almost everything, you never stopped if an obstacle presented, you handled the worst clients with grace and easily solved emergencies, but you had realized that people weren't as easy as you thought, giving them what they wanted wasn't necessarily always the answer, sometimes you had to give them what they needed it even if they didn't like the result, and right there what Anton needed was a mature adult telling him to stop and to reflect on his actions that day, because what he did was completely wrong, and you shouldn't condone his actions letting him take what he wanted from you without consequences.

This was real life, and the real world wasn’t as forgiving as you.

But fuck it felt good, and you were just human too, to have someone show so much adoration towards you made you weak, because you were used to giving everything of you, and it was the first time you met someone willing to do the same with you.

His mouth left your chest and went up to your neck, leaving marks that would show the next day and you'd have to hide before work with makeup, you were trying to remember if you had your pouch in your bag when his finger slipped inside you, making you whimper of surprise while he chuckled on your neck. He started with just his middle finger, testing how much he could push you. Your slick made everything so easy for him he thought about just putting it in, you were so ready you'd take him without problem and he couldn't wait for you to drip all over his cock, which was throbbing inside his boxers with each thought.

However, there was something he needed even more before he did that, he went to his knees and slid down your panties and the ruined pantyhose, admiring the naked skin of your thighs that slowly showed up in front of him, "please spread your legs" he asked, grabbing your creamy thighs and loving the way your flesh melted under his grip. Your plumpness somehow comforted him, and he gave a small pampering peck to each thigh before he pressed his lips over your tummy, making you open to him and his care, allowing yourself to enjoy his treatment for just a second, like you told yourself in your head, it would be just a second. No one had been so sweet, even if sometimes rough, with you, and you felt yourself falling deeper into his void, too swayed to deny him anything when he spoiled you like that.

He started with slow licks, making out with your clit and pushing your legs open with his hands. Your hips bucked into his face, and with eyes close with force, your palms tried to hold you against the wall, the torture of his tongue lapping your wetness making you tremble in your place.

More than groans, you heard whimpers and moans coming from his mouth, sobering thanks to your juices but not in his right mind still, he had more control over himself, but that only meant he was more conscious of his leaking dick needing you, and how painfully untouched he had been all the time he was next to you, craving for your attention on him and only him.

You pulled his hair with force when his tongue started to poke your entrance and his nose buried in your lips, you couldn't bear with the overwhelming feeling and pushed him away, a bit afraid of hurting him but not able to consider before doing it. He looked up to you, scared of being too much for you, but he couldn't contain himself, he wanted all of you. "That's enough Anton", he shook his head in disagreement, it wasn't even close to satisfy his thirst, and with your hands hurting his scalp he dived in again, with more eagerness and decision, he drank you until you finished pouring everything out, your moans like music to his ears, he wanted to receive anything you had to give him.

When your legs stopped trembling beside his head, he finally stood up again, staring down at your crumbled body, he helped you stay on your feet with a smile. When you looked up to him you saw his shinny face, all the way from the tip of his nose to his chin, and he wasn't ashamed of disgusted with your fluids all over his face, he even seemed elated to have your mess there, making you feel guilty of being so weak against pleasure.

You couldn't believe what just happened, you let him touch you, and you felt disturbed with your lack of willpower to put a stop to what was happening in the youngest's apartment.

"I should go" you thought loudly. He panicked and grabbed your face with both hands just like you had done before when he was spiraling in his drunken state.

"Why? What's wrong?" He asked, caressing your red cheeks and watching your teary eyes, his heart wrenching inside his chest with the idea of having hurt you, he hadn't meant to, he knew he was being greedy, he had tried to do something terrible to you before he came back to his senses, but he was just terrified of losing you, and now it seemed the same thing was about to happen, so close to him and your mind still trying to run away.

"I shouldn't do this Anton, you don't even have a steady position in the company, I'm older, I'm your superior, and what you did was so wrong, but I should be the mature person here and put a stop to it, yet I'm here just accepting you, it's so fucking sick what we're doing" your tears were streaming down and he felt bad for having put you in such a difficult position.

"I'm sorry, I'll always be sorry for what I tried to do today, I don't know what went through my mind, but please don't torment yourself, you didn't do anything wrong, it's all on me, I'm the one who's sick, just be angry with me, I can take it, but what I can't take is you in pain, please forgive me" he started shedding tears too, fat tears escaping his eyes with a concerned expression.

His shoulders were trembling with his sobs and you felt a revolting feeling in your stomach, a nauseous sensation mixed with sorrow and guilt.

"Let's forget this happened Anton, this never happened, okay?" You tried to convince him but he denied, he didn't want to pretend anything, he couldn't lose you like that, having you so close, his dream was no longer to have a good job and a normal life, nothing of that mattered if you weren't by his side, his goal had changed from serving society to serving you, and he couldn't just yield like that. "While I'm here, I'm no longer your superior, I'm no longer your coworker, we're just two people together, two people that are meeting for the first time, okay?"

His world suddenly was illuminated by your grace again, exhilarating in joy, he nodded until his cries stopped, kissing both your hands with adoration, swearing inside his mind to never hurt you like that ever again, and that the only tears he could ever let come from your eyes would be of pleasure and happiness. "Thank you, thank you" he repeated with every kiss on your knuckles and then over the back of both your hands. He had taken a liking to kissing every spot of your body, and he was hoping to soon have you over his bedsheets to adore you even more.

But for now, he picked up where he left, he went to your lips and kissed you with his whole sincerity, crushing your mouth with his. His kiss was breathtaking, making you dizzy but finally relieved of finding an answer to the problem there, even if it had to do with you forgiving him and forgetting what the two of you were outside that apartment, you could take it, because it wasn't what any of you wanted, but what both of you needed.

"Can I put it in?" He asked and you nodded. He, in his euphoria, pulled down his pants and his underwear to let his length free. He was so excited he lifted you with his arms without showing any struggle and then pressed his tip over your entrance, letting your body fall and take him with a single motion.

You tried to get him back in his senses scratching his shoulder blade "Anton-" every thrust of his hips would push the next word back into your throat, and talking between moans it took you a while to say, "I'm too heavy... Put me down", you cried when his pelvis instead of stopping moved harder against you, the clasp of skins echoing around you two and making you the drunk one now.

He denied, "it's okay, I can do it" he continued, you felt your tears dropping and falling over his skin, the intensity of your insides being demolished so easily by the young one left you under his mercy, taking it and hoping you wouldn't get addicted to a pleasure like that one so fast.

He stopped for a second, lifting you even more with his arms, making you bounce and accommodating you against the smooth surface of his wall, strong arms holding both your trembling legs and hard breathing next to your ear, you couldn't hear exactly what he whispered when his cock stayed inside and throbbed, your cries were louder than you expected when he started his pace again and you could only understand something along the lines so gorgeous, but you didn't know if you heard him right or not so you didn't answer, concentrating all your thoughts into holding yourself around his neck to not fall. His shaft punched exactly a spot that made your eyes flutter and you sobbed when he ruthlessly kept striking it, he only needed to hear your first moan to know what he had just found, "feels good?" He asked and kissed your neck. You cried an affirmation in response, a yes so broken he felt proud of himself for making you feel that good, not daring to stop his movements, with the only purpose of comforting you like he had been wishing for so long when the people in the office shoot daggers at you regardless of what you did. If you were good no one would praise you, if you praised others they would say you weren't honest, and he was sure that, if you ever did a mistake, everyone would condemn you, and every time that happened he just wanted to grab your hand and tell you I'm right here, doing whatever he could to help you think about something else while giving you all the praises he wished he could say out loud. "You deserve it, you deserve it all" his lips found yours and feeling your insides tightening around him he messily fucked you with everything he had, making you hop over his length while the back of your thighs slapped his skin. When you were cumming you bit his shoulder and he hissed of pain but continued with his motion and came with much pleasure inside you a couple of thrusts later, gladly letting you hurt him if you needed to, because for him you could do whatever you wanted with his body, and he would always forgive you, just like you forgave him moments ago, teaching him how even an inferior being like him could earn your mercy, so why would such a kind existence not deserve it back? He would praise you and adore you as much as you required, and he'd teach you how to accept him without doubt ever again.

[marleysfinest]

reiner on the brain don't mind me. I blame/thank @whatthefucksatan for the inspo

just clingy reiner x fem reader smut idk how else to put it. not proofread! just horny!

cw extremely vanilla but passionate sex. creampie woop woop, fingering

wc 1k

we all know that reiner is the definition of a devoted husband. he bypasses each and every silly cliché - he's doing the dishwasher without being asked, he's taking out the trash the second it's full, he's bringing you a hot coffee every single morning without fail. but what about when he's been away? what about when you've had to do all of these things (these things that are, really, benign and boring and things that everyone does without giving them a second thought) for a handful of days while he's away with work?

he's torn up every morning thinking about how you're having to get out of bed to make your own coffee and run your own bath in the evenings. it wasn't as if he left on purpose, if he refused to go on this work trip then his job was on the line. you insist over and over that you'll be fine, which you are, but it doesn't stop reiner feeling guilty.

he collides with you the second he walks through the door, throwing his suitcase to the side, sending it clanging against the wall. he's barely closed the door behind him by the time he's hoisting you into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist and nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

"I missed you."

you know that he means it. he claws and grabs at you like you're his lifeline, his air supply. he can't get close enough to you, it's as if he's trying to make up for lost time. every kiss against your neck is a silent apology for nights spent texting your "goodnight" instead of whispering it directly against his lips. you glance into his eyes and simultaneously feel a buzz of excitement and a shiver of anticipation - he looks at you almost like you're prey.

together you stumble to the living room where reiner wastes no time in resting you on the arm of the sofa, removing his jacket and tie and throwing them carelessly to the floor as he moves on to the strings of your sweats, pulling them apart and slipping both hands beneath your waistband. he grabs meaty handfuls of your ass and pulls you against him, making sure you can feel how hard he already is, before pulling your sweats down over your feet. he catches a glimpse of how wet you are through your panties and huffs a quiet but guttural groan. he slipped a hand beneath the thin fabric and pressed himself against your heat, while he undid his belt with the other. he coated his fingers with the slick that had already gathered, managing to restrain himself for a moment longer, never once tearing his eyes from yours. he loved nothing more than the way your brows knitted together when he made you feel good, the way your mouth fell into a gentle "o", and your hips pushed against him ever so slightly. there was a degree of selfishness to it - to know that he was the one making you come undone, but above anything else he just loved seeing you writhe in pleasure.

after toying with you as long as he could bear, he lowers you down onto the couch so you're laying splayed in front of him, but keeping your hips and ass on the arm of the sofa. he hoists your ankles onto his shoulders and folds you over as he slips inside you, stretching your cunt in the way you love nice and slowly.

"god, I missed this pussy."

he nips at your ankles and peppers your legs in light kisses as he tries to resist the temptation, but it's too much. three days was too long. he needs you now. without warning he begins to thrust into you, drinking in the sight of your tits bouncing and the sound of your moaning. you are everything to him when you're like this - helplessly and mindlessly his. your eyelashes flutter as you let yourself be taken by the pleasure, revelling in how he's fucking into you with such force and keeping you folded in half with your knees almost touching your shoulders. your hips would surely soon give way, but you don't care. between the way he's hitting your sweet spot and how he has a grip on your thigh guaranteed to leave a bruise, you feel the familiar knot and build up of your own release.

"gonna cum, baby?"

he knows you so well. he knows every tell, every sign that he's doing something right. the idea that you're about to cum drives him forward to the edge, but he holds off - somehow - until he has you begging for your release. tears trickle from the corner of your eyes as he doesn't relent, and soon you let go and cum on his cock. you pulse around him and can feel your juices drip onto the couch, but he isn't done with you yet.

reiner fucks you through your orgasm until he permits himself to finish, and pumps you full of his release. he falls on top of you as you both pant and return to earth, although apparently, it's not enough for him.

"was that three days' worth?" you ask. he thinks for a moment, before reaching down to your sensitive heat.

"I don't think it was."

using your fluids as lube, he slips two fingers inside.

dividers @/saradika

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Take care of my love

PAIRING | Loki Laufeyson x Avenger!Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 1K

SUMMARY | You have been struggling lately, and the rest of the Avengers are starting to take notice of this. One night, Thor approaches you and catches you off-guard, making you suddenly feel very self-conscious about your arms and legs. Loki happens to be nearby and notices, making sure you're feeling safe as he comes to your rescue.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Mentions of past self-harm, mentions of depression, Thor being an asshole, Loki being a really great friend.

A/N | I’d love to start writing more for Loki, so if you have a request, please let me know! It can be fluff, smut or angst - or a combination! Thanks in advance 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Loki Laufeyson Masterlist

You haven't been in the best headspace lately, and it is starting to show. Not just in the way you dress or look, but in your behavior too. Usually, you don't mind people seeing your scars nowadays, especially the Avengers, but your depression has been catching up with you again. The missions have been getting harder and it is difficult for you to stay focused when you're even going on one to begin with. Where you used to be the light of every room you walk into, now you're feeling like you bring everyone down with you as your mood turns sour very quickly.

You've rarely gotten out of bed these last few days, and your hygiene has been suffering as a result. When Steve calls you in for another mission, you text him to say you can't go, because you're not feeling well but you don't want to talk about it. He accepts but he's worried regardless, he's seen you go down a spiral like this before. Not much later, he's at your door, knocking softly. ''Y/N? Can I come in?'' he says but you send him away. ''Okay, but please take care of yourself, okay?'' he asks and you don't answer, you don't have the strength.

That evening, you have a sudden burst of energy, and decide to take advantage of it by taking a shower and getting yourself cleaned up a little. When you're done it's already close to midnight, so you just put on a pair of sleep shorts and a sports bra, so you can get a snack and something to drink before diving back into your bed. You look at yourself in the mirror and your eyes go over the scars on your arms, legs, and stomach, some from battle, but most from the years of self-harm. Some faded into almost nothing, some still pink from the fact that they're relatively fresh. You haven't done it in almost three months, but the scars don't fade that quickly, and you're well aware.

You finally manage to rip yourself away from the mirror and you walk towards the kitchen, not expecting anyone. When you arrive in the kitchen, however, you're met with a surprise in the form of a certain God of Thunder, as Thor is sitting in the kitchen eating a snack. ''Hey Y/N-'', he says before the rest of the words die in his mouth, and his eyes are grazing over your scars. You want to curl into a ball and cry right about now, because you're extremely uncomfortable at this moment, but you're trying to stay strong. ''What the… I thought you stopped harming yourself,'' Thor says as he walks up to you with big steps, and grabs your arms into his big hands.

''Thor, please let me go,'' you whimper, tears starting to trickle down your face. ''Not before you tell me why-'' he says bluntly, but suddenly you hear a familiar voice behind you. ''Brother, I believe the lady said she wants you to let go,'' Loki says and Thor immediately does, but not before looking at them for a few more seconds. ''I thought you didn't-'' he starts, but Loki doesn't let him finish. ''Stop, she's already in enough distress as is right now. Just go and don't be such a dick next time,'' he says shortly to Thor and he pulls his eyes away from you. ''I'm sorry,'' is all he says before walking out of the kitchen, and you sink into your knees, sobbing uncontrollably at this point.

''Is it okay if I touch you? I just want to hold you in my arms until you calm down, that's all,'' Loki says as he crouches in front of you, and you nod with your face in your hands. He wraps his arms around you softly as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear, calming you down. The two of you stay like that for what feels like forever, and multiple Avengers came to check up on you, but Loki whisked them away without saying a word. He didn't have to, because they all knew he had it under control, he is taking care of you right now.

When your sobs have turned down to soft sniffles, you take your hands away from your face and you look at Loki, who gives you nothing but a look of pure adoration. ''Hi beautiful girl, I'm glad to have you back,'' he says as he softly runs his fingers through your hair. ''Do you want me to bring you to your bedroom?'' he asks and you nod, and he picks you up so your wrap your arms and legs around his shoulders and waist. ''Ah, you're my little koala bear now!'' he softly jokes and you chuckle a little because he's not wrong.

All you can think of is how grateful you are right now. In all honesty, the two of you haven't spoken that many times, but you've always been nice to each other. You never expected him to do this, however, but you'll soak up every second of it while it lasts. He softly strokes your back in circles as he walks you to your bedroom, and he can feel you physically relax in his hold. ''It's okay, beautiful, you're going to be okay,'' he says in your hair and smiles softly. He's glad he can help you like this, and he's honestly happy that he walked by when he did, because he doesn't want to think about what happened if he hadn't.

When the two of you arrived in your bedroom, he softly puts you down on the bed, and as he wants to walk away, you finally say something. ''Thank you, Loki. For saving me,'' you say, and all he says in response is ''Please, don't mention it. I'm just taking care of my love,'' he says before bending over and placing a kiss on your forehead. ''Stay, please,'' you say and he does. He strips down until he's just wearing pants before climbing in the bed with you, as you curl up into his arms, your head against his chest. ''We're going to talk about this later, right now, you need your sleep,'' he says and you agree, slowly falling into a deep sleep in his arms. You've never felt safer in your entire life than you do right now.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Human!Scar x Younger!Fem!Human!Reader || Drabble

Plot: Scar loves to rub your relationship in the rest of the prides faces since he knows it bothers them. He's a Brat, but you love him.

Warnings: Age difference relationship (/people around you disapproving of it) and a lot PDA. Also sexual references.

Tagging: @asperol-with-izzy , @disney-android-foundation , @lady-love88 , @marinerainbow , @ryantryan6969 , and @thecourtofgraywaves .

As soon as you see Scar approaching the rest of the pride, you hop up from where you were resting, dozing, out in the warm sun and quickly meet him a few bounds away from the others- you know he's here for you, he never visits the pride for anything else. Immediately you greet him with a loving kiss to the cheek and a bright smile.

He mutters something intimate in your ear with a smirk while the other lionesses all watch, and you go hot under everyone's judgemental gazes. God damnit, old man, not these antics again!! You flash him a warning glare, but of course he doesn't care. "Scar, just once, can my boyfriend visit me and not make it a spectacle??"

"Oh, my dear, what's the fun in that??"

"Hello, Scar," Sarabi pipes up in a measured, joyless tone from behind you and you turn around to face your queen, out of respect. The rest of the lionesses refuse to even meet his gaze, but Sarabi's known Scar since they were kids- he's her brother-in-law after all- and she's just... classy. And kind. You like her for that, as well as her dry sense of humour, so you certainly done blame her for disliking him. So long as you can act hospitable, not make your distaste anyone's problem, then you can dislike whoever you want on as little grounds as you want, as far as you're concerned.

... the rest of these bitches, though... Your eyes darken a little, giving the gossipy judgy women all a frustrated, disappointed look as they all look mildly irritated just by Scar's presence. And his body stood so 'inappropriately' close to yours. They're just ridiculous.

When Scar's arm slips around your waist and rests there lazily, you give a surprised gasp; neck snapping so you can look at him. Seriously!?? Honestly, yes, you don't care what these old biddies think about you relationship- but m u s t h e make it so hard on Sarabi?? She's trying!

Yes, apparently, he must, says the mischievous lethargic grin on his handsome face. "Sarabi... you look lovely today. My, what a lucky brother I have."

Sarabi rolls her eyes almost all the way up into her skull, while you stand there quite awkwardly. Scar, shut up. "Scar, don't be brutish."

"Simply stating a fact, Sarabi. Anyway... " Scar's gaze falls on your head so close, and the next thing you know he's nuzzling you; making you freeze. You love it, you love Scar's touch, but r I G H T NOW!?? "Going on a hunt today, are you all?... "

"Did Y/N tell you that?" One of the other lionesses cuts in (Snaps); a very sharp tone in her voice that you don't like at all and causes you to glare daggers at her even as Scar completely lacks a responce to it. His arm around your waist does squeeze for a moment though, as if telling to calm down, now, I'm fine dear...

"I did." You respond shortly, instead, but leave it at that; turning fully into Scar now and letting him do whatever he wants. If they cant act cordial, then neither will you. He gives a devious smirk at your actions, and gently catches your chin between his thumb and his curled forefinger. His eyes bore into yours, so impossibly-venomously-prettily green, and as always you lose yourself in them.

"She did, and I'm just here to bid her goodbye for the afternoon~ So if you'll excuse us, thank you."

Instead of walking you away from the group though, despite his excuse, Scar merely removes his attention from them completely and he's all yours. God, he loves doing this, being intimate where the rest of the pride can see what he's doing. What he does to you. Every time he seems to take it a step further, too; getting more and more shameless in his old age as you've told him before.

Oh? 'Old'?? He'd asked, a look of mock offence on his face.

... practically ancient, you'd told him back; digging your hole in even deeper and smirking about it. Then he'd approached you, or prowled towards you more like, with that predatory look on his devastatingly striking face, raised your chin up, rubbed the tip of his nose roughly against yours, and then kissed you. Then you did some things that the ladies here would definitely drop their jaws over.

With the memory lingering in your mind, you give a quiet sigh; lowering your voice so only Scar can hear. "... you're here to say goodbye, huh?" You ask quietly, holding onto the sides of his clothing.

"Well, that's true. I am."

"Oh, you are a gentile suitor, huh?" You tease, sarcasm gently filling your whisper-voice even as Scar cups your face now; brushing his thumbs methodically across your cheeks and making you feel weak. With all this happening, you almost forget you're being watched by almost the entire pride sans Mufasa. "When'd that happen?"

"I assure you, my dear,.. " He comes in close to your face, so close your noses almost touch. "I'm still a rogue." He growls, then swoops in the rest of the way and presses a hot kiss to your mouth; making you feel a bit, embarrassingly, weak in the knees. Its a deep kiss, but not obscenely long in duration before he's pulling away, letting you go and strolling off. "Goodbye, have a good hunt."

You're left Kissed, warm all over and alone in front of the lionesses- the realisation that they were there that entire time crashing back over you all of a sudden. You give them an awkward smile and a waive, before returning swiftly to your spot among them and ducking your head down; pleased and embarrassed at once. Oh lord. Damnit Scar.

[eggtartz]

Hi! Can I request Draken, Haitani brothers, Hanma and Taiju like they're at a festival (or something like that) with 5"0 s/o and they just lose them? Thank you ♥

a/n : im screaming because im 5"2 so this is very self indulged 🧍

masterlist

draken (canon height 6"1)

he has planned to bring you to the mall for the weekends. what he failed to notice was how crowded the mall would be and how easy it was to lost you. the moment he has let your small figure go from his sight, he instantly lost you. you being short isn't helping either so with an advantage of him having heights more than everyone, he used it to find you incase something bad happens. although he isn't going to let that happen either way. "y/n! hell baby where did you go?!" he cupped your face while you stared at him. "ath the claw macshine!" you cheerfully replied while gesturing at the claw machine nearby, draken sighed and hugged you tight. "okay hold my hand okay? i can't lose you here"

rindou (canon height 5"8)

walking at the streets at roppongi was always difficult as every night the colourful area would always be packed with people. however having a leverage of having a boyfriend as a person that leads a pack there, you used it to walk safe and sound, not getting lost either. rindou and you had a date while his brother and his members were scattered around there. you went to the toilet to freshen up and take a leak without rindou's knowing because you thought it was going to be a second. boy were you wrong. "where are they?!" "i don't know rindou? maybe they went somewhere?" "look for them!" "gosh rindou y/n's so short we won't find them at this point" "SHUT UP ANIKII IM PANICKING" "oh what's wrong?" you came back at the sight of your boyfriend looking stressed and his brother who had hands on his hips. when the two of them saw you they sighed in relief and ran whispered to his member. the member then shouted "y/n has been found! you guys can stop searching now!" "you guys were searching for me?" "nevermind sweetheart. let's go, i saw pretty flowers there"

taiju (canon height 6"5)

taiju has noticed one of your habits if you two were in a date. which is to wander off to god knows where. so he always make sure that his hand is securely wrapped around yours so you won't wander off somewhere too far where he can't see you and even if you wandered, you'd be dragging him with you. but one day he forgot. the man had forgot to hold your hand because he saw this new, shiny television that peaked his interest. he was checking the quality, the audio and turned to asked you only to find you gone. well, shit. taiju cursed under his breath, ditched the television and went to find you around the store. it was looking for a damn pokemon or something because he looked down and never up. that was until he saw your short figure (although being short you had fast steps) he ran after you and hugged you from behind. "oh taiju? look at these flowers! i wanna grow them so our flowers at home won't be lonely" "you wandered off again, love" "oh did i? well, these flowers looks too pretty for me! let's buy one, hello may i ask how much is this?!" yeah, you were going to be the death of him. also going to be the cause of him having a neck sprain.

hanma (canon height 6"4)

hanma adored the height difference between you two, the man finding it cute although one thing that it was a pain to search for you if you're suddenly gone. you two were at a funfair and hanma on purpose had tied a balloon with a heart shaped on your wrist. you were holding his hand while your other hand hugged a teddy bear hanma won earlier. "shuji look! cotton candy!" "what colour do you want love i'll buy it for you" "hmm, blue!" "alright stay here" hanma walked around to get to the counter, so many people were there. when he came back, your figure was nowhere to be found but no worries! the balloon now works as a gps so he looks for a heart shaped balloon, pink coloured and saw one not too far. you were looking at some keychains when shuji kissed your cheek from behind making you giggle a bit. "your cotton candy" "mmf thankyou shuji, look keychains!" look forward to him tying floating stuff around your wrist so you can be spotted after this.