#(i know he's essentially a cameo in this but he has a speaking role at least i feel justified tagging him)

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID: four page comic of the owl house. Page 1: Eda walks past Luz, Gus and Willow, who're sat on the floor of the owl house around a box labeled "Eda's Music". Eda notices them and peeks around the corner asking "uh, hey kid- whatcha doin?". Luz says "oh hey Eda!".

Page 2: Luz says "we were just going through all your old human music!" While holding a CD case. She continues "I've been getting nostalgic listening to some old latin pop CDs, like what my mom used to play around the house! (You have a surprising amount of merengue music btw)". Gus sheds a single tear and says "I've sampled human music before but, wow, just, wow! The technique...the inspiration...Carly Rae Jepsen is a genius". Willow looks to the side and says "and I've been listening to your old breakup mixtapes!".

Page 3: Eda looks at her blankly before saying "my what?". Willow says- "your breakup music! There's a whole box of it. I'm pretty over it now but back in the day...when Amity stopped hanging out with me...it hit me hard. I kinda had a phase of only listening to angsty breakup songs for like...a month. Maybe more. It's kinda sad in retrospect".

In the background we can see a flashback of young willow sobbing in bed while summoning vines to cover photos of her and Amity on her wall. Willow continues "things are a lot better now don't get me wrong...but I still listen to that playlist every once in a while when I need a release". Eda contemplates, then grimaces, remembering breakup with Raine (who's pictured saying "it's over, eda").

Page 4: Eda looks at Willow. She eventually says "wanna trade?" And Willow looks up. Final panel shows Luz standing in the doorway concerned as she looks at Willow and Eda. willow is kneeling in front of a casette player and headphones with a shadowy expression and Eda is in the family guy death post with a phone and headphone wire next to her. Both have annotations- Willow's says "got One of Us by ABBA" and Eda's is "got Nightshift by Lucy Dacus". Luz says "you guys good?". End ID]

*slides my Eda and Willow trade angsty breakup songs on s2A hc across the table*

[untitled-gem]

Everything we know about Fionna and Cake's first episode!

As you know, the episode was just shown at San Diego Comic Con. I thought I'd make a helpful post to let you all know exactly what we learned about the episode.

All the information will be from user HypraSeaPea on Twitter, who attended the premiere.

WARNING: This post contains what some would consider to be spoilers!!! It's important to note that there WAS essentially a play-by-play of the episode in the AT SubReddit, but as far as I know, that has been removed. I did not read it as to not spoil myself, and this post is mainly HINTS at what's to come, not a full recount.

The episode is apparently a lot different to what a lot of people are expecting, and VERY GOOD

According to this user, the reason why the descriptions of the series have all been pretty vague is because it is a case like 'Distant Lands: Together Again' and it would essentially spoil the rest of the plot.

The show has light swears such as 'damn' and 'Jesus', however we don't know which characters are saying them.

It has been described as a 'departure from the original series but still feels like Adventure Time, with lots of little references like Distant Lands'.

We don't know what time period it is set in yet, since it is a different universe.

Gunter makes an appearance! (It could be because of the Ice Thing-like sword)

The episode references the original AT episode 'Fionna and Cake and Fionna', but in an unexpected way.

The episode was around 25 minutes long

There was not a title card like the original series, but there was a credits animation.

It has an intro sequence, although it's unknown if it was for the show as a whole. It contains a lot of quick cameos.

The episode was rated a 10/10 (if the payoff is good). It seems like this episode was just quite a lot of buildup.

The one second snippet from a while back wasn't in the episode, but it's possibly from Episode 2

There was a cameo of Flame Prince/Princess early on (possibly within the intro)

Episode 1 is very centered around Fionna as a main character. Cake still has a major role but it doesn't seem to be so much from her perspective.

The swears, specifically the use of 'Jesus' is thankfully done in a way that makes sense, and these swears don't replace the already used AT swear words like 'Glob' etc

Marshall Lee seems to be in it! And he also seems to be voiced by Donald Glover!

Finn and Jake didn't seem to have any involvement, which isn't surprising

Prince Gumball's voice has reportedly been changed

BMO has at least a line in the episode, still voiced by Niki Yang! Their 'Come Along With Me' room is also seen in it briefly as a reference it seems

Simon did not appear in the first episode. It's assumed that he will come up later, possibly in the second or third.

There were lots of the gender swapped characters, and lots with speaking roles besides the main two.

There were also some new gender swapped characters that we haven't seen before.

Apparently, this episode also includes a character we've only seen one time before.

In this episode it is also apparently revealed that Fionna's last name is Campbell, as opposed to Finn's which is Mertens. This is the genderswapped world so this makes sense

Marshall Lee seems to play quite a big part in the first episode

Flame Prince does make an appearance!!!!

I'll be updating this from time to time to include any details I missed!

[linkspooky]

Will we see your OCs from the werewolf fic in the sequels? I mean, Ito Rie will probably get a mention at most. It’s to be expected since she lives in the country side.

But will both halves of Noran-so will have any roles for the fic?

Speaking of Noran-so. Since both are conjoined twins, does that mean they are basically two people? Does that mean they would be the death paint 4 + 5? Or are both just 4?

Do each of the half act differently from each other? Or do they act similar to each other?

I was planning on Ito Rie having a scene where she gets to meet Junpei, post-this fic. It is a little bit hard to imagine what she would be doing post this-fic because she is so extremely shaped by the circumstances in her small town.

However, I think it's important to get a few scenes with Ito Rie not possessed and as herself so I was planning on including her as cameos at least.

This is an au where Junpei lives by the way, because it's my Au and I can do what I want with it. All of my Jujutsu Kaisen fics take place in the same general continuity but, it's hard to put an oc who's story exists mainly in another fic in because that's a lot of explaining I have to do to someone who probably just wanted to pick up and read the fic. As they are also usually meant to be self-contained stories and not really sequels to one another they just have the same characters bouncing around.

Basically my idea for Ito Rie post possession, and post this-fic is she eventually becomes a runaway from both the jujutsu world and her own village. Because she was spared by Mai, her desire is to meet Mai again. She, also like Mai would probably never be happy within the confines of life as a Jujutsu Sorcerer, or even life back in her village. She still has her obsession with the occult, macabre, and violent, which is probably why she would want to meet Junpei. She also doesn't know much about Jujutsu or cursed techniques because she wasn't the one in control, Noran-so. She actually does have potential for cursed technique the same way Junpei does, but she would have no idea how to use it. She's also, someone like Mimiko and Nanako where the damage done to her by her village is so permanent she can't ever integrate herself into society again and would probably have to find solace outside of it, the same way Mimiko and Nanako had to be taken in by Geto's family.

There's basically only one OC I have that shows up in some way or another in every fic, and that's Michikatsu. Look at him, he's cute.

Commission by @/kuronosehai

Both halves of Noran-so are definitely coming back though. They are going to be given human forms and incarnated the same way Choso, Kechizu and Eso was, but as seperate people.

Noran-so is only number four, not four and five, because four is symbolic to who they are. They had two heads, four arms, four legs, and at birth Kenjaku not really caring for their existence and individuality only considered them to be one person. When they were in their infant stage, basically shortly after their birth, even their brains were connected and wired to each other which meant they were closer than any of the other death painting siblings. They're two people, but they're also "Two in One." They'd consider their relationship like Jekkyl and Hyde where they are two parts of the same person, but that's not really how they work, they are in fact two seperate people. When they incarnated, because their bodies were pulled apart, they end up incarnating as two seperate people as well and longing for the closeness they used to have when they were conjoined and could essentially share all the same thoughts and talk to each other.

They act differently in that they represent yin and yang. When they were born they were also both sexes. (Though, the female half of Noran-so doesn't really care about gender designated at birth and considers themselves one of the brothers too). They represent male and female, the conscious and the subconscious, mental and physical. One of them is smarter, and one is a better fighter, but their strength is their coordination together. Also, I know I'm referring to them as "they" but that's because I don't want to spoil who their incarnated human forms are next fic.

Oh, but one more detail. Noran-so's body was split in half, so the designated female at birth half is the one haunting the village and the one that possessed Ito Rie. More or less, when Choso and Kechizu and Eso were woken up, they sent a call out to all the other death painting siblings and Noran-so as the fourth was the only curse strong enough to wake up. It was left there in the village, for a reason that will be revealed later. It woke up on its own, was in desperate need of a body, and possessed Ito. Possession is also a unique thing it can do, like how Choso has blood manipulation as it's cursed technique. The other half of Noran-so exists somewhere else, the designated Male-at-birth that was cut away from their sibling at birth, and those two will eventually reunited but as seperate people. Noran-so as it existed in this fic will gain a new body, and Noran-so dmab half will be in a different body already incarnated.

[httpjeon]

ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ — ᴋɴᴊ (ᴍ.)

namjoon/reader | angst, fluff, smut | dating service!au

wordcount: 10.3k

contents: date for hire, unsafe sex, sensitivity kink, size kink, dirty talk, fingering, car foreplay, safeword use, jimin cameo, panty kink (?), grinding, orgasm control, orgasm denial, cunnilingus, riding, wet&messy, creampie, light overstimulation

— synopsis: club ardor holds a special raffle for a free night with a man who will supposedly be the boyfriend of your dreams. you definitely don’t expect to win.

blog masterlist — series masterlist

© httpjeon — all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any medium is not allowed. translations not allowed.

The bar was a quiet and calm atmosphere, a Thursday night meaning it was just mostly people having a drink after work. As you wiped down the counters with the rag, you heard your coworker come from the back room calling your name.

"______, have you gotten a chance to check the raffles today yet?" she asked, grabbing a glass beside you to help clean it before you could.

You smiled in thanks, "No I haven't added them to the list yet but a few did pull a ticket today!"

"That's great," she smiled, giddy, "I think it's so exciting."

"A lot of people do seem interested in the service," you nodded, tossing your rag under the counter into the designated bin.

"I mean, how often is it that you get a free night with a man from Club Ardor?" she giggled, bumping you playfully with her hip, "Did you draw? I did."

"I haven't, no," you shrugged, smiling sheepishly.

"Why not?!" she gasped, grabbing another glass to dry off.

"I don't know..." you confessed, "I guess I'm nervous about if I win."

"Come on, it's basically a once in a lifetime opportunity!" she whined, turning around to grab the bowl and clipboard, "I'm signing you up."

You watched as she fished a paper from the bowl and handed it to you.

91294 was your number. She quickly wrote it down along with your name and contact information.

A worker from Club Ardor had shown up a week ago to explain the process of drawing and how to keep track. It was easy enough and there were already numerous spots filled on the pages.

You slipped your number into your pocket and turned around when a customer arrived at the bar to order a drink.

Somehow, you'd completely forgotten about the drawing.

It was your day off, after an especially rowdy weekend of working the bar, you were exhausted. Lounging on the couch, you munched from a bag of chips while watching TV.

From the coffee table, your phone began to buzz incessantly, making you frown. Turning to glare at the device, you saw an unknown number flashing across your screen indicating a call.

Wiping your fingers off on your sweatpants, you picked up your phone and accepted the call.

"Hello?" you sighed, hoping it wasn't a scammer.

"Hello, may I speak with Ms. ______?" a gentle, feminine voice filter through.

"Speaking," you responded, now curious.

"Ah, hello Ms. ______! My name is Joy, I'm calling on behalf of the raffle for Club Ardor," immediately, you were frozen in place, "I'm happy to congratulate that you've won the deluxe date package free of charge!"

"I...I won the..." you sat up on the couch, mouth open in shock as she laughed.

"Yes, you won," she giggled before you heard papers shuffling around.

"S-So...what happens?" you ask, heart beating loudly in your chest.

"Well, the winner is matched with Namjoon, he's the one we usually recommend for beginners," she explained, "You'll have 24 hours with him before it's over. The scene will be completely up to him—"

"Scene?" you repeated dumbly.

She hummed, "It's a term commonly used in BDSM. It's basically a planned encounter, meaning that everything that happens between you two is...essentially a role play, in this case."

"I...do we have to have sex?" you gasped at the mention of BDSM.

Joy chuckled on the line like she'd heard such a question numerous times, making your cheeks flush, "Absolutely not. You can if that is something you and he decide you want to do. If not, there is no pressure to do anything beyond talking. There is a safeword that the two of you can use if anything happens that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe."

"Okay..." you breathed in relief, "So...So what now?"

"Well, I'm going to ask you to download an app called Club Ardor. It will ask you for a password and it's the same as you raffle number. This will allow Namjoon and you to communicate safely without your numbers being revealed to the other."

"Oh...wow," you were impressed to say the least, "Alright, I'll do that. Thank you."

"If you have any questions of concerns feel free to call back!" she bid you farewell and you hung up.

After the call, you rushed to the App Store to download the app.

Just as you were told, the first screen that popped up was a code box and nothing held. You cursed, realizing you had no clue what the number on your ticket was.

Standing up, you rushed to your bedroom to find your laundry basket. Groaning, you began to dig through to collect all the pairs of your work pants that you had worn that week. You sat on the floor and began to search through the pockets of every pair.

"Ah-ha!" you cried as you pulled out a crumpled piece of paper.

You stumbled with how fast you stood up in an attempt to get back to your phone. You completely ignored the mess left behind by your rummaging and went back to sit on the couch.

Picking up your phone, you typed the number on the paper in and pressed enter. A small loading screen popped up before a profile to fill out filled your screen.

It was simple, asking height, weight, and basic characteristics.

After filling it out, you were brought to a simple blank page akin to that of an empty text message thread.

Unsure of what to do, you sat and clicked around for a minute to see if you were missing anything but nothing new happened so you locked your phone. Placing it to the side, you sighed as the nerves finally began to fade.

"I wonder..." you unlocked your phone and clicked on safari.

You typed in club ardor in the search and got a website of the same name.

"Welcome to Club Ardor, an exclusive dating service dedicated to living out every woman's fantasy," is what it read.

You scrolled past the information about how they were formed and where they were located. There was a box that was used to presumably register online for a date instead of calling to schedule. You also noticed there seemed to be a male-exclusive Club Ardor that operated separately from the one you were on.

Finally, you found what you were looking for: the dates profiles.

"Club Ardor's Dates are hand picked into the most desirable archetypes," you clicked next and were immediately brought to the profile of 'Namjoon — The Boyfriend Type.'

To your dismay, there was no picture of him — only basic information such as his height, weight, and age. You were surprised to notice the winning raffle number was the date of his birthday.

'Namjoon is most suitable for beginners. He offers an authentic Boyfriend Experience unlike any other you will experience.'

Beneath that was a small notice; “Namjoon’s service comes in a Deluxe Package and Standard Package. For 24 and 12 hours of date-time respectively!” 

Before you could click further to see the other men, you phone made an unfamiliar dinging noise before a notification came in indicating a new message on the Club Ardor app.

As you opened the app, your heart began to race. A new text thread became available from Namjoon.

"Hello, nice to meet you!" his message said.

You quickly replied back with a greeting of your own. It was indicated as 'read' immediately before he started typing.

"Our date is scheduled for Saturday afternoon," he said, "I'll let you know the details as soon as I have them. Do you have any questions?"

You read the message a few times, trying to think if you had anything to ask. Your fingers began typing before you realized what you were doing, "You plan the date by yourself?"

"Yes," he replied, "Every experience of my client is unique so no two women have the same date with me 😁! I will ask you questions to make sure that everything is to your liking so I don't plan something you may end up hating lol."

You smiled, instantly charmed by his personality as you replied, "Alright! I look forward to it 😇!"

Saturday was a week away and you had no idea how you were going to live through the anticipation. It'd been so long since you'd been on a date and now you're about to go on one that would supposedly be your dream date with your dream boyfriend.

Tuesday morning rolled around and you woke up to a couple messages from Namjoon.

ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟹:𝟷𝟾ᴀᴍ]  ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪᴛ's ʟᴀᴛᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇʟʏ ᴀsʟᴇᴇᴘ ʙᴜᴛ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏʟʟᴇɢᴇ ᴏʀ ᴡᴏʀᴋ?  ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟹:𝟺𝟿ᴀᴍ]  ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ ᴏʀ ᴜᴘsᴄᴀʟᴇ?  ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟽:𝟷𝟻ᴀᴍ]  ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ 😜!

The messages made you smile and you quickly typed up your response before getting out of bed, "I work at a bar and I probably prefer casual...I only won this date, remember? I'm not used to luxury so...and good morning!"

You watched for a second, locking it after a moment when he didn't read it.

"No way, you won?!" your coworker, Yongsun shrieked before covering her mouth when a customer glared her way, "You won the date?"

"Yeah..." you chuckled, sneakily unlocking your phone to show her the Club Ardor app with Namjoon's name on the preview to the text thread.

"Oh my god!" she squealed, grabbing your arm excitedly, "This is crazy! Oh my god, you're going to have to tell me everything."

"Nothing's really happened," you chuckled, "He's just asked a little about me and said he's making the best date he can for me."

"He already sounds like a dream..." she sighed, lashes fluttering.

"Let's get back to work," you chuckled, pocketing your phone.

With your shift over, your feet were killing you and you nearly collapsed before you could get the door closed. Your phone gave a now familiar ding and you pulled it out to see a message from Namjoon.

ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟷:𝟻𝟽ᴘᴍ] 

ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ?

You texted back letting him know your shift just ended and you were going to be heading home. He read it immediately and began to type.

ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟷:𝟻𝟽ᴘᴍ]  ʟᴀᴛᴇ sʜɪғᴛ, ʜᴜʜ...ʙᴇ sᴀғᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʜᴏᴍᴇ. ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʜᴏᴍᴇ.

You smiled, enjoying the way your heart fluttered in your chest at his words. He definitely had the 'boyfriend' role down to a science. Packing your things up, you bid goodbye to Yongsun and made the trek back home.

As soon as your door was shut and locked behind you, you pulled out your phone to text Namjoon.

ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟷𝟿ᴀᴍ]  ɪ'ᴍ ɢʟᴀᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ʜᴏᴍᴇ sᴀғᴇʟʏ. ɪᴛ's ʟᴀᴛᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴘʀᴏʙᴀʙʟʏ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ. ɢᴇᴛ sᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇsᴛ.

You bid him goodnight, and held your hand to your chest. He was dreamy. You wondered what he looked like.

His personality only gave you so much and you wished you could put a face to the man who seemed to increasingly make you swoon.

After getting ready for bed, you sat down and combed your freshly washed hair before pulling your phone out of the mess of blankets you'd thrown it into.

ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷:𝟶𝟷ᴀᴍ] 

ᴄᴀɴ ɪ ᴀsᴋ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ?

ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷:𝟶𝟷ᴀᴍ] 

sᴜʀᴇ, ᴅᴀʀʟɪɴɢ.

The pet name immediately had you blushing and you bit back a smile.

ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷:𝟶𝟸ᴀᴍ] 

ᴄᴀɴ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʟɪᴋᴇ?

He read the message and you waited to see if there was a response. When he didn't begin typing, you deflated slightly and sighed — taking it as a no.

As you tossed your phone to the side, you stood up to go to the bathroom to brush your teeth. Once finished, you crawled back into bed and picked up your phone.

You paused when you saw three minutes ago Namjoon had sent you a picture.

When you opened it, you felt like all the air had been punched out of your lungs.

He had blonde hair that was pushed back off of his forehead and thick, pretty lips. You could see the faintest hint of dimples on the flawless skin of his cheeks.

He was probably the most good looking mad you'd laid your eyes on.

As you stared at his picture, another text from him came in.

ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷:𝟶𝟽ᴀᴍ] 

ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ɴᴇʀᴠᴏᴜs ɴᴏᴛ ᴀɴsᴡᴇʀɪɴɢ, sᴡᴇᴇᴛʜᴇᴀʀᴛ.

ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷:𝟶𝟽ᴀᴍ]

sᴏʀʀʏ...ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴊᴜsᴛ sᴜʀᴘʀɪsᴇᴅ. ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ...ᴠᴇʀʏ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ.

ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷:𝟶𝟾ᴀᴍ] 

ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ, ɪ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ sʜᴏᴡ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ ғᴀᴄᴇ.

You frowned, feeling self-conscious as you had to follow up a picture of your own face after seeing his incredibly attractive self.

ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷:𝟶𝟿ᴀᴍ] 

ɪ'ʟʟ sᴇɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ. 

ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷:𝟶𝟿ᴀᴍ]  ᴋᴇᴇᴘɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ᴇᴅɢᴇ. ɪ sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢᴀᴍᴇ, ᴅᴀʀʟɪɴɢ. ɪ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ғᴏʀᴡᴀʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ɪᴛ.

The teasing tone and pet name had you flushing, unable to respond as you locked your phone and plugged it in for the night.

When you woke up, you had a text from Namjoon greeting you good morning once more. It brought a smile to your face and you texted him good morning back before once again leaving to get ready.

As soon as you got to work, you showed Yongsun the picture of Namjoon. You were sure she nearly had a stroke as she covered her mouth to scream gleefully before gushing about how good looking he was.

"Man, Club Ardor really...really did choose well, huh?" she hummed, zooming in on his face, "Look at his lips, man, if you don't get at least one kiss from him I will make your life hell."

"You trying to live vicariously through me?" you giggled at her dramatic nature.

"I can't any other way! I'm too poor to snag a date with one of them," she pouted, putting her work apron on with a sigh, "It must be nice to be rich."

"He keeps calling me pet names, it's honestly..." you quickly tied your hair up as you spoke, "He really feels like a boyfriend, it's crazy."

"Club Ardor lives up to its reputation," Yongsun nodded, "I thought it was only a 24-hour thing, how come you've got him for a week in advance?"

You shrugged, putting your phone on silent before pocketing it, "When I won, the lady said it was a special deluxe package. I didn't think to ask. Maybe I'll ask Namjoon later."

"I wonder how many women end up falling for them by accident," she mumbled, opening the staff door leading to the bar for you, "They must have broken numerous hearts if everyone is as authentic as Namjoon seems..."

"I guess that's the price you pay for a fake date with the man of your dreams," you replied, sighing, "They ruin you for anyone else."

Getting home, you noticed you didn't have any messages at all from Namjoon. It was odd but you didn't think anything of it. Heading to the bathroom, you touched up your makeup and fixed your hair before taking several selfies until you found a suitable one.

Taking a deep breath, you quickly sent it to Namjoon with an attaching message reading "as promised!"

When you didn't receive a reply, you decided to just head to bed.

Waking up that morning, you quickly realized it was going to be a shitty day. Your alarm on your phone failed to go off properly — you must have forgotten to turn it on the night before. It led you into getting ready as quickly as you could to get to work on time.

You arrived at the last minute, Yongsun having arrived earlier than you so you didn't have a chance to talk to her.

When your lunch break rolled around, you had the first moment to check your phone. Opening the text thread with Namjoon, you noticed he had seen your picture shortly after you sent it the night before but hadn't responded.

It made you feel bad, your already low mood easily receiving another hit from the bad day.

Putting it on silent once more, you put it in your pocket and returned to work.

By the time you got home, you were beyond drained. Your mood was in the toilet, your feet hurt, and you had barely gotten any tips.

You took a shower, hoping to relax the tense, sore muscles in your back. The hot water and soothing atmosphere helped to clear your mind.

By the time you got out, you were feeling a little better and decided to curl up on the couch for the night in comfortable pajamas and fuzzy socks. Covering yourself with your favorite throw blanket, you turned the TV on and let yourself settle down.

Before long, you were dozing off. You had gotten several episodes into a drama and decided to call it quits once the current turned off. In an effort to keep yourself awake, you sat up and grabbed your phone off of the coffee table.

When you unlocked it, you were surprised to see several text messages from Namjoon.

ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟷𝟾ᴀᴍ] 

ʜᴇʏ sᴡᴇᴇᴛʜᴇᴀʀᴛ, sᴏʀʀʏ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ᴀʙsᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʜᴏᴡ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ? 

ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟸𝟸ᴀᴍ] 

ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏᴏ ᴜᴘsᴇᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ, ɪ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛᴏ ɢʜᴏsᴛ ʏᴏᴜ. 

ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟸𝟾ᴀᴍ]  ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ʜᴏᴍᴇ sᴀғᴇʟʏ.

You couldn't help but smile as you unlocked the phone and typed out your reply.

ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟹𝟸ᴀᴍ] 

ɪᴛ's ᴏᴋᴀʏ. ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴏᴍᴇ. 

ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟹𝟸ᴀᴍ]  ɪs sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ?

You were surprised both by his quick response and ability to tell that something was wrong.

ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟹𝟹ᴀᴍ] 

ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀ ʙᴀᴅ ᴅᴀʏ. ɪs ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴏᴋᴀʏ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ? 

ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟹𝟺ᴀᴍ] 

ʏᴇᴀʜ, ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪs ғɪɴᴇ. ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ʙᴜsʏ sᴜᴅᴅᴇɴʟʏ! 

ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟹𝟺ᴀᴍ]  ᴏʜ? ᴡᴀs ɪᴛ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴄʟɪᴇɴᴛ?

You were quite curious about the aspect of his job. It was such an unknown world to you that it actually made you want to know more about what happens behind the scenes.

ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟹𝟻ᴀᴍ] 

ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ, ɴᴏ. ɪ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ʙɪɢ ᴇxᴀᴍ ғᴏʀ ᴍʏ ᴄʟᴀss. ɪᴛ ᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ ᴛᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ ᴀʟʟ ᴍʏ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴛᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ. 

ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟹𝟻ᴀᴍ] 

ᴄʟᴀss? ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀ ᴄᴏʟʟᴇɢᴇ sᴛᴜᴅᴇɴᴛ?! 

ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟸:𝟹𝟻ᴀᴍ]  ʏᴇᴀʜ! ɪ'ᴍ ᴀ ʙɪᴏʟᴏɢʏ ᴍᴀᴊᴏʀ ᴀᴛ sɴᴜ.

You were stunned. SNU was a tough university to get into, and the fact Namjoon had — he had to be smart. You were confused why a man like that was a date-for-hire. It felt too invasive to ask so you simply replied with an impressed 'that's amazing'.

He immediately began typing again and you waited just a second until the message popped up.

"I've got to go, something with work came up. I just want to say that I enjoyed your picture, you're absolutely beautiful and I can't wait to see your beauty in person. Sleep nice, sweetheart."

For the first time that day, you felt happy.

Friday morning, you were a mess of nerves. You still had work and you were thankful that it would be able to take your mind off of it.

As you worked, you felt your phone buzz and you heart raced in response. You hoped it was Namjoon.

It wasn't until you lunch break that you were able to open it.

He had asked how you were feeling which you replied with an honest 'nervous'.

Before your break ended, you got a sweet 'don't be nervous, baby. It'll be fun, I promise!'

Once you were home, you found yourself opening the text thread with Namjoon to greet him. He didn't respond quickly so you jumped in the shower to wash off the filth that had started to cling to you. You'd gotten off earlier than usual but there had still been the loud, smoking, drunk patrons that frequented on weekends. The smell of cigarettes stunk up your hair so you eagerly washed it, enjoying the scent of your lavender shampoo.

You stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around your body as you used another to scrunch your hair dry.

Taking a seat on your bed, you noticed the screen lit up with a notification.

ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟶:𝟷𝟻ᴘᴍ] 

ʜᴇʏ ʙᴀʙʏ, ɪ'ᴍ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴅʀᴇss ᴄᴏᴍғᴏʀᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ. ᴡᴇᴀʀ sʜᴏᴇs ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɪɴ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ. 

ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟶:𝟷𝟼ᴘᴍ] 

ᴀʟʀɪɢʜᴛ! ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴀ sᴋɪʀᴛ ʙᴇ ᴏᴋᴀʏ? 

ғʀᴏᴍ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟶:𝟷𝟼ᴘᴍ] 

ᴛʜᴀᴛ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ғɪɴᴇ, ᴅᴀʀʟɪɴɢ. ɪ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ғᴏʀᴡᴀʀᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ! 

ᴛᴏ: ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ [𝟷𝟶:𝟷𝟽ᴘᴍ] 

ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɪᴛ!

You locked your phone and put it on to charge for the night after bidding him goodnight. Sighing, you stood up and made your way to the closet. Luckily you had an outfit idea in mind and you stood up to fish it out.

Feeling giddy, you hung it up on the hook on the back of your door and picked out a pair of flats. You'd had them for a year, they were still in excellent shape but they'd been worn enough to be more than comfortable.

Then you finally laid down in bed, curling up with your blankets around you.

You woke up at 11 — your alarm pulling you from a deep sleep. Sitting up, you stretched and let out a groan as you joints popped. You tossed your feet onto the floor and stood up, making your way to the bathroom.

When you came out, you spotted the outfit today's date on the door of your closet and smiled. Your heart fluttered in your chest and you eagerly picked up your phone, unlocking it when you saw a message from Namjoon.

Your fingers trembled as you read that it was a simple address.

"Meet me here at 12:30...we're having lunch!"

You decided to get dressed and use the hour you had to do your hair and makeup. When you were ready, you let out a slow exhale to steady your nerves as you slid your shoes on and headed out.

It was wonderful weather and the light breeze felt nice on your bare legs. The skirt made you feel cute and encouraged you to hold your head high.

The address led you to a small, family owned restaurant. You opened the door, taking a look around. It had a rustic vibe and there were a couple people scattered around. You inhaled, the smell of cooking food making your stomach growl.

Realizing that Namjoon wasn't at any of the tables, you decided to choose a booth that was located in a quiet corner.

A waiter stopped to deliver a menu to you before asking if you wanted a drink. After ordering a coke, he disappeared and you opened the menu.

You checked the time, frowning when you realizing it was 10 past the time he'd told you. The waiter placed your drink down and you thanked him.

"Do you want to order anything?" he asked, holding a small pad and pen.

"Um no...not yet, I'm waiting for someone," you replied sheepishly. He nodded and put the pad away before he disappeared again.

As you resumed looking at the menu, eyeing the burger options, someone dropped down into the booth seat across from you. You jumped, head jerking up to meet the brilliant, dimpled smile of Namjoon.

"Hi," he greeted, his voice smooth and rich. It made your heart flutter and your cheeks burn. He was gorgeous, deep dimples and pretty brown eyes that sparkled. His hair was honey blonde but was hanging in his eyes, giving him a boyish appearance.

"H-Hi..." you breathed, looking away when you couldn't hold his stare any longer.

"Cute..." you heard him chuckle before he leaned back in the booth, "Sorry I'm late...work held me for a bit longer than I anticipated."

"I-It's fine," you mumbled, the two of you being interrupted by the waiter placing another menu down for Namjoon and asking him for his drink order.

"Can I get a coffee black," he asked, smiling before looking down at the menu, "Got any clue what you want?"

"I kind of want a burger..." you mumbled, eyeing the different options.

"You read my mind," he chuckled, sending heat to your cheeks once again, "The burgers here are to die for."

"You come here often?" you asked, raising a brow when he nodded.

"Usually after class, it's on the way to my apartment so..." he shrugged.

"Here you go, sir," the waiter said, placing the cup of steaming coffee down in front of Namjoon, "Do you two know what you want?"

After the two of you ordered, you were left alone. Namjoon looked effortless at ease, a small smirk playing on his lips as he looked at you.

"You look cute," he complimented, smiling gleefully when you became flustered, "Do I make you nervous?"

"N-Not nervous..." you mumbled, biting your lip, "It's just..strange, I guess."

He nodded, leaning forward to rest his chin on his hand thoughtfully, "I get it. There's build up to it and then when it finally happens it sort feels unreal."

"Yeah," you chuckled, lifting your glass to your lips to take a sip from the straw, "I was meaning to ask you...er," you paused before you voiced the question, "Are you okay with...talking about your...job?"

He chuckled, "Ask away."

"How come you're going to a school like SNU...but working this job?" you asked, "I mean there's nothing wrong with a date-for-hire job but like..."

"I get it," he nodded, sitting back to sip his coffee, "To be honest, I just needed a way to pay my way through. I didn't exactly...expect to pass the entrance exam, it was just a spur of the moment decision, and then when I did...I realized I had absolutely no way to pay for it," he sighed, a smile playing on his lips, "So I was looking around and...the opportunity to work for Club Ardor came up so I took it."

"That's interesting..." you hummed, stirring your drink with the straw, "You've got to be pretty smart to pass the exam without even expecting to."

He chuckled, dropping his head. You could see his ears turn pink and you realized he was shy, "I just...do my best," he cleared his throat and looked back up at you, "So you work at a bar?"

"Unfortunately," you huffed.

"You don't like it?" he asked.

"Not really," was your reply, making him frown, "Kills my feet and it's usually shit pay and tips. I'd quit and get a new job if I could but I can't risk losing my apartment and stuff..."

"I understand," he said and looked like he was going to say something else but the waiter interrupted with the plates of food.

The two of you fell into a surprisingly comfortable silence as you began eating. You hummed at the delicious taste, making Namjoon smile.

"Good right?" he chuckled when you nodded enthusiastically, taking another bite.

After you both had finished your burgers, he ordered a piece of chocolate mousse cake to share. It was wonderfully easy to fall into Namjoon's rhythm, you realized. He was calm, easy to talk to, and witty — making you laugh by barely doing anything.

You were comfortable with him.

However, there was a heavy feeling deep in the back of your mind as you remembered that this wasn't real. It was his job to make you have fun — he was paid to make you feel nice.

You were surprised to find that the two of you had been there for a while — it was nearing four o'clock. He seemed a bit surprised as well as he checked the watch on his wrist. You couldn't help but notice how expensive it looked.

"I think we should get going, our next destination awaits," he stood up, slapping down a couple bills from his wallet as a tip.

"There's more?" you asked, taking his hand when he offered it to you.

He chuckled, lacing your fingers together as he nodded, "Of course, wouldn't it be disappointing if this is all we did? A whole 24 hours to kill...man, I would not be worth my salt."

"I-I guess..." you chuckled, acutely aware of the way his hand felt in yours, "Where are we going though?"

"Ah...you're not getting information out of me that easily," he teased, opening the door for you to let you out first, "It's a surprise!"

"What if I hate surprised?" you asked, teasingly raising a brow.

"Well..." he stopped in front of a sleek black car and smiled, "I guess you better learn to love them pretty fast."

He didn't let you answer before he was opening the passenger car door and ushering you inside. Once he was sure you were comfortable, he shut the door with a slam and jogged around the front to slide into the driver's seat.

As he began driving, he turned on the radio and let a comfortable silent settle in. You took a moment to take him in; his long, pretty fingers gripping the wheel and the way his jeans hugged his thick thighs. As he stared ahead at the road, you could make out the sharp of his jawline and how his lips glistened in the sunlight after he dug his tongue across them.

He was dreamy to say the least.

"You okay?" he asked, smiling that pretty smile, "Do you want to AC on?"

"No, I'm okay," you replied, looking away at almost being caught.

However, you were quickly forced to look back at him when you felt his hand slide over yours on the middle console until you let him lace your fingers together.

"We're heading out of Seoul," he said, "We should be at our destination by 7."

"Is there something interesting going on out of Seoul?" you asked, making him shake his head.

"Interesting for other people, no. Interesting for us...very much so," he squeezed your hand, bring it up to his lips to press a kiss against the skin.

Your heart hammered loudly in your chest as his lips lingered.

He was good at his job, you'd give him that.

The time passed with the two of you talking; he introduced you to his favorite music and made you laugh as his sang along off-key. He even took a bit to passionately explain a recent portion of his course in college to you — even though you barely understood anything. He looked so cute with bright eyes as he excitedly spewed things off from memory.

It was nice. It was comfortable.

His hand in yours felt nice.

The sun was just beginning to set, casting a vibrant orange glow on the world around you when the two of you suddenly pulled into a side road. The pavement gradually turned to gravel before it was just dirt.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were bringing me out here to murder me," you joked as you watched the heavily lined trees pass.

Namjoon laughed wholeheartedly from beside you, "Oh darn, you caught on."

His sarcasm made you smile, your eyes focused on the road in front of you. After several minutes, the trees finally vanished Namjoon stopped the car.

You stepped out of the car when he opened the door for you, grinning.

Looking around, you realized you were in a huge grass field. There wasn't anything in sight as far as you could see. It was a vibrant green, almost glowing in the orange light.

"What...what's here?" you asked, looking to him as he leaned back against the hood of his car.

"Just wait, baby, come here," you flushed at the pet name and let him pull you into his chest.

His arms wrapped around your waist and you could feel his breath fanning over your ear. He smelled incredible, a musky — almost spicy scent of his cologne making your eyes flutter.

You relaxed, your back to his chest as you both stared out over the seemingly endless field.

As the minutes ticked by, the sun began to sink lower and the light diminished further. You were eager to know what exactly you were waiting for.

Suddenly Namjoon hummed, "There they are..."

Your eyes moved from his face back to the field and you couldn't help but gasp at what you saw.

The field was lighting up with seemingly millions of little lights. You stepped forward, eyes wide as you watched the lights dance around endlessly as the field vibrantly came to life.

"This is..." you gaped for a second before looking back at Namjoon, "Incredible!"

"I heard about this place a couple months ago," he explained, pushing himself off the hood of his car, "A friend of mine took his kids out here and it sounded so magical I wanted to come. I didn't have the opportunity to until now."

"I'm so glad you decided to take me here," you whispered, beginning to make your way into the field.

The grass was thigh-high, clearly unmaintained but you didn't mind. The fireflies surrounded you, landing on your body and flickering their little lights brightly.

"I'm glad I took you here too..." he said, making you jump as he was suddenly behind you.

As you looked up at him, you could see the way the fireflies lights reflected off the deep pools of brown in his eyes. He looked ethereal, smiling down at you as if it were just the two of you in the world.

He turned you around, wrapping his arm around your waist and reaching up to cup your cheek. Your breathing stuttered as he leaned down just slightly — hinting at what he wanted.

"Can I kiss you, ______?" he asked, voice barely above a whisper.

"Y-Yeah...I'd like that..." you replied.

He smiled just slightly before his lips descended down upon yours. They were soft and as his thumb softly stroked your cheek, you returned the kiss. Your hands found purchase on his chest and you stood on your tip toes to deepen the kiss. He eagerly reciprocated, cupping the back of your head to tangle his fingers in your hair as his lips moved effortlessly against your own.

When you pulled away, you were both panting and he wore a small smirk.

"Ready to head back?" he asked, voice a few octaves deeper.

A shiver went down your spine when you felt his way his hands lingered on your body. You nodded and let him take your hand to lead you back to the car.

The atmosphere between the two of you changed drastically from before. It was tense and heated.

You could feel his gaze shifting to you every few minutes, lingering in a way that had your body heating up. With every second that passed, the more you thought about that kiss.

He was a good kisser. You wondered what else those lips could do. He had pretty hands. You wanted them on your body — wanted to feel his touch on your skin.

It seemed Namjoon shared the same idea as his hand suddenly found purchase on your thigh — bare from the skirt you wore. Goosebumps rose along your skin in response.

His fingers inched towards the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. You let your thighs separate for his wandering touch and you heard him release a breathy exhale.

"Tell me if you want me to touch you," he said, making you lick your lips, "I'll only do it if you say yes."

"Pl-Please touch me, Namjoon," you breathed shamelessly eyes fluttering when his hand forced your legs further apart so he could cup your clothed core.

"The safeword is firefly," he growled, the sound only dampening your panties. Your breathing hastened at the soft, teasing touch of his fingers, "Say it."

"Th-The safeword...is firefly," you breathed, letting your head fall back against the headrest as you arched you hips further into his touch.

"Good girl," he grinned, never taking his eyes off the road.

His fingers were skilled and precise, forcing the damp fabric between your folds to find your clit. You shuddered at the rough friction against your hardening bud, biting your lip to hold back from crying out. He let out a breathy chuckle, clearly enjoying teasing you.

You were getting wetter with every second that passed, making your panties stick to you almost uncomfortably.

"Can you take your panties off for me, babygirl?" he asked, taking his eyes off the road to take a look at you as you reached under your skirt. Hooking your thumbs beneath the band of your panties, you tugged them down. You pulled your knees up to your chest to tug them off of your feet.

Before you could toss them away, Namjoon grabbed them and sat up to shove them into his pocket before his hand found purchase on your thigh again.

"Spread your legs wide, baby," he mumbled, licking his lips as you did as you were told.

With your pussy completely exposed, he could see the way your wetness glistened in the passing light from outside. He let out a breathy groan when his digits found their way between your folds, spreading them apart to make you shiver as the AC breezed over your sensitive slit.

You let your mouth fall open with a small whine when he slid his middle finger into your entrance, the long digit easily finding your sweet spot — which he immediately began to abuse. When you looked over to him, you could see he wore a smirk on his lips and it made your walls flutter around him.

He hummed, pulling the digit out to circle your swollen clit — your own arousal allowing him to make effortlessly quick circles on the bud until you reached down to grab his wrist.

He chuckled, letting you slow him, "Sensitive, baby?"

"Mhm..." you sighed, not releasing your hold on him as he moved to sink two fingers into your cunt, "Feels good..." you whispered.

"Yeah?" he chuckled, licking his lips as he slowly pumped his fingers into your wet pussy, the noises almost obscene in the otherwise quiet car, "So tight, baby."

You didn't offer a response, merely grinding your hips down to get him to touch that spot again. When he did, you jolted and moaned. Namjoon hummed, his cock painfully hard in his jeans. He wanted to relieve the ache but both hands were too occupied.

"Hey baby?" he asked, smiling at your dazed 'hm?', "Can you unbutton my jeans for me?"

As you reached over, fingers ghosting over his hardness through the material of his jeans, he added a third finger. It made you paused, instinctively gripping his cock. He groaned, biting his lip at the feeling until you finally pulled the button out of the loop and pulled the zipper down.

"Fuck, that's better..." he mumbled to himself, angling his fingers in your hole upwards to press that spot again — enjoying the way it made you tremble.

He paused in surprised when your hand dove beneath his jeans to cup his cock through the cotton of his boxers, "You're...big..." The comment had him grinning, ego boosted, "You know how to use it, right?"

"Do you think I don't, babygirl?" he growled, pulling his fingers from your cunt to lightly slap your clit. You jolted and covered your mouth with your hand to quiet the shriek you let out in surprise at the sting.

You hummed, squeezing his cock, "I hope you do but...sometimes guys have big cocks that they just can't use."

You felt a rush of excitement as you saw his tongue poke the inside of his cheek angrily, clearly not happy with your challenge.

"You'll see how well I can use this cock soon, baby," his voice was low and dark, "Until then, sit back and let me play with your little cunt, huh? I don't wanna hear anything but moaning from that pretty mouth, got it?"

You didn't answer, resulting in a sharp slap to your sensitive bud again.

"Answer me," he growled, stroking his fingers over your folds to sooth the sting when you voice your understanding.

It seemed like everything turned into a daze around you. You could only focus on the incredible feeling of his hands touching your cunt. Every time it seemed that you were close to release, he'd back off and ease you away from orgasm.

You were growing frustrated, nearing tears when the car came to a sudden stop. Blinking yourself out of the daze, you looked around to find you had pulled into a small parking garage.

You sat up in the seat, pulling your thighs together and shivered when you felt how wet you were. Namjoon opened your door and helped you out, slamming it before you heard it automatically lock — deafening in the garage. He took your hand and tugged you in the direction of the doors.

There was a red carpet leading up the two darkened glass doors which Namjoon easily opened with a slide of a card in the reader that sat on the wall. When you stepped inside, you were stunned to see that it was a breathtaking, extravagant sitting room.

It was furnished mostly white with a couch and chairs, even a TV and table. There was a door on the other side that also appeared to be locked with a card reader.

"This is restricted to the guys and clients only," he explained, leading you over to an elevator. He pressed the button to call it and the two of you fell silent.

You squeezed your thighs together at the lingering arousal, only increasing when you felt his hand trail beneath the back of your skirt the graze over your folds. The elevator dinged and slid open, the two of you stepping inside. Namjoon pressed a button and the elevator doors closed.

He suddenly turned around, pinning you against the wall of the elevator. The metal railing pressed against your spine but you paid it no mind because his lips were quickly pressed against yours. You sighed into the kiss, gripping his shirt tightly in your hands to pull him closer to you. His body was warm and firm, hands gripping your hips to grind his still hard length against you with a groan.

The elevator dinged with the arrival to the correct floor, his lips lingered on yours for a second before the doors began to open. Before either of you could step off, you were greeted by another man who stood with his hands shoved in his pockets.

"What're you doing, Jimin?" Namjoon asked, sounding surprised as he stepped aside to let the other on.

"I was going to go out but now I'm stuck in an elevator with you for another minute," the new man mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back.

You took a moment to look him over, black hair pushed back messily to reveal strong brows and sharp eyes. The man oozed intimidation and you felt your heart speed up. Namjoon seemed unaffected and you assumed it was because he'd been around the stranger, Jimin, a lot.

The elevator dinged once again and opened up. Jimin gave Namjoon a short wave when you both stepped out before he reached over and pressed a button. You caught sight of a smirk on his full lips before the doors closed.

You let out a sigh, letting Namjoon take your hand once again.

"Sorry about that," he chuckled, "We don't usually run into each other like that."

"He's another...date?" you asked as he led you down a hallway. There were several doors that you passed but he was taking you to the very end of the hall it seemed.

"Yeah, that's Jimin," he responded.

"He was...scary," you mumbled, making him laugh.

"A couple of the guys are pretty intimidating," he said, "A lot of girls are into that type though."

"I see..." you said, the run in with another date only seemed to pull you out of the daze you'd gotten into with him. It reminded you that you were only part of his job, and that thought made your chest ache. You felt almost pathetic and you realized how lonely you would feel after you left him.

"Again, sorry," he sighed, seemingly realizing you had been pulled from the scene. He stopped in front of a door at the very end of the hallway, pulling out the card he used for entry and slid it into the door like a hotel keycard. The red light turned green and he pushed the door open.

"It's okay..." you assured, smiling politely when he let you walk in first.

He flicked the light on and you paused to look around. It was a homely, casually decorated room. There was a TV and a couch connected to a kitchen. You could see through a doorway across the room that it was a bedroom. The carpet was soft and warm beneath your feet when you took your shoes off.

"This is our room for the night," he smiled, placing his keys and wallet into a drawer next to the door, which automatically locked with a keycode, "I chose it just for you."

"There are other rooms to choose from?" you asked, wandering further into the living room to take a seat on the couch.

"Yeah, this whole floor is actually mine," he said, kicking his own shoes off, "We all have our own floor. Each room is furnished and styled differently according to client and scene."

"Interesting," you sighed, letting yourself relax on the couch as Namjoon wandered into the kitchen.

You watched him open the fridge and pull out a couple bottles of coke. He placed it down on the coffee table in front of you before he sat down as well.

"Thanks," you smiled as he put his arm around your shoulders and grabbed the remote, turning the TV on.

After a moment of him channel surfing, you realized you needed to pee. Excusing yourself, you followed his directions into the bedroom to the bathroom.

The bedroom was designed just as homely as the living room, with a bed of several fluffy pillows and a bedspread that looked soft. There was a dresser and bedside tables as well. It sort of looked like a bedroom a couple would share.

Shaking that thought from your head, you stepped into the bathroom and closed the door.

Namjoon sat on the couch and sighed when he heard the bathroom door close. He could tell you felt strange about everything now and he cursed Jimin's appearance.

The only way the scenes worked was if he was able to make his client feel like their relationship was real and genuine. Usually he would let his client figure her own way around and he'd move on with his job but for some reason he really wanted to see you lost in everything with him.

You weren't familiar with this life whereas his clientele consisted of women who regularly used dating services. The way everything was so new to you was endearing and he wanted you to have a good time.

He broke out of his thoughts when you sheepishly called his name from the doorway of the bedroom.

"What is it, baby?" he asked, glancing at the way you gripped the edge of your skirt.

"Y-You still have my um..." a smile bloomed across his face as you inched closer to him until you were standing in front of him.

"Your what?" he asked, cocking his head to the side in faux confusion.

"M-My panties," you grumbled, holding your hand out, "Give them back, it feels weird not wearing any."

"I think I prefer you without them," he grinned, sitting forward.

Your breathing stuttered when his hands gripped your thighs, urging you forward until your standing between his spread knees. His fingers found the edge of your blouse, pulling it out of the band of your skirt. Your hands naturally found purchase on his hair as he leaned forward to press a soft kiss against the soft skin of your stomach.

His hair was soft and he sighed when you tugged it as his lips ghosted over a sensitive spot. Pulling back, he reached up to undo the first button of your shirt, pausing to give you a chance to stop him. When you didn't, he continued to undo the buttons until it was hanging open. He licked his lips as he sat back to admire you, your breasts looking wonderful in the pretty bralette he knew you wore just for him. It wasn't lost on him that it matched your panties.

His hands traveled up your body until he cupped your breasts through the bra, making you sigh and arch your back for him. He pushed the bottom up until your breasts came into view and he felt his cock throb in his jeans at the sight of your perked nipples.

Your cheeks burned hot as he shamelessly drank in the sight of your bare breasts. You quickly stripped the article off, leaving you in your skirt alone.

He released a shaky breath and grabbed your hips, urging you forward until you fell into his lap. Cupping the back of your head, he brought you down for a heated kiss. You could feel his length, so hard, beneath you and you reached down to unbutton his jeans once again. This time, however, you pulled his cock free. You could see precum glistening on the tip and as you gave him a quick squeeze, you watched it drip down the head to meet your hand.

He pulled you down so you were suddenly sitting on his cock, the shaft sliding between your wet folds. He groaned, head falling back as you immediately began to grind against him, your clit sliding along the sensitive underside of him.

"You're so wet..." he breathed as he felt you dripping down his cock, "Does it feel good, baby?"

"So good," you whined, gripping his shoulders as you eagerly ground yourself against him, your clit throbbing as you were reminded how you were edged and denied by him earlier.

The high you'd missed out on was rapidly growing again, making you tremble in anticipation. Namjoon sensed your impending orgasm and quickly stopped you, forcing you back onto your knees.

Before you could voice your complaints at being denied again, you were roughly pinned down with Namjoon hovering over you. He leaned down, cupping your cheek as he pulled you in for a kiss.

You gasped into his mouth as you felt his cock at your entrance. You could distantly register the crinkle of a condom wrapper but were too absorbed in the kiss to think about it.

You both froze, eyes locking as he sunk into your tight cunt, your walls squeezing him so perfectly that it made his lashes flutter. Neither of you wanted to wait, you arched your hips, grinding down on him until he pulled back.

When he sunk into you completely and you cried out when he found your sweet spot with practiced ease.

"Holy shit," you whined, clinging to his shirt as he focused on hitting that spot.

"Feel good?" he asked, a cocky smirk on his face when you nodded, "Think I know how to use my cock?"

"Fuck, yes," you panted, losing your grip on him when he suddenly sat back on his knees.

He gripped you beneath your knees and pinned them to your chest. You were left deliciously exposed and the angle allowed him to hit your spot even better. The orgasm you continued to be denied was growing once again.

Sweat caused Namjoon's hair to cling to his forehead and there was a dark glaze in his eyes as he watched the way you hungrily took him in. Your cunt was creaming wet as you gushed on him, painfully close to cumming but unable to without him touching your clit.

He grinned as you whined, dangling so close to the edge, he kept building you up but never let you fall over. The desperate way you ground against him made his cock throb, close to his own orgasm.

It turned him on, having such control over you. Knowing that he was the only one who could make you cum in this moment.

"Please, please make me cum, Joon..." you practically sobbed.

The nickname took him by surprise, throwing him off guard and it pushed him over the edge. You whined when he stilled, feeling the way his cock was throbbing in the throws of his orgasm, the lovely little groan he gave as pleasure coursed through his body.

He pulled out, watching the way you trembled. The denial was painful, leaving you with teary eyes and pouting lips.

Suddenly, he was sinking two fingers into your entrance and there was the hot feeling of his tongue on your clit. Your hands flew down to grip his hair. He pumped his fingers upwards, hitting your spot as he sucked your bud into his mouth.

Your walls fluttered and tightened around him with your high. Your whole body tensed before you were cumming. He groaned, releasing your clit from his lips but flattening his tongue against it as it pulsed in time to your orgasm.

You were crying out, the orgasm that had been denied several times being one of the most powerful you'd ever experienced.

Before long, you were whining in overstimulation until he finally pulled his fingers from your cunt. Giving you a final lick to your clit, enjoying the way it made your body jolt, he pulled away.

He brought his cum soaked fingers to his lips, meeting your gaze as he took them into his mouth. Your squeezed your thighs together at the way he moaned at your taste, swirling his tongue around the digits until he deemed them clean enough.

Then, he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours — letting you barely taste yourself.

The two of you were panting, worn out from the intense session.

"We should get cleaned up," he breathed, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

"Yeah," you nodded, letting him pull you up and lead you to the bathroom.

He closed the door and began to strip. The only thing you had to do was push your skirt down until you were completely nude.

"I've...never done that before," he suddenly said as you both stepped beneath the rainhead shower, hot water pouring over you both.

"Done what?" you asked, smoothing your hands over you skin to quell the goosebumps.

"Used my...mouth," he mumbled before quickly shaking his head, "I-I mean I've eaten girls out before, I've had girlfriends obviously but...I've never done it with a client."

"Oh..." you hummed, meeting his gaze. He seemed almost nervous, "Th-Thanks...for doing it with me, I guess?"

He chuckled, nervously reaching up to comb his now wet hair back, "Don't take this the wrong way but...I really don't know why I did it. I just...had this overwhelming need to taste you..."

The confession send a shiver down your spine and you bit your lip, "And...was it up to your standards."

He grinned, stepping forward until he was towering over you, "Exceeded them."

He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, sighing into the kiss. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he pulled you closer to him.

"I want to do it again," he mumbled, reaching behind him to shut the water off.

"Wh—!" you were cut off by him suddenly picking you up. Clinging to him, you were paranoid he would drop you but before you could enjoy being in his arms, he was tossing you onto the bed.

Neither of you cared you were soaking wet from the shower, he spread your legs and dropped to his knees at the edge of the bed. He was perfect height to slide his tongue through your folds, making you sigh. You were still sensitive and eagerly spread your legs for more.

He was good with his tongue, letting his tongue find its way into your entrance — hot and wet. Mouthing at your clit, he swirled his tongue around the bud, enjoying the way you whined at the stimulation. Reaching down, you ran your fingers through his wet hair and tugged.

Namjoon was in heaven, the taste of you sweet juices on his tongue going straight to his cock. It was maddening how you had such a strong effect on him.

Wrapping his arms around your thighs, he slid his tongue between your folds with a moan. He took your clit into his mouth, the tip of his tongue flicking lightly to make your thighs jump.

"I'm gonna cum..." you whined, arching your back as you abandoned your hold on his hair in favor of the sheets.

"Cum," he urged, never stopping his tongue on your clit, even as you arched and let out a low moan. You trembled in his hold and gasped, clamping your thighs around his head to stop him when it quickly turned into overstimulation.

He stood up, eagerly crawling onto the bed, meeting your lips for yet another feverish kiss. Reaching down, you wrapped your hand around his hardened shaft, pumping it a few times until he moaned and pulled away.

"Ride me?" he breathed, making your heart skip a beat.

You nodded, the two of you moving effortlessly together until you were positioned above his cock.

"C-Condom?" you asked, remembering how he had gotten one earlier.

"Fuck..." he dropped his head back, eyes following your wetness as it dripped onto the head of his cock, "I...You can say no but...I don't fucking want one."

"Me either," you confessed, prodding the very tip of him at your entrance.

"I trust you're clean?" he asked, watching you nod though he was fully aware that you could be lying, "Fuck, take me in, baby."

You did so without hesitation, the two of you groaning as you sunk down on him — walls stretching to accommodate his thick length. You rolled your hips against him, grinding your sensitive clit against his pelvic bone. Sighing in pleasure, you pulled yourself almost completely off before dropping back down.

Namjoon /whimpered/, gripping your hips as you eagerly began to ride him. You reached up, pinching your own nipples as you effortlessly moved. Your walls spasmed and clenched around him, the feeling of him stuffing you full intoxicating.

"Th-This is so fucking reckless," he choked out, knocking your hand away to cup one of your breasts, "I never...do it bare but fuck...I've never wanted it more."

"Y-You feel so good..." you whined, resting your hands against his chest for more leverage.

"That's it, good girl," he praised, pinching your nipple to make you cry out.

You could feel him throb inside you, obviously close. Your wetness coated his cock, dripping down his shaft to his balls. The fact you got so wet for him only turned him on more. He tightened his grip on you, urging you to quicken your pace.

You were more then happy to oblige, leaning down to pull him into yet another kiss as you rode him. Your thighs were burning, sore, but there was nothing in the world that could stop you in that moment.

"Gotta feel you cum around me," he panted, urging you to sit back up. You leaned back, putting your weight on his thighs.

"Please," you begged, biting your lip.

He watched the way your breasts bounced in time to your movements. He brought his thumb to his mouth, wetting the pad of it with a quick lick before pressing it against your little clit. Your eyes rolled back and he could feel you clench tighter around him, your mouth falling open in a silent moan.

"Cum on my cock, babygirl," he ground out, clenching his teeth to hold back his own orgasm, "Come on, do it for me, baby."

With a final, exuberant cry, you were cumming. Your walls spasmed and you trembled above him, nails digging into his thighs. He didn't mind, the sting only adding to the pleasure.

"Fuck, where can I cum?" he asked, voice tight was he forced himself to stop from blowing his load inside you.

"Inside, please, cum inside," you begged, resuming rolling your hips against him even though you were painfully sensitive from your own orgasm.

Namjoon let out a loud groan, "Fuck," as he came. His grip on your hips tightened as you felt the hot rush of his cum filling you up. It dripped from inside you, running down his shaft and making a mess but neither of you minded.

His hissed, "Stop, stop," until you stopped moving.

The two of you sat for several long minutes until you finally pulled off of him. His cum gushed out further but you only laid beside him, uncaring. He wrapped you up in his arms, and kissed the top of your head.

"I can't believe I did that..." he said, an almost gleeful chuckle escaping his lips.

"Y-You don't ever do it bare with...clients?" the word rolled awkwardly off your tongue.

He nodded, "It's not technically against policy but...it's urged. Some of the other guys order STD tests before a meeting so they can go bare but...I don't usually."

"Then why with me?" you asked, looking up at him through your lashes.

He was quiet for a moment, eyes analyzing your face, "I don't know. I think I'm addicted to you."

You were surprised by his words, eyes widening. He gave you a small smile and urged you to lay your head back down.

With his heartbeat pounding against his chest, you couldn't help but wonder what would happen when the 24 hours were up.

[thewickedmerman]

Lola Bunny Tier List

This is my rankings of the different versions of Lola Bunny. The versions I chose to rank are Space Jam, the DC comics, Tweety's Highflying Adventure, Baby Looney Tunes, Dating Do's and Don'ts, Loonatics Unleashed (Yes, I am aware it's not actually Lola but it's still a variation of her), The Looney Tunes Show, Rabbits Run, New Looney Tunes (Formally known as Wabbit), and Space Jam: A New Legacy.

1.DC Comics- This version of Lola is absolutely the most PERFECT version of Lola that there is. She's smart, strong, competent, independent, and feisty but is able to get into wacky situations like a traditional Looney Tune. She's a pizza delivery girl for mythical creatures, ancient spirits, and deities, which is awesome and has a lot of comedic potential that they take full advantage of. She shows that she can hold her own as a Looney Tune without having to rely on the other Looney Tunes to make her story work. She's sassy, witty, hot-headed, vindictive, resourceful, clever, can take a beating, and is just everything you want in a great female Looney Tune and a great Looney Tune in general. I'd love to see animated shorts based on the comics.

2.Space Jam: A New Legacy- I was very skeptical about this when I learned that out of nowhere at the last minute they replaced Kath Soucie with Zendaya, who is a TERRIBLE actress in my opinion. However, Zendaya did surprise me by actually giving a good performance, for once. She wasn't monotoned, wooden, or stale but full of energy, genuine emotion, and showing personality. This version of Lola takes full advantage of Lola by fleshing her out more and making her more important to the plot than she was in the original Space Jam. She's really awesome and a lot like her DC comic book version. The only thing holding her back is that Zendaya voices her. I'm sorry but the fact that Kath Soucie was going to voice her but they just out of nowhere screwed her over in favor of a big named (And OVERRATED) celebrity really leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

3.New Looney Tune- This is pretty much just like her DC comic book version where she is smart, competent, strong, and independent but is able to be in wacky situations. The episode Lola Rider is amazing and shows her full potential being shown. Kath Soucie even returned to voice her, showing off her versatility. The art style is terrible but this is a very faithful and well-done version of Lola. However, she's not higher because of two things. The first being she's only in three episodes, one of which is only for one minute. In her third and final appearance, she acts like a major fangirl that is kind of clueless, which seems out of character. However, I chalk that up to Lola just being such a big sports fan that when she's near someone she's a big fan of, she loses her senses in excitement.

4.Loonatics Unleashed- An underrated and overly hated show that is a lot of fun. Lola's descendant, Lexi Bunny, is the best part of the show because of her strong, smart, fun, sassy, and badass personality. Her personality is fleshed out and despite being the only girl never feels like she's just there to be the token chick but rather an essential member of the team. She's even second in command to Ace, Bugs Bunny's descendant. I really love her sass and how she carries herself in all situations whether mellow or dangerous. I find her interactions with Daffy Duck's descendant, Danger Duck. They have very much a sibling relationship where she never misses an opportunity to call him out on his crap, not to mention put him in his place when he does something to make her upset. I feel like this is what Lola and Daffy's interactions would be like, which I wish we would see more of with the actual Lola and Daffy.

5.Space Jam- The original Lola Bunny, who is awesome. I love her catchphrase, "Don't ever call me doll" and I wish that it would've stayed her catchphrase in later versions of Lola. She's smart, strong, feisty, has great expressions, is self-reliant, and never lets people underestimate her simply for being an attractive female. She's a wonderful character but she isn't very well written. She has less than 4 minutes of screen time in the whole movie, speaking and non-speaking. That makes her not as fleshed out as she could've been. They should've given her more to do and more of a role in the film. Not to mention make her a bit more looney like she would be in the comics. I feel like they should've modeled her personality a little bit more like Babs Bunny from Tiny Toon Adventures (Yes, Babs Bunny actually came before Lola).

6.Baby Looney Tunes- The same Lola we know and love but as a baby. She's still smart, strong, stands up for herself, is creative, feisty, caring, and maintains her amazing athletic skills. She's great but her being a baby does limit her.

7.Tweety's Highflying Adventure- This is just a cameo with her as a weather girl. She's cool and all but there's not much to judge because of how it's less than a minute.

8.Rabbits Run- This version of Lola is VERY different from the Lola that is normally shown in media. She's more of an airhead because of how she's based on The Looney Tunes Show version of Lola. So I should really hate this version but she was actually okay. She wasn't a brainless, man-obsessed, dumb blonde stereotype and actually had some independence and goals that didn't revolve around a man or just change out of nowhere. On her own, she's an entertaining character but she's still just NOT Lola.

9.Dating Do's and Don'ts- This version has no lines other than giggling like a dumb teenage valley girl stereotype. This really isn't anything like Lola and is just so out of character.

10.The Looney Tunes Show- I absolutely DESPISE this version of Lola. They took an already established character that was smart, competent, independent, self-reliant, and strong and turned her into the polar opposite of who she was. They made her a scatterbrained, man-obsessed, dumb blonde stereotype that never shuts up. This is bad fanfic levels of terrible character writing. The creators of the show actually said they never saw Space Jam or anything else Lola appeared in, which just shows how terribly written this character is. I respect people's opinions but saying this version of Lola is the best is just really insulting to the character, to women, and to quality writing. Just let this version DIE and never be allowed to see the light of day EVER again.

[candlewaxandp0lar0ids]

I'm back

Omg! That was like a breath of fresh air!

“Don’t—” He stops himself to let out an annoyed growl. “Don’t do that.” Then he averts his eyes. “Please.”

he said please! HE SAID PLEASE!!! like omg, he actually said it! Woah

"I-m not Anna" - bruh, i just wanna give him a hug!

The fact that the OC starts to acknowledge the emotions he makes her feel it's something!!!

He is trusting her! That’s some real character development right there. Please, i wanna konw what Yoongi thinks! Wanna read his point of view when the OC and JK are interacting! The fact that he is a Hybrid means he must see some changes in their body language, mostly Jungkook. I want to find out how he reacts when the OC enters in a room, when she speaks, how does he smell? i need to read how he slips when she is there, how does she affects him! And obviously, we need Yoongi's pov on our main character. Does he likes her? Probably not. Is he impressed? Maybe? I just think it would be such a informative chapter :)))

Quick question

Are the other members gonna show up? Maybe to spice the situation a lil bit? Imagine another hybrid taking a liking in Y/N 😏 Just saying yk? =)))A person with flilrty personality =))) like the situation with Fred but this person to actually try to get to konw her and maybe start being friends with her. That would probably be impossible, her being her, but yk... hypothetically speaking.

also, hypothetically speaking, Jimin would be an ideal candidate for the position :))))

don't mind me, i'm just ranting here everything that goes through my head rn 😅

Agh! I can't wait for the next chapter already! This is such a good story! Your writing is phenomenal and your characters even more!

♡ ♡ ♡

So happy you’re enjoying the development!! It’s one of my favorite things to plan for, the small ways in which things are changing between them 😁

An Interlude chapter with Yoongi is definitely something I’m considering doing! But to give you an idea, Yoongi finds Jungkook and OC… annoying lol. He’s not super sensitive to smells since he’s a snake hybrid, but he is sensitive to pheromones and generally he’s very observant (though that has more to do with him being a killer than a hybrid). He’s definitely aware of the fact that Jungkook’s attracted to OC and he was probably happy that the two weren’t seeing each other anymore because God he’s not getting paid enough for this. OC also puts him off a little in general because he can tell that she hides a lot but he still can't figure out what she really thinks.

For the other members, it's a little complicated! Not to get too into it, but Taehyung and Hoseok could make cameos, and Jimin is actually really the one who is most likely to have a more significant appearance ahah, though he would have a very different role from that because of the situation he’s in (being cryptic I know but I don’t want to spoil in case he does end up appearing lol). But the main issue here is that OC would never give the time of day to someone who isn’t in the Organization for a number of reasons, and she would never romantically consider someone who is in the Organization (with one exception of course 👀). If someone was nice to her she would assume they’re naive, if they’re flirty she’d think they’re manipulative. She’s honestly at a point where she’s cannot see someone taking an interest in her for any other reason which has a lot to do with her family essentially reducing her to her function for years but this is a conversation for another time. Like the fact that she’s even starting to see Jungkook in a different light is a result of an almost miraculous combination of circumstances lol.

I hope this is a good answer? I always get worried because I could talk about these characters for hours but I don't want to spoil the fun for future chapters 😬 But I love LOVE getting your long asks in my inbox!!

Thank you for the ask 💜

[monstersandmaw]

Male drider x reader (sfw) - Part One

Edit which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

It’s Wednesday, so that means it’s ‘new’ story time. This one has been up on Patreon for a week already, and Part Two has gone live today already.

Content: Female reader takes up a job as an archivist in a creepy old house and is surprised to find that 'the master' refuses to be seen at all... Very much ‘Beauty and the Beast’ inspired, if you will. Cameos from Sarrigan Silkfoot and Damien the orc chocolatier (Tumblr links). Wordcount: 2464

EDIT: my favourite comment from patrons on part two has been ‘cranky spooder’

WANTED: Librarian to take on an extensive, re-cataloguing project in a large, private collection. Diverse collection includes books, clay and stone tablets, scrolls, parchments, and various other media.  Applicant must be willing to live on-site in a relatively remote location, and archival qualifications preferred, though demonstrable experience may suffice. Board and lodging will be provided throughout the duration of the project. It is anticipated that it should take between four to six months. More details to be supplied to the candidate following a successful interview.

---

You stared at the strange advert in the paper and let your teeth sink slowly into your lip, a frown playing across your forehead. This was… honestly right up your street in terms of experience and qualifications. In that moment, sitting at the table in your favourite coffee shop in Starfall Springs while a summer rain shower hammered down outside, you wanted to wave that advertisement in the face of everyone who’d said a postgraduate qualification in archive and records management would render you essentially bankrupt and completely unemployable. If this was anything to go by, they were only half wrong. You were practically bankrupt. Well, up to your eyeballs in student loans at least.

“Fuck it,” you hissed under your breath, ripping out the advert and getting out your phone. There was no email contact, but there was a number, and you saved it to your contacts in case you lost the little shred of newspaper, and decided to call as soon as you got home.

The phone wasn’t exactly your preferred method of communication, but it was all you had, so after psyching yourself up, you punched in the numbers and paced about, waiting for someone to answer.

Abruptly, the dial tone cut off, and a crackling on the other end of the line announced that someone had picked up. “Hello…? I’m… I’m calling about the archivist’s role advertised in the Starfall Chronicle… I was hoping for a bit more information.”

“Oh,” came a reedy, thin voice. “Your qualifications?”

You told them and then waited for them to speak.

“Hmm. And your experience?”

You swallowed. “I… I helped the Starfall Museum in transferring their computer system from the manual catalogues…” you said, suddenly feeling like this was the interview already.

“Mmm. So your experience is not extensive then.”

It wasn’t a question, and you ground your teeth.

“Just how am I supposed to get this vast acreage of mythical experience if no one hires anyone without it? I can get you three stunning references from the museum curators and staff, as well as from my professors at university,” you said hotly. And instantly regretted it. “I’m sorry,” you added hastily. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Yes you did,” they chuckled, voice husky and fragile. “And you’re perfectly right. I think you might do well at this in fact.”

“I… what?”

Another soft snort. “What information would you like to know then?”

“Where is it, for a start?”

There was an uncomfortable pause, and you’d just been on the point of asking if they were still there when they spoke again. “There’s an old estate to the north of Starfall Springs.”

You frowned. You’d heard rumours as a child growing up here that there was some mad old nightmare creature who lived in the woods on the slopes of Starfall Mountain and came down into the town on the new moon snatched naughty children from their beds, but you'd long dismissed it as nonsense to make kids behave. Still, it sent a tingle of apprehension down your spine.

“I’ve heard something of it,” you said carefully. “Not much.”

“Widowsweb Court,” the person said with reticence. “The estate dates back centuries, and the collection is in need of some care and attention. If you would be willing to live on the estate in your own, self-contained apartment, with meals provided in the kitchens of the main house should you wish it, then I think you sound like the right person for the role.”

“When would you want me to start?”

In the end, it took you less than a month to get everything organised.

On the evening of your departure, you and your friends celebrated on Temple Meadow, the huge swathe of public park surrounding the town’s religious building, and as you lay back on the blanket, staring up at the sky and surrounded by friends, you saw a shooting star sear through the canopy of glimmering stars above.

Sarrigan Silkfoot and his partner lay curled up nearby, and Damien, the huge orc from the chocolaterie in town, had tucked his own partner’s head against the crook of his colossal shoulder. A thought occurred to you as you watched Sarrigan toss his head back and laugh at a joke whispered in his ear, and you sat up.

“Sarrigan?”

“Mm?” he hummed, laughter still dancing in his eight red eyes.

“I know you don’t talk much about your family, but do you know of any other estates around here?” You hadn’t mentioned exactly where the job was, just that it wasn’t in Starfall Springs itself.

“Why d’you ask?”

“The place I’m going to for this job is called Widowsweb Court, but the library said it’s been abandoned for years, and I couldn’t find much about it on the internet either.”

He went still at the mention of its name. “Widowsweb you say?”

You nodded and realised you had the attention of everyone in your small group.

Sarrigan straightened and tucked a strand of his long, black hair behind a tapering ear. “It used to be part of the Silkfoot family holdings… way, way back,” he began, gesturing with his hand. “But about four hundred years or so ago, there was a disagreement between the then patriarch of the family and the dowager, his mother. He essentially annexed the property and disowned the entire estate. He could have sold it, but apparently he felt just guilty enough not to turf her out onto the street…”

“Why? I mean, what did she do?”

Sarrigan shrugged. “No idea. Knowing my family, it probably had something to do with anti-human sentiments…” he winked at you and added, “We really didn’t like your kind invading these parts…”

“We’re not exactly a majority round here,” his partner said, thwacking him in the belly with the back of a hand.

“True,” he said before turning back to you. “But you’re saying someone actually lives there?”

Damien leaned across and grinned, “Could be a long-lost relative, Sarrigan!”

“Well, whoever my employer is, they have a huge collection to reorganise, so I’m in.”

“You don’t even know the name of the person who’s paying you?” Damien gawped.

You shook your head. “A Mr. Ambleside is taking care of that. He’s apparently employed to keep the estate running and such… He’s the one who interviewed me.”

“Ambleside is an old family name from these parts,” Sarrigan said thoughtfully. “Well, you make sure you keep in touch, hmm?”

“Will do,” you nodded.

The only problem was, you discovered after Damien had dropped you off and fussed endlessly over you outside the tumble-down gates of the estate, that there was no phone reception way out here. Not even a single, sputtering bar.

As the tail lights of Damien’s truck disappeared, you pushed the iron gates open, the hinges screeching in protest loud enough that you thought your arrival would be announced all the way back down into Starfall, a two hour drive away.

Heaving your huge suitcase into your hand, you began to struggle down the driveway. Overgrown, potholed, and muddy, the road was barely even a road after the recent rain.

Ancient, thick-boled trees hung over the drive, branches meeting in the middle like lovers fingers interlaced, and after half a mile of walking, you stopped, exhausted, and sat on your suitcase. You’d made it out of the small, gnarled copse that bordered the edge of the estate, but the parklands that lay beyond seemed to stretch for miles. The thought of hauling your sizable suitcase all that way made you feel faint, especially in the stifling sun. There was at least a cooling breeze that lifted your hair and caressed your skin, but honestly, it was hopeless.

Eventually, after perhaps a quarter of an hour of sitting there, getting warmer and thirstier, and growing no less exhausted, you caught sight of a movement on the driveway. Squinting, you made out a horse and cart, and sitting atop the driver’s bench, a figure with a wide-brimmed hat on their head.

The closer they got, the more you were able to make out, and when they were perhaps fifty yards away, you stood up. They looked to be an elderly firbolg, with warm-brown skin and flaming red hair and beard.

The horse was an elderly, bony looking thing, and the cart just as rickety, but the firbolg drew to a halt beside you and barked your name in a familiar voice.

“Mr. Ambleside?”

“Yes, that’s me,” he said. “You’re early.”

“A little, yes.”

“Well, climb in. Do you need a hand with your bag?”

You looked at it, and then at the height of the cart bed. “If you wouldn't mind?”

He nodded and climbed carefully down. You weren’t sure how old firbolgs got, but he didn’t exactly look young. Having said that, he hauled your bag into the back like it weighed nothing at all and then helped you up to sit beside him on the bench before turning the cart around and heading back up the driveway.

The house itself was nestled in a clump of massive elm trees, masked from view until almost the last moment. “I’ll show you to the cottage, and then you can come up to the house for some refreshments. You’ll start work tomorrow at nine.”

You nodded, not wanting to rock the proverbial boat. “Is it just you and… er… your - our - employer here then?” you ventured after a few minutes of silence with only the rumbling of the cart for background noise.

He shrugged. ��My boy works here in the grounds too, and there’s Chiara who tends to the household. Other than that, yes. And the master, of course.”

“Will I be meeting him?” you asked.

Mr. Ambleside looked positively scandalised. “Oh heavens no!” he gasped.

“Right. I see. He’s… unwell?”

That drew a deep scowl from the firbolg’s thick, heavy brows. “No,” he said, but it sounded like he was buying time. “No, he’s not unwell. He just… prefers a solitary life. You are to enter through the back door to the kitchens, proceed up the route to the library that I will show you, and return the same way when you’re done, is that clear?”

“Perfectly,” you said, wondering just what you’d got yourself into.

“If you need to use a telephone at any time, you may use the landline in my office.”

That news came as a huge relief, and you clung to it as you were shown the slightly dusty stable-house apartment just across the courtyard from the main house. Widowsweb Court was a massive country pile, with filigree stonework and steeply pitched, slate-tiled roofs, and it wouldn’t have looked out of place in a horror movie.

Your first week passed without incident. You assessed the vast, rambling collection, and saw immediately that it would definitely take much, much longer than the six months for which you’d been contracted to get to grips with it and get it into a decent order. Even if you had a team of ten strong people to help you, there was no way you could reorganise all the shelves in the cavernous library. It was as large and as varied as any national archives, and contained books and scrolls on everything from ancient magic to the development of medicine in various countries across the world.

Travel journals were rammed in next to tomes on mathematics, poetry beside animal husbandry, and gemology beside botany. There was no scheme to it, and after two weeks, you nearly had a complete breakdown.

Covered in dust and suddenly vastly overwhelmed by the looming, dark bookshelves, you simply sat down on the floorboards and let your head fall forwards into your hands. This was a gargantuan effort for one person to tackle alone.

Something rattled in the stacks and you gasped, sitting up straight, heart hammering. “Hello?”

Silence followed, but after only another few seconds, you heard a skittering of limbs and the slam of a door. Except, there was only one doorway to the library, and it was behind you.

Standing somewhat shakily, you swiped your tears away and paced steadily along the floorboards towards the source of the noise. When you found nothing but dusty stacks and silent  books, you swallowed and turned away.

At supper that night, you ate with Mr. Ambleside and his son, Naril, who was perhaps a year or two younger than you, and looked very much like his father. Noticing your pensive expression, he leaned over and asked in his softly-articulated purr if everything was alright. “You look… I don’t know… Did something happen?”

You sighed, nudging food listlessly around your plate. “I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the project today…” you said. “And… I heard a noise in the library that startled me, that’s all.”

The two of them exchanged looks and then Mr. Ambleside said, “That was probably the master…”

“But I thought…” you began, though you hardly knew what you thought about the mysterious person who supposedly ran the estate, pulling all the strings from a hidden room in the old house and never revealing himself to anyone.

“Why do you think he wanted the collection organised?” Mr. Ambleside chuckled into his potatoes. “He’s an avid reader, but doesn’t have the patience to do it himself. Plus, he doesn’t see too well any more.”

“Oh,” you breathed. “All those books, and… that seems so cruel… Is he very old?”

Naril shook his head. “No, he’s maybe ten years or so older than us? Chiara reads to him in the evenings if his eyes get tired, and —”

“—Naril, that’s enough,” Mr. Ambleside barked, and Naril’s fluffy ears tucked right back against his head. “We do not gossip about the master.”

“Sorry, father,” he said, shooting you a look that conveyed a fair bit. ‘If you want to know more, ask me when he’s not around’ it said.

For another week, your recataloguing was left undisturbed by noises, but after four weeks of being at Widowsweb Court, you encountered ‘the master’ for the first time, and he was nothing like you’d thought he would be, though perhaps the name of the place should have given it away.

Part Two --->

To be continued next Wednesday... Part Two is currently up on Patreon so you can read it right now on the Pixies and Goblins Tier.

___

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[tsukikoayanosuke]

(Temporary) Final Thoughts of Pomefiore Arc

Since this is my official first-time experience of playing this 'live', I haven't read the translation fully. So, I'll probably re-doing this after reading/watching everything.

Essentially what I like and what I'm mixed with.

I will first address something that has been bugging me since early update. And that's about the delay. Now, I'm not going to talk about the actual delay, but the reaction. Lots of people complaining and blaming the staff and just... Guys, give them some slack. Do you know what happens when you rush production? You'll get something like Frozen 2, where they had to edit so much stuff in just 6 months before the release date because of the failed test screening. As someone who once made an RPG, coding is hard, especially something massive like Twisted-Wonderland. Sitting in front of your computer for six hours straight, coding and beta testing over and over, making the OST, scripting, voice acting. This is a massive group project and it can't be rushed even if you want to unless you want it to be glitching so bad like the Ghost Marriage incident (or was it Fairy Gala?)

Especially during this pandemic and all its protocol. My parents are professors and even they don't go to campus every day, instead, they use zoom to teach and for work meetings. I barely go out from my own house except for physical therapy and volunteer work, which usually once in two weeks because we take turns. Are you saying the staff must risk their health just for a gacha game? Guys, they might be a professional, but they are still human. Cut some slacks. Be grateful we haven't gone into absolute development hell. Yes, the Halloween event was big, but Pomefiore Arc is part of the Main Story, of course, they will give extra care compare to filler event (which might be created in the first place to give them more time in Pomefiore Arc development, which is why we don't get any Christmas event)

On to the story, I don't know how to rate the scale, but it might be slightly lower than Scarabia Arc. Can you really compare a school talent show to a rebellion? Also, in paper, this should be more light-hearted than the four arcs before it.

However, the lack of stake didn't reduce the content quality. From what I remember, there is not a single chapter that can be count as filler, from Yuu's befriending Mickey, the understandably training arc, Vil's unique magic, Deuce and Epel bonding, and the actual VDC (but I do think the tour around the campus with Riddle and Trey was a bit boring)

Also, slight worldbuilding. We finally see Sage Island in its full glory and found out RSA is a freaking Disney Castle and on the same island!

This also gives us possibly the longest rhythm game, plus chibi Jamil rapping. There's just a lot of singing in this episode, which is understandable.

I appreciate Yuu finally taking notice of the Great Seven dreams, which I hope we can get more of this and actually do something with this and not just Disney Movie references, which later in the Episode shows Yuu sort of connecting their dream and Vil's poisoning attempt.

Speaking of Vil, he's a fantastic character. Okay, I aware that we can't like all characters, there will be haters anywhere. But it seems like Vil is hated a lot because he's 'arrogant' and 'only care about beauty'. Guys, he's not Jeffery Star. This Episode shows Vil as someone much more: a hard worker, passionate in acting, and a great teacher. I always see Vil as the more mature of the cast, the mentor. And he's also basically bullied when he was a child. "TV told me how to feel" as they would say, and children believe everything they saw on TV, so of course they would see Vil as the villain. It's also interesting, as someone mentioned earlier, how Vil is a foil to Leona, where Leona just gave up, Vil doesn't stop and keep striving, and that's an admirable trait. He just wants to get the protagonist role for once and break the norm.

Another character that I like is the new combo, DeuPel (Deuce and Epel). I should've known that they will be bad boy buddies with one trying to get away from the past, while the other wants to embrace it but can't at the moment. The shouting moment at the beach is wonderful despite I haven't read the full translation. Separately, Deuce shines so much with his willingness to learn. Meanwhile, Epel finally respecting Vil and all the training is probably one of the best character development so far.

Why one of the best? Because Kalim has great character development. How he grows to be more mature in this Episode really warms my heart. Again, I need to read/watch the translation to appreciate this more. The way he reassures Jamil to take the part as the main singer, but at the same time work hard to maybe get a spot as well is great.

Sadly, because Epel taking the spotlight as Deuce's partner, Ace was sort of underused. Same as Jamil, but sort of worse since he overblotted in the last chapter but has less development than Kalim. Rook also might seem doesn't do much, but he's more as Vil's support, which is why I kinda forgive him.

But, the highlight of this is probably our very own Snow White, Neige Blanche. Can I just say how much I appreciate that Niege doesn't have a dark side? He's a sweet boy and I just really appreciate that considering we're surrounded by a cast of not so great people, it's kinda refreshing to see someone just pure. The dwarves' design are also adorable, can't really say more since we haven't seen them in depth.

And since this is a School Festival Arc, all 22 students have a cameo. I know some people who are thrilled to finally Idia in the main story and to meed Che'nya again since Episode 1.

Unfortunately, Crowley proved to be useless again. When he finally appears in this final update I screamed: "SIR! Where were you?!"

Let's go back with Rook. What he did in the last update was definitely shocking. I knew something is wrong when he smiles after Vil's monologing. So this is the only time through the update I read the translation. And I sort of get it.

So, Rook and Vil's relationship should mirror how the Evil Queen and the huntsman. I mentioned above that Rook is Vil's support and I mean that. Rook and Vil's relationship is another level of prefect and their vice. It's just fascinating. Rook is just as reliable as Jade, but also not afraid to against his perfect like Jamil, also is not afraid to say something against his perfect, unlike Trey.

And it shows in this finale. Rook is always praising the beauty of things and Vil's hard works is truly a sight, but the way Vil unable to believe in himself, it clouded what is supposed to be something truly beautiful. Compare to Neige who is basically Snow White, the purest Disney Princess, there's just no way Rook would not pick RSA. I admit, I was pissed when RSA win, but when Rook started talking, I knew there was something more. And I finally found it. Rook's message is basically "believe in yourself", the most Disney-thing ever.

Saving the best (or worst) for last, I was terrified when Grim happened. We already guess that Grim is the same monster in the prologue, but I never thought it will happen so soon. The flashed of the monster and Yuu's carriage is also a point, but we have so little info that he can't pull a conclusion yet. Is this a timeloop? Is this a vision? This is the darkest ending we've gotten and I'm scared of what will happen.

Overall, Pomefiore Arc is an enjoyable Episode, definitely a step up emotionally. The cast are wonderful as always, the theme of hard work and believing in yourself are spot on, Vil's hero journey is great (I'll give more explanation soon). Great job, team.

[knives-out20]

The Impact Of The Intergalactic - David Bowie Opinion Essay - by Beck S.

This is an essay I wrote about the span of David Bowie's career. I wrote it for a summer school course I took last year (August 2021) for a course called History of Rock & Roll.

My teacher gave nice feedback after he marked it, talking about how it was an "Excellent paper. It charts Bowie's progress throughout his career well, and includes significant detail. I could really feel the passion you have about him throughout. In fact, there is *too much* detail! The paper was supposed to be 3 pages max, double-spaced. Still, this is a good problem to have; better too much than too little."

So...enjoy!!

From his early works like Hunky Dory, to Black Tie White Noise in the 1990’s and stretching over to Blackstar as his final album, David Bowie has rarely had a bad album or song- in my opinion. His career has had ups and downs, his musical creations ranging in the way he would pitch his voice and what instruments he would use, the people he would produce with, and the wild things he would say. Charting David Bowie’s development over time is in fact an interesting journey.

Early on in his dreamy career, Bowie would have done nearly anything- or in fact, anyone- to grow in the music world. Hopping from band to band (like The Velvet Underground), producer to producer, doing whatever he could do to get ‘in’ in the industry. His early albums weren’t taken very highly in their times- especially with the ‘man-dress’ he wore on the British release of his The Man Who Sold The World album. Although, this dress was only the start of the androgynous appearance he would soon be known for, over the course of his 5-decade-spanning career.

The 1970’s were strange, to say the least. He married Angela Bowie at the start of the decade, then welcomed their son Duncan Zowie Haywood Jones a year later. Bowie went on to be hopped up on cocaine. David donned the look of one of his famous personas, The Thin White Duke. The same persona with slicked-back ginger hair, a white button-up under a black waistcoat and paired with black dress pants. The same Duke who called Adolf Hitler one of the first ‘rock stars’ and gave off a lot of faschist energy. He said many statements he’d later apologize for and grow as a better man from, which is good- it’s better than standing by then, or even backing himself up and supporting them. David Bowie called that period the darkest days of his life, and blamed the crazy statements on his horrid addiction and deteriorating mental state. The late 1970’s were more favorable, seeing as it gave the world what was dubbed the Berlin Trilogy alongside Brian Eno and David’s personal friend, Iggy Pop. Made up of three of his albums: Low and Heroes (both in 1977) and Lodger (1978). He moved from Los Angeles to Switzerland, then to Berlin as a further decision to escape his addiction (the reason he moved away from LA in the first place). It was in Berlin, of course, where he wrote his famous song Heroes, about two lovers, one from East Berlin and one from West.

Speaking of Berlin, David Bowie performed near the west of the Berlin Wall in 1987; he played so loud that crowds gathered on the east to listen. At this time, Bowie had no idea he would be the beginning of the city’s soon-coming unifying. After his death in 2016, the German government thanked him for bringing the wall down and unifying a divided Germany.

Music isn’t all he is known for, though it is a majority. He also starred in movies from time to time. Being the titular man in The Man Who Fell To Earth in 1976, Jareth the moody goblin king in Jim Henson’s 1986 Labyrinth film (what is most likely his most famous role), Monte the barman in the 1991 movie The Linguini Incident, cameoing as himself in Zoolander (2001), Nikola Tesla in the 2006 movie The Prestige, and even Lord Royal Highness in Spongebob Squarepants’ Atlantis Squarepantis in 2007, among a few others. David Bowie dabbled in the art of acting, and was not that bad at it. He was good enough to gain a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, too. Sometimes it bends my mind that my first introduction to my all-time favourite musician was in a Spongebob Squarepants movie, back before I knew who he was, but David Bowie was never one to shy away from foreshadowing. At least one song from many of his albums would hint at the direction he’d go in for his next release. For example, his track Queen Bitch on Hunky Dory foreshadowed his soon-coming Ziggy Stardust. And the Diamond Dogs track 1984 actually hinted at the Philadelphian soul of Young Americans, which is a more famous song of his, which he went on to perform on The Cher Show with its host.

The 1990’s were certainly an experimental time for David Bowie. But to my knowledge, I think the 1990’s was a time for everyone. He married supermodel Iman some days after performing at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert, and released the album I named earlier, Black Tie White Noise. It is known to have had a prominent use of electronic instruments, as was his other 1990’s album, Earthling. The early 1990’s greeted David’s first real band since the Spiders From Mars, dubbed Tin Machine. They recorded three guitar-driven albums which received mixed reviews from the masses, but Bowie looks back at this period- as do I- with a certain fondness; “a glorious disaster” he called it, when talking to journalist Mick Brown. Tin Machine is a period I don’t listen to often, compared to his solo stuff, but I don’t press the skip button when it comes on.

Alas, the starman’s career drew to a close as the 2000s rolled in. David Bowie greeted the 2000’s with the birth of his and Iman’s daughter, the beautiful Alexandria Zahra Jones. After suffering a- strange, as it were- heart attack symptoms mid-song during a concert in 2004, he took a hiatus from his career. I say strange because given what I know, he was trying his best to stay healthy at the time. According to my special Rolling Stone edition magazine about David Bowie (released at the start of this year), he was on tour and performing in a really hot arena. But Bowie was sober, and had quit smoking. He was taking medication to lower his cholesterol, and worked out with a trainer. Bowie looked great, and yet he felt a pain in his shoulder and chest, along with a shortness for breath. A bodyguard rushed onstage to usher Bowie off of it, cutting the concert short. He only performed live once or twice after that point, but was set on never going live ever again. And he kept his word on that, unfortunately but also fortunately. Unfortunately, because David Bowie live would have been quite the experience- I wouldn’t know, personally. But fortunately, because I do not believe anyone needs a repeat of the 2004 Reality scare.

I am actually not too fond of speaking of his final years. Nobody really likes to speak of the last years of their idols’ life before their death, so it’s no surprise. Blackstar was David Bowie’s 25th and final album, recorded entirely in secret in New York alongside his long-time producer, Tony Visconti. The album's central theme lyrically is mortality, and seeing as Bowie was undergoing chemotherapy for his cancer at the time, I see it as his way of coping with his incoming death. His producer Tony Visconti called him a ‘canny bastard’, when he realized Bowie was essentially writing a farewell album. Every song on the album is what is considered a swan song, a swan song in question being a phrase for a final gesture of some sort before retirement or death. In this case, death. Over the course of recording the album, David Bowie’s chemotherapy had actually been working and he had an eerie optimism while recording. But by the time they shot the two music videos Blackstar and Lazarus, where he showed off the definite passage of time and cruelty of chemotherapy through sparse and gray hair with sagging skin, he knew his condition was terminal and that this would be a battle he would lose. Blackstar wasn’t the first album to have been made by a musician succumbing to a fatal illness, but in my opinion it is in fact the most beautiful. It’s jazzy, and elegant, showing how at peace he had become with dying.

Blackstar the album was released on January 8th, 2016. Also known as David Bowie’s 69th birthday. Two days later, David Bowie died at his Lafayette Street home on January 10th after living with liver cancer for up to 18 months. Beforehand, he had let it be known he did not want a funeral nor a burial, but rather that his body be cremated and the ashes to be scattered in Bali by his loved ones. His wish was received, and planet Earth was very much bluer and quieter without his colour and wonderful noise.

As I said earlier on, David Bowie’s career came with ups and downs. His mysteriously close relationship with Mick Jagger, his cross with famous underage groupie Lori Maddox, the births of his two talented children, his faschist bender in the 70’s, and final bang of Blackstar in his final year on earth. Through the highs and lows, his career and his music meant a lot to the quote-unquote misfits and freaks of the world, myself included. David Bowie turned and faced the strange, shouted “you’re not alone!” To those who felt the loneliest, he surely spent his career helping those who needed to be themselves, feel more freer and braver in doing so, no matter what they may be when they are themselves. He never went boring, he never went stale, he sang what he wanted and dressed how he pleased, and kept to his word on how much more to life there is when you’re just that; yourself. A year after David Bowie’s untimely passing, his son Duncan Jones accepted an award for British album of the year that was won by Blackstar at the 37th annual Brit Awards. When he accepted it, he made a speech about his father that I will leave here, and never forget. Seeing as it perfectly encapsulates David Bowie’ legacy, and the true meaning of his extraordinary career.

“I lost my dad last year, but I also became a dad. And, uhm, I was spending a lot of time- after getting over the shock- of trying to work out what would I want my son to know about his granddad? And I think it would be the same thing that most of my dad's fans have taken over the last 50 years. That he’s always been there supporting people who think they’re a little bit weird or a little bit strange, a little bit different, and he’s always been there for them. So...this award is for all the kooks, and all the people who make the kooks. Thanks, Brits, and thanks to his fans.” - Duncan Z. H. Jones (February 22 2017, at The O2 Arena in London.)

[deans-haunted-baby]

The Ones Left Behind

Alrighty time for some truth bombs. I’ve had almost a week to absorb the end of Supernatural and season 15 as a whole. And I think this is the moment where I need to throw in my two cents. For all intents and purposes I won’t go in-depth into 15x20 seeing as that conversation will just open up a whole other can of worms and I don’t need that headache. I have my reasons for being less than indifferent with how the Winchesters’ story concluded. So I won’t go there.

Instead I’ll be focusing all my energies on the unsatisfying conclusions of 4 particular characters. Two of which were main cast members (one that was on the show 12 years and one 4 years) while the other two (played by the same dude) were brought back after a decade long hiatus for a much-anticipated comeback only to be wasted and mangled unfairly by Dabb and his hack horde of a writing staff. Call this a follow up to my last post. If I sound bitter I am because these people don’t have a single clue on how to helm these characters, their relationships or their storylines 😠 Nor do they deserve them.

And yes I’m well aware of Kevin Tran, Rowena, Ketch and several others who got the shaft on this show. Those could be future posts for another time.

But I cannot stress this enough; ADAM MILLIGAN, JACK KLINE, MICHAEL AND CASTIEL ALL DESERVED FUCKING BETTER. There is no arguing these facts, none whatsoever. Not one of these characters deserved that exit to be the final chapter in their story. I won’t do an entire analysis of each character’s arc and role in the show as I’ve already done that in my rant about 15x19. But I will highlight how much season 15 royally screwed over these characters and tossed them aside like trash; as if none of them were ever part of/contributed anything to Sam and Dean’s history/world building of Supernatural’s universe.

*WARNING* This is going to get heated.

Before I dive into the heart of these issues I want to state this is not a “shipping post”. I don’t ship anyone on Supernatural, hopefully this blog has been pretty self-explanatory. So I have no arguments/opinions in those areas. I’ve been a fan of this series for 15 years because of the characters, the familial bonds and relationships formed between characters throughout its run. And I’m well-aware that the Winchesters are the lead protagonists of the show, no need to remind me. These are purely my own thoughts based what I’ve obtained from show canon. Let me just say I can’t get over just how much these writers contradicted and ignored what they put forth in the journeys of these four individuals. its a real headscratcher.

You mean to tell me that after TWELVE DAMN YEARS of Castiel being a rebellious warrior angel, searching for his own identity and meaning in life; making that promise to Kelly Kline about raising Jack as his own/risking his life for him. After sacrificing himself for his son a year ago, acknowledging he was satisfied with his role as a father which restored his faith; that it was all because of/for Dean Winchester? 

You mean to tell me that after Michael, THE PRINCE OF HEAVEN and PROTECTOR OF HUMANITY, was locked away in a cage with a human whom he emotionally bonded with for thousands of years (10 years our time); who was abandoned, betrayed and manipulated by his neglectful/abusive father. After choosing free will and aligning himself with TFW for humanity’s sake, just sided with the Earth’s destruction because his little brother called him names? 

You mean to tell me that Jack, A THREE YEAR OLD CHILD, who’s barely just beginning his life and spent his entire duration on the show wanting to be normal and not wanting to be special. Connecting and being integrated with humans; a child who’s biggest fear was outliving everyone he ever loved. Is suddenly ready to walk away from his family, his home and his teddy bear; to give up being a kid forever and run the universe?

You mean to tell me that Adam, SUPERNATURAL’S MOST INNOCENT CHARACTER and FORGOTTEN THIRD-WINCHESTER BROTHER, after being eaten by ghouls; pulled away from his mother out of Heaven, manipulated by angels, trapped in Hell for thousands of years because Sam and Dean left him there to rot. After coming back and helping his neglectful siblings save the world only to be ripped away from his best friend and THE ONLY OTHER PERSON who gave a damn about him; is sentenced to a life of loneliness, homelessness and turmoil until he dies and ends up in Hell where he’ll mostly be tortured and turned into a demon?

NO. I DO NOT AND WILL NEVER ACCEPT THIS BULLSHIT! 

Season 15 not only manages to contradict itself where these characters are concerned (while assassinating them before the final curtain). But the writers deliberately discarded them before giving us that *sarcasm inserted* epic solo-Winchester conclusion. Regardless of how you feel about Adam, Castiel, Jack or Michael, ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS are connected Sam and Dean’s story and part of Supernatural. And when you throw them away like they mean nothing, you’re essentially throwing away a part of the show’s history. You’re ignoring 15 years worth of story building. 

As I said I’m not going to go into 15x20 for reasons, it doesn’t offend me as much as what was done before that finale. Because I think those other show exits really affect 15x20 even worse than people realize. You want to know why, I’ll explain.

Lets start off with Castiel and Jack, OH BOY! We know where they end up; running Heaven and the Earth together which is all fine and dandy. I love my Dadstiel father/son duo being an endgame family unit. But here in lies the problem, we never saw it. Not even a cameo. And technically their onscreen storyline ends at 15x18 and 15x19 which is an ugly, anti-climatic bookend to an incredibly deep relationship that had 4 years of development. First you have Castiel who completely forgets why he made that deal with the Empty to begin with. HIS FUCKING SON. Not to mention it wasn’t about true happiness it was about giving himself permission to be happy; there is a difference. And then you have Jack wandering around next episode, vacuuming up power cause suddenly he’s a machine now, acting like he doesn’t give a shit over losing his dad to an entity HE’S BEEN DREADING ABOUT FOR A FUCKING YEAR. 

Towards the end of season 15 I noticed neither of these characters were acting like themselves. Their motivations, their personalities and strong ties to one another had mysteriously dissolved. Castiel became less concerned about the danger his son was facing after 15x15 (what the hell was that in 15x17?) and more about speaking when spoken to by either Sam or Dean. Does he know how Dean truly feels about Jack; proclaiming the child is “not family”? I doubt the in-character version of him would let Jack leave with Dean after that insult. Castiel’s not even worried whether or not his son is alive or safe before he makes the big confession later. And for some reason Jack (who’d become heavily suicidal) was more concerned with clinging to the Winchesters, willing to die for them, instead focusing on himself and the one person who’s shown him nothing but unconditional love and given him strength since birth. Both of these characters are canonically depressed and suffer from low self-esteem that was never resolved which makes me furious. 

When Chuck killed Jack at the end of season 14, this devastated Castiel in the first half of season 15. He actually got to grieve that loss throughout the episodes and deal with his anger over it, allowing the audience to anticipate the day they’d be reunited one last time. This part of Castiel’s S15 arc also ironically mirrors Jack’s S13 arc of mourning Castiel’s death until resurrecting him. And when this son finally returned to his father, who got to rescue him, it was such a poignant moment between the two. It was a cathartic payoff after witnessing Castiel in so much pain over Jack. There was so much building up between that Dadstiel reunion in 15x11 and the Empty’s pact in 14x08; this was suppose to be a tragic yet pivotal plot-point in both Jack and Castiel’s stories. And with SPN wrapping up we all expected something BIG. Yet somehow the writers retconned the whole thing by making it all about Dean, which is such a gross disservice to these characters and 4 years of storytelling.

For instance, since 15x18 was Castiel’s exit episode, why wasn’t he allowed to hug his son or Sam goodbye one last time? Why didn’t he have more of a focal role instead of standing around majority of the episode with barely any dialogue as so much precious air time was wasted on frivolous things? Why didn’t he get one last badass fight scene with someone like Death instead of being choked out and tossed around like a powerless mortal? Why did the group need to be split up to begin with when it served no purpose either than that *ugh* moment? Why wasn’t Jack allowed to call Castiel “dad” once before the show ended? He deserved to hear his son address him as dad!

AND WHY THE HELL COULDN’T JACK FEEL CASTIEL’S DEATH THE MOMENT IT HAPPENED? 

The show already established to the audience the significant cosmic bond these two characters shared since before Jack was even born. It was so powerful it boosted Castiel’s grace. Jack could remember who Castiel was from the womb and that he’d protected his mother. Not to mention HE FUCKING RESURRECTED CASTIEL OUT OF THE EMPTY ONCE WITHOUT GOD’S POWER. You’re telling me Jack couldn’t feel his dad being taken away forever despite how far apart they were? No, he’d feel it in his heart. Had we’d been given a scene like that at the end of 15x18 (something of substance) with actual grief shown in 15x19 maybe the episode would’ve faired better for them. 

That said it wasn’t, because Jack was treated the exact same way in his final exit. Hardly any lines and just a bunch of scenes of him standing/walking around until that pathetic reveal at the lake. HE DOESN’T EVEN GET TO INTERACT WITH JAKE ABEL’S MICHAEL/ADAM which would’ve been a great follow-up to the AU!Michael storyline in seasons 13 and 14. I swear these directors didn’t give Alex and Misha any motivation during their last three episodes and it’s evident in their hollow performances. But why would they when the scripts are basically telling their characters to quickly fuck off so the brothers can have their final outing. Jack doesn’t even behave like himself after he becomes the new God. His personality is apathetic, cold, alien, stiff and way too mature for the 3 year old child so closely connected to his family/the human world. In that moment I saw Alex Calvert not Jack Kline. It’s bad enough he doesn’t get a meaningful farewell but again Castiel, HIS DAD, is a complete afterthought to this kid 🥶

And that’s what we’re left with. Forever. A frigid, hollow ending to one of Supernatural’s most healthy, touching, family dynamics. It makes you wonder what was even the point. I can’t even fully enjoy the fact that its canon Jack and Castiel are together fixing Heaven because of what the show presented onscreen as their last hurrah. It’s not sitting right and it makes 15x20 even less appealing to me.

Moving onto Michael and Adam. Get ready for this. I could rant forever about how dirty my boys were done by this show. How they were discarded in the SPN series finale recap etc. just as they were FOR THE LAST TEN FUCKING YEARS. Was there even a plan going on here or was this just everyone making things up as it went? Their ending is the most unsatisfying and cruel thing because its INCOMPLETE. There is no real closure or resolution with them thanks to the monstrosity that was 15x19. AND NO ONE CARES ENOUGH ABOUT THEM TO GIVE A SHIT. 

Much as I’ve enjoyed this show for many years, it NEVER deserved Jake Abel, his talent or his time. I keep seeing so many anti posts about Dean Winchester’s final fate in Supernatural and all I can think about is “try being an Adam Milligan fan for the last decade”.  I’ve had to watch this boy go through hell with nothing to show for it either than years of memes. ridicule and the show’s mockery in forgetting him. Actually he’s the ONLY CHARACTER in this series you’re encouraged not to remember 😡 Also quick question: why give us this really interesting and healthy relationship between an archangel and its vessel if nothing was ever going to become of it? 

At this point I don’t know why Adam or the idea of him was even introduced way back in season 4 let alone revisited in season 5. Because the only thing I see when I look at this character now is SAD WASTED POTENTIAL. Storylines never explored. Relationships that never got off the ground. Backstory we never got to see (like for instance his past with John Winchester and his time in the cage). A character’s birthright (Men of Letters) that was never actualized. AND the unexplained factor that Adam could look directly at Michael’s true form without his eyes burning out (making him a special case). And the thing is he could’ve been a really great character, both him and Michael. They could’ve easily reached popular status just like Castiel given the chance since Jake is a freaking acting-powerhouse. We were given a taste in 15x08 just how awesome these characters could be and how they could’ve contributed so much to the story and its core group. But unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be.

Michael will never redeem himself after years of scrutiny and being made out to be some kind of unhinged monster. This show constantly enjoyed pounding into our brains how fearsome Michael was. Warned us via Lucifer (LUCIFER, PEOPLE!) that he wasn’t rational, compassionate and didn’t care about anything except war, death and destruction. And that he was incapable of feelings and emotions. This is how Supernatural saw Heaven’s Prince and guardian of the Earth. Christ, they actually did a two-year storyline about an evil Michael from the AU world who enjoyed torturing and killing while trying to destroy the universe. I want to know WHAT THE HELL THIS SHOW’S WRITERS HAD AGINST THESE CHARACTERS? Why they felt the need to bring back Jake Abel, AFTER A DECADE OF FANS WANTING THIS, if it was simply to piss all over his characters one last time before the show wrapped. This is absolutely unprofessional and childish; the fact that Jake is taking this bullshit in stride makes it all the more shameful 😡

We could’ve learned so much more about Michael’s past and his present relationship with Adam. These characters didn’t need to sit in the cage for a decade they could’ve easily been incorporated back into the show as far as season 8 or 10! And been an asset to the Darkness storyline in season 11.There were characters and storylines introduced that served no purpose. Why did we need to keep seeing characters like Charlie Bradbury or (as much as I like him) Crowley or Garth (love him too) or Lucifer or Abaddon or the Wayward sisters? I would’ve much preferred having Adam and Michael around and got to know them instead; especially after 15x08. I would’ve wanted to see what their dynamic with TFW could’ve become had they been long-time allies. Did John ever tell Mary about Adam’s existence? I’d like to see what her reaction would’ve been like had the Winchesters remembered him during that damn 300th episode. I guess that’s another loose end untied.

But because of what Supernatural did to these two characters, it forever taints Sam and Dean. I don’t think Dabb or purist fans realize this. But when new viewers come into this show about two brothers preaching important things like “saving people”, “family first” or “family don’t end in blood” they’re going to see how badly the main protagonists treated their innocent half brother. How Castiel and Jack were treated. They’re going to see the heroes of the story abandoning this kid in Hell forever with no intention of EVER rescuing him. And that’s why their final appearance leaves such a bad taste going into 15x20. Cause as much as Dabb and co didn’t give a shit about Adam and Michael they also didn’t give a rat’s ass about protecting Sam and Dean’s integrity. That’ll be a stain they can’t undo. 

So through all of it, we’re stuck with the abomination that is 15x19 aka the eye-soar to an unfinished/unpolished story of two horribly disregarded characters. Michael gets the pleasure of being character assassinated right before he’s stupidly killed off instead of going out a hero or becoming the next God (as it was his birthright and the setup was there in the narrative). And Adam gets killed off-screen, OUT OF HIS OWN DAMN BODY, then brought back by Jack only to live a miserable, isolated existence since his brothers have nothing to do with him (the dog and car are more important); his best friend is dead, he has no job or money or a fucking home and he’s legally dead! Really what is there left for him besides the brutal fate awaiting in Hell when he dies?  

SERIOUSLY THEY COULDN’T GIVE US ONE SCENE WHERE THE WINCHESTERS CHECKED IN ON ADAM TO MAKE SURE HE WAS SAFE?! 🤬 His last scene pretty much sums up this shit for what it is. Tragic. I feel like crying for this poor sweet boy.

Congratulations Dabb, BL and co for giving us these much deserved broken story arcs of characters you destroyed and made OOC before leaving the airways. You did your show’s protagonists justice by doing this *sarcasm inserted* after 15 years of being onscreen. I doubt these idiotic decisions are going to age well in the long run. They certainly don’t look good on the Winchesters. Anyway that’s my hot take for the day. 

ALL THESE ACTORS AND THEIR CHARACTERS DESERVED BETTER.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Weird q..but i really dont understand why most fans hate season 4, especially the last episode. Why? I think it gave us a deeper look on both sherlock and mycroft! I felt it tells a lot about mycroft how he had to step in and take control of things ever since he was a kid himself. Also he is not a robot or a killer. Also redbeard thing. It was an appropriate deep psychological trauma (cause most shows usually disappoint in that area). I am not trying to impose my opinion. Just want to understand

Hey Nonny!

It’s all good, and I totally respect your opinion and how you enjoyed S4! It’s totally okay! I know that there are quite a few who got a lot of of S4, and who genuinely enjoyed it.

Sadly, I am not one of those people, and I’ll try to be as diplomatic a possible in my response, but PLEASE know that I don’t think you’re “terrible” or “stupid” for liking S4 because I DO get passionate sometimes in my responses, and I’m just merely speaking as someone who studied the series very closely for quite a long time before S4 aired, and as someone who knows Day-One-ers (ie., people who watched Sherlock on its day one airdate) who also are a large majority of the people who did not like S4. This is just me simply stating why I didn’t like it, but it’s different for everyone.

Stating what I DO like: The acting and cinematography of the first two episodes were brilliant for what they had to work with, and I’ve never faulted any of the actors for the flaws of S4. And for TFP, they did the best with what they had to work with.

That’s… pretty much all I really liked about S4.

Now, here’s my problems with S4:

Nothing made a LICK of sense to the narrative that they were telling in Seasons prior. 

This series was always based a bit in reality, and suddenly everything became comic-book rules: X-Men villains, shitty “redemption” arc, destroying favourite characters just for drama, ludicrous physics, explosions that only destroyed one small room in an apt where in previous episodes one explosion destroyed an entire block, etc.

Sherlock was OOC.

Mary was being built up to be a fantastic villain? Ah, nope, here’s the lacklustre twist where tee hee Mary’s just an assassin with a heart of gold that still emotionally abuses Sherlock and John and just won’t fucking stay dead.

And speaking of this, the DVD’s make NO LOGICAL SENSE unless she was planning to kill herself

AND she tries to make her death equatable to Sherlock’s??

Everyone was RIDICULOUSLY out of character in TFP, I’m so sorry: Mycroft is a bumbling coward for the most part, Sherlock disregards John when he gives the Vatican Cameos warning, the Holmes Parents are assholes because Mycroft COULDN’T SOLVE A PROBLEM WHEN HE WAS 12?? ARE YOU SERIOUS???? And that creepy Moriarty / Eurus thing, and LITERALLY they’re implying that EVERYTHING HAPPENED BECAUSE EURUS DIDN’T GET A HUG. Like, I’m so sorry, but that’s lazy writing.

And don’t even get me started on the ridiculousness of the entire character of Eurus. She LITERALLY had X-Men powers, and like… just nothing made sense. Her involvement in the entirety of S4 MADE NO SENSE. Why go back to prison if you can get out?? WHAT IS THE POINT?? AND I repeat: She did all this because she didn’t get a hug. Yes. I’m oversimplifying, but at the base level, that’s what it was, because she wanted Sherlock’s attention. Welcome to the club, kid, stand in line, everyone on the SHOW wants his attention.

The ENTIRE plot of the first 2 seasons got wiped out all because it wasn’t Moriarty who was interested in Sherlock, but Eurus?? What… What about Carl Powers?? Like…. the ENTIRETY of season one and TGG makes no sense now, because of that one 5 minute scene where Eurus “enlists” Moriarty. I… ugh.

The SUDDEN tonal switch from kind-of Sherlock to James Bond, for some fucking reason.

And on that note, how terribly lazy and cheap TFP looks in comparison to the other two episodes. The whole episode looks like it was filmed in a small house with 4 identical rooms.

EVERYTHING that was etablished in 2 episodes prior were COMPLETELY forgotten when Mary was “shot”.

The complete character assassination of one loyal blogger John H Watson in favour of Mary for some fucked up reason, even though AT HIS OWN WEDDING HE COULDN’T STAND BEING AROUND MARY. I’m sorry, but I don’t believe for one damned second that John would EVER forgive Mary for murdering his best friend after seeing what it did to him. That’s not love from her, and that’s NOT John’s character EVER in the ENTIRETY of the series.

And speaking of character assassinations, Molly’s character being devolved to S1E1 Molly, where instead of giving her agency like they were doing with her the ENTIRE series, so much so that Sherlock picked up on her dominance enough to give her a big role in his mind palace in HLV and TAB, only to make her a sad little self-insert Mary Sue pining for the main character, and in turn made Sherlock a TERRIBLE human being for MAKING HER say what she did. It’s gross.

AND speaking of Molly’s character, they’ve been setting up Mollstrade since as early as ASiB, but I guess that plot line got shafted. Look I LOVE Hopkins, and I am ANGRY they didn’t give her more than 3 fucking lines in the entirety of ONE episode after HEAVILY promoting her actress and character, but they essentially reduced her to a piece of ass for Lestrade to chase. AND THAT’S NOT HIS CHARACTER EITHER. EW GROSS.

The constant plot holes being gaped wide open, and the Chekov’s gun moments where they bring up shit but do nothing with it!! 

TD-12? Nope, just a lame reference to a story we like. 

John got shot at the end of TLD with a VERY REAL FUCKING GUN? Nope, it was a dart gun. 

John not suddenly knowing how to be a doctor.

The TGG one I mentioned up above. 

What was in the letter? And who was Anyone??

Moriarty essentially being erased as anything other than a hired thug and had no part whatsoever in Sherlock’s history. 

Eurus… Just all of her character is asinine. 

Everyone in T6T suddenly not knowing John’s the blogger, which is in direct contradiction to literally the entire series. 

The AGRA plotline was ridiculous, in the end.

Baby? What baby? It was only there when convenient.

They dropped whatever plotline they were going to do for Mycroft: He was being set up as either dying, or the villain.

Redbeard. I’m sorry, I disagree with you on that. Mofftiss is trying to tell me that a little boy fell down a well and went missing, and that WASN’T the first place searchers / the police wouldn’t have looked? Sorry, no. And then. AND THEN his parents just… go along with this thing where Sherlock shuts down and they DON’T get him therapy? Yes, I agree the mind is a funny thing, and we can be traumatised into forgetting or dissociating from traumatic events. I GET IT. But… like I don’t believe the Holmes are so heartless as to just never grieve or have memories around about their supposedly dead daughter. It’s another OCC thing for me.

John’s cheating.

Disappearing and reappearing characters, like this scene, and the entirety of the aquarium scene.

Mary and John being terrible parents

OH GOD THIS FUCKING SCENE. That bomb SHOULD HAVE DESTROYED THE ENTIRE BUILDING.

What… who was this girl on the plane? What? Like I know WHO, but if she’s supposed to be Eurus talking to Sherlock, why don’t we see Eurus… talking to Sherlock? I … Ugh.

NORBURY. 

The glass SUPER SECRET GOVERNMENT ROOM THAT NO ONE SHOULD SEE INTO in T6T.

Sloppy camera work that some believe was intentional, but if it wasn’t, jesus c’mon.

The RIDICULOUS amount of 4th Wall Breaking. Like… even the actors didn’t give a shit.

Essentially, everything on this list here and in this blog tag here.

And everything mentioned on these three posts:

T6T: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night 

TLD: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night

TFP: 10 Revealing Things That Haunt You Late at Night

There’s SO much more I can go into, but please go through my “something’s fucky” tag in that last link.

Notice how probably 90% of that has NOTHING to do with “johnlock not becoming canon” because the Johnlockers get MONSTROUS accusations as to THAT being why we didn’t like S4, even though it was, like critically panned by the GENERAL AUDIENCE who have NO investment in the series other than “I liked it in the past”.

Two of my fave YouTubers have interesting (not perfect, but still good) takes coming at the series as casual viewers:

‘The Day Sherlock Died’ by The Closer Look

‘Sherlock is Garbage, and Here’s Why’ by hbomberguy

So it’s NOT just Johnlockers. I’ve talked to Sher1011ies at 221B con who didn’t like S4 either, because most of them realized how shitty Molly was treated in the last episode. So yeah, a big middle finger to those who think I dislike S4 because of  “no Johnlock”. No, I disliked it because I need my stories to make logical narrative sense. I disliked it because I love John and they ruined his character all for the sake of drama and because Moffat has a “hurting Ben” kink. I disliked it because Mary should NOT have been “redeemed” because she was an abuser. I disliked it because Moriarty was turned into a cartoon villain, even though he was already overused in the series. I disliked it because the core of the show – the FRIENDSHIP of Sherlock and John, and their solving mysteries together – did not exist at all. I disliked it because John got sidelined. I disliked it because TFP was a ridiculous episode that, if you replace ANY of the characters, it wouldn’t make a difference, because it didn’t feel like an episode of Sherlock. I disliked it because everyone was OOC.

Anyway. Sorry. One too many accusations my way over the past 1100+ days LOL.

As for your assessment of TFP, I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with you. There was no growth and actually it implies something far more sinister: That the Holmes are and were terrible parents that gave no shits about their daughter, their traumatized son, and expected their eldest to essentially be a parent. It implies that Mycroft, at 12 years old, orchestrated the ENTIRE Sherrinford thing… Look I can suspend my disbelief, but there’s limits, and this is one of them. A LITERAL CHILD. Perhaps Uncle Rudy had a hand in it somehow, but then why not shit on Uncle Rudy? Why is Mycroft blamed for it all?

Look, I don’t doubt Sherlock had a traumatic experience regarding “Redbeard”. But then why play into the fact that he was a dog? Why bring another character into the series just to have a gotcha moment? Because Mofftiss wanted a “Shyamalan twist”, that’s why. They threw EVERYTHING away for a twist ending either because they GENUINELY thought it was good, or they got tired of doing Sherlock. ALL of TFP is LITERALLY a really bad plot twist because reasons. TFP makes no sense to the ENTIRE narrative structure of the previous 12 episodes. It erased EVERYTHING from the previous episodes, and coated it with a gross closing by a character no one wanted in the series, and then tried to convince us that it’s a new beginning – “a journey they had to go through” – but it SOLVED NOTHING.

Anyway. I have big feels about S4, and the only way I can enjoy it is to watch it subtextually, but even then, I cannot sit through TFP without cringing. 

That said, Lovelies, please do not attack Nonny for enjoying S4! I know you guys won’t, but Nonny came out with an olive branch and they just want to understand why the fandom is passionate about S4′s… whatever it was. We can have a civil discussion about it, and point out – without attacking – why S4 is universally panned. It’s okay to like things no one else does, and Nonny was respectful to me in this ask! 

So with that, feel free, lovelies, to express why YOU didn’t enjoy the series, or why you did! I’m interested in both “sides” / pov’s whatever :)

[felassanis]

Characters that I think will make a return in Dragon Age 4

Okay, So lets get the first two out of the way and the reasons why I think they are bound to return.

Dorian Pavus: Pretty much a given, he’s already in Tevinter. He’s got big plans for the city and he’s a fan favourite. it would be a crime if he didnt come back.

Fenris: Will the Blue Wraith release I can’t help but wonder if that’s setting up Fenris’s arc and how it’ll pertain to DA4. How this wonderful character will tie into the shitstorm that’s about to occur in the next installment. When you hear Tevinter, chances are a couple of things will come to mind. Mages, blood-magic, Dorian, Slavery and Fenris. His whole character is linked to this setting. Hes a character who's got the biggest reasons to be there so he better be there. either as the leader of a slave rebellion or possibly an agent of Fen’harel. Also, given how vocal the fandom has been about him coming back, I think Bioware will deliver. I just hope he’s intertwined witht the plot like Varric was, and not given a crappy cameo like Zevran was in dragon age 2. And even if you did (You fucking monster) Give him back to Danarius, then he’ll be in Tevinter too. Or if you killed him like a fucking moron, well Bioware have brought back characters from the dead before. Leliana I'm looking at you

And ngl, I really want a FenHawke moment

Now, these next ones are the “Realistic” few who I think will make a return based on theories and evidence but I’m also making a section of characters who I want to see come back even if it’s not likely:

Sten: I find it very likely we will see this guy again. There conflict between Tevinter and Seheron should be one of the focuses in dragon age 4 and given that our actions in dragon age 2 he becomes the Arishok and if memory serves; he’s in Seheron. More Sten? More likely than you think if I’m right.

Talis: Another one who should make an appearance given her allegiance to the Qunari. Talis was a really good character and criminally underused in Mark of the Assasins and dragon age 2 as a whole. I think she’ll make a cameo, doing her thing as a skilled assassin for the Qunari.

Krem: It would be interesting for this character to make a return, perhaps he could not stand to see what is happening in his home country and makes a return. Given how important Krem is for representation, him being from Tevinter and how popular he was, I think he will also be making a return.

Verania: A small cameo. But I think if you stopped Fenris from killing her, then his sister Verania will be making a return. Which could offer an interesting scene if Fenris also makes a return. She does return to Tevinter, and given that her master was killed (Hopefully) it would be a curious thing to see how she ended up.

Varric: The reason why I think Varric will come back is because of the Red Idol. Varric has history with that thing, it was him and his brother who made the expedition to recover it from the Deep Roads and given how obvious it is that the Red Idol will play a major role in DA4 I think Varric will feel compelled to try and get it back or destroy it. He hates red lyrium and he hates that idol and he knows exactly what it is capable of, so the thought of it ending up in the wrong hands must unsettle him. He felt at fault for the red lyrium and Corypheus, hence why he stayed with the Inquisition to try and sort it all out. I think it will be the same for the red idol, he feels a responsibility to stop it because he thinks it’s his fault it’s out there in the first place.

Scout Harding: A potential LI maybe??? I think she’ll play a vital role whether or not the inquisition was kept or discarded in Tresspasser. I hope she gets a more important role than a simple quest giver.

Isabela: With the recent concept art I am seeing A LOT of Pirates and I couldn’t help but think of Isabela. And that one concept art seems to confirm Isabela is coming back and I'm so excited.

Leliana & Cassandra: It sounds to me like Leliana and Cassandra will come back as advisors of sorts, I’m not sure what role they’ll play exactly in the grand scheme of things in the next game but I do think they will both come back in some capacity, because of their words and cameo in the ending to Tresspasser.

Abelas: maybe only a cameo if you killed him, but Solas essentially recruits Abelas and if hes alive I think Abelas could make a return. 

Unrealistically, but why I think they should:

Zevran: He’s has somehow been mentioned or appeared in every game since origins and I don’t want that streak to be ruined. I think there’s definitely a role for him given how much he adventures and explores, his wit and his tendencies to get into trouble, and how he is a fan favourite.

Oghren: Honestly? Just because we haven’t heard from him a long time.

Cullen: I highly doubt he will come back. Why? Because I feel like the option to romance him in Inquisition on top of his sort of redemption arc in that game is his...end. Like, he got closure, he got the focus he needed regarding all the shit he went through in the past two games and I honestly do believe that is where Cullen’s story ends. But...I could be wrong, they might want to keep the pattern of him appearing in every game and maybe they have something else planned for him since they strangely liked this character because he went from this minor dude in Origins to Meredith’s lackey in dragon age 2 to a fully fledged main cast member in dragon age 3.

Meredith: Speaking of Meredith, I think it would be so neat for her to make a return as a boss fight. Because fighting her in dragon age 2 was so much fun and I think with the return of the Red Lyrium Idol, having her come back somehow would be appropriate. Maybe the statue she turns into merely keeps her in hibernation? So under whatever the hell material the red lyrium used to ‘kill’ her, it actually didn’t snuff out her life but rather preserved it. She’s still alive and fiddling with the Idol brings her back. Edit: turns out shes super dead but I'm leaving it here in case I can somehow rationalise how this scary lady could come back

Orsino: I can totally imagine the theory that Varric lied about Orsino’s death in order to protect him so Cassandra and the Templars wouldn’t go after him. Even the devs said his death was a mistake, so this could be a great way to rectify how shitty a card he was dealt in DA2 and give him a better storyline and role in the next game. Orsino is just a really good character who would do well with more time and focus spent on him. 

Bodahn & Sandal: because I need answers about what the fuck Sandal is and I miss Bodahn. And given Sandal's massive fucking foreshadowing to Solas and the magic of the elves I think HE HAS TO COME BACK but also...idk what they would really do with him, if hed really play a role other than what he did in the first and second game. An enigmatic dwarf for comedic effect and also creepiness.

Anders: if hes alive, and if you didnt romance him. I want a cameo, since he was originally supposed to appear in Inquisition as a hermit in a cave. I'd like that concept to return in the area near Tevinter/Antiva. Because I think it would be tragic, if hes borderline insane and a wandering nomad hiding his identity. Maybe Justice has taken over, maybe we have to free him of Justice to recruit Anders. Maybe we need him to enter the Fade somehow? Maybe when the veil is broken Justice takes over completely that way? I just want an Anders cameo, see a tragic ending to a tragic character with the potential of redemption? Potential chance at happiness through helping the player fight Solas? And maybe, if Isabela or Varric come back...theyd have something to say? They might beg the player to help him? Mourn their friend or fret over him? Varric and Anders hug?

Spirit of Wynne: my girl Wynee gets no fucking love or mention from what I've seen and I will not stand for it. I'm sure she died, even by DAII's timeline. But if the veil is torn? Maybe her spirit will pay us a visit, give us words of encourage or wise lessons??? I miss Wynne so much.

Morrigan: I do think something is being set up with her character and Kieran. And with her being so woven with the whole Mythal thing, I wouldn't be shocked if Morrigan wanted to get involved, since Mythal wanted to live on through Morrigan. Maybe Morrigan has a bone to pick, maybe shes mad that Solas killed her mother.

[chidoroki]

“We Were Born”

So, this special chapter was.. nothing like I expected when we first learned about getting another extra TPN chapter? I was hoping for more backstory on another character, like the last three extra chapters gave us, but this new one was completely different (and a tiny bit of a let down if i can be honest?). I know placing this in the usual tag might throw people off, since literally no one from TPN shows up in said chapter (aside from Emma on the cover) but since it's done by Shirai & Demizu and is considered to be a pilot chapter to the series itself, I'm gonna chat about it anyway.

As you would expect, the world in this chapter is also unforgiving. There are no demons to be seen here, but civil wars that last centuries, where it’s the people themselves who kill each other. “Violence and criminals rule the city. Could you believe such a place exist on Earth?” (even though this place is fictional as well but.. *glances at Roanapur* yeah, i can believe it.) All joking aside, I think that this harsh world could parallel the human world in which Peter Ratri and Alex talk about in TPN ch173 & ch180 respectively.

Okay, so for our characters now.. is it me, or does Rita remind anyone else of Emma? I mean, I understand that's the whole point and probably why the two of them were on the cover together, but come on, look at that smile of hers! Even the eyes are like Emma's. The whole idea of living in foster care and how useful Rita strives to be towards others are obvious comparisons as well.

And Leo has, of course, jumped his way straight into my heart and no doubt earns his place there by the end of this chapter. This man just gives me serious Yuugo vibes and I'm all for it.

Honestly though, not only do I see similarities between Leo and Yuugo, but with Ray as well. The three of them are fully aware that the world they're living in is hell but as a sort of sole survivor among their family and friends, they question their own lives as they're tormented by those very people they lost.

As the focus moves back to Rita, we're faced with a very familiar reveal, but the truth still managed to shock me nonetheless. The man who wanted to adopt Rita only considered doing so in hopes to save Margo's life, his own daughter, with the help of Rita's organs. This setup reminds me heavily of the movie “The Island,” and you don't know of it, I'll give a quick summary.  In the movie, the people live in an isolated community and are told the outside world is too dangerous to live in, with the exception of one island. Occasionally, one person is chosen via a lottery to leave the safe community and go live on this island to have a normal, free life away from everyone else.. forever. We later find out that these people are nothing but the clones of wealthy sponsors, who plan to use them for their own organ transplants, surrogate motherhood and other medical reasons, because who else would be a better compatible match other than yourself, right?  So “winning the lottery” means these clones are essentially being lead to their own deaths instead. Hurray for false hope!

And as we would expect, Father is completely aware of this and enjoys revealing the truth to Rita way too much. I don't want to say he's the male counterpart of Isabella (because i actually love that woman and she's redeemed herself) but yeah, you see their roles are one in the same when it comes to being honest at least.

But Father also reminds me of Peter, especially here. I instantly thought of that one panel from TPN ch172 when he's like “An idiot! She’s an idiot!” So this goes without saying, but I hate both of them.

Leo on the other hand.. oohh, I simply love him! Go ahead and tell me those words of his wouldn't be perfect for Ray. Or Yuugo. Hell, literally anyone Emma saved could say this and I would cherish it just the same.

I'm genuinely sad this chapter will probably never be adapted into anything because I would love to see this man animated.

AND THIS ENTIRE SCENE! None of the TPN cast may be included anywhere in this story but the essence of the full-score trio is on full display here! Norman when Rita says she wants to live, Emma when Leo speaks about life's meaning and making your own choices, and Ray when Leo promises to live and even kicking down the door.

The chapter ends decent enough I guess. Father is seen limping away, so it’s fair to say Leo beat him up pretty good, which is fantastic. Leo stays alive after saving Rita, who appears to be helping other children. We see Margo too, and since Rita is off on her own, it sort of implies that Margo is still ill and  won't live long. She doesn't seem upset by it at all though, since she overheard the conversation between Leo and Rita about living, Margo decides her meaning to life will be to write a story, which most likely alludes to TPN itself.

(hmm, no tpn backstory in sight and yet i still managed to ramble on quite a bit about this chapter. surprising. can we count that banner as a slight emma cameo though? because i am.)

[breanne-says-boo]

October 2020 NYCC - What We Do in The Shadows panel

We did learn a little bit more about the upcoming Season 3 in this panel! Things bolded are relevant to S3 (**potential spoilers ahead under the cut!**)

Video can be found here [ X ]

Kathryn VanArendonk (a critic for Vulture) was the moderator for the panel and was joined by Mark (Colin Robinson), Kayvan (Nandor), Harvey (Guillermo), Matt (Laszlo), Natasia (Nadja), as well as showwriter Stefani Robinson and producer/writer Paul Simms. Kathryn wrote this article about the show if you would like to read it.

Details below under the cut --->

Kathryn asked what each of their character would be doing in quarantine and how they would be handling COVID-19:

Kayvan: He immediately says there would be a strain between Nandor and Guillermo, especially with there being a lack of victims for him to eat. Nandor would make Guillermo order LOTS of delivery and eat the delivery workers.

Harvey: it would be very awkward in the house for Guillermo particularly after the events of the season 2 finale.

Paul: Guillermo would be the only one in the house to wear a mask because he’s really the only one who cares/pays attention. The vampires would be confused/irritated by it and ask him to take off his “stupid costume”

Natasia: The vamps would probably be like the people who wear the masks under their noses if they wear them at all. They might be sort of unsympathetic and say “Oh, here we go again” having lived through many pandemics. The vamps might take advantage of everyone being at home but Guillermo might be stressed having to worry which of their victims have COVID and touching the bodies to throw them out. Harvey adds on and imagines that maybe it’s revealed that one of the vampires in the house is responsible for a different pandemic like the Spanish Flu or something to that effect.

Mark: Colin is a no-masker (for the purpose of irritating others) and getting into arguments about his constitutional rights inside stores. He’d probably be pretty hungry since he mostly feeds at the office and his coworkers would have to work at home.

Matt: They’d probably have no idea because they don’t watch the news or pay attention to current events at all

Kathryn immediately then asks about the Nandermo relationship- she asks Harvey and Kayvan if their characters love each other and how that relationship is developing.

Harvey: he started playing Guillermo with this infatuation with Nandor and that there were “blurred lines” in how he sees Nandor. He then explains that it seems kind of curious to the audience why Guillermo would continue to serve Nandor and help the vamps they continue to treat him so badly, and in Harvey’s mind, Guillermo is just driven by love and driven by emotion. He’s just very human and wants to do the right thing. (Harvey then “steals” Kayvan’s question about if Nandor is in love with Guillermo and Kayvan goes into Nandor-mode and begins to chastise Guillermo for being rude. Nandor: “Do you see what I have to put up with?”)

Kayvan: Nandor needs Guillermo and is “wrestling with his feelings” towards Guillermo. It is “heading towards a dangerous” territory for him because he “can’t be falling again after all [his] marriages”...he’s excited to see what happens next, but things are pretty “rocky” for them as of where we left them off.

My thoughts: seems like this is indicating a role-reversal of sorts in season 3, with Guillermo falling out of his infatuation with Nandor and Nandor falling in love with Guillermo? 

Kathryn asks Matt about what it’s like doing the “musical” epsiode for Laszlo since he has legitimate music experience (Matt sort of laughs about her use of “legit” in regards to his music).

Matt says its essentially demo song work. It’s good fun doing short ideas for pitching these 30 second songs in the space with ‘Tasia (Natasia)

Natasia: says it was a dream to do the songs with Matt and “plant seeds” in the work space because of Matt’s musical background. She mentions that Mark had an improv moment where Colin goes on stage to join Nadja and Laszlo and begin singing/rapping. Mark says that Colin begins jokingly doing it but then we see him get more into the song and enjoying it.

Paul says that if we like the prospective idea of Colin singing, we should be excited because Colin gets a singing/song moment in season 3. Paul then says something along the lines of that he’s happy they get to do these sort of bits and that all the casts members go along with it because “We are all dedicated to being silly...and stupid in a clever way.”

Kathryn then asks the whole group what kind of scenes do they look forward to doing for their characters and which scenes they like to watch their co-stars taken on

Harvey: likes doing action stuff and getting the change to play almost like these two different personalities in Guillermo- his quieter side and his badass side! He has a fun time with all his cast mates doing scenes and watching them. He has a hard time doing some scenes with Kayvan because he makes Harvey laugh and takes him out of character.

Kayvan: he likes doing scenes with Karvey because of the “tenderness.” He also like the house meeting scenes because they spin out into something outrageous or hilarious that happens after the fact.

Natasia: she likes doing Talking Heads scenes (when the scene is just of their characters speaking to the audience and to each other like in an interview) with Matt. She also likes doing the Fancy Room scenes, scenes with other women, and scenes with Shaun/Sean the neighbor. She likes scenes where Nandor is “saying thick stuff” because of the contrast of Nandor being this fearless warrior but also really stupid. She likes scenes where Matt has to do stuff really fast or has to run because it makes her laugh.

Matt: likes doing “loose” scenes where they can do anything that they want to do with a scene. He also likes doing the Talking Heads scenes with Natasia and watching the stuntmen do stuff he’s supposed to be doing. Apparently Kayvan let out somehow that Matt is afraid of heights. Kayvan: “Did I?...you’re getting better though...”

Mark: likes opportunities to play off of what the others say. He likes watching scenes where “Matt deal with Kayvan” because Laszlo can’t stand fools even though [Nandor] is one of the biggest fools (he says Laszlo but I think he meant Nandor with the mention of Kayvan). Scenes where they belittle Guillermo and scenes with Natasia are also fun.

Then Paul said he had a special guest who could also answer this question and in popped Nadja doll into the chat in her own separate video box. They were teasing her for being “on mute” and had her answer yes/no questions by nodding her head.

Kathryn asks Stefani about debates in the writer’s room regarding vampire biology and life. She asks Stefani about what’s fun about bringing in new creatures to the show and developing the lore about the vampires.

Stefani: it’s fun but it’s also hard in the writer’s room making decisions about these sort of things. The ability to pick and choose parts of the lore, but there can be contradictions they have to deal with. She wants the lore and the aspects of their nature to come together and be grounded so that it’s fun but isn’t too ridiculous. She considers how these elements/creatures can be “show-pieces” for the characters to interact with and how they contribute to the story and how they are funny.

Stefani then notes that Jermaine was very anti-leprechaun but Paul said he tried to reason with him. They try to decide among themselves what “fits” within their world and what doesn’t but there really isn’t a specific reason for what they go with.

Paul says there will be 3-4 new kinds of creatures in season 3. But no aliens, he notes. 

Natasia asks if somehow Sesame Street/Muppets would exist within their world and could make a cameo (I’m guessing because of the Count connection?) Paul jokes and says “Stefani, I don’t know what you’re doing tomorrow...but if we can schedule another meeting we could spend 6 hours making this happen.” Natasia then says she would love to see Miss Piggy and Nadja have some great chats. Same with Kermit and Nandor. Matt says he thinks Guillermo should find R2D2 buried in the garden but none of their characters recognize it.

All of season 3 is currently written. Kathryn asks about anything else they can tease for us:

Paul says there is in fact a bit of dialogue (3/4 of a page) about Kermit the frog that Natasia “accidentally came upon” (I don’t know how serious he is about this).

The vampires will go on a roadtrip! They will be traveling someplace they don’t normally go to, and the issue of having to bring soil from their homeland will be brought up

There is a birthday! It’s a big important birthday...for Colin! (maybe Colin’s song moment is him singing Happy Birthday?)

Nandor is looking for love and decides that it is time for him to find a partner

Some characters will be coming back, including Shaun/Sean the neighbor who will appear in two episodes

[asilentguardian]

My Thoughts on Gotham

My mom and I finished watching Gotham on December 29th, and this analysis has been sitting in google docs since then. Some of this is a bit incoherent, some of it I wrote as I was watching, and some of it I wrote after finishing the entire show. So here it is. 2,000 words or so of rambling about Gotham. 

My thoughts on the show as a whole: Gotham changed my opinion on a lot of Batman’s villains. I used to be indifferent towards Penguin, now I love him. I used to hate Firefly, now I love her. While there were one or two decisions that I disagreed with, the portrayal of these characters was satisfying and the tone of the show as a whole was refreshing. The writing was good for the most part, however there are issues with sexism and homophobia that I personally noticed.

And now I’m going season by season cause I’m a nerd.

Season One

Season one is a bit of a mixed bag for me. It seemed to me that the show writers and the younger actors were still trying to find their footing and decide what kind of world their Gotham was. Some episodes are slow, but overall it’s intriguing and I was invested after a couple of episodes.

The pilot has a lot of moving parts and it still works. They did a good job of intertwining all of these characters before starting them all on their own paths.

I can’t imagine anyone else playing these roles. I am really happy with the casting choices for this show. Jim Gordon, Harvey Bullock, and Bruce Wayne especially.

Fish Mooney is an interesting but welcome edition! To be honest, the first time my mom and I tried to watch Gotham, we hated her. The second time around, however, I LOVED her and her role in the rise of Penguin.

Having Edward Nygma start at the GCPD was a really cool idea! I think they executed his descent into madness perfectly. I wanted Ed to prevail and to be a goodman just as much as I wanted to see the Riddler emerge.

Speaking of the GCPD, the corruption and the conflict within the precinct is very believable and compelling. It’s easy to believe that Jim Gordon is a young and optimistic detective who believes wholeheartedly in doing good. I also appreciate the fact that Jim Gordon doesn’t lose that drive for good throughout the show. I also don’t find it too cheesy, even if it’s a common trope.

The Batman universe is huge so I was expecting references and easter eggs at every turn, and I was half right. There's plenty of references and cameos but they work and they aren’t essential to the plot which helps casual fans keep up with the story.

A lot of seeds are planted during this first season, and it’s rewarding to see them pay off. I don’t feel as if the first season suffers from the thing that a lot of movies do where they are clearly trailers for the next part in the franchise. 

I think my favorite episode of this season is episode 20 “Under the Knife.” The stakes are high and the story line with the Ogre is definitely unexpected and horrifying but in the best way. Also Ed kills Dougherty and it’s very satisfying.

Season Two

Rise/Wrath of the Villains!

Theo Galavan and Hugo Strange were the big bads of this season and I think they were written and acted very well.

Something I’ve noticed about some of the villains on this show and their interactions with children and Bruce in particular is that they’re... unsettling. I suppose that’s intentional and I definitely think it makes some of the villains more intimidating, but it’s really creepy. There are a lot of adults that are preying on Bruce’s innocence in this show. 

Theo Galavan was not my favorite. He was intimidating for a bit, but I kinda grew bored of him. I did enjoy the nod to Azrael. 

Hugo Strange! I was kinda indifferent to him when playing Arkham City but I enjoy him in this show! Loved when he showed up again in subsequent seasons and you immediately knew some Fucked Shit was happening.

So Mr. Freeze. I’m not too sure how I feel about Gotham’s take on this story. The casting is solid, but killing Nora? Not the move. Actually very angry about that to be honest. The Mr. Freeze episode could’ve been so much more compelling and emotional but instead it was a way to move Lee and Jim’s relationship forward :(

They managed to make Firefly not annoying, but I only found Firefly annoying before because of that stupid boss fight in Arkham Origins. But I liked Bridget.

Penguin and Nygma’s relationship is very fun in this season! More on them later, but at least in season two it’s very enjoyable to watch them learn to trust each other. My mom and I adored their story line.

I LOVE Nygma’s character arc in this season. His interactions with Gordon are some of my favorite bits from this season. They are very rewatchable and I find their relationship to be one of the more intriguing ones in the show.

Overall season 2 was decent. Some of the villains were forgettable, but the relationship arcs and character arcs that were compelling kept me interested.

Episode 15, Mad Grey Dawn, was one of my favorites this season. Seeing the Nygma v Gordon thing play out was so so so fun. I really loved being able to follow Nygma’s logic and feel Gordon’s frustration at being framed.

Season Three

Mad City/Heroes Rise!

There’s A LOT I have to say about season 3. I liked it. There’s a couple of big issues I have with season 3, but overall it was compelling and I enjoyed it.

While I’m not usually one for the “this character has a darkness inside of them” trope, I really didn’t mind it with Gordon. I thought it was believable and interesting enough to be engaging. bounty hunter Gordon was pretty fun, too. And hot. Anyway.

The Mad Hatter v Jim Gordon stuff is intense. Episode 6 where Gordon is forced to choose between Valerie and Lee is where the “dark side” trope lost me a little but I do like that they make a point to have Gordon always make his way back to the light. Valerie’s exit felt very rushed and sudden? I don’t know if the actress was written off for some reason, but it felt very weird.

So. Penguin and Nygma. I don’t know if I would necessarily call it queer-baiting, but it definitely doesn’t sit right with me. Here’s the thing about Gotham’s queer representation: it’s not good, but it’s not bad. There is 100% an issue with making all of your queer characters villains. And there’s a HUGE issue with having Barbara’s attraction to women only be present when she’s a) acting as an antagonist to Gordon’s work at the GCPD (Montoya in season one) or b) on the side of the antagonist and framed as crazy (Tabitha in season two). Also, notice how in season five she’s “sane” when she’s with Gordon. It’s homophobia luv.

However, in the case of Penguin and Nygma, the added layer of Penguin’s love for Nygma makes their arc a little more interesting and compelling (there’s still an issue with queer love being framed as toxic and obsessive in this show, but if I don’t stop talking about that this post will be miles long).

The Ivy thing is certainly a new plot device, but I don’t hate it. Took a bit to get used to, but older Ivy makes sense and to be honest, I wasn’t a huge fan of child Ivy. Not that her character was bad, but I personally found her a tad annoying.

SEASON 3 EPISODE 14. THE GENTLE ART OF MAKING ENEMIES. I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT THIS. Bruce’s character development in this episode made me extremely happy. I haven’t talked a lot about Jerome-Joker yet, but I really like him. Joker is one of those characters you can take a lot of liberties with and it can either really work or really suck (looking at you Jared Leto). Gotham’s version of Joker, while a bit rushed, is a good fucking Joker.

The reason why I like s3e14 so much is THIS is what the Joker vs Batman relationship is about. This is why they are perfect foils. Batman always has a reason, a method. Motivation and a cause. He believes in Gotham and he believes that EVERYONE has the capacity for good. Joker does things just for the hell of it (i.e. kidnapping Bruce). His point is anarchy and chaos. His point is that everyone has darkness and that they are “one bad day” away from giving into that darkness (subtle nods to The Killing Joke, very nice). This is illustrated SO beautifully in this episode. However, I do see an issue down the line of Joker knowing who Batman is instantly, but I digress.

The birth of Riddler! The development of Penguin and Riddler’s animosity! mwah!

Also. Bruce standing above Gotham in an early version of the suit. There’s no ears or cape but my mom and I were VERY excited. I felt so giddy.

Bruce’s vow not to kill was beautifully framed, props to the DP on that one. It felt nice to hear a live action version of Bruce Wayne say that. (Note from the future: yes he breaks it. Sorta. I’m mad about it, but I explain my feelings in depth later).

Season Four

A Dark Knight!

Alright. Season 4. To be honest, it took me a while to warm up to this one.

Scarecrow. Love his costume. Love his escape. Scarecrow is one of my favorites because he’s creepy and cool and terrifying. Well done. The episode where Jim goes after him is really brutal. He goes there alone, not even Harvey by his side, and he is forced to stare his biggest fear in the face. I loved it!

The Pax Penguina. I’m easily won over by references to old literature and history. This show has made me actually like Penguin. I used to find him annoying and didn’t understand why he was people’s favorite, but this show has proved him to be a competent and cunning villain. I love to hate him. It’s fun seeing him at the top of Gotham.

Riddler’s escape and Nygma’s return. His friendship with Lee and Grundy (Grundy!!). Ed and Lee was certainly an interesting choice. I didn’t hate it, it just seemed really odd. I enjoyed Lee’s rise to power though! 

Sofia Falcone. Not really a fan tbh. Didn’t trust her from the start and it was SO satisfying to see her get shot in the head. Talk about a ruthless mastermind. To be fair, I did love to hate her in the beginning, but then she kinda got on my nerves? The actress that played her was really good though!

Captain James Gordon. Yessir. What a legend. One step closer to Commissioner. But also ouchie he had to go behind Harvey’s back. That subplot hurt so good.

Professor Pyg is. A lot. Gotham is a mature show, but it’s hard to like Pyg even as a villain. He’s unsettling and his episodes are a bit too much. I tolerated him but it just got to be gratuitous. I will say that I am relieved that they weren’t heavy handed on the cross-dressing thing. Would prefer not to see that played for a joke anymore, and this show does not need to vilify queerness more than it has.

Jerome and Jeremiah! ahhhhh!!! What wonderful interpretations of the Joker! Jerome was great, but I think I’m partial to Jeremiah. Maybe because his costume looks so much like the Joker from the animated series and Mark Hamill will always be my Joker. Either way, I LOVED their story line in season 4.

Kinda love Barbara being involved in the League. Very sexy of her. Also very sexy of her to not be dead. 

Alright. Here we go. Ra’s Al Ghul and Bruce Wayne. I have mixed feelings about this. So Bruce kills. Technically he’s not Batman yet, and obviously Ra’s didn’t stay dead, but he already took the oath. I have a hard time staying with any adaptation that makes their Batman a killer, but this one wasn’t awful? And then technically Barbara uses Bruce’s hands to kill Ra’s in the finale. I’m upset that they went with a “what if Batman kills” story line in the first place, but the resolution wasn’t too terrible.

Those last three episodes of season 4. Wow. My mom and I couldn’t stop watching. The nods to The Killing Joke were cool but not too on the nose. The stakes felt high and I was so deeply invested because this story line in particular was very well crafted and planned out and it definitely shows. There’s so many loose ends at this finale, and somehow it works and you still have hope. But holy shit, those bridges coming down, the utter panic and confusion as you’re wondering “is X person okay? what happened to X?” wonderful, chefs kiss.

Season Five

Legend of the Dark Knight!

Oh gosh. I have so much I want to say, but I don’t know how to put it into words. I loved this season. I loved the post apocalyptic vibes of Gotham. Loved the rise of the villains into the people who will one day face Batman. Loved Gordon’s leadership and rise to Commissioner. There’s a few things I have issues with this season, but I’m just so in love with that finale. What a beautiful send off.

I loved how the finale was crafted, how we didn’t see the full Batman suit till the end. I did, in fact, cry when that thing was revealed. The score was beautiful. It felt so much like an episode of The Animated Series, yet so unlike any other piece of Batman media. It was so refreshing to have everything wrapped up nicely, so refreshing to have hope and satisfaction in a finale.

Overall, this version of Gotham City feels like a living, breathing thing that is lived in and flawed. It is wonderful. The set designers did wonderfully and it feels so timeless in the way that the Animated Series did as well. I think that’s part of the reason why I loved this show so much. It made me feel the same way that the Animated Series did.

I know I’ve missed a lot of details and plot lines, so if for some reason you are interested in my thoughts on a particular thing in this show, my inbox is open!!

[curious-minx]

Review of the first episode of The Great North (plus some sad Bob’s Burgers’ news)

2021.

I was going to begin my review of the pilot episode of The Great North, the sister sister series of Bob’s Burgers, with my trademark  snarky and slanted curlicue wit... Instead, I am reckoning with the headline of the death of Bob’s Burgers character designer, Dave Creek.

Dave Creek.

Type his name out and put it in comic sans and you can see it’s a name meant to be involved with TV. One of the rare individuals to pass away from something other than Covid-19 or our rising totalitarian government. The artist contributed to the show in many ways, most profoundly with the design of Lady Tinsel from the Bleakening, one of Bob’s Burgers most visually ambitious episodes to date. I am ill-equipped to eulogize the man like his fellow peers are doing, but as someone who writes and thinks about the Bob’s Burgers series it is impossible to not address his passing.

//////

The Great North.

“Sexi Moose Adventure”

Look up there! What Do You See? Nature and stuff Like a rock And a tree Oh, The Great North Way up here we can breathe the air Catch some fish Or gaze at a bear Wow! Oh, The Great North Here we live, oh, oh Here we’ll stay, oh, whoo From longest night To longest day In The Great North

An Alan Thicke bop or the wimpy Cheers theme this aint. A jarring theme. I had to transcribe it to lay it out in front of me to see how wordy it is, but to my surprise the theme song looks more concise on paper. Still, I am not sold on this theme song. Mainly because I prefer the misheard lyric of “Here we’ll say (it’s actually “stay”): oh, whoo,” digging further into the regional grunts.

1:24, One minute and twenty four seconds in and there is already a  little bit of winking scatalogical humor by the ever youthful Paul Rust, or as I am sure he’ll be known for generations, Ham Tobin, the middle of the three Tobin sons. Compounded within these first two minutes is a stylistic swivel away from Bob’s Burgers comedic well with a Brokeback Mountain themed wedding cutaway joke with real-world celebrity cameos. Speaking of celebrity cameos, how about a side character conversation with an Alanis Morrisette  constellation (and she’s a recurring character!) you’ve never seen that in Bob’s Burgers! In the first three minutes and thirty seconds we have two instances of explicitly expositional dialogue, the first is the cleaner introduction of eldest Wolf Tobin (voiced by Will Forte) and his fiance Honeybee Shaw who has just moved to Alaska from Fresno and helps set up the reverse All in the Family Meathead and Gloria dynamic. What comes next is once again another moment I can only describe as jarring when the inexplicably normal named Judy Tobin explains to Alanis Morrisette constellation exactly what is wrong with sweetly overbearing father. The reason involving a somewhat convoluted background story about the former Tobin matriarch's  abandonment of the family and Beef, the Tobin patriarchy, is in denial of this  fact. Beef prefers to live in the reality where no wife of his would leave him she could only have been eaten by a wolf.  

What goes on throughout the episode is what I believe is a cardinal sin of episodic storytelling: Making jokes and observations at the expense of an off screen character. There are already WAY too many characters being thrown at me and not once throughout the episode was I able to identify any of the characters by any names other than the name of the celebrity voice actor. Minute six and yet again we are hit with Honeybee  generating another celebrity name for a joke and I really hope that the writers develop more of a game for her. Oh wait a minute the episode reminds me again at the eight minute forty sixth second mark that she is in fact from Fresno. More diarrhea and fart jokes snaking their way back into the scene as well, but Jenny Slate has always relished in the poopier jokes (see: any of her stand-up, Kroll work, or Obvious Child).

At the ten minute mark there is a quality character defining joke when Wolf distracts Beef by pointing out an indoor potted plant in a mall, which causes Beef, ever the Nature man, to take matters into his own hands by trying to rescue the potted plant. Beef is basically a combination of the two Rons from Parks & Rec, the emotional frugality of Ron Swanson and a touch of Sam Elliot’s Ron Dunn Earthiness. Julio Torres’ mall juicer character is also introduced with a perfunctory but enjoyable deadpan exchange with the awkward Judy, but it’s the kind of performance Julio Torres could give in his sleep (and probably did).

The eleven minute mark introduces a character that I was initially pretty jazzed about, Judy’s boss at the mall photography store Alyson Lefebvrere (gosh I hated typing out that name >.<) voiced by long-time Molyneux collaborator, Megan Mullally. On paper, much like the theme song, a heated exchange between an emotionally vulnerable Beef and a character voiced by real-life wife Megan Mullally should be dynamite, instead much like their podcast it feels like a wet fart in the sheets. Mullally’s work on Bob’s Burgers as Linda’s sister Gayle is terrific and with the power of animation having her play an unconventional looking character really works to her advantage. Alyson’s character design is boring and conventional cartoon  attractive as she’s clearly being set up as a potential love interest for our leading Beef man, but the whole thing in execution falls completely flat. The extended 69 joke between Beef and Alyson is supposed to be funny because we know it’s between a real life publicly beloved celebrity couple. You cannot coast on innate chemistry alone! The setting up of the love interest isn’t even coy, we see Beef get heart eyes and drool over Alyson, which is just the most predictable and least interesting choice. A route this show seems dangerously flirtatious with.

Finally, at minute:second mark 13:15 we get introduced to a potentially fun and quirky sitcom character, Londra the neighboring fish mongerer. Voiced by Judith Shelton, an actor I am sure we all remember as Sally from Seinfeld and Angela from the Gregory Hines Show. Instead she gets instantly shut down and shuffled by in favor of advancing the plot of the episode. Moving on to the birthday party. Yep Honeybee makes another pop culture reference this time the Minions (it was Squidward last time, but I was too faint of heart to mention it at the time). We also find out in a forced confession from Ham that he is gay. I am glad the show has hired an openly gay actor like Julio Torres to play a bit recurring character, but it feels weird having Paul Rust a thoroughly heterosexual actor portray a gay goofball character. I feel like there easily could have been an actual gay goofball Paul Rust type out there deserving of the job, but this show does do right by having Dulce Sloan as Honeybee and Aparna Nancherla as MVP, Moon Tobin (Who I’ll get into later). Therefore I should not let this irk me, but clearly this show and I are not seeing eye to eye. In an era of gestures towards meaningful representation I would just like to see some consistency. Rust will probably go on to join the ranks of the many other hetero men who have also portrayed perfectly competenent and sensitive gay characters, but with gay characters should come paychecks for gay voice talent. In the end of this dead end debacle I much rather  Paul Rust have the role  and be spared the unimaginative Randy Rainbow casting. Back on track.

There’s a four square action sequence of the four siblings that also feels like the show attempting another stylistic flourish to separate itself from Bob’s Burgers. The episode, all one straight ahead single narrative, comes to a happy ending to also establish that the Bob’s Burgers sister sister series is also interested in being a sentimental sitcom to its core. An unfortunately okay first episode that got worse for me with a repeated viewing. The only character and overall performance that sticks out to me is Aparna Nancherla playing what is essentially the show’s Tina and  Louise lovechild of a character Moon Tobin, an animal identifying gender flipped peculiar savant-like child. She’s one of those comedians that I will always root for and appreciate whenever she pops up and I really hope that this show treats her right. She really elevates the material. Everyone else does just fine. The first episodes and first seasons of any sitcoms are rarely all that innovative or memorable so I am certainly going to allow this show to grow on me.

For the time being, this first episode of the Great North is deserving of Two Sexy Moose Antlers out of Five Forced Pop Culture References