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tbhimnoteasyonmyself · 3 months

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WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH PHEE?

(and other equally puzzling things)

An EXTREMELY EXTENSIVE Post-Episode 10 Analysis/Theory

So, okay. Episode 10 was A LOT. Like... A LOT, A LOT. And a lot of this lot seems... Weird as fuck. So many odd choices were made in the narrative.

Top's drugged manipulation; White pulling info about shrooms out of his ass; Fluke becoming a victim of involuntary drug abuse ghosts of his past and begging for mercy after "all he did to Non"... But nothing beats Phee's OOC moments in ep.10 while he's alone with Jin.

Which is what compels me to make this post. Because this series has been nothing but the richness of detail and now suddenly... It's all over the place? Call it wishful thinking (or Last Twilight trauma) but I don't think so. And it mostly comes down to: Phee. And whatever his "agenda" is.

PS: All screenshots of the show I use (and I will use a lot) will have been brightened because this show is FUCKING DARK, BOYYYYYY and I don't think y'all deserve to force your sight at 3AM to enjoy my posts.

WHAT HAPPENS AND WHY IT'S SUSPICIOUS

So? What does Phee say and do when he's alone with Jin in ep.10 and why am I suspicious of it?

It's hard to say for sure. But we can base ourselves off of 3 things: what we hear him say, what Jin replies to him and the flashbacks (no, they're not just there to fill in time for this very short episode, they serve a narrative purpose).

So let's do this analysis following the order in which things are shown to us, shall we?

First of all, we get a short flashback. The events are as follows:

Phee and New go to see the gang's film

New approaches Phee and they talk

New and Phee decide to try and figure out what happened to Non by infiltrating the group

New and Phee join the gang's school and start asking question

Jin decides to leave Thailand

New suggests going to Por's mansion for the goodbye party

Phee questions New in the lab about his decisions

New suggests using their homemade drug on the group as a truth serum

Phee asks if the drug is deadly and New denies it

Although we don't hear Phee tell this to Jin, Jin does reply very angrily something along the lines of "and you just let him carry on with it? why didn't you stop him? what the fuck is wrong with y'all???", so we can assume we've been shown what Phee told him.

So far, it's very unsuspicious. We've been shown these events before in the actual flashbacks so we can be fairly sure all of that is true.

It starts to get suspicious, however, when Phee replies to him: "There's so much more that you don't understand. About Non, and Tan".

And I think Jin feels the vibe too because, the man standing on his tall pillar of morality and righteousness /s, says he'll give Phee another chance to cut the bullshit and tell him everything. And so Phee sighs and the dreaded narration of ✨New's Murderous Adventures✨ starts.

So Phee tells Jin (and consequently us) that:

Phee and New set up a bunch of cameras to spy on the gang

New drugged the drinks

It was supposed to end when everyone was high at the party but New didn't follow the plan

New deleted the camera files

Phee kept drugging the group

Por's injury wasn't an accident but a trap that he thinks New set

New's drug enhances people's inner fears

Phee "never thought New would be so cruel with Uncle Dang"

New drugged Top at the temple

New must've left the hard disk for White to find

By the time he figured New's plan, there was nothing he could do about it (and we see him looking distressed at New's arrival at the house)

Now, here we have some interesting things. Let me list them for you.

Why would Phee keep drugging the group after Por got hurt?? If, as he claims, he didn't mean for people to get hurt, why would he keep people on drugs while a man is dying on the couch? Especially when the guy you're on a revenge mission with is ELIMINATING THE CONTENT OF THE CAMERA RECORDINGS!! That sure isn't gonna help anyone survive!

How does Phee know about Top??? He and Jin never saw Top arrive at the house. For all they know, that bro is lost in the woods. Right??

HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW WHITE GOT THE HARD DRIVE??? There's no signal in the woods. We've established that. When White tells Tee and New about his actions they're ALONE. The only other person there is LITERALLY THE MASKY (I'm calling the masked person that for convenience, it's shorter. besides, it seems the fandom has been calling them that anyways, so... yeah). So how does he know? How does he know???

And in that same fucking sequence: THE MASKY TRIES TO HURT NEW!!! Bu if New told Top to hurt everyone who hurt Non, why would he hurt him??? And why, my friends, WHY would he SAVE TEE, when he's the only witness of those events??? It would be so easy to just say the masky killed Tee and he couldn't save him... Is it 4D chess??? Is it a different masky??? Or, is it simply not true that New did that?

It's very confusing, weird and suspicious. But let's wait it out, guys, because there's more to PheeJin in the temple.

After this odd-ass narration, they're back to having a convo. Which goes as follows:

Jin (very validly) asks Phee what the fuck is wrong with him and New

Phee says he'd never allow them to go if he knew New was going for murder instead of just confessions ("you can hate me if you want but I never wanted anyone to get hurt, I swear" or whatever he said)

Jin asks if Tan is New and Phee is Non's boyfriend

Phee confirms Jin's suspicions and even adds that "p'New came back from England"

Jin asks if they ever saw the group as their friends

Phee says they wanted to infiltrate the group to find the truth because they didn't know shit about what happened to Non and it's haunting them (good choice of words there, very subtle /s)

Phee explains his motivation, stating he told Non to "get lost and die"

Jin confesses to recording the child grooming revenge porn tape and posting it on Twitter (-_-)

Jin explains his motivation, saying he respected Non's relationship (by constantly making moves on him?) but couldn't stand him cheating on Phee (so he one-upped him by committing not one but two actual severe crimes?)

Phee appears to be mad and disgusted so he says "Fuck. So we both were the ones who hurt Non?", gets up and starts pacing (oh no! the big boy is angy~~~ /s)

Jin gets up like a sad wet cat

Phee randomly finds an axe and takes some exposition out of his ass by stating "this must be Tan's axe that he keeps as a spare. But it's good"

Phee breaks the gate

So by this point Phee's whole speech sounds a bit insane, considering the type of person we've seen he is. Not to mention he just INSTANTLY calms down upon finding an axe and just decides to move on. Like ??? Excuse me??? If that ain't weird then idk what is. Like, sure, Phee is a very confusing and confused character (as better explored by @crysta1ized in this post). He seems to have his heart divided between many things and they could all be pulling at his strings there. HOWEVER, we have to remember Phee's also THIS guy:

Does this look like the kind of person who would just move on after a (perceived) treason? Does he??

And, the thing about this is that it gets worse.

After the scene cuts back from the house, Pheejin are lost in the damn woods (parallels to New and Tee? mayhaps, man, mayhaps...) These are the events there:

Phee is back to supporting Jin's weight with his body while they walk (which makes no fucking sense bc Jin hurt his SHOULDER which is a part of his UPPER BODY so there's no reason why he couldn't walk on his own but okay, sure)

They make no progress walking for a while, even despite trying to mark the places they've already been at

Jin is very upset that Phee's not very good at navigating through unknown forests at night

Phee, however, is very understanding and says: "Jin. I told you that I would be the one who would protect you. So I'll get you out of here" then PROCEEDS TO HOLD HANDS with him and continues with: "Right now, our friends are waiting for us to help them. So, you must stay strong. Believe in me"

Jin nods (because, despite trying to play the apathetic bitch, he's a softie and very much has feelings™)

PheeJin finally find the exit of the fucking forest

DO Y'ALL SEE HOW SOMETHING'S VERY WRONG WITH PHEE HERE??? Bro's not just acting weird (that would be fine, we love weirdos. *looks at New and winks* <3), he's abnormal. He's not acting like himself.

So, before I jump into trying to make some sense out of all of this, I'll just add the last scene of PheeJin alone in ep.10, last anyone come tell me I missed it:

They're arriving at the mansion

Jin falls down

Phee abandons the axe to help him

I don't think this one is particularly relevant to analyse Phee's character in this episode (although the axe is certainly relevant for other plots and our dear 9th person) but it's there. After this, they're back in the house with everyone and Por's rotting corpse.

PHEE IS HIDING THINGS

So what the fuck happened, really? Well, a lot. Some are easier, I think, to interpret, some aren't but regardless, there was a lot going on with Phee. To make this very complex thing a bit easier to understand, I'll start from the things I think are a bit easier to explain and/or are more solid and then I'll move from there towards the rest of this mess. Okay? Ok- (gets shot bc I hate John Green).

One thing for me that's nearly set in stone is that Phee, at the very least, isn't telling Jin everything. If he was, then the flashbacks would've started with PheeNon's falling love montage but they don't. They start at the cinema. Plus, Jin has to ask if Phee is Non's boyfriend and Tan is New, like he's piecing things by himself. If Phee had told him that, he wouldn't need to ask. AND Phee would've have referred to New as New during his whole monologue but he did not. He kept saying "Tan". He only started doing so after Jin asked the question and he confirmed Tan was New.

Curiously enough, he also never mentions the antidote he knows exists and KNOWS New brought along. And that neither of them ever used on the others.

The million-dollar question here is then, naturally: why? Various reasons, I believe.

1st of all I think we have to account for the feels. Phee is definitely in a weird ass zone with Jin but it's something. And he feels that something (whatever it is. believe me I could make an entire post about that shit, it's so fucking complex, man, and it only gets worse this episode). He likes Jin, even if he tries not to or if he dislikes that he likes him. It's undeniable. So yes, of course, he doesn't want Jin to hate his guts more than necessary.

But also... We cannot forget why Phee himself is there: to find out what happened to Non. And what does he get out of the conversation he has with Jin? That's right. A confession.

Now, I don't think it's the confession he expected if his reactions are anything to go by:

I mean... If this is not the face of a man thinking "well, shit", then idk what it is. And also because, idk if it's a subtitle error or not, but he seems to ask "what did you three do?" when he's inquiring about the events of the past, so...

Someone is being excluded.

Still, I think it's super possible he was hoping to get something out of it. After all, even if he assumes Jin is innocent in his actions, I don't think he's excluding him from having knowledge of what went down. That would make his positive bias even sillier.

So yeah, sure, I bet Phee feels genuinely guilty and it hurts him to be in the situation he's in and he definitely wants to be in a good place in terms of his relationship with Jin, especially because, as he said, he doesn't know if they can get out of the temple. But also... As Ta (Phee's actor) himself said in an interview: Phee can be really manipulative (I can't find the damn interview rn but, during my search, I found @raelle-writing had also mentioned it in this post, so I think it's enough to say I didn't dream that shit). You know... 2 things can be true at once.

Which brings me to the next part:

PHEE IS LYING

That whole talk of "I never thought he would hurt you", "if I had known I wouldn't have let you come", blah, blah, blah. That's some major BULLSHIT.

Phee knew exactly what New was capable of. At least, on a subconscious level. After all, if my friends started being murdered, my 1st assumption would not be that my best friend did it. Unless, of course, my best friend was spiralling down to madness, constantly using drugs to see his dead brother and answering shit like this:

With a smirk on, when I ask him if the absynthe is gonna kill our friends. Because yeah, sure, I guess the green won't kill them. But you can't tell me this motherfucker wouldn't. He definitely would. And if we can infer that, so does Phee, who has been living with him as his close friend for the last 3 years.

In fact, the very fact that he feels the need to ask whether or not the drugs will kill the gang is proof enough that he, to some extent and, whether or not he's aware of it, KNOWS that's, at least, a possibility. Knows that's something New would do.

So yeah, he's perhaps not just lying to Jin (but also to himself) or not intentionally lying, but he's lying nevertheless. Phee knew this was a possibility. He knew New was capable of stuff like that. And when he pieces the story together, that's him admitting, even if no one realizes, that he knew it. And that he let it happen, in fact, because he never tried to stop the drugging. Or talked to New about what was going on (you'd think if he had that he would've told Jin in that situation). His biggest weapon is his knowledge and he chose not to swing the sword sooner. How very Fluke of him, isn't it? Especially because now 2 people are dead and that's on New, right? Right???

Not necessarily.

NEW IS NOT A MURDERER (initially)

You see, for all we see New is fine with death and murder in episodes 9 and 10, he makes it clear his nº1 goal is to figure out what happened to Non when he gets in front of a fucking firearm to harass Tee into talking.

So why would he talk Top into murder? Why would Top attack him?? Why would he kill Uncle Dang?? And why, on the goddamn Earth, would he eliminate the recordings in the house when his whole motivation is

(Thank you, hallucination Non <3) to expose them??? Especially when the only other person who knew about the hidden cameras was Phee. It makes no sense! Sure, he might've contemplated the murder, but on a later phase of the plan, I think. The priority was, always, to get them to confess on camera so he could later use the recordings to expose them to the country and clear Non's image. 'Cause we cannot forget, while the people close to Non don't buy the bullshit TV news sensationalist story (and, therefore, are searching for the truth), the rest of the country thinks Non is a slut who ran away with mafia money and his teacher (because, like @delululover explains in this post: Asian culture tends to normalize grooming of older teens and even blame them for the situation).

So what are we seeing when Phee narrates the events? Well, probably just Phee's guesses.

He thinks New is deranged and has drugs and that Top is missing and now they're being attacked by this person, who is conveniently wearing a mask. So he guesses that's Top. Plus, he doesn't know New was attacked by Masky in the middle of the forest.

He knows, like everyone else, that New had the hard drive. And, when Top and New go out in the woods with the bike he remains in the house. So, it's possible he saw the hard drive there where New left it before he went out.

And, because the only 2 people remaining in the house, as far as Phee knows, are Fluke and White, and New DEFINITELY wouldn't want the drive to get into Fluke's hands, he must've assumed New wanted White to find it (which may or may not be true but it's irrelevant, I think).

And, yes, calm down, I can hear you scream: "But how did he know White watched the video???" And the answer I bring you is very simple: he didn't. He has no idea. And the best part is: you only think he knows because you know. But Phee never says that. He says New left the hard drive there for White to find. And that's it. He never mentions a video whatsoever.

Now, is it convoluted? Yes. Absolutely. But we have to think this is Phee we're talking about. He's the guy who always thinks he has the upper hand (a.k.a thinking he can save Non or that he's not falling in Love with Jin). It's almost impossible for him to think he's in the dark as to what is happening to them. After all, in his narrative of his life, he is the hero. And, I know, lots of people in the fandom see it that way as well, so... It's not impossible to imagine that's what the story is trying to sell us. It's trying to make us believe Phee knows. When in reality, I think, it's more likely that Phee's the embodiment of this meme:

Okay. But then if New didn't do it, then who did? Because something is obviously going on with Top, right? And Uncle Dang IS very much dead. So what the fuck is that all about?

THE SECRET 9TH PERSON? ENTITY? THING?

As discussed several times by several people in this fandom, there's a very high possibility that there's someone else with them in the woods.

@blmpff points out the existence of various versions of the mask here. @subtextsays points out the crutches in the bathroom scene with Top here. There's this shit:

Whatever it fucking means (besides the fact that it gives me the hibbie jibbies). Someone is also obviously taking care of the Janta cult because there's fresh food in the offerings.

@raelle-writing also points out here that New is also seeing stuff even though our favourite insane motherfucker has got (and has been using!) the antidote.

And, as of episode 10, as @babyangelsky pointed out in this post, when PheeJin are lost in the damn woods, the cuts on the wood Phee supposedly make keep changing.

Which makes both of us question if they're all the same cut or even all done by Phee.

So, I think this is enough to speculate Phee could very much just be misinterpreting the whole thing and attributing guilt to New when, in fact, someone else has been causing the deaths.

Now you may question who and that's all very fair. You should even. But that is not what this post is about and, frankly, thank god, because this is already a monstrous creation.

So let's pick these cuts in the wood and use it as a segway to the last part of this, shall we?

PHEE IS AS BENEVOLENT AS A GREEK GOD

So Phee's mad. Super mad. He's passing around and cursing.

Jin, the only person he probably genuinely thought didn't do anything, is the one who recorded and posted the video.

And then Phee finds an axe. And, suddenly, Phee changes. Why?

Well, we have to look at it with what urges Phee to talk in the first place (besides his feelings and his wants): Phee is losing hope. He states it himself that he doesn't think they're going to be able to get out of the temple. So, he talks. Sure, he doesn't say everything but it's the closest to being honest with Jin we've ever seen him be.

And then their whole reality changes. Because Phee found an axe. And it all comes down on him: they are going to get out of there. And what now?

As @yellingaboutkp states in this post Phee is not only hard to read for us or confusing to the other characters (Jin mainly). He's also hard to read and confusing to himself: "...is Phee still playing Jin? It seems like he's trying to, but the more time he spends with Jin, the harder it's getting to stick to the plan."

Thus, what we see at the end of their time in the temple and alone in the woods is a mix of things, I believe.

Phee needs to feel like he's in control again. And with the original plan being ruined and Jin knowing too much (and there's no way he's not gonna speak, in fact, it's the very first thing he does when they arrive at he house) he's simply not. So when he tells Jin everything is gonna be alright, he's also trying to tell that to himself. He's trying to reassure himself that they're gonna get out of that huge mess. And, perhaps, in saving Jin also finding some redemption because, according to his own narration of the events, he let New go too far (as Jin points out).

Phee also knows more now. And maybe, if he was able to get Jin to speak once, without even having to force anything out of him. who knows if he cannot do it a second time in front of the cameras they've set inside the house? So he's trying to follow the script and manipulate him into trusting him, like he always has been trying to do. Except this time he's more bitter about it. And this, alongside with reason 1, is why these two scenes feel so different:

And lastly: Phee knows the catastrophic effects his words and actions had on Non when they broke up. He knows the consequences of his rage. It's the entire reason why he's there. Because he failed at being a good boyfriend the 1st time. Does he really want that to happen again? Does he want to fail Jin too? There's a reason (besides the story itself and his need to justify himself to Jin) why we see that flashback of his break-up with Non in this episode. And I believe this is it. (so yeah, I understand it might be frustrating to see Phee be more benevolent to Jin who fucked up big time than Non who didn't do anything, it is EXACTLY because he wasn't benevolent to Non that Jin is getting princess treatment)

So, in conclusion: Phee is fucking confused. And it carries on being that way for the rest of the episode. Phee calls New out but he doesn't seem to care too much about Por being dead on the couch. He helps Jin on the ground, but he doesn't say a thing about Fluke pointing a gun at Tee. Sure, he does ask for the gun at a certain point but isn't that just more of Phee's desperate need to get control back?

And we see this all come down to the preview of the next episode and what it's probably going to mean:

Phee finally has got things under his control again. But this means, surprise, surprise, that Phee's gotta make a choice: to shoot (and stand on New's side) or not to shoot (and stand on the gang's side). Which, of course, metaphorically is a choice, in good romance and BL fashion, between 2 lovers: Non and Jin. But also, in good storytelling, as, once again, @raelle-writing (can't help myself, Rae's posts are FIRE 🔥🔥 sksksksksks) explores better in this post: a choice between the past and the present; continuing to drown in grief and a wish for revenge or choosing to move on and heal.

And, as I (YES, if I'm gonna tag a bunch of people and their works, YOU BET, I'm gonna link my own stuff) explore in this post about White's identity and role in the story (and other people in the fandom have commented as well), I'm inclined to believe he's gonna pick the gang, Jin, the present, healing. Because this is a story about the damage caused by cycles of violence and grief. And a story about how, the only way to stop them, is to choose not to participate in them by letting go.

(and also because we already have characters who represent different choices like Non, who was always stuck in the future because he kept getting deeper and deeper into shit, thinking tomorrow would be better; or New, who is very obviously stuck in the past, unable to let go of the things he didn't do, the things he didn't prevent and only ends up losing more and more as a consequence)

CONCLUSION

Thank you for your time and attention. Feel free to comment and discuss this with me. And I'll see you either on my next long-ass monologue or next Saturday as we watch episode 11!

All the love 💜💜💜

PS: Shout-out to the group chat, including, but not limited to: @ayansbff, @cyberstalking and @squishysquadstuff who have listened to me ranting about this post since Saturday and told me to eat when I was too focused on writing it. Your patience was fundamental in carrying me through this monstrous project (it took me 10 hours to write all this) 💜💜💜.

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ellesliterarycorner · 2 years

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Writing Scenes Out of Order

Gonna be honest with y'all, I have never ever written a story completely in order. I am actually incapable of doing that. Even though I write the most detailed outlines known to man before I even think about writing, I still can’t write the scenes in order. I swear by this because I sincerely believe that writing scenes out of order increases my productivity which I’ll talk about later. Even if you haven’t done this before, I recommend everyone try it at least once, so without further ado, here are a few reasons that you should write your stories out of order.

You Can Write The Ending First

When you write your scenes in order, generally that means that you’re going to write the ending last. In my experience, the ending is one of the most important things in your story, so I recommend that even if you write everything else in order, always write the ending first. Writing the ending first always gives you a light at the end of the tunnel. It gives you a destination to eventually reach. Even when you feel like your story is going absolutely nowhere, it allows you to go back and see what you want the ending to look like from the beginning which should help your motivation and hopefully lessen that pesky writer’s block!

Oh, Those Continuity Issues

Continuity issues are the absolute worst. I can never seem to remember the way that I described stuff at the end of the book when I’m writing everything back at the beginning. One thing that does get frustrating about writing scenes out of order, is keeping up with continuity like what season it is, what characters have already met, and even who is alive and dead at certain points. Writing scenes in order eliminates these issues because you are writing everything in the order that it happens. I would most definitely recommend keeping an outline or at least a sheet of notes when you’re writing scenes out of order, so that you can keep yourself organized and lessen the continuity issues that you have to go back and fix in later drafts!

You Can Follow Your Inspiration

I plot every scene out extensively, but if I do have an idea for a scene, I immediately write it down and worry about where it fits into the story later. For me, this increases my motivation because at least I'm writing something even if it wasn't in my original outline. Every story has scenes that aren't the most interesting, and as writers, those can be the hardest scenes to write. Especially if you write all of the interesting scenes first, you won't have anything to look forward to when you're struggling through the more transitional parts of the story. This is just my opinion, but whenever I write in chronological order, my motivation goes down a lot. I like writing whatever scenes I want to write instead of writing what comes next in the story. Knowing that I can write whatever scene I want to next makes me super excited about writing

Sprinkle In That Foreshadowing

Y’all know how much I love me some well done foreshadowing. It’s simply one of the best things about reading and writing. But, writing foreshadowing can be really complicated if you aren’t sure how the story ends or even how the foreshadowing will fit into the story later. Because I normally write the ending scenes first, when I finally get around to writing the beginning scenes, I can easily sprinkle in little bits of foreshadowing or allusions to later scenes. It also helps me not overly foreshadow anything because I can go to the end and make sure I'm not doing too much.

#writers #writers on tumblr #writersofinstagram #writerscorner #writing #writing tips #writing things #writing tip #writing advice #writing resources #writing resoure #writing refernece #writing references

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bobosbillionsknives · 2 months

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i agree with a lot of your points about knives, i do also think he is aroace of some kind (demi imo), but the way he ignores bodily autonomy wasn't a theme that was new to stampede. the way he consumes other plants and forced vash to use his angel arm are examples of it, though less explicitly 'sexual'. either way, his actions weren't born out of sexual attraction, he simply thinks that all plants are an extension of himself and he can use their bodies as he pleases since its for a 'greater purpose'. he is not a predator but he isn't innocent either

Oh no no no no no no no I do NOT wanna give the impression that I am genuinely defending knives is ANY way. 😭

I completely agree with everything you're saying. He is inarguably abusive. Saying he's not would be a wild ass claim to make. 🙏 My only argument here is that it isn't specifically sexual, but I'll get more into that in a bit. 😝 I have SO MUCH to say abt this...so I'm gunna use this as an excuse to word vomit on y'all. Thank you for bringing this to me I am itching.CRAVING to talk about my favorite girls always. 🤗💖

INSANE ESSAY POSTING LETS GOO !!!

I think your point on Knives seeing the plants as an extension of himself is SPOT ON!!! He does the same thing with Vash too. He's doing it because hes so stuck up his own ass he seriously thinks there is no possible way he could ever be wrong, everyone else is just too blind or stupid to see it his way. That's why he does the whole "eternal suffering for Vash the Stampede" bit. He genuinely cannot comprehend that Vash just fundamentally disagrees with him. He thinks if Vash goes out and sees every horrible thing a human can be he'll finally give up the hippy dippy act and face this false reality Knives made up as a coping mechanism so he never has to actually face any of his problems. Cause stabbing all your problems away is waaaaay easier than actual growth or change. Top ten girls who are trapped by the horrors of their past 😂!

Knives has a blatant misunderstanding of people's worth outside of himself. He disregards the lives of others constantly, he literally murdered 20 mil+ and was genuinely confused when Vash was mad at him for it. He doesn't take anything seriously. He especially doesn’t take physical pain seriously, unless it’s happening to himself. [DID YOU ACTUALLY SHOOT ME!!?] He's said that he knows none of the crazies he sends after Vash can ever kill him. He thinks if they can't kill him, then none of the hurt Vash experiences during these fights really count. Its always a game to him. He knows Vash will be fine because he has faith in his ability to fight. (He's complimented his fighting skills several times lol.) Yet he’s consistently shocked and disgusted when he sees Vashes scars, like he didn’t play a role in that ??? He just never thought of it until it was literally staring him in the face.

HE THINKS EVERYTHINGS A DAMN GAME !!!!!

Knives never really wants to force Vash to agree with him either, he's literally waited decades for him to come around to his point. He's definitely lashed out violently before, and has disregarded his safety. But I don't think he actually even likes seeing Vash in pain 😭 (maybe a little in a Itoldyouso brother kinda way lol.) He's completely horrified when he sees his scars. This panel speaks absolute VOLUMES to me. He is angry that Vash would allow people to hurt him this much. (Bro is for sure a victim blamer 🥱 Vash OBVIOUSLY should've known humans are evil and would do this to him. 🙄 HIS FAULT !) Those scars solidify in his mind that his brother is reckless, and clearly doesn't know what's best for himself. That's why he feels the right to "save" him from humans. Knives out of anyone in the world knows how much Vash disregards his own life. He's angry that his own brother would choose the perceived violence of humanity instead of the safety he has worked SO hard to cultivate for over a hundred years. After everything they learned from their childhoods, Vash would have to be deaf and dumb to keep crawling back to them. (From his perspective anyway.)

Everything Knives does he thinks is to better Vashes life. That's what makes him such a tragic character to me. He genuinely believes he's in the right and doing everything he has to so him and his brother can feel that safety that was never guaranteed to them in childhood. He loves Vash, (PLATONICALLY !!!! 😰) He wants Vash to be happy. He just doesn't understand why, that despite everything, living alongside the humans is what makes him happy. Something he only accepts at the end of trimax when he literally trees himself to assumed death so Vash could have that. Knives is unambiguously in the wrong, but I do think his thought processes are sympathetic. WRONG. But like .I get it girl. Besides, he acts more like a toxic mother than anything. How DARE you be so ungrateful after everything I've ever done for you that you've never even asked for. ✋😒 and EXPLICITLY told me not to do. Ugh. 🙄 you don't even love me…guess im just a terrible brother than huh…🥀 BITCH SHUT UP !!!!

Now about the asexuality, not only...do I think Knives is aroace. I think he's completely sex REPULSED!!!!! Sex is a mark of human degeneracy, animals clinging for power over each other. Hed think hes above it !! It would disgust him, I don't think he's ever had a sexual thought in his life. He’s also a Jesus freak he'd think procreation in general is a sin 🙄‼️ik his interpretation of the bibles gotta be INSANE. Exploring sensuality is like a normal and healthy thing to do no fucking WAY Knives is self aware enough to do all that. If he could experience any kind of libido, his hatred of humans would never allow him to explore it anyway. Since sex is such a huge part of human culture. He probably thinks consensual sex is a myth humans made up to assault each other easier…😭

this is literally him bro I can't see him any other way...🚬 He's literally a pearl clutching mom who refuses to understand anyone else's experiences because he doesn't understand them.

I can't imagine him being able to feel romantic love either...I actually think it would be pretty out of character ngl. Plus I think it could be an interesting element of why he feels so disconnected from humanity in general. It would be part of why he feels the need to define himself as alien. Knives would rather die than admit this, (and he did) but all he's ever wanted was understanding. The same way Vash does. Knives doesn't understand sexuality/romance, or deep empathy, or most social confinements at all. That's clear by his inappropriate emotional reactions and lack of a filter. He can't feel emotions the same way Vash or Rem can. It makes it very difficult for him to relate to and connect with others. Especially Rem. He feels too wrong, too broken, too alien. But he's convinced himself that this is actually a superiority. So he can sleep at night. But he's far more human than he'll ever be willing to accept. The familial love he feels for Vash is the only thing that makes him feel normal. And it's why he clings to it so desperately. I think that feeling being explicitly familial makes the most sense for the story.

(cut for explicit talk of SA/CSA)

Im never one to dismiss bad actions from a fictional character. If I thought Knives was a sexual abuser, id say it. I even considered it before I watched/read Trigun and kept it in mind the whole time because of how prevalent of a take it is. If anything, I feel like theres more evidence for metaphorical depictions of Knives BEING sexually abused than being the sexual abuser. I mean his literal whole thing is how plants bodies are used and abused against their will. Solely for the humans gain. While it's slowly and painfully killing them. And how afraid he is that they'll do it to him too....😭 He would be absolutely HORRIFIED by SA. I just don't think it's an abuse he'd perpetuate. It goes against literally everything he stands for. I get he’s a hypocrite and all but I could just never see Knives of all people doing anything sexually ever. ESPECIALLY for his own pleasure.

Both Vash and Knives read to me as CSA victims. This would need to be a separate post all together because there is entirely just too much to say. But I feel very strongly about this interpretation and it's why I'm so firm on this. Sexual abuse is a huge theme in trigun OBVIOUSLY!! And Vash and Knives can easily represent different ways people cope with trauma like that. Knives gets angry, and bitter, and lashes out. While Vash shuts himself off, and tries to run away from it all. Two extremes from two brothers. Two sides of the same coin and all that. They've been victimized, I think it's the main reason why Knives would be so angry and distrustful of humans. Now I know Steve was kind of a throw away character from the anime- but I believe long term interpersonal abuse from a human early in life would explain a lot of the deep rooted hatred Knives has for humanity. Along with his hatred for Rem if she failed to protect them, and his deep sense of entitlement to protect Vash if Vash couldn't protect himself. (Tesla was the last straw for Knives bc at least for a while he thought he could trust Conrad till all that happened and he realized the only person he could ever trust was Vash, and that fear never really left him even 100+ years after.) (My interpretation of Conrads role is also a different post gerrrrr TOO MUCH TO SAY.)

Knives' ideology has always been inconsistent, I can easily see him disregarding autonomy in some ways but refusing to in others and never making a mental connection between the two. Plus Knives would think Vashes scars are shameful and disgusting. He probably cant even make himself look at him let alone touch him be so fr. Knives' definitely has an unhealthily attachment to Vash but not in a sexy sex or ROMANCE way 🤦‍♂️ ITS JUST HIS BPD YA’LL 😝‼️#favoriteperson #extremefearofabandonment #vashkeepsleavinghim (also another separate insane essay post) there is no argument here that Knives isn’t extremely bad at emotional regulation. Familial/platonic dynamics like that happen literally all the time it’s just not evidence of anything to me. I can't even see Knives directly punching someone let alone be capable of sexual violence against his own BROTHER ? I'd argue he's far more verbally/emotionally abusive than he ever is physically anyway. He doesn't even kill directly, it's always either done without a second thought by his powers, indirectly by starving the population out, or by making other people do it for him. He doesn't seem to actually enjoy seeing people in pain, more the satisfaction of a job well done. I don't see why this wouldn't apply to Vash too? He doesn't even usually initiate their physical fights. Vash does. (He has every right to, for the record. Knives just doesn't comprehend why Vash would be mad so he always tries to talk like everything is normal. Lol.) And when they are fighting he always puts his hand on his face ?? More annoying than a direct indication of violence. He could just punch him or something but he doesn't? Like violence in Trigun isn't a thing known to happen. Idk I think that's interesting and worth exploring a bit yk ???

Obviously he chopped his arm off I'm not saying he's innocent there either, just that he's more likely to be emotionally manipulative than explicitly interpersonally violent LOOLL. He didn't chop off his brothers arm because he enjoyed it, to him that pain is neutral. It was just a super casual reminder. But SEXUAL violence is completely different, sure it'll leave scars but you can heal from physical pain all day and night I mean commooon it barely even COUNTS as real pain. (Because he rarely has to experience it.) (A certain someone's got a major empathy problem.) And if it kills you it doesn't matter cuz you're already dead 😝!! But SA is different. It's his worst fear and greatest agony. It's something he knows sticks with you your whole life, he doesn't think that's a wound capable of being healed. (So he never tries and chooses to live in constant fear and anger instead.) That's how I see it anyway...🤕 Again it's not like he's a reasonable guy he is known to be a bit unstable idk if u knew...

Actually if anything, I think Vash would be the more interpersonally violent of the two. (Vashes abuse is always reactionary tho he would never act like that if Knives would just be normal lol he is not the aggressor here.) I can't see Knives punching Vash but I could VERY easily see Vash punching Knives ykwim ??? (For trimax anyway, ik kid Knives beats the shit out of him in 98 which I DO think is funny. But I don't accept into my personal canon okay LISTEN we are talking about a lot of conflicting characterizations here. JUST HEAR ME OUT. ✋) Knives never even really blames Vash for BLOWING HIS LEGS OFF in July too, which I always thought was so interesting. It makes me think this is actually a common thing for them to the point that they don't even argue about it outside of "are you actually aiming at me again 🙄?" Which is more bitchy than angry. Like ugh I can't believe you. Typical, typical Vash. 🥱 He'd probably use it as a way of proving to him that they are the same. And despite denying it, Vash would actually agree and feel a deep sense of shame abt it. He's had 150 years of pent up anger after all. He almost killed him with a rock once lol. I'm tired of everyone woobifying Vash as some kind of perpetual uwu victim. Vash is fucking mean sometimes. He is just as capable of violence as Knives is. The same way Knives is just as capable of great kindness. It is known that Vash is in fact physically STRONGER than Knives. (With his plant powers and id assume in general because Vash actually goes outside while Knives reads in his garden all day.) I truly believe that the only reason Knives ever wins the sibling fights is because of Vashes constant hesitance. He's not a battered wife stereotype. All Vash wants is control over his own life, the last thing he'd want to see himself as is a helpless victim. It's why he always pretends nothing is ever wrong with him. It's why he doesn't accept help, and values other people's problems far above his own. His kindness was always an active choice and that's why he's such a powerful character. And Knives would bring out the absolute worst in him LOOL all that work he's done to better himself is instantly thrown out the window the second Knives' very punchable face walks in the room.

He was fighting absolute demons not to run over and beat tf out of Knives in this panel

This is why I feel so disgusted by stampede and the way they handled their relationship. They've dumbed down these characters to the point that they are unrecognizable. Literally every aspect of stampedes portrayal of them feels like a first conclusion based on a synopsis of their goals and personalities. I get there's only one season but that's a LOT to fuck up in one season bro. 😭. There is absolutely no salvaging Nai as a character for me. I'd cover my drink around that guy I find him genuinely repulsive. At least with trimax, you can read around an initial sussy reading if you wanted. How anyone defends Nai, I don't even know. That whole plant insemination thing is pretty on the nose y'all. Literally doesn't even make sense for him to do that like? Why would he want more independent plants??? It's like they tried to make Knives' motivations make sense when the whole point should be that they don't. He's fighting ghosts out of fear. Stampede wasn't even good enough to justify its own existence by how it looks. Adding peculiar plant pregnancy preggo fetish incest bait is just the turd on the turd cake. They ruined the most compelling part of the story for me. Pfft.... But whatever...🚬 not like I care ....🚬

Not to mention Legato y'all don't even get me started. The guy that HATES humans more than anything in the world taking in a HUMAN -SEX TRAFFICKING VICTIM. The one time he's ever taken pity on a human being and it was someone who was the victim of a violent sex crime. Yeah guys that dude. Total raper. Defo a brother diddler. What the fuck are we talking about right now y'all. I genuinely feel like sexual violence would be the last thing knives would ever do ever. I understand that there are sus scenes in the manga that could be interpreted this way, but considering the many themes in Trigun and his place in the story as a whole, I think it is such a misrepresentation. And it frustrates me to see it as one of the only things talked about in regards of his character. If I could, I'd rewrite every scene in the world so people could understand what I see, but I can't. And I know I can't control how other people see the media I like. Trigun is extremely interpretive, and I understand why this is a common conclusion. But I guess I just can't shake the feeling that it's more complicated than that. I have criticisms with trimax and ESPECIALLY 98. And there's obvi a lot id change to fit what I'd find most interesting. (Also why every headcanon revolves around Knives somehow teehee) BUUUUUT I do think all of my analysis is pretty based in canon. I can't stress how insane I am about this and how much I've thought about it 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕. Believe me, I've considered every obstacle. And I've stayed consistent.

Knives is a raper feels like the easy answer to me. To be completely blunt, it's just not as compelling. Vash and Knives would both have very complicated relationships with their bodies and sensualities and gender and their relation to their plantself and their humanself and blah blah blah whatever. I'd much rather explore that as a separate result of the same abuse than default to supercestsimulator69. Knives is already an abuser. Making him a sexual aggressor too doesn't really add anything to the story besides diminish and dumb down his very complex motivations. Vash and Knives should be very good friends who know each other better than anyone. (They are trauma bonded like CRAAAZZY, very codependent like y'all get it.) I think that would make their conflict SO much more interesting. While providing some great context to why Vash is so willing to give every horrible person he meets a second chance at life. If I saw my brother, who I love, and is my best friend in the whole wide world, slowly deteriorate under the pressure of the abuse we we're BOTH experiencing; go fucking crazy and kill everyone. And I KNEWW. He genuinely believed he was doing what he had to do to protect the both of us...I'd probably also give everyone the benefit of the doubt idk. Vash understanding Knives' motivations but still holding on to that (justified) resentment and anger is ESSENTIAAAL to their dynamic and also literally all of Trigun. Sexual abuse throws a rock in all of this. If anything I think Knives would tell Vash "I'm the only one who WOULDN'T assault you. They're human, they'll only see you for how useful you are. It's what they do. It's what you know they do. You're choosing them over me the same way Rem chose Steve over us." Knives' abuse is complicated and multifaceted, not just some gross display of power. He's not even the most power hungry character in the world. He's got a whole cult dedicated to him that he canonically IGNORES.

And he sure as shit doesn't respect people who are desperate for power over others!! He'd think he's above that too. Just more evidence of human deviance. (Like the scene in 98 where kid Vash and Knives are watching the humans fight over water. Animals who think one is more deserving of resources than the other.) He's narcissistic in the literal diagnosable sense but definitely not some kinda megalomaniac. I think that's a huge mischaracterization. He doesn't want to rule the world, he wants to destroy it. And he wants Vash to be his equal in this, he respects Vash. (as far as someone like Knives can respect anybody at all) He doesn't understand why Vash would choose to be so "dumb" because he's never allowed himself to feel the vulnerability of potential harm that Vash wants him to understand is worth it. It's why he locks himself away from the world, he's afraid of being victimized again. Knives' morals are all over the place, he genuinely doesn't think murder is bad but would consider sexual violence to be the worst thing anyone could ever do EVER. It's not like we're talking about the beacon of reason and consistency here y'all, Knives is cray cray sauce.

Anyway that's my thoughts, sorry this took forever to answer. 😿 And ended up being SOOO long.. I've on and off mauled over this writing and rewriting again trying to make any of my garbled thoughts make any sense. Hope it resonates with anybody at least bc I genuinely feel like I've been taking crazy pills lately LOOL. Take care of yourselves everyone. 💖 Never an easy subject to talk about.

#tw sa mention #theres more to say with knives and the plants too but thats an entirely different essay post LOLL #thank you again for the ask I was itching for some kind of excuse to get my thoughts together like this 😭🙏#my based takes #asks #vash the stampede #millions knives #trigun #ive been putting off posting anything else to force myself to finish this...sorray yaaalll.....hope it was werth it thoo....#do NOT let him talk about trigun yall. 😂 !! you'll never hear the end !!!!#trigun maximum

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joohanisms · 8 months

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Thinking about xdh (mostly gaon and jooyeon tbh) with a partner who is into being overstimulated

Like all of them would indulge you but gaon (a menace) and jooyeon (a munch) would be ready to test that out right then and there

OH. OH NOOOOOO WHY WOULD YOU AWAKEN THE JOOYEON THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD

xdh with a partner that is into being overstimulated 💭💫

cw: overstimulation, oral, fingering, mention of penetrative sex, dom/sub dynamics (punishments), edging, toys, mention of safeword, mention of squirting, mention of thigh riding

omg. i'll talk briefly about everyone but i'll leave jiseok and jooyeon for last because i have a lot of thoughts hehe

gunil

you would have to ask him to do it to you.

he's soooo respectful unless you ask him not to be LMAO

so as soon as you cum and ride it out, he'll usually stop.

unlesssssssssss........

you either tell him beforehand, before he even pulls his cock out, that you're in the mood to be overstimulated orrrrr....

you're getting close and between moans and whispers of his name, you tell him not to stop after you cum. to keep going, please, keep going.

jungsu

our polite boy!!

much like gunil, you'd have to ask.

i don't see him much as a punitive dom, but if you tease him enough (which is a LOT. he's really patient, especially when it comes to you), you might get overstimulated as a punishment.

i loveee punishments that are more like a treat because it's so obvious what you wanted it in the first place LMAO

so yeah maybe he has you riding his thigh while he holds a vibrator do your clit... maybe he's drilling into you and his thumb won't leave your clit... maybe he's fingering you nonstop on all fours, while he presses you into the mattress.... who knows!

seungmin

look he's a menace all right

even though overstimulating is not his favorite - seen as he's more of an edging guy - he really enjoys it.

likes to rile you up so badly that you barely need anything to cum, and even less to be overstimulated.

if you like a little pain-pleasure, he might give your clit a little nip after all is said and done. as a treat <3

hyeongjun

hmm jun was a little harder to write tbh... i don't see him being crazy about roughly overstimulating you, even though he DOES really like the red streaks your nails leave on his back

but his favorite form of overstimulating you is by making you cum with his fingers or his cock. letting you catch your breath slightly. and then moving down your body to lick you clean.

like, syrupy, honeyed strokes of his tongue - slow, lazy, tasting.

it's not like the rest of them, where overstimulating is more of an extension, if not a part of, sex. it borders on aftercare, with how soft he is.

it's never stimulation enough to make you cum again. just enough to drive you a little crazy.

(if you want more, though... just ask. he'll eat you out nicely <3)

jiseok

if you're into being overstimulated as much as he is into overstimulating, gaon would have a field day everytime you had sex. be it penetrative, oral, fingering, whatever.

he'd be soooooo delighted to overstimulate you in any way.

i think i've said before that he DEFINITELY has a vibrator.... yeah it would be one of your best friends fr

jiseok sees the vibe as an ally instead of an enemy (as all men should) and is soooooo okay if you ask him to use it on you when you want it a little rougher!!

(but tbh the first time you asked he did get a little pissy. all like oh am i not enough for you???? do you need more???? but that quickly escalated into overstimulating you out of spite

but dw i'm so sure that when you started having sex he would've gone over the Yes And No list of kinks and things you both like + set a safeword so that spite was.. mm.. calculated. and after that it just became a staple in your sex lives,

but anyways!! jiseok is completely fine with the vibe and any other toys he could use in his favor) (also omg have y'all ever thought about double penetration with him...... now you have)

when he's overstimulating you he will keep going until you physically push him away/say STOP or say the safeword (plus with time he'll pick up on your tells to know when it's time to stop so you won't even need to do anything <33).

and again, as much as all the other guys would indulge you, he gets such a kick out of making you give him all you have. he gets impossibly hot and bothered and hard.

if he comes and keeps playing with you, he gets hard again in record time.

the aftercare is always so good after he fingered four orgasms out of you <3 won't have you lift a FINGER!!

jooyeon

now our jooyeon our lovely boy

the first time he overstimulated you was by accident.

he was just sooooo focused on eating you out - and as we know he loves it and gets genuine pleasure out of it - that he barely noticed you had already cum and kept going until the hands tangled in his hair threatened to rip his locks out.

but he's not dumb!!!! he DID notice you came twice more before you pulled him away!!! do not think he'll let that slide!!

and so with playful mutual slutshaming, it became a thing <3

whenever you want to be overstimulated, just... let him be. don't pull him away, don't tell him to stop, just let him have his fill. believe me, he won't stop unless you stop him.

guy loves eating pussy what can i say

has made you squirt before and if he's feeling playful he will try his damn hardest to get you to do that again. well, he's playful until he actually gets his bangs wet. then he's so fucking horny.

does this thing with his tongue on your clit that if he makes you cum and keeps doing that, you're cumming again in the next 30 seconds. he loves it <3

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askganon · 6 months

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I'm really tired. I just transferred to a new university to study psychology and it has been the actual worst experience in every aspect. The two biggest issues are the fact that I am autistic and thusly have issues making friends, and that I have this god-awful professor in my counseling class.

This professor is OFF his rocker. He actively talks about the secret society he is in, trying to teach us preposterous things that have no place in that class or even the school at all. I could write a novel about every problematic thing he has said, but my most major issue with him is how he views and treats women, and continuously brings sexual topics up when they have no relevance to the course material.

He has disrespected his wife over the phone in the middle of class and then tried to justify his behavior using his gender, spoken extensively about what features men don't like on women such as makeup or plastic surgery. He says "natural" women are "healthy" (well-endowed) in either the chest or behind but not both, and are uneven in the chest. He specifically targeted my classmate, who was the only one wearing false eyelashes, to say that men don't like that either.

Another time he told us that women run the world because men are obsessed with us, that we are not oppressed at all, yet he turns around and tells us how women in the corporate world go commando under their skirts and sleep around to work up the corporate ladder. He says this in a way that puts women to shame for this as well.

This week, though, was completely different. His departure from the course material started with the extremely invasive question, "what do you remember about your transition to adolescence?" Again targeting that very same classmate. I blink and he is now telling us that the male experience during puberty is far worse than what women experience, basically saying that—excuse my bluntness—getting a boner in class is much worse than anything women go through, even turning to our singular male classmate for backup on this.

He also tries to tell us that its so so bad for boys because the girls actively try to touch them or make them "psychologically disturbed," as he worded so decoratively. What adolescent girl wants anything to do with that when she's going through her own problems? Since when were young girls going out of their way to trouble boys like this? I was actively trying to deter boys during this time.

I and the other two women in my class were disputing all of this, until our professor finally said, "I will just let that go over y'all heads cause you will never understand the male experience," to which I, shaking with rage, replied, "—and vice versa."

My mental health has been suffering severely, and much worse since this happened Monday. I had never felt such pure, primordial rage towards someone before. This man makes me feel not only objectified but also demonized. Last night was my breaking point, working on one of his assignments. I experienced the most intense mental breakdown of my life so far, and afterwards spent all but two hours of the night trying to cram the project that was due today.

I guess my point is that I would report him, but my school makes it nigh impossible to do so. I'm perpetually exhausted and I do not know if I can make it through the last two weeks of class. I want so badly to be petty and spiteful to his face, but for the most part I've controlled it.

I don't really know what I'm looking for by doing this. I guess I just want to know what you think? Apologies for the length of my message.

Such is the mentality I encountered often in my youth by Hylian men, and women, toward my sisters. They would lust after my sisters based on their attire and physique, while also attempting to demonize them and ostracize them for the exact same reasons.

In short, men are cowards who carry the darkest urges shamelessly, but are too prideful to admit the problem within themselves. Instead, the vilify women for their own indiscretions.

They will openly mock my Gerudo for their appearance, while desiring nothing more than to own their flesh in the most disturbing of ways.

This professor seems like a prime example of the Hylian males I encountered. But if this is the case, then so too is his weakness.

He has likely been thwarted in his past in his attempts to procure a mate to his liking, and due to his pride, he believes it is all of womanhood to blame, and not himself.

This one he singles out is likely similar to those he desired but could never obtain in his youth. As such, he blames all others for his own shortcomings.

Likely too with his mate. I would assume her physique does not fit the desires he now feels entitled to, and as such he makes her the target of his criticism.

But through all of this, he reveals a second weakness.

Fear.

He fears that which he cannot control, and women as a whole seem out of his grasp. Every slight, every jab, and every assault from his lips is but proof that he is afraid of what women are capable.

In the midst of a Gerudo warrior, this professor of yours would crumble like kindling to a flame.

Take solace in the knowledge that you are superior to this worm, for you are what he can never have.

#Ganondorf #Legend of Zelda

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chososbabymama · 11 months

Text

𝒫𝓁𝓊𝑔!𝐵𝒻𝒮𝓊𝑔𝓊𝓇𝓊♧~~~~

personal headcannons bc plug suguru puts me in H E A T ! ! ! :)

PlugBf!Suguru who gives you free flower. Has the BIGGEST pout on his face when he finds out you bought from other people before y'all got together. 'It doesn't matter if I met you 7 months later y/n, it's the principality of it!'

PlugBf!Suguru who buys you anything you need. You want a new bong? He buys you a pretty heart shaped piece w/ a bowl crafted into the shape of a rose. You needed a grinder cuz yours squeaked? He bought you an electrical one. You burnt a nail tryna light the blunt? He cashapps you $250 to get a refill.

PlugBf!Suguru who plugged you for the first time after you got his # from Shoko, there was something about you that made him so fuckin nervous that he accidentally gave you 3gs more than you asked for (you only wanted an 8th).

PlugBf!Suguru who is your self-proclaimed #1 fan. Reposts all your IG photos, shares your TikToks, he even got one of those lighter clips that attach to his pants and keeps a light w/ your face on it w/ him 25/8.

PlugBf!Suguru who pearls the blunt in a way that makes your stomach tight and your thighs clench.

PlugBf!Suguru who shuts down anyone who tries to flirt w/ him during a deal, 'no i dont wanna smoke a blunt with you, get out my car before i call my wife and have her show you whats good' Satoru lets out the ugliest laugh EVERY time.

PlugBf!Suguru who taught you everything you need to know; how to roll, how to scale, how to tell if the flower is synthetic, etc.

PlugBf!Suguru who has to go out of town sometimes to make drops so he leaves you with enough money and flower to keep you comfortable. If you needed anymore he'd send you however much you needed and make toji bring you a bag. If you buy from someone else while he's gone he'll catch such an attitude (big baby will still roll your blunts but he'll FS talk shit while he do it 'you wanna buy from other people? that's cool... why don't you break off my fingers and tell me to go fUCK myself while you're at it huh?')

PlugBf!Suguru who buys you the prettiest gold anklet with an 'S' to match his gold chain that has your initial on it. He got it for you when he first got in the game, saying it was 'only the beginning.' Since then Suguru has spoiled you in ways you'd never dreamed of, but that anklet? That anklet meant more to you than anything else.

PlugBf!Suguru who has sooooo many tattoos dedicated to you. He gets them on special occasions (anniversary, birthdays, holidays, etc. any reason he can find he'll do it). He has your anniversary on his ring finger, your lipstick on his lower back, scratch marks on one side of his back, and a bouquet of your favorite flowers right above his heart. With each one he shows you, you fall deeper in love.

PlugBf!Suguru who also makes a lot w/ his tattoo shop. People travel from across the country to get tatted by him. He's not just your only plug but your only tattoo artist as well. He'd had an extensive portfolio with a plethora of darkskin clients who had a hard time finding artists like you had. Suguru doesn't even consider people like that artists and refuses to work with people who can't tattoo dark skin. When asked why his response is always the same, 'why would I want to work with talentless losers who's terrible character is reflected in their subpar work? I could spend my time doing better shit like... smokin a blunt.'

PlugBf!Suguru who drops the blunt in shock when he learns you're Kento's cousin. Bloodshot eyes widen in shock when he's lookin at old family photos you brought out, completely ignoring the ember burning a hole into the rugs you JUST bought. ('whaT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T THINK IT WAS RELEVANT? I had a thing for you for fuckin WEEKS before I asked you out and that bastard knew-!')

PlugBf!Suguru who knew from the moment he met you, that you were someone to be loved, cherished, and desired. And he would stop at nothing to prove how dedicated he is to making you feel as special as he knows you are.

#jjk x black reader #anime x black!reader #getou suguru #geto suguru #plug!geto #jujutsu geto #jjk anime #geto hcs #geto jjk #geto jujutsu kaisen #black yn #black reader #black fanfiction #black femme

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moodywyrm · 11 months

Note

Do you have hc for farmhand! Sevika that are nsfw… cause I’m a whore

only writing this because I feel so unbearably needy and sub and touch-starved I'm crying. we got the full length yoga pants, hoodie, blankets 1 and 2, and all four stuffies on deck. chubby reader as usual. @pinknightsinmymind I have another contribution baby <3

she's absolutely a pleasure/service dom, most of the time. I imagine she does like to be the sub (emi has convinced of Sub Sevika), but that takes a lot of working up to. remember, she comes to the farm pretty closed off after a terrible stint in the city. at the beginning of y'all's sexual relationship, which is her first relationship where she's really, truly cared about her partner, she just needs to be able to take care of you.

fucking insatiable when it comes to giving head. I'm talking making out with your cunt, absolutely fucking soaked and sloppy, there is slick in her hair at this point. the first time she went down on you she came untouched in her boxers. honestly didn't even know she could do that, but finally getting to taste you and have you completely at her mercy after a fucking Year of pining? yeah she didn't stand a fucking chance.

after that, takes literally any opportunity to eat you out. doesn't care if your sweaty from fieldwork, it drives her fucking crazy. also doesn't care if you're hairy, baby loves hairy pussy. I said it and I stand by it. first time she sees your pussy, she goes a little bit insane because god you've been hiding this from her? y'all wanted each other for so long and she could've been shoving her face in between your thighs for how long? she's gotta make up for lost time.

doesn't let up until you've cum at least – at the absolute minimum – three times. anything less is a damn shame. needs to have you shaking and fucked out before she even considers letting you go. same thing applies to any other sexual act.

speaking of other sexual acts. her strap. holy shit her fucking strap.

dark purple. 7 inches. girth as all hell. veiny. can be a breeding strap. attached to an expensive leather harness that Sevika takes such good care of. even got special leather cleaner for it. also must add. she didn't have this one before she got with you. specifically picked this one out with you on one of your semi-regular trips to the city, alongside a few other toys. this one's her favorite though <3 next to the black strap that also has a side that goes in her <3

when it comes to fucking you with her strap, she always has to prep you. extensively. im talking at least an hour with her mouth and fingers, getting you all ready and worked up to take her. does she know you could probably take it sooner than that? yes. does she love the ritual of getting you so unbearably worked up that you cry and scramble to hold onto her when she finally pushes in? abso-fucking-lutely.

loves literally any position to fuck you in, but has a soft spot for missionary and having you ride her. for different but similar reasons.

missionary because she loves how you look beneath her, dependent on her, how she knows she can take care of you in this position. plus being able to watch your tummy squish when she manhandles you into similar positions like a mating press is just so fucking good for her.

riding her, whether she be laying down or sitting up, because she adores seeing you use her for your pleasure. it took a second for you to feel entirely comfortable being more commanding during sex, so whenever you want to ride her, she's so incredibly proud and horny. there's just something about having you astride her, taking your pleasure with no shame, no reservations. it's fucking beautiful, and she thinks you look like a goddess every single time.

loves scissoring with you, btw. always with her on top bc that requires some strength and why does she have it if she ain't gonna use it to make her pretty girl feel good. honestly didn't really consider scissoring when she was in the city, contrary to popular belief. mainly relied on oral and strap. meeting you was a fucking Revelation.

I mean it. she almost came the Second she pressed her pussy against your sloppy, warm, wet cunt, clit still throbbing from your orgasm. she doesn't know if any sensation will ever compare. fucking loves feeling you cum right against her, leaking all over her.

as hot and dirty sex can be between you two, it's also incredibly fucking intimate. this goes back to you being the first partner Sevika ever really got with that she truly, 100% was in love with, down to her fucking bone marrow. she needs to let you know that she loves you more than anything, and sex helps her do that. there's so much hand-holding, eye contact, hushed 'I love you's, kisses pressed against necks, etc. etc. everything she does, she does for you, and she needs you to know that. will even light candles for you, fucking you And making love to you in a pink-tinted room. nothing but the best for the love of her life.

that being said. baby fucking loves to take you around the farm. doesn't care how exposed it is. behind the greenhouse? check. behind the farmhouse? check. on the porch of the farmhouse? triple check. on the grassy patch above the pond? quadruple check. she does not care where it is, she just need her woman at all times, however you'll let her have you.

sometime she'll intentionally show off while she's working the farm, knowing just how needy it gets you. can't even begin to count how many times you bringing her lemonade on a hot day turned into you on your knees, dressed rucked up enough to stuff a hand down your panties as you ate her out, her big strong hands gently holding you against her cunt.

also loves your pretty lil dresses, you only started wearing them more when y'all got married and Sevika insisted on taking over the bulk of the farm work. Lets you play the pretty lil housewife, even though you still insist on helping around the farm. Anyway the dresses: yeah she fuckign adores them. loves it when you wear the off the shoulder ones with no bra, bc then she can just yank and expose your gorgeous tits, ready and waiting for her mouth.

also just. housewife kink. I will not elaborate at this time but im 100% certain of it.

farmer sevika smut! I will warn y'all now and by warn I mean but my foot down: this au is gonna have a lot of fluff. there will be smut, sure, but im a fluff girl to my core. this is basically my stardew valley fantasy. I hope y'all will love the fluff just as much as the smut.

#anon #arcane sevika #sevika x reader #sevika smut #sevika x reader smut #farm au! sevika

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starcrossedxwriter · 1 year

Text

Built for Love Part 5 (MBJ x Black Famous OC

A/N: just a really long chapter lol also realized I should start giving like dates so this is like late July 2015, one week after part 4. Enjoy!

Warnings: mentions of trauma, sex talk, healthy amount of fluff and angst

“So where are y'all going again?” Charlotte heard her brother ask.

She continued with her extensive makeup routine as she called back, “You know that nigga refuses to tell me?”

She studied her makeup in the mirror. She gave herself an encouraging nod. Despite the extensive effort it took, her beat looked natural and effortless. Michael always complimented her, from when she was fresh off a run and sweaty to when she was full glam. But she still wanted to look her best.

“Well, surprises are usually nice,” Lauren, their resident optimist, interjected.

Charlotte paused her visual survey of her look to poke her head out of her bathroom to throw Lo a side eye and eye roll.

“You know that bitch hates surprises,” Jazzmine, Charlotte and Jackson’s childhood best friend, chimed in.

Her friends were keeping her company and her anxieties in check as she got ready for her and Michael’s first date.

She questioned if they could even really classify it as a first date. After all, looking back, they went on a million dates before this one when they lived in Philly. But she supposed neither of them considered those dates at the time. So this was their first official date experience, where the intention was to start something fresh and new. Michael gladly took on the task of planning the evening, which both increased and decreased Charlotte’s anxieties for the night. On one hand, she did not have the worries of planning it and making sure it was fun. But on the other, she had all the anxieties about what the night would hold.

“I do!” And it was true, she did. However, she could tell Michael was the type of man who enjoyed surprises, giving and receiving them. But because Michael was so attentive by nature, he also struck her as a man who made surprises worth the anxiety. “But I trust him. So I know he isn’t taking us anywhere stupid. I just hope this outfit works,” she grumbled as she studied her body in the mirror.

With the precious little he told her, he let her know she did not have to be particularly dressed up. And that she should be prepared for some walking. That let her know it was not a standard dinner date, which she appreciated. So she opted for a bodysuit and black jeans. It showed off the right assets but would work for most activities that were not dinner. She pulled her tried and tested favorite chunky heels out for the night, knowing she could walk a few miles in those before her feet gave out on her.

“I don’t know though, Charlie. He always seemed like the sweet, romantic nigga. So, he’s gonna do this type of shit all the time.”

She nodded, though no one could see her. “Yea I get that vibe too.”

“But Charlie is a hopeless romantic at heart, underneath all that,” Lauren waved her hand in the air to signify all the baggage. “She just needs the right guy to be romantic to her.”

“Fair. And she’s soft too so they are perfect for each other,” Jazz agreed, Charlotte letting out a gasp of annoyance from the bathroom. “I give it two weeks and you’ll be in love with all that romantic sappy surprise shit.”

“Y’all don’t know me as well as you think!” Charlotte called to them as she rounded the corner of her bathroom. She did a spin for the group. “What do we think?”

“Perfect.”

“Your ass looks amazing. He’s definitely gonna want to fuck when the night’s over.”

All of the girls busted out laughing at Jazz’s vulgarness, Jackson’s face immediately twisting up in disgust.

“Sometimes I think y’all forget I’m her brother and that I’m here too. I don’t want to hear that shit.”

“Close your ears then!” Jazz shot back. “Operation ‘Finally Get Charlie Girl Slutted Out’ finally commences.”

Charlotte put a hand over her face in embarrassment, her cheeks blushing slightly at her vulgarness. It was not a surprise that sex was her first thought. One thing Jazz was always going to do is take it there.

“That is not a real thing!” Charlotte shook her head. “We are not giving my sex life an Operation name like it’s a fuckin secret mission.”

Jazz scoffed. “Sorry boo. Too late. LoLo and I started this mission like six months ago.”

Lauren’s shoulders shrugged empathetically as she mouthed sorry.

“Traitor!”

“But seriously… when you gon’ let him fuck you senseless?”

“Jazz! My brother is right there.”

“I turned off my ears. Not listening!”

“Aint nobody worried bout that nigga. Stop avoiding the question.”

Charlotte’s shoulder leaned against the door frame. She picked at her nails as she thought about it.

“I dunno. We almost did it the other night. But he said he felt like it was too haphazard, which I didn’t disagree with. But now I kinda wish we had just done it then.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I think I’m gonna lose my nerve! Like the more I think about it and what it’ll be like, the more freaked out I get and the more I wanna just push it off. I dunno, don’t think he’s the type of nigga whose ever been made to wait long though.”

“That nigga will wait as long as you need him,” Jazz corrected her firmly.

“Don’t tell me you on some stupid Steve Harvey 90-day shit?? Cause nigga definitely ain’t gon’ stick around for that shit,” Jackson finally interrupted their girls chat with his own opinion.

“I thought you weren’t listening??” Lauren asked her husband, all the women laughing at how truly nosey he was.

Charlotte’s face twisted up at the idea. “No, no! Not 90 days. Hell, I don’t think I even have that much self control. I just don’t think I’m ready tonight. I think I’m just too in my head about it? Like how he’ll be, how I’ll be? And… before, sex was just something to get through? Something to endure because I didn’t really have an option or it would just make things worse. I don’t want that to be Bakari and I. But that’s all I know a-and I’m worried that inexperience is gonna show? I mean I’ve never even had an or-” She stopped herself, immediately cringing as she saw the shocked looks on her friends faces. “No. No.” She immediately started to say. “Please pretend I never said that.”

“Absolutely the fuck not, bitch. Please tell me you were about to say some weird position no one has heard of and not that you’ve never had an orgasm??”

“J, baby, girl time. Get out,” Lauren instructed, Jackson happily excusing himself to Charlotte’s living room. Once he was gone, she turned her attention back to Charlotte. “Never?? Like not even once??”

Charlotte shrugged as she picked at her cuticles. “Don’t shame me about it! It’s so embarrassing. And I don’t really know? I don’t think so??”

“If you have to think about it then you most definitely haven’t,” Jazz shook her head. She glanced at Lauren. “Another thing to add to the list.”

“The list?”

“List of reasons we have to murder that dumb ass nigga if we ever see him again.”

“You know some women can’t even orgasm… it’s not as uncommon or weird as you’d think,” Charlotte offered.

“Are you gonna tell Michael about all this??”

Charlotte let out a humorless laugh. “So he can find out another way in which I’m irreversibly damaged?? No thank you. I already dropped so much on him just last weekend. Not trying to give him more reasons to run for the hills.”

Lauren sighed, “Look, sex is as much about communication as it is just about following your desires and wants. You can just go with the flow and see what happens. It could be amazing without any conversation. Or you can put your big girl panties on and make it clear what you want out of the experience and why to ensure he really knows you.”

“And sex with every guy is different,” Jazz offered as she flipped through a magazine. “I’ve been with niggas where I hated one thing until a new nigga came along and made me love it. Don’t let how it was in the past make you think it can’t be fun and enjoyable. And with the right guy, life changing.”

“So your life must’ve been changed a couple times?” Lauren asked, shading her best friend.

“Yes and what about it?? My point is, that’s how it was supposed to be the entire time. I know it’s hard for you but have fun. That’s what dating and sex and all of this is supposed to be anyway - fun. And enjoy the moment with him. And if it happens tonight, great. If it’s 90 days from now, also great.”

“Yea, you’re right. It’s j-” Her cell phone rang interrupting their conversation. “Oh, it's the front desk. He must be here.” She instructed the front desk attendant of her building to let him up. “Ok friends, y’all gotta go before he gets up here.”

“We can’t meet him???”

“No cause y’all are just gonna embarrass me. Out.” She playfully herded them out of her bedroom and toward the front door. She could tell they were all wasting as much time as possible, taking their sweet time grabbing their belongings and jackets.

These niggas, she thought to herself. She was not surprised when the knock at the door made all of them grin like they just won the lottery.

“Don’t embarrass me,” she warned before she checked her hair and makeup in the mirror in the foyer. She opened the door to find Michael with a bouquet of pink roses in his hand.

He let out a low whistle as she gave him a hug and kiss.

“These are for you. You look beautiful,” he offered as he handed her the bouquet.

She watched him for a moment, part of her waiting for the backhanded part of his compliment to come. ‘You look beautiful, but…’ however, it never did.

“T-thank you,” she answered quickly, ushering him inside. “I’m ready, just let me put these in water.”

Michael’s eyes immediately started to take in her apartment, this was his first time there since they started dating. His visual sweep and catalog of things to store away was cut short when his eyes landed on a group of people awkwardly lingering in her living room, staring at him expectantly. He walked in further and started to greet them.

“What’s up? I’m Michael.” He dapped Jackson up and gave Jazz and Lauren brief hugs.

“That’s Jackson, Jazzmine and Lauren and they were just leaving,” Charlotte said as she came up behind them.

“I’m sure we could stay a few minutes and get to know Michael?” Jazz asked innocently.

“Yea I’d love that,” Jackson offered, his serious and intimidating face on. Charlotte rolled her eyes, this is exactly what she hoped to avoid. “Get to know the guy, learn about him and shit.”

“No, no I think y’all should be headed out. Michael has a whole evening planned, I’m sure.” Charlotte narrowed her eyes at her friends.

“Charlie’s right. Out. Both of you. Sorry,” Lauren offered the couple, pushing her husband and their best friend out the door.

“Night guys.” She gave them all hugs before pushing them out of her house.

“Sorry… they wanted a glimpse of you so bad,” she laughed. Michael merely grinned and waved his hand dismissively.

“No worries. It was cute. They are clearly protective of you, it’s sweet. How’d you meet Lauren and Jazzmine?”

Charlotte settled on the edge of the couch as she sat to fasten the ankle straps of her heels.

“Oh, Jazz grew up with Jackson and I. Met her in freshman English homeroom in the 9th grade. Inseparable ever since. Jackson was a year older but we were kinda a package deal at the time. So they became good friends. And I met Lauren at Juilliard. She’s a dancer. Teaches at a ballerina studio in the city. Lo and Jackson met when he came to visit one weekend and it was love at first sight. And thankfully Lo and Jazz hit it off when they finally met too. And we all ended up out here.”

“So that’s your crew?”

“Yep. I would die without those three. Then Lo and I have a couple of other friends we are close to. My eldest sister and brother live on the east coast so it’s harder to spend time with them. But anywho,” she held her arms out as she stood up. “This suitable for where we’re headed?”

“It’s perfect. You look perfect. You ready?”

At her nods, Michael slid his hand into hers and led her out of her apartment and to her car. The car ride was not long, Michael allowing Charlotte to DJ so he could learn more about her musical taste. She definitely was an R&B fan, specifically 90s R&B. But she seemed to have an appreciation for the whole genre. And the activity reminded him of how limitless her own talent for music truly was. She was not just a good singer, she was a student of music. Michael could’ve just sat in the car for hours and listened to her dissect every song, provide her insight to specific choices, highlight samples he did not even recognize. He was kind of sad to end the conversation when they arrived at their destination.

He helped Charlotte out of the car and walked her to a building across the street. It was full of people and bustling with activity.

“Aight, so. I remembered you saying you haven’t seen much of LA yet, even though you’ve been here for a while. So I thought I’d take you somewhere that highlights the best LA has to offer.” He held out his hands. “It’s an art walk. One of the biggest in all of California and the most popular. One weekend in August every year. New and upcoming artists, world-renowned LA natives. If the artist is from LA, they are in here somewhere. This year, they chose to feature only artists of color.”

Charlotte’s eyes grew wide as she took in the scene. It was clearly extremely popular, artists and vendors seemed to pack the half indoor/outdoor space. There were food trucks and other vendors lining the street with a live jazz band playing to create the perfect mood.

“Oh I love this… definitely an A for execution, Mr. Jordan. Perfect first date.”

“I aim to please. And then I got a reservation at your favorite spot.”

“Saffron??” She squealed, an upscale Indian restaurant that Charlotte lived and died by in the city. It was the only restaurant she missed when she was traveling.

“Of course.”

“Wow, if there was a grade higher than A, you’d most certainly get it. This is really nice, thank you.”

The pair laughed and joked as they walked through the exhibits. Charlotte felt pulled in a thousand directions as everything caught her eye. Michael enjoyed watching her. Whether it was sharing their commentary about the different pieces of art and installations or being mesmerized by her passion and interest in each piece, Michael was utterly enthralled by her. And thankful that he had decided to go this route. He knew she would not mind a stuffy, normal dinner date. But he felt as if they had plenty of time for normal dinner dates. He wanted to create memories with her, live out loud, and have a good time. And this felt just right.

The only thing that was, perhaps, odd for them was that they did not hold hands. Or show any type of physical affection. It was not for a lack of desire or want. They both found it fairly difficult to keep their hands off each other. But they had not decided how or when they would go public yet. Charlotte had reservations about coming out as dating her co star in her first major film and Michael was Michael, he knew any woman tied to him romantically would receive scrutiny. They knew they could not keep it hidden forever, especially with the press tour quickly approaching. But they wanted to come out in their own time. So even though they kept close to each other, they hoped that if someone did snag a photo, they would just seem like two friends at an art show, not boyfriend and girlfriend.

“Oh my god,” Charlotte stopped in front of an easel. “I’ve seen this before,” she pointed at a painting of a black woman standing in the mirror. “Rashad Brooks,” she muttered.

“You know this guy?”

“No not personally. But I’ve seen this painting before, at an art show in New York. This was the centerpiece. His whole series was portraits on perspective. How we don’t see ourselves as others see us. Each piece told a story until you got to this one, the one where she finally sees herself as, not just what she is, but what she wants to be. She sees more for herself and in herself than before. The way her reflection back is a Goddess instead of the negative things she focused on before. And she doesn’t just see it, she materializes it and chooses to act on it. To radiate it outward to the world. See the way the soft gold glow extends in the mirror and around her in real life.”

“What do you like about it?”

Charlotte tilted her head, her eyes drinking the piece in again. It still hit her the same as the first time she saw it.

“I dunno. I always felt it was kinda calling to me in some way? Like it was the message I needed at the time to remember to see more for myself? See it and act on it? If she could see more, why couldn’t I?” She chuckled and gave him an embarrassing smile. “It’s silly, I know.”

“Definitely not silly,” a voice interjected, a man stepping from behind another easel. “It is great to hear someone talk about the piece with such passion. And so accurately. I should take you to my next show. I’m Rashad, the artist.”

Charlotte shook his hand. “So great to meet you. I love your work, it's so realistic and flawless. It is like looking at a photo, so detailed. You’re amazing.”

“I appreciate that. If you are interested in ever coming to a gallery to see more,” he handed her his card. “My website and information is on it.”

Charlotte tucked it into her pocket. She would definitely keep the artist in mind for the day when she was so booked and busy, she did not mind dropping thousands of dollars on a painting. Being forever frugal and anxious that her bookings would dry up or become inconsistent, that just wasn’t her yet.

Charlotte threw another longing glance at the painting before they said goodbye and continued walking toward the next booth. “Ok that was the best thing I’ve seen since we got here.”

“And that’s saying somethin’ cause you’ve said that about almost every artists since we walked in.”

Charlotte laughed and bowed her head. “Sorry, I just love seeing people live in their passions, especially us. All these Black artists taking space and doing what they love day in and day out.” She shrugged. “I guess I miss that energy a lot? It’s just nice to be in a space with that. Thank you for this.” She nudged him with her shoulder. “Easily the best and most creative first date I’ve ever been on.”

“Maybe one day, you’ll get back to your passions. And of course, that’s what I was aimin’ for.”

“It would take an act from God, but maybe.”

“Wanna check out that section over there and then head to dinner?”

“Oh. We couldn’t sta-” Charlotte’s smile faltered a bit and she bit her lip, a question on whether they could stay a bit longer starting to fall from her lips before she stopped herself. She realized it was late, the sun had come and gone since they arrived. However, she just did not want to leave yet and she was having so much fun with him, she desperately wanted to prolong the evening as long as possible. However, an instinct stole the words right out of her mouth and she quickly course corrected, he was ready to go so that meant it was time to go. She forced her smile to grow again, “Y-Yea, that sounds great. Whatever you want, babe.”

“You sure? We can stay longer. We can hang out longer and do Saffron another night?” Michael offered to adjust. He truthfully did not care what they did or where they ended up for dinner. He just made the reservation to ensure they had somewhere nice to go if they wanted to.

“No, no. I want to do the night you planned. Let’s go,” she smiled, gesturing for him to lead the way.

Michael merely nodded and continued walking, biting down his own confusion at her sudden switch up. However, she still seemed like herself, happy and engaged. So, he tried not to harbor on it for too long. They walked around for another 15 minutes or so before getting in his car and heading to dinner.

By the time dinner concluded, Charlotte was more than a little sad to be headed home. She knew the date was going to go well but she had not imagined Michael would put in as much effort as he did to ensure it was something she would like and enjoy.

“I had an amazing time, thank you.” Charlotte offered as Michael walked her to her door.

“So I earned a second date?” He asked playfully.

Charlotte smiled. “You earned a second date before I stepped in the car tonight. And a third one too.”

“Ah so I gotta start earning them again for the fourth one?”

“Yea. Can’t have you thinking I’m easy…” she winked at him. “Call me when you get home?”

“Of course, baby.”

One arm snaked around her waist as he pulled her in for a kiss. They lingered in it for a moment, however, Charlotte knew if she lingered too long, she would invite him in.

“I s-should call it a night,” she muttered against his lips.

Michael nodded, he knew that wasn’t happening tonight but he would be lying if he had not been hoping he was wrong. It wasn’t an issue, he would wait as long as it took. But that did not mean the waiting was easy for him. Especially when she looked like this, perfectly edible and delicious.

“Night, Els.”

“Night.”

Michael lingered for a moment until her door closed shut and he heard the faintest lock of her door. The moment he got in his car, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the business card from Rashad that he swiped from her pocket. It was a crafty bit of thievery on his part, he was thankful she had been too distracted in his embrace to notice. He dialed the number, not shocked to get his voicemail.

“Hey man, this is Michael B. Jordan. I was at the Art Walk tonight and the woman I was with loved one of your paintings. I’d like to buy it if it's still available. And I have a proposition for you. Hit me back when you have a chance. Thanks.”

***

Charlotte hummed quietly to herself, her body wrapped tightly in a blanket on her couch as she wrote on sheet music. A lazy Saturday in the apartment meant songwriting. She just did it for fun and most of the songs were not even good in her opinion. But it got her thoughts out of her head and onto the page, which is often what she needed. And she spent the majority of the day curled up on her couch, her music piling up next to her.

She glanced at her folder of recent songs. Most reflected her melancholy attitude and past, filled with shoes of heartbreak and pain. But today, this song was the exact opposite. It was filled with hope and excitement. It was the first love song she had written in years and she loved it.

Her groove was only interrupted by her cell phone ringing, the front desk number buzzing across her phone.

“Hey Rick, what’s up?”

“Hi Ms. Bennett, sorry to bother you so late but you have a package down here. Can I send the courier up?”

“I didn’t order anything? Who is it from?”

“Umm the courier said the sender’s name is Bakari?”

Charlotte bit her lip and smiled to herself. “Yep, you can send it up.”

She paced up and down the soft rug by her couch as she waited for bated breath for whatever this delivery was. Aside from flowers, she could not even imagine what it could be. She could not recall mentioning wanting anything specific, much less anything she expected her boyfriend of a week to buy her. She did not really expect Michael to buy her anything, preferred it actually. Her experiences made her fiercely independent. She and Michael almost got into showdowns about who would buy dinner. Their date yesterday was the first time she let him pay without an argument beforehand.

A knock at the door pulled her out of her thoughts. She opened to find two men carrying a wide and tall box.

“Hi ma’am. We are gonna unwrap it and if you need help mounting it, we can assist with that.”

She nodded and ushered the two men in. She watched as they ripped all the packaging off. She let out an audible gasp as she took in the painting from her and Michael’s date the night before.

“W-whoa.”

“He included a note.” One of the men handed her a card. Charlotte ripped it open and read it silently.

You said this inspired you to see more. I hope every day you look at this, you are reminded of what I already know: you don’t just deserve more. You deserve everything. And every day is an opportunity to seize it.

Love,

Bakari

“Where would you like it?”

Charlotte glanced up, her hand quickly wiping a stray tear. “O-Oh um…” she glanced around her living room. She glanced at the dreaded bare wall behind her couch that she could never quite figure out what to do with. She painted it to give an accent wall but could never find the right piece to hang there. “There,” She pointed to it. “Right in the center.”

She watched patiently as the two men hung the painting for her and then left her apartment. The moment they were gone, she called Bakari.

“Hey baby, painting get there?”

“Yes… Thank you, it is stunning and amazing… and it’s too much, babe,” she rambled. It was not that she did not like it, she loved it and adored it. But she did not know if she could or should accept such an extravagant gift when they had only been dating for mere days. “It’s amazing and beautiful and you’re amazing for buying it. But it is too much, you gotta let me pay you back for it.”

Michael immediately laughed at the absurdity of her statement. “That ain’t how gifts work, baby girl.”

“But it’s too…”

“Too what?”

“Extravagant. I saw the price for this last night. It was thousands of dollars.”

“Yes and getting you something that made you as happy as this painting did was worth every penny.”

Charlotte’s voice grew small. “You sure?? I-I just don’t want to feel like I owe you.”

“Els. Baby, it’s just a painting. One that didn’t break the bank or anything close to it. I saw how happy it made you and how much you connected with it and I thought you’d like it. I just want you to enjoy it. It’s a gift, no strings attached. You don’t owe me anything and I wouldn’t accept anything if you tried. I promise. Just enjoy it, babe.”

Charlotte stared at the painting as he spoke, her heart swelling at having the piece in her home. It felt like a full circle moment. She felt as if this piece of art spoke to the fundamental reason she wanted to go into the arts herself, because it has the power to change the course of someone’s life. This painting, this beautiful piece of art, was one of several things that saved her life.

“Ok, I’m sorry. I’m ruining it, aren’t I?”

“You could never ruin anything. I just want you to know when I give you something, there ain’t no ulterior motives. I just want to see you smile. You smilin’? Cause it feels like you aren’t?”

“I am… truly. This is just the nicest thing anyone has ever bought me. I’ll send you a picture, it looks perfect here.”

“You hung it in the living room?”

“Yea.”

“Good, I thought that’d be a good spot for it. Alright love, I just got home so let me call you when I get out of the shower? Enjoy the painting.”

She sat in one of her arm chairs so she could stare at it, her feet tucked up underneath her.

You deserve more, she thought to herself. This is most certainly more. Embrace it.

“I will. You’re amazing. Thank you.”

The couple hung up the phone, Charlotte grabbing her glass of wine and sheet music from across the table and setting her eyes on the painting. She just sat there for over an hour and stared at it. She found the longer she looked, the more details she found, the more beautiful it became to her. She sighed and pulled out her phone. She snapped a photo and sent it to the group chat that contained her best friends and brother with a simple message:

The romantic surprise king strikes again

The chime of a text immediately filled the room.

Jazz: See? Not even a day and she already loves that shit. Alright Lo, get ready to fight over maid of honor

Charlotte knew the group chat was about to dissolve into madness at that so she put them on mute and tossed the phone on the table as she went to her baby grand piano in her living room. Her song was unfinished but new inspiration had struck in the form of an unexpected but perfect gift. And where inspiration struck, she had to follow.

***

“Can you believe that shit??” Michael grinned as Charlotte doubled over in her seat, tears springing to her eyes as she laughed. “It’s not that funny, Els.”

“Y-Yes, it is,” she hiccuped, clutching her chest. “Like how’d they make that mistake??” She shook her head. “These white folks… they really can’t tell us apart at all.”

“I know! Same name but Michael and I don’t look alike at all. Just googled a nigga named Michael and took the first photo they saw.” The pair were sharing a laugh about E News’ latest article on Michael, which included a picture of Michael Ealy instead. They submitted a correction but she and Michael could not help but laugh at the jokes on social as Black Twitter dragged the publication for such an obvious mistake.

“I know! He’s wayyyy cuter,” she winked and smirked at him as she took a sip of her wine.

“Ha. ha. So you got jokes??”

She raised her hands in surrender. “Now you know there is no one as handsome as you, babe. Promise.”

“Nice save, baby.” A vibrating noise against their dinner table interrupted their banter, Michael immediately picking up his phone. “Oh shoot. I gotta take this. It’s my agent. Sorry, baby.” He quickly removed himself from the table, but not before bestowing a soft kiss to Charlotte’s head before he navigated to the front of the restaurant. They were tucked away in the back, prayerful no one noticed them.

Charlotte twisted in her seat to watch him retreat for a moment, a dopey smile painted on her face as she basked in how well things had been going so far. The two months since their first date had flown by so fast, she almost wished time would slow down a bit. She wanted to savor every single moment with him, holding tightly to these memories they were creating. Every compliment, every joke, every deep conversation, every dream and aspiration they shared with one another. She did not want them to be washed away by the swiftness of time. And she did not want the sweetness of the honeymoon phase to end. She wanted to bask in how he allowed her to just be herself around him. Michael felt like the rarest of fresh air and now that she had taken a breath of it, she just wanted to soak it up and never be without it again.

"Excuse me? Are you Charlotte Bennett?"

Charlotte glanced up from her menu to find a young man from the wait staff staring at her expectantly. She still had not grown accustomed to people recognizing her. Typically when they were out, Michael would get recognized by one or two people. But she still enjoyed a life under the radar. It did not happen enough for it to sink in just yet that people in the world were remotely interested in meeting her.

“Yes?”

"I thought so!” She watched as his entire being lit up, his voice flooding with excitement and joy. He appeared to exude a whole new energy that made Charlotte’s heart happy. “Sorry, I am just a huge fan. I saw you the first night you had to understudy for the actress playing Roxie in Chicago. I still have the playbill from that night in my apartment. First performance I ever saw and you… you made me want to be an actor. Not a singer though, my family says I'm dreadful.”

Charlotte’s hand went to her heart as she took in his words. “I doubt that! But thank you so much.” She still remembered that night, the biggest night of her career up until that point, and another moment overshadowed by the chaos that was her personal life. That performance had catapulted her into a new, albeit short-lived, fame in the theater world. It was a wave she had hoped to ride right off into the sunset of Broadway legends but instead, she had to detour, something she never fully recovered from. However, it was healing in some fashion to know that, however short it had been and even if it didn’t look as she had wanted, it had meant something to someone. “You honestly have no idea how much that means to me.”

"Of course! I just love you. I try to watch every single thing you're in."

"It's not a lot, I'm afraid. But I’m getting there.”

He merely waved his hand to dismiss her self-deprecation. “Please, you’re gonna take this city by storm. Just know you got at least one fan who’ll be front row for it all.” His eyes left Charlotte’s to scan the restaurant. “I better go before my boss sees me chatting. Struggling actor gig. I'm saving up so I can audition for Juilliard next year and move to New York. Been acting in local plays while I'm at community college."

She gestured toward his pen and notepad. She knew it was for his work but she did not carry around paper and pens so this was the only thing available. “Can I?” She almost wanted to laugh at how quickly he relinquished his work materials. She scribbled her name and personal email on the pad. I won't claim to be able to open many or really any doors but if there's anything I can do, let me know?"

The young man looked like he was about to go faint. "Really??"

"Yea... us penguins, future and alumni, gotta stick together, right? What’s your name?” She tore off the sheet and handed it to him, which he quickly folded and stuffed in his pocket.

“Jamal. A-and thank you so much! You are amazing. I really appreciate it. Sir.” Charlotte glanced behind her to find Michael returning to the table, the young man giving him a polite and professional smile.

"Hey man, how you doing?" Michael asked as he sat down.

Charlotte suddenly felt this wave of deja vu hit her, which was immediately followed by a panic she imagined beginner surfers actually felt when they crashed into an actual wave. She immediately cleared her throat and straightened up from her relaxed position. Her natural smile was gone, a tighter forced one took its place, filled with the tension that spread rapidly through her body like a virus.

"Oh shoot, that's my manager. You're amazing, thank you."

"O-of course," she offered as he returned to his work, barely hearing his words over the pounding of her own heart.

She tried to hide it, the fact that she felt like she was drowning in her own panic. She did not know where it came from, could not pinpoint what caused it because nothing in the room had changed. But she felt it, sucked deeper and deeper down into this black hole of terror. And every time she tried to swim back to the top, free herself from it, flashes of pain and pangs of fear rained down on top of her again, forcing her body back under. And she did not see a clear way to fight herself out of it. She started to reach for her glass but immediately retracted her hand when she noticed the slight tremble. She slid them under her thighs, hopeful Michael would not notice. That was one thing she had never gotten good at, hiding her fear. She imagined it read so clearly across her face.

She glanced up at him every few minutes as they both tried to decide what to order. Charlotte was not even hungry anymore but she went through the motions, pretending to study the menu while she really studied him. Every quick glance was intended to size him up, search his usually warm eyes for any hint of anger or annoyance. However, he did not give anything away. She found nothing except his usual kind and playful look as he scanned the menu. He muttered to himself as he decided between two items. And despite that, she felt no reassurance and the tight claws fear had in her chest did not loosen or budge.

"You decide what you want to get?” When his question was met with no response, he tried again. "Els... baby?"

It was Michael’s turn to examine her from across the table, bewildered to find a completely different demeanor than when he left the table a few minutes prior. He knew her well enough to pick up on certain subtleties that showed her true emotions. The way her shoulders hiked up to her ears with tension, the way her eyes avoided his, the tightness in her jaw as if she were bracing for something, the way her whole body seemed to shake, the sheer panic painted in her eyes that she was so clearly trying to hide with a neutral expression but failed at.

“Els!” He called out a bit louder, the young woman finally looking at him. “You good?”

She merely nodded, forcing a fake smile on her face.

Michael would not claim to be an expert on Charlotte just yet. Though he felt like he was close. If this were a degree program, he, at least, had a bachelors and was getting to work on his masters. However, he definitely knew when she was and was not ok. And this was far from ok.

“Nah, none of that shit. What’s wrong?” He immediately realized where he went wrong just a few minutes ago and sighed. “I know… our rule. No phones on date night. Sorry about that. This deal is just supposed to be wrapped up tonight and the last pieces are just…” he shook his head and let out another sigh. “Also no work talk. Sorry. Everything is sorted so no more phones.” He emphasized his words by turning his phone off and sliding it into his jacket pocket.

Charlotte felt as if her brain short circuited every time Michael apologized unprompted for something. Often, like right now, he did not even need to apologize but when he did, she could always tell he was sincere. Accountability from a man was a new one, another thing she was not fully used to yet.

"O-Oh no, no. D-don't... don't apologize. No biggie."

"Then why do you seem upset?"

"Umm…” She chewed her lip as she considered her words carefully, hopeful that she would not make the situation worse. Her hands twisted the white napkin in her lap, turning the fabric over and over to release some of her tension. “T-that waiter.” She pointed back toward the direction the young man went when he left their table. “He's an actor, wants to go to Juilliard. Saw me once in a show, said he was a fan. I was j-just giving him my email in case I could be useful.”

"That's really sweet of you, love.” When her panicked expression did not change, Michael stared at her expectantly, figuring there must be more to the story or something he missed. Because he did not understand how that explained why she was upset. "That... it? Or is something else wrong?”

"N-No, no. I-I just want you to know there wasn't a-anything else to it." She paused, her eyes bouncing anxiously from her hands to him. "Y-You believe me, don't you?"

Her words cycled through Michael’s head several times as he searched and searched like an investigator for the issue, why she would question whether he believed her, why she looked so terrified. However, it was not until he reviewed the whole conversation over again that the realization hit him. The first story she ever told him about her ex floating to his mind, how he gave her a concussion because she dared speak to another man. Michael bowed his head, exhaling a bit of the anger that simmered beneath the surface every time this happened, which was far more often than he would have anticipated.

Michael knew he needed to do more to address this sort of behavior but he was not sure what to do. For the most part, the last three months of their relationship was everything Michael wanted and could’ve hoped for. He knew he made the right choice in pursuing Charlotte, she felt like the person he had been waiting for his whole life. However, there were moments when he was harshly reminded that the beautiful field that was Charlotte was filled with gorgeous flowers and the occasional well-hidden landmine. And he never knew exactly when he would accidentally step on one and she did not seem to know where exactly they were buried. He knew there had to be more he could do to be proactive, to see these triggers before he accidentally stomped on them. But they still caught him off guard every single time.

They never discussed it, her panic or reactions that seemed so natural that he questioned whether she even noticed the overreactions sometimes. Each time, he would merely assure her they were ok and they moved on, kept walking until the next explosion. It was not sustainable.

And he hated it, hated the way her eyes searched for his permission sometimes, how she profusely apologized for simple mistakes or miscommunications, how her entire being would become paralyzed with fear like right now. She was still herself, the Charlotte he fell madly in love with. But all the pieces she said were broken were slowly being revealed. And while he did not see them as ‘broken,’ they were mending, he also was at a loss on how to help that process and not accidentally make it worse.

He held out his hand, a nonverbal request to touch her, which she accepted.

Good sign, he thought to himself. At least she didn’t hesitate to let me touch her.

His thumb rubbed the inside of her wrist gently for a few moments. He felt more at ease as he watched her relax a bit. It was not a lot and she likely did not even notice, but he could see some of the tension leave her body slowly but surely.

“One, of course, I believe you, Els. I trust you completely. And two, you know you don’t owe me an explanation of the conversations you have or people you talk to right?”

She scratched her head with her free hand. “Y-yea, I know.” Though her tone was not fully convincing to him. “I j-just felt like… I just didn’t want you to think it was something it wasn’t… or whatever. Or feel disrespected or something? S-so we’re good?” Her voice was still small and timid, her fear still evident in every syllable. “You aren’t angry with me?”

He could tell that she was waiting for him to flip the script on her, to finally showcase anger she thought he was hiding. But the only anger he had was directed at a person not at the dinner table with them, a person who lived on another coast, which meant Michael could not find him and use his face as a punching bag.

“I would never be mad over some shit like that, Charlotte. You did a nice thing for an up and coming actor and I think that shit’s great. We’re good.”

“T-thanks, babe. S-sorry, I just didn’t want-”

“Charlotte. Baby.” He cut her off. “Relax. No more explaining or apologizing cause you ain’t got shit to apologize for. We’re good, I swear.”

Charlotte chose to give Michael the final word and take his word for it. Charlotte shook her shoulders out a bit, forcing her body to relax. Their evening progressed without incident, though there was a dark cloud that loomed over them now, neither one of them fully themselves. But neither said anything about it either. They just progressed through dinner as if nothing had happened, making conversation about meaningless topics while both of their brains ran amuck with their own individual insecurities. Charlotte worried that she soured the mood and he truly was mad at her, just waiting for a private place to unleash it, and Michael obsessed over how he could convince her that the reaction she feared would never come.

After he dropped Charlotte off at home, with several more assurances that he was not mad at her at all, he went home and pulled out his laptop.

The wee hours of the morning found Michael still in front of that screen, a notebook filled with notes, best practices, resources, and information on how to support someone with PTSD. But given everything he read about abuse that night, things that made his stomach turn and his anger increase to unfathomable levels, he felt that could be the only explanation. And his research helped him understand her a bit better. By the time he closed his laptop, his human need for sleep outweighing his active brain’s desire to unpack his Els and understand her, he did feel he was armed with some tools, or at least more than he had before. He knew he could not heal her, only time and work could do that. But he could be more supportive, more assuring, prioritize ensuring she knew she had choice and agency with him and could create boundaries that he would respect.

He wondered if it would be enough but he was resolved to try. Because she was worth every effort he could give to make her feel safe and loved, and to show her something she had not experienced before: real love. He was different and he would do whatever it took to show her that because she deserved everything he had to give. She deserved his very best.

Tag List: @certifiedlesbianbaddie @bangtanxmegan @reelwriter19 @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @hi888888sworld @msniaimani @destinio1 @lynaye1993 @cawi00 @chaoticevilbakugo

A/N: Thanks for reading!

#black writers #michael b jordan #michael b jordan x oc #mbjordanedit #michael b jordan x reader #creed 3 #black panther #adonis creed #michael b jordan fanfic #creed iii

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currantlee · 8 months

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youtube

(I didn't find this cutscene by itself on YouTube in English, so y'all are gonna have to deal with a link to a specific timestamp in the video - anyway, here's the Japanese version sans subtitles)

Okay, but can we talk about the Revelation ending cinematic for a second, please?

Like, I know this game is several years old at this point, but this cinematic is still so perfect, like, come on!! Apart from the strellar video quality that all of the 3DS games have, there is so much love and detail in just this one scene.

You have eight characters in the scene, and none of them are standing around and doing nothing. This is obviously not counting Corrin, who is really more of a stand-in for the player in this scene - also, funfact!

Theoretically, you should see Corrin in this shot since in the end of the cutscene, when the little sisters drag Corrin to the rest of the siblings, they're running in the direction of the trees in the background, indicating that this is where Corrin should stand. But they're not in this shot.

Regardless, having eight characters in one scene and each of them not just say something, but do something (rather than just standing by idly until it's time to say their lines) is impressive! Even more impressive is that the things they do are not just standard / repetitive motions, but rather small details that are easy to miss, yet so in-character. I put some of my personal highlights under the cut - what are yours?

Right before the little sisters run towards them, Camilla smiles and gives Corrin / the player a little wave, and it's the sort of smile that we rarely see from this character - a very sincere smile that reaches her eyes.

Very easy to miss, but I love how just before the little sisters run to Corrin, Takumi (and, less obviously, Leo too!) look lovingly at their little sisters (whom both of them are shown to have a close relationship to in the supports, it's such a nice touch IMO!), while Camilla and Hinoka are looking at Corrin, and Xander and Ryoma are looking at the scene unfolding in front of them.

There is also this cute interaction Takumi initiates with Leo, which I find especially cool because after Ryoma and Xander make their vow to keep peace and Elise cheers that Sakura and her can be friends now, Takumi remarks how he wishes it were that easy to forgive, and Leo responds by saying that healing can only begin with trust - which is not only very true in my experience, it's one of my favorite lines from the entire game. If you take anything away from Fates as a story, it should be this.

So anyway, Takumi seems to think about Leo's words a bit before he nods and agrees. So regardless of whether you ship Leokumi or not (I do, and this interaction is definitely a bonus to me), you can kind of see this interaction as an extension to Takumi's agreement from earlier, where he specifically decides to trust and befriend Leo.

The next part of this interaction is a bit harder to see because the camera pans to the sisters. Camilla and Hinoka have a little interaction with Sakura and Elise. Hinoka even bends down so they're on the same level (cool aunt character indeed), and it looks like they're moving their lips to actually say something, even though that's not part of the dialogue. Xander and Ryoma also watch this unfold (while Leo gets shoved in a friendly way by Takumi).

Leo, judging by his expression, did not expect this and is not exactly happy about in the first second of surprise. You can actually see him breathe heavily directly after stumbling forward, indicating that he was indeed startled by this. However, he then goes on to laugh it off, like "haha, you got me". Meanwhile, Takumi does not instantly turn around to Corrin again, but actually takes a step towards Leo and even turns to him for a bit, as if to make sure he's okay. The other siblings (safe for Elise) also turn to them briefly.

By the way, at the end of the scene, Takumi's hand is still on Leo's back. Also, Camilla is actually the last one to turn around to face the camera / Corrin. Instead, she takes a long look at the united families until her gaze lands at Corrin when the screen already fades to white.

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elvisabutler · 2 years

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i'm on my knees and i can't wait to taste your rain

summary: austin is such a good boy for his mama. the best of boys especially at the oscars. rating: m. word count: 1943 ( blurbs, i said. blurbs. ) warnings: mommy kink. oral ( f ). dom/sub dynamic. anxiety attacks being alluded to as well as general anxiety. public play. vibrating cockring. orgasm control. the oscars? author's note: so. welcome to day three of kinktober: mommy kink with austin. if i haven't made it very clear, i love writing sub austin so much. you could give me a million prompts of it and i'd enjoy writing this man being a good boy. absolute puppy of a man, y'all. also treat me nice fans, peep me dropping sub austin in another closet/bathroom. i'm really enjoying kinktober, y'all. if you knew the things i had up my sleeves. also gif credit to @karamelcoveredolicity who blessed us all with this.

Austin is a good boy, a good man, a good puppy. He's polite to a fault, hardworking and one of the kindest souls you have every had the pleasure of knowing. Austin is gorgeous but seems to enjoy pretending he isn't, he seems to enjoy pretending that if acting doesn't pan out he could model. It'd be annoying on anyone but Austin.

But Austin is also one of the more anxious people you've met. He stays too much in his own head and can't always get himself out of it. You realize this when he's so nervous for an interview that he's shaking and no matter what trick or technique he tried he couldn't calm himself. The only thing that had worked was your hands on his shoulders telling he'd be okay over and over until you had heard him say "I heard you, mama" softly. The phrase sends such a shock to your system that you drop your hands so quickly you'd have thought Austin's skin was on fire. Austin's eyes widen and he opens his mouth to say something- anything- to explain himself before he's dragged to the proper backstage. You weren't his mama, you had done something like that other people, but to Austin? No, that hadn't crossed your mind. You weren't sure if you could do it. You stay in the dressing room until Austin comes back in. His lower lip is essentially completely in his mouth has he gnaws on it. You frown realizing just how far he's back in his head looking at you.

"Tell mama what's wrong, baby boy." You whisper as you stand up and take his hands in your own.

The relief on his face at your words and the way he sags against your body tell you that you made the right choice with your words that night. You learned just how much he needed a mama like you, someone to help him, someone to be there for him when others wouldn't be or wouldn't do. It made you wonder why you ever thought you couldn't do this with him. As he said that night and so many other nights in your lap.

"I think you might have been made just for me. Just to be my mama and to live your own life."

He only ever has said it in your lap, you never press about it otherwise.

Oscar season was going to be rough no matter what, you both knew this. It's why you had made sure that your schedule- as packed as it normally was at the beginning of the year was clear. It was an adjustment, telling your job that yes, you needed this time blocked off and if anyone needed your help you'd be available to talk but not for extensive amounts of time. You didn't usually attach conditions to your relationship with Austin, either as his mama or as his girlfriend but you had asked him to after award season was done to respect the fact that you were going to basically be living at the office. He had agreed with a bit of a pouty lip, but he was an adult, he could handle it.

It's the night of the ceremony and you specifically had told Austin that while it was the most important night of his life, he also needed to be in the moment enough to enjoy it. The two of you had come up with the idea of the vibrating cockring. By now- months from that interview you had learned that controlling when Austin could orgasm- controlling how hard his cock could be- was the best way to ensure he stayed focused and in the moment with you. You know you're not famous enough to be next to him in the cast pictures, you're not famous at all really but you still try and stay close, the remote for his cock ring in the pocket of your dress. It's in one of the photos on the red carpet that you see his hand shaking behind Priscilla's back and you turn up the vibration setting one level.

You can hear his intake of breath from a distance and you see his hand has stopped shaking before you realize that he's walking over to you with eyes that have had their pupils overtake most of the iris. His hand moves to grab your arm in an attempt to pull you close enough for him to whisper in your ear.

"Mama, I can't- you can't do that when I'm by Priscilla, she thought something was wrong." He practically hisses. There's no malice in his tone just worry that he exposed himself.

You smile for the cameras that are taking both of your pictures before leaning in to his ear and turning the vibration up one more level. "I'm your mama, baby boy, I can do it when I want. You were shaking. You needed it."

He opens his mouth to deny it before you raise your eyebrows and tilt your head just so, a sign that he knows means you will accept no arguments from him. Instead he shuts his mouth and moves to kiss you, something he knows the camera will enjoy. Austin Butler, man of the hour, the one who's likely to be the only one to take on Brendan Fraser for the best actor prize, kissing his lawyer girlfriend. He grabs your face as he's done a million times, both hands cupping your cheeks and you for once mirror him in front of the cameras, your own hands moving to cup his cheeks. He nuzzles into them and you can't help the soft smile that crosses your lips as you kiss him when you feel it.

"Color, baby boy?" You ask as you pull away.

"Green." A beat, and a murmur. "Need you though, mama. Need to taste your pussy when we go in. Please?"

You chuckle softly as you pull away. "Be good and we'll see."

Being good was a challenge, it shouldn't have been but you decided to up the ante to make sure Austin didn't start to panic about what was going to be happening tonight. What might not happen tonight. By the time you and him are at the end of the red carpet Austin's practically vibrating as if the cockring is making his whole body vibrate with it. His arm is around you and his mouth is by your ear the second you're away from the constant flashes of cameras.

"Please mama, please, I've been good. You're being mean but I'm such a good boy. Such a great boy for you." The words come out in what sounds like Elvis's southern drawl, half slurred and you find that it does something for you. Enough of something that you find yourself dragging him to the nearest room with a lock and forcing him in there. The second the door is locked you're bunching up your dress. The joys of buying your own and wearing it, you didn't have to worry about a designer getting mad you wrecked it.

"On your knees, Austin." You say as you shimmy out of your underwear.

He doesn't even hesitate his knees hitting the floor with a thump that has you wincing before you feel his tongue against your slit, causing a surprised "oh" to leave your mouth. He blows a puff of cold air against the warm line he had just left before humming and diving in. He eats you out like a man starved, his tongue flicking at your clit before dipping into your cunt a pale imitation of his dick or his fingers but the sensation of something slipping in and out of your cunt as quick as his tongue does has you gripping at the table behind you. He pulls away when he realizes your hands aren't in his hair.

"Hair, mama."

Two words before he's back against your core, focusing his attention on sucking at your clit, his faint 5 o'clock shadow scraping at cunt and the insides of your thighs. You let your hands move down to his hair, pulling it and earning a groan as well as a shiver from him. You know you have to be quiet, you two can't get caught, not tonight of all nights so you bite your lips even as you feel Austin's fingers join his tongue, curling just so to have your hips bucking against his face his nose putting pressure on your clit. You two are going to get caught but maybe it's worth it. Maybe it's worth it to make your baby boy happy, to give him the reward he deserved for being so good on the red carpet. To give him an incentive to be good throughout the ceremony.

"Such a good boy for your mama, Austin. The best boy a mama can ask for, god, baby, right there, fuck-" You whimper your thighs clenching around his head as you feel yourself right on the edge of coming. Austin smiles against you and nips at your clit and you clench even tighter as your toes curl and you lean back, your head hitting the wall behind you and your back arching before you come back down in a flash. Austin doesn't stop licking, almost as if he's trying to clean up the mess he made of you before he pulls back, his mouth covered in your juices.

"Best boy?" His eyes are a little lidded, but not enough that you're concerned for his well being. This is what he needed, this should settle him enough for most of the ceremony.

Your hand moves to the lapel of his jacket and you use the grip to pull him up to a standing position as best as you can. "The absolute best boy. A boy who's earned not having the cock ring on. Because mama knows her best boy can hold off on coming without it. Can't he?"

He nods slowly as he watches your hand sneak into his pants and with an ease he marvels at, manage to get the ring off without too much trouble. He sees your underwear on the floor and grabs them as you put the cock ring in your clutch. You eye the underwear until he says something.

"Can I keep them for a good luck charm tonight?" He asks, his face contorting into what you'd like to say is the best impression of a puppy dog that you've ever seen before. It makes your heart hurt and feel so full of love that you can't help but kiss Austin before you answer, tasting yourself on his lips.

"You can. Going to keep being a good boy tonight?" It's a question you don't need to ask but you figure checking in won't hurt as you straighten out your dress.

"With your panties in my pocket? Why wouldn't I be, mama?" He looks in the mirror and fixes his hair before turning to you. "Back out to that?"

"Back out to that, baby boy." You nod, taking his hand and squeezing it. "You're gonna win. Trust me when Mama says that."

He does and when he's thanking his mama in his speech everyone thinks he's just talking about Lori. And you know he is, but you also know his eyes don't ever leave yours when he says I couldn't have done this without my mama and you know it wasn't just her he was talking about. He might be the best boy in all of world to you, but to him, you might just be the best mama in all of the world.

#austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler x y/n #sub!austin butler #austin butler smut #austin butler x you #austin butler fic #austin butler x fanfic #kinktober 2022 #ally's kinktober 2022 #ally writes

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