#(idk how else to tag this but if someone needs something lmk)

[shallliveoninsong]

Exit Wounds

◇ cw for blood, injury, and some not so pleasant medical descriptions

He stayed conscious longer than he thought he would.

Thankfully, long enough to make an inspiring speech to stick it to Phantylia before she retreated. But the fight took its toll and darkness claimed him soon after.

Jing Yuan hadn’t received any kind of significant injury in battle for hundreds of years. Perhaps he had gotten too…complacent. He was a good fighter of course, but compared to the frontrunners of his peers…

Despite Phantylia's defeat she got a few last laughs in. When consciousness returned to the General his mind was a disorienting blurred mess. He didn’t know what he had been doing or where he was. People were moving him, talking, rushing around doing something he couldn’t make out through his swirling vision.

All he knew was pain.

It tore through him without mercy, like a rabid beast. It was as if every drop of his blood was attacking his flesh, the sensation permeating from his back. Too weak to move from where he lay the only sign of life consciousness were his muffled cries of pain.

Why…? Dan Heng—right, that was the wound from Cloud Piercer! But then why…

Phantylia’s taunts echoed in his ears.

For my next trick I’ll turn each of  you into my voidrangers. The power of the Destruction will eat away at your flesh and transform you into pawns of the great Nanook!

The connection between himself and the ravager had been broken and yet—

The Destruction must still be in him. It may have lost its source, but with an open wound like the one in Jing Yuan it had a place to cling onto like an infection, still trying to turn him into Phantylia’s pawn.

The voices are talking to him, but he can’t make out what they’re saying. They must be from the Alchemy Commission.

Jing Yuan tries to speak, to say he doesn’t understand, that everything is all jumbled that it hurts like nothing he’s ever experienced before and please do something to grant him some kind of solace, but very few incoherent sounds actually make it out.

Then, a young voice cuts through the haze.

“General!” Bailu yelped.

No. Lady Bailu shouldn’t have to witness something like this!

He musters all his strength to try and sit up, act like he’s fine and hide the ugly sight, for he hates to scare her so, but his efforts are only rewarded with a fresh wave of fiery agony.

“Stop him from moving!” another voice shouts.

Hands grasp him by the arms forcing him still while others tend to his wound.

I’ll be fine, it’s worse than it looks, he tries to tell young Bailu. But all that comes out is tearful 'sorry's.

Bailu shushes him. Pushing past her shock she jumped right into helping.

Jing Yuan wasn’t well-versed in the healing arts. Nor was it easy to differentiate which pain he was feeling that was due to the healers' work and what was due to the Destruction. But he does wish he could be under during their efforts. Why didn’t they put him under? Were they afraid of how any sedatives would react with the Destruction?

The wound itself is its own grisly mess. Cloud Piercer wasn’t exactly known for having a dull blade after all. But if it was just flesh that needed to be mended and bleeding halted that would be easy for the Xianzhou medical technology, albeit it would take some time.

But then, sprouting from both sides that Cloud Piercer impaled him were jagged cracks of fragmentum corrosion. It kept growing and spreading, reopening the wound whenever the doctors tried to close it up.

They had no choice but to cut it out. They removed as much as they could that was deep in the wound and stitched up the rest but there were still jagged lines of darkness flecked with gold on his skin’s torso.

Lady Bailu concocts a medicinal pellet to suppress as much of the fragmentum's power as possible and manages to get Jing Yuan to take it. After the long arduous process is complete, the corrosive feeling from the Destruction begins to dull slightly, finally allowing him to speak fully.

“Thank you…”

_____

Jing Yuan is careful to keep the true severity of his injury to a few select people, most of them being the healers of the Alchemy Commission. He sees no need to create unnecessary worry. Besides, he’s reached a point where they are no longer fearful for his life. The effects of the Destruction were far from over, but the chance of it doing him in diminished significantly after Bailu’s consistent aid. Yanqing, Fu Xuan, the Astral Express crew… they should all be celebrating their victory and focusing on those who still needed aid in the aftermath of all this, not worrying about an old man.

He insists on attending the ceremony for the dead, despite Yanqing’s protests. Jing Yuan plays off the severity, joking with his retainer that he’s too eager to take his place. Yanqing relents and stops making a fuss about him attending.

His whole body is sore, it takes all his effort to mask his exhaustion as the Luofu sees the released Starskiffs off. But it is the right thing to do. Jing Yuan survived. Again. The least he could do is honor the memory of those who died.

It could have easily been him after all.

But it wasn’t.

Why did he always remain?

Why did it have to be him?

[starlostseungmin]

stray kids ─── as one direction songs.

✰ pairing : non-idol!skz x afab!reader

✰ genre : fluff, angst, maybe suggestive?

✰ warnings : subtle mentions of sex and drugs, kissing, mentions of food and profanity. lmk if i missed smth.

✰ notes : uhm i really don't know what i wrote. this has been sitting on my drafts since november and thank god anon reminded me about it (i actually went on hiatus after minho's birthday last year so yeah) the songs i associated with skz members are just strongly my opinion mehehe i hope you guys like it, idk if you agree with me in regards with the songs but DO NOT FORGET TO REBLOG, COMMENT AND LEAVE TAGS after it! thank you so much <33

✰ tags : @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly

masterlist | taglist.

chan ─── perfect

honorable mention: little things

you already know how fucked up your life is but ever since he came, those days became different. it is always the small gestures that one fails to notice in the blink of an eye. you are just going to be surprised by the time it is done or how you managed to get out of a small inconvenience. he loves you so much that he would put you first before anything else. 

chan is different from everyone else. maybe because he is labeled to be kind and so above average of doing the bare minimum which people seek from their partners. he’s perfect but he doesn’t think of it the same way. 

you tried to convince him a hundred times but all you got in response is him being a blushing mess and his giggle that makes your heart warm every time you hear it. a smile would tug on your lips that would make him stare at you, he’d bounce back on the things you said to him and you think about what did you do in your past life to deserve someone as perfect as him. 

“baby, you’re perfect,” you said for the nth time, “no, i’m not, but i’m perfect for you,” he winked. “that was smooth, chan,”

lee know ─── night changes

he might be the type to not show his feelings immediately but he’s the one who subtly shows them. it started slowly, he reassured you that everything would fall into place once you both could figure out what was going on with this relationship. 

but as long as you’re together, the love you and him shared will never change. although the process of this love story has made things go in different directions, the thought of having to stick together is essential. 

your parents didn’t like him at first, they had someone in mind and that wasn’t him and yet, you didn’t care even if your first date was a disaster and the next one after that, but that didn’t stop you. it took a while for your parents to finally accept him after tons of convincing them that he’s a great guy, but it succeeded later on. 

you had a place on your own and welcomed his cats to live with you when some of them were wild, that’s what you think. minho was a mess when you met him, but thanks to you, it’s not that bad anymore. 

changbin ─── temporary fix

honorable mention: i want to write you a song

changbin is the type to offer himself as someone you can lean on but it’s not always because of this friendship you have, but as a lover who wanted to make you feel better and forget about shit. 

temporary fix is not always meant to be a cover-up of something you’d open up again to allow another train of bullshits in your life. it felt like he was being sent from the heavens to look out for you, an angel whose sole mission is to make you happy, the same feeling like something that keeps you high. 

there’s this thing on changbin’s vibe that you don’t want to share with anybody else and he makes you feel things when you’re with him. even though this relationship sounds like a fling and a guy who sneaks into your dorm late at night to make out with you, well, it used to be. but you know changbin is so much more than that after a while. 

the phrase, “you can call me when you need me, you know?” whenever he sleeps with you is now in the trashbin the moment you settle to be someone to each other.

hyunjin ─── last first kiss 

remember the time when he said that he chose to be the last love instead of the first? exactly. being the last person to love is basically spending the rest of your life with him, even if he’s not your first kiss, not your first love, not your first in everything, it’s fine as long as he’ll be the one you’ll remember as your eternal love. 

hyunjin being fitted into this song is like a message that he wanted to convey to his love, a sentiment that would indicate how much he’d spend time and effort to stay by your side until the end of time. indeed, a hopeless romantic man he is. 

last first kiss is the very first song that reminds you of him, it is part of those memories you made with him. it was that time when he decided to take this relationship to the next level, yes, he did mention that he wanted to be your last, and by what he meant, an everlasting love. 

“let me be your last,” and when you heard him say that, you knew he was the man who fits perfectly into your broken puzzle that would mend the wound forever.

han ─── rock me

honorable mention: midnight memories

rock me suits him as well as midnight memories. but midnight memories have their effects on han, giving him the vibes of being a musician specializing in the rock genre. and as someone who loves to listen to almost every genre in the world, you fell in love with him after watching him busking by the streets. 

you were amazed by how talented he is. his fingers strummed that guitar well, and his voice? like an angel. one could say that he is a free-spirited human being who does whatever he wants and writes songs about some things that piqued his interest. 

then there’s you, a broken melody who longed for him to come back, the same goes for him who let you go. both of you thought that you were too young to be in love and jisung was better off alone but his songs were dedicated to your break up. you rocked his world when you came and left broken notes when it ended.

but he always believed that what you had back then, was real and that you’d always remember the love you had. 

felix ─── why don’t we go there 

honorable mention: kiss you

felix is someone who gets hyped easily whenever you’re with him. his bright smile, his funny reactions, and the unidentified sounds that came out of his mouth made him a fun guy to be with. it started with a fling that turned out to be something you didn’t want to rush but it is slowly beginning to have a label. 

having a relationship with him offered different dynamics. it is the way he grabs your hand when you both start to get caught by the waves crashing by the shore or how he felt when you kissed him for the first time. he is someone who can get dragged with you to whatever your plan is, a great ball of sunshine to your rainy days, someone that you don’t want to be the one that got away. 

he does think the same, especially the fact that he treasures you so much and it became an opportunity to love you more when you spend that one night together somewhere, alone. it was an invitation actually and it made you realize a lot of things. 

it is the way he looked at those stars with those dazzling eyes of his. the constellation plastered on his cheeks glowed along with them, it is what they call freckles, you love them as much as how felix felt for you. having him as a getaway made you don’t want to come back, ever again.

seungmin ─── no control

night changes was the first choice but then no control became the one for him, no control, because he is, a menace. he believed that being in love was something that gullible people would do and get hurt, maybe a few of them proved it to be valid and worth it, yet he isn’t convinced because it is just a waste of time. 

and yet, you came out of nowhere. it is the way he looks at you with those dazzling puppy eyes, the way he obeys the things you wanted him to do, and it gets worse when you share intimate affections. from a gentle puppy to a wild wolf. there’s something about you that drives him crazy every time. 

nothing matters to him when you’re around and he never felt this way before. he’d kiss you out of nowhere when you reached home with your back against the wall as your hands played with his hair. he gets weak and powerless, but gets hyped and rough which you get caught off guard every time. 

and he is very loyal, he always makes sure that no other will ever meet his interest. you don’t want to share, anyway and you got him down bad.

jeongin ─── summer love

honorable mention: fool's gold.

loving jeongin is like a breath of fresh air, the freedom that he finally held in his hands, and the time he can make up for himself to be with you. it was a reckless summer that you spent in your grandma’s place, away from the bustling city and this boy showed up on your doorsteps. 

it didn’t take a while that you immediately had this puppy love type of interest in each other. you started sneaking out in the middle of the night when your grandma was in her deep sleep, swimming together by the river across the small town on a random afternoon, sharing a kiss under an oak tree that tasted like your grandma’s apple pie, it was great. you didn’t want it to end. 

and just like any other summer, it did. you didn’t know if you would still have this continuous conversation when the school year starts since jeongin is miles away from where you live. 

you saw him sitting on one of those branches of the oak tree where you kissed for the first time, and there you promised not to lose each other even if the summer ended. you couldn’t believe that what you did for less than two months was this serious. it was hard to say goodbye, yet you hoped nothing would change after the last summer’s sunset.

©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.

[hemipenal-system]

mechposting primer

at least for how i write it

so the mechposting and Pilot stuff is sort of a speculative fiction thing in which people are altered physically and mentally in order to epitomize their operating of a combat mech.

depending on the writer, this can involve anywhere from just brainwashing and conditioning to neurotransmitter injections and physical body modifications.

each Pilot has a Handler - someone whose job it is to control them while they’re Piloting. there’s a very dog/owner type relationship here. in most mech pilot stuff, the Pilot is entirely submissive to the Handler due to their conditioning. some writers have specifically one Handler for one Pilot but i tend to lean more towards “every Handler for every Pilot” type of thing.

note that being submissive doesn’t make them not dangerous. they are still weapons that can and will kill if their Handler orders it or if they feel something is a threat to them or their Handler.

these themes originate from Empty Spaces i think. you should google that one (warning for intense discussion of trauma if you do) because i can’t really explain it well here in one post, but it’s like kind of reclaiming the idea that you don’t necessarily need to be human.

(edit 1: AC6 did def get a lot of people into it because that game is apparently tailor-made for the kind of thing this is about. idk i haven’t played it though)

i do not consider myself an empty spaces writer.

when i write mechposting stuff, it’s less about being willing to abandon your humanity and more about reclaiming it. the joy and struggle of being human and also something else, neither of which diminish the other.

i think that’s everything i can think of. if you want reading recommendations for that stuff or anything lmk and i will be happy to provide. you can also find really good stuff by going through the attached #mech-pilot tag

[suffersinfandom]

Okay, so I usually try to stay out of discourse and drama and all of that because I'm here to have a nice time, but I saw a post in the OFMD tag after the whole Blackbonnet/Stucky poll thing that I really need to type about. It's just... so bad. Like, I totally get disliking things (I dislike things too!), and I understand that OFMD isn't everyone's thing, but wow. WOW. Um.

While the first part's annoying (point to the tumblr fandom that has absolutely no one in it with a victim complex, please), what I really take issue with is the last bit -- the assertion that OFMD's cast diversity is there to be "inclusive" and "progressive" when the narrative isn't. That's just not true? One of the reasons for OFMD's popularity IS its inclusiveness! People who have never seen themselves represented in a show finally *see themselves* in some of these characters, and I think that's lovely. And the show has a wonderfully diverse crew behind the scenes and in the writing room as well!

As for "the narrative being the opposite"... all I can do is assume that OP never bothered watching OFMD. It's the most genuinely, earnestly inclusive and progressive piece of media I've ever consumed.

The acting in OFMD isn't stylistically different from any other show I've watched. The situations and lines are often comedic, Stede and Ed are definitely prone to dramatics, and plenty of the characters are pathetic (affectionate), but this is such a weird critique. Or maybe I just haven't picked anything up from a lifetime of watching media and being a massive dorkass theater nerd? Idk. Maybe they just think the show itself is cringe (I certainly don't think it is, but that's something I've seen plenty of folks who dislike it say) and that colors their opinion on the acting?

Also: where's the slavery apologism? As many other people have said, there's definitely room for good faith criticism of OFMD: its tendency to gloss over the existence of slavery, the rom-comification of real, historic slaveowners, etc, but there's no apologia in the text of the show. (Correct me if I'm wrong! I'm very white and will defer to others here.)

I'm gonna need some sources. I've seen the various accusations, but never evidence or anything that couldn't potentially be explained with context. (I don't actually take much issue with this point -- it's not a crime to think someone's annoying -- I just don't understand the constant vilification of Taika.)

"REAL gay piracy," lol. I can't say much about Black Sails since I haven't watched it (tbh it doesn't sound like something I'd be able to enjoy), but I haven't seen that much seriousness in the OFMD fandom. Do I have all of the annoying crewmates blocked? Do y'all feel like you have a lot to prove? I personally only became invested in this poll when I saw the death threats from Stucky folks, and my impression from my timeline is that most everyone else was in the same boat.

If you ARE taking these polls to heart, please don't! They're for fun (sometimes petty) fandom drama! Win or lose, we all love our ships and our communities and we really don't need to prove anything to anyone (I say, typing out a response to a thing that got under my skin, resolutely not touching grass).

THIS is where I had to start typing. WHAT DOES IT MEAN. How is a show with multiple canon queer couples gaybaiting? Isn't "canon gaybait" an oxymoron, or has the meaning changed? (I'm old, genuinely lmk if my millennial ass is missing something.) Again, I can only assume that OP either hasn't watched OFMD or hates fun romcoms, because the gayness of it all isn't the only thing the show has to offer. My brainworms have better taste than that.

It's some of the best gay rep I've ever seen and I would be delighted to see better! I mean it! I've been in queer circles for almost two decades and in fandom even longer; OFMD is some of the best, kindest, most loving, genuine representation I've come across in that time. I truly hope that it's just the beginning of a new era in media.

"Weak fandom output." I am *drowning* in fandom output and I love that for me! "Driest gay kiss." I'm sorry you don't like awkward middle-aged men who think they're unlovable coming together in what might very well be the first loving kiss either of them has ever had, but I think it's very sweet and moving! No fictional characters have ever owned my brain like this before! I love my silly traumatized queer pirates who can't communicate to save themselves. They're very beautiful to me.

Anyway, that's enough of that. I've released the pettiness and I'm going to go back to being annoying about seeing the lads again in just a few more days. <3

[tocupid]

SAINTS? SAENTS. — PROLOGUE

synopsis. where an all korean high school finally gets an international student ... turned into a group of 5.

meet saeboms internationals and peek at their lives as they adapt to the new world their thrown in together!

warning. cussing, intentional lowercase and uppercase, ermmm idk what else but lmk if something should be added

keeho.

another year being the only one alone still struggling with this culture shock in this fuckass school. at this point he had set an alarm every 11:11 and prayed before bed for someone like him to show up the next school day. typing on his phone with a clear frown on his face, he just continued ranting and ranting to the closest online friend he had, chunhua. they befriended each other VERY quickly after she constantly agreed with his movie criticism, opinions against him would never be tolerated! reading the message she sent after the 10 sentence long paragraphs the smile disappeared instantly as he screamed a loud "FUCK YEAH" and ran as fast he could to the school office, choosing to ignore the judging stares because again, OPINIONS AGAINST HIM WOULD NEVER BE TOLERATED!!!

chunhua.

groaning internally, she fought the urge to roll her eyes as the principal continued to ridicule her for her grades. sure she wasn't the best student but she wasn't failing at least! "tch! a pretty face gone to waste, what's the point of looking like that when you can't even be smart!" what a fucking creep. looking down she did her best to discreetly pull out her phone to sent steph a message, fuck the surprise entrance for him. get in the fucking school office this principals coming at my shit grades. the read message tag was all she needed to see to know he was on his way, probably tripped on a few steps as well. the slammed open door approximately 1.43 minutes was enough for her to know this school year was going to be SOMETHING.

skip to a year real quick erm.

yn.

standing in the front of the classroom felt like fucking hell. a duo giggling their asses off in the back of the room didn't help either because were they laughing at YOU or at EACH OTHER. anxiety was taking a TOLL on you and it was absolutely terrifying, you thought your knee was going to start buckling noticeably. hands were clammy and shaky, jesus take the damn wheel. introduce yourself MY ASS, this shit was not necessary in [where ever the fuck you are] and you wish it wasn't here too. the differences were so overwhelming you almost slid yourself off your seat so you could hide under your desk. AND YOUR DESKMATE WAS ALSO A BITCH TOO LIKE... why did your entire class start oooing and screaming. all you knew was this guy was named lee suho or something and that you hated him because all you did was ask for the page on where the class was and he ignored your ass. when the end of the class came you still held in your breath, NO BREATHING NO BREAKS!!! god was clearly not on your side because the duo that was snorting and gasping for air came up to you and you almost collapsed from a heart attack. god they were fucking gorgeous too, pretty people are too terrifying. when the guy spoke up you almost had a seizure because damn he got a real nice voice, "you're not from korea right?" nothing was coming out your mouth and you knew that. sparing yourself that embarrassment, a simple nod was all it took for them to have silent joy, giant grins and clapping enthusiastically with both hands. the english response you received from the girl let you finally start breathing (thank the lord because damn you were probably gonna look like violet from charlie and the chocolate factory), "welcome to the school new int!"

skip to 2 months thanks.

jake.

awkward was all that could be described for how jake was acting. his words were stiff as he introduced himself and he looked like a barbie doll being twisted to be sitting in a chair. when break came around all he could do was sit up straight staring into space. his zoning out was very rudely disrupted by a girl who pushed someone into his desk, waving them along with another guy. even if it seemed more like they were getting bullied, all he could do was start praying they wouldn't bully HIM. the awkward land on his desk made them just try and act cool ... failing to be honest ... putting a hand on their cheek and other hand on hip, "so um ... how are the spiders back home" silence just fell between the both of you as jake simply didn't know how to respond. as i said, awkward. clearly the random stranger had given up on the small talk because all it took was the "we're also abroad just let us adopt you" for him to relax his tensed up shoulders because, well, how bad could this get?

ermmmm gimme a week and a half skip.

yunjin.

in all honesty, jen wasn't used to this fucking name change. all her life it was jennifer, jenni, jen, ferb even. now she had to get used to being called YUNJIN by everyone. god it felt like her parents were everywhere now, yunjin this yunjin that. every time someone spoke to her and they even said her name she had to hold in a groan. standing in front of the classroom, she wanted to sink into the ground so badly as she said her name and as someone shouted out "I USED YOUR YESSTYLE CODE!!!" like... NO YOU DIDN'T. who the fuck brings up the personal work to a first meet class introduction. when class was over one glance at a quartet with a random guy pointing at her was enough for her to put her head down into her arms and try to sleep through the 10 minutes she had. well the lord really said fuck your beauty sleep because the knock on her desk had her looking up, head still in arms up at a guy from the group of 4, the rest cheering him on as he stuttered through his (english) intro (which surprised jen... in a good way of course), "um like hi im uh jake- you know what fuck this. do you wanna be friends with us? we foreigners needa stick together anyways, no?"

taglist. @junoswrlld @beommii @shotaroswifeyily @manooffline

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀masterlist previous next

notes. for once got to 1k words 😱😱 anyways i think i did good on this added personality ykyk i did that ‼️

[nic-liveblogs]

So happy to see someone else in this fandom who thinks all the fan characters are…. a lot? Mary sue is definitely a great word for a pretty large handful lol. I can imagine how crazy jumping into this fandom must be I jumped in around season two completely alone and honestly still don’t really understand everything. I came up with the alternate universe thing when I was doing research and realized how much journey to the west stuff there was and I thought a multiverse thing would be a funny way to think about it. I probably made a post about it at some point rambling but idk. Honestly it was really wild seeing someone else’s reaction to this wild Lego crack I’ve sent comments and asks throughout both anon and not that was fun. The next season will probably drop randomly in the next few months so get ready to buckle up and suffer with the rest of us

-🦇

im glad youve enjoyed my reactions aka me being confused 50% of the time and someone having to tell me like "this is actually someone something from jttw!" 😭 anyway yess looking forward to season 5! lmk s5 AND ninjago dr s2 will probably lead to brainrot x10..

to be completely honest, ive removed lego monkie kid from tags that im following (shocking i know) its just that a lot of weird things seem to pop up on my dash when im following #lego monkie kid so im going to rely on people im following and my for you 💀 i'll probably add it back 1 day but i need to emotionally ready myself

anyway yeah joining this fandom was really strange because i fully expected it to be similar to the ninjago tumblr community since its the only tumblr community ive ever known (i joined almost 3 months ago ha..) but uh yeah no it wasnt which is why i wasnt ready

but nevertheless! i am excited! i might just stick to watching the show and posting fanart occasionally but not fully diving into all those fandom, hcs and stuff like that because my brain isnt big enough to comprehend lmk lore :')

[onlyseokmins]

hiii how do you start a blog??? i reallyyyy wanna post my writing but idk how to start.... like formatting a blog making a pinned doing a layout idk what im doing😭 sorry if this is random for me to ask

Hey there! ❤️ Not too random to ask someone who's constantly setting up new blogs for fun and rarely using them 😭 ✋🏼 now take this all w/ a grain of salt but fr feel free to drop by/share your stories w/ me when you post them and come back if you need more help!!

So let me try to hit the points you addressed!

Formatting a blog:

Definitely have a profile picture! This is your "face" on Tumblr ~

Headers are a ton of fun. You can basically do whatever you want with them - hide, stretch, use your profile picture, or create something of your own (I would not suggest taking someone's gif or something they created unless you have permission 🙏) If you want something fancy, feel free to ask someone (but check their guidelines first ofc)

I would suggest enabling a custom theme under your blog settings if you want to format the web browser/desktop version of your blog (https://[url].tumblr.com is different from the "dashboard/mobile" view found on https://tumblr.com/[url]). This can only be done in the web browser/desktop version of blog settings (and can be important for your description later)

^ Confusing, I know! If you have more questions lmk, it's sort of not necessary but it's fun for me to customize 😂

You can find lots of tumblr themes to customize from the tumblr store or if you'd like you can get codes here too.

Making a pinned:

You can make any post a pinned post but only one can be pinned at a time.

Cheat: I have a habit of editing old posts that have 0 notes and/or one of my first posts and using it as I like 💀

Pinned posts can obviously contain whatever you want! Songs, funny quote, or a more detailed intro post - and can be changed any time!

Layout of your blog:

This is where creativity comes in lol! Try not to copy someone else if you can, totally cool if you're inspired but I've def seen a lot of people mimic others and it's just 😔

For example, ig you could say my layout/theme is based off a "streamer" concept lol. Some people keep it simple, some people just do whatever. Good news is you can always change it at your preference!

Honestly it doesn't matter how simple or fancy it is, I think as long as it's easy to navigate, you can do whatever.

Things I suggest to have somewhere on your blog:

Masterlist: a list of links to all your stories

Guidelines: don't be afraid to refer people to these!!

Intro: can be basic but be sure to tell a bit about yourself so ppl can interact with you

^ these can be linked in your description (code example below) and/or a pinned post

Tag navigation: (optional) much better than tumblr's featured tags option imho but if you use a specific tag for certain content/posts, make use of that!

Okay so tumblr is a hellsite but it has a TON of features and things you can do with it if you want. You do need to know some html coding but thankfully it's pretty straightforward and there are a lot of resources out there. I think html is still only editable on web browser/desktop version of tumblr. So you're best bet is to hit the edit theme button below (back to what we talked abt before 😂)

I'm horrible at tutorials btw. And helping people 💀 but fr I love setting up blogs so pls feel free to hmu more! I'm looking forward to another writer in the community! ❤️

[lxspedeza]

MOBILE RULES

INTRODUCTION; hi, it's kayla or k, 25+, she/her, ESL, permanently exhausted pigeon, and i've been writing ino on/off since 2015 and been obsessed with her since i was a little kid. she is a character that i grew up with and thus is very close to my heart. i hope i still make justice to her. i study and work full time, and surprisingly i have a lot of friends, but i'll try to be consistent with replies and such. ok that's a lie i'm a chaotic person, i don't even know the word consistency. i love to talk to my mutuals, my dms are always open to you.

CAUTION; please do not follow me or interact with me if you are underage. im a trash person, i curse, i make innuendos all the time, i like to write about darker themes and nsfw might happen on this blog if im in the mood. fanarts and stuff too, so yeah im not pg13. i'll try to tag the most common triggers, i myself have none becaue i've done a lot of therapy lol but yeah if i miss something lmk allright?

HOW TO INTERACT?; best ice-breakers are memes, this is my prompt tag, you are always welcome to go through them and send me something. unprompted asks are always loved. i usually write multi-para, but sometimes one liners are so good to relax you feel me? i LOVE ocs! if you have them send them my way, i'm forever curious. uh.. what else? crossovers are great, crack interactions always spike my serotonin, and i usually vibe very well with dupes. there's nothing better than screaming about your muse with someone who also writes them. yeah.

BIG NO NOs; nitrogen oxide. lol. anyway, you know, don't be an ass, don't be a bigot and whatever-phobic please. i don't like drama or call outs on my dash so i might unfollow if i see it. you'll never catch me participate in ooc drama. ic drama on the other hand? sign me the fuck up.

SHIPPING; so i'm a shipping whore let's make that clear right off the bat, but lately i care less and less about this aspect of the rp. my muse needs friends, platonic relationships, people she doesn't like, people she has to tolerate etc. that being said, this blog is multi-ship, until further notice i'll play ino as pansexual. otp is kibaino, i'm always down for that one. yeah idk honestly all of this is mood dependent

bruh if there's anything else... well i don't care, this was exhausting, lmao bye.

[atinywhore]

I knocked on every door

kang yeosang x fem reader

genre: honestly, mostly angst with a splash of smut at the end.. but its good smut, in my royal opinion, so don't worry

word count: 3540 (most of it is angst lmao)

warnings: pleasure dom vibes (yeosang ofc), oral (fem receiving), HICKIESSS, multiple orgasms ;) unprotected sex (use a condom dummies), some trauma elements idk how to describe it but you'll see hopefully, angst to fluffy ending bc im a softy who needs happy endings..

an: This is part two to my besties yeosang request! This is my first time doing angst really and I'm happy with how it turned out. P.S. I didn't really edit this.. so I do apologize if there are any big issues, there shouldn't be but if there is my bad, its literally midnight the I'm finishing this and am running off of 4 hours of sleep. OMG, I have nothing against Seonghwa, I would literally shoot someone if they did what I did to him in this fic, so please no hate, he was just the first member that popped into my brain. stop I love him.

be kind and lmk :) please be nice and let me know if I missed any warnings. enjoy my dirty little hoes <3

tag list: @ch0isa99ie @mingigoo @ateezinmymind @wickeddarkness-place @whatudowhennooneseesyou @teezers99

bite me- (pt 1) (pt 2)

~~~~~

He slid himself fully inside, my walls burning with pleasure. “Fuck” the word comes out in a breathy moan directly into his ear. “Holy shit doll.” He flexed his hips and another wave of pleasure burned through me. “Taking me so well.” he drew his eyes away from mine and looked down to where we were connected. Slowing his pumps and filling me as much as he can, repeating the torturous motion over and over until I almost reach the edge, and then he stops.

~

It has been 2 months since that night in the parking garage. It took me over a week to finally peel myself from my bed and actually shower. No matter how hard I tried I could not seem to erase the feeling of his hands roaming my body and how perfectly he seemed to fill me up. It wasn’t until your friends forced you out of your apartment back into civilization. You were at a cafe waiting for your friends when you got a text saying (We are sorry, please don’t hate us. You need this.) Rightfully pissed, you make to leave after seemingly being stood up, you hear a man's voice directly in front of you, “Y/n?” Your vision focuses on the tall and very handsome man now smiling down at you. “Are you y/n?” His cat-like features pulled to reflect the smile now dominating his face. “Yes I am. Do I know you?” Trying not to be impolite but his stature and angular greek like looks are ripping you back to the night you have been trying so hard to forget. It was not this man's fault that he has a similar look to.. You can’t even speak his name in your head or else you’ll crumble right here in this cafe.

His face twists in a concern like manner and you snap yourself out of the spiraling thoughts consuming you. “I’m sorry did you say something?” Feeling a slight blush warm your cheeks, he just plasters that same smile back on, this time a dimple settles on the corner of his left lip.

He never looked at me like that.

“I said I’m Seonghwa. I work with your friends and they have been trying to set us up for a while now I guess. I’m sorry it seems you didn’t know and I don't want to make you feel comfortable. I will just go now and-” Now it's his turn to warm with embarrassment. “No you came all the way here! Sit, we can just talk over a cup of coffee. His cheeks illuminating slightly with the pink still tinting his tan skin. His smile shines even brighter as he takes a seat across from you.

And for almost two months now it has been Seonghwa. We have been inseparable since that fateful day. We might be on the cusp of dating but no matter how many times he brings it up I just can’t say yes. My mind is so clearly set on picking Seonghwa, but, it's my fickle heart that is standing in the way of fully letting him in. He makes me so happy, so it should be the obvious choice of Seonghwa but it’s almost as if Yeosang cast a spell on you. No, fuck him for screwing with my life even after he’s no longer in it.

Your kinda boyfriend Seonghwa was throwing a party and of course you had  to go. It didn’t take you long to get ready and take the elevator down 3 floors to his apartment. As you neared his floor you could hear the slight thumping of a deep bass. As the elevator dinged and opened its doors to the hallway, almost shaking with the music. You turn right and walk down the warmly lit hall close towards my destination. Another right and I’m hit with the stench of weed and alcohol. Dodging the dazed bodies of both men and women to finally reach the heart of the party.

My eyes roamed the crowd, taking in the delightful sight. There’s a young girl swaying her hips in time with the beat, a drink in hand raised above her head. Looking to my left I see two young men, bodies facing one another in an intimate type of way. The taller of the two looked down at his partner with a soft expression of bliss coating his features while his counterpart excitedly shared some story, hands and arms flinging around to better share the experience.

Continuing to scan the crowd I finally see Seonghwa. Squeezing, sliding and ducking, I’m able to make my way through the crowd and reach him. Moving closer to him I wrap my arm around his and he finally turns noticing me. “Y/n! You made it!” He moves his arm causing mine to fall but he leans down and pulls me into a hug. His scent of warm vanilla and coconut rum washed over my senses. I felt the twitch of arousal flicker down to my lower stomach at the pressure of his hands running from my shoulder blades down to finally wrap around my hips.

A chill ran down my spine, but not of pleasure. I can feel the burning of eyes labored onto my back. My body stiffened and my palms began to sweat. Sensing my change seonghwa releases from the hug and sets his focus solely on my face. His brows curl in concern and he places his hands on my shoulders to pull me out of my frozen state.

It can’t be him. He doesn’t know Seonghwa, right?

“Y/n?” Seonghwa shakes my shoulders slightly, finally pulling me out of my state. “Yes hwa?” My voice barely a whisper. I clear my throat and repeat the sentence. “You went all quiet. Are you okay?” His hands move up to cup my cheeks and I can’t help but smile at his comforting warmth. “Yes hwa. Just got lost in thought I guess.” You try to laugh it off but he still seems to be on edge. You move his hands from your face and hold them in yours, “Come on, let’s go get a drink.”

~

A few drinks later and you definitely forgot about the chilling thought of him being here. There was a slight buzz clouding your mind as you and your kind of boyfriend danced within the crowd. You could feel the heat of his body pressed closely behind yours. His hands held a weak grip on your hips, just enough of pressure to keep your ass connected with his pelvis. Swaying sensually to the music with a tall handsome man behind you, a great buzz growing, your mind finally turned off. This feeling enlightened your mind of its troubles and just let you be.

This euphoric feeling did not last long when the chill returned, slithering it’s way down my spine. Shooting my eyes open, I now searched the crowd for the source. Relief started to settle my jumpy body but disappeared when I spotted him.

He looked like a god. Standing in the corner of the room, drink stopped just at his full lips and his darkened eyes met mine from across the room. Stopping the movement of my body as the rush of emotions consumes me. Seonghwa’s grip tightens, encouraging me to keep moving with him. The memory of Yeosang hands grabbing me the same way causes a flare of panic to jolt my system alive. Grabbing Seonghwas hands from my hips while still holding them, I turned to face him, “I’m not feeling so good hwa. I’m going to go home, I think.” Obviously drunk, he whines out a response but I place a quick kiss to his cheek and head towards the front door.

~

I could feel him following close behind me.

His footsteps mocked mine, the heel of his boot clicking against the black and white tile. The sound echoed louder and soon enough there was a hand stopping me by the shoulder. “Y/n.” My breath hitches at the sound of his deep voice. “Please don’t walk away from me again.” He turns me around to face him but my head is locked downward, staring at his shiny black combat boots. With his other hand he hooks a finger underneath my chin and lifts my line of vision to meet his.

Gone were the inky, brooding eyes I’ve come to know and fear, now his eyes shine like two pools of dark honey inviting me into the sweetness. His warm eyes flicker all across my face before landing briefly on my lips once and taking their final place meeting back with mine. Our faces are so close that I can smell the sweet scent of peach, no doubt from the flavor of soju he had been drinking. His thumb gently runs back and forth over my bottom lips as his eyes never leave mine.

Reality hits me like a fucking train. Taking a step back, I break the contact between us and now I’m left with a cold feeling deep deep inside me. His mouth opens to speak again but I hold my hand up to stop him. “What can I help you with Yeosang?” I managed to muster up every ounce of courage I had. He falters at my response. A long silence drags on between us. He’s just staring intently at me, mouth slightly agape and his posture now rigid. “Okay then. Good night Yeosang.” Turning around I continue walking straight, aiming for the elevator directly in front of me. I don’t look back. I press the button and the doors slide open. Entering the old fashioned metal cage-like elevator I finally turn and see him. Standing exactly as I left him. It’s not until the doors are about to close that I see him start forward. It’s too late. The doors have shut and the 5th floor button is already glowing with its destination.

I make it down the long hallway to my apartment, the last and furthest one from the elevator. I kick off my shoes in the entryway and slug my way into the joined kitchen and living room. I open the fridge door and grab my picker of water, setting it on the island behind me. It’s at this point that my mind is no longer thinking. There are only the basic thoughts like the ones for water and sleep. I grab a cup from the cupboard next to me, then pour and gulp the chilled water. The water energizes me long enough to make it to the couch and once my head hits the soft throw pillow, I’m out.

~

I’m jolted from my sleep by a loud smack at the door. I froze, careful not to make a sound. Then a fury of knocks follow the smack. My dazed brain racks itself for some sort of rationalization for the situation. I jump to the thought of Seonghwa. He was pretty wasted, he could be coming up to check on me. My heart does a guilty flip. I get to my feet and head over to the door. The banging has stopped by the time I open the door. The man on his knees before me was not who I was expecting. The sound of me opening the door has him lifting his hanging head. His dark shaggy hair moves in motion with his head. The dark bangs framing his face fall back with the rest of his hair when he is fully looking up at me. The look in his eyes has not changed from when I had just seen him last.

“I knocked on every door.” His rasp almost brought my knees to tremble. “Excuse me?” My words came out weak. “I knocked on every door on this floor to find you y/n.” He closes his eyes and lets his head fall back even further making him look even more like he was carved from stone. He takes a deep breath, holds, and then lets it go slowly, reopening his eyes to look back at me. “I was wrong y/n. Ever since that night you walked away from me, I have not been able to get you out of my mind.” His hand jets up to push the hair falling into his face back. “I don’t understand what you did to me y/n but all I know is I want you. I need you.” He meets my eyes again and they are wild this time, almost as if I can see the thoughts consuming his mind like a wildfire. “Well to quote your own words Yeosang, ‘This was a one time thing. Don’t get it twisted.’ Plus if you couldn’t tell, I’m already seeing someone.” He let out a laugh at the last part of my retort. “Come on y/n, we both know you can’t fully commit to him.” Once again feeling the annoyance that once always accompanied his presence, “And why might that be Yeosang?” He rather slowly gets to his feet, now towering slightly over me, and begins to back us into my apartment.

“You know why y/n. You are just too scared to admit it like I was.” I stop moving, causing him to stop as well. He does not get to come here and treat me like this again. “Fuck off Yeosang. I’m not some toy you can just pick up and play with when you are bored.” A half grin pulled the left corner of his lips up. “That’s not how it seemed to feel last time we were together y/n. Don’t you remember?” The flashbacks playing through my mind cause waves of pleasure to migrate to my stomach and lower. “Oh bite me.” As soon as you said it, you wish you hadn’t. He closed the final distance between you two and he leans in to whisper, “Don’t tempt me doll.” His hot breath fanned down the length of your neck before he stopped right above the last spot he had bitten you. “Y/n, I need to know that you feel the same before we go any further.” My mind whirled from the sleepiness, his confession, his soft lips placing sweet kisses all along my neck and exposed shoulder and my once buried emotions for him resurfacing. Taking a deep breath I pull back from Yeosang. He seems defeated by my movement until I grab his hand. Meeting his eye briefly, I turn to lead him further into my apartment. Walking past the living room and through a tiny hall I stop outside the door to my bedroom. Before I open the door I release his hand and grab him by the face, effectively pulling his head down to my level. “I can’t be another one time thing with you again Yeosang. I won’t be able to pull myself together if it happens again.” A couple tears fell down my cheeks and now it's his turn to hold my face. Wiping my tears away and placing a kiss where each one fell, he looks at my lips and leans his head in to kiss me.

I wish I could say I forgot how soft his lips were, but I can’t. He worked my mouth open slowly for him to let his tongue slide in, deepening the kiss. When he pulls away I find myself fiending more and more, just needing another hit. “Y/n, I’m the biggest fool for ever thinking that you were.” My breath shortened in excitement and hopefulness. I reached behind me and opened the door. Keeping one hand on cupping my face, the other hooked under my knee, urging me to straddle him as he strode towards my bed. He looked into my eyes the whole time, our souls connecting. He tossed me onto the bed and placed himself in between my legs. “You are mine, doll. I want you and only you.” My whole body becomes heightened with arousal, I try to roll my hips into his but he stops me. “No, I’m going to take my time with you and show you how much you truly mean to me y/n.”

He starts by peeling off the black dress that I was wearing, leaving me in my matching blush pink underwear set. I assumed Seonghwa and I would end up sleeping together tonight so I wore it, and by the angered look on his face, it seems Yeosang figured the same. Frustration getting the better of him he rips my underwear off, like legits rips. The tear of fabric is all I hear before a rush of cool air hits my private area. He then does the same for the matching bralette. Anger now subsides to awe as he sees my naked form laid out in front of him. “So gorgeous.” He mumbles before leaning down and biting the sweet spot on my neck. As he bites he sucks to create a hickey. He repeats this action all down my neck, chest, breast, stomach and inner thigh. Leaning back on his knees once again he admires his work. He takes my new markings in as if he was staring at a piece of art, which in some ways I guess this could be his own art form.

Once he's decided that he has admired his artwork for long enough he slides off the bed to the ground,  pulling me by the hips towards his face and opening my legs , bearing  myself to him. He licks his lips and then he dives right into my soaking pussy. All kinds of sounds, moans, whimpers, pleas, etc come from my mouth as he eats me out. He doesn’t let up his assault as he makes me cum the first time, no he continues and adds two fingers. Soon enough I’m reaching my second climax. Still not letting up he adds a third finger and picks up his pace. Creating a pleasure I’ve never experienced before has me screaming out his name as I cum for a third time in a matter of minutes. Panting and truly struggling to breathe after that unworldly experience leaves me speechless. Yeosang stands from his current position, licking his fingers clean of my juices and licks his lips clean as well. The sight has my still pulsing walls clench again in excitement.

Pulling his form fitting, dark purple sweater over his head, exposing his lean torso and smooth abs to me. He reached for his pants and soon enough the sound of his dick was slapping against his skin. Mouth and pussy watering at the sight of this Greecian God standing before me. Kneeling back on the bed and then trapping myself under his form, he lines his tip at my dripping entrance. The thrill of having him inside me once again is almost enough to have me reaching my 4th climax tonight. He then slid himself fully inside, my walls burning with pleasure. “Fuck” the word comes out in a breathy moan directly into his ear. “Holy shit doll.” He flexed his hips and another wave of pleasure burned through me. “Taking me so well.” he drew his eyes away from mine and looked down to where we were connected. Slowing his pumps and filling me as much as he can, repeating the torturous motion over and over until I almost reach the edge, and then he stops. I dug my nails into his back, a plea for him to stop teasing me, and he quickened his pace. He flipped us over and pulled out the same move he did when we first had sex. Pulling me closer onto his sweat glistened chest, he wrapped his arms around me and began to flex his hips harder and faster inside me. He hit the spot deep inside that caused my vision to go blurry and my head short circuit. Hitting the spot over and over again he had me releasing in no time. He followed shortly after, once again filling my oversensitive pussy with his cum.

Unlike the first time we just stayed in this position for a while. We stayed connected like this for as long as we could. Neither one wanted to break this magically-seeming moment. We would have had we not started to get hard again, while still inside me. The sensation, while amazing, was too painful after 4 orgasms. He pulled himself out of me and grabbed my dress from the floor and began to clean me then himself off. When he was done he tossed the dress back on the ground and just stood there staring at me. Not sure what to say after suddenly feeling self conscious, “You can leave if you want now.” I say it almost as a test, but really it is just me outwardly thinking my biggest fear, that he lied and he was just playing me. He smiled and joined me in bed. “I wasn’t lying, y/n. I want you and only you.” He places a kiss on my forehead and he tucks us under the comforter. For the first time in months, I was finally able to sleep all through the night.

[jeyramarie]

Mr. & Mrs. Holland-(Mob! Tom Holland x Mob! Reader) part 8

summary: war is about to begin 

warning: angst, cursing, idk what else lol  

w/c: 1,462

a/n: hi guys!!! sorry for the little hiatus 👀 but i decided to finish up this fic at 10 parts, so two parts left 🤭

i’ve been getting a few mob!tom ideas lately so let’s see if it goes well! if you like it and wanna be tagged, lmk and as asual; happy reading everyone 🦋

prologue~ part 1~ part 2~ part 3~ part 4~ part 5~ part 6~ part 7~

“Jane Cavanaugh?” Y/n whispered under her breath in complete shock, not taking her eyes off the paper as Tom walked back and forth around the office. 

“This can’t be right.. There were never records of him being married.” he muttered as he ran his hand through his hair. She sat there in complete shock, not even sure if she was breathing. Suddenly she felt Tom’s hands turn the desk chair and grab her face trying to break her out of her trance. His voice sounded mumbled as her thoughts ran over her. 

“Love? Look at me…. look at me!” Tom shouted as his wife’s eyes drifted from his chest to his eyes. 

“That’s why she mentioned her husband. Tom, she thinks we killed him…” 

“Darling, calm down okay?” 

“She came into our house, she knows where we live, Tom. She… she came here.. She has access to everything of ours right now. What the fuck are we gonna do?” Y/n rambled as she stared into Tom’s eyes in desperation. 

“It’s gonna be okay. I won't let her take over.” he said as his thumbs rubbed her cheeks softly. She placed her head on his chest, wiping her tears on his shirt making him move a hand to the back of her head, pulling her closer. 

“I didn’t want to do this but.. I have to call my dad.” and that’s what she did after walking out of that office. Y/n needed to speak to her father, do the fact that she recognized Jane’s maiden name. Her dad must know her or have something on her. The phone rang about 4 times before someone answered. 

‘Hello?’ a soft voice answered, making Y/n wonder if she had dialed the right number. 

‘Mom?’ 

‘Y/n? Honey, why are you calling?’

‘Well, I’m great mom. How are you?’ she said as she rolled her eyes to her mother’s behavior. 

‘Real funny but why are you calling? Do you need money?’ 

‘No, I don't need money, mom. I need to speak to dad.. immediately.’ 

‘Oh, of course you call right before the funeral.’ Y/n’s face turned pale as her breath got caught at her throat. 

‘Funeral? Wh-what happened?’ her mother’s voice sounded muffled as she heard the explanation of her father’s death. Y/n’s father was the perfect man until she was old enough to start her own mob when she sold her off to the Holland family. She had already met and fell for Tom before she knew about the arrangement. Apparently, he felt threatened by his daughter’s business abilities so he felt the need to get her out of his way. 

After some time Y/n had enough and hung up the phone, cutting her mother off. He was poisoned. The funeral was the next day, she wasn't invited but she was going to show up anyway. Y/n is the only heir to the business and fortune, of course she was going for a last hurrah. She walked out of her office with a pissed off expression and walked into Tom’s office to see Harrison and William there too. 

“I need to talk to your lawyer, right now.” 

“Why? What happened?” Tom asked, standing up and walking towards his wife who was fuming in anger. 

“My father is dead, his funeral is tomorrow. I know my mother, she’ll try and steal everything… I’m the rightful heir, I need that lawyer. Now.” Y/n said with teary eyes, receiving pity looks from Harrison and William who just stood there. 

“I’ll give him a call and see if he can come over. Alright?” he asked, putting his hands on her cheeks.

“It’s gonna be alright, darling.” Y/n nodded and looked to the ground as she took a deep breath to calm down. 

“Thank you.” she muttered under her breath as Tom pulled her into a hug. 

A few hours went by and she was in her husband’s office as he continued to make calls. Y/n doubted any lawyers would just go to their house last minute but she needed the lawyer. As you spoke to William and Harrison someone knocked at the door making the room go silent. William walked over there and opened the door to reveal a well suited man with a briefcase. 

“Michael, thank you so much for coming on such short notice.” Tom said, shaking the man’s hand. 

“It’s no problem. I’m always here to help. What’s up?” 

“Well, it's not me. It's my wife. Darling? Come here.” he said, stretching out his hand towards you as you mumbled a ‘excuse me’ to Harrison and walked towards the mob boss.

“Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. Thank you so much for coming.” Y/n said as she shook his hand and gave him a kind smile.

“Pleasure. What seems to be the problem, ma’am?” 

“I have a family issue…” and she continued to explain everything that was going on between her and her parents. The rest of the day was spent rummaging through files, making calls, faxing papers, everything that could help Y/n get what she deserved. Turns out her father did make a will and by the looks of it it was the only one. 

The next day came around, rain drops ran down the bedroom mirror as Y/n stood by it while drinking a cup of coffee. Suddenly, a pair of arms circled around her waist pulling her towards a broad chest. She took a deep breath as she closed her eyes, feeling comfort and peace. 

“Are you ready for today?” Tom mumbled against her shoulder before giving her a soft peck.

“Not really but.. It has to be done. I’m just thankful you’re gonna be there with me.” Y/n said as she turned in his arms to look up at him. 

“I’ll always be here for you.” he smiled as he leaned in and kissed her lips slowly. They began getting ready, both wearing black of course. After a few hours Dylan came around with the car, opening the door for the mob wife to get in followed by her husband. The Holland’s finally arrived and immediately started turning heads since no one expected them to go. 

“Why are you here?” her mother asked, making everyone turn their heads to look at the interaction.

“You invited me, remember? And I came to collect what’s rightfully mine.” Y/n smiled wickedly as she pulled out papers from her purse. She handed her the papers and continued walking to her father’s casket to say her last goodbye. 

“I know you would’ve hated this but I became what you feared most… You.” she whispered before kissing her fingertips and placing them on the casket. 

“What the hell is this, Y/n?” her mother shouted, making the mob wife turn and chuckle dryly.

“It’s my father’s first and only will. Which says that everything goes to his heir, aka me.” 

“Wh-what? This can’t be happening.”

“Oh well it is. You have till the end of the week to leave and I really really hope you don’t make this difficult.” and with that Y/n grabbed her husband’s hand, walking to the car. 

“Why are you doing this?” her mother shouted as Y/n stood by the car door ready to climb in. 

“This is what you get for not protecting me.. when you knew what they were gonna do to me… for selling me to a mob boss. Everything that happens now is what you deserve, dad got out of it rather quickly but you? You’ll see.” She smiled and lowered her sunglasses before climbing into the car and driving back to her office. 

“I want her car towed, right now.” she ordered as she stared at her phone while William made the call for the tow truck. 

“Where do you want it to be taken?”

“Home.” William nodded and told the person on the phone. Once at her office she climbed out and walked to the door but immediately stopped when Tom called her when he lowered the window. 

“You want me to stay with you?” she smiled and walked towards the car to give him a sweet kiss. 

“You don’t have to stay, I’m okay. Just call me when you get home, okay?” Tom nodded, giving her one last peck and stared at her as she walked into her building. He closed the window and turned his head to William.

“You know what to do.” the man nodded and got out of the car to go protect her boss as a horrible mob war was being planned. Tom didn’t know when it was gonna happen but he knew the business. And after that funeral, a war was deemed to happen. 

mr&mrs.h: @ilovefandoms102 @halsmultibitch​ @guillerminacaba @teenwishes08 @runawayolives @theartisticqueen @quacksonlover81 @wonderfulfluffer @spidernerdsblog @nerdy-collector-festival @tyb1 @bella03riv @blueberrynonnie

[littlemisslipbalm]

“you make me so angry sometimes”

idk if this gif makes sense, but i feel like it will if you read the story, it just gives me that vibe. 

A one shot I cooked up idk, it’s about Harry and a makeup artist on DWD, it’s quite angsty, idk how that happened, it’s also very long, idk how that happened either, maybe i do a part 2, maybe i don’t idk lmk. Feedback is appreciated, not proofread. REBLOGS help writers tremendously and i love reading whatever you write in the tags its my favorite thing!! Love yall and Merry Christmas!

Word Count: 17.7k | Warnings: ENEMIES to LOVERS! swearing, angst!, some anxiety -like self-doubt, yn being mean to harry kind of a lot, i dont remember, nothing too crazy, Nick Kroll?, lots of conversation

-

When she pictured herself as a makeup artist in Los Angeles, she hadn’t pictured exactly what she was doing right now.

She had expected doing gorgeous makeup for gorgeous actresses or doing wildly fun stuff like in Euphoria. And because of that she had worked her ass off to get where she was today. She had practiced for hours, worked countless hours for free, and networked to the cows came fucking home.

So why the fuck was she using tattoo-strength concealer to cover up the maybe 60 tattoos some asshole musician turned actor had all over?

Don’t Worry Darling was her first major film to work on so she couldn’t complain. She was happy to simply be there. Well she had been. The first day she had showed up 15 minutes early and had worn her favorite power suit she had. It was dark navy with a white lace long sleeve turtleneck underneath. She hoped to look fun but professional.

Hollywood was all about impressions, especially first ones, even when you’re the makeup artist. She had quickly learned that she was one of six makeup artists. One of them being the friend who had helped her get the job, Angie. Angie was like her surrogate mother in Los Angeles that she had met on her first film job for something much less high profile than Olivia Wilde’s second directing project. Her braided grey hair and fabulous jeans had drawn Y/N right in and they had connected instantly.

Since Y/N was deemed the most inexperienced by the head of the makeup department, she was relegated to easier jobs: assisting the other artists on main characters sometimes, mostly dealing with minor characters touch ups (and full make-up if she was lucky), and the job nobody wanted: tattoo coverage.

Harry Styles was one of the leads for the film and besides his minimal acting, everyone knew he was a worldwide rockstar. With the rock and roll life starting off as a popstar life at the ripe age of 16, he had amassed around 60 tattoos in the past decade. Impressive by her standard normally. She usually counted herself as an appreciator of tattoos and their art, finding them similar to makeup and the self expression that came with both forms. Especially since she had a few of her own, but when she walked into Trailer #6 and saw a good amount of Harry’s tattoos, she wanted to murder every artist he’d ever been to.

She had to make an inventory the first day of all of his visible tattoos when he was just wearing boxers. He had been friendly, trying to make conversation, but as the time wore on, they both grew tired and silent. She had to write down the location and a description of every tattoo and as he took off everything but boxers she grew more and more annoyed with his random and dumb tattoos. Some of them were amazing, the eagle, the anchor, the butterfly, and the ferns were probably her favorites. But some of them, she couldn't hold back her rolling eyes and annoyed expressions. The “Big” on his right big toe, a miniscule lock, almost everything on his inner left arm (the packers logo, Pingu, etc.)

She traces at the rose and the ship and then flips his arm out to reveal his inner arm to her gaze. “That is a big fucking bee.”

He snickers, “Y’like it?”

She ignores his question. “For god’s sake, someone is needle happy,” she said as she examined his left arm, taking note of every permanent drawing.

He shrugs his right shoulder, uninhibited by her prodding. “Dunno, beginning to regret some of them.”

“I would hope,” she mutters, scribbling on her paper the various ones she had just seen on his arm. Next was his ribcage ones.

He scoffs, “Oi, it’s not like you haven’t got any.”

“How would you-” She looks at him wide eyed.

“Right…” he takes his right hand and pushes her hair past her ear to reveal three little red line butterflies following the curve of her ear, “There. At least.”

She huffs and knocks his hand away from her. Her hair falling back into its place.

“Maybe some located in a few more intimate places I’m guessing from the red rushing to your cheeks right now.”

“Can you just let me do my job,” she says, not giving in to his teasing or sparing him a glance as she feels his intense gaze on her face. She was studying his left rib cage where a few cool tattoos happened to be.

“You at least have some taste or persuasive artists because not all of these are shit,” she speaks again after just the sound of her pen on the paper filled the trailer.

“Gee, thanks,” he laughs unamused and rolls his large green eyes.

She thought he had some of the biggest eyes she’d ever seen. But she also knew to keep that to herself because he’d either take it as a compliment and think she was noticing him too much or he’d take it as a massive insult and get her fired.

His right hand taps at his thigh, tapping a rhythm she didn’t care to pay any attention too. She just wanted to finish the stupid inventory of the stupid tattoos on this stupid man.

“Take those off,” she says to Harry, looking back at her clipboard again, filling up quickly with her notes.

He stands there, staring at her stubbornly. He was entirely bored with this exercise, especially since his company was some of the worst he’s ever had. She spares him a glance when she doesn’t notice any slipping off of the colorful sweatpants he’s wearing.

She arches a brow at him, her pen tapping impatiently against the paper. “Go on. Can’t imagine you want this to go on longer than it already has.”

He rolls his eyes again, slipping his thumbs into the waistline of the pants and tugging down. Simultaneously, he toes off the dirty vans he seemed to wear everywhere. The fabric pools easily and he steps out of them and discards them on the couch behind him. He’s actually wearing black briefs. She chooses not to notice anything further than that.

“Socks...can stay on,” She tries to say as he begins to peel one off. He stops midway and nods.

She flings his shirt to him, not needing to see his naked torso for another moment, “I know you’ve got some feet and ankle tats, but I also know that you won’t be wearing anything that will expose them. Thank your lucky stars that I don’t have to makeup your feet.”

He catches the shirt easily and slips his arms inside before tugging it quickly over his head and over his expansive shoulders. The ferns disappear out of sight.

“Well then we’re almost done then. Just got the knee ones -”

“And the tiger. That’s gonna be one son of a bitch,” she sighs and examines his legs, not bothering to crouch.

“What the actual fuck dude?” Her tone is exasperate and like she would rather be anywhere else than here.

“I’m sorry?” He sputters, hands on his hips and eyes bewildered.

“Yes. No. Oui. Non. Who are you?” She rubs at her eyes and shakers her head.

“S’a little rude.”

“You’re right,” she semi-rushes out at his serious tone, ready to apologize. When a grin spreads over his face and he chuckles under his breath she really wants to smack him upside the head. He was exhausting. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Thought it was funny at the time. Kind of think it’s even funnier now since it’s got you all mad.” He leans over her shoulder to look at her notes and when she glances at him unhappily he just looks smug.

“Alright,” she finishes the scribble of a description and clicks the end of her pen, “All done. You can get dressed. I’ll see you bright and early for tattoo makeup. It’s gonna take about an hour to do all this, just so you can mentally prepare for that.”

“It was nice to meet you,” he attempts at a friendly and professional farewell. “See you tomorrow…” he trails off as he watches her turn on her heel and walk out of the trailer door swiftly. The door swung shut and bounced a little bit in her wake.

Harry sighed and adjusted his clothes and hair in the mirror. After a moment he shakes his head, an even louder sigh escaping him.

-

“Good morning!” She greets happily, walking into the trailer without a knock. Well-rested and happy at least that she doesn’t have to just inspect a body, she looks around the trailer.

She realizes no one is there and she’s taken aback. First of all, if Harry wasn’t there then he shouldn’t have left his trailer unlocked. And second, he was fucking late, the fucking twat.

She grumbles, setting her coffee on the countertop. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “In through the nose, out through the mouth” she mutters. She knew this was a big opportunity and having a big star like Harry in her corner could make her career. She needed them to get off on a better foot today.

“Good form, I’d say relax the shoulders a little more,” the door swings open carrying the California twang-British accent that she would soon become all too accustomed to.

Harry points at her shoulders and narrows his eyes regarding her in the trailer. She offers a strained smile through the mirror and Harry sets down his personal things on the couch.  

“Alright, well let’s get started shall we,” she smiles and turns to him, gesturing to the swivel chair next to her.

He nods, a twinkle in his eye as he regards her. He’s unsure of the tone and attitude she’s giving him today. She had been feisty yesterday, cordial at times, but mostly biting and witty. He had liked it. It had made the whole ordeal bearable whereas now she seemed to be laying it on a little thick.

“Just your hands and neck today,” she says, pulling out the makeup materials needed and a checklist of the tattoos she needed to make sure were invisible.

“Should only take..a little under an hour today. Just gonna remind you now though, other days we won’t be so lucky.”

Harry chuckles under his breath and rolls his head around his shoulders before sitting in the chair. “Were you tired yesterday?” He inquires.

“Why do you ask?” She throws a glance over her shoulder at Harry. He’s begun slipping off his sweatshirt and yawns as he does it.

“You seem different from yesterday and I’m just wondering which one is the real you.”

She continues working about the room and rolls her eyes to herself, “I’m always the real me. I come no other way, but this morning I woke up and thought ‘this is the job you’ve fucking wanted for ages, so stop being such a bitch so you don’t get fired, you prick’.” She pauses and turns to face Harry. “The ‘you prick’ was directed at me, that was still part of my thought,” she adds.

He throws his head back and laughs. Then he nods, still laughing lightly, “I get that. Sometimes I’m just so in my head and yesterday I was just so fuckin’ bored. Sorry if I got on your nerves.”

“Don’t mention it.” She waves her hand at him nonchalantly.  

Then she moves to inspect his hands and notices the lack of rings, unlike yesterday when she had to make him take them off.

“You have amazing cuticles,” she notices and mentions without any pretences. Harry mutters his thanks, pursing his lips as he watches her work.

She stops her inspection and places the clipboard on the countertop in front of them.

“Could you take your necklaces off? I need to cover up half of the swallows and the years, for when you unbutton your shirt a bit.”

He wets his lips and nods, hands going to fiddle with the clasps behind his neck. He slips off one of the necklaces with ease, a yellow eye beaded necklace that he lays gently on the countertop next to the clipboard. Then he takes his cross and pulls it over his head, no clasp needed.

“Could I put some music on?” Harry asks after five minutes of Y/N working in silence and Harry only being able to stare either at himself, her work, or nowhere.

“I can,” she stops her work for a moment, “Can’t have you messing up the makeup before it sets. Otherwise I’d have to kill you.” Harry can’t be sure if she’s joking or not. Therefore, he was intent on not messing it up.

“Any requests?” She stands at the counter now, instead of seated on a stool working on Harry's left hand.

He shrugs, like he hasn’t got the faintest idea about good music. She refrains from rolling her eyes once again because she feels herself in a test. She wets her lips, sifting through different things in her Spotify and then lands on her playlist titled “it’s your song” named after Elton John’s song. It had some other musicians, a mix of Queen, Bowie, and more and she was sure she would pass the test.

She presses shuffle and She’s Always A Woman by Billy Joel begins to play over her laptop. Harry nods pleased and she wants to shake her head at him.

She can’t hold back the scoff though after a moment of going back to finishing his hand.

“What?” His British accent thickens with his annoyance growing.

“Nothing,” she chirps, intently putting the final touches on his wrist.

“Seriously. What?”

She stands and sets down the makeup. “Can you unbutton your shirt?” She made a note to herself that from now on she’d have to have him take his shirt off before setting to work because if his hands got messed up she’d have to start over. Thankfully he was already wearing a button up this morning.

He stares at her, offering no movement, just inquisitively waiting for her to respond to his original question.

She shuts her eyes, taking another deep breath and then bites at her lower lip. “It’s just...you’re so easy to read.” She fears adding anything else and moves towards him with the makeup hoping to encourage him to unbutton his shirt.  

His right hand deftly pulls at the buttons as he regards her. His eyes are intent on her, she can see him clearly calculating her. Her green paisley button up tucked up into the back of her bra leaving a splay of her stomach. The semi-balloon sleeves cinched at the wrists leading to her slightly ringed hands. The oversized blue jeans that have no holes, just a tiny patch right next to the left pocket. The frayed ends of the pants laying over her rather pristine white old skool vans.

The Boxer fades in as she waits for him to finish the unbuttoning of the shirt. He’s still staring at her.

“Am I?” He finally inquires, voice pitched higher like he doesn’t believe her.

She gives him a serious stare and leans over him and adjusts the collar of his shirt. She adds paper towels to avoid makeup on his clothes.  

“Yes!” She laughs, “And you don’t even think so, which is like...of course.”

He hums, tilting his head back as she sets to work on covering up the swallows. He wiggles his hands that now both rest on the arm chairs.

“I don’t see it.”

“Of course you don’t,” she glances at his face, their eyes meeting for a moment. “You’re Harry Styles. Everyone is in love with this image you created for yourself and it has just enough of your true self that people feel like they really know you, but you also maintain the illusion. So you think you’re this mysteriously amazing, not like the rest guy, but you are just like the rest of them. Obsessed with yourself and rich so you’re deemed eccentric rather than crazy for all the extravagant shit you do. So when you want me to play music and don’t offer any suggestions I know exactly what music I need to play for you to like me.”

“I feel like that last part says more about you than it does me,” he quirks a brow at her, straining his neck to look at her face as she continues to work.

She flushes, his response both better and worse than she expected. She had gotten a little carried away in her response and she had no idea why. She truly wasn’t one to go off on people so easily and especially not with someone she hardly knew, but something about Harry had her on edge. She was just thankful he hadn’t gotten mad at her response, instead he took it in stride. Further proving her point that he was extremely smart and did things purposefully and she saw right through it all.

She grumbles, “It says that all anyone has to do to get close to you is understand the smallest bit about you and you’ll let them in.”

“That is just so completely wrong, Y/N, I hate to break it to you.” It’s Harry rolling his eyes now, unable to move much more of his body as she continues painting on the concealer to remove his tattoos for the movie.

“Fine. Enlighten me on what I got wrong.”

Their argument had all but drowned out their music. They both did love this music and ironically if they would just shut their mouths, they’d probably like each other a lot more.

“Might as well,” he sighs. “First of all, my image is authentic and of course I don’t want to give myself all away. I enjoy my privacy and for everyone to truly know me I’d have to give that up. Which I’m not keen on. So, I regret to inform you but I am the same guy everyone is “in love with”. Second, I know I am a little self-involved, how else would I get here if I wasn’t constantly taking inventory of myself and reevaluating who I am. As a musician, I want to give as much of myself as possible or else it just feels inauthentic. And the extravagant thing, I can’t help that I like nice things and my job has allowed me to afford those things.”

He stops to take a deep breath and she’s working in stunned silence, in disbelief that Harry is even telling her any of this or that he’s spoken that much and so quickly. Wasn’t he notorious for speaking slowly with barely even a sentence worth of actual information. He sounds tired and frustrated, but also, surprisingly, sincere.

He continues, “The music thing. Maybe it was a test, but still it doesn’t mean I give everyone a mile when they say their favorite musicians match up with mine or something. I note that they either did their homework or might be an interesting person to get to know.”

“So which am I?” She widens her eyes.

“Obviously the second even if you’re also making it painfully clear that you don’t like me.”

“You’re smarter than I thought, Harry. I’ll give you that,” she smirks slyly, finishing up the bird coverage now.

He laughs. “Thanks,” he drawls out.

“And I admit that maybe you aren’t as easy to read as I made out, but I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree about the whole being your authentic self. I just don’t buy it. I can see your mind working constantly, you’re not one to just let yourself be free in public. And I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, I’m just saying, you shouldn’t pretend like that’s not what you’re doing.”

Her final thought leaves Harry silent. She pays no attention to his silence or at least she’s actively ignoring it. Instead she tunes back into the music that had gotten them back onto the wrong foot. This was going to be a long few months.

When she’s satisfied with her work, she has them sit there for thirty minutes to give it all time to set before Harry is off to hair and other makeup. They sit there listening to music. Neither of them have spoken again, except instructions from her and Harry’s hums of approval of songs.  

Harry stands up after thirty minutes as she stays behind to pack up some items. Just as he’s about to step out of the door, he turns and calls her name.

“For the record, I don’t think you’re giving me a fair shot. You said yourself that you’re different every day. That every version of you, is you. So I hope you’ll give me the same allowance, every version of me is me. In this trailer, in my music videos, on tv, in interviews, in my free time. It’s all truly me.”

She bites her inner cheek as he ducks his head and exits the trailer, not allowing her any response.

-

“You’re late!”

“Meeting ran over with Nick and Olivia. Sorry,” Harry says as he begins to undress.

It’s the first day she has to cover all of his tattoos. It was going to take forever by all accounts. It had been two weeks since shooting had begun and she had gotten the simple hands and neck down to 45 minutes so she could only dread what his entire body would take.

“It’s fine,” she grumbles, knowing there wasn’t really anything else she could say about him coming late from a meeting with the director and producer.

Over the last two weeks, they hadn’t grown any fonder of one another. Not at all. They at least had gotten into a system though and she was grateful for that at least.

They showed up, Harry got in his chair, she set up the music, and they got to work. Harry would practice lines on some days and he’d tell her that before she turned on the music so there were no interruptions. Sometimes they talked about stuff on set or music or she’d give Harry his line when he was trying to be off script and forgot one. She wouldn’t classify it as pleasant, but they weren’t at each other throats like they were originally.

Trailer 6 had gotten a little homier as the weeks went by, too. Harry began leaving some of his stuff there and he started putting up silly drawings he would make while on set or polaroids people had taken with him while he was there. He tacked up napkins of restaurants that catered the set and wrote funny jokes and quotes on post it notes. His personal assistants sometimes brought in snacks while Y/N was still working and Harry always offered her some. They were usually healthy, but sometimes she’d eat some. Jeff, his manager, had also stopped by on occasion during his tattoo touch-ups that had become a thing after shooting days had grown longer.

On first meeting, Jeff had said, “Y/N? Harry mentioned you.”

She had turned to Harry with an arched brow and he had shrugged. When she looked back at Jeff she didn’t see Harry give Jeff one of the deadliest looks he could muster. She had grimaced and said “Well we spend enough time together for him to know my name. So thank god for that at least.”

They had all laughed and she had gotten back to work on Harry’s wrist.

Today, she needed Harry in his shorts. It was the first day of shooting where his character would be only in his boxers so she had to cover up all his visible tattoos. Olivia had told the makeup department they actually had to cover up his feet tattoos as well. She wanted him sockless in the scene and Y/N had groaned immediately when she made it to the trailer and Harry wasn’t already there.

“But please, for the sake of my job, strip, dude.” She says, arms crossed over her chest and leaning against the counter as she watched Harry set his things down. Her soft green striped cardigan is open, exposing the white tank top sitting underneath. Her bright green shorts hang loose on her, cinched at the waist and folded over once. Her white high top nike’s tap impatiently on the floor, waiting for Harry to get moving.

He nodded, truly feeling sorry for his tardiness, knowing today was a long day. He was anxious and tired. Acting was a different experience to music and he just was really trying his best.

As he began to take off his shirt, he laughed. His arms pulled the shirt over his head and when it popped out from beneath it, he repeated, “Strip, dude,” attempting to mimic her American accent.

He had practiced his American accent in front of her while running lines, but it had a 50’s drawl to it. His acting coach had been drilling him for weeks before shooting and he still liked to practice. The accent he had just down was far off from that and far off from hers too.

“Do not,” she warned.

“What?” He asks innocently and flutters his eyelashes.

She knows his game by now and she knows she should just ignore him. She knows this after fourteen days. She knows this after hours with him. She knows this, but then she’s opening her mouth and playing into his teases.

“Sorry, what’s a word you would know? Mate?” She tries for a British accent with the last word, knowing she can’t win this.

Harry snickers and scratches at his nose with his index finger before starting on taking off his pants. “You’re so Californian.”

“Thank you,” she chirps, moving to sit beside him now that he had settled.

“I like your shorts,” he muses, crossing his legs, likely a little cold.

She glances down at her cotton shorts that showed more of her thighs when she sat for a moment before returning her gaze to his left arm. The longest task of the day was this damn arm.

“Thanks,” she mumbles, “Wanted to be comfortable today. Knew it was gonna be long.”

A smile bubbles onto his face, his pink lips parting to reveal his shiny white teeth behind them. “So true.”

The music is low today. She had chosen Joni Mitchel’s Blue album for the first pick of the day. She had quickly learned Harry preferred listening to albums in order. It tended to make him less jumpy when the same artist came on multiple times like an album. So when she tried to play just an album one day, she found him more cooperative and less irritable.

After thirty minutes of work, she can’t stop noticing how shivery Harry is. It was late October in LA, so it was still warm, but admittedly the mornings could be a little chilly. His shivering was concerning for many reasons. Mainly he was messing up her work and concentration, but she also didn’t want him to get sick or something.

“Do you want me to see if they have a blanket and slippers or something? You look like you’re turning blue.”

Harry turns his attention to her. He had been reading over the script for today again. “That’d be great. I can call…” He trails off trying to think of the name of one of his assistants, but apparently he’s too scatterbrained for it. She assumed it was the hypothermia traveling to his brain already.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll walkie someone.” She says as she grabs the walkie talkie, flicking to the personal assistants channel.

“Hey,” she chirps happily. Harry noted how she talked to other people. So sweet, yet sincere. With him, it was serious and sincere but more biting, callous at times. Less so lately, but she definitely was sharper with him. He didn’t know if it even bothered him anymore. She was engaging if nothing else.

“Is someone free to bring two blankets and men’s slippers over to Trailer 6? I’ve got a naked Jack and I don’t want him freezing before I’m done covering up his tattoos.” She takes her finger off the talking button and glances sideways at him, “Who knows, maybe that would improve his acting. Y’know on second-thought-”

“Alright, alright,” Harry tries to grab for the walkie talkie, but she turns from him holding a finger up signalling him to wait as she listens for a response.

Someone says a simple “On it” and she turns off the walkie talkie and gets back to work.

“I took my finger off the speaker before I said the thing about your acting. Relax, Harry.” She says when he’s still glaring at her. “Just love to see you squirm.”

He shakes out his short chestnut hair, some of it falling over his forehead. Instinctively, she reaches up without even looking and smooths it back. Like she was tucking her own hair out of her eyes, but instead it was Harry’s. She decided to say nothing and was relieved when Harry didn’t say anything either.

She finishes his forearm and moves to his outer upper arm. The rose holds her attention when the PA knocks on the door and she has to race to get it. Nothing could stop her from moving on this work. It was already an hour in and she wanted to scream.

She swings open the door and she wants to die. It was Autumn. Her least favorite PA, of course. She was insufferable and obsessed with Harry. Which was not why Y/N found Autumn insufferable. There were so many more reasons. So many. But that particular character flaw didn’t help her case either. Y/N tried to just take the blankets and slippers from Autumn, but the woman insisted that she come in.

“I’ve got it,” Y/N says.

“No, don’t want you to get makeup on anything,” Autumn’s saccharine voice grinds at her ears and she contemplates cutting them off.

Harry sat in his chair, legs crossed, nodding along to the music, his script discarded on the counter in front of him.

“Hi Harry!” Autumn practically yells, walking right up to him.

Y/N takes a deep breath at the door, letting it swing shut. She bites her lower lip as an attempt to bite her tongue as she walks back to her set-up. The set-up Autumn was conveniently blocking.

“Hello, Autumn,” Harry says kindly, making eye contact with her. “How’re you today?”

“So great! So great! Thanks for asking. How are you?” She points a finger at him like she might poke him and Harry squirms away from her a bit. She, of course, doesn’t notice this.

“Well, thanks.” His eyes flicker to Y/N, who is standing behind Autumn, hands on her hips and attempting not to tap her foot. His tone is clearly dismissive, but Autumn must ignore it. Y/N knows Autumn isn’t as helpless as she tries to come off.

Autumn asks, “Where do you want these?”, gesturing to the two blankets and slippers stacked on top.

“Just on the counter is fine, thanks,” Harry says.

Autumn does as he says and then stands there with baited breath. Y/N’s not sure what she’s expecting. For Harry to ask for her hand in marriage or something? But he just glances between the two women. His own foot begins wiggling in impatience.

“Busy day,” He attempts at dismissing her once again - with kindness.

“Oh my gosh, totally!” Autumn gushes, starting to go off on all of the tasks she has to do. She stands so close to Harry, Y/N genuinely thinks she’s going to sit in his lap. Y/N stares up to the ceiling, begging god or whoever to end her misery right there and then.

Harry sees Y/N’s expression and tries to maintain the neutral expression he’s had for the entirely too long interaction. A smile threatens at his rosey lips that had chapped from the morning air.

“Right, well,” he cuts off Autumn, “Y/N needs to get back to tattoo coverage, I think. So...have a nice day.”

Autumn’s eyes widen like she forgot that there was anyone else in the room and steps back from Harry. Y/N nods, a grimace clear on her face. Autumn gives her the same small she used to get from the popular girls in high school when she happened to be talking to their cool guy friend that they wanted to be more than friends with. Sickeningly sweet and completely fake. She could see the contempt in Autumn’s eyes that swirled just beneath the surface of her perfectly outlined green-ish eyes.

“Okay! You too, Harry!” She begins walking to the door and Y/N takes her seat again, closing her eyes and counting to ten. “And Y/N,” Autumn adds as an afterthought.

“Oh my fucking god,” Y/N sighs, her hands going to rub over her face and through her hair. “That was exhausting. Jesus Christ.”

“What? She’s nice. Maybe a little clueless,” Harry counters. “But she was so nice,” he confirms again, seemingly trying to convince himself of it as well.  

She grabs the slippers and slips them on the ground so Harry can put them on easily. Then one of the blankets that she drapes over Harry’s bottom half. He smiles at the gesture, a ‘thank you’ said in a whisper.

“Please, she knows what she’s doing,” Y/N scoffs, “And she’s obsessed with you!” She grabs the concealer to get back to work, “She was all over you and never took her eyes off of your body. It was like she wanted to touch you or something. It was icky.”

“You touch me,” Harry adds cheekily, adjusting beneath the warm blanket.

She laughs, a smile gracing her lips as she gives Harry a look. He was clever.

“It’s my job to touch you, Harry.”

Harry had really tried to not laugh, but it was just so funny. They both snicker, their eyes meeting for a moment longer than usual.

“Speaking of my job,” she adds after controlling her laughter, “Does she not realize just how long it takes to cover all of your bloody tattoos with this shit to make it look like you’re a pristine skinned 50’s psycho killer?”

She finishes the rose coverup and moves to the ship. Harry nods solemnly.

“It’s true...And it doesn’t help that you’re terrible at it, so it takes a thousand years longer than it should.” He adds, laughter overtaking his serious tone at the end.

“Oh my god!” She shrieks in delight, trying not to mess up her work, “That is so rude! I messed up one time - mostly because of you, by the way. And give me a break, this is so not what I thought I’d be doing as a makeup artist for movies.”

He nods again, muttering “Fair, fair.”

They grow silent, enjoying Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, the album that she had queued after Joni’s.

“The body thing, I just learned to ignore it, I think.” Harry mutters, eventually, but it’s thoughtless, like he’s not revealing anything about himself with the statement. But it kind of shocks her. Her eyes widen and she stops her work to stare at his face.

“Harry,” she waits till his eyes meet hers, “That’s, like, not normal. Are you serious?”

“I mean, I’m very comfortable with my body, like I haven’t minded the last 45 minutes of sitting practically nude in front of you. And I have plenty of revealing photos out in the world. I just don’t notice staring anymore, it’s not, I don’t think it’s what you’re thinking,” he tries to reassure her. His eyes are intent on hers, full of seriousness that hadn’t been there a few moments ago.

“It’s one thing to be comfortable in your skin and another to be desensitized to objectification,” she insists.

He nods. “I know. Thank you. I would let you know if what she had done had bothered me, so don’t worry. I felt completely safe the whole time.”

“Good,” she nods back and concentrates again. “Good,” she repeats once more under her breath. There had been way too many distractions already today and she wasn’t even done with his arm yet.

As she continues to work up his arm, Harry sings along to some of the songs on Elton’s album. He happily taps his feet to the different beats, now safely tucked in soft fluffy slippers. She would never admit just how amazing it is to be in the same room as Harry’s singing. It was truly special to be less than a foot from him and hear him sing just under the unique voice of Elton - who was someone he actually knew, which was equally as cool.

He hit every note and knew every word. She was impressed. How could she not be when a literal rockstar sat before her? This was the first time she was truly starstruck by her charge, Mr. Harry Styles.

By two hours, they had moved onto an album by Dolly Parton and they were both singing. They strangely had no fights today, maybe some snarky comments from both of them, but no outright mean-spirited words were exchanged.

She stood in front of Harry, finishing up the swallows. She had finished both arms and the birds, all she had left was moving down his body. Up next, the butterfly.

“I love this tattoo,” she mumbles, twisting Harry’s standing body to face her and taking her seat again. This left her eye to eye with the butterfly on his stomach.

He makes a surprised face and raises his recently plucked eyebrow at his counterpart. “Oh really?”

“Don’t act so surprised. I told you day one that not all of them are rubbish and honestly they’re all pretty cool. I just was so annoyed that I had gotten tattoo coverage as my job and then I had to go and index them all.” She flicks her eyes up to his sculpted face and sees he’s watching her work. “Plus, I have some butterflies of my own, remember?” She grins.

“Yeah,” he ponders her words, “I don’t think that’d put me in a good mood either.”

He pauses again and she continues to work silently.

“So what’s your excuse for the second day then?”

“You provoked me,” she doesn’t spare him a glance, shrugging like it was the simplest answer in the world.

“Pardon?”

“Let’s not go down this road again, Harry.” She sighs, smoothing over the freshly covered butterfly tattoo. His sternum looked so naked, it was unnerving. Now the ferns.

Harry involuntarily shivered when her fingers traced over the ferns lightly, taking note of the expanse of skin she’d have to cover.

“You’re right,” he agrees, “But agree to disagree on the provocation.”

“Sure,” she says curtly, focusing on his skin and her job.

The expanse of skin that the ferns inhabited was slightly fleshy and especially soft. It bordered where his boxers began and she ignored that part of his body completely. It was of no importance to her and she really had no issue blocking it from her vision, even when it was right in front of her. She finishes one fern with Harry jumping only twice from her cold hands. He couldn’t put his robe on until the makeup had all set for half an hour so he’d have to be cold for possibly another hour still.

She traces the fern that is still visible and Harry shivers. She instinctively shushes him softly and his body quiets. As she works, her hair splays around her shoulders and Harry looks down at her working and doesn’t realize what his hand is doing until it’s too late. His right hand runs over her hair, smoothing it out of her face. It was rarely ever down, so it must have been the novelty of it.

“Sorry, I-” he chokes out when he jerks his hand back.

She sits back, slightly taken aback. Her body flushes just from their positioning and what a hair caress would mean normally in this position, but she’s a professional and she shakes it off.

“It’s fine. We’re even.” She assures him, breaking eye contact with his own wide eyes. “Seems like we’re both hair touchers.”

“It’s just so soothing,” Harry muses. “I think it’s human instinct to touch other people’s hair since it’s so enjoyable for yourself.”

“Possibly,” her voice raises, his thought was definitely plausible. Or maybe they were just two touch starved people who were very much in each other’s personal space 24/7.

At the two and a half hour marker, she gets a walkie message from Olivia’s assistant asking when they’d be done. She had just finished the tiger tattoo, which had been surprisingly easy. It took a while, but Harry didn’t shiver once and neither of them pet each other’s hair.

“Probably 40 minutes, sorry. He has a lot of tattoos and the makeup needs to set.” She says seriously and gets back to work, barely regarding the response of “Yeah it’s fine, just wanted an estimate”.

“Jesus,” Harry moans as she covers up his knee tattoos.

She groans in veiled disgust, “Did I just hit a secret erogenous zone? Is that why you have ‘oui’ there, you creep?” There’s a teasing tone behind the nickname she uses.

Harry laughs and runs his hand over his face, pulling at his jaw and lower lip. His jaw is so sharp, she watches him adjust it. “No, no. I’m just so goddamn tired of this.”

“And it’s not your fault,” he adds, feeling bad immediately after he said it. “It’s actually been nice today, but I’m feeling antsy, like I need to move. I don’t like to sit still.”

“I know,” she says under her breath. She simply nods in agreement.

Finally, the tattoos are all covered up and set. They had talked about George Michael when she got to his ankle tattoos that she hadn’t seen before and they laugh about the tattoos and chat a bit more. She helps him slip on his robe that he keeps in his closet in the trailer and then follows him out of it. They had decided they were hungry and he had been pushed back an hour since he had taken so long, so he had a free half-hour.

As they walked to craft services, they talked about actual things besides work. She was pleasantly surprised by what Harry talked about. It was more than music or the movie. It was the tv show he was currently obsessed with and how he hated LA’s traffic the most out of all of his dislikes for the city. She couldn’t help but grin at his Los Angeles slander. She loved this side of him.

-

Breakfast together after finishing his tattoo coverage became their regular thing. He would come into the trailer, racing from his morning meeting accompanied with tea for two, they’d get his tattoos covered as quickly as possible, and then they’d eat together.

They’d save their “in-depth” chats for breakfast. In early November, he joked about No Nut November and insisted he really wouldn’t have a problem with it - which had made her laugh. They worried together over the U.S. presidential election and meditated together in his trailer to Fleetwood Mac.

Around late November, Harry had requested that Y/N just do his face makeup as well, just to simplify his life a little more and the department had agreed easily. She had to spend extra time on set getting lectured on how to properly do Harry’s makeup, but after two days she stopped getting notes about it. She was so extremely proud and thankful to Harry for doing that.

All he said was: “I mean, you’re extremely talented so I’m not scared of you fucking up my face. Plus, it does make my life easier. Two birds with one stone.”

In late November, he told her about his favorite holiday drinks at Starbucks and what he was getting his mother for Christmas.

When the Vogue cover came out, he laughed over that woman who responded to his cover saying the world needed to bring back manly men. He joked that he was going to really push that from now on, that he was a manly man, and he would sputter with laughter every time he tried to say it with a straight face.

He hand delivered her a special ‘Treat People With Kindness’ sweatshirt that he only had for the cast and crew of the film. Most everyone got them from a PA, but Harry decided since you saw him first in the morning, why not.

He told her about him winning Hitmaker of the Year from Variety when he had left the award sitting in Trailer 6 and about how weird it was to film acceptance speeches in an empty room. His smile had lit up the entire set that day and the day he did his interview on set. He was so smiley she had to bump him with her elbow because he wouldn’t stop smiling at her and it was unnerving.

“Stop that,” She muttered.

“Stop what?” He smiles wider.

“That!” She squeaked, her head shaking as she ducked it to regard his anchor tattoo. “You’re smiling too much.”

“Oh no,” he says sarcastically, “God forbid I be happy.”

“It’s not that,” she bumps his thigh with her elbow, trying to keep her own smile off her face, “Your face is just so intense when you smile. Feels like you’re gonna burn a hole through me.”

He laughs, completely unconvinced, “You just don’t want me to be happy is what I’m hearing.”

She rolls her eyes, “Whatever, dude.”

She saw he was serious about the ‘manly men’ references when the Variety photos came out and everyone and their mom posted the pictures with some variation of that comment as their caption.

She still found that she rolled her eyes at some of the things Harry did, but she genuinely counted him as a friend by the time December had rolled around.

Over three hours, almost always completely alone, doing work for a job you both care deeply about can really make or break a relationship. And that first full-body coverage day had made them stronger together. After that, Harry and her would banter with one another, but there was never anything intentionally cruel. Just friends giving each other shit sometimes. Harry had been right, he had changed her mind about him. And she had realized that that was who Harry was. He was a deliverer. If you didn’t like him at first, he would try and try again until you did, but he did it in a way that wasn’t weasley or anything. It was terribly genuine and she saw it in every relationship he had on set.

On several occasions she had witnessed his friendship with Nick Kroll. A man she had regarded with dislike before the film. She had quickly realized that dislike was misplaced, but she maintained that it was just because she hated adult cartoons - citing that she literally refused to be friends with any person who willingly watched the Simpsons, Family Guy, and/or American Dad and all of those similar shows.

Nick was far nicer and less weird than she had realized. So she quickly shot her friend from high school an apology text for all the Nick Kroll slander she had spouted back in the day. Her friend had rejoiced but also said how jealous she was that Y/N got to see him regularly on set.

Nick and Harry got along great. Harry generally got along better with older people, she noticed when she was introduced to his friends on the somewhat frequent occasion. Trailer 6 was where Y/N saw most of these reactions take place. She would be introduced in the first minute and then she would smile politely and get back to the work of covering up Harry’s numerous tattoos.

Harry would say something simple and Nick, the literal famous comedian, would laugh. In the beginning she’d raise a brow, confused because it truly wasn’t that funny, but as Harry’s friend now, she kept her mouth shut.

Nick would come and sit on the couch while she’d work and eventually all three of them would chat. Sometimes she would get up to go to the bathroom during those morning chats and she would look in the mirror and think to herself “How are you casually talking to these two men right now” and then she’d think “Because you are a boss ass bitch, you got this” and go back out there with a smile on her face.

“Y/N, what are you doing tonight?” Nick asked on the first Friday morning of December.

She looks up from Harry’s cross tattoo that was half covered. Harry was reading, a book casually propped in his right hand and glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. He glanced at the other two in the room. Nick had been getting some work done before he had spoken.

“No plans,” she states simply before getting back to work. It wasn’t full body today, but it was arms and torso, so kind of a lot still.

“You should come over for dinner at my place with Harry,” Nick smiles kindly. His scruff was really coming in today. “To celebrate us almost wrapping the first half of the movie.”

Harry had thankfully freshly shaved before he sat down. It was her least favorite part of her new job. Whenever he came in for touch ups and she had to shave his afternoon shadow. She was terrified she’d cut him and never live it down from her department or Harry. She had no idea which would be worse.

“My wife will be there too, of course,” he adds, hoping to entice her to say yes.

Harry glances between Y/N and Nick again before focusing on his book again.

She purses her lips, finishing Harry’s hand and moving onto the anchor tattoo. “Yeah, I mean, I don’t know why I’d say no. As long as I’m not intruding on the throuple,” she grins up at Harry.

He stares at her with his big green eyes, slightly obscured behind his prescription glasses. He raises his brows and wiggles them a little bit, teasingly.

Nick laughs and slyly winks at Harry through the mirror. Y/N none the wiser as she removes all traces of Harry’s tattoos.

“Great!” He claps his hands and stands up. “We’ll talk or I’ll make sure Harry gets you the info or something. I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out. My wife’s been wanting to meet you,” he smiles again and walks out of the trailer.

She tilts her head at the last part. He talked about her to his wife. Did he really count her as that close of a friend? She was just a makeup artist and he was a producer… She glances at Harry and he gives away nothing. His jaw looks extra prominent and she knows it’s because he’s clenching it. He did that when he was focused or angry, remembering it bulging on the first day they met and how clenched it had been then.

“Unclench your jaw,” she mutters, “It’s not good for you.”

Harry hums and unclenches it.

He stretches his neck by rolling his head around his shoulders and she glances at the movement. His skin is still beautifully sun-kissed and his pores look so soft, only his moles change the texture of his skin. She loves his moles though, they make him especially unique in her eyes. Not that he needed anything else to set him apart from the crowd. Still, she loved them. His collarbone is prominent as he sits there shirtless and she wishes she could reach out and brush at it. But she gets back to work, knowing the only time she’s gonna be brushing near that part of him is when she’s covering dates in those dips behind his collarbones.

“Y’know, I could just drive you to Nick’s tonight,” Harry says, putting his book down and taking off his glasses. He rubs at his eye with his free hand.

“You’re blind and British, how do I know you can even drive yourself?” She asks sillily, pointing to his glasses.

He shakes his head, “I’m serious, Y/N. Aren’t you staying in the same area as me?”

He asks because they had relocated to Palm Springs a little while ago and everyone had gotten rentals and it was hard to remember where everyone was holed up when they weren’t on set.

“Yeah, think so. But you don’t need to pick me up. I have a car.”

“Nonsense. I’ve been to his place before, don’t want you to have to deal with directions, that’s just silly.”

“I guess...” she resigns relatively easily. She had never hung out with Harry off the set or Nick for that matter. It felt surreal, but she knew the right answer was usually just say yes in these situations. So that’s what she says. “Yes, that’d be great, thank you,” she confirms and watches as Harry’s eyes glimmer softly before turning back to his book. A triumphant soft smirk rests on his face.

The words die out between the two of them as she works on. He hums along to the music and continues reading his book. When she’s done with his tattoo coverage and his face makeup, she sends him off to hair and the rest of his day. He gives a flirty wink as he walks out the door and she rolls her eyes in response. She tidies up her kit and then goes to do some other makeup work.

When she wasn’t working with Harry, she was assigned to some of the minor characters and doing their makeup. They were always her second concern, especially now that she did Harry’s makeup as well as his tattoos. As she works on them, she can feel her mind drifting to Harry. Harry and how they were friends now. She was pretty sure, right? They were friends. He had never really said a mean thing to her if she really thought about it. It was her… She had been rude and mean-spirited and he had just taken it. He rarely had even thrown it back at her. He was so good to her and patient and she realized that he had proven to her that he was good. He was better than good, he was kind and loving. Considerate. Wonderful. All of those positive superlatives, Harry filled them. And she had the audacity to be mean to him.

She paused the brush that was adding blush to an actresses cheek.

Lisa, the actress, looks at Y/N confusedly, “What’s wrong?”

Y/N twitches her head, refocusing on her task at hand. The realization of her pausing her work becomes clear as she looks between her hand and the cheek that has not enough blush on it. “Oh,” she breathes. “...I just realized that I was terrible to someone who doesn’t have a mean bone in their body.”

Lisa nods, “Apologize.”

“Yeah, I mean...We’ve kind of moved past the phase where we don’t get along. Like now we’re friends, but the realization just really hit me.” She sighs, picking up where she left off on Lisa’s makeup. “I’ll make sure to apologize next time I see them.”

Lisa smiles.

-

At the end of the day, Y/N realizes she left her tattoo coverage kit in Harry’s room after their touch-up session halfway through the day. She had run off to help with a makeup emergency for a tiny cut on a minor character’s face and forgotten to go back and grab her things. Another roll of her eyes and a huff of breath and then she’s walking back to Trailer 6, a place that seemed like a home away from home now. She knocks, patiently waiting at the bottom of the steps.

Harry swings open the door and props it with his hip. He’s got a toothbrush held in his mouth, slowly scrubbing back and forth with his left hand. His costume is somewhat taken off, he’s still got the pants on with suspenders hanging down, his chest was completely bare and he looked funny with some of his tattoos only being half covered based on what parts of his skin had been showing today. Her work. His skin looked half silky smooth and half tattooed like usual.

His naked skin seemingly left her breathless because as her eyes returned to Harry’s face, she breathed a soft, “Hi.”

“Hey,” a smirk twists onto his face. “Forget something?”

“Yes,” she nods, coming back to her senses and entering the trailer at Harry’s gesture.

She begins to pack up the kit that had been left haphazardly strewn around on his counter. “I’m sorry I left a mess like this, I got called over to something else and forgot.”

“Don’t worry darling,” Harry grins at his joke.

She looks up from her work and sees Harry in the reflection of the mirror. He’s wiping off the makeup from his chest and his beautiful tattoos reemerge as entire images.

She laughs humorlessly, “It gets less funny each time you use that.”

“That’s not true,” he looks at her through the mirror now, his green eyes trained on her face, “Everyone else still thinks it’s hilarious.”

“They’re humoring you and your fragile ego,” she winks and watches as Harry’s smirk twitches from his perfect face.

“You’ve got a very mean disposition, you know that?” He asks.

He finishes his chest and moves to remove the makeup from his left arm, glancing at the mirror every so often to check himself and to flicker his eyes over Y/N’s face.

She genuinely laughs at that, but scolds herself internally for being mean when she had planned to apologize the next time she saw Harry. This was the next time so why was she doing this instead?

“Rewrite sweet disposition for me?” Her voice honeyed. Clearly stubborn and terrible at saying sorry...maybe her and Harry were a better match than she realized.

Harry twists his lips as he slips on his t-shirt he was wearing today.

“Pick you up at 6:30?” He says as his head pops out from beneath the rainbow striped sweatshirt he slipped on top of the shirt. His chestnut hair had been toweled out and was flopping over his forehead slightly.

She sighs and zips close the kit, standing from the seat she had taken at his counter and turning to face him now.

“6:30 is perfect. Thanks again for doing this. I just can’t believe Nick Kroll is inviting me over for dinner!” She smiles, shifting to lean against the counter as she waits for Harry to finish up. She didn’t have to but for some reason she felt like she was in no rush.

“Are you serious?” He’s moved on to changing his pants now and he’s slipping on black sweatpants.

“Yeah…” She blinks and her eyes widen as Harry appraises her expression.

He straightens up after fixing a cuff on the pants and he can’t tell if she’s being genuine or sarcastic. It was always so hard to tell with her.

“I mean, Nick Kroll is like a huge celebrity and I know in the entertainment business you’re not supposed to get starstruck but when I was in college my sister thought he was weirdly hot and my friends and I would shit talk him. I don’t know, it’s just kind of surreal to be having dinner at his place. Like I’ve watched him on tv and now I’ll be eating with him...so weird.”

He shakes his head, beginning on his dirty vans now. A small laugh escapes his mouth and he glances between her and his shoe, scratching his head quickly. “I still can’t tell… It feels like you’re fucking with me right now.”

“I’m not!” She insists, her hands coming out in front of her in a confused fashion. “I used to watch that guy’s tv show then he’s my boss now he’s inviting me over for food? It’s a lot to process.”

“How come it’s not surreal to be having dinner with me then?” He asks semi-joking, a hint of offense tinged within it. It’s visible only in his knitted brow and twisted lip.

“Careful there, sailor. Venturing into some dangerously self-absorbed waters.” Her eyes light up, a quick raise of her brows accompany the shine, and she decides now is her time to head out. Especially as she thinks about getting ready for this soiree tonight. She needed to shower and pick out an outfit with less than two hours to prepare.

Harry sputters at her response and fumbles with his pink shoelace. “That’s not...that is - You’re being unfair. My question is valid.”

She shrugs her shoulders and skirts Harry’s attempt at grabbing at her arm to stop her from leaving. “Okay, Mr. Big Man On Campus. I promise you you’re the most popular boy in school.”

She blows him a kiss and walks out the door as he attempts to get her to come back by calling her name a few times and slightly shouting “C’mon! I wasn’t being insecure. That was a reasonable ask…”

He sighs and shakes his head again. Every interaction would end with one of them either rolling their eyes or shaking their head and usually a sigh on both of their lips. It was exhausting, but exhilarating too.

20 minutes later, Harry receives a text from Y/N: “You’re still picking me up right :))) ?”

He’s in his car, getting ready to finally leave after getting held up with last minute schedule changes that he had to be informed about by some PA that he had forgotten the name of. His lip quirks to the right and he closes his eyes for a second enjoying seeing her name on his phone screen for a moment.

He types back: “Of courseeee”.

“Fab.” She sends back, immediately followed by: “Fanks BMOC ;)”

A full smile rolls onto Harry’s face after he swipes his tongue over his lower lip. “Yeah, yeah, save it for the next guy” he types out quickly before throwing his phone gently beside him and driving back to his apartment. She made him feel young, not that he wasn’t young, but generally his friends didn’t text like she did.

-

At 6:28, she receives a text from Harry Styles - his name in her phone. A name she had never expected to see in her phone unless her Spotify was on shuffle. Yet, instead, his name popped up under messages and it read “Here!” followed by a quick “I think” and then a phone call coming through from the apparently anxious man himself.

“Hello Harry.” Her tone even. She throws little items into her purse, making sure everything she needs is there.

“Could you peek out your window? I’m not quite sure I’m at the right place and people are staring…” nerves laced in his rushed tone.

She ambles to the window and opens up the shade she had closed to change. Below her, she sees a sleek black Range Rover with a slightly disarrayed hairdo and big dark glasses peeking below the windshield. She ignored the instinct to retch at the sight of the Range Rover and peered at the lamp lit sight below her. It was definitely Harry, but she searched for the prying eyes he was worried about and saw none. Well, maybe a few, but it wasn’t a lot.

“I see you, I’ll be right out, dude. Just deep breaths, it’s mostly crew staying here right now so they’re just seeing that it’s you, another guy they work with. They won’t come up for pictures...I would hope.”

She hangs up with no farewell, snatches her purse from its place on the bed and races out the door. Harry smiles anxiously at her when she stands next to the passenger’s door and he unlocks it. She bites her lip and raises her brows, waiting to hear if anything terrible happened in the minute and a half it took her to come downstairs and out to the car.

“Hi,” he exhales.

A smirk crawls onto her features and her eyes sparkle with a bit of a childish glee that normally she didn’t exhibit as she glances at him. “Hi.” She says quietly. “Alright big boy?”

“‘M fine.” He huffs but balks at her smile that she maintains while she stares at him. “What?”

“Just happy to see you, I guess,” her smile returns after speaking and Harry glances between her face and the windshield in front of him.

He can’t tell if she’s being serious or not once again. But he fears that conversation of her either ridiculing him for thinking she is serious or being offended that he still can’t tell. Instead, he will keep his mouth shut. For the most part.

“Happy to see you, too,” his lips create a closed mouth smile quickly before turning out of the parking lot.

She watches him. Their first time together outside of work. And they were friends. She needed to get used to simply thinking that. He picked her up to take her to dinner with her other friend and his wife. This was normal life, just with big names behind those terms of relation. Jesus, she always said it didn’t bother her to be around celebrities so why did she think about it so damn much?

She twitches her head and refocuses on Harry and his driving. His jaw is clenched again and she wants to reach out and sooth it herself. Instead she starts to open her mouth to correct him, but stops herself from that as well. They weren’t at work and it didn’t feel like something just a friend would say right now. She refocuses on the view of his eyes that are barely visible while he regards the road. His large eyes that she had grown acquainted to are surveying what he’s doing, every so often drifting to the right side of the road to check out the lane beside him. But then, always back to right in front of him, leaving a crescent of green visible to her.

“Can feel you staring at me…” His voice sounds like it’s rolled around in gravel after the long work day. It makes her wonder if he’s supposed to have a vocal rest when he’s not at work, but then again it’s the weekend now so maybe it was fine. Maybe she should ask him. Or maybe she should stop worrying so much about him.

“Have I got something on my face?” His low register bumps her from her racing thoughts. He doesn’t take his eyes off the road, but she can see he’s widened his eyes in wonder.

“No! Of course not, I just was...making sure you weren’t going to crash us or something.” She grasps at straws, desperate to not be caught by Harry.

A low chuckle bubbles from his chest and he spares a small glance over at her bundled up in his passenger seat. She matches his gaze with something of distrust hidden behind her eyes. She hopes to convey that she’s being silly and when Harry turns back to look at the road unassumingly, she feels like she has won. The harmonies of the beginning of a Queen song take over the silence, Harry’s spindly fingers thrumming against the wheel.

They arrive at the Kroll’s Palm Springs residence at 6:50. 10 minutes early and the two twiddle their thumbs for a few minutes, trying to pass the time and not intrude earlier than they were supposed to. She appreciated that Harry liked to be timely but not early, similar to how she was.

“So what is the fascination with Range Rovers?” She queries, leaning against the door’s armrest. The back of her head touches against the semi-tinted window.

Harry shifts in his seat, seat belt no longer constricting him and no road requiring his attention as they sit in the driveway. He rushes a hand through his hair and lets a single strand of hair fall over his prominent forehead.

“Dunno,” he shrugs his shoulders and allows a hand to fall onto the steering wheel absentmindedly. “I don’t really prefer them anymore, but when I’m in LA and doing work, it makes things easier. My other cars are a little flashier...have more privacy in this.”

“Yet the effect is similar,” she muses.

Her head tilts to take in Harry’s appearance, sharp black silky button-up and dark green plaid slacks, and she rubs a hand over her jaw. His eyes flicker to the movement and attempt to really take it in, even in the dim glow of the lamp light outside barely peeking into the dark interior of the car.

“Effect?”

“Y’know…” She arches her brow at him. He feigns innocence or possibly the expression is genuine. She’s begun to realize Harry was as genuine as they came, but she just didn’t think he was that unaware. An assumption that was likely correct, but even Harry liked to pretend he was a completely unassuming individual.

“Forget it,” she finishes when he gives no indication that he knows what she is hinting at. She doesn’t want to get into it with him again. Especially when he plays at this game where he has no idea what she’s talking about. It made her feel like she was crazy for thinking he made these calculated decisions to get his desired outcomes.

They move on, neither of them quite sure what the other was getting at in that conversation. The two of them walk into the house a minute before their expected arrival time side by side and are greeted happily with Nick and his wife. They’re ushered in and Y/N is happily received by the happy couple.  

“So, Y/N, how’s it been for you working with these two? I know they can be more than a handful - especially together,” Nick’s wife, Lily, asks after a sip of wine.

The group of four had been eating for a while with Nick and Harry bantering for quite a bit at the beginning about whether or not Harry would be willing to hand feed Nick. The answer was settled at “another time”.  

Harry seems to have a very specific habit of watching whoever is speaking - no matter what. So after Lily has finished speaking, his gaze flickers to Y/N, the person his brain expects to speak next. He watches her attentively as she wipes her mouth on her napkin before speaking.

Her hair was styled differently tonight than it usually was on set, she had it down rather than up in a ponytail or braids. He hadn’t had time to really look at her when they had been in the car, his mind occupied with stress and exhaustion that he refocused into driving and deep breathing. Now, in the comfort of a trusted friend’s home, he was far more relaxed and able to truly take in her appearance, which he couldn’t help but think was beautiful. He’d have to tell her that at some point. That he thought she was beautiful. Not that he didn’t see her on set and think she was beautiful...he just hadn’t really thought about it before. She was his wily makeup artist who was critical of him most times, but occasionally sweet, who had an amazing taste in music and good aesthetic style. The beauty part of it all, he guessed wasn’t something integral to their relationship before.

But now he was sitting beside her at the Kroll’s nice dining table and she had her hair splayed in front and behind her shoulders with one side tucked behind her ear and her outfit fit her impeccably. The top she had on had capped sleeves that cinched with buttons at her delicate wrists and a severe drop to create a small sweetheart neckline just above the curve of her breasts. It was silky and shiny, a blush pink that complemented the high waisted dark grey slacks that flared over shiny black boots that he wasn’t sure where they ended beneath the pants.

“Well,” she starts, chuckling under her breath when she meets Harry’s stare, “Harry and I spend a lot of time together, covering up all his tattoos, and he yaps a lot. So, it’s actually pretty refreshing when Nick comes in, because Harry’s then talking half the normal amount.”

He huffs a scoff, while Lily and Nick laugh happily. Nick interjects an “ouch” for the bite she just took out of Harry, but she thought it was fine, he can take it.

Harry thought to himself that if she can serve it, then she can definitely take it. His eyes remain on her as he opens his mouth to speak, but then look at Lily when words actually come out. “Well, Y/N, she thinks she can read people really well, but it’s actually quite the opposite. She had me completely wrong when we first met, so I talk now in hopes that she’ll really understand me.”

His head tilts to her when he mentions her name, but otherwise doesn’t glance her way away again. He scrunches his nose at the end of his comment, implying he converses with her out of pity.

It’s her turn to scoff and stare at him unamused. Nick and Lily share a look, unsure of what was going on, they had concocted this dinner date idea in hopes to set the two up but the way this conversation was going, they seemed to be pushing each other further and further away from one another.

“That’s simply not true,” she says curtly and takes a sip of her quickly emptying wine glass.

“Which part?”

“Almost all of it, I’d say,” her eyes glaring back at him, fiery with a disdain he hadn’t seen in awhile. “You’re proving my original perception of you with every passing second,” she adds.

“Care to elaborate exactly what the original perception of me was for the class,” his eyes are wide and wild, any extra adoration he had started to feel towards her slipping away just as quickly as it had come, like a wave along the beach.

“You know, so why don’t you?”

“I want to hear you say it,” he grits out the command.

She shifts in her seat, glancing at Nick and Lily who are watching on and she has a feeling she won’t be getting an invitation again anytime soon. Lily gives her a semi-reassuring smile like she was sorry to have asked the question at all, but Y/N knows this is kind of her fault, not that she would ever admit that. Her comment could have been taken innocuously, but Harry’s pride wouldn’t let it slide. Like she said, she should have known better, the weeks of friendship were flying out the window and she was helping them along.

“And what if I don’t?”

“Have fun calling an uber at this time of night,” he shrugs, malice dripping in his tone.

She truly was taken aback at this. A slight sound of shock leaving her mouth. Harry was many things, impatient and anxious usually, but downright cruel with her, she had yet to see it. Arrogant and pompous, definitely, but this wickedness that was starting to creep from the shadows worried her. But the little fiery demon within her wasn’t going anywhere either - yet she might back down to save herself some money and hassle.

“Fine,” she raises her brows in a challenge to him and restates her original take on him - possibly adding a bit extra malice in her phrasing, “You are a shell of a man, held up by the people around you, creating the illusion of a completely genuine and down to earth rocker who dabbles in acting, philanthropy and all around goodness. No one’s ever had a bad experience because no one’s ever truly met you. Not the real you.” She takes a deep breath as she shakes her head in disbelief now, a sarcastic laugh leaving her mouth, “And I thought, I really thought, that I had been wrong. Because these past months you really fooled me with your sweet smile and deep eyes. But when it comes down to it, you tricked me just like everyone else.”

Harry stares at her blankly and she shakes her head once more, feeling foolish. For thinking Harry was someone he wasn’t. For thinking the past few months had been real. For thinking that tonight would go off without a hitch. And the shit part of it was that she had really hoped that all of it was true. She wanted this to be her life, but her instincts had been right. Beware of the picture perfect because it always is just a mirage of deceit and lies.

“All I’ve got to say is you’re a damn good actor Harry, so at least you’ve got that going for you.” Then she pushes back from the table and stands, turning to Nick and Lily. “I really am so sorry, I understand that you probably want me to leave, so I’ll just be going,” her voice faltering at the end, she wasn’t as strong as she liked to pretend and she was pretty sure she just ruined her chances of working again in Hollywood. You’d have to be an idiot to be an enemy of Harry Styles and she feels like she just became his first.

“No!” Nick says quickly, standing too, “I think things just escalated really quickly and some things were said that both of you didn’t mean. Um...just, let’s take a few minutes to cool off. Harry could you and Lily deal with the dishes and I’m going to talk with Y/N alone.”

Everyone nods and Y/N follows Nick down a hallway, a little confused but following after he beckons her with his hand. They go out a side door and end up on a porch in the backyard. He stoops down and opens a little sitting mailbox she didn’t see and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He places one between his teeth and then offers one to her. She accepts, not usually a regular smoker, but right now seemed like a fair time to indulge in the bad habit. She needed to calm her rapidly beating heart.

He lights the cigarette for her when he sees her shaking hands and then in turn lights his own. They stand on the porch beside each other and stare out into the dark night sky.

“Well, this wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go,” Nick starts, after a few exhales of smoke.

“No,” she laughs nervously, her foot toeing at the wooden slate on the porch. “I shouldn’t have tried to make a joke.”

“No one’s to blame,” Nick says quickly, glancing at her, “You and Harry...you both have really strong personalities and I don’t think either of you are used to being challenged.”

She nods along, she definitely had to agree after the argument they had both willingly gotten into in front of other people.

“I think that can be a really good thing, challenging each other, because then you two can both grow. But what happened in there was more of a battle to the death rather than a friendly spar.”

“Yeah,” she exhales, flicking at the burning cigarette between her fingers, “I don’t know why he gets under my skin sometimes in a way I’ve never dealt with and it’s kind of uncomfortable so I lash out, I guess.”

Nick stays quiet, taking a drag of his cigarette.

“Ugh,” she groans, “I wish I hadn’t done that. We were doing so well, it’s like I don’t even really know what I’m saying, it’s like I can’t handle a friendly spar, I always end up going in for the kill - as you put it.”

She rubs at her face with her free hand and then takes a drag herself. Nick bites at his lower lip, trying to think of a solution.

“Y’know? Lily and I had concocted this plan to try and set you and Harry up tonight,” he says slowly, revealing the plan that had clearly been taken off the table as they just needed to attempt to salvage cordiality.

“Really?!” She’s in complete disbelief and slight dismay that the plan was seemingly ruined.

“Well,” he sputters, “When the two of you aren’t throwing verbal fireballs at each other, you’re actually quite sweet to one another. Those fond little glances you hope no one sees, well he does that too, and you both fail miserably because I see it all the time. I’m sure plenty of people do too.”

“Oh,” she states, visibly deflating. She looks to the ashtray conveniently on a table behind her and presses out the rest of the cigarette. “Should probably talk to him, huh?”

Nick nods, stamping out his nub of a cigarette as well. They go back inside and into the kitchen where Lily and Harry have plated dessert. Harry looks a little sheepish, likely having a similar conversation with Lily and she wouldn’t be surprised if her expression looks similar, if not a bit more flushed from the outdoor chill.

Lily murmurs that she and Nick are going to eat their dessert in the living room, a fair bit away from the kitchen and the two now deflated counterparts nod and then stare at each other, knowing what they need to do.

“Can we talk?” Harry rasps out, his voice even lower as he speaks softly, a mere foot away from her in the kitchen.

She nods, but moves further from him to lean against the counter and tuck her hands behind her. She’s lost her appetite and doesn’t want Harry to see her shaking digits.

He’s ducked his head and a stray curl falls over his forehead, laying there softly. He doesn’t move to fix it, just stares at his feet until she begins to talk. He can’t not look at her face when she speaks.

“So…” She slowly starts, not enjoying the tension in the room. Her eyes can’t meet his though, his stare dark and unnerving like usual, but almost painfully so now. “I can start.” She kicks at the tiling on the floor like she had done outside as well, trying to not think about the eyes trained on her right now. “I’m sorry I lashed out on you, Harry. I didn’t mean what I said, it was just a heat of the moment response.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Harry says immediately once she finishes speaking, “I shouldn’t have gotten upset over a silly joke and brought up a sensitive subject. Then it escalated…”

“Yeah, I really liked the friendship we’ve garnered these past few months and I just can’t believe I almost ruined everything - including my career…” she squeaks at the end and tears start to roll from her eyes. “Oh god,” she is hit with the gravity of all that she almost ruined as Harry stares at her again. “I’m so sorry, Harry, I really am. Do you forgive me? I don’t think I could stand it if you didn’t.”

She stands there and feels sobs wrack through her and her hands go to cover her face out of embarrassment. She had caused a scene and now she was making another one. In front of Harry.

In an instant his arms are wrapped around her frame and he’s hushing her cries. They had never hugged before, but now seemed like as good a time as ever. His arms were strong around her and she pressed her face into his chest, not caring at all about how she looked or whether this was worse than getting in a fight and running off.

“Of course I forgive you,” he says and then begins repeating her name over and over, trying to soothe her. He definitely had been hurt by her words, but it seemed like she was more upset about the whole situation than he was and he didn’t think bringing up what specifically had hurt him would help her frame of mind.

She settles after some time, her whimpers and tears subsiding after being rocked into a more peaceful mindset with the help of Harry’s calming voice and reassuring embrace.

“I really am sorry,” she whispers again.

Harry pulls his neck back and his head off the top of her head to look at her face. It was tear stained and her eyes were glassy, lips slightly puffy. He gave her a soft tight-lipped smile. “No more apologies,” he states sternly and then softens again at the slight quiver in her lip. He pulls from her a little more, leaving her at arm's length, with his hands still attached to her hips, fingers slipping over the plaid fabric. “I meant to tell you this earlier, before things…” he stares at her face again and she holds it this time, “You look beautiful tonight.”

She scoffs and her eyes immediately drop to her feet, “Definitely not anymore.” She doesn’t believe Harry.

“‘M serious,” he insists. His right index finger goes to rest beneath her chin and brings her face up to look back at him.

“Sure,” she says, still not convinced but not sure how else to respond. She feels herself warming at all the positive attention he’s pouring into her.

His gaze won’t falter from her face, he’s intent upon making her understand him. He whispers her name, “Accept the compliment.”

“You’re stubborn,” she notes.

“So are you,” he counters quickly.  

“Fine, thank you,” she sighs when he won’t stop giving her that look of his. That look that makes her want to melt into the ground because it feels like she’s the only person in the world. “Though you looked especially good tonight, too,” she adds, her hands rubbing over his shoulders softly.

“Thank you,” Harry states lowly, the words only traveling to her ears. His hands fiddle with the sides of her top, thinking about the night and where they were now. Her eyes were red from crying and overall she looked tired beyond her years. “Do you want me to take you home?”

“That’d be nice.”

They make a quiet farewell to Nick and Lily, as well as apologies from both her and Harry. They don’t speak in the car and the music plays loud enough for it to not seem unreasonable for them to be silent. Harry’s hands don’t tap against the steering wheel, they sit in their spots stoically doing their job and nothing more. She watches the window, legs crossed and hands clasped in her lap. She’s thankful for the music because she knows that even though they had talked, it wasn’t enough. What she had said was hurtful and one apology wasn’t enough for how she had behaved. She didn’t think her and Harry would be the same after tonight, but the silence made it possible for her to pretend none of it had happened.

Just as Harry’s car is pulling up the apartment complex that is far darker now, the harsh splatter of rain begins to fall on the pavement and the sleek black car the two are still sat in.

“Oh,” she comments offhandedly, just responding to what she had noticed.

The rain grows louder when Harry parks and then turns off the car. He glances at her for the first time since they got into the car. She registers the look out of the corner of her eye, her face still looking out at the rain. She loved the rain, but there wasn’t always a lot in Southern California, especially not in Palm Springs. It seemed that tonight was different.

“Well,” Harry breaks his silence, she thinks that’s her cue to leave and unbuckles her seatbelt, but he continues. “This certainly wasn’t how I expected this night to go.”

She stops moving, her hand hovering over the handle of the door. She sits back and settles into the seat, feeling her teeth bite into the plush of her bottom lip.

“That’s what people keep saying,” her eyes remain on the rain hitting the front of the car, the splatters of seemingly black liquid that form when the clear rain touches the onyx hood of the car.

“Huh?” Harry grows perplexed at the rather wistful tone of her and how she won’t look at him again. He was still hurt, but he had hoped them talking in the kitchen had straightened some things out. During the car ride he hadn’t wanted to talk, but it didn’t mean he was still angry with her. Just confused, and growing further confused by the second.

“Oh,” she repeats, “Didn’t Lily say? Her and Nick concocted that dinner in hopes to set us up.”

Harry hums, knowing that because Nick had left out a little part of that plan. That he had been a part of it. He had been talking with Nick about getting to know her better outside of work and how Nick had thought it’d be a good idea to have dinner so he had told Lily and they set it up like a casual dinner party. Harry didn’t know how to respond because her knowing that he was in on the plan might just make matters worse. He really didn’t think things could get much worse, but it seemed that they always managed to make it happen so in the end he decided to keep his mouth shut.

“I don’t know if we’d ever be able to work out differences out for that,” she decides to continue, when Harry stays quiet. She scans the interior of the car and watches Harry for the briefest moment before going back to looking out the window. “Nick said that we challenge each other to grow, but all I see us do is hurt each other.”

Her voice is just above the rain pattering outside the car and Harry thinks it sounds almost melodic if it weren’t for the sadness laced in every word.

“I disagree,” he states before wetting his lips.

“Of course you do,” she laughs in spite of herself.

“Even after all these months together and you still don’t get it. I like you.”

“You don’t like me, I don’t know how you could ever like me,” she shakes her head. “We just...we get under each other’s skin. You can make me so angry sometimes and I know I make you angry too. And when we’re not angry, we’re focussed on something that doesn’t have to do with ourselves.”

“I don’t think what you feel for me is anger,” Harry insists, “Just because something feels burning and fiery, frustrating even, doesn’t mean it’s anger.”

His body shifts closer to the center divide and she turns to face him finally. His eyes are extra dark in this lighting, which is barely there from a streetlamp a ways off. She longs for the comfort of his light green eyes, the soft pale glow of the moss that seems to have been trapped within his iris. Maybe for that reason she unknowingly leans closer to him.

“Then what is it?” She whispers, eyes blinking slowly as her breathing grows strained.

“Passion.”

Immediately, her head is tilting to meet his lips. Her mind knows one thing, she needs to be kissing Harry right now. And then she is. His left hand goes to cup her cheek as his lips attach themselves to hers. His soft lips press to hers in a long searing kiss. They stay there for a moment, pressing all of that passion and frustration into the kiss.

She presses impatiently forward, her lips starting to move more, wanting to kiss him deeper. Harry obliges, parting his lips and kissing her more vigorously. He licks into her open mouth and smiles at the sound she makes in appreciation for his actions.

She’s shifted to have herself kneeling on the leather seat and she’s leaning over the console. One of her hands finds purchase on Harry’s thigh and grasps tightly, her other at the back of his neck, pressing him closer if it were possible.

His chest is pressing against hers as he pulls her closer. He kisses her and his fingertips rub softly at the apple of her cheek. Eventually they run behind the shell of her ear and trail down her neck.

Eventually, she pulls away and stares at Harry. She watches as his eyes flutter open gently. His soft eyelashes dust his cheeks before moving away, allowing his eyes to peer at her in the dark.

Her breathing feels a little irregular after the kissing and she’s sure she is heaving her chest slightly, likely mirroring Harry’s chest as well.

“So, where to now?” She inquires, lips quirked up at her suggestion.

Harry giggles and scratches his nose against his index finger.

-

Harry doesn’t stay the night, he walks her up to her apartment door though. He kisses her chastley in front of her door and wraps an arm around her waist as he does so. He bids her a goodnight and a promise of seeing her soon.

They don’t see each other for a month. Both of them had been so blissful after the endorphins of kissing their person that they had forgotten that filming had wrapped. They weren’t set to work for a month. Harry texted her the next morning informing her that he’d be in England until filming resumed. She was still going to be in California, filming was moving back to Los Angeles, so she’d be back in her place there. Her family knew she was working, so they had sent her presents ahead to her place instead. Angie, her only true friend in the area, was spending her time with her actual family and Y/N didn’t want to intrude.

So the holidays were going to be spent alone. Those four weeks alone passed surprisingly quickly. She practiced techniques on herself, bought a tiny Christmas tree like the one in A Charlie Brown Christmas, watched A Charlie Brown Christmas and just about every other holiday movie possible. She fell in love with young Hugh Grant and Colin Firth for the thousandth time. She sang carols to herself and decorated her place with decorations from Target. She jammed out to the new Miley Cyrus album and held dance parties for herself in the house. She baked cookies and even attempted a trifle after watching a Great British Bake Off episode. She did and she did all in hopes that her mind wouldn’t wander to the guy who hadn’t called.

Harry texted occasionally, but it was infrequent at best. He was a busy person, she knew that. She knew who he was. And she didn’t want her mind to have enough time to feel sorry for herself. For her to think that she was just somebody to pass the time with while at work, because if she stopped doing things that’s where her mind would wander. Why did her mind spiral like it did? She had no idea, she’d always been like that.

His absence, their separation, made her question if her own feelings were even true. She wondered if when she saw him he would act as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t said their relationship was passionate and she had kissed him until she couldn’t breath.

Too much time alone, she needed some fresh air. On January 2nd, after an uneventful night at home and a lackluster countdown washed down with cheap champagne, she decided to go and walk around near her place. There was a coffee shop that wasn’t extremely expensive that she also liked that she figured she would get coffee from. After a brisk walk, she walked through the store's doors and ordered an iced green tea. As she waited, she watched the other customers around her, wishing to see a friendly face, someone she knew. And seconds later, she was met with half of that wish. Someone she knew, not necessarily a friendly face.

“Autumn.” She states with a grimace when someone taps her on the shoulder and she spins around.

“Y/N? It is you!” Autumn, one of the PA’s from Don’t Worry Darling who was especially in Harry’s business, exclaims overly happy as per usual.

Y/N bites the inside of her cheek and gives a tight lipped smile, trying her best to be cordial.

“How’s your holiday been!” Autumn asks.

“Great. You?”

“So great!” She’s quick to lean closer and say in a hushed tone, “But I miss working on set, especially getting to see that Harry everyday. He’s just so gorgeous.”

A breath gets stuck in Y/N’s chest at the mention of Harry’s name. Her brows can’t help but raise a bit at Autumn’s comment. Even lowering her voice didn’t make it feel alright to talk about Harry like this. He was her friend after all.

“Sure.” Y/N nods abruptly, realizing Autumn wants some recognition of what she’s just said. Y/N’s eyes glance around the room, hoping for an out like her drink is ready or something - no such luck.

“I mean,” Autumn keeps talking, of course, “You’re so lucky. You get to see him shirtless, like what? Everyday practically? Don’t tell me you don’t miss that just a little bit!”

“I miss working,” Y/N says, avoiding what Autumn is trying to get her to say. “And Harry’s my friend, could you maybe not talk about him like that with me?”

Autumn’s eyes widened in shock, her lips parted dumbfounded by her co-worker's response. Y/N’s name is called for her drink and she’s thankful for the serendipitous nature of that sound getting her out of the awkward situation she had just been in.

When she gets back to her apartment, she surprisingly has a text from Harry himself. She’s always telling everyone; speak of the devil and he will appear, in one way or another. It’s a Happy New Year well wish followed by a separate text asking how she was.

It was sent a minute ago so she decides to try and give him a call. She preferred talking on the phone over texting.

It rings a few times and then, again surprisingly, he picks up.  

“‘Lo?” His voice is nice and deep and sounding extra British after his weeks surrounded by family and such.

“Harry,” she sighs contentedly.

“Happy to hear your voice,” he says her name and she can tell he’s smiling just like she is, from ear to ear.

She bites at her lip, hearing him say her name.

“I’m well, thanks,” she says after a moment of happy silence.

“What?” Harry laughs, confused.

“You texted asking me how I was and I called to respond.”

“Got it,” Harry chuckles, and she hears him shuffling around, likely sitting down on something.

“How are you?” She continues.

“Good, starting to wind down for the day,” he lists off the things he’s been doing over the past few days. Some of it work related, some of it family activities. All of it fun, he insists. “What did you do today?” He finishes, knowing she was an avid activity doer based off of the snaps she had sent him over the past few weeks.

“Tidied my place, went to the coffee shop and got iced tea…” she tries to think and then she gasps, “Oh! And I saw Autumn, one of the Don’t Worry Darling PA’s -”

“The one who’s obsessed with me?”

“Exactly!” She laughs, “And I may have kind of told her off… accidentally.”

“Accidentally told her off?” Harry repeats, incredulous. “How’d you do that?”

“Well,” she doesn’t want to tell him the rest, but there’s also a tiny part of her that really does, “She was gushing about you, which, ew. And then she asked if I missed seeing you shirtless everyday.”

“Well do you miss seeing me shirtless?” Harry smirks.

“Oh shut up!” She’s quick to reply.

“So you do?”

“If I really wanted to see you shirtless, all I’d have to do is type in “Harry Styles sh” and it would come up,” she rolls her eyes even though she knows he can’t see them. “Wouldn’t even need the whole word. Guaranteed.”

“Uh-huh?” Harry questions still, “If you want me to send you shirtless pictures that the rest of the world hasn’t seen, Y/N, all you have to do is ask.”

“I do not want you to send me shirtless pictures of yourself!” She exclaims. She feels like jumping out of a window right now. This conversation had escalated so quickly and she felt herself flushing, maybe even perspiring a little bit. And she also knew that she also would probably like it if he sent her shirtless pictures, which made this whole thing worse.

“Offer stands,” he says, smug as he normally was, happy he got to banter with her again. It had been dull without her, if he was honest with himself. “If you ever find yourself in need, just send a cheeky text and I’ll whip one out for you, no matter where I am or what I’m doing.”

“See this sounds like you’re saying something sincere, but really you’re just telling me you’ll send me nudes at any time.”

“No one said anything about nudes!”

“Shirtless, nude, sounds like you’re getting too caught up in the details, hon.”

“No!” He protests, “You’re the one who’s supposed to be flustered right now, not me!”

“Aww, you’re flustered,” She coos.

Harry groans. “Whatever. I’ll be back on the 8th, be ready to go out on the 9th. I’m taking you on a proper date.”

“How do you know I’m going to say yes?” She bite her lip again, she’s really sweating now. She couldn’t believe he had just asked her out on a date out of nowhere. Out of them just joking about nudes. Maybe she didn’t know Harry as well as she thought.

“Because you called me,” he says confidently.

“I call everyone.”

“But I don’t offer shirtless pictures to everyone.”

“That has nothing to do with me saying yes to this date.”

“Or does it?”

She laughs at his words, at how his voice still manages to convey every facial expression and quirk of his lips. She knows there’s a smile on his lips as he stares in the distance, imagining her face just as she is his.

“Yes.” She smiles.

“Yes!” He repeats happily.

She hears him stand up and spin around possibly and she chuckles slightly, amused at the silly man across the world who had seemed to have stolen her heart.

“See you soon, Harry.”

“Not soon enough.”

-

On the Saturday of their date, Harry insists on picking her up. He meets her at her door and winks at her after pulling away from their short hug. He laces his hand in hers and she follows behind him as he all but drags her to his car that is downstairs. He seems giddy. His hair has grown out in the month he’s been gone and she knows they’ll cut it when filming resumes. He’s wearing Gucci flared blue jeans - she knows from the big logo on the bottom left pant leg - a ‘Waiting for Sunset’ graphic tee beneath a black cardigan with little animals and items knitted in it. And of course, his dirty ass vans. She had hoped that maybe Christmas would bring him a fresh pair from someone, but it seemed there was no such luck.

Either way, he looked good and upon scanning his outfit, she was pleased that she had dressed correctly for the occasion, knowing one of the sins of Los Angeles was being improperly dressed wherever you might go. Harry had said casual, but casual can always mean so many different things. She got it right with light wash high-waisted levi’s, a brown cream rib-knit long sleeve that buttoned like it could be a cardigan, and some fun chunky boots that added some height to her normal stature. She had contemplated between this and possibly twenty other tops and a few other bottoms. Landing on this felt right, plus it didn’t clash with Harry, the color of her shoes actually matched the color of the snake on the cardigan.

They both compliment each other on the way out to his car and she giggles when he stops and twirls her around. He says he didn’t get a “proper look” before for him to compliment her adequately. After the twirl, he nods and starts them off again, complimenting the specific pieces of her clothes and says she looks beautiful again. His giddiness was contagious.

“No Range tonight,” she muses when Harry stops them in front of a Mercedes-Benz cream convertible, top up.

“Not working,” he replies, unlocking the car with the key into the passenger’s side door handle.

She smiles and slides into the car and watches him jog around to his side and unlock it as well.

“Tonight is going to be fantastic,” he says, leaning over the console and kissing her cheek, just beside her lips.

And when he pulls away with that smug smile of his, she knows he kissed her there on purpose. But the little tease only makes her smile more. He was good at this. And he was right.

The night was fantastic. As was every night after. And she learned that Harry was so much more than anything she ever thought. She counted herself lucky to be loved by a man like him.

[blueprint-han]

[Image ID: A black picture with the title “HOW TO SUPPORT FANFICTION AUTHORS” written in bold caps lock, colored with a winter forest picture. End ID.]

Well, this post has been made countless times, but I’m making one too because I’ve seen a lot of people say they’re new to tumblr and don’t know the whole “reblogging is better than liking” rule and other stuff. So without any further ado, here are ways YOU can support the fanfiction authors. Now keep in mind this applies to almost every author out there, not just the stayblr fandom, so if you’re a silent reader (or even if you aren’t), I advise you go through this post. Warning, this is a fairly long post going into detail, so yeah. I still expect you, the readers to read this, and if you’re a writer, feel free to lmk if i’ve written smth wrong or if you want me to add something! ^^

In this post I’ll go into thorough analysis of the pros and cons of each of the methods listed here and how YOU as a reader can show the authors whose fics you read more love and motivate them to produce content.

WARNING; LONG POST! GOES INTO A DECENT AMOUNT OF DETAIL. NOT EDITED, EXCUSE ANY TYPOS.

#1 : LIKING !

I think this is basic common knowledge, and a lot of people tend to do this. When you like the post, the author sees it, you see it, and if the author has their liked posts accessible (which majority of the time they don’t), and if someone deliberately goes to check it, then they see it. See why so many authors say just liking does nothing? Only liking says “Hey, I’m gonna tell you your story is not that good by simply liking it and not sharing it with other people. :D”

♯ PROS:

You’re telling the author that you've read their fic, and either you’ve enjoyed it to a certain extent, or you’re just saving it to read for later.

Likes are seen by you, the author and anyone who has access to your likes (which, most people don’t).

♯ CONS:

If you ONLY like, you’re not really helping the author’s work reach a wide audience because this site isn’t Instagram. Reblogging is the only way people can SEE our works. I’ll cover more on that in the next section.

In a nutshell, liking is good! But you should most likely use it in a combination with the other stuff I’ve listed below, because just the like itself doesn’t really do much in giving the author any feedback or interaction on their fics.

To clear shit up; I’m not talking about those people who don’t read the story or appreciate it in the first place. I’m talking about those who appreciate the fic, like it, but don’t leave any sort of feedback to show that.

#2 : REBLOGGING !

This is SO, SO important. I cannot stress on this enough. Let me explain WHY so many writers stress on reblogging content: 

Tumblr’s tag system is inherently fucked up, and has grown more so over the year. I’m not kidding, at first, the fic either used to show up in the tags or it didn’t, but now, sometimes your fic can be REMOVED from the tags because of,,, idk tumblr tag shit. Anyways, as you can see, it’s very demotivating for authors at that point, because the major way for people to find their content and expand their blogs has been blocked.  

Due to this reason, tumblr authors need to RELY on you, their followers to help spread their works to a wider audience. Now again, before you get me wrong, I’m not saying you ae forced to rb our works regardless of whether you like them or not. BUT, that being said, if you DO infact like the story, there’s no harm in reblogging, right? By doing this you’re indirectly telling the author — “hey! :D I liked your fic! Which is why I am gonna share it to my followers so they can read it too :D” Trust me, you’re doing nothing but helping the people who produce content for you to read. Seems like a worthy cause to hit the reblog button, right? It’s only a one, or maximum two step procedure.

Leave tags in your reblogs! Trust me, as an author myself and as much as I know from all my author friends, we oft check the tags of your reblogs to see if you found any part amazing or even if you have anything to say about the writing we put so much hard work into. Even a key smash or a “This was so [insert adjective] 🥺” is enough to leave a smile on your authors face. 

♯ PROS :

You’re !! Sharing !! Your authors !! Works !! This leads to them getting more recognition, so for the content they’re so graciously providing for free, you’re promoting their blog and helping them expand it.

If the tags are being a shit, which majority of the time they are, then you’re literally making an author’s day by reblogging! You’re showing them that you, a follower and appreciator of their works are willingly sharing their content because it deserves to be seen by more people. Again before any dumb people decide to attack me, i am talking about people who like the fic but don't bother reblogging and are silent/ghost readers. I am not forcing anyone to read anybody’s work.

YOU’RE MAKING YOUR AUTHOR SO HAPPY WHAT MORE REASONS COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT !! 🥺

♯ CONS :

Literally none, because as far as I remember no author is against reblogging of their works. It’s quite literally the way this platform functions. Reblogging is IMPORTANT.

#3 : COMMENTING/SENDING FEEDBACK !

This kind of overlaps with the previous section, but THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT STEP !! When you leave feedback, you are directly giving the author something so much more valuable to them than high follower/note counts or money. Your feedback is literally our serotonin. I kid you not the number of times I’ve received a positive comment and smiled and it has made my day. There’s a reason youtubers (though not the best example, bear with me here because it was the only one I could think of) ask people to subscribe, like and COMMENT. The subscription is like a follow, the like is ofc like a heart, and the comment is equivalent to an rb with comments in the tags. 

You might argue and tell me that a comment is basically like an ask so the reblogging step isn’t necessary, but I’m sure 99% of you use YouTube and you know that more comments leads to people’s videos boosted in the stream/trending charts. This is what reblogging does. Reblogging shares the piece with other people like minded, which leads to a boost in reads. You are literally helping your author grow.

It’s quite literally the same thing as youtubers. Youtubers NEED validation to keep their content creation going, so do writers, so do other ccs on this site. This post is however, focused on WRITERS, so keep that in mind.

♯ PROS :

By doing this, you’re giving author valuable feedback! It’s similar to what you do in rbing with tags. Interactivity with their fics boosts their note counts and helps expand their audience, so srsly, now think of it: your one comment is playing such a massive role to help ccs create more content.

Imagine how much of a difference the note counts will be in when every person who simply likes after reading the fic, reblogs, leaves a comment and sends an ask. the note counts would be high on each and every fic, which is validation in itself, but your comments would inspire the writer so much more! Please, don’t skip the commenting part. Even a simple one like: “this is so cute!” is wonderful. 

♯ CONS :

Remember, if you’re gonna give constructive criticism (which I’m sure you all are smart enough to know if different from hate), make sure the author is okay with it. Authors need to be in a specific mindset and must be ready to accept criticism, so if you’re gonna give constructive criticism to them when they’re at a low point, it may demotivate them.

Just commenting, instead of reblogging and commenting in the tags/ reblogging and then leaving an ask in their inbox, while it gives validation in plenty, will not lead to the author’s work being spread. Therefore I suggest either reblogging and commenting in the tags or reblog and then leave an ask, or comment under the fic!

!! reminder; I am not saying that if you don’t rb and just leave feedback, your feedback has no value. We authors truly appreciate every bit of feedback, but this post is aimed to help you learn how to interact with and support authors, and make them feel more motivated, because the current scenario of liking and scrolling is taking a toll on their creative abilities. Take it from a person who’s been writing for a year.

#4 : COMMSIONING VIA THEIR KO-FI/OTHER APPS !

Before any of you attack me, let me tell you that this is not a step that is 100% necessary to do. ONLY donate if you can and if you genuinely want to, and if anyone is forcing you to pay for something against your will, you need to get yourself out of there.

Regardless, if an author has a kofi and you’re able to and you want to donate, you definitely should! It’s also a valid form of support.

#5 : ADDING THEM ON REC LISTS/ RECOMMENDING THEM TO REC BLOGS

This is such an underrated option, to be honest. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen my fic was recommended onto some rec list and it’s made me smile so hard. If you like some fics, create a rec list! They’re oft very popular amongst the fans too. Making rec posts is such a great way to share your favorite stories with others. 

Rec blogs! I’ve seen a couple going around, and needless to say they are a great way to get someone else to read your favorite author’s work whilst also giving them your own feedback. These blogs oft accept recs via a form or ask box, and they leave your feedback along with their own, or else they’ll oft tag the author in the feedback post, so look! You’re basically helping your author share their fic to many more people, because you’ve given them feedback and a reblog.

♯ PROS :

Validation! Feedback! Reblogs! More exposure! Helping a blog grow! Spreading love! basically a run down of the stuff I’ve said before!

♯ CONS :

Literally no con of this. Unless, a one in a million case, this author says they don’t like receiving feedback/being tagged, and I’m sure NO person has said this before, at least none that I’ve heard of.

#6 : FINAL COMMENTS; MISC !

When an author points out about how the interactivity is drastically reducing, don’t just give them blind apologies. Yes, you feel sorry for not interacting as much, we understand, but rather show that you’ll become a better content consumer through your actions. We need to see that we’re not just throwing words into a void and that people are actually trying to be better content consumers. 

Understand the fact that authors don’t get paid for this, and 99% of the time, these authors don’t take commissions either. They’re giving you novel worthy writings for free. Take Percy Jackson: You think the author would have felt motivated to write the subsequent parts, let alone two whole series based off of it if literally no one showed that they were interested? Rick Riordan has sales, he is being paid, there are millions of people and big agencies who provide him feedback. Now take that huge amount and simmer it down to an audience of maybe 10000 people This is what fanfic authors want. They don’t want your money, nor are they telling you to risk your lives for them. All they want is, a reblog, some tags, some feedback, some INTERACTIVITY.  A sign that they aren’t throwing fics into the void and that people actually like them, some motivation to continue. Seems fairly easy to throw an rb with some tags, right?

Don’t bother to tell me that we do this for ourselves and we shouldn’t ask for likes and reblogs and feedback, because 1) you are consuming the content that we “write for ourselves” and 2) writers post their content here for interactivity and feedback. We could just not post and write and save our fics in our dungeon drafts for years. But we choose to post to entertain the readers, the consumers. And we aren’t even asking that much in return.

Don’t give me the whole “I’m scared that authors feel that comments are annoying” excuse either because seriously this has been DEBUNKED SO MANY TIMES. Istg, in the nicest way possible, if you still think writers are annoyed by interaction and feedback, after so many posts, long rants have been posted as to how we’re not, then you must truly be living under a rock. There, I said it. Please stop thinking this way, I’ll say it again, AUTHORS ARE NOT ANNOYED OF FEEDBACK, COMMENTS, TAGS, REBLOGS. WE LOVE IT. Saying this is like saying that the audience in a theatre play shouldn’t clap when the play ends because the actors would find it noisy. 🤡

I’ve seen some people saying they have anxiety issues and such, so pls note that I’m not invalidating your condition. If you’re trying to be more interactive, I really appreciate it! If you can’t, that’s fine too. You’re trying.

But for the people who have no reason other than feeling lazy to rb and comment, your lack of interactiveness is not excused. Please. Tumblr is a reblogging site. If you’re gonna consume content like authors are some sort of machines, I encourage you to go get some more perspective.

This site is not Instagram or the satan bird app. Your likes are appreciated but frankly speaking, they do nothing to the author except tell them “Hey i read ur fic but i'm not gonna support u :D” and honestly, that is detrimental to their creative capabilities and mental health. 

DON’T FOLLOW AN ACC JUST TO MINDLESS RB THEIR SIGNAL BOOST POSTS AND THEIR REBLOGS OF GIFS AND NOT INTERACT WITH THEIR WRITING AT ALL ! Trust me, authors prefer a lower amount of interactive followers than a high count that doesn’t even give them any feedback. Again your follows are appreciated, but when you’re following, you know the type of content the author creates, so the author expects that the more followers, the more interactivity. These days, this is just becoming the opposite. So don’t do it! If you’re gonna follow to read, interact with their works. I promise, this will make both you and the author happy. A win-win situation.

In conclusion: SUPPORT YOUR FUCKING AUTHORS! THEY ARE NOT MACHINES THAT HAVE NO FEELINGS TO PRODUCE CONTENT FOR YOU! FICS TAKE DAYS AND DAYS OF PLANNING, PLOTTING, OUTLINING, WRITING, EDITING, MAKING TEASERS. SO JUST SHOW THEM YOU APPRECIATE THEM WITH AN RB. IT’S THE L E A S T YOU CAN DO.

I will be liking this post here written by the lovely @chaninfused​ and @scriptura-delirus​ . Please take time to read it because if you weren’t convinced by my arguments, you will see how much frustration we as writers face on a daily basis. Please, just show support. Here is the post by @stayndays​ about how to get more people to read your work, because it also has a note on reblogging. Please educate yourself, and put an end to this mindless consuming culutre and bring up some interactivity.

If you’ve read this far, I want you to go to two of your favorite authors and leave some feedback in their inbox, and tag me in it (either tag me yourself or ask the author to do so, they won’t mind). Show your writers that our words are taking effect and you are becoming better consumers. I mean it. I’m serious. I want every single one who reads this post to do this. besides valid reasons, if you’re lazy to do this, you’re a part of the problem. PLEASE get more perspective.

Also, feel free to add to this post! I’d love to read your thoughts too, remember to be kind though. And, if I think your rb is somehow contradicting my points and is bringing down the reason I made this post, I will politely ask you to delete your comment, because this post is about being truthful about the harsh reality of tumblr consumers and how we can change it. I’m sure none of you will let it get to that point, though. <3 love you guys. 💓

And, just a reminder, don’t just blindly like this too. Do what I said before, and while I am not forcing you, I’d appreciate your reblog, because seriously, it took me 3 whole days to write this, plus, I’m sure this will help more of your followers understand the fault in consumer culture. haha, that’s it! This post was way too long uff.

also, this is ur cue to not be stupid in my inbox. You have something to say? Think I worded smth wrongly? I’m sure it wasn’t my intention to do so, point it out with manners. 

[az-cain]

santi x reader smut w “make a little magic” by the nitty gritty dirt band?? lmk if yall want to b tagged in this whenever i write it lol

background: maybe they’re on a business trip (i’m thinking lobbyists maybe for boeing?) and you stay in a nice hotel, the two of you are close friends of 10+ years and good coworkers so you share a room w/ two queen size beds, but one of you has a nightmare so bc you have nightmares of the same things, one of you switches beds.

I don't need the same excuses / All this talk is really useless / You run for cover / Everytime I'm close to you

maybe yn has a crush on him, kinda shies away when they’re one on one lately. maybe that hurts him a little, gives him the opposite idea.

Don't want to hear about the others / There's something here we should discover / Let's make a little magic / Before the night is through

either yn or santi mentions a date or an ex? n the other gets kinda touchy

Oh, you've seen it all before / And heard the same lines / But if you're willing to take a chance / It could be all right, so fine / We'll find ourselves dancing by firelight

“what? we’ve talked abt this before.” / “well yeah but.. idk. i just don’t wanna think abt that rn.” / “why not?” / “doesn’t matter.” / “why not” / “don’t wanna lose you” (kind of an evasion, could mean they dont want someone else to have the other or they dont want anything to happen to them”

So don't you try to change the subject / Or try to put yourself above it

see above

A boy could get pneumonia sitting next to you / That's true

“don’t lock down on me, let me in. how long have we been friends?” / “..10+ years. and i’m not locking down on you.” / “right. so you know that whatever’s bothering you, you can tell me. it won’t change how i feel about you or anything if that’s.. the concern?”

A little sleep is all we're losing / It's up to us to do the choosing / Let's make a little magic before the night is through / Make a little magic before the night is through

“look. i don’t want to hear about your date, because i don’t want you going on dates with anyone but me.” then smut! yay!

Ooh, to the blue skies / Where no one can reach us / It may sound crazy but just hold on tight / Never has a love run deeper / Baby my heart is true / Baby my heart is true

“i’ve loved you since basic” “i’ve loved you since rotc, dumbass”

A little sleep is all we're losing / It's up to us to do the choosing / Let's make a little magic before the night is through

more smut

[libraryofloveletters]

Sober Feelings, Drunk Words

In which, Luke returned home lost and alone, he turned to the bottle for help and you for recovery. 

Luke Alvez x Reader 

Warnings: Fem!reader, self destructive tendencies, consumption and mixing of drugs (sleeping pills) and alcohol, being drunk, the use of alcohol as a coping method, help to induce throwing up and vomit, 2 cuss words lmao, a bit of arguing and sadness (that's it I think ? lmk if I missed anything) 

Category: Angst to the max 

Word Count: 4.9k

Author’s Note: this hurt my heart to write, I was feeling very angsty for some reason idk :/ didn’t use the whole song either but major thank you to ishi for all her help with this! <3 @iconicc​

Major Disclaimer: this is purely fiction, if someone does mix alcohol and pills, call 911. Don't do what y/n did. 

Song: Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High ? 

----

The mirror's image, it tells me it's home time

But I'm not finished, 'cause you're not by my side

And as I arrived I thought I saw you leavin', carryin' your shoes

Decided that once again I was just dreamin' of bumpin' into you

Home didn’t feel like home anymore. 

Luke had been gone for quite a while, he sat in his empty apartment with nothing around except for the tv on the floor. He laid on the floor, his clothes scattered across the room with no intention of being put away anytime soon. 

Things didn't feel normal anymore. 

There was no will to do anything or even attempt to do so. Luke sat there feeling empty and hopeless. The urge to drink hit him, it wasn't something he indulged in very often but found himself doing a lot more since he returned home. 

The journey to the bar felt a lot slower than usual, he took in the sight, smell and sounds around him. A couple on a walk with their dog, a family’s laughter coming from their opened kitchen window, the smell of freshly baked cookies which he could only assume was coming from the bakery he was passing by. 

Stepping into the bar, the atmosphere changed. The dull lighting, the smell of cigarettes and booze and the drunk men sitting at the counter aimlessly hitting on the bartender. 

“Hey you” the woman behind the counter smiled at him, “your usual?” Luke just nodded, feeling a bit shameful that he had visited so frequently that he now had a usual. She slid a glass over to him, “let me know if you need anything else hun” he mumbled a thanks before picking up the glass. 

Okay just one drink and then I'm going home

He thought to himself before downing the contents of the glass. The woman behind the bar, whose name tag he’s now reading for the first time despite being there so often, came back over to him. 

“One more or you’re heading out ?” she asked him 

“Just bring the bottle over Sherry” he mumbled, she nodded before going to get the bottle

Luke’s head hung low, he poured glass after glass until the bottle was empty. He wasn’t sure what time it was but he couldn't bring himself to get up and leave the bar. “Sherry?” he called out to her, before lifting his head to find an empty bar with Sherry at the other end. 

“We’re closing in 10 minutes sweetheart, do you need something ?” 

“Could I get one more ?” 

“I can’t serve you anymore sugar, bar’s closed. I can get you something to eat if you’d like?” she offered him, he shook his head. 

“I’m gonna head out” he fumbled through his pockets, pulling out some crinkled bills and tossing them on the counter. 

“I could call a cab if you want ?” 

“I’m okay, thank you” he smiled at her before pushing himself up off the bar stool. He stumbled but caught himself on the edge of the bar, he headed out and took a deep breath of air. It was cold but not freezing, he wasn’t that cold considering how much alcohol he had just drank. He stumbled down the street, his hand against the wall to steady himself. 

Now it's three in the mornin' and I'm tryin' to change your mind

Left you multiple missed calls and to my message, you reply

"Why'd you only call me when you're high?"

"Hi, why'd you only call me when you're high?"

A woman walked past him, she seemed oddly familiar. Maybe it was her perfume, or perhaps the way she walked, but she reminded him of someone he held close so many years ago. 

With his back up against the wall, he fished his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his contacts. The light from his screen was quite literally blinding him because of how bright it was. 

Her number was still there. 

After so many years, it was still there. 

Here's the thing about her, she loved Luke and Luke loved her but they never told each other that. They lost contact after he deployed but little did she know, but he thought about her all the time. When he finally got to lay down, when it was his birthday, whenever the holidays rolled around, 

his mind wandered back to her. 

When Luke returned home, he got a new phone, a different number but he somehow got to keep everything on his phone. Her number happened to be in there. 

Now he wasn’t even sure if she had the same number or if she’d even pick up. All these things crossed his mind before hitting the green button. 

Ring 

Ring 

Rin-

“Hello ?” her voice filled his ear. 

“Y/n” he whispered 

“Who’s this ?” she asked 

“Don’t tell me you forgot about me after you just walked past me princesa” 

Then and only then, did she realize who was on the other end of the call. 

“Luke ?” 

“Hi” 

“Are you okay ? Where are you ?” 

“Uh..” Luke looked around, before answering her “Main and Park, but you know that. You just walked past me” 

“What ? I’m at home” 

“No no I just saw you, y/n” 

“Luke, stay where you are. I’m coming to get you.” 

Luke didn't object, he was rather excited to see her. Luke could feel the sleepiness start to set in, he braced himself against the cold brick wall in hopes that it would wake him up. 

After what felt like an eternity, the sound of a horn startled him. His eyes snapped up to see a woman getting out her car, he blinked a few times to see y/n making her way over to him. She stood a few feet from him, she wore a pair of sweatpants and a paint covered t-shirt. She hadn’t changed one bit, she was still as beautiful as she was the day he left.

“Hi Luke” 

“Hi y/n” 

He stepped towards her, she mirrored his actions. Luke’s arms stretched out towards her before she finally closed the gap between them. 

God, it felt so good to have her back in his arms. 

“Luke, no offence but you literally reek of liquor” she stepped away from him. 

“Oh” he pouted

“Let's get you home” her arm looped around his waist helping him walk to her car. Luke stumbled his way into her car, managing to make himself comfortable for the time being. 

“What’s your address ?” she looked over at him

“Dunno” he replied 

“Can I borrow your phone ?” 

“Mhm hm” 

She reached over to get his phone, he grabbed her hand and started to fidget with her fingers and the rings on them. She ended up picking up his phone with her other hand and scrolled through to find his address. The drive to his place was short, Luke still fidgeting with the rings on her hand. 

“Alright, in we go” she got out and helped him out of the car. Luke fumbled with his keys before she took them and unlocked the door. 

The apartment was.. sad. 

There was a bed and the tv on the floor but other than that, it was empty. “Home sweet home” Luke stumbled his way to his bed, y/n shut the door before making her way over to Luke who was laying face down on his bed. Rolling him onto his back, he sat up. 

“I’m hungry and my feet hurt” he mumbled right as he fell back against his pillows.

“Take off your shoes and I'll find something for you to eat” 

You left Luke on his bed as you headed to find something in his empty kitchen. There was a loaf of bread on the counter and some stuff in the fridge that you could put a sandwich together for him. Just the smell of him alone told you he had a lot to drink and you knew he’d be sick if he doesn't eat. 

Luke’s footsteps filled your ears until you felt his arms around your waist, hugging you from behind. “Heyyy” he hummed with his chin on your shoulder. “Hey,” you put the sandwich together for him, his hands rubbed your hips.“Come eat” you turned and handed him the plate, he sat on the floor in front of the tv and you made your way over with a glass of water for him. 

Luke laughed along at the joke Spongebob made in the show, you smiled at him. He finished and left the plate and glass on the floor. 

Men, I tell you.

Luke made his way back to his bed, “stay with me?” he looked at you from the bed, scooting over and making space for you.

You never could say no to him. 

Luke rested his head on your stomach and pulled your hand to his hair, you chuckled. Your fingers ran through his hair, tugging slightly as you went, a satisfied hum left his mouth. 

“I didn't forget about you” he mumbled, he was half asleep so you didn’t pay much attention to his babbling. “I always remembered you. You got me home princesa” you listened to him talk. 

The steadiness in his breathing told you that he was asleep, you shifted his head onto his pillow making him groan. Your weight lifted off the bed and Luke’s eyes opened slightly before a small “stay” left his mouth. “I’m just going to the bathroom” you pushed his hair from his forehead before walking to the plate and glass Luke left. You picked them up before putting the glass in the sink, the plate was in your hand when you opened the trash can. 

There was at least a case worth of empty beer cans and a bottle or two of scotch in the trash. Your eyes shifted over to Luke who was peacefully sleeping in his bed. 

Maybe he just had friends over.

You brushed off the thought of Luke having an actual issue but the feeling of guilt hit you. 

What if something was actually wrong ? He was drunk on a Tuesday night and he didn't even realize it wasn’t you that walked past him. 

You made your way back to bed, you sat beside Luke who rolled over to you. His hair had grown out a bit, his curls were starting to show again and he looked so peaceful and so innocent right now, just like how he did when you had first met him. You could never even begin to imagine what he went through when he was away. 

Your fingers ran through his hair as he slept, your glaze focused out the window thinking about Luke and everything that had happened to bring you back to him. 

Somewhere darker, talkin' the same shite

I need a partner, well, are you out tonight?

It's harder and harder to get you to listen

More I get through the gears

Incapable of makin' alright decisions, and havin' bad ideas

Something rested on his chest, his head was pounding. Luke barely moved enough to see the head of hair on his chest. His hands found the person’s shoulders, he couldn't remember if he had bought someone home from the bar last night. 

“Hey, wake up” Luke shook the person gently, not wanting to scare her. “mhm no” she groaned, clinging to his side. Her voice seemed so familiar to him, he shook her again. 

“c’mon, don't you have somewhere to be?” 

“ugh okay, I'm up” the woman groaned, finally sitting up. 

Luke took a moment to look at the woman sitting in front of him, she looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. 

It was y/n 

“Y/n ?” Luke had a confused expression on his face. “Morning sleepyhead” you replied, laying back beside him. 

“Wha- how did you get here?”

“You called me last night, I picked you up and drove you home. You were drunk, do you not remember ?” you glanced at him 

The memories of his half asleep confessions of never forgetting you flooded your mind. You chose not to mention anything simply because if he didn't remember calling you, he surely wouldn’t remember saying that. 

Luke shook his head before getting up. “God, I have a horrible headache” he rubbed the back of his neck. “I got it” you got up and walked to the kitchen. “Which cupboard has the Tylenol ?” you reached for a cupboard door and went to open it. By the time Luke had looked to see which cupboard was opened, you took a step back. 

The cupboard was filled to the brim with liquor, you turned and looked at Luke. “What’s going on Luke ?” he pushed the door closed, “nothing’s happening” you didn’t believe him. You knew Luke better than that, he barely drank but you couldn't blame him or jump to conclusions. You didn't know if he was going through something. 

“You should go” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact. 

“Luke..” 

“Y/n, please.. just go” 

You looked at him, his back was turned towards you. Opening your mouth to say something, you changed your mind last minute and made your way to the door. You looked at your friend one last time, 

“I'm here if you need me Luke” was the last thing you said to him before leaving. 

Now it's three in the mornin' and I'm tryin' to change your mind

Left you multiple missed calls and to my message you reply

"Why'd you only call me when you're high?"

"Hi, why'd you only call me when you're high?"

8 missed calls and 7 missed text messages from Luke. 

From Luke: hi 

From Luke: mis yo

From Luke: y/n

From Luke: r u mad

From Luke: no be mad

From Luke: hell0

From Luke: y yu not ansrweing 

The spelling got progressively worse as they came in and he didn’t leave any voicemails, you decided to call him back. The line rang out, you got his voicemail, “Luke, it’s y/n. it’s 8:58 and I'm leaving work now, I got your texts and calls. I’m coming over to check on you. Text me so I know you're okay and I won’t come, okay ? bye” 

Your fingers tapped against the wheel as you drove to Luke’s place, every possible situation running through your mind. The last few weeks had been good, he called the day after he kicked you out to apologize, you invited him over to your place and made dinner. The two of you talked and he told you about his time in Iraq. You knew he hadn’t told you everything and you knew he wouldn't, but pushing him to talk wasn't going to do any good. 

Luke quit drinking, well at least for the last week and a half. He didn’t want to go cold turkey, and you didn't blame him, you sat with him, stayed up and talked with him, went for walks with him in the middle of the night just to distract him. 

You knocked on the front door when you arrived, no answer. “Luke ? it’s me!” you knocked again, no answer. The mailbox sat on the wall beside the door, you stuck your hand in and felt around, you pulled out a key and unlocked the door. 

“Hun? Are you home?” you called out, shutting the door and making your way further into the house. Luke’s head rested on the armrest of his couch, his hair all of the place. “Luke ?” you called once more before making your way over to him. He was asleep, two empty bottles of vodka on the floor in front of him. You sighed, your hand rested on his cheek. 

Things had been going so well, what happened ? 

“Wake up” you shook his shoulder, Luke stirred and rolled the other way, his back now facing you. “Luke get up” you shook him again, he groaned and ignored your pleas to wake up. You were starting to lose your patience, you shook him once more, he would not wake up. Deciding to leave him be, you picked up the bottles and threw them in the trash before making your way to the bathroom. 

An empty pill bottle sat on the counter, the label read temazepam in bold letters.

Sleeping pills. 

The bottle fell from your hand as fast as you had picked it up. You needed to wake Luke up now. You couldn’t believe he took them and drank, you knew he knew better than that, why did he do that? 

“Luke,” you pulled on his arm to try and get him to sit up. “Get up honey, you can’t sleep right now” you tapped his cheek hard enough to wake up but not hurt him. “Luke c’mon, please get up” you tugged on his shirt and sat him up. His back now against the backrest, he’s still asleep. 

Shit, shit, shit, shit, what the hell are you going to do ? if you called 911, they would most definitely put him in a rehab program and he would never forgive you for letting that happen. 

The light from the window shined through, hitting the sink faucet, the glare catching your eye. You tumbled through the cupboard to find the biggest bowl you could and filled it to the brim with cold water. You rushed back over to Luke, not caring if it spilt all over the floor.

This better work. 

You poured the water on Luke’s chest, hoping the coldness would startle him awake. You now realized that wasn’t the smartest plan as it could have ended in his body freaking out over the sudden coldness and causing an entirely different outcome but you couldn’t bother right now. Luke’s eyes were open, his eyes still heavy with sleep. You tapped his cheek a few times to coax him out of his sleepiness. 

“Luke, honey, come on” you called out to him while helping him stand up. He started to come to, “y/n what are you doing here?” he mumbled. “You called me Luke, I found you asleep and you drank after you took your pills” you told him, dragging him to the bathroom with you. Letting him down in front of the toilet, you sat beside him, his head leaning back on your chest. 

“Come on, you need to throw up” you rubbed his back, he groaned “no” he mumbled, “don’t wanna” his eyes began to shut again. You pinched his arm in an attempt to keep him awake. You knew there was no way to get him to throw up on his own, you leaned him forward towards the toilet and did the only thing you could think of. You stuck 2 fingers in his mouth, reaching as far back as you could until you heard him gag. Luke ended up emptying the contents of his stomach all over your hand, floor and toilet. 

Luke leaned against the tub, you washed your hand off. Grabbing the towel from behind the door, you soaked it in cold water before pressing it to his head. 

“Why ?” you asked

“Hm?” Luke looked at you 

“You mixed your stuff, I know you know better. Why ?” you asked again 

“I just wanted it to stop” he leans his head against your chest. 

“For what to stop ?” 

“The voices” 

“Which ones ?” 

“The ones taunting me, I couldn't save everyone and they won’t let it go” he rubbed the side of his head. 

You didn't say anything and helped him up. Luke wobbly made his way to bed, you helped him change his clothes before getting a glass of water for him to drink. You sat beside him on the bed while he sipped on the water. “You know you can talk to me ? Right ? About anything. I know I won’t always get it but I'm here if you need to get it off your chest” 

Luke didn’t say anything to you, his eyes focusing on something other than you.  Resting your hand on his chin to pull his focus on you, he pushed your hand away roughly. “What’s wrong with you?” you asked, Luke had an unreadable expression on his face. 

“Luke what’s-” Luke’s yelling cut you off. 

“You think I didn't try to talk to you? God y/n, I tried so hard, so fucking hard. Every time I find the courage, I lose it because of you.” Luke’s expression had changed completely, you were able to see the sadness all over his face. 

“I couldn’t talk to you y/n, I couldn't bring myself to talk to you about this. I didn’t- I never wanted you to see me this way.. and I'm sorry that you had too” 

Your heart broke, your best friend sat in front of you with his heart on his sleeve and his feelings out in the open, you reached up and your hand cupped his face. “Luke, I understand okay? I would never focus you to tell me if you weren't comfortable” you told him and he nodded. He got up off the bed and went to his closet, you watched as he reached up and grabbed a box. 

Luke returned to the bed and placed the box between the two of you. Glancing at the box and then at Luke, you waited for an explanation. “These are from all the times I wanted to talk to you but I couldn’t” he lifted the lid off the box, there were at least 50 envelopes in the box addressed to you.

“I thought about you every day I was there y/n, I never forgot about you but I couldn't do that to you.” Luke whispered, his eyes focused on you. 

“Do what to me ?” you asked, your eyes on the box. 

“I didn’t send these because I knew you’d wait for me and I wouldn't let you put your life on hold for me” 

You reached for his hand, “I'd always wait for you Luke, always.” 

Luke pulled away his hand, “no. no, stop.” Your brows furrowed, “stop ?” you questioned him, “don’t wait for me. Y/n, this is the reason I didn't send them, I don't want you to wait for me.” 

“Luke, what the hell are you talking about ? it was my choice” you rebutted, earning you an annoyed look and a groan.

“Just leave” Luke looked away, avoiding your eyes, not wanting to see the heartbreak he’s caused. 

“Seriously ?” you scoffed, “you know what? This isn’t even worth it. You clearly can’t make up your mind Luke.” you stormed out, slamming the door on your way out. 

And I can't see you here, wonderin' where am I

It sort of feels like I'm runnin' out of time

I haven't found all I was hopin' to find

The window was left open overnight, a cold breeze blew through his bedroom. Luke groaned and rolled over to the other side of the bed, his arm stretched over the left side of the bed, the side of the bed where you’re supposed to be. 

His phone screen lit up, the light catching his eye. It was 5:27 in the morning, most of his night had been spent tossing and turning, rethinking the events of last night. 

The phone buzzed a few times, Luke picked it up to see messages from you. 

To Luke: I don’t know why I'm even texting, I suppose for some sort of self closure but you need to know this and if I call you, you’re just going to interrupt me. 

To Luke: I didn’t wait for you. 

To Luke: I wanted to, but I didn't. I found someone else, his name was James and he was so sweet and loving and everything I could have ever wanted in a partner. 

To Luke: Do you know what the problem was Luke ? 

To Luke: He wasn’t you. 

To Luke: After James, I promised myself the I would wait for you because you’re the only one for me 

To Luke: But it’s clear you don't want the same things as me, so that’s fine. I understand. 

To Luke: Goodbye Luke. 

Luke’s heart felt as if it dropped to his stomach after reading that. 

I was the only one for her ? God, what did I do to her last night. 

He did the only thing he could think of, he got up and headed over to your place. See the thing was, Luke had no idea where you lived. He didn't know if you moved or if you were still where you were before he deployed but he thought, at least he would be trying. 

When he arrived at the door, he knocked once but there was no answer, so he knocked again, and again, no answer. Luke began banging on the door, “y/n, please. it’s me! Open the door” 

An older woman opened the door, she looked as if she had just woken up. “Oh ma'am, I'm so sorry. I must have the wrong door” Luke said to her, she smiled sweetly at him. “That's alright dear, can I help you ?” she asked, he nodded. “Do you know the girl that lived here before you ? y/n?” 

“oh yes, she's very sweet. She stops in and checks on me” 

“Do you know where she lives now by any chance ?” 

“Uh, I don’t want to just give her address out to strangers dear” the older woman smiled at him. 

“Oh.. I understand. thank you anyways” Luke turned and headed back down the stairs. 

“Wait!” she called out to him, “Maple street, that’s all I can tell you” she said, Luke smiled at her, “Thank you” 

Luke ran down the stairs, and ran as fast he could to maple street. 

Fuck, why didn't I drive ? 

Luke walked down Maple street, his eyes looking over every driveway to find your car. There it was, 46 Maple street and you stood at your front door, your back to Luke. 

The rain began to pour out of nowhere, like a full on thunderstorm. You stepped back inside and Luke made his way across the street to your driveway. 

When you stepped back outside with your bag, Luke stood on your driveway. 

“What are you doing here ?” you asked him, he looked like a crazy person just standing on your driveway in the pouring rain. 

“You waited for me ?” he asked, his hand ran over his face to wipe the water off but it made no difference. You made your way down the steps, you stood across from Luke now. 

“I did” you answered him, you too, were now soaked from the rain. 

“I’m sorry” he told you

“For what ?” you asked, you knew why he apologized but you needed to hear him say it. 

“I’m sorry I yelled at you last night. I shouldn't have acted the way I did.” he stepped closer to you. 

You watched Luke’s movements, his hands rested on your hips, his face inches away from yours. You’re absolutely sure that anyone who looked outside must think the two of you are out of your minds to be standing in the pouring rain, just having a conversation. You didn't say anything to Luke, you had already said what you needed too. 

“Y/n?” Luke looked down at you, you looked up at him, “Luke ?” 

“I love you.” his hand cupped your face, making you look at him. 

“Luke I..” you sighed, as much as you wanted to tell him you loved him, and you did, you weren't sure if you could, well you weren't sure if you should. 

“It's okay, you don't have to sa-” 

“Luke I love you” 

Luke’s expression changed, there was now a smile on his face. “God I love you so much” Luke picked you up and spun you around, making you laugh as you clung onto him. 

“Luke put me down!” 

Luke set you back on your two feet, this time, your hand came up to his face and he looked at you. 

“I need you to promise me something Luke” 

“Anything” 

“Promise me you’ll try and quit, I know it’s hard but I promise I'll be by your side” 

Luke nodded, “I promise, only if you promise to stick with me” 

You stuck your pinky out, Luke chuckled and wrapped his pinky around you. 

“always Luke, always.” 

---- 

taglist: @aaronhotchnerr​ @mac99martin​ @aaron-hotchner187​ @tclaerh​ @luke-alvez​ @iconicc​ @lieberhers​ @pumpkin-reads​ @katexrichardson​ @thelukealvez​ @sluttytears​ @scandinavian-punk​ @haleymalaffey​ @rosesonmyheart​ @shotarosleftpinky​ @mrs-dr-reid​

[wndrcarol]

daddy’s favorite | ceo!c.d. | part 2

part one

summary: working for your fathers company has its perks. But one of those perks is being able to gain connections.

a/n: okay! so here’s chapter dos. I was thinking of making a picture for the chapters, sorta how I did for kinktober, but idk 🤔 

also! If you’d like to be tagged in future parts just lmk and I’ll add you to the tag list

pairings: Carol Danvers x F!Reader

other characters in chap.: Sam Wilson, Tony Stark

warnings: nothing too crazy

italics are flashbacks

———

Straightening out your outfit, you looked over yourself in the mirror, letting out a shaky sigh. You didn’t think you’d be this nervous going to a party that Carol invited you to but here you were, nearly about to throw up from the nervous.

All you kept thinking back to was what your father said once you got back to the office.

“She invited me to a party to finalize the decision?” Your father said, looking at you over his glasses.

“A fundraiser” you corrected him which made him roll his eyes and shrug his shoulders.

“Sure, I guess. I’m not going to say I’m not upset how long the deal is taking but hopefully this’ll be the end of it” he said, turning back to his computer before you nodded and stood up, ready to leave the room before stopping in your stance.

“Do you mind if I go?” You asked your father, turning towards him quickly as he looked at you with a confused look. You couldn’t tell him that Carol personally asked for you to be there because then he’d find that odd and tell you no.

“Just..to take note and bring the paper. And maybe some moral support” you smiled softly at him, hoping that he would buy the excuse.

He continued to stare at you, squinting his eyes lightly while thinking before shrugging again.

“Sure, I don’t mind. I guess I need some support so I don’t go berserk if things get heated” he chuckled before turning back to his computer, typing away an email.

Letting out a breath of relief, you turned back around, feeling nervous that it was settled. You’d be going and you couldn’t back out of it.

You couldn’t help but think why. Why did she want you there specifically when it’s not really your place to be there at all.

Shrugging lightly, you grabbed your bag and made sure you had everything before putting on a coat and leaving your apartment. You had decided to meet your father there since he said he’d be going early just to get settled and meet everyone.

On the drive over, your mind kept running, still questioning her motives. It was its so confusing to you and you felt stuck in the middle for some reason.

Shaking your head, you pushed the thoughts away, not wanting to think too deep into something probably simple. Maybe it was because you were the one who brought up making the deal? Who knows. Only Carol.

Parking on the side of the road, you walked into the venue where the fundraiser was going to be. There was a lot of people, mainly a lot of people from both companies as well as other companies, wanting to help donate. It was a nice turn out and it made you happy to see how much money the fundraiser had already made.

Looking around the room, your eyes quickly landed on Carol who stood across the room, already looking at you.

Raising her glass at you, you gave her a small wave before beginning to take off your coat, ready to put it down at the empty table you stood infront of.

“(Y/N)!” You heard someone scream. Turning around, you smiled realizing it was your father coming up towards you. Leaning in for a hug, he pulled back and taking your coat before walking you over to his table.

“Took you long enough to get here” he said, placing your coat down next to what looked like his as you chuckled.

“Didn’t know I was on a schedule” you said before he scoffed at you before giving you a smile.

“Well, now you are. We’re going to go talk to Danvers now since she wouldn’t say anything until you got here” he said with a curious tone which made you pause your actions.

“I wonder why” you said to him, giving him a quick smile before clearing your throat.

“Let’s get this started” you father said, ignoring how you sounded before dragging you across the room where Carol stood, conversing with two men next to her.

You watched at how they looked at her, eyeing her up and down, seeming more interested in her looks than what she was saying. It aggravated you slightly to how they were looking at her. You don’t know why but it just did and you hated feeling like that, towards someone you barely know. Someone your father was rivals soon to be friends with.

Shaking the feeling away, you reached the table without realizing it until your father punched your arm, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Danvers, so good to see you again” your father said, with a tight smile. Carol looked away from the two men, turning back quickly to say ‘excuse me’ before turning fully to your father and you.

“Tony, please. Call me Carol” she said, reaching her hand out for him to shake. “We’re supposed to be partners, no?” She smiled, as he shook her hand.

“So you agree to the deal?” Your father asked eagerly, taking his hand away as Carols gaze move to you before shaking her head.

“Don’t jump time conclusions now, Stark. Nothing is final” she smiled, her eyes still on you before looking back at him.

“Dan- I mean, Carol” your father said, leaning against the table as you just stood their idly. You stepped back a bit, giving them space to converse. Looking around again as their conversation became white noise to you, you saw Sam laughing with a guy. Turning slightly to the side, he met your gaze before waving at you and turning back to the guy who began saying something else to Sam.

You felt your heart flutter at the small gesture as you looked down lightly, a small smile on your face, feeling your face heat up slightly. Unknowingly to you, Carol saw you through the corner of her eye as she shifted her gaze across the room to where you were looking. She had blocked out anything your father was saying as she zoned in on the guy who waved at you, feeling an inch of jealously wash over her.

“Stark, I’m going to stop you there” Carol said, turning back to Tony as he shut up quickly. That caught your attention as you turned to her too, clutching the folder in your hands that you dragged along with you that held the contract.

“Listen, the deal does seem...iffy. Our companies, being as high functioning as they are, shouldn’t be in deals where we become partners” Carol started, he gaze shifting back and forth from you to Tony.

“Even the board has advised against it. But, I’m willing to take the chance on the deal, on some conditions of course that we can get to soon” Carol said, smiling softly as Tony let out a breath of relief.

You let out a sigh, feeling relief wash over you. Carol reached out her hand to Tony as he shook it before turning to you to give her the contract to sign.

Taking out the paper from the folder, you moved it toward her as well as a pen as she watched your movements before looking up at you, giving you a smile.

Right before she signed, Carol looked up at Tony. “But know this Stark. If things go to shit, we know who’s to blame here” she joked but you could tell she was being serious at the same time. Your father laughed nervously as she signed the paper before moving it back towards you on the table.

“Don’t lose that” Carol winked at you before taking a sip of her drink and excusing herself to go to the bathroom.

Your father turned to you with a smile on his face. “That took long enough” he said before pulling you in for a side hug and placing a kiss on the top of your head.

“You did good, kid. Don’t know what you did to convince her since she’s tough but I’m proud of you” he said, leaning his head against the top of yours.

“I’m proud of you too” you said, hugging him before he pulled away.

“I’m going to make my rounds again, ya know, boast about the new deal” your father winked at you before walking off to a table that most of his colleagues were at.

You sighed before making your way back across the room to put the paper away in your bag. You felt good about tonight, finally feeling happy that the deal was done and finalized. Your thoughts from earlier slowly dissipated and that only made you feel better.

Tucking away the folder and zipping up your purse, you leaned back up, your phone in hand.

“I’m glad you came” you heard a voice say which shocked you, making you drop your phone. Turning to the side, you saw Carol smirking as she took a sip from her drink.

Bending down to pick up your phone, you stood back up quickly, feeling eyes on you as checked your phone for any cracks which, thankfully, didn’t have any.

“Didn’t seem as if I had a choice” you said, giving her a tight smile as you placed your phone in your pant pocket.

“Well, you did. But, if you didn’t then your father would’ve been upset for not landing the deal” Carol said, swirling the drink around in her glass. You felt your stomach drop slightly at the mention of the word ‘father’. You and your father had decided to keep that you were family under wraps since you didn’t want to jeopardize anything or let anyone know he has his daughter working at his company. So hearing the word fall from her lips, shocked you.

“How did you-“ you said before Carol chuckled, cutting you off.

“There’s something you should know and it’s that I know everything” she smirked before taking a step towards you.

“But one thing I don’t know is if you have a boyfriend or not” she said, practically so close you could almost feel her breath on you.

“And how is that any of your business?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest as Carol looked you curiously.

“Well, I’d like to know so I could do something” she smiled as you raised your eyebrows at her. Part of Carol wanted to know so that jealously she felt earlier could wash away.

“And if I don’t? What would you say?” You asked, giving her a small smirk. You wanted to play along to see how she’d react and what she’d say. You felt almost a bit excited by this.

“Well, I’d love to take you on a date and show you a good time” she said, taking another sip of her drink as you stood there a small smile on your face as you began to feel flushed.

“A bit bold aren’t we?” You asked, looking away quickly before turning back to Carol.

“What can I say? I have to beat the competition to take out a girl like you” she said, leaning her glass towards you when saying ‘you’

“Well, in that case” you started, giving her a small smile and batting your eyelashes lightly at her, “I'm gonna have to think about it. It’s a big decision, I’m sure you know all about those” you finished, patting her shoulder, repeating to her what she had told you in her office before picking up the rest of your things and heading to the bathroom, the smile still on your face.

Carol chuckled as she walked you walk away, downing the rest of her drink before placing the glass on the table. “Touché”

————

feedback is appreciated!

tagging - @marvelbbyx @mynameispurple

[worshiphwa]

Just gonna put it out there idk how well it will be relieved but oh well.

Warnings ⚠️ for : mentions/talks of smut, lack of tags, trigger warnings, being triggered, panic attacks, flashbacks of bad experiences.

(if i need to add anything else lmk)

I really have a strong, super strong dislike for people who don't tag their work, at all and appropriately/extensively.

This is coming from a smut writing perspective, just because that's personally where I see it the most, although it is something that can apply to all works if they fit the bill.

It's like do you not care (or is a case of lack of knowledge) that your lack of tags/appropriate tags could trigger someone and cause them a panic attack. Or even flashbacks to a bad incident they've had. Or that you've made someone uncomfortable because they've been mislead to read something they're not personally comfortable with.

Tagging smut, enemies to lovers, and leaving it at that doesn't do either. (this is what I mean by no tagging extensively. and to note it's different when you think you've tagged everything but you've missed one or two and are willing to amend that if you notice later or it's pointed out) Practically as shitty as no tags when it comes to warning people what things there are in the fics that might trigger them or make their uncomfortable.

And don't anyone start with the well they shouldn't read it if its not tagged appropriately because that's not fair. You can't blame someone for thinking oh maybe there's not any potential triggers because the author hasn't tagged any. It's the authors responsibility to let people know if there are any potential triggers in their work, it's called be considerate to others. Make sure people are safe and have a good experiences reading your works.

Tag your works and make sure it's done properly and extensively people!!!!!!!!