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resowrites · 10 months

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Waterloo - oneshot.

Summary: Speculation abounds about his wife's pregnancy and Henry finally has enough…

Pairings: AU!Henry Cavill x Wife!OC

Warnings: fluff, angst, banter/British humour, language, dialogue heavy, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 2034

A/N: This was supposed to go up last week but time got away from me. Please note: as I've tried to write this story as both standalone oneshots and an ongoing series, I now have to use more imagery to flesh out this arc and I'm aware this may disappoint some of you. But I want you all to know, whether you're a regular reader of mine or not, I will always adore and support you no matter who you are or what you look like. Please also note: this is pure fiction (as in completely made up), and not in any way meant to reflect reality. Love you guys ~ R x

My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting!

Waterloo - oneshot.

Henry couldn't help but smile when he reentered the living room and saw her lying there. They'd walked the dogs only twenty minutes before and she was so exhausted she'd collapsed on the sofa the moment they got home. He watched as her chest rose steadily with every breath, with her legs tucked up and a hand cupping the base of her stomach. Luckily her morning sickness had lessened and the worst symptom her pregnancy was causing at that moment was bouts of extreme tiredness. He was loathe to wake her, especially as he had difficult news to share. Seeing her so soundly asleep reminded him of how vulnerable she was and his chest stirred with a mixture of anger and worst of all - guilt. "Ollie, it's dinnertime, can you wake up for me?" He rubbed her shoulder in an attempt to rouse her slowly. But her eyes burst open and she bolted upright.

"M-mmm what time is it?"

"Six o'clock darling, you fell asleep after our walk. I thought you'd like some dinner, you can join me in the kitchen if you're up to it?" She blinked at Henry several times, still trying to get her bearings.

"Yeah, okay, just help me up…" He smiled lovingly and took her by the hands. "What are we having? If you want I can drive to the deli and pick us up a couple of subs?" Henry vigorously shook his head.

"No, it's fine darling, I'm going to make something. Besides, you need to rest. There's… also something we need to discuss." As if on queue, his phone pinged for what felt like the hundredth time that hour. Henry tried to ignore it and offered her a reassuring smile. But her mouth set into a frown.

"What is it? Are your Mum and Dad okay?!"

"Yes sweetheart, it's nothing like that. Come on, let's have something to eat first." He attempted to lead her into the kitchen but she held fast.

"Henry, you're worrying me. What is it?" He gazed into her eyes for a few seconds and sighed.

"Look, I really didn't want to bring this up—"

"Bring up what?! Just tell me!"

"Okay, okay… you know we went shopping yesterday and you thought someone took a picture of us?" She nodded slowly. "Well, it turns out a picture was taken. And then posted on Twitter." She blinked at Henry several times.

"So? Sometimes people catch us and take photos…"

"Darling, I… things are different now." He reached for her stomach.

"Oh…"

"Look, my publicist's already called me. The picture's everywhere and she wants to know how we'd like to proceed—"

"What? Why?"

"Well, maybe if we're more upfront the speculation will die down and there'll be less interest…" Henry trailed off, unable to read the look on her face. Eventually, she cleared her throat.

"Henry, it really doesn't matter what we confirm and/or how. People are still going to take our pictures and gossip. It's why I didn't want to do anything in the first place - it's not going to make any difference." His head dropped to his chest.

"… I'm so sorry, darling." She cradled Henry's face and gave him a quizzical look.

"What for?"

"For all of it. I wanted to do my best to protect you and I've failed."

"Failed? It's not your fault someone saw us—"

"Yes, but if you were with someone else, you'd have none of this. You could just live your life without being talked about the whole world over." She chuckled.

"Aren't you exaggerating slightly? It's only a small group of people who really cares about this. Besides, we've been together nearly a decade—"

"I know, but that's not how they see it. I'm just scared that this will all escalate now that that picture's out there—"

"But darling that's beyond our control. Besides, it's not like anyone's made any threats… is it?"

"No, but what if they do? I mean I would never want to scare you but you know how unhinged people can be. If anything happens to you I'll never forgive myself." She couldn't help but laugh again.

"Well, for starters we're holed up here most of the time and security aside, we also have two Akita's who aren't exactly fond of strangers. I'm sure we'll be fine…" But he was in no mood for her teasing.

"Darling this isn't funny, I feel beyond awful. You should never have had these sorts of worries, pregnant or not."

"Don't be daft. I wouldn't trade our life for anything. Okay, so it can be a nuisance at times, but what others think isn't important. We have to live our lives, Henry. We were going to be spotted at some point. It's probably better people know now rather than when we're randomly seen pushing a pram."

"I know, I know. But I still feel helpless. It makes me fear for when the baby's actually here. How are they going to cope with being in the public eye? How the hell am I going to keep them safe as well?"

"Well, they won't even be able to find their feet for the first four months—" Henry's face hardened.

"Ollie, this isn't a bloody joke. Once our kid is out there, there's only so much we can do—"

"But that would be the case whether they were the child of someone famous or not. If there's one thing this pregnancy's taught me so far, it's that we can't have total control. Okay, so one day they'll have to learn why people want to meet their dad and take pictures of him, but that's not a bridge we'll have to cross for some time." He was silent for several moments. "Darling, talk to me…"

"It's nothing, it's just… none of it's worth it. Especially now."

"What are you saying?"

"I saying, I'm ready to—"

"Stop right there—"

"No, Ollie. I won't. Sooner or later it'll become the biggest stressor for us as a family. If the two of you aren't being photographed in the street, there'll be times when you're by yourselves - just the thought of what could happen makes me sick to my stomach."

"Darling, we were out in public and you're a public figure. Okay, so it's unfortunate. But it's not like they got a picture of them—"

"And what about when they do? As you said, we can't fully protect them—"

"Well, for starters, the law's on our side. But other than that you're going to have to learn to let this go. What will be, will be." Henry nearly blew his top.

"How can you be so bloody calm about this?! I'm scared that the more pregnant you look, the more invasive people will become. I don't even want people coming up to you, let alone anything else—"

"I've handled that okay in the past haven't I?" He smiled sadly and held her tight.

"Of course you have, and I'm not saying you're some delicate flower but this isn't just about us anymore. I want to do my best for you and the baby and it scares me how terrible people can be."

"Why? Just what exactly are they saying?" Henry didn't know how to respond. She sighed. "Oh sweetheart, it's not your fault."

"Of course it is! And what can I do about any of it? Nothing unless I give it up—"

"Don't be ridiculous, even that wouldn't be enough. Once you're famous, you're famous. We just have to rise above it."

"But I want to respond, let people know they can keep their disgusting opinions to themselves—"

"And has that ever worked in the past? Look, we really will be alright. You have nothing to apologise for or feel guilty about. We have a wonderful life, Henry. We have so many amazing adventures together and we're about to embark on our biggest one yet…" She rubbed his chest but his head hung low.

"I still want you both to have as little stress as possible."

"What will make me less stressed is you promising not to get any more upset by this, okay?” She bit her lip. “And if it makes any difference, I already knew about the picture." Henry’s eyes darted upwards.

"What?!"

"My sister messaged me when she saw it doing the rounds on Instagram. She's blocked the people trying to get more information." His nostrils flared.

"See?! They've already started harassing our family! We've got to nip this in the bud now—"

"Darling, we're damned if we do, damned if we don't. Luckily we have good people around us and they've promised to say nothing—"

"That's not what worries me. Why didn't you say anything?"

"… Because I knew you were already feeling bad and I didn't want to make it worse." Henry's heart ached.

"Oh, darling. You know you can always tell me anything. Just promise me you won't go reading comments—"

"I won't. But… can you be honest about something?"

"Of course."

"… Do I look big?"

"What? Why would you even think that?!"

"Are you sure?"

"Darling, that's the reason they're in a tizzy, they can't tell if you're pregnant or not—"

"Well… soon they'll know for sure."

"Oh Ollie, please promise me you're not worried about that of all things? All this pregnancy has done is make you even more beautiful—" she scoffed.

"Henry, look… we can work out our plans as a family when we need to. But you love what you do, it's who you are and what you've worked so hard for—"

"No, it's not. Finding you made me realise it never has been. Making you my wife, starting a family… that's who I am. What I've always wanted. I'd do anything now, just so long as you and our kid are always near me." She felt a lump in her throat. "Don't you get it ya numpty? I've never seen your eyes look so soft and warm. It's not about me missing out - I love doing nothing with you Ollie." She swallowed back her tears.

"Well, let's just wait until they're here, okay? Then we can go from there. But I promise you, I'm not worried about that picture, and neither should you be." His head sunk again.

"… They had no right to even take it." She then shot him a mischievous look.

"Well, was it at least enough to distract from the size of my arse?" Henry softened and quickly turned her around.

"Hang on, lemme take a look—" she spun back and thumped him on the arm.

"Don't you start now, mister - I only have so much bloody patience!" Henry's eyes quickly lost their playful spark. "Well, if things get that bad… you could always do a naked calendar. That'd give them something else to talk about—"

"A naked calendar?! You do realise I'm far too hung to appear in-frame?" She clucked her tongue.

"Oh please, the photographer would need more Vaseline for the lens than what's currently in production…" His eyebrows hit the ceiling.

"What are you trying to say?! You're no bloody prize either!" She thwacked Henry on the arm.

"At least they wouldn't be swapping out the lens every thirty seconds—" He gasped.

"Well, I'm surprised that person's phone didn't explode when they took that picture!" Her mouth fell open.

"Oh yeah?! Cos I'm shocked anyone even bothers to take their camera out to snap you—" Henry couldn't stand it any longer and pulled her in for a kiss.

"… Then let me take my shirt off and we'll see just how well I photograph—"

"No fucking thank you! I don't want to be put off that dinner you said you were going to make. In fact, you can now take me out for it—"

"Will a drive-thru be alright?"

"No, it bloody well won't you little bollocks! You know, just for that, you can take me to the new Italian on Harpin Lane—"

"But they won't even do spaghetti there!"

"Tough shit. You should have thought about that before you opened your mouth—"

"Well, from now on I definitely won't be!"

"Good! More breadsticks for me!"

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#henry cavill #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill imagine

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gifsbymel · 5 months

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Hello!

I'm waiting for fc suggestions until the end of December, especially about underused fc who don't have that many gifs and need it. Next year, I would like to make gifs of several faceclaims who have not been made many gifs of and who are not turkish actors/actresses. (I will continue to make gifs about turkish actors/actresses, but I don't want to just about them, that's why I want to meet new faces).

You can send suggestions to inbox, chat, discord or comment under this post. (just put "wishlist" in front of the suggestion, so I'll know you're sending it for this)

Please don't out your suggestion in the #tags, because I don't always see who reblogged it, so I won't see it what is in the tags.

You can also send a list if someone has a list where they have already collected names of which it would be nice to have more gifs.

You can only send a name, but if you send a project along with it, you make things easier.

You can send several names and projects in one post or message. You don't have to write a new message every time.

Thanks for sharing this post to reach more people.

#gif pack #suggestions #gif pack suggestions #dearindies #usermina #sparklingdocta #userdevon #userbass #future projects #faceclaims #underused fc #faceclaims ideas #i'm looking for inspiration #signal boost #boost

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wwinterwitch · 2 years

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the right girl - robin buckley x fem!reader

summary: robin tries to keep it cool around you to hide her feelings for you, but that's until she thinks you're dating someone else

pairing: robin buckley x fem!reader

word count: 3,610

warnings/what to expect: angst and fluff, steve being the supportive friend he always is, awkward robin (she's a gay mess around you!), miscommunication, sharing feelings, a bit of crying

a/n: this was requested by a lovely anon so thanks to them for this wonderful idea <3

a reblog and/or comment is always appreciated

– gif is not mine, it belongs to @wlwsource (!)

masterlist | AO3

Robin instantly froze when she saw you walking over to the door of the Family Video, walking inside and flashing a smile to her and Steve before starting to look around for a new movie to watch. To be completely fair, you didn't visit the Family Video so often just because you love movies. It has more to do with the girl standing behind the counter that works there. This particular detail was very much obvious to Steve, but no matter how hard he tried to convince Robin about it, she'd always find another answer as to why you seem to visit the store so much.

"I'm sure she's just really into movies," Robin had commented once right after you left the store.

"Really into movies?" Steve repeated in disbelief. "She's here every week, always asks what you think of the movies she picks, and quite honestly it's like I don't even exist!" he added. "Robin, this girl clearly likes you."

"No, you don't know that. You're just theorizing!" she snapped back, visibly freaking out over the topic of conversation. "Stop doing that before you give me false hope!"

"Okay, whatever. I get that you're not ready to make a move on her and all...but you need to at least read the signs!"

"There's no signs, Steve," she insisted. "Please, just forget it."

And Steve did. He never once mentioned it again, much to Robin's dislike. It freaked her out how awfully quiet he was about the subject and, to be honest, she liked hearing all of Steve's theories, even if they only encouraged Robin to create even more fake scenarios in her head. Pretending you actually like her and you guys are together. That you'd walk in one day to the Family Video and confess your love for her.

But that never happened, so Robin continued to suffer in silence because she couldn't have you, and Steve watched the two of you with nothing but frustration. It was so incredibly obvious you had a thing for each other, he practically had to hold himself back from screaming at the two of you to get together already. He hates to see Robin so hurt over you and not being able to make her see what he sees every single time you're at the store with them.

As soon as you walked inside the Family Video, Robin turned to look at Steve who immediately pretended to write something down on a notepad. "Hey, dingus," she called, titling her head towards you. "We have a customer."

"Yeah, I know. Can you go see if they need something?" he asked, showing her the notepad. "I have to write some stuff down for...inventory."

"No, you don't."

"Fine, I don't. But I already attended every customer that came in today which means it's your turn."

"You have no idea how much I hate you, Steve Harrington."

Steve smiled after her last comment. "No, you don't," he copied her.

Robin sighed and fixed her uniform jacket before making her way towards you. Steve visibly frowned at her behaviour, watching her walk incredibly stiff to where you were standing. He really needs to start giving Robin more advice on how to approach a girl.

"H-Hi," was the only thing Robin was able to say, already feeling her palms sweaty and her heart about to jump out of her chest.

You looked over at her, once again smiling, and Robin swore she was going to pass out right there on the floor. How is it possible another human being could be this beautiful? That was a question she still couldn't find an answer to.

"Hi, Robin! How are you?"

"Uh, fine, yeah...fine," she stutters, clearing her throat shortly after. "And you?"

"Fine. I just finished the essay we had for english class next week, so...figured I could watch a new movie."

"Oh, that sounds nice," Robin replied, trying to make her sentences as short as possible. She was super self-aware and she knew once she opened her mouth, there was no way of shutting up. Her brain would move faster than her mouth (or the other way around) and she would end up embarrassing herself in front of you and completely ruining her chances of ever becoming at least your friend. She couldn't risk that to happen. "And, uh...you have anything in mind?"

You shrugged, "not for now," was your answer. "Though if I need something, I'll make sure to call you."

The way you smiled at her and the sound of your voice were enough to make Robin's mind go blank. No words, no sentences, no possible stuff to say. Nothing. It was just you and your gorgeous face and your breath-taking smile and...

Shit. It's happening. Everything she won't allow herself to blurt out loud is running round and round inside her head. Her mind wasn't blank, it was so filled with thoughts it was impossible for her to distinguish between each of them.

But she knew she had to say something quick before she continues to stand there like an idiot, so all she could come up with at the moment was, "Oh, okay. Grool."

What the fuck is grool? As soon as that left her mouth she wanted to instantly disappear and never come back. She wanted to say "great" but her mind was thinking about "cool" and she couldn't seem to choose one of them before the two came out together. Grool.

Steve was by the counter hearing all of this feeling absolutely sorry for Robin. He knew it was hard for her to interact with people, especially if she has a crush on them. She always tried her best, but more often than not things go badly for her. However, and much to his and Robin's disbelief, you laughed. Not like a laugh that showed you were laughing at Robin for messing it up, but with Robin.

"You're funny," you commented right before focusing back on the tapes in front of you.

Robin didn't fully understand what just happened, but decided to go back to the counter to avoid saying more stupid things. Steve looked at her with a confused expression and Robin immediately put both of her hands up, as if saying "I honestly don't know how I made it out of there alive".

And she clung onto what you said to her that day for the rest of the week, and the week after that because you didn't visit the Family Video. It was crazy how something so seemingly insignificant has light up a fire inside of her that she's not sure how to stop from spreading all across her body every time she thinks about that moment.

You truly mean the absolute world to her, you are her world, yet you've never exchanged more than a few words because Robin wouldn't allow herself to get so comfortable. That would mean bombarding you with half-coherent sentences and just a bunch of information no human being will ever be able to process. She's weird, she's a nobody, she talks way too fast and always screw things up. You're the complete opposite. There's no way you would ever settle for her.

But after that day she started to get a little more comfortable. If you were willing to talk to her after what happened and didn't show any signs that you considered her a freak or anything remotely close to that, she began thinking that maybe there's a chance. Perhaps you do like girls in the same way as she does, and hopefully she can make you feel just as good as you make her feel if you give her a chance.

She talked to Steve about it and he quickly encouraged her to do it. To talk to you just a little bit more and see where things go from there. She was afraid you would be the wrong girl, that her secret would come out to everyone around town, but at that time she didn't see what she's starting to see now.

Her heart almost skipped a beat when she saw you walking out of your car after you parked just outside the Family Video. It's been almost two weeks since your last encounter, and Robin was already planning what she could say to you to start a (hopefully) normal conversation. However, the smile on her face faded and her heart shattered into a million pieces when she saw a guy exiting the car. But that didn't mean anything, right? It didn't mean what her mind immediately wanted her to believe.

That is, until she saw you laughing about something the guy just said as he pulls you into his arms, leaving a kiss at the top of your head. The gesture didn't look friendly at all, and there was no way Robin could save herself from the terrible truth: that is most likely your boyfriend.

She was awfully quiet watching the two of you, and it didn't take Steve too long to notice what she was seeing. "Robin-" he started, but couldn't finish because Robin quickly ran to the back of the store, trying very hard to hold back her tears.

You walked inside just in time to see her storming to the back of the store, which to you seemed kind of weird because of how unexpected that was. Whatever had happened to her, it quickly made you visibly concerned, walking over to Steve who was still by the counter, debating whether or not to go after his friend.

"Hi," you greeted him. "Is Robin okay back there?"

"Uh, hi. Yeah, she's...I think she was feeling a bit sick earlier," he lied, trying not to give it too much importance.

"Oh, would you tell her I hope she feels better?"

"Of course. I'll go see if she's okay real quick, but if you need anything let me know."

"Thanks, Steve," you replied, walking back to where your friend was so the two of you could select a movie.

While you were doing that, Steve rushed to the back of the store and knocked on the closed door before walking inside. He heard a faint, "come in," from Robin and that's when he opened the door. He immediately noticed her sitting by Keith's desk, her arms resting on the metal table with her hands covering her face. She was...well, heartbroken.

"I'm so sorry about that," he says in a soft voice, not wanting to upset her. "I shouldn't have put ideas inside your head."

"It's not your fault, Steve. I let you get ideas inside my head. That's on me," she replied, her voice a little more raspy than usual because she was still holding back her tears. "It's me the one getting my hopes up when I knew there was zero chances of her liking me back."

Steve really didn't know what to do, so all he thought about doing at that moment was walking towards her and put a hand on her shoulder as a way to comfort her. Robin truly appreciated the gesture, a weak smile momentarily appearing on her face when he touched her shoulder.

"Thank you, Steve."

He immediately shakes his head, letting her know that wasn't necessary. "Do you want me to stay?"

"No, no. It's fine," she quickly said. "I really don't want this to ruin my day." Shortly after that, she sat straight on the chair, sighing heavily. "How do I look? Too miserable?"

"You look as beautiful as always, Robin," he says as a way to cheer her up even further.

Robin playfully rolled her eyes at him before Steve opened the door to go back to where you and your friend were already waiting to rent a movie. He wasn't going to force Robin to interact with you if she wasn't ready, so he decided to attend the two of you.

As soon as Robin walked out of the back of the store, you walked towards her. "Hey, are you feeling any better? Steve told us you were feeling kinda sick."

"Oh, yeah...much better," she replied, barely being able to make eye contact with you.

"That's nice to hear," you said, reaching out to gently touch Robin's arm, smiling at her. Of course you didn't mean it to do that on purpose to torture her, but Robin couldn't help but feel absolutely defeated by the fact that you were touching her upper arm and she can't pretend that it means anything at all. It was all just in her head. A fantasy. "I couldn't help myself and I had to rent The Shinning again. I know you said I've watched way too many times, but...well, it's amazing!"

Robin tried to act as normal as she possibly could. Like things didn't just completely change between the two of you. "Why does that doesn't surprise me?" was her attempt of a joke. She definitely sounded less cheerful than usual, but you figured it was because she was still feeling a little sick. "So, are you...uh, is it movie date tonight?" she dared to ask, looking over at the guy you were with who was currently talking about something with Steve. She didn't care about whatever he was talking about. She doesn't care about his existence at all. As childish as it sounds, Robin already hated the guy.

"What? Oh, no...jeez, no," you chuckled. "We're just friends."

"Oh, I thought..."

"I just don't..."

Both of you shut up when you realized you spoke at the same time. "Sorry," both of you said simultaneously.

"You go," Robin says, mentally cursing herself for the way she was acting.

"I was gonna say I don't see him in that way," you finished your sentence. "I don't feel that way for any guy, actually."

That was your way of subtly throwing a hint at Robin, and by the way she was looking at you you really couldn't tell if she understood or not. That was slowly killing you, because you seriously don't know how long you can pretend that you don't show up almost every week to this place just to see her. You need to know if she has noticed, or if she at least feels the same way as you do.

"Oh..." was all you got out of her.

There was a brief silence, just the two of you standing next to each other. You noticed your friend was already with the movie inside a bag Steve gave him, waiting for you to finish your conversation. "I should...I should go."

"Yeah..."

The situation was weird. You've never felt awkward while talking to Robin until today. It was so awkward in fact, that you didn't even say goodbye as you joined your friend to walk outside of the store. While Robin watched you go, you debated whether or not you should just tell her how you feel.

I mean, maybe she's into you too? Why else would she ask if you were dating your friend? It was unclear to you if you were giving too much meaning to random things, or this could really be your chance to get closer to her.

And maybe it was that, or it could also be the fact that you're just tired of keeping your feelings to yourself, that before you could get in the car you said to your friend, "Is it okay if I go back? I kinda need to do something."

"No, go ahead. I can wait here in the car."

"Thanks," you quickly replied, walking back to the Family Video.

As you were about to walk inside, you noticed Robin was also heading towards the door, both of you standing there with the glass separating you, staring at each other with nothing but fear in your eyes. You were both scared of talking. But the situation has reached a point when neither of can pretend there's nothing going on.

You slowly walked inside the store again, looking more frightened than ever. "I...uh, I need to talk to you."

"Talk to me?" Robin asked in disbelief, her heart racing. "I- I was just about to go tell you the same thing." There was another pause before Robin spoke. "We can talk back there, maybe?"

"Yeah, that'd be great."

The two of you walked back to where Robin previously was while Steve tried his best to seem busy with the computer, like he wasn't invested in what was going on in front of him. Robin shut the door behind her to avoid Steve from hearing the two of you, not wanting her friend to hear in case she she gets rejected.

"So, uh, why- why did you ask that...that date thing?"

"I- I don't know," Robin shrugged. "I mean, I just thought that maybe you guys were together since you were hugging out there, and that's why that question just came to mind and I felt like asking."

"Yeah, but why?" you insisted. "Why would you care if I was dating someone or not?"

Robin tried to find an appropriate answer, but couldn't really find one. She evidently panicked at the lack of help she was getting from her own brain.

And so the mess began.

"Okay, look, I know that sounded weird. And I know that I have been weird with you because I always walk like a robot around you and say the most random stuff just to seem cool, but truth is I am nothing like that! My legs work half of the time and I have absolutely zero social skills. Like, I'm absolutely the worst at talking to people. That's why my only friend is Steve, because he's the only one who actually wants to put up with me and my- my weirdness. And it's totally okay if you don't want to talk to me ever again or if you think I'm a complete weirdo for asking questions I should be asking, but it's just...I asked that because...because..."

You took a step forward, one of your hands moving up to her face so you could clean the tears that were falling down her cheeks. She didn't even notice the moment the started crying, totally overtook by the thought that this will most definitely be the last time you'll ever want to talk to her.

"I don't think you're weird, Robin," you quickly reassured her. "I actually think you're the coolest person I've ever met. Well, the groolest."

That comment made Robin laugh, her eyes light up when they look back into your own. "Really?"

"Yeah," you replied with a smile. "Do you really think I come by almost every week just to rent movies?"

"Wait, I don't...I don't understand."

"Promise me you won't think different about me after this," your voice showed how concerned you were, which was mind blowing for Robin. You were worried about what she would think about you?

"Promise."

"Okay, so...I said I didn't feel a certain way about guys because...well, I don't. I have no interest in guys whatsoever, if you know what I mean."

Robin was about to jump up and down in excitement after what you just confessed, hoping and praying this was going somewhere. "I think I understand?"

"I like girls, Robin," you finally let it out of your chest, trying to see if that confession created a positive or negative impact. She didn't look disgusted or anything, so you decided to continue. "And I just...I think you're really nice and funny, and for as long as I can remember I've had this huge crush on you."

You noticed her eyes filled with tears again. "You- wait, you like me?"

"Yeah, I...I'm sorry, I know this is weird. It's okay if you don't feel the same-"

"I like you too," she interrupted, still unable to believe this was actually happen. "I've liked you for the longest time."

It was clear to you that all she wanted to do was cry, so you allowed her to do so as you move closer to wrap your arms around her. As soon as you hugged her, she broke down in happy tears as she hugs you back, never wanting this moment to end.

It was real. You were there, hugging her, telling her that you like her. You don't find her weird, you don't have a boyfriend, she didn't mess things up. You like her.

You hugged for as long as she needed until she calmed down. You knew she was overwhelmed and rightfully so, because things like this just doesn't happen to people like you and Robin. All you see around you is that girls who like other girls doesn't deserve to be happy. They don't deserve their feelings to be reciprocated or having the chance to love someone else. Yet there you were, confessing your feelings for each other.

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting that to happen," she said when she was feeling better, moving back from you as she cleaned the last few tears off her face.

"I know, me neither. And I would love to stay here with you and talk more about this, but my friend is sort of waiting for me outside, so..."

"No, it's fine. I think we've said enough."

You laughed shortly at her comment. "We sure did. Maybe we can talk more about it later? I can come pick you up after work and we can hang out."

"Yeah, that'd be great. Uh...my shift ends at 5."

"I'll be here at 5, then."

You leaned to give Robin a quick kiss on her cheek, watching as she instantly blushed at the gesture as she looked away with the most adorable smile you've ever seen. You mentally reminded yourself to do that later when you pick her up just to see that reaction again.

She opened the door for the two of you. Steve immediately turns back to act like he was using the computer instead of trying to listen what you two were talking about. You said a quick goodbye to him before joining your friend outside.

Steve was obviously dying to know what was that all about. "Well?"

Robin couldn't stop smiling. "She's picking me up at 5."

"Wait, so does this mean, like..."

"It means she is the right girl."

#robin buckley x reader #robin buckley #robin buckley fluff #robin buckley x fem!reader #stranger things x reader #stranger things season four #stranger things fic #robin buckley fic #stranger things

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kitconnor · 21 days

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idk if you made a post already about it but can you please explain a bit more about track tags and how to use it? your blog is such a big help thank you for taking the time to make tutorials

hey there ! i'm so sorry for the late reply, i've been away for 10 days 😭 i don't have a post about it but i'm more than happy to help you out !

what are tracking tags? in order for gifmakers to gain exposure on their gifsets, they will often use a tracking tag. in creating a user unique tag, they will follow it and then reblog things they are tagged in.

how do you create one? a 'tracked tag' is just a regular tag. common formats are: '#userx', '#tuserx' and '#userrx' or someone's username. they typically use the user's name (in place of where the Xs are on my above examples) but depending on whether or not someone already tracks that tag is whether or not you choose to use it yourself. once it's created, it's always good to follow the tag, simply because it makes it so much quicker to find in your tumblr search bar as a shortcut to quickly see if you've been tagged.

how do i determine whether that tag is taken/how do i know if someone uses that tag? to find out if a tag you wish to use is already in use, go to the search bar on tumblr, type in 'userx' and then click on the search that also has the hashtag beside it (you want to search the tag, not the words) and then it'll show whether or not it's being used. if there's no results and that tag is empty, great !! you can start using that yourself. if you search it up and posts are already there, you're best to check the dates on the post. if the dates are recent, someone is likely still actively using it. if the dates are old, that means the person who has used it has likely gone inactive and people stopped tagging them. if you try a few different variations and all of them are in use (this can happen with common names), often people will just use their username. there's no problem with it, but it's less common because people change their urls. some people even do '#user[username]', but you still need to account for changing of urls.

how do i get people to tag me? make sure you've got your tracked tag somewhere on your blog, and if you just decided to start tracking one, make a quick post letting people know ! then they'll know to tag you in things you like.

how do i tag a gifset? apart from single user tags, there are also source blog tags (i'll refer to them as SB tags). gifmakers will typically tag these source blogs depending on the content of the gif and what that blog says they will reblog, ie. #usermusic <- reblogs music content/musicians, #usergay <- reblogs lgbtq+ content from tv/film/celebs, etc. user tags are the '#userx' ones i've already talked about. users will tag people who share common interests or whoever asks to be tagged, (usually a discord thing) as they know that can be a guaranteed reblog. keeping in mind you now have space for 30 working tags, you can tag heaps of people and get more exposure !!

help - i've tagged a SB/user and they still haven't reblogged my work? there can be a few explanations for that. the first one and most likely one is that the blog runs on a queue. almost all SBs do so, in order to keep the blog constantly running. users do it for the same reason, but some will like your post once they've added it to their queue, to let you know they've seen it. it's less common for single users. the second possibility is you've tagged them in something they don't like/don't know/don't reblog. some users have content they don't want to be tagged in listed (often in 'about' pages, on their web theme or a mobile navi.) on their blogs, so you know. it's also often that people only reblog what they actually know; if you tag a user who is predominately sci-fi/fantasy media in your post about a rom-com, and you've never seen they reblog rom-coms or that rom-com before, then they chances of them reblogging your post are lower.

what's the point in tracking tags? exposure !! if you tag blogs that get more attention than yours, or blogs that are a well-known source in a particular fandom, and they reblog your work, they you will get more reblogs as a result.

let me know if you need anymore help :)

#asks #anons #*tutorial #<- figured i would tag it as such in case you miss this !!

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unforth · 1 year

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Reminder

What is a repost?

A repost is any instance where a created work (art, animated gif, fanvid, photograph, comic, etc.) is copied from wherever it was originally posted and inserted into a new post made by someone who is NOT the creator. This is not the same as reblogging/retweeting/sharing posts. Any instance where the social media account of the creator is still the originating source for the post is not a repost, and in general creators strongly encourage people to interact with their own work that they’ve posted – that’s why they’ve posted it! Please, we’re begging you, reblog creators! A repost is a brand-new post made by any other account owner.

Reposts can be authorized or unauthorized. "Authorized" just means the person making the repost has permission. Authorized reposts are a-ok! Thank you, people who are aware of and conscious of and considerate of creators and help disseminate their works with permissions and links back to the original maker.

In any other instance, it's unauthorized, and the vast majority of creators don't like to see their work reposted without permission! This holds, like, umpteen times more true if the original creator isn't credited in the repost.

And to be clear, "not mine," "credit to the owner," "I found it on Pinterest," and any other iteration of "I didn't make this and I don't know who did but I decided to post it anyway" ISN'T FUCKING OKAY. DON'T FUCKING DO IT.

The vast majority of reposting I see on this website isn't authorized, and I'm so fucking tired of it, so just to clarify since apparently some people still need this explained:

Is it okay to repost...

...artwork? ❌ NO.

...animated gifs? ❌ NO.

...photographs? ❌ NO.

...comics?❌ NO.

...fanvids? ❌ NO.

...fanfiction? ❌ NO.

...memes? ❌ NO.

...meta? ❌ NO.

...anything? ❌ NO. ❌ NO. ❌ NO. UNLESS THE CREATOR SAYS "NO WORRIES," DON'T REPOST IT. AND ESPECIALLY DON'T REPOST IT WITHOUT LINKING BACK TO THEM EVEN IF YOU DO HAVE PERMISSION.

I don't think a lot of you realize just how much work goes into editing screen captures, editing con pictures, editing gifs and videos, and...everything. Yes, even creating a meme edit or shitpost. I think many folks have never made anything themselves and seriously think the pictures come fully formed from the magic internet box. THEY DON'T. It takes work to make screen caps, gifs, photographs, artworks, comics, stories (of course), and everything else look good. If you didn't do that work yourself? DON'T POST IT.

(And while we're at it...don't do edits of other peoples' work without permission either!!!)

Look, this is incredibly fucking simple and I can't believe we still need to fucking explain this to people.

IF YOU DIDN'T MAKE A THING AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHO DID, DON'T POST IT.

IF YOU DIDN'T MAKE A THING AND CAN'T BE FUSSED TO SPEND THIRTY SECONDS TO ADD A LINK TO WHOEVER DID MAKE IT, DON'T POST IT.

IF A CREATOR SAYS "DON'T REPOST MY WORK" THEN DON'T FUCKING REPOST THEIR WORK.

You're not helping people "get exposure." You're not helping anyone except maybe your own selfish ass. You're f.u.c.k.i.n.g. s.t.e.a.l.i.n.g. and I am so fucking sick of seeing it.

(also, to be clear: this applies even to "big famous" creators like XKCD, Hark! A Vagrant, and others. The frequency with which I see people who are otherwise conscientious about avoiding reposts reblogging stuff just yoinked from "well known" sources boggles my mind. Can we PLEASE stop already??? And like. I know there are exceptions to this. Some memes especially are just so deep in our collective psyche that crediting the original creators every time is obviously absolutely impossible. But like. I wish there was an understanding that all of these things take work. YES EVEN MAKING SHITPOSTS. At least try to give people some fucking credit. *weary sigh*)

YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO TAKE OTHER PEOPLE'S WORK.

Seriously have some fucking manners istg some of you were raised in a barn. (I say as if my followers are the people responsible for this. I know y'all aren't. Especially my mutuals, I know y'all are awesome. I'm just salty as hell and tired.)

#unforth rambles #i shouldn't post this #but i've seen a few serial reposters recently in the main danmei tagsd #and that always makes me salty #pic-an-hour accounts I'M LOOKING AT YOU #keep that shit on twitter it won't fly here

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whirlybirbs · 3 years

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( chapter 6′s gif by @buckysbarnes from this lovely set ! )

✪ — VACANT MIRRORS ; B.B. | 6/?

summary: gunshot wounds, panic attacks, and evil next door neighbors.

pairing: bucky barnes / f!reader

tags: set before & during tfatws, friends to lovers, therapy positive, trauma healing techniques, ptsd mentions, the normalization of anxiety disorders, and a good ol’ slow burn

word count: 5.3k, a filler before the real sexual tension.

a/n: be warned, this chapter has a diy medical procedure where bucky removes the slug from rabbit’s shoulder. it’s nothing too graphic, but keep that in mind! also, i wanted to say thank you to everyone who has rec’d, reblogged, commented, kudos, liked, looked at this fic. the response to every chapter has been so overwhelmingly kind and i’m so thankful that i have the oppurtunity to share this fic with you all. that being said, i broke this chapter up. next week has some spice. ;-)

( PREVIOUSLY | AO3 | MASTERLIST | NEXT )

Bucky wakes up with a headache that feels like someone’s tapped an icepick between his eyes. A fire-bright burn radiates under his ribs.

It’s a slow creep back to reality — he just lays there and stares at the peeling wallpaper that meets the corner of the ceiling for a while, knowing deep in the back of his muddled, confused thoughts that he most likely has a nasty concussion, maybe a few broken ribs.

How? Hm. Fighting. Music? The club.

Rabbit.

He sits up fast and Bucky’s blue eyes struggle to adjust in the low-light of the scarcely furnished apartment. The searing pang of his headache is enough to make his stomach churn, but he’s had worse. So much worse. This is manageable. So, he swallows down the nausea and looks around the room like a wounded animal — and almost immediately, relief greets him at the sight of you in the armchair across from the couch.

Your hair is a mess, falling from it’s previous style that you’d proudly worn to The Glass Cannon. Your lipstick is smeared, there’s glitter on your cheeks, and your make-up has transitioned from starlet beauty to broken-hearted bombshell. Bucky notices, with a bit of dismay, that you’re even missing an earring. There’s a nasty bruise forming along the peak of your cheekbone and a gash there from when Alexei had cracked you across the face with the pistol — and even despite all this, Bucky can feel his heart clench at the sight of you. A good clench. The sort that makes his heart kick into a stutter step.

You look… well, you look like someone who’d had the shit choked out of them and then was shot.

Shot.

Your jacket, punched clean through with the single bullet hole, is hanging over the back of the chair and there’s gauze taped to your shoulder. You’re leaning your good cheek in your hand, attention turned totally to Bucky, where you’ve fallen asleep. From here, you’re a picture of exhaustion.

Anxiety flashes in his heart and he swings his legs over the edge of the couch.

Suddenly, there’s a hand on his shoulder.

“Take it easy.”

It’s the woman from before, Kiwi, and she’s got an ice pack in her hands. It’s wrapped in a ratty, green dish towel, and she hands it off to Bucky with a pitiful little look. Rounding the couch, Bucky finally gets a better look at her.

She’s older than you, maybe by a handful of years, but sharp and beautiful nonetheless. Her hair is dark as night and the tips are drenched in a lime colored dye. Her eyes are dark, too, ringed by kohl and glitter, and Bucky wonders if he’s ever seen her before.

“You heal quick,” she says quietly as she plops down into the chair across the room. On a makeshift desk, there’s a laptop, “Care to explain how you know our dear friend Rabbit here?”

Bucky shifts uncomfortably. Again, his eyes fall on your sleeping form.

He maneuvers the ice pack in his hands, then gently presses it to his ribs. He melts a bit, ignoring the evident tears in the silk shirt. He feels bad — he’d busted some of the seams in the midst of the brutal scuffle and it seems like this artifact of Jaimie’s was most likely beyond salvation.

His dog tags jingle against his chest.

“Therapy,” Bucky croaks, “We, uh, we met in therapy.”

A new voice comes into the picture now, one that’s muffled by a mouthful of food.

“That’s cute.”

It’s the other one, Climber. He’s traded in his all-black, all-polyurethane outfit for an expensive looking t-shirt. Without the strobes, without the tunnel vision, Bucky can now see the intricate buzz cut that sits beneath the mountain of blue curls on his head. There are patterns buzzed into his tight-shave. He’s got a smile, too, the glimmers a little too artificially. Bucky spies crystals inset on his incisors between bites of what looks like a bowl of cereal with no milk. Spoon and all.

“I don’t think we’ve properly met,” Climber says as he plops down next to Bucky on the couch, “What’d you say your name was?”

A hand is jutted his way. Bucky blinks. He shakes it with his vibranium hand.

“I’m Bucky.”

“Well, I’m gay and you’re gorgeous,” he says candidly, giving it a good shake, “So, if that’s of any interest—”

“Can you please shut up, Climber?” comes an irritated rasp from you in your armchair. Bucky turns to watch as you raise your head and rub your eyes, “Christ, I just fell asleep.”

“And your little supersoldier just woke up,” Kiwi chirps from her preoccupation with the laptop and contents on it, “So why don’t you stop being a little baby and let him look at that gunshot wound.”

Bucky’s face falls flat. He drops the ice pack to the coffee table with a thwunk.

You sit up, gingerly trying to maneuver yourself so as to not bother both your ribs and your shoulder. It takes a moment, but finally you’re sitting up with only a dull ache of pain throbbing beneath your skin. Now, the real sting comes from the bitter look Bucky has pinned you with.

“You haven’t cleaned it yet?”

“The shits in the kitchen,” Kiwi waves at Bucky, as if to say told you so, “She fuckin’ refused to let me take care of it.”

“You’re going to get an infection if it stays in you any longer,” he snaps, standing to his feet, “Get up.”

“Kiwi isn’t exactly the most gentle person I know,” you manage to supply as an excuse as you move through the room, “And I know that thing isn’t coming out without a fight.”

He can feel the grey hairs coming in already.

You stand slowly, and Bucky looms behind you as you weave into the small apartment’s kitchen.

It’s barely lived in, but a few years ago it most definitely had life. Now, it’s mostly abandoned save for a few necessities. Kiwi had told you, a long time ago, about this spot — it was her parent’s place before the Snap. After the Blip, they ended up moving back to Massachusetts. Now abandoned by anyone seeking to really live in the one bedroom, it sits collecting dust until Kiwi inevitably needs it.

Like now.

“Up on the counter.”

You wince at his tone, but still thankful to be away from Kiwi and Climber’s prying eyes.

For the entire time Bucky had been out, you’d been subjected to a myriad of questions — all were fair, really, since Bucky did just bust out the Avenger-level super-moves on some Russian mafiosos for your sake, vibranium arm and all. The arm was really the biggest stuck point in the conversation as you tried your best to explain the nature of your relationship with the unconscious supersoldier on the couch. It was met with plenty of looks, both curious and skeptical.

You’re slow to hop up on the dusty marble countertop. From there, you watch Bucky poke through the kit that Kiwi had pulled from under the sink.

Then, with the calculated process of a man who has pulled one too many bullets from himself, Bucky slams the kit shut and wanders into the bathroom.

He returns with a pair of large tweezers. He’s silent as the dead as he rummages for a pan, fills it with water, and sets the gas burner on. He stares, watching the pot boil, as his foot taps against the floor.

You swallow down any comments.

There’s a clean towel beside you, and Bucky casually reached into the boiling water with his vibranium hand to retrieve the tweezers — whether or not he purposely ignored the pain is lost on you. You’re too busy anxiously spiraling into silence.

(He’s trying to ground himself, to feel something other than panic. It’s a mild spike, but it’s still panic. Because you’re hurt. Because you still have a fucking casing lodged in your shoulder and he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you. Ever. Because he saw it happen and then it was black, and now that anxiousness is creeping in.)

Rubbing alcohol, tweezers, gauze, tape, and… Jack Daniel’s.

It’s from the top of the fridge. It’s got a layer of dust on it — and it’s unopened.

Bucky unceremoniously pops the cap and hands the open bottle to you.

You take it and pause.

Bucky’s gaze is cold.

“You’re gonna want to take a few swigs, Doll.”

You almost snarl. You take a long drink then, ignoring the burn of the whiskey down your throat. It’s only when you’ve had enough to nearly gag that you hand the bottle back and then hiss:

“Don’t call me Doll.”

He takes the bottle and unceremoniously slams it down on the counter.

His movements are rough as he washes his hands — and if Bucky was a better person, maybe he’d take a second and parse through why he was feeling so damn irritable. But, no, no, he could figure out that he was angry at himself and you and Alexei Gardzov and Innessa Sidrova and fucking… everyone because he can’t have any normal relationships in his life without there being bloodshed or pain or suffering. That was enough, and he didn’t want to dig deeper into the nipping fear of losing you, not now, not when he had a job to do—

You suck in a sharp breath when his fingers brush your collarbone. He gently moves the delicate strap of your bodysuit, ignoring the soft skin beneath, and pulls the gauze away from your shoulder.

Your jacket had taken most of the impact it seems. Bucky frowns deeply at the pink fibers clinging to the entry wound. It’s a nasty puckered bit of flesh, smeared with blood, right in the soft muscle of your left shoulder. The hole is a little smaller than a quarter — Bucky recognizes it as shot from a 9mm almost immediately. He’s taken a few of these in his days. He’s glad it wasn’t close range. The burns from the muzzle flash make for nasty scars. He’d know. He has one on his back, right above his hip.

Bucky’s jaw is tight. He’s gritting his back teeth. His headache throbs angrily behind his eyes.

Bucky leans, eyeing the wound carefully. His limited reaction is enough to spark a little light of bravery in your gut, and you move to look at the hole — only to find a vibranium hand rooting your jaw in place. It’s gentle enough as it recorrects the line of your gaze straight ahead. His thumb rests on the curve of your chin as his index climbs your jaw, and the vibranium is warm and cold all at once. It’s an odd sensation. Not bad, but not flesh.

You like it.

(You find your mind quickly flashing with the thought of what that hand would feel like in other places. You ignore it.)

Your eyes are stuck on Bucky.

He’s clearly upset — the pinch between his brows and the evident scowl on his lips is enough of an indication. The bridge of his nose is busted and there’s a bruise crawling under his left eye. The shirt you’d given him is a wreck, and as he bends to snatch up a rubbing alcohol soaked pad, the feeling of shame creeps up on you. The anxiousness that’s settled in the pit of your stomach doesn’t help.

Arguably, it exacerbates the symptom.

The whiskey is slow to make an impact.

But, when Bucky finally swipes the gauze across the wound, your ankles have begun to tingle and it isn’t blinding white pain you feel — not yet. It’s sharp and it feels like he’s touching your shoulder blade when he presses his fingers into the holes to clean the immediate area. That has you grimacing tightly.

His obsidian-hued hand holds your face still through it.

So, you opt to stare.

His arm reminds you of some pottery you’d seen back at the Museum of Modern Art once, on a school trip. In a dimly lit room, spotlights lit up a row of vases that had been gilded back together with gold-dusted sap. You’d sat there for nearly an hour, staring at those things. You can’t remember the name now, not while Bucky does one more pass across the wound. It started with a ‘k’. It was beautiful. You loved that exhibit. Why can’t you — fuck — remember the name? Kinsi… kinsigumi? Gumi. Kintsi —

You grit your teeth and grip the counter tightly. He pauses. You exhale.

You inhale.

Kintsugi.

The seams of his arm remind you of Kintsugi.

It’s beautiful.

Bucky’s eyes flit to yours. He sees your stare.

Maybe it’s the pain, or the half-cocked daze, but the look in your eyes is enough to spur an immediate reaction. Bucky scowls. He yanks his hand back, retreating to the supplies on the counter. He’s pulled, hard and fast, and now he seems miles away.

Quietly, and with a bit more chill than he intended, he speaks. “If it was making you nervous, you should have said something.”

It.

Your head snaps to him.

“What?” you ask, nearly incredulously.

He’s silent. He has the tweezers in his hand now.

Your eyes narrow critically — and instead of shame and anxiety, it’s hurt that flies off your tongue. It’s drenched in enough pain that Bucky hears it in the waver of your voice.

“You think I’m afraid of you?”

It’s nearly a whisper.

He swallows.

He ignores it. He has to. He doesn’t want to know the answer. Either way that conversation goes is enough to drag him into territory he can’t handle right now. Not when he needs to do this without his hands shaking.

“This is going to hurt.”

Your mouth is open — be it shock or anger, he’s not sure. Bucky, however, makes a point of ignoring your expression and your reaction by handing over the whiskey once more. You snatch it from his hands quickly. There’s a look on your face that makes his chest ache. With one last pass over him with your eyes, you take a long swig.

You feel like crying.

You won’t, though. Not now. Not while he does this.

You deserve this.

And holy fucking hell does it hurt. It’s like someone’s taken a hot poker and punctured your skin, then rotated it around and around and around. You can feel every time the tweezers touch the bullet because the metallic little click echoes in your chest. It’s enough to make your head spin, and you grit your teeth and close your eyes and try to breathe — but even after a handful of minutes, when Bucky finally retrieves the slug, there’s no relief. Just a desperate throb.

Your hands are shaking when you reach for the whiskey once more.

You do cry, finally, when Bucky packs the hole.

He rolls the gauze up tightly into a cylinder and, as gently as he can, pushes it in.

It’s a horrible choke of pain that you smother into your palm and pant through. It reminds you to breathe, and while you stare up at the water damage on the kitchen ceiling, Bucky tapes a square piece of gauze over the bruised wound and wraps your shoulder tightly. He takes his time, but there’s a curtness to his actions.

Finally, when he begins to clean up the mess of bloodied gauze, you speak.

“If you’re mad at me, then just say it.”

He snaps almost immediately, like a kicked dog. “And say what, Rabbit? That I almost lost you?”

Your mouth slips shut.

Bucky pauses what he’s doing. He drops the gauze onto the towel and he bares both hands against the counter top. He leans and exhales and drops his own head back — then, you can see his own waves of anxiety knocking him against the shore of composure. His eyes move back and forth, he inhales, and then after a long while he speaks.

It’s calmer. Not so horribly mean.

“You should have told me about Alexei.”

You go to speak — but he stops you.

“I mean really, really told me,” he explains, “Had I known he wanted your fucking head mounted on a spike, I would have kept you far away from that place.”

“We had to—”

“No,” he says sternly, standing up full height, “No, we didn’t. We never have to do anything that’s going to put you in danger. Never. I won’t do it again. You should have fuckin’ told me.”

You’re quiet.

“A few more inches to the right,” he says, gesturing to your throat with his finger. His eyes are expressive and he’s speaking like he’s lived this experience, “You’d be dead. Cold and dead and I’d be here, carrying the fucking guilt around with me because I wouldn’t have been able to do anything.”

His voice splinters at the end — but he’s moved to throw away the gauze and dump the tweezers in the sink. He can’t look at you as he says it, and you know that. Because, just like before, people like you and him have a hard time looking the truth in the eyes.

You slide off the counter.

Your heart is sad. It’s heavy and mournful and weighed down with guilt.

“Bucky.”

It’s soft. He’s scrubbing your blood from his hands.

He doesn’t turn around. He can’t. He can feel the prick of an anxious breakdown beginning to climb into his eyes. Instead, he scrubs and scrubs and scrubs and your blood is stuck in the plating of his hand and it’s not going to come out—

Think of what could have happened if it had been a few inches to the right. The arched spray. Blood everywhere. She can’t speak through the gargle, she’s going cold, she’s gone. And, like always, you’re alone again, Bucky.

Then, your hands are on his.

The touch is enough to stop him. It’s enough for him to move aside at the large, inset kitchen sink. You exhale slowly as you run the water a little warmer and gingerly run his hands under the tap. Your hands are smaller than his, a bit more delicate, and he’s stunned into a sharp silence at the feeling of your fingertips gently washing away the crimson blood.

You grab another dish towel from a drawer beside the stove.

Then, in the dim light of the kitchen, you take both his hands and dry them.

It’s the vibranium hand that you pay special attention to, though. And Bucky feels like a fucking idiot — just standing there, just watching as you run the rag between the gilded plating and use gentle pressure to get into the harder to reach spots. You turn it over, and you dry his knuckles.

You take your time.

You don’t look up when you speak. You’re focused. Almost reverent.

He doesn’t deserve this.

“I’m not afraid of you,” you say sternly.

His mouth is dry. “Rabbit…”

Bucky shifts on his feet and takes a deep inhale. He feels lightheaded.

The whiskey, and the closeness of the two of you, makes your skin warm. His whole nervous system feels like it’s on fire.

“I didn’t mean to stare, I don’t ever mean to,” you apologize as your hands still over his arm. He watches your irises trace the plating above his wrist. The rag is forgotten, its purpose null. Your words are heavy, and Bucky can hear a little shake in them as you swallow, “I just… think it’s beautiful.”

You’re beautiful.

Even now, blood-soaked and sweat-stained. With makeup running down your cheeks and your composure in shambles. Even now, on the run and apparently wanted, you’re incredibly beautiful. Bucky hates how easy it is to admit and how hard it is to keep off his tongue. It nearly gets the better of him. He watches your eyelashes flutter. When you look up at him, the world is suddenly drowned in honey.

“I’m sorry.”

You mean it.

Your bottom lip wobbles.

Bucky, immediately, regrets being so goddamn cold.

You were just trying to help — you were just trying to do the right thing.

“Stop it. Come here.”

The hug is the first time you can remember touching him like this. You think you’ll always remember it, too. It’s sturdy and warm and gentle and honest and you bury your face into the shoulder as his arms come up around your neck. He’s careful of your own injured shoulder, and his fingers find the base of your neck. Around his waist, your fingers dig into the back of his shirt. Both of you ground yourselves in the other’s arms, and for the first time in a handful of hours, you both find peace.

Quiet, sturdy, lovely peace.

And the two of you stay like that for a while in the quiet little kitchen.

It’s not until Climber’s voice rises from the living room that you’re pulled away from Bucky — and even then, your face linger inches from one another for a moment too long. Neither of you say a word, only swallow down confessions that could have been, and move on.

“Oh, girlie, you’re gonna wanna see this.”

Bucky frowns. With your brows knotted tightly together, you weave through the kitchen and back into the living room.

Kiwi has sat up and both her and Climber have their eyes on the bulky flat screen on the dust-covered entertainment center. It’s cable news, and as Climber leans to turn the television up, a picture of you flashes across the screen.

It’s a photo from your arrest six months ago.

“Local authorities are asking that anyone with information on the whereabouts of this young woman call the FBI’s anonymous tip line—”

“Is there a reward?” Climber whispers almost excitedly, eyes on the screen.

“—Authorities are offering $100,000 dollars to the person who provides enough information to lead up to this dangerous fugitive’s capture.”

“Dangerous fugitive?” hisses Bucky.

“A hundred thousand dollars?” cries Kiwi, “Who the fuck did you piss off?”

You inhale deeply as you wave your hands. “The bigger question is who the fuck knew I was going to The Glass Cannon last night. Because they’re looking for me — not you.”

You point at Bucky and the gears are turning in your head.

The pacing is almost immediate, and Bucky crosses his arms tightly as you begin to walk back and forth behind the full length couch that Climber is currently spread out on.

It’s cut short, though, by Kiwi’s laptop chiming successfully.

“Well,” she stands quickly, “I have a feeling that someone knows you’re onto them. And the facial recognition software just got a match. A three point one, too.”

Your eyes brighten.

You’d given Kiwi the photo of the young Innessa, with all her decorated furs and blonde curls. She’s laughing and she’s young and she’s in love and it’s hard for you to imagine a woman like her to be dangerous. While you’d made sure Bucky was propped up comfortably on the couch and then finally calmed down from the adrenaline high enough to get comfortable yourself, Kiwi had dug out the hard-drive she kept on her at all times and began pulling data from the Alexandria Library files.

It had been a handful of hours, so it was clear that Innessa had hid herself well in the vast, expansive database SHIELD kept for all those years while it was in operation.

Bucky is quick to gather behind Kiwi, eyes scanning the screen.

Sure enough, when you come to look at the photos pulled up on Kiwi’s screen, there’s a hit. There’s an identification card photo of an older woman, maybe in her forties, pulled up alongside the photo Bucky had given you. Her hair is no longer blonde, but deep auburn color. She’s marked as having worked with Rumlow — a supervisor of some sort. Makes sense. You didn’t need to see a picture of Crossbones to remember Brock. Even when you’d interned, he’d been infamous.

And that was when he was one of the good guys.

There’s a handful of other photos of her — candids, professional photos, and even one where she is shaking Tony Stark’s hand.

And in all of them, you see your next door neighbor Bonnie McLayne.

“Fuck.”

Bucky blinks. Kiwi turns to look at you over her shoulder.

Again, you speak. Your eyes are wide. You can’t look away from the screen.

“Fuck, fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

“Rabbit…?”

“Fuck.”

Bucky’s face narrows considerably, confusion melting to make room for realization.

His voice is quiet.

“Do you know her?”

“Oh my god,” you say loudly, shaking your head and blinking, “Oh my fucking god, that’s my neighbor.”

Bucky can feel his whole face go clammy.

“The neighbor who—”

“—Who I showed your fucking picture to,” you nearly shriek, “Like it was some cute little matchmaking game!”

Immediately both hands are over your face as you throw your head back. Now, the pacing has begun, and like you’re being carried on autopilot, you begin to move back and forth and back and forth and—

“You don’t think she’d hurt Poke, do you?”

“Rabbit.”

“Oh god, oh god—”

Oh.

Oh, you’re having a panic attack.

Oh, that was quick. Brutally fast. Nearly immediate.

After all, she knows where your family lives. She gets Holiday cards from mom to give to you. She’s been your closest friend for nearly six years. But she’s not Bonnie, she’s Innessa fucking Sidrova. She’s seen you with Bucky. She knows — she knows a lot and you don’t know anything and you’re miles from home, from Poke, from Mom, from Ana… Oh, god, the baby. The baby.

“The baby.”

Bucky’s voice is level. “Rabbit, you gotta calm down.”

“I have to call my mom.”

“No,” Kiwi snaps immediately, “They’re going to be watching for your cell phone pings. No calls, no texting, none of it. And god forbid this woman is one step ahead of the FBI—”

“Oh, god.”

You gasp like a fish out of water, paralyzing fear sending you to lean against the back of the couch.

You claw at your chest and try to remember what Dr. Hart said about these sorts of moments. Square breathing. In and hold and out and hold. Again and again.

“Sit down,” Bucky says as he returns to your side, nearly sweeping you up long enough to plop you down into the armchair from before, “And do me a favor and breathe.”

The whiskey isn’t helping right now.

“I’m trying.”

Another gasped breath.

Climber and Kiwi watch.

Bucky shakes his head sternly, kneeling on one knee and snagging your hands. “Don’t try. Just do it. You can do it. Just follow my lead — you’re the sidekick, after all. Remember? C’mon. There’s the smile. Breathe.”

So you do.

In, hold. Out, hold. You draw a square with one hand on your jeans and hold onto Bucky’s with the other.

Again, in and hold. Out and hold.

And again.

And then, you just listen to Bucky’s breathing.

You’re not sure how long it takes — half an hour, ten minutes, who knows — but finally you’re able to calm the spiraling thoughts in your head. Finally, the loudness quiets down, you catch your breath, and the world isn’t falling apart. The bite of anxiety still remains in the hollow of your chest and Bucky can see that when you finally open your eyes and squeeze his hand.

There’s that look again between the two of you. The one from before, in the kitchen.

“Good?” he asks quietly, blue eyes swimming with some sort of emotion you can’t really pin down. Not now. Maybe, if you’d been a bit more collected, you would have seen it as infatuation. But, no. It’s just… nice.

You swallow and nod.

“Damn, girl,” says Climber from his spot on the couch, “Now I’m starting to get the whole therapy thing.”

“Thanks, dickhead.”

“That’s recent, isn’t it?” he asks, genuine worry crossing his face as he stands to gently pass a hand over your back, “I don’t remember it ever being this bad.”

Your face is sad. “I was just partying through it back then. Distraction was always the best method and then… When I had no more distractions and it was just me? Alone? And, psh, the accident with Jaimie? It got worse. So much worse.”

Climber’s eyes soften. “I’m sorry, bunny.”

You try to put on a brave face.

Bucky stands from in front of you and begins his own pacing. This one isn’t so much born out of anxious nature — but more of a tactical logic born out of keeping you safe.

This wasn’t exactly the turn he was expecting.

“You didn’t recognize her?” he asks after a moment, voice high and tight.

“I’m sorry,” you wave a hand, exasperated, “She doesn’t exactly look the same as she did in the 70s.”

Kiwi frowns at the screen. “Definitely botox.”

Bucky squints. He looks to you for an explanation.

You vaguely gesture to your face.

His brow lifts, he closes his eyes, and he sighs.

Kiwi is next to pipe up. “It explains why the feds are looking for you, especially if she saw you with the one man she knows is looking to hunt her down — so, I think it’s best the both of you lay low for a couple of days.”

“Not to mention,” Climber wags a finger, “Bucky the Babe over here did just piss off one the smaller Russian crime families in New York. So, there’s always that ontop of the evil Nazi-HYDRA-woman-next-door.”

You groan.

“Poke has enough food for a week,” Bucky says nearly reading your mind, “He’ll be fine.”

“So, what? We just wait here? Until something happens?”

“Sidrova is going to try and bait us out,” Bucky mutters, “She knows she can’t just disappear. She’s been settled for too long and we know too much. Engaging us in an altercation is how she’ll do it. Plus, I have a feeling she wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to shoot me in the knees after a few decades. So, we wait.”

“Few decades?” Kiwi whispers.

“How old are you?” Climber asks.

“Hundred and six.”

Both of them just blink at an unphased Bucky.

You sigh, finally standing on wobbly legs. “This feels like a bad idea. I’m just stating that for the record.”

“Better than her hunting the both of you down,” Kiwi supplies, “You can stay here. There’s cable, there’s booze, and there’s plenty of instant ramen to last you until winter.”

“Stale cereal, too.”

“Wait— where are you two going?” you ask, narrowing your eyes, “You’re leaving?”

“Keeping our hands clean,” Kiwi says, closing her laptop, “And letting you be the sidekick, bunny.”

The sadness in your heart grows a little heavier at those words, but there’s a little bit of pride in Kiwi’s tone. As she stands, she moves to wrap her arms around you in a gentle hug. Quietly, she murmurs into your hair.

“Your dad would be proud of you, y’know.”

Bucky watches.

Climber is next, and that hug is bigger, more brotherly, more like sunshine and less like autumn.

“Don’t be a stranger, Rabbit.”

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out as the two of them gather their belongings, “For dragging you both into this. But, thank you. You didn’t have to help me—”

“Yeah, we did,” Kiwi chirps as she knocks Bucky on the arm three times, “Keep her safe, aakarshak purush.”

The Hindi rolls off her tongue with ease.

Bucky laughs. “Bahut lamba.”

Kiwi pauses mid-step. She narrows her eyes. There’s a smile on her lips. “Your pronunciation isn’t bad.”

He shrugs plainly. “I get lunch almost everyday at the Indian place below my apartment, so. The owner has been teaching me some stuff on the side.”

An approving nod.

Kiwi hucks you the keys across the room.

She points at Bucky.

“I like him. Try not to fuck that up, eh?”

And then, the two of them are gone.

And it’s just you and Bucky in the empty apartment.

#vacant mirrors #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barns x you #bucky/reader #winter soldier x reader #mcu imagine #tfatws imagine #A LITTLE LATER THAN PROMISED BUT SHE IS HERE

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sunshine-on-my-mind · 3 years

Text

New Venture

this is for @nakedrogers esme’s 2k writing challenge. (Congratulations on 2K!!!!)

one-shot (sfw)

pairing: Frank Adler x Reader

AU: Bookstore owner AU

Prompts: 13. “i told you not to read that.” ; 23. “i wish you did.”

Words: 1591

Warnings: no warnings as such. FLUFF!!!! Well Frank Adler being super cute is a warning in itself.

a/n: this is my first ever fic so hope you all like this, do reblog if you enjoy reading this. I chose Frank Adler for my first work because i love him so much.

i do not own the characters Frank and Mary. not my GIF.

PLEASE DO NOT COPY MY WORK OR POST IT ANYWHERE.

“I told you not to read that”, this was followed by Mary’s deep sigh. “Frank please just a little more”. Oh well, it’s the same old situation, Mary wants to read more books on mathematics but Frank thinks it’s enough for one day, she has been doing so since they opened the bookstore this morning. This is a new venture for both Frank and Mary, it has been a year since they opened a little bookstore. They were looking for a fresh start, and it was actually Mary who came up with the idea of a bookstore. Frank had a huge smile and that was a nod to this new venture. “That’s enough for today Mary, come help me” the bookstore was not so busy at this moment. Mary huffs, “why? Do you need help with calculating the money?” Frank won’t ever admit but he admires how snarky and sassy Mary can be at times, that kid is awesome. Frank decides it’s better to not reply and focuses on arranging the bookshelves.

The door chimes stating the arrival of people. Mary greets them. “Welcome!” The two women enter the bookstore. “Hey sweetie, do you know where the thriller section is?” Mary scrunches her nose a little, then points them towards the correct direction. Frank has arranged the bookshelves by now and he moves towards his little desk near the cash register. He sees that one of those women is eagerly going through the books in the thriller section and the other one, seems a little lost, seems out of her element. Should he go help her out? Ask her what she is looking for? He doesn’t want to be pushy but he wants to be helpful. While he is still making the decision Mary swoops in and asks

“Hi, what are you looking for?” The woman gives her a bright warm smile, a smile that will make others smile, just like Frank has smile on his face right now. “I’m just looking around, I’m basically accompanying my friend, thank you for asking, I- um I’m not much of a reader,” the woman said scratching her head a little, the little girl still looking at her, there is a sudden glint of joy in her eyes. “Well what about academic books? Do you like Math? We have quite a variety of books.” The woman is in awe of this child, she is not sure how to say that Math is definitely not her strongest area. She tries to formulate an answer when Frank approaches them. “Hey Mary why don’t you go help out the other customer, she looks quite engrossed in her search, maybe she could use some help? Go on.” Mary excuses herself, mentions where the books on academia are kept and proceeds to help the other customer. The woman doesn’t fail to notice that the little girl has quite a captivating and charming personality, her eyes seem to sparkle. Frank notices how this woman seems to be in awe of Mary, also how she is fidgeting a little with her purse. “So, not a reader?” she turns towards him. He is taller than her, and what magnificent blue eyes, one can really get lost in them, probably she got lost in them too because she is trying to fetch an answer but words don’t come out. “Not much into talking as well I guess?” She is broken out of her haze and almost babbles “um no, oh no I am sorry, yeah I am not much of a reader but I talk, I can talk a lot at times actually.” she smiles. That warm smile again. Frank smiles back, and then there is a minute of silence but it’s not awkward, it’s the good kind of silence where you are enjoying the moment.

“What about fiction or maybe non-fiction? Poetry, short stories? Do you like comics?” she laughs at this, he is really trying. “Well I have read a few comics and short stories. I mean I have tried to read books but I haven’t been able to finish most of them, wow definitely not a conversation one should have with a bookstore owner but yeah I guess I haven’t been able to connect with books, or maybe I am just dumb.” she shrugs a little. “Hey that’s alright, I too am not a huge bookworm but I do enjoy reading when I get time. But we all have our own interests.” she wants to say something but maybe she shouldn’t, what if he thinks it’s stupid? She doesn’t want to embarrass herself. He understands she wants to say something and nods his head as if to encourage her to go on. “Alright so there is something that I enjoy reading a lot. I love reading Fan fiction. It’s like I am already connected to the characters and thus reading more about them, exploring different storylines, the whole concept of ‘What if?’ intrigues me.” She realizes she doesn’t say this out loud often, she tries to read his expressions, well he is smiling and not in a mocking way so she continues. “You know there are so many talented Fanfic writers out there, some of the stories are extremely beautiful. So yeah as you said, we all have our own interests.” Frank is charmed by her, right now she has joy in her eyes, he hasn’t come across someone before who has shared this interest of reading fan fiction, she seems passionate about this, and it’s charming and beautiful. Yes she is beautiful. “That seems super interesting.” he hopes to see that warm smile again and there it is. He smiles back. “Well I am glad you think so, not many people do. It’s not that I tell many people about this interest of mine, still. By the way that girl, um Mary? she seems so amazing, not to sound corny but ‘there is something about Mary’, she is so charming!” he chuckles “Well I see what you did there, and yeah she is amazing, she is my niece and we both recently started this new venture of a bookstore, it was her idea”. Well a good idea indeed.

“Oh look at me where are my manners? Hi! I am Frank” Before she could say her name Mary calls out for Frank. The other customer has selected her books and she is waiting by the cash register to buy them. “Well I guess it’s time to go.” She seems sad, why? She is not someone who can talk with strangers but she was enjoying this conversation. She gets so awkward while talking to someone she doesn’t know but this was different, he made her feel comfortable, she liked talking to him, she wants to talk more, why couldn’t her friend take some more time? They move towards the cash register, “Oh I am Y/n” he repeats her name, wanted to see how it feels. Once done packing the books, her friend pays him the money. It’s time to go. Frank think about something quickly, say something, it seems like now or never. Come on they are about to leave, “Hey!” Frank runs towards them, “If you are looking for any particular book, you can call us to check the availability, or we can try to get it for you if not available. Here, take this card it has the store’s number and um- my number” he looks at Y/n with hopeful eyes. Is he trying to give her his number? He kinda seems out of her league, is there a chance he enjoyed talking to her too? Y/n gets this sudden surge of confidence, which is unusual for her, and decides to ask directly. “Are you trying to give me your number?” Frank is flustered, he is trying to come up with something when she says “I wish you did” and it’s accompanied with that beautiful warm smile. Frank cannot hold back the huge smile that forms automatically on his face. “I was, I uh- liked talking to you, and would like to know you more.” Well now they aren’t the only people smiling, the other two have smiles on their faces too due to this interaction, though there smiles are more like cheeky smirks. Y/n takes out her phone, saves his number and texts him standing right there. He checks his phone “Y/n: I would like to know you more too, looking forward to it” He nods signaling the chain of texts that will be exchanged soon. Y/n and her friend open the door to go out when Mary excitedly says “Come again!” Frank sees her smile once again, the one that he will be seeing a lot very soon. “I will.” Y/n says and her friend laughs, she waves and they wave back and with this they leave. Mary is looking at Frank who is still looking at the door. “See Frank, I told you, a bookstore will be a great new venture” she smirks.

#esmes2kwritingchallenge #frank adler #frank adler x reader #frank adler fluff #frank adler gifted #frank adler fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans fluff #chris evans imagine #chris evans x reader #oneshot #fluff #writing challenge #first fanfic

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farfromtommy · 4 years

Note

seb being a stepdad to chris' kids or vice versa!

not my gif

a/n: okay this is literally one of the best ideas ever and im so in love with this fic. i think this takes the cake for my favorite fic i’ve written!! this is mildly edited so pls be kind. im so proud of it and hope you guys love it <3

please reblog if you enjoyed reading and and feel free to leave any comments!!

warnings: drinking, mentions of sex, brief mention of medical procedure(s), there might be some language i dont remember

word count: 4,400

masterlist

social media au masterlist

taglist

~~~

Chris has been your best friend since elementary school and all through middle and high school. Everyone knew how close you were to him and how deeply you loved each other. It was never in a romantic sort of way, though. Nobody really understood the relationship you had with him, they just shrugged their shoulders and minded their business.

When Chris told you he wanted to move to New York to follow his dream of being an actor, he asked you to go with him. You shared his love for theatre and the arts and always wanted to see if you could make it as a big-time Hollywood actress. You packed all your things into your tiny car and made your way to New York with your best friend.

You spent your 28th birthday sitting on Chris’s couch with a bottle of tequila and a broken heart. Your boyfriend of 3 years broke up with you on the grounds of you being “such a drag” and “not someone he wants to settle down with any more”. You had planned a life with him. He talked about marrying you and having kids with you just weeks prior. And he had just thrown it all away.

Having gone through almost half of the bottle of tequila already, Chris took the bottle from you and just looked at you with sad eyes. He ran his hand through your hair as you buried your face in your pillow and just cried. You pulled yourself together after a while and willed yourself to sit up and look Chris in the eyes.

“I know I’m kinda drunk right now but Chris, listen to me. Can we make a pact? When we’re both 30 and if we’re both still single and loveless. Let’s have a baby. We don’t have to like… y’know… do it or anything. We can do it through insemination or in a petri dish or however they do it. I’m just- I want to settle down and have kids but I don’t think I’ll ever trust anyone else.” You rambled, gesturing wildly with your hands. Chris suppressed a laugh and looked at you like you were crazy. You just looked at him questioningly until he realized this was not the alcohol talking.

“Are you serious? Like, me and you? Having a baby? Seriously?” He pulled himself off the floor and sat on the coffee table in front of you.

“I’m so serious. You can say no, Chris. This is me asking you what you think. I always said that if I don’t have a husband or have been with someone long enough to have a child with them, that I would go to a sperm bank and do it like that. You know how badly I want kids, and I know you want them too.” You moved to the edge of the couch to move closer to him. He stood up and grabbed your hand to help you up. He dragged you towards the kitchen and sat you down at the table, telling you to wait there while he grabbed something. He came back a few moments later with a notebook and a pen.

“Alright, let’s figure this out. We’re going to ask each other questions about this and write down the answers. Any conditions we have we’ll write down, if we can’t agree on them we don’t do it. I know you’re not super sober right now so we can do this now and talk about it again tomorrow.” He wrote ‘Y/L/N - Evans Baby’ along the top. You smiled a bit to yourself and waited for him to talk.

“I don’t want to be just the sperm donor, I want to be involved in everything. From the ultrasound appointments to picking preschools. I also want to be in the room when you’re in labor.” He wrote it down as he was talking and looked up at you. You nodded with a big smile on your face.

“I would want you as involved as possible. We would be co-parenting this hypothetical child. My turn. To keep this from getting messy, we should do it through a clinic. Me in stirrups and your swimmers in a turkey baster. Sex can make things complicated and weird, I don’t want to risk something going wrong between us and then there be a child involved. Insemination isn’t as effective but we can always keep trying if it doesn’t work.” You pulled the notebook towards you and wrote down your condition.

That went on for the rest of the night. You and Chris take turns asking questions about your hypothetical baby. You had filled up pages and pages of notes about what you both want, from how you would decide to tell your families to living arrangements to if you’d circumcise or not if it was a boy.

A little more than 2 years later you and Chris found yourselves at the dining room table of his Boston home again. The notebook you had filled just a few years back right in front of you, along with 5 pregnancy tests. They were face down on the table as you anxiously waited for the timer to go off.

“Alright, Chris. This is it. It’s been 5 minutes, we can flip them over.” You released a shaky breath and stared at the tests right in front of you. Chris grabbed your hand and laced your fingers together. You looked at each other before reaching out to flip over the individual tests. Seeing all 5 of the tests with 2 solid pink lines knocked all the air out of your lungs.

“Oh my god. They’re all positive! Oh my god, Chris!! We’re going to have a baby!” You both jumped out of your seats and jumped around the kitchen before hugging each other and crying. He kept thanking you and kissing the top of your head while you sobbed into his chest, soaking his shirt. There were lots of tears over the next few weeks from you both after confirming your pregnancy with your midwife.

8 or so months later Penelope Elizabeth Evans-Y/L/N made her way into the world and the arms of her parents. The world seemed to stop when you heard the cries of your daughter for the first time. You could’ve sworn Chris stopped breathing the second he laid eyes on her when she was placed on your bare chest. He didn’t even care that she was covered in blood and other bodily fluids, he swore that she was the most beautiful human being to ever exist.

He took a lot of time off from filming and working to take care of you both. Once you found out you were pregnant, you stopped acting for the most part. You knew that you wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, at least until she was old enough to go to school, and maybe then you’d go back to smaller roles that kept you close to home.

Chris had a hard time leaving you and Penny once it was time to go back to work. He held her close to his chest and cried at the thought of leaving her when she’s still so little. Seeing the extreme separation anxiety he was already having, you offered to go with him to set and find an apartment or house to rent for the duration of the shoot. This ended up being the greatest thing you could have come up with. Every single project that took him away from Boston, you and Penny were right there next to him. You and Penny followed him to what seemed like every corner of the Earth.

The weeks leading up to shooting The Winter Soldier were the most exciting for Chris. He had been training for months to get into shape and was really excited to have you and Penny on set with him. He had also been talking nonstop about working with Sebastian and Anthony again.

One night Chris came home with Sebastian and Anthony trailing behind him. Penny had gone down for the night and you were nursing a glass of wine on the recliner, watching whatever you could find on TV.

“Hey, Y/N. I should've called ahead, I’m sorry. We’re just going to have some beers while we watch the game.” He walked in and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. You moved the blankets off your lap and stood up to greet Anthony and Sebastian.

“I don’t think you ever got a chance to meet these guys before. Y/N this is Anthony and Sebastian, guys this is Y/N.” Chris introduced you and you moved forward to give them both hugs.

“Sorry for barging in on you unannounced, we would’ve made sure this idiot called you before to make sure it was all good,” Anthony said, taking the beer Chris handed him.

“Oh please, don’t worry about it. He used to do it all the time when we lived in New York. Sorry, the place is a bit of a mess. Didn’t get a chance to clean today, I’ve had my hands full, especially with this one” You gestured a thumb to Chris and he sent you a playful glare in return.

You offered to put together some snacks for the game, knowing very well Chris couldn’t handle his alcohol without some sort of food in his system. Anthony and Sebastian offered to help while Chris snuck off to go see Penny.

“How long have you and Chris been together?” Sebastian made some small talk while looking for serving bowls in your kitchen. Anthony leaned against the counter and continued to sip on his beer.

“Oh, we’re not together. We’ve been friends since we were kids and we actually are just uh...” You chuckled nervously, not knowing what to say to his friends. Chris walked into the kitchen with Penny in his arms at that moment. Her head tucked into his neck, hands gripping at the fabric of his shirt and his arms under her butt.

“We’re raising our daughter together. They go with me wherever I go so I don’t miss anything and so Y/N doesn’t raise Penelope by herself. We’re co-parenting in the same house.” He said, looking at the tired toddler in his arms. Sebastian and Anthony both sputtered on their beers at the same time, not believing what they were seeing.

There was no denying that she was a product of you and Chris. Even with her sleepy eyes, they could see the bright blue color that matched the man carrying her. They saw the swoop of your nose and the color of your hair. They stood there just taking it all in.

“I had a bit of a crisis when I turned 28 after my long term boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere. It was one of those ‘if we’re 30 and aren’t married’ sort of things. We turned 30 and were both still single, so we had a baby.” You shrugged, looking over at your girl.

“And it works, being parents without being together but still living together?” Anthony asked, gesturing towards the two of you.

“We had everything figured out before she got pregnant. We had conditions that we both had to agree on before we even got serious about it. We were both very adamant about not doing it the old fashioned way so things didn’t get messy. It took some time to figure out the… terms and conditions I guess.” Chris laughed a little bit. Anthony and Seb nodded in understanding and kept looking at Penny.

“I’m happy for you, man. Seems like you both are really happy. How old is she?” Anthony walked into her line of sight and waved his fingers a bit, trying to get her attention.

“She turned one a couple of months ago.” You said and watched Penny pick her head up and look at Seb and Anthony, inspecting them a bit. Her big blue eyes landed on Sebastian and she stared him down before he gave her a small smile and waved at her. She was a little shy around new people and would usually bury her face in the neck of whoever was holding her.

To your surprise, she leaned away from Chris and moved her hands out to Sebastian. Everyone’s eyes widened as she whined a little bit when he didn’t reach out to grab her. Chris moved closer and told him it was okay and let Penny make herself comfortable in his arms. She buried herself into his neck much like she does with you and Chris, her tiny fists clutching his shirt. Her eyes shut immediately and let herself fall asleep in his arms.

The next few months went on more pleasantly than expected. Chris often had late-night shoots and training, leaving you with Penny most of the day. Anytime he knew he would be home late, he’d send Seb over with dinner or just an extra set of hands to help you with Penny. She knew you were her mama and Chris was her dada, then one day she had her Seba. Anytime you opened the door to let him in with her on your hip, she immediately squealed and started to chant ‘Seba! Seba!’ and didn’t stop until he was holding her.

Sebastian had brought up the idea of taking you to dinner one night to Chris. Even though you were a single adult who could make decisions on your own, he didn’t want to disrespect Chris at all. Chris never saw you as anything more than his best friend, it had always been like that. He was ecstatic when Sebastian brought up the idea of asking you out.

“I’m so serious, Seb. I think it’s a great idea. She talks about you a lot and really loves being around you. She’s going to say yes, I promise. Y/N hasn’t dated since we had Penny, mostly because she’s scared of what someone would think about her living with her childhood best friend who happens to be the father of her child.” Chris told him honestly. You weren’t interested in dating at all since having Penny. Mostly because being a mom was your first and only priority.

Sebastian let out the breath he was holding and ran his fingers through his hair, all of a sudden nervous about asking you to dinner. Chris clapped a hand around his shoulder and gave him a quick pep talk before sending him on his way.

The 2 years between wrapping Winter Soldier and starting Civil War had been interesting, to say the least. Everything Chris did kept him in the states for the most part. You and Penny were still trailing along with him, always loving the things you got to experience as a family.

Sebastian had found his place right in your crazy life. You had been unofficially together after wrapping Winter Soldier. He went off to do his next project and you and Chris spent some time in Boston with your families. You texted him most of the day, and he called at night to talk for a few hours before you went to sleep. He always said goodnight to Penny and she blew her Seba kisses through the phone.

He flew to Boston a bunch of times to see you, even if it was only for a few hours. You flew to wherever he was for a few days at a time, most of the time with Penny. Chris somehow managed to get you on the plane by yourself a few times and promised he would FaceTime every single night and would have hourly pictures sent.

On one of your first weekend trips out to see him, he refused to let you leave without making it official with you. He had you in tears at the end of his ‘I can’t spend another second without calling you my girlfriend’ speech. When he proposed to you he had said that the only thing better than the girlfriend speech was the one he was about to give. His ‘I can’t spend another second without calling you my wife’ speech knocked that one out of the water.

Neither of you wanted to make a big fuss about a wedding. You weren’t interested in the big white dress and the stressful bridesmaids and the whole cliche wedding things. Sebastian suggested getting eloped somewhere quiet with a handful of the most important people in your life. Chris’s mom, Lisa, had offered to hold the ceremony in her backyard. Knowing very well how spacious and beautiful it was, you and Seb graciously accepted her offer.

You kept your dress simple yet elegant, a beautiful white lace dress that ended mid-thigh, and complimented your body so perfectly. Seb kept it classy with a dark blue suit and light blue button-up that brought out his eyes, no tie, because who needs one?

Right at the end of the ceremony right as the officiant was about to have you say ‘i do’, you heard whines coming from Penny, who was sitting right up front on her daddy’s lap. You looked over to see her squirming in his lap and whining out ‘mama’ and reaching out for you. Chris made eye contact with you and mouthed ‘i’m sorry’. You shook your head and let go of one of Sebastian’s hands to motion to let her go so she could walk over to you.

Everyone aww’d as she walked over to you as quickly as her legs could take her. You bent down and scooped her up, resting her on your hip and wrapping your arm around her waist to keep her up. Sebastian made faces at her to make her laugh and keep her happy for a few more minutes. Your photographer had taken advantage of the incredibly sweet moment and had made sure to get as many shots of Penny at the altar with you.

When the officiant pronounced you husband and wife, you were going to set Penny down but Sebastian was quick to pull you both close to him and go in for your first kiss as a married couple with your daughter right there. Everyone cheered and Penny was mimicking the claps of everyone around her. Before he pulled away from you two he pressed two sloppy kisses on Penny’s cheeks as she giggled, which pulled some tears out of you.

No more than 15 people were attending the ceremony. You wanted to keep it quiet with just family and a few close friends. The reception, however, was anyone and everyone you could fit into the ballroom you had rented at one of the best hotels in Boston. All your guests had filled the room before you and Seb arrived. You nervously held his hand as you heard the cheers from everyone inside after hearing the DJ announce “Ladies, gentlemen, and nonbinary friends … let’s give it up for the couple of the hour, Mr. and Mrs. Sebastian Stan!!”

No one understood how you, Chris, and Seb managed to make your situation seem so easy and flawless. He knew that living in Boston was a must, so he bought the house that sits right behind the one you shared with Chris for so many years. He never wanted to get in the way of the system you and Chris had created over the years. Somehow, he managed to make things easier for everyone.

Penny’s first day of school was emotional for all 3 of you. You were all at your front door taking pictures of Penny in her school uniform that she looks so ridiculously cute in and the backpack that was way too big for her. She insisted on getting the Avengers backpack that “has my daddy on it!”

“Okay my love, it’s time for us to go to school! Are you ready?” Chris grabbed her tiny hand and led her to the car.

“Yeah daddy, I’m ready!” Penny said as he lifted her into the car and her car seat.

“Daddy? Mama and Sebbie coming too?” She asked him when he clicked the last buckle together. Right on cue Sebastian opened up the door to the free seat in the back and climbed in right next to her. She squealed in excitement at the sight of Sebastian buckling himself in the car.

Chris laughed at her genuine excitement and made sure all her fingers and toes were inside the car before shutting the door. He saw you lock the front door and make your way to the front seat. He noticed you put a few packs of tissues in your bag before setting it on the ground and buckling your seatbelt.

“Planning on crying today, Y/N?” Chris asked in a teasing tone. You swatted his arm lightly and scoffed at his question.

“Our baby is going to her first day of school, of course, I’m going to cry! I cried last night after I tucked her in, I cried in the shower this morning, I cried doing her hair.” You heard Seb talking enthusiastically to Penny, telling her about all the fun things she’ll get to do in kindergarten.

“It’s okay, I cried in the bathroom while she ate her waffles this morning.” You snorted at Chris’s confession and looked back at your baby girl, who was not a baby anymore. She was waving her hands around telling Seb about how excited she was to see her teacher again.

Chris and Sebastian watched from the car as you walked through the front doors of the school with Penny’s hand in yours. They had agreed that it might not have been a good idea to go in with her since they might get recognized and to avoid causing a ruckus. They both waved at her as she turned around and waved one more time before the door shut.

“Did you and Y/N ever think about having more kids together? If I hadn’t started dating her, do you think you would've had more?” Sebastian asked Chris.

“We never explicitly talked about it. She brought up wanting Penny to have lots of siblings not long after you started seeing each other. She felt guilty and thought that I was going to be upset about you and her maybe having kids one day, which meant I probably wouldn’t have anymore. I told her that this was honestly the best thing that could’ve happened because I don’t think I want any more of my own. Penny is all I ever wished and hoped for, and I got it. But since you’re together, she’ll get all the siblings she could ever want, and I won’t have to change a single diaper.” Chris nudged Seb’s shoulder with his. “You guys thinking about having one?”

“Yeah... Yeah, we are.” Sebastian lowered his head and smiled a bit. “With Penny in school and everything, it makes sense. She’s ready, I’m ready.” Seb sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He looked up and saw you walking back towards them with a tissue in your hand.

“I had the morning crying shift, it’s your turn.” Seb looked at Chris.

Just as Penny wrapped up her very first year in school, you and Sebastian welcomed Beverly Olivia Stan-Y/L/N into your family. Penelope had been so excited to hear that her mama finally had the baby she had been waiting so long for. You had gone into labor in the late afternoon and Beverly made her debut in the middle of the night.

Sebastian had called Chris an hour or so after to let him know that both you and the baby were doing phenomenally and that you were asking for Penny and wanted to see her as soon as you could. Chris chuckled at the demands you were making, knowing very well how the epidural and pain meds messed with you.

Early the next morning Penny had crawled into bed with Chris, crying for you and wanting to know when she was going to see you. It was still too early for them to go to the hospital, so he called Seb in hopes that he was already going to be awake.

A very exhausted Sebastian lit up the screen and Chris heard the soft cries of the new baby in the background. Penny’s cries turned into hiccups as soon as she saw Seb’s face because she knew she would be able to see her mama, too.

“Sebbie can I see mama, please?” Penny’s little voice spoke up. Sebastian immediately handed the phone to you and whispered that Penny was on the phone.

“Hi, baby.” You spoke softly to not disturb the baby.

“Mama when you come home? I miss you.” Penny wiped her eyes with her fists to get rid of the tears stuck in her eyelashes.

“It’s going to be a few days until I get to go home, baby. But you and daddy will be able to come to see me, Sebbie, and the new baby in a few hours. You need to go back to sleep and be a good girl for your daddy. I’m sure he’ll let you have some cuddles in his bed with him and Dodger until it’s time to wake up again.” Penny hiccuped and looked at Chris with eyes that mirrored his. He nodded his head and she buried herself closer to him.

“Okay, I go back to sleep with daddy and Dodger. I love you, mama. I love Sebbie, too.” She yawned out, her eyes blinking with sleep.

“Me and Sebbie love you so much, Penny. We’ll see you so soon, I promise” You blew a kiss to her through the screen and waited for her to throw one back. She giggled when you caught it through the camera and put it over your heart.

You, Sebastian, and Chris all watched with tears in your eyes as Penny held her baby sister for the first time. Penny had jumped right up in the bed next to you the second she walked into the room and told you about all the fun she had with Chris. Seeing your girls together melted your heart into a puddle. Chris couldn’t believe his little girl was so grown up and was a big sister. Seb thought about the night he first met you and Penny and would’ve never imagined that he’d be right here at this very moment.

Everything was so perfect and you never wanted to imagine your life being any different.

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atlafan · 3 years

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Burning Love - Part Two

a/n: here’s part two! The dang gif I’ve been using didn’t feel like showing up, but the yoga one actually works for this part, enjoy! Feedback and reblogs are helpful! Support me here if you’re able! (not proofread)

Warnings: cocky!Harry flirting, a whole mess of angst, mentions of blood, fluff, and smut!

Words: 5K

Pairing: Harry x OC (kindergarten teacher Danielle Robinson)

Masterpost

After his date with Danielle, Harry went out to grab a couple of drinks with his friends. This resulted in him going home with one of his usual hookups. He never claimed to be a saint. Shauna was a lovely woman, and usually down to fuck when Harry wanted it. She just happened to be at the same bar as him, and he wanted to make sure she got home alright.

He didn’t kiss her, though, at least not on the lips. He didn’t want to taint the nice kiss he had with Danielle. Harry was just looking to get off, and he didn’t feel like using his own hand tonight. Shauna was going to town, bouncing up and down on his dick, letting out sweet moans. Usually Harry would put a little more effort in, but he was almost disappointed. He’d rather be fucking Danielle. Well, he’d rather be having a nice conversation to her that would perhaps lead to some hot love making because he felt like that’s what she deserved, but still…Shauna just wasn’t doing it for him.

“Is it good for you?” She pants.

“Hm, yeah, keep going, I’m almost there.” He thrusts up into her and her head rolls back. She reaches to rub her own clit, and he spills into the condom. Once they’re both cleaned up, he gets dressed and sighs heavily. “Hey, uh, I don’t wanna be an ass or anything, but I think this is the last time I can do this with you.”

“Oh…um…can I ask why? Did I do something you didn’t like?”

“No, no, you were great.” He gives her hand a squeeze. “It’s just…I met someone, and I’d like to see where things go with her. I wouldn’t feel right if we kept doing this.”

“I get it.” Shauna swallows. “Well, thanks for letting me know.” She sighs.

“Thanks for understanding.” He pecks her cheek. “I’ll see you around.”

As Harry was driving home, he actually couldn’t believe that he fucked someone after going out on a perfectly lovely date with Danielle. He felt like scum, and he was glad he broke things off with Shauna. Harry could be classified as a kind playboy. He fucked, but he wasn’t in the business of breaking hearts. And maybe when he first met Danielle, he would have liked to just take her into her classroom closet and fuck her, but the more he saw of her over the week, he felt a fondness for her start to grow. He’s never really been a one-woman kind of guy, but there was something special about Danielle that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. If he were to ever settle down with someone, he would want to do it with a woman like her. So, he knew he needed to cut the shit, and cut off anyone else he didn’t want to potentially get serious with.

On Monday, between her groups, Danielle was just about to dive into her tuna pita pocket when she heard a knock on her door. She sighs and stands up, wondering who it could possibly be. When she opens the door her mouth falls open when she sees Harry.

“H-Harry, hi.”

“Hi.” He smiles. “Thought I’d pop in since I know this is when you’re usually having lunch. Is that alright?”

“Yeah, come in.” She steps aside and closes the door once he makes his way in. “Did you have a nice rest of your weekend?”

“I did, thanks.” He nods and then smirks when he sees her lunch on her desk. “I interrupted your lunch.”

“I was just about to eat, so you weren’t really interrupting anything.” She walks over to him. “This is a nice surprise.”

“Good, I’m glad you think so.” He wraps his arms around her and pulls her close to him, eliciting a surprised gasp from her.

She presses her hands to his chest as he kisses her. She lets him nibble and suck on her bottom lip again. She opens up a bit to get some air, and he takes this as an opportunity to lick into her mouth. He swirls his tongue around hers, and then goes back to biting her bottom lip before letting her go. She looks at him absolutely stunning.

“Um.” She takes a piece of gum out of her mouth. “I wasn’t chewing this before.”

“S’mine, sorry.” He opens his mouth and sticks out his tongue, and she places the gum back onto it. “Thanks.” He smiles. “Well, I’ll see you later.” He starts to walk away, but she grabs his wrist.

“Wait, is that all you came here for?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” She furrows her brows at that. “Was thinking about how nice it was kissing you the other night, and I really wanted to kiss you again, so I came here.” He reaches to tuck some hair behind her ear. “Is that okay?”

“Well…you could have texted me first. What if I had already started to eat my tuna? I would have been mortified.”

“Then I would have just let you keep my gum in your mouth.” He shrugs. “No big deal, love. Oh, I was also wondering how you’d feel if I came to one of your yoga classes on Friday.”

“You’d…really wanna do that?”

“Sure! I do yoga at home all the time. I meditate too, helps me unwind. I’d love to come to one of your classes, you know, help support. Then we could grab a drink or something afterwards…if you wanted.”

“Yeah! Sure, that sounds great. Um, let me give you one of my cards so you know where the studio is.” She rushes over to her purse and pulls out a card for him. “Here.”

“Thanks, so I’ll see you Friday?”

“Yeah.” She smiles. “I’m glad you came to visit.”

“Me too.” He pecks her lips and then heads out. Just once she’d like to not feel so flustered by him.

On Friday, Harry came to Danielle’s second class, which was at 5:15. He sets up in the back as to not make her nervous, but he still gives her a small wave. She waves back and a few of her friends give her a surprised look. Danielle notices that he’s wearing a long a sleeve tee. What in the actual fuck was so bad about a naked mermaid?

“Good evening everyone, we’re going to get started. Are there any particular areas you’re hoping to focus on?”

“Lower back!” Someone shouts.

“Arms!” Another person shouts.

Danielle gets her playlist ready, and begins the warm up. She has everyone reach above their heads, and then bend at the waist, breathing in and out slowly. The lights in the studio were dim, and the entire environment just felt extremely calm. Harry was enjoying it already. Danielle may have said she liked listening to Harry, but Harry liked listening to her just the same. Some of the yoga moves got more intricate as time went on, but no one minded. It made the cool down all the more rewarding.

“Now, I’d like you all to lay flat on your backs, close your eyes, and just focus on your breathing.” She says calmly and watches to make sure everyone does so. She sits down cross legged on her mat and closes her own eyes. “Let everything else drift away, nothing matters right now in this space.”

After about five minutes of meditation, the class ends, and everyone starts to pack up. Two of Danielle’s friends come up to her, and they share hushed giggles about the ‘cute guy in the back’.

“Shh, he’s coming over here.” She says to them. “Hi, Harry…these are my friends, Jen and Christine.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you both. “Sorry if I’m stealing Danielle from your girl’s night.”

“Oh, please, steal Dani all you want.” Jen laughs. “We can survive a Friday night without her.”

“Yeah, you two kids have fun.” Christine winks at Danielle and they both scoot out.

“Dani, huh?” Harry smirks.

“Sorry, you’re not privy to that nickname yet.” She smirks back at him.

He laughs and then leans in to speak closer to her ear.

“Challenge accepted.” He whispers and then steps back, grabbing both of their gym bags. “Do you need to go home first or anything?”

“No, I don’t usually break a sweat doing this.” She chuckles. “What bar did you want to go to? I can just follow you there.”

“You pick, it’s only fair since I picked the last spot.”

“Oh, well, have you ever been to Casey’s? That’s usually one of my go to’s.”

“Yeah, that place sounds familiar. Works for me.” He smiles and they both walk out to the parking lot.

Harry follows Danielle there, and then they both head inside, grabbing a high top to sit at.

“What’s your drink tonight?” He asks her.

“I’d love a vodka-tonic with lime, if you don’t mind.”

“Coming right up.” He says, kissing her cheek before heading up to the bar.

He had left his phone on the table, facing upwards. It wasn’t Danielle’s fault that when it lit up it caught her eyes. It also wasn’t really her fault that Harry didn’t have his texted on private, so she could clearly see what it said.

Shauna: H! Hey, I know you said you were sort of seeing someone, but I miss your cock, baby. I’m not gonna beg, but please consider stopping by tonight…I’ll let you put it in my ass, know how much you like that 😉

Danielle was shocked, to say the least. Although, Harry never explicitly said he was single. And the text from this Shauna person makes it seem like he wasn’t looking to see her anymore. Was Danielle the person he was seeing? It had only been a couple of weeks, he could be seeing a few different women. He liked to do anal…Danielle wasn’t sure if she was comfortable with that. She gets the sudden urge to stand up and leave, run out the door, block Harry’s number and pretend like they never met. But before she can do that, he’s back at the table with their drinks.

“Here you are.” He smiles as he places it down on the table.

“Thanks.” She says flatly. She notices that Harry just pockets his phone without even checking the text, and she scoffs slightly to herself as she takes a sip of her drink. “Your phone lit up while you were at the bar.”

“Oh? I’ll check it later, I don’t really like being on my phone when I’m on a date.” He grins.

“That’s very nice of you, but I really think you should check your phone.” Harry furrows his brows, but takes his phone out. His eyes widen when he looks at the text from Shauna, his mouth falls open, but Danielle speaks before he can. “I just happened to see it, I wasn’t prying. However, I feel really stupid. Here I was, thinking that I met this really sweet guy who’s a little flirty, but really wants to get to know me! You really had me fooled, Harry.” She laughs and takes another sip of her drink.

“Danielle, I’m so sorry you saw that text…Shauna’s just someone I was sort of hooking up with, but the last time I saw her I basically told her I didn’t want to see her anymore because I had met someone…you.”

“That would mean you saw her after our date last weekend, right? Surely you wouldn’t have said something after our first encounter.”

“I’m not gonna lie to you, I did see her after our date, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I didn’t even enjoy it. I…I just wanted you, Danielle.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? Less stupid?” She shakes her head. “Thanks for the drink, but I’m heading home.”

“Wait, please don’t go. You can’t get upset with me over this. If you hadn’t seen the text you wouldn’t have even known about Shauna.”

“Exactly! How many other women are you seeing? Are there other kindergarten teachers you’re trying to fuck? It’s not like my school is the only elementary school in town.”

“No, there’s no one else I’m currently seeing. I really like you, and I’d like to see where this goes.”

“Let me ask you something. If I had been the one to go to the bar, and you saw a text on my phone from some guy that said I could fuck him in the ass if I came over tonight, you’re telling me you wouldn’t be put off or upset?”

“I already told you, I don’t like playing the what if game.” Her face stays cold and stoic. “I don’t know, I’d be more surprised than anything that you were into pegging.”

“God, you can’t take anything seriously!”

“Oi, I resent that. My entire job is serious. I put my life at risk every day that I put my uniform on. I think you’re making a way bigger deal out of this than you need to. You should be happy that I told her to bugger off because I want to be with you.”

“Oh, I should?” Her eyebrows raise. She hops off the stool and grabs her purse. “I don’t like guys who don’t give a fuck about juggling multiple women, or what effects that has on those women. Shauna must still be hung up on you, or she wouldn’t have texted you, Harry. I don’t need to deal with your baggage.” She huffs.

“You’re seriously going to leave?”

“I don’t want to spend another second with you.” She spits. “You’re not who I thought you were, or who I hoped you’d be, and I’m incredibly disappointed.” She starts to walk out of the bar, and he gets up to follow her.

“Would you just hold on a second?!” He shouts over the loud music, but she doesn’t turn around to look at him. He follows her out to the parking lot, and she grabs her pepper spray. He stops shirt and puts his hands up.

“I’m not afraid to use this, alright?”

“Can you just explain to me why you’re so upset about this? I could understand if we had been seeing each other for a while, but we haven’t. Am I not allowed a bit of a buffer to tie up some loose ends?”

“Loose ends?” She makes a disgusted face. “Harry, I’m sorry, I can’t be with a womanizer.”

“I’m not! I’m very upfront with my intentions when it comes to women. I’ve never led a single one of them on. Shauna was a woman I was hooking up with a bit more regularly, sure, but when I spoke with her she said she understood. I was just as shocked as you were to see that text. I’m so sorry you saw it.”

“You haven’t been upfront with me.” She says lowly.

“What?”

“You just said that you’re upfront with the women you see.” She swallows, and lowers her pepper spray back into her purse. “You haven’t exactly spelled out your intentions with me, Harry. I mean, it’s clear you want to fuck me, but what else do you want from me, huh?” Her bottom lip starts to quiver. “I’ve been hurt badly in the past, and I’m not going to let it happen again.” A few tears trickle down her cheeks, and Harry completely deflates.

“Danielle…I…I’m so sorry.” He steps a little closer to her. “I’m really taken with you. I want to keep getting to know you, and date you, and see where it goes. I don’t want to do anything that’s going to hurt you. That’s why I cut things off with Shauna, I swear. I’m really interested in you. When we kissed for the first time in my car, I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I couldn’t stop thinking about when I’d get to do it again.” He was pleading with her now. He had never been so desperate to keep a woman around in his life.

Danielle sighs heavily. Maybe she was blowing things out of proportion, but that text really put a bad taste in her mouth. However, it’s not like Harry knew he was going to receive that text. If he had, he wouldn’t have just left his phone out like that. He would have been guarding it. He trusted her, and that was the light bulb she needed to go off.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” He says.

“I’ll give you a pass. I suppose it’s not your fault. I just hope you let her down as nicely as you’re saying.”

“I did, I swear I did.”

“Alright.” She nods.

“Would you come back inside?”

“No, I wanna go home.” She takes her keys out. “You can follow me there.”

“Really?”

“Yes…I owe you a second chance. I overreacted.”

“Hey, uh, if that set you off, like, your feelings are valid.” He assures her.

“I can explain more at my place, come on.”

Once they’re both at Danielle’s apartment, she gets them both set up with a cup of decaf before they both sit on the sofa.

“A few years ago…I found out my college sweetheart was cheating on me…because I happened upon a text on his phone. It was usually glued to him, but I had come over while he was in the shower, and…it was awful. I guess I was a little triggered before, even though I didn’t have the right to be.”

“Christ, that’s terrible. I’m so sorry.” He puts his hand over hers and gives it a squeeze. “How could anyone cheat on you, you’re so sweet and bubbly…and nice.”

“That was the problem. I was too nice. He didn’t think he’d ever get caught, and he told me that he didn’t think I’d actually leave him if he did.”

“Sounds like he was taking you for granted.” His eyebrows knit together. “That can really fuck a person up.”

“I haven’t really been involved with someone seriously since.”

“So…you haven’t-“

“I’ve had a few, brief hookups…a few date nights here and there, but I haven’t…I haven’t really wanted to let anyone in.” Her lip starts to quiver again. “And then I met you, and…it just felt so good to feel wanted and I freaked out when I saw that text because I thought this was going to end before it started.” She sniffles. “I’ve spent a lot of time putting myself back together, and it’s so fucking annoying that something so stupid could make me feel so lousy. I know you’re not my ex, but it’s hard not to think that…that-“

“Hey.” He caresses her cheek. “When I choose to focus on one person, I don’t go out looking for anyone else. I know I’ve only known you a couple of weeks, but I can’t imagine how someone could think they needed anyone else when they were lucky enough to have you.”

All of her features soften, and her suddenly frozen heart thaws for him once again. She tugs on the collar of her his shirt and crashes her mouth to his. For once, she’s the one to bite his bottom lip, and he hums appreciatively. Both of his hands cup her cheeks as the kiss deepens, their tongues molding together. She whimpers and moans into his mouth, he was such a good kisser.

“M’sick of being in these yoga clothes.” She breathes as he starts to kiss on her neck. She grips his hair and cranes her neck so he has access to more. “Do you wanna take a shower with me?”

“Are you serious?” He says as he pulls away to look at her.

“Yeah.” She nods and kisses him again. He quickly scoops her up, and throws her over his shoulder. “Harry!” She squeals.

“Which way to your bathroom?”

“Down the hall, through my bedroom.”

Harry finds his way through her apartment, and gets them both into the bathroom. He sets her down so she can start the water. In the meantime, he peels off his shirt, and lets it drop to the floor. Her eyes don’t know where to focus on first. He had so many tattoos.

“God, you’re so beautiful.” She says, and wraps her arms around his neck. His hands travel down to pull at the hem of her shirt, and he lifts it off, revealing her sports bra.

“So are you. Can I take this off?” He tugs at the straps of the bra.

“I’m certainly not planning on showering in it.”

He helps her take it off and his hands immediately move to cup her breasts. They sat a little lower on her frame, and were even larger than he anticipated, but they were hers so he liked them, a lot. He kisses down the column of her throat and down to her chest.

“The water’s probably warm enough now.” She grunts. “Need to get the rest of these clothes off.”

“Couldn’t agree with you more.”

They step back from each other so they can both take their pants off. Both of their eyes drift down for a split second before their bodies collide once more. They nearly trip as they get into the shower and under the warm water. Harry presses her against the wall as his tongue drags along her jaw and to her neck. Her head rolls back as her mouth falls open. He sucks a bruise into the crook of her neck and the gasp she makes fuels him to suck harder.

“Fuck.” She groans.

Harry licks his way down her chest, cupping her breasts so her can suck on one of her nipples. Her hands rake through his hair. He blindly reaches for her shower head and snatches it as he stands up straight.

“Wh-what are you doing?” She breathes as she watches him lower the showerhead, adjusting the setting on it so it sprays a specific way. He doesn’t say anything, he just presses the shower head to her pelvis and slides it over her clit. “Oh…oh!” She clutches at the tile on the wall as best she can. Her legs part just enough so he can maneuver the shower head easier.

He slots his mouth over hers and sucks on her tongue. She felt like she couldn’t breathe in the best possible way. The hand that wasn’t working the showerhead between her legs was planted on the wall next to her head. She couldn’t help but notice the veins in his arm and hand.

“H-Harry.” She licks her lips after he worked his mouth to her collar bone.

“Does it feel good?”

“Yes!” She mewls. Her hands move to his back, her nails clawing at his skin. “N-need more.” She wasn’t exactly sure what she needed more of, she just knew she needed it.

Before she knows it, he’s dropping to his knees, so he can see better, and thrusting two fingers up inside her. He focuses the showerhead on her clit, and her hands find their way to his hair. She tugs harshly, eliciting a moan from him and he looks up at her, pleading with her to do it again. His fingers curl up inside her and it has her panting.

“Oh, fuck! Just like that, oh my god!” She cries out as she comes to her release. He slowly stands back up and her eyes widen as he sucks his fingers into his mouth. He puts the showerhead back as well. She eyes flicker down to his hard, twitching cock. “I think we should get out.” She reaches to turn the water off. “You may be fine with getting on your knees in here,” she says as she grabs them both a towel, “but I much prefer the comfort of my bed.”

Once they’re both dried off, they drop their towels and get onto her bed. He lays back as she shifts between her legs. She rubs her hands up and down his thick thighs, tracing over his tiger tattoo.

“Do you ever, um, think I could see you in your uniform.” She says as she starts to pump him slowly.

“Got a little fantasy, do you?” He smirks.

“I wouldn’t mind watching you slide down that pole.” She smirks back, and then kisses his tip.

“Fuck, just, come up here.” He pats the tops of his thighs. “I need to fuck you before I explode.”

“Oh, yeah?” She licks up and down his shaft. “Wanna feel how tight and wet I am around you?” She bats her lashes up at him and he groans.

“Please.”

“Lay flat on your back.”

“You don’t want me to sit up?”

“No.” She shakes her head as she reaches into her side table for a condom. She rips open the foil packet and slides it onto him. She scoots up his body, that was now flat on the bed, takes his wrists and pins them above his head. She rocks herself back and forth on his cock until he slips inside her. They both moan out.

“Fuck, you like being in control, baby?” He says as he watches her get a rhythm going.

“Sometimes.” She comes almost all the way off of him and then slams back down. “I’m an educator, so I thought I’d teach you who’s boss here.” She leans down and kisses him before sitting all the way back up.

“A lesson I won’t soon forget, eh?”

“You have no idea.” She smirks. “Don’t thrust up into me.” She says as she lets his wrists go. “And keep your hands above your head.

“You’re not gonna let me touch you?”

“I let you get pretty handsy in the shower, count yourself lucky for that.”

She lets her hands fall behind her, planting on his thighs as she starts to bounce up and down on him. Once she feels like she won’t topple over, she lets her hands drag over her breasts, groping herself in front of him. He grunts and grits his teeth as he watches her.

“Like using my cock to get yourself off?”

“Yeah, how’s it feel?”

“You feel incredible, just wish I could-“

“I said don’t.” She warns him just as he was raising his hands, but he sets them back down on the pillows.

She plants both of her hands on his shoulders as she hovers over him. She rocks back and forth on his cock, rubbing her clit against him perfectly. She swivels her hips around on him in circles and she starts moaning.

“Danielle, please, you’re killing me.” Harry groans, sweat was starting to form at his hairline.

“Pretty sure you’re not supposed to address your teacher by their first name.” She says, ghosting her lips over his before kissing him. She moans into his mouth as she comes around him. She grinds against him a few more times, riding out her orgasm. “I know you can ask nicer than that.” She says, nibbling on his earlobe.

Harry was so fucking turned on. He never would have guessed that Danielle was a little kinky, but he was incredibly excited about it, so he plays along.

“Miss Robinson?”

“Yes?”

“May I please fuck you from behind and rearrange your guts?” He smiles at her sweetly.

“You may, but only because you asked so nicely.” She pecks his lips and gets off of him carefully. She gets on all four as he shuffles behind her. He gives her bum a little smack and she giggles.

Harry slides back inside her, a sigh of relief leaving him at the feeling of her warmth around him again. He grips the back of her neck to get a steady pace going. She drops her front half so her cheek is smushes against her pillows. She licks her finger tips and starts rubbing her clit.

“Harder.” She grunts, and he complies.

He gives her hard, deep, and fast thrusts which result in him hitting her g-spot over and over. It feels like an electric shock going through her body, and suddenly she’s seeing stars, coming around him once again. He spills into the condom shortly after due to the way she was squeezing him. She was still moaning even after he pulled out.

“Yeh liked that, huh?” He gives her bum a soothing pat before getting off the bed.

“It was so good.” She mewls as she rolls onto her back.

As Harry goes into the light of the bathroom, he furrows his brows as he takes the condom off. He notices a slight shade of pink on the rubber. He didn’t want to embarrass her, but he wonders if she started her period without realizing it. He picks up his boxers off the bathroom floor and wiggles them up his legs.

“Hey…Danielle?” She hums her response. He thought she looked like an angel, laying peacefully with her eyes closed. He sits on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on her thigh. “Babe, I don’t wanna embarrass you or anything, but I think you started your period?”

“What?” Her eyes open and she sits up. “That’s impossible, I had it last week. What makes you think I started it?”

“The condom was a little pink.”

Her face goes pale, and she licks her lips in thought.

“Excuse me.” She gets up, wrapping one of her blankets around herself as she goes into the bathroom. She sits on the toilet to pee. It doesn’t sting or hurt, but when she checks the toilet paper, she rolls her eyes when she sees the light pink color. It wasn’t period blood. She sighs and flushes the toilet, washing her hands before returning to the bedroom, and sitting next to Harry on the bed. “It, um, it’s not period blood. I…I think I tore a little. You fucked me pretty hard.”

“Why didn’t you tell me I was hurting you?! I would have slowed down or stopped; I feel terrible.”

“Don’t!” She shakes her head. “It didn’t hurt, it doesn’t even hurt now. It’s just been a little while for me, and you’re, um, bigger than I’m used to, and you fucked me hard. I wanted it that way, I’m not upset. It felt really, really good.” She gives him a soft smile. “Sorry if you’re grossed out…”

“I’m not, I just wanna make sure you’re alright.”

“I am…I’m really glad we did that.”

“Me too.” He leans in and kisses her tenderly. “Kinda wanna spend the night with you, would that be okay?”

“How are you at making breakfast?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“M’aces at making pancakes.” He says with a bright smile. “Do you like pancakes, love?”

She nods her head yes, wrapping her arms around him and giving him quick kisses on his cheek. Did she have sex with him a little faster than she intended? Yes, but it was worth it. She felt incredibly close with him, and she couldn’t wait to see where things were going to go with Chief Styles.

#burning love #harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles series #firefighter!Harry #firefighterry

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imnotusedtobeingloved · 3 years

Text

EQUALLY LUCKY

(PLEASE DON’T REBLOG!)

Warnings: Internal conflict / Mental struggles.

Pairing: Azula x f!Reader

Characters: Azula, Zuko, Izumi.

Requested: Yes!

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, nor the gif. Credit to the owners.

Summary: You get a glimpse into Azula’s life years after Sozin’s Comet, with you by her side.

A/N: This was my first time making an x reader with Azula, so i’m very nervous to post this lol. It got way more angsty than i intended it to be, but i also wanted to try and stay true to Zula’s character to some extent. And i very much hope i did. Thank you for the great request @the-desert-shewolf i hope this is what you were looking for.

“Zuzu, you don’t look so good!”

The last Agni Kai. It was a day that was forever branded into your mind. You could still remember the heat of her flames. How her patient, strategic mind slipped into a rash and impulsive demeanor. She’d fataly wounded her own brother. Ready to do the same to Katara, if she hadn’t stopped her. And that was when you’d found her. Chained to a grid on the floor like an animal, crying in despair and spitting fire like a dragon. Nobody dared to go near her for hours. Nobody but you. “You need to stop, Azula,” You’d cried tears of your own as you forcefully hugged her, body winding against yours. Still trying to free herself. Still trying to fight. Still trying to win. “Please... I’m begging you...” Her whimper broke your heart. You were all that she had left.

There were times when not even a heartfelt “I love you,” could save her. Instead it was interpreted as a further manipulation through her mother. The so called ‘Puppetmaster’. She felt so far out of reach.

But not all days were bad. Sometimes Azula remembered. In the bright hours she recalled your supportive actions and words. You always hoped they would give her some kind of strength. And it wasn’t any easier to face those hardships yourself. To love someone who was hurt so very deeply.

“Being damaged doesn’t give you the right to abuse others,”

A lot of people called her crazy. Called you crazy for feeling affection towards the princess. But what were you supposed to do? You couldn’t just ignore them. Or turn them off. It wasn’t possible. It wasn’t what you wanted. All you were trying to do was to care for a person you’d known since you were a kid. A childhood friend, teenage crush and an adult lover. Where Zuko had been saved by Iroh, Azula had been saved by you. But it wasn’t quite the same. You'd just been a little kid yourself at the time.

“Are you going to see Azula?” You nodded, smiling at Zuko over your shoulder. The robes of the Fire Lord really suited him. “I am. I want to surprise her with a picnic,” He raised a brow, curiously leaning over the little basket on the table before you. You’d spent hours picking out different kinds of tarts and snacks, trying not to get in the way of the cooks.

It was a perfect summer day. The climate was warm and mild. Your timing couldn’t have been better.

Years had passed since Sozin’s Comet occured. Years full of anxiety and anger. But finally you’d arrived in a part of your life, where things were looking up again. The time spend supporting Zuko as the Fire Lord hadn’t been wasted. Both of you worked together on a daily basis. Especially when it came to his sister. Despite everything she had done, he couldn’t deny that he held a soft spot for her. So it was no wonder that she resided in one of the finest suites of the palace. After being monitored and treated for ages, her mental heatlh finally regained stability.

“She’s lucky to have you, (Y/N),” He said, attempting to steal one of the tarts only to earn a slap on the hand. Grumbling he retreated, watching as you checked the contents again, before closing the lid. “Maybe,” You turned around to face your friend. “But i’d like to think we’re equally lucky,”

Your picnic was set up in the gardens, by the fountain, under the old apple tree.

Her whole life Azula only gained approval from two people. Her father and you. The few moments of empathy she experienced were supported by you. If she had a nightmare late at night, you’d crawl into bed with her. When you reduced the choice between you two to physical affection, Ozai couldn’t keep up with you. The mixed messages her parents gave her as a child were what lead her into misery. But her best friend, someone of the same age, stuck by her.

Eventually you’d won her over. Relationships were rekindled. Needs were met.

And right this moment, you were beyond glad that you had. “There you are, sugarplum,” An involuntary grin spread on your face. You’d been so busy with displaying everything perfectly that you hadn’t heard her come up behind you. “I see you haven’t grown tired of the petnames,” That nickname would truly stick with you for life. She’d once used it mockingly, back when you visited Ember Island. And she did ever since. It was always used with an edge of sarcasm, but never empty of love.

“You wouldn’t have it any other way, would you (Y/N)?” You turned around to her, reaching for one of her hands. Her fingers intwined themselves with yours. “Of course not, Azula,” Pulling her towards your little arrangement, you sat down on the blanket, leaning against the strong stem of the tree and patting the spot beside you.

Since her recovery she’d formed a habit of over-sharing her feelings and often apologizing more than nessecary. Those were new sides that you had to grow accustomed to, but that weren’t unwelcome. Nevertheless you were relieved that she also kept some of her wit. She knew she could be free with you. Didn’t need to fear any jugdement. Some days were harder than others. On those Azula would cry a lot. And so would you. You couldn’t stand seeing her so broken.

“Keep it together, (Y/N),” She would say at first, making you laugh through your tears. “It’s okay,” You’d reassure her time and time again. “Healing takes time,”

It was hard to face all those bottled up emotions after such an amout of time. It wasn’t her favorite way to deal with things at first, but she quickly found it helped. And it didn’t take long for her to tell you.

“Sharing your tears doesn’t make you weak,” She’d repeat your words in her darkest times. It brought her comfort. Kept her from going back to her old ways.

The princess moved to sit in the spot next to you, but she never made it that far. Small feet rushed through the grass, running straight into her legs. A tiny, little person curled around them, hugging her as far as she could reach. “Zula!” They squeaked.

The so-called ‘Zula’ raised a brow and crossed her arms, looking down at the little troublemaker. “What do you think you’re doing here?” The girl only lifted her hands in response. You stiffled a smile as Azula picked her up. “Where is your father? Didn’t he want to spend time with you?” Yes he did. And he arrived right on time. “Izumi?” Zuko looked around, searching for her, until he spotted you. The princess was snuggling into her aunt’s chest, a place that always felt warm. You knew it best. “There you are!” His sister raised a brow, tapping her foot on the ground, when he walked up to the three of you. When they stood next to each other, the family-resemblance was undeniable. They shared the same shade of amber eyes, the soft umber strands, and the fair, spotless skin.

It was another person that had helped Azula on her journey. Izumi.

The girl got to experience the childhood the siblings never had. She was proof that princesses didn’t have to be perfect all the time. Nobody did. And she loved her aunt without any doubt or fear.

“You really need to keep better watch on her, Zuzu. This is already the fifth time this has happened,” The Fire Lord nodded, holding his hands out. “Of course. It won’t happen again, i promise,” Azula tried handing her niece over, who whined, clinging to her neck. “But i mean, now that we’re already here, we could also just join you on your picnic,” He argued, pointing to his daughter who held onto Azula’s clothes with all her might. “Izumi seems to like the idea,” You squinted your eyes at him. This was definetely not a coincedence. Accidents don’t repeat themselves that often. “Admit it, Zuko. You’ve purposefully told Izumi that her aunt is here, only so you could get your clutches on our food again!” You’d connected the dots and read the situation. He’d taken a glimpse into your basket every time before you went out the past times. Particular interest always occured when it contained those delicous fruit tarts. With rose pedals on top. He gasped. “No, i didn’t!”

“He’s lying,” Azula said, rolling her eyes. Izumi proceeded to tell her father that “Lying is bad!” which earned her a gentle pat on the head from her aunt.

Nevertheless they swayed you to share some of the ‘goodies’ as Izumi liked to call them. Finally you had Azula were she belonged. Next to you. Her niece sat in her lap, munching happily as your lover ran her hand through her hair. It had taken some time until she’d been allowed to see Izumi at first. Zuko and her mother hadn’t let them meet each other until his sister was completely stabile. Additionally he didn’t want to put Azula through something she couldn’t handle at the time. Their first meeting had been nervewracking for everyone who watched, but an eye-opening event for the two princesses. They seemed comfortable. Content with each other. Sometimes Azula would act as if Izumi bothered her. But she couldn’t deny that she was fond of the girl.

It was also no secret that Azula was clearly the ‘coolest aunt’. At least from Izumi’s perspective. She looked up to her as the strongest female firebender, to be known. Of course she was still too young to fight. But that didn’t stop her from constantly begging the siblings for stories. “Can you tell me a story?” She’d ask, making a pout. “I’ve told you stories countless times,” Her aunt replied, booping her upturned nose. “Another one, pleeease?” Azula sighed. Zuko chimed in, coming to her aid. He started telling the tale of the ‘Dance of Dragons’ in great detail, paying no mind to his sisters sarcastic comments interrupting the tale. Izumi was exstatic about both of them engaging in the narrative. When the story was completed, he beamed at Azula. “Remember when mother used to take us to watch the Ember Island Players perform this play? Afterwards you and i would reenact every scene. I don’t get why i always had to be the dark water spirit, tough,” His sister scoffed, not hiding her gleefull smirk. “Clearly, i made a better dragon emperor,” Her niece laughed at their antics, clapping her little hands. You could comprehend her joy. It was hilarious to have them both participate.

Unfortunatly, Izumi couldn’t escape her duties forever. “Bye, auntie Zula! Bye auntie (Y/N)!” She waved when Zuko carried her back inside. Upon her loopsided smile, Azula couldn’t help but grin, waving back. It wasn’t a sneer or a grimace. It was a genuine expression of so much beauty, that it took your breath away. When she turned back to face you, she furrowed her brows. “Why are you looking at me like that?” There were a ton of reasons. You didn’t even know were to start. So your delight had to be expressed differently. Her lips weren’t far from yours. It took a mere second to connect them. They were soft, as always. She tasted sweet, like the pastries she’d eaten before. “You’re my everything,” you mumbled, her lips still brushing yours. You see her eyes watering as she struggled to speak her next words. They reminded her of all that she’d endured. And yet you’re important enough for her to pull through. “I love you, (Y/N),”

A moment later the tears were replaced by a smile. Her hands came to rest on your cheeks, one of her thumbs running over your bottom lip, removing the lipstick hers had left. You yelped as she abruptly grabbed your shoulders, pulling you to rest your head in her lap.

She worked to untangle your locks, massaging your scalp in the process. Her nails lightly scraped your skin every so often. It felt relaxing. Heavenly. The smell of smoke and leather teased your senses. Something so familiar that it was like home. You allowed yourself to close your eyes for a moment, being at peace with just... feeling her. Being in her presence.

“Agni, you look just as self satisfied as my niece,” She playfully remarked.

The slight breeze made the leaves rustle softly. “Why wouldn’t i?” You chuckled, slowly opening your eyes to look up at her. Her slim fingers hadn’t stopped spoiling you. She looked stunning in the midday sun. Her eyes glowed like molten gold, framed by long, dark lashes, casting shadows on her cheeks. “I’m being pampered by the princess herself. I consider myself to be very lucky,” Her lips pulled into a smile as she caught your gaze.

“You’re right, (Y/N). We are lucky,”

Because everything you did for her, she would return tenfold.

Despite all the hardships, neglect and abuse she’d suffered, Azula had managed to get out on the other side.

Stronger, and better than ever.

Reconnected to the world around her, she remained one of the most powerful fire benders. Her blue flames offering protection wherever you’d go.

When she’d first felt affection towards you, she thought you were her weakness.

Now she knew you were her strength.

#azula x reader #azula redemption #azula avatar #azula x you

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fiadhaisteach · 2 years

Text

I posted 5,474 times in 2021

280 posts created (5%)

5194 posts reblogged (95%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 18.6 posts.

I added 11,112 tags in 2021

#rifts in the queue - 3405 posts

#artist appreciation - 2034 posts

#aisteach reads - 1057 posts

#aisteach recommends - 1047 posts

#solavellan - 997 posts

#writer appreciation - 909 posts

#solas - 787 posts

#💖 💖 💖 - 378 posts

#read this - 315 posts

#aisteach posts - 183 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i'm always grateful for any words that were shared‚ even if the story wasn't finished‚ because fanfic is the only genre where i can see wips

My Top Posts in 2021

WIP Wednesday

Thank you all for the tags over the week, @emerald-amidst-gold, @little-lightning-lavellan, @noire-pandora, @oxygenforthewicked

Have I finished my reorganization? *shifty eyes* No, but! See... *shuffles feet* I got distracted by the shiny dopamine and... well... I’m still working on it. 😝 Have some more orb WIP!

I'm working on how to display it... and this is still definitely a rough/1st draft, though the only one that will weigh this much (2.52 lb. / 1.14 kg)... and yeah, I've got plans for at least one more (I want to be able to make a mold of it so I can also make bookends) and already have an aluminum foil core ready.

tagging @himluv @psalacanthea @iarollane @crown-laurel @nightshade-blues @dreadfutures @crackinglamb @ir0n-angel

94 notes • Posted 2021-10-27 14:22:03 GMT

... have you seen...?

109 notes • Posted 2021-06-28 01:47:40 GMT

I know "they” say “the DA fandom is dying” because it’s been so long since the last game was released but... y’all... Y’all are putting out so much great fanart and fanfic and screenshots and fanvids and the volume is simply astounding.

I read fast... I read A LOT... and I can’t keep up with just the Solasmancing side of the fandom.

I think “they” are full of shit.

156 notes • Posted 2021-10-22 16:50:21 GMT

On Commenting

I used to be one of those readers who just left Kudos on fics and very, VERY rarely commented.

Then, because of some of the posts I’ve seen here (and on Twitter), I started trying to at least leave a heart, or other, emoji comment on chapter updates for fics I subscribe to; sometimes using gifs, occasionally leaving longer comments, and commenting on one-shots.

I'm still mostly at that point but, thinking about those posts more, I am starting to try to leave comments on multi-chapter fics as I go (struggling, but trying); even if some of the chapter comments I leave are “just heart emojis,” when my spoons are low or I have no words (I’m not usually good with words). The feedback from writers has been, honestly, both heartwarming & heartbreaking.

Fanfic writers, of every caliber, are sharing a gift with us every time they post. And they are so appreciative of, what feels to me like, tiny crumbs of feedback. It blows my mind a little.

I mean, long comments filled with “I loved x” or “that phrasing there was so amazing” or “so and so tied back to y chapters and xyz and I can’t believe...” have got to be even better to receive, so if you can do that... please do.

But I’ve seen, firsthand, that even tiny, consistent, comments can make a big impact on someone’s day.

So toss a heart to your writers.

If you’re reading on your phone/tablet, emojis are on your keyboard. If you’re on a PC, you can insert a ♥ heart by holding down the Alt button and the 3 on the NumPad, on a Mac it’s Option and 2661. Or you can keep a tab open to Emojipedia and their thousands of emojis.

344 notes • Posted 2021-08-21 21:16:40 GMT

Has "the veil is a thong" not made it to Tumblr yet?

355 notes • Posted 2021-10-25 02:34:50 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post #aisteach trivia #aisteach posts

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wordynerdygurl · 3 years

Text

A Wonderful Christmastime

Author’s Note: Well Hello All! I hope that you’re all taking care of yourselves and staying well! My tag-list is open and you know I love the validation of reblogs, shares, tags and adds!! I have been working on a larger OC story which has kept my from my Loki writings, but I entered a challenge posted by @toomanystoriessolittletime for the Christmas holiday. If you aren’t following, please do as she’s got a great little Advent Calendar of seasonal stories for you! One a day through the month of December!

I chose a prompt based off of my least favorite Christmas song. Ever. Like in the history of humanity. Like, my family torture me with it because of how much I dislike it. This story is a chance to take a little lighthearted revenge on Sir Paul McCartney and also, hopefully, help you all enjoy a Wonderful Christmastime! Also, isn’t this gif the cutest thing in the world? My thanks to the OP and creator for it... it’s amazing and I love Christmas Loki!! Pairing: Female Reader x Loki

Summary: Everyone has a favorite holiday song... when Loki learns which one you dislike, he uses it to his advantage. Warnings: Christmas holiday mentions, SMUT, Oral (F receiving) and MF Sex, also, the over use of a certain song that makes me, personally, crazy!

This was it. That perfect moment when all of the holiday hustle was behind you. Nothing to buy, nothing to ship, nothing to wrap, nothing to bake. It was all over. You had made it through another Christmas Eve.

Your well decorated tree sat in the corner, presents tucked below for you and Loki in the morning. The frittata was resting in the fridge along with the two bottles of Prosecco you planned to have with brunch. Hell, it was the holidays, after all.

But that was for tomorrow.

Tonight you were relaxing after an afternoon of family Christmas fun. Nieces and nephews, piles of shredded paper, stacks of snacks and so much laughter your belly muscles were sore. And through it all Loki had been a champ! Holding your hand, rubbing the small of your back, pulling out your chair; Loki had put the other partners to shame. Whether he was telling bawdy but tasteful jokes to the men who drank cheap beer around the TV, sharing hair care tips with your sister’s oldest girl or whispering with your mom in the kitchen, he was always where he needed to be. For the first time in ages, you had been able to enjoy the day fully, and you knew Loki was the reason why. After getting home, trading your dress and boots for comfy shorts and a sweatshirt, you padded into the living room. Loki was there, sitting cross legged, digging through your bag of swag. He had put seasonal music on in the background while munching through a plate of Auntie’s sugar cookies, two well poured goblets of red wine waiting to be had at his side. God, he was good. “Is one of those for me?” You couldn’t help smiling. Loki, looking like a little kid, over excited and surrounded by all the trapping of Christmas just felt so precious. It took him a moment to reply as he was solely focused on the handmade puzzle box your mother had crafted for all the guys this year, “Hmm? Yes… one’s for you…” Kissing the top of his head, careful not to dislodge his Rudolf blinking antler headband, a gift to Loki from your youngest nephew, you moved towards the couch. Sipping from your glass of wine, snuggled under the softest chenille blanket your sister-in-law could find, you sighed contentedly. Victory over the holiday season felt amazing. Now all that was left on your to-do list was eating, drinking, and enjoying alone time with Loki until New Year’s. Suddenly exhausted, you felt the lovely warm drag of drowsiness and snuggled deeper into the sofa. Shuttering your tired eyes, you listened as Loki stood up, off to hunt up some more food, no doubt. Visions of sugarplums danced in your head as you started to succumb to a sweet slumber. That’s when you heard it.

“The moon is right, The spirit’s up, We’re here tonight and that’s enough…” Groaning, wide awake now, you sat up with a shout, “Loki?!” Like magic his raven head popped around the doorframe, his reindeer antlers askew, a candy cane hanging out of his mouth, “Yes?”

“Um… question: What are we listening to?” Stepping back into the living room, his new holiday flannel shirt open at the neck, Loki leaned over you, husking playfully, “Music. At least, that’s what I believe you Midgardians call it.” “Ha ha. Yes, I know it’s music, but this particular song?” You couldn’t keep the tartness from your tone as you pressed your nose into the handsome one on Loki’s face. Pausing, listening intently, Loki cocked his head to the side. Singing along, his bells jingling, “Simply having a Wonderful Christmastime!” “Ugh. That’s what I was afraid of!” Flinging a hand over your eyes, you grumbled, burrowing back into the cozy couch as a means of blocking out the obnoxious noise of the worst holiday song in the history of humanity. Making himself comfortable at your feet, pouring himself another glass of vino, “I like it. It’s simple. Direct. What are you doing? Me? I’m simply having a wonderful Christmastime!” From deep in the cushions, muffled but forceful, you pleaded, “Make it stop! Please!” “What for? It is still Christmastime, is it not? And we are enjoying a wonderful time, aren’t we?” Turning back to face him, a Scrooge-like scowl on your suddenly serious face, “I’ll do anything to get you to turn that off.” That got his attention, “Anything?” Sitting up quickly, you reached for your blanket only to feel Loki snatching it out of your grasp, “You said anything, darling.” Tugging on the plush fabric, practically pouting, “You’re not going to take my new fluffy blankie, are you?” “Oh no. That’s not nearly enough to stop me from playing my favorite Christmas carol.”

“It’s your favorite, now? Loki, you just heard it.” Waving your gripes away, pinning you under his arms and under your blanket, “I love it. It’s my favorite. You can’t mess with perfection.”

You wiggled, trying to free an arm or a hand, anything to help defend yourself from Loki’s soft, but effective attack, "Perfection? Loki, it's awful."

"I disagree. But…” Brushing a gentle kiss to your captive lips, making you melt into his warm touch, Loki made sure to keep you immobile. Unraveling under his ardent attention, you gave up fighting, focusing on Loki’s roving hands through the protective layer of your new throw.

Lost in his lips, you ignored the wretched recording still spinning, until sitting back with a sly smile Loki continued, “Regardless of my newly acquired antlers, I am a reasonable man. I'm willing to hear your side of things. Convince me, dove."

Looking up at him through your lashes, licking over your bottom lip that tasted of Loki's peppermint, it took you a moment to refocus on your argument. Sighing doggedly, “It’s just garbage. Too sweet, too synth-pop. It’s plastic. There’s no substance to it.”

At least Loki did you the service of considering your answer. He paused, listening to the offending tune, starting to hum along once more. “I don’t know. It sounds like church bells ringing. And I like when the kids start singing!”

“You couldn't. Those are two of the worst things about it! There’s not a single redeemable factor in it’s trite, super saccharine, four minute run time.” Agitated now and edging into anger, your voice kept rising, spurned on by the inability to get away from Loki’s plush prison, “Also, get off me!” “Can’t do it. But-” nuzzling into your neck, tasting along the tendon there, “-I can replay this song.” “That’s it!” Fury tinted your words as you tried harder than ever to break free of your fleece prison but Loki was brick heavy, unmovable, and impossibly giddy at your predicament. All things which only added fuel to your fire. Wriggling like mad, struggling to kick a foot free, you squirmed desperately for leverage. His response? A deep chuckle, “Is that all you’ve got, darling?” Laying those long, lanky bones on top of you, holding down the throw’s corners in a way that made fighting futile, Loki smirked at your distress, “I still don’t see why you hate it so much. It is a simple song because we’re simply having a wonderful Christmastime! It’s in the title after all.” With cheeks hot from exertion, fully frustrated and forced to listen to Paul McCartney’s bland holiday ballad start a second time, you nearly shrieked, "I hate it, Loki! Loathe it, really! The lyrics are basic, the keyboard is tinny, and Sir Paul is better than that!” “Is that all?” “No! It's even worse when someone else sings it, like those kids from Glee or an up and coming Country artist making their first holiday record!"

Beneath the blanket your chest rose and fell with bothered breaths. From rubbing against the couch your hair stuck up in odd angles and you could feel heat rising off your neck. How had you gone from almost asleep to a blanket related battle royale? Loki, taking advantage of your confinement, kissed your forehead sweetly, and the change in tactic caught you off guard. His lips grazed the tip of your nose as you huffed out a pout, eager to see where his mischief making would lead. Pressing his forehead to yours, that deep sonorous voice whispering lowly for your ears alone, "Not a compelling enough argument for me to turn it off, I'm afraid." And to your holiday horror the song in question started again. Grousing, "Don’t play it again! Please! I’m begging you!” “Already begging darling?” Thick with mocking, Loki slotted himself between your thighs, keeping you from fighting back with any power. Whining full out now, poking out your bottom lip, “Come on! Please, let me up and turn this off!” “Why, of course, my pearl.” With no effort on his part, Loki scooped you up, blankie and all, pulling you tightly to his chest. Gripping your bottom, his fingers firm through the cotton of your pj pants, he squeezed hard enough for you to yelp. “Hey!” But that’s all you managed before his talented tongue invaded your mouth. Now the only thing you could hear was the shaky exhale of your shared sighs and your own needy mewls when Loki started to withdraw.

Godly hands drew your thick and comfy sweatshirt over your head, leaving you bare against the cuddly softness of your new blanket, a perfect dichotomy to the heated hardness of Loki’s chest. With your arms finally free you tangled your hands in the long tresses of your lover, distracted from the awful music by his groan, “Easy darling.” But now that the tables were tipped in your favor, you had no intention of going easy on Loki. Not after his antics tonight, not a chance. Tugging hard enough for him to wince, you ground against his lap with a nip to his neck, “Turn it off then.”

“Now, why would I do that? Aren’t we still enjoying a Wonderful Christmastime?” Bouncing in his lap, purposefully teasing your mischief maker with a smirk, “We were until you let this terrible song play!” Laughing heartily, Loki stroked over your bare shoulder, one hand resting on your waist and the other cupping your cheek. “If I wanted to, my darling, I could change your mind. I could make you adore this song.” “Is that so, Odinson? I doubt it.”

“Doubt me? On this, Christmas Eve! When you know the feelin’s here that only comes once a year?” A confident nod was all he got for an answer. In a flash you were laying on the soft rug, your legs wrapped over Loki’s and your new blanket tossed to the side. Fiery kisses to your chest and neck led him to the shell of your ear where he hummed hungrily, “The moon is right, the spirits up…” Enjoying his mouth but not his music, you shoved against his shoulders, panting, “Don’t sing, just kiss me.” Licking into your mouth, Loki’s tongue obliged your need as his hands skated over the curve of your hip, breaking your kiss to croon, “We’re here tonight, dove… and that’s enough.”

“Loki… please stop…” You fisted his shirt, pulling at the buttons until his muscular torso was under your fingers, strong and solid. Pushing the plaid cotton off his shoulders, you let your nails drag over Loki’s naked back as you shifted your hips, subtlety be damned. He took the hint. Nipping a trail over your tummy, Loki kept his eyes on yours as he shucked your shorts, snorting, “No panties? Naughty!” “If that’s naughty, Loki, then what you’re doing to me is positively evil.” That made your lover grin, his eyebrows lifting in a wickedly Grinchy smile before caressing the inner skin of your thigh with his clever mouth. Slithering closer to your center, sweeping his tongue in swirls, you couldn’t help the excited shiver he created. It was enough to block out the terrible song now that you had something more arousing to hold your attention. Using those long, deft fingers, Loki parted your folds with a murmured moan, “You’re so wet, darling. Maybe you like this song more than you let on?” A curse for him and his rotten taste in Christmas music died in your throat as Loki connected to your sacred skin through a carnal kiss. Those strong forearms ensured that your knees stayed open wide as his tongue tasted, teasing your clenching cleft, humming with appreciation at your body’s response. Circling your clit, sucking gently before changing direction and licking your lower lips once more, Loki had you teetering on the cliff of climax in minutes.

Your stomach tensed, ready for release. Delicious waves of orgasmic bliss were pulsing through you, needing just a touch more friction, a little more pressure in order to crash over you. Gasping out incoherent whimpers, fingers ruffling Loki’s dark hair, you can’t fight the neediness that he’s created in you. It just feels so incredible, something Loki knows you’re enjoying, “Like that, darling?” Passion clouds your vision as your desire crests, unfulfilled, “You know I do, Loki…” Fingers slide sensually through your slit, his bright eyes on you, “How much? How much do you like it?” Shaking your head, still foggy with needs unmet, “So much, baby. I love making love to you so much.” Bumping against your swollen bud, pressing down firmly, Loki begins using his hands to entice you towards ecstasy. Two fingers enter you easily, delightful, sure, but not as filling as Loki’s hard member. Reaching for him, you want to lose yourself in loving and being loved by your space god, “Sing for me, dove.” Beseeching you breathlessly, Loki’s hand stills, keeping you at the fringe of falling apart. Waiting for your reply impatiently he asks again, “Sing, please.” “A song?” His reply is a shake of his dark head. Slowly, smoothly, Loki withdraws his fingers, only to press them into your yielding flesh once more, “Yes, my darling. Sing my favorite song!”

Sucking a bruise onto your inner thigh, those fingers of his spreading your walls, the exquisite pressure on your straining clitoris. Any one of these distractions would have been hard to concentrate through. Experiencing them all together? Overwhelming.

And that’s the excuse you would use to explain what happened next. “The party’s on… The feeling’s here…” As soon as the words left your lips, Loki’s attention resumed in earnest, “That’s it, dove! Keep going!” “That only comes, this time of year… Ah! Loki!” Loki watched you lustily. Your eyes half closed, legs splayed lewdly, a nervous grin on your face. He never wanted you more. Slipping out of his jeans, wasting no time, Loki guided his hardened cock into you with a satisfying sigh. Your response to his abundance? “Oh shit, Loki! Yes!” Snapping his hips against your pelvis, iron banded arms clinging to you, Loki stuttered, “I don’t hear you singing!” “We’re simply having a Wonderful Christmastime!” How many times did you repeat the chorus? Hard to say. It became a mantra. A thing to chant in time with everyone of Loki’s deliberate and deep thrusts. This time, when you felt the familiar stirring of your satisfaction, Loki didn’t stop you. Encouraging you with a soulful kiss, his stroke surging in time with Paul McCartney’s crooning, you came apart in each other’s arms with a smile. The song started again and you couldn’t stop the giggles from bursting out of you, “What’s so funny, dove?” “You said you could make me like this terrible, horrible, awful song.” Sitting up and taking you with him, Loki chuckled as he kissed your hand, “Hey, don’t make fun of the best holiday song I have ever heard.” Pulling your new blanket around the both of you, “I still hate it, but-”

“But?”, his eyebrow arched in surprise, waiting for you to continue.

“But I don’t hate it as much.” Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, playfully ribbing you, “Do I have to force you into having another Wonderful Christmastime?” Biting your bottom lip, you returned the favor by sweeping a stray lock of Loki’s black hair over his shoulder, “Babe, you could make crazy, insane love to me each day and every night… and-” “And?” Kissing Loki lightly on the nose, you stood up on shaky legs and started towards the hallway. At the entry way you turned back letting the blanket fall to the floor, “-And Wonderful Christmastime would still suck.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To My Many Minxes: @toomanystoriessolittletime @vodka-and-some-sass @just-random-obsessions @brokenthelovely @lots-of-loki @thefallenbibliophilequote @scrumptious-finicky-illusion @iamverity @mizfit2 @sammy-jo1977 @wolfsmom1 @jessiejunebug @iluvsumbucky @unadulteratedwizardlove @procrastinatinglikeabitch @shxdowofdarkness @nonsensicalobsessions @ahintofkiwistrawberry @alexakeyloveloki @rorybutnotgilmore @crystalizedcaramel @lokislittlecorner @capcapcapsicle @jamielea81 @caffiend-queen @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore @jenjen8675309 @that-one-person @roguewraith

#stephschristmaswritingchallenge #loki x you #loki x reader #loki smut #loki holiday #loki christmas #loki christmas smut #marvel smut #marvel holiday #marvel holiday smut

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chuckbass-love · 3 years

Note

Johnny gives me rough childhood vibes. Maybe a fic about his childhood or why he acts the way he does

Hiya lovely anon! Right so again, i’m sorry for making everyone wait ages for their requests but i never want to rush them and have them be bad. So i like to take my time to plan out how i want to write them before i write. I hope this was worth the wait and i hope that you love it. I’ve followed the story of Johnny and Sue and what happened to their parents but i’ve changed the age of when it happened, sort of. It’s for the sake of the fic to make it work.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Johnny Storm x Reader

Summary: You’ve been dating Johnny for a while now but you still don’t feel like you know him, the real him. So when you finally ask about his life growing up, he hesitates to open up.

Warning: Angst, mentions of death, mentions of murder (not much), mentions of depression, self harm and just all round dark. If any of these themes upset or trigger you then please don’t read. 18+

Word Count: 4,311

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @xo-tough-love-xo go check them out🥰

Demons Unmasked

Ever since you first met Johnny you knew there was something about him, something behind those eyes, an immense pain that he could never move on from or heal. But being his partner didn’t automatically earn you the right to know and he wasn’t exactly the best at opening up. So for a while you learned to let it all go and let him be the one to tell you whenever he felt ready.

You can still remember when you first asked him about what life was like for him and Sue. He’d clued you in very early on about his parents and the fact that they passed when he was younger. It was hard on him, he didn’t need to tell you that, you just knew. And since he barely shared any more details, it was obvious that the whole thing was still a sore subject.

Sue pretty much raised him after that point and it wasn’t easy, she struggled day in and day out and worried like crazy about setting him on the right path and keeping him there. Gangs were all the rage and let’s just say it wasn’t an easy job to do to keep him far away.

When you and Johnny first started dating, Sue pulled you to the side for a chat at dinner and gave you a heads up about everything. At first you didn’t get why but the more time you spent with Johnny, you realised that he was very guarded and she wanted you to be aware of what you were getting into. She wanted you to know that patience is key when it comes to him telling you things.

And over the last year you’ve really learned a lot about patience. You’ve been there in the middle of the night when he’d wake up from a nightmare that scared him so much that he struggled to sleep again afterwards. You’ve wiped the sweat from his forehead and held him in your arms to soothe him. You’ve watched him change the subject umpteen times whenever the conversation turned to family.

Which isn’t a surprise because to him, his only family was Sue. She’s the only family member he ever knew and the thought of him growing up with next to no one else, saddens you deeply.

Today is your birthday and Johnny has been driving himself up the wall with plans for it. He keeps saying how he wants today to be perfect for you and that his favourite person in the world deserves nothing but the best.

Whoever said romance is dead hadn’t met Johnny Storm.

“Babe” he calls, his voice echoing through the apartment until he reaches the bathroom to find you drying off after your shower. His eyes rake over your body in awe before you turn away out of embarrassment “everything okay?” you ask, wrapping the towel back around yourself and padding into the bedroom and then to the closet to pick out your outfit for the day.

“Yeah, i just wondered when you wanted to do gifts” he smiles, leaning against the door frame as you change and then turn to him with the same smile on your face “whenever you’re ready” you say, glancing at yourself in the mirror briefly before following him out into the lounge and the moment you step foot into the room, you gasp at the sight. Balloons and banners cover the walls and floor. A small stack of presents sit nicely on the coffee table in front of the couch and you roll your eyes before looking at him.

“Johnny” you sigh, he’s really gone all out and you feel so lucky right now. Despite you consistently telling him that all you wanted was to spend the entire day with him, no gifts needed, he didn’t listen.

“What? You didn’t seriously expect me to not spoil you on your birthday did you?” he smirks, leading you over to the couch and handing you a card. You open it and pull it out to see it’s covered in love hearts with a simple ‘Happy Birthday’ on the front. However, when you open it to look inside, the cutest message is written.

‘Y/N,

Whether we are together or apart, you’re first in my thoughts and first in my heart. Happy birthday baby.

Lots of love, Johnny x’

As much as he likes to play dumb, he’s actually very intelligent and very cute and thoughtful. This card means more to you than any present ever could. Your lips touch his as you thank him for his beautiful words and mutter “i love you” in between the kisses.

“Now, open this one first” he instructs, pointing to the square box. You pick it up, placing it on your lap and start to undo the black ribbon tied neatly on top and when you lift the lid, a canvas is lightly covered in red tissue paper. It’s a picture of you and Johnny together. His lips are just touching your forehead and you’re smiling so big that you’re pretty sure your face was hurting. You both look like the epitome of happiness.

Tears brim in your eyes and you let one fall before turning to him “Johnny, i love it. It’s perfect” he tilts your head up to capture your lips in a loving kiss followed by a small make out session. He’s always struggled to stop at one kiss.

“I was worried it would be too much but i thought you could hang it right above our bed”

Did he just say our bed? Wait, are you missing something here because you don’t live with him, sure you’ve discussed it but never made any official decisions.

You can see he quickly regrets saying it as soon as he widens his eyes before clearing his throat and handing you the next present. This one is a tad smaller than the box before and it’s a white box with sticker in the middle, the writing is unclear but you waste no time in pulling the lid off to reveal a gorgeous apron.

When you and Johnny first met it was at a bake sale that Sue had dragged him along to. You were selling cakes that you had made, all sorts of flavours. He kept coming around to your booth over and over, tasting a different cake each time and giving you more than the money that they costed. You remember your sister who was helping you sell them telling you that he liked you but you waved her off, refusing to believe that you’d caught someones eye. But funny enough, before he left, he plucked up the courage to ask for your number and the rest is history.

The apron is white with a variety of colours all over it, the strings are pink and you’re in love with it. Now you’re desperate to get in the kitchen and bake just so you can wear it. He must have noticed the way your current one was getting rather tatty and the fact that he thought to get you this just goes to show how thoughtful he is and how much attention he pays to you.

“It’s so beautiful” you beam, holding it up to admire it some more “just like you then” he winks, snaking his arms around your torso and pulling you closer as he holds the final present in his hands.

Though you’re trying your best, you just can’t get the way he said our bed, out of your head. What did he mean by that?

“And this is the last one, i promise” he chuckles, popping it into your small hands and allowing you to open it. Once you do, a key sits in the middle with your initials written on one side and his on the other. You look up at him, more tears forming as it starts to click what this means “will you move in with me?” tears form in his eyes too as he looks at you with puppy dog eyes and you wrap your arms around him “yes, i’d love to” you grin, kissing him some more.

“Really?” does he even need to ask?

“Yes, really. I’d love to live with you”

He cups your face with both of his hands, deepening the kiss if that’s even possible before resting his forehead to yours and a relieved sigh escapes “i tried my hardest not to ruin it when you opened the canvas but i guess i just got too excited” he explains, so that’s what he meant by our bed.

Now it makes sense why he was looking at duvet sets and toothbrush holders for his place. He was preparing in case you said yes. Which you did and it was the easiest yes you’ve ever given.

Johnny then stands up, clearing any rubbish away before sitting back down next to you and going over the plans for the rest of the day. He mentions how he’s booked a table for dinner tonight but wants to take you shopping for something new to wear first. You reluctantly agree, after losing the battle with him. You tried to explain that you could just wear something you already have but he wasn’t having any of it.

You never win.

After getting your shoes on and brushing your teeth, you walk out into the hall to get your coat from the rack and as you do, Johnny bends down to pick up some post before spotting you stood there.

“Looks like you’ve got some cards” he states, handing them to you for you to open.

The first one you open is from your sister, she’s been busy lately with college so you didn’t expect to see her today but it’s the thought that counts.

The next one is from your parents. Johnny takes them from you once you read what’s inside so he can set them down next to the card you got from Sue and Reed and his one.

As he does this you notice him reading the cards and his face falls once he reads the one from your parents.

“Are you okay?” stupid question but you can’t just jump straight into a conversation like that, he has to know that you’re treading lightly. It’s always been a tough subject for him.

“Yeah, i’m fine” he shrugs it off before placing it down and turning to leave the room “shall we go then?” but you stop him.

“Johnny” he shakes his hand from your grasp, pulling away and letting out an annoyed deep breath “leave it Y/N” he snaps but you don’t. You can’t just keep leaving it. You want him to tell you when he’s ready but you’re afraid that day may never arrive unless you prove to him how much you care.

You sit back down on the couch and your silent prayers that he’ll join you pays off as he takes a seat next to you “Johnny, i know this isn’t exactly a conversation you want to have with me but i want you to know that i love you no matter what and i want to be here for you if you ever need me” you explain, taking his hands and holding them both in yours.

“I’m fine, Y/N seriously. I just need to stop being silly and move on from it. Most people have their parents around and i don’t, i haven’t since i was 10 and that’s fine” he rushes, in hopes that it’ll get you off his back but you aren’t budging.

Silence falls upon the two of you for a couple of minutes and you decide to just let him calm down before speaking. Eventually he beats you to it “i didn’t exactly have the best childhood. I was raised by my older sister and spent years so angry at the world that i did everything in my power to shut everyone out. I constantly wanted to lash out and make people hurt the way i was hurting. I joined gangs, i’d commit silly crimes like stealing and when that stopped distracting me, i resorted to self harm. I’d sit in my room for hours upon hours, sometimes even days and just lay there, music drowning out all the noise as i constantly attacked my own body. I hated who i’d become but who i’d become was the only way i could stop myself from hearing those voices in my head. Voices that told me my parents were better off not being parents to me and that i was a failure”

Tears drown your vision out as you listen to the man you love open up for the first time since you met him. He’s never told you about any of this. Now you can see why. When terrible things happen to us as a human race, we’re taught that no one will understand or that we are freaks and should just keep it to ourselves. Men are conditioned to feel like showing any kind of emotion will make them less of a man and that they need to be strong. The stigma attached to mens mental health is shocking and now you wonder if he ever told Sue any of this. You know she’s aware of him having some issues but has she known about this all along, all of the details?

“My mother died when i was 8, her and my dad were in a car accident, he survived and she well, you already know. Her side of the car was the side that got hit and my dad who was a doctor, struggled to save her. He spent so long beating himself up for it, blaming himself and soon enough he found comfort in alcohol. He drunk himself stupid every night almost and eventually got into gambling. Sue tried her best to help him, using me as a bribe for him to turn his life around, telling him that i needed a dad and if i lost him too it would destroy me. But he didn’t care. He was consumed by guilt, so much so that he got into a lot of trouble, mostly with loan sharks, we lost our house after he left and had to go and live with my aunt”

“Left? Where did he go?” you ask, keeping a hold of his hands as they shake from recounting all of his childhood trauma to you, you can see this is hard for him “if you don’t want to tell me then i won’t make you”

“No, i need to do this. He never died, i lied to you. He got sent down for murder two years after my mom passed, the lone sharks he got into trouble with were threatening him, it got pretty bad and he saw no way out. It’s just easier for me to say he died because i’m ashamed to admit that he refuses to see me or Sue and if i’m being honest, he might as well be dead. He doesn’t want anything to do with us. He said the guilt that fills him at the mention of our names is enough to make him want to stay away. He still blames himself for my mothers death”

You feel extremely overwhelmed right now, unsure of what to say until he turns to look at you.

“Listen to me, in no way are your parents better off being gone. If they were still with you and in your life, they’d be so proud of you. Johnny, i mean it. You’re incredible, the things you’ve achieved in the last year alone are something to be celebrated. I love you and i’m not going to let you diminish everything that you are. You’re brave and strong and i’m so glad to call you my boyfriend”

He leans his head on your shoulder and you pull him in for a hug. Both of your eyes fill with more tears as some fall down your faces and you can tell that right now all he needs is for you to be here and hold him.

After hearing all of that, everything makes sense. The way he acts, the way he overcompensates with his flirting and humour. He uses it as a mask, to cover up who he is in the dark when he’s alone. When you’re not around, this is him. Just a scared little boy who’s known rejection, sadness and regret for as long as he can remember. He’s just wanted to feel accepted, loved and wanted by those around him and he was forced to grow up way too early, losing his parents so close together can’t have helped him at all. Knowing his dad doesn’t want to see him saddens you all the more.

“Are you, you know... self harming now?” the one question you hate to ask but you have to know “no, i haven’t since before i met you. I found other ways to help my anger like working out” you both pull away from the hug and he sees how puffy your eyes are, his aren’t much better either.

“How did you do it?” again, you really don’t want to know but you have to, you want to understand him more and you’re hoping he won’t pull away from you now “however i could. Cutting, punching. All sorts. To me it didn’t matter what i did as long as i did something to ease the pain but the release never lasted long enough”

You close your eyes, sighing. All you feel for him right now is sympathy and anger. Angry that you didn’t know him then to help him but sympathy because no one should ever have to go through that. No one should ever have to feel so much pain that they resort to hurting themselves, no one should ever have to feel so worthless that they get themselves into trouble and lash out at everyone around them. His dad should have stayed, he should have used Johnny and Sue as a reason to fight but even then, addiction is hard to fight so it’s not like it would have been easy for him. Guess life just has a funny way of working out and this all happened for a reason. A very sick reason but a reason nonetheless. You’re just glad he’s with you now.

“I ruined your birthday” he mumbles, looking down and picking at the skin around his fingernails, anxiety practically drowning him but you’re not gonna let him do this.

You force him to look in your eyes and wipe the tears as they fall from his bloodshot eyes “hey, I don’t want to hear that you ruined my birthday. My birthday could never be ruined with you here. Whenever you’re around i feel like nothing could take away how good i feel” and it’s true, he makes you feel better, he improves your mood. You love him and you don’t think you’ll ever be able to stop.

There’s nothing he could ever tell you that could ever make you leave “are you sure?” his voice is low and barely audible but you hear it “i’m certain” he falls into your arms again and you kiss his head whilst you squeeze him tight “i love you” he sobs, his tears dripping onto your skin “and i love you” you rock him side to side, hoping to calm this frightened boy.

---------------------------------

After a while of just sitting there holding him, your phone rings, bringing you out of that sad state. It’s Sue.

He opens his eyes to see where all the noise is coming from and you move to pick the phone up.

“Hi Sue” you greet, barely even attempting to act nonchalant “sure, when?” she tells you that she was thinking of cooking for you, for your birthday and wants to know if you and Johnny are free.

You put the phone on speakerphone so Johnny can hear and he just gives you a nod as if to say ‘it’s up to you’. You know the relationship he has with Sue is important to him and he’s always been very happy about how well the two of you get along so you agree without a second longer to fester over it.

Sue hangs up to start cooking whilst Johnny excuses himself to reschedule the reservation for tomorrow instead. He insists that he wants today to be all about you and if going to have dinner with Sue is what you want, he doesn’t mind making the change but you still feel bad. He had this whole day planned and you can’t help but feel as though you’ve ruined it.

“Baby, it’s fine. Sue’s cooking is great, not 5 star Greek restaurant great but still great. We’ll go to that place tomorrow” he kisses your forehead as he heads into the other room to freshen up and you follow.

-------------------------

The journey to Reeds place doesn’t take long at all, it’s practically round the corner which doesn’t surprise you. You can recall Reed and Sue looking at bigger places but Sue ended up calling it off because she wanted to be close to Johnny at all times. Close enough so that if he ever needed her, she could be there.

Sue answers the door, smiling at you both as she ushers you inside, giving you a big hug and a present before you sit down “i was going to give this to you yesterday along with the card but i decided to wait until today”

You rip open the simple wrapping paper to reveal a Tiffany & Co. box with a white gold lock pendant necklace inside . It’s gorgeous “wow, guys. You really didn’t have to” you’re in shock “thank you so mucj”

She brings you into a hug before you stand to hug Reed too and shortly after Sue leads you away from him and Johnny and into the kitchen.

“You know i really ought to thank you” she says as she starts to dish up the food into serving bowls “since you came around, he’s been different. Happier. And i’m not saying this to make you feel obligated to stay with him but i want you to know that seeing him truly happy really means the world. You listen to him, you care for him and you love him”

Hearing Johnny say that you make him a better person and improve his life always leads to you waving him off like it’s nothing and that he doesn’t need to remind you what you’ve done for him because he’s improved your life too but hearing Sue say it, hearing her thank you like this. It all feels more real, like you really have made a difference.

“He told me everything” you blurt out, unsure if Johnny would want you to tell her that you know and by the way she shivers, you can see you caught her off guard “really?” she keeps herself busy with the food as she talks and when you walk closer to face her she freezes.

“I’m sorry for what happened to you both and i just want to say that any time you want to talk, i’m here. It must be hard sometimes carrying all of that on your back but just so you know, you’ve done an amazing job with Johnny. I couldn’t think of someone who’s sweeter or more polite and he’s doing well for himself” your praise sets her off and she starts wiping at her eyes before hugging you once more “thank you”

Johnny enters the kitchen, clearing his throat to announce his presence and when he sees the two of you, clearly having a heart to heart, his eyes soften “is the food almost ready?”

Sue nods, gesturing to the many serving bowls on the kitchen counter “take the potatoes and vegetables in please and send Reed in too” he nods, smiling as he does as he’s told before looking towards you with pure adoration.

God, he’s everything. He’s brave, loving and strong. You’re so glad he trusted you enough to open up and you’re gonna continue to be there for him, should he ever need to talk to you about any of it again.

Years have gone by with him never being able to find the words to talk about his childhood until you came along. Sharing everything with you was the first step to finally moving forward. Maybe he stands a real chance now at living a life free of all that pain. Maybe one day that will be possible and he can finally stop worrying about everything haunting him. One step at a time though.

He’s got you here with him to help him through and that’s all that matters right now.

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