#(ive mentioned before but i have very bad memory so keeping records is how i show i care about someone/thing) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

amoristt · 3 years

Text

Grazing the Fire | IV

well hello. here i am, four years later, once again enamored with nathan enough to finally dust this baby off and pick up where i left it. im a little rusty so bear with me this chapter! much more to come <3

reblogs + tags and replies will make my entire day as i put a lot of effort into this :)! it also helps motivate me!

story continues beneath the read more. let me know if you can’t access it!

Warning: language, very vague s/a mentions

want to support me? heres my kofi!

__________________________

“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?”

A few hands raise in the corners of your eye, but yours remains atop your desk. Eyes far away, mind in a murky haze and almost completely unaware. All you could focus on were the memories playing on repeat within the confines of your tired, tired brain. Hours ago, you were warm, you were comfortable. Safe.

Cheeks heated to a dusting blush when you remind yourself just how you had awoken that morning. At some point in the night, an angel had blessed you. Allowed you to wake up wrapped around none other than big, bad, Nathan Prescott. Your face nuzzled into his chest, broad but wiry hands pressed firmly over your shoulder and his arm slung over your waist to keep you against him. Thankfully you had been the first to wake up, blinking away the morning sun blazing through his blinds and painting the room stripes of gold. At that moment, before your headache came crashing down onto your skull, you were astounded by him.

Eye lashes brushing the top of his cheeks, his lips parted ever so slightly, chest rising and falling rhythmically. In that moment, there was no anger, no bitterness. Just a soft and peaceful slumber. It was like being the sole viewer of a magnificent painting- each stroke and detail placed just there just for you to pick out, to remember the curves and sharp edges down to the very foundation. From his unkempt hair down to the way his hand flattened onto the mattress where your indent still lived. Nathan was so beautiful like this.

For a long time you stayed there. It was as though you were afraid to move- you couldn’t bear to disturb him. You had wondered, if he was always like this, so at peace, what would he be like? Likely soft voiced, mild mannered. He’d do his school assignments without hassle and donate to the charity board. He would wander the town with his friends and listen to music in a beat up truck flying down the stretch of highway overlooking the bold, blue, and beautiful ocean. An entirely different version of himself- carefree, and a fair blue as opposed to a burning flame of red.

But, if that were the case, you’d never have gotten here. You’d never been both the outsider, and the only seeing eye. A lucky, albeit firstly unwilling witness to the display of depth before you.

It never hit you like it had quite in that moment how lucky you were.

But- just then- an alarm disturbed what serendipity existed. You nearly leapt out of your skin, clutched your hands to your chest at the sudden sound. A headache wove its way into your once untouched temples. Nathan groaned, mumbled, ‘god damn it’, under his breath, and thus his body was reanimated into life. He rubbed his eyes and he stretched, that familiar scowl coming over his eyes and lips as he took in the sunlight damn near blinding him. A polar opposite to the being you’d appreciated just moments earlier.

“Ugh, fuck, how the fuck is it seven already.” He groaned. “I feel like shit.”

“Well good morning to you too,” You started, welcoming Nathan into the world. “‘I’m feeling pretty shitty as well.”

You said that, but really… You were more than alright. Your head had hurt, slight nausea crept into the wells of your stomach, but other than that you’re sure you were phenomenally better than you’d have been waking up whereverTate would have left your ass.

“You need to get outta here, before everyone gets up.” Nathan drawled, but he didn’t sound as urgent as you expected him to be. You’d expected him to be angry that you were still in his room, but instead he just… accepted it.

You snickered, climbing out of his throne of a bed. “Wow, you’re giving me the morning after treatment?”

“Sure am. Get outta here, whore.”

“Oh fuck you.”

You located your heels from last night, resting upright near his dorm room door. Heels didn’t sound like the most practical to sneak out of a dorm with, so you instead opted to grappling them by the straps and carrying them at your side. Hair a mess, outfit riddled with wrinkles and makeup smudged under your eyes, you stood before Nathan in all your glory. He stared at you for a long, odd moment- and you for some reason felt exposed, or even, shy.

“What?” You ask expectantly, placing a hand on your hip.

His eyes trail to your line of vision. He shakes his head. “Just thinking about how now you really do look like my morning after.”

“Yeah?” You hummed. “Find it hard to believe you get a lot of those.”

Nathan shoots you a suggestive glance. “You’d be surprised. Everyone wants a piece of Prescott.”

Surely, he was joking, or maybe he wasn’t, but you… Didn’t like hearing that. It made your stomach feel odd, uncomfortably heavy. As he stood up, reminding you how many inches he had over your size, you swallowed and cleared your throat to flush out that crappy feeling. “Well,” you started, mood having dropped. “I’m gonna go, then.”

“What got your panties in a twist all the sudden?” He asked, raising a brow and pulling some clothes from his closet, tossing them onto the bed.

The bed you two had shared.

You hated the idea of his morning afters- whoever they may be.

“Not feeling great. Probably a side effect of the roofies.” You mumbled.

Nathan breathed a laugh. “Probably.”

He seemed so calm, right now. Perhaps due to it being so early, before the outside world had a chance to remind him just why he was so uptight all the tight. Before he needed to be so uptight all the time. He really did have so many versions of himself- all of whom you were slowly becoming familiar with. Compared to the person you’d believed him to be before your run ins, you’d never have assumed someone so dangerous could be so soft as last night, as this morning. In the beginning, you’d feared him. Avoided him like a plague, or a wild animal. Even when you were enraptured in the existence of him, you still wanted to keep away. You’d never have believed someone like you could wake up clutched to his chest, as though he were afraid if he released you, you’d be gone long before he woke.

Then, a sudden thought struck your mind.

He’d held you so tight. He’d welcomed you in the morning. No anger, no annoyance. His soft laugh at your banter and taunts. How your heels were standing upright instead of tossed haphazardly into some random corner, where he’d watch your struggle to find.

How he’d stayed awake to ensure your sleep.

“So are you just gonna stand there?” Nathan called you back to reality, hands gripping the hems of his shirt. “I gotta get ready and you need to wash up so you don’t look like a five dollar stripper.” Cruel words, but with absolutely no bite. You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah. But, hey,” You started. “Thank you for last night.”

“Yeah, yeah. You gotta start learning to watch your own back.” He says. “There’s gonna be times I won’t be there to drag your ass out of the fire.”

If you’d been charged, if you’d been stricken with a strange defensiveness, you’d have retorted, ‘than stop helping me’, but… Instead you allowed yourself the comfort of protection. You allowed Nathan Prescott to watch you.

“I know,” You reached for the door. “Thank you.”

With that, you bounded out of the dorm silent as a mouse.

-----------

In hindsight, you should have left earlier. Class was merely 15 minutes away when you slipped out of Nathan's room and bounded towards the women's dorm. Albeit not exactly a long walk, by the time you discreetly snuck back into your own dorm, you had roughly twenty minutes to somehow pick an outfit from your countless unopened boxes and make yourself even slightly presentable.

Wiping off whatever make-up you could get and reapplying it, brushing out the tangles of your hair and nearly tearing off your scalp in the process, scattering your nightclothes over your floor and managing to scrounge out a semi-decent outfit for the day… You still looked a mess. If the mirror could laugh, it would have. Black mascara smudges under your eyes and frizzy untreated hair. What a lovely look.

You’d made it to class just five minutes late, but those five minutes were all it took for all eyes to be on you as you tried to slide into the classroom unnoticed. A couple classmates whispered to their table mates as you passed by, smelling of oversaturated cherry blossom perfume to hopefully cover the scent of alcohol. You sauntered to your seat and sank down with all your weight, suddenly exhausted. You’d made it with just five minutes tainting your record of attendance. The teacher greeted you with a disappointed sigh, and thus, the day began.

But, it was so hard to focus. All you could think about was Nathan.

“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?”

You lowered your head.

“Ah, how about, ___?”

You snaked back into reality, blinking up at the chalk board that was somehow already riddled with math equations. Since you hadn’t been paying attention even in the slightest, your mouth gaped wide open, eyes scanning for something you understood even slightly so you didn’t look like a total idiot.

Sadly, you were out of luck. The teacher shook his head. “I’m shocked,” He said. “You're normally so on top of things. Oh well.”

“Oh, I’m sure she was on top of things,” A female voice sniggered behind you “Last night.”

Your face flushed a red, hot, ruby. What the hell was she talking about? How had they found out you were with Nathan? You were so sure of being sneaky, there was no way-

“Her and Tate totally got it on last night.”

You whipped around in your seat, facing girls who looked to be clones of some sort. Both with the same dark eyes, short brown hair, and freckles. “What?”

“Alright-” Your teacher blurted. “That's enough. April, May, enough. Let’s not discuss things outside of the classroom.”

The two girls batted their eyes. “Sorry sir.” One spoke, twirling a hand through her hair. Her sister's wide toothy grin never fumbled.

“Back to it then. Kate, can you help out __ with number four?”

The small, blonde girl nodded quickly, brushing a lock of hair behind her eyes and offering an empathic nod.

As you turned around in your seat, her answer fell on deaf ears. Your heart was racing in your chest, hands balled into fists while you stared ahead blankly.

They couldn’t seriously think that you chose to leave with Tate, could they? Surely someone must have seen the state you were in. Someone other than Nathan.

The clock ticks forward but time feels like it's passing almost unnaturally slow. With just 10 minutes left, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.

‘Nathan: consider ur favor officially returned

Your tongue poked from your lips, the tiniest of smiles taking over your once sullen features. Terrible thoughts and worries flew out the window while you type back, ‘damn. here i was gonna to ask you to do a backflip off the roof with me. there goes my plans.’

Nathan types for a moment. Typing, stopping, typing again.

‘Nathan: soundz like a blast. where and when?’

A small blush heats your cheeks. ‘very funny. thanks to last night i have an entire 24 hour session of studying to catch up with.’

His response is almost instant. ‘Nathan: boringgg. txt me when ur fun.’

Rolling your eyes, you shove your phone back into your pocket. It seems you’ve been able to secure enough of a friendship with him for some mindless banter even outside your little visits. You smile. He’s… Fun to talk to. Surprisingly.

Class comes to an end and you start to pack up the books and papers you’d hardly even glanced at the whole period. Whatever had been upsetting you before is lost in your mind while you think of the morning, the night before. All the things in-between. But, your happiness doesn’t last long. As you get up, you’re almost forced right back into your seat as a weight shoves into your shoulder. Your books scatter to the floor. April, the one who’d remarked about you earlier, glares at you in what looks to be disgust.

“Careful April,” Her sister hums as she saunters past you, keeping distance and raising her already shrill tone of voice. “Might wanna watch where you’re walking- I’d hate for you to catch something from this slut.”

You absolutely gawk at her. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

April scoffs. “Oh come on, like everyone doesn’t know what you were up to last night.”

“Sleeping around isn’t a good color on you.” May hikes her bag over her shoulder and snickers at you. They both leave the class together, sickeningly in sync. You’re left stunned where you stand, unsure how the hell your life came to this so quickly. How you’ve stooped so low that the daughters of the world's most uncreative parents are able to bully you based on something that didn’t even happen.

Next class goes no better. The person to your right, a jockey looking brunette guy, asks, ‘have you ever heard of a Tate?’. You say no, that that’s the dumbest name you’ve ever heard. The idiot grins and goes back to marking down likely wrong answers on his test sheet and you debate kicking the leg of his chair out- but you don’t to avoid even more eyes on you. It makes you sick to your stomach- even more than recovering from the roofies does. How can everyone believe it? You barely even knew the guy and you were clearly uncomfortable with his advances. No one saw that?

After everything you’d worked for to build a reputation, trying so hard to not call out peoples shit for the sake of seeming friendly, tainted over something that didn’t even happen? And the kicker was that it hadn’t even been your fault! He’d drugged you, he’d have taken advantage of you! Yet you were the bad person?

Class came and went in the blink of an eye this time. Your mind wrapped up in the situation, your stomach churning. You wanted the day to be over with but you still had 4 more classes to suffer through. Why was this happening to you? Was Tate being treated just as horribly, or was he getting pats on the backs of his unaware friends?

Wandering down the halls to your locker, you noticed Lance and Kaz hanging around one of the drinking fountains. Your nerves quelled- your friends would surely make you feel much better. Especially since they had witnessed how awful you were feeling as you left. You approach with a relieved smile, ready to say your truth and finally have someone on your side.

“Hey guys.” You smile, but Lance looks down at his feet while Kaz places her hands to his hips. Your smile fades.

“You could have told us you were gonna spend the night with Tate,” Kaz snaps. “You didn’t need to lie like that just to leave. We were all worried about you and it was for nothing.”

“What?” You feel like you could cry. “No, Kaz, I really did try to leave. Tate tried to drug me and take me home, and-”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Lance interrupts, with a frown. He looks back down at the floor with knitted brows. “I’ve known Tate since before time. He wouldn't do something like that, especially not to one of my best friends. Plus he told me he was really into you. Why would he even try?”

“Are you serious?” You sputter. “You think I’d lie about something like that?”

“You’ve been lying about all sorts of things!” Kaz huffs. “What’s going on with you lately? You’ve been so distant, and secretive. What are you hiding that’s making you lie like this? We’re supposed to be your friends and then you lie to our faces just to go and fuck the first guy that shows you attention.”

“What…?” It was like acid. It was like the rug had been pulled from your feet sending you spiraling down the unending cliff. Kaz, your best friend, all that venom. How could they turn against you like this? What the hell is going on? You felt your throat tighten. “Look, I’m sorry if I’ve been distant, but I’m not lying to you, I-”

“We gotta go.” Lance isn’t in the mood to hear it. “We’ll catch up to you.. Some other time.”

Kaz says nothing as she pushes past you. Lance, at least, spares a short glance over his shoulder. You stood there alone in the hallway, your bag falling off your shoulder and clattering onto the floor with a thud echoing off the walls. Everything you had, all gone at once.

No one believed you.

---------

With nowhere to go where you felt like you could truly allow yourself to process the day's events, you went to the only place you knew.

Just outside of campus, where rocks lined the edge of the boundary, overlooking the outskirts of the town and the ocean stretching as far as the eye could see. You settled yourself there, staring at the vast waters and wondering how this had all happened. Unlucky didn’t even begin to cover how it felt. Not only did you feel violated with Tate attempting to do unthinkable things with your unconscious body, but you also felt alone, and walked on. Your best friends hadn’t believed you. While Lance seemed saddened, Kaz was so… Angry. Her words cut like knives into your skin.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. You didn’t deserve this.

You want to talk to Nathan, but knowing him, he’d see your state and bounce instantly. After all, this isn’t exactly very fun of you.

As the sun began to fall, splaying orange and blues over the wide open sky, behind you, you could hear voices. A group of them, some male, some female. Memories of when your notebook had gotten snatched by those two horsed face assholes came flooding back and with all your alertness, you stood up, and decided that this sitting place was no longer safe. Nothing was.

Before you even made it ten feet away, the group had found their way to your spot and gotten comfortable, one of the girls cheering, ‘this’ll be our hangout! look at how pretty the view is!’

You took a short drive down the stretches of road and decided that if you were going to lament in your own sadness, you were at least going to do so in a place that had something to cover the sound of your tears. Plus a nice view.

The beach, littered with its picnic tables and the sounds of crashing waves would suffice just fine. So, you pulled in the desolate parking lot and wandered down the sandy shores until you stumbled upon a picnic table shaded by a large willow cascading lushious branches to block out the sun- a perfect canopy for you to wallow under.

You had nothing at that moment. No friends, no reputation, no one to believe your tragic tale. And now, you’d just lost the one spot that made you feel comfortable when stress was building into your body like concrete. Tears pricked into the corners of your eyes and you bit your lip, dreading that feeling of a lump in your throat. Why you? Everything had been going so well. How could not even a single person believe that Tate had tried to hurt you?

Well, actually, there was one person.

Of course Nathan believed you. He’d been the one to rescue you, after all. Time and time again it seemed. How was it that even the ones closest to you would turn their back so fast, yet Nathan seemed to be there even when you didn’t want him to be? Even when you yelled at him, and he yelled right back, fire and sparks falling into embers around the two of you.

In that moment, you almost felt like you could finally relate to him. A reputation based on lies and things out of your control, paired with a hardheaded attitude to try and combat all the assumptions.

No wonder he was so angry.

“Hey bitch,” A voice suddenly called, and you had a split second moment where you were terrified of once again being the victim of a cruel prank or some classmates boredom. “How about next time you have a pity party you don’t fucking call me in the middle of it.”

You blinked away your tears and through the blurriness saw a figure coming towards you. All that sass, the tone...

“Nathan?” You breathed. It only takes moments before he’s in front of you, holding his phone in view, seeing that the call that had been running for nearly ten minute. You flush in embarrassment, pulling your phone from your back pocket. “How did that happen?”

“Well, can your ass dial numbers?” He taunts, ending the call.

“Damn it, dumb phone must have butt-dialed you. I knew I should’ve gotten a different one.” You mentally kick yourself. “It must have unlocked in my pocket.”

“You don’t have a password on your phone?” He taunts. When you shake your head, he whistles. “You are just begging for a robbery. I’ll keep that in mind when I’m in the mood to send random messages to all your buddies.”

“Fuck off.” You scowl, and he grins, hopping up on the picnic table next to you. The sun flatters his skin. He’s almost glowing.

“Speaking of buddies, how the hell did it pick my number out of your sea of friends?”

You shrug. “Probably cuz’ it’s a priority contact.”

“Oh lala, I’ve been upgraded to priority huh? Does it display a superman logo whenever you give it a ring?”

“Nope. When I press call it rings the nearest asshole in my vicinity. The fact that it’s you is your own problem.”

“Haha, fucking ha.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. He stares out at the water, watching waves pull and crash onto the beach. It’s almost beautiful, until he ruins it. “Yknow, you’re a really ugly crier.”

“Wow, thanks.” You shake your head. “That's exactly what I needed to hear right now. Why did you even stay on the line?.” Wiping your eyes, you start to forget your tears. “Couldn’t have been that wild of a conversation.”

Nathan shrugs. “Between the crying and the sound of the waves it was pretty nice.” He grins. “Very educational.”

“Awesome. Glad I was able to make your day.” It doesn’t feel like your usual bitey remarks. You’re tired, you’re still a little hurt and you can’t stop thinking about how such an amazing morning had turned into such a horrible day.

“So what’s got you all fucked up? Never seen you act like this big of a baby before.”

“Nothing. You already paid off your debt to me per this morning, so feel free to resume our regularly scheduled mutual hatred.” You say, lying through your teeth. You know you’re both past the point of hatred, but you’re feeling jaded, you can’t help it.

“Oh shut the fuck up,” He groans. “I didn’t drag my ass all the fucking way out to this shit hole of a beach just for you to give me that bullshit. What, did you fail a test? No one matched you on tinder?”

“Everyone thinks me and Tate slept together last night.” You blurt. “I think he’s telling people me and him had sex.”

Nathan tenses his shoulders and grimaces. “Fucking werido.”

“I told my best friends that he tried to take advantage of me and they don’t believe me. One of em’ even said he wouldn’t do something like that.”

“Fuck em’. Who needs best friends.”

“And to make everything so much better, these two bitches that I share four of my classes with harassed me all goddamn day. I mean, fucks sake, how the hell are girls named April and May of all things able to get to me. It’s bullshit. And to make matters worse, Tate is just… Getting away with it.”

“Yeah well, something tells me that Tate’s gonna get a real nice fucking taste of medicine eventually. I just gotta find him first. He’s got a lot of nerve spreading shit around given I knocked his ass onto the pavement.” Nathan brows knit at the memory.

You test the waters. “Why would you do that for me?”

He seems caught off guard, or maybe, surprised that you’d ask. Maybe he thinks you’re both beyond that point. He grumbles, “Why does it matter.”

“I’m just curious. We don’t owe each other anything, remember?”

“Yeah, well,” He huffs. “Don’t ask me questions to shit I don’t know the answer to.”

“You say that an awful lot.” You tease.

“Yeah well you ask dumbass questions an awful lot. Not everything I do has to have some weird ass motives behind it, ___. Maybe I’ve got beef with Tate that’s outside of you.”

“Uhuh. Sure.” You’re about to say something else, when your phone lights up with a text. The display makes your heart fall all over again.

Unknown Number: you should just pack up and go somewhere else. no one wants std’s from breathing your air xoxo

You don’t even know who that is. Now absolute strangers are on your case. You want to throw your phone into the ocean and leave.

Nathan scoffs. “Don’t even bat a fucking eye for that bitch, whoever the hell they are. Half the hoes you’ve mentioned have slept with half the football team,” he pinches his jacket, “and I would know.”

“Ew, Nathan,” You grimace, that same feeling from the morning returning. It feels, oddly, like jealousy. He nudges your arm with his elbow and grins playfully. It’s cute.

“Chill, I’m just fucking with you. You gotta know even I wouldn’t fuck girls that desperate. I’m a man of class.”

That last comment actually forces a laugh from you. It’s soft, but it’s real. The first laugh you’ve genuinely had all day. “That’s horrible.” You remark, giggling again.

It's almost like the slight restoration of your mood puts him at ease as well. He leans back on his hands and stares off into the ocean, those sparkling waters under the setting, orange sun. “I’m for real though. Those hoes aren’t worth your time. One day when we blow this shithole of a town they’re not even gonna matter.”

Your brows knit, eyes blinking up at him. Had you heard that right?

“We?” You ask, perplexed, albeit a little… Hopeful.

Nathan sputters. “Well- Like, when everyone’s older and-”

“You know what, it's fine.” You interrupt. “Fuck it. You’re right. We’re gonna blow this town and they’re just gonna be some shitty memories.”

He sucks in a shaky breath. You’ve never heard him scramble like that, like he’s been unmasked. The look he casts you when you agree, when you don’t tease or patronize and finally hop on the idea that yeah, what if the two of you really didn’t have to deal with it anymore.

What if the two of you could just exist, without the anger.

You look up at him. “Would you actually do that though?” You start. “With me, of all people?”

He swallows. His expression is tense, but he’s not upset. He appears nervous, caught off guard. Nathan tries, “I-”

Your phone rings. Shrill, piercing. Mood destroying.

“Jesus Christ, it’s my mom.” You grab your phone and Nathan looks forward, stone faced and silent as you hop off the table and answer. It’s your mother, who all but shouts into the phone that her and your father are taking a surprising visit to Arcadia Bay while they’re traveling by on their vacation. She insists that you be ready in about an hour for dinner, and likely there will be family photos.

Which means if you still look as wrecked as you did this morning, you’re gonna have a lot of washing up to do. With a quick goodbye, a short and sweet, ‘love you’, you hang up and sigh.

“You still tell your mom you love her?” He teases. “What are you, five?”

You frown. “You don’t tell your parents you love them?”

Nathan side eyes you, and just shrugs. It is all the answer you need, really, and for his sake you decide it wouldn’t be best to press the issue. Not now. But- it still makes your heart hurt just a little. You wished that he’d had it better growing up.

“Right… Do you want a ride home?”

“Fuck no, what am I,” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “a fucking girl scout?”

“I was just offering, weirdo.” When he doesn't get up, you feel like you’re missing out. Like if you stayed, maybe, just maybe, you’d get to know him a little better. “Hey, if you want, I can stay for a bit longer.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re needed elsewhere. But,” he shrugs. “I don’t know. Fuckin’... Text me or something. Or not, I don’t care either way.”

There’s a small warmth in your chest that rises to your cheeks. He wants you to text him. “Yeah,” You say. “If I’m feeling fun.”

And with that, you bid him farewell, beginning your descent to the parking lot.

“Hey,” He calls, and you turn just in time to catch a small item he’s tossed right at you. A tiny key resides in the palm of your hand. “Spare. If shit hits the fan again-...” He shrugs, and actually looks away. “Just don’t be too fucking loud of I’ll kick your ass out myself. No Madison needed.”

The widest grin plays over your lips. “I’m gonna re-decorate your room while you’re gone.”

“Ah, you fucking better not.” He shouts. “Actually- you know what, give it back.”

“No, no! I’m sorry.” You play with the key between your fingers. “Thanks for this.”

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t lose it and remember- emergencies only. I don’t need you watching me sleep like fucking freak. We’re past that stage.”

“How many times will I have to say I was never watching you. Christ… But, alright. See ya, then.” The key is heavy in your palm.

You place it into your pocket and give him one last glance before you take off, leaving him to enjoy the sound of waves, birds, and the absence of your tears.

#nathan prescott #nathan prescott x reader #life is strange #grazing the fire #scenario #fanfic #fluff

170 notes · View notes

agustdakasuga · 3 years

Text

Between The Bloodshed | Chapter 10

Genre: Mafia!AU, Angst, Romance, Fluff

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Characters: Doctor!Reader, Gangster!Namjoon, Gangster!Seokjin, Gangster!Yoongi, Gangster!Hoseok, Gangster!Jimin, Gangster!Taehyung, Gangster!Jungkook

Summary: Being a freelance doctor, this was just supposed to be any other job, helping a private client and taking care of him through his recovery. But you were not expecting to get caught in something so much darker that would change your life entirely.

It seems that as you get closer to the boys, the more they open up to you. That’s also when you realise just how much they actually left out of their supposedly honest profiles.

Warning: This story is fictional and has nothing to do with real life events or the actual members of BTS. It may contain depictions of violence, blood shed/ gore and mentions of abuse. Please read at your own discretion.

*BANG*

“What-” The door opened and soon, there was fast padding against your carpeted ground. Another body dove under the cover and curled itself next to yours. You blinked, sitting up immediately.

“Who...” You lifted the blanket to see who the quivering figure was.

“J-Jimin?! What are you doing here?” That was when you stopped, feeling the warmth that he was radiating onto your thigh. Throwing the covers back, Jimin hugged himself and you touched his forehead and cheeks. Reaching into your nightstand, you grabbed your thermometer, turning it on and sticking it into Jimin’s ears.

“You’re running a high fever!” You saw his temperature. Jimin shivered, grabbing your blanket to wrap himself up.

“Chim, can you hear me?” You called.

“C-Cold...” He stuttered. You got out of bed, heading out the door. It was quite early that the hallways were still rather empty. Going into your office, you grabbed what you needed.

“(y/n)?” Jin blinked as you rushed by him. He was always one of the early risers of the family.

“Can’t talk! Jimin! Sick!” You replied, running into your room. You turned Jimin onto his back, making him groan.

“Jimin hardly falls sick but when he does, it’s bad. Been like that since he was a kid.” Jin stood by the door way, arms crossed. You grabbed Jimin’s arm, cleaning it with an alcohol swab and poking the needle in with medication and fluids for him.

(A/N: For those wondering why the OC always put them on IV drips or if you do know some stuff about needle site complications, I’ve researched and spoken to friends in Korea. They actually get IV drips and injections very often for simple things like hangovers and the flu.)

“I got you a pail with iced water.” Jin stood by your side.

“Thanks.” You wrung the dampen towel, placing it on Jimin’s forehead. Taking your phone, you set a two hour timer.

“I’ll go let the others know Jimin is sick. As well as call his office. Let us know if you need anything.” Jin said and you nodded. He left as you wiped Jimin’s neck and arms with a cold towel.

“Omma...” He tensed.

"Shhh, Chim.” You hushed him, placing the towel on his forehead. You went to the bathroom to brush your teeth and change into more presentable clothes.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

“Come in.” You replied, combing your hair. Yoongi stood at the doorway. He looked flustered, rubbing the back of his neck. You blinked at him for two seconds but turned back to the mirror, fixing your hair. Yoongi wordlessly entered your room, standing over Jimin. From the corner of your eyes, you watched him cup Jimin’s cheek.

“How’s he?” Yoongi asked.

“Fine. He came in with a really high temperature so I put him on a drip. I’ll check his temperature again soon. Thankfully he stopped shivering and went back to sleep.” You replied.

“That’s good.” Yoongi mumbled, stroking Jimin’s head gently.

“Jin said when he gets sick, it’s often bad?” You asked. Yoongi nodded in confirmation.

“He got sick often as a kid and had febrile seizures. So he was always in and out of the hospital. His parents thought it would be the best way to keep him healthy. He’s gotten better over the years.” Yoongi explained.

“I don’t remembering reading about febrile seizures in the profiles.” You crossed your arms. Yoongi didn’t seem bothered by your dissatisfaction.

“He didn’t think it was necessary for you to know. It brings back a lot of bad memories for him. That’s why he came to you. He always just looks for someone to sleep next to. I’m sure he called you his mother in his feverish stupor right?” Yoongi asked. You nodded.

“Postpone my therapy session to tomorrow. I want you to care for Jimin today.” Yoongi ordered.

“I can do both, Yoon. He’ll most likely just sleep the whole day anyway.”

“No. I want you to just focus on Jimin today. An extra day won’t kill me. We’ll do it tomorrow.” Yoongi straightened up. You pursed your lips, knowing Yoongi won’t give in.

“Fine. We’ll do it tomorrow.” You gave in.

“Just stay with him. He always just needs someone by his side to help him feel better.” Yoongi instructed. You gave a thumbs up. With an acknowledging nod, the male left the room. You sat by Jimin’s side.

“You’re still so warm.” You sighed, taking his temperature again. After the beep, you saw the numbers and realised he was still running a high temperature so you continued to wipe him down with a towel and iced water. You drew the blanket back and he shivered slightly but you needed his temperature to go back down.

“Come on, Kookie.” Since you lowered the room temperature, you took Kookie out and brought him to Jungkook’s room.

“Huh?” Jungkook woke up.

“Parent duties.” You placed Kookie down on Jungkook’s blanket covered chest. Jungkook yawned and frowned, still trying to process what was going on. But he didn’t seem bothered as he went back to sleep.

“Bye, Kookie. Don’t fall off the bed or get squished by your appa.” You stroked his ears before leaving.

“Oh, doc. Morning.” Hoseok spotted you just as you were leaving Jungkook’s room. You gave a small smile and waved at him.

“I heard what happened to Jimin. How is he?”

“His temperature was rather high when he came. I’ve put him on a drip and iced him down. He should be fine in the next hour or so. I’m keeping my eye on him for the rest of the day. He’s residing in my room anyway.” You chuckled. Hoseok nodded with a sigh of relief.

“I’ll be taking over his duties for the day.” Hoseok informed. You nodded your head, patting his shoulder.

“Good luck.” You smiled. Hoseok gave you a slight hug before leaving you in the hallway. You went back to your room to find Jimin still sleeping, he looked a lot more comfortable, the frown off his face.

“Suffered from febrile seizures since adolescent years. After that, prone to severe fevers.” You noted down in your notepad.

“These boys seriously need to be hooked to a lie detector test for me to get a real background check.” You clicked your tongue and shook your head. You left to get your coffee.

“Can I get some beef mince juk for Jimin? And a glass of juice, with a straw.” You ordered. The maids nodded, rushing immediately. You made a small sandwich for yourself, bringing it back to your room with your iced coffee. As you did your work on the laptop on the bed, beside Jimin, you ate your breakfast and drank your coffee.

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

“Done.” Once the drip was done, you removed the needle from Jimin’s arm and placed a band aid over it. Putting everything aside, you took his temperature.

“Gone down a little...” You sighed and threw all the used materials away. After washing your hands, you left the room and headed to your office to get the necessary medications in a cup.

“Second time seeing you today. No girlfriend duties?” You asked Jin.

“You know she’s not a girlfriend, not even an acquaintance. But I’m surprised you asked, curious?” Jin smirked.

“Not even close. Just wanted to make sure since I have to prepare my ears for that shrill voice of hers.” You patted his shoulder, entering your room with the medication. Jin shook his head with a chuckle at your words.

“Bye!” He waved at you, to which you saluted.

“Doctor (y/l/n), this is young master Jimin’s meal that you requested.” The butler came with a tray. You nodded, letting him into the room. He placed the tray on your desk and bowed before leaving. You placed the medication down and opened the metal lid.

“(y/n)...?” You heard someone call you and turned around. Jimin frowned as he opened his eyes slightly.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty, right on time. How are you feeling?” You smiled softly, walking to his side. Jimin let out a groan of discomfort, looking around, seemingly confused at where he was.

“W-Where am I? I... I feel... horrible.” Jimin placed a hand on his forehead.

“Of course, you do. You’ve been running a high fever the whole morning. You came into my room and I put you on a drip. Thankfully, your fever is gone.” You informed.

“I-I see...”

“Come, sit up. Your lunch just came. After that, I’ll give you some medication to feel better.” You used another pillow to prop him up. Jimin pushed himself up slightly into a comfortable sitting position. You placed the glass of juice on the nightstand and pulled a chair, the bowl of warm porridge in your lap. Jimin’s cheeks turned pink.

“Uh... you don’t have to feed-”

“Don’t sweat it. I’m on Jimin care duty for the entire day.” You chuckled. You gave him a sip of juice first before blowing on the porridge lightly and feeding it to him.

“So, would you like to tell me why you left out childhood febrile seizures from your health record?” You asked. Jimin choked and coughed.

“Oh. You know about that.”

“You guys need to be honest with me in these things. I told you how important it is for me to know these things. I know you boys want to prove how tough you are but you don’t need to do that with me. You know I don’t care.” You continued to feed him.

“Yes, ma’am.” Jimin pouted like a scolded child. You laughed and patted his head. Once he finished, you placed the juice in his hands and went to put the empty bowl back on the tray.

“Here, have these and sleep more.” You gave him the medicine cup. He obediently ate the tablets, washing it down with the juice.

“Can I-”

“Yes, you can still sleep here. Don’t worry.” You smiled and tucked him back under the blanket. You brought the tray with the empty cup and bowl out to the kitchen, getting a bottle of water for Jimin.

“He woke up?” Yoongi asked.

“Wow, I don’t think you’ve ever sought me out so many times in one day, Yoonie. I must say, I’m touched.” You wiped a fake tear.

“Crazy woman.” Yoongi scoffed. He went to your room and you followed behind him, snickering with your hands tucked into your pockets. Jimin was already asleep when you and Yoongi entered. You pulled the chair at Jimin’s bedside out for Yoongi to sit in. Yoongi placed his hand on Jimin’s forehead, pushing his fringe back.

“He’s okay, Yoongi. Kept his food down. All he needs now is rest.” You leaned back against your desk, arms crossed. Yoongi hummed, pulling his hand away from Jimin.

“I’ll go now.” He said and left the room. You sat on your side of the bed, staring at Jimin’s sleeping face.

When Jimin stirred awake, the sun had set. He squinted his eyes, remembering where he was. Slowly, he turned his head beside him, you had fallen asleep in a sitting position.

“(y/n)... You’re gonna hurt yourself.” Jimin sighed. Even if his body ached, he was still able to push himself up and help you lie down comfortably. He fell back down beside you. You radiated warmth that made the still slightly feverish Jimin subconsciously scooted closer to you.

“Aren’t you going to help me?” Jimin coughed. You stood by the side, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. It was a little late, way past dinner time.

“You took advantage of me when I was asleep.” You glared.

“I didn’t! Y-You were just warm... So I gravitated to you...” Jimin blushed, looking away. Waking up with you and Jimin snuggling together was... eventful... to say the least.

“Excuses.” You scoffed.

“Well, you almost kicked me off the bed!” Jimin exclaimed. You walked down the stairs while Jimin slowly shuffled on his own, the sound of his house slippers brushing against the floor. The others were all chatting in the living room, each with their individual drinks. They turned their heads at the sound of both your footsteps approaching.

“Look who’s awake.” Hoseok smiled.

“I’m complaining about being taken advantage of while I was vulnerable.” You shouted as you walked past them to head into the kitchen. Jimin rolled his eyes, falling down onto the couch.

“Want a-”

“If any of you feed him alcohol, you’re dead!” You threatened from the kitchen. The kitchen was empty with all the staff having gone home.

“Hmm, let’s see.” With all the ingredients, you decided to make some spicy beef soup for Jimin, to clear his sinuses. While waiting for it to boil, you cut some fruit and made some citrus tea for him.

“Here, have this first. The soup needs to simmer for a while.” You handed him a tray with the fruit and tea.

“Smells good!” Jungkook grinned.

“You can have a bowl too later, if you’d like. I made more than enough” You patted his head. You couldn’t cook like a restaurant chef but you did live alone before this so you made an effort to learn how to cook from your mother and you always tested new recipes on your own.

“Wow, you know how to cook too. You surprise us everyday, doc.” Namjoon chuckled. You scoffed at him.

“You guys just don’t give me the chance to cook so you wouldn’t know.” You crossed your arms. When Jimin finished, you brought the tray to the kitchen. You checked the soup when someone came into the kitchen.

“How is it?” Taehyung asked.

“It’s still simmering. Here.” You let him taste a bit and he nodded his head, giving a thumbs up. Instead of leaving, he sat on one of the island chairs.

“Can I fix you anything?” You offered, back facing him.

“No.” He slid off the bar stool, heading to the pantry cupboard and digging for snacks that he could munch on. All you heard was the bubbling of the soup and his munching. Since he was munching on cookies, you warmed a glass of milk for him. Taehyung received the mug gratefully, holding it in both his hands as he took careful sips.

“Jungkook, do you want a bowl?” You stuck your head out of the kitchen.

“Yes!” He nodded his head and you took 3 bowls out, rinsing them with some warm water to warm them up.

“You pay a lot of attention to details.” Taehyung pointed out.

“Call it a habit, I guess.” You shrugged. After doing one final taste, you ladled some into the bowls and garnished them, putting some freshly cooked rice into the broth to make a rice and soup combination.

“I’ll help.” Taehyung took two bowls from you.

“Here, Chim. This is yours.” You placed it on the coffee table. He slid to the ground, inhaling the scent and letting out a sigh of happiness. Jungkook clapped his hands excitedly too, taking a seat beside you on the ground as Taehyung placed the bowls down.

“It looks and smells super good.” Hoseok leaned down to steal some broth from Jungkook, making the maknae whine.

“There’s extras if you’d all like some.” You told them. Soon, the others all had their own bowls of spicy beef broth and rice, some deciding not to dunk the rice in to soak, preferring to eat it separately.

“You should cook more.” Yoongi said.

“If you’d let me. I’ll be happy to.” You smiled, putting a spoonful of broth and rice into your mouth.

“More!” Jungkook placed his second full bowl on the table.

“Yah, it’s so late and you already ate dinner earlier! You’re going to puff up from all this liquid tomorrow!” Jin scolded.

“But that was 3 hours ago!” Jungkook snorted, continuing to eat. Seeing as Jungkook took the last bit of broth, you saw Hoseok and Taehyung trying to steal some from him, much to the maknae’s annoyance.

“I’m going to put these in the sink.” You stood up, taking yours and Jimin’s empty bowl to the kitchen.

“We can bring dishes on our own too. And leave the dishes tomorrow, you’ve done a lot by cooking enough to feed all of us already.” Namjoon patted your head as he walked past you. You nodded your head, heading back out to the living room. You went to your office and got some medications for Jimin to take before he went to bed.

“Here.” You gave it to him with some water. He downed them in one shot and you took a seat on the adjacent couch beside Yoongi. They all spoke business while you tried your best to stay awake but it was all too boring.

You didn’t know when you fell asleep but when Yoongi felt a weight on his shoulder, he turned to see you fast asleep.

“Don’t move.” Jin whispered harshly.

“Why did you think I would?!” Yoongi hissed, stiff as a board. Even though you were only lying on Yoongi, the rest were also frozen, as if them moving would cause you to wake up too.

“What should we do?” Jimin asked.

“Jungkook can carry her, like the other time.” Hoseok suggested. Just as Jungkook stood up to head to you, you stirred, snuggling close to Yoongi.

“Maybe don’t move her? For now at least?” Taehyung put his hand out to stop the maknae. Yoongi took another glance at your sleeping figure and nodded in agreement with the younger.

“Chim, you should turn in first. You’re still ill. If doc wakes up and finds out, we’ll all be dead.” Namjoon chuckled and the rest laughed in agreement. Even when you were asleep, the boys were still afraid of your wrath. Jimin nodded his head obediently, standing up with Taehyung and retreating.

“Hyung, what about you?” Jungkook asked.

“I’ll stay here a while more. Maybe she will wake up later. You guys go ahead.” Yoongi waved them all off, unbothered. He took his phone out and began scrolling through it.

“Hmm, you sure?” Jin tilted his head. Yoongi nodded in confirmation.

“You wanna try and wake her up instead? Be my guest.” Yoongi challenged with a teasing smirk.

“Goodnight, hyung! Call me if your shoulder breaks!” Jungkook zoomed out of there so quickly no one saw him. The rest put their hands up in defence too, heading out of the room and into their own for the night. Before leaving, Hoseok placed a blanket over the both of you. Yoongi scoffed at the maknae’s words, leaning his head back against the couch.

The next morning, the butler was patrolling the house when he hushed the maids, seeing two figures on the couch. You were still there, fast asleep with a sleeping Yoongi’s head resting on top of yours.

Ko-fi link

Series Masterlist

Tag list 1

@veronawrites @diamonddia-mond @georgie-me-myself-i @saveme-imfine @openup-yourmind @purelyecstacy @nlost21 @yiyi4657 @kimmieloveswho @i-like-puppy-mg @cait-with-luv @s-tae-rrynight @supertweetycherry @carolinexkpop @unatempesta-dipensieri @telepathylftv @taradevonne @top-crop @ifellinluvwithdorks @btslvts @bt21chim @kpopiskpopyunho @egm09 @designjet @lasagnaisjustspaghetticake @3musez @bangtansleftnut @deeepvibes @barbikatherine @xxminilah @missmxqn @kimahnjung98 @jbunnys-world @itspwi @gold--gucciempress @rainbow-zebra-unicorns @sinceritythatcouldntbedelivered @holaaaf @aconfusedidentity @samararose21 @shondlenoodle @singhsahara @scuzmunkie @foulstarfishprincess @fenderbenderr @uraveragefangirlsposts @jikook-enthusiasts @wendyiiwl @amyniu @bipolargal

Taglist 2

@vivpurple7 @mintvender @xcharlottemikaelsonx @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @imyourapocalypse @yeotlny @thatonepotatogurl @queenofthe-bitches @rosesolitaire @nello-rie @beach-bitch-bitch-beach @blauuu-adl @chickencrimpyy @purplelady85 @blglmgk01 @nochujeonjk @kevinssecretplace4546 @growlingyu @missseoulite @ngcxjnny @silscintilla @miyochan @skyys-universe @gimmythatjib00ty

798 notes · View notes

harlowsage · 3 years

Text

Strange (CH)

{Part 2}

Pair: Calum Hood & Jude Armenta (fictional character)

Summary: this chapter is based on the song “Holding out for you” by Pond. A year has passed since the pair have broken up. Calum runs into Jude and they catch up on life.

Warning: mention of anxiety and therapy.

Character Preface: Jude Armenia is a Grammy award winning producer (sound engineer, mixer, songwriter, composer). She’s very well known and respected among musicians.

https://harlowsage.tumblr.com/post/660386524153675776/strange-ch

{Above is the link to Part 1👆🏼}

https://harlowsage.tumblr.com/post/660922684542238720/strange-ch-chapter-3

{Link to Part 3 of strange👆🏼}

{This is part 2 of Strange👇🏼}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sight of her made him freeze, causing him to stop in the middle of the road. The walking signal turned off and it was time for the oncoming traffic to proceed, the sound of cars honking woke him out of his still state catching the attention of Jude who was now looking up from her journal.

“Huh?”, her head tilted to the side as she watched him jog over to the sidewalk on her side of the road.

“Calum? Cal!”, she jumped up from her seat and waved him over with delight.

Whether they haven’t spoken in a year or the fact that he’s her ex, none of it mattered since at the end of the day she loved him.

Calum walked up to her, his hand scratching the back of his neck as a lopsided boyish grin plagued his sun kissed face.

“I almost didn’t recognize you, sheesh you’ve gotten buff. What are you lifting, like 250?” She laughed while reaching her arms out to him, pulling him into a warm hug.

Calum instinctively wrapped his arms around her shoulders hugging her back, as if 365 days haven’t passed with zero contact.

“295 actually”, he chuckled as they pulled apart.

“Jesus Christ, you cave man. The buff look suits you”, she grinned while gesturing him to join her and take a seat, which he did without a second thought.

“Your hair, it looks really nice on you”, he complimented her, making sure to not step over any boundaries.

“That’s good considering I didn’t have a choice but to chop it, I visited my brother a few months back and just my luck my niece and nephew had gotten lice from school”, she laughed with a slight groan, her nose scrunched in that cute way calum loved.

“Ah shit, not the little groms giving miss entomophobia the crawlees”, he chuckled, leaning back into his seat feeling more relaxed than nervous.

“It was a brutal week. Nonetheless it was nice having Layla be all motherly, washing my hair and picking the nasties off me”, she smiled at the fond memory.

Since Judes mother passed when she was a little girl, she never really got to experience what it’s like to have that motherly touch.

“As long as you had a good time, I know how little you get to visit them”, he hummed acknowledged her busy schedule.

“Much to your surprise, I’ve been setting aside work so I can become one with reality. Just like how you always used to tell me” she smiled coyly, her hands fidgeting with the pages of her journal.

“Seriously? What made you finally take a step back?” He asked, now sitting up straight, intrigued by this new Jude.

“You, actually. A few months after we broke up, my health was seriously declining. I never noticed that the only reason I was staying up and running was because you would remind me to take care of myself. With you absent in my life, my body couldn’t keep up with my brain. The amount of times I’ve had to get a liquid IV stuck into my arm began to become tedious”, Jude explained not meeting Calums eyes.

Admitting this information to him, embarrassed her. She never wanted Calum to know how bad things had gotten for her, but she’s never been able to not tell Calum everything. Talking to him came so naturally to her.

“Fucking hell, Jude I hate to hear that was happening to you. You’re ok now, right? You’re taking care of yourself?” He asked, now noticing just how thin she’s gotten.

“Of course! I have a nutritionist and I’m seeing a therapist twice every two weeks. Apparently I have anxiety, which explains a hell of a lot. The reason I worked so hard before was because, whenever I wasn’t working, my brain would be running a mile a minute”, she sighed, exasperated at the memories of her feeling off and not knowing why.

“That does explain a lot. I thought I caused it, then again I never knew the Jude before I entered her life” he hummed, taking in the new information she just gave him.

“You thought you caused my problem with overworking myself?” She asked, voice laced with shock.

“Well of course Jude, you stoped talking to me and I hardly got any time with you anymore. You were always taking on new projects when it came time for us to spend time together. I thought I had pushed you away”, Calum explained, his hands moving in big gestures showing her just how freaked out he was about the whole situation.

“Cal, no, you never pushed me away. I hate that you blamed yourself. It’s just really chaotic up in the noggin. But not anymore, I’m doing great. You’ll be happy to know I’m on a very long break from work. Made my manager turn down a fuck ton of projects so I can have a breather”, Jude laughed, excited at the thought of what she’ll be filling up her time doing on her hiatus.

“It’s like I’m talking to a whole new person. You’ve never turned down projects, even when you were working on 3 other ones”, he shook his head, eyes slightly wide, with a happy smile planted on his plump lips.

“Enough about me, what have you been up to!?” She asked leaning towards with her chin propped on her fist, giving him her full undivided attention.

“Well, the boys and I finished recording our next album. Now we’re just laying on some finishing touches before we send it in. On my free time, I’ve been taking Duke on morning hikes and learning how to surf. Aside from that, nothing much. Just living that slow paced life”, he chuckled at the current sight of her, staring up at him with her big doe eyes and wide toothy smile.

“Sounds like you’re living the life”, Jude hummed.

“More or less”, he shrugged.

“Say, you wanna grab dinner with me tonight? I discovered this super low key and authentic Italian restaurant near Cattle,” she asked him, her left hand in her lap secretly crossing her fingers.

“Why the hell not, I’ll break my carb diet for you”, he smiled as a soft laugh escaped his lips.

“I missed this”, she sighed happily.

“Me too”, Calum shyly smiled, hoping she’s feeling the same thing that he is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lemme know what you think :) feed back is appreciated. Where would you like to see these two go?

#calum hood fic #calum hood smut #calum hood blurbs #calum hood fluff #calum hood fanfic #calum hood imagine #calum 5sos #calum 5sauce #calum fic #calum hood #5 seconds of smut #5sos imagine #5sos smut #5sos blurbs #5sosedit #5sos

13 notes · View notes

yourclownpal · 3 years

Text

A comprehensive list of all my Ghost au's

this post will be talking about all of the ghost au's ive created or co-created including talking about ghost au's from old fandom's that i am no longer in. if you want to ask about any of my au's my ask box and dm's are always open this includes the hermitcraft au but keep it to a minimum please also if any of the creator's of the characters have said that they arent comfortable with what im making ( with proof ofc) i will edit or delete what is needed to fit in the boundaries also another thing this is a long post if you just want the art go under the cut! this post will discuss how each au works and basic plot stuff about them the fandoms in this post are hermitcraft, epithet erased, and dsmp okay first things first-

my hermitcraft au (what a pity)-

On my old tumblr account I made a few posts about it along with a fanfic which never got finished due to me not wanting to interact with the fandom any more due to personal reasons and also I'm not very good at writing imo but I think I'm ready to talk about it again. Just keep in mind i will most likely not talk about this fandom ever again at least not on here again for personal preference : -) it was about season 6 Grian since he was who i was hyperfixating on at the time, being haunted by the ghosts of Sam and Taurtis, both of them from the old roleplay series' Yandere High School, and Tokyo Soul, and taurtis from Grians old-ish smp Evo. Since I never finished the fanfiction nobody but me and close friends ever got to hear the full story i had planned but now you will i guess. It was mainly just grian stressing about Sam and Taurtis being ghosts and him worrying about being crazy, though he would still join the hippies during the area 77 war he would be significantly more stressed especially when finding out that Sam and Taurtis have been possessing his body during the night, he’s more worried about Sam though because of his track record back in the other servers( yhs and ts) it was going to be that Sam (although death isn't permanent) would go on a killing spree in Grians body which would cause the area 77 guys to put him in the facility to see what's going on with him, and it didn't get further then that. My favorite part of this au much like all of my au’s were the design elements i had for it which i'll have under the cut with the other designs. Now for a rundown of how the ghost physics work in this world, in typical ghost fashion Sam and Taurtis were not able to touch or move anything, but they were able to interact with Grian, him being the only person who could see/hear/or touch them. Their only super natural abilities is being able to possess Grian.

Okay! Time for my Epithet Erased au!: Unlike what a pity this one doesn't have a name or a fanfic to go with it as said before i'm not exactly a writer but i have talked about it a bit before on this account along with posting the designs and general concept but i'll go more in depth here! As said in my original post this au was a co-creation with my best friend and sibling @brocolibean so go check bun out ^^ Unlike ‘What a Pity’ it was more lighthearted and comedy centric because it dealt with a bit more and also the original show is a comedy. This au didn't include the character’s epithets so they are all humans. This will also include talking about house each ghost died so if your uncomfortable hearing about that you might want to skip the ghosts portion Just like the original post I'll separate the story summary into 3 parts with intervals in between to talk about the ghosts. First we have the Banzai boys part of the story. Giovanni, Spike, Dark Star, Crusher, Flame Thrower, Car Crash, and Ben all decide to move into a house together so they could all easily split the rent since its close to their collage, the house, which they get for cheap, is aa very old house with sketchy history. But it's a huge house for cheap so they don't complain they encounter the ghosts very early on living in the house and they swear to figure out how they died so they can get their memory back! The ghosts, Molly, Sylvie, Trixie, and Pheonica have no memory! All they know is that there are ghosts! They are connected to the property of this house but if you where to get something- like perhaps a stone from the property the ghost is still technically attached to it therefore the ghost can go with you anywhere Speaking of- -Phoenicia Fleecity is one of the last ghosts to show herself, her body is found in the overgrown garden flowers growing over her skeleton, she is from the victorian era making her the oldest out of the ghosts though he death is the most mysterious -Molly Blindeff is the first ghost the group meets her decomposed body is found buried in the floorboards of the living room, found when gio decided that the house needed renovation and taking matters into his own hands, she died via blunt force trauma i will not be going into detail here because i'm still thinking of doing something with this au she died in the early 2000’s -Sylvester Ashling is the second ghost to show himself though he didn't want to, his body was found in the bottom of the pond in the backyard of the house in the garden. His body while it was decomposing and falling apart was still intact, bloated from drowning. Again i wont go into detail but this wasn't an accident time of death is unknown -Trixie Roughhouse is the third person to show themselves to the Banzai Blasters she is found in the bushes in the backyard her face disfigured from some sort of explosion unlike the others it seems like it was purely an accident, like sylvie their time of death is unknown Mera Salamin is the collages part time librarian nicknamed “the library witch” she started seeing her ghost after obtaining a neck bow with a blue pendant from a pawnshop she got it cause it was pretty and didn't expect a himbo to come along with it -Indus Tarbella is a ghost who is attached to the pendant and bow Mera wear it used to be his own until he was decapitated wearing it through he was properly buried he has no troublesome memories about what happened even after seeing his body he’s just happy to be with Mera Percival King is a security guard at the college and one of the best at that, she wields a story she got from a pawn shop as its her preferred weapon she takes her job very seriously -Ramsey and Zora both died by the same sword while fighting neither remember who wielded the sword, even after death they hate each other and hate being bound together even more Everyone ends up meeting and finding out they all have ghost hijinks ensue. The way ghosts work in this world is a bit strange I'll admit but it's one of my favorites. The ghosts can interact with the human world(menma style) but

they can only talk to the others who can see them (the Banzai Blasters, mera and percy) and the ghosts can interact with each other ghosts in this au attach themselves to an item or property that has someway to do with their death, the kids in the property, Indus it's the bow, and the sword duo is well, the sword Percy carries. As alluded to from before Gio and the rest of the boys end up carrying a bit of the property with them in the form of friendship bracelets four for each of them which makes 28 different bracelets so the kids can decide who to follow around for the day.i talked about how percy and Mera’s items work enough but i would like to mention that Indus does most of the heavy lifting around the library but becaus enoone else can see indus they assume she’s magical, the glowing pendant doesn't help.

The last two au’s i want to talk about are both dream smp au’s

though i've never talked about them online until now, again thanks to @brocolibean for letting me brain vomit my way through these au’s and helping me out with things i love them please check him out I'll be honest i'm so scared of this fandom so i'm afraid to talk about my au’s please be nice to me Also this is all roleplay and fiction!<3 The first one i'll talking about is the dsmp ghost hunters au Sam runs a company where groups of people hunt ghosts for money! Those groups being Phil, Technoblade, Wilbur,Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo Dream, George, Sapnap, Quackity, Karl Bad, ant, Skeppy, and Puffy There’s most likely more but there the only people i can think of at this moment The only canonical ghost being Schlatt This au doesn't have a proper story perse it's more about gags and stuff about the different character fighting over ghosts for money but the story stuff i do have- Sbi family dynamic is real here you can rejoice, Phil adopts Tubbo after his dad (Schlatt) kicks the bucket and fucking dies , Tubbo befriend’s Ranboo some mysterious teen who just desperately needs a job so he- and the rest of the Minecraft family help him get one- though they find out Ranboo isnt as human as he was made out to be and he finds out he’s this worlds version of angels called ender’s and he’s there to protect Tubbo and Tommy which explains why the more violent ghosts start being less violent at the arrival of Ranboo joining their team. Bad isn't human either being a demon his entire group know’s plus quackity. Quackity found out but squirting him with holy water through a water gun but don't worry he promised not to tell anyone; -) Bad and Ranboo know about each other because they see each other as their true forms The minecraft fam found out about Schlatt being a ghost through Tommy- despite Tubbo telling him not to- telling them from calling up and paying for them to investigate their own house saying “technically i didn't tell them” they ended up not getting rid of Schlatt though I'm not going to talk about how the ghosts here work because it's not super important to the plot

The second au is another ghost au where the main characters are ghosts themselves,

like the others its mainly lighthearted and comedic with dark attributes The plot surrounds the sbi family moving into a new house and Tommy finding out it's being haunted by two ghost’s. Those ghosts being Tubbo and Ranboo This au isn't fully figured out but I know that he found out he was haunted by sending a selfie to someone(possibly Drista and Purpled? Since there are only other minors who were part of the dsmp lore? But ultimately idk) and them being like “yo i didn't know you had friends” and him being like “?????” Tubbo died from a boiler exploding and Ranboo died from drowning (which are apparently my two favorite deaths) this also doesn't have an official story? It was just an excuse to make ghost designs with a bit of a story without the commitment As said before it's a sbi au but also a Dadschlatt au cuz I like Dadschlatt au’s. The main story bits i have are background stuff for Tubbo and Ranboo which ill elaborate now The house was originally meant to be just a summer home because it had a large lake in the backyard Ranboo’s family would go there often but that doesn't mean his family liked him very much because of his heterochromia, Vitiligo, and his height his family thought he was strayed from god and drowned him Tubbo died during sleep while Schlatt wasn't home either out drinking or just at work he came home to the house being partially blown up and his son nowhere to be seen he calls Puffy out of fear and she calls the cops. He moves away and most likely starts drinking a bit more. The house gets rebuilt and now the sbi live there hijinks ensue! The ghosts in this au work in a simpler manor only Tommy can see them unless a photo is taken but even then they are blurred, they can float and go through walls and their ability to touch things is limited Ranboo’s memory is worse then Tubbo’s but Tubbo’s isn’t much better.

below the cut will be designs and stuff be safe pal's- there will be minor/cartoony blood-

rip me exposing my old art on this account also i'm ripping these from my fucking amino account that i don't use but still have the password too

gonna do the original what a pity drawins first them ill show a more recent rendition because i hate the old drawings

these are the old drawins i hate them

then,,, i just drew them,,,,, fuck these guys/j

thses are the old sprite edits of these four! trixies design is the only one that really changed

the ded;-; i couldnt fit him on the page

there he is! ft indus and very much alive mera(who i cant figure out how to FUCKING DRAW-)

gay's get wilbur'd/j

they lookin for ghosts

the whole fmaily is here but its quality is shit

these bitches dead! good for them,,, good for them,,,,,,/j/rp

41 notes · View notes

ofieugogyshz · 3 years

Text

Fic;; Memories: Riolu IV

Word Count: 8900 officially over 9000 now

Summary: Sarah accepts Cynthia’s invitation to visit her in Celestic Town. On her second day there, she finds herself visiting Cynthia in her grandmother’s home, and, once again, facing an internal struggle that her Riolu, Lance, and Cynthia, were set on helping her with.

Warnings: Lots of bad mental health, self-depreciation spirals, abusive thoughts to self. Also some awkwardness. (But it gets better!)

Notes: This is the thing that’s just been. taunting and harassing me for weeks, and i am so done with it. i am so sorry that it’s like, 2x as long as the others. I really hope it’s worth it to you guys, because I am just so done with it. Edit: Fixed up some spots, and re-pasting it added paragraph indents, so ????

(Series Masterpost)

---------------------

After helping me with my Riolu, Cynthia invited me to visit her in Celestic Town.

“I'll be there for a while, researching more myths.”

I told her yes, but when she offered to take me with her, I declined. I said that I wanted to walk the rest of the route to fulfill my Pokedex.

“Oh, you're working on a Pokedex? That sure takes me back...” She had a wistful look on her face. “I went on a big adventure with a Pokedex when I was younger.” I told her to share with me some of those stories when I met up with her in Celestic Town. She gave me her number, and we parted ways for the time being.

I spent the rest of that day and the next playing with my Riolu named Lance to make up for the issues we had ran into. Totally not connected to the Lance of fame. Yep. Definitely not. But it wasn't like I had that much of a choice. My friend, his father's trainer, had named him that for me as a cute little joke. I suppose I could have picked a name and told my friend to name it that. But I wanted to know what a Pokemon was like before I named it; and without the Pokemon in front of me, it was so hard to find an appropriate name. But watching Riolu-- little Lance fight our way up Route 210, I couldn't help but think that maybe my friend Blaze had the right idea in naming him after him. He was definitely strong and determined like his namesake, and showed plenty of care towards other Pokemon.

<<Can we call my namesake today? I wanna tell him how strong I got!!>>

I laughed. Now that I had accepted it, it was cute whenever he asked to talk to Lance. Lance—the human-- thankfully couldn't understand what the little Riolu was saying, but watching him entertain the notion was cute. Endearing. Enjoyable.

I looked at the time. Lance might be available now...? I had tried calling him earlier, but it went straight to voicemail. Probably working, I thought to myself.

“Let's try again after we get to the Pokemon Center in Celestic, so you guys can see each other with the videophones.”

And so we went through the rest of the route. It was a rather annoying route; there were many obstacles in our way, not including the fog that limited visibility. It took a few days to traverse the rest of the route by foot. I was able to train up my Pokemon a lot more than I expected. But even with the great training it provided, I was so relieved when I finally saw the rustic buildings nestled away in the mountain range. Even if it hadn't been Celestic, I would have been grateful just to stay a few nights away from the mess that was the foggy mountainside.

It was daytime when we arrived. I immediately looked for the Pokemon Center and checked in. When my Pokemon were returned, I let Lance out of his Pokeball.

“You know what, I think I'mma call you 'Little Lance', if that's alright with you? It's a little confusing talking to my friends about the both of you...” That was only partially a lie. I thought it might help distinguish them, yes, but I also still felt a little embarrassed calling him by that name... I was hoping a working towards a middle-ground might help.

Lance considered it for a moment, then shook his head.

<<Nope.>>

“Aw, but c'mon! It's super cute, calling you 'Little Lance'. Ooh! I could even call you 'Lil Lance'”

But he wouldn't budge.

“Ugh, fine then.”

<<Can we try calling Lance now?>> he asked, pointing to the videophones. I thought about it for a moment.

“I suppose so... It's almost time for our weekly call anyways.”

<<Yes!>> Lance curled up his fist and pulled it back in excitement. It was so cute to see him emulating a human gesture; he must've picked that up from me in the last week.

I picked up one of the receivers and dialed Lance's number. My heart was pounding, as it always did whenever I called him. Often I worried that I was being a bother. Things like, “Maybe I should call back later,” would plague my mind. But for some reason, I felt less nervous about it now. Maybe because Lance the Riolu was there, just as happy as I was to talk to him, that it made me feel less scared.

No answer still.

“Hmm... Weird.” The landline recording asked if I wanted to leave a message; I hung up. It wasn't that important to me to miss once. I had to let it not be important.

<<What's wrong?>>

“He isn't answering. Hope everything's alright. He's probably busy with other stuff right now.” I wonder if they officially made him Champion yet, or if they're still filling out the paperwork on that, I thought. He had mentioned that a few weeks ago; though that had little to do with him not answering. My thoughts were wandering far away on the topic, musing on what that conversation would be like when he told me that it was officialized. Lance tugged at my pants.

<<Can we visit Miss Cynthia then?>>

“Yeah, let me just see if she's available.” I pulled out the number she gave me, slowly typing it in. It rang once before being answered. There was no visual, so I found myself staring at a screen that just said “No Visual”, accompanied by the image of a Chatot.

“Hang—Hang on a moment.” Cynthia's voice sounded far away and strained, like she was just out of reach of her phone. The distant sound made me curious on how she had answered it, but I didn't have time to think about that, because she suddenly came in much louder and clearer.

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this Cynthia? It's Sarah.”

“It is! I'm glad to hear from you! Are you nearby? I can go out and meet you if you want.” She sounded eager, excited. Had she been looking forward to this? I didn't think so. I was just a trainer she had met twice; and younger than her, I would later discover. Maybe the sound of her happy voice was because she just had a breakthrough with her research, and she couldn't wait to tell someone. I highly doubted she was excited to hear from me, after all. Not after the impression I gave last time.

Lance looked at me, his ears drooping a little as he examined me. Ah. Right. I shouldn't be thinking a thought like that. I guess that was something both Lances wanted me to work on.

“I'm already at the Pokemon center,” I told her. I scritched behind Lance's ears, making him feel better. It helped me, too. “I just got in.”

“Oh! That's perfect! I'll come get you.”

We hung up. She arrived in about fifteen minutes, brushing dust and dirt off of her coat as she arrived. Based on what I had seen of her in pictures and in person, I never would have imagined that she could look so disheveled.

“Where were you?” I asked. Lance and Pika both ran over to greet her.

“Oh, excavation. Have you learned about the Celestic Ruins yet? It's why I love coming back here so much! I can show you later, if you'd like.”

“N-no, that's fine for right now...”

We hadn't made any plans for the visit, so Cynthia gave me a short tour of the small town. In its center was a crater, and in the center of that crater was a small shrine. She told me that it dates back to ancient times; many of the town's residents still prayed to the deities and Pokemon they believed were tied to it. Behind the shrine was a cave; on each side of the cave's entrance were two large drawings, of what I presumed were ancient or mythological Pokemon. Beyond that, there was little of interest to passing trainers. The town was so small that it lacked a proper Pokemart. Instead, an old couple sold things from their home for any passing trainers that needed to restock between Mt. Coronet and their next destination. I wasn't sure if it was surprising or just interesting that the Champion considered this town her favorite.

For lunch, she took me to one of the few places to eat in the small town. While there wasn't much to catch Cynthia up on, I found myself excitedly telling her how Lance and I got along better since we last saw each other. She listened intently, speaking thoughtfully and giving me advice. I found myself asking her for a casual battle-- not one with her title on the line, but as between new friends.

“Very well then,” she said. “I should let you know-- I plan on going all out!”

“Couldn't ask for a better match myself!”

I sent out a Luxio and a Roselia, both Pokemon that I had caught here in Sinnoh. They were doing great at Gym Battles, and I figured the experience with a Champion might help them grow even stronger. Cynthia quirked an eyebrow, interested in the unspoken challenge of a doubles battle. She sent out a Garchomp and a Gastrodon. The double Earthquake duo had a huge advantage over Luxio; Roselia could handle Gastrodon, but that still left her Garchomp. As we battled, I did my best to keep my two Pokemon from fainting, but there was only so much they could do at their current strength. We both called back our Pokemon when the battle was over.

“That was a great match! The confidence in which you issued your commands allowed your Pokemon to trust you, and they responded well! I can't wait to have another battle with you when they've gotten stronger.”

“Tch...” Though she gave me high praise, the defeat still stung. “We should have another match with my aces.”

“Hmm. Perhaps another day... Don't forget that the key to growing as a trainer is to challenge yourself! Playing it safe is going to deprive yourself of new possibilities.”

She was right on both counts. One battle was enough for now. I had gotten a glimpse of what waited for me when I would challenge the Sinnoh Elite Four and its Champion, and I felt myself eager to train with my Pokemon for when that day would come. Beside me, Lance had looked on in awe, little tail wagging during the battle.

<<I want to battle too!>> he said to me. I knelt down to pat his head.

<<Maybe next time.>>

The next day, I headed over to where Cynthia was staying. We realized that we had a shared interest in mythology, so she invited me over to look at some of the texts that her and her grandmother kept. Pika followed behind me with Lance. I could hear the both of them talking happily amongst themselves, and I smiled. It was nice to hear him feeling like a member of the team again.

When I got to the address Cynthia gave me, an older woman answered the door. She adjusted her glasses, looking me up and down.

“Um, hi. I'm here because Cynthia invited me. This... is the right address, yes?” I looked at the address she had hastily scrawled down for me, and showed it to the woman. She didn't bother looking at it.

“That's correct. My granddaughter told me that she would be having a friend come over. Didn't think it'd be someone so young.” I winced. She motioned for me to come in, closing the door behind her. I took a look around. Stacks and stacks of paper were all over the living room, or what I thought was supposed to be one. Cynthia's grandmother followed my line of sight and sighed. “Pardon the mess. When we both really get into our research, it shows.”

“Ahaha, it's okay. Kind of reminds me of my room,” I said without thinking. Woops. Probably shouldn't've mentioned that. That wasn't a good impression, but hopefully it wouldn't mean something bad to them, if it came back up.

“In here.” Cynthia's grandmother had led me down the hall and stopped in front of one of the doors. “Cynthia's already in the library. She said she wanted to pull out some texts for you to read before you got here. Knowing her, she's probably already got a huge stack prepared for you. I'll be going out for a walk, so if you need anything, let Cynthia know.”

I was alone in the hall with my Pokemon. Lance and Pika stood on either side of me, looking up at me. I was a little nervous, and her grandmother's comment on my age left me feeling a little unsettled. Was she expecting someone older? How much older? I just realized that I don't even know how old Cynthia is! Is it really okay to call ourselves friends if she's much older than me? But I found the nerves paling in comparison to my excitement. I was excited to have someone else to call a friend; excited that the local Champion had called me a friend to her grandmother. But more importantly, I was excited to see the library that she had. All the books, all the texts, the myths and years of research that people had put into studying these things-- even if I was only interested in reading only the myths, being surrounded by so many books would be so exciting! Old books had that especially exciting aesthetic appeal to them, just thinking about it...

<<Are you okay?>> asked Lance. He tugged at my clothes, pulling me out of my reverie.

“Ah, yes. Thank you. Sorry, I got a little excited...”

<<You must really like books.>>

The comment made me smile. I took a deep breath and knocked loudly on the door.

“Come in!” I could hear Cynthia's faint response through the door. I turned the doorknob and pushed.

The sight of so many books greeted me. They were on the walls, stacked against shelving on the walls. Some stacks were so high that some of the desks and chairs were buried and hidden from view. Everywhere I turned was littered with books, folders, and handwritten notes.

“Sarah! I'm so glad to see you!” I could see Cynthia in the center of the room, holding a cup of tea. I could barely make out the sight of some fancy-looking seats centered around a coffee table in the middle of the room. I smiled, and closed the door behind me.

“Thanks for inviting me!” I said. I started walking towards her, my Pokemon carefully hopping from low bookstack to bookstack like the floor was lava. I began to talk excitedly, sentences running into each other as I couldn't wait to share what I had to say. “I'm so glad you asked me to come over, this is so amazing, and---L-Lance!!! W-w-what're y-you doing h-here?”

I stopped dead in my tracks, face flushing, unaware that there was going to be company. Much less company that I liked.

<<I'm sorry, was I not supposed to jump on the books?>> asked my Riolu. The sudden change in my reaction, the strange query mentioning his name, had left him confused. It took him a moment to realize what was going on with me. He looked to where I was stuck staring, as though I were stricken with a Glare attack and could not look away. I heard a happy yip from him, and he ran towards the red-headed trainer that was seated on the couch.

<<It's him!!! It's him!! My namesake!! We get to meet my namesake!!!>

“You must be the little Riolu that I've been talking to over the phone!” I heard Lance say. He caught the little Riolu, ruffling the top of his head. My Riolu looked up at him, starry-eyed, before turning back to me. I was still stricken to the spot. Cynthia came over to me, gently pushing me behind the back to lead me to a chair that was seated on the side, between both of theirs.

“Come on in! Don't be afraid to sit down with us!”

“I-I'm not!” I said quickly, the words out of my mouth before I realized what they were. I shut my mouth right then, glancing at Lance, before looking back at Cynthia. She gave no indication that this was intentional, but I had the underlying sense that it was... I was suddenly hyperaware of how I presented myself. I quickly placed my hands in my lap. I kept my legs together, though one foot would begin bouncing in place before I knew it.

Pika had heard the excited commotion and came over to me, peeking her head over a pile of books to look. When she saw who it was, she ran over and happily nuzzled Lance on the cheek.

I felt simultaneous embarrassment and envy of her at that moment. I could have cried. I wanted to cry.

Sensing the conflicting emotions, Lance-- the Riolu-- came over to me and climbed into my lap. He was emanating so much happiness from meeting Lance –the human-- that it started to put me at ease. I wrapped my arms around my Riolu, gently resting my chin on his head, wishing I could have fiddled with something instead.

I watched as Lance picked up my Pikachu and set her down on the couch, gently scritching her under the chin.

“And hello to you too, Pika! It's been awhile since we've seen each other, hasn't it friend?”

“Chu! Pika pikachu!!”

<<My namesake! My namesake!!!>>

This was going to give me a headache, if I didn't die from embarrassment first. I tried to suppress a groan, and looked to Cynthia once more, trying to get help from her. Any kind of help. But her attention was already towards Lance, ignoring my distress.

“I'm glad to see that you're such good friends with Sarah's Pokemon already.”

“I've met her Pikachu several times, both in and out of battle. The Riolu is new.” He turned towards me. “I hope he hasn't been giving you too much trouble?”

I sat up straight when he addressed me. “Hm?! Oh! Um, n-no, not recently,” I said, lying a little. But I could feel Riolu become a little angry with me for the lie. He didn't like me being dishonest, it seemed. “A-actually, Cynthia helped us with a, uh, misunderstanding about a week ago, so things are actually better than before!” I gave him a nervous smile.

“I see.”

“It was moving to see. Sarah really is passionate about her Pokemon.”

“Y-yeah, I am.” I turned towards Lance, asking him the same question that I asked earlier when I came in.

“W-what are you doing here, Lance? I thought you were busy, with, um. League stuff?”

“Cynthia invited me to come out. She said that she's found an ancient connection between Sinnoh and Johto, and asked if I was interested.”

“But aren't you supposed to be at the league right now?”

“Since we're still in the process of obtaining a new Elite Four member to replace me, the League's been closed. I normally have time off from the Pokemon G-Men when the League is open, so I haven't had as much to do for the time being.” He looked at me, a curious expression on his face. “Why, did you want me to be there?”

“W-what?! Uh, no, I guess? I think?” I didn't know if that was the right answer or not. This was making me so nervous, so on edge. I didn't know which way I should play into this. “I just thought that you wouldn't be able to come this far north, is all.” I looked away, cheeks flushing a little. “You never mentioned it in any of our e-mails or calls.”

“It was last minute,” Cynthia interrupted. I looked over at her; she had been watching the conversation. Her legs were crossed, one elbow propped up on a knee as she rested her chin on the back of her hand. She had an inscrutable smile on her face, but the body language told me all I needed to know. She definitely planned this. I felt my face grow hotter as I realized it, and all the implications that could mean. Riolu squeaked as my arms tightened around him.

Cynthia continued. “I had the breakthrough a few days ago, and I thought he'd be interested. I found some text that suggests that Sinnohans may have moved over to Johto, but the connecting thread mentions a cave that no one's been able to find in Johto. Not yet, anyways.”

“She thought that I might like to try and find it.”

“Ah.... I see...”

“Oh! Before I forget, these are some of the books I wanted to show you, Sarah.” Cynthia got up to grab a small handful of books. She placed a few of them on the table in front of me; I was so apprehensive of the situation now that I couldn't even glance at their titles. My Riolu looked at the books curiously. “You might enjoy familiarizing yourself with Sinnoh's myths and traditions. It's a region that's full of beauty and history!”

She handed Lance the other books she held. I watched as she spoke so passionately to him about the ruins that she had found mentioned in her texts. I found myself a little jealous. Cynthia was a beautiful, confident, and an amazing trainer. She had no problems talking to Lance and keeping him invested in a conversation. And I could barely talk to him without becoming extremely flustered, stuttering and stumbling over my words, uncertain of which ones to say at all. I wanted to say all of them, in all the ways and combinations, until I could find the best ones to say to him. But with that desire to talk to him came the same conflict of being noticed, of being watched, of being paid attention to. As much as I wanted it, I didn't want it; because if he saw me, then he was watching me. And if he was watching me, then that meant that I could be judged one way or the other over something I did. Something I said. The way I looked, the look I gave off. I didn't want him to think less of me because of that. Cynthia, on the other hand, didn't seem to care about the mess that her library was in. She knew who she was and confident that it was more than enough to be liked, to be respected. I yearned to have that kind of confidence, that fearlessness. But I had to be liked. I had to be well-liked. I couldn't stand letting someone think worse of me for an accident or lack of attention or knowledge.

So I sat there, quietly watching the two of them as they became more invested in their conversation, until I thought myself forgotten about. The things they spoke about were beyond my current knowledge, and I, for once, could not interrupt. The two of them got up to look at something else in the library, ancient maps I think. I sunk into my seat, letting out a long sigh. Riolu looked up at me from where he sat in my lap, confused and concerned.

<<What are you feeling right now? I know the confusion.>>

Jealousy, I thought back. I was jealous of her. Not to a bitter extent, but... She probably could have-- I couldn't finish the thought, the mere idea of it making me hurt. I wanted to cry. Riolu turned around to press his forehead against mine.

<<I don't understand your feelings, but I do know that you're in pain right now. I hope you can feel better.>>

“Thanks.”

I watched as Cynthia helped Lance find reference materials for the Sinjoh ruins that she talked about. He hadn't heard of it before, and Cynthia speculated it was somewhere far north of his hometown. Lance placed a hand on his chin as he thought, looking carefully at the maps she had on the wall and the documents she showed him. It looked natural, seeing them together. Perhaps if I was in a better place emotionally, I could have enjoyed watching him in a different element.

The two of them seemed to flow well together, I found myself thinking as I observed them. I didn't want to, but it came unbidden. They looked good together. People probably think... nicer things about the two of them together than if it were me with him. I was not pretty. Today, I didn't feel smart enough to even join in their conversation, though I obviously could have picked up the information. I couldn't deny that, and so, the argument inside my head began.

My thoughts struggled between telling me I was worthless as a trainer and proving all of it wrong. I was good at Pokemon battles, and I had defeated the Champions from Kanto and Hoenn, but I didn't choose to take that role of responsibility that came with being Champion. It wasn't something I could do. It required a lot of work, and I wouldn't have been free to continue on my own journey. On the other hand, it wasn't impressive to not take up the position. That was the only thing I was confident about. All those achievements didn't mean that I'd be interesting to someone. Someone that I struggled to initiate a conversation with, and sometimes procrastinated replying to text or email messages to, and thought for hours on a reply, just because I didn't want to worry about him thinking awful of me. But...

My eyes roved over to where the two of them talked. I felt something awful in the pit of my stomach. A pang of jealously.

I wish I could be like her.

Anyone but myself.

Ugh. I hated these thoughts. But once they started, they wouldn't stop coming.

If he got with me, it would be such a joke. The media would have a field day. And why would he even get with me? Because I have a one-sided crush? That's bullshit. Plus, she can talk to him about things, and hold a conversation, and, damn, even get him to travel to another region for just a myth that she thought he might be interested in? I can't even do that. I mean, I never asked him, but why would I? I know he won't show, even if he didn't have all those responsibilities. And I'm strong as a trainer, but I'm not as experienced as her. I can't even accept that my own selfish feelings might be hurting my Pokemon. I thought I knew a lot, but it's just as much hot air as Eusine. And then there's just... UGH. Expecting someone to get with me, looking like this? A Milktank, no a Snorlax-- wait what was that cat they have here? Purugly. I'm so ugly, so awful--

<<Sarah?>>

It was a sound like a cold drop of water. The burning, burdening chaotic swirl of thoughts stopped, for just a moment. Riolu's thought was like a cool, soothing balm. I opened my eyes. I hadn't even realized that I had them shut, tears welling up in the corner. He touched his forehead to mine. After a few moments, I felt a calming wave of energy sweep through my body, relaxing all the muscles that had tensed.

<<Better?>> he asked, thoughts full of concern.

Yeah, I thought back. I hugged him tight, closing my eyes again. That helped a bit. Thanks.

<<Good. Because you got Miss Cynthia's attention.>>

That made me jump. I opened my eyes again to see her standing nearby, a gentle smile on her face.

"Are you doing okay, Sarah?" she asked me quietly.

"Uhm.. Mm… y-yeah. I-I'm okay now."

"That's good. I'd hate for you to feel awful while we're all here." She gently ran her hand along the back of my head, and rested it on my shoulder. "Please, have some tea. Or, if you'd like, there are more beverages in the kitchen. I could get you something to drink.”

I looked at her, then looked over to where Lance was, still invested in the scrolls.

"Uh, um. No, I'm okay. I have water in my bag. Thank you."

It was strange. She had such a caring aura about her that I wanted to break down and cry to her. To let her know about everything that was upsetting me, including how I was both jealous of her, and that I admired her. That I hated my conflicting feelings. That I lacked the courage I would otherwise have, when it came to Lance. I wanted to ask her for advice, but I hated the idea of needing to seek it. Knowing that she showed so much care to me, a trainer she had only met a few times, was enough to make me want to break down.

But my Riolu, Lance, continued to emanate calm energy, keeping me from reacting in a way that I would have hated. He didn't understand it, but he understood enough to know that keeping me calm was what I needed most at the moment. Crying was one of the last things that I had wanted to do.

<<Thank you, Lance.>> I thought to my Riolu. I'd have to remember to give him a good treat later on.

"Do you want to step outside for a bit?" Cynthia asked me suddenly.

I blinked. I looked up at her, confused. Was she… Trying to get me to leave the room? But… did that maybe mean….

As though reading my thoughts, she quickly added, "I could give you a tour of the house. Though, I suppose we should avoid my room, it is a bit messy from all the paperwork…."

"I, uh…"

"Great!” She turned her head, calling out over her should, “Lance, we'll be back in a bit. If you're interested, there's some books I found on the Johto region, pre-dating the Tin and Brass Towers in that corner over there."

She got me to take off my bag and come with her. Riolu followed, though he didn't have much choice as my emotional support Pokemon at the moment. Pika stayed behind; she was enjoying the small snacks that Cynthia had left out. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her.

Cynthia gently guided me towards the back of the house. And by gently, I meant that she gently pushed me towards the back, ignoring all confused protests with cheerful replies. She led me outside, to where there was a wide, empty dirt yard. She let out her Lucario, much to the joy of my own Riolu, who now squirmed in my arms so he could say hello to his newfound hero.

"Gahhh… I'm sorry about all this. I should have thought more carefully about it or let you know that he was coming over."

"Wait, so it was planned?" I said, turning around on her. I didn't know if I should have been more angry or shocked that she knew all along about my feelings towards that Lance, and still let this happened. “Or at least the him coming over part…?"

Cynthia leaned against the banister of the porch. She didn't say anything for a moment, as though she was trying to carefully word her thoughts. I waited, trying not to be angry, trying not to be embarrassed.

"I thought it might help," she finally said.

My emotions decided: I was angry, mad at her, though I couldn't put into words why. But…. I believed her. She really was trying to help me. I could feel it. And as I stared angrily at her, I felt my conviction weaken. Her Lucario stood nearby, palms out; he was using his aura powers to connect our spirits so we could better understand one another.

"...You're really scared about this," she said with a mixture of pity and understanding. “And you're right to feel angry; I should have asked or talked to you about this beforehand.” She slapped her forehead, muttering a simple idiot to herself.

"Y-yeah. Yeah, I really am. Both angry and scared. Because I already did this once, like an idiot, and erroneously assumed that that's what you do to like people. That you just... Decide to. And then you tell them that you want to date them and then you become boyfriend and girlfriend or whatever and it all goes uphill from there. But it didn't. And I'm lucky at all that he still let me get to know him after that. But I guess not enough, if I didn't know that he was coming here..."

Cynthia paused, giving a thoughtful hum. Then, she said in a hopeful tone, "Well, what if he wanted to surprise you? When was the last time you guys got to see each other in person?"

Her questions gave me pause to think. I never considered that, but I also didn't think I was important enough for something like that. Like he'd come all the way out here just to surprise me, when my Pokemon journey meant that I could be anywhere between a city and a route, even stuck somewhere. Sure, I normally tell him where I was heading or planning to go; but there wasn't a guarantee that I would have been here. Or anywhere. Planning a visit was one thing, but a surprise one....?

"C-c'mon now…" I looked away from her, eyes searching ground for things to say. Burnt orange dirt greeted me as an answer. A single rock, a couple of weeds, more dirt. Nothing useful that could be said. “There's no way that he'd... wanna... I mean, I'm not someone important. I'm just a stupid, annoying teen, annoying some guy that I kn--” I stopped, horrified. “Oh Arceus, I should be leaving him alone, shouldn't I?! I bet I seem like some crazy stalker fangirl and-- ugh. Damnit, Sarah, how could you be so stupid!? You're bugging him so much--"

I was cut off as an unlikely hand-chop came down on my head, causing me more surprise than pain. Doink.

"Owwwowowowowow." I clutched at my head, tears curling up in the corners of my eyes from the pain. I looked up at Cynthia, whose hand was still vertical and poised to chop me on the head again. “What'd'you do that for!?”

“What about all those calls?” Her voice was stern.

"Courtesy. He's just doing them out of courtesy, or to be nice, or because I seem crazy enough that if he doesn't he's worried I might--"

Doink.

Another hand-chop to the head.

I rubbed the top of my head, tears welling up in frustration now.

“You need to stop the negative thinking! He wouldn't take the time out of his busy schedule to do all that just because you annoyed him, Sarah. Trust me; I've had my fair share of crazy fans, and I wouldn't let any of them near me like I've let you. I'm not saying this to get your hopes up, but it's clear that he think you're someone worth keeping near. For people like us, where we're constantly being hounded by media and trainers looking for personal gain and not much else, that's a lot. We have our own lives; but it's hard to let people in them. And with the frequency of those calls that you guys have--”

“E-EH?! W-w-wait, y-you know... a-ab-about.... th-those!?” The way she had so casually said it this time had caught me off guard. I don't know why I hadn't froze up at the first mention of the calls mere minute ago.

“Lance told me.” At the sudden deep blush that set across my face, she clarified. “Your Riolu, I mean. ...I see now why the name might have been difficult for you.”

“Oh.” I still felt alarmed, but I relaxed a little. That meant he wasn't sharing stuff like that with other people. Not that I wanted him to. I didn't want to think about what it meant if he was sharing that to someone else, especially not with Cynthia.

“I apologize, for not telling you that he was coming over. You were so afraid and scared to say Lance's name,” she said, nodding towards my Riolu, “that I thought having you come over while he was here might have helped. I didn't let you know because I thought that you might run away... And I thought that you might appreciate the surprise of getting to see him again, in person.”

“I--” I stopped to think about it. She was right; I would have thought about running away. But I realized that, despite all the fluster and frustration and everything else that just happened, it was nice to see him again, in person. I hadn't gotten to see him in person very often the last few years; part of that happily avoiding the awkwardness awarded to me by my thirteen-year-old self, while also us having our own, vastly different paths in life at the time. But, even with the information that Cynthia had now shared with me, I thought that maybe I should keep my distance from him. To leave him alone, and not bug him like I usually did. To not repeat the mistakes of the past. To make sure that I didn't do that.

I really wished I could have been better about that.

“You do like getting to see him again, right?” Cynthia asked me, noticing that my thoughts had started to spiral again. I felt myself flush right up, stammering out a reply.

"I-I… I'mma… Y-you're n-n-not… wr-wrong about… about that…." I crossed my arms, looking away for a moment so I wouldn't have to face the consequences of admitting it.

Cynthia laughed. "Who knows. Maybe this might help you get closer to him, so you're not always stuttering!"

"I'M NOT STUTTERING!!!" I shouted at her, face red. “I just…. Fumble… and stumble… over my, uh, words………."

"Can you even refer to him by name?" she asked, sounding concerned for a moment.

"Err, um… that is to say…. Uh…." I hung my head. "N-no… n-not r-really."

"Why do you think that is?"

"Um…." I paused to think. Why do I have trouble using his name? ...ah. That's why. I looked down, and I picked at the sleeve of my shirt. I didn't want to say the words.

"Because I don't think I'm worthy of saying it."

There was a solemn moment between the two of us. Putting it into words made it feel so surreal. It made no sense to think that way, or feel that way. After all, I was a human. I was a damn Champion; I've beaten his ass at Pokemon battles more times than it was worth, when I was much younger. So then, why did that not mean something? Why was I venerating a name that anyone could have? Even my own Pokemon had suffered because of those feelings.

Then, as I was contemplating the absurdity of it, Cynthia started laughing, wiping tears from her eyes as she approached me.

"Wh-WHAT?!" I shouted, embarrassed and confused. "I REALLY DO THINK- er, feel… That way… I guess."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for laughing. But just… The way you said it--"

"Ugh! Why did I even come out here with you?! I should have just gone off and trained!" I turned away, crossing my arms angrily. She came up and gave me a consoling hug.

"You really shouldn't feel that way about yourself," she said quietly. "Regardless of whether or not you're in love. It's not good to hate yourself like that. You are worth so much, and I see so much potential in you, both as a trainer and as a person. Don't give up on your dreams, because someone told you to feel this way once."

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to will myself not to cry.

“W-what if...” It was a struggle to get the words out. “Wh-what.. i-if.... it w-was... m-m-more... se...several... people?”

“Not even then. Their lies are not what's true about you.”

Her words and compassion had finally gotten me to cry. Feelings that I kept pushed down inside myself burst forth. I turned around and pressed my face against her, trying to hide it, but so painfully aware in some part of my brain that it would result in some snot on her coat. It was embarrassing. But she didn't show anything other than kindness as I broke down. She soothed me with comforting words and hushes, gently rubbing my back. When I had finally stopped, spent of the emotions that I had kept bottled up, she recalled her Lucario and guided me back inside. We stopped in the kitchen for a moment; Cynthia suggested that I get something to drink before returning to the library.

Riolu had followed behind us, watching everything with quiet awe. I could feel that he had a query for me, but he couldn't quite formulate it clearly. And even if he had, I wasn't sure that I could answer him.

“Lance,” Cynthia called out sweetly to my Riolu. “Do you understand what just happened here?”

He shook his head, mouth slightly open.

“Ri.”

“Sometimes, when things hurt for us, we try to hide it. But if we keep doing that, then it gets to be too much to hold back. Sometimes you have to let yourself cry. Or scream. Or whatever it is that your emotions are making you feel. Sarah seems to be especially fond of holding them back. I can't say she's particularly good at hiding them, though.”

“Thanks, Cynthia,” I said wryly, face heating up as I took another drink. It was embarrassing having her explain things to my Pokemon, because it also felt like she was trying to wink-wink-nudge-nudge me about how to solve my own emotional issues. I should have been more than capable of doing that myself, without the explanation from someone else. She continued.

“So if you feel like she's ever in need of letting out her feelings, you might need to pull her aside and get her to open up to you. It might not be as easy as it was today. Sometimes, in order to protect herself from her feelings, she might fight you on it. But you'll have to be patient and wait her out, letting her know that you're there for her.”

“Ri...”

Riolu jumped up to hug me, startling me for a moment.

<<I promise to help take care of you!>> His feeling was sincere. The energy behind it, the strength of his feelings, almost made me cry again. I shook my head, trying to focus elsewhere.

When I calmed down, we walked back to the room. I was staring at the door again, mentally preparing myself once more to enter. The calm that I had gained was slowly giving way once more to nervousness. I found myself worrying that it would show all over my face that I had an emotional meltdown. (Cynthia told me it didn't look like I had been crying, but I wasn't convinced.) I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down while it felt like every fiber of my being was racing. My skin felt like ants were crawling all over it. I rubbed one of my arms and took a final deep breath.

Cynthia smiled at me.

“You ready?”

“Y-yeah. I'll be fine.” I picked up my Riolu, hugging him tightly. “I've got this Lance with me to help keep me calm.”

“Ri!” His tail wagged.

“We're back!” Cynthia called out when we entered. I could see Lance's tuft of red hair over by the table that we had been seated at earlier.

“Welcome back!” he replied. We walked over to him, and I could see Pika curled up beside his lap, taking a nap. I instantly felt envious of her. To just so casually....! Lance noticed that I was looking at her, and gave a small laugh.

“I came over to read some of the books, when I noticed that Pika had been left behind. I thought it was odd, but she didn't seem to be bothered by being separated from you. In fact, she curled right up next to me and fell asleep.”

I blushed. My Riolu looked up at me.

<<She felt confident that I could help,>> he said. <<I'm not sure why that is. Miss Cynthia was the one to help you the most! I think she just wanted to eat the cookies without sharing...>>

I frowned when he told me that. I put him down and picked up Pika, sitting down on the couch as I did so. I held her up, away from me, waiting for her to wake up.

Pika gave a sleepy little yawn. She squeaked when she saw me staring at her with an unamused expression. She squirmed, giggling as she tried to get out of my grip. I let go of her with a short sigh, and she fell into my lap. With a carefree attitude, she climbed back up the couch to sit on my shoulder, nuzzling me. She was definitely trying to be trouble.

“Honestly...”

“Is everything okay? It's not often that I don't see her without you.”

I jumped up for a second, forgetting that he was there. I tensed up, and feigned ignorance. “Hm? Oh, uh, Riolu said that she wanted to eat all the cookies and not share.” I gave him a nervous smile. “Some days, y'know?” I had no idea what I was trying to get at, honestly. But I hoped it was enough of an answer to avoid any future questions.

Now that I was no longer giving my Pokemon a condescending stare, knowing what her real motive was, I realized that I had sat next to him. On the same couch. I felt my face heat up and I slowly started to scoot away. Ah, but that's too obvious. Ah, quick! I patted the space next to me, motioning for Riolu to come sit there. He tilted his head at me, but obliged, climbing onto the couch. I scooted over more so he could sit between us; Lance raised an eyebrow at me.

“Ah, I forgot to mention it earlier, but Riolu's really excited to meet you!” I gave him a nervous laugh, and fumbled around for a further explanation. “Though I guess that much was obvious earlier... Ahaha... I thought, um. Well, uh... I don't really know how else to explain it, so just! Accept that he wanted to sit next to you!!”

Smooth.

As if picking up on the cue, Riolu turned towards Lance and wagged his tail. It wasn't disingenuous, as he really was excited to meet his namesake.

<<Hi, I'm Lance! I was named after you!!>> He stood up on the couch and held out his paw to Lance.

Panic coursed through me. My face instantly turned red and I grabbed Riolu. I pulled him away, hand over his mouth while trying to resist the urge to grumble something into his ear.

“What... did he say?” Lance sounded concerned, but I could hear muffled laughter from Cynthia, seated across from us. I had forgotten about her, but now wasn't the time to deal with her.

“O-Oh! Uhhh...ummm... y-y'know... how some.. Pokemon, just... say.... silly....things? To, um, their heroes?” I winced, feeling like the lie wasn't much better. My Pokemon wasn't satisfied with it either, and frowned. I could feel the dissatisfaction, right there, in my arms.

“I can't say that I know... Seeing as I haven't had any Pokemon talk to me in the same way that Riolu seems to with you.”

“Oh!” I let him go, and Riolu crossed his arms, pouting. “That's, um...” That's great! I wanted to say, but I knew that it was a very enviable thing to be able to understand Pokemon clearly. In specific words.

“That's, err, too bad, I think?” I relaxed, relieved that my Riolu hadn't somehow instantly been able to connect to and bond with Lance like he had with me. “I mean, it sucks, when they um, just have a lot of cool things they want to say to you! He thinks you're really cool!”

“And what else does Riolu think,” Cynthia said from the sidelines. I gave her a sharp look, and she stifled her laughter.

“Okay, I don't know what Cynthia thinks is so funny, but he really does look up to you!” I said, finally giving a genuine statement. “He's wanted to meet you for awhile now. And, it's, uh, it is nice to see you outside the league, for once. And not because of work!” I added, remembering that one time I had run into him. He was on a mission with the Pokemon G-Men, and somehow the events of that created this... issue. “I was just, um, surprised earlier to see you anywhere but Kanto or Johto, really. So I'm sorry if it seemed like I was being rude.”

Lance seemed to be confused by what I was saying, and I rolled my eyes and shook my head, frustrated at myself.

“Nevermind. Sorry if that didn't make any sense.”

He gave me a strange look, perhaps because my own words were strange enough without all the context on my end.

“I accept your apology, though I'm not really sure what it's for.”

“Um, 'cuz I thought maybe it seemed like I didn't want you here?”

“It didn't seem that way to me.”

I paused, trying not to overthink on what he just said. “I—oh, um. Good.” I nodded, trying to sound certain of myself.

An awkward silence followed, but it was shortly interrupted by Cynthia.

“Sarah,” she turned to me. “Where is your next badge located?”

Bless her for changing the subject to something less nerve-wracking. Riolu perked up at the mention of the Gym Challenge, and uncrossed his arms. I looked up at nothing in particular, trying to recall where I was told to go next. It was on the west side of Sinnoh, somewhere closer to Twinleaf Town than this side of Mt. Coronet.

“Umm... I think the city's called Canalave?”

“Then you should definitely make sure to train up your Riolu!” Cynthia looked excited, eyes brimming with energy and the teasing forgotten. “The Gym Leader is Byron; he's a steel-type user. Would you like to stay for awhile and train with me?”

I blinked. The offer was extremely honoring, and I couldn't figure out a reason to say no. “Sure, I'd love to! Thank you very much Cynthia.” I looked down towards the little Pokemon beside me. My Riolu jumped up, looking starry-eyed at Cynthia, tail wagging excitedly. “I'm sure Riolu would love it too, if he got to train with your Lucario!”

“Of course. I'd be more than happy for them to train together!”

“Would it be okay if I joined the two of you for your training?” Lance asked suddenly.

I felt myself freeze. I was not expecting that. I looked at him, scrutinizing him. Was there a joke in this? A prank? I was suddenly suspicious, wondering if somehow he and Cynthia were in on something. But if they were planning something like this all along, I couldn't tell; not from him. I quickly looked towards Cynthia, who clasped her hands together, smiling.

“That would be great! Incidentally, how long are you planning to stay in Sinnoh?”

“I've got a few days before I need to head to Blackthorn City.”

“Excellent! Then it's settled. We'll all train together!”

So maybe it wasn't planned. That didn't stop Cynthia from flashing me a devious smile right after. I couldn't help but feel apprehensive that she had something else up her long, black sleeves.

“That reminds me!” She pulled out a poster from under one of the books, and showed it to us. It had a drawing of a starry night sky, with what looked like shooting stars falling across it. Under that was the shrine, and the area around it was decorated.

“We're having a festival in a few days. Because we're away from any of the larger cities, the night sky is really clear. It makes it easy for us to see a meteor shower that happens once a year. It's one of the few things that draws visitors to Celestic Town, giving them revenue. The both of you should go! I'll be busy helping the town run it, so I won't be able to show you guys around, but I think you'll have plenty of fun exploring it without me!”

I felt my insides go hollow, instantly recognizing what Cynthia was doing. She was setting up an opportunity... for... a... I couldn't finish the thought, too frazzled to think it. I could only hope that, between the blanched feeling I was having and the inevitable blush that was to follow, my complexion looked relatively normal. Because I wanted to scream. And run away. And never come back.

Cynthia just gave me that, sweet, innocent, inscrutable smile, now decipherable, as a little nudge forward. She knew exactly what she was doing, and I hated that I wanted to thank her for it, too.

25 notes · View notes

aesthyuckic · 4 years

Text

AVENOIR | l.dh - QUATTUORDECIM

(gif not mine - credit to rightful owner)

Genre: High School AU (at beginning) ; Tarot Reader!Witch!Hyuck

Word Count: 2.7K

Warnings: (bold if in use) slow but with a purpose, belief contradictions, mentions of r*pe, blood(??), swearing, violence(??), mentions of abuse (??)

Pairings: Lee Donghyuck (Haechan) x Reader (F)

IV OF WANDS: home, community and celebration

The following morning after the summer solstice, Cosimia walked out into the kitchen half awake. She saw the coffee dripping into pitcher below it. She smiled at the thought of Donghyuck walking up before her and putting it on for her. She went and pour herself a cup she fixed with milk and sugar after. She walked over to the ither counter only to peer over and find her friend sitting on the carpet, reading.

The trailer bumped as they were driven down the road to next location, the books scattered across the floor moved slightly because of it. The sun came in threw the window and the curtains as the boy read away on the floor. It seem to shine on him like a spotlight that graced his golden skin. He glowed like an angel in the light and appeared so warm and cozy. The image made her smile to herself, lazily in her half awake state as she started to notice everything a bit more...

The way his nose curved and was so small... it was cute and the way his plump, pink lips pouted when in thought was too... With his little moles that came to rest on him and from patterns that he said he didn’t like and the long eyeslashes, just everything about him that she could probably list if she focused hard enough... She thought he was beautiful in every way possible. It was hard not to admire.

It wasn’t long before he felt the pair of eyes on him. He looked over to find the girl, still relatively half awake, take a sip of her coffee. She was still smiling after though...

“What are you smiling at?” He asked, genuinely confused.

“You.” She answered rather boldly.

“Understandable.” He mumbled with a nod as he stuffed his nose back into his book in hope it would take the attention away from his nervousness.

She hummed, contently, as she set down her mug. She walked over to one of the cabinets and pulled a box of cereal out as well as a bowl. As the poured the puffs into the bowl she looked over at the boy again. It was only then she realized what he’d been reading all that morning presumably.

“Are you sure you want to continue practicing?” She sighed as she put down the box on the counter. “You know... after the summer solstice?”

“I’m just reading about it right now.” He informed her. “I’d only practice the regular stuff. Besides the doctor said I was fine, right? No seizure, not even a concussion.”

“Oddly enough.” She muttered under her breath.

He knew how suspicious she grew about the whole thing... He admitted it was a weird thing to happen. He didn’t even tell her what he really saw. He thought it might have worried her even more which he wouldn’t have liked at all... He may have not been psychic like her but he could always tell when she was worried, at the very least, about him.

“I promise I’ll be fine, Cosimia.” He reassured. “I won’t do anything dangerous, I promise you that.”

“Okay,” She rolled her eyes as she spoke softly. “You better.”

He smiled at her, loving the fact that she cared about him... Loving the fact that someone was looking for him. In all honesty, he had never felt so safe with someone before she came along.

“I’d never lie,” To his irony which was a lie. “Not to you at least.”

An even deeper lie. But it was white, wasn’t it?

They went about their morning as normally as they could as they drove down the road. It was warm and relaxing compared to most to be quite frank. They laid on the carpet as they just talked about random things, the sun from the window keeping the atmosphere heated around them. Donghyuck’s records played softly in the background of it all. It was another one of those times with her that he didn’t remember much other than the feelings really... He did remember her laughing a few times and how beautiful it looked in the sunlight and how warm it made him feel all over much like other times.

Unfortunately to their disliking, the pleasant morning didn’t last forever. Their trailer stop abruptly which caused the laughing to stop as they sat up. They had finally made it to their destination and now it was time to set up for the day. What made it worse is they had to rush since they’d be opening soon which made them groan internally as they helped each other off the floor.

The both of them practically still in their pajamas also had to rush to get ready as they had gotten carried away with themselves that morning. The girl occupied the bedroom to change while the boy took the bathroom to wash up. He finally came to look at himself in the mirror. His hair was unkept and it looked like he had just gotten out of bed when he had been up for hours.

He noticed the bags under his eyes. The moles on his face he was never too fond of... He started to find more things that only fed into his insecurities... His frown seemed to get bigger every time something new popped into his head. Why was this only happening today? Or why was it so bad today? He rubbed his cheeks out of frustration and as he felt them, he grew even more frustrated at the thought of how chubby they were. He huffed, putting his hands down beside him again as he stared at himself with a sadden expression.

Cosimia happened to have gotten dressed rather quickly that morning and even walked by to catch a glimpse of his frustrations. She walked into the bathroom despite how small it was. She came to stand behind him and looked at him through the mirror. She rested her hands on his upper arms before she laid an unexpected kiss on his shoulder. He felt all tingly while he seemed to stop breathing for a moment after she did that. He shivered a bit too, but in a good way oddly enough.

The whole thing made him feel high. The whole morning had to be honest. He had no idea what had gotten into her. Everything she was doing was very much unlike her but he found himself enjoying it.

“I think you look beautiful everyday, no matter what.” She cooed as she rested her chin on his shoulder, telling him what he needed to hear without him having to say anything about it. “But I can tell you don’t feel like that today... So, come with me.”

She grabbed his hand, gently, guiding him outside and through the trailers. Their coworkers going the opposite way to help set up, a lot of them greeting them. He followed closely behind the girl, trying to hide his face almost as that particular day he felt inadequate. It’s not like they hadn’t seen him before either, they never even thought much about the way he looked. Even if they did, they thought he was a handsome young man. It’s just that day everything was getting to him more than usual for some reason.

He gave her some space once they stood in front of a familiar trailer that knew as Sicheng’s. She was about to knock on the door but before she could, it swung open. Ten came out rather hasitly as he glared at them. He was red as tomato, not leaving them a doubt in their minds that he still hated them for some reason. He even went as far as to shove pass the girl which in return had her fell into boy behind her.

For some reason, it angered Donghyuck when the other did that. He felt an unreasonable amount of anger against him for shoving Cosimia like that, even if she was fine, it was still rude and uncalled for. He remembered back to when they first came, how Ten tried to fight him but his friend stopped it before anything could happen. He wondered if she had felt the same type of anger in that moment for him...

She stood back up with a scoff as she glared at Ten as he walked away without a thought of turning back. The door didn’t take long to swing back open, only this time because of their friend, Sicheng. Before he even opened the screen door he was letting out strings of apologies on Ten’s behave which he so often did. He even checked to see if they were okay.

“Wait, what are you guys doing here?” He asked, stopping what he was doing immediately. “You’re supposed to be helping everyone set up.”

“Can you please get Hendery and Lucas to cover for us?” She begged, much like a child would. “We wanted to borrow your makeup real quick! That is, if it’s okay with you.”

“Fine,” Sicheng caved rather quickly with a sigh. “Only this time am I getting the guys to cover for you. Don’t touch anything with cool tones, those belong to Ten. He’s pissed enough about the floor, we don’t need makeup on top of it too.”

He ran off in a hurry after that. Cosimia grabbed one Donghyuck’s hands with hers while the other waved despite the older not being able to see.

“Thank you!” She yelled before pulling the boy inside.

She dragged him behind her to the bathroom with a giggle before sitting him on the cool floor. Silver and red still stained much of the faux tile and even some of the whites of the bathtub and sink. The memory of it kind of made him smile to himself as he remember banging his head against the wall because of her. He was startled out of the memory when the girl threw down a big box, presumed to be full of makeup between them as she sat down across from him.

“I thought you hated makeup.” He said as opened it up and began to pick out a few things.

“On myself,” She shrugged. “This is for you and I don’t mind doing it for other people.”

“Can I ask why you hate it so much?” He questioned, softly.

She was shocked that he wasn’t opposed to the idea of makeup but rather wondered why she was the one opposed to it...

“Well, I use to cover up the bruises I had with it.” She told him, straightforward before she leaned over. “Now, look at me. I need to prep your skin...”

She had cleaned his face with some of Sicheng’s skincare products before wiping his face with a towel soaked with water. He must admit in that moment, he felt more cared for then any other time. She dried his face off too and moisturized his skin before she put on the BB cream that was slightly off a tone or two. It was a shame that they didn’t have any other color that would go well with Donghyuck’s skin... She thought it would work, only for today though.

“Makeup is to those who enjoy wearing it is suppose to make them feel more confident and powerful.” She sighed, as continued to smooth out the cream. “It was the opposite feeling for me and it irritated my skin so...”

She was soon applying some eyeshadow she had found at the bottom of the box. A golden color that shined which she found so pretty. It was only a moment before she had moved onto the lip tint that colored his lips even more pink then they were. She chuckled slightly to herself looking at the boy so close in front of her who had his lips puckered with her hand under his chin.

“What?” He asked, worrisome that he looked weird.

“I just think gold, glittery eyeshadow was made for you.” She confessed.

“Oh, do you now?” He batted his eyelashes with a pout.

“C’mon pucker up! I’m still not done with your lip tint!”

He had nothing else to stare at other than her in that moment. He felt everything around him slow down for a second as she looked up from his lips. He swore he could see a sparkle in her eye before things seem to speed back up to a normal pace. It was the same sparkle she had seen with Choerry and of course, the same with Lucas.

He struggled to breathe at even the thought. He couldn’t help himself from playing the scenario over and over in his head while his cheeks remained heated as she pulled away, finished. Even if was short in reality, at least it could live like an eternity in his mind...

She helped him off up the floor and moved out of his way after. He approached the mirror while he had a hint of nervousness in him. Once he looked at himself in the mirror, he found himself liking it a lot... It was a rather natural look but it seem to cover up the blemishes he had found to pick on that morning. Though, he noticed something right away about the look.

“You didn’t cover my moles.” He mumbled.

“I like them too much,” She replied. “I’m sorry to be selfish, they’re just so cute...”

He felt warm inside about the comment. She said she liked them before but never that they were cute... He never liked them much on himself. She happened to have some too, that he found beautiful on her. One near the corner of lips that seem to be perfectly placed and a few tiny, light ones around her lips... Thers were two next to her left eye that could form a smile if you had drawn under them and then there was a few on her chin and forehead as well. They scattered across the rest of her body too from what he could see whenever she took off the long clothing inside only to walk around in shorts and a tank top. He noticed she only let herself be exposed that much around him....

“I can’t go out like this though.” He said, abruptly reaching for the making up wipes.

“Aye!” She hissed as she slapped his hand away. “Why not?! I worked hard on it! Do you not like it?”

“It’s not that I don’t like it...” He started. “We’re in the country... You know they aren’t as progressive... They’re gonna think I’m gay when I’m not. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, that’s just not who I am...”

“Oh, Haechan... Having a certain interest or acting a certain way doesn’t determine something like that. I know you might understand that and maybe not everyone does but they need to learn that.”

“I just don’t want to get beat up... or worse.”

She sighed before reaching over into the box for the wipes and handing it to him, “If you really fear for your well being, here are the wipes. I don’t know how many times I have to make it clear with my words and actions, though... I won’t let anyone hurt you for any matter, especially not for something like makeup. Honestly, I’d stab them if I have to! And you could hex them too for all I care!”

He looked her in the eye, able to sense the sincerity of all her words. He could still very well see there was a part of her that wanted him to decide to go with the other opinion. He took the wipes out of her hands, carefully before he stared down at him. He thought about how good it felt and how hard she worked on it for him. She only did it to make him feel better that morning. He was too aware of the fact that she’d do anything to protect him, even if it did mess with her ability...

“Cosi knows best, right?” He chuckled as he threw them back in the box.

“Cosi?” She questioned with a tilt of her head.

“Yeah,” He nodded. “It sounds like cozy... and you make me feel that way.”

“Stop that.”

“No.”

He could see how easily the blush came to her cheeks with the comment. It allowed him to be the one who was grinning at the fact this time. He got why she kind of liked doing it now...

29 notes · View notes

blookmallow · 4 years

Text

im starting to realize there’s a bunch of connections going on between tma episodes.. i dont know what it Means yet and dont tell me!!!!! ill get there!! but. hmmm. im going through the transcripts after i listen to them to make sure i didnt miss things/checking the details and i just. Keep Finding More Shit, it’s all connected, i feel like there’s something huge going on behind all these and i Do Not Know what it is yet

this is. very long and disjointed i went through all the transcripts for every episode ive listened to so far and kept noticing more things

like Don’t Tell Me if im right or wrong ill find out im just gathering thoughts. setting up my little conspiracy board. red strings everywhere

- firstly theres an obvious running thread going about the cursed jurgen leitner books, gerard keay, the. worms. and jane prentiss

- carlos vittery in Arachnophobia mentions offhand that his complex had an infestation of “small, silvery worms” which passed right over my head the first time but looking at it again thATS THE FUCKIGN WORMS!!!! and martin found. Probably Jane in the basement of that same complex. so. well, (that also means like Who Knows how many people in that building might have gotten infected) (i also wonder whether the spiders might actually be Good, if the worms are hideous parasites maybe the spiders are showing up to eat them/get rid of them, martin says he likes spiders, the spiders almost definitely killed vittery but he was violently trying to wipe them out so maybe it was a greater good kind of thing) (or they’re just spiders and dont have that level of comprehension and like the nasty silver worms. either way)

- there’s also a lot of Foretelling Of Death but i dont want to go through and list all of those rn

- in Anglerfish, there was some kind of. shadowy hand thing beckoning people into the darkness. Amy Patel in Across The Street describes seeing a similar shadowy hand thing reaching into Graham’s apartment before his. replacement. both of these are described as “folding” in on themselves/moving in a really unnatural way. smoking was also mentioned in both but i havent really been following that as a symbol very closely. possible link with Fire? i dont know

- Repetition. Graham was obsessively filling hundreds of notebooks with the words “Keep Watching,” mary keay’s skin was completely covered in unreadable script tattoos, the paper found by the garbage men was the Lord’s prayer written in latin over and over again, ivo lensik’s father became completely obsessed with fractals and couldn’t stop drawing them. the unnamed burned man in First Aid repeats an unclear phrase over and over again. gerard keay is also covered in tattoos of eyes in First Aid, which was not mentioned before (though probably wouldn’t have been visible before)

- Graham was convinced he was being watched/followed by Something, harriet was concerned about being followed after she was attacked by prentiss (which. matches with martin’s experience too, though he was much more fortunate), vittery was followed by The Spider, lensik’s father also believed Something was coming for him (and “all the bones are in his hands” sounds very. leitner), and there was. whatever approaching darkness was coming after robert montauk, as well

- Graham has a weirdly hypnotic table, the first Leitner book found by dominic swain had oddly vertigo-inducing woodcuttings, gerard keay’s eye painting is similarly hypnotic, lensik finds a box in the old tree with the same hypnotic carvings on it

- not sure if the Spider Apple has any relation to the Arachnophobia episode, but, there’s that, also

- swain’s book had an image of the sky, which he described felt like you would “fall into it” if you looked at it for too long, and robert kelly sort of “fell into the sky” in Freefall. laura popham describes a sense of being swallowed up by the earth in Lost Johns’ Cave, as well

- same theme of becoming “lost” in Lost Johns’ Cave and in Alone, similar concepts of being consumed by the earth

- i dont think its necessarily related to anything else as far as i know but just wanted to mention also i didn’t process the... extra audio recording in Lost Johns’ Cave correctly, i thought she was saying “help me, help me, please help me” which was unnerving, but didn’t really seem all that critical to add, until looking at the transcripts i realized it was “take her, not me” which was a HUGE punch to the gut when i discovered it lmao. dont ask how i managed to mishear that badly but i am very very bad at auditory processing which is why im reading all these scripts to make sure i didnt process them wrong

- Graham mentions he’s gay, and the man who had the dream about gertrude mentions having broken up with his boyfriend, Graham. jon doesn’t comment on this and it’s not necessarily the same graham, and im not sure what the significance is if it is, but it seems like an odd coincidence if it isn’t. “antonio” doesn’t go into detail about why they broke up, but mentions they had been living together

- the name Joshua Gillespie stands out to me for some reason, like I’ve heard “gillespie” somewhere before, but I haven’t noticed it coming up again in any of the transcripts unless I just missed it. could just be that my brain decided to Remember that name for no reason though. he’s the guy with the coffin

- jon mentions this, but Breekon and Hope deliveries were responsible both for the weird coffin and the yellow stole from the incident with father burroughs

- there’s a major ongoing theme of Fire and Burning, both just in general, and a more specific Fire With No Apparent Source thing continuously happening. the prayer paper in the trash had been burned, timothy hodge burned his apartment after the Worms Incident (and martin mentions noticing one of the worms looked slightly burnt - maybe it survived the fire and returned to jane?), sgt. berry was “distinctively marked” by an incident with a flamethrower, the vampires are supposedly very very vulnerable to fire, raymond fielding’s house burned down and his. ghost? disappears with a burning smell and a burnt spot on the floor, lensik experiences an intense, unbearable heat with no clear cause soon after the encounter with raymond, which father burroughs also experiences in his account. the mysterious coffin in Do Not Open had an unnatural heat to it. gerard keay burns the leitner book and picks up the still-smoldering ashes but isn’t concerned with the heat, and then appears again as one of the burned men in First Aid, having apparently experienced second-degree burns on every inch of his skin, but had completely undamaged clothes. the nurse describes feeling a burning sensation when the chanting starts, but dismisses it as a nervous reaction, then experiences the. boiling drink bottles and the burning hot door handles. she says she could feel a burning heat from gerard’s hand. the burned man’s body immediately self-cremates when gerard kills him. lee rentoul also gives specifically a lighter to angela for her Piecemeal curse, though that might be coincidental. he does burn the first box after he discovers it, though

- the garbage man describes the last Weird Trash as “tied off with a dark green ribbon, arranged in a bow like an old-fashioned Christmas present” - which contained a copper heart, possibly symbolizing alan’s real heart, with the rest of his body never being found. this matches both with robert montauk’s killings and the cursed boxes from angela’s curse- “brown paper and string, like an old-fashioned Christmas present.” there was also the weird thing with raymond’s hand, but im not sure that’s related

the vampires’ victims bodies also seemed to disappear, not sure that’s related either

- jon confirms that the pendant julia describes (the one belonging to her mother and also her father’s last victim) is a symbol of the People’s Church of the Divine Host cult. wondering if this is related to what father burroughs experienced. gerard keay is searching for a lost pendant in First Aid, but its design is unclear, and he describes it as brass. unsure if related. the fact that gerard’s tattoos/etc were of eyes, and the other pendant is of a closed eye, while one is made of brass and the other of silver seems like there might be some connection though even if it isn’t the same one. there didn’t seem to be any burning involved with the montauk case, anyway

then there’s. this entire thing im just gonna paste it here, from sebastian adekoya in the Boneturner’s Tale:

“Books are amazing, aren’t they? I mean, when you think about what they really are. People don’t give the actuality of language the weight it deserves, I feel. Words are a way of taking your thoughts, the very make-up of yourself, and giving them to another. Putting your thoughts in the mind of someone else. They are not a perfect method, of course, as there’s plenty of scope for mutation and corruption between your mind and that of the listener, but that doesn’t change the essence of what language is.

Spoken aloud, though, the thought dies quickly if not picked up. Simple vibrations that vanish almost as soon as they are created, though if they find a host, then they can lodge there, proliferate, and maybe spread further. Still, it is not a reliable method in terms of a thought’s endurance, as humans are fragile creatures, and rarely last a century.”

this definitely seems relevant to jurgen leitner (and this is. one of the episodes about a leitner book, so) it definitely seems likely that he’s spreading some kind of.... Belief or Self or Power or Something through his books, possibly even his own consciousness is within them somehow, or at least the consciousness of Something or Someone. the man with all the bones in his hands. taking bones and warping them. bones appearing in the pages but Wrong. might be related to the bag of teeth, too, hundreds of All The Same Tooth

definitely something to the... immortalization of thoughts/memories/Consciousness through written word, especially when we consider the words literally tattooed into mary keay’s skin/the book possibly bound in her skin. i cant put a coherent thought together on this but its definitely... important, i think

sebastian also for some reason specifically mentions he was holding a copy of Stephen King’s Misery in the confrontation with Jared’s mother, which is a story about an author being forced to write something against his will/words that aren’t really his own, to appease someone else, which. seems like it might be relevant somehow too, maybe. the fact that it was named specifically when it wasn’t apparently relevant to the story seems interesting

#lucy liveblogs tma

8 notes · View notes

elisaphoenix13 · 5 years

Text

(AT) To Bring Them Home

A more in depth version of Remembering The Departed (but with Harley and Cassie added so other fics fit).

"Hey Mama Bear. If you find this recording, don't post it on social media. It's gonna be a real tear jerker." Tony sighs heavily and leans back against the wall of the ship. " It's not like you're ever going to see these anyway. I watched you fade to nothing in front of me after all. You and Peter. I guess I'm recording these for my own sanity. It helps to pretend you're getting these messages. Totally lame right?"

The engineer clears his parched throat. He was desperate for anything to moisten his mouth at this point.

"Today's day twenty-one? No. Twenty-two. You know if it wasn't for the existential terror of staring into the literal void of space, I'd say I'm feeling a little better today. The infection has run its course thanks to the blue meanie back there." He weakly motions to Nebula somewhere in the vicinity behind him. "Oh you'd love her. Very practical. Only a tiny bit sadistic."

Stephen probably would like the cyborg. He may have been cautious of her at first, but if she treated the kids well, the sorcerer would have immediately warmed up to Nebula. The poor woman just needed a friend.

"So the fuel cells were cracked during battle and we figured out a way to reverse the ion charge by ourselves and bought 48 hours of flight time. But it's now dead in the water a thousand light years from the nearest 7-11. Oxygen will run out tomorrow morning, and that'll be it." Tony rubs his eyes. "It looks like...well you know what it looks like. Don't feel bad about this. I mean actually if you grovel for a couple weeks and then move on with enormous guilt..." He trails off as he fights off the impending lure of sleep.

"I should probably lie down for a minute. Rest my eyes. If by some miracle I make it back home, the first thing I'm going to do is look for Harley and Diana. God I hope they're still at home. If I go home and they're gone too...I don't know what I'm going to do." He would very likely off himself but he didn't need to say that. Tony was sure that if somehow, Stephen was able to see these messages, he would know. "Please know, when I drift off, it'll be like every night lately. I'm fine...totally fine. I dream about you. God it's always you." Tony says with a broken whisper.

He was hungry, dehydrated, and lost in space with a robotic woman and for once he looked forward to sleep. Dreams of Stephen and their family was his only salvation in this terrible situation he found himself in. He was already hallucinating blue butterflies, and he tried to touch one the first time he saw it, but it had disappeared as soon as his fingers went through the illusion. Tony just ignored them after that. He never asked Nebula if she saw them, because he knew the answer would be a 'no', and she would watch him like a hawk.

With a sigh, he shuts off the recording mechanism in his helmet and pulls on a jacket before laying down. This would quite possibly be the last time his eyes would be open, but at least when he went, it would be to pleasant dreams. Dreams, and the part of him that believed that the blue butterfly settling on the arm he was laying on, was Stephen watching over him.

________________________

Carol had miraculously come across them and took them back to Earth, and once an IV was shoved into him, the remaining Avengers held a meeting. Tony really just wanted to keep to his promise and looks for his other two kids, but he also needed to know who else they had lost. Picture after picture popped up on the multiple screens in the meeting room at the compound, and Tony had to hold himself together when Stephen and Peter's picture came up. He almost lost it when Harley's appeared as well, but then the pictures stopped and the screens vanished.

He never saw Diana and that made him jump to his feet and almost fall over from how weak he was. Pepper had to step forward and steady him as he points a shaky finger as the previous location of the screens.

"D-Diana?" He mentally curses when he stumbles over the single word. "Where...is she...is she alive?"

Steve steps over to his other side to help keep him steady, and offers him a small smile. "She's alive. Out of all of the kids, she and Cassie are still here."

Tony nearly sobs with relief. "Clint and Scott?"

Natasha frowns. "Neither of them are responding to any of our calls. We have to assume they were victims too."

"I want to see my daughter." The engineer whispers, and Pepper gently rubs his back.

"You will, but you need rest."

"I'll rest when I..." Tony blinks away the black spots forming in his vision and the room begins to spin. "When I--"

Then he collapsed. The little bit of effort he had put into talking and standing was too much for his body, and it forced him to rest. He slept for two days without waking, but he woke up on third day and Rhodey all but forced him to eat. In any or he scenario he would have fought, but Diana was alive and all he cared about was seeing her. Tony caved when his best friend promised he could see her as soon as he ate, and he did. He ate as much as he could stomach and Rhodey kept to his promise by having Natasha bring Diana to him. Big blue eyes brightened when his six-month-old daughter saw him and she squealed happily as she reached out for him.

"Dada!"

That one simple word was what broke Tony when he finally got to hold his baby girl. She was all he had left if his family. His husband was gone, his two sons were gone, and half of his friends were gone too. He was broken and tired and wanted to get away from it all. All of the memories.

So as soon as he was able again, Tony took Diana and Cassie with him to a lake house he bought. Cassie's mother and stepfather were out of reach since they had been traveling over seas when the snap happened, so they didn't know if they were even alive. Scott was MIA as well, but Tony promised to take care of her. She was surprisingly happy that the engineer told her to get her things and she did without a fuss.

Tony watched Diana and Cassie grow up over the next five years. As Cassie got older, she helped with Diana and eventually took a liking to cooking and baking that she was starting to throw Tony out of his own kitchen. Like now.

"You're kicking me out of my own kitchen?! You have a lot of nerve Miss Sass." Tony moves away from the island counter and accidently knocks a glass cup off of it and watches it fall and shatter on the ground. "Shit."

Cassie giggles. "That is exactly why. How did you manage to feed us before I took over?"

Tony picks up the broken glass with a towel and dumps it all in the trash bin. "I'll have you know I made dinner plenty of times. I make a mean sauce. Even Peter drank--"

He immediately clams up at the mention of his youngest son. Tony locked those memories away tears ago, but every once in a while, one would slip through. What were once pleasant dreams when he was dying in space, now haunted him in the safety of his home. In his dreams and just looking at Diana. She reminded him of Stephen every day and it was hard to ignore. She even inherited the man's cheeky mouth.

Cassie learned how to read him over the five years they lived at the lake house, and she could tell that talk to him about his family wasn't a good idea right now. "Can you see if there are any raspberries left? They would be good in the salad."

Tony scoffs. "If there are any left."

"With the way your alpaca eats them I wouldn't be surprised if they were gone!"

"My alpaca? You and Dia were the ones that wanted a pet!"

"Yeah! Like a cat! But you had to be extra and come home with a freaking alpaca!" Cassie snarks as she points a knife in his direction and Tony holds his hands up.

"He has a name." The engineer says with a smirk.

"Gerald is a terrible name." Cassie throws a walnut at his head, and narrows her eyes when Tony catches it in his mouth. "Check for berries."

"I've adopted a slave-driver."

Cassie sniggers as he walks out the back door and he pats Gerald's head as he passes by the mammal and into the garden. It was Cassie's idea and he had to admit it was nice having fresh vegetables and berries a few feet away, even if he had to beat their pet alpaca to them. The girls wanted a cat, but it only would have reminded him of Tibbs, and even the poor cat had been a victim of the snap. He just wasn't ready for another one. Tibbs was a pretty awesome cat and Tony kind of missed him sometimes.

"Alright Gerald, I hope you left us some raspberries or we'll both be in the dog house." Two more steps and he found a plant full of the berries. "Small miracles." He glances over at the blanket fort a few feet away and smiles. "Princess Diana! Come help me pick berries!"

"I'm coloring Daddy!" Diana shouts from inside her fort and Tony chuckles quietly. She definitely had Stephen's snark, and she even said it in an exasperated tone.

"I guess you don't get Cassie's chocolate chip cookies for dessert!"

A loud groan follows and Tony grins as Diana comes out of her fort and joins her father. "It was important."

"Oh yeah? Well you'll have to finish after dinner."

Diana doesn't argue any further and the two of them pick enough berries to fill a small container that Tony gives the responsibility of holding to his daughter. A couple of raspberries disappear into her mouth and Tony gives her a fond look as he wipes away some of the juice at the corner of her mouth before it stains. Sass aside, he was lucky that Diana was so well behaved. She even stopped asking about her mother and brothers because she didn't like the forlorn look Tony always wore when they were brought up, but he was also pretty sure that Cassie was telling her instead. Tony always kicked himself over that. Diana should be able to ask him without worrying about him getting upset over it, but instead her pseudo-sister was telling her the stories. Sometimes Pepper, Happy, and the other Avengers whenever they had time to stop by.

"Don't fill up Little Miss. You think we have enough?"

Diana nods. "Uh-huh."

"Alright. Let's get these back in to the Alpha Female if we want to have dinner. I can smell it from here." He kisses her on the cheek before standing back up and lifting Diana into his arms, and he stops next to Gerald when the exit the garden. "Give one to our loyal guard alpaca."

The five year old grabs a raspberry from the container in her hands and gives it to Gerald who eats it out of her hand happily and thanks her with a nuzzle. With that done, Tony walks back toward the house until he hears the unmistakable sound of tires crunching over gravel. He and Diana look at each other before Tony makes his way around the house to the driveway, and his eyes widen when Scott all but falls out of the car in his haste to get out. Steve and Natasha followed after him as the ex-criminal approaches the billionaire and Diana pushes Tony's mouth closed.

"Scott?" Tony wonders with surprise.

"Cassie? Is she here? They said she was here." The man rambles, but before Tony could even reply, the front door opened and Cassie stepped out.

"Daddy?"

Scott's head whips around and the fifteen year old girl immediately runs over to him and hugs him tightly. Everyone else watches the small reunion as Scott hold his daughter close, and he eventually moves away to study his grown daughter.

"You're so big!" Scott looks Cassie over for a few more seconds and then sniffs the air. "Is that food? Oh my god, I'm starving."

Both Cassie and Tony laugh. "You have good timing Thumbelina. You guys can stay for dinner and tell us where the hell you've been."

"Good, because according to Nat and the Cap, I literally haven't eaten for five years."

Tony looks over at the other two adults. "Dinner?"

Natasha smiles. "Only if I get the baby."

"You heard her Little Miss. Go to Auntie Nat." The engineer says as he takes the container of berries and Diana happily goes to Natasha before they head inside.

Scott was quiet for the majority of dinner because he was too busy eating, but when he eventually slowed down so he could at least breath and taste his food, he told them where he had been. The Quantum Realm. What felt like an hour to him had been five years, so when he finally escaped, he was confused when he saw all the missing posters and the monuments with the names of the Snap victims. He explained that he went straight to the tower but when he found he empty, he went to the compound where he found Steve and Natasha. He told them the same thing he was telling Tony and they jumped right back into the car and came straight to the lake house when he asked about Cassie.

Steve clears his throat and Tony watches Natasha suspiciously when she mumbles in Russian and herds Diana away from the table after dinner. An adult conversation was coming up and he wasn't sure whether or not he was glad that the assassin took the initiative to distract his daughter. As soon as the two were out of ear shot, Scott opened his mouth again.

"Tony...we think we can reverse what happened. Bring everyone back."

His breath catches in his throat. "What?"

"Like I told you, it only felt like an hour in the Quantum Realm for me when realistically it's been five years. Time works differently there. Maybe if we can manipulate it--"

"You're talking about a time machine." Tony interrupts.

Steve grimaces. "For lack of a better word, yes."

"I can't take that chance." Scott opens his mouth again but Tony cuts him off and points toward the direction Natasha and Diana disappeared to. "She is all I have left. I can't risk that for a chance. Diana is the only reason I'm even still here!" He admits and the other two men wince and Cassie frowns. "I lost my wife, and my two sons. I can't lose her too."

The three stare at each other in silence until Diana and Natasha return, and Tony's heart clenches when he finds a familiar leather book in his daughter's hands.

Peter's photo album.

"Where..." The mechanic starts and Scott sighs.

"I told you I went to the tower. I grabbed that just in case." He says quietly as Diana sets the album on the table in front of Tony.

"Tony...at least look through it." Steve says quietly. "Even if you still don't want to help, you and Diana both deserve those memories."

Cassie places her hand on the album and pushes it closer to Tony. "I think it's a good idea."

Tony sighs. "Even Miss Sass is ganging up on me."

He reluctantly agrees though and they all eat their dessert of cookies before everyone sans Tony retires to bed. He offered for them to stay since it was a long drive back, and they accepted gratefully. Cassie was nice enough to take Diana to bed since she knew the little girl's schedule and Tony had gone into the makeshift lab to look through the photo album. Not until he had FRIDAY working on potential ways to be able to use the Quantum Realm as a time machine though. He highly doubted they would find anything, but he could at least say he tried. Looking through the album was hard but it was necessary if he was going to have to tell Diana the stories behind each picture. His daughter deserved that much if FRIDAY couldn't--

"Test run successful Boss."

Tony's head snaps up to the hologram and he drops the album so he can cover his mouth in disbelief. He did it. He found a way to time travel. Something he never thought possible if he were honest. A Time Stone was one thing, but a machine? Even he had been skeptical.

"Shit."

That one single word about summed everything up.

He could bring his family back.

#ironstrange #mama bear stephen strange #supremefamily #tony stark #cassie lang #diana stark strange (oc)#pepper potts #james rhodes #rhodey #scott lang #steve rogers #natasha romanov #peter parker #harley keener

109 notes · View notes

theteaisaddictive · 4 years

Note

It just hit me in a flash that i never asked for your thoughts/rankings of the Cats 2019 soundtrack. Please forgive my ignorance and bestow the gift of your wisdom upon us

i have been caught in a whirlwind of events, which is why i have not responded sooner, but i’m currently home sick so what better excuse is there to wax evangelical (evan . . . jellicle??) about the cats movie soundtrack than this precise moment

i. jellicle songs for jellicle cats

i mean. well. first things first, it was recorded in advance (i assume that the 90s version was a live recording, but i could be wrong here) so of course it is going to sound awkward and stilted. this is nothing compared to how awkward and unnatural it is to see a bunch of actors naked save for cgi fur and ken-doll-like crotches singing and . . . uh, i think they’re dancing? -- around the white cat victoria, who did not have nearly so big a part from what i can digest of the 90s youtube clips. my favourite part has to be the fucking techno beat though. god damn. party on, you funky little abominations.

ii. the naming of cats/the invitation to the jellicle ball

yes, i will be smushing the exposition-related songs together unless i feel like separating them. this is my life, these are my choices. idk, it was fine?? i guess? munkustrap (aka The Main Cat Who Isn’t Victoria or Judi Dench and Quite Frankly Deserved Better Because He Was Giving This Performance His All) kind of just says the naming instead of it being a company-wide thing. they did not include bombalurina or demeter’s names in the naming, and this was the point at which i realised that the big name stars were not, in fact, going to lounge around in the background for the entirety of the play like they do in the musical. :(

the invitation also sees my Sweet Boy mr mistoffelees get his first solo line, which is good bc i fell in love with his sweet little face over the course of the film, and bad bc it marks the start of the absurd victoria/mr mistoffelees subplot which i am convinced was put in because of course a plotless weirdmageddon like cats needs a romantic subplot

iii. the old gumbie cat

something that needs mentioning is that idris elba shows up as macavity at various points in-between songs. i’m pretty sure he shows up for the first time here and like, tries to lure victoria away?? i think?? anyway it obviously does not work bc unfortunately we are stuck with victoria for the entire film, so onto the gumbie cat song we go.

what can i say about the rebel wilson song that hasn’t already been said. she unzips her skin. the cockroaches are uncanny in the extreme. there are slater-sized mice played by children. there is no funky tap routine, or if there is it was erased from my mind by the frequent awkward gaps in which rebel wilson attempted to be funny. dear god.

iv. the rum tum tugger

miiiiilllllkk

ok, ok, fine. jason derulo gave a fun, lively performance and didn’t even have the decency to do a bad english accent, which means there is at least one song which i have to genuinely like and can’t just like ironically. but also miiiiillllkkk why is there a milk bar in london which is perfectly cat-sized whyyyy.

v. grizabella

i am going to be honest. i think that this song appeared later in the movie, but the soundtrack only lists ‘highlights’ so it doesn’t appear in the track list. idk what to say. there are some girl cats (unnamed, although i think they have names in the stage version) who are mean to grizabella and then they say that she started working for macavity?? i’m not sure if this does or does not imply that he became her pimp, although he certainly has the coat and hat for it, which only raises more questions which i dare not put voice to.

vi. bustopher jones

fuck james corden. what the fuck did he do to the refined, fat old cat who frequents gentleman’s clubs and only dines on the finest stuff?? he made him dig around in the rubbish bins and interrupt the song twice to make ‘jokes’ about how fat he is. god i cannot fuckign stand james corden and i do not think he’s funny so i’m aware i may be biased but still. god.

oh yes and then at the end macavity lures him over to a giant bin (in full view of the other cats, might i add) and thanos snaps him out of existence, but sadly not out of the movie. rebel wilson also got thanos-snapped earlier i just forgot to mention it.

vii. mungojerrie and rumpleteazer

i understand that this melody is the original melody and that the melody used in the 90s recording was a change made for broadway; however, this was the most boring fucking song in the movie and they should have used the broadway version, good night. also victoria is there while they burgle the house, for some reason, bc having an audience surrogate means she needs to be in Every Fucking Scene, so that was a Choice.

viii. old deuteronomy

a nice, sweet song introducing judi dench, sung by munkustrap in such a manner that i began to wonder if he was like, her boytoy or something. also the nuzzling is, like, out of control. i know there’s nuzzling in the stage version, but onstage they're also all crawling around on all fours and stuff whereas here they’re bipedal most of the time. it makes it look like everyone is constantly going in for a kiss when they’re actually just being sociable, and it is fucking disorienting.

ix. the jellicle ball

by the way, the jellicle ball itself takes place in some sort of cat-friendly dilapidated theatre, and it is both the weirdest and least weird thing about this whole movie.

idk, it was fine?? oh wait, i actually forgot -- so waaaaay back at the start, victoria has a famous solo which wasn’t actually a solo in this version but danced with munkustrap, which . . . .was a Choice. so now she dances with like five different male cats, and it gets frantic, and Every Single Cat is just tearing it up on the dance floor, seriously the dancers in this are incredible, and then i think they all collapse on the floor in a heap, and it was at this point that i learned to be thankful i was not subjected to watching a cgi cat orgy while sitting next to my horrified sister

x. grizabella the glamour cat/memory (prelude)

like i said, i can’t remember what order this happens on the movie, so i’m taking the tracklist from the olc on genius. anyway victoria sneaks out for . . . reasons, and she sees grizabella. and grizabella is sad, and sings her song in the first person, because demeter got cut, because fuck demeter, i guess. oh yeah, and tom hooper, he of the masterful subtlety, had jennifer hudson sitting at a lamppost with withered leaves collected at her feet which she pointed to at the relevant lines. i’m surprised he didn’t add a sound effect of a moaning wind.

xi. beautiful ghosts

this was the song that taylor swift wrote for the movie and by god can you tell. it is incredibly jarring and serves no purpose (beyond, i guess, the purpose of deepening the nothing character of victoria), and -- ugh. look, it’s a pretty little song, and both victoria and taylor swift sing it well, but it’s thoroughly unnecessary. it’s like ‘suddenly’ in 2012 les mis -- why is this here??

xii. gus the theatre cat

i am not ashamed to admit that ian mckellen ‘singing’ gus the theatre cat was enough to bring a tear to my eye. because, well. the man may not have sung, but by god he acted. i challenge anyone with a heart to sit through all of cats and not even feel the slightest tug at their heartstrings when gus’s song plays. not even judi dench lifting one leg in appreciation could completely break the mood. oh wait. it did. (also gus got thanos-snapped by macavity immediately after exiting the stage)

xiii. skimbleshanks the railway cat

oooooh fuck YESSSSSS this is the single best song in the whole damn film. skimbleshanks himself?? wonderful. iconic. beautiful. his tap routine?? inspired. he’s skimbleshanks the railway cat -- the cat on the railway train! he inexplicably is wearing red dungarees, making him the fourth cat to be wearing clothes for no reason, and at the very end he spins like a top all the way into the air, before being thanes-snapped out of existence (but happily, not out of the movie) by.....

xiv. macavity the mystery cat

taylor swift is there. she’s undressed except for her cgi fur and a pair of stage heels. she starts tapping her little container of catnip over the collective of cats, causing munkustrap to make the sort of face you see reeve!superman make when he’s being poisoned by kryptonite, except that he is a cat being drugged with catnip and it is hard to take him seriously as a result. the song itself is a perfect guilty pleasure. taylor swift’s accent is shitty enough that you can enjoy the ridiculousness of the entire situation. idris elba cuts in to join the final chorus on ‘the Napoleon of criiiiiimmme’ and then he takes off his pimp coat and is . . . distressingly nude for the rest of the film. he dances briefly with taylor swift. it’s a thing.

anyway they thanos-snap judi dench to a boat on the thames bc she won’t let him go to cat heaven and the rest of the cats are left discombobulated. this is when Local Sadboy mr mistoffelees is uh, peer-pressured into attempting to magic judi dench back to the cats. bc mr mistoffelees has an arc now, you guys. and his arc?? is about getting his mojo back.

xv. mister mistoffelees

this song is also sung in first person by mistoffelees, which makes less sense when you get to the second verse, but whatever the movie only has about twenty minutes left let's just do it. it’s a solid song, but they keep pausing after every chorus to see if he can get judi dench back yet, which really dampens the groove that they have going on. anyway, they get her back, mr mistoffelees believes in himself now, yadda yadda yadda. meawhile back on the boat, this dickhead apparently didn’t bother to teleport the other cats back, so they fight their way out and rebel willson unzips her skin again. at this point in the cinema i was praying for mercy.

xvi. memory

memory was a song. it was clearly sung with a lot of emotion. for me, personally?? that emotion did not connect. sorry jennifer hudson. oh yeah also victoria has a verse in this song and i mentally wanted to s c r e am because this is not your fucking moment victoria, let the sad jennifer hudson cat belt her lungs out in peace

xvii. the ad-dressing of cats

god. let it end. let it end. this last ‘song’ was dragged out minute after minute after minute. judi dench looked into my very soul when she told me a cat was not a dog, and i still don’t know what she found there. when she started talking about cream and pie i could see munkustrap, he of the Giving This Performance His All, continue his impeccable acting by making faces of delight at her words. oh, munkustrap. even now, at the very end, you brought me joy. thank you, dear cat. thank you.

#asks #cinderellasfella #cats #cats 2019

11 notes · View notes

lomlwintersoldier · 5 years

Text

You Know Me {Part 5: Sleepwalking}

Word Count: 3556

Warnings: just some fluffy bucky! mentions of death

Your eyes open to an unfamiliar, sterile, white room. You glance around in confusion; all you remembered was the apartment and...nothing else. You sift through the haze in your mind trying to remember what happened and you glance at your arm. An IV, no doubt pumping morphine or some other painkiller through your veins and you sigh in frustration as you rip it from under your skin, hating the way it makes you feel. You relied on your sharpness, your mind, and with the drug dulling your thoughts, you couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t.

The apartment….the explosion...it all starts to come back to you as your mind becomes more and more alert with each passing second and you vaguely remember Bucky returning to the apartment after his pursuit of the masked attacker, yelling your name and scooping you up in his arms. That was the last thing you remembered, although even that was hazy.

You figure you’re back at the Avengers compound judging on the futuristic, minimalist decor of the hospital room. Glancing around you, you see doctors, nurses, and agents milling around the hallways, and you press the button in your hand. A few moments later, a nurse comes into the room, a young man. “Oh good, you’re finally awake,” he breathes a sigh of relief and starts checking your vitals. He takes note of your removed IV and gives you a pointed look. “I’m gonna put this back now.” You sigh and nod, extending your arm. Your mind had returned to its sharpness but so had the pain and you could see your heart beating erratically on the monitor.

“What happened?” Your voice is hoarse and barely louder than a whisper but you don’t feel as bad as you must look. He opens up the tablet in his hands, recording your vitals before replying.

“The debris that fell on you essentially crushed your torso. You have a collapsed lung, multiple broken ribs and a fractured pelvis, not to mention that you had heavy internal bleeding. We had to put you in a medically induced coma to help you recover.”

“How long have I been out?” You ask, sitting up slightly.

“Twelve days. Mr. Barnes and Mr. Wilson brought you back after the attack in Barcelona. I’ll notify them that you’re awake.”

You nod and lean back into the pillows, wincing. He starts out the door before looking back at you, staring curiously...suspiciously.

“Most people wouldn’t survive something like that,” he states simply before leaving the room.

You lean back against your pillows, taken aback by his words, but your mind begins to race a mile a minute. He was right; you should have died so why weren’t you? What made you special for you to survive injuries like that?

You reach back into your memories trying to find some rhyme or reason, but your mind begins to delve into dangerous territory. You always tried to avoid thinking about your parents but suddenly you wondered if you didn’t know the full story, if they had allowed H.Y.D.R.A. to experiment on you and your sisters. What would that mean?

Your thoughts are interrupted by a knock and you glance up just as Sam pops his head into your room.

“Hey, Dom.” He gives you a pained smile as he takes a seat on the chair beside you. “How’re you feeling?”

“Been better.” You chuckle. He’s quiet for a moment, looking at your battered body. You must’ve looked like hell, based on the bruises you could see. You didn’t want to wonder what your face looked like.

“You wanna tell me what happened out there?” Sams expression is neutral, calculating as he leans forward, elbows resting on his knees as he waits for your response.

“Didn’t Bucky tell you?”

“I want to hear it from you.” You pause for a moment, recollecting your thoughts but you find there’s not much for you to report. You were clueless about who had attacked and how they’d known where you and Bucky were.

“I don’t know. I remember Bucky offering to take first watch and the next thing I know I’m under a shit ton of rubble. The bomb took us out easy.”

“It wasn’t a bomb.”

“What?” You ask quizzically. “What do you mean?”

“We checked the scene once Bucky transported you to safety. There was no evidence of scorch marks, trace residue, shrapnel. There wasn’t even a casing.”

You lean forward, eyes narrowing. “Then what was it?” What could possibly cause that kind of damage without fire?

“That blast didn’t come from a machine.”

“So where did it come from?” Your eyes narrow as your mind begins to dance around the idea of another superhuman coming for the Avengers. No doubt they’d already thought of that possibility.

“That’s what I’m trying to find out.” Sam sighs.

“What does Bucky think?” You ask, knowing that Bucky surely had his own theories, being a soldier and all; he was smart and surely knew that something else was going on.

“We’re worried they’ve found a way to recreate Tony’s repulsion ray. The effects from the blast was very similar to the kind of damage he could do and Bucky left a few days after we got back to investigate it.”

“He’s gone?” You try not to keep your expression neutral but Sam gives you a strange look before replying.

“Yeah, he is. He’ll be back in a few weeks.”

It’s quiet for a moment as neither of you knows what to say next, but Sam looks at you carefully.

“I was worried about you, Dom. We all were.”

You smile. “Thank you, that’s...that’s good to hear.”

“Get better. We all want you safe; you’re one of us now.” Sam reaches for your arm, squeezing it as he stands.

You nod, and he heads out the door, leaving you alone again.

You spend two more weeks bedridden in the med bay, and various members of the Avengers had come to visit and check up on you, except for one. Bucky. You didn’t ask anyone about him, but you still swallowed back a lump in your throat every time there was a knock on your door that turned out not to be him. You were worried about him. The Winter Soldier, the enhanced super soldier that could absolutely take care of himself and didn’t need anyone worrying about him, yet still, the longer he stayed away, the more you agonized over his safety. You’re out of the hospital before he comes back but you remain quiet about your concerns to the rest of the team, not letting on that you even cared.

“We advise against you leaving so soon, but you are allowed to remain in the compound. Strictly on rest.” The doctor says as she clicks the rail from your gurney down. “You can’t be doing any sort of dangerous activity for the next four weeks. You had very traumatic injuries, Dominique. Let your body rest.”

“Alright, doc.” You reply, pursing your lips and looking down at your hands. “Let yourself heal.” She emphasizes. “I’m serious.”

“Yeah, okay.” You grudgingly agree. “Thank you for everything you’ve done.”

She gives you a comforting smile before squeezing your shoulder, allowing you to be taken out in a wheelchair by a nurse. He takes you back to your room and although you’d only slept in it for a few nights at most before your mission, you still feel a comforting rush of familiarity when you find yourself among what little you possess and the only comfortable bed you’ve slept in in years.

You crawl into bed, curling up in the soft sheets before letting sleep overtake you, falling into what you hoped would be a gentle, dreamless sleep. But of course, that’s not what your subconscious intended for you.

“Focus, Dom.” Natasha chastises as her right foot connects with your side, knocking the wind from your chest. You groan and collapse to one knee, right hand clutching at your ribs as you suck in a harsh breath. Natasha circles around you like a vulture waiting to land on its prey, poised to attack with teeth bared.

A growl rips through your lips as you roll to your left, narrowly avoiding Natasha’s fist aimed directly at your face.

“Good!” She compliments you as you hop back on your feet, kicking her twice in the side, but your strikes aren’t nearly as effective. You were holding back.

“Don’t hold back,” Natasha orders through gritted teeth as if she’d read your mind as she parry’s another one of your hits.

You twist and slam your elbow into her side, grabbing her ankle and flipping her onto her back but she catches herself before she hits the ground, using her momentum to jump onto her feet at an inhuman speed. Catching you off guard, Natasha easily grabs you by the throat and slams you backwards to the ground, knocking the breath from your lungs and slamming your head against the mat. You groan as Natasha holds you there, forcing you down longer until finally, she releases your throat, standing up and brushing herself off.

“Get up.” She holds out her hand. Giving her a look, you grudgingly take it.

“You could’ve gone easier,” you mutter as you wipe blood from your mouth.

“You really think H.Y.D.R.A.’s gonna take it easy on you if they ever find you and Amara?” Natasha replies; her tone has taken a dangerous lilt, the one she used when her orders were disobeyed, and you lower your head slightly.

“I’m just saying--”

“They won’t.” Natasha cuts you off. “They will kill her and you, just like they did Nia. You need to be ready for whatever they throw at you, Dom, because you fight like you just did and both of you will be dead faster than you can snap.”

“I’m TRYING, Natasha.” You shoot back exasperatedly as you wipe your face with a towel, the ache in your cheek no doubt a sign of a nasty bruise. “In case you haven’t noticed, you haven’t been around much and we’re still not dead, so give me a little credit.”

Natasha glares at you but the expression dissipates as the words leave your mouth; you were right and she knew it.

“I just want you to be ready,” she mutters contritely. “It’s getting more and more dangerous out there. H.Y.D.R.A. isn’t the biggest baddest monster anymore and I’m worried that now that Fury’s assembling a group of superhumans I won’t be able to protect you anymore.”

“I know,” you sigh, wiping blood from your nose. “But I can do it.”

Natasha sighs and uncharacteristically pulls you into a hug; shocked, it takes you a moment before your arms come around her too and you hold her tightly.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen now that I’m gonna be a part of this thing but it’s up to you now to be in charge, call the shots.”

“Don’t worry, Nat.” You pull back, flashing her an arrogant smile. “We’ll be okay. You go be a hero.”

Startling awake, you sit up in your bed, surrounded by darkness. Panting, you glance at the clock on your side table, realizing it’s only been a few hours since you fell asleep. Falling back on your pillows, you try to catch your breath as you stare up at your ceiling. You hated dreams. Hated how they popped up at the most inconvenient of times, hated how they dug up old wounds. You’d learned to live with the ache of loss in your chest but sometimes, sometimes your subconscious just wanted to screw you over. You swallow back the lump in your throat and force yourself to think of anything except for Natasha and your sisters. It still hurt too much to even open that box. As if knowing you need a distraction, your stomach gives a loud growl.

Sighing, you climb out of bed and tug on some leggings and a tank top, knowing that mostly everyone was either away on missions or asleep, and you carefully grip the specially designed crutches Bruce had made for you. They created a suspended force field around your legs that took your body weight off your injured pelvis so you could walk easily. It didn’t take away the pain of your broken ribs but you were learning to deal with that too.

You make your way down the hall in complete darkness, walking into the empty kitchen and grabbing some ingredients for pasta since you were so hungry. Surviving on hospital food had not done you well.

You’re so wrapped up in your thoughts as you gather your food that you don’t even hear someone come up behind you, but your neck prickles and you whirl around. Well, as quickly as you can ‘whirl around’ considering your lack of grace due to your crutches. But your gaze fixes on the figure at the door, the tall, muscular outline of a man emerging from the shadows.

“Bucky,” you exclaim, surprised. “When did you get back?”

You try not to look too enthusiastic that he’s back, but the worry that you’d felt for weeks is instantly replaced by relief and contentment as you look at his face, although there’s a deep cut on his cheek that makes your heart twinge. You resist the urge to go up to him and stroke his stubbled skin.

“A couple days ago,” he replies hoarsely. “I can come back later if you....”

“No! No, it’s fine. I’m just making some pasta if you want some?” You say it like a question and you hate how your words turn upwards with uncertainty but to your gratefulness, Bucky smiles as if he wasn’t expecting you to invite him to stay.

“Alright. How can I help?” He says, striding across the room to your side, looking down at the ingredients you’d laid out on the counter. Your lips part slightly in surprise but you quickly recover and clear your throat.

“Okay, tomatoes and onions need to get chopped. Oh and the zucchini.” You tack on.

Bucky chuckles at your orders but grabs a knife and cutting board, starting on the tomatoes carefully and diligently. It’s almost funny watching him chop vegetables because his fluid motions remind you that he has expert knife handling skills; it was entertaining to see it used in an action as domestic as cutting vegetables.

You also see his hands, both of them, and for the first time, you get a good look at his metal arm. He normally wore long sleeves and gloves but tonight he’s just in sweatpants and a short sleeve shirt, revealing the black and gold appendage the Wakandans had made for him. The plates shift with his movements and you realize that no matter how small his motions are, the plates move constantly to keep up with his actions; he holds the tomato delicately between his vibranium fingers working quickly and carefully as you fill the pot with water, setting it down on the stove.

“How are you feeling?” He asks as he looks up at you earnestly. He puts the chopped tomatoes in a bowl before starting on the onions.

“I’m okay. Just can’t wait to get back out there.” You chuckle bitterly at your predicament. His eyes flick painfully at your battered body and even though you looked a thousand times better than you did two weeks ago, you still moved like every shift hurt you.

“How long until you’re all good again?” His hands continue working but his eyes don’t leave yours and you’re suddenly very aware of how close the two of you are standing to each other, side by side chopping vegetables.

“They said four weeks.” You mutter, tearing your gaze away from him and grabbing the uncooked pasta box. “I’m technically not even allowed to be out of bed yet but I’m healing fast and Bruce made me these handy things....” You gesture down at the crutches.

He’s quiet for a moment, looking down at the tomatoes as he slowly scoops them into a bowl.

“You know, when it happened, I...I was scared. For you.” His voice is rough, dark, and you hear him trying to contain the emotion in his words.

“Why?” Your reply is small, barely a whisper as your eyes meet his, and the silence holds him there for a moment, waiting for him to say what he wants to.

“You were under a huge pile of debris, Dom. I thought you were dead.”

You resist the urge to ask him why he would care if you died and instead stay quiet, looking down at your own hands as you chop the zucchini into little pieces.

“Well, thankfully, I’m not.” You reply simply, flashing him a quick smile as you break the moment, trying to keep the conversation light hearted.

The two of you continue to work in silence but it’s not uncomfortable like the other periods of silence you endured with him, you realize. It feels comfortable, like the two of you were okay with just being in each other’s presence, not feeling drawn to talk and when you finish cooking, Bucky makes you sit down while he grabs the bowls.

“I’m perfectly capable of carrying my own food.” You protest lightly as he pushes you forward gently by your shoulders, forcing you into a chair.

“Don’t worry, I’m aware. Just let me do it this once.” He placates you as he places the bowl of food in front of you and grabs some utensils before taking the seat beside yours. You shift uncomfortably in your seat, the angle hurting your back and spreading pain through your legs as you try to eat.

“Why don’t we go sit on the couches?” He suggests, standing and swiftly picking up both your bowls. He must’ve been watching you struggle to get comfortable.

You follow him out to the dark living room, taking a seat on the soft, much more comfortable sofa, watching as he flicks on a light in the corner. He sits down beside you, handing you your food as he reaches for the remote.

“Wanna watch something with me?”

The two of you settle on a horror movie, an old flick about a haunting in an old church in Romania, and a few minutes in, he grabs one of the blankets hanging over the sofa and spreads it over your legs wordlessly, no doubt feeling the chill in the air himself. You thank him and smile, surprised by how tender and thoughtful he’s been with you tonight.

It’s not long until the upright position starts to hurt and you kick your feet up on the ottoman, getting more comfortable but as you lay down more, you realize you’re closer to Bucky than you thought you were. His arm skims yours with every breath he takes and you’re becoming more distracted by him than by the movie. But you settle into the couch, watching as the demon dressed like a nun attacks the protagonists, the small lamp in the corner, the only source of light in the room, casts a dim glow over you and Bucky. As time passes, your eyes feel heavier and heavier and every few moments you have to force them open again, but eventually, you give in to sleep, letting yourself slip into the comfortable darkness.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky watches her as she falls asleep, her head lolling a few times as a result of her forcing herself to stay awake before she finally gives in, her head coming to rest against his shoulder.

His heart skips a beat as the contact surprises him but not unpleasantly so; he actually welcomes it. Her body is warm, and against his better judgement, he drapes his flesh arm over her so she’s tucked into his side, and his hand comes to rest on her waist, fingers spreading over her skin. He shifts her so she’s laying down but that makes it so he has to lay down too and now he’s full on cuddling with her, cradling her small frame against his chest. Her arms are draped across his torso, dangling off the edge of the couch as her soft breaths spread across his shirt.

Abandoning the movie, he stares at her sleeping face, the way her hair falls across her cheeks, and he brushes the strands away from her skin, letting his touch linger for a moment as he cradles her to his chest.

What the hell are you doing, Buck? He thinks to himself, unable to tear his eyes away from her face.

Without waking her, he switches the TV off and carefully scoops her up, doing his best not to wake her, and starts down the hall, turning the light switch off on the way out with his elbow. Her head rests against his chest as he brings her to her room, pushing the door open with his shoulder. He lays her on the bed, pulling the blankets up to her shoulder as she rolls on her side, wrapping her arms and legs around a pillow.

“Goodnight, Dom.” He whispers as he closes the door with a soft snick.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next Part: Coming Soon!

Masterlist

Tags: @xxchexchickxx @killpop-writes @melconnor2007@psychicwitchphilosopher @frolicsomefawkes @the-witching-hours12-3 @bubblegumuntsr @badassbaker @trashsnitches@barnes-toddpartnersinheartbreak @thickthighedqueen@megandrawsspace @rda1989 @ailynalonso15 @cupcaitlyn96@take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d @thefridgeismybestie @elleatrixlestrange@browncoatforever @elitafuckingone @siobhanrebecca @ my-girl-is-the-best @dugan365

43 notes · View notes

flimflamfranky · 5 years

Text

the cp9 might be terrible at their jobs: a meta

so, water 7 + enies lobby is probably my favorite one piece arcs of all time: it introduces my favorite character, has that good character development, amazing villains, beautiful scenery. so ive frequently revisited it. and it always shocks me how much the cp9 don’t know. like, they don’t know jack shit. and i wanna talk about it.

so, let’s review shall we? so, cp9 had four undercover agents: two as shipwrights (lucci and kaku), one w iceburg as his secretary (kalifa) and one in the town (blueno). they were sent to find the blueprints of the secret weapon, and were undercover for five years. this means that they started their work about 3 years after tom’s arrest and franky’s “death”.

only eight years has passed since tom’s arrest. and tom was a well-known figure in water 7. he built the train that literally saved water 7 from poverty, and the people of water 7 know that. and even before then, he was known for being the guy that built the pirate king’s ship. and, on top that, he was the only (noticeable) fishman living on water 7, and given the sentiments on fishman, i doubt this went unnoticed.

and people most likely knew about his apprentices too. people probably didn’t take too much interest in them, but they had to know they existed. franky and iceburg were always with tom, and they were prominently featured in tom’s arrest, franky especially, which was a highly public event! he bashed a government official’s head in, that’s the type of thing people remember.

and yet-

these guys barely knew iceburg was apprenticed to tom, and they only recently found out that franky even existed. and this baffles me because their boss was the one who got his face smashed. and spandam definitely holds a grudge over this, so he didn’t just forget about franky. spandam knew that there were two apprentices. and yet his underlings didn’t even know that for a majority of their time undercover.

and! what’s more!! cp9 had never heard the name cutty flam before going undercover. the only reason their whole thing works and they get the blueprint is because cutty flam is written on the fake blueprints and they heard the name once when franky used it when he first returned to water 7.

again, spandam knew who cutty flam was. he knew that cutty flam was apprenticed to tom, or, at the very least, somehow related. this was made very clear in franky’s backstory.

and he didn’t even think to mention that name to his underlings? cp9 knew that franky used the name cutty flam for four years, and they didn’t figure out anything until the very last second.

though, i don’t think this is necessarily a plot hole or anything. there’s a simple explanation for why this happened and why cp9 didn’t know anything-

and that’s because the government agencies are apparently really bad at communicating with each other. and spandam’s promotion to head of cp9 was more recent, so it’s possible that he didn’t deal with the agents that much. and his information was lost to the bureaucracy.

but, back to the title. this post is about how the cp9 are terrible at their jobs. im not saying they’re not strong, or that they’re not good assassins (tho i would say they’re not exactly quick and efficient), but they are terrible spies. like, their information gathering skills are the pits.

they were in water 7 for five years. they knew that franky used the name cutty flam, and then went by a different name. lucci, kaku and kalifa all remember that moment. kalifa, at the time, even noted that the man seemed suspicious and definitely saw iceburg’s visceral reaction to the name-

and they didn’t think to investigate that?? they didn’t keep tabs on iceburg and follow him to that secret meeting he had with franky? those two discussed some very incriminating stuff in a unsecured location that would have been so easy to spy on. but no.

and, they note that there are no records or anything on the apprentices. that makes sense, given that both of them were orphans or similar abandoned by their families. i doubt either of them lived in a orphanage or were ‘officially’ adopted by tom. paper-work wise, they were invisible.

but again, tom’s arrest was only eight years ago. that’s not very long. there has to be a public memory of those apprentices. again, one of them bashed an official’s head in. i wouldn’t be surprised if that was something people still talked about. at the very least, tom and his apprentices were common knowledge to the people of water 7. even tom’s trial and the details of it were public knowledge - that’s how spandam finds out about it.

cp9 lived there for 5 years. even if they didn’t specifically seek it out, surely they would have heard something. something about the fishman who built the sea train, or his violent apprentice that based someone’s head in and ran around in speedos. blueno was a bartender, for pete’s sake! people tell bartenders everything!

(and side note: someone had to make the connection between franky and cutty flam. yeah, franky changed a lot in his size and shape, but he was still a blue haired, speedo clad guy running around. and the speedo thing is definitely weird, people point it out all the time. so there can’t be that many guys like that around. someone in water 7 had to the make the connection. there had to be some sort of gossip mill running around about it).

and yet, cp9 were completely in the dark about everything! i don’t think they did any proper spy work. they just waited until robin showed up and then got lucky with that fake blueprints. like, if iceburg hadn’t used one of the tom’s workers blueprints, cp9 would have never figured out who cutty flam was and would have never gotten those blueprints.

those guys were just awful spies.

#one piece #cipher pol number 9 #cp9 #rob lucci #franky #iceburg #meta #one piece meta #it was only 8 years!!#the way lucci talked about it made it seem like generations but it was only 8 years #that's really not a long time #they could have easily figured out about tom's apprentices #like if they had just poked around the city they could've found their old workshop #with pictures and everything #cp9 were just terrible spies #my stuff #i think they even knew about the workshop too #or were aware that franky used it

349 notes · View notes

feel199x · 5 years

Text

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚apple of my eye ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ VII

I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X masterlist

gang!au, gang member!han jisung, band!au, florist!reader

a/n: this chapter is written from a different perspective again;;; also seven chapters but the series is almost coming to a close!

warnings: blood and gun mention, cussing, angst but fluff if u squint hard enough

┍━━━━━━━✿━━━━━━━┑

Minho was the first person Jisung had called, Minho was always the first person Jisung would call. Jisung was bleeding pretty badly, gripping his thigh as he sat behind a counter. He couldn’t go to the hospital, not with everything he thought he had done- so he just sat there, waiting for Minho. Jisung cried because he couldn’t do anything but wait, there was nothing else he was capable of doing. He couldn’t take care of himself, so he waited for Minho. And because he was waiting for Minho, there was nothing he could do to help you- so, he had to wait. Jisung was never good at waiting, patience was not something he was fond of. If he wanted to do something, to understand something- to be good at something, he needed that to happen urgently. Because of that, he tended to drop habits quickly, before he could really tell if he was truly good or bad at something. He only really learned patience after you, watching and observing you. You didn’t complain when he was gone, never scolded him for having other responsibilities. Even after having the only things you really cared about taken away, you didn’t rush to have the construction finished or the insurance to pay you back. Jisung was crying harder now, wiping away his tears with bloody hands as the record continued to play. He didn’t want it to keep playing, but he also didn’t have the heart to stop it.

Minho had arrived as soon as he could, running red lights and avoiding as many cops as he could. Jisung’s eyes were getting heavy as Minho put him in the back of the group’s car.

“How the fuck did this happen?”

“I don’t know, it was probably N/S.”

“Oh fuck, you don’t actually think-?”

“Where’s ___?”

Jisung could barely keep track of the conversation and who was speaking, but when he heard your name, he sputtered out a weak answer.

“He took them.”

Jisung couldn’t make sense of the loud conversation after that, just trying to focus on staying awake until they reached the hide-out.

“Jisung, this is Chan, okay? I’m going to clean the wound and take the bullet it out. It’s going to hurt.”

“Woojin, get the cloth ready. Minho, keep him quiet until we get to the hide out.”

Chan was cutting the fabric of Jisung’s pant leg to find the wound. It was only a slight graze, and the wound wasn’t very deep. Still, Jisung was bleeding with more blood than they could manage. “He’s bleeding too much, I don’t know if he’ll make it-”

“Letting him die is not a fucking option!”

“Here, okay- let’s calm down- Chan, I’ll stop the bleeding, just get the tweezers ready.”

The song from the record was still playing in Jisung’s head as he weakly hummed along. He wasn’t making sense of what happened, he didn’t want to make sense of what was happening. He just missed you. He wanted to hold your hand, feel it’s softness in his and he wanted to peck your lips- he wanted to do so much more than time allowed him. Jisung was still crying, soft tears streaming down the sides of his face and he could feel it pool in the creases of his ears.

“Fuck, there’s someone following us- Chan hurry up before they-!”

“You wanna come down here an-”

“Shit!”

Jisung wanted to sing, he wanted to rap, and he wanted to dance. How could all of these things be taken away from him? Why were the only things that mattered slipping away from his hands? He worked so hard to get here, he got restless whenever he couldn’t finish a lyric or nail a dance move. He wouldn’t stop until he perfected them, because really, that’s the only thing he did have patience for- the only thing he would practice until all his bones turned to dust.

“Felix, Seugmin, pop your head out the window and sh-.”

“Are you insane?”

“Just do it!”

“Hyunjin, step on it- lose them.”

Jisung’s eyes were getting heavier by the second, drifting in an out of consciousness. It felt like he was in a dream state, he couldn’t even feel the pain from his thigh anymore. It felt okay like everything was okay because none of it seemed real anyway.

“Jisung, please, please stay awake, okay? You have so much to live through, stay awak-”

“I can’t lose them, they’re right on our ass.”

“Felix-!”

“Kinda hard to shoot their tires when we’re going a hundred and fifty miles per fucking hour!”

Someone squeezed his hand, but Jisung’s eyes were already drooping. At the very least, Jisung was before he felt a shooting pain go up his thigh, pain like he had never experienced before- not even the last time he was shot. So, he screamed.

“Minho-.”

“On it. Sorry, Jisung.”

Jisung went to pull off the hand on his mouth, muffling his screams. But his body couldn’t take the stress, going limp from everything that had gone down in less than half an hour.

“Jisung? Jisung-!”

---

It had only been a week later when Jisung had finally woken up. Minho hadn’t left Jisung’s side, everyone lingering around the bed and room. They only really left to make something to eat, but returned to the bedroom when they were finished, refusing to leave Jisung out of their usual activities. Minho kept checking Jisung’s pulse nearly every hour, to comfort himself with the slow but significant beating pulse of Jisung’s arm. Everyone was scared out of their minds, even if they wouldn’t say it out loud. Somehow, this situation seemed a lot worse than the previous time. Chan hadn’t known anything about medicine then, and it was only by a miracle that they were able to take out the bullet. But that wasn’t the only problem. Eventually, the group had to leave, they had to face the music. Tension only seemed to grow thicker the longer they isolated themselves out of society, and they all had responsibilities that unfortunately, couldn’t be abandoned.

“I think that maybe we could negotiate with him, right?”

“He shot Jisung, he wanted to kill him. And plus, are you forgetting about ___? Who’s going to report them as missing persons?”

“Minho’s right, Chan. Maybe this is out of our hands.”

Both of the boys looked back at Woojin, impatience and displease in their eyes. “We won’t be able to make music if we’re all in jail. Plus, we,” Minho gestured to everyone in the room, “haven’t killed anybody or even attempted to.”

“Right, we can stop selling- that’s what we’ll tell them.”

“What about ___?” Jisung asked quietly, voice emerging from the bed. Everyone in the room rushed to his bedside, clambering on to sit beside or around him. “We can talk about that later,” Jeongin spoke, “Are you okay?” Mutters of agreement flooded the room, a variety of ‘are you okay’s and ‘how are you feeling?’ was asked without breaks, overlapping one another as they spoke.

“How long have I been out?” Jisung asked, “Did you find ___?”

“A week,” Minho answered calmly, “and no. Not yet, the guy went rogue. We’re working on a negotiation.”

The room went quiet as everyone watched for Jisung’s reaction.

“I’m sorry,” his voice didn’t waver, firm like never before, “for making a mess, for putting you all through this.”

“Hey,” Chan patted Jisung’s back, “it’s not your fault. We’re all at fault here.”

Jisung moved to get up, ignoring the throbbing pain from his thigh. “You need to take your time,” Minho said sharply, “If you push yourself before you’re ready, you’re just going to fall apart. Who are you going to help them.”

“Love you too, Minho.”

“Then stay in bed, and we’ll get you some food.”

But Jisung was unnerved, as much as he wanted to focus on himself and pace himself to be in his best condition to come and help you- you were all he could think about. Even as he ate, light, distracting conversation filling the room, the record’s song still floated through his memory. He could still feel his head resting against your chest as you stroked his hair. He wish he could have prepared, done something to have prevented the situation.

But there was nothing he could’ve done, nothing indeed.

Minho knew that Jisung would be beating himself up. When Jisung was younger, everytime something bad happened- he would cry and cry. After he found the dead baby bird, he insisted on giving it a proper burial in a special place in the playground. The boys begrudgingly joined, not wanting Jisung to mourn the death all alone. Even after they had made a special box and a stone grave, even after they dug a shallow hole and buried it, Jisung lingered around the tree. He insisted that he was okay, just making sure that no one would dig the baby bird back up. But no one commented when they saw him wipe silent childish tears off his cheeks when they all had to go back to class. Jisung got rejected, and often. But instead of feeling bitterness towards the person, or trying to pursue them again- he beat himself up. He was a hopeless romantic, teddy bear inside and out- believing he would meet ‘the one’ soon. But that didn’t make the rejection hurt less, because, in his mind, something had to be wrong with him in order for him to get rejected all these times.

“Minho, what if my soulmate rejects me?”

“Then they’re not your soulmate, Jisung. Anyone who rejects you isn’t worth your time.”

Jisung knew that what Minho was saying had some truth to it, but at the time he just couldn’t see himself fall in love. Not because he had sworn off of it, but he was just so busy these days, breathing, eating, and sleeping music. It felt like his youth was slipping through the cracks of his fingers like sands of times. And he loved it, he did. It was his dream to be successful in music, and he was, they were. Even if their start was less than graceful, they didn’t even need the drug bribe to convince people to come listen to their music anymore, people were genuinely interested in their music. So, the thought of love was eventually pushed into the depths of his mind,

Until he entered your flower shop.

He was just picking up flowers for his grandmother, he didn’t expect anything special to happen. The truth was, he was slacking off on visiting his grandmother- so his parents called him, urging to pay her a visit. The first thing his grandmother did was make him go on a bunch of errands, with the promises of good food if he had gotten everything done without getting distracted. And what was a better motivator than food? Only love.

He had expected to see an elderly lady like his grandmother running the shop, but instead, he saw you putting flowers into a vase, and his first reaction was to hide behind a pot of flowers. But the windchimes at the door betrayed him, and you had called out to him, asking if he needed any help. Jisung believed in love at first sight, and this? This was love at first sight.

“Jisung!” Minho snapped Jisung out of his thoughts, “We don’t have time, you need to follow me.”

“Minho-?”

“Jisung, we don’t have time!”

There was nothing he could’ve done to prepare, nothing indeed.

┕━━━━━━━✿━━━━━━━┙

#stray kids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids imagines #skz angst #stray kids han #skz imagines #skz fic #skz fluff #skz han jisung #han jisung #han jisung fanfic #han jisung imagine #han jisung imagines

37 notes · View notes

shidiand · 5 years

Note

How do you imagine Tenco's Story ending in your head?

that is a GREAT but UNEXPECTED QUESTION freshlybaked "spider" bread and i'm really happy to have the opportunity to try and answer this ageless question that has burned within all of us in the tenco's story iv waiting room community since 2013. it is an incredible coincidence (or is it? 👀) that i was just talking to Risa about tenco's this (edit: yesterday) morning so i am extra double super in the mood to talk about Tenco's Story today. so excellent of a coincidence is this that i am tempted to refer you to them in case you wanted to hear their thoughts on the matter that would probably turn out super cool, but that is neither here nor there; let us talk Tenco's Story.

i of course must mention my unadvertised and modestly detailed commentary on tenco's i-iii at https://shidiand.tumblr.com/tencos, presenting slightly interesting facts in an unwieldy and difficult-to-use format, but as it dates back to june 2017, i want to take some time to understand my feelings about the series once more.

tenco's story is a series that has a lot of meaning to me.

i took on my current name of shidiand in november of 2013. i was still in 11th grade at the time, 4th year of high school, and a very socially isolated person. i should say i was introduced to touhou in 7th grade, 2010, so i was still working through a 3 years-strong phase of trying to simultaneously both find an outlet for and bottle up an endless wellspring of awkward weeaboo-gamer nerd energy at the time.

i had my first real foray onto the internet in 2010, tried out twitter, followed some RPers and other people who had Cool Touhou Usernames. didn't really go anywhere. i had maybe 50 followers, i dont really know the count but it was definitely a) double digits and b) pretty low. didn't know what to tweet about. didn't know how to hit it off with others. i think there was basically maybe only 3 other people i ever properly interacted with. oh shit i was playing league of legends at the time. oh my god. i really did play league of .. oh my god. let's move on.

aw shit im super digressing amn't i. well.

this is just how it goes when i write essays on tumblr.com.

i'm afraid you're just along for the ride at this point so please do your best to enjoy it.

i got kind of tired of twitter at the time because i didnt know what to do with it. didnt know how to interact with people and didnt find the people i was following interesting, so i ghosted on out of there by the end of 2012. didnt deactivate it until like 2015 but at that point that was just burning away my dark history. anyways. november 2013.

--im taking a lot of time here trawling through old files on my computer, my tumblr blog, notification emails still lying around in my gmail inbox from twitter, the dropbox i didn't actually use but it had several tenco's story pictures on it but i deleted them so this was useless, ... to trace the timeline of this story and im really seeing a lot of remnants of dark history here you know? did you know i wrote a letter to a girl i had a crush on valentine's day 2014, slipped it into her locker, and anxiously hung around nearby at lunchtime to see how she reacted at lunchtime? i certainly didn't, or at least i made darn ass sure to forget about this incredible virgin incident and not remember it, ever, until i came across the records of it that i thoughtfully preserved for the me of 5 years later today. ok well now i have to read the letter to see if it was as bad as it just sounded there brb

ok so the good news is that it was actually very focused on being positive and full of admiration for the cool things she did instead of being a confession letter so i am very glad i was able to be a respectful chad 5 years ago, but the bad news is that the jokes, the actual sentences i put together. oh my god. but i mean. well. at least i got the spirit. its certainly a step up from this other person in my grade, WEEABOO ANDREW, YOU MAY RECALL THIS STORY AND HIS NAME FROM PREVIOUS STORYTIMES, THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND who came to school on halloween once cosplaying kirito from sword art online and got very possessive about people asking if they could hold his black replica plastic sword, and probably worse, dropped a "will you be my girlfriend" letter into the locker of my homie and fellow trombonist samantha, who was a little bit nerdy, hung out with the anime-likers who were actually sociable and fun to be around so you can imagine why weeaboo andrew was into her, which had i) a direct quotation from SAO chapter 16.5 (origin of the famous "glopping noise" line), and ii) a condom. jesus christ. i dont want to talk about this any more. next topic.

i also put this drawing of iku nagae and her skarmory (actually an albinoss from 18 DRAGONS) on the other side of the letter because it was the coolest thing i could think of drawing at the time. and i completely agree with 2014 me because it IS super fucking cool. hell fuckin yeah

https://shidiand.tumblr.com/post/76301993387/iku-nagae-ft-that-thing-that-supposedly-is-a

alright that was a fun little trip down memory lane but lets get back on track. november 2013. i started anew as shidiand. still awkward, still learning how to express myself and looking for my place among others. i followed some touhou bloggers, hung around r/touhou a lot as well. in december i got my first tablet for christmas, a wacom bamboo splash. i still use this thing! the usb cable disconnects if you bump it so i have to find just the perfect position to sit in whenever i want to draw, but its served me well. anyways. i was just starting to play around with digital art but i remember, probably just before new years, for some reason i wanted to find out more about tenshi hinanawi (i don't remember why. tenshi wasn't even one of my favourite characters at the time) so i went googling and right there on zerochan i found this:

https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=23525572

this was during my dark souls phase so i just went BANANAS at the sight of this. this was literally the coolest image i had ever seen in my internet life. That image alone made me want to draw in hopes that I could make something as cool as that someday.

it wasn't immediately after but i soon discovered tenco's story, and it was love. kannnu was my very first artistic inspiration, and for a long time, my only one. i absolutely idolized them at the time. since then, ive found other artists to look up to, in a more healthy manner, but to this day i still look up to kannnu, still admire their work a lot.

i played around with drawing, followed the lives of people on tumblr, started reading touhou fanfiction, made a new twitter. i met a lot of new people along the way. some people i havent stuck with, some i cut ties with, and some people i still keep in contact with today. over those long 5 years of being shidiand, i found a name (i used to use shidian and then shid, but someone called me shidi once and i realized that was a lot better), how to reach out to others, how to express myself, places that i could feel included in. this is why i owe a blood debt to evelyn, who permitted me to kneel at her throne and was like "yea ok you can join my discord server u seem cool". evelyn, if you were confused by me ominously mentioning this blood debt/blood oath in a tumblr reply 1-2 years ago, this is the context. those 5 years were like a coming of age of sorts, that i never had when i was in high school.

and my love for tenco's story, that inspired me to draw that day, has been with me since almost the very beginning of my time as shidiand. from the beginning, i have always encouraged people to READ TENCO'S STORY, like the kin of those who cry PLAY MELTY or WATCH SYMPHOGEAR. i think my very first sidebar description was something akin to a prayer, written in very choral language, hoping for the day tenco's story iv was completed, ..., "meanwhile, furious shitposting". kannnu's work, finding delight in whatever they chose to draw, has been at my side, all along. my true mentor, my guiding moonlight...

so that's why i still to this day love tenco's story so much.

let's talk about tenco's story.

tenco's story is a story told through single pictures. the plot is vague, and details are sparse. dialogue is rare. we only know what has happened; we seldom know why. furthermore, there are many gaps between scenes that the reader is left to fill in for themselves; we see only snapshots that form an hazy outline of the events that occurred, and must imagine the rest. motivations and explanations fail me. but even with a barebones plot, tenco's story has themes, and if nothing else, those have to be carried through.

the main theme, of course, is journey and travel, but there are also other ideas, too. i actually think they start to change as the series goes on:

book i, where tenshi runs away from home, is about striking out on your own. it's a very fun and unpredictable journey, together with a friend.

book ii, where tenshi and iku are separated, forces tenshi to find and rely on companions of her own even more. but they do so, and they are able overcome hardships, and there is food and festival.

book iii marks a climax, reasserting tenshi's goal of finding the sword of hisou. i feel like the journey shifts from a travel (visiting) to a path forwards (making your way through). perhaps this is just something i get from knowing the locations from dark souls (Anor Londo, New Londo Ruins, the Great Hollow), but the locations start to give more of a sense of verticality, like they're emphasizing tenshi's climb to the summit. the hardships and enemies are the greatest they've been yet, and right when they near the top, tenshi and iku start to bleed. the book ends on an uncertain note.

if i had to describe the type of journey and travel that tenshi and iku undertake, there's this sense of wonder at discovering new places, wandering from vista to vista in delight, but also a sense of conquering, making it through a difficult patch. the sequence from pages 2-44 to 2-51, taken together, convey this sense of overcoming the best. it's one of my favourite parts. again, although the tone definitely starts to lean towards struggle in book iii, i think tenco's sense of wonder really is the heart of the series. there's no map of the world, no predicting where tenshi and iku will end up next. and through their travels, though they come across many enemies, they also find friends -- places of refuge, places full of life, people who will look after them for a few days, companions who will stay with them for the rest of the journey. at the end of book iii, we see a long haired tenshi with purple hair being impaled by the sword of hisou (3-33, see also this extra illustration that risa pointed out to me http://sinnnkai.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-195.html), and regular short haired tenshi continuing on her journey (3-42). if we ignore the out-of-story images where tenshi has the sword of hisou, tenshi has actually only ever used her sunlight blade (2-24, 3-26, etc), so i think that the long haired tenshi on 3-33 is a different person altogether. (if i had to guess, she might be the purple haired woman in the top left of https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=35443328 as we have never seen that woman appear anywhere.) she probably has something to do with the flashbacks at the end of book ii and she might somehow be short-haired tenshi at the same time, but this is just speculation.

however, in 3-43, tenshi's hair is rather blue, so i don't know if this is the purple haired woman or not. if it is, tenshi is probably still fine and closing in on the summit, but if it isn't, then it's very worrying to see a picture of tenshi without any of her companions. it's very ominous.

meanwhile, iku, while climbing the red carpeted corridor, is stabbed, and disappears for a few pages. there's a black page, a shot of a shrine that strongly resembles the hakurei shrine, and a picture of iku standing behind someone in a tux, with the line "In the past, I was saved by the lady I was serving, you see?". and then iku wakes up in a field of flowers.

i think what this scene makes clear is a theme that has continued to appear and reappear throughout every book of "being saved, being aided by someone's kindness".

i think another theme that is implied and has to be addressed by this story of running away from home is "return". something im imagining is that the reason tenshi makes finding the sword of hisou her goal is because she wants to have something to prove herself with, to vindicate her when she comes home. but i don't think she needs to prove anything, and i ultimately think that she would be happier spending the rest of her life exploring.

so i think this should be what happens in the ending.

open on iku's journey, and give her a long sequence of travel without seeing tenshi. underline her newfound resolve. she climbs to the summit with albinoss, and finds the rest of tenshi's companions fallen. and in the last room is sword of hisou tenshi, who has lost herself, and it comes down to iku to bring her back. after a difficult battle, when both of them are on their last legs, iku is unable to stand any longer. but at this moment tenshi sees her companions struggling to get back up and reach her, and that's what brings her to her senses. and iku gets to see how many friends tenshi's been able to make on her own, and they finally and properly reunite. together, tenshi and iku carry each other out of the last room.

i don't think it's necessary to return to heaven. as a conclusion, dedicate some time to tenshi and iku travelling together. they're on their way back, revisiting old friends who helped them along the way, enjoying the journey. their last stop is the house of the elderly nawis (1-42). tenshi shows off the sword of hisou; she decided to keep it not as a trophy to show her family but as proof of the bonds of her companions. surrounded by friends, tenshi and iku decide to part ways with each other, knowing that the other will be alright. iku drifts among the clouds once more, and tenshi sets off for the horizon.

that's the plot that i'd write/just wrote. i don't really expect tenco's story iv to ever come out, though. i mentioned my first sidebar description earlier in this essay, but of course, you can see that it's been changed. 2 years ago, i read my hopeful prayer once more and was struck with a terrible melancholy, so now it reads this: "having come to terms with the fact that tenco's story iv will never be released, i can still live, knowing that the spirit of the journey will live on through kannnu's original works [...] meanwhile, furious shitposting".

on one level, tenco's story is a story, but in the process of following it, i came to think of the work itself as a journey too. you can constantly see kannnu's improvement between and even within each book. they have always drawn whatever they liked; what plot matters in the face of "I wanted to draw a beautiful sky." "I wanted to draw a fantastic battle." "I wanted to draw Dark Souls and Monster Hunter and Pokemon and Brave Fencer Musashi and Bokura no Taiyou and Touhou."

its not really kannnu's style to go back and tie up old ends. they just draw whatever makes them happy. so as i watch them continue to draw beautiful places and fantastic creatures, new characters heading out on journeys of their own or just enjoying their everyday lives, it's as if tenco's story never ended. the limits and consistency of that world ignored, and a new one springs up; in a way, the world of tenco's, which had such thin boundaries, just gets bigger.

but even so, having said all that, i still see them draw that short-haired tenshi from time to time. it makes me happy to see them remember tenco's story with such fondness. often crossing over with orion or roar or elweiss, you can see tenshi on another journey.

#tenco's story #freshlybakedspiderbread

3 notes · View notes