#(this is besides the hydra shit which is a totally different thing)

[our-blood-is-our-ink]

Agatha is not a villain. She's not a hero, but she's not a villain. If she were a villain we would have seen her before now. She's not a nice person, she's not good by any means (that hurts to say) but she's not evil despite using the darkhold. She doesn't appear to kill unnecessarily, only those who's power she's after, which makes her more of a serial killer than anything else. But we don't walk around calling people like the Zodiac a villain. We might call em evil, morally wrong, ethically wrong, but not a villain. So. Stop calling Agatha a villain. It doesn't fit her at all, and it's a disservice to place her in the same category as Thanos and Ultron.

[invaders-forever]

Toro's Powers/Inhuman Part 2

alright, last post (here) talked about the powers themselves and how they work with Toro as a character. So what about his relationships, and his place in the team/teams? (another long one) also, his backstory a little bit bc i just want to talk about toro. this isn't english class, i don't need structure lol (much heavier on headcanons)

Let's start with the obvious. Jim. Jim could probably give less of a fuck what toro "is", because he is Toro and he is Jim's son and that's enough. the new powers, i can see that creating some internal angst for jim at first bc toro having the same powers as him kinda reassured him of his own humanity and their similar powers were the first building block in their relationship. but once jim escapes the evil anxiety spiral and remembers Toro isn't going anywhere, he's incredibly supportive. (we see a glimpse of this in canon, where he supports Toro's choice in going to Atalian. the new powers still catch him off guard sometimes, but he's also secretly glad bc it means Toro isn't constantly comparing himself to Jim anymore, and it boosts Toro's self-confidence. (srsly, re-reading this stuff now that i'm not an angsty middle schooler, my boy needs several hugs and therapy. he makes blatantly suicidal comments both in the Torch and Invaders Now, not to mention several times in earlier comics where he makes self-deprecating comments comparing himself to Jim.)

Next up, Nora and Fred Raymond. Betcha didn't see that one coming! Obviously learning you're an entirely different species is going to re-contextualize some shit about your parents, but not necessarily in the way you'd expect. See, Toro's parents were both brilliant chemists (or otherwise chemistry adjacent scientists. the details of how the fuck horton cells work is sketchy at best). Toro never got to know them well, both because of a number of things they were keeping from him and how young he was when they died. Toro himself says he never knew much about his mother when she's brought up in The Torch, and a part of his motivation is specifically to find out more about his parents. Because his new powers are heavily reliant on chemistry, he'll probably be doing a lot of research in that area, which in a way brings him a little closer to his parents.

Iron Cross (the Clare Grueller incarnation) is a character Toro literally would not have met without being an inhuman. Sadly we don't get to see much of them interacting besides mutually telling inhuman eugenics guy to fuck off and/or fight them (a great basis for a friendship if you ask me) Here we enter head canon territory. I personally think it would be really cool if Toro and Clare continued to have a relationship, bonding over inhuman stuff/invaders bagage/generally wanting to make the world a better place without ending up in the news. Maybe Toro helps Clare cope with the implications of becoming one with her suit (he's got a lot of experience with cyborgs androids and the like) and maybe she builds him a computer to integrate into his suit that helps him identify unfamiliar chemicals on the fly, or that can show him how to make specific chemicals (like the human-atlantean switch stuff).

Namor. Oh boy. Um, Namor is complicated. As a mutant he's kind of expected to have some thoughts on the inhuman business, and while it seems like he does in the invaders part of the hydra supreme mess, this isn't necessarily the case. (I'm totally writing a fic on this scene later, but he's faking it to try to get toro to leave/distance himself from toro so he can act like he doesn't care) meanwhile, when it's first revealed Namor's actually pretty chill abt it. So may or may not be a factor, more likely to be a problem if Toro's working with/for/ int the interest of other Inhumans, or trying to mediate between Namor and Blackbolt or something.

Anyway, Namor knows what it's like to be something different than you thought, and even something that doesn't really exist outside of you (toro is inhuman, but he's also a hortanesc cyberg a-la-spitfire, and maybe still a mutant- i'll get back to that later) I think much like Jim Namor is very caught off guard by the new powers. Underneath everything, I think he's still tempted to see toro as a little kid, a painfully vulnerable surface dweller who took a bullet to the chest in berlin (bucky's whole 'that could never be you in there so you don't understand' speech really hit a nerve i think) Oh, and Namor also WATCHED TORO DIE after toro PURPOSEFULLY PUT HIMSELF IN DANGER TO SAVE NAMOR. so yeah, no matter how powerful toro gets, no matter how smartly he uses his power, i think namor has a really hard time seeing toro as anything other than vulnerable. Which brings us to the real hard pill to swallow-

Toro can kick Namor's ass now. At least, if he has the drop. Toro can dehydrate him. Toro can manifest vibranium or other super strong metals that can actually leave a mark on Namor. This is a factor with all the invaders, in that toro has all sorts of new tools at his disposal that can make them miserable, but Namor's the one he's (historically) most likely to come to blows with.

And one final point with Namor (godsdamn, you'd think this post was about him) as i mentioned he sees Toro as vulnerable, perhaps more so than even Jim. And this is important. This is good. Toro needs people looking out for and protecting him, even if he's a lot more powerful now.

Alright moving right along hey look it's Bucky. So, unsurprisingly, powers were never that big in bucky and toro's relationship. And power escalation hit them both, only in different ways, so the power imbalance really feels like it's in Bucky's favour if anyone's at this point. The only real effect I can see this having is if Toro gets sucked into some inhuman/Kree/space thingy that involves Bucky as the Man on the Wall (is that even a thing anymore? I feel like I haven't heard about it in a while but i haven't really kept up with Captain America comics lately) Anyways it could be interesting to see these too in that context. See them have a moral debate. How do they handle conflicting duty. How much chaos can they get into on an enemy starship? the possibilities are very fun

Steve. okay, i could write a whole post about Steve and Toro's relationship and how they're foils/reflections of each other. But that's not what we're here for. There are two major points that define Toro and Steve in this context (and tbh most of their on screen interaction give me more marvel pls) 1. Toro's in humanification and 2. Hydra Cap. Starting off with the safer option, Steve was the first person Toro interacted with as an inhuman. Steve was there when Toro first came out of the cocoon, he's the one who explained everything to Toro and probably the one who got to here unadulterated fears/emotions about it. and given toro's history of being used as a lab rat/weapon/both, i'm betting some things came out. maybe some things other people don't know, which puts Steve very suddenly in a position to become Toro's confident. Someone he can trust and lean on with the stuff he'll never mention around the others. Which makes point 2 hurt even harder.

Even though hydra steve and real steve are different people, even though the steve we have now has tried very hard to make up for his evil clone's actions (oversimplification but whatever). It was still steve's face, and steve's voice, and the damage was still done. Toro, who had confided his deepest darkest fears in Steve, got to hear someone who was for all intents and purposes Steve say publicly that inhumans were so dangerous that they absolutely had to be locked away, with no nuance, no consideration. OUCH.

Toro's also in a tricky spot here, bc thanks to our dear friends Mad Thinker and nebulus soviet scientists (probably dept X) Toro knows first hand what it's like to be forced by forces out of your control to be something or someone else. He knows what it's like to come back from that and face the consequences for actions that both were and weren't his. He feels for Steve, but that doesn't mean he can just let it go.

As far as Steve goes, i think it's just really, really awkward now. He's very clearly still trying to heal the damage as recently as Invaders (2019). He's painfully aware that Toro is an inhuman and was thus very personally wronged by Hydra Steve, even if he isn't aware how far down that broken trust goes. He's spent years mending bridges with friend foe and stranger a like. But toro never mentions it, it's just floating there between them.

Toro was one of the first "mutant" super heroes. I know there are plenty of theories out there about what extent he expired/was related to magneto, prof X, and all the mutant stuff going down in the 60s. Him actually being an inhuman is definitely going to shake things up there, and it complicates the whole Inhumans v. Mutants angle. Could be very interesting both on general and personal levels.

[itsallyscorner]

Teaming Up with Sam and Bucky ft Zemo

Pairing: FEM!Reader; Bucky Barnes x reader, Sam Wilson x reader; platonic(?), let’s throw in some Zemo x reader

Summary: What it would be like to team up with our favorite duo. Takes place during TFATWS.

Warnings: none, TFATWS SPOILERS. Lowkey a mess :D

A/n: Ever since TFATWS came out I’ve been reminded of how much I love Bucky and Sam. Also I have a new found love for Zemo. I’ve just been so obsessed with this series and I’ve been reading so many fics about it, so I decided to finally write my own :) Enjoy my loves❤️

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

✧───── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *. ☽.* :★. ─────✧

You’re basically working with a bunch of children.

The children mostly being Sam and Bucky, though Zemo does have his moments once he joins you three.

You’ve known dumb and dumber for a few years now, being part of the Avengers, you’ve worked with Sam on multiple missions. The friendship blooming somewhere in between.

You were also close friends with Steve; when he first came out the ice, you were assigned to help him adjust to the modern world by Fury. He would tell you a bunch of stories of him and Bucky running into trouble or Bucky always saving his ass whenever he was getting beaten up.

Eventually, you finally got to meet Bucky, though he wasn’t Bucky, he was the Winter Soldier. Your introduction to each other was quite memorable to say the least.

He choked you with that metal arm of his and for a split second you swore you might’ve found it attractive—till he threw your body against a car.

You sided with Cap during the accords and helped him protect Bucky. When that whole mess was over, Steve asked you to stay with Bucky in Wakanda to make sure he would be safe.

You were the first person to have some kind of bond with Bucky. Before and after he was freed from Hydra’s hold on him, you were always someone he knew he could trust.

When Steve told you what he was going to do while retuning the stones he told you to watch over them.

“Promise me you’ll keep an eye on Buck and Sam?” He asked you, sitting on the edge of your bed. He had snuck into your room late at night, knowing you were wide awake.

You squeezed his hand reassuringly, a lazy smile on your lips, “They don’t need me, I’m sure they’re capable of surviving on their own.” Steve breathes out a laugh and shakes his head, “You’d be surprised.”

“But seriously, (y/n), they need you. You know how they get when they’re together. You’re the only person in the world who knows how to deal with the both of them at the same time.” Steve reasons, his baby blues sparkling in the darkness of the guest room of Tony’s lake house.

“Make sure they’re not on the verge of killing each other or running into too much trouble?” You tiredly nod, sleep slowly consuming your body. “I promise, they’re gonna be alright, Steve.”

Sometimes you found yourself looking up at the sky, cursing at it—or Steve—for leaving you with two of the most childish and stubborn men you’ve ever known in your life.

You were like the mother of the group; breaking up fights, making sure they skipped no meals, patching up their boo-boos, etc.

“Will you stop staring at me?” Sam snapped, tossing his goggles onto the seat beside him to glare at Bucky.

“I’m not staring at you.” Bucky remarked from across Sam. His flesh and metal arm crossing with each other as he stared at Sam challengingly.

“Yes, you are. Your eyes are connecting with mine. You’re literally staring at me right now!” Sam pointed out, to which Bucky rolled his eyes at.

“Because I’m talking to you, genius. I wasn’t staring at you.” Bucky quipped.

“Yes you were!”

“No I wasn’t!”

This continued till they were sick of bickering with each other, finally yelling out your name for help.

The arguments were straight up petty. Bucky wouldn’t admit it, but he was the pettiest.

Exhibit 1: “LoOKiNG StrONg jOHn!”

Like seriously? Bucky’s the pettiest bitch, nobody can tell me otherwise.

You and Sam would definitely find it amusing how Bucky doesn’t trust Redwing.

Obviously, you all despise John Walker. Just the thought of him left a bad taste in your mouth.

He was like a fly that you all couldn’t get rid of. But because you were all painfully patient people—mostly you and Sam—you had to deal with his bullshit despite the way he annoyed you all.

Totally loosing your shit when Bucky helps Zemo break himself out of prison.

“Please tell me you didn’t do what I think you did.” You groaned, fingers pinching the bridge of your nose together.

Bucky looks at you with feign innocence; his mouth agape and puppy eyes. “I—didn’t do...anything(?).”

“You helped Zemo break out of prison didn’t you?” You crossed your arms at him, hip jutting out. As if on cue, Sokovian sugar daddy walks into the abandoned garage you were all in.

Before you can explode on him, Bucky tried to calm you down, “Wait, I technically didn’t do anything though! It was his plan!”

Zemo definitely lives up to being the ✨Sokovian Sugar Daddy✨ of your dysfunctional group.

I think you’d all be surprised at how rich he was. The amount of connections he had wasn’t that big of a shocker.

No like seriously, homie was pulling all sorts of shit out his ass; cars, private planes, houses in different countries, etc.

You all had a love hate relationship with Zemo. On days when he was actually helpful, you all got a long. On the days when things got horribly messy, Zemo couldn’t even let a word out since Sam would tell him to “shut up”.

Though that still doesn’t excuse the fact that he got the Avengers to spilt up and go against each other.

When you guys are all hiding out in one of Zemo’s apartments or homes, you would probably cook breakfast, lunch, or dinner for everyone.

They actually loved it when you cooked because it made the atmosphere feel a bit homey and calm compared to the current situation you were all in.

You were the person they can all go to. You were easy to talk to, making it easier for them to open up to you.

You always checked in on them mentally and physically. For example, you knew Sam felt guilty about giving up the shield, but Bucky never made him forget about his choice. You were there to reassure him that he thought he was doing the right thing and didn’t know the hidden agenda of the government.

You were like their on the go therapist, babysitter, and partner.

Sometimes Bucky and Sam would even argue for your attention.

“Can you stop hogging (y/n) please? Her ears might fall off from hearing you yap all day.” Bucky said as he gently took your arm and dragged you away from Sam.

“You literally spent the whole day with her yesterday, you’re the one who needs to stop hogging (y/n).” Sam argued, grabbing onto your other arm.

“I didn’t get to spend time with (y/n).” Zemo mentioned from his seat in the kitchen, a glass of whisky in his hand. Bucky simply turned to him and pointed, “NO!”

Honestly what’s a friendship with Bucky and Sam without some harmless flirting. They weren’t gonna lie, you were gorgeous, the most attractive one out of the group.

When you guys had to go undercover at Madripoor, both times with Zemo and Sharon, you had to wear dresses that were a bit revealing. Maybe your chest was a bit shown, but the dress definitely showed off your legs.

“So what do you guys think?” You stopped at the bottom of the stairs of Sharon’s apartment, doing a little spin to show off your outfit.

Both Bucky and Sam’s jaws drop, Zemo probably nodding in approval in the corner.

You can’t forget about the nicknames: maybe doll, sweetheart, or darlin’ from Bucky and the typical Louisiana Cher from Sammy.

While fighting against the Flag Smashers or anyone in general, you guys always had each other’s back.

You could directly be fighting someone, but you’ll naturally have an eye on Sam and Bucky to make sure nobody was sneaking up on them.

It’s a given that you all patch each other up after some fight.

You were all very protective of each other. If there’s one thing Sam and Bucky can agree on, it’s their instinct to protect you.

Like how you kept an eye on them, they also kept their eyes on you. Even though they knew you could hold your own.

“Could you walk?” Sam asked you as you laid on the concrete floor. You were double teamed by a couple of Flag Smashers. Two super soldiers against a normal person, you totally got your ass handed to you.

You pushed yourself up to rest on your elbows, “I’m fine, just got dropped kicked twice, but I’ll be fine.”

Sam smiled at you, “That’s my girl.”

Though the two can be a handful and argue almost every minute, you loved the both of them tremendously. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

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[musette22]

Hi Minnie! Hope you can help me settle an argument my brother and I are having about EG!Steve. I'd love to hear your thoughts about this with shipping goggles off, looking at it purely in terms of characterization, narrative, and good writing. Better hang on though, it's going to be a long ask! (sorry in advance for spamming you!) 1/7

So my brother and I were watching FatWS and once again got into a debate about whether Steve's last actions were a disservice or in line with his characterization and narrative, given that the Russos confirmed (and therefore it's Word of God/canon, even if it did sound reactionary to the immediate backlash after EG) that Steve created an alternate reality when he went back, and didn't just live in hiding in the past of the OG timeline. 2/7

Because of this, my bro argued that: 1) the total character assassination that is the idea of Steve just sitting back and letting all the shit happen happen is no longer a problem - for all we know, the alternate reality oldman!Steve came from might have become utopic already due to his presence and foresight. He played coy when talking to Sam so we don't know for certain he didn't save Bucky, get rid of Hydra, and enact social reform when he had the chance. 3/7

Likewise, 2) the accusation that Steve would rob Peggy of her husband and children is a non-issue as Steve went back to a time before Peggy and Daniel got together - I argued here that it was still wrong for him to do given that he KNEW for a fact that Peggy lived a happy life, whereas it was a gamble if he could give her the same. My bro shot back when you truly loved someone, you want them to be happy and to have what's best for them. 4/7

So if Steve chose to go back to Peggy, he had to have believed that he could give her the best life. That Steve based that decision purely on his own assessment is pretty in character (e.g. pushing to become a soldier because he thought that was how he could do his part, even though at the time, he'd have just been a danger to himself and other soldiers; not signing the Accords because he believed in his team's judgment in crises above gov't oversight that might be influenced by politics). 5/7

And lastly 3) he might have settled into the past and started to move on, but what was wrong with him choosing to be selfish and going to the past when given a chance? Why was it wrong for him to go back to a time he knew, where he was beloved by both Peggy and the public, and when he could also save Bucky early? In terms of character growth, wouldn't it be fair for him to finally learn he could be a bit selfish and choose happiness, after a lifetime of nearly suicidal selflessness? 6/7

Our debate was based on confirmed canon with shipping put aside. So I put forth the sin of leaving a traumatized Bucky, Sam, and world behind, that Steve's actions were surely the result of a man broken by grief again and again, and that choosing the past was him running away - which, I argued, was a horrible way to end his character arc. But my brother asked me why I thought so, because wasn't this the so-called 'soft epilogue' that Steve deserved, one that was most in line with canon? 7/7

***************

Hey love! Very interesting argument you and your brother are having here… I’m sure he’s a great guy but I have to say that I vehemently disagree with him (as you probably already guessed lol). Soooo many people have done an excellent job at explaining why, shipping aside, Steve’s ending in EG was absolute bollocks, and I’m certain I could never argue this case as well as all of them have. Nevertheless, I’ll do my best to explain why, in my opinion, your brother is wrong :p I’m going to put my reply under the keep reading tag, because it is long.

1.      The Russos and Markus & McFeely (the writers) never managed to agree on whether Steve really did go back to an alternate timeline, and if so, how that would have worked, exactly. When they were asked, after EG had been released, about whether Steve would have just sat back and let everything he knew was happening/going to happen in the decades to come, both to Bucky and to the world at large, they came up with this ‘alternate timeline’ solution, but they kept contradicting each other on the logistics and technicalities of it (like how would old man Steve suddenly be able to jump timelines to come back to give Sam the shield in EG? And how did EG Steve attend Peggy’s funeral, like they also suggested, which would technically have been in a different timeline?). Which makes it pretty clear that this wasn’t something they’d considered beforehand or even all agree on afterwards, and therefore it can’t technically allowed to play a role in judging the rightness of Steve’s ending in EG if we’re looking at it from a ‘the creator’s word is law’ perspective. Moreover, there is nothing to indicate in EG itself that Steve knew he’d be able to create alternate timelines, so that would’ve been a crazy gamble on his part. Also, him ‘playing coy’ in that final scene with Sam really isn’t a convincing indication that he was actually, canonically, talking about anything besides marrying Peggy.

2.      Which bring us to point two: Peggy had literally told Steve she’d lived a happy life with her family, and told him in no uncertain terms to move on. If Steve really loved her, he would have accepted her wishes and allowed her the dignity of her choice (something Peggy herself, in CA:TFA, had told Steve was important to do when you care about someone) to move on from him once she believed him dead. Steve deciding that he would be better for Peggy because he believed was a better man than the person she ended up marrying originally would be the most un-like Steve thing to do, ever. Steve has never once shown that he thinks of himself as the hero or better than other people – he simply wants to do the best he can to help make the world a better place. He would never say “Peggy deserves the best and I believe I am the best, therefore she will have me, regardless of what she thinks or wants.” Steve drinks respect women juice, that’s clear from all of his movies, and deciding the course of her entire life for her, taking away her agency, whether in his own timeline or another, would be utterly disrespectful to Peggy.

3.      As for the next point: of course there’s nothing wrong with Steve being selfish for once – Steve is human, and all humans are selfish sometimes, and that’s okay. But, as Chris Evans already explained multiple times prior to Endgame, Steve had already made selfish decisions in the past, namely when it came to getting Bucky back and keeping him safe. Shipping aside, Bucky was presented in all the Cap movies as Steve’s very best friend, and was even called his ‘soulmate’ (platonically or otherwise) by M&M (the writers). So when, in Civil War, Steve was presented with a choice between duty/what was expected of him by the government versus saving Bucky/keeping Bucky safe, Steve was selfish and chose Bucky. That, canonically, made sense. Peggy being presented as the ultimate love of Steve’s life, who he loved and valued more than anyone or anything else in the world (which is what happened in EG), canonically does not make sense. 

In CA:TWS, Peggy told Steve to move on. When Peggy died, Steve buried her and mourned her, and then not long after, he canonically kissed Peggy’s niece. Then, in Infinity War, Steve saw Bucky turn to dust before his very eyes in the “Blip” (a conscious decision on the writers’/directors’ part to show how Steve once again lost what was most important to him while helplessly standing by) – and the next thing we know, Steve is leading a support group for other people who lost loved ones in the Blip, and starts talking about losing… Peggy? Huh. Also, Steve going back to a time which your brother calls “a time when he was beloved the public” doesn’t add up, either: technically, Steve went back to a time where people loved an idea of him, but also believed him to be dead. So either he would have had to have found a way to convincingly stage his own resurrection (meanwhile possibly leaving the other version to vegetate in the ice..? depending on how this timeline malarkey was supposed to work), or he would have lived his whole life hidden behind some fake persona – which does not sound like Steve at all, does it?

4.      Finally, let’s talk about Bucky some more, because I think we need to to be able to assess the situation properly. I understand that your brother may believe that shippers are often delusional and only see what they want to see etc, but there is ample evidence, canonically, of Bucky being the most important person in Steve’s life – the person he would give up the shield for, the person he would give up his other friendships for, the person he would give up his life for. Peggy may have been a recurring character in character in the three Cap movies, but she was never presented as the principal motivator of his actions, or as the love of Steve’s life. You know who was? Bucky. Sure, that love wasn’t canonically romantic in nature, but there can’t be any doubt that Bucky meant more than anything to Steve. Therefore, Steve choosing to have a ‘soft epilogue’ that entails him spending the rest of his life without Bucky – and, more importantly, Bucky to spend the rest of his life without Steve – contradicts everything we’ve learned about their relationship (platonic or otherwise) in the rest of the movies, does it not? 

Also, the Russos have said something to the effect that Bucky and Steve were now both mentally ‘well enough’ to not ‘need’ each other anymore (because as we all know, that’s exactly how friendships work…), but it’s pretty clear from EG that Steve was still traumatized by everything he’d been through, and going back to the 50s would have meant he would never be able to get proper help with that and in fact could only talk about any of it with Peggy and Peggy alone. Moreover, M&M have literally said in interviews that Bucky wasn’t all that well yet, mentally, and TFAWTS also shows convincingly that Bucky was not actually in a good place when Steve left him. So that would have meant that Steve either did not see this (unlikely, given how close they were) or did not care (unlikely, given how close they were). 

It would have meant that for the first time in all these movies, Steve decided “to hell with Bucky’s needs, I’m gonna just be selfish because I’ve earned it and claim my trophy wife because actually I am the best man for her, despite the fact that she’s already lived a happy life that I will be negating against her wishes, but that’s fine because maybe I’ll be able to create a different timeline, and maybe I’ll be able to save Bucky from all his trauma anyway, but then again maybe not, but that brings me back to my first point of to hell with Bucky’s needs” - which does not make a lot of sense to me, personally. Not to mention that, in exchange for his ‘soft epilogue’, Steve would also leave the world to sort out the post-Blip mess without him, and leave all the other friends he still had left and clearly cared about a lot to boot. I would not call that character growth, I would call that character disintegration. If your brother insists on taking the creator’s word as gospel and that we have to accept that Steve really did do what he did at the end of Endgame, and that wasn’t just a case of bad, lazy writing fuelled by greed, then to make a decision like this, Steve would have been either an asshole in disguise all along, or mentally extremely unstable.

There you have it, my two cents! I hope this helps a little in settling the argument with your brother, anon! Lots of love ❤️

[staticscreenwriting]

LOVE LIKE THE MOVIES // BUCKY BARNES // 4

Four - Casablanca

Masterlist

Summary: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for TFATWS)

“ You dressed up! “

God damnit. He should’ve known. He really should’ve. Sam stands by his side, shit-eating grin splitting his face in two. He should’ve just worn a plain sweater and no one would’ve commented on it.

But then would she look at him with that joyful sparkle in her eyes and that gorgeous smile? Maybe the little dressing up that he did do, and all the teasing comments from Sam, are worth it if means she’ll look at him like that.

“I didn’t dress up.” Doesn’t mean he has to admit it. No now, not ever.

“ Uh, your jeans are cuffed. You’ve never done that!” (Y/N) points out to which Sam chimes in with a loud “that’s what I said!” words dripping with amusement.

“ It’s just my jeans, it’s not a big deal.”

“ And you quiffed your hair!”

Bucky glances towards Sam who stands beside him with the biggest smile any person has ever displayed in all the times humans have walked this earth. His joy at Bucky’s obvious discomfort knowing no boundaries and, if it weren’t at his own expense, Bucky would even find Sam’s amusement quite contagious.

“ You totally did! He totally did! I didn’t even notice. Hi,” he says and shakes (Y/N)’s hand “ I’m Sam.”

“ So nice to meet you, Sam. And you dressed up too! As a sexy Ghostbuster!”

Bucky can basically feel Sam’s ego inflate at those words and he knows, for a fact, he’ll never hear the end of it.

“ That’s right! I am a sexy Ghostbuster. Not a regular one. That’s exactly what I was going for, thank you. Man, I love her already.” Sam says, directed at both, (Y/N) but mostly at Bucky.

“ You look lovely too, by the way,” Sam points out and for the first time since they arrived, Bucky gives himself a moment to take her in entirely. Not just the little things, the twinkle in her eyes, the warm radiance of her smile. Her. All of her.

The blue and white checkered pinafore dress she’s wearing reaches down to her knees, her legs are covered by white knee-high socks and at her feet, a pair of ruby red heels sparkle as the light reflects against them.

She looks beautiful but what really makes Bucky’s heart skip just a tiny fraction of a beat is the fact that he knows who she’s supposed to be and, whether she did it purposefully or not doesn’t matter, he feels included for the first time in so long.

“ You’re Dorothy.” his lips produce words that his brain didn’t sign off on. They just slip out. They hold so much weight that even if he’d acted fast enough, he doesn’t think he would’ve been able to hold them back. They’re so seemingly insignificant but they hold a meaning that Bucky isn’t sure anyone will ever fully comprehend. Steve would’ve but Steve is — not here.

He hopes (Y/N) understands even a small fraction of what it means to him. And when she smiles, he thinks she might.

“ I am. Do you like it?”

“ You look beautiful. “ And she does. She really does.

Sam is grinning away like he’s just heard the best news and Bucky isn’t sure if he prefers this to his outright laughter at his discomfort or not. This smirk seems like some inside joke Bucky doesn’t get. Like Sam knows something he doesn’t.

“ Can I get you guys something to drink? Beers? “

“ That would be great “ Sam replies.

“ Grumpy? “

“ Sure.”

He can’t get drunk, that’s one of the little things the Serum changed about him. It’s not like he’s here to get drunk anyway but to feel the enthusiastic buzz that alcohol can wash through your system, would be nice. He hardly remembers what that felt like.

He’s gonna drink some beer either way though. It gives him the feeling of fitting in, of belonging with the crowd. Even if he knows that’s one big lie. Sometimes you have to lie to yourself to keep your heart from breaking.

Kim isn’t a friend. Not really. She’s a friend of a friend who somehow always tags along whenever (Y/N)’s friend group gets together. She’s never actually invited but she’s always there anyway. Tonight is no exception.

She’s dressed in some kind of last-minute DIY deer costume, one of those that have been popular a few years back on Youtube, and the way she smirks at (Y/N) as she enters the kitchen already makes the metaphorical alarm bells go off in (Y/N)’s head.

“ So, I didn’t know you know celebrities. “

“ What are you talking about, Kim? “

“ Oh, you know! “ Kim announces and slides up next to (Y/N), casually leaning against the kitchen counter. “ Do you think he can do some cool tricks with his metal arm? “

“ Who are you talking about? “

Obviously (Y/N) is well aware of who Kim is talking about. There’s only so many people with metal arms and only one of them finds himself at this very party. Still, she doesn’t give Kim the satisfaction of reacting to her ridiculous comment. Maybe, (Y/N) naively hopes, repeating her question will make Kim realize just how rude and offensive her words really are.

“The winter soldier! Who else. That’s him, isn’t it? “

“ No.”

“ You sure? I’m pretty certain that’s him.”

“ His name is Bucky!” (Y/N) clarifies, fixing Kim with a stare that conveys just how serious this is to her. “ And he is not some kind of circus freak or entertainer or something. He is my friend. “

Kim shrugs her shoulders so casually that it sends shivers of red hot rage through (Y/N)’s body. The audacity of this woman. “ Okay sure but he is the Winter Soldier, right? I don’t know why you’re acting so sensitive right now. Chill, girl.”

“ Fuck you, Kim. You are so disrespectful towards my friend. He’s so sweet and genuine and wonderful and he deserves to be seen for all that he is. He is not here for you to stare at like a caged animal and he sure as hell ain’t here to be reminded of his painful past. If you can’t treat him like a normal person, please leave. “

There’s a look on Kim’s face that (Y/N) hasn’t seen on her before. One of utter disbelief. One that lets her know that this was the last thing Kim was expecting. And for a little moment, a huge wave of triumphant enthusiasm crashes over her.

“ Whatever.” is all Kim replies once the shock has settled. With a pout on her lips, she shuffles out of the kitchen and back into the crowd. (Y/N) can’t tell for sure if she’s leaving but there’s no doubt in her mind that at least she won’t be harassing Bucky anytime soon.

A bitter taste settles on (Y/N) tongue, as she thinks about Kim’s words again. About the sick and twisted thoughts that reduce Bucky to little more than a human animatronic. It’s disgusting and so so sad and she just hopes Bucky hasn’t heard her say those things.

As she steps out of the kitchen and rounds the corner though, her hopes are squashed. There’s the usual pain on his face, the one that’s perpetually etched into his features as Bucky leans against the wall. But mixed in between, there’s something else. A confusing mess of emotions she can’t quite place. She knows though. He’s heard every last word.

“ Robin came over, started talking to Sam about some band I don’t know. Thought I’d come see if you need some help. “

“ Bucky, I — “

“ It’s fine.” He interrupts her. (Y/N) doesn’t think it’s really fine. Sometimes people just get so used to saying they feel fine, they actually start believing it. Only fine is not something you want to feel forever, is it? Fine shouldn’t be a permanent state. Fine should be temporary. A path to good. To great. To happy.

“ You sure? “

“ Yeah. I uh — I appreciate what you said.”

“ Oh sure. And I meant it. You’re my friend and you deserve all the good things life has to offer.”

He doesn’t know if he agrees with that sentiment. No, in fact, he’s sure that he doesn’t agree. While he is free of the pain that bound him to Hydra, he will never be entirely free of the guilt his past has put on him. One, he thinks, makes him undeserving of so many things. Like friends. Like happiness. Like love.

And yet it’s nice to know that other people see in him what he may never see in himself.

“ Now let’s go rescue Sam before Robin ropes him into some kind of wedding preparations.”

She says, hands Bucky a bottle, and then grabs his free hand to pull him towards the other side of the room where Robin, dressed as Jessica Rabbit, gestures around wildly as she talks to Sam.

At first, (Y/N) doesn’t even realize it but then she notices that the hand holding hers feels different. It’s not as soft to the touch as a hand usually is. The glove is warm and smooth under her skin but she wishes she could touch the metal. It’s not some kind of weird, misplaced fetishization or some sensationalism. It’s the fact that the arm is a part of Bucky as much as his eyes or his smile or his perpetual grumpiness. And she wants to know every part of him for they make him who he is, and who he is is wonderful.

3 hours.

It’s been 3 hours since they arrived at the party. 3 hours of music he doesn’t get from artists he doesn’t know. 3 hours of staying painfully sober while everyone around him gets exponentially more drunk. 3 hours of pretending not to notice the looks he’s getting.

3 hours and then it got too much. He’s well aware that this isn’t his time. By all means, he shouldn’t be here. Not like this. Stuck in a body that doesn’t match his actual age. Forever reminded of the fact that he’s not meant to be here. Usually, he tries to ignore that. Tries to learn about new things, tries to understand.

This party puts a mirror right in front of his face though. Makes it painfully obvious that this is not where he belongs.

What a party pooper he is. He’d hate himself. If his old self could see him now, standing alone on a balcony because he didn’t like the music inside. His old self would think of him as a coward. His old self is probably right.

“ Grumpy, what are you doing out here, all by yourself?”

For a second the music from the inside spills through the doors and into the serene night, only to be cut off a second later when (Y/N) steps onto the balcony and closes the door behind her.

“ Are you not having fun? “

“ It’s not that. It’s just —”

Just what? Bucky has no idea how to put it into words. It’s moments like this one where having Steve around would be so helpful. He’d understand and he’d know what to say. Steve always knew what to say. Steve just didn’t know when to shut up.

“ You don’t have to explain yourself to me. Ever.” (Y/N) says and bumps him with her shoulder as she leans against him looking out at the New York skyline.

“ I appreciate it.”

“ I was hoping you’d like my costume,” (Y/N) confesses after a moment. “ I feel like I tell you so much about all these movies you missed out on and I don’t know, maybe it’s silly, but I wanted you to feel in the know for once. Does that make sense? “

Bucky bites his lip for everything he wants to say is not something you tell someone you’ve only just befriended a few weeks ago. Never has he felt the need to spill his heart, with all his sorrows and fears and dreams, to anyone. Not until tonight. But it’s too much to burden her with. He can hardly carry the weight himself. To put it on her would be an awfully selfish thing to do.

So he just nods his head and smiles and he says “thank you” like it doesn’t mean anything when really it means the world.

“ Okay well, since I can’t bring you to the party — “ (Y/N) says and fumbles her phone from her dress pocket “ — I’ll just have to bring the party to you.”

For a moment she just types away on the screen before a familiar tune sounds from the speakers of her phone. A familiar tune, to Bucky. One he remembers dancing to when he was a whole other man.

Glenn Miller’s Moonlight Cocktail fills the air and Bucky’s lips unwillingly lift into a smile.

“ If I remember correctly,” (Y/N) says and reaches out her hand to him “ you owe me a dance.”

Bucky laughs and shakes his head, but grabs a hold of her hand anyway “That’s not how it works. You can’t just say someone owes you something simply because you want it.”

She’s so close now. He can see the lights reflecting in her eyes, can feel her chest lift with every breath she takes.

Here’s the thing about loneliness. After a while, you get used to it. It becomes a part of your life, of yourself, like breathing and sleep. You don’t even realize that you’re missing something. Until one day you’re chest to chest with a beautiful girl who thinks you’re wonderful and worthy of her friendship. And it’s then that you realize how lonely you were and how much it hurts and how much you’ve been missing the touch of another.

“ I’ve always wanted to dance through the night. Ever since I’ve first seen Moulin Rouge in the cinema.” (Y/N) says and they start to slowly but surely sway to the music. It’s tentative steps at first, shy and unsure. Barely there moves but there after all.

Sometimes it’s enough for things to be small. The big moments, the important ones don’t need to be big at all. Some of the most important ones don’t demand a lot of space and yet they take up all the space in your heart.

“ Do you remember your first time seeing a movie at the cinema? “ she asks, looking up at him with her starlight eyes.

It’s not a memory he can recall. It’s one of those that have been lost in the shuffle. Like a sweater you love that’s been lost in the laundry or a picture frame gone missing during a move.

“ I don’t. I do remember my last trip to the cinema though.”

“Yeah? What was it?”

This memory is so vivid, it could’ve happened yesterday. He remembers the old dusty velvet seats. He remembers the propaganda spot shown before the movie, the one that put a feeling in his gut as if he’d just swallowed a sack of bricks, now knowing what was to happen but expecting it. He remembers Ruth Dillinger and her gorgeous blond hair and the way it smelled like soap and flowers. And he remembers the movie.

“ Casablanca. Saw it on a date with a girl.”

“ Aw, you took her on a movie date? Lucky girl. “

“ I don’t know if I’d go that far. I wasn’t half as respectable of a guy back then. Was more interested in sneaking a kiss in the dark than taking her to see a good movie. “

“ Did you do the whole, yawning-arm-around-the-shoulder thing?”

“ Obviously.”

“ Oh, you were just a regular casanova, Mr. Barnes? “

“ For sure. “

New York feels alive with the power of possibility. Of a night being more than a night. Of small moments being big and big moments being so tiny and intimate and small. New York feels alive with emotions. Ones Bucky doesn't understand and couldn’t understand. But either way, he feels happier in that tiny insignificant moment than he had in a long time.

“ I’ve never seen Casablanca.”

At that confession, Bucky pushes away from her a little so he can properly look at her, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“ What? It’s a classic. I have good reasons for not having seen most of your movie recommendations, what’s your excuse? “

She smiles bashfully and shrugs her shoulders “ I really don’t know. I just never got around to it. I feel like it’s such an important movie, it asks for a special occasion. Like seeing it at some fancy cinema or in concert or something. You know? “

Bucky only chuckles before pulling her close for another soft sway around the balcony.

Only the serenity doesn’t last very long as the aggressive drumming of some EDM song penetrates the quiet and Sam steps out onto the balcony.

“ Hi guys, uh — am I interrupting something ?”

“ No, no. That’s alright” (Y/N) exclaims, sounding a little flustered as she pulls away from Bucky and presses pause on her phone, plunging them all in silence.

“ I’m gonna get going in a moment. Need to catch an early flight tomorrow morning. “

“ Aw, so soon? Well okay but it was so nice to meet you Sam. You’re welcome at any future party or just drop in at the diner whenever you’re around.” (Y/N) says and pulls him into a hug.

“ I will don’t worry. Told you, I like you already.”

They share another quick hug before (Y/N) excuses herself to get Sam’s jacket from another room, leaving Sam and Bucky alone on the balcony.

“ Do not say a word!” Bucky orders as he notices yet another grin forming on Sam’s face.

“ I didn’t say anything.”

“ But you want to. I can see it.”

“ What would I possibly say, Buck? That you’ve got it bad? You know that yourself. “

“ It’s not like that.”

“ Okay, if you say so. “ Sam complies and lets another silence fall over them.

That’s until he speaks up yet again “ You dance. Man, I can’t believe it. Hey, can you waltz?”

“ Shut up! “

The party is slowly but surely winding down. A lot of people have left by now.

Some are asleep on the couch. On the floor. Against the wall.

A few are still lingering around, talking in low voices. Slurred words, tired eyes, light hearts.

Bucky tries not to step on anyone as he maneuvers his way around the apartment, trying to find the room where (Y/N) put all the jackets. It’s time for him to go, no matter how much he wants to hold onto the moment. He’s tired and the party is as good as over. And anyway, he hasn’t seen (Y/N) in a while.

“ Psst, Grumpy“

(Y/N) peeks out from behind a door, beckoning him closer. As he steps into the room he’s embraced by a warm amber glow coming from a string of fairy lights that frame one wall.

On her bed, (Y/N) sits and leans against the headboard, balancing a laptop on her legs. The wall behind her is covered in photographs. Some of her, some of people he doesn’t know. There are pictures taken at concerts, theme parks, the beach. She’s smiling in most of them. Happy. Memories of a lifetime forever caught on film.

This, Bucky realizes then, is something he wants. Not right now but eventually. To make memories. Ones that last. Ones that don’t get taken away from him. And someone to make those memories with him.

“ Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you,” Bucky asks as she pats the blanket and he sits down on the bed next to her.

“ I’ve been looking for this movie and I finally found a decent copy we can watch.”

“ Now? “

“ Yes now. It’s supposed to be a really good one. I think you’ll like it. “

Bucky’s tired. He honestly just wants to go home and try to find at least a few hours of sleep. But she does it again, that thing where she smiles and his heart does the weird fluttery thing. And he can’t say no to that. Why would he ever want to say no to that?

So he scoots backward to rest against the headboard as well and his eyes take in the swirly white font on the screen spelling out Casablanca over the black and white image of a map of Africa.

His smile won’t be suppressed anymore. It takes over his face like it belongs right there.

"Thought you were waiting for a special occasion?"

“ I was and I found it. Now, what’s the romantic lesson I can learn from this one? “ (Y/N) asks as her head comes to rest on his right shoulder.

Bucky considers it for a moment, tries to recall exactly what happens. Some details are fuzzy, some lost altogether. But he remembers the core of it all. The love shared between two people.

“ It is about sacrificing the thing you want most in life to make sure the people you love are safe and happy. It’s about putting the one you love above yourself and breaking your own heart in order to keep theirs from breaking. Love is selfless, never selfish. And love is worth it. I think that’s what it’s about. “

“ That’s a lovely sentiment. But so sad too.”

Bucky only nods in agreement and as the title credits roll he wonders if he’ll ever get the chance to really figure out love. To fall for someone and love them so much he’d give up everything to see them happy. Even himself.

Though they call it the city that never sleeps, New York seems to grow tired. It grows calm and quiet and maybe for a second it falls into a slumber in the same way that both Bucky and (Y/N) fall asleep, cuddled up on her bed, while Ingrid Bergman flies away on a plane and Humphry Bogard walks into the black of night.

Bucky hasn’t slept in a bed in months in fear of nightmares and terrors lurking in the dark corner of his mind.

That night he doesn’t have nightmares. In fact that night he dreams. Of slow dancing on a balcony with only the stars bearing witness to the moment. He dreams of red slippers and fairy lights and black and white movies.

That night he doesn’t have nightmares. Only sweet dreams.

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[thefallenbibliophilequote]

The Last Word- part 1

Bucky x reader

Summary: you and Bucky never get along, it’s not that you hate him- it’s just that he always finds ways to get on your nerves. You’ve had enough of it. But, funny thing about feelings, they often tend to intertwine with others in ways that you can’t really expect.

Word count: 4,318

Warnings: language, Bucky being an adorable idiot

A/N: this started as an entry to a challenge, but it got out of hand so I posted an excerpt from the full fic for the challenge. And wrote this mini-series just for me, because a 10k entry to a challenge would be too much and I really felt like this fic should have separate chapters. So I managed to make it so it feels right for me.

A/N 2: I really hope you like it, if you wish to be tagged in this series let me know!

read preview here

Part 1

You wouldn’t say you were stubborn, you weren’t- you just refused to back down when someone posed a challenge, or tried to be a jackass. That jackass position is currently taken by none other than the Winter Soldier, he seems to like that job, fits him perfectly. You two could never get along, it was his fault.

It’s not that you hate him- it’s just that he always gets on your nerves. He always tries to one up you and he always does whatever it takes to annoy you just because he’s bored. Over 100 years old and he still acts like a total child.

It wasn’t like that the first time you met him though.

The first time you met Bucky, you were a new recruit. It all started when you were testing your powers and you accidentally teleported yourself into a SHIELD facility that happened to be on the TV at the time. In your defense- you got better at that! After they made sure you weren’t a hydra agent, they wanted to recruit you.

Apparently you caught Captain America’s attention, because soon enough he wanted you to join them and practice with Wanda.

You first met Wanda, a total sweetheart even with the immense power she has. Steve and you agreed to test your powers first, in order to see what you will need to work on.

You, Steve and Wanda were in the training room, it was bigger than your apartment. You began with the basic- maneuvering while fighting.

“Can we take a break please?” you panted, your breath heavy after your latest test with the lovely supersoldier.

“Not yet, I still need to check your response to Wanda’s abilities. I want to know the limitations of your abilities.” He said to you, barely even breaking a sweat. “Why didn’t they train you in S.H.I.E.L.D?”

“They said that I should first become a fighter and then they’ll let me use my powers.” You replied bitterly, you shouldn’t fight without an ability you have, it’s not unfair to use it.

“Sounds about right,” Wanda added “that’s why we have to run all these tests. After this we can go get lunch.”

Wanda sent a surge of power towards you, you dodged it and aimed to teleport yourself to the other side of the gym.

A second later instead of landing on the gym floor, you stumbled onto something firm, but it didn’t feel right. You opened your eyes to see blue eyes studying you.

Bucky was in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, Natasha and Sam sat on the isle stools. He was walking to sit with them when suddenly a body fell onto him seemingly out of nowhere, knocking him to the ground. He immediately studied the girl on top of him, seemingly harmless but still a stranger in the avengers tower. When she opened her Y/E/C eyes, it only lasted a second before he switched your positions and he knocked you to the ground.

You blocked his attack and pushed him to the side, as he was about to capture you again, you teleported into a standing position, a couple feet away from him. Taking out the knife from your thigh and threw it at him, pinning him to the cupboard behind him as he got up. That’s when you took the scene around you.

Three avengers in front of you and you just threw a dagger at the Winter Soldier. Shit. Before they could advance towards you, Wanda and Steve came rushing into the room.

“Y/N, where did you go? How did you get here?” Wanda stood beside you.

“I don’t know, I’m sorry I just-”

“Steve do you know her?” Bucky pulled the dagger out, looking at his friend, before returning the gaze to you, an apologetic shy smile on your face.

“Meet Y/N she is our newest member,” he looked at you then, you felt like a kid getting scolded. “She was supposed to stay with us in the gym.”

“I really don’t know what happened,” you said to Steve and Wanda, before looking guiltily at the avenger in front of you. “Sorry for throwing a dagger at you.”

“Sorry for attacking you,” a small smirk grew on his face “but you had it coming when you knocked me to the ground.”

“Well it’s not my fault that you stood in my spot.” You countered.

“Nice shot by the way.” His blue eyes were way too piercing for your liking, he handed you back the dagger. You threw it to pin his shirt to the cupboard, no actual harm to his hand.

You nodded before Wanda caught your attention.

“What are you doing?” she reached her hands to your head. You stepped backwards a little.

“I want to look into your mind, you’ve never seen this part of the tower before- have you?”

“No, I haven’t.” you realized as you looked around.

“Mind filling us in?” Sam looked at you, this must have looked bad. Not the best first impression you had wanted to have on the Avengers.

“I teleport, I can’t quite control it yet, I thought I understood it but I guess not.” You fiddled with your hair, putting it behind your ears.

“Which is exactly why we need to get back to training, clearly we need to figure out how you managed to get here” Steve started to lead you back as you sighed.

“Come on Steve, she stood her ground against me, give her a little break.” Bucky spoke up. “She clearly knows her way with daggers too. Do you want to have lunch with us Doll?”

“Oh yes please, I’m starving.” You agreed and smiled at Bucky.

“That could be it.” Wanda chimed in.

“That could be what?” Steve replied, giving in and walking with you to the table.

“If you thought about food, your mind wanted to come here, maybe that’s how your powers work.” She explained, but you shook your head, sitting down as Bucky sat next to you. You decided to ignore that.

“But look at that first time I teleported into a S.H.I.E.L.D facility, I didn’t want to go there, I just wound up there because I saw it. I’ve never teleported into a place I didn’t see before.”

“You could try it out, I bet you never considered you could do it before.” Bucky took a sip from Sam’s forgotten coffee and got a stern look in return. “What? She spilled my coffee!”

You grimaced, remembering the mess on the floor, before you could apologize, Wanda put her hand on your arm and you saw her eyes go red for a second and when you looked around, the floor was spotless.

“Thank you.” You whispered to her.

As the rest of the group settled into an easy conversation, Wanda made you lunch which you savored, who knew the Scarlet Witch could cook?

Afterwards, you Steve and Wanda decided to go back to the gym, before you left Bucky called you.

“You still owe me a coffee, doll.” He smiled, eyes gleaming with what seemed like mischief.

For some reason, the nickname made your brain stop working completely, so all you could do was nod to him with a small smile before you turned and hurried a bit in your step towards the gym. Hopefully the heat in your cheeks will go unnoticed.

“Jesus Barnes, keep it in your pants.” The black widow commented after you left the room, shaking her head as Sam snickered.

“What can I say? I like a girl who can throw a dagger.” He smiled.

“I know how to throw a dagger too.”

“Okay, I don’t like any girl who can throw a dagger, maybe it’s her.” He shrugged; he sure would love to figure that out.

Now however, things were very different.

Bucky got on your nerves like no other. You were going at it again after one tough mission. All the avengers were in the meeting room for a post-mission briefing, and it didn’t go well.

“How is it my fault that you decided to follow me, when I specifically told you not to?” you yelled back at Bucky, fuelled with the accusation.

“You were so fucking stupid out there in the field, why did they even let you be there? You almost died, and almost got me hurt!” Bucky yelled from across the table at you. The two of you pushed your chairs back as the rest of the team sat there groaning.

“That’s your fault for following me! I don’t need a babysitter! Besides, almost doesn’t count, I didn’t die and more than that, I got the formula that we needed!” you gestured to the vile sitting on the table to prove your point.

“You were stupid and reckless, you got stabbed and you could’ve ruined the whole mission! I would’ve been the one that had to carry you if you got shot instead of focusing on the mission!” he argued, your stomach was bandaged up but it was fine.

“I’m sorry, but this is MY stab wound and it’s barely a stab, more like a glaze of a knife really, that hydra agent was really unqualified.” You let yourself go off topic, but really- what were they doing recruiting dumb people like that? “And besides that, I didn’t ruin the mission, I wasn’t reckless- it was a risky move but I calculated it and to prove it to you, I won us the mission!”

“I could’ve done it much more smoothly, if you just listened to the instructions for once-”

“You think you could’ve done it smoothly? Yeah, sure because sneaking in with a glowing arm is better than teleporting in there!”

“Okay you two kids need a timeout; this is giving me a headache.” Tony complained, “Y/N it was risky but you got us what we needed, next time consol us. Barnes, let it go, she got stabbed.”

“It was barely a stab.”

“Getting stabbed isn’t an excuse to get out of trouble.”

You and Bucky said at the same time, then you looked at each other, you just scoffed. “I got shot at last week- it didn’t stop Steve from lecturing me”

“Oh boo freaking hoo you got shot at, deal with it.” You mocked, tony gave you a stern look and you sat down, only to get up a second after as Bucky was too cocky for your liking.

“It’s Steve- all he does is give lectures and throw a Frisbee.” Tony dismissed it and ignored Steve’s glare.

“Boo hoo? What are you a child?” the bastard smirked, knowing very well how he got on your nerves. “Besides- I did deal with it, I’m a supersoldier, and I can handle a little bullet- unlike you, that is.”

“You just have to have the last word at everything, don’t you?” you scoffed at him, hated that he got to you so easily but you were not going to back down to that little shit.

“Yes.” He replied, but before you could retort back at him, tony interrupted again.

“Can you two just hate fuck all of this shit out, so we can get on with this briefing so we can get this over with, now shall we?”

“Absolutely not!”

“You wish!”

The two of you answered, you glared at the soldier in front of you before directing it to give a mean stare to Tony.

“I will beat you, you know.” You whispered to him as you sat down in your chair.

“Oh doll, you’re no match to me.” He sat down, “I’ll always get the last word, just wait and see.”

There was a mischievous glint in his eyes that felt familiar to you that you really didn’t like. The game is on.

You and Wanda sat in your room, just after a huge shopping spree at the mall(with sunglasses and baseball hats of course), your arms were sore, red lines covering them from the amount of shopping bags you carried back to the tower. Now the two of you were trying on your new outfits, your favourite music blaring.

The music stopped and you turned around to see Natasha next to the speaker, smirking as she closed the door behind her.

“Now, how much did the two of you spend on all these?”

“Probably too much, but it’s worth it.” You smiled at her, spinning around in your new mini dress it twirled as you did; it was beautiful but casual enough that you can wear it daily. The beautiful light purple of it caressed your skin perfectly.

“It fits you perfectly, I’m sure Barnes will go mad when he sees you in it.”

“Come on Nat, we talked about it. I don’t like him in the slightest, he doesn’t like me. I know you’re a superspy but you’re wrong about this.”

“Oh come on Y/N,” Wanda joined in on the conversation. “You have to admit that there is a sort of spark between the two of you. You can’t deny that forever.”

“Oh are we really doing this right now?” you groaned “fine but just so I don’t lose my sanity, at least what’s left of it, I need some tea.”

The next second you were in the kitchen, in front of the mug cabinet, looking for your favourite mug when you spotted it on the top shelf. Fucking shit, you rose to your tiptoes to try and reach it.

“Looking for something?” the voice of Sam startled you. You turned around to see Steve, Sam and-

“You put it up there didn’t you?” you accused the soldier who was now staring at you. You raised your eyebrows as Steve nudged his friend.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about doll.” He gave you a sinister smile, before his eyes lit up. “But I’m sure you can reach it on your own, unless you want some help, or a stool perhaps?”

You could feel your cheeks flaming as he walked towards you to offer help, what a gentleman.

“My size is perfectly normal, it is you who is ridiculously tall because of some stupid serum” you stuck an accusing finger at his chest. He just smiled sarcastically at you. His eyes fixed on you as he took your mug off of the shelf. You reached for it but huffed when he turned around to make himself coffee. In your mug. He knew damn well that you don’t drink coffee. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Making myself a drink”

“That’s my mug, give it back!” at that, the machine started pouring coffee into your tea mug. You audibly gasped, and looked at him as he raised it to his lips. He took a sip and sat in his chair. Now, the next thing you did was a little petty, but sometimes it’s necessary.

The minute he put the cup on the isle, you walked to him with a smile and grabbed it.

“What are you-” before he could finish the sentence you teleported away with a mug full of coffee, and a satisfied smile on your face as you sat on the chair in your room.

The two girls in the room looked at you in question as you took a sip and scrunched your face at the bitter taste.

“What have you got there?”

“Coffee”

“Don’t you hate coffee?”

“It’s awful.”

“Then why are you drinking it?” Wanda tilted her head.

“So Bucky won’t get to drink it.” You answered and took another sip.

“Have you thought about maybe pouring it down the drain?”

“Nope, I’m going to drink it.” You took another bitter sip, “spite runs the world.”

“We really have the work cut out for us, don’t we?” Natasha looked at Wanda who sat on the bed beside her, she nodded and you shook your head at your friends.

“Just say what you want to say, but my answer won’t change.”

“Do you really think this is all hatred without an ounce of attraction?” Wanda tried, you appreciated her being gentle but they were wrong. Maybe at the start- when you two first met, you did feel some type of way toward the man, but things were quick to change.

“It really is nothing but that. Look, there is nothing in our behaviour that suggests otherwise. I really don’t understand why you guys think that we are secretly in love, you should be trained at reading people well. Oh how the mighty fall…” you put an overdramatic hand on your forehead, drenched in sorrow.

You quickly opened your eyes to dodge a pillow throwing your way by the widow, okay maybe you had it coming with that one.

‘It’s a lost cause with her, Nat. she will come to us when she is ready.’ Wanda sent a thought to Natasha.

'She really is blind, yet she has the nerve to accuse us on not reading people right.’ The redhead shot an eye roll at Wanda who was quick to change the subject then, claiming you have a lot of clothes you have yet to try on.

“All I’m saying man, is that you don’t have to yell 'on your left’ every time you pass me by.”

“I am only warning you about me coming your way.” Steve had a shit eating grin on his face.

The other supersoldier sat there laughing alongside his friend. It all stopped when suddenly you showed up, in a pretty little dress, riding up slightly as you tried to reach your mug. All thought escaped from his head.

“You put it up there, didn’t you?” Steve then nudged his arm and his eyes rose back to yours, taking a moment to get his composure back.

“I don’t know what you are talking about doll. But I’m sure you can reach it on your own, unless you want some help, or a stool perhaps?” he walked towards you, smiling as he saw your cheeks blush.

He could barely hear what you said as he stood in front of you, barely an inch separating your chests as you stuck your finger in the middle of his. He just smirked as he took your mug and made coffee for himself. He took a sip and went to sit back in his chair, almost laughing when he heard your gasp.

His victory was short lived though because the next thing he knew, you flashed a beautiful smile at him and then disappeared with his coffee. He continued looking at where you were, a small smile playing on his lips.

“So, I’m glad to see you’re having fun with your little girlfriend.”

“She is not my girlfriend, come on stop with that nonsense.” Bucky groaned.

“You went all heart eyes when she teleported here, you must really like purple huh?” Sam teased.

“I don’t know Sam. It could be the purple, the dress… the girl.” Steve joined in. he always loved teasing Bucky, but he was also hoping his stupid friend would just admit to liking the girl.

“I don’t like her; she is so annoying, so stop wasting your time on this!”

“That’s not what you said about her the first time you met her though.”

“What did he say about her?” Steve questioned, this new piece of information catching his attention.

“He was all heart eyes, calling her his doll, saying he liked her with her dagger…”

“Sam that was a long time ago, things change.”

“I don’t know Buck, a lot of things change in our lives, but do you really think that changed?” Steve offered, the 21st century was different and new to both of them, but he knew Bucky through it all and he knows him too well to let him throw this chemistry away.

Bucky in turn, huffed and left the kitchen.

It was definitely a party for something- you were sure of it. It’s just that Tony usually made up things to party for. But with your day to day job it was a nice break.

You were in your room getting ready for the party when there was a knock on your door. Steve came inside and sat on your bed.

“You look lovely Y/N!” he is so polite, you loved it. Looking down on your fine dress, it was a navy blue dress with a high-low skirt, it cascaded on your legs, you felt confident in it, but it is always nice to hear it from someone else.

“Thank you Steve, I see that Tony finally made you wear a tux?”

“His nagging became too much” he groaned in a laugh.

“What happened to mister stand like a tree and say no, you move?” you imitated him as you put on your silver earrings.

“Huh, I guess tony has a talent.” The two of you laughed.

“So what did you want? You must have come here for something.”

“I just wanted to talk to you. You know, back in the day Bucky would drag me to festivals and parties to dance and be with the dames. He is a real charmer.”

“Was” You huffed, but he just continued talking.

“One time he convinced these two girls to come with us to this science exhibit. They didn’t really pay attention to me, but they were hooked on his every word, especially this dark haired girl- I think her name was Clara? Well she married some doctor in the war, but nonetheless she gushed about Bucky one day when we saw her, it was after the serum thing.” He seemed to get lost in thought.

“Steve? That’s a very nice story and all but if Natasha sent you to try to make me like him then I’m sorry to tell you but-” you put on your heels and tied them.

“Natasha didn’t send me, I came here alone-”

“Title of your sex tape”

“You know no one finds that funny” you knew that. You shrugged, they all just groan when you say that but you couldn’t care less. He just shook his head, “Anyways, I’m here because I care about Bucky. He is my best friend and I want him to be happy and I know that you two can be happy together.”

“You don’t know that Steve, you just want it to be true. Why don’t you set him up with some girl? All those agents are basically drooling when they see him around the tower.” You sighed, “Maybe in some alternate universe where I like him or he likes me, maybe then we could be civil with each other. But I don’t like him, and he doesn’t like me. Call it a mutual agreement. You’re a good guy Steve, but don’t push this because it just won’t happen.”

With a comforting hand on his shoulder, you got up and got Steve out of your room so you could finish getting ready. You shook the thoughts about the conversation out of your mind, absolute nonsense, you shouldn’t let it linger and cloud your thoughts.

The party was loud, and you found yourself talking to a cute agent when he suddenly turned red, eyes wide, and muttered a quick apology before scattering away, leaving you confused.

“Well well well, are you planning on getting a victim tonight?” that low voice made you mentally curse as you turned around.

“From what I hear you were quite a charmer back in the day, don’t know where all that went though, so if anything you are collecting victims with every person you talk to. Poor people really.” You nodded your head in faux sadness.

“I am a charmer, if I wanted to, I’d charm you but you are just not worth it doll.” He sipped from his drink, it didn’t affect him but the habit was still there.

“Yeah right, all talk and no game, I haven’t seen a single doll coming your way. You’re thinking too highly of yourself I’m afraid.”

“Nah I’m doing just fine. I don’t see you getting any though.” He smirked at that and downed his drink, setting it behind you on the bar and taking a new one from a passing waiter, not moving from his place in front of you.

“I would be, but you scared him off! You with your murder stare” you yelled at him.

“I did no such thing! It’s your fault for choosing poor no backbone guys.”

“You’re a dick, Barnes.” You shook your head at him. Was your face hot from the drink or from your anger?

“Whatever you say doll” his cheeky grin never wavered from his face.

“Oh fuck off!”

“Language” You both looked at Steve who was sitting in a chair, on the bar, a little bit away from the two of you.  The two of you burst out laughing at that, as he tried to explain.

“It was one time guys, come on. It just blurted out!” his face was bright red.

“Title of your sex tape!” you said and looked at Bucky as the two of you laughed even harder at your friend. From the laughter Bucky put his hand on the small of your back. You pretended not to notice.

The party started to calm down when this one girl who Bucky talked to during the night wrapped her hand over his right bicep.

“So, what do you say, we can take it back to my place? You can tell me all about your special missions.”

He laughed and looked behind her as you sat with Tony and Pepper.

“Nah, I think I’ll stay here instead.” He nodded to her as she huffed and went in her purple gown towards the elevator.

“What happened to that girl who was flirting with you, Barnes?” tony asked as he sat down with them. He looked over Tony’s shoulder as you talked to Pepper.

“I guess she just wasn’t my type” he sighed.

tags: @callmeluna @sstanbarnes @buckys-other-punk @drabblewithfrannybarnes​ 

[lovelyirony]

Title: I wish i could forget you

Tony Stark was not supposed to be in the car when Howard and Maria Stark attended a Christmas holiday party for another company. In fact, Hydra had wanted him to stay home. 

Unfortunately, Tony had ticked off Howard a bit too much, and so here he was in a tuxedo that was a bit too big, uncomfortably shiny shoes, and a temper that was close to blowing. 

Thank god they were almost home. 

When a car crashes, one almost can’t believe it. Tony can see the outside blurring, and he can hear glass crunching, and he hears things that he really doesn’t want to hear. He is fairly sure that Maria screamed. 

A metal arm. 

Huh. 

Well, not the most typical. He also doesn’t think that the man knows he’s here. 

Howard and Maria Stark are killed. Tony feels like shit because he couldn’t do anything. His forehead is bleeding and he didn’t want to move out of fear for himself, which seems selfish, but also maybe a survival instinct? 

God, his bow-tie is still constricting air flow. 

Once the man turns, Tony realizes that he wasn’t the target. They probably had no idea he was in the car, whoever “they” were. 

He gets out of the car. The car door creaks, and the man whips around. 

His eyes widen. 

“You--what?” 

The voice is surprisingly American. 

Surprisingly? He’s not sure why it’s surprising, it’s not like an American can’t kill just look at history, but still, Kind of surprising. 

"What, wasn’t supposed to be here?” Tony rasps out. He realizes now that he’s basically sent himself a death sentence as the man surges forward. 

“What are you doing here?” 

His eyes are piercing. Also very, very familiar with some photographs that Peggy has on her mantle and her desk. 

James “Bucky” Barnes. Son of a bitch. 

“What are you doing alive?” Tony asks. “I thought you were lost in a ravine in Europe somewhere.” 

“What--huh?” 

“Ravine. In Europe. You know who you are, right? Is this some kind of sick...what did they do to you?” 

“I do not know what you are talking about.” 

His eyes get cold again. 

“Who are you?” 

“I am the Asset.” 

It is now that Tony realizes that every single shitty sci-fi book is probably right, and his disdain of “wacky science” and “magic” have all been for nothing, because here is Bucky Barnes, who apparently has no idea who he is. 

Then Tony gets knocked on his ass. His body slams against the icy road, and Barnes is rushing towards a motorcycle. 

And he’s alone. He can’t breathe, all the wind knocked out of his chest. He thinks he broke a couple of ribs. 

- 

No one believes him. At all. SHIELD brushes it aside. 

“There’s no way Barnes could be alive. You were probably just seeing things,” they tell him. “Would you like us to find you a therapist?” 

“No,” Tony says, and they ask why. He laughs, sipping on his water. “SHIELD has so much loyalty to itself, I’m afraid I’d be compromised.” 

“Therapists aren’t supposed to divulge any information,” Nick Fury adds carefully. “And we’re a secret-keeping bunch. Nothing goes out that comes in.” 

“Unless, of course, it’s necessary,” Tony drawls, staring at Fury. God, the leather outfit...that’s weird. “Then I’m out in the open, Nicky. And what fun is that unless I get to show off an outfit in full-coverage?” 

“...I’ll have an agent escort you home. We’ll have guards overnight.” 

“Don’t bother.” 

“And why is that? Think you can handle it by yourself?” 

“Fury, my family has made a career out of thinking a lot of things. You’re not being as detrimental as you think.” 

He finger-waves, grinning and winking at agents on the way out. 

- 

Now comes paranoia. This is welcome, actually, because it’s allowing him to work up new security measures and hack into various security cameras around the world to see if he can find Barnes. 

It’s like he’s a ghost. And fuck, maybe Fury was right. Tony doesn’t like that, but that may be it. 

Merry fucking Christmas. 

- 

Years go by, and Tony keeps a tiny ear to any news about mysterious deaths that can’t be explained. A man that glows in lamp-light, has no identity. He’s not sure if it could be Barnes. God knows he’s no longer seventeen, and Barnes--it if it was Barnes--would be way older. He should’ve been an old man in 1991, but he wasn’t. 

It kind of reminds him of the conspiracy theory that Walt Disney was kept cryogenically frozen, which is just ridiculous, because as far as he’s concerned, you’d need a bit more to you than just regular skin and bones. 

And this is where it hits him. 

Barnes was experimented on when he was captured by Hydra. Peggy told him that Rogers told her that he was repeating his dog tag number over and over, as if someone was trying to take him over. 

Yeah, you’d need a bit more. 

Like a fucking super soldier serum. 

- 

This then delves into Tony realizing that if Barnes is flash-frozen, then...well, could Rogers have survived? He always thought his dad was crazy, but a broken clock is right twice a week or however the hell that saying goes. He never used it, he wasn’t a broken clock. 

(He was broken, but he’s not going to compare himself to a clock. Perhaps  Model-T.) 

- 

They find Rogers. Tony realizes Howard did his math completely wrong for years, and probably never let anyone look at it because he was a World Super Genius. And a Colossal Dick. 

Steve Rogers is one tough cookie to crack. Tony chips off some of the ice and puts it in a glass of scotch. 

“Do you really think that’s the most appropriate thing to do?” Phil Coulson asks. 

He’s shocked, but mainly because Tony has seen his Cap collection, and that man has so many limited edition cards and lunchboxes that it’s a bit crazy. But at least he knows how to decorate with it and not have it look like an absolute nutjob swept into his house and did it all in red-white-and-blue. 

“Phil, my darling, when have I ever done anything the appropriate way?” Tony asks. He stares at the face that’s emerging out of the ice. “Besides, what else are you going to do with this ice, hm? Besides melt it all off?” 

Steve is a miracle. Every scientist on earth wants to poke and prod at him. 

Tony breaks him out of SHIELD in a week, because he swears to shit if one more scientist asks to take blood samples “to see how going under Arctic temperatures affects the bloodstream” (and also take DNA for cloning) he’s going to lose it. 

Fury yells at him for two hours. 

Steve flips Fury off from the couch, where he’s been channel-surfing for the better part of three hours. 

“You’ve already corrupted him,” Fury scowls. “Rogers, we need to talk--” 

“He’s retired,” Tony says. 

(Steve is not, technically. Hasn’t said anything. But Tony is putting him on mandatory retirement for at least a year.) 

“What’s...what the ever-loving fuck is that?” Steve asks. 

An infomercial. For an automated chair. Mostly used for old people. 

Tony grins. 

“You wanna see how fast I can launch you out of one?” 

“I’m going to say yes. Professionally.” 

Ten miles an hour, and Steve goes flying across the room into a pile of pillows. 

It’s not the end-all solution. God knows Steve calls him “Howard” and asks where a lot of nasty food is, and sometimes can’t tell the difference between what his brain is seeing and what is actually there. 

But Tony gets him help. And Steve goes to art school. 

It’s all very funny, actually. Steve rants about “modern art” and how “if he could kill any concept it would be abstract expressionism, what the fuck.” 

Tony buys and then donates a Rothko in his honor. 

Steve fumes, but finds it hilarious. 

Then, there’s the attack on New York. 

Norse god of mischief decides to end New York, blah blah blah. 

Captain America reappears, everyone loses their shit, and Tony almost dies. 

Then he gets four other roomies besides Steve, and he has to make a chore chart. Ugh. 

- 

Barnes reappears in France. Tony gets a fairly good image, and Natasha stills. 

“You know about Winter Soldier?” 

“Barnes? Yeah.” 

“You know who he is?” 

“James Barnes. At least, I think. He tried to kill me, wasn’t very successful at it.” 

Steve overhears. 

This leads to a chain of events that ends in Steve not coming to family dinner because he’d rather sit in his room and listen to Green Day or Glenn Miller or whatever the hell gets him even more upset. 

“Listen, Steve, I’m sorry. But up until this picture? I was only about sixty percent sure I wasn’t full of beans.” 

“Why is that the phrase you use?” 

“What, full of beans? Bruce says I have to work on my cursing. Apparently, children are impressionable. Who knew?” 

It’s not a total success. Steve still doesn’t like that Tony didn’t outright tell him, but Tony isn’t going to tell Steve that he has the mental stability of a single cashew. 

So begins the hunt for Barnes. Which actually isn’t too bad. 

He’s in DC. Not for any political clean-up, unfortunately. He’s trying to kill Fury. Tony doesn’t know why, at least until he looks up Pierce, who’s technically, mostly retired from SHIELD. 

And yet still uses most resources that technically? He needs more than one authorization from multiple people. 

God, people are getting bad at covering their tracks. Used to be harder to catch and see if someone was doing dirty deals. 

(Okay, not like he can talk because Obie was...well, no use in discussing that now. He needs to focus.) 

Nat and Steve are bad at lying. This kind of surprises him, because Steve is usually a successful liar. He’s convinced Clint that it’s not him who keeps eating his peanut-butter-fudge ice cream, but Thor. 

And Natasha used to be Natalie Rushman. Then again, Tony was poisoned during that one, so that might just be on him. 

-

Helicarriers go in the water. 

Tony’s working on making sure most of the information doesn’t reach the general public, although he can’t stop it all. 

Barnes falls off the face of the earth, and Steve wants to go on another treasure hunt. 

“Let him come to us, or figure himself out.” 

“This isn’t a college kid going backpacking in Europe for a year,” Nat snaps. “He’s...you know who he is, who he was, and what he can do.” 

“Counterpoint: we don’t know if he secretly really wanted to see traditional decoration of Ukrainian Easter eggs,” Tony says. “God knows that I want to learn more about that.” 

“Is everything a joke to you?” 

"Only on federally mandated holidays,” Tony says with a shrug. “But let him be. Steve, it’s one thing that he didn’t kill you. It’s another thing that he hauled you up from the Potomac. I’m not sure I would’ve done that because who goes up alone to a helicarrier?” 

“Historically nobody,” Natasha says. “Most people don’t have any helicarriers.” 

“God, this situation sucks,” Tony says. “What if. We potentially. Ignore all of it and have spinach and artichoke dip? Hm?” 

“With toasted bread?” 

“I’m not an animal, Steve.” 

“Your penchant for four a.m. coffee while you don’t realize you’re singing songs from the seventies says otherwise,” he responds. 

“Well well well, if it isn’t the punishment of you getting the aux taken away for a week,” Tony taunts. 

“Oh, come on!” Steve whines. 

“Nope, just you having to listen to more of Bruce’s questionable tastes.” 

“Fuck.” 

- 

Barnes comes stateside. The only reason Tony knows this is because Jarvis says that he may have spotted Barnes, but he’s not sure. 

“J, you’re the most advanced system in the world, not to mention my son, and you like to hack into the Pentagon for funsies.” 

“All of that could not have prepared me for this.” 

Barnes is wearing a neon green tank top that is advertising Coco Beach in Florida. 

“Can I laugh? Or is that sad?” 

“Multitask, Sir.” 

“Oh, true.” 

- 

Barnes is not in New York. Tony has to near-about put an electric fence around the whole state so that Steve doesn’t go on a road trip. 

Hell, Tony doesn’t even trust him to go to coffee alone, but that’s a bit much. 

“We have to wait,” Tony says. 

Sam Wilson is a godsend. Also the funniest man Tony knows. 

He is also emotionally healthy and very perceptive, so he has been noticing that Tony is nervous. 

Because how do you face the man who killed your parents? Technically? 

“Are you talking to your therapist?” Sam asks. “Just thinking you should.” 

“Sam, we’re working on my issues from 2007. Believe it or not, it will be taking a full year.” 

“I don’t like that I can never tell if you’re serious.” 

“I know you remember the tabloids from 2007, I wrote a mesh vest. Clearly, I need so much help.” 

Sam snorts. 

“Maybe. Hey, I’ll catch you later. Clint and I are gonna go try and find some questionable shirts to crop.” 

“Did his little protege convince you? Bishop, right?” 

“Kate, yeah. She’s convinced our public image will go viral or something. Good luck with helping Steve and Nat with your super-soldier hunt.” 

“Thanks. Let me know if you find a shirt with my face on it. I want it.” 

Sam snorts. 

“Will do.” 

- 

Bucky Barnes comes to New York in early May. The springtime is slowly but surely fading off, sun approaching more and more. Tony is enjoying coffee on a veranda, and then suddenly his waiter is nowhere to be found and he’s not entirely sure if his visitor takes credit or debit. 

“Can I help you?” 

“Maybe. Depends on if you’re gonna kill me or not.” 

“I think Steve would be a bit broken up about it.” 

“Do you care what he thinks?” 

“On this situation? Yes. When it comes to culinary choices? No.” 

There’s a ghost of a smile on his face. Tony’s trying extremely hard not to remember shattered glass and a motorcycle on ice. 

“Can we, uh, table this conversation? For later. Espresso and all that, plus the added bonus of our shared history, so...” 

“Shared history?” 

“You don’t remember?” Tony asks. Bucky shakes his head. “Ah. Then this is truly a comedy of errors. Maybe. Um. Listen, I, uh...I gotta go. You need to talk to Nat or Steve or hell, maybe even Thor. Is Thor a good option?” 

“I’m sorry, what?” 

“Barnes, I can’t exactly face you right now.” 

And then he jumps off a balcony. 

A fucking balcony. 

Jesus H. Christ, his therapist is gonna be so excited for their next session. 

The suit wraps itself around him, and he can finally breathe, and he’s thinking about calling Pepper and see if she would like to schedule him a vacation for maybe anywhere but New York and Iowa. 

“Why not Iowa?” Pepper asks. “They have good antique stores. I’ve gotten quite a few good finds for clothes.” 

“I can do shopping retail literally anywhere else, absolutely not.” 

“Spoilsport. Steve know you’re leaving?” 

“I didn’t even really tell Steve what happened with my parents.” 

“Oh, your therapist called. She sounded concerned, but also intrigued.” 

“It’s because Sally almost became an employee of NASA and still has a soft spot for aerodynamics.” 

“What exactly did you do when faced with Barnes?” 

“Check the front tabloid page tomorrow, just tell everyone I’m out of town.” 

“Got it. And Tony?” 

Her voice is soft. 

“Yes, dear?” 

He can feel her rolling her eyes. Affectionately, of course, but rolling all the same. 

“Be safe, and come back. You know Rhodey and I miss you.” 

“I miss you too.” 

- 

A week is spent in Malibu. He really is thinking about selling this place. But for now, it suffices. 

Steve texts him. 

bucky’s back. holy shit 

be back in a week. radio silence. 

got it. no more messages from me. thor tells me to tell you that he broke the sink 

:(((( 

And that’s it. He’s sitting in the house for a week, has already called Sally once and explained how his suit works, and then listened to her talk about how “his reliance on the suit to help him escape unfavorable situations is not exactly the healthiest but also none of my clients have had to face someone who is of weird standing.” 

It’s no secret that Tony doesn’t like Howard Stark. Who would’ve liked that sorry excuse for a father, a man who was so cold-hearted the Arctic looked like a tropical paradise? 

Maria was...Maria was different. 

She wasn’t a good mother. No, she was never a good mother. But she tried, and she didn’t deserve her fate. 

And then there was the question of Bucky Barnes. Who wasn’t Bucky when he was there, but still so damn recognizable. 

It’s kind of like when there’s a movie about a famous person, and another person plays them. Like Tom Hanks, essentially. Bucky played whoever the fuck they get Tom Hanks to play and it’s similar: you see the resemblance, but it’s not it. 

So yeah. 

There’s also the little tidbit that things get complicated when you involve personal feelings and rationality, and really? Tony misses New York. A lot. And he’s not going to let someone else overtake his life just because he’s uncomfortable. 

So he flies back to New York. 

- 

He’s in a bad way, Barnes is. 

“He remembered you,” Steve says. “What he did.” 

“Ah, there’s that.” 

“He doesn’t have to be here,” Natasha says. “I have a couple of SHIELD safe houses to choose from.” 

“None would be adequate to house something like me,” comes the response. 

Barnes looks remarkably shitty, as if he hasn’t slept in eighty years. And maybe he hasn’t. 

“Jail would be more fitting.” 

Tony rolls his eyes. 

“You are literally the most dramatic person ever, and Bruce threatened to take over the government because Thor ate the last croissant. Put those on the grocery list, Steve

“We’re not gonna throw you in jail,” he continues on. “Not because you happened to be used as a goddamned Swiss army knife. I have issues, sure, but I’m not going to be going all Hannibal Lecter or whatever.” 

“Who the hell is that?” 

“Cannibal. I realized that that’s a terrible comparison, please forgive me.” 

“Why a cannibal?” 

“Couldn’t think of anything else but Anthony Hopkins, the actor. My mistake. Point is, we’re gonna have to go through some channels, and I’m introducing you to BARF, as well as a new person who’s gonna rock your world.” 

“I’m pretty much well-acquainted with vomit.” 

“No, not that,” Tony says. “Although we can cover that through my 2005 edition of partying if we really wanna dig up some old magazine interviews. No, I’m introducing you to something that’s going to change your life.” 

-

After that, Tony doesn’t have much to do with Bucky’s life. 

He serves as a permanent guilt trip, nothing says “well, shit” much like being a permanent guilt trip. 

Sally tells him that they should talk it out. Do all that “and how do you feel?” questioning that makes his skin crawl and his eyes ascend to the ceiling. 

I mean yeah, they share a living space. Tony has seen Bucky laugh and smile with Sam, talk with Bruce about a really interesting article about regeneration of plant cells or whatever, and Bucky enjoys videochatting with Wakandan royalty. 

(It also helps that Shuri is blunt as ever, but so blisteringly smart. He’s reading her paper on regeneration of nanotechnology, and it just...it’s the Pieta of research, that paper.) 

But he never speaks to Bucky. Well, he does. But it’s more along the lines of “hey Barnes” and “how are you?” which aren’t exactly the Most Thought Provoking Statements Ever Made. 

Summer comes swiftly, and about near with a vengeance. Tony’s dealing with a heat wave and trying to figure out if going outside is even worth it, and then he and Bucky are alone in the kitchen. 

Tony was debating getting a couple of popsicles from the freezer. Bucky is considering sabotaging Clint’s smoothie that was supposed to be special for tonight, but that he’ll most likely forget. 

“Hey,” Bucky says. “Um, can we talk?” 

Shit. 

He’s been avoiding this, officially, for a month. Potentially more if you’re going to count a few choice events that have been brought up by his psyche. 

“Sure thing, buttercup. What are we talking about. Economy, world crises, the great debate on financial advice?” 

“Isn’t the third thing just the economy?” 

“We can break it down over coffee.” 

“Mm, maybe another time. No, I’m talking about us. About how I--I kind of ruined your life.” 

Tony blinks. 

“You didn’t ruin my life. If my life was ruined you’d be hit with so many lawsuits that I could make the rest of your life look like the third circle of Hell, or wherever it is that people go nowadays in Dante’s eyes. No, you didn’t ruin my life.” 

“I still killed your parents.” 

“If you hadn’t, someone else would’ve. Believe me, there were about fifteen others in line. Sometimes, myself included.” 

“You can’t not take me seriously,” Bucky stresses. “I still did a terrible thing. I just want to make sure you know that you’re being too kind.” 

“I most certainly am not,” Tony says. “Being too kind would have me feeding you grapes.” 

Bucky’s face blanks. 

“Don’t. I...I don’t wanna take advantage of your hospitality. I don’t want to remind you of what happened.” 

“You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t wanted,” Tony says. “Believe me. And if you want to leave, you’re free to leave. I don’t want to make you feel like you need to stay here.” 

“I...I want to make it up to you.” 

“Then use BARF and review it,” Tony says. “I’m serious. I need user feedback, and you’re the best candidate for it. Also, please try to convince Steve to wear neon yellow. I just want to see if he’ll do it.” 

- 

Steve wears neon yellow. Tony laughs so hard he cries. 

Bucky smiles. 

It’s a nice smile, really. It’s wide and happy and wow. That’s all worth it. 

And then BARF. Bucky just gives user feedback, nothing else. Tony doesn’t want to know anything else, but they start talking more. 

Tony finds out that Bucky’s been doing crosswords to catch up on current events, and he’s bought taped recordings of World Series games. 

He loves antique stores. He visits them and brings home little trinkets that he remembers in his own house, or what he remembered. He watched old commercials from the fifties and sixties, laughed as he remembered the Sears catalogs that would come in the mail. 

“Me an’ my sisters would beg my mom for new clothes from the catalog, and she never would. Always sewed our pants and skirts so damn well, I probably could’ve used them for the next ten years.”  

Tony laughs. 

“Well, I can’t promise I can sew. But I could give you some armor that could last you twenty years, if you want. Steve told me you’re thinking about doing some distance missions.” 

“Just observation, no armor required.” 

“Sometimes it’s the simple missions that get the worst hits,” Tony says. “Believe me, I know how it goes. So, do you want some armor?” 

Bucky smiles. 

“Sure.” 

“I’ll need feedback.” 

“I’ll give it all I’ve got.” 

- 

Bucky is a goddamned dream to design for. He knows exactly what he needs, what areas are most likely to be pierced, and also has a flair for the dramatic: he requests an Iron Man helmet be embroidered on the back. 

“You’re really just trying to be sweet on me, aren’t you?” Tony teases. 

“My master plan to gain your fortune,” Bucky teases right back. “I’ll waste it all on champagne pools and the worst-looking but most expensive shoes I can find.” 

Tony laughs. 

“Sugar, that’d be incredible if you could spend all of my money on that. I’d commend you.” 

Bucky smiles, and it shouldn’t be as nice of a smile as it is, but here Tony is with his opinions and his concerning thought that maybe he wants to see more of Bucky. 

- 

In the morning, there begins a routine. Tony is always up at eight o’clock. It’s a rare lull in Avenger-morning-routines: Nat, Steve, and Bruce are all done, and Thor and Clint won’t be in until ten o’clock at the earliest. 

(What can he say? Thor’s a god and Clint...well. He needs a lot of beauty sleep.) 

Tony makes coffee, and Bucky makes them both breakfast. Says that officially, it’s to test and make sure that his prosthetic is still performing under optimal conditions. 

(They both know that’s not it.) 

Tony always says he pours too much water, makes enough for two cups. 

- 

Steve calls them out on it. 

“You two are being weird,” he says. “And not like Thor and Bruce trying to reenact that one show about ghosts and unsolved things.” 

“That’s their form of courtship, don’t be fucking rude,” Clint remarks. Natasha snorts. 

“What, us being weird?” Tony asks, pouring a bit more coffee into Bucky’s mug. He always uses too much creamer and then won’t finish his coffee unless there’s more. “Why do you say that?” 

“It’s because you both do couple shit,” Bruce says, breezing into the kitchen. “Also, Steve, lovely to see that you have volunteered to be the next guest on Avengers: Unsolved. We’re planning on using you as a guilt-trip in order to access files about aliens.” 

“Truth will be found!” Thor adds. “But also, yes. Bucky, I thought you were taking him on a date to the art museum on Saturday.” 

Bucky turns red. So does Tony. It really is quite inconvenient. 

“I mean, we could go on a date there,” Tony says. “If you’re okay with that.” 

“You’re doing this in public?” Natasha asks, eyebrows raised. “Hm. Would not have called that.” 

“You owe me fifteen dollars,” Bucky says. “Not you Tony, quit looking at me like that. Yes, it will be a date on Saturday, I’ll wear a nice shirt. Nat said that I couldn’t do anything that surprised her.” 

“Technically, Tony surprised me.” 

“I thought dates were mutual events, hm? Fifteen dollars. I’ll use it to buy the best bouquet in New York.” 

“The best bouquet costs over a thousand dollars,” Thor answers. 

“Not questioning how you know that, but I’m scared of you,” Bucky says. “Then I will get the best fifteen-dollar-bouquet in New York.” 

Tony snorts, smiling. 

“I guess I’ll spray a bit of my perfume on my pillow then, soldier.” 

“I’ll pick you up at noon sharp,” Bucky says, grinning. He finishes his coffee. “We’ll make fun of Steve’s art exhibit together.” 

[scoopsgf]

for a prompt peter meets the rouge avengers and they witness irondad at it's finest

It’s half past two in the morning when Peter’s ears perk at the sound of an old-fashioned, peppy ringtone.

He looks around in search of it. There’s Tony passed out at his workbench, face dangerously close to a slice of plated cold pizza; DUM-E is rolling around a few feet away chasing after a crumpled ball of paper Peter had tossed over his shoulder; there are tools scattered everywhere and blueprints and a whiteboard covered in equations.

But no phone.

Peter slips off his stool. He walks toward the sound, slowly, cautiously, and by the time he thinks he’s located the source the ringing stops.

Peter stares at Tony’s discarded running jacket. Throwing him a quick glance over his shoulder just to make sure the older man is still asleep, he reaches into the pocket and pulls out an old flip phone.

“What,” he deadpans, to absolutely no one.

Tony Stark, the former CEO of the world’s largest tech conglomerate. Tony Stark, creator of the most powerful mechanical weapon—sorry, prosthetic—of all time…

Is carrying around a dinky Nokia from 2009.

A Nokia which promptly starts ringing again (very loudly). “Shit!” Peter swears, jumping. On instinct he answers it. “Hello? What? Hello?”

“Tony?”

Peter glances at Tony again. He bites his lip. “Tony is unfortunately unavailable at the moment. I’m his… personal assistant. Would you like to leave a message?”

“Oh, uh,” there’s some muffled muttering on the other end, like the caller is relaying Peter’s words back to someone else, and then, “I uh—it’s kind of an emergency. Would you mind asking him if he’s got a minute to talk?”

And by now, Peter’s totally put the pieces together: crappy old phone, the voice—he is absolutely 100% having a real life conversation with Steve Rogers.

Again.

Peter doesn’t exactly know the full story between Tony and Steve. He just knows that whenever anyone brings up Rogers, Tony’s face darkens and he clams up.

Squinting at Tony, he asks, “Are you sure you need to talk to him?”

“Believe me, I wouldn’t have called otherwise.”

“But if you had, maybe, some other form of assistance? Say a web-slinging vigilante from Queens?”

There’s a pause.

Steve says, “Hey, kid,” with a smile in his voice.

“Hey Brooklyn,” Peter returns. “Long time, no speak.”

“Yeah, well, you know. So you’re working for Tony now?”

“I wouldn’t call it working so much as slave labour.”

A laugh. “Somehow I doubt that. What’s he doing?”

“Sleeping—which, y’know, he barely gets enough of as it is. So what’s the situation?”

-

“Nice disguise.”

Natasha Romanoff looks up from the paper kid’s menu she’d been studying. Her eyebrow, dyed blonde, is raised. “I was worried it’d be too effective.”

“You do realise Buzzfeed publishes weekly articles that are literally just blurry photos of you and the other rogues followed by a bunch of keysmashes?”

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Peter slides into the booth opposite her. “So you’re here to what, feel me out?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’ve already done that.” She sets the menu down. “I was already in the area. We’re both waiting for the ride.”

Peter nods. He looks out the window while she studies his face. He’d had no choice but to forego the mask seeing as his suit is still under repairs back in the lab. FRIDAY had said it wouldn’t be fixed until morning.

Natasha kicks his foot. “Why do you look younger than I remember?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “But hey, since we’re playing Q&A, why’d you stab Tony in the back?”

“I didn’t stab him in the back,” Romanoff argues. “I just… the Avengers are my family—”

“Tony’s part of the Avengers—”

“Tony has a support system. Steve is nothing without us—and I say that with love. Without his team he’d just be a sad old man stuck in time.”

“But now with you and your amazing makeover skills, he’s at least caught up to the seventies with that beard.”

She kicks him again. “Shut up. I don’t have to explain my reasoning to a kid.”

“So why are you?”

Romanoff squints and leans forward. “Why are you here?”

“Because if Tony knew that you needed help, he’d stop at nothing to save you no matter how much he hated your guts—which he doesn’t, by the way, he’s just really hurt—even if it meant putting his own life in danger. I don’t want that.” Peter shrugs. “Plus you were pretty cool last time and I thought we could be, I don’t know, friends or something. Whatever, it’s stupid.”

Her lip quirks up. “It’s not stupid.”

“Really? So you’ll be my spider buddy?”

Natasha rolls her eyes. “Think of a better name first and then we’ll see.”

He opens his mouth to retort, but right at that moment the door to the Taco Bell chimes and Steve Rogers walks in.

“Oh wow,” Peter whispers. “The beard really does work for him.”

“Right?” She grabs his arm. “Come on, little spinner.”

—

Steve is not at all pleased at how young Peter is.

“I dropped a jet rail on a kid,” he proclaims for the upteenth time, knuckles white around the steering wheel.

“Yeah, a kid that can lift fifteen tons on a bad day,” Peter snaps back, a little irritated now. He finishes strapping on the kevlar gear Natasha had provided him with. It’s bulkier than what he’s used to, but better than no protection at all.

“I dropped a jet rail on a kid.”

Natasha reaches out. “Steve—”

“I DROPPED A JET RAIL ON A KID!”

“I’m FINE!” Peter shouts back, the only one in the van besides Barnes that doesn’t flinch.

“You’re eight!” Steve retorts. “You don’t even know what fine is!”

Peter closes his eyes. “Oh my god.”

“Steve, he’s enhanced,” Natasha reminds him, the only voice of reason. “Tony never would have brought him if he didn’t think Parker could handle it—”

Peter’s eyes snap back open. “How do you know my last name?”

“What did I say about how I’d already felt you out?”

“That sounds… so much worse than the way you mean it.”

“See?” Natasha pats Steve’s arm. “He’s already making dirty jokes. He’s fine.”

Steve is silent for a few seconds. Then he shakes his head. “We have to take him back.”

“What?!” Peter demands. “No! You need my help!”

“I need Tony’s help!”

“I can literally do anything Tony can,” Peter proclaims, and then pauses. “Probably.”

“That’s real reassuring,” Wilson pipes up from a few feet over.

“No one asked you,” Romanoff hisses.

Wilson rolls his eyes. “I’m just saying, Steve’s got a point. Look at this little twink. Have you seen him? He’s like two feet big.”

“I’m literally sitting right here,” Peter says. “And I wasn’t kidding when I said I can lift fifteen tons.”

“No,” Steve decides. “You’re too small.”

“Oh, are you shitting me?!” Barnes explodes. “Steve, you were a five foot tall asthmatic when you enlisted!”

“That was a different time!”

“It’s just a little stealth mission,” Barnes says. “The kid can pin my arm down. Even you can’t do that.”

Steve frowns. “You can pin his arm down?”

Peter takes a deep breath. “I’ll say it one more time: fifteen tons.”

Another pause.

“Fine,” Steve says. “Fine, Jesus Christ. But if he dies—”

“You’ll blame yourself like you always do,” Natasha finishes for him with a dry look.

Rogers sighs. “Yeah. Probably.”

—

Tony jolts awake at precisely four AM.

The first thing he sees is pizza.

It’s two inches from his face and disgustingly congealed. He pushes it away as he raises his head, and then notices a second thing: Peter is gone.

“Um… FRIDAY?”

“Yes Boss?”

“Where’s the kid?”

“He left approximately two and a half hours ago on urgent business.”

Tony’s eyes narrow. That stinks. Like, a lot. “Urgent business? He’s twelve.”

“I was only able to catch his half of the phone conversation—”

“Oh, well then just trace the call or whatever.”

“I’m afraid the phone he used isn’t advanced enough for that.”

Tony stiffens. He doesn’t want to look, but turns around anyway, eyeing his jacket. Slowly he grabs it and feels around in the pockets. “It’s gone.”

“What’s gone?”

“What do you think?! The phone! The little rectangular piece of garbage Rogers FedExed to me with the worst apology note of all time!”

“Oh, that.”

Tony freezes. His eyes close briefly. Then they seek out the nearest of FRIDAY’s cameras. “You didn’t wake me up, darling.”

“No,” she replies, almost sheepish.

“Whyever not?”

“Peter and I both agreed that the best thing for you would be for you to sleep as long as possible—”

“I don’t CARE what’s best for ME!”

He takes a minute to fume. Then he starts moving. “Is he wearing his watch?”

“Yes, Boss.”

“Fantastic, showstopping, incredible,” Tony slaps the housing unit on his chest. “Open the pod bay doors, would you?”

—

Peter is kind of kicking ass.

Like, not to brag or anything, but he’s taken down six HYDRA agents so far and for once hasn’t had to ask for help. He’s holding his own.

Maybe it’s something to do with being part of a whole unit. They move around each other, they fight as one; there’s a boost to the normal amount of adrenaline Peter feels in the midst of a fight. He knows that if he gets kneed in the chest and goes down for a second, Barnes is gonna swoop in and break a jaw with his metal arm. Likewise, Wilson knows that if he gets thrown back into the wall with that weird glowy laser gun, Peter is gonna web the HYDRA soldier up and subdue the threat.

It’s… kind of awesome.

They’ve split up, for the most part. Maximoff, Rogers, and Romanoff are working through the east wing while Peter, Barnes, and Wilson slowly carve their way through the west.

“Could use a little bit of backup,” Wanda says through the comms, in a rasping, out of breath voice.

Peter taps his ear. “Where are you?”

“Second floor, third room,” she reports.

Peter doesn’t waste any time. He shoots a web for the roof of the atrium and swings across the wide open space that separates the two halves of the building. He’d calculated the distance just right and hurtles straight into Wanda’s attacker.

“Thanks,” she huffs.

Peter shrugs, wiping Dilapidated Building Dust off of his suit. “Hey, no problem.”

“You know, they’re all hypocrites.”

Peter pauses. “What?”

“I was nineteen when we went to Germany. My powers just happened to be more convenient for their needs.”

“I, uh—oh.”

She slips past him. “I’m not saying they’re not good people. I’m just saying that when it comes to winning, sometimes morality goes out the window. In that way… Sometimes I think Stark might have had the right of it.”

Before he can really process that, Peter reaches out and grabs her wrist. She scowls. “What?”

“Two agents, twenty feet away and gaining.”

“How can you tell?”

“Heartbeats.”

To his surprise, she grins. “I’m not going to lie, that would come in handy a lot with the work we do.”

“Well, you know where to find me. Wanna trip em Suite Life style?”

“What?”

“Nothing, just follow my lead.”

—

When Rogers’ fist collides with the last agent in the base, and Peter and Romanoff have extracted all of the information she needed off of HYDRA’s underground databases, Wilson says, “Do your thing, Wanda.”

She nods. “Everyone clear out.”

Peter doesn’t question it too much. He follows Barnes’ lead outside. The base, disguised as a factory, is in the middle of the Jersey woods—so there’s no one around to watch Wanda’s hands glow red and for the building to collapse inward.

“Cool,” Peter breathes.

“Destroying buildings can be fun when it’s on purpose,” Wanda tells him, somewhat bitterly.

Peter frowns. “That wasn’t your fault.”

“Tell that to Stark.”

“He doesn’t think—”

“Tell me what?”

Peter’s blood runs cold. He doesn’t want to turn around, but he does anyway; slowly so as to delay his inevitable demise. Tony is hovering about feet behind them all with his faceplate down.

“Oh,” he says stupidly. “Hey.”

The plate lifts.

Tony does not look happy.

“Hello.”

“It’s uh… fancy seeing you here?”

“Oh, don’t try to be cute with me.” Tony drops down onto the ground. “How about you save me the heart attack by telling me what in God’s name you’re doing out in the middle of nowhere at four in the fucking morning—and you left with them of all people when I specifically asked you not to!”

Peter opens his mouth. Then he closes it and averts his eyes. “They needed… help.”

“Oh, they needed help,” Tony shakes his head. “You need help. Psychiatric help.”

“Hey, lay off the kid man,” Wilson pipes up. “He was just—”

“Excuse me?” Tony puts a hand to his ear. “What? I must be mishearing, it sounded like you were butting into a conversation that has nothing to do with you by defending the poor decision making of a sixteen year old kid who has a math test in four hours!”

Peter blinks. He’d forgotten about that. “Okay, you’ve got a point there—however, I’d like to present to the jury evidence piece six-hundred and five: my completely uninjured body!”

Tony opens his mouth. Then it snaps shut again. Opens again; “Just wait until Aunt May hears about this.”

Peter’s eyes widen. “Are you crazy?! She’ll kill us both!”

Tony hesitates. “You might have a point—but that doesn’t change the fact that this was incredibly reckless and stupid! You can’t just run off willynilly without even informing your parents—”

“Willynilly?” Peter interrupts, instead of PARENTS?!

“Enough! You’re grounded!”

Natasha steps forward. “Tony—”

“From what,” Peter challenges, ignoring her.

Tony sputters. “Uh, your suit, Karen, TV, that board game—”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know what Dungeons and Dragons is called.”

“The name of the game is irrelevant,” Tony snaps. “Two weeks. Maybe three if you piss me off any more on the way home.”

“Don’t tell me you expect me to like, latch onto your suit.”

“And put you in more danger?! Fuck no! Happy’s waiting in the SUV.”

Peter sighs. He turns to the others. “Well, it’s been fun. Thanks.”

Steve Rogers blinks. “Uh, yeah. You did good, kid.”

Tony holds up a hand as Peter tries to pass him. He’s squinting at Steve, but seems to decide he doesn’t want to speak to the other man. He zeroes in on Natasha. “He did good?”

“Damn good,” she replies. “We could use him.”

Tony throws his head back and laughs. “Fucking hilarious! Think again! I swear to God, if I catch any of you heathens near my kid again and you’ll be dead before my feet hit the ground. Kid, go to the car.”

“Tony—”

“No. Car.”

—

“What the hell, Rogers.”

“Tony—”

“No! This is not the part where you speak.” Tony takes a second to remember to breathe because his heart is still pounding and there’s red on the edges of his vision. “I meant what I said. Stay away from my kid.”

“Tony, he’s stronger than you’re giving him credit for—”

“Nope! Nope! No!” Tony blasts off before he has to listen to any more.

—

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Peter meets Happy’s eyes through the rear view mirror. Glaring, he slowly buckles his seatbelt.

“That’s more like it. So, did you have fun?”

Peter slouches. “Am I even allowed to say yes?”

“No.” Happy shrugs. “But hey, if it’s any consolation—”

Peter never gets his consolation; the car door swings open and Tony slips inside. Before he can even get a word in, he’s being pulled into Tony’s arms. The older man’s heart is hammering against his chest.

“Kid—”

“I’m sorry,” Peter blurts. “Really. I know I shouldn’t have gone, I just… I wanted to help.”

“I know.”

He breathes out. “They didn’t mean to—”

“Leave them out of it.”

“But I went along with it—”

“Peter,” Tony says, and then sighs. “Just… that can’t happen again, okay? Promise me?”

Peter wishes he meant it when he says, “Yeah, I-I promise.”

The drive home is quiet, but Tony lets Peter fall asleep on his shoulder, and when they get back to New York they stop at his school so he’s not late for his test.

And everyone sees who’s in the car when Peter gets out.

Kind of makes up for being grounded, if you ask him.

[nothingbutfangirlsmut]

The Girl Out of Time

Pairing: Bucky x Reader and Sam x Reader

Background: Willow Roffe was born and raised in Brooklyn. She lived her life as happily as she could with her two childhood best friends Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. When they both left her to join the military she tried to continue with life but that didn't get to happen for her for the simple fact that she meant something to James Buchanan Barnes.

Rating: Story will be overall MATURE but not every chapter. There will be strong language, talk of both mental and physical abuse, some good ole angst, and smut. There will be a warning at the beginning of the chapter when it includes smut.

Chapter 32

Tony had started to shake next to me. He was livid and I couldn't blame him. I would be too if I was him. He lunged for James but Steve was quick to grab him. I just stood staring at the now blank screen.

"No, Tony" Steve whispered.

"Did you know?" Tony asked quietly turning to face Steve.

"I didn't know it was him." Steve said simply.

I could see the lie in Steve's eyes. Apparently so could Tony.

"Don't bullshit me, Rogers! Did you know?" He shouted in Steve's face.

"Yes" Steve sighed.

Tony took a shocked step back. I knew right before it happened that this was going to be bad. I could see the crazed look in Tony's eyes. The next second he hit Steve so hard it sent him flying backwards. I knew that he had turned to James but I kept my focus on Steve. I ran to him dropping to my knees in front of him.

"What do we do?" I whispered.

"Don't let him get Bucky." Steve groaned as he got to his feet.

Steve didn't hesitate to throw his shield hitting Tony in the back of the Iron Man suit. Tony knock Steve back again then pushed a button on his suit causing a device to come out and wrap around Steve's ankles. I was frozen in shock as Tony grabbed James and lifted him into the air.

"He didn't have control. It wasn't him." I told myself harshly.

I knew that fact but watching him do it with my own eyes was something I will never erase. Just as Steve breaks his shackles a shot is fire that causes part of the building to start collapsing. Steve runs trying to get to James as the crumbling building separates the three men.

"Get out of here! Willow! Go with him!" Steve shouts at the two of us.

I force my legs to move. I jumped over the rubble landing right behind James as he turned to corner. I was hot on his heals. We run into another large room where James punches a button on the wall. The ceiling all the way at the top of the room started to open revealing a snowy blue sky.

"Come on doll we gotta climb." James says as he grabs onto the closest ledge.

I don't hesitate to follow him. He's climbing fast trying to reach the top and I'm right behind him following his lead.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." James says as we climb.

"Not your fault" I tell him.

"No, but still. I coulda went a millenium without you ever seeing that." He spoke in a strained voice.

We climbed another ledge. This time he stopped and waited for me to be beside him before he spoke again.

"You probably think horribly of me now. I don't blame ya but all I ever did was try to protect you." The look in his eyes was enough to shatter my heart.

I leaned forward grabbing his face then pulled him to me. His lips crashed against mine in a desperate, panicked kiss.

"Nothing would ever make me look at you horribly." I whispered.

"We should keep moving." He said softly.

I nodded as he started to reach up to the next ledge. Before I even touched the metal Tony came out of no where kicking James hard. He fell down several ledges landing with a thud.

"Jamie!" I scream about to jump down to him.

Tony moves to blast James but Steve is between them with his shield. A breath a quick sigh of relief as I move to help James back up.

"He's not gonna stop. Go. Both of you." Steve said glancing between us.

Steve moved to keep Tony busy as the two of us continued upwards towards the opened ceiling. I could hear the fight below us but I forced myself to keep my eyes forward. Keep moving. Keep climbing.

"Almost there doll." James panted.

He was one ledge ahead of me. He grabbed the top of the opening starting to pull himself out as an explosion went off to his right. The opened part of the ceiling groaned then fell back down with a crash and a strong gust of wind that knocked both of us back down all those ledges. I hear James land with a thud and a groan but I'm still falling. When I do land everything goes black.

Every bone in my body feels broken when I come to. I groan forcing my eyes open. The sight in front of me has me Sitting up straight instantly. All thought of pain and injury gone. James is on the ground several feet away from me. His metal arm blown off. Steve and Tony are throwing punches at each other. This is insane.

Tony lands a nasty punch sending Steve to the ground. I try to pull myself to my feet but I only fall back down. Steve sets up on his knees between Tony and James. His face is bloody and he's panting.

"He's my friend." Steve says in exasperation.

"So was I." Tony said coldly.

I force myself to my feet as Tony picks Steve up then throws him against the wall. The captain groans as he body crumbles to the floor.

"Stay down. Final Warning." Tony warns him.

I take a step forward but my legs go wobbly and my vision blurs. I drop to my hands and knees. I blink barely making out the blue outline staggering to his feet.

"I can do this all day." Steve says weakly.

Tony steps back putting his red metal covered foot right in front of my blurry eyes. I reach out and grab him then give a hard tug. He's distracted turning around to look between me and James trying to figure out which one did it. Steve lunges grabbing Tony then throwing him hard to the ground. I crawl over to James' blurry figure on the ground.

"You alright?" I ask softly.

"Could be better." He hisses.

I hear a loud breaking noise then a grunt and a groan. I turn my head trying to blink away my blurry vision. It doesn't work. From what I can tell the fighting stopped. A few seconds later a dark blue figure rose to his feet. The scraping of metal told me he had picked up his shield. He stepped over to us. He helped James and me to our feet grabbing both of us around the waist. He started to walk away guiding both of us with him.

"That shield doesn't belong to you. You don't deserve it. My father made that shield!" Tony shouted from behind us.

Steve stopped walking. There was a sound of metal clattering to the ground then we were walking again. He had dropped the shield. He gave it up. What has happened to us?

Steve gets us back to our seats on the jet as my eyes finally start to clear. I keep blinking over and over trying to clear them. When they are clear again Steve is kneeling in front of me.

"There's something I gotta do real quick then we will find a place to get you two patched up." Steve told me softly.

"I'm fine Steve but he definitely needs it." I said nodding to James.

There were light footsteps then Steve was on his feet.

"I might know a place." A familiar thick accent said.

I turned in my seat to see T'challa in his Black Panther suit, all but the mask.

"I heard you inside. I know your friend didn't kill my father. I can help him. My people can help him." T'challa explained.

Steve and T'challa shook hands before the king departed out jet. He was waiting on us to clear out so he could inform Ross he'd caught the real bad guy. Steve didn't tell me where we were going until we had been flying over nothing but ocean for several minutes.

"Sam and the others are locked up out here. We gotta get them out." He said softly.

I immediately agreed with him. He had me take control so he could slip in and out of the prison as quick as possible. I kept the jet running and ready to go. When he returned he had Sam and Wanda. I didn't question him about the others. I knew there had to be a good reason he'd leave them behind.

When we entered Wakanda I was in total shock. This was nothing like what we'd been told. It was just suppose to be a country of farmers but clearly there was a bit more going on. Steve landed the jet right outside what looked like a palace.

"You two stay here. We won't be long." Steve ordered Sam and Wanda.

They both nodded. I stepped over to Sam then hugged him tightly.

"God, its good to see you." I smiled up at him.

"You too beautiful." He said with a charming smile.

"We'll be back." I told him then ran off to catch up with Steve.

I accompanied James into the room to see the doctor while Steve waited in the hall. James sat on the table while that man looked over everything, not just her metal arm.

"Doc, could I ask you something?" James asked suddenly.

"Sure" the man said nodding.

"Do you have the technology to put me back under? Freeze me?" He asked glancing over at me nervously.

A young woman suddenly appeared next to me making me jump.

"Why would you want to do that Sergeant Barnes?" She asked him.

"Give you time to figure how to get this Hydra shit outta my head." He said with a pained expression.

The woman shrugged.

"We can put you back in stasis if that's what you wish. I can work on some brain technology to help you when you next come out." She told him with a told.

"Good, do it" he nodded at her.

"Wait, are you serious?" I asked him stepping forward.

"Sorry doll, but I think we both know it's for the best." He said softly.

I didn't know what to say so instead I left the room. Out in the hall I told Steve what had just happened. He hugged me tightly but I wasn't as upset as I thought I would be. I already knew what I was going to do. What I had to do. This time everything would be different. The two of us walked back into the room just as the doctor and the young woman walked away from James.

"You sure about this?" Steve asked James.

"I can't trust my own mind. So, until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head, I think going back under is the best thing. For everybody." James explained.

"You want to go tell the others? I'll be right behind you." Steve suggested.

I chuckled softly making both men look at me in confusion.

"Sorry Stevie, I'm not going anywhere." I told him shaking my head.

"What are you talking about?" James asked.

"I'm not leaving you. I don't care how long it takes. I'm gonna stay right here. I'll help them if I can but I'll be here by your side. I'll be here when you wake up. I'm not gonna let you be alone. Not again. Not ever again." I told him grabbing his hands and squeezing reassuringly.

The small smile that appeared on James' face warmed my soul. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. I stood next to Steve as they put him inside the chamber. We watched through thick glass.

"Will you tell Sam I'm sorry?" I asked Steve softly.

"You know I will." He nodded.

"Call me when you can. I'll keep you updating on everything." I told him.

He nodded then kissed the top of my head. A few seconds later he was gone. I was left standing in front of the glass watching James be frozen once again. But it's okay. This is not the end. When he wakes up we'll have his fix for the brain washing and I'll be here to help him through it. This time we can do things right. Live out a peaceful life here. A peaceful life with James Barnes.

—

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Leave No One Behind Ch 1: You Gotta Have A Plan

Co-Written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Chapter Summary: After returning from Sudan following their arrest, Sam and Ari go their separate ways…but Ari just can’t let things go. He needs a plan to break the refugees he left in the camp out. And he comes up with a plan so ridiculous that it just might work. That is, if he can pull together the right team.

Unfortunately he knows that the 2 people he probably needs and wants there the most, are going to be the toughest to convince. After all, they are siblings…

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings:  Ari Levinson x OFC Hannah Horowitz

A/N: Now, we believe from what research and reviews tell us, that RSDR takes place basically between 1979 and 1982 (the real Operation Brothers upon which it is based upon ran until 1984). To keep this as historically factual as possible, we have done all the research we can find on Mossad, the history of the Jewish people in the 40s through 80s…the rest is purely down to our imagination.

If anything is factually wrong, we mean no offence. Chalk it down to slight creative license and take this for what it is- a work of fiction.

Before you continue, we recommend you read this to introduce the ‘cast’- Leave No One Behind: Meet the Characters

Also Tags will be done by reblogs as Tumblr seems to, once again, have been taken over by Hydra and isn’t giving everyone notifications.

Leave No One Behind Masterlist  Main Masterlist 

Chapter Song: Across the Universe by the Beatles

“Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes, that call me on and on across the universe…”

March 1979

Ari Levinson was a man who very rarely liked to sit still. He’d been the same as a boy, always needing to be doing something. And right now, even in a dark, sweaty, smelly cell in Sudan he was no different. Using the bars in the roof that gave them the only light and air into the area, he was doing pull ups, counting his way up to 100. When he finished his reps he dropped down with a sigh and made his way over to sit by Sammy who was leaning against the wall.

Ari glanced over at his friend, his fellow agent who simply looked at him without saying a word, and then looked away, both of them glancing up as Kabede, their in-country contact so to speak, walked over and sat besides Sammy.

“I heard the guards talking.” he said softly in his thick, African accent as Ari sat, his arms hanging over his knees. “They think we are smugglers. We need to get out of here.”

“Mr. Guy Thomas.” one of the guards called. All 3 of them exchanged a look, before Ari stood up and made his way to the cell door.

“You called?” he asked.

“You, and your friends…” the guard said, gun slung over his shoulder “You come with me…”

They did as they were told and were ushered into a small room, where they were unceremoniously handed their gear and told they were free to go. Ari did nothing but smile at Sammy, who rolled his eyes, because it was a knowing joke between everyone who ever ran a mission with Ari that he could fall in pig shit and come out smelling like roses.

Ari fished a packet of cigarettes out of his back pack, along with his shades and slipped them onto his eyes. He slung his bag over his shoulder and walked out into the sun, lighting his cigarette as he went. He paused for a moment, looking at the man who was leaning against a blue car, watching him. He jerked his head and Ari stepped towards him.  

“And you are?” Ari asked, eyeing him up.

“I'm the reason you're out of there.” The man said, pushing himself off the car. Ari exchanged a look with Sammy as the man continued “Walton Bowen, American.”

“No shit.” Sammy said, his eyes still on the man as Ari shook his hand.

“Yeah?” Walton looked at him before he moved to shake his hand too “Cultural attaché, the embassy in Khartoum.”

“Oh. Well, you must have your hands full, considering the flourishing cultural scene in Sudan.” Ari said, the sarcasm evident in his tone and Walton gave a little laugh.

“Not nearly as flourishing as you with your anthropology studies, I'm sure.” Walton said, his voice level but Ari could detect the note of disbelief he carried. “We got a call from DC, you gents had gotten yourselves into a bit of a pickle.”

As Ari kept his eyes on the man and his face straight, besides him Sammy pointed

“Is that our stuff in the back of your car?”

Ari looked at Sammy then round to the car as Walton nodded.

“Yes, it is.  I'm sorry about the hasty packing…” he said, gesturing to the car “…but I know you have a flight in less than five hours to London.”

Ari snorted, shaking his head a little. Of course we do, damned it Ethan.

“Where are you off to after that, boys?” Walton continued.

Ari didn’t reply, instead he chuckled, and turned from the man, walking over to where Kabede was stood a few feet away.

“Looks like they're calling me back. Are you gonna be okay?” Ari asked

“Yes” Kabede assured him “I will bring more families.”

“We'll find a better way.” Ari nodded, giving the man a friendly embrace, patting him on the back before he turned around and walked back towards Walton and Sammy.

“Hope you got my toothbrush…” he said, not stopping as he passed them both and made his way to the car. “It’s new.”

After a few hours layover in London, they were called to a desk and given tickets for a flight back to Isreal for an hour later.  Ari fell asleep before the taxi down the runway had even finished and awoke a few hours later, stretching and ordering himself a beer. Before much longer the plane began it’s descent into Ben Guiron Airport and Ari let out a sigh. He knew he should be glad to be home, but he wasn’t. He hated leaving a job half done. But he wouldn’t deny he was looking forward to a shower. He felt disgusting, looked disgusting, smelt disgusting. Thank fuck Ethan had the sense to book an entire row out for him and Sammy each.

They cleared customs easily and were met by a driver who waved them over to a car.

“Home?” The man asked Ari as he took his bags from him to take them to the trunk. .

“Office.” Ari corrected, as he wrenched open the passenger door of the car. “You coming?” he asked Sammy as he sat down.

“Nah. Nah, I'm going back home.” Sammy looked at him.

“What?” Ari said, frowning as he got back out, leaning on the roof of the car.

“Back to the clinic.” Sammy said with a small smile.

Ari looked around, before he shut the door and walked over to Sammy, his mouth open in surprise.

What the hell are you talking about?” he asked gently.

“I called Ethan back in London, got a message to Hannah. She’s picking me up.” Sammy said taking a deep breath “I'm done.”

Sammy moved to pull Ari into an embrace, which Ari returned, albeit it a little half- heartedly as he was still reeling from Sammy’s revelation.

“Why?” he asked, patting Sammy on the back.

“I love you, man.” Sammy said, pulling away “You're a lucky guy. But when the luck runs out, then...  you gotta have a plan, and you never have one. So... I'm out. “

Sammy looked around.

“You're out?” Ari said flatly, his eyebrows raising.

“I'm out.”

“Sammy.” Ari said gently as Sam turned away. He paused and turned to face Ari again, smiling.

“Goodbye, my friend.”

Sam quickly walked away down towards the pick-up area outside the terminal, as Ari called his name again, a little louder, but he ignored him.

Ari sighed and looked upwards, wiping a hand over his face before he glanced at Sam’s retreating back just in time to see a flurry of dark, wavy hair rushing towards him. Ari continued to observe from a distance as Sammy hugged his sister back, her face pressed into the side of his neck, Sammy gently rubbing at her back. When he finally let her go, Ari finally got a look at her and he had to smile. The last time he had seen Hannah had been almost 3 years ago, at her husband Andy’s funeral and Ari was pleased to see she looked better than she had that day. Her hair was longer, her cheeks were fuller again, no longer hollow with grief. Her skin was darker, more tanned...she looked healthy, back to her vivacious self along with, he hoped, that spark that bounced in her deep blue eyes, Eyes he knew so well.

He had first met Hannah through Sammy when she was 17, and he was 24. He had liked her from the off, despite being 7 years older than her and there’d been a spark, there was no denying that. But for various reasons, despite a 3 month long sort of fling, it hadn’t worked out. He’d backed off, instead admiring her from afar, constantly telling himself he was too old and no good for her, and then he had met Sarah. Their relationship at first had been based on total, physical attraction and had been a total whirlwind. They had married later that same year after discovering Sarah was pregnant, Ari wanting to do the right thing by her. Their daughter Maya was born 7 months later and for the first 4 years, he had to admit he’d been happy.

Meanwhile, Hannah had started dating another one of their agents and friends, Andy Horowitz.  They’d married too and then sadly mere months after they had married Andy had been killed on a mission they’d been running some 3 years ago, a mission Ari had been in charge of.

Hannah said she didn’t blame Ari, but he’d seen it written on every inch of her pretty face. She’d hardly been able to look him in the eyes since Andy’s death, and as a result he had made no effort to reach out in the 3 years since Andy’s funeral. Which he knew was a selfish, shitty thing to do on his behalf, as they’d all been so close, family close even, but Hannah had always worn her heart on her sleeve and he couldn’t face the turmoil and heartbreak she was emanating.

Sammy assured him she didn’t hold him at fault, not really and that she was just upset, compounded  by the fact she hadn’t been there and was only hearing everything 2nd hand. But still, it did nothing to assuage Ari’s guilt. Andy’s life cut so tragically short, and Hannah left widowed at such a young age…

The driver’s voice shook Ari out of his thoughts, and when his eyes focussed again he realised he was staring at nothing. Hannah and Sammy both long gone. With a nod to the man he climbed back in the car and they set off for HQ.

**** "You're pissed." Sammy told his sister, his eyes fixed on the road ahead.

Hanna didn't answer. She stared at the license plate of the car right before them as if it was the magic combination to some sort of treasure chest. She was avoiding looking at her brother. Of course she was pissed, that was out of the question, but she didn't want to discuss that in the middle of the early evening exasperating traffic. Why was the way out of the airport always so crammed with cars?

Sammy turned to look at her and read the signs like an open book. White knuckles from the intensity with which her hands where holding the steering wheel, furrowed brow and a twitch of the mouth where she was biting the inside of her right cheek. He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You are pissed. I can tell, Hannah."

"No, I'm not" she replied trying to sound as convincing as possible and hit the car horn three times. "Oh, come on! We all have places to be!"

"Yes, you are. And honking the horn while in a traffic jam won't get you anywhere quicker, you know that?" Sammy said raising an eyebrow at her sudden outburst.

"No, it won't. But it will keep me from slapping you across your stupid face." she bit back, admitting her irritation.

"Ok." Sammy said preparing for what was about to come slouched on the passenger seat "What's on your mind?"

"Damnit, Sammy. You know full well what's on my mind. You know perfectly fucking well." she hissed without even bothering to look at him.

He sighed and nodded as an only answer. Avoiding his sister's gaze, he turned and looked through the passenger window.

"Yet, there you go again." she resumed after a minute, once she had steadied her voice and swallowed the lump in her throat. "Getting yourself arrested. You could have been killed right there on the spot! I just ...."

"Hey…" Sammy said gently rubbing her thigh "It’s ok. I'm ok, right?"

Hannah nodded and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. There were a few minutes of silence in the car as the traffic resumed and Sammy waited patiently for his sister to get herself together before speaking.

"I spoke to Ethan from London, told him I'm out." Sam said.

"What?" Hannah asked surprised looking at her brother before rapidly turning her eyes to the road ahead.

"That last mission... it was just... I'm done. Can't do it anymore." Sam fumbled with the words while he rubbed the scars on his right hand with his left one.

Hannah looked at her brother again, before she sighed, concern flooding her system.

"What happened Sammy?"  she asked, her tone soft “It must be something bad to make you want to leave it all behind.”

"Nothing. Don't worry about it. It's just… I'm tired of all that shit and need to get out, that's all." Sam replied trying to convince his sister and, most importantly himself, it was the right decision.

The sight of that woman letting herself drown in the river had taken a toll on him. It haunted him at night and whenever he closed his eyes. He could have done more, he should have saved her, he should have found her under that muddy water and swum with her to safety. But he hadn't been able to and he didn't want to go into another mission where he would lose lives instead of saving them.

"So, what's the plan?" Hannah asked a moment later trying to snap her brother out from the place he seemed to be lost in.

"The plan is getting home, have a shower, eat something decent and sleep till the new full moon." Sam deadpanned with a faint smile.

"I’d also consider a haircut." Hanna quipped smiling at him. "That mop doesn't suit you, neither does the moustache!"

"Yeah, well. Not much you can do when you're down there and under for six weeks." Sam stated before he smiled at her "You, on the other hand, look great, Han"

"Well, that's what you get when you shower and wash your clothes. You stink." she said winking at him and he laughed.

"Seriously though, what are you gonna do? “ Hannah asked him after a moments pause “You gotta have a plan."

"That's exactly what I told Ari..." Sammy shrugged and Hannah’s head whipped once more to look at him.

"Ari?" she asked double checking her brother "Was Ari on the mission with you? Actually, don’t bother answering because of course he was..." she trailed off.

"That reckless, lucky son of a bitch who never seems to have a back-up plan." Sam said before lighting a cigarette. “He was there alright.”

"I'd say the man without a plan has some things very well planned." she mused while tapping the steering wheel with her fingers.

"Yeah, well, as I told him I wanna go back to the clinic. If that's ok with you, that is."

"Of course it is Sam. It's our clinic, remember? And we could do with your help, in fact, it would be a blessing. We've been very busy lately." she said excited by the prospect of having her brother with her again. "Mum will be thrilled to hear that.” “How is she?” Sam asked.

“She’s ok.” Hannah said “I’ve been trying to get her to take it easy, consider retiring but…you know what she’s like.” Sammy snorted “Stubborn, opinionated, always thinks she knows best…that’s where you get it from.” Hannah merely raised her eyebrow and smirked a little. “I dare you to tell her that on Sunday…” “Sunday?” “Yeah, she hasn't told you yet but you're coming for lunch." Hannah smirked as Sammy rolled his eyes, smiling fondly “And she won’t take no for an answer.”

***** “Ladies and gentlemen. This afternoon, historic documents concluding the Treaty of Peace between the Arab Republic of Egypt and the State of Israel will be signed…” Ari could hear the reporter on the news growing louder as he strode through the Mossad HQ towards Ethan’s office.

“Is he in?” he asked Ethan’s secretary, not bothering to wait for an answer.

“Wait, don't go in there…”

“Thanks.” he said, ignoring her as he pushed the door open, giving a small annoyed huff of a laugh as he tossed his back pack to his left where it landed with a thud. He then made his way over to the decanter of scotch on the shelves to the right of the room, Ethan not even bothering to look at him from where he was leaning against his desk, his own tumbler in hand, watching the TV, dressed in a crisp black suit and white shirt as always, his tie impeccably knotted.

“The Prime Minister is about to sign the most important peace accord in our lifetime and he can't enjoy it because of some remote tribe of our people getting massacred on a continent no one cares about.” Ethan said a little emotively, his British accent crisp as ever as he took a sip of his drink.

“Well, maybe you should let me do my job instead of pulling me out.”  Ari said, picking up his drink and turning towards the couch at the side of the room.

“Your job includes getting arrested?” Ethan asked, as he stood up straight and turned off the TV. Ari sighed as he slumped on the couch, one leg bent with his foot resting on the low coffee table in front of him “Or is this just another by-product of you being reckless and totally out of control?” he looked at Ari for the first time  since he had walked into the room.

“Sudan. My god, Ari…” Ethan snorted angrily, picking up his decanter to top up the glass. “An enemy country in a perpetual state of... fucked-up-ness. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that hiding refugees in a refugee camp was a pretty brilliant idea.” Ari said simply with no trace of irony, as he scratched at an itch on his side before necked his liquor.

“And how do you propose to get them out of there?” Ethan looked at him.

Ari sighed and placed the empty glass on the side next to the phone “Still working on that.”

“This job pays in migraines.” Ethan shook his head as he crossed the room and topped up Ari’s glass. “You look like shit.” he said, pointing to him with the hand that held the decanter which he placed on the coffee table.

“Thank you.” Ari replied “Smell like shit, too. I was under for six weeks.” he reached for the now once again full glass as Ethan sat on a chair opposite him.

“How's Sarah?” Ethan asked.

Ari looked down, his finger tapping on the rim of the glass before he placed it back on the side and slumped down on the sofa again, his eyes focussing downwards on his thigh as it bent upwards in front of him, his hand hooking underneath it.

“She left me.”

“Your life's a mess.” Ethan stated and Ari simply raised his eyebrows in agreement “Well, maybe this is a blessing in disguise, then.”

“What is?” Ari asked, as Ethan took a drink. “Are you taking me off this?”

“Exfil is going to come up with some alternative plans for the Ethiopians.” Ethan said as Ari tipped is head back with a frustrated sigh, his hands flying out to his side. “Then we'll discuss with the boss how best to move forward.”

“Ethan, don't do that.” Ari pleaded sitting forward “You know those guys are morons, they're gonna waste months on plans that aren't viable.  Months that we don't have. You gotta send me back.”  

“Go home, take a shower, spend some time with the family.”  

“Ah Fuck!” Ari sighed, before his voice grew louder and he crossed his arms, taking on the tone and appearance of a sullen child “No.”  

“No?” Ethan looked at him “It's done, Ari. You're not going anywhere.”

And that was that. Ethan wasn’t for turning. In the end Ari had stormed out of the office, his mood darkening by the second, and it didn’t get any better when he arrived home to find the place dark, empty and a message from Sarah on the answer phone telling him she’d taken Maya to her parents place.

Her parent’s place in fucking New Jersey

“Spend some time with the family…” Ethan’s words rang around his head as he slumped on the bed, beer in hand looking at the now empty side of the closet that had contained most of Sarah’s clothes.

Yeah, chance would be a fine thing.

**** Ari spent the following days on a semi-comatose state. He kept strict grooming and feeding habits, which was something he quite enjoyed after six weeks of not being able to give much thought to it.  He also took care of the chores now that it was only him at the house and set up a work-out routine to keep his one-track mind occupied and allow himself to physically blow off some steam.

He was frustrated to say the least. Frustrated at being pulled out by Ethan, who wasn't even willing to reconsider his reinstatement for the time being. And frustrated on how, and it ached to admit, he missed his daughter. He had seen Maya last before leaving for Ethiopia and he had told her, and so had he thought at the time, he would come back home and spend all the time possible with her. But she wasn't there when he came back.

Surprisingly enough, he didn't miss Sarah or, at least, not in the way he should. He did miss spending time with his family or the feeling of having a family to get back to and Sarah was part of that family. And, to tell the truth, he had never been home in this house alone. And, though he was beginning to come to terms with the fact this was his life going forward, he wasn't sure if he liked it. But, on the other hand he was also relieved. Sarah and he had been strained and fighting for so long before he left for the mission that her leaving had almost been a relief.  And, in a sense, he was glad she had done it before he was the one who had to suggest that maybe they needed to concede things weren't working between them because, frankly, Ari Levinson was a chicken shit when it came to stuff like that

But what Ari wasn't was cut out for the mundane, office life. A couple of weeks later his mind was in a state of turmoil. He took a trip out to New Jersey for a few weeks under Ethan’s instructions where he spent some quality time with Maya and had a very frank discussion with Sarah. The papers she had left him to sign upon his return from Ethiopia were legal documents which would enter them both into a legal period of 2 years separation and upon the conclusion therefore a Divorce would be mutually agreed. There was no way back for the pair of them, and he was relieved that she felt the same way and signed the papers in presence of an attorney who assured him this was the easiest, least messy way to go about things. Sarah had also agreed to return to Tel Aviv at some point as she conceded that keeping Maya at the other side of the ocean wasn’t fair to him or her. But when that would be, she never said.

All in all he wasn’t feeling great when he returned to HQ at the end of April especially when he was told that Exfil had yet to come up with any decent sort of plan. He told Ethan, once again, that they were fucking morons but was told to steer well clear. But Ari had never been one to stay out of things, or pay any attention to his boss when he thought he knew better. Day and night the idea of getting the refugees out of that Sudanese refugee camp was still haunting him. He had to come up with something and it had to be as soon as possible, before those Exfil idiots fucked it up completely. So after weighing up the situation for week or so more, he decided to get on with it off radar. He knew the best way to get Ethan to hear him out would be coming up with a fool-proof plan-something so absurd, far-fetched if you will, that no one would suspect they were smuggling Jewish refugees out of Ethiopia.

So he did it by stealth, getting on with his normal duties of paper work and communicating with other Intelligence Operatives across the globe playing the co-ordination role Ethan had dumped him in and putting the final touches on the last mission reports he had been doing at Mossad Head Quarters. His day job so to speak.

The night times, however, well, they were his own. And he used them to do a bit of research of his own.

He tried not to be spotted when he went to the archives department and asked the assistant there for a specific microfilm. Last thing he wanted was Ethan or one of his subordinates sniffing he was up to something. At least not before he could flesh his plan out in order to give a proper presentation to Ethan.

And finally, after an arduous period of research and countless sleepless nights it came to him, one warm night at the end of June. He was examining one map of the area on the computer when he noticed the sea. They could do it, the answer had to be in the sea. Ari felt a sudden surge of optimism and started digging into the different possibilities for a way out through sea instead of land and a feasible cover. His smile reached his eyes when he spotted just what he was looking for and a hunch told him to go for it.

It took a few days for him to pull everything together and get what he needed, and contact the people he needed. Which was why, early one July morning he was pacing the Comms room, rubbing his beard nervously, ironically dressed in the same clothes he had been in a few days prior when the idea had originally occurred to him. It was funny now, how he didn’t have Sarah pecking his head about his outfits he simply donned his preferred casual clothing to the office, something his single friends at work seemed to do a hell of a lot. Speaking of which, he was feeling stressed out after a heated argument with his estranged wife over the phone earlier that day about him seeing Maya. She had kept her side of the bargain, returning to Tel Aviv, but as a result he’d moved out of the house, renting a two bed apartment not too far from what had been their family home. He’d had regular access and visits to his daughter, which had been fantastic, but tonight he’d been due to take Maya out for dinner. However, Sarah had changed her mind at the last minute, something to do with her work shifts and it being a school night. When he had pointed out that she didn’t give a shit about her school when she took her over to New Jersey for the best part of a month she’d simply called him an asshole and put the phone down. Unable to concentrate on anything he’d gone for a run and returned to the office when it was dark and most of the people had gone, to find there was still no communication waiting for him, to let him know if his plan was going to work.

And then, finally the fax from the Sudanese Tourist Board arrived and he knew he had a great plan. Now, he had to sell it to Ethan and it couldn't wait, despite the ungodly hour…

“Ethan! I have an idea.” Ari said as he climbed the stairs to Ethan’s apartment, backpack over his shoulder, his arms laden with rolled up maps and papers.

“It’s four o'clock in the morning.” Ethan said exasperatedly.

“It's a really good idea.” Ari assured him as he continued up the stairs. Ethan simply stood back as he entered his apartment “Do you always sleep in a silk robe?” Ari asked, turning to look at him before he headed into the living room. Ethan paused for a moment before he followed him in, shutting the door behind him.

Ethan listened patiently as he explained his plan, and for the most part simply nodded. When Ari finished, Ethan leaned back and smiled softly at him, his fingers drumming on the map Ari had spread over the table.

“You know what Ari…” Ethan said, a smile on his face “This is so ludicrous…it might just work…but you’ll need a good team.”

Ari smirked and handed Ethan another piece of paper, watching as his boss scanned down the names of the Agents and former Agents he had identified.

“This…” Ethan looked at him, shaking his head “This is not a team, it’s a recipe for disaster!”

“They’re the best of the best…” Ari shrugged.

"But the Navons?” Ethan looked at Ari, shaking his head in disbelief “You mean you want both of them? Seriously after everything that’s-?”

"Oh, no, my bad…” Ari said, cutting him off and reaching over and scribbling something on the paper as Ethan let out a sigh of relief before he looked up, his eyes twinkling as Ethan let out a groan as he spotted the correction Ari had made to the name. “She’s a Horowitz now..."

**** It took them a week to get all the details fleshed out to a point where Ethan was happy to take it to his superiors. Ari would have done it that same morning he had gone knocking on Ethan’s door but his boss had insisted on details and plans…something Ari wasn’t all that bothered by, preferring to work in the spur of the moment. Still, Ethan had insisted that he wouldn’t be able to sell the idea without answering questions, and had lectured him in great detail on the 5Ps, or 6 Ps in this case…

Proper preparation prevents piss poor performance…

He had to admit, however, Ethan had been right. As he began to spell out his ideas and plans to Isaacs, the Mossad Chief, he found himself being able to speak confidently, not just because he had conviction in his idea, but because he never once found himself lacking the ability to explain.

“The majority are coming in from Gondar and Tigray right there…” Ari said, leaning over from his chair to point at the map which was spread out on the desk. “But we can't land our planes anywhere near there.”

“Why?” Isaacs asked, looking at Ari from where he sat in his chair.

“Derg brought in the Russians and Cubans. It's limiting everyone's mobility. The chance of landing a plane without being noticed is non-existent.” Ari explained “The only way to get a substantial number out is by sea.”

“Ethiopia's practically landlocked.” Isaacs said, leaning forward and gesturing at the map.

Ari nodded in agreement, his hand rubbing at his beard before he looked at Ethan who was sat next to him in the other chair. Ethan inclined his eyes at Isaacs, instructing Ari to continue, so he did.

“But Sudan isn't.”

Isaacs paused from looking at the map and then glanced at Ari to Ethan and then back again.

“Seriously?”

Ari nodded.

Isaacs leaned back. “Something tells me this is going to take a bit longer than a few hours to explain…”

Ethan smiled a little and nodded “You could say that, yes.” “Ok…” Isaacs sighed, reaching for his phone “Let me make a few calls. I need to get my advisors down here…and food.” So that’s what he did. Ari found himself repeating various points again and again to different people as they headed in with various files, paper, pens…and he was getting a little frustrated as the night started to draw in. But he kept calm, taking his lead from Ethan who jumped in whenever he could sense Ari was starting to lose his cool a little, and Ari was thankful for the fact his boss was there.

“How long does it take to get from Sudan to Sinai by boat?” Isaacs asked.

“It takes three days.” Ethan began “You can…” “Just a-- Hold on a sec.” Isaacs said as Ari dropped his hands to his hips, leaning back against the large cupboard he was stood in front of. “Even if this could work, you'd need a team of agents on the ground. A team with international background.” Ethan and Ari exchanged a look, and both nodded at Isaacs as he continued “How are you gonna keep our agents  that long inside an enemy state?”

“This is where it gets really good.” Ethan said, nodding at Ari who pulled an aerial shot out of the pack of files he had brought with him. Ari handed it to Isaacs.

“Red Sea Diving Resort.  It's a hotel built by an Italian company in the early '70s.” Ari explained as he walked back to his leaning post, arms folded. “Fifty kilometres north of Port Sudan. The Italian company abandoned it five years ago.  Now the Sudanese government is looking to lease it, to boost tourism.”

The room fell silent as Isaacs looked at the photo, his expression perplexed which then morphed into surprise. He looked at Ari, how shifted a little uncomfortably, waiting for him to comment on the idea. Instead Isaacs stood up, and moved to his phone.

“Ask the Defence Minister if he can join us.” he said simply, and Ethan glanced at Ari, giving him a smile.

About twenty minutes later, the Defence Minister a Mr Henry Weiss joined them and listened carefully to what they had to say, Ari explaining once again what the outline of his plan was. It took him another hour, and it felt like he had been explaining this all day. Which, in reality, he had.

“Let me get this straight.” Weiss said, sitting on the edge of the desk as Isaacs sat in the chair behind hit, both hands behind his head as he was flanked by various other people from his agency, all of them watching Ari who was sat perched on another unit to Weiss’ right “You want Mossad, the Israeli intelligence service, to purchase an abandoned hotel from the Sudanese government.”

“Lease, but yeah.” Ari said, nodding, his hand curling around his chin and mouth in an L-shape.

“Abandoned because?”

“Because the area where it's located is lawless. It's controlled by the Hadandawa.” Ari said, and for the first time he started to feel a little less confident.

“By the who?” Weiss looked at him

“It's a Bedouin tribe.” Ari supplied.

“Translates, The Lion Clan” Tellem, one of the military agents stood around the room supplied “Known for cannibalizing their enemies.”

“No…” Ari quickly began to protest as Isaacs glanced at the military agent who had spoken. “That's...” he took a pause and looked at Ethan who shifted and stared at Ari. And Ari knew why, because he hadn’t told any of this to Ethan. “ No, that's... not anymore.” Ari folded his arms in front of him. “Now it's... human trafficking. -Girls to Jedda, that sort of thing—“

“This... just gets better and better.” Ethan looked at Ari.

“So, your idea, just to reiterate…” Weiss drew the attention back to him “Is to send a group of Jews to a Muslim country, to a place where they might get eaten by Bedouins, to run a fake hotel, in order to rescue a group of black Jews who might or might not survive a 1,000-kilometer walk across the desert, to be smuggled out to sea by Israeli Navy Seals to an Israeli ship.”

“Disguised as a petroleum service vessel, yeah.” Ari said, smiling slightly.  

“That's ridiculous.” Tellem said with a sigh.

There was silence around the room. Ari looked up, and could take no read on anyone’s body language. He locked eyes with Ethan who gave him a sympathetic look and he let out a breath shaking his head.

Back to the drawing board.

“Is NATCOR still operational?” Weiss asked suddenly as Ari stood up.

“Yep” Isaacs replied, his eyes on Ari.

“What's NATCOR?” Ari frowned, hands on his hips.

“It's a shore company in Switzerland we use for large transactions.” Isaacs said simply

“How large?” Ari asked, not sure what this had to do with anything.

“Like leasing a hotel.” Isaacs said.

Well, shit!

With a small smile, one that was more from shock than victory he looked at Ethan who eyed him appraisingly.

“How long do you need?” Weiss asked and looked at Isaacs.

“I can pull the strings in NATCOR in a week or so but I need to know how much we need and when for.” Isaacs said, and once again all attention turned to Ari and Ethan.

“We’ll need a couple of months to pull the team together, get everything organised…leasing agreements that sort of thing…” Ethan said, looking at Ari

“Give me 3 months.” Ari nodded in agreement. “Maximum.”

*****

It turns out that the Sudanese Tourism Board play hard ball. 6 weeks it took. 6 fucking weeks to negotiate a price and a timescale. Originally they’d been willing to lease the Diving Resort from the middle of March until, after agreement of a slightly higher price, they had brought the date forward to January. That was still too far away for Ari’s liking, but as Ethan had reminded him if they missed even one cross on a t or a dot on an I, they were done for.

Finally, at the end of August, they had ironed out every crease they could see, and the confirmation that they had been accepted to hire the abandoned resort came through. A week later, at the start of September, Ari left Tel-Aviv again to start his recruiting spree. First stop, a Pan Am plane with destination Belize.

He was having a coffee and tapping some stray sugar grains on the table surface with his index finger's pad absent-mindedly when his plane was called. His mind went to Maya as he waited in line, boarding pass in hand. He’d spent a lot of time with her over the last week, deliberately, and he knew she understood why he didn’t live with them anymore, but she hadn’t understood why he was going to be going away again. And then, on the last day before he left she had been especially quiet and brooding. Ari had tried to make small conversation with her but had failed and had opted to explain to his daughter why he had to go, as best as he could. She still hadn't reacted as Ari expected and he had to admit defeat. The final blow had come when he had asked Maya about the drawing he was holding of her family, a drawing he was absent from, and she had told her father he wasn't in the picture because he was at work. He hadn’t mentioned it to Sarah, it simply wasn’t worth the hassle.

"You've got to be kidding me" Rachel Reiter said to Ari with a chuckle as she stopped at the end of his row, trolley before her "What are you doing on this flight?" she added impersonating the perfect flight attendant.

"I'd like some tomato juice, please." Ari ordered with a smile.

She served him his tomato juice and sat on the free seat next to him. Ari explained to her he had pulled some strings to find out which flight she would be working. Not that Rachel needed to know. She was perfectly aware of what Ari was capable of and how Mossad worked. Thus, she explained the mission she was on, having scanned the briefcase of a passenger, a PLO accountant.

Ari spent the following five minutes explaining briefly what the mission he was attempting to recruit her for consisted of.

"Ex is in stable asshole condition. Kids are perfect." Rachel told Ari when he asked about her family.

"And you're ok leaving them for an unknown amount of time?" he asked waiting for the confirmation she was in.

"If we don't do something no one will" was what Ari replied Rachel after she asked him to give her a good enough reason to enrol. And that was more than enough, as she smiled and nodded imperceptibly.

"Tell me one last thing." Rachel said standing up and brushing her skirt. "Who's in Belize?"

"Excuse me?" Ari asked with a poker face.

"I know you Ari. I've been running small missions on flights for the past 5 months, they must have told you. And yet you have chosen exactly this one to come talk to me?" she said whispering as she leaned to grab the tray where the now empty glass of tomato juice lay.

"Wait and see Rachel." he said with a broad smile. "I'll be in touch soon."

*******

It was hot, very hot when, a day later Ari sat at a table in a beach bar in Half Moon Caye waiting for Jake to finish his private lesson. Not exactly a diving one.

"What brings the great Ari Levinson all the way to Belize?" Jake Wolf greeted Ari from the door of the decompression tank, wearing nothing more than a dazzling smile.

"I have a unique mission to offer you." Ari told him "But I'm not gonna offer you anything until you cover yourself up" he joked watching as Jake approached him, arms open to give him a hug.

Jake ignored his friend’s request and after brazenly taking a cigarette out of Ari's packet sat on the chair facing him. Ari explained to Jake that he needed someone with expertise and diving skills for a mission related to what in Jake's words was a bloody genocide no one gives a shit about because it's in Africa.

So when Ari told him that his Prime Minister had decided to give a shit, he was convinced he had gained Jake's adventurous spirit and he would be on board.

An hour and some beers later, Ari had explained to Jake the mission in detail and they both had caught up on their lives.

"Be ready to be called in in about a month give or take." Ari told Jake who nodded.

"Why don't you stay a couple of days? Look around you. This is paradise, my friend." Jake said a big grin and open arms pointing at the white sand beach and tropical palm trees.

"I have a flight tomorrow morning." Ari had to refuse his friend’s offer, implying he had still places to be and people to recruit.

"Where to?" Jake asked knowingly.

"Amsterdam." Ari answered before puffing his cigarette. “At least that’s where my next victim was last time I checked…”

Jake just nodded, a faint glimmer of a smile showing, before saying "Then, the night is young. Let's make the most of it before you leave."

******

"You fucked up my lunch, man" Max Rose told Ari after lowering the gun he was pointing at his former mentor.

A mixture of relief and annoyance crossed Max’s face as he waited for Ari to give an explanation as to why was he sat in his arm chair, in the middle of his rented flat in Amsterdam, reading the fucking newspaper with a stupid grin on his stupid face.

"I have a mission for you." Ari said.

"Of course, you have" Max scoffed before hugging him. "But you're buying me lunch if you want me to listen to you."

And that's what they did. Ari knew if you had to win Max over, it had to be around food. After explaining the mission and what Max’s role would be, Ari had one last question and he had deliberately saved it for last when he knew Max would already be on board.

"Max, I need to know you're fine with all this because I need you to be focused. Are you ready to go back down there after Andy?"

"Absolutely." Max said without hesitating. But Ari could see a glint of sadness in his eyes.

"Good." Ari said sympathetically "Then I guess I'll contact you in a month or so." Ari added before he raised his glass to toast for the mission.

***** 4 days later, just over a week after leaving, Ari was back in Tel-Aviv, having saved the discussion he knew was going to be the hardest until last.

He sat in the waiting room of the Ethan Navon Memorial Clinic, a place in which he hadn’t been for easily over 5 years, and was eventually ushered into the Examination Room where the nurse popped a thermometer under his tongue as he sat on the trolley, waiting.

“How can I help you Mr…Aw, fuck me!” Sammy groaned as he looked at Ari who gave him a cheeky smile “What the fuck?  What the fuck are you doing here?” he turned to his nurse “What the fuck is he doing here?”

“Hey, hey, just... Calm down.” Ari said gently, “I need to talk to you. Five minutes.”

Sammy tossed his file and glasses down on to the small equipment trolley and said something to his Nurse. She nodded, making a hasty exit and as Sammy went to close the door it stopped before he could shut it fully and swung fully open again, Hannah stepping into the room, frowning at her brother.

“Sammy? What's going on? I can hear you shouting all the way over in the other room? What’s the…” she trailed off as Sammy nodded towards Ari, her mouth falling open when she saw him “Fuck me…”

"Hey Hannah, how you doing?” Ari gave her a small smile. “You look great by the way."

And he meant it. Her hair was pulled back into a bun at the nape of her neck and she was dressed in a simple pencil skirt and blouse, her white doctors coat open.

"What do you want Ari?" she asked softly.

“It's a nice clinic you got.” Ari said, taking the thermometer out of his mouth, ”Save a lot of lives here?

“No. But we don't take any lives either.” Hannah shrugged as Ari took a deep breath, steeping his hands together.

“I know how to get 'em out, Sammy.”

Sam scoffed

“I got a plan.  And it's good.” Ari was almost whispering with excitement as he stood up off the bed.

“Yeah, that's...” Sam looked at his sister, laughing sarcastically “That's what you always say, until everything goes to shit.”

“Right, just hear me out. You don't like what I gotta say, I'm going.”  Hannah and Sammy both exchanged a look as Ari began to pull the documents and details out of his rucksack, standing on the other side of the examination bench.

“Ari…” Hannah began as she stepped forwards, but Sam gently touched her arm and he moved towards Ari, shaking his head.

“Ari, Ari…no…”

“What? You don't wanna hear the plan?”  Ari asked gently.

“Stop.” Sam instructed him.

“You don't wanna hear it? You'd rather be here than in the field?” Ari asked, disbelief in his tone as his voice grew louder.

“Shh!” Hannah instructed the pair of them as Sammy began packing the stuff back into Ari’s backpack for him.

“Why?” Ari pressed “You're the best field doctor I know.”

“I used to be.” Sam said gently “Back when I had two good hands.”  

“Hey, both hands tied behind your back, you're still the best.” Ari said honestly. Sam paused and looked at him for a second, before Ari took a deep breath. “I need you on this one….” he looked over Sammy’s shoulder and locked eyes with Hannah “Both of you.”

She frowned a little, her arms unfolding and dropping to her hips as she studied him.

“I can't do it without you.” Ari finished, diverting his attention back to Sam. Hannah watched her brother who paused for a moment, before he turned and walked past her, opening the door. He glanced back at Ari and said, quite forcefully.

“No.”

Hanna’s gaze dropped to the floor as Ari gave a small sigh “Alright…” and gathered up his belongings “Okay…” She looked up at him as he walked past, and he gave her a pleading look which she met with a passive one of her own as he gave her a sad smile, before he walked out, Sam avoiding his gaze as he did so.

The two siblings stood in silence for a moment before Hannah met Sam’s eyes.

“Oh no…” Sam groaned “Seriously…” “Can it hurt to hear him out?” She asked gently.

“Are you serious? For fucks sake…”Sam groaned. “You are, aren’t you?”

Hannah shrugged. Sam eyed his sister again and then rolled his eyes and his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Fine we’ll listen...” Sam said loudly, as he walked into the doorway, leaning out of it as Ari stopped and turned to face him “But only out of curiosity…because I'm still gonna say no.”  

Both siblings ushered Ari to Sam's office, Hannah leading the way. She opened the door to let both men in.

Ari could smell a familiar scent of vanilla when he walked past Hannah into the room and couldn't help but smile softly at her but she was staring at her feet and didn't notice. He tried to make eye contact with her as she helped Sammy to clear the small round table at the right far corner of the office, but to no avail. He could only catch a glimpse of her long eyelashes where the locks that had fallen off her bun allowed him to.

It was only when Sam asked him to do what he had to do that she raised her head from the table and her big blue eyes looked directly at his, stopping there for a couple of seconds.  A couple of seconds which Ari hoped had been enough to convey the message he wanted her to get. One second; I'm sorry. Another one; help me out in this.

A couple of seconds later her gaze went to the back pack that hanged from his left shoulder. Battered, colour faded by uncountable missions and frayed at the seams.

"Ever thought of changing that? It could use a bit of a wash?" Hannah asked, her head nodding towards the back pack as she crossed her arms over her chest.

He looked at it confused and when he returned his eyes to Hannah saw she was smiling.

"It's been with me through thick and thin. Couldn't get rid of it at this point." Ari replied returning the smile and placing the back pack on the table.

"All right, let's get this over with." Sammy urged Ari while he took a lot of documents, photographs and maps out.

Sam wasn't willing to spend any more second on pleasantries. He knew if he gave Ari the chance, he was bound to dive head first into whatever crazy plan he had come up with this time and the quicker he did that, the quicker he could tell him to piss off.

Thus, Ari spread the documents out and for the following 45 minutes he talked Sam and Hannah through his plan for the mission. He had been more thorough with details and careful with sensitive information as he knew Sam would be a harder nut to crack than Rachel, Jake or Max. Especially if he wanted Hannah in.

Both siblings remained silent during the explanation. Sharing a glance from time to time, but Ari was too excited and focused on trying to explain his plan well to read too much into it. When he finished he put his hands on his hips, blew a strand of hair that had fallen over his forehead and grinned with satisfaction, looking at them expectantly

Sammy, who had his arms crossed, moved a hand to his face rubbing his jaw and his eyes flicked a moment from the documents on the table to his sister. Hannah wasn’t looking at her brother, however, her attention was solely on the information Ari had set out.

"Is that a brochure for the hotel?" she asked as she took a brightly coloured and glossy document which was folded in the middle.

"Yup." he said popping the p.

"You've really given this plenty of thought." she said admiring the brochure as well as the rest of maps and planning documents scattered over the table.

"I have." Ari replied, his eyes pleading with her.

"So, just to be clear, you want us all to play house while smuggling refugees in and then out of fucking Sudan." Sam snorted.

"Basically, yes. And you sound like one of Isaacs' dogs." Ari protested.

Sam was about to bite back when Hannah grabbed his arm to cool him down.

"I think it's a brilliant plan." she said looking from Sam to Ari.

"Yeah, now he's the man with a plan." Sam scoffed and turned to look at her sister "And I don't care what you think, you're not going."

"Are you listening to yourself, Sam?" she said visibly annoyed at her brother’s overprotectiveness "You don't get to say what I am or am not doing. You hear me?"

Ari lowered his head and smiled at Hannah's outburst. She had always been an independent and opinionated girl and that had caught his attention right from the start. And she had turned into the determined and strong-willed gorgeous woman that stood there right in front of him, telling her older brother to basically fuck off. Ari couldn’t help but think how different she was from Sarah, who had become so clingy and demanding over the last few years.

"How do you even plan on getting all this up and running?" Sam asked Ari ignoring his sister.

"I said I’d have the details ironed out and a team assembled in 3 months and that was eight and a half weeks ago now, give or take” he said, looking at Sam then to Hannah “ I've got another three or so weeks to come up with covers for everyone and hand them out for memorizing. If everything goes to plan then we should be ready to deploy in January.”

Sam sighed and looked up at his sister who was busy studying the map, her sharp eyes roving over the details. Ari watched her for a second as she bit her lip before he looked back at Sam.

"I need you in this Sammy. I can't do it without you." he pleaded. Sam gave him a look, before he turned away shaking his head, clearly lost in his conflicting thoughts. Ari then switched his attention to Hannah. "And I need you too, Firefly.” At the use of his nickname for her she looked up, her eyes locking onto Ari’s a faint smile playing on her face as he held her gaze” I know I'm in no position to ask you to come with me. Not after what happened to Andy. But I really need a female doctor to take care of those refugee women."

Hannah visibly faltered at the mention of Andy. She hadn’t expected to hear his name, least of all from Ari's lips. He was really bringing the big guns out. But then again, persuasion tactics aside, it was a good plan and he was right about needing a woman to help out. Sammy had told her what had happened to that woman that had let herself drown on his last mission after they had found her bloodied and bruised by a tree after a vicious rape. It was common for women to be abused like that by the local authorities who persecuted them, and if there was something she could do to help, then Hannah already knew deep down that wouldn't be sitting the mission out. Andy wouldn't have done either and she was willing to bet Sam was already considering taking up Ari's offer. That fucking handsome bastard always got what he wanted. She would know.

"Which dumbasses have you got to agree to it so far?" Sammy asked, moving the discussion swiftly on. He had spotted his sister’s reaction to the mention of her late husband. She’d visibly wavered and Sammy had seen her right hand go straight to her necklace, where she wore her engagement ring and wedding band, an action she always undertook when she was nervous or the memory of Andy hit her. And it hadn’t gone unnoticed by Ari either.

"Jake Wolf, who you know from a few missions, Max and Rachel..." Ari offered, turning to Sam.

"Max?" Hannah asked still fiddling with her necklace, but a look of surprise now on her face “Max agreed?”

Ari nodded smiling at her. He knew she would be in when she heard the name of her best friend. That was the reason he hadn't mentioned the names of the rest of the team along with the explanation and ensuing conversation. It was an ace up his sleeve he hadn’t wanted to play until necessary. And Sammy, good old Sammy, had provided him with the opportunity on a silver plate. A simple list of names, strategically ordered, and the match point was his.

Hannah looked at her brother and gave him a smile, inclining her head slightly, an action Ari knew all too well to be her conceding her agreement. He managed to resist the urge to punch the air in victory, but didn’t fight the smirk that slid across his face as he turned to Sam and asked.

"Are you dumbass enough to jump in?"

[emmy-writes-sometimes]

Q U E E N

Steve gets sent to Sokovia’s neighboring country, a war zone after the Civil War incident, to guard the young queen. What happens when they’re trapped in a tunnel to a safe house? 

           “And they’re sending you there why?” Bucky asked his friend as he followed him through the hallways of their barracks. Steve sighed, running his hand through his hair that had gotten far too long to be acceptable.

           “Because they have a fuckin’ queen who needs saving,” Steve responded through gritted teeth. Bucky caught up with him to walk at his side after letting another man pass.

           “But why are they sending you? You’re the best…”

           “Best guy they have. That’s what they said is the reason why. Maybe it won’t be so bad.” They walked into the room they shared and Steve crossed the room to his bottom bunk, pulling his bag from underneath the immaculately made bed. “Besides, at least I won’t have to put up with your ass.”

           “Whatever you say, Captain.” Steve huffed, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure she’ll just fall in love with you and then you’ll get relieved of your duties and then you’ll move to Switzerland or something and I’ll never see you again.”

           “At least one of us would be getting some,” Steve shrugged in reply, grinning at his friend. He was trying to remain optimistic, but he was their best soldier and it was bullshit that they were sending him there instead of promoting him. He deserved to be General Rogers at the very least after everything he’d done, but after an international mess that the Sokovia incident had become, internally he knew he was only getting what he deserved.

           Steve finished packing within the half hour, and after saying goodbye to Bucky, he was off to this country that, quite frankly, he’d never even heard of.

-

           It was a war zone, like Steve expected. He expected the three security checkpoints, the strip search, and the stripping of all of his gear. They upgraded him, though, which he couldn’t be mad about. And then he was wearing a different uniform, his beard was gone, and he was waiting with his hands behind his back to meet the Queen. They’d sent two others along with him, guys Steve didn’t really know all that well, and they’d been sent to guard other members of the family. Steve was it for this woman. And when she walked out of the room to the side of the large throne room, he looked up. He made eye contact. And he realized he was fucked because she wasn’t the thing he expected. At all. She was young. Of age, obviously, but she more fit the description of a princess than a queen. And she was beautiful and, fuck, Steve’s hands came unhooked because he was starting to sweat and he was sweating through his shirt and…

           “Captain,” the girl said as she walked up to him. She had skin like glass, clear and smooth, that he noticed as she got closer to him.

           “Call me Rogers,” Steve replied. Maybe if he could set some boundaries, but not too many boundaries…

           “I’ll call you whatever I want.” Steve shut up. “I’m kidding. Please don’t call me Queen. I don’t think my mother would have liked that.” Steve cracked a smile only when she did, and when she extended her hand, he did the same.

           He found out that she’d only been promoted after her parents died at the same conference that King T’Chaka had, only a few months ago, and that was when they had become a full-on war zone. HYDRA always fought back hard, and this small country wasn’t sure they could fight hard enough. She’d survived, though, and barely having graduated university, she had an ancient crown on her head and they expected her to be something completely different. She knew she would be a queen one day, but she never thought like that. And she was damaged. She needed Steve, in more ways than it looked on the outside. They put him in a bedroom close to hers so he could be there in an instant, and usually it was just to talk her to sleep after another nightmare, or to tell her that she needed to eat. She didn’t seem like a leader, but it was all just a formality anyway. A council really did that for her. She was a pawn, and that was what allowed Steve to keep getting closer.

           Steve found himself a friend in her, maybe more if Bucky had been right at all. She had him accompany her almost everywhere, sometimes with a gun, sometimes without. Sometimes he would just stand there and look threatening when she needed him to. It seemed like everything was… okay. Like maybe this place was just a vacation destination. Until it wasn’t anymore.

           Three months after he’d arrived, the fighting got particularly close to the gigantic, old castle she called home. Steve had taken a place in the armchair in her bedroom, watching his tablet that was updating him with news every second. And he was trying not to freak her out as she tossed and turned. It looked like things were dying down – everything was fine for the night. Hopefully. He saw movement toward the gate, thinking it was their army coming back for the evening. He couldn’t have been more wrong, but he didn’t know it at the time. Heat signatures didn’t wear uniforms.

           “Everything’s fine,” Steve said to her, looking out of the corner of his eye. She sat up in her bed, watching him as he shut the screen off.

           “I wish I could believe you.” Steve sighed and stood up, placing the tablet on the vanity next to her makeup bag.

           “What’s my job?” He asked.

           “To keep me safe,” she replied. He often asked her that, and her answer never changed. On the outside, at least. She found herself wanting him in her bed, not beside it, and she wanted to run her hands through his hair and she wanted to sit and pick at his brain, asking questions about how everything started, but she never did. She never crossed the very thin line they walked on.

           “Exactly. And I’m not going to lie. If things don’t look good, I’ll tell you.” He stood in front of the bed, a menacing figure for any aggressor. His gun was at his side, but he wasn’t a soldier. Right then, he was just trying to convince her that she would be fine. And she was about to tell him to stay anyway, to come up with a dumb excuse, but she didn’t have to. Steve turned just by chance, and that was when he saw another soldier starting to rush into their hallway.

           “HYDRA is at the gates,” the soldier said in his thick accent, completely out of breath. He’d been running. The Queen’s demeanor changed instantly, and she stood up. Steve ignored how short her shorts were. “We need your instruction.”

           “Keep them away as long as you can. I’ll get her to the safe house. Stand by for any further instruction,” Steve told the boy, who only nodded. The girl was standing there, shaken, eyes wide with fear. “Get changed,” he told her. “Get your bag and push the vanity out of the way.”

           “The…”

           “NOW!” Steve yelled. It was the first time he’d ever raised his voice at her. But it was the first time he’d ever had to. He was starting to shake at the thought of her on her own, so young, in the same situation she’d only escaped a few months earlier. She flew to her wardrobe and found the first pair of sweats she could find, pulling them over the shorts she slept in, and shoved a sweatshirt over her t-shirt at the same time she threw on her shoes. She couldn’t help the shaking in her bones as she heard Steve cock his gun for the first time.

           “What are you doing? You’re supposed to stay with me.” He sighed and crossed the room to her, where she was about to move the vanity. Steve did it for her, shoving it aside. His muscular arms glowed in the dim light from the hallway.

           “I’m just securing the room.”

           “I’m not leaving until you do,” she said. Her eyes darted from the gaping hole in the wall where the vanity hid a set of tunnels that had been there forever to Steve, who was staring her down. Somebody needed to say something.

           “Then take my fucking gun so I can lock the door,” he instructed. He shoved the heavy rifle into her arms, making her back ache. How did he do this? How did he just carry that thing around? She watched as he shut and dead-bolted her door, then typed in the security code in the tablet by the door. She continued as he moved the vanity in front of it, too, leaving them in complete and total darkness. Steve took heavy breaths, trying to regain control of himself, as people started shouting in the hallway. They were already in, how did they already get in?

           “Steve, what-” The name was out of her mouth before she could stop it. Never had they been on a first-name basis. Only last names.

           “Get in the tunnel.” She backed up until she was inside the musty hallway, a moth ball underneath her foot. Just inside the door were three bags, one of them an old one she hadn’t even realized was missing.

           “Don’t leave.” She didn’t even realize how desperate she sounded. She didn’t even realize how scared she was. And she wasn’t about to lose Steve because he insisted on staying inside of a locked room.

           “I’m not leaving,” Steve replied. “I’m coming with you.” She nodded, slowly, and she could feel her body starting to calm down. The tunnel was dark and cold, even as she found her phone and switched on the flashlight.

           “How…” She knew about the tunnels, but the lock system that Steve was using was new to her. He typed in another code on a tablet that had been ill-fitted into the tunnel wall, and the door they were in snapped shut. She yelped at the sudden sound, causing Steve to grab onto her arm.

           “We need to wait for the call to get you to the safe house,” Steve explained. “We’re closed in here. Not even a bomb can get us. But we need to wait for the sign before we can leave.”

           “So, what, we’re stuck in this tunnel until someone finds out I’m not in my room?” There was a banging on the door to her room, echoing throughout the tunnel.

           “Shit,” Steve said. He took his hand off her arm and put it over her mouth, backing her up against the wall. There wasn’t even a sliver of light inside now. Her phone had died, she realized. Steve was maybe three or four inches from fully touching her, his hand over her mouth, other braced on the wall beside her. He was breathing heavily, making a soft sound.

           “Don’t move.” The banging on her door continued, causing the deafening alarm to go off. “Just wait,” he instructed, breathing heavily, looking around him to see if there were alarms inside the tunnel. She let out a deep breath as he took his hand off of her mouth. But Steve didn’t move. She didn’t move, either. She only then realized that she’d tried to push him away at first and her hands were still on his chest. She lowered them, pushing them into the pocket of her sweatshirt.

The banging on her door stopped. The alarm stopped. They could hear a faint call that said nobody was in the room, and both of them let out another deep exhale. She let her head fall in relief, brushing up against his chest. She felt safe. Exposed, but safe.

“They’re gone,” Steve whispered. “But we need to be quiet.”

“I can’t even see anything.”

“Then take your bags…” She took two of them as they were anchored at her feet. “And take my hand.” She did as he asked, and together they started moving through the tunnel.

“Where does this go?”

“To a safe house.”

“I have a safe house?”

“You’re not supposed to know. But now…” Steve sighed. He was walking too fast and slowed down, just so she could catch up to him without her arm stretching. “Why wouldn’t you leave without me?”

“Because I’m scared,” she answered, a little too quickly. No, she wanted to say. Because I don’t want to be without you because I think I might be in love with you, and I’m just a kid, and you’re the only thing that makes me feel safe right now.

“That’s not why. You weren’t too scared to get in when I told you to.”

“I don’t want to go anywhere without you because you make me feel safe, is that what you wanted to hear?” Steve smirked. It was much deeper than that, they both knew, but they weren’t going to say anything.

“Good. Just do what I tell you and everything will be fine.” He let go of her hand, letting her walk by his side like Bucky once had. This was a different kind of friendship, though. This bordered on something else, but Steve wasn’t going to make her go any further. He carried his rifle in his left hand, just between the two of them, and the third bag in his other.

“Why don’t I get a gun?”

“That would defeat the purpose of me being there.”

“Yeah, but... I know how to use one.”

“But are you the best shot since 1945?” She shook her head. “That’s what I thought.”

“Why did they send you? You’re Captain America.”

“I was Captain America. Now I’m Captain Rogers. They wanted me to be a soldier, so that’s what I am.”

“But they could’ve sent me anybody.”

“Yeah, well they sent me, so you’re stuck with me.” He wasn’t whispering anymore and she hadn’t even noticed. His tone was sharp but almost humorous, like he didn’t even really believe himself. “I don’t know why they sent me. Everyone else was asking the same thing.”

“Everyone else?”

“My best friend,” Steve sniffed the air. “Bucky. Known each other for a hundred or so years. He got the same serum they shot me with, and he was kind of the cause of the whole Sokovia thing. They thought he was the bomber.”

“But he wasn’t?”

“No.” This was the most conversation they’d really had about Steve’s life – it was always about the crazy life she’d lived. Before Sokovia. “He was brainwashed. But they took my word for it and gave him a second chance.”

“So you’re mad the made you leave.”

“No.”

“You can go back as soon as this is over.”

“I was planning to.”

“Was?” She stopped walking.

“You asked me to stay,” Steve covered. He wasn’t going to tell her that he had ever planned to go back, because his job was to die for her. “And I’m staying. For you.”

“Because that’s your job.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He turned around, trying to make out her figure in the pitch black. His eyes still hadn’t adjusted.

“You’re staying here because you have to. Not because you want to. You only did all that for me because they made you. I thought maybe you… It’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not stupid. What did you think?” Steve adjusted the bag on his shoulder and put it down.

“I thought maybe you cared about me.” I do, Steve wanted to say. I think you’re…

“I do,” he interrupted his own train of thought. “But I’m not supposed to. So I pretend I don’t.”

“You do?” Steve sighed and walked back to where her voice was coming from. She was surprised when he crashed into her, his massive hand closing around her arm as the other found her waist. Her backpack hit the wall before she did. She felt so small against Steve, smaller than she had before. Maybe she’d just been too afraid to even think about a size difference. Steve leaned down and captured her lips in a hard, un-ceremonial kiss. And then he was gone again, walking ahead of her, trying to find out where that damned tunnel ended so he could find out whether she felt the same way or not. 

[queenitn]

So...I just found something that I'd written one night at like 4am a month into lockdown.

It's pretty much a very unnecessarily angry rant.

I can probably contradict half the stuff I say in it myself. It's just...kinda rude in places and when I'm thinking straight there's some parts I don't really agree with myself. It's not aimed at anybody and I'm definitely a hypocrite but I'm gonna post it anyways so go wild I guess.

So I recently took a stroll through Stucky fanfiction on ao3. For a while there I'd been avoiding it, and I'd nearly convinced myself that my mind was exaggerating the whole bottom!Bucky/top!Steve thing but yeah, I'm not.

Normally, I'd say who tops or bottoms doesn't matter. It's pretty irrelevant. But... since the majority of the fanfictions clearly prefer to write bottom!Bucky, obviously, there is some significance. Wouldn't the proportion be more equal if it truly was irrelevant?

Besides being annoying as fuck, it's also pretty interesting I guess. I have nothing else to do so I'm going to be ranting about a lot of stuff.

So, I mostly try to look for bottom!Steve, right? Because that's what I like. I read a bottom!Steve fic, then I say, "Hmm, this author seems to like bottom!Steve, maybe they've written more?" I go check, and I find...mostly bottom!Bucky, with maybe one or two more bottom!Steve.

It's fine the first few times, but after a while it's honestly weird. Clearly, a lot of very good authors have no problem writing bottom!Steve. They just happen to write more bottom!Bucky. As far as I can tell, that's pretty much the common trend. But why? What exactly does one think while starting a new fic, going all, "Hmm...I think...this time.... we're gonna have bottom!Bucky again." Again and again and again until it's most times.

Why is bottom!Steve so fetishized? I don't mean the fics that actually have a dom/sub element. I mean just pure bottom!Steve itself. Why does it have to be some sort of rarity?

As far as I know, there's...really nothing in canon indicating who would likely top or bottom. (I mean yeah, I do believe that canon Bucky is more likely to want to dom than canon Steve, but that's different.)

So, what is it?

Sure, Steve is taller, has a deeper voice, more muscle, a beard....but those are just physical things. They don't actually have anything to do with taking or giving.

Besides, he used to be small before. Is that what this is about? Previously tiny man likes to be in control? Likes to...what? Prove he's a manlier man? Bullshit. Besides the fact that it's bullshit, it also doesn't seem to fit with canon Steve.

The "Sometimes I think you like getting punched" and the "And you've got nothing to prove" make me think that his proving himself had less to do with showing his dominance and more to do with showing his endurance. I'd say bottoming is exactly what he'd want to do.

Besides, wasn't that exactly what made his relationship with Bucky special? The fact that he didn't have to "prove himself" in any way? Bucky already knew his worth.

Is it because Steve likes to give orders? Some sort of "Oh, this guy was always meant to be the leader"? Well, there's a huge difference between being a leader, giving orders in a battlefield...and giving orders in the bedroom. And I'm pretty sure top/bottom preferences would be completely unrelated to who's the boss at work.

But nevermind that, as far as I can tell, sure Steve gives orders, but he also looks to the people he trusts for guidance. The best example is Nat. The thing that makes their friendship so goddamm precious is partly in the way he always glances at her for confirmation before making a decision. Isn't Bucky sort of like an Ultimate Nat with sex benefits?

Nevermind that too. Steve bossing people around is great, but that's not the point, is it? The point is does he enjoy it? I think, the only movie where he did look like he relished his power was TFA. I'm pretty confident that's because of the novelty of his new strength partially, and partially also because of the rush caused by his back to back successes. Why? Because he never seems to take that kind of enjoyment again. As opposed to...maybe Sam? The guy who gets his literal wings back after (presumably) years and lets out a whoop after being chased by the missile thingies. Sam's joy doesn't wear off. Steve's does.

Is it just me, or has this skew towards bottom!Bucky actually increased over the years? Why? I can say a few things on this.

First, maybe people need to remember a bit more that Sebastian Stan is not Bucky Barnes. Chris Evans is not Steve Rogers. And Steve Rogers is not Captain America.

No matter what you think about the actors, the characters they play are separate. Please.

Second, there is a very interesting theory that exists which says that the reason why Bucky is so popular in the fandom is because his character arc is relatable to women and the queer community in the fact that it's about him regaining his stolen agency. Which is true.

Does this have anything to do with him bottoming though? I mean, I don't know. Fanfictions are important because they allow us to explore ourselves, whether it's our sexuality or our trauma that we're trying to figure out. In that way, it makes sense that maybe we will tend to write Bucky as a bottom more often. Except no.

Partly because, having had bad experiences at a young age myself, and being queer myself, I do not relate to Bucky. And hypothetically speaking, I would totally bottom for Peggy or Bucky, but I would rail the absolute shit out of Steve. I canNOT be the only one.

Partly also because yeah, a lot of fanfiction is projection, which is good for the soul, both yours and mine, but not to the point where we create a fanon version of the character completely different from the canon one. Yeah, you could say that canon doesn't really give us much of a character, but clearly they give us something and we have to build up on that right? It's true for both Bucky and Steve. Bucky barely has lines, but his actions speak enough. There's an absolutely breathtaking character waiting for you in canon if you really want to look. As for Steve, let me just say, sass and the tiniest little hints of PTSD do not make a whole character. Marvel fucked it up, but this goes for the fandom too (this is keeping in mind that Steve technically has three movies dedicated to him and Bucky doesn't)

Stop treating Steve like your personal punching bag, Stucky fandom.

It does happen, if we project our bad experiences on Bucky, Steve often naturally fills the role of the clueless/mildly asshole-ish love interest. Not too much of an asshole though, clearly you love him.

That's fine. Fanfiction is about self expression, but should we lose sight of the canon characters that we loved so much in the first place? And isn't fanfiction just as much about exploring those characters, as objectively as we possibly can?

Another thing related to that...why do we only have to identify with one character? I don't know how to put this, but there's a thing called halo effect and I think that's kind of what happens (I'm not a psychologist).

You see something in Bucky. And then you start to attribute more and more things to him that may or may not actually exist. Like yeah, he's fullfilling the traditional love interest role in Steve's movies, but that doesn't automatically mean he's a bottom. The two things are... actually entirely unrelated. They're only related in your mind. And similar to that, when we see one thing in a character that we identify with, we kind of want to see even more things in them we identify with, but it doesn't have to be like that. That's not how any person works, and it's not how any fully developed character works. You can relate to both the characters in different ways, no need to dump it all in one.

Ok, another thing, that I don't like to think about but it's occured to me and I don't like it. So, Steve is generally coded as a bisexual, right? And Bucky is coded as gay. Look yourself in the eye in the mirror and think about whether you're unconsciously assuming that the bi guy isn't going to want to bottom. I'm a bisexual woman, I will top Steve. I kind of resent this.

Going off on another tangent, I have also delved into Stony on my quest for bottom!Steve. Pretty sure there's even less of that there. Why??? That's crazy.

Normally, I'm pretty sure Tony would be coded as the top. He's much older, richer. He clearly has control issues. That's one of his defining features. Control. (I don't mean that in a bad way.) So....what exactly do Bucky and Tony have in common besides dark hair and short hight? The only thing I could come up with was thotiness. They're both shown as Thots. Is that it? The Thot Bottoms? Ok.

Is it the whole energy thing? "Bucky has bottom energy"? Does he? Can you argue with me if I say that TFA Steve has bratty bottom energy? That TFA Bucky goes from service top energy to mean top energy? Pretty sure that's subjective. But what exactly are we seeing differently here? I'm honestly asking.

Bucky's character is ridiculously strong, stronger than Steve in some ways (besides probably physically). Specifically, it's because of his ability to not only survive, but heal. Can we acknowledge how crazy that is? He's just fucking buying plums, but that's still more than we've ever seen Steve do. You can say his trauma is greater, but it looks like his coping ability is greater too. So is that what this is? Steve doesn't cope. Instead he focuses on external things like being Cap, Hydra, Bucky. I wouldn't call that a healthy way of living...but it's romantic, right? Neglecting to take care of yourself? No, actually avoiding taking care of yourself by focusing entirely on another person? Is that it? We're romanticizing unhealthy behaviour?

Is it because you feel more for Bucky, wearing his hurt on his sleave, versus Steve who wears it hidden under his skin?

Am I allowed to believe that Steve's ultimate shield isn't the vibranium one, but Captain America himself?

That's just me getting off track and mildly pissy but the point stands. We like seeing Steve in control. He wears it well. He's good at it. But that's just not that relevant. You don't just boss poeple around in the bedroom because you're good at it, you have to want it too. Would he want it? Is a commanding voice really an indicator of a person's desire to command? Can we really say because he's usually the one giving orders (because that's his actual job), that he likes it too? Does he look like he especially likes it? No.

I've been around fandoms long enough to know that all fandoms always have a preference regarding who ultimately tops or bottoms. This isn't the first time it's bugged me, but it feels more this time because I just don't see it. And it makes me angry because it contradicts what I feel, are the best parts of the characters. No, Bucky bottoming isn't the contradiction..but all this that I wrote, the connotations of this kind of coding, the underlying thoughts.... some of it is just not nice, but some of it opposes the little things that humanize these characters. It wouldn't matter, except that it wouldn't have happened at all if it didn't matter.

It's not just what happens to them in canon that matters so much. It's also what they choose to do for themselves when they have the chance. It feels like they made their choices and half the fandom ignored it. "Nah man, you'll look better at the bottom. Look at that hair."

Because ultimately, that's what it feels like to me. A mixture of not thinking too much about it (though I know this post probably counts as overthinking), some wierd internalised heteronormativity, and I don't know what just kind of fucks with all of us. All I know is that I hate it. I hate it.

It's not the bottom!Bucky I hate, it's the underlying, unthinking assumptions. The way it's a foregone conclusion. It's not. I really just want to be able to read the goddamn fanfictions again without wanting to tear my skin off.

( You can help by giving reccs)

[dontcare77ghj]

Home

Bucky x Reader x Natasha

Notes: Bucky was saved from HYDRA just before Steve was thawed. He still has the metal arm and went through most of the HYDRA torture, but has had much more time to become readjusted. Reader is a mutant.

“We need a place to lie low.”

“There’s no safe house anywhere near this place.”

Most of the team rolled their eyes at the continuing argument between Steve and Tony. It was understandable they were mad, everyone was, that mission was a disaster. It was supposed to be a simple infiltration; the information said the building was near empty but the second they got near the building dozens of men began shooting at them.

Luckily no-one was hurt, but it meant they would have to come back until they could find a way to infiltrate the facility.

“Can’t we just book a couple hotel rooms?” Bruce asked exasperatedly.

“No. A group of seven people continually walking in and out of a hotel? Too conspicuous.” Tony vetoed.

“Look, if it stops the god damn arguing, there is a place we can go.” Bucky spoke up from next to Natasha.

“No there isn’t. Shut up Barnes.” Nat said glaring at the man. He turned to the red head and grabbed her hand.

“Nat, this is the only place anywhere near the facility. There’s nowhere else and besides wouldn’t you like to see her again?” Bucky reasoned looking her into her eyes. Bucky and Nat stared at each other, both waiting for the other to give in. After a few minutes Nat sighed.

“Fine. We can go. Clint set the coordinates, you know where.”  Nat said moving to the front of the jet to take the other seat.

“Hello.” Tony said calling Bucky’s attention back to the rest of the team. “It’s great that you two figured out your dilemma, but do you want to share with the rest of the team where we’re going?” he added, in typical snarky fashion.

“Buck, you sure you want to take us there? It’s your space.” Steve asked apprehensively.

“It’s our only option at the moment, punk.” Bucky sighed.

“Why am I out of the loop?” Tony asked no-one. “How many people are in the know?” Tony asked but the team was too exhausted to answer. Bruce and Wanda were both almost asleep on opposite benches, Steve had taken a seat next to Bucky and the only sound that could be heard was the low murmuring of Clint and Natasha.

Secondary Point of View

It was a quiet afternoon with you working on some new courses for your classes when you heard something outside. Getting up from your chair you cautiously walked to stand behind the wall of the kitchen.

“Doll? Are you here?” You heard a male call as the front door opened. You let out a sigh of relief as you walked into the living room.

“Buck.” You breathed as you took in the sight of your two lovers. “You scared the shit out of me.” You said as you pulled Bucky into a tight hug and gave him a quick kiss before repeating the actions to Nat.

“Blame him.” Natasha stated as you pulled her into your arms. “He wanted to surprise you.”

“I thought you said you weren’t going to be back for at least another month.” You uttered as Natasha clinged onto you.

“Change of plans.” Nat murmured into your hair. “We need a place to lie low and here’s the only place close enough.” She added looking back to look at her team. You followed her gaze and spied the people you had failed to see on your way in.

“Guys this is Y/N.” Bucky introduced wrapping his arm around you and Natasha.

“I know, um, know all your names.” You said with a smile.

“Well I hope you remember my name.” Clint said moving forward to take you out of Nat and Bucky’s arms to give you a tight hug. “How you are doing, L/N?”

“I’m doing great, bird boy.” You replied patting him on his back.

“We’re sorry to barge in Y/N.” Steve said. “But we didn’t have many other options.” He added moving forward to give you a hug when Clint let you go.

“It’s not a problem, Stevie.” You voiced. “You know you’re always welcome here.”

“How about I show everyone to the spare rooms, while these two get you caught up?” Clint proposed to which you smiled.

“That’d be great thanks Clint.” You replied. Clint and Steve lead the other three out of the room and upstairs to the rest of the house.

“What happened?” You asked once their team had moved out of the room. Bucky sighed, dropping onto the couch and pulling you into his lap.

“We went on what was supposed to be an easy mission, but we got ambushed.” Natasha said as she curled into Bucky’s side and pulled your legs onto her lap. “The whole thing was a disaster, but we need whatever information they’ve apparently got.”

“So, you’re going to have to go back.” You guessed, taking one of Natasha’s and Bucky’s hands into your own.

“Yeah.” Bucky murmured running his thumb across the back of your hand. “Everyone agreed we needed to stick around the area, and this was the only place nearby we could remain somewhat inconspicuous.”

“It’s fine, Buck. We have plenty of space in this place and it’s not like we haven’t housed this many before.” You responded making him look you in the eyes.

“I know doll, but I just wish we could’ve kept this place a little more private for a little longer.” He sighed burrowing his head into your neck and pulling Nat in closer.

“They’re your family, Buck. Both of yours. You wanted to tell them one day, this is just moving that date forward. Yeah?” You said running your fingers through his hair.

“Yeah.” He agreed. “Yeah you’re right doll.”

“Now that we’ve got that out of the way.” Nat began as she yanked you into her lap. “It’s been almost three months since we’ve last seen each other, and I don’t think any of us have gotten a proper kiss.” She said trailing her fingers up your arm.

“Oh really?” You queried. “Well maybe we should do something about that.”

Natasha pulled you closer and placed a series of kisses along you jaw before reaching your lips. You wrapped your arms around her neck pulling her closer and Bucky peppered kisses along the both of your necks.

“There are other people in this house now, horndogs!” Clint called from the stair case causing the three of you to jump apart. “Keep it G rated!”

“Fuck off, Clint!” Bucky grunted as you and Nat giggled.

“Language!” Multiple voices called from upstairs to your confusion but to Natasha’s delight.

“So, Y/N.” Tony said as the team sat down in the dining room. Bucky and you were working in the kitchen and Natasha was in your bedroom. “Clint gave us the bare minimum details of what’s going on between you, so tell us how did you meet?”

You smiled looking away from the bread you were kneading, to look at the man. “Diner.” You said simply. “About three months a year I go to live in New York and teach at a private school. After class every day I would go sit in a booth in the back. It was three years ago when I saw these two wander into the diner and pissed me off for a week.” You said fondly.

“We didn’t mean to.” Bucky defended. “To be fair we thought it was romantic.” He added under his breath.

“It was creepy.” You reaffirmed. “For a week straight, they would send a slice of cake to my booth and bribed the waitress not to tell me who did it. Pissed me off to no end.” You explained to the confused Avengers. “Took the entirety of the week for any of us to even speak.”

“It was sweet, and you know it.” Bucky said not wavering.

“Sure, it was sweetheart.” You said rolling your eyes.

“Y/N have you seen Felix?” Nat asked as she walked into the room.

“He’s under the porch. I swear he only listens to you.” You said shaking your head.

“Let me guess he was an asshole, again?” Clint asked as Natasha walked out back.

“He understands me, and he listens, but then he does the opposite just to spite me.” You said exasperatedly.

“Only you would have the power to talk to the thing and have it ignore you.” Clint laughed.

“Sorry power?” Bruce interjected. “Did I hear that right?” He asked as you stiffened slightly.

“Shit, N/N, I totally forgot they weren’t in the know.” Clint said regretfully. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine, Clint.” You assured. “It was probably going to come out anyway.”

“Doll, you don’t have to explain yourself if you’re not comfortable.” Bucky said placing his hand on your arm.

“Buck it’s fine.” You repeated. “They’re your family and it’s not like no-one knows.” You said before turning to face the rest of his family. “I’m a mutant.” You explained. “You could pretty much simplify my gifts as a control freak.” You added causing Wanda to smile, Bruce to nod and Tony to have a puzzled face.

“Aren’t mutants illegal in most states?” Tony asked.

“Sort of. There is a registration act but it’s more a tracking number honestly. The government deems us a threat because we’re different and we can do things most people can’t.” You explained as Natasha walked in with a black cat in her arms.

“It’s a load of horse shit.” She said sitting next to Clint. “It’s just scared old men, being scared old men.”

“Can you explain what you mean control?” Wanda piped up. “How much of an extent do you have control wise?”

“I’m able to persuade humans to do things I ask of them, as well as a certain control of the body. I am also able to maintain that trait with plants and animals.” You described watching Wanda nod along to the information.

“Can you demonstrate what mean control of the body?” Bruce asked, sitting forward at the prospect of new science.

You gave a large grin before turning to Steve. “Stevie you wanna be my Guinea pig?” You asked as he, Clint, Bucky and Natasha smirked.

“Why not?” He shrugged as you moved over the draws and pulled out a hammer.

“I love this game.” Clint mentioned as you moved over to Steve and he placed his hand on the table.

“Ready?” You asked and Steve nodded. “Ok. 1. 2.” You exclaimed and slammed the hammer down on his hand. “3.” You finished as Bruce, Wanda and Tony all made noises of surprise.

“What the fu- “Tony started to yell but you waved your hand at him. Grasping Steve’s now broken hand in both of yours, you mentally began to move the bones in his hand back to where they were supposed to be, as well as lowered the swelling, until no-one could tell the hand was even broken.

“Ta-da.” You said taking a bow as the super soldiers and master spies laughed at the perturbed faces of the other three. “I wanted his hand to be fixed and now it’s fixed.” You said by way of explanation.

“So, it’s practically a manipulation of reality. How far much have you tested this out?” Bruce asked, looking as if he were mentally taking notes.

“A decent amount.” You shrugged moving back to the kitchen next to Bucky. “Charles and I have tested a lot of different ways to use it and for most part it works 9 out of 10 times.” You said placing the ready dough into the oven and looking over what Bucky had done.

“Can we possibly see a little more?” Bruce inquired shyly. You laughed slightly at the change in demeanor.

“Of course. Dinner should be ready in about 30 minutes, so we can try some things out now?” You said and the man nodded a bit enthusiastically and ran upstairs to grab his notebook and a pen. You turned back to look at the table and saw Wanda and Tony looking at you inquisitively.

“You can come too if you want.” You offered and watched as they both nodded quickly, and Tony ran out of the room yelling for Bruce to loan him a notebook and pen. You laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation.

It had been a week since Bucky, Nat and the rest of their team had come to your home. Every morning two to three of them would scout out the area of the base, to try and find some sort of routine they could intercept.

You were able to easily get along with Wanda, Bruce and Tony. Wanda liked to help you out in the kitchen and learn new recipes with you. It felt nice to have another girl to talk to. Getting along with Bruce was very easy because of how fascinated he was by your gifts and the extent you could push them. It was quite entertaining to watch. Tony was your sarcastic soulmate. The two of you would make cracks at everything and soon had your own inside jokes.

It was currently the seventh day of having a full house and you were sitting in the living room with Steve and Bruce quietly reading books on the couch next to you. Tony was outside, working on fixing some of the equipment and Wanda was upstairs taking a nap.

“Logan, for the last time, I can’t exactly help you if you don’t tell me what you’re doing.” You sighed into the phone.

“For the last time N/N, I can’t tell you yet.” Logan replied.

“Then at least give me an idea what you’re trying to find here?” You asked as you attempted mark the papers the class had sent in, as well as find what Logan was looking for.

“Information.” He responded making you roll your eyes.

“Fine.” You told the man. “I’ll see what I can do, and I’ll let you know.” 

“Alright thanks N/N.” 

“Not a drama Logan.” You said ending the call with the man who might as well have been your brother.

“Are you going to find what he needs?” Steve asked, looking up from his book.

“Can’t really help when he won’t give me any details.” You shrugged pulling your laptop into your lap. “He’ll call back in a couple days and give me the information I need to help him.”

“It sounds like he does this a lot.” Bruce commented.

“Every now and then. He likes to think he never needs help.” You said before the sound of a jet landing penetrated the atmosphere. Bucky, Natasha and Clint all ran into the living room, the former two dropping quick kisses onto your forehead before excitedly explaining they had a plan.

“We figured it out!” Clint exclaimed dropping onto a recliner. “We figured out the perfect time to extract the information.” He added as he settled in.

“That’s great guys.” Bruce said closing his book.

“It is. We need to make a plan.” Steve said adorning an all business face.

“I’ll grab Tony for you.” You stated, standing from your chair. You gave Natasha and Bucky a quick kiss on the cheek each and walked out into the backyard.

“Metal man!” You called out as you entered the barn.

“Control freak!” Tony responded, his head popping out from behind the tractor.

“Please tell me you didn’t break the tractor.” You whined as you made your way over to him.

“Do you doubt my abilities?” He asked with a mock pout. “I’m hurt.” He added placing his hand over his heart.

“Oh, you’ll get over it.” You dismissed with a smirk. “Your needed inside, Metal man. Steve’s called a meeting.”

“Yeah, yeah I get it. We’re here to watch HYDRA, not have fun. I’m going, don’t touch that tractor Y/N, I’ve almost fixed it.” He said as he left the barn, causing you to laugh.

“So how early are you leaving?” You asked later that night. You were laying in between Nat and Bucky, all three of you tired and sweaty.

“’Bout six doll.” Bucky murmured. “We’ll try not to wake you.”

“I wouldn’t mind.” You whispered. “Are you going back to the tower after this?” You asked, trying not to sound needy.

“No, sladkiy.” Nat shook her head. “We’re going to come back here for a while. We spoke to the team and we’re going to take about five months leave.”

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” You asked. “I know how dedicated you are to your job.”

“Of course, doll.” Bucky said grasping your hand. “We need a vacation, and it’d be nice to spend some time with our favorite doll.”

“It’d be nice to spend some time with my favorite people, too.” You agreed, snuggling in deeper into the warmth of the blankets and Bucky and Natasha. “Just promise you’ll come back in one piece.” You begged the two.

“Of course.” Bucky readily agreed.

“We’re the best of the best sladkiy.” Natasha smirked as she curled deeper into your side. “We’ll always come back.”

“Good.” You mumbled. “I love you both.”

“Love you too, doll.”

“Love you sladkiy.” The three of you fell asleep to the sounds of gentle breathing and the feeling of warmth.

When you woke up the bed was cold. Stretching out, your hand came across a sheet of paper. Wiping your eyes, you sat up in bed and read the note.

Doll,

We didn’t want to wake you because you looked so peaceful. We’ll hopefully be back by later tonight, but if not just remember when we came back, we won’t be leaving your side for months.

We love you so much doll,

Buck and Nat.

A smile crossed your face at the sweet memento and your heart fluttered at the idea of them being home more often. Lifting your head as the door gently nudged open and Felix strolled in and jumped on the bed.

“Looks like it’s just you and me today, huh, Flix?” You asked scratching him behind his ears. “You want to spend some time with me?”

Felix’s yellow eyes stared back at you before he shook his head, jumped off the bed and laid in a sun spot on the floor.

“Asshole.” You muttered as you got out of bed to begin your day.

The day was as quiet as it was tedious. You did odd jobs around the house, marked some essays and attempted to find something to keep you entertained. You were in the middle tiding the living room when your cell rang.

You took one look at the scowling face before answering. “Hey Logan, you finally ready to tell me what you can’t tell me?”

“Y/N! Listen to me, you need to get out of your house as fast as you can!” Logan rushed out in his gruff voice.

“What the fuck are you talking about, Logan?” You asked already moving up the stairs to grab sentimental items.

“You need to get out of the house as fast as you can. I was looking into what was supposed to be a Hellfire copycat group, turns out they’ve teamed up with HYDRA and think you’re the key to controlling the phoenix.” Logan quickly explained into the phone.

You were running through your bedroom throwing anything that meant anything into a large backpack. “How the fuck did they find out where I was?” You questioned grabbing the cat carrier.

“Felix, get into the carrier.” You said commanding the cat, who immediately followed your instructions.

“I don’t know N/N, but I’m coming to get you as fast as I can. I’ll take you to a safe house off grid and you should be fine there. Just get out of the house and as far away as quickly as you can.”

“Got it. I’m evacuating as we speak, I’ll see soon.” You said hanging up without a goodbye. “Let’s go cat.” You said throwing on the backpack and grabbing the cat carrier in one hand. Running down the stairs you dialed Bucky’s number.

The call immediately went to voicemail, but you knew this would happen as the two always turned their phones off on a mission.

“Buck, whenever you get this call Logan on the number I gave you. You can’t go back to the house. I repeat whatever you do, do not go back to the house, call Logan.” You said as you made it outside. Quickly moving away from the house, you cursed as you realized you left the keys to your car inside. Taking off the bag and leaving it next to the carrier on the ground you turned around to go back inside.

“I don’t know how but they’ve found us, but Logan’s got somewhere safe off grid we can crash.” You began as you took a few steps towards the house but that was as far as you got before it exploded. With a surprised shriek you turned and ducked as low to the ground as you could. You were far enough away from the house most debris missed you, but some pieces still flung towards you.

After a minute you dared glance back to the burning wreckage that was once your home. You spotted a group of figures walking towards you, three clad in red and four in all black. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” You growled a you jumped to your feet to face the advancing group.

“Back!” You yelled throwing your hands out. The men in all black easily flung backwards but the red robed figures barely moved an inch. “Stop!” You exclaimed focusing on the robed figures specifically.

One of the members stopped while the other two advanced. “Sleep.” You commanded the frozen figure, barely watching them fall to the ground before you focused on the still advancing figures.

The left one raised their hand and a jolt of electricity hit you causing you to fall to you knees as a choked scream left your lips. You opened your lips to attempt another command but the one on the right raised their hand you could feel a tight pressure on your throat. The two advanced on your kneeling figure continuing the hold on your throat and the continual flow of electricity.

The group of men in all black seemed to have recovered from the shock of being thrown and were quickly moving towards the three of you. You made continual attempts to stand or release another command but were stopped by an increase of pressure on your throat or increase in electric waves.

“Subdue her.” The one jolting your system commanded. The men nodded and took large strides towards you. With renewed vigor you attempted to free yourself, with a great deal of strain you were able to stand and were able to produce two words through the tight grip.

“Stop.” You growled lowly. The HYDRA men stopped immediately, all frozen to the ground. “Attack.” You snapped pointing towards the two goons in red. The men all nodded before turning and attacking the figures, the distraction saw the grip on your neck to disappear and the electrical flow to cease as well.

Focusing all your energy on the man, on the left, you growled, “Freeze.” The man froze after several seconds and gave a panicked look as the HYDRA men advanced their attack on him. You quickly turned to face the other only to find yourself forced onto the ground, unable to move.

The shock of being unable to move was enough to lose control of the men. The men shook their heads, trying to clean their head of the fog.

“Subdue her.” The one holding you to the ground growled. The robed figure who had shocked you was on the ground out cold from being attacked.

The HYDRA men all moved towards you, muttering about preparing for transport. “Make sure she doesn’t get up again.” The figure barked. As the men come closer you tried to move but were unable to feel anything, let alone make yourself move. One of the men pulled out his gun and proceeded to shoot you in the thigh. You couldn’t scream, couldn’t cry out, you couldn’t even attempt to grab the bleeding hole in your leg.

“You idiot!” The figure yelled pushing the men out of the way to examine the wound. “What the hell were you thinking!”

“You said to keep her down.” He answered in a thick accent.

“I meant knock her out, you moron. We need her in prime condition.” The robed figure growled as they stood. “Never mind just get her in the car, and for gods sake make sure she doesn’t bleed out.”

One man grabbed you off the ground and threw you over their shoulder. As you dangled limply, you tried to use any semblance of your power but were unable to focus on anything apart from the blinding pain in your leg. You were drawn out of your head when you heard a deep scream in front of you.

You were still powerless to move but you could hear people shouting and the sound of guns being fired. Before you knew it, the man holding you was running, you were getting further away from the control of the robed figure and could slowly feel your body beginning to twitch.

The man dropped you to the ground as he began to fumble attempting to open the car. Slowly you were able to push your self up on your arms. Shakily lifting one of your hands you focused everything you had on the man. He turned around in time to give you a look of surprise before falling to the ground, neck snapped.

Letting out a loud gasp, you moved your hands to grasp you bleeding leg. Blood began to pool through your fingers as you let out a choked sob.

“Kid!” A voice called as pounding footsteps came towards you. Snapping your head to look at the voice you saw Logan barreling through the trees. “Shit kid.” He muttered kneeling down next to you. “They really did a number on you, didn’t they?” He asked applying pressure on your leg.

“You’re timing is impeccable as always.” You muttered as Logan tore part of his shirt to wrap around your leg. Once the wound was wrapped tightly, you attempted to stand but fell back down when your leg gave out.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Logan asked wrapping his arm around your waist and winding your arm around his shoulders.

“I need to go back, I left, the cat and, our stuff back there.” You said breathlessly as he pulled you towards his car.

“I’ll go back for it. You need to stay here.” He said as he sat you in the passenger’s seat.

“Who put you in charge?” You asked, letting out a small cry as your leg hit the seat.

“I did.” He said simply and shut your door before turning back to grab your items. Looking down at your leg, you willed the wound to heal but when you peeled back the bandages the wound was still there and still bleeding.

You moved your hands onto the wound and let out a hiss at the pain, but still attempted to close the wound. “Heal. Heal.” You growled but the wound remained open. “Fuck!” You shouted hitting the dashboard in front of you.

“Don’t beat the car up.” Logan scolded as he opened the driver’s door and placed your backpack and the cat carrier in the back. “Wrap that back up before you bleed out.” He ordered and you complied.

“I can’t make it heal.” You stated as you wrapped it. “I can’t make it fucking heal.” You repeated out of breath.

“There’s been too much strain on you mentally and physically. You need rest.” He stated plainly. The two of you sat in comfortable silence, before you drifted off to sleep.

When you awoke you were laying in a bed with Felix looking over you. “Hiya Flix.” You croaked running your fingers through his fur. “You keeping watch, clever cat.” You commented as you tried to sit up. You let out a strangled cry as you felt pain shoot through your body. Felix shot up and pressed his paws to your shoulders trying to push you down.

“I’m okay. I’m okay.” You assured Felix as you moved to sit on the edge of the bed. You let out a groan as you stood, you were able to take two steps before you collapsed with a thud. Loud footsteps reached your ears before the door was flung open. Logan raced forward with Bucky and Natasha closely following behind him.

“Kid, what the fuck are you doing?” Logan asked as he helped you back onto the bed.

“Oh, you know, the bed was just too comfortable, I had to find somewhere a bit harder.” You replied as Natasha sat down next to you. “Hiya.” You said giving Natasha and Bucky a soft smile.

“Oh, moi sladkiy.” Natasha cooed grasping your face in her hands. “How do you feel?” She asked as you leaned into her hands. 

“Sore.” You answered honestly. Bucky moved to the opposite side of the bed and sat next to you, pulling you into his side. “How long have I been out?”

“‘Bout a day.” Bucky responded. “We got here last night, and Bruce patched you up.” He said gesturing to your thigh. “You gave us quite a scare there doll.”

“Sorry.” You murmured softly. Natasha curled into your side, resting her head on your lap.

“Not your fault.” She responded. “HYDRA had files on you at the base. When we found them, we were going to go back to the house when Bucky got your voicemail. We should’ve been there.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. I got out just fine and you had a job to do.” You said firmly. 

“Doll you have a hole in your leg.” Bucky said matter of factly.

“I will heal.” You responded. “I just need some time and rest, and then I can make it heal fully.” You added firmly.

“I guess now vacations off the table?” you asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“No, we’re still going to take some time off, but we’re going to stay at the tower until we can find a new place.” Natasha assured looking up at you.

“Our home’s gone.” You stated in a low tone, memories of the explosion coming to the forefront of your mind.

“Doll,” Bucky started gently taking your chin gently in between his fingers. “As long as we’re together, we are home.” He finished placing a kiss on your lips, then one to Natasha’s as sat up, Natasha then gently gave you a kiss.

“I love you Nat. I love you Buck.” You murmured as Natasha curled into your side.

“Love you too, doll.”

“Love you moi sladkiy.”

The three of you laid there with Felix at your feet guarding the three of you. Bucky was right, here, in this moment, you truly felt at home.

Could possibly create more parts with this pairing and mutant reader.

Show your support. Write a comment. Buy me a KO-FI.

[cesperanza]

Endgame babbling

Random list of things I loved (most things) and some things I didn’t love as much:

Things I really liked!

* time travel!

* space travel!

* a goddamned de-aging machine! 

* Steve is worthy!

* Thor loves his Mom!

* Clint’s decline - which I was wtf about, except then I was like OH Clint needs to become a fallen assassin so Natasha can save him the way he saved HER, that’s why he had to have that fallen arc: it’s a parallel! (I love parallels!) (Also Natasha falling like Bucky from the train was a parallel - it���s love, it’s love.)

* Steve the worst therapy group leader ever! - which I was wtf about, but astolat and I talked it over and we realized that it was Steve doing Sam’s job to honor him, and that’s why Sam has to do Steve’s job now: “Pal, I led your damn therapy group for five fucking years, now you do my job for a while ok?” 

* Natasha, head of what’s left of SHIELD - because the other person she respects besides Clint is Nick Fury, so she’s doing his job because HE can’t

* Steve would make you dinner except it would depress you, lol

* There is a universe where Loki escaped with the tesseract!! 

* There is a universe where Rumlow, that schmuck, thinks Captain America is Hydra and so is going to blow the whole game early, lol, the first minute he Hail Hydra’s Steve BACK--whoops!

* I personally really like Steggy, and neither Steggy nor Steve/Nat nor BuckyNat have ever felt really competitive with my Stucky, for whatever reason (unusually for me; I normally don’t do multiples) but also--like, it’s really clear to me that in this canon Steve understood that he could have a life with Peg literally between one breath Bucky took and the next - and we see it happen, and they tell us what happened: that Steve can have as much time as he needs and still be back in five minutes.  Peg is basically in a pocket universe for Steve, which you can make as much of as you want. (I want to make lots of different things of it, actually to run out several contradictory ideas of it, cause that’s FUN for me.)

* Steve Rogers got his accent back! Natasha likes peanut butter sandwiches!  (That was some serious Avengers Tower type communal house shit there!)

* JAMES D’ARCY--first actor to cross from TV, and well deserved! Jarvis ILU. 

* Nebula - who I really didn’t give a damn about, but who came alive for me as a real person. (I personally didn’t like GOTG and didn’t see the 2nd one; ymmv.)

* ScarJo and RDJ were the standout acting talents in this movie, IMO; they acted the shit out of the material they were given. I actually have Plans for Nat - yes, I totally know just the Nat story I want to write, ahaha, death zero obstacle to that story - but with Tony, I mean: I love Tony, I really do, and I especially love Tony and Steve as brothers, but I feel like I have space in that five year gap to tell a lot of the stories I might tell about Tony and Steve’s relationship; YMMV, and I do think people who write Tony got--like, they got good canon, but they got the hardest canon to work with, IMO. OTOH, Tony is a genius, and we know he left that one virtual message; I’d personally lay cash money that Tony has other tricks up his sleeve, I’m just saying. (Voted most likely to have uploaded his consciousness in High School, and also most likely to be a guy you would bother to go back in time to consult if, say, you had a time machine...)

* Did I mention that Steve Rogers has a time machine, de-aging tech, Moljnir, and access to a spacecraft??

Things I liked rather less:

* the fat suit - I actually didn’t mind drunk and playing video games!Thor, but the fat suit was straight up het male anxiety; actually, more controversially, I didn’t love “America’s ass” either because (sigh, and I sound like my mother), I found it coarse, but also (less like my mother) it also reads to me as het male anxiety; dude, it’s okay; men can survive being the object of the gaze for ten seconds.  Signed--All the Women on God’s Green Earth

*  Tony, Steve, and Thor fight Thanos like five times, which--for me--was too many times!  Those fights were too long, and Natasha and Clint’s love-fest fight to die was TOO SHORT, IMO.  Thank goodness the ending battle was short, too - I can’t do anymore giant battles like that, they’re just depressing and dull at this point.  What is scale anymore? 

* Weirdly, I didn’t love the pan at Tony’s funeral - everyone felt pasted in, boo.  It was like a collage of movie posters rather than a community--Marvel, take your victory lap later, this is Tony’s funeral ffs.  I don’t want everyone standing apart with the casts of their films - why bother to bring them there if they look CGI’d?

* I didn’t love the “girl power” moment because to me, it felt fake and pandering; those women are very, very different and just grouping them all in one hero shot felt very unearned--those are not people who should be fighting in one big group

In closing, Steve Rogers has a TIME MACHINE, DE-AGING TECH, MOLJNIR, and a GODDAMNED SPACESHIP--OH, AND BUCKY BARNES IS ALIVE! 

[thefallenbibliophilequote]

The Last Word

Bucky x reader

This is also a preview to a mini-series that I plan on posting

Summary: you and Bucky never get along, it’s not that you hate him- it’s just that he always finds ways to get on your nerves. You’ve had enough of it.

Word count: 666 (I changed a couple of things for this to happen, worth it)

Warnings: none I think, bad writing? Bucky being a brat.

A/N: this is my entry to the Tea Party Challenge, hosted by the lovely @the–sad–hatter which you should totally check out! One of my favorite authors on this site! I’m nervous but we will see how it goes, a very happy birthday Kara!

A/N 2: so I could have taken it to the full angst, but I chose to take a different path for this challenge and go fluffy and mischievous because my mental health cannot handle angst right now. This is a preview to a small 3 part series that I plan on posting, since writing it all in one oneshot will be too long. Let me know if you want to be tagged!

–

When you first met Bucky, he was nice, kind, and even tolerable. You accidently fell on him when you practiced your teleportation abilities. He was a true gentleman and definitely not an asshole that you wanted to punch. Punch out of the Avengers tower roof.

Now however, things were very different.

Bucky got on your nerves like no other. You were going at it again after one tough mission. All the avengers were in the meeting room, exasperating looks on their faces for a post-mission briefing. But the mission wasn’t the reason why they were annoyed.

“How is it my fault that you decided to follow me, when I specifically told you not to?” you yelled back at Bucky, fuelled with the accusation.

“You were so fucking stupid out there in the field, why did they even let you be there? You almost died, and almost got me hurt!” Bucky yelled from across the table at you. The two of you pushed your chairs back as the rest of the team sat there groaning.

“That’s your fault for following me! I don’t need a babysitter! Besides, almost doesn’t count, I didn’t die and more than that, I got the formula that we needed!” you gestured to the vial sitting on the table to prove your point.

“You were stupid and reckless, you got stabbed and you could’ve ruined the whole mission!” he argued, your stomach was bandaged up but it was fine.

“I’m sorry, but this is MY stab wound and it’s barely a stab, more like a glaze of a knife really, that hydra agent was really unqualified.” You let yourself go off topic, but really- what were they doing recruiting dumb people like that? “and besides that, I didn’t ruin the mission, I wasn’t reckless- it was a risky move but I calculated it and to prove it to you, I won us the mission!”

“I could’ve done it much more smoothly, if you just listened to the instructions for once-”

“You think you could’ve done it smoothly? Yeah, sure because sneaking in with a glowing shining arm is better than teleporting in there!”

“Okay you two kids need a timeout; this is giving me a headache.” Tony complained, “Y/N it was risky but you got us what we needed, next time consol us. Barnes, let it go, she got stabbed.”

“It was barely a stab.”

“Getting stabbed isn’t an excuse to get out of trouble.”

You and Bucky said at the same time, then you looked at each other, you just scoffed.

“I got shot at last week- it didn’t stop Steve from lecturing me”

“Oh boo freaking hoo you got shot at, deal with it.” You mocked, tony gave you a stern look and you sat down, but was forced to get up the next second because Bucky decided to be a little shit.

“Boo hoo? What are you, a child?” the bastard smirked, knowing he got on your nerves. “Besides, I did deal with it, I’m a supersoldier, I can handle a simple bullet- unlike you that is.”

“oh you just have to have the last word at everything, don’t you?” you scoffed at him, hated that he got to you so easily but you were not going to back down.

“Yes.” He replied. But before you could retort back at him, tony interrupted.

“Can you two just hate fuck all of this shit out, so we can get on with our lives please?” he was amused at the look on your faces.

“Absolutely not!”

“You wish!”

The two of you answered, you glared at the soldier in front of you before directing the stare to Tony.

“I will beat you, you know.” You whispered to Bucky as you reluctantly sat down in your chair.

“Oh doll, you’re no match to me,” He sat down, “I’ll always get the last word, just wait and see.”

There was a glint in his eyes that you really didn’t like. The game is on.

tags: @buckys-other-punk @drabblewithfrannybarnes

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 106

Time was running out. Something that was made incredibly clear at the small- and last- team round table discussion you’d have before deploying. The Insight helicarriers were set to launch all too soon, and once they did, they’d link up with satellites that would load their targeting systems up. And after that… well, the first million deaths would occur. And the mission would be a complete failure. 

So. It was everyone’s job to stop that from happening. But it wasn’t enough to only do that. It would be easy for Hydra to keep assuming control of SHIELD and then paint everyone involved as a mass-murdering terrorist. You’d have to expose them. And the only way to do that, was… 

“We have intel about a WSC meeting happening in an hour. Enough time to get into position. And pick up our stray.” Natasha had her lay of the land on the table everyone had gathered around. “After I put myself into position, I can begin breaking and entering.” 

“And leaking.” Tony had his arms crossed, eyes moving across the small holograms scattered across the surface. “You’re good to go on the decrypts, if you can get past the security yourself.” 

She offered a smile. “I can.” 

“Good. Because I don’t have time to break into any more things.” Trying to hide his frustrations with that simple measure of snarky sarcasm. “Once you’re in and you start the scatter, there’s no going back. So…” Trying to make sure. Really make sure everyone knew what they were risking here. 

Steve’s hard voice put a stop to anyone’s wondering. “So nothing. This has to happen.” 

It sucked that he was right. In order to shed light on all the Hydra agents scuttling about in the world, every single piece of SHIELD data had to be leaked. Which… was a hard thing to think about. So many things. So many ugly things. It was normal, to be scared… right? To have just a brief flutter of panic? 

The public would see the lot of you for who you really were for the first time and- not to be selfish but… you were worried about you and Tony in particular. He probably had the same feeling, if the anxiousness he was trying to hide was any indication. 

Fury spoke up. “There’s no saying the Council will be on Pierce’s side. It might get ugly up there.” 

“I hope it does.” Natasha looked at him straight on. “Distraction is a beautiful thing.” 

“Besides.” You finally couldn’t keep your thoughts to yourself any longer. “It’d be nice to know that a single one of those idiots has even one percent of a decent heart.”

Steve didn’t let the thought sit too long, or wait for you to start expanding. “Everyone’s got their missions. We’re set to go, and out the door in ten. Any longer than that, this mission is DOA.” 

The helicarriers were taking flight. The rest of you had to, too. 

As the team broke up, getting ready to take off, you caught Steve by the arm in the corner of the room. Not really the best time for a heart-to-heart, but… he hadn’t mentioned anything about your special brand of help during the positioning or planning. Which meant it had been taken off the table. You still didn’t think Tony would make up such a thing, but… what had happened? 

“I know Tony wants me on recon and protection- but if you need me-” 

“I need you exactly where we put you.” The gaze he was giving you, stern and hard, was unfamiliar. 

Nerves already alight, you couldn’t help in getting mildly defensive. “I’m sorry, are you mad at me?” Asking with the inflection that screamed you have no right to be. “Whatever tough guy shit you’re pulling, you better cut it out.” 

It was like you’d taken a pickaxe to thin ice. He cracked instantly. “I’m- ...look, I’m sorry. I’ve got a lot on my mind. And- I think it might be pretty standard to feel guilty after a teammate gets shot on your behalf.” Insinuating he wasn’t being a big tough man. Even though he totally had been trying the look on. 

“We all do. So let me ease your burdens. I don’t have second thoughts about what happened.” 

“I do.” 

“I’m sorry Tony yelled at you. He sort of hasn’t been dealing too well with this stuff- but to be fair to him-” 

“I am being fair. Look. I’m not angry. And I think he had every right to come in here with an attitude. I made the wrong move.” 

The two of you talking over one another and cutting each other off wasn’t a very productive means of discussion. So you took a breath after he stopped. There was going to be no way of changing how he felt about this. Same as Tony. No matter how many times explaining- hey, I’m the one who took the bullet, doesn’t my opinion count for anything? Frustrating as that was… 

You had to let it go for now. So you tried not to make too much of a show of sighing and then drawing in a breath, settling your hands on your hips. “Okay. Fine. If you say so. I don’t agree- but- fine. Listen- the other thing is… Tony says that guy with the metal arm- you know him? And if you’re really sure about that- I think- I mean it’s obvious something’s up with him- and if that’s the case then I need to be closer to your end of the field because I can-” Talking yourself up in a frenzy here as the nervousness really crept in.

Which was a strange feeling. Never in your life since meeting him had you really ever been nervous to tell Steve anything. Yet. Now… your heart was racing. 

And pumped even harder and faster as he put his hands on your arms and leveled that hard look at you again. “Stop. I didn’t ask for that. And I don’t need it. I need you where we put you. And that’s it.” 

Fear held you in place for only a few seconds. It was annoyance that won out. “What’s the matter with you? Why are you being this way? Because I got shot? It’s not a big deal.” 

“You’re the only one around here who thinks that. And you’re wrong.” As if he was really trying to hammer this into you. Wrong, wrong, wrong. As you stared up at him he relented. “I have to do this myself. If he’s in there… I’ll get through to him.” 

It was only in that moment you sensed the finality here. The acceptance. “Don’t fucking let him kill you because you think you can get through to him. The second you get the sense that isn’t the case, you have to-”

“Don’t tell me what I have to do.” 

There was no way to combat this. It was worse- because you had no understanding of this Steve. He had never been like this before- at least not to you. You had no idea what to do with him. What to say to him. Tony found his voice before you did, coming to stand beside the two of you. Arms crossed, gaze piercing. “We good here, Cap?” 

Steve let his hands down from you instantly, like he’d been burned. “We’re good.” 

“No we’re not!” It mattered very little that everyone in that room was suddenly looking your way, and that you were probably making a scene. But this could not go on forever. “I’m serious. Cut this macho agro shit out. Both of you. I don’t need it in my life. We definitely don’t need it right now. I got shot. I made that choice. I didn’t die. We need to move on. And you can’t let this guy kill you- I don’t care who he is. Because you have other people who care about you. Me, in case you forgot. And everyone else in this room. Don’t start walking the seriously single-minded tough guy lonely road. It’s annoying and overplayed.” 

Why did men have to be this way? You’d dealt with this garbage almost all your life working for Stark Industries. Men who thought they knew better. Men who got themselves into trouble over stupid egoist shit. Men who bottled everything up inside until they took it out on someone else. Maybe it was the most disappointing thing of all that you thought Steve was a horse of a different color. Only to have it turn out he was the same as the rest of them. 

There was a stunned silence in the room because, yes, job well done, scene definitely made. Sam was the one to slice through it. “I don’t know if it matters for much but uh… I think I’m with her on this one.” 

And, to complete the sass factor you nodded to him. “It matters. Thank you, Sam.” Then, turning back to the both of them- though really more Steve in particular (Tony you could always go through this with him later), as he was the one about to charge into battle with a death wish for a man who might be gone. “Well?” A little awkwardly asked. But it was either show those colors or straight up ask him if he was going to stop being a jackass. 

He hung his head, perhaps a little put on the spot, and then shook it. “Yeah. Alright. I get it.” But as he turned back up to look at you and you were holding quite the stern glare, he chanced a small smile. “I mean it.” 

“You’d better.” 

                                                         ---

First order of business was sneaking back up into the Triskellion. Natasha went ahead with Hill to capture one of the Council members so your group could pull a switch. This entire plan only worked if everyone did their part and did it perfectly, so you didn’t have a lot of time to check in to make sure every cog was spinning the way it was supposed to. You, Sam, and Steve took the long way around, through the woods in fact, to get yourselves through the back end lot of the building. 

After that it was a long walk up what felt like a hundred flights of stairs, chest burning a little every step you took, silencing a few stray agents as they entered the stairwell. And once you were up on the targeting deck, you played your part. “LUNA, scramble all agent comm signals on this floor.” 

“Working- I can hold it for ten minutes!” 

Then you gave Steve a nod. “We’re a go, Captain.” 

Right on time, an agent opened the door in front of you, and having Captain America, a man in a Falcon flight suit with his gun drawn, and Lady Iron with her hands up was probably quite the sight to see. You hoped he could hear the smile in your voice. “Excuse us.” 

Easy enough to have him throw his hands up and step aside. Smart man. You and Sam held all the other agents in the room at bay, ordering them to step aside. Once they were all backed into a corner, you with your targeting on them, you nodded to the console. 

With a sudden sense of somberness about him, Steve stepped up. Then he took a breath before activating the building wide speakers. “Attention, all SHIELD agents. This is Steve Rogers.” Giving a slight pause, maybe thinking about how best to do this. You thought maybe he’d have something prepared... “You've heard a lot about me over the last few days, some of you were even ordered to hunt me and my teammates down. But I think it's time you know the truth.” 

He looked up suddenly, sharing a glance with you. That little bit of blueness he was exerting bled over to you. And you felt the loss of an organization you might not have always agreed with, but always worked for the better with. And when he tipped his head towards the microphone, you let words find you. “SHIELD’s cores have been violated. Hydra has been growing inside of it for years. Alexander Pierce is leading the charge. The STRIKE members that locked down the Avengers are with them. As well as everyone working for Project Insight. We don’t know how many more. But we know they’re here. And we know we have to stop them.” It fueled your adrenaline, to talk so candidly about the infestation, to thousands of people at once. To get it all out in the open. But this was nowhere near finished. Stepping forward, Steve continued. “They almost have what they want: absolute control. They shot Nick Fury and it won't end there. If you launch those Helicarriers today, Hydra will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way, unless we stop them. I know I'm asking a lot, but the price of freedom is high, it always has been, and it's a price we’re willing to pay. And if we’re the only ones, then so be it. But I'm willing to bet we’re not.”

He let up on the broadcast button, and the three of you had to wonder what sort of discord you’d just sown in the name of justice. Hopefully the exact kind you needed. Chaotic. Enough to burn everything to the ground so you could start over. Sam’s hand came over your shoulder, the opposite on Steve’s as he stood between you. “Did you write that down first, or was it off the top of your head?”

Giving a shrug, “Steve has a natural talent. I’m just falling back on my years of press work.” 

“Well whatever it is, I’m sure it worked.” Sam gave the both of you a pat before stepping back. You and Steve glanced at each other. He seemed unsure yet resolved anyway. “Let’s find out.” 

                                                        ---

With your part finished in the control room, you shot out the window- so much easier than taking the stairs, and went to the rooftop for a full visual. “LUNA focus in on the building, pick out hostages and let’s get to work.” Everyone in the building would now pick a side. But just because these were all agents didn’t mean they all were about to fight and die. Some of these people were pencil pushers. Filing for the greater good. So they thought. That was no reason to die. And knowing exactly what sort of scum Hydra was, they’d take whoever they could to get their way. Something you counted on as you broke into the fiftieth floor after LUNA called out a red alert and got to work taking down splintered STRIKE teams who were holding guns to heads. It felt good- maybe a little too good- having to rely on your own fighting prowess to put these people in the dirt (and throw some out of windows). Power was still critical and the suit was still damaged. The best thing to do at this point was to avoid using any repulsors or the unibeam if you didn’t have to. 

And you didn’t. Floor by floor, guiding the ever growing crowd down and out while you heard anxious chatter over your radio, you tried your best to focus on the mission put to you. Help the people. 

However, when Hill alerted you to the fact that the helicarriers were up in the air and time was growing increasingly short, you couldn’t help but ask- “I’m almost ground level- where do you need me?” Almost sort of hoping a little too hard someone would pull you off escort duty. 

Tony answered first. “You’re doing the important work. The rest of us are just being flashy. We’re fine. We’ve got this Cap, right?” 

Sam’s voice answered instead over the comms. “Hey, Cap, I found those bad guys you were talking about.” A mess of gunfire on his end of the line nearly threatened your eardrums. 

An unexpected voice stole the airwaves, as Bruce spoke, “Avengers, this is Starkjet 2 coming in hot. I’m- I’ve gotta be honest I’m not really sure which button is the weapons button but- I’ve got aerial support.” 

It was all too easy to hear Tony’s smile. “No problem, Banner. JARVIS’ll  do all the work and make you look good.” 

“As always, sir.” 

“Stark!” Thor’s voice was also a welcome surprise. “Where am I needed?” 

“Jump in anywhere. Uh- any time-!” Tony’s comm cut and you heard the rain of jetfire just as you chanced a blast to get the barricades ground level doors open. And once outside- 

You saw an ugly mess in the skies. Three monstrous helicarriers- those same beasts you’d seen lurking down in the belly of the Triskellion, the ones you quit over- they were up. They were in the air. And that spelled trouble. It was Maria’s slightly panicked voice that got you to jump to flight, “We have eight minutes until lock, I repeat, eight minutes until lock!” 

That was really all you needed to hear. They were having trouble breaking through everyone, and you’d done what you were supposed to do. So it was time to go and help where you were needed most. Not to play favorites, but LUNA must have just locked on to Tony’s signature, as you landed in a little bit of a clumsy roll on the deck of one of the helicarriers, using your forward momentum to swipe your leg out hard after to catch a soldier off guard. 

“Stark, I’m in position!” Steve sounded a little winded. 

“Make that two Iron Man- let’s get this over with-!” Sam, too, ready to put an end to things. 

Bursting in past another break of bodies, you saw Tony having a little bit of trouble, five guns marked on him, firing openly. With both hands up you blasted two off their feet and then ran in with a little boost from your jets to pull a third off balance and then lifted him up and over your shoulder to slam him back to the ground. 

“Honey! Where’d you come from? Aren’t you supposed to be on the ground? Getting your directions confused? This way’s up. Not down.” Asked only after literally tossing the last two men by their ankles out of the plate glass windows out onto the deck. 

“Sounds like you needed the help.” Sassing him right on back as you came to stand close. 

“You know how it is. Always have to save the best for last.” Holding his arm up and angling his wrist back, the USB appeared like an extra part of the suit. He turned his back to insert the stick into a command center. “Alright on my mark, gentlemen. Be gentle. 3-2-1-” 

Almost as if he’d summoned more trouble by giving a count, a legion of quinjets rose into your eyesight, cannons aimed. “I’ve got your back!” Not sure how long all three of them needed to pull this off, and really not having time to wonder about it. Taking off in a running start you broke through the center of the helicarrier, onto the deck, and into flight. “Bruce we need some firepower- Thor, you too!” 

An explosion ripped right through one of the helicarriers, a missile having been launched from one of the quinjets, hitting it broadside. “Oh I see- if you can’t have ‘em, no one can!?” Sam sounded out of sorts. And suddenly terrified. A feeling you could respect. 

Sudden destruction was easy to get lost in. Your jet was firing on them, their jets were firing not only on you in small bursts, but in much larger fatalities, setting the helicarriers ablaze. Thor’s sudden appearance of lightning as he hopped from one jet-top to the next was also just as blinding and distracting. You did your best to give commands to keep you and LUNA equally focused. 

But- just as you knocked another jet out of the sky with a twin repulsor blast- “I’m putting your percentage on the screen ma’am- we have to be mindful-” 

“Honey-” Tony’s face came on screen. “That’s your cue to find land- it’s down- in case you can’t remember-” 

“I’m fine-” Although a little sputter of your jet that had you falling forward and collapsing to a roll on top of one of the helicarriers now poised to go down suggested otherwise. 

“We don’t have time to argue about this! Get to ground-” Tony’s words cut off very suddenly by the sound of surprised pain. You watched him get knocked in the corner of your screen before his video window collapsed. 

“Tony!” Almost as if you’d jumped again, the helicarrier lurched and then went into a free fall beneath you, so you held your hands up to get a boost. “LUNA- find Tony’s signature, now!” 

“Locking on!” 

Once her red targets held him in your sights, you blew past the helicarrier now sinking to the river below and focused on the other one now raining in heavy pieces from the sky. Landing in a fall you saw him- that man- crushing the back of Tony’s suit- ripping wires from the back of his neck. It was easy to let rage take over. 

Running straight into him, you put your hands up after to send one shockwave out and then the next. When it sent him flailing back trying to catch his balance you jerked forward, slamming your head into his, and then finishing with a one-two body punch. Getting greedy on the third, he grabbed your arm in his metal one, twisting you up and over and then onto your back. 

One lift up and then an elbow straight to your chest had LUNA practically screaming. “We’ll go out if he does that again!” 

But far less concerned with yourself- “LUNA what’s the read on Tony?!” He hadn’t gotten up. 

JARVIS was the one that answered you just as you rolled out of the line of another slam and sprung to your feet. “Momentarily unconscious- the flight and nav power is out- I’m attempting to reroute-” 

Almost as if that man had heard that- or maybe realizing what your real weakness was- instead of launching forward to grab you, he ducked back instead with blinding speed to take Tony up in his hands. “No!” Unable to help yourself from calling out, and running in a useless attempt to try and salvage this. 

But it was far too late. He wanted you gone. And what was the easiest way to do that? Chucking Tony’s lifeless body out into the river. 

You didn’t have a second to think about abandoning whatever mission was left to achieve as you went out after him. Out of the corner of your eye you barely registered Steve breaking through one of the windows and putting that man in a choke hold. Steve would finish this. Or he wouldn’t. It, very unfortunately, was not your main concern at that moment. 

What was was the hail of whole jets off the balconies of the helicarriers and debris raining down as you raced. “LUNA whatever we have left to spare- we need it now!” No room for argument. 

“Ma’am we need to find a balance!” But she tried anyway. 

Perhaps wisely. As… as soon as you got your arms around Tony, and one of those heavy pieces of burning metal fell, you had to struggle to decide which burden to bear. Putting one arm up, the other tightly coiled around Tony, and your own flight power dropping by staggering amounts- you felt the real pressure of 22 tons of metal- a broken piece of one of the helicarriers- bearing down on you. Pushing. Crushing. And then finally just forcing you down-

If you went into the river it was over. The both of you would sink to the bottom and that would be it. Forever. End of your story. Instead you tried to outsmart this inanimate yet malicious piece of machinery, but letting go of its weight and racing up along its spine to catch a few bare inches of land. 

And once there, you threw Tony’s body and dropped to your knees as the full weight bore down on you. “LUNA- the back jets-” 

“We don’t have any more power!” 

As you sunk to your knees, the cry you let out was nothing short of feral. Your muscles were strained so hard you were sure you felt them snapping. Energy flooded in droves, and you felt the blood draining from the fresh wound reopening in your chest. No chance to heal. 

Just as you were resolved to- Resolved to- planning to give Tony just a last bit of coverage- maybe shove him or throw him and let the rest fall- 

A gust of wind seemed to knock back the monstrous tower you were holding at bay with no strength left at all. And as your arms gave out and you fell in a kneel, you turned your darkening vision skyward. A flash of green and an indicative roar were all you needed. Hulk beat back that giant tower and you fell in a heavy heap, unable to catch your breath. 

Pulling your helmet off and ignoring the pain flaring in just about every part of your body, you crawled on your hands and knees to press the release on the sides of Tony’s helmet, taking it off and chucking it to the side. Fresh air wasn’t enough, so you allowed an easy slip into that space, finding him right there. Almost like he’d beckoned you the second your feet touched the water. 

Laying your head to his chest, you breathed deeply. And let your last bits of light seep over him. 

When he jerked forward with a startle, you found yourself resting atop him. After a gulp of a gasp, his voice was a shake of uncertainty. “What happened?” He struggled, slightly, to try and sit up. 

But you had no strength to move, so you unintentionally held him down. “Well… if you did your part and I did my part and they did their parts… we might have won-” 

“Why are we here? -where is here?” 

“Guy with the metal arm ripped the back of your suit open and knocked your brain around.” The simplest way you could think to put it. “And then tried to chuck you into the river.” 

“Oh.” His flailing about died down. You would have killed for silence, but there was chaos screaming around you still. “So what you’re saying is… Cap’s not the only one who owes you a thank you note.” 

“Your stationary better be fancier than his.” Rewarding yourself with the small color of humor. But- a sudden sense of dread filled you. “Where- does anyone have eyes on Steve?” 

 You’d left him alone up there. Alone with a man that had almost single-handedly destroyed your team. On multiple occasions now.

Dead silence from everyone else on your team- including Steve- set your heart to pounding. 

Flopping your hand up and over, you pressed it to your ear. “I repeat- does anyone have eyes on Steve?” And again when silence found you- you simply called out. “Steve!!” 

No answer at all.