#(who did nothing wrong i just ruined it a bit for myself)

[thr0wnawayy]

Chapter 429 has been my Dabi's Dance

I can't stop smiling.

I wanted to start off by saying thank you. Not to Hori, but to you all. Every last one of you in these tags for your contributions. Be it analysis, re-reads, fan works or simply your perspectives. I look forward to seeing what you will make in the future.

So, Thank you.

I suppose I should start at the beginning. MHA was always in the background of my life and I hated it. I don't watch anime and yet still MHA related media would make it's way onto my socials in all it's obnoxious forms. This went on for years.

And then suddenly, it stopped. It seemed like MHA's craze had died down, I'd still see it from time to time through merchandise but never to the consistency it had prior.

That was until Dabi's Dance was published and the net went wild.

I knew a few things about Endeavor from my past exposure, he was universally hated and abused his kids and wife (to the point she scalded her son in a fit of psychosis).

Deciding I had nothing better to do, I found myself searching to see what kind of consequences would befall such a monstrous character.

Would he fall like Icarus, be torn apart by the public, how would the family he ruined react to the news?.

And then, nothing. No punishment, no reaction. Just dead air.

I recall that my face dropped internally. My blank expression mirrored my phone screen's sterile nature, as it displayed the information in front of me.

He got away with it. So I did some digging and it got so much worse.

Bakugo's evasion of any consequences or damages, coddled and shielded by Hori's inability to go through on anything.

Hawks who murdered a near crippled man on a hypothesis, for the mere crime of having the "wrong" quirk, for not giving up, for being "unlucky"

Aizawa, Hori's little mouthpiece. who decides to play judge, jury and executioner with the futures of students he's supposed to be teaching. Only for the Nedzu and the narrative to allow him, his friends turned into lapdogs that agree to the letter.

The Commission who strive to keep theirrotting husk of a system alive through assasins, child soldiers and indoctrination.

Even if it's gears must be lubricated with blood, even if it means lying to the world and having them clean up the mess. They MUST stay on top, the illusion must be upheld.

I just couldn't fathom how this was seen as a good thing.

And somewhere along the way I began to feel something akin to hate. Not your typical ire, one powered by anger, no.

I wanted to see how low Hori would go, just how horrifically he would mangle a series that everyone had once praised.

I wanted to witness what wonders a jaded community would create, to show what they were capable of (to create and understand MHA in a manner Hori wishes he could even emulate a fraction of)

I wished to see your own expressions of love and hatred.

The thought of witnessing the breaking point, the dust settling to expose all the glaring flaws and infested wounds of MHA. It buzzed in my brain like electricity.

The idea that when all was said and done, you, the people would do what Hori couldn't/wouldn't and forge the bones and salvagble bits of MHA into a story worth remembering.

One where abusers are punished for their crimes instead of rewarded

Where victims can have a voice, feel and grow, carve their own paths and move forward from their trauma.

Where the implications of MHA's rotting and disingenuous society get explored instead of swept under the rug

Where people get a chance.

I waited eagerly for the day it would all fall apart.

So, do you know what I did when I logged onto the tag and saw your posts!?.

I laughed, the shrill giggle in the back of my throat quickly surging into an almost manic cackle. It was like lightning, vindicating and sobering all at once. My face was stretched to it's absolute limits with how wide my grin was. I could almost hear the shattering of MHA's last bit of integrity and I loved it.

The realization MHA's greatest threat was the author himself, It's one that I grasped long ago (as far back as the Dark Dekiru Arc) and I'm sure most of you understood this as well.

But to see that more of you are starting to get it, to realize there's no going back. That as the curtains draw near and the lights begin to dim, there is no other side here. Violence begets violence and Hori's gone past the event horizon.

It feels, hopeful. Perhaps we can build something worth saving.

It's been a wild ride so far and it's still ongoing. Hori's time is long over, it has been for a while now, so I suppose what I'm asking Is:

Now It's Your Turn, what's your play?

_______________________________________

Update:

IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING!

[houxe]

Regarding my SBI/DSMP Fics

TW: Abuse, Trauma, and Mentions of Suicide.

With all that has happened, I did want to come out here and make my stance clear. I will always stand with Shelby (Shubble) and all of the victims who are speaking out against Will Gold (Wilbur Soot). If you still support that bastard, unfollow me and leave my blog and whatever small community I made.

I've already stated this is my Discord channel, but I want to put it here too.

For me, c!Wilbur is so far removed from cc!Wilbur that I don't connect the two. The characters are vessels for my own characterizations and stories. It's a bit like writing Supernatural*, Twilight, or Hazbin Hotel fanfics. I don't support the guy, monetarily or otherwise, he does not interact with fanfics, I have plans to be very vocal that I'm on Shelby's side no matter what/make it clear that what Will did is wrong, and I don't use his real life events as plots in my stories. At least, I certainly don't try to. It's why I typically change traits about the characters. (I.e. Tommy is shorter, Phil is taller, Techno is bulky, and Wilbur always has golden/hazel eyes.)

I'm aware that it's a tad different because it's rp and not something like a full on book or an actor in a movie, but DSMP has also been over for over two years and the characterizations I make for SBI are not at all based on the CCs. Real life Techno isn't a literal terrorist, Phil ain't a father married to a goddess, Tommy is not a traumatized child soldier, and Wilbur isn't suicidal and blowing up countries.

I think I'll likely focus more on Techno, Tommy, and Phil for a while, but I'm not gonna let one dude ruin a fandom and things I've made for myself. Nothing I write is ever made for Wilbur, as I've seen people saying. Additionally, Wilbur was not the only writer. Technoblade, Philza, TommyInnit, and so many others made that story what it was. Not him.

However, if any CCs come forward saying they don't want their old characters interacting with his, I will respect that.

Though I do think there is a tendency to take real life events (i.e. Techno's cancer, LJ's music, Tommy's real life parents, etc.) and put them into fiction about DSMP. I, however, don't try to do that and have stated before that I don't feel comfortable doing so. The truth is that we have not gotten any genuine SBI content outside of DSMP for years. The dynamic in real life is very different from what was presented in the DSMP. Did personalities still bleed over? Yes, I'm not going to deny that, but I'm not going to act like they're exactly the same between character and person either. We've had that conversation like in 2021, it's why we have C! and CC!.

The rather sad truth is, SBI is what got me really into writing and it's a comfort for me that nothing can compare to. Obviously, I don't think it's appropriate to be writing certain types of stories right now or to be involving characters made by CCs outside of the DSMP. I think it's up to everyone else to decide on what they want to do, however, rushing it also isn't the way to go either. Give yourself time to heal and think it over first instead of throwing away something that gives you comfort and has not been associated with by the creators for over two years.

Anyways, fuck Will Gold. Fuck the fact that he hurt so many people, and fuck that he lied and manipulated his way around the damn internet. ESPECIALLY fuck the fact that he tried to diminish what he did and not take proper accountability.

Go and support Shelby so so much, she and everyone who spoke out really deserve it. I'm glad silence on these types of issues is not being normalized.

Here is a list of (American) resources for DV help:

TNLR

RAINN

WOAR

Love is respect

The Trevor project

Futures without violence

National domestic violence hotline

Resource on what DV and abuse looks like

*Changed it from Harry Potter to Supernatural because Harry Potter is a significantly worse and more problematic franchise, even just within the content of the books. It'd be better left in the dust. I've talked about it before, but it was the first thing that came to my mind at the time and was a poor comparison on my part, I'm truly sorry for that.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for tossing a drink?

I (F22) don't drink alcohol: I don't like the taste of it, I was hangover once and I didn't like it at all and there is a large history of alcoholism on both sides of my family so I don't want to tempt fate.

My friends (F21, M22, F23, M23, F24 and M25) have all asked why I don't drink and I have been honest to all of them on my reasons and most of them have been pretty understanding NGL but there is this one friend (F24) who has made it her "duty" on getting me drunk. I didn't know her reasons why until last night.

So, last night we were at M25's apartment, we had decided to make a get together and talk about everything and nothing ans just have a nice time. We all brought our drinks, they had bought alcohol which was cool I don't mind then drinking they are all very responsible.

We were chatting the night away with some pizza and drinks and everything was nice actually. At this point, everyone was still sober and I decided to excuse myself to go pee. When I returned, I took a sip of my soda and inmediately felt the taste of alcohol. I stood up, gave the drink to F21 to hold for me and went to the bathroom again where I spit the soda I had in my mouth.

When I returned my other friends were puzzled. I immediately asked who had spiked my drink. At first, nobody believed my soda was spiked until I asked F21 to try it. She confirmed it had alcohol.

I repeated my question. And F24 confessed that it had been her because she wanted me to let loose a little bit. I gave her my most disgusted look, asked for F21 to return my drink which she did and I tossed the soda down the kitchen drain in front of everyone.

F24 got mad because I was acting like a complete asshole but when I asked her if I was an alcoholic in rehab would it still be fun to get me to spiral back in. She got silent. Her next argument was that why I wouldn't just trade my drink with someone else, I answered that nobody besides me had brought non alcoholic drinks so it would have been a losing situation for me.

Then I asked my other friends how could they not have noticed she spiked my soda, they said they just didn't notice they were chatting which fair we were in a very safe space. F24 was trying to get our other friends to take her side but nobody was backing her up everyone thought that it was a dick move of her to do that.

She then started acting up as if she was the victim here, gathered all of her things and stormed off.

We carried on with our night but for some reason I felt guilty about it. My friends say that it's completely not my fault and that I stood my ground in a very respectful way but I still feel bad for ruining the night. They reasured me it wasnt ruined and we kept our day.

I woke up today still feeling as if I was the one I did something wrong, I spoke with everyone except F24 and everyone is telling me not to overthink it and that the one that deserves an apology is me but I'm still thinking I could have approached the situation better.

So AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[thatswhatsushesaid]

this person has me blocked, which is something i used to genuinely lament because occasionally i'd see bits of their very thoughtful commentary floating across my dash, and i'd find myself sighing sadly over what other gems of wisdom i was missing out on by not having access to their blog. i'd even lament about it via dms to some of my pals who did still have access to this person's blog. what interesting discussions must have been happening beyond that "???" "this is no one" "uh, who??" opaque door that tumblr always presented to me whenever i clicked on this person's username? would i ever know?

a friend this morning: want to see a bad take to get mad at

me: obviously yes

anyway as it turns out, it looks like i'm missing out on exactly nothing, actually, so that's a huge relief

more seriously, recalling the insightful commentary that i have seen this person reblog in the past when it has come across my dash, i am frankly in awe of this one, because it is so profoundly disconnected from reality and how people experience stories. like i'm not even sure where to start with peeling back all of the wrongness layers at work here because i haven't taken my adhd meds yet this morning, but the primordial stupidity at this take's core (coming from someone who is clearly smart, ftr, i am targeting the stupidity of the concept, not the person) has made me genuinely angry. it's not even just about applying this framework to mdzs, though of course it is principally about that because this book DOES actually place class front and centre at multiple points in the narrative. it's the idea that we just shouldn't be having conversations about classism, or sexism, or [x]-ism, in the romance genre, because don't we realize the point is the romance, actually?? these other things clearly don't matter and aren't worth talking about??? and this mindset is so utterly foreign to me because at no point have i ever felt compelled to stop myself from thinking thoughts about a book because "oh, but this is genre fiction, i need to turn my brain off to read and enjoy this, i forgot." or "this thought is not appropriate because genre fiction, i'd better stop thinking it before i ruin the story."

like. i am deeply, deeply sorry for this person, actually, that they are not picking up on precisely what mxtx is putting down in the text, especially considering mxtx has explicitly explored themes of class in at least two of her novels (i'll get back to you on including svsss once i've read it). but also, a critique of class in the jianghu, or how mxtx has written her female characters, is entirely as valid use of fandom time and energy as writing one more definitely original and not remotely repetitive thinkpiece on the power of wangx!an's morally good love to overcome all obstacles (not saying OP wrote any of these, just that there ARE a bunch of them out there).

like. why do you want to simplify the experience of reading and thinking and talking about these books? why do you want to push for more boring analysis of stories? why are you using your platform to encourage this? i'm so mad about it actually. people listen to you, and this is what you're encouraging them to do: think less.

[misguidedasgardian]

Wildcats (part XIV)

XIV. Alexandria

MASTERLIST

Summary: Those weeks in the road had made you… weary

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Zombie apocalypse AU, living dead, zombies, guts, blood, guns, injures, cannibalism, plots, might miss some warnings, in the case of this fic I MIGHT MISS SOME BIG WARNINGS, but you know what this is about, immaright?

+18, MINORS DNI

Notes: Here it comessss muahahaha, I might delete the slowburn tag, I’m not gonna lie I want them to get frisky already… but I’m not gonna do that yet. I love this fic, and i can’t wait for you to read what comes next, I’m super hyped… hejehe

“Do you really need to record this?”, nothing against it, you were just not so camera friendly, you believed, “yes? alright then”, you smiled nervously at the nice looking woman, you took a quick look over yourself and realized you were really dirty

“Why don’t you take a seat?”, she asked gently, you looked at the chair nervously

“I don’t want to ruin your upholstery”, you said with a chuckle

“I’m sure it will be fine”, she said kindly. You only nodded, and sat in the comfortable chair

This was surreal.

You looked all around, it was a nice house, a nice living room

“I love that Le Corbusier print”, you said softly, pointing to the wall behind her

“You know your architects”, she said softly

“I’m trained as a designer”, you muttered

“You know, my husband is an architect, I think the both of you, together, can make great things”, you smiled, excitedly

“I would love that”. you said, as was the reason you became a designer in the first place. But then her face got serious

“Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself… but I do get very excited sometimes”, she said gently, you smiled at her some more, much more that your cheeks started to hurt, “You.. don’t look like you would survive out there”, what was it? she was like the third person to say this to you, “how did you meet the rest of the group?”

“I found Carl while we were scavenging the same house”, you said softly, “he brought me in to Rick and Michonne”, you said with a soft smile

“And before that?”, she asked

“I was alone”, that seem to truly surprise her

“Alone out there?”

“Yeah”, you whispered.

“Tell me, what do you want from this place? Do you want to stay?”, she asked seriously

“I just want my family to be safe”, you assured her, “I feel like… I’m a fish out of the water right now, but I think… we can make it work”

“It sounds like all or nothing”, she said, her eyes were a bit unsettling to you, she seemed like she could see into your very soul

“Well, if one of us doesn’t…”make it” I want to believe, none of us will”, you said, she frowned, truly interested, “we are a package deal”, you assured her.

“It’s incredible to me how many people, so different, could form this…”

“Family”, you completed, she smiled, “we were sort of… compelled to come together”, you said, “for survival, but… we formed a type of bond… a bond of survival”, you said with a nervous smile, but she seemed to read your thoughts

“You seem concerned”, she stared

“I’m scared this isn’t… going to be a good fit”, you confessed, frowning

“Why?”

“We have been out there too long”, you said, “the things we have done… the things we have seen”, your eyes filled with tears, “There might be humans out there, but humanity… humanity is gone”

You took a long breath when you got out of Deanna’s home, they were waiting for you, except Rick and Carl, who had been the first ones to go, behind you went Glenn

“Are ya’ alright?”, asked Daryl, you nodded

“Sure”, you said with a smile.

You didn’t know what to feel, when the gates opened and… you saw houses, big houses, gardens, greenery, life… children playing, pets being walked… you couldn’t believe what you were seeing. It seemed nothing had gone wrong here at all, it was some sort of dream. 

You had surrendered your weapons to a nice looking woman with a cart, you had watched Carol fumble with the strap of her rifle, and smiling kindly at everybody, you didn’t know what she was playing at, but it made you a bit scared.

“Stay close”, Daryl whispered to you, he looked everywhere, like snipers were going to pop up and blow your brains out… well… like in Terminus really.

You looked at him and nodded

“What did you talk about?”, asked Carol, “what did she asked you?”, you only looked back at her

“That’s cheating”, you mocked, but you could tell she was not in the mood to joke around, but since there were other people around, she smiled

They were eighteen of you, so the interviews took time, a bunch, as you were ready with yours, they “let you go”, but still, as Daryl has suggested, you didn’t go very far, even though Aaron had offered to take you to your new home.

Your new home

They gave you two of them

They were big.

You walked towards the houses, and you saw Daryl, talking to Rick and Carol

“They took our weapons and now they are splitting us up”, said RIck, “we will all stay in the same house tonight”

“Hey”, you greeted with a soft smile, but you whistled loudly when you saw Rick, “damn Rick!”, he sighed with a grin, “looking good!”

“Thank you”, he said with an amused grin

“I will catcall you when I see you walking down the street”

“No you won’t”, you giggled still, “Did they give you a job?”, he asked

“Yes”, you said excitedly, “I will be working with Deanna’s husband in “developings”, isn’t that cool?”, you asked, “I will be making blueprints and designing things again!”, you said, you were extremely excited. But Daryl and Carol where looking at you with weird looks on their faces

 “You will do great…”, you could tell they were talking something serious before you interrupted, “we will sleep together today”, said Rick, “in the biggest one”

“Fine”, you said with a big smile, “a nice pajama party or something”, you have been having “slumber parties” with your family since you met them, but this is not the point

You entered the house like it might be filled with walkers, slowly and carefully.

It was a beautiful house, very nice, well lit, well, decorated, it was surreal. Not even “in the real world”, you could have lived in something like this, it was insane… There was a freaking washing machine! FOR YOUR DIRTY CLOTHES! it was bananas! you’d believe you were going to cry or something, of pure excitement. 

And then came this gut wrenching feeling… as something wasn’t right… As… what happened if something went wrong? What would happen if it didn’t work out?, you walked towards the bathroom, thinking about taking a shower, and in a long, decorative bench along the corridor, you saw a pile of various clothes, which you gathered, they left for you to find, luckily, you found quickly a good pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt, on your size, so you grabbed them quickly, there was even brand new underwear in various sizes, and this is when you shed a couple of tears. You couldn’t believe this, it was everything you ahd hoped for and even more.

Even if it didn’t work out, at least they couldn’t take this away from you. This clothes, and the bath you were going to take

There was freaking SHAMPOO AND CONDITIONER IN THE BATHROOM

And “homemade” soap, like exfoliating, lavender and oat milk or something soap, that smelled so delicious you wanted to eat it. 

When you walked out of the bathroom, your entire family was already there, making themselves comfortable in the living room, Beth was actually cooking alongside Carol for the lot of you, and you smiled.

This was so… comforting… so beautiful, it’s like you were a real family. 

You finally saw them staring, and you smiled at them, with your new clean clothes, and your fresh face. 

“And this is how a look all cleaned up, very nice to officially meet you all”, you said comically, and to your relief, they did laugh when you made a 360 degrees turn so they could see the length of your cleanness 

“You clean up nice”, said Michonne by your side

“You tooi”, you said with a wide smile, wrapping one of your arms around her. and she did the same around your shoulders. “I brushed my teeth for like an hour!”, you giggled

“Mee too!”, she said back 

The one person you wanted to look at you the most, just glanced at you and then kept looking at the window. Daryl was always going to be on watch, you believed, especially now, in this new place.

Deanna appeared at the door with a soft knock, her presence being known by the small windows at the door

“Rick I… wow”, as everybody, she was impressed, “I didn’t know what was under there”, you discovered that Rick was quite handsome under all the hair and guts, “sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to stop by and see how you were all settling”, she said looking around, finding all of you there in the livingroom. “Oh my, staying together, smart”

“Nobody said we couldn’t”, defended Rick

“You said you were a family, that’s what you said”, she said with a smile, “it’s absolutely amazing to me how people, with completely different backgrounds and nothing in common can become that, don’t you think?”, she asked

“Everybody said you have gave them jobs”, said Rick

“Yeah, part of this place, looks like the communists won after all”, she said with a chuckle

“You didn’t give me one”, he said

“I have, just haven’t told you yet”, she said, she was so nice it was kinda creepy, “same with Michonne, I’m closing in on something for Sasha, and I haven’t figured out Mr Dixon yet, but I will”, Daryl barely look at her, to keep gazing through the window. “Good night”, she left quickly after.

You looked at the corner of the room and you almost cried when you saw a little crib, just for Judith. You didn’t want to get your hopes up, really, but… you couldn’t lose this. For Carl and Judith, you had to make it work for them

Maggie seemed to read your thoughts, as she squeezed your shoulders with a soft smile.

You found your corner, and you went to sleep for the first time, you slept peacefully, and for more than eight hours straight. 

You couldn’t believe you got to start your day with a shower, like the days of old. And you also couldn’t believe, as your hip felt really weird, when you didn’t put the holdster back on your belt. You felt like you were naked, like something was missing without your weapon, you even thought about grabbing your ax, but then thought better of it. It was not a good idea. 

With that nice soap in the shower.

With clean clothes

you took a deep breath as you left the house, not even a glimpse of the smell of rot, death and blood, which you had grown accustomed to.

You found Daryl seated on the porch, everybody had already left

“You don’t want to see what this place is about?”, you asked him softly

“Nah”, he answered simply, you barely nodded, and walked away, you were curious, and as such, also because of your instincts, you wanted to check the whole place, take mental notes of the weak spots, not even for security, but to have in mind in case you needed to make a run for it. Also, of all the houses

Everybody greeted you, or waved, your face got tired of smiling so much.

But the community was gorgeous, they even had a small pond, connecting a river through it, and many green spaces where you could plant, or keep animals, and beautiful houses, of all kinds and styles.

This was like those houses you found, but ten times better, with a big fence, and solar panels… If you still had your phone, you might even be able to charge it, but you didn’t, not anymore

You chuckled to yourself when you actually threw it at a walker and you managed to make a dent in his rotting skull.

Good times in Atlanta…

From Atlanta to here… seemed like a lifetime ago right now

You spend the day alone, you were good at being unnoticed, so that’s what you did, you sat on clean grass, touched clean water, you enjoyed the soft sun… for the first time in years, you could enjoy being on the outside, safely, not worrying about walkers coming at you.

You didn’t even notice when the sun started to hide, and you returned to the house (you got lost actually, somebody had to give you directions), this place was huge!

Tonight, most of you had jobs, and you were excited to share with the group, apparently, Noah, Tara, and Glenn were going to go on runs, Maggie and Tyresse were going to work with Deanna, Carol was going to cook for people who couldn't, Beth was going to work in the infirmary, Abraham in construction, Eugene was going to work with an engineer, in another stage of your same group “developments”, so was Rosita. Gabriel was minding the church of course. 

She hadn't give jobs to neither Rick, Michonne, Sasha or Daryl, the last one concerned you 

He seemed weary. You saw the rest of the group joining into the community, even Carl had a little group of friends now, but not him, he barely left the house. 

He watched you, as he did before, but this time, stood in the sideline, didn’t mutter a word, didn’t even try to approach you at night, and Rick seemed… also weary, as he should be, given everything that happened.

And even though you got a job you might enjoy, and found peace in the community today… that bitter feeling was still installed in your belly, turning it to knots, you didn’t know what it was.

Tonight, you felt Daryl’s absence by your side, you didn’t like it, you had grown accustomed to having him near, especially at night time, and now he was guarding that baywindow like a guard dog.

You got out of the house the next morning at the same time Carol was talking to Daryl on the porch, but she went down the stairs and started walking away.

Carol was behaving weirdly, dressing all nice, and smiling a lot, you didn’t know if she was just… adapting extremely well, something that she had hid from you, or rather, if she was acting because she didn't trust anybody. 

“I’m gonna hose you down in your sleep”, she said quickly as she walked away

“You look ridiculous!”, he yelled back, he then looked at you and smiled

“Is it weird that I’m even more afraid of Carol now?”, you asked as you watched her walking away. Daryl chuckled

“You’r afraid of Carol?”, you looked back at him with a frown

“Damn right I am”, you said with all the certainty in the world, he chuckled some more. He watched you with curiosity, “I have a meeting with Deanna’s husband, Reg”, you said softly. 

“Good luck”, he said, now uninterested, fixing his crossbow

“Thanks”, you smiled at him, even though he didn’t see it, “see you later”, but he didn't acknowledge you, and it hurt. You walked away from him as well

You were nervous, you had to make this work. 

You were far from an Architect yourself, but you had always been close to the practice, so you were certain that you could make it work.

So you met with… Reginald? everybody called him Reg, and to your surprise, they had met with Noah first, without you. They were waiting for you at a beautiful gazebo near the pond.

“Hey!”, you greeted

“You got ourselves an apprentice!”, he said with a soft smile, he seemed like a great person, he did. He focused on the important things, and he was the one that built that wall. “You two, will help me turn this community, we will make it grow, to fit all the people that Aaron and Daryl are going to bring”

“Daryl?”, you asked with a soft smile, he smiled at you

“He is going to become the new recruiter, well, if he says yes”, he said with a soft smile, and you couldn’t agree more, that was definitely Daryl’s best fit, and you were happy for him.

Today was an exploratory meeting more than anything, he measured your expertise and what you could do. Sadly, you had to learn a bunch of things anew as you didn’t have computers anymore, but nothing good paper and pencils couldn’t fix.

He seemed content with the both of you, and Noah didn't know anything at all, but he was so excited to learn, it was refreshing. 

Could this really work? Daryl getting a job? everybody settling in…

You walked back to the house from your meeting, thinking about cooking something to eat, you wondered if you could just go and ask the pantry for things, how things worked around here. But you also wondered where you could go out there again, and you wanted to. 

“HEY!”

“I SAID STOP!”, you ran to the gates, you did, as you heard screaming and a commotion. You instinctively went for your holster, and then you remembered you didn’t have it with you. 

Daryl had that guy Nicholas on the ground, choking him, RIck was grabbing onto him, and Glenn and Aiden were like in a standoff

Deanna’s son had a bloody nose, so you could only guess Glenn had punched him in the face.

“Hey, what’s going on?”, you asked Daryl once he released Nicholas and pushed Rick away from him

“Nothin”, he said angrily. Of course, this didn’t look like nothing.

You turned back to the group

“RICK’S PEOPLE ARE PART OF THIS COMMUNITY NOW!”, Deanna said out loud, talking to everyone there, “AS EQUALS! UNDERSTOOD?”, she then turned to Rick, “I told you I had a job for you, I want you to be our new constable”, she said to Rick.

“What does that mean?”, you asked Daryl, you truly didn’t know what that meant

“A cop”, he said shortly

“Will you accept?”, she asked him, and Michonne

“I’m in”, she said with a soft smile

“Of course”, Rick said softly. Daryl snorted, and not in a friendly way, in a mocking way, and walked away from you angrily

You grabbed Tara, and took her with you, away from the scene

“What happened?”

“They are dicks, that’s what happened!”, she said angrily, Noah hadn't been with them, he had been with you instead, and you wondered if that changed anything.

Even though Rick seemed more relaxed now.

Oh but you didn’t know.

You didn’t know Rick, Carol and Daryl were plotting to take this palace, you didn’t notice everybody were freaked out, you didn’t notice the signs. 

You noticed their worried faces that night, as you all curled up in your spots, nobody said anything, they talk amongst themselves… it was such a weird stance… you didn’t know what to do now, you didn’t want the family to split, but… you didn't know what to think. Today, the whole day you had been thinking you could have a future here, but maybe, they didn’t think so.

When things were too good to be true, they probably were, Immaright?

And then Rick showed up, with his windbreaker, and in full uniform. Nobody dared to say anything, but you didn’t like the looks on the people’s faces. For you, Rick was already the authority, he was your leader, the group’s leader, so it wasn’t very odd, but the rest of them didn’t think so. 

Something was going on with him as well, as you were curled up on the floor next to Tara and Rosita, and you saw him sneak out of the house with Carol and Daryl.

taglist

@crazyunsexycool

[knoxic]

A kiss may ruin a human life.

Oscar Wilde

-Masterlist- part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4

wc: 2,7k

warnings: sexual tension (?), mentions of death and kidnappings, reader has adhd, horny aaron, miscommunication again. pls let me know if there's more!

a/n: the story changed a bit but it will go back to the first plot eventually! is just that i had a few more ideas and decided to add them here instead of writing another fic. part 3 is aaron's pov so we'll get back to the angst of part 1. no use of y/n.

a/n²: did i make it seem like reader is gender neutral?

Silence.

Nothing but the sounds of your breaths could be heard in the room.

A room that now felt cold and dark, if it was uncomfortable before, now it was unbearable. None of you spoke, you were still waiting for him to say something and he was too shocked to form any coherent sentence.

"If you're not going to say anything-"

"No- i just, don't know where to start." his voice was low, quiet and unsure.

"Start from," you paused, trying to decide what you wanted to know more, "Sunday morning."

"What?" was he playing dumb?

"We got this case on sunday morning, that was when you started acting weird." please Hotch...

"Oh," he still didn't know what to do, but whatever he did now would change your relationship anyway, so, he should probably tell you the truth. "It's because, i- i knew we would have to share a room," he paused to find words that explained what he was feeling but you took it another way.

"What is so wrong about being around me that always gets you like this?" your voice broke a little, and you hated yourself for showing weakness.

"There's nothing wrong!" that came out louder than he intended and he saw the way you flinched, "sorry, but i need you to understand, there is nothing wrong about you. Please just stay quiet so i can finish this?" he pleaded and those usually frowned eyebrows were now raised, his eyes were pleading.

"Okay."

There was a pause, he was gathering his thoughts and giving you both time to calm down.

"From the moment i heard we would be staying together, i knew i would have to get a hold of myself, as a unit chief i couldn't just let go like i wanted to... like i want to," what?

"I love spending time with you, more than i should and it scares me. I thought that if i didn't get too close i would be fine and it worked, until we shared a room for the first time," he sighed, "You were so sweet and caring and it surprised me," that sounded more like a question "i expected that but i didn't expect to... like it so much."

"Hotch-"

"Wait." he glared at you.

When you remained quiet he started speaking again "Ever since you came to my office, i knew i was in trouble." he sighed and shook his head, "When Strauss told me about you i was ready to treat you just like any other agent who came to my unit, but when i saw you... I didn't know what it was about you that kept pulling me in but i didn't want it to stop, being around you healed a part of me that i wasn't aware was bleeding. The way you treated me, with no judgement for what I've done... you treated me like everybody else and still made me feel special... i let myself be fooled by hope, of... what we could be."

...

At this point you were speechless, Hotch has never said so much and your mind was still processing what he implied.

"I know it's wrong, i am your superior, fuck, I'm your boss, the one you should look up to, the one who should take care of you and here i am being the creepy guy." he laughed but there was no humor behind it. "I am so sorry i made you uncomfortable, it was never my intention to let my feelings come forward. If you want to file a complaint against me, i understand."

"Hotch... no." it came as a whisper, you coughed and tried again, "No, but, i still don't know what it means..." fuck, I'm dumb. "Feelings?"

"Feelings. For you."

"Like, romantic feelings?"

"Yes? i mean, if they were harmless i wouldn't have to tell you," with his usual frown back he looked at you unsure, as if you were discussing an unsub's methodology.

"Oh..." harmless? why would it be harmless? him having feelings for you was all you wanted!... file a complaint?

"That is... what i wanted for as long as I've known you." you looked at him not sure what to expect but he kept eye contact, you could see the moment he understood what you meant.

He did not look relieved.

...

"Fuck." he whispered and threw his head back, rubbing his eyes roughly with the pad of his fingers. "What do we do now?"

"I don't know, but from the way you're acting i take it you don't want to do anything..." it hurt to realize he did not want to do something, deep down you knew it wasn't so simple but at the moment you couldn't really think past the possible heartbreak.

"It's not like that."

"It seems exactly like that..."

"I'm just not sure we should act on it, i am not good for you." He raised his voice and turned so he was sitting with his feet touching the floor.

"So we should just pretend this conversation didn't happen?" you said while pushing the blankets and mirroring his position, except his legs were covered by plain black pants. Your grey shorts that barely showed underneath your oversized shirt did not help your fake confidence.

Your question was met with silence.

"Maybe." Yes.

Careful to not let him see how disappointed you were, you kept his gaze, looking just as tough as him.

Under your stare, his resolve almost slipped until you got up, the same way you did after finishing an interrogation. The way you seemed so sure of yourself almost got him believing that what he said didn't affect you. That same sound of your bag opening is what snapped him out of his trance.

"What are you doing?"

"I'll spend the night with Emily." your voice was low and steady. The walls you built up to protect yourself from things that could hurt you coming back up strongly, walls that you used to hide your emotions when you didn't want people to know how you were feeling and my god did they work. He hated to be met with a emotionless expression when you turned to grab something from your bed-

"You don't have to..."

"Yes i do." again, low and steady. "I'll sleep there tonight and tomorrow I'll book another room."

He didn't know what to say, that was the best thing to do but you being away meant he wouldn't get to hear you breathing...

"We only have a few hours before we need to go back to work, you should let Emily sleep." trying to make you feel guilty didn't seem to work as you kept gathering your things. He was getting anxious now and when you passed him to pick up your phone from the bedside table he pulled the device out of your hand. "Stay. it's too late for you to be walking around the hotel." he was hoping that if he used his work voice maybe you'd listen.

"Give it back."

"No."

He was towering over you and the feeling he felt before came back, if you kept looking at him like that, he would break.

He couldn't afford to break.

So he left you standing there, walking to the bathroom with your phone in hand. You stood like that even after he slammed the door, shocked he had really just taken your phone just like your parents did when you were a teenager. After the shock passed you almost laughed at how insane this was, did he really think that this would stop you?

He knew it didn't stop you but he hoped it would. He had taken your phone but it's not like you needed it if you were going to stay with Emily. Looking at himself in the mirror, the eyes he was met with did not seem like him, for the first time in a while he did not know what to do. When he went inside he didn't even know what he was thinking exactly, only knew that he wanted to get away from you as fast as possible without making you leave the room. Looking around, his eyes fell to the same towel he used earlier that now was folded beside the sink, in his rush to take a shower he didn't think much about where to put it but he was sure he hadn't folded it.

You don't remember hearing the lock, if he didn't lock the door you could just go in and get your phone back, even the idea of fighting again seemed appealing, maybe if you fought with him some more your feelings would dissipate...

A shower always helped him take his mind off of things but right now he could barely move without being reminded of your presence. The towel you folded because he had thrown it somewhere carelessly and you knew he would want to shower again before work, your own towel and dirty clothes that laid together on the floor, the liquid soap you used that normally would be kept in a corner with your skin care products but that now was right beside his shampoo, you were also desperate for sleep and yet you made up time to fold his towel... yeah a shower wouldn't hurt.

Hearing the water running somehow duplicated your want to go inside, finding yourself right in front of the door with your hand on the handle when-

"Fuck!" a whispered scream, muffled by the water yet distinct enough for you to understand.

If you were to go in, you would have to be prepared to face him... the door would make noise and there was a chance that maybe the curtain was not closed enough and he would see you coming in, if you were to go in... it would have to be now.

This is definitely not what he planned to do, the initial idea was to take a shower to clean his head from any thoughts of you, not to fill it it more thoughts... definitely not these kind of thoughts. Now he was hard and even more frustrated.

Both his hands were on the wall, his head resting on it while he contemplated what to do, touching himself while thinking of you when you were at the other side of the door right after a fight felt dirty. When his left hand started slipping down a couple knocks echoed followed by your voice, no longer the voice that made him feel small.

"Hotch? can i come in?" he should tell you no, what if you somehow managed to see the evidence of his perverted thoughts?

"Yes." yes please, come in, come see for yourself that I'm just as worst as those guys on the street that you held yourself back from punching.

You were right. The door made a loud noise that made you cringe, looking at the mirror you were met with the damp white curtain, the fact that he was standing naked behind it right now was enough to make you forget why you were here in the first place, a loud buzzing made you remember. Walking quickly to where he had put your phone, right above his towel, picking it up you were met with a call from Rossi and 3 new messages.

"Dave is calling." you figured Aaron had also heard the phone buzzing. "Hello?"

"You're awake!"

"Uhm, yeah..." weird.

"Good, is Aaron with you?" come on Dave, you know he is.

"Yes he is." you were facing the mirror and saw when Aaron reached a hand up to pull the curtain back before letting go, apparently he remembered you were there and he couldn't just get out, especially given his current state...

"Great, i called him 3 times and he didn't pick up" there was a pause, "Thought that was unusual, he usually picks up in the first ring..." he was talking in a suggestive tone but, he often used it when talking about Aaron.

"Oh, he's taking a shower..." no, no, no you shouldn't have said that! he can probably hear the shower running-

"At 3am?" he laughed, "Weird guy, but well, tell him boy genius found something that could help the profile, we're heading back to the station right now."

"Okay, I'll let him know."

Guess you weren't sleeping tonight, at least Aaron did, having a sleep deprived guy driving you wouldn't be good.

"What did he want?" you didn't realize you hadn't said anything after the call ended, snapping your head up you were met with Aaron watching you from behind the curtain, his hair was damp and he looked flushed.

"Spence found something, they're heading back to the station now." he nodded, his wet hair shaking and a few droplets of water falling down his face, it looked obscene really. "Anything else?"

"He said he called you and found strange that you didn't answer," you were avoiding looking at him now but still saw in your peripheral vision when he nodded while humming.

There was a moment of awkwardness until you realized you could just leave, so you did just that.

"Wait!" he called out before you could fully step out of the room, "Can you hand me the towel?"

You didn't answer but still went back inside to grab it, the fabric felt soft and comforting unlike his wet and cold hand when it accidentally touched your fingers.

"Wait for me? I'll be out quick."

"I don't-"

"Please?"

"Sure." you sighed.

...

Closing the door behind yourself felt more relieving than catching an unsub... okay, that was an overstatement but the feeling was there. Not knowing how long it would take for him to be out but aware he only had the clothes he was wearing to bed in the bathroom, you tried to change as fast as you could, having Aaron seeing even more skin would be too embarrassing.

You had done a good work earlier picking up your clothes, all of them were stuffed inside your go bag and you could see a white button up, white tank top and the black pants you wore today sticking out, it would have to do. Deciding to take one step at a time you pulled the shorts down, your shirt was big enough to cover your ass if Aaron suddenly opened the door, thankfully, it did not happen. Taking your shirt off felt a bit too risky, just having the cool air of the room hit your bare back and chest would make you shiver, if Aaron saw it you would be left shaking. Pants buttoned and shirt left for later you picked up your sneakers, boots were too much for a time you were supposed to be sleeping, just as you were finishing tying them the loud noise of the door opening and heavy footsteps filled the room.

"Ready?" he seemed out of breath, you hadn't looked up yet but you were sitting in your bed and he had to walk in front of you to get to his. When he did, you could see the black pants pooling around his feet.

"Not yet."

Picking the shirt and tank top you had throw a little further on the bed you risked a glance in his direction, bare shoulders, pale enough you could make out the outline of where his hand were gripping a second before, his tense muscles were aching even more now, having to interact with you and pretend to not have almost jerked off to the thought of you minutes ago had only made it worse.

Hearing your bed creaking he looked back, he supposed you were walking to the bathroom to change your shirt, oh what he would do to have you change right in front of him... fuck, not again!

Adjusting his pants, again, he tried to focus on the case.

Women around 20-25 were being kidnapped, found dead 3 days later. The case was pretty much like any other but the city decided to not cooperate, the team was stressed and it doubled when another woman went missing yesterday, one of the police officers knew her family and almost started a fistfight with Derek when we took a break, not pleased with the fact that we weren't machines and actually needed to take breaks eventually.

"Now i am." you were back, he hadn't even realized he continued moving while thinking.

"Good. Let's get going."

Now with the work mask put on, both were ready to act like no words were exchanged tonight.

a/n³: i read this like 3 times and i still don't trust my work lol, I'll try to find a beta reader so i can post faster.

[nekoning]

[CW: mentions of grooming and SA]

i'm starting to watch baby reindeer and it's nothing like what i expected it to be and I'm a bit in shock because so far I've never related so much to a portrayal of grooming/SA

honestly none of the shows or movies I've watched before have gotten it just right like this show does, i think it's because most of those I've watched are situations where the victim doesn't develop a bond(? with their abuser and either they are abused by a stranger or a partner becomes suddenly abusive, but not many explore the complexities of grooming and how much it makes the abuse worse, a lot of them also make the abuse the plot of the story and don't focus on what happens after someone survives abuse or the before about what factors can make someone more vulnerable to being victims of grooming, a lot of stories don't focus on these parts because they are messy but they need to be talked about more

there were so many things i unfortunately related to, how being abused by someone you want approval of hurts so much, how you can both be afraid of and also look for comfort in the same person that abuses you, the feeling of wanting to somehow protect this person that has hurt you and blaming yourself. you try to empathize with someone who never had your feelings in mind, you try to find ways to "negotiate" during the abuse and you think it gives you some sense of control, that it means you can deal with this situation. you downplay what happened to you because it's easier to move on than face it.

the other part that is rarely explored in media and that I've only seen it twice before is the sexual confusion and the incessant wondering if you were fucked up from the start or if that person ruined you forever, this topic makes the average person very uncomfortable but it's so important that it's talked about because victims carry so much shame because of it.

brains have strange ways of coping with trauma and a lot of times for victims it means that they feel the need to recreate the abuse they experienced in a setting where they have control of the situation, it also means that a lot of us develop hypersexuality and will put ourselves in risky situations, sometimes without realizing that it's tied to the trauma.

unfortunately society's reaction to these things is...bad, very bad. people that don't understand how trauma works use it to argument that victims wanted their abuse to happen, people also shame those who use kink to cope and heal AND when people see victims actively showing these signs, instead of helping, a lot of people judge without questioning if something is going on below the surface (at least this was my case, when i was very obviously putting myself in risky situations i was seen as someone that had something inherently wrong with him instead of someone that needed help and people did absolutely nothing to put me away from risk!)

the fact that it's the story of a male victim of SA is also relevant bc it's generally seen as less serious, I've been laughed at before when talking about my abuse and people tend to treat it as something you should want to happen to you etc.

anyways i hope more stories of SA are more like this, i hope all these topics are explored no matter how uncomfortable they might be, i hope more stories cover grooming in specific

it's been important to me at least, trauma from grooming can be so isolating because you really only feel understood by people who have gone through the same and it's so messy and confusing and it impacts your life for years, decades down the line..the part of loving hating myself more than i loved her hit me extremely hard because that's what trauma does, it takes away anything good that could happen to you

if you made it to here and are considering watching keep in mind trigger warnings because it was a difficult but necessary watch for me

[soobieedoo]

Formula of Love CH. 7 - failed disguise (written)

word count: 683

finding out that the guy who you purposely cut out of your life, now goes to the same school as you was NOT on your bingo card this year.

you’ve now become even more cautious. Wearing a hat and a mask in hopes of hiding your identity, glancing side to side in the hallways. It’s a bit ridiculous really, he respected the way you wanted to end things despite your lack of reason and it’s not like you insulted him either…at least not that you know of. But still, there’s something dangerous about lee donghyuck and you’d rather not venture into that territory... again. You liked your routines, you talk to the same people everyday, you go to classes, you did NOT need him to ruin that.

letting out a heavy sigh you didn’t know you were holding, you make it to the door of your chemistry class, you feel someone tap your shoulder as you try and open the door. With your heart beating you slowly turn around to see Jeno, Professor Kim’s TA who, according to everyone in class, is the hottest TA they’ve ever seen. Most of the time he just sits at the front of the room or hands out tests and assignments with a smile. You used to think it was annoying, he’s handing you hell on paper with the sweetest smile. But, you’ve grown to like it as there really is something comforting about it.

“um hi?” jeno says taking you away from your thoughts.

“hi?” you’re a little confused as to why he’s talking to you, thinking you’ve done an assignment wrong or failed the quiz professor kim gave the other day, you instantly start to panic.

“Y/N right?” jeno asked taking you away from your thoughts again.

“yeah, did i do something wrong?”

“oh nono! nothing” jeno smiles at you “actually i wanted to ask something! um i have a friend. He recently transferred to NCityU and is looking to speak to a fellow pharmacy student. I know you’re taking this class as a requirement for the degree so-“ an arm wraps around jeno’s shoulder taking him by surprise.

your breath stops.

as you look at him, your heart starts to beat. you pray he doesnt recognize you under the mask or the hat. Already preparing to decline jeno’s offer, he suddenly steps away from jeno and closer towards you.

“hey y/n, how’s it going?” you stay silent at first, frozen, words stuck in your throat. “hello?? earth to y/n” haechan says waving a hand in front of your face.

“s-sorry, hi…i’m fine how are you?”

“good! doing better now actually” he smiles at you, a small dimple showing up.

God you hate this. “i have to go i’m sorry class is starting soon it was nice seeing you donghyuck” “wait y-“ too late. You walk into the room, as haechan stares through the window watching you practically run to your seat.

“dude i had that in the bag, i was going to get her contact info for you. you freaked her out” jeno sighs from the side.

“i’ll get her contact info myself thanks”

“how? she can barely even look at you, i’ll give u 10 bucks if you manage to actually hold a conversation with her” jeno’s smug expression makes haechan laugh.

confident he stares through the window watching as you silently type away at your phone “well u better give me that 10 bucks now. i managed to get her to like me before and i never even met her in real life. what more now that she gets to experience all THIS in person.” he winks at jeno who gives him a disgusted expression in return.

“that might be the reason why she liked you in the first place, because she never actually MET you in real life.” jeno laughs preparing to enter the room.

haechan flips him off as he walks away.

with a slight skip to his walk, he smiles at his decision to move to this university. Determined, he sets a goal for himself.

note: currently preparing to travel to america for the first time to see dreamies!! so i apologize for late uploads coming up! ive been out and about doing last minute things :/ but! still hope u guys enjoy this written chapter :)

taglist: @bloomyroses @lionzyon @ourbeautifulaffair @yewshi @injunnie-lemon @nessaassen02 @dudekiss3r

masterlist | previous | next 𐙚˙✧˖

[slutt4ellie]

Sacred Hearts Entwined

PT2 Faithful Whispers

Ellie Williams x Reader

masterslist

Part 1 -> ✞

Part 3 -> ✞

What do you do when you’re falling hopelessly in love with your best friend.?

Summery: Ellie was supposed to be a friend, are the feelings that are corrupting you worth it? Why did you kiss her, why even risk it. Now you’re going to lose her.

Warnings -> A lot of Homophobia / arraigned marriage/ angst / Controlling parents / d slur is mentioned! / (lmk if I missed anything else!)

Tag list: @a-little-bit-of-everybody @bready101 @lenaloveslesbians

WC: 3.8k

(Not proofread)

(Ellie)

My mouth tastes like iron and everything is numb, it went from pure lust to rage and anger in a matter of seconds. I just keep thinking, “Could I have prevented it?”. Should I have pushed her back as soon as our lips met, tell her this is wrong, everything that my parents would have strongly preferred. Am I the one who fucked up in the end…? It’s not like it matters anyway, I can still hear the muffled yells coming from downstairs, he's arguing with my mom, she's against the boarding school idea, she believes I was corrupted or something, she fully believes they can fix me, no correction system needed. My dad on the other hand wants me gone, he can’t even bear to look me in my eyes. I’m like some foreign alien that just snuck inside our house and took its place as me, I know for a fact as of now he wishes he could just find the “Real me”.

(30 minutes previously) 

As I heard the door swing open I quickly pushed Ellie back, wiping my lips, my eyes now meeting with her father. Shit. I step back looking at him wondering if he even saw us. He quickly talks, his voice strained, filled with anger “What were you guys doing?” Ellie looks at me, her eyes already filled with tears, all I wanted to really do was just hug her, he quickly yells “I SAID WHAT WERE YOU GUYS DOING!” I just shake my head and spit out “Nothing!” My voice is filled with nervousness and it feels like I just embarrassed myself. “I should have known, you guys were always too close, having sleepovers and sleeping in the same bed!” Ellie just spits out wiping her own tears “There’s nothing going on dad! We’re friends!” Then his attention fully shifts to me, he steps closer to the point where I need to step back in order to not make any contact. It’s like something just shifts, like he figured the “truth”.

“All those sleepovers, were you guys-” I almost immediately shut down what he was about to say, my voice now more stable. “No!” And as I finish my sentence he grabs my collar which makes tears instantly form in my eyes. “You ruined her. Ellie wasn’t like this before you.” I hated that argument, we met at six, nothing was even there, none of those feelings were even formed until almost 9 years later. It was bullshit, and for some stupid reason I spit that out “Thats fucking bullshit!”. I covered my mouth right after finishing the sentence, I just dug my own grave and that realization was becoming apparent. His grip on my collar tighten and he gets uncomfortably close to my face “You’re a fucking dyke, and you had to drag Ellie into that.” I can see Ellie step forward, her head peeking over his shoulder, tears still streaming down her face as her eyes get puffy and red “Dad let her go! Please” I can’t help but feel like I ruined Ellies life, I was the one who leaned in and kissed her and now- now we're both going to be sent away.

Unlucky for me Ellie's dad doesn't even pay attention to anything she's saying all his attention is fully focused on me “You’ll never see her again.” The way he says it sticks to the back of mind, because I know it's true, the chances of me and Ellie ever even being friends again is most likely over. So now I start crying. It feels like I just lost everything in less than an hour. Ellie grabs him and attempts to pull him back, but as soon as she even lays a finger on her he turns around slapping her with no hesitation. 

Ellies nose starts bleeding and her cheek glows red, and once his attention isn't on me and his grip is loose I run over to Ellie as she cuffs her nose. I quickly rolled up my sleeve to wipe the blood from her nose. I talk stuttering over every word “fuck- are- Ellie are yo- are you okay?” I’m now starting to hyperventilate on the brink of a panic attack but Ellie just nods fast. Ellie’s dad immediately rushes over to us, and no not to help Ellie, he rushes over to grab me by the back of my shirt to pull me away from Ellie. “LEAVE” He yells at me, but this time I don’t budge, Ellie is still fucking bleeding and all his attention is still focused on me, he won’t even look at Ellie.

I push him back literally just trying to make sure Ellie is okay but before I even can, she spits out “Just leave..” her voice is quivering and cracking, I can tell she just doesn’t want me to get hurt. So I finally stepped back. I can tell just by the way she's looking at me this is goodbye, at least for a while..

(Present) 

I get home and just by the way my parents are watching me I can tell Ellie's parents called them, I assumed they would, at the end of the day as soon as we got caught kissing I knew everything was fucked. “You and Ellie, you’re fucking sneaking around dating” My dad says stepping closer to me, my energy just completely gone and I sigh tiredly not being able to take this outdated homophobic shit. “Me and Ellie are frie-” My mom talks fast, not even allowing me to finish my sentence “YOU WERE KISSING HER, YOU. SNUCK. OUT.” She yells at me standing beside my dad, I can’t even defend myself. What do I even say “We were hugging!” I can’t do anything in this situation. My dad talks again “Pack your bags, we’re leaving in the morning” as my dad finishes my sentence I start tearing up once again. “Where am I even going!?” I yell at them, my respect is now gone, there’s zero point if I'm being sent away. Instead of answering my dad holds out his hand, his palm laying flat. “Phone” I look at him “What?” he now yells “PHONE” I pull it out of my pocket throwing it in his hand before going up the stairs quickly before slamming the door shut. 

I open my closet finding the box with all the stuff I don't want my parents EVER finding, pods, weed, vapes, etc. The one thing that was genuinely the most important thing was my pink Ipod touch mini from when I was 8. I always had it in case I got grounded and wanted to talk to friends, the good thing was I knew Ellie had one too, a blue one she got to match me, so for that reason as soon as I unlock it, I disregard everything else and just start texting her.

You

4:17 - Ellie, are you good??

4:18 - Pls answer 

Ellie 

4:19 - Parents r arguing, i think i'm gonna go to a boarding school

You

4:19 - I’m being sent away

Ellie 

4:20 - What?! 

4:20 - Where??

You 

4:20 - idfk they won't even tell me

4:21 - im so fucking sorry

Ellie

4:21 - why are you even sorry??

You

4:22 - because i started the whole thing

4:22 - If i didn’t kiss u we would be fine rn

Ellie

4:23 - dont fucking talk like that

4:23 - if u didn’t kiss me then i would have been overthinking everything rn

You 

4:24 - well we’d still be able to hang out

Ellie

4:24 - well we can figure it out? 

You

4:26 - Ellie I don't even know where the boarding school is

4:26 - chances r no service, and i wont be able to bring my phone theyre definitely gonna search my suitcase 

Ellie

4:26 - then we’ll send fucking letters idfk

You

4:27 - send letters w no address? 

Ellie

4:27 - js stop??

4:27 - we’ll figure something out dude???

You

4:29 - Ellie..

Ellie

4:29 - stop

4:29 - dont fucking add “…”

4:29 were gna be fine?

You

4:30 - u know love you

Ellie 

4:30 - i know that 

4:30 - i dont wanna lose u

You

4:31 - It’ll be alright, we’ll meet each other again and it will be fine

4:32 - promise. 

Ellie

4:32 - I love you 

Once you see that final message the gravity of the situation becomes way more tense, the last time you saw Ellie she was bleeding from her nose crying . You start packing your bags wiping tears trying to silently cry, not wanting your parents to come in. You caused this whole situation, you knew you did. If you never called her that word, you would have never snuck out, you wouldn't have kissed her, her dad wouldn’t have caught you, and chances are everything would be “perfect” at least to a degree..all you could do is stare around your room now just realizing how half of your room was covered in her

And not pictures, just resonances are her, pictures she drew of you, stuffed animals she bought, clothes you stole that still have her scent on it, everything around you had Ellie in it, she made you who you are. And as you look around your room, your eyes land on that polaroid picture. The picture was of you two, the sunset in the back and you’re just both smiling shoulder to shoulder. 

(Summer, 15 years old) 

The wind was blowing on your skin as your hair flew all around the back of your neck, Ellie was in front of you riding on her bike “Come on we're gonna miss it'' She yells trying to usher you to bike faster “The sun won’t set that fast relax!” You groan trying to push faster. “I don’t care! We’re going to miss it so push fucking faster!” She pushes faster than you so you now have to try and match her pace. “Holy shit! Can you slow down” She shakes her head and just goes faster until you guys finally make it. It’s actually really beautiful, the sun setting reflecting off the water as the pink sky illuminates all their surroundings. “Shit..” You sigh fully out of breath and Ellie just smiles at you barely watching the sunset, then you finally turn to look at her “I did not bike all the way here for you to stare at me Ellie” Her whole face turns red and she looks away “I’m not even looking at you, I just think you look gross when you’re all sweaty” The words were

slightly harsh but you try to laugh it off “Ha ha, when did you become such a comedian!” Ellie looks back at you “Oh fuck off” You smile and walk closer to the water “Wait- what are you doing??” she says looking at you quickly running up beside you  “Well you said I look sweaty so i'm going to go into the water?” Ellie sorta nods at the response “Well we don’t have bathing suits” You smile at the response “Okay?” You say taking off your shirt leaving you in just a bra. Ellie quickly turns around not looking at you. “I-uh, people” Ellie says and you just shrug “No one comes here like ever, it’s backroads?” You take off your jeans throwing them on the sand and shortly after Ellie then does the same as you not turning around since it’s awkward. “Are you looking?” Ellie asks nervously unbuttoning her own jeans “Oh yeah, hardcore staring actually!” You joke not even batting an eye towards her.

Ellie walks into the water immediately saying “Holy shit! Dude its so fucking cold!!” You laugh and impulsively splash her, getting her whole face wet. “Fuck you!” Ellie laughs jumping forward in the water taking you down with her getting you and her both fully soaked “Stop!” You laugh trying to tackle her in the water when you grab her shoulders and you both just stop trying to fight, only focusing on each other. It’s filled with silence, not awkward silence though, just the sound of the waves splashing against the shore and the breathing coming from both of your mouths..neither of you even broken eye contact..

You move your hand on her face moving a loose strand of hair out of Ellie's eyes, her whole face turns red just by the touch of you plus the intense eye contact doesn’t help. Ellie slightly leans in, not enough for it to be deemed weird but enough so now your faces are closer. You basically naturally do the same, so now at this point you're just mere inches from each other's lips. The moment comes to a short end though when a loud honking comes from the street causing you to both flinch back. The honk leads you to talk to fill the now awkward silence “We should head back, suns basically down” You smile backing away from Ellie moving your hands off her shoulder, Ellie just nods not speaking. You didn’t know it but Ellie felt like a complete idiot that day, she just simply wished she leaned in closing the gap between your lips..

(Present) 

You just fully start crying all over the polaroid, the memories flood back and you start to wonder why you guys didn’t just kiss. Let alone act like it happened, even though you guys didn’t talk about that moment you both had a mutual understanding that it would be weird to talk about it again? There was no point. You were always so dumb with your feelings, that's why it took so unbelievably long to finally start to accept that maybe you don’t think of Ellie as just some friend. Your mind is rightfully scattered and you start to think things like “If we kissed then would everything be different right now?” “Would we be together?”. You quickly shut down those thoughts, it’s not what matters right now, you don’t have a time machine and you can’t go back, plus right now you’re way too focused on the fact you have to somehow keep in contact with Ellie you guys talked almost everyday and now there’s a chance that there might be a forever absence of her presence..what are you even supposed to do?

Pack up the 10 years of friendship. Find a guy to marry just to get your parents approval, it’s not fair that way. You can’t just lose her..So found your mind was wondering the whole night thinking

of ways you could be together until you ultimately fell asleep, praying to wake up in an alternate universe where Ellie is holding you, a world where it’s just you and her. 

You wake up feeling groggy and out of place, the sun shining on you through the sheer curtains hitting right on your left eyeball. You groan and sit up not even having a minute of peace before your mom comes into your room, not even knocking. “Get dressed, the taxi is going to be here in 20 minutes” You look at her, reality finally setting again. “Where am I going..?” You try again, looking at her when she finally answers “Boarding school in Europe.” Your heart immediately sinks..”Europe?” Your voice shakes, you make eye contact with her, you want your mom to see how this is hurting you, the tears settling in your eyes. “It’s furthest away from here, so yes.” She looks at you, not an ounce of pity in her voice, she doesn’t care what you think, and there's nothing you can say to change her mind. 

“All this because I kissed Ellie..?” It’s the first time you’re actually saying it out loud and you hate yourself because it feels so wrong, and it's not because you don’t like Ellie, or you completely regret kissing her, it’s because of the look your mom gave you after you finished the sentence. It’s a look that has disgust and utter disappointment lingering all throughout it. It made you feel like you're some monster, who just wished death upon her or something. She replied her voice is still filled with disappointment. “There’s something wrong with you, and these people will fix you sweetie, I promise.” She takes a step forward and rubs your cheek yet you don’t hesitate to push her hand off. “Nothing is wrong with me!” Your mom steps back and looks at you trying to talk to you softly but realistically it was just some condescending tone that tried to convince you that you were in the wrong “Hun, Ellie and you, you guys are both sick, and it’s okay, once you both get help you’re going to understand where all of us are coming from.” You feel like you’re going to explode “Sick” she’s acting like this is some cold that will blow over and a fucking week.

“Can you get out.” You say no longer making eye contact with her, you can't bear to at this point. “What?” She says almost confused, probably thinking “I didn’t even do anything wrong”. So you talk again this time standing up “Well I need to get changed, so can you get out” You say looking at her. She just nods while walking out. You quickly get dressed and grab your suitcase, it hurts to know you won’t see this room for at least a year. 

As you're walking downstairs your dad doesn't even look at you, he just holds open the door and grabs your suitcase, throwing it into the taxi. You look at both of your parents, your mom gives you a hug but you're pity so you obviously don’t hug back. Your dad will not even look at you, it’s like you’re a fucking disappointment in his eyes..

And as you get into your car and drive away, it can’t help but hurt leaving your childhood house, neighborhood, friends, but most importantly Ellie. All the memories would fade and be replaced with new ones. It all sucked, and what was worse was that you didn’t know it now but it would be 3 years till you went back. 

I was sixteen then and now I'm nineteen. As soon as I saw “Welcome to Westborough” it almost felt eerie, my smile just instantly faded . “You okay?” My fiancé chuckles holding my hand. I quickly nod “Yeah of course” I give a simple smile. James. It was all my parents' idea. When you were 17 your parents came up with the golden Idea to get married. It would get you not so focused on her. So that's when that's where he came in. It was my moms friend's son. You’ve met him a few times. He was always nice but marrying him?! Marrying him felt so out of place. You didn’t even know him..so you just kept on denying him and it came to the point where my parents ended up forcing you, they said if you didn’t they would cut all contact, they would start telling your family the real reason why you went to Europe and you would end up losing everyone. So you agreed and at 18 he proposed and you two have been living in Europe for the time being. You felt like you just couldn’t go back to Westborough, too much has happened. 

So when the ones who forced you out of Westborough wanted you to come back to have your wedding you were silently fuming. “Soo you’re going to show me your childhood home?” James asks, smiling lightly, kissing your neck. You just sorta smile “Guess so?” You say looking out the window as you guys pull up to your house with your parents already standing on the porch. You don't even want to get out, you know Ellie most definitely has her own life and it’s probably a low chance she still even lives here but everything about being back seems so scary. 

You get out of the taxi and James goes to get your guy’s luggage as you walk up hugging your mom. You look at your dad and sorta smile, your guy's relationship has never been the same since the situation. You still believe he thinks of you as a completely different person. James walks up and shakes his hand “Hey son!” Your dad smiles at James. You walk into the house and James follows you “Where’s your room?” He smiles looking at you “Just upstairs i'll show you” He follows you upstairs walking in as he puts down your suitcase.  

You look around yourself noticing they haven’t touched anything, it looks like your parents didn’t even go into your room once. James walks over to your desk noticing the polaroid flat on your desk, you turn over to look at him and he softly says “Who’s this?” You walk up to him looking at the polaroid of you and Ellie on the beach and you shrug. “Just an old friend” He looks at her “Were you two close?” You sorta hate yourself for what you're about to say “No not really, just friends for a few months.” You only say this simply because you don’t wanna say why you never told him about a friendship that lasted 10 years, it would be too much for him..and you.. 

It shortly faded into the night, James and your dad went out to bond or something? You don’t even really know they just said that they’re heading out for a little. You look at your watch rubbing your eyes while yawning  “10:47pm” you mumble under your breath standing up..As you walk outside of your room you hear the tv going off from the first floor so you quietly go downstairs to see your mom passed out on the couch.

It sucks because you feel like you should hate her. Your whole life has constantly been controlled by your parents, they sent you away at 16 because you were “sick”. You just try to remind yourself her parents probably made her like this, so you grab a blanket and put it on your mom. You sigh walking to the front door and start putting on your jacket, you just need to walk. So that's what you do for the next 10 minutes until you make it into town, stuff has stayed the exact same, which works out in your favor because you know where the closet bar is! You open the door and there's only like 5 people in now 6 including you..And as you look over at the front bar you notice the bartender isn’t even there, you sorta just groan but reluctantly walk over and sit down. You're just looking down at the bar table when you hear the kitchen door open and a girl says “Sorry to keep you wait-” You wonder why she stopped so you decide to look up.

The girl is no other than Ellie..

A/N -> ts took so long for actually no reason 😭

again there will probably be another part since it ends on a cliffhanger, just lmk if u wanna be in the tag list and i’ll add u!!

I will also probably be making another story, i have a rough draft for it right now but i don’t rlly no what to do with the plot, that story will again also most likely have more then one part!

[emithecharmer]

The Right Guy

Friends to lovers, swearing, talks of weight loss ( 1 time) kissing, fluffy. Sorry for any mistakes!

"Am I like..pretty?" You asked out of the blue, making your best friend tilt his head as he looked at you.

"I mean, yeah?"

"Okay, am I interesting? Or funny?" He nodded, his brows furrowing as you sighed and threw your head back.

"Then why can't I get a fucking call back? I've gone out with 4 different guys, in the span of like- a month, and nothing."

"They're idiots."

"That's what I keep telling myself, but, maybe there's something wrong with me." You pouted slightly, walking over to Hyunjin's floor length mirror.

"I guess I could lose some weight, that might change things."

"Y/n, you don't have to change, you just need to find the right guy." He turned away slightly, rolling his eyes, practically screaming at himself.

"I'm not even sure there is a right guy! I'm so done with men." He couldn't help the giggle that bubbled up in him, trying to subdue it when you turned to him quickly.

"What? Why are you laughing? I'm serious!" He smiled as he held his arms open for you. He stood up as he slowly walked over and let him hug you.

"You're perfect okay? There are some dumb guys out there, and if they're too caught up in their own ways to recognize a gorgeous rose like you when they see one, then I'll just have you to myself for a little while longer." You frowned at that last sentence.

"What do you mean?" He chuckled quietly as he let go, stepping back.

"I'm sure your future boyfriend wouldn't really appreciate that you have a guy best friend, let alone a straight guy best friend." You smiled and rolled your eyes, laughing airily. Hyunjin swore his heart skipped at the sound of your laughter bouncing off the walls of his bedroom.

"Yeah, but you don't like me like that, so it's fine, right?"

"Would you let your boyfriend have a straight girl best friend, or- not let- but like- be comfortable." You paused and he saw your eyes droop a bit as you thought about it.

"I guess not.."

"And who are you to say I don't feel that way about you." You eyes jumped to his, and he saw your posture straighten.

"What?" Your voice was quiet, and it made Hyunjin want to sink into the floor.

"Y/n, I'm the right guy. I'm here and I've waited for so long." He sighed, smiling nervously as he threw his head back in frustration.

"Hyunjin, what." It wasn't a question anymore, it was more of an accusation, and it made Hyunjin a bit anxious that he should have kept his mouth shut.

"One chance, just let me show you how a real man treats a woman. Let me show you how you should be cared for." You were completely silent, and he could feel his heart begging to burst out of his chest.

"Come here." He stayed put, too scared to move, so you did instead. You walked the few steps that were between the both of you, wrapped your arms softly around his neck, and brought his lips down to your own.

It was nothing like you imagined, sure you'd both been harboring feelings, too scared to act on them due to the threat of your friendship being ruined. But nothing could have prepared you for the amount of emotion that Hyunjin relayed through the kiss, as soon as he grasped onto what was happening. When you both pulled away, all you could see was a blurry Hyunjin, who cupped your face, and wiped your stray tears, before bringing you in for another kiss.

When you parted, you both smiled, and wordlessly knew that everything had changed for the better. No relationship was ruined, but rather, a new, beautiful one, was created.

[a-casual-kpopfan]

Reminisce and Regrets

A/N: “Italic” dialogue indicates it being spoken in English. “Normal” dialogue indicates it being spoken in Korean.

Shoutout to @nojisunnomercy for the commission piece, really make me and Ghost to write and go through to make a sequel to Consquences and Regrets.

~~~~~

I made you my everything. Put my life in your hands and you held the strings.

She really was your everything. Don't know who I am anymore.

Let me down every time and I hit the floor.

Even with what she did, you still forgave her back then, entrusting her not to hurt you again.

And you gave me nothing at all. Only empty excuses to try and break the fall.

Despite your forgiveness, she ended up betraying you again. So, I did what I never could to do.

And I cut myself loose from you.

If she didn’t do it… Would you still be with her?

.

.

.

“Hey!”

.

.

.

“Oi, you bastard!”

With a yell, you snap back to reality, the image of her gone from your mind, replaced by your grumpy friend, frowning at you. “The food is going to be cold if you keep staring into nothing like that.”

At that time, you put your earbuds down, and noises start to flood back into your ears. The clinking of utensils hitting each other’s and the plate. Chattering from nearby tables. Sounds of people walking and cars driving on the road.

No longer are you drowned in your own thoughts. You’re back to reality: a small café near your workplace, where you and your friend decide to have lunch.

“You can just start first you know.” You shrug. “Didn’t have to wait for me.”

“Bro, I already finished half of mine, and you haven’t even touched yours.”

“Oh.” Looking down onto the table, you barely touch your food while your friend is almost done with his.

“You know, it’s not like we are strangers or anything.” Your friend lets out a sigh. “I’m worried about you dude. You haven’t been like this since the first week that you arrived here, and that was years ago!”

“Yeah, well, you know I got cheated on by my ex, what else do you need to know?” You chuckle lightly, starting to dig into your already cold meal.

“The details! The beauty is in the details, my guy.” Your friend responds with a chuckle, which morphs into a worried smile “Don’t you think let it out is better than keeping it all in?”

“Well... I’ll think about the offer, but thanks anyways.” You smile at your friend. A bit mischievous, but a good person at heart. You know he only has your best intention in his mind, and you are grateful for it. But you are not about to ruin her image, it’s the least you can do for her, even if she betrayed you twice.

“Anyways, I got us tickets!” Your friend decides to change the subject, tapping something on his phone before showing you the image of 2 tickets on his hand. “For what, exactly?” You think you know what those tickets are for, but you pray to God that you are wrong, just this one time.

“For the Loona concert!”

Fuck.

You swear in your head. It’s bad enough that the news of their tour, and images of them circulating in twitter inadvertently got you thinking about her again, after all those years. Now attending a concert and seeing them live?

God knows what could happen.

“How did you even get your hands on this?” You ask purely out of curiosity as to how your friend managed to acquire the tickets. You know how fast these tickets sell out. “Heh, what can I say? Lady luck was on my side that day~” Your friend looks incredibly proud of himself.

“So… Who are you going with?” You ask, a futile attempt in hopes that you might not have to go. “You, of course.” You groan at his answer.

“Come on, I know you want to attend it. You’re Korean, for god’s sake!” Your friend beams at you. “Most people don’t even recognize me as a Korean.” You counter. “That’s because you grow your fucking hair and beard out. They look good on you by the way, paired with those glasses-” He does the typical chef’s kiss motion “but just saying.” Your friend nearly explodes, but in a playful way, as he points out your distinct changes.

“I get your point, and?”

“And it might be a nice chance to use your mother tongue again. You’ve been using English ever since you got here, and God bless you for being fluent in English because none of us know a lick of Korean, I just feel like it’s unfair for you.”

“You really don’t have to do that.” You smile lightly. Amongst the various coworkers you worked with when you first arrived, only this guy stuck with you through thick and thin, inadvertently ending up as your best friend… Still, he can’t replace her, but he is good to you, and you gratefully accept that. What you don’t want to accept is the tickets.

“But-”

“Nah ah, no buts! I already paid for the damn tickets; I can use it however I want. And I want you to go with me on that day, and that is final!” Your friend stares at you with his fake aggressiveness that you are oh so familiar already. And you know that he won’t budge at this point, no matter how much you say to him.

“Alright, you win. I’ll go with you.” You let out a light chuckle, to which your friend also smiles at you. “There we go, couldn’t you be like this earlier?”

“Shut up.” Both of you laugh at the banter while enjoying the rest of the lunch. You can’t help but feel dreaded at the notion of seeing her, or the girls again, but they might not recognize you with how much you’ve changed. Ignoring the dull pain in your heart at the thought of them not recognizing you, you still think that it would be for the best. You are not the same as you were back then.

Not anymore.

-----

“Yah! Yeojin! Sit back down, why are you jumping around??”

“I’m so hungry… Do we have anything to eat? Hey, are you listening to me?”

To say that the bus is chaotic would be an understatement.

In typical Loona fashion, the girls are completely turning the bus upside down with their shenanigans, like they have an endless reserve of energy. Well, most of them, anyways.

Sitting at the far back of the bus, Hyeju watches them silently. Per usual, Hyeju isn’t one to participate in the chaos as much as the others, but there’s another reason for this.

See, after the incident with you, it took Hyeju a long time to earn back the trust of the girls again, some longer than others. Thankfully the members gave Hyeju another chance, but things were never quite the same.

Like how cracks can still be seen on a fixed object.

Her mistake has left scars. Some deeper than others.

She then takes a glance at Heejin who is also not partaking in the chaos, but just looking outside the window with a blank stare. Heejin never really did forgive Hyeju. She only held in the anger inside of her for the sake of the others, but with observant eyes, it wasn’t hard to recognize Heejin was avoiding Hyeju.

And honestly, despite how hurtful it is, Hyeju can’t bring herself to be angry at Heejin for that.

You and Heejin were basically glued together.

She introduced you to the girls.

She was the one that was with you through thick and thin.

But in the end, she had to give up on him for Hyeju’s sake.

What did Hyeju do?

She betrayed you.

The reason why you decided to move abroad while cutting off any form of contact.

It’s been 3 years since then.

Hyeju sighs to herself, looking outside to the moving scenery. Three grueling years without you by her side, they say that you never know what you truly had until you lost it, Hyeju understands it fully, now that she lost you.

She never quite realized just how involved you were in her life, until you left. The apartment was never quite the same without you, without your warm touch, it lost its homely atmosphere, now it’s just a cold, empty room. Meals weren’t the same without your soft voice, humming and listening to each of her daily rants, the bed felt cold without your hug, pulling her in and reassuring her that you were always with her.

Why did she do it? Why did she betray you? Even after 3 years, that question still lingers in her mind, as a reminder of her own mistake. She simply took you for granted. After the first time, you were gracious enough to give her your full trust again. And she… She thought that she could get away with it as well. How could some instant gratification be compared with stability?

She was wrong, so, so wrong. She was wrong to even entertain that thought, to even meet up with that man, to be seduced by his mere words.

And that made her lose the dearest thing that she had.

You.

-----

Well, here you are.

Standing in front of the venue, instead of all the excitement that you should be feeling, all you can feel is impending doom or anxiety in short. You start to question yourself repeatedly, “is this a mistake? Should you turn back? Why are you even here-”

“Dude! Less thinking and more walking!” You feel a hand striking your back, nearly making you stumble onto the ground. You glare to the side at your friend, who is smirking at you.

“You’ll thank me for this one day, now let’s get going.” He pulls you to stand straight again, before pushing you into the venue.

“Here goes nothing, I guess.” You mumble, mostly to yourself to brace for what is to come. “See? You’re already speaking in Korean! I know you’re excited, you don’t have to hide it from me~”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” You let out a sigh, starting to walk into the venue on your own without your friend pushing you. “Let’s head in, or else we might be stuck outside for a while.”

“I heard you, let’s go!” Your friend’s energy seems to remind you of a certain bunny, causing you to chuckle slightly.

The walk inside the venue is generally uneventful, if you ignore all the crazed fans with the merch gossiping among each other. As you do your best to ignore them, because everywhere you look, you see their damn faces.

On the shirts, printed on handheld fans, posters.

God, what in the actual fuck.

You thought you could handle this, seeing them again, but just the sight of them, of her, on the poster, already makes you feel sick to your stomach. Three years, three long years, and you are still haunted by the memories of that day. Three years without seeing them, three years of you, changing yourself in order to not be weak anymore. Yet just a picture of them, and the wall you’ve built so meticulously has already started to crumble slightly.

“Dude, you alright?” Your friend doesn’t miss the faint pained expression on your face.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m ok, my stomach is just a bit hurt, that’s all.” You harden your resolve once again before reassuring your friend with a slight smile. Your friend says nothing of the matter, but you feel his gaze on you as you both move to your seats on the inside of the stadium.

In an attempt to distract yourself from the fans and pictures, your eyes dart around other places, trying to find a safe haven where you don’t have to look at all the fans and pictures of the girls. You eventually find it, but you don’t know if it’s really a ‘safe haven’.

You spot a figure looking like a man, his black hoodies and jeans a stark contrast from the crowd. Given that you are also dark colored clothes, you can’t say anything about the man. But there’s just something about him, something that you can’t put your hands on, for some reason, he feels familiar.

“Dude, why are you staring at a stranger?” Your friend elbows you in the chest.

“… Nothing.” You disregard your uneasiness to get back to the matter on hand. “I just accidentally look at that direction.” Trying to play it off and walk off with your friend to find your place to watch.

“Pfft, yeah right.” Without looking, you can feel his eyes roll at you. “Let’s head inside before someone call the police on you for being a creep.” Silently, you take one last glance at the man in hoodie, before joining your friend at the seating area of the venue.

“This… Feels weird.” Mumbling to yourself, you look around the place. Now that you think about it, you rarely ever watch their performances from the audience’s point of view. Being a close friend to a certain bunny, and later, boyfriend of a certain wolf, you spend most of the time backstage with them, watching them either on the TV in the waiting room, or directly behind the backstage.

You never had the chance to watch from the audience due to your relationship with the girls, you were important to the members. A big brother, a drinking buddy, a listener, a friend, best friend even, and then boyfriend to her. They couldn’t let you stay in the audience during their performances.

Somewhere deep inside of you, you missed those days, days you spent with the girls, taking care of them and having fun with them, to be with the one you love, no, loved.

You find it hard for yourself to forgive her, you already did that once, after all. All the love and energy spent on her, to be reciprocated with betrayal. Not only once but twice. Who does that kind of thing? Who betrayed the trust of someone who loved them very dearly that easily?

The more these thoughts resurface, the more your heart ached. Not for her, but for the relationship that you lost because of her. How could you stay with the girls, now that your relationship with one of them is strained? They know her longer than they know you, so whose side are they going to take?

While you fall back into your deepest thoughts, you fail to recognize the venue’s light dimming, as screams begin to echo out from the fans. Only when you hear their voices do you awaken from your thoughts, to be greeted by the girls standing on stage, already performing the first song with the fans chanting along with the music.

You turn to the side, to also see your friend excitedly chanting along with his broken Korean, much to your amusement.

As for you, you were never one to like the crowd, so you just stayed seated, watching the performance with mixed feelings in your heart.

Your eyes soon glued onto her.

Your ex, the one you loved so much, but also the one who broke your heart into pieces. She seems to be doing ok, you thought. Her stage presence is much better than before, and so is her confidence. Despite projecting a cold image, she has always been somewhat timid behind the curtains. It took you many hours of encouragement and pep talks to give her the confidence boost she needed, and to see her like this… You can’t help but be proud, just a little bit.

Before your mind can start treading into forbidden memories, you turn to another person.

Your “Bunny”.

Well, you don’t think you have any right to call her that anymore, after all, it was you who cut her off when you moved overseas. Admittedly, it wasn’t right for you to just cut her off like that, when you and she have shared so many things together, the both of you going way, way back. But in your emotional state, you couldn’t bear to see or hear anything that would be remotely related to your ex. And so, in a fit of rage and depression, you changed your number, cutting off every relationship that you had in Korea, except for your family.

As the concert goes on, you barely pay any attention to the performance itself, too busy drowning yourself in your thoughts as you drift back and forth, in and out of your head, between happiness from seeing the girls again, to sadness that you’re seeing your ex again, to depression and guilt of you cutting them off from your life.

Before you even know it, the concert is nearing its end, with the girls doing the encore song while having fun on stage.

I don't need nobody to move my body

All me with no strings attached

I don't wanna be somebody who

Lets somebody hold me if they hold me back

I just wanna dance, dance

Dance on my own (dance on my own)

You can’t tell if there is a hidden message to this song or something, but you feel like this song just hit a little bit too close to home. Maybe that’s why you’ve been looping it a lot these days. And it’s hitting you hard right now, seeing that your ex is one of the people singing it on stage as well.

How ironic is that?

When she was the one that betrayed you and now singing that she can be by herself? You tighten your fists as tears start to gather in your eyes as rage and sadness begin to cloud your mind. How can she sing that so-

No.

Before you can go any further, you mentally restrain yourself. As expected, you’re losing control over your emotions because you can see the worried look on your friend’s face as he glances over to check up on you.

“Bathroom.” You manage to utter one word before standing up and leaving your seat, and your friend behind.

“Fuck.” You swear to yourself once you enter the bathroom. Making your way to the sink, you splash your face with water in some false hope of cooling down your mind. “Get it together.” You look at your drenched face in the mirror.

 “It’s almost done, just a little bit more.” You talk to yourself in the mirror, like some madman who’s off his meds. Luckily, no one is here to judge your weird behaviour.

After a few more minutes of talking to yourself, you gather enough courage to return to your seat. But right as you leave the bathroom, you see the man in black hoodie from earlier walking by.

Now, as any normal person would do, you are going to return to the seating area to calm down an undoubtedly very worried friend. But once again, your gut feeling is telling you that this guy is bad news. And your gut feelings are usually never wrong. After all, it was your gut feeling that made you suspicious of cheating in the first place.

So, you decide to trail behind the guy, lighten your steps in order not to make any sounds. The man just keeps walking forward, his steps heavy and hurried. He’s walking with a purpose, there was a destination in mind, and you can’t help but keep following him, all the way to the backstage area.

Seeing how the guy knows how to avoid security, your suspicions are confirmed by now, but for safe measure, you kept your distance from him.

Then you heard noises, more specifically, chatter and laughter. You can recognize their voices everywhere, even if you aren’t up to date with them anymore.

Oh no.

The man starts to pick up the pace after he hears the voice heading towards a fork in the hallway, prompting you to do the same. You see him pull something out from his hoodie’s pocket. You can’t see what it is, but it’s shiny, you start sprinting after the man now.

You’re catching up to him. But he’s also getting very close to the girls, their laughter can be heard closer and closer.

Faster.

Now’s the time that you put all the efforts you made in the gym to good use. With a short burst, you catch up to the guy, and promptly crash your shoulder into him, pushing him into the wall in front of the girls just as they arrive, earning screams and yells from them. But you can’t hear them.

With the collision, the both of you fall onto the ground, the object the man was carrying seconds before fall off his hand, landing on the ground. A pocketknife.

The man glares back at you, his hood already fallen, yelling “You motherfucker!” in fluent Korean, stunning you for a brief second.

Because, you know this man.

He was the one that Hyeju cheated on with.

That brief stun period is enough for him to land a kick in your face, before scrambling for the knife. Thankfully, the pain is enough to wake your senses up, leading you to get on your knees and lunge for the man, using your entire body weight to land onto him, before your arms quickly find their way around his neck, tightening the chokehold you have on him while he struggles to break free by bashing his elbows against your ribs.

You grind your teeth and tighten the hold even further, ensuring the man has no way to escape, before you feel him going limp on your arms, and you being pulled out someone, presumably the security.

Looking at the unconscious guy, you smile faintly to yourself, maybe those Jiujitsu classes weren’t that useless after all.

Everything immediately afterwards is somewhat of a blur to you, not to mention the adrenaline subsiding and the pain kicking in. The fact that you encounter not one, but the two people responsible for betraying your trust back then and in such a situation as well.

From what you can deduce, Hyeju probably cut contact with him out of guilt, and him being constantly denied contact probably drove him crazy. Looking at the unconscious guy again, you can’t help but let out a sigh. What can you say?

Karma’s a bitch.

Although you feel a tinge of relief learning that small piece of knowledge, you still don’t particularly feel like you are in the mood to answer some questions from the security.

But you are cautious enough not to stand near the girls though, in case they recognize you because they sure did recognize the other man, as evident by Hyeju’s trembling. As happy as you are to see the girls up close again, you don’t think your heart can take any more than this, so, you take what you can get.

After a brief question, you start to head back to the seating area, your head thinking of what excuse to use for your worried friend. Before you leave though, you hear the voice of the girls calling for you, and as much as you want to just ignore them, that would be too rude of you.

“Thank you so much for helping us, mister.” Haseul speaks up for the girls.

“It’s nothing, I just did what anyone else would do.” You smile lightly.

“But your glasses were broken because of it, was it not?” Indeed, your glasses were broken, but you don’t really need glasses to function day to day and you just want to get out of here as fast as possible.

“I can still see fine, so don’t worry Miss. Instead, I think you should focus on comforting your friend over there, she seems quite shaken, no?” Your attempt to divert the conversation is a success as all the girls turn to the shaken Hyeju, talking amongst themselves before heading back, not forgetting to give you a small bow when they leave.

Except for one person though.

“Oppa.”

Shit, of course it’s Heejin. That girl has always been observant when it comes to you. But that isn’t enough for you to give up.

Keeping up with the façade of not knowing Korean, you pretend to not hear it and just keep walking. You can hear her calling you “oppa” repeatedly again. But you aren’t going to stop. The moment you cut her off, you stop being best friends. Not anymore.

“Pooh, is that you?”

Pooh.

Such a stupid name.

Yet, you stop dead in your track at the mention of that name, no one has ever called you by that in years. It was from way back in their childhood. Something your parents lovingly call you due to your chubby figure back then. Something that Heejin also called you, joyful of having another ‘victim’ being called by a nickname, after gaining the ‘Bunny’ nickname from her parents. At least, all the way up to when you started dating Hyeju, at least.

That name should have stayed buried in the past. Why did she- No, the question here should be, how did she figure you out?

“You look surprised.” Standing frozen in the spot, you can see Heejin walks into your view from behind, smiling lightly. “Did you really think that, by growing out your hair and beard, and bulking up, that I would not recognize you?”

Her eyes look up to yours, and you can see the anger, the disappointment in her eyes, but also relief and genuine joy upon seeing her best friend again. “Was our friendship really that shallow to you, Pooh?”

Guiltily, you can’t bring yourself to face her directly, your eyes diverting from her face. You’d rather look at anything else than to see her right now, if not you feel like the wall that you’ve spent years building might not collapse on the spot.

“You don’t have to say anything.” She whispers. You can see streams of tears rolling down her cheek. Your heart hurt more at the notion of Heejin crying, especially because of you. “I’m glad that I got to see you again, even if it was for a moment.” You feel her hand resting on your cheek, gently caressing it with her thumb going along the grooves of your beard.

“My goodness, you’ve really changed, haven’t you.” A small chuckle. “Goodbye, Pooh.” As you feel your palm leaving your face, you can hear the crumbling of the walls surrounding your heart. Years of steeling yourself, but all it took was just a moment with Heejin to bring it down.

“Wait.” You utter, your hand grasping onto hers to prevent her from leaving. Before she can react, you pull her into a tight hug, whispering to her. “I’m sorry, Bunny. I’m sorry.”

Taken back by your action, Heejin seems to be silent.

One second passed by.

Two seconds.

And then you can feel her body trembling as her arms try their best to hug around your huge frame, her face buried into your shoulder as she lets out choked sobs.

“How could you leave us like that? Leave me like that?” She cries into your shoulder. “Was our time together not even worth it for you?” Her grip on you turns tighter. “How could you…”

Her words are like a knife piercing your heart, you know you’ve done something wrong to her and the others. So, all you can do is try to compensate for it. There’s no turning back now, Heejin would not let you leave if you don’t leave her your phone number, and the girls are going to know about this sooner or later.

The girls… Are you ready to face Hyeju again? After all this time?

You forcefully stop yourself from thinking further. That can be dealt with later. You have a crying bunny to appease.

-----

As expected, after a good 10 minutes of crying, Heejin gave you 2 options: either give her your number, or you follow her back to her hotel. Without any real options, you reluctantly give her your number, only then was she satisfied enough to let you leave.

After that, you had to deal with the situation that was your worried friend. Thankfully, he bought your excuse of being stuck in toilet due to constipation and the both of you part way after chatting for a bit.

Which brings you to right now: lying flat on your couch, physically and emotionally exhausted from the chaotic evening. You just want to take a long, long sleep now.

Before you can even drift off to sleep, your phone begins to ring nonstop. Looks like the night isn’t over yet.

“Hello?” You pick up the phone.

“You still awake?” You can hear Heejin’s voice from the other side.

“Yeah, thanks to a certain someone calling me.”

“Hehe~ Anyways, I’m only in the city for tomorrow before heading to our next destination, can we meet?” Despite performing for around 4 hours straight, you can still feel the energy in her voice. Unconsciously, you start to smile as well, infectious of her energy. Just like old times.

“Lucky for you, I have tomorrow off, so let me sleep for now and maybe I’ll see you tomorrow.” Despite losing contact for so long, the two of you still converse like nothing ever happened. Like you were never apart. Joking and teasing like the old times.

“You better show up, you hear me?”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it. Go get some sleep Bunny, it’s been a long evening.”

“Mhmm, see you tomorrow, Pooh.” Again, with the nickname. You feel like you’ve already outgrown it. Even your parents don’t call you that name anymore, but Heejin keeps on using it, and you don’t know why.

“Goodnight.” Deciding that it’s been long enough, you hang up first, and without even moving to the bedroom, just lay on the couch until sleep takes you.

-----

“Ah, wait!” Heejin pouts, looking at her phone. “This guy, still hanging up like that, maybe he didn’t grow that much after all.” Even while complaining, Heejin still has a smile plastered on her face.

When you left them 3 years ago, cutting off all contact, she was devastated. In one night, she lost her best friend of 20+ years, and her crush. It was with the joint effort from the rest of Loona that she is still willing to co-exist with Hyeju.

Even as groupmates, she can never forgive Hyeju for what she has done to you. Who would she side with: a groupmate of a few years, or a best friend of 20+ years? Being an idol might be her dream work, but she would never abandon you.

Ever.

And now, after years of sulking and wallowing in depression, she’s met you again with a stroke of luck. Though she can tell that you have changed a lot throughout the years, something just can’t be changed. Like how you were willing to hurt yourself to save others. Heck, you just saved the girls this evening after all.

It’s regretful that she can’t stay here for long, but now having a way to contact with you again, she will make sure to make full use of it-

“Unnie?” She turns to the open door, being caught off guard while thinking to herself. She sees Hyeju standing just outside the door. “What do you need?” Despite her best effort, Heejin’s voice still comes off as quite cold, which is understandable.

“Just now, you were talking with oppa, weren’t you?” she asks with a bit of trembling in her voice. “And it was him who saved us this evening?”

Heejin scoffs, not wanting to let Hyeju figure anything out. “Just a friend, not him.”

“But you only called one person ‘Pooh’.

Heejin’s eyes widened at that. “How much did you listen?” Hyeju turns timid at her glare. “The- the whole thing…”

Heejin faces palms herself. “And what do you want?” She isn’t trying to hide the venom in her voice anymore. “You betrayed him, twice at that. What more do you possibly want to do to him?”

Gathering her courage, Hyeju looks back at Heejin defiantly. “I want to…”

A/N 2: teehee, here’s your 5k words xD

[romanarose]

Why Did You Stop?

Steven Grant x Gn!reader

Romana's 1000 follower celebration

Join my tag list to be tagged in more content!

requested by @soonknight

"hi romana, congrats on 1000! you deserve it and I love your writing! I wanted to send you a request but I'm on a side blog and hate doing anons... I'd love to see a drabble with steven and "why'd you stop?" I'm just in the mood for some fluff tonight, idk. thanks!"

Summary: While locked out of your apartment, your neighbor, Steven, kindly let's you stay over at his flat that night.

************

"Excuse me, are you alright?"

You wake up to a pretty sight; Steven Grant, your neighbor, waking you.

And the blinding hall lights. Those were annoying.

"Oh, hey Steven." You smile at him sitting up.

"Everything okay? I'm sorry to wake you, love, but I was just worried."

"Y-yeah, yeah I'm fine. I just locked myself out of my apartment is all. Sleeping out here for tonight."

The look of horror on his face make you giggle. "Oh god, no! Why didn't you knock on my door? I'm glad I ordered some late dinner" He held up his take out. "C'mon, up you go" Steven began to hoist you off the couch, even picking up your coat that you were using as a blanket. "Can't believe you didn't come see me. Absolutely ridicules, as if I don't have a perfectly good apartment just across the hall for you to sleep in."

Steven continued to murmur about how you were always welcome over as he set you up on the couch you were all to familiar with after arguing with him over who was going on the bed. You simply refused, you would not disrupt the poor man's sleep. He needed it! Plus, he had a whole ruetine.

You'd been around Steven and his apartment enough that he felt he no longer had to hide the sand and chain and duck tape from you, all the times you came over to watch movie's this last month you saw his place just as it was, mess and quirks in all. You liked that he trusted you with it.

Soon enough, you found yourself bundled up on the couch with the neighbor you'd been sporting a crush on since forever, and as usual, your bodies were pressed up close with Steven laying on your lap. It wasn't long until he fell asleep on you, just as you suspected he would. Steven almost always did, needing his rest so badly, so you'd taken to lulling him to sleep yourself by gently scratching his scalp, massing your fingers through his beautiful thick curls. If he didn't wake by the end of the movie, you would try to make a quiet exit and leave him on the couch with a blanket. Tonight, you were hoping he'd wake eventually so you could send him to bed, but for now you took the time to simple admire him. He real was handsome, so, so handsome it was nearly painful, your heart aching for him, to touch him, to be with him... but if you told Steven that, would you lose moments like this? moments when you felt so comfortable, so safe, so at peace... you'd miss it all so much.

"Why'd you stop?" Steven's voice was soft and small below you, and it's then you realize his eyes open, watching you watching him...

"Oh! Oh sorry, Steven" You go back to scratching him, but he keeps looking up at you, his brown eyes large and gentle.

"You looked sad, darling. Anything wrong?"

"No, Steven, nothings wrong"

He didn't believe you. Steven sat up, his face close to yours. "No, somethings on your mind. What is it?"

Still, you hesitate. You could tell him... but you could also ruin it all. "Well... I was just thinking... and... and you can say no and I don't want this to ruin our friendship but... maybe I could take you on a date sometime?" You held your breath.

Steven's face was unreadable besides surprise. "You... you want to go on a date? With me?"

You couldn't help wringing your hands together. "Yes? I mean, if you want to. If you want to remain just friends then that's-" You were interrupted by the most unlikely of events. Steven Grant kissed you.

His lips on yours, you relax into him, opening your mouth slightly for the kiss to deepen just a bit. Nothing salacious, nothing raunchy, simply you and Steven feeling your passion for one another.

"Darling, I'd love to go on a date with you. But I'm taking you."

You smile at your sweet Steven, so beautiful and so kind. He was finally yours.

************

This is inspired by the time during winter break i got locked out of my dorm bc I lost my keys at work and a kind coworker drove me home and i was able to get into the building bc my student ID by not my dorm room. The RA n duty never answered my damn call. I was mad. lol. anyway i didn't let it get me down, i made due and slept on a couch and was greatful i had a warm place to sleep in the -30 temps but Fen actually gave me this idea for Stevenw hen I told them about it XD

thanks for everyone being patient on these, my anxiety ha been like. severe. i dont want to be dramatic but it's been bad bad bad all summer and im honestly struggling. I appriciate the patience and the understanding that i gotta do it when inspiration strikes and im feeling it.

@fandxmslxt69 @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @whatthefishh @k-ra @eyelessfaces @ivystoryweaver @steven-grants-world @campingwiththecharmings @ahookedheroespureheart @littlenosoul @runa-falls @lokisv7ikrie @mikaelak

[rosyl12620]

Yandere Kenma Kozume x reader

I’m gonna be trying a different writing style!

RED IS KENMA’S POV

WHITE IS YOUR POV

————————————————————————

Kodzuken is your absolute favourite streamer. He played all your favourite games, was super entertaining to watch, and even invites his friends over to play with him sometimes.

Y/N-san is my biggest fan. She always watches my livestreams and comments on them. Even if it’s at 3 in the morning. She seems so similar to me. I want to meet her.

You’ll be going to a convention that Kodzuken is scheduled to be at. You’re so excited to finally meet your favourite gamer in person. He even started to reply to some of your comments on the days leading up to the convention.

I hope Y/N-san is going to attend the convention. Just in case she doesn’t I’ve already replied to her comments and I even found out where she lives. It’s also in Tokyo.

It’s finally convention day! Kodzuken, or as he prefers, Kenma was so nice! You couldn’t believe you actually met him. Kenma said he knew who you were and that he was grateful that you always watched his streams.

I finally saw her. She’s beautiful. She’s perfect. I know Y/N-san will only see me as her favourite gamer. I don’t want that. I want her to be mine. Forever. We’ll play her favourite games together everyday.

Kenma’s been texting you ever since the convention. You always loved receiving his texts. They were always so sweet. You’ve even been invited to join his stream and play with him in his private servers from time to time.

I talk to Y/N-san often now. She plays with me sometimes in my private servers. Obviously she doesn’t know that I know where she lives. One day I will kidnap her, to keep her for myself.

Kenma-kun’s texts have been getting a bit strange lately. You were sure it’s nothing. But he’s been acting protective. Maybe it’s for the best if you stopped responding to him as often.

Y/N-san is ignoring me. She doesn’t even watch my livestreams anymore, no matter when it is. Did I do something wrong? I didn’t intend to take her for myself so early but I have to. I can’t live without her.

When you woke up, you were lying in a bed. You sat up and looked around at your surroundings. The room was familiar. The room you always saw as the background of the livestreams you loved to watch. Kenma.

Y/M-san looked so sweet lying in my bed. I wish I could stare at her longer but I had a stream that Shoyo specifically asked the time for. Y/N-san will be safe in my bed anyways. I’ll keep my ear open if she wakes up.

Kenma was ending a stream. He slowly turned his gaming chair around to face the bed. You cried for help or for at least an explanation. It sounded so unreal. You couldn’t believe your favourite streamer/gamer was capable of kidnapping you.

I know Y/N-san is still in denial. She’ll see reason. For now I want to play her favourite game with her.

You were practically threatened to cuddle beside Kenma and play your favourite game with him. It was torture for you. It’d be more enjoyable if he’d invited you normally.

Playing with Y/N-san with her cuddling with me is the best thing I’ll ever experience. After we were done playing I told her something. Y/N-san will know now. How much I love her. How much I want her.

“Y/N-san, I brought you here because I love you. I don’t want to hurt to you. But if I have to I will. It’d hurt me too so please behave and stay here with me. That way I’ll have you forever and I’ll make sure to keep you happy.” Kenma had said.

You don’t believe him but here you are. 2 years later, playing video games with your captor and acting like the ‘perfect’ girlfriend for him. You hated every second of it. But with his level of influence, he’d ruin your life if you tried anything.

I knew Y/N would understand. She’s always so perfect. I knew I’d have my way. Now we’ve been together for 2 years and our anniversary is coming. I plan to surprise her and let her out of the house on that day. She’ll love her surprise.

You knew your freedom was done for.

I’m so happy that Y/N is with me.

Forever…

Forever…

[strawberrymilk-sunshine]

Happily ever after

What does Idia's hair feel like. Does it feel like fire? How does it not burn anything? I have many questions about Idia's hair, but none of them will ever be answered. How sad.

Not proofread sorry!!!!

Warning(s): yandere/stalker Idia, fem reader, stockholm syndrome, implied pregnancy (at the very end)

You met a guy online recently. He calls himself Gloomy Samurai, he's cool and all, but he can be very unintentionally creepy sometimes. But you assumed you were misunderstanding him. After all, it is hard to understand tone over the internet...

But you were wrong about him.

He knew a lot about you. A lot more than you thought he knew. He knew your address, your age, the colour of your hair and eyes, despite you not telling him any of that. Oh, but of course he never let you know he knew that... no, you'd think he was a creep! Your interest in him would drop to zero, he'd get the bad end!

That's why he can't let you know. He'll get your good end for sure. After all, dating is just like a game... and he is very good at games.

gloomy_samurai: where do you live btw gloomy_samurai: nothing specific obviously gloomy_samurai: just like a general area

(Y/N): That sounds like something a ☆stalker☆ would ask

gloomy_samurai: ah seven gloomy_samurai: you're right gloomy_samurai: r.i.p. me i guess gloomy_samurai: i'm not stalking you

(Y/N): Ye I know (Y/N): Just messing with u (Y/N): As for where I live (Y/N): Queendom of Roses

gloomy_samurai: really?! gloomy_samurai: no way!! i'm on a vacation there rn!

(Y/N): Woah really? (Y/N): What a coincidence

gloomy_samurai: yeah lol gloomy_samurai: i doubt we're anywhere near each other tho gloomy_samurai: but it'd be cool if we were gloomy_samurai: it'd be nice to meet you in person

(Y/N): Well, maybe we can! (Y/N): Where abouts are you at?

Idia couldn't believe what he was reading. You, wanted to meet up with him! In real life! Sure, he's seen pictures of you on your social medias, it's a completely different experience to see you irl!!

Sure, it means he'll have to, you know, go outside, but whatever! We all make sacrifices for love!

He continued making his plans with you, knowing that soon you two would take your relationship to the next level.

You walked into the coffee shop, hoping to get yourself a breakfast wrap and a doughnut.

You sat down at one of the booth seats, with your newly aquired and much-needed breakfast. It was a nice day. Your wrap tasted good. It was raining outside, but not enough to ruin everything.

But then, someone sat down across from you. He had two cups of coffee, he was wearing a hoodie, his eyes were yellow, and his lips a vibrant blue.

"Hi, (Y/N)~!" He said.

"Do I... know you...?" You asked him.

"Heehee! Of course you do, (Y/N)! But I guess I've never shown you myself... whoops." He shrugged. "Ba bababa baaaa~! It's Gloomy Samurai!" He imitated some kind of video game reveal sound.

"Wait, really?!" You asked. "Wow, you're... different than I expected. N-not a bad different, obviously!"

"It's fine, it's fine, but uh... p-people are... staring at us..." He said, nervously looking around. "Oh seven, I-I shouldn't've done that stupid reveal sound...! Why did I think a bunch of normies wouldn't think that was weird? Dammit!"

"Just act natural, things'll be fine." You assured him.

"A-a-alright, i-if you insist..."

"So what's your name?" You aksed.

"Huh-?"

"I mean, I only know your username, and that's a bit strange to say out in public... y'know, just casually referring to you as Gloomy Samurai might raise some eyebrows." You mentioned. "People might think that's a bit... weird."

"Oh, yeah, I guess... uh, my name's... I-Idia." He said, looking away from you. "And I already know your name, since you use it as your username, which you should change by the way. Anyone could find out who you are with that. Rookie mistake."

"Yeah, I've been meaning to change it..."

"So you live here, huh? Maybe you could, uh... s-show me around, or something?" Idia blushed. His hair was mostly hidden in the hoodie he was wearing, but the bits you could see, you noticed the tips turn pink.

"Oh, sure! That sounds fun! A nice walk in the rain together while I show you around my hometown..."

He didn't need you to do that. He's been keeping track of you for a while. He knows everything about your hometown. But of course... he has to pretend that isn't true.

He's always thought your name was so cute. It would go so well with his last name... (Y/N) Shroud... how fitting! How adorable! He's thought of that more than a few times... the two of you getting married, having two children, having a cute little kitten, living a perfect happily ever after... yes, he's thought about it so much.

You had no idea he thought that, however. Idia was good at hiding it.

You had no idea that when Idia's 'vacation' was over, you would be returning home with him.

Idia was delighted. His life turned out exactly as he'd predicted!

The two of you have a five-year-old daughter, and a baby on the way. You also have an adorable little kitten!

Idia entered your room, closing the door behind him.

"I, uh... I-I got you dinner, darling...!"

You were chained to the bed, tears stained your face.

But the strange thing is...

Every passing day, you feel like you're beginning to actually fall in love with Idia.

[everydayyoulovemeless]

Was It Worth It? ↠ Hancock x Reader

➼ Word Count » 0.8k ➼ Warnings » Possible Spoilers for the Ending, Angst, Vomit ➼ Summary » Hancock comforts Sole after they blow up the Institute.

With your shoulders slumped and arms hanging limp, you mindlessly walked through the excited crowd that had formed in Sanctuary. Everyone had come to celebrate after the destruction of the Institue and it was hard not to see why. Their biggest threat had been taken out in the span of a few hours—this was huge, especially for the people involved with making it happen. Of course, people would celebrate. You just wished they didn't have to do it right outside your house.

People clapped and shouted your name as you passed, some even giving you firm pats on the back and their thanks. You weakly smiled at it all, only wanting to shut your door and leave them all behind. Wanting to go back to the house you've seen so many times before. The house you had lived in before the war. The one that you planned on raising Shaun in. The house that had now since been overgrown by the surrounding shrubs. The house that you were looking at right now.

Hancock watched as you slipped away into your house, too high on Mentats to really put the pieces together and realize you weren't acting like yourself. But when Cait challenged him to a drinking game, he's quick to go find you. He needs a partner and who better than the person of the hour?

He didn't know what he'd walk in on when he stumbled down your ruined hall, but seeing you curled up on the floor wasn't it. For a minute he didn't even think you were real, certain that he must've been hallucinating, but as your tears continued streaming down your face he decided he needed to comfort you. Real or not, he wanted to be there for you.

"Hey, hey," He soothed, sitting beside you on the floor, "What's going on?"

You stared at him with blurry, tear-filled vision before sobbing into what was supposed to be Shaun's first stuffed animal.

You tried. You tried so hard to make everything work out—to not kill your son. But every attempt you made at peace and understanding was swatted away. The last thing you had, ripped away from you in the span of those last couple of hours. As a parent, you prayed you'd never have to see him laying on his death bed but not only did you witness it, you were the one who caused it. You doubted you'd ever be able to bounce back from something like this—you weren't even sure if you deserved to.

You felt Hancock's arms wrap gently around your shoulders, pulling you to lean on him as you wept. "Just let it out."

And you did. You cried until you threw up. Vomiting out the window of the old bedroom as your cries of guilt were drowned out by the party happening around you. You lay limp on the window sill for a moment, Hancock's hand rubbing small circles on your back as your insides ached.

Watching everyone celebrate hurt. It broke you way more than you could've ever imagined. And as you stood away from the window, peering back at Shaun's room, still intact from when you left it, you questioned where you had gone wrong. How did everything go so south?

"What you've been through," He began, wiping the corners of your mouth with a rag he had gone to go grab from the kitchen, "isn't something that's easy to come to terms with." You stared at him silently, eyes still flooded with regret. "But look at how many people you've saved—think of everything that's now possible for not only them but yourself as well. There's nothing setting anyone back anymore, you've made us free from that constant state of paranoia."

"Was it worth it, though? Maybe if I gave myself a bit more time, I'd still be able to have a relationship with him—maybe it could've ended peacefully."

"This was peaceful, sunshine. You're sacrifice made peace."

"It's hard to believe that it's that simple." You started to choke up again as your gaze met the Institute flag you had hung on one of the walls to hopefully convince your son to come to live with you—to really meet with everyone you've encountered, however, he didn't like the thought of being in a place so unclean.

"We'll all be here to help you through this." He spoke, wrapping his arms around you once again and holding you against him.

"Thank you." You whispered, over and over again, till he kissed the top of your head and you started feeling dizzy—dizzy from your lack of water and all the energy you spent mourning. He picked you up when he felt your body start to weaken, carrying you over to your bed and laying you down across the mattress. You passed out quickly as he threw a blanket over you, kissing your forehead once again before stumbling his way back out to call the celebration off and allow you to rest.

[smallchaoscryptid]

Coffee's For Closers

I got inspired while working on my SerialKiller!Spiderbit au ('Folie à Deux') and decided to write a scene from a different POV but I don't see myself using it in the final fic so I am going to share it with the people of tumblr awhile as a preview for the fic. I hope you all enjoy.

Cellbit enters Roier’s house still unsure what to do. Pac and Mike are in town. He is going to be found out and hauled off to prison. He knows prison is if he gets lucky and no one discovers his true body count. Cellbit stumbles down the hallway to Roier’s kitchen. He needed to clear his thoughts and calm down. They don’t know he is in town yet and he still has time to pack up all his things again. He can run away and they won’t find him. Maybe he can convince Roier to come with him. Maybe he can still have his happy life. Cellbit isn’t expecting to see an old man as he enters the dining room. The site almost freezes him in his tracks. He wonders for a moment if he got the wrong house in his panicked state. 

“Olá?” Cellbit asks.

“Hello, who are you?” The man replies, looking Cellbit up and down.

“I’m Cellbit, Roier told me to come here.”

The man’s eyes widen as he looks Cellbit over again. "I know what you are . What are you doing in my grandson's house?"

"I have no clue what you mean." Cellbit replies, trying to feign stupidity despite the panic rising in his chest. 

"You are a killer." The man accuses. “Are you going to kill my grandson?”

"You must have me confused with someone else. I am just a good friend of Roier's." 

"My grandson wouldn't befriend a cold blooded killer like you." Roier’s grandfather accuses, his voice laced with vitriol.

"You don't even know me."

"I don't need to know you to know how many people you killed." 

"What?" Cellbit replies, hoping playing stupid can get him out of his one.

"I could call the cops on you right now." The man threatens.

"You wouldn't." Cellbit replies, taking out his knife and flipping it open.

"Are you threatening me?" Roier’s Grandfather asks, his eyes widening. 

"Maybe. All you need to do is not say anything and we can get along like family." Cellbit offers, hoping Roier’s grandfather will take the out that he is offering.

"We will never be family. I will tell my grandson what you are."

"I can't have you do that." Cellbit replies, stepping closer and shoving the man to the ground.

"If I disappear, Roier will know." Roier’s grandfather pleads.

Cellbit doesn’t hesitate to stab the knife into the man. He wants to twist it in and let all his anger out. He wants to get Roier’s grandfather to understand that he loves Roier and would do anything for him. He can’t have him forcing Roier away from him. He can’t lose Roier.

"Your grandson will never know."  Cellbit replies as he pulls the knife out.

Cellbit gets up to work on finding something to clean up the mess, the anger still lingering as he hopes Roier will take a bit to get home so he can have the mess cleaned up. He can’t have Roier knowing that he did this. He needs Roier to stay with him. He wants Roier to run off with him but he thinks walking in on his dead grandfather would ruin those chances. Unfortunately, when Cellbit turns around his eyes meet Roier’s. He doesn’t know what to say to explain the situation. He doesn’t know what Roier will do. Roier could help him clean up. In Cellbit’s daydreams, Roier helps him clean up after their kills. Roier helps him take apart the people who Cellbit selects. In some of the daydreams Roier even helps select the people. The Roier from his daydreams is not the Roier in front of him, yet, Cellbit hopes that one day he could be. The  Roier in front of him now could turn him in and there would be nothing he could do. He can’t kill Roier. He could never kill Roier. He will never kill Roier.

“Roier, it's not what it looks like.” Cellbit pleads, as he tries to walk forward to put space between him and Roier’s grandfather’s body.

Cellbit wants to comfort Roier. He wants to tell him it will be alright; that he won’t hurt him but Roier takes a step back from him. Cellbit can’t help but flinch.  He never meant to scare Roier. He watches as Roier looks at the dead body and back at him. He wants Roier to say something- anything. Cellbit needs to fix this. He needs Roier to know he won’t hurt him.

“I can explain.” Cellbit offers as he sets his knife down, hoping the lack of weapon in his hands would cause Roier to say something and calm down.

Cellbit watches as Roier blinks and he almost thinks Roier is going to say something to him but that hope is cut short as Roier turns around and runs. If he was anyone else Cellbit would have chased after them but it is Roier. He can’t kill Roier. Even as he hears the door knob fail to turn he doesn’t move. If Roier was anyone else he would be dead already but he’s not. Cellbit listens to the door open and slam against the wall. He feels his heart shatter in the same moment. Instead of chasing after Roier, Cellbit cleans off his hands and turns off the lights before leaving the house to grab supplies to clean up his mess.