#(whose rights they bought like 7 years ago too)

[yume-fanfare]

really feeling the need to send anon hate right now <-licensing company took down only existing dubbed copy of anime i love Again

[scary-grace]

Love Like Ghosts (Chapter 3) - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic

You knew the empty house in a quiet neighborhood was too good to be true, but you were so desperate to get out of your tiny apartment that you didn't care, and now you find yourself sharing space with something inhuman and immensely powerful. As you struggle to coexist with a ghost whose intentions you're unsure of, you find yourself drawn unwillingly into the upside world of spirits and conjurers, and becoming part of a neighborhood whose existence depends on your house staying exactly as it is, forever. But ghosts can change, just like people can. And as your feelings and your ghost's become more complex and intertwined, everything else begins to crumble. (cross-posted to Ao3)

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21

Chapter 3

There’s something wrong with your house, but you knew that when you bought it. Except now you know damn well that the thing that’s wrong with it isn’t the house itself – it’s what’s in it. What was put in it. What’s stuck in it. “In most hauntings, ghosts are summoned from the world between by conjurers, whether they like it or not,” Aizawa says. “These ghosts are bound unwillingly to specific locations and left to haunt them as they see fit. Eri was this type of ghost.”

“So’s Himiko,” Jin says. He pauses. “I think.”

“So was Magne,” Spinner adds. “She didn’t like it here.”

“Can’t she go back?” you ask.

Aizawa shakes his head. “Once a ghost has been summoned and bound, there’s only one way out,” he says – but he doesn’t tell you what that way is. Of course. “As I said, in most cases, the ghosts are bound to their haunts unwillingly. The ghosts who came willingly are the ones to be scared of.”

You’re smart enough to catch the implication. Most of the ghosts in the neighborhood didn’t want to be here. “You think Tomura did.”

“A ghost of his strength could have resisted the summons, and killed the conjurer who made it,” Aizawa says. “Your ghost is here because he chose to be.”

“Which is way we brought you to old man Aizawa,” Jin says. Aizawa, who’s not actually that old, rolls his eyes. “He’s got one of those, too.”

Not Eri. It’s not Eri, and Shinsou’s not a ghost, so – “Your husband’s a ghost?”

“He was a ghost,” Aizawa corrects. He looks even more tired than before. “I suppose it’ll be easiest to tell you what happened. It’ll cut down on the useless questions you’ll undoubtedly ask. My husband Hizashi was summoned form the world between two hundred and nineteen years ago, to haunt an opera house that was being built –”

Aizawa’s husband was a very powerful ghost, he says. He could have resisted the summons, but he didn’t, and he spent a hundred and fifty years terrorizing the opera house and everyone who set foot in it before the last person who owned it burnt it to the ground on purpose. “That was a mistake,” Aizawa says. “Destroying a haunt releases the ghost to wander. Releasing a ghost like Hizashi is – unwise.”

“Look up the opera ghost murders,” Spinner stage-whispers. You glance back at him. “Let’s just say Hizashi spent a lot of time embodied.”

Tomura’s words flash through your head: I can’t get it from you or the dog. You’d die. You stare at Aizawa. “Your husband killed people?”

“People who deserved it. Or people he felt deserved it,” Aizawa says. His voice is flat. “Ghosts aren’t human. They don’t think like humans do. Their sense of right and wrong is accordingly – skewed.”

“Sometimes Papa killed people who hurt other people,” Eri says. “Sometimes he killed people who were mean to their waiters. But that was before he met Dad.”

You’re still stuck a few sentences back, slowly piecing something together. “The energy doesn’t last long when they’re – embodied,” you say, stumbling on the word. “Your ghosts are just killing people all the time?”

“No,” Aizawa says shortly. “The ghosts in this neighborhood, excepting yours, are former ghosts. They no longer have that power.”

“We’re people now. We don’t need it,” Eri explains to you. She looks back to Aizawa. “Tell how you met Papa!”

Aizawa sighs. “My current job is as an author. Prior to this, I was an investigative journalist. My specialty was exposés, and I often took risks to ensure the truth came to light. During this time, unbeknownst to me, I caught Hizashi’s attention. He began watching me, following me – helping me, although our definitions of helpfulness diverged more often than not. His word for it was ‘haunting’.”

That’s Tomura’s word for it, too. A shiver runs down your spine. “On my last assignment, I was investigating corruption in the police force,” Aizawa says. “While I discovered plenty of it, I also discovered something worse – a serial murderer, using his role in law enforcement to conceal his crimes. I knew that no one would believe me unless I brought them incontrovertible proof. I took appropriate precautions, or so I thought, then confronted him to force a confession.”

“And it didn’t work,” you guess.

Aizawa’s fingers trace a scar under his right eye in a movement that almost looks unconscious. “It didn’t go as planned,” he says. “I was badly injured. If Hizashi hadn’t intervened, I would have been killed. As it was, I fell unconscious. When I woke up in the hospital three days later, Hizashi was there. Alive.”

“Not a ghost anymore,” you clarify. Aizawa nods. “How?”

“Ghosts can embody themselves permanently if they kill someone and take the complete measure of their life-force,” Aizawa says. “That’s what Hizashi did, and Eri. That’s what they all did.”

Eri killed someone. You glance at her, more than a little creeped out, and find her smiling a gap-toothed smile. “I had to,” she says. Her pupils open and shut again. “She was hurting Hitoshi. She made him cry.”

“Did you mean it?” you ask lamely.

“To be people?” Eri frowns for a moment. “I must have. Or it wouldn’t have worked.”

“The embodiment thing doesn’t just happen,” Jin says. “They don’t just trip and fall – like, whoops, I’m embodied now! They have to want it.”

“They have to want it more than they want anything else,” Aizawa says. “More than they’ve ever wanted anything else in all their existence. It’s not something that happens often.”

“Which is a good thing,” Spinner puts in. “Because once you’ve got one, you’ve got it for life.”

So every ghost – former ghost – in the neighborhood had at least a split second where they wanted to be human. “If a ghost who was summoned unwillingly becomes human, their contract with the conjurer who summoned them is broken,” Aizawa says. “The conjurers often come back to exact punishment, and while a ghost in this world has significant power, most permanently embodied ghosts have roughly the same power as a human.”

“Papa’s strong,” Eri argues.

“I said ‘most’,” Aizawa reminds her. “When Eri’s conjurer came for her, Hizashi’s residual abilities allowed us to defeat him. But Hizashi’s conjurer, should he reappear, would pose a significant threat. Every family in this neighborhood is under a similar threat.”

“Which is why we’re all here,” Spinner says. “The ghost in your house is so strong that his presence hides the rest of us completely. If Atsuhiro’s conjurer or Himiko’s or Hizashi’s looked here for them, they wouldn’t be able to find them. All they’d see is your ghost.”

“That’s why we all want to meet him so bad,” Jin says. “He’s the boss! The baddest guy around! And we owe him, see? If not for him, they’d find us, easy.”

You look at their faces, Eri and Jin and Spinner. They all look pretty enthusiastic at the prospect of your ghost. Nothing like the way you feel when you think about him, some weird mix of gratefulness and comfort and confusion and fear. You look away from them, to Aizawa. He doesn’t look sad, exactly. Not resigned, either. But when he looks at you, you get the sense that he understands it. He’s been where you are, or somewhere like it, and suddenly you’re intensely grateful to Jin for bringing you here. You aren’t crazy for having mixed feelings about your ghost. Aizawa had them, maybe still has them, too.

“This information, while interesting, is ultimately irrelevant to you,” Aizawa says. You didn’t want to say it, but he’s right. “I imagine you’re more interested in how to handle your interactions with – Tomura, was it?”

You nod. “He hasn’t hurt me. I don’t think he wants to hurt me. But I don’t think he knows what he wants.”

“That’s likely. For all his power, he doesn’t seem to have much experience actually haunting anyone,” Aizawa says. “The fact that the house stood empty for so long suggests that he’s selective, and the actions he’s taken suggest that he has an interest in keeping you appeased. That gives you leverage.”

“You kind of need that,” Spinner says. “Like Aizawa said, they don’t get right and wrong like we do. Magne thought all kinds of shit was okay at first. It gets better if they’re embodied, but since yours isn’t gonna do that, you’ll have to explain a lot.”

“Frame the situation in terms of how the action you want the ghost to take will benefit the ghost,” Aizawa says. “For instance, if you want privacy, explain how respecting your privacy will increase your comfort in the house and make you more likely to stay there. Avoid asking him to do things.”

“Like asking him not to stare at me while I sleep?”

“No,” Aizawa says. “Avoid asking him to undertake tasks for you. The means he’ll use to achieve them will likely be unpleasant.”

You think of the coyote. All you needed was for it to leave, but Tomura basically tore its head off. “I don’t need him to do anything,” you say. “Just to leave me alone.”

“Sorry, sister. That’s not happening,” Jin says, and your heart sinks. “That house has been empty ever since we moved in. He’s been waiting for somebody to haunt this whole time, and he picked you. You’re his now. He told Himiko so.”

“Magne said she got the same vibe,” Spinner adds. “It’s not so bad, having a ghost. Think of it like having a really good roommate, or a best friend –”

“Or the coolest little sister ever,” Jin adds, grinning. “All the best people I know used to be dead!”

“I’m not dead! Take that back,” Eri protests. “I’m just your kind of alive now. And it’s the best kind of alive. There are flavors. And tastes –”

Spinner asks Eri what kind of tastes she likes best, and that sets all three of them off. You look back at Aizawa, who’s studying you with that same flat look in his eyes. “I don’t think mine wants a best friend,” you say.

“Mine didn’t,” Aizawa says. You wonder how he ended up married to his ghost, raising kids with his ghost. If that was really what he wanted. If he ever had a choice. “I don’t think so, either.”

When you head back to your house, it’s with an armful of books and a low, heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Phantom greets you cheerfully the instant you latch the gate behind you. You wonder how she got out when you know you left her inside, but the answer comes to you almost ahead of the question. Tomura must have let her out. He’s watched the whole process play out hundreds of times by now – Phantom going to the door, aiming sad looks your way, crying until you open it – and he did exactly what you do. You remember Aizawa’s admonition against asking Tomura to do things. You didn’t ask for this, and he did it anyway.

He materializes the instant you close the front door. “Where did you go? You were gone for hours.”

“I went to see the neighbors,” you say. His eyes flash. “To ask them about you.”

Now he looks confused. “Why didn’t you ask me about me?”

“Because you might lie, and I needed the truth.” You wait to see if Tomura will argue, but he doesn’t. “They had a lot to say.”

“What did they say about me?”

“They said you’re strong,” you say. Tomura goes from suspicious to proud of himself in about two seconds flat. “That’s why they moved here. You’re so strong that you can hide them from the people who summoned them.”

“It’s their fault they need to hide. They embodied themselves, like idiots.” Tomura at least sounds like he’s against permanent embodiment, which is a relief for you. “They can stay. I don’t care. As long as you stay.”

“I can stay,” you allow. You think of what Aizawa said and give one of his negotiating tactics a try. “I’ll be a lot more comfortable staying here if you give me some space.”

“Space,” Tomura repeats. “What kind of space?”

“When I’m in the bathroom. Humans like being alone in there,” you say. He nods. “And at night when I’m sleeping. We like to be alone then, too.”

“Not everybody,” Tomura argues. “In those movies –”

“I’m not going to watch any more movies if you keep getting dumb ideas from them.” You ignore the affronted sound Tomura makes. “Life isn’t like movies. I like to be alone when I’m sleeping.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Do you sleep?” You should have asked Aizawa about things like that.

“I don’t sleep. Sleeping is for humans,” Tomura says. You raise your eyebrows and he scowls. “It sounds nice when you sleep. I can’t hear it if I’m not in your room.”

“What sounds nice?” You’re not a sleep-talker, and nobody’s ever told you that you snore. “What kind of noises am I making? Are they weird?”

“I don’t know,” Tomura snaps. “I don’t know what noises humans are supposed to make when they’re sleeping. They don’t sound weird to me. They’re just – nice.”

You decide to set up your phone to record tonight, just to figure out what kind of sounds you’re making. And then you’ll buy a white-noise machine so this doesn’t happen again. This isn’t working. Maybe you need to try something else. “I’m not fun to hang out with when I’m sleeping,” you say. “Why don’t we hang out more when I’m awake and I can talk to you?”

His red eyes light up. Part of you wants to call his excitement childish, but you’ve felt that way as an adult. Aizawa says that ghosts materialize or embody or whatever you’re supposed to call it at the equivalent human age. Tomura’s an adult by ghost standards. You have to interact with him like one. “Well?”

“I need more life,” Tomura says. “I killed all your mushrooms in the front yard. Find me something else and I’ll – hang out with you. You are boring when you sleep.”

“I’ll find something,” you say. You can see that Tomura’s starting to fade, and you move to end the conversation before he can freak out again. “Thanks for letting Phantom out. I’ll see you soon.”

“Soon,” Tomura says. He doesn’t look happy, but he’s not angry. As long as he’s not throwing a fit, you’ll take it.

Once he’s faded completely, you take out your phone and text the newly formed group chat that has the numbers of every human in the neighborhood old enough to have a phone. Jin’s renamed it eight times already. Right now it’s “ghost friends anonymous”. You text it with a request: If you all catch bugs in your houses, bring them to my house. I need them.

So you can talk to him? Keigo texts back first. Wish I’d thought of that when it was me. No problem. Bug buffet coming right up.

Shinsou responds next. Can we leave them on your porch? Dad says not to go up there.

You’ve got my permission, you say, even though you and everybody else knows it’s not your permission that counts. And his, once I tell him what they’re for.

The cold spot settles around your shoulders and you startled badly. You’ve walked through Tomura by accident before, and he must not have liked it, either, because he stays out of your way when you’re on the move. But he’s here now, not sinking through you but wrapped around you. “Don’t,” you say aloud. “I’ll get a chill.”

Tomura stays there a moment longer, probably just to prove he can. Then he slips away, leaving you with the worst case of goosebumps you’ve ever had and a feeling you don’t like in the pit of your stomach. You’ve got a ghost in your house – fine. It’s not being a ghost that makes him an asshole.

Tomura’s an asshole, but he must want to hang out with you more than he wants to spy on you, because the bathroom’s empty except for you when you shower before bed. And for the first time in weeks, you fall asleep in an empty room.

Your bug idea works out pretty well. Every day you find at least five or six jars on your porch with holes drilled into the lids and spiders or ants or wasps rattling around inside, trying to escape. Two jars of bugs buys Tomura five minutes of complete materialization, but he’s starting to get smart about things, only materializing what he needs for a given interaction. A pair of hands to throw the ball for Phantom. His head and shoulders when he’s talking to you. His whole body, barely visible, when the neighbors come over to the house to drop off the day’s catch.

The first ones to come by are Jin and Himiko, and Himiko shrieks in excitement when she sees Tomura’s shadow on the front porch. “It’s you!” she squeals. “You’re so cute!”

“I’m not cute,” Tomura says, disgusted. Then he looks at you. “What’s cute?”

“Not you,” you say, and he breathes a sigh of relief. Even though he can’t breathe. It’s weird-looking for sure. “Jin, Himiko, this is Tomura. He’s, uh –”

“The boss!” Jin flashes a double thumbs-up. “The king of the neighborhood! Frankly, my dude, you terrify me.”

Jin’s mood switches stopped being weird to you a long time ago, but Tomura’s not used to him yet. “What’s wrong with it?” he mutters.

“Nothing’s wrong with him! Don’t make fun of my humans,” Himiko says. She smiles with her sharp teeth and ghost-blinks a few times. “I don’t make fun of your human. Even though she wears the same shirt three times a week.”

“It’s my favorite shirt,” you protest. “It’s comfy. And I wash it in between.”

“My human wears what it wants to wear,” Tomura says. You don’t have the heart to correct him on the pronouns.

And you don’t have to – somebody else does it for you, when Shinsou stops by with a bug delivery two afternoons later. He’s not alone, but it’s not Aizawa with him. It’s a blond man with a tiny mustache and bright green eyes, and he’s standing as far away from Shinsou as humanly possible without letting go of Shinsou’s hand. “I admire the ingenuity, but this is gross,” he says, projecting his voice ridiculously loud with seemingly no effort. Then he looks up at you and smiles. “Hey there. Shou’s told me all about you. The name’s Hizashi.”

“Aizawa told me about you, too.” You’ve met almost all the ghosts in the neighborhood already, but this is your first time seeing Hizashi, and something about him makes you nervous. Maybe it’s just what you know about his backstory, or maybe you’re worried he’s going to come up here and give Tomura ideas about things he can do with his human. “Tomura, this is Hizashi. He lives up the street.”

“I know who he is,” Tomura says. He’s more visible now than he was a second ago. “Back off. You’re scaring it.”

“It?” Hizashi repeats. “Most humans don’t go by ‘it’, friend. That’s a she. Your human’s a woman.”

“Huh?” Tomura looks at you, looks you up and down in a way that makes you really uncomfortable. “How can you tell?”

“You could ask,” Hizashi says, unruffled. He turns his attention to Shinsou. “You’re sure you have to go up there? Spooky McScarface doesn’t look too friendly.”

“I don’t touch other people’s humans,” Tomura says. He studies Shinsou as Shinsou comes up to the porch and sets his jar down on the first step. “Which kind are you?”

“I’m a guy,” Shinsou says. Tomura keeps staring at him. “The opposite of a girl. Not a girl. Most humans are guys or girls. Men or women. I’m a guy. Your human’s a girl.”

“Whatever,” Tomura says. Shinsou sets down the bugs and backs away toward the front gate. You’d elbow Tomura if he was embodied. When you elbow him anyway, your elbow goes numb from the cold. “I’m supposed to say thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Hizashi says. He yanks Shinsou back through the gate and hurries him up the street. “We’ll be back! Enjoy your worms.”

They’ve given you a lot of worms. “This is great,” you say. “Maybe we can get through a whole movie on these. What do you think?”

You glance at Tomura and find him mostly dematerialized, lost in thought. “You’re a girl,” he says. You nod. “What am I?”

“Whatever you want to be, I guess,” you say. “You look like a guy, though. Your voice sounds like a guy’s voice, and you don’t have – um –”

You gesture at your breasts, which is a mistake. Now he’s looking at them. “Would you rather be a girl?”

“No,” Tomura says decisively. “I don’t like girls that much.”

Tomura’s understanding of gender probably still has a couple of big holes in it, but you decide to steer off the topic for now and count yourself lucky that it wasn’t worse. It’s not until you’re trying to fall asleep in your still-empty room that you realize what Tomura actually said – that he doesn’t like girls enough to want to be one, not that he doesn’t like girls at all. You thought you were off the hook. It turns out your ghost is straight.

You text Aizawa in a fit of pique. Your husband taught my ghost how to like girls.

Your ghost already liked girls. Now he has words to explain it. Aizawa’s typing bubble appears, then vanishes. Trust me, it helps.

You’re not all that sure that it does, but after a week or so of normal behavior from Tomura, you decide that it’s probably not a disaster. Whatever Hizashi told him, it’s not anywhere as bad as what Tomura’s getting out of the movies he watches with you.

You’ve been trying to be careful about what you show him, but you learn pretty quickly that he can get something weird out of whatever he watches. Tomura is shockingly observant, picking up on stuff that even you don’t notice, but he almost invariably draws the wrong conclusions about whatever he’s caught on to. That’s fine when you’re watching sci-fi. Not fine when you’re watching a romcom.

“No,” you say to Tomura for the fifth time. You feel like you’re talking to Phantom. “That’s not good. He shouldn’t be doing that.”

“Why not? He wants to protect her and she’s being stupid.”

You agree she’s being stupid, but – “He’s scaring her,” you say. Tomura blinks. He doesn’t blink like the embodied ghosts do. He blinks like a human does. “It’s scary for someone to grab you, or to block you in a corner and not let you leave. People who care about you don’t scare you.”

Tomura’s quiet for a little bit. You’re just picking up the remote to unpause the movie when he speaks again. “Do I scare you?”

“Right now? No.”

“So you’ve been scared of me before,” Tomura says. Sometimes you can get away with lying to him, but not right now. You keep quiet, and he takes it how you meant it. And he’s pissed. “Why would you be scared of me? I didn’t do anything to you. I helped you –”

“Humans are scared of things we don’t understand,” you say. Tomura studies you, scratching the side of his neck. He’s not materialized enough for it to show, which is good. You hate seeing the scrapes appear. “It’s normal.”

“The others say their humans weren’t ever scared of them.”

“Their humans were kids,” you say. “I’m not.”

You haven’t run your theory by Aizawa yet, but you’re still pretty sure you’re right. Jin, Shinsou, and Spinner were all kids when they met their ghosts, and their ghosts were there for them when nobody else was. You’ve heard the stories of how they met in bits and pieces, but you know Himiko protected Jin and Jin’s siblings from their abusive dad – and killed him to embody herself when he took it too far. Eri told you what she did to the foster sibling who hurt Shinsou. Spinner hasn’t told you how he met his ghost yet, but you feel like it’s probably something similar. They were all kids, and their ghosts were their best friends before they became human. They didn’t think about it any more than that.

You and Aizawa were older. You can’t speak to whatever brought Aizawa to Hizashi’s attention, but you went out of your way to make sure your house wasn’t haunted and wound up with a seriously haunted house anyway. When Tomura killed the coyote to protect you and Phantom, you were grateful, and you said so – but your next thought was about how easily that same violence could be turned against you. You’re an adult. You don’t trust easily. Of course you’re wary of the insanely powerful ghost in your house. Who wouldn’t be?

Tomura’s still studying you. “How do I make you – not?”

“You can’t make me do anything,” you say. Tomura rolls his eyes. “Don’t do that. You asked.”

“And you didn’t answer. How do I make you stop being scared of me?”

“You can’t,” you say, which is probably the stupidest answer you’ve given to any question ever, even if it’s true. “Why do you want me not to be scared of you? You’re supposed to be haunting me. Don’t you want to act like a ghost?”

Tomura vanishes, which is about as close to a fuck-you as it gets. You resign yourself to a rough night and settle in for the rest of the movie. In retrospect, daring your ghost to actually haunt you was a really bad idea.

You haven’t shown Tomura any horror movies, but you watched a few before you knew he was watching them with you, and over the next few hours, he pulls every trick he must have seen in them. The lights flicker. The house fills itself with weird sounds, creaks and screeches and moans, and the hallways warp before your eyes as you try to walk through them. If you had to guess, you’d say Tomura wants you to beg him to stop, but you’re not going to do that. You brush your teeth, ignoring the way the water from the faucet runs read and the creepy shadow behind the shower door. You check your closet, ignoring the pair of feet very obviously sticking out below the racks of clothes, and pick up your feet to avoid the hands that grasp at your ankles as you try to get into bed. Then your bed starts to rattle, like he’s grabbed it by the post and started shaking it around.

And that, of all things, is what makes you lose patience. “You suck at haunting things.”

Tomura’s voice issues from beneath the bed. “Maybe you just suck at being haunted.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” You suck at all of this, and all the time you spend trying to solve your ghost problem has been sapping your focus at work. Mr. Yagi’s nice about it, but he can’t be nice forever. “I didn’t ask for this. You did.”

Your bed rattles again, harder than before, then goes still. “No, I didn’t.”

“Don’t lie. I know how this works. A ghost as strong as you –”

“I wasn’t always strong.” A scratching sound emanates from beneath the bed. Not only is Tomura still down there, he’s materialized fully enough that you can hear him scratching his neck. Why would he waste that kind of energy? “I didn’t want to come here. Master made me. I couldn’t get back.”

Master – his conjurer. It must be. But Aizawa says that ghosts are strong or weak, that their powers don’t grow or increase, and all the former ghosts agree. If Tomura started out weak enough to be summoned unwillingly, how did he get strong enough to hide an entire neighborhood of former ghosts? “I don’t understand.”

“So I bet you’re extra scared now.”

Tomura’s voice is bitter, mocking. But you can still hear the scratching, and before you can think better of it, you sit up and slide off your bed. When you’re lying flat on the floor, you can see into the darkness beneath the bed and make out Tomura’s red eyes, his pale skin, the scraped-raw spots on the side of his neck. “Hey, don’t do that,” you say quietly, and he scoffs. “It looks like it hurts.”

“Things don’t hurt. There’s feelings or not-feelings. I don’t care either way.”

“If you don’t care either way, then stop,” you say. Tomura scoffs again. “I’ll prove it’s different. Hold your hand out.”

He holds out the hand he’s not scratching with, like an asshole, but maybe you can use that. If he’s still scratching, the contrast will be obvious. You reach for Tomura’s hand with both of yours and hold it still. Part of you is expecting your hands to sink through and meet in the middle, but Tomura’s hand is real enough to touch. His skin is rough and ice-cold.

Tomura stops scratching the instant your hands enclose his. You’re tempted to call attention to it and gloat over being right, but it feels like it would be the wrong thing to do. It’s banter, and this doesn’t feel like banter. It feels like something else. You don’t think too hard about what that something is.

Tomura’s not thinking about it, either, but that’s because Tomura’s an asshole. “It only feels different because your hands aren’t moving.”

“You want me to move my hands? Fine.” You turn Tomura’s hand over and run the pads of your fingers lightly over his palm, noting as you do that his palm is completely unlined. He doesn’t have fingerprints, either. You notice that when you trace the length of one of his fingers, and then the next, and the next after that. But if you ignore that, and you ignore the cold, Tomura’s hand is just a hand. You match your palm to his, then run your fingers down the length of his all at once. It’s just a hand. It could be anyone’s.

Tomura yanks his hand free of yours and vanishes for the second time tonight, leaving you sprawled out on the floor of your room, staring into the now-empty space under your bed. It occurs to you to be embarrassed, but this isn’t even close to the dumbest thing you’ve done because of the ghost in your house. You lay there for a second, wondering how long it’ll take for Tomura to get whatever stupid thing he’s doing out of his system, and then climb back up into bed.

Tomura’s sitting there, cross-legged, both hands up over his face. “What was that?” he asks. Usually when he asks you questions like that, it’s a demand, but it sounds different this time. “Why did you do that to me?”

“I was proving a point.” Were you, though? Suddenly you aren’t sure. “Get off my bed.”

“Never do that again,” Tomura says. His shoulders are rising and falling fast, like he’s breathing hard. “Never! I don’t want to feel like this!”

“Like what?” you ask, but now he’s fading – not dematerializing, fading. He’s run out of energy, and he won’t be back tonight, unless he changes his mind and decides you and Phantom are fair game as far as living batteries go. “Fine. You started this. Don’t play your stupid games with me anymore.

The lights flicker on, then off, then on again. You roll over, press your face into your pillow, and fall asleep.

[raincitygirl76]

I have a question. My neighbour, whose front door is only 2 metres (6 feet) from my own front door, had cancer surgery 2 weeks ago. Once she's recovered, she will be starting chemotherapy. She is a lovely neighbour, and it is cold and flu season here in the Northern Hemisphere. I have promised her I will wear a mask whenever I am in the common areas, because I know she's immune-suppressed as fuck right now, and I really don't want to give her any bugs that could land her in hospital, and/or delay the chemo she needs.

Plus, I've been walking her dogs occasionally and taking out her garbage and recycling when she's too wiped. She can just leave the recycling on the mat outside her apartment door and text me that it's there. But with the dogs, she needs to hand me the leashes, so I need to get fairly close, even masked.

So here's my question (I finally got through all the explanatory blather. It only took 2 paragraphs). How many times can you reuse those paper masks before they stop being effective at keeping any germs on the inside of the mask? Particularly if I'm just wearing the mask for 5-10 minutes at a time, to check my mailbox in the lobby, or take out the garbage/recycling, or go down to the basement to do laundry. I'm pretty sure you don't need to discard the mask after a single use if you only used it for 5-10 minutes.

So I've been looping a paper mask over the inside doorknob of my front door to re-use. But now I'm worried I'll reuse the masks too often, they'll stop working, and I'll kill an extremely sweet neighbour. Did I mention her dogs are both rescues (who have their own Instagram account)? Or that she has a toddler grandson? Also, that she's on the strata council (Canadian-ese for the owners' council in a condominium building) and has been a prime source of gossip for me for the past 7 years as to what's going on in the building? Actually, she's on a leave of absence from the strata council right now, due to the cancer. But the point is, I actively LIKE this neighbour. I buy her vegan chocolate every Christmas because she's a vegan. I do not want to kill her.

I've also heard that the paper masks you have to discard are significantly better at blocking germs than the washable cloth masks that started showing up all over Etsy in March 2020 when even hospitals couldn't get medical grade PPE and the paper masks were nowhere to be bought. Is that true? That's why I've been using the paper masks, because I read that somewhere, but I can't remember if it was from a reliable source.

Sometimes I really wish I'd studied hard sciences at university instead of social sciences. That would've been much more useful in cases like this. Then I remember the reason I went into social science: my dreadful marks in high school math and chemistry. So I'm outsourcing this question to people who have expertise because they're actually good at this shit.

And yes, I tried DuckDuckGoing the answer before I turned to Tumblr (I don't google stuff anymore because Google is evil). The search results were wildly conflicting. If you don't know the answer either, please feel free to signal boost by reblogging. I really, really don't want to kill this very nice lady and leave her rescue dogs homeless.

[doppelwertig]

Into the floods

It's 7:30 a.m. and I decide to head to the peaceful spa town I've been avoiding for five years now. It is the small place for which, or rather for the person living in it at the time, I moved to the south.

This town has been a spiky thorn in my heart for the last few years and I just couldn't bring myself to walk the old streets again. But today, December 21st, 2023, the time has come. I just spontaneously travel there. I left work behind. It will still be there when I get back, although I don't know when that will be.

I'm setting out because I want to part with an item whose absence would have hurt for a long time.

About the importance of beloved objects

In 2012 I bought a bracelet and had my master put it on me. Even though I parted with my necklace and collar, I couldn't part with the stainless steel around my wrist. I don't even like the strict feeling of metal...but it's soaked in memories. It is now rusty, grimy and can hardly be closed properly.

The thought of getting rid of the bracelet tore me up years ago. I wasn't ready. Probably also out of pain about how much I missed what I had in this relationship. So I've tried reframing for the last few years. But how effective is changing your thinking with an object that was placed on you by someone who is still so close to your heart?

I have to at least replace it. It took some research, but then I found a bracelet that looked identical. Ultimately, I love the style and meaning too much to part with a look that suits me. It will be here in a few days.

I wanted to give the old bracelet to the river we sat by so often. At first I planned to just walk a few meters to the river part in my city, but it is more correct to visit the place where it all began.

New and old

It is said that it takes the body 7 to 10 years to completely replace all of its cells. However, the skin cells are recreated after just a few weeks. In May it will be 7 years for this body. I always liked the idea that soon there wouldn't be a cell in my body that he touched - a kind of cellular new beginning. Even if the descendants may vaguely remember the bittersweet touches.

With these clammy feelings, I got off the train and stumbled to the new display board, which didn't exist the last time I was there. I no longer knew in which direction the small island in the river that I wanted to go to later was. Luckily this map existed. I planned the route like this: to his old apartment, then through some backstreets, on to the island and then to one of the train stations, depending on what felt right later.

Just walking a few meters on the platform tore me apart. Here I was often picked up or send home accompanied by a small dog...time for a certain song.

Ewigheim - …

On the way to the old apartment it became more and more difficult. I couldn't see the old porch because of the now very tall hedges - but the entrance at the back offered the same barren sight as before. Even the black dirt seemed to still adorn the same parts of the house wall.

I saw the crack where we found the lost cat under the balcony and the outline of the old rusty bicycle popped up in the driveway.

Die Heart - Eins (feat. 8Kids)

It was time. I said goodbye to the apartment and chose a new song. Shuffle gets you the right thing. This part of the journey, especially with this song, was hard. Tears formed as I slowly had to pass a train stop. Some guy pointed his phone camera at me. I stared up angrily, but continued on, undeterred.

Soon the climax of the song was approaching and I wanted to scream so much, but I can't. “That’s what my soul sounds like,” I thought. She croaks from all the internal screaming.

So just keep going. I wanted to be close to the river, so I had to go to a place where countless dogs are walked. Two people and their worried animals eyed me as I headed towards the front of the river island, bundled up and with a red face.

All the way to the sea

I had worn the bracelet until now, but I could hardly feel it due to the thick winter padding. I pulled out my phone. I wanted to capture the location of the river: dirty-looking rapids where the water roared past me with incredible force. Then take off the bracelet and take a photo of it at the location. Great, no problem at all.

Now put the cell phone away - “Oh, change the song first”. I anxiously fumbled the phone in and out a few times.

TANZWUT – Meer

I knelt down and held the shimmering stainless steel ring in my hands. Somehow I wanted to let go - to stop being so attached to this person. I remembered the beautiful moments, all the things I miss and the things for which I haven't yet found suitable new people. But my heart should be open to it.

Big tears and the snottiest snot in a long time burst out of me. I just let everything go. This is probably the sadness that only the sea can contain.

I longed for the sea.

TANZWUT – Bis zum Meer feat. Moran Magal

After killing two more tissues, I prepared to put the bracelet in the river with a new song. I didn't want to throw it, I wanted to dip it in slowly and then let it go, feeling the cold water on my fingers.

It took me a while to gather the courage I needed. My fingers were already completely cold when I left it to the waves. I immediately lost sight of it. Tears streamed down my cheeks again.

Although I couldn't promise myself that it would be the last time I shed tears over this person, I at least knew that all the water in the world would be there for me.

My gaze lingered on the waves for a while until I decided to leave. I disposed of the small ball of snot flags in the nearest wastebasket and began the slow walk back to the train stop. I didn't care when the next train came. Just wait there and see.

Longing

An incredible longing for the Baltic Sea spread within me. Actually, there's nothing I'd rather do right now than take the next train and stare at the sea for a few days. But I have responsibilities and obligations.

Now I'm waiting for the new bracelet. Let's see how that feels.

[yesyourstalker]

Neta: *snoring*.........mmmm.....*sigh*... morning

Ikkan: hehe... Good morning....

Neta: hmm... [Kiss].......*sigh*...............................

Ikkan:........................................... I have to go home today

Neta: nooooooooooo...... Please.... I won't let you

Ikkan: hehehe I'm sorry but I have to go back home...... Class starts this week winter break is over.

Neta: *humph* that not fair.... who's going to be with me when I'm cold?

Ikkan: What do you mean when you're cold?? you radiate heat! Gets to the point I had to sleep on the edge of the bed in the summer.

Neta: but who's going to keep you warm on these cold winter nights???!!! [Kisskisskisskisskisskisskiss]

Ikkan:hehehehe stop! I don't know?!!? I guess I just have to suffer until I come back. Hehehehehe

Neta: [kiss] inkky...mmmm. What do you want to do today?

Ikkan: hmmm I don't know Warabi wants me to help him look for an apartment. He already asked his parents and they allowed him to find something more expensive I'm just there to keep it reasonable.

Neta: boooooo No. I meant with me what do you want to do today with me!?

Ikkan: Cod you're such a baby hehehe [kiss] you can come with me....It'll be fun.... Look at some apartments.... after have a nice lunch... Maybe get some nice furniture.

Neta: you just want to redecorate my apartment!!!

Ikkan: Your couch is falling apart!!

Neta: who cares!!! we're going to get married and leave this place behind! We're going to move out of this place and your place!! We're going to get a nice house [kiss] with new stuff [kiss] you always wanted a nice sunroom. Right bab? [kiss] Maybe grow a garden? [Kiss] it has to be near a decent school for Cici [kiss] hmmm stop worrying about getting new stuff now. It'll last another 2 years.

Ikkan: Your bed frame is practically broken

Neta: and whose fault is that huh?

Ikkan: yours. You bought it broken

Neta:....... Well it was a good deal. Okay and at the time it wasn't that bad.

Ikkan: *ugh* shut up! You bought it at a yard sale 7 years ago. Get dressed. We're going to meet Warabi in the plaza.

Neta: uuuhhhhhh....*sigh* fine

_______________________________________________

Warabi: so I was thinking something like this.

Neta: you don't need anything like that. You just need a practical apartment. Two bedrooms, two baths. What about this one?

Ikkan: this one's nice. Why are we going and see?

Warabi: this one I don't know..... Doesn't really look nice

Neta: well that's just the outside. You don't know what it's like inside. Come on let's go! Hey we read that there was a vacant apartment available? You would like to see it please.

Leasing agent: right this way

_______________________________________________

Neta: see this one is nice. Nice kitchen. Two bedrooms on each side have your own privacy.

Warabi: I wanted something more........open... A little more spacious

Ikkan: that's fair. Okay, let's go to another complex.

Neta: He's going to choose the most expensive fucking one I know it

Ikkan: That's why we're here babe

Warabi: What about this one this is perfect!

Ikkan: Warabi...... That's too much

Neta: I mean there are three people going to live there, let's just check it out.

Ikkan: *sigh*

_______________________________________________

Warabi: see this is nice. It's open. It's spacious The kitchen's bigger the three bedrooms downstairs with the loft upstairs. It's perfect

Neta: It's over your budget like way over your budget

Warabi: No it isn't. You pay me well enough for me to afford this.

Neta: I can't even afford this!

Warabi: I can just ask my parents for a small loan-

Neta: I'm going to stop you right there. Absolutely not! Your parents want you to live on your own without them and that's what you're going to do. You're going to find a reasonable place for three people. That means two bedrooms, two baths, one kitchen and one living space!

Warabi: what are you my dad?

Neta: do you want me to call your dad? I have your mom's number I can call her and put him on the phone right now if that's what you want?

Warabi:mmmm

Ikkan: let's go back to searching

_______________________________________________

Ikkan: What about this one? This one's nice.

Warabi: I don't know

Neta: come on it's great. The bedrooms are kind of small but it makes up for the spacious kitchen and living space. Put a sectional in here a nice rug Maybe a dining table? I think this is good.

Warabi: What do you think mahi

Neta: I'm sorry who

Mahi: It's all right. I thought you wanted a loft though

Neta: uh hello Mahi, I hope there aren't any customers in there right now while you're FaceTiming us.

Mahi: no just that dead tied bitch.

Neta: hmm.

Mhai: this place is nice. What are the bed rooms look like?

Warabi: fucking shoe boxes

Mahi: oh...... next apartment

Neta: are you kidding me? This is a perfect size for you guys.

Warabi: next!!

_______________________________________________

Neta: maybe we should start looking for houses

Ikkan: well we first need to know what area we're going to live in. I know you want something close to your new store, but I also need something near the school. I'm going to work at maybe 30 minutes away.

Neta: well depending on what school you pick I think we should be closer to that instead. You're going to be at an art school so I can enroll Cirrina in that school as well, make it easier and you know I don't mind traveling a little ways to work.

Ikkan: I really don't want to be in the suburbs I definitely don't want to be in one of those fancy places in the hills Everyone there is stuck up... I was thinking maybe buy some land and we can build a house

Neta: It's too much money

Ikkan: you forget my dad knows a lot about that type of stuff he has a lot of friends who are able to help too, so won't be that much. [Peck] I still have money from my squid squad days in savings. Money isn't an issue.

Neta: I don't want you to just spend your money on it. This is supposed to be together thing we buy it together

Ikkan: we'll figure it Hey, if I spend money on the exterior maybe you can spend money on the interior You're better doing that type of stuff .

Neta: I actually started an Inkterest bored. Just for the interior

Ikkan: Inkterest board...wow hehe

Neta: I was thinking something earthly. browns and grays [Kiss] maybe a place with a lot of windows and natural lighting. purple furniture to compliment the green of your plants.

Ikkan: ohhhh sounds interesting. I really want a kitchen island. With a built-in trash can.

Neta: yeah? I can make that happen I can make your dream kitchen.

Ikkan: really?

Neta: of course I am already looking at stuff like that refrigerator with the hidden door and that table top stove hehehe

Ikkan: the electric one?

Neta: of course not babe the gas one. I know what you like

Ikkan: mmmm you really do. [Kiss]

Warabi:...................................... We're at our next stop... Cod damn

Neta: [kiss]- huh oh home already?

Warabi: No, you have one more complex to look at.

Mahi: what happened?

Warabi: nothing they were being old and gross. Making out on a public train

Mahi: ew!

Ikkan: no we weren't

Neta: shut up! You two would be lucky if your relationship last long enough to get to be old and gross

_______________________________________________

Neta: crableg capital?? Which building are we looking at because if it's my building I refuse?

Warabi: oh calm down we're looking at apartment D not even close to yours.

Neta: I say we go back to founder heights. That last apartment was nice

Warabi: that last apartment was horrible. It was small, dirty and way too close to the turf war map.

Neta: and this one isn't?! The map is right there! I can see my daughter play from my window sometime.

Mahi: you're just saying that because you don't want us to be neighbors!

Neta: that's exactly why I'm saying it! Pick another complex! Don't live near me!

Ikkan: I think this would be nice. The living area and the kitchen isn't as spacious as you want but it makes up for the loft upstairs. It's a one bedroom one bath.

Neta: baby!

Warabi: I call the loft!

Mahi: that's fine I want my privacy anyway.

_______________________________________________

Ikkan: we can go to 'hth furniture company' after this. Maybe look around and also buy a bedframe.

Neta: I kinda want the low ones close to the floor, we can put the mattress on top of so we don't need a box spring.

Ikkan: that sounds nice. You think that'll be good for your back tho?

Neta: I don't think it'll be-

Warabi: BAJA!!! My boyfriend is here!

Baja: hi Warabi.... Hey guys.

Neta: hey Baja....... you got back from a mission or something?

Baja: Yeah We're trying to collect all the remaining zap fish left in octavio valley. Is this the apartment?

Warabi: yes! [Kiss kiss kiss] We're going to be living together! Like a couple!

Baja: oh okay..... I guess we go in now right?

Warabi: yes come on let's go look! Ugh I can't wait to decorate it with you!

Baja: ok

Neta: think they're kind of rushing this?

Ikkan: a little... Sorta like we did. Hehehe.

_______________________________________________

Baja: wow! This place is nice. It's just the same apartment as Neta's apartment but empty.

Neta: since you're going to live in a replica of my place, you don't need to go to the real thing.

Warabi: What do you think? Mahi

Mahi: It's perfect and it's close to Neta's so we can bother him a lot easier now.

Neta: no No!

Ikkan: like you said, we're only going to be for a while and we get married we'll leave and they'll be out of our tentacles.

Neta: out of your tentacles I still have to work with these people. All right, let's go talk to the leasing agent and get you guys set up.

Warabi: yayyy.... Let's get something to eat. You guys said you were going to hth furniture company that's in the mall. We can meet up with Mahi.

Neta: yeah No you two. Go home and pack up your stuff and prepare for the move Go home. Both of you get lost! Go shoo bye.

Ikkan: hehehehehehehe

_______________________________________________

Mahi ignored several customers while they were FaceTiming Warabi @fish-at-fish-fish-resort

[fff777]

Watched the NCT Dream 7th anniversary video (7 to 7)

They finally changed their seating arrangement! Not that the usual one is BAD but like, some variation is nice.

Jeno: After seven years, we still talk over each other.

The kimchi stew fight was memorable to Haechan ^^;; Affection to him is fighting I guess lol.

Teddy on Jisung's shoulder :3

Renjun and Haechan had a huge fist fight where their clothes were all torn and then they made up on the spot all within 15 minutes X'D That's so freaking dramatic what the heck.

Chenle dropping the bomb that he and Jeno fought and Jeno being like "...we did?" Flashback to when Chenle said he and Jisung had an argument and Jisung was like "...that was an argument?" Chenle being dramatic.

So Dream's infrequent fights start because of jokes eh. I'm reminded of how GOT7's fights are often because of food ^^;; I guess every group has its quirks.

Jaemin @ Haechan: Get the order right, YOU got covid first, and then I did.

I wonder why Jaemin was in the VCR and not Haechan though. I guess it was filmed when Haechan had covid but Jaemin hasn't gotten it yet?

Wow we're finally hearing about the scavenger hunt lol. So the guys went to a vacation home but Renjun was worried they'd find it boring so he set up an entire scavenger hunt at his own expense, and then went to Mark to tell him about it because Mark was leader XD

Jisung: It was fun :3

All of them remembering 7llin' in our Youth >w<

Jisung crying every day for the last three concerts ToT A sensitive boi.

Mark was like this the entire time Renjun was telling his story about hitting his head ToT

Jisung got hurt trying to kick Chenle's ass and they're still talking about it years later ToT

Omg they LIED about it and said that Jisung got hurt practising XD

I'm not even half way through the video but they have so many memories...they spent a lot of time together huh. Like athletes, celebrities also experience the highest of highs and lowest of lows. The highs are great but the lows are inevitable and it's nice that they have each other to rely on ;_;

Oh man I do the same thing when I get excited or very happy, I do the kitty paws thing and just shake my paws a lot.

Chenle telling the fans to be their stars and then them looking up and seeing the moon...Jisung really is such a romantic.

Is that Chenle's assigned kaomoji?

Chenle being nosy

"Jisung still isn't done yet." "HE ONLY WROTE TWO LINES"

Jisung and Haechan have known each other for 10 years ToT

After the other guys come back Jisung is STILL writing. He has a lot of feelings okay ToT

Mark wanted to write a letter back to the him that would have been graduating ToT

Wait whose decision was it to put on the music while Renjun read his letter ToT

They found out they'd be back to 7Dream during Ridin'???

Jeno had a lot of worries while Mark was gone...like the guys obviously tease Mark a lot, but it shows how each member is so important to the group T_T Yeah I totally buy into the 7Dream stuff TAT

"Don't lose the friendship ring." As I'm writing this (weeks ago when I would have queued this post) I just spilled like a quarter of the expensive peach juice I bought and I've been feeling glum about it...this makes me feel a little better because at least I didn't lose the expensive ring that is a representation of my friendship XD

Is Jeno controlling the music??? I can't see clearly.

Haechan kept getting interrupted ToT I can't tell if it was an accident or if they're actually clowning him on purpose ToT

Jaemin's message as always....好行啊!! XD Just focuses on the fans without saying too much about himself.

Renjun would've cried if there was a fire...also sensitive boi.

Mark sooo pleased with Chenle's casual message :P

Jisung's message is so direct :P He writes it like it's a mystery to be solved.

Pretty sure kyuu pose has nothing to do with 7, they just like the kyuu pose lol

YES they all called out Jisung for always skipping out on doing kyuu pose lol. He's in his rebellious phase and doesn't want to be cute.

Haechan: If we catch you not doing it again, we'll shave your hair

I don't know when this started but I think Haechan made this threat during the Finding U-jeong videos too XD

Jaemin: We will sue you (for not doing the kyuu pose) XD

Yep, Jisung wants to be cool instead of cringe lol

Jaemin: You (Mark) always talk about growing old

It's because Mark is a sap!!! He's a romantic too. He's sooo emotional about the Dreamies.

The camera and printer are kind of cool though.

So Jaemin started the Dream trend of ultra-close ups :3

My Jaemren :3

They all ended up wearing their rings on that day :3 Renjun the group glue is so happy. He even got them to take a photo with all their ringed hands :3

They really are just kids hanging out ;_;

Chenle: 我做的好不好?

Renjun: 做的好

Other Dreamies: *Trying to copy them*

Oh man...Dream's story is so touching, that's how they got me v.v

[lovemesomesurveys]

What did you eat for lunch today? My leftover lemon pepper boneless wings from Wingstop. 

Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake? By a beach for sure. 

Have you watched any good horror/thriller movies lately? I watched X a few weeks ago and I thought it was good. I want to watch the prequel now, Pearl. 

How would you feel about traveling abroad alone? I honestly would be too afraid to go alone. I wouldn’t feel safe or comfortable. I’d love to travel abroad if I could take someone with me, though. 

What was the last thing you watched on TV? I have Everybody Loves Raymond on in the background. 

Do you know your blood type? Yes. 

Yesterday, did you get up before 9am? I usually get up at 6 or 7. I sometimes go back to sleep until like 9 or 10, though. Every once in awhile I’ll actually sleep in until then. 

How many times does the number ‘7’ occur in your phone number? It doesn’t. 

What was your favorite board game as a child? Trouble, Sorry, and Chutes and Ladders. 

Are you a coffee drinker? Yeppp. 

When are you going on vacation again? I don’t have any plans as of now. It’ll be awhile before I can go anywhere. 

Who did you last have an alcoholic drink with? A group of friends several years ago. 

What are you going to do after this? I’ll be getting ready for bed. 

Who was the last person you were under the covers with? Just me.

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yeah.

What did you do today? I first got up around 7, but I went back to bed until a little after 10. After I got up, I took a couple of my morning meds and then a little bit later my mom gave me the rest of my meds and one of my shakes via the feeding tube. Then I ate breakfast and had my coffee while catching up on social media and checking TikTok. Then the rest of the day I scrolled through Tumblr, watched TV, had lunch, did some reading, rested, and had dinner.

How is your hair? It’s ugly right now. It’s still short from when I chopped all my hair a couple summers ago and has no style to it. I really want it to grow more and dye it red again. 

Do you like to cuddle? I really haven’t had much cuddling experience to be honest. I probably wouldn’t be able to cuddle long cause I’d get too hot haha. 

Name something great that happened today? I’m trying to get back into my reading groove again and did a decent amount of reading today. Ooh, and my mom bought me more Reese’s lol. 

How many different people of the opposite sex have you really cried over? A few. 

When was the last time you saw your father? Like twenty minutes ago.

Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor? No.

Do you like your life as of now? It needs a lot of work.

Who was the last person you hung out one-on-one with? My mom.

Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant? I’d be really freaked out and confused to say the very least because I don’t know how that would happen being I’m a virgin and I can’t get pregnant.

Last thing you drank? Coffee.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today? No.

Do you tend to make relationships complicated? I tend to make everything complicated. 

Could you go a day without eating? I have sometimes back when I was having eating and appetite issues. There were days I didn’t eat much, which wasn’t good either. It led to a lot of problems and needing a feeding tube, so there’s that. I can’t go a day anymore without eating. 

Ever kissed anyone whose name starts with a M? No.

Where did your last kiss take place? I don’t remember, it was so long ago.

Have you ever met any bands/band members before? I met this band called Honor Society several years ago when I saw the Jonas Brothers. I’m pretty sure they’re not together anymore.

Do you use online banking? Do you have an app on your phone? Yes.

How old were you when you started buying your own clothes? I think in middle school I did sometimes. My freshman year is when I started doing more shopping, though. It was cool because my dad worked at the mall and I sometimes went to work with him on the weekends and got to hang out there for hours. It was really cool when we got there before the mall even opened because I was able to go shopping right when stores opened and I’d pretty much have the mall to myself for a bit. 

Who does most of the chores in your house? My mom. 

What is your least favourite household chore? I’m not particularly fond of any chores. 

What was your first job? Did you like it? I’ve never had a job. 

What was the last food you were craving? Did you get some? Wingstop and yes I had it for dinner yesterday and my leftovers for lunch today. 

Has anyone ever seen you naked? Yes. 

How do you get around? Car, bike, public transport? Well, since being home from the hospital I’ve been using a transport service to go places because I’m taken on a gurney. It’ll be that way until near the end of the year. 

How often do you see your parents? Everyday, we live together. 

Do you own your cell phone or is it on a plan? I’m on a family plan. 

Where do you get most of your clothes? Boxlunch and Hot Topic. 

Do you remember how old you were when you first started using computers? When I was in kindergarten we played educational games on them. My family got our first computer when I was 9. 

What is the first video game you remember playing? Super Mario World. 

Have you ever dated a Josh? No.

Does your family do reunion gatherings? We’ve done several, but it’s been several years since our last one. We did that a lot when I was growing up.

What would you order to drink if you were in a bar right now? A soda. 

How old were you when you started to wear a bra, if ever? I was in 7th grade. 

Do you have any long-lost loves? No. When was the last time you had a first kiss? Uh, I had my very first kiss when I was 16.

How many homes have you ever lived in? Two. 

When was the last time you moved? 11 years ago.

Have you ever donated money to charity? Yes.

What’s your favourite type of exercise? None.

How many jobs have you had? Zero.

When was the last time you dined at your favourite restaurant? I don’t have a favorite restaurant. 

What do you keep in your bedside table? Well, I have two. One has 3 drawers and I keep miscellaneous stuff in those and on top is my lotions and body sprays. I also have a TV tray that’s closer to me that I have my drinks and some snacks on. I also have a few scrunchies and a pack of rubber bands on it right now. 

Have you ever given your number to someone? Yeah.

Do you have an ensuite bathroom? No.

What shoes do you wear the most? I actually haven’t worn any shoes in several months since I was in the hospital and then even since I’ve been home. When I go to my doctor appointments I’m taken on a gurney and just wear socks cause who cares. Anyway, before all that I always wore my black Adidas. 

How old were you when you learned how to drive? I haven’t. 

Have you ever been to a baby shower? What was the baby's name? I’ve been to a few. 

What mode of transport did you take to high school? My mom usually took me, but once in awhile my dad or aunt did. 

Name a personality trait of yours that you like. I’m understanding. 

Name something about your physical attraction that you dislike. Ugh, everything. I’m a real mess right now and extra self-conscious. 

What's in your purse right now? I don’t have one currently.

Do you vote in your country's elections? Yes.

What was your first kiss like? It was awkward, but I was just all giddy about having had my first kiss lol. 

Shuffle your music and skip twice. What song is playing? Nah. 

Have you ever been a freelancer? Nope.

What mood were you in when you woke up today? Tired.

What storey is your bedroom on? I live in a one-story house. 

What gifts do you usually receive at Easter? Usually gift cards, something else like a shirt or stuffed animal, and candy.

Do you use a planner to keep track of your life? I use my notes and calendar apps to keep track of some things. 

Who was the last person you sent an email to? I have no idea, it’s been quite awhile since I’ve sent an email. 

Are there any posters in your bedroom? Yes.

What was your favourite fairytale as a kid? Does Alice in Wonderland count?

Is there anything in your freezer that you really need to get rid of? *shrug*

Have you ever played Second Life? No.

What do you like about the town or city you live in? Only that my family is here, otherwise my city is awful. 

What do you dislike about the town or city you live in? It’s not the best or safest place to live. 

Are your parents good cooks? Yes. 

What's the first thing you notice about a person? I honestly don’t really know. 

Have you ever been to a chiropractor? Did you like it? I’ve never been. What is your favourite museum? I don’t have a particular favorite, but I enjoy going to historical museums. Although, I think if I ever went to the Smithsonian it would become my favorite. It sounds so cool.

Do you know anyone who is an actor? No.

Have your wisdom teeth come through yet? I got them taken out when I was a teenager. 

How many weddings have you been to? Three. 

Do you watch Youtube? What channels do you like? Yes, I watch a lot of YouTube.

What's your alcohol of choice? None.

Have you ever used a public pay phone? I have. 

Which one item would you save from your burning house? Gah, that would be so hard to just grab one thing. I’d of course want to grab many things like my phone, laptop, and some other things, but if I could only grab one I’d have to grab my meds. I’m grouping them as one thing cause they’re all together in this little tub thing that I could just quickly grab. There’s also medical supplies I’d really need cause they’re not stuff I can buy at the store. 

Do you have a Twitter account? I do.

What is your hair like right now? Like an ugly mess. 

How do you like your eggs cooked? Over-easy, scrambled, hard boiled, deviled. 

What's the longest you've been without showering? The 3 months I was in the hospital. I only could have bed baths. 

Name one of your guilty pleasure songs. I don’t have one.

Have you ever made an item of clothing? Nope.

What was the most expensive bill you paid within the last month? My credit card bills are kinda high. :/

[motownfiction]

“you look cold, do you want a hug?”

By the time the homecoming dance comes around, it’s chilly in Detroit. Most of the girls at St. Catherine’s have two choices: wear a clunky winter jacket that clashes with the expensive dress you bought, or freeze on the front lawn while your parents take more pictures than they’ll ever need. For her first homecoming dance with a boyfriend, Carrie opts to freeze.

She’s at the Doyles’ place with her mother, Ginny, who can’t stop snapping pictures to save her life. It’s like she’s working overtime to prove that a boy really likes her daughter. She looks up at Charlie, whose arms are draped around her like Frankenstein’s monster. She notices he’s smiling like Frankenstein’s monster, too. Maybe it was that early Boo Berry he got his hands on this morning.

“Caroline, smile!” Ginny says. “I wanna get you from this angle.”

“I’d smile if you didn’t call me by my full name,” Carrie says.

“You have a beautiful full name. You’re a beautiful girl. That’s why I gave it to you. Now, smile so Mommy can get you from this angle.”

Carrie rolls her eyes and smiles for the camera. That’s Mom. A little in love with appearances, but well meaning. Always well meaning.

Ginny puts her camera around her neck and walks over to Charlie’s mother, Maggie, who put her camera away five minutes ago.

“You sure you don’t want more of these?” Ginny asks.

Maggie shakes her head.

“I think we’ve got enough,” she says. “Charlie hates getting his picture taken, which, as his mother, I hate.”

“Carrie doesn’t like getting her picture taken, either. I don’t know what’s wrong with ‘em. They’re both gorgeous.”

“Gorgeous and ready for a break,” Carrie says, and she’s amazed by how quickly Charlie removes his arms from her.

“Gotta go,” he says and rushes into the house.

Carrie shakes her head and chuckles after him. He’s the cutest in the world, she thinks. That’s when Sam walks over to her. Sam. Charlie’s big brother, eighteen years old, recent high school graduate and current 7-Eleven cashier. He’s one of the smartest people ever to come out of St. Catherine’s, but he decided to skip the four-year college thing. Even if Carrie thinks she’d die without at least a bachelor’s degree, she has to admire Sam. Guy sticks to his gut.

“He has to go to the bathroom,” Sam says as he approaches. “Charlie.”

“Yeah, I figured that out,” Carrie says. “Context clues.”

“Sure.”

He takes a step back and points to her dress.

“You’re wearing blue again this year,” he says. “Took my advice when I ran into you at the mall last year, huh?”

Carrie grins and twirls in the grass like a fool. She doesn’t feel like one, though.

“Yeah, well, you were right,” she says. “Looks good with my eyes.”

She feels her teeth knock together and every hair on her arms stand up straight.

“And apparently, it’ll look good with my extremities,” Carrie says. “Holy shit.”

“You look cold,” Sam says, “do you want a hug?”

Carrie looks at him with one furrowed brow.

“From you?” she asks.

“That’s what I’m suggesting.”

She laughs and shivers at the same time. There’s something funny about hugging Sam Doyle, and it’s not that her big sister, Andie, used to have a big crush on him. It’s not even that she’s dating his little brother. It’s that he’s Sam Doyle. Around these parts, that almost kind of means something.

“Eh, what the hell,” she finally says. “Bring it in.”

Sam gets his arms around her for less than two seconds. But in those two seconds, Carrie imagines half a lifetime.

It’s the weirdest thing.

And it’s gone by the time Charlie walks back out onto the lawn for more pictures.

[anuragthecoach]

CAN A BUSINESS WORTH CRORES START WITHOUT MONEY? – 2 

In the previous post we talked about some people who had no money, no employees when they started but now they are among the top most millionaires in the world. Let us continue to take a few more examples of such businessmen.

Have you heard the name of the BYJU’S app? This app was started in 2015, today it is close to 5-6 trillion. Started from Bangalore, this app has spread to many countries today. It is one of the top five startups in India. It takes a lot of hard work time to become a billionaire by traditional business. If we talk about Mukesh Ambani, it took 60-70 years for him and his father to become a millionaire.

But there are so many digital businesses like BYJU’S App which are becoming a billionaire only in 6-7 years, not in 60-70 years. If you take the advantage of internet, without much money, without much effort, your company can be brought to the news very quickly. Did BYJU’S have enough money when it started? Were there too many employees? Both of his parents were teachers and even Byju was an employed person.

He was not even fond of teaching or studying. His interest was in sports. BYJU loved playing. He never tried to do business. Everyone was in service in his family and he did the same. He had no money. BYJU became a teacher as soon as he taught his friends free lessons, soon he opened his institute, earned more money by teaching, and with this money he took more steps. He earned more money from it. And when the money came, tell me what else he did? He made more money from that money.

He bought a gaming app worth 35 billion rupees a few months ago to take his business further. So now BYJU puts billions in his business. And he is confident that he will do it and he does. So what have we learned? BYJU did not invest money at first, he kept earning and spending money and now he spends billions so easily as if it is nothing for him.

If you see closely, you would notice that all big business started from a garage.

If you do not have money, then it’s good because then only you will hurry, you will try hard and try to win in some way. On the contrary, if you have a lot of money, you will reduce hard work, you will try to achieve success with money and not with your mind. So it is better to have no money. People ask whether business worth crores of rupees be started without money? Yes, this is what is happening all around you. There are many examples around us! At home and abroad.

Not just business, even if you want the whole country, you can make it rich despite being in bad shape and bad condition!

The England whose sun never sunk, the same England was beaten so much in the second world war that there was no money to run the country, there was no money to fix the bombed buildings and they had even lost their courage to run that countries they ruled!

And not only England, many countries like Japan, Poland, France, Germany had very bad condition. In the second world war, about 5 to 8 crore people were killed. That means every country lost millions and millions.

Do you believe this is right? And now how are these countries? These are developed countries, rich countries! They earn & they use money! And they go on becoming richer & richer. I understand running a country is similar to running a business.

And by the way, you would also know that these political parties do not do any social work, they also run the business. They have also become billionaires today by following this principle. There was no money in the pocket! They kept making money & investing it. Let’s leave politics, let’s go back to business!

So, we were talking about taking the steps slowly. Taking steps slowly is not wrong. Yes, it is wrong not to take steps! Walt Disney used to say … the way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing! Enough of talks! Get up and start a business… and take care… no business is small and no religion bigger than business!

If you want to grow your business or want to become a good confident speaker then you can join our “courses“. Our “benchmark your business” workshop which is for business owners whose annual turnover is more than 50L and less than 2.5 crores. You can also join our business coursewhere you would be among businessmen and you would learn a lot more.

[idy-ll-ique]

My Little Secret.

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Innocent!F!Reader

Genre : Fluff, little bit of Angst

Warnings: none

Requested: nope

Summary: Y/N listens to music 24/7 on Spotify. At first Ransom is irritated, but now he knows just how to use the application to his benefit. I mean, come on, it can't be considered stalking if it's his wife, right?

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! oml a ransom drysdale fanfiction 😳 if I ever meet this asshole in real life I'd sock him in the jaw but in fiction? mamma mia. enjoy!

---

Does she really love an app more than me?

Ransom scoffed to himself as he opened his laptop, clicking on the music app, Spotify. He rarely used it, but his wife was obsessed with it. She listened to music 24/7; singing along to the soft tunes in her playlists while working, reading, cleaning, cooking, anything. Ransom thought it was insane how submerged she was in the activity.

Until that activity gave him an upper-hand in their relationship.

When he had first opened the app on his laptop, he was a tad bit surprised at the "Friends Activity" feature. He saw her account. Then, as more months passed, he started noticing how when she was happy, she'd always be listening to some happy playlist, when she was sad she'd be listening to sad songs, et cetera. And he started using it to his advantage.

Now, everyday before leaving his office he'd check the app to see what playlist she was listening to. If it was a happy, dance playlist, well and fine. But a sad one? Ransom's mood would also sour because my darling is not feeling okay. While going home, he'd buy something for her; mostly flowers or chocolates, or a nice little trinket that he'd find in the displays of shops that he thought his wife would enjoy.

He never told her about it. What he was doing would be considered stalking but come on, is it stalking if she's your wife? As the app finally loaded, his eyes immediately strayed to the Friends Activity and his heart clenched when he saw her listening to her sad playlist that she had named Melancholy. Sighing, he turned off the laptop and left his office for the night.

As he drove back home, he stopped outside a flower shop and bought an adorable little bouquet of mixed flowers. "She'll love it," the florist assured him, assuming he was buying it for his significant other. He gave her a quick smile and got back into the car, driving home as fast as he could. When he reached home, his heart broke at the sniffle he heard.

"Kitten?" Y/N's head shot up at her husband's voice as she hurriedly wiped her tears, getting up from her spot on the couch. "Hi, welcome home," she whispered, giving him a quick peck on the lips, smiling widely to avoid being caught. "Hello, how was your day?" He wanted to sigh, to chide her for keeping her bad mood from him, but he only smiled at how cute she looked trying to hide her true feelings.

"It wasn't bad! So, shower first and dinner later or dinner first?"

Now was the time. "Kitten, the truth, please. How was your day?" He raised a stern eyebrow when her face fell. How does he always read me so well? Knowing she couldn't hide now, she hung her head low as her shoulders sagged. "It was bad," she muttered. Ransom pulled her close, her head resting on his chest, his chin atop her head. "What happened? I swear if it's those fucking coworkers of yours—"

Her silence gave him the answer. The thing is, when Ransom and Y/N had started going out, everyone in the city was shocked. A cute, innocent little thing like her dating an asshole like him? Why? She had lost quite a few friends when she told them, but Ransom was there for her. "You don't need them, you have me." He was right. While the world saw him as a first-class jerk, he was the softest soul with her.

Her priorities were always placed before his. He took care of her, treated her like no previous boyfriend of hers had, and within 2 years of dating, he had proposed. People were even more shocked. She managed to get him to settle down?! How?! Then the gossip began. "He has to be cheating, I mean look at him. Look at her," she had heard one time after the engagement. That had made her super upset.

"Ransom, they're talking… someone said you were cheating on me…" She had broken down on his chest that night, crying her eyes out. And Ransom had immediately switched off the television. He sat up, holding her close. "You know I'd never do that, angel. Why would I, when you're with me? Do you really think those women out there have the same effect on me that you do? Huh?"

"Well, they said… they said I was ugly."

"What?! Those fucking whores—"

"Ransom, don't call them that," she had chided, swatting his chest. He caught the hand and brought it to his lips, kissing each fingertip. "If it makes you feel better, no, I'm not cheating on you. I love you a little too much to do that. You mean the world to me, Y/N, there's no one on this planet I'd rather be with than you. And you are the most beautiful person I've ever seen, in and out," he told her sincerely.

Her crying ceased. "Thank you." And he held her close the entire night, rubbing her back as she slept on him. People talking about him? He could handle that, God knows he had been handling that for years. But them talking about her? His perfect, angelic, goddess-like fiancée? No, no, he wouldn't handle that. That whole thing was 4 years ago. People still talked.

"What did they say to you, Y/N?" he asked, coming back to the real world.

"They asked me why I was still with you." He exhaled loudly through his nose when Y/N's arms tightened around him. "I told them I loved you. You are nice, you're not what everyone says you are. But then Amy talked about… about how you used to be— what was the word she used? Oh, uh, yeah, she said you were something of a Casanova before you met me. But I told her that was over."

His arms snaked around her waist, his fingers gently dancing over her hips as she continued speaking. "She insisted that people can't just change over a small period of time. I tried ignoring her but then she started gossiping with someone else about you. And then I snapped at her. But you know me…" Ransom hummed, pressing his lips to her forehead.

His wife had a docile soul. Everything from her looks to her mannerisms was soft. She couldn't yell, she couldn't tell people off— she was too pure to do that. The world needed people like her, to be honest. That was also one of the things he liked about her. Sometimes, he thought about how beneficial it would be for her to hold her own in a fight, but his ego shoved the thought down each time.

He liked being her big protector. He loved taking care of her like that. "Yes, I know, angel. You're too good for this world, you know that?" he mumbled, slightly pulling away from her so he could cup her face, looking into her eyes. She huffed and looked away. "I'm too soft. I can't help it. I don't want to be this way." He chuckled and leaned over to kiss her. "Oh no, you should definitely be this way."

"Why?"

"Because it suits you. Don't change for people who don't even care about you. I like you like this; gentle, caring… you have the biggest heart in the world, Y/N. And I want to keep it that way. Don't let people ruin your innocence. Keep being you." He pressed her closer when she started sniffling again. "You're too good to me," she pouted and he laughed. "That's my duty as your husband, kitten. Look, I bought flowers."

He took out the bouquet from his bag, smiling when Y/N's eager hands accepted it. "Thank you! Oh, these are so beautiful! Let me replace the flowers in the vase on the dining table!" Squealing, she walked away from him, leaving him to stare after her with an infatuated smile. You have no idea what you do to me, angel.

---

"Night, Ran," Y/N yawned, keeping her phone away. He held his arm up and Y/N snuggled into his side, allowing him to wrap his arm around her side. "Night, sweetheart," he whispered, leaning down to kiss her nose. He watched TV for some time until the match got boring; then he switched it off and carefully lay down on the bed, about to doze off when Y/N's phone rang. He blinked. Who'd be calling at his hour?

He lifted the phone off the nightstand, grimacing when he saw the Caller ID. Amy. As soon as he picked the phone up, Amy started blabbering. "Hi! Sorry I'm calling so late, Y/N, but I wanted to apologize for how I spoke to you at work today. It was wrong of me, really, I hope you can forgive me!" Ransom stayed silent, his jaw clenched. He had been hearing that line for years.

"Ransom, it's okay, she apologized, she won't be doing it again. She told me so herself!"

It was never the last time.

"Are you done?" he snapped and Amy froze on the other side. "M-Mr Drysdale—" "Listen, I don't want to hear it. I'm not Y/N; she has a heart of gold, God, I wonder why I let her hang out with people whose hearts are made of pure shit. How many times have you apologized for the same thing, huh? Using my girl's pure heart to your fucking advantage like that?"

"You're being—"

"I'm being what? I'm being rude? Who started it? If you ever mention our marriage in front of Y/N again, I'll have your fucking head." Amy bristled on the other side. "Are you threatening me?" Ransom smirked. "If you don't want to be threatened, I suggest you keep your nose out of other people's business. What mine and Y/N's relationship is like is no one's concern."

Amy stayed silent. "Gossiping won't get you anywhere. I have the best lawyers in the city, and I swear, if Y/N comes crying to me one more time about how someone was rude to her, I'll sue. Trust me, I will take legal action. Is that understood?" Amy quaked at his menacing tone. "Y-Yes, sir." Ransom's lips curled into a devious smile. "Great." And he ended the call.

"Ransom, who was that?" Y/N sleepily murmured next to him. She hadn't heard a word of the conversation, but could tell he was on the phone. "No one you need to worry about, sweetheart, go to sleep. I'm here." He lay down next to her, pulling her close. "You know, I have a question." He nodded at her to go on. "How do you always know when I'm going to be in a bad mood?"

"What do you mean?" he smiled, knowing exactly what she meant. "I mean, I have been wondering for years! Everytime I happen to be in a bad mood, you bring home a gift. It's like— it's like you can read my mind! How?! It can't be a coincidence, it has happened a lot of times for it to be a coincidence," she rambled and Ransom's heart fluttered at how innocent and adorable she looked.

"I have my ways," he teased, lightly poking her nose. "You're not gonna tell me, are you?" she pouted and he couldn't help but lean forward, pressing his lips to hers. "Nope, just so I can keep surprising you." She giggled, snuggling further into his arms until her face was pressed into his bare chest. "I love you so much, Ransom," she whispered. "I love you more, my sweet little angel."

Both of them went to sleep with giddy smiles on their faces.

Oh, and the Spotify thing? That was his little secret. Shh, don't tell anyone!

---

A/N: Leave a like if you enjoyed, thanks for reading!

[brokestminimalist]

Broke Laundry: updated 2021

For the time being, let's skip talking about how almost all of us have too many clothes.   The clothes that you have get dirty, and must be washed.  I am going to assume you have access to a modern washing machine, either at your house or a laundromat. We'll call step one sorting:

Sorting: Ain’t nobody got time for this.  This is an extra chore that is 99% not necessary.  Unless you have specialty fabrics or are particular about how white your whites are, it’s just added  stress and a waste of time.  I don't actually own any white clothes anymore, but if I did I'd run a load of whites with a cup of bleach once a month. I do not own things that can’t survive the washing machine, either.  No delicates, no dry cleaning.  I wash towels with clothes, and sheets together with bedspreads. Cleaning rags and towels have their own basket and get washed when it gets full.

Laundry Detergent: Avoid the very cheapest for the sake of your darks, but there is no need to spring for the most expensive thing on the shelf.  In fact, I make laundry detergent from one part washing soda, one part Borax, and one part soap. A double batch is enough detergent to last three months for a single person. Good recipes can be had all over the internet, so go forth and find yourself one.  If you’re washing in cold water and your tap water is very cold, such as in the winter, you may find it necessary to stir your homemade detergent into a cup of hot water before putting it into the machine. Out of detergent?  A spoonful of dish soap will do in a pinch.  Regardless of whether you’re using store bought or homemade, don’t use too much detergent; it’s bad for the machine, the environment, and your clothes.  We do not want to buy new clothes until we absolutely have to, right?  Right.

Fabric Softener: I recently saw a headline about how Millennials are killing the fabric softener industry.  The truth is, they are prioritizing groceries and lights over luxuries like Downy.  If you must have it and can afford it, go ahead.  Measure carefully but don’t dilute unless the package says so.  Fabric softener sheets are a good alternative, if you are using a dryer.  Here at Brokest Minimalist, we use a Downy ball with white vinegar in it.  The vinegar cuts soap residue, softens most fabrics, and is much cheaper.  Plus it’s versatile enough to be used for cleaning as well.  An added bonus is that it doesn’t reduce the absorbency of your towels like regular fabric softener does.

Water:  Set your washer on Tap Cold. Yes, really.  Unless your clothes are very greasy, almost anything can be washed in cold water and will get just as clean.  It isn’t so much the temperature of the water or even the detergent that does the washing, as much as it is the action of the clothes rubbing against each other inside the machine.  Anything that’s machine washable can be washed in cold water, period.

Settings: On our machine at home, clothes go on “casual” and sheets/bedspreads on “heavy duty”. Don’t stress too much about this.  Choose a water level that is appropriate to how full the machine is, add your stuff, and go ahead.

Drying:  Here at Brokest Minimalist, we don’t dry anything in the dryer.  Why?  Because air dries stuff for free, that’s why.  Clothes dryers are one of the most frivolous uses of electricity in the modern world.  They are also one of the number one causes of fire in the United States, after candles and cooking fires.  Unless you are in a huge hurry, hang your clothes to dry. Outdoors if possible, as sun dried clothing smells much better than any fabric softener does.  You don’t even have to spend all afternoon pinning stuff to a clothesline like your great-grandma did, either! Our system is beautiful in its simplicity.  We take our clothes out of the washing machine, hang them on clothes hangers, and then hang the hangers on the clothesline.  If you have a smooth line, tie knots in it or use clothespins to keep stuff from sliding back and forth in the breeze.  If you don’t have a line, put one up or buy a portable or retractable one. In summer your clothes will be dry within an hour in direct sunlight, which is a comparable time to many dryers.  If it’s raining, you can hang them indoors over curtain rods, from your mantel, or on your shower curtain rod.  Even if it’s freezing outside, in direct sunlight your clothes will dry within a few hours. For free.  No kidding.  And UV light is a great sanitizer if you’re worried about germs! Here we hang our and towels and unmentionables on racks purchased from Amazon, such as this and this.  Another tidbit we have figured out, is that there is no need to wait until daylight to hang your clothes. In the old days it was nigh unheard of, but there’s no harm.  The morning dew won’t make your wet clothes wetter.   Do you work nights?  Do a load of laundry after you get home from work and hang it out to dry, even if it’s midnight.  It will be dry by lunchtime tomorrow.   This saves wear and tear on your clothes, it saves electricity, it won’t create extra static like the dryer, and hanging stuff is kind of a nice, meditative way to spend a few minutes. Take some deep breaths of fresh air, reflect on your day, let go of some anxiety.

Does all of this sound too complicated? Written down it’s a lot, but let us take you through a load of laundry we just did.  For the record, it is currently one o'clock in the morning.  It’s 31 degrees outside.

1) Put clothes in washer.  Not sorted, just all the clothes in the hamper or off your floordrobe, dumped into the washing machine.

2) It’s cold out, so put a tablespoon of detergent into a cup of hot water and stir.  Pour in washer. Put white vinegar in Downy ball, toss in washer.

3) Push start button and go do something else.  Read, take a nap, cook, clean bathroom. Write a long-winded Tumblr post.  Whatever.

4) When load is done, hang everything on hangers/racks still wet.  This is the longest part, and it takes 5-7 minutes, max. You can do it while watching tv or listening to music.

5) Carry your hung up clothes outdoors to the clothesline and hang them up, or to whatever indoor location you have deemed fit if it is raining.

These will be dry in a few hours except for very heavy things like thing hoodies or jeans, those may take longer.  Yes, even if it’s cool outside.  As long as there is direct sunlight, they will dry.  When you’re ready, bring them in. All the clothes are already on hangers, so just stick them in your closet.

Once upon a time we had a lot of drama about laundry.  We had fights over whose turn it was, how much Tide to put in, and who was going to clean the lint trap.  When the dryer broke, I absolutely agonized over the three hundred dollars it would take to buy a new one.  That three hundred dollars meant going without cable for two months, it meant scrimping for groceries and paying a late fee on the phone bill.  It was more than an entire paycheck, just to dry clothes!

Today that same dryer is sitting in our laundry room in disuse.  We have it, for emergencies.  A drink spilled on a work shirt, perhaps, that needs to be worn in 30 minutes.  It’s good for fluffing up pillows, on the no-heat setting. It wasn’t worth the stress or the tears or the three hundred dollars we put into it all those years ago.  It’s basically a glorified shelf for our detergent now:

So today, I challenge you, broke person.  Don’t wear those grungy jeans for one more day.   Do a load of laundry, as frugally as you can.  Measure your detergent carefully, hang your clothes to dry.  Your clothes will last longer, your utility bill will be lower, and you will have a few minutes of peace and quiet outside.  It’s less wear and tear, less electricity, and less stress, and that’s a minimalist win.

If you do choose to dry your clothes in a dryer, beware of over-drying as that can cause static and extra wear and tear on your clothes.  Clean out your lint trap, it will make your clothes dry faster and reduce the risk of fire.  If you are too broke to have dryer sheets, wool dryer balls are pretty cheap and effective for fabric softening and reducing static.  We have also heard that you could use tennis balls or a couple balls of wadded up aluminum foil for this purpose.

Happy washing!

Some links: homemade detergent at TSD, and Mr. Electricity’s opinion on dryers.

[deleteddewewted]

Ok, this is my last request, I swear and scout's honor...I'm sorry for bothering you and being annoying, please forgive me!

Uhm...how about a fic or headcanons on Monoma with a female s/o who's short (as in, 4' 11"...I think our boy is 5' 7", but I could be wrong) and is a coffee-addict, and it gets to a point where Monoma's worried for her addiction and health, so he tries to keep it away from her for a few days, please? He can also like, tease her about it and play the height bully since she's a shrimp compared to him when she tries to get her coffee back?

Like last time, I don't mind if what you write is sfw or nsfw. I just need more blonde copycat boi in my life, lol! Thank you! 😊 I hope you have a good day/night/weekend!

I’M SO HAPPY YOU CAME BACK!!! Don’t ever feel like your annoying, i love hearing from you.

It took me a bit to make this, sorry about that. Hope you enjoy!

Caffeine Rush

Monoma x F! Reader

Note: H/c (your hair color)

W: Mentions of NSFW, Monoma Being Absolutely in Love With You

TW: Vomit, Addiction

Monoma’s favorite thing to do each morning is to wake up to your beautiful face. You always tell him that it isn’t but he gladly disagrees with you because you’re wrong. He would watch you sleep for a few minutes, hours if the day before was truly exhausting for you, and just sigh like the lovesick fool he was. That peace becoming disrupted when the alarm in his phone would go off indicating the beginning of the weekday.

“My love, wake up.” Monoma leaned down to shower you with kisses, even as you swatted him away with your hand. The attempts that were made to cover yourself with the blanket didn’t stop him from attacking you with hugs. Warm and inviting rest but quickly changing to panic as he lifted you from the bed and walked out to the common area blanket included. Your other classmates were already up doing their usual morning routines. They found your relationship with Monoma adorable, concerning but adorable. The way Monoma brags about you and your achievement was sickening.

“Nei! Put me down, please. I was comfortable and warm.” Monoma laughed at the whining and placed you down on the couch.

“No can do my love. You need fuel in that body of yours. A healthy meal makes a healthy body. A healthy body makes a healthy mind.” You rolled your eyes at your boyfriends’ poetic speech and made yourself comfortable on the couch, laying down and covering yourself again with the blanket he wrapped you in.

“What do want for breakfast, my love?”

“Give me coffee, no sugar. If there are any muffins, give me one please.” Monomas posture deflated a little to the request.

“Coffee, again?” He questioned. You nodded your head and drifted back to sleep. The rest of the class watched as Monoma begrudgingly made the coffee you requested. The entire time he was mumbling something under his breath, something about how you loved the tar drink more than him.

You thanked him once he handed over your drink while Monoma sat down next to you with his meal. He leaned into you and ate in peace. He kept grumbling from time to time and chewed violently when he took another bite.

“Monoma? What are you doing?” You asked him.

“Nothing.” Was his only response before continuing to shovel food into his mouth. Once finished, he took your empty cup and his plate to the sink to wash. You on the other hand had other plans.

“Neito, I’m going out. I’ll see you later.” Monoma said goodbye to you and let you go. He knew what you were planning on doing and he wasn’t happy about it. Honestly, it was ridiculous how much you seemed to depend on it. It was the weekend, so there was no harm in leaving campus.

You got dressed back in your dorm room and said your goodbyes to your classmates who were still in the common area. As you headed into the city you went straight to your favorite shop. It was a small business run by a college kid who had too much money and too much time to burn. You weren’t about to complain, the coffee was good and the environment was pleasant to be in. Once there you ordered your usual coffee variant and sat down to enjoy it, not being aware that you were being watched the entire time.

Monoma was fuming. Another cup of coffee right away? You just drank your first a few minutes ago, why would you need another one? It wasn’t like you didn’t work hard, that wasn’t the problem. You were dedicated to training and your relationship with him. He understands that he could be a hassle sometimes and he’s very grateful for the opportunity to be with you, but this was just ridiculous. He didn’t want to destroy your piece but it had to be done.

“Y/n, what are you doing?” You turned towards the voice and watched as your boyfriend walked up to you. He was marching, an interesting choice but he was him so it wasn’t out of character.

“Hi, Nei is there a problem? Also, why did you follow me?” You asked amused. Monoma didn’t bother to sit down once he was next to you instead, he opted to bend down to look at you. He wasn’t happy.

“I followed you to see if you were going to buy another cup of coffee. Do you want to guess what happened Y/n? Hmm?” You giggled at him and took a sip from your drink.

“I bought coffee.”

“Yes, you bought coffee!” The other customers in the shop turned to look at the scene Monoma was making and the sudden attention filled you with embarrassment. You didn’t think Monoma would make a huge deal out of something so meaningless.

“Nei, cut it out!” You whisper yelled at him. You tried pulling him down so he would sit, instead, Monoma grabbed your cup and your hand. He dragged you out of the shop and walk with you to the train station.

“Where are we going now?” Monoma didn’t bother to respond to you. He just stared ahead of him and kept your coffee cup away from you. Once the train arrived he practically picked you up and took you inside. It was a bit empty so he was able to find seats for the both of you, he wrapped an arm around you as he kept the cup in between his legs and out of your reach. He pulled you up once you got to the correct stop and took you to the entrance of the mall.

“Whats this Nei? A last-minute date?” You teased. Monomas face flushed and just ignored your stare.

“We haven’t gone on a date in some time-”

“We had one yesterday.”

“So I thought that this would be nice and I also get to spoil you, so don’t complain.” He took your hand and brought you inside.

It was bustling with life. People walking around looking for things that they need and buying others that they don’t. It was a pleasant scene yet your body would disagree with you. The throbbing that you felt in the front part of your skull wasn’t pleasant but it was constant. It’s been like this for a few weeks. You read that coffee could help with easing it, something about it probably the throbbing being due to some visual exposure. Monoma had taken your drink so that was no longer an option. Knowing him, he probably takes a small sip and then spits it out while berating you on how your taste buds must be dead if you didn’t react as he did.

“So where to?” You asked him. Monoma laced his hand with yours and walked you to a clothing store. He looked at different articles of clothing and asked for your input. Most of the things he picked out were simple in design or minimalist, nothing that needed consideration. Yet he asked and you being the ever caring girlfriend gave some input.

“This would look nice with um, with some light blue jeans” The throbbing in your head was beginning to get worse and it wasn’t helping that the bright light within the store was the only thing to look at. It was too much for you.

“Hey, Monoma. I need to go to the bathroom, ok?” You left Monoma in the middle of the store as he just watched you go. He spoke to you but you couldn’t hear him.

He had tried reaching for you but you were already too far for him to grab. Monoma. You called him by his last name instead of his first. In the times that you both have had arguments, you always called him by his first name no matter what the situation was. You’ve been acting odd for some time and it was worrying him. He was aware that you drank more than the recommended when it came to coffee, so it wasn’t surprising that you felt ill. Monoma was no stranger to bad habits, he was being too clingy and overly competitive. You reassured him that he wasn’t clingy and that you found it endearing more than anything. Regarding the competitiveness, he could tone it down a little bit when it came to arguing with the other hero course. He felt like he was annoying to you and that you only started dating him because you felt pity for him after he fell on his face as he was running up to you. His nose was bleeding but that didn’t stop you from kissing him on the lips and accepting his date offer. He loved you, he’s known this since his first year. Seeing you sick was upsetting, he felt like a lost boyfriend for not helping you. He tried, he hides the coffee grounds, he hides your wallet sometimes and even started having you sleep in his dorm to ensure you slept.

Monoma waited outside of the store for a moment, waiting to see if you would come back once you were done in the bathroom. You never came back which lead to him going towards the bathrooms. He was met with a line of women waiting for the bathroom and a few people waiting outside of the all gendered bathroom.

“Hello. I’m sorry to interrupt you but did you by any chance see a woman who looked ill come by here?” The person turned around to look at Monoma.

“Was it someone with h/o hair?” Monoma nodded his head and the stranger pointed at one of the bathrooms that were occupied. Monoma thanked them and knocked on the door gently.

”Y/n. It’s me, are you ok?” You tried answering but the sound of gagging and something liquid hitting the toilet was indicating that you wouldn’t answer him. Monoma quickly asked around to see who had a quirk that allowed him to help you. He found someone whose quirk allowed them to change their fingers into any key, interesting quirk, and he opened the bathroom door. When he closed it he saw you slumped over the toilet throwing up.

“Nei- I can’t- breath.” You hiccuped. Monoma pulled your hair back and rubbed your back in a soothing motion.

“It’s ok, I’m here.” You continued to throw up everything in your stomach. Almost everything that came up was liquid and smelled heavily of stomach acid with a touch of coffee. Monoma watched in horror as you emptied yourself. He felt useless. He couldn’t do anything other than making sure that your clothes stayed clean.

“Y/n, let me take you back to the dorms. You need to get checked by Recovery Girl.” You felt too dizzy to protest and just lifted your arms and had him carry you out.

On the train, Monoma draped his jacket over your head, hiding you away from any light that could worsen your headache. He kept you close, your head laying on top of his shoulder and his hand on the side of your head keeping you steady as the train rocked. Once off, he picked you up and carried you to Recovery Girl. She asked him a multitude of questions about what happened and asked him to step outside of the infirmary. She sent you to your dorm to rest with a bottle full of medicine and Monoma picked you up again to make the trip easier on you.

At your dorm, he laid you down on your bed and went down to the kitchen to get you a glass of water. You sat yourself up on your bed and took some of the liquid medicine. It was bitter yet sweet, it soothed your aching throat and helped ease your agitated stomach. When Monoma came back he crouched down in front of you, handing you the glass of water he had gotten for you.

“How do feel?” His face was showered with concern. This wasn’t uncommon for him when it came to you or any of his classmates. He didn’t like seeing you hurt nor sick, so this was overwhelming his heart a little bit.

“My throat burns a bit but I’m ok.” You smiled weakly. Monoma didn’t believe anything you were telling him but he also didn’t want to start an argument.

Monoma decided to pull you into bed and lay next to you. He covered your body with his arms around your waist as he tangled your legs with his own. He gave you a quick kiss on the lips, then placing his chin on the top of your head.

“Rest my love. You’ll feel better tomorrow.” You didn’t attempt to argue with him. Your head was hurting badly and your body was still tense from the vomiting you did earlier. You made yourself comfortable within Monomas chest and used him as an anchor. He was warm and welcoming, how couldn’t you take advantage of this.

The morning came and so did the sunlight that invaded your room. Monoma woke up ready to look at your beautiful face, a smile already forming as he imagined how you would look that morning. Ethereal as always he believes. Yet, when he opened his eyes you weren’t comfortably placed in his arms. You weren’t even in the room. He shot up from the bed and went rushing down to the common room.

“Y/n! What are you doing!?” Monoma watched you as you were seated on one of the tables. With a cup of steaming coffee. Again.

“My head hurts, the coffee helps it feel better.” Monomas eyes widened as he walked towards you.

“I understand, but couldn’t you have taken some pain medication or have at least told me?” He stood next to you and looked at how much coffee you still had left in your cup. It was at halfway. He made an executive decision and grabbed it from you.

“Neito, what are you?” You tried to reach for the cup but it was immediately raised above you.

“Nei, that isn’t funny. Give me back my coffee!” Monoma only grinds at you.

“No, it isn’t my fault you’re the shortest person in our year.” You used your quirk to try and inflict some damage onto him but to no avail. He just raised it higher.

“Nei! I swear you’re all legs and arms. How are you this tall!?” Monoma could only laugh at your silly attempts to reach for the cup. He leaned down enough for your faces to meet.

“I’ll give it back if you promise me something.”

“Sure, what is it?” Monomas grin softened around the edges. His eyes looking briefly at your lips and back to your eyes.

“For one, limit your coffee intake.” You frowned at him.

“Didn’t you just hear me? It helps with the headaches.”

“And for two,” He got closer to you. His mouth inches from your own. “For every time you minimize, ill give you whatever else you want.”

You cocked a brow up and returned the sly grin.

“Oh, like what exactly Neito Monoma?” He shivered at the mention of his full name. A tint becoming present on his cheeks.

“I don’t know, maybe kissing.” He leaned closer. Your lips touching but just by a little.

“Or maybe something more.” He added in. You decided to take the lead and closed the gap between the two of you. His lips were surprisingly soft, must be because of the religious chapstick use.

He became impatient and pushed his tongue into your mouth. He sighed into the kiss and pull you in closer by placing a hand on your lower back. You kissed back with fever and played with his tongue a bit. You made him moan, the hand holding the cup lowering to place it on the table. You quickly snatched it from him and backed away from the kiss you were sharing. A  wet popping sound made itself present once you parted from him, a light string of saliva attached to your once connected lips. Monoma looked confused, his eyes hazy from the euphoria of kissing you.

“What?” He asked confused. You just giggled and walked away with the cup of the now lukewarm coffee. Monoma quickly trailed behind you, hand reaching out to take the cup. You walked to the sink and dumped all of the coffee down the drain.

“I know I should stop. I know.” You turned towards him and place your hand on his cheek. You admired him for a moment. His face was still red and his chest was still expanding slowly trying to get more air in. You gently caressed his lips with your thumb and quickly gave him a peck on them.

“But I’ll only stop because you asked me to.” You kissed him deeply. Monoma wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you in place.

“I love you Nei.” Monomas face flushed deeper and he hid his face on the crook of your neck. He had to bend down to do so but it was worth it.

“I love you too Y/n.”

[fanficsandthings]

Through the Years, Ch. 7

A George Weasley Fanfiction

A George Weasley x Slytherin reader story.

Each chapter shares events in one year of George and reader’s life together.

Word Count: 6.1k

Author’s note: i know i’m like 3 months late on posting this chapter, but i promise i haven't abandoned this fic. 

Year 1, Year 2, Year 3, Year 4, Year 5, Year 6 

Year 6, Part 2:  Fireworks

 The heavy rain soaked through your clothes as you made your way into King’s Cross. It had been raining hard since early that morning, and the heavy gloom that hung over London was starting to take hold in your chest. The events of two weeks prior were impossible to purge from your mind, and on days like this the memories slowly crept their way forward. You swore that green skull could illuminate the sky again at any moment, so instead, you forced yourself to think about other things. 

You uncle and dad had been talking for weeks about an event happening at Hogwarts this year, but they wouldn’t give anything away. All you knew was that you needed a fancy dress, which you bought a week ago at a second hand store. It now sat in the bottom of your trunk, its intended use unknown to you for now. 

You no longer needed the motivation to run through the brick wall that separated platforms 9 and 10, like you did in your first year. You and your father casually waited by the wall, wringing the water from your clothes, as you watched the muggles pass by. When all was clear, you casually leaned against it, disappearing suddenly to anyone who might’ve cared to notice. 

The steam from the scarlet coloured engine filled the platform, the people rushing about looking more like ghosts than corporeal beings. You searched briefly for a family of redheads, but quickly gave up and turned your attention to the items you had brought with you. 

You checked quickly on Minnie, whose carrier was concealed under your rain jacket on top of your trunk. She was dry, just a little perturbed at all the movement happening on the trip here. 

“You packed the camcorder, right?” your father asked. “And the extra tapes?”

“Yes,” you told him, “they were the first things I packed.” 

“And you’re sure you know how to use it?”

“Yes, I’m pretty sure we went over it about 100 times.”

“I just don’t want you to get there and then not be able to capture anything,” he said, looking around at the people on the platform. He lowered his voice a bit to speak the next part. “It’s going to be a very fun year. I don’t want you to forget any of it.”

You let out an exasperated sigh. “Will you please stop being so secretive, and tell me what’s going on?”

“I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough,” he told you. 

You were about to protest and beg for more information when three more people came through the platform portal. Ron, Hermione, and Harry appeared before you, squinting through the steam. 

“Oh, look!” your dad cut you off, ignoring the annoyed look on your face. “Friends! Now, go get on the train with them. I might see you sooner than you think.”  

You said a very quick goodbye before turning to the three newcomers. They were still looking through the steam, trying to orientate themselves before heading to the train. You snuck up as quietly as your trunk would allow, thankful that the train engine was letting off some noise. 

“What’re you looking for?” you shouted, right in between Ron and Harry’s heads. It caused all three of them to jump; the owls in the cages they were holding hooted frantically as they got tossed around. 

“Please don’t do that,” Hermione voiced as she clutched her chest. 

“Sorry,” you said, smiling, “I couldn’t resist.” You turned your head to look at the brick wall briefly. “Where is..”

“Your boyfriend?” Ron butt in. He turned to Harry and made a fake gagging noise. Harry let out a laugh, amused at his friend’s actions. 

“Right behind you,” a familiar voice said. You turned to see Charlie, Fred, and George. George was smiling brightly at you. “We just passed your dad on the other side of the barrier.” 

“Charlie!” you exclaimed, giving him a quick hug. “I expected you to be back in Romania by now.”

“Do we even exist?” George whispered to Fred. 

“Apparently not when Charlie’s around,” Fred answered. 

You rolled your eyes as you turned to the twins. “I’m gonna see you two constantly for the next 10 months. I rarely see Charlie.” 

“I took extended time off,” Charlie said, answering your question, “because I’ll be working a little extra in a couple of months.” 

Ginny, Bill, and Mrs. Wealsey made their way through the wall behind the twins. 

“Hello,” Mrs. Weasley greeted upon seeing you. 

“Molly, it’s so good to see you. I was a little disappointed that I didn't get to see you at the Quidditch Cup,” you told her, giving her a hug. 

“Quidditch isn’t really my thing, dear,” she informed you. “But I might get to see you all again soon.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” you asked. 

“It’s nothing,” she said, pushing you back towards Fred and George. 

“We should get going,” you said to the twins. “We need to find Lee and seats” 

The twins said goodbye to their family, and you all headed off through the steam towards the train. You found Lee, who had already boarded and was saving a compartment for the three of you. You stuffed your trunks above the seats and put Millie’s carrier in the seat next to the door. 

It was a weird feeling, purposefully sitting so close to George on the train; him next to the window and your head leaning on his shoulder so you could watch the countryside pass by. Really, it’s not like much had changed from being just friends to dating. You had always sat close to each other before, even holding hands when the situation allowed for it. Something seemed to change over the last couple months, though, and now you felt more comfortable than ever resting your head against George. 

Maybe it was the fact that you could hold hands now without people whispering in the background and speculating about you. Or the fact that you could run your hands through his hair, which he had let grow a little longer over the summer, and not be worried about accidentally looking into his brown eyes and having to hide your embarrassment over the matter. You could freely count the freckles splattered across his face and name the constellations you made in them. Freckles that would always remind you of the falling snow on the night you first kissed. 

At some point, you let Minnie out of her carrier, letting her roam freely around the compartment, careful to make sure the door was securely closed. She eventually found a comfy stop on the seat between Fred and Lee. You watched as she curled up into a ball, her tail carefully covering her eyes, as if to block out any light. 

As the train rolled on and the rain outside got heavier, the windows fogged up, making it impossible to see outside. You turned your full attention to the conversation happening. Lee was talking about what he did over break, and brought up the Quidditch World Cup. 

Your eyes moved briefly to the window, thinking you might see the bright green light shining through the rain. George saw your movement and squeezed your hand in reassurance, a small smile on his face. You smiled back at him, telling him that you’d be alright. 

Lee mentioned that his father had been cheated out of money over a bet he made with Ludo Bagman at the Cup. 

“That dirty little cheat!” Fred yelled at the mention of Bagman’s name, causing Minnie to startle beside him. 

“He took our money, too,” George added on. “He paid us back in leprechaun gold.” 

“That’s exactly what he did to my dad,” Lee said. 

“You bet all the money you had saved, didn’t you?” you asked Fred and George. 

“Yeah,” Fred sighed. 

“We’ll have to find another way to open the shop now,” George said. 

“I still have some money saved up,” you told them. “About 20 Galleons when converted from muggle money. It’s not much but maybe we could find something to invest it in.”

“We couldn’t ask you to give us your money,” Fred said. 

“Yeah, I’m sure there’s other things you could use that money for, right? ” George inquired. 

“Not really,” you told them. “I’ve always planned to help you with Weasley Wizard Wheezes one way or another. Whether that be through money or inventing inventory.” 

“Oh,” George said rather quietly beside you. “Thank you.” 

You leaned up and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. “Anything for you, Georgie.” 

“And you know I’m always here to test out products,” Lee chimed in. 

“Oh, speaking of which,” you voiced, “did you finish those Canary Creams in the last two weeks?” 

“Not quite,” George told you. “There’s still some kinks to work out, but give us a few weeks and some of Snape’s potion supplies and we’ll get them done.” 

“But!” Fred said, pulling a small, wrapped treat out of his pocket. “We did nail down the yellow hair color.”

“Now we have all the house colors down,” George finished. 

“And I think we should take advantage of that,” you said with a grin. You grabbed the sweet from Fred’s hand. “This one’s yellow?” He nodded. “And you guys still have a beef against Cedric for winning the quidditch match last year?” 

“We should’ve gotten a rematch,” all three of them said in unison. 

“I know, I know,” you said, faking sympathy. 

The rest of the train ride was spent slipping sweets into other student’s train compartments and hiding in the hallway until you heard a couple screams. Cedric didn’t really seem to mind too much; being more embarrassed of the attention his friends were giving him because of it, opposed to being mad. You did manage to slip a pink one into Draco’s compartment, but one of his oversized bodyguards ended up eating it instead. 

You found Adrian Pucey, who was trying to rekindle your friendship a little bit. He had written to you over the summer a few times. You gave him a blue haired sweet just because you wanted to see if the color would look good on him. It really didn’t, as the Ravenclaw blue didn’t mix with his complexion very well. You made him promise to sit next to you at the welcome feast, and you’d reverse the effects then. 

Overall, you were very happy to be going back to Hogwarts where you’d be able to hang out with your friends again. 

-----------------

The term seemed to pass too quickly with all the Tournament excitement going on. You had been concerned for Harry ever since his name was pulled out of that blasted goblet, but ever since he won the first task, he seemed to be in a much better mood. 

You had snuck out of the castle the night before the first task with Fred and George to meet up with Charlie. He had excitedly shown you the dragons they had brought from Romania, their fiery breaths keeping you warm in the cool November air. You had never seen creatures like this upclose before, and they intrigued you enough to think for just a moment that maybe you wouldn’t mind working in Romania with Charlie. 

A month after that, you found Hogwarts covered in snow, the winter chill finally settling in the castle corridors. Fireplaces blazed in every room, warming you ever so slightly as you sat by them. The fireplace in your dorm room did little to help fight the cold of the Black Lake. Again, just like last year, you spent most of your nights in the Gryffindor common room, curled up next to George by their roaring fire. 

Minnie took to spending her nights in George’s room. She seemed to be making friends with Crookshanks, as you would sometimes find them cuddled together in the common room. 

At times you felt bad for the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students. Their carriage and ship didn’t seem like the warmest of homes. You’d look across the school grounds and see them covered in ice and snow, and it would send a shiver down your spine every time. 

Christmas Eve came, and the entire school was filled with excitement over the Yule Ball the next day. You were excited too, but there was one more thing you needed to do before that day came. 

You had told George to meet you in the Astronomy tower in his pajamas at 10pm on Christmas Eve, a surprise all planned out in your head. You had stolen the radio from the Slytherin common room for the night. It had taken you and Adrian over a week to figure out how to get muggle radio stations to play on it, but eventually you got past all the magical interference and were able to listen to muggle music for the first time in almost four months. It wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy The Weird Sisters, but sometimes you just missed the music your mum would listen to at home. 

You set up your camcorder in one corner of the tower by the stairs, getting as much of the room in frame as you could. With no one else in the room to film, it would be the best shot you could get with the camera. 

You met George at the base of the tower five minutes before 10, confusion etched on his face. 

“I see you wore the pajamas with a little lion embroidered on them,” you teased him, reaching for his hand. “My cute little Gryffindor.” 

He blushed at your words, but he took your hand nonetheless and let you lead him up the stairs. 

“You’re literally wearing the same ones but with a snake embroidered,” George said. 

“Hey, your mum made them, and I love them,” you told him. You squeezed his hand as you both laughed. 

Music from the radio played softly from the top of the tower, a song that neither of you had heard before. When you reached the top of the stairs, you paused briefly to press the record button on the camera. This caused a confused look to make its way onto George’s face, but you reassured him that nothing harmful was going to happen.  

You pulled him to the middle of the room, the chill from the winter night just barely reaching you. Pulling him close to you, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. George instinctively put his arms around your waste. You started to sway to the slow song coming from the radio.

“We haven’t been up here in a while,” George whispered. 

“Not since fourth year when we flew right into the middle of Professor Sinistra’s nighttime class,” you said, laughing. 

“Hey, we both expected her to have a midnight class that night,” George said, “not an 8pm class.” 

“I didn’t even mind the detention we got from it,” you told him. “I was just happy that I beat you in the race up here.” 

“I remember you cheating to beat me up here,” George said, wrinkling up his nose to tease you. “You and your old money Malfoy broom nearly knocked me into the castle wall.” 

“All’s fair in love and war, Georgie,” you said. “I was just using the speed that broom gives me to its full potential.” 

“If I didn’t love you so much, I’d still be mad about it.” He leaned down to kiss you on the forehead. “I still can’t believe you finally let me kiss you a year ago now.”

“You can thank Charlie for that actually. He gave me a little pep talk before I came outside that night.” You rested your head against his chest, listening to him hum along to the music. “Do you know this song?” 

“I’ve heard you play it before while you were at my house. I quite like it.” 

You pulled yourself as close to George as possible, trying to absorb his body heat. You hadn’t really thought about the open balcony and the winter weather when you planned this out. You leaned against him and swayed with the song, only really listening to his heartbeat through his chest. When the song was over and a more upbeat one came on, you pulled away just enough to look at his face. 

“Do you think Dumbledore really got The Weird Sisters to play tomorrow night,” you asked. 

“I hope so,” he said with a small laugh. “It’s all everyone’s been talking about the past few days.” 

“Speaking of the ball,” you started, “Did Fred ever ask that girl he likes to go with him?” 

“He asked Angelina a few days ago,” George told you. You wrinkled up your face in confusion. “What? They’re going as friends.” 

“But what about that Hufflepuff girl that he talks about constantly?” you asked. “I expected him to ask her, and I thought Lee and Angelina would go together.” 

“Lee’s going with a Ravenclaw fifth year, actually,” he informed you. “One of Cho Chang’s friends. Cedric actually set them up.” He seemed to have a hard time admitting that Cedric could do something nice for someone. George and Fred really held a grudge when it came to quidditch. 

“Cedric’s a good person, you know?” you said. “He wanted to have that rematch. But back to Fred; why is he being an idiot about his crush?”

“Because he is an idiot in general,” George said laughing. “He asked Angie just to prove to Ron that he had a date. He didn’t think it through.” 

You let out a sigh. “He’ll never learn.” 

The next song started with a familiar tune. “George, I think you’ll love this one!” 

You pulled away from him and grabbed his hand. There was no rhythm to your dancing, but it was fun nonetheless. George left all his worries behind and danced with you, not caring that you two definitely looked like idiots. He did really like the song that was playing, and he enjoyed it even more knowing that you loved it. 

You turned your camcorder off after that song, saving room on the tape for the next night too. You walked with George to the balcony, braving the cold to look over the snow covered grounds. Hogwarts really did look beautiful at this time of night. The moon reflected off the white snow and shone brightly over the Black Lake. The ship and the carriage looked like mere children’s toys from this far away. 

You rested your head against George’s shoulder as you both leaned against the railing. “Thank you, George.”

“For what?” he asked.

“For being my best friend, I guess,” you said. “It means a lot to me to have someone like you in my life.” 

“I’m glad I have you too,” He kissed the top of your head. 

You moved your head to kiss him properly, his body heat warming your face as you leaned in. The smell of potions clung to his skin, as he had been working on new products the entire last week. You caught the scent of a rather sweet one, and breathed in deeply. You pulled away reluctantly, but the cold was getting to you and you needed to head inside. 

George picked up the camera as you grabbed the radio, turning it off. You walked quietly down the stairs, hoping not to run into anyone at the bottom. He offered to walk you to your dorm, but you knew that Gryffindor tower was a lot closer than the dungeons, so you walked him there.

“Keep the camera for tomorrow,” you told him. “Record whatever mischief you get up to in the morning and then put it in the Great Hall.” 

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow night.” He leaned in for one more kiss. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

You hurried off down the hall as he climbed through the portrait hole. Sneaking down to the dungeons at this hour required a bit of stealth and luck, but you had done it enough to basically know the patrol schedules. You made it to the common room after only one near run in with a teacher, but you ducked behind a statue, just barely avoiding them. 

There were a few students left in the common room, so you casually put the radio back in its spot on the table. Hopefully no one had missed it too much. 

You made your way to your dorm room, opening the door quietly to not wake your roommates. The last embers of the fire were still burning in the fireplace, and they gave you just enough light to be able to see your way to your bed. The light from the moon didn’t reach this deep into the Black Lake when there was a layer of ice on top of it, so your windows remained pitch black. 

You laid in bed, pulling the quilt from last Christmas as close to you as you could. You breathed in the earthy smell and let out a content sigh. Sleep found you easily that night, and your mind raced with dreams of what tomorrow might be like. 

-----------------------------

The buzz and excitement in the air was contagious as everyone got ready before the ball. You had spent the morning in the common room with Adrian, trying to get him to tell you who he was going with, but he refused, saying that you’d find out in a few hours anyway. 

“Why won’t you just tell me?” you asked, leaning forward and narrowing your eyes at him. 

“Why does it matter so much?” he asked in return, ignoring the look you were giving him. 

“Because I want a picture of us and our dates,” you said, “and if I don’t know who your date is, then I can’t force them to take the picture.” 

“I promise you’ll get your picture,” he said. “I’m meeting up with him in front--”

You nearly sprang to your feet, but kept yourself in your chair when you saw the look of embarrassment on his face. 

“So it’s not the seventh year Ravenclaw girl that has a crush on you,” you said, putting your hands over your mouth to think a bit. “I really thought it was her.”

Adrian looked flustered, his cheeks turning red. “What? No, no, she doesn’t have a crush on me.”

“She does,” you told him bluntly. “She asked me if you had a date about two weeks ago. I told her yes, but seeing as you won’t tell me who, I couldn’t give her more information.” 

Adrian sank back into the couch, wishing this conversation would end. You looked at him, still thinking about who he could be going with. 

“The Beauxbatons boy who wouldn’t stop staring at you on their first night here?” you pondered, but he remained quiet. “The fifth year Hufflepuff who ran into you in the hall last month? He’s cute and rather shy. I remember him apologizing profusely. I noticed him ducking his head away from you when we’d pass him in the hall after that.” 

You watched him for a reaction that would give you a yes or no answer, but all you noticed was his face getting redder. Adrian never really talked about crushes and who he liked. This conversation about people who maybe liked him seemed to be a little much for him. 

“Alright, one more guess,” you said, “and then I promise I’ll drop it until tonight.” He looked at you out of the corner of his eye. You took it as a sign to go on. “It’s not one of your dorm mates, is it? They’re rather all kinda assholes.”  

You finally got a laugh out of him at that. “Absolutely not. I know them all way too well to ever want to go on a date with any of them.” 

“Good, just checking to make sure you were still sane,” you said, standing up. “I’ll see you in a bit. Meet back here before we head up?” Adrian gave a small nod as you headed towards your dorm. 

You got ready while the rest of your roommates chatted around you. The dress you had picked out just before the school year started hung from a hanger on your four poster bed. The purple fabric of it was accented nicely by some small gold details. You had added a little bit of magic to it over the past few months, making it more your own, rather than just a second hand find. 

You found Adrian a few hours later, sitting in the same spot you had left him; his casual clothes now swapped out for dress robes, and his hair neatly styled. 

“You look nice,” you told him, causing him to look up. 

“Thanks.” He stood up, scratching the back of his neck. He looked at you, taking in your dress. “You look great. Did you get the sparks to work?” 

“Yes!” you said excitedly, looking down at the gold details. “Technically not sparks, but you’ll see. Wait till George can see them too. Can you carry this?”

You handed him your disposable camera, and he quickly put it in his pocket. He held out his arm, and you easily linked yours in it. You headed out of the common room, ready to meet up with your dates.

Walking up the stairs from the dungeons, the first person you saw standing in front of the Great Hall was Ron in his interesting dress robes. He was staring angrily at two people as they walked into the hall. It took a second to realize the girl was Hermione, having never seen her with her hair done like that before. You recognized the boy as Viktor Krum when he turned to greet one of his friends as he walked past them. 

Viktor’s friend turned in your direction, and his face lit up with a smile as he saw you and Adrian. You turned to Adrian, who was smiling just as brightly back at the Durmstrang boy. 

“A Durmstrang boy?” you whispered to Adrian as you made your way over to him. The boy was tall, at least a few inches taller than Adrian, and his long dark hair hung to his shoulders. When he reached the two of you, he turned his attention to you and took your hand, kissing it softly. His green eyes looked into yours briefly. 

“Adrian has talked a lot about you,” the boy said, dropping your hand. He looked back over at Adrian, the softest expression on both of their faces.

“This is Georgi,” Adrian introduced you. You looked at him, trying to hide your expression of slight shock. 

This is exactly why he wouldn’t tell you the name of his date. He knew you would tease him about going to the ball with a boy who shared a name so similar to your boyfriend. In all honesty though, the two boys were almost nothing alike. Georgi seemed a little more subdued and quiet, opposed to George who, though quieter than his brother, was still too loud for his own good. 

While making polite conversation with Adrian and his date, you were also trying to find the twins in the crowd of people. You noticed them coming down the stairs with Lee and Angelina, Lee soon hurrying off to find his date. 

You nudged Adrian in the side and gestured towards the twins. “I’ll be right back.” He nodded at you, and you set off through the crowd. 

“George!” you called as you ran up and hugged him. He and Fred were wearing matching outfits, probably passed down from their uncles to them.  

“Hello.” George pulled you back from the hug, looking at you fully. “You’re beautiful.” 

You ignored his statement, trying to hide the heat rising on your face. “Come on, I want you to meet Adrian’s date.” You looked at Fred and Angelina. “You too. I want a picture.” You pulled George’s hand, leading the group back through the crowd. 

“You put the camcorder in the Great Hall, right?” you said over your shoulder. 

“Yeah,” George confirmed. “About an hour ago. You’ll just need to hit record.” 

Meeting up with Adrian again, you gestured to George, introducing him to the Durmstrang boy. “George, this is Georgi. Georgi, George. My boyfriend.” 

They stared at each other for half a second before Fred butted in. 

“Well, isn’t that fun,” he said with a grin. 

You just grinned at Adrian, a smug look on your face.

You introduced Fred and Angelina and chatted for a bit before pulling another student over, who you knew was muggleborn, to take a picture of the six of you. Adrian nudged you and pointed to your dress. You looked down at it before realizing what he was suggesting. 

“Oh,” you said, catching the attention of the group. “I almost forgot. I added a little magic to my dress. Adrian, do you mind doing the honors?”

He pointed his wand at your dress, and a translucent, almost invisible smoke came out of the end. Tendrils of smoke reached out, attaching themselves to the center of each little gold detail and then disappearing into the dress. Each gold detail began to shake, as if filled with an immense energy. Suddenly, the details exploded across the dress, mimicking fireworks to the best of their ability. After a moment, they settled into their original shape. 

The group was staring at you, transfixed on what had just happened. 

“I’ve never seen a spell like that before,” Georgi finally said, a look of wonder on his face. 

“That’s because Adrian and I invented it, just for this,” you told him. You smiled as you looked over at Adrian. “We’ve been working on spells and such all of term in our free time. So far we only got the radio to work, and now this. This one isn’t perfect though. The smoke isn’t supposed to be there; it’s supposed to just be an immediate effect.”

George could tell that you were rambling now. He could see that your ramblings were bringing your excitement over the fantastic job you did down into doubt about how it didn’t work exactly how you wanted it to. He reached out and grabbed your hand. 

“It was beautiful,” he said. He looked into your eyes, trying to bring your attention to only him, trying to calm you down. “You know I love fireworks. Maybe they could be a part of the uniform at our shop.”

You smiled at him, giving a small laugh. “That would be wonderful.”

You turned back to the group and noticed Angelina standing by herself, Fred nowhere in sight. “Where’s Fred gone off to?” 

“He said he needed to talk to someone,” Angelina said, pointing towards the stairs that led towards the kitchens. 

You turned, expecting to find Fred putting a firecracker in someone's robes, but instead found him trying to get the attention of the Hufflepuff girl. She was standing close to another Durmstrang boy, but looked rather uncomfortable at the whole situation. She kept trying to scoot closer to Cedric, but every time she did, the Durmstrang boy would scoot with her. Cedric said something to her before he took Cho by the hand and led her into the Hall. Fred called her name again, but she continued to ignore him, instead saying something to her date before they too walked to the Hall. 

“Why didn’t he just ask her?” Angelina asked beside you. “I would’ve been fine going with someone else.”

“Because he’s an idiot,” you said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You’re not wrong,” Angelina agreed. 

The entrance hall was getting emptier as everyone filed into the Great Hall. You took this as the cue to follow suit. You stood in the large crowd, pressing play on your camcorder as the school champions were ushered to the dance floor. The dancing started, and George almost immediately pulled you to the dance floor as more people joined in. 

The night went by quickly, but you would always be able to watch it back thanks to your camcorder, and look at pictures that you took. 

Your favorite picture by far was one of Adrian squished in a hug between the twins, their red hair and gold vests standing out extravagantly against his all black outfit. Adrian and the twins were still not the best of friends, but over the past few months they had all agreed to try to get along for your sake. The twins liked to show their progress through aggressive acts of friendliness. 

The videos were another story. They showed the night in motion and sound, something you were eternally thankful for. You could never give enough thanks to your dad for buying the camcorder for you. 

The video of the school champions dancing showed Hermione being the happiest you had ever seen her. It was quickly interrupted by you laughing as George pulled you onto the dance floor, followed by Fred grabbing Angelina to dance with him. It even caught a bit of McGonagall dancing with Dumbledore, a surprising sight, as you had thought you would never see either of them dancing in your life. 

You caught a video of Percy, zoomed way in on his grumpy face as he watched his ex-girlfriend dancing with someone else. Penelope looked happy with the boy she was dancing with though. You knew in a few years, hopefully, Percy would be able to laugh at his emotions too. 

You got Fred and George pulling Percy, Ron, and Harry out of their seats as The Weird Sisters started to play. Ginny joined their group to dance with her brothers; the three excited Weasleys trying their best to dance the grumpiness out of the others. You set the camera down on a table, facing the group and ran to grab Adrian and Georgi. Passing Angelina and Alicia on the way back, you told them to come with you too. Your large group now took up much of the dance floor, but no one seemed to mind as you all jumped around to the song the band was playing. 

The next video had the band playing a slower song in the background. The camera just sitting on a table, having been accidentally turned on by someone. It showed the Hufflepuff girl sitting at a table with Percy. They were talking, but the music drowned out any words that they were saying. Percy looked a little happier than he did earlier. Fred came into frame, sitting next to Percy, but putting his whole attention on the girl. She said a few short words to him, but when it was obvious she didn’t want to talk, he got up and walked towards the camera. He must have noticed it was on, because he mumbled a few words at it before the video cut off. 

There was a short video of you and Adrian walking outside in front of the castle, lights sparkling around you. George and Fred were a few paces ahead of you, talking about something you couldn’t hear. Georgi had offered to record for a bit, even though he wasn’t quite sure what he was doing. The video cut off abruptly when the camera was dropped. 

The last video on the camera was George recording you as you were leaving the Hall for the night. 

“How was your night,” he asked from behind the camera. 

“I had a great night,” you told him, walking backwards. You were holding up your dress so you didn’t trip. “Better than some people.”

The camera panned over to Fred, who flicked it off. He had a smile on his face, though, so you knew he still had a wonderful time. George moved the camera to catch Angelina in frame. 

“Did you still have a good time,” he asked her, “even though your date was kinda a drag?” 

“I had a wonderful time,” Angelina said as she put her arms around Alicia and Katie, who were walking beside her. “I still had my best friends to lift the mood.” 

“And what about you,” George turned so now he was walking backwards, camera pointed at Adrian and Georgi. They were walking hand in hand, Adrian’s head resting on Georgi’s shoulder. 

“It was alright,” Adrian said, smiling up at his date. Georgi squeezed Adrian’s hand. 

You had now reached the base of the stairs that led up to the Gryffindor common room. Everyone stopped walking to say their goodbyes. 

“One more thing,” you said to the camera. “I wanna get my spell on record.” You grabbed out your wand and pointed it at your dress, setting the fireworks in motion. 

“Beautiful, as always,” George hummed behind the camera. “I think this is where we part ways.” He took your hand in his. “Goodnight, love.”

“Goodnight.” 

The video stopped as you leaned in to kiss him. 

[tiesandtea]

Simon Gilbert

Simon Says

We interviewed Simon Gilbert, Suede’s drummer, whose book So Young: Suede 1991-1993 is a journal and photographic document of the band’s early years that will be published October 8th. So Young has foreword by journalist Stuart Maconie and a vibrant, lively text by Simon himself, documenting his move from Stratford-on-Avon, his hometown, to London, the audition with Suede, life in the van, the early success years and the many amusing things that come with it. It is one of those rare books that make an outsider feel like they were there, in the van. Or in absurd mansions in L.A. belonging to industry types. Or was it record producer(s)?…

The conversation extended to Coming Up, Suede’s third album that turned 25 this year and drumming. Simon’s witty, often, one-liners contrast with my more elaborate questions, proving an interesting insight into our way of writing/replying.

by Raquel Pinheiro

So Young: Suede 1991-1993

What made you want to realease So Young?

I was searching through my archives when researching for the insatiable ones movies and found lots of old negatives and my diaries. They had to be seen.

When and why did you start your Suede archives?

As you can see from the book, it stared from the very first audition day.

From the concept idea to publishing how long did it took you to put So Young together?

30 years … I’ve always wanted to make a book since I was first in a band.

What was your selection process for which items – diary entries, photos, etc.- would be part of the book?

I wanted to form a story visually with a few bits of info thrown in here and there, also most of the photos tie in with pages from the diaries.

Which methods, storage, preservation, maintenance, if at all, do you employ to keep the various materials in your archives in good shape?

Boxes in an attic … one thing about getting the book out is that I don’t have to worry about the photos getting lost forever. It’s out there in a book!

Other than medium what differences existed between selecting material for The Insatiable Ones documentary and for So Young?

Video and photos … photos don’t translate well on a TV screen.

Do you prefer still or motion pictures and why?

I prefer photos … they capture a particular moment in time … as video does, but there’s a unique atmosphere with a photo.

So Young’s cover photo has a very Caravaggio and ballet feeling to it. Its chiaroscuro also contrasts with the images inside.  Why did you choose it for the cover?

It was a striking shot and I wanted the book to be black and dark …it fitted perfectly.

How many of the photos on So Young were taken by you?

Probably about 3/4 my 3 school friends who were there with me at the beginning Iain, Kathy and Phillip took a load of us onstage, backstage, after  the gig, etc., photos I couldn’t take myself.

So Young can be placed alongside books like Henry Rollins’ Get in The Van and Michael Azerrad’s Our Band Could Be Your Life, that not only chronicle and show the less glamorous, more mundane side of being in a band, but also totally immerse the reader so deep in it that we are there, feeling and going through the same things. Was your selection of materials meant to convey that “band being your(our) life” sensation?

Yes, exactly that. I was fascinated by photos of bands, not on the front cover of a magazine or on TV. The other bits of being in a band are far more interesting.

In the foreword, Stuart Maconie mentions the brevity of your diary entries which, as someone who keeps diaries, I immediately noticed. Do you prefer to tell and record a story and events with images?

I haven’t kept a diary since the end of 1993 … looking back on them they can be a bit cringeful … So, yes, I prefer images.

Contrasting with the diary entries brevity your text  that accompanies So Young is lively, witty, detailed and a good description of the struggles of a coming of age, heading towards success, band. Do you think the text and images reveal too much into what it really is like being in a band, destroying the myth a bit?

I think the myth of being in a band is long gone … Reality is the new myth…

In So Young you write that when you first heard Never Mind The Bollocks by The Sex Pistols music was to be your “future dream”. How has the dream been so far?

Still dreaming … lose your dreams and you will lose your mind … like Jagger said.

Is there a reason why So Young only runs from 1991 to 1993?

Yes, I bought a video camera in 1993. It was so much easier filming everything rather than take a photo, wait 3 weeks to get it developed and find out it was blurred.

So Young has a limited deluxe numbered and signed edition already sold out. The non deluxe edition also seems to be heading the same way. How important is it for you to keep a close relationship with the fans?

So important. I love interacting with the fans and is so easy these days … I had to write replies by hand and post them out in 1993…

Playing Live Again & Coming Up

Before Suede’s concert at Qstock Festival in Oulu, Finland on 31.07.2021 you wrote on your social media “cant fucking wait dosnt come close!!!!!” and Mat [Osman, Suede’s bassist] on his “An honest-to-goodness rehearsal for an honest-to-goodness show. Finally”. How did it feel like going back to play live?

It was great. Heathrow was empty which was amazing. A bit strange to play for the first time after 2 years …., but great to get out again.

Coming Up was released 25 years ago. How does the record sound and seems to you now compared with by then?

I haven’t listened to it for a long time actually … love playing that album live … some great drumming.

Before the release of Coming Up fans and the press were wondering if Suede would be able to pull it off. What was your reaction when you first heard the new songs and realize the album was going in quite a different direction than Dog Man Star?

Far too long ago to remember.

Coming Up become a classic album. It even has its own Classical Albums documentary. Could you see the album becoming a classic by then?

I think so yes .. there was always something to me very special about that album.

Is it different to play Coming Up songs after Suede’s return? Is there a special approach to concerts in which a single album is played?

No … didn’t even need to listen to the songs before we first rehearsed … They’re lodged in my brain.

Which is your Coming Up era favourite song as a listener and which one do you prefer as a drummer?

The Chemistry Between Us.

Will the Coming Up shows consist only of the album or will B-sides be played as well?

Definitely some B-sides and some other stuff too.

Simon & Drumming

If you weren’t a drummer how would your version of “being the bloke singing at the front” be like?

Damned awful … I auditioned as a singer once, before I started drumming … It was awful!

In his book Stephen Morris says that all it takes to be a drummer is a flat surface and know how to count. Do you agree?

No.

Then, what makes a good drummer?

Being in the right band.

Topper Headon of the Clash is one of your role models. Who are the others?

He is, yes … fantastic drummer.

Charlie Watts is the other great …and Rat Scabies … superb.

She opens with drums so does Introducing the band. Your drumming gives the band a distinctive sound. How integral to Suede’s sound are the drums?

Well, what can I say … VERY!

Do you prefer songs that are driven by the drums or songs in which the drums are more in the background?

Bit of both actually … I love in your face stuff like She, Filmstar …, but ikewise, playing softer stuff is very satisfying too.

You’re not a songwriter. How much freedom and input do you have regarding drum parts?

If the songs needs it, I’ll change it.

Do you prefer blankets, towels or a pillow inside the bass drum?

Pillows.

Do you use gaffer tape when recording? If so, just on the snare drum or also on the toms? What about live?

Lots of the stuff … gaffer tape has been my friend both live and in the studio for 30 years.

What is the depth of your standard snare drum and why?

Just got a lovely 7-inch Bog wood snare from Repercussion Drums … sounds amazing. It is a 5000 year old Bog wood snare.

Standard, mallets, rods or brushes?

Standard. I hate mallets and rods are always breaking after one song. Brushes are the worst …no control.

How many drum kits have you owned? Of those, which is your favourite?

5 … my fave is my DW purple.

How long to you manage without playing? Do you play air drums?

7 years 2003 – 2010 … and never.

Can you still assemble and tune your drum kit?

Assemble, yes …tune no …have never been any good at that.

You dislike digital/electronic drum kits, but used one during the pandemic. Did you become more found of them?

Still hate them … unfortunately,  they are a necessary evil.

When you first joined Suede you replaced a drum machine. Would it be fair to say you didn’t mind taking its job?

Fuck him!

Brett [Anderson, Suede’s singer] as described the new album as “nasty, brutish and short”. How does that translates drums wise?

Very nasty brutish and short.

When researching for the interview I come across the statement below on a forum: “If you’re in a band and you’re thinking about how to go about this, get every player to come up with their own track list & have a listening party. I’ve done this, not only is it great fun, it’s also massively insightful when it comes to finding out what actually is going on inside the drummer’s head!”. What actually is going on inside the drummer’s head?

Where’s my fucking lighter!

And what is going on inside the drummer as a documentarist head? How does Simon, the drummer, differs from Simon, the keen observer of his own band, bandmates, fans, himself, etc.?

There is no difference … I’m Simon here there and everywhere…

What would the 16 years old Simon who come to London think of current Simon? What advice would you give to your younger self?

Don’t smoke so much you fool!

[lovemesomesurveys]

Whose birthday did you last celebrate, and what did you do for it? Mine on the 28th of July. I couldn’t do anything cause I’m bedridden in the hospital, but my family came to hang out. My mom is so cute she brought a few big birthday balloons and birthday hats for her and I haha. My brother brought a few balloons, too.  Do you use an alarm to wake up in the morning, or can you wake up naturally? I only use an alarm if I need to get up at a certain time for some reason, otherwise pfft let me sleep. 

Do you use an electric or manual toothbrush? What colour is it? I use an electric one, it’s blue and white.  Any idea how many mobile phones you've owned, in total? I’d guess like 7.  How long have you had the mobile phone that you currently use? Two years. 

Are your nails usually painted, or not? What colour did you paint them last? No. The last time was when I painted them black like 5 years ago. What brand is the shampoo/conditioner that you currently use? Dove.  How long was your last car journey, and where were you going? Like 10 minutes from my house to the hospital.  Have you recently been in any store where music was playing? Did you know/like the song(s)? No, I’ve been in the hospital since the end of May.  When did you last encounter someone who seemed rude or unpleasant? Hm. I don’t recall.  ^And what was it about their behaviour, that gave that impression? -- Do you use Goodreads? If so, what are some of the books on your 'Want To Read' list? No. Do you own anything that was from a vintage/antique shop? No. What was the last item that you 'fell in love with' and decided to buy? More graphic tees from Boxlunch.  What are your favourite kinds of accessories to wear with an outfit? I like bracelets and rings.  Has anyone ever bought you a gift with your name or initial on it? What was it? Yeah, like jewelry and souvenir type stuff.  What type of cuisine was served in the last restaurant you ate at? I think it was a diner, so like typical breakfast foods and stuff like chicken tenders, fries, and burgers.  ^Would you recommend that restaurant to others? Why or why not? Sure. I personally love diners.  What was the last type of dessert that you tried for the first time? Was it good? Hm. I don’t recall.  The last time you checked the mail, was there anything for you? All I get in the mail are bills unless I ordered something.  Do you own anything that has an image of a unicorn on it? No. Do you know anyone who is still in a relationship with their first love? Or are you lucky enough to be one of those people? Yeah, I know a few people who are.  What kind of music did you listen to as a child/teenager? Do you still enjoy any of that kind of music now? The popular stuff at the time in the 90s and 2000s. I do still listen to that stuff now.  Tell me a little about the last photo you liked/reacted to on social media. One of my cousin’s turned 11 today and she had a Stranger Things themed party, which I thought was awesome. I’m obsessed with that show right now.  What was the last activity that you tried out for fun, but decided it wasn't for you? Hmm. I don’t know.  Do you have any alcoholic drinks in your fridge at the moment? I don’t know, I haven’t been home for 3 months so I have no idea what’s in there.  What is something that you like to do, to wind down before going to sleep? Listen to ASMR.

[minghellafine]

Full interview below.

The first thing Max Minghella does when he joins our Zoom call is ask me about the weather. It wasn't just a conversational cliché though, he really wanted to know what it was like where I was. I tell him I'm in New York City, where spring can surprise you with a day that's colder or warmer than it looks. This particular day was chilly. "I'm always cold," he interjects, "I'm reptilian. My body finds a way to keep me cool." He shivered as he spoke, sitting in his sunny backyard in Los Angeles wearing a T-shirt. I checked the temperature right after our call. It was 80 degrees in L.A.

Despite any discomfort, Minghella is just really happy to be at home. Unlike the millions of people who spent 2020 in quarantine, he was working on season four of The Handmaid's Tale throughout the spring and summer."I'm sort of jealous of people who have this moment to pause and reflect," he says soberly. "Even with all of the trauma it's caused and all the things that obviously were detrimental, I know a lot of people who've had big life changes in the past year."

He acknowledged, however, that creating something in a time when everyone wished they could escape was ultimately a lucky thing. "There was a ubiquitous sense of gratitude," he adds.

Outside of the global pandemic, the dynamics on set had shifted — this season, his co-star Elisabeth Moss (or "Lizzie" as he affectionately calls her), was a director. "She was amazing on set," he explained. "Just very in control and it ran super smoothly. When I saw the episodes she directed, it just kind of blew me away. Her style — it's very cinematic and it really underlines the sci-fi elements of the show. It has a real kind of scope and confidence to it. I think she's a real filmmaker."

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Minghella's character Nick has an interesting arc this season too –  he's realizing his role as a senior member of the Gilead ruling class, but also still in love with June [Moss]. It's a complex character that challenges you as an audience member. He is the brooding love interest, and while you may root for him and June to be together, you also have to see him for what he is: an architect of a world that kidnaps women and uses them for childbearing.

What made the previous three seasons of the show even harder for viewers to digest was the fact that people so badly wanted to believe there could be a good guy defector — maybe even Nick — in a room full of bad guys. During those years, many people felt that the dystopian elements of the show were reflective of the nationalist agenda being put forth in the United States by the Trump Administration. So much so that a group of protesters famously wore Handmaid costumes to protest anti-abortion bills and Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation hearings. Without saying much about the parallels in the show — other than chalking them up to "pure coincidence," Minghella felt the Handmaid's Tale, whose protagonists are anti-Gilead, are "on the right side of history."  He added diplomatically, "Ultimately, I'm most proud because I think it's really great fiction."

I get the sense that the pursuit of "great fiction" is something that consumes Minghella. He's someone who appreciates art (he got his big break in 2006's Art School Confidential), and his parents are Anthony Minghella, the late award-winning director of The Talented Mr. Ripley, and actress Carolyn Choa. He loves details (see our earlier weather conversation). Even the way he talks about Los Angeles has a story-like quality. He tells me about how he knew when the city became his home after a feeling he got driving past the Silver Lake 7-Eleven. As he told it, I pictured it like a scene in an indie movie starring Zach Braff.

"I had this sort of pathological obsession with movies from birth. [My mother] worked for the British equivalent of the Motion Picture Association, so she would watch three films a day. By three or four years old, I was just kind of an obsessed movie person." It's his favorite movie, Beverly Hills Cop ("I think I saw 100 times by the time I was eight years old," he says) that inspired another big role he was working on during quarantine: Minghella stars as a detective opposite Chris Rock in the Saw franchise spin-off Spiral: From the Book of Saw.

"The movie was so serendipitous for me. I feel like I almost manifested it in my life," Minghella muses. "There's a line very early in the movie where we're investigating these crime scenes and we come to a grizzly one. My character looks nauseous. Chris's [character] says to me, 'Are you okay?' And my character says, 'Yeah. I mean I'd been dreaming about this since I was 12-years-old.' And that was a very kind of weird line because it's just true."

Now at 35 years old, Minghella is feeling settled. He is still a "film nerd" that gets giddy with each new opportunity, but he's less anxious about the results. Next thing on his list? Vacation.

"I'm hoping in May once the movie comes out I can run away somewhere."

Read on for his cheesy would-be campaign slogan, his fast-food weakness, and the time he escaped a tornado while working on a film with Blake Lively.

Who is your celebrity crush?

Mary Tyler Moore.

What's the last thing you do before you fall asleep?

I listen to 1950s radio shows. Usually Dragnet. I was researching a project in that period briefly and got sort of into the radio culture of that time. And now I find it incredibly soothing.

Favorite villain?

Hans Gruber.

Describe a memorable dream.

I had a recurring nightmare as a child in which my grandmother turned into a cat. So Tom Hooper's Cats was very traumatizing to me.

First album you ever owned?

My mother bought me the Top Gun soundtrack on audio cassette.

If you were required to spend $1,000 today, what would you buy and why?

I would do anything to help a distressed dog.

If you ran for office, what would your slogan be?

Some kind of tacky pun using my first name. "Take it to the Max," or maybe "Max on, Max off."

Name one place you've never been but have always wanted to go.

Easy. Japan. I went when I was one, but I don't think that counts.

What's the most uncomfortable outfit you've ever worn?

I did a film called Art School Confidential and I had to wear a beret and I found every moment of it truly humiliating. I remember being completely traumatized by it.

Describe your first kiss.

My first kiss was at a bus stop. I was 14 and I lied and told the girl that it wasn't my first kiss, but I think it was probably immediately evident that it was.

What's one dish you're always tempted to order if you see it on a menu?

There are so many things. That's the sad answer. French fries is the truth.

Favorite on-set memory?

I did a movie called Elvis and Anabelle with Blake Lively like 100 years ago and we shot in Texas. There was a tornado one night that forced us to evacuate the set and we had to sort of drive off in a hurry. I put on this song by The Knife called "Pass This On" in the car which is very dramatic and cinematic. The tornado was sort of in pursuit of the vehicle while we were speeding away. And it was just far enough that it wasn't life-threatening, but also a radical visual. That's one of my favorite life memories.

The Handmaid's Tale season 4 premieres on Hulu April 28, and Spiral: From the Book of Saw hits theaters on May 11.

Photographs by Emily Malan. Grooming by Sonia Lee for Exclusive Artists using La Mer. Polaroid Photos by Max Minghella. Special thanks to Polaroid. Production by Kelly Chiello.