#*doesn’t really sleep for 48+ hours straight* how could this have happened???????

[badolmen]

oops

[crissiebaby]

Double Diaper Dare: Chapter 13

DISCLAIMER: This story contains diaper usage, public humiliation, masturbation/diaper sex, WAM, hypermessing, hypnosis, diaper filling, slime transformation, and other ABDL themes. I hope you enjoy!

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*...TAP…TAP…TAP…*

Sinking down in her desk chair, Crissie could feel her anxiety growing with every tap from Codi’s drawing pen. It had been a little over two days since Codi had wandered into Crissie’s nursery via one of her wormholes, only to be rendered powerless and trapped within the same ‘create or regress’ situation that Crissie was in. Unlike Crissie, though, Codi’s interest in diapers and ageplay was far more passive, turning Crissie’s dream of forced diaper servitude into Codi’s nightmare. Efforts from Crissie to get Codi to relax and enjoy herself had fallen on deaf ears as the stoic dimension-hopper did little more than thump her pen against a blank screen for what felt like a straight 48 hours, pausing only to sleep, eat, and have her diaper begrudgingly changed.

Glancing at the pink gold key on her desk, Crissie contemplated teleporting herself away from the nursery for a bit in search of a more conducive writing environment. However, she decided against it, recognizing that nothing would get better for her and her new roommate by ditching. Standing up from her desk, she marched to the other side of the nursery and plopped herself down across from Codi. “H-Hey, wanna do something?” she asked hesitantly, “I-It doesn’t even have to be anything ABDL-related! We can just hang out and watch a movie or…something…” Her words trailed off as her confidence began to evaporate, thanks in large part to Codi’s unwavering tapping.

*...TAP…TAP-*

In a moment of frustration, Crissie reached over the knee-high floor desk and placed a heavy hand on the butt of Codi’s drawing pen, bringing an immediate stop to the senseless tapping. “Look, I get it. You don’t wanna be here and that’s fine. B-But can you please stop tapping your screen?” she pleaded, the anxiety of confrontation nearly causing her to cry. She slowly retracted her hand from Codi’s, locking her eyes on the floor, “I-I’m sorry.”

Letting the pen fall from her grasp, Codi leaned back against the wall and sighed. It had only been two days and she could already feel it in the back of her mind: the inability to focus on one thing for long periods of time, the desire for comfort and simplicity, the failure to accurately judge when her bladder was full. She wasn’t certain how this pocket-dimension nursery worked but it was clear that Master, and subsequently Crissie, were true to their words. If she didn’t produce artwork in the same way that Crissie produced stories, she would regress until there was nothing left in her conscious mind beyond the thoughts of a babbling baby. And worst of all was how euphoric the feeling of losing her maturity actually was.

In a fit of defiant rage, Codi picked up her drawing pad and chucked it across the room, forcing Crissie to duck out of the way to avoid being hit. The drawing pad crashed against the wooden wardrobe and shattered upon impact. However, as broken hardware landed on the floor, the tablet disappeared, only to reappear on Codi’s desk in perfect condition a second later.

Curling up into a ball, Codi shook her head solemnly. “How do you do it?” she said, trying and failing to avoid sounding choked up, “How do you block everything out and just keep writing? You’re a prisoner here…a prisoner who’s under the constant threat of losing every adult thought in your head. How do you find the motivation not to just…give up and let it happen?”

Crissie placed a hand on her chin and pondered Codi’s question. In all honesty, it was something she hadn’t really considered. Taking a moment to collect her words, she responded, “I suppose…it’s because I love it. It may sound weird but for the first time in my life, I think I’ve found something that I’m good at AND that I love doing. I know, it’s silly diaper smut, but so what? I write what inspires me and that inspiration is what wakes me up in the morning. And yeah, the idea of regression certainly is alluring for an AB like me, but not at the cost of my creativity. I hope that answers your question at least somewhat.”

Standing up from her cross-legged position, Crissie stretched and let out a big yawn, her mind and body exhausted after the amount of spoons it cost her to approach Codi in the first place. As much as she didn’t want to abandon her roomie after offering to hang out, she needed to rest if she had any intention to write later today. “Alright, well, I’m gonna go watch TubeTube videos in my crib until I pass out for a nap,” she said, unconsciously wiggling her diaper butt as she walked back to her crib and lifted the wooden bars, “My advice: find what inspires you too and don’t hold back. And regardless of if you choose to draw or turn your mind into mush, I’m glad you’re here. Makes the nursery a lot less lonely, that’s for sure. Nite, Codi.”

Watching as Crissie settled into bed and shuttered her crib bars closed, Codi pondered on what Crissie had told her. “Find what inspires me,” she muttered to herself, racking her brain and trying to come up with a simple answer for such an open-ended prompt. Prior to ending up in the pocket-dimension nursery, she found joy in drawing animals and other creatures as they existed in their habitats. Her ability to explore the far reaches of the cosmos gave her a point of view that seldom few had. How could she possibly recreate that feeling in such a contained environment?

Picking her drawing pen up from the table, Codi decided to put aside Crissie’s advice for now and just get something on paper to stave off the ever-encroaching mental regression. In a matter of minutes, she had a humanoid figure sketched up, uncertain of what defining features to give it. That was until she spotted Crissie’s trademark hair bow draped over the side of the crib. With a flick of her wrist, she added the bow and ponytail hairstyle to the head of her drawing, smiling at her decision to turn the plain figure on her screen into her first Crissie art piece.

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“Why am I obsessed with you?”

Codi’s words bounced around in Crissie’s head as she struggled to understand what point the sardonic slime girl was trying to make. “Wait…you’re obsessed with…what?!” she said, feeling as though she must’ve missed some important detail in her and Codi’s conversation.

Thankfully, Codi was present to lay all the cards on the table. “You heard me. Ever since my life was transplanted to your stupid nursery, I’ve…become obsessed with you,” she said, placing her fingers on the bridge of her nose and letting out a painfully long sigh, “It started slowly at first. Just a few simple drawings of you here and there. Before long, I found myself staring at you frequently for no reason and giggling at the same stupid, immature antics that I used to find annoying. And now…now, I can’t even stand shoulder to shoulder with you without feeling this…intense tightness…right here.” She clutched her chest where her heart would be if she had one.

“W-What are you trying to say?” asked Crissie, placing a hand on Codi’s arm only for Codi to rip away from her on impact.

Letting out an exasperated chuckle, Codi responded, “You see?! That’s what I’m talking about!! Just the smallest amount of physical contact is all it takes.” She inched back from Crissie in hopes of regaining her composure. “I feel like I’m going insane…like I can’t control my thoughts anymore! And at the center of those thoughts is you and I have no idea why! It’s because you did something, right? You and your stupid writing powers must’ve manipulated me somehow! Admit it!”

“No! No, I swear, I’d never do that! I made a promise to Master that I’d never write about someone who already exists ever again!” said Crissie, talking a mile a minute as she tried to convince Codi of her innocence. All of a sudden, a theory about Codi’s current state of mind began to materialize in her head. At first, she tried to convince herself that it couldn’t be true but the more she attempted to rationalize against it, the stronger the theory became. As awkward as it was to ask, she had to test if her hypothesis was correct, “So…I know this is gonna sound strange and I’m probably barking up the wrong tree but…have you ever felt…love before?”

A long, painful silence followed Crissie’s question as Codi’s eyes slowly grew as wide as dinner plates. “No…Nonononono! Th-that’s not…This isn’t…” she stuttered, realizing mid-sentence how unconvincing she sounded, “Look, I know what love is, okay?”

“I wasn’t asking if you know what love is, Codi. I’m sure the concept is pretty universal between intelligent species,” said Crissie pointedly, refusing to let Codi wiggle out of the subject, “I’m asking if you’ve ever FELT love. Because this ‘obsession’ you’re referring to sounds a lot like it.”

Averting her eyes from Crissie’s intense gaze, the tightness in Codi’s chest doubled almost instantly. She’d read about love before. Seen it acted out on screen and sung about in songs. But as for experiencing it for herself, she had nothing to base it on.

Codi came into existence in the endless vacuum of space, cold and alone. She formed herself over countless millennia, unaware of what the simple concept of ‘self’ was for the longest time. Over time, she became infatuated with humanity, wishing with all of her being that she could start everything over as a human and not some cold, bloodless slime. And then she met Crissie, and everything she thought she knew about the universe was turned on its head. Of course, she’d never felt love before. How could something as inhuman as she was ever understand a concept so inherently human?

Lunging away from Crissie, Codi frantically crawled through the tunnel as fast as she could as if it were possible to outrun her feelings. Unfortunately, she didn’t get far before she felt a familiar hand wrapping itself around her ankle. She reverted that part of her body into goo, causing it to slip from Crissie’s grasp. This measure proved only temporary, though, as Crissie leaped on top of her, tackling her to the ground. “Crissie, stop! Just let me go!” she cried as her body dissolved into a puddle of slime and easily escaped Crissie’s clutches, “I don’t know why I stayed for so long but neither of us needs to worry about that anymore. I-I’ll just go back to my life the way it was and you’ll go back to yours. I’m sure you’ll be happier without someone like me.” Believing this to be the end, she turned her back on Crissie, doing everything in her power to overcome the painful pings that suddenly replaced the tightness in her chest.

“You’re wrong!” shouted Crissie, causing Codi to freeze, “Yeah, it isn’t always easy to be around you. You can be a real meanie butt when you put your mind to it. But you also add so much…joy to my life that I never had when I was alone. You may not know what love feels like but I do…and I feel the same way, Codi.”

Locked in place, Codi could neither turn around to face Crissie nor could she continue to move forward. Glancing down the long, dimly lit tunnel toward what used to be her base of operations, none of it felt like home to her anymore. How could that be true when this used to be the only thing close to a home that she had for so much of her existence? It may have seemed foolish but her home had become a nursery with no doors or windows where she was forced to inhabit the same space as a chronically bratty Little.

Slowly approaching her paralyzed roommate, Crissie reached around Codi’s torso and brought her in for a big hug. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. Just know that I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere,” she said, resting her head against Codi’s shoulder.

As tears began to run down Codi’s perfectly manufactured cheeks, she felt something that gave her the sense of comfort she’d been looking for as long as she could remember but was unable to articulate into words. Letting her body go limp in Crissie’s arms, she cracked a soft smile as the feeling of warmth overtook her.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Edited by AllySmolShork

Special Thanks to Our CrissBaby Diaper Company Investors: BlossomBitchDolly BlushyBen DD Exminister Gun1242 JFN LittlePissy PrincessKittenLizzi Strawberry Sweetsamantharebecca & One Anonymous Investor

[coleszzzworld]

Yandere x reader (she/her pronouns for reader)

Apocalypse Au.

Tittle-“the end of the fucking world.”

Definition~”the complete final destruction of the world, as we know it.”

Author’s note! -(Feel free to skip this!:))-im back! , I have a few things to say , this series is inspired by the last of us , but not completely lol , the zombies in this AU is based off the infected (most of the zombies are runners ) there is no bloaters tho , those things are literally horrifying lmao💀. But there is also no firefly’s , just the government and quarantine zones and hunters , I love the games art work and how they made , the city’s seem so destroyed, so that’s what I’m kinda of going for in this AU ! , enjoy!:)-Phantom out;)!

TRIGGER WARNING!!!-violence , cussing , mentions of blood , kinda of yandere behavior- positively do not read if easily triggered!



“Bad things happen to the people you love and you find your self praying up to heaven above.”

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“If we want to be in the next town by tonight you, need to pick up the pace y/n” Leo says as he stops to wait for you to pick up the pace.

You breathe out , annoyed by him “If we want to be in the next town by tonight you, need to pick up the pace y/n” you mock him in a high pitch tone while you roll your eyes , “y/n! So help me go-“ Leo says before you cut him off .

“Yeah , No listen here military guy , just because your body knows how to keep moving even if it’s tired , doesn’t mean my body does! , I’m tired , hungry, and thirsty we’ve been walking for about two days with barely any breaks ! I’ve been up walking for 48 hours leo! I need sleep” you say as you get irritated at the lack of sleep and basic human needs .

You sigh , and turn your head away from him , You take a look around you something you haven’t done in days , taking in all the destroyed buildings from being neglected and nature covering them with vines and nature also doing the same for the abandoned cars you could tell this used to be a big city , the streets were jammed packed with whatever fleeing people left behind when the outbreak started “Leo.. where are we at?” You say as anxiety fills your body , ever since the world ended , you never went through major cites ever. You know that cites are taken over by infected or hunters , that and since the debris from the buildings or cars are blocking most of the pathways so theirs no escape. You’ve been so tired and thirsty you haven’t even noticed where you been walking to , you feel like your heart has dropped in your stomach. Your not even hungry or tired or thirsty anymore , all you can think about is how can you and Leo can escape if shit turns sideways . Suddenly you notice the broken billboards, and the lights strung around, and the over grown palm trees , suddenly it clicks .

“Leo please don’t tell me we are in Vegas…” you say feeling more scared by the moment , you look around your surroundings very fast , making sure theirs not threats coming towards you two , “y/n are you okay?” Leo says as he runs up to you grabbing your shoulder and looks at down at you with worry in his eyes . “Goddamn Leo! , how the hell did we ended up in Las Vegas !” You say as you whisper scream to him , fearing whatever is here could hear you if you screamed at him

“Um we walked here?” He says , as he shrugs , you glance at him , then give him a disappointing smile , “oh really! , I thought we flew here on my million dollar jet !” You say sarcastically , as you roll your eyes at him , “look I was so tired from you making me walk for almost two days straight I didn’t even notice, we were in the city till now , what if a big hoard of infected comes out one of these buildings to eat our faces off ! , or better yet what if a hunter robs us then kills us!” You say , as you panic. Leo grabs you hand and strokes it , it immediately brings you out of your panic state , you look at him , “y/n don’t worry , we are going to be okay! “ he says as he smiles at you , “h-how so?” You say , “ 5 days into the out break the military blew up cities to kill as much as infected as they can. Most infected were in major cities , because of the high population ” He turns you towards the buildings and tilts your chin up so all you can see is buildings leaning against each other , “that’s why most of these buildings are leaning against each other . I’m not saying they’ve been fully cleaned out , but theirs probably a few infected inside .” He explains , “it’s faster to go through the city then go to around it , andddd the reason we don’t take a break is , even if theirs a few of infected in their , I don’t want to risk it . I don’t want you to get hurt .” He says as he drags out the ‘and’ part , you get flustered mumble a quick “what ever “ as you walk off , hoping over the car to get back on track to getting out the city , he smiles to him self , then follows behind you .

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(This is a draft , I didn’t know if I should release it or not , but I wanted to post something! , but I should be posting more this summer!)-♦️🖤🐇

[survey--s]

506.

What happened last night? Not much at all really, lol. I’ve been watching loads of true crime shows on Netflix this week, so I mostly did that and messed about online.

Who is the last boy you hugged? Uh, Mike I would imagine.

What was the last thing you thought? All the animals are sleeping and it’s so peaceful in here.

What are you thinking about right now? I’m hungry but we’re having takeway for tea and it doesn’t open for another hour lol. I don’t want to eat anything as otherwise I won’t eat my tea but my stomach won’t stop grumbling lol.

Would you have sex with the last person you sent a message to? Nope.

Would you consider yourself spoiled? I was spoiled growing up, yeah - I was an only child and my parents both had good jobs - I certainly never went without.

What was the last text you sent? It was a few photos of Oakley on his walk to Ella (his owner). She always told me he wasn’t food motivated but I discovered that he LOVES gravy bones and will do absolutely anything I ask if I have one in my hand lol.

Do you break things when you are mad? Nope.

Whose hoodie did you last wear besides your own? Mike’s I imagine.

Did something happen today that made you angry? Nah, today has actually been really good.

What did you do today? Worked 8.30-2pm, came home, sorted the laundry, made the bed, had a shower, had a snack and now I’m watching TV and doing this.

What did you do Friday night? Today is Friday - we’ll be getting takeaway when Mike gets home but otherwise I have no plans really - just enjoying the fact that I don’t have work in the morning.

Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to? No.

Are you lying to yourself about something? Nope.

Is your bed comfortable? It’s fine - it could be improved but otherwise it’s perfectly okay.

Does it take a lot to make you happy? No.

Your best friend says to you now, “lets go to a party and get trashed!”? “Yeah....no” lol.

Who knows mainly all of your secrets? I don’t really have any secrets.

Can you go a day without thinking about the person that’s on your mind now? Well, we live together, so that wouldn’t be very easy lol.

What were you doing at 1 in the morning? Sleeping. I was so tired last night, I fell asleep around 10.30pm which is really not like me these days.

If someone looked ON your bed, what would they find? I just changed the sheets and made the bed a couple of hours ago, so there’s bedding, four pillows, two throw cushions and a stuffed bear on there.

Were you single over last summer? No.

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Sure, I think that’s a pretty common chat up line lol.

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? Yeah.

How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? I don’t really keep track of that kind of thing.

When you think of the rainbow, what pops in your head? Rain and sunshine.

Is the person you last texted single? No, she’s engaged to her fiancee.

Was last night terrible? It wasn’t great or terrible, really - just an average Thursday evening lol.

[stayathomesurveys]

021.

How many people have you had REALLY STRONG feelings for in the past 2 years?  Just my boyfriend.

Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around?  Yeah.

Are you angry with someone right now?  Nope.

Are you listening to music right now?  No. I’m watching The Secret Life of the American Teenager and desperately wishing that I could go to sleep and wake up in 2009 :( Simpler times.

Was your last text message from a girl or boy?  Girl.

Is there someone you used to talk to every single day that you don't talk to anymore?  Yup.

Are you easy to get along with?  Yeah, I think so.

Is your hair up?  No.

Is your phone right beside you?  Next to me.

What do the majority of people in your life call you?  My name.

Who did you last shoot a dirty look at? My boyfirned probably?

Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?  It depends on my mood.

Do you believe in ghosts? Yeah.

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?  Yeah.

Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? I don’t think so.

What's the one thing on your mind now?  Everything that I want to do.

Are you stubborn?  Yes.

Do you tend to have a lot of drama in your life? No.

Do you cry a lot or hardly ever? It varies.

Anything more important you should be doing right now? Nope.

If you needed to talk to someone, who do you have to turn to? My boyfriend, I guess.

Do you wake up cranky? Sometimes.

What was the last thing you drank?  Zero cal coke.

How do you feel?  Bored.

Are you easily scared by horror movies?  Meh. Kind of, but it depends.

Do you wish someone would turn up at your front door?  No.

Do you find guys with facial piercings attractive?  Nope.

Are you wearing make-up?  No.

Are your boobs real?  Yeah.

Are you a good speller?  Yes.

Is your cell phone all scratched up?  The case is.

Could you go a month without cursing?  Maybe if I really, really tried.

Have you ever been called prince/princess?  Yeah.

Last time you were called beautiful?  Today.

Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs?  Absolutely not.

Do you care if people hate you for no reason?  Unfortunately.

Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?  Yeah.

Have you ever walked away from someone who was yelling at you?  Yeah.

Is there a member of the opposite sex that makes you mad a lot?  I guess.

Anything good happen tomorrow? I might go out for Thai food tomorrow night, but that’s about it.

What is your favorite color(s)?  Pink and blue.

Don't you love long hugs? Yeah..

Did you think braces were cool when you were little?  Yes, lmao.

Do you have to wake up early tomorrow?  Nope :)

Would you ever consider piercing your lip? No.

Do you smoke weed regularly? No.

Would your parents be mad if you were in a relationship? No, lol. 

Is there anyone who doesn't like you because of something you didn't even do? Maybe.

Is there anyone you would do anything for? Yeah.

Who was the last person you talked to for more than 10 mins on the phone? My boyfriend.

What is your favorite song?  I don’t really have one.

Do you like Red Bull?  NO.

How many people can you tell just about everything to?  I don’t know. I don’t really have anyone.

[airplanned]

Trill AU Part 5

Such Drama!

***

Part 1

When the hail cut off, they both scrambled at their consoles, Zelda probably trying to get the deflector dish working, Link throwing together a couple of fail safes in case things went very--

They both turned at the sound of a transporter behind them, and Link stood, straightening his jacket and straightening his spine.  The three intruders who materialized on the bridge had absurdly large pulse cannons.  There was no way they needed those to incapacitate Link, Zelda, and a ship full of sleeping people.  They just wanted to look intimidating and ended up looking ridiculous.

"Welcome aboard," Link said.  "I'm Lt Link.  This is Lt Zelda.  My apologies that we're not proper hosts at the moment."

They punched Link in the face.

Zelda squeaked and grabbed him as he stumbled, keeping him on his feet.

He blinked to clear the stars that danced in his eyes.  The punch had loosened his sinus infection, and his first foolish thought was that Zelda was going to see his snot.

The Trill who was clearly their leader smirked at him, hefting his pulse cannon across his shoulder.  "I'm Admiral Kohga, and I'm claiming this salvage operation."

Link wasn't going to argue that their ship, which still had power and a crew of six hundred people could in no way be defined as a salvage operation.

He cut his eyes to Zelda over his shoulder, who gave a fractional shake to her head.  She hadn't heard of this guy either.

"Perhaps we can reach an agreement," Link said.

Kohga slung his pulse cannon down into Link's face.  "Perhaps I can kill you and take your warp core anyway."

Link held up his hands, swallowing down the fear that prickled the back of his throat, fighting with his tongue to keep the words coming.  "If you want the warp core, you can take it.  Just take it and leave."  They could get another.  They weren't too far out.  A rescue ship could be there in 48 hours, maybe even sooner.

Zelda's fingers bit into his arm, and he shot her another look to see her begging with her eyes, her teeth sunk deep in her lip.  She'd done extensive modifications to their warp core.  It was a prototype and maybe one of the most advanced models in the fleet.  He tried to convince her with just a widening of his eyes that they could get another, she’d only be set back a month, but her fingers bit harder into his arm to tell him that wasn't good enough.  

Did she not want to lose her life's work, or did she not want these people to have it?

It didn't matter.

In a rush, he said, "Computer lock: authorization Fi Alpha 284," and managed to get it all out before he was punched in the face again.

"What did you do!?  Unlock the computer!"

Link rubbed his jaw and glared at them.  "Get off my ship."

With a growl, a pulse cannon was aimed so close to his face that he had to lean back.  "Unlock it or I kill you," Kohga said.

"You kill me and you'll never get access."

The intruder narrowed his eyes.  Then he aimed his weapon at Zelda.  "Unlock it or I kill her.  Aren't Federation types like you supposed to do anything to protect each other?  You're a joined Trill.  You're not going to let me kill a symbiont, are you?"  He dropped the weapon from Zelda's face to her stomach.

Link swallowed.  "That's right.  I'm not going to let you hurt her.  Which is why the computer needs her authorization too."

"What?  You're lying."

Link jerked his head towards his console, inviting them to look.  Kohga glared at him and then jerked his head at the console too, ordering his lackey on the right to go check it out.

"He's right."

Kohga swore, turning away and stamping his feet.  Again and again.

Zelda's hand stroked his arm.  A sign of thanks.  An unconscious gesture of support from another lifetime.

When Kohga calmed down, he sighed dramatically and turned to give Link a suspicious look.  He pointed a finger, bobbing it as he thought.  "Authorization Fi.  Your name is Fi."

Welp.  He tried.

"I've heard of you."  Kohga took a step closer.  "Ha!"  He turned to his lackey.  "You know what this guy did?"  He wiggled his fingers.  "The taboo.  Reassociation!" He sounded almost giddy.  "This guy married another bonded Trill, and then what does his next host do?  Goes straight back and marries them again!"

"We didn't get married again," Link corrected.  Ravio didn't think it was necessary as they were still married in his heart (that sap).  Tetra liked saying they were living in sin.  Which was admittedly pretty funny, considering.

"This guy gives up everything and gets banished by the Symbiosis Commission, and then what happens?  They break up!  It's too funny."

Link shrugged.  It wasn't that funny. 

Kohga gestured around the bridge.  "Do they know?  Does she know?"

Zelda pulled her hands away, stepping back as if she was too shocked and disgusted to be near him.  As if she wasn't banished the same day he was.

Kohga gave her a sympathetic look so fake Link wondered how he thought anyone would buy it.  "Can you believe that?" he cooed.  "He sentenced his own symbiont to death.  He spit on our traditions. Everything we stand for!  Those traditions are there for a reason, you know.  Symbionts should live many different lives!  Not the same one over and over!  They shouldn't lock the host into a life they didn't choose.  That's cruel.  And then there's the memory seep. Doing the same things they’ve done in other lives over and over.  It messes up a host's brain until they don't know which host they are, what planet they're on, what day it is!  And then the symbiont takes over and the host doesn't even matter anymore. Just the symbiont. The whole power balance is disrupted!  You really want to throw your lot in with this guy?"

"I..."  

"If you unlock the computer, I'll take him off your hands for you."

She swallowed looking very small and fragile.  In a shaking voice, she said, "I can't let you have my warp core."

She was such a pro.

"Arrrrgggggh!"  Kohga clawed at his hair.  Then huffed a breath and turned back to Link in confusion.  "How do you get new hosts without going through the Symbiosis Committee?"

"Why? Do you want to join up?  You probably should.  I doubt they'll like it when they hear about your life of crime."

Kohga waved that away as if it didn't concern him in the least, which meant he either had no idea of the consequences that would rain down on him in his next life or he was putting on a show.  "You know...we're both outlaws," Kohga said, wheedling at him.  "Why don't you help me out?  Give me the warp core?  I'll split it with you.  50/50."

Link stared at him.  "No.  You see this is my ship.  And I don't feel like sharing."

Kohga's face wrinkled up in rage.  "Take them," he ordered.  "We'll just go rip the damn thing out!"

And with that, the intruders grabbed them by the arms, shoved them into the turbolift at gunpoint and dragged them down to the engine room, where they were pushed to the floor and watched by one of the lackeys while Kohga and the other Trill tried to override Link's lockout and did a lot of swearing and banging their fists against the console.

Zelda flinched with every bang.

He tapped all his fingertips against the floor.  What have you got?  Or in this case, Are you okay?

She took a deep breath, eyes on the fools messing with her engine.  She nodded, but made it look like she was rocking to soothe herself.

He fluttered his fingers in a soft wave--I’ve got nothing.

She responded by tapping the side of her hand against the floor as if neatening cards.  Two face cards. They could make something work if they played it right.  She had a plan.

What that plan was, she couldn't say in front of their guard, and instead demanded, "How the hell are you in Starfleet if you were banished?"

The corner of his mouth quirked into a smile, because that sounded a little bit like she was interested in his life.  "I'm an Orion citizen."

"What."

"There's a large Trill ex-pat community there.  I was born in part of the capital city called Terry Town that's 90% Trill.  We even had a bluefish deli and a Klonek festival."

She nodded.  "One time I visited Little Trill on Axanar."  

Anaxar. She'd made her way to Axanar.  He could see here there with all those evergreen trees stretching up to touch the sky.  He was strangely relieved that she'd found safe harbor.  

"They had the worst ralband pie I've ever tasted,” she said.

Link grinned and shook his head.  "I won't hear a word against my mother's abomination of a spice bread recipe."

Zelda snorted, something that might count as genuine humor.

"It was my favorite food growing up," he said.  "And then I was joined and learned what it tastes like if you have ingredients actually grown on Trill."

"And not freeze dried into submission."

"Or replicated.  The tang never has the right bite."

She caught his eye, and for a moment they just stared at each other.

She tapped the side of her hand again.  She had a plan.

Part 6

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics with everyone’s favorite trope - sharing a bed! We hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Just Like Live Wires | Explicit | 5427 words

Harry climbs into Louis' bed when he's cold. Louis pines.

2) Been Gone Way Too Long | Explicit | 8836 words

“This can’t be happening,” Louis says, banging his hand against the window. “This seriously can’t be happening right now.”

Things like this only happen in the movies. Things like this don’t happen in real life. There’s no way that he’s seriously been snowed in. There’s no way that the heating is broken. There’s no way that it’s going to take upwards of twenty-four hours and probably a lot longer for the storm to break and someone to come and rescue them.

“Just sit down, Louis,” Harry sighs from somewhere behind him. He sounds miserable, like he’s already feeling the cold.

Louis whirls around and points a finger at him. “Did you plan this?” he demands a little hysterically. He regrets the question as soon as it’s out of his mouth, but he thinks he’s got a valid point. It’s not like this storm just came out of nowhere - it has to have been on the news for a couple of days, at least. Plenty of time for Harry to have canceled this excursion.

3) I'm Trying Not To Make A Sound | Explicit | 10452 words

Louis thinks he could die right there. He can’t feel anything but the tingling sensation all over his skin. He’s throwing away all his past thoughts on trying to be straight and denying his reactions towards other men, he just wants more of this numbing feeling. Everything else is a long lost memory, can’t think of anything else besides, wow, this feels incredible.

4) Enjoy The Ride | Not Rated | 11103 words

The one where Louis, an omega more than tired of being treated as lesser than alphas, is forced on a road trip by his beta besties only to meet Harry who might just be the alpha he never knew he wanted.

5) Cuffed | Not Rated | 15254 words

What would you do if you were handcuffed to your enemy for 48 hours?

6) Up For It | Explicit | 18223 words

The one where Liam is Mr Organised, Zayn is too perceptive for his own good, Niall is a compulsive matchmaker, and Harry and Louis might just have the surprise to shock them all.

7) Holiday Greetings (And Gay Happy Meetings) | Not Rated | 18417 words | Sequel

Note: This fic has no smut, but it has omega Louis. The sequel has smut.

The one where Niall's dead car and and a foot of snow conspire to force Louis into spending time with an alpha he hates.... or does he?

8) The Aurora Zone | Explicit | 19633 words

The one where Harry is busy crossing off his bucket list while Louis is busy falling for the guy he's supposed to hate.

9) I Wanna Be More Than Friends | Not Rated | 20721 words

The one where Harry’s an alpha with no sense of smell, Louis’ an omega who isn’t allowed to scent his best friend, and that’s all they’ll ever be. Obviously.

10) Etched In Salt (Is A Cathedral Of The World) | Explicit | 24417 words

Note: This fic has BH mentions. It is also locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Louis asks for very few things in life, and they are: to solve cases, to keep bad people from doing their bad things, to get good coffee, to go home to a spacious apartment with nobody else in it, and to manage his stupid telempathy powers with minimal interference. And now he's stuck in a tiny cabin in a snowstorm in the middle of god-awful-nowhere with Harry Styles. Because of course he is.

11) Like A Siren In The Night | Explicit | 25868 words

“There is an infestation in my home,” Louis hisses, righting himself quickly and pushing his way past Harry, heading directly for the kitchen. He’s rather haphazardly dressed himself, a coat thrown on over a loose flannel shirt and black pants, slippers on his feet.

Harry resists the urge to sigh, closing the door and trailing behind him slowly. “What kind of infestation?”

For all he knows, Louis is going to claim that there’s a ghost infestation. Harry has no idea what the end game is here – all he knows is that Louis has found at least three complaints a week to bring up since he’s been living on Harry’s property, and he’s been living here for six months.

It’s way too many fucking complaints, is what Harry is saying. Especially when most of them are ridiculous to start with.

12) Always Come Back To You | Explicit | 28682 words

“I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”

Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes, especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.

Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them hilarious when Harry tells her one.

Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.

Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something. Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.

“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.”

13) We’re Not Who We Used To Be | Explicit | 30611 words

“Harry…” Louis’ voice catches in his throat, thick with tears threatening to fall out, so he coughs to clear it before trying again. “Harry is Liam’s best man?” “You didn’t know?” Harry is standing at the entrance of the garage, mouth slightly open and face pulled together. He sets his bag on the ground and puts his hands on his hips. When he does that, he looks just like the Harry that Louis remembers (and loves, he thinks with an aching heart). “I’m sure I mentioned it,” Liam says, but Louis can tell he’s lying by the way he chews on his lower lip and twists his fingers together. “You’re all a bunch of dick heads, I’m getting in the car.” Louis isn’t sure if he’s being unreasonable. He has no idea what the protocol is when your ex-boyfriend shows up after three years and nobody bothered to give you a heads up. He’s pretty sure he’s allowed to be upset about it, even if it’s only for a bit.

14) Blind From This Sweet, Sweet Craving | Explicit | 31170 words

"So, I guess we'll go?" Louis asks later, when Harry has calmed down and eaten his weight in Chinese food. He plays with this chopsticks, spearing another piece of chicken and pops it in his mouth. "I mean, I wouldn't mind. We could make it an adventure."

Harry observes him, watches him seated across from him on their old living room carpet, with a container of food on his lap. He's fidgeting, avoiding meeting Harry's gaze–he probably knows that Harry's mad at him for ruining the one chance they had to get out of this situation. And he's not wrong, Harry is definitely very mad. Harry wants to strangle him and castrate him and smack him upside the head.

But he's also Harry's best friend, and despite everything, despite all the fuck-ups and the plot twists and everything just not playing out the way it should, he'd still rather be stuck in this situation with Louis than any of the other boys. He's got Harry's back, and in a weird, abstract way, he knows they'll be able to get out of this situation, together.

Harry sighs. "We're going," he says resignedly, his shoulders slumping.

Oh well. There are definitely worse ways to spend the weekend than pretending to be engaged to his best friend.

15) Welcome Back From The Friend Zone | Mature | 32584 words

The one where an idea to create a fake wedding with the sole intent to receive gifts from billionaires took a turn no one, but also everyone, saw coming.

16) Let Me Feel Your Heartbeat | Explicit | 34572 words

Harry is 98% sure Louis hates him. So he feels like his bewilderment is justified when the omega offers to help him through his rut.

17) Close To Nowhere | Explicit | 34589 words

Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.

18) Playing To Win | Explicit | 36732 words

Big Brother UK alumni Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are selected for the UK vs Australia All Stars series with a massive one million dollar prize in the offing. They’re both fit and smart and would make a great alliance... if only they can stop their feelings from getting in the way.

19) If I Stay | Mature | 37226 words

Harry and Louis agree to a temporary arrangement that Harry can't seem to walk away from no matter how many times he tries.

20) The Space Between | Explicit | 39917 words

Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why.

Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

21) Strangers In Love | Explicit | 42207 words

Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

22) Tangled Up In You | Explicit | 45152 words

Harry blinks once. And blinks again. And says, his voice dangerous: “Niall, did you get me a mail-order bride?”

Because what the actual fuck. It kind of looks like Niall’s just purchased a person. For Harry.

Niall blinks back at him for a few moments, before throwing his head back and howling with laughter. Harry throws a pillow at him. Hard. “No, what the fuck, Harry.”

“A prostitute then?” Harry also doesn't want a prostitute.

“Of course not!”

“A stripper?”

“No!”

Damn, he’s running out of ideas. He settles for launching another pillow at Niall’s head. Niall bats it away easily, still laughing. “Stop!”

“What did you get me, then?!” Niall must hear the tinge of hysteria in his voice, because he’s pulling himself together, trying to stop himself from laughing.

There’s still a big grin on his face, though, when he says, “I got you a professional cuddler.”

A professional…what. “What?”

23) No Going Back | Explicit | 56102 words

Sales reps Harry and Louis are bored with their jobs and their lives. After meeting at a conference in Cardiff they hook up, have a few too many drinks, and jokingly apply to become remote lighthouse keepers. Six months, just the two of them, looking after the southernmost lighthouse off the bottom of Australia. It’s not like their applications will be accepted. Right?

This is the story of how one choice - a left instead of a right, a go instead of a stop, a yes instead of a no - can change the future forever and that sometimes, taking that leap of faith, is worth the risk.

24) Waiting For The Tides To Meet | Explicit | 59873 words

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

25) Swallow The Knife | Explicit | 76158 words

“You came,” Louis says, still breathless, clinging to Harry, uncaring that his sweat is getting all over Harry’s presumably clean dad shirt, or that he’s making Harry hold up all of his weight.

“Of course I came,” Harry says. He shifts, one arm curled underneath Louis’ arse, the other spreading wide in the middle of Louis’ back. “If I ignored you every time you pissed me off we would have stopped being friends a long time ago.”

Louis already knows that, of course. It doesn’t do anything to stop the pleased squirm in his belly every time Harry proves it, though. They fight like nobody’s business, both of them too stubborn to pull their punches when they’re arguing, and it used to get them in trouble, but they always make up.

Adrenaline makes Louis loose-lipped, and they both know it. He tightens his arms around Harry’s neck, buries his face in his hair. “I missed you,” he confesses, quiet. “Doesn’t feel the same up there by myself.”

26) Waiting On You | Explicit | 76584 words

“Vampires,” Louis says with disgust, glaring over at the vampire who is noisily slurping from the woman’s neck nearby.

Zayn gives the neat fang marks on Louis’ neck a meaningful look.

“Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Louis finishes, ignoring Zayn when he rolls his eyes.

Louis takes a long sip of his milkshake, presses his fingers against the marks on his neck, and definitely doesn’t think about the vampire who left them there.

27) Perfect Storm | Explicit | 80230 words

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

28) Nothing Worsens, Nothing Grows | Mature | 102528 words

Another roadtrip AU featuring Harry as the misunderstood hipster, Louis as the bitter psych major, Liam as the one with the secret boyfriend, and Niall as the one who just wants everyone to be happy.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[morganaspendragonss]

For the bad things happen bingo: Suicide attempt and 911 lone star? :o

@badthingshappenbingo prompt: suicide attempt - so sorry that this took so long, anon! hopefully you see this, and i hope you like it! 

also written for two anons who requested 48 -  “Hey! Hey, wake up! How many of these did you take, huh? No, no, don’t go back to sleep, you need to stay awake for me.” from this list

@911lonestarangstweek day 5:  Mental health + “I’m so tired of feeling like this.”

trigger warning for: suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, depression, drug addiction and drug abuse, overdosing - this is not a happy one folks, stay safe out there

ao3 | 1.9k

TK stumbles through the streets, one hand twitching anxiously at his side, the other clenched around the bottle of pills in his pocket. He’s getting strange looks from the few other people out at this hour, but he doesn’t care, he just - he just needs to find somewhere. A quiet place where he can lie down and let it all end.

He thinks he’s made his way out of the boundaries of Carlos’s regular beat now. He can’t be certain; he’s not really been paying attention to where he’s going, but he’s been walking for long enough, he hopes. If there’s one wish he has, one last prayer, it’s that Carlos isn’t the one who has to respond to this. TK knows he’s going to cause a lot of pain tonight, but if he can spare his husband this, then it’ll all be okay.

His wedding band rests heavy on his hand, it has for a while now. He’d contemplated leaving it at home, but he hadn’t quite been able to bear the thought of dying without it. It’s selfish, as is everything he’s doing, but TK doesn’t have it in him anymore to not be selfish. 

Carlos will be okay without him. He’ll be better, even; after all, who wants a husband who can barely get out of bed most mornings and never wants to be intimate anymore? 

He’s just so tired, and he knows that he’s hurting people. Carlos’s smiles are all forced these days and he has constant worry lines around his mouth and eyes, looking at TK as if he’s going to shatter at any moment. Captain Vega had told him in a gentle tone that still brooked no argument to take time off until he got his head back on straight, after a series of bad calls led to him breaking down in the middle of shift. His dad keeps hugging him, the tightness in his body when he does so telling TK everything he needs to know.

Even his therapist had said she was worried about him; TK knows that’s her job, but he still balked at the idea of being worried over.

It’s better this way. 

For everyone.

There’s a mercifully empty alley to his left and TK ducks into it, pressing himself against the brick and sliding to the cold ground. He pulls the pills out of his pocket, turning the bottle over in his hands, the rattling cutting through the air like a knife.

It steals TK’s breath, his body starting to tremble. There’s a part of him, still, that doesn’t want to do this. Or, not like this, at least. There’s a part of him that wants to hold onto his sobriety, the one thing in his life that he hasn’t managed to screw up yet. But… But this is the easiest way. He’s an old hat at overdoses by now; he knows how they work, what to expect. It’ll be the peace he’s been craving for so long.

He feels weirdly calm as he shakes the pills into his hand, staring at them for a brief second before dry swallowing them, a couple at a time. The overdose probably won’t kick in for a while, but that’s okay. He can wait.

Time blurs around TK as he starts to drift, his mind wandering down the well-trodden paths of how he’s not good enough, how he’s a terrible husband and son and friend, how he should just go ahead and relieve everyone from the burden of him already.

I know, he thinks irritably. What do you think I’m doing this for?

His mind, of course, doesn’t listen. Figures.

His body starts to list sideways and TK doesn’t fight it, letting himself droop until he’s half-sitting, half-lying on the ground. Any other time, it would probably be uncomfortable, but it’s not like these things matter anymore.

It won’t be long now, he thinks. His brain has gone all foggy and it’s getting harder and harder to string coherent thoughts together. His eyelids droop, sleep tugging at him, and TK goes gladly towards it, sparing one last thought for Carlos, holding his face in his memory for a moment before he lets go for good.

He loves him, so much. He wrote as much, in the note that’s folded up in his back pocket - he hadn’t wanted to risk Carlos coming home from work and finding it, finding him, before it was time - and he just hopes that the words will be enough. Carlos will probably hate him for a while after this, but that’s okay, too; TK deserves no less for everything he’s put his husband through recently.

Distantly, as though underwater, he registers the slamming of a car door, too close to the entrance of the alley for comfort. TK prays they won’t spot him - he just needs a little more time - but then a light falls on him, and a voice he’d hoped not to hear reaches his ears.

“TK?” Carlos’s voice trembles, and a few tears slip down TK’s cheeks. He can’t see his husband, his back turned towards him, but he knows so well the expression that’s probably gracing his face right now. He wants to tell Carlos to turn around and go home, but his tongue feels like it’s made of lead, and Carlos wouldn’t listen to him anyway.

TK doesn’t hear him come closer, but suddenly hands are on him, turning him over and manhandling him until he’s lying in Carlos’s lap. Carlos’s face swims above him, appearing and disappearing as TK’s blinks turn slow. He looks frantic, speaking into the radio on his chest; the last thing TK wants right now is an ambulance, but he just has to hope they won’t get here quick enough.

It seems likely, as his eyes shut and he finds he doesn’t have the energy to peel them back open. Carlos’s hands on him are more like a memory now; he feels like he’s floating somewhere outside his body, drifting further away with each second, each breath.

“Hey! Hey, wake up! How many of these did you take, huh?” Carlos’s voice has risen in pitch, roughly shaking TK until he cracks his eyes back open. He’s never been able to deny Carlos anything, after all.

TK doesn’t answer the question - he couldn’t even if he was able to form words. Instead, he attempts a smile, wanting to reassure his husband that it’s okay, even if he can’t say it out loud. The smile barely lasts a second before it drops, his whole face going slack and his eyes sliding shut again. 

And, this time, TK’s sure they won’t be opening again.

“No, no, don’t go back to sleep, you need to stay awake for me,” Carlos begs, something warm and wet hitting TK’s face. “Please, TK, the ambulance is nearly here. Just hold on, you’ve got to hold on.”

He can’t, though.

And it’s okay. 

It’ll all be okay.

*

It’s been four days.

Once upon a time, Carlos had thought that watching as his almost-boyfriend was whisked off in an ambulance, bullet wound in his chest, would be the worst moment of his life. Then TK had been kidnapped, and Carlos had spent hours not knowing where he was, if he was alive or dead, and he thought - this is it. Nothing can top this.

But, having to perform CPR on his husband, having to hold him as he slipped away in his arms?

That was worse than even his nightmares.

At least, worse than the nightmares from before. His nightmares now are filled with that night, except this time, TK is already gone before Carlos gets to him. Every night, Carlos clutches his cold body to his chest, and every night he startles awake with tears on his face, fresh ones appearing when he catches sight of the empty space next to him in bed.

He’d sleep at the hospital if he could, but apparently there are restrictions surrounding the ward TK’s been placed in. Carlos doesn’t really understand it and the nurse had looked apologetic when she’d explained, but that’s just the way it is, Mr. Strand-Reyes.

He hates it, but there’s nothing he can do, save for being there as often as he can. He’s spent almost every waking hour at TK’s bedside ever since it happened, and it’s been excruciating.

It’s been four days, TK awake and lucid for three of them, but he hasn’t said a word. Carlos has tried getting him to talk, Owen too, but he just won’t. It’s wearing on them all, and Carlos has begun to hate the sound of his own voice, though he infinitely prefers it to the crushing silence that otherwise envelopes the room. He talks about anything he can think of - work, their friends, the soccer game playing on the television even though TK hates sport. The only topic he avoids is the future, because none of them have any idea what that future looks like anymore.

The doctors won’t even tell them when TK might be allowed to leave. Carlos gets it, he does, but it kills him inside. 

He just wants TK to be okay.

“I’m sorry that you found me.”

Carlos’s head snaps up, eyes wide as he looks at TK. His voice is empty and rough from disuse, his gaze turned blankly to the ceiling, but he - he spoke, which is something Carlos has been praying for for days.

“I’m not,” Carlos says softly, hardly daring to breathe for fear of upsetting whatever it is that’s caused this change. He reaches out hesitantly to caress TK’s face and is rewarded when he doesn’t flinch away, though Carlos isn’t sure that TK even registered the touch.

“You weren’t supposed to. No-one was.”

Carlos feels those words like a punch to the gut and he can’t help the gasp that escapes his lips, nor the tears that begin to obscure his vision. He’s done his fair share of crying over the past few days, but now he just wipes his eyes impatiently, desperate to keep talking.

“You’re going to be okay, TK.” He forces a wobbly smile, moving his hand to TK’s hair. “You’ll be home before you know it, and everything will be okay, you’ll see.”

“You can’t promise that,” TK fires back, an edge to his voice that wasn’t there before. Then, just as quickly, he deflates, all the life going out of him again. “I’m so tired of feeling like this, ‘Los.”

Carlos’s already shattered heart breaks a little more, choking back a sob as he searches his husband’s face. “Then we’ll help you get better,” he asserts, trying to sound strong, like the rock TK needs him to be. “Me, your dad, the team - we’ll all help. I promise.”

TK slowly shakes his head. “I don’t want to get better. I don’t want to have to start all over again.” He curls up, turning on his side until his back is to Carlos, Carlos’s hand falling away to the mattress. 

TK’s next words are muffled by the pillow, but they seem to echo around the room, lodging deep in Carlos’s chest.

“I just want it all to stop.”

And, when the silence returns, Carlos doesn’t try to get rid of it. There’s nothing left for him to say that means anything; nothing left for him to do, except watch over his husband, and hope that they can make it through this.

He’s not ready to let go yet.

[thekryptonianandthecitygirl]

Clark on the things he loves/notices about Lois

As he gently puts her down, she squeezes his arms in gratitude and smiles, shouting her thanks over the loud noise of the helicopter.

It’s a nice smile, he thinks.

Clark smiles back.

____________________________________________

She’s bold. Brave, determined - oh, so very determined.

He’d suspected that since the very first moment, when the lieutenant congratulated her over her pieces about the First Division, and she’d chuckled, claiming that she got writer’s block if she wasn’t wearing a flak jacket. Clark had made a mental note to check out her articles.

And then, it’s just - one thing after another. The way she stands up to the general in that tent, setting things up straight as she calls him out on his dick measuring competition. The insolent smile and snarky comment she left him with, when he hoped to faze her with poor sleeping arrangements.

The way she wanders alone in the freezing cold, follows a stranger, and gets out her camera as she comes face to face with an alien machine.

When he gathers her in his arms that night, carefully carrying her out for her to be found as soon as the ship leaves, Clark can’t help but linger a little on her face. Sleeping, slightly whiten with the pain, she almost looks fragile.

The last few hours alone are enough for him to know how much looks can be deceiving.

Adjusting her coat around her, Clark gets up and slowly backs away towards his ship, and thinks that he’s probably never encountered someone so driven, something a little like awe building up in his stomach.

____________________________________________

She…accepts him.

When he tells her his story, the story of how he let his own father die simply not to be discovered, the story he’s most ashen of, Clark expects her disgust. A flinch, a few babbling and awkward words - at the very least, a look in her clear eyes that tells him just how terrible a person he is.

Instead, all he finds is compassion. Understanding, somehow.

She doesn’t publish anything.

In fact, she protects him, refusing to unveil any information about him when he knows the military must have tried to be pretty persuasive. But Lois doesn’t say a word. 

Instead, she teases him about his costume, a smirk on her lips and a glimmer in her eyes in that interrogation room as if they weren’t being watched by angry-looking US soldiers. As if a Kryptonian one isn’t on his way to them, about to change the world forever.

He thinks he’s halfway in love with her already, and then she reaches out to him and holds his hand as they stand in the middle of the desert. For a brief moment, he feels the crushing weight of the loneliness he’s been bearing lighten a little. His chest tightens.

Clark wishes he could tell her again how much her kindness means to him. A kindness he’s rarely, so rarely felt before. One he could never repay.

The words don’t come, though, and so he simply squeezes back, hoping she understands.

____________________________________________

After it’s all over, after he’s snapped the life out of the only one of his people left, after he’s fallen on his knees, she’s here.

She holds him close, a reassuring hand on his shoulder protecting him from the world, from himself. Her fingers thread in his hair as she whispers that it’s okay, that he’s saved them all. That it wasn’t his fault, and that she’s here.

He holds on to her as if she’s the only thing keeping him grounded, keeping him safe. In that moment, she is.

He’s not really sure how long they stay here, or how she gets him to stand. She does, though, and, thanks to her, he manages to get enough of a grip of himself to start helping with the rescue of the people that have survived.

(Before he goes, she squeezes his hand and kisses his cheek, whispering to him that she’ll be here when he’s done. Her eyes, soft, her voice, confident despite the chaos that’s surrounding her. Her own city, turned to ashes.)

He doesn’t see her for weeks, after that. Three, to be exact.

He’s counted every day.

He rescues as many as he can, helps with clearing out the ruins, follows the instructions to begin the reconstruction. Metropolis, Smallville, the whole Pacific area. There’s so much to do. 

He only stops to check on his mother and repair the house, or when he starts to feel his strength leave him despite having recharged. The first time it happens, he’s been at it for a little over 48 hours straight.

He’s a little afraid to show up at her doorstep after so long, but he does anyway. When she spots him waiting from her elevator and throws herself into his arms, her grocery bag falling heavily on the ground in her haste, Clark feels like he can properly breathe for the first time in days.

In the weeks that follow, she helps him. Clark wonders if she’ll ever stop doing that, and finds himself selfishly hoping that she never does. She helps him help them, in a reconstruction effort that feels more and more possible each day. She forces him to rest and eat and sleep, hands on her hips and what he soon begins to recognize as a ‘this is not up for discussion’ face. She paces back and forth in her small living room as they try to find out what job could fit him, beams when they do. She helps him for days and days until he has a convincing application to send to Perry.

When he gets hired at the Daily Planet, she whispers to him how proud she is, and Clark feels like his heart might burst out of his chest.

She does all that, makes it all possible, and next to that, she does everything else.

Her articles on the attack, and then on the reconstruction, break records in online reading. She helps her neighbours, goes out to stay with Jenny one night when the young intern relives the whole thing all over again. She volunteers.

Clark can see it in her eyes, though. The shadow there sometimes, when they fall on unattended ruins, or pass by that café she used to like, and is now nothing more than dust. How she tears up sometimes, whenever they broadcast images of the invasion. The nightmares.

(He holds her, keeping her close at night. Listening to her quiet confessions as they lay in her bed. He wishes he could do more.)

But, despite all of that, she keeps going - always. Keeps him going, never complaining, her resolve never wavering.

She’s strong, a force of nature, and Clark wonders what he possibly did to deserve her.

____________________________________________

When he first tells her that her heartbeat is the sound he now focuses on to drown out the world’s noise and stay sane, he hears it skip a beat.

Seconds pass, and she’s still not saying anything - she simply stares at him, mouth a little agap. They’re in her bed, him sitting against the headboard and her straddling him, and the soft hands that were cupping his face have now fallen to his neck.

He’s terrified.

He should have known better, of course. Six months isn’t that long, and knowing that an alien that you’ve known for such a short time is monitoring you like this is probably something no one wants to hear. Her heartbeat is skyrocketing now, just like his own, and he hates himself for scaring her like that. For letting himself get carried away, when he knows that’s something he can never afford.

He’s about to tell her, to apologize and promises he’ll stop, that he’ll even leave right now to give her some space, but then she kisses him, soft and tender as her fingers thread in his hair.

When he opens his eyes, she’s already looking at him.

“I love you,” she says. In his chest, he feels like his heart explodes.

____________________________________________

He’s in love with Lois Lane.

And he likes her smile, likes her drive and kindness. Her strength. 

But then, there’s hundreds of other things, too. Things that make her Lois, and that make him fall a little deeper for her every day. How he can love her more and more than he already does, he has no idea.

It’s those eyes, clear and deep and piercing, just like her. How she says his name. The beauty mark on her hip, the freckles on her skin. The way she always falls asleep drooling on him during movie night, but will never admit to it. The small, happy sigh she makes when he comes back after a night of being Superman, and curls his body around hers. 

There’s the way she always fights against injustice, whether it is standing up against racial discrimination one day where they’re shopping, or publishing a two-part story to take down a corrupted politician.The glimmer in her eye when she’s got a new lead, and the unapologetic pride when her article turns into a success. The smile full of that same pride when he comes home after having saved the day once again.

It’s everything, he realizes. He loves everything about her.

When she offers that they move in together, there’s something close to worry on her face as she waits for him to speak. If only she knew.

Chuckling, Clark leans down and kisses her, whispering his answer against her lips.

[hypnofur1]

Influencing the Influencer

By Hypnofur

“I have to say, I am loving retirement. This is my first year of being retired and it was everything I dreamed it would be and more. Everyone should retire at 36!” Dan joked into the microphone. The two radio guys laughed harder than they should have. While Dan knew that regular people couldn’t retire at 36, he wasn’t joking about loving retirement. He had been playing football since second grade. He enjoyed a 15 year career in the NFL. 13 of those years were in Cincinnati, but the last two were in Kansas City… where a SuperBowl was won in his last season.

Being part of a Super Bowl team, even as a backup like Dan was by the end of his career, makes you royalty in that city for the rest of time. Heck, ask the ’85 Bears about that. Especially in cities that love their team as much as KC. Dan always wanted to win one for Cincy, the city that he truly identified as home now, but that was never even close to being in the cards.

However, Dan was the only high profile guy from the Super Bowl team to retire after the big win. The rest of the guys pretty much stayed on the team, and were in the Super Bowl again this year. As such, all the KC radio and media people were desperate for a “Chiefs Insider” to talk to. Dan was flown down to Tampa for the week to do radio, tv, etc. He was considering a career in broadcasting, so this all-expense paid trip was a nice little trial run. The only downside of it, was that Casey didn’t come with him.

Dan’s wife was going to go to Tampa with him, and make a ton of Instagram videos and posts from Tampa. She was incredibly excited about it, as was the social media company that employed her to do all these blogs. Her sweetness, honesty, great style, and knockout natural beauty was evident to anyone who saw her, whether in real life or on a screen. She had sort of become “Cincy’s Sweetheart” over the years, so when influencers became a thing, she was in high demand. The Tampa vlogs were likely going to set records for likes. However, Dan’s mom broke her ankle in a fall the week before.

Casey insisted she stay home to help Dan’s mom. This is why Dan was head over heels for her. Yes, she was gorgeous. But she was also the sweetest, most wonderful wife in the world. While all the other players would have girlfriends and hook ups in each city, Dan never did. He was completely and utterly faithful to Casey.

With all this said, while Casey didn’t go to Tampa, she had to vlog about something. Trips to Dan’s Mom’s house during the day to help her out wouldn’t make good content. Such was the topic of conversation as the couple chatted on the phone Friday morning.

“So did you find anything to vlog about?” Dan asked.

“Ugh, I think so. They really want us to push groupon experience things. They gave DeAndra groupon passes to a comedy show, so we are going to do that.” Casey told her husband. She meant to sound a bit more cheery as she did so. She was trying so hard to not show her disappointment over not being in Tampa. She didn’t want to make him feel bad.

“Oh yeah, is Darnell going? If the dude is funny, the sound of Darnell’s laugh when he gets roaring is the only thing anyone in that place is going to hear! Hopefully the dude doesn’t make Bengals jokes. Darnell will get up on that stage!” Dan laughed, as did Casey.

“Did you drink tons of water last night?” Casey asked. She was always concerned about him.

“Hahah. I did. A whole river. I’m doing good. Three more days babe, then I am home to you. I miss you so much.” Dan said, very truthfully.

“Me too. I’ll tell DeAndra and Darnell you said hi” she smiled as she hung up.

Dan missed her terribly, but he was at least pleased that he’d have her vlog to watch later that night. He loved watching those. However, it was Friday night of Super Bowl week. Dan had a whirlwind day. He was treated like a Chiefs Legend because he was wearing that Super Bowl ring. He even got invited to a dinner with Joe Montana! He couldn’t pass that up. Dinner was great. Drinks were had, and not enough water was consumed. Dan passed out when he got back to the hotel.

It was late the next morning when Dan finally awoke. He realized that he had missed Casey’s Instagram vlog. He was surprised he didn’t have a text about that from her. He checked her Insta page. There wasn’t one from last night. That was really odd. He started to get a little nervous.

He texted her. “Hi, you ok? No vlog from last night?”

Fortunately, he got an immediate return text “Just filmed it this morning. Posting now J”

That put him at ease. He took a quick shower, and then grabbed his phone to see his beautiful wife’s angelic face. She was in her car. For some reason, that’s where people filmed themselves. Dan never understood why that was a thing.

“Hey guys, its Casey! Hope you are all having a great weekend! I know it is Super Bowl weekend, and that is super exciting for tomorrow! But, I wanted to tell you guys about a great experience me and my friends had thanks to groupon last night! My hubby is out of town, and I was feeling kind of sad, but then my friends called and said they had a groupon for an awesome experience. Totally changed the course of my weekend!

So we went to Funny Bone at Liberty Center, which is such a cute place! Anyway, my friend DeAndra told me the comedian was actually a stage hypnotist named Arnold Denton, aka The Amazing Hypno-natti. When I heard hypnotist, I was freaking out! Oh, and yeah, I found the name ‘Hypno-natti’ lame as well, but trust me guys, he is soooooo amazing!

So anyway guys, when we got in, I decided to put my fear aside and volunteer. Seriously guys, it was one of the craziest experiences I’ve ever had. Before we were even brought up on stage, we had to sign a waiver that basically said the hypnotist is not responsible for any injuries that may occur and all that other fun legal stuff. Guys, believe me when I tell you that I cannot recall a moment in my in my life that I was more nervous when I was up on that stage. The hypnotist explained to us, and the rest of the audience, that what we were about to experience was extremely different. Some of us would remember exactly what happened, and some of us wouldn’t. In total, there were probably about like twenty five of us lined up in front of the stage and the audience was told to be completely silent.

Right before we began, the hypnotist told us that we would be “under” for about a half an hour, but our bodies would react as if it had been asleep for 8 hours. So crazy! From what I can remember, it went a little like this:

We were told to sit down and just relax. With our eyes closed, we were told that we should feel this ‘energy of relaxation’ that would begin to pool at our feet and then work its way up to our body. All the while, there was this really strange music that was playing and the hypnotist was talking to us. After about 5 minutes he had us open our eyes and raise our arms horizontally and lock our fingers together so that we made a ball with our fists. At this point, we are still not under, so we were all aware of our surroundings and what not. Next thing I know, Hypno-natti is coming straight down the line and thrusting our hands down into our laps and pushing our heads down onto the shoulder of the person sitting to our left. It was about my turn and the last thing I can remember about this part is him yelling “Sleep!”

After the whole intro, we woke up and he was kind of pacing the stage and the audience was giggling and stuff and I can remember being super confused. I seriously thought that the show ended and I was actually asleep the whole time. As he was pacing, he was just casually talking to the audience and then he said “spark” (what I now know is a “trigger word”) and just like that it felt as though the wrath of God had come through the leg of the chair I was sitting in and electrocuted me in the butt! It hurt so bad; not like a long pain, but just like a jolt of electricity. I stood up so fast and everybody in the place was just rolling! I looked around and it was just me and another guy standing and grabbing our butts. He did this a couple more times and then triggered some of the other people and the whole time I just remember being super confused. At one point, I remember crying, because I had fallen deeply, madly in love with him, and he was dancing with someone else. It was soo crazy guys! Long story short, the hypnotist basiscally made us his personal puppets and we were slightly embarrassed, but it was all in good fun. My friends and I totally laughed about it all night after. It was a great experience that was all made possible through groupon!! Swipe up and see what other fun experiences they can save you a ton on. Luv you guys!!!” She concluded with a kiss of her fingers then the peace sign.

Dan loved to see her and hear her voice. He was wishing it wasn’t 48 full hours until he’d get to see her again. But it was. Those 48 hours went quickly at least. Frankly, it was a whirlwind. By the time he walked in the door of his spacious Cincinnati home Monday morning, he was exhausted – but so glad to hug, squeeze, and kiss his gorgeous brunette wife.

“Tell me everything!!” Casey said as she put some coffee on. She could tell by his face that he needed it.

Dan laughed as he admitted he exhausted. It had been quite a week of late night dinners, Super Bowl parties, and media work. It was terrific, but it wiped him out. However, he happily launched into his diatribe. He told her about all the radio shows he went on, and how he even did a couple TV spots. Casey squealed when he told her that he plugged her vlogs on all the local Cincinnati shows.

“ooooh My big media mogul!” Casey flirted. Her big brown eyes gazing into Dan’s. Then her phone beeped with a text, which was a constant occurrence. She grabbed it and checked the text. It was at this point that her expression changed. She became completely focused on the phone. It was like she suddenly forgot Dan was there.

“Who’s that?” Dan asked, realizing this was strange. Was someone hurt? Was something wrong? Casey didn’t answer. She just typed a couple things on her phone, and then walked upstairs, not even addressing Dan as she left. Dan found this very strange, but he also had to pee really bad. He figured he’d see what the deal was, but had to handle that situation briefly before anything else.

Much to his shock, by the time he got up to the bedroom, Casey was naked and wearing headphones. She was sprawled out on their bed, reclining in a mound of fur pillows. Naked and eyes closed with her blue bullet vibrator that they had bought as a sexy toy at their anniversary. Dan understandably figured that this was a “welcome home” sex game. He found himself immediately getting hard.

"I’m going deeper and deeper." Casey said quietly. Dan assumed she was talking about the vibrator going into her pussy. This was unusual sex talk from her, but he was still into it.

She moans, "Going deeper and deeper. I am deeply hypnotized. "

Dan was stunned. She was sooooooo freaking sexy with a nipple in one hand and that toy teasing the other one. But what did she say? Did she say hypnotized?

“Deeply hypnotized and deep under your control.” She whispers.

Dan heard that and got more concerned, but then couldn’t help but notice that he sound of the vibrator changed! She had turned up the setting. Soon, she was pinching her breasts and her hips are starting to rock slowly. She was moaning and purring. Dan was so hard he couldn’t think straight.

Casey turned the toy up to level 3; as fast as it goes. The next 4 settings are just various combinations of the 3 vibration speeds. Her hips were moving faster, her breasts were bouncing and she was having a hard time keeping the toy on her clit. Her teeth were clenched and she could feel the orgasm start to creep over her skin. . Her chest was heaving as she changed the setting on the toy again.

Slow, Slow, Slow, medium, medium, medium, fast, fast, fast

Slow, Slow, Slow, medium, medium, medium, fast, fast, fast

Slow, Slow, Slow, medium, medium, medium, fast, fast, fast

Slow, Slow, Slow, medium, medium, medium, fast, fast, fast

With hypnotic words and commands being fed into her mind, the orgasm raced up her torso and arched her body off the bed. Her neck muscles tightened and her eyes pinched shut as she screamed out loud and held the toy in place right on top of her clit.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOhHHHHHHHHHH, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I server Master Hypno-natti!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I belong to Master Hypno-natti!!!!!!!!!!!! OOOOHHHHMYGODMASTERRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Shock from Dan.

Awe from Dan.

Lust from Dan.

Fear from Dan.

Anger from Dan… and anger won.

He grabbed the headphones and ripped them off her. He yelled right into the microphone. “This is her husband, you sick fuck! Stay the fuck away from us, or I’ll rip your motherfucking arms off!!!!”

There was a click, and Dan knew that the person on the other end of that phone was gone. He turned his attention to Casey, who was now glistening with sweat, and still breathing heavy.

“Cay – Cay, wake up babe. Cay” he said, shaking his wife.

She eventually stirred, opened her big brown eyes and stared back at her husband. “Dan, what’s going on?” she asked.

“This is going to sound nuts, babe. But I think the hypnotist from the other night, like triggered you into masturbating for him on the phone.” Dan explained carefully. He wasn’t sure how his Catholic, surprisingly conservative wife would handle this manipulation.

He watched her face as the realization of what happened washed over her. He held his breath as he expected the tears to start rolling. Instead, she looked at him wide eyed. Then her beautiful big brown eyes slowly went down to his crotch.

“I missed you” she whispered, as she stared at her husband’s erection.

Confusion from Dan.

Fear from Dan.

Love from Dan.

Lust from Dan… and lust won.

He went down and made love to his wife. They kissed passionately, like the reunited lovers they were. Dan couldn’t remember the last time he was this turned on. He couldn’t wait any longer, and inserted himself right into his wife’s already very wet pussy. He glided right in. He didn’t last long in there. Within 30 seconds, he had finished. Casey giggled and gave him a loving hug. He crashed on to the bed beside her. Planning to only take a minute to catch his breath and then have a talk with his wife about the whole hypnotist thing, Dan accidentally fell sound asleep. The crazy week of the Super Bowl was just too much. He was out like a light, he didn’t even hear Casey get a text...

Dan slept for a good two and a half hours. He woke up to Casey lovingly rubbing his back.

“Hey babe, if you sleep too long, you won’t be able to get to sleep tonight. Your schedule will be all wacky.” She said lovingly. He knew she was right. She was always taking care of him.

Dan turned around in the bed and smiled at his beautiful wife. She had gotten freshened up, her clothes were back on and she was all together. God, she was so beautiful. Like a brunette angel.

“Hey, try this” she said, handing Dan a cup of tea. “It is a new chamomile tea they want us to vlog about. It’s actually reeaalllly good!” Casey said excitedly. Dan took the tea and tried it. He wasn’t a tea guy, but… anything for Casey.

“Hey, look babe, we have to talk about that Hypno-natti guy. I think he’s like still playing with your head” Dan said. He had always been direct. “When I came upstairs, you were on the phone with him I think, and you were, you know…”

“Playing with myself?” Casey said with a devilish, but so cute grin. She didn’t usually say things like that.

“Yeah” Dan said, surprised she said that out loud. He felt his dick stir a bit.

“Seriously babe, you are going to love that tea” Casey encouraged. Dan took another sip. It was pretty good.

“So, that was hot to see, I’ll admit, but you can’t have some guy like… controlling you to do sex stuff” Dan said, surprised he needed to map it out to her to this point.

Casey nodded. Then she looked at the bed sheet starting to tent around Dan’s groin. She laughed. “Well well, me thinks he doth protest too much” she teased. “OMG, I forgot to tell you. I saw the BEST movie on HBO Max when you were gone!” she said exuberantly.

“HBO Max? Babe, we should really deal with this hypnotist thing.” Dan said, what the hell was going on? His head was feeling a bit tingly. Boy, he must still be tired.

“I know Dan, and we will. I’m sorry, I have just missed you soo much. I saw this movie, and it was like, really sexy. And I can see that you are, you know… turned on right now” she said as she gently stroked his growing hard on.

“We can deal with this hypno stuff later. But right now, I am in the mood, and you are in the mood, and I want to show you the sexiest things I’ve ever seen on screen. Finish your tea and we can check this out” Casey said as she leaned into a sensual kiss with her husband.

Dan was a very smart man. He went to Notre Dame. He knew something was seriously fucked up here. But he was a MAN. And the curiosity of what kind of movie could have been so hot that it got her acting like this was just too curious for him to ignore. Against his better judgement, he let his beautiful wife lead him to their home theater room. He felt his head spin as he stood up from the bed.

“Take a seat in the middle” Casey directed with another long sensual kiss before turning on the surround sound and the media player. Dan’s eyes were glued to her. She was walking around such sexy confidence. He had never seen her like this. What the hell was in this movie???

Satisfied that the AV system was on and playing, Casey sat down in the large velvet chair next to her husband’s. The giant screen was black for a while, and Dan noticed that there was a humming coming from the speakers. The humming was vibrating through this very core. It felt… warm? Was that right? Soon there was a black and white spiral on the screen. What kind of HBO Max thing is this? Dan thought. Then he remembered the hypnotist. Wait, what the fuck? He went to protest, but he was becoming enthralled by the whirling spiral that had become the only thing in the room. He could feel it hypnotizing him, warm waves of relaxation moving out from it into his opening mind. Hypnotizing him. Hypnotizing Casey. Hypnotizing them with the way it spun around and around, always going deeper.

This was how it felt to be hypnotized? Dan thought to himself. He never could have dreamed how nice it was. How good it felt to be under hypnosis, under hypnotic control. He knew who the voice belonged to now, that it was Hypno-natti talking to them as they watched in a deep hypnotic state. Hypno-natti was amazing! Sooo amazing. Hypno-natti was the master of the fascinating, hypnotic spiral that controlled their minds.. He was telling them that it was time to submit their entire mind and body now, to go into a trance.

Dan knew he didn’t want to do that, but he felt a deep desire to obey, an overwhelming urge to submit. Pleasing Hypno-natti was most important. To go into a trance for Hypno-natti. Hypno-naitti’s voice was telling them to prepare to surrender totally to his hypnotic power. The spiral was turning faster now. Dan felt all his thoughts begin to move down into it. He could feel the intense hypnotic influence reaching out for his mind and he couldn’t help but submit. Faster and faster, round and round. He was falling into it. Falling faster and faster. She could see only an endless spiral in front of him now, a deep whirling tunnel that pulled him in as he stared into it. Hypno-natti’s voice was controlling their thoughts, hypnotizing them into total obedience.. There was only the spiral. And the voice. The whirling spiral. The soothing voice. Hypno-natti’s voice. Their master. Dan knew he must obey. Casey knew she must obey her master. They were hypnotized, so deeply and completely.

Next thing Dan knew, he was somehow in the foyer. When had he left the theater room? There was a knock at the door. He answered. There was a small scrawny guy about 10 years older than him standing in the doorway.

“Can I help you?” Dan asked, his head still cloudy.

“I’m the Amazing Hypno-natti” the man said. His majestic voice now very familiar to the former NFL start. “Invite me in” he commanded.

“Please, come in” Dan said immediately, stepping out of the way.

Casey had entered the foyer when she heard the knock. When she saw Hypno-natti, she was immediately overcome with desire. He was soooo sexy. The sexiest man ever born. She immediately felt her pussy moisten and her nipples get sensitive. She flirtatiously played with her hair and smiled at him.

“Hello my darling Casey” he said as he took her in. She was so incredibly beautiful with her gorgeous brunette hair, big brown eyes, and perfect trim figure.

Dan knew this wasn’t right. He could sense the attraction between them. What the hell? She was his wife. “Look buddy, I-”

“Dan, go into trance” Hypno-natti said authoritatively. Dan said nothing, but his hands fell to his sides.

“Casey, I am your Master. You desire me above anything else.” Hypno-natti said, feeling very confident that both parties in the couple were completely under his hypnotic sway.

He moved into Casey, kissing her neck gently. She was too lost in him to look over at her husband, who was still still standing next to her with a glazed, entranced look in his eyes.

At Hypno-natti’s direction, the three went upstairs to the bedroom. At this point, the hypnotist commanded Dan. "Take off your wife’s pants and panties”.

Dan rose to action slowly. "Yes, Sir," he said in a soft, deferential voice as he knelt in front of her and pulled down the black yoga pants and little satin panties that were meant for his homecoming.

“Lay her on the bed” Hypno-natti said as he took off his own pants. Dan complied and then went to stand up against the wall when instructed to do so. All this, despite the 10 or so inches of height and almost 150lbs of muscle that Dan had on the hypnotist.

Hypno-natti descended upon her, his face directly in front of hers. His eyes boring into her own. "Submit to my influence, Casey. Submit to my hypnotic power. Submit to Hypno-natti. Submit to hypnosis” he said as he again rhythmically put his cock against her body.

"Very, very good, Casey. You're blissfully floating, deeply in my erotic thrall, open to all my commands. Feeling so wonderful as you obey me. Realizing now that nothing seems important but obeying me, because it feels so wonderful, so sexual. You want the sexy feeling of obeying me, don't you, Casey?"

"Yes. I want to obey." She repeated happily, lost in lust.

"Very good Casey. The more obedient you are, the more wonderful you will feel. Only pleasing me matters now, nothing else. All you want now is the wonderful, sexual, floating feeling of obeying my voice. All you want is to be deeply under my control and to obey me. Tell me now what you want, Casey."

"Deeply under your control. Obey you."

"Do you want me inside you?" he asked the hypnotized wife.

"Yes!" Casey answered, no longer caring for her dignity, her marriage, or for anything but the prospect of being ravished by her master.

The man poked the head of his penis against her quivering opening, slight hip movements just threatening to penetrate her, but not quite.

"Tell your husband how badly you want me to fuck you."

Casey shut her eyes, ashamed of the words she knew she had to offer. "I want him to fuck me!" she offered to the room.

The man pushed her head to the side, making her stare at her husband, still standing against the wall, his penis slowly inching its way to a semi-erection with the spectacle. "Say, 'Dan, I need Hypno-natti’s hypnotic dick inside me.'"

"Honey!" she mustered. Pausing, unbelieving of her own abandon. "I need Hypno-natti’s hypnotic big dick inside me! I neeeed it!!"

With one sharp thrust, the man invaded her with the full length of his modest cock, and Casey cried out in surrender at the explosion of pleasure. He brought his face down to hers, leaning in as if to kiss her, his breath hot on her face, and slowly slid his dick out, his rock-hard shaft grinding against her achingly swollen G-spot. As she raised her lips to accommodate him, he pulled his face away teasingly and thrust himself violently into her again, eliciting another loud pre-orgasmic cry. For what seemed like an eternity, they kept up this erotic dance of desire and denial, his hands caressing her hair, the almost gentle play of his face so close to hers contrasting exquisitely with the force of his thrusts. Finally, he brought his lips to meet hers and kissed her deeply, the lustiness of his tongue's exploration telling her that he was just as aroused by her as she was by him. His cock driving into her more insistently now, faster, even deeper it seemed.

And she loved it - there was no use denying it to herself. The hypnotic power of his eyes, their entrancing gaze. Now the hypnotist was pulling her head back by her hair as he fucked her, running his tongue up and down her neck. Then unleashing her and licking her all over her face. Making her feel so owned. The pressure inside building now to unbearable intensity, the edge of orgasm too much to stand. "Oh... my... God!" she stammered.

The man now gripping the slats of the headboard as leverage to drive himself into her with as much force as he could. He wrapped his small ams around her, squeezing her to him, her tits pressed against his chest, making her feel what strength he had as he continued fucking her just as hard as he could. She wrapped her arms around her Master, wanting to feel him as much as possible.

“Cum for me now my pet and tell me that you now belong to me!” Hypno-natti grunted.

In a burst of mind-shattering pleasure, Casey felt every muscle in her body violently contract upon his words. Her nerves screamed in ecstasy. A long, wailing scream shaping the breath that rushed out of her lungs, forming finally into words..."

"OH GOD, I'M CUMMMMMIIIIIIING!!!!IIIIMMMM YOURRRRSSS!!!"

**********************************************

A week later…

“Hey guys! This is Casey. We are half way through February. I can almost smell the spring! Anyway, I want to tell you guys about something that I am soooo into right now. I’ve been totally improving myself through hypnosis. You guys might remember one of my earlier vlogs where I talked about a totally fun stage show I went to starring the Amazing Hypno-natti. Well, I’ve been working with him one on one on a ton of stuff and he is totally helping me with his incredible hypnosis skills. Dan too! So, swipe up to learn more about Hypno-natti. He has both sessions and videos available. And you can even find where you can try some of his unbelievable chamomile tea. Guys, it is sooo good! More vlogs coming this week, don’t forget to like and subscribe Luv you guys!!!” She concluded with a kiss of her fingers then the peace sign.

[prettyguardiankore-blog]

Their Return (Levi x Fem!Reader)

Chapter 9

(updated completely on my ao3!)

… 47 ... 48 ... 49… . .50! You let out a labored exhale as you collapsed onto the floor, muscles aching. You used to be able to pump out 100 like nothing, and now, it took you twice as long, and you could barely muster 50. This decided it. You were going to start training again. It unnerved you knowing you were this weak. You groaned as you slowly pulled yourself up from the ground, wincing slightly as your muscles pulled. You glanced down at your chest. Boob sweat. Nice. You reached over to the bench for your towel and began wiping yourself down.

They had left in the morning. You hadn’t slept much, and after a restless slumber, you woke up and peered out of your window, to see a flurry of Scouts pouring out of the castle's main gate. It had been raining.

📷

Most of your morning had consisted of you curled up under your covers, desperately trying to return to sleep, so you wouldn’t think about the expedition. Although, it quickly became evident it wouldn’t work- being in your room doing absolutely nothing was a more tortuous task than you’d anticipated. After realizing that being alone with your thoughts wouldn't do, you began to pack your morning with anything and everything you could to pass the time. So far you’d updated the library catalog, dusted the shelves, helped the cooks clean the kitchen (a task that had earned you a small basket of fruits, which you graciously accepted.), and watered some plants. Hell, you’d even cleaned your room, the filthy mess it was. And now you’d just finished a workout. You looked at your watch. It’d been about two hours since you’d come into the training room. That should be good for today, you decided, so you gave yourself one last wipe down before shutting the door, and heading back to your room.

You needed a shower. You stunk, bad. As you entered your room, you marveled once again in how spacious the floor actually was when it wasn’t covered in shit, and headed to the bathroom, removing your sticky sports bra and exercise shorts, and popping yourself into the cool water. They should be returning soon, you thought, as you scrubbed your scalp. Occupying yourself with busywork hadn’t actually done much to calm your nerves, it only distracted you. All day you’d been thinking about them. How many of them would return? If any of them would return... You felt a lump rising in your throat as you clasped your hand over your lips to stop their trembling. You’d never been so emotional. Hange and Moblit had gone on plenty of expeditions, so why were all these fears resurfacing now? You shut off the water and stepped out of the shower to begin getting ready. It was probably because of Furlan. Your chest grew heavy as you replayed through your own memories. The last conversation I had with him reminded me so much of her … you slapped your cheeks. Stop projecting. It wasn’t fair to Furlan or Marla, and it certainly wasn’t doing your mental wellbeing any justice. You sighed, and returned your attention to getting ready. You didn’t want to take too long, so you put your hair up as quickly as you could, threw on a simple sundress your mother had sewn for you ages ago, and headed out the door. You couldn’t wait any longer, and they should be arriving back soon.

You decided to just wait at the top of the tower until you saw them entering Wall Rose. You’d done basically everything you could to pass the time at this point, so all there was left to do was to wait. You stepped up the narrow stairs, and popped into the area. ★Cold air immediately hit your face, and you shivered. I should’ve brought a jacket, you grimaced, rubbing your arms. You’d forgotten how cold it could get up there. You perched yourself onto the wall's edge and peered down below. Everything looked so small from up there.

Jump off.

You blinked, before slowly removing yourself from the edge. Let’s not get into that right now. ★ You stared mindlessly out into the city, until eventually, you noticed something.

📷

You stared out near the gate. You couldn’t see much, but at the very least from where you stood, you could make out a large group of people accumulated near the entrance. You twiddled your thumbs nervously together. It would be around half an hour before they made it back to the castle. So now you had to wait again. You groaned, and slumped your forehead into your palms. You almost wished you hadn’t seen them enter the wall, because now your restlessness had increased tenfold. So you just stood there, eyes closed tightly shut, waiting. The wind brushed against your face. I wonder if the wind is whistling right now. After what seemed like years, you shot a glance over the wall. Your eyes widened. They were back. You shot up and bolted over the door and began running through the castle. All the pent up energy you’d accumulated throughout the day was bursting out of you as you rushed out to go wait by the main gate. You didn’t want to actually talk to them, aside from Hange, most soldiers weren’t very chatty upon their return, rightfully so. So you weren’t entirely sure how you’d go about checking up on everyone without being annoying. Eventually, you settled on waiting by a pillar. When you spot Hange, you’d pull them from the crowd, and ask them how it went. So that’s what you did. You hid yourself behind the tall stone pillar, peeking out from behind it. You squinted your eyes. You couldn’t see them at all. Come on, where are they? You thought, chewing your lip pensively. As you scanned the crowd, you suddenly felt someone grab your sides from behind, and you jumped about a foot into the air, before quickly turning around. You were met with Hange grinning at you, and Moblit standing to their left, shooting you an apologetic look.

You shot a look back to the crowd, and then back to the, jaw dropped open.“H-How did you-”

“You’re not slick you know. Everyone could totally see you.”

“I wasn’t trying to- Well- ”

You didn’t know where you were going with that, so you clamped your mouth shut. You looked back at them, and you realized something. They were standing right in front of you. They weren’t corpses left behind, or being carried on the wagon. There was no one else standing in front of you, telling you with an averted gaze that they didn’t make it. They were right here. Tears began forming in your eyes.

“Oh dear! You’re crying? What’s been up with you recently? Are you going through puberty again?” they chuckled.

“Hange, don’t tease her.” Moblit scolded lightly, before turning back to you, and giving you a kind, but tired smile. He reached over and gently pat your head. “Don’t worry, we’re back.”

You nodded, clenching your jaw tightly to prevent your entire face from trembling.

“Ah, you're just like a little kid.” they smiled pulling you in for a hug. You weren’t big on physical affection, but as they held you, you found yourself craving their touch, and furrowed yourself deeper into their embrace, closing your eyes. A strange warm feeling was blossoming in your chest. It was lovely.

Suddenly you felt another warm feeling in your body, but this wasn’t the feeling of love. It was the feeling of embarrassment. That didn’t take long. You’d come over blubbering like a baby, and had collapsed into their arms. They were probably tired from the expedition, and you were just giving them more to worry about. At once, you felt very uncomfortable. You slowly pulled yourself from their arms and stood, back straight, clearing your throat.

“Sorry. Maybe I am going through puberty again. That would explain a lot.” you chuckled.

“Don’t worry about it.” they said gently. You nodded bashfully. ”How did it go?” you asked.

“Well, we did fine.” they said, turning back to Moblit. “But the rain was really horrible. That, in combination with the new formations we weren’t as familiar with... resulted in a lot of us getting separated. We were fine, but I don’t know about everyone else.” they said, frowning.

“At the very least, we're all accounted for. No one's missing.” Moblit chimed in.

“I see. Well, I’m glad you two are okay.” you said, softly. “Really glad.”

“We could tell.” they teased. You shot them an annoyed look, and cleared your throat.

“By the way, have you seen Levi’s squad at all?” you asked, turning to face Moblit. He looked up, thinking.

“I haven’t. Because we got separated, we ended up turning back at different times. I think we were the last group.” He said, with a shrug. “But they should be back in their barracks at this point, if you want to go check up on them.”

You fiddled with your dress, and shot your eyes down to your feet. You were finally about to find out what happened to them. It was strange. As much as you wanted to rush over and check on them, the ever looming possibility of some of them not being there also made you want to lock yourself away in your room and never come out. But you were going to have to find out eventually, and waiting if you waited any longer you might die from the stress.

“Thank you, Moblit.”

“Mhm.”

You said your goodbyes and thank yous to the two of them, and headed to the barracks. Once you reached the entrance gate, you stopped. The anxiety brewing in your chest left your skin feeling prickly. You clenched your fists. You can do this.

You took a deep breath and began a skittish walk to the barracks, until you found yourself at their room, your hand hovering over the door, preparing to knock. But your hand never moved. You stood frozen, the world still around you, all while your mind was screaming at you to take action. Just do it. Then, you felt someone tap on your shoulder, abruptly pulling you from your trance. You whipped your head back. Levi stood behind you, eyes downcast and sullen. Upon seeing his expression, you felt your nerves go through the roof. He’s alone, you noted, chewing your lip. No, no, that doesn’t mean anything. They might still be at the stables. Isabel really loved that horse. During your writing lessons, she’d often get distracted, and ever since she was assigned that horse, it’s all she would talk about, gushing about the animal until you gently reminded her why she was with you. You swallowed, before mustering out something to say.

“H-how did the expedition go? I heard you guys got separated.”

He said nothing. His silence brought an inescapable feeling of dread washing over your body. You hadn’t wanted to ask this right from get go. But you couldn’t keep it in.

“Where are Isabel and Furlan?” you asked, quietly. He flicked his gaze back to look at you, eyes widening, before casting his eyes back down to the floor.

Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. You knew exactly what that look meant. You’d seen it countless times. You took a shaking breath, and tears began dripping out of your eyes. They’d died out there. And they’d died in the most horrendous way possible. They had so much life in them, and it had been torn away. Their last moments had been filled with absolute terror. You brought your hands to cover your face. You thought you could prepare yourself mentally for bad news. How naive. Isabel was so young, and she had barely set out to see the world. Furlan, he definitely had feelings for you. It was something you chose to ignore because you weren’t sure how to deal with it. But, could you have been happy together? Could you have really loved each other? Were all your potential lovers simply doomed to die? These questions felt all too familiar.

But you were not the one hurting the most right now.

You slowly pulled your face from your hands to look at Levi. He looked devastated. His jaw was clenched stiffly shut, eyes dead set on his shoes, He couldn’t meet your eye. Your heart ached at the sight, but you couldn’t think of anything you could do to help him. Nothing you could say could alleviate the pain, and even if it could, you didn’t know that you had the strength in you to say it. You swallowed down the lump in your throat, and finally said something.

“Levi, I am so sorry.” you murmured.

You reached out your arms, and pulled him into your chest. Maybe you should’ve asked first, but you didn’t know if you could successfully get any words out without beginning to cry. So you just held him in your arms. You held your breath. He felt stiff, but eventually, you felt him relax in your arms, and you let out a quivering breath as you exhaled. Your eyes widened as you felt his arms slowly reach up behind your back, returning the embrace.

The two of you held each other. Your shaky breaths had turned into a torrent of quiet sobs as you held him in your arms. Your mind raced over what you could’ve done to prevent this outcome, but you came up with nothing. You thought reaching this conclusion would provide you with some sense of acceptance, but it only deepened the sorrow in your heart. There was absolutely nothing you could’ve done to prevent this, and that was the most frustrating thing in the world. How ironic, you’d reached out to comfort him, but you were the only one crying. After a while, you felt something land on your head, but you dismissed it. But then you felt another, then another, so you decided to pull away and look up at the sky. It was raining again. Fucking great.

“What the hell is up with the weather today?” you sniffled. “It’s totally erratic.” you said, looking back down to meet his eyes.

They looked glassy now, but you decided not to bring it up. He didn’t say anything. Maybe he just wanted to be left by himself, you would understand if he did. But before you left him on his own, you wanted to reach out one last time. Maybe some company would comfort him before he returned to his room, alone. Should I offer him some tea? You shivered, rubbing your arms. It was freezing. Might as well try it.

“W-would you want to grab some tea before you went to sleep?”

“Hold on.”

You raised your brow as he walked into his room, shutting the door in your face, and he soon came out, throwing something at you. You flinched as you aimlessly grabbed at the air, to catch whatever he threw at you, and you realized it was a piece of clothing, you held it up, and saw it was the same jacket he'd been wearing the first time you’d met. You gave him a confused look.

“A thin sundress doesn’t do much for the rain.”

“Ah, I suppose you’re right.” you said, shimmying your arms into the sleeves. Wasn’t quite your size, but it’d do.

“Thank you.”

“Mhm.”

The two of you began walking over to the castle in silence. Thankfully, but not unsurprisingly, there were no annoying guards to pester you on your way there. The heaviness and guilt in your heart hadn’t wavered, but you’d gotten out all your tears, or at least the tears you were willing to spill in front of other people. You soon arrived in the kitchen, and you immediately set to make the tea. Usually the silence would be unbearable, but both of you had far too much on your mind to even notice. Besides, you hadn’t invited him to chat, you only wanted to keep him from being alone for the rest of the evening. You filled the pot with water, placed it on the stove and sat down next to Levi at the table. You were staring out blankly into the air in front of you until you felt him tap on your shoulder, and you turned to his lips.

“How do you deal with this?”

You stopped for a moment to think about how to answer. You probably weren’t the person to ask.

“As I think you noticed a couple days ago, not in the best ways.”

“...How aren’t you angry?”

“I was, I-I mean, I still am, to be honest. The only thing that really changed is that I grew tired...It’s tiring being so angry every single day, “ you paused. “I don’t know if I told you this, or maybe Hange mentioned it, the blabbermouth they are, but during my recovery days, I was very rowdy… I feel so bad for those poor nurses. I had multiple broken ribs, some internal bleeding in my stomach, and to top it all off, I couldn’t hear a thing, but every day, I still tried to sneak out of the hospital, I hated being confined to bed.” you explained, fiddling your fingers together. “This sort of behavior only grew when they told me that more likely than not I wouldn’t be able to serve. I felt like I had to prove my competence to them, so I was sneaking off to the training fields at night. Eventually, they had to restrain me to my bed.”

“Doesn’t sound like you.”

“I’ve changed quite a bit since then, probably for the better. But anyways, about your question, eventually, I realized that my anger had no real direction. I was mad at myself, for not being quick enough. I was mad at Marla, for not listening to our Captain's orders, I was mad at my Captain, for picking us to go back and kill that crazy abnormal, and I was mad at the titans. I even attacked Hange at one point. I quickly lost, considering it took all I had to stand properly.” you said, feeling your face heating up at the memory. “But there was nothing I could do. So eventually my anger waned off, and was replaced with self loathing.”

You stopped to think, staring mindlessly at your hands, folded neatly on your lap.

“But it’s still there, I know that much… but you know, it’s not all bad. I’ve realized that since then the only thing I can do is grow for the better. I only slip when I allow myself to, and that’s fine as long as I can recover the next day.. And I still have people that care about me.” you noted. The faces of Hange and Moblit flashed through your mind. “...And the ones that are no longer here to care for me, I have to act right for them. I don’t want them to be disappointed or sad as they look down on me. I have to live on properly for them.”

You felt the tears welling up in your eyes, and the heavy feeling in your chest reappeared.

“I-I don’t know if any of that was helpful...but that’s my experience with it.”

You looked back to face him. He looked at you with distant eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he did, his eyes flicked over to the stove behind you, and he shut his mouth, pointed a finger at it.

“It’s boiling.”

“O-oh okay. I’ll get that.” you said, leaping off from your seat to the stove. You set it down on the counter to allow it to cool, and opened the cabinet, reaching in for the tea cans.

“Green or black?”

“Green, please.”

You nodded, and set some cups out to steep, before placing yourself back on the seat next to him.

“I’m going to continue on the expeditions.”

You nodded.

“I don’t know what's in store for me in the future, but I’ve decided on one thing. I’m not going to live the rest of my life in regret of this decision.” He swallowed, clasping his hands tightly in front of him. “I’m going to live on, dedicating my whole life to this cause.”

You stared at him. What he was saying sounded noble, but you couldn’t help but be worried. It somehow seemed like a self destructive mindset. You took a long sip from your tea, and stared down into the glistening liquid. You were scared. You’d told him that things got better, but how much of that did you actually believe yourself? It took every ounce of your power not to burst into tears where you sat and cry for hours. You felt a lump in your throat, and swallowed.

“It’s most important to live for yourself. Just remember that.” you said, softly.

“You too.”

“Huh?”

“You shouldn’t be happy just because of the wishes of others. You should be happy because you are.”

You blinked at him, before staring back into your mug.

“I guess I was being sort of hypocritical, huh?”

The two of you sat there in silence for a while, slowly sipping away at your tea, until eventually, your cups were empty. You reached into your pocket for your watch. It was late now. You turned back to face him.

“We should probably get out of here.” you said, pulling yourself up from the chair. You reached out your hand. “I’ll take your cup.” you offered. He took one last, long sip before placing the cup in your hand, and getting himself up. You placed them gingerly in the sink, and the two of you left the kitchen. You walked in silence down the hallway, until you reached the point where you had to separate.

“Well, I need to get going.” you said. He didn’t say anything in response. You chewed your lip, unsure if you should say more, or just leave. Eventually, you placed your hand on his shoulder, giving him a weary smile.

“Get some rest, Levi.” you told him.

“Thank you for talking with me.”

“Of course.”

You began walking in the opposite direction, back to your room. As you pulled open the entrance to the next hallway, you shot a glance behind your shoulder. He was gone. You continued through the castle to your room. You closed your door delicately behind you, and just stood there for a moment. It was silent. Well, it always was, for the most part, aside from the slight ringing that existed in your ears, and the dull hum that you could sometimes pick up if someone spoke to you. But this felt different. A strange quietness overcame you, the world around you seemingly stagnant. It sent a strange prickling feeling that ran all the way up from your toes to the back of your neck and made you shudder.

You slowly walked over to your bed, and shimmied yourself into the covers. The tears you’d been holding in almost immediately came pouring down your cheeks. But these tears were different than the thousands you’d shed before. They weren’t tears of anger, or of guilt, all you felt was genuine sorrow. And it was the most painful thing you’d ever experienced. All of the emotion you’d repressed over the last year came spilling out all at once. You didn’t just cry for Isabel and Furlan, but for Marla as well. It was like she’d died all over again, but this time, you didn’t have any anger or resentment left to disguise it. You let out a torrent of choked sobs, and you shoved your messy face into your pillow, a vain attempt to contain it all. The heavy feeling in your chest felt like it would never go away, all you could do was cry.

Eventually, you stood up to grab some tissue to wipe the sticky snot and hot tears from your face. As you were about to get back in bed, tears already rolling down your cheeks, you gazed out into the dark night from your window. The sky was clear of clouds, the bright moon illuminating the night. Its soft light entered your room, giving everything a slight glow. Waning gibbous, you thought, as you stared out into the night. You reached over and opened the window, a cool breeze entered the room, and you leaned up against the window.

Rest well, you guys.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Levi walked down the empty corridors. He had been unsure whether to take her up on her offer, but he was glad that he had. It had given him something to think about, as opposed to just spending the rest of his evening in a lonely room, alone with his own thoughts. He’d learned more about her, too. When he reached the door that led to the exit, his hand hovered over the handle. Do I want to go back to my room yet? He slowly began walking back down the hall. He walked aimlessly around the castle, until he found himself in the same place he had the last time he’d done this, the stairway to the tower. He stared at the entrance, and took a slow step forward. Just as he was about to enter, he hesitated. Did he really want to go in there right now? Relive through the memories? But before he knew it, he was quickly walking up the narrow staircase, pushing the door open.

📷

The cool night air immediately hit his face. He slowly walked over to the wall, and perched himself on the edge. The sky was clear of clouds, unlike the last time he was here. The moon’s light shone brilliantly on him. He gazed up into the sky in wonder. The stars were more visible this time around, scattered about as if a large hand had carelessly tossed the sparkling lights into the dark sky.

Inevitably, the memory of them sitting by his side came to his mind. The way Isabel had nearly fallen off the wall after jumping from the excitement of seeing a constellation she recognized, the way it had nearly given Furlan a heart attack from the shock.

“You need to believe in us!”

Levi sighed, and pulled his head into the palms of his hands. A tear finally fell down his cheek.

I’m so sorry, you guys.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[vgckwb]

ML: Isolation Chapter 25: Truths at the Agreste Manor

When Marinette got home, she was greeted by her parents. “Hi sweetie,” her mom said.

“How was your day?” her father asked. Marinette looked up as she took her disguise off. She had a smile ear to ear. Her parents were surprised. “...Marinette…”

“Wh-What happened?” her mom asked.

Marinette started blushing. “Well...it’s, uh, sort of complicated…”

“Well, you can tell us,” Sabine said.

“Right, but, um, maybe we should do it upstairs,” Marinette said. Her parents looked at each other, nodded, and the three headed upstairs. They got seated on the couch, with Marinette in the middle. Marinette proceeded to explain the day’s events.

“So, um, yeah… I...I have a boyfriend now…” Before Marinette could awkwardly say anything else, her parents gave her a hug. It was tight, it was sudden, but most importantly, it was filled with love. Her parents stood by her in everything, but only now is she realizing how much that actually was to them. To see them so happy that she’s happier than she’s been in a long time, it made her feel even happier too. Marinette did the best she could to reciprocate the joint hug. “Thank you. For everything.”

Meanwhile, Adrien walked in the house. He was so excited. Despite all of the complications, Marinette was his girlfriend and he was over the moon. However, upon entering, he got a mysterious text from Nathalie. “Just go to your room. Go straight there. Don’t worry. I can handle it.”

He looked at his phone. “What?”

“Adrien!” his father called out. He, his mother, and Nathalie walked out to see him in the foyer. “Adrien,” his father continued. “You can settle this once and for all.”

Adrien was confused. “Settle what?”

“Adrien, don’t” Nathalie said.

“Oh come on,” Gabriel said. “He’s right here.”

“Well, it may be hard for him to say it,” Emilie explained. “You know how teenagers can be.”

“True,” Gabriel relented. “But you could see it too, right?”

“Of course sweetie,” Emilie agreed.

“See? I’m? What?” Adrien stammered.

“Please, just let it go,” Nathalie said, exacerbated. “All of you.’

“I don’t even know what’s going on,” Adrien said.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Very well. Last night at the auction, your mother and I noticed that you had a certain affinity toward that young woman you were hanging out with.”

Adrien was confused. “You mean Lila?”

“Yes,” Gabriel said. “We think you might have a thing for her.”

“We’ve been trying to set something up for the two of you,” Emilie added, “but Nathalie kept insisting we don’t.”

Adrien took a moment to process what was just said before he laughed. “No. Just no.”

Gabriel and Emile were confused. “See? You heard it from him. Now just drop it” Nathalie insisted.

“Hold on Adrien,” Gabriel said. “That was an awfully curt response. Would you care to explain?”

“Um, no?” Adrien replied. “Just know that I would never, NEVER, go out with Lila.”

“But you looked so cute together,” Emile explained. “And also, you looked like you had a real thing for her.”

“Well, I don’t…” Adrien answered.

Gabriel and Emilie gave each other a confused look. “Please,” Nathalie insisted. “You heard what Adrien had to say on the matter, now let it go.”

“Hold on,” Gabriel said. “Do...you not know how to interact with girls any other way?”

Adrien rolled his eyes. “Yes. I have NO idea how to interact with girls apart from flirting with them. That’s why I haven’t been able to maintain a close friendship with Chloe all these years. Oh wait.”

Gabriel slammed his fist on the railing. “Don’t get sarcastic with me, young man.”

“Well, maybe you should just listen to Nathalie then!” Adrien shot back.

Tensions between the Agreste men were high. “We just want to know what’s going on,” Emilie said in hopes of cooling things down.

“Well, tough,” Adrien said, shocking the both of them. “I’m starting to live my own life now. With my own actions, and my own interests, and my own secrets. I don’t need to tell you everything, especially since until recently, you knew everything because you forced that onto me.”

Emile’s face went pale. Gabriel’s also did, before it turned red with rage. Emilie noticed this. “Sweetie.”

“Adrien!” Gabriel shouted.

“Don’t!” Emilie insisted.

Gabriel calmed down, but was no less displeased. “Adrien. We’re your parents. You can trust us with anything.”

Adrien looked at his parents. They seemed confused and distressed; a feeling he spent most of his life feeling. “OK. But I don’t have to tell you anything.”

Emile was now shocked at him. “Adrien!”

“Like I said, I have my own life now” Adrien reiterated.”And I can choose what to tell you.”

“Adrien,” his father said again, still keeping calm. “We don’t keep anything from you. So please, be open with us.”

Adrien’s heart stopped when he heard those words. He started laughing maniacally. “Is that a joke? Are you trying to be funny? Because if you are, that’s hilarious.”

His parents looked at each other confused. “Adrien, what is the meaning of this?” Emilie asked.

Adrin snapped. “WHY DID YOU KEEP ME HERE FOR SO LONG?!” he shouted. “WHY WAS I LOCKED AWAY WHEN ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS ROAM FREE?! Not even free free. I’d have gladly taken you guys tagging along everywhere compared to the NIGHTMARE I was living. I wouldn’t wish upon the most heinous forces on this EARTH the treatment my own parents gave to me!”

Adrien started to breathe heavily. This was supposed to be the happiest day of his life so far, but now he’s opening up to his parents about how he feels in, to put it mildly, not the healthiest way. “So, forgive me if I don’t want to open up to you about certain things.”

His parents were pale. They had just received a shocking talking to from their son. Both of them were shaking. Gabriel seemed very tense. Before he could yell though, Nathalie stepped in. “HE DOESN’T REMEMBER!” Everyone looked at her. “He was two, he was sleeping for most of it, he doesn’t remember.”

The weight of that fell on the Agreste parents’s shoulders, as they finally began to understand Adrien’s earlier outburst, and previous attempts to escape. “You...really don’t know, do you?” Gabriel asked. Adrien seemed confused again. “Very well. To the family room.”

Emilie was surprised. “Are you sure?”

Gabriel smiled. “Positive.” Gabriel walked over, with everyone else following. Once they entered, Gabriel instructed “Sit.” They both did. Emilie was trembling, which further confused Adrien.

Meanwhile, his father opened a cabinet and pulled out an old new paper. He sat down with them and shared the paper with Adrien. Adrien couldn’t believe his eyes. “‘Fashion Designer and Actress’s Son Kidnapped’?” Adrien was in complete disbelief when he saw a picture of himself when he was a toddler.

“Yes,” Gabriel explained. “One day, we were at the park. You were playing with some of the other children. When our eyes lost you, we couldn’t find you again.”

“It was scary,” Emilie continued. “I mean, our only child was missing. We’d only been parents for as long as you were alive, so we had no idea what to do.”

“We looked for you everywhere” Gabriel said “We spent the next two hours looking through the park for you. We searched everywhere, we asked everyone, we called the police, everything.”

“And then…” Emilie said, tightly gripping her dress, “...we got a call.”

Adrien was stunned. Gabriel continued. “A group of people had drugged you and taken you. They gave us 48 hours to give them 70 million Euros.”

“I was just about ready to empty my bank account” Emilie said, tears starting to stream down her face.

“We explained as much to the police” Gabriel said, also starting to cry. “I mean, our only son was just taken from us because of our wealth. How could anyone not?”

Emilie sniffed. “But before we were able, the police found you.” She smiled, but was still crying. “We were so relieved.”

“But while that nightmare was over, another nightmare began,” Gabriel explained.

“We were so scared of losing you again,” Emilie said. “We couldn’t think straight.”

“We panicked. We lashed out at others,” Gabriel said. “We were so paranoid that we could hardly sleep or focus on anything. Eventually, we decided to see a therapist.”

“Through our talks, we became more well-adjusted, but we were still afraid,” Emilie informed him. “That’s when we made the decision to shelter you.”

“Every so often, we discussed lifting such restrictions,” Gabriel added. “We knew you wanted to, but we were never ready until recently.”

“The thought of losing you was just…” Emilie said. She couldn’t finish the thought.

Adrien finally heard the answer to the biggest question of his life. His parents, to quell their demons, sheltered him. Adrien was breathing heavily. “I...I had no idea…”

“I thought you understood it, son,” Gabriel said.

“It was part of our daily life for years on end,” Emilie said. “I didn’t realize you lived unaware.”

Adrien was upset. At whom? It was complicated. He was upset at himself for resenting his parents while not understanding them, he was upset at his parents for pushing their demons onto him, and he was upset at the world for allowing this to happen in the first place. “I’m sorry,” he said. “For screaming at you.”

Gabriel smiled. “It’s fine. I get it.”

“Yeah” Emilie said, swooping in for a hug. “It’s OK now.”

Adrien smiled. “Thanks.” Gabriel joined the hug. At this moment, after years of panic and paranoia on Gabriel and Emilie’s part, and disappointment and resentment on Adrien’s, peace had finally been restored to the Agreste household.

Once the hug was over, Gabriel asked “So...now that that’s...been aired out...what IS the deal with you and that Lila girl…?”

Adrien was a bit embarrassed, but had a clear answer. “Well, to be honest, it’s not exactly my secret to tell. But if you hold on a second, I can see if I could be able to tell you.”

“Very well,” Gabriel said.

“We trust you, 100%” Emilie reassured. Adrien smiled, nodded, and went to his room.

He logged onto his computer and called you Marinette. “Hello?” she said.

“Hey” he said. There was a bit of silence. “Sorry, I was trying to think of a good pet name, but I’m a bit distracted.”

Marinette smiled. “It’s OK. I still love you. So, what’s up?”

“Well…” Adrien said. “Things got very intense.”

“Oh” Marinette said. “Did you tell them about us? Do they not approve? Oh goodness, of COURSE Gabriel would never approve.”

“No no,” Adrien interrupted. He did giggle at that notion though, as he needed a bit of levity like this after what just happened. He sighed. “So, during the Louvre mission, my parents were under the impression that I had a thing for Lila.”

Marinette was surprised. “Oh.”

“I didn’t want to say anything, because, well, I don’t know how much they would, you know, like me doing all of this” Adrien continued. “It spiraled out of control, and I ended up yelling at them about how I always felt like I was a prisoner in this place.”

“What happened?” Marinette asked.

“Before my father could say anything, Nathalie interrupted and informed him and my mother that I don’t know why they did such a thing” Adrien answered. “So they sat me down and opened up about how when I was two, I was kidnapped for ransom.”

“WHAT?!” Marinette said equally as shocked as he was.

“Yeah…” Adrien said. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think they should have, I just...understand it…”

Marinette looked down. “I’m...sorry..”

Adrien was puzzled. “You don’t need to apologize. I mean, I assume you were two as well, and you didn’t know my parents to ask them not to.”

Marinette chuckled slightly. “No, it’s not that. I’m just thinking. Your parents were at their wit’s end, and that pushed them to an extreme reaction. Well, that’s kind of what I did too. Lila pushed me so far that I felt like I had no choice but to never be seen again. So, I get it.”

Adrien smiled. “It’s OK. I don’t blame you for that either.”

Marinette laughed back. “Thanks.”

Adrien laughed as well. “So, now, I’m wondering, would it be OK to tell my parents about you, and I, and, well, us?”

Marinette blushed. “I think that’s fine. In fact...why don’t you give me a call, and we can do it together.”

Adrien smiled and blush. “I’d like that. See you soon then, I guess.”

“Oh right. We have to leave this” Marinette said. “Yeah.” They smiled for a few seconds longer and logged out at the same time.

Adrien took a deep breath, and walked out. As he was going to meet his parents, he gave Marinette a call. Once she popped up, he said “Missed you” which got a good chuckle out of Marinette. He then rejoined his parents in the family room. They looked at him intently. “Mother...father…” He held up the phone. “This is Marinette, my girlfriend.”

“Hi,” she said, embarrassed.

The Agreste parents looked at her intently, overcome with emotion. “Now, where to start…” Adrien wondered. His parents were confused.

“Well, maybe we should start with the fact that I’m Ladybug.”

“L-Ladybug?!” Gabriel said, worried. He covered his face.

“What are you doing honey?” Emilie asked.

“Well, it’s just,” Gabriel began, “one of the conditions for my deal with Ladybug is that we’d never meet.”

Marinette chuckled. “It’s fine Mr. Agreste. I’ll still work with you.”

Gabriel relaxed a little. “Oh. Thank you.” Emilie laughed a little too.

Adrien enjoyed the moment as well. “So, to explain how we got to this point…” Adrien and Marinette explained the entirety of the situation. Gabriel and Emilie listened as each detail came out, reacting to each piece with a disgust for Lila, a concern for Adrien, but mostly a happiness that they are working on this, and are doing well.

Once they wrapped up, Marinette said “I guess that was a lot.”

“Yeah,” Adrien said. “So, do you have any questions?”

Gabriel and Emilie tried thinking of some. “I...think I understand?” Gabriel said.

“I don’t know how I feel about some of this,” Emilie said, “but I get it. And even with that, I think it’s going well overall.”

“Of course it’s going well!” Gabriel said. “Our son has a girlfriend!”

“Oh, I’m absolutely ecstatic about that,” Emilie said.

Adrien and Marinette blushed. “So, you’re not mad?” Adrien asked.

“Of course not,” Gabriel said.

“While we would have liked you to have told us sooner, I...get why you wouldn’t…” Emilie explained.

Adrien smiled. “Thanks.”

“Marinette!” called Sabine from the other end. “Are you busy?”

“Moooom,” Marinette said.

“Oh, are you talking to Adrien?” Sabine asked. “Can I say hi?”

“Me too!” Tom said. “Just a second!”

“No!” marinette said. However, her denial was to no avail as within a few seconds, Sabine and Tom were looking in.

“Hi Adrie-” Sabine said. She stopped when she realized that she wasn’t in front of Adrien.

“Um, are you Marinette’s parents?” Gabriel asked.

“Um, yes…?” Tom answered.

“Oh, well we’re Adrien’s parents” Emilie said.

“Oh really?” Sabine said.

Emilie nodded. “Adrien and Marinette were just explaining everything to us.”

“Oh my” Sabine said.

“Rest assured, you have our support in all of this” Gabriel said. “I mean, anyone my son is going out with has to be a world class lady.”

“Oh, why thank you,” Tom said. “And likewise, anyone going out with Marinette must be a true gentleman.”

“Thank you,” Gabriel replied. Marinette and Adrien were thoroughly embarrassed.

“Oh, we really shouldn’t keep you,” Sabine said. “Why don’t we continue this another time?”

“I like that,” Emilie said. They exchanged information. “Talk to you later.”

“Bye!” Sabine said. Marinette’s parents left.

“Ugh…” Marinette groaned.

“Don't worry,” Gabriel said. “We really mean it. We’ll do whatever we can to help take down this Lila girl.”

Marinette was still embarrassed, but she told him “Thanks. Well, see you later, I guess.”

“Bye” Emilie gently cooed.

Adrien turned the phone to him. “See you later.” He hung up. Despite the surprise of Marinette’s parents, the conversation went considerably well.

However, that moment of peace was interrupted by Nathalie walking up to them. “So, do you have a good understanding of everything?” They all nodded. “Good. Then I am resigning as your secretary, effective immediately.”

“Nathalie?” Adrien said.

“What is the meaning of this?” Gabriel demanded.

“You can help Adrien now,” Nathalie said. Adrien noticed she was shaking. “My work here is over.” She walked toward the door but was stopped by the bodyguard. She looked up at him. “What?” He glared at her. “I know I promised, but…but…” The bodyguard opened his arms and Nathalie broke down. She collapsed into him, crying. “I’m sorry!”

The Agrestes were shocked by this display. The usually stoic Nathalie was a complete mess. “Is...everything alright?” Gabriel asked.

“NO!” Nathalie shouted. “I’m sorry!” The Agrestes were still puzzled. Once Nathalie got a hold of herself, she looked at the bodyguard and said “Thanks.” She then turned to the Agrestes, wiping her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ve said as much,” Adrien said.

“Right…” Nathalie said. There was a brief silence. Nathalie sighed. “I have to come clean. My last name isn’t Sancouer. It’s Fontaine.”

“Nathalie...Fontaine?” Gabriel said. He turned to Emilie. “Hey, didn’t we go to school with a-”

“Yes,” Nathalie said. “We are one in the same.”

Gabriel and Emilie’s faces went pale. “Oh” Gabriel said.

Adrien was still confused. “What does that mean?”

“Well, uh, hoo” Emilie said. “See, back in high school-”

“I’ll explain,” Nathalie said. “Back in high school, I was essentially like Lila.” Adrien was stunned. “I would lie and manipulate others to get what I wanted. And it would work...most of the time. The only thing I couldn’t get...was your father.”

This was a lot for Adrien. “Oh…”

“I tried and tried,” Nathalie explained. “But the harder I tried, the more in love your parents became. Soon, it all came crashing down on me.”

“I see…” Adrien said, still processing everything.

“Still, I wasn’t one to give up” Nathalie went on. “After high school, I changed myself a bit so that they wouldn’t recognize me, and I positioned myself to become Gabriel’s personal assistant to one day swoop in and take him away. I changed my name to reflect what you called me when you exposed me for who I really was.”

Adrien was wondering what she meant. “Heartless,” Gabriel said. “Sans-coeur.”

“Yes,” Nathalie said. “At first, even though it marked my defeat in high school, I wore it as a badge of honor. I felt like I didn’t need a heart if I could get what I wanted. But now, it’s a scar, forever reminding me of the person I was.”

The Agrestes were surprised. “What changed you?” Emilie asked.

Nathalie smiled. “The kidnapping of Adrien.” Adrien was stunned again. “Once I saw you two worry, and panic, and Adrien go missing, and return, and everything coming apart at the seams, but you two still were together in all of it, the pettiness just...melted away. Suddenly, it all felt real.

It stopped feeling like a game of chess I was trying to win, and it felt like I was stuck and everyone was moving on. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I wanted to run away then, but I felt like I couldn’t. I needed to repay you for everything I’ve done. So I decided to stay until my debt was repaid.”

“And you feel like that’s now?” Gabriel asked.

Nathalie nodded. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Nathalie tried leaving again, but was again blocked by the bodyguard. “What now?”

“Nathalie,” Gabriel called out. Nathalie turned to him. “I reject your resignation.”

Nathalie was confused. “What?”

“You heard me,” Gabriel said.

“Did you hear me?” Nathalie said. “I was your high school monster. I only came to this job to steal you.”

Gabriel smiled. “You must be more stuck than you realize” he said, surprising Nathalie. “High school was a long time ago. Any monster from then is nothing but a dust mite now. You seemed to have learned your lesson too. Besides, you’ve been very helpful, and I can safely say we all enjoy your company now. This new Nathalie is good.” Emilie nodded. Adrien nodded as well.

Nathalie was stunned. She looked at this smiling family accepting her for who she is and forgiving her. “Heh. Heh heh” she started crying again and collapsed to the floor. “Thank you. Thank you.”

Once Nathalie had composed herself, it was getting late. Nathalie shook hands with Gabriel, affirming her not resigning, and after that she and the bodyguard left for the night, as the Agreste’s decided to retire to their rooms.

Adrien tried calling Marinette again, but she didn’t answer. “Hm. Must be asleep. Oh well.” He smiled, set his phone down, and got under the covers. He smiled and he started dozing off with Marinette on his mind. Despite everything, this was the day Marinette and him started dating, and for him, that made today good.

[samwinchestershotgod]

only twenty minutes to sleep (but you dream of some epiphany)

(read on ao3?)

i need to stop writing samjess angst. but not today.

~

It’s been 8 hours and 48 minutes since Jessica Moore died. Dean knows because he’s been counting. Sam knows because he just does.

The police think Sam did it, he guesses. Honestly, they’re right. Kinda. They’re at least right to give him skeptical looks when they ask Was there anything strange or out of place? Was your relationship going well? Was there any trouble in paradise? and Sam’s answer is always short and simple, not because he’s guilty but because he knows what really killed her and they don’t. They’ll take care of informing the family, they said. Unless you feel like you should, they said.

Eventually Dean intervenes and “politely” tells the cops to back off, that Sam isn’t doing well, that his girl just died and can’t you tell he’s not doing alright? Lay off, Officer. Sam doesn’t have it in him to apologize on Dean’s behalf, mostly because he doesn’t feel like talking. Honestly, he just wants to sleep.

The shitty motel Dean picks out is fine. It’s about a mile or two from the Stanford campus, with pale, puke green walls and sheets. Dean doesn’t look him in the eye once as Sam throws his bag of whatever didn’t burn to ash onto the bed. He’s got a few disposable cameras, from parties and such, the stupid purple dog shirt Jess bought him as a joke (that was saved from the fire from being thrown under the bed), and he’s got a few other useless odds and ends. None of them matter to him right now. Dean doesn’t look him in the eye when Sam sits on the edge of the bed in silence, looking straight at nothing. He wishes it was his bed, his and Jess’, the uncomfortable full size bed that creaked and made his back hurt every morning.

“Sam,” Dean calls quietly. “Sammy.”

“Yeah?” he says, feeling quite small.

“We can figure this out, you know,” Dean tries, because Dean always tries. “You know we will.”

He doesn’t. He can’t think of any way to fix this. The only thing on his mind is her face, and she really was so pretty, but she burned and it’s Sam’s fault. He ran to California to get away from the monsters and somehow they followed him. He should have known, with the nightmares and the shadows in the corner of his eyes, he should have just known.

“--and we’ll find Dad, and the bitch who killed our mom and your girlfriend, and we’ll be okay, okay?” It occurs to him that Dean’s been talking to him for the last couple minutes, but he was too busy swimming in his guilt to notice. “What do you need? I can grab us some grub, if you want.”

Sam’s stomach lurched. “No thanks. I think...I just wanna sleep.”

“Alright,” his brother says softly, his eyes watering just a bit. It’s not until later that Sam realizes Dean was crying for him and not for Jessica.

Sam doesn’t bother to get under the stained comforter. His body is running too hot. Instead, he curls up in the corner and puts his chin to his chest. His head swims with exhaustion, adrenaline, and grief, and before he knows it he drifts off into dreams and nightmares.

He’s always had nightmares, especially after hunts that left too many bruises, or when he was real young and Dean and Dad would come back a lot later than they said they would. He had them as a teenger, in class when he’d accidentally fall asleep and his AP English teacher would send him to the nurse to calm down. And he had them all the way at Stanford, too, even if they didn’t happen very often.

He remembers his nightmare from two days ago, an exact play by play of what had happened, and his stomach flips again. He swallows down tears and bile.

He forces himself to wake up before he falls into a dream. He doesn’t want to think about her right now, not if he doesn’t have to. He does this the whole night, or what must be night. He notes that Dean turns the TV on and off periodically. He probably is doing rounds watching Sam sleep. He doesn’t really mind. If he’s being honest, he was terrified. Winchester’s were supposed to greet death with a smile and a shotgun, but for the last two years, Sam wasn’t really a Winchester. He was just Sam. Now, he knows he’s going to be Sam Winchester again, and he’s terrified. So he really doesn’t mind his big brother watching over him for a night.

When he wakes up, or, rather, opens his eyes for the first time, he’s freezing. His eyes find the little alarm clock that reads 4:32am. Dean’s (Dad’s) leather jacket is thrown over him haphazardly, but he still can’t shake the cold as he lazily sits up. His eyes feel swollen, and he can only guess he’s been crying throughout the night. Sam cries a lot more than he would care to admit. When you’ve repressed any mildly unmasculine feeling since you were two, those feelings tend to build up, and now it felt as if they were all spilling out from his eyes and nose. Feelings about his negligent father, a man only Dean could really read. John could blame it on protecting Sam all he wants, but it doesn’t make him feel any better. Or feelings about his heavenly mother, only a picture and a memory that he doesn’t even have. That isolating feeling that came with being the only one in his family who didn’t know her. And now he’s got all these feelings about his dead girlfriend (fiance, would have been fiance, he was about to buy the ring next week, he would have proposed on Christmas), and he wishes he could shut him heart right up and sink into the ground.

He does to some sort of sinking, because when he walks into the bathroom, his legs give out and suddenly he’s leaning against the cold tile wall, staring blankly at its purtrid green color. He doesn’t know how long he stays there, but eventually his body gets used to the cold tile, and he refuses to get up. He doesn’t cry. Not that he doesn’t want to, infact, he wishes he would, just to get it over with. But he can’t. He can’t.

“Sam?” Dean returns from wherever he was. Sam can hear his boots against the floor, but he still doesn’t move. “Sammy?” When he doesn’t respond, the boots quicken and he can hear Dean breathing sharply.

Dean opens the bathroom door quite violently, and Sam knows he probably scared him. Dean takes a long breath of relief when he sees his little brother curled into the corner of the bathroom.

Sam takes a minute, but when he finally looks up at Dean, Dean’s staring at him with his sad green eyes, mom’s eyes, and Sam can feel himself start to crumble.

“I don’t know what to do, Dean,” he whispers, his voice scratchy. He feels very small.

Dean slides down the wall next to him silently. They sit there for a moment, but the silence is overwhelming, and Sam can feel those feelings clime up into his throat. He takes once breath in, and when he lets go, so does everything else.

Dean holds him against the wall. He places sam's head on his shoulder and holds him in his arms, and they will never talk about this again. In an hour, they'll pretend this didn't happen.

But for now, Dean holds Sam, like he did when they were five and nine, like he did when they were ten and fourteen, like he did when Dad was too drunk or when the monster were too terrifying. Sam lets himself be held by his big brother as he finally, truly, cries for his lost love.

And for his lost childhood.

[purplesurveys]

1243

What happened last night? I passed out at like 10 PM lol. It was a draining work week and I also had so. much. food. for dinner that the only reasonable thing to do after was sleep.

Who is the last boy you hugged? I’m not sure...maybe Hans? I most likely just put an arm over his shoulders though, as opposed to a full bear hug.

What was the last thing you thought? Tried to remember what happened last night so I can answer the first question.

What are you thinking about right now? That I should clean my glasses because all I see are smudges lol, but I can’t seem to find the cleaning cloth for it at the moment.

Would you have sex with the last person you sent a message to? No, plus she has a girlfriend so that would just be a very messy situation.

Would you consider yourself spoiled? In terms of me and my siblings yeah, I was probably the most spoiled. My parents allowed for it as long as I was giving them good grades, but they also knew when to be practical and call me out if I was starting to show brattiness.

What was the last text you sent? I was just asking Kata if she would be able to present for one of our client meetings or if she needed me to take over the meeting for her, since her internet was being unstable.

Do you break things when you are mad? I hurl things but always make sure they land on something soft lol.

If you could run away to any place, where would you go? Some remote island in like Siargao or Palawan where I can have the sea to myself for a couple of days.

Whose hoodie did you last wear besides your own? I don’t really like wearing other people’s clothes.

Did something happen today that made you angry? Hmm, none yet so far.

What did you do today? So far I’ve just done my homework, made a Powerpoint, and attended my Korean lessons. I’m actually learning a lot and it’s so fun! The two-hour session doesn’t feel like two hours at all.

What did you do Friday night? Last night I had jjajangmyeon, tangsuyuk, and a big-ass corndog because I deserveddd a feast after the long work week lol. I tried to stay up and watch Run BTS too, but I was just so exhausted so I allowed myself to sleep early.

Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to? We’re not the best of friends and I haven’t even met her in real life yet, but Kata and I have built a solid enough relationship in that I would be sad if she resigned or if I suddenly didn’t have to work with her anymore.

Are you lying to yourself about something? Possibly. Idk, I don’t really get introspective all that often.

Is your bed comfortable? I mean it’s comfortable but recently I’ve been thinking about just replacing it with an L-shaped sofa since I find couches infinitely more comfortable. They’re big space savers too...so we’ll see, hahaha.

Does it take a lot to make you happy? Nooooooo I smile easily at a lot of things.

Your best friend says to you now, “lets go to a party and get trashed!”? I will probably reply with a snarky-ish but still lighthearted comment on how she seems to think there is no pandemic around, and politely decline.

Who knows mainly all of your secrets? Angela. And I guess Gabie, too. Can you go a day without thinking about the person that’s on your mind now? I’m not thinking of anyone.

What were you doing at 1 in the morning? Passed out.

If someone looked ON your bed, what would they find? The workbooks for my Korean lessons, my notebook, pillows, hoodie, phone, tumbler, and Tata plushies. It’s a bit crowded there right now hahaha.

Were you single over last summer? Summer of 2020? Nope but it had also been a quickly deteriorating relationship by that point.

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? I don’t think so.

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? I don’t think I’ve ever gone that far. Maybe 30, 32-ish hours but not two days straight.

How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? Three - my grandpa (when he died), Nacho (when he died), and my dad (whenever we had to drop him off at the airport).

When you think of the rainbow, what pops in your head? Either Pride or J-Hope.

Is the person you last texted single? She is in a relationship.

Was last night terrible? No, just terribly uneventful.

Do you consider yourself lucky? In some ways, yeah. It’s things like being lucky to have a roof above my head, to have a full-time job during a pandemic, to have a constantly-stocked pantry, etc. I don’t really like using the term ‘lucky,’ though.

Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization? Cleanliness not so much, but I am a control freak about keeping things organized, yup.

Are you wasting time on the person you like? I’m not into anyone.

[blue-eyed-korra]

Lauren and Kieran’s Relationship: Action not Words

*Mini rant before the actual post:

So apparently someone shared my post about Kieran to the Purple Hyacinth group on Band (shoutout to @lanxyuu​​ for showing me this) and a bunch of people there liked it including Sophism herself which is crazy because this comic has become my life??? And the work she and Eph do is amazing??? And she said she liked my brain!?!?!? AHHHHHHH- sorry I’m still shook but I honestly can’t believe that she actually liked my work just... AHHHHHHHH!

*Mini rant ended here*

Anyways, seeing as how I’m currently a broke, unemployed, soon-to-be-grad student under quarantine, I have no coins to fastpass the last episodes of PH. Believe me it is the greatest tragedy of my life. But I still wanna write more about PH so what should I do? Well I decided to write about how we can learn more about Lauren and Kieran’s relationship through their non-verbal interactions. By looking at how they act around each other rather than just what they say, we can get a better sense for what their relationship was like before episode 43, and where it may go from there. Now I’m not gonna talk about every single time they interact with each other because some are irrelevant, it would take way too long to write and this post would become even more of a mess than it already is. 

Now you might be thinking this is just an excuse to discuss one of my favourite ships because their relationship in the comic isn’t the greatest rn and I don’t want to/can’t accept that they may not get together (in the foreseeable future), and you’d be right. Let me have this. 

Ok so the first scene I wanna talk about is the very first physical interaction they have where they’re not actively attacking/trying to kill each other. I’m talking of course about when they make the deal to work together in episode 11.

What I like about this is that it’s both impersonal and intimate, because they’re both doing this for their own reasons and they both see the other as a means to an end, but it’s also a blood pact. Kieran cuts his hand and offers it to her, and Lauren accepts in kind. They’re becoming bound to each other, but all in the common interest to take down the Leader.

The same can also be said for when they go dancing; it’s just an act. A way to blend in and find Anslow. They tango and banter and get all close and we all lived for it (hell I’m still living for it), because it’s hot and the sexual tension is insane but to them it’s just apart of the operation and doesn’t really mean anything. Like when she later seduces Anslow to get him alone. It’s all a part of the plan

I’d say the moment we see the biggest shift is after the whole Blakelsey situation. They’re back at the cave and Lauren is pretty shook because not only did Kieran save her life, but he showed her that he really does try to avoid killing when given the choice. So when she sees he’s injured and struggling with his bandages, she goes to help him.

Sidenote: This is completely unrelated to anything in this post but I just wanted to say that I never realised how attractive a back could be until I saw Kieran’s so thank you Soph for giving this to us🙏🏻

You can see this is part of her way of thanking him for saving her before she actually tells him. You can see that she’s beginning to reevaluate the idea of him that she has in her head, because his actions that night contradict everything she assumed about him. This is the moment she begins to see his humanity. And he’s pretty shocked too because he’s accustomed to doing everything alone and her of all people offering her help and thanks is wild to him, but more about how Kieran feels later.

Things change the most for Lauren after the whole Grim Goblin incident. She’s jumped out of a hotel window, into a tree and fell several storeys to the ground. Kieran finds her injured and trying to play it off as nothing because 1) She’s a strong, independent woman who don’t need no man, and 2) Because she’d rather not get the help of this man in particular. But he calls bullshit and scoops her up bridal style. Again, she’s shook because the Purple Hyacinth is carrying her bridal style, but it wears off quickly and she begins struggling out of his grip. The piggyback is clearly a compromise where he can still carry her but it’s less intimate and, dare I say, ‘damsel-like’ than before. I also think Lauren was ok with the piggyback because it made her taller than Kieran and therefore more in control lol.

Then they get to his apartment and she one again tries to brush off her injuries but the the turn tables and Kieran is the one helping patch her up. He picks her up, puts her on the table and rips her sleeve off to get a better look at her cut.

One thing I wanna point out is her reaction to him being so close.

She’s clenching her fist on the edge of the table because he is way into her personal space. You can practically feel his breath on her neck. He’s being very clinical about everything and probably can’t feel her discomfort, but we as readers can feel just how uncomfortable and anxious she is. This man just carried her to his home and is checking her wounds and is gonna patch her up and it’s breaking every preconceived notion she had of him in her head. He’s not some murderous monster *wink wink* whose sole purpose is to spread misery and pain. He’s just a man who lives in an apartment and likes to read and draw and eats and breaths just like any other person. Logically, she knows that he’s a human, but actually seeing it is another thing entirely. And her realizing this now only makes everything that goes down in episode 43 hurt that much more.

I realize that most of this word vomit essay is about how Lauren feels, but what about Kieran? What can we lean about how he feels about Lauren? Well, that’s gonna be a bit trickier. For one thing, Lauren is the main character, therefore we spend way more time in head than his by a long shot. We know less about his motivations and personality than we do about hers. All of this contributes to the mystery that is Kieran White. But there are moments we can learn things about him, especially when his true feelings shine through.

One thing that demonstrates this a lot is when Lauren surprises him. There are times when Lauren says or does something and for just a second, it throws Kieran off and has him really think about the mystery that is Lauren Sinclair.

We see this happen a few times: First when they’re preparing to go get Anslow and he sees her disguise and the gun strapped to her thigh, Next when she’s thanking him for saving her life and finally when he sees her the morning after she sleeps over.

With the first one he’s more pleasantly surprised than anything, seeing officer goodie-twoshoes being this resourceful and sneaky. He expected her to be more of a straight-lace killjoy, but now he’s seeing more of her ‘bad girl’ side and it’s interesting.

He’s more shocked than surprised when she thanks him for saving her. Like I said before, he’s an assassin. When do you think the last time he was thanked for saving a life rather than taking one? Probably never honestly. And now this woman, who he knows doesn’t like him very much, is helping him with his bandages and offering him gratitude and he’s kind of in awe of it all. Of course we see him try to brush it off by being a jackass (and we love him for it) but still, I see you Kieran👀.

I think the final scene is the most interesting tho. Because he comes back from getting her stuff at the cave and just sees her standing there. She doesn’t do anything or say anything out of the ordinary. She’s just standing there... in one of his shirts and basically nothing else... in his apartment... the morning after sleeping in his bed. 

He was confused as to why he brought her there the night before and he’s never brought anyone to his home before, so I think seeing her like this, all casual in his space despite everything, is really driving home just how close they’ve become and how he hasn’t had anything remotely close to a friend or companion or whatever they are in years.

But once again, this was all before episode 43, which still hurts my soul. I know things are gonna be different after everything, but I hope that Lauren and Kieran are able to express themselves more with each other as the story continues.

So yeah, this is a mess. If you’ve made it this far, congrats! Now this post was more of a labour of love than I initially thought because it took literally a whole day to write and then got deleted the next day! So this is the rewrite. Lowkey happy it got deleted because this is far less rambling than before. Take a moment to let that sink in. As I’m writing this episode 48 is only a couple hours from being made free for everyone. Watch me come back on here and post another essay about it lol. Looking forward to doing more of these though! Thanks for all the feedback and remember to send the creators some love!

[ackerslut]

Hey!! Could you write something shippy about Boimler and Mariner? What if Boimler regularly spent time in the holodeck acting out certain scenarios and situations with Mariner? 👀

A/N: This was way angstier than I meant it to be. And way less sexier. I apologize in advance.

ao3

She glares at him, mouth pressed into a thin line. “What happened to having each other’s backs? I put my ass on the line for you. Repeatedly.”

He winces. This conversation is not going how he’d planned. “Mariner, I-”

Mariner clenches her fists and straightens. “No, you don’t get to say anything after what you pulled. Fuck you.”

The image freezes and Boimler resets the simulation.

What seems like years ago, he remembers lecturing Tendi overusing the Holodecks for fun. The details are fuzzy. It was before the “GUYS I MADE US INTO A MOVIE'' incident with Mariner, but after that weirdass thing with Rutherford and his rogue program. He thinks she and Mariner had been using it to watch Ransom in an array of—what he now admits-hysterical situations—but can’t be sure.

She and Mariner have gotten up to so much shit, he can’t keep track.

He doesn’t know why he’s remembering it now. It was a random conversation that happened a long time ago—a few months after Tendi was assigned to the Cerritos? –so there’s no reason why he should be thinking about it right now.

Liar, a smug voice intones in his head. It sounds vaguely like Mariner. Boimler aggressively shoves it down.

This isn’t for fun, he anxiously tells the voice in his head. The voice is quiet. It does nothing to soothe the turning of his stomach.

It’s been three months since Boimler requested a transfer back to the Cerritos. Three months since he’d run into Rutherford and Tendi on shore leave and the three of them got swept up into a ridiculous, interplanetary civil war that took three different starship crews to settle out. Three months since he’d almost died more times than he can count on all his fingers and toes, three months since he thought Tendi had died, miles away from her home, on a world which would never remember her name, three months since Mariner swept in and fixed everything.

It’s been three months.

Not that he’s counting.

Somewhere between being in a remote alien prison with Tendi and hiking for a month in a perpetually dark wilderness with Rutherford, Boimler had come to the belated conclusion that his career didn’t take precedence over his friends.

(Also, if he’s being completely honest, he missed the chaos of being a lower deck ensign. Not that he still doesn’t want to be in the upper ranks. Just not without his dumb, dumb friends.)

After it was all over—and he’d realized that Tendi was alive—he put in his transfer request, surprising all his peers.

“This just isn’t a good fit for me,” was his official statement.

Captain Riker gave him a bland look. “You worked with Beckett, didn’t you.” His voice was flat, but his eyes were amused.

“Is it that obvious?”

“She rubs off on people. Don’t let her give you a hard time,” he added, signing off on the request. “It was nice working with you, Boimler. If you ever need anything, let me know.”

And so here he is, a newly minted ensign again, on the lower decks of the Cerritos.

(Captain Freeman is thrilled. “All operations have been down by 18% since you left. Good to have you back, Boimler.”)

Tendi and Rutherford seem hyped to have him back-Tendi especially, who’s been a little clingy with everyone since her near-death experience-but are acting uncharacteristically nervous around him. This isn’t a surprise. The tension between him and Mariner when she’d shown up on Roxadt II was insane and was only getting worse with every day. It’s been six weeks since he’d transferred, and she’s found a reason to be in a different room for all six of them.

Hence the simulations.

That makes absolutely no fucking sense, the Mariner-esque voice in his head sneers. Just talk to her you fucking wimp.

Boimler ignores it.

“Scenario A-187,” the clinical voice of the simulation intones. The simulation restarts.

It goes exactly the same way 186 other scenarios had gone. He corners Mariner. She stays quiet. He apologizes. She explodes.

Mariner’s anger had always burnt red hot. He’d first experienced it when an ensign got a little frisky with Tendi after she’d repeatedly told him no. Mariner’s fury at the situation felt justified. Vindicated. The ensign had been demoted so hard, Boimler was certain they’d seen the last of him for like. Well, forever.  At the time he’d been astonished that she’d managed to pull it off, but after finding out about her familial connection to the Captain, it made sense.

He’d seen a glimpse of that anger a few more times—when Captain Freeman had forced her to go to therapy, after Rutherford had been captured by rogue Klingons, that one-time Ransom tried to promote her.  But never toward Boimler.

Oh, she’d get irritated with him.  “Loosen up, Boimler, it’s not that bad.”

“Look, the worst that’ll happen is that we get a note to file-stop yelling!”

“Dude if you don’t chill the fuck out I might actually throw you out of an airlock.”

Standard Mariner reactions, right? Yeah, she’d been pretty pissed when he took the promotion (his voicemail had been blowing up for the first 48 hours after he transferred), but it had died down fairly quickly so he had logically assumed that she had gotten over it.

He assumed wrong. If her icing him out was to be taken into account. So here he was, six weeks in, desperate and stressed from his friend’s apparent dismissal. The obvious solution, his sleep deprived brain decided, was to simulate a conversation with her using his high-tech program on the holodeck.

This may have not been the best idea. But he’s calculated the probability of anything going wrong and it’s under 3%, so he’s almost guaranteed success.

(So, of course, it blows up in his face, in true Boimler fashion.)

“Okay, I have a pretty high threshold for weird, but this might take the cake,” a voice slowly says.

Boimler startles. Whirls around. Shuts down the simulation. “Ohhh shit-”

“Yeah shit,” Mariner says, stalking into the room. “What the hell, dude?”

“This isn’t what it looks like!” Boimler sputters out, panicked. The simulation is shut down, leaving them in the empty holodeck room, but the echoes of Holo-Mariner’s rage still resonate between them. Actual Mariner is staring at him, face somewhere between completely shocked and furious.

“Did you use your dumbass hyper realistic program to simulate a situation with me so that you could cheat later?”

“I mean, kinda?”

“Then it’s exactly what it looks like!” Mariner slaps a palm over her eyes.

“Well what was I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know—maybe talk to me like a person? Not use your creepy, hyper realistic simulations to roleplay it?” She drops her hand and glares up at him.  

Boimler rolls his eyes. “You literally created a simulation to kill the entire crew because your mom made you go to therapy.”

“Yeah and it fucking worked.”

“Then why are you yelling at me?!”

“I’m not!”  she shrieks. “I’m very calmly telling you to fucking talk to me next time!”

“There’s not going to be a next time!”

Mariner stops, mouth open. “What?”

“Look, I get it. I fucked up and you apparently don’t do second chances! I was trying to make things right but clearly it isn’t working. I’ll stay out of your way now.”

Instead of pacifying her, this seems to make Mariner even more furious. “You fucking asshole. what am I supposed to say to that?” she shouts, stomping up to him.

He groans in exasperation. “Apparently nothing, considering you don’t want to talk to me!”

Her hands grab his collar, pulling him down to eye level with her. “I literally just said to talk to me next time!”

“And how was I supposed to do that if you’re avoiding me?”

“You’re the one who fucked off in the Titan to god-knows-where,” Mariner grits out.

So they’re actually doing this. Boimler swallows hard. Takes a breath. Tries to quell the anxiety welling in his gut. “I’m sorry.”

“Right after you said you didn’t care about rank or shit,” she adds, twisting the knife.

“Yeah. It was really shitty of me.”

“And then you ghosted me for like six months.”

Boimler winced. “Yeah—I. Yeah.”

Mariner’s iron grip on his shirt loosens, but she doesn’t let go completely. “That was really shitty of you.”

Not sure what to say, beyond apologizing again, Boimler gives a jerky nod.

“You came back.” She stares at him, eyes unfathomable. “The Titan wasn’t everything you dreamed it would be.”

It’s not a question.

Boimler still has an answer, though. “It was.”

She stiffens. He pushes forward, intent on getting this out while he still has her attention. “It was everything I wanted in a career. I was doing what I wanted, everyone took me seriously. Our missions came straight from the Admiralty and they treated us like we weren’t a joke. I loved it.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because I care more about my friends then I do about people taking me seriously.”

Mariner freezes and then lets out a strangled laugh. “Now I think you’re the simulation. Who are you and what have you done with Boimler?” She pokes at his cheek.

He grins. And then falters. “For what it’s worth—and I know it’s not worth much—but. I am sorry. I wasn’t a very good friend.”

“Yeah you weren’t.” She lets go of her grip on his shirt completely and draws back. “You said you were my best friend and then you left. For Riker.”

“That makes me sound like the love interest in a cheesy drama. And like I’m hooking up with Riker.”

“I said what I said.”

Boimler laughs. It feels real for the first time in a long while. “Are we good?”

“No.” Mariner smiles. “I’m going to give you so much shit and you’re gonna grovel for like months and then I’m going to tell my mom that you used to holodeck to simulate certain situations with me.”

“If you do that I’m transferring back,” Boimler tells her. “Your mom finally likes me; I don’t need her ejecting me out of an airlock.”

“She wouldn’t do that.” Mariner waves him off.

“She totally would.”

“Yeah, she totally would,” she agrees. Grabs his arm and begins dragging him out of the holodeck. “So maybe I won’t tell her. I am telling Tendi though and she’s gonna give you so much shit considering you reemed her out over misusing the holodeck.”

Boimler makes a face. “I’ll probably let her too. I’m such a hypocrite.”

“You are, but it’s super weird to hear you be honest about it. Stop being all apologetic, it’s weird.”

They’ve reached the corridor. Mariner steers them in the direction of the bar. “Only if you promise to deck me if I ever make a dumb decision like that again,” he says, giving in and allowing himself to be manhandled. It’s the least he owes her.

“Deal. And the next time you use your weird, hyper realistic simulator—which doesn’t even fucking work by the way, I’m not that much of a bitch—you gotta promise you’ll use it for sexy reason only.”

“Sexy reasons only,” Boimler deadpans. “You know they log everything we do down there.”

Mariner wiggles her eyebrows up and down. “I know.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“And you’re uptight, but you’re the one who was playing with simulations of me.”

“That sounds way worse than it actually is,” he cringes.

“No, it doesn’t. I would take some sexy action over your sad, sad trauma simulations any day. Next time I catch you, you’d better be having fun with it.”

“Mariner, what the fuck—”

They dissolve into good natured bickering. She says something lewd and he rolls his eyes and elbows her and she squawks in protest and threatens to get him thrown in the brig. It’s normal, but it’s also not. There’s something new in the air between them that wasn’t there before. Tension, but not negative. It’s charged with. Something else.

Boimler doesn’t examine it too closely. Better to let it work itself out naturally. After all, he has all the time in the world now.