#*we're* the gods and buddhas

[pomefioredove]

Saw you took specific requests. Here's mine:

Jamil with a religious reader who gives him a protection talisman.

Fun fact, prayer beads are used in multiple religions as they help count prayers (Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, etc).

So let's say reader comes from a world where magic exists but it's exclusively on religious grounds. Meaning if you wanna do magic you gotta pray to the right god or make a deal with some form of mythological creature.

Reader knows that Jamil's is always in danger due to the constant assassination attempts on Kalim, so they make a set of prayer beads and ask a diety to bless it in order to protect their boyfriend (could be Allah, Indra, Shiva, Buddha, Susanoo, whichever). Jamil accepts it and heads back home appreciating the sentiment but not really believing.

Except any form of danger keeps getting thwarted. Drink/food he's trying is poisoned? Conveniently spills over/has a whole in the bottom. Accident happens? Conveniently pushed out of the way. Someone tries to hurt him/kill him? Struck by lightning and straight up dies.

Not even his own parents are safe. They try to slap him to "discipline him" then they get zapped (lightly tho).

you know!!! I love this prompt so much... I'm a religious studies major so this kinda stuff is so ^w^ to me I get so excited.

summary: giving jamil a protection spell type of post: short fic characters: jamil additional info: reader is gender neutral, the existence of religious beliefs in twst is. confusing. so we're keeping it vague, not proofread, reader is yuu

Perhaps it was because your world was still considered "magicless" by Twisted Wonderland standards, or perhaps Jamil was never superstitious to begin with.

Either way, he wasn't exactly as excited as you'd been hoping for.

"It's nice. Did you make it yourself?" he asks, inspecting the beads. "A bracelet?"

"Prayer beads, actually. And yes, I did,"

"It's well made. What's the purpose?"

You hesitate. The nature of religion in this world is still confusing to you, although you can surmise there's got to be some kind of belief system. It's best not touching on for now.

Besides, Jamil has never been much of a believer in higher powers. For good reason.

"For protection," you explain. "Not that I think you can't handle yourself. But I worry about you over break, you know..."

He's quiet for a moment, inspecting the gift in the palm of his hand. And then he tucks the beads away in his pocket and smiles.

"I'll keep them with me, then. Thank you,"

Even if he's not exactly keen on the idea that these things will make his life any less terrible, they're from you.

And so he keeps his promise, and tucks them away after you part.

By the time he's "home" (back in Kalim's family home) he's all but forgotten about the little blessing at the bottom of his pocket. Not that you can really blame him- "vacation" is more of a title than a reality when he's back.

The first incident happens not even a day after.

The al-Asim summer mansion is certainly nothing to scoff at. Though it's only one of many, this one in particular houses a large sum of physical treasures, line with gold and ivory, stuffed full of spices and all the makings of a feast that could feed thousands, a shining jewel of the desert.

Jamil is not all that impressed.

Especially when it comes to navigating such an ornate building on orders. The polished-to-perfection floors present a challenge when you're carrying three crates worth of grain to the kitchen on the lowest floor.

Damn these stairs.

Though Jamil may not be a religious man, he still asks whatever deity may be up there to smite the slippery spiral staircase he's descending.

His arms strain to uphold the weight of the boxes, and his legs strain to keep a good footing on one of the many long and elaborate and narrow servant passages designed specifically so that the unwanted workers of the family can slip by undetected.

Quiet, diligent, and he has to be quick, too. Kalim is expecting him for a game in one of the many lounges soon.

Another unfortunate "vacation". How he'd much rather be spending it with you...

For a brief moment, Jamil swears he can feel the beads in his pocket warm against him, reminding him of their presence.

And then he slips.

The crates free themselves from his careful grasp and tumble down the stairs, creaking and thudding but mercifully staying intact.

Jamil, however, isn't made of wood. He winces as he feels himself tilting forward- and then... somehow, a strong draft pushes him on his back.

He lands just shy of his tailbone, luckily not hurting anything, except for his pride.

What a turn of luck.

The next happens at dinner.

Jamil keeps his earlier blunder to himself. His pride is damaged enough as it is, after all, and so he tries his best to conceal how shaken up the experience left him by moving swiftly across the kitchen.

"We have a dish ready for you to test," someone shouts.

He sighs. How many more evenings of this will he have to endure?

Though, he reminds himself- this may always be his last.

The thought makes Jamil chuckle as he's handed a hot dish and a clean fork. He can only stop to smell the roses for so long, so there's no chance of savoring such an exquisitely prepared meal before he's off to another part of the kitchen.

Just as the fork digs into the food, the dish slips out of his hand and shatters on the kitchen floor. Everyone falls silent.

His eyes widen. "How- ugh. My apologies,"

Now this is just getting ridiculous. How clumsy can he get in one evening? He's usually much more careful...

"Look," the head chef says, the whole kitchen crowding around the food as it dissolves.

Jamil's stomach lurches. Cyanide. It has to be. If he'd eaten that dish right there and then...

The kitchen is swiftly cleared out, and he's sent back to the lounge.

it only gets stranger from there.

What Jamil initially wrote off as clumsiness and luck seems to become a pattern-

a flying arrow at the archery range just narrowly misses him when he bends down to fix his sandal.

The al-Asim family tiger (because of course they have one) chooses to toy with a visiting prince rather than him in the courtyard.

A strong draft pushes him on his rear end seconds before a sandbag falls from an under-construction part of the mansion.

He would call it fortune if he believed in such a thing.

By the end of the vacation, everyone is absolutely perplexed by his string of good luck. Jamil isn't unfamiliar with how dangerous his family's position in life is, and he's had his fair share of injuries as a result, but this time all he has to show for it is a slightly lesser sense of annoyance than usual.

It's only the end of the trip where he ponders (unfortunately aloud) about the string of coincidences, and the beads in his pocket.

Kalim goes on to babble about Jamil's "good luck charm" to anyone who will listen, much to his annoyance.

"Oh, I want one too! Can you ask them to make me one, too?" he says, folding his hands in a pleading motion. "It's so pretty!"

"It was a gift. But... I suppose I can ask..." he sighs, and then smiles to himself.

Of course you'll come up with some excuse to say no. Because, for once, this charm is all his.

[swallowtail-lotus]

Special Treat {Buddha x reader} (NSFW)

Repost

Warning/s: Spicy, Oral (Female Receiving), overstimulation???

Before y'all comment, the reader consented before this happens!!

________

Your hands firmly gripped the sheets, your head hanging back from the pleasure applied to your entrance. Your eyes were filled with tears, slowly falling down from your face. A sudden shock made you jump a bit. A shaky gasp slipped past your lips. Buddha's grip on your thighs tightened, his tongue slowly lapping at your folds in a torturous matter.

Your eyes nearly rolled back when the tip of his tongue poked your entrance. You moved your hips slowly, your legs shaking from both the pain and pleasure.

"It's been over an hour, and he's still doing this! Will he ever get tired of this?!" You thought, snapping into reality when you felt a pair of fangs scrape your folds gently.

"Sorry. Couldn't resist." Your boyfriend said, licking his lips. He traced his tongue along your thighs, nibbling down on the soft flesh and leaving visible marks. You felt his tongue slide against your thighs, moving towards your entrance but only stopped when he just reached your folds. You hissed through your teeth from your neglected bud.

"B-Bastard!" You hissed, letting out a loud groan when his tongue flicked the bud gently.

"Lady (Y/n)? Are you alright?" One of the servants asked from outside your room. Your head snapped towards the door, covering your mouth with one hand.

"Y-yes! I am! A-am I needed-" You suddenly felt something enter you. You looked back, making eye contact with the god. Buddha stared back, his eyes filled with a desire you've never seen before. Buddha's tongue slowly slipped inside your walls. Your eyes gaze up at the ceiling, biting your bottom lip to prevent any sound from coming out.

"Yes. Lord Zeus asks for your presence." The servant answered. Your eyes widen when he starts to torment your core. Buddha dug his tongue deep inside you, suckling like he's dying of thirst. You knew he did that on purpose.

Despite this being his first time giving you head, he was doing amazing at sending you to euphoria. Your lower region began to convulse, a intense wave of heat overwhelming you. Your throat was starting to get sore from moaning and having to hold them back as best as you could.

"T-Tell Lord Zeus I can't- ah!" You were surprised you can somehow keep a conversation while you were given oral by the candy loving god.

Before you could finish your sentence, your walls clenched around Buddha's tongue. You thrusted your hips forward, feeling your orgasm getting closer.

"I will inform Lord Zeus at once." The servant's footsteps faded from your door. Before you can reach your climax, Buddha moved back, strings of your arousal connected to his tongue and lips. You dug your nails into the bed from the overwhelming sensation, waiting to be released. Buddha stands up, tracing his fingers along your wet folds.

"So wet. And you taste so sweet, too." Buddha teased, licking up your juices from his fingers.

"Dammit, let me cum! It's been four times! I need to cum! Please let me cum!" You begged, more tears coming out of your eyes. Buddha stared at your face, licking his lips.

Your flushed face, complete with your tongue hanging out and tears in your eyes. Seeing in such a vulnerable state was simply... Enticing.

You fell backwards, eyes fluttering and your vision blurry due to the tears. You heard some shifting but you were too blissed out and assumed he was done.

You tried to move but large hands kept you in place and spread your legs wider.

Buddha pressed his fully exposed erection to your aching core, his tip slightly brushing your puffy folds.

"We're not done yet~"

[luxthestrange]

RoR Incorrect quotes#169 He also likes girls-

When Adam Heard what the gods were trying to do to his children, He wanted to join Brunhilde's Rebellion in the fight...He was shocked when he found out it was actually Brunhilde AND You his daughter were in charge of it...So his shock seeing you...being overly friendly with

Buddha*With a hand on your shoulder*-Quite an impressive young lady, We're all very proud of her~

Adam*Seeing Red but smiles* Ahem, Y/n! Dear, eh eh, why don't you introduce me to your OTHER friends?~

Y/n: Oh, yes, of course! This is Brunhilde, she's my girlfriend!

Brun*Smiles holding your hand in hers*...

Adam*Eyes widen and hold his chest in relief* Oh my golly! You like girls? Yes!, so do I!!-*Looking at others and pointing at self and you* We have so much in common! You put her there Hilde!!! Hey! *hugs her tightly*Oh yeah. She's so pretty!~

Brun*Taken aback and breaths as the hug is a tad tight and chuckles nodding*Lovely to meet you, uh, sir!

I love her your honor-

[chaostroberry1]

Hey just tell us if you're uncomfortable writing the same character again cuz this is akward-😭 (I'M LAUGHINH SO HARD HELPP)

Erm so pookie.. a smut (optional) Beelzebub x Dom!M!Reader where we're basically the Arché Odin trying to revives but ended up falling in love with our little fly which leads to Odin's anger nah cus imagine sacrificing your whole life and preparing a massive Ragnarok against humanity just for the primordial God to be obsessed with your own new found enemy.

Imagine Adamas' and Buddha's face tho 👀

THERE'S JUST SO MANY PEOPLE ASKED FOR HIM— I'M SO SORRY TO BE ONE OF THEM, please ignore this if you're uncomfortable rllyy😭

I went on reddit to read all the theories about arché and damn that was fire. I like this idea a lot 😍 💕 I accept!

Beelzebub × Dom!male!primordial god! reader.

I researched abt the term 'arché' and abt Odin and why he trying to revive broski. So I'll use up all my knowledge on it since I read ROR with an empty head. 😭

The room was full of heavy pounding, cries and moans echoing throughout the huge space. It's been nearly three hours since you guys got into it.

"haaaa...lord (m/n)...." Whimpers came from the mouth of the god, his voice barely audible from the loudness of pounding. You've been switching him into different positions, one of which was a cowgirl position, the one you both are doing currently. His butthole was sucking your cock so greedily, and you he knew that he'd be left with a huge gape after all this was over.

His cries grew louder when you sped up, to a faster pace, having him squint his eyes in pleasure. Tears rolling down his cheeks when you continued to pound his virgin hole.

It's been so long, you don't know how long, but you knew that a lot of time has passed ever since you were dead long ago. But you had been resurrected by Odin, brought back to life, with the purpose of.....what was his purpose? What did he even want from you? Well, you didn't really care. He can't lay a finger on you now.

Odin had expected you to listen to him when he finished ragnarok. But, you suddenly woke up, way too soon. This led to you walking out, and ready to kill. You defied orders, you were not something to be fucked with. That's for sure.

Anyone who entered within your aura's range would feel your sense of authority. Making them know to keep quiet when passing your way, not really like they live long enough to pass by you anyway. But you found out about a certain fighter named Beelzebub, who's match caught your eye. He was powerful, yes, but you were oddly attracted to him.

You? A primordial god. A primordial GOD. Falling for a lower being? Disgusting, that's what others would say. But who were they to tell you what to do? They weren't on your rank. They can't even open their mouth in your presence.

You approached Beelzebub when he was treating his wounds, eyeing him like prey.

"lord of the flies.... Beelzebub, yes?" He looked at you with suspicion, replying harshly. "Who are you?"

He thought you were just someone who wanted to mess with him. Possibly calling him names, or giving sly remarks to get him riled up. But no, you were different.

"that is no way to talk to someone. don't you think? You should be lowering your head in my presence."

He scoffed in annoyance, who was this jerk? Why were you talking to him like that, even after knowing who he was? His thoughts were immediately interrupted when you spoke again.

"it seems you aren't aware of who I am. Lord (m/n). The one and only arché."

Your statement caught him off guard, his heart sinking. There's no way. There couldn't be a way that you were revived so soon—there was still so much time left.

A primordial god was standing right before his very eyes. Staring at him with longing.

"what...? You were already.. resurrected?"

"that's right, pretty insect. Like I said, the one and only."

You must've have been bluffing. There's no way. Did Buddha know about this too? Or was he the first one you approached. His face remained calm when you talk about how much you took an interest in him, an dhow you loved his fight with Nikola Tesla. His head was a mess right now for you to be talking to him like this.

That was until you scratched the bottom of his chin, like he was some stray cat. And he couldn't do anything, because he knew that something bad would happen if he were to defy a being with such divine status. More diving than any god at that.

"say...are you free later? No. I'll just get to the point. I wanna take you as my spouse...you are so beautiful."

He stayed quiet when you held his hand and dragged him around the place, like a child with it's new doll. You were used to acting neutral towards matters, but when it came to wanting something...you couldn't help but overdo yourself. You have destroyed everything on your path when what you wanted wasn't given to you. That's why you were so used to all the good treatment from those afraid to rebel against you. Even the gods were afraid, and knew that you were a threat to them if they ever angered you. Which is why you lived in peace. Before you rested for a long time, soon awakened by Odin.

You brought Beelzebub to some place you deemed fitted for your activities. It was okay if it was outdoors, it's not really like anyone would dare interrupt your session together. Even if they tried, they wouldn't wake up to see another day.

Adamas was walking around, his usual expression on his face before he saw you dragging Beelzebub around. He wanted to call after the lord of the flies, before a sudden dread shook him to his core. The aura that came from you was deadly, and stepping inside it made him feel like at any moment, his head would be cut off. He stayed silent when he saw your eyes narrow, piercing into his own as if it was a good enough warning for him not to interfere.

You loved to bother Beelzebub, it was so fun, there was no point denying it. And he just sits there and takes it so good. You didn't take it to 2/3rd base just yet though. You knew better than that. But you were going to get to it at some point with him.

Imagine how flabbergasted adamas would look when he saw you pounding Beelzebub like it was your last day on earth to tickle your pickle. Outdoors too bro?? Are you okay?? Then we have Buddha, who would just randomly walk in like

"man...these old geezers just won't leave me alone... I want some more of that candy-"

Before he walks in on Beelzebub face contorted in pleasure from how good you were at it. Just bc you were a 'few' years older didn't mean you were slow in these things. You stopped aging when you were around 18-19. So you were specifically still in your youth. Forever in your youth. Which was a bad thing for some.

I bet Buddha just walks out with a "jeez sorry man. y'all shouldn't even be doing this in public-" slowly disappearing after shutting the door. Beelzebub's primal cries echoing out the doors. I think it's best if Buddha just puts a little "do not enter" sign...yeah, that's a good idea.

Bro Odin would be so pissed when he found out you were fucking around with his newfound enemy. He set up the Ragnarok and everything else, just for this moment. Only to find you sticking your pickle into a container...(That being Beelzebub) But hey what could he do? He just has to wait patiently till you were ready to listen to him. Even though you probably weren't.

Continuing to you shifting into another position with your newfound sweetheart, you put him on all fours, before coming in and out of his destroyed bussy. You liked this. You wanted to make up for all that lost time that you missed out on. And you knew exactly how.

"baby I'll cum now okay? Just fill you up nice and good.."

You growled before thrusting inside faster, his moans growing hoarse from how much he'd been at it. It was an addicting feeling that he could get used to. And he started to love it. "(M/n)...lord (m/n) ooh, fuck that's good! Fuck that's sooo good~!"

He cried when you pumped his cock, while still destroying him from the back, taking it out and spilling all that cum on his back. Flipping him again and continuing to fuck him. Your cock tip was so swollen and overused but you liked it that way. You'll fuck and fuck allll day. Make him take it good, just for you.

You took your cock out, before inserting two fingers inside. Receiving a gasp of pleasure when you started fingerfucking him mercilessly. Using his hole like a personal cum dumpster to play and mess with. Before he could cum, you slid your cock back in, licking your fingers before cumming hard into his hole. Filling him to the brim with just seed. Breeding sessions were always so good.

Such a tease you were. Randomly groping his ass or rubbing your bulge on his leg, knowing he wanted it too. But spare some love towards adamas who was in the middle of talking to Beelzebub before witnessing you do such a thing.

The poor guy didn't ask for this, he never wanted to see two gods sexually teasing each other in front of his naked eyes....

[togetherhearted]

Could I request Buddha, Qin and Nikola with a s/o that says/asks the most out of pocket things ever? the two of them can just be sitting quietly and she'll ask something that is so random they just have to look at her for a few seconds, I don't why I just thought about this, it's 6AM rn and I just woke up

Oh dear me..thanks for waiting. It's been hard to went back on track for writing. I hope it is fine!![also sorry Edison fans,aka me as well]

BUDDHA/QIN AND NIKOLA'S S/O OUT OF POCKET MOMENT

-Do you think candies have feelings?- Buddha stopped chewing on his gum as he heard your question. Your eyes were fixated on the candies in your palm. -Do I?- -I don't know- You put them back in the bag -Sometimes I wonder if we're not the only one feeling things- -Uh- The god went back on enjoying his sweets, popping another candy in his mouth with a satisfied crunch noise. -I never thought of that...-He admitted while putting his arms behind his back -Doesn't happen everyday to have asked this- You nodded. -Maybe they do, but it's not stopping me from enjoying them~ They must have a nice personality though, if they're so sweet-

Qin crawled under the luxurious covers of the bed. His arms sneaked behind you, pulling your body closer to his. He sighed in delight. -Tired?- You let him nuzzle his face in your neck. -Very much so. I think I'll sleep immediately- You gave a slight nod, closing your eyes as well. -Qin...do you think rocks are forbidden candies?- Qin shot his eyes open, rubbing them in confusion. -Excuse me?- -Yeah...like, pretty and shiny rocks. Maybe the coloured ones have different flavours. Oh.what about the gems- -Please...go to sleep...-

I think Edison's hair is actually a wig..- Nikola turned his head to you. He lifted his goggles, blinking in confusion. -Pardon?- -Yeah, Edison's hair.No way you can style them that way with your real hair- Nikola put down whatever device he was working on and sat. He tapped his index on his chin, pondering your thoughts. -I could ask him...- -Please do- Later that day Nikola crossed paths with the other inventor;after a quick nod exchange Nikola stopped the man on his tracks. -Say Edison- He turned his head to him with a dashing smile- Is that a wig?- Edison blinked a few times before taking a deep breath -EXCUSE ME?!-

[billetwoes]

I've Got This!

How would the MK1 Earthrealmer Boys react when all of you go out for a friendly dinner at Madam Bo's and you, a lovely female team mate, pick up the bill happily before any argument and avoiding the bill banter ensues between the boys?

************************************************************************

Liu Kang

He accepts your gesture with gratitude. Why should a god have to pay? He shouldn't have to. He already does so much to protect Earthrealm.

"It's always an honour, Lord Liu Kang," you said, bowing with hands clasped in front of you.

He does not care that you are a woman, he only cares about your good qualities. If you want to be generous and kind to your friends, that is your right and choice.

Raiden

He's momentarily surprised that you got up and confidently took the bill and added a stack of cash on top before handing it back to Madam Bo with a wink, which was your way of communicating that you've tipped.

"Y/N, you didn't have to do that!" he said, that he feels bad is evident in his voice.

"Don't worry about it! You've treated us before, so it's my turn," you said smiling.

"Besides, I may not be a Lay Buddhist, but it is good karma," you gestured towards both him and Kung Lao, "And we're friends."

"Well, if you put it that way," Raiden began humbly, smiling, "we gratefully accept, even though we're not monks yet."

"Plus, I'm honored to be in the presence of the Shaolin's next master!"

Raiden blushed, "You're embarassing me!" He said modestly.

Kung Lao

Kung Lao belched appreciatively, patting his belly, praising the good hearty meal. Then the usual banter ensued between the boys on who's paying the bill when brought to your table. You, without hesitation, paid the bill confidently. Done.

He didn't spot your actions but the others did and the bantering immediately changed to protests and expressions of feeling bad that you got to it first. Kung Lao then realized what happened and joined in with the boys.

He's trying to save face but was internally happy and grateful that he didn't have to pay the hefty bill. He certainly had a big metabolism and he knew that he required more food. *burp* *pat, pat* :D

You waved a hand dismissively, "You guys treat me all the time, it's my turn. Besides, I may not be a Lay Buddhist, but it is good karma," you gestured towards both him and Raiden, "And we're friends."

"Well, then!" Exclaimed Kung Lao with a wide grin, hands held outwards, "I am glad to be the bestower of good karma! I'm more than happy to oblige you next time!" Raiden hit him on the chest playfully with the back of his hand, "I'm joking. But, thank you, Y/N! This next smiling Buddha's indeed happy!"

Johnny Cage

He's impressed with your boldness and is beaming from ear to ear.

"Whoa! I'm getting the royal treatment!" The actor complimented in his own joking way.

Since both of you are Westerners, it is not unheard of for women to take up the bill and treat others. In fact it is welcomed in many cases.

"Absolutely," you said brightly, "Anything for all of you...within reason!" You jokingly gave a motherly warning gaze, holding a finger up.

Johnny laughed, "Aww, I was gonna order champagne, a couple of lobsters and some caviar!"

"Next time, for sure," you said, smiling.

"Nah, I'll get it next time. My treat," Johnny replied happily opening his arms up to hug you, which you returned, "Thank you, Y/N."

"It's an honour to be in the presence of Ninja Mime!"

Kenshi

Kenshi was more reserved and not much of a talker. It was hard to read him at times, as he is expression was poker faced most of the time. But when he speaks, the words are sincere.

Once you paid the bill, there was a quiet reaction where he smiled and nodded in your direction. Unlike the rest of the boys, he was polite and formal.

"Thank you, Y/N."

Sub Zero (Bi Han)

He had his usual scowl on his face. As you all stood up to leave, he approached you.

"A woman never pays." He said as if he had the last word in a dignified way.

Hiding your confusion, you replied, "I wanted to."

His face subtly crinkles before walking away. Kuai Liang looked back at you apologetically.

You can make out parts of their conversation as they were leaving Madam Bo's.

"Women these days! It is a man's job to take care of women!" Bi Han grumbled.

"Times have changed, brother."

"And who does she think she is by saying, "I want to"? She means defiance!"

"You misunderstood her words, brother."

The grumbling faded away as the brother exited Madam Bo's.

At least you now know that the traditional Lin Kuei Grandmaster cares about women underneath that cold exterior.

Scorpion (Kuai Liang)

Unlike his brother, Kuai Liang was diplomatic. He was also like Kenshi, where words of gratitude are sincere behind a solemn tone.

Kuai Liang returned after the above conversation with his brother, who was now waiting outside of the restaurant.

"Y/N," he began, "I apologize for that."

You waved a hand, smiling, "Don't worry about that. I was happy to share."

"While some of us have accepted that times have changed, others have not," he explained, "My brother is grateful, but he often allows his ego to express this for him in...straightforward ways."

"You don't have to explain anything, I understand," you said, holding a hand up, "I know he is grateful."

"We appreciate the kind gesture," Kuai Liang said sincerely, "It was a wonderful meal."

"You're welcome," you responded, bowing your head respectfully.

Smoke (Tomas Vrbada)

He felt bad that you paid. Even though you were happy to.

Kind, empathetic and sensitive, he felt that he should have been the one to step up and paid the bill. He wanted to take care of his family and friends. When you beat him to the punch, he was internally kicking himself in the head.

"You look like I just did something hurtful to you," you said, looking concerned, "Are you ok?"

He sighed, "Yes, I am. I feel bad though. I should have been the one to pay."

"You're welcome," you joked, "Don't worry about it!"

"I know, I know," he began apologetically, "I really appreciate you doing that for us. I would have liked to take care of all of you."

"Oh, you're fine," you reassured, "You take care of all of us enough, and more. So typical of you and your star sign."

He paused, "Wait, what? How do you know what my star sign is?" He eyed you suspiciously.

You waved your hand in the air nonchalantly, "Oh, I might have overheard a person or two greet you happy birthday a month ago."

"But...I've never told anyone my birthday!"

"Someone found out," you said, "Happy belated birthday! I hope you enjoyed the dinner! Ha ha ha!!"

Before he could say anything, you left the restaurant cackling.

[rrcraft-and-lore]

Gender Fluidity, non-heterosexual, and gender variance behavior in mythology.

For the purpose of this thread, and keeping it short cuz even though this is my off month to finally rest from burn out, I've got publishing obligations, signings, and stuff to do -- we're keeping-- this to South Asian mythology:

I've already done a thread about third sex/intersex and trans (Hijra) in South Asian culture and the portrayals in a pop culture IP recently - Monkey Man by Dev Patel --

This is a short primer really:

Harihara - the union representing totality/oneness of all existence is the being born of the union of Shiva and Vishnu (who at prior to this morphs into Mohini, the female celestial temptress who Shiva becomes besotted with and tries to get intimate with), Vishnu changes back amidst this and the two fuse into a being. The ability of celestial beings | gods | goddesses to morph, change shape and gender in Vedic to Hindu mythology is well-established/normal. But there are many legends about Mohini, including the birth of her (Vishnu, his female avatar form being Mohini) son, Shasta, with Shiva. Mohini is also known as a femme fatale archetype, seducer, temptress, as well as someone known for destroying/seducing demons to their doom.

One thing to remember is that the Vedic religion and its stories are old, older than our records because the stories, songs, poetry of it all existed before written records and were transmitted orally. There are also varied versions of the epics, such as Tamil recountings of Mahabharata for example, in where one such example exists.

Krishna also takes the form of Mohini to marry Aravan (in Tamil) Iravan otherwise to give Aravan the chance to experience love before his death. There is a festival celebrated to this in the month of Chitrai (April/May) at the Koothandavar Temple dedicated to Iravan during which, Hijras (the third sex, transgender, intersex, and or eunuchs as well) celebrate Krishna/Mohini marrying Aravan and then mourn Aravan/Iravan's death as he sacrificed himself.

It must be noted that there is artwork and mention throughout the wide spread of Vedic upwards stories (and how many interpretations, takes, and varies stories there are) of same sex and yonic/non-vaginal sex relationships, births, and more.

There's also inter-being...?

Erotica/romance authors help me out here? Inter...celestial sex?

Apsara, devas, asura, humans, demigods. Look, lots of sex of all kind happens, and it's normal.

There's also the story of Arjuna to consider: when he refuses the seductive advances of Urvashi, she curses him to be a Klba, or member of the third gender. Later when Arjuna adopts the name of Brihannala, the curse takes effect as Arjuna dresses in women's clothing, and because of this, Arjuna is able to gain entrance to the kingdom of Virata in the Padma Purana and teach the high arts of music, singing, and dance, to the king's daughter and princess. Later, he is turned into a woman when he wishes to take part in Krishna's mystical dance which only women may attend.

Then there is Ila, a character cursed by Shiva and Parvati to change genders each month.

NOTE: there are MANY versions of the story of Ila, but it is canonical they changed gender -- known as Sudyumna as a woman, and Ila as a man.

Ilā is considered the chief progenitor of the Lunar dynasty of Indian kings – also known as the Aillas.

Continuing. In one story, Ila marries Budha (not Buddha the former king and founder of Buddhism), but Budha that is the god Mercury -- Budha is aware of Ila's origins as a man and changing status, but only marries Ila in his feminine state, and honoring that part of them as his wife and only when Ila is in that state. He does not enlighten Ila to the changing effect as each gender is unaware of the other and those lives.

The tale of Ila's transformations is told in the Puranas as well as the Indian epic poems, the Ramayana and the Mahabharata.

This is just a little thread. Anyways, I'm off now to sign nearly 2000 pages (won't finish today) and have an achey hand while I do more research and trying to improve the prose style I want for book three of Tales of Tremaine.

❤️ thank you. Remember, be kind.

[chaos0pikachu]

so this isn't a fully formed thought and I think some of the confusion/lackluster feel towards the past lives/karma backstory is b/c the show's made what seems to be some pretty prominent changes to the novel. Which has flatten things some b/c the doctor is less of a complex char and more of a by-the-by antagonist to Phaya and Tharn's love.

But after last episode their backstory reminded me a lot of The Legend of White Snake, which is considered one of China's four great folktales - alongside Lady Meng Jiang, Butterfly Lovers, and The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl - like any folktale it's changed a lot over the centuries but the gist is:

A female snake demon/spirit (I've seen demon and spirit used interchangeably in English but "spirit" is probably closer to the intent), White Snake or Bai Suzhen falls in love with a human man - sometimes a doctor sometimes a herbalist - named Xu Xian. She hides the fact she's a snake spirit from Xu Xian and the two marry. Then a Buddhist monk, Fa Hai, shows up and realizes Bai Suzhen is a snake spirit. He threatens her to reveal herself and she refuses. He tells Xu Xian she's a snake spirit but he doesn't believe him so Fa Hai gives him a potion to reveal she's a snake. She falls asleep after drinking it and poof, transforms into her snake spirit form. In most tellings of the folktale he usually dies of shock seeing her transformation and Bai Suzhen goes on a journey to bring him back to life with her companion Green Snake (Xiaoqing). Husband resurrected Xu Xian tells her he loves her snake spirit or no and they decide to remain together.

But Fa Hai is a sour ass bitch about it and is like, nah. He kidnaps Xu Xian and is like "y'all can't be together!!" (regina george voice) so Bai Suzhen goes to save her husband and fights Fa Hai and like floods the land and shit (she's super powerful). She gets trapped in the Leifeng Pagoda and is punished for her crimes by staying in there separated from her husband (and sometimes son depends on the adaption).

In some cases she's trapped forever and Xu Xian becomes a monk - pretty sure this is the ending of Jet Li's film adaption of the story which made me fucking BAWL - in other cases her sons filial piety and merits in his life impresses and moves the Gods who allow her to be free and reunite with her family - this is the ending of one of the TV show adaptions.

So like, the fuck does this have to do with The Sign?

So like, in every adaption of White Snake that I've seen - which at this point is four - I'm always very much like "free my girl she did nothing wrong!!" but like flooding the land and upsetting Buddha IS wrong even if you did it ~for love~ it's why she gets punished in the end (no matter the adaption she's always trapped/punished & separate from her man) and released b/c her sons merits move the Gods enough to earn her freedom.

So on the surface it doesn't look like Tharn and Phaya did anything wrong, but idk we're only halfway through the story still.

If Tharn was engaged to Chalothon in his past life - and he was a woman - then him and Phaya DID cause harm to Chalothon even if they didn't love Chalothon.

Whether we, the audience, consider it harm or not (audiences tend to be fine with affairs/cheating if we're supposed to be "rooting" for the couples I notice). We also don't know the fallout - if any - happened post Phaya and Tharn's affair. It might be they have to earn merits to earn the right to be together - like Bai Suzhen did via her son - either by "saving" Chalothon from his obsession or some other means.

To me their story is closer to White Snake than Romeo and Juliet (which ISN'T a tragic tale of love). But right now, I feel like we have to little information. I've read novel spoilers and like, it makes more sense in the novel to me than the show currently. I'm hoping the show is able to kinda right the ship a bit as we continue to peel back layers of what happened and what's going to happen.

[radiantmists]

"we're the gods and buddhas, and we can't grant shit" i love mu qing

[onecantsimply]

Can you do a Part 3 of the Jack the Ripper x Tanjiro Kamado Reader please?

It’s when Reader along with the other human fighters are defending Buddha from Loki and the Seven Lucky Gods (Like when Tanjiro defended the Butterfly Girls and Aoi from Tengen Uzui from going to the Red Light District)

Reader tells them that she doesn’t recognize them as ‘Gods’ making an angry pouty face (While the Human Fighters and Buddha are looking at Reader with a confused/amused look) as she head-butted Loki (Thus Buddha is laughing his ass off) and gets the Gods pissed ready to fight her

This took a while-

Ooops HH-

-

"I wouldn't consider anyone as a Hashira if they had done that to any woman in general." (Y/n) mumbled as they ate at a rice ball. "Oh, is that so...?" Jack faintly looked down, but looked back at them with a small smile. "Anyhow, thank you for accompanying me with my assignment. You didn't really need to." The male's smile could only faintly widen as he bowed his head. "It's not a problem. It's only natural for a gentleman to protect the one he loves." (Y/n) could only smile before they looked back at the box on their back. "Nezuko, we're almost there, okay?" There was a small hum from within the box.

"You know you shouldn't go breaking stuff... What are you, a kid?"

(Y/n) and Jack stopped.

"Hoh... That's just like you, Buddha." A familiar voice spoke. (Y/n) and Jack peeked into the garden, seeing Loki starting to stretch his arms over his head, folding said arms. "You... really oughta just..." Cains with sickle-like ends to them appeared as Loki leapt at Buddha. "... get lost!"

"Stop right there!" (Y/n) immediately slashed Loki's chains away, making Buddha arch an eyebrow as Jack blinked. He then sighed faintly, but walked towards (Y/n). They seemed to faintly deadpan.

(What is even going on here...? A random fight between the Humans and Gods...? -(Y/n))

"How dare you pick on the Humans? Get lost!" They spoke. The group only collectively stared at them.

(I seriously don't know what's happening...?! -(Y/n))

Buddha faintly grinned. "No, they're bullying us. Please help." He spoke. Jack looked towards him with a faint deadpan at the obvious lie.

(Y/n) glared at Loki before running at the God, leaping and pulling their head back.

He looked up at them with a blink.

That was, until (Y/n)'s forehead had slammed against his own, making a ringing in his head start to be heard.

His head throbbed.

"Damn... That's a hard head...!" Loki muttered.

"Are the rest of you all right?" (Y/n) looked back at the group. "Yeah! thank you for helping!" Kojiro winked with a chuckle, waving. Buddha was completely cackling, his arms held over his chest as he teared up from his laughter. "Sir, are you okay?" (Y/n) blinked. "So many swordsmen..." Kondou chuckled. "Where did you come from?" Souji looked towards (Y/n). "Eh- Sir Jack and I were kind of wandering after a job well done... and we overheard everything..." The group then turned their attention to Jack, who had some knives in between his fingers. He softly eyed the group in front of him.

(... I only touched my knives when in the match against Sir Heracles... Will the effects of the Völundr still be with them...? But even so... I must protect them... -Jack)

"Hey..." Ebisu stepped in front of (Y/n) as they blinked, taking a step back. "We're the Seven Lucky Gods... and that was Loki, the God of Deceit you just headbutted back there... We're renown around this place. Do you really think we'd let you off easy for this?" (Y/n)'s eyebrows furrowed as they clenched their blade. "Stop picking on the Humans, you lousy bullies!!" (Y/n) held their arms out towards Buddha and Kojiro. "You go, kid." He chuckled as Buddha grinned. "You heard em. Stop picking on us." He spoke. "Hey, you three! Who the hell do you think you're talking to, damn it?! We're your superiors! We're Gods, for Christ's sake!" Buddha then pointed to himself after Ebisu was done speaking. "And so am I." The Enlightened man spoke.

"But I don't acknowledge the rest of you as a God!" (Y/n) crossed their arms, remaining firm. "Don't do that shit with us!!" Ebisu yelled. "Who cares if they don't acknowledge us...? I think their brain matter just exploded from their injuries and their mission... They've gotta be tired..." Loki faintly grinned.

(Easy prey. -Loki)

Jack stepped behind (Y/n), only giving them scary dog privileges. "Oh, I'm only doing this because I think Buddha is a traitor to the Gods... He's supposed to be fighting with them, not against them." Loki smirked up at Jack as his eyes slightly narrowed. Buddha scoffed. "I fight on my own side, whether that be Humans or not. For now, I'm going for the former. No way I'm going to the ones who make worse candy." He spoke. "Also... no God needs permission to bully anyone lower than them..." Loki grinned once again. (Y/n) faintly gaped. "You're an Ungodly brute! How could you say that?!" They yelled.

A swelled arm had suddenly formed before it punched into the floor, making everyone leap back to their own side. "Good grief..." Zeus muttered. "You're all... so spirited, aren't you...?" He mumbled. "Gramps... and you even brought the old man..." Loki sighed. "I don't know what happened here, but... given the current state of things... I'm very much displeased... that you would have a falling out." Buddha stayed silent as he slightly rolled his eyes. "Quit tryna start shit with each other willingly, you dumb motherfuckers!!" Huginn screamed. "Is that another Kasugai crow?" (Y/n) blinked with beady eyes from the crow's vulgar language. "No, it's not, Dear." Jack mumbled, softly pulling them behind him. "It's absolutely outlandish that fellow Gods would choose to quarrel now of all times!!" Souji seemed to perk up. "Woah, look, Lord Kondou! Those crows are talking!" He spoke.

(So cute...! -Souji)

"Huh? We're Heaven's fuckin' executioners!! The hell gives youse the right to-" Ebisu was cut off when Odin glared right into him.

"That's enough."

(Y/n) faintly covered their nose as Jack's gentle grip on them started to tighten. The Seven Lucky Gods had all froze up. Kondou chuckled as he gently pulled Souji to the side.

(That's one intense aura... -Kondou) (What a thick scent... He's strong... -(Y/n))

Everything seemed silent until Loki had sneezed. "Aw... that kinda took me out of the mood..." He mumbled. The male then placed a hand behind his head. "Welp, that's it for me. I'm gonna go watch the match. See ya, Buddha." Loki had then looked back at the male with a darker look. "... Till next time."

Buddha didn't even pay attention to him. only unwrapping his lollipop and popping it into his mouth. While Loki had walked away, the Seven Lucky Gods had slowly begun to follow. Though, Bishamonten turned. "... Never forget. Traitors will receive Divine Punishment." The male then turned, walking forward with furrowed eyebrows.

"Aw, man..." Souji mumbled. "That was boring..." He softly sighed. "Well, that's alright." Kondou gently pat his head. "Anyhow, we're going back to our room to watch the match. What about you, Kojiro?" He chuckled. "Yeah, I'm gonna head on back, too." The male then winced. "Yeah, I may have put on a bit too much of a front..." He mumbled. "Er, sorry if your patrons stuck their heads in where they shouldn't have." Kondou then looked towards (Y/n) and Buddha.

"New mission!! New mission!! Accompany the Hashira, Uzui Tengen to the Entertainment District!!" (Y/n) jolted. "Already?!" They yelled. "An entertainment district...?" Jack mumbled. His eyebrows seemed to furrow. "Another talking crow!" Souji looked towards their crow with a flowery aura. "Eh?" He looked towards the teen. "CAW!!!" The crow screeched. "Jeez...!" (Y/n) held him back. "Can I pet him?" Souji walked over. "I'm not sure if he would allow it..." They mumbled, softly holding their crow still. "I don't want to be eaten!! Get your hands off of me!!"

(He's having Inosuke flashbacks- -(Y/n))

They softly let go with a small chuckle, allowing for their crow to fly away. "Hey, who are you anyways?" Buddha questioned. "Oh- My apologies!" (Y/n) softly bowed before looking towards the God. "My name is (Y/n) Kamado! It's an honor to meet you, Lord Buddha!" He blinked. The male then smirked faintly. "No need for honorifics... We're fighting on the same side, right? How's your Ragnarok going?" He questioned. "... Quite a few of us have died... But... I'm sure that when Muzan is eradicated, I'll be free out of business... I'm lucky enough to have Sir Jack following me around a small bit." The male gently slipped his knives into the pockets of the insides of his long sleeve. "I'm simply keeping you from pressuring yourself. Your injuries are still healing, after all." He spoke. "They're almost all the way healed." (Y/n) smiled faintly. "Almost. Not all the way." Jack's eyes faintly narrowed as he looked towards them.

"Jack The Ripper, huh?" Kojiro blinked. The two looked towards each other. "... I hear you make some good tea. I wouldn't mind trying it sometime." Jack blinked as well. Though, he smiled softly. "Certainly." He replied. (Y/n) gently tugged at Jack's sleeve. "Anyhow, I should get going now. Will you come with?" He smiled slightly more. "Naturally. Lead the way." He replied. (Y/n) nodded. They then waved towards the group of Humans. "I'll see you all next time!! Good luck in your match!!" Souji and Kondou turned, now making their way back to their own rooms. Kojiro seemed to follow after as well. "Watch the make! Watch the match!" The teen spoke. Buddha blinked, looking towards the group as they went their separate ways. "Well, looks like that scuffle's over... You'd best head back, too." Zeus spoke.

-----

"We never even got to rest..." (Y/n) mumbled. "Well, it was either that, or getting the message when we were about to sleep." Jack replied. "I would much rather prefer to have it as the former. We're quite ready now." (Y/n) blinked. "... Are we?" They looked towards Jack. "... We can prepare if you'd like." He spoke. "Yes please-" He smiled faintly. "Then... back we shall g-"

The pair stopped upon detecting a strong and dark aura from where the garden was. (Y/n) covered their nose.

"This is Lord Odin's scent...! It thickened...!" They muttered.

(It's actually choking me...! -(Y/n))

The aura had suddenly stopped, leaving the pair in hesitation.

"... I pity the one that has to fight against that God..." Jack mumbled. (Y/n) nodded in agreement. They then looked towards the silver haired male. "... What's an entertainment district?" He jolted. "Uhm-"

[mydisenchantedeulogy]

Candy Coated [Chapter Seven] Xs and Os [Buddha]

A/n: thank you all for the support and patience. The art above was created by the talented Somanoko on AO3.

Warning(s): anxiety, animal death, humiliation, mentions of human extinction, female reader (though I do my best to leave out pronouns), comfort.

Tag list: @useless-potatho , @tojibreedingme , @quinloki , @yingxian, @2lottie2, @lunas-nova , @anduinandwrathionlover, @tiredfairy, @the-queen-of-sorrows , @alientee, @lawlietliet, @hanaibea, @69your-best-night-mare69

Your nerves are a complete mess as you get ready for the important meeting that Buddha had invited you to. For some strange reason, you aren't bought with the idea that he wants you there simply because the two of you are tethered, but it's not in your nature to nag him about his plans, so for now, you let it go. 

Opting for an outfit, the Buddha recently had made for you, with comfort in mind, you quickly dress and then leave the confines of your room, sauntering toward the main hall where the God in question is waiting, having what seems to be a serious conversation with Jataka. 

Upon approaching them, the former turns to you and grins. 

"Are you ready to go?"

"I suppose so," you answer. 

Your eyes turn to Jataka in question. 

"Are you going with us?"

"Unfortunately not," the man in question answers. He gives you a gentle smile. "This meeting is meant only for the Gods."

Knowing this puts an even heavier strain on your nerves. What reason does Buddha want you to go? A comforting hand on your shoulder turns your attention to Jataka, who smiles at you. 

"So long as you listen to Siddhartha everything will be fine."

You know this, but it does little to make you feel better. Thanking him, you force a smile and turn to Buddha, giving him a nod. He offers you his hand, warm against your own, and within seconds the scrolls appear, transporting you both. 

It takes but a few seconds to arrive and once you do, the anxiety you feel only worsens. The sound of chatter feels your ears; a noise that easily overwhelms you. Tightening your jaw, you glance around to see that you and the Buddha are in an ornate hall with a gorgeous marble floor, one that reminds you of the Valhalla Arena.

"Where are we?" You ask. 

"The Council Chamber," Buddha answers in a bored tone. "We're here as part of the Council of Valhalla."

You hum. It sounds similar to the Assembly Hall, used to house the United Nations. Perhaps it's similar in the aspect of protecting each of the God Realms. You aren't sure, but you know that you aren't meant to be here.

Releasing your hand, much to your annoyance, Buddha saunters down the hall in the direction of the noise. You rush to his side, allowing him to lead, but at the top of some stairs, overlooking an enormous circular room, you pause in fright. There are thousands of seats and each one is occupied by a God or Goddess.

Despite the composure you struggle to maintain, your mind is racing with thoughts.

There are so many Gods. I'm going to make a complete fool out of myself in front of them and I know it.

Buddha glances over his shoulder once he realizes that you aren't following him down the stairs and offers you a smile. An air of peacefulness surrounds you a moment later and though it eases your nerves, enough to help you move forward, you are still losing your shit.

Please don't let me trip down these stairs. Who needs this many steps anyway? This is ridiculous.

"Is that a…human?" A hushed voice asks. 

Your legs feel numb. Of course, someone would notice. You ignore them, reaching out to grasp your soulmate's shirt. He leads you down to a section where several familiar Gods sit, one of which is Ganesha, the Hindu God of success, who comes across as a short overweight man with an elephant head.

"Are each of these from the Hindu Pantheon?" You ask in a whisper to Buddha. 

He tosses his feet up on the table in front of him and nods. 

"Relax. It won't be long."

You attempt to, but you feel eyes all over you. Glancing ahead, due to the way the seats are arranged, you can see a raised circular platform at the base of the stairs. Resting on it, behind a gorgeous ornate throne and a small table is what appears to be a large horned lizard. You've never seen anything like it. 

You consider asking Buddha what it is, but a frail old man totters toward the throne, catching your attention. A small tuft of spiky gray hair sits on top of his head and when he sits on the throne, you notice that his eyes are sunken. It's hard to tell where he's staring but for a moment a sense of dread consumes you, turning your stomach. It almost feels like he's looking at you, but just as quickly as it happens, it passes. You take an uneasy breath, watching as the old man pets the lizard's head. 

"Who is h-he?" You ask in a whisper. 

"The old man? That's Zeus," Buddha answers. He grins and nudges you with his arm. "Scary, isn't he?"

No kidding. He's an A-lister God. The Father of the Cosmos. 

"Does he rule over the other Gods?" You ask.

Buddha bursts into a laugh, making you regret asking. The feeling of being watched intensifies and you plead with him to stop in fear of drawing too much attention. 

"He's just the chairman," he clarifies, raising his glasses to clear the tears from his eyes.

This explains why he's sitting before the others. You sigh. This entire ordeal is nerve-wracking.

Retrieving a gavel from the table beside him, Zeus quietens the room.

"Now then…my fellow Gods," he announces. "It's been a thousand years since we held one of these. Let us begin the conference."

You raise a brow. A thousand years. What sort of conference could this be? 

"Now…I ask you all, shall we give humanity another millennium of existence?" Zeus asks as he raises two paddles. One has a circle on it and the other has an X. "Yay…or nay? Do we put an end to them? Let each God show their will."

His tone seems to darken, sending shivers down your spine. You can hardly believe him. This is a serious matter. The fate of humanity depends on this. In horror, you listen as the Gods around you debate the situation. 

"I say end them," a nearby voice declares. 

You widen your eyes and turn your attention to the God; a muscular man with indigo skin and four arms. His short black hair falls to one side as he turns on the lavish pillow he rests on, lifting two paddles with the X on them. 

"I've been watching them closely and they've shown no signs of improvement. It's a total drag trying to guide them."

You clutch your hands into a fist. What does he know? Of course, humans are vile; they murder and destroy; spread sorrow and illness in their wake, but the Gods aren't perfect either. Perhaps it's because you are a human soul that it angers you so much. Not everyone deserves to perish, a notion that doesn't seem to be shared by the Gods. 

"Let's wipe the slate clean…and let some other species evolve," the four-armed God states in a sing-song voice. 

"Indeed…Shiva is right," another God agrees, a gorgeous woman. Her curly blonde hair is decorated with flowers and hangs over her shoulder. "The past thousand years have seen the world become increasingly ugly. Trash and oil in the seas. The forests, gone. Entire species extinct. Humankind itself is a cancer eating away at life on Earth. Or perhaps I should say…they're a plague that will bring about their own end." 

She isn't wrong, but it makes the Gods no better to wipe out all of humanity. Would it be wrong to allow them to destroy themselves? 

You sit and listen for someone to stand up and rise against them, but no one does. Not even Buddha. You glance at him in disbelief but he doesn't look at you. The paddle rests on his lap as if he's debating what to do.

Someone has to do the right thing. This can't be it. 

Taking the paddle from him, you raise it above your head with the opposite vote, ready to argue your decision, but Buddha grabs your hand and holds it down.

"Not yet," he utters. 

You don't follow.

"I'm a human despite being dead. I can't just–"

"That's exactly why they won't listen to you," Buddha interrupts. He turns to you and smiles. "Trust me. Wait a bit longer."

You want to argue with him, but he has a point. Sliding your hand from his, you turn your attention to Zeus, who raises the gavel.

"It appears we have a decision," he states. "And so…I hereby declare an end to–" 

"One moment sir!" A familiar voice shouts. 

You lean forward and glance over the back of the seat to see Brunhilde and Göll standing at the top of the stairs. 

What are they doing here?

All eyes turn to them and you watch in anticipation as they descend the stairs; Göll is shaking in fear, but you know that Brunhilde is just better suited at hiding hers.

"With reverence to the Gods, I humbly ask I be allowed to say a few words," the dark-haired Valkyrie urges.

"You and your manners Brunhilde!" A voice croaks. 

In the stands to the northwest of the throne, you notice a pair of ravens, one white and one black perched on a bearded man's shoulder. You recognize him, or rather you have heard of him before.

"That's Odin, right? And his ravens Huginn and Muninn."

"You identified him easily," Buddha utters with a pout.   

Of course, you did. He looks a bit like the images you have seen of him. Not to mention Welsh actor Anthony Hopkins set the image in your mind for him in 2011's 'Thor'. Buddha didn't look much like the man you had read about. Ignoring him for now, you focus on the matter at hand.

"Humanity's insolence and savagery is indeed unpardonable," Brunhilde remarks, agreeing with the Gods. "However simply annihilating them is so…cliche. Does humanity deserve to exist for another thousand years? May I suggest testing them? You can even display your divine might and mercy while doing so."

Is this what Sakata Kintoki had been referring to? All this time Buddha knew. 

"A test? Like another flood?" The white raven, Huggin, or Muninn asks. 

"Or perhaps an early ice age?" The black raven adds. 

Your thoughts return to the storm that had taken your life. Could the Gods have been responsible for it too? It seems possible. But what reason? 

It's too soon to point fingers. I'm basing this on an assumption. 

"No…there is a more effective way," Brunhilde retorts. "The Gods versus Humanity. The final conflict…Ragnarok."

Ragnarok! Your eyes widen in shock. Doom of the Gods. This can't be what Kintoki meant. 

"Defined in the extraordinary clause…in article 62, paragraph 15 of the Valhalla Constitution as a series of one on one showdowns between the Gods and Humankind," Brunhilde explains. 

A strange book materializes in her hand, opening to a page that you can not see, however, you assume it correlates to the rule she is reciting from. 

"Ha! That is your proposal?" The white raven asks. "You Valkyries should know very well–"

"That humans stand no chance against the Gods," the black raven concludes. 

Both croak in unison, "It'd be a waste of time!"

The Gods all agree with them. In a way, you can understand their decision. Humans are not on par with the Gods; to fight them would be pointless, but at least Brunhilde is trying.

"So the Gods' will is humanity's extinction and the avoidance of any direct confrontation with humans…is that right?" The Valkyrie asks. Her tone sounds almost condescending. She lifts a finger and rests it against her cheek. "Extinction without confrontation…refusal to meet face to face. By any chance…are you afraid?"

Buddha bursts into a laugh. The other Gods are not so humored.

"If so, I apologize," Brunhilde continues. "Please ignore my remarks. Let's just forget about the Ragnarok Clause."

Göll does her best to talk her sister down before she angers the Gods, but you understand now what she is trying to do; she's trying to play on their pride as Gods. And it's working. 

A choir of laughter echoes around the chamber, then all at once their humor shifts to anger, directed at Brunhilde. She simply grins, not caring.

"I see…Ragnarok, eh?" Zeus questions with a hearty laugh. He stands and pets the large lizard, who appears to be enjoying his attention. "That's an interesting proposal. Yup. It sure is. How…utterly…amazing."

Little by little you watch in horror as the muscles in one of his arms grow to a disproportionate mass. He buries his fingers into the lizard's snout and with the other arm, he twists its head until the poor thing's neck snaps with a horrifying crack. You feel Buddha slide his warm hand into yours, but you can't avert your eyes or focus on the calming sensation that is attempting to break down your guard.

"And I'm sure all of you," Zeus states as he tosses aside the creature and turns. His irises appear as a mass of swirling insanity and his face is covered in blood, painting him in a demonic light. "Are also longing to witness the wrath of the Gods!"

He's insane.

"What say you, my fellow deities? Shall we battle Humankind?" The father of the Gods asks, tossing out his arms. 

The chamber erupts in a mass of loud cheers, and once Zeus slams the gavel down, the conference comes to an end. 

I hope Brunhilde knows what she's doing.

You have faith in her, but you're having a hard time believing that humanity will stand a chance.

–

"You're leaving me," you utter in disbelief. 

Buddha gives you an understanding look.

"It won't be for long. The old man wants to talk to me about something."

You are aware. A handsome man dressed in a butler uniform approached you and Buddha as the two of you were about to leave, demanding that he see Zeus first. The man, Hermes, had escorted the two of you to a room, but Buddha had insisted that you wait in the hall.

"I'll be here I guess," you utter in agreement, feeling a bit anxious.  

Buddha grins and saunters into the room. In the meantime, you lean against the wall to wait. It's silent for the time being. You can't hear much, some mumbles here and there, but all seems to be well. At least you hope. You can't imagine what–

"What is this? Are you eavesdropping?" A teasing voice asks.

You jerk in fear and notice a man in a cloak floating beside you. No wonder you didn't hear him. He grins and floats down onto the ground, looking you over. 

"You're that human soul I've heard about. How scandalous," the man mentions. 

He leans down and observes the red cords around your ankles, then stands again. 

"I don't envy Buddha at all."

You assume he is referring to you being a human. Biting back a rude remark, you instead narrow your eyes. 

"It was not our decision."

The multi-colored-haired man hums. 

"No, I don't suppose it was. Yue-Lao is cruel, isn't he? To tether you to a God at a time like this, with humanity's extinction on the rise."

What does this matter? You raise a brow, an action that he notices. The grin on his face widens, and combined with the goat-like slits in his eyes, he looks almost sinister. 

"Did no one tell you, little soul?" He asks in a teasing voice. "The humans on Midgard are not the only ones who are going to face extinction. The souls as well."

Your eyes widen. No. Someone would have told you.

"You're lying! You have to–"

"Haven't you said enough, Loki?" A familiar voice interrupts.

Zeus stands in the doorway, clean of blood, holding a bag in his hand. Behind him is Buddha, glancing at you in concern.

"Perhaps I have," Loki remarks with a shrug. "It was good fun though."

The hell it is. You shoot him a glare, but a laugh from Zeus draws your attention to the frail-looking man. He steps over the red cord on the floor, examining it. 

"It's as you said. A human soul…who would have guessed." 

"Don't let it concern you," Buddha mentions. He saunters past Zeus and grabs your hand. "And enjoy your candy."

You almost forgot. Fortunately, he hasn't eaten them yet. As Buddha leads you away, you consider warning the Father of the Gods about them, but after this ordeal, you don't necessarily care. You hardly know what to think at this point. 

"You're a God, aren't you, Buddha?" Loki asks suddenly. "So why are you content with letting this human stick around? Are you…fucking it?"

Your face heats up. Why would he ask this? And once more, you aren't an object. Turning your eyes to Buddha, you witness him glance over his shoulder and yawn in disinterest. 

Loki snorts.  

"I suppose not. Shame."

Buddha clutches your hand tight and leads you away from them. You are thankful, however, your mind is a labyrinth. What are you to do?

"Yue-Lao wasn't here," Buddha mentions. He hums in thought. "I could ask Kintoki to–"

"Why did you bring me here? I don't understand why you wanted me to hear this," you ask, yanking your hand from his. 

Buddha stops and glances at you. 

"That was infuriating…and worse than that, I felt so helpless. Did you think I wanted to be humiliated like–"

Before you can finish the sentence, Buddha closes the gap and brings you into a hug. Your face heats up, but you lean against his chest, feeling at a loss. 

"I brought you here because I wanted you to be aware of what is to come," he mentions. His warm hand rubs your back. "You have every right to be mad…but you aren't the only one. I'm sure Bu-chan was just as upset as you and she isn't even a human. Leave this to her and focus on us."

On us. 

At this moment, those words sounded like heaven to you. But you couldn't get what Loki had said out of your mind. 

Why does Buddha keep you around? And what will become of you if the Gods win?

[losrtphu]

LUNA SEA B-PASS 1996 21 Q&A [TRANS]

PART 2

original scan

link to part 1

What's a dream that you've had recently?

RYUICHI: I had a dream where i was put on fire. i was on the rooftop of a building and i was talking to the sky and a random guy came and burned off my left arm.

SUGIZO: I don't remember.. i have a lot of dreams though.

INORAN: When we we're recording i was asleep dreaming about arranging songs.

J: I'm still dreaming now. I'm a boy who's always dreaming (laughs)

SHINYA: I always dream when i go to sleep so i don't know (laughs)

How would you describe what God is?

RYUICHI: Someone who knows everything

SUGIZO: God is the creator of everything, and all knowing. but his form might be all humans as well.

INORAN: ...I wonder where he could be

J: God's real form...i feel like it would be something inside all of us not a figure like Christ or Buddha

SHINYA: Something that is really important/precious. i have a really strong sense of faith so I've never missed hatsumoude (first shrine visit of the year).

What is something that lasts forever?

RYUICHI: I still haven't found it.

SUGIZO: The idea of space. but there might not be anything that lasts forever, but on my level of thinking i would say space

INORAN:hmm... i would definitely say love

J: That is something that I've always been searching for

SHINYA: Something that is endless would have to mean that it's something that you have to pursue but i guess that would also make it impossible to reach.

How do you spend most of your nights and from what hours?

RYUICHI: The time that i do spend in my house is very short. around 12pm i take a bath, have dinner, watch a video on cars. yea i probably do those the most.

SUGIZO: I am always up until the sun comes.

INORAN: I turn the TV because there's always something always going on , but by 4am I'll definitely have NO energy

J: Around after 12pm I'm usually drinking and rolling on my sofa listening to music.

SHINYA: I space out while thinking about a bunch of stuff, while watching TV.

Favorite 3 CDs that you've been listening to during this recording period（TN: genuinely thought i was going insane because only shinya names CDs, everyone else just names the artist for some reason???)

RYUICHI: I haven't had any to listen to recently. I've kind of stopped listening to CDs.

SUGIZO: what I've been listening to is "ICE" and "DREAM DOLPHIN", but "TRICKY" has been my favorite since last year

INORAN: There's quite a lot so i cant pick what's my top 3, but i would probably say john Coltrane's album

J: Smashing pumpkins, Silverchair and John Osborne (TN: I'm guessing he means Ozzy Osborne)

SHINYA: none. when recording i only listen to our music, if i were to say which, style, mother and Eden.

Whats the first thing or person that comes to your mind when i say "quiet/still" ?

RYUICHI: I know a woman who is the exact meaning of the word silent, if i were to say an object..maybe a clock and i would also say that the waves of the sea feel still.

SUGIZO: The moon. the thought of death. I feel that if something is quiet/still it is like death, and not in a negative way but in a beautiful way

INORAN: I don't know...i think stillness coexists with movement

J: Me... why are you laughing??(laughs)

SHINYA: I think i would say God. i feel like he has a very still/quiet image.

Name a moment in the past when you've been the most angry

RYUICHI: I get pissed off when I'm denied to live the way i want to.

SUGIZO: Betrayal in human relationships, there's so many people that i would kill if i met them again. 　

INORAN: I get angry often so i honestly don't know (laughs)

J: Around high-school because i had to suddenly decided my own future

SHINYA: At the Budokan live a typhoon blew away the set, i genuinely went insane. (TN:pretty sure this was also their first Budokan live)

Name something that you want right now

RYUICHI: I know perfect things don't exist, but i want an honest love

SUGIZO: Sometime for my mind to go blank.

INORAN: Endless time.

J: Myself, time to be alone as myself.

SHINYA: A medicine that that makes me able to be awake all the time, sleeping is just a waste of time.

Name a book/s that you read often

RYUICHI: I think i have a lot of car books, the books are western so they have a different feel.

SUGIZO: Phillip k.dick books.

INORAN: I don't read books.

J: A book called それから(TN: no Eng title but I'd translate this as "after that/and then") which is a collection of stories by Akemi Edo

SHINYA: The books that i have, have lately been collections of short poems, its more like "Oh i have nothing to do so I'll just read"

A person who has your ideal lifestyle

RYUICHI: No one, I guess that would mean that person is myself.

SUGIZO: Jim Morrison, or Mike Tyson. I think after he came out of prison his performance has been amazing.

INORAN: The life that I'm living right now is the most ideal.

J: Someone who doesn't give up no matter what life throws at them.

SHINYA: Someone who enjoys life, as in, no matter what they do they have fun, i think that's wonderful.

What makes you want to hug someone?

RYUICHI: I really love casual gestures. gestures that come out without knowing.

SUGIZO: When I love that person so much I can't help it.

INORAN: When i want to hug them.

J: There's lots of different cases so...i guess when i want to hug them (laughs)

SHINYA: After a performance. i can't explain it well but after I've used everything up/got everything out of my system i start to feel like i need to hug someone. (TN: proof -> 1:40 https://youtu.be/VAQ20Qoqgm0?si=QWOcF5rK2Md42-CF&t=101)

What do you think is a sin?

RYUICHI: I don't think anything outweighs the sin of lying to yourself.

SUGIZO: Betrayal, and also suicide.

INORAN: Betrayal.

J: Lying.

SHINYA: It's not something you can count, because living as a human at the core is a sin, if we can all live while being conscious of our actions i think the world would be a better place.

What have you lost recently?

RYUICHI: I think when you stop lying to yourself you have to make sacrifices....so there would also be a time where you have to lose friends or partners.

SUGIZO: Time (laughs)

INORAN: There are probably a lot of things I've lost, in order to gain something you need to lose something.

J: Nothing.

SHINYA: Even if i had lost something i don't really care, if I've gained something I've probably lost something in the process (laughs)

[luxthestrange]

RoR Y/n's Thoughts#2

Y/n*Is tied with a red ribbon that has a tag"Your's now!" to the gods, still with a dazed look into the abyss*Dude...When we yawn...do deaf people think we are screaming?...

Buddha:...Really we're doing this again?*Came to the God section after he heard your voice your thoughts out loud again*

Y/n: If you're waiting for the waiter...aren't YOU the waiter?*Looks deep in thought*

Buddha:...They're just gonna keep talking...

Y/n: Why aren't apple chargers just called apple juice?

Thor:....*Actually looks like you gave him the biggest revelation*

Y/n: Bruh....if you work as security at a Samsung store ....does that make you guardian of the galaxy?...*Puts the song from guardians of the galaxy-"Stuck in feeling"

Thor:....what is a guardian of the galaxy?

Y/n*Is hugging Loki's leg and looking up at him in shock*MAH GUY HOW DO YOU THROW AWAY A GARBAGE CAN?

Loki: PLEASE STOP MY BRAIN HURTS!?*Actually looks distressed from all the whiplash of thoughts your given him*

Y/n:...If you buy a bigger bed...you're are left with more bedroom but LESS bedroom!?

Buddha*Grabs You and starts to wrap you in a blanket like a baby potato*Alright goodnight you PHILOSOPHER YOU-you should be doing all that thinking in your OWN room...but anyway-*Taking you away to sleep in his room*

The Norse Pantheon was left in disarray...

Part 2 of:

[someweirdoreblogger]

One thing I really adore about Buddha is just plain unpredictable he is. That includes even the smallest aspects of him as a person.

In several ways, Buddha clearly separates from all the current Gods seen so far in RoR. One of the earliest, most simplest examples is how Buddha addresses people, or overall, just how he generally talks.

(Insert long-ass anime weeb rant below...)

This fucking guy is The Buddha, not some mere buddhist, literally The Buddha. As in, he created Buddism. Implied to also have created the spiritual concept of combining souls and bodies in RoR canon; Common Destiny.

Which, had it not existed, wouldn't make it at all possible for the Valkyires to weaponize a transformation bond with their chosen wielders.

He is one of the most important divinties on the entire planet. Capable of creating techniques able to bridge the gap between Gods and men, albeit temporarily during Ragnarök, but still obviously quite the difficult feat in RoR's very specific world.

Despite all this, Buddha doesn't talk the way everyone expects. He and Earth's real Buddha share more than their fair share of views and quotes as clearly expected, although slightly tampered.

Buddhists are known to address wisely and speak in hamony of absolute truth. They even practice a certain way of communication. Basically, it is a tone of conversation called 'the right speech', pretty self-explanatory given this is literally The Buddha we're explaining.

But no, in RoR-Buddha fucking talks like this to Loki and The Seven Lucky Gods literally sticking guns and swinging swords right in his face.

You'd think Buddha would throw on some of that sick wisdom that has moved humanity and the Buddha's loyal followers for centuries ongoing. Some random rant about the importance of faith and how murder is wrong, but nope, not what happens.

Instead Buddha spit sticks a lollipop stick up one of the Lucky Gods hand and basically tells him to suck it the fuck up and gather your shit. Like bro, do you even lift?

He talks like an American redneck, like what?

Buddha goes as far to pull the whole "holier then thou" crap on Zeus of all damn people, in front of fucking Odin. The King of The Cosmos getting told to pound sand by The Buddha is a scene I didn't expect to see.

Nor did I think I needed too.

You know The Buddha in this transition is going to be a fun character when he flips Heaven the middle finger on a daily basis, Buddha brags a lot of sass and takes no fucks.

This one will be one Hell of a ride for all readers, and that's not even mentioning his fight with Zerofuku. Buddha walks dick out and ready to show everyone their just desserts. He appears with extraordinary detail put on his personality and design appeal.

No wonder everyone loves him to bits and pieces.

Trust me, I ain't immune either.

[verdantcrimson]

Heaven and Earth / Discernment of Heaven and Earth - 9

(Unproofread)

Prev | Chapter List | Next

Koga: Oiiii, how long’re ya gonna keep chit-chattin for?

Koga: What about the recordin’? When’s that gonna start?

Keito: Oh, Oogami. Did Anzu come with you?

Souma: Have the two of you come to cheer for us?

Koga: Wonder if it counts as cheerin’, but it’s more like somethin’s naggin’ at me… Y’know you guys’ve been talkin’ my ears off about your troubles even though I never asked right?

Koga: I guess I just had to know how it turned out after hearin’ about the whole saga, ‘cause I was startin’ to lose sleep over it.

Souma: Fufu. ‘Tis far from an admirable motive, Oogami-dono.

Koga: It’s not like it’s anythin’ I gotta apologize for though. But really, are you guys doin’ alright?

Koga: From what I heard as a bystander, ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’ was this landmine of a show in big trouble, right?

Koga: Is it even possible for things to work out?

Keito: Of course. There’s no need for you to worry, Oogami, though as you already know—

Keito: I’m the kind of man that always, eventually, somehow, finds a way by the end of it all.

Koga: Hmph. That bein’ said, you still failed a bunch and made loads of mistakes.

Keito: No matter how many times I fail, I won’t give up, and as long as I keep trying I can make it work eventually. You can do anything you put your mind to.

Koga: I see. Things must seriously be tough for Kiryu-senpai and Zakki, I feel real sorry for them.

Souma: Heheh. Are you envious, Oogami-dono? ♪ 

Koga: Haaah? Did ya even hear what I just said?

Kuro: Calm down now…… Oogami had a point. Honestly, we haven’t done anythin’ to solve the problem yet.

Keito: We're going to begin the process of bringing this mess to a swift resolution, starting now.

Keito: Or rather, that’s what the prototype version of ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth R’ is for.

Koga: What’s the ‘R’ stand for?

Keito: It stands for whatever you’d like, from ‘remake’, to ‘restart’, to ‘revolution’.

Souma: Incidentally, the ‘taitoru’ and costume ‘dezaeen’ were created under the supervision of Nobunaga-sensei, who has much proven experience in the field.

Souma: The most comprehensible way in which to convey that ‘a change has occurred’ is through the changing of the ‘taitoru.’

Keito: There was also a proposal to change the title from ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’ to ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth ! ’ If that show ended up being remade too, another ‘!’ would be added, making it ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth ! !’, and so forth.

Kuro: Hard to tell the difference with that one.

Keito: Yes. So in addition to updating the title and costume design to be in line with newer trends, naturally, we’ve updated the contents as well.

Keito: The biggest change would be our role, the host.

Keito: In the old version of ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’, the host did as any host would, confined to the studio, merely asking the experts for their opinions—

Keito: Basically, all the host did was keep the discussion going.

Keito: However, in this reincarnated edition of ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth’, that is to say, ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth R’, we as the hosts will be taking a more active role.

Keito: As ‘Spirits of Light’ dispatched from the heavens, we’ll cross space and time to experience various historical events first-hand.

Koga: Hold on. There were a buncha words in there that sounded like nonsense to me, whaddya mean by ‘the heavens’?

Keito: The set-up hasn’t been completely clearly defined yet, but please think of heavens in a vague sense, as a world where gods and Buddhas reside.

Keito: These gods and Buddhas have lived there since time immemorial, watching over us humans. This is the setting.

Keito: However, due to the accumulation of disasters like war, pollution, epidemics, and the like, they foresee that the world that we humans live in is destined to die in the near future.

Keito: In order to prevent such a miserable end, the gods and Buddhas sent us, ‘Spirits of Light.’

Keito: We travel through time and involve ourselves in various historical events.

Keito: Then, we correct everything that went wrong over the course of history, and set humanity back on the right path— That’s the set-up.

Koga: Uh, somethin’ seems kinda fishy.

Keito: Yes, I’m well aware that this sort of cold-hearted language sounds like what Eichi might say in a speech.

Keito: However, having just been born, we ‘Spirits of Light’ have no reason to doubt this development principle.

Keito: So we actively try to intervene in history. For example, we’d try and prevent tragic events from occurring.

Keito: But ultimately, for the most part, our actions change nothing, and when they do, they lead to even more suffering.

Keito: During all of this, we ‘Spirits of Light’ begin to change through our interactions with various historical figures.

Keito: We begin to question if we’re doing the right thing.

Keito: And we begin to think about what history actually is.

Keito: We think, “Is it really okay to tamper with and distort the shape of it by force?”

Keito: In the midst of this, forces who are also trying to change the course of history appear and oppose us.

Keito: Questions begin to arise, and we start to wonder if perhaps the destruction of the world will be brought about by the heavens attempting to manipulate humanity to suit their will.

Keito: …… Well, there’s quite a bit that happens.

Koga: Th-That sounds kinda grand. Felt like I was listenin’ to a movie synopsis.

Keito: Dramatic, right? Since the previous version of the show was lacking in the drama department, we decided to introduce a narrative element into ‘Rumbling Heaven and Earth R.’

Keito: The narrative is further supported by our media mix strategy, through mediums like manga.

Keito: If we can get people to fall in love with the story and characters, we can attract viewers who would otherwise have no interest in complex historical tales. 

Prev | Chapter List | Next

[mythologyfolklore]

Dragon Tears - Chapter 05

Chapter Five: Idiots in love

.

As soon as the two men returned to the house, Èrláng threw his coat to the side in a rage and stomped into the living room.

Áo Bĭng couldn't help but pity the poor shmuck, who was about to be at the receiving end of the second yelling tirade today. But just as he was about to go upstairs, Èrláng made a gesture for him to stay, before dialling a number and – as soon as his call was picked up – sing-songing into the phone: “Oh, Xiăolián~ Your father would like to have a word with you~”

The prince's eyes widened. Cripes! He couldn't let Nézhā get yelled at!

But just when he was about to speak up, he was silenced by the older god holding up a finger.

Èrláng dropped the sing-song voice and spoke more sternly: “Yáng Nézhā. Why did you not tell me, that your wedding is only five months and a half from now?! … Of course that's a big deal! Do you have the faintest idea how much planning has to go into a proper wedding? This is way too short term! … Your fiancé told me! … Yes, we're talking. He's with me right now. … His father kicked him out, when he told him he's engaged to you, and he was in very bad shape, when he showed up at my home. … Don't worry, he's better now. A bit shaken from what happened, but better than last night. Do you want to speak to him?”

Áo Bĭng approached and the older man handed him the phone.

“H-hello? My fairest flower?”, he spoke into the phone.

The sweetest sound he'd heard in weeks responded: “Bĭng! My xīngān¹! Are you okay?! Why didn't you call me and tell me you needed somewhere to stay?!”

The dragon assured him: “I'm okay. My dad didn't give me time to take my phone before he threw me out, so I couldn't call you. I had to wander for eight days, but last night I came across your father's home and he was so kind as to take me in. So I'm better now, like he said.”

A sigh of relief on the other end: “Oh, thank him! I'm just so glad you're safe now! You just be comfortable, okay? I'll be there in no time! I love you, jade flower!”

Áo Bĭng smiled like a lovesick fool. “I love you too. I never want to part with you.”

Nézhā replied, sounding equally lovesick: “I never want to have to live without you. See you in a bit.”

Then he hung up.

The prince sighed happily, before turning to Èrláng, who looked slightly grossed out.

“Not a word!”, he grumbled.

“What? I merely wanted to point out, that this is the third time today, that you have said 'I never want to part with him/you'!”

“So? We're getting married! That's the whole point of marrying the person you love! Isn't that why you married the Buddha Victorious in Strife?”, Áo Bĭng clapped back.

Èrláng frowned. “No. I married him, because my uncle was trying to marry me off to a rapist and Wùkōng pointed out, that no one would be able to marry me off, if I was already married to him. And we only got an excemption from Tathagata, because the gesture was one of compassion and there is no physical desire between us. Wùkōng treats me like any good husband would treat his spouse, but he doesn't love me. Not the way I love him. Nor do I expect him to.”

“Oh.” The dragon prince felt his tail and ears droop. “I'm terribly sorry. I shouldn't have said that.”

“It's okay. He wouldn't have offered to marry me in the first place, if he didn't like me or care for me at all. Our grievances are settled and we can exist peacefully. And that's what matters, really.”

“But you do love him?”, asked the younger.

Èrláng sighed: “I do. Wùkōng was, is and always will be the only one for me. Which I can say confidently, because I'm over 4100 years old and it's been this way for almost 2000 years.”

“Awww!”

“I just told you it's one-sided!”

“So? That just makes your dedication all the more romantic! Do you know how rare such a deep love is among immortals? And I would know, I'm over 3600 years old! I cherish every instant I see of such love!”

“… I suppose you have a point. However, my view on love as a whole is very different from yours and Nézhā's.”

Áo Bĭng just barely managed not to roll his eyes, as he replied: “I know, he told me all about it.”

And frankly, what his pearl had told him had been mind-bogglingly stupid, but the dragon knew better than to say that to the face of Èrláng Shén.

The three-eyed god sighed, then suddenly smiled. “Oh, they're here!”

Just a few seconds later, there came a loud bang from the front door, a slam and foot steps coming towards the living room.

And then a very dishevelled looking Third Lotus Prince burst into the living room and right into Áo Bĭng's arms.

“My jade flower!”, Nézhā cried and hugged him tightly.

Áo Bĭng responded by purring up a storm, swishing his tail happily and snuggling the heck out of his fiancé.

The moment was interrupted by Èrláng clearing his throat.

But before the warrior god could scold them for being lovey-dovey in front of him, Nézhā let go of Áo Bĭng and glomped his father instead.

The latter let out a surprised 'oof!', before rolling his eyes and hugging back.

“How is my favourite little troublemaker doing?”, he greeted.

A new voice cried indignantly: “Ā'Jiăn! I thought I was your favourite troublemaker!”

Áo Bĭng couldn't help but clench his jaw at the sight of the Monkey King. He hadn't forgotten how that little rock skull had bullied his father and uncles into giving him all kinds of weapons and fancy gifts. And from what he had heard, enlightenment hadn't made the demonic rhesus macaque much less of a little trickster.

Èrláng on the other hand laughed and smiled at his husband: “Sorry, Great Sage. You may be the biggest troublemaker, but you can never compete with my Xiăolián in terms of favouritism.”

Sūn Wùkōng gasped and clutched his chest: “I can't believe you would do this to me! My own husband loves someone more than me! Oh, my person has been betrayed!”

“I plead guilty and I regret my crime. Can you ever forgive me?”, the True Monarch asked wryly.

The Monkey King pretended to think. “Hmmm … well, since Nézhā is your kid and a dad should always put their kids first, I suppose it can be forgiven! That and you're just too fucking beautiful to stay mad at.”

“You are so merciful, oh Buddha Victorious in Strife”, Èrláng Shén deadpanned.

“Indeed I am!”, agreed the monkey menace, before turning to Áo Bĭng (much to the latter's dismay): “Hi! You must be Áo Bĭng, Third Prince of the East Sea?”

“No, I'm just a random river dragon pretending to be Áo Bĭng for the lols”, the dragon prince replied sarcastically.

Sūn Wùkōng cackled: “Hah! You're funny! Hi! I'm Sūn Wùkōng the Monkey King, but you can also call me …”, he paused, obviously for dramatic effect, “… dad!”

The dragon prince narrowed his eyes. “Absolutely not.”

And this time it was Èrláng's and Nézhā's turn to laugh at the Monkey King's offended pout.

Eventually Èrláng pacified the little menace with a hug and gentle pets on the head, which seemed to work like a charm, as the macaque demon almost instantly melted into a puddle of content purrs in his husband's arms.

Áo Bĭng wondered; whether this was a regular monkey thing, or Èrláng was just bafflingly oblivious, when it came to demonic courting.

His dark blue eyes caught the pink ones of Nézhā and he knew they were thinking the same.

Èrláng Shén, the True Monarch, Illustrious Sage, Merciful and Miraculous Sage of the Red City; and Sūn Wùkōng, the Monkey King, Great Sage Equal to Heaven, Buddha Victorious in Strife … were fucking idiots.

.

---

.

1) xīngān: "heart and liver" (i.e. the one I can't live without)