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avelera · 7 months ago

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Theory: Why Jayce had to attack Cult Leader Viktor

It's a lot of conjecture, and I'm possibly reading more into the scene than the show intended, but I keep thinking about why Viktor abandoned Jayce in Arcane in 2.02, only to be glad to see him later and wish to meet in person. So here's what I'm thinking:

We actually got confirmation that "Sky" was the Hexcore all along.

We have Viktor saying that he left because he was "clouded by emotion". (Bookmark this one because I'm going to make the case that it was the opposite: that this moment was actually Viktor's choice and it was to protect Jayce on a subconscious level, because the Hexcore later welcomes Jayce back and wants to see him in person, in an attempt to assimilate him.)

We have some signs that there were weapons blueprints on the table, namely Cait's sniper rifle, which some fans pointed out could have been upsetting for Viktor to see, enough for him to leave. Certainly S1 Viktor was horrified by the idea of Hextech weaponry.

But, Viktor will later offer his assimilation robot army to Ambessa. And his robots are extremely effective Hextech weapons on their own, even if he sees them as peaceful assimilators, they are brutally effective in a pinch, judging just by the fact that it took Mel AND Jayce to take down Viktor's proxy robot in the Council chamber. So there is some hypocrisy shenanigans going on there with "no Hextech weapons." Unless, of course, it's Viktor who is against weapons and the Hexcore who is in favor of them, and sells the idea to Viktor by making the case that robot assimilation is a "peaceful" use of Hextech.

Now, if you go back to the Sky meta shared above, Showrunner Christian Linke says the Hexcore is the one who wants the Glorious Evolution. It's the one that wants to spread and give Viktor more power and influence. And the reason Sky took off was because its mission was done, Viktor had accepted the Glorious Evolution and the power Singed offered. It no longer needed to project "Sky" at him to string him along into doing what it wanted.

In general, there's a lot that's weird about what happens to Viktor after he leaves the lab. A man of science starting a cult is weird. The glowing footsteps he sees on the way to the shimmer victim shanty town are weird. It's notable that shimmer was what was needed for Viktor's own initial fusing with the Hexcore, so going after shimmer addicts is the perfect way to ensure that assimilation, if you're the Hexcore and you want to grow yourself.

We also have Viktor's voice which fades in and out of robotic monstrousness depending on what he's saying. It crackled over it just being "affection" keeping him and Jayce together. As the Machine Herald in 2.09, it mostly stays monstrous, but it drops down into his own voice, in a whisper without the overlay, when he calls the war around them a "senseless conflict". That feels like a true belief held by Viktor, rather than the will of a Hexcore that wants to spread, multiply, and assimilate everything.

And here's the kicker for me: why didn't Viktor heal Jayce when Jayce hugged him in that room? Jayce's wounds were pronounced and horrible from Renni's chainsaw, there's no way Viktor could have missed them. And why didn't he take the opportunity to assimilate Jayce, since they had skin to skin contact?

This is where I'd argue that it's because Viktor still was more himself at that point. And it could be argued that one reason he ran out of that room was to protect Jayce, on a subconscious level, from being assimilated.

The Hexcore-pretending-to-be-Sky needed to gradually seduce Viktor into going along with assimilation. It posed assimilation as healing, it showed Viktor the suffering of the shimmer addicts and the undercity in general. It played to Viktor's life long desire to make the world a better place, but it feels wrong because it's through mysticism rather than science.

And then, I would argue, once it had convinced Viktor to enact its plan by "healing" people to grow its power and influence, it wanted Jayce next as another addition to the cult and perhaps to incorporate one of the few people who could stop it. So it was not Viktor necessarily inviting Jayce back to the commune, it was the Hexcore posing as Viktor. I'm sure part of Viktor did want to see Jayce again, but we have to juxtapose the oddness of that moment with how Viktor soon after the transformation got as far away from Jayce as possible.

It would make sense, then if Wizard Viktor when he gave his instructions to Jayce really did need to be adamant that Jayce destroys Cult Leader Viktor rather than talk to him. Because Cult Leader Viktor was seductive, and he had just enough of real Viktor's motives and personality left to make a seductive case for Jayce that this was the way for Hextech to help the world.

So Jayce couldn't hesitate, he couldn't let Cult Leader Viktor (who is an unknowing instrument of the Hexcore's desire to expand itself) get a word in edgewise because of how quickly that Viktor could probably seduce Jayce into joining him. Hence the brutality and speed of the attack.

Because Cult Leader Viktor did have to be destroyed. The cult was never a good thing. The good that was left in Viktor was heading towards the disappointment of his ideals shortly in any case, either through running out of power, or from Ambessa's imminent attack. Jayce joining Viktor's cult would have doomed the world and the only way to keep him from joining was to fight rather than talk to Viktor, and that went against every fiber of Jayce's being, because Cult Leader Viktor was almost literally designed in a lab to get Jayce to surrender to him rather than fight him.

And I think we should be really suspicious of how freshly transformed Viktor pushed Jayce away, while Cult Leader Viktor wanted to pull him back in, especially with the implication that it was the Hexcore that wanted to assimilate Jayce in that moment, and just how effective it would have been at seducing Jayce into accepting assimilation if not for Future Viktor's explicit warning.

#jayvik #arcane #arcane meta #arcane spoilers

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sandsorghum · 10 months ago

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Clouds & Curtains

husband!Nanami x wife!reader

wc. 1.3k

summary. Perhaps Nanami's approach to...rousing you in the mornings has changed over the years.

tags. Established relationship, Domestic bliss | Romance | Smut | Body (& Soul)Worship | Mentions of Nanami wanting to be a father

a/n: Super soft, super indulgent piece. Have your cake and eat it nanami girlies. Sometimes i just need to write him a love letter ok

Prologue

Back when you'd just begun to be intimate with each other, Nanami tended to be a little embarrassed about his subconscious (but hardly subtle) desires for you. He would rather suffer his internal, infernal dilemma than disrupt your rest. But he couldn't quite control his urges, squirming between decency and depravity, not when you'd rub up against him, so innocuous and merciless.

It was a hard habit to shake; how Nanami felt he ought to earn your every quiver against him, every whimper, however much he yearned to feel you tremble at his moans at any given moment. It was codified in him, there was a time and a place and patterns to follow, before he could permit himself the pursuit of your shared pleasures.

Of course, you'd unveil him in the evenings, the privilege of your touch stripping bare the prerogatives of his flesh. You unraveled him, his reticence, his reasoning, his very capacity for speech, by braiding your breath and fingers with his, in the friction-begetting-friction tangle of your lips and limbs together.

Yet he still thinks of these mornings, that find the two of you entwined, as an undeserved luxury. So Nanami would do his best instead to focus on your face, how sweet your peaceful expression was. It would be wicked of him not to cherish this, he'd chastise himself for wanting more, for wanting to drown in your adoring gaze, for wanting to return it with his own hungry one, body and spirit beggared by the night, by the hours not spent beheld by you.

Nanami assumed the beauty and tenderness of your countenance would quell, or could sate his appetites, would tame the primal stirrings in his belly. But nothing could be further from the truth, in fact they had the opposite, compounding effect; a lump in his throat would rise, and his desperation would thicken till he could only helplessly rut his hips against you.

And then your eyelids would flutter open, and in the crease of your knowing smile, all his definitions, his distinctions, all that distance between need and greed would collapse with a single kiss.

Years later, and your husband is so absolutely shameless about his...early head starts to the day. He pulls you into him, snug against the cleft of your ass cheeks, content to let your scent and radiance seep through the thin fabric and warm him in a way the sun, in its reluctance behind the clouds and curtains, can never hope to.

He stares at the petulance drooping off the petals of your lips, rose bud coiled tight before daybreak can coax it to unfurl for strobes of gold. Nanami is a patient man, too patient you've often thought, yet you feel his phantom touch, a tender sweep of your mouth, a zephyr whispering in the wings, billowing brocade and swelling muslin, ghost pulling you through the gauze of sleep.

You shift against Nanami to hear him sigh your name, soft and distant, thick with slumber and affection and it's this which rouses you more, not merely his growing rigidity pressed to the curves of you. Although, it helps, feeling every inch of his hunger like this, in a slow swirl and pinch at your waist, the gentlest rocking as your breasts are cradled in his palms, familiar persuasion pebbling your areola. You know he dreams of them swollen with milk, that all your memories of his teeth are girded by the desire for them to be suckled by the most innocent of mouths, baring only gums and tiny wails. Your nubs stiffen and a small smile stretches across your face at the thought that with his wish to grow a family fulfilled, he might find also a small regret, of his monopoly of your mounds contested by another, to whom he owes the genesis of your body's generosity, that sweet fullness dribbling, stolen, into your husband's mouth, enticing in its envy.

This prospect of hypocrisy is to be savoured for another day, far down the road. This morning brings neither hesitation nor urgency, all syrupy light and his maple gaze, the languor of his limbs splayed around you to be treasured just as much as the gradual grind of his cock. There's a certain smugness in its slowness, as with the self-assuredness of his thumb circling a bare sliver of your skin.

A familiar motion that stirs a memory, fuchsia-tinted for the both of you. You remember your then boyfriend stammering and scarlet-tipped, matched to the rosy tips of his ears, excuses lost in the shuffle of sheets and stutter of hips.

"I-it's just-just the t-temp-ah-temperatuur," he'd slurred, the excuse as thin and transparent as the sticky film he laved across your throat, dangerously growing gossamer and feebler with every twitch and each strong buck against your body.

"Mmhmm," you'd hum, carnal ache turning you conciliatory. Such complacency. You had been the one to smirk back then, canines gleaming coy, as you offered ruin in the guise of reprieve.

"Want me to warm you up, darling?" Hands already reaching for him, mind already marveling before your fingers could be reacquainted with their hubris, his girth.

"P-please, anythin-nghing" he'd panted, all wide-eyed desperation to be devoured, sweet thing.

You'd been such a fool.

To not know not greed was a two-way street, this ravenous osmosis, this vicious ouroborous.

You think perhaps, in fact, you got the worse end of the deal, trembling against your spouse now, thighs clamped together.

"My dear," Nanami hums, a teasing timbre dripping honey as he sinks his fingers in, "always so ready for me."

You squirm, eyes screwed shut and fisting the sheets, trying to grasp the pale image of the boy who'd once writhed and blushed beneath you, a spectre all but vanquished. You miss him, sometimes.

You arch your back into Nanami, the way you know he's addicted to, just to hear him groan your name, ragged with the dregs of self-restraint or slumber, you're not sure which, but it's a close enough echo to send pleasure juddering through you, the recollection churning hot in your gut, of when he was wrapped around your finger, instead of your cunt around his.

"Sweetheart."

The tenderness of his tone pries your lids open. He doesn't have to ask, doesn't have to say anything but he does, because he knows you are too stubborn to ask for what you need to hear.

"My love."

He claims your gasp, in the crush and curl of his mouth, in the crook of his fingers.

"My girl."

Another smattering of kisses, chasing the flutters of your belly down, down, down to your creases weeping nectar. He licks a whine from you, pitching high into the air, his husky moan vibrating within you.

"My wife."

You feel the hot gust of Nanami's breath over your clit, as he pauses.

"My wife."

There's a reverence as he repeats himself, pathetic attempts to vanquish his disbelief, wonder glistening in his gold-flecked irises, staring at you in awe, searching for proof this isn't some frenzied fever dream of his.Of course, he finds it in your own unwavering eyes.

You've been such a fool.

There, in the locked gaze your shared history glimmers, that shy boy paralyzed by his worship of you, prostrate as the man before your parted legs now, offering his soul, his past, his future.

You reach for him, and he surges upwards. The collision is wave returning and rising from oceans, over and over, is starburst, is incandescence, is the fission of atoms never, ever meant to be split.

It burns away all notions of him as your acolyte or priest, any concept of deity and devotee.

"My life," he breathes into you, and you feel the throb in your ribs, the furnace of his lungs.

"My life," you repeat to your husband.

Adam. Prometheus. Kento.

This morning and many after, he lavishes you with irreverence, a ravishing of irrelevance; his goddess, his woman, his joy -all that matters is that you are his and he is yours; Together, you forge a paradise that exists for as long as the melding of your souls persist, boundless as horizons and sure as sunrises.

@houseofsolisoccasum

#nanami kento #nanami x reader #nanami smut #nanami x you #jujutsu kaisen #sandsorghum #this one was written in the throes of indulgence #if it wasn't abundantly obvious hahah #tbh im not so sure about the conclusion #if you can call it that #but the details of the finish is besides the point #to demonstrate how infinite the passion is #altho i sure would like a forecast of when this obsession of mine with nanami will pass #because it aches #it's so heavy #how do ppl survive this irl i have no idea

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badkitty3000 · 1 year ago

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Weak

Even Five Hargreeves is no stranger to temptation. He tries so hard to stay away. He wants to do the right thing for once in his life. If not for himself, then for her. But every man has his breaking point.

Five Hargreeves x Reader Smut

This one shot is an accompaniment to my other work "Addicted". This can be read on its own, but is a different side of the story, as told from Five's point of view.

My Master List Of Number Five Fanfiction

Weak:

I never meant to take it this far. I never meant to be cruel. That’s not who I am, or at least I didn’t think I was. I also thought I was strong and had will power. But I guess I was wrong about that, too. Because as much as I try to stay away, I don’t.

I know who I am and what I’m made of. The terrible things I’ve done. That’s not a secret and I’ve never lied to myself about that. My morals can’t even be called a gray area anymore; they’re more like an indistinct blur. But in this one tiny part of my soul, I was trying to be better. For her, at least.

I have failed miserably.

She knows what I am. When things got too comfortable and too familiar, I told her as a way to push her away and to scare her. It didn’t work, though. In fact, it had the opposite effect. She fucking loved it…and I didn’t know how to say no to that.

How could I say no when she was tearing at my clothes, practically panting with desire, and shoving her hand down my pants? All over a bloody stain on a shirt collar and the feel of my Glock against her skin. I’m sure there’s a way to resist that, but fuck if I know what it is. I’m not smart enough or strong enough to figure that one out.

I don’t particularly like all of the killing. But I’m pretty fucking good at it and someone has to do it, I suppose. I certainly never considered it sexy in any way. Then, after that first time, when she begged me to tell her all of the gruesome details, and I watched her skin start to flush and her pupils dilate…well, fuck, that put a new spin on everything.

I still don’t like it, that part hasn’t changed. I get no pleasure from pulling that trigger and watching their skull break open like a fucking pinata, spraying the contents of their brains all over the floor like the world’s worst party game. Now, however, there is a sick little spark that will ignite in me after it’s done. Because I know how it will turn her on.

And, fuck, I am weak.

That’s what this all boils down to. Weakness. For most people that meet me or know me in any way, weak is probably the last word they would use to describe me. Cold; bitter; sarcastic; asshole. Those adjectives are much more likely to be used. But weak? Doubtful.

I know the truth, though. Deep down, that is what I am. Because when you continue to break someone’s heart time and time again, just because you can’t control your own basic urges…that’s weakness. Pure and simple.

She has told me how much I’ve hurt her, and how much I am ruining her life. She has screamed and cried and told me all of the things I know I deserve to hear. She has called me an asshole more times than I can remember, and I have never disputed it. So, I stay away, like I know I should. Until she inevitably calls again. And I slip right back into it without another thought. Like the absolute fucking bastard that I am.

Weak.

Because even though I know it’s wrong and I’m slowly poisoning her with my selfishness, each time I think maybe it will be different. Maybe this time will be the time when I stay. When I will finally be the person I should be and really want to be.

All the way up until the early morning, I will convince myself that this is it. I’ve finally seen the light and I can be the man she deserves; it will be so easy. Because when it’s just the two of us, in our own little cocoon, hidden away from the outside world, the idea is magical. I would give anything to stay there, tucked away, fucking like animals until we’re both too exhausted to talk anymore. I want to stay there and listen to her voice, and her laugh, and feel her hands on my touch-starved body. And I think, yes, this is it. This is what I want.

Then morning comes and the spell is broken.

Once that first peek of dawn starts to light up the sky, all of my anxieties come rushing back, and I remember why I can’t stay. Morning brings back the real world, and with it all of its problems.

I will freeze up, practically paralyzed with fear, as she sleeps next to me, an arm draped over my chest. I will remember what kind of person I really am, and how that just doesn’t translate to boyfriend material. And it’s not just the little fact that I am a hired assassin, although that does put a slight snag in any future meetings with parents and the like.

It’s the mixing bowl of fucked up thoughts and feelings and history that lives inside my brain. Guilt. Regret. Sadness. Rage. Take your pick, none of them are great. And I can mask them for a night or two, while I’m pretending to be someone I’m not. But they will come back again, and that’s just not something anyone needs. Especially someone you care about.

So, I do the worst, shittiest thing in the world, and leave while she’s asleep. No kiss goodbye. No note. Not even a quick morning fuck. I grab my shit and leave in a flash of blue light, like the weak coward I am. Can’t even bother to use the god damn door.

I will stay away after that. At least for a while. I will ignore the incoming texts and voice mails that sometimes will follow, and sometimes don’t. I’ll pretend I don’t care about the lectures and pleas and rightly-deserved insults. But I do care. And that’s why I won’t answer.

A month might go past, maybe more. Just enough time for me to start thinking she really is done with me. Then the call will come through, late at night, and I won’t ignore it. Because, as we’ve determined…I am weak.

She is the only one, although I’ve never told her that and I bet she thinks she’s not. I’m not interested in anyone else. I don’t need anyone else. And when she stops calling for good, which one day I know will happen, that will be it. It’s either her or nobody. And it’s barely even her.

Our paths almost never cross outside of our little midnight meetings. After that first night when all of this started, I’ve never seen her anywhere else besides her apartment. I assume it’s because the types of bars and clubs I frequent are not anywhere a normal, sane person would want to spend their free evenings. But tonight, as fate would have it, I do see her. After I grab my drink off the cracked and peeling bar top and turn to look at the room behind me, I see her. And she’s not alone.

With my glass half way to my mouth, our eyes meet, and for a second neither of us move. It’s not a big place, so we aren’t that far away from one another. But it’s loud and crowded, and the guy is leaning in close to her ear, talking loudly to be heard over the constant bass thumping through the shitty speakers on the walls. Who the fuck is this guy?

It’s not fair, I know that. Believe me, I know that. And I try to give myself a stern talking-to inside my head. She is not yours. Not even remotely. You are an asshole and she deserves better. Leave her the fuck alone.

I take a drink. And then I see his hand disappear under the table, and I can see everything from where I’m standing. He’s squeezing her thigh, leaving his hand there to rest on her leg, rubbing his thumb across the bare skin that isn’t covered by her short skirt. A skirt I know I’ve had my face under before.

Fuck. I hate this guy.

In the thirty seconds that it takes for all of this to happen, she is watching me. Reading me. A faint smile plays on her lips and I know I’m caught. My thoughts must be written all over my face like a fucking billboard, and it’s too late to pretend I haven’t seen or that I don’t care. She’s got me.

If I were stronger, or a better person, I would leave. Pay my tab, collect my coat, and get the fuck out of there without another glance in her direction. Leave her be. Let her live her fucking life. But I am not. And I’m pissed.

My first instinct is to reach behind me, grab the Glock that’s hidden in the waistband of my pants and covered up by my suit jacket, and take care of this asshole right then and there. That would probably be the nicer thing to do, honestly. Then she’d finally see what a fucking psycho I am and that would end things once and for all. But I’m also not that stupid. Or that nice.

Instead, I stay and watch. I let her see me watching, too. I lean with my back against the bar, casually sipping my drink, and my eyes never leave her. I want her to know, even if it makes me more of a giant dick than I already am. I want her to know I am not pleased.

I have no idea who this guy is, and I don’t care. Maybe it’s their first date; maybe it’s their tenth. It doesn’t matter, I want him dead. And now that she knows that, because it’s pretty fucking obvious by the way I’m coiled like a cobra ready to strike right now, it’s quickly become a game. If she had feelings for him before, that seems to have been forgotten now. Because everything she is doing is for me.

Her eyes leave mine and she returns to what I can only imagine is a very dull conversation with the Neanderthal sitting next to her. She smiles and laughs, and moves her leg closer to his so that they are touching. She reaches up and fixes his hair, tucking a stray piece of it over his ear. She rests her chin on her hand and stares at him like he’s the most interesting person she’s ever encountered. And he’s eating this shit up; kicking his game up a notch with even more inane talk and rubbing her thigh up and down with his whole hand. He thinks she’s into him. Fucking dumbass.

That’s the only thing keeping me slightly calm at the moment. Knowing it’s all a play. She is a really good actress, I’ll give her that, but I’ve paid more attention to her than she realizes. I know her tells. I know the difference between her fake laugh and her real one. I can tell when she’s actively engaged in the conversation or she is just waiting for you to shut up. I know how she touches her face when she’s nervous and I know what she looks like when she wants to fuck you.

And, buddy…I got bad news for you.

The corner of my mouth lifts in an arrogant smirk as I take another drink. I shouldn’t be proud of this; I should be appalled. How dare I think I have any right to any of her little traits and quirks? I haven’t earned that. That kind of thing is reserved for boyfriends and husbands and people that can stand to stick around for more than a few hours.

When she runs her tongue over her lips in an obvious gesture meant only for me, I actually laugh out loud. Fuck, she knows what she’s doing. And it’s one hundred percent working.

As I order my second drink, feeling the calming buzz of the booze fill my brain, I start to care less and less. I don’t care if this is not fair. I don’t care that I’m being a complete and utter shit head. I don’t care if I’m weak. I’ll deal with all of that later.

I take out my phone and type out a quick text.

Enjoying yourself?

I watch as she glances to her phone on the table as it lights up. She picks it up, angling it away from Caveman Cliff, and reads it. It’s subtle, but I saw it. A brief twitch of her mouth and a quick flit of her eyes in my direction. I see her type out a quick reply and then she is back to him, completely enrapt in his droning.

Immensely, thank you

Not able to resist, I counter with:

Even I can tell from way over here that your panties are as dry as the desert

She holds in a smile as she responds back.

Too bad you’re not going to find out

Honey, if that pussy of yours is even slightly wet, it’s only because you’re thinking of me bending you over that table you’re sitting at right now

I see her legs shift and she crosses one over the other, squeezing them together as a faint blush covers her cheeks.

And why would I be thinking that?

Because that dipshit you’re with isn’t going to give you what I know you want

I watch as she swallows and then glances at the idiot to her left that is oblivious to all of this, the poor bastard. Her response is short.

Fuck you

She puts her phone away to end this exchange, but I see the small smile she is trying to hide and the way she touches her hand to her face. I can see her chest expand as she sucks in a deep breath, biting at the inside of her cheek.

I give a short snort of satisfaction and put my phone back in my inside jacket pocket. I got what I wanted. I throw back the rest of my drink, leave a few dollars for a tip, and head for the door without another look in her direction. But I know she saw me leave.

As I wait there in the dark, I think about how awful I’m being; what a shit bag move this is. I’m using her, that’s what it boils down to. Using her for her warmth and her openness, and to temporarily calm my mind. Also, for her body and her touch. She sees something in me that isn’t there; or at least something I can’t see. But I can’t or won’t give her what she needs, and I’m also not letting her move on.

Fuck, I’m an asshole.

I hear their voices coming down the hall, the rattle of keys in her hand. As they near the door, I can hear her made up excuses. She’s tired; she had too much to drink; she has a headache. Maybe next time. She’ll call him tomorrow. Then she slips inside her darkened apartment and the door closes behind her.

I’m on her before she has a chance to turn the light on, pressing her against the door as she drops her keys on the floor. Since I’ve been waiting, the anticipation has already made me fully hard and I push my groin into her while I circle my hand lightly around her neck.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart? No love connection tonight?” I growl next to her ear.

She never even screams or fights back. She knew I would be there. But her hands grab my forearm and I hear her suck in a loud breath.

“I never knew you were the jealous type,” she smarts back.

“Only when I see someone try to take what’s mine,” I hiss hotly against her neck, drawing my lips and then my tongue across her skin.

“I’m not your fucking property,” she snarls, but I can hear the break in her voice and she swallows hard against my hand.

I laugh cynically. “Well, then I can go and you can let him fuck you instead. Is that what you want?”

There’s a long pause and it’s just our loud breathing in the dark of the room. Then I feel her head move slowly from side to side.

“No,” she whispers.

As I crash my mouth onto hers, my hands in her hair and on her face, and down to her tits, she is reaching for the front of my pants. I had already removed my jacket and belt when I got there, as well as the pistol that I always carry with me. Our little act back at the bar was already enough foreplay and our bodies are screaming for each other.

Our hands can’t work fast enough as she is shoving my pants down my legs and tearing my shirt open while I rip her top off and yank her skirt up. My fingers are already pushing her panties to the side and entering her, sliding right in with no resistance.

I smile proudly against her neck. “I knew you were wet for me.”

As she moans and throws her head back, she is reaching down to stroke my cock, her warm hand tight and firm as she drags it slowly over my shaft.

My hips are already jerking into her and I want to be inside of her so badly I can’t think straight.

“Get these panties off so I can fuck you,” I snarl.

I pull my fingers out, pushing her underwear down roughly and she quickly steps out of them. With one pull of her hips into me, her arms clutching tightly to my shoulders, I lift her up and start fucking her against the door.

I tip my head back and groan loudly as she whines and pulls her legs tighter around my waist.

“Can he make you feel this good?” I ask between clenched teeth as I ram into her harder and the door rattles in its frame.

“No!” she cries out.

“Do you think about him when you’re alone and fingering yourself?”

Her moans are punctuated by the slamming of my body against hers and her fingers press deeper into my skin.

“No,” she breathes out. “No.”

“You think about me, don’t you?” I say with a sneer. When she doesn’t answer fast enough, I ask again, louder. “Don’t you?”

“Yes,” she whimpers pitifully, her nails digging sharply into my shoulder blades.

I can’t believe what I’m saying and what I’m doing. But she’s loving it and so I continue.

“I’m going to fuck you until you forget all about him, and then I’m going to fuck you some more. And if I ever see you with him again, I will kill him.”

“You wanted to kill him, didn’t you?” she asks, and that knowing smile starts to form as she closes her eyes and bites her lip. “When you saw him with me?”

“Fuck yes I did,” I groan loudly into her neck.

She’s almost there, I can tell. So am I, but I’m going to make her finish first. I pick up the pace, thrusting into her as hard as I can, her back and head slamming against the door, my fingers digging deeper into the flesh of her thighs and ass. I’m practically ripping into the side of her neck, latching on with my mouth and teeth, desperate to mark her as my own.

I listen as she repeats my name over and over in gasps and moans and I can’t hold back anymore.

“That’s it, sweetheart. You are all mine.”

She is falling apart in my arms, violently shaking against me as I penetrate her one last time, letting out a loud, guttural moan. I’m as deep inside of her as I can be, and I fill her up with so much cum, I know it will start sliding out; dripping down her legs and onto the floor. Somewhere deep inside, in the primordial part of my brain, I take satisfaction in knowing that it’s my seed, and only mine, that is coating her insides.

Once the last spasm has left my body, I let her down and she falls back against the door, breathing hard. Her bra is still on, but the straps have fallen down, and her skirt is bunched up around her waist. I look at the painful looking purple bruise I left on her neck, which is large enough and obvious enough that she won’t be able to cover it. Her eye makeup is smeared and her lips are swollen and red. She looks completely ravished. And then she starts to cry.

It’s because of me, I know it is. Because of the things I said and the things I did, and the way I needed her so desperately. She had been trying to break away from me and I reeled her back in. And I did it knowingly and deliberately, just to feed my ego and maybe not feel so alone. I could have found anyone for that. But, like the prick I am, I only wanted her.

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, my lungs still working hard to get air in and out.

She just nods silently, wiping her face with her hand, and pulls down her skirt. She picks her shirt and underwear off the floor and heads to the bathroom without a word. I’m left standing there with a softening dick and my pants around my ankles.

Fuck.

I could leave now, while she’s in there, and maybe I should. That feels wrong, though. But then again, so does staying. I feel like shit and I’m so full of shame that I want to punch my fist through the wall. Instead, I zip my pants back up and walk over to her couch to wait. I turn on the table lamp and even though it’s dim, it feels blaringly bright and I have to squint my eyes.

When she comes out, she has changed into some soft shorts and a t-shirt. Her face is cleaned up and I assume her thighs and the area between them are too. She is no longer crying, but I can still see the tell-tale signs of red-rimmed eyes and flushed cheeks. I’m surprised when she comes and sits down next to me, laying her head on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” I say again, because I can’t think of anything better to say.

“I know. Me too,” she says and she leans her body against mine.

She has nothing to be sorry for and I’m not sure what to do, so I put my arm around her and hug her to me. I kiss her forehead and she closes her eyes. I don’t know why she’s letting me do this, but it feels good and I like it. Just like every other time, I tell myself that maybe this time will be different. I can do this; I can be that person. I don’t want to be that other jealous, callous, hurtful person. I don’t want to be the asshole.

“Just don’t go yet, ok?” she says quietly with her cheek resting against my chest.

I smooth her hair and run my hand down her back. I don’t want to go. She feels good and warm and soft against my tension-filled body. She feels right. I want to tell her all of that, too. I want to say I’m sorry a million times over and beg for her forgiveness. I want to wake up with her next to me every day.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” I murmur into her hair as I brush my chin across the top of her head.

“Don’t do that,” she pleads, her voice soft. “Please.”

I decide I’m going to tell her how I really feel. Before the night is over, I’ll come clean. And then I’ll stay. If she’ll still have me.

“You are, though. I mean it.”

She doesn’t respond, but sighs and nestles in, holding me around my waist. Fuck, I have craved this. More than the dirty talk and the biting and the ferocious fucking. I want this. I want her. And I’m going to tell her.

The rest of the night goes by in a blur. It’s there, on the tip of my tongue the whole time. All I have to do is say it. But I don’t.

We fuck again, rough and hard, on the couch and on the floor. I leave more marks on her chest, branding her as my own. I tell her she’s mine, and I make her scream my name again, but I don’t say what I really mean.

We fuck in her bed, while we’re both tired and slightly drunk. I pump lazily into her while she lies underneath me and moans softly. I kiss her lips and tell her how gorgeous she is, and it’s not a lie because she is. I worship her body, running my tongue over every part of it, tasting her skin and her delicious arousal. I can taste my own cum as I lick into her soft folds and inside her pussy that’s been stretched and abused by my cock several times over.

There are so many opportunities and I don’t take any of them. I let her fold her body into mine as I hold her in the dark and I can say it right now. It would be easy and it would be the truth.

I want to be with you.

I want to be yours.

I want you to be mine and mine alone.

I want to stay.

But I am weak, and so I don’t.

She sleeps against me and I listen to her rhythmic breathing while I lie there wide awake. I think about all of the things I should have said. Everything I should have done and should not have done. I hate myself for all of it.

When the sun creeps in, and the faintest light is leaking through the curtains and cutting through the safety of the darkness, it all comes crashing back. I remember why I can’t stay and why those words just wouldn’t come out. The reality of the real world is glaringly obvious in the light of day and I remember all of it.

The real world is filled with everyday things like jobs and homes and bills to pay. Coworkers and families that want to meet you. Graduation and birthday parties. Movie and dinner dates, holidays and vacations. Marriage. Children. Normalcy.

There’s just no way any of that would work. I can’t fit into that life, even though I want to. I think of all of the things holding me back and they keep piling up until they are crushing me and I feel like I can’t breathe.

I am an assassin. A killer. A murderer. I have seen the end of the world and survived the most horrific things. I have PTSD and crippling anxiety. There are nightmares and paranoia and episodes of manic rage. I am old and I am tired. There is nothing left of me and nothing left to give. I am not meant for normalcy.

As I slowly remove her arm from across my chest, she stirs but she doesn’t wake. I take a moment to look at her. Her mind isn’t betraying her with vivid dreams of the world collapsing around her in a fiery blaze or sprays of bullets piercing her body. She is at peace and I am envious of that.

I am not good for her, I know that. I need to go and stay gone. She deserves stability and happiness and a million other things I cannot give her. So, I will be the asshole that leaves in the morning before she wakes, just like I always do. She will hate me and curse me and cry for me. And I will stay away this time. I have to.

I chance it by leaning in and brushing my lips across her forehead. Her face wrinkles up and then relaxes again, but she doesn’t wake. I slip out of the bed and out of the room, following the trail of discarded clothes and put them back on one by one. Then I am gone in the same flash of light that allowed me to enter there in the first place. A convenient exit that I have misused way too many times.

Outside, the sun is bright and the world is waking up. I can feel my resolve growing stronger as the new day builds. That was it, I am done. It was awful and I shouldn’t have done it, but it’s over now and I will not be repeating it. I am a pillar of inner strength. That was the last time and she is finally free of me. I am doing the right thing.

My strength is impressive, both inside and out. But it is not impenetrable, especially when darkness falls and the world around me grows quiet. When I am alone with nothing but my thoughts, and I just need to feel something good again.

Everyone has a weakness.

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doumadono · 1 year ago

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Hello, princess!

Since Sinful Sunday is here and its been a while from my last time spawing in your inbox... YOUR WOLF IS HERE 🐺💎🩵

As we all know: dragons are often showed with two 🍆 so...

I can't stop but think about our beloved Iudex of Fontaine, just giving his lovely assistant a good duble stuffing into her tiny cunt. With him whispering soft and dirty stuff into her ear while his hand just caressing the bulge he caused in her belly

:3 HAPPY SINFUL SUNDAYS EVERYONE

SINFUL SUNDAY

A/N: well, well, my babygirl! Why is it that your requests always turn out to be the real brain-busters, huh!? But hey, tackling Neuvilette in dragon form was a blast 😏 I'm hoping I did well, so go easy on me, will ya?

Neuvilette loathed this monthly occurrence. While not a regular happening, his heats sporadically struck after each interlunar interval. This left him in an intense state of longing, coupled with a rather sour mood, given the frustration of unmet desires. Throughout this period, he confined himself to his chambers, enduring the discomfort until the fervor and accompanying torment subsided.

During his heats, Neuvilette found solace in transforming into a dragon. It made resisting the temptation to copulate with every woman in his path a whole lot easier for him.

For extended hours, he'd find solace in grinding his hips against his pillows and sheets, attempting to alleviate the persistent discomfort of his arousal that created a painful knot within his groin. The effectiveness varied — sometimes it brought relief, and other times, it offered no respite whatsoever.

With a wide yawn revealing numerous long teeth, a colossal head adorned in pale blue frills lifted itself. The snake-like body, embellished in iridescent scales, boasted a chest adorned with a mane of transparent fur. Enormous, clawed fists rhythmically clenched and relaxed as the dragon effortlessly rose to his feet, a massive tail gracefully swinging in its wake. The creature's dark blue eyes blinked open, while his nostrils expanded to welcome a fresh scent of human into his awareness.

His thin lips curled as the hydro dragon shifted his gaze to the opposite side of the expansive chamber where he rested, emitting a loud sniff. The scent conveyed the presence of a woman – fairly young and with other unspoken needs. His eyes narrowed into glowing slits as he navigated the corner of his bedroom, spotting the silhouette by his desk diligently assembling documents. Another quick sniff and a subtle grin played on his lips - he recognized the familiar scent. It was Y/N, one of his most reliable assistants, apparently delivering another set of documents for his signature.

Brave or foolish, maybe a bit of both, stepping into this place during this time of the month, the dragon mused to himself with a deep rumble in his voice.

The dragon glided closer with cautious steps, his sinuous body gracefully twisting around you.

Unaware of his approach, you continued to hum a gentle melody under your breath. A sudden awareness dawned as you perceived a looming shadow. Startled, you raised your head and attempted to wriggle away. "Monsieur Neuvilette!" you exclaimed, hand over your chest. "Good gracious, you startled me! I had no idea you were in your chamber, monsieur."

"Please, be calm," the dragon murmured in a soothing tone, "I have no wish to harm you, dearest Y/N."

"I… didn't know I would wake you up, I didn't want to disturb your peace," you stammered after an uneasy pause, your eyes unwavering. The marvel at the sight of Neuvilette was twofold – a mix of awe and a hint of fear regarding his possible reaction to your intrusion. Indeed, Neuvilette was a magnificent creature! The glisten of his smooth blueish-white scales, the cascade of a silky white mane adorning his head, and the kindness reflected in his dark marine blue eyes were as breathtaking as the legends and paintings had portrayed.

"Solitude suits me, indeed," the dragon replied, his nostrils subtly flaring. "Especially during my heats. But I assume you've brought me some crucial documents, haven't you, my dearest?"

His thick tail coiled gently around your legs, offering a comforting warmth that eased your tension. "Y-Yes, monsieur. They need to be signed by tomorrow… Can I somehow repay for bothering you and waking you up, monsieur?" you asked, your words slipping out before careful consideration.

In those immense eyes, you observed a dance of emotions. The dragon appeared to ponder, deeply inhaling the air as his head lifted, pointing towards the ceiling. "I suppose… there is a way you could serve me, my dearest Y/N. But fear not, it demands no great effort on your part — only a willingnes."

"What do you mean, monsieur Neuvilette?" you inquired, tilting your head slightly. The tail encircling your legs tightened, a hint of your tension causing the massive creature to pause.

Neuvilette brought his face inches from yours, his voice carrying a gentle plea. "What I seek from you is your willingness to share this night with me, my dearest. Will you, just for tonight, play the role of my mate?"

In an instant, all color drained from your face. Your mouth opened, yet no words found their way out, and the dragon drew you closer to his shredded, scaled chest in response.

"You need not fear any harm," the dragon reassured, once again delicately sniffing you as during the initial examination. "I shall be gentle. My kind has mated with humans in the past. I assure you," a claw gently lifted your chin while another stroked your throat, "this night will leave you with naught but a delightful memory."

With a deep sigh, you closed your eyes, and as you reopened them, your pants were neatly folded on the floor. Your white shirt and underclothes soon joined them as you undressed, your heart pounding within your chest.

The dragon's lips curled into a fanged smile, and a long tongue emerged, briefly caressing your cheek. It was warm and slick, yet not unpleasant. "Wonderful," the dragon bemurmured, observing your nervous smile. Once more, the tongue glided over your cheek, this time lingering for a longer moment. "It's been ages since I've had the fortune of a human woman in my bed, especially one as lovely as yourself, dearest Y/N."

"Thank you," you whispered, a blush gracing your features as you briefly shielded your bare breasts with folded arms.

He nudged your side with his snout, a signal for you to venture deeper into the chamber, a cue you promptly followed.

He gestured for you to recline on a king-sized bed, dressed in deep cobalt sheets and adorned with pristine white pillows. Without hesitation, you complied, gently pressing your thighs together and allowing your hands to gracefully depart from your chest.

Soon, Neuvilette's nose and mouth roamed across your form, exploring with snuffs, licks, and playful nips in various places.

Already tantalized by the affectionate gestures, your arousal heightened as the dragon shifted to all fours, hovering over your naked form. You observed something stout emerging from behind his muscular hind legs, a few drops of thick fluid trailing from it as he leaned forward. The dragon now stood over his claim, a half-open mouth revealing a tongue, and marine blue eyes narrowing in a moment of intensity.

"Ah, the agony of not enjoying this every night," the dragon rumbled, your fingers tracing his shaft. It matched the length of your forearm and doubled in girth, pulsating with an enticing energy beneath the soft moonlight streaming through the chamber's ceiling window. Imagining it nestled between your thighs, your core tightened and grew moist in response.

But then, a peculiar sensation gripped you. Casting him a questioning glance, the dragon responded with a knowing smile.

"Indeed, my dearest Y/N, the legends harbored a kernel of truth. Dragons do possess two cocks."

Swiftly, you rested on one elbow, your gaze naturally drawn between his muscular hind legs. A deep blush painted your cheeks as you discovered yet another erect member, pulsating with equal fervor as the first.

Neuvilette's warm tongue traced delicately along the valley between your breasts. "Do you like what you see, my dearest?"

"Yes, monsieur, I just never thought…" you murmured, your lips barely moving.

Swiftly adopting a stance akin to the dragon looming overhead, you took a calming breath and shut your eyes after getting on all fours on the bed.

The outsized dragon pressed his yet-turgid shafts against the expanse of your soft thighs, emitting a low moan as his jaws hovered threateningly over your bare shoulder, teeth grazing without leaving a trace. In a prolonged hiss, the dragon murmured, "How shall I claim you, my dearest? With gentle tenderness or the full extent of my might? Whichever way you wish it, so shall it be."

"I'll take whatever you've got, monsieur Neuvilette," you replied, casting a bold glance over your shoulder at the pulsating dicks.

Their tips were now slick with a dense, creamy fluid, and a shiver ran through you as they glided between your thighs, offering a preview of the impending encounter.

A couple more deep, resonant breaths, a hefty grunt, and the first dragon's shaft eased halfway in your waiting, already drenched slit.

Your eyes instinctively closed, a gasp escaping you, not from pain, but from the unexpected heat emanating from his dick. It felt as though all the dragon's potent warmth converged right there, in his throbbing, large shaft. Every slight motion was accompanied by loud, wet sounds, the dragon adjusting his position with his nose hovering close to the pillow on your right. He harnessed his strength in his hind legs, delivering a forceful thrust that had you crying out for more.

"O-Oh! Goodness gracious! How's that even possible? That you fit in?!!"

Neuvilette chuckled softly, his voice taking on a guttural quality as he quickened his thrusting pace. "You see, my dearest Y/N, I've mentioned before that my kind has mated with humans. How did you think that was possible if you, females, wouldn't be able to accommodate our shafts?"

Each successive thrust grew more potent, propelling additional lengths of the deep blue, rigid flesh into your dripping pussy from behind. The viscous fluid flowed generously out of your abused core, trailing down your parted legs while the shaft pulsated relentlessly, gaining intensity with each beat, akin to a powerful heartbeat.

In an instant, a loud squeak escaped your lips as you sensed a more insistent pressure against your occupied entrance. Glancing over your shoulder, your expression paled at the sight of Neuvilette attempting to maneuver his other dick in. "Neuvilette! You're going to tear me apart!" you gasped, your eyes welling up with the nearly overwhelming pleasure he was already bestowing upon you as his thick cock rubbed along all of your sweet spots.

"Ease up, my dearest Y/N," Neuvilette murmured, smoothly almost fully withdrawing his first shaft before seamlessly layering the second one atop the first and slowly pushing back into you.

Your hands surrendered as he executed the forceful thrust, and the initial stretch proved excruciating. It felt like a searing burn in those first moments, leaving you growling and panting uncontrollably, tears straining your flushed cheeks pressed hardly into the mattress.

"There, there, relax, and you'll manage," Neuvilette coaxed in the gentlest tone he could summon. "Stop tightening up, try to ease your pelvis. Yes, just like that," he praised as you eventually succeeded in relaxing your muscles enough for him to bottom out.

The dragon's tail lifted off the bed, and Neuvilette let out a growl followed by a resounding roar. Heat surged within him as his powerful thrusts, almost forceful enough to break the small human form nestled between his colossal legs, intensified.

Gasping for breath, you'd already experienced a shattering climax and teetered on the brink of another. Your entire body dripped with sweat, and drool hung from your parted lips. The pleasure unleashed by this formidable dragon surpassed anything you could have audaciously imagined. "Neuvilette!" your voice rasped as you cum for another time; your inner walls spasmed uncontrollably around his throbbing, painfully hard shafts.

With one last, hard push, Neuvilette pressed you firmly onto the mattress, grasping the meat of your stuck out ass. A gush of heated, sticky cum erupted from his throbbing dicks, followed by a second, and ultimately a gentler third wave, marking the hydro dragon's descent into exhaustion after intense sex, his breaths now feeble and hurried.

Beneath him, you lay in a state of bliss, your entire body shaking and tingling. Your sticky pussy radiated warmth, and the powerful twinges and aftershocks of an already remarkable climaxes created an unforgettable sensation, unlike anything you had ever experienced in your entire life.

"Thank you, my dearest Y/N," Neuvilette whispered, and you nodded. "Thank you for helping me shake off the tension that's been hanging around for days," he admitted, lying on the bed next to you. He casually draped his long tail over your legs while you reclined beside him on your back.

Then, impulsively playful, you rolled to your side and planted a quick kiss on his bluish snout.

The dragon chuckled, his resonant voice emanating from his robust chest. "Aren't you the cutest assistant, my dearest Y/N?" he mused, yawning widely, revealing rows of perfectly sharp fangs.

You lay there for a moment, catching your breath. "Neuvilette…"

The dragon's dark eyes found yours, and he nodded, granting you permission to speak.

"Would you… I mean, forgive me for the strange question, but maybe next time your heat occurs, perhaps you would need some help too?" you asked shyly, your cheeks turning beet red.

His marine-blue irises shimmered with tenderness as he hummed, contemplating your words. "Little Y/N," he smiled, drawing closer and resting his snout on your naked belly, his gaze meeting your flushed face. "I'll be honored to accept aid from the only one I trust the most." He sniffed and grinned, casting a sly glance toward your glistening mound on his left. "I adore your scent," he confessed, casually bestowing a few gentle licks upon your folds glistening with mixed releases with his warm, extended tongue. "And you taste absolutely delicious, my dearest. Oh, my, my, I'll struggle to wait for the next heat to savor your essence once more, to assert my claim on you. Perhaps then, I'll allow you a glimpse of my human form, in all its vulnerable splendor."

#doumadonos sinful sunday 🔥#sinful sunday #neuvilette genshin #neuvilette x reader #neuvillette #neuvilette smut #neuvilette x you #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #dragon neuvillette #genshin neuvillette #neuvilette x y/n #anime smut #genshin smut #genshin x reader #genshin x reader smut #genshin impact neuvilette #divider by cafekitsune #genshin x you

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alien-til-i-stage · 11 months ago

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so something i dont see much online is how similar hyuna and luka actually are.

When we meet Hyuna, we get introduced to how upbeat and her free spirited personality, both in how she acts and in the song.

This in particular speaks almost in entirely of freedom and the desire for it. She sings about living her life for her and “a bird set free”. As obvious from her being rebel, everything points to how she desires freedom from the aliens and control over how she lives her life. We can also see this in a comic where she says the reason she enjoys singing is because on the stage she’s the one in control.

Already from a young age, control is something she has wanted, over her own life and her performances. And for her saying this, I think its even more interesting if we look back at All In. The majority the song takes place both in a bar where Hyuna is singing or the mission both Hyuna and Mizi are doing.

We already know that Hyuna likes to sing to feel the control over the stage when she’s there but I find it interesting that, yet again, the entirety of the episode was her demonstrating her freedom and control. There were even moments with her on stage remembering Luka and Hyunwoo and continuing to frantically continue singing as if trying to run away from them.

This could mean that rather than her just singing out of enjoyment of her control, she’s on that stage for the control. Almost like she’s desperately clinging onto that feeling to remind herself that she’s not weak, to run away from her helplessness as a child. Another reason for her to be on as many missions as she was shown to be, maybe another way to prove to herself she has the control and power now, not the aliens.

we can continue to see mentions of her trying to escape her memories in the song “Drunk and Party” as she says “I don’t wanna go back, everybody listen.”

Essentially Hyuna uses her own stage as a way to regain her control as well as her missions. Which is where Luka comes in.

In the same comic where Hyuna speaks about control on the stage, we see Luka as an adult on the stage as well, most likely during the 49th season.

It looks almost like hes remembering Hyuna’s words from when they were both children, which indicates that Hyuna’s reponse effected him.

In an interview about round 5, someone asked why Luka imitated Sua, and here is the response that was given.

Its told that Luka does this, not to win, but to feel control and dominance. Unlike Hyuna, who has many ways to feel this way and demonstrates it in almost every way of her lifestyle, this is the only way for him to do so. He is literally a puppet except for when he’s on stage.

The reason for Hyuna’s response being so important to him is likely that Hyuna’s attitude about singing effected his own. In the comic, kid Luka seemed curious about Hyuna finding control on the stage, showing that at that point Luka didn’t view the stage the same, so its likely that after their talk, Luka began to view the stage as a way to control.

This is how the two of them are similar, yet opposites. They both desire control and dominance in their lives and dedicate themselves to it, yet while Hyuna lives a life where she can easily do that, she feels no need to hurt others in order to do so, rather able to choose to help them as a way to feel powerful, but Luka doesn’t have that same choice. He lives life as a puppet, with no other way for control. His only way to feel in control is on the stage, so he takes his chance to and hurts the other contestant, purposely trying to hurt them as much as possible just because he can.

I truly believe that had their situations been reversed, where Luka was instead the purpose who got to leave while Hyuna stayed behind, theres a chance they couldve had completely different lifestyles. I also believe that they also, in a way, represent each path Till could take. If he were to stay in alien stage for the next season, would he turn out like Luka, someone who hurt others to feel in control, or if he was able to run away and become a rebel would he distract himself from his pain and constantly chase after that feeling of finally being free?

idk i just really like hyuna and luka

#alien stage #alnst #alnst till #luka alnst #luka alien stage #alnst hyuna #alnst luka #till alnst #hyuna alnst #i just like these guys #they deserve more attention #hyuluka

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sebastianswallows · 5 months ago

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The Little Death — 14. The mental and physical settings

— PAIRING: Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Bene Gesserit!Reader

— SYNOPSIS: A Bene Gesserit gets left behind in the Arrakeen palace. When Feyd becomes the Planetary Governor, he finds her there in hiding. The Harkonnens don't traditionally keep them as truthsayers or concubines like other Houses do, but Feyd might have a use for her. After all, he's never had a Bene Gesserit of his own before.

— WARNINGS: none

— WORDCOUNT: 2k

— A/N: I'm back again! This chapter immediately follows the previous one, and a plot is forming in this lady's head. She just needs to convince Feyd to play along 😅 Enjoy reading, my dears! 💗

— TAGLIST: @elf-punk @lowlyloved @pomtherine @slytherins-heir @babyofneptune @localravenclaw @missbingu @wo-ming-bai @torossosebs @mrsjobarnes

What social inheritances went outward with the Scattering? We know those times intimately. We know both the mental and physical settings. The Lost Ones took with them a consciousness confined mostly to manpower and hardware. There was a desperate need for room to expand driven by the myth of Freedom. — The Scattering: Bene Gesserit Analysis

She found Feyd by following the troops. He was in the command room, pacing along a shivering holo-map. The mentats, relieved of their posts, were muttering among themselves in sparse syllables in the back of the room. They turned quiet when she entered.

“You,” said Feyd, calling her to him with a curl of his pale finger. “Come here.”

“Yes, my lord na-Baron?”

“You remember that advice you gave me once?”

She did… She suggested he pull back the attacks, just enough to bait the Fremen into exposing themselves. “Yes,” she answered as she stopped beside him, her hands folded at her lap.

“I don’t suppose you have a follow-up plan in the event that it worked?”

“I’m glad to hear my words bore fruit.”

“Don’t try to be funny,” he grumbled.

“I’m not.”

“We’re about to send in an echelon of 60 units but the scouts we sent ahead never returned.”

“Then it might be a bad idea to send in the echelon.”

“But we can’t just leave them there,” said Feyd, pacing up and down the length of the long holo-map.

She stepped softly behind him, watching the way his shoulders tensed beneath the pauldrons, the trembling in his spine, his restless legs.

“They would’ve gone in knowing the risk. If they’re lost, they —”

“I mean the Fremen,” he growled. “We can’t let them think they can crawl across Arrakis whenever they please, not anymore.”

Her instinct was to advise against it. It was not in Feyd’s interest to conquer Arrakis, not really. He was just trying to please his uncle, she realised, which was why he was so tense, so scared even with an army all around him. But there was no use trying to explain that to him. It would be too blunt, too clumsy, and have the opposite effect. Feyd, in spite of what he claimed, desired a gentler hand.

“Why not post new scouts?” she offered, walking to his side. “Feign retreat and follow these rogue Fremen. See where they come from, where they hide. Then, you might eliminate the lot.”

“They live in colonies, like vermin,” said Feyd, shaking his head. “They could slip through underground tunnels to fuck knows where.”

She cast her eyes over the map, its surface bending in thin threads of light. Behind her, she could feel the stares of the Harkonnens, all of them suspicious of a ‘witch’ and unhappy to see her at their na-Baron’s side, but too scared to speak.

“I still think it would be pointless to strike at them impulsively,” she said. “If you never know how many occupy the planet, how can you plan for further attacks? How can you calculate the cost of the reserves and equipment you’ll need? How can you forecast economic costs or surplus? Even your mentats could tell you how futile it is to engage in large-scale combat in these circumstances.”

“Which is why I’m not asking a mentat,” he hissed, cold eyes sliding to her.

She chewed on her lower lip as she thought. “You say they are like vermin… They do behave more like the Arrakis wildlife... But they have the reasoning abilities of any conscious being. They are trying to wait you out, encircle you, pick away at you, and use what they have available to them — which is the environment, and specialised information… You must cut off at least one.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the table. “Any other advice you can offer? Try something a little more vague this time.”

She treated him with a cold look yet couldn’t help but smile. He was endearing when he was acting like a bratty little boy.

“You could make the environment less recognisable to them. Cut off their usual pathways, destroy, construct, expand. Or… you could find out the information they keep from you, such as what their true numbers are, where they hide, how they use spice, how they use worms, what technology —”

“They’re savages, they don’t have technology.”

“Everyone has technology. Especially people who can survive in a place like this.”

She could tell Feyd wanted to say something sarcastic again, but instead, he turned his gaze upon the map and thought about what she said.

“Sir?” mumbled one of the men behind him, a commander by his uniform. “What should we tell the troops?”

“Send more scouts,” said Feyd at last, turning away from the map and putting distance between them with long strides. “Would be stupid to risk our numbers blindly.”

“Yes, sir.”

She followed him quietly out of the room and allowed herself a moment of satisfaction. He’d actually listened to her… Perhaps saving herself from that cursed planet wasn’t so unlikely after all, and she might even save him too.

“Do you want to have dinner together?” she asked, falling in step with him.

“You’re not protecting them, are you?”

“Who?”

“The Fremen.”

“No,” she frowned. “Why would I protect them?”

He didn’t answer, but his silence spoke. He was conscious of the difference between them — not only that between a Harkonnen and a Bene Gesserit, but that between a Harkonnen and anyone else. They were a House isolated by their culture, their toxic planet, even by their appearance… And so he naturally saw her as having more in common with the natives of Arrakis than with him.

“The sooner you defeat the Fremen, the sooner things normalise,” she quietly said. “But you can’t defeat them with brutal methods. Their whole culture was shaped by brutality.”

Feyd didn’t look at her as they walked together, swift and remote. “So you want things to relax enough that you can finally escape, is that it?”

She grew cold at his implication. Had she not indulged his every mood? Had she not forgiven him his aggressions, violations, absorbed them within herself to let them bloom? He was being an ungrateful boy — but he was not completely wrong.

“I know I can’t escape,” she said, somewhat resentfully. “No Guild transporter is going to come down here just for me, and I mean nothing to the Sisterhood. Nobody is coming to save me. But…”

“Yes?” he said, turning to look at her as they reached the dining room.

“But don’t you too want to escape from here?”

He scoffed. “I can’t escape. I rule this planet.”

“And, you don’t want to escape?”

He evaded her gaze and walked into the room, closing the wide doors behind them. The stomping of the troops became a distant echo. He kept her at a distance as he went to sit down and angrily rang the bell that called the servants in. She sat opposite him while they filled the table with small dishes carrying elegant meals, and poured the both of them tall glasses of water — enough for an Arrakeen family to live off of for a month. Feyd watched on with pale furrowed brows, and she watched him. She knew her words had woken something in him.

As soon as the servants were gone, she rested her wrists on the edge of the table and leaned forward.

“What did it mean to you, when I asked you that?”

“What?”

“When I asked if you wanted to escape.”

“It sounded like treason,” said Feyd, gazing from beneath his lashes as he cut into his food.

“It’s only a question.”

“It’s a suggestion. I’m not stupid.”

“It’s not a suggestion,” she said, leaning back and nearly slouching. “I can’t do anything on this planet without you.”

“Ah,” he chuckled. “So is that why you want to escape? You don’t want to be mine anymore?”

“If that were so, why would I ‘suggest’ that you escape, too?” she countered with a smirk.

Feyd frowned at her again but kept on eating. He twirled his fork around a spread of moss, oily and black with stars of golden spice shining on its surface, and dragged it through a verdant sauce of pickled seaweed. He ate delicately, reminding her of how different he was from his uncle.

“If you were so upset with me because of it, you’d have killed me already,” she muttered, finally turning to her plate.

“Maybe I want to enjoy you one last time.”

She sighed. “I don’t understand why you’re so upset with me. You’re the one who wanted to know what I was thinking.”

“And this is it?” he asked, looking at her again. “You’ve been thinking of running away?”

It was tempting to say yes and be done with it, to bear the brunt of his anger, which was already bubbling to the surface. But she remained in her relaxed pose and brought a small morsel of food from her plate to her lips and let the fork linger between them.

“If I did, would you chase me?” she asked somewhat playfully.

And just as she expected, a flame flickered in Feyd’s eyes. Because he was a bratty little boy, and he liked playing, and he resented having to manage Arrakis when instead he could enjoy himself… The prestige in the eyes of his uncle mattered less and less to him each day, and no amount of tall glasses of water, however luxurious on that planet, were enough for him when there was a whole universe out there.

“Flirting won’t save you,” he managed to say.

“Are you suggesting I need to be saved?”

“I am.”

“From what?”

“From me.”

She smiled at him as she twirled her fork across her plate. “I would’ve thought it’s from this planet. Just like you.”

He sighed and tried to distract himself with drinking, gulping half the glass of water in one go. “I regret ever asking you about it,” said Feyd as he slammed it back down. “You’re just lucky I’m the one in charge here. Anyone else would’ve had your head cut off and hung you upside down to drain the blood for moisture.”

She could have chuckled if she didn’t think he’d take it the wrong way. Underneath his threats was a genuine concern and hurt at the mere suggestion of her leaving him one day. He couldn’t even look at her while he mumbled his threats. In fact, he’d never seemed more harmless.

But she was certain her words had set his imagination going, a welcome respite after the troubles of the day. She would have to be on her best behaviour that night to let his thoughts and feelings settle, to make him sweet toward her again, and bring him back to her. It wouldn’t be difficult, it never was.

Although he seemed not to enjoy it much, he finished his dinner, and she did too. And as they walked together to the bedroom they shared, shadows dancing on the walls, she wondered if the spice melange was playing tricks on her, making her dizzy and giddy and almost self-destructive around him. She had had too much that morning too, she recalled, and her meditations had been troubled afterwards. But if she was struggling, how must Feyd feel? He had less of a capacity to modulate poisons in his system… And yet he indulged in it. Perhaps he’d used so much that he’d gained a tolerance for it. He was more at ease after dinner than before it, but his eyes were darkened, his lips a little red, and when she took his armour off that night his skin felt hot and sticky.

Was he seeing things too, she wondered… Did he have the same sort of visions she had had — of white shores and crashing waves and pale sea spraying on his skin? He looked at her with the same sort of longing he did when he felt loneliness threatening him, as if he were at once in the comforting present, with her arms around him as she pulled him down to bed, and at the same time in a horrible future with all of its uncertainties.

“It’s alright,” she whispered as her warm hands cupped his cheek. He curled up by her side and laid his head down on her shoulder. “Don’t be afraid. I’m not going anywhere. Not without you.”

#Feyd #Feyd Rautha Harkonnen #Feyd Rautha #Dune #Dune part 2 #Dune fanfiction #Dune imagine #Feyd Rautha x reader #Feyd x reader #Feyd Rautha fanfic #Feyd Rautha imagine #sswallow;fanfics #sswallow;made a thing #fanfic;littledeath

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cinnamonest · 1 year ago

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With this whole 'rape fantasies are a result of misogyny as they allow women a guilt free sexuality cos they have no autonomy'

Surely that means your writing and fantasies are contributing to misogyny? Adding to it and normalising it?

Like isnt the answer to write and encourage fantasies of empowerment? Not abuse and rape?

Just seems crazy to me like 'we do this because of misogyny. And we'll keep doing it'

Obviously some behaviour come from misogyny and exist to combat it. This... really doesn't

I just don't think it's a feminist win when your writing is indistinguishable from that of a misogynistic man's.

This isnt an attack on you it just really seems like common sense that if something exists because of misogyny the last thing we should do is feed into those ideas

(I assume this is coming from this post, so I might reference that a bit here)

No worries, I fully understand how this can come across negative to those who do not have the same experiences and I appreciate you approaching the matter in a non-attacking way with genuine desire to have dialogue on the subject. I'll do my best to address these points individually.

>Surely that means your writing and fantasies are contributing to misogyny? Adding to it and normalising it?

In the past few years fandom culture has become a bit obsessed with the idea of "normalization" to the point that the definition of the term has been a bit skewed, which creates issues with these discussions.

There is no concept of which existence of content containing it alone constitutes normalization, by the actual definition of the word. Normalization is the process by which it is distributed and way in which it is presented, and intent of its creation.

Normalization via fiction is a process in which a creator, generally intentionally, creates content that presents a concept as, well, normal. That is, not reprehensible or problematic to replicate, and presents this to a population with the intent of them accepting the idea as something acceptable in reality. Generally it also necessitates that the creator will try to ensure the media is viewed by mainstream general audiences who would not normally seek the content out, since the purpose of normalization is to make an idea acceptable amongst a population.

That is the opposite of what I am doing, which is creating a private space filled with warnings. I am going out of my way to ensure that people who do not want to see this content, have the foreknowledge to opt to avoid it.

By definition, if you’re creating content and ensuring that it is heavily warned, and marketing it as such that only a niche group who likes such content seeks it out, that’s not normalization by any reasonable metric.

>Like isnt the answer to write and encourage fantasies of empowerment? Not abuse and rape?

For some people, I’m sure that would help them, and in that case, that is a great solution for them.

But people are different, and certain things that help some, don’t help others. The types of fantasies that would probably be called “empowering,” personally do nothing for me but make me uncomfortable, in the same way that the sort of content I write makes some people uncomfortable. It does not have the same positive effects on my mental health that this form of content does.

>Obviously some behaviour come from misogyny and exist to combat it. This... really doesn't

That's fair — but it doesn't have to.

It is not intended to directly combat misogyny in any way, there are other ways to do that, and this does not have to be one. It's primary purpose is catharsis and the ways in which it benefits me and, as is my hope, those who choose to consume it.

>I just don't think it's a feminist win when your writing is indistinguishable from that of a misogynistic man's.

Again, I never had any intention for it to be a "win" — misogyny is the reason for why I have these desires, but in making what I make, my purpose is to provide catharsis for myself and others.

But also, I would heavily contest that it is indistinguishable from male fantasies. As someone who has seen actual men's misogynist fetishization fantasies, they are very different.

Female disposability and the complete worthlessness of women’s very being — that is, women being non-human objects that are interchangeable, and made to be used temporarily and replaced — is the core defining characteristic of male fantasy/sexuality. Male fantasies almost always involve multiple women to one man, largely because he does not have any actual bond with women, they are items to be collected, no interpersonal relationship actually exists.

The lack of interpersonal connection and lack of personableness itself is fetishized by men, what men get off to is the power they feel from completely disregarding the woman as a person in any way. The very act of the woman being thrown away after being used is fetishized.

In male fantasy, there is no interpersonal connection or affection of any kind, whereas that is one of the defining themes of content like mine.

Tl;dr — while misogyny impacts all women, the severity and form of it in different upbringings, environments and cultures can create misunderstandings and strong reactions when different people react so differently to the same content and thus form misconceptions about each other's perceptions and intentions, but I believe both sides of this argument are usually coming from a place of good intent.

While I fully understand how it would be difficult for those who do not have the same experience to grasp mine, I just ask for mutual understanding that some forms of content help some people, in the same way entirely different forms of content help other people.

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poetry-protest-pornography · 6 months ago

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Talking with @respectthepetty about the finale, and I think I've figured out my biggest sticking point.

We see the incredible care and love that Kan shows his patients, and Tew's mom in particular. We see him ask her for confirmation multiple times. He brushes her hair, asks her if she has any worries, promises to take care of Tew for her.

He calls her Mom. She cradles his cheek. He sits with her while she falls asleep.

We see this scene play out, we feel Kan's compassion for her, we feel his need to help.

And when he and Tew have their confrontation, he says all of this. He talks about how much it hurts to see people struggle with unbearable pain, how the system doesn't care about how well or how poorly people are living, doesn't care about what people want for their life. He gives an impassioned defense of the need for euthanasia to be made legal.

He tells Tew that his mother died the way she wanted to, that she passed peacefully and on her terms. He tells him that she wanted him to be happy.

And we don't see Tew truly understand any of that. We don't get to see him even really process any of it.

I didn't need or expect Tew to become a supporter of euthanasia, or to even fully forgive and understand what Kan did and why he did it. But it seems like what we got instead was Tew accepting his feelings for Kan, and acknowledging that.

So that "I love you" felt... Misplaced.

What good does a confession do when you've got the man you're in love with handcuffed, on your way to turn him into the police.

(The confrontation itself was beautifully done and it hurt all my feelings. But I'm not sure it was in the right place? There was no room to see them struggling with and processing it. Kan's sad nod of acknowledgement and no response was the correct response, but it was also mine, quick I think is not the desired effect.)

Also, Kan volunteerimg to turn himself in, without arguing for his patients who need him -- in his hospital that is desperately short staffed, in which he is the only palliative care doctor; a point that has been made over and over in the series -- also felt off.

I would've been happier with an ambiguous ending, maybe even the exact same one, where we didn't see the cuffs, and weren't sure what was next for them.

(from my understanding, this is basically the opposite of the source material? There's also the comments from the screenwriter that have kind of left an annoyed filter over all my thoughts about the show, but I digress)

Honestly, I may have been okay(er) with the outcome if we had had more of their relationship development on screen, more of them trying to understand each other (that felt very one sided in the end).

Idk.

The show was beautiful, beautifully acted, and had some very important things to say, and it made its arguments well considering the lines they had to tow. But the politics and the moral struggle of the show were embodied in Kan and Tew, and the culmination of that struggle feels like it wasn't given enough space.

#maybe a little too negative to tag?#i think i would've been 90% happy if we just didn't see the handcuffs honestly #if we were just left to question what's next #*incoherent screaming*

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bnhaobservation · 2 months ago

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Overall, do you think Tomura is a well written character? And a well written main Villain?

Honestly the only criticism I have against him is that he doesn’t seem the threat the story portrays him as, but that’s really on Horikoshi and his refusal to let the Heroes face some long lasting consequences.

But, for real, I think Horikoshi’s decision to go with such an unconventional antagonist was his strongest card, both in originality and thematically. (Until he blew it).

I have seen people complain that Nine was a better Hero to the Villains, as he had an established, coherent goal from the start and was stable enough to actually pursue it, but for me Tomura’s madness and instability, his pain and raw anger, are much more compelling.

All of who he is is a manifesto of what happens to people who are discarded by society.

He’s a victim who won’t let what happened to him go, everyone will pay and see the consequences of his suffering. His untreated trauma and its effects, both for him and the environment around him, aren’t softened in any way.

However, he’s also shown to be able of improvement and change through the bonds he formed with the league. He had a sincere desire to make them justice hidden under the lump of hatred and sadness. But, (as much as I hate the whole afo/ofa psychic connection), he wouldn’t have ever seen his own growth and humanity without the hero who tried to save him, Deku. (Can’t believe I’m giving Deku credit.)

Nine, or someone more like him, could have never represented such a middle ground, because Nine was already able to save himself and others. Nine didn’t need society or a hero to help him, therefore society was not in need to be challenged to improve and become more inclusive.

Tomura learned to express real, heartfelt criticism of hero society, but that didn’t dismiss the need for heroes to save him from himself and his abuser.

He established valid thematic points without dismissing the heroes’ role in helping out victims, even the bad ones. He was perfect for the point MHA was making (or pretending to make).

But I don’t know, what do you think?

Sorry for answering you so late but not only I was away form home but, as usual, I planned for a short reply and ended up writing a long post analyzing Tomura.

Sorry about this but I should probably admit I do love Tomura so I’ve tried extra hard to be impartial, listing his good points and the flaws.

LET’S TALK ABOUT CHARACTERIZATION

For me the final idea behind Tomura’s character is great, he’s basically the mirror image of the main character, down to the red shoes. Both he and Midoriya start out Quirkless (Midoriya is born as such, Tenko had his own stolen). Midoriya is bullied outside his house but his mother loves him, Tenko has friends outside his house but his father makes said house unsafe. Then someone gives them a Quirk (that destroys Tenko’s family and Midoriya’s body) and offers to mentor them. Unluckily for Tenko it’s AFO while for Midoriya it’s All Might so Midoriya gets to have his ‘Hero story’ in which his actions inspire All Might to act, where Tenko murders his whole family.

And the two grow and Tenko is taught the downside/dark side of the Hero world, while Midoriya enrolls in U.A. high and learns of the bright side of it and then the two clash and Midoriya learns Hero society isn’t as perfect as he believes but decides to save Tenko, basically wanting to teach him the upside/light side of the Hero world.

This is the basic idea behind the two and it’s VERY GOOD.

Tenko/Tomura is perfect as a foil to Midoriya, he’s even given companions that match/mirror Midoriya’s friends: obviously Touya/Shouto, Himiko/Uraraka but, in a way, also Kurogiri/Bakugou (relationship from childhood) and if you really wants to pull things Atsuhiro/Iida (the families shaping them), Shuuichi/Shouji (the Heteromorph drama) and Jin/Aoyama (the betrayal plot). As you can see each of them has a point of similitude that however goes opposite to the other, same as Tomura and Midoriya.

Tenko/Tomura is given an intriguing backstory, an evolution, flaws, companions, a mentor figure, a starting point, an inner research for a goal that’s more than just ‘I’m evil’, an evolution and an end.

All this is very, very good.

What’s not so good is how the story handles all this.

Tomura’s evolution and inner world don’t get enough screentime.

In the first part he’s a certain kind of person that threatened Kurogiri, didn’t care for the Villains who carried with himself at the USJ and would have murdered Touya and Himiko because they annoyed him. Having a talk with Midoriya is a good idea to start to change him… but sadly despite Midoriya having PLENTY of screentime, the talk doesn’t equally affect Midoriya (why should we care? Because it would be important to have them affect each other instead while Midoriya does ask to All Might if there was someone he couldn’t save, this doesn’t really change his approach to things much).

Still, like Midoriya as a Hero, he’s not really much of a Villain (even though the police and the Heroes make an overly big deal of him) but it fits, because as Midoriya’s foil he can’t be too good.

Then we have the ‘Forest Training Camp’ arc and the ‘Hideout raid’ arc. Tomura somehow decides to put Touya in charge and target Bakugou. The story doesn’t explain how he came to the decision Touya was the one more fitting to lead the team which is a flaw in writing because all of sudden he considers the League his comrades and somehow it will be implied he knows their backstories (except maybe Touya’s) as he’ll claim each of them have suffered.

The story doesn’t even quite goes on why he wants Bakugou, does he see him as a fellow victim or just as an useful pawn to attack Hero society? Is he trying to be a manipulator solely for his own convenience or he’s genuinely trying to offer Bakugou a way out from a society that would chain and muzzle him?

Each one can have their own theory but the point is the story doesn’t really tell us what he felt for Bakugou and when they’ll confront again he’ll claim he lost interest in him… but he’s possessed by AFO so who knows.

All those plot/characterization holes are here because Tomura will move to his… ‘next stage’.

After AFO is jailed Tomura is characterized as someone who cares for the League. They’re now “friends”, “companions”, “allies” or, to use the word he uses ‘nakama’ (仲間), which is a word that implies a stronger bond that casual friends, they’re friends and colleagues/allies, they share with him something. He tolerates their weird behaviors, he wants to avenge Magne, he doesn’t mind if Himiko points her knife at his throat. I love this characterization and we can of course assume this is the natural evolution of him losing AFO and having to spend time with them so he grew close to them (as h e shows no care for Muscular, Moonfish, Mustard), but the story doesn’t portray this, it just jumps from a point to the other.

Kurogiri is whisked away by the plot, so that we can’t see their relation evolve.

Tomura though, is very interesting and promising as he deals with Overhaul, but also totally different from how he was before, he stays calm, he doesn’t get upset with Jin, he tries to protect the League, first telling Atsuhiro to wait, then jumping on the battleground when he doesn’t. Later he’ll negotiate with Overhaul calmly getting info out of him and sets up a way for them to take advantage of him. Ultimately he’ll destroy Overhaul and steals his bullets.

It’s a completely different Tomura if we compare him to the one who would throw a tantrum when things didn’t go his way, be it when All Might got in advantage, when he interacted with Stain or when Touya annoyed him. It’s a great Tomura and yes, as said before he could have changed naturally due to losing his mentor but… the story just change him without exploring the transition.

This is bad and sadly a recurring problem in the story. Characters change and WHY they did so isn’t explored or it is explored only vaguely so that it feels as if their character is retconned.

Now, people can change. They won’t do it overnight as it’s a pretty difficult process.

In theory times went by so yes, Tomura could change and his change would make sense and I can construct an (I hope) good argument on why he went toward this direction… but as the slow shift isn’t represented in any way, it might feel an abrupt shift to a reader.

The new Tomura block starts with ‘My Villain academia’, which more or less continues the new characterization of Tomura as someone who cares about his friends but also as someone who knows how to be a leader, making it even more marked. In fact he puts up with Shuuichi’s criticism, he goes to rescue Giran, he promises the League they can get what they want, he lets Touya free to do as he prefers, he opens up about his past, he handles Garaki and Re-Destro without losing it, gaining a commanding presence, he doesn’t coldly murder Re-Destro and his allies but becomes their ruler, he remembers what the League wanted to eat…

The change is now less abrupt compared to previously, it actually comes as a more smooth evolution of his character, plus the story gives him drama, finally revealing his past and helps us make sense of his motive.

In fact Tomura’s motive is now more ‘his own motive’, he has a target, he has decided to destroy all he hates so as to free himself from the weight in his heart where before, with his claiming he wanted to question society and that was it, he seemed to have less of an aim and just parrot AFO’s teachings.

All this is good and interesting to me, on the other side, Horikoshi never develop Tomura’s relation with Machia or with the Meta Liberation Army so it feels like he’s just using them and this is not so great. Credits when it’s due there wasn’t much time to explore it, as Tomura soon ends up in Garaki’s lab but it still feels a wasted chance considering in the end he’ll claim he wants to be ‘a Hero for the Villains’.

Again, the readers can try and connect things but the story doesn’t bother. Tomura gets a last moment of glory when he wakes up and fight the Heroes. He’s great in his characterization, the way he takes care of the League, of how he spares the High Ends so that they can use them, how he interacts with the Heroes, how he explains them the difference between Heroes and Villains, how when Midoriya complains he won’t forgive him, he calmly answers he won’t forgive them either, how he tries to resist to AFO’s possession, at first in a friendly way only to change tone when he realizes AFO has been using him, that’s a great Tomura.

Then he gets possessed and possessed Tomura is nowhere as interesting as we don’t get him react to anything that’s going on (Twice’s death, Touya’s revelation, Atsuhiro and Machia being arrested and so on…). Credits when it’s due, the story hardly focuses on the League at this point because the new antagonist is AFO and his band of merry escaped convicts/assassins.

Tomura ‘comes back’ for the battle with Midoriya. They don’t really talk much. Tomura has some good moments of characterization but, for being a moment I had long awaited, it mostly managed to disappoint me and it comes with characterization downsides too.

I tend to think at that point Horikoshi really wanted to end the manga and that was a huge part of the problem but I might be wrong. It’s fitting he feels suicidal in the way he attacks, I liked his monologue with Midoriya in the OFA space and, later, that’s nice he cares about Shuuichi but what about everything else? The fact he gets again possessed and psychologically shattered but no, he’s saved by Nana but he doesn’t get a meaningful talk with her or All Might and he’s fine entrusting everything to Midoriya when he first said the Villains needed a Hero… as if he thinks Midoriya can be a Hero for the Villains too… honestly doesn’t work well for me. Again the evolution feels forced, jumpy, Horikoshi wants him to say something and so he complies.

So, on the long run, Tomura’s characterization (as far as I’m involved) has up and downs that other Villains don’t have because they get less screentime so Horikoshi sticks to just a characterization for them.

It’s still an interesting characterization, one that could have been amazing if Horikoshi had just taken care to smoother some transitions and one I love even if I’m the one who has to do the work to connect the dots.

LET’S TALK ABOUT HIS GOAL

At first Tomura’s goal is hard to understand.

When facing All Might he claims he’s angry because both Heroes and Villains thrive on violence but they’re still categorized in good and evil, All Might is called a symbol of peace but he’s just a tool for violence made to keep Villains down, however violence can only breed more violence and he plans to show it by killing All Might. [Chap. 19] All Might shoots his motive down claiming he’s not an idealist but someone who’s enjoying himself, which Tomura confirms. All Might will later call him a man-child.

When he confronts himself with Stain he summarizes his goal is ‘kill All Might and all he doesn’t like’ [Chap. 47] which leads Stain to label him as a temper tantrum kid claiming he has bloodlust without conviction. Pressured by Stain, Tomura insists he has no conviction but he’s still driven by All Might and the society that worship him and that he wants to crush, so that can be his conviction. Stain is impressed and agrees they’ve in common the wish to destroy the status quo and that Tomura actually has a seed of conviction. [Chap. 49]

Tomura is not quite sure, when wandering before meeting Midoriya he insists he and the Hero Killer were just ‘destroying the things they hate’ and, talking with Midoriya he claims he hates everyone and everything. His words also hint he’s upset society isn’t noticing him but they’re focusing on Stain. After his talk with Midoriya though, his mind clears up even though is explanation isn’t so clear. He claims he’s angry at Stain and Midoriya and at society because they’re all thinking about All Might, smiling wide and thinking there’s no one All Might can’t save while, at the same time, remembering how All Might didn’t save him. Moments later he’ll claim he’ll create a world without All Might and cause enough destruction to show everyone how fragile their justice really is. [Chap. 69]

When facing Bakugou he observes how everyone is giving a hard time to Heroes because their job is to protect people but they did too little, too late and screwed up, but everyone can do it yet people expects them to be perfect. He then claims his war is based on a few simple questions: ‘What is a Hero? What is justice? Is this what society’s really supposed to be like?’ He also points out that all in the League have different stories but they’ve all suffered thanks to other people, to rules and to heroes and felt suffocated. [Chap. 85] Tomura is pointing out society is, in a way, reacting like him. The Heroes failed to save them and they turned against the Heroes, he’s NOT different from them and they’re not different from him. It’s just that they’re so stuck on how Heroes are perfect they don’t think Heroes can fail and create people like him, but have Heroes fail them and they turn against Heroes just the same as him. And this is what Tomura wants, he wants them to feel his own desperation, he wants them to notice he’s desperate and needed help and no one helped him.

When confronting Overhaul, he claims he’s collecting people to annihilate the Hero society and the latter scolds him about Tomura not having a plan, not knowing what to do once he has expanded, how to use the people under him. [Chap. 125] The two of course couldn’t be more different, as Overhaul wants to profit from the destruction of Hero society, while Tomura doesn’t. He’s not in for the money. In the following confrontation with Overhaul he’ll agree to join him as long as they won’t work under him as they’ll do what they want, when and how they want.

When confronting Garaki Tomura defines his goal better. He claims he can’t remember his past but he feels his rage boil when he wears his hands… and we’re starting to get better hints about how Tomura’s ‘rage’ is a cover, a reaction, a copying mechanism to Tomura’s suffering, to his trauma of killing his family, to how he wasn’t helped, no Hero coming to save him, how he was abandoned, people not caring about his misery until AFO found him. AFO called it frustration, rage, but it’s actually trauma and pain. Tomura concluded he’ll never feel good again, even if society comes crashing down, even if I rise to rule the underworld, the weight in his heart is never going to go away so he hates everything and wants to destroy everything, thinking this will lead him to a beautiful horizon. It’s at the same time a desperate attempt at destroying what pains him and a request for help, or, at least, a request to be understood because if everyone is miserable like him, his situation will then be ‘normal’. [Chap. 222] At the same time though, he won’t deny his allies the chance to get what they want.

Re-Destro will also question him, asking him what burdens he bears and what does he seeks to build, as all he can see is a hollow man who creates nothing and indulge in destruction. [Chap. 234] Tomura will agree with him that all he can do is destroy. [Chap. 235] He then will claim he views the future (for himself) as unnecessary but he wants the League to live as they see fit [Chap. 237]

Then we’ve Tomura answering to Endeavor who claims he can gather all the power he likes but without ideals, Tomura’s hollow destruction won’t bring down the Heroes. At this Tomura answers his father told him that Heroes hurt their own families just to help complete strangers. He then points out how he always had ideals and explains how Heroes pretended to be society’s guardians, but also how they pretended not to see those they couldn’t protect, sweeping their pain under the rugs, tainting everything they have built, so their system is rotten from inside. It built up little by little, they’ve the common trash dependent on being protected and the brave guardians who created the trash that needs coddling in a corrupt, vicious circle. Tomura claims everything he has witnessed, the whole system they have bult has always rejected him so he’ll reject it too and that’s why he destroy, why he took power for himself. He doesn’t care if they don’t understand, this is what makes them Heroes and Villains. [Chap. 280/281] There’s a tiny bit that I like to consider part of Tomura’s mindset. Midoriya jumps on him (after Tomura has hit Gran Torino) claiming he won’t forgive him and Tomura answer back he won’t forgive anyone either.

The story also begins to imply Tomura wants to destroy all that comes from his birth house. [Chap. 292]

Later Tomura will remind Midoriya they won’t sit down for a chat as he’s his Villain [Chap. 378] which hints at how he gave up on being understood by Heroes. He’s a Villain to them, that’s all there is. Then he’ll claim his heart isn’t wavering and that everything he witnessed in the world lead to the existence of ‘that house’ (as his family house) so as Shigaraki Tomura and Shimura Tenko he only has one hope, to destroy everything connected to that house and that’s the only thing that’s going to save him. [Chap. 379] As Shigaraki himself is connected to that house, this is also a suicidal declaration.

The last bit we have is inside Tomura’s mindscape. Tomura insists the destruction of his family was his own choice because otherwise why does he has such hands? In case someone forgot about it, people connects Quirks with character, even Re-Destro did claim Tomura was only capable of destroying. To cope with what happened, which, at the beginning, HE CLEARLY DIDN’T DO ON PURPOSE (he was actually freaked out and scared and it was only because his father rejected him that he connected the dots that it was him causing destruction and killed his father) he decided it happened due to his own will and used rage as a copying mechanism to deal with his grief. No one helped him and this made matters worse. Tomura accepted being a Villain because society cut him out from its circle and, at the same time, the fact he was a Villain, gave him another group. He couldn’t be All Might, he couldn’t be a Hero for society, but he can be a Hero for the people like him, Villains who were chased out of society and are miserable and rejected. All Tomura has his his pain covered up by his hatred but even if his hatred were to be taken away from him and he were to end up hollow, the ‘Villains’ (aka the people society crushed), needs him to be a Hero for them so he wouldn’t stop because THEY are ‘his society’ a society that stands opposed to Midoriya’s. [Chap. 418]

So where all this leads us?

Tomura is pretty solid in his motive/goal, even if, at the start, he doesn’t know how to verbalize it well. Hero society destroyed him. It twisted his father, it didn’t save Tenko, made Tenko a Villain unworthy of their help (as in refused to help him when he wandered through the city, which Tenko interpreted as rejection due to what he caused to his family), it let him fall prey of AFO so that ultimately Tenko accepted/embraced being a Villain, being Shigaraki Tomura. Society hurt him, it continues to hurt him by merely existing and not caring about him and, in the same way as Midoriya can’t forgive him for hurting the people he cared about Tomura can’t forgive society for hurting him. Tomura knows destroying society WON’T FIX HIM, it won’t make him happy, but it’ll stop extra pain to be thrown at him… or at the other people who are with him which society labels as ‘Villains’. While he doesn’t believe he can be happy destroying everything, himself included, he thinks they might have a chance.

It’s a good motive and one that’s not so common for an antagonist/Villain.

LET’S TALK ABOUT WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A VILLAIN

In the story all it takes is to use your Quirk unauthorized, generally to commit a crime so I think we should probably dig in him being a danger.

Tomura is a work in progress, same as Midoriya, he grows in his Villain role, even though the police makes a big deal of his right from the start. During the war he has gained power and a army and he’s VERY, VERY dangerous.

He’s also someone who plans to destroy society, in the sense he’ll shatter its beliefs in Heroes, it’s faith, so yes, he is a great Villain by the end.

Some think a Villain has solely to be evil, someone who takes pleasure in hurting you, someone you want to see murdered, but I’m not of that group, for me that sort of Villains were the ones of child tales, like the evil witch of Snowcone, the bad wolf of Red riding hood. Different tastes, I guess.

I do like how Tomura is a person, a person society destroyed because originally Tomura wanted to be like All Might and then things went wrong and he became a Villain because ‘all it takes is a single bad day’ (actually a series of bad days in his case but you get what I mean). I like the idea what happened to Tomura could have happened to everyone had they gone through what he went through.

To me it makes him more scary exactly because he isn’t the guy born evil, he’s the guy who was born just fine like any of us but then life twisted him. He’s the warning we can become like him, that we can create him by causing someone to go through what he went through.

And yet Tomura remains human, because even though what he does is terrible, in the end he’s not a monster, he’s just a human like us.

LET’S TALK ABOUT TOMURA AND NINE

The two are similar yet different.

In the short stories its implied Nine knew pain and viewed his men as comrades same as Tomura. However Nine has a Darwinistic idea of how society has to be, with him at the top and strong Quirk users below him but still high in power. This doesn’t necessarily means Villains, Endeavor and All Might have strong Quirks themselves… though of course they wouldn’t agree with Nine’s plan, which will likely set them up for elimination. Nine’s idea is similar to the one of Re-Destro. This means Villains like Spinner, who aren’t lions, don’t have a place in Nine’s project.

On the other side Tomura wants to include in his project all of those who are mistreated by society, strong Quirk or not but his idea of ‘mistreating’ seems rather broad. However Tomura is more of an anarchic, he plans to destroy society but not to rule it, and, as I said in another post, anarchy tends to have short life. Someone will come and take the reins of what Tomura left behind.

Now that someone might have learnt the lesson and create a better society… or he could just be Re-Destro or one of his affiliates and create a different kind of superpower society that still will mistreat someone else.

In itself there’s no such thing as ‘perfect society’, because there are not perfect people.

So there’s not really between them a ‘better Hero for the Villains’ because they’ll go at it differently. Nine plans to rule society, so he’ll be around maintaining his rule, which however will benefit only a certain kind of Villains.

Tomura believes his actions will benefit all the Villains which mistreated by society but doesn’t plan to be around to ensure things will go well AFTERWARD and, even if he were to survive, he thinks his role is merely to destroy what would oppress them.

There’s also something else to say… Nine seems older than Tomura, and he wasn’t kept immature, isolated from people and manipulated like Tomura was at the start. It makes sense he has a better idea of what he wants (especially because in a movie you can’t give him the time to clear his mind), one Tomura will reach with time.

Everything else is a matter of preference.

Even in the Hero camp there’s who prefer Midoriya and who instead thinks Haimawari (the main character from Vigilantes) should have been the main character of BNHA because he’s a better protagonist. At each his own.

To sum it up, yeah, I do think Tomura is a good character (but he could have been better had Horikoshi paid him more care) and a good Villain who can be a Hero for the Villains but that’s just me. If someone prefers Nine to Tomura, that’s fine.

Thanks for your ask and sorry for the late and long reply!

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slytherinstories · 8 months ago

Text

Resisting You PT.2

Description: Mattheo Riddle a known player and flirt has his sights on you. You two couldn't be more opposite: him only wanting casual flings and you wanting a relationship. Its a disaster when you start developing feelings and he finds out about them. You try everything in you to resist giving in to him knowing he can't be what you want, but how long until your desire consumes you?

Make sure to read part one first! This is going to be a couple part series so be patient for the smut this is a bit of a slow burner. Follow for more stories and I am open for requests.

>>> PT.3

18+, angst, smut, manipulative mattheo

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Since your encounter in the library you have done everything to avoid Mattheo which is proving to be impossible since he is everywhere. The last few weeks have been absolute hell as despite your insistence you don't want a fling with him he hasn't left you alone. Since he found out you did in fact like him he has been nothing but smug and even though you didn't think it was possible his teasing has gotten worse. Unlike in the past when you wore your mask of indifference he sees straight through it now and you hate how he knows the effect he has on you. You can't even get through a class without him whispering something in your ear or touching you in subtle ways which leaves you thinking about him for days.

He knows it as well, that he has wormed his way into your mind, your gaze is drawn to him in every room and you swear he can read your thoughts sometimes. You don't know how he has turned you into this flustered mess every time he is around but you hate him for it. You hate how he plagues every waking moment with a desire you cant satiate. You used to wish to feel like this, how all your friends did with their boyfriends but now you would do anything to not need the one boy that could ruin your heart. You have never even craved someone sexually before so this is whole new territory a plunge into lust completely unfamiliar to you. You feel like you are drowning in his intoxicating energy. Masturbating only intensifies the feeling making you feel even more lonely and your thoughts stray back to his comment 'if you knew how I could make you feel you wouldn't be able to stay away from me.' Have you made the wrong decision?

If you didn't have feelings this would all be so much easier, you could sleep with him and be done with it, satisfying your body but you know it will never be as simple as that. Why can't it be though? Your body tries to find a loophole, any reason to let yourself have him. Everyone else has flings so why can't you? Then there is the flicker of hope even though you know its stupid that perhaps if you sleep with him he may eventually want more but as your past has taught you that is a recipe for heartbreak.

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Mattheo has always been determined but even Y/N is testing his strength. It has been 3 weeks now since the library. 3 fucking weeks and she still hasn't gave in. 3 weeks he has touched himself every day imagining her underneath him. Around her he has his usual cocky demeanor but little does she know how he can't get her out of his head. Not even just sexually either he has always desired her but since she has started avoiding him he misses her presence, the friendship they had. He doesn't get to see any more of those warm smiles directed at him or her inquisitive questions. He sees how much space she took up in his life and without her, he searches for anything to fill it.

She is clearly running from her feelings, putting as much distance between the two to try and forget him. He originally thought cornering her at every chance, whispering those dirty words into her ear would make her snap so she would come to him but it only seems to be driving her away more. He probably would have gave up by now, finding another girl to chase but there is something about her that he can't let go of.

His confidence starts to falter and his mind for the first time entertains the thought of what if she actually doesn't want me? What if I can't have her? Her one requirement was a relationship he thinks about pretending he will try so he can sleep with her and be done with these incessant thoughts but he couldn't do that to her. Maybe another girl but not Y/N. Would dating her be so bad? He shakes his head at the thought inwardly squirming at the thought of someone depending on him.

Clearly he is getting no closer to his goal so maybe its time to switch things up. Give her a taste of her own medicine and see if she really doesn't want him.

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You settle into DADA already dreading the moment Mattheo arrives, having to sit in your assigned seat next to him. You wonder how he is going to taunt you today and you pray he goes easy on you as you are nearing your breaking point, not sure how much longer you can push down these feelings. They have swarmed your mind, taking away any logic to the point you are even considering just fucking him once to get him out your system. For fucks sake when did you start thinking like a boy.

You hear the door open and you turn around watching him walk in laughing with Theo and despite yourself you stare, as always captivated by his smile. He walks over and takes his seat not even glancing at you. Your brows furrow but you turn your attention back to your book. Waiting for snape in silence with him was torture, you clearly not used to this version of him as by now he would already be incessantly flirting. Your knee bounces under the table and you can't stop the words spilling out 'hey.'

He glances over to you 'Hi' he says bluntly. What is up with him. 'You okay?'

'Mhm' he looks back at his book doodling.

'You don't seem like yourself are you mad at me or something?'

'Why would I be mad at you?'

'I don't know your just...'

He looks over a dead look in his eye and raises his eyebrows 'I am what? Not flirting you wanted me to leave you alone didn't you?' There is no longer that playful gleam he has and it sends a pang right through your heart. Your mouth opens and closes not knowing what to say. He turns his attention back to his notebook and you turn facing the front of the class as snape walks in. The whole class he doesn't even look at you once and despite your prayers he would stop you are suddenly filled with an emptiness.

After the lesson finishes he goes over to some blonde girl in your year whispering in her ear causing her to giggle. They walk out flirting and you just stand there with your jaw dropped as Pansy walks over to you. 'What the hell was that about.'

'I... I dont know he didn't speak to me all lesson.' She sees the hurt in your eyes and links your arm taking you out of the class. You know you have no right to be annoyed you have been avoiding him and telling him to leave you alone for weeks. You don't know what is worse his undivided attention or lack of it. It feels wrong seeing it directed onto another girl especially after months of you being his sole focus but you guess he has finally gotten bored of the chase. A part of you screams mine, mine, mine, even when you know the soul crushing reality you are in where he will never be anybody's.

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For the rest of the week he is the exact same towards you, cutting you out of his life like you were nothing. The heartbreak threatens to keep you in bed but Pansy being the best friend refuses to see you like that. So you go through the motions every day with two states at war within you. There is still the festering desire, the pull to him and a need to experience just how 'good' he can make you feel, but there is also the part of you grieving, the realization you can never have him. Too many times you have entertained the thoughts of settling for sex its better to have any piece of him then this nothingness, not even friendship. At least you would still have his attention but you would fear the day he decides to drop you for a new conquest. You were so close to giving in but now it seems he doesn't even want you anymore and your pride will not have you begging. You refuse to chase another boy, the walls you have built up to avoid vulnerability thankfully stop you from acting on your destructive choices.

Avoiding your friend group at the off chance of seeing Mattheo with some girl on his lap you venture to other parts of the castle like the astronomy tower. You sit looking at the view of course thinking about him and are startled when you hear someone walk up. You turn around and breathe a sigh of relief seeing Theo.

'Hey you long time no see.'

I smile softly 'Hey Theo sorry just been busy.'

He walks over taking a seat next to me on the ledge 'Nah I don't buy that.'

'Huh?'

'You are avoiding us or someone actually' he raises his eyebrows knowingly. For someone so ditzy he has always been far too observational for my liking. Mattheo is his best friend though I guess. 'What the fuck happened between you two' He says pulling out a joint to smoke.

'Who' you ask weakly looking drained.

'Come on don't give me that I know there was something going on between you two I have only got half the story from him.'

You sigh 'Y/N you can barely be in the same room as him for two seconds.'

'I don't know Theo it's all just so fucked' he offers you the joint and you shake your head.

'You like him yeah?'

You nod 'so what's the problem then?'

'I like him but he doesn't like me back he just want's a fling or something casual and I know I will just end up with my heart broke so I am not even going there.'

He nods 'yeah he told me as much, you were fine for weeks though why aren't you talking?'

'That's what I don't get out of nowhere he just ignores me and is all over that fucking blonde girl' you scrunch your nose in disgust 'guess he got bored of me.'

He snorts 'Ah it makes sense now' he exhales the smoke and you wait for him to carry on 'he isn't bored of you love trust me, he likes you more then he is letting on.'

'It doesn't seem like it he hasn't even looked at me.'

He stares at me for awhile contemplating something 'Promise you won't tell him I told you this he will kill me' you nod your head in confirmation 'he said something about giving you a taste of your own medicine he is probably just trying to get your attention another way trust me I have tried it plenty of times.'

'Wait what?'

'Trust me he isn't done with you yet I have never seen him this obsessed and he wouldn't just let go of you that easily.'

'That bastard' you say causing Theo to chuckle. 'Right I will leave you to it' he says seeing you deep in thought 'promise you wont let him push you away though I have missed you' he nudges your shoulder.

'I know I wont, thanks Theo.'

'You coming the party tonight? You best be.'

'Mhm Pansy is forcing me either way' you laugh. 'I will see you there.'

'Bye Doll' he says going back, leaving you to your thoughts. You would have never seen through his little act, when he wants to act cold he is fucking good at it. You can't help the thrill that goes through you at the thought he isn't done with you completely but at the same time it doesn't change anything. One thing it has brought you clarity on is that you love him chasing you, despite your protests you looked forward to his flirting and attention. It was intense and disorientating half of you craving him the other half doing what you thought was right. You have so many self imposed rules you would have never dared to break but what if instead of fighting the waves you let yourself be submerged in them. What if you indulged in all you have been uselessly holding yourself back from. You have always been too self disciplined, too restrained. Fun is a foreign words to you and perhaps he could be the awakening to life beyond rules.

You have always been competitive, now its time to beat him at his own game. Two can play at that Matty.

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You sit at the party with a new found energy and confidence in you. You sit with the group not caring about whatever girl he decides to drag over tonight. Unlike the last week when the hurt was evident all over your face you have an unbothered aura, not even giving him the attention of a glance. He must have sensed the difference because you feel his gaze all over you. You are drinking a bit more then usual which you attribute to your new mindset and mostly the nerves. You look around at the table in front of you and frown as all the bottles are empty. You ask the boys if they have any alcohol left and they shake their head. 'Shit that was all we had how have we drank it all' Theo complains.

'Probably Y/N' Mattheo adds in angrily 'She has drank near enough a whole bottle to herself.'

'Excuse me I am sharing with Pansy' you cross your arms glaring at him.

'Yeah and you shouldn't be drinking that much as it is' you just roll your eyes at him.

Draco looks around the room seeing the Gryffindor's with plenty bottles to spare 'fuck sake of course they have some like they will give us any.'

Of course being the only single girl in the group everyone's head turns to you 'What?' you ask. 'But they might give it to you Y/N' Draco implies. I choke out a laugh 'You want me to go steal their drinks?'

'Come on you know Cormac has always had a thing for you I am sure he will be more then willing to share' Theo chuckles.

'Only if you are comfortable Y/N' Blaise ever the gentleman adds.

'No fucking way she isn't flirting with that creep so you can have some drinks' Mattheo says angrily.

Annoyance runs through you not wanting to listen to Mattheo, and you realize this could perfectly work for your plan. 'No I want to I don't mind him and I am not sitting here sober all night'

'Atta girl' Theo says as Mattheo goes to protest 'Y/N!' But you walk off ignoring him.

You walk over to were the Gryffindors are sat and they all look over Cormac beaming brightly 'Y/N hey!'

'Hey Cormac how are you?' You sit next to him smiling. You aren't the best at flirting but you hope the fact he likes you will be enough.

'I am very good even better now, so what brings you over here?'

'Well we have run out of drinks and I happened to see you have a few bottles over here you wouldn't mind sharing a few would you?' you give him your best doe eyed look.

'Let me guess for your Slytherin friends, I would be happy to give you some but they don't deserve any' he glares over at them. You touch his arm gently 'I know they can be dickheads but just think of doing it for me' you pull out your sweetest smile 'please Cormac I would owe you one.'

He smiles at you and you know you have won him over 'Fine but you owe me yeah? How about you repay me with a date?'

Cormac isn't that bad he gets a bit of a bad credit but he has never been pushy with you so you just pretend in your head like you are going out with a friend. You obviously aren't interested but you know how disappointed they will be if you go back with nothing. 'I don't know about a date but how about we go for coffee to start with?' He looks a bit disappointed but still smiles 'Okay sure, take as much as you need' he points to the table. You wrap your arms around his neck pulling him in for a hug 'you are the best thank you.' You take two bottles of firewhisky 'I will catch up with you later bye' you say running off.

You wave the bottles as you walk over to the group and Theo picks you up in a hug 'that's our girl' you giggle and pour yourself a drink. You notice Mattheo raging and a thrill goes through you at the look in his eyes. 'So what did you have to promise him' Pansy asks knowing him well 'Erm nothing he just gave me them' you say lying but she knows straight away. 'You liar tell me.'

You roll your eyes 'just coffee but I would have went anyway.' She laughs 'well thanks we owe you one now.'

You sit talking and laughing almost forgetting about Mattheo. You announce you are going the toilet and you make your way to them before someone grabs your wrist pulling you to face them. Of course it is him.

'What are you doing?' You say a bit startled.

'What the fuck was that what do you think your doing with Cormac?'

You try pulling your wrist back but he pushes you against the wall so you can't move. 'Mind your fucking business, what have you decided to talk to me today?'

He clenches his jaw 'Do you like him?'

'Seriously?'

'Do. You. Like. Him.' He says dangerously slow. You look away but he pulls your chin to face him and you grit out 'No I don't.'

'So you fucking promised him a date?'

'It isn't a date its coffee and what does it have to do with you?'

'You are not going I will tell him myself.'

'You can't tell me what to do, who...'

'Yes I can princess' He says interrupting you putting his hand around your throat softly which momentarily shuts you up. He smirks as you go quiet. 'I think you like me telling you what to do' he cocks his head staring down at you. A blush rises on your cheeks and you are just glad for the dark room.

'No I don't' you say but it sounds weaker then you intended. You push his chest trying to create space but he just moves closer his hand caressing your cheek and the other on your waist 'Still resisting me sweetheart?'

'Thought you were done with me anyway' you say trying to sound nonchalant but it came out more bitter.

He smirks 'you didn't like it did you? My attention not being yours, you can play hard to get all you want but I know you will always think of me.'

You glare at him 'Is that what that little stunt with Cormac was, and this little dress you trying to get my attention love?'

'You are so full of yourself not everything is about you!'

'Oh but I think it is' he plays with the hem of your dress 'It is all a sad little attempt to get me to think of you again isn't it.'

You snort 'Like you ever stopped.'

He smiles 'Mhm your quite right, you know I haven't been able to fuck another girl all I can think about is you' he says huskily.

You narrow your eyes 'your lying.'

'No love I am really not I fucking wish I was, I can't get you out of my head' He says seriously his head dropping down to yours. 'Now be honest' he tilts your face up until your noses are basically touching 'have you been thinking about me?'

Before thinking, the alcohol taking over 'yeah' you say seductively.

'I knew it I could see it in your eyes every time you looked at me. You know hard it was staying away from your pretty face.'

'Why did you then' you ask looking a bit hurt. 'You kept telling me to leave you alone so I thought I would see if you really wanted me to. I love a chase but you kicked my ego a bit there.'

'I missed you Matt' you hold his hand stroking your cheek and he rests his forehead against your, eyes closed. 'I know gorgeous I missed you too, you really think I would let you go that easy?' He chuckles wickedly.

'Why do I still want you so much its not fair Matt why can't you like me back then you could have me.'

'Fucks sake love, you know that isn't the issue I am never going to be the man you want I will eventually fuck things up anyway its best we just keep it casual.'

'You like me?' You ask bemused never even thinking that was a possibility. He laughs 'Isn't it obvious?'

'No Matt not really I thought it was only about sex for you.'

'Yeah, yeah it was but... I don't know its different with you I would have gave up a long fucking time ago if it weren't.'

You huff 'I don't get it then why can't we just date I am not asking for your hand in marriage I just don't want you to use me and throw me away when you are done.'

'It never would have been that. You are mine. Whether you like it or not.'

Your core tightened at those words but he doesn't have to know that. You huff 'I am not yours you don't just get to decide that. And how do I know you wont get bored and leave after you get what you want.'

'I could never get bored of you, trust me once I fuck you I am not letting go and you wont want anyone else.'

'I bet you say that to every girl.'

He groans 'You are the most stubborn person I have ever met.'

'I am not stubborn I just don't fall for your false promises.'

'You are never going to believe me, you really think I would do that to you just throw you away when I am satisfied?'

'You have done that to plenty other girls.'

'You are not other girls haven't I proved that. Yes I may have been a dick but I care about you I don't know what you have done but I feel things I shouldn't.'

You sigh also realizing that no matter how much he reassures you that he isn't just using you for your body you will never believe him. You can stand here going in circles but the only way you will find out is if you take the risk which is something your heart is terrified to do. You slowly start seeing it was never a fear of something casual but only being seen as an object, discarded after you served your purpose. You know he will never give you a relationship and your heart hurts at the fact you have to sacrifice that, but isn't it enough he likes you too? It kills you that he is scared for anything more but you see he is trying in his own way, offering you all he knows.

'What are you thinking love' he says looking tortured pulling you from your thoughts. He must see your walls crumbling as a gleam fills his eyes and he moves even closer if that was possible. You already know you have made up your mind but you aren't making it that easy for him.

You pull him in for a kiss which stuns him for a second before he brings one hand to your face and the other your waist pulling you flush against his chest. He deepens the kiss and your hands tangle in his hair causing a low moan to escape his mouth. It gets more and more passionate, his tongue swirling with yours until you pull away gasping for breathe. Why the fuck didn't you do that sooner.

'Your never getting away from me now' he says pulling you back in before pulling away and placing kisses down your neck as you flutter your eyes closed. You are so entangled in one another, weeks worth of desire being released you don't hear someone enter the corridor until you hear a loud cough. You pull away from Mattheo gasping but the grip on your waist remains firm. Across from you is Pansy and Theo smirking.

'So that is were you two went' she laughs 'I was getting worried.' You pull away from him completely attempting to smooth your hair down.

'Back at it again then' Theo raises his brows, Mattheo smirks and you mutter 'Shut up Theo' causing him to chuckle. Pansy your saving grace stopping you from going too fast says 'I am going to bed you coming?'

'Yeah lets go' you walk over to her quickly linking your arms.

'Y/N...'

'Night Matty, night Theo see you tomorrow' you say and quickly walk off with Pansy.

As you get to your room she squeals 'Girl fucking tell me everything now...'

#harry potter #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle smut #mattheo imagine #mattheo fluff #theo nott #mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo riddle #slytherin boys x reader #slytherin #harry potter fanfiction #fanfic #mattheo x you #mattheo x y/n #mattheo smut #mattheo x reader #mattheoxreader #slytherin boys smut #slytherin boys

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felixcloud6288 · 4 months ago

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Dungeon Meshi Chapter 91

The title image reminds me of the idiom "Catching the tiger by the tail". It refers to someone finding themselves in a situation that's far worse than they expected but must proceed.

Laios and the lion face off this chapter, and they both end up dealing with something far more than what they expect.

Between writing the last chapter's post and now, I noticed most but not all the demon hands have five fingers.

Oh. The demon is still an infinite presence even though it's currently in a mortal shell. Okay then.

The first thing the demon ever did in this world was offer itself as food to fulfill an animal's desire to eat. And it gradually learned what forms each creature finds more desirable and would take those forms so it was more likely to be eaten.

Now that the demon's plan has succeeded, it's falling back on that old behaviour. Laios is hungry and the demon happens to be the ideal form to feed him. The demon is content to just let Laios eat him until he's full.

Love Senshi's reaction to all this. He's definitely stressed out like the others, but he understands he can't do anything about the situation. So he's just washing the dishes to give himself a bit of normalcy while the apocalypse and this battle between godly beings happens around him.

The demon only began attacking Laios when he almost attacked Chilchuck. It's still bound by its order to keep Laios's companions safe. The demon concluded that it needs to kill Laios to keep that order. In a way, maybe the demon is still unable to do anything without someone giving it a command.

In chapter 88, I brought up how Demon Laios uses a different grip when two-handing Laios's sword. This is also true when they hold their swords to perform a downward thrust. Laios holds his sword with his right hand above his left.

The demon instead holds the sword with its left hand above its right.

This fight looks exactly like what any fight with an ant army is like. Laios is far stronger against one instance of the demon. The problem is that he's fighting an infinite swarm. They're even using various ant-like tactics such as stinging him from the outside and crawling into any potential body cavities to attack internally.

At this point I have to ask "Is there anything not currently under the waterwalk effect?"

What's the opposite of the "Be careful what you wish for" trope? The way it normally works is the person says "I wish for the thing" and after the genie grants it, the person's all "I shouldn't have wished for the thing" and the genie is all "Haha, foolish mortal! You should have considered the nature and consequences of your wish."

The demon is experiencing the opposite. Laios was all "I wish for the thing" and the demon granted it. But now the demon is all "I shouldn't have granted the thing" and Laios is all "Haha, foolish demon! You should have considered the nature and consequences of my wish."

When the party was swallowed by the lion, they entered a space filled with the bones and ruins of the world it destroyed. When the lion forced its way into Laios, it found itself in a space where Laios sat atop a mountain of the bodies he had just eaten.

I think this space represents everything the given being has consumed to keep itself alive. Eating is the exclusive privilege of the living. No matter what you are, to live means to stand over a mountain of the bodies you had to eat to survive.

But the demon's space is the opposite of this. It doesn't need to eat to sustain itself. Instead, the space inside it was full of the things it never got to eat. What allows it to keep going is not what it has eaten, but rather what it regrets never getting to eat. Even though its plan succeeded, the demon won't be satisfied because the desires of the living are not what kept it going.

The "can eat and digest desires" note was buried in the piles of text from last chapter. But it was partially out of frame. There's just enough there that it could be possible to figure out the full note if you're willing to compare words.

And no. There's no way Laios planned to do this. He's just bumbling about and everyone got super lucky the lion granted exactly what Laios wanted without ever confirming what Laios wished for and it just so happens that Laios's monster design included the one thing that could beat the demon.

I think the demon's ultimate desire is to be part of this world. It understands that creatures eat and are eaten, but it doesn't quite understand the true nature of eating and being eaten since it is an infinite being that can never be fully consumed and it eats something that doesn't actually sate it.

Laios may have actually granted the demon's wish at this moment. The demon only acts to fulfill others' wishes. Even its plan to swallow the world is ultimately acting to fulfill other people's wishes. But this moment where it's trying to stop Laios from eating its desire is the first moment the demon is truly doing something solely for itself. It realized it is in danger and tried to save itself.

This infinite being felt a sense of mortality as something tried to consume it. It fought with the desire to save itself. And then it was overpowered and consumed.

This is such an amazing image. It looks like a painting you'd see in a renaissance art museum. It is the depiction of a great moment in a myth. Two beings are in conflict. Both are human and not human; monster and not monster. One is a monster that ate humans and gained a human mind to become closer to them. The other is a human that ate monsters and gained a monster form to become closer with them. Which is more human? Which is more monster? There is no way to truly draw that distinction.

And when all humans and all monsters had been eaten and they stood atop a mountain of corpses left behind by their consumption, there was nothing left to eat but each other.

That description is me exaggerating a lot but I really just wanted to get across how powerful and amazing that image felt to me.

When the lion noticed its desires were gone, it mourned how its "self" was disappearing. That is what truly happens when one is eaten. The "self" is killed and what remains becomes part of something else.

Anyway, that fight ends in the closest possible equivalent to a mutual kill as both of them will spend the rest of their existence robbed of what they want.

Laios is worried this means Falin can't be resurrected. But honestly, it probably means Laios isn't going to get to stay a monster.

When the demon first came to this world, it observed how every creature desired to eat. It would give itself to them to satisfy that desire, but they would always become hungry again. The demon decided to eat something so it could understand why everything eats even though that doesn't permanently satisfy their hunger.

The demon is an infinite being. It wasn't able to truly understand the reason behind eating because its appetite was as infinite as the rest of it. In the end, it concluded that starving was the point because it never felt the satisfaction of being full.

Also, yep. Izutsumi's actions led to the lion's defeat.

Izutsumi attacks "Laios" -> The party realizes he's a fake -> They tell everyone to stop him -> The lion summons Monster Laios -> Monster Laios eats the lion's desires -> The lion is defeated

back

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi readthrough

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themultiversegazer · 2 months ago

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Shifting realisation

I came to a realisation that parallels shifting, which I wanted to share.

Recently, I have been very busy, but I've been trying to balance work with happiness. I'm aware about how the brain works, and how it needs a range of different types of activities and stimulation in a day to function effectively, instead of just working on the same thing, in the same way.

I started to stress about how I was going to do this and fit all of these activities in. It felt like slotting in all the pieces of a one thousand piece jigsaw on a timer.

The interesting part was, I've never had this issue before. My mind naturally tells me what it wants in the form of my desires. It wants colouring, it craves food, the outside, daydreaming, music, etc. But when I started planning it, trying to force everything in to make sure it was at its best, it actually started to do the opposite. (Bear with me, I promise this is about shifting).

I found it difficult to relax, and because of this high stress and worrying about how I was going to do all these things, it actually made it worse. I began to struggle to function more, forgetting things easily, and a fun task became more like a chore. I tried to make it natural, as it normally would be, but regardless I still struggled.

What would normally come naturally has been made worse by focusing too much attention and stress and organisation where it isn't needed. And it's exactly the same for shifting.

People force things, make sure everything is exactly how they think it needs to be, worry about making everything perfect. They try to do it "naturally", but ultimately they are still behind the curtains attempting to shuffle all the little pieces in the perfect way that will make them shift.

We need to remember that shifting truly is natural. You don't need to worry about "fitting everything in" to your methods, or doing it all in or at a certain time . You don't need to work yourself up over the smallest details because you're worried about the effect they'll have on your shift.

It doesn't matter.

Shifting is just as natural as the scenario I described. You don't need to problem-solve every single step. You don't need steps at all, no rules, no guidelines. Just go where your heart takes you, do whatever you want, however you want.

#reality shifting #shiftblr #shifting #shifting realities #desiredreality #shifting community #shifting reality #shifting antis dni #shifting blog #shifters

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deadly-diminuendo · 4 months ago

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WIP Wednesday

Time to share another snippet! And it's actually happening on a Wednesday this time! The lovely @amoremagnificentbastard tagged me this time, so thank you! 💖

I've unfortunately had a bunch of things getting in the way of my writing time lately, but here is yet another piece of the upcoming third chapter of A Fitting Reunion. And we're starting to move into NSFW territory, so check it out under the cut!

"Let me state the obvious because it seems obvious is what you need: I love you." How new to your ears those words still are and yet you already think the sound of them sweeter than any song. You beam at him, because of course you do, and he beams right back, because of course he does, because this, this togetherness, is what you both want, what you both need, what you both deserve. That look, so full of adoration, beckons you forward, and so you move in slowly, kiss him softly, hold him sweetly. He does the same, at first, an arm wrapping around your back, the opposite hand snaking its way down to cup your backside. Not that you resist. Nor do you resist when, unexpectedly, he pulls you hard against him, laughter bubbling out of you from the surprise and the clumsiness of it. And yet, here you are in his lap, and here he is guiding your legs to straddle him, and it dawns upon you just how suggestive this new position is. Even the slightest roll of your hips might have… well, quite the arousing effect. Oh, he knows exactly what he's doing, the sneak. And, if this is how he wants you, then that must mean— "And," he says before you can finish the thought, "I'm willing to explore anything and everything that loving you means." Anything. Everything. Never have those two words sounded so sublime, his voice like velvet, his implication indisputable. Your imagination runs rampant, unlimited and unsuppressed, your mind opening itself fully to passion and possibility. And you hope imagination will blossom into beautiful reality. Astarion buries his face into your neck, peppering it with little kisses—maddeningly where you know he knows it tickles—revelling in every giggle he draws out of you. Vexing though it is, yes, the levity of it amuses you, calms your nerves. You did, back in those early days, feel most ease with him whenever you would let yourselves be silly. You remember it well. Perhaps so does he. And then—when tension fades, when you are limp and pliable in his arms—the mood shifts. Then, he kisses you where it doesn't tickle. Then, those sounds spilling out of you are decidedly not laughter. His mouth moves to meet yours. A heady mixture of love and lust swirls about in your mind, and you succumb to it, to him, to every brush of his tongue and graze of his teeth. Almost embarrassing how little it takes to make you squirm about in his lap—but his body answers yours just as readily, the twitch of him against you leaving no doubt to his burgeoning desire. This is really going to happen, isn't it? "And"—you mourn the loss of his lips—"if all of this is somehow not obvious enough"—but his husky tone has you enraptured—"then let me be clear: I will not be satisfied tonight unless and until I've fucked you thoroughly."

No pressure tags (and my apologies to anyone who has been tagged recently already!): @strixamans, @denesmera, @goodgirlgonebard, @verbenaa, @larvasmoon, @vividiana, @inkymoonbunny @dramatiquechipmunk, @khywren, @roguishcat, @larvasmoon + anyone else who wants to share something! ❤️

#wip wednesday #wip games #snippet games #astarion #bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion fanfiction #a fitting reunion #my wips #my writing

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cocoatonedcurls · 10 months ago

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become an academic weapon 📚🔫✨

hi all !!

with my GCSEs this year, and only a few weeks before back to school, I decided to really lock in yesterday 🫣

so I thought I'd take all the info I've come across while scrolling through studytok and put it into a little post for everyone looking to improve in their studies (& for my benefit as well 🙈)

motivation

this is probably the biggest factor when it comes to locking into your studies, motivation can quite literally make or break your academic achievements (😦)

so, its very important you motivate yourself, and moreover, stay motivated 😭

i've made it sound daunting but motivating yourself is lowkey easier than you think, here's a few ways to do it:

picturing yourself in 10 years, where all your studying and hard work has paid off - you can't be that person without doing the work that they did 😬

you can also do the opposite of the above - imagine how disappointed you'll be if you didn't work as hard as you could have and failed

"revenge studying" - the most toxic yet probably the most widely effective technique - working hard so you can beat than the people who are better than you

make studying aesthetic - create pinterest boards, look at quotes and tiktoks, make success your greatest desire

make it an addiction - if you're bored? study. had a bad day? nothing like setting yourself up for the best future. having a great day? go make it better by making yourself smarter.

get a motivational study app - i LOVE 'Study Bunny' I've been using it for two days now and it genuinely motivates me to be more productive to keep my bunny happy 🙃

resources

obviously, you need some help where you can get it despite all the controversies surrounding studying and the use of the internet, there are some amazing online resources you can use that will actively help you 📚

Quizlet/Anki - both of these flashcard platforms are incredibly useful - Quizlet is a fun platform and you can search for flashcards made by other people - Anki, in my opinion, is better than Quizlet for memorising, and you can import flashcards from Quizlet.

Mindnote - A mindmap making software online, a user-friendly interface + is quick and easy to make them - Great for visual learners

YouTube - the teachers on YouTube are incredibly helpful and can explain any topics you're confused about very quickly and very thoroughly

Spark Notes - great for English literature, with in-depth analysis of your texts and modern translations

Physics & Maths Tutor - free past papers and topic questions for core subjects and a few others, great for active recall

Study Bunny/Flora - helps keep track of your progress and keeps you motivated, I recommend Study Bunny because I can see how much work I've done of each subject and tick off things on my checklist

these are just a few out of many other resources so go do some of your own research, especially if there are websites that help with a specific subject

techniques

different study techniques work best for different people, no technique is a one-size-fits-all, some people are visual learners, others perform best by memorising & etc.

active recall - the only one-size-fits-all method - is a cognitive function that you carry out to remember things in tests, so practising this is a must -> the best way to do this is by completing topic questions and past papers using minimal amounts of notes. basically just testing yourself before the actual test

Spaced-out revision - one of the best ways to make sure things stick in your mind, revise a topic/subject and revisit it every few days, eg. 1, 3, 5, 9, 15, 30; and by the 30-day mark it should be stuck in your mind because your brain believes its something that you need to know in the long run and stores it in your long term memory

Flashcards - great to memorise content for the test, especially subjects that are tested with orals

Scribble method - scribbling on a piece of paper while revising the content in any form, reading, listening, etc. helps your brain store the information you're consuming more effectively

Feynman method - basically just explaining the topic you're revising to someone, this helps you develop your understanding and catches out any areas you're unsure about to revise later

making mindmaps - this is great for visual learners, especially if you use different colours for each section of the map so that you can associate each concept with each colour and recall them easily

again, those are just a few that come to mind. do your own research and find out what works best for you 😇

while studying

knowing how to study effectively is also a crucial aspect of success (obviously) 🤭

here are a few tips:

don't listen to music with lyrics, instead you can listen to lofi tracks, cafe/library asmr, brown noise, jazz music (my favourite)

set yourself a study slot, like 2 hours every day at a specific time & set a focus filter on your phone for the duration of your study time

make an aesthetic/cute study space so you can enjoy your time in that space and it doesn't feel like a chore

get a whiteboard to make learning more interactive & fun

light a specific candle whenever you're studying so your brain knows to associate the scent with working

have regular breaks eg. every half hour for 5-10 mins

reward yourself afterwards, so you associate studying with a good experience

consistency is key, the more you study the easier & more fun it becomes 🙃 the more you study the more you are likely to succeed and fulfil your dreams ✨

remember though, academics is not everyone's thing:

"you cannot judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree"

everyone is good at something, and it doesn't make anyone lesser or greater 🫶

if you try your best, that is all that matters 🫠

- li 🌘

#academic weapon #academic validation #academicexcellence #student #gcse student #student life #studying #study motivation #study blog #study aesthetic #studyspo #studyblr #science #english #maths #gcse studyblr #gcse2025 #tumblr fyp #it girl

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