#.you were sick

[indefensibleactions]

[mythicalcoolkid]

You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[gongedtornado]

i was super lazy with this but i needed to get this idea out or i wouldve shrivelled

[02511213942]

katelyn and marissa's adventures in being normal cheerleaders for the world's most insane college sports team 🎉🎀🧡

[lotus-pear]

charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️

[foldingfittedsheets]

One of the bummers of being a super taster is how Big mold tastes. And because I can taste it before it’s actually sprouting I’m often disbelieved. Like, sorry restaurant. I know I’ve gotten this sandwich before and I know your cucumber is usually fresh, but today it’s moldy. I understand you can’t see the mold. But I swear. It’s there.

Tonight we had hot dogs and we picked up the buns today. Unfortunately neither of us realized the best by date was also today. The first bun I had was fine but I hit corruption midway down the second bun. I just ate the hotdog bun less, but we had to scrap the rest of the bag.

[ash-and-starlight]

one day, in a thousand years

[iwasbored777]

The height difference in ITSV vs in ATSV is killing me 😭 Miles and Gwen were so shorter than Peter, now they're almost as tall as him

[they-them-pussy]

new metric for media literacy for film bros is if they understand the barbie movie.

the kens are first presented as accessories to their barbies and it's pointed out loud that they don't even have places to stay in barbieland. one of the barbies straight up asks "wait, where do the kens stay?". they're just arm candy made to look pretty and cool while the barbies run their world.

but that's fucked up!!! the film presents it as fucked up! that's why ken screams "YOU FAILED ME!" and why he is insecure in the first place because he wanted to be respected and seen as a person, not someone who only exists in relation to someone else. should he have done what he did? no!!! that's why it's part of the conflict! the root of both of their breakdowns was in their society in that the barbies are supposed to be perfect and the kens exist in relation to them! it's barbie and ken. he was a footnote. that's why barbie apologizes to him in the end and tells him he can be himself. she doesn't have to exist by some set of rules and neither does he! it's barbie and it's ken! sure, the resolution to the whole barbieland issue wasn't perfect, BUT KEN'S WHOLE ARC IS ABOUT HOW THEIR WORLD FAILED MEN. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS MOVIE WAS 'WOMEN GOOD MAN BAD'. WHAT ABOUT THE NUANCE

[botlabyrinth]

sally’s “i want him to know who he is, before your family tries to tell him who they want him to be.” and poseidon saying “he will be stronger for it on the other side. his mother raised him well.” and he is. percy is stronger on the other side. we’ve seen it so clearly through his quest. his confusion at how you have to earn the gods’ love, earn their respect. his conversation with annabeth on the train about it. his unwillingness to accept the ways of the gods. him realizing his mother wanted to keep him away from this world, and annabeth being the one to tell him that maybe it was for the better that sally did that. so that he wouldn’t be like them. annabeth’s “he isn’t that way. he’s better than that. maybe i was that way once. but i don’t want to be that way anymore.” the way percy would’ve turned out with a similar worldview to annabeth’s if he had been sent to camp so early on. and annabeth’s worldview changing so quickly after meeting percy. sally jackson raised that kid right. you would think that as a demigod, the half god side of percy is what’s important. but that’s not what makes him the hero. it’s the half mortal side of him that does. his humanity, his mortality, his mother. that is why percy is the hero that he is.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

i would like to draw him more i think..

[betweenblackberrybranches]

Soooo Hanahaki disease am i right?

Part 2 Part 3

Luckily the guys arent in as immidiate danger as y/n because they can just open up their insides and get all that stuff out before it gets too bad... they could also just try to get over y/n but they would never do that

And y/n is just having a time being helplessly in love with their animatronic coworkers, too afraid to confess and too stubborn to forget about them

White clover and forget-me-nots if anyone is interested

[marshmellowtea]

trying to interact with cis woman-centric feminist media as a trans man (especially a gnc trans man) is a simultaneously bizarre and exhausting experience lmao. do you know how offputting it is to read about how men are the root of all evils in the world and how they'll never understand what it's like to be a woman when you literally have boobs and wear dresses and look far more like barbie than you ever will ken like please motherfucker i don't think i'm incapable of understanding your experiences actually. el oh el

[ohrackham]

what was the point of lila thinking home was a feeling she didn't deserve and could never earn until she found diego. what was the point of them finding deep, meaningful love in each other. what was the point of lila opening her heart and confessing that all she really wanted was a family with him.

what was the point of developing diego and lila over two seasons, creating such a beautiful, chaotic bond, just to destroy it for no reason.

[icewindandboringhorror]

On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?

*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)

*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)

(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )

(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)