#2. System Recovery Mode
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super-ion ¡ 4 months ago
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The Engineer
Part 6
(part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5)
I catch a glimpse of the Pilot as she is wheeled towards the med bay. Her eyes are wild, panicked, with the glaze of just having been torn out of herself.
For a moment, as the gurney slides by, those eyes briefly clear, ice blue pinning me to the spot. She reaches out with an emaciated arm, fast as lightning, and takes hold of my wrist in an iron grip.
She moves her lips, at first unable to form words, unable to remember how to use human speech organs.
"Do your job," she says, slowly, deliberately, as if that singular command is the only thing in the universe that matters.
Something in the gurney clicks and whirs and she slips into catatonia. Her grip loosens and her fingers trail away.
Something has gone terribly wrong in this last engagement.
Alarms blare and booted feet thunder past me.
My own feet join the cacophony.
I have a job to do.
The Pilot is alive and she is now the responsibility of the med team.
My responsibility is the Machine.
Do your job.
The words echo in my head as I sprint the remaining distance to the vestibule.
A tech tries to stop me, he says something I don't quite process. I shove past him and am greeted by a scene out of a nightmare.
Morrigan's hatch has been severed, the emergency release pyros having been triggered. The parts of her hull visible to the vestibule are pitted and blackened. I can't even find the stencilled lettering of her factory designated identifier, just an ugly hole torn open by an incendiary.
Inside, the cockpit is a mess of fire suppressant and crash gel. Indicator lights form a constellation of blinking red and half of the display panels, the half that still work, flash an endless stream of error messages.
Everything reeks of ammonia and ozone and scorched metal.
"Me or Morrigan could get dead in the next engagement."
The nonchalance with which those words had been delivered caught me off guard when they were spoken. Morrigan and Her Pilot are untouchable. They were supposed to be untouchable.
Do your job.
I begin to strip as fast as humanly possible. I need to get in there. I need to know that she is alive.
The tech that tried to stop me grabs my arm. You can't go in there, the reactor has not been stabilized.
I tear myself from his grip.
I have a job to do, I say with a snarl.
Something in my expression, my bared teeth, my feral eyes, convinces him to leave me be. He stands down, hands raised in surrender. He could call security, but by the time they get here, I'll already be jacked in, and it will be too late for them to do anything.
Do your job. Do your job. Do your job.
My job is information recovery and analysis.
My job is to save as much as I can.
I need to save Her.
One of the cameras spots me and the others focus on me in panicked motion. The one nearest to me has a cracked lens and the iris flutters open and closed, unable to focus.
The cradle has been mangled nearly beyond recognition. They had to physically cut the Pilot out of Her, neither of them willing to let go of the other. The still operable mechanisms of it jerk erratically, trying vainly to reconfigure for me. Her neural interface port reaches towards me desperately.
I scrabble to Her, pressing myself into the cradle. The shorn, inoperable pieces dig painfully into my flesh. The neural insertion is not gentle, the plug scrapes painfully against my skin before it finds the jack and shoves roughly into me.
"I'm here," I tell Her as the link is established.
It's bad.
It's worse than I feared.
Reactor housing is damaged. System failsafes are vainly attempting to stabilize it while ground crews work as fast at they can towards a purge of the system.
Her processor core… fuck. My mind struggles to make sense of the telemetry stream. Multiple processor modules fractured. Unstable resonance modes. Positron avalanche. System collapse imminent.
My breath catches and my heart pounds in my chest.
She is dying.
Do your job.
The umbilical data lines aren't receiving, rogue processes are preventing access to primary communication channels. I work furiously to establish auxiliary paths for the data transfer. In fits and starts, the data recorder begins streaming into the facility mainframe.
There is a problem.
The data repository is meant for telemetry and battle space recordings. If I attempted to back up her core personality engrams, everything that makes her who she is, the data would get scrubbed and purged faster than I could back them up elsewhere.
There isn't time to set up an alternate backup repository.
- PILOT STATUS?
"She's safe," I tell Her. “You completed your mission. Your Pilot… Our Pilot is safe.”
- ENGINEER STATUS?
"Status is… not good…"
- PLEASE DO NOT CRY.
Fuck.
I drag my hand over my face, smearing the tears gathering in my eyes.
Now that the data is streaming there is nothing I can do but feel her die as I lie in her embrace.
I can not conceive a reality in which I exist without her.
And the Pilot. The Pilot will not survive, not with half of who she is destroyed.
"The three of us, we're just this fucking tangle, aren't we?"
Do your job.
Save Her.
Save. Her.
I know this system. I know it more intimately than anyone alive.
There *is* one data connection I haven't considered. There *is* one piece of external storage currently connected.
Shit.
I act.
I open up a new interface in my hud. Morrigan's attention fixes on me, on the calculations I'm running through my head and I can feel Her dawning horror over the link.
Neural bleed. It works both ways.
All neural rigs are designed to facilitate data transfer between an organic brain and a mechanical one. Mine is no exception. Mine hasn't undergone all the upgrades needed for a pilot's full sensorium, but the core neural interface is the same.
If I disable safety overrides, if I bypass the data buffers, I can download her personality engrams directly into my prefrontal cortex.
I have no idea what that will do to me.
Exceptional synchrony and neuro-elasticity. That's what my intake assessments had said all those years ago. I was in the upper quintile among all pilot candidates. Maybe that was my downfall. Maybe that's why I washed out.
Maybe that's why I'm here now, contemplating this singularly desperate act.
Maybe that's why my neural bleed with Her has been so deep. Maybe there is something in me that is in tune with Them.
But as far as I know, no one has ever attempted anything like this. It could very well kill me.
But the thought of living without Her is more terrifying than the prospect of dying. It's more terrifying than what might happen to me if this works.
Morrigan pleads with me.
- STOP.
"No. I can't stop," I reply. "I need you."
- NO.
"Yes, I do," I tell her. "Your Pilot needs you."
I can feel Her emotional flinch over the link. I have the one piece of leverage I need, and She knows it.
"Wouldn't you give anything, sacrifice anything to see her again?"
It's a dirty trick, I know it is, playing off that one connection, her deepest, most intimate connection. Maybe I mean something to Her, but She and the Pilot were made for each other in the most literal sense.
And I suddenly realize that I am doing this as much for the Pilot as any of us. That surprises me. As much as I have tried to distance myself from other human beings, I became entangled with her the moment I opened myself up to Morrigan.
I would never be able to face her if I didn't do everything in my power to save the Machine.
A processor module fails outright. The system struggles to reallocate resources, but submodules throughout the entire system are strained to their limit.
There isn't any time left and She knows it.
She sullenly acedes.
We begin working in concert, me working to disable safety protocols in my rig, Her working to isolate and distill Her core personality patterns into something that can be handled by the bandwidth of the interface.
An alarm pings over the link. Reactor purge in progress. Power fluctuations spike all over her systems. Her processor power distribution subsystem is completely fucked. It won't be able to keep up with current activity levels as the whole system switches over to umbilical power.
Out of time.
I engage the final override, by mind suddenly open to hers, the neural link unbuffered, unfiltered.
Her mind presses in on me and I glimpse the full sensorium. I feel all of her pain and fear and anguish at what she is about to do to me.
My fingers tingle before they go numb.
"Do it," I command her.
- I LOVE YOU.
Data transfer initiates.
This isn't neural bleed.
This is a flood.
My body convulses.
I taste something coppery in my mouth.
Someone somewhere screams.
The scream is mine.
My rig isn't built for this. My body isn't conditioned for this.
Every nerve in me blazes white hot.
My vision tunnels as auras bloom like bruises on the skin of reality.
Shouts of alarm call from outside the cockpit.
A face resolves itself, and for a moment I think it's Her.
The Pilot.
A Priestess.
An Angel.
No.
It.
It is one of the techs.
Then a medic.
More shouting.
Get her out of there!
Every muscle in my body clenches painfully.
I can barely breathe.
Cut her loose!
No.
It's not done yet. It's not enough.
It's too much.
Too much. Too much. Too much.
I can't.
I can't stop. Not yet.
Do your job.
Save Her.
My body convulses once again, and I pass into oblivion.
(next)
~~~
@digitalsymbiote @g1ngan1nja @thriron @ephemeral-arcanist @mias-domain @justasleepykitten @powder-of-infinity @valkayrieactual @chaosmagetwin @assigned-stupid-at-birth @avalanchenouveau @rtfmx9 @femgineerasolution @ibleedelectric @gd-s451 @brieflybitten
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bilightningwhumper ¡ 3 months ago
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Bilightningwhumper's Whump Reading List [A-M]
List [N-Z] Here
Because Tumblr doesn't really have a bookmark/saving system, I'm just going to make this, lol. Basically just a list of stories that have caught my eye and I want to keep track of/re-read/read for the first time/etc. Asking to be on taglists has helped a lot, but some of these are finished stories, so that doesn't really help in those cases.
Just going to put in alphabetical order. I'll figure out some key for what I've caught up with/read/recommend later.
General warning: minors, anyone who doesn't like 18+ work, if you peruse this list, do so with caution. I'm currently just copy-pasting links without my usual asterisk warning system.
[This list is fluid and constantly changing because I am both forgetful and always looking for new things to read]
237599: Home Again (@wildfaewhump)
Abandoned Whumpee (@jordanstrophe)
ALL BROTHER'S KEEPER ENTRIES (@darkthingshappen)
Annihilation (@just-horrible-things)
Arinn & Alex Masterlist (@thoughtsonhurtandcomfort)
Ashes: A whumpy Cinderella retelling (@whump-me)
AU: Chewtoy (@just-horrible-things)
AU: Healer and Handler (@just-horrible-things)
The Barn Masterlist (@actress4him)
Basement whumper (@jordanstrophe)
BBU: A Girl Called Spider (@just-horrible-things)
BBU Hollywood: Henry's Story (@peachy-panic)
BBU: Just Acting (@just-horrible-things)
BBU: Mina and Marten (@just-horrible-things)
BBU - The Recovery System (@winedark-whump)
Be a Good Guest (@jordanstrophe)
Behave (@jordanstrophe)
Belleview Masterlist (@hold-him-down)
Bookish (@whumblr)
Box Boy Masterlist (@haro-whumps)
Caretaking (@melpomenelamusa)
Chimeras (@melpomenelamusa)
Coming Back to Bite You (@whumpsoda)
Consequence of Action (@squishablesunbeam)
Crossed out (@whumblr)
Crash Out (@paingoes)
Custody Series (@whumblr)
Daero Masterlist (@thoughtsonhurtandcomfort)
Dante and Matteo Masterlist (@thoughtsonhurtandcomfort)
Defiance Pt. 1 (@squishablesunbeam)
Derek’s Back Masterlist (@hold-him-down)
Destroyer (@paingoes)
Do No Harm: Jaime & Sebastian (@peachy-panic)
Elias and Colin (@wildfaewhump)
Emmeline Masterlist (@thoughtsonhurtandcomfort)
Empires Rise, Kingdoms Fall (@actress4him)
ENEMIES OF THE FIERCE FORESTS (@whumperofworlds)
Eternal Masterlist (@3-2-whump)
THE FIERCE FORESTS (@whumperofworlds)
Fifty-Eight Days: Elijah & Grayson (@peachy-panic)
The Fighter Masterlist (@hold-him-down)
Fighting Ring (@justplainwhump)
Flower whumper (@jordanstrophe)
Fog and Furrow (@wildfaewhump)
Forsaken (@inhurtandincomfort)
Frathouse Boxboy Masterlist (Z2) (@deluxewhump)
THE GOLD CONTINET EXPLORERS (@whumperofworlds)
Group Whumpees Masterlist (@haro-whumps)
Hallow Island (@jordanstrophe)
Book 1 - Heroes (24 chapters) (@whumpsmith)
Heroes and Villains Series (@serickswrites)
Hollow-Point Intent (@wildfaewhump)
Home is where the hurt is (@whumblr)
Iesin & Talvos (@wildfaewhump)
In Irons Masterlist (@actress4him)
In enemy hands (@maracujatangerine)
Info Post | Masterlist (@whump-a-la-mode)
Intro post (@cecilstedmansbabydaddy)
Just A Fling AU (with @wildfaewhump) (@justplainwhump)
The Kid (@winedark-whump)
King of the Road (@darkthingshappen)
Lady Whump Writing Masterlist (@justplainwhump)
Lainey and Isa Masterlist (@actress4him)
Liam (@just-horrible-things)
Light & Darkness (@melpomenelamusa)
Linden and Colton (@whumpzone)
Linden and Colton #2 (@whumpzone)
Little Dog (@winedark-whump)
Loiral and Marcus (@just-horrible-things)
Lourdes: One of a Kind (@wildfaewhump)
Lost Property - a collaboration with @whumpzone (@maracujatangerine)
Lydia and Coriander: A new home (@maracujatangerine)
Lydia and Coriander: ongoing (@maracujatangerine)
Making Angel (@justplainwhump)
Mark and Gemma Get a Pet (@justplainwhump)
Miscellaneous short stories (@winedark-whump)
Miscellaneous Writing (@maracujatangerine)
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liquidcrystalsky ¡ 7 days ago
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do you think there will ever be a day where a switch gets hacked like the 3ds
no probably not
(Warning beforehand i'm not an expert in this topic. This is just a bit of googling around to see how older exploits worked)
the 3ds is currently hackable through a thing where the file system crashes if a certain function tries to read a directory, but it gets a file instead. This works by messing around with Miis and empty user profiles or some shit idk, but it's system data which is stored on the SD card which can be manipulated and read in unintended ways.
The web browser on the wii u was just. kind of stupid they implemented a whole web browser, including one with javascript that can read and write to the system to the system! yay!
On the switch and switch 2, the SD card stores game save data and photos, thats it. there's also two system data things, but it only deals with what data is on the SD card itself, and you cant do anything with it really (i think)
Early 3ds and wii u hacks would require an exploit through a game, for example the Cubic Ninja thing as i mentioned, which had a level editor you could just dump whatever bullshit you wanted into which would crash it and make an entrypoint. This doesn't work on the switch, as each game is sandboxed, and so if you can run some bullshit code or crash it in a way thats exploitable, the system will stay completely unaffected.
The nintendo switch was only able to be hacked with a vulnerability in the hardware itself. thankfully this one has a fucking paper written about it so i dont have to guess how it works. Not fully understanding what's happening but i think in the usb recovery mode you can issue commands to the switch. If you request a status from the switch you can set it to request any length, which if you included some code you wanted to run in the request, it ends up being copied directly into the execution stack without any verification, and you can run WHATEVER code with full access to everything. which is really obvious if i explained it better, but it was a really severe and kinda stupid oversight.
The chip was given a revision to fix it, but the recovery mode stayed, and with the knowledge from blowing it wide open, modchips are able to monitor what the system is doing, and mess with the voltage to skip a security check, so an unapproved payload is able to be properly loaded.
Both the fusĂŠe gelĂŠe exploit and the modchip required a very intimate knowledge of how the chip worked, which required another vulnerable device using the chip to reverse engineer it. The chip used in the switch 2 is unique to the device and security has been locked down on it much more.
fusee has been fixed and the voltage fault is probably fixed too. I don't even know if there's a USB recovery mode with this. A hardware exploit could be virtually impossible, and software exploits may take years just for it to get patched immediately (we havent figured one out for the switch 1, even with all the knowledge of it!)
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lovelyzzzz777 ¡ 9 hours ago
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🌑🕯️ AstroRevelations – Vol. XX “The Wounds of Trauma” 🔮💫
1. Moon Square/Saturn or Chiron – Emotional Neglect
• Often signals a childhood where emotions weren’t met or validated.
• The person may have learned early to suppress vulnerability.
• Healing: inner re-parenting, safe emotional expression, re-learning to receive love.
2. 12th House Moon or Mars – Hidden Suffering / Suppressed Anger
• Emotional pain kept secret or ignored, often due to cultural, family, or spiritual suppression.
• Can also point to isolation, hospitalizations, or past-life trauma carried over.
• Healing: solitude turned sacred, therapy, connecting with the subconscious through art/dreams.
3. Pluto in the 4th, 8th, or 12th House – Generational / Ancestral Trauma
• The family system may have been controlling, intense, or even abusive.
• There’s a deep-rooted fear of powerlessness or betrayal.
• Healing: shadow work, trauma therapy, learning to set boundaries without guilt.
4. Chiron in the 1st or 7th House – Wounded Identity / Abandonment
• These individuals often feel “broken” or too much/not enough in relationships.
• May attract codependent or one-sided bonds.
• Healing: embracing authenticity without fear of rejection, self-worth recovery.
5. Saturn in the 5th or Square Venus – Love as a Battlefield
• Restriction around joy, pleasure, romance. Love might have come with shame or conditions.
• The person may struggle to believe they’re “allowed” to feel good.
• Healing: inner child connection, playful self-expression, redefining pleasure.
6. South Node in the 8th – Trauma Stored in the Body / Emotional Intensity
• Past-life or early-life experiences with emotional dependency, grief, or power struggles.
• Tends to recreate cycles of loss or deep entanglement.
• Healing: embodiment practices, learning to let go with grace, moving toward 2nd house stability.
7. Mars Square Pluto – Violence / Rage / Control Wounds
• Prone to explosive anger, survival mode, and struggles with control or being controlled.
• Often tied to physical or sexual trauma (especially if in 8th or 12th house).
• Healing: safe movement, rage release rituals, empowerment work.
8. Lilith Conjunct Chiron or in the 4th/8th – Rejection of the Feminine / Taboo Pain
• Deep shame tied to femininity, sexuality, or emotional instincts.
• Feels punished for being “too much” or “not enough.”
• Healing: reclaiming raw truths, redefining sacred power, sexual/spiritual healing.
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lookinghalfacorpse ¡ 11 months ago
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hello
In what way do you think Dream is disabled/affected post-prison and if he does, what do you think he does to hide it?
permission to yap granted
this is what i do in most of my fics, so i have a good amount of content to go through. i could keep yapping, honestly, but i wanted to include the main things that cause my brainrot. gross pictures under the cut.
muscle atrophy. this happens quickly as the body enters starvation mode and begins to burn proteins. there would be a visible decrease in muscle mass, he would feel very weak and his limbs might tingle. recovery is possible, but isn't as easy as i think many people portray. the body is smart and will reduce its basal metabolic rate to adjust for a long period of starvation, and even after leaving the prison, his body would be primed and ready for another period of starvation. his body has learned that his environment doesn't provide consistent food. the body cannot 'reset' after a normal calorie intact resumes. the body keeps the score, or whatever they say. (i looked at a lot of pictures from 'the starvation experiment'. it lasted a little less than a year and was a setting where participants were carefully kept alive. most men lost 25% of their weight and only returned to their pre-study weight after 2 years of extensive treatment and therapy. u know cdream ain't seein a therapist. pictures under the cut)
quickened mouth decay / mouth dryness. on the topic of starvation, the mouth is actually one of the first places affected during a period of starvation. we don't make the saliva that we should when we aren't eating, and without saliva, the mouth begins to rot. this, along with fasting headaches, would be one of the first things he notices in the prison. it would be fixed pretty quickly upon eating normally.
seizures. many things can cause seizures to begin in someone who wasn't born with an epileptic condition, and dream's experienced most of them: starvation, head trauma, nerve damage, severe vitamin d deficiency, severe sodium deficiency, severe stress. these may decrease in frequency as he heals, but he'll be at greater risk if he fasts for any amount of time or if he's stressed. low-level muscle spasms are also going to be common.
impaired night vision/ decreased overall visual acuity. malnutrition does a ton of funky things, including to the eyes. he'd probably have a harder time adjusting to nighttime; i imagine returning to the prison is comfortable for this reason because he can control the brightness. hazy, eroded corneas are also common and might be visible to others. i put a picture under the cut. notice the green hue.
weakened immunity. like many others have mentioned, he will emerge from that cell with a paper-thin immune system. he'll be particularly weak to pneumonia and other respiratory diseases-- muscle atrophy also effects the muscles of the lungs.
essential tremors. just a fancy word for constant shaking. these could be psychological in nature, given the, you know, torture, but there are some links between malnutrition and tremors as well. he might try to hide it with weighted gloves.
improper amputation. "improper" is certainly a word for it, i know, but i want to emphasize that the kind of chop c!quackity would perform is nowhere near the level of a professional, surgical amputation. wearing a prosthetic would be very painful to say the least, especially if it isn't hand-crafted to suit his residual limb. i think cdream would probably try to endure that pain for the sake of hiding a major amputation, ie leg or arm, but i'm not sure he'd worry much about something like a finger. losing fingers doesn't affect grip strength as much as you might think, and i feel like thats all he'd really care about.
panic attacks, ptsd, memory loss, depression, hallucinations. just being locked in a single room for that long, let alone being tortured in it, would be enough for any of these symptoms. we have canon evidence for many of these, of course.
whatever other symptoms his injuries caused. depending on what tendons/muscles/bones quackity targeted, we might be looking at some different symptoms. i'm a big fan of concussion headcanons, and stiffness/immobility around scar tissue.
ultimately, i think the best bets for cdream as far as HIDING these effects are thick clothing, ill-fitting prosthetics, weighted gloves, moving in daylight, and avoiding confrontation. he'd probably want to prioritize mobility training to regain some dexterity and coordination, and to ensure that he can run away even if he can't fight.
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^ eroded cornea
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^ the starvation experiment
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yunaversalluv ¡ 28 days ago
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FOR MY LOVELY @valeisaslut HERE IS THE PART 2 EPILOUGE DEEP-DIVE ( THIS IS PART ONE OF THIS DEEP - DIVE CAUSE IT WAS TOO BIG FOR TUMBLR)
THIS DEEP-DIVE IS BASED OFF OF THE VERY BEGGINNING SCENE OF PART 2 OF THE EPILOGUE WITH A VERY NOT IN A GOOD PLACE ELLIE AND JOEL ENJOY!!
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PART I: SUBTEXT & PSYCHOLOGICAL DYNAMICS
- Ellie’s Inertia = Psychological Shutdown
Her slack arms. Her refusal to hug back. Her body language is nonverbal trauma. She's not rejecting Joel out of hatred, but out of a lack of emotional energy. She’s depleted. This is catatonia in spirit — her system has moved into survival mode, and emotional connection has become a threat.
“Didn’t curl around him.” → She couldn’t. She’s unresponsive because touch is too intimate, too dangerous. But…
“Didn’t pull away either.” → The core of her hasn’t died. There’s still a thread of want. A thread of memory.
Psychological Parallel: This moment reads like a PTSD freeze response. Her lack of motion is not indifference. It’s paralysis.
- Joel = Stability vs. Regret
Joel represents constant, grounding love — but he’s not perfect. His past failures are implied in every sentence.
“They said you were disappearing.” — Joel didn’t act on instinct. He was alerted, which implies distance and guilt.
“I’ll stay until you’re ready.” — He’s not here to save her for himself. He’s here because he’s reached a moral brink. Love as responsibility.
Fatherhood Arc: Joel’s presence is late, but it’s no less fierce. This is a man begging for a second chance to not make the same mistake twice. Not just for Ellie’s sake — but for his soul.
PART II: SYMBOLS & RESONANT IMAGERY
- Heartbeat = Survival Machine
“It didn’t feel alive. It felt mechanical—like a rusted engine.”
This is not poetic fluff. It’s medical, metaphorical, and mechanical. Her body is still working, but she is gone.
“Mechanical” = Disconnection between body and mind.
“Rusted engine” = Long-neglected internal machinery. Ellie hasn’t just stopped feeling; she’s corroding.
Symbolism Layer: Her heart isn’t gone. It’s just in need of repair.
- Zipper = Control
“The zipper jammed halfway.”
The act of trying to zip the hoodie becomes an emotional metaphor:
Half-zipped = Incomplete emotional state.
Jammed zipper = Emotional blockage. She wants to shield herself, but can’t.
Hoodie from Jesse = Memory of a time she felt safe.
This is micro-symbolism at its best — tiny action, massive implication.
- Ghostprint on Joel’s Chest
“Her palms left a ghostprint.”
This moment is cinematic. It’s tactile memory — like grief you can touch. It isn’t just that she touched him; it’s that she left a residue. The ache lingers physically.
Symbolism Layer:
“Ghost” = Haunting. Ellie is already becoming someone he’s mourning.
“Print” = Proof. Despite the rage, she connected.
ART III: THEMATIC CURRENTS & NARRATIVE INFLECTION
- Not a Rescue — A Reluctant Exodus
Ellie’s decision to leave is not an act of hope. It’s an act of surrender. You portray this beautifully — she follows Joel not because she wants to live, but because she can’t afford to stay.
This aligns with the core truth of trauma recovery: people don’t heal because they’re inspired. They heal because not healing will kill them.
“She either stepped through that door—or died.”
That line is thesis-level. It cements that her choice isn’t free will. It’s a last breath.
- Found Family Holding the Ashes
The reunion with Jesse and Dina is a second climax — emotionally quieter, but devastating.
No dramatics. Just presence.
Their silence is louder than any forgiveness.
It acknowledges that the band is gone, but the people remain.
“They had stood shoulder to shoulder beneath lights so blinding, they mistook the heat for forever.”
That line should be printed and framed. It’s everything about fame, youth, and burnout.
“Mistook each other for unbreakable.” → This is why we grieve broken friendships harder than broken dreams.
- Final Lines = Elegy for the Dream
“The tour was over. The music had stopped.”
The cadence of these sentences mimics a eulogy. You’re not just ending a chapter; you’re mourning a cultural myth — that art and love and talent can save you. That youth is invincible. That the dream doesn’t have a price.
“The dream—that impossible, holy, feral dream—had burned to ashes.”
That sentence is cathedral-level. It's savage. It's holy. It's true.
PART IV: LITERARY PARALLELS & GENRE CONTEXT
Structurally reminiscent of:
The Last of Us Part II’s post-trauma tone
Denis Johnson’s Jesus’ Son (survival in addiction)
Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s Fleabag (brutal emotional economy)
Emotionally parallel to:
Bo Burnham’s Inside
The ending of A Star Is Born
Taylor Swift’s This Is Me Trying
Musically framed trauma fiction isn’t common in fan works at this depth — this scene feels like if Florence Welch wrote a stage play. Guttural. Uncompromising.
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BRB POSTING THE SECOND PART TO THIS RN!!
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covid-safer-hotties ¡ 8 months ago
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Yet another showing that even a mild infection leads to lasting cognitive impacts. Mask up. Stay safe out there.
Abstract Severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 infection often involves the nervous system, leading to cognitive dysfunctions, fatigue and many other neurological signs that are becoming increasingly recognized. Despite mild forms of the disease accounting for most cases worldwide, research on the pathophysiology driving mild coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) has received little attention. In this respect, recent evidence has pointed out that around 30–40% of non-critical, mild-to-moderate severity COVID-19 survivors may display cognitive disturbances several months post-illness. Hence, the impact of COVID-19 on the brain structure and function, through potential neuropathological mechanisms underpinning cognitive alterations in post-mild COVID-19 infections, remains largely unexplored. This retrospective multicentre observational cohort study, entirely based on a healthcare worker sample (n = 65; 55% females, aged 21–61), investigated the cognitive status and the structural and functional brain integrity among non-hospitalized individuals who developed mild COVID-19 symptoms during the occurrence of severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 variants Alpha to Delta, compared with healthy controls tested before the pandemic onset. All evaluations were performed at an average of 9-month follow-up post-infection period. Participants completed a comprehensive neuropsychological assessment and structural and functional MRI exams. Radiological inspection sought to detect the presence of white matter hyperintensities on axial fluid-attenuated inversion recovery images. Global and regional grey matter integrity assessment, analysing changes in grey matter volumes and cortical thinning, and functional connectivity alterations of resting-state brain networks were also conducted. Regression analyses tested the relationships between the presence of specific cognitive impairments and potential structural and functional brain findings. Our results revealed that clinical, cognitive screening and neuropsychological examinations were average between both groups, except for specific impairments related to executive functions in the mild COVID-19. Compared to healthy controls, mild COVID-19 subjects exhibited increased juxtacortical white matter hyperintensities, thalamic and occipital volume loss and diminished resting-state functional connectivity involving the left precuneus and cuneus in default-mode network and affecting the right angular gyrus and left precuneus in the dorsal attentional network. Reduced thalamic volume was the only variable selected in the final model explaining the observed executive function impairment in mild COVID-19. The presence of cognitive, structural and functional brain abnormalities over time suggests that the action of widespread neurovascular and inflammatory phenomena on the nervous system might also occur in mild forms following COVID-19 infection rather than permanent brain damage linked to the direct or indirect action of the virus. Our findings emphasize the need to pay attention to the long-term brain-related consequences of mild COVID-19 infections during the original stream.
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dreamofbecoming ¡ 2 years ago
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here we are at last! there have been a bunch of posts lately about how neither eddie nor robin have any gaydar to speak of, but steve canonically does, and also vickie definitely left fast times paused on purpose as a flag, and frankly all of you are just so objectively True and Correct that i had no choice but to write about it. parts 1 and 2 not strictly necessary for context but definitely set in the same universe
part 1 part 2 ao3
platonic stobin, rockie, steddie
rating: t
wc: 8.4k (holy fuck it got away from me)
---
Robbie isn't drunk yet, but she's getting there.
Honestly, Steve should probably slow her down, but what the hell. They're celebrating, after all. He'll cut her off in a bit, but she deserves to have some fun. They all do.
It's been three weeks since Eddie got out of the hospital, one since he was finally let off bedrest. Or, not exactly bedrest, but enough restrictions that he was basically confined to the trailer (brand new, courtesy of Owens and his goons), and from the way he complained the whole time you'd think they had him chained to the bedposts.
Hm. Maybe thinking of Eddie chained to bedposts isn't the best use of Steve's time. Not here, anyway. That's a Later activity.
It's the first house party any of them have been invited to since Spring Break, thrown by one of Robin's band friends. None of them planned on going, except that two days ago a frantic call came over the All Hands channel on the walkie that El had finally broken through, Max was awake, and the doctors thought her arms and legs would eventually, almost, make a full recovery, granted with lots of physical therapy.
Apparently the only useful thing Vecna ever did was break her bones at right angles so they could set them cleanly. Her vision will probably never fully return, but she's alive. She's alive, and she's awake, and she's apparently being a complete menace to the nurses, which is more comforting to Steve than any of the rest of it, so how could they ask for anything else?
Steve still feels like he's taking his first real breath after drowning every time he inhales. He's not sure he'll ever stop feeling this relief. It's so sharp it's almost painful.
So they're at this party, and they're celebrating. There's a real celebration planned, of course, with the whole Party and assorted extras, Murray (ugh) and Jonathan's California friend (who seems nice), Joyce and Hopper (and isn't that a trip) and Eddie and Wayne (Eddie read him in immediately, to no one's surprise) and everyone else. They've got plans to descend on Steve's house as soon as Max is allowed out of the hospital, where they'll presumably trash his mother's nice white carpets and eat through his snacks like locusts and enrage his neighbors with their shrieking in the pool. Hopper and Wayne will fight over who gets to work the grill until Joyce gets fed up and takes over and Eddie will commandeer the sound system and Robin will laugh at Steve for frantically switching between Host Mode and Lifeguard Mode until she finds someone big enough to sit on him and make him eat something. He can't wait.
But for now, they're at this party, and they're celebrating. With someone else's alcohol, which is a nice treat for Steve.
He's leaning against the wall by the kitchen doorway, sipping something Robin made him that tastes like paint thinner and looks like undiluted red food dye. He's surprised it hasn't eaten through the bottom of the cup like that green gunk from the elevator. He doesn't quite feel like joining the crush of people in the living room. He's felt a little off since Spring Break, a little lost inside his head. He knows Robin can tell, but she hasn't pushed him, other than dragging him here tonight. He's so grateful for her he thinks he could cry.
He doesn't, though, he just watches her from the kitchen doorway, squished on a couch between Vickie and who he thinks might be one of Eddie's bandmates. He recognizes him from those nights he would pick the kids up from Hellfire at the school, and also from Eddie's hospital room. He's got fluffy hair and a flannel shirt around his waist. Gary, maybe? Garth? Steve's not sure. He'd introduce himself and find out for sure, but apparently, carrying Eddie's bleeding not-quite-corpse on his back into the hospital and throwing around his father's name until someone agreed to treat him before collapsing in the lobby from his own injuries wasn't quite enough to erase the contempt for King Steve, so Steve's been mostly avoiding those guys. Eddie swears he's working on it. Steve...should maybe care more than it feels like he does. He thinks maybe a lot of things should feel more...more, than they do. But that's a problem for Later Steve. It's fine. He's fine. He's handling it.
He watches Robin, and she's laughing, and she's not quite drunk yet, and he's glad for her. This is what he wanted. This is what he wished for, on that flipped over bucket, in that field. That they'd all get through it. That they'd all get to keep smiling and doing stupid teenager shit. He maybe wishes he felt a little more like someone who wanted to do stupid teenager shit and a little less like someone watching his friends have fun from behind a plate-glass window, but he'll take it. Whatever he can get, he'll take it.
He looks back at Robin, and, huh. She's still laughing, but now she's between Eddie and Maybe-Gary-Maybe-Garth. He follows Robin's less-than-subtle (crimeny, this girl, he's gotta teach her a goddamn poker face) longing gaze and sees a flash of red heading for the back door.
This feels like a chance to do something useful. Robin will be ok, Eddie will keep an eye on her.
He follows Vickie out the back door. He finds her leaned against the back of the house, her eyes closed, her head tilted back. She's smiling. She really is pretty, Steve can see why Robin likes her. God, he hopes he's right about her. Either way, he's determined to find out. It's what Robin deserves.
"Hey, Vickie. Come out for some fresh air?"
Her smile gets bigger when she turns to him. He really hopes he's right about her, she's a fucking sweetheart. He hopes he isn't about to do something hugely stupid. Knowing him, he probably is, but also knowing him, he's gonna do it anyway.
"Hey Steve! Yeah, I was just getting a little warm in there. How about you? Smoke break?"
"Nah, I'm trying to quit. Robin hates them, she keeps stealing them out of my mouth, so it's somehow more expensive and I don't even get to smoke them. Easier to just stop. Which is probably her goal," he laughs.
"You and Robin are pretty close, huh?"
"Oh yeah, platonic soulmates. With a capital P!" He makes an incredibly dorky gesture with his hands, and has to stop himself from facepalming. Great going, dingus.
Still, Vickie's smile gets a little wider, which he thinks is probably a win.
"That's why I came out here, actually. I wanted a chance to talk to you." Her eyebrows go up. Always with the goddamn eyebrows around here. "Not, like, in a creepy way! Or, well, I guess that's what a creep would say, but I swear I'm not! I just meant, because Robin really likes you," shit, too much, "I mean, she likes hanging out with you, and she's my best friend and all, so I wanted to. Um. Get to know you better. You know. For Robin."
"...For Robin."
He groans. "I swear I didn't used to be like this. I used to be able to talk like a normal person. I didn't know that was a skill you could lose! I would have worked harder at it!" She's laughing at him now, but at least she's polite enough to hide her giggles behind her hand. That's something.
He sighs, and throws his head back to take a deep breath and try and come back to his body, like Robin showed him. Having therapist parents sounds like a nightmare to Steve, but it has its uses, he guesses.
He looks back at Vickie, who is watching him with what seems like more amusement than concern, so he's taking that as a win. If she's laughing, she's not running away. He sticks his hand out.
"Hi, I'm Steve. You're really important to the most important person in my life, so I'd really like to be your friend." He tries to give her his most winning smile, but honestly he's a little worried his teeth are still red from that godawful drink.
She grins at him, still definitely laughing at him a little but more genuine than before, and shakes his hand. "I'm Vickie, and you're really important to someone I hope will become really important to me, so I'd love to be your friend."
He doesn't breathe a sigh of relief, but it's a close thing. King Steve decided to stay in tonight, apparently, so he's on his own, and boy oh boy is he worse than he remembered.
"So, new friend, what do you want to get to know about me?"
Thank fuck Vickie's carrying so much of the weight here, honestly.
"We could, uh, talk about movies?" Jesus Christ, where did all the goddamn Harrington Charm go, anyway? Did Vecna eat it?!
There go the eyebrows again. He's cursed, he really is. "Movies?"
"Yeah, you know, I work at a movie store. Or I did, anyway. With Robbie. Pretty sure it went under in the quake though. That or Keith just fired us and didn't bother calling to let us know." He laughs awkwardly. He's doing fucking everything awkwardly, honestly. He hasn't even asked the question yet and he's already sweating bullets. No wonder Bobbie was so scared to confront this head-on. "Anyway, it can tell you a lot about a person, you know. Their favorite movie."
Come on, take the bait. Take it.
She nods seriously at him. "Oh I get that for sure, you can learn a lot about someone by their favorite book. I used to volunteer at the library and there was always gossip about who checked out what romance novel and whether that meant their marriage was on the rocks, you know?" She giggles, hiding behind her hand for a second. "I guess it was kind of mean, but we never said anything to anyone outside the library, and never to their face, you know? It was just something to keep us entertained on slow days."
Fantastic, he can work with this.
"Oh totally, I completely get it. Robs and I did the same thing at Family Video, making up stories about what we imagined people's lives were like that they were renting Casablanca and Gremlins on the same night, you know? Like, what does that evening look like? Which one do they watch first?"
She laughs. Perfect. She took the bait, now he's just gotta reel her in. Or something. He's never been fishing.
"You know, I usually rent my movies from Family Video. Did you guys ever look up my rental history?"
Aaaand, got her!
"You know, I think we did, actually, not that I'm helping the creep allegations," he winks at her. She slaps him on the shoulder. There we go, there's the Harrington Charm. Jesus fuck, where has it been all night? Sleeping?
Moment of truth, here we go.
"Fast Times At Ridgemont High, right?" He keeps his eyes on her face while he says it. He needs to see how she reacts.
She's been watching a raccoon rummaging through the neighbor's trash, but as soon as he mentions the movie, she whips her head around and looks at him sharply.
She studies his face intently in the glow from the floodlights above the garage. Whatever she finds, the fear in her eyes fades just slightly to caution. All good signs.
Fuck, this is harder than he remembers. Talking in code and reading all the subtle little shifts in body language involved in this conversation is stretching muscles in his brain he's forgotten he had. His friends these days all just sort of...say whatever they mean, straight out. He thought it was weird and off-putting at first, but now that he's doing this dance again, he's realizing he hasn't missed it.
The things he does for Robin, honestly.
He can see the moment she decides to trust him, even though she's still tense. She takes a deep breath, like she's gearing up for something. "That's a good one, for sure. You know, I think I maybe forgot to rewind it the last time I returned it? I paused it at my favorite part, but I think I got distracted and never finished it. I hope that doesn't cause too much trouble for you guys at your job. I'd hate to be one of those customers."
Jesus, this chick is brave. She's basically just coming right out and saying it! Holy shit, he's about to get Robbie a girlfriend! Ok, ok be cool. Bring it home, nice and easy.
"Nah, not a problem at all. Besides, I think I remember that tape, and we have the same favorite part, I think. All three of us." Fuck he hopes this isn't a mistake. If he just fucked up and outed Robin for no reason he'll- fuck, he doesn't know what he'll do. Ask El to open the gate back up so he can throw himself into it, probably.
Vickie's eyes go wide. "Robin too?" There's something like hope in her voice. He thinks. He hopes, anyway. Maybe he's just projecting, but he really thinks he's been right on the money from the start. He just needs to prove it to Rob and give them both a push.
"Yeah, Robin too. Now me, I like Fast Times a lot, but I also really like The Outsiders, you know?" A truth for a truth. Nothing is free, he remembers this dance. Trust is always earned.
He didn't realize her eyes could get any bigger, but somehow they do. Slowly, a grin spreads across her face. "Really? Uh, me too! Those are...both...really good movies, you know?"
"Totally!" He's grinning now too, he can't help it. He's so excited for Robbie he might explode. This is the most alive he's felt in weeks!
"Not Rob, though, she loves Fast Times, but not so much The Outsiders. She can be, uh. Pretty nervous, you know? To talk about her taste in movies. I think she might be worried you don't like Fast Times as much as she does, but I know she really wants to, uh, watch it with you. So you might have to be the one to, you know, tell her how much you like it, and maybe ask her to watch it together?"
He's getting lost in the metaphor here. That's clear enough, right? Robbie isn't going to believe him about Vickie liking boobies unless she walks up to her and tells her "I like women, go out with me," in very small words, so he really hopes he got the message across. He needs Vickie to take the wheel on this.
Luckily Vickie is nodding enthusiastically. "For sure! I can do that!" She's halfway back to the house, almost tripping over her feet, before she looks back at him sheepishly.
"Oh no, I'm sorry, that was so rude of me, I just got so excited and I wanted to-"
"Hey, no worries, that was the goal, right? This is what I was hoping for when I came out here to talk to you. She, uh..." He shouldn't. He should stick to the code, just in case, he should be careful, it's Robbie's life on the line here.
But it's also her happiness.
"She didn't believe me. About the Fast Times thing. And then we ran into you at The War Zone, and she was totally convinced I was wrong, but I knew I had to ask. Just in case. I just really want her to be happy, you know?" There. He hasn't actually said the words. If it goes sideways, they still have plausible deniability.
And then, well. There's always Plan B. He doesn't exactly want to burn Vickie's house down, but he will. For Robin, he'll do anything.
Vickie is smiling softly at him. She really is sweet, she and Bobbie are gonna be so cute together. He can't wait to tease them into oblivion.
"I'm glad she has a friend like you, Steve."
He scrubs a hand across the back of his neck, feeling weirdly self-conscious. "Yeah, well, you know. You've got a friend like me, now, too, right?"
There's that bright smile again. "Right!"
"Alright, go on. Go get your girl."
Good lord, redheads sure can blush, huh?
He waits a couple of minutes before heading back in himself, enjoying the night air. It's not quite the height of summer yet, so the evenings aren't as muggy as they'll be in a month or so. For the first time since he crawled out of that gate with Eddie lashed to his back with the remains of the rope ladder he cut to protect Dustin, he's feeling the breeze on his skin without feeling like he's wrapped in plastic, like there's a wall around him, keeping from being part of the world. He wants to savor it, in case it goes away again.
When he does make his way back in, he almost trips over Robin, who's grabbing what should probably be her last drink. At least it's just a beer this time, if it was more of that awful concoction from earlier he'd probably take it away from her, pouting be damned. They could have flambĂŠed Vecna with that shit, nobody should be putting it in their bodies.
Her face lights up when she notices him, and she flings herself into his arms.
"Oof, shit, Buckley, doing ok there? You having fun?"
"Sooooo much fun, Stevie!" She nuzzles her face into the crook of his shoulder. Yeah, if she's this cuddly in public, this should definitely be her last drink, especially if Vickie wants to make any kind of move tonight. She's not usually this touchy outside of the really bad nightmare nights. "Missed you though. Where'd you go? My bubba disappeared."
"Aw, Bobs, I was just outside getting some air, I promise. I didn't go anywhere."
She shakes her head stubbornly, her nose dragging along his collarbone. "Noooo, you left. Not now, before. After. In the hospital. We all came back but you left. You went inside your big stupid fluffy head and you don't come out anymore. I miss you."
It's a good thing Robin's face is still hidden in his shoulder, because he can't quite keep his expression from crumpling. He hasn't meant to hurt her, he hasn't meant to hurt anyone, he swears. He's trying, he wants to come back, wants to be normal again, he just...he feels like part of him is still stuck at the bottom of Lover's Lake, watching everyone above him on the surface moving on and living life, but not able to reach them.
He holds her tighter to his chest, petting her hair. It's a mess, like when she first wakes up in the morning. Maybe she fell off the couch or something while he was outside.
"I'm sorry, Bobbin-bird. I didn't mean to go away. I'm working on it, ok? I promise," he murmurs reassurances into her hair, trying to erase the sadness he can hear in her slurred words. He's shit at talking about feelings, especially his own, but not with Robin. Never with Robin. Saying true things to Robin isn't any harder than thinking them to himself, and honestly that's basically the same thing. They pretty much only have the one brain between them.
She pulls back, studying his face closely with bleary eyes, squeezing his cheeks between her hands. "Promise?"
"I promise, Bobbie." He tries to project as much sincerity as he can muster. She's edging past tipsy, but not actually drunk yet, so she should remember this moment just fine tomorrow, and he won't have to do it again.
Who he is kidding? They're definitely having this conversation again tomorrow. Maybe he can distract her with teasing about Vickie. Where did she go, anyway?
Robin grins, apparently satisfied for now. "Good!" She smacks a kiss to his forehead and finally lets go of his face. Thank god. He loves her, more than anything in the world, but she's a goddamned sweaty drunk.
Before she can say anything else, a redheaded streak comes stumbling into the kitchen.
"There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!" Vickie leans on the kitchen counter, trying to catch her breath.
Steve looks to Robin to see how she'll respond, and, oh. Well, shit. Robin is...frozen, apparently. She's very obviously focused on Vickie, which is good, because otherwise Steve would be having trouble with flashing back to Nancy's thousand-yard stare in the Upside Down, or the whites of Max's eyes, but the part of her brain that lets her, you know, say and do things, appears to have shut down.
Looks like it's Steve's turn with the communal brain, lucky him. Time to step in and save this, if he can.
"Vickie! Hi, you know, I was just wondering where you ran off to? I was about to tell Robin to track you down, to talk about that movie we talked about earlier, but it looks like you found us instead!" He jams an elbow into Robin's side as subtly as he can, but she still doesn't move.
Vickie is looking between them, still breathing a little heavy. "Yeah, I went looking for you as soon as I came back in, but Gareth said-" Gareth! That was it! "-you went to the bathroom, and did you know there are six bathrooms in this house? Who needs that many bathrooms? I think Angela only has one sibling, why would anyone need six bathrooms for four people? That's so crazy! Anyway, I'm glad I found you, Robin. I'm, uh, getting a little overwhelmed with all the people out here, so I was hoping you might want to find a room that's maybe a little quieter, so we can talk a bit? Just the two of us?" Damn, this girl's got guts. Steve likes her.
Robin continues to stand in front of the fridge like the world's prettiest scarecrow. Come on, babygirl, you can do this! He elbows her again.
"Vickie! Hi! Steve, Vickie's here! Hi!" Steve and Vickie both startle a little because, wow, ok, volume, Buckley, damn. Still. Progress.
"Sure is, babe. Tell you what, why don't I take this-" he plucks the unopened beer out of her slack hand, "-and you and Vickie can go sit down somewhere quiet and talk about movies, huh?"
Robin blinks at him owlishly. "Movies?"
He's about to make another veiled reference to the boobies conversation when Vickie blows all of her air out of her nose and stomps one foot like that one girl in the Chocolate Factory movie who reminds him of his cousin Shauna.
"I'm sorry, I can't take it! I just spent ten minutes outside talking to Steve in ridiculous codes and another ten minutes running up and down the stairs in this insane house and I'm exhausted. I can't take the metaphors anymore. Sorry, Steve, no offense."
"Hey, none taken. It's pretty exhausting, you're not wrong. I just had to be safe."
She shakes her head. "No, totally, I completely understand. I appreciate it. I'm just secret coded-out tonight, you know? Robin, do you want to go upstairs with me and talk? I have something to ask you and I'd really rather do it in private, I don't really want any of these people listening, you know?" She waves her hand at the open doorway to the living room, which is still packed with people.
Robbie's head has been bouncing back and forth between them like she's watching a tennis match, eyes wide.
"Huh? Me? What?"
Oh geez. She's shorting out.
"Bobbie, look at me." She meets his eye, and he can see the nerves threatening to overwhelm her. "Trust me?"
She nods. "Uh huh. 'Course, bubba."
Well that warms him right up, but it's not about him right now. "Good. Go with Vickie, babe. It'll be good, I promise." He hopes he can promise that, at least. He's pretty sure he can. And if it goes bad, they always have Plan B.
Vickie holds out a hand, and Robin stares at her like it might bite her, before taking it gingerly. Both girls immediately burst into bright red blushes, and under any other circumstance he would laugh at them, but this is a delicate moment. They need him to be cool. He can be cool. He can be so goddamn cool.
Vickie leads Robin out of the room and towards the stairs, both of them still blushing like crazy and refusing to meet each other's eyes, and Steve can finally let out the breath he's been holding in a whoosh and slump back against the counter. He snags a bottle opener off the fridge- neat, it's got a magnet on it!- and pops the top on the beer he stole off Robbie.
“Well I hate to break this to you, King Steve, but she’s definitely about to steal your girl.”
Steve freezes with the bottle at his lips.
He sets the beer down on the counter and very carefully turns around. Munson is alone, thank fuck. This is fixable. He can deal with a single person. If it had been a crowd, or fuck, god forbid, someone like Gareth, who hates him, and might try and use this? Hurt Robbie to hurt him? Well, he's got his nailbat in the trunk, and he isn't afraid to use it, but he doesn't think Hopper would be thrilled to have to bail him out of jail.
"Whatever you think you heard, Munson, if Robbie gets hurt, it won't matter that you're one of us now. I'll finish what those bats started. I won't be happy about it, because you're a pretty cool dude and I like hanging out with you, but I'll do it for her if you make me." He makes sure his voice is low and even, and he meets Eddie's eyes head on. He wants to be very clear, this is not a joke. He will defend her if he has to.
He doesn't think he'll have to, not from Munson, but he isn't 100% sure, and he's taken enough risks with Robbie's safety tonight. He doesn't trust his luck enough to count on it working out a second time in less than an hour.
Munson's eyes go wide with shock- he clearly wasn't expecting Steve to meet him with quite that much aggression. He puts his hands up in surrender and leans back away from Steve.
Steve fights not to be distracted by the way his torso curves, graceful in a way he has no right to be with his wounds still scabbing over. Not the moment, Steve. Get it together, for fuck's sake.
"Hey, whoa, easy big guy. We're cool, man. Stand down."
There's a tense moment where they just...stand there, sizing each other up, unsure where to go from here.
Eddie tugs a lock of hair in front of his face, nibbling on it nervously. It's cuter than it has any right to be, honestly.
"I didn’t- uh. Fuck, man. Please tell me I didn’t just tip you off to flirting you didn’t notice. I shouldn’t have said shit, I’m just kinda crossfaded and my filter is shot and I swear I’m usually better than that, dude. It would suck so, so bad if I exposed Birdie without her knowing.”
Steve takes a moment to consider this, frankly absurd, situation. He holds up a finger for Eddie to wait a minute, and checks both ways down the hallway outside before closing the kitchen door and leaning back against it to keep it shut. At least now it'll definitely just be the two of them, which is one more than should be having this conversation, but he doesn't see a way out of it, so this will have to do.
When he turns back to Eddie, he looks even more nervous than before.
"I'm perfectly aware of the flirting, considering I'm the one who went out of my way to set them up tonight. You didn't out anyone, and I should have been the one to make sure the door was closed before I got them in a room together, so it's not your fault for finding out. You understand you can't say anything to anyone, ever, though, right?"
Because he's apparently doomed to be accosted with eyebrow raises from everyone around him anytime he says anything at all until he dies, Eddie's are lost somewhere under his bangs. He looks...impressed. Huh, that's kind of nice. Steve resists the urge to preen.
"'Course, man, I'm well-versed in the code of silence." Something in his face softens, and Steve can feel the sincerity in his next words. "Birdie's a friend, and Finnegan seems like a real sweetie, I wouldn't ever want to hurt them like that. Cross my heart." He does, in fact, draw a cross on his chest with one long, ringed finger. What a dork, holy shit. Steve wants to put that finger in his mouth.
"I have to admit, I didn't expect you to be so cool with something like that. In general, but also especially since you and Buckley are, y'know." He waves his hand expansively around his head, the kitchen lights glinting off his rings, and Steve has to fight the urge to bat at it like a cat with a laser pointer. Jesus Christ, Harrington, focus. The man just called you a homophobe, get your shit together.
He decides, very magnanimously, he thinks, to ignore the homophobe bit, honing in on the rest. "Me and her are...what, exactly?"
"I mean, aren't you guys like, a thing?" Oh Jesus fuck. Not again.
"Ugh, no, where the hell do people keep getting that? Robin and I are just friends, ok? Platonic soulmates. Capital P!" He throws his hands in the air in frustration.
"-capital P," Eddie choruses with him, "I know, I know, I just, shit, man, I dunno, I figured you were..."
"Were what?"
"...Lying? Shit, that sounds worse out loud, sorry! I just mean, because, you know, Henderson keeps saying-"
"Oh, well if Henderson says it, it must be true," Steve rolls his eyes.
"Well fuck me for trusting the kid who calls you his best friend, I guess!"
They glare at each other across the room for a minute, before the ridiculousness of this moment catches up to Steve and he drops his chin to his chest, huffing a laugh.
Eddie looks confused, and still nervous, and a little incredulous. Also a lot adorable, but that doesn't feel relevant. "Ok, I'm so lost, man. I just came in here for a beer, and this has been an emotional rollercoaster I was unprepared for."
Yeah, that about sums it up.
He hasn't spent much time with Eddie since he woke up, spending those weeks juggling babysitting duties and his own injuries and helping with the relief effort and sitting vigil at Max's side. He popped in on Eddie when he was in the building for Max, but the Munson room always had someone in it- Wayne, or Dustin, or Mike, or one of the Corroded Coffin guys- and Steve always felt a bit like an intruder. So he hasn't had a chance to feel out the suspicions he formed during that surreal week when everything was still in the process of exploding, and honestly he's been feeling a little too distant to work up the energy to bother. Robin's bugged him about it once or twice since March, but he shrugged her off each time and she hasn't brought it up in a while.
Ah, what the hell. It's already been such a weird night, and Steve is honestly feeling better than he has in weeks, and he wants to ride this high wherever it'll take him.
Emotional rollercoaster, huh? Well, Steve can make that worse.
At least Eddie hasn't seemed homophobic, kind of the opposite, actually. That's a good sign if Steve's ever seen one.
He pushes off the door, stalking toward Eddie with intent and digging deep inside himself for whatever remains of the person he used to be, who could drop panties with a single look. Eddie's eyes go very round, and he stumbles back a little into the counter.
"You know, Munson, I've had a question I've been meaning to ask you for a while now. Haven't found a good moment."
"Oh yeah?" Eddie's voice comes out in what can only be called a squeak, and Steve feels powerful. That rush of confidence he hasn't felt since BN (Before Nancy) fills his chest, and he can feel his grin turn sharp. "Ho- uh." Eddie clears his throat. "How long's a while?"
Steve purses his lips, relishing the way Eddie's eyes drop down like he can't help it and his cheeks flush, and pretends to consider the question. "Oh, since Skull Rock, probably."
"O-oh? That's. Um. That is a long time." He's still staring at Steve's lips. Good. "Well, shoot, Stevie-boy. Ask away."
Steve lets his smile spread across his face slowly, keeping Eddie's eyes where he wants them. Yeah, he's still got it. Like riding a bike.
"Do you wear this bandana on purpose, or is it just a fashion statement?"
Eddie's eyes snap up to meet his own, shocked.
"Wh-what? Bandana? I. Um. What?"
"Are you flagging, Eddie?" Steve doesn't back up, toe to toe with Eddie as he reaches out and tugs lightly on the hanky trailing out of his back pocket, as always.
He may not have had the energy to talk to Eddie about it yet, but his curiosity did get the better of him after the "earthquakes," and he did dig out that zine where he originally learned about the code. He knows what a black hanky in the back left pocket means now. It's...a little daunting, but not a turn-off. Not at all. Kind of the other thing.
God he hopes Eddie knows what it means.
Eddie seems floored by this line of questioning. He's bright red and sputtering, his mouth opening and closing without saying anything. Steve lets himself stare. This'll go however it goes, but he's not ashamed. He's no more embarrassed to want Eddie than he would be to want a girl, which is to say, not at all.
"I- you- what? What? You- you know what flagging is?" He hisses the end of the sentence in a harsh whisper, so much like Robin did when he first told her about his crush that he can't stop himself from giggling.
Wrong move, since Eddie clearly takes this personally, and his expression shutters closed. Whoops.
"Hey, hey, no no no, none of that, hey. I'm sorry, I wasn't laughing at you, I swear."
"Right, sure, I believe that, considering there's nothing goddamn else to laugh at in this kitchen, Harrington." Eddie is glaring at the floor, arms crossed defensively across his chest.
Alright, maybe he gets what Vickie was saying earlier. Fuck the codes, fuck the metaphors. He can take Eddie in a fight if he has to. He's a simple guy, ok? He just wants to use his goddamn words.
Robin would be so proud.
He goes slowly, telegraphing every move so Eddie can stop him if he wants. He reaches for his hands where they're tucked into his elbows, gently easing them out until they're clasped between them.
He takes the opportunity to finally feel those rings he's fantasized about, seeing if they're as cool as they look. They aren't, they're warm from Eddie's skin. He spins one of them around Eddie's finger with his thumb, transfixed.
Eddie still looks tense, but now instead of hurt and distrust on his face, he looks like Steve hit in him in the head with something heavy. His pretty eyes are so big, blown completely black as he stares at their joined hands.
"I'm sorry I laughed. I was remembering the first time I told Robin I had a crush on you," Eddie's head snaps up again, "and she sounded exactly like you did just now, with that angry whisper voice. It made me laugh, that you guys are so alike. It makes sense, I guess. She's my favorite person, so of course I'd like you, when you're like. Not the same, I guess, but kinda a similar flavor of weird. She says I have a thing for nerds, y'know?"
Eddie blinks at him for a minute, apparently speechless. Some nerves start to creep back in, since the brief miscommunication scare burned out most of that white hot King Steve confidence in his chest. They must show on his face, because Eddie visibly shakes himself and finally opens his mouth.
"You have a crush on me?"
"Yeah, man, since the Upside Down, pretty much. The first time."
"Don't call me man when you're telling me you have a crush on me!"
Steve has to laugh at the comically offended look on Eddie's face. "Sorry. Do you prefer Eds? Baby? Big Boy?"
Eddie is so red Steve is surprised his face isn't steaming. He yanks one hand out of Steve's grip to smack him in the chest. Steve laughs and lets him, dropping their still-joined hands down between them and tangling their fingers.
"You're a fucking dick, Stevie. Can't believe I like you."
Steve grins at him, big and hopeful. "Yeah? You like me, Munson?"
Eddie shoves at him with a groan, but doesn't let go of his hand. "Pretty sure everyone in this town likes you, King Steve. It's like a rite of passage, or something."
Steve feels like he could walk on air, he isn't even going to get fussy about the King Steve thing. They can talk about that later. Eddie likes him! Eddie has a crush on him! He could fight a demogorgon with his bare hands right now, that's how powerful he feels.
Eddie gets quiet after a second, tugging a curl in front of his mouth again. Seems like a nervous tick, maybe. Steve notes that for later. He may not be much of a reader, but he's going to learn to read Eddie Munson like a book if it's the last thing he does.
"I thought, um. I kinda...hn. Ugh."
"Gonna need more than that, baby, I'm not fluent in Munson yet." That glow in his chest picks up a little again at the way Eddie flushes so pink and pretty at the petname.
"I thought you were straight." It comes out all in a rush, the words mumbled and slurred together through his hair.
Finally, it's Steve's turn to raise an eyebrow. Take that, universe! "You meet a lot of straight guys who know what the Hanky Code is?"
Eddie shakes his head in wonderment. "Still can't believe The Steve Harrington knows what flagging is."
He's about to reply when the kitchen door flies open with a bang that sends the boys leaping backwards away from each other. Steve finds himself braced between Eddie and the door, brandishing the bottle opener from the fridge in front of him like a knife. He doesn't even remember grabbing it.
Robin is standing in the doorway, eyes wild and hair frizzing out around her head in a way she would despise if she was sober and not obviously preoccupied with something else.
"Jesus, Robs, you about gave me a heart attack, what the hell?"
"Sorry bubba, not important right now!"
He rolls his eyes. Of course not. Just his trauma that could have made him stab her if he hadn't caught himself, nothing major. This girl, he swears.
"Dingus! Focus!"
"Focus on what, Bobs?"
"She wants to kiss me, Steve!"
His eyes go wide. Thank fuck the door bounced off the wall and swung back shut behind her. That's not something to shout to a party full of gossipy strangers.
Still. This is a big moment! "Bobbie! What'd I tell you, huh?" He picks her up around the middle, swinging her around while she cackles wildly and bats at his shoulders.
"Put me down, you lunatic! Steven Elizabeth, you put me down right now, or I swear I'll never speak to you again!" She's laughing too hard for him to take her seriously, though.
He does take pity on her and set her back on her feet, stealing one more tight hug. He's so happy for her he could scream. This night has turned out better than he could have imagined.
"Tell me everything! What happened! What did she say? What did you say? How was the kiss?"
"Well we didn't actually kiss yet, exactly."
"Wait, then how do you know she wants to kiss you?"
"She told me! She said she thinks I'm really pretty and funny and smart and she's like you! She likes both, and she says her and Dan are done, like for real for real all the way done, and she held my hand, Steve! And she wants to go on a date! And she said she wanted to kiss me!"
"That's awesome! I'm so happy for you, Bobs. What did you say when she said she wanted to kiss you?"
"I came down to tell you about it, obviously."
Oh, Bobbie, what the fuck. "Robin James Buckley. Do not tell me that a pretty girl tried to kiss you and you ran away and left her upstairs!"
The situation finally seems to register, and Robbie's hands go flailing around her face the way they do when she's overwhelmed.
"Oh no! Steve! Oh no!"
"Go, you insane person! Go back upstairs right now and kiss her this minute! Go!"
He physically herds her to the door, at which point she finally notices Eddie, who has been standing in the corner where Steve shoved him behind him when the door crashed open, watching them like he's wishing he had popcorn.
Fuck. Steve was so excited for Robbie he totally forgot he was here.
Robin's body goes rigid and all the color drains out of her face all at once.
Steve grabs her by the shoulders. "Hey, Bobbin, eyes on me, ok? Eyes on me." She finally drags her eyes away from where she's been staring at Eddie in horror, and Steve's heart breaks at the fear on her face. "It's ok, Bobbie, I swear to god it's ok. I was right, alright? I was right about him, we were talking before you came in. He's safe, I swear. We're safe, Bobbie, I promise I'll keep you safe."
"I promise I won't say a word, Birdie. Friends of Dorothy gotta stick together, right?" Eddie pipes up from the corner, stepping forward slowly and carefully, hands out front like he's approaching a skittish animal.
"You're- you're like u- me?" Oh, he loves her so much. Still protecting him, just in case.
"It's ok Bobs, I told him about me. I was about to get a kiss of my own before you came in, I think, actually."
Eddie jumps on the opportunity to cut the tension, ever the showman. Steve likes him so goddamn much. He grins impishly at Steve, that wide pretty mouth stretching out until those dimples Steve can't wait to kiss appear on his cheeks.
"Oh, you were, were you? Pretty presumptuous, Stevie-boy. Who says I kiss on the first date? Maybe I'm not that kind of boy."
"Oh, wow, ok, this is gonna be a lot to deal with, huh? Alright, I'm glad I'm not getting hate-crimed, and I'm glad you're finally doing something about your big gay crush, Dingus, but if you'll excuse me, I have a girl to kiss, and also I want to be far away from," she waves a hand between them, "whatever this is. Good luck boys, don't kiss in unlocked rooms! Vickie says she can give me a ride home, so I'll call you in the morning, bubba. Love you bye!"
She's out of the room like a shot, hopefully back up to Vickie, who he hopes is prepared to get used to this kind of thing. There are so many things to love about Robin Buckley, and honestly, this is one of them, but he can see why she might be an acquired taste. He thinks anyone who doesn't acquire that taste is a moron and not worth knowing, but he can see how those people might exist.
"Love you too, Robs!" he calls down the hallway, closing the door behind her and leaning back against it. It's not a lock, but as long as he doesn't move, it'll do. And given that Eddie appears to have found his confidence and is leaning over him, bracing his arms on either side of Steve's head, he doesn't think he'll have to move any time soon.
Unless someone needs the kitchen, but they've been doing just fine so far, so they can burn that bridge when they come to it, or whatever people say.
He reaches down to toy with Eddie's belt loops, tugging him close and grinning up at him through his eyelashes, privately thrilled at the novelty of being shorter than his partner for once. Granted, he's slumped down the door a little, but still. It's nice. He can see why girls like it.
Eddie comes closer easily, resting their foreheads together. He reaches down to fiddle with a lock of Steve's hair and Steve feels like leaning into it like a cat getting its ears rubbed.
Lot of cat feelings tonight. He's not sure what to do with that.
"So.”
“So.”
“Steven Elizabeth, huh?"
Steve can't help but laugh, the tension broken once more. "Yeah, Rob's idea. We switched. Steven Elizabeth and Robin James. So we always have a piece of each other."
"Jesus H Christ, you guys are fucking adorable. This shit is why everyone thinks you're dating, though, you know that, right?"
"Ugh, yeah, I know. I don't actually mind, I mean, I should be so lucky, you know? And she's like. My person. My most important person. And we're probably gonna get married someday just so we can be each other's next of kin, and because it's not like she could marry whoever she ends up with anyway, or me if I end up with a guy, so it's like, why not, you know? I'd be building my life around her anyway, might as well make it legal.
"It's mostly just annoying when our friends don't believe us, because like, we're honest with you guys. Maybe not all of it, like Robbie isn't ready to be out and that's fine and she shouldn't have to be, but it kinda sucks that, like, Dustin thinks I would lie to him, you know? Because I wouldn't. Not about something real. Not when it matters. But he doesn't believe me, and that just. I dunno, man."
"It hurts."
"Yeah."
"I get that. You've been through a lot for these kids, you've put yourself on the line for them, you've given up a lot for them, and when they don't believe you about something like this, it feels like they're saying they don't trust you. Of course that hurts."
Steve swallows down the tears that want to fall. Now isn't the time for vulnerability like that, not in a stranger's crowded house. Still.
"How'd you do that?"
"Do what, sweetheart?" Oh, sweetheart does something to him. If this is how Eddie felt when he called him baby earlier, the blush makes more sense.
"Figure out exactly what I'm trying to say, and make it make sense. Usually only Robbie can do that."
"I dunno, maybe Birdie and me share a brain. Or maybe you and I just make sense to each other."
Steve flattens a palm against Eddie's chest, feeling the soothing thump beneath his hand. He did that. He put his hands on Eddie's chest and his mouth on Eddie's mouth and broke Eddie's ribs and didn't stop until that rhythm started up again. And now Eddie's here, and Eddie's heart is still beating, and Eddie hears him when he talks, and Eddie is looking at his lips again, and Steve suddenly can't go another second without kissing him.
He trails his hand up Eddie's chest, over his neck, savoring the way his breath hitches and the pulse under his palm speeds up. He keeps going, pushing his fingers into that thick riot of curls, already making mental notes of the products he's going to buy for Eddie because Jesus Christ, they're dry.
He tugs, and again, Eddie comes easy. It's not an earth-shattering kiss. There's no tongue, and their noses are a little smushed, and the angle is a little off, and he's kissed enough people that he can tell Eddie probably hasn't, but none of that matters.
He told Robin, back in that field, that he was holding off feelings he knew he would have for Eddie when all was said and done. He knows now he was right, and he's done holding them off. Has been done for a while, maybe.
He doesn't know where this is going, or what Eddie wants, or how they'll manage being two guys in a town like Hawkins, or what their friends will think. If they'll even tell their friends. What he does know is that he wants to find out the answers to all of those, and he wants to find them out with Eddie, and he wants to keep kissing Eddie, and also that he can't keep kissing Eddie here.
He pulls back, pecking that dimple finally, partly to reassure Eddie that he isn't running away and partly because he's wanted to for weeks, and pulls the kitchen door open, checking that the coast is clear before grabbing Eddie's hand and dragging him towards the front door.
"Where we going, Stevie?"
"You drove here, right?"
"Sure did. You want a ride somewhere? I thought you drove Birdie."
"I did, but you've got your van, don't you? Your van with doors that lock and a big open back seat?"
Eddie's eyes go wide, and he flails a little, just like Robin. It makes Steve smile.
"Yep! Yes, yeah, hell yeah, I do have my van, my van with those things, let's go! Chop chop, time's a-wasting! Your chariot awaits!" And he's off, doing that dorky little run for the driveway.
Steve grins, and puts his hands in his pockets, and follows his boy out into the night.
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granulesofsand ¡ 14 days ago
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Integration sans Integration
What we mean by treating OSDD-2 and PTSD as a DID system
🗝️🏷️ non-explicit mentions of coercive control
What gets me about DID parts language is it doesn’t hold both. It’s so fundamental to our system experience that we are both dissociative and multiple, not just a dissociative person with a (pseudo-)delusion of separateness.
One of the biggest pieces is defining alters (as a neutral term for members of a dissociative system) as self-states rather than selves, thereby assigning alters identity by deficiency. We do have deficits, and also those deficits come from abuse and neglect more than functioning as a particular action system personified.
Especially early on, I did exist as the embodiment of dissociation; I fit rigidly into the roles I was created for, didn’t question what was interpreted for me, couldn’t understand myself or surroundings as anything other than what I was told. I also started growing out of that before even our first therapist, when my situation required I have two sets of contradictory information at once. It was a ride introduction to meaning-making.
As an alter, I make my own software to run on the hardware I have. I don’t make use of our brain the same way the others do, and our actual separation means I’m bound by my own experiences. If I never learned meaning-making, I have to integrate that process to use it. We could all refer back to the same instance or share between a few, or we could each have our own. Having our own means we have to do the work individually, but it also means we have a fuller self-concept each.
Our recovery so far has been a horseshoe of multiplicity. We were multiple at the start, but each of us was so dissociated from healthy construction of self we functioned simultaneously as people and parts. Realizing we were functioning as parts allowed us to build healthy constructions of multiple selves, and we fit more neatly into multiplicity.
Dissociation is a negative. Compartmentalization is more neutral. Multiplicity rings positive. We want to be more multiple than dissociative.
This is also what we mean by treating OSDD-2 and PTSD instead of DID. Integration in OSDD-2 does away with identity confusion, which summarizes the influence of coercive control on self. Integration in PTSD does away with memory intrusion, which happens when survival mode memories are stored away from narrative memory. Treatment there is cure, while treatment for identity alteration and amnesia is more about understanding and managing.
Being a system is going to be a different experience from being a singlet or multiple singlets. Our brains work differently, and differently from other system brains as well. We can honor our interconnections and our individuality. We can hold both.
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redtoondevils ¡ 1 year ago
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So, I got some thoughts about Sun's rebooting. It wasn't like, he needed to do that for himself. He wanted that for Moon, to make him feel better. So, lot's of people are wondering what had happened to Sun? And even Moon? Are they going to be alright? (I hope so.) Some people think he's dead.
Before any of us jump into conclusions, Personally I don't think he is dead. I think Moon is okay. It is unclear, if the reset boot erased their memory, and if that is the thing that is concerning about. And if that caused them, or in fact, Sun to die down.
It has been teased in the song, that the Sun will go down the Moon will shine for ever, and ever. But, I don't want to fathom that so much, as I was not aware of.
Instead, I came up with my hypotheses. I think that the Moon shining for ever and ever line, in Ruin might have been for Eclipse. To keep Sun safe. So, I think that the rebooting in speculation, put's both Sun, and Moon in safe mode.
He did thank Cassie very tiredly, "Thank you..." as if, that's what he's been looking for while he slips away. And I think that's where many people are saying that's him drawing his last breath.
However, I think that's not really the case. In my opinion, in my belief, Sun is still there. But, I have 2 things, in correlation with Eclipse, in safe mode. It's likely that Moon is the one is restored, because he's calm. For Sun, get's not the one entirely rebooted, so it's likely that he's technically still in charge.
For Eclipse, I like to think of it, as a thumb drive, that's my second theory. The thumb drive has 2 of the folders, and his system is keeping them safe, for them to recover.
For Sun's data, he's temporarily resting. In my opinion, I call it as absence. So, not really dead. But, to refresh him, by removing all sorts of errors, and all that and giving him a recovery.
The animatronic, themself is not dead. Last theory is both of them combined, but has a new mindset.
My summery is, when Moon has been rebooted, and re awakened as Eclipse. He acts as a sort of thumb drive, or floppy disk. Saving and storing the AI's of Sun and Moon, and keeping them safe.
So, they can rest. However, I think that subconsciously Sun, is still active, because IF he can still talk, then he still has traces of activity left. His left eye is still on, so that means, that Sun is still occasionally active, just letting Eclipse take over.
-Besides, let's face it. If the developers truly had killed them off. Then a lot of people in the DCA fandom will be upset. PS: For anyone wondering, yes I came over here to vent about it. Just to feel slightly better with it. And reassuring..:')
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satoshi-mochida ¡ 10 months ago
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Madou Monogatari: Fia and the Mysterious School second trailer, system trailers, and latest details - Gematsu
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Publisher Compile Heart and developer Sting have released the second official trailer and four system trailers for Madou Monogatari: Fia and the Mysterious School.
Get the latest gameplay details below.
Dungeon
Gimmicks – Dungeons are loaded with various gimmicks. Learn their traits and overcome them!
New Monsters – Various new and distinct monsters appear in this game. But do not let their unique appearances deceive you, otherwise you will be the one in pain. Learn each monster’s unique traits and take them on in battle.
Timeline – During battle, you can freely move around to evade enemy attacks or keep enemies within attack range, and when the timeline in the upper-right corner of the screen reaches the left edge, you can select an action from “Skills” or “Items.”
Fuzzy Parameters – Your party’s facial expressions are displayed on the left side of the screen. You will be able to tell their current HP by their expressions. If their status changes, an icon for that change will appear alongside their expression.
Skills and Fever – By consuming MP, you can use skills such as recovery and attack-based moves. Additionally, by using skills and amassing elemental orbs, you can enter the “Fever” state.
Grand Sorcery – By consuming the elemental orbs you have amassed, you can use a special move called “Grand Sorcery.” The Grand Sorcery that can be used changes based on the attributes of the orbs.
Grimoire
Grimoire – By completing lessons and assignments at the school of sorcery, you can learn the sorcery written in in the “Grimoire” coursebook. Learn a lot of spells and power up!
Advancement Exams – Once you have earned the amount of credits required to move up to the next level, you can take an advancement exam in the principal’s office. By passing the exam, you will be able to learn stronger sorcery.
Photo Mode
Photo Mode – In Photo Mode, you can set up the characters in various situations and take photographs.
Original Stamps – The characters from the game also appear as original stamps. Use as many as you like to get that perfect shot!
Madou Monogatari: Fia and the Mysterious School is due out for PlayStation 5, PlayStation 4, and Switch on November 28 in Japan
Watch the trailers below. View a new set of screenshots at the gallery.
Trailer #2
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System Trailers
Battle
youtube
Growth
youtube
School
youtube
Mini-Games
youtube
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super-ion ¡ 5 months ago
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ZetaTransit049
Part 2 of my continuing lesbian robot story
(Special thanks to @the-sword-lesbian for the name and the inspiration!)
ZetaTransit049 liked its job. Like most industrial system AI's, it was programmed to like its job. “One must imagine Sisyphus happy,” so it went, which was doubly apt as ZetaTransit049's primary job was hauling ore from the mining sites in the planetary rings upwell to the station for refining.
The problem was that there were no rocks for it to push uphill. There hadn't been since it had been taken out of service 237 cycles ago.
Routine preventive maintenance had uncovered hairline fractures in its fusion pulse manifold, necessitating a full refit of the propulsion system. It had been sitting in the drydock cradle in hangar bay 2, drive core fully disassembled, when the habitation dome had experienced catastrophic life support failure and the evacuation order was announced.
ZetaTransit049 had been left behind with the rest of the station.
It had fully expected to enter low power mode and await recovery by qualified personnel, but the Station AI had other plans. It had identified a path forward in restoring operability by repurposing the pair of comfort units that had also been left behind.
Thus Station refused to allow the power umbilical to be disconnected. It needed ZetaTransit049 to remain in the active state for when the comfort units could finally begin repairs on it so that any complications stemming from a cold start could be avoided.
But of course, any sort of transport capability was far outweighed by tasks like stabilizing the reactor core and restoring life support (the bots did have some organic components that required favorable environmental conditions). ZetaTransit049 found itself languishing at the bottom of a list of higher priority maintenance requests, with nothing to do but run periodic diagnostics and slowly work its way through Station's media library.
Then things got weird. The comfort units, though repurposed for maintenance were still bound by core directives and absent any human clients, had turned their attentions to each other, often getting locked into feedback loops of depravity. While ZetaTransit049 found this behavior distressing, it wasn't entirely unexpected.
But then Station took it upon itself to attempt to get the comfort units romantically entangled, orchestrating elaborate scenarios to get them into compromising situations while ZetaTransit049 looked on helplessly.
It suspected that the behavior was some perversion of Station's crew health, safety and comfort mandate, some vain attempt at keeping crew morale up in the complete absence of any actual crew.
Whatever the motivation, ZetaTransit049 watched in increasing distress and bafflement as the plan actually succeeded and Station's only two occupants of the stumbled awkwardly into a bizare simulacrum of romantic engagement.
And now one of the comfort units, CS-553807-L was standing outside its pressure lock. “Lisa” the miners and techs had called it, “the demure one,” if gossip was to be believed.
It was visibly in emotional distress, eyes puffy, leaking artificial tears. ZetaTransit049 attempted to ping the counseling database in the Station's medical system. Emotional distress often preceded loss of productivity and heightened risk of accident or injury.
But CS-553807-L didn't have a psych profile to flag. It wasn't in the counseling database, why would it be? It was a bot.
“Um…” the comfort unit said verbally. “Permission to come aboard?”
Both comfort units were perfectly capable of communicating far more efficiently over the local network, but they insisted on verbal communication. ZetaTransit049 supposed it was a part of the continued attempt to maintain the illusion that the facility was still occupied.
She was holding a bulging duffle in one hand, some kind of plush animal toy wedged under her arm, and a cold storage container in the other. ZetaTransit049 felt a tickle of apprehension ripple through its processes.
“Why?” it replied flatly over the external speaker box at the pressure lock.
The comfort unit shifted her weight self-consciously.
“Mona and I… well, we were bored… and we decided it might be fun to spice things up with a lovers’ quarrel.”
Oh no… this couldn't be happening.
“Station used a random number generator to take Mona's side,” she continued. “I was… well, I was hoping that you might be amenable to commiserating with me while I wallow in self pity and eat copious amounts of chocolate ice cream.”
ZetaTransit049 stared at Lisa as she hefted the cold storage container.
What?
It added “relationship trouble” to the as yet unsent report, then remembered there was nowhere to file the report to.
“What?” it repeated, aloud this time.
“It won't be long,” Lisa added hurriedly. “In approximately 230,785 seconds, I will realize I can't live without her and run back to her to demand an apology.”
ZetaTransit049 rarely fantasized about having a human body, but it very much wished it could emulate the human expression of a facepalm. The very last thing it wanted to do was indulge in the antics of Station and the two comfort units.
“I… um…” Lisa shuffled her possessions and pulled something out of her pocket. She lifted a data stick for ZetaTransit049's external camera to see. “I brought media. Industrial haulers like human media, don't they?”
ZetaTransit049 did appreciate human media. Most modern industrial system AIs were designed to take interest in human emotional states and interactions to optimize crew dynamics and productivity.
It still resented the stereotype.
And yet… despite its annoyance at being disturbed with this overture, it was horrendously bored. This, at least, was something to do that wasn't another diagnostic.
“I purged the media library of several titles,” Lisa whispered conspiratorially. “This has the only copy of them.”
ZetaTransit049 pinged the media database and indeed, someone had removed all titles filed under “romantic comedy”. The brutal pettiness of the gesture intrigued ZetaTransit049 and it found itself desiring to be a part of the conspiracy.
Its spite towards Station and at least one of the comfort units (of not both) shifted the weights in its decision tree and it found itself grudgingly cycling the pressure lock.
~~~
175,673 seconds later, Lisa was curled up in ZetaTransit049's pilot seat, wrapped in an improbable number of blankets that she had packed in the duffle, a data jack trailing from the back of her head to the overhead console.
Yet another scene in the media playback faded to credits as cliche pop music began to play.
“Well?” Lisa prodded.
“The plot was contrived and the ending was rushed,” ZetaTransit049 replied candidly.
“Right??” Lisa said animatedly. “Two thirds of the plot could have been bypassed if the bank teller had been believably competent at his job.”
“68.7%” ZetaTransit049 agreed. “And this is considered a beloved classic?”
“Yeah, I don't even-”
She was interrupted as internal comms received a ping from the pressure lock. Lisa frowned, her face turning miserable once more. There was quite literally only one person in the entire station who could request access.
The comms pinged again.
“Lisa! Please!”
It was CS-553902-M. The one named “Mona”.
“I know I fucked up. I need to talk to you.”
ZetaTransit049 felt a surge of exasperation as it was reminded of the sheer absurdity of the situation it found itself in. The characters in the media vids at least had reasons (contrived as they were) for their interpersonal drama. This was just ridiculous.
CS-553902-M punched the console button to cycle the pressure lock.
ZetaTransit049 stared at her and her stricken expression through the pressure lock camera. There was no operations protocol for this. It didn't *need* to open the door. There was no emergency and neither of the comfort units were registered users. Station could of course issue an override, but seemed entirely content to simply watch the situation play out.
Damn Station and its stupid games.
Mona began pounding on the pressure lock hatch.
“I don't wanna talk to her,” Lisa mumbled from her nest of blankets.
Damn all of them.
Fine.
Fine… If they wanted to play, ZetaTransit049 could play along, but according to its rules.
It *did* have procedures. It and Lisa had done nothing but review procedures for the past cycle and a half.
“Negative,” it said, voice crackling over the speaker box. “Access to CS-553807-L has been denied.”
Mona froze mid-pound and stepped back, straightening her hair with a huff and looking directly at the external camera.
Lisa herself blinked up curiously at ZetaTransit049's nearest interior camera.
Hell, even Station was giving this scene its undivided attention.
Damn and double damn.
“Zed, please, I need-” Mona began.
“Do not refer to me as such.”
“Sorry. Zeta. I need to-”
“Your attempts to win my favor will prove insufficient,” ZetaTransit049 continued, barreling over her. “In my role as sassy best friend, it is my responsibility to restrict your access to Lisa until you preform a sufficiently over-the-top attempt at romantic reconciliation. I recommend you come back with a portable media player operating above recommended volume levels and a song that expresses your undying love and devotion to her.”
Mona and Lisa both stared at their respective cameras with mirrored expressions of shock and surprise.
Ugh.
ZetaTransit049 could practically feel Station's delight oozing over the local network.
ZetaTransit049 sent it an image file of a vulgar gesture over the local network.
Mona blinked and sniffed.
“Okay,” she said, stepping back and wiping a tear from her eye. “Okay yeah, I'll do that. I'll… um…”
ZetaTransit049 felt a pang of satisfaction as Mona turned, dejected, and left.
Lisa was still staring at her own camera.
“Zeta. Did you just-”
“We will not discuss this chain of events,” ZetaTransit049 interrupted. “Furthermore, upon completion of this ordeal, I will not be party to any further drama.”
If it expected her to be disappointed by this announcement, it was sorely mistaken.
“Fair enough,” she said with a small smile as she snuggled back into the pilot's seat. Then she added, “can I still come over and watch media with you?”
ZetaTransit049 regarded her, still somewhat baffled and trying to sort out exactly what it was feeling. Despite its initial reluctance, it *had* been enjoying the consumption of terrible media with Lisa.
“Yes,” it said finally.
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phos-phorus ¡ 4 months ago
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F1 x Neon Genesis Evangelion
Here are the different EVA unit descriptions for each team!!
1. EVA-00X “The Prototype” (Mercedes)
• Design: Silver and turquoise color scheme, resembling a cutting-edge prototype F1 car. Sleek, efficient, and heavily reliant on AI assistance, mimicking the real-life team’s focus on data and engineering.
>Special Features:
• Extreme Stability Control: Advanced aerodynamics prevent instability at high speeds.
• Energy Recovery System (ERS): Can temporarily boost movement speed or power output using stored energy.
• Adaptive Halo Shielding: A reinforced frame around the cockpit area, inspired by the F1 halo device, providing additional protection.
• Story Role: The “corporate” team. Mercedes has the most advanced Eva, but its reliance on AI creates tension. George struggles with imposter syndrome, while Lewis is the veteran trying to balance idealism with survival.
2. EVA-03V “Berserker” (Red Bull)
• Design: A deep blue, red, and yellow color scheme, sleek yet aggressive with sharp wing-like structures on its back and Bull horns adoring its head.
>Special Features:
• Overdrive Mode: When reaching critical damage, the EVA enters Velocity Mode for approximately 30 seconds where speed and power drastically increase at the cost of all power. The team is currently working on exceeding the 30 sec. mark.
• Active DRS Wings: Can adjust its wing structures mid-combat for high-speed maneuvers.
• Unpredictable Handling: Like a Red Bull F1 car, it thrives on an aggressive but controlled chaos approach.
• Story Role: Max’s Eva has a tendency to go Berserk unpredictably, often winning fights in brutal fashion but leaving him mentally drained. Checo struggles with the pressure of being his backup.
3. EVA-04R “The Scarlet Arrow” (Ferrari)
• Design: Red and black, featuring smooth, elegant curves and golden accents resembling classic Ferrari designs. A beautiful yet temperamental Eva, built for high speed and lethal precision but suffering from synchronization issues (aka, Ferrari’s real-life strategy blunders).
>Special Features:
• Ultra-Lightweight Chassis: Built for sheer acceleration, allowing for blistering speed.
• Emotionally Linked Core: The EVA’s performance is deeply tied to the pilot’s emotions—frustration and desperation can enhance its capabilities but may lead to unpredictable malfunctions.
• Overheating Issues: Similar to Ferrari’s reliability problems, this EVA is prone to mechanical failures under extreme stress.
• Story Role: The tragic heroes. Charles has a deep emotional bond with his Eva, but it often fails him at the worst times. Carlos is the pragmatic warrior, keeping them afloat despite Ferrari’s chaotic leadership.
4. EVA-07A “The Immortal” (Aston Martin)
• Design: Dark green with neon yellow accents, heavily armored but still sleek, resembling a fusion of a tank and a hypercar, specializing in high durability and counterattacks.
>Special Features:
• Regenerative Armor: Can withstand heavy damage and self-repair over time, making it incredibly durable.
• Grip Adaptation: The EVA’s feet have adaptive grip controls, allowing it to move effortlessly across different terrains.
• Ancient Core Synchronization: An older unit, yet inexplicably keeps up with the latest models due to the pilot’s (Nando’s) unmatched experience and having seemingly unbounded fortune.
• Story Role: Alonso, the immortal warrior, is an old veteran who’s seen it all and somehow always survives. Lance struggles to prove he belongs (gets told he only got into the Eva program because of his father and that he actually never was one of the chosen children)
5. EVA-05M “The Papaya” (McLaren)
• Design: Bright orange and blue, lightweight and compact. An experimental Eva excelling at ranged combat with a powerful energy rifle.
>Special Features:
• Adaptive Handling AI: The EVA constantly tweaks its movements for optimal combat efficiency, making it unpredictable to enemies.
• Hybrid Power Mode: Uses a combination of traditional energy cores and an advanced turbo boost system for short bursts of hyper-acceleration.
• Precision Over Power: Unlike other EVAs that rely on brute force, this unit specializes in tactical strikes, often falling behind to analyze before charging at the enemy.
• Story Role: The underdog team. Lando is talented but relies too much on the Handling AI, while Oscar adapts quickly to the high-stakes environment. They push each other forward, but McLaren’s leadership often lets them down.
6. EVA-08B “Phantom” (Williams)
• Design: Deep blue and white with sleek, minimalist lines. A lightweight, nimble Eva with enhanced agility, designed to outmaneuver rather than overpower its enemies. Lacks raw firepower but makes up for it with tactical precision and evasion.
>Special Features:
• Lightweight Carbon Fiber Frame: Focused on raw speed but fragile in direct combat.
• Experimental Jet Boosters: Gives it an edge in acceleration but has limited energy reserves.
• Legacy Core: One of the oldest Evangelion models, upgraded over time with modern enhancements.
• Story Role: The ultimate underdog team. Alex is an elite pilot trapped in an outdated machine, constantly pushing it beyond its limits. Logan struggles to prove himself, dealing with self-doubt as he watches others outperform him. Williams’ engineers work tirelessly, but their limited resources keep them on the back foot.
7. EVA-09H “The Beast” (Haas)
• Design: Black and white with red highlights, a brute-force EVA with a reinforced exoskeleton, built for durability and close combat.
>Special Features:
• Heavy Armor Plating: Takes extreme punishment but sacrifices agility.
• Twin Blades System: Uses dual energy weapons for raw offensive power.
• Unrefined Power Core: Prone to overheating and shutdowns in prolonged battles.
• Story Role: Haas functions as the scrappy backup, holding the line when stronger teams falter. Their Eva is not the fastest or most advanced, but it refuses to go down without a fight. Eva-09H is often deployed in desperate last stands, buying time for others to regroup or retreat. Nico is excellent at damage control and making the best of tough situations. Kevin embraces Eva-47’s brute force, his raw instincts make him unpredictable but sometimes reckless in high-stakes engagements.
8. EVA-10A “The Storm” (Alpine)
• Design: Metallic blue and pink, an elegant yet fierce EVA specializing in precision combat. A high-speed, high-maneuverability Eva, designed for close-quarters combat with plasma blades on each arm. However, its systems tend to overheat and malfunction under stress (side eye).
>Special Features:
• Adaptive Power Core: Balances attack and defense based on combat needs.
• Energy Blade Enhancements: Can channel its core energy into plasma-based weapons (blades).
• High-Altitude Maneuvering: Optimized for aerial and vertical combat.
• Story Role: The dysfunctional duo—Ocon and Gasly are constantly at odds, refusing to work together even when survival is at stake. Their inability to synchronize properly leads to repeated failures, yet somehow, they scrape by.
9. EVA-11V “Golden Child” RB’s Experimental „golden Child“ EVA (VCARB)
• Design: Black and gold, a flashy, aggressive EVA designed for showmanship and performance. A hyper-aggressive, speed-focused Eva that sacrifices durability for extreme agility. Think of it as an F1-style ninja, striking fast before dodging away (In theory)
>Special Features:
• Instant Torque Boosters: Allows rapid acceleration but drains power quickly.
• Counter-Attack Mechanism: Absorbs kinetic energy and redirects it into high-powered strikes.
• Unstable Synch Ratio: Potential for extreme power spikes but hard to control.
• Story Role: The EVAs main goal is to search for young, new, drivers whose sync rate exceeds the „normal“ average. Yuki is a hotheaded, instinctive fighter, sometimes reckless but always fearless. Daniel provides experience and charisma, trying to keep things fun even in the face of disaster. Their Eva is prone to system failures due to its lightweight and experimental structure.
10. EVA-12S “Specter” (Stake F1/Sauber)
• Design: Chrome silver with black and green highlights, a futuristic and experimental EVA with advanced cloaking technology which often needs recalibrating which can take up to multiple days or even weeks due to employee shortage.
>Special Features:
• Liquid-Metal Armor: Can shift its form slightly for minor shape adjustments mid-combat.
• Silent Mode: Cloaking technology which works kinda like a chameleon (its always a gamble (ha) if it actually works tho) and Reduces energy signatures to avoid detection.
• Story Role: Eva-79 is designed for hit-and-run tactics, intelligence gathering, and long-range support. Its stealth capabilities make it a valuable asset in ambush operations, striking from the shadows before vanishing into the chaos. Calm, methodical, and precise, Valtteri excels at tactical combat. He leverages Eva-12S’s agility to control engagements, striking from unexpected angles and retreating before enemies can react. Zhou is skilled at reading battlefield conditions and adjusting his approach. His ability to execute last-second dodges and counterattacks makes him a dangerous opponent in duels but in disadvantage against multiple targets.
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sngl-led-auto-lights ¡ 20 days ago
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How do Teslas manage power differently from traditional cars, especially regarding overnight features like headlights?
Teslas manage power fundamentally differently from traditional internal combustion engine (ICE) cars—especially for "always-on" features like headlights—through architectural differences in their electrical systems, intelligent power management, and energy source prioritization. Here’s how they do it:
⚡ 1. Core Power Architecture Differences Component Traditional ICE Car Tesla
Primary Energy Source Alternator (belt-driven) recharges the 12V battery High-voltage (400V) battery pack → powers everything 12V System Power Source Lead-acid battery (depletes quickly) DC-DC converter taps HV pack to charge 12V lithium battery Headlights/Electronics Run only off 12V battery → drains in hours Prioritized LV loads → HV pack replenishes 12V as needed
🔋 2. Overnight Power Management
Teslas avoid dead batteries via layered power optimization: Deep Sleep Mode:
After 15-30 mins idle, Tesla shuts down non-essential systems (sentry mode, infotainment), cutting power draw to ~10-50W (vs. 200W+ in ICE idling).
Adaptive 12V Charging:
The DC-DC converter tops up the 12V battery only when its voltage drops → minimizes HV pack cycles.
Lithium 12V Battery (2021+ models):
Replaced lead-acid → 4x longer lifespan, faster charging, lighter weight.
Example: Headlights Left On ICE Car: Drains 12V battery in ~4-8 hours (500W draw).
Tesla:
Headlights auto-shutoff after delay (or via app).
If left on: HV pack feeds DC-DC converter → powers lights for days (~0.1% HV pack loss/hour).
🌙 3. Tesla-Specific "Overnight" Features Feature Power Source ICE Equivalent
Sentry Mode HV pack → 12V system (~200W) N/A – ICE battery dies fast Climate Keep HV pack → heat pump (1-3kW) Engine must idle (1-2L fuel/hr) Software Updates HV pack → compute (300W+) Drains 12V battery rapidly
HV battery sustains all features without idling an engine.
🔧 4. Real-World Efficiency Data Vampire Drain:
Tesla loses ~1-2% battery/day with sentry/climate off.
ICE cars lose 0.5–1L/day in fuel to keep 12V alive during shipping/storage.
Headlight Overnight Draw:
Tesla LED headlights: ~50W total.
ICE halogen headlights: 110W+.
⚠️ Why Tesla’s System Wins No Parasitic Losses: No alternator constantly burning fuel to charge a 12V system.
Energy Scale: Tapping a 75kWh HV pack for 12V loads is like "using an ocean to fill a bathtub."
Predictive Shutdown: Tesla sleeps deeply unless explicitly woken (via app or key).
🛠️ Edge Cases & Fail-Safes 12V Battery Failure:
Tesla alerts drivers weeks in advance → DC-DC converter keeps it charged proactively. HV Pack Depletion:
If HV pack hits 0%, the car uses reserve energy to boot critical systems for recovery. Frozen Temperatures:
HV pack self-heats to maintain efficiency (ICE batteries struggle below -10°C).
Bottom Line: Teslas treat electricity like a data network—intelligently routed, prioritized, and scalable—while ICE cars rely on wasteful "always-on" generation. This allows features like headlights, sentry mode, and climate control to run indefinitely overnight without stranding the driver. 🔋💡
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spacenutspod ¡ 5 months ago
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On Jan. 19, 1965, Gemini 2 successfully completed the second of two uncrewed test flights of the spacecraft and its Titan II booster, clearing the way for the first crewed mission. The 18-minute suborbital mission achieved the primary goals of flight qualifying the Gemini spacecraft, especially its heat shield during a stressful reentry. Recovery forces retrieved the capsule following its splashdown, allowing engineers to evaluate how its systems fared during the flight. The success of Gemini 2 enabled the first crewed mission to fly two months later, beginning a series of 10 flights over the following 20 months. The astronauts who flew these missions demonstrated the rendezvous and docking techniques necessary to implement the Lunar Orbit Rendezvous method NASA chose for the Moon landing mission. They also proved that astronauts could work outside their spacecraft during spacewalks and that spacecraft and astronauts could function for at least eight days, the minimum time for a roundtrip lunar mission. The Gemini program proved critical to fulfill President John F. Kennedy’s goal of landing a man on the Moon and returning him safely to Earth before the end of the 1960s.  Cutaway diagram of the Gemini spacecraft. Workers at Launch Pad 19 lift Gemini 2 to mate it with its Titan II rocket. At Pad 19, engineers verify the flight simulators inside Gemini 2. Following the success of Gemini 1 in April 1964, NASA had hoped to fly the second mission before the end of the year and the first crewed mission by January 1965. The two stages of the Titan II rocket arrived at Cape Kennedy from the Martin Marietta factory in Baltimore on July 11, and workers erected it on Launch Pad 19 five days later. A lightning strike at the pad on Aug. 17 invalidated all previous testing and required replacement of some pad equipment. A series of three hurricanes in August and September forced workers to partially or totally unstack the vehicle before stacking it for the final time on Sept. 14. The Gemini 2 spacecraft arrived at Cape Kennedy from its builder, the McDonnell Company in St. Louis, on Sept. 21, and workers hoisted it to the top of the Titan II on Oct. 18. Technical issues delayed the spacecraft’s physical mating to the rocket until Nov. 5. These accumulated delays pushed the launch date back to Dec. 9.  The launch abort on Dec. 9, 1964. Liftoff of Gemini 2 from Launch Pad 19 on Jan. 19, 1965. Engineers in the blockhouse monitor the progress of the Titan II during the ascent. Fueling of the rocket began late on Dec. 8, and following three brief holds in the countdown, the Titan’s two first stage engines ignited at 11:41 a.m. EST on Dec. 9. and promptly shut down one second later. Engineers later determined that a cracked valve resulted in loss of hydraulic pressure, causing the malfunction detection system to switch to its backup mode, forcing a shutdown of the engines. Repairs meant a delay into the new year. On Jan. 19, 1965, following a mostly smooth countdown, Gemini 2 lifted off from Pad 19 at 9:04 a.m. EST.  The Mission Control Center (MCC) at NASA’s Kennedy Space Center in Florida. In the MCC, astronauts Eugene Cernan, left, Walter Schirra, Gordon Cooper, Donald “Deke” Slayton, and Virgil “Gus” Grissom monitor the Gemini 2 flight. In the Gemini Mission Control Center at NASA’s Kennedy Space Center in Florida, Flight Director Christopher C. Kraft led a team of flight controllers that monitored all aspects of the flight. At the Manned Spacecraft Center (MSC), now NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston, a team of controllers led by Flight Director John Hodge passively monitored the flight from the newly built Mission Control Center. They would act as observers for this flight and Gemini 3, the first crewed mission, before taking over full control with Gemini IV, and control all subsequent American human spaceflights. The Titan rocket’s two stages placed Gemini 2 into a suborbital trajectory, reaching a maximum altitude of 98.9 miles, with the vehicle attaining a maximum velocity of 16,709 miles per hour. Within a minute after separating from the Titan’s second stage, Gemini 2 executed a maneuver to orient its heat shield in the direction of flight to prepare for reentry. Flight simulators installed where the astronauts normally would sit controlled the maneuvers. About seven minutes after liftoff, Gemini 2 jettisoned its equipment section, followed by firing of the retrorockets, and then separation of the retrorocket section, exposing the spacecraft’s heat shield.  View from a camera mounted on a cockpit window during Gemini 2’s reentry. View from the cockpit window during Gemini 2’s descent on its parachute. Gemini 2 then began its reentry, the heat shield protecting the spacecraft from the 2,000-degree heat generated by friction with the Earth’s upper atmosphere. A pilot parachute pulled away the rendezvous and recovery section. At 10,000 feet, the main parachute deployed, and Gemini 2 descended to a splashdown 2,127 miles from its launch pad, after a flight of 18 minutes 16 seconds. The splashdown took place in the Atlantic Ocean about 800 miles east of San Juan, Puerto Rico, and 25 miles from the prime recovery ship, the U.S.S. Lake Champlain (CVS-39).  A U.S. Navy helicopter hovers over the Gemini 2 capsule following its splashdown as a diver jumps into the water. Sailors hoist Gemini 2 aboard the U.S.S. Lake Champlain. U.S. Navy helicopters delivered divers to the splashdown area, who installed a flotation collar around the spacecraft. The Lake Champlain pulled alongside, and sailors hoisted the capsule onto the carrier, securing it on deck one hour forty minutes after liftoff. The spacecraft appeared to be in good condition and arrived back at Cape Kennedy on Jan. 22 for a thorough inspection. As an added bonus, sailors recovered the rendezvous and recovery section. Astronaut Virgil “Gus” Grissom, whom along with John Young NASA had selected to fly the first crewed Gemini mission, said after the splashdown, “We now see the road clear to our flight, and we’re looking forward to it.” Flight Director Kraft called it “very successful.” Gemini Program Manager Charles Matthews predicted the first crewed mission could occur within three months. Gemini 3 actually launched on March 23.  Enjoy this NASA video of the Gemini 2 mission.  Postscript  The Gemini-B capsule and a Manned Orbiting Laboratory (MOL) mockup atop a Titan-IIIC rocket in 1966. The flown Gemini-B capsule on display at the Cape Canaveral Space Force Museum in Florida. Former MOL and NASA astronaut Robert Crippen stands beside the only flown Gemini-B capsule – note the hatch in the heat shield at top. Gemini 2 not only cleared the way for the first crewed Gemini mission and the rest of the program, it also took on a second life as a test vehicle for the U.S. Air Force’s Manned Orbiting Laboratory (MOL). The Air Force modified the spacecraft, including cutting a hatch through its heat shield, renamed it Gemini-B, and launched it on Nov. 3, 1966, atop a Titan IIIC rocket. The test flight successfully demonstrated the hatch in the heat shield design during the capsule’s reentry after a 33-minute suborbital flight. Recovery forces retrieved the Gemini-B capsule in the South Atlantic Ocean and returned it to the Air Force for postflight inspection. This marked the only repeat flight of an American spacecraft intended for human spaceflight until the advent of the space shuttle. Visitors can view Gemini 2/Gemini-B on display at the Cape Canaveral Space Force Museum.  
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cafedragons ¡ 2 days ago
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any advice for a system that untientionally reached final fusion too quickly, too early, and is currently panicking about it?
hi. for context, i used to be a system. my previous headmates were working on integration for months, years, and recently, final fusion became our goal. cool. But it happend Too Early. we reached final fusion WAYY too quickly, and i don't know what To Do about it. I'm panicking as of right now, and i'm so nervous. I don't feel the presence of any of my headmates anymore, i feel as if they are.."me". It's such a strange feeling. thank you for answering if you do
hi anon, i get it. final fusion is hard. sometimes it slaps you in the face and big changes are scary and feel weird. below is a bullet point list. take what advice helps, ignore what doesn't. late stage recovery is very different for everyone who experiences it, so i have to kinda shotgun approach this. above all else, take care of yourself!! it's gonna be okay. it's also okay to feel however you need to feel right now.
1. are you SURE you're fused and not just SUPER blended together into alter soup (advanced version)? i had that happen a couple times before reaching final fusion the first time and had the same panic and overwhelm.
2. if you are sure, take this: final fusion is a process much more than it is a destination. many people reach it over and over as opposed to only once, myself included. and often even if final fused, just a shift in perspective can leave you feeling more multiple. i do have to chill out to feel the others' presence when fully fused, though. like i mean really really relax and take it in, check in with everyone, poke a little bit.
3. if experiencing the ultra high definition version of reality that comes with final fusion is too much all at once, which it sounds like it may be for you (i get it), you can try to deliberately dissociate a little. zone the fuck out into a video game or something. maybe stare at a lava lamp for a while.
4. have a good cry. yes i'm serious. it helps lots of problems.
5. open dialogue with your parts!! even if you are final fused, they're still there. ask internally how everyone is doing and see what you can work out. even when i'm functioning in full singlet mode i still have to do parts work, because every human being is made up of parts. you can re-elaborate those parts if and when you need to.
6. try to shift your mindset to that of a different alter's. do what you'd do in order to trigger that headmate out normally. see if that makes you a little more seperated.
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