#25 but being treated like im fucking 12

[sad--tree]

what do u do when u tell ur parent in no uncertain terms Thank You For The Offer But I Do Not Want A Tutor For This Course It Will Not Help And I Am Deeply Uncomfortable With It Do Not Get Me One

and then they go and book u with an online tutor. without asking. what the fuck.

[nomaishuttle]

hiding in the stairwell for 30 minutes so that i stop freaking out challenge

[chaosprincess404]

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜

Sex Questions Part 1 (first 30 100% honest answers only).

Do you like kissing with a lot or little tongue?

Depends the person but I like deep tongue kisses mainly.

2) Which parts of your body do you like to have kissed?

Neck or inner thigh, I will melt instantly.

3) What’s your favourite part about having quickies?

The thrill of being able to not hold back and go crazy on each other.

4) How do you like your breasts and nipples played with?

Absolutely love it.

5) Do you like being spanked?

Yes, I like it as hard as possible so I feel the sting for days and sit their dumb brain at work thinking about it.

6) Do you like spanking others?

Sometimes if I’m being dom.

7) Do you find yourself more dominant or submissive during sex?

Ok so here the thing. I can switch depending the partner but primarily I’m a dom outside of bed and an extreme sub in bed.

8) Do you like role play?

I do indeed it can make things very fun.

9) Do you like calling guys “Daddy?”

Only the man who owns me will ever be daddy when i’m owned. I’m loyal type.

10) What names do you like to be called during sex?

Anything derogatory or degrading as well as princess and babydoll.

11) How much eye contact do you like to have during sex?

Honestly I love it a lot because I love seeing my partners pleasure on his face and I also love him to stare me down like a hungry beast.

12) How long do you usually like to have sex for?

!!AS.LONG.AS.POSSIBLE!!

13) What’s something sexual you hesitated to try but ended up loving?

Anal, CNC, Breeding, Wateraports, Knifeplay, Most things tbh.

14) What’s something sexual you thought you’d love, but ending up not caring for?

I mean there is nothing really that I have tried… few things that I haven’t tried cause I know I won’t like them.

15) What, if anything, do you like about having threesomes?

Ok so hear me out…. So hypocritical I know but I will not ever share my man when in relationship. I’m possessive as hell! But I’m ok with him sharing me but I will always give him my main focus.

16) Do you like watching other people have sex?

I’d rather be doing it but I guess it’s fine for solo play.

17) Do you like being watched having sex?

Im an exhibitionist so yes, public sex is also a massive turn on for me.

18) What are your favourite sex positions?

That’s hard to choose tbh because I love all of it. I guess face down pushed into the floor and ass up having my holes used and abused. I love some CNC.

19) What makes you orgasm the fastest?

Choking me and treating me like a worthless whore.

20) Have you ever tried anal? Would you want to try?

Yes and I love it. I also enjoy DP.

21) Do you like anal play on a man?

Depends the partner to be honest but I have done it when they like it.

22) Would you ever want to try pegging?

I have pegged someone before and it’s fine with me. My partner at the time wanted to try it so I was happy to let him experience it.

23) Do you like being choked during sex?

HELL YES! This is absolute.

24) Do you like choking your partner during sex?

I can at times, or suffocating him with my ass.

25) What type of porn turns you on?

CNC, Public, Rough, Domination, Gameshow/TV, Time stop, kink related stuff like water sports rubbing / grinding and the list goes on……

26) Which are your favourite sex toys to masturbate with?

Lush 3 currently but I want a fuck machine.

27) Which sex toys do you like to use during sex?

All of them lol, use whatever you want on me.

28) Do you like having sex in the shower?

Yes I do, spas are good too!

29) How would you respond if a couple approached you to be their third?

Depends the people tbh and depends my status at the time.

30) How do you like to have your vagina stimulated manually?

Let me sit on your face while you suck the chaos out from between my legs.

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 18

chapter 32:

1. SCREAMING!! ITS BARTY!!

2. also, reg waking up and asking for james, even though it’s been MONTHS freaking hurts

3. “"Lovely. Genuinely, nothing pleases me more than being a thorn in the side of the hot ghost that lives in your dreams."” -barty

4. “"I do so love when you demand I come lay beside you through the night, mistake me for another man the next morning, and then immediately kick me out afterwards. Truly, you know how to make a man feel special."” -barty LMAOOO HES SO FUNNY

5. the arena took the comfort of baths away from reg and i will forever be angry

6. i love barty and reg’s bickering 😭😭😭

7. plssss not barty thinking reg needs to have more orgasms 😭😭😭

8. 😟 why is james coming by to see reg through the window every day so heartbreaking???

9. OMG OMG OMG IM CRYING CAUSE THATS SO SOFT!!! every single day, james leaves something at reg’s doorstep, and every single day, reg rushes to the door to see the flower. and he presses it in between his books. that’s. AHHHHHHH

10. AHDKAHDKDJKSKDKS MARY!?!??????? MARY IS HERE?????

11. james can’t help chop firewood for his dad anymore because the hatchet reminds him of the arena 😟😟😟

12. james is a little shit about his leg and i love that

13. AWWWWW SIRIUS MADE JAMES A CHAIR TO GET UP THE STAIRS ON DAYS WHEN HIS LEG IS BAD!!!!

14. “"Flea, be a dear and spit in my mouth," Effie says.” ADJKSHDKSKS

15. shit shit shit shit i’m sobbing. sirius started building things again

16. 😟 sirius made jegulus a bookshelf for their other life

17. i’m glad orion and walburga are scared of sirius and regulus. i also wish sirius would just throw them out to the curb

18. 😧 riddle is here. fuck fuck fuck fuck

19. god bless sirius black and his skills at conveying important information with so little words

20. 😟 the horcrux hornet. i can’t deal with this shit

21. riddles a fucking bitch and i can’t wait for him to die. (psa, i am not a fan of violence and i do not indorse murder. however, as this fictional character is worse than satan, i am looking forward to his murder)

22. i love that parents try not to let their little kids watch the games (basic humanity amiright?) also! the fact that the kids treat james like any other adult and don’t know the horrors he committed

23. “Regulus could have been Hodge, if Sirius didn't volunteer for him.” 😧 that’s vile

24. james still using his cane >>>>>>

25. TRANS MARY SUPREMACY!!

26. james losing track of where he is when he sees a horcrux hornet makes me want to cry

27. the coffee question pissed me off

28. 😧 sirius talks to the moon in order to talk to remus. i-

29. as always, i’m in love with the authors notes

[filthforfriends]

never thought you'd hear it from a picky bitch like me but that Germany show was everything I want from Maneskin and then some! Their live concerts are oodles better than their recent studio stuff

43 things I loved about Rock am Ring

Thomas dressing like a 70s rocker but with his stomach exposed FUCKYES

2. BREATH Io ho scritto pagine e pagine, ho visto sale poi lacrime Questi uomini in macchina non scalare le rapide Scritto sopra una lapide, in casa mia non c'è Dio Ma se trovi il senso del tempo risalirai dal tuo oblio BREATH non c'è vento che fermi la naturale potenza Dal punto giusto di vista, del vento senti l'ebrezza Con ali in cera alla schiena ricercherò quell'altezza Se vuoi fermarmi ritenta, prova a tagliarmi la testa perché

3. Vic with those red tights, black boots, cheeky leather underwear yummy the whole fit was amazing

4. Damiano being an eccentric and unabashed with raw sexual energy

5. it being sort of messy: I don't know if the click track was off or they were nervous but it was rock n' roll

6. adding more counts to the instrumental bits

7. the experimental hard rock interludes between songs

8. rearranging all their songs to be as hard and heavy as possible

9. Thomas and his whammy bar <3

10. Victoria with her leg up on the drum kit hoooohohohoho fuck yeah

11. Ethan bordering on overplaying. I fucking love drummers who play like this and its perfect for Maneskin.

12. Thomas fucking with the tuning of his guitar

13. Victoria is adorable running up and down the stage. I didn't even know I needed it

14. Damiano in red leather is elite

15. Ethan using fills! He's using fills guys!!11!!!!111!!!1! I'm so happy I've been waiting for this GO BABY GO

16. Bangs with her hair up. god is this woman in particular.

17. the avant garde design of Thomas' top isn't overtly feminine, but that and the white color highlight the delicate femininity within his handsomeness. im horny

18. the drum sound! its like he's playing harder than he was two months ago. Ethan is taking up space in the music so well and its so satisfying to listen to

19. gorgeous wild hair everywhere !!

20. Victoria ass

21. the way Damiano opened the concert. some bands make this huge build up but he greets the crowd and starts the show with so much control and class its sexy

22. Damiano singing like he has a third lung somehow !?!? like every rap, every verse his breath control is incredible.

23. dragging Thomas across the stage lmoa

24. eye makeup

25. Dami like breaks the third wall with the crowd if that makes sense??

26. Vic's bass as always (when they finally got that shit properly mixed I would have been furious)

27. their band chemistry...like we take it for granted

28. Thomas is so majestic

29. VIC PLZ DO THAT FACING CAMERA THO

30. Damiano's physicality - sitting, dancing, crouching. he oozes superstardom strutting that run way

31. The new Supermodel melody thank god

32. I want to lick Tommy's spine one vertebrae at a time

33. I wanna be your DOOOOOOOOOOG

34. Thomas' boots

35. Thomas

36. I'm going to fuck Thomas Raggi

37. The way Dami is treating those extended notes

38. The power trio I Wanna Be Your Dog big ending, Vic's face especially

39. Damiano shit talking the production team on stage

40. Victoria's smile omfg I love this woman so much

41. teeth pickin' center stage baby!

42. The way Ethan ended it <3

43. the crowd. can't give you guys enough credit. amazing

[balmasque]

GRINS THANK YOU @flamechasr

VANITAS

18. A memory of a time you felt loved

surprise here's a childhood memory. sometime during my time living with luna and milkail, i had a nightmare (i do not remember exactly what about) that was so bad that I woke up crying. I stayed in bed not wanting to disturb either of them, but luna mustve heard me because they came in. they sat down on the bed and held me until i calmed down, whispering things like 'youre safe now, its alright' to me. i hadn't had any contact from a parental figure in so long that it nearly overwhelmed me. but looking back, it makes me feel really to remember how much they cared even if i didnt understand why.

20. A positive memory of Noe

i remember he used to get injured a lot - they were never serious, usually just bruises or scrapes from 'being clumsy' or murr's claws/teeth. i was more often than not the one who patched him up. he'd apologize profusely and claim he was being a burden, but i (in my own way) kept assuring him it was fine and i didn't care. almost every time though, he'd tell me he was really grateful for it and to have someone like me who was so good at treating injuries around.

21. A negative memory of Noe

cheating and goin with a source memory for this one. the episode i had at the ferris wheel after i realized he'd seen an extension of my memories without my permission and attacked him for it really fucks me up to think about. i can still feel the utter dread and guilt after i snapped out of it and realized what i was doing + that i couldnt go through with what i started.

ZORA

36. Favorite moment in source

probably the time i turned bugsy into a baby LOL. fuck banzai lives. or my opening scene in episode 7, both are really fun to watch from a kin perspective

HUNTER

12. A memory of home

before the timeskip in the finale, darius took me in officially. though, sometimes, he'd go over to visit alador/vice versa and brought me along with him since he knew amity and i were (at least from my perspective) becoming friends. there was one specific moment where we were all just sitting around talking in the kitchen, bantering like our usual selves and i had such a warm feeling in my chest the whole time. i never knew what having/being part of a family felt like until then

PERIDOT

25. Someone you wish you were closer to or knew better pearl, definitely. out of the other crystal gems, she's the one i remember spending the least time with alone.

KYOKO

37. Least favorite moment in source

my ummm girl backstory im gonna say. Yeah. Or the horrors in ep 3

30. Someone you didnt expect to kin and/or knew youd immediately kin

when i saw barbie (2023) i didnt think i'd kin anyone at all, yet alone ken. however, especially during the climax i started to get kin feelings for him but wasnt sure if they were genuine or just me reacting to scenes i could relate to internally. it wasnt until maybe weeks later that i finally processed the kin related emotions and ended up realizing that i truly did

[themkultra]

do NOT take this the freak way 

but like how did we get so entrenched in the culture of “if you’re an adult interacting with minors you must be tiptoeing on eggshells 100% of the time otherwise ur grooming them” where we get these huge callout posts/warning docs abt like . literally a “ur mom” joke or smth of that cadence, like im specifically curious about what makes 17 a minor but like the SECOND you turn 18 its like “YOU MUST TAG EVERY POST U MAKE THAT HAS THE SLIGHTEST PENIS MENTION WITH MINORS DNI, DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT TALKING TO MINORS AFTER 8PM, AND DONT YOU EVER DARE TALK ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEM EVER BC UR GONNA GROOM THEM!!!” like bro its 12:06am on ur birthday, 7 minutes ago it wouldve been fair game??? like what??? i dont get it genoiuenly also i think 18 should still be considered “minor” but also i think we need to reevaluate what minor/adult even MEANS in ONLINE spaces specifically online. like ive been told i cant talk about a funny hookup story with someone whos like 5 months younger than me bc i had just turned 18 . where is the logic in that. like ur brain dont stop developing until like 25 or smth. ON THE OTHER HAND i totally understand the reasoning thats like, oh ur at different maturity levels and diff stages in life, thats why you should be cautious when talking with someone younger than you and yeah thats totally fair! but i also think its making a lot of adults think that they can no longer have the same friendship relationship they had before with their friends who happen to be minors, which is kinda sad bc like come on penis and sex jokes are fucking funny we’re not puritans here and anyone whjo thinks teenagers dont think abt sex is living under a rock AND AGAIN IM NOT A FUCKING FREAK IM NOT ACTIVELY THINKING ABT TEENS HAVING SEX im just saying, why are we treating all minors like sterilized fabergé eggs who must be handled with like 6 layers of starchy white gloves as to not upset their delicate balance . i think its healthy for teens to have adult friends who treat them like adults IN THE RIGHT WAYS bC a lot of times all the adults in their lives treat them like babies when they want to be recognized as the individuals they are. i think im a much better well rounded person bc i had adult friends (technically parent’s friends that talked to me when they were over) when i was younger that taught me shit abt like, yknow, being an adult and growing up while still having healthy boundaries. like i think tumblr is soooo far removed from real life im realizing this more and more if real life was how tumblr is it would be insane tbh. imagine a highschooler goes up to you and asks for directions on the street and u have to be like “IM 18 IM AN ADULT DONT INTERACT WITH ME I MIGHT GROOM YOU” like ?????? jesus? anyway go ahead flay me alive if you like but again i leave you with this:

i am a normal person if whatever you think i may be implying is nasty then obvsiously im not implying it and youre reading this wrong on purpose

also since when could you get crucified for talking about anything relating to different age relationships without being accused of being a freak. go outside

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

Ich habe 1.958 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

Das sind 1.241 more posts als 2021!

166 Einträge erstellt (8%)

1.792 Einträge gerebloggt (92%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@ashinlae

@agendratum

@zelkam

@veliseraptor

@tgcfartreblogs

Ich habe 1.871 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

Nur 4% meiner Einträge hatten keine Tags

#personal – 194 Einträge

#tgcf fanart – 151 Einträge

#joy – 125 Einträge

#wangxian fanart – 82 Einträge

#daily life thingies – 69 Einträge

#the art tag – 67 Einträge

#qiye – 62 Einträge

#tian ya ke – 62 Einträge

#the gay tag – 60 Einträge

#wenzhou fanart – 58 Einträge

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#unruly boyfriends in their 20s just manifests that wildness and tacitness i associate with them way better than the word husbands ever could

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

#5

i am overwhelmed. i cant believe its true. i want to replay their kiss a thousand times. i was right I WAS RIGHT. i was right (sobs)

15 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 12. November 2022

#4

always thought the boat scene with jiang cheng, wei wuxian and later jiang yanli just before the burning of lotus pier was kinda weird. both yu furen and jiang fengmian essentially treat wei wuxian the same way. yu furen adds her flavor of temperament to it, but that is it. they both tell wei wuxian to protect their children, and they both give their children more attention in the end than him. i always chalked it up as one of the key scenes for telegraphing the neglect wei wuxian experiences with the yunmeng jiang, but. maybe. it is just because he is a disciple of their sect and a servant, and in times of danger disciples are responsible for protecting those in higher positions like the future sect leader and his sister. so maybe. it is normal?

20 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 25. April 2022

#3

there is just something about fictional gays pulling the reverse bury your gays card like wenzhou in woh nearly dying (multiple times!) but instead of that becoming immortal, wangxian in mdzs/the untamed with wwx committing sucide/being torn to death before he could date lwj or even acknowledge their mutual affection and then literally getting a second life in which he can fulfill all of this and more, or in tgcf with hualian both being already a ghost or a god and literally keeping eachother in this world for literally all of eternity

25 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 3. Mai 2022

#2

sobs in wrecked farmcore lesbian i want just one (1) modern au with sapphic yushi huang that does not involve ~canon plot~ or ~main characters~ or ~men~ whatsoever is that too much to ask cries in repressed simp

26 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 22. April 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

woh is like these western romance novels about bad boys with dark backstories and lethal abilities but instead of evelating that it focuses on zzs and wkx being dramatiqueée bitches as fuck and tips it off with them being pathetic and sad and silly and idiotic and i sometimes wonder what their enemies, or essentially anybody who doesnt have the questionable honor of being part of their inner circle, see when they meet them because we only know them like this

26 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 30. Mai 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

[mariisauruslove]

Reasons why I feel the way i feel for you:

Reason 1: You are there for me even when I push you away.

Reason 2: You never have left me

Reason 3: You always know what to say and reply to every part of my messages.

Reason 4: You never belittle me or make me feel small or ugly

Reason 5: Youre a goofball and you always manage to make me smile and laugh so much.

Reason 6: You are ambitious and successful in your careerpath

Reason 7: You are so positive, you are the sun in my sky. You make my life brighter

Reason 8: You reassure me when im feeling insecure

Reason 9: You dont have a favorite shape but have a favorite number lol

Reason 10: You are always the highlight of my day

Reason 11: I’ve given you the worst parts of me and you treated them all with the utmost respect and love. You truly put me together and held me.

Reason 12: You love the moon as a form of weather lol and disagree that I don’t think its actually a type of weather.

Reason 13: Youre so smart, you dont rely on the words of people but you see who they are now

Reason 14: The way you maneuver your life is amazing considering everything you’ve been through

Reason 15: You motivate me to reach my goals

Reason 16: You push me to be the better person i want to be

Reason 17: You love the moonlight as much as i do

Reason 18: You dont get weirded out easily by me lmao

Reason 19: You always cheer me up when I’m in a bad mood, ex. with a joke or a video.

Reason 20: You have this spunk to you that always makes me smile

Reason 21: You will always keep me on my toes

Reason 22: You make little voices when you’re talking as someone else in your stories

Reason 23: You believe in me

Reason 24: You are so wise and have the most beautiful heart of gold

Reason 25: Your voice is the perfect pitch

Reason 26: You’ve caught me off guard, i never expected this love to grow as it had.

Reason 27: You mostly always beat me at games lol (it’s definitely rigged tho and I want a refund 😂)

Reason 28: You water me daily and make me feel so alive.

Reason 29: You cherish your friends and family

Reason 30: You have this glow of love to you that radiates for miles

Reason 31: You write down your dreams

Reason 32: You’ve trained yourself to control your dreams (also this is your favorite number)

Reason 33: You are one of the kindest souls I know

Reason 34: The hours you don’t message me feel like lifetimes of boredom.

Reason 35: I want to constantly be around you because you make me so happy

Reason 36: I absolutely love your brain, the way it thinks and strategizes. There’s so much to explore about you.

Reason 37: I love how you love green like my best friend.

Reason 38: You don’t seem to complain about your problems to anyone, you just fix them

Reason 39: You have the same music taste I do and tbh I fuck with that 😂

Reason 40: You bring music to my attention that I forgot I listened to.

Reason 41: Being around you / talking to you is like reliving my favorite childhood memories

Reason 42: You’re so familiar to me yet so not

Reason 43: At first I struggled to make conversation with you but then it became really easy to talk to you

Reason 44: You are warmth and life in my universe

Reason 45: You have impacted my life more than you can imagine

Reason 46: Every little silly thing you do makes me say “I love this man” under my breath and makes my heart feel warm 💛

Reason 47: You always post “decisions were made” when you see a misplaced item and it makes me giggle every time

Reason 48: You LOVE pineapple on pizza and i def fuck with that 😂 (hawaiian is your favorite)

Reason 49: You apparently think supreme tastes terrible, which offends me, but the fact you hate it means more for me 😂 so if we ever order pizza, I’ll probably order us hawaiian and supreme 😂

Reason 50: You support me and are there for me in ways i didnt know i needed

Reason 51: I love the way you tell stories. You dont suck at telling them like me 😂

Reason 52: I absolutely adore your sarcasm. It matches mine and the way they interact is gr8 :’)

Reason 53: I love your sense of humor.

Reason 54: You’re so selfless and kind

Reason 55: You say you have flaws, but I really don’t see them. You literally can do anything lol… well, i love your drawings but you dont but i still think you can do anything 😂

Reason 56:You’re a man of your word and don’t make promises or commitments unless you’re able to

Reason 57: You dont hate twilight 😂

Reason 58: You’re unapologetically you and stand so firm within yourself ❤️

Reason 59: You’re my rock and keep me together when im falling apart.

60: You dont judge anyone for being themselves and dont let your opinions be projected onto others

61: You are so understanding

62: You’re empathetic and compassionate towards others

63: I love how there were moments we shared where we were both having a hard time and we comforted each other, saying one day at a time, like a small hug that wrapped around us.

64: You calm me with your presence and i find comfort in your company.

65: I love how you hold yourself accountable when you know you make mistakes and try your best to make up for them.

66: I love that you dont let hard times stop you from shining. You’re my sunny leo ♌️. 🌞

67: i love how you are always so dedicated and motivated towards your goals, not just career but in your personal life too.

68: you have much in common with me. Ngl, ive questioned if it was just to agree with me but you’re more you.

69: I see my whole future with you and i cannot see it with anyone else. I know id constantly be happy because the way we interact is so loving.

70: You probably love food as much as i do lol even though i have a weird relationship with it

71: You are terrible at goodbyes just like me.

72: I love how you showed me the office, because it easily became my favorite show.

73: i love making you happy, because your laughter deserves to be heard everyday. i love your laugh.

74: you’re everything on my list of what i want in a man. Literally everything. Although, you definitely added traits to that list.

75: i love how you teach me things without degrading me.

76: I love how you’re honest with me even when it’s not something I want to hear.

77: I love how you enjoy traveling and find yourself enjoying the journey more than the destination.

78: i love how you’re independent.

79: I love how you taught me to love myself.

80: i love how you taught me to heal and set boundaries.

81: I love how you taught me to stop accepting the minimum and set standards for myself.

82: i love how although you broke my heart, you allowed me to see.

83: i love how Lovers in Japan by Coldplay is your favorite song.

84: Dude legit i found it so cool how you did math ezpz. You’re a wizard 🧙‍♂️ Dabes!

85: You’re not a perfect person but you were perfect to me.

86: i love how you love Christmas as much as i do.

87: I love how you love taylor swift. #Swiftie

88: I love how you’re outgoing and make friends wherever you go, because I be awkward at making friends lol but im working on it

89: I love how you’re always so excited to live life, every moment is yours to live.

90: I love how unselfish and caring you are.

91: I love how your brain works, the way it processes things.

92: I love how you’re overall a happy spirit and taught me to be the same way.

93: I love how there’s many depths to you, each one only revealed by you.

94: Although I wished youd open up more to me, you taught me the art of emotional independence. To stop relying so much on people when I should have the capacity to fix it.

95: I love how you enjoy running and how it connects you with your family.

96: I love that you’re a family man and will do anything for your family.

97: I love how twilight reminds you of me and it will be something that will always tie your thoughts to me.

98: I love how you inspire others to reach their goals.

99: I love that even in scary situations, such as your heart issues, you remain strong and uplifting. You stay positive and keep going.

100: I love you because you pulled me out of the darkest hole I’ve been in my whole life, where I knew I wouldn’t come back. And you did it without wanting anything in return. You declared that any human deserves this, but you poured love from your cup into mine and because of you, I’m alive. This ill never forget. You’re the bestest friend I could have ever acquired throughout my life.

[lorelbunny]

Day 1:

- 90kg 162cm

- DIAGNOSED anaroxia/bulimia

- i do not like my height i want to be shorter

Day 3:

Seeing this changed my brain chemistry. This is what i looked like before i recovered and now that I've relapsed this is all that i want. Im obsessed with looking petite again and they way i used to be treated when i was petite. I feel like i was loveable instead of fuckable but now im just fuckable.

Day 4: lose skin because of how much i gained in recovery

Day 5: kinda explaine in day 3

Day 6: no i just tend to purge

Day 7: no i dont live with them anymore but they helped cause my ed so probably not

Day 8: walk around 20k steps

Day 9: yes always family tho

Day 10: eating obviously duh

Day 11: n/a

Day 12:

Day 13: unhealthy obviously this is a disorder not a silly liet diet

Day 14: 40kg probably by jan

Day 15: No.

Day 16: when i first became disordered at 12

Day 17: yes ana/mia

Day 18: fucking chocolate 💫

Day 19: two weeks ago, omad KFC

Day 20: omad 600-800kcals or 3 day diet coke fast + 1k rest of week

Day 21: L because i decided to recover 🔫

Day 22: 41kg, forced and then voluntary recovery

Day 23: no mostly family influence

Day 24: i hate them. I am proana/mia for myself only but i wouldn't wish this on anyone, especially being at a higher weight or relapsing multiple times etc bc its all you think about. The fact that wheter i attempt depends on a NUMBER is sick 😭 even after you recover it never goes away.

Day 25: Yes i dont remember the first time i just remembered last time i almost choked and i haven't purged in like 3 weeks

Day 26: looking like what i used to look like. Exposed collarbones, being fucking tiny, my thigh gap most of all.

Day 27: fasting, diet coke, gum and only omading towards the end of the day otherwise i will binge

Day 28: yes i want my fucking thigh gap back so bad 😭

Day 29: petite, blush.

Day 30: 87.5kg 162 cm

Still dx

I love pink

I wish i could be a bunny

Im genderfluid & use she/her

Im sapphic

I am LITERALLY a princess

I am the embodiment of autism (fr)

I love the sea

There's a bug in my room rn please send help ☠️

Not fat or anything phobic if you are please leave me alone

Idk 😭

[brahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

im gonna do this cause i see it everywhere and never have but idrk if people care so im just gonna do as much as i want all at once for fun

1 sw 172 hw 205 cw 173 lw 140

2 im 5'5 and a half technically and i wish i was just 5'5 or like a little bit shorter i hate being bigger than other people and i feel like its more ""excusable"" if im shorter? i grew up being the tall kid and hated it so i feel a lot better about it now since everyones grown

3 not posting thinsp0 cause i dont wanna get t3rmd or be too triggering

4 my greatest fears about weight loss are dying, getting forced into recovery again or institutionalized and just generally my mom finding out

5 the real reason i wanna lose weight is definitely mostly for other people i got over a lot of insecurity when i recovered but fatphobias a bitch and people treated me sm worse constantly than when i was at my lw

6 i dont binge probably bc most of the time theres not a lot of food in the house and ive just never gotten into the habit of it

7 i dont think my parents know? my mom might but if she does she thinks im just exercising again and doing it healthy style

8 i dont really have a workout routine im still trying to get back into working out but i do go on 20 minute runs like 3ish times a week and ive been doing small pinterest cardio workouts like burpees mountain climbers and other basics

9 people have made comments since 2nd grade lol thats a big part of why im back here

10 the hardest thing ive given up during weight loss was happiness honestly. it sounds cheesy but eds literally take over your brain food was the only thing on my mind and recovering was like euphoria with this giant weight (lol) lifted.

11 @lxllx3d is my fav thinsp blog cause i dress alternative and the owner seems cool and has good opinions

12 too many hard boiled eggs my cholesterols crazy and i have bagels pretty often as my main meal

13 lmao

14 my ugw is 120 and losertown says ill reach it sometime this summer or august

15 im not vegan or vegetarian but im hindu so i dont eat cow and feel bad about pigs being smart so i dont eat pig i try to eat as much chicken as i can cause protein is very important for not dying w a restrictive ed

16 i first decided to lose weight when i was 9 i would do these workout apps with my also fucked up friend. i saw a nutritionist (fuck you lady) when i was 11 and she told me to start counting calories on myfitnesspal (fuck you lady fr never tell a child to do that)

17 im an0rexic

18 sunflower seeds and pie are probably my biggest weaknesses (which is usually fine for sunflower seeds except like sodium)

19 the last time i ate fast food was probably like a month or two ago i had like fries and i live across the street from a fosters freeze (its like a dairy queen)

20 i dont really do diets i just set cal goals based on what i think i need/can handle

21 i wear like a us medium in tops and a large in bottoms depending on the store obvs

22 i already said but my lw was 140 and i gained bc i recovered (like professionally like i had a dr and psychiatrist and nutritionist(she sucked))

23 media probably definitely played a role in me thinking being fat was bad or just being aware of it in general but i think it was mostly subconscious

24 pro ana and pro mia are pretty dumb terms to me bc almost nobodys actually promoting it to other people or thinks its good we just want community i usually just say ana community or mia or ed

25 i have purged i cant remember the first time but i do remember one time i was hanging out with my friends at my house and we had rootbeer floats and i took a shower a purged it when they were in the other room which was super lame

26 im most excited to just feel lighter and have people notice again

27 idk how i deal with being around food sometimes i eat it sometimes i dont sometimes i give it to other people

28 a thigh gap would be nice bc chafing in the summer hurts so bad but i dont think its realistic for my body type and cause i still wanna be relatively curvy i def want more of a gap then now though

29 i think my definition of beauty is pretty abstract i find most things beautiful and a lot of it for people depends on actions and personality and little things they do i think beauty is ever evolving and cant really be defined

30 10 facts about me!! im an artist(bunch of different things but a lot of portrait paintings), im a smoker (both), im an ambivert but i act like an extrovert, i like kids, im german and have a really cool last name, im passionate about politics and social justice, im really passionate about the environment (i represent my school in this district wide youth environment thing and im taking ap environmental science), im very bisexual, i love riot grrrl music and subculture stuff, im a theater kid :|

[automatismoateo]

the misogyny in the bible is genuinely mind numbing via /r/atheism

the misogyny in the bible is genuinely mind numbing im in the middle of reading the whole thing (not that I'm trying to make myself believe, in fact I feel the opposite, this only solidified me being an athiest. but id rather get my facts abt the Bible right by knowing what's in it. trust me, not much in this book is mindblowing.) anyway, the misogyny in this book is... genuinely so weird. there are so many parts in this book where women are straight up just referred to as if they are second class citizens, and are only good for pleasing men and making babies. not to mention, there are parts in this book where (probably underage) female prostitutes or slaves most CERTAINLY are described to have some sort of mental illness, but in the bible they're just basically like "man she's def got demons in her, she really needs to find Jesus. what a whore." never mind that she's been forced into slavery and is being forced to do this stuff that they find 'sinful.' 🤦‍♀️ now obviously im aware of the fact that society has always been very anti-women (if you will,) but for a book that is supposed to be always true and relevant, this book is obviously so fucking outdated and lame. and even if you have historical context for some stories, it makes you even more confused. there is literally no explanation besides religion for why women should be treated as if they are second class citizens to men, yet these religious people wanna act as if it the most true shit because it's in their book.. and some of these people want this to be law. it becomes even worse when you realize oftentimes they acknowledge women can be more level-headed and more intelligent than a lot of men, but they just brush it off, because men should always get the last word or whatever. so they want us to prioritize men's word because... "god said so..." a guy who doesn't exist, love that. my worst fear is these christian people coming into power and implementing this crazy shit as law. technically, at christian colleges this is already a thing. you aren't allowed to have certain haircuts, men and women can't be alone, (mind u, these are young adults following these rules..) and at some places women can't get certain degrees. if america became a christian theocracy, not only would these type of rules be implemented in every university, they'd be implemented in everyday life. what's funny is I could guess about 50% of christians who previously thought they would like this would definitely not like it if it happened, especially women. but I guess these people aren't self aware and can't imagine looking into the future and thinking of different scenarios. what a shame. Submitted February 25, 2024 at 12:14AM by nagitosbby (From Reddit https://ift.tt/5Acbhf9)

[celestialjupe]

Girl blogging: 2/25/23 12:05

Literally processing so hard right now dbdbif. i just got out of a rather abusive relationship. I knew it was bad but it didnt hit me how extremely foul it was until i started making a list of everything that has happened. I've definitely been in the wrong too, and i regret the kind of person i became in that relationship. I don't regret it because i feel bad for him, i regret it because i know that's not who i am and i sacrificed a large portion of my sense of self because i didn't want to hurt him. That was so stupid, but honestly, no one is above being in a situation like that, especially when they're young and when it was their first relationship. so, im trying not to be too hard on myself about it, because being hard on myself drove me further into that relationship every single time.

The last year was different than the first three. He did a 180, he started treating me much better, but i couldn't erase the past and i couldn't let go of it and stay with him at the same time. I couldn't erase his actions and i couldn't erase mine either. Also, it's kind of fucked up because he could have been treating me well the whole time. But really, he never changed, he just got more strategic and better at disguising the behavior. I was still considering getting back together with him until two days ago. It's been two weeks since i broke up with him. That list really impacted me because to see how many terrible things he had done, how close together, and how careless he was..wow wakeup call. I don't feel bad anymore, if you have to hurt someone to get them to stop hurting you, so be it. Again, i was also wrong in the relationship, mainly in year three. We were like rabid dogs constantly barking at each other and flashing teeth. Looking back, i think i was valid to fight back, i think it makes sense that i opened up to the people around me. I just wish i would've listened then. I'm grateful for the two girls who sat with me and listened to me. Life is strange. but im happy that part of my life is finally over, and i can move on. I already feel better and look better and overall i am better. Things are clearer. I think i deserve that. I tried my hardest. Especially this last year, so many times i sat awake at night, promising myself I'd try harder to be happy, telling myself it was enough and i just didn't want to accept love. Now i know that we were never in love, and i wasn't wrong to be so confused and agitated.

I don't think there was ever a moment where he truly considered me, but i was selfish for not wanting to live my life like that. What surprised me the most was everyone who was happy to hear the news. I thought everyone loved him, i thought no matter what, they didn't know what was happening behind closed doors and he was charming, so of course they love him. Little did i know, everyone saw through the act. I only ever told two people about what was happening, and i didn't even tell them the full situation. No one else knew because it's honestly so embarrassing, and i wasn't ready to be better. even now im scared, im scared to delete him from my socials, im scared that he wont be able to leave it alone, im scared that he wont take no for an answer and ill have to pay for this. I can't let that fear control me. I have to be ready to face it all, and dive into the void even if im not certain of the outcome. So much time, opportunity, self-respect has passed me by and I've just let it. I can't do that anymore. I deserve to show up for myself, even when its hard. breakups are hard, especially when they're easy.

Through all that fear, there is a spark. There's a part of myself that i have ownership of again, a part of myself i haven't seen in so long. There's relief, there's love, there's a feeling of security. There's this newfound sense of certainty that i am here and I will never let this happen again. There's victory. I've overcome obstacles and I've walked through the darkest parts of myself to do that. I took a tour of the worst possible version of myself, i stayed in the dark for so long and I'm finally on the other side of it all. I am happy and proud to be me, feelings i never thought I'd have for myself again. I have forgiveness in my heart now, i have released so much, I'm not angry at anyone anymore. I feel like i can finally be myself and not compromise that.

so yeah, kind of slaying right now.. thank you for taking the time to read if you did. Don't make the same mistake i did, don't wait, leave leave leave LEAVE!! Be safe, stay hydrated, keep your belly full, and do what's best for you.

[abel-oc]

OK I WANT TO LEARN ABOUT ABEL so im filling in these OC question posts from forever ago. This one from user @/ jovishark (some deleted if non applicable) under cut bcuz there is like 50 !! 

1. Are they happy with their body? 

YEAH he knows hes hot. he would probably want slightly more muscle but def wouldn’t actually do any work to get it. only exercise is walking and fucking 

2. Do they have any secret piercings or tattoos?

his piercings aren’t a secret (ears tounge nips and cock ( frenulum ill draw it eventually)

3. Do they collect anything?

designer shit.. he doesn’t have a lot of space to put things otherwise so mainly clothes and makeup etc. prob a few fancy bags.Not quite like those birkin people on instagram though they are scary ! 

4. What is their favorite music genre?

THIS IS SO HARD prob like jazzy pop ish music?? hes an Italian in the 90s-2000s.. so he would have heard eurodisco.. much to think about. Probably music you can sleazy dance to 

5. What music genre, if any, do they hate the most?

i think ambient music would make him bored!! 

6. What is their phone background/lock screen?

he has like a flip phone. I am making the setting before smartphones because he would be too scary equipped with tinder. so prob a defaulty one or like the kind of all over logo prints on fancy bags

7. What is their shoe size?

well his cock is pretty big i think. thats what we’re really asking isnt it 

8. Do they have a favorite fabric or texture?

leather and silk! 

9. Do they have a favorite professional sport?

i think he hates sports. all of them

10. How do they decorate their living space?

I think he has a really small room so its probably on the minimal / classy spectrum. It’d be mostly clean with nice furniture but I think a lot of his really bougie stuff isn’t on display all the time since I think ppl from the church might go in sometimes 

11. Are they messy, or do they clean up?

room is clean but i think in other peoples spaces he would be MESSY.. just inconsiderate. bitchass

12. What’s their preferred sleeping position?

he would never admit it but little spoon ⭐

13. Did they have a favorite comfort item as a child?

when he was young I dont think he owned much stuff because he was being a nun more properly. maybe some books ?? idk !!! 

14. Do they have a favorite period in history?

He’d like baroque art i think but i dont think he would care as much culturally ! not a history person 

15. Can they cook? What’s their favorite thing to make?

he can prob manage absolute basics but thinks cooking is for losers. He buys all his food! hes a regular at probably like every cafe and restaurant ever

16. What food do they hate eating?

hes probably bad with spicy food! 

18. What was their worst injury?

He probably did too many blood sacrifices on his palms and couldnt pick stuff up for a few days. Has probably happened more than once

21. Can they dance? Do they like to?

HE DEF CAN probably good at like formal party kinda waltzy things. but he can probably do a real good club type sleazy dance and lapdancing. Probably some non advanced pole he probably joins some of Holly’s pole classes which I just decided she goes to

24. What kind of cake or birthday treat would they prefer?

big fancy cake! the kind that has a few macarons on top 

25. What is their favorite animal?

probably cats! 

26. Do they wear perfume/cologne? What is their favorite scent?

wears a LOT i went and tested YSL Y EDP for him and he wears that its perfect. Besides not being out in the correct time period but lets forget that. I like the apple / ginger / pepper on him

27. What smell do they hate the most?

any dirt / filth + cheapass perfume 28. What sound do they hate the most?

probably crying kids / babies.. he would ask them to shut up 😭

29. What video game would appeal to them the best?

HEs not a GAMER... if the DS was out when i think this is set maybe some of the really normie ones like 100 classic books or some animal crossing (holly would play that and make him) 

30. How would they relax on a day off/rainy day?

wake up late, go eat breakfast / lunch at cafe, go shopping for a while, go home and watch some TV, find someone with enough money to take him out to dinner then bang him if he feels like working, then go sneak into the church and summon something to attempt to fuck, then go to sleep alone  

31. Are they combative? What is their fighting style?

would avoid fighting directly but is violent lol, if he needed to he would be all kicks and mindgames, the full gaslight gatekeep flirt with people to make them drop guard 

32. Would they be the one to start an argument?

starts but ALSO has to finish. Thinks he’s always right about everything.

33. What is their personal style? Favorite outfit?

kind of gothic high fashion, mainly black! Shoes always louis’ with the red on the bottom. will NOT wear cheap or even midprice clothes. Does wear nun clothes sometimes mainly for fun / debauchery 

34. Do they have a dream job?

God

35. What do they do if they can’t fall asleep?

wank or just stay up plagued by the Thoughts 

36. Do they wear makeup regularly? If they don’t, would they consider wearing any?

ALWAYS he wears Dior eyeshadow + nars deepthroat and some kind of pencil eyeliner. doesn’t need mascara his eyelashes just like that. Also probably has to conceal bad eyebags. Bad habit of sleeping in makeup even though he detests it for himself 

37. Do they prefer to be really cold or really warm?

cold! hates being sweaty

39. Can they drive? What vehicles are they licensed to operate?

can drive im still picking vehicle maybe a benz or rols royce. but he would have to keep it in Holly’s garage because he doesn’t have one. He probably mainly just walks around though hes a local guy 

40. Do they believe in true love? Have they experienced it?

NO he thinks he is too good for love and doesn't think hes been in love. doesn’t realise he wants it

41. Are they married? Do they want to be?

NO very single. probably wants to get married but from an aesthetic / party / being the center of attention perspective 

42. If they have siblings, do they like any of them? Would they rather be an only child?

has none! but doesn’t want any either i think

43. What do they think is their worst quality? What is their actual worst quality?

He isn’t actually very self aware so he probably thinks hes perfect. This may be his worst quality

44. Do they lie often? Are they good at it?

CONSTANTLY to an art

45. Are they good at keeping secrets?

NO he will tell anyone anything especially if its incriminating or dramatic 

46. How do others see them? How accurate is it to how they really are?

people would have a good first impression since he acts classy and suave and sexy but when you talk to him for more than an evening or two its REALLY clear hes awful to talk to

48. What are they most afraid of?

he thinks nothing but probably getting close to someone 💖 

49. Would they ever kill anybody?

without much of a thought ! he just hasn’t needed to so far. 

THESE R FUN. I MIGHT DO MORE 

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

[pndnj]

Cathartic- Yellow Metal Lyrics

Heres where I am with the lyrics, I referenced @25Goldenn on twitter for some of it that I couldn’t comprehend. 

*music*

0:23

Dark matter, like painted splatters, they fit better, the old saying, the way it goes, better the devil you do then you don’t know. I hit pedals and switch levers, my heart metal, I can't settle, im part trouble, they are not subtle. I fuck good so fuck cuddles, burst bubbles the thrist levels at new heights, i down doubles, and got baked til I felt high, my face puzzled, felt muddled, far strung and your floors woodent, the thought might but the fit wouldn’t. A fortnight

0:46 - 1:00

And I thought right, it’s all bark and no bite, I’m Tony Stark still embarking on a dream, took a bit of time to take darkness from the team. Seen what I saw. Heartless on the sleeve. Tried to burn my wings, so I put them in a piece on my chest , at peace no rest.

1:00-1:15

Flipped this on it’s head. Rip the script up now, flip it don’t pretend, slipping shit again, Fakers all around me, I’ve been living in pretense. Fake friends won’t make amends. There’s no need, these mean comments control the scenes. Attentionseekers, the spine is weakened

1:15-1:24

This family needs, what a family needs, and the planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving til we ascend so fuck the fence, and until they stop killing colour it’s fuck the feds.

1:22 - 1:44

You must be off it, I mean it, you know you ain’t never get with the judging and I used to dread growing my beard too long, never felt I belonged, but it's really long like a minute I ain’t looking to no mans for the limits, They’re feeling timid, I’m telling them who they mimic, why they don't look like a clinic …. Why they don't get no women, Still, we’re just fucking girls, Lost in the wrong world, Jurassic, now to this vermin

1:41-  1: 50

Kicking the game I’m serving, these losers are never learning, my fire is forever burning, adding it to my fuel, seems like I’m always focused on never becoming you, These locals that rob us feeling … was for a reason.

1:52-2:02

I’m seeing my new beginnings, watch out this loser’s winning, and no water is too deep to swim in Like I’m about to see a killing, I’m all the way that and living, flawless and feeling lawless, the prison now to the gimmicks, my vision is set to something,

2:03-:2:20

I’m watching you bitches plummet, no matches here for my cunning, you rappers are feeling done in, switching your genre, running and Running your jaw, stunting, pulling at straws, something  I think you’re a poor effort, deaf and tone deaf and I ain’t treat you separate. Living, I’m in my element, riding it like a … never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a benadryl. Keeping it green in general

2:20- 2:46

Think that you remain irrelevant. Look at yourself with reverence, hoping to always elevate. Celibate of these thoughts, killing themselves with sedatives. In comparison to eminem, you’re feeling feminine. Impolitically correct, still dropping on my dick. And I never gave a fuck about what they say abt my shit, I’ve been moving things in my mind like it’s this mountain dew Memories have made me wonder if one day I’m after you. What’s the purpose that you do, is what you're hoping that they learn, i’d like to say i’m done but it’s getting up on my nerves

2:46 -2:55

I’m looking at my life, saying what do I deserve. It’s hard to say I know when I’m walking through the dirt. Talking while you’re nothing I can see for what it’s worth. I’m tired of feeling hurt and I’ve tried enough but nothing works.

2:55-3:40

I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work. Chit chatting is the usual, talking to this clerk, i beg you don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt so everytime they see me, the oldest know to swerve. SWERVE Life is potent, bits of fucked shit… till they took notice weren’t  no hocus pocus, it was hard work that got me heard so i put in the graph like google maps but the whole earth

… around my door mat, taking over like the drones, rolling dirt up in miles like the water, and exploding like Annas hematoma. Don't need to see a slammer to know that I don't want to go man

I’m a showman. I’m just focused on the drama… like i’ve got my own insurance, show myself the pain, like i boxed it in the frame, if we’re about to talk greatness im great, the way you have to say my name like beyonce

“Say my name”

4:00-4:46

Just a bum with a cigarette, sun coming up, all my thoughts on the internet. Feeling deep, I’m just bored with the silhouette single sec,  get fucked up for the thrill of it . killer streak playing Pacman. Like I came from the Philippines vanilla bean still a thing for the thrill of scene,

Theres a beam, UFO, Leave it well alone  I aint moving, stood still on the peloton, telephone and its always on the dial tone,  it's been a while since i’ve smiled at a milestone, seen a big pile in my mind stone, me against the world on my Jack Jones, Like I’m John Jones, With pictures in the condo, far from John Doe, in the ___, like I'm Johnny Bravo, got pravado, with a small dick sitting in golados, feeling far gone, cuz that last hit was the good shit, was that stay lit

4:48-5:02

You can never take my shit come and get me. On the top floor,  cloud 9, fading, never bailing, felt amazing, inhaling, til my lungs two guns blazing. Overcome all the stunts that I pulled. A suit of just skin and then wool

5:02- 5:17

This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm ya. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here till they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80, and start moving like a ruler, ?damaged? Like a computer going fast, bars from the jeweler, bring the songs to the beach in hopes of finding tuna

5:18-5:36

…

5:36- 6:16

Grab a bat, lose my rag. Couple things got me mad, a couple people got me wrong and now I’m changing up the swag. Coming in and stealing it, I might take the whole bag. Feeling undefeated, I’m a beast with a reason, and imma lead the whole pack. Fearless like I’m Caesar, I’m just waiting for a chance to fill it up with diesel, and all I've been achieving is clocking miles in its region, moving like a legion.

Promise that I made to myself an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving, staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving.

I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy, it’s time I grew up,  a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on a mike.

6:16-6:32

I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane. The truth is on my medicine, can’t put that on your plate.

Speeding into everything, bout time I fixed the brakes. Don’t say I can’t communicate , you know I conversate with you in several different ways. And I know you know it’s references, looking at your face.

6:33- 6:53

Can’t justify mistakes, like every man that made them, seems I ain't  the one to blame. Lying to myself, only had so much to gain, so now I’m switching up the plate, see if that affects the place, im at on most days

I ain’t going with the usual so they looking at me strange. Confused, I can feel it all,  I’m here to make a change. It’s cold at 3am outside, I’m walking with the dog, thanking god that you don’t talk at all, my mind is switching off

6:54-7:12

Driving down to find myself, cuz I’ve been getting lost, lived this selfless life and found I can give a toss. Lessons that I’ve learned I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself.

So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt. Like burning toy soldiers that used to go up on the shelf. Recycle the ideas, conveying on the belt

7:14-7:29

.. circus, always hurting the way we felt? Embarrassed that we dreamt of bigger things and letting go of notions till we feel them in cement

Tired of only hoping, we feel broken men. Cuz the gravity is weight and has kept us to the ground, see the only people speaking with favors in their mouths

7:46-7:58

Got killer rhymes… no fillers, like godzilla, eating clouds cuz my smokes thicker, throat licker, my dope sicker, bringing people their hope like im the pope slicker,  i hope you’re getting the point cuz i walk quicker

I thought my city was shit bcs I want bigger like my zipper couldn’t zip up fed up with the…my love is fickle.. Residual age has a primitive face

I see demise for your limited ways, Left it to simmer, simmer away…a fake glimmer in the haze

8:09-8:11

Feeling trapped this industry is a cage

8:34-8:50

Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views, while they’ve been sat in their chairs, I’m feeling pressure to choose.

Standing here as one man, how can I do half when you’re half the person I am. If it wasn’t in your life, you didn’t choose it. It’s the funny thing about music. It’s the pain and beauty of it.

8:52-9:11

Don’t give a fuck what my suit is, it looks good so I wear it, better than the shoot that People’s wearing, changing the whole narrative for these basics and scarcity

Been facing the racists from back when i were a kiddie .born up in in 93’. been living in Bradford City..kicked me out of the schools, they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p*** still sitting in the classroom chilling, and i'm angry now that I’m older I see they treat us different

9:12-9:25

got me thinking I’m the problem cuz they never dealt with those issues.

20 years later I’m still in the same boat, tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for, man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil, when they got me by the throat

9:25-9:35

Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them

‘Boy your skin is so light’, ok motherfucker take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.

9:35-9:45

I don’t know how that’s acceptable, when life is more susceptible to perception, be the death of them. I’ve been looking at the sky saying where’s that day of reckoning, you had your prophets right when they say that you would speak to them.

9:45-9:55

I need justice in this life and I trust that it’s my fight, cuz when I’m writing it feels right to have them focused on the facts again. Focused on the rap again, hoping for the change, gunna put this on the map again

9:55-10:16

Writing in all caps again, the pain, it goes through me so I write the letter. All the shit that could have brought me but made me better.

I’m at home with a pain in my soul , yeh rap… cuz you know I was too real to contest it, my time was invested. Now I look at the industry, I see it infested, looking like kids who would write on nesquik.

10:17-10:29

My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.

I ain’t never gave a fuck about these jokers and jesters. Ain’t no answers for these things, so just save us the questions, man allowed of violence, cuz my silence is deafening, your opinion stinks, somebody get him a breath mint.

10:30- 10:42

Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening, I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine Now they all wanna hear me, got a table at letterman. Direction changed, like I changed up the lettering. Don’t believe the age ,bcs I move like a veteran.

10:42 - 10:47

Raised on the benefit for whose benefit, they’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.

…no words coming out when you open your mouth

And to be honest, it’s insulting, offensive to my wounds that have been salting. Tryna ask me questions that they know I never answer. I’d rather sit online and reply to the fan art

11:00-11:06

Fuck a sports car, coming through when i rapped

tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor

11:06- 11:17

Fake life, 'sup online, suck a fat one. You don’t wanna buy into that, none of that son. Sitting in the garden 98’ in the Datsun,  seen some hot summers but I still remember that sun.

*music*

11:51- 12:34

I make millions off of my pain, cause I know a few millions still living that way

Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause i hit the nerve. Only way that the sheep learn if the street firm, in my ways I don’t wanna change, everything just stay the same

Who you tryna convince you understand, cant maintain, let the lights dim some,  get the Chow Mein, flex, get the tape, right up at night

Why these men be nice to my face, be nice,  i ain’t tryna be a gangsta ruins my vibe

Rather be low-key and on my phone. Never need the trophy or the show piece

Never show peace in a North Face fleece. Show kids this like i wrote my flip

Cause the sign might fit till the start i’m sick

12:37-13:05

Now you see where I come from, the world don’t. Only achievement in this life is the Jordans. Committing petty crimes out of boredom, we can’t afford them. So I stole it, need a rolex

Go make sense, get yourself a job, It’s a poor man’s game tryna sit and pray to god, he ain’t sorting out your problems, gotta sort them out yourself

Used to tell us fables, now I’m writing them myself, Cause we raw like animals we all just need some help

Cathartic, I’m an artist, trying to put my heart in

Felt double crossed like Leo in Departed

13:05- 13:27

For the knowledge i’m not charging see I got it all free

But my hunger kept me starving like i’m feening for the feed

I just Need a reason to see me bleeding for my creed. Trick you with the words like I keep em up my sleeve. Picking where I fit, I see me sitting with the queen

I ain’t doing it unless you’re used to saying please

Let me flow a bit, before I sting 'em with the bees, They tryna kill us with disease

(Music)

13:34- 14:12

Why does it feel like they had the same notebook and the same four looks

Like the rain won't touch on their face, so sus when they lie don’t trust not a minor

Please no fuss, I just move through the game like must

Something in the way i adjust till i stick, Free falling like the ship, free fall till i bust

Remember 21 brother gave no fucks. Trying to project when they give them looks

In the projects, in the objects us

In my own way, never gave me love, shoulda never started this, broken hearted kid

Dried up the feeling till I stole the lid

Don’t wanna relish in the fame but I can’t resist

14:46-14:58

I like the way we feel, I like the way, I like the way

Ain’t no mistake, i am a being

I ain’t tryna be a leader, been selling out since Jesus

All my rhymes are for the readers, between the lines, like Father time, I fuck Mother Nature

14:58-15:40

That’s what they get, the connotations. Tell 'em I lived a life, and then I lived a life of adjacent? like its…. and played it patient.

Alone on my own spaceship, always tryna find greatness, still defying lines, but I’m fighting in my prime.

Shining light like Kylo while imma kill it all the time. Aging like I’m wine

Asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define. Focused on defiance, imma fight it while it’s life.

Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next, just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around til I’m the best

Speaking in full sentences, shoulda thought about a strategy before you went at the stratosphere about this… rings around Saturn, this ain’t a battle, I’m sat, I’m here

15:40-16:22

Catch me doing magic, hired and sounding tragic I think you could use practice and until that you get the blacklist and pull like a … actress? Fooling them like a catfish, schooling like a legend, happy to be the reference, fusing like iridescence, leaving them all guessing, leaking out of my brain like a pipe I aint fixing, shining like a star you can see it from a distance

Aint many of me around p*** I’m just different Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto, clean up like Im Dettol

I’m the man to put a bet on, sight smart like a weapon,  this is my kind of setting, i write the world I’m sat in, while these others live on hype, i see them fight in how they type, the fruit is ripe for the taking, i think i might

16:22-16:57

Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here

16:58- 17:47

Eccentric things are mentioned like a kid stuck in detention tryna escape im just spitting what is written on the next page, spitting image of my dad in his young days

Born sinner when i’m livid i say fucks sake

Don’t worry i’m too cunning with no plumbing, the waterworks, i sung something that resonates, i thought it first like giving birth to the parrot perch

They see me do it and they know it works

Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse

You’ll be nervous, you don’t deserve it we’ll scratch the surface ill leave a crater, lift the dirt up to find the hurting

Can’t know for certain nothing is guaranteed, tryna be a better person than the world deserves to see cuz i see a lot of sharks still swimming in the sea

Cease and arrest what’s the reason.. And these the kinda kids we bringing up next

Distorted reality, all they needed was family, too hard to face, to see what the damage is

17:47

*i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, *

18:04-18:38

Sometimes they ask the questions too deep to form a sentence, to disform, is this the norm, is this the sentence i feel defenseless i played the setlist, and all my sweat blood and tears, forgot to mention feeling lost, going off into different sections i feel like love wrecked it

If it’s not a drug why am i waiting for the next fix, affected, i cant believe that you left this

I guess I leave for the best wish, moving on like im fine for the lectures

We see it all from spectrums, cuz if we’re falling down we can fall down together

Staircase to heaven, mirror down the middle like 11, resentment on one side it won’t settle

18:38- 19:14

Mind fried but taking sense, they aint got a sense of themselves in the rich ends

Need to spell it out for them.. Made for them so witness

I know you feel afflicted but you always love it with me while im laughing at you, ya think you’re laughing with me

I try to (i love you) but im grown so they don’t fit me, my body thrown from the new to this old city so Im sick of sitting on my own, feeling so shitty, i’ve been on roads where its cold and the snow hitting

Its okay to be yourself, sit and talking to myself

I’ve been walking for the longest, just need a little rest, know i ain’t the strongest, I can feel it in my chest, talking about my feelings and of me, they get the best

19:14-19:59

They aint leaving, seeing breathing in my breath

Till death do us part is just seeded in my heart, like a work of art

Never winning,im just scared

Cant begin from the start, do i play a part in the rhythm of the night

I guess i’m onto something cuz the dark is feeling right

Every cloud got a lining, put my own miles  in, like moralis, figured that they’re jealous, that they could just never tell us to change because the weather never made me question whether or not i’m not that level

Got rid of all the bullshit sitting in my way, most of them are full of shit i see it every day

I do hearing the same things that i do, maybe that shits hitting like haiku

How much do you pay for them to hype you

Recycle your flaws but they aint like new, leaving and conceded and full of diesel like engines that need a cleaning, the ending will be revealing. Even though we ain’t raising the facts, now we been facing.

20:01-20:52

The cactus with spikes, needing spaces. Different faces, the same story. A full body like straight body direct to your system.

Could never tell 'em we missed’ em. Not even with the thoughts, we gift them. Cuz they just take advantage, guess we are caught in a system.

My soul pouring out details of borrowed time, had enough of a fill, this is for sorrow time. I’m seeing visions of Heaven, I seen the severed line, between the gospel they speak and when theyre telling lies.

Remember telling a friend of mine, you’d sent of mine, identified like a 3rd eye. Got a habit of knowing now where the dirt lies. So benign. I ain’t sober after 9, so I fuck their minds. Why you flipping out, see another

Try to rep it from the city, fuck a chiller crew, repping for the nittys, trying to keep us down, raised on the social, don’t want to let us out of the system. Me, I insist we assist them, me alone putting shifts til I lift them

20:53-21:12

I know it’s hard, that’s why I like it, I’m fit to fight it, I’m from the North, I’m backing Tyson, it’s been decided, don’t see no light. They needing guiding, just redefining, realizing, I’m realigning, in full finance, they stay silenced.

Can’t be louder, I’m juiced up with no powder. I fix shit like a slick spanner. Gone green like Bruce Banner. So free Gaza on my banner

21:12-21:51

The real McCoy, I ain’t nothing to toy with, signifying peace like a Japanese Koi Fish. How did this happen, we’re moving backwards in our timeline, killing us with cyanide, Right up for the freedom 'til we transform like Ironhide

This is bout my feelings, the way that I move affects the fate that I’m sealing. Can’t say nothing, with that something being on the page, kept inside the pen like the bars that have been kept caged. See I always had a plan, since I was young, we had nothing man

Now it’s been a few years since I ain’t seen the fam, on foreign lands. Bout to climb Everest in the avalanche. Right into the riddles as soon as you were born. Never asking the question cuz it’s the norm. See I’m in a questionin’ session

21:52-22:03

Like the manner got a method to teaching a lesson, listen to MF Doom, he taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten. Still we play cartoons so it’s never forgotten.

22:03-22:15

Chilling at the top but we came from the bottom. Writing and jottin for them life by, spotting the difference

*Dreams, was growing out of me, sun promising that tomorrow it will rise, time playing games with my mind, I swear it will pass us by

Train goes on the tracks, smoke, I’m tired to hide my thoughts, so blinded in flames, Don’t know where we’re going, I have no way of knowing, only see what’s in my head

Can’t we wait a minute, so we can savour this, It’s on my brain again, these days, It on my brain again these days”

23:10-23:46

They’re hating on Palestine ways, The oh no Palace playing Prince on the Steinway, Sending out mind waves, stop them like crimewaves, Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name

Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing

We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route, say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown

I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.. Done ain’t it, Shit just gets me vexed, and now I’m sitting that I think of it

23:45-23:59

Feeling on the brink of it, whatever it is, Figure out some shit at least it feels that way

talk about my feelings and I don’t feel so strange, finding solace, that’s a promise, in Metropolis but being honest, can’t write a sonnet, without some pain

24:00-24:40

Can’t fade away, away so we can savour this, been on my brain again these days

Can't find a way to be so you can savour this, been on my brain these days

Singing the song for another, singing a song for another