#37+ drafts... fuck it we ball

[impishsensei-a]

ok ok i'm embarrassingly sad still but i swear i'm gonna work on some replies tonight. hey everyone <;3

[justworthlessreblogs]

waffleverse: full bibury fic author's notes

this fic is so long and i had so many writing decisions/notes i wanted to talk about that they couldn't all fit in ao3's 5000 character limit. so i figured i might as well put them here. they'll be under a cut to prevent any accidental spoilers!

writing notes:

- first off this fic drove me CRAZY. another one of its nicknames was “the frankenfic” because i really did feel like i had 3 fics i was shoving into one. and it also took on a life of its own. every day i wake up and scold myself for deciding that covering 33-40 was a good idea. it was not helped by me not having many strong feelings about any of the episodes in that set, which led to me feeling really bored when writing them, and then in the last month of writing i said “fuck it, we ball” and started just making up shit. i also remembered Hey I Made Bibury Try To Kill Rio Back In May I Should Do Something About That. so you get bibury backstory! plus i was sad that they never explore her’s and rio’s time working under noir in canon aside from like. one scene in episode 18

- rio is trying his best to be better at emotions but it is definitely an uphill battle and not linear. the other cures meant well by accepting bibury so easily - after all, it didn’t really work out that great when they were constantly suspicious of him - but he didn’t see it the same way they did. in his eyes bibury was getting away with everything even though she did similar things to him. this was inspired by how the show itself does not seem to ever hold bibury accountable (at least as of where i’m at) but makes it very clear that rio needed to do something to make up for what he did (which i am fine with! this is not a “omg poor rio he was so hated by the writers” moment. i just found it interesting and thought i could explore it)

- episode 37 was the reason for like. nearly all of my original writer's block. it almost got cut, but in the end 34 got the chopping block instead because i felt that bibury didn't really have a justification to be there and 36 got basically entirely cut because i thought it was boring. plus 37 was just… too important to not acknowledge unfortunately. i still definitely want to write a waffleverse version of 34, though, i just think it’d work better on its own! which is why i summarized it here. i had the entire thing written out and saved it, so the original version will probably get uploaded to spice of life someday

- rio being like “i am so mad at my sister. however she is upset so i will make her waffles” was very funny to me. the duality of rio kuroki

- i left the bib & rio talk at the end open-ended, since i had so many things they could have possibly discussed that i couldn’t fit them all in naturally no matter how hard i tried. so let your imaginations go wild lol. however i guess i do have to thank that original draft of their conversation since it was the thing that finally, finally, made me figure out what i wanted from this fic - exploring not just bibury, but bibury and rio. this fic was originally a lot more ciel-heavy than what the final product ended up being, and frankly bib & rio didn’t interact much at all, and i wasn’t able to get to the bottom of why they still hated each other until i remembered. hey. attempted murder

- you are all so lucky that i ended up incorporating 26 into this fic because the original plan was for the scenes that changed to be stuck into spice of life when i got around to writing them someday. the mcu-ification of waffleverse is defeated for another day

- no fantastic animale because i really dislike those super forms and the attack. this is one of two times i have actively disregarded canon, i usually try to stick as close to canon events as possible (which is why the crystal animals are in this. you have no idea how badly i wanted to cut them). fantastic animale is Just That Bad. this was literally the first thing i decided after i started planning this fic. so animal-go-round is powerful enough in this ‘verse. just roll with it please

- no "do sweets bring sadness?" dilemma here because i didn't vibe with that part of the episode. i was looking forward to bibury shenanigans :( the crystal animals are just cielbib shippers /j

- if the writing seems disjointed i apologize it's because this thing was written on and off over a period of 3 months and is also super long

- i had so much fun writing the bathroom scene. finally allowing myself silly rights. the flashback scenes were also really enjoyable

- i messed with the yukari v. kirarin fight because i was a little disappointed with how it played out in canon. yukari tells everyone right away here because she had a Realization because of part 4. kirarin is more resistant than the average fairy to diable in this universe but not fully immune

- RIO FINALLY GETS TO SAY FUCK WOOHOO i've waited so long for this. also bibury is definitely a character who would cuss if the show's rating wasn't the japanese equivalent of tv-y7 so i was a little looser here

- you all know it in your hearts that aoi was 100% a vine kid. also there was no way i was letting that joke slip past me

- did the math and i'm preeettty sure that rio's age in the prologue section checks out with the waffleverse timeline? when i started this series i was under the impression that rio had been gone for way longer than what the series ended up implying, and so in waffleverse i decided he was gone for about a year. he's 12-about-to-turn-13 in the prologue and 14 in the present (his & ciel’s birthday was shortly after part 4!)

-bib starts calling him rio pretty quickly because a) she may have been evil, but she respects people's preferred name choices and b) yukari already had an arc about realizing how he's not julio anymore and i really didn't want to write that same arc a second time!

- waffle’s secondary attack finally shows up!!! waffle protége my beloved. giving him some sort of barrier just Felt Right (and waffles are the perfect shape for it). i like to think he can split it apart and use it offensively a la rosetta reflection. it was originally supposed to show up in 34 (which got cut) then in 37 (then i cut the battle from the episode since it felt very forced) and then i worried i wouldn’t be able to fit it in at all but got the opportunity with the climax rewrite

- in regard to bib's aging i'm going with "noir's presence slowed down her aging a lot somehow, so she may be chronologically 106 or so, but in all other aspects she's around 13-14 and will now start aging normally again". the same would've happened to rio had he stayed with noir longer. insert noir child labor joke here

- hey remember that time noir tried to take rio back!? i guess 40 kinda busted that for canon by establishing he sees them all as expendable but in my defense while i was writing part 3 i saw it more as a twilight-dyspear situation. and then i ran with that. at this point i’m just gonna have to accept that waffleverse isn’t purely canon divergence any more thanks to me writing it as i watch the show, which leads to the show debunking things from earlier parts 

- was a bit disappointed that the great fairy meeting episode didn't really involve, well, a meeting. so they actually get some time to talk strategy here! i'm so sad the technological limitations of ichigoyama meant that i couldn't have waffle give a powerpoint presentation on noir like i wanted to. it would've been so funny. maybe i'll make it for fun someday

- yeah i messed with episode 40 like. a lot. sorry. it's just how it ended up working out tbh. i actually debated back and forth for literal months on if i should give bib a "canon cure waffle" moment or not, and nearly did it, but decided against it because in the end it just didn't feel quite right for a multitude of reasons. so you were going to get fairy combat and then bib yelling at grave instead. and then that got rewritten once i decided i wanted to expand more on why rio & bib are so antagonistic to each other. you can still see traces of the original climax though in ciel showing up with the fairies, as well as the part where bib confronts grave! bib also originally wasn’t supposed to be dragged into the town with them, she was gonna stay on the mountain and then venture down with ciel and the fairies. but rio said Nope She’s Coming With Us once the fic's course changed direction

- my beta enabled me on the "bibury hasn't slept in an actual bed in a century" thing. i originally sent it to him as a joke. he told me to go ahead with it. but let's be real noir would do something fucked up like that

- let waffle fight the townspeople 2k23. this is the other time i actively disregarded canon in the fic idc what it says He Would Do It

- bibury’s verbal beatdown of grave was inspired by her canon one in episode 40

- ciel & bib's relationship isn't gonna progress past "mutual crush" at any point in waffleverse simply because i cannot write romance sorry. rest assured it blossoms into a beautiful love story. they get married on the island where they met properly for the first time. rio is ciel's best man

- i came to the realization that a lot of my decisions regarding this fic were along the lines of "fuck canon". idk what that means

[goldenraeofsun]

‘cause right now you're mine

set in this verse

THURSDAY, APRIL 2nd

Dean 12:01 You didn’t tell me you led Carver Prep’s quiz bowl team???

Castiel 12:15 It’s in the middle of the school day and you’re texting. What kind of example are you setting for your students?

Castiel 12:16 I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t relevant.

Dean 12:17 Haha smartass I’m having lunch in my office Youre texting me back so i see right through you And of course it’s freaking relevant

Castiel 12:20 How?

Dean 12:21 Because I got tapped to coach Edlund High's quiz bowl team this morning!

Castiel 12:21 Oh no.

Dean 12:30 Oh no is right buddy

Castiel 12:37 I thought you coached the softball team.

Dean 12:37 I can do both You’re dating a very talented man

Castiel 12:49 I know that. I just didn’t know it extended to quiz bowls and softball in addition to blow jobs and breaking and entering places to give blow jobs.

Dean 12:52 What the fuck is wrong with you I’m in school! My lunch hour is almost over I’ll have to get up from my desk very soon This is all your fault

Castiel 12:59 :)

Dean 1:00 Just for that No blow jobs for you tonight

Castiel 1:07 :(

 MONDAY, APRIL 6th

Dean 11:55 I bet I can grade more midterms than you today

Castiel 11:58 I know better than to make bets with you, Dean Winchester.

Dean 12:03 It was just a kiss I bet you’re just pissed you lost

Castiel 12:04 I can’t engage in PDA in front of my niece and one of my students at a school event!

Dean 12:04 Youre such a prude

Castiel 12:06 Unlike some teachers, I maintain boundaries between my personal and professional life.

Dean 12:07 Prude.

Castiel 12:09 Did you text me on a Monday afternoon just to harass me about my reluctance to kiss my boyfriend in front of minors?

Dean 12:11 Huh Boyfriend

Castiel 12:20 Dean?

Dean 12:21 What?

Castiel 12:22 Is everything okay?

Dean 12:23 Other than *my boyfriend* refusing to even entertain the idea of a friendly wager?

Castiel 12:23 Yes, other than that.

Dean 12:23 No

Castiel 12:25 That’s good. You scared me for a second.

Dean 12:26 I did?

Castiel 12:26 Are you okay with being my boyfriend? The long gap between our messages made me realize we haven’t talked about it before.

Dean 12:27 I mean it’s a little weird My 16 year old students have boyfriends “boyfriend” seems a little I don’t know Juvenile We’re not 16 anymore, Cas Thank god.

Castiel 12:30 Would you prefer “partner”?

Castiel 12:31 It’s just whenever I hear someone call their significant other “partner” I can never tell if they are talking about their life partner, same-sex partner, police partner, or if they are cowboys. That was a joke! Ignore this. I remember how much you like Westerns. “Partners” is off the table.

Dean 12:31 HOWDY YALL THIS IS MY PARTNER CAS

Castiel 12:31 Please never introduce me to someone like this.

Dean 12:32 Only if you watch Tombstone with me tonight

Castiel 12:33 Can I still grade my midterms?

Dean 12:35 You’re killing me here Cas Yes

Castiel 12:40 I’m your huckleberry

 SUNDAY, APRIL 12th

Castiel 2:19 Good luck with the softball game today!

Dean 2:21 You’d better make it up for me for missing this one Its the semifinals

Castiel 2:22 I will. Say “hi” to Claire for me.

Dean 2:27 What the hell? Why is she here? We’re not even playing Carver

Castiel 2:29 She has a crush on Kaia Nieves

Dean 2:30 Ohhhhh That explains a lot

Castiel 2:30 She thinks she’s being subtle.

Dean 2:37 I see that runs in the family Subtle as a brick wall. All of you.

Castiel 2:38 Excuse me, you had no idea about my feelings for you back in high school.

Dean 2:49 So? Charlie said you were obvious as fuck But it didn’t matter since I was a dumbass

Castiel 2:50 I prefer oblivious Less dumb Less ass

Dean 2:57 How dare you My ass is a goddamn gift. You take that back right now

Castiel 2:59 Of course. Don’t you have a game to coach?

Dean 3:01 Shit you’re right

 TUESDAY, APRIL 14th

Castiel 11:18 I know how I can make up for missing that last softball game last weekend

Dean 12:01 Sorry The kids called me out for texting you 5 mins before the bell last time How the hell did i get stuck with a class full of narcs

Castiel 12:03 It’s probably karma For all the rule breaking you did in school

Dean 12:05 Hey I wasn’t that bad

Castiel 12:05 You frequently defaced school desks and returned library books after their due date.

Dean 12:06 I’m dating a narc too???

Castiel 12:07 You didn’t ask what I have planned.

Dean 12:07 OK i’ll bite What do you have planned babe? Please tell me it’s not another documentary on bees That was depressing The grand canyon one was cool though

Castiel 12:10 Speaking of narcs

Dean 12:10 This doesn’t sound good

Castiel 12:11 When I had to get my extra copy of Camus from my car, I stumbled on Miriam at the edge of the parking lot with a few more students. They were skipping class and smoking marijuana. Naturally, I reported them to the administration.

Dean 12:13 Not helping your not-a-narc case

Castiel 12:13 They received detention for skipping class.

Dean 12:13 And the drugs?

Castiel 12:13 I may have neglected to report the drug use.

Dean 12:14 Seriously?

Castiel 12:14 I still confiscated it. Research evidence shows marijuana has negative effects on the developing brain.

Dean 12:14 I guess that’s fair

Dean 12:15 Hang on Do you still have it? OUR brains are old as balls Seriously, are you telling me you have weed now?

Castiel 12:15 Surprise?  I can throw it out if you’d prefer to do something else tonight.

Dean 12:15 Dont you dare!!! I’m going to get a six pack on the way home, download the last Star Wars, and we’re gonna do this right Your place or mine?

Castiel 12:16 I have been neglecting laundry lately. Yours?

Dean 12:16 You’re on This is going to be so awesome

 WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15th

Dean 12:06 Did you really mean to invite me to dinner with your brother?

Castiel 12:09 I didn’t mean to bring it up when we were high, but the invitation still stands. Claire told him we were together. He wants to meet you.

Dean 12:11 Oh

Castiel 12:11 You do not have to say yes.

Dean 12:13 I’ll go It just took me by surprise

Castiel 12:13 I don’t want to pressure you.

Dean 12:14 Youre not pressuring me

Castiel 12:14 Are you sure?

Dean 12:16 Look, I just know your relationship with your brother is complicated And I don’t want to stick my foot in it By accident or some other way

Castiel 12:20 We’re in a better place than I’d like to admit. I spent a long time resenting Jimmy for the time he had with Father. But it wasn’t his fault Father was a bastard who had a second family he preferred to be with. Jimmy was barely in middle school when Father started going on his “business trips”

Dean 12:21 Jesus christ You told me bit about it back in high school But I didn’t realize it was a second family situation

Castiel 12:21 Mother kept it from us for years. I still haven’t forgiven her for it.

Dean 12:21 Are you OK?

Castiel 12:22 I’m fine. It was a long time ago.

Dean 12:22 That stuff takes a long time to get over.

Castiel 12:22 I suppose.

Dean 12:23 Is it okay if you stay at mine tonight?

Castiel 12:24 Our next date isn’t until Friday

Dean 12:24 I don’t want to wait until Friday to see you

Castiel 12:27 Can you pick me up at Carver at 4pm?

Dean 12:27 You got it More time with you and my baby Win-win!

 FRIDAY, APRIL 24th

Dean 11:51 Are you sure what I usually wear to school is OK?

Castiel 11:53 You texted me nine minutes early?

Dean 11:53 Shut up I had to bribe my kids For NINE extra minutes Friggin tyrants

Castiel 11:54 What did they extort from you?

Dean 11:54 I promised to throw out their lowest pop quiz grade

Castiel 11:54 That isn’t too bad.

Dean 11:54 I was already planning on doing it

Castiel 11:55 Clever of you.

Dean 11:56 You’re not just dating a pretty face But getting back to dinner with your brother Is a regular button up OK? The tie hides most of the sloppy joe stain

Castiel 11:56 I’m sure you look very handsome

Dean 11:57 I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not

Castiel 11:57 I rarely manage sarcasm in-person. What makes you think I would attempt it over text?

Dean 11:58 Good point

Castiel 11:58 You’re a very good-looking man, Dean. I’ve known this since we were 15.

Dean 11:59 Stop it you’re making me blush

Castiel 12:01 It’s the truth.

Dean 12:04 Alright, alright I’m already sleeping with you No need to butter me up

Dean 12:05 It’s just I remember how you used to talk about him The perfect big brother

Castiel 12:07 More like the perfect student and perfect son. Jimmy was honestly too busy to be much of a brother. The 11 year age difference didn’t help. When I was in high school, he already had the perfect nuclear family on the way.

Dean 12:07 Exactly

Castiel 12:08 Exactly what?

Dean 12:08 You’re lucky I know you And I know you’re not drawing this out on purpose Look, i want to make a good impression, OK? he seems like a hard guy to please.

Castiel 12:09 I That’s very admirable of you, but it’s entirely unnecessary.

Dean 12:10 He’s your family

Castiel 12:11 And I understand family is very important to you, but it isn’t the same with me. It would be very nice if dinner goes well, but if it does not, I will not care in the slightest.

Dean 12:11 Really?

Castiel 12:11 Truly.

 SATURDAY, APRIL 25th

11:16 I’m sorry for my dad.

Dean 11:17 Who is this? 

11:20 Claire Novak

Dean 11:21 How did you get this number?

Claire 11:23 Alex Jones

Dean 11:24 How did Alex get my number???

Claire 11:24 It was on the softball permission forms How did you not know this Didn’t you draft them?

Dean 11:25 It’s been a while I’m a very busy man

Claire 11:25 Sure. Anyway, my dad was a dick.  Totally out of line last night

Dean 11:26 Shouldn’t you be texting Cas about this?

Claire 11:26 I don’t have his number

Dean 11:26 Cas wasn’t kidding when he said you guys weren’t close

Claire 11:27 Nope.

Dean 11:27 Well I am very close with my brother He’s a lawyer out in California

Claire 11:27 Good for you???

Dean 11:29 It doesn’t sit right with me that Cas doesn't have a real relationship with his family

Claire 11:31 That seems like Uncle Castiels business

Dean 11:33 But Jimmy isn’t Cas’s only family SO if you ever need a place to crash, i’m always available

Claire 11:35 Maybe my dad was right And you’re secretly a perv I’m not staying with you you freak

Dean 11:35 Jesus christ, I’m trying to say, if ALEX isn’t the only girl on Edlund's softball team you’re getting buddy-buddy with, it’s fine You should get a chance to explore that part of being a teenager While STAYING SAFE But don’t let your parents stand in the way of that side of your life

Claire 11:41 Dad wouldn’t kick me out

Dean 11:42 Maybe not. But if you are at all uncomfortable, just give cas a call I’ll forward you his contact info now

 “I might have told Claire she’s always welcome at my place if she comes out to her parents,” Dean says as he pockets his phone. He turns his back on the pile of sparkling clean dishes drying on the rack by Cas's sink. Dean adds, “Hopefully she’ll ask you before she goes to me.”

They hadn't really discussed the disaster of a dinner with Jimmy and Claire. A few tense words on the drive back to Cas's house, a tacit acknowledgement in the morning not to mention it until after coffee and breakfast. But then Cas brought out his homework for the weekend, even while last night's argument scratches at the back of his mind like a fly trapped in a windowless room. So Dean did the dishes and texted Claire.

Cas looks up from his juniors’ final exams. “You were talking to Claire?”

“She texted me first,” Dean says defensively.

Cas sighs and caps his pen. It’s blue, because red pen, according to Cas, is too traumatizing a grading implement. “I’m very sorry about last night.”

Dean waves his apology off. “You warned me it could go sideways.”

Cas’s brow furrows. “Still,” he says slowly, “I told my mother and Jimmy I was gay a few years ago. I think it was easy for them to ignore it as long as I didn’t have a boyfriend in the picture.”

Dean fiddles with a dishrag as he hovers by the sink. “Was Jimmy a jackass to your other boyfriends?”

“What others?” Cas asks wryly. “None of them were ever serious enough to pique Jimmy’s interest.”

“Really?”

Cas nods and gestures for Dean to take a seat at the kitchen table next to him. He holds out his hand, which Dean takes, bemused. “I don’t know why Jimmy thought religion was an appropriate introductory dinner topic. I could tell he was trying to genuinely understand our… lifestyle, to use his word, but-”

“I got angry,” Dean says looking down at their clasped hands.

“You didn’t say anything I wasn't thinking,” Cas says simply. “I’m glad you reached out to Claire.”

“It seems like she needed it.”

“She doesn’t have a lot of adults in her life she can rely on to be in her corner,” Cas says diplomatically. “I’ve tried, over the years, but I can’t relate to her at all.”

Dean laughs. “Of course not. Teenage rebellion wasn’t really your style.”

“Ah yes, of course,” Cas says, his voice dry as chalk, “you’d be the perfect person to talk to her. The cool kids speak their own language. How could I forget?”

Dean smirks. “It’s full of references you don’t get.”

“Don’t remind me,” Cas says darkly.

Dean leans in for a kiss. Eyes dancing, as he whispers, “Relax, babe. You were always the coolest kid in school to me."

[evanescentdawn]

2, 4 and 14~ (I'm really interested in 2, lol. That gotta be a lot)

thank you haku, my beloved, for the questions! ♥️♥️

2 - how many wips in your doc list

you’re right. there’s so much in there. I haven’t transferred everything over as well, but have been organising fics and transferring the stuff I have in tumblr onto my drive. so counting them won’t be monstrous task, lol.

59 — ao no exorcist

16 — crossovers

13 — fma, khr

3 — boku no hero academia

15 — shingeki no kyojin

4 — the old guard

94 — the originals

65 — omniscient reader

2 — Given, ml, shades of magic

6 — golden time, naruto

8 — vampire knight

1 — the great gabsty, hannibal, mk, romance is a bonus book, saiki k, villain initialisation, good omens, sense8, star wars

27 — who made me a princess

18 — Harry Potter

37 — jjk

38 — Tokyo ghoul

20 — merlin, mp100

I tried to make this as accurate as possible but I have… a lot of uncounted wips buried in my tumblr drafts/other places and my whole spn folder is confusing as fuck. but over-all what i counted is around 571 and that is a lot. but I swear it really doesn’t feel like that much, sometimes.

4 - Tell me about your favorite will-never-finish-it fic? Why won’t it be finished?

oh mannnn

this is a difficult question to answer.

I have… a lot of these will-I-ever-finish wip. and I can’t choose which is my “favourite” so gonna go for a random one.

my aoex wip, misunderstandings. for one: I have no clue on where it will just be izushie or (pre)rinzumoshie. I keep changing my mind.z and another reasons: im having difficulty in general writing this urgh

the pacing feels sorta off, and there is the thing with the plot? beyond “izumi misunderstanding shiemi’s feelings” I got a confusing conflicting mess on where to go there and am super indecisive about them.

and also there’s the whole, urgh, I don’t know how to continue it. like logically I know where to naturally go. but it’s not working.

14 - Share a few sentences of what you’re currently working on?

I would love to show you some part of the new wip I started. a companion, sort-of sequel for to you, who left but focused on gojo and gojohime.

yeah, I read your comment and it inspired me a hella lot. but sadly, I’m still going over it in my head and don’t have anything show-able currently.

but I do have this that has gojo&utahime. it’s for the jjk week, day three: beach day! I am having so, so much fun with this one

“How about we play something we actually know,” Iori suggests.

“You just want to play baseball,” Satoru accuses. “We’re on the beach! It’s tradition that we play some beach volleyball. How hard could the rules be? It’s just tossing some ball over the net, and not letting it touch the ground.”

An immediate scowl etches on Iori’s face. “Shut up,” She hisses. “I wasn’t talking to you, or suggesting baseball. How the hell would be play that here? And the play isn’t that easy, you idiot!”

“Don’t you mean it’s not easy for you?” Satoru edges her, a maniac grin takening on his face. “The rest of us is not as weak as you.”

& also this moment between Geto & Gojo that shows how much bastard Gojo towards Utahime. <3 I hate him (affectionate)

“You really like to rile her up, don’t you?” Geto comments.

Satoru grins. “It’s in my blood, what can I do? It hurts my poor soul letting the weak be ignorant and not know exactly how weak they are.”

Geto laughs. Yeah, right.

Satoru’s dialogue is still under revision, there’s just something about that rubs me off wrong. but I haven’t figured what it is but seriously. why is he ike that. why do I love him so much.

also this might be one of my ambition fics yet because I am tackling a whole lot of characters at once — like ten — when I can barely do three, lol. but it’s going so well so far im very pleased.

[delta-roseblr]

Weekly Writing Updates

***********READ THIS FIRST**************

Before I get into the actual update I want to explain a bit of what has been going on in my own life first because you are going to see that dates have changed. 

I am going to be taking Two Months Off from posting and will be returning in DECEMBER. For the sake of transparency and hopefully understanding I want to explain why this is happening.

Lets go all the way back to March when things really started getting crazy with COVID and schools (including the one I work for) moved to virtual learning. I experienced a lot of initial anxiety with that (which I think we all did) that kept me from writing as much as I normally do. I have a pretty significant history with anxiety that I’m not going to outline here but I can say that it has been bad in the past. I thing I have never experienced before was how Anxiety can shift to Depression but as COVID stay at home orders went from being a couple weeks to pretty much being for the foreseeable future that happened to me. There was a period of time where just getting out of bed was really hard- Obviously this further impacted my writing.

Over the summer things started to get better- I started to get better. I found a routine that worked for me, and I was looking forward to the start of the school year even though I knew it was going to be chaotic. Then right as I got my feet under me, it happened- My supervisor was fired. Not because she did anything illegal or anything like that, just district politics. Beyond the personal disappointment that came with the fact that we worked well together, and I was going to miss her, there was the problem of who was appointed to replace her. It became clear very early on that the new women didn’t have the knowledge to do the job. It took a little longer to realize just how unprofessional and retaliator she is. I can’t go into a lot of detail about what has been happening due to confidentiality reasons, but I can say that the last two months (since this woman was appointed) has been HELL for me. I have cried almost daily because of this woman and her horrible treatment of myself and others.

One thing I learned from my last job was that you should never stay at a job if you are miserable so as hard as it was for me (because I still love many of the people I work with) I began looking for a new job. The good news is that within a week and a half of seriously pursuing something I was offered a new position, and that is such a relief! The thing is they want me to start in October and the position is in Delaware.

So I’m moving again which wasn’t exactly the plan. Right now I am in a whirlwind of applying for my licensure in Delaware, completing all my employment paperwork, trying to find a new apartment, and packing. It’s all happened so fast and I’m still a big old ball of anxiety but at least there is hope at the end of the tunnel now.

So I have decided to take a few months off from posting to take a stressor off my plate as I move and settle in. I will still be writing as time allows, just without impending due dates.

What I’m asking for from all of you is understanding and patience. PLEASE DON’T send me asks asking me if I’m really taking two months off or can’t I start posting sooner. I know asks like that come from a good place but it fucking hurts. This WAS NOT an easy decision for me. I want nothing more then to keep posting and interacting at my normal rate but I’m also trying to get through one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with.

I’m still going to post my weekly writing updates because it is a good way to keep all of you up to date with what is going on. I’m always going to try to post updates about my life as things happens even though that in general is hard for me.

Now onto the actually updates!

All Moments Delix                                          

Chapter 31- Complete -Anticipated Post Date 12/4

Chapter 32- Draft Complete - Anticipated Post Date 1/

Chapter 33- Complete- Anticipated Post Date

Chapter 34- Draft Complete- Anticipated Post Date

Chapter 35- Complete- Anticipated Post Date

Chapter 36- Complete- Anticipated Post Date

Chapter 37- Complete- Anticipate Post Date

Chapter 38- Draft in Progress- Anticipated Post Date

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Prompt Based Ficlets

Delix & Solangelo kid fic -Outline complete

Anon- Felix thanksgiving prompt

Kyle and “Mysterious Handsome” (AKA- Cecil) meeting- Draft in progress

Solangelo spanking prompt

Delix & Solangelo double-date prompt- Outline Complete

@ satan-with-grey-socks Morning after prompt- Outline complete

Anon prompt: How everyone acts toward Felix following the break up with Dean

@fionaisabel13 prompt Felix acceptance letter

Sex toy prompt

Felix prom prompt

Delix at Camp Half Blood fic-

Chapter 19- DRAFT IN PROGRESS- Anticipated Post Date 12/7

Chapter 20- Outline Complete- Anticipated Post Date

Chapter 21 Anticipated Post Date

Other Projects:

Solangelo Mortal Delinquent AU-            

Chapter 13- Complete- Posted on Website – Ao3 9/26

Chapter 14- Complete- Posted on Website – Ao3

Chapter 15- Complete- Posted on Website – Ao3

Chapter 16- Complete- Posted on Website – Ao3

Chapter 17- Complete- Posted on Website – Ao3

Chapter 18- COMPLETE- Anticipated Post Date 9/24

Chapter 19- DRAFT IN PROGRESS- Anticipated Post Date 12/30

Chapter 20- Anticipated Post Date 1/27

Chapter 21- Anticipated Post Date 2/25

Chapter 22- Anticipated Post Date 3/25

Chapter 23- Anticipated Post Date 4/29

Chapter 24- Anticipated Post Date 5/27

Chapter 25- Anticipated Post Date 6/24

Chapter 26- Anticipated Post Date 7/29

Chapter 27- Anticipated Post Date 8/26

Chapter 28- Anticipated Post Date 9/30

Chapter 29- Anticipated Post Date 10/28

Chapter 30- Anticipated Post Date 11/25

Chapter 31- Anticipated Post Date 12/30

Chapter 32- Anticipated Post Date

Chapter 33- Anticipated Post Date

PJO Fancy Word One-Shot Compilation-

Aesthete – Draft complete

Ailurophile – Draft complete 

Ailurophile – Draft complete

Lascivious -Outline Complete 

Prurient- Outline Complete 

basorexia – Draft in Progress

Mellifluous- Draft Complete

Sweven- Draft complete

Liaison

Seraglio 

Serendipity

Bibliophile

Kismet  

Lascivious- OUTLINE COMPLETE

College AU

Chapter 1- Draft complete

Chapter 2- Draft complete

Chapter 3- Draft complete

Chapter 4- Draft complete

Chapter 5- Draft Complete

Chapter 6- Draft Complete

Chapter 7- DRAFT IN PROGRESS

Chapter 8- Outline Complete

Chapter 9- Outline Complete

Chapter 10- Outline Complete

Chapter 11- Outline Complete

Chapter 12- Outline Complete

Chapter 13- Outline Complete

Chapter 14- Outline Complete

Chapter 15- Outline Complete

Chapter 16- Outline Complete

College AU Delix Companion Fic

Chapter 1- Outline Complete

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Other Projects

Sequel to the Hogwarts AU

Chapter 1- Draft Complete

Chapter 2- Draft Complete

Chapter 3- Draft Complete

Chapter 4- Draft Complete

Chapter 5- Draft in Progress

Chapter 6- Outline Complete

Chapter 7- Outline Complete

Chapter 8- Outline Complete

Chapter 9- Outline Complete

Chapter 10- Outline Complete

Delix as Demigods 😉

Chapter 1- Draft Complete

Chapter 2- Draft Complete

Chapter 3- Draft Complete

Chapter 4- DRAFT COMPLETE

Chapter 5- Outline complete

Chapter 6- Outline complete

Chapter 7- Outline complete

Chapter 8- Outline complete

Chapter 9- Outline Complete

Chapter 10- Outline Complete

Chapter 11- Outline Complete

Chapter 12- Outline Complete

Chapter 13- Outline Complete

Chapter 14- Outline Complete

Chapter 15- Outline Complete

Chapter 16- Outline Complete

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

[firebirdsdaughter]

I'm honestly not too shocked that Aruto is going to work together Gai now. He always rubbed me the wrong way when it came to his views about Humagears, esp his reaction to Raiden & Subaru. That was a huge red flag for me. Also, if he's really so concerned about the well-being of Humagears, then he should offer counseling for the destroyed & revived Humagears to deal with the trauma. But I guess that would be too much to ask. As long as they serve humans who cares about Humagears' feelings.

I def agree w/ you, he’s rubbed me the wrong way in many of the same ways.

It’s hard to believe he sees HumaGear as people when he’s all pleased w/ Raiden talking about how he’ll be decommissioned soon and even calling the two of them ‘just like real brothers.’

You know, like he keeps saying Horobi is ‘trying to be like Jin’s father.’

And don’t even get me started on ‘a caring brother can’t be a spy,’ ‘if only you had been different,’ ‘why did you hurt Izu?’ ‘I’ve never treated them differently’…

AUGH.

To me, Aruto’s ‘dream’ can be summed up in a line from a song that was cut from Frozen (ya’ll thought I’d forgotten about this, didn’t you, but no) that goes ‘It’ll be just like it was, except for we’ll be best friends.’

This got long, so I’m cutting it here. Or. I’m trying to. 

He doesn’t see HumaGear as equal to people, he just wants them to stay right where they are, and ‘be happy’ there. ‘Good’ HumaGear are the ones whose development is convenient for humans. Raiden was ‘good’ when he saw no problem dying bc his ‘purpose was served,’ Naki was ‘good’ when they just wanted to support other HumaGear’s dreams as long as they were steered towards HumaGear w/ dreams of benefiting humanity, Jin is ‘good’ now bc he’s not trying to get HumaGear away from serving humans anymore and is also willing to kill his own father or due himself to do something that will benefit humans. The morality of the show has always been very much centred around humans, how HumaGear benefit humans, and HumaGear are expected to be these perfect little angels who exist to help humans and never think of themselves. Horobi is ‘bad’ bc he has resentment towards humans and has been so deeply under the Ark’s control for so long that he can’t think outside of her (esp not after being possessed) so obviously he doesn’t ‘want’ to be ‘change.’

I said it in the tags of my other post, but there’s something wrong w/ the picture when you’re holding a literally mind controlled AI who hasn’t had any concept of free will or self thought in his entire life aside from small snatches that were quickly stomped out, more accountable than a human w/ full autonomy and knowledge and power who deliberately did things that caused death and harm (and shot someone in the head). It’s not a good message. I’m supposed to feel bad for Gai bc he’s ‘sad,’ but Horobi deserves to die? I’m sorry, what?

The message has very much been ‘humans are special special and HumaGear are expendable/need to be carefully moulded into a ‘singularity’ that’s at the least convenient for humans.’ ‘Good’ HumaGear aspire only to properly serve their humans, to be like them, they are pure and angelic creatures who never feel anything ‘negative,’ and if they do, they need to be purged.

I could rant myself in circles about this for ages. I think for me, the really glaring example is Aruto’s treatment of Jin, a relationship that could have been an interesting learning experience for both of them (though, honestly, I was also hoping to see Fuwa also help Aruto realise the issues w/ his attitude, bc as he started coming down from his prejudice and aggression, Fuwa actually treated HumaGear more like equals than Aruto did, one of the many things I loved about him and Horobi as a pair), but instead ends up being a glaring example of Aruto’s… Whatever.

So Horobi has his first moment of clarity and genuinely fears for Jin, so the Ark steps in and ‘tells’ him to protect his son, so he does and it hurt, and Jin is hysterical. Izu proceeds to walk right up to the still-transformed, clearly emotionally volatile and very uninjured Jin, and announce w/ a smile that Horobi has been defeated. Jin, hysterical and lost, reacts in the only way he knows how, violently, which she should have bloody seen coming, wth. But then, Aruto is demanding to know ‘why did you hurt Izu’ like she did nothing wrong and Jin just attacked her randomly (which was a thing that could have happened and would have made his emotions make mire sense, Jin lashing out at Izu as ‘revenge’ for Horobi), and then Jin gets treated like the total bad guy. Then, on top of that, Aruto finds out during the fight that Jin doesn’t actually know what’s going on, he’s just been raised into this. Instead of immediately trying to change tactics and reason w/ him, Aruto just spews his ‘I want HumaGear and humans to smile together’ line (what does that even mean?), and when Jin rejects that, Aruto just… Gives up and says ‘if only you had been different.’ doesn’t try to prompt Jin to think about what Jin wants, what Jin is feeling, doesn’t bother to try to find out why Jin is so hysterical. It gets even worse when he quickly gains the firepower advantage and learns that Izu will be totally fine, but he still doesn’t bother trying anything else. He just kills Jin, bc… What? Jin didn’t immediately bow to his ‘love’ for HumaGear? Of course once sentence wasn’t gonna do it, he just watched humans kill his father! Aruto didn’t need to kill Jin at all, it would have been easy to disable him—alternatively, if they really wanted Jin to go down there, there were ways to do it that didn’t make it come off as Aruto quickly erasing a HumaGear for having any negative feelings or resentment towards humans, esp when you follow it w/ a scene of him and Izu being all pleased about other HumaGear ‘behaving’ themselves, and then never mention Jin again.

Fast forward, and when Jin comes back talking about wanting to free HumaGear from humans… Aruto actually asks him what he wants, finally? Then Aruto gets the boot from Hiden and decides to go to Jin for help. This should be a turning point where Jin get to properly confront Aruto about what happened and Aruto reflects on what he did, but no. Jin gets to shout a little, but then Aruto claims he never treated humans and HumaGear differently and says ‘I watched my HumaGear dad die’ and Jin just… Says nothing? doesn’t shoot back w/, ‘so did I, humans killed him.’ Then they get interrupted and Jin runs off… Only to… Rescue Izu later? But then after he does he… Grabs her hand and runs away and tries to convince her to be free? After… Literally buying his father time to reconnect to the Ark? And this is Izu? Who he stabbed? Okay… Anyway, then we have more stuff w/ poor connotations of Jin saying he ‘learned something’ from Aruto killing him and Izu ‘choosing’ to keep being Aruto’s secretary like a ‘good’ little HumaGear (her liking him and wanting to stay on his side would be one thing, but this… Esp w/ him claiming that he thought she should choose, going by his later insistence that Jin can’t take G-Pen bc he’s a human’s ‘partner’), and only then does he take a bullet for her. This apparently means something to Jin, although I feel like the implications of ‘she’s worth protecting bc she decided to keep serving humans and I killed you bc you didn’t want to do that’ should not have been lost on him (also wtf did Jin start caring about Izu?). The we have the next ep w/ aforementioned G-Pen incident which for some reason Aruto defending another HumaGear choosing to serve humans makes Jin decide to ‘believe in his dream’ or whatever. But then later the Raiden scene makes it seem like Jin was playing along bc that conversation w/ Horobi about HumaGear needing guidance to break free gave him an idea or something, I dunno, but naturally Aruto reacts like this is some huge betrayal, despite the fact that they hardly have any relationship—okay, so this friendship is something Aruto made up in his head, given his character, and apparent assumptions that all HumaGear actually adore humans, that makes sense. That could work. But then episode thirty fucking six happens. Jin apparently cares more for Yaiba, a human he’s barely interacted w/ who had yet to show any sign of no longer considering HumaGear to be tools, who had previously represented all the things Jin hated about them, then his own father. Acts all protective of her, throws himself in as a shield for her, moons about while she’s in the hospital. Then we learn he decided he trusted her (?????) enough to conspire w/ her to… Use his own father as a sacrifice to kill the Ark. Aruto seems to be more worried about Horobi, but merely yells a bit about how Horobi should ‘remember who he is by now.’ Come ep 37, Jin fucking takes a hit for miss perfect HumaGear Izu (note: aside from her grabbing the idiot ball in ep 15, my annoyance w/ Izu isn’t really something she as a character has done, it’s the way they’ve written her as the ‘pinnacle of ‘good’ HumaGear for her devotion to her human’), and tells Aruto to leave. Now that Jin is behaving in a way that benefits/is convenient for humans, though, Aruto is a like ‘oh, we totally were best buds, I was right!’ and is so worried and distressed about him, forgetting Horobi (who is so ‘bad’ for not being able to break through more than a decade of mind control! forget him, Jin must be saved!). Then we have that incredibly forced scene in 38 where Aruto tries to ‘get through to Jin’ and Jin ‘breaks through the Ark’s control bc of Aruto’ (see my draft horse pack on a shetland pony analogy) and ‘tells Aruto to kill him!’ which continues in to this ep. In which we also have… Gai. Who Aruto quickly puts effort into ‘reasoning w/’ and ‘showing the light’ bc ‘oh no he had a bad childhood’… Okay, but… You killed Jin for that, and he literally didn’t understand what he was doing. Gai had full autonomy and knowledge of his actions. People were hurt bc of both of their actions, but it’s Gai who gets a big speech and Jin who gets blown up. I said it back when it happened. If Jin had been human? I bet they would have made Aruto approach that much differently.

The fact that Aruto is willing to do all that for Gai but killed Jin, and only now considers Jin worth any effort bc Jin is behaving in a way that benefits/is convenient for humans even at the expense of HumaGear (being willing to sacrifice Horobi, even himself, to stop the Ark, while that goal is technically ultimately noble, the context gives a bad connotation), and not trying to talk HumaGear out of being subservient to humans and telling them to think for themselves, or wanting to revive a HumaGear that Aruto was content to leave deactivated bc he didn’t have a ‘use’… But Horobi only gets a few shouts and then ditched bc he ‘won’t listen’… Leaves a really bad impression.

[bdubb678]

2020 Fantasy Baseball Sleepers

I was drinking last night (heavily) and decided I would attempt to write about something I love--fantasy baseball. Let me start off by saying, FUCK CORONA. I desperately wish I was able to take Caltrain to a San Francisco Giants game, order some garlic fries, and watch them get boat raced by the visiting team—but I guess being stuck in my apartment constantly refreshing twitter for any semblance of “good news” is today’s reality. I’ve long since completed my fantasy baseball research, league drafts, and crying over the fact we have no idea when baseball will start. In order to preserve my sanity, here are some sleepers for the 2020 fantasy baseball season:

Josh Bell

Fantasy drafters seem low on Bell after a down second half of the 2019 season. He actually finished strong slashing .261/.373/.554 in August ending the season with a robust .277/.367/.569 batting line. His 37 homers and 116 RBI were both top 10 amongst all hitters in the National League. At 27 years old, there is still time for Bell to improve and his batted ball data suggests his power breakout last year was no fluke—ranking top 15 in average exit velocity. I have no problem taking Bell many rounds later if I miss on Bellinger or Freeman. I’m projecting a .270/.370/.550 slash line and above average production in 4/5 categories (R, HR, RBI, AVG).

Tyler Glasnow

Unfortunately, injuries have always been the issue for Tyler Glasnow, and they again took their toll in 2019. After being traded away from Ray Searage and the Pirates pitching staff, the Devil Ray’s analytical approach to pitching has worked wonders for Glasnow. In spite of the injury-shortened season last year, Glasnow had the second-lowest xwOBA against in the MLB, an 11.3 K/9, and a WHIP under 1.00. If he stays healthy, he could easily finish as a top 10 starting pitcher this year. Carried by elite velocity (96.3 MPH four-seamer) and a nasty curveball (43.9 whiff %), developing a third pitch is key to him taking the next step. Even now, when healthy, he is damn near unhittable.

Joey Gallo

Gallo was in the midst of a full-blown breakout last year until a hamate bone injury ended his season—sporting an ISO of .344, a walk rate over 15%, and the highest batting average of his career (.253) in 2019. Although the batting average was buoyed by a .368 BABIP, Gallo was mashing last year and looked ready to push for 40+ homers. Gallo has some of the most prodigious power in the MLB, and any reduction to his strikeout rate could lead to a massive uptick in fantasy value. His upside is immense and I believe he hits the ball hard enough to overcome his strikeout issues. I’m betting on a 240/.370/.565 slash line, and the AL lead in strikeouts and homers.

Tommy Edman

When you can draft a player that is likely to have 25-30 steals and won’t kill your batting average—you do it. When you can draft that player at 137 overall—it’s a no brainer. Quietly, Edman led the Cardinals in batting average and slugging percentage while mashing 11 homers over 326 at-bats in 2019. Even if the power wasn’t for real, the batting average looks legit (.292 xBA). Although he is slated for a super-utility role, he is likely to play every day. If the Cardinals decide to bat him leadoff with regularity, fantasy owners could be looking at a ton of runs to go along with a .285/.345/.450 triple slash. This is an extremely useful player is today’s fantasy landscape that can swipe bags and is eligible at multiple positions (2B, 3B, OF).

Frankie Montas

Montas was on an upward trajectory since being traded to the Athletics in 2018. In 2019, he pitched to a 2.63 ERA and 1.11 WHIP over 16 starts before being hit with an 80 game PED suspension. He throws gas (96.8 MPT four-seamer), has two elite off-speed pitches, and a chance to be one of the biggest breakout pitchers of the 2020 season. When selecting players outside the top 100 you want to look for upside and Montas has the arsenal to easily outpace his current ADP. Being drafted around the same as Zach Wheeler and Madison Bumgarner, I’ll draft the upside with Montas and reap the benefits whenever the season starts (May?).

Zac Gallen

The Pacific Coast League (‘PCL”) is well known for being the most hitter-friendly league in professional baseball. In 2019, the league average OPS in the PCL was .829, compared to .758 in the MLB. None of those numbers mattered to Gallen who dominated the PCL with a 1.77 ERA, .71 WHIP and 11 K/9 before being called up by the Florida Marlins and eventually being traded to the Diamondbacks. Gallen dominated the MLB with a 2.81 ERA and 10.8 K/9 and looks to build on that by reducing his walk rate in 2020. Gallen’s 10.8% walk percentage is sharply divergent from his minor league numbers (6.26% walk rate) indicating he should improve in that category during his second season in the MLB.

Marcell Ozuna

Ozuna will likely be batting cleanup for a stacked Braves lineup. As long as he stays healthy, he is a strong contender to lead the league in RBI. Recently signed as a free agent after coming up with the Marlins and two years with the Cardinals, Ozuna is a great value at his current ADP. He was in the top 10 percent of the league in average exit velocity and xWOBA during 2019 despite his modest .800 OPS—meaning he very likely underperformed last year. Not a lot else to say here—when people inevitably overlook Ozuna, be smart and take a player who has a great chance to lead to the league in RBI in 2020.

[frighthouseofalighthouse]

All weird asks!! They're so good!

Sorry this is a bit late, babe! I wanted to wait til I had the opportunity to answer all these uninterrupted!

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffee mugs! tbh I drink tea out of coffee mugs because who actually uses teacups? I mean my grandma has tons and I would use them, but the handles are so tiny and I am v clumsy so it scares me.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars!!! I’m too impatient for lollipops and plus they always get coated in saliva which just...drips down my chin since my mouth is already full.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Bubblegum! I love cotton candy but I can only handle a bit at a time tbh. Also I haven’t had bubblegum in almost two years bc of braces and I miss it so much I can’t wait to have it again.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Okay, so even though I’ve always been homeschooled, when I was in elementary school we did this program with a ton of other homeschoolers where you could take actual classes and stuff. My teachers always said I was quiet and focused and studious, and you could always count on me to be lecturing everyone else on the instructions if they hadn’t been paying attention. (does any of that surprise anyone?)

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? GLASS SODA BOTTLES. nothing beats soda that’s been bottled in glass rather than plastic. You ever had orange cream soda from a glass bottle????? SLAPS ASS MY DUDE.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Pastel/boho/preppy/goth, my dude. I have so many sides to my fashion and aesthetic.

7. earbuds or headphones?

EARBUDS BC HEADPHONES NEVER FIT OVER MY EARS RIGHT. BUT EARBUDS WITH SOFT TIPS BECAUSE MY EARS ARE TOO SMALL FOR THE PLASTIC ONES.

8. movies or tv shows?

Tv shows tbh because even though I can binge 4 eps of 45 minutes each per night, they’ll hold my attention a lot more than a movie. It’s weird.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Thunderstorms/petrichor, also natural bogs. PEAT BOG SMELL FUCKING SLAPS.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

None. I liked trampoline time back when we took gymnastics, if that counts. I also liked jump roping and Irish step dancing.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Nothing lmao. I sleep til like noon and then I microwave something for lunch.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

My catchall playlist, Things I Love, my summer playlist, Summer Songs, my Gryffindor playlist, My Queen And Country playlist for writing, and my playlist for The Raven Cycle. (after I post this I’ll edit it and link them)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Keyring, a lanyard would like constantly detract from my outfit if that makes sense???

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Sour Patch Kids or Swedish Fish.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

Between The Grapes Of Wrath, The Great Gatsby, The Handmaid’s Tale, and To Kill A Mockingbird!

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Just fucking sprawled every which way.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

My grey converse if it’s comfortable out, my silver flip flops if it’s hot, and my fur-lined black combat boots if it’s cold.

18. ideal weather?

65-70 degrees, partly sunny, breezy, not humid.

19. sleeping position?

I need to sprawl to fall asleep, but once I’m asleep I curl up into a little ball.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop and notebook ONLY IF I’m sure of myself, which isn’t often. But I do write dense, scribbled paragraphs on sermon note pages if something comes to me during church lmao.

21. obsession from childhood?

The American Revolution, weather, astronomy, and mysteries/ghost stories.

22. role model?

Idk tbh? Lately I’m just trying to define and live up to my own standards?

23. strange habits?

Pulling the collar of my shirt up to my mouth and sucking on it. Also being a perfectionist in my writing. I don’t do messy drafts. It’s all perfect by the time I write it, and I edit/spellcheck as I go.

24. favorite crystal?

Amethyst (my birthstone), bismuth, opal, and blue goldstone.

25. first song you remember hearing?

Other than nursery rhymes/kid’s songs, it was Light Up The Sky by The Afters, or California Dreamin’ by The Mamas And The Papas.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Find shade/a cool spot and read with a cold drink.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

ALSO READ. And snuggle with thick socks and a cup of tea and play DS games all day.

28. five songs to describe you?

My five faves atm -

I Am Here // Pink

The Pines // Roses and Revolutions

Soldier, Poet, King // The Oh Hellos

Traveler’s Song // Aviators

Hymn // Kesha

29. best way to bond with you?

Share my interests about politics, history, books, true crime, paranormal, tv shows, and also be kind and understanding when I don’t text for long periods bc I don’t feel up to talking.

30. places that you find sacred?

The woods on the hill behind my house. Dense, deeply green, secluded woods. Hedge mazes. Old and crumbling castles. Anywhere beneath a clear sky and a full moon. Your heart when you’ve come to terms with your fears and made peace with yourself. Anyplace with historical significance. Bookstores on an autumn/winter day. Libraries.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

A kickass plaid, bruh. Also my leather jacket - once I lose enough shoulder weight to fit in it again.

32. top five favorite vines?

Fre shavoc ado, the one where the dog eats the butterfly, the Lin-Manuel Miranda one where he’s brainstorming, “what the FUCK kind of weather is this, and the dad and son with the saxophone and the oven door.

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“oh mood”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

“WOW! It’s NatureStone!”

35. average time you fall asleep?

Right now it’s 4-5 am because I suck.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

I Can Haz Cheezburger, My mom used to look at the website with me when I was like 10.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

They both have pros and cons. :/ Duffel bags are easier to carry but suitcases keep stuff from getting broken better.

38. lemonade or tea?

TEAAAAAAAAAAAA

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon meringue pie!!! my stepdad made a really good one the other week.

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Nothing, since I was homeschooled. Same weird shit that always happens at home. Our safe word for when I got overwhelmed in math was “quokka” and we’d stop and look at cute quokka pictures.

41. last person you texted?

My gf :)

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Jacket pockets because things are not only hard to fit in girls’ pants pockets, but if you put a chapstick/lipstick in there it starts to melt :(

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

BETWEEN HOODIE AND CARDIGAN. SO VERSATILE. SO COMFY.

44. favorite scent for soap?

Irish Spring soap or the blue Dial bars smells better and cleaner than anything to me.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy. It can take me a bit to get into it, but once I do, I love it. I only do sci-fi if it has rebellion and isn’t heavy on the sci. And superhero movies are great but a lot of the tropes are meh. Fantasy has a lot more versatility if you ask me.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Sweatpants/leggings and a soft, well worn tee.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Parmesan, white cheddar, or Muenster.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Raspberry!

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“do no harm but take no shit.”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

A really poorly edited political ad on tv a couple years ago. There was weird jazz playing, flames in the background of an image of the Capitol Building, and then the top of the dome opened and this guy’s face was inside. It is the single funniest ad I have ever seen and I laughed for 10 minutes so hard I was like an inch away from passing out.

51. current stresses?

Passing my driving test next month, getting a job, figuring out if my math skills are okay enough to take the SAT or an equivalent test.

52. favorite font?

Baskerville or Georgia!

53. what is the current state of your hands?

My fingernails are short bc I picked them while reading earlier, my cuticles suck bc I pick at those two, and my pinky is obliterated and scabbed because of when I accidentally sliced through the nail with a razor while shaving the other day. So, not great, but I’m living.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

That kids can be really annoying but also really cute and hilarious if you can get them to calm down. And also that baby fingernails are surprisingly sharp.

55. favorite fairy tale?

The OG Princess and the Frog where it’s implied the prince and “faithful Henry,’ his carriage driver, fall in love and ride off together at the end. JACOB AND WILHELM GRIMM SAID GAY RIGHTS.

56. favorite tradition?

Every December, my mom and I drive around after dark at night and I play Pokemon and we rate everyone’s Christmas decorations based on tackiness.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

So isolated I was as a preteen/early teenager, my self harm, and the internalized anger over my abusive relationship and PTSD.

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Writing, puzzle solving, singing, and calligraphy.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Benvoli-no.” (I recently remembered I used to say that a lot and I need to bring it back)

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Dark, fairy tale anime with a lot of secrets to uncover and some dark woods.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

TV show - “I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself.” - Doctor Who

Movie - “It’s not about deserve. It’s about what you believe. And I believe in love.” - Wonder Woman

Book - “If you never saw the stars, candles were enough.” - The Dream Thieves, by Maggie Stiefvater

62. seven characters you relate to?

Dean Winchester - Supernatural

Sam Winchester - Supernatural

Jack Kline Winchester - Supernatural

Charlie Bradbury - Supernatural

Gansey - The Raven Cycle

Blue Sargent - The Raven Cycle

Hermione Granger - Harry Potter

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Final Song // MO

Call Home // Heathers

I Am Here // Pink

Babylon // 5 Seconds of Summer

Shake It Off // Taylor Swift

64. favorite website from your childhood?

WEBKINZ AND THE OLD AMERICAN GIRL WEBSITE

65. any permanent scars?

Yes, I have several that remain from self harm, scars all over my left knee from being a clumsy child, and most of all a major scar down the center of my chest from heart surgery when I was a baby.

66. favorite flower(s)?

Rose, lavender, lilac, and dahlia.

67. good luck charms?

Not really???

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Olives, mushrooms, radishes, cottage cheese, and ranch dressing are all foul.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Martin Luther didn’t actually nail his 95 theses to the church door, he just kind of passed them around, which is a lot less dramatic tbh. Also light-up signs were first used in New York City in 1884.

70. left or right handed?

I’m left-handed!

71. least favorite pattern?

I think zebra stripes, leopard print, and houndstooth are super ugly.

72. worst subject?

Math for sure. Even science would be easier if it didn’t involve so much math.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Wendy’s fries and chocolate frosty!!!

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

I think a 7, usually. My pain tolerance is pretty high because of a) years of self harm, and b) due to my PTSD my muscles are constantly tense and in pain anyway.

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I was 4, and it had been loose but it fell out when I was trying to blow up an inflatable ball.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Fries or roasted potatoes that are charred and crunchy on the bottom. Chips are a close third.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Idk, my grandma’s the one with the green thumb mania lmao. But She keeps a lot of violets and arrowhead plants in the windowsills!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

NEITHER I HATE BOTH COFFEE AND SUSHI IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

Never had a school ID, but my temporary license photo is actually pretty good right now!

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

I really like earth tones for myself.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

THEY ARE THE SAME MF THING. Also I call them both, it just depends on what comes out of my mouth haha.

82. pc or console?

PC, I guess, though I don’t really game. I just watch my stepdad game.

83. writing or drawing?

WRITING. I cannot draw to save my life.

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts, talk radio is so annoying.

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie, although I loved both.

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology I guess??? Although again, I love both.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

COOKIESSSSS

87. your greatest fear?

Rejection, losing people I love, people secretly hating me. Also drowning, spiders, clowns, and guns.

88. your greatest wish?

To be a semi-successful author and work in a library/museum.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom and my gf.

90. luckiest mistake?

Almost dropping a knife blade first on my foot but it landed between my toes.

91. boxes or bags?

um boxes I guess? I’m really good at fitting things in tetris style.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

FAIRY LIGHTS AND DIM YELLOW LAMPS.

93. nicknames?

Ell, Alexander, Ellie, Little Lion, and Nerd.

94. favorite season?

FALL FALL FALL FALL

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr or Spotify. Two apps I couldn’t live without.

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

About a half dozen. Mine, my mom’s, my stepdad’s, my grandparents’ home number, my grandpa’s, and my grandma’s.

98. favorite historical era?

Both the American Revolutionary period and the Victorian Era (esp in Britain)

THANK YOU LOVE THIS WAS SUPER FUN

[kuresoto]

*eyes emoji* 7, 11, 21, 29, 37 for the 40 Qs meme

Mah babe, ty <3

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. 

Arghhhh I have two from the same chapter of Smoke and Retribution lmfao spoilers w/e

“You’re a monster,” she whispered, fear creeping into her voice.

“How else does anyone survive? How do you destroy a monster without becoming one?” His dishevelled hair fell across his face but his dark eyes still found her. “It’s just us now.” He moved to caress her cheek but the tears streaming down her face made him stop, fingertips inches from her face. “Whatever you decide to do now, I won’t stop you. Whether you decide to leave or stay, I won’t stop you.”

and

Rey exhaled slowly and repositioned her grip on the knife. She shifted her knees and flexed her fingers. She had to do it. It was now or never.

“You should have reported me when you had the chance.”

Ben’s sleep-ridden voice caught her off guard but not enough for her to pull the knife away from his throat. “I didn’t know you had killed everyone who had wronged me in my life.”

“No, I don’t mean recently. I mean before, when we first met, years ago.”

She pressed the tip further against his throat, the dull edge sinking into his flesh. “What do you mean?” she whispered harshly.

“Rey, sweet Rey, the small girl who used to masquerade as a boy. The small girl who helped an injured man she found in an alleyway one night. The girl who understood that the Security Force could not be trusted. Rey, the girl who was nobody but somebody at the same time.”

“You.”

Ben opened his eyes lazily, his dark orbs watching her through his long lashes. “I recognised you the moment you bumped into me on the street. I was even more surprised when you managed to find your way back into my life, in this very room. The moon was out, just like tonight. You had changed but yet hadn’t at the same time.” He chuckled. “You still had that hair.”

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

It’s a hobby I’m passionate about heh, but srs, it’s just a hobby and I know it’ll never be more than that, which I’m okay with. It distracts from my monotonous job :)

21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

I try and read my one-shots like….at least once before posting, which is TERRIBRO. For my 2+ chapter fics, I try and get a beta since my eyes just zone out, and then do a final once over as I post.

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose? 

Alright alright alright so @extrakyloren​ @lariren-shadow​ and I read @coupdefoudrey​ mermaid reylo fic and have been losing our shit over it bc WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS NEXT we don’t know but we sure are fucking thirsty to find out and headcanon-ed about it for two days sweats

37. Talk about your current wips.

I mean….do you really want to know? Skldfhsdjg alrighty

Sunblossum: My inception AU fic for @reylofanfictionanthology that I’m busting my balls to finish the draft x_x

Paper Minds (Kylo origin story): currently written 8/11 (? maybe?) and it’s at that part where it’s fucking complicated and I need to make sure shit makes sense

One Month Vacation (Reydar for @red-applesith): MAN I’m like halfway through the second chapter (ngl, I haven’t touched it since Feb) and it’ll probably have like…idk another chapter and I’m trying to think of more crack scenarios for it

Bad Neighbors: lmfao I do actually want to write a second chapter that is Kylo’s POV

Professor/Pole Dancer AU: Rey is older than Ben and they’re both teachers at a high school and Ben obvs has a crush on Rey who is peak Hot Older Woman™ and he finds out she’s also a pole dancer whaaaaat pole dance pole dance drop splits fishnet bodysuits stripper heels my aesthetic i love

Smuggler Ben/Rey follow up from this that is stupid long and probably going to be a bullshit mutlichap and borderline crack but the title would be ‘Ben Solo’s Guide To Surviving The GalaxyWhile Trying To Not Fall In Love With Your Partner (And Ultimately Failing)’…yes, the title is purposely long and I’m still intending it to be a present for @politicalmamaduck​ who has to deal with me just dropping 15k+ shit for her to beta ;-; tq bby D;

And then I have Ideas™ that haven’t been written up but already blurted out to @reyloporn​ (Spy AU, xenomorph AU, demon/witch AU continuation, and that one canon divergent AU with clock emojis)

40 questions meme for fic writers

[cobra-creampuff]

ALL 50 QUESTIONS BITCH

HECK

1: Age Group   For fic tbh whatever, I know a lot of people in fandom are underage and are exploring and figuring out what they like, etc. Plus not all my stuff is explicit, and some of the stuff that is still isn’t porn so. As for original stuff that will likely all be explicit as well, so an adult market audience.

2: Genre   Usually fantasy, sometimes science fiction.

3: Big Idea or Detail Oriented Outlining   binch i cant outline for absolute shit. I guess big picture but like…. ?? the biggest possible picture, almost to the point of being useless lmfao. someone help me.

4: Line Editing or Plot Revision   I prefer line editing for fics because I’m lazy and it’s for free, but overhaul type revision results in a better finished product so I use that for original stuff (and commissions).

5: With or Without Deadlines    With deadlines, definitely. I can crank out 1k in an hour if I have a deadline, but without one it can take me 2 years to write just as much (see: Zwangsneurose, started the second I got home from seeing The Winter Soldier, still not finished, word count at ~800 lmfao).

6: The Biggest Compliment   I love it when people mention details that they noticed! Or if god forbid I was funny once.

7: Current WIP Length   I have 12 fic WIPs right now and the longest one is 7.7k. I have 4 original WIPs right now, but they are all in development stages, with no word count yet.

8: Author Comparison Goal   @neil-gaiman 110%. He is my ultimate goals and a huge inspiration, not to mention just a plain cool guy. I also would love to be compared to Rick Riordan or Gillian Flynn.

9: Biggest Struggle   Foreshadowing probably. I sort of wing it as I’m writing, and I can’t do a very good outline like I said, so it’s tough to get good hints and clues as to what’s coming. That’s part of the reason my originals are taking so much development (not just because I have to fill in all the worldbuilding that is already mostly done for fic).

10: Brainstorming With Others or Alone     I like to do a bit of both. I really appreciate input, plus talking things out can really get the creative ball rolling. But I like to get into Deep Shit on my own too, especially with worldbuilding. I’ll always share with others though, even the stuff I wanted to come up with all on my lonesome.

11: Characters Based on Real People     I’m sure there are aspects of people I know, and of myself, in every character I create, and likely even in characters that have already been created. What you know will always leak into your writing. However, I don’t usually base a character fully (or purposefully) around one real person. I do namesakes though, but they’re almost never modeled after that person, it’s just a shoutout to someone I find inspiring in some way.

12: Writing Space Clean or Cluttered     cluttered af binch u been here & seen it smh make me drag myself in front of everyone……

13: Character Driven or Plot Driven     Always character driven!! what kinda question

14: Favorite Writing Related Quote     “Stories may well be lies, but they are good lies that say true things, and which sometimes pay the rent.” - guess who lmao

15: My Characters in Someone Else’s World     I would transport my characters into (brace yourselves for a shock lol jk) American Gods, primarily so that they could get some good old fashioned “help” from the Big Guys.

16: Movie or TV Show     Well two of them have pretty finite endings. The romance legend could be a tv show but with a limited amount of renewal, ala A:TLA (but I’d like it better as a graphic novel). The vampire tragedy has a very finite ending so that would make a better movie. And the witch noir and girl gang are both a bit neverending-WIP-ish so they’d make pretty good shows.

17: Soundtracks     Yes! They help keep me focused and writing in a cohesive tone when I have to leave and come back. Y’all can listen to the playlist I have for witch noir here. Eventually I’ll split it up for character and/or scene mood, and I might add some scene suitable ambient noise tracks too.

18: One Song to Sum It Up    witch noir - Temptress, S.J. Tucker    romance legend - Take Me to Church, Neon Jungle    vampire tragedy - Bodies, Celia Pavey    girl gang - Weapon, Bastille & Angel Haze & FUGZ & Braque

19: Me There or Characters Here     …me there, I guess? In the romance legend, vampire tragedy, and girl gang not anything would really be different, but in the witch noir I’d probably have inherited some sweet powers. Not many of my characters are very friendly tho lmao.

20: Most Wanted Adaptation     Probably (a piece of) the witch noir. It’d be neat to actually see all those neat film noir lighting tricks.

21: Finish     Uh. I finish one shot porn a lot? lmao. Other than that, damn… no.

22: Made Myself Cry     lol yah

23: Proud or Anxious     usually I’m more proud, but sometimes when it’s something that’s very deeply personal or controversial I can get anxious.

24: When Did I Become a Writer     tbh sometimes I think I came out the womb that way. I don’t remember not being a writer, and I know I had legit novel ideas as early as like 3rd grade, and was making shit up with pretty words even earlier.

25: Must Reads in My Genre     three guesses what i’m bout to say y’all. Literally anything by Gaiman. Cornelia Funke’s Inkheart series. Any Pratchett. Donna Gillespe fucked me up with The Light Bearer. Bear Daughter by Judith Berman (although that is kind of a tough read, so I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it for everyone).

26: My Genre Needs More…     Diversity in general, specifically more people of color, queer people, and people with disabilities (that aren’t magically erased). Also in my opinion there needs to be more things in between grimdark and go-lucky fairytale.

27: Inspiration Source     History, anthropology, and pseudoscience.

28: Character Naming Stress from 1-10     Probably about a 2 or a 3. I use behindthename.com which can be searched for meanings, sound patterns, usage, and origin, and has a handy “name themes” search algorithm. I also recently found the legit U.S. census thanks to @peppersandcats helping me out with search terms, and that can be sorted by ethnicity, gender, time period, and geographical location. So I’ve got names pretty well covered!

29: Underwrite or Overwrite First Drafts     It could go either way, but generally speaking unless I have a word limit I usually like to add more during editing. Except when something is confusing or too complicated, then I’ll cut it.

30: Calming or Stressing      Not really either tbh. I enjoy it a lot, but it’s mostly exciting! Not calming or stressful, but either a fun adventure or a challenging puzzle.

31: Favorite Trope     Tough to pick just one tbh. I love tropes when they are done “right”. Even tropes done classically can be great (as long as they’re not -phobic of some sort), but I especially love when they are done satirically or inverted.

32: Backstories for Side Characters     Guilty af. Even characters that might not even make it into the finished book have backstories, personalities, and quirks.

33: Characterize Before Writing or Develop with The Story     A little bit of both. I like to have a solid character to work with at the beginning, but for in-text character development I like to let that unfold with the plot and the other characters.

34: Old Writing in One Word     Prolific

35: Villains or Heroes     I like them both pretty well, but my favorite characters of all time are always a little ambiguous so if I had to pick just one kind that’s what I’d go with.

36: B&W Morality     No way! I live in the gray area.

37: Advice     Have fun! Be proud of yourself for what you come up with and celebrate your creativity even if you think it doesn’t compare with other writers. The happier you are to create, the more creative you’ll get. Also, like with any other kind of art, pick a couple role models to emulate and that will help you develop your own solid style.

38: Advice I Fail At     The first draft doesn’t have to be perfect. I spend too long line editing while I’m writing my first draft and that makes it a lot harder to finish anything.

39: Importance of Positive Reinforcement     I’d say reasonably important. Definitely helpful. But I know I’ll keep writing even without it.

40: Question for Favorite Author     How much difference is there between how his creation is in his head versus how it came out in the words, and does he ever think about rewriting things that are long finished?

41: Distracting to Read While Writing     Actually, no. Reading other comparable works helps keep me motivated, inspired, and focused.

42: Motivated or Discouraged by Critiques     Tbh I don’t think I have ever received a real in-depth critique so I’m not certain? I’ve had idle “I liked this, but I didn’t like/understand that” type of feedback, and that has usually been pretty helpful and appreciated. If nothing else it lets me know what parts of the story might not be as accessible to an audience.

43: Protagonists in My Likeness     Yes, there’s a little of me in very many of my protagonists, and often even in fic characters that I write. But, like with other real people, they’re not usually modeled after me, we just have some stuff in common because I leak over into them (and sometimes they leak over into me) when I’m writing them.

44: Choosing An Idea      This is something I struggle with, really. My process is usually to try writing a bit of it, and if I hate it it’s probably not viable.

45: Harder or Easier While Stressed      It’s usually a harder to write when I’m stressed, and what I do manage to write doesn’t have as much quality.

46: Sort Protagonists      !!! There are too many!! these are just the Big Ones (so far) in witch noir      Gryffindor - toots, eddie, maddie, anca, seth      Hufflepuff - lily, charisma, s.j., angel, iris      Ravenclaw - fred, ariel, dido, father piero      Slytherin - evelyn, jessica, sloan, clara-claudia, aixa

47: Five Year Goal     Hopefully I will have fucking finished something. Maybe published? Or maybe getting my manuscript looked at. (I have a humble-ish time frame, I think. Writing is a lot of work, and five years is a lot less time than it sounds like.)

48: Co-Writing     I’m a huge control freak, so probably not. At least not with original characters. Maybe for fic tho, because that can be much lower stakes lmao.

49: Fast or Slow     When I’m in The Zone I speed thru, but it can take me a while to get started and I come up on blocks pretty often so I’m a slow finisher.

50: Worldbuilding or Characters     Shit man, that’s a tough choice. I guess characters? I don’t know.

[astramachina]

omg i love all the hp questions sooo i want to ask you for all of them :D if you don't have time, choosing your fav 10 would be lovely too. <3

i’m gonna be a total ass and answer all of them (or at least try???) (i answered this forever ago and apparently i saved to drafts rather than post it i am an idiot)

1. HOGWARTS HOUSE?

RAVENCLAW REPRESENT!

2: PATRONUS?

A field mouse. (Kinda underwhelmed by that but apparently the most powerful patronus ever cast was a field mouse??? so i guess that’s pretty neat.)

3: BUTTERBEER, FIRE WHISKY, OR PUMPKIN JUICE

Butterbeer!

4: DIAGON ALLEY OR HOGSMEADE?

Diagon

5: FAVORITE SHOP?

Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes!

6: YOUR QUIDDITCH TEAM?

Holyhead Harpies~

7: TOP FIVE SHIPS?

Drarry, Wolfstar, Linny, Neville/Ginny, Scorbus

8: OTP?

Draco/Harry cause i’m predictable trash

9: NOTP?

Snape/Lily mostly

10: HOGWARTS, BEAUXBATONS, OR DURMSTRANG?

THIS IS HARD BECAUSE I LIKE ALL THREE??? but i guess beauxbatons??

11: YOUR WAND?

Fir wood with dragon heartstring core

12: OWL, CAT, OR TOAD?

Cat

13: CHARACTER YOU MOST IDENTIFY WITH?

draco malfoy if we remove the whole SPOILED RICH KID thing out of the equation

14: CHARACTER YOU HATE FOR NO GOOD REASON?

JAMES POTTER I’M SORRY

15: CHARACTER YOU WOULD BRING BACK TO LIFE?

TOO MANY TO NAME

16: CHARACTER YOU JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY?

draco malfoy ;o;

17: WHAT DOES AMORTENTIA SMELL LIKE TO YOU?

…..i…. dk….??? pine trees?? and, uh, idfk.

18: FAVORITE HOGWARTS CLASS?

defense against the dark arts

19: LEAST FAVORITE HOGWARTS CLASS?

herbology maybe

20: FAVORITE PROFESSOR?

minerva mcG

21: CENTAURS, MERMAIDS, OR GHOSTS?

ghosts??

22: CHOCOLATE FROGS OR BERTIE BOTT’S?

chocolate frogs

23: ZONKO’S OR WEASLEY’S WIZARD WHEEZES?

WWW!

25: THE LEAKY CAULDRON OR THE THREE BROOMSTICKS?

i’ve been to the three broomsticks and let me tell you the food is severely lacking. now, the leaky cauldron??? their fish & chips are a+

26: LOWKEY SHIPS?

….. me/hjp

27: FAVORITE MARAUDER?

FUCKING…. UH…. PADFOOT???

28: THE KNIGHT BUS OR BROOMSTICK TRAVEL?

broomstick travel.

29: UNICORNS OR THESTRALS

thestrals.

30: YOUR GO TO SPELL?

lumos, probably. 

31: QUIDDITCH POSITION OR SPECTATOR?

bitch you better give me a spot on the team.

32: FAVORITE FRIENDSHIP?

harry/luna!!!

33: ANIMAGUS?

a cat, maybe. 

34: WIZARDING WORLD JOB?

freelance curse-breaker, probs. or DADA professor.

35: YOUR BROOMSTICK TYPE?

IDFK, YO

36: DREAM YULE BALL DATE?

draco, probably. i bet the fuck can dance better than anyone else there.

37: GOBSTONES OR WIZARD CHESS?

wizard chess. i don’t want no funky ass shit spraying on me.

38: CROOKSHANKS OR PIGWIDGEON?

CROOKSHANKS.

39: POTIONS EXPERT OR CHARMS EXPERT?

charms

40: FAVORITE COMMON ROOM?

ravenclaw, duh.

41: THE QUIBBLER OR THE DAILY PROPHET?

the quibbler.

42: FAVORITE OF THE GOLDEN TRIO?

ALL THREE THERE I CHEATED

43: FANTASTIC BEASTS OR THE CURSED CHILD?

……… uhm they both had their weakness and strong points but since i’m still salty over the huge NO HOMO at the end of CC i’ma go with fantastic beasts.

44: INVISIBILITY CLOAK, ELDER WAND, OR RESURRECTION STONE?

invisibility cloak? it’s the one i’m most likely to use??

45: FAVORITE MINOR CHARACTER?

I D K !!!

46: HARRIS OR GAMBON?

Gambon, altho he’s a little EXTRA more often than not.

47: WOULD YOU APPARATE?

probably? i feel like i’d hate it tho

48: FAVORITE BOOK?

IDK BECAUSE I DON’T REMEMEBER JACKSHIT ABOUT THE BOOKS

49: FAVORITE MOVIE?

POA, def. 

50: WHO WOULD YOUR BFF BE?

neville, i feel. cause he’s super mellow and chill as opposed to everyone else’s… everything.

[cptsdofficial]

1-170 : * )

 Ask me! I'll answer honestly jesus fucking hell here we go

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? tbh i’m pretty ok with my height maybe like one (1) inch taller2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) i want a sphynx cat shgdhg3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? i like all kinds of styles’ Aesthetic but mine is wearing the same ten t shirts over and over4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Ocarina of Time5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: Jacob, dying and going to sleep6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? emotionally unstable7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? i Hate candy corn its Disgusting8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] melancholic have u seen my blog9: Are you ticklish? yea10: Are you allergic to anything? I’m allergic to Nut11: What’s your sexuality? people who give me attention12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? coffee13: Are you a cat or dog person? i like both but! probably more dog14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? vampire15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? youtube is a sin16: How tall are you? 5′8?17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? i chose my name lol bye18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] too much lol19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? idk not really but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯20: Do you like space or the ocean more? space!21: Are you religious? no22: Pet peeves? being alive

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? nocturnal

24: Favorite constellation? don’t have one25: Favorite star? don’t have one26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? no?27: Any phobias or fears? bugs28: Do you think global warming is real? who am i trump29: Do you believe in reincarnation? idk i don’t really Believe in it that much but i don’t believe against it30: Favorite movie? Totoro probably

31: Do you get scared easily? pretty much32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? idk a few34: What is a color that calms you? green or purple35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? i wanna visit Japan36: Where were you born? Indiana37: What is your eye color? brown38: Introvert or extrovert? introvert39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? not really but i still read them40: Hugs or kisses? neither lol

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? god42: Who is someone you love deeply? jacob43: Any piercings you want? no44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? on other people yeah, i kinda want tattoos45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? smoke what lol i’m kidding yeah46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! no47: What is a sound you really hate? me talking48: A sound you really love? cronch49: Can you do a backflip? who am i sportacus50: Can you do the splits? no51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Samira Wiley!52: Favorite movie? whys this on here twice bye53: How are you feeling right now? like i still have 120 questions to go54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? what it is55: When did you feel happiest? with @cruelknives56: Something that calms you down? I’ve never once been calm in my life57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] lol58: What does your URL mean? it means i’m a borderline and i’m also an ass59: What three words describe you the most? Bad Awful Theworst 60: Do you believe in evolution? it doesn’t matter if u believe in it or not it’s still tru lol61: What makes you unfollow a blog? everything62: What makes you follow a blog? bad content63: Favorite kind of person: Jacob64: Favorite animal(s): idk but i have rats65: Name three of your favorite blogs. mine66: Favorite emoticon: i’m on desktop but the sparkle or the bee67: Favorite meme: all memes are bad68: What is your MBTI personality type? infp!69: What is your star sign? cancer71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? the same ones72: Post a selfie or two? http://generallyqueer.tumblr.com/tagged/my-face73: Do you have platform shoes? no 74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? my head hurts75: Can you do a front flip? no76: Do you like birds? yea77: Do you like to swim? i used to but now dysphoria78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? swimming79: Something you wish didn’t exist: me lol80: Some thing you wish did exist: money in my wallet81: Piercings you have? only my ears82: Something you really enjoy doing: sleeping83: Favorite person to talk to: Jacob84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? bad85: How many followers do you have? on this blog, 19986: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? hwo is this someone healthy87: Do your socks always match? my socks haven’t matched in eight years88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? idk buut i’m not gonna try89: What are your birthstones? pearl and alexandrite!90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? frog91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? i.. don’t kno somebody tell me my aesthetic flower92: A store you hate? all of them93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? is that a challenge94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? fly cause my brain is enough95: Do you like to wear camo? never in my life96: Winter or summer? neither97: How long can you hold your breath for? don’t know not gonna try98: Least favorite person? me lol  jake99: Someone you look up to: death himself100: A store you love? idk pac sun

101: Favorite type of shoes high tops102: Where do you live? florida103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? no104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? rose quartz probably!105: Do you drink milk? yea106: Do you like bugs? No!107: Do you like spiders? No!!!!108: Something you get paranoid about? being alive lol109: Can you draw: technically yes110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? idk111: A question you hate being asked? to describe myself112: Ever been bitten by a spider? idk113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? yea114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? cloudy115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: mothman116: Favorite cloud type: idk117: What color do you wish the sky was? idk118: Do you have freckles? no119: Favorite thing about a person: gives me attention120: Fruits or vegetables? fruit121: Something you want to do right now: stop answering these122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? sky123: Sweet or sour foods? sweet124: Bright or dim lights? dim125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? me126: Something you hate about Tumblr: www.tumblr.com127: Something you love about Tumblr: validation128: What do you think about the least? idk129: What would you want written on your tombstone? it was lit fam130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? myself131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? my entire appearance 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? rarely133: Computer or TV? computer134: Do you like roller coasters? yea135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? not that often136: Are your ears lobed or attached? lobed137: Do you believe in karma? kind of138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? -1 but also 11139: What nicknames do you have/have had? who140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? not really141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? no142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? lol i influence people143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? giving144: What makes you angry waking up every day145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 1146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? tbh who knows I lean towards mostly nb people and male-aligned ppl i think?? but i’m probably also aro so?? god147: Are you androgynous? I try148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: eyelashes149: Favorite thing about your personality: my 2 personality disorders150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. no one

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? dinosuars so i could get destroyed by that meteor152: Do you like BuzzFeed? no154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? no cause i don’t really touch people lol155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? no156: What embarrasses you? being alive157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: being alive158: Biggest lie you have ever told: i convinced my mom i was stabbed when i was seven159: How many people are you following? 205160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? 1,400161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? 9162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? 195163: Last time you cried and why: today because my rat was mad at me164: Do you have long or short hair? short165: Longest your hair has ever been: like down to my ass it was bad166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? I mean, i have opinions on religion as a whole (i’m not religious myself) but really idc, i just respect everyone’s beliefs167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? tbh? not really168: Do you like to wear makeup? no169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? no170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? yea

[motownrundown]

Weekend Jorts V: NFL vs. Detroit

I wasn’t even planning on writing anything for Weekend Jorts this week. I’ve been working on a little passion project article the last few weeks that is about 99% ready to go.

But Jorts care not what my plans are. They just appear with the sole intent of causing as much inconvenience as possible before crawling back to their domain.

The Detroit Lions wrapped up another season this past Sunday against the Minnesota Vikings, losing 37-35 in front of the cardboard cutout fans. Many people, myself included, wanted Detroit to lose. Winning the game served no good purpose for either team, and both squads gave it their best effort (or lack thereof) to chalk one up in the “L” column. Obviously, a Lions win would wreak havoc on Detroit’s upcoming NFL Draft position. And with a general manager and head coaching vacancy still to be filled, we needed to do everything possible to make those job openings as attractive as possible. So you may question why the what happened to the Lions on Sunday had me and so many other likeminded fans upset, and I’ll get to that later, but first... Let’s chat about Tracy Walker’s roughing the passer penalty.

With 10:32 to play in the 4th quarter, on a 4th-and-goal from Detroit’s 1-yard line, Lions safety Tracy Walker seemed to come up with huge sack on Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins. The Vikings lead by just two points, and the stop would’ve given Detroit the ball back, with all the momentum on their side.

But NFL official Adrian Hill saw it differently, and flagged Tracy Walker for roughing the passer.

What’s even worse, is that after the game, Hill actually defended his call.

When asked what made Walker’s tackle a foul in his eyes, Hill said “By rule, one of the categories for roughing-the-passer is full body weight, where the tackler lands with his full body weight on the quarterback. That’s the category this play fell into.”

Now this is just absolutely absurd. I haven’t seen anyone other than Hill say that he believes this tackle would fall under that description. Hits like this occur in the NFL every single week, and are not flagged. If the wording of the rule constitutes that as roughing the passer, then the rule needs to be changed. I don’t know why the NFL leaves any interpretation to what roughing the passer is.

The reporter who sat down with Hill challenged him on this, saying “It kind of looked like the defender grabbed the quarterback and his momentum rolled him off.”

Ahh, someone with common sense.

Not so shockingly, Hill didn’t agree.

“The momentum doesn’t play a role, and the rolling off afterwards does not play a role. It’s that initial contact to the ground. If you roll off afterwards, that doesn’t eliminate the foul.”

But when you’re digging your own grave, you’ve got to make sure you dig the whole six feet.

When asked what Walker could’ve done differently to avoid the flag, Hill responded with, “A lot of the techniques that defensive coaches are teaching include kind of a barrel roll, where you grab the player to the side and you take him down to your side and roll, rather than coming down with your full body weight.”

So, let me get this straight. Rolling off of Cousins didn’t eliminate the flag, but his suggestion is to... roll off of Cousins?

The call was an absolute embarrassment to the NFL, and the latest middle finger to the Detroit Lions. Every team in the league gets screwed by a bad call every now and then, but the Lions are screwed more often, and in much grander fashion, than anyone any other team.

There’s of course the infamous “Calvin Johnson Rule”, that made the phrase, “the process of the catch” a household phrase to football fans. Calvin had caught a would be go-ahead touchdown pass from Shaun Hill with 24 seconds to go in the 2010 season opener against Chicago. Both feet in bounds, and had possession as he went to the ground as well, but as Calvin got up to celebrate his touchdown, he left the ball on the ground, and the officials, even after review, decided that Calvin had not completed the “process” even though he maintained possession (one handed, might I add) as he went to the ground.

There’s the 2015 game against Seattle on Monday Night Football, again involving Calvin Johnson. Kam Chancellor had forced Johnson to fumble at the goal line, and Seattle linebacker KJ Wright batted the ball out of the end zone, right in front of a official, but no penalty was called. Had the correct call been made, Detroit would’ve had a first-and-goal inside the one yard line.

In a 2017 contest against the Atlanta Falcons, Golden Tate capped off an incredible two-minute drill with what appeared to be the game winning touchdown with eight seconds to go. This play featured a double kick to the nuts. First off, Tate’s touchdown was overturned, even though you still to this day can’t convince me that Tate was short of the end zone before being touched. But that was the call the refs made, in what would end up being the last play of the game. Since Tate was ruled down in bounds, that meant the clock would’ve continued running, and by rule, a ten second runoff was applied. Had Detroit still had a timeout, they could’ve used one to prevent the runoff. In short, the Lions got screwed because the officials fucked up.

Detroit vs. the refs isn’t a new thing. On the day Barry Sanders broke the 2,000-yard threshold in 1997, the Pontiac Silverdome was rocking. The crowd got so loud in fact, that the officials essentially gave the New York Jets two free timeouts, because they deemed that the crowd was too loud. Jets QB Neil O’Donnell pleaded with officials that the crowd was so loud they couldn’t execute a play, which is just absurd. Head official Dick Hantak got on the microphone asking the crowd to be quiet so they could run a play, and when the crowd did not comply, Hantak threatened to charge the Lions with a timeout. Now there were rules in the NFL at the time that regulated crowd noise, so this was completely within the rules, but I can’t find any other footage of this rule being invoked, and any google search just leads me to this game at the Silverdome.

In one of the few Lions postseason games I’ve been treated to in my lifetime, in the 2014 Wild Card game, the Lions were putting together a late drive against the Dallas Cowboys, and on a crucial 3rd-and-1 play late in the game, Dallas LB Anthony Hitchens was all over Detroit Lions TE Brandon Pettigrew, and initially, the refs agreed, and threw the flag. But for no good reason at all, that flag was picked up and no penalty was issued, and Dallas would end up winning 24-20.

In the final seconds of a 2015 divisional clash with the Packers, Green Bay was pulling out all the stops to set themselves up for a Hail Mary play, when one would be gifted to them. Lions DE Devin Taylor was flagged for grabbing the face mask of Aaron Rodgers, when he actually didn’t. We all know how that ended.

Whether it’s these big notable ones, or other moments that may get lost in the shuffle with the rest of the NFL’s screwing over of the Lions, such as in 2016 against the Bears, when officials called illegal hands to the face on the wrong team, that negated a big run from Dwayne Washington, the Lions have been disrespected by the NFL far too often.

“But you wanted them to lose, right? The blown call made it harder for them to win, you should be thankful”.

Except here’s my problem. One day down the road, just as has been the case in the past, something like this will go against Detroit and cost them, like the picked up flag in the Dallas game. This just continues the utter disrespect shown to the Lions by the NFL, and it needs to change. I mean, think about it, can you remember a moment where the Lions were on the benefitting end of a bad call like the ones mentioned above? Because I can’t.

The Lions are the NFL’s red-headed stepchild, we don’t get the respect the other 31 teams get. Teams like Green Bay, or Dallas, or New England don’t have these type of calls go against them. And if this Sunday is any indication, that won’t be changing any time soon.

Detroit vs. Everybody.

Thank you for checking out this edition of Weekend Jorts, you can follow me on Instagram @motownrundown, and Twitter @MotownRundown_. You can also like Motown Rundown on Facebook. My personal account is @twitchynitch on all social media platforms. I hope you enjoyed, and let me know what you thought of this weeks’ Jorts.

[joshmspicer]

Omfg “talk about” is a lot cuter than ask me

Nabbed from @qookyquiche​

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. I saw a trailer for it ages ago and I didn’t know what it was, so I decided to sit down and [watch it legally online] and I fell in love with it. Secret of Kells is a damn treasure.

2: Talk about your first kiss. Never had one.

3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for. Oh man. If we’re talking legitimate romance than I she was my coworker and eventual employee, but I knew her for a solid three years but never could or just never did ask about her. We got along so great and had so many shared interests. She always talked about her boyfriend and how she bagged on him for caring more about himself and his school than a girlfriend, which would be fine, but he literally had no time for her and it hurt to hear.

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far. Leaving Minneapolis completely when my dad died.

5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had. Didny Worl

6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had. The one where my cat died, my dog died, or my Grandma died?

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity. I just want everyone to like me or like the person I am. If somebody doesn’t like me I’d like to figure out why.

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of. I wrote the first draft of a novel.

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. My hair. My feet.

10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had. My mom and I really got into it one time after she stole from me due to her gambling addiction than tried to kill herself (she didn’t succeed and that was years ago). Pretty sure we didn’t talk for a few days after that despite being in the same house.

11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had. My Grandma had died fairly recently and I had this dream where my family and I were at a mall and my Grandma came down an escalator wearing this beautiful flowing white dress. My family and I ran towards her and we all just smiled and had a good time for how little the dream lasted.

12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had. Couldn’t tell you for sure but I was in bed, might’ve had sleep paralysis, but this weird creature just kinda came down from the ceiling and jumped on me. Woke up gasping. Woke my sister up in the room next door.

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. This is weird. I guess we’re--I’d rather not. I wouldn’t know where to start.

14: Talk about a vacation. Went to the Mississippi for one of my birthdays. Stayed in a nice cabin and had a great time with my family. Went fishing a couple days, went to a mine where we were early but the guys let us come upstairs and hang around for a bit until they were ready. They gave us soda which for a kid as young as me made them instantly cool. The mine itself was awesome. I got a nice science book for my birthday that I fell in love with. I got hay fever in the middle but all in all I had a great time.

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life. Late 2011 to Early 2012. I’ve talked about it extensively but as part of the brony fandom I felt like I had found my place. I was making consistent (albeit shitty) raps, consistent (albeit shitty) stories, I was on top of the world as a mod for Mic, I felt like I could do no wrong. I didn’t have a job and stayed up until 3 AM almost everyday, sometimes later depending on the day or just if I forget to sleep or not. I even modded the stream for the January BronyCon and Alex S’ debut of “We Only Got One Life to Live” was the absolute peak moment for me.

16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to. I have literally never been to a party.

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with. He’s a guy who isn’t afraid to tell you what he thinks even if he’s a fucking prick about it, but the guy is genuinely nice and wants to help you out if he trusts you. He’s a guy where I can’t tell if he likes me or not depending on the week.

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school. Pokemon craze went wild and I had two friends that I absolutely adored and were totally into it. Almost everything we did was Pokemon related.

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school. Fuck middle school. With a fucking passion. Worst time of my life. Fuck it. Hope it burns down.

20: Talk about something that happened in high school. I looked like McLovin a lot as a freshman and as the movie had just came out, I was called that a lot. I just accepted it and rode that shit to the end. I was like by a lot of people but it still felt fake at times.

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. I was in middle school. I was randomly asked by this person I don’t know. I guess we dated for like half a day but we never spoke to each other at all before or after.

22: Talk about your worst fear. I’ll be completely alone with nothing to go for me and it’ll be all my fault.

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down. Never asked anybody despite somebody apparently liking me since elementary school, even though it was obvious I liked her but apparently she didn’t want to ask?

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. A lot of the quotes I remember are shit I make up.

25: Talk about an ex-best friend. He was my best friend since middle school. I hung out at his house a lot but a lot of the time his “jokes” were pretty fucking rude and could border on sexual harassment, but since this was middle school, he was the only friend I basically had so I had to deal with him. It all came to ahead during high school when he brought along a guy who was really cool but kind of a tool, a guy who was a fucking prick but tried to hide behind the fact that he was uber fat, and a fucker who wouldn’t stop farting on you and used it as a joke while putting you down. The latter tried to fart on me again and I had enough so I grabbed the guy’s shirt and ripped it. Everybody blamed me (except for the first guy), of course, despite everything just kind of coming ahead. My “best friend”’s Dad kicked us out and sent us all home. My “best friend” dedicated a song on his CD in the car ride home to him and offered him a shirt. We dicked around in an Aegon parking lot near my house and they took my shoes, threatening to throw them in a nearby creek until a cop stopped us.

I saw my “best friend” later on when he invited me out, but because at this point I was much more confident and accepting of myself and he was still the same old dick, we didn’t do a whole lot before he took me back home. Apparently he’s doing better now? I don’t care.

26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick. Try to do not a goddamn thing but power through on my computer. Drink water and take pills.

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body. Eyes or their face.

28: Talk about your fetishes. Skirts are my true weakness. Clothed.

29: Talk about what turns you on. Skirts, again.

30: Talk about what turns you off. If somebody’s clearly not into something.

31: Talk about what you think death is like. Either we repeat the cycle with the same damn things forever, not remembering the previous life, things change in the next cycle, or we’re reincarnated as something or someone else.

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. We used to live in an old office building turned into a house across the street from a church. I learned to ride my bike in their parking lot and we used to play with a ball in a back part as well as on their playground.

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad. I shut myself in and try not to let anybody know I’m not happy. A lot of people who know me still know though.

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured. I broke my pinky on one of those rolling fences (because why not, it looked fun). My pinky nail was shoved in my hand while the ring finger and middle finger was just removed completely.

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. Being so hard on myself all the fucking time. Taking everything to heart. Saying the wrong shit at the wrong time. Stuttering all the fucking time. Knowing what to do and when to do it.

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures. I don’t believe in guilty pleasures, but I guess all the animation I watch. It’s fine to talk about here, but to do it with the people I hang out with is generally impossible.

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. This girl at work who I thought I liked but turned out to be somebody who loves to gossip and won’t stop bitching about people on the job.

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. Nah

39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier. How to be confident and not take too much shit. Or to stop crying at stupid times.

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.  The last time I had a serious and legitimate connection with one of my cousins was ages ago. The last time we spoke we basically agreed that we didn’t like who we were at that time. Now she has a fiance (probably at this point, it took him long enough) and is a common horse wrangler, something she loves, and I’m much more conversational and relax.

[junker-town]

Fumble Dimension #1: One year later.

Looking back at the first ever Fumble Dimension episode

It’s been over a year since Jon and I made the first ever Fumble Dimension episode, and want to tell you a little story about how working with Jon came to be. When I joined SB Nation, it was with the hope of eventually becoming a video personality ... or a do it all type person — writing, blogging or whatnot.

One and a half years on the social team pass and I start to realize something. I haven’t made a single serious style video since graduating from college. I needed to prove that I was serious about breaking into video, so in true Kofie fashion I made my own YouTube channel. About 18 months later, Ryan Nanni flies me up to New York to talk about my future with the company. I had a slideshow full of ideas that would suit my skills and weirdness. When I got to the meeting, Ryan said that Jon was getting his own wing and would like me to join up. I accepted on the spot, so we never went through my PowerPoint (ed note: we demand this Powerpoint be shown at our next group meeting).

When we were brainstorming names for what ultimately became Fumble Dimension, Jon suggested calling it “Nightmare,” after the Doom difficulty level. As we were working on the Death of Basketball video, however, Jon decided that we should change the name to indicate that the shows focus was weird first and challenging second. After a day of name vibing we settled on Fumble Dimension. It had been the first name Jon brought to the table and after brainstorming we realized we weren’t going to top it.

We chose a video remake of the “Death of Basketball” as our first episode for a couple of reasons. For one, we wanted to do an ode to those fans who were around during Jon’s NBA Y2K series. We didn’t know what Fumble Dimension was going to turn into. Hell, back then we didn’t even know what separates a Fumble Dimension from a “Let’s Play” on YouTube. We did know however, that the NBA Y2K would be a good starting baseline for what the series was and what it could become.

So what are we doing in this article? Well, in honor of one year since our debut episode we are going to take a look back. So let’s rewind.

Just kidding. No Rewinder this time. But we will be talking about certain points in the video and I’ll share some secrets about them. So let’s... begin? Yeah let’s begin.

1:01: I’m Jon Bois ... I’m not.

As a social media manager I would often see old videos get spammed with “THIS ISN’T JON” and “WHERE THE FUCK IS JON”. I knew that debuting with Jon on a 47-minute video would be putting myself under a big microscope. I wrote this goof to show that I’m fully aware that I’m not Jon — I’m Kofie, and you’re going to love me the more that you see me on film.

4:47 2k-35

When I saw Jon wrote this in the script I didn’t think it’d have a visual cue. When I first saw this I busted out laughing.

7:19 Eye injury

Every damn year, I had to press A like 80 times because everyone had an eye injury.

11:06 I didn’t think the rookies would retire already lmao

13:29 PER

We decided to make PER charts for every year that we could, and then failed to actually go over them for every video. Hell, we didn’t even put them in the directors commentary.

19:45 LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

As a Pistons fan, this was hilarious to me. In the Fumble Dimension we actually win back-to-back titles. I’ll probably never see that in my lifetime, and I’ve come to terms with it.

22:02 The players are fake

This photo is significant because we have been putting our 40 overall army into the game every season during this experiment. Seeing this player alarmed me because not only is he not a 40 overall, he’s not even a real basketball player. Our experiment was being invaded by frauds! It reminds me of the “Whose man is this” scene in the third Pirates of the Caribbean.

When I found out about the fake players that were taking roster spots from our 40 overall draft class, I was PISSED. I thought I would have to do the whole entire experiment over again. Which I was not happy about because it took me WEEKS to do the simulation. However, Fumble Dimension works best when things don’t go according to plan so we decided to keep that in.

25:05

Kevin Knox, 4-time All-Star. Huh.

30:59

STEPH CURRY REALLY DOESN’T AGE.

37:28

So it seems like NBA 2k has a generic highlights montage where they fit whatever players into the same animation montage no matter who is in the finals. The problem here is that that montage usually has someone dunking and there was no one in our league that could do that. That game doesn’t know that so that’s why the ball is so far away from the guy attempting the worst dunk of all time. It does its best, which is gloriously bad.

The one thing I do regret about Fumble Dimension 1 is not audio mixing it very well. I hadn’t had to deal with audio mixing on that level before, so I didn’t know until after the video went out that it was mixed poorly. I’m so sorry y’all.

Anyway, that’s all from me today. Now I’m going back to work on the next Fumble Dimension. It might be the funniest one yet or incredibly boring. I can’t tell yet.

[flauntpage]

The Darkest, Saddest Place in Sports: A Los Angeles Chargers Home Game

The Chargers are the saddest franchise in the history of sports. We don't give them enough credit. Maybe because San Diego was too sunny, or maybe because they never quite sink to the depths of the Cleveland Browns or the Philadelphia 76ers, but if you ask any Chargers fan they will immediately rattle off a litany of heartbreak that I would challenge anyone outside Buffalo to adequately match.

Last Sunday, the Chargers played their first regular season game in a city that doesn't want them to a tiny stadium half-full of opposing fans. Even in the parking lot at StubHub Center, the 27,000 seat home of Major League Soccer's Los Angeles Galaxy, the gap was obvious. Visiting Miami Dolphins jerseys dominated.

Chargers jerseys were hard to come by at the home opener. Photo by Michael Hafford.

StubHub, by the way, is an excellent place to see a football game. Since the venue is about a third the capacity of a typical NFL stadium, there's no upper deck and therefore no bad seats. It's like seeing football in a nightclub. Not that any Chargers fans noticed; hardly anyone came. I walked up to the box office about a half hour before kickoff and was moderately shocked to learn that I could still buy seats for $160. I say shocked, but I wasn't surprised; the stands were at about 60% capacity until the end of the first quarter.

The Chargers fans who did show up were nearly universally dejected. Before the game, a plane flew over Carson's StubHub Center carrying a banner reading "WORST OWNER IN SPORTS? DEAN SPANOS, PAY YOUR RENT!" The banner wasn't alone. I heard numerous calls for Spanos to sell the team and saw at least one shirt—in the Chargers' font no less—calling for the sale of the franchise.

Tim Finley, who could well be a member of the Fraternal Order of Real Beard Santas, was decked from head to toe in Chargers-branded apparel. He's been a season ticket holder for 32 years but sold all his games but this one.

"It's like having been married and having the woman walk out on you," he said of the team's move up to Los Angeles.

He attributes the move to greed on the part of the Spanos family, claiming the franchise increased in value from $800 million to $1.5 billion. He's wrong, but he's on the low end: the value went from $1.5 billion to $3 billion.

Another fan, Jonathan Giuliano, understood the move. He's 32 years old and has been a fan since birth. Uncharacteristically for the fans I spoke with, he was sanguine about the team's prospects.

"The city of San Diego didn't support the team like other NFL teams," he said. "There are lots of fans from [Los Angeles]. We have a QB, we're not starting from scratch. Nobody wants to be a Rams fan."

Dolphins fans, not notorious for traveling well, or even attending their team's home games, filled at least half the stadium. "Let's go Dolphins" chants broke out more often than their Chargers' equivalents. One came during the walk through the opening gates. I sat next to Marc Caress, a very friendly 43-year-old county attorney and Dolphins fan with a salt-and-pepper beard who said the sparse attendance was about the same as a typical Galaxy regular season game—he's a season ticket holder.

The Chargers managed to mess things up for the Galaxy, too, as the NFL-mandated that they replace metal bleachers with folding seats at StubHub, resulting in higher ticket prices for soccer fans—in some cases as much as $100 higher. The beer got more expensive, too, in the space of a day, from $13 at Galaxy games to $14 for Chargers games.

"I get the nickle-and-diming stuff," Caress said, "but it's ridiculous."

Even the refs didn't want the Chargers to move. Late in the fourth quarter, one of them announced a timeout for San Diego before correcting himself.

"The Los Angeles Chargers of San Diego," a Dolphins fan ahead of me howled. I couldn't argue with him.

© Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

The Chargers are, in fact, in Los Angeles, not that anyone wants them here—USC outdrew the Chargers and Rams combined last weekend—and losing football games in even more spectacular fashion than usual. Even Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti thinks the team should have stayed put. Maybe that's a rational response, to keep the most cursed football franchise as far away from your city as humanly possible. I can't say I blame anyone. The Chargers' history is a sordid one.

Perhaps the perfect early encapsulation of the early heartbreak was the 1982 playoffs, when the Chargers won an impossible game in Miami on the back of two (two!) blocked field goals, Kellen Winslow sacrificing his body so completely that it took two teammates to carry him off the field. Next, they played the Bengals at Cincinnati's Riverfront Stadium. That game, the Freezer Bowl, was the coldest in terms of wind chill in NFL history. The effective temperature difference between the two games—from a humid 88 in Miami to a frigid -37 in Cincinnati—was 125 degrees. They lost by 20.

The Chargers' lone Super Bowl appearance, in 1995—a game they reached after overcoming second half deficits in their previous two playoff games—featured a quarterback matchup between Steve Young and someone named Stan "the Man" Humphries, a former Redskins backup and I-AA quarterback (who may sadly be third-best passer in Chargers history). The 49ers were favored by 18 ½. They won by 23.

Two years after their Super Bowl loss, the Chargers were in a no-lose situation at the top of the 1998 draft. Peyton Manning and Ryan Leaf headlined the prospects that year. Manning was considered the more polished of the two quarterbacks, with a striking maturity and an NFL pedigree. Leaf, by contrast, had more physical tools and a much higher ceiling. But he didn't want to go to Indianapolis. So the Colts settled for Manning at first overall, and the Chargers got Leaf, who bounced out of the NFL by 2002 and was in and out of jail on drug-related offenses until 2014. His journey to sobriety is an inspirational story—he's now an ambassador for a chain of recovery communities called Transcend—but let's ask Pro Bowl safety Rodney Harrison about that 1998 season:

He told Sports Illustrated that it was "a nightmare you can't even imagine." "If I had to go through another year like that," he continued, "I'd probably quit playing." He didn't, winning his release from the Chargers after the 2002 season, and winning the Super Bowl with the Patriots the next year. He's just one of many Bolts that saw their fortunes turn more or less the second they departed the team.

Of course, nothing stays terrible forever. The team finished 1-15 in 2000, which gave them the top pick in the draft. They traded down and drafted LaDainian Tomlinson and Drew Brees in the first and second rounds, hired Marty Schottenheimer before the 2002 season, and rattled off a series of successful seasons the franchise hadn't seen since the early 1980s. The Chargers took Philip Rivers between Eli Manning and Ben Roethlisberger in 2004, two iconic morons (and, in Roethlisberger's case, alleged sex criminal) who both happen to have won two Super Bowls each. Rivers sat on the bench until the end of 2005, when Brees suffered a torn labrum. Brees walked to the New Orleans Saints and promptly revitalized the city of New Orleans following the devastation of Hurricane Katrina, set passing records, and won the Super Bowl.

But the Chargers weren't slowed! In 2006, the team finished 14-2. They didn't make the Super Bowl. That would be because of their divisional round game against the New England Patriots, better known to Chargers fans as the Marlon McCree Game. Despite a typically poor series of decisions and bad plays—a muffed punt and the bizarre choice to go for it on 4th-and-11—the Chargers looked to seal a 21-13 victory when safety Marlon McCree picked off Tom Brady late in the 4th quarter. Of course, he tried to return the ball, fumbled, and had it scooped up by ex-Charger Reche Caldwell. Five snaps later, Caldwell then hauled in the winning touchdown pass. Chargers head coach Marty Schottenheimer would never coach in the NFL again and Caldwell would later Google his way to prison.

Oh, and things do not stop there. The Chargers have won 5 of their last 24 games decided by one score or less. Philip Rivers, renowned for his accuracy, has led the league in interceptions two of the past three years, beaten out only by the legendary Blake Bortles. Their losses have come in inconceivable ways. Last year, the Chargers were leading the Saints by 13 with less than seven minutes left. First round pick Melvin Gordon fumbled on first down to allow the Saints to drive 13 yards and bring the game within a score. On the Chargers' next drive, an untouched Travis Benjamin threw the ball on the ground to allow the Saints to drive for the winning score.

Heartbreak, now available in Los Angeles. Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

An article from last year headlined "Once again, Chargers find new way to fail," detailed holder Drew Kaser dropping the snap for the potential game-winning field goal against the hated Raiders. Last year, they lost to the Browns on Christmas Eve. Just last week, their undrafted but much-heralded kicker Yonghoe Koo—he hadn't missed inside 50 yards in his last college season, and was replacing the least accurate kicker in the league—made a game-tying kick. Of course, the Broncos had called time out. Of course, the Broncos blocked the next kick.

The fucked up thing is I actually enjoyed going through this litany, if only to remember seasons in which the team actually won games. The thing about truly sad teams is that they bring you within inches of the promised land and snatch it away from you. In the same way that bad smells have a hint of sweetness, which makes you keep sniffing and sniffing, trying to pick out that note, bad teams come within inches of glory before crushing your spirit.

Against this backdrop, I attended the first Los Angeles Chargers regular season home game in more than 55 years. (The team played one season in Los Angeles upon its founding in 1960). They open opened the ceremonies in their new old hometown by inducting LaDanian Tomlinson into whatever off-brand name the Chargers have for their ring of honor. The silence was deafening.

"Why don't you sit on the bench in a dark helmet again?!" one non-silent fan yelled, referring to the 2008 playoff game Tomlinson had to largely sit out due to an excruciating knee injury. The curse makes people do crazy things.

I wondered how the in-stadium director managed to find contiguous rows of Chargers fans to show on-screen during the game. I certainly couldn't spot more than a few blue jerseys in a row. The video board operator seemed to, at times, be throwing a bone to Dolphins fans. There was a strange segment in which Miami and Los Angeles were compared and contrasted. The Dolphins had Miami Vice, the Chargers had CHIPs. The Dolphins had sunrise, the Chargers had sunset. The Chargers had Shaq, the Dolphins had older Shaq.

Former Van Halen frontman Sammy Hagar was one of the Dolphins fans in attendance. I caught up with Hagar—who is, by the way, pathologically friendly—on the concourse during the third quarter after he finished shaking hands with a half dozen fans. Earlier, I had walked by him and thought "that Dolphins fan looks a lot like a much older Sammy Hagar." It was, in fact, the actual Hagar. He bemoaned the Charger's move.

"They should have worked something out like the Packers" he said of the city of Green Bay's ownership of their team. "I'm glad the Faders—I call them the Faders—are in Las Vegas but the Chargers should have stayed in San Diego."

When you're skilled at team name puns. Photo by Michael Hafford.

More troubling than the Dolphins jerseys were the fans that came wearing jerseys from other teams entirely. In the parking lot, I began counting other teams' jerseys. A man named Memo wearing a Aaron Rodgers jersey described himself as "a die-hard fan." Of what? He shrugged; he just came as a carpool buddy. He was far from alone. The jerseys I saw: the Bears, Curtis Martin, a Seahawks 12th fan, Matthew Stafford, Mason Crosby, Terry Bradshaw, Julio Jones, Larry Fitzgerald, Jason Witten, Priest Holmes, Kevin Durant, a smattering of custom Broncos jerseys, Dak Prescott, Tim Couch, Bo Jackson, John Elway, Amari Cooper, matching A.J. Greens (on a father and daughter), Packers Charles Woodson, Brian Urlacher, two more Aaron Rodgers, Troy Polamalu, matching Packers Reggie Whites (on a husband and wife), Carson Wentz, and Anthony Barr. Of course, there were dozens more in team shirts and USC or UCLA jerseys. I gave those people a pass; at least they got the city right.

A moment of levity came in the second half as Antonio Gates, among the first to make the basketball-to-football transition that has since become cliche for pass-catching tight ends, set the record for all time tight end touchdown receptions. A nice video from Tony Gonzalez fell on deaf ears. So, too, did a highlight reel from a Raiders win.

"Why would they show Raiders highlights?" Caress asked me.

I shrugged. Nobody cared.

Oh, and a game was played. The game turned on a series of bizarre late decisions by both teams. The Chargers were driving late and trying to rush their kicking unit onto the field with ten seconds left. The Dolphins called time out, presumably to ensure they could get a last Hail Mary attempt after the kick was made. But all this did was give Chargers kicker Koo time to actually set up. The kick went up. It looked good. A roar went up. Had we won? Was my theory dead? Then I saw the Dolphins rushing the field. Wide right. But the refs were waving as if to review. No dice, it was just to get the Dolphins back onto their sideline so Jay Cutler could line up in the victory formation.

As I walked out into the parking lot in a daze, I saw a kid in an "All-In" Chargers shirt with tears streaming down his face. I wanted to go up to him and tell him to run far, far away. But he picked up his pace. He had to catch up to his dad. They both had a long way to go.

The Darkest, Saddest Place in Sports: A Los Angeles Chargers Home Game published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv