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#4 shifts in a row never again man never again i am so tired my brain is nerfed and i can only rest for 1 day today because tomorrow i'm
zevrans · 6 months
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#so i finished my 4 out of 4th 12 hour shift in a row last night and i'm literally so exhausted and i was glitching mid simple tasks 🤡✌️#my coworker asked to change shifts so he could have that one specific day as off#and he managed to do some very critical mistakes in his 4 days prior and that's considering his gf is often with him there#and i was the one suffering the consequences even if it's literally not my fault#ever since i've got this job i've been fixing so many mistakes of his i kept wondering who's the newbie here??#like i try to leave my shift as good as possible i clean everything check everything and do all my duties#and when i come here after his shifts it's.. a fucktonne of work mistakes and literal dirt like dude!!!#4 shifts in a row never again man never again i am so tired my brain is nerfed and i can only rest for 1 day today because tomorrow i'm#going to a doc;#my social battery is not just dead it's nonexistent at this point#i just want to lay in bed and not be percieved or interacted with for at least the same amount of days 😫#i really thought i could take a socially demanding and rather multitasking job without it taking hugest toll on my mental state huh???#and i had such a bad sleep too i had a very graphic and sickening nightmare which woke me up 2 hours after i fell asleep#and then i woke 2 more times after that and i feel so exhausted and not rested at all and so fatigued i can't even do anything#man for me my sleep being interrupted is the worst like i function better if i have a smaller amount of sleep but it's uninterrupted#than longer in hours but it gets interrupted and i wake up even once#sorry i come here once in few days vent post and then dissapearvckfkv 😭 i miss tumblr but have no energy currently to even rb anything 🥲#tbd
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beckyluvsubby · 6 months
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Missed Connection V
F 30 depressed
Who still listens to songs
That make her cry on purpose
Just so she can feel the sting
Of being alive
And remember all her moments with you
Gelatin Heart
No tequila in her blood this time, just the ever present haze of THC
You
M 29 less confused now
You have succeeded in watching every single title
That Netflix has to offer
I suspect you’re still lying to your parents
About studying for exams
When we damn well know
You’re on your couch with a movie
And you still listen to the best music
Not just cheap country
You listen to the good kind
The kind that cuts deep
Like the heartache I feel now
And you feel
And hold me tenderly
Like you did when I couldn’t stop crying
After your best friend
Broke my heart
But this time, you don’t even know it
This time you broke my heart
And keep breaking it
Because after all these years I finally did it
I finally kissed you like I meant it
I finally held you close to me
I finally gave you my all
But now there are hundreds of miles between us
And a lifetime of memories we no longer share
And you hold me tightly
Letting me know it will be okay
Next time I am in town I will drive us again
To do the one thing I can do
When all else fails
Buy us some icees
I still remember
When time stopped
After that first night
And I gingerly brushed against your lips
And that moment is still perfect
Your lanky form against mine
Two lonely souls holding on
Even if it’s just for a night
It feels like forever
And I fell in love with you in that instant
And I fell in love with you again as we dug through records looking for the old man blues we both can’t stop listening to
And I fell in love with you again when your blue eyes looked off in the fast food line we were waiting far too long in
And I fell in love with you again when you stood a little too close to me at a show a little too loud for you because you knew the band was one of my favorites
And I fell in love with you again as you kissed me for the third time in a row in your kitchen before you went to work a shift that you were too tired for
Because I fell in love again the night before when we stayed up until 4 AM kissing some more
And fell in love with you again again when I found myself in your bed, in your arms
After all these years apart
But I will never tell you
I should have kept turning to you
All along
But now it’s four AM
And four weeks since I last left you behind in Baton Rouge
And I can’t sleep
Because I’m thinking about buying you an icee
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Books and Anxiety: Dating edition
a/n: sooo, I know this isn’t actually in the right order BUT. This story absolute slaps, like I’ve never been prouder of my writing. Historical AUs my beloved. If you enjoy this shit to give it some love folks, pls. 
Parings: analogical,  very background brotherly prinxiety and dukexiety as well as platonic logicality 
Warnings: a little bit of self deprecation, anxiety (this is Virgils pov), and one sex mention at the very end (just skip the bonus to avoid it) 
Word count: 1,260
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Virgil tapped his foot. Why had he thought this was a good idea. Stupid. Too many things could go wrong, they could get kicked out of the Library, Logan could decide he wasn’t worth the energy, Logan might not even show up! Maybe he had already realized how awful Virgil was and never wanted to see him again.  
He glanced at his watch, 4:46. Okay, Logan was 15 minutes late, there are worse things to be. Plenty of things could have happened between the printing press and the downtown library. 
Virgil watched as the horses trotted happily down the cobblestone street. Oh to be a horse. Free of cute boys who make your heart feel like it's gonna explode and then stand you up. 
It was shocking that Logan even saw something in Vigil. He didn’t particularly like standing out. His dirty grey trench coat and cap helped him blend into the grimy shadows. He wasn’t good-looking or particularly smart and worked in a factory. Whereas Logan was a brilliant budding writer who was, to put it lightly, ridiculously gorgeous. Yet he had asked Virgil out.
Virgil rubbed his face, in his rush to get to the library he had forgotten to wash it (shut up, he was excited). He had used a ‘borrowed’ kerchief from his brother Roman but there was probably soot covering his entire body. If Logan was to show up who’s to say he wouldn’t take one look at Virgil and leave.
  The man leaned against the tree behind him. Nodding to passersby and trying to look like he wasn’t screaming inside. 
Few more minutes of torture later, Logan made an appearance. His worn brown jacket and blue tie flapped behind him as he sprinted across the street towards Virgil. He was missing his hat and his brown hair was disheveled. “I am so sorry” he panted. 
Virgil put a hand on his shoulder, “s’ fine, I wasn’t here long” he said softly. Logan smiled, catching his breath, “thank goodness, I- well, I got caught up in an article and time escaped me, again” Virgil chuckled gently, “I could tell” he said, pointing to Logan’s ink-stained hands. 
Logan flushed a little and accepted the offered kerchief, wiping his hands vigorously. “So uh, the library” Virgil nodded, “after you” he murmured and smiled down at Logan as the lovely man’s blush only deepened. 
The downtown library was much smaller than the uptown one. It housed more rebellious volumes and the librarians were far nicer. It was an old brownstone that had been sold to the town a few years ago. The once lovely building was sorely neglected and had fallen into disrepair. The town didn’t want to spend much money on it, so they stuck some books inside. 
All in all a perfect first date for two gay men in the early 1900’s.
The librarian waved happily at Logan as he entered the building, “well how do ya do Mr. Berry” Logan smiled “I’m quite well Mx. Heart, this is my um- this is Virgil Storm” Mx. Heat beamed. “Oh my! I heard so much about you, would it be alright if I hugged you. Ohhh” Virgil looked at Logan, baffled, who shrugged. Mx. Heart wrapped Virgil in an impressively strong hug before ushering the two away. After all, it was a date. 
Virgil carefully walked through the crowded rows of books. Books were placed haphazardly on every available surface, the few desks had piles of books on and/or underneath them. 
Despite the chaos, Logan seemed to know exactly where everything was. Virgil nervously looked away from his date towards one of the books on top of the pile. 
‘The wild olive; by the basil king,’ someone liked food, goodness. Virgil put down the book and continued his search. His attention was caught by a big black book ‘spiders’ which was printed on the back in spindly silver font. Virgil’s breath caught slightly, as he picked up the heavy volume. 
“Found something?” Logan asked, Virgil startled and nearly dropped the book, “sorry,” Logan said scratching his neck, Virgil shook his head, “It's fine, I did, uh- it’s a book on arachnids. When I lived in the country I had a pet spider but it was um- killed…” 
“I’m sorry,” Logan said touching Virgil’s arm softly, “s fine, I mean- I wasn’t fine then” Virgil laughed awkwardly, “but it’s fine now” he shrugged. “Are we gonna find a desk or..” Logan shook his head, “no, I want to show you something”. He held out his hand, Virgil took it without hesitation.
Logan led Virgil across the room and into a small corner blocked off by a shelf. With his free hand, he pushed on the panels and it swung open like a door. 
The stairs going down were broken and blocked off but those going up seemed sturdy. Virgil stayed alert and ready to grab Logan should something was to go wrong. That would be a great way to spend a date, falling through a staircase and dying. 
The two made it up the stairs without incident. The room the staircase led to was also in disrepair but it had been patched up enough that no-one would be falling through the floor, though you never could tell. Virgil's brother Remus had taught him that. 
There was a cracked stained glass window that let in shards of colored light illuminating the room with beautiful hues of blue and purple. Cushions lined the room as well as quite a few blankets. A coffee table pressed up against the wall held an assortment of pens and pads of paper all decorated with the same slanted handwriting. There were also quite a few cups of cold tea across the room which made Virgil smile. 
“Well?” Logan asked a little nervously. “It’s beautiful” Virgil beamed. Logan looked very pleased with himself and led the man to a well-worn spot directly beneath the window. 
Virgil followed dutifully sitting just close enough to Logan for it to be flirty without invading personal space. He was adamant about respecting boundaries and at this point, Logan hadn’t set quite enough for him to initiate anything, though he wanted to. 
Logan shifted towards him (yeeessss) opening his book, it was on psychology, one of Logan’s many interests. Virgil opened his book, and let himself relax a little. 
Virgil’s watch ticked past 12, Logan was fully seated on Virgil’s lap and was reading excerpts from his book out loud. Virgil was smiling like a fool, absentmindedly branding the longer parts of Logan’s unruly chestnut hair. 
“While dreams are the compilation of memories and fantasy when studied mean- meaning can be derived from them *yawn* furthermore” Logan mumbled sleepily. 
Virgil laughed lightly, “Lo?” Logan hummed, letting the book fall onto his lap. “You need to go home?” Logan shook his head, “not really I- *yawn* no one’s expecting me” he said grinning up at Virgil who smiled right back down, “no one’s expecting me either” Logan hummed happily and leaned back into Virgil’s chest. 
The added weight surprised Virgil. He held Logan tightly as he lost his balance. They slid down the wall and landed with an oof onto Virgil’s back. The two tired men dissolved into giggles. 
Logan flipped onto his stomach and tucked his head into Virgil’s chest. “Night verge” Virgil smiled, “good night” he pressed a kiss into Logan’s hair and closed his eyes. 
*Bonus
“hem-hem” Logan blearily opened his eyes and was met with an angry Patton Heart. “did you have sex in my library!!!!”
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exosmutfactory · 3 years
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Six Phases 006 Pt 2
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Originally posted by exo-stentialism
Who knew it nearly took 6 months to win your heart, and 6 phases for Baekhyun to lose his mind.
A/N: sorry not sorry 😇🚗💨🔥
[ contains: romance, fluff, angst, & smut ]
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  P(1) P(2) | Part 4 P(1) P(2) | Part 5 P(1)  P(2) | Part 6 P(1)  P(2)✓ ----- P(3)   P(4) 
•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •
Somehow, waking up early on Saturday mornings had become a routine since that weekend. Between the plague-like thoughts that disrupted my sleep and how Baekhyun cutely requested for breakfast the next morning, I dragged my tired body out of bed and quickly whipped up some bacon with scrambled eggs. He insisted that my cooking was the best before the flavor even settled fully onto his tongue, counteracting my every protest with flustering compliments. I recall accidentally telling him he was full of shit—it was only a simple meal, after all. What is that compared to the hundreds of fancy restaurants he has dined in?
"Your food tastes like home," He argued between pacifying whines, back-hugging me in a way that always weakens my defenses. I begrudgingly agreed after convincing him to have turkey bacon from time to time. Pork has its place, and I preferably don't enjoy the breakfast variety all too often.
It's ridiculous what lengths I would go for this infuriatingly attractive man. If my weekend to-do list full of breakfast, groceries, and laundry is anything to go by, I wouldn't oppose being considered as "whipped" for him. It is what it is, man.
Every Saturday I am up and running by the time the sunlight breaks over the horizon. Regardless of how late I end up sleeping the night before, my eyes automatically open between the hours of 6 and 7; ready to climb out of bed as quietly as possible. Thankfully Baekhyun is a heavy sleeper who is content with hugging my pillow to his chest while I sneak off to the kitchen.
The aches in my body become very apparent the moment my foot touches the carpeted floor of our bedroom, a familiar feeling—welcomed almost, though I'd never tell Baekhyun that. His ego when it comes to things like this is big enough as it is.
Suppressing a shiver at the wintry morning air, I reach for his discarded shirt from the night before, tsking quietly at the two buttons missing from the top of the material. I swear he's the most annoyingly endearing man I've ever met. There's no other explanation for why I'm already planning what time to sew the buttons back on, carefully picking them up from the floor and leaving them on top of our shared dresser.
Luckily the remaining buttons are enough to shield my shoulders from the cold of the large apartment; the bottom of the shirt brushing against the back of my thighs as I make my way out into the hallway, gently closing the door behind me. In times like these I am grateful for Baekhyun's habit of leaving his house-slippers right outside of our bedroom. I rarely use mine despite his constant chastising. Some things in life are better bare.
Slipping into the slippers with ease, a smile tugs at my lips while shuffling quietly down the hallway. I usually keep breakfast simple: scrambled eggs, a few strips of bacon—maybe a pancake or two on a particularly good morning. Today, however, I'm in the mood for something more. Omelets, cinnamon buns, and the little sausages Baekhyun has adored lately.
Checking on the buns in the small conventional oven on the counter, I whisk away at the raw eggs that will make up Baekhyun's omelet, smoothing out the yolk entirely. A light breeze and soft kiss pressed to my shoulder break me out of my concentration. I could recognize those pouty lips anywhere.
"You're up early," I murmur, leaning back against his chest. Tilting my head up, I smile at his cute sleepy expression.
"Mmm," He manages to capture my lips in an upside-down kiss that melts me to my very core, his warm fingers seeping through the fabric of my borrowed shirt. "What are you up to?"
"Breakfast," I breathe, cheeks warming as he pulls away, quickly checking on the sizzling frying pan in front of me before he can catch me admiring his bare torso. "I got the sausages you like, Bae."
"Bae?"
The top of my head nearly slams into the bottom of the cabinets as I freeze in my tracks, frying pan clutched in hand. Shit, did I say that out loud? My face might as well be 50 shades of red. "I—I mean-"
Baekhyun plants a kiss on my head that throws my every thought out the window. "I love you." He hums, hugging me warmly before walking to the dining table. The view of his bare back as he runs a hand through his sleep-tousled hair is way too captivating for six-thirty in the damn morning.
I put my attention back on the pan, hurriedly removing it from the burner to slide the sausages onto a tray. 30 more seconds and I would have burned the damn things had I not shaken myself back into focus. "Jenny and the gang are coming over today."
"Today?"
I raise a brow at his tone. The high-pitched inquiry of his voice at the mention of his friends is a little suspect. Who was the genius that bragged so much about my BBQ short ribs everyone ended up inviting themselves over to our apartment? Shouldn't he remember our plans for tonight?
"Yes?" I drag out, tilting my head, looking at him skeptically with a hand on my hip, raising my spatula. "Did you forget?"
His silent form sitting rigidly at the table is enough of an answer. "N-" I raise my other brow. "Erm—M-Maybe?"
"Uh-huh." If he wasn't so adorable after just waking up with his lips tutted in a confused pout, I would give him hell. "I bought groceries yesterday, so we're only missing the wine-"
"I'm on it." Baekhyun perks up in his chair as if douched in cold water, pulling his phone out of nowhere. "Hyerin," He murmurs groggily, fumbling clumsily for a couple of seconds and slapping it to his ear in his hurry. "I need a bottle of Dom Perignon by 6:30. Thank you." The call is over in the span of 10 seconds. He sets the device next to his glass of orange juice on the table, busying himself with gulping down half of its contents. It takes a while for him to notice my bewildered gaze. "What?" He mumbles; orange pulp on his pouty lips.
I narrow my eyes, lowering the grease-covered frying pan back to the stove. "Who was that?" And how the fuck you just ordering Dom Perignon as if it doesn't cost my entire education expenses? If you just bought the $50k edition, I swear, Byun Baekhyun—"My new secretary." He yawns, stretching his arms above his head with a soft, content smile. "Come here." He mumbles, opening them towards me, his sleepy brown orbs fluttering sluggishly. "I miss you."
For a moment I just stare at him. "I'm right here..." I mutter softly, growing more aware of his current state by the minute. Those dark circles are committing the worst crime by being on his precious face. Carefully sliding his omelet onto a plate followed by a few pieces of sausage, I can't help laughing a little to myself at the comparison of our meals. His omelet managed to come out better than the one I made for me, perfectly solid compared to my result of scrambled eggs. No matter what, he gets the very best from me—I'm taking the biggest cinnamon bun though. That delicious treat has my name written all over it, it's mine for the taking. Besides, I can risk a sugar-crash unlike Mr. 12 hour shifts over there. Noting his drowsy form nodding off at the table, I quickly reach over to start the coffeemaker.
The smile that lights up his face as I present his food to him makes up for the few seconds I burnt my hand earlier, trying my best not to burn our whole apartment down. Note to self: never daydream about eventful Friday nights while leaning over a hot stove. Had I been slower to react, I'd be nursing my hand back to health with a frazzled boyfriend refusing to let me so much as brush my teeth on my own—it gets overwhelming after the first day, trust me.
Settling down on his lap under the persuasive encouragements falling from his irresistible lips, I hold up a piece of sausage to shush his drowsy mumblings. As cute as he is, he needs his morning protein before he can wake up and function properly. Especially after working 60 hours two weeks in a row. I respect his enthusiasm as a semi-workaholic myself, but damn am I worried. What kind of crazily time-consuming clothing line is going on in his beautiful head this time?
Baekhyun finishes his juice while I pick at my food, lazily twirling his hair between my fingers. Some days I ask myself why I’m still here, why I still try, why I continue on in this relationship that has more blurred lines than direct answers about our future. To tell the truth... I never expected to fall in love again. I never saw this coming—never saw him coming, when my sole way of survival has been spotting things from miles away. How did it come to this? How the hell did this man sneak past all my defenses so easily?
Maybe it was the smile he shot my way the first time we met or the way we had danced that Friday night, his body seeming to match so perfectly with mine. His comforting presence and sweet, brown eyes that hold all the stars in the universe. The countless late nights he has spent looking after me when I caught the flu from a combination of lack of sleep, stress, and poor life choices. He's always been there—always been here with me, but why… Why isn’t it enough? What is missing? How can I strip this weight off my chest that suffocates me more by the day?
"Baby?" Baekhyun's warm voice caresses my ear, comforting arms tightening around me.
"What if it happens again?" Jenny's worried face flashes vividly in my mind.
The memories come pouring in, making my mouth go dry as a lump forms in my throat. It takes everything in me to drag my eyes up to meet Baekhyun's inquiring orbs, plastering on another smile. The gesture is easier to manage with every sweet kiss his soft pillows plant on my lips. His heart-fluttering touch distracts my hyperactive mind for a while.
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"Damn, Riley." Chanyeol practically moans, the sampling spoon I had offered him left to dangle pre-cautiously between his fingers. "Had I known you could cook like this, I would have come soon—ah!"
"Yah," Baekhyun scowls as I take the last serving plate from the counter to the table with a bashful smile, passing the tall man clutching the back of his head. "That's my girlfriend you're talking about." He mutters, lowering his hand, voice deepening in an unfairly attractive manner. "Watch your mouth."
"Geez." The giant huffs, glaring at him under the veil of his blonde hair. "You'd think you two were married with that—okay, okay!"
"When you two are done." The over-the-top chirp of my voice catches their attention; both their eyes widening like guilty little kids caught with their hands in a cookie jar. "Dinner is ready."
"Don't let me eat it all." Jongdae drawls, throwing an arm over the back of Jenny's chair, looking at them lazily, his brown eyes glinting mischievously. "Remember what happened last time."
Baekhyun and Chanyeol scramble for their seats as if their asses have been set on fire; an unusually quiet Jongin follows behind them, carrying a plate I forgot all about.
"Thank you." I gasp, quickly making room for the forgotten dish. "Set it down here, please."
Jongin nods, setting down the plate of cucumber salad next to the servings of Bulgogi. "I'm sorry Kyungsoo couldn't make it." He mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck. "Something came up at the restaurant."
"It's alright. Wanna pack a to-go plate for him?" Tilting my head, I smile in understanding at the sheepish expression on his face. "If you think he'd like my food, anyway," I joke, resting my arm on the back of my chair as I continue to face him, relieved at the familiar hint of playfulness restored in his eyes.
"Oh he's going to love it," Chanyeol insists with a pleased hum, yelping at the smack Jenny lands on his sneaky hand.
"Where are your manners, Park?" She sighs, shaking her head, fiery red curls bouncing with the motion.
"Save some for the rest of us, asshole." Jongdae grumbles, subtly eyeing the cucumber salad.
Everyone's plate already has a soft taco shell, warm from a few seconds in the microwave. The toppings are placed on top of the two tables Baekhyun and I had to push together to accommodate our guests: fresh Korean lettuce, sour cream, and other ingredients that Jenny helped me choose—especially that bowl of melted nacho-cheese Jongin keeps taking glances at.
We all look towards Baekhyun once he settles in his seat. He leans forward to reach the middle of the table, bypassing the regular bulgogi for the one drenched in a home-made sauce, spooning some on my taco shell with a chaste kiss to my cheek. "Eat up, everyone," He murmurs sweetly, tired brown eyes twinkling.
Jongdae doesn't even fake-gag with Chanyeol and Jongin, he goes straight for the cucumber salad. The fresh smell wafts in the air amongst the various meat and spices, making Baekhyun's nose crinkle adorably. I carefully brush his freshly dyed hair out of his eyes, chuckling at the pout he shoots my way. "Did you really have to make cucumber salad, baby? Cucumber?"
"One man's trash is another man's treasure, Byun," Jongdae mutters, forgoing his personal bowl to grab the whole serving. No one says a word, we just share knowing smiles. And once Chanyeol pops the cork of the expensive Dom Perignon, the real party begins.
Endless tales of embarrassing high school cafeteria incidents spill forth from Jongdae's mouth as if shame has gone out of style. The details he shares at the expense of Chanyeol's seemingly innocent public image flying out the window right along with it.
"One second this guy looked like he was taking the biggest shit of his life, and the next thing I know, Lee Naeun from 5th period Physics is crawling out from under the table, wiping spulge from her lips. Like, Chanyeol, what the actual fuck bro? Couldn't you have taken your business to the 3rd floor Janitor's closet? I think I still have the key..."
If it wasn't for Baekhyun's quick hands, I would've sprayed a mouthful of wine across the entire table.
Unfortunately, Jongin had to head out right after dinner, promising to meet up again soon before hurrying to Kyungsoo's house, two plates clutched in hand. Chanyeol decided to stick around for longer to "let his two glasses of wine wear off"—this man has the metabolism of a beast, we know why he's really here. His reason is comfortably seated next to Jenny on our striped couch, sock-clad feet propped up on the coffee table.
"Dinner was nice," Jenny smiles, sipping leisurely at her water.
"More than nice." Chanyeol boosts from our leather recliner, raising his glass, tipping his head at me. "Your food damn near tops Kyungsoo's," He pauses, brown eyes widening. "Don't tell him I said that."
"No worries," I laugh softly, hiding in the safety of Baekhyun's shoulder. He shifts towards me, finishing his wine and setting the empty glass on the coffee table before wrapping an arm around my waist, brushing his lips against my forehead in a way that leaves my heart shaking. The white loveseat we're sitting on sinks further under our joined weight, and really, there's no place I'd rather be—except our king sized bed, that is. Baekhyun's firm grip on my bare thigh isn't helping my tipsy trance in the slightest. The universe knows I'd rather be getting drunk off of him right now.
"I'm going for a smoke," Jongdae mutters, rising from the couch. He leans down to Jenny for a kiss that leaves her beaming, going to retrieve his trench coat and shoes before slipping out of the door.
Good to see them doing well; I blink in surprise, smiling teasingly her way. I'm happy for her! It really is a pleasant surprise to see Jongdae stating their relationship in such a way; an immense improvement from their past encounters of Jenny nervously seeking affection and Jongdae down-right dodging it like his life depends on it. Public displays of affection are a sweet, straightforward way to say, "hey, this person means a lot to me," or, "back off, they're mine." Which personally sets me on romantic fire. Even if it's just holding hands, it can put me in high spirits—doing it with a certain, cheeky silver-haired man is just a bonus.
Jenny winks, fanning her cheeks that match the rosy shade of her hair before tuning in to Chanyeol's loud chatter.
Soft laughter rumbles in Baekhyun's chest as he engages in the conversation. His warm palm securely holds my hand when I slip my cold palm into his warm one. He presses a kiss to the back of it, pulling a silent giggle from my lips as he smiles at me with an arched brow, squeezing our intertwined fingers.
"Riley?"
I drag my eyes up to Jenny who's loosening her red curls by running her fingers through them. "Yeah?"
"Jongdae's not answering his cell," She murmurs with a worried frown. "Can you go check on him, please?"
And why can't you do it? — Or come with me for that matter? I raise a brow, getting up from the chair and Baekhyun's warmth with a silent sigh. "Okay. I'll be back." If I get kidnapped or spooked by some random asshole, she'll never hear the end of it. I really should ask Baekhyun to teach me a thing or two about hakipdo though.
Jenny beams, a peculiar twinkle in her eye, clasping my hand between hers. "Thank you!"
Uh-huh... I try not to eye her too warily.
"Take my coat, baby," Baekhyun murmurs, kissing the side of my wrist. "It's cold out."
"O-Okay." I clear my throat, pointedly avoiding the smug smiles of the other two in the room while walking over to the coat hanger.
Slipping on his brown, cinnamon-scented coat brings a giddy smile to lips—one I'm quick to hide in the soft fabric.
I slide on my boots before making my way to the elevator, not up for taking the 4 levels of stairs this late at night. Thankfully, that nosy neighbor down the hall isn't meeting me at the elevator tonight on one of his various late-night escapades. I've had enough awkward encounters with his lovers to last me a lifetime.
The lobby is empty except for a lone security guard who waves my way, face lit up in familiarity. Smiling back, I step out the crystal-clean glass doors of the building into the quiet night, quickly finding the man I'm looking for standing at the edge of the sidewalk. "Jongdae."
"Huh?" He looks over his shoulder, turning halfway at the sight of me, pulling a joint from his lips.
"You alright?" I pull Baekhyun's coat tighter around me, resisting the urge to shiver in the icy wind. "Jenny was looking for you."
"Looking for-" He chuckles, brown hair ruffling as he throws his head back in laughter. "Girl, please. I was instructed to come down here 5 minutes ago." He continues, inhaling deeply from the stick between his fingertips. "She ain't looking for me, she's looking for a way for them to chat privately and to make us talk..." He sighs, looking over at me. "I'm not exactly the best company for deep shit."
"O-kay then," I mumble, more than a little peeved, ready to turn on my heel in any direction other than stay here.
"Let's talk." He shrugs, exhaling smoke into the frosty air. I shoot him a wary look, barely taking a step in his direction. "I said let's talk, not have a screaming match." He mutters, rolling his eyes into the back of his head. "Why you all the way over there?" He follows my gaze to the stick between his fingers. "What? This?" He scoffs, smirking. "It's a joint, worst thing you'll get is the munchies."
Crinkling my nose, I take a couple more steps closer anyway, standing beside him, keeping a respectful distance between us.
"Listen." He sighs, taking another drag. "I know I've done some things that… I didn't necessarily have to do." He glances at me for a moment, and then faces the street lights. "Bros before hoes, you know?"
Yeah, I inwardly roll my eyes, focusing on a lonely snowflake evaporating before it reaches the ground. There's a lot to be said over people doing things that they didn't necessarily have to do. If I had a dime for every sleepless night I've had because of Jongdae's shameless mouth, I wouldn't be paying off my student loans anymore.
"Look." Jongdae takes one last drag, crushing the joint under his worn-out winter boots. "The way he is now is much better than the Baekhyun we knew back then." He nods a little to himself, meeting my gaze. "Still can't see why he decided to change his ways for you...but oh well." He mutters, lips quirking into a playful smirk at my small smile before facing the city lights again. Festival lamp-shaped snowflakes attached to the top of every streetlight beam against the dim backdrop of empty downtown buildings, prepared for the coming holidays. "You're alright for a best friend stealer."
A laugh escapes before I can slap my hands over my mouth, meeting his eye nervously only for us to both end up laughing; our amusement echoing loudly through the quiet night.
"Riley?" Jenny's confused voice peeps up, red curls rebelling against the hood of her fluffy white coat.
"Over here!" I cup my hand around my mouth, waving to get her attention.
She turns towards us, rounding the corner with quick strides. "There you are! I thought you got grabbed or something." She fusses, resting a hand on my arm, leaning closer to whisper in my ear, "Especially you. Baekhyun was two seconds from hunting you down with my head on his mantle."
"Jenny!" I snort, accepting her tight hug, my voice muffled in her puffy coat. "It kinda would be your fault though."
"I know!" She exclaims, viewing me from an arm's length away. "I was sweating out my hair."
"Baby?" That unmistakable honey voice calls. A head of fluffy silver locks and brown eyes peek around the building, catching light in the streetlights.
"Here, B," I soothe, chuckling as he speeds over to us, gathering me in his arms without hesitation.
"I thought I lost you," He mutters, hiding in my hair.
"She was gone for ten minutes," Jongdae deadpans.
"Ten minutes too long!" He pulls back to glare over at the brunet, hugging me to his chest with cheeks too rosy to be merely from a few moments out in the cold.
"Just how much of that wine did you drink?.." I narrow my eyes, cupping his flushed cheeks.
"Good thing you only bought one bottle," Jenny laughs nervously, slowly gravitating to shelter behind Jongdae's taller form.
"Enough to miss you." Baekhyun's breath leaves goosebumps on my chilled skin, his soft lips brushing my ear.
"Al-right, time to go before the lovebirds start mating." Jongdae grumbles, wrapping an arm around Jenny's beaming form. Their matching smirks have me scurrying to direct my tipsy boyfriend back towards our apartment.
"Uh—okay! See you guys next time!" I laugh to mask my burning face, gently pushing Baekhyun into the building.
"Goodnight! Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Jenny sing-songs, the smugness clear in her tone.
"Can't make any promises!" Baekhyun proclaims over his shoulder, much to my embarrassment. Thankfully he quiets down once we reach the elevator, but based on the wide eyed security guard, the damage has already been done.
Can the frozen ground just please open up and swallow me whole?
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The view of this busy street differs from all the other times I've walked down it with Baekhyun by my side. Maybe because it's been almost 2 years since I've moved to this city, or that new boutique being set up at the end of the road. Whatever the case, the air is different—crisper, cleaner. Refreshing as I briskly walk to my destination, wanting to avoid being out in the cold as much as possible. The weather here is so much colder in the middle of December compared to how flowers were still budding around this time outside of my childhood home.
Humming a song that's been stuck in my head for days with my car keys spinning around my finger, I stroll into Privé Alliance's building, admiring the latest clothing line pictures hung up along the walls and waving to the new receptionist while making my way to the elevator. Many men and women in business attire are all over the place as per usual during the busiest months of the year. However, once I make it out of the crowd of chattering employees, the sight of a familiar face waiting in front of the elevator brings a smile to my face. "Kyungsoo!"
The short-haired man turns around. "Hello, Riley." He nods with a small smile as we step inside the open doors, pressing the buttons to the 5th and top floor. "Lunch date?"
"Hmm?.." Blinking a few times, I follow his gaze to the picnic basket clutched in my hand. "Oh! Yes." I chuckle, smoothing down my hair. "Sorry." Between nearly slipping on a patch of ice on the way over here and the pretty lights decorated all over the city, I've forgotten the reason I left our fridge in a disarray this morning. Who decided to store the sandwich meats at the back of the refrigerator? I know Baekhyun loves my home cooking, but damn, man, let me have a break too.
"It's alright." Kyungsoo chuckles, arching a brow. "Hopefully you can get him to relax."
"Relax? Coming from you!?" I gasp sarcastically, covering my mouth with wide eyes.
"Only because he's seconds away from firing half the 3rd floor." He mutters with a roll of his eyes, yet an apologetic smile forms on his face. "Sorry I couldn't make it to the gathering." He clears his throat while facing forward again, straightening his suit.
"It's alright," I smile, resisting the urge to chuckle at his flustered state, checking my outfit in the elevator's reflection. It may be a chilling 40 degrees—4 in celsius—but I can spare the warmth of my legs for a 2 minute walk from Privé's parking lot. No weather can tell me what I can and can't wear. If I want to rock a pencil skirt on the coldest day of the week, so be it! Plus, these two-inch heels couldn't be left behind. I can't show up at Baekhyun's workplace with the poor fashion choices I subject him to at home, so we're going, coolness over comfort.
"Life happens," I mumble, tucking rebellious locks of hair behind my ear. "I'm just glad you're doing okay." The smile that forms on his heart-shaped lips when I take a glance at him makes me beam back.
"I'll stop by sometime this week." He hums, black dress shoes tapping on the floor. "I just finished a new recipe."
"Recipe?" I blink, mildly intrigued, mentally running over the list of food I'm carrying for the 3rd time today.
"Fried ice cream cake," He smirks, nonchalantly checking his watch.
"Fried-" My jaw damn near drops to the floor. Fried? Fried!? The one ice cream Baekhyun banned me from attempting myself after burning my hand while frying fish a few days ago?! Which Baekhyun is half to blame, by the way—never sneak up on someone over a popping frying pan. It never ends well. Besides that, it also was the day I truly realized the stamina that man possesses. I have never seen someone react so quickly to shove my hand under ice-cold water in my life.
Searching for any cameras in the elevator, I step a little closer to the short-haired man, whispering discreetly behind my hand, "W-Will you bring me some?"
"The prettiest one," He promises, softly patting my shoulder, chuckling at the star-struck expression written all over my face. "This is me, I'm afraid."
"Huh?" I blink into focus, shocked to be on the 5th floor so soon. What the heck. What is it about elevator rides with Baekhyun and Kyungsoo that make them go by lightning-fast compared to the stifling, tension-filled ones with Jongdae? If you can read a room, it truly makes a difference. "Oh, don't let me keep you." I give a little wave, balancing the picnic basket on my forearm. "See you later!"
Kyungsoo nods, smiling with a wave of his own as the double doors close. It is at that moment that I freeze, recalling how Baekhyun mentioned he hired a new secretary a few weeks back. Well... shit—how do I explain why I'm arriving at his floor unannounced on a random Tuesday afternoon?
Do his employees even know we are dating?.. A small part of me doubts it. Why do I care? Oh, right—I fucking live with him!
By some miracle, no one is occupying the neatly arranged desk when the elevator opens on the top floor, saving me from the completely rushed explanation I have no idea how to even put into words. All that lies before me is an undisturbed walk to Baekhyun's office, the intimidating black door slightly ajar. I slip off my heels, rushing out of the elevator on sock-clad feet before the doors close. Baekhyun's businessman voice filters through the quiet air. He must be on the phone.
Shuffling as quietly as possible down the hallway, I peek into his office. My eyes quickly find his broad form leaning a hip against his executive desk, a phone pressed to his ear as he faces the floor-to-ceiling windows showcasing the heart of Seoul. Impeccably dressed in a wrinkle-free, white dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up. His black blazer thrown over the back of his chair. Like always, the splashes of color in every corner of the room have my lips curling up, but I have to muffle a small giggle at the sight of a thin pink measuring tape hanging around his neck.
I slowly inch closer, discarding my coat and setting down the basket in one of the leather chairs. Smoothing my flower-patterned, white button-down shirt, I silently approach him, gently covering his eyes once he ends the call. "Guess who~"
Baekhyun stiffens for a moment before swiftly turning around, wrapping his arms around me and lifting me up, setting me down on his desk. He cups my cheeks in his warm palms, crashing his lips to mine before I can make a sound. "Thank god, it's you." He breathes, warm fingers sliding into my hair.
"W-Well—hello to you too." I barely manage to get out between his feverous kisses, making a noise in surprise when he pulls me flush to his chest. "What is it?" I ask softly, noticing the bothered look on his face; carefully running my fingers through his styled hair as he hides in my neck. "Another long day?"
"You have no idea." He sighs, looking up at me. "I was 2 seconds away from losing it."
"Don't-" I pause, thinking about it. A few memories of last week flash through my mind. "Well, you are kind of hot when you're angry..." In the proper context.
Baekhyun perks up, exhausted brown eyes regaining their sparkle. "Really?"
I hum to appease his hopeful expression, yelping when he pulls me into his arms, not expecting to be carried up from the desk so suddenly.
"Come here," He murmurs, walking around to sit in his chair, setting me on his lap. "I need strength to get through these reports."
Gently playing with his hair to calm down my racing heart, I tilt my head, "Do you have time for a lunch break?"
Baekhyun hums distractedly, kissing my forehead, holding me closer to his firm chest. "We can order in a little later."
Kyungsoo's words come back to mind while I watch Baekhyun continue to click around his computer, brown eyes squinted and brows furrowing more by the minute. I inwardly cringe at the move I'm about to pull, but… Our sandwiches' lifespan is ticking away. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
"But…" I pout, resting my hands flat on his chest, widening my eyes for effect as his focused orbs shift to meet mine. "But I made it."
"Let's eat now then," Baekhyun smiles, his steady gaze flickering all over my person. I swear I just witnessed his pupils dilating right before my very eyes. "Give me 5 minutes."
My lips quirk up, "One-"
"I'll set a timer." He laughs, shaking his head, reaching for his phone between his bright screen laptop and desktop PC.
Smiling in victory, I stretch across the desk to retrieve the basket, peeking at his computer accidentally. "Holy shit, is that Melody Hudson?" I straighten up, focusing on the magazine cover opened up on a famous website. "The model?" My eyes widen in awe of her tall blonde form modeling a stunning royal blue summer dress; the color bringing out the blue in her shining eyes. I place the basket on a clear spot on Baekhyun's crowded desk before rubbing his stiff shoulders. He must still be tense from work. "She's so pretty."
Baekhyun hums, placing a hand on my cheek. His gentle caress coaxes my eyes back to his. "But you're beautiful," He whispers, resting his forehead on mine, brushing a thumb over my lips.
There's nowhere to hide the red hue that springs onto my face, making him chuckle as I quickly turn back to start taking out our food.
"Would you like to accompany me to a photoshoot?" The tentative tone of his voice has me raising a brow.
"Sure!" Handing him his sandwich, I press a kiss to his cheek, carefully unwrapping my homemade fries. "I'd love to see you work behind the scenes."
"Actually..."
I look at him, mid-bite of my toasted turkey sandwich.
"I'll be in the scenes," He drops, soft lips quirking a boyish grin.
My grip on my sandwich rips a hole in the middle while preventing it from falling out of my hands. "I…"—Behind the scenes witnessing Baekhyun modeling?? With his god-tier body and knee-weakening smirks that have me crumbling from beyond a screen alone? Hell to the mother fucking yes! "O-Okay."
Baekhyun's brown orbs twinkle knowingly, an amused smile forming on his lips as he presses them to mine. "Great."
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It's impossible to mask my excitement while slipping into the passenger seat of Baekhyun's Audi. The beautiful red highlights around the black interior never fail to leave my jaw dropped in awe, fingertips tempted to graze over every surface. I'd like to think a person's dream car matches their owner, and there's no denying how devilishly divine my boyfriend looks settling into the driver's seat.
Baekhyun's simple, black button-down shirt and matching jeans have me inwardly salivating—I don't even have the slightest clue of why he's going to a photoshoot today. Privé? A cover for a magazine? Possibilities are endless, but not just anyone can request an hour of his time during one of the busiest months of the year.
"Are you ready?" Baekhyun glances over at me, his unstyled hair tucked under a Privé corduroy camel baseball cap that I haven't quite seen before.
"Yes," I beam at him, tilting my head curiously. "Is that hat new? I don't think I've seen it before."
Baekhyun smirks, brown eyes glinting mischievously as he straps on his seatbelt. "Maybe." He rests a hand on the steering wheel and the other on my thigh, backing out of his designated parking space. "Hold on tight, baby. You're in for a long ride."
I blink, having no clue what kind of ride he means. When it comes to Baekhyun, you never know what you're getting yourself into, but you never really have to worry about it either. If I hadn't known him for a few years, I would have bugged him to tell me where we're going for the entire ride. But with a few years under our belt—and some long months spent sharing a close-knitted home—I can comfortably sit back and relax for the whole journey, because there is no Baekhyun without one.
•••
The parking lot outside of the building is relatively calm, with only a few staff members bringing in materials from their cars. Inside of the place, however, is a complete madhouse. Everyone is speed-walking to various rooms and popping up from behind every corner. Not a drop of silence in the heavily populated area.
"There's our man of the hour!" A tall, aged man steps forward to shake Baekhyun's hand, carefully cradling a camera strapped around his neck. "So glad you could make it. I hope we are not taking up too much of your time?" He inquires, pushing glasses further up his nose, glancing over at me.
"Oh no, of course not!" Baekhyun shakes his head, shifting closer to wrap an arm around my waist. "I invited my girlfriend to accompany me today." He clears his throat, reddening cheeks caught under the harsh spotlights. "I hope you don't mind."
"No, not at all," The man reassures, gesturing towards a staff member who quickly brings over a grey single-seat sofa. "The more the merrier. Here you go, Madam. Is the chair to your liking?"
"Yes, thank you," I smile, trying not to stutter, brushing my fingertips over Baekhyun's warm palm before taking a seat. He shoots me a little bashful grin as the photographer whisks him away, a team of stylists directing him to a chair on the opposite side of the room. It's amusing to see so many people fussing over his hair, pulling out hairspray, and presenting him with simple yet sexy articles of clothing.
A few other models are walking around in the same attire, giving off a cool vibe of the newest clothing line, but when Baekhyun steps out of a dressing room…
Holy shit.
No, seriously holy shit!
Baekhyun walks into the room, standing against a wall as stylists comb his hair over to the left side of his face, using sprites of hairspray to tuck the right side behind his ear. As if he doesn't look dangerous enough adorning a leather jacket, a black shirt with white scribbles I can barely make out from this distance, and camel pants with unique, black low-platinum shoes.
The staff directs him over to the area with a gray backdrop, lights and cameras focused all over the place. Baekhyun practically glides over there, oozing with that stunning Ceo confidence. At a closer look, I can make out the pretty image of open and outstretched hands in the white lines at the bottom of his shirt. The intriguing detail has my full attention until I feel a persistent stare.
I lift my eyes higher to meet Baekhyun's dark brown orbs—from me sitting in the back of the room or getting into character; I have no idea. Suddenly my red knitted sweater is a bit too warm despite not being in front of any bright lights. Just when I think it can't get any worse, the photographer announces that it's time to begin.
If I had known what I agreed to the other day, I would have been more prepared—or so I'd like to think. I mean, how does one prepare their feelings for watching their unfairly attractive, multi-millionaire boyfriend pose for the camera as if moments away from sweeping them off of their feet!? And not in a sweet way either. Nah, ain't nothing innocent about the lethal expression swirling within his dark brown orbs. Especially while they are pointed right at me.
The hairstyle they gave him just makes my situation worse. How am I supposed to sit still with this man gazing so intensely into the "camera"? Is this really the same drowsy Baekhyun who I have to wake up every Sunday morning? Where did his tiredness go? There ain't nothing exhausted about the way he is staring at me! And when they bring out a chair for him to sit on… No. Hell no. That's it.
Draping my sweater over the back of my chair has his covered lips curling up at the corners, I just fucking know it.
After a few more camera flashes, the stylists are back with a new outfit in tow, gesturing for Baekhyun to change. However, right as he is turning down the short hallway leading to the dressing room, someone comes rushing into the building.
"I'm so sorry I'm late!" A petite woman with a French accent flies into the hall. "Traffic was-" She skids to a halt, staring at Baekhyun as if she's seen a ghost, her brown wavy hair mid-loop of making a bun. For a long moment, nobody says a word, and then she's on the move, crossing the short distance within two furious strides.
Her slap echoes across the tall walls.
"To think I waited for you." She grits out between heated spews of French. Her gray eyes brimmed with tears shoot daggers into Baekhyun's wide-eyed ones. "To think I held onto the fact that maybe you actually cared." Her whole body shakes as staff members rush over to restrain her, calling her name over her loud obscenities in an attempt to calm her down, trying to pull her away from him before she can jump him. It takes three men to drag her back out of the building. A woman from the small crowd quickly follows, dropping a blue clipboard in her haste. We hear her panicked voice a split second before the door slams shut behind them.
I don't know when or how it happens, but I'm already on the other side of the room, reaching out for a stunned Baekhyun being fussed over by stylists. "Baekhyun?" My eyes flicker all over his shock-stricken face once they move out of the way for me. A lump forms in my throat at the look in his eyes. "B," I tentatively place my hand over his frozen one on his cheek, the red handprint visible between his fingers. "Baekhyun!"
He flinches, shaky pupils focusing on me. "Y-Yes?"
"Are you okay?" Emotions grip at my throat, making it hard to speak while my eyes keep shifting between his alarmed ones and his steadily bruising cheek. I take the ice pack a staff member hands over without a word, gently brushing his hand away to hold it to his face. "Come here."
Baekhyun silently follows me to the dressing room, seemingly in a daze as stylists vacate the room, closing the door on their way out. I lead him over to a swivel chair in front of a white vanity table, letting him settle before speaking. "What was that?"
"What was what?" He mumbles, breaking my heart at the sight of him pressing ice to his swelling cheek.
"You know what I'm talking about." Crossing my arms, I continue staring him down. "Who was that woman, Baekhyun? Why did she hit you?"
"I'll tell you later, baby." He avoids my eye and his reflection in the mirror, getting up from the chair. "Let's wrap this photoshoot up, hmm? Then we'll go home-"
Stumbling to reach the door before he does, I block his escape, looking into his conflicted eyes. "I'm not letting you leave this room until you answer me."
His lips twitch, "Baby-"
I cross my arms despite my racing heart, my stomach twisting in an ignored warning. "I need answers-"
"For fuck's sake, Riley!" He thunders, startling me so much I slam the back of my head on the doorframe. "Out of my fucking way."
I step aside without another word, turning my head away as he storms out of the room. The slamming door left in his wake has my heart jumping into my throat. Anxiety grips at my chest like a vice, making it hard to breathe. I latch onto a Privé clothing rack, holding onto it for stability.
Baekhyun's tone on the other side of the door is much calmer while talking to one of the staff. I wait for a few minutes, resting against the clothing rack until his voice drifts away; the loud taps of his shoes fading into the distance. No matter how far away he is—most likely continuing on with the photoshoot by the faint clicks of a camera echoing around the quiet building—I don't… I can't; I won't go back out there to watch him. No, not after that. I'm sure everyone in the vicinity heard what just happened.
Slipping out of the room, I gasp when I bump into someone else, my heart beating so hard it hurts to breathe. Could this day get any worse? Seriously? "I'm so sorry."
"You're fine," The same staff member I heard minutes ago with Baekhyun shakes her head, smiling in sympathy. "Tough morning, huh?"
I can only manage a deep exhale, nodding, "I guess you could say that, u-um—" I'm losing the battle against the sting steadily building behind my eyes. "Do you know where the bathroom is by any chance?"
"Just around the corner," She nods, pointing farther down the hallway. "First door on your left."
"Thank you," I breathe, hurrying down the hall. Before I can pass by her, however, I notice her angrily marking out a name with a black sharpie from the same blue clipboard that clattered to the floor earlier.
Nicole. The woman they dragged out earlier…
With tears finally breaking free from my sore eyes, I couldn't have reached the bathroom fast enough.
To my relief, the room is empty. Nothing but painfully bright lights and the porcelain floors to witness my current state. I walk up to the sinks with a shaky sigh, splattering cold water on my face. My reflection isn't a pretty sight to behold when I look into the mirror, bracing my hands on the countertop as I take in the streaks of mascara running down my face. The one day I decide to wear a non-fool-proof kind and this is what I get?
Sighing, I turn to lean my back against the counter, crossing my arms. The photoshoot is back in full swing with all the compliments the photographer is showering Baekhyun in. It's pretty pathetic of me to hide out in this ice-cold bathroom, but I rather shiver for a few minutes than face him right now. Something about the way he reacted earlier... To that woman, to me—doesn't feel right. Maybe I pushed him too far? I just… Do I not have the right to know who just slapped the hell out of my boyfriend? Hell yeah, I'll admit I want to know who she is because he's mine and she was acting as if she was waiting forever for him to recuperate her feelings, but it's not just about that. No—Nah. The deer in headlights expression on his face as her hand collided with his cheek will not leave my mind.
Whatever it is, whatever just transpired in front of me; something is off and I rather be out the line of fire while trying to figure it out.
"To think I waited for you" For what? For when? With the way things are going, I might never know the answer.
The lack of chatter filtering through the echoing walls of the room catches my attention. I tentatively peek out of the bathroom, stepping back into the hallway at the uncharacteristically quiet state of the building. Is the shoot over already? Pushing past my dimly lit surroundings, I head back to the dressing room, hesitantly standing in the open doorway. I'm confused to not find Baekhyun there, or in the main area when I poke my head over the edge of the short hallway.
"Excuse me?" I approach the nearest stylist, moving out the way of another one clumsily carrying out articles of clothing. "Have you seen Baekhyun?"
She shakes her head with a pop of her minty gum, giving me a solemn look. "Last I saw of him, he was on his way to the men's room on the other side of the building."
"Ah..." Dread fills my stomach, and something tells me that I rather not find out why. "Thank you," I murmur in passing, quickly making my way back out of the room, speeding down to the opposite hallway. The possibility that I got left behind in an unfamiliar part of the city twists my stomach into knots until I round the corner. I stumble to a halt, sucking in a breath. My heart breaks at the sight—and then the rage kicks in.
Baekhyun's broad form in his partially unbuttoned black shirt braces himself against the wall, looming over a model. Her hand is in his hair and their lips interlocked in an intimate kiss. The sight has my blood boiling—nah, it's turning into fucking lava.
"Wow." I bark out a laugh, loud and hollow, positively seething as he jumps back from her as if burned. "If you were going to cheat, you could have at least had the decency to do it behind my back." The smirk that forms on my lips is the worst kind, the ugliest kind, the kind that has fear flickering in Baekhyun's wide brown eyes. "Or was this your intention all along?"
"R-Riley-" He stares like a deer in headlights, hurrying over to me, smearing her red lipstick over his lips in his haste to rub it off with the back of his hand. "Baby, please keep it down. I can explain-"
"Nah," I shake my head, looking at him in disdain. Just the sight of him right now has me heating up with anger. I'm seeing red as the model smirks at me from over his shoulder. That bitch. "This is explanation enough." I spin on my heel before I do something I won't regret in the slightest, just for his sake.
Baekhyun's dress shoes tapping frantically behind me as I storm back into the main hall.
"Riley, baby." His grip on my wrist throws me over the edge. "Please-"
"What were you doing, huh?" A snarl forms on my face as I whirl back around, meeting his pleading eyes. "Gonna show her your failed attempts at lasting for longer than a minute?"
Everyone in the room pauses. The photographer almost drops his prized camera.
Baekhyun's face grows progressively red, and if it wasn't for the rage burning in my own veins, I'd be concerned about the vibrant hue going up to his ears right now. Just like his mishap a few days ago that would normally be insignificant, it was his grave mistake. The key that I used to fuel the fire to the flame in the most torturous of ways... Have I hit a nerve, Hyunnie?
His grip tightens on my wrist. "We," He barely gets out in an angered growl of his own, "Are leav-"
"Get your filthy-" I hiss, snatching my wrist out of his grasp, "Paws off of me." I grab my sweater on my way out, exiting the building without looking back. The bite of the cold wintry air is a relief for my heated skin. "I'm not going anywhere with you."
"I drove." He says through clenched teeth, hot on my heels.
"And I'm walking." I bite back, walking past the car as he climbs into the driver's seat.
"Riley!" Baekhyun bellows, putting the Audi in gear and slowly following me out of the parking lot. "Get in the fucking car!"
I cross my arms, scoffing out a laugh. It doesn't matter where the hell I am, I'm not getting back in that car with him. Bringing me all the way out here just to pull that shit. He can kiss my ass. I knew I shouldn't have gotten in that car with him. If I had taken my own four-seat beauty that I left back at home, I'd be halfway on the way to Jenny's by now.
Baekhyun continues to follow behind me, honking obnoxiously, attracting unwanted attention from bystanders that whisper amongst themselves. Some of them pull out their phones. What a spectacle we would make for the front cover of magazines, endlessly entertainment for all their peering eyes. Pausing for a moment to weigh my options, I step towards the Audi with a sigh, climbing in without a word to the fuming man next to me.
Baekhyun drives on, clutching onto the steering wheel with both hands. His grip is so tight his knuckles turn white. I direct my gaze out of the passenger window, avoiding him at all costs within the confines of the car. The long ride home and walk up to our apartment does nothing to ease my rage. Anger continues to thump angrily in my veins as the past two hours replay in my mind.
Baekhyun unlocks the door and holds it open for me. I walk into the apartment with a scoff, moving to tug off my boots only for my back to meet the wall, the front door closing with a startling slam.
"What was that?" Baekhyun glares at me, fire burning bright in his brown orbs. He can't exactly tower over me, but by his mannerism, he doesn't need any extra height to get his point across.
"What was that?" I mumble, peeling off my shoes, ducking under his arm to cross the other side of the room. The longer I stay in these warm clothes, the more I die from the uncomfortable heat.
"No, what the actual fuck, Riley?" He shakes his head, long strands of silver hair dangling in his fury-filled eyes. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."
"Fine." I retort, rolling my eyes and looking at him, "Who was that woman then?"
His nostrils flare. "Really?" He bites out, laughing in disbelief. "Is that really important right now?"
I cross the room in three strides, tilting my chin up to stand nose to nose with him. "It is to me if you haven't fucking noticed."
"Oh, I'm so sorry." He scoffs, stepping back. A cruel smile curls on his lips. "What should I do? I haven't paid Riley enough attention." All traces of humor leave his features, his minty breath washing over my cheeks. Baekhyun leans in again, his voice lowering into an angered growl. "Maybe if you weren't wetting yourself over me all morning, you'd figure it out."
I grind my teeth. "Who. Was. She?"
"For fuck-" Baekhyun reels back, his brown eyes rolling so hard into the back of his head a flicker of worry sparks in my chest before those dark orbs land on me again. "An ex-fling," he grits out. "Why does it matter?"
My hands fall limply to my sides. "Why didn't you tell me she would be there?" I ask. My voice is much quieter while I search his eyes for answers.
"What?" He scoffs, raising a brow. "How was I supposed to know she would be there?"
"Her name was on the roster-"
"I-" He shakes his head, pulling harshly on his hair. "What? Do you expect me to know the names of the women I've slept with?" A smirk quirks at his pink lips, his brown eyes so dark that his pupils have vanished in their mahogany depths. "Do you think I've kept some journal? " He purrs, grinning in delight when I shuffle uncomfortably on my feet. "Are you really that insecure?"
I stiffen. A bolt of something sinister shoots down my spine. Did this fucker just—
"Me?" I point to myself with wide eyes, laughing incredulously. "Me?.... You know, that's real fucking rich coming from you." I sneer, roughly tugging off my annoying turtleneck. What was once a reliable piece of clothing ends up torn in my fit of rage. I fling it out of my sight. Baekhyun's words loop over and over in my head. Even though I don't show it—they cut me. Deep. On a touchy subject. In a part of me I thought had died 2 years ago. He damn well knows it hurts when it's mentioned in such a menacing manner, and he still did it. For what? His weak stamina in wake of his long hours at work is suddenly the equivalent to the root of my trust issues?
My fingers curl so tightly into a fist, I can feel my nails pierce the skin. "You're one to talk." It's easier this way; keeping my back turned to him so I can mask the tears brimming my eyes. Who does he think he is? Who is he, period? How is this the same adoring man that was pursuing me the summer we met?.... It takes all my effort not to bolt for the front door—not to let my nose run or tears to stream down my face. No. I won't cry over him again. I won't let him win. Not like this.
Firm in my resolve, I take a deep breath before turning to him again. "You're not so confident, Mr. Big Shot..." My words falter at the sight of him ripping his shirt open, black buttons clattering all over the floor. "What-"
Baekhyun has me backed against the wall before I can utter another word. "Did you enjoy yourself?" He demands, holding my chin between his thumb and index finger. He peers down into my eyes; the familiar look held in his dark orbs has me quivering on the inside—and it isn't from fear. "Hmm? Did you enjoy embarrassing me earlier? Did you have your fun?"
I quickly recover. "Not my fault you don't know how to keep it in your pants."
"You wish you were in my pants." He grits out, lips curling mockingly.
There are so many things I want to throw up in his handsome face right now. So many little secrets and observations I've made over the past year that would make him falter—make him kneel. But today...
Today.
I choose violence.
Tangling my fingers in his hair, I yank on his delicate locks without remorse, pulling him into a brutal kiss of tongue and teeth. Baekhyun grunts in surprise, pressing me harder against the wall. The harsh clash of our mouths only seems to egg him on. The stinging bite he leaves on my bottom lip is nearly enough to break the skin. I don't know how long we stand there; my hands in his hair and his palms sliding down my back. There's no telling where he ends or I begin until the lack of air sinks in. His breathless puffs for air erupt goosebumps on my skin.
"Are we really doing this?" He pants, pulling away to brush his hair back. His eyes are more familiar to me now, softened by his calmer state, intense from the lust felt in his every touch.
I pause my exploration of his firm chest, arching a brow at him with a mocking grin. "Think you can last longer than a minute this time?"
Baekhyun clenches his jaw and steps away. For a moment, I worry if I pushed him too far until his lips crash back to mine. "Jump," He mutters gruffly, his grip near bruising on my ass.
"And if I don't..." The look in his eyes as he drags his dark brown eyes up to mine shuts me up entirely.
Baekhyun slowly leans closer, brushing his lips against the shell of my ear. "I'll fuck you against the goddamn window." The serious expression on his face combined with the threat is damn near intimidating—and I hate how aroused it leaves me.
Baekhyun hoists me up and walks to our room with quick strides, relentlessly keeping his lips glued to mine. He pushes open the door before dropping me unceremoniously onto the mattress. His lips are back on mine before I can chastise him for the mini heart attack, his impatient hands tug at the rest of my clothes. I let him pull off my pants and hurriedly move to unclip my bra in the meantime before his rough actions can rip the expensive fabric.
Baekhyun freezes above me, brown eyes transfixed on my matching red lacy set. It may be winter, but that doesn't mean I can't dress up nicely underneath endless layers of flannel and wool. Although, when I think about what happened not too long ago... Warmth fills my cheeks and I know I'm blushing way too hard to have done this countless times with him.
"Ah." Baekhyun tsks, stopping me from covering my chest. "Take it off." He breathes, soft lips brushing over my neck. "Let me see these tits bounce for me."
My eyes widen at his crude words, a gasp escapes my parted lips when he sucks harshly on a sensitive spot on my neck, pulling down the straps of my bra at a snail's pace. The poor clothing is tossed over his shoulder without a care in the world.
I'm no stranger to Baekhyun's habit of leaving pink and red hues on my skin, but today is different—today it feels like he has something to prove by trapping my skin between his teeth, marking me as his. He doesn't stop at my neck; his restless mouth ventures lower, painting my collarbones and chest with the shape of his lips.
I grit my teeth as he reaches my breasts, determined not to let him win me over so easily. It doesn't matter how much I want to melt under his warm hands mapping out the contours of my waist or tremble in anticipation at his breath fanning over my sensitive nipples. No matter what, I will not crumble... until he does first, at least.
Yeah—easier said than done with the way he's tugging my nipple with his teeth, roughly rolling the other between his fingers. It's all fun and games until his grip tightens on my hip, his pelvis grinding mercilessly against me. A move that has my back arching clear off of the mattress. He just presses me back down to the bed, continuing to alternate between each breast, pulling away minutes later with a wet pop of his lips. He's relentless in using every weak spot of mine. As if he knows what I'm trying to do.
"Not today, baby," He murmurs to my squirming form, chuckling in my ear. I can't help but bite my lip, breath caught in my throat when his hand slides down my body. His large palm covers my clothed core entirely. If it were any other day, I'd be flustered over how true his words from earlier were; the evidence of my previous admiring and current state of euphoria clear as day to his greedy hand, tugging at my last piece of clothing.
My heart races in the realization that I'm lying under him, almost completely bare, as he remains fully clothed besides the ripped shirt clinging to his broad shoulders.
"Ah," Baekhyun smacks my hands away, flashing a grin full of devious intentions. "Don't worry your pretty little head."
He's yanking my underwear down before I can get a word in, tossing them carelessly off the bed and spreading my thighs as far as they'll go.
"Always so ready for me," He muses, spreading my folds apart with his thumbs. I stop breathing entirely when he leans down, spitting onto my pussy. "Your hungry cunt has been waiting all morning for me, hmm?"
My lack of response doesn't bother him in the slightest as he meets my eye, sliding two of his long fingers into my core so suddenly I shout, grabbing his wrist. Baekhyun just pries my fingers off of him before interlocking them with his freehand, bracing our joined hands above my head. My eyes roll back at the burn of the unexpected intrusion. It's a dull, persistent ache while he shoves his fingers deeper into my cunt. He curls them up in a way that has me shaking at the seams, tugging at his silver locks as he brings me dangerously close to the edge. Right when I'm nearing my high, he pulls his fingers out, nonchalantly sucking on them while fiddling with his belt.
I gulp, relaxing back against the sheets. I can't even be mad at this point. Our argument ended the moment I started that fiery-filled kiss, but—
Baekhyun's belt clatters to the floor and his brown eyes have never looked so fierce—so carnal, I wonder if he plans to eat me alive. What I don't expect is for him to crawl further up the bed like an actual predator hunting his prey to hover over me again; his gaze not straying from mine for a second. The warmth of his body encloses me; it's second nature to relax under him when we're like this—when we're touching the tip of the iceberg before diving headfirst into the chilly depths of our lust. Sex with Baekhyun isn't like playing with fire; it's handling dry ice with bare hands.
And being in love with him is one of the most intense and excruciating experiences of my life.
We spend so much time eye-fucking each other that I'm not prepared for the bruising kiss he pulls me into, sliding his cock into my core without a warning.
"Ah—B-Baek!"
"Hmm?" He humors, his low voice filled with lust. "Now she speaks."
"Baekhyun." I gasp when he spreads my thighs wider; the pull from the unfamiliar stretch adds to his incessant pounding—his hips seeming to snap a mile a minute. Oh, please—please don't let both of us have muscle strain tomorrow morning. I swear I've never seen him move this fast for anything. Ever. Baekhyun, what the fuck? Have you started back up on your late-night visits to the gym or something? He's reaching depths he hasn't quite reached before, hitting a spot inside my core that makes me want to cringe away and slam myself onto his cock at the same time.
I yelp out when he tilts my hips at a different angle, not meaning to scratch his back so hard in my hurry to cling onto him. Baekhyun just groans, slamming rougher into me in retaliation, his teeth firmly bite down onto my shoulder.
"Baekhyun! what the—ah—fuck!?" I nearly shriek, appalled and aroused.
Baekhyun smirks, sliding a hand down to press his thumb on my clit. "What's the matter, baby?"
"B-" I can't even say his name without stammering, shaking under him when he slows down to roll his entire body against mine. The only thing I'm capable of at this point is gripping his shoulders, throwing my head back with a loud moan. I always thought of myself as not being a fan of sweat or having any strange, warm liquids touching me, but Baekhyun... Fucking Baekhyun. His sweaty chest brushing over my nipples is making me lose my damn mind—if I was feeling any more horny and adventurous, I'd lick the salty sweat off of his neck.
"Come on." Baekhyun pants with a satisfied grin. Sweat continues to drip from his honey-toned skin, sticking silver locks to his forehead. "Tell me."
The fucker, he knows exactly what's up. It's written all over his face. A part of me doesn't want to beg—my rational side. The one chastising me for falling into bed with him again in the first place. But I don't know how much longer I can take his teasing antics, so despite my stubbornness—despite the heart aching memories creeping up on me in such an intimate moment; I press my body to his.
"Fuck me like you mean it." I pant, yanking harshly on his hair, smirking at his pained hiss until his hips undulate in a new direction. The constant stimulation on my most sensitive spots has my high sneaking up on me so quickly, I don't have time to warn him.
"Bae—!"
Baekhyun's lips crash to mine, swallowing my cry of his name as I fall over that blissful edge. His cock is the only thing on my mind amongst the ringing in my ears—in the minute-long paradise where nothing else matters but our frantic hearts racing as one.
Baekhyun lets out a telling grunt before a burst of warmth fills me up. The remains of his release drip down my thighs with his erratic, shaky thrusts. He doesn't even pull out when he's done. He just leans tiredly over me, coaxing my lips into a lazy kiss. "You're the only one for me." He whispers as if sharing the biggest secret, all rosy-cheeked and wide-eyed.
Beautiful; there's no other way to describe him—in general, in this moment. Nothing compares to his mocha brown eyes that shine brighter than a million stars when his steady gaze sets on me. Nothing compares to the safety of his warm embrace that surrounds me. Nothing could come close to the way he drives me crazy in every single way. Love. Lust. Doesn't matter. If it's with him—for him, it's...
...
Is it worth it?
The emptiness I feel when he gently pulls himself from me triggers every painful memory imaginable: my birthday, the party, our summer fight, his ex, that phone call, his photoshoot...
Baekhyun collapses beside me on the bed, completely oblivious to the war going on in my head. He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me close to his beating heart.
I wait for him to fall asleep, brushing damp silver locks of hair out of his eyes as his breathing slows. He looks so peaceful like that, so innocent while his face relaxes with sleep. So... So welcoming, like home.
Tears stream down my cheeks, blurring my vision of his twitching brows and pouted lips. I hope he's happy; I hope he got what he wanted.
Carefully sliding out from under his loving hold, I quietly get dressed, collect my duffle bag, and slip out of the room, holding onto the doorknob for dear life. His quiet mumbles drift through the crack of the door, tossing and turning as if already aware of my absence. I have to cover my mouth to contain my sobs.
I love him—I really do, but I...
I can't do this.
I can't take this anymore. If he won't open up to me; if he thinks I'm... I'm unworthy of knowing his past—hell, fuck that. Apparently caring too much leads to being left behind, if that encounter this morning is anything to go by.
My laughter just ends in more sobs, the salty taste of tears on my tongue more bitter with the realization that once again, I've lost.
But at what cost?
The ache in my chest and between my legs is an answer within itself—the last push I need to retrieve my car keys from the counter.
If he wants to be that way, Baekhyun... Baekhyun can do whatever the fuck he wants. What's the difference between me and all the others? What use am I? Is it because I learned how to cook? Clean? I wonder how many of those late nights at work are actually spent bent over his sketchpad. Am I his personal little stay-at-home trophy? Does it feel good to show me around important events? After today, I might as well hang up the thought of ever stepping into his world again. No one wants a possessive girlfriend in their corner of the wrestler ring. No one needs a jealous, nosy, demanding burden weighing them down. And I have my high standards as well.
I can—and will not—be one of those girls.
Not even for him.
•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  P(1) P(2) | Part 4 P(1) P(2) | Part 5 P(1)  P(2) | Part 6 Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  P(1) P(2) | Part 4 P(1) P(2) | Part 5 P(1)  P(2) | Part 6 P(1)  P(2)✓ ----- P(3)   P(4)
A/N: I can feel the pitchforks on the rise, l-listen (<.<) just trust me on this, not all is lost.... Or is it?  😇 I’ll try to finish the next part as soon as I can. *cracks fingers* let’s see what this troubled couple gets up to next.
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seaweedbrain404 · 3 years
Text
Wolfstar Au: Questions and Confessions (pt 3 of Parties and Morning Regrets)
tw: panic attack
pt 2
pt4
read it on ao3
obligatory tag for @icitlali as you’re pretty much the main reason this fic turned into a series, i hope you enjoy it!
When Remus woke up again, hours later, he noticed three things. 1) there was a blanket over him, 2) Lily was home, he could hear her singing along to music in the kitchen and 3) Sirius was nowhere to be seen.
Just as well, Remus thought as he got up. He felt and heard all of his joints clicking and cracking while he stretched. He wrapped the blanket tightly around himself and waddled into the kitchen.
“Hi” He whispered, despite not having to.
Lily spun around, catching him in a hug. “Feeling better?” she asked, pressing her face against his chest.
“Yeah, sleep is good” Remus nodded as they let go, and Lily went back to cooking.
“I’m making dinner, you were asleep for ages”
“Figured, I’m starved”
“I slept with James”
“James?” The name vaguely rang a bell in Remus’ head but it’s not like he knew a lot of people called James.
“Potter- James Potter, remember?” Lily chewed her bottom lip, “from school?”
“Oh”
James Potter had been best friends with Sirius Black and that was probably the only way Remus knew him. There was also the fact that he had chased after Lily for most of their school days. Most people thought he was a rich, spoiled and arrogant boy but Remus found he never really saw him like that. From their limited interactions, Remus thought James was actually a quite pleasant person, a little big-headed but all round a good bloke.
“Yeah”
“And?” Remus waved his hands around, nearly letting the blanket fall to his feet.
“And… we may have exchanged numbers”
“Lily!”
“What?!”
“You always said you hated him!”
“Well I did… but, he got really fit” Lily admitted, pink dusting her cheeks.
“Fit? you slept with him cause he got fit?”
“Kind of- I mean, we talked at the party and he told me about his work and Remus, he’s a human rights lawyer”
This was an interesting piece of information. Remus didn’t know that James was also a lawyer but he did remember Sirius mentioning something about him the night of the party. Did this mean that maybe Remus was wrong? Maybe Sirius wasn’t working for his father anymore and he was in New York to team up with James. It was unlikely though since he specifically remembered his brain latching onto Sirius saying something along the lines of him doing business for his father. There was always the possibility of Sirius lying. However, Remus felt that was unlikely too. Sirius wasn’t much of a liar unless he had to.
He must’ve been quiet for too long because Lily nudged him gently. “Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah” Remus nodded, “just thinking”
“Bad thinking or good thinking”
Remus shrugged. “Just… thinking”
“Does it have anything to do with you definitely sleeping with your gorgeous ex-boyfriend the other night?”
Remus’ face reddened and he pulled the blanket tighter around himself as if it could shield him from all his problems and worries.
“Ha! I knew it” Lily was practically jumping up and down. “He left his phone number”
Remus groaned. “Throw it away”
“What?”
“Bin it, burn it, I don’t care”
“Remus, you can’t just cut off anyone who makes you feel things” Lily sighed.
“I don’t do that” Lie. He did it all the time.
“Yes you do… remember when you dated Anna? or Frank? or Sam?”
Remus shrugged and made a vague noise. He didn’t like where this was going but Lily carried on.
“You pushed them away as soon as it got too real, as soon as it got serious”
“Well, I just didn’t want to settle down with them”
“And why’s that, my friend?”
“I don’t know… they weren’t right” Remus shrugged again, “who are you? my therapist?”
“I’m your friend, idiot” Lily lightly hit his arm, smiling despite fully reading Remus like today’s paper. “I just think we both know it’s because they weren’t Sirius”
Remus had nothing to say to that. “Just… bin the number, I don’t want to talk to him”
Lily sighed, exasperated. “You don’t have to talk to him but I’m not throwing out his number, just in case”
“I’m not going to call him” He replied, leaning his chin on her shoulder.
“I know, you’re too set on making yourself miserable”
“That’s not true”
“Oh sure”
“I don’t even like him”
“I saw the way he looked at you, clearly he still cares a lot about you and…” she paused, kissing Remus’ forehead before reaching for two plates. “you do too or else you wouldn’t have invited him up earlier”
“I just didn’t want to leave him out in the cold” That’s all there was to it, Remus had told himself earlier. He was tired and leaving Sirius outside, alone in the cold, in a city he probably wasn’t familiar with just seemed like the wrong thing to do.
“Sounds like caring to me” Lily replied in a sing-songy voice.
Remus resorted to sticking his tongue out instead of formulating a response.
Lily passed him a plate filled with pasta and the two brought their food to the sitting room. “Who’s manning the bakery?” Remus asked, suddenly realising that neither one of them had gone to work.
“Marlene and Dorcas, I went in to check when I was picking up Mrs Pettigrew’s shopping” Lily paused for a forkful of pasta before continuing. “She was asking about you”
“Why me?”
“Dunno, she likes you”
Remus raised his eyebrow, changing the channel and ending up on an episode of Doctor Who.
“Yeah, I don’t know why but she said you should drop by soon” Lily added.
“Mmm, I might later”
The two finished their dinner in a comfortable silence, occasionally commenting on what the current Doctor was getting up to. After dinner, Lily showered and Remus finally got the chance to take that bath he had wanted nearly all day. He bid Lily an early goodnight afterwards, seeing as he was up for the morning shift the next day.
Remus didn’t mind working at the bakery, it meant he never had to walk far to get to work or to get home. He wasn’t passionate about it like Lily was though which meant for him, waking up at the arse crack of dawn wasn’t worth it. Still, he got up, feeling a billion times better than the day before, and got dressed. It was 4am when he got there and the only other person with him was Mary McDonald.
Mary was a good friend of Lily’s and just as passionate about making the best baked goods as she was. Their entire staff consisted of five people, usually there were two people there from 4 am up until 4 pm (despite it opening hours being 8am to 3 pm). During busier hours, another person came in from 11 am to 2 pm. It was a small business but it was open every day and sold everything from custom order cakes to bread, rolls and just nearly every other baked good under the sun. Lily was a fair boss and no one had to be in work for 4 am two days in a row since the bakery was so small, they didn’t need more than three people there at the one time. Usually they got by with just the two.
“Morning” Mary rubbed her eyes, turning on the radio when Remus walked in.
“ ‘Ello” He saluted, getting ready to sanitise the kitchen and get the dough prepared for all the baked goods they would be selling that day.
Remus liked working with Mary. She was quiet enough and most of the time the two got to enjoy listening to the radio, singing along to songs or commenting on the news as they worked. He hadn’t even thought about Sirius since the night before and all was going great.
That was until the clock hit 2:15. That was when Remus was working the till and that was when Sirius waltzed into the small establishment. Remus knew it wasn’t a coincidence because Lily’s bakery was small and very very local. There was no way Sirius had just so happened to wander in off the street.
To Remus’ dismay, after Sirius bought an eclair and a cup of coffee, he didn’t leave. Sirius didn’t leave even when he had finished, instead stuck around and ordered another coffee. Who drinks so much coffee, thought Remus, feeling more and more annoyed the more time Sirius spent not leaving. Eventually, it was time for Remus’ break and Mary took over the till.
Remus went out the back, into the alleyway for a cig and a yogurt. Unfortunately, he didn’t get to enjoy much of his lunch break by himself because after he had eaten, and lit the cigarette, someone he didn’t want to see appeared in his line of vision.
“You haven’t called”
Straight to the point then, Remus thought, taking an extra long drag of the cig. “No”
“Why not?” Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets, shifting his weight between his two feet.
“Why is it that you always get to be the one asking questions and pointing out how much I’ve changed?” Remus countered, putting the cigarette out on the ashy tray on the windowsill.
Sirius didn’t say anything so Remus straightened and took a step forward with his hands tucked under his arms, to keep the cold off. The fingerless gloves weren’t much help. “How come you’re New York? Why are you still working for your father’s bloody firm? And why are you so quiet and subdued?”
While all of this was spilling out of Remus, he suddenly found himself right up in Sirius’ face with his breath ghosting his lips. Sirius didn’t back down though as steel grey met blazing amber.
“You never asked” He replied simply.
“Because you never gave me the chance to!” Remus took a step back and one forward again. “I did now so… go on, out with it”
“My father recently branched out to America, New York to be specific and I…. I wanted- no, I needed to get away” Sirius spat out. “I needed to get away from my parents because I had enough of them and everything they stood for and… and I finally stopped being so afraid of them!”
“So why did you go after me then?”
“I didn’t go after you”
“You talked to me at the party and then you showed up at my workplace” Remus reasoned, “I’m so sorry that I misread the fucking signs!”
“You’re the one that invited me up to the flat!”
“Yes, because it was cold out and I didn’t want to be that guy who left someone in a new city out in the freezing fucking cold”
“Really? because you didn’t have a problem making jabs at me and being a cruel bastard”
“Oh I’m the bastard, sure”
“That’s not fair and you know it!”
“Well life isn’t fair either and you don’t get to decide what’s fair and what’s not, so how about you fuck off Sirius”
“No” came Sirius’ sharp reply.
“I beg your pardon?”
“I said no” Sirius’ voice was shaking and Remus hated himself for wanting to comfort him. “No because I’m still in love with you even though you clearly don’t want me to be because you’re acting like a condescending asshole 90% of the time and the other 10 you remind me of the guy I fell for in Year 7”
Remus felt winded. Year 7?? “You- you can’t just drop that on me….” He trailed off, staggering backwards. “I need get back to work”
He turned on his heel and ran a hand through his hair. Sirius said something, shouted Remus’ name maybe but his voice sounded distant and fogged. Somehow he stumbled back into the bakery to see Mary look at him with worried eyes.
“Remus?”
Her voice was distant too and the room was too warm. His lungs wouldn’t fill properly and his head spun. He felt like he was going to pass out and he would’ve literally hit the ground if Mary hadn’t caught him.
She put him in a chair against the wall and grabbed a bottle of water, fusing over him and saying things Remus wasn’t hearing because the sound of his heart racing was far too loud. Yep, this is how I die, he thought, leaning back in the chair and letting his head hit the wall.
Suddenly Mary appeared in front of him again, he could only tell by the hands on his shoulders as his eyes were closed. “Remus? Remus, deep breaths love” when Remus was unresponsive she tried again. “Remus breathe in, 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. and hold the breath 2... 3.. 4.. 5.. 6.. 7.. and out again, 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… 8…”
This time Remus followed Mary’s lead. They did the breathing exercise a couple more times before Remus felt stable enough to open his eyes again. “What happened?”
“Listen I-“ Remus cut himself off because what did happen. “Thank you, I don’t really- can we not talk about it?”
Mary was kind, there was no denying that. She nodded, despite looking concerned. “Of course, yeah, whatever makes you comfortable”
Mary insisted that Remus stay in the back for the rest of the day and he was happy enough not having to man the till. Sirius had completely disappeared and Remus was too tired to do anything about it. At 3pm, Mary locked up and they set about preparing ingredients and products for the next day, freezing selected stock and cleaning the kitchen.
By the time they had finished Mary was still concerned. “Hey, are you alright now?”
“Mmm, yeah, I’m good” Remus would’ve preferred to face Sirius again and risk another panic attack rather than have to talk to Mary about what happened earlier.
Mary gave him a tight smile and put a hand on his arm. “Mind yourself, yeah?” she gave his arm a light squeeze before the two went their separate ways.
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calpicowater · 2 years
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Week 49.1/52: December 6th - December 12th 2021 | YYC  ✈️YVR
Last day in Calgary was kind of insane wtf. Even during my last moments here this place refuses to let me rest. I took melatonin last night and managed to get 7 solid hours of sleep. Woke up tired regardless. Got ready, finished packing up, and checked out of my hotel. Went to work straight away. Morning shift went okay but we got so held up due to two weird students in a row. I finished my shift at 3:30pm and just sat at work chatting with coworkers until 4:40pm lol. Headed off to airport by train + bus again. Had to wait 30 minutes for the bus because I had JUST missed it. My fingers were frozen from waiting but managed to get nice shots of the tower. The bus was wack though, it was literally delayed by 15 minutes (we had to change vehicles midway like WTF CALGS?!?) so I literally ran to the check in and then ran to security and then ran to the gate. Managed to make it right in time for boarding but that triggered me. I have never been so close to missing a flight lol never again... must go back to my old ways of showing up at airport 3 days before boarding lmao. An old man behind me at security was hovering behind me like crazy and even took my bin that I was getting for my jacket like wtf. I literally said "hey?!!??" lmao. God what goes on... it's like one thing goes wrong and then everything goes wrong. I just wanted to go to my damn gate!!! I left for my flight so early yet somehow still rushed.......... this is on my manager for putting me to work a whole shift and try to catch the plane of the same day like HELP. Last time I was catching a plane and running to shift and this time the reverse. Either way, so wack and I am constantly so very stressed while traveling.... can't even enjoy it.
Flight itself was pretty wack too. The plane was packed with people (don't think I saw a single empty seat). HELLO COVID??? I was stuck in the aisle seat beside a dad and his toddler....... a fucking nightmare because the kid kept screaming and the dad had put his jacket ON me,,,,, like???? Plus he kept tapping the seat for like 10 minutes???? Like I understand we don't have a TV for entertainment but damn... lol. Thankfully the flight was quick and I was able to escape pretty quickly. Spent the flight writing these blog posts.
Overall feelings about Calgs...... I think the city is kind of wack lol. The public transit is pretty disgusting minus the CTrain but even the CTrain isn't as reliable as a regular subway system (because it's literally like a fucking car that stops at stop lights lol). The weather is okay but still cold and dry as fuck even though it's much better than Edmonton. Work was okay for the most part, pretty chill and close to where I live. But I really think being able to reunite with my uni besties Jerry (x2) and Tiffany really made my trip. Usually when I hang out with friends we just do one thing but I was doing 8388833 activities and going to like five places per hangout with them and it was GREAT. I had so much fun. I wasn't super close to my team during this time except maybe Matt towards the end but it was still overall an okay time minus the crackheads who come out at NOON and being pulled aside for a crime witness. :-) Time to go home and face reality and a shit ton of rain.... great.... 呵呵.
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spinster-sisters · 3 years
Text
Sunflower. Pt.2 LTY
Warnings: there is some mild sexy time thing but lemme tell you this relationship is toxic as fuck and get pretty heavy on the verbal fights so please don’t read if you are senstive to this kind of stuff.
THIS IS A REPOST FROM MY OLD BLOG
The minutes ticked slowly by on the clock.
You didn’t dare check the time, scared of how late it was, and how early you had to wake up in the morning. You were now in your senior year at university, and it took no genius to notice you had been somewhat distracted over the past year or so. And your grades took the fall for it, so here you were at the ungodly hours of the night, juggling fixing your grades and working at your part-time job.
And speaking of distractions, you hadn’t seen Taeyong in 5 days. He, as far as you knew, was in a similar boat, having put off school in favor of parties and drinking, he was somewhat distant to everyone that past week or so. You are fairly certain that the only people who he has even seen the past couple of days are his two best friends, Johnny and Jaehyun.
You had met them both a couple of times before, and they were very similar to Taeyong himself, though you had to admit, they were a bit nicer. But you had never gotten to close with them, certainly not close enough to ask about their friend. (Who you weren’t even dating)
As the hours went by you found your mind straying farther and farther away from the material of the book laid out in front of you, instead of to the beautiful man who had your heart. You were worried about him, you missed him. Your mind thought of the last time you had seen him. It had been at the last college football match, and since you hung around in similar circles your two groups of friends often sat near each other at these kinds of things. Not that he sat next to you, no way in hell. He kept his distance laughing and joking with his friends, barely glancing your direction. But you hardly even looked at the game, instead choosing to watch the expressions of the heavenly man only a few rows away. He had been wearing a graphic T, which had hung loosely of his lean shoulders,  and was tucked into his jeans. Your friends sitting next to you would elbow you in the ribs now and then notify you of something happening in the game, but not even the roaring crowd of thousands of happy college students could make you drag your eyes away from Taeyong as he jumped up, elated like his friends.
As the game came to a close you pleaded silently that the two groups of friends would stay together for the after-party, but your roommate (the person most aware of your infatuation) pulled you away from the festivities reminding you of the many hours of homework ahead of you that evening.
The party, you heard, was an eventful one. There were whispers through the grapevine that some disgruntled players from the opposing school found their way to the party and (though there are about 15 different versions of the story) Taeyong was the main reason 2 of them left with a black eye. You don’t know how much you believe that, Taeyong was many things but violent was not one of them, but it worried you none the less. Especially since he has been MIA since that night. I mean, what if he got hurt? What if he was in the hospital?
You pulled your mind out of the speeding train of thought. Your eyes were burning after staring at the pages of your textbook in the dim light for so long, and lateness of the hour only added to the heaviness of your lids. Not to mention the hard surface of your cheap desk and chair were a great discomfort to your aching bones after the long shift you had finished not 4 hours before. You finally gave yourself the relife of rubbing your bloodshot eyes and stretching your crackling spine. Now you looked at the clock next to you on the cheap yellow wood of your desk.
2:13 am.
As though the number themselves triggered it, you opened your mouth in a shaking yawn that moved its way through your body in waves.  The exhaustion and desire for sleep were so severe you wondered whether you would make it all the way to your bed about 4 feet away. After coming to the realization that continuing to stare blankly again at your textbook would change nothing, you moved to stand up, lifting your arms above your head and arching your back side to side feeling the pleasant cracks. But your movements twords your bed were halted by your phone notification flashing. Lifting your phone closer to your head, straining your tired eyes you read. It was a simple question from your friend about your plans the next day (something you planned on replying to tomorrow morning) but the alert sent a thought to your brain.
Maybe you should call him.
You don’t know why this came into your head, it’s not like he had the best track record for answering you, and it’s not like he is likely to respond after being away for so long. But your earlier thoughts and fears resurfaced in your head, enough so that you typed out a quick message to the man and sent it before you could think twice:
To: Taeyong
“Hey, don’t know where you’ve been but I missed you”
[2:15 am]
The train car stank slightly and rumbled severely, but the giddiness bubbling in your tummy at the thought of the day out with those closest to you had all negative thoughts pushed out of your mind. Soon the monotone robotic voice sounded over the PA informing you of your arrival. Your roommate took the both of you by the arms and safely guided the three of you off the stain and above ground. Though it was still early morning the sun shown brilliantly against the glass windows of the surrounding buildings.
Pushing the thoughts out of your brain you crawled into your bed.
———————————
The plans you and your friend had for the day was simple, heading into the city your campus was on the outskirts of. Both of you had been spending the past two weeks working your asses off so as a reward you, your best friend and your roommate were now sitting on the subway heading to the heart of the city.
Besides time and a meeting place, you and your two companions had no real plan for the day, instead, allowing the day to take you where it will. As the sun moved through the sky so did your group through the city, going from shop to shop or park to park, even possibly a wedding reception (though your roommate dragged you and your friend away before it could be considered “wedding crashing”)
As the day drew to a close, the sun finally falling behind the towers, your best friend had the sudden idea to do something daring. The day had been an all-round success and had even managed to keep Taeyong out of your mind for the past few hours which was a feat in itself, so you decided to indulge your friend and ask her what she had in mind.
You were stopped at a street corner outside a quaint looking coffee shop and the time for nightlife was just beginning. The three of you were stood in a circle and as your friend spoke she leaned in, giving her words a childish giddy tone.
“Let’s get tattoos!” she spoke in a whispered shout. You scoffed at the idea leaning back in disbelief.
“Why would I spend my hard-earned money to have someone draw on my skin?” you asked allowed, expecting to have your roommate, ever the sensible one, back you up. But after being met with silence your head whipped to her to see the pensive yet optimistic look on her face.
“Oh no, don’t tell me you’re ok with this?” You asked in disbelief, gesticulating madly in her direction. She gave you a sheepish smile and said;
“Well, it is our last year of undergrad, might as well do something to remember it” all the while speaking with a bashful smile on her face.
“What?!” you could not believe the words you were hearing. Looking back and forth between your two friends did nothing to ease the confusion on your head. But after staring at them for a minute, them looking determined, you spoke;
“I’ll come with you but don’t expect me to get anything” you spoke resolutely. At this your friend, the initiator of the idea refuted,
“No, absolutely not, we are doing this together or not at all!”  She looked defiant.
The longer you considered the darker it got and as much as you didn’t want to admit it you had been sort of detached from the people closest to you because of Taeyong and it sounded nice to be apart of the group again. You continued to mull it over for a few more moments before speaking apprehensively.
The day was now over and you were comfortably laying on your bed sprawled out over the covers like a starfish with a content smile etched onto your lips as you watched the blades of your ceiling fan revolve, listening to the gentle hum of voices from whatever your roommate was listening to in her room.
“Fine, something small”
———————
The parlor had been intimidating and severe but after walking out with a small sunflower tattoo on your right ribs (easily concealable in the future)  you felt like a new woman. The three of you pilled into the nearest public restroom to take an Instagram picture of your new “Ink” (as your friend so childishly put)
The peace was broken however when the blaring sound of your ring tone sounded through the room. Your heart jumped at the initial sound but you quickly calmed and reached out to answer it. Whatever spike your heart received at the ringtone was nothing compared to the jolt at the name flashing on your screen:
Taeyong
You stared blankly at it for a few moments before rushing to answer it, practically shooting upright on your bed while bringing your phone to your ear. The eagerness that boiled inside of you whenever you were around the beautiful man grew as you awaited the sound of his voice.
“Hello?” you said almost too quickly before the call completely connected. You half expected the kind of brooding silence he usually gave you to build anticipation when he called you for sex, but instead, he spoke almost as quickly as you did.
“Let me in” the voice was not the smooth or a rich as honey as it usually was, in fact, it was almost coarse and rough. But this fact did nothing to stop the growing need in your heart knowing he was so close.
You barely choked out a ‘sure’ before running to meet him. The fact you were barely covered in an oversized t-shirt you bought yourself and underwear and the fact that you did not tell your roommate what was happening did not cross your mind as your body acted practically of its own accord, flinging your front door open and running down the several flights of stairs to the main door. Only when you reached the main entrance did the state of your dress and the lateness of the hour occur to you. But you didn’t have time to be embarrassed with Taeyong on the other side of the door. Panting you pulled open the door.
The sight of him was as beautiful as always, to you, he carried a glow around him that made him stand out from everyone else. Your mind already fogging over from the proximity after being apart for so long. While you were starstruck at the sight of him, his eyes only narrowed as he looked you up and down once before shoving his way through the door. dazed, you allowed him to drag you wordlessly back up to your apartment by the vice grip he held on your wrist. The entire way up the stairs your eyes did not leave his back. Even in the thick hoodie he was wearing your eyes could almost see where the toned muscles of his back would be if you could see them, your mouth watered at the thought and your head swam with the desire to hold him as close to your body as possible. Taeyong gave you no such opportunity, instead of keeping himself at least 2 steps ahead of you, dragging you limply behind him.
When you finally made it back through the threshold of your apartment Taeyong kicked the door closed behind him a continued the pull you twords your room. Your roommate called out, “Y/N? What’s going on?” from her room, clearly still preoccupied with the TV show she was watching. You awoke from your daze the tinnies bit but before you could answer Taeyong spoke loudly in response:
“None of your damn business”
Pulling open the door to your room pushing you in ahead of him and slamming the door so forcefully you briefly thought it might break off the wall. Distantly, as though it was coming from underwater, you heard your roommate scoff as though unsurprised. But this was inconsequential to you right now, all your mind seemed to fully understand was Taeyong standing before you with a scowl etched on to his perfect features.
Normally Taeyong would take his time working you up to near insanity before acting but tonight he was a man on a mission, merely pushing you back onto the bed. You instinctively slid back till your back hit the wall but your eyes did not leave his. Honestly, it was rare to have his full undivided attention even when he was toying with you, but the penetrative stare made you feel as though he could see every inch of your body with x-ray vision and the sensation was intoxicating.
Taeyong wasted no time in climbing on top of you and caging your head between his arms. Your head was swimming, Taeyong, his weight pressing down on you and, his heavenly musk being the only thing any of your five senses you perceive. Your heart was racing a mile a minute and your throat constricted the closer he got. You’re sure he could feel the eagerness radiating off your body.
Taeyongs hand slid from their place on the mattress to the hem of your shirt and in one quick motion he pulled it off. An instant cold hit your now exposed chest, but after a year of encounters with Taeyong, you knew better than to cover your now hardening nipples from the cold air. But Taeyong didn’t seem to notice or care about your compliance with his tastes and rules, instead, his eyes were fixed, unmoving from the dark lines etched into your skin covered by the clear wrappings. His eyes swam with unrecognizable emotions but you, who are so attuned to him, knew after only a few seconds that he was not pleased with what he saw.
Your heart sank and dread-filled your chest, in a childish attempt to keep him from looking so disapprovingly at the mark you moved your hand to cover it. But the damage had been done.
The disapproving look did not leave his eyes as they slowly moved from the inky skin upwards to your hardening nipples. A low rumble came out of his chest as he moved you farther back onto the bed placing his body between your automatically parting legs. He moved his head closer and began leaving bites and bruises on your neck and chest.
You were in euphoria as the feeling of his wet plush lips moved up and down on your neck, leaving a cold slick trail in their wake. It did not take much for Taeyong to get you keening with desire, and though this was not his usual tactic of reducing you to putty by merely his words before even laying a finger on you, it was still working like a charm. As you looked down at your bodies pressed together and his beautiful hands sliding up and down your torso you had a feeling that he could feel the slick in your panties and the heat radiating off of them.
Eventually, Taeyong pulled back just enough to watch your expressions, one hand slowly slid from its place on your waist up your body to the roots of your hair, and the other slid lower, trailing the skin above your panties briefly before slipping into them. At first, he did nothing but stare at you. You were panting with anticipation, practically mewling at the mere thought of him. You are sure the desperation could be seen in your eyes, but you didn’t care, you wanted him to know how much he means to you especially in this way where no other man could give you the same satisfaction.
His hand was cold where it sat securely cupping your heat, your body started to buck slightly into his hand, pleading him to just do something.
“How badly do you need it?” He questioned allowed in a surprisingly amused voice. You whined out a response and bucked your hips once more into his hand.
“That’s, not an answer baby,” He remarked casually as the heat the pooled in your abdomen burned even stronger, sweat was beginning to form on your brow as your body worked itself up into a fervor. You wanted him more than anything you have ever wanted before. Your head swam with thoughts, but the only discernable thing in them was the face of the godly man before you, who glowed in the yellow lights of your bedroom.
“I need it so bad Tae” You spoke, your voice came out raspy.
“And who do you want to give it to you?”  He asked, finally moving his hand the slightest bit to slid between your folds. Your breath hitched so severely that you nearly choked. And when one long slender finger found it’s purchase providing your entrance you lost the ability to breathe at all.
It felt like you had done hard drugs with how intensely your mind spun. Every inch of your body tingled with desire for Taeyong.
“You, Taeyong, please” You pleaded so desperately, closing your eyes to shield yourself from the powerful glow that radiated off of him. But just when you thought he would grace you with the pleasure you so desperately desired, his hand pulled away and out of your panties abruptly. A pitiful whine so long and drawn out it was shameful, escaped your lips as your body attempted to curl in on itself to fill the spot where Taeyongs hand was not moments ago, but his lean body was still positioned over yours keeping you in place. The hand that had been in your hair tightened dangerously as he forced your dazed eyes to meet his clear ones.
“So just to be clear,” he spoke in his scarily dominating voice, “You need me” He spoke every word with such a definitive tone. Your eyes had gone wide in shock after the initial stupor and feeling of emptiness subsided. You pressed your back into the mattress and nodded at him, after all, it was true.
Taeyong leaned back onto his heels, still kneeling on the bed, still keeping you securely beneath him.
“When I saw it on Instagram I hoped it was a joke.” He stated plainly, crossing his arms after gesturing vaguely to the marks on your stomach. The disappointment that dripped from every word made you want to crawl deeper and deeper into the blankets. You had disappointed him, you shouldn’t have let your friends talk you into getting it.
“And to think I was going to reward you next time I saw you.”  you burned with embarrassment.
“And what exactly were you thinking” He accused, leaning back over you with a severity you had never heard in his voice. The shame was unbearable.
“Marking up your skin?” He nearly spat at you. You felt awful like you had failed him, the only person who mattered to you at all. But in his next words, his voice shifted to a sickly sweet tone.
“My baby girl doing something like this without asking me?” He asked allowed as if it was a scandalizing thing for you to do.
But his words caused something to snap in you. You were coming down from the dazed high that seemed to permeate your brain whenever Taeyong was around. You felt hurt and cut deep, and possibly for the first time, a twinge of anger rose in your chest as his accusatory glare still shown down on you.  
Your face hardened as the anger rose. Fuck this.
You forced yourself into a sitting position and pulled your discarded shirt over your head. Taeyong was thrown off balance by this and fell slightly onto the bed. His face held shock but anger was still the predominant emotion as he pushed himself off the bed to stand on the floor in front of you.
You had never acted out against him before so both of you seem equally surprised at your actions and certainly, neither of you knew what you were going to do next. Your brain was still quite a bit fuzzy but was gaining clarity quickly but the only thing you truly felt at this moment was, for the first time, you wanted Taeyong out. So that’s what you went with.
“Leave” you demanded simply, breaking eye contact with his smoldering gaze. Even as you spoke a significant portion of your hear was calling out to you to stop. To not let yourself push away the man you craved so intently. Taeyong made no move to leave only raising an eyebrow. You could tell that he was not taking you seriously, as he never has, so you repeated yourself, firmer and meeting his eyes.
“Leave”
“I’m not going to do that” he replies cooly, it was clear to him that he still held the power in this interaction and he was determined to keep it.
“Now how bout you tell me what’s bothering you so I can get back to dealing with this little act of defiance,” he remarks, causally gesturing to the patch of skin beneath your shirt. He was treating you like a child. Like a dumb little girl throwing a tantrum. You began to seeth where you sat staring up at him. He made a move to reach out to you but you shoved his hand away. Fixing your face with a determined expression.
“Taeyong, get the fuck out of my apartment,”  The mild amusement in his face disappeared. His eyes darkened dangerously, a sign you had become accustomed to. He was getting angry as well, but he still made no move to leave. The longer he stood there to more your blood boiled and the more you glared at each other the higher the tension rose.
“Watch your mouth, babe” He growled at you.
“Don’t tell me what to do Taeyong” You said raising your voice and pushing yourself off the bed to face him. You had never been anything but compliant with him, scared to lose whatever affection he had for you. Even in the moments he frustrated you or broke your heart you would still obey his every command because the idea of being without those few minutes with him was worse than enduring the hours of pain that he caused. But now as you stand here you could not stop the flow of words escaping your mouth, though deep in your heart you knew you would regret them later.
“Do not tell me what to do Taeyong. I am sick and tired of this shit! You come into my life, maybe twice a week if I’m lucky, fuck around with me and my emotions, make demands, make me act a certain way, only to leave me and disappear for days! and yet I still come running any time you call just for the chance to be in your presence. You treat me like I am a child and even when I am with you it’s like I am the 3rd thing on your priorities list!”
You took a panting breath.
“God fucking damn it Taeyong, you have stopped in the middle of fucking me just to go off to some party and you think you have the right to come in here and take ownership of my body?” You screamed out every word at him and with every word his face hardened.
“Sweetheart, I don’t think I have the right, I know I do” he growled out, “Because in case you haven’t noticed it is you that comes crawling back not me, it is you who hangs on every word I say, it is you who fell in love with me.” Spat out at you, voice dripping with malice.
“Yes I do treat you like a child because you are one, it’s like you are completely dependent on me and its pathetic! You call me and text me every fucking hour of the day like it’s my job to listen to your cries. I have better things to do than comfort you over every tinny inconvenience.” His speech was filled with more emotion than you had ever heard come out of him, and honestly, you wanted more.
“Fuck off Taeyong” You spat turning away from him and staring out your window.
“Oh, no no no, you wanted to fight, now we are going to fight!” He practically roars at your back, stepping closer to you where you stood your ground.
“You are the neediest and most obsessed person I ever meet. Remember I don’t need you, I really fucking don’t. And yet you get crazy every time I don’t talk to you for a day, what the fuck was that by the way 'Hey, don’t know where you’ve been but I missed you’ If I thought it was important that you knew where I was I would have fucking told you. I don’t fucking love you so why are you so obsessed with me”  He calls out to you. You rounded on him.
“Do not act like you didn’t want me to fall for you possessive son of a bitch! You were so scared of sharing your toys you made it a point to make me care about you so that others would stay away!”
Your voices were getting louder and louder with each passing jab.
“Yeah, I don’t like sharing! I never said I was a good guy Y/N, I don’t give a fuck about your feelings but I will be fucking damned if I let some random ass guy of the street touch you or let you put black shit in your skin! I know you better than anyone and you know what the best part is? It will fucking stay that way, cuz I know that right now you are just eating up all the attention I am giving you aren’t you, you pathetic bitch!
Just as he was about to continue the door was thrown open and your roommate stocked into the room. Her expression was hard and emotionless. She marched right up to where Taeyong stood motionless, grabbed the man by the collar and flung him twords the door. She spoke with the kind of finality that sent shivers down your spine.
"Taeyong, its time your you to leave.”
After processing her words he gave her a quick once over as if deciding if it was worth fighting. And as he turned and walked out the door you had the sinking realization had he had decided that you were not worth the trouble.
After the sound of the front door opening and closing your roommate turned to were you stood and addressed you for the first time.
“are you alright?”
It occurred to you now for the first time that you were crying. Because Taeyong was right, you did like it in those moments where it seemed for the first time that you were truly the sole object of his attention.
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the-moon-prince · 3 years
Text
The Last Of us~Kurapika x Reader ~Chapter X
AN: Hi my lovely fellows!
I’m sorry for the delay! Thank you so much for your patience and support! I’m here with the new chapter! I jope you will enjoy.
I wish you a pleasant read, and I hope you’ll enjoy the new chapter of my story.  (Chapter I) (Chapter II) (Chapter III) (Chapter IV ) (Chapter V) (Chapter VI) (Chapter VII)(Chapter VIII)(Chapter IX) (Chapter XI coming soon!)
Paring: Kurapika Kurta x GN! Reader
Word count: 2 652
TW: Mentions of Hospital ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The swings.
(Y/n) loved swings. So charming and amusing.
Even if they couldn't play like the other children, they could always go to the swings. Waving forward and then backward. Heights frightened them and even now terrified them. But with the swings, it was not like that. They felt brave and free. They had visited many. However, they remembered one in particular: the one that his grandfather gave them. The one in the garden of the house where they grew. When they swung, they could see the clouds and the sky. Knowing that their family saw the same azure as they did. They remembered the wildflowers that flourished at the end of the tubes that held it. They had quite a few memories of that swing. That also took place in that location. Their mami's face of horror at seeing them on the ground coughing blood tormented them for a while.
They were back in the hospital. They knew that they would return.  The lonely hours where no visits were allowed seemed long, even reading.
The moments when they were able to be with their grandparents were joyous. Perpetually trying to smile so they wouldn't worry about them.
"(Y/n)!"- a voice cried their name.
They lifted as fast as they could, responding as well as the tubes in their throats allowed.
"Julian!"- They felt so relieved to see him. Each night they spent awake, believing that they would never see him again. The boy, despite being simply 2 years older, was much taller than them. He ran to them sobbing and held them as if they were going to vaporize.
Because that's what they believed.
"(Y/n)!"-he sobbed their name again-"I'm so sorry; I'm so sorry; I shouldn't have left you alone that day. Not because you can't play ball with me, I want you to leave me."-his grip tightened.
They were weak, and their arms were shaking. Yet, that did not prevent them from returning the hug with all the strength that their small body had.
"It doesn't matter anymore. I'm not upset right now."- they consoled. 
If they were in his village, the two of them would look more like animals. Julian's tail would surely shake restlessly, and (Y/n) would rub their cheeks into him. They would be cat and dog, but they loved each other so much. Regularly playing clapping games, going for walks, reading together, or playing video games together. It's not like (Y/n) had someone else. From an early age, they had had difficulties relating to other cubs, including adults. 
"Julian, watch out for running! They are going to scold us!"- a sweet voice called. Immediately two elders entered, their hands full of bags and gifts.
"Mami, Papi! Hi!"-they greeted, already smiling.
It was an afternoon full of laughter, cake, sweets, and gifts. They played cards and chess - matches (Y/n) won- watched movies, read new books, and hugged stuffed animals. Except it was not (Y/n)'s birthday. 
Only visiting hours end sooner or later. And their company had to withdraw. The only difference was that the man stayed a while longer. Opposing hospital rules, which, as a doctor, he had never done previously. (Y/n) stared at him for a moment, not delivering eye contact, until they looked up.
"Papi, I'm going to die?"-they were looking directly in his eyes, searching for a response. 
They had a particular method of expressing their feelings, but that didn't mean they did not feel-they possibly felt with more intensity than the majority. Most would expect a kid their age to cry in that situation, but they did not cry. They were smiling.
"(Y/n)..."-the old man whispered and sat near them. He hadn't the courage to say it.
"I can't tell you that. However, if I can tell you one thing."-he took out a small case from the pocket of his trousers. He held their hand and placed the present in their palm-"Whatever happens, I'll be with you. Wherever you go, you will not be alone. And if so, you have nothing to fear."
When they parted the lid of the box, in its inside covered in red velvet, laid a pair of earrings. They were drop-shaped pearl pendants. A peculiar gift for a kid their age. Most would give jewelry like this to someone older.
"My grandfather gave them to my mother, she gave them to me, and today I give them to you."-he continued-"When you have them on, I will accompany you wherever you go. Since our auras live in flowers, a part of mine lives in those earrings. I'll be reminding you who you are and where you come from. So don't forget that you have a home to go to. Don't be afraid (Y/n)..."
The room's door was locked, and the curtains were down. The old man did not own the same appearance as moments ago; he resembled a massive wolf. Intense but soft fur and a spot on the right ear. He knelt to be at the child's height. They looked into each other's eyes, which some say are the door to the soul, for a long time. Without vociferating a word.
"I love you (Y/n)."-he wept, holding his tears.
The mentioned one offered him a smile.
"I love you, Papi."-they mumbled. They leaned forward to hug him, taking the opportunity to snuggle in the older's neck fluff.-"But I am not afraid. Not at all."
The man hugged them back. His paws were so big that they would definitely fit them into just one of them.
After that, he left, promising that they would return the next day.
What they told was a lie, they were afraid. They sobbed enormously that night, except they didn't want their family to see them that way. 
~
Kurapika opened one of his drowsy eyes, not feeling the embrace anymore. For a moment he was scared of being alone, that it was all a dream. Though (Y/n) was right next to him. Sitting on the mattress, their backs on the bed frame. They were not sleeping, just staring at the emptiness.
"(Y/n)?"-he groaned, the voice hoarse from sleep.
The appointed blink, as if dispersing the spirits that had them trapped.
They turned their heads to detect where the voice was originating from.
"Kurapika?"-they whispered, the speech clear.-"My apologies, did I wake you?"
"No. Rather, what are you doing awake?"-he was already awaiting the worst.
"I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. Don't trouble yourself,  please."-they quietly answers with a smile. 
How could they request him not worry for them? You can't stop caring about what you love. 
"What hour is it?"- he inquired, a bit bothered about the fatigue they might receive in the morning. At least it was Sunday, meaning neither of them had to labor. They would have the possibility of recovering hours of rest if they required it.
After a few seconds of silence, they answered-"4:37."
Kurapika knew the hard nights when attaining rest in a lonely bed seemed tedious. The difference is that they were not abandoned.  He was there for them and wasn't intending on leaving anywhere anytime shortly.
At least they hadn't had a nightmare, if so they would have told him so, right?
He lifted the blankets as a symbol for them to lie down next to him over. He didn't know if they would. Simply with them reclined anew, he would be satisfied. They paid obeisance to him, approaching and lying down nearby him. They came face to face. Kurapika enveloped his arm over their body, they did not hug him back. Yet, they pressed their forehead on his chest.
~
The morning was peaceful and pleasant. Kurapika and (Y/n) were sipping coffee and eating leftover cake from the night earlier in the salon. A disk was playing on the record player. The melody was smooth, the saxophone and the lyrics combined quite well. The silence among the two was charming. From time to time, they were silent, in the same room, just savoring the existence of the separate person. Not because they had nothing to tell. Rather, it was a matter of having their own spaces without isolating themselves.
Except, the silence always finished up breaking.
"I suggest we watch a film tonight. Today you can choose it if you'd like."- Kurapika enunciated, happy to spend quiet time with his lover. Having relaxing nights was rare.
"I...I deem the most convenient thing is for you to come home."-they hesitated, to resume right away-"Not that I don't want to be with you. I'm pretty occupied tonight, and I don't wish for you to miss a night of rest."
The answer surprised him at first.
"Are you going to cover someone in the unit anew?"-he questioned fully of irritant. They were profiteers with (Y/n). His companions rested on their professional integrity and goodness. Kurapika got tired of seeing his lover could stay awake nights in a row to cover night shifts or take care of delegated documents. He knew they would not leave a patient to their own fate; although he foresaw to have a discussion concerning it with them.
"No, not this time."-(Y/n) disclosed. If it was simple paperwork, they did it often with him, as long as he did not interrupt them.
"What will you do?"-he scoffed this time, no commitment had been mentioned to him. Although they had a poor mania to omit some points, not maliciously; globally they were details. That was not a detail.
They resembled uncomfortable. Kurapika already recognized their body language, and despite their perpetual smile, he could read them.
Their gaze was downcast, shoulders hunched, and they played with the edges of their sweater sleeves.
"I'm going to reclaim someone from my clan..."-they wept after a moment of the uncertain reserve.
From the beginning, (Y/n) had helped him regain scarlet eyes. Getting information and accompanying him. Nonetheless, they hadn't mentioned anything about getting their clan back. No contact, no remains, no meeting. Until today. Why? They were trying to preserve him? Did they want to avoid him at a distressing moment? Kurapika believed that retaining such secrets had ended since their discussion. That stubborn part of them that dedicated obstinately to secrecy frustrated him.
"(Y/n)."-he scolded once more.
They narrowed more as if craving to hide from his gaze. He wasn't mad at them. But it frustrated him that he was powerless to help them.
"(Y/n), I'm not angry."-his tone softened-"I desire to accompany you."
Their posture decompressed, though they started to fidget more.
"It will be a rather longspun night. It will be tiresome."-they maintained.
"I do not tend."- He would stand firm with this.-"I am here to assist you."
They suspired-"Thank you, Kurapika."-They had communication difficulties to solve, and weren't oblivious. 
"What time will it occur, where and with whom?"-he hinted, making sure to know the circumstances.
"The event will be held with a private collector. At his residence at 8:40 pm."-they specified-"Only that there is a relevant detail."-they added with a cautioned voice.-"The collector is another hunter."
The collector is another hunter. Not for lack of ability, but for the votes that restrained their children. It would be necessary to rely upon the strategy to evade some violent confrontation. On top of that, their identities could be in check.
"As it is clearly practically impossible to hide the fact that I am a hunter, I presented myself as a mere fellow hunter fond of oddities."-as suspected they already had a method.
"Regarding your company, we can pivot on my weak appearance."-they continued with the strategy-" He will never believe that a hunter would require a bodyguard, but an assistant is plausible. He told me that the "merchandise"- saying that last word with disgust-"will be weighty."
"I perceive that you had the strategy ready. That's why I don't worry. I'll stick with it."-regarding the tactical abilities of (Y/n), Kurapika did not waver. Their experience was remarkable.-"Still, you must tell me these genera of things."
"Reasonable, my apologies."-they bawled. 
Kurapika wasn't going to reprimand them. He was aware that they were not doing it maliciously, the communication obstacles were rather difficulties. He could never get mad at them for having some kind of challenge. 
~
The place concluded up being in an upper-class suburb of YorkNew. For the other hunter to live there, it had to be wealthy. And to be wealthy he had to be skillful. For this occasion, (Y/n) did not use its own vehicle. They rented a truck with a roomy hood. Once the house was spotted, they parked the truck far enough away for the details not to be well distinguished -being black it was conveniently camouflaged with the darkness of the night-but close sufficient to get there quick running. 
Before going down, (Y/n) was silent for a short moment. Without moving from the driver's seat. Their pupils would look very dilated if it weren't for the contacts they were wearing. They both wore, so as not to give any kind of clue about their origins. Followed by that silence, they closed their eyes and pronounced a rhyme while poking their chests with two fingers, in a language that Kurapika did not understand. A mantra for good luck, perhaps.
There was no security of any kind seen from the facade. They walked to the front door, which was quite high and made of black wood. Shortly after the bell rang, the door opened. Revealing a man, about 31 years old, but he looked younger. It couldn't be said that he had good taste in dressing, but the clothes they wore were of great quality. His hair was somewhat lengthy yet shorter than Kurapika's and ash-black in color. His aura felt dense and heavy. It was easily deduced that he had no intention of hiding it.
The man, like his aura, was imposing. He made them notice it as if testing their courage and challenging them to enter. Almost as if they were unworthy. 
"I presume you are (Y/n)."-he said, waiting. His voice was considerably gruff. The kind of speech that tilts in your eardrums.
"Precisely, a pleasure."-(Y/n) greeted, pulling their hunter license out of their wallet and showing it.
"Good, and he?"-the man pointed at Kurapika.
"Kurapika is here to assist me. I remember listening to you specify that the object was going to be substantial."-they reported hurriedly. Their tone of speech did not denote fear or insecurity. They weren't happy with the rudeness of pointing their lover
"I see. To be a hunter you look frail."-he expressed-"Come in, come in." The walls of the house were wide and the ceiling high. The interior was mostly light gray. The decor had a pretentious modernist tendency. A large number of objects stood out. Of all kinds, but all rare and peculiar. Shelves placed well in sight, figures, frames, vanities. They followed the man through corridors to a small bar, its wall full of bizarre exoticisms.
 If it weren't for the assiduousness they were displayed in, one would say that the person was an accumulator. The idea that the person had become a hunter just to gain privileges and the ability to purchase ostentatious exclusive treasures was more and more evident.
"Let's sit down and have a drink."-the man bossed. 
"Oh, don't bother. We-"-they got interrupted by the man. It was clear he was vulgar despite his money. 
"I don't bother. I want to make sure that I'm not selling one of my prized items to anyone."
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spencers-dria · 3 years
Text
Turn for the Better
Someone To Stay Ch. 1
Spencer x fem!reader
Spencer POV:
I open my eyes and glance around the room. It's darker than I remember. I must have fallen asleep reading on the couch again. I glance down and see a pile of books on the rug. Oh yeah...I only made it through about four books this time before I nodded off. I sigh in frustration that I'm awake. Might as well get up I suppose.
I wander into the kitchen and pull open the fridge only to be met with a jar of peanut butter, week old left overs, and a half empty jug of juice. Next.
I try again with the pantry. Almost completely bare. I guess this is what happens when you stop going to the grocery store. I settle on a cup of apple juice and a bag of chips... better than nothing right?
I slump back down onto the couch and pull my green wool blanket over me. As I stare up at my ceiling, as I begin to let my mind wander. But this was dangerous territory. I have to keep my mind occupied, I just have to. So I quickly sit back up and turn the TV to one of my favorite Dr. Who episodes. They say that anxious people re-watch the same shows because they find the familiarity comforting. I could definitely understand the feeling.
It was the weekend, which meant I wasn't called into work. Cases had been slow lately, as we spent quite a bit of time doing paperwork back at the office. Unfortunately for me, this meant less distractions. Distractions were good. Distractions were necessary. They are the only way I make it through the days anymore.
Things had finally returned to normal for me back at work. I was going into the field, and it felt like my coworkers were no longer tiptoeing around me. I hate when they do that, and it bothers me more than any amount of teasing ever could. I'm not so delicate, so easily breakable. Look at everything I have been through, everything I have endured. Yet here I am, still alive, still doing my job. I didn't need to be babied. So it was a relief when I felt the regular rapport I shared with my friends return. They had gone back to the sarcastic remarks and silly nicknames. I was grateful for it. They did, however, continue to check up on me. This was something that I did appreciate. They've seen me go down a dark road once before. I have no intentions of ever returning. I was stronger than that... I think. All I know is I have held on this long without resorting to any unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Coping mechanisms...oh how I wish I had something to make the healing process easier. Having a fairly empty social calendar left me alone often. Normally I would find comfort in the peace and quiet of my solitary apartment, but not quite so much lately. I couldn't very well make plans to go out, and I wouldn't even know how to begin to do that. Who would want to hang out with me right now anyways? I'd be a damper on the fun, and everyone knows it. That's probably why my friends stopped inviting me to the nights at the bar.
There I go again, letting my mind slip into a dark hole of anxiety. Its not a safe place to be. I quickly turn my attention back to the show in front of me, letting it drown out all other thoughts.
The ring of my phone quickly draws my attention away. Finally...another case! I jump up to answer, seeing the name on my screen: Derek Morgan. That's odd. Usually Hotch or Garcia call to notify us of a new case.
"Hello?" I answer, confusion lacing my voice.
"Pretty Boy! Buzz me up!"
Well now I'm even more confused. Derek never comes to my apartment. I quickly press the button letting him into the building and opening my apartment door, waiting for him to arrive.
As he comes up the stairs, he gives me a grin shouting, "Come on man! Get dressed. We're goin' out!"
I roll my eyes and retreat back into the apartment, Derek close behind me.
I sink back onto the couch, my eyes glued to the television as I tune him out.
"Aw c'mon. Don't be like that. How long have you been sitting there watching TV? Have you done anything else today, at all?"
I don't answer, I don't even look at him.
"Oh, let me guess. You've been reading all day, huh?"
"Wow, can't get anything past you huh?" I say dryly, regretting my tone as soon as the words left my mouth.
"Alright that it. You've been cooped up in here too long. Like I said before, we're going out. And I'm not taking no for an answer" he says sternly, raising an eyebrow at me.
I finally look up at him as I roll my eyes.
"You know I can kick your ass right?" Derek smirks.
"Fine" I concede. "Well...where are we going? I don't know what to wear unless you tell me what our plans are."
"Don't pretend you don't wear the same fancy button ups no matter where you end up going."
I let out a small laugh...he's got me there.
"Dinner at Rossi's. I know pretty boys are high maintenance but, hurry up or you'll make us late!" I smile at the nickname. Same old Derek.
Y/N POV:
You let out a sigh of relief as you watched your coworker approach you, ready to receive report. It had been a particularly busy shift, and you were ready to get some much-needed rest. You walked to each patient room, giving Clementine summary of the day and the latest updates on labs and vital signs. You stepped into each room with her, checking one last time to make sure each of your patients was doing well and didn't need anything else before you left. Normally you and Clem would spend some time catching up and making jokes, but she could tell you were tired and needed to be home more than anything. You wished her good luck on her shift as you made your way to the break room. After putting away your stethoscope and the large collection of pens, pencils, and markers you kept in your pockets, you finally headed towards the elevator to leave for the day.
You opened the door to your apartment to be greeted by your dog, Juneau. She was a rescue you adopted a few months back. She still needed to make progress, but she had really warmed up to you and your friends and seemed much more comfortable in her new home. After feeding her dinner and taking her for a short walk, you heated up a quick frozen dinner and sunk into your couch.  Curling up in your blanket, you spent a few minutes browsing through different streaming services only to land on The Office, as usual.  Your mind drifts to what your next few days might consist off. You just so happened to land 4 days off in a row, but you had no idea how you would spend your time. You glanced down at your phone as it lit up.  It was your Uncle Will.
"Hey, whats up!" you chimed, glad to hear from your favorite uncle.
"Hey, (Y/N). I'm actually calling to invite you to a dinner some friends of mine are having tomorrow night. I know your schedule is real busy. But I haven't seen you much since you moved up here to Virginia! I know you haven't met many people here yet, but I think I can help you make a start. "
The kind gesture made you smile. You had always been fairly close with your father's side of the family. He had grown up in Louisiana and met your mother at a college in Texas. You spent your childhood in Houston but frequently visited the Cajun half of your family. Uncle Will had moved away once he fell in love with Jenifer Jareau, his now wife, and you hadn't seem much of him the past few years. But as luck would have it, your nursing career had lead you to a hospital in Fredericksburg, VA. You felt extremely lucky to have family nearby, or else you would have been completely alone. But sometimes you still felt that way, which is why you were so grateful for his offer.
"That actually sounds great! I am off for the next four days, and I didn't really have anything planned. Who will I be meeting at this dinner?"
"Well it's some of JJ's coworkers. They're like a second family to us, and I know they'll be just as welcoming to you. I already told them you moved up here, and they've been begging to meet you."
"Aww I can't wait to see Aunt JJ and my sweet little cousin, Henry! Its been so long since I came to visit you guys. I think Henry was barely two years old the last time I saw him."
"Well we all hope to see you a lot more now that you're here. You're like a daughter to us, Y/N. You are welcome to visit any time you like. I know nursing is a stressful job, and it can take a toll. Its important to have family and friends around you when things get tough." You could hear that this was a genuine offer and you fully planned to take him up on it in the future. Being alone in a new state was taking its toll.
"So where and when should I plan to meet for dinner?"
"I'll text you the address real quick. Everyone is planning to meet around 6. It shouldn't be too far of a drive. It's one of JJ's coworker's houses. David Rossi. He's a real easygoing guy, and he loves cooking for everyone. He loves meeting new people even more, so you should feel right at home!"
"Sounds like a fun time. Thank you again for thinking to invite me. I'm really looking forward to it!"
"Alright boo, talk to you later."
You smiled at the pet name used by the entire Louisiana side of your family. I guess the north had yet to steal his southern roots. You hung up the phone. You finally had plans. It would be nice to talk to someone who wasn't a coworker.  It would also be your first excuse to dress up since moving and starting your new job. Too excited to wait, you jumped up from the couch and began to rifle through your closet for something to wear. You didn't want to be too over or underdressed. You grabbed a black spaghetti strap fit and flare dress and throw it on with some black panty hose, a lightweight maroon cardigan, and some black heels. You snapped a quick photo in the mirror and shoot a text to Aunt JJ.
Y/N: Apparently I'm joining y'all for dinner tomorrow night...is this too much???
Aunt JJ: I heard! I can't wait!
And oh my goodness, no! You look gorgeous! It will be perfect.
Also...Henry is so excited to see you!
You smiled, more confident in your choice. Aunt JJ had great taste. You had only had the chance to meet her in person a couple times, but the two of you had clicked right away and stayed in touch over text and Facetime. Sometimes she felt more like the sister you never had.
Starting to feel the effects of your particularly difficult shift, you start to get ready for bed. You wanted to be well rested for tomorrow. You say goodnight to Juneau and crawl into bed, snuggled under all the blankets. You fall asleep with a smile on your face, with the feeling that things in your life are about to take a turn for the better. You couldn't explain it...but somehow you just knew.
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thesetrashimagines · 4 years
Text
The Man Pt.4
A Peaky Blinders Imagine (reader insert)
Warnings: Fighting, blood, broken bones, losing of teeth, swearing, and a very vivid description of a bullet wound.
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Illustration is from here. Creds to Jonathan McGonnell for the concept art.
Pt.3    Pt.5
Summary: The fights have begun.
AN: It’s another long one, sorry! Hope you like it though :)
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“Welcome ladies and gentlemen!” You heard the microphone squeek to life then Peter’s voice boom through it. “I am so glad to see all of you here tonight! And look at all of those familiar faces!” Peter was the announcer tonight, said he didn’t want to go home to the missus all bruised up.
He went on his usually spiel about boxing and threw in some jokes here and there. You ignored him. Taking another look at yourself fully dressed, you were filled with anxiousness. Hercules was a lot bigger than you, but so was every man you fought. Most of their arms were the size of your head. You hopped from one foot to the other, to shake the feeling off. A series of knocks came from the door, “Adi? Nik is about to start.” You tossed everything back into your bag and went for the door. “Wanna go watch Nikki kick some arse?” Cal had the biggest smile on his face, “Yeah let’s go,”
Both of you walked to the front and saw a row of seats with some faces you recognized. The Shelby’s took up one end of the row, Finn sat next to the woman you saw at the store, ‘should’ve guessed she’d be here.’, then it was Polly, her son, the capped man, Tommy, and lastly Arthur. Sat beside Arthur was Theo and beside him was Dante. “You took long enough Adi.” “Bite me Dante.” He chuckled while you took the seat next to him and Cal planted himself in the unclaimed seat.
“Your lucky shorts?” Dante flicked his head to your shorts, “Yep.” You crossed your arms and leaned forward, “‘ello Theodore!” The large man shifted your way, and so did the Shelby’s along side of him. “Adi! Glad you joined us!” You smiled, “You know I wouldn’t miss one of Niks fights.”
Arthurs’ head poked out from behind Theos’ arm, “Ya think Nik will win?” You shrugged, “Can’t say. Don’t you want to keep it interesting?” “Why you know something we don’t?” Flashing a toothy smile you answered, “You’ve never watched Nikolai Elis fight?” He blinked, “That’s the Nikolai Elis?” Theo clapped a hand on Arthurs back, “Yes lad who’d you think we were? Amatuers?” Cal laughed and leaned over you, “Come on now Arthur you didn’t think Peter would be friends with just anbody?” The man stuttered, “I knew you lot were well known boxers but-”
Tommy interrupted, “Adonis, Cal. You haven’t met the rest of the Shelby’s have ya?” Looking to him you shook your head. “this is Pol, Ada, and John.” He pointed to each person, with a tight lipped smile you responded, “Hello.”
Cal waved, “Hi!” but your introductions got cut short by Peter jogging up to the mic. “Is everyone ready for a fight?” Cheers and whoops filled the arena. “That’s what we like to here! Alrighty, bring ‘em up.” Nik entered from the left side of the ring, you and the boys cheered for him. Dante called out, “You’ve got this one Nik!” He winked in your direction as a response. Then Isaiah entered from the right and most, if not all, of the Peaky Blinders stood up and cheered. “Kick his fucking arse Isaiah!” Finn shot a fist into the air which Isaiah returned. Then both Nik and Isaiah were called to the middle of the ring by Peter.
“Lads listen here now. I want a clean fight, this ain’t no backwater bullshit alright?” They nodded, “Okay so no hits to the groin, no stomping on each other, and no biting. Got that?” They nodded again. “Good! Ladies and gentlemen we have in the right corner, Isaiah Jesus!” Isaiah faced the crowd and rose both arms, “And in the left we have Nikolai Elis!” Nik waved an arm. “Okay let’s tap gloves boys and get on with it.” Both men stepped forward. Isaiah hit Nik’s hand and jumped back.
People started yelling immediatly. Isaiah jumped around for bit before taking the first plunge, almost as if he knew, Nik blocked the outstretched fist. They went in a circle, Isaiah went for another punch. This time Nik turned slightly and took it to his shoulder. Planting his feet firmly, Nik threw his first hit; punching Isaiah square in the face. The boy staggered back a bit, arms low to his side.
“Raise them arms Isaiah!” Arthur yelled. Isaiah’s arms came up to block his face, seeing his bare torso, Nik took his chance and hit Isaiah 3 times. Then he swung his arm back and delivered a left hook to the side of Isaiah’s ear. This time Isaiah jumped back and bounced on the balls of his feet to shake himself off. He watched Nik stand there in a defensive stance and stare at him. Isaiah ducked down and got underneath Nik’s arms. He punched over, and over, and over. You could hear Nik’s breath come out in puffs.
“The legs Nikki!” Dante added to your advice, “Fold him Nik!” Isaiah’s hits were getting weaker so Nik dropped his elbow into his shoulder. Then, while Isaiah had his back arched, Nik took a step and hooked his foot behind Isaiahs knee and pulled. The ring shook from the impact and the bell rung. Nik waited for Isaiah to get up before going into his corner. Cal stood and walked over to him, you could see them talk to each other then share a fistbump. Cal came back over and whispered to the 3 of you, “He’s gonna take him out this next round. Said he’s done playing nice after that kid tried to beat his kidneys to a pulp.” You all chuckled and focused back on the fight.
Nik stuck to his word. In the first few minutes he let Isaiah tire himself out, every punch Isaiah gave, Nik blocked. Then in just seconds Isaiah was out. Nik hit Isaiah in the gut causing him to hunch slightly, a right hook to his jaw, and an uppercut to finish him off. Isaiah rolled over onto his stomach and his blood dripped onto the floor. Not wanting to waste anymore time, Nik grabbed Isaiah’s leg and bent it towards his head. The sound in the arena was deafening but you could still hear the pained groans coming from Isaiah. He slapped the ring floor. Nik dropped his leg and stepped away from the boy as people came into the ring to help him stand. “And we have a winner! Nik Elis!” Peter raised Nik’s arm into the air. You all shot up clapping and cheering.
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Finn and Dante stood facing each other as Peter went over the same set of rules. Then bumped gloves. Right off the bat Dante hit Finn with a round of punches to the stomach. The quick attack took Finn off guard but he recovered and swung at Dante, hitting him in the face. You could tell that Finn had more of a ‘prefessional’ way to his fighting style. His throws were more thought out than Isaiah’s. Though his defense against kicks needed to be brushed up on. Dante saw this and went with everything he had. “He’s kicking the shit outta that kid.” You turned to Cal, “That’s gonna get him in the end.” “Good we’ve told him enough times to conserve his engery in matches.” Theo grunted in agreement and folded his arms, “ ‘e’s gonna get a good one to the face in a minute.” On que Finn hit Dante with a left hook to the jaw. Dante spat out blood and smiled. He was riled up now. The two of them dodged and blocked, their speed was almost equal, almost. Dante took a step to the left and Finn mirrored but as soon as Finn settled into his stance, he dropped. Dante had roundhouse kicked Finn in the face, Cal stood up and cheered, “Atta boy Dante!” At the call of his name Dante looked up and gave another bloody smile. In his moment of distraction Dante failed to notice Finn getting ready to kick his feet from under him.
Now both men wrestled on the floor trying to get the other into a lock. In the end Finn was able to secure Dante arm behind his back. Dante hated tapping out, you could see his mind go through every possible way to get out. 
“Don’t let go of his hand Dante!” Theo called out.
While laying on the floor Dante held out a thumbs up. And with whatever strength Dante had left he used and got out from under Finn. Moving quickly, Dante put Finn into a headlock and gave him 2 punches to the face. Finn twisted himself out of Dante’s hold and threw a fist to the side of his face. Dante took a few steps back and Finn followed, he didn’t stop until he was against the ropes; he jumped backwards into them and allowed them to send him forward into Finn. Knocking both of them down, Dante put Finn into a leg lock. They lid there on the floor for a bit with Finn trying his hardest not to tap. Eventually he did. “Winner by forfeit, Dante!” You all stood up again and celebrated.
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There was a small intermission before the next match. “Cal!” Bonnie Gold came bounding over to your small group, “Bonnie!” Cal jumped up and hugged him. “We’re fighting next,” Cal nodded, “Yeah can’t wait to see what new tricks you’ve got” Bonnie said hello to the rest of you and began talking. His father came shortly after and said they had to get go. “I’m gonna get my arse handed to me.” You giggled at Cal, “Yes you are and I have front row seats.”
Nik and Dante came back to join you. Theo looked over and smiled at Dante, “Look at that lip.” Dante smiled back the best he could, “What you want me to give ya a kiss Theo?” He pouted his lips out, “Yeah Theo give us winners a kiss.” Nik joined in and started to make kissing sounds. “Oi piss off you!” Theo put his arms out to hold back the two of them.
From the microphone, Peter cleared his throat.
“As most people know these next two fighters have versed before,” Almost as to prove they knew each other, Cal and Bonnie climbed into the ring and wrapped their arms around one another. “You’d guess these two were married. Look at ‘em!” The audience laughed. Peter broke them up, “Get in your corners now, can’t spend the whole night holding each other.” He went over the rules again, “I gotta add an extra special rule for this one. Bonnie, you cannot go pulling Cal’s beautiful ‘air okay?” Cal secured his hair back and yelled out ‘thank you!’ while people laughed and Bonnie nodded. With both men in their corners, Peter stood back and signaled for the bell to ring.
They began side stepping around in a circle. Cal took the first jump forward and threw a punch towards Bonnie’s face but his fist made contact with Bonnie’s forearms instead. Cal went for the torso next, he landed a few shots before Bonnie swung and hit him in the jaw. The force of Bonnie’s hit almost made Cal’s head spin. Bonnie got him good. Cal took a few steps back and shook his head, a few hairs coming loose. 
Then as Bonnie went to go for another hit, Cal stepped to the right and hit Bonnie with a combo; two punches to the ribs and one to the side of the head. Bonnie spun around quickly and threw up his arms in defense, Cal tried to kick him in the stomach but Bonnie grabbed his leg and shoved it forward, sending Cal onto his back. Cal didn’t stay down for long though, he threw his bottom half up and jumped once his feet touched the floor. Standing to his full height, he faced Bonnie again. Bonnie kicked Cal a few times in the ribs and Cal made sure to keep his hands high. While Bonnie was winding up for another kick Cal stepped forward and landed a hard punch to Bonnie’s cheek. This time Bonnie’s head swiveled. Cal took a moment to laugh but it was short lived because Bonnie punched him in the eye. He hit the floor like dead weight.
“Fucking hell Bonnie!” Everyone watched Cal curl up and cover his face, “Why’d you go for my money maker!?” Bonnie keened over in a fit of laughter. Cal scooted over to Bonnie and grabbed his arms then rolled on top of him, throwing as many punches as he could before Bonnie put up his arms. Bonnie did put up his arms but not in the way people were expecting, he put his hands onto the back of Cal’s neck and shot his knee up. Cal fell to the side and lid down on his stomach then shot a hand out and slapped Bonnie hard on the pec three times.
Peter ran over to see if Cal was really tapping out, “And the winner is Bonnie Gold!” Bonnie helped Cal up and then they patted each other on the backs. Cal was passed off to the medics and Bonnie hobbled along after them.
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“How’s Theo as a fighter?” Tommy’s voice made you jump, “Theo?” You turned yourself towards him and Arthur. “He’s as good as a guy that’s 226 centimeters tall.” Nik leaned forward to add on, “He’s light on his feet too.” Both men nodded.
“Isn’t Goliath Solomons’ nephrew?” Tommy looked a little surprised, “You know Alfie?” You scoffed, “Who doesn’t?” You mentally winced at the slip up, it probably wasn’t the best idea to tell Tommy that you’ve worked for Alfie before. Ignoring the look Tommy gave you, you turned back to Peter as he took to the middle of the ring again.
“You lot are going to enjoy this one. To make it simple, these men are giants.” Goliath climbed into the ring, “Goliath and-” Theo stepped over the ropes, “Theodore!”
Theo isn’t a agressive, or even violent, man. But watching him box would make you highly doubt that he wasn’t.
It didn't take long after tapping gloves when Theo threw his first hit. It was an uppercut and he landed it. There was a small space of time where Goliath was getting into his stance, and that's when Theo struck. The unexpected hit really threw Goliath off. He was stumbling a bit before finding his footing. He swung aimlessly at Theo, which Theo easily avoided.
Coming back from the dodge, Theo gave Goliath a left hook to his ribcage then another to his right side. Theo bounced back, ready for whatever was thrown at him. Goliath stepped forward, he seemed a little more in the moment now. Theo noticed and raised his arms and hunched, being taller than most of his opponents meant he had to crouch down more to limit the unprotected space of his torso.
Goliath jabbed at Theo's sides and even threw a few punches to Theo's forearms that were blocking his face. Wanting to tire out Goliath, Theo gave a quick succession of easy to dodge hits. Taking note of the shorter man slowing down, Theo knew his fist would be able to break Goliaths defense. So shifting his weight to his back foot, Theo swung his dominant arm forward straight into Goliath's forearms. And just as he predicted, his hand went straight through and made contact with Goliath's face. His entire head shot back from the force. Not letting the moment go to waste, Theo threw another left hook to Goliath's face.
You watched the tooth fly out of Goliath's mouth, "Knock his fucking teeth out Teddy!" You looked up to see Cal standing and hollering at Theo.
"Hey look there's the tooth," Nik nudged your arm and pointed down at the ground where the bloody tooth sat. "Should I pick it up? You know as a souvenir." You shook your head with a laugh, "By all means, go for it." Nik kneeled down and grabbed the tooth.
Looking back up to the fight you saw Goliath swaying. He wasn't gonna last much longer. Theo's light blue gloves had dark red smears on them and when he flicked his wrists, the blood went everywhere.
Theo's next few moves happened fast. His fist hit Goliath's stomach, which sent the boy waddling backwards. Then with another big wound up, he gave Goliath the winning blow. And like a sack of potatoes, Goliath dropped to the floor.
"Knock out!" Peter ran into the ring and put his hand on Theo's back, "And your winner is Theodore!" You and the boy were freaking out. While cheering you looked to the side and gave Thomas a wink.
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You were up next, the last fight of the night. You versus Hercules. The crowd was yelling both of your names, you tried not to let it get you worked up. Being nervous about these kind of things was bad ‘Come on YN you’ve done this thousands of times.’ Maybe it was the thought you might go too far in this fight, that you might hurt Hercules more than intended. ‘Stop thinking like that, you’re not gonna kill him.’ You slapped your face a few times to snap out of it.
“This has been the fight we’ve all been waiting for, Adonis versus Hercules! The fight between gods!” You cringed.
“Hey kid you’re up.” You smiled in thanks to the man opening the door and walked into the arena. Making sure to keep your shoulders back and head held high, you hopped into the ring and not too long after Hercules joined you. He had to be a little over six feet tall. With his strawberry blonde hair styled in a fashionable way and a stupid smirk on his face, he raised his arms to greet the crowd. 
You looked around till your gaze fell on the row filled with your friends and new acquaintances. Cal, with his bruised face, hollered while Dante and Nik laughed, Theo smiled and nodded towards you. You gave them a smile and shifted your gaze to the Shelby’s. Ada and Polly were grinning, Finn and Isaiah were looking at you and talking to one another, John was leaned back in his seat with a smug look on his face, Arthur was grooming his mustache in thought, and Tommy just stared at you like he was trying to pick you apart. ‘The fucks his problem?’
“I’m sure you both have heard me go over the rules enough times tonight but-” Peter dragged on about the rules, “Now let’s have a good clean fight.” Hercules nodded and you looked at him expressionless. Peter gestured with his arms for you two to tap, then the bell rang.
You knew Hercules was going to go for the first hit, the confidence oozed out of him. You raised your arms in defense and danced around on your feet, you heard Hercules laugh before he followed you around the ring. You could tell that the fact you weren’t saying anything or showing any emotion was bothering Hercules. He let out a grunt then shot his arm out. Seeing his fist coming towards you, you ducked and went underneath his arm, ending up behind him. He turned to face you again and took another swing, you went underneath his arm again. You waited to see if he would pull the same move again or change his tactic. He didn’t. When his third attempt came towards you, you leaned to the side and gave a right hook to his head then, a straight punch from your left hand to his stomach. He let out a burst of air and hunched over slightly. You bounced around him then sent a swift kick to his back which made him take two steps forward.
You backed up to the other end of the ring. Again you watched and waited.
Hercules stood up straight and turned to look for you, his eyebrows rose when he noticed you were a few feet in front of him. He bounced on his feet and rushed to you, taking a step to the left you hit him in the ribs. Hercules stuck out his arm and turned around fast. His forearm smacking you in the face, your head whipped back and you could hear a few people let out an ‘oooo’. Going with his momentum, Hercules threw a punch to your stomach. You keened over and stumbled backwards, you stayed hunched as Hercules’s thundering steps came at you, he threw another hit to your side. You felt your stitches pop. But you ignored the pain. Hercules put a hand in your hair and went to hit you in the face but you pushed yourself back, out of his reach, and kicked the back of his knee. Now a good foot shorter, you put Hercules’s in a headlock and punched him the face. Two, three, four times you wailed on him before Peter and a few other men came to separate you from the bloodied Hercules. People were yelling at you saying how you were cheating, ‘How am I cheating by using his own move against him?’ You scoffed a laugh and stood in your corner. Nik came rushing over.
“Good play Adi!” He was smiling from ear to ear. “What’s the plan?” Meeting his eyes you shrugged, “Maybe knock the fucker out.” You picked up your water canister and took a gulp, “Well you got him good” Nik had his arms up on the rope leaning against them. “I know.” You watched his eyes widen, “Your side’s bleeding!” You put the canister back down, “I know. I already told the medics it’s just a small scratch.” Nik put his head on his folded arms, “I shouldn’t be surprised.” You ruffled his hair and smiled, “Stop worrying, I’ve got a fight to win.”
“Let’s get our lovely fighters back in the middle!” At Peter’s words Nik patted your shin and smiled back, “Good luck YN.” You stared at the back of his head as he walked back to his seat. 
You stalked forward and looked at Hercules in the eyes then glanced up, his left eyebrow was split. “Alright we had a good first round, keep it up.” Peter dropped his hand between the two of you and got out of the ring. Hercules immediatley threw a punch at your face, no doubt trying to get you back for splitting his brow. But his fist smacked into your arms as you raised them to protect yourself. Hercules then threw a hit to your unprotected torso though before he made contact, you swung a right hook into the side of his face, making his head turn with it. He took one step to the right and you landed another hit to his jaw. He finally put his right arm up to block you. You could tell he was a little dazed so you jumped backwards as he swung about blindly. You wanted this to be a fair fight, you wanted everyone to watch you knock him out with nothing but pure skill.
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“He’s like a snake,” Nik looked to his side and saw that Polly had taken Theos seat. “Huh?” She smiled, “he reminds me of a snake. Sitting back and watching for his prey’s next move, and when the moment is right, he strikes.” Nik chuckled, “I guess so.” Cal looked at Polly in confusion, “Adi? a snake? Noooo, if anything he’s a puma. Stalks his food when he’s hungry and when he’s full, takes a nap in the sun.” Cal and the rest of the men laughed, “Yes cause if it’s anything that Adonis enjoys, it’s sleep.” Nik turned back to Polly, “If we’re being honest with you here Polly, Adonis has this, sixth sense almost. It’s like he knows what his opppenents are going to do. He can read anybody like a book.”
Polly raised her brows, “He can read people?” Dante leaned forward, “He’s like a dog, he knows when somethings up. It’s like his senses are heightened.” Next to Polly, Tommy spoke. “By the sounds of it, Adonis is an entire zoo.” Dante laughed and shook his head, “Now you’re getting the hang of things Tom!”
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You studied Hercules while he came back from his dazed state. His jaw was starting to get develope a welt and blood trickled down his face from the split in his brow, and his eye were deadset on you. There was anger in his eyes, you could see that from a mile away, he was mad you were beating him so easily.
The taller man got back into his stance and started walking in a circle which you copied. You started closing the circle and Hercules followed, now you were standing a few feet away from each other. Hercules smirked at you and in return you stared blankly. His fist shot forward and hit you in the cheek, you quickly put up your arms and tried to stand your ground but with the force behind Hercules’s punches, it was getting harder. You had to think fast. So you dropped to the floor, you weren’t near anything so Hercules couldn’t trapped you, it seemed like a good idea in the moment but of course something had to go wrong.
When getting to the floor your foot slipped, making you land on your back. The bottom of Hercules’s boot was all you could see. You raised your arms and blocked the foot, in the distance you heard the bell ding and people yelling. Wrapping your hands around Hercules’s leg you pulled him down and tossed him to your side but before you could get on top of him, arms pulled you back. “Adi I’ve got you mate, I’ve got ya.” Peter. You spun around, “If he fucking does that again Peter, I swear to God I’ll-” Peter put his hands up to calm you down, “I know what you’ll do Thomas told me and Nik what happened in the Garrison.”
You blinked at him a couple of times, “Oh...”
“Yeah oh. You have some explaining to do after this.” You laughed, “Of course dad.” You touched his arm and went back into your corner. You could hear the harsh whispers being thrown at Hercules. He diserved it after all, making an illegal move like that.
“One sitation to Hercules.” Peters voice was strick in the microphone. “In the middle please,” Peter looked between the two of you. “Kicking is off the table because apprently someone can’t follow the rules.” Peter was talking only to the two of you now. “You make that move again and you’re out, got it?” Hercules sighed, “Yeah I got it after the first ten fucking times you told me.” Peter’s jaw glenched. “Fight!.” He dropped his arm and left the ring.
You didn’t wait this time. You threw 3 quick hits to Hercules stomach. Then an uppercut when he bent over. With his head tilted back, you shot punch after punch into his ribcage. At some point you felt a bone snap under your gloves. Hercules shouted out in pain. 
He grabbed one of your out stretched arms and bent it behind your back. He was gonna try and get you to summit. Thinking 5 steps ahead of him, you slipped your hand out of his and slid it up to just above his elbow. Your back was to his chest and then you bent your knees and started to pull. You put your other hand onto his neck when his head came to the side of yours and just like that, Hercules was flat on his ass in front of you with his arm twisted up.
He tried grabbing you with his opposite arm but with every move you would step just out of reach. You leaned down the tiniest bit and spoke into his ear, “If you move anymore you’ll dislocate your shoulder.” He scoffed and went to grab you again, “A small thing like you couldn’t do shit.” He started to get up.
You twisted his arm a little further and he screamed and grabbed at the shoulder joint, “You’re gonna break it!” You rose a brow, “I remember saying if you moved anymore you’ll be the one to break it.” He let out another yell, “If you think I’m tapping out, you’re fucking wrong!” You shrugged your shoulders, “Alright.”
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“What’s he doing?!” Cal was freaking out, “I don’t know...” Theo answered, “maybe he’s waiting for him to tap?” Dante let out some air, “After his boot nearly squished him? No he’s gonna break his arm.” Nik rubbed his face, “Adonis won’t break his arm.”
“You sure about that?” Nik looked to his right, past Polly and Tommy, to see John. “It’s a pressional fight, Adonis knows the rules.” John nodded slowly then looked back to the ring, Nik stared for a bit longer then followed suit.
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Guess you had to go with your first plan. ‘Knock the fucker out’
Hercules was on his feet but in a crouched position and still holding onto his shoulder. You felt the arm in your hold try to bend forward, ‘Maybe I should let him.’  You thought to yourself.
If you let go right now he could only do one of two things: Spin around and try to get at you, or, Stand up and try to get at you. You sighed, pulled back his arm just the smallest amount then dropped it. Hercules let out a yelp and held his sore shoulder. You didn’t move. “Get out of there Adi!” It was Dante, you felt the sides of your mouth curl at the thought of the 4 men sitting together and worrying over their ‘little brother’.
Hercules’s shadow pulled you back into the fight, he was standing up. It didn’t take long for him to throw a punch to your face. You knew he split your lip when it felt wet, ‘fucksake.’ You brought your hands up to your face and dodged the next swing. You noticed Hercules was only one of his arms to punch and was using the other as a blocker, this gave you an idea. Leaning away from his swing, you planted your foot behind you and used the power of your legs to throw a hook to the vulenarable part of his face. He staggered to the side. You stepped with him and threw another hook, his arms lowered a little and that’s when you hit him. Right in the center of his face, a sickening crunch filled the air and blood poured down his face. He started to fall back and you hit him again. Hercules eyes crossed and he slumped to the floor.
Peter slid into the ring and raised your right arm, “We have our winner! Adonis!”
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You were sitting in the changing room staring at your bruised face, “Could’ve been worse I suppose...” Just as you were about to pull off your shirt, knocks and yells sounded from outside your door. “Adi you bastard!  Let us in!” You sighed, “Okay! Don’t get your panties in a twist Cal.” Opening the door you let the bodies flood in. Strangers were first to enter. Then the boys stumbled in; Theo, Cal, Dante, and Nik. Then some of the Shelby’s followed, Arthur, John, and Finn while Tommy, Ada, and Polly hovered around the doorway.
Next thing you knew you were being lifted in a bear hug and shook around, “Ahaha our little Adi knocked that fucker out!” You let out a wheeze, “Theo I can’t breath.” He dropped you and clapped a hand onto your shoulder, “You wrecked him mate!” You smiled, “That was the plan I guess.” Words of congratulations were said by mostly everybody.
Dante was sat on the counter, “I swear to God you were gonna break his arm.” You laughed, “It’s funny you say that cause Hercules said the same thing,” You squeezed through the crowd, getting patted on the back while doing it. You reached the mirror and looked at yourself again then to Dante, “I told him if he moved anymore he’d disslocate his shoulder. Then the cunt said I couldn’t do shit to ‘im.” You turned on the faucet and washed the blood, Hercules’s blood, from your face and neck. “Showed him didn’t I?” Dante chuckled and shoved you, “You did more than that Adi.”
You could hear Nik shooing people out of the room. “D’you know any of them?” You looked to the crowded hall, “No.” Nik pushed Ada, Polly, and Tommy into the changeroom, “Can’t have you lot fending for yourselves out there.” Ada laughed, “I don’t think anyone has said that to a Shelby before.” Nik put his hand on her back as he walked around her, “Well theres a first for everything huh?” John was glaring at him, “What’s that suppose to mean?” Nik was beside you looking over your injuries, “It means that not everyone has to be alone and fight against the world by themselves.” He turned your face towards him, “So philosophical Nikki.” He slapped your cheek lightly, “You don’t even know what the word means.” You pulled back in shock, “I do so!” Nik leaned on his hip on the counter and rose his brows, “What’s it mean then?” Theo opened your bag and dug around for a bit. “Don’t answer him Adonis, you’ll just embarass yourself.” Your jaw dropped, “Aren’t you suppose to be on my side?” Cal and Dante looked at each other and busted out laughing, “What’s got you two cackling?” Cal’s head was tilted back and Dante was holding his stomach, “Adi...” Dante gasped, “Adi...you should know,” Another wheeze, “We never listen to you.” Theo chuckled and walked over to you with a clean shirt in his hand, “Awe don’t pout little brother,” He pinched your cheek, “I’ll knock you on your fucking ass Theodore.” You swatted his hands away.
“Are you always bickering?” You all looked at Polly and Nik answered, “Only sometimes.” You broke eye contact and snatched the shirt out of Theo’s hands, “Do you think you could steal a med kit for me?” Nik pinched the bridge of his nose while Cal spoke up, “Do you want me to just go get one of their medics?” You shook your head, “No I don’t like ‘em”
“Why don’t you like ‘em? They’ll fix you up for free and you can stop stealing shit.” You looked at John, “They’ll half ass it and for your information I only went to the hospital in the first place because-” Peter opened the door. “What’re you yelling about now?” Nik faced him, “Adonis wants to snag a kit from one of your medics.” Peter groaned, “Adi we’ve been over this, they are qualified-”
“I don’t care! I couldn’t give a flying fuck if they’re qualified.” You turned to John and pointed a finger at him, “I also don’t have to explain shit to you.” Your fist clenched the fabric in your hand. “I need some fucking air.” You shoved Peter out of the way and left.
“Adi!”
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“Look what you’ve done now.” Dante said. “Me?! The fucking kid knows my team is legit!”
“Yes but you know how he is!” Dante had his arm out in the direction of the door, “And hows that?” Dante looked to Ada who was sitting on a chair across from him. “He’d rather do things himself. Trust me it took him forever to even let Nik come near him in a 100 mile radius with a fucking dishcloth.” Nik slouched on the counter, “He doesn’t have the best track record with doctors.” Peter huffed a laugh, “He doesn’t have the best track with fucking anybody apparently,” Peter looked to the others, “Did he tell you he broke into their pub?” He jutted his head to Tommy and Arthur. “Peter-”
“No Nik he’s hiding shit from us and I’m done with it.” Cal groaned, “Peter we know he’s into some dodgey stuff.” Peter gawked at Cal, “Dodgey stuff? Cal he killed three men and left on the fucking floor!” The room was silent for a moment. “Did he really?” Tommy looked to Theo’s hazel eyes, “Yeah.” He shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck, “I guess it makes sense.” Peter put both hands to his face and took a deep breath, “Please Theo, mate, elbrorate.” Theo pulled his shoulders back and spoke, “He leaves for weeks on end with no communication, he doesn’t own a single thing except for whats on his back, and the every growing list of shit he can just do. I don’t know how you never put two and two together Peter, but it’s pretty obvisous Adi isn’t just a boxer.” Peter seemed to calm down when the rest of the group nodded, “I guess I never thought of it like that.” Cal walked over to him and put his arm around Peter’s shoulders, “We never want Peter McFought to think to hard or you’ll blow a casket old man.” The room dissapaited into quiet chuckles.
“So he is an assassin?” Nik glanced at Finn, “Hes a handy man and we’ll leave it at that.” Finn nodded.
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You wanted to yell, you wanted to punch something, you wanted to break down. But you couldn’t, you wouldn’t do that to yourself.
The cold outside air burned your heated skin. You were at the back of the building in the small alleyway, it was quiet except for the rumble of cars in the distance. It was nice.
You leaned against the wall and ran your hand through your hair, taking a deep breath. ‘I need to leave soon.’ You pulled at your sticky red stained shirt and scoffed a laugh. ‘All I asked for was a fucking med kit. A med kit! And he acted like I told him I slept with his wife!’ You let out another scoff before the firey rage came back and you turned around to punched the wall a couple of times. The air stung your open knuckles, you watched the blood crawl down your fingers and drip onto the pavement.
“Adonis?” Your shoulders stiffened, “Yes Polly?” You heard her heels click on the concrete then felt her hands cradle your own, “Now there was no need for this.” You ripped your hands out of hers, “Don’t fucking tell me about what I need to do.” You looked down the alleyway, “I didn’t mean to snap at you.” Her hand touched your chin lightly and turned your head towards her, “I know love.” She slid her hand down your neck and settled it on your chest. “How ‘bout we go and get you all fixed up hmm?” You grabbed her wrist and dropped her hand then nodded, “Ladies first.” She smiled at you and walked back into the building, she looked over her shoulder once in awhile to make sure you were still following her.
She opened the dressing room door and waltzed in, “He’s alright now.” Everybody was sat down at this point. You could feel their eyes all on you as you walked up to the sink and started washing the dried blood away. “You okay Adi?” Nik had his head tilted trying to catch your gaze, “I didn’t mean to yell at all of you.” He smiled kindly and put a hand on your shoulder, “It’s alright mate we shouldn’t have over stepped.” You finally met his eyes, “No Peter was right,” You tuned to face the rest of the room, “I’ll just go see one of your guys.” Peter’s eyes widened, “Adi you don’t have to, I know how you feel about doctors,” You put up a hand, “Yeah well I’m gonna have to get over it at some point, so let me put on my big boy pants and get this fucking thing over and done with.” Peter stood up slowly and left the room.
“So why are you afraid of doctors?” Ada let out a groan, “Arthur you can’t just ask that!” He turned to face his sister, “Why not?” She glared at him, “Because it’s rude.” You attention was caught by the flame lighting Tommy’s cigarette. He took a long drag and let the cloud of smoke out.
“Adi?” You looked to Dante, “Hm?” He looked to the floor surrounding you, “You’re hands are dripping blood everywhere.” You flexed your hand, “Yeah they are. Hope you don’t mind a little blood Tom.” He let out another cloud, “It’s not like I haven’t cleaned up blood left by you before.” You laughed, “Yeah I guess not.” You sat on the floor, “You wanna know something? I still haven’t been paid for that yet.” He let out a chuckle, “No?” You shook your head then lid down with your arms propped behind your head, “Nope. Imagine that, getting sent into a gun smugglers barn, full of armed men, then getting chased and shot at, just to end up in a little pub with the fucking three musketeers trying to kill you.” You shook with laughter, “I couldn’t even keep the nice car either cause you lot shot it up.” John laughed, “What’d you expect? Just to leave?” Before you could answer, Peter and a man with a large bag entered the room.
“Mr. Adonis?” The medic looked around the room for you, “Get up off the floor!” You put a hand out and gave the ‘gimme’ fingers, “Help me up please?” Nik grabbed your hand and hauled you up, “Excuse me Mr. Adonis, I’m gonna have to ask you to please take off your shirt.” Nik froze, “Could we go somewhere else and do this?” His head whipped around to look at you, “Uh well sir there isn’t any better place than here.” He saw you clench your jaw then smile, “I’m gonna keep my shirt on thanks but, do you have any morphine in there? My stitches ripped open in the ring,” Everyone watched you pull up your shirt to just above the wound, “Oh shit. Yes, yes I have morphine.”
The wound was terrible. Just like you said the stitches were ripped open and the skin that once held the thread, looked torn, almost shredded. Blood was crusted around the wound in a weird oval shape while some was still wet and began to trail down your side slowly. You could tell that all the moving you did ripped the edges of the wound, making it longer horizontally.
“I think I’m gonna be sick.” You looked up to Cal, “Feeling woozy?” He closed his eye and flipped you off. “Can I ask how you got this?” The medic handed you a small bottle of morphine. “It’s a gun shot wound.” He knelt to the floor and looked closer, “Are you sure? this doesn’t-” You finsihed the bottle and tossed it to the ground with a clank, “I’m pretty fucking sure yeah, cause I pulled the bullet out myself. It looks like that because of the fight. You know the stitches tried to keep it closed but then I got hit and it all tore open again.” You looked down at his head, “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
“Adonis,” Peter growled out your name, “knock it off.” You looked to Nik and then jumped back, “Ow fuck! Don’t go sticking your fucking fingers in there you twat!” The man pulled back, “Sorry! Just tryna to make sure there isn’t anything else in there.” You glared at him, “I told you I pulled the bullet out myself. There isn’t any of it left. It was a clean shot from behind, the gun was shit so that’s why it didn’t blow all the way through.” The man on the floor nodded, “Okay I believe you.” You squinted at him, “Just stitch it up and get out.” Peter was about to say something but Nik put a hand to his chest and gave him a look that said ‘don’t’
The morphine had kicked in when he started to thread the needle through your skin, “Since the skin is ripped, the stitches are going to be fragile. Meaning no more fights.” You nodded. “No more fights, got it.”
“All done.” The medic stood up, “Good now leave.” You dropped the edge of your shirt and faced away from him. The door closed, “You’ve got some nerve.” You picked up the discarded shirt you threw in your earlier rage, “Yep.” You tossed the shirt into your bag and then you reached for your water cannister and did the same. “Arthur, Tommy.” You stopped yourself and looked at them, “Your money's over there.” You pointed to a briefcase that was under the counter. “It was nice to meet the rest of you,” You tipped your head towards the rest of the Shelby clan.
“I’m going home now.” You hoisted your bag onto your shoulder and left, still dressed in your boxing gear
“Why is he being so dramatic.” Cal scratched his beard, “He’s pissed off.” Dante scoffed at Nik, “Yeah no shit.” Theo stood up, “I’m going with ‘im” He left out the open door.
“Oh for fuck sakes.” Peter lifted his arms up and then back down. He crouched down and picked up the briefcase. “I hope this can help you forget about the last few minutes.” He handed the case to Tommy, “It’s alright Peter, we all have our moments.”
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When you got home you stripped out of your gear and put on a clean tank top and some briefs. You felt tired so you went upstairs and lid down in bed. After laying there for what felt like hours, you couldn’t fall asleep. 
There was a thud downstairs then there was some harsh whispers. ‘Are they back?’ You stood up and walked down the steps. At the bottom of the stairs, standing in your livingroom was 4 men all dressed in dark clothing. 
“Can I help you gentlemen?” Their heads shot up to you, then one of them held up a pistol to your head, “You’re the one who fucking killed my men.” He gestured his gun to the side, “So this is how it’s gonna work, you come with me nice and quietly and tell me who you work for or,” He cocked his gun, “I blow your fucking brains out right now.”
‘Fuck.’
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And that’s part 4! I really hope you guys enjoyed this one, I sure did lol. I apologise if things are a little messy in some parts, I was sorta rushing the writing a little bit. Also I know that the Shelby’s are so out of character but I feel the need to tie them in every chapter so please forgive :( 
In the next part though there will most likely be a lot of backstory for the reader (that do be you). Just thought I’d let you guys know so you have a little bit of an idea what’s to come next! As always, thank you so much for reading! <3
Tags: @finallyforgotten​
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shesawriter39049 · 4 years
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|GOD SAVE THE QUEEN|M|JH|
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(Does he not look like he should be scaleing a damn window?!)
SMUT/ ANGST
Pairing: Hitman Hoseok & Mob Boss OC
Genre: Mob/Mafia/Organized Crime/Drug cartels/Established/unofficial but lowkey official couple...
WC-10K (A good 3-4 of it is smut btw) 
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 “I’m going to fall a fucking part, and so will my families empire and then what!? WHO the fuck are they going to blame then!? Huh? Definitely not my damn brother, he’s too coked out to even tie his fuckign shoe laces neverthless run the family business!”
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Note- This is old...I have a TON of mob/mafia-related “Pilot” chapters as I call them..stashed in my google Docs! This is a heaverier/ agngisterst read by the way, not a downer but just heavy ya know? It works just fine as a stand alone, but by the end of it you can tell that when I initially wrote it I was setting it up to be a series! One that would eventually involve the other boys as well, so there is some backstory!
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Hoseok;s tatted, and just radiates soft dom energy…and tbh that’s all we need in this world
The OC is stressed, and needs a damn hug...the end!
Warnings: (Nonsexual- Strong language, mentions of guns, drugs/drug use and addictions, violence and mentions of chronic illness..not pertaining to Hoseok though)  
Warnings- Soft Dom Hoseok, breathe play, slight pain kink(very minimal prep before sex...by choice) overstimulation, handjobs, light come play, spit play, chill dirty talk....unprotected sex.Semi public sex-ish(in her office while the guards are outside the door...)
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Hibiscus island, Miami Florida 8PM 
‘Alright, so I’m looking at about, a half kilo of snow, hmmm, maybe a little over a quart of skag and a couple hundred Tabs of Molly…”
The line went dead on the receiving end causing the man in question to attempt the phrase again…maybe his connection was bad?
“Helll-lo? Boss I said I-”
“I heard you. Was there a an actual question in there somewhere or where you just letting me know your eyes still work?” The level of just…. dry...that fell from his tongue just now….
“Well I-umm no.No...I just wasn't told exactly what was being retrieved from the plane so I just wanted to make sure this was accurate and noth-”  The scoff that rung through the other end was borderline humiliating, as if to imply there's no way in hell he could even think this was “accurate”.
“No Mark, it’s far from accurate, but what you see in front of you is what’s there…”
Ahhh, so that explains his happy go lucky sunshine personality at the moment.
“Okay, well I’ll have this sorted and get the plane sterilized, am I sending this down to the west wing for a quality check first or is this just being disbursed to the runners?”
A deep agitated goan rattled in his throat, god whyyyy does everybody have so many questions today!?
“Just-just put it in one of the storage units for now, I’ll deal with it later” Hanging up the call before any more questions could be rendered because he honestly didn't have the patience to even pretend like he cared right now! The minute the call dropped his phone buzzed indicating he’d receive about his 8th text in a row from a person he’s a second away from releasing a full barrel face on! 
It took every ounce of self control not to just let the phone slip out of his hand and shatter against the patternized stone walkway swirling beneath his feet!
Clearly,Hoseok’s not in a good mood, like, at all...there’s just so much floating through his mind right now he’s practically running out of space to even breathe! 
He’s tired, Irritable, that earth-shattering smile of his is nowhere to be found, instead it appears to have been replaced by a semi-permanent snarl. Oh, and the best part, Germany, yeah that was a complete and utter shit show. It was supposed to just be a simple negotiation in regards to you guys expanding to a new territory. Yet he feels like the last thing he did was actually talk, I mean fuck palms still feel as though they’ve been damn near rubbed raw at this point.  Hours, that’s how long it took to rid his otherwise delicately stealth hands of their custom crimson overlay! And to make life even better, he’s the one who has the pleasure of sitting down and debriefing the whole failed mission to you! 
So yay, he loves that for himself...truly…
 Everything just feels heavy, his head, heart hell, even his spirit at his point! Feet dragging through the opulent Medetriann style courtyard as if they weigh more than he did. The only thing that somewhat has Hoseok in a decent mood was you, the fact that he’d be able to see you in person after what felt like 6 years, which in all actuality was a little shy of 5 days! 
Easing his way through oversized dual french doors, into an area that essentially acted as the east wing's  “Lobby” if you will, panes of white walls, and thick black arched windows framed the entryway. The dim lighting hanging from the cast iron chandelier gave the effect that the stark white walls were almost glowing against the moonlight peeking in. My point? The atmosphere appears calm at first glance, warm..inviting...everything Hoseok needs it to be right now because again he’s NOT in the mood for bullshit. All he’s dealt with over the past 120 some odd hours was bullshit! Hint’s why your European connect is a good, meh, four soldiers down at the moment!
I can’t say Hoseok had a specific…”Greeting” in mind upon strolling back into the compound tonight…..
However, what I can guarantee is the soundtrack that is you going full hulk mode in your office, while your guards stood outside looking like bats outta hell, definitely wasn’t high on his list! The men stationed at the security desk were already whipping their heads around before he even pulled the door open. Ah the beauty of cameras, at this point they weren’t sure what was worse. You, playing whack a mole behind the wall or Hoseok’s reaction once he put two and two together! 
It takes all of 3 steps before another piece of something glass and undeniably expensive shatters against the wall. Accompanied by a loud grunt on your behalf, voice breathy and fragile, which lets him know you’ve been at this for a while. 
The level of just, exhaustion he could hear heaving from your throat is what had him more alarmed than anything else. The fact that you clearly didn’t have the self-control to tell your body to stop…which isn't like you at all! I mean fuck, how long have you been in there?! Hoseok’s heart was beating so loud he could hear it pulsing through his ears! 
“What the fuck did you guys do?!” The first and only thing to leave his lips as he huffs towards the control desk. The guard initially stationed in front of the camera’s, rolled his seat to the far left within seconds. Allowing his superior the space to do whatever he needs, they heard Hoseok’s mouse make about 1 good click before…
“Fuckkkkk” Cursed from his lips with enough depth to bounce off every surface in the room. There was an additional gruffness laced within his tone due to lack of sleep.. which almost made the sound more initiating, borderline animalistic. Hoseok’s voice actually broke towards the end, the growl dying on his tongue before it even started. Head bowing towards the monitor as he rocked forward, attempting to re-center himself. Keyword there….”Attempting”
Precipitously, there’s another sound rattling the air and no, it’s not another object flying against the wall ,it’s Hoseok’s fist...right into the marble desktop! Yup, there are no cameras in your office...why? Because you and the man in question have no fucking self-control...which suddenly he’s really, really regretting! Well, actually, there are cameras, however they can only be turned on from inside the office,and he already knew you turned the feed off! That’s why he’s on 10 because he can’t see you..at all! You could be hurting yourself in the process and he’d have no idea! The entrance to your office is camouflage for obvious reasons, to naked eye one wouldn't even know there was an office!
Even as your consigliere Hoseok didn’t ask for much, never has, not a big fan of relying on others to handle his needs...hmm wonder why he got to that point. Still, an unspoken rule of thumb when he leaves..is it’s every mother fucker's job within the compound, hell even the damn birds that frequent the garden! Everyone, needs to do their part to make sure he dosen’t come back to this..especially with the way things have shifted internally as of late! 
And by “This” I mean you having a mental breakdown in your office, because you aren’t one to just break shit for shits and giggles! This isn’t how you deal with a transaction going south, or a distributor sending over a bad strand of coke.. something’s wrong..really fucking wrong! 
Silent, dead silent, that's what Hoseok was, and that was utterly terrifying, your men knew to give him his space, that he’d address them when he’s ready. All the while carefully observing the way his fingers twitched anxiously next to one of the soldier’s guns, before wrapping his hand around the trigger. Teeth grinding together hard enough to crack a molar, repeating his initial question…
 “What. The. Fuck. Did you guys do?” Gritted through clenched teeth as he paced the gun between the three men standing in the lobby. Not even remotely concerned that he was outnumbered because they all looked petrified...as they should….clearly patience was the very last thing he had tonight. 
“Ugh, nothing we-” Click….there goes the sound of the safety, all of three words and a staggered pause in….
Hoseok’s stance never faltered, eyes blazing into the youngers with such intensity it took everything in him not to divert his gaze away from his superior. Head cocked to the side, jaw clenched painfully tight, you can actually visibly see it twitch. The slight arch in his brow let the guard know that was the wrong damn answer and this wasn’t multiple choice, it’s fill in the blank! So he’s got about one more try before this gun goes off, and suddenly you lot will have yourselves a red accent wall! 
“Hoseok, I swear we really-” Coyly swaying from behind the desk, edging his way closer and closer, to the dumbass that still hasn’t figured out how to properly answer the question. Connecting the gun to the side of his head, shoving the lackey against the wall in the process, there was an oddly calming aura radiating off his body right now. Which was clearly in strong contrast to what was currently taking place...and that’s because this..isn’t new to him anymore. The act of taking one’s life doesn’t weigh on his heart the way it used to and maybe that makes him a monster or..maybe it makes him damn good at his job. 
This was simple honestly, if they're not the reason for said breakdown then tell him what is. Not excuses as to why it wasn’t them because clearly that won’t get him any damn where now will it?
“Fuck-...she-she went and saw her dad!” Bingo! He all about choked on that…
 “ ...and she’s been like that ever since...I swear! I swear!” Hands above either side of his head,  shaking like a leaf in the wind, Hosoek could practically see his Adam’s apple bobbing against this throat, as he backed away. 
The shift within the air was palpable, they could’ve gotten whiplash from how quickly his eyes inverted, from pure rage to pain and concern. Shoulders slouched in on themselves as he released a shaky breath from his lungs, staggering backward as he ruffled his fingers through his jet black locks. Almost appearing somewhat winded by the update that he already kinda braced himself for honestly. 
“Fuck”  The word hushed from his lips so faint he doubts any of the men even heard him. Eyes fluttering shut briefly, his opposite hand rested on the bridge of his nose. Squeezing unnecessarily, tight, intentionally re-inflicting the pain he felt maneuvering through his chest!  It wasn’t even a full 30 seconds before he heard something else shatter into pieces, instantly snapping him back to reality, forcing him to reroute his thoughts. 
“How long…” There was a sudden dryness laced within his delivery as if he really didn’t want to know the answer.
“About a hour...or so….” 
“And I’m assuming she insisted on going alone?” No even bothering to make eye contact as a hushed “Yes..” fell from the guards lips. A low hum rang in the back of his throat while his eyes outlined the patterns within the marble, silently trying to pull his shit together before he made his next request….
“Override the security, and buzz me in….” The guards couldn’t help but feel a little shell shocked at how, monotoned, and emotionless his delivery was. One minute they could feel every once of his frustration without Hoseok even opening his mouth! Suddenly, it was like he’d completely removed himself from the entire conversation. Initially, his lack of patience steamed from other bullshit but now, none of that mattered, Germany, the drug deal, none of that even scratched the surface, all that matters right now is you. 
“Boss I don’t thin-”
Gaze slowly rising from the desk, cold, and somewhat feral, not quite sure why he’s being questioned, but right now, but it's definitely not the time! Bringing his nine back level with the guard in question, Hoseok didn’t have to say anything, his middle finger caressing the trigger said it all, expression blank. Gaze daring him to do anything but, buzz his superior in as he asked..nothing more, nothing less. 
Within seconds the center wall which at first glance just looked like a block of white Statuario marble started to shift, exposing all the shattered pieces of decor on the ground. Not even attempting to warn you first because he knew you’d tell him to leave. So instead, he took a deep breath, dropped the gun back onto the desk, cracked his neck a couple times, braced himself, and stepped inside. 
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Ya know, if circumstances were different the site in front of him could actually be somewhat comical. You, standing in the middle of this obnoxiously large gilded office, all dolled up in your heels, tight little LBD, dawning every curve on your body. A wrist full of Cartier and Bvlgari,hair curled...looking like you’re ready for a night on the town. Yet, instead of sitting in the middle of some 5-star restaurant drinking aged Scotch your in here. Angry, winded and breaking shit...really expensive shit at that! 
However, there was nothing even remotely humorous in regards to the reason behind your sudden rage. Honestly, it broke his heart to see you like this! Yes, the heart that most barely believed he truly had, but that’s neither here nor there, the people that matter know it threw and threw. Hoseok could feel the anger radiating off your skin even from where he stood. You were ablaze, nothing but utter rage, doused from your pores, but what made it even worse was the blatant desperation underneath it all. 
Every scream just seemed more and more broken...sure maybe he’s a hypocrite, he breaks shit all the time when he’s angry, hell people and objects included.  But you....this wasn’t you..and this wasn’t a healthy way for you to cope! To be real the only reason he stood there so long was because he needed a second to pull his shit together! The longer he stared at you the more his chest tightened, eyes burned like hell. His fingers twitched at his side trying to resist the urge to just come grab you, but he knew better. 
Sure, in most people's eyes, and by most I mean 99.9% of the population, you’d be the farthest thing from an angel! You lost any ounce of purity yearsss ago, still, in his eyes..there’s no one more untainted then you where it counts! And that’s, all that mattered because he knows better than anyone that you have a heart made of 24kt gold. A heart that needed to be protected at all cost, and clearly at the moment that’s not happening, because he can see it! Shattering all over the place along with very pricy china! 
Chest rising and falling painfully hard against itself, you were damn near blacked out in rage. So much so you didn’t even notice your office doors opening or closing. You, the woman that trained her ear to hear the faint hum of an elevator in an upscale hotel. 
Leaning down until your face was flush with the desk, gripping the edges so hard Hoseok could hear the floor creak. He couldn’t help but notice how flushed your knuckles looked, bouquets of bruises already blooming along the smooth surface. The moment of silence only lingered about….half a second, just long enough for you to recharge and grab something else to hurl at the wall. Voice-breaking before the hiss even fully rolled off your tongue, and that  “Something” was a set of Tiffany’s champagne glasses that you utterly adored! Well aware that wouldn’t go over well once this was all said and done so he figured that was his cue. 
“Y/n…” His voice wasn’t loud enough, abrasive enough, and frankly, you were far too absorbed to even hear him on such a neutering level! Sooo, he tried again. Slipping seamlessly into his…”Boss man”  tenor if you will, adding a dash of base to his voice that you could not only hear..but feel! 
”Baby!”
You startled upon hearing the endearment, head snapping around, body staggering until you fell back onto the corner of the desk. Bracing yourself with one arm, so you didn’t actually fall, chest heaving in short staggered breaths, as you gazed back at him, though it was clear initially you really weren’t looking at him.  
“Don’t!” He could see your body starting to curl in on itself as you shifted under his gaze which currently felt like an uncapped bulb in the middle of an integration room. The warning was too half hearted for him to even acknowledge!!
“Fuckkk''  Cursed from your lips only loud enough for you to hear once you gazed up at the clock through swollen eyes, not even realizing how late it was. Far too consumed in anger to remember that Hosoek was even coming home tonight, infuriating yourself even more because this was the last thing you wanted him to walk in on.  You didn’t want to burden him with the task of having to put you back together again, you’d been doing it just fine yourself for the past 5 or so days since this has secretly become routine as of late! You cry, you break shit, you touch up your makeup, and then you walk out of your office like nothing happened and continue running this 9 figure empire.
 “Just-go-go, back outside….” You were trying to sound strong, determined like you weren’t falling apart, and you were failing...miserably failing, you weren’t in control you were practically begging. The concern in Hoseok’s eyes was more than evident and that made shit even worse. Yet no matter how bad his palms were aching to touch you, he didn’t dare to reach for you yet, he knew your limits, and right now still wasn’t it…He could physically see you shudder as if it  wasn’t a solid 75 degrees outside right now.
The silence was too much, way too much, it felt as though it was ripping you apart, or maybe you were ripping yourself apart? Maybe it’s just harder to hide from yourself when you no longer can drown out your thoughts with the sound of you screaming and breaking shit…
“Fuck, this is about Germany right? Or Amsterdam? Whatever it is, whatever you need from me. You can have it...we can talk I promise, but right now,  I need you to leave…” Trying your damnedest to hold is gaze but it felt impossible because you knew he saw straight through you!
The pause was long enough for him to say something and still...nothing...it was like he was trying to push you enough to finally admit what you really needed from him.
“I just need a minute...t-to pull my shit together and then I’ll be fine, then we can talk.” You were practically whispering, your voice was so trashed and distressed. Forcing yourself to drop an octave, removing any texture from your tone  in order to properly “convey” your message yet he still didn't budge! 
“Hoseok, don’t make me ask again...just-” Shoeing your hand towards the door to replace the word you couldn’t quite get to roll off your tongue. 
Everything about you was contradictory because now you wanted him, your eyes were pleading in agony for him to hold you and make everything disappear. Yet, your tone was dry, removed, as if he was some low-level soldier on the totem pole, not to mention you legit just told him to leave. But oh how your emotions betray you when it comes to Mr. Jung! No matter how much bullshit you just spit out, you really only said one thing...and he heard it clear as day. 
Hoseok already knows, he knows you like the inside of a VP9 Veterinary pistol, no matter how cold your delivery was it didn’t stop him from easing off the wall and invading your space. You could feel him before he even got in within 10 ft of you, his aura already starting to infiltrate your little bubble! His stride was slow, confident, making up for all the things you currently lacked because that’s what a good partner does! 
He could see how hard you were clinging to the table as if you were using that to ground you, afraid of how lost you’d get once he got in arm’s length. This man had a soul that outweighed yours by miles and that was one of your favorite things about him, how deep he could go in more ways than one.  Hoseok didn’t stop until he was standing directly in front of you, close enough for you to taste the speirment on his tongue. Still, he hasn’t touched you and now you really needed him to touch you! The sweet musky scent of his cologne filling your lungs, you could practically feel the heat radiating off his body, god why weren’t the two of you in bed right now? Not even having sex nesicarilly,  just naked, skin on skin...you just wanted to feel him. It’s actually disgusting, the amount of control he has over your entire sense of being at this point. The way even just the slightest touch can completely throw all of your senses out of whack or back in whack I guess I should say.  
“Hmmm, a minute is all you need yeah….” Not even attempting to phrase it as a question because he knew it was all bullshit anyway!  So you didn’t dare respond, not trusting your voice anyway, just keeping your eyes trained on his...getting lost in how bright they looked in contrast to yours. Spreading your legs on instinct so he could get even closer, shifting slightly on top of the desk. 
Hands braced on either side of your frame to give him leverage as he tilted forward. “Well, it seems as though you’ve had….many minutes, hours even..” Eyes wandering around the room observing the mess you’d made, yeah the maids gonna need a bonus after this!  
“It doesn’t appear you having time alone has done you much good so try again baby…”Hoseok had a tenor that was meant for your ears, and your ears only. The typical bright almost giddy little accent to his tone was always replaced by a calmer, warmer one. An underlying element of sensuality that exuded just the right amount of calculated…. control….an effortless sense of dominance if you will.
Staring down at you through hooded lids thoroughly, reading for any ounce of discomfort! Once he didn’t find any... finally, you felt his hands take a firm grip on your waist. Your body tensed initially, hoping to counteract how hard you were still shaking! Hint, you failed, you were practically vibrating against him at initial contact!
“Breathe y/n...” 
“I am, trust me that’s the only thing I can do right now…” There was still a slight bite rolling off your tongue, no matter how winded you sound. However, in Hoseok’s eyes sass is better than silence so carry on! 
Nosing along the side of your neck, right beneath your ear, next to your windpipe, letting him feel how you truly felt, which was unbalanced and a little lost. Your heart rate per 15 seconds was probably double what it was on an average day and yes, Hoseok knows how many times your heart beats per minute on an average day! 
“Baby...” Cooed from his lips almost sympathetically as he slowly started painting a trail down the side of your neck with his lips. 
“Hoseok, I-god-I can’t-” You “can’t “what exactly?  Relax? Give in? Shut your brain off? What “Can't” you do? 
“Yeah, yeah, you can, let me turn shut your brain off for a minute , let me take care of you.” Hands gently ravishing your body, effortlessly sending goosebumps down your spine with every feather-like touch. 
“I’ll give you any, and everything you want, but I won’t leave you alone right now…” The words fanned against your skin making your shiver against him, no matter how calm his tenor was the dominance was clear as day! You didn’t have a say in the matter….
Reclining your neck on instinct giving him more room to work as you tried to clear your mind of any and everything that wasn’t Hoseok as you let your eyes fan shut. 
“Hoseok…” Staggered out heavily feeling like you were choking and he only offering a hum in response, not letting up from his current mestractions….”Fuck, yeah, okay just- just keep touching me...please” You weren’t typically a beggar even in bed but right now you needed him, not int he mood to be sassy or play hard to get, to be honest, you just didn’t have the energy. 
“I’m not going anywhere baby..I’m right here..all here for you..always…in any way you need me…” Palms soothing down your thighs, reaching under to smoothly wrap them around his waist, bringing his hips flush to yours. Once he felt you secure your ankles he reached for your hands, kissing along your knuckles before sliding them under the back of his shirt. Knowing how skinship puts your mind at ease, and the second the pads of your fingers graze his skin...you’re already finding  yourself digging your nails into his shoulders. Ripping a low growl from his throat, as he rocked his hips forward, re-positioning his arms on either side of your body so his forehead was flush to yours. 
“All here for you, in any way you need me..” That seems to hold a lot more weight as of late and no matter how much you’re trying to rid your mind of those thoughts..you can’t, you fucking can’t. Suddenly you’re clawing at his shoulders for a different reason, and it hurts, and not the fun kinda pain either…he hears a faint whimper leave your lips, as you clung to him even tighter.
“Y/n….” He exhales, voice shaking eyes glazed over, welting full of tears he’s praying don’t fall because he needs to be strong for you right now. “Baby” There was a blatant plea laced within that and you...
“I know, I know…” it’s unsaid...though it’s clearly not unsaid because you know...youuuu know, the two of you avoided that word. Maybe because if you said it that makes the idea of losing each other even worse. So for now, you’d just prefer to endlessly show it…....
Talking would just suck ass right now, so you opted for the later and leaned in, it wasn’t soft or delicate..you kissed him hard. Until he was gasping through his nose to breathe while, almost stifling forward,letting your hands wander up his shirt to thread into his hair.  Tugging at his scalp until you heard him moan against your tongue, taking that as your invitation to lick your way into his mouth which he accepts willingly. Reclining his jaw letting you have control because he figured you could probably use that right now.  Your lips moved with such emotion, and just pure passion that you don’t know if you’d ever felt so weak under him..yet powerful all at the same damn time! You almost feel lightheaded, the more you kiss, tongues meeting with such desperation your chest feels like it’s burning. Teeth clashing, nails clawing so hard into Hosoek’s skin it hurts but he doesn’t give a damn.
You tilt your head back giving him free access to do as he pleases and he bites. Hard. Until he rips a moan right off your tongue and it sounds so damn good….Nipping licking and sucking over every inch of skin he can reach. Feenin to hear you moan over and over again...until your lips find his and your clawing at his v-neck for dear life. Yanking at the neckline until you hear it rip, lifting and tugging it until he finally takes the hint….
“Offff” 
“Come take what you want.” Pulling back to allow you to yank it over his head, exposing mounds of warm and toned honey-coated skin, covered in trails of articulately placed ink. A combination of new-aged back and white with hints of watercolor paint his skin, telling an array of stories that you know like the back of your hand at this point!
Tugging him back by the nape of his neck so his chest is flush to yours, the warmth radiating through the fabric of your dress, which didn’t cover much, to begin with. Rolling your hips up into his for slight friction until your moaning back against his tongue again, hands moving down to help you grind at a steady rhythm. The contrast of the rough material of his jeans, against your clit was really fucking you up right now.  
“Hoseok…”
“Baby” He countered in a way that had your curls trying to curl under the pad of your heels! 
“Fuck, Fuck me,” You whispered against his lips intentionally whiney, and he froze instantly, not that he didn’t want to because fuck he wanted to he just...Hoseok’s big on talking shit out. Not one for hiding or aiding emotions, and clearly there’s something wrong here!
“I really,need you right now”  You whisper again, nipping at his bottom lip and now it’s hopeless because this man knows he can’t deny you a damn thing. He hasn’t been able too since the two of you met in Paris, initially as strangers stood on a roof with your Colt Pistols aiming dead in each other’s faces.
You could feel the frustration growling from his throat but still, he kissed you deeper, harder, rocking you against the desk so your laying on your back. Rolling his hips against you slowly just to hear you moan against his tongue. ‘Hoseok!” Yeah, your whiny, and yeah your inpatient…
‘God, the shit you do to me…” Leaning in to steal your breath away with another deep brusing kiss.There was a hint of frustration and disbelief, lingering within that, and you can’t help but smile up at him, soothing your palms down the smooth planes of his chest. Nails idly outlining the array of cherry blossoms painting his skin, framing his collarbone perfectly. Not even trying to hide how much you loved knowing you had the same effect on him, which in laymen’s terms just means your both helplessly and endlessly whipped! 
Being in this deep, with someone within your world is dangerous, even more so when they’re actually in the field,  not hauled up in a castle, like some modern-day Repunzel. It can make you vulnerable, irrational, hypersensitive, but on the flip side, it can also turn you into the most lethal version of yourself where enemies are concerned. Your need to ensure no one stands in the way of whatever you deem your “Happy Ending” to be, becomes insatiable...you’d set cities ablaze for that man and he’d do the same..in a heartbeat! 
Considering that’s the first, and only smile he’s seen from you in days he can’t help but lean down again. Leaving one more lingering kiss against your lips sighing out in content at how laxed and pliant you feel under him, you already know he’s smiling, you can feel Hoseok's teeth against your lips. Tentatively he untangles himself, not before leaning down a good three or four more times to kiss you again. As if he's going far, hell as if your ass was going any damn where to begin with even if he was. 
Smoothing his hands up your thighs, hiking your dress around your waist in the process, hissing at the fact you opted against panties today. The minute he eased your legs apart not only could he smell how much you need him but he could see...the need dripping from your lips. Wiggling your hips a little, as your arched even further onto the oversized glass desk, shoving the mounds of files to the side, your heels gave you the perfect angle to completely spread out. Putting yourself on full display, the slight elevation on your lower half had your hips tipping slightly forward, giving him  access to everything he needed! Your gaze was far  too innocent for his liking as you batted your lashes in his direction. Easing your hands up your body.. taking a little detour to caress your breast in your hands before letting them get lost in your hair. 
An all-knowing smirk playing on your lips as you watch his eyes slowly unravel every inch of your body. If you didn’t know any better you’d think his mouth was watering, stealth fingers digging into your skin hard enough to leave a mark. Dropping to his knees..
“I don’t-”
“I know, I know”  Leaning forward until his lips were flush with your inner thigh, eyes trained on yours daring you to look away, jerking slightly when he bit you, then a low moan fell off your lips as he sucked on the spot. 
“You sound so fuckin good” Slurred against your skin, teeth sinking into your thigh even harder this time leaving a larger bite mark. Not pulling back until you squirmed from under him, his name husking off your tongue. 
What you meant earlier was you didn't want him to fully prep you tonight, you wanted the pain, the feeling of him stretching you open around his cock instead of his fingers. The delicious burn that almost makes you feel like your on the brink being split open! But I mean, fuck, look at you, he can’t just..not taste you, right? I mean no he HAS to taste you…
Resting his head against your inner thigh, thumbs kneading your skin while he started to kiss  his way around your bikini line. There seems to be no rush and at the moment you were just enjoying the warmth ghosting off his lips so you laid there content. Then, he leaned forward, placing his lips flush against your clit, leaving an array of solid lingering kisses all the way up your lips. And yeah they were somewhat chaste at this point,but you were feeling real needy  right now so even that had you squirming beneath him. 
“Hoseok” Sighed from your lips as you felt goosebumps spread through your body, gently massaging your nipples through your dress, somewhat teasing yourself instead of giving direct contact. Just allowing your touch to ghost over, until you’re arching into your own hand, pinching even tighter but still not giving your body the full sensation . 
“Y/n” Hoseok replied, calm as ever, a smirk playing on his lips as he watched you “God, your so damn sexy…” Slowly his tongue fell from his lips and landed right around your clit, sucking it into his mouth with a moan that shot through every cell in your body. He sucked, and slurped you between his lips so hard, and you damn near smothered him with your thighs on accident. Your body's first instinct was to pull away, there was so much pressure and stimulation being applied to literally the most sensitive region of your body. And it was steady, once he had you wrapped around your tongue that's where you stayed.
“Holy shit-babyyy” Eyes squeezing shut, trying to remember how to breathe!
 Your mind and body weren’t on the same page, thighs practically vibrating on either side of his head and the minute he felt your legs close in, he nipped the skin between his teeth.Forcing you to arch up and away instead of clamping down, a broken cry of his name falling off your tongue as you tried to desperly keep your legs apart. 
He knew you needed a distraction, leaning forward, grabbing your hand and burying it into your hair, making sure you had an almost painfully tight grip on his scalp! You were damn thankful because holding him like this gave you some sense of ground, instead of you feeling like your about to plummet through the glass.
Hoseok always touched you like he wanted too, like he was the one getting off which prompted your next question once the air resurfaced to your lungs. 
“Mmm, fuck your hard for me already aren’t you? Just tasting me get’s my baby hard doesn't it?” You knew the answer but damn if it didn’t feel good to hear him moan it out anyway.
Nipping at your thigh again, this time a little harder “You fuckin, known, what you do to me, I could come right now if I didnt need to feel you come all over my cock” You moaned so loud at that, gripping his scalp even tighter. “That’s it baby, keep me where you want me.” So you did just that. Pushing his head down so he had nowhere to go but your clit, however the smirk you could feel resting against your thigh should've warned you that he was about to rip you apart.
Hoseok circled his tongue around the very tip, meriscally, his strokes were deep and languid, and they ripped you apart. There's no other way to describe the way he’s volleying your pussy around his tongue, right now! The only comparison I can give you is he’s kissing your clit, and every crevice between your lips, as if he was thoroughly exploring every inch of your mouth . He was loud, and messy, in his pleasure where your concerned, the almost primal sound of his lips, and spit smacking against your folds. Low, needy moans vibrating against your skin as if you were the best damn thing he’d tasted all day. Pulling back to spit directly on your entrance, pursing his lips, and blowing , directing it to fall straight in and your body clenched hard. Fuck you needed, him to inside you…. nuzzling his face between your thighs until his nose was flush with your clit. He knew better than to work you open with his fingers so he opted for his tongue. Picking his own lubricate back up with the tip of his tongue and swirling it around the entrance. Moaning at the wall your body naturally started clenching around the muscle. You were a moaning mess beanthe him, hips rocking against his face.
You’re getting antsy now, wiggling your hips harder, you felt like you were close from this alone and that;s not what you wanted “Fuck Hoseok, baby just fuck me…”  Yanking his head until he pulled away, dragging his lips down to meet yours, chin glistening with all traces of you. The kiss was hard, messy,your essence was all you could taste against his tongue, moaning out as he rocked his hips into you. Leaning forward so he could reach into the Hermes gift box which was kinda decoration kinda used to store lube and other shit you really should have in an office! 
The minute he grabbed the bottle you ripped it from his hands, this was the least you could do,plus you just loved how heavy he felt in your palm. Hoseok almost growled as he deepened the kiss, more teeth and tongue than finesse,the kiss is hard, it feels like your both gasping for air the entire time but neither of you want to pull apart. Pulling at his belt with nothing but a whine until he gets the hint and smacks your hand out of the way, within seconds you feel him hit your stomach. Hot, hard, and heavy, and god if you didn't clench so damn hard, he’s literally twitching  on top of you right now.
“Do you even have the slightest idea how fucked up I am for you?  How hard I am and you havent even touched me yet?” 
“Mmm, I don’t know baby it’s been a minute since I’ve seen you...” Your whispers seductive yet taunting,kissing at his jaw and his neck, smiling against his skin at the low moans that spill from his lips. “Tell me..
Digging your heels into his back as you uncapped the bottle, taking an obscene amount in your hand before reaching between your bodies. Ripping a shaky moan from Hoseok's throat once you laced your fingers around his cock. Squeezing just enough to let all the acces lube drizzle down his shaft and land on his balls, he’s just throbbing in your palm right now and your not even moving yet. “Does it make you feel good to know you got me wrapped around your finger? Knowing- I’d- fuck-” Now, your moving,  hand working his shaft, flucuating the way you distribute pressure, loosser at the bottom and tighter twoards the head  becuse thats his sweet spot. Lube just running down your fingers, it’s so damn messy and you love it,he's straight up whining into your mouth right now. Breath fanning against your face as he nuzzles into your skin...lips parted.
“Knowing that you’d what baby?”  Tugging his bottom lip between your teeth, feeling the way his hips twitched above you , so you slow down your pace, and tighten your grip. Hoseok's brows are furrowed chest flushed…..he looks fucking beautiful.
“That I’d kill anyone in a heartbeat for you, that i’d never let a damn thing happen to you” He can't help but rock into your fist even harder, eyes struggling to stay focused but he refuses not to look at you.. “Does that get to you the same way it does me? Because I still get hard thinking about the way you went toe to toe with Jin’s father about me that night in Italy.” Trailing his tongue down the side of your jaw nibbling ever so slightly “That,was-fuck-the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.”
“God, I-...” Licking your way back into his mouth as you continued working him in your hand, moving your thumb over his tip, smearing the mounds of precum into the excessive lube .“Yeah, fuck yeah, it turns me on wayy more than it should. I shouldn't want you to be reckless when it comes to me but god if it's not sexy as all hell knowing you would be…” 
“And I would” he responds with zero Hesitation….
The sudden passion somewhat catches you off guard honestly, and the fire burning through his eyes as he said that is….stifling to say the least. 
“You’d go to war with me baby?” You didn't intend to shift the mood this heavy, yet you couldn't help the way it just vomited off your tongue. Maybe it’s your subconscious talking right now, still trying to fight it’s way through regardless of your current surroundings! 
Reaching up to cup your jaw, tilting your chin upwards, placing the most fragile kiss along your lips . “With you, for you, anyway you spin it the answer is yes...a hundred times over baby it’s yes…” The ache you currently felt coursing through your veins for this man right now...
“I need you in me. Now. I promise will go slow...please let me do this” 
Hoseok held your gaze for a moment before responding, searching your eyes for any hesitation “‘And you’ll tell me if it’s too much..” Grip firm around your waist, not even bothering to phrase it as a question because it wasn’t one...
‘Promise…” Placing the tip right at your entrance,and Hoseok can feel your heat trying to pull him in but he retreats. Giving you full control, keeping your eyes trained on his, well aware that’s what he needed to make sure, he could gauge our pain whether you wanted to admit it or not. Initially, nothing happened neither of you moved, just the faint suction of your very neglected pussy trying to suck him in.
 “I said I wanted you to fuck me...you know my body better than I do..make me take you…” 
‘I-” Yeah. Hoseok.Exe stopped working because he definitely wasn't expecting that, thinking you’d just rock yourself down, not that you wanted him to gauge your restience! Nails raking down his back as you roll your hips against him, making sure he can feel how warm and wet you are, how ready you are..positioning your lips to moan right against his ear.
“Fucking come’re” Hosoek leans forward smashing his lips against yours so hard it hurts, grabbing your legs, bracing them on either side of his shoulders. Sliding your hips forward until the backs of your thighs are flush with his chest, and your red bottoms are facing the ceiling. Gripping his length, teasing the head up and down your folds, as he left a trail of open wet mouthed kisses down your jaw,behind your ear, over to your neck. Ending with his lips nuzzled against your ear…returning the gesture “Missed you, touching you,” Exensuating each word with a kiss “The sound of your voice, waking up to you, being inside you...” Rocking his hips against yours deep, and hard.
You can’t even help but moan at just the mention of him being inside again after what feels like months “Want you, need you....” You’re in rare form tonight, yeah, your always a little submissive with him but not to this extent. 
“Your really tryin to break me today huh?” Tugging your lobe between his teeth before suctioning his lips around your jaw, at this angle Hoseok had the fronts of your thighs colliding with your chest. If he even considers  bringing you back this deep once he’s in you...it’s game over…”You ready?” 
“God yes” Soothing your hands up his stomach once he pulled back, skin hot to the touch and initially nothing happens, just the pressure of Hoseok's tip. Wiggling your hips playfully gives him a little incentive, so he starts to rock forward, and suddenly play times over! Your body freezes dead in its tracks...Hoseok's eyes stay trained on yours the entire time and your jaw clenches at the exact moment your pussy clamps down around his tip. As if you're trying to reroute the pressure elsewhere…A slight whine spills form your lips which lets him know there is still some pleasure laced within all of this.
‘Touch me, keep touching me baby….” Somehow Hoseok appears to be offensively calm regardless of the vice like grip you currently have around him! The request was more for you than him, knowing how much you needed his warmth right now! Clearly your not even close to being settled enough for him to come down flush level yet. So, this will have to do,taking your hands in his, guiding them down his body leisurely. Leading your fingers on a little field trip, sighing contently once you feel how warm and toned he is, how strongly his body reacts to your touch. The way every muscle twitches as you ghost over it, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. Subconsciously you found yourself leaning towards his touch, hissing out once you shifted a little too much for the moment.
“You still with me baby?” 
Nodding slowly as you try to focus, steading your breathing as much as possible, you wanted, no, needed to feel him like this! He can see the pain coursing through your body as the two of you still hold each other's gaze, which is the only thing keeping you grounded right now. Resting his head against your inner thigh, kissing along your skin once he feels his tip breach your quivering entrance. And it’s tight , fuck it’s tight, your body feels like it’s buring from the inside out once you swollow the swell of his head between your lips. Your jaw slacks open and nothing comes out, he’s not even sure if your breathing right now but what he does know is your eyes are still open and focused on Hoseok. 
“Goddamn” Hoseok groans deep and low head lulling back and finally he sounds just as fucked up as you,hand taking a bruisingly hard grip on your hips. He’s actually trying to shift back a little, so he can rock back in, but he can’t. You won’t let him go,“You gotta-shit, you gotta  let me breathe a little baby….fuck” He’s winded and using every once of self control he has to stay stationary, even though your applying a dangerous amout of pressure to the most sesentive regin of this mans shaft. The tip, that's all that's suctioned between your heat and your squeezing him like your trying to break him, and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.  
 So you try, fuck you try, exhaling then inhaling then exhaling again, attempting to get all your msucles to relax. Only problem is your not even clenching around Hoseok’s cock, you just have him trapped. Your just clamped tight, so tight it hurts, on both ends! He can feel your thighs shaking around him, pulling inwards as if your bodies trying to curl in on itself , and he knows this isn't going to work! He’s hissing hard too, nails digging into the swell of your ass, and thankfully once the two of you make eye contact yours are daggering into him with a silent plea. And he already knows what you want! The real issue is there’s way too much swirling around your head mentally for you to have full control over your senses right now. So, that's when you render him full control of any and every inch of your being to do as he pleases in order to give you what you need.
“Ho-Seok...fuck just-” 
 Reaching out for one of your hands so you can squeeze his as hard as you need, kissing along your knuckles.”Yeah?” 
“Yeah!” Tilting your head back with a beathy whine, squeezing his fingers even tighter….
 “You trust me?” Nodding without hesitation “I need you, to keep your eyes open, and focus, can you do that for me baby? ”  It’s a lot but Hoseok knows your limits and if it was truly too much he’d pull out, you can take it, all of it. Shifting your thighs so there now wrapped around his waist as opposed to above his head.  Pouring an obscene amount of lube on the remainder of his shaft, not even bothering to rub it in, just letting the excess drip onto the table. 
“And if you can’t get your colors out?” 
“Pinch you...I’m good, I know you got me...”A lazy smile tugging on your lips as you just try to stay calm.
“On the count of three, take a deep slow breath through your nose...and don't exhale until I tell you too” Hoseok cups your cheek and you nuzzle into it, kissing the tips of his fingers, you can feel them trembling though he’s trying to appear at ease.. 
“K” Yes wide, but focused, determined...a  little stubborn but hell you've already started right? 
Hoseok's eyes flutter shut briefly, taking in a deep slow breath of his own, making sure he’s in the right headspace to guide you through this. Once those big brown eyes of his creek open and your gazes meet again it’s heavy. Hosoek’s eyes are blown out, half lided, already glazed over, he just looks like sex...and he looks like hes about to break you in all the right ways! 
Adjusting his grip on your hip, steadying himself, thumbing at your side, “Count with me….1” God, the textures in this man's voice where unreal, he just sounds so damn smooth, the hushed command had so much control, and warmth wrapped up in all of 4 words.
He rocks forward, barely...just to see if you’ve loosened up and you still haven’t budged... Flicking his chin in your direction indicating he wanted you to continue…
“Two…” You’d be lying if you aid your heart wasn;t hammering in your ears as you let a deep breath start to fill your lungs.
“Three” Whispped through clenched teeth and he didn’t hesitate, rocking back just a little so he has better leverage tilting his hips upwards and he watches your eyes widen..thighs tense but he doesn't stop. Redirecting all of his weight into his abdomen, grinding down with a deep, heavy roll of the hips, you can feel every muscle in his back within this first thrust. Your fingers twitch in his hold, eyes glazing over relatively quickly, but your still looking at him, barely but you are. Even Hoseok’s breathing a little shaky, brows furrowed, but he's in, his tips fully past your entrance “Let it out baby….” 
And you do, whimpering hard, as a choked out breath hippicus through your chest, initially you were expecting him to pause. Give you a minute to adjust to the initial stretch…..Nope…
He doesn't stop, he's still rolling forward and now your gasping and whimpering all over again, even louder this time! Hoseok’s thumbs bruising the hell out of your hips but you don’t have him stop, you can’t! Your mind and body needs this right now, the tension the burn,all of it! 
“That’s it…” Even though his restricted breathing you can hear the fondness dripping off his tongue. “ Focus on me, I got you” The more he breaches his way through your heat the more the wind gets knocked out of your lungs but it’s good, it’s soo damn good! You manage to somewhat choke out his name and he just hums in response, biting down on his bottom lip in concentration. Untangling his hand from yours to brace both on either side of his head. Hoseoks pushing through steadily now,morphing his way through your heat that’s still trying to fight against him but he doesn't stop.No matter how hard you pulsing around him, Hoseok's shaft drags forward until his balls meet the swell of your asss. And finally he’s right on top of you, your bodies trembling beneath him so he gently lowers himself. Bringing his chest flush to yours letting your wrap your arms around his neck. Clawing your way down his back, intentionally releasing some of the tensions coursing through your veins. Licking his way back into your mouth, kissing deep, and messy until your light headed and desperate. Endless Moans richoching against one other, his palms soothing down your thighs. 
Everything pauses for a while, neither of you move, your both panting hard into each other's mouths while you adjust and Hoseok's not rushing you either. Wanting you to relax a little so he doesn't come after all of 2 strokes, idily  tracing patterns against your skin. Finally able to feel your breathing even out, muscles becoming more laxed beneath him!
“You ready for me baby?,”
All you can do is moan in response, still so overwhelmed, squeezing your legs around his waist as hard as you could so he at least knows your still with him. 
So he does, pulling out and pushing back in, and your eyes automatically roll back at the feeling. It’s still tight as fuck but he’s somehow managing to weave his way through. .
“Hurts?”  He can’t help but ask since your thighs are still shaking a little, and you nod honestly.
“Good pain? Good enough to make my pretty baby come?” More of a statement than a question, you can hear the smirk in his voice, as he kissed down your jaw. Trying to distract you a little,sucking a couple bruises along the front of your neck . Edging his way back and forth building up a steady tempo, and finally Hoseok can feel the shift. He’s able to breathe within you a little better, your letting him wade in a little deeper! 
You exhale shakily and nod again, feeling him shift off of you, repositioning your legs on either side of his shoulders.Leaning forward pressing all his weight into his arms until your thighs are flush to your chest. 
Your mouth opens and closes, kinda like a fish outta water, you do it a few times but not shit comes out.
“Baby…” Kissing up your inner thigh as he gently rocks forward , slowing down a little so you can feel the slow drag of his cock pull you apart. Back arching ever so lightly, moaning out low and wanton “Your so, sexy, doin so good for me” Nuzzling against your skin, nipping lightly at your inner thigh. 
“Your deep” The word barley leaves your tongue “Fuck, faster..”
“Yeah?”
Before you can even respond he snaps his hips forward and you almost scream, nails digging into his disciples as he stares down at you with a smirk that’s..real concerning considering the position he has you in. So he does it again, pulling his cock halfway out and rocking forward, 
“That’s it, that’s what my baby needed,” Hoseok whispers and thrust forward even harder this time, rocking up on the heels balls of his feet as if he’s aiming for your damn ribcage. 
Your mouth falls back open, looking like you wanna moan but you can;t every exhale gets cut off by another deep roll of the hips,repositioning himself so he braced with one arm. Running the other up your face, into your hair, before cradilling your jaw, thumbing at your bottom lip which you nip and suck into your mouth. Humming out contently, as you lick a stipe up his index and middle finger, not missing the way Hoseok’s cock twitches at the added stimulation. 
“Look at you…..” Eyes trailing down your body agnoniziling slow, taking in each and every detail as if it’s the very first times he's ever seen you like this. And still, you can’t help but shutter at the genuine astonishment burning through those lust filled eyes of his. Which eventually land on the site that his is cock dissappring between your wet and swollen pussy, lips just sprawled over his balls just the way he likes “ My baby's so good for me hmm?
“Always…” you whisper eyes rolling back,,completely glazed over, as his fingers fallback from your lips, every inch of your skin feels like it’s on fire right now.
Hoseok gets lost for a minute, watching the way your so pliant and trusting with him, eyes squeezed shut just letting yourself get consumed by all things Hoseok! Pulling back just enough to spit directly on your clit. The texture has your eyes flying open the instantly rolling shut once he brings his thumb down to work the bud at a swift steady pace. 
“Fuckkkk” Whimpering loudly in repsonse “Don’t stop, fuck harder..” And that he does, harder faster every thrust has his balls smacking against your ass. “Fuck, yes! Fuck, you feel so good…” 
“Yeah, yeah...your right there...come on baby…” He can feel you pulsing even harder against him. Not that you ever fully stopped but the tensions different now, more constricted…..he starts thrusting home hard! Spitting an even bigger wad on your clit, mixing it with the extra lube dripping down his balls as he continues ripping your nerves wide open. 
“Fuck, kiss me!” Whiney and bossy as per usual!
Smacking his hand away, exchanging it for your own so you can drag him down and take what you need, placing  your index and middle finger straight to the clit, which was rock hard. Applying as much pressure as possible, until the friction almost burns. Feeling your release dangling right in front of your face.
“Fuck, I’m gonna come...” You whisper out  all of a sudden slowly rocking your hips forward trying to meet his thrust though it’s  kinda hard in this position. 
“Yeah? You gonna come all over my cock? Then let me fill you up until I’m dripping down your thighs...” The kiss is messy more tonuge and teetht han skill, he can feel you, your right fucking there, thrusting into so hard it almost hurts.
Your eyes widen, brows furrowing to the center of your face, breath shuttering in your throat, mouth just parted against his, then your eyes squeezed shut. Fingers still working your clit, and your coming, silent at first until your crying out, voice shattinger , nails dragging from the nape of hoseok's neck down his back! He dosen’t stop fucking you, not even for a second, going just as, and fast as he was before, while you whitherbenathe him. The second he feels you try and pull your hand away he drops his hips even lower, restricting any movements. 
“Don’t fucking stop! Keep coming until I do, I'm right there,ride this out with me baby” He all about growls at you, and you don’t even dare to disobey, to be honest you don’t wanna stop. Body almost working on autopilot to chase the buzz running through your body, running towards it as much as your trying to run away…it’s too much but it’s soo good!
He’s thrusting into you as hard as he can but fuck if his biceps aren’t on fire and he just can’t finish the way he wants...the way he needs. So he pulls out, fast, barley giving you time to whine nevertheless realize what's going on and he slides over next to you. Lying back on the desk and grabbing you within seconds, sinking you back down onto his cock in one swift notion. Nails digging into your hips as he fucks you down onto him, hard, short thrust rip through your body, not making you do a damn thing but try and hang on for the ride! Your gasping hard, tossing your head back once you reconnect your hand with your clit. Attempting to roll your hips down and meet the pace he’s set but it's merciless… and he’s picking up speed quickly. 
“jesus-fuck-Ho-oseok!” Your nails are raking into this man's chest so hard you wouldn't be surprised if you broke skin but he’s groaning deep and that’s only egging you on! 
His honey coated complexion’s just dripin, brows furrowed, eyes barley ajar, Hoseok seems to be returning the favor. His thumb is about a second away from leaving a permanent indentation and it hurts but you need it. Not even a question as to if you guards can hear you or not your loud! Voice trashed, and very swipe of the hand has you jerking and twitching above him because your clits sentive as all fuck, but goodamn if he dosen’t look good, forhead sweaty  jaw slacked. 
“Y/n, Y/n, fuckk” He’s whining high and needy, heats rashing over his body, and you feel his balls tighen against your ass, and now he turly is right there. You can feel him twitching hard inside you.
“Come onnn baby, you know I fuckin want it, you know I wanna be fu-” There’s a choked out tear rolling down your cheek your bodies spazing so damn hard, it’s painful. Before you can even make sense of what’s happening your crying, and your clenching and coming all over again, your bodies completely spent. Toppling on top of him, instantly because...what the hell just happened?? 
 You clamp down tight around his cock unintentionally, body just luid, and spasming above him and you both moan and that’s when he comes, hard. Eyes open, and locked with yours, a low goan of your name falling from his lips as he spills into you. Hoseok’s shaking beneath you but he doesn't even try to pull out, reaching up to gently brush the tears off your cheek. Taking your hand in his, and sucking those same two fingers into his mouth, eyes locked with your as he does so, and your too damn spent to even react properly. Slowly he still continues thrusting into you, leaning up to press a couple soft kisses against your lisp, humming contently as you taste yourself.  Adjusting his grip so he has one hand, caressing the back of your neck and the other wrapped around your waist. Rubbing slow soothing circles down your spine, as he cards his fingers through your hair, your chest heaving together in unison as your bodies slowly come down. 
“Hi” The words hush off your tongue with a lazy, and utterly exhausted smile, eyes too heavy to open until you feel his teeth pressing against your lips. Letting you know he's smiling too and I mean, fuck, who are yuo to declien a front row seat to to watch the sunrise!
“Hi baby…”  Leaning up to press another linger kiss against your lips as his hips to a halt, just letting you simmer around him. Even the slight stimulation was enough to have both of you moaning out in overstimulation...
________________________________________________________________
The comedown was always slow between the two of you so it’s not a surprise that your bodies and tongues stayed tangled together long after Hoseok came. Eventually, the desk got a little uncomfortable, Hoseok's damn near stuck to it ,there's so much heat radiating off his skin.  So he wraps you in his arms and plops the two of you down on the couch. All the while , his cocks still bured between your lips, your dress is still flipped over your ass and his jeans and hanging low against his thighs! 
“How you feelin?”Pressing delicate kisses all over your face, hands rubbing your inner thighs because he knew they were burning by now.
“Tired” You pouted, mumbling slightly...
“Well, I guess I did my job then huh?” A faint smirk tugging on his lips, as he kissed down your jaw….
Once the two of you settled on the couch Hoseok waits a moment, opting to see if you’d want him to pull out though he should’ve known better, the two of you fall asleep like this more times than not! Gently stroking his fingers down your back in hopes it would coax you into talking without him having to pry it out of you!  The longer you lot sat in silence the faster your heart rate got, Hoseok could actually hear it echoing throughout the room. Leaning down to press a flurry of kisses into your scalp trying to ease you in anyway he could. Eventually, the T-rex in the room was starting to feel a little suffocating sooo...
“He’s just not...doing well, like…. at all…” Tone flat, as if you were trying to remove yourself from the situation at hand. Purposely nuzzling into the side of his neck, bussing yourself with the chains dawning his collarbones. The lack of eye contact wasn’t because you were embarrassed it’s because you just really didn’t wanna cry. You came wayyyy too hard your body can’t handle shit else! 
“I know-I know we’ve known this for a while…” There was this really thick lump hammering in your throat that really didn’t want to leave, the stability within your tone was swiftly heading south. Hoseok could hear it too, no matter how muffled you sound, suddenly more kisses were being pressed into your scalp.
“I guess, I was just fucking naive because he was doing soooo damn good earlier in the year ya know? ” Eyes fluttering up to meet his tentatively, your lashes fanning his skin gave that away, and he gazed down instantly. A dry chuckle leaving your throat, shaking your head as if your the butt of your own joke, but didn’t find it funny nor did he find it naive. 
Holding you even tighter, if that was possible…Those big brown eyes of his were soft and so damn fond of you it was actually ridiculous. If only your enemies could see you now, two of the most notoriously cutthroat people in the industry, throwing googly eyes back and forth! Looking like a couple in some cheesy Netflix romcom! Leaning down to press a lingering kiss on your lips, not pulling back until you released the breath that apparently only he knew you were holding. 
 ”Listen to me baby, there’s nothing naive about being hopeful, there’s also no handbook on how to handle your father dying. Even if you know it’s coming sooner than later..doesn't make any of this shit easier...”
“I know but...fuck…” Shifting slightly so your sitting more upright arm propped on the cushion behind his shoulder. “It’s just a lot, because I feel like I can’t fully do my job because if I do, I’ll miss something. Maybe I’ll miss...it, I mean Germany for fuck’s sake! That’s totally something I’d typically go on..instead, I forced y-”
Leaning down to press his lips against yours again, hoping you’d get the hint “In case you forgot..I volunteered, you never asked...you didn’t have too. And my job, for the record, is whatever you need it to be!” There was nothing but fire blazing into your eyes right now, he needed you to feel that, that he’s here for whatever you need..whenever you need it...however you need it! 
“I know, Seok-baby I know, and I appreciate that more than you’ll ever know” Reaching out to cup his jaw, melting at the way he instantly nuzzled into your palm before giving it a kiss. 
“However, I’m suppose to be in charge, I’m suposed to be in control, and I’m not.. I’m already falling apart and he’s not even gone yet…” That sentence alone had you feeling like you wanted to throw up! “I mean can you fuckin imagine how much of a wreck I’m gonna be?” Hoseok could hear how agitated you were getting so he opted to just stay quiet until he was sure you were done talking…
“Seok, I’m going to fall a fucking part-” You tried to turn your head before the tear rolled down your cheek but you failed, voice breaking off before you could even continue your thought. Hastily whipping your face as if you were mad at yourself for being so emotional right now. Nails daggering into his but he didn’t pull away, he let you be, he’s felt way worse. 
“This empire, his, empire is going to fall, apart, and any legacy my family ever had will  go up in flames! And who’s fucking fault will that be!? Huh? Not my brothers, Nothing’s ever his fault, how the hell does that work out!?” Your voice was hammering so hard in your chest it almost sounds as though your speaking straight into an industrial fan!
“ The one who fucked up everything gets to just ease by like nothing ever happened! Cause lord knows he’s too too damn much of a junkie to even tie his fuckin shoes nevertheless run the family business! It’s not that I didn't want this, I just don’t think I’m ready...nobody asked me if I was ready, my own fuckin brother never even offered to help like-I-fuck!” 
And now your crying again, great, great…..your first instinct was to get up, get away, move, break more shit I don’t know! Just anything, but sitting in this man’s lap, those assassin reflexes though, Hoseok caught your thigh before you could completely ease off the couch. Shifting your weight again, helping you pull out, you were far too gone to even react to the slight sting you should’ve felt. Slamming you back down so your hips were flush against his pelvic bone, holding you so your body hovered over him. You knew the position was so he could look straight through your damn soul but you couldn’t handle that right now….eyes fluttering down to your lap instead. 
“Y/n” No, he needed you to look at him, gently reaching down to cup your tear-stained face, eyes, and nose rivaling a blowfish!  
“And I say again…you don't have to do this alone anymore. I’m here for you, for you my baby, in any, and every way you need. You wanna regroup and brainstorm as to how I can help more let’s do it, if you need me on the field more let’s fuckin do it! Whatever you need to make this easier just tell me .” His pause was intentional holding your gaze, making sure you felt that. Allowing you to search his eyes for any hints of uncertainty that he already knew you’d never find. 
“And if you fall apart guess what!? I’ll be there to help put you back together time, and time again...and this empire will be fine. Stop, stop thinking everyone’s gonna leave you, you’ve been acting as your father’s second in command since you were 19! More importantly, you’ve been running shit with very little delegation for well over a year and if anything this operation flourished. Give yourself more credit, everyone here thinks highly of you, and not because they have too...it’s because your someone worth being admired. Regardless of how dirty our work may be, you and I both know there’s still a way to run this with some heir of dignity! “ 
Reaching up to grab you by the nape of your neck, bringing your forehead down to rest against his own...hoping it would ground you a little “You got this baby..and you got me...I’d burn down the world for you in a second if need be and you know it! Imma get you through this...I promise!”
You let your eyes flutter shut briefly, trying to calm down, you could feel him pressing light kisses against your tear stained cheeks and you couldn't help but smile. Yeah, it was small, definitely did not reach your eyes but it was something...
“I know we aren’t the most honorable people, and he won’t get some fuckin gold plaque like the Mayor when he dies but my dad was a very honorable man for the work he did. And I’ve always tried to do the same, I just..fuck I just want him to be proud of me….I mean at least that.”  Your face hurts you were trying so hard not to cry anymore, a shaky breath ghosting off your lips. 
“He’s already never gonna see me, grow old or walk down the aisle or-.fuck..”  Shit…Hoseok look’s utterlly terried as to where this is going....
“Fuck, he’s never gonna see me walk down the aisle one day” Eyes wide, panicked I guess this was the first time you’d had that thought...the first time you’re really thinking about all the things you’d have to do without him. You've always promised yourself that regardless of how crazy your world is...eventually once you're settled you’d stop denying your heart of its desires! 
Having someone to endlessly love and share this empire with is something you’ve always wanted...and something your father always told you, you deserved and would have one day! 
“Hes nev- holy shit what if I have ki-oh my god.” Every word felt as though it was strangling you, as it hiccups from your chest “ Oh. My. God ” Now this was a lot, this was pain strong enough to split you in half, all the thoughts you’d been avioding suddenly rushed to the surface! 
Your full blown sobbing into the side of his neck … and Hosoek’s heart hurts , fuck it hurts. slouching down into the couch, engulfing your body into his arms which only made you cry even harder. Ya know what makes it even worse? Is that there isn’t a damn thing he can do about this kinda pain. There’s no one he can shoot or stab to make it go away and it’s fucking gut-wrenching, as your body breaks apart above him . 
“Shhh,your okay baby, it’ll be okay….” Even Hoseok didn’t believe that, he didn’t have the slightest idea as to how he was going to get you through losing the first man you ever loved! But fuck if he wasn’t going to try! 
“Listen to me, stop, don’t do that to yourself” Gripping the sides of your face tight enough in his palms to force you ro focus on him and only him. “Let’s get you home alright? Will talk about work and all the other bullshit later you just need-”
“Y/n! Y/n!” 
Who the actual hell...
The sound of someone squawking your name like they’d lost their damn minds had both of you rerouting your attention. Completely shattering the moment causing your body to tense on command. Your brains been wired for so many years to just cut off emotions at the blink of an eye it almost happens on autopilot now! Zoning in on the chaos that appears to be unfolding outside your door and within seconds your pain becomes old news! Which is….just great for your mental health but carry on! 
You could hear your guards all standing outside the door trying to calm whoever this person is with a very clear death wish down. However, they didn’t seem to falter.
“Y/n, open the damn door now! This is serious you can’t just shut me out like this!!” 
But wait, wait, wait, random’s don’t just get acess into the compound so there’s only so many options…
Then, you start to recognize the tenor...and so does Hoseok, and he’s fucking livid. You could literally feel every muscle in his body tense from beneath you. Reaching down to snatch you off his lap, and tucking  himself back into his pants so damn fast you almost got whiplash. If he wasn’t soft before he definitely was now! 
“You’ve gotta be shitting me!” Striding over to your desk to grab your Glock34 from the drawer. 
“I fuckin told him not to come here today...” Growled through gritted teeth, as he reloaded your gun, spinning the barrel. 
Shit.
”Yn! YN! We need to talk about what’s going on with dad!” The slow-motion drawl said it all, he’s high as hell and it’s your fucking brother…
“Ohhh, he wants to talk about your father?!” Tone loud and Exaggeratedly cheerful as they leave his lips sing song esque “Of fucking course he does!” 
“Hoseok-” Yeah, this wasn’t ending well, swiftly readjusting your dress back around your thighs. Though your thighs felt like a damn slinky you still ran over to barricade yourself in front of the door! The door that your brother was still banging on like a fucking idiot!
“Jason. Leave!!!” Praying the distress resonated through the pans of marble, your just now realizing how gone your voice truly is, honestly you don’t even know if he heard you. But for his sake, you hope it did, because it Hoseok gets through this door...
“Nooo,Jason stay!” 
“Hoseok…” Bracing your hand firm against his chest, pushing him away from the door. The warning laced within your tone was clear as all hell, no matter how brittel it was .
“Nah, he wants to talk, let’s fuckin talk! He’s the last thing you need to be worrying about right now, considering he only gives a fuck about you when he’s tapped out of his monthly allowance! What? All of a sudden he cares so deeply about your father?” Brow arched knowingly “ Let him even fix his mouth to say the word “Will” and I will buss a cap so far up his asshole, he’ll cough out all the coke he’s been sniffin’!”
“Y/n, I can have him escorted-”
“One second Spade!” That mans been around since you were in middle school. You know the sound of his voice anywhere, yeah even muffled through a marble wall.
“Comere” Tone dropping to a purr, that you knew wans’t fair but fuck it, no matter how angry he’s on you in seconds, like I said...he can’t deny you anything. 
Leaning forward to wrap your arms around his waist and you can feel how tense his body is initially...yet he still instinctively lets his hands find their home right on the swell of your ass. The edge of the glock resting against your waist…..
 “Baby, I know your angry, and I know that’s mostly because of me, hell I was just chewing him out a second ago. But at the end of the day he is my brother and that is our dad...that’s damn near on a fuckin resperator. I know how to keep him at arms length... I don’t have the mental capacity for this right now. But, I’m gonna open that door, and see what the hell he wants, and I need you, for me...to just chill. If he gets outta line I’ll have him escorted out.”  He physically growled at that, Hoseok would much rather handle this on his own.
Leaning up to card your fingers through his hair, acting as if you didn't even notice his little tantrum “I really need you by my side tonight, and I need you to stay calm,because I’m far from it. Let’s hear him out and if he steps out of lines he’s out.” 
Wrapping his hand around the one you have laced within his hair “You already know I can’t say no to you!” He’s pissed about it too, long gone are the days when he could just do what he pleased regardless of who it affected. 
“But I swear to go Y/n, if and when he steps outta line-fuck-you just better make sure,  your boys are ready to throw his ass out ...because if I do it...he’s gonna end up in the ER for more than just wirthdrawls!”
`__________________________________________________
THAT’S ALLL SHE WROTE FOR NOW…KINDA I ALSO WROTE HALF OF PART TWO, SO IF YOU ENJOYED SHOW THIS SOME LOVE AND COME TALK TO ME! My GENERAL RULE OF THUMB IS AS LONG AS SOMETHING GETS AT LEATS 100 LIKES I’LL CONSIDERING ADDING TO IT DOWN THE LINE!
ALSO,  A LITTLE BONUS BECAUSE I DID MAP OUT THE FIRST 4 CHAPTERS BACK WHEN I WROTE THIS...
_________________________________________________________
It’s clear the OC’s brother will probably/definitely be an issue, in more ways then one! As well as her father is obviously going to die, like, within the first couple of chapters.
Her family’s association is called “Grim” and she’s commonly known as “The princess of the Grim clan”. 
There is a 2nd member set to be introduced in part 2 that will eventually work for the OC...hint it’s a makane! He tries to robe one of their local establishments and well...clearly that probably won’t end too well…
Jin is a mob associate...his family's Forbes ranked multi-million dollar empire was founded with blood money! Sooo, he’s a mutual between “Grim” and “The King Tapian’s”.
3 of the other members are in another association overseas called “The King Tapian’s”. A name she’s heard of, as they have one hell of a rep but they’ve never “officially” crossed paths. That is, until another death within the mob world which brings a new territory on the market! One that her fathers been eying for years over in Europe! (Another hint, they kinda join forces and eventually agree to co-inhabit the area in efforts to shove another “shysterier” gang out, which in turn starts a little war if you will!) The other members would be a sub-focus however It was undecided as to how big of a part they’d all play!
 Lastly, the final member is a freelance hacker/hitman that knows Hoseok very well, so much so the pair used to fool around back in the day so yes that would make him BI! 
I was also undecided if I wanted to incorporate another member sexually or not...as I’d dabbled with the idea of them being in an open relationship! There was also the possibility of making the “King Tapian” Boys lowkey poly! Either solely male on male or maybe throw in the idea of a minor female character who i’d name so there’s no confusion! 
The overall gist of the story was essentially the OC finding her footing after her father dies. Making her own path as one of the only women in charge on the black market! While also creating some allies and gaining of course some enemies along the way! Regardless this would also be a Hoseok centered series with the possibility of semi regular OT7 guest appearances!
  Love you as always,
Rocki,
174 notes · View notes
kbstories · 3 years
Text
impression//expression
“It’s not like Kirishima had come all this way to U.A. to immediately break the promise he made to himself upon arrival.
It’s just that Bakugou is as feral as they come, and the moment Kirishima recognizes it’s fear he felt crawling up his spine that day, he makes it his personal mission to face it head-on until it’s gone.”
(Or: Being friends with Bakugou Katsuki is anything but a linear experience. Kirishima Eijirou would have it no other way.)
Tags: Kirishima POV, Developing Friendships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Provisional License Exam & Aftermath, The Boys Are Fighting And Everything Hurts
Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Additional content warning for bad communication, emotional breakdowns and general anxiousness. Chapter 9.
***
“Oi. Kiri.”
Another heap of sugar goes into Kirishima’s mug. He stirs a bit, then licks caramel-sweet goodness off the spoon. Perfect. With a content hum, he leans further into the embrace of his favorite armchair.
“Mmyeah?”
Across from him, Bakugou sips his own coffee. Looking all kinds of cozy from his perch by the window, shoes off, U.A.’s uniform narrowed down to just the shirt and pants. Only Iida and Momo have made it down to the common room yet, yawning their way through breakfast with last-minute notes spread out over the kitchen counter.
Their quiet conversation is mere background noise for them. It’s a familiar enough routine that neither duo exchanged more than acknowledging nods before settling into their preferred corners.
Bakugou toes the wood of the windowsill with socked feet, hands calm around his mug. His gaze idles on a group of sparrows outside.
“By this time tomorrow, we’ll be heroes.” Soft-spoken, the words nonetheless sound as solid as ever.
“Provisional ones”, Kirishima reminds him, a mix of excitement and nerves making his leg bounce, the carpet underneath ruffling with the motion. There’s still an exam to pass between then and now. “But still. Licensed and everything.”
“Mh”, Bakugou breathes into his coffee. He sends Kirishima a wry look over its rim. “Nervous?”
Thinking on it for a moment, Kirishima smiles. “Nah, not really. We worked our asses off for it. Like, we totally got this.”
Bakugou’s smirk comes swift and it stays: a dare for the world to do its worst, a promise to come out on top despite it all. Kirishima offers him his fist and Bakugou meets him in the middle, used to the gesture by now. Sparks crackle over rock-hewn skin.
“Damn right we do.”
*
The names flicker on the screen and Kirishima searches.
K, K, Ki, Kiri– There! Kirishima Eijirou.
“Hell yes”, he cheers, the doubts clinging to his heart dropping all the way to his feet. The second he’s got his phone back, he’ll scream-yell a voice message to his moms – finally, finally, Red Riot will exist out there. In reality, not just his wildest dreams.
Automatically, Kirishima jumps to the beginning of the list.
B, Ba, Baku–
Next to him, Bakugou sucks in a breath. That, more than anything, brings his head crashing from the clouds and straight to the ground, to the spot on that list where Bakugou’s name should be but isn’t. Kirishima frowns, his eyes scanning the row starting with B one more time.
“Dude, what…?” No Bakugou Katsuki. “No way.”
One glimpse, that’s all he gets. One glance at Bakugou’s face and that expression Kirishima recognizes from the longest night of his life, that déjà vu of devastation and loss a sucker punch nailing Kirishima right in the gut–
Before he can reach out, it’s gone. Bakugou grits his teeth and juts his chin up, and any trace of it is replaced by anger. Cold, lethal, seeping into squared shoulders and brows drawn deep enough to cast his gaze in shadows.
“Katsu–”
A harsh tch interrupts him, followed by a softer “Congrats, Riot” mumbled in Kirishima’s direction. Bakugou won’t meet his eyes, though, and when Kirishima’s fingers brush Bakugou’s, he crosses his arms instead.
“Thanks”, Kirishima mumbles back, all thoughts of celebrating dead and gone. He doesn’t try to reach out again.
*
1-A spills into the common room as one, smiles and laughter all around. The air previously heavy with anticipation now carries only relief, that clean petrichor taste that follows a downpour at the height of summer.
Despite the stone weight of worry in his stomach, Kirishima laughs along with them. He leans into the lanky arm Sero drapes across his shoulders and returns the fist bump Jirou offers him before Kaminari tackle-hugs the three of them towards the couches.
“Smash tournament! Now!”
“It is our last night off before the new term”, Jirou supplies with a shrug. A thoughtful look is cast towards Bakugou, turning sly as it meets Kaminari’s. “Though, may I propose: Rock Band?”
“Ohhh”, coos Sero, joined by an enthusiastic nod by Kaminari. “Whoo yeah! U.A.’s best fake guitarist, reporting for duty!”
Kirishima loves his friends, he really does. If there’s one thing Bakugou has consistently enjoyed during their hangouts, it’s violently crushing them via the e-drum set he brought from home. That thing shows some serious signs of wear, too, the silicone cover warped or even torn in places.
(The high score list features his name like five times before their resident runner-up – Shouji, surprisingly – even makes an appearance, additional limb advantage and all.)
“I’m in. Wanna duo, Jack?” Jirou gives Kirishima a thumbs-up from where she’s already setting up the microphones. He turns around. “Nitro, you–?”
Bakugou isn’t next to him anymore. Before Kirishima can ask, he hears Mina call out, “Blasty, where are you going?”, and follows the question to Bakugou’s turned back clearly headed for the elevators.
“Room”, Bakugou answers, clipped, rough. The glare he throws over his shoulder might as well be lines of caution tape fluttering in the wind, storm sirens howling in the distance. Keep out. “Have fun playing your shitty game.”
Kirishima sees the hurricane about to hit a second before Mina makes a grab for Bakugou’s wrist, determination shining in black-rimmed eyes. “It’s Rock Band”, she tells him, meeting the snarl on Bakugou’s face with stubborn compassion. “You love Rock Band.”
“What do you know, hah?” Bakugou snaps, tugging away. “Fucking– Get off me!”
Mina’s grip tightens, Bakugou’s hand is raised – familiar, so familiar, that glint of rage in blood-red pupils – and Kirishima is on his feet, pulling Mina behind himself to shield her from an explosion that never comes.
It’s a close call, though. Kirishima feels the heat coming off Bakugou’s palm, the wince he tries to hide when he clenches it to a fist instead.
“This isn’t your fight, Shark Teeth. Back off.”
“Bakugou.”
Firm, resolute. Kirishima’s voice is like volcanic glass: smooth on the surface, jagged around the edges. There’s a warning in there, too, his jaw clenched just as tightly as Bakugou’s. “Not cool, man. Mina’s just trying to help.”
Bakugou huffs at the mere notion of that. “Well, Mina can fuck right off. I don’t need shit from any of you.”
The truth is: Bakugou is different with Kirishima, he’s always been. Even now Kirishima can see him shift his weight, change gears in his mind, the door so firmly shut for others left ajar for him.
Bakugou only listens because it’s Kirishima speaking and he hates it, sometimes. Like his word counts above everyone else’s when it doesn’t, it shouldn’t.
“Look, I get why you’re pissed off but it’s not our fault, either. Alright? There’s no point in acting like this, dude.”
Bakugou’s eyes narrow, that sliver of a chance snuffed out of existence. A vicious sneer takes its place. “Acting like what? Like myself? Give me a break.”
“Guys”, Mina cuts in, sounding meek, uncomfortable. Bakugou doesn’t get to do that, not when he’s proven he’s better than that, time and time again – not when he’s careful with his quirk, when he’s stopped hiding that genuine smile that’s getting less and less rare, when he helps and soothes and pretends not to care and cares so fucking much.
Around them most of the class shuffles along, hovering on the sidelines. Kirishima can feel the looks, the hushed whispers ready to burst into existence, the fidgety sort of concern radiating from Midoriya in waves.
He ignores them all, looking Bakugou dead in the eye when he says: “No, Katsuki, like an asshole. It’s not like you at all.”
Behind him, Mina whispers, “Stop, Kiri, it’s okay.” From the couches come hisses of surprise, a murmured “Woah, dude” that sounds like Kaminari. It doesn’t matter.
What matters is that it hurts. It hurts to see Bakugou flinching like he’s been physically struck. To see emotion spill through the cracks in his armor, cracks Kirishima put there. But Bakugou listens when it’s him, and if there’s one thing he needs to hear, it’s this.
“Like, I get it. I know how it feels, you of all people know that. And extra lessons suck ass, believe me.” Kirishima takes a deep breath, letting go of his anger on the exhale until there’s only resolve, that strength he’s fostered and made his own with Bakugou at his side.
“But lashing out at people won’t fix anything. The stuff holding you back – it’s all you, man, that’s what you gotta work on. You’re the manliest person I know, so you’ll definitely get there, and then you’ll keep going until you’re Number One. There’s not a single doubt in my mind that’s how it’s gonna go. But it’s up to you to make sure it does.”
Bakugou is staring at him, pale-faced and still. He opens his mouth. “You done?”, he asks, his voice ground into something raw, something tired.
“Yeah”, Kirishima tells him, gentle again. “Yeah, I think I am.”
A nod. Bakugou glances past him, for a moment, at the ball of tension behind Kirishima that is Mina. Another nod, more hesitant.
“Blasty, I–”
Without another word, Bakugou leaves, shouldering past Midoriya on his way out. Kirishima watches him go and wonders if doing the right thing always feels so much like regret.
*
I fucked up.
Bundled up in his covers, Kirishima sits on his bed and stares at the wall. The cheerful colors and big exclamation points on his posters are little more than a blur, made obscure by the dark of night settling in around him.
The light switch is just across the room yet impossibly far away. Kirishima’s phone buzzes; the screen comes alive with a notification. It goes ignored.
I fucked up.
Kirishima’s gaze falls to the license in his hands, bland-looking next to the busy camo pattern of his favorite blanket. Red Riot, it says in bold letters under his name, date of birth and affiliation to U.A. – issued today, with the picture they took before they changed into their hero costumes. Himself, grinning with too much teeth, his hair freshly dyed and spiked to the heavens, his uniform done up meticulously.
It feels like a year ago that Bakugou rolled his eyes and fixed his collar, muttering something about ‘looking okay for once’. In turn, Kirishima had nudged and prodded him until he put on his tie, which lasted not one second beyond the flash of the camera.
But–
You done?
The card is small, unassuming, really. Kirishima blinks. One tear, then two pearl over flawless plastic. Three, four, head bowed as they drip, drip, drip down the tip of his nose.
Today wasn’t supposed to go like this. They were supposed to get their licenses, take the night off, sing and laugh and headbang to their audience of pixelated metalheads and forget the world for a while.
It was supposed to be about them, about the dream they shared over coffee this morning. About the future they’re reaching for, together.
Kirishima wants to toss the license to places unknown, wants to tell himself that it means nothing but it does. He waited for this moment longer than he cares to trace back, a long time, definitely. All that hard work, the sweat and blood he shed for it – perhaps it’s only right he adds tears to the mix.
Gods, I fucked up so bad.
He sniffs wetly, sets the card aside. There’s a spot for it in his wallet, he made sure of that as they stepped off the bus. Still, he needs to keep it in sight, like object permanence stops being a thing where one’s hero status is concerned.
Again, buzz buzz, his phone rattles quietly against wood. With a shuddering breath, Kirishima reaches for it, reads Simply Mina and 🦊 Eevee Squad 🦊 and swipes right until his home screen is just Riot’s canine smile again. All it does is remind him of an afternoon spent out in the yard, of a snoring dog and gentle touches to soft fur.
Two taps, and he’s back where he started: Staring at fond, red eyes in the corner and the unanswered messages underneath. Kirishima’s lips start to tremble.
Best Bakubro 💣💥
hey (sent 18:12)
can we talk? (sent 18:12)
i’m sorry (sent 18:30)
i’m so fucking sorry baku idk what i was thinking (sent 18:31)
just. please (sent 18:35)
idk what to do (sent 18:35)
katsuki? (sent 19:01)
The last three are still unread. Kirishima had just calmed himself down from the panicked jolt of blue ticks and grey ticks and Bakugou’s gone when a door had slammed shut hard enough to rattle Kirishima’s desk.
Kirishima wanted to go out there. He wanted to catch up to Bakugou and explain himself and make things right; instead he’d stayed right where he was and listened to his distinct stomp growing more and more faint like the coward he is.
There’s been nothing but silence ever since.
“Stop”, Kirishima whispers, a strangled, pathetic noise amidst the tears sliding down his cheeks. “Just s-stop. Fucking stop.” Tilting his head back, he knocks it against the wall, hoping against all hope that he’ll stop crying, that this shivering, miserable thing in his chest will relent and let him breathe for a bit.
Instead, he clenches his eyes shut and lets out a choked sob. It’s followed by another, another, until Kirishima presses his face into the blanket and gives in.
Hands fisting in loose hair, he curls in on himself, head tucked against his knees and desperately gasping for air. The walls are thick but not that thick – Shouji can probably hear him, if he’s even in, and Kirishima silently begs him to stay away. To be allowed to break in private like he’s done a thousand times before, after every moment he spent frozen in place, every time he didn’t act fast enough or act at all.
Were you scared?
He hadn’t been. For once in his life, Kirishima hadn’t been afraid – he’d been angry, furious even, hopeful and disappointed and worried and he’d fucked up because of it. That moment Bakugou shut up and just… took whatever Kirishima had to say is burned into his brain, aching and tender to the touch. Kirishima can’t stop putting his finger on it, though, like revisiting it will make it sting less, somehow.
It doesn’t.
Time is a fickle concept. Kirishima is aware it passes, he’s aware his blanket is soaked, that his back hurts and his heart hurts and his head, too. He’s back to blankly looking at his wall and seeing nothing, only interrupted by an occasional sniffle, when–
The snap of a lock turning, a door opening and closing, much quieter than before.
A glance to his clock tells him it’s an hour to midnight and way past curfew. The worry he felt earlier rekindles, glows bright enough to overshadow any other emotion swirling within him. It’s not like Bakugou to be up this late. It’s not like him to break rules like this.
It’s not like you at all.
Roughly, Kirishima rubs his arm over his face. Enough crying. Enough hiding away. Bakugou deserves better than public callouts and texts sent in a panic. Kirishima promised himself he’d be better – it’s worth next to nothing if he can’t keep it.
That fact doesn’t prevent his heart from beating half-way up his throat by the time he slips out his door and stands in front of Bakugou’s. His hand shakes as it’s raised to knock; Kirishima wills it to steady and raps his knuckles against wood, mindful of the late hour.
“Bakugou?”
Nothing.
“Listen, I…” Kirishima breathes through the squirming of guilt in his gut. “I messed up, man. I know you’re in there and if you’d rather not see me, that’s fine. But I know I hurt you a-and I want to apologize if… if you’ll let me.”
Wringing his hands, he blinks heavily and wills himself not to tear up again. Bakugou has every right to shut him out; it’s up to Kirishima to do what he should’ve done in the first place and respect his wishes.
It’s a reality he doesn’t have to face, however – the knob turns and the door cracks open the slightest bit. When it doesn’t move beyond that, Kirishima pushes for it to open further, sticking his head through the gap.
“Nitro?”
Silhouetted by his bedside lamp, Bakugou is tossing up his covers to properly burrow inside them. “Get your ass in here already”, he says over his shoulder, a bite to his tone Kirishima recognizes from their early days. “And close the door. It’s fucking late.”
He practically jumps to the task. “Okay, yeah, sorry!” Once the door clicks shut, Kirishima shuffles his feet, wanting to get closer but unsure if he’s allowed. Carefully, he makes his way over and stops, half a step in the circle of light cast around Bakugou’s bed.
“So. Um…” His hand brushes red strands behind his ear. His palms are sweaty. “I–”
“Did you mean it?”
Bakugou doesn’t even sound angry; Kirishima would definitely deserve it if he was. He’s unsure if that no-bullshit edge is any better, though, swallowing heavily. “Yeah. Well, kinda. The– the words were right but…” He clenches his hands to fists, brings his gaze up to look at him.
Kirishima’s eyes widen. The rest of that sentence flees from his mind entirely.
“What…?”
Scrapes, bruises, gauze stuck to both cheeks, bandages wrapped around both arms. Back to the wall, legs loosely crossed in front of him, Bakugou looks like he went a round or five with a superpowered bobcat, dried blood clinging to some of the many scratches on his skin.
Yet his eyes are focused, pinning Kirishima with the same precision with which he handles everything in life. “But?”
“Bakugou! What happened?!”
“Picked a fight.” A sharp sniff. Bakugou shrugs like he couldn’t care less. “‘s none of your business. Answer my question.”
Ouch. Kirishima doesn’t linger on that, he can’t, too busy mentally cataloguing the damage and trying not to drag Bakugou to the infirmary ASAP. Which–
“We gotta– Recovery Girl. She’ll heal you right up.”
Bakugou huffs a laugh, no humor in it whatsoever. “Already went. It’s done. Answer the fucking question, Kirishima.”
It’s incredibly hard to unstick his mind from whatever the hell happened there. Like a wrestling match with his own thoughts, struggling to get them on the wrong set of tracks despite his brain frantically gesturing towards Bakugou.
Kirishima rubs his palms over his face, pats his cheeks none-too-gently for good measure. Focus.
“Right. Yes, I meant what I said. It’s– Mina isn’t me, Baku. She can’t take your anger like I can, okay? They… they were just trying to cheer you up and you were out of line. But–”
Bakugou’s gaze isn’t letting him go, intense like they’re mid-battle and he’s trying to figure out Kirishima’s next move. Guard all the way up. Kirishima drops his hands, wide open.
“Your day was already crappy enough without me putting you on the spot like that. You said you wanted to go and I forced you to stay and deal with even more stuff because I was angry and worried and… Yeah. I went about it all wrong and I’m sorry.”
Those damn tears are lurking at the corners of his eyes, itching and burning but Kirishima fights them off. He nods to the ground.
“I really let you down. That’s all I wanted to say.”
Kirishima waits. For a moment that feels eternal, he stands there with his head bowed and his fingers clinging to the edge of his shirt. He fully expects to be met with silence until he gets the memo and leaves.
Then Bakugou sighs.
“You look like hell, y’know that? Your eyes are all puffy and shit.”
Wincing, Kirishima nods again. “I know.” He peeks up through the gaps in his hair.
Bakugou huffs, exasperated and so much more like himself. “Don’t give me that. I’m still pissed at you.”
There. A chance. All it takes is a leap of faith. “But?”, Kirishima asks quietly.
“But nothing, fucker. I’m pissed, full stop.” A glower that would make a quirked-up Aizawa proud. Bakugou crosses his arms; Kirishima ducks his head. “You’re lucky you’re you or I’d have kicked your ass straight to whichever place stupid potato dogs like you go to when they die.”
Don’t laugh. Kirishima bites his lip. Half a second later, a pillow smacks his shoulder with impressive force.
“Shut up. I got it, okay? I know I’m”, a pause filled with teeth grinding audibly, “difficult, I guess. And an asshole. I know all that.”
The urge to laugh is replaced by a shot of vertigo, like Kirishima missed a step down a flight of stairs. Their eyes meet, and Bakugou glares.
“It’s what you said. Don’t you dare take it back now.”
“But that’s not what I mea–”
“Tough shit, bitch, ‘cause that’s what I got from it. It’s fine, okay? If someone’s gonna call me out on my bullshit it’s gotta be you. It’s just–”
Bakugou drops his hands in his lap, staring at the bandages running up to his elbows. There are blisters on his right palm, visible even in the half-dark.
“Not in front of everyone?”, Kirishima offers in a small voice.
A tense breath. “Yeah. Makes me wanna blow up and lose my shit for real.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You already said that. I told you it’s fucking fine.”
“But–”
“Eijirou.”
Kirishima’s heart squeezes. Bakugou looks so exhausted and it’s all his fault. Still, he mumbles, “Okay”, and he wordlessly swears on everything he holds dear that he’ll listen, next time. That he’ll trust Bakugou to do the right thing and stay in control.
“Okay.” Bakugou’s eyes are on him again, less heavy now. “I don’t wanna talk about the fight, either.”
Kirishima’s hands clench, not tight enough to rip into the fabric but close enough. “At all or…?”
“Not sure yet. Definitely not tonight.”
“Okay”, Kirishima repeats. It’s not forever. He can handle anything if it’s not forever. “Um. Are we cool? I get it if… not. I can leave, too. Whatever you want.”
Unexpectedly, Bakugou groans, almost… amused? “Screw you. I should be milking the fuck outta this but… Yeah, we’re cool.”
Oh. Kirishima can’t help the way his resolve wobbles with how relieved he is, keeping his shaky inhale as stealthy as possible. He fucked up and his best friend doesn’t hate him. They’re gonna be okay.
“Kiri…”
There’s a strange expression on Bakugou’s face, pinched and frustrated-looking. His eyes are soft, though. Concerned. “Stop crying, you big baby. C’mere. And bring my pillow, I actually need it.”
Kirishima keeps it casual. He grabs the pillow and pads over instead of running. He tosses it in Bakugou's lap, earning a grumbled, “Thanks.”
Almost casual. There’s an attempt, at least, chucked right out the window the second Bakugou sort-of-maybe-kind-of indicates the possibility of a hug. Then he’s throwing himself on the bed, the sight of raw skin and gauze-white turning his tackle into a marginally gentler embrace of Bakugou’s shoulders.
Bakugou squeezes back, brutally tight. “Hold back on me again and I’m kicking you out.”
A wheeze of breath turns into hushed laughter. “I’ll do better.” Kirishima tucks his face against Bakugou’s neck and sniffles. “I’ll be good, Nitro, I swear.”
Bakugou knocks their heads together, too gentle to even register as that. His lips against Kirishima’s temple, he mumbles, “You already are, idiot. One dumb mistake won’t change that.”
>>Chapter 9.
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backtobackbakubabe · 4 years
Text
I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home
Bakugo X Reader 
Runaway reader finds a home with Bakugo. But will trouble follow?
Warnings * This one is a little heavier than stuff I have written in the past. Kidnapping and mentions of abuse. 
Words: 3676
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This was the third night in a row he had woken up in a cold sweat. This had been happening periodically for months but it had been happening more frequently lately. It was the same dream over and over again. It would always start as a normal dream but before he knew it, there was a girl maybe a year or two younger than he was. She was always dressed in the same shitty dress. Her hair wild and tangled. But  nothing was more haunting than her eyes. They were so sad and scared. She was always reaching out to him, her lips moving but no noise coming out. He desperately wanted to know what she was saying, but he never got the chance. He’d always wake up panting and angry. 
It didn't matter what time it was he always got up after that and went for a run. There was no going back to sleep after that. Those eyes were burned into his brain. Every time he closed his eyes he could see that scared look, and it crushed him. 
He didn't even know this girl. At least he didn’t think he did. He read somewhere that your brain can’t invent new people so all the people in your dreams where people you had seen before. 
Was she someone he had saved in the past. No he would have remembered her, he could tell she was pretty even if she was underfed and covered in dirt. Was she someone he saw in a movie or on TV? That had to be it. The only problem was he had been so busy with hero work he hadn't had the time to relax and watch anything in months. He was in his first year as a Pro Hero and he was working relentlessly to make sure everyone knew his name. 
He poured himself a cup of coffee and took a look at the clock. 4 am. Fuck he had only been asleep for a little over two hours. He rubbed his temples. He had to report to work in six hours. Maybe he should just go in early. If he’s going to be awake he might as well get paid for it. 
He sluggishly got dressed and drained the rest of his coffee. Thank god today was supposed to be a short day anyways. He didn't know if he could make it through another 24 hour shift. 
The ding of the elevator sounded louder than usual, and in his exhausted grumpy state he took it very personally. As if the elevator knew he was tired and wanted to taunt him. 
He walked over to his desk and threw his bag that held his costume onto it before slumping into his chair. 
“Wow. dont take this wrong way. But you kind of look like shit.” He looked over to the cheery as hell red head that he usually would consider his best friend, “How the hell am I not supposed to take that the wrong way?”
Kirishima rubbed the back of his neck, “I mean you just look tired is all. Speaking of which shouldn't you be asleep right now? Your shift doesn't start until 10. I know you’re punctual and all but four hours early seems a bit extreme.” 
He leaned back in his chair attempting to rub the exhaustion from his eyes, “I’m fine. I have paperwork to catch up on before my shift starts anyways.” 
Kirishima gave him a concerned look, “You hate paperwork man. What’s really going on?”
He debated for a few seconds if he should say anything, but then decided it might help to actually to talk about it with someone. “I’ve been having these weird dreams... Theres always this girl-”
“A girl! ooooh is she pretty?” 
He gave the red head an annoyed look. 
“Oh right not important. Continue. Sorry.”
He rolled his eyes, “Yes she is pretty. Anyways. She keeps popping into my dreams. It looks like she needs help but I can never hear her. She’s dirty and way too skinny and I dont know.. Its just messing with my head.” 
Kirishima seemed to ponder on that for a bit, “Do you recognize the girl? Like is she someone you know?” 
Bakugo sighed, “No, at least I dont think I do.” 
Kirishima nodded, “What is she doing in these dreams?” 
“I dont know. I guess she’s reaching out to me. At least that’s what it looks like.” 
Kirishima brought his hand up tp his chin as if he was Sherlock Holmes solving a case, “Why dont you take her hand then? If she’s reaching out to you, it must mean she wants you to right?” 
Bakugo threw his hands up in defeat, “I dont fucking know! Even if I wanted to it’s not like I have complete control over my dreams. I’m asleep for fucks sake.” 
Kirishima rolled his eyes, “Alright grumpy gills. I think you need a nap. And this time if any girls happen to stroll through your dreams at least try to hold their hand and see where that gets you. Alright? I’ll handle your paperwork and come wake you up when it’s time for your shift.” 
He wanted to argue but even after 3 cups of coffee he was utterly exhausted. He couldn't work like this. Kirishima was right. He needed a nap. 
He curled up on one of the couches in the break room and fell asleep almost instantly. His dreams started out normal enough. Nothing odd in any way and then out of no where. There she was. Reaching out to him. Her eyes terrified, a silent scream on her lips. 
He was supposed to do something. What was it? Oh yeah. He slowly reached his hand out to hers. It seemed to go so slowly as if he was moving through molasses. His muscles hurt from the effort of forcing his arm up to meet hers. 
Finally his fingers brushed against hers... and he heard it. 
Her voice rang out loud and clear. “Help me Ground Zero! Please!” 
He gripped her hand tighter, “Who are you? What do you want?” 
The girl started to cry, “No time for that now. They’re onto me! Where are you?”
Bakugo flinched, “I’m at work at All Mights new agency.” 
She nodded her head in understanding and for the first time ever she left before he woke up.
Next thing he knew he was being shook awake, “Come on man time to get up! Tell your dream girl you’ll call her back later.” 
He shot straight up, “I did it...”
“That’s great..... what did you do?” 
Bakugo stood up his body coursing with adrenaline, “I touched her hand... and I heard her! She asked me for help and asked me where I was.” 
Kirishima looked at him like he had lost it, “Alright crazy pants enough of that. You know its a dream right? As in it’s not real. This is real, we are real, and you’re really about to be late if you dont hurry up and get changed.” 
Bakugo spent the rest of his shift on high alert. He looked around every corner to see if you were there. You were real. He doesn't now how, but he knows that to be true. He knew he couldn't say that out loud without sounding like a escaped mental patient but his heart kept telling him you needed him. 
Your voice played on an endless loop through his head. It drowned out everything else including Kirishima's annoying consistent ramble. 
The day flew by faster than usual which Bakugo was extremely grateful for. He was practically running out the door with Kirishima yelling after him about meeting up for drinks later. Yeah that wasn’t happening. 
He had taken all of three steps out of the building when he was being tackled. Well tackled wasnt exactly the right word, because that would imply that he fell, which he did not. Instead he lost his balance for a second before turning to see the source. 
It was her. It was you. 
“Shit shit shit. You’re real. I knew it! What are you doing here? Who are you?” 
You looked up at him with desperate eyes, “Get me out of here. They’re after me! I promise I’ll tell you everything just please get me somewhere safe.” 
He looked around to see if anyone was watching, but no one was around. He grabbed your hand and started walking towards his apartment, “I only live a few bocks from here. Think you can make it that far?” 
You nodded. If only he knew how far you had already come to find him. 
Soon enough you were being dragged through the door to his apartment. He lead you to the kitchen table and immediately began to pace back and forth in front of you. He suddenly stopped and looked at you, his eyes boring into yours. “Alright are you going to tell me who the fuck you are and what the fuck is going on?” 
You flinched a bit at his angry voice but quickly reminded yourself that he was good, he wouldnt hurt you. You composed yourself the best you could under the circumstances, “My name is Y/n. I was kidnapped as a child by a group of villains. They have been using my quirk to their advantage for years. I finally managed to get out and come find you.” 
He pulled a chair up so he could sit and face you, “Okay but why me? Out of all the people in the world why me? How were you in my head?” 
You looked down into your lap where your fingers were gripping the hem of your dirty dress, “My quirk allows me to enter people dreams. I'm a dream walker. But it cant be just anyone. I have to have seen their face and I have to know their name. I was a child when they took me. I didn't know any better. I thought they were my family. It wasnt until I got older that I realized how wrong what they were doing was. They would have me enter peoples dreams to get them to confess things, gain information, plant ideas... One day I fought back and tried to reach out for help. The only problem was I didn't know anyone... everyone I knew was a villain. All the people that I had visited in dreams before wouldn't listen to me. And why should they. I betrayed them. I entered their dreams, and stole their private information. Even if they wanted to help, I had no idea where I was... there was no way for them to find me.” 
He reached out and took your hand in his, “I’m so sorry that happened to you.... but you still haven't answered my question... why me?” 
He may be a bit insensitive but he still had no idea who you were and he didn't want to run the risk of this being some weird twisted trap. 
You wiped a tear from your dirt stained cheeks. “One night I snuck out of my room t- to try and get something to eat.... and the news was on, on the tv in the kitchen. It was an interview with you. I saw your face and I heard the name Ground Zero.  That’s all I got before I was being dragged back to my room and was pumped full of so many drugs so I couldnt use my quirk.” 
You were shaking now, “I dont know why and I cant explain it. But I felt a weird connection with you. Every day I repeated your name over and over again through my drugged state so I wouldn't forget it. I kept telling myself you were going to save me. Finally I was able to push through the drugged haze to reach out to you. To walk into your dream.”
Bakugo’s head was spinning, “Is that why I couldnt hear you? Because you were drugged?” 
You shook your head, “No, I have to have permission to truly be in someones head, you had to touch me, to acknowledge me before I can talk to you.” 
He took a deep breath, “Well I’m sorry I didn't do it sooner.... So how did you get here.” 
You started messing with the hem or your dress again, “They decided to move me to a different location. Said I was being too difficult and needed to be taught a lesson. I jumped out of the back of a moving van. I didn't know where I was going but I found my way to the city and asked the first person I saw for directions.” 
Bakugo was leaning towards you now, completely invested in the story, “Why didn't you go to the police?”
You sighed, “I dont know who to trust. They have moles everywhere. I cant risk showing up on a police report. They’d find me.” 
He nodded for a few moments thinking it over. “Ok.... well... I have a spare bedroom you are more than welcome to use. It looks like you need some food and it smells like you need a shower. The bathroom is down the hall, do you like spicy food?”
Your eyes widened, “Does that mean you’ll let me stay?”
He huffed, “Well I’m not going to fucking kick you out to rough it on the streets! Now do you like spicy food or not?” 
You shrugged as you tried to hold back the relieved tears that threatened to spill out, “I dont know. I’ve never had spicy food. I was only ever fed white rice. Sometimes if I did a good job they would add chicken.” 
He gave you a sad look, “Alright so I’ll go easy with the seasoning. Take your time, relax and I’ll get you some clean clothes.” 
You nodded as you walked carefully over to the bathroom he had pointed out earlier. You were almost too scared to touch anything. You didn't want to do anything that would make him change his mind. 
The shower felt so good. You couldnt remember the last time you had, had a shower. It had to have been during what you called your cooperative phase. They were so nice to you then. Before you realized they were all monsters. You had a nice soft bed, your own bathroom, and so many books to read. When you fought back everything had changed. 
You could see all the mud and dried blood swirling around before it went down the drain. You decided then and there that this was goodbye to your old life. If you could even call it a life. It was all going down the drain as well and you were never going back.
When you finally stepped out of the shower there was a warm looking hoodie as well a a pair of shorts and boxers sitting on the bathroom counter. The hoodie hung down to your knees and you had never felt so warm and fuzzy. You didn't know it was possible for an article of clothing to feel... safe. 
You walked out into the hallway and could hear hushed voices, you panicked. Had they already found you? 
“Dude I heard the shower running and you’re cooking... you definitely have a girl over! Who is it?”
“Will you shut up! She’ll hear you!”
“You DO have a girl over!” 
“Will you just fucking leave already? I promise I’ll tell you about it later. Tell the director I won't be able to make it work for the next few days. I’m uh.. sick.” 
“Sick huh?”
“Yeah I’m sick... sick of your shit, now leave!” 
You couldnt help it you giggled. It sounded so weird but it was undeniably a giggle. You felt a weight start to slowly lift from your shoulders. 
You waited until you heard the door shut before leaving the safety of the hallway and joining Ground Zero at the diner table. Your mouth started to water and you stomach rumbled, it all looked so good. You looked over to him, unsure if it would be rude to just dig in. 
He froze with a spoon midway to his mouth, “What? Are you waiting for permission or something? Fuck that just eat.” 
Your eyes lit up as you started to drain your bowl or soup first, immediately followed by mountain of noodles. It all tasted so good, “Thank you so much Ground Zero. This is delicious. You are an amazing cook.” 
You could see him blush a bit before shoving another bite into his mouth numbing a quick, “It’s Bakugo.”
You both sat in an awkward silence, eating until you were both fat and happy. When you finally decided you were done you leaned back into you seat. “That had to be the best meal I’ve ever had.”
Bakugo stood up and started collecting the dishes, “Dont take this the wrong way but it’s not like your pallet was all that expanded before.” He could see hurt flash over your features briefly before you schooled them back to neutral. He tried to salvage this conversation, “But dont worry I’ll try to stay away from cooking rice. I have a feeling you've had enough of that.”
You smiled as you stood up to help, “Here you cooked, the least I could do is clean up.” 
He took the plate that was in your hand, “Maybe next time... You’ve had a shower, you’ve been fed, now you just need to get a good nights sleep.” He gestured over to the hallway. “The bedroom at the end of the hall is mine. The one thats closest to us right now it the guest bedroom and the they're connected by the bathroom. I’ve been told I snore so I will apologize in advance for that. Go ahead and make yourself at home. There’s a tv and everything.” When you didn't move he gave you a light hearted nudge in the direction of the bedroom. “Honestly dont worry about it. I got it from here. Go get some sleep.” 
You weren't used to someone taking care of you and it made you feel suspicious. This was too good to be true. But you were also too tired to dwell too much. For the first time in a long time you were clean, full, and you actually have a bed to sleep in. Besides Ground Zero was a hero. Theres no way he’d do something to hurt you.... right? 
You tip toed over to your new room and marveled at how comfortable the bed looked. You pulled your pants off, opting for just the hoodie and boxers. Burrowing into the covers with your pile of comfy pillows beneath you, you practically hummed in comfort. You rolled over and saw Bakugo through the bathroom. He was also getting ready for bed in the dim light of his bedside lamp. He gave you a soft smile before closing his door. 
You weren't necessarily a fan of closed doors. You cant lock a door that isn't closed after all. But you felt safe none the less. You knew he was just in the other room. So you found yourself drifting off. 
You were back in your old room. Nothing but a bucket and a stained pillow so thin it may as well have just been a pillow case. You could smell the contents of the bucket in the corner and it made you want to puke. It was freezing but all you had for warmth was the thin tattered dress you wore. Your body hurt from how hard you were shivering. The pain in your stomach the worst of all. They hadn't fed you in a few days. Saying only good girls deserve food. You huddled further into yourself as you heard the deadbolt to what may as well have been your cell click. Someone was coming in. What do they want? The big guy walked in. The one with the crooked nose. “Time to take your medicine.” You thrashed around and tried to resist but he just held you down, laughing that sickly laugh that would haunt you forever. 
“NO!” 
You shot up in bed. Your face was soaked with tears. You felt a strong grip on you shoulder. You swung into the darkness and felt your fist connect with something solid. 
“Oi! relax its just me. You were having a nightmare. Thought I’d come wake you up.” 
You rubbed your eyes, “I’m so sorry I didn't mean to wake you.” 
He turned on the lamp on your nightstand, “It’s okay, it’s not like I have to work tomorrow anyways....” He was lost. He wanted to comfort you but he didn't want to crowd you. He also just met you today and shouldn't have such a strong urge to wrap his arms around you. But he does and he doesn't know how he feels about it. “So... do you want to talk about it?”
You shook your head, “I’d rather not. I just want to forget all about it...”
Bakugo nodded, “Thats fair... well if you need anything I’ll be right through there.” He pointed through the doors to his room. 
You bit your lip as you mustered up your courage, “Do you think you could... I mean you totally dont have to... but if its okay with you... could you... possibly stay with me until I fall asleep?” 
He quirked an eyebrow at you, “Uh... sure. I guess. That’s fine.”
You quickly snuggled back into your side of the bed and he got comfortable on his. He took a look at your sleeping face and felt his heart start to ache. You hadn't needed to tell him about your nightmare because you had already shown it to him. You had subconsciously pulled him into your dream and he had a front row seat to the horrors of your past. He reached out and brushed a stray hair away from your sleeping face. He’ll be damed if anyone tried to hurt you again. 
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imagine-that-r6s · 4 years
Text
50/50 [Thermite (Jordan Trace) x Reader]
(Hi! A little A/N before the story! I know the Rainbow fan population here is short, but I do take requests! I will post the prompt list I took for this one. I will write for any operator! I will do all and any request, for the prompt list, please put the genre (Misc, angst, fluff) as a letter (M,A,F) and the number)
Doc and Maverick anons: I’ll have your requests posted within the next couple of days, sorry for the wait!
Pairing: Thermite x Reader
Warnings: Swearing, minor talk about death 
Genre/Word Count: Fluff (mild angst near the end)/1.3k
You had joined Team Rainbow about 3 years ago. You were a smart, and a natural born leader. You were also a practical joker, playing small, harmless pranks on each and every operator. Even the stern Taina had a laughing fit over your pranks. So you’d think the other childish person of Team Rainbow would get along with you right? Nope. WRONG. Jordan disliked you. But you never understood why. You thought you had started on good terms with the Texan.
Whenever he was assigned to the same practice groups, he would be the one to call you into the wrong hallway, leading to your early elimination and negative report. You were starting to get pissed off. Last week was the fourth time in a row he had done it, you were getting sick of his behavior. This week, you wouldn’t listen to him.
You chose to start off in a different segment of the training map. You stuck with Erik, the quieter one of the hard breachers. The two of you worked closely, eliminating the other practice team rather quickly. It had boiled down to a 2v1. Sadly, your companion had sprung a trap, forcing him to move to the spectators group. It was now down to you and Thermite. You groaned when he shot you a smug smile. 
“Looks like it’s just me and you, let’s hope I get the final kill.” 
“No. Also, I think in a second it’ll just be me left.”
He narrowed his eyes as you both kept moving, “What do you me-” His eyes widened as he spotted the trap he had triggered, signalling the last enemy of your positions. Without practically any effort, you aimed and perfectly shot the ball of paint at their head, ending your practice with a victory. Jordan looked up at you with angry eyes. You smirked and quickly bounded down the stairs to the open area. You ignored the angry call of your name as you regrouped with Maverick. You made small talk with him as you left the practice room.
At meal time, you sat next to Maverick. Surprisingly, you two got along very well, he had never laughed so hard with anyone else. And you had never had anyone stick around as long as he did while you endlessly told shitty puns and dad jokes. You ate while Erik told of a story from his childhood, but had paused to lean down to your ear, “I think someone’s a little jealous.”
He shifted his eyes toward Jordan's direction. Jordan was seated with Emmanuelle and Yumiko. He was glaring at the two of you, but mostly at the taller man seated to your left. “Him? No, he hates me. Hated me since day 1.” “What about you then, I swear sometimes I see you staring at him in wonder.”
Blood rushed to your face as you stuttered to defend yourself, “Yeah, wondering how he’s such a dumbass!” In all honesty, you did have a small crush on Jordan. He was very cute, and the rivalry had caused intrigue. But you didn’t think anything could happen between the both of you.
 At the other table, Jordan watched as Erik had leaned down, brushing his hand to move your hair back so you could hear him better. Yumiko watched as his hands tightened significantly around his fork, “Jordan, what’s wrong?”
“Hmm? Oh no it’s just… those two have been getting awfully close lately.”
“Does our little Jordan have a crush?” 
Emmanuelle chuckled at the thought, teasingly pinching the grown man’s cheek. He slapped her hand away, “I do NOT have a crush on that gremlin!” 
“Oh yeah, sure, yeah no, of course not.” She winked at Yumiko, which fueled Jordan’s statement of denial. For a while he was distracted, until he heard a loud laughter protruding from your table. Erik had caused you to laugh, making water come out from your nose, causing Erik to snort, which made you laugh even harder. 
Without another word, he slammed his fist onto the table and got up, chucking the uneaten food in the garbage before leaving. He let the heavy door hit the wall. The laughter from you and Erik ceased, “See? He’s jealous.” 
You shook your head and finished your meal. As you walked back to your room, the thought lingered on your mind, ‘Does Jordan like me too?’ You sat in bed, thinking over things
 “Why do I like him if he hates me?” 
For the rest of the day, you just slept. By the time you opened your eyes it was pitch black outside, and the clock next to you read 11:43 PM. You certainly weren’t going to sleep for the rest of the night.  
You changed into more comfortable clothes and headed out, spotting the room you searched for. You questioned your own thought process, but at the same time, it seemed perfect. Prank Jordan so he hates you even more so in turn you learn to dislike him too. But as you stood outside his room, you were hesitant. 
You took a deep breath and stepped in. His light snores let you know he was sleeping soundly. You tiptoed around, holding your breath as you grabbed the slim object. A practically fatal mistake. A beefy, bandaged hand held on tightly to your wrist. With a sheepish smile, you tilted your head to the right, “Oh hey buddy… I was just… making sure your alarm works!”
You tugged your arm back, but Jordan seemed to panic as the screen turned on, faced away from you. He sat up, yanking your wrist with one hand as he grabbed his phone with the other, “What the hell were you trying to do?”
“Uhh… find and send an embarrassing picture or screenshot on your phone to the group chat.”
“Fuck off.”
You huffed and stuck out your hand, “You’re right Jordan, I am very irresponsible and my pranks are childish. I swear I won’t try this stuff on you again. I know I should’ve respected your privacy, and shouldn’t have woken you up, because sleep is very important.”
He looked at you in disbelief, but too tired to care, he shook your hand. “I’m glad we have an understan-”
You moved down, gripping on his forearm and yanked him down as you threw your legs over and around his neck, making him fall forward. You snatched the phone back as you sat comfortably on his bed, while he desperately tried to pull your legs away from his throat.
“Like that move? Taina showed me how to do it!” You said cheerfully, looking down as you turned on the phone. What you saw made you pause, and release your tight grip on the poor hard-breacher. 
“Am… Am I your lockscreen?”
“You weren’t supposed to see that.” He rubbed at his throat while you examined the picture. It was you. It was the end of your first mission 3 years ago. After a victory, you had all gone out to eat. In the photo, you had several sauces covering your chin and lips, a sneaky picture. You looked like a 4 year old as you looked around the table in shock, being around so many people you looked up too. Including him. 
“Jordan… why do you hate me?” 
“I don’t. I just didn’t want to get close.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t want to risk losing you. You know what happens to people like us in these fields. Every mission is a 50/50 chance of living to see the next day.”
You helped Jordan up from the floor, “I like you too Jordan. And maybe if we went on more missions together, we could protect one another…”
He smiled down at you. “Yeah, I think that’ll work.” 
You tossed the phone on the bedside table. He laid down and dragged you with him by curling his arms around your waist. That night, you slept comfortably. In the morning, you still sent that embarrassing screenshot to the chat.
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futurewriter2000 · 3 years
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hey babe, how is your day? anything you want to rant of get off your chest? love you!
I feel like you just know when I’m having a bad day. 
I hate this family so much, man. I just wanna scream so much when I’m here. Just scream and scream and scream and scream until I lose my voice and the breath in my lungs. It’s so suffocating and it’s funny how I prefer my work then this fucked up apartment. It’s just like 2018 all over again. I hated being in school but it was better than being at home. It’s just the same. I hate going to work but it’s so much better being there than being here because at work, it’s not as miserable and I feel like if I tell anybody how I feel inside that they’ll just say something like “Why are you always complaining?” or like “Some people have it worse.” or something, which is totally not a thing to say when somebody is trying to open up to you. But I feel like if I don’t say this to anybody, I will explode and everything that will come out will be screams. 
I can’t tell my friends. I just can’t because then it feels like I’m telling somebody a thing that they don’t care about. They don’t. They’ll just think I’m being whiny and complain and shit like that. Like last time I was telling someone about my moon sign and his moon sign and he was like “What did it say about your moon sign?” and I couldn’t really explain it to him because if I told him how deep that went, how much I related to everything that video had to say about my moon sign... and my rising sign- that I’m mysterious and that I can’t deal with certain things and how I can deal with other things and shit like that- it was just something about what I discovered about myself and it wasn’t something I wanted to share and because I didn’t want to share that with him, he attacked me for telling him and then being mysterious about it. I’m not being mysterious about it but why would he want to know about how I feel and how I think and know how fucked up I really am and then just attack me for not telling him. 
So that felt shitty. Me telling him my love for astrology and then being shut down like John Cena had just slammed me on the floor. 
And he’s not even the problem. I’m just sensitive to that topic but like at home... God.... I slept all day because I was exhausted from a whole week of night shifts, so I slept through most of the Saturday and then went to a friends house to drink. And we had so much fun and I came back at like 4 am in the morning and my sister started to attack me the next day, like where was I all night, what was I doing, why I sleep so long, how she has to do everything and I started to defend myself because man I just worked 5 night shifts in a row and I deserved a fucking night off that was fun and relaxed and just a breath of fresh air and then she ruins the whole fucking thing by suffocating me in this corner and constantly trying to pull every bit of information out. Yes, I was at her place, I sleep so long because I’m tired, she’s home and I’m at work and that is why she CAN do something around the house. She works a 3 times a week, I work 5-6 times a week. Her work is sitting and selling lottery tickets for 5 hours, my work means standing for 8 hours and having to do a lot of physical work. And then she constantly critisises everything I do, and so does dad like LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!! LET ME FUCKING BE! 
And it’s the tiniest littles things. Like my dad constantly checks if I have my radiator on. I spent most of my winter, freezing my ass off because of him. Then he doesn’t want to fix the goddamn pipe and so it always has to be turned to the left so that the hot water doesn’t run out and that he doesn’t have to pay a big bill. No man, just fix the fucking pipe. Like I swear to God there is so much to say and a lot of people who read this will be like “Be thankful for what you have.”
LIKE NO YOU DO NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH THIS FUCKING FAMILY! LIKE IT’S JUST! MENTALLY AND PHYISICALLY DRAINING!!!!! YOU DO NOT KNOW THE WHOLE STORY AND I HATE IT WHEN I OPEN UP ABOUT THIS TOPIC AND PEOPLE SHUT ME DOWN BY SAYING “Well you could have had worse.” LIKE UGH IT BOIILS MY FUCKING BLOOD... and that is why I don’t talk about certain things until I feel like I want to explode into dust and travel to the fucking universe and never reicarnate into this earth, ever.
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starspatter · 4 years
Text
Heroes and Thieves, Ch. 14
Title: Heroes and Thieves Fandom/Universe: BTAS, pre/post-RotJ flashback
Summary: A story about second chances, healing, and having hope.
Rating: PG-13, for references to character death, child psychological torture and trauma.
Genre: Romance/Family/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort
Word Count: 2,526 Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13
Also on ff.net and AO3.
Lies, lies, lying little beast Lying little man on the corner of the street Singing "Why, I can't come out to play Can't come out and say that I'm afraid of what they'll say"
-Run River North, "Lying Beast"
————————–
Then.
Stephanie walked purposefully down the dormitory hallway towards her destination, which she had learned of through Cass after the other had shockingly announced she was now… “involved” with someone and asked point-blank for her advice.  Steph had been surprised (not to mention maybe a tad jealous) that she had been granted visitation rights before her – especially when she herself wasn’t even sure if she had reached an official “dating” stage yet with her suitor- er, tutor (although they had undergone several “study sessions” together by this point) – but nevertheless was happy for her roommate.  …Besides, her profile’s “single” status would hopefully change today.
Checking her hair and outfit, she nervously fixed and fidgeted a little in front of the doorway, before taking a deep breath and knocking on the entry.  After a moment, it slowly creaked open a crack to reveal a rather confused-looking Tim.
“Steph?  What are you doing here?”
“Hey!  I just came to ask you something quick, if you’re not too busy.”  She beamed her best and brightest.
Tim’s eyes darted anxiously aside as he swallowed.
“Uh, now’s not really a great time…”
“Who’s that, Tim?  A friend of yours?”
Stephanie blinked as a stunningly beautiful woman unexpectedly emerged from behind Tim, ravishing red locks and coquettish lips smiling cordially.
“Ah, you must be Stephanie! Tim’s told me a lot about you.”
Steph’s gaze shifted suspiciously to Tim, who looked like his world had just come crashing down around him.
“…Has he now?”
The stranger grinned widely as she extended her slender palm, revealing twin rows of perfect pearl teeth.
“I’m Barbara Gordon. Pleasure to meet you.”
Tentatively, Steph took it.
“...Nice to meet you. Wait, ‘Gordon’ – as in the new Police Commissioner?”
The woman nodded.
“Bingo, you’re looking at her.”  Her voice abruptly took on an authoritative tone.  “I’m here on official police business, conducting a top-secret investigation.  You wouldn’t happen to have seen any suspicious individuals around, would you?”
“Babs,” Tim cut in sharply as Steph started to sweat and panic.  “That’s enough.  Quit frightening her.”  (Although rather than relieve her apprehension, it only increased further at such informal address.)
…On a first-name basis?
“Kidding, kidding. I’m giving a guest lecture on Criminology over in the West Wing.  Speaking of which,” Barbara glanced at her wristwatch, “I should probably get going. Class starts in 10 minutes.  I just came by to say ‘hi’ to Tim.”
She began to gather up her things, bustling out the exit with a wink to Tim on the way, who only winced and shrank further in response.
“I’ll leave you two kids alone.  Take care, Tim.  I’ll stop by again some other time.”
Steph watched her figure’s wake until it was gone, silently envying sophisticated style and… mature body shape as it sashayed away.
“She’s awfully pretty,” she mused aloud, suddenly feeling even more self-conscious.  “What exactly is your relationship with her?”
Don’t tell me he’s actually into older women.  There’s no way I can compete with that.
Tim rolled his eyes with a sigh.
“It’s not what you think. She’s like an older sister.”
“…Seriously?”
How strangely ‘convenient’ all his supposed ‘relatives’ seem to be gorgeous supermodels.
“Trust me, there’s nothing like that between us.”
She gauged his earnest expression, before accepting assurance.
“All right, I believe you.” Her smile returned as she relaxed. “In that case…”
She fished around in her pocket, pulling out two tickets she won at the Theta-Kapa-Gamma Harvest Festival last week.
“Ta da~!  Tickets to see the monster movie marathon at the old Monarch Theater on Saturday!  You are free, aren’t you?”
Tim blinked as she practically shoved the tiny pieces of perforated paper in his face, fanning gleefully in invitation.  Temptation.
“I am, but…”
He gulped, hesitating as he seemed to desperately search for an excuse.
“I’m… not really a fan of old films…”
He mumbled lamely, appearing extremely uneasy for some reason.
Oh crap.  Don’t tell me I screwed up again.
Steph’s confidence sank in disappointment, recalling how she had once enthusiastically tried to engage Tim in a spontaneous water pistol fight going on in the campus courtyard (despite the season being somewhat ill-suited for the sport), having snuck up on him whilst the victim was reading unawares underneath the shade of a nearby tree, hitting him with a lighthearted squirt.  He had sat there, stunned, as he stared at the childish toy weapon in her hand, before wiping his soaked cheek with the back of his sleeve.  Slamming his book shut, he stated with such startlingly quiet, intense anger it took her aback:
“I don’t like guns.”
…Before standing up and stalking off in silence.
Still, she had hoped this would make up for it, that it could be something they’d both enjoy, spend some real quality time doing together (besides studying anyway, which she was starting to get sick and tired of as tests approached).  Who didn’t care for a good old-fashioned camp scare around Halloween?  …Maybe he just needed to give it a chance.
“Hey, don’t knock it ‘till you’ve tried it.  Have you ever even seen Dracula or Frankenstein?”
He shook his head.
“Whaaat, you’re missing out on some classics!  Come on, it’ll be fun.  We’ve both been working so hard, we deserve a break.  Cass has a pair of passes too, so she and Conner are going to be there as well.  We can totes double together.”  (Incidentally, it had been a little odd how her partner had been so fortunate as to receive the exact same prize at the booth’s trivia guessing game right after her, but she’d learned not to question Cassandra’s keen – if sometimes creepily uncanny – sense of intuition.)
Tim bit his lip, but acquiesced at her pleading puppy eyes, which shone with eager stars of anticipation.
“…Okay.”
“Great!  It’s a date then.”  She exclaimed excitedly as she handed him his half of the voucher.
“A… date.”
He repeated robotically, surveying the stub as if in disbelief.
“I’ll see you on Saturday then.”
She waved as she skipped off, emboldened by sweet success.  In her jubilee, she accidentally ran straight into Conner as he coincidentally came round the corner, heading back to his room as well.
“Whoa, watch it there!”
He caught her just before she fell (unlike before, this sturdy target was obviously a lot harder to knock over), and she blushed a tinge as she felt his huge, strong arms wrap around her shoulder.
Man, what is it with me and bumping into hot guys recently?  …Not that I’m complaining, mind.
She wasn’t sure whether to be overjoyed or embarrassed by this recurring situation, but settled for leaning towards the former.  Conner, on the other hand, seemed a little less thrilled upon realizing the person in his grasp.
“Oh, it’s you. …Actually, good timing.  I want to talk to you about Tim.”
He raised her up, but kept a firm grip on her collar as he drew her back round the bend.  …It was almost a little painful, the amount of pressure his paw was putting on her petite stature.  His countenance was severely solemn as he stooped forward to meet her level.
“…Look, I’m just gonna come right out and say it so you don’t get the wrong idea.  Tim’s… ‘delicate’.  I mean, really delicate.”  He frowned, icy blue irises flaring dangerously as his dense, digging fingers deepened into the folds of her blouse, contracting and contacting to the bone.  “You need to watch what you say and do around him.  I swear, if you ever do anything intentionally to hurt him, I will never forgive you.  You got that?”
She recoiled, reasoning he was likely referring to the gun stunt.
Is he… making a genuine threat?
Steph was somewhat scared now as his shadow loomed over her, backing her against the wall.  She nodded meekly.
“U- understood.”
“Good.”
He released her, and she rubbed at the sore spot on her skin, wondering if it was going to leave a bruise. She was also starting to wonder what the heck Cass saw in this big dumb brute.  He was admittedly attractive, sure, but personality-wise he was Tim’s complete opposite: loud, brash, obnoxious – not to mention arrogant – basically your stereotypical jock.  And yet…
“You really care a lot about Tim, don’t you?”
Conner sniffed.  “Of course I do.  He’s my best friend.”
…’Friend’, huh?
The way he behaved seemed to go far beyond mere “friendship” though.  He was almost acting like an overprotective guardian.  …Or a possessive one.
“Could it be that you’re… jealous?”
“Me?  Jealous? Of you?”  Conner scoffed.  “Why on earth would I be jealous?  Just because you’re the one getting him to finally open up and trust you, participate in a bunch of social activities he never normally would, even though I’ve tried so hard to motivate him to be more outgoing over these past few years? To convince him to talk to me about his problems?  To be the kind of stupid-ass cliché you huma- people find so damn popular just so no one else would dare to mess with him?”
He laughed like a bark, though it sounded slightly strained.  Pained. Stephanie softened at such a display of devotion.
…Maybe he’s not such an oaf after all.
“For what it’s worth, I think you’ve done a lot more for him than you give yourself credit for.  I’m sure he appreciates having you as a pal.”
She cautioned a comforting pat on his broad muscle.
“Don’t worry, it’s not like I’m trying to steal him away from you or anything.  Besides, you’re doing the same thing for Cass, aren’t you? Trying to help her break out of her shell?  Heck, I’ve noticed she’s been a lot more vocal ever since you two started seeing each other.”
Conner rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.
“You think?  I mean, I guess you could say that.  I dunno, it feels like I’m not really right for her…  She’s so serious and deep, and – and next to her I feel like a total doofus most of the time…”
Stephanie couldn’t help but sympathize.  They were a weird couple, to be sure, but then the same could easily be said about her and Tim.
“Hey, far be it from me to judge, but even if it doesn’t seem like you’re made for each other off the bat, I think you owe it to yourselves to try and explore those feelings at least. You never know, maybe it will work out.”
…It might’ve been her imagination, but the margins of his mouth seemed to twitch a bit at the word “made”.  He coughed as he replied contritely though.
“Thanks.  And, uh, sorry about being rough earlier.”
“It’s all right.”  She smirked.  “You were just defending your ‘delicate’ flower’s honor.”
A humiliated flush crept onto his visage.
“Oi, despite what you may have heard, it’s not like that.”
“It’s okay,” she giggled in understanding.  “I feel the same way about Cass.  …I suppose you could consider it even then?”
“Um… I suppose.”  He looked confounded by the straightforward confession, but shrugged, not wanting to think too hard about it anymore, lest things get overly complicated.  “So… We good then?”
She smiled.
“Yeah.  We’re good.”
When the weekend rolled around, Stephanie dragged Cassandra clothes shopping before the big day, insisting on doing her hair and makeup as well.  By the time they arrived at the cinema, the boys were already there waiting, checking their watches out in the cold.  While she sheepishly apologized on both behalves for being “fashionably late”, Steph figured it was worth it when she saw their slack jaws at how much fashion had transformed them.  The guys were dressed decently to impress as well, both sporting smart leather jackets (although Tim’s looked a size too big for him, and Conner still had on that ruddy black Superman T-shirt underneath that seemed like it came from a little kid’s closet).
She took the initiative in lining up with Tim to order snacks and soda, in the meantime telling the other two to go find four seats together.  Luckily they didn’t have to wait long, as there didn’t seem to be many customers despite it being a Saturday.  (To be fair those tickets were probably pretty cheap and undesirable to given away free at some college fest.) Although she kept chatting cheerfully to try and pass the time, her other company seemed even more uncomfortable than usual in the lightly crowded lobby, hardly able to carry a conversation – let alone the food – all the way to the viewing room.  She began to worry if this had been a mistake to bring him here, and prayed the darkness and drama onscreen would at least be able to distract him enough to loosen up a little.
Cass and Conner had saved them two seats near the edge, and she sidled in next to her girlfriend (for moral support) while Tim took the one closest to the aisle.  He kept glimpsing tensely around though, still just as jumpy as before.
“Hey, chill out a bit, will ya?  What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he muttered. “It’s just, in my experience, this is usually the part where the place catches fire, or some punks try to rob the box office, or…”
She stared at him, shaking her head.
“You fret too much.  Just try to relax and enjoy, okay?  Here, have some popcorn.”
He passed on the salted kernels though, and she pouted as she popped one in her mouth, chewing over whether she’d made the right decision after all. He looked almost claustrophobic, stressed.  In distress.
Things didn’t improve much as the motion picture started to play.  The first feature presentation in the lineup was indeed Frankenstein, and although Tim managed to remain relatively calm enough throughout the monochrome, monotone introduction, he started to stiffen at the famous “awakening” sequence.
“Quite a good scene, isn’t it? One man crazy, three very sane spectators.”
Out of the crook of her eye, Steph sensed her companion cringe every time there was a thunderclap, as lights flashed and machinery sparked with mounting electricity, while the movie madman merrily turned the wheel to “adjust the batteries”.  Together, he and his assistant unrolled the cloth covering the table to expose a humanlike form strapped to it, albeit with limbs limp and lifeless.  Tim’s claw clutched at his armrest as the stretcher was gradually lifted up through a hole in the ceiling towards the stormy sky, where pulses of galvanizing lightning presumably struck the subject repeatedly.
Stephanie divided concentration back and forth between the increasingly agitated boy beside her and the big screen in growing alarm as his breathing accelerated, gasping and wheezing audibly as he bent forward and put his hyperventilating head between his knees.  Cass and Conner were casting concerned looks as well, while other annoyed audience members revolved around and shushed to keep it down.  As her attention was arrested by the scientist maniacally screaming “It’s alive!” over and over again, she turned back one last time to ask if Tim was all right in a worried whisper – but there was no answer.
Tim was gone.
————————–
Oh Lord, whatever did I say? Whatever made me think that this was all okay? No one held me to the flame The hell if I could take the dark from my face
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