#A Hoard of Witchers

[haveyoureadthisfanfic]

Summary: Shortly after his graduation and not-so-willingly leaving the city-house inhabited by the Countess de Stael, Jaskier finds himself on the road with nothing but a bit of food in his pockets, a stolen bottle of wine and the lute on his back. As it turns out, he has a penchant not only for music but also for encountering Witchers. - Over the years, Dragon!Jaskier hoards Witchers instead of gold, stabs some people and falls in love along the way.

Author: Quine

[quinemajo]

I made fanart for "A Hoard of Witchers" Witcher fanfiction

[chocochipclaire]

(mostly) dlc lady time

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

i hate games with a carry capacity

you don’t understand i need to collect and keep absolutely everything just in case

[korinthiakos]

Fuck, I gotta install it ( again )

[relicofkorax]

also it looks like I'm not getting any of my hoarded urls back so I'm going to use this one

[revacholianpizzaagenda]

Apocalyptic squirreling

We're not, like, impaling these quotes like the proverbial shrike or anything, just hoarding them away in a nice stash. A collection of Disco Elysium tidbits about the end of the world compiled by @yekokataa and I, feel free to add!

...starting with the game's earliest teaser trailer.

(28 rather than 27 could be its own odd math, there's some miscounting in the text now and then just like there's the occasional typo, or it could follow the fact that the year of canon events was changed at some point. for that matter, the infamous 22 years to the nuke should be 21, like it originally followed that same 28 and wasn't edited - consistently, the variable it flags is ice.andre_hyper_rc_succ_28)

(this is an example of odd math to me, for the record, as it's 365x27 to the day. It could be it's the EXACT count and also that Elysium doesn't have leap years, but I would've expected a less precise number, personally)

:)

Ours has actual six thousand years of history: it spans from its own version of the early Bronze Age (Perikarnassian period) to the early Middle Ages (Franconigerian period), to the Renaissance (Dolorian period), right up to a decade we call “The Seventies”. It’s a world like ours, one that has evolved culturally and technologically over widely varied periods of time. No Truce With the Furies takes place in the modernity of this world.

(source)

Q: How tight is the connection between the book and the game? Is it a Witcher-like situation? KURVITZ: Things in this world are connected to each other like things in our world are connected to each other – not like things are connected to each other in Star Wars. The book and the game share themes and historical developments. The book is set in the early seventies and the game is set in the early fifties. They are connected the way two stories set in our world would be. The fault-lines developing in the fifties are more apparent in the seventies. The situation has worsened, the political climate has shifted, but there is no Skywalker saga. The main story in Elysium is history.

(source)

yes yes we've all seen the nuke convo but let's put it here for completionism's sake

This connection - saying 22 instead of 27, or 28 as the variable reminds us - could seem strange based on game data alone, but it neatly follows the context of the book, which shows us that the bombing of Revachol is one and the same as the material beginning of the end of the world.

This one is also a fun book throwback, from apocalyptic Kurvitz self-insert to apocalyptic Kurvitz self-insert

(being appreciative of that kind of future just nets you a YEEEAGH)

more personally ominous than globally ominous but ominous nonetheless

("we become vapour" being, of course, the planned title of the eventual Elysium tabletop setting rulebook. sigh.)

This one's intriguing, isn't it? With an eye to Le Retour...

Her echoes of the other dialogue options are similarly ominous, for the record.

And we don't know if Nilsen had visions of his own (the man sounds well-acquainted with his Half Light, on behalf of the war crimes, so it's not... entirely out of the question) but we do know that his pocket calculator lap cat second-bestie very much did and could've been his source.

Also a strong book callback, among other things. Remember kids: object permanence!

Harry, all these quotes like this one sound like they would make sense for the actual guy who goes and blows it all up, not you personal-

...ah yes. Ambrosius looms... yeah buddy it sure is solemn AND historical, I'm afraid:

and of course, in closing:

🥲

...for the remaining 276 pages of Elysium tidbits about the end of the world, of course, over here.

[rosenfey]

⊱ tagged by @thanekrios to recommend some books! I've been back to reading since last winter and it brings me so much joy so I'd absolutely love to talk more about books! ☕🌸

1. — the last book I read:

GRIEF IS THE THING WITH FEATHERS by Max Porter. I just love Max Porter's writing style. It's unlike anything I've ever read before. The way he manages to capture some of the deepest, most confusing human emotions in such a succinct way without making them sound too saccharine is incredible.

2. — a book i recommend:

HOLLOW PLACES by Christopher Hadley. This is my favourite book of all time. I used to sleep with it next to my pillow so the cover is crooked and worn and i love it so much. It's a non-fiction exploration about the life of a medieval legend, how it shaped through the years and affected people around it. It's very much an essay on human memory and culture and our desire to tell stories, inadvertently leaving pieces of ourselves in the narrative as we go. It's beautiful, it's touching, it's incredibly entertaining to read, and it makes me feel so much love inside. As someone who studied folklore and religion in university it is deeply personal for me to visit all the castle ruins and other places people from the past lived in. It's a way to connect with them and to see that even though we are so incredibly different, we are also incredibly similar in some aspects. And this book captures that so well.

3. — a book that i couldn’t put down:

LANNY by Max Porter. Another fave from Max Porter. It's about this sleepy village and the eldritch horror forest being that stalks it and a little boy that is very much very strange. It's also a social commentary and an essay on environmental mindfulness. And it's incredible. I finished it in two days.

4. — a book i’ve read twice (or more):

WITCHES ABROAD by Terry Pratchett. This is where I come out as a Discworld fan. They were a huge part of my childhood and I remember especially loving the books about wizards and the witches. This one was definitely my fave and I did read it basically in one day when I read it for the first time. And I loved it so much I came back to it.

5. — a book on my tbr:

There are literally so many (I have a hoarding problem). But the most recent ones are: The Land of Maybe by Tim Ecott and Master and Margarita.

6. — a book i’ve put down:

The Witcher series... The writing style is really not for me and the plot (and the blatant sexism and male fantasy type of storytelling) lost me after the 5th book (sorry).

7. — a book on my wishlist:

Again, so many. I literally have two excel spreadsheets for my wishlisted books and it's getting out of hand. But the one I am especially keen on getting is A Natural History of Fairies, a beautifully illustrated little guide on fairy folklore.

8. — a favorite book from childhood:

REAPER MAN by Terry Pratchett. I used to be terrified of death when I was a kid. I still am but now I at least know he loves cats, has a horse called Binky, and supports labor workers.

9. — a book you would give to a friend:

WEIRD MEDIEVAL GUYS by Olivia Swarthout. If you are my friend then you know that I am absolutely normal (read "insane") about marginalia art. And this book has some of the silliest ones available for your thine pleasure (I would not want to fuck with a rabbit that has a bomb. Or a cat with a massive club. Or the snail with those grabby hands. Like nu-uh. They would grab me. With their hands. Cuz. Ya know... we still friends right???)

10. — a book of poetry or lyrics you own:

KYTICE by Karel Erben. Okay this is me being Slavic but also not generally into poetry much (as in I don't collect poetry books) but. I adore Kytice. It's a collection of ballads that center around monsters from slavic mythology (eat it witcher I mean I am sorry I just don't like the witcher please don't leave me come back I swear I am more than just a hater listen to me baby give me a chance) and they range from brutally sad to tragic to super gruesome and gory (okay most of them are pretty gory. but in a poetic way). Anyway I am not sure if they were translated to English yet but there is a movie and hopefully that one has subtitles (if not I am gonna learn how to make subtitles because I need people to see it).

11. — a non-fiction book you own:

DON'T TELL MY HORSE by Zora Neale Hurston. Because we need to mention more classical works by people of color. This is basically an anthropological view on the Haitian + Jamaican voodoo beliefs and it's so incredibly intricate and interesting to read I recommend it to anyone who is interested in the subject or just wants to broaden their range of classical literature.

12. — what are you currently reading:

Alice in Wonderland. I got the prettiest edition for my birthday so I am revisiting my childhood. :3

13. — what are you planning on reading next:

The Land of Maybe by Tim Ecott. It's a book about the slow life and nature of the Faroe Islands which is where I am staying at currently!

⊱ tagging (I am not sure who exactly reads from my mutuals so I will be using my regular tag list, feel free to ignore <3):

@hibernationsuit﹒@lavampira﹒@euryalex﹒@starforger﹒@pawnguild

@florbelles﹒@baldurians﹒@archonfurina﹒@dekarios

@inafieldofdaisies﹒@feykiller﹒@zahra-hydris﹒@noughtomaton﹒@corvus-rose

@ferwynter﹒@thefrostyshepard﹒@melancholicrainstorm﹒@sylvthara﹒@katsigian

@rindemption﹒@juniemoe﹒@eldensrings﹒@claudiawolf﹒@therapyvibes

@sibeal﹒@epheyang﹒@lotusfaebell﹒@ravensgard﹒@princessmelinoe

@lutebard﹒@nokstella﹒@pavus﹒@gothimp﹒and you ♡ — (un)like this post to be added / removed.

[dare-to-dm]

I'm replaying The Witcher 3, and one little thing that I like about it is the food. There are a bunch of different food items and they don't weigh anything, so you can hoard as much as you like. Eating food in this game is my primary method of healing, despite being the least efficient way to do it. When I run out of one kind of food, I like seeing which one instantly gets popped into my quick use menu next. Some of them are perfectly logical. Like, dried fruits and nuts, that's totally something I'd eat on a hike. And some of them are kind of bonkers to think about someone eating while they're out and about, like butter or a container of black pepper.

It's the little things.

[fandomtookoverlife]

Lost fic HELPPP

The Witcher Geralt/Jaskier - Geralt is magically reverted back to his basic instincts (supposed to be monstrous) instead is cuddly and very protective of Jask

If you don’t know this fic but like the sounds of it there are spoilers at the end of the post you shouldn’t read - you should however like and rb so they we may all find and read this fic bc I highly recommend it! (If only I had saved it😭)

Ok SO. it’s starts with Triss being very worried about people going missing and she goes to Geralt for help - they find out the people going missing are Witcher supporters when jaskier talks to a group of musicians (?) in a tavern, explaining to them why Witchers are not evil “he could kill us all” “yes he could but so can I, he doesn’t for the same reason I don’t” which is that it’s wrong but also Geralt wouldn’t want him to - the group explains that a friend of theirs who supports Witchers has gone missing

Being the ultimate supporter of Witchers jaskier goes in as bait to draw out the kidnappers/murders

Jaskier ends up getting their attention but also ends up getting kidnapped and locked in a cell. While in the cell he speaks with a musician+witcher supporter who is the friend of the other musicians Jask talked to during the investigation-

During the villains token monologue he reveals his hatred for Witchers and mutants and plans to show the world how evil that are by reverting Geralt back to his basic instincts- thinking when he lets lose the evil animalistic Witcher on the town geralt will massacre it

Jaskier gets thrown into the same cage as Geralt (now presumably murderous and primal) as the captors believe Geralt will rip him to shreds

Instead Geralt scoops jaskier up and cuddles him in a corner. Geralt, seeing jaskier is hungry, kills him some rats for dinner and jaskier has to politely decline much to geralts disappointment. Geralt, because he is leveled to his basic instincts, bring jaskier his lute to play after dinner as that is their nightly routine, he also tries to sexual advance on jask but when jaskier reacts he backs off continues cuddling

Yennefer and triss arrive to save them and she thinks that Geralt will try non consensual things w jask, bc she knows abt geralts feelings, so she tries to get Geralt to come through a petal with her without jaskier

Instead Geralt at the last second grabs jaskier and runs threw the portal where they end up in kear morhen with vesimir lambert and eskel

Yennefer leaves so her and truss can find a magical remedy and Geralt whisks jaskier up to his room on to his bed filled with furs and does not let him leave.

Eventually lambert comes to bring food to the two of them, since Geralt won’t let either of them leave his room, and Geralt now sees lambert as a rival since jaskier took food from lambert and not him (the rats)

Geralt becomes very protective of jaskier, almost to the point of violence, and eskel and lambert take turns watching over the two in geralts room, eskel sits inside but lambert mostly sits outside bc of geralts aversion to lambert getting near jaskier

Eventually Geralt gets restless and lures eskel into a fight, when they figure out the Geralt j needs some exercise they let him out of the keep, Geralt runs out of the keep, kills something and then come back to show jaskier what he’s killed like a cat showing off a mouse it’s caught.

When Geralt gets his cognitive function back he apologizes for his behaviour thinking he is an unforgivable animal who deserves Jaskiers hatred and disgust, as he spent the week hoarding jaskier in his bed and trying to kiss him.

Jaskier says that Geralt “stopping his sexual advances because he knew jaskier didn’t want it was not the argument Geralt thought it was” regarding geralts perceived unforgivable behaviour while under the influence

cue happy ending

Please someone know this fic I remember it being so good

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon (Modern AU) - Food

Witchers were known for being tough. For being able to survive conditions a normal human would not be able to. Witchers were stronger, more resilient, resistant to disease, and able to heal faster than humans.

Their bodies were altered to survive on little food, water, and sleep, and to be able to metabolize the poisons they drank to fight. It was very hard to poison a Witcher. They were made to keep going.

Geralt was no exception. When he was on the Path, he could drive for days without proper sleep (sometimes no sleep), and he would only stop for food when he absolutely had to.

Before he started living with Yennefer and Jaskier, it was just him, alone, so he didn't really worry too much about eating and sleeping regularly. He could eat what he wanted, when he wanted, which, admittently was usually a sandwich or microwave item from a gas station. And only when he had enough money after buying fuel.

But then he met Jaskier, and things changed. He aquired an old van so Jaskier wouldn't have to sleep in the dirt on the side of the road, or crammed in the small truck Geralt had been driving. He had to stop more often so Jaskier could eat, or get a decent amount of sleep.

Geralt was a little annoyed at first. He wasn't used to stopping so often. He was a 'We aren't stopping until we get there' kind of guy, but now he had a fragile human to keep alive, so he grudgingly started making regular stops so Jaskier could get something to eat.

Gas stations became unacceptable food sources after a janky sandwich left Jaskier violently ill. Jaskier convinced Geralt (between bouts of vomiting) that eating (real, safe food) regularly was a good thing. Just because he could survive on little food (or suspicious gas station food), didn't mean it was a healthy thing to do.

"Why shouldn't Witchers eat well, Geralt? Why shouldn't they get a decent amount of sleep and take care of themselves?"

"Hm,"

"Because they're Witchers? That's a sh*t argument, Geralt."

"You keep your swords in excellent shape. You make sure they are clean, sharp, and in good repair. You should do the same for your body."

"Hmm."

Geralt thought about it, and admitted to himself that Jaskier was correct. Some of his contracts would not have been nearly as hard if he had been well rested and had been eating better.

He started making sure that he and Jaskier ate regular meals. If it was a quick stop, he made sure it was food from a deli, or other reputable place with actual sanitary food handling standards.

Although sometimes all they could get was questionable gas station food.

Jaskier *holding up two sandwiches*: "Geralt, would you like explosive diarrhea or projectile vomiting?"

Geralt: " I'll take the projectile vomiting."

And then he met Yennefer, and they decided to move in with Jaskier at his house in Oxenfurt.

At first Geralt stuck to his old habits of eating only when he was really hungry and he absolutely had to eat.

He started keeping a small hoard of food in his room. He couldn't really explain why. It was mostly bags of beef jerky, crisps, and granola bars. There were also a few honey buns sprinkled in.

He got over it after Yennefer caught him trying to replenish his hoard.

"Are you actually hoarding food? Like a f***ing hamster?"

"We have food, Geralt! And don't think I haven't noticed you not eating properly!"

"Well, maybe if you would f***ing eat with us three times a day you wouldn't be hungry."

You're supposed to eat three meals every day, you plank! And eat real food, not this junk!"

"You aren't on the Path, and even when you are, you don't have to worry about money for food, so you don't have to starve yourself."

You can keep your snack hoard, but you're going to join Jaskier and I for every meal, or there will be consequences. Do you hear me, Geralt? Consequences!"

"And give me one of those honey buns, I love those things."

Thus, after a brief adjustment period, Geralt got used to the idea of eating regularly. It was odd, sitting down to three full meals every day. He had been so used to being hungry all the time, that it was strange to...not be.

After a few months of eating well, Geralt noticed that his hair and skin looked better too. And then he noticed something else.

He was stood in front of the mirror in his room, studying his reflection. He turned this way and that, and looked at how his usually very well-defined muscles where kind of...soft looking.

Geralt had been concerned and mentioned it to Yennefer. The witch had rolled her eyes and told him he was being silly.

"You aren't supposed to look like a shrink wrapped string of footballs, Geralt. Normal people have a layer of fat under their skin that is supposed to be there!"

"Hm!"

"A Dad Bod? That's not a Dad Bod! And even if it was, so what? What's wrong with a Dad Bod?"

"Hmmm!"

"Oh, for f**k's sake! You aren't overweight, you muppet! You finally don't look like a starving wolf! Good gods, those don't even count as love handles!"

"Hm..."

"Stop being ridiculous! You aren't supposed to look like you've been vacuum sealed. That's just an unhealthy body standard pushed by idiots and morons."

Geralt wasn't terribly convinced at first, but he eventually realized that Yennefer was right. He decided he liked this new body. He noticed that he had more energy, fighting monsters was easier, he was recovering from toxicity more quickly, and he just overall felt so much better.

He did end up with a Dad Bod after putting on some extra weight over the winter when there was nothing much to do but sit around or go to friends and family for holiday celebrations with lots of food.

Geralt got to experience his first food coma that winter. They had gone to Madeleine's house for the winter solstice. She and Yennefer had made lots of food. Geralt had passed out on Madeleine's couch, with crumbs on his shirt front, gravy on his cheek, and his belt and the button on his pants undone to make room for his overly full belly.

More than a few comemorative photos had been taken while he'd slept.

He was self-concious after gaining the extra weight, but Yennefer and Jaskier never made fun of him, or made any derogatory comments. They never commented at all about his love handles, or the extra padding on his belly, which was kind of starting to loom over his waistband. In fact, they seemed to like this 'squishy' Geralt.

They were constanly huggng him, or snuggling up with him on the couch while they watched the telly. Sometimes they even made him lay on the floor and used him as their personal heated cushion.

There was just something comfortable and nice about a soft, warm Witcher belly! It was better than any old pillow or couch cushion.

Sometimes they even fought over who was going to get first pick of what part of him they were going to cuddle.

"You got to put your head on his pillowy boobs last time, Yen!"

"Yeah, well you got to sleep with your face in his tiddies for months!"

"That doesn't count, Yennefer! I was dealing with a traumatic event! I couldn't even enjoy it! And they weren't even this cushy!"

"Tough sh*t, f**kwit, it still counts!"

"It does not, you a**waffle!"

Geralt ended the argument by grabbing both of them and smashing their faces into his tits. The surprised yelps quickly turned into muffled giggles.

When the weather warmed up, turning back into Spring, Geralt spent a little time off the Path, getting himself back into shape. He set up a little workout area outside in the backyard, and put it to good use every day, unknowingly giving their elderly neighbor lady a nice little show.

[0dde11eth]

Another Favorite fanfic trope:

Geralt having a sweet tooth and hoarding goodies. Every possible chance he gets for a treat he takes it, even if "witchers and the path don't allow for sweet things"

Jaskier knowing this and being a complete enabler, spoiling the Witcher at every possible opportunity.

[teecupangel]

Hey Tee! I did an ask about this for The Witcher fandom a while ago now it popped in my head for AC and-

Studio Ghibli AUs. All the Studio Ghibli AUs!!! Which pairing do you think fits best with each movie?

I was wondering if you meant Desmond pairings or if you meant like… non-Desmond pairings but, fuck it, my default setting is that you meant Desmond pairing so here’s some Desmond pairings for you XD

(I will try to add a spin to it or something, we’ll see)

AltDes: Spirited Away

In this setup, we’ll change the parents to Shaun and Rebecca and the idea is Desmond and the two of them are on their way to their next mission. This one will not have any Animus BS in it but they’re still all Assassins.

The same setup as the beginning of Spirited Away but I kinda wanna make them into turkeys instead of pigs so we can have a reference to the Assassin Turkey XD

Anyway, Al Mualim would be the owner of the bathhouse that Desmond works with and Altaïr would be the mysterious employee whose name nobody knows. 

One of the main themes of this movie is losing one’s identity so we’ll have Desmond only be called 17. Every employee is only called by number and Altaïr would be called 1. The other main characters would take the other numbers (2 for Ezio, 3 for Ratonhnhaké:ton, etc) with Clay being 16 because he’s 16. 

Altaïr will be one of the employees helping Desmond but he’s the most distant of them. Maybe that would be the reason why Desmond would notice him because he can feel a familiar loneliness clinging onto Altaïr and he’d be ‘curious’ about it. Their budding closeness would be the reason why Altaïr would be the one to go ‘fuck all of this’ and leave his ‘post’ to help Desmond and Desmond would realize who Altaïr is because of the small details he could remember (and how Desmond had learned about the Assassins of old)

Anyway, it ends in a similar way as Spirited Away with Desmond realizing that all of the employees were Assassins and the bathhouse is meant to be a stop point between living and afterlife. Al Mualim used a POE he found using the Apple that was one of the failed solutions to the Solar Flare to create that pocket dimension and he’s been hoarding these Assassins as a way to have his own army (with defective memories that would make them easier to control) and the pocket dimension would pierce reality and revive them into the current timeline.

Everyone had been helping Desmond because they believe Desmond could still leave if he remembers he’s Desmond, not knowing that only meant that Desmond would pass to the afterlife and not actually return to his old life.

Desmond being Desmond fucked that up because his very existence and his belief that all of these people (employees + Al Mualim and the guests which are actually just passing ghosts that Al Muliam didn’t take) are real jumpstart the reality bending power of the POE but that also meant Desmond has become the singularity, not Al Mualim.

Then the twist would be the reason why the three got into the pocket dimension is because the car they used exploded thanks to a bomb that Lucy placed (orders from Vidic) and their mission had been to investigate Clay’s death.

So… either go for the afterlife peaceful life ending or the ending where the reality bending POE does success thanks to Desmond. 

EziDes: Honestly, I was thinking either Howl’s Moving Castle or Castle in the Sky but I decided to go with Howl’s Moving Castle instead

In this one, Desmond would be Howl so we can have AC Revelations!Ezio hahahaha

No, seriously.

Anyway, the witch is Juno (of course), Calcifer is Clay and Turnip Head would be Suleiman who does fall in love with Ezio but… yyeeaaahhh.

So, Desmond is cursed to not have a heart by Juno (and it’s shaped like the Apple of Eden and is Juno’s main ‘weapon’) and he can transform into a similar bird creature but this one is bathed in white and have gold lines all over (Ezio would realize the gold lines are very similar to the gold lines of the Apple) and he does transform to keep the two warring side in check even if it’s taking a toll on his body. The more toll it takes, the more golden lines appear on his body, all originating from the scar where his heart had been taken.

Clay tells Ezio he can free him from his curse but he wants to be freed first. This is all a big gamble because Clay knows the only way to free him from the life connection he has with Desmond is if Desmond regains his heart before Clay’s fire is completely snuffed out.

The ending is similar to Howl’s Moving Castle but Ezio would steal Juno’s Apple because he knows it’s connected to Desmond but don’t know how while Juno is punished by the king she ‘sided’ with. (Lorenzo, maybe?)

ConDes: Princess Mononoke

I’m going to be completely honest here, Princess Mononoke is my favorite Studio Ghibli film and I was tempted to make this the AltDes one but ConDes just fits soooo much more so, yeah, let’s start this.

Ratonhnhaké:ton would be our Ashitaka and he’d be ‘banished’ from his village because he was cursed after killing a demon before it could reach his village. His grandmother (the clan mother as well) tells him to go west where the demon (which they had realized was a corrupted boar god) had hailed from.

Along the way, he meets George Washington who suggests that maybe the Great Forest Spirit could cure him… if he was to find it anyway.

So Ratonhnhaké:ton reached Iron Town that is under the control of the Templar Order with Haytham Kenway as the leader (up to you if we’re keeping their familial relationship or not)

He also sees the town be attacked by wolves and a man in a hood and a mask that rides one of the wolves and attacks the townspeople as well. 

Okay, for this one, Desmond is obviously the San of this AU and his wolf brethren would be Altaïr and Ezio. 

Can we keep Gillian Anderson as Moro? No? Fine. Maria Auditore or Minerva gets the role of mama!wolf god. Take your pick.

Yeah, George Washington’s gonna steal that head. XD

Alright, so those are the main three done and here are some more Studio Ghibli AU ideas that I’m just throwing out there:

Fuck it. I want a Castle in the Sky one so here: Arno x Desmond with Laputa Castle in the Sky with Desmond being the mysterious man everyone wants to abduct and Arno helping him try to escape and also looking for the mythical Laputa that his father had been searching until his untimely demise.

My Neighbors the Yamada with the Kenway family. Either this is a sweet AU where nothing bad happened to them OR this is like the exact opposite of My Neighbors the Yamada and is just pure Kenway Family Drama all the way. Either way, the fic would be set in Desmond’s POV who is neighbors with the Kenways and it’s up to you if this is gonna be EdDes, HayDes or ConDes (or even JenDes)

Kiki Delivery Service with Desmond being Kiki, Clay as Jiji and Leonardo being that kid that is absolutely enraptured by how Desmond could use a broom to fly. The bakery is absolutely owned by the Auditores with Maria Auditore pregnant with Petruccio. (this can either be EziDes or LeoDes)

Only Yesterday AU where Jacob returns to his childhood rural town after a very bad breakup and tries to ‘repair’ his relationship with his sister that shattered after their father’s death. She’s married and has a child and her husband’s cousin, Desmond, is also a distant childhood friend. 

The Cat Returns would be so fun for Desmond and I kinda want it to be Eivor x Desmond with the Cat King being Odin. I don’t know why, it sorta kinda fits? Baron could even be Basim and Toto would be Hytham, why not?

I kinda wanna make a joke and say Graves of the Fireflies with the Frye twins but just remembering Graves of the Fireflies makes me wanna cry so no, we are not using Graves of the Firefly in this one unless the AU has Desmond save the kids. 

I gotta end it there because if I don’t, I’ll be stuck here thinking of AU ideas for every Studio Ghibli film I’ve watched and I’m pretty sure I watched almost all of them. God, I wanted to make a Nausicaa Valley of the Winds AU but all I can think of are the Templars using ancient weapons to control the world and Desmond being Nausicaa. That’s as far as I got.

[solarphase1]

More of Geraskier pirates or something -

“Who are you, anyways?”

His captain and captor peered at him under a too-big jeweled crown, lounging upon the day's hoard. The question was flat, but his eyes were curious. The moonlight reflected first from the water’s surface, then second off of the gold and jewels. It bounced around Jaskier in all directions, and he looked truly in that moment, and for the first time since Geralt had seen him, like he may not be entirely human after all.

“A sailor from Rivia. As I told you before.” Geralt hummed the response regarding the other from where he was still bound to the mast.

“Except you aren’t Rivian. Wrong accent.”

Jaskier stood, gold clinking with the movement, and within a few steps crouched down to eye level while displaying something in his hand with a small flourish.

“And these are letters of Marque, from your coat. Which, I’m guessing, makes you about the poorest bounty hunter of the era,” his eyes narrowed, with curiosity rather than malice, “you don’t even get the bounty.”

Yellow eyes leveled him cooly at the accusation, “Sailor.”

“Privateer,” Jaskier tucked the papers away once again, standing to full height. “And you’re not human either. So what in the devil are you?”

The man did not give an answer for a while, pondering something. Perhaps wondering if he should lie. Then, after a moment -

“Witcher.”

Immediately Jaskier scoffed a disbelieving laugh. “No,” a finger wag and disapproving chuckle, “witchers don’t exist.”

He was met only with a flat, blank, unwavering and…truthful stare. And silence. He stared at Geralt a moment in that silence before sputtering back to life with breathy denial.

“No, no - you are most certainly not going to sit there and look at me as though I’m the one being ridiculous here. Sure, you’re a Witcher, that should be simple enough considering the only standing Mythos - the mere MYTH of Witchers - is, what, 2000 years old??”

“So you do know your history.”

“Mythology,” the captain corrected as he ceased his pacing and looked, really looked at the strange man. A moment of thoughtful silence. Something wary, something fearful behind blue eyes. “Prove it.”

“Untie me.”

“Ah, so that's it then,” He was back to banter, “quite a flimsy escape plan I really must say I’ve heard better - HAH - silly Jaskier, almost falling for the ‘I’m a Witcher,’ play, oldest move in the book…” His little monologue teeters out as he falls back on his pile of gold.

“What am I going to do with you? The Not-Witcher from Not-Rivia…”

[three-possums-playing-human]

List on fanfic ideas but the descriptions are a little vague (all of these i plan on writing at some point! multiple of them are already in the works)(All include Steddie, most also will have at least background Ronance, possibly other ships in background too)

Steve goes to get Eddie’s body but it’s not there so he Robin and Dustin go hunt for Eddie in the Upside Down while Eddie runs around going “NO IM AN EVIL VAMPIRE STAY AWAY”

Witcher AU where Steve is a very incompetent Witcher and Eddie is… some kind of creature and Steve can’t figure him out

Everyone is a secret monster

Robin and Dustin go cryptid hunting for a cryptid Eddie and Steve is just along for the ride

Eddie is a creature that lives in Lover’s Lake and throws things at couples going there for couple reasons to amuse himself (he doesn’t do it often enough to garner much attention… until Steve) and Steve is getting annoyed because he’s brought 3 dates there and gotten hit in the head by a rock each time.

Steve and Eddie work for opposing assassin agencies and get hits on each other, chaos ensues

Eddie is a harmless demon who spends every day pestering Steve

Vampire Double Trouble

High fantasy au with Demon lord Eddie who has a bounty on his head, Knight Steve is sent to collect this bounty

Dragon Shifter Eddie where Hellfire is his hoard and Dustin is the only one who can tell that their dungeon master isn’t human

Steve gets bitten by the demogorgon in season one, and hides the fact that he’s a demo-shifter until season 4 when he gets into the upside down and can’t control it.

Eddie is a god in the medieval era, and Hawkins randomly selects a sacrifice each year to send to the god. Dustin gets chosen, but Steve goes instead, and romance ensues because Eddie is fascinated by the headstrong human

Normal canon but everyone has a daemon (like in Golden Compass) and how that would affect the plot

I have more but these are the most fleshed out ones

[inexplicifics]

I'm really enjoying Dilan in the latest installment of the AWAU! I'm stealing him for my awesome witcher OC hoard.

One question though, how do you pronounce his name? Is it Dill-an, Die-lan, dill-Ann, or some other pronunciation I haven't managed to think of?

I think it's "Dill-an," as it happens. Have fun with him! He's a delight!