#ALSO THE GARDEN GNOMES HELLO ????

[gib-mir-gift]

10pm et!!! you know what that means !!!!!!

wwdits tumblr livetweeting its demise <3

[istoleyoursk1n]

Hello! I know I just requested something else, but I also have another request if you're up for it 🥰 How about all of the companies with a s/o who's really short and wears a lot of layers but it's later revealed that they're absolutely ripped and ridiculously muscular but nobody would have expected it? I think it'd be hilarious to see everyone go "Holy cow you could crush my head if you wanted to 😯"

Thank you so much again!!

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How would they react to a Tav who wears a lot of layers but is secretly ripped

.

.

: ̗̀➛ ASTARION

“So you’re telling me the little garden gnome could have manhandled half of us if they wanted to? Gods. Am I to be thanking you for sparing me and my pretty skin unscathed all this time?”

Probably the one making fun of your height and holding things up above you so you couldn't reach them.

He didn't really see you as anything he should be threatened by so he figured he could get away with a lot.

Besides you never really tried to fight back most of the time so he found his own little source of entertainment with his playful little jabs at you.

Was very much startled when you shook those layers off to reveal your muscular frame, he didn't expect it at all. You didn't even look strong in his eyes, until now at least.

Suddenly he’s wondering why you haven't once tried to punch him in the face after the amount of times he's poked fun at you.

Do not punch his face though (0/10) would not recommend, he bites.

Questions why you even bother to hiding yourself in layers upon layers of clothing? Is it some sort of deceptive tactic he wasn't aware of? (It probably wasn't but he’s appalled that you’d even hide something like this).

Other than that, he's impressed. Who knew you were hiding your own raw strength behind layers of clothing? Quite the sight for sore eyes if he does say so himself.

Encourages you to show it off more often, who needs all those rags when you have such an impressive build?

: ̗̀➛ WYLL

“Hells, to think that behind all those rags was the body of a true warrior! Safe to say that I’ll never be doubting your abilities again.”

Truthfully found you rather adorable since you were considered the shortest among the rest of your travelling companions.

You seemed harmless enough, but, he never once believed that you were completely fragile because of it.

However, there were times when he’d often do tasks that you knew you were perfectly capable of handling yourself over the fact that he was unaware of your true strength.

There have been a lot of times when he jumped in front of you during battles, worried that you couldn't handle it yourself.

However, the shock that appeared on his face once all those layers were shaken off was priceless.

He might have been a little bit embarrassed as well seeing as how he might have underestimated you a tad bit which knew could be quite undermining on your end.

Immediately voices his initial surprise and how amazed he is that you seem to look as fit if not even more so than him.

You look amazing! And he wishes you could leave all the layers more often if it's something you are comfortable with of course.

You knew he was already quite fond of you but now wistful glances from him would come as often as possible in pure admiration of your raw strength. Safe to say he’d never be underestimating your capabilities again.

: ̗̀➛ GALE

“It seems that until now, I find myself learning new information about you… though, I must say, you possessing a rather athletically built figure wasn't one of them. Not to say I don’t appreciate the way you look.”

Wasn't quite sure why you were wearing that many layers of clothing. The weather was already relatively hot and still, you insisted on wearing such things.

I mean, as long as you are comfortable and happy with them he didn't seem all too bothered by it.

Found you endearing in his own way, seeing as he would often find himself craning his neck or having to bend his body to meet your eye level but it made it all the more amusing for him.

Similar to Wyll, he found himself underestimating your true abilities as you truly appeared harmless in his eyes. Sure, if you had to kill a goblin for your own survival you would but you didn't exactly give off brutish vibes.

Even so, that never made him find your company any less enjoyable.

Though, he was quite startled when your true form was revealed, and all those extra layers of clothing were taken off from you. He wasn't even sure if he was looking at the right person.

One moment you appeared as innocent and delicate as could be only for you to actually have the body of someone who's probably more physically capable than him.

You've probably given him another reason as to why he admires you all too much. The new look on you is a tad bit distracting for him and Gale can't manage to hide how smitten he is for the life of him.

If anything, now you’re all the more distracting to him, and it takes him a while to break out of that haze he's put himself in.

: ̗̀➛ KARLACH

“Fucking hell, all the things I could have known about you but I never thought it would be this! You’re absolutely ripped! A badass body for one of the coolest people I know.”

Was practically squealing from how adorable you looked, especially in comparison to her towering height. You were like a little puppy in her eyes.

She couldn't understand why you’d wear so many layers of clothing, it's not like it was cold, and she knew that if she were to try that herself she’d feel uncomfortable as all hell.

But she won't press on it, as long as you are okay with it then wear as much as you wish.

The moment she was able to touch you, she was off carrying you around. She had wanted to pick you up for the longest time but she didn't understand why you felt slightly heavier than she thought you would be.

Perhaps it's all the extra layers of clothing? Either way, she didn't care. As long as she got to mess around with her favorite travel companion then what the hell.

Freaked out the moment you actually revealed how ripped you are beneath all the rags. You were practically as muscular as her.

It only seemed to excite her more because now she's fawning over how amazing you look and what you did to make your body look like this.

You've only grown to be ten times more awesome in her eyes and to see you use your true strength makes her swoon. She couldn't have chosen a better companion to have alongside her.

Suddenly the extra weight she felt carrying you made a lot more sense. Not that she’ll ever complain. Even with the newfound information, she’ll never stop lifting you up in her arms for the fun of it.

: ̗̀➛ SHADOWHEART

“I suppose there's more to be known about you, isn't there? I was not expecting you to be as fit as you are but I can't say it isn't something I’d find myself grow tired of seeing.”

She didn't think much about the extra layers of clothing you wore other than it being for comfort or aesthetics. She's not one to care much for it.

You've been a helpful and valuable member of the group thus far, she saw no reason to underestimate you even in terms of strength.

It was rather amusing to have you around as a much shorter companion than her.

It wasn't something she ever mentioned or poked fun of but the coy little smile on her face revealed just how much she found the height difference amusing.

She was pleasantly surprised the moment you revealed just how muscular you truly are, even with her insight she never would have expected it.

Regardless, she's impressed with your stature, knowing that obtaining such a form would have taken a long time to have.

With or without all the layers, she still thinks you’re pleasing in her eyes, and whether you choose to use that undeniable strength is all up to you.

Though, she will take a moment to admire you while she can. She’d never force you to quit using layers of clothing but looking at you when you’re like this has its own appeal.

: ̗̀➛ LAE’ZEL

“Just when I thought we’d have to eliminate you for your lack of use. Chk, perhaps I was wrong about you, istik. Consider my blade unsheathed for now.”

Practically disregarded you at first. You seemed so weak in her eyes that she wasn't even sure what assistance you’d provide for her.

She finds the layers upon layers of clothing unnecessary and it isn't practical when charging into battle. She's told you to leave it multiple times to your dismay.

Unless you have done something to prove that you are fairly capable of handling your own battles, she's very blunt about how incapable you seem to her.

It's even worse if you’re short cause she just has more aspects of you to undermine you with.

She’ll come off as really mean but that's mostly due to how she was raised. She can easily spot disadvantages and she won't hesitate to point out each one, especially if you two aren't close.

Was genuinely shocked to see you without the layers and what your true strength truly holds. She would have taken all those demeaning words the moment you've proved yourself.

Besides, seeing you in your true glory probably woke something up in her.

She's infatuated by strong, powerful warriors and seems that you fit the bill.

You were everything she thought you weren't and she’d come to realize just how wrong about you she was. You could have probably even sparred against her if only she had given you the proper chance.

She’d come around to actually apologizing for her earlier jabs at you sooner or later but she truly has gained a newfound respect for you. You’ll never find her insulting you again.

: ̗̀➛ HALSIN

“You’re full of surprises, aren't you? Perhaps you never truly needed my protection, you've been blessed with a body that I’m certain nature itself worked tirelessly to perfect. However, I stand at your side in case you wish for any assistance.”

Thought nothing much of your extra layers of clothing. If anything it made you look all the more adorable in his eyes.

You could tell he was already enamored by you every time you had to look up to him to speak, the smile on his face never seemed to have disappeared.

He was probably extra protective of you under the assumption that you weren't as strong as the rest. Not that it was something he considered to be bad, but he wanted to make sure you wouldn't get hurt.

He’d end up doing most of the fighting for you, insisting that he's got it handled even though you knew you were capable of fighting the rest off yourself.

Regardless, it wasn't unpleasant to have Halsin come in to protect you despite your capabilities, it showed how much he cared.

He was startled when you showed your body beneath all the layers of clothing, even having to take a few seconds to stare as if he couldn't believe it.

This only seemed to make him all the more interested in you now that his eyes managed to catch a glimpse of the skin underneath all those rags, it was a sight that he would have imprinted into his mind.

Nevertheless, he will never underestimate you again but he’ll always be there in case you still wish for his protection. He could never say no to you.

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[irishmammonagenda]

Summertime Shenanigans-Obey Me X Reader

Summary: You go to the Celestial Realm on a mission, and end up finding out about a horror occurring all over different afterlives. With Lucifer's upcoming birthday, chaos ensues. Word Count: 6.3k+ Warnings: more than half of this is crack btw. female reader. Religious references. OCs involved, mentions of mythology, very bad representation of a very certian country. very much a Lucifer x reader bc its his birthday <3

post dividers by @saradika-graphics

You seem to keep finding yourself in the Celestial Realm these days, which makes sense seeing as you did get reincarnated as an angel so it is technically your realm. But still, you've visited the Celestial Realm as an angel way more times than you'd visited the Human Realm as a human.

Nothing but your thoughts occupy you as you climbed over the fence that bordered the official entrance to the Celestial Realm. Technically you could´ve just walked through the gate like a fucking normal person, or y´know used your wings to fly over the massive fence, but climbing was funner.

When you do make it over the fence, you make a beeline for the Celestial Gardens, passing Saint Peter on the way. The man just looks at you and sighs inwardly muttering something about how he was not crucified upside down just to watch some crackhead climb over the gates of heaven, he turns away from you and moves to greet a new arrival, being the nosy fucker that you are, you decide to watch from behind a cloud.

Peter can see you by the way. You're not fooling anyone, he's just choosing to ignore you.

Peter smiles at the young woman with hair as orange as a runny yolk. He nods to her. "Hello, and welcome to Heaven. I'm Saint Peter."

The woman's eyes widen and she looks around. "Heaven? But...that can't....I'm not..-"

Peter sighs, looking at the pendant of Mjölnir around her neck and nodding to himself. "Valhalla is currently under construction, again. We in Heaven have agreed to take all coming to Valhalla and host them for a few weeks until the damage is fixed. Again."

The woman lets her quickened breathing slow down, she mumbles weakly. "O-oh right...thank you...but..Valhalla's damaged, how?"

"Nothing much, just Derek."

"Derek?"

Peter shrugs, you tilt your head from where you're hiding behind your cloud. "He's just some guy. He's been appearing in every plane of Afterlife and, pardon my french, fucking things up."

The woman cracks her knuckles. "But why?"

Peter shrugs, "Because Derek's a dickhead."

"I see...."

Peter hands her a pamphlet before pointing her in the direction of the temporary accomodation set up for Norse Devotees before turning around and yanking the cloud off of you.

"Michael's where he usually is. Also, please stop climbing the fence, you're scaring the doves."

"Who's Derek and what's he got against Valhalla?"

Peter just sighs, "He's from Illinois."

"Understandable. I'm off to go see Michael, Bye Peter!"

"Goodbye MC! Use the gate next time!" Is all Peter shouts after you, before turning and having to explain to another disgruntled newcomer that a man called Derek exists so they have to stay in Heaven for a week.

After making it to the Celestial Gardens, you find Michael, Jesus and surprisingly, Satan huddled together looking at a crystal ball. You stop in your tracks, "What are you guys doing?"

"Making a gnome." Michael answers at the same time Jesus and Satan say, "Watching people debate theology."

You blink, sitting down in between Jesus and Satan. The former groaning with his head in his hands, exasperation written all over his tanned face, strands of dark wavy hair fall over his expression as eyes as rich as soil squeeze shut. An unusual sight to say the least. "If these people don't stop calling my mother a whore..."

"Yucky." You make a face.

"Very yucky." Michael agrees. "It's a shame we're not allowed to smite humans anymore."

You tilt your head looking at the Archangel. "You'd smite someone for calling another person a whore?"

Michael nods, golden curls and coils bouncing around as he does so, some paper shavings falling out from the confines of the coils like dandruff, ruby red eyes portray seriousness he doesn't normally express as he looks up from where he's giving the gnome insanely big ears. "Well no one messes with Mary."

Jesus nods in agreement.

Satan pats Michael on the shoulder, "Damn straight."

You look between the three, making note of Michael's green robe tied in such a way half of his chest is visible. Said visible skin is covered in glue and paper. "So, why are you torturing a gnome, and why are you guys watching humans debate theology?"

Satan shrugs, watching in the crystal ball as the Jehovah's Witnesses' enter the room to debate. "Funny."

Jesus smiles, "Interesting, but also frustrating."

Michael looks between the two, now attempting to paper maché more hair onto the gnome, in the process somehow getting newspaper stuck to his dark skin. "I'm an artist."

Satan gives you a hug, standing up and stretching his legs. "Well I better get going. If I leave fast enough I won't have to deal with Saint Peter on the way out."

Michael whistles, still not looking up from the gnome. "This about the upside down cross symbol?"

Satan sighs. "Not my fault people think it's my symbol not his...."

Michael discreetly glances over to Jesus who is explaining to you what's been happening in the debate he and Satan were watching. "Well I mean, getting crucified is kind of a bad experience sometimes."

Jesus makes a face at him. Michael raises his hands. "Okay...all the time."

Satan gives his uncle a look before he waves goodbye to you. "See you back at home, yeah?"

"Mhm! But don't tell Lucifer I'm here or I was here."

Satan smirks. "Only if you don't tell him I was here."

"Pinky promise?" You hold your pinky out.

"PInky promise." Satan intertwines your pinkies before waving goodbye to Jesus. "Bye Jesus! Sorry about the whole Desert thing! Bye Michael thanks for the blackmail material."

"Goodbye my favourite nephew!"

"Goodbye Satan." Jesus pauses the crystal ball and smiles kindly at you. "So what brings you to the Celestial Realm?"

You stiffen. "Oh yeah....I need to talk to Michael..."

Michael pauses from where the massive ears for the gnome have broken apart due to their heaviness. "If it's about Derek I already have a meeting with Father, Hera, The Dagda, and Odin later on today about the situation." He drawls boredly, before grinning, "But don't worry, I'll be sure to tell you all the details afterwards!"

You blank, "Well-...uh...it's not about Derek...." Jesus senses some sort of emotional turmoil from you, and places a tanned, scarred hand on your shoulder comfortingly.

Michael pauses from his horrific gnome creation, looking up at you with a raised eyebrow. Ruby red eyes staring into your soul. "Oh...then what's it about? You seem nervous."

Jesus stands up, giving you a pat on the head. "Well I'll give you two your privacy. Good luck with whatever it is, MC." The man gives you a knowing smile before walking away, the sun shining on his dark waves. You watch him leave, missing his comforting presence as you turn your attention onto the Archangel.

Time to ask him the biggest most important question in your afterlife.

meanwhile...

"Psst, kid. Yo kid." A man wearing a baseball cap asks from the fence bordering heaven, a cherub looks up at him, her small head tilting in confusion.

"Who are you?" She asks, stumbling onto her tiny feet as she walks towards the fence.

"I'm a friend....I got locked out of Heaven on accident and need help getting back in!" The strange man says, running his hands over his buzz cut, he adjusts his Chicago cubs cap. "I just need you to let me in!"

The little girl blinks at him, her small ringlet curls sway slightly in the light breeze as she gets closer to the fence. "But I dunno you...."

The man's lips tighten for a moment before morphing into a smile. "But I'm your friend! Are we not friends?" He says, allowing his face to fall into a sad expression.

The little girl looks up at him, still a few yards away from the fence, just out of arm's reach of the man. "My daddy sayed I'm not allowed to talk to strangers...."

"Oh really?" The wolfish man smiles. "And who's your daddy?"

"God!" She grins. "Well so is my other daddy and mummy but they're still on earth!"

God? He pales. "Oh...right....Well I'm still your friend, aren't I?" He reaches a hand through the fence, he needed to get into heaven for his plan God Dammit! The hand inches closer to the cherub.

"What's going on here?" A voice cuts through the silence along with tanned skin and ash-blond hair. The man retracts his hands from through the fence immediately.

"Oh...just got lost and couldn't find the main gates!....I was trying to get help...!...Is all..."

Raphael nods slowly, looking from the man to the cherub. "So you asked a cherub?"

"She was the only person I'd saw!"

"Guards patrol around the perimeter of the realm. Surely you could've flagged down one of them?"

"O-oh."

Raphael's lips twitch upwards slightly in something that could hardly be described as a smile. "No problem. I can direct you to where you need to go." The angel's hand twitches and a spear starts to materialise.

"Hey Michael can I borrow that sellotape for a second?"

"Sure! What for?" Michael tilts his head, still waiting on this very important thing you're supposed to be asking him.

You whsitle, pulling up your shirt and sellotaping under your breast on the left side of your ribs, where your pact mark with Lucifer is. "I can't risk Luci finding this out yet...."

Michael raises an eyebrow playfully.

"So basically...I uh...I kind of need to ask you something..."

Michael grins, red eyes sparkling. "You can ask me anything MC!"

"I...I need your blessing."

"My blessing?" Michael's brows furrow confusedly. "For what?"

"Well you see...."

You explain, and upon seeing Michael's darkening expression, you nearly gulped.

Raphael sighed in annoyance. The strange man had booked it and ran away, leaving him with the cherub, he stiffens slightly as he meets her big hazel eyes.

"...Hello."

"Hi! I know you! You're Raphael!"

Raphael nods. "Yes I am."

The cherub grins, her chubby cheeks making her eyes crinkle slightly. "I'm Evangeline! But I can't spell that so I just write Eva!"

The Archangel nods awkwardly, attempting to smile at the child. "Well that's great, Evangeline....I need to get back to the Celestial Palace...." The man says and begins walking, the child starts walking with him.

"That's fun! Do you always have spears with you?"

"Yes." Raphael answers disjointedly.

"Wow! I always wanted to hold a spear! Can I hold your spear Mr Raphael?"

"That would be dangerous, Evangeline." He answers awkwardly.

The child pouts. "Aw, okay!"

A moment of silence.

The cherub tugs on his trouser leg. "How come your hair's all grey?"

"It just is, I guess."

"But why?"

"God made me that way I suppose." He replies awkwardly.

"Okay!" Evangeline grinned. "God made me with weird eyes! Sometimes they look more green or more brown!"

Raphael blinks, this child was almost as socially inept as Michael. "That's because your eyes are hazel."

This was going to be a long walk.

Michael glares at you, straightening his shoulders to make them seem broader, and even with the mess of paper stuck to his skin and face, he still looks threatening.

As unusually serious as you'd ever seen him, it almost hurts to keep his gaze.

He's stopped his arts and crafts and instead focuses all of his attention on you. "I'm going to need you to repeat that, MC."

You audibly gulp.

Lucifer sighs from where he's seated in the student council room. The paperwork feeling more suffocating than usual. Almost as if someone had taped over his mouth and nose very badly. The door creaks open and he looks up to see Mammon.

The Avatar of Greed looks around the room before cursing and turning to walk out again.

"Mammon."

"Oh hiya Lucifer!" Mammon says, looking disgruntled.

"What are you doing." Lucifer sighs, knowing better than to frame it as a question.

"Lookin' for MC. Can't find'er anywhere...."

The first born sits up straighter, something flashing in his ruby eyes. "You can't find MC?"

"Nope. And I've checked ev'rywhere! Even the fuckin' attic. I asked Beel but he said he hasn' saw'er since this mornin'."

Lucifer feels something swirl in his chest. "I'll ask Diavolo."

"Thanks...Me and Beel are teamin' up and lookin' around the classrooms."

Lucifer pinches his hooked nose.

Diavolo sits in the meeting room of the palace, a man of granduer sits across from him. Long silvery hair frames his timeworn face, a well groomed beard grows from his face, as he enjoys a cup of Barbatos' tea.

Diavolo's brows furrow. "I just don't see us being able to do anything about it without potentially hurting our already strained relationship with the Human Realm."

The man nods, glancing down at his coarse hands with his one eye. He speaks with a Scandinavian accent. "Those were our thoughts as well. Killing him could be a bad diplomatic move."

The Demon Prince nods gravely to the God. "I heard from my meeting with Helios that this mortal journeyed into realms unknown and came out...different."

Odin scratches his chin in thought. "I say we find a way to trap him." He closes his eye. "I do believe this figure was spotted outside of the Celestial Realm."

Diavolo nods seriously, a small grin on his face. "Well at least we know the general area he's in."

"But you and I both know we can't kill him without the high possibility of it backfiring on us." The Revered warrior attests.

Diavolo nods in agreement before a knock on the door is heard. The Demon Prince stands up, excusing himself to open the door, revealling a frazzled Lucifer.

"Oh hello Lucifer, what's the matter?"

"I apologise for interrupting Lord Diavolo but have you seen MC? We believe she's gone missing..."

Diavolo's eyes widen in worry. "No, have you tried calling her?"

Lucifer shakes his head, Odin regards the scene with vague interest. "Goes to voicemail, she isn't receiving our texts either."

Diavolo sitffens.

"If I may interject, MC is the human-turned-angel who managed to keep her pacts even after her rebirth?" The Norse God asks.

Lucifer nods.

"Well then, she's in the Celestial Realm right now with Archangel Michael."

"Thank you. Thank you." The Avatar of Pride says breathlessly. Youre safe, possibly scheming, but you're safe. "How did you know that?"

Odin points to his eye, or lack thereof.

"Oh right...wisdom..." Lucifer blinks, the adrenaline wearing off making it easier to think straight and also feel shame. "Well thank you Odin and Diavolo. I apologise for interrupting."

Diavolo grins. "It's never an interruption if it's about MC's safety."

Lucifer leaves, shutting the door gently behind him, Diavolo and the Mighty Odin continue their discussion.

Speaking of your safety, you're not exactly feeling very safe right now. You should make a wikihow article called 'How to Turn Archangel Michael into a Feral Beast in Literally One Sentence!'

Said Archangel has his narrowed eyes on you. "Lucifer is my baby brother...."

"He's thousands of years old if you think about it." You smile awkwardly.

"Still just a baby."

"He's the Avatar of Pride! LIterally the Demon Prince's Righthand man!"

"And that's a great preschool activity." Michael huffs.

You sigh, looking down at the spear currently being pointed at you neck. Michael makes a sound akin to a snarl. "Look MC. I know that Lucifer is his own person. I know that even though he's still an edgy little teenager slash toddler in my eyes he is technically an adult. But he's still my baby brother."

The Archangel lowers his spear, turning around, golden coils bouncing as he does so, almost deflating with him. "He's just....those two minutes spent without him were the hardest two minutes of my life...except of course the multiple minutes in the Great Celestial War."

You walk closer to Feral Michael, who turns back around to face you, a fire in the crimson eyes he shares with his twin brother. "I know he's all grown up now, but he's still my baby brother, and I know that you're one of my closest friends MC."

He closes the distance between you, cornering you into a tree. Face stony and grave. "But so help me God, if you ever do anything to hurt him....and I don't mean having a simple argument or whatever...If you ever truly do something to hurt him...you're going to wish there was a realm out there that could shield you from me."

He pauses, moving away from you and grinning his usually playful grin. "Are we understood."

He wasn't asking.

"Yes. Very understood." You nod. "I would never hurt Luci like that....ever...."

The blond pulls one of his golden curls so it stretches completely straight before letting go and watching it coil back up again. "Well....I'm sorry I went all...like that on you...big brother instincts?"

You shrug. "Reminds me of Lucifer that one time this witch genuinely threatened Mammon with a grimoire. That shit was brutal."

"Must've been." Michael whistles. "So...have you decided how you're going to do it?"

"Well sort of...but I was hoping you'd help me shop for the ring?"

Michael's grin widens.

Derek Wisconsin made it away just barely with his life. He had almost convinced that little girl to let him into the Celestial Realm! He really almost did! But then that Seraph (or was he an Archangel?) guy Raphael just had to stop him!

He pants, beads of sweat running down his forehead. Taking off his Chicago Cubs cap and sighing in relief at the feeling of a free bald buzzcut head.

Derek groans, peeling off sunburnt skin while the door creaks open. He never should've went to somewhere as sunny as the Celestial Realm without putting sunscreen on first.

Derek might've been one millionth-gazillionth italian but he definitely did not tan like one. When he was in the sun he burned more than a petrol fire on a hot summer's day. There must be ginger genes in him somewhere.

"Derek. You need to stop this. All of this attempted destruction of the afterlife....it's...it's not right Derek." A voice sounds behind him. Another man, with an identical buzzcut and baseball hat, except this man had glasses.

"Shut up Eric." Derek grunts. "I'm doing what has to be done so the cubs win every match they play."

"You're doing this for baseball?" Eric asks, adjusting his glasses further up his nose.

"Baseball is our life Eric."

"No. Baseball is your life, Derek. I like ice hockey better and you know it!" Eric bites his bottom lip, arms crossed over his chest as he looks at his friend.

"That's just because you're half Canadian." Derek scoffs. "Go listen to Justin Beiber you race traitor."

"American isn't a race, Derek."

Eric looks at his friend, before taking off his hat. "You can have your spare fucking hat back, Derek." The half Canadian reaches the door before turning around. "Oh and by the way, Justin Beiber fucking sucks. Canadians don't claim him."

The door slams shut.

Derek is left in silence.

Evangeline giggles, climbing around Raphaels shoulders, he winces and brings up an uncertain hand to stabilise her. With one leg on each shoulder and Raphael holding both of her legs for stability the little angel cheers.

"Wow! I'm so high up! I'm so high up! Do ya see me?!"

"Yes....I see you." The angel nods slowly, continuing his now very delayed walk to the Celestial Palace.

"I love being up high! I can't wait till my wings grow some more and then I can fly!"

"..I'm sure you'll be a good flyer." The ashy haired angel grunts out awkwardly.

"Yay!"

Forget almost dying in the Great Celestial War, this was the scariest moment of his life.

You blink at Michael's retracting form. He sat you down on a bench and gave you crayons and a colouring book, before telling you to wait on him finishing this meeting about that one guy Derek.

You sigh and begin colouring in a picture of a clown and making it Michael. Fuck that guy, you're not a kid!

Upon hearing footsteps you look up. "Oh hey Raphael! Who's the kid?"

"I'm Evangeline!" The cherub grins fidgeting and manuevering herself off of Raphael's shoulders and waddling up to you. "Who are you?"

"I'm MC, I'm Raphael's friend!" You smile at the child. Raphael gives you a grateful look. You never knew he could be that expressive.

"Me too! I'm Mr. Raphael's bestest ever friend!" The girl grins excitedly, swinging while standing, going back and forth to leaning on her heels then to leaning on her tiptoes.

"Well! I'm happy to hear that Evangeline! Would you like to do some colouring in?"

"Yes please!"

Raphael sits beside you, feeling the need to worship the ground you walk on. His ordeal of dealing with a child is over.

After a very enlightening zoom call meeting and bidding goodbye to Odin. Diavolo calls a very spooky number.

The phone is answered a crackly voice speaks through it.

"I need your help. We know where Derek is staying but as Gods, Angels and Demons....we can't kill him...but you can."

A chuckle crackles through the phone speaker. "Send me his Location. I'll see what I can do."

[A Week or So Later....]

Derek wipes the sweat off of his brow as he begins his operation. Making bombs that aren't molotov cocktails is very difficult, thank god for Wikihow.

Unfortunately setting them down strategically in order to blow up the Celestial Realm is quite difficult.

"You seem to be having some troubles with that." A voice cuts through the silence.

"Oh yeah I am-" Derek begins before turning around and staring wide-eyed at the ivory-haired intruder like a deer in headlights. He immediately stands up. "Who are you?"

"The name's Solomon." The sorcerer gives the man a closed mouth smile. "Normally I don't interfere with the business of the Celestial Realm...but seeing as they asked, and a very close friend of mine is an angel, and also seeing as I think baseball is largely pointless...I don't think it's a very logical gameplan to let you live..."

Derek splutters. "Y-you can't!"

Solomon opens his eyes, something unreasonable in those ocean blue irises. "Oh but I can!" He grins. "It's one thing to try and destroy things, it's another to attempt to blow up multiple plains of existence with bombs you made using a WIkihow tutorial just because of baseball."

"I-...I just!" Derek backs away, Solomon follows, absentmindedly using magic to disable every bomb.

"You just what? We know you're from Illinois, but have some sense Derek." Solomon shakes his head. "You are the worst stereotype of Americans I've ever seen. I looked into your file. Your surname is literally Wisconsin."

Derek grunts. "You don't understand my passion. I'll kill everyone for those baseballers."

"You've killed several people after highjacking a bus in the Human Realm. You're a danger to yourself and others. Plus you've one too many jokes about teenage girls 'doing it better'. Bye bye Derek." Solomon gives him another closed eye smile, humming over the screaming and the sound of crackling flames.

When all is done and gone, the sorcerer takes out his DDD, alerting the others that it's been taken care of.

[Yet another Week Later...]

A flash of celestial light bounces off of every wall and surface in your room. You yelp, ivory wings and golden halo jutting out in your startledness. Did you do this? No. You couldn't have. Maybe subconsciously..? How were you going to explain a flash of celestial light to Lucifer? He was going to kill you! Maybe not kill just yet seeing how he reacted the first time you died. But! You were an angel now, which meant no more fragile human body, which meant Lucifer would hypothetically have no qualms stringing you up! Oh God this was it wasn´t it? You were going to-

The light dims, clearing completely, a silhouette appears in its wake. Phew! Guess it wasn't you nearly exorcising everyone in the House of Lamentation then. (Even though it wouldn't exorcise anyone anyway seeing as that wasn't how demons worked. But hey, you were disoriented.) Your relief was short lived, seeing as there was actually someone in your room.

You grab your lamp and hold it up like its a baseball bat. You were prepared to swing, what you weren't prepared for however; was the figure racing towards you. You screech as you're pulled into a bone-crushing hug. Your grip on the lamp relaxes and so do you when you realise just who it is.

"Michael?! What the fuck are you doing here?!" You hiss. "You scared the life out of me!"

Michael loosens his grip, his signature grin on his handsome face, crimson eyes shining. "I don't think you'd die that easily a second time. And besides, I have actual proper serious business this time."

You step out of the hug. Giving him an indignant look as he gets distracted with your room, he walks to your wall, stepping over the bag he brought with him and begins making what can only be described as his 'Lucifer Impression' in your mirror, which was essentially him scrunching up his face so he looked constipated then waggling his ring adorned finger in disapproval.

"You're here for serious reasons. You?"

"Well you didn't have to say it like that." Michael remarked, turning around to face you so fast you get whiplash, so does Michael apparently. His golden curls had been done up in intricate braids, with rose gold braiding rope helping to keep half of it up and away from his face, he'd added jewels and gems in charms hanging from the braids themselves, a fact he seemed to have forgotten until, with the force and speed he twisted his head at, his hair swung back and then forward again, hitting him right square in the mouth. You snorted.

He glares at you. "Don't laugh! Do you know how long I had to sit still for to get these?! 12 hours! I am so lucky I'm not tender-headed!"

"Holy fuck?! 12 hours?! And now they're attempting to assassinate you." You nod dutifully, "Atleast they're pretty."

"Pretty is the least they could be. Especially when Raphael almost poked my eye out when he was measuring the braiding rope. So not only is my hair trying to assassinate me, so is Raphael!" Michael said, sitting on your bed cross-legged, smoothing out the non-existent wrinkles in his white gold accented blazer suit that looked suspiciously similar to Lucifer's. Damn twins.

You paused. "Raphael does your hair?"

Michael smiles, "Oh yeah! It's his secret hobby! So don't tell anyone!" The Archangel closes his eyes, as if imagining an era long passed. "He saw me and Lucikins trying to do Lilith's hair once and was sold."

You don't comment on the dopey expression. Michael continues. "Raphael never liked playing most games. He's like Lucikins in that way. They both think they're so grown up....He was normally with Simeon writing their little short stories together, seeing as they're both the nerdiests nerds of all the nerds...but he did see the end result of me and Luci braiding flowers into Lilith's hair...we did it with Asmo too, to cheer him after he nearly fell through a cloud. Cue the next day, Raphael asking to do my hair. Being the amazing big brother I was- I accepted!" Michael makes a face. "I think that was the first time I felt true fear."

You laughed evilly. "I should do your hair sometime."

The way Michael looks at you is akin to a deer in headlights. "Absolutely not. One adorable maniac obsessed with spears doing my hair is enough for me thank you very much. I do not need two."

"What if Luke asked?" You tilt your head.

"Jokes on you MC! Luke already likes to do my hair! He puts clips and flowers and bows and all in it!" Michael sticks out his tongue.

"Oh I cannot wait to see that." You grin.

Michael gives you another look, with his ruby red eyes looking so disapprovingly, the resemblance between his younger brother, (by two whole minutes!; he'd add gloatingly at any other time) is uncanny.

You put your hands up defensively. Deciding changing the topic would be a good idea seeing as you would like to not die a second time, (technically a third if you count Belphie.) so, you tilt your head. "You never told me what you were actually doing here."

"Oh yeah!" Michael nods. "Thanks for reminding me." He moves to grab the bag from the center of the room where he appeared. You forgot about that bag.

"Michael I swear to God if you've put a live pigeon in there I'm going to scream." You whisper frightendly.

The Archangel arks his head up to you in a flash, wincing when a braid hits him across the mouth again. He raises an eyebrow. "No? Why would I have a pigeon?"

You sigh in relief. "I had a dream last night that Pigeons caused the Second Coming of Christ."

Michael chuckled. "Second Coming of Christ doesn't exist, MC. I just got bored while John of Patmos was writing the Book of Revelation. Thought it'd be nice to set up for a sequel."

You blink. "How are you not a demon?"

"I dunno. Didn't really feel like it at the time. The lack of sunlight in the Devildom makes me depressed. Plus I'd rather not take vitamin D pills, it seems like so much work." Michael shrugged.

Made sense. "So what's in the bag?"

Michael grins excitedly, if he had a tail it would be wagging like a helicopter and knocking everything in your room that wasn't nailed to the surfaces down. "Well! My most amazingest underling! Can you tell me what date it is?"

"June 5th?"

"Which as you know, is the eve of the best and worst day in history."

You raise a brow. "Best and worst?"

"Best because it's the day I was born, worst because 2 minutes later my lovely adorable little baby brother was born." He laughs.

"If Lucifer ever heard you calling him your lovely adorable little baby brother I think he'd start a war."

"How do you think the War of the Bucket started?"

"Excuse me?"

Michael doesn't answer any of your questions, and instead chooses to finally show what's in the bag. A gnome.

Not just any gnome oh no. One that looked suspiciously like it was made by the same person who made the suspiciously bad looking gnome that looked like Michael that Mammon would hide the spare key to the backdoor of the House of Lamentation behind.

This one however did not have Michael's dark skin, or the horrible neon yellow hair painted on. Oh no, this one had pale skin, another DnD-esque cape on, except with the vampire looking collar, it had black hair with shiny metalic silver streaks in it. So that was the gnome Michael was torturing.

You hold back your laughter. "...Why?..."

"It's a birthday gift MC, you know? the things people give to other people on their birthdays? I mean you look a bit dim, you might not've heard of it."

"Did you-" You try to hold back your cackling. "Did you use clay-" You nearly double over, suddenly your knees feel quite weak. "Did you use clay to...-make Lucifer's ears...-massive?-"

"Why yes I did, and thank you for noticing!"

"Kind of hard not to notice them."

Michael grins, "Wanna help me sneak it into his office?"

You perk up. "Do I ever?!"

Lucifer always finds himself quite melancholy on his birthday. Somehow the date always enjoys to remind him of his first brother. Not that he doesn't miss the idiots he lives with now. If he looks at Satan attempting to annoy him every waking hour in enough of a squint, it almost feels as if Michael is in the Devildom.

Speaking of; it really feels like Michael is in the Devildom today.

Lucifer shrugs it off. As it was his birthday he allowed himself a lie-in. Barbatos had eased his workload for the surrounding week, something Lucifer was quite grateful of.

Sighing, he walked slowly from the kitchen, coffee cup in hand; he might as well get his paperwork done now so he can spend the rest of the day with his loved ones before maybe he'd let Cerberus out of the underground tomb and into his room to sit by him whilst he listened to cursed records and enjoyed a finely aged bottle of demonus. (Not that Cerberus was a pet! Or that he was pampered! He was purely a guard dog! Stop suggesting otherwise Simeon, Barbatos, Diavolo and probably even Michael! Lucifer was not soft!)

The planning of what was essentially his day off was just prolonged enough that he was snapped out of his thoughts once he reached the door to his office.

Upon opening it, he wished he hadnt.

Atop his desk sits the most blasphemous rendition of him he's ever seen, that's including every lifetime christian movie that thinks he and Satan are the same person.

The gnome wasn't hand crafted but it was certainty hand-edited. It was an ugly thing, though, the more Lucifer looked at it, the more innocently charming it became, but in an ugly way.

He'd place it beside the Michael Gnome tonight, at least the ugly blasphemous gnome version of himself could be with his ugly blasphemous twin's gnome version of himself.

As he went to move it off of his desk, he noticed the note attached to the gnome's leg.

To my adorable little baby brother,

Lucifer's eye twitched. Had Michael still not learnt to call him that? Even after the War of the Bucket?! Even after the Emu War?! He was going to rip that Angel's head clean off.

You're so lucky to share a birthday with me! How unfortunate you were a late show, tut tut tut. Should've been born quicker, Lucikins. :o

Lucifer's wings and horns popped out. 'Lucikins?' That nickname again? Oh, Michael was a dead man.

I know you'll love my present. The gnome looks just like you! Though sadly, I ran out of clay so I couldn't make the ears any bigger.

Unconsciously, Lucifer reached up to cover his ears, but caught himself. Damned Michael! Their ears are literally the same size! He takes a deep breath.

Anyway, happy birthday my adorable, squishy cheeked, starry eyed, little baby brother! Maybe one day you'll grow up to be big and strong just like your big bro! Lots of Love to my baby brother: Michael xoxo

Lucifer felt rage course through his body at such a rate, he had to turn around to make sure he didn't pop out another Satan. Thank Diavolo he didn't. If he did, Michael was taking them home.

Fine. If Michael wanted to hide in the Devildom, call his ears big, and then insist that Lucifer was his 'baby brother' despite the fact he was barely even two minutes older!--then Lucifer wasn't going to sit idly by.

He takes his DDD out of his pocket. Cue the dramatic music.

"Hello, Luke? Can you pass the phone to Simeon please? Yes Thank you." Lucifer pauses, hearing rustling and then finally Simeon's voice on the other end of the DDD. "Hello Simeon. How would you like to travel with me to the Celestial Realm, I fear I haven't been in a while."

Simeon pauses. "...Why?..."

Lucifer swallows thickly, a smirk overtaking his features. "I'm planning on paying Michael a visit."

"He gave you another gnome didn't he?"

"...Okay. Goodbye Simeon."

"No way...He did!"

"Goodbye Simeon." By the time Lucifer hangs up, he can hear the angel laughing on the other end of the phone.

The Avatar of Pride sits down on his chair, covering his face in his hands he grinned. Oh he is so going to enjoy getting Michael back for this one.

And hey, if a few garden flamingos with golden wigs and DnD-esque capes are sighted around the celestial realm later on today. What a coincidence!

Lucifer chuckles heartily. He missed this.

Just as the Avatar of pride is resting, a knock sounds on his door.

"Come in." He sighs, eyes lighting up slightly when he sees that it's you. "Oh hello, Dearest."

You approach his desk, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, smiling slightly when you feel his face heat up. "Happy birthday Luci...wanna come on a walk with me?"

"Sure. Let me grab my coat."

And so it goes.

After about twenty minutes of walking through the park hand in hand with Lucifer, you stop at a fountain. "Woah is that fish in there?"

"Hmm?" Lucifer looks over to you.

"Luci can you see fish in the fountain? I think my mind is playing tricks on me..."

Lucifer raises a brow, but always willing to please you, he looks into the fountain, some strands of ebony hair falling over his face at the movement.

"There aren't any fish, MC...I think you might need sleep-" Lucifer drawls as he begins to turn around to face you. Stopping abruptly when he sees you down on one knee, a ring in your hand.

"MC..." He says breathlessly, heart thumping out of his chest.

"Lucifer, the Morningstar, the Avatar of Pride...will you make me the happiest being in all three realms and marry me?"

"MC...I-...You...-...Yes, I'd carve the word into my flesh if I had to..."

You grin, tears welling up in your eyes as you take off Lucifer's glove and slide the ring onto his finger. He helps you up and pulls you into his arms. Face buried into your neck.

"This will mean that you're mine...just like our pact..." He smiles into your collarbone, placing small kisses here and there.

You laugh. "Sure, Luci sure."

Two lovers hold each other in a gentle embrace, witnessed only by themselves and the moon. No granduer, no dramatic announcement, just lying about fish in a fountain.

i cant write proposals BUT as a special birthday bonus: the gnomes.

i was originally just gonna do lucifer but they're twins so I had to do both of them.

in the original fic with the michael gnome i said he had neon hair but i have no idea how to neonify hair and am not an artist so L, have cursed gnomes.

as you can see i can colour inside the lines. and also i hate the fill tool.

before we start:

yes i am posting this on the 5th and i do know that Luci's birthday is the 6th, but i got this done early and have the patience of a child on christmas😔✊

yes derek and eric are dumb stereotypes. everyday im amazed that baseball is literally just rounders with a different name and more theatrics. anyway, i enjoy writing americans the way americans write us. i picked illinois because thats the first state that popped into my head, and also its easy to spell so.

im friends with like three people from canada and im scared of all of them.

anyway grma for reading and i promise the next fic i do for someones birthday i will actually include them in it more.😔✊<3

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

daisy, chapter eight

A/N: i have no words... just, uuurrrgghhh, steve's ginormous dick. I need it like oxygen. everywhere. please.

summary: “Steve, there isn’t much I wouldn’t do right now in order to fall asleep, so yes, if you so strongly believe that you can make me doze off, then go right ahead, do your worst.”

warnings: private school!reader, perv!steve, smut, kissing, size kink, dirty talk, fingering, oral, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, anal (this is just a fantasy where we say prep isn't a thing. shut up, let me be a slut and forget about the unglamorous reality. also its just incredibly unrealistic for it to be the first time, but again, this is just porn), dp, creampie, multiple orgasms, squirting, crying during sex, some manhandling, spanking, pussy slaps, borderline cockwarming

word count: 4202

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“Hello?”

“Steve?” you murmured into the telephone.

“Ace? What is it, is something wrong?”

His alarm instantly made you feel a bit silly for bugging him this late at night, “it’s nothing, I just-…”

But he quickly jumped in, “what?” determined to know, “what is it, baby?”

“No, it’s stupid,” you exhaled and bowed your head, looking down at your nightgown, “just forget I called.”

“Ace, come on,” he poked again before you got the chance to hang up, “what is it?”

Letting out a deep sigh, you confessed, “I can’t sleep. My head won’t shut off and I just remembered you telling me to call you whenever I had a night like this so that I wouldn’t have to be alone, but now I feel really stupid, god, you were probably asleep-”

“I wasn’t, promise,” he softly interrupted your troubled babbling, “you did the right thing here.”

“Yeah?” you noticed how your teeth unconsciously gnawed at the corner of your lip. 

“Yeah, you did. Just sit tight, okay? I’ll be over there in a bit.”

The soft clicking sounds of pebbles being thrown at your bedroom window quickly caught your attention and made you jolt out of bed.

Opening it up, you looked out and spotted Steve at the bottom, surrounded by garden gnomes and messy flowerbeds, slowly lowering another rock as he saw you appear.

“Steve,” you chuckled, furrowing your brow, “what are you doing?”

But a hushed, “I’m coming up,” was all he gave as an explanation before beginning to climb the overgrown trellis. 

“What?” you exclaimed, scrambling for a reason why he would suddenly pull a Romeo, but before you managed to solve the mystery, he tumbled in through the open window. “You know we have a front door, right?”

Straightening back up, he briefly brushed off his jeans, “yeah, but your mom-”

“-has switched her night shift to be on Thursdays, so I’ve got the house all to myself.”

“Oh… well, now I feel a little silly doing the whole Rapunzel routine.”

“Not as silly as I do,” you groaned lightly, throwing yourself back upon the untidy bed, “I can’t believe you actually came all the way over here just because I couldn’t sleep.” 

“I can’t believe you didn’t call me sooner,” he shrugged off his jacket and joined you on the mattress, “is it the test tomorrow that’s keeping you up?”

“No,” you huffed, even if you still felt the nerves of it gnawing at you, it still wasn’t what was keeping you awake. 

“Then what is it, huh?” he gently fixed the part of your hair that all the tossing and turning had messed up, “you know you can tell me no matter what it is.”

“Yeah, I know I can, I just don’t know what it is,” you kept your vision fixed on your lap, avoiding his soft gaze entirely as you lied through your teeth. 

“No?”

“Yeah, all I know is that I’ve been trying now for I don’t even know how many hours and every time I turn off the lights and lay down, my head starts spiralling and I just know I won’t get even a minute of sleep and then I’ll be sleepwalking tomorrow and fail my test and I can’t do that, I’m already doing terrible in that subject and this test was my chance to get back on top, to fix it all and now it’s all just ruined!” your panic came to a deafening silence before you uttered desperately, “…I need to fall asleep, Steve.” 

“Well, it’s not that late yet, you’ll probably still fall asleep.”

“No, it’s late for me and you know it! I always go to bed super early so that I can get up before the sun does so that I have time to do everything and still not miss the bus. I have a set routine, a way that I do things and my head is fucking it all up!”

“Would it really be so bad if you slept in just this one time?”

“Yes! Then I wouldn’t have the time I set off in the morning to get ahead on homework so that the weekends can just be for extra credit stuff and also go over everything that’s on the curriculum for the day, oh, and did I mention the bus? Because it leaves really early, and it only drives once every two hours so if I miss that one I might as well just miss the entire day!” 

Letting your panic simmer, he slowly exhaled and proclaimed, “okay,” forcing your eyes to meet his, “so, here’s my pitch,” he grabbed both your hands in his and said, “you’re gonna both get enough sleep and be there tomorrow to ace that test.”

“How?” you huffed. 

“You’re gonna sleep in tomorrow till the very last second and then when I wake you, you just have to hop in that cute little outfit and get down in the car with me. I’ll make you a PB&J for the road and you can go over all the school stuff with me in the car. But first, you are gonna fall asleep,” he promised. 

“And just how do you know that? Are you gonna suggest that I drink some warm milk? Because I’ve already tried that,” a small chuckle tumbled out of your frustration. 

“No, ace,” he joined in as well for a bit, though still staring at you intensely, “I’m not gonna tell you to drink some milk.”

“Then what?” you tapped your thumb against the back of his hand, poking one of the prominent veins. 

Calmly asking, his voice dripped with earnestness, “do you trust me?” 

“Um,” you giggle, glancing up at him with a puzzled expression, “what?”

Simply smiling at you in return, he repeated, “ace, do you trust me?”

His gaze was so intense that you promptly rolled your shoulders back from the shiver that whooshed down your spine, “y-yeah, yeah I trust you.”

“Good.”

“Why do I need to trust you?” you giggled as he leaned in to give you a kiss, “what are you gonna do?”

His nose just ever so slightly ghosting against your own, he breathed out, “I’m gonna tire you out, baby.”

Biting down on your smile, you sniggered in an almost condescending way, “you are?”

“Yeah, I am,” you felt one of his hands let go of yours before disappearing under the hem of your baby blue nightgown. 

“You sound awfully confident of that,” you smiled as he denied you the pleasure of kissing your lips, only to dip down and plant soft pecks all along your neck. 

“Ace, I’m gonna ask you one more time,” his lips brushed against your exposed collarbone, “do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

“And are you gonna let me do whatever I need to do in order to help shut that big, beautiful brain of yours off and make you fall asleep?” his fingertips found the edge of your underwear and began playing with the hem. 

“Yes,” your eyelids fluttered. 

“Whatever I want?” he hooked a finger in at the top and gave your panties a harsh tug, causing the gusset to dig into your buzzing folds. 

“Steve,” with both hands on either side of his face, you pulled him up for him to be at your level, “there isn’t much I wouldn’t do right now in order to fall asleep, so yes, if you so strongly believe that you can make me doze off, then go right ahead, do your worst.”

Your consensus caused a bright grin to crinkle up his handsome features, then swiftly seized your lips with his own. Gasping against his tongue, you felt him give the little fabric between your legs another cruel yank.

Tugging at his clothes, you quickly helped rid his body of everything but his boxers, the tent in them already so palpable that it looked as if it could spring free at any moment, just a small gust of wind and everything would be on display. 

Yelping as he suddenly ended the kiss by nonchalantly tossing you into the mountain of pillows and teddy bears at the head of your bed, as if you were just another stuffed animal that needed to sit among the others. Positioning himself on his knees, he swiftly yanked your hips down towards his face, burying his nose in the wet spot on your now evidently tinier than usual panties. 

“I don’t remember seeing these before,” his fingers pulled at the crotch, making your new thong snap back into place, “when did you start wearing this kind?”

“Just bought them last weekend,” you slowly propped yourself up on your elbows, “you like them?”

“Mm,” he hummed, flipping up your short nightie even more and pulling his head back so that he could take it all in, “fucking love them,” as his hand then swiftly came down upon them, giving your barely covered folds a small slap. 

Playing with the fabric for far too long to be considered kind, pulling and tugging at it, watching you squirm as he tugged harder on the wedgie, he then definitively became more enamoured with the mess below them and pulled the gusset to the side. 

“Shit, would you look at that,” his thumb came up to part your folds, “so fucking perfect the way she’s crying out for me like that, begging for me to fill her up,” he leaned down to give your clit a kiss.

Bucking your hips up in search of more, your arms then treated to give out from under you as he actually gave you what you desired, wrapping his lips around your swollen pearl, and slurping like it was a piece of hard candy. 

Gazing down at him, the small whimpers quickly turned into a needy moan as his dark eyes found yours, staring intensely as he devoured your pussy like a starved beast. Dipping down lower, lapping at your slit, he then briefly traced your leaking little hole before indulgently plunging his tongue into it, his eyes crinkling up in pleasure as he saw how your eyebrows knit together in return. 

Picking your legs up, bending them and guiding them up beside your torso, you then felt his palms sneak under your butt and lift you up closer to his face. Letting your head fall back down atop the pillows, you reached a hand up, planting it against the headboard, both in support, but also in preparation just in case one of these moves should cause your skull to collide with it. 

Your eyes lulled closed, letting yourself sink into the rippling pleasure that he quickly overflowed your body with, though they swiftly snapped open once more as you unexpectedly felt his tongue hungrily lap at a very different hole than the one you had let him pop. 

“Steve, what are you-“ 

Arms cradling your hips, he pulled back just enough to answer you brazenly, “you said whatever I want, right?”

“Yeah,” his breath fanning across your wetness made you shiver. 

“You still gonna let me help you?” he turned his head to kiss your thigh. 

That part you didn’t have to think twice about, “yes, but why are you touching me there?”

“Ace, do you not want me to touch you here?” one of his long arms snaked around you even further, a hand cupping your pussy and his longest finger coming down to swirl the little button in question.  

Inhaling sharply, your lips parted as he gently tickled your untouched hole, all the while gazing softly up at you, “no, you’ve just never-…” 

“I’ve never played with your tight little ass before?” he cocked an eyebrow and smirked, “no, I guess haven’t. But fuck if I haven’t thought about it…” he slid his fingers up to rub your clit.

“Y-you’ve thought about it?” 

“Yes,” he answered earnestly, “you haven’t?” 

“No, it never even crossed my mind as a possibility…”

“You serious?” you felt your thighs begin to shake as his whole palm started rubbing against your poor little clit, drawing you closer and closer to the edge. 

“Well, I know that it's anatomically possible,” you struggled to get the words out, “but I just never thought about it.”

“Oh, baby, it's very much possible…” he smirked, replacing his hand with his lips, sucking down harshly as his slick fingers wandered down to tease your puckered little hole.

Now that the thought of letting him ruin all your holes finally did cross your mind, you couldn’t ignore the way it made you feel like a puddle right at his feet.

Eyes still fixed upon you, you felt his finger press against your hole, the tip just barely breaching the entrance, but still giving you enough of a taste for you to let out a fierce gasp that he quickly bit down upon, “you like that?” 

Your face was burning up as you timidly nodded, “mhm.” 

“Yeah, you do?” he poked just the essence of his finger inside you, “you finally gonna let me fuck this little hole, huh?” 

You felt like you couldn’t look, yet still managed to choke out, “I-, um, o-okay, yeah.”

He sensed your nerves and slowly retracted his hand, instead opting to grab a handful off your ass, adjusting his grip and lifting you back up against his adoring tongue. 

A minute later, after nearly squashing his head between shaky thighs from the orgasm that he drank out of you, he impatiently ripped your flimsy garbs off, exposing you completely as you came down from your first high. 

After a moment of soft kisses and nips along your waist, his fingers just lightly tweaking at your nipples to shepherd you back to life, when your eyes again blinked open and locked with his blown-out pupils, what he did next made you skreich out in surprise, though your laughter was impossible to miss. 

Flipping you around, holding onto you tight until you found your footing on your hands and knees, you giggled, “you know, you could just ask, and I’ll move into whatever position you want me in.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” you felt his lips attack your shoulder as his fingers again found your cunt. Plunging his fingers into your quivering hole once, twice, and before he could play anymore, you reached back and clawed at the corner of his boxer your fingers could grasp. “You know, you could just ask,” he copied with a smile as his cock sprang free. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” you mimicked as you felt him nudge his dick against your petals, essentially just resting it against you as this position made his length hug against the curve of your body like a magnet, the tip kissing your belly button. 

Catching him off guard, probably as he was about to do something entirely different, he managed to linger at a spot long enough for you to seize the opportunity and back up, angling your hips just right for your pussy to swallow the bulbous head, smiling as a strangled moan escaped Steve’s lips. 

“You know,” he wrapped his arms around your body, cradling each jiggly tit in his hands and rested his chin on your goosebump-covered shoulder, “I still can’t believe I got to be the one to pop your cherry,” he emphasized with a sharp snap of his hips, filling you up completely, “have to pinch myself every day.”

“What else are best friends for?” you joked, earning a thrust that shook you to the very core, tip bumping against your cervix so cruelly that your limbs almost gave out. 

“Remember when I could barely even fit the tip in you?” the memory caused you to let out a needy whine and nod your head, “yeah, I made it fit though, didn’t I? Made you fit me perfectly.”

Straightening back up, his big hands slid over your body till they came to rest on either side of your hips, occasionally palming a cheek, spreading you more for his own viewing pleasure. The toe-curling sensation of when his palm began to come down upon your ass had been the last straw for your hands to give out from under you, making you drop down onto your forearms and fall face-first into a stuffed animal. 

Smooching your cheek down deeper into the plush below, you felt a line of drool start to trickle down from the corner of your lip and onto mister fuzzy’s fur. 

The room was filled with a symphony of yours and his needy moans, your embarrassingly wet pussy slobbering all over his dick and the melody of skin against skin clapping rhythmically as he ruthlessly hammered into you. 

With another slap to your reddened ass, his palm stayed on your skin, fondling to his heart's content till you felt his thumb mosey in between your cheeks, causing your breath to hitch as he came to circle your little rosebud.

Letting a droplet of saliva drop down from his groaning lips and onto your crack, he stopped the racing bead with his finger and asked, “when are you gonna let me in here, huh?” he slowly sank his thumb inside of you, plugging up both of your holes, “don’t you want to feel your best friend’s big fat cock up your ass? Stretch out this pretty little hole and split you open? You gonna let me in tonight, ace?”

Face down amidst the pillows and ass all the way up in the air, you slurred, “I-, fuck, yeah, yes,” turning your head more, you glanced up at his looming shadow and managed to say, “I trust you, remember?” 

“God, I love you so much.”

“I l-love you too, Steve,” you whined and hid your face again, now noticing just how hard you were shaking, body trembling like a leaf under him. You nearly let out a scream when his heavy sack once again slapped against your puffy clit, and an incredibly intense wave washed over you.  

“Shit, baby,” he then pointed out what had completely flown over your own head, “keep squirting on my cock just like that. Fucking soak me, ace.” 

And after a murmured announcement, his movements then became more disjointed as he spilt himself deep within your dripping cunt. Feeling him bury his face into your shoulder, he never fully stopped, just kept going, sluggishly fucking his cum into your sensitive hole. 

It didn’t take long for your body to give out completely, though his firm grip on your hips still kept you somewhat off the soaked mattress, slowly and desperately lifting your body back up and fucking himself like you were a toy. 

“H-how-,” you struggled, trembling in his arms, “how are you still so hard?”

“I-, fuck, you’re just,” he groaned, hissing occasionally from just how tight your quaking cunt was clenching onto him, “you’re so fucking hot, ace,” nearly stopping his painstakingly slow movements altogether. 

Not wanting to let go, he simply rolled both of you over, tumbling onto to bed and unintentionally slipping out in the process, leaving your sensitive hole winking back at the massive length that somehow fit in there. 

You thought that what had occurred already would have been more than enough, that you wouldn’t be able to take anymore, but after only a few seconds of laying there in his arms, feeling his lips suck on your neck and his somehow still stiff cock jab against your butt, heat started to bloom once again in your belly and you found yourself instinctually raising one of your thighs up and hooking a foot between his calves, once again spreading your legs for you best friend. 

“Steve,” you whined, rolling your hips back and grinding into his dick. 

“Yeah?” you heard his deep voice directly in your ears as he slipped his length in between your thighs, letting you rub your collective mess all over him as it leaked out of you.

Being too timid to ask, but too curious to stop, you simply begged, “please,” your shaky breath giving it a desperate quality that would only feed his fire. 

“I’ll be gentle, ace,” he kissed your skin as he grabbed onto the base of himself, “I’ve been dreaming about it forever,” he slowly guided his slick cock back to kiss your little rosebud, “but I’ll try to be gentle, promise.”

The sensation of his generous girth splitting your untouched hole open had your body shaking. It was as much agonizingly caustic as it was blindingly pleasurable. Thankfully, he went at it as slow as humanly possible, gradually easing his dick inside. 

Gliding a hand down your front, his fingers came to toy with your overly sensitive bud, initially causing you to jerk back, unintentionally impaling yourself that much more on him. 

“You can take it, you can take all of it,” he whispered, determinedly playing with your clit to compensate. 

Your breaths were laboured as your body tried to comprehend this new and jarring sensation as his cock pierced you to your very core. When he had given you what he deemed was an acceptable amount, you half expected him to just go ham, plough you till you literally passed out, but he didn’t. He just stayed there, barely moving at all. Just filled you up as his fingers played with your soaked folds. 

Plunging his fingers into your pussy, it was nearly too much to bear, your sensitive walls both being happy for his return, welcoming him in, yet also screaming bloody murder as it was all so incredibly intense. 

Hooking his middle and ring finger inside of you, he anchored them there, using them as leverage to gently rock your body back onto him, moving your whole being via the thick fingers he had nestled against your g-spot. 

“Hey, why are you crying, baby?” he asked you softly, kissing your wet cheek. 

You hadn’t even realised that you were, being way too dazed to feel the pillow under your cheek begin to dampen with your blissed-out tears, “it just feels so good,” your words were nearly incomprehensible as they flew out. 

“You crying because it feels good, yeah?” you didn’t have to turn and look to be able to pick up on the huge grin spread across his face. 

Nuzzling back further against his fuzzy chest, listening to the jaw-dropping lewd sloppy sounds his fingers produced as they purposefully rocked vigorously against that spot inside you that caused your eyes to roll back. “I’m so full, so full,” you slurred, “I can feel you fucking everywhere,” your wild hand came down to ghost over his forearm, feeling the muscles tense and flex under your touch as he continued to make sloppy music with your body. 

“You think you can squirt for me again pretty girl?” he asked, nibbling your earlobe.

All you could manage to answer with was a pathetically shaky, “no.” 

“Oh yeah? You sure about that?” 

“N-no,” you echoed just as wobbly as before. 

With raging confidence, he raised his head and ogled as you yet again squirted all over his rocking palm, drenching the sheets below even more. 

Nearly blacking out as your spent body spilt out its essence, you felt Steve twitch behind you, undoubtedly fighting to keep his hips movements to a minimum. 

“Say that you want me to cum in your ass, ace,” he growled, his wet fingers, after finally quitting their bullying of your puffy center, dug into your hip, surely leaving lavender marks in their wake, “come on, say that you want me leaking out of both your holes.”

“I w-want yo-… I-…” was all you could get out, eyes shut and genuinely feeling more like a ragdoll at this point, half asleep from the abundant waves of ecstasy. 

Even though he bit down on your shoulder, it still didn’t muffle his moans, loudly expelling himself once again, pumping you full of his hot cum. 

Lazily detaching himself from you, you felt him spread your cheeks apart, giving himself a good view of both your tender holes, leaking, and still slightly gaping from his generous girth.

“Look at that mess you made, ace,” he further spread apart your puffy folds and probed a finger into each one of your sore openings, “fucking beautiful…” 

Humming as you felt his lips upon your hip, gently retracting his curious fingers, he told you, “I’ll be right back, ace. Just gonna go grab something to clean you up with and a glass of water.”

Finally on the brink of slumber, what you failed to notice as Steve returned to provide you with hydration and a gentle wiping of the mess he’d made, was that as he sat down the cold glass of water on your bedside table, he spotted, badly hidden under your diary, the college acceptance letter that bound you to move 900 miles away from him. 

Feeling the mattress dip under you, you felt your duvet being tugged over you as Steve crawled in behind you. Hugging your resting body close as if his life depended on it, his earnest voice just managed to catch your ear before you faded away into dreamland, “I love you… ace, I really love you…”

next chapter

© 2022 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[erebuscanread]

Why Bob is called 'BOB'

Hello Humans! It's the vice curator Tae the lizard. I have finally let hooman out for some enrichment time! Below the cut is what they've created. Hooman hopes you enjoy it. Leave a like, reblog or even hit up the ask button. Any feedback is really appreciated.

Pairing(s): Bob/!gn reader (nicknamed Sunshine)

Warnings: Fluff, Bob being a garden fairy, no beta we die like Goose.

Bob doesn’t stand for baby on board as his new team thought. He grew up on a ranch and learned how to fix things early on. That translated into him fixing anything that needed fixing even when he went through the Naval aviation academy. If a table was wobbly, the next day it wasn’t. The sink was leaking, it suddenly was fixed a few hours later. He was like a handyman ghost. His past team members finally caught on to his stealth fixing and dubbed him Bob the Builder. The nickname made him feel bashful because he wasn’t looking to be praised for the work he did, he just wanted to help anyone he could. 

After the Dagger squad became a permanent fixture in Fighter Town, Bob purchased a home close enough to the base that it was an easy commute and was still close to the beach. He loved waking up to the sounds of waves crashing on the beach and smelling the saltiness of the sea. Another thing he liked about his new home, which he was shy to admit, was his neighbor. He caught glimpses of them in the morning when he went on his morning run and they were headed to work. He would also spot them after work when he sat on the back porch to watch the sunset over the water. He hadn’t worked up the nerve to talk to them yet. He gave them a small nod and smile every them they crossed paths.

Bob’s love language was acts of service so when he noticed that part of the small fence that separated his neighbor's yard from Bob’s was broken he spent a weeknight fixing it while his neighbor was out for the evening. It started off with little things like that. Much to his chagrin, he was caught by his enchanting neighbor when he was working on building flower boxes for his neighbor's blossoming garden. He was going to drop them off at their front door and run away like usual. He felt slightly creepy about how he was acting but his nerves still prevented him from reaching out and introducing himself. As he went to put the flower boxes on the front porch the door opened and Bob jumped, the flower boxes clattering onto the porch. Bob was a deer in the headlights, eyes wide and mouth formed into an ‘o’. 

“Uh- I- uhh.” Bob sputtered as he tried to find words to say. 

“Good morning, my garden gnome,”

  His neighbor was smiling at him with a mischievous glint in their eyes. 

“G-good morning, I’m so sorry. I noticed that your flower boxes were no longer working for your garden and I was making myself a pair so I thought I would make you a couple too. Now I realize that probably comes off as creepy.” 

Bob rambled needless in front of his neighbor who was smiling at him. 

“I was wondering who was sneaking into my garden and making it look better than I ever could. I thought maybe it was a water sprite, maybe a smart seagull or a garden gnome.” They regarded him with a bright smile that lit up their eyes. 

“I’m relieved that it was you in my garden and not anything other mischievous creature.”

Bob was stunned. Not only was his neighbor stunning in the morning light, but was full of an internal light that warmed Bob’s heart. He immediately nicknamed them Sunshine in his head. Bob tried to collect himself to form a coherent sentence.

“I’m Bob, not a fairy, spirit, or otherwise. At least as for as I know.” 

Bob chuckled, the sound filling the air and making his neighbors smile even brighter. 

“It’s nice to meet you Bob.” 

His neighbor stuck out their hand and introduced themselves. Bob grasped their hand with a grin and a flushed face. The flower boxes were forgotten on the porch until his foot nudged one of the boxes. He did even realize that he was gravitating closer to his neighbor. He let go of their hand and picked up the flower boxes. 

“It’s really thoughtful of you to make extra flower boxes for me. I’ve been meaning to buy new ones but life has been a bit busy for me.”

They took the flower boxes into their arms and started to turn towards the door to their beach home. 

“Do you want to come in for coffee and help me set up the boxes?” 

“I would like that a lot.” 

The two of them walked into Sunshine’s home. This was the beginning of a beautiful story of two souls intertwining effortlessly. 

[innytoes]

Hello, please do prompt 21 for willex!! So excited!

And also for @legolasghosty who asked for the same with Willex(ie). Because you all love the giant skeleton prompt lol.

You'd think after several months of being crammed into a tour bus during their first tour ever, Alex would have cringed at the idea of pooling their money to buy a house together as a band. But it wasn't like they were making Mansion Money (not yet! the Bobby in his mind shouted), and well, he kind of liked their little house. He liked seeing his friends every day. They each had their own bedroom, they converted the garage into a music studio, and there were enough bathrooms that nobody wanted to murder the others on a regular basis.

The house was in a nice neighbourhood, but nice in the way that people smiled and nodded at each other on the street, not nice as in 'everyone's lawn is immaculate and exactly according to HOA standards'. The house on the corner had an alarming amount of garden gnomes, there was a Little Free Library a few houses down, and apparently people went kind of hard decorating for the holidays.

Reggie had been more than happy to sweet talk the little old lady with the Pomeranian from down the street into giving up her source for decorative gourds. But it wasn't enough, so they decided to plan a trip to the nearest Spirit Halloween.

It wasn't like they planned to come home with a twelve foot skeleton. But it was there, and it was awesome, and when Alex had tried to object, Luke had turned to him with a: "We're the adults now, bro. We get to decide what that means."

And well, how could Alex object to that?

"Okay," he'd agreed. "But only if we can rig it so he's holding a pride flag."

And so, Clyde The Pride Skeleton was erected in their front yard, much to the delight of a lot of their neighbours. It wasn't uncommon for people to stop and take pictures, for little kids to shout HI CLYDE on their way to school, and for the local teens to salute him while biking past. Alex kind of loved it.

So yeah, he wasn't particularly upset to find a stranger in their front yard taking selfies with Clyde. The skeleton was located far enough to the front of their yard and they had enough greenery and porch between him and the house that their privacy wasn't exactly compromised. And well, who wouldn't want a picture with a giant gay skeleton?

The thing that was alarming was how this guy was taking selfies.

Because he was on stilts. Stilts high enough that when Alex looked out of his bedroom window, he was face to face with the beautiful, handsome, insane stranger in the front yard.

"Hi! I love your skeleton!" the guy called, waving as Alex opened up his widow in alarm.

"What the hell are you doing?" he called, a little alarmed. The guy was really, really high up.

"Taking a selfie?" Stilt Guy responded, wiggling his phone a little for emphasis.

"Okay," Alex huffed to himself, because obviously. "Why are you on stilts?"

"Oh!" the guy beamed. "Because else I couldn't get his face and my face in the frame!"

Which made a weird kind of sense but also who had giant stilts just lying around? How far had this guy walked with (on? that was a terrifying thought) giant stilts just to get a selfie with Clyde.

The guy moved around the skeleton, coming up to the window, and while Alex thought he should probably be more concerned, the closer the guy got, the more he realised he was very, very pretty. Besides, if he was a creep, he'd be easy to topple over.

"I'm Willie!" Stilt Guy said.

"Alex," Alex said. "Do you always have giant stilts with you, or did you make a special trip just to meet Clyde?"

"His name is Clyde?" Willie's smile became even wider. "I mean, I had them in my backpack, I just did a shift at the Hollywood Ghost Carnival. They're collapsible. You'd be surprised how handy they can be!"

"Uhuh. I bet you rescue a lot of kittens stuck in trees," Alex said sarcastically, and okay, maybe a little flirtatiously. Listen, it wasn't ever day that a handsome stranger hovered outside your bedroom window wanting to chat.

And so they did. For like half an hour, Alex sitting in the window sill and Willie shuffling around on his stilts. He told the story of Clyde the Pride Skeleton, Willie told him about his job at the Carnival, and they both flirted up a storm.

Alex was just about to offer Willie to come inside (through the window, through the front door, whatever would be easier in the giant stilts), when Reggie came running down the street.

"Guys, do we have a ladder?" he called. "Mr Emerson's cat is stuck in a tree in front of the Molina's house and she sounds so sad, we gotta help her out!"

Willie met his eyes. The mischievous smile was back.

Alex groaned. Okay, so he'd been proven wrong. "Actually I think we got something that will work!" he called down, and when Reggie turned to look, his face lit up.

Maybe afterwards, they could still grab a coffee or something. You know, on the ground like normal people.

[mintbees]

If I sneakly be able to steal the buttplug gnome from rotterdam would it be safe in your garden?

HELLO!??!?!

yes sure but also bring an actual buttplug for...personal reasons

[erikandersonsspouse]

hello! I saw that your ask box is open and was wondering if you have some platonic headcanons or short general scenarios for the brothers with mc. like gardening with James for example.

Platonic headcanon's my beloved! Yes I do have some platonic headcanons for the boys with mc and I'll list as many as I can think of below!

~~James~~

~James and MC love to garden together, as you've pointed out! Just taking time to weed, prune, and water the garden. Whether they work in silence, put on some music, or chat about anything at all, they love taking the time to be in the garden together. It's also quite soothing for both of them, a stress reliever from the worriers of the world

~ If they do put on some music, they absolutely dance around the garden together and occasionally fall over and just have goofy silly fun and it's so cute and platonic. (I personally adore dancing with my friends, slow dancing or otherwise doesn't matter)

~They'll also go shopping for seeds and gardening tools and that is how they now have an inside joke about the gnome in the front garden. No one understands why James and MC crack up every time it's mentioned or even see the ugly thing

~James and MC also love to just read quietly in the library together. Sometimes they'll read the same book and have like a mini book club with snacks and drinks and it's great fun for them.

~Sometimes Damien joins them and they help teach him how to read better.

~Other times, if MC has college homework to do, they'll sit in the library to either both do work or they'll work while James reads. It's normally a quiet time. James also helps MC is they need it.

~~Erik~~

~Erik loves to play the piano, and MC enjoys listening to him play. Sometimes they'll sing, sometimes Erik will teach them how to play the piano.

~They also enjoy just putting on music and dancing, it's fun and goofy and they can just be themselves.

~Erik will also rope MC into fashion shows. Whether they raid the mall and find things they feel like modeling for each other, or Erik has a few designs he was opinions on and convinces MC to try, they absolutely have put on mini fashion shows and have an absolute blast

~From those mini fashion shows come hundreds of goofy pictures saved to both of their phones, and MC very often cycles through them as their lock screen. Erik has a photo album of them saved to his phone.

~I also think MC and Erik would love to watch fashion shows or shows like Eurovision and make fun of everything together. Just two best friends being absolutely petty and making fun of people who will never know and won't care anyway. (This is mostly when one of them has had a bad/stressful day)

~They have spas days planned weeks in advance, at least once a month. Just a day they take to hang out and treat themselves.

~~Sam~~

~100% one way they hang out and show they care is MC asks Sam to teach them self-defense (or better self-defense). Which Sam is only too happy to do, even if he pretends to grumble

~These also spend a lot of time on the roof, doesn't matter what they're doing. Listening to music? On the roof with the music coming from one of their phones speakers. Taking a lunch break? Yep they're on the roof. Truth or Dare? You guessed it roof top

~They both have fallen asleep on the roof before and worried the hell out of the James, and the boys at first. Now they're used to it and will either leave them there or fetch them if they have too.

~There are also a number of hilarious photos/videos of the absolutely stupid stunts Sam and MC will pull while on the roof. Mostly Sam because he's less likely to get hurt by being an idiot on the roof.

~If one of them has had a bad day, the other will drag them to just sit up on the roof and watch the clouds. Eventually whoever is having a bad day will open up about it.

~The roof is Sam and MC's space, everyone knows that. Like a club house for the two friends only.

~~Matthew~~

~Matthew and MC love playing games together. Board games, video games, card games, doesn't matter, they love it.

~These two started a Youtube Channel where they play games together. Their videos of playing scary games are the most popular because both Matthew and MC get so freaked out and it's hysterical.

~They also have TikTok, and post the stupidest content ever. But it's always funny.

~MC and Matthew enjoy cooking together. They'll find a recipe they want to try and go shopping together. And when they do cook they often have music playing in the background. On more then one occasion a spoon has been used as a microphone as they sing and dance while cooking/baking together.

~Simon Tabby often makes an appearance when Matthew and MC play games together to mess with Matthew by stealing pieces pieces or jumping at poor Matthew during tense and or scary parts in games. Just anything to rile up Matthew and make MC almost bust a rib laughing.

~MC and Matthew also prank Matthew's brothers sometimes, never anything super mean but ya know. Water bucket over a doorway and other mundane pranks.

~~Damien~~

~MC absolutely teaches Damien how to read. Makes it their personal mission to give Damien something he was denied for so long as soon as Damien makes a comment about wanting to learn.

~They love making blanket fortes together with lots of pillows and cozy stuff and watching a movie marathon. Doesn't matter what movies, but they marathon them!

~They also both enjoy taking walks together during the warmer months.

~MC took Damien and his brothers apple picking for the first time and Damien thought it was really cool. He even put MC on his shoulders to help them pick apples really high up.

~When it snowed for the first time MC took Damien outside and told him all about snowball fights and making snowmen and snow angles. He was fascinated and found them to be a lot of fun. The Hot Chocolate MC made when they got inside afterward was really good too. They make it a tradition to have at least one day every winter where they go outside to play in the snow like they're 5 years old with no cares in the world.

~MC is the one to introduce Damien to a lot of music, due to playing music on their walks. He finds he's not really picky about what music he listens to but does enjoy when MC dances to it, and sometimes he'll join them in their dancing.

[blujayonthewing]

OKAY hi hello I'm making a pinned post finally! I'm Jay (she/ her) and I've been on tumblr since the dawn of time. I reblog a bunch of seemingly unrelated stuff for my friends and I talk a lot about my OCs so watch out

Art Blog: blujaydoodles Nude Art Blog: blujaynoodles

Tags

me - depictions of me. in theory, selfies; in practice, mostly, like, pictures of beetles about me - posts that are about me, sometimes even literally my art - exactly what it says on the tin tagged for me - posts that made my friends think of me :3 husband - tumblbuddies - irl frens - my FRIENDS!!! 💖💕 spider, spiders - to block if you hate spiders, to peruse if you love them (you're welcome)

OCs and other tags under the cut!

Blorbos

One of these days I'll put together a nice orderly About page for each of my little guys. For now, here's a bunch of tags (insp tags are mostly reblogs; name tags are mostly art, asks, or other original posts). These are not all of my blorbos, just the most usually mentioned

my OCs - catchall tag Elyss - elyss insp - water genasi ranger Idri - idri insp - gnome arcane trickster rogue Juniper - juniper insp - human druid cartographer Aubree - aubree insp - halfling cavalier fighter Nyssa - nyssa insp - satyr warlock Melliwyk - melliwyk insp - gnome wizard/ artificer Felix - felix insp - gnome inquisitive rogue elyss and june - fengling and june - felix and mel - ship tags 😌

What's With The Gnomes

I just think they're neat!! This is primarily about the dungeons and dragons race, specifically in 5e which is the edition I'm playing and am familiar with. I love them a lot and I have a lot of Thoughts™ and I make it everybody's problem. But also, honorable mention to fairytale garden type gnomes, because I do vibe with being six inches tall and having tea with field mice

gnome stuff - worldbuilding thoughts for DnD gnomes gnomeposting - posts about the jolly little guys with the pointy hats look at my gnomes boy - a semi-joke tag for art of my gnome OCs worldbuilding - thoughts and reblogged resources for worldbuilding, gnome specific and otherwise

[jazz hands]

[another-heroine]

Silver Lining

A/N: IT'S FINALLY DONE

You probably are tired of me saying that I'm weak for parents-family-children boundaries in fiction since my irl family was disfunctional *laughing crying*

So here it comes an oneshot just for the fluff. I kept the WOTR spoilers low and Ekaterina in a 'neutral' route (it fits weather she becomes a mother after game or not, for example, regardless of romances etc)

Thank you, @silversiren1101, for lending me your little ganzi-gnome ;___;

She knew every corner of that place by heart. Even with shutted eyes, she could tell what was going on there: the birds chirping, the water fountain running, the oldest cat complaining about anything. And that sound of feathers, along the muffled giggle, was very familiar.

Ekaterina felt little hands grabbing her skirt, and heard a scare attempt, “Boo!”

The druid did her best acting, putting one hand over her heart. “Jesyll!”

The little girl laughed out loud. “Hi, auntie! I gotcha again, didn't I?”

“You always get it.” Ekaterina couldn't help but smile. She patted her head. “Hello, my dear. How are you doing?”

Jesyll hugged her legs. She adored how Auntie Kaya smelled like. It was like a fusion of a vegetable garden in summer and a pine forest. Herbs, flowers, juicy fruits.

Comfort scent.

“I came to help you.” The girl leaned her chin on the woman's leg. “What can I do?”

Ekaterina gave a half smile. She looked around; there was almost nothing more to do in that afternoon. But it would be impossible to change the mind of a ganzi-gnome child. Then she asked, “Alright, can you fetch me some water?”

“Yes, ma'am!” she happily agreed, darting through the greenhouse. The rustle of her tail always lured the stray kittens out of their feline dreams under the branches, making them run after her. Jesyll was used to that kind of buzz, and just laughed. When she had learned that it was a great way to bait them to pat them, she didn’t mind anymore about the occasional chase.

Ekaterina watched the scene, silently having fun, but also paying attention. She didn’t want anyone to get hurt in her greenhouse. And the vines, branches, playful kittens, many things there could leave a scar or two. Especially when you were small like… a gnome.

Jesyll got a bucket and filled it into the fountain. As she stopped and curled her tail, the kittens tried to nuzzle into it. She sighed, delighted with the scene, leaving the bucket on the stone edge for a while. One of the creatures had golden eyes like her, and his tail was halved. The girl pouted, thinking about what could have happened to him. She couldn’t imagine how to live without her tail, even without a tiny piece. The girl shook her head and went back to her actual task. She had to help Auntie Kaya and her plants.

Plants… Jesyll loved tending to them. Every time when she had the opportunity, she was on her Mama’s side in the gardens, taking care of roses and trying to make friends with insects. One time, she mistook wasps for honeybees, and it caused her to fall into her mother’s favorite rose bushes. She could swear that Papa’s eyes got brighter for a second when he heard about it later. And since then, everybody — mostly Auntie Kaya — kept all eyes on her when she was outside. Like that very moment, when the druid craned her neck slightly, pondering if she should disperse the curious kittens, but it was not necessary; soon the girl came back safe and sound and with a bucket of water as requested.

“Done!” Jesyll nodded. “What do I do now?”

“Now step aside, my assistant.” Ekaterina put her hands on waist.

The girl climbed a seat next to her, and watched with attention. Auntie was about to do that thing that she would never get tired of.

The druid rolled up her sleeves, revealing her Irriseni tattoos. Sometimes she let Jesyll touch them, feeling their texture, and Ekaterina told her what every piece meant. Auntie said that in her homeland, Winter Witches used to scare common people, so many girls received their tattoos when they were between nine and twelve years old. That was a way to protect them from evil, and to avoid being kidnapped by the witches. Jesyll asked once if she could get one as well, and Ekaterina smiled.

“Oh dear, it’s not necessary. You are safe here, don’t you think so?”

“Pleaseee, they are so cool!”

“Maybe when you get older, yes? And… if your parents allow…”

Jesyll was pulled to the present again when she caught the blue lines on Ekaterina’s arms starting to glow. The druid cupped water from the bucket with one hand, and the liquid became goldish. She hummed something in Hallit and little waves danced on her palm.

Before them, over the wide table, there was a dying plant. If Jesyll was recalling right, that one was touched by the Blight. Although the Worldwound was sealed a long time ago, even before she was born, there were some scratches around the world. And druids like Auntie Kaya had the duty to cleanse that mess. That was why sometimes she had to leave for weeks or months.

The enchanted water flowed into the roots of the blemished plant. At first, nothing special seemed to happen, then from the depths of the pot, golden lines began to spread through the stalk to the leaves. The black stains began to vanish, and then stopped. Ekaterina cupped more water and did that again, until the Blight lingering was gone and a small white flower popped between the revivified leaves.

In the meantime, Jesyll was grabbing the seat’s edges with anxiousness, and her tail curled on one of the wood legs. When the process was done, she sighed with relief. “I thought it would never go away!”

Ekaterina smiled gently. “Sometimes, you need to take a longer time to fix things.”

“Like… for anything?” Jesyll tilted her head.

Auntie nodded, taking the vase and placing it on a shelf. For a moment, Ekaterina thought of using the feats of the Fifth Crusade as an example, after all, it took over a century for them to finally close that crater. And it demanded a lot of time, sweat and blood. But probably Regill had already told his daughter about it, and she didn’t want to be repetitive. Also, the Crusade was not a story for little kids, although the stains of that were still spreaded out there.

She observed the full shelves of ‘rescued’ plants. Definitely there was no rest for the good ones in Golarion.

Katya felt Jesyll pulling the hem of her skirt shyly.

“Auntie… Can we have cake now?”

The druid took a moment to react, letting the demons in her memories return to their hideout. They couldn’t touch them anymore. None of them. The work would never end, but at least there was hope and renewal ahead.

And that little talkative being around her, with her curious eyes prying everything, her loud laughter and everyday discoveries was one of Ekaterina’s silver linings after the end of the Crusades.

She didn’t say anything. Ekaterina just rolled down her sleeves and took her niece’s hand. They would have cake and lemonade and anything that she wished for.

At the greenhouse’s door, they noticed the halved-tail kitten was following them. The druid stated, “He likes you”.

The girl smiled wide, looking over her shoulder. She liked him as well.

What if she hid him in her bedroom?

[thestudentfarmer]

Hello everyone!

I hope everyone's been doing well and been able to work in their garden, or on their homestead or their sustainable journey this week! 😀

I wanted to post a lil update on some of the garden stuff 🌱

The sweet potato slips are doing a lot better than I'd hoped so far! They were pretty slumpy after being planted.

Which I was expecting, because it's entirely new and they just underwent something probably not fun for a plant. I also wasn't certain the Littles would make it since they wilted the worst but they've all perked 🥳

Butternut squash, peas and the asparagus. I'm going to be putting some trellis support in soon to help the peas and squash climb upwards easier.

The other side, Butternut and peas.

Sunflowers~

I've got to get working on the patch here soon but I am planning to put hollyhocks and some other tall bushy plants in. The idea is to create more natural shade for the flock at the least.

This is a squash I think. I can't remember so yay choas gardening!

And these, the chaos garden gnome believes is cantaloupe or honeydew.

Also! We've a lil pepper coming in!

That's it for today's post~

🌱🌻Happy Gardening and Homesteading! 🌻🌱

4 20 2023

[deadgardenexe]

Hello littl guys who are following me or not. I don't usually draw any fanart (simply because I wasn't interested in it before + I'm very afraid of fans of other fandoms) and mostly I do made adopts or draw my own oc. I make adopts just for closed species, as they are the ones that mostly bring me some money to live on. Today I decided to clean up my computer and found this lil bby werewolf. 😭😭😭😭 I also found another wicked little guy a week ago that I've already named Ren. He was very lucky as he was saved from the fate of becoming an adopt. However, his life is a living hell as he is pursued by garden gnomes. 😨 But don't worry! He breeds and sells these gnomes because his boss at work doesn't pay him a dime!

[morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy]

Interview with a Jared

As I've been working on my novel I've missed my other OCs so I thought we could catch up with them!

Hey Jared, thanks for coming down! How are you doing today?

"Hello, hi. Yeah, it's been a nice break from things. No, I'm doing okay, it's been a long week but I'm used to long weeks it keeps me busy."

Well, I'm glad you're doing okay! Anyway, I thought we would start with a couple of basic questions to get you warmed up and introduced a little bit and get into some deeper stuff later.

So what's your full name and how do you feel about it? Do you feel like it suits you?

"Mm, my full name is Jared Dionysus Quinn, and since I picked it I feel pretty good about it. But looking back, Jared is a little boring, I needed it to be at the time, but now I would probably pick something like Jupiter... Or Lavender, I think that would be cool."

Do you have any nicknames? How did they start?

"I've got a few and they range from endearing to offensive; Jer is the obvious one, but it started when my brother was just learning to talk, Jared was too hard to say.

Jer-bear, Courtney started it, I don't know where it came from but she hasn't let it die.

Rad, my boyfriend... He has this thing where he likes to make up nicknames and stuff. It started as shortening my name, but now he so lovingly changes it to 'Rat' now and then... I think I'm actually in his phone as Rat...

Anyway, uh. Quinn is obvious.

Pretty boy, I used to get called Pretty Boy a lot as an insult, I don't know how it's an insult but screaming " I better be the prettiest motherfucking boy on this side of Manhattan" apparently made it stick.

This doesn't really count as a nickname, but my personal favorite is the way my girlfriend says my name, she's from Ireland and she has an accent so it kind of sounds more like she's saying 'Gerharde', it annoys her but I think it's cute.

Oh and also there's the "Faggot Fair"... That's what Wyatt likes to call our friend group."

I'd honestly love to be a part of that group, but alas... Pronouns?

"He/they. I don't really bother with pronouns or labels in general."

How old are you and when is your birthday?

"That's a fun story, so I'm either twenty-seven or twenty-eight. I don't really know when my birthday is, I just know it was in the last four months of 1979 or the first four months of 1980. So by default, according to the State of New Jersey, my birthday is January first, 1980. Which is fitting, that's exactly ten years older than my brother."

Based on that comment we'll go to the next question, where are you from?

"Legally, New Jersey. Technically, I was born and spent a few years in Pennsylvania, but I've lived most of my life in Jersey... Unfortunately."

Who are the people in your life? Tell us about them!

"My little brother, Nicky. He's seventeen and a major pain in my ass, but I love him... He tests that, daily, but I do. Our unofficial adoptive mother Rachel Hart, was my fifth-grade teacher and she's always been really great to us, and so have her daughters, Courtney and Drew are like sisters. My girlfriend, Jayne, we've been together for a few years now. Our boyfriend, Wyatt, he and I have been on and off since high school. And my best friend Vince, he and I met in high school, too. We're both nerds."

To prove you are NOT a member of the Garden Gnome And Garbage Goblin Association, how tall are you?

"*laughs* No, but my brother is. Um, I think I'm around 5'10" or 6'0"? It's kind of hard to tell, I slouch and because I tend to hang around the 4GA."

What are you doing these days for work? What do you think of it?

"Nothing interesting, I tend bar and wait tables. it's not exactly my favorite. Mostly because do you know that saying about bartenders and hairstylists being untrained therapists? People always want to talk to me, I truly don't understand why, I'm very unfriendly and I have nothing to say to them but it keeps a roof over our heads and my brother in cinnamon toast crunch, so it's fine.

What would your dream job be, then? Or what is your dream just in general?

"Good question. I've never had much time to think about it really, I've just done what I can... I think it would be pretty cool to run a bookstore, maybe just a little indie store somewhere... I think the dream would be like the odd innkeeper, but with books. Something like that, or anything with books, really.

What is one word you would use to describe yourself?

"For better or worse, independent."

Why do you say that?

"I've been through a lot, I feel like it's the one consistency I have. I like to be alone, I know how to be alone and I'm good at it."

What's your hair texture like?

"Limp, it has a little bit of a wave to it but it's flat and a little stringy most of the time. That might be from the dye, though..."

An odd question but I really could not leave it out, what do you smell like?

"I've been told like strawberries and cedar."

What do you think your most noticeable physical attribute is?

"It'd be stupid if I didn't say my eyes, They're really green, my boyfriend refers to them as 'jolly rancher green', I personally think they're more of a Starbucks green. People always comment on them, I guess they're a little freaky, but that suits me."

Would you say you're more of an introvert or an extrovert?

"Introverted. As I said, I'm very independent, maybe reclusive. I don't trust others well, I just prefer to be alone."

What about when it comes to decisions? Are you impulsive or are you more careful?

"I wouldn't say careful, calculated is a much better word for me. Everything I do is extremely premeditated. It's served me well, and it's a habit I can't break, but it's also tiring. Especially with my partners, I know it drives them nuts."

Do you feel like that leaves you being more of an assertive person or shy?

"You know, you would assume everything about me would say I'm shy, but I'm strangely assertive. Even when I don't need to be. I'm kind of aggressive, in a way.

What is something you think people should know about you?

"I'm not as intimidating or as arrogant as I seem. A lot of what I give off is a shell, but to be honest, I prefer it that way."

I think maybe people should know a bit about your upbringing, is that something you're comfortable with sharing right now?

"I suppose. I mean, it's something that's going to get out eventually. Just as long as Nicky doesn't hear this, but he doesn't read and if he sees my name on it then he definitely won't."

Okay then. What's your current relationship with your parents?

*Jared takes a deep breath, slowly sighing as he thinks*, "It's completely non-existent. I ended up running away at ten and I've never looked back. I don't even know if they're still alive or not."

What about siblings? What is your relationship with them?

"It's just me and my little brother Nicky. He and I get along-ish, I've been raising him since he was born so that's a bone of contention and he likes to fight my authority, but I would be lying to say he isn't my best friend. Nicky is really the main reason I'm alive today, I don't know what would've happened to me if he wasn't born."

What kinds of attributes do you guys share? Are you a lot alike or way different?

*Jared chuckles to himself as he fidgets with his shoelace* "That's dependent on which one of us you ask. He [Nicky] doesn't like to admit it, but we're a lot alike. We look just like each other, except he's a little more slender and smaller, as well as much younger... His hair is lighter and I'm constantly having to hear about how his eyes are muddier than mine, but for the most part, we share everything. Personality-wise, Nicky is much more extroverted and friendlier than I am, he's also kind of naïve. That's a good thing, though, that's what I want for him... All and all, we're both just divas."

What was your childhood like?

"The words 'brutal' and 'traumatic' come to mind. Um, it was hard. Both of our parents had substance issues and we're abusive in their own ways, they weren't around a whole lot and when they were it was awful. I don't remember much of what it was like before Nicky, at least I try not to, and after that, it was just bouncing around foster homes. It wasn't much of a childhood."

What would you say your strongest childhood memory is?

"The night Nicky was born.

He was premature, I don't remember exactly how early he was but he weighed about four pounds and he was really tiny. We were both drug babies so he had a lot of issues, he wasn't supposed to make it.

It sucked, when our mother said she was pregnant I hoped the baby wouldn't make it, as tragic as it sounds, I didn't want them to have to go through everything I had been through.

I would stay in the hospital with him as long as they would let me and would sneak back in when they wouldn't. Our parents were there for most of that but they weren't really present, not that I really let them, I wouldn't even let the nurses touch him.

I remember holding him when I was able to and looking into his little eyes, I swore there that I'd never let anything happen to him. That's when I started thinking about taking him and running away so when he was healthy enough I did."

... I'm not sure how to comment on that, so we'll just move forward.

*he laughs but it doesn't reach his eyes* "Yeah, I get that a lot."

What was school like for you?

"It was pretty average until about high school. I got a lot of shit in high school, I was odd... Was, no, I am odd. My favorite things at that time were psychological thrillers and my knife collection and of course D&D and my humongous crush on David Bowie. I digress, a lot of the kids were creeped out by me so the bullying didn't last long. Besides, I was friends with the school asshole, Wyatt, so they left me alone if they didn't want to get a lit cigarette flicked in their hair, and Courtney was friends with everybody so she didn't stand for much of that either."

What about work-wise? What kind of student were you?

"I was a fairly good student, I was just trying to keep my head down and I knew if I got grades it would open more opportunities for me and Nicky so I worked hard on that."

What about after-school programs? Did you do any activities?

"Ugh, my foster parents were always signing me up for shit against my will. I did chess, but I still don't know how to play chess. I was forced into theater, I threatened everyone within an inch of their lives until they kicked me out. Band, they begged me to leave, I couldn't play anything to save my life. Debate, I was good at debate but I'd make the other kids cry, apparently, my level of debate was 'inappropriate'. Most notably was basketball, though. My foster father decided since I was tall-ish and skinny I could play basketball. I don't have an athletic bone in my body so everyone near me including myself was in mortal danger anytime I stepped on the court. No one believed me so I had to play one game, I got a concussion and I think I broke another kid's arm."

Okay, this is a very, very important question. Tea, coffee, or hot chocolate?

"Coffee. I like tea, especially the kind Jayne gets from Ireland, but I can't function without caffeine. At this point, I think I'm about 55% percent coffee and 5% water."

How do you like to unwind?

"Mostly reading. I like bubble baths, but I don't get a lot of time for myself, I don't unwind a lot."

Do you have any pet peeves?

"Paperback books, the fact that hardcovers are expensive. People that talk on the phone loudly in public, people in general, that there are different shades of black, the sun, coffee without creamer, when your sock slides down in your shoe, sand, putting things back when they're empty. Nicky, stop doing that. And smokers, Wyatt's been a smoker since I met him, I can't stand it."

What are your special skills?

*There's a prolonged pause*

*This was meant as a joke, but Jared got distracted by the thread hanging off of his sock*

"Sorry. Um, I'm a fast reader. I can make dinner with practically no groceries. My friend, Vince, once signed me up for this marksmanship program and I learned I can shoot a gun with a 'strange' accuracy, I don't know why he called it strange. Oh, and not to brag but I've been called a  'scary' liar."

What’s your most useless, weirdest, or least marketable skill?

"I'm really good at painting nails. My brother likes to make fun of me because sometimes when I'm over at my girlfriends we'll do our nails together, but I don't hear him complain when I do his."

How do you sleep at night? Are you a heavy or light sleeper?

"Well, I have what my psychiatrist girlfriend calls post-traumatic night terrors, so not well! But... There is no 'but', I haven't slept in however old Nicky is."

What are some habits you have? Any strange ones?

"I think all of them are probably a little strange. I talk to myself a lot, make up songs, and dance around while I'm doing chores. I fidget with my ring a lot, I collect knives I find out in the world, I can only sneeze while everyone is quiet, and I listen to music with one headphone because I can't trust the people I live with."

What's a fun fact about you?

"I collect a few things. Scented candles, books, comic books, and knives I find out on the street."

What do you think of children, either in general or about having them?

"I like kids, there was a time when I thought about being a teacher, if I had gone to college that's probably what I would've done. I hadn't thought about it too much, I've always had Nicky so I do have a kid but having my own, I don't know... I would rather adopt or foster, I know what that's like, there are already so many kids that need someone, it's harsh to say but I'd rather help one of them than have my own."

How about animals?

"I love animals, especially cats. One of our foster families had an old, fat, orange cat named Otis! He almost killed me because I'm allergic to cats, but he was a great cat. I want to get a cat but my girlfriend won't let me, I told her I'd get a hairless cat but she's not budging on it. I like dogs too but Wyatt doesn't so they've never been an option. Ideally, I'd get a snake or a bearded dragon! Wyatt hates that idea, too, though. So for now I'm pet less... Well, not totally, I have Nicky."

What is a weird quality that you have?

"Probably my laugh, it's been called a cross between The Joker and Woody Woodpecker."

What is your imagination like?

"It's a very strange place, it's a place where Nevermore the Raven and pink unicorns live, the sky is black it's always raining but there's a permanent rainbow, and a Barnes and Nobel on every corner. I feel like I'm kind of like Morticia Addams in a way."

What is most important to you?

"My mess of a little family I don't know what I'd do without them."

How emotionally/mentally vulnerable are you with other people?

"In all honesty, not very. It depends on the person, but even with my partners and my brother and Vince... I have to try really hard and a lot of times it has to be brought to my attention. It's my armor, though, being vulnerable in foster care isn't exactly an option... Or in New Jersey."

Do you think about what you wear or do you throw on whatever you find first?

"I don't put too much thought into it, no. Nicky hates it, he says I either dress like somebody's lesbian aunt from Iowa on vacation in Hawaii or a Myspace whore. I think he should consider himself lucky 'cause I could get more whore-ish."

What's your biggest secret?

"My brother doesn't know that I ran away or the abuse I went through, he thinks our parents are dead."

Smallest secret?

"I dye my hair black, it's scandalous."

What are your top five likes and dislikes?

"Top five... Coffee, comic books, chocolate-covered espresso beans, candles, cold weather. Dislikes; soup, summer, heat, Wyatt, audiobooks.

How do you feel about sports?

"It's dependent on the sport, as long as I don't have to play them I actually like watching them. Mostly football and hockey, sometimes soccer if Jayne feels a particular war towards a match."

Alrighty! Those are all the questions I have for you today! Do you have anything you want to say to the people reading this?

"Don't drink coffee on an empty stomach, and if you're ever in a fight with a crackhead in the parking lot of a Wawa's, go for the eyes! Goodbye!"

---------------------------

Hey! Thanks for reading!

Here's a very special thank you to @void-imp @lilypixels and @harrmoony for sending me questions and helping me write this interview!! You guys are great ilysfm <3

[changingplumbob]

Villareal Household: Chapter 4, Part 2

More Villareal drama, Devin is an actress after all. The newborns are home but things start to get rocky for Luna when she has trouble producing milk. Devin does her best to be supportive and their families visit for Harvestfest. At the end the boys become infants.

Context: The magic of game code allowed my two female sims to have biological twins. Again gameplay in this part would not be possible without the Child Birth Mod by PandaSama, specifically the lactation for Luna.

Saturday evening and we're all back home. Rilian is in the left bassinet in a blue onesie. Alfred is on the right in a green onesie. Both were lovingly knitted by nonna Calista. The skintones are throwing me off a bit, they don't seem to match either parent. Hopefully this changes on age up.

Luna's milk production doesn't seem to have started yet so she takes a cookie meant to help lactation before her nap. Devin finishes her nap and is delighted to find it wasn't all a dream, her sons are here. She calls Callista to tell her, and confirm they will still host Harvestfest tomorrow

Devin: I hope I didn't wake you

Luna: I needed to eat, why is my milk not coming in?

Devin: Amore every woman is different

Luna: I'll try pumping, hopefully I'll get something

Devin: Well hello Rilian. Come here, mama will feed you some nice formula while mummy works on her milk

Luna: *sighs sadly*

Devin: Hi there Alfred. Do you want some yummy formula huh

Luna: Nothing from that one, I'll try the other side

Devin: We can have formula in the meantime, can't we boys

Rilian: *wails*

Luna: It's my fault, he's hungry

Devin: Lu I just fed him, he can't be hungry

Luna: *sadly* mummy is trying

Luna: I don't know what I'm doing wrong

Devin: You're not doing anything wrong, Rilian just inherited my drama skills

Luna: I feel bad

Devin: Lu they'll survive if you can't produce milk

Luna: But they said breast is best

Devin: They also said leeches were an infallible cure

Luna: How do you know that word

Devin: TV

Luna: I'll have another cookie and try again

Devin: Just remember, they wouldn't make baby formula if it wasn't safe for babies to have

Luna tries again. She doesn't mind having a small chest but worries that's part of the problem with her milk supply.

Luna: SCHATZ! I got some

Devin: Well done Lu

Rilian: *Wails*

Devin: OMW I know you're not hungry yet

Luna: I'll give him some cuddles. Hey buddy, mummy is here

Rilian: *sniffs*

Luna: Next feed you'll have real milk, I promise. And so will you Alfred

Alfred: *blinks*

Luna: They're so perfect

And far too soon

Rilian: *wails*

Devin: Yep, you're hungry, got it

Luna: I'll try get some more milk

Devin: Are you sure you don't want to feed them

Luna: You do it, I need to try get our stock up

Devin: Lu you're not failing as a mum if you can't get breast milk

Luna: I wish it felt like that

Devin: How can I help

Luna: Keep buying the cookies

Devin: Lu-

Luna: I just want to try for a bit longer, please

Devin: You're the boss of your body, but they'll love you whether you're feeding them milk or formula, I promise

Luna scoops up each boy before heading back to bed, waiting on her milk.

Harvestfest is here! When Devin wakes up Luna is already busy trying to pump so she decides to take care of the morning chores. Sleep seems to have done Luna good and she's able to get two bottles ready for when her sons wake up.

After appeasing a gnome Devin thinks she can fit in a run before the boys wake up. Like normal she streams it to keep her fame up.

Paparazzi: Mrs Villareal! How are your babies? Can you confirm names

Devin: Good morning Ali. No comment

Ali: Understood

Devin: Have a good Harvestfest Ali

Ali: You to

Luna appeases the other gnomes and gets stuck into her gardening. She enjoys looking after the plants, especially her flowers harvested from the romance festival. It's so much easier to weed now that she doesn't have a bowling ball belly. Hopefully the gnomes will bring new seeds.

Luna tells Devin she's happy gardening so Devin does the next feed.

Devin: Can you taste a difference Alfred? Mummy worked extra hard on this for you

Rilian: *wails*

Devin: Yes she got some for you to caro

After a few extra cuddles Devin goes to practice the lines for her next gig tomorrow night.

Luna: Three, four- how many do we need

Devin: Uh my parents, my siblings, Deanna will probably bring Paris, your brothers, and your sister in law, oh and us, 11, may as well do the whole table

Rilian: *wails*

Luna: Sounds like a, change me now cry, I got him

*Doorbell*

Devin: I'll get that

Devin: Come and eat! Joey made this meal for us earlier

Joey: Because I'm the best brother

Kelly: And you wonder why I'm evil

Aaron: Where's Luna

Devin: Diaper emergency

Calista: I remember those

Paris: How are the- bambinos? Is that the right word

Deanna: *nods*

Devin: They're so small but lovely

Luna: They have Devin's eyes

Aaron: The hero returns

Joey: I knew you could push them out

Devin: She was amazing, it was such hard work

Hugo: Hard work sounds like my sister

Luna: I've missed you

Hugo: Sorry, work's hectic

Luna: Where's Max

Hugo: Where do you think, eating inside with Miriam

Hugo: Anything you need me to do

Luna: Can you produce milk

Hugo: Nope

Calista: Are you having trouble

Luna: I shouldn't complain really

Aaron: You should complain. When we had our kids I always told Calista-

Calista: Tell me everything even if I can't help

Hugo: I'll take these dishes

Luna: Thanks

Luna: I only get milk about half the time

Calista: Don't believe those blogger mums, substituting with formula is fine

Aaron: Joey got mostly formula

Joey: And I'm a genius remember

Luna: Think you'll have kids Miriam?

Miriam: Why would I want to be pregnant, looks shit

Devin: Ma, pa, you ready

Calista: We're coming

Devin: This is Alfred, he was born first. Alfred this is your nonna

Calista: Hello bambino

Luna: Then we have Rilian. Rilian this is your nonno

Aaron: Deanna and Kelly are pretty pale but these two might have them beat

Luna: We'll see when they're infants

Once everyone has left it's time. Luna and Devin get in position and manage to start the age up on the boys at the same time. Will I ever get sick of this animation? No, no I will not.

They're looking pretty identical. Quick makeover. Alfred is on the left. Since he had a green shirt on, green is his first favourite colour. He'll also have green socks for identification. Rilian had a yellow shirt so yellow will be his colour. He has blue socks for identification.

Alfred rolled the sensitive trait while Rilian rolled the cautious trait. Both boys have already unlocked their first smile milestone, smiling at their parents as soon as they aged up. First things first, some tummy time. The boys have to learn how to work their necks.

Alfred: *cries*

Devin: I feel so bad

Luna: Please stop crying boys

Devin: Mama is right here caro

Rilian: *lifts head*

Luna: Well done baby

Devin: Did you hear that Alfred. Don't you want to learn like your brother

Alfred: *lifts head*

Devin: Thank you, see you survived

Luna: We better get them down

Rilian sleeps easy enough but he gets sad about being put down. Turns out he has the Loves Being Held quirk. Alfred has more trouble. He has the Gassy quirk which makes his poor tummy sore. He also has the Frequently Hiccups quirk. Luckily Devin soothes him to sleep and kisses Rilian goodnight.

Previous Part ... Next Part

[citylawns]

Hello I am also totally a neurosciences student and I am here to tell you that dreams are actually just fantasies projected into our brain by evil garden gnomes who want to see us suffer 🤓 Source: just trust me mate

[gnomekinnie]

🍀Ah... Hello... Welcome... To My Blog...🍄

🍀🍄HI IM DOGEN!! im a 16 yr old who loves gnomes. this is my otherkin blog for when im feeling gnomish whimsey at any particular moment.. my main blog is @/theyhitthepentagon.🌿

🍀🍄i personally dont take kinning seriously or as a spiritual thing its just how i describe the way i feel. i have different mindsets i cycle through and i like to personify one of them as a little gnome because i feel gnomish whimsey. in that mindset.🌿

🍀🍄my blog is for everybody who is nice and i dont take kindly to bigots or terfs or nazis/otherwise antisemites (waddle away gnomehunters. i gnow what you are). you dont have to particularly like gnomes or be gnomekin or even otherkin to follow just do whatever you want ok?🌿

🍀🍄i mostly feel a kinship with traditional garden gnomes that look like little old men, so i wont be posting much about christmas gonks (the kind with only the hair and nose visible), unless i am feeling extra whimsical and kind in which i may draw one or two. if you like gonks and not traditional gnomes then this blog may not for you, unless you like gonks and gnomes in which case this blog is for you and also you can come in any time youd like. i dont judge.🌿

🍀Tag Guide (For original posts anyways)🍄

#gnomespeaks : my own posts where i talk about something! may be accompanied by mspaint doodles of gnomes but not always, just when i feel like it.

#gnomeart : my own gnome art :)