#AND I HATE WEARING SHIRTS I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THAT SURGERY AND I WILL SHOW OFF MY SCARS

[unovabattleresearcher]

So WHAT if I hang around aesthetically pleasing areas of routes, caves, or the depths of historical sites and challenge interesting- or tough-looking children to Pokémon battles? Who CARES if I do it while talking vaguely about my interests and forgetting to introduce myself? What does it MATTER if I use progressively more of my team at higher levels each time I battle a specific kid? Who are YOU to judge me for giving myself a unique Trainer class? What do you MEAN you want me to put a shirt on?

[sp00kworm]

Butterfly

Pairing: Jesse Cromeans / Chromeskull x Female Reader

Warnings: Slasher horror and gore

A/N: This fic is blocked from the tags but please enjoy! Reblogs are always appreciated. Gif is by me.

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His home was lonely. Jesse looked at the clock, his eyes burning with the need to sleep, but his mind racing. It was late. Approaching eleven o’clock. He’d had to work today. His company didn’t run itself, and there was a lot of accounting and management to do outside of his little hobby. Jesse looked away from the clock and stretched his jaw, the bone clicking from where he was cracked around the face with the bat. The bone had healed rather easily, but it hurt from time to time. His face, that was mauled. He wasn’t the stud he used to be. Handsome, a straight jaw and high cheekbones. Cynically, he snorted at the picture on the mantle he had of him and his late wife. Mrs Cromeans clutched at his arm at some high-class party, her red lips spread in a smile to match Jesse’s smirk. The second was him kissing at her cheek as she pushed him away. Sentimental. He was feeling sentimental. He didn’t hate his wife. She was convenient. A life outside of his hobby. Pretty. He didn’t even know she was pregnant. The police informant he had revealed the death report tentatively to him. The unborn child inside her wasn’t old enough to be saved. An accident he never expected to occur. He’d been gone nearly 4 months, and she was pregnant. He didn’t remember a message, but then he tended to let Spann handle such things. He probably ignored it. Jesse stood from his black leather couch and walked to the mantle.

He took the picture in his hand. His face was partially cut off, the camera focused on his wife and her smile. Jesse looked at it before he leaned over and threw it on the fire. The glass shattered with the force of hitting the logs and the frame quickly burst into flames, black paint peeling off the wood as it crackled and snapped. The photos disappeared into curling pieces of charcoal and he watched the frame burn with a certain amount of upset. Sentiment, he reminded himself, as he pushed himself away from the mantlepiece and touched the tattoo on his chest. The shaded skull stared back at him with hollow eyes. It was a reminder of the urges he had. With a sigh, he touched at his arms and traced the patterns of screaming, swirling ghouls all the way down to his wrist before daring to stand up a little bit straighter. He reached for the laptop of his coffee table and opened a chat window with Spann. It took a moment for the secure connection to open properly.

 Spann’s face appeared in the bottom corner, her tired eyes looking at him through the camera. She was still sat in the office, but she gave him a smile, “What can I do for you, Sir?” She asked as she shuffled the paperwork away.

Jesse made sure his face was out of frame, ‘Make sure there is a clean-up crew on standby.’

Spann peered at the text, “Of course, Sir. Where are you heading out to?” She asked curiously as her fingers whipped across the keyboard lightning fast, “You’ve been in Hollywood for a while now, have you finally taken a fancy to someone? You’ve not been as active as you once were.” She smiled, sickly sweet and twisted, just like she always did.

‘Just have the crew ready. I will text if I find something.’

“Of course. Have fun, Sir.” Spann nodded and he closed the chat window before disconnecting from all the rerouting services and opening the internet to have a look for a bar that suited his fancy. Something exclusive so he didn’t have to sit and be gawked at by people that could well lose their eyes. His good eye roved the names of bars before he spotted a club. He recognised the name. A mob boss run thing, he was sure, but it would mean he didn’t get stared at with a knife on his hip underneath his jacket. Perfect. Jesse snapped his laptop closed and headed upstairs for a shower and to get appropriately dressed up.

 The hot water eased his sore back, but it hurt on the sensitive skin of his face. He covered his face with a hand to his forehead as he washed the smell and aches from himself. The soap was sensitive, and he carefully washed his face, making sure to get around his eyes, to avoid any form of gunky infections. Those had been hell when he was laid in the hospital bed recovering. Still, a great deal of more work on his face this past year had made him far more recognisable, but it wasn’t the same. He was still scarred and twisted, his nose looking rather out of place. He ran a finger over the rougher skin, where the scaring was worst, tracing back over his forehead from his eyebrow. They had managed to graft new muscle and replace areas that were damaged. He felt more human now, but nothing would ever replace how he used to appear. Still, Jesse had paid good money for his better face, and he would be damned if he didn’t use it a little. He turned off the shower and dripped in the wet room for a moment before he wrapped a towel around his waist and pulled his razor out to sheer the hair from his head. It was therapeutic. Jesse leaned over the water to catch the hair on the back of his head before he held his jaw and angled the mirror to check his face. Nothing grew anymore, but that didn’t stop him checking.

 He turned the mirror to his face and stroked the newly constructed nose. It had been four months of healing this time around. Plastic surgery galore. He’d had mountains of work since his run in with Princess’ little friend. He almost resembled a person. Still, he was scarred, and his eyebrows no longer grew hair along with his jaw. He was still blind in one eye, the brown eye cloudy. Jesse plucked his eyepatch from the shelf and replaced it before brushing his perfect teeth. He had paid too much money for most of himself to neglect it. He towelled himself off and walked from the bathroom to his room, stark naked, stretching his back before he plucked out his designer black shirt, trousers, and jacket. Once he was dressed, he pulled on his oxfords and pulled his case from underneath the floorboards. Jesse undid the latches and peered inside. The chrome skull stared back at him, along with the polished knives he used to remove pieces of his victims. The box of gloves sat nestled in the top corner but he didn’t put any on for the time being, letting his tattooed hands breathe. He pushed his fists together and looked at the two words. The words ‘FEAR’ and ‘PAIN’ looked back at him. With a final adjustment of his cufflinks, he took his wallet from the nightstand and left his house, activating the alarm and locking the door before he opened his Chrysler 300 and slid into the roomy interior. The engine roared to life before he pulled away from the drive. Jesse rolled down the tinted window before he pushed his middle finger out of it, flagging the neighbours who glared at him from their windows.

 The bar was half of a club with the back for exclusive clients, which ranged from those involved in mob work, to celebrities. Jesse tugged at the breast of his jacket as he let the eager doorman take his car around the back. He stopped him with a finger in the air and he unlocked his phone and typed into the speech app.

‘Open the trunk or my glovebox and I’ll have your fingers, bellboy.’

“Yes, Sir.” He swallowed as he climbed into the Chrysler, pulling it away smoothly into the back of the club. Jesse looked around, his silver mask shining in the gaudy lighting. The mob knew him. He was the one who moved the weapons through his shelter companies. He took care of some of their business, butchering people like pigs for them when they took his fancy, and in, exchange, they let him have his pick of their girls for his games. He stepped through the door and a bouncer waved at him from the curtain separating the areas. The bar went around both sides, but no one could see through the curtains. Jesse walked through the bar, passing a group of women in lingerie as the bouncer let him through the other side.

“Good to see you again.” He grunted, looking up at the man as he drew out his phone.

‘Did you miss me?’ Jesse snarked through the automatic voice.

“You’re hardly any trouble.” He tipped his head towards a booth, “Make yourself at home.”

Jesse walked past him and headed for his table, pulling the curtains back before he placed his briefcase down and slid inside, sighing with the low lighting. He relaxed back against the cushions and reached for the mask over his face. With a hum, he pushed his thumbs into the mild adhesive and plucked the piece of chrome free with a twist underneath his chin in order to apply a new layer.

 It was quiet at this side of the bar, the curtains blocking out a lot of the noise and the people that he didn’t want to look at. Exclusive. Jesse ran his fingers over the leather of the couch and hummed at the quality before he tucked his case beside him. The knife strapped beneath his jacket wasn’t going to cause any problems here. Jesse pulled the case around and listened as the curtains rustled beside him. He was used to this. The silver skull turned to face the red fabric and Jesse lounged back on his seat as it parted to reveal the curious face of the bartender. He smiled behind his mask at the professional wear, a shirt and bowtie on. His eyes roved lower behind the black material over his eyes, looking at the short skirt attached. Perfect. He greedily took in the sight, laid back against the cushioning, and slid his phone from his pocket.

 You nervously parted the curtains of the exclusive booth and poked your head inside. Great, you thought as you slid the notebook from your pocket, holding your pen in your hand as you tried not to stare at the silver mask leering ominously back at you. His head dipped to look at your legs, admiring the view.

“What can I get you, Sir.” You asked, pen poised to write on the paper, “Any food or are you just drinking?”

The man in the mask didn’t respond, but his fingers whizzed across the keyboard of the phone, typing out something across the screen. He turned the screen to show you the words, ‘Drink. A bottle of bourbon. The one at six hundred.’

“Okay. Do you want a glass and ice?” You asked carefully, watching as he tilted his masked face.

His fingers clicked rapidly across the keyboard again, ‘Two ice cubes. Crystal tumbler.’

You had his sort before, “Of course, Sir.” You ducked back out and replaced the curtains before you headed back towards the bar to grab the expensive, six-hundred-dollar bottle of bourbon whiskey.

 Jesse watched you through a small parting in the curtain, eyes following your backside as you returned to your colleague at the bar. He made sure to drop the curtain back into place as you turned from the bar and headed back towards him.

 “Your drink, and your glass.” You placed the bottle and the tumbler down in front of the chrome-faced man and watched his tattooed fingers twitch against the leather as he leaned over to inspect what you had brought him.

Lazily, he took hold of the bottle neck, and peered at the label before he nodded and typed rapidly on the phone again, ‘Thanks. Run along, Piggy.’

You nodded and left his booth alone, catching a glimpse of tattooed hands pouring a drink as the red curtain closed behind you.

“Rude asshole.” You muttered under your breath as you headed back towards the bar, where you were needed on the other side, with the normal clientele of the bar. They were perhaps worse than the questionable celebrities and mobsters of the exclusive side, but you could cope with serving the sex workers and incredibly drunk men.

 Joe gave you a look of concern as you came back through the curtain. He was an old man and had worked at the bar since he was young. He knew the sorts that tended to frequent the establishment. He leaned over towards you as you threw some glasses in the box for cleaning.

“Don’t fuck with that one.” He whispered, “The Boss doesn’t like him here, but he puts up with it. Rumour is he’s a bit of a knife for hire. Tends to get those jobs that required someone gutting for a video.” Joe scowled and rubbed at his moustache, “Stay far away and keep him happy with drinks.”

“Thanks, Joe.” You uttered before you served a beer, “What’s with the mask?”

Joe shook his head, “Best not to ask.” He then left you alone as you pulled pints of beer for a group. It wasn’t long before you swapped again into the back, smiling as you peered at the booths. You frowned as the curtain to the stranger’s flickered and he waved his hand before he curled his finger towards himself and pushed the phone through.

“Come here.” The automated voice called ominously, and you took a deep breath before you opened the bar door and headed towards the booth again, your notepad in hand. You parted the curtain and smiled at the mysterious man.

 What you saw shocked you a little. He’d taken the mask off, revealing his scarred face to you. You tried not to stare, you really did. Awkwardly, you maintained the smile as he stared up at you, brown eyes dark as though he was daring you to say a word. One was covered with an eyepatch.

The phone clicked away before the screen was presented, ‘Entertain me.’ The voice was absent this time.

You read the words and frowned, “I can offer you a food menu or a different drink, Sir.” You replied quietly, dreading the next words that were going to come out of his mouth, “Unfortunately we don’t have any live music…and other options are not in my job description.”

Tattooed fingers curled against the leather before he grinned, exposing, bright, white teeth in a vicious smile. His chest jumped before he gave out a breathy, long chuckle. He curled his finger again for you to properly step into the booth.

He typed on the phone again before holding it up for you to see, ‘I don’t want you to suck my cock. Sit. Talk.’

Suddenly, you felt a little bit stupid, “Talk? What about?” You were still suspicious of the man.

‘Your boss. He owes me something. I want to know more.’ He turned the phone back to himself and typed again, ‘Ever mention ChromeSkull?’

 Suddenly, you realised who he was. The personalised plates out the back of the bar, and the chromed mask in his lap. This was a dangerous man. Still, he was very capable of ending you now, with no one there to see.

“He doesn’t talk about business in the bar.” You swallowed nervously, “He only said he hoped he never saw your face in here again.” Your gut dropped as you realised either way, you might die.

‘Thanks, sweet thing.’ He typed and showed you before continuing, ‘Call me Jesse.’ You watched his face smile again and suddenly you realised that once he was very handsome. It looked like acid or chemical burn scarring. The mob liked to disfigure people as pay back sometimes, but you had an inkling his weren’t inflicted by the mafia.

‘What’s your name?’ He pushed the screen before your eyes as his fingers danced over the leather.

You cleared your throat and told him, “So are you here for payback?”

‘Something like that.’ He replied on screen, ‘Better company this time.’

Flattering but you still wanted out of the conversation. There wasn’t an opportunity to, however, because as you stood up to straighten yourself out, your boss walked into the booth.

 Judgemental eyes roved you up and down, spotting you playing with your skirt. Jesse was quick to turn and replaced his mask, before your boss could see, the medical adhesive painted along the seams and the area of his nose. He turned back to look at Antony, the owner, with the haunting black eyes of the chrome skull mask peering through him.

“Making yourself at home with my staff?” Antony shot as he pulled a cigarette from between his lips, his face twisted with a glare, “Pretty sure you’re not welcome here anymore.” He dragged a hand through his slicked back, brown hair and snarled viciously before he returned the cigarette to his lips for another nervous drag.

Jesse’s mask tilted before he pointed a finger through the curtains and let the automated voice speak for him, “Justin had no issue letting me in, Antony.” He continued, “Plus, you owe me.”

“If this is about that fucking weapons crate again. I swear to God I didn’t know it was rigged to blow.” He dragged on his cigarette again.

“You lost me a factory, Antony.” The automatic voice droned hauntingly, “And I still haven’t had the compensation.”

“You’ll get your money, shit face.” Antony’s hand twitched for his jacket.

 You panicked as Antony took a seat across from Jesse, his fingers steepled under his chin. It was tense, and you began to panic as Jesse loomed over in the man’s personal space. He was a giant, solid wall of power, and you instinctively took a step back.

Antony clicked at you, “Drinks. Pour them. One for our guest here too.” You nodded and dashed for another glass for Antony before shakily taking the bottle in your hand and pouring both of them shots.

Jesse ignored the drink as he took his silver briefcase and slammed it on top of the table. The wood shuddered under the force of the blow and you jumped as he snapped open the clips.

“Put your fucking knives away, Cromeans.” Antony scoffed.

Jesse slid his first, sharp hunting knife free from his hip and you swallowed as he took a camera from the case. The device had a stand that clipped to his shoulder and he snapped the little tripod on before tapping the top. A red light blinked on. Recording.

“Oh, so you’ve come for something to play with?” Antony laughed, “There’s a toy stood right next to you. Be my fucking guest!” He exclaimed.

 You gave a squeak as Jesse’s large hands grappled you by the waist, dragging you into his lap, your legs pinned between his own as he breathed down your neck. He trapped you as he reached for the box of black nitriles in his case. Methodically, he peeled one free at a time and tugged them over the black tattoos covering his hands. The black nitrile traced the edge of one knife before he span it once, twice, and then placed the edge of the blade against your neck. Your breath caught in your throat at the cold press of metal against your soft skin. His other hand trailed over the skin, his hot breath tickling your ear before he swiped the knife up and dragged the sharp side through your hair. You listened to him inhale before, tauntingly, he made a kissing noise next to your ear. The blade was replaced against your throat as he typed on the phone once more.

“I catch my own fish.” The voice droned before Jesse shook the phone teasingly in front of you, showing you the text he had typed out, ‘Though I don’t think I want to play with you, piggy. You’re too much of a deer.’

Antony scowled, “What the fuck does that mean…” He howled in agony as Jesse flicked the blade around again and slammed it through his hand. The fingers twitched before he drew his other knife and sliced the appendages free, pinning you in place with his legs as he watched blood spurt over the wood.

 Shock. You felt your heart burn as you wiggled backwards, closer to the killer’s chest before he peeled you free from his lap and dropped you back into the booth. Gruffly, Jesse slammed his bloodied hand over Antony’s mouth.

‘This piggy should have stayed home.’ His phone droned, again and again as the giant stood up, touching the tip of the hunting knife as he admired the shine of blood over the cold steel. With another flourish, he turned the saw half downwards and wrestled Antony over the wood, pinning him with a slam of his head before he dragged the saw downwards and watched skin and muscle part. He paused when Antony passed out and left the knife embedded in the man’s wrist as he looked back at you.

‘Look away.’ He typed with his clean hand. You did as you were asked, fear making you want to cry. He sawed the hand free and looked at the hand left, pinned to the table before he pealed his gloves free and brushed the bottom of your chin.

 “Look alive, sunshine.” The voice chittered, “Get moving.” It continued.

You opened your eyes and Jesse was quick to turn you away from the mess over the table.

“Up. Walk. Back exit.” The phone said. With a shuddering sigh, you got up. Jesse’s mask tilted before he offered his arm. You hooked your arm through his and almost cried as he shut the curtains and blocked you from the view of the other bar staff with his towering figure. His video was still recording.

“Why did you…” You were cut off by a sharp grip.

Jesse didn’t speak until you were both outside, his keys in one hand, snatched from the storage and  his phone held up to you in the other, “I taught them a lesson. They don’t fuck with me and get away with it.” He offered before he dragged you over to his car. You looked at the custom plates and the expensive brand. He laid his briefcase on the bonnet and sighed as he peeled free the chrome covered mask. Beneath was the same as before, heavily operated on with taught skin. A few scars were deep and heavy. His eye that was previously covered with an eyepatch was open, revealing itself as almost blind, the brown iris milky and covered. Still, he wasn’t a monster, just disfigured and evidently, through all the surgery, unhappy about what had occurred.

 “Staring is rude.” The phone whirred, “Should be staring elsewhere, sugar tits.”

You felt yourself go red, “You just killed a man! You don’t have any right to flirt with me after you just made me an accessory to murder!” You flew off the handle, “And now you’re taking me out back to end me too!”

Jesse grinned, white teeth clenched together dangerously as his knife curled and span idly, looking you up and down. He held up the phone nonchalantly, “No I’m not. I’m taking you home.”

“You…You’re joking.” You took a step backwards only for him to grab you once again, breathing in the smell of your hair as his knife traced down your chest. With a flick of his wrist he popped a button off your shirt.

His phone appeared in front of you again, ‘Home address.’

You swallowed and repeated your address for him quietly. He hummed behind you, the knife disappearing before he turned you to face him. His face dipped down to meet yours as he laid a single kiss over your lips.

‘Let’s go for a ride, baby.’

[icequeenoriginal]

The Pain of Secrets

Author’s Note: This was supposed to be fluffy, that was my original intent. But then my brain decided to make it super angsty. So I apologize. Also, I am not transgender. I’m using the information I learned online as well as from what friends who are have told me. I hoped I portrayed a transgender person correctly. I meant to finish this before the end of pride month but writer’s block did not let that happen. Stay safe everyone.

Summary: Roman hates secrets and he hates keeping them, but he still has one. Is it worth keeping from Virgil?

Warning: Fear of Rejection, transphobia, self-hatred, internalized transphobia, keeping secrets, crying, running away, surgery mention, not taking care of yourself, anxiety, divorce mentioned, inappropriate touching, bad past relationship, hurt/comfort, roman angst, body image issues, bad binding practices, fear of breaking up (Let me know if I missed anything)

Pairing: Prinxiety 

~ Roman hated secrets. Even the word would cause him to have an icky feeling in his chest. To have secrets, you have to lie to the people you care about. Secrets were the reason his parents weren’t together. His mother kept her emotions and suspension secret while his father kept his intimate relationship with a young coworker a secret. 

At age 9, Roman swore to his grieving mother when he found her crying in the kitchen in the middle of the night when he could sleep. The smile on his mother’s face was enough to make him never want to break that promise. 

That only lasted a couple of months and it was all his stupid body’s fault. If he had just been born in the right body, it wouldn’t be an issue.

You see, Roman wasn’t born a boy. Everyone told him he was a girl because he looked like one, but he didn’t feel like it. He knew he wasn’t but he didn’t know why.

He learned about the word transgender when his uncle took to a very fun and colorful parade that summer after he made his promise. It would later be the first of many Prides he attended and where his uncle met his other future uncle.

It took a few days for him to muster up the courage to tell his mother but his drive to never have a secret was the final push he needed.

His mom accepted him, she got him on HRT and even bought him his first binder. Though, he did notice how there seemed to now be a distance between them. They did fewer things together, his mother slipped up with pronouns, and always seemed like she was herself back from saying something. 

But it was fine because at least there were no secrets between them. 

“Everything is fine.” Roman would say as he ignored how much that hurt him.

“This is fine,” Roman said to himself as he only applied to colleges out of state. He and his mom just needed some time apart.

“Everything is great,” He told his mom through tears caused by the stress of school and being on his own. 

“It’s okay,” said Roman when his first boyfriend told him he couldn’t be with a ‘fake man’ anymore after a couple of months of dating.

“It’s fine,” said Roman his second boyfriend angrily dumped him when he found out that Roman is trans. Roman didn’t blame him, he hadn’t told him right away as he did with his first boyfriend. This was his punishment for it.

It was really all fine. Roman didn’t mind being alone, he could handle it just fine. He was fine with always coming home to an empty apartment and an empty bed. A home without someone to hold him, kiss him, reassure him.

…

No, no he couldn’t. But he was a good actor and every good actor can lie to themselves.

He, at age 25, decided to put off dating until after he got his top and bottom surgery. It just seemed like the easiest option. His HRT did as much as it could but it couldn’t get rid of that feeling he had every time he looked into the mirror and touched his chest. It was one of the few things he had gotten straight from his mother.

After a late-night of research, he came up with a plan. To get both surgeries, he needs 20,000 dollars in total. Damn you America and your expensive medical costs! Well, there isn’t anything he can do other than every time he got paid, he saves all the extra money he had left after paying his bills and groceries. It wasn’t fun, there was time he wanted to buy that expensive tablet or go to that bar but he wouldn’t touch the money. Not until he had enough.

It was the perfect plan, in his opinion, but the universe was never on his side. He went to the library one day to borrow a book since that was a fun free thing to do, and he accidentally bumped into a young man. After a quick apology, Roman noticed the man was holding a large book of fairy tales. That led to a two-hour debate about the messages of fairy tales.

The man’s name is Virgil and Roman was sure at that moment he is his soulmate.

They spent more of their days texting one another whenever they could. Their first few dates would consist of free things like walking through the park or sitting together in the library. It was lovely. It’s why Roman figured he didn’t have to tell him that he was trans. It wasn’t like they were going to become more than friends. Roman figured this is how their relationship would stay, sweet and simple. That was perfectly fine with him.

Then Virgil invited to dinner to ask him to be his boyfriend. Virgil told him he had never asked anyone else out before but he felt such a strong connection with Roman. Everything about that moment was perfect, the restaurant, Virgil, the music, everything.

It wasn’t until he got home did Roman realize he still hadn’t told Virgil his secret. Roman cried himself to sleep that night. 

After that first date, Virgil seemed to only take him to movies or dinners. Places that cost money, money Roman did not have living paycheck to paycheck. Virgil had a high paying office job so he said he didn’t mind. Roman still, at least once a month, would use his grocery money to buy fancy ingredients to make Virgil dinner and eat ramen for the rest of the week. It was nice, Roman had almost forgotten what it was like to go out.

Roman loves Virgil, he told him on their 5th date. He loved him so much that every day he would want to tell him his secret but the fear of losing Virgil would take over and make him chicken out.

That led him to today, almost a year later, sitting in Virgil’s apartment where he was staring at Virgil as his past flashed in front of his eyes like he was Angelica Schuyler during Satisfied.

Why? Because Virgil was inviting him to go to the beach. A place where you wear a swimsuit. Pushing aside how much he hated how he looked in a bathing suit, that meant he had to take off his shirt.

He was so screwed.

A cold hand jolted him out his thoughts so quickly that a small yelp escapes Roman’s lips. Roman scared eyes lock with Virgil’s loving and concerned eyes. 

“Ro? What’s wrong? Do you not want to go?” Virgil asks softly, gently rubbing his knuckles

“No! I do! I do!” Roman replies quickly, a bit too quickly to alleviate Virgil’s concern.

“Ro, princey, you don’t have to agree just because I suggested it. We can do something else.”

Roman could have burst into tears at that moment. Virgil was just so good to him. He should take the way out, it would just make everything easier. He oh so wanted to but the nagging voice in the back of his head shouted at him that it was a trick, that Virgil was testing him, secretly questioning why Roman wouldn’t want to.

So, Roman shook his head, “I do want to Virgil, I-I just need to check when I can take off of work. You know how busy the restaurant business is during the summer.” Roman replies nervously.

Virgil sighs, “Alright, I believe you.” Virgil leans back against the couch, “You should quit that awful waiter job, they demand so many hours from you and barely pay you enough.”

Roman stares off into the distance before replying, “I wish I could quit too but I need the money and you know how hard it is to get a new job.” Especially if you’re trans.

Virgil nodded, knowing that he was very lucky to have the job that he did, all thanks to his friend Janus. Still, he hated how the light behind Roman’s eyes dim every day he is at that job and the physical strain it had on Roman’s gorgeous body. He wishes there was something he could do that wouldn’t seem like a handout. It would be too much of a blow to Roman’s pride.

Virgil smiles, he has a perfect idea. He turns to Roman and asks, “Roman, what would you think about--”

Roman whines in pain and Virgil’s eyes widen in fear. “Are you alright?!”

Roman nods and waves his hand dismissively. “Just chest--I mean stomach pains. I’ll be right back.” Roman runs off to the bathroom. As soon as he locks the door, Roman rips off his shirt and binder. He gasps, taking a deep breath of fresh air. 

He knows he shouldn’t be wearing his binder all day, he knows it is not healthy but he can’t help himself. He rather be what (he thinks) Virgil wants than be comfortable. 

Meanwhile, Virgil is frowning and whispers, “Hey Ro? Want to move in with me?”

Roman pants as he sits on the toilet. His chest was killing him but he could not care less. He took a painkiller from Virgil’s medicine cabinet. Swallowing it dry, he puts his binder and shirt back through the pain. He gets up and leans up against the wall to catch his breath.

“This is fine,” he mumbles to himself like he does every morning, “Everything is fine” ~

Two weeks had pasted and Roman still hadn’t given Virgil an answer. Virgil didn’t bring it up, he knew Roman would give him an answer when he was good and ready.

Roman was pacing, in a big shirt and boxers, with his phone in his hand, open on it was his bank account. 

Once he got home from Virgil’s apartment, he quickly checked how much money he had saved. He was surprised to see that he had $8,654 saved up. It had been a while since he last checked. He quickly called around to get top surgery that fit into his budget.

He had a new plan. He would get the surgery, he would go to the beach with Virgil about 3 weeks later, and Virgil would see his surgery scars. Then Roman tell him and they could figure it all out there. If Virgil broke up, 

No more avoiding it.

His phone began to vibrate and Roman vibrate and Roman quickly answers it, “Hello? Oh hi, Dr. Travis!”

This doctor had excellent reviews and she was to be trusted. One pleasant conversation later and Roman had an appointment set for a week later for $6,000 with insurance covering some of the cost. He also calls his job, who approves his two weeks of medical leave.

He squeals as soon as he hangs up, this was going to be wonderful. He had to celebrate.

So he calls Virgil, “Stormcloud?”

“Hey Ro, what’s up?” Roman smiles, “I have great news. Four weeks from Tuesday, I can spend the entire day at the beach with you.”

“Jeez, your job really won’t let you catch a break, can they?”

Roman chuckles, deciding it was best not to mention he was one of the last days off he had after the ones he is using for his appointments and recovery for this. “Well, in any case. I would like to see you before then. I’m working the early shift tomorrow so I’ll be done by 1.”

Roman could hear Virgil smiling on the other side of the line, “Well, you’re in luck Princey. I only have one big meeting after lunch tomorrow. How about we meet for lunch, I hide you in my office while I go to this meeting and then we can go back to my place at 5?” “That sounds perfectly wonderful.”

~

The lunch was nice. They went to a cheap sandwich shop that was close to Virgil’s work and had a small debate on whether or not putting mayo on Salami was a good or bad thing. 

Roman almost immediately regretted agreeing to sit in Virgil’s office. He sat silently, and almost immediately, chest started to ache. Even worse, Virgil’s office needed a key to get into, one that Virgil only had because it was his ID card. Something about security or whatever.

Roman sat in Virgil’s office chair for 3 hours, he kept time on his phone. The second Virgil opened the door, Roman practically threw himself into Virgil’s arms.

“Missed me?”

“Something like that.”

They took the subway home, and Virgil could almost immediately tell something was wrong. Roman seemed to keep fidgeting and had on a fake smile. Virgil contemplated saying something, but by the time his anxiety let him decide, the train had arrived at their stop.

Virgil figured Roman would tell him in due time. Right?

Once they arrive, Virgil sighs as he pulls off his tie. “I am going to take a shower, you can set up a movie or something.” Roman smiles and kisses Virgil, “Don’t be long.” “Excuse me princess, but you take over two hours in the showers, I will take all the time I want.” Roman laughs, “Touché, touché. Go on now. Hurry your cute butt back.” Roman gently pats Virgil’s butt to emphasize his point. Virgil sent him a playful glare and heads off to his bedroom. 

Roman smile drops and he immediately takes off his shirt and binder. He loudly gasps and rubs his chest to ease the pain in his chest. He sighs and stretches, Virgil usually takes 30 minutes in the shower, so he was going to give him a 30-minute break.

Or he was...until he turns and sees Virgil standing at the end of the living room where the hallway is attached. He, like Roman, did not have his shirt on. Neither his pants. 

Virgil opens and closes his mouth a few times before saying, “I forgot to mention, I-I-I have a bottle of wine.” He gestures vaguely to the kitchen,

Roman covers his chest with his arms, tears appearing quickly.

Virgil takes a step closer, “Ro...have you been...this whole time…?”

“I have to go,” Roman says as he runs to the door, shirt and binder in hand.

“Ro, wait--” Virgil makes a grab for Roman’s arm but misses as Roman runs out of the apartment. Virgil watches him go, knowing he shouldn’t run out in his boxers. He begins pacing, his nerves are on an all-time high, and he tries to steady his breathing so he can come up with a plan to talk to Roman.

Because they really, really, need to talk.

~ Roman didn’t stop running until he got home. Once he got in, thank goodness his keys were safely tucked into his pocket, he threw himself onto his bed and broken down. That had to be the most humiliating moment of his entire life. Virgil’s face had said it all, he was definitely breaking up with him. 

He sobs and sobs for what it seems like hours until he tires himself out. He walks up at 4 am to 10 miss calls and 30 texts from Virgil.

From: Stormcloud

Ro, please call me back.

Princey, let’s just talk, please.

Babe, please, let me know if you’re okay. 

I’m not mad. I just want to talk.

Roman. I’m not going to say what I have to say through text. Call me, please. 

Roman shuts off his phone. He can’t face Virgil right now. He can’t face anything right now. His only saving grace is that he has the night shift at work. He closes his eyes and had a restless sleep. 

His dreams were of Virgil walking farther and farther away from him. No matter how much Roman pleaded and begged for him to stay, Virgil just kept walking.

Once he walks up, he remembers reading somewhere that dreams tell the truth, and he knows his truth: Virgil does not want to be with him.

~

Roman ignores Virgil’s calls and texts between the Bad Day, as Roman dubbed it, and his surgery day. Though it started because Roman couldn’t face him, it then became just because of the surgery. 

Roman didn’t like his job, for the most part, but he did have a friend. His name is Patton and he is the nicest person Roman has ever known. Patton was one of the few people who knew Roman is trans and he is a bug supporter in Roman’s life. Patton let him cover all of his shifts so Roman wouldn’t lose money on his time off. He was exhausted from all the work, but the happiness of what is to come pushed him through it. He stopped checking his phone as often as he normally would, despite Patton pushing him to go talk to Virgil.

”It may bit be as bad as you think kiddo,” Patton would say, but Roman was not sure.

Anytime he wasn’t working, he was making trips to the grocery store for his treatment or moving everything off of high shelves since he is not allowed to stretch his arms.

His bottom drawers are filled with baby wipes, scar cream, and ice packs. He also bought big comfy sweaters and ice cream to keep himself comfy. 

Roman couldn’t sleep the day before the surgery. He felt every emotion attacking him at once. This was going to be one of the most important days of his life.

The surgery itself wasn’t as bad as he expected, though the anesthesia probably had something to do with it. He found out later he sang a love song to “a very lucky young man” through the 2 hours and 30 minutes. He was embarrassed, to say the least.

Finally came time to see the scars. He froze when the doctor told him. He was lucky to be facing away to the doctor. Could he do this? Would the scars look bad? Would this actually make him as happy as he hoping?

He let out a watery chuckle, he sounded like his boyfriend--his ex-boyfriend. Thinking of Virgil reminded him of all the breathing exercises he learned from Virgil.

He takes a deep breath for four seconds, holds it for seven seconds, and lets it out for eight seconds.

After doing it a few more times, he turns to the mirror. The tears are almost immediate. The scars were bright red but they were thin, as thin as his pointer finger. His chest was as flat as he hoped it would be. This is the happiest he has ever been.

He shakes Dr. Travis’s hand since he is unable to say words. Dr. Travis simply smiles at him and pats his back.

“Now sit down, I have to put the bandages on. Now, make sure to change them every day.” Dr. Travis says.

”Got it, thank you, doctor.” Roman says, managing to get his voice back.

”You’re welcome.” Dr. Travis replies as she gently wraps the bandages around his chest, ”Now, do you have someone coming to pick you up?”

”Yes, of course, as you told me to,” He wasn’t exactly lying, he was planning to call an Uber.

”Good, because all you have to worry about is recovering, okay?” she says with a smile.

Roman nods and soon after, Dr. Travis finishes putting on the bandages. He has to stay in the hospital for another hour to rest before he is properly discharged. He spends most of the hour taking a nap and only 15 minutes on the phone with Patton, which seems strange to him. Roman, once he is allowed to leave, puts on his red zip-up hoodie, ignoring the feeling of his heart pulling because he remembers Virgil buying it for him and heads out of the hospital. Dr. Travis gives him a treatment plan on the way out and Roman puts it into his pocket.

The Uber ride is pleasant enough, the driver lets him drift off in the backseat. He is woken up by the car jerking to a stop in front of his apartment building. He scrambles out of the car while apologizing to the driver. 

He runs up the stairs to his apartment, each step making him more tired and as each second passes, the painkiller wears off more and more.

He weakly smiles as his door, knowing that a few behind it is his bed that he can pass out in.

He opens the door and is so shocked to see Virgil behind it that he can’t bring himself to move. Virgil says nothing as he walks over to him. Virgil wraps his arms around Roman’s waist and moves him into the apartment.

Roman yelps and finds his legs walking up to move with Virgil, ”W-W-What are you doing here?”

Virgil whispers, ”We’ll talk later, you need to get to bed.”

Roman doesn’t argue as Virgil half drags him into his bedroom. Roman lays down and Virgil reaches for his hoodie zipper. Roman tries to push his hand away but Virgil is much faster than him. Roman let's out a small whine as Virgil unzips the hoodie. Virgil shushes him and gives him a painkiller and some water. Roman happily drinks it. 

As he is falling asleep, Roman says, ”I love you V…”

”I know, I love you too Ro.” is the last thing Roman hears before passing out.

~

Roman wakes up two hours later so feeling something cold touch his chest. He slowly opens his eyes to see Virgil putting an ice pack wrapped in a paper towel on his chest.

Virgil softly smiles at him, “Hey Sleeping Beauty, welcome back to the land of the living.” Virgil gently cups his face. “Stay still so that the ice can do its job. I’ll order food in a bit and put on a movie. What would you like to watch?”

Roman stares at him dumbfounded, but Virgil was not fazed. He fluffs Roman’s pillow without uttering a word. He then rubs Roman’s cheek and Roman shutters at the soft and intimate touch. 

“What? How? Why…?” Roman had so many questions he wants to ask. 

“When you weren’t answering your phone, I went to your job and I saw you working. That relaxed me enough to let you have some space. I still would walk by every day, hoping you’d see me, and maybe you would come. When I came by earlier today, your coworker came out and invited me in.” “Patton?” “Patton. He said he noticed me walking by and I told him about you. He spent his break talking to me about you. You have a good friend.” Virgil says with a smile.

“I know, Pat’s great.” Roman can’t help but smile back. “I’m guessing he told you about the surgery?” “Yup so I came here. Knowing you, you wouldn’t ask for help and try to take care of yourself.” Roman looks away and pouts, and Virgil kisses the pout away. The kiss makes Roman stare at him confused, but Virgil just continues, “So I asked your building’s maintenance guy to let me in to surprise you. I did not think that work, you should have seen me, I was so nervous, but he said he’s seen you let me in enough times and he said this was one time only so now I am here.”

Roman blinks at Virgil for a few seconds, trying to figure out what he says. Virgil sits there, so patient and understanding that it only manages to confuse “But why?”

“Why what?”

Roman began to cry, but he is too tired to care. “Why would you want to take care of me? I’ve been keeping a huge secret from you for over a year, I’ve been lying to you over a year. I haven’t been as intimate as I deserve to be and you probably desire to because I can’t be. I will never be a true man physically, no matter what I do. And the way you found out, not from me telling you. You should hate me, be mad, anything. I wouldn't hold it against you.”

Virgil sits on the bed and puts his arm around Roman, “Roman, I don’t know who told you otherwise, but when I tell someone I love them, I love all of them. Especially you, you are my boyfriend. You are everything I want and more. I love your body, I’ve loved it since we met. I wouldn’t care if we never had sex, if it met I could be with you. And don’t call yourself anything but a man, because I will fight you about it and have Patton help me.”

Roman laughs but stops, his insecurities taking over once more, “But the way you were looking at me that day…you looked so disgusted”

“I wasn’t, I will never disgusted with you. I was scared. I saw the binder and how red your chest was. I was scared that you were hurting yourself for me.” “Oh...I’m sorry.” Roam replies while lower his head. Virgil tilts it up, “Don’t apologize to me, you owe an apology to your body. I’ll make you do it too.” Roman pulls Virgil into a kiss and Virgil happily kisses back. They will be okay, actually better than okay. Virgil will take of Roman his whole recovery, taking his vacation time to do so. They would spend the time talking, finally no secrets between them. Virgil will ask him to move in as he drives him home from his checkup with Dr. Travis and Roman will happily say yes. Roman will finally let Virgil help me and Roman saves up the money for his bottom surgery and gets a better job with Virgil’s recommendation. Though he will miss working with Patton, they will hang out every weekend to make up for it. It will be a wonderful future.

But right now, they both just need to kiss and breathe because they are happy and together. 

~

Taglist

I do not have a general Sanders Sides but if you would like to be tagged in all things Sanders Sides I post, let me know.

[the-accidentals]

Chapter 1

Laura walked in through the door of her shoddy apartment, the lights flickering on as she slumped down on her stained sofa, she wanted to order takeaway but knew she didn't have the money, life was way to expensive and this week had been a pile of horse shit if any one had been, her car was in the garage after it broke down a couple days ago, the bill was so high she would need to not eat for a month. Before getting off shift today she had seen a family of five burn, only 2 getting out alive, a baby and the father. She tried to not let her job get to her but fighting fires was the easiest part, watching the families as they realise that not everyone made it is the worst, you can feel the guilt in the air. We are trained to move on, you can't take every death personally or it kills you from the inside but whenever i see a family torn apart so abruptly the worry stays on my heart, seeing happy families destroyed was definitely the worst part of her job but laura still loved the job and everyone struggles with it so she just tries to leave the worry at work,but today it followed her home, there was just something about today, the fire had started in the oldests room, probably faulty electrics, she was barely out of primary school, just starting to think she was a grown up, it had already killed the middle kid by the time anyone realised and the mother just breathed in to much smoke, it was come and go for a bit but in the end she didn't even make it to the hospital. A happy family reduced to two, a morning father and a 2 month old girl, how she survived I don't know. All that innocence and such young lives torn away so quickly.

Laura stood up shaking her head, it's not good to stay focused on the bad things, noodles and beer and an early night and she can sort everything else out in the morning.She has parents she can beg for money,they won't be happy but they wont let her starve,she just wishes she didn't have to call. For tonight she resigned herself to the sofa with a bottle of cheap beer and some veg noodles, strolling through the internet. Eventually the sun was long gone and the shame came creeping back, she was sitting here running from her responsibilities with beer, noodles and a blanket around her, just trying to hide away on the internet, she was a grown woman, an adult. She closed down reddit and opened her emails, this was an adult thing, she could clear her inbox. Ad,ad,ad,scam,ad,ad, important thing she should of replied too, she was trying to be grown up but that was slightly too grown up, ad, bank statement, don't want to look at that, oh nice easy one, the unit chief is trying to set up a quiz night, he needs to know when i'm free, i can do that. After a couple minutes of checking her calendar, which was embarrassingly empty she had formed an adult but chill response. There! She had been an adult, she had written an email and deleted a few more. She scanned over the rest hoping they could wait a few more days until a quiet moment at work, one caught her eye, an email from a trial company, she did a couple of studies a few years back to get some extra cash and extra cash was just what she needed, she looked into it, it was a medical study looking into a mental health drug, they needed people with diagnosed mental illness so she knew she would fit right in. Drug trials were not her thing but the pay was pretty good, two injections a week, £50 each, it lasted 12 months but you could leave whenever, just under £5,000 for the whole year, she probably wouldn't hang on that long but long enough that she could fix her beat up honda and still eat. Honestly how could she resist? The testing facility was a 15 minute walk away from the fire station as well. Fuck me if was perefect, no nagging from anyone about “being an adult” and “looking after your finances”. Laura finally went to bed that night, slightly tipsy, exhausted but slightly less stressed.

Laura had 2 days until she got paid and she had her first appointment for the trial today, it was a rolling study so there was no set start date. She had promised steve, the mechanic down the road, that he would get paid the bill as soon as she got paid so that he would carry on working with no money upfront, to be honest he totally owned lorna one, she had set him up with an ex of hers about a year back and she had never seen him happier. She walked up to a little privately owned clinic that she had never noticed before, it was smart but felt way to clinical, the lights were so bright it burnt and like all of these places the smell of cleaner was so strong you could taste it, she popped her phone into the pocket of her oversized jacket as she came to the front desk, the lady at the desk looked he up and down, I suppose she didn't really look like she belonged, it didn't look like a cheap sort of place.” hi i'm here for the trial, umm laura burmwell” laura muttered into the ground,she hated reception staff, they always seemed super judgy and this lady was no different, she tapped away at her screen for a few very awkward moments and sighed, pointing me to a section of chairs near the back. Pulling her earphones out she landed in a seat.

“Dont worry she wasn't very nice to me either” a voice chucked next to her, a small grinning woman sat there tapping on her phone, laura smiled back, she was gorgeous, long black hair down to her waist, out shining laura’s dirty blonde mess any day.

“ I’m glad she doesn't just hate me” Lorna joked, internally panicking. Why is such a cute woman actually talking to me? She suddenly felt amazingly underdressed, she was sat next to a stunning women who was clearly ready to go to work in a nice yellow dress and a jacket and she is there look like a gay hobo, hair up in yesterdays bun and a t shirt that has dinosaurs on it, at she is wearing smartish jeans. “I’m laura, are you here for the study?” she smiled.

“Preet, yeah, i'm hoping they can cure the fuckery going on in my head before the end of it” she chuckled but I could see the blush forming over her skin as she processed what she had said, Laura just snorted, tapping her leg on the linoleum floor, trying to think of something to say, her mind in overdrive.

“ nervous?” Preet questioned.

“i just haven't been in a drug trial for years, what if I grow four heads or something?” She joked, Preet actually burst out laughing, tears starting to form in her eyes, which got Laura laughing too, they just sat there trying to hide there laughter from the rest of the very serious looking members of the waiting room, finally after about 5 minutes they both calmed down enough to speak, laughter still glistening in their eyes.

“ but seriously these drugs will of been tested for years before it gets to these sorts of tests, its perfectly safe, they are just proving it and checking out side effects, im sure you wont grow any more heads.” At that moment Preets name was called over the speaker system, Secretly both of them were hoping they had been forgotten about so they could sit here and chat all day but neither of them said it.

“See you later Laura” Preet called as she picked up her stuff and started to follow the now waiting nurse.

Lorna went back to her music, trying to pull a stupid grin off her face.

1941- September 5th

I walked into surgery, on the bench was the patient, a young soldier, barley 19. He was burning up. Nurse Weber was standing there, trying to cool him down while setting up. He had a gun wound that was starting to get infected and the bullet had yet been removed. We set to work, removing infected tissue and finding bits of the shattered bullet but further we got the more futile it became, he kept losing blood and nothing we could do would keep his temperature down, he was pretty much dead in front of us. The nurse looked up, exhaustion in every wrinkle in her face, defeat in her eyes, im sure she had been on duty when he came on, over 10 hours earlier. With an air of defect I started sawing him up, giving him a dose of penicillin and covering the wound with gauze. I doubt he would make the night but we had tried. I removed my bloodied gloves and left. Hoping to be able to rest now. My eyes started over at the dying children and men who fill the halls. when will the war end, when will the suffering stop, have not enough died for the righteous cause? I started towards the boards, I was still on duty for another few days before I could head home. As i passed through the corridors i passed a officer asking about his son, every has someone fighting in this war to end all wars, he came to a halt in front of me desperately asking for his sons conduction, i had treated him when he first got brought in, he was going to make it but he no longer had a left leg, a bomb had hit near trench and had impaled his leg. As he quickly dismissed me, relief clear on his face, you could clearly see the shine on his Swastika pin. “Heil Hitler” I murmured as he marched away into the chaos

This is the first part of a longer story and my first time doing any serious writing, any advice welcome! I know it isn't perfect but I tried so I hope you enjoy it xx

[wuzzybear]

The Accidentals- A bad fucking week. part 1

A group of broke adults join a medical trial hoping for some easy cash but instead get a lot more than what they wanted. There is something bad at play and they need to work it out if they ever want to be normal, not that they were normal before.

 Laura walked in through the door of her shoddy apartment, the lights flickering on as she slumped down on her stained sofa, she wanted to order takeaway but knew she didn't have the money, life was way to expensive and this week had been a pile of horse shit if any one had been, her car was in the garage after it broke down a couple days ago, the bill was so high she would need to not eat for a month.  Before getting off shift today she had seen a family of five burn, only 2 getting out alive, a baby and the father.  She tried to not let her job get to her but fighting fires was the easiest part, watching the families as they realise that not everyone made it is the worst, you can feel the guilt in the air. We are trained to move on, you can't take every death personally or it kills you from the inside but whenever i see a family torn apart so abruptly the worry stays on my heart, seeing happy families destroyed was definitely the worst part of her job but laura still loved the job and everyone struggles with it so she just tries to leave the worry at work,but today it followed her home, there was just something about today, the fire had started in the oldest’s room, probably faulty electrics, she was barely out of primary school, just starting to think she was a grown up, it had already killed the middle kid by the time anyone realised and the mother just breathed in to much smoke, it was come and go for a bit but in the end she didn't even make it to the hospital. A happy family reduced to two, a morning father and a 2 month old girl, how she survived I don't know. All that innocence and such young lives torn away so quickly. 

 Laura stood up shaking her head, it's not good to stay focused on the bad things, noodles and beer and an early night and she can sort everything else out in the morning.She has parents she can beg for money,they won't be happy but they wont let her starve,she just wishes she didn't have to call.  For tonight she resigned herself to the sofa with a bottle of cheap beer and some veg noodles, strolling through the internet. Eventually the sun was long gone and the shame came creeping back, she was sitting here running from her responsibilities with beer, noodles and a blanket around her, just trying to hide away on the internet, she was a grown woman, an adult. She closed down Reddit and opened her emails, this was an adult thing, she could clear her inbox. Ad,ad,ad,scam,ad,ad, important thing she should of replied too, she was trying to be grown up but that was slightly too grown up, ad, bank statement, don't want to look at that, oh nice easy one, the unit chief is trying to set up a quiz night, he needs to know when i'm free, i can do that. After a couple minutes of checking her calendar, which was embarrassingly empty she had formed an adult but chill response. There! She had been an adult, she had written an email and deleted a few more. She scanned over the rest hoping they could wait a few more days until a quiet moment at work, one caught her eye, an email from a trial company, she did a couple of studies a few years back to get some extra cash and extra cash was just what she needed, she looked into it, it was a medical study looking into a mental health drug, they needed people with diagnosed mental illness so she knew she would fit right in. Drug trials were not her thing but the pay was pretty good, two injections a week, £50 each, it lasted 12 months but you could leave whenever, just under £5,000 for the whole year, she probably wouldn't hang on that long but long enough that she could fix her beat up Honda and still eat. Honestly how could she resist? The testing facility was a 15 minute walk away from the fire station as well. Fuck me if was perfect, no nagging from anyone about “being an adult” and “looking after your finances”. Laura finally went to bed that night, slightly tipsy, exhausted but slightly less stressed.

Laura had 2 days until she got paid and she had her first appointment for the trial today, it was a rolling study so there was no set start date. She had promised Steve, the mechanic down the road, that he would get paid the bill as soon as she got paid so that he would carry on working with no money upfront, to be honest he totally owned Laura one, she had set him up with an ex of hers about a year back and she had never seen him happier. She walked up to a little privately owned clinic that she had never noticed before, it was smart but felt way to clinical, the lights were so bright it burnt and like all of these places the smell of cleaner was so strong you could taste it, she popped her phone into the pocket of her oversized jacket as she came to the front desk, the lady at the desk looked he up and down, I suppose she didn't really look like she belonged, it didn't look like a cheap sort of place.” hi i'm here for the trial, umm.. Laura Burmwell” Laura muttered into the ground,she hated reception staff, they always seemed super judgy and this lady was no different, she tapped away at her screen for a few very awkward moments and sighed, pointing me to a section of chairs near the back. Pulling her earphones out she landed in a seat. 

“Don’t worry she wasn't very nice to me either” a voice chucked next to her, a small grinning woman sat there tapping on her phone, Laura smiled back, she was gorgeous, long black hair down to her waist, out shining Laura's dirty blonde mess any day.

 “I’m glad she doesn't just hate me” Lorna joked, internally panicking. Why is such a cute woman actually talking to me? She suddenly felt amazingly under dressed, she was sat next to a stunning women who was clearly ready to go to work in a nice yellow dress and a jacket and she is there look like a gay hobo, hair up in yesterdays bun and a t shirt that has dinosaurs on it, at she is wearing smartish jeans. “I’m Laura, are you here for the study?” she smiled. 

“Preet, yeah, i'm hoping they can cure the fuckery going on in my head before the end of it” she chuckled but I could see the blush forming over her skin as she processed what she had said, Laura just snorted, tapping her leg on the linoleum floor, trying to think of something to say, her mind in overdrive.

“Nervous?” Preet questioned.

 “i just haven't been in a drug trial for years, what if I grow four heads or something?” She joked, Preet actually burst out laughing, tears starting to form in her eyes, which got Laura laughing too, they just sat there trying to hide there laughter from the rest of the very serious looking members of the waiting room, finally after about 5 minutes they both calmed down enough to speak, laughter still glistening in their eyes.

“ but seriously these drugs will of been tested for years before it gets to these sorts of tests, its perfectly safe, they are just proving it and checking out side effects, I’m sure you wont grow any more heads.”  At that moment Preet’s name was called over the speaker system, Secretly both of them were hoping they had been forgotten about so they could sit here and chat all day but neither of them said it. 

“See you later Laura” Preet called as she picked up her stuff and started to follow the now waiting nurse. 

Lorna went back to her music, trying to pull a stupid grin off her face. 

1941- September 5th

I walked into surgery, on the bench was the patient, a young soldier, barley 19. He was burning up. Nurse Weber was standing there, trying to cool him down while setting up. He had a gun wound that was starting to get infected and the bullet had yet been removed. We set to work, removing infected tissue and finding bits of the shattered bullet but further we got the more futile it became, he kept losing blood and nothing we could do would keep his temperature down, he was pretty much dead in front of us. The nurse looked up, exhaustion in every wrinkle in her face, defeat in her eyes, I’m sure she had been on duty when he came on, over 10 hours earlier. With an air of defect  I started sawing him up, giving him a dose of penicillin and covering the wound with gauze. I doubt he would make the night but we had tried. I removed my bloodied gloves and left. Hoping to be able to rest now. My eyes started over at the dying children and men who fill the halls. when will the war end, when will the suffering stop, have not enough died for the righteous cause? I started towards the boards, I was still on duty for another few days before I could head home. As i passed through the corridors i passed a officer asking about his son, every has someone fighting in this war to end all wars, he came to a halt in front of me desperately asking for his sons condition, i had treated him when he first got brought in, he was going to make it but he no longer had a left leg, a bomb had hit near trench and had impaled his leg. As he quickly dismissed me, relief clear on his face, you could clearly see the shine on his Swastika pin. “Heil Hitler” I murmured as he marched away into the chaos.

This is my first attempt writing, please tell me how to improve! this is the first part of a longer story.

[ithappensoffstage]

hi i’m having a lot of feelings about trans!billy hargrove rn like maybe it adds another layer to his dads abuse and maybe he saved up all year in cali to get top surgery and that’s why they moved and that’s why billy’s shirtless all the time bc goddamn it max i paid good money to be allowed to not wear a shirt and all the working out and hypermasculinity and fights (and i know it’s not super realistic but GOD i just haven’t seen any trans content in the harringrove fandom and i need it

It’s never been my personal headcanon but it’s a great one!

Billy came out to his mom first. She and Billy saved up all their money but then Mom left Neil and Billy feels like he can’t talk to anybody, that he has no allies. He lashes out. He’s aggressive, out of control, sees the boys picking on the girls and the smaller boys and knows what he needs to do to belong, to make sure he’s never seen as weak.

When Max comes into his life, Billy hates her. He doesn’t want a little sister with all that stupid girly makeup, dolls, and toys. But she latches onto her big brother and eventually he confides in her, too. They start the surgery fund again. He gets it, surfing shirtless with pride, before he’s moved to Hawkins, Indiana.

Although pretty high on the food chain at his old school, Billy immediately moves in as King of Hawkins High. He’s got the crown. He’s got the title. He’s untouchable. Except–there’s this idiot with huge hair and a sunshine smile who plays a decent basketball game. And Billy can see secrets in those big brown eyes; he wants to sit under the stars and hear every one of them while holding this boy’s hand. And who knows, maybe he’ll share some of his own, too.

I ship Harringrove SO. HARD. I’ve been an avid supporter of this ship and Billy in general since S2, so feel free to come yell anytime. Thanks for the asks!

[artificialqueens]

Sweet like Sugar (Branjie) - Delia

AN: Hey lovelies! This is my first time writing fic, so please be gentle but also let me know what you think…a little Branjie sugar mommy for your nerves x ps: if you have any questions, comments or concerns feel free to hit me up on @thvnderfuckz pps: tw for some, very minor, implied daddy kink

BLH

25/F/New York City

I’m a 25 year old dancer from Toronto, working to start my career. I like fashion, nights out, and travelling. Seeking a partner who is fun, adventurous, and willing to support me in pursuit of my dream.

Brooke Lynn read over her bio for what must have been the seventh time in as many minutes and let out a sigh. Each draft that she’d written had sounded more robotic than the last. It’d been a long time since she had to write anything like this, having deleted Tinder, Bumble, and HER off her phone not long after she left Toronto. Since moving to New York, she’d discovered that she much preferred going out and finding women to hook up with in person. With her long blonde hair, dancer’s physique, and innate flirtiness, it was easy enough to find someone willing to take her home for the night. Easier, at least, than talking to a girl on an app for weeks, only to find out that she was interested in a long term commitment, and having to deal with their messy emotions after Brooke told them that she wasn’t interested. If there was one thing that she did not do, it was relationships.

And now, she was trying to get paid to be in one.

She’d be lying if she said that she never thought she’d be in a position like this. From the time Brooke had told her friends and family that she’d wanted to pursue dance as a full time career, she’d been given the “wouldn’t you rather something more secure” speech more times, and by more people than she could be bothered to count. Even her older sister Katya, who’d chosen to make abstract semi-sacrilegious art her vocation in life, had tried to suggest to her that she do something with a future that was less uncertain. But Brooke knew that she was born to dance, no matter what anyone tried to tell her to the contrary. If anything, their doubt fuelled her drive, and made it all the sweeter when she’d been offered a role in ensemble of the Broadway production of Moulin Rouge! upon her graduation from Ryerson. The moment that she’d stepped off the plane at JFK and stepped into the apartment that she would be sharing with another ensemble member from the show, Scarlet, she felt as though she was living her wildest dreams come true.

In all of her excitement at the time, Brooke forgot that the most wonderful dreams often lead to the harshest wake ups.

Four months into her run, the cast began to notice a dwindling number of fans at the stage door after each performance. Five months into her run, cast and crew alike began whispering about finding new jobs soon. Six months into her run, on a particularly humid Sunday in July, the cast and crew were gathered by the production team before everyone left the theatre and were told that the show would be closing at the beginning of September, after the Labour Day weekend. Brooke immediately started panicking at the prospect of being out of a job in one of the most expensive cities in the world. There was nothing she wanted less than to have to move back home to Toronto with her tail between her legs.

It had been two years since Moulin Rouge! closed, and although Brooke had managed to avoid making the move back home, she hadn’t been able to get a job performing since. She was always too tall, or too technical, or didn’t have enough personality. She’d been able to find a job in the meantime, teaching classes at a dance studio in Tribeca, but the money she made from that was barely enough to cover her necessities. It certainly didn’t cover luxuries such as brunch with your ex-roommate, as Brooke found out after her credit card was declined at her and Scarlet’s bi-weekly date. She barely had time to try and form an apology before she witnessed Scarlet reaching into her purse and placing a crisp one hundred dollar bill on the table, telling the waitress to keep the sixty dollars in change. Her embarrassed expression transformed into one of jaw-dropped shock as the redhead pulled her from the restaurant.

On the walk back to the subway, Scarlet revealed to Brooke that she’d been various “mutually beneficial relationships” with different men since she’d first moved to the city when she was 19, and that it had been her main source of income even while she was performing.

“It’s easy money, plus it’s kind of empowering,” explained Scarlet in her low voice, which still held a hint of the drawl indicative of her Southern upbringing. “It’s like, they have the money but I have all the emotional power. Without me generously donating my time to them, all these men have are their frigid marriages, or soul sucking jobs. A lot of the time the only thing standing between these powerful, rich men and a complete nervous break is me. And if that’s not power, I don’t know what is. So if I have to laugh at a few bad jokes and kiss a couple of CEOs to be able to live the kind of life I want, all while knowing that I could end any of these men at any given moment, then so be it.”

Oddly inspired by her friend’s speech, Brooke downloaded the sugar dating app onto her phone later that day.

And now here she was, sitting in front of her laptop at 11:00 pm on a Saturday night, drinking a bottle of wine and stress reading her three sentence bio for at least the tenth time. Fuck it, she thought, this is as good as it’s gonna get.

After clicking the “submit” button, Brooke was redirected to a page showing all of the potential sugar daddies in her area. As she scrolled through pages upon pages of photos of headless torsos, she became increasingly regretful of her decision to not filter out men immediately.

CEToEs

Disgusting.

KinkyExec

Nope.

DominantDaddy

Absolutely not.

Brooke was a lesbian, and had known that since she was 14. However, Scarlet told her that there were far more sugar daddies than sugar mommies in the New York area, and that a lot of the time the men didn’t necessarily even want sex. But as she clocked the usernames of several of the daddies on the app, it was clear that the redhead had either lied to her or was somehow the most blissfully oblivious girl in the city.

The blonde promptly returned to her settings page and deselected men as an interest. When she returned to the home page, she was delighted to see the profiles of fifty-or-so women pop up. She began scrolling again, hoping that someone would catch her eye.

WorldsMostPunkRockMoms

Meh. The two blonde women in the thumbnail picture were definitely beautiful, but Brooke didn’t know how she felt about getting involved with a couple who had a child.

Detoxicant

The woman in this picture looked like she’d had a lot of plastic surgery. Still, she was hot. Brooke tapped the little heart icon next to the photo and continued scrolling.

Toward the bottom of the page there was one profile that had a little green dot next to the thumbnail. Brooke took a little comfort in the fact that she wasn’t the only one on this app at this time on a weekend night. She clicked on the profile and two pictures filled her screen. The first was a headless torso shot of a woman wearing an oversized Versace t-shirt as a dress. Although her face was out of frame, Brooke could tell that the woman’s hair was a caramel brown, at least at the tips, and went to just below her collarbone. The second image was another faceless picture, but in this one the woman was wearing a spaghetti strapped red dress, showing off her deeply tanned skin and an, in Brooke’s opinion, weirdly specific chest tattoo of a hairless cat atop a red rose. The bio beneath the pictures read:

V 23/F/New York City

no face pics because i gotta stay lowkey. promise i’m not gonna kill you or anything like that, just lookin for a cute girl i can take out and trEat right.

Brooke rolled her eyes at the innuendo and let out a small huff of a laugh. The girl obviously had some sort of sense of humour, which she supposed was important. And it was pretty impressive that someone so young was in a position where they could support someone else financially.

The green dot was still displayed next to V’s username. She was still online. Brooke took a deep breath and clicked the chat icon at the bottom of the screen, typing out a quick, hopefully flirty-but-without-coming-on-too-strong, message.

BLH: I hate to break it to you, but saying ‘I’m not gonna kill you’ sounds exactly like what someone who would kill me would say ;)

Brooke quickly exited out of the app and opened up Instagram to check and see if Katya or her wife had added any new photos of their cats or dog. Before she could even begin typing her sister’s name into the search bar, her phone dinged, letting her know that V had responded.

V: hate to break it to you babe but saying youre looking for a partner sounds like youre tryna open up a lawyers office

Brooke swore under her breathe. She knew she sounded too robotic.

BLH: Oh god, I’m sorry. I’ve never done anything

V: lol relax mami, youre cute with all your worrying

She bit down on her lower lip, half in frustration and half trying to suppress a smile. V was already teasing her about her worrying, and they hadn’t even met yet.

BLH: Aren’t you more of the mommy in this situation though ;)

V: i mean i usually prefer daddy ;)

Brooke felt a quick rush of heat to her center at the word “daddy”. She closed her eyes trying to stave away memories of various nights in the alleyways behind various bars with various women.

BLH: I think I can make that work ;)

V: listen, not to be too upfront but youre gorgeous and id love to take you out sometime if youd want?

V: we could meet and figure out an allowance or something if thats what you want! ive done this once before and it was a really good experience for both of us…i gave her around $8000 a month for rent and stuff but we could figure out something specially for you if you need somethin different

Brooke could’ve sworn she felt her heart stop when she read the word “month”. She’d never been with one single person for more than three nights, much less on a month to month basis. But V seemed nice at least. And if not nice, she was at least experienced at this kind of arrangement, and was apparently quite generous to boot. Eight thousand dollars a month would cover her rent and utilities almost four times over. Eight thousand dollars a month would mean that she wouldn’t have to worry about getting her card declined at brunch. Eight thousand dollars a month meant that she wouldn’t have to pick up every possible shift at the studio, and could spend more time going to auditions.

Eight thousand dollars a month meant that she was definitely not turning V down right off the bat.

BLH: I’d love that. Name the time and place, I’m free when you are.

BLH: Daddy ;)

Brooke Lynn Hayhoe doesn’t do relationships — but for eight thousand dollars a month, she was willing to fake it.

[avengersmusings]

FULL NAME: Anthony Edward Stark MEANING: Highly praiseworthy, Priceless One, Flower NICKNAME: Tonio, Tony MEANING: Tonio was what his mom called him growing up (and she’s the ONLY one allowed to call him that thanks), and Tony’s just the shorten version of his name. AGE APPEARANCE: 46 BIRTHDAY: May 29th, 1973 ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Gemini SPECIES: Human GENDER: Cis Male ALLERGIES: None SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Pansexual THEME SONG(S): Back in Black by AC/DC, Because of You by Kelly Clarkson, Bastards by Kesha, I Don’t Care by Fall Out Boy

APPEARANCE

HAIR COLOR:  Dark Brown with some grey peppered in because baby old. HAIR STYLE AND LENGTH: Honestly a mess, but like a stylish mess. It’s longer on top and always in that spikey MESS. EYES COLOR: Brown EYESIGHT: 20/20, he paid for corrective surgery when he was younger thanks. HEIGHT: 5′9″, don’t let HIM FOOL YOU WEIGHT: 190 lbs OUTFIT/CLOTHING STYLE: Tony’s probably wearing some band shirt with oil/grease stains on it and jeans. He also likes wearing tshirts, a blazer, and jeans. BUT ALWAYS THE SUNGLASSES. ABNORMALITIES: Miniaturized arc reactor in chest. DISTINGUISHING MARKS(SCARS,MOLES): Tony’s got a couple of scars from his father childhood, some old track marks along the crease of his elbow from his wilder days, and a giant ass scar on his chest from the one a half two heart surgeries that goes from the middle of his sternum down to almost his belly button. SELF CARE(MAKE UP): Tony either looks like he hasn’t slept in days or put together, there’s no in between. The only thing he really keeps maintained is his goatee. Because he’s vain about it. FIRST IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE: He’s Tony Fucking Stark okay, people either want to be his friend for his money or to hurt him so they try to impress him. SKIN COLOR: White BODY TYPE/BUILD: TINY BABY, he’s also fit but not like Steve level of muscle.  DEFAULT EXPRESSION: Tony always looks done with everything when in public. POSTURE: Oooooooof, Tony pretends to take up as much space as physically possible while keeping his back protected and everyone in the room in his sight. PIERCINGS: He has a closed up earring hole. DESCRIBE THEIR VOICE: Steve’s voice has a subtle Brooklyn accent and takes on a softer tone than you’d expect out of him. His voice hardens and deepens when he goes in Captain mode.

RELATIONS:

MOM: Maria Stark HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Maria and Tony had a bond that was built off of both of them being abused by Howard. They’d stick up for each other when he got too hard on one of them and when Tony got older he started acting out more so Howard would take it out on him more rather than Maria. To this day, Maria is still one of the most important people in his life. DAD: Howard Stark HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: HoWARD STARK CAN FUCKING CHOKE YOU DUMB ASS BITCH. Howard was not a good father, he was not Marvel can fight me. He was abusive and cold and distant and had his son kidnapped so that he wouldn’t break when it really happened. Howard’s better off fucking dead. SIBLINGS: Isabelle St. Martin (Half-Sister) HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Tony.........has no clue she’s his sister sorry. CHILDREN: Toni Stark, Morgan Stark, Peter Parker, and the Bots HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Tony’s kids are hIS LIFE. His biggest fear is turning into Howard so he treats them like they’re the best thing to happen to him (which they are). OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS: Edwin Jarvis (Father Figure), Peggy Carter (Adoptive Aunt) PAST LOVER(S): so MANY ONE NIGHT STANDS TONY PLEASE. CURRENT LOVER: Pepper Potts REACTION TO MEETING SOMEONE NEW: Tony’s analyzing what they want from him and why they’re talking to him, but he’s keeping up with the conversation and probably trying to see if he can make them hate him. ABILITY TO WORK WITH OTHERS: It depends on his mood, honestly. HOW SOCIABLE(LONER,ETC): Tony can be sociable, when he wants to. FRIENDS: Elise Burke, Bruce Banner, Peggy Carter, Thor, Nat, Clint, basically all of the Avengers. PETS: Ginny, a miniature poodle (who is also a service doggo for his anxIETY) LEAST FAVORITE TYPE OF PERSON: People who take advantage of him or use his tech for evil. PARENTAL TYPE(PROTECTIVE,ETC): THE BEST, his kids want something and they get it. FAVORITE PEOPLE: Pepper, Elise, Bruce, Morgan, Peter, Toni. LEAST FAVORITE PEOPLE: Steve, Justin Hammer, most of SHIELD.

PERSONALITY:

..WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM: ? Distant, Sarcastic, Pushy ..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY LIKE YOU): Warm, Loyal, Giving ..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY DISLIKE YOU): Cold, Mean, Closed-Off FAVORITE COLOR: Red FAVORITE FOOD: One of his mom’s old dishes or a Potts family recipe. FAVORITE ANIMAL: Cats (?) FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: Piano FAVORITE ELEMENT: Fire LEAST FAVORITE COLOR: None of them??? LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Honestly, nothing. LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: Rats LEAST FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: Maybe a kazoo? Tony’s weird. LEAST FAVORITE ELEMENT: Earth HOBBIES: building things he shouldn’t be, hanging out with his kids, annoying Pepper in her office, sciencing with Bruce. USUAL MOOD: Honestly Tony’s eager to please so he wants people around, but HE ALSO DOESN’T WANNA SEEM TOO EAGER so like.......you have to come to him first.

DRINK/SMOKE/DRUGS: Not anymore. He used to do all three and stopped when he became Iron Man. Well, drinking stopped when he got together with Pepper. DARK VERSION OF SELF: OH FUCK. AN EVIL GENIUS. The entire world is metal and humans arE GONE. LIGHT VERSION OF SELF: hello see Tony thanks. Maybe less self-doubty and more willing to work with others. HOW SERIOUS ARE THEY: Tony can be serious if he wants to be, he just doesn’t want to be most of the time. BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: Nope. Science can’t explain it so they aren’t real :) (IN)DEPENDANT: Tony likes to pretend to be independant but CANNOT REMEMBER WHAT HE HAD FOR BREAKFAST. please help him. SOFT SPOT/VULNERABILITY: anybody hurting one of his kids or Pepper, failing the team, turning into Howard, people needing help in general. OPINION ON SWEARING: Will say fuck in front of a child if needed. Morgan probably knows a LOt of swear words. DAREDEVIL VS CAUTIOUS: Both??? He’s mostly just a menace to himself and lack self-preservation skills. MUSIC TYPE: Ear-shattering rock. MOVIE TYPE: .......Tony doesn’t watch movies he doesn’t have the attention span for them. BOOK TYPE: ..........i don’t see Tony as much of a reader either. Maybe scientific journals??? GAME TYPE: Tony can kick your ass at poker without even trying. COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE: Tony likes it a little bit warmer than comfortable. The cold reminds him of the cave and being trapped in space :( SLEEPING PATTERN: .........tony stark..........sleep???? what. CLEANLINESS/NEATNESS: Tony is the cleanest messiest person you’ll ever meet. He never picks up after himself but IF YOU PICK UP ONE OF HIS TOOLS AND MOVE IT ANYWHERE IT THROWS OFF HIS ENTIRE SYSTEM.  DESIRED PET: who needs pets when kids keep showing up at your doorstep amiright HOW DO THEY PASS TIME: Bothering Pepper, hanging out with a kid of his, building up suits for the team. BIGGEST SECRET: Tony Stark has had three “suicide” attempts in his life and only one of them was intentional. HERO/WHO THEY LOOK UP TO: Everyone because he’s short.  His mom, Pepper, Steve to an extent. WHAT ANIMAL WOULD THEY BE: A cat. FEARS: BECOMING HOWARD, losing one of his kids or Pepper, space, failing the team. COMFORTS: Pepper’s shampoo, Morgan’s childlike scent, the smell of motor oil, being utterly surround by someone he loves.

HOW DO THEY ACT WHEN THEY ARE:

SAD: Tony bottles it all up until it spills out and he can’t control it anymore. He’s getting better about opening up about when he’s sad, but he WASN’T ALLOWED TO BE SAD when he was younger THANKS HOWARD. HAPPY: Talking fast and probably waving his arms around TOO MUCH, getting up in personal space, SARCASTIC JOKES ANGRY: OOOOOFFF, the cold creeps in and Tony shuts off all other emotions. He tends to let the anger control him and doesn’t think things through. AFRAID: Tony’s not allowed to show he’s afraid because FUCK HOWARD so he keeps it to himself. If it gets too bad he has panic attacks. LOVE SOMEONE: Everything you’ve ever been in debt for is suddenly paid off and you have a nice vacation to look forward to and ANYTHING ELSE YOU NEED he’s giving you thanks. HATE SOMEONE: Tony’s cold and distant and probably wishing he could blast them with a gauntlet. WANT SOMETHING: Tony will take whatever he wants, he was raised spoiled okay. CONFUSED: tony stark doesn’t get confused HOW DARE YOU.

HOW DO THEY REACT TO:

DANGER: If Tony’s in danger it’s no big deal, but if someone else is? He’s doing everything in his power to GET THEM OUT even if it means getting hurt in the process. SOMEONE THEY HATE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THEM: Bitch bye, Tony doesn’t have time for people he hates. PROPOSAL TO MARRY: He’s already married sooooooooooo unless it’s Pepper he’s gonna say no. DEATH OF LOVED ONE: It depends on how close they were. But he’d probably hide away until the sadness went away unless someone makes him face it. DIFFICULT GAME/MATH/ETC: Tony will not rest until he’s solved it thanks. INJURY: Yeah no, Tony doesn’t tell anybody when he’s injured. He was literally dying and didn’t tell anyone so. SOMETHING IRRESISTABLY CUTE: My guess is Tony would want to make sure it’s taken care of. LOSS OF HOURS OF WORK: .............he’s sleeping with his boss so.

KNOWLEDGE:

LANGUAGES: English, Italian, knows conversational various other langauges. SCHOOLING LEVEL: He has 3 doctorates. FAVORITE SUBJECT (S): Science, Science, and more Science. INTERESTED CAREERS: An engineer or inventor. EXPERTISE: genius level intellect, master engineer, master scientist, master buinessman, pilot of the iron man suits PUZZLES: Puzzles take him a minute but the serum helps him figure them out rather quickly. CHEMISTRY: Tony likes making things explode and probably has a good understanding of chemistry. MATH: TONY LOVES MATH. ENGLISH: Tony can speak it but has NO interest in interpreting what authors were trying to say in books thanks. GEOGRAPHY: Who needs maps when you have an AI running everything? POLITICS/LAW: Tony knows about them, and probably participates in them.  ECONOMY/ACCOUNTING: yOU DON’T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT MONEY WHEN YOU’RE RICH. COOKING: Tony can cook three things: scrambled eggs, spaghetti, and cereal. That’s it. SEWING: No. MECHANICS: Tony rebuilds classic cars in his spare time the fucking nerd. BOTANY (FLOWERS): lol no MYTHOLOGY: Tony knows about the different mythologies but doesn’t really believe in them? Atheism is a thing. DRAMATICS(ACTING,SINGING): besides the fact that tony is a DRAMA QUEEN, no. READING LEVEL: WAY ABOVE AVERAGE HE GRADUATED CO LLEGE AT FI FTEEN. HOW GOOD ARE THEY AT PLANNING AHEAD: no. just.......no this why he has Jarvis and Pepper.

ROMANCE:

DO THEY TAKE INITIATIVE: YES he loves bothering Pepper when she’s busy and a l w a y s gets his way. HOW DO THEY ACT(SHY,ETC): .........he’s Tony Stark.....that’s enough right there. GENTLEMAN/LADYLIKE VS KLUTZY: Tony can be gentleman like when he’s done something he’s not supposed to (or when he wants something) but other than that HE’S A DEMON. GO SLOW VS JUMP INTO: he was used to going fast and doing the one night stand thing, but with Pepper it was easier to take things slow (and then go really fast once they realized how WELL they worked together). PROTECTIVE: Yes. ACT LIKE FRIENDS OR LOVERS:  B O T H. WHAT KIND OF PRESENTS DO THEY BUY: ......tony doesn’t buy presents because he forgets birthdays and anniversaries. TYPE OF KISSER: It depends on his mood and what he wants :) DO THEY WANT KIDS: He didn’t want them, but now he has a small army of them so. DO THEY WANT TO MARRY: he’s ALREADY MARRIED. MAKE GOOD OR BAD DECISIONS: Bad decisions are unintentionally made because Tony might be a genius but he’s a dumbass. ARE THEY ROMANTIC: Y E S. HOW ARE THEY IN BED: Tony Stark literally did one night stands and one night stands only. He’s A M A Z I N G in bed he knows how to treat Pepper the way she should be and how to take car eof his WIFE. GET JEALOUS EASY: nO.  WIFE/HUBBY BEATER: nOPE. MARRY FOR MONEY: tony IS MONEY. FAVORITE POSITION: HOnestly? Pepper on top. WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ON THEIR DREAM DATE: A five star hotel while someone takes care of Morgan so Pepper can just relax. They spent as much time as possible in bed or relaxing. OPINION ON SEX: Sex was always just something Tony thought he HAD to do because people wanted it from him. And then he realized it was fun so he kept doing it because WHY NOT. But with Pepper it’s different and he could never go back to the one night stand thing. He likes the intimacy of sex with someone who cares about you beyond just getting off. 

[purplesurveys]

684

Have you ever lied to a person of authority? What did you say? I’ve lied to a teacher once or twice, but not anything more severe. Doesn’t matter if it’s a person of authority or not; I just hate lying. What’s your favourite type of pie, either sweet or savoury? I love chicken pot pie lol < Oh gosh yeah dude. Savory pies are the shit. I find that most sweet pies have fruit in them and given that I hate fruits, this is an easy choice for me. Do you have a Netflix subscription? Yeah, we have a family plan that my dad pays for. Have you ever parked in a disabled parking space even if you aren’t disabled? Nope. That sounds awful. How long does it usually take you to get ready in the morning? Depends on how late I’m running. If I started preparing early I can give myself up to an hour but if I’m late as it is, I can take 10 minutes to shower, get dressed, prepare my lunch, and get in the car.

What colour is your favourite shirt? My favorite top at the moment is a multi-colored striped spaghetti strap. If I remember, some of the stripes are white, maroon, olive green, dark blue, etc. When was the last time you saw a photo of yourself? Today. I took a dumb selfie for Angela. Does your laptop ever overheat? It doesn’t overheat but the fan tends to get louder when I do video calls on it, so I never do them on my laptop. Are you wearing a dress today? I am not. I’m up on the rooftop and it’s pretty cold tonight, so I have a large hoodie on, and also a hoodie wrapped around my legs so that I don’t get bitten by mosquitoes. Do you use your phone during class or at work? I use my phone in classes where the profs aren’t as strict. OMG I miss going to class :( How many times a day do you check Facebook? Countless. It’s where everyone hangs out to communicate, or do work, or share announcements, or post memes, so I’m almost always there. Do you hate it when people on airplanes recline the seat in front? No one’s ever done that to me before so I wouldn’t know if it would bother me. Are you the type of person to press a button just because? I would only get the urge if I knew it doesn’t work anymore or if it’s unplugged. I wouldn’t press a button that I know would do something. Would you ever volunteer in the case of a natural disaster? Yeah, but tbh I’m more likely to volunteer for orgs that help out stray animals  affected by the disaster, like for PAWS. I know for sure I would have volunteered for them after the Taal eruption, but I couldn’t because our house itself was affected by the ashfall. Do you check your emails daily? NO. I’m definitely not checking them during the lockdown because I want my break to stay a break. Are you inside or outside at the moment? I’m technically ~inside the house but I’m in an outdoors part of it. Why did you last have to see a doctor? I needed to have my left eye checked because it’s been acting up for a while. Have you ever been pulled aside for a random bag search at an airport? Nope. Are you happy with how much you weigh? Sure. I’ve never really paid close attention to my weight and I’ve always been just passively content with it. What’s your favourite flavour of Jell-O? Ughhh I hate any kind of jelly, I find the texture disgusting. I dunno if we have Jell-O here but we have local brands of jelly that I’ve never thought of trying. Do you pick your nose? C’mon, be honest. Yep, but only if I’m by myself or with my girlfriend. What was the last thing you bought from a supermarket? It’s been months, but if I remember correctly it was ice cream that my mom had been craving, and she asked me to buy it because I went out that day. Do you know anyone who is highly allergic to anything? Yeah, Tina is allergic to seafood and Kate is allergic to seafood, chicken, and eggs. When was the last time you had a nap? Just this late afternoon. I fell asleep at 4:30 and woke up for dinner, so I’ll probs be up really late again tonight. Are you hot, cold, or just right at the moment? I was cold earlier but I put a hoodie on so now I’m feeling just right. Do you have a Spotify Premium membership? If not, do you want one? I technically don’t, but Gabie has one and she let me log into her account a long time ago. What’s your boss’ name? I don’t have one. Back in my internship days – again, because this is really my only ~job experience so far lol – the boss’ name was Dessa, but I was under a supervisor named Therese. Have you ever eaten caviar? Yup. Are you a nervous type of person? Yeah, I generally am. Do/did you collect anything currently or in the past? I used to collect receipts from my dates with Gab, but I’ve completely stopped doing that. I keep telling myself on these surveys that I’m gonna start collecting again and it just never happened, so now all there is to say is that I entirely stopped lol. Other than that, I don’t collect anything else. On average, how much money do you usually put into savings every week? Depends on how much is left over by Friday; I don’t have a set amount. The left over from my allowance can be anywhere from P100 to P1,000. Do you prefer sweet or savoury foods? Savoryyyyy. Do you have any games on your computer? Which ones? No, not on my computer. What are your three favourite fruits? I hate fruits. Have you ever received a speeding fine? Nope, I don’t even think that’s grounds for being fined here. I’ve seen people drive like maniacs on highways, and yet they’d get pulled over because they illegally changed lanes or did an illegal u-turn. When was the last time you shaved any part of your body? This evening. Have you ever had a cramp in an odd place? Mmm no, I’ve only gotten cramps where it’s common, like my legs and neck. Would you ever go overseas for cheap medical treatment? No. It doesn’t make sense to me – the airline ticket would bump up how much I would need to spend anyway. The only times I see the sense in traveling abroad for medical reasons would be if the treatment/surgery/medicine/facility is only available in a certain country, or if the best doctor in a certain field is in a different country. How many hours did you sleep last night? 8, I think. Are you good at writing stories? I’ve never been good at writing stories. I liked reading them as a kid, but I never succeeded in writing my own. What have you eaten today? I had eggplant stuffed with meat, fried egg, and fried rice for brunch and Mang Inasal takeout for dinner. Do you watch House of Cards? Nope. I want to try watching it but I feel like it’s too dialogue-y for me. Plus Kevin Spacey is there for like 5 out of 6 seasons I think, which would really ruin the viewing experience lmao. Did anything exciting or interesting happen to you today? Nah not really, much like the last three weeks of the lockdown. What’s your favourite type of fish to eat? Raw tuna. Who else is in the building you’re in right now? My family and dog.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #242

“i don’t miss you, i miss the misery.”

How many pairs of converse shoes do you own? Hm... three or four? Any other names your parents planned to give you? The only one I *think* I remember is Katelyn. Thank fuck I dodged that bullet. Which is the most beautiful place you know? The mountains between NC and TN, if I remember correctly. I was very young. What do you work with? I don't work period & I hate it. Have you ever hit an animal with your car? Thank Christ no. Favorite ride at the amusement park? I guess ferris wheels. Favorite beauty essential in your bathroom cabinet? I don't have a "favorite" considering I don't use any regularly. Do you have many followers on your Tumblr? Nah. Do you tan easily? I burn like toast, man. Are you expecting something in the mail? No. Do you inspire others? Idk. What do you collect? Meerkat stuff and Silent Hill merch. Do you like cats? Hell yes!!! Are you healthy? If you excuse my weight and muscle atrophy, I'm actually pretty healthy, according to a billion tests I've gotten done when trying to discover *why* I had such awful pain in my legs. Have you ever been out of state? Yeah. Can you always blame your acts on that you were just too drunk? Fuck no. Three things you try to avoid as much as possible: Well dying lmao, getting hurt, public speaking. How many times have you been overseas? Zero. Do you use to have someone in mind when shopping for underwear? Wait what the fuck- What accent do you have? I don't really have one, although I do have a southern tone with some words sometimes I suppose. I also do say things like "y'all" or "fixing to (do something)," so I use some Southern terminology. Where would you like to live? The mountains of western NC. Sigh. Do you follow fashion? No. Do you have a big butt? Ever heard of Hank Hill Ass Syndrome? I have Hank Hill Ass Syndrome. Your worst job nightmare is: Customer service EVER again. Who’s the coolest rapper in the world? Idk and idc. Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? I mean yeah, I think anniversaries are worth celebration. Healthy relationships aren't always easy to maintain; to remain in love takes forgiveness, loyalty, dedication... all that. It shouldn't be hard, but it takes effort. Have you graduated? High school, anyway. Rihanna or Lady Gaga? Lady Gaga, definitely. Do you use fake eyelashes? No. What’s your worst interior design nightmare: I dunno. Probably just being very crammed? What makeup brands do you use? I don't have any particular ones; I don't wear makeup enough. What’s the worst kind of rejection you could give someone? I genuinely feel it to be how Jason did so with me. Three and a half years in a very serious relationship, and he out of the blue breaks up with me over Facebook because my depression became "too much." Like by NOW I understand I can't shame him for wanting to be happy, but the way he did it was fucking cruel and tore me apart. Like especially when this person was your refuge from daily pain and pretty much your god and future (never make someone that, holy holy HOLY shit don't), that individual just suddenly having enough and breaking contact off like that was emotional murder. Do you have a crush on someone right now? Well yeah, but it's like... a "tamed" one? Is that an accurate word? Like I understand it just can't work right now, but it doesn't stop me from liking her. Is there anyone that many people think is hot, but you don’t? I'm sure there's someone. Do you sort and organize your clothes in some kind of way? Sorta. When somebody intimidates you, how do you usually act around them? Nervous, skittish, more awkward than usual. Is your favorite singer in a band or does he or she ride solo? Brendon Urie is in P!atD and Patrick Stump is in Fall Out Boy. Freddie Mercury was the vocalist of Queen. Did your parents ever hang your old artwork up on the walls? Yeah, Mom still has some up lmao. How often do you wear chapstick? Only when my lips are actually chapped. Do you walk around your house with your shoes on or do you take them off? Definitely off. What is the weirdest obsession you’ve ever had? Collecting stickers, maybe? How many of the seven deadly sins have you fulfilled today? Sloth is on the daily lmao, gluttony, and lust. Should guys always kiss the girl on a first date? Not always, of course not. It depends on the comfort level, and I would ALWAYS ask first. Which band has the corniest music videos? Corniest lyrics? I don't really watch music videos, and idk about lyrics. What subject is/was hardest for you in school? Math. Have any songs ever inspired you to play an instrument? No. Do you ever use Pandora? No. Are you better with creative writing or writing essays? I think I'm good at both, but I probably excel in creative writing. When was the last time you were rick rolled? No clue. What is the weirdest animal you’ve ever seen as a pet? Seen, I guess a chinchilla, though that's not really "weird." If you had to change one, would you rather change your hair or your eyes? Eyes. When was the last time you had a ‘she-mergency’? I had to look this up to be certain what that even was lmao. Probably some time I started my period at school and had to use folded toilet paper or something for a while. Which sounds creepier: sleeping in the attic or the basement? I'd say it depends on the make-up of each and its cleanliness. What was your favorite computer game as a kid? I think it was called The Amazon Trail 3? It was a damaged disc however, so it froze a lot. I think I only finished it once or twice; even knowing it would likely crash, I just liked playing it as far as I could. Have you ever tried on your mom’s wedding ring? No. Any shows on TV that you flat out refuse to start watching? 13 Reasons Why, to name perhaps the #1. What is your opinion on fruitcake? NO. Here’s a tough one. Would you rather marry your cousin or a dog? Oh fuck off, neither. Who did you last dream about? I can't remember what it was about, but I know Mark was in it lmao. Do you have trouble remembering important things? Sometimes. My memory is atrocious. Which animal can you imitate the best? Audibly? Probably a cat. Which is harder - walking in the snow or sand? Sand. I FUCKING hate walking through sand. It's one reason I don't like the beach. Do you like sour candy? oml YES. If anyone, who did you sit with at lunch today? N/A Have you gotten any injuries lately? If so, what and how? Not anything I can remember. Are you a clumsy person? You have no idea. How about disorganized? I'm oddly split down the middle. Last male you talked to in person? My dad. Have you ever had a sunburn? Oh boy, I've gotten past that. Try sun poisoning. Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No. Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? PINK! Chocolate or strawberry milk? Oh boy, chocolate. I tried strawberry as a child and absolutely loathed it beyond words known to man, and I will not be giving it a second chance. I remember it pristinely. Disgusting. What volume is the ringer on your phone? It's on vibrate. Have you ever won a contest on the radio? No. Do you often write on yourself? I never do, 'less we're talking about tattoos lol. Is there writing on the shirt you are currently wearing? No. Frosted flakes or frosted mini wheats? I hate the latter, so I guess frosted flakes, though I don't really remember how they taste. Do mushrooms really add flavor to food? I hate them, so they obviously have enough flavor for me to notice them... What about onions? Yes. Are you a fan of Thai food? I've actually never had Thai food. How about Indian food? Same as above. Have you ever tried sushi? No. In your opinion, who would be the best president? I don't know. What was the last thing you spent more than $20 on? I have no ide- oh wait I paid for Teddy's surgery with... money I don't know from whence it came? Was it financial aid money? Idr. Do you wear actual designated ‘pajamas’ to bed? Pj pants and a tank top. When was the last time you were tempted to do something you’d later regret? Probably take a nap late in the day, ending in me being unable to sleep well at night. Thankfully, I decided against it. Have you ever had feelings for your best friend’s significant other? Yes. Well, not current best friend, but a former one. How many times did you ride in a car today? Zero. Are you comfortable in your own skin? Fuck no. What's absolutely splendid is even when/if I lose the weight I aim to, I'm going to have loose skin that literally might make me hate my body more until I without argument muster up the money to get it surgically removed. Are you in a good mood right now? I'm alright. When was the last time you had an ice cream cone? Been quite a while. Did you eat breakfast this morning? Yeah, had some cereal. Have you ever been in a cemetery at midnight? No. Do you live on your own? No. I don't even think I could tolerate living alone because of my depression and how loneliness can severely trigger it. I'm realistically probably not moving out until it'll be with an s/o. If not, who do you live with? I live with my mom, my sister's dog, and my cat and snake. How old are your siblings, if you have any? I have a lot, and I don't know the ages of all of them, only my two immediate sisters: 26 and 21. Have you ever had a crush on a sibling’s friend? No. Have you donated blood in the last 2 years? No. What was the last free t-shirt you received from? School. Is there anything you are looking forward to at the moment? February 4th, baby. Tattoo gets fixed up by an artist I like far more. Him not having an open booking until then should say enough. Are you an atheist? No. Are you Asian? No. Are you fluent in another language? No. Are you in the military? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Are you an artist? Not professional, but I enjoy making art. Are you a musician? No. Are you an athlete? Oh, hunny- Do you have a favorite flower? I really like orchids. Where was the last place you went that was more than an hour away? Great question... The trip to my therapist is about an hour, but not over. Why were you going there? For therapy. Who was the last person to tell you you looked nice? Probably Mom, idk. Have you ever been to a nude beach? Hell no, I wouldn't even if I was in great shape. How many websites do you have an account for? WHEW I have no idea, A LOT over all the years. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? Well, WoW is an online game, so a subscription, though because I obviously don't have my own money, I'm sadly rich enough in the game to use monthly tokens. Do you try clothes on before you buy them? Not always. I try to avoid it because I just hate doing it. What would you do if you knew a robber was in your house? Well I obviously don't know how I'd react on impulse, but I'd imagine myself locking my door and then climbing out the window. Then run like a motherfucker up the road some to a neighbor's, or hide in the nearby woods and call Mom. What’s your favorite type of pizza? Meat lovers sobs in wannabe-vegetarian. Have you ever been afraid of falling in love? Yes, very. Who’d you last see in a tux? I don't know. Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? No. Do you have difficulty pronouncing any words? Yeah, particularly "breakfast." I tend to put a "t" after the "k." Do you have your own computer? Yeah. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? My mom. Who’s the bravest person you know? Oh man, that's hard. I know a lot of brave people. Who would you want to have your back if things got tough? More than anyone in the world, Mom. Have your friends ever given you answers to homework, last minute? Yeah. Have you ever dated someone who was real sportsy? No. Have you ever done something terrible, but took forever to feel bad? By this point in time, I consider how I spoke to Jason before going to the ER multiple times absolutely terrible, and yes, it did take a very long time for me to realize just how cruel it was. Now it's fucking HARD to accept I ever said what I did. Have you ever read Shakespeare? Yes. Can anyone really change anyone that doesn’t wanna change? Nope. Do you think that anyone currently has a crush on you? I would assume Sara still does, but again, we know a relationship between us just isn't wise right now. What profession do you admire the most? The most? Man, that's hard to decide. Probably those that risk their lives for others, like firefighters, cops (yes, I am aware some abuse their power, but good cops deserve all the respect in the world), etc. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? I don't believe so, no. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve ever had to learn? Bad things happen to good people and no, the universe does not care. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Well obviously.

[chaniters]

SUPERSIZE ME

Ortega has developed a plan to finally free Sidestep from the farm... And it’s initial stage involves facing some of his worst nightmares come true. 

This is a follow up to the “Sick” fic. 

Hope you enjoy it!

WARNING, heavy Chargestep included. Also included, fluff.

SUPERSIZE ME

"No. No way. Fuck it.  No, I can't do this Ricardo. I can't let's turn back."

"We're almost there! Come on!" he insists.

"I just can't... it's too..."

"Too what?"

"Too risky! What if it doesn't work? I don't want to go back!"

"You won't go back. We already have all the support we need"

"But you don't know these people! You don't know what they can do!"

"I know that when the Panama thing exploded the evidence against them was a million times smaller and a president almost gets impeached. We've got all the safeguards."

"I'm... I'm fucking afraid Ricardo."

"Look, I get it. But what's the option? Getting back into your suit that NO ONE can fix and go on bombing stuff until we both get killed?"

"Yes...?" you say causing him to glare at you "... ok no... but... are you sure there's no other way?"

"I'm sure it's the only way we can stop them." He groans “And you agreed if i recall”

“Yes, but I know jack shit. I mean I’m no model of sanity!”

You stay silent for a few moments, pondering the options.

He takes your hands with his and places them over his chest looking at you with the puppy eyes. 

“We have to do this”

Fuck. You're supposed to be the telepath not him.

You inhale profoundly and finally answer.

Leap of faith it is.

And so you step into the men's salon with him.

Every single customer steps outside as you enter and the hair stylists don't question it as their clients leave. They all think they left something on the fire at home, even the ones who don't own a kitchen.

Ricardo nudges you from behind. "Did you...just...?"

"Yes. Big time. No way I'm going to wait in here" you state matter-of-factly. He seems about to protest but decides not to fight this battle.

Ricardo goes through a magazine showing different hairstyles. You can't really focus on it. All the guys in there look really attractive. You are just... whatever.

"This isn't going to work," you say looking away. "You just pick whichever you want, it'll be fine by me." They can't fix you with some scissors. You know that.

He seems a bit taken back, but he simply tells the barber to inflict one of the pictures onto you.

Your mind races back to the Farm... they would just shave your hair with a machine back there. It was fast. You remember they shaved you when they recaptured you. It wasn't even a choice they made to punish you. You were going to surgery and they needed the hair out of the way to fix you.

This is different. He cuts so slowly... and he touches your head... positions it to the side.. to the other side... forward... back...

You feel the panic levels rising. You need to make it stop ...

He nudges you slightly. The contact of the cold scissors... makes you tremble.

It has to stop...

Ortega's hand presses on your shoulder. You look at the mirror and he's giving you a "Mind your manners"  look. You notice the Barber has frozen and his left eye is twitching.

Fuck.

You relax and let the barber's mind free. You weren't even doing it on purpose.

Ricardo sits by your side. Maybe to give you moral support. Maybe to stop you from breaking the barber's brain.  

And then it's done. He brushes you excess hair off your clothes, sprinkles some water all over and then finishes with a shot of the hairdryer while combing your hair.

You always simply cut your hair yourself. And now you're afraid to look at the mirror.

"What do you think?" Ricardo asks.

You take a brief look and mumble that yes, you do like it.

Whatever.

He's afraid of you not liking your haircut. Maybe he doesn't believe you when you tell him you're terrified of your own body, or it's reflection. Mirrors. You hate them.

And then the torture continues.

Off to get you some clothing.

You remember the first time you picked your own clothes... the colored mountainwear ensemble. Ortega's never stopped joking about it...

You liked it so much. And It was just so hideous. You could dress up Eden as fancy as you wanted, but you just can't do the same with yourself. The farm issued your clothing when they needed you to look presentable... And even among other regenes, when left to your own devices, you were clueless. Perhaps you'll rely on Ricardo's sense of fashion this time.

He guides you to the store. They sell tailor-made fancy suits and men's clothing. You have avoided these places like the plague since ever. Hoodies don't generally need to be tried on as long as you pick the right size, and can come off the rack.

You walk in, and service is fast because you're with Charge, hero of the Rangers.

You make a quick scan of the room and set off a small barrier that will make any other customers coming in think the place reeks and stinks of dead skunks. You don't want anybody else in here either. If you need to suffer this, you will do it alone.

When they take your measurements you smile nervously to Ricardo, trying to pretend you're not about to explode and erase everyone's memories in a one-mile radius. The nightmare goes on and on, as they finish touching your body over your clothing.

And then they have you try several models of suits and other clothing. You've never put these things on before. You're not familiar with buttoning and unbuttoning. The shoes hurt. The socks are too thin. The shirt and pants are too fit. You have to expose your tattoos to try some on some things and you just can't.

Finally, Ortega comes with you inside the dresser to help you. Even if you've become used to physical touch with him, this is extremely uncomfortable. You don't like him seeing your tattoos at all. And there are mirrors on 3 walls and only a thin curtain separating you from the shop assistants. Nightmare accomplished.

No one in the staff says anything. This is a very exclusive place. What you gather from their minds is that they've and they've seen everything. They are just glad you're not on drugs or drunk and throwing up as some superstars have before. Good to know the bar is low enough to allow you in some places.

Ortega keeps bringing new clothing... going in and out. It takes an eternity. Finally, when you think you're about to lose it he puts a hand on your shoulder. This is quickly starting to become his "Keep your shit together Cyrus" gesture.

"I think this is it"

"Great, can we get out of here please?"

"Hey! Take a look first at least?"

"Fiiiiine" you go on.  

Just a peek. Odd. You feel nothing when you look at your reflection.

Because that isn't your reflection.

That's someone else. He's someone confident. Someone you could never be around. It's a man who knows what he wants. And he looks fucking handsome. And Sexy... and...

You look away.

"I can't... I can't wear this!"

"Hm? You are doing it right now Cyrus"

"But... but that's not me!"

"You do know how mirrors work, right?"

"Look... I don't... I don't look like... THAT!" you say waving your hands at the mirror.

The sexy fucker in the reflection, he waves his hands back at you, making the absurdity of your words sinks in even harder.

Ricardo tries not to laugh.

You blush and look away.

"Do you like it?"

"I... " you blush, looking away "Is this really necessary?"

"Yup"

Fuck. You haven't been so confused in a long time.

"Ok then... If you... say so"

"Perfect! Let's pay up!"

Ortega wants to buy the clothes you're wearing, along with a suit he thinks fits you well enough and a host of other things... And even a Tailor-made suit that'll be delivered next week. It's a whole new wardrobe.

He seems about to pay.

"No, let me," you say.

"But i ..."

You simply hand over your credit card to the cashier.

The savage thoughts assault you as she takes the card.

Her thoughts about you aren't dim and off as usual, but she's getting a very positive reaction instead. She will remember you.

Fuck. You take the credit card back, trying not to look at her.

“So... I’ll put back my own clothes and hand these over so they can...”

“I threw them away” Ricardo states.

“You what?”

“These are your clothes now.”

Speechless you end up following him to the exit.

"I could have paid," Ortega says changing the subject "I've got a discount here"

"I can handle it... I robbed all those banks, remember?" you say feeling a bit grumpy about your old clothes. You feel as if you were using a halloween costume.

"Oh," he says remembering the fact.

"I'll return the money... to charity or something else," you say in the end.

"Good," he says relieved.

“I just can’t believe you did that” you say in the end. 

“It’s a change for the better. You’ll see.”

He locks his arm with yours as you walk off together. The two of you are clearly drawing stares now, and you're sure you're face is red as a strawberry by now. If that mirror was showing anything resembling the truth, you are the sexy fucker right now, and Ortega is one of the hottest men on Los Diablos according to that magazine you keep under your pillow back at your lair.

You are a cuckoo. All your life you've been trained to avoid people's attention. Not to provoke it.

You push their stares away with your mind. All of them.

Ortega chuckles as people look away from you two.

"You know you can't keep doing that forever"

"You just watch me" you answer. And then you cling closer to him.

This is the first part of his plan...

The easy part.

You just hope to outlive it.

---------------------------a few minutes later---------------

He stops in his tracks. 

“Something wrong?” you ask

“I just remembered... do you recall that night before the ... before you died?”

“Hmm? That... that was a long time ago” 

“Yes, but do you remember it?”

“Yes... we ... we were training? By the beach right?”

“At the park, I think”

“Oh... right. It was some time after the... Nanosurge”

“Yeah. Do you... recall what you told me?”

“I... “ You have to make a mental effort. “Oh.” You say in the end. You remember. You told him you were going to accept a dinner invitation... that he had made even before that time. You were going to tell him everything. But you never could. You died instead.

“Do you remember?”

“Yes”

“Does it still stand?” he asks.

You nod slowly. 

“Good... because you are looking hot tonight. And I know a place”

“I..” you don’t even know how to respond to that. How could anyone respond to that?

And then he leans in. And you kiss. 

And time turns back it’s course for a few minutes. 

Just for the two of you. 

______________________________________

My Fanfiction: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/181692759294/my-fanfiction-for-fallen-hero    

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters and the setting of the Fallen Hero: Rebirth and upcoming Fallen Hero: Retribution games written by Malin Riden. I do not claim ownership of any characters from the Fallen Hero wold. These stories are a work of my imagination, and I do not ascribe them to the official story canon. These works are intended for entertainment outside the official storyline owned by the author. I am not profiting financially from the creation of these stories, and thank the author for her wonderful game/s, without which these works would not exist.

[mayazen]

"The only thoughts" chp 2

Hey guys I'm so sorry this is really late, I got hella sick recently and I'm trying to keep to a schedule again anyway here it is

Edward stood there for a moment, watching the german doctor leave. He wasn't used to such open bluntness from a colleague, he appreciated it. Most people try to suck up to the doctor and be polite. The honestly was nice for once. He wrapped his scarf around his neck and waiting at the street for a cab.

          Henrik walked slowly into his apartment and  turned on his light. He hung up his coat and walked into the kitchen. He looked over to the clock on the oven which read 12:42. He debated calling his daughter before her school start when suddenly his phone began to ring. “Speak of the devil” he said to himself. He picked up the phone and answered. “Hallo meine liebling! Wie geht es dir?”

         “Morgen dad, I'm good, very tired but good” replied Sofie

         “I'm glad to hear you're doing well in your English, how about the rest of your classes?”

         “I'm doing just fine in everything” she replied with a laugh.

         “Even chemistry? Because last I heard-”

         “VATI! look I'm doing better in it! Chris has been helping me in it” her voice trailed off

         They both sat in silence for a minute before Henrik asked “Is that his name, Chris?” Sofia didn't respond “ listen it's been almost a year Maine liebling, I expect her to be dating again.”

         “Ja” she said after a minute. “He is a professor at one of the college's here, used to teach in Brussels.”

          “Is she happy?”

          “ papa, please don't ask me that. You already know the answer to it.”

         “....at least she's happy, that's all i want for your mother. Please send her my love.”

         “ do you want to say hello, she just downstairs I can get her-”

         “No it's getting late, I must sleep.” He sighed. “I love you so very much”

         “Ich liebe dich meinem vater”

         Sofia hung up the phone and left Henrik alone once more with only the ringing from the phone left. His wife and him had grown apart as Sofie got older until they couldn't take it anymore and his wife filed for divorce. He so desperately wanted to try and work it out with her but she was set in her ways. That's what originally drew her to Henrik, she was so passionate about her beliefs and despite being stubborn, she was often right. He got up from his couch and opened the door to his kitchen and went to fridge. He grabbed the first bottle he could find and poured a drink

          After an hour he was finishing off the remainder of the bottle. Henrik. Walked over to his bedroom and just layed there staring at the ceiling.

          “Sixteen fucking years, and for what?” He said softly to himself. “we dealt with everything and then one day she calls it quits! At least this shitty apartment is the one thing she cant take from me. This is all my own, this closed off empty apartment that I now call home.” He laid there for a while till he finally fell asleep.

           He woke to the abrasively loud alarm with a headache. He checked his phone to see the time: five AM. He slopilly got dressed and rushed out the door. As soon as he got outside he was struck with the realization of how bright it was outside. The cars sounded like fire alarms and the birds sounded like they were screaming instead of singing. He got in his car and grabbed a pair of sunglasses and started to drive to the hospital.

           “God did you see Dr Schneeplestein this morning?” “How could I miss him the man looks like death!” Dr iplier looked up from one of his patients charts to hear some residents talking about the new German doctor.

            “Wonder how much he drank last night?”

            “Where is he, I need to ask him some questions about a surgery he did.” Asked Doctor Iplier.

             “Last time I saw him he was a floor up in the burns ward, he was supposed to talk with a doctor how bad the burn was on a patient's leg and if it need to be taken off.

              After the nurse told him where to find Henrik, he went out looking for him. He took an elevator upstairs where he saw Dr Schneeplestein sitting outside of one of the rooms with his head in his hands and sunglasses on his head. He doesn't notice Edward until he was standing right in front of him.

             “Morgen Dr Iplier” Henrik groaned, putting the sunglasses on his face. “What may I help you with?” He looked very much out of it, his hair was barley combed and he was wearing the shirt he wore the day before.

              “I heard you looked like shit, and boy were they right.” He laughed. “The actual reason I came up here was because I admired your honesty last night and so I wanted to get you a coffee, and I think you need it now more than ever.”

               Henrik sat there for a moment before replying with a laugh “I don't think I've had any today so sure, let's grab some.”

               “So what made you choose to even take this job, your over qualified to be here?” Asked Edward taking a sip of his coffee.

                “In all honesty I just wanted to get out of Germany and I took the first job that offered. I did the same with my apartment. I regret the apartment more than the job, it's too cramped and too many walls. My wife would have hated it” he paused for a minute “ My ex wife. We split around a year ago. But that's not a story for now, how about you why are you here?”

                “It paid well and it was near where my wife worked at the time, now she works across town.” “Ah so your married?” Dr Iplier laughed “At this point we rarely see each other and when we do, we're fighting. However I love her so I'm willing to deal with it” He finished his coffee.

                 Henrik sat there for a moment before telling him “not to bring you down that's how it was right before the end of my relationship, sixteen years and then she just gave up.”

                 Edward smiled for a moment and said “she won't leave me, she loves money too much.” Just then a beeping noise was heard. Edward looked down and checked his beeper “looks like an regular needs me, he's here pretty often, glad to see him but I think he’d be happier if he could see me” he laughed. “Oh wait you probably never met him, he doesn't have eyes, can't see. Anyway, it was great to talk to you I'll see you around.” He smiled and turned to leave

[gay-grandma]

All the asks. All of them. And if you can't be bothered to answer all of them then pick your favourite 10 😂

wow, i’ll try? xD

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?already answered

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?incorrect, and i like it that way xD

3. Have you taken someones virginity?nope xD

4. Is trust a big issue for you?answered!

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?who now?

6. What are you excited for?answered!

7. What happened tonight?cooking and watching netflix

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?no, it’s usually adorable!

9. Is confidence cute?unless it’s obnoxious, definitely yes

10. What is the last beverage you had?answered!

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?Like…three and a half?

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?oh i own SEVERAL, you won’t catch me dead in bootcuts

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?answered!

14. What are you going to spend money on next?Hmmm probably merch, going to a concert next week!

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?could’ve been but nope

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?i certainly hope so!

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?answered!

18. The last time you felt broken?like, earlier today

19. Have you had sex today?answered!

20. Are you starting to realize anything?oh, always

21. Are you in a good mood?answered!

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?not gonna seek it out, but i wouldn’t say no!

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?they are!

24. What do you want right this second?answered!

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?again, not into someone irl rn, but i got thinking about annie briggs and i’d be jealous bc come on who wouldn’t be, but also why so binary?

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?nah but the roots are starting to peek out

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?i don’t think so, no

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?answered!

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?does “the person i used to be” count?

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?no, there’s no one principle that goes for every situation

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?that’s kind of a weird question, no.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?answered!

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?nah i do

34. Listening to?answered!

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?Yes!

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?not a clue.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?Just attraction

38. Who did you last call?answered!

39. Who was the last person you danced with?danced with…i honestly can’t remember, that’s sad, might’ve been a few months ago when playing Just Dance with friends though

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?she asked nicely, and it seemed like a good idea at the time

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?i’m not sure

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?no, i miss them now

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?i’m always embarrassing myself, of course!

44. Do you tan in the nude?i live in the city, how?

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?answered!

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?nah

47. Who was the last person to call you?my little sister

48. Do you sing in the shower?always!

49. Do you dance in the car?when i can

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?yes, it was great!

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?don’t think i ever have

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?sometimes, but i love them!

53. Is Christmas stressful?so stressful, it’s ruined it

54. Ever eat a pierogi?yeah!

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?apples all day!

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?i remember “chef” and “professional horse rider”

57. Do you believe in ghosts?answered!

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?scarily often!

59. Take a vitamin daily?nah

60. Wear slippers?it’s happened

61. Wear a bath robe?nope

62. What do you wear to bed?a t-shirt usually

63. First concert?something swedish probably, first one i paid to go to myself was Halestorm and it was great!

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?swede here! ikea!

65. Nike or Adidas?idk, nike?

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?i have neither

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?peanuts!

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?That’s tough. Dress and New Year’s Day are both super LaFerry which i love but otherwise, i like a lot of them like Style and older ones but right at this moment maybe Getaway Car?

69. Ever take dance lessons?yup, swedish couple’s dancing when i was younger

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?not really, i’d just like them having one, really, i guess i’d like it to be a daytime job but that’s it

71. Can you curl your tongue?yep!

72. Ever won a spelling bee?sweden doesn’t do spelling bees but i’ve never had a teacher point out a spelling error in my life, and once i got one point above the max points on an english test

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

once or twice, i remember doing it when my parents told me i was getting another sibling

74. What is your favorite book?answered!

75. Do you study better with or without music?without! i love music and when it’s on i gotta listen

76. Regularly burn incense?nooopee, but my landlord does and it makes the whole apartment smell terrible so he’s kind of ruined it

77. Ever been in love?yes.

78. Who would you like to see in concert?so many people, rn i wish i could see joan jett

79. What was the last concert you saw?i’m not sure, going to ed sheeran on tuesday though!

80. Hot tea or cold tea?i guess cold? but i don’t really like tea

81. Tea or coffee?COFFEE

82. Favorite type of cookie?the kind with chocolate in it

83. Can you swim well?as long as my head is above water, yes

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?I could once, not sure i still can tbh

85. Are you patient?most of the time?

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?uh, DJ i think, but not one of those who play remixes and has their own ideas. i’m making the playlist for my wedding, thank you (plus future spouse’s stuff of course)

87. Ever won a contest?don’t think so? came 3rd in a writing contest once though

88. Ever have plastic surgery?nah xD

89. Which are better black or green olives?Neither

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?go to town! if you’re conscenting adults, who cares?

91. Best room for a fireplace?living room

92. Do you want to get married?answered, but yes

I can’t believe someone actually wanted me to answer all these, why?? thanks a lot, though!

[joemcginty]

Lee Hazlewood Interview

BACKSTORY:

We were soundchecking for the Nancy Sinatra/Lee Hazlewood Loser’s Lounge shows at Fez in April of 1998, when I was called upstairs to the office for a phone call from Lee Hazlewood’s wife. To put things in perspective, in 1998 Lee Hazlewood was a mystery. No one knew where he was, and attempts to contact him for reissues were met with nasty one word faxes that said “no” and “leave me alone”. Apparently a New York filmmaker (name escapes me, apologies) had tracked him down and was in touch about licensing some of his songs. He told them that a bunch of New York musicians were putting on a show honoring his music and the music he did with Nancy Sinatra.

Thanks for Laris Kreslins and Fred Cisterna at Sound Collector for suggesting the interview.

BACKSTORY:

We were soundchecking for the Nancy Sinatra/Lee Hazlewood Loser’s Lounge shows at Fez in April of 1998, when I was called upstairs to the office for a phone call from Lee Hazlewood’s wife. To put things in perspective, in 1998 Lee Hazlewood was a mystery. No one knew where he was, and attempts to contact him for reissues were met with nasty one word faxes that said “no” and “leave me alone”. Apparently a New York filmmaker (name escapes me, apologies) had tracked him down and was in touch about licensing some of his songs. He told them that a bunch of New York musicians were putting on a show honoring his music and the music he did with Nancy Sinatra.

What could it be? A “cease and desist”? A request for licensing fees? So of course it was with great trepidation that I picked up the phone.  Jeanne Hazlewood introduced herself, and of course it wasn’t like that at all. She was so excited that an evening of Lee’s music was being presented. They wanted programs, and a videotape of the show. Of course I obliged, though still a bit nervous because, well, we take liberties at Loser’s Lounge. We had some fun with the campier numbers (later, when interviewed at WFMU he was warned that Loser’s Lounge often “has some fun” with their tributees, and he responded, “if you’re not having fun, you’re not doing it right”).

Weeks later, after receiving the tape, I got an excited call from Jeanne. He said that Lee was recovering from dental surgery (and perhaps a bit high from pain medication. He loved the tape, even the “porno rap” interpretation of “The Nights” by Double Dong.

The following year Steve Shelley was reissuing some of Lee’s solo albums, and a PR trip was planned to New York, so we coordinated a Loser’s Lounge show so that Lee could attend. He had a great time, sitting in the back, drinking Chivas, flirting with the girls and telling stories about the songs as we played them. People wanted him to sing, but he refused, instead going onstage to make a rambling, funny, and very touching speech. It is one of the highlights of the history of Loser’s Lounge.

This led to him inviting me to his 72nd birthday in Phoenix, where he sang some songs with his old friends including Al Casey. When they played an instrumental version of  “Something Stupid”, with Al playing that signature guitar lick at the intro, it was like, “That’s the guy! That’s the sound”. I got to spend time with his son Mark and daughter Debbie who were both very nice.

A little while after that, he invited me to Beaumont, Texas where he was living to discuss the possibility of the Loser’s Lounge band backing him for a New York show. This, sadly never came to fruition, but it was nice to hang out with him, even if it meant spending several hours in a casino while Jeanne and him played the slot machines. :-)

Here’s the interview for Sound Collector, with some various tidbits that I picked up in conversation. He was a talker, a storyteller, and I wish I had kept better notes at the time.

From Sound Collector magazine.

Let’s talk about when you first became interested in music. Was there music around your house when you were growing up?

Oh yeah. Just normal musicians. Nobody who did it for a living. There was loads of music. My mom liked pop music and my dad liked bluegrass. So she complained always about his liking bluegrass (laughs)—which, by the way was a “love” complaint…I grew up kinda all mixed up. I mean with music.  And then I fell in love with Stan Kenton, and the blues, ‘cause blues comes from this part of the world. So everything’s all mixed up.

When I listen to your records, you can hear both of those elements. There’s a great rootsy feel, but there’s also this elaborate orchestration.

It all goes together. I had never heard any classical music but then I had a year or two (or six months, or 4 months—I can’t remember) of music appreciation. I kind of liked those kinds of strings but it sounded very complicated. The teacher that I had, well he just took it apart and showed how simple it was. He made it as simple as it can be: “Listen to the orchestration and not the melody.” And I thought, “Oh, it is kind of simple, isn’t it.” So I appreciated that a little bit. I hope there’s a little of that in there, too.

Certainly, “Some Velvet Morning”….

(laughs) In those days there was a lot of that kind of stuff

That’s actually an interesting song. Because I had to learn it, I know how tricky it is. It switches tempos, and time signatures…

When I wrote it, I did it just for pure orneriness of the musicians, more than anything else. I said “You see the ending here, it goes 4/4 into 3/4. Don’t worry about it because I can cut it together. We’ll do all the 4/4, then we’ll do the 3/4.” Well, about half of them stood up very, very insulted They really came down on me heavy—“Who do you think we are?” and they were not happy. They just set up and played right through it. And I go, “Okay, all right smartasses, then we’ll do it your way.” Which I thought might happen. I got a lot of good music by pushing guys and doing stuff like that.

By challenging them?

Yeah, and I think some of them knew it, the ones that had been around me. Some of them really got a little bit insulted—that I would suggest that I’d have to cut together something as simple as that. But I’d say “well, you never know”.

It was nice to know that you had the option.

I knew I could cut it together, but I didn’t think I was gonna have to.

The strings on that song are so high, and ethereal. Is there some sort of special effect on them?

I had string players mostly from the LA Philharmonic. They got to like playing that goose-egg rock and roll, because they’d make so much money. They only thing they hated to do was that high string stuff. Actually, they didn’t mind it. I made them stand up.

Really?

No string player likes to stand up to play ‘cause he thinks he’s playing fiddle if he does that. I’d say ”This is a stand-up part.” They’d be “Oh, Lee, we don’t wanna stand.” “This is a stand-up part. It’s out of sight. It’s for dogs, and me. So guys, stand up and go through this a couple of times.” And a lot of times I’d have them stand up and go through it twice (and record) and not tell ‘em. So I’d have two tracks of them put together. And they’d be just that much different.—just an nth off. And I always thought that little nth made an interesting sound. Somebody thought “you put stuff on that” and I said “No, I just recorded ‘em. I had the guys stand up. No secrets. You can come down and watch me stand ‘em up. They hate me for it.” (laughs)

Did you look at them as a whole bunch of fiddles?

A whole bunch. No, I looked at them as a whole bunch of violins. When they worked for me they’d say “You have us doing everything but standing on our heads.” The cello players particularly. We didn’t have viola players. In fact, they (viola players) came to me almost as a union and said “Why don’t you use us?” I said “Because you muddy up my record. I want real high, and I want bottom, and I don’t want you people in there messin’ it up.” They said “We never get to play anything for you, Lee” and I said “Yeah, well, we’ll find somethin’.” I just didn’t like violas. On one song I had 12 cellos. A dumb song, called “My Baby Cried All Night Long”.

That was probably unheard of at the time.

Oh, it was. But the cello players had so much fun, because it was so dumb and almost bluesy, and they could bend notes and stuff. They’d be really vibed. And we got through it, and they’d look up at me, and I’d say ”Aren’t you glad your mother made you practice?” And they’d tap on their little cellos and have a beer, and I’d say “Good night, go home.” I liked those guys. They were weird guys when we first started using them ‘cause they were right out of the orchestra. All of them had their suits and ties on. And then my crew would be sittin’ around: jeans, cigarette hangin’ out of their mouth, everything else. They got to watchin’ my rhythm sections, and trumpet sections, and all the other bums. It wasn’t three months before they were showin’ up with jean shirts on. After six months they were as cool as anybody. They had their tuxes that they’d wear at the Hollywood Bowl, but that’s not what they wore around us. They were great guys. I enjoyed ‘em very, very much.

Was it difficult for them to adapt to rock & roll? Because rhythms and syncopation are different in classical music.

No, because I had the best of ‘em. They played with the greatest conductors in the world, we just had to count ‘em in: ”1, 2, 3, 4…” But they always had a section leader, and they’d watch him, and he’d watch me. I’d say “Lay back a little bit.” They were used to conductors telling them exactly what to play: “A dotted quarter is played da de da.” I would tell ‘em, “Yeah, it may be, but in this instance, let’s just don’t get into it as fast”. I don’t think any of them were over  5’6’ and they were just great. Just unbelievable guys. They’d take turns being concertmaster, because concertmaster got paid double. So I would be “today it’s you, tomorrow it’s you, and so on.” It was the same guys used by Jimmy Poole and Snuff Garret.

The Wrecking Crew?

I didn’t call ‘em the Wrecking Crew, that wasn’t my name. I brought Al Casey with me from Phoenix. I used a rhythm guitarist that nobody else used, a guy named Donnie Owens. Hal Blaine worked for me before he worked for anybody. He was working for Patti Page, then he worked for me, then of course we all spread the word about Hal and all the rest of the guys. Over here they were called the Wrecking Team, but when they worked for Sinatra they were called the B Team. I just called them my rhythm section ‘cause I started a lot of them. Not started, but I got a lot of them a lot of work. And sometimes I couldn’t get ‘em, and that really broke my heart. A year earlier you could call Hal and get him anytime. But there were 4 or 5 producers wanting the same few musicians. But it takes care of itself, ‘cause you’d get some new guys in. And they were good too. They wouldn’t dare show up if they weren’t good.

I want to talk about Duane Eddy, Phil Spector and some of your early recording experiences.

Phil worked for us for awhile. Phil had just started to make records and he came over to Phoenix a few times. I liked Phil. He was more Lester Sills’ protégé than mine. Although Phil asked a lot of questions, and I answered as many as I could.

Do you feel that you were an influence on him?

No, Phil had his own genius. He didn’t need anybody’s influence. He knew what he wanted, went after it, and did one hell of a job.

And what about the famous “grain tank” reverb sound?

Oh that story’s been told about a million times. That was me and Al Casey. Lloyd Ramsey, who owned the studio, likes to take credit for it, but he wasn’t even around. But that’s alright. I had to have an echo. We just went out driving around, ‘cause there’s a lot of places around Phoenix with small grain elevators. So we just went out and yelled in ‘em all day. I yelled, and yelled, and yelled ‘til I found one. So I told the guy, “I’ll take this one.” I said “How much?” And he said “$200.” And I said “$200. Delivered.” He delivered it and there was no room for it in our little studio. So we set it up outside the studio, and put a little microphone at one end and a little speaker at the other. It worked very nice. Gave Duane a lot of hits. It wasn’t all that. But it started up that boomy kind of thing. The only problem that we ever had with it is that birds would sit and chirp on it. It wasn’t a problem on the heavy stuff, but on the ballads, the quiet things, the birds would like to sing along. So we had to have someone out there to shoo the birds away.

How did you get started with Duane Eddy?

I met Duane down in Coolidge, Arizona. He used to come down to the radio station and pick up the country records because we didn’t play much country. He played pretty good Chet Atkins style in those days. Then we used him on some sessions in Phoenix when I moved there. We had tried this kind of thing (that Duane plays) with a couple of other people but it didn’t sound right. When Duane played, it sounded right—that was it! The others sounded like they were doing it for me. Duane sounded like he was doing it for himself. It felt pretty good…a couple million records later! (laughs)

Those records inspired a lot of guitar players.

The thing I like about them, and the thing Duane likes about them, is to read so many times—God, so many times: “I wouldn’t have played guitar if it wasn’t for Duane Eddy.”

I guess putting the guitar in front like that wasn’t so common in those days.

It wasn’t common in rock. You have to remember, there wasn’t anybody doing anything. So it didn’t matter.

It was all new.

You stumbled on to something. This wasn’t stumbled, this was planned. When I was in high school I used to like Eddy Duchin. The one-fingered low piano, on “The Very Thought Of You”, and I thought it would be very nice on guitar and it was. I don’t know why somebody (else) didn’t think of it. That was my contribution. And Duane’s contribution is that he took it and really made something out of it.

He certainly has a unique sound.

His playing is so heavy, it could make you think the Russians are in Brooklyn. I love it!

Was that the first chart success that you had?

The first one was Sanford Clarke, in 1956, “The Fool”.

What prompted the move to LA?

Dot records. They offered me a job that I didn’t want to take, except the money kept going up. After 3 months I knew it was a bad move. But it was a good move in the long run, because I met other people, and I quit Dot way before my year was over. But Andy Wood was very nice. He kept paying me (he thought I was crazy). My deal was such that I could do outside stuff as long as I presented it to him first. So I presented him Duane Eddy, and he turned it down. I did it on the outside. He wouldn’t let me out of my contract. It was all right to do it. He didn’t say I was free (from my contract) or anything. He kept sending me my check every week even though I wasn’t showing up at the office. He did that for a long time, and then finally he quit. (laughs)

How did you hook up with Nancy Sinatra?

Jimmy Bowen. They were kind of going together then. Jimmy lived next door to me—I found his house for him, next door to me in Taluca Lake, North Hollywood. He asked if I was interested in producing Nancy. I said “I’m not interested in producing any second generation artists.” I had spent a year producing Dino, Desi, and Billy. I made a lot of money with it, but I had the option to drop it, and I really did. I told him, “I don’t want to do that anymore. “ He said, “Well, just meet her.” So I did, and I agreed to do one (record). She’s just so personable. The Sinatras have this weird way about ‘em.

Really?

Everbody knows I drink Chivas. When I walked in their house to meet with Nancy (she was living with her mom then), all along the walls, cleverly displayed, were all these bottles of Chivas lined up. And a bunch of my friends were there. It was Bobby Darin, a bunch more, and I’m thinkin’ “Wait a minute, What is this? I haven’t seen these people in months.”

So they threw a little party for you!

In a way. We were getting along alright, ‘cause Nancy and I, we never had any problems. Halfway through the evening her dad comes through the door and meets me. They go in the kitchen and they’re talking. He comes out, shakes my hand and says “I’m glad you kids are going to be working together” and then walks out the door. I had only said that I’d come over and meet her!

I guess once Frank says that…

Well, I gave ’em one shot. We did alright together.

“These Boots Are Made For Walkin’” certainly defines the swingin’ 60s era…

It’s been good. It’s been kind.

How did that song evolve? The bass line is such a hook in that song.

It’s all mine. I used to sing it. All the time. It’s all I used to sing. It was written as a party song, with only two verses.

And there was some controversy about the lyrics?

The controversy was “mess.” “Mess” down here where I live, in those days was “fuck.” If somebody said “What’d you do last night?” “I was out messin’.” I thought it was that way all over the world. But it wasn’t that way in Chicago, New York, or LA.

So it didn’t get a warning sticker from the PMRC?

Well….

I’d like to talk about Suzi Jane Hokum. You guys worked together a lot.

Oh yeah. We had a lot of fun. I used her to do Nancy’s demos, which she hated. She said, “I really hate to do the demos for her, cause she does them exactly like me, dammit!”

Also, she produced the International Submarine Band…

She did, for my little label. She said, “I wanna do these.” I said, “Do ‘em.” I had nothing to do with it. They always associate that with me, but I’ve told everybody over the years that she did it.

When the Byrds recorded “Sweethearts of the Rodeo” and Gram Parsons was still under contract to you…

We had some problems there, but we straightened them out. He had to pay back all his royalties and everything. But he had to pay back through earnings, and I knew he never would.

There must have been something special about him, when you signed him to your label..

No. I signed him because of Suzi Jane. I’m not as clever as people think sometimes. She’s clever. She heard something that I didn’t. I heard a little of it. It was fine with me. I promised her that she could do it.

You recorded a lot of music. Were you completely busy all the time?

Quite a bit ‘til I stopped. When your children start calling you “Uncle Daddy” it’s time to stop. I seldom get asked to do anything now, which is really great. Even up until the 90s, people would ask, “Would you be interested in doing this group?,” and if there’s anything I hate now, it’s the studio. Too many hours. People forget.

Certainly a lot of time went into making your records. People don’t make records that way any more.

They don’t take the time.

A room filled with musicians, playing together live…

Handmade records…

Sometimes Al (Casey) and I go in and do a few things now and then, but I even dislike the time it takes to do that.

You don’t have the patience?

Not the patience…

You’re just enjoying life now…

Yeah, but it’s fun. I enjoy it for the time that I do it.

Your new songs sound great!

All 3 of them. And you got one of ‘em!

(A new Lee Hazlewood song, “For My Birthday (A Pear of Apple or Blue Jaguar)” appears on the upcoming Loser’s Lounge CD)

Yes, and everybody’s very excited about it!

(laughs) I’ll bet!

Another favorite record of mine is the 1929 Crash Band

Oh, that’s fun. That’s another thing I did for me. I wanted to do some ricky-tick things.

Those are great versions of those songs.

And great guys on there playing.

Who played on it?

I don’t remember all of ‘em. It’s Hal Blaine, Don Randi. All those guys.

You had a long relationship with Billy Strange.

He’s so tall. I screamed at his belt buckle a lot. Bill and I got along great

Those arrangements are great.

I’d sing parts to him a lot. That bugged him a lot. I’d sing parts, sing string lines, sing this, sing that. Not all of the time, but a lot of the time. He used to write these arrangements that were so cool, and I’d tear ‘em all apart and break his heart. It bothered Bill a lot. But, we got along fine. I’ll tell you where he was great: out on the road. Havin’ Billy out there was great.

You didn’t play live that much.

We did Vegas, Tahoe, and stuff like that. In ’95 she (Nancy) did about 10 or 12 dates. Billy wasn’t on that tour, though. We had Don Randi.

I saw the Limelight show. It was exciting!

Limelight’s a weird place. Kind of weird for an old cowboy.

It was packed to the gills. Everybody was there.

Oh, it was fun. My part’s easy. I’d just come in, stumble through a couple of songs, and go home. That’s what I liked about that.

When you guys did “Summer Wine” there was such an air of anticipation, because you don’t come in ‘til the second verse. I thought that was clever staging.

That’s all Nancy. She’s really good at stuff like that.

I guess she has showbiz in her blood.

Exactly, (imitates snare hits) “Ta-da, ta-da.” Of course, she was a little anxious too, that I’d show up and everything.

You made a lot of records. Is there anything you expected to be a big hit that wasn’t?

Every one of ‘em (laughs). No, I didn’t. Most of the ones that I wanted to sell, sold something. Some of them have sold over the years that are surprising. For a guy that’s written around 200 songs, I guess the average is pretty good.

When did it start to occur to you that there’s a resurgence of interest in your music.

I didn’t know there was. People would tell me about it in the beginning of the 90s. A few things, like the tour in 95: People paying money to see a couple of old son of a bitches get up and stumble through some songs—it’s remarkable!

There was excitement about that tour, because you hadn’t been heard from in a long time. I guess you’re regarded as a mystery.

Well, I am. Let’s keep it that way!

Plus, neither Nancy or you fell into the trap of the “oldies” circuit.

We never worked enough. I never did, with Nancy, except for a few of the big things. Most of the work I did (playing live) was in Europe. I knew exactly what I could do in Europe. It’s so much easier.

Even still, many American artists are much more appreciated over there.

Well, if I’m considered an “artist.” I’m gonna work over there this summer. 4 or 5 cities. They’re adding a few more.

I’m a fan of piano bars, and you had a good piano bar story last time we met.

That was out on the strip. (Excitedly) Oh, that was great! ‘Cause everybody had their song, and you daren’t (to use an old word)—you dare not—sing their song. Of course you could walk in and think, “I’ll do (whatever) song.” And then there’s these 15 people at the bar. So there’d be 30 eyes of hate. And you’d go, “What did I do? What did I do?” They’d say, “You know, that’s Harold’s song. He’s not here tonight. He’s got a cold.” “Harold who? Harold Arlen, the songwriter?” “No. Harold sings that song!” And these people, they owned the bar. They didn’t really own the bar, but they owned the bar as far as they were concerned. My friend told me, “You gotta see this!” And I said, “I don’t like piano bars” He says, “You’re gonna love this one. You’ve never seen people own songs!” Al (Casey) and I would sit there and watch these people. Of course, they all sang, and when they sang, all the other 14 applauded.

And it was set up so anyone could wander in off the strip and sing. They had lyrics there in front of you and everything. So if you got up to sing, you’d get hate looks throughout the whole song and then afterwards (unless you had your people in a table close by), you wouldn’t hear any applause. You wouldn’t even hear nice, kind, “courage” applause (that you had the courage to get up there). Not even two hands clapping together! Just these people staring at you like this: “That’s Harold’s song.”

Did you ever get up and sing?

No, no. They were singing my songs, but it was so much fun to watch. They were all about the age of 65 on up. It was their roost. And they roosted. They would roast you at their roost! I took a lot of people there. They’d say, “How did you find this place?” I mean these guys were like the Attila the Hun group. Really! And you’d break up. I don’t know if other people came for that reason. But whoever told me about it (I can’t remember) said, “Sit close to the piano, but not at the piano bar—that would ruin it (because you might take Harold’s seat). And just listen.” By the way, it wasn’t (whispers) “He’s singing Harold’s song!” in a stage whisper. It was (loudly) “THAT”S HAROLD’S SONG!”

Sounds like it’d be great movie.

Oh, it is. It was so funny! So much fun. At least a short film: The Piano Bar. At most piano bars, they want you get up and sing. And I don’t like ‘em (piano bars), but I went to this one. Friends would say “What are you doing going there?” I’d say, “You’ve got to go with me.” They’d say, “I’ll go with you, because I can’t imagine you sitting through this stuff. Bad singers, songs you don’t like.” But this I liked!

Was there a wide range of singers, some good some bad?

They were all my (present) age or older. They know only 2 or 3 songs each. 15 people sitting around the piano bar, that’s 45 songs. And the songbook had about 50 lyrics in it. The only song left that they didn’t bother with was the lyrics from “Rocky” (laughter). That’s probably the only kind of song that would be left for you to sing. All the other songs: “That’s Harold’s song!”

MORE NOTES FROM HANGING OUT WITH LEE:

“These Boots Are Made For Walking”:

“I was at a redneck bar waiting for my friend. My friend was running late, so I was there by myself. There were these tough guys teasing one of them about his young bride. They were making fun of him and he was getting pissed off. Finally, when he had enough, he told them, “See these boots? They’re made for walking. And they’re gonna walk all over you”. Then he stormed out. I made a note to myself. Thank god my friend was late!”

Shel Silverstein:

“I used to see Shel Silverstein at the Playboy Club. He told me he wanted to start writing songs. I told him all you need is four chords in two keys, so I showed him.”

“Houston”

“I never would bring booze to the recording sessions. Jimmy Bowen was Dean Martin’s producer. They were recording “Houston” and he invited me down, since it was my song. Since it was Dean, I brought a bottle of scotch. As the session wore on, there was less and less scotch in the bottle. They were having trouble finding the right percussion for the intro. Trying cowbell, tambourine, and so forth. Finally, they run the song and the intro is perfect. And it’s Hal playing the empty scotch bottle.”

“Something Stupid”

“I was trying to get away for the weekend with Mark (my son). He was getting into trouble at school and I thought it would be good to have a father-son weekend out in Malibu. They wanted me to produce “Something Stupid”, but I told Jimmy that he should do it, since he was Frank’s producer. He kept insisting that we do it together. I kept trying to get out of it, making excuses, ‘I’m in Malibu with my son’ and so forth. Next thing you know, a helicopter shows up, sent by Frank. That’s how I ended up as co-producer.”

Glen Campbell:

“Glen used to sing on my demos. Until he wouldn’t. I called him up once, and he said ‘have you seen the charts? I’m done singing on demos!”

“Because They’re Young”

“I really wanted the theme. I fought and fought for it, raised a temper tantrum. The producers had this song they kept trying to push on me. I kept insisting on my song. Finally, I listened to their song and took my demo and threw it across the room. That was it. When we went to record it, the other guitarists on the date were Howard Roberts and Barney Kessel, which made Duane nervous as shit because they were his heroes.”

[sere22world]

modern life causes tooth decay, and care is unaffordable

Light gently touches the town on the morning of fall Friday: farmers and miners Bank, grocery store

Letteredsignboard is a yellow brick court that advertises sugar for sale.

In many ways, this is Jonesville, the county seat of Lee County, the poorest county in Virginia, and the farthest Appalachian county here.

On this day, all the attention is focused on the suburbs, where the preparations for the free health clinic will be held on the weekend at the small airport are in progress.

The first group of patients will begin to arrive in a few hours.

They will come from roads and highways, nearby towns and valleys further away from southwest Virginia and Kentucky.

Some people hardly have enough gas to go to Jonesville.

A woman drove from Tennessee with her broken glasses in her arms.

Truck and chestx-

Raymachine has stopped at one end of the runway.

When the sky is a little clear, an old plane will fly on the mountain, bringing folding dental chairs, medical equipment, surgical gauze and glove boxes from Knoxville.

The clinic is organized by the medical volunteer team in remote areas (RAM)

This is a non-profit organization that has led hundreds of missions since its inception in 1985 and has brought medical aid to some of the poorest places on Earth.

This will be Ram\'s first visit to Jonesville.

But health problems in the Appalachian region

Cancer, diabetes, joint injury

Nothing new.

Bad teeth are nothing new.

Toothache is nothing new. In LeeCounty —

Remote, isolated and poor

The shortage of various health care is a long-term problem.

Insufficient staff in main and mental health care.

The shortage of dentists is the worst.

According to federal estimates, about 49 million Americans live in communities designated as dental specialty shortages --

One of them is LeeCounty.

If there is a shortage of local dentists like Li county, there is also a shortage of money to pay them.

\"These people are not forgotten,\" explains John Osborne, head of dental at RAM, a Knoxville dentist.

\"The system has passed.

\"At these free weekend clinics, hundreds, sometimes even thousands of sore teeth are pulled out.

Loss of teeth due to illness may indicate other loss of quality of life.

In terms of oral health, complete tooth loss or tooth loss is called \"the ultimate sign of the burden of disease \".

This is a symbol of failure.

The teeth after tooth extraction will not grow back.

However, when routine care is delayed for a long time, when more complex procedures cannot be realized or selected, the extract meets the urgent need to relieve infection and relieve pain.

The news of the Li County RAM clinic program captured headlines in local newspapers.

People talked about it in churches, gas stations and coffee shops in the United States for a few days. S. 58 bypass.

At the airport this Friday, as volunteers struggled to build a field hospital with tents and folding tables, excitement filled the air.

Volunteer doctors, nurses, dentists and health workers are from out of town \".

A man with a \"friend of coal\" bumper sticker on his truck came here with a pizza.

A member of the high school football team, General Li county, is waiting in a red-numbered jersey to help unload the plane and eat pizza on the runway quietly and hungry.

Then there\'s a deep one.

You can hear the roar of throated, and everyone looks up at the sky.

\"Here comes the plane!

Shouted someone.

WarII-vintageC-World

47 freighters landed smoothly, then glistening on the narrow runway at the foot of the mountain.

Stan Brok, founder of Ram, a skinny, charismatic Englishman

Bornadventurer greeted the crowd in a calm, serious way.

As usual, he was wearing a rustic shirt and trousers, all brown.

Block was known for its water dragon fish in the 1960 s-wrestling co-

Star of Omaha Wild Kingdom TV show mutual aid.

When he launched RAM, his initial goal was to provide health care to people living in remote areas

He visited the third world during his trip.

But when he found out that the United States had someone in urgent need of help, he began organizing clinics closer to home. (

Block died in August 29, 2018 after the book was published. He was 82.

The organization he created, \"Medical in remote areas\", is continuing his work. )

Brok told the football players that the plane they saw was used to invade.

One day, young people of their own age parachuted out of the plane at June parach6, 1944.

\"A lot of young people didn\'t come back,\" he explained, as the football players listened with a shy attention.

Then it\'s time to go to work.

These actions honed by Brock over the years are military-accurate and help convey their urgency.

In the direction of Brok, football players began to transport carefully organized boxes of materials from the plane.

Slowly and methodically, the hospital finally took shape on the weekend.

Areas are set up for medical tests and exams.

Glasses are provided free of charge.

Airport waiting room transformed into asix-

President of dental clinic

When the cold of the evening fell on the mountain, a row of cars and pickup trucks were already formed on the way to the airport.

In the darkness before dawn on Saturday, about 400 people were waiting. Worn-

Out-of-town miners, old farmers, tired housewives, and unemployed workers all took their numbers at the door, wrapped in coats and blankets.

Charlton Strader, a retired construction director with tremor and chronic blocked lung disease, said he had dental benefits in the past, but he lost them.

He said his teeth had begun to \"break \".

\"I have always had a problem that bothers me,\" he said . \".

Randy Peters, a former miner and bed-pad worker with multiple hardening, also suffers from his teeth.

\"I have several broken and several bad tooth decay,\" he said . \".

\"So I can\'t eat.

Ernest hodeway, a disabled miner, said he was here to pull his teeth.

\"It won\'t hurt you, but it will,\" he predicted . \"

When he had to leave the coal mine, his dental insurance was over.

Now his teeth are beginning to disappoint him.

\"My teeth have been fine until I start taking arthritis drugs,\" he explained . \".

\"No one wants to lose their teeth.

I heard you have a good life for a few years.

\"He said he had just paid off the $1,500 he owed for pulling out three bad molars teeth, and he was told to pull out these bad molars teeth before knee surgery.

He is still fighting to save his leg. He showed it.

Terrible swelling.

\"I\'m a good person, but I\'m sure I \'ve been tested,\" he said . \".

When the sun rises completely, the city center of Jonesville is empty.

\"Everyone was pulled out of their teeth at Ram,\" said the waitress at the coffee shop . \".

Throughout the day, the patient came out of the dental clinic and clenched the gauze between the remaining teeth.

They sit in the folding chair under the tent to recover, or wait for friends and relatives who are still in service.

\"I \'ve been pulled twice,\" said unemployed nurse Emma Marcy . \".

\"One was infected under the filler.

Marsee\'s daughter, a waitress, is also waiting to be taken care of in the tent.

Marsee says her financial security depends on her smile.

\"It\'s all about appearance,\" said Marsee, a strawberry blonde with golden eyes.

Who wants a waitress with bad teeth \"if you\'re not healthy --

Look at the individual ,[customers]

Don\'t want that person to take care [them].

Everyone in that big tent is struggling.

\"It\'s hard in this area because there\'s no work,\" Marsee said . \".

Even if people are sitting in folding chairs, some people\'s behavior shows fatalism and they are tired of themselves.

Destruction: The girl with her teeth badly rotted drank another Coke.

A thin mother holds a cup of sweet juice waiting for the baby to see the dentist.

The woman who smoked the cigarette coughed so badly.

A study by the Southwest Virginia Federation of graduate medical education found that \"nerves\" are a common complaint in the region.

\"The neural cause that is often reported is that there are too many problems and too few solutions,\" the authors of a study on the problem found (

Southwest Virginia Federation of graduate medical education, \"Report to the Virginia Parliament, January 2008).

The consortium concluded that residents in the area were more likely to commit suicide than people living elsewhere in the state.

Marsee is also familiar with the dark side.

\"Drug abuse in this area is terrible,\" she said . \"

It\'s shown in some hopeless drugs. Black Teeth

The region has long been poor, but people hate to move on.

\"Your roots are here,\" Marsee said . \".

\"It\'s hard to leave it.

\"There is an ancient and beautiful theme --

The green woods are shrouded in the mountains.

The love of family, the good of neighbors, the good of strangers.

When they die, the teeth burn.

This is a very old pain.

There is silent evidence on the human fossil record: the unearthed ancient mummy with a parcel on the lower jaw.

Alaska\'s front teeth, tired of a simple tool, sometimes between 1300 and 1700. D.

Apparently to relieve the abscess.

The teeth of the Danish people in the Middle Ages have a rosary (

Charlotte Roberts and Keith Manchester, Archaeology of diseases, 82).

Decay is a progressive disease that, if not controlled, causes extreme pain and tooth shedding.

There are many factors.

Diet plays a major role.

In a very old age, when there is less and less exquisite food, toothache is a curse of privilege.

When sugar becomes cheaper, tooth decay, the main cause of toothache, becomes more common.

The habit of drinking sweet soda has been widely influenced.

A stable bath of sugar will never allow the teeth to be repaired and remineralised on their own.

Now, hundreds of ordinarythe-

Prescription drugs taken by millions of Americans make teeth more prone to illness.

One of their side effects is dry mouth, which reduces the natural flow of saliva to clean and buffer teeth, helping to protect teeth from decay.

If there is no fluoride to strengthen the teeth, there is not enough regular home care, and there is no timely professional care, the process of the disease will progress.

Severe toothache is not uncommon.

Millions of Americans experience toothache.

A study by the American Dental Association found that economic factors were the main reason why Americans delayed access to the required professional dental care.

Private or even public dental benefits can help pay for services.

But in 2014, it was estimated that there was a complete shortage of Americans.

While the national health care reform plan, which signed into law in 2010, took significant steps to expand access to dental services for children, it did less in addressing the system of adult fragmentation.

Even many working adults with private health insurance do not have adequate dental insurance.

While regular preventive visits can be covered, beneficiaries typically need to pay a percentage of the cost of surgery such as filling, Crown, root canal and implants, which can run to hundreds, thousands of dollars. Among U. S.

A 2015 survey found that for adults struggling with unpaid medical expenses, 12 u202f % of dental bills accounted for the largest share of the bills they paid for the problem.

The researchers concluded: \"Insurance is not a panacea for solving these problems . \"

Most people with dental benefits will lose them after retirement.

Health insurance is a health care program in the United States that covers about 55 million elderly and disabled people, but does not include regular dental services.

Of the more than 1 million residents in nursing homes in the United States, many have particularly severe dental problems.

Since 1987, when federal law sets new standards for institutions receiving health insurance and Medicaid funding, nursing homes are required to provide oral health care services.

However, in the daily cycle of cleaning, turning over and replacing bedridden and disabled patients, simple brushing and dentures care is often overlooked.

The authors of a survey note: \"Clinical studies in most nursing home residents report that oral hygiene is generally inadequate and that related dental, gum, and periodontal conditions are also prevalent . \".

\"Medical and care services are provided almost uniformly, while dental and mental health services are rarely provided.

\"Visits by dental professionals are also rare in many institutions.

Many patients at Louis Anna State dentist Gregory Falls say he has been in his rounds of nursing homes and has not been cared for years.

When he looked at the mouth of a new patient, he was not surprised to find rotten, rampant infections, broken limbs in his teeth, and even cancer in his mouth.

As the dental director of these families, he was given an allowance.

Most patients receive Medicaid, but there are very few adult dental benefits in the state.

Folse estimated that he donated more services than he charged for Medicaid.

He said that he travels 40 to 50,000 miles through the jungle and the Bay every year, drives a pickup truck, carries portable tools and instruments, sets up facilities in nursing homes, community rooms and beauty salons to repair false teeth, tooth extraction.

\"900 patients with severe gum disease or abscess.

Half my patients.

I took all the swollen ones away.

Everyone is in pain.

All the loose teeth

I help them as much as I can.

No money, no money.

Families pay some, nursing homes.

Nobody pays sometimes. I do it.

\"It\'s a challenge for some patients to have dementia and let them open their mouths.

The work is rewarding, he said.

\"I have a patient in a wheelchair.

She had a stroke.

She was happy to have her dentures.

She reached out and grabbed her wallet.

She got inside.

She found a piece of bread. ‘Here doc. Take it.

\"I don\'t want to eat her last piece of bread,\" FRES said with a smile . \".

\"I don\'t know how long it took to put it at the bottom of her wallet.

We have to give up because we are rich.

She gave me her poverty.

\"The rate of tooth damage is a serious economic indicator.

The poor are more likely to suffer from toothache.

Their oral health is worse and it\'s hard to find a dentist who will treat them.

The lack of funding to pay for health care is a major hurdle: one out of every five Americans is covered with Medicaid, a huge federal

The national health care program for the poor.

However, since only a small number of dentists see Medicaid patients, insurance does not guarantee access to treatment.

Under Medicaid, children are entitled to dental care, but often face difficulties in accessing services.

Less than half of dentists see any Medicaid patients in most states included in the 2010 study in the United States. S.

Office of Government Accountability

A 2016 study by the American Dental Association found that in the program\'s database of insured children, the proportion of dentists registered as Medicaid providers nationwide was 42.

But this percentage does not necessarily reflect the percentage of dentists actually participating in this program.

\"That doesn\'t mean you see a child with Medicaid.

That doesn\'t mean you have an open date, \"said Marko Vujicic, an economist who helped lead the study.

\"Think of it as what it is.

This is the best data we have.

\"This is more difficult for adult beneficiaries of Medicaid.

Adult dental benefits are an optional part of the state Medicaid program.

They are the first line of projects during the fiscal tightening period and will eventually become the chopping board for the budget.

Toothache is the destroyer of sleep.

They make it very painful to eat, work and raise children.

It is the poor who are most likely to pray to heaven for relief.

They resort to legal and illegal drugs and civilian remedies.

Some even pulled their teeth out of despair.

In the free clinic in Li county, in the solid, stoic mountain people, Tabitha Hay, her fragile face and dark eyes looked like a lost Tropical was blown away by the storm.

She and her motherin-

Lao and her husband arrived at the clinic after the 13 th.

Bellevue, Florida is an hour\'s drive away. They were self-employed.

They clean the house and take care of the pets. off retirees.

After work on Friday night, they drove all night to Jonesville.

All three of them need to be taken care of, but Tabitha, twenty

Six, the most needed.

She was hurt by a molar tooth that rotted under the filling.

\"I feel like my chin is squashed,\" she said . \".

\"Sometimes the pressure is like an explosion.

I\'m hungry, but I can\'t eat it.

In order to sleep, I have to put a heating pad on it and nothing can eliminate the pain.

\"After missing a week of work, she tried to get back to work the day before her trip.

\"I try to work.

I can\'t do anything.

I cried in the back seat.

A dentist in Florida told her that the cost of the withdrawal would reach $500, she said.

That\'s the money she didn\'t have.

She arrived too late to receive care at the free clinic on Saturday.

She was told to wait until Sunday.

At night, she slept in red Kia with her husband and mother --in-

Face another night of pain.

[amour-fo-u]

1-92 ;P

dang okay thank u

-

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

-nah

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

-nope

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

-lol no

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

-a little 

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

-i have not

6. What are you excited for?

-getting paid lmaoooo

7. What happened tonight?

-uhhh i got some heels n i made my grocery list

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

-no

9. Is confidence cute?

-sometimes

10. What is the last beverage you had?

-cherry pepsi lmao

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

-lol none really 

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

-all of my jeans are skinnyyyyyyy!!!

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

-nothing probably tbh

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

-bills

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

-no lol

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

-yeah probably

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

-no one honestly lol 

18. The last time you felt broken?

-hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 

19. Have you had sex today?

-nope

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

-yeah i’m too good for like 99% of the people in my life

21. Are you in a good mood?

-yes

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

-YEAH sharks are cool af

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

-nope!!!

24. What do you want right this second?

-a glass of water and some pineapple lmao 

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

-would probably just cry a bunch tbh

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

-yes

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

-definitely not 

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

-my dad made fun of my sister for something lmao

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

-yeaaaaah

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

-no def not

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

-no

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

-yes

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

-nope lol

34. Listening to?

-Homeward Bound by simon & garfunkel

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

-sometimes

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

-nope

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

-no

38. Who did you last call?

-my mom

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

-my nephew!!!! lol

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

-i didn’t have any say in it lmao 

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

-my nephews bday party

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

-no

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

-yeah im always embarrassing

44. Do you tan in the nude?

-nah

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

-yes

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

-no

47. Who was the last person to call you?

-my dad lmao

48. Do you sing in the shower?

-oui

49. Do you dance in the car?

-i dance hard af

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

-i wish that would be cool af

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

-when i was 15 lol 

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

-yeah but i love it 

53. Is Christmas stressful?

-yes 

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

-i have eaten MANY 

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

-uhhhh idk i dont rlly like pie

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

-president, lawyer, astronaut, vet, teacher, i wanted to own an ice cream shop for animals as well lmao 

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

-im not sure

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

-of course 

59. Take a vitamin daily?

-no

60. Wear slippers?

-nope

61. Wear a bath robe?

-no

62. What do you wear to bed?

-t-shirt and undies

63. First concert?

-ADTR lmao 

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

-target babiiiie

65. Nike or Adidas?

-nike

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

-fritos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

-peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

-no idea lmao 

69. Ever take dance lessons?

-nope

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

-i’ve never thought of that. maybe a teacher?

71. Can you curl your tongue?

-yes

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

-almost but nope ;(

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

-yessss when my nephew smiled at me for the first time lol

74. What is your favorite book?

-i dunno!

75. Do you study better with or without music?

-it honestly depends, but usually with music

76. Regularly burn incense?

-yes

77. Ever been in love?

-yesss

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

-fuckin uhhhhh i dunno 

79. What was the last concert you saw?

-Fall Out Boy in 2015 lmao

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

-depends on the flavor of tea but i drink more hot tea

81. Tea or coffee?

-coffee

82. Favorite type of cookie?

-shortbread cookie

83. Can you swim well?

-not sure tbh 

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

-yes

85. Are you patient?

-i have been told that i am !!

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

-band

87. Ever won a contest?

-nope

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

-no

89. Which are better black or green olives?

-i’ve never had an olive before lol so idk

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

-if its what ya wanna do then go for it

91. Best room for a fireplace?

-living room or a library

92. Do you want to get married?

-lmao yes so so bad