#AND PLANT DAUGHTER STAYED SMOL

[loosescrewslefty]

I have been obsessed with interested in comparing the different heights between the characters for a while now, using Eda's mugshot from Once Upon a Swap and screencaps of the characters standing next to Eda for the sake of comparison. And now I am crying heavily, because Hunter has had a MAJOR growth spurt in the months he spent on Earth (which I hoped would be the case. growth hormones are released in teens while they are sleeping, and Hunter has had a very poor sleep schedule before this point, so it makes sense that he'd shoot right up once he was in a more stable household)

Prior to the time skip, Hunter was around 6'0/6'1

But post time skip has him right under Eda's 6'5, when we use Luz as a point of comparison.

For those who are curious, Willow stands at 5'0

which means that the gap we see in the promo pic is legitimately their new height difference (as I secretly hoped it would be) and not just a difference in their footing.

So have fun with that, fellow Huntlow stans. <3

[dwarveslikeshinythings]

Hey, please scream about Turgon and Elenwë at your earliest convenience.

HI, DO YOU HAVE APPROXIMATELY 200,000 YEARS TO SPARE?

NO? 'THAT'S AN UNREASONABLE AMOUNT OF TIME,' YOU SAY?

FINE, I WILL ATTEMPT TO CONDENSE THIS INTO ONE TUMBLR POST.

TOP 10 HEADCANONS/THOUGHTS ABOUT TURGONxELENWE:

I think their attraction to one another was instant. Literally I headcanon a "spotted across a crowded square in Valimar" meetcute, in which Turgon thinks "WOW THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SMOL WOMAN I HAVE EVER SEEN WITH MY OWN TWO EYEBALLS" and Elenwë is like "check out that stern-faced hottie with a bodyyyy" 👀👀. And of course Turgon is Socially Awkward AF, but luckily Finrod is RIGHT THERE to witness EVERYTHING and plays wingman.

As implied above, the height difference between the two of them is REAL. Turgon loves scooping his little wife up in his arms. Elenwë has never once protested about this.

My headcanon Elenwë is the daughter of a prominent Vanya, so she's very dainty and poised and lovely, but she also loves to laugh and be merry.

Elenwë thinks Turgon's social awkwardness is THE MOST ENDEARING THING and she teases him about it ENDLESSLY, but always with love.

Turgon is Bad At Talking, but he writes THE SWEETEST love letters, which is good, because for awhile they're long-distancing it from Tirion and Valimar.

Turgon is also Very Bad at Asking For What He Wants, always. But fortunately for him, Elenwë is very good at Knowing Exactly What Her Husband Wants, always. (But she will MAKE HIM use his words in order to get it, dammit! XD)

Turgon loves to plan things and sketch out plans for buildings and cities. Elenwë loves to watch him work, and will always come take his quill away from him and drag him from his desk whenever she senses he needs a break.

I think Turgon begins to hear faint whispers from Ulmo from very early on in Valinor, whenever he ventures close to the sea. He confides in Elenwë about it, she tells him it means he's destined by the Valar to do great things. To which he responds that he doesn't wish for greatness, only to have her by his side always. 😭

Turgon was THE HAPPIEST he's ever been in his life during the time Elenwë was pregnant with Idril, and he cried with happiness when his daughter was born with his wife's same golden hair.

Turgon had a lot of angst over the fact that his mother decided to stay behind in Valinor during the flight of the Noldor, and he feared that Elenwë would make a similar choice, not wishing to be parted from her kindred. He was SO RELIEVED when she told him (several times over, because it took a hot second for him to be able to slow his anxious mind down and listen) that under no circumstances would she ever willingly leave him and Idril. 😭😭😭

BONUS: Turgon built Gondolin in tribute to Elenwë. He chose white stone because his wife always wore a gown of white, and his favorite time of day is dawn, when the golden sun crests over the mountains and sparkles against the pristine courtyards. He plants her favorite flowers all over Tumladen, and he spends months carving a statue of her in a very prominent place in the city. Idril knows she can always find him staring at it whenever he's troubled or anxious about something.

ANYWAY, THOSE ARE A FEW UNFILTERED THOUGHTS. I'M GOING TO GO SCREAM INTO A PAPER BAG NOW OVER HOW MUCH I LOVE MY PRECIOUS DOOMED BABIES!

[and if you want a slightly unhinged one-shot, here's a lil Orpheus/Eurydice inspired TurgonxElenwe drabble.]

[frodo-with-glasses]

Discord Highlights: Headcanon Marathon

Meg suggested I write this all as a bullet point list instead of copying the chat this time; which is probably a good idea considering the workload here LOL

On the night of 5/4/23, we here at the Fig Tree Discord Server got together and headcanoned:

Primrose Gamgee is a redhead like her mother

Prim was born deaf

Prim and her brother Bilbo are thick as thieves

Signing doesn't come naturally to Bilbo, but he tries his hardest, and Prim understands him anyway

Goldilocks may or may not be named the way she is because Sam wanted to name a daughter Galadriel but Rosie wanted the hobbit version so they compromised

For the first like four years of her life Goldi thought she was named after a flower like her big sisters and was very confused why her parents laughed when she asked to plant goldilocks in the garden

Frodo later comforts her like "it's okay they can't plant Frodo either" and that got her giggling like crazy

She decides dandelions are goldilockses and is delighted when they show up in the yard

Sam is not

Actually Sam is just fine with this because hobbit lawns encourage natural biodiversity and also dandelions are good in salads

The Gamgee family is a big loud singing household

The Sound of Music, but it's Bag End

Fatty Bolger has three daughters and no other kids

One is Athelas, nicknamed Addie

Addie got sick when she was young and lost most of her hearing

Addie is best friends with Prim Gamgee

Addie and Prim hang out all the time and, in addition to being fluent in SSL (Shire Sign Language), they also constantly make up their own nonsense signs so that no one else can understand them

Another Bolger daughter is Azalea, nicknamed Azzie

Azzie and Addie are very close in age

(Not sure if we reached a consensus on who's older, but I feel like Azzie is older)

Azzie is a natural storyteller; she gets it from her dad

Since she tells her stories with both her voice and her hands it's somehow more spellbinding

She discovered puppet shows at the age of 3 and a half and was instantly hooked

When she's older, she makes her own puppets

Puts on puppet shows for her family

They don't have any talking, just Action, and Addie loves the action best

She used to put on shows for Baby Heather before she was ambulatory and got quite offended once Heather was old enough to crawl away

The youngest Bolger daughter is Heather

Heather is a good deal younger than her sisters and is spoiled rotten but she's the sweetest thing

Heather is constantly hungry and always eating, and yet she stays Very Short

She's perfectly healthy and round, just Smol

Mental image: Four girl hobbits (Prim, Addie, Azzie, and Heather) in a blanket tent, signing rapidly to each other, and no words can be heard but an unending stream of giggles

They're having a sleepover and Fatty has to keep coming in to tell them to be quiet. Heather and Azzie promise they'll hush, but Prim and Addie don't realize how loud they're being and it just sets the other two off all over again.

Azzie hears the story of Beren and Luthien from Prim's dad (very important he is, he's the mayor, you know!), and she sews her own puppets and puts on a show of it

The Beren puppet has a hand that's held on by a button

Once (don't ask me how) Aragorn and Arwen get to watch Azzie's Beren and Luthien show

They have nothing but positive reviews

(Even if Baby Heather tried to eat the wolf puppet halfway through)

Arwen is delighted and wants to help Azzie make some beautiful blinged out elvish puppets with gems sewn into them

Azzie never uses them but they are kept in a glass box and TreasuredTM

Fatty likes to wrestle with his friends' sons, since he has no boys of his own

Addie, however, is a tomboy and WILL go at it with her father if given the chance

Addie and Frodo Gamgee got in a fight once. For fun. She's four years younger than Frodo, and bby Frodo had to suffer a lecture from his no-nonsense dad, but Addie got off easy and Frodo still holds a bit of a grudge lol

He still thinks she's cool tho

(To which I suggested: "ship??" and got at least one eyes emoji, so there's that)

Prim is neither the best friend who's always talking Addie down, nor the best friend who's constantly hyping her up, but the best friend who hangs back like "I won't stop you but you should NOT"

Secretly Prim likes tending wounds

She has a makeshift vet office in the backyard

Bby Bilbo brings her his dragon (it's a lizard named Smaug)

(I suggested the lizard actually be a skink but the jury's still out on that one)

The Gamgees do not have pets, as a rule, but many animals and pet bugs are either smuggled or wander in

Rosie like "where's my best pot??" too bad now it's the home of Pippin's grasshopper

The Tooks, on the other hand, have lots of pets and very absurd ones too

Real conversation between Goldilocks and Rosie: "But Ma, why can't I play with the snake?" "Because it's poisonous. If it bites you, you will die." "But Faramir has a pet snake." "Faramir has a what now"

When they're older, Faramir and Goldie end up being that super weird couple with exotic pets and no kids for a very long time

"Ma when we get married we'll have snakes" "No Goldi" "Ma Faramir said so" "SAM call off the marriage" "They're seven, love—" "Call it off"

Mental Image: Estella is a fantastic baker. She's in the kitchen at Crickhollow or Brandyhall with a mess of little girls—her nieces and daughter(s)—all around her, talking and signing instructions, and no one is listening to her, and there's flour EVERYWHERE, and she's getting exasperated but simultaneously loving it

Elanor, being the oldest of a TON of younger cousins/relatives, is sort of the de facto leader on play dates

Get all the Gamgees, Brandybucks, Tooks, and Bolgers together, and Elanor can be seen holding a stick over her head like a general's baton and leading this veritable army of hobbit children down to the Party Field

Elanor was pretty uninterested in romance when she was young—too busy doing other things to get fussed about boys, and her standards were too high for most of them anyway—until one day she met Fastred and she came home and said, "Ma, I've found him", and whaddya know she had

(Still undecided whether they met because Elanor was in Greenholm for some reason or Fastred came to Hobbiton on business with his father, but either way Elanor and Fastred didn't meet until towards the end of their tweens)

When Sam tells stories he adjusts them for the ears of kids

Merry does not

Not even a little bit

(Unless Estella is nearby in which case he's gonna get an earful)

"Hey, kids, wanna hear about the time I killed a demon??"

Estella from the other room: "MERRY NO"

He's a bad judge of what's too scary for kids

He tells the story of their adventure with no filter at all

Sam tries to teach the kids lessons through the stories and that love conquers all

Pippin adds his own little bits and pieces every time he tells it until his version and the OG are nothing alike

At one point Legolas had wings (when Gandalf asked him to bring down the sun on Caradhras) and Gimli ate rocks

Gimli has actually eaten rocks

It was on a dare and he doesn't want anyone to know

Pippin had no idea; it was just a lucky guess

One time the kids asked Gimli if he actually ate rocks and he's just nervously sweating and wondering how the heck they know that

Pippin is shocked to find out he was actually right about this when he was just talking out his butt

(Legolas has also eaten rocks on a dare but we all knew that already)

The oldest kids get together sometimes—Elanor, Frodo, Boromir, and Faramir—to talk about their parents and try to understand what they went through

Faramir Took talks about how sometimes his father refuses that he get near any sort of fire

He'll be playing in his home by firelight while Pippin watches from the doorway, muttering to himself I'd never, I'd never, so fiercely that little Faramir looks up in innocent surprise and asks what he's talking about

And Pippin has to leave the room before he starts to cry

(Deep down, Pippin is sure Denethor loved his son too)

(And the Palantir haunts him to this day)

Boromir Brandybuck confesses that he's heard his dad cry out in his sleep some nights and he's scared to ask his parents about it

Boromir: "My father is a Knight of Rohan and Master of Buckland, a brave Traveller. He's never afraid." Elanor: "...He might be." Boromir: "No."

Merry's laughing in the face of fear mentality has an unintended effect on Boromir in particular. He wants to be his father; he wants to be fearless; Dad makes it look so easy!

Estella overhears once and has to explain the difference between fear and cowardice

The first time young Faramir goes to Gondor with this family, and poor little Goldi doesn't go, Rosie is struck with the sense of waiting her baby must be feeling

"He's my best friend ma" "I know, love" "It's far"

Rosie thinks, well, at least Goldi knows where he's going and when he's coming home again

When Theodoc's AccidentTM happened—the one that broke his feet and crippled him—the doctors were all telling Merry that Theodoc will live. All the pony did when it fell on him was crush his legs.

But Merry thinks they're lying. No, he is SURE that they are lying, because that's just how Theoden died. Crushed beneath his horse. They were both destined to die this way.

He cursed his son the moment he decided to honor the king who was like a father to him.

There he is, having a panic attack right there while the doctor is in with Theo, like "I killed him, I killed him, I killed my son—"

(And Pippin is the one who comforts him; Pippin, the one who has nightmares sometimes about burning with his Faramir)

The Travellers all talk about Gandalf differently

Sam waxes eloquent about his fireworks

That's all he talks about

Pippin laughingly and affectionately exaggerates how cranky Gandalf always was

"Once I rode on a horse with him" "Ooooooo"

"Didn't he call you a fool of a Took?" "NO that is what he called Merry but he is always caught up in his wizardry that he sometimes forgets that Merry unfortunately isn't a Took"

(Cue the distant, insulted Brandybuck noises)

Merry is the only reliable source of information, but only if you catch him in the right mood; otherwise he'll only mention the smoke rings Gandalf would blow

Merry has a killer Gandalf impression. Chomping on the pipe and everything

Bby Bilbo gets all his Gandalf info from Merry and Sam is Very Offended

(However, Sam owns Bilbo Sr.'s book, so that earns Bilbo Jr.'s trust back)

Frodo has had it up to HERE with fireworks, so he flees with his little brother to listen to Uncle Merry

They ask about Gandalf, and Uncle Merry goes "ah yes, brilliant fellow, a real grump. gorgeous fireworks—" and Frodo about tears his own hair out

(Merry is doing this on purpose. He knows how Sam gets about the darn fireworks.)

Frodo: "We have one last option. We have to go to Uncle Pippin."

Bilbo: "Do you trust everything he says? He once said that Mr. Legolas had wings."

Bilbo: "Mr. Legolas doesn't have wings."

Frodo: "How do you know that?"

Bilbo: "I don't want to talk about it"

(Legolas loves being called Mr. Legolas, but only by little hobbits)

And then there's the one about the lullaby Sam uses for his kids, but I'm saving that for a future fanfic ;-)

CURRENT ROLL CALL

Brandybuck Kids: Theodoc (Theo/Trotter), Periadoc (Perry), Eomer (Merry?), Juniper, Madoc, Boromir (Rory), Eowyn (Wyn)

Took Kids: Faramir (Ferry), Simbelmyne (Minnie), Beregond (Berry), Sable

Bolger Kids: Athelas (Addie), Azalea (Azzie), Heather

General credits to @invisiblewashboard, @writingvalkyrie, @grondds-and-roses, and the illustrious Meg, you absolute madlasses X'-D

[l-lend]

a/n: I told you guys if you kept asking about Wrecker and Rina I'd saddle them with a mortgage and kids. Enjoy some nice domestic fluff. Thank you to @fakegingerrights for giving feedback on this. Blue divider is by @saradika

Warning(s): blink and you miss it talk of kids hearing things they shouldn't, fluff, mom!Rina, dad!Wrecker, blink and you miss it talk of family planning

Exuberant shrieks echoed down the hall as a trio of children attempted to evade their captor. The youngest of the trio lagging behind with his fits of giggles slowing him down. As soon as his target was close, their pursuer closed the distance.

“Gotcha!” He roared triumphantly, hoisting the squirming child in the air.

With one already captured, the girls clambered towards the kitchen to find sanctuary, hoping to lose their pursuer under the table and chairs. Both children slid under the dining table and shared a grin. Heavy footfalls drew closer to their hiding place.

They were stock still with baited breath until the groan of wood sounded while the underside of the table rose higher. The girls squealed upon seeing their captor's grin. The sound of a throat clearing brought four sets of eyes to regard their spectator.

“Bed time, smols.”

A chorus of groans answered her.

“Mooomm,” Whined the oldest of the trio, “we aren't tired yet.”

“None of that, Lana. We already did ten more minutes.”

The trio looked to their pursuer in their game. The table still held aloft with one hand. He shook his head as the children attempted a coordinated offensive.

“Oh no, you aren't givin' me tooka eyes.”

With their plan a failure, the little ones huddled by their mother. The table was set down as if it were a paper weight. He soon joined them, noticing her lingering gaze. Her smile grew as his shoulders gained more of a swagger with each step. The oldest girl pursed her lips at her mother's rebuttal. The woman arched her brow at her daughter, a challenge for tempting the boundary.

“You could stay up, but I know Uncle Hunter and Aunt Kimber aren't going to take tired little ones with them to the festival.”

The murmurs of excitement from the group of children was enough to let her know that she had won.

“So, jammies and bedtime. Even your dad and I are turning in early.”

The large clone remained quiet, mostly due to his inability to lie. Thankfully Rina had him covered with this weakness. Their three little ones planted themselves in front of him. The youngest immediately reached up and made grabby hands. His facade cracked and they knew it.

“Alright, com'ere you.” He chuckled, scooping each one up in turn.

Lana scrambled to take her place on his shoulder while he held the younger two in each arm. Happily accepting their transport to a shared bedroom, their laughter still heard from the kitchen.

Rina sighed softly, shaking her head before joining them, pausing to pluck up toys that had been scattered along the living room from their three child strong tornado. They were definitely his children.

Upon reaching the doorway, she paused to watch. Their girls had already changed into pastel nightgowns already crawling into their beds as the hulking form of their father fussed with dressing their smaller son for bed. Despite his larger stature, Wrecker was quite deft when he wanted to be. If he knew back during the war he'd be happily married with little ones in tow afterwards, he'd call you crazy. Yet here he was. Three little ones all smiles and laughs. He would do anything for them.

After finishing, he picked up his son. His smile growing when he felt a hand rest on his arm.

“All good?” Rina asked.

He nodded, “Yeah, no problems at all.”

The large clone crossed the room in a few strides, soon setting the toddler in his own bed. A protective gate to keep the little one from rolling out in the middle of the night clicked into place with a gentle tug from the clone.

Rina started at the other end of the room. Same routine just like every night

since they welcome their children into the world. Lana was the first with a hug, a bid to sleep well, and once a doll was presented before the woman, Rina placed a kiss on the tooka doll followed by a forehead kiss. Their middle child, Mira, patiently waited under her covers for her turn. Another forehead kiss, a kiss to her own tooka doll, and a soft good night. It was when Rina circled the room to their son that Wrecker crossed the room to offer his own good nights to his girls.

Soon everyone was seen to, and with the light snuffed out the parents departed leaving the door cracked, as agreed. The adults shared a glance. Their hands sought each other out. Fingers entwining as they walked to their own room.

“We didn't do too bad did we.” He stated, once they were out of earshot and in the privacy of their bedroom.

Rina smiled, “Not too bad at all. You've even stopped treating Gunner like he's primed.”

His chuckle rumbled in his chest as they changed clothes, “He's not as little as he used to be.”

Rina hummed, sliding under their sheets with the mattress dipping when he joined her.

“Pretty soon, we won't have any babies in the house anymore.”

His arm coiled around behind her back bringing her against his chest.

“Could always have more.”

Rina laughed, pressing a kiss to his cheek, “Maybe....but let's at least wait until Gunner's three.”

He frowned as if he were mulling it over, “Okay.”

She shook her head, “If it happens, it happens. Let's at least get through tomorrow. We'll have a bit of time to ourselves.”

He hummed, keeping his lover close leaning down to press a kiss to her lips. She returned his kiss before the pair settled in to surrender to sleep.

Lana bolted awake as thunder clapped outside the window. She rubbed her eyes to shake off the sleep as she looked around. Mira was awake as well gripping her own tooka doll, casting a nervous gaze to her sister. Gunner whimpered with another thunderclap booming outside.

The eldest regarded her two siblings, “You okay?”

Mira nodded, “u-uh huh,”

“Scary.” Gunner whined.

Lana bit her lower lip. The room only had a sliver of light from the hall, and thankfully that was enough to keep out monsters according to their mother. They should be able to regroup somewhere safer.

“Mira.”

“Yeah?”

“You wanna sleep with mom and dad?”

The middle child nodded, closing her eyes for a moment, “I don't think they're wrestling tonight.”

“Wrestling?” Gunner asked.

“Yeah, they play their wrestling game after we go to bed. Mom's really good at it.”

“Either that or Dad lets her win.” Lana cut in.

Mira shrugged, “Maybe they take turns?”

Lana threw back the sheets and crawled out of bed. She dropped her tooka doll in front of Mira, “Carry mine? I'll bust out Gunner.”

Mira nodded watching her older sister approach her brother's bed bars. Lana cracked her knuckles and exhaled a breath before grasping the bars with both hands. She yanked on the bars with a grunt before trying again. The bars remaining in place despite the little girl pulling like her life depended on it.

“Come. On. You. Stupid. Thing.” Lana gritted out in between tugs.

A tiny hand reached out from between the bars curling around her own.

Lana huffed halting her attempts, her gaze snapping to her baby brother, “What?”

He pointed a chubby finger towards the far side of the bars. A latch clearly visible with another latch on the opposite end. Lana frowned, planting one hand under the top of the bars to keep it from snapping down on fingers while she quickly opened the latches. The bars lowering as she set it down. The youngest all but jumped into his sister's arms. One hand holding a death grip on a tooka doll of his own. Lana began rubbing his back in circles just as she had seen her mother do so many times before.

Mira crawled out of bed joining the other two at the door way. A tooka doll in each arm. With a glance to each other, Lana took a breath swinging the door open and taking the first step into the hall. The eldest child's stomach fluttering with nerves. What was it Uncle Hunter said? You can be brave, but that doesn't mean you aren't scared.

The trek down the hall seemed to stretch on for the trio before they ended at the door to their sanctuary. Lana caught the attention of her siblings, putting a finger to her lips. They nodded in return and Lana pushed the door open. The sound in the room could easily belong to a snarling monster, but thankfully this noise was a welcome noise. Another reason why their parents' room was monster free and the safest place in the house.

“Do you think dad snores loud on purpose?” Mira whispered.

“Think so. Monsters don't come if they know he's here.”

The trio crept further into the room heading closer to the source of the snoring. Three pairs of eyes trained on the king sized bed as they scope out their approach. The two oldest children exchanged glances before Mira jostled one of the sleeping forms. the stream of snoring halting with a harsh inhale.

“Dad, it's really scary outside. Can we sleep with you and Mom?”

The large clone grunted, his lips smacking.

“Yeah, sweetheart.” He grumbled, his grogginess adding more gravel to his voice.

With approval granted, Mira was the first to climb into bed. Tooka dolls set aside in favor of helping their smaller sibling up. The two crawled into the open space between both adults while Lana hefted herself onto the duvet with no issue. After a few instances of swapping places, all three settled in to sleep. The safest place in the galaxy for these little ones to rest easy.

@locitapurplepink, @rain-on-kamino, @writing-positivelyexisting, @burningfieldof-clover, @padawancat97, @ahsokastechie

[electronictimetravelmoose]

Ginny Weasley Twin HCs

Warnings: mentions of death

Word Count: ~2,4k

Request: Okay can I get some Headcanons about the reader being Ginny's twin sister and while (at least book) Ginny is brave and courageous and really badass, she's just really shy and small and silent and loves flowers and all that and (just because the gist of it) she's still in Gryffindor (she is extremely Loyal (which is kinda more hufflepuff), but because she'd immediately jump in to save everyone she's in the house. And long story short how the fam and the trio (who all see her as a smol sister) 'deal' with her and maybe what would happen if she'd fall in love with someone you choose (idk, malfoy, neville, Luna, you decide)

Requested by my sweetheart honeybee queen

A/N: I got tired towards the end but here you guys go

------------------------------------------------------------

Before Hogwarts:

when Arthur and Molly got you two they were over the moon

they told each other they would stop getting children when they had a daughter and now they got two beautiful baby girls at once

but also they lowkey hope you don’t turn out like your rambunctious older twin brothers

So first of all you two get absolutely adored by your older brothers, especially Bill and Charlie

those two will carry you around the whole day long and talk to you and play with you, adorable

when Percy starts learning how to read he will read to you two every evening and he won’t take a no from his parents

getting older Fred and George saw new victims for their pranks and Ron being the closest to your age got annoyed by always having to play girl stuff with you two

from a young age on you were quieter than your siblings and often shied away from the activities they did, you wouldn’t even interact with other children that lived close by

Molly and Arthur were concerned about this but let you be, they thought that you would eventually get around to it and boy were they wrong

you were always more interested in nature, the flowers and plants and what different traits and effects they had

besides that you also started learning how to read fairly early on thanks to our favourite family nerd Percy and stuffed your nose in every book that your tiny hands could grab

cooking and baking with your mother was also high on the list of things you enjoyed

honestly your more laid back and quieter demeanor was a blessing for Arthur and Molly

but whatever you did you could never run away from your sister

Ginny was still able to drag you into her stuff

stealing your brothers brooms and going for a ride, putting spiders in Ron’s bed, making tea out of plants that give weird side effects… you did it all and never got blamed for it. i mean, Fred and George usually did those things after all

Hogwarts 1st + 2nd year:

when Ginny and you went to Hogwarts it was quite a surprise for you and your family that you were sorted into Gryffindor

okay hear me out for a second, everyone in your family got sorted there so why would it be a surprise? well you were always far more loyal and hardworking than brave or courageous and your family knew that. besides that the sorting hat took literally five minutes to sort you in because he was in a Hufflepuff/Gryffindor dilemma but non the less here you were standing as a Gryffindor

your first year was far too eventful for your liking and it all started with Ron and Harry driving your fathers car to school on the first damn day, then there was the whole heir of Slytherin thing, students being paralyzed, Ginny being dragged into the chamber of secrets and almost dying, and Harry and your older brother Ron getting down there to save her

what kind of shitshow was this?

after everything that happened in this school year and your siblings getting in danger you promised yourself you would become strong enough to protect them and with that in mind you went into your second year

second year went… better than the first

i mean if you ignored the fact that a mass murderer broke out of Azkaban and the school being guarded by dementors

but at least you now had a competent Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, I see this as a win

you spend most of your time learning and hanging out with your sister and friends you made, one of them being Neville Longbottom, a gryffindor boy one year above you

you two became quick friends during your first year at Hogwarts over your shared love for herbology and you bonded over being shyer individuals

with him you had the most fun and talked was by far the easiest no matter the subject

another friend of you made was Luna Lovegood, a ravenclaw girl in your year which was a more weirder individual but still a lot of fun to be around

and because of Ron your circle of friends expanded to Harry and Hermine

Harry thought you were a really nice contrast to your siblings and Hermine immediately adopted you as her little sister, no questions asked

shortly said, they loved you as well

the year went by mostly uneventful which was nice, then the third year came

Hogwarts 3rd and 4th year:

it started absolutely fantastic even before the school year started because your father and siblings went to the Quidditch World Cup which got run over by Death Eaters at the end of the day while you were at home with your mother

that already warned you about the year to come

at Hogwarts Dumbledore announced the Triwizard Tournament which your school would host that year, which also brought students of two different schools with it, great

also, hahaha, your new DADA teacher was absolutely terrifying in your eyes, good luck

but thankfully stuff went as normal as it can be

then… “Come on Y/N why don’t you help as for once!” “Yeah nobody will know anyways!”

“I am not going to brew you two a bloody aging potion so you can put your names in the goblet of fire and enter that stupid tournament! People have died in it! Besides that if you don’t stop pestering me I will tell this professor McGonagall.”

“You would rat your own brothers out?” “Nobody likes someone like that,”

you blankly stared at them for 20 seconds before they got scared by your expressionless face and left

they left you alone after that, idiots

two months later, the champions got announced, the first task was over, which made you able to see your brother Charlie for a few days, and then the yule ball got announced which meant you got dancing lessons by non other than your head of house professor McGonagall

after the lessons you and Neville would go hang out in one of the green houses and take care of some of the plants, just like now

“It’s so unfair, you are allowed to go to the yule ball but I don’t and I still have to take the dancing lessons.”

“But what if a fourth year asks you to go with him?”

“Oh please Neville nobody would want to go with me!” 

“I would like to go with you.”

cue silence and intense blushing

well if he says it like that…

the evening of the yule ball became yours and Neville's first date and many came after that and so also the start of your relationship

your dates mostly consisted of trips to Hogsmead, picnics and walks along the Hogwarts grounds and study dates

it was amazing

and your first kiss happened in March during one of your many walks

none of you knew how exactly it happened and who made the first step but it was very sweet and innocent

also cuddling while the two of you are on your own is a must, nobody can stop it

you and Neville decided to keep your relationship a secret for the time being and it worked, nobody knew, not even Ginny

then the school year ended and you had to say goodbye for two long months

it was also the time when the order of the phoenix came back and your parents and two oldest brothers became a part of it

you moved into the headquarters at Grimmauld Place and everything got turned upside down

you weren’t supposed to tell anyone about this, which you didn’t, but you couldn’t resist writing letters to Neville

and then someone found out, a little shit by the name of Sirius Black

i mean sooner or later it would have happened but it was a surprise that it was nobody from your family

did he tease you? yes, but he promised not to tell anyone and gave you really good advice on relationships and how to handle problems and fears you might have

Sirius quickly became someone you could confide into about almost anything you could talk about with your family and for you he became part of the family

you even called him ‘uncle Sirius’ the day you left for Hogwarts again and boy was this man in tears

with that one of the worst years in your life started and all thanks to one person

Dolores Jane Umbridge, not one word was bad enough to describe her because the word was still better than her

if someone was the bane of your existence it was her

you finally wanted to stand up for yourself and you did but then detention came and threw you back down

your siblings, Neville, Harry and Hermine quickly noticed the shift in your demeanor and how you became closed off which you never were before

shy and held back but not closed off

they soon found out what happened and “The Y/N Protection Squad” was founded, be ready to get bothered by them at all times, you never going to be alone

then the DA came around and you of course joined alongside your siblings, friends and boyfriend Neville

it was one of the best things that happened to you in months

finally you could show what you got in you

you and Ginny became a power duo, your brothers were shocked to say the least

and you and Neville finally decide to make your relationship official 

your siblings, shocked that their pure innocent sister has had a boyfriend for over a year, but not surprised it’s Neville

protective annoying older sibling squad activated

but you nor Neville cared, you were happy and as long as you two stayed that way everything would be okay

then you went to the Ministry of Magic with Harry, Ron, Hermine, Ginny, Neville and Luna

everything turned upside down when you got attacked by the death eaters and when they got a hold of you all

you were afraid, but you were more afraid of your siblings and friends than yourself

especially when you saw that Bellatrix LeStrange had her grip on Neville

he told you about his parents and he even wanted you to meet them but now you were afraid that it might never come to it

insert Sirius and the rest of the order of the phoenix, they saved you but a price was paid in the form of him dying

it changed you in so many ways that you had to question yourself and the things you knew

Hogwarts 5th and 6th year + Battle of Hogwarts:

your fifth year went pretty much as normal as your third for most of the time

school was finally quieting down and you had more time to process what happened at the ministry and all the years before

you concentrated more on school and your still building relationship with Neville, being able to walk through Hogwarts while holding hands and hugging and kissing him whenever you wanted

it was nice, you also found more time you could spend with Ginny and Luna which was much needed

but all good things had to end

the death eaters made their way into the castle and wreaked havoc

they destroyed everything they saw, they made Hagrid's hut go up in flames, they killed Dumbledore and after that put the dark mark up in the sky

changes happened quickly after that

thankfully the summer break came and with that the wedding of Bill and Fleur

even after everything that happened towards the end of the school year and when the order brought Harry to the burrow it was relieving to have something as exciting and somewhat normal as a wedding in these dark times

you helped where you could and you were allowed to invite Neville

it went amazing for most of the day but bad things just seem to come your way

Harry, Ron and Hermine left to find the horcruxes Voldemort made and you had to get back to school

it was different than before, everything was and you should have been used to it but you weren’t

this was the most tiring school year of all and it took a toll on every single student

then the day came and the moment you saw your brother and friends again you knew you would be doomed but it didn’t hinder you to sprint towards them and give them the longest and strongest hugs you could muster up

the battle started only a while after that and you gave all that you got to fight them off with the others

it was long and tiring but in the end the dark lord got defeated once and for all but there was nothing to celebrate

many people died and under them your brother Fred, you broke after that

Neville held you in his arms the whole time until you fell asleep

After Hogwarts:

you continued and finished school with good grades and started training to become a potions master

it just fitted with your love for herbology and your interested in the different effects they could have when put together and made into something entirely else

Neville upgraded from boyfriend to husband only a few months after you graduated

you two knew the other was the one for you and nothing would change that so why don’t put a label on it to say that one is mine for forever

Neville became the new herbology teacher after professor Sprout and you became new potions teacher after professor Slughorn

you just couldn’t be separated from each other

the future brought also two beautiful twin boys your way and a lot of chaos but with the family you already had you were used to it

Neville was not

you still manage it just as you do with everything

and with your other siblings getting kids as well family meetings were getting much more crowded to say the least

you stared at your nieces, nephews and sons while they were running around playing games and screaming at each other

“honestly love, I am regretting being pregnant again.”

“you aRE WHAT?!”

oh what a sweet life

Taglist: @satans-bae-and-queen

[sdvvillagers]

Can I get please get some of that good Pierre reacting to his sweet daughter hanging out in her room playing video games and having fun with the kind, smol, and gentle farmer? Thank you 💕

Okay, so this ask has been in my inbox for an EMBARRASSINGLY long amount of time.  I’m talking months.  To the original asker, if you’re still even here, I’m really sorry for how long this one took.  I experienced a heck of a motivation loss when it comes to writing and I’m only barely starting to get over it.  Thank you for your patience.  Enjoy!

The arrival of the farmer had breathed new life into the otherwise stagnant day to day life in Pelican Town. The old farm that had been abandoned for Yoba knows how long was finally up and running again and everyone in town seemed to benefit from the town’s newest resident.  The business owners in town were all pleasantly surprised to see a noticeable increase in profit as the farm expanded and even Pierre couldn’t deny that his sales had never been better.  His working relationship with the new farmer was advantageous, however outside of their business together, Pierre was a bit uneasy.  Everyone in town loved the new farmer, and why wouldn’t they.  The new farmer was kind, thoughtful, compassionate… they seemed to make friends with anyone they met.

The issue, however, was the friendship that the farmer had with his daughter Abigail.  Of course the farmer was well-liked around Pelican Town, but they seemed especially well-liked by Abigail who was spending far more time in the shop these days than normal.  Ordinarily this wouldn’t be reason to complain, Pierre was thrilled to see Abigail taking an interest in his business, but in his gut Pierre suspected that her sudden interest had nothing to do with running the shop and everything to do with how often the farmer arrived to purchase new seeds to plant.  In the beginning, Pierre shrugged it off as a fascination with meeting someone new.  In a place like Pelican Town, something like this scarcely occurred and Abigail was no doubt excited and curious about a new face in town.  After almost two seasons of this, however, Pierre knew that there was something else going on.

What had once been occasional trips by the farmer into the store for necessities had become almost daily visits.  Pierre was shocked one afternoon when the farmer arrived, not to make a purchase, but to spend time with Abigail.  Abigail had just received a new video game and had apparently invited the farmer over to play.  Of course his daughter was a grown woman and could certainly make her own choices, but Pierre couldn’t deny the feeling of unease he felt as he watched the farmer disappear into the back door of the shop toward Abigail’s room.

Seconds passed… minutes passed… hours passed.  Pierre was leaning against the counter, rooted to the spot as his fingers nervously drummed against the side of the cash register.  It seemed ridiculous that he was so nervous and paranoid about Abigail inviting a friend over, with how many times Sebastian and Sam were over for video games it was unbelievable to Pierre that he was this nervous.  And yet with the farmer, it was different.  Abigail didn’t look at Sebastian and Sam the way she looked at the farmer.  There was interest in her eyes.  There was intrigue in her expression.

By the time the shop had closed for the afternoon, Pierre couldn’t take it any longer.  He flipped the sign in the window from ‘Open’ to ‘Closed’ and paced the room for a moment in an attempt to burn off nervous energy.  It wasn’t working.  His eyes kept darting to the back door of the shop that led to his family’s living area, unable to stop wondering what Abigail and the farmer were up to.  After this amount of time, Pierre couldn’t believe any longer that video games were involved.  With a long, shaky sigh, Pierre crossed the shop floor and exited the back room into the hallway.  His gut twisted suddenly at the sight of Abigail’s bedroom door closed.  Pierre wasn’t entirely sure what he had expected, surely Abigail wouldn’t leave her door propped open, but it was still a jarring sight for Pierre and practically confirmed his suspicions.

At this point, Pierre had a choice to make.  On the one hand, his daughter was a grown adult and fully capable of making her own choices.  On the other, she was still living under his roof and was expected to adhere to certain boundaries.  One such boundary that was made clear to her by Pierre and Caroline was, put delicately, no romantic encounters under their roof.  Pierre knew in the deepest recesses of his mind that what he was considering was an incredible breach of privacy for Abigail, but he kept trying to convince himself that he was just checking in on them.  After all, it wasn’t unreasonable to assume that after many hours in Abigail’s room, he might want to make sure they’re okay.  That was all, this would be nothing more than paternal concern.  Pierre placed his hand upon the doorknob to Abigail’s room and hesitated.  The bad feeling in the pit of his stomach became worse when he heard Abigail giggle on the other side of the door.  Without dwelling on it any further, Pierre threw open the door, hoping that he wasn’t going to find exactly what he was dreading.

Pierre’s jaw dropped slightly at the sight before him.  Abigail was lying atop her bed on her stomach, nearly leaning over the foot of the bed as she held a video game controller in her hands while she stared intently at the television screen.  Sitting on the floor on a pillow, also holding a controller while looking incredibly focused, was the farmer.  They were both so focused, in fact, that neither of them had heard Abigail’s door open at all or even noticed Pierre standing in the doorway.

“On your left, on your left!” Abigail shrieked, sounding almost panicked.

“Got it!” the farmer replied victoriously.

“Thanks,” Abigail sighed, though she never once lost her focus on the screen.

“I don’t think I can make it to that power-up in time, you can have it,” the farmer remarked.

“Awesome, I’ve got a hoard headed my way, just watch me work some magic here,” Abigail said smugly.

A moment of silence passed and all that could be heard was furious clicking of the buttons on the controllers and all Pierre could see on the screen was a flurry of activity.  He wasn’t entirely sure if they were winning or not until Abigail threw her controller onto her bed and cheered loudly in celebration.

“YES!  We finally beat it!” Abigail cheered.  She looked ecstatic.

“That was awesome, you rocked it with that last power-up!” the farmer replied excitedly.

The farmer raised a hand in the air for a high five and Abigail turned and smacked the farmer’s hand as hard as she could, making them wince in response.  It was only now, as Abigail had turned to face the farmer that she finally spotted Pierre in the doorway.

“Dad!” Abigail called out in surprise.  “What are you doing in my room?!”

“Sorry, just wanted to check in on you two and make sure you’re alright since you’ve been in here for awhile,” Pierre replied as casually as he could.

“Yeah right, more like you wanted to spy on us,” Abigail replied, folding her arms as she raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“N-no, no, that’s not at all… I mean,” Pierre stammered, though he knew that she saw right through him.

“It’s alright, we have been in here for quite awhile,” the farmer reasoned.  “We just got so wrapped up in the game, I think we lost track of time.  I’m sorry, Pierre, next time we’ll be more mindful of the time.”

“Oh, it’s… it’s not that,” Pierre said kindly.  “I don’t mind how long you stay over, it looks like you two had a lot of fun together.”

Abigail rolled her eyes, knowing full well that Pierre was more relieved than anything else to find them actually playing video games.  The farmer, it seemed, was just happy to be here and seemed oblivious to Pierre’s suspicion.  And yet that suspicion melted away instantly when Pierre saw the look that the two of them exchanged.  Abigail smiled; a giddy, delighted smile that he hadn’t seen from her in quite some time.  Even the farmer, who was generally cheerful anyway, looked far more content than Pierre had ever seen them.  His gut twisted with guilt as he thought about how little he trusted his daughter or respected her privacy, fueled only by unfounded concern and a bit of parental authority.  Now, seeing how happy these two were just to be playing a game together, Pierre felt nothing but relief.

“I should probably get going,” the farmer said, setting the controller down on the floor.

“You don’t have to,” Pierre answered immediately.  Abigail whipped her head toward Pierre in disbelief.

“Dad, are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Abigail asked uncertainly.

“You’re welcome to stay for dinner,” Pierre clarified.

“That would be wonderful, thanks!” the farmer replied happily.

Abigail exchanged another look with the farmer just as Pierre turned his back to leave and he knew that they were both experiencing a mixture of excitement and disbelief.  As Pierre continued down the hall toward the kitchen to help Caroline start dinner, he couldn’t help smiling to himself.  It suddenly seemed so ridiculous to believe, even for a moment, that the sweet, kind farmer whom everyone in town loved would be anything less than perfect company for his little girl.

[illogicallyinclined]

Can you touch on remile for the hockey au

Honestly, Goals

so remy and emile are fantastic, because they are the Ultimate Power Couple(?), but at the same time, they are composed individually of One (1) Chaotic Mess-Presenting Adult and One (1) Adult-Presenting Chaotic Mess

Remy: *drinks eight cups of coffee each day and wears sunglasses indoors, but also has a solid sleep schedule and routinely eats breakfast*

Emile: *is literally the dad-friend of the team’s dreams and is always dressed like a professional therapist, but also stayed up until 4 AM last night writing a chem lab report and internally screaming*

no one on the team actually knows if Remy and Emile are dating or not, which is fair, because Remy and Emile never actually officially asked each other out. they were just childhood friends who kissed each other. and then went to prom together. and then shared a bed in college as they planned out their shared future. #JustRemileThings

(emile doesn’t even realize that he forgot to ask remy to be his boyfriend until he proposes like four years down the line)

everyone assumes that the little succulents all over emile and remy’s shared apartment are emiles, but they’re actually remy’s. emile sometimes watches remy go around pruning and praising his plants in the morning, and Every Single Time, he is struck with The Sappiest of emotions

when emile starts to burn out from overworking his pre-med ass, remy is inevitably the one to step in and convince emile to curl up on the couch with him to help him rewatch through ATLA

taglist: @ephemeral-afterlight @scared-ghosthunter @approximately12lbs-of-ducks @harrypotternerdprincess @ginnyfox617 @hickory-dickory-doc-k @thatonenerdphotographer @thebirdsofgay @last-holistic-renegade @hela-daughter-of-loki @logansanderslove @sotakeabitofcalpol @goldteethandacurseforthistown @theitalianscribe @ashensanity @in-a-nook-with-a-book @faycanyons @sapphire-knight @airiervessel @invalid-author @littlestliu @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @demidork84 @pessimisticvirtuoso @theradicalrainbow @fabfan00 @amayaisokay @foxtrot-system @remussvscohangout @syllabyllsakuma @ohthatsworm @cypress-sleeping @quietwords-loudthoughts @partypoison1923 @vara-albion @andreaissy @abi-beehive @awkwardandanxiousfander @meglooy @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors @mariita-2006 @amber474542 @quietpaperplanes @hayden-going-insane @blue-dress-and-ready-to-impress @sanderssides-chaos @call-me-paxton @kimolothecatt @n4o5r7a9 @nerdyleafeon @mariniacipher @lordofkaos @mixedfandommess @cateye-glasses  @peachplumfight @discount-milo-thatch @theresneverenoughfandoms @multifandomnightmare @lana–22  @the-smol-est @e-thot-socks

[som3thingcr3ative]

And I am Wanting

So, here it is...a slow burn, angsty, poly-amorous Geraskier fic. This beast is gonna be multiple parts, feature our boys Geralt the sass master and Jaskier the smol bean as well as an OC. 

It’s got canon-typical violence, respect women juice (tm) and everything else that goes with the beauty of the Witcher. 

Our story begins two months before Geralt meets Yennefer in a small town south of Rinde.

part one part two part three part four

Summary: Geralt seeks a bounty and finds something unusual waiting for him in the monster’s lair: Jaskier composes a song in honor of an unsung hero. 

Warnings: If you’ve watched the Witcher, you’re prepared. This gets a little more into Geralt’s feelings, but that’s about it. 

pairings: so far, mild Jaskier x OC, eventual Geraskier x OC. 

also, this is loooong. You’ve been warned. 

Word of a beast with a price on its head had come from a local town: the Lord of the town promised a room for any who dared attempt to slay the beast, food for three nights and a great ransom upon return of the creature’s severed head. Geralt was intrigued. The disgruntled highwayman who’d told him spoke also of the town’s vigilante, a man who ‘cleaned up the streets’. It’s a town without rapists or child-molesters, the man had said. The only murderer is the vigilante, and people are calling his work just. They honor him. Whores have professed their undying gratitude.

Geralt sips his ale and wonders what the vigilante would think of him. Across the tavern, Jaskier has started his third run-through of ‘fishmonger’s daughter’. The Witcher feels his eyes twitch. He downs the ale and motions for another from the hesitant bartender; it’s his sixth- or so, he’s not really counting. When the barkeep fills his mug once more, he slams it back and lets his stools’ legs scrape loudly against the slatted floor as he stands, making his exit. He spares only the briefest glances for Jaskier, who is surrounded by drunkards singing along with him. The bard’s cheeks are rosy from drink, his eyes sparkling in the low light with the attention of so many on him.

The Witcher waits outside the tavern, leaning against the hitching post Roach is tied to. He strokes a hand over her ear and murmurs lowly to her as he looks around; the town is quite large by rural standards, boasting three taverns and two brothels, a church with a monopoly on the religious sheep of the place, and a rather palatial estate overlooking the main street. This estate is where he needs to go- he takes the whole thing in, from the neatly trimmed rose bushes out front to the large barn to its left. There is a circular cobblestone path for horses and coaches, tall columns guarding the entrance.

Jaskier stumbles out of the tavern, a little tipsy and with a wide grin on his face. Geralt grunts, sending the bard a short glare before he turns his back, throwing the reins over Roach’s head and mounting up. Together, Jaskier telling Geralt in great detail how amazing having everyone singing his songs was, they make a steady pace for the estate.

~ 

The first thing Geralt notices as a servant leads him into the dining room is the beautiful woman sitting to the right of who he assumes is the Lord of the town. She’s stunning, her features refined as he’d come to expect of nobility, her long hair let loose in ringlets that spill over her shoulders in waves of auburn. Her posture is perfect, hands clasped in her lap over a flowing dress. Every inch of her screams wealth.

Geralt doesn’t have to force himself to look away. While she looks like she can afford the price on the beasts’ head, she doesn’t look like the type to get her hands dirty- in fact, even at dinner her hands and forearms are covered by black silk gloves. She’s far too prissy for his taste.

“Geralt of Rivia!” The Lord of the town booms, dabbing at his mouth with a napkin as he stands up. He spreads his long arms wide. “I’d heard you were in town. Have you come for the monster? Who am I kidding, of course you have! Welcome, welcome!”

The Witcher steps into the dining room, Jaskier just behind and to his left. He knows he’s out of place with his dual swords, his black leather armor, but he couldn’t give less of a damn. Money is money, and this man has plenty.

“Please, sit!” The Lord continues. “I’d like you to meet my daughter, Lani.” He motions to the auburn-haired woman beside him. She inclines her head with a small smile, properly polite. Geralt nearly scoffs. Instead, he takes a seat at the foot of the table, Jaskier placing himself beside the woman. He kisses the back of her hand, turning on the charm. Geralt watches them for a second, seeing her polite dismissal of the bard. Jaskier doesn’t seem deterred- he keeps talking to her despite her lack of interest.

“I head you have a pest.” Geralt says, ignoring the way the woman’s green eyes lock on him.

“Yes, a werewolf. There’s a mage who has gone rogue around here, and the werewolf seems to be her pet. It’s a creature born, if the pattern of attacks mean anything, and it’s killing our businesses. My businesses, really, since everything in this town is mine.” He laughs, self-confident to the point of cockiness. “I’ll pay you handsomely if you slay it.”

“When.” Geralt corrects, but the man doesn’t seem to notice.

“I can’t have it threatening my daughter, you see. No suitor will want her if the land she is to inherit is plagued with a monster.”

The daughter’s eyes narrow, but she quickly composes her face into an emotionless mask. Geralt notices the slip, though. It seems she’s not content to be married off.

“We have rooms prepared for you, Witcher. Your…friend can stay in the adjoining room. Please, help yourself to whatever food and drink you fancy while here. I can’t offer an advance payment, you see, or too many fakes would come through those doors, but I promise payment in full as soon as the task is complete and the wolf’s head- human or otherwise- crosses my threshold. And only the head, mind you.” He clears his throat. “Apologies, Lani sweet, for such coarse language.”

Lani tips her head to him, but her eyes are still focused on Geralt. He shifts an inch, starting to feel uncomfortable. Her stare isn’t obvious, but it is disconcerting, and with her careful mask, he can’t tell what she’s thinking or why she’s staring.

“Where?” Geralt questions.

“It’s sheltered in the mountain just south of here, at the base. There’s a cave system there, it’s hard to miss. Just follow the creek upstream.”

Geralt nods and stands, turning to leave the room without another word.

 ~

“Did you see how beautiful Lani is?” Jaskier babbles as he follows Roach up a sloping hill. “She looks like a princess, or a queen. Oh, I could write a song about her beauty! Should I? Do you think that would woo her to me?”

Geralt huffs, rolling his eyes. Roach is sure-footed on the rocks, but he can hear Jaskier slipping every so often behind him. Nevertheless, the bard keeps up his steady stream of talking. They’re an hour into the woods, following the creek as Lord Corro (He’d gleaned the name from a passing servant in the hall) had said. There are fresh hoofprints in the bits of sandy ground between rocks, and only in one direction. Whoever had gone hadn’t come back.

The Witcher holds up a hand. Jaskier stops with a huff. “Are we there yet?”

Geralt glares at him, but his attention is diverted; just over the crest of the hill he can see the very top of a cave mouth. Inside, echoing just loud enough for his highly tuned senses to pick up is the sound of a fight. He hears a shout, a roar, a scream- and then a thud as something- or someone- is thrown.

He nudges Roach into a canter over the path, finding that the ground levels out and becomes less rocky the closer they get to the cave. Outside the mouth of the cave, a large black horse grazes amongst bones strewn haphazardly on the ground. It lifts its head and whickers, puffing itself up to full height as it watches Roach canter in. Inside, the sounds of the fight have resumed. Geralt catches the scent of blood, of sweat and something else- wood smoke? He turns his mare and jumps off, rushing into the cave.

The inside of the cave is littered with full skeletons, half-eaten corpses and fresh blood. There are several human bodies among the dead, but sheep and goats far out number the people. He even spots a few cows, their skulls resting in odd positions. Closer now, he can hear each grunt the human fighter makes, each glance of their weapon over the werewolf’s hide. The monster screams, then roars. For a second there’s nothing.

Geralt skids to a stop at the entrance to the main lair. The werewolf lays dead, skewered through the neck by a silver-plated sword. Standing over the corpse with a leg over either shoulder is a black-clad figure whose face is obscured by a mask and a hood- but Geralt can see that the blood dripping from their hands to the sword’s hilt isn’t werewolf blood. It’s their own.

The figure collapses, falling just to the side of the werewolf’s massive body, curled in on itself. Is it the vigilante? Geralt thinks, blinking at the well-made sword, the man’s black doublet and thick leather pants. He sure did come prepared.

As he stalks toward the too-brave human, he takes stock of the fight scene. It had been brutal, this much he can tell; there is human blood smeared across the ceiling and directly below, too fresh to belong to anyone other than the vigilante.

“You shouldn’t have taken on a monster by yourself.” Geralt admonishes the panting, nearly-broken figure on the floor. “That’s what I’m here for.”

He doesn’t answer verbally, instead pushing himself up with both hands firmly planted on the ground. As soon as he gets his feet under him, he’s scrambling backwards, away from Geralt.

The Witcher holds his hands up, seeing the vigilante reach for a dagger belted to his waist. “No need.” He says. “I only hunt monsters, not humans.” Still, no response other than ragged breathing. The man presses a hand to his ribs, hunched over. Clearly injured. “You need help.” Geralt comments. “I can help you.”

He’s aware of Jaskier finally catching up; the bard stands in awe of the scene before him, jaw dropped. Then he sees the vigilante, and notices that both of Geralt’s swords are still strapped to his back- though there is a sword stuck in the werewolf.

“Geralt?” Jaskier questions, confused. “Did he kill the monster?”

The vigilante drops like dead weight. Geralt rushes over, taking the dagger from a limp hand. His fingers come away slick with blood. Up close, the man is smaller than most men he’d seen. He pushes back the hood, noting that the man wears a tight black knit cap that lines up perfectly with the mask. Blood seeps from below the mask, so Geralt takes it off carefully.

“Oh.” He murmurs, shocked. The man, the vigilante, slayer of the werewolf, isn’t a man at all.

Lying unconscious on the ground before him, her body battered, is Lani, Lord Corro’s daughter. Blood drips from the corner of her mouth, but her face is unmarred. Up close, Geralt notices a small scar over her right eyebrow, a tiny imperfection on her otherwise unmarked face. She groans, face scrunching, then gags, rolling over to spit up blood. For a second she seems to gather herself, then her eyes land on his.

She reaches up, feeling for the mask, but when her fingers touch only skin her eyes widen. “Don’t tell my father-“ She says, voice hoarse with the blood coating her throat. Geralt pats her back as she falls into a coughing fit, spitting up more blood. When she flops onto her back, she gives him a side-eye. “Don’t tell anyone.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You’re injured.”

Her hand lifts to her ribs and she winces. “I’ll be fine. Just…don’t tell.”

Geralt looks to Jaskier over his shoulder. The bard has a comical look of surprise on his face, so shocked that he can do nothing but blink. Huffing, he nods. “I won’t.” 

Lani closes her eyes, nose scrunching in pain. She pants through bared teeth as she tries to lift herself onto an elbow, but Geralt is quick to push her back down. “Stay.” he says. 

“M’lady?” A girl’s voice calls out from behind them. “Oh! Lani!” Geralt turns to see a woman the same size as Lani rushing towards her. She wears the outfit of a handmaiden in Lord Corro’s house, her mouse-brown hair done up in a braid. Without even bothering to glance at the witcher, she kneels beside Lani and cups her face in one hand. “This is going to leave a mark.” She says. 

“You knew about this?” Jaskier’s incredulous voice questions from just over Geralt’s shoulder. His face is bewildered, and Geralt thinks- not for the first time- that the bard lets too much of what he’s feeling show on his face. “You knew that she’s the vigilante?”

The handmaiden cuts Jaskier a look so cold that Geralt’s eyebrows raise. “Of course I did.” She growls, already feeling down Lani’s side for broken bones. “I knew I couldn’t stop her, so I decided to join her. I’m the only one who knows.”

“Not anymore.” Lani coughs, wiping at her mouth. She glances only briefly to the blood on her hand before she warily eyes Jaskier. “Don’t. Tell.”

“Her father would disown her.” The maid explains. “Some of the men she’s, ehem, stopped are men who work for Lord Corro. He’d kill me if he found out I helped her.” She cuts herself off, looking to Lani. They share a glance that clearly means something to the other. 

“You can say it.” Lani says, gritting her teeth past a fresh wave of pain. 

“Lani’s been playing a long game. Lord Corro is the most corrupt person in town, and she’s been taking out his pawns one by one until she can bring him down, but it’s dangerous. If she were to be found out…”

Geralt’s mind reels. This is not the woman who he’d seen sit so demurely at her father��s side. This woman is cunning. She’s an incredible actress, and far more than he’d given her credit for. “He’s your father.” The Witcher comments. “Not many people would dare take on their own family.”

She bares her teeth, her smile bloodied. “He doesn’t deserve what he has. No one should be that rich while others suffer.”

Behind him, Geralt swears he hears Jaskier whimper. The scent that always clings to the bard intensifies. He looks over his shoulder to find Jaskier making heart-eyes at the woman lying bleeding on the floor, broken but victorious. 

“We have to get you back.” The maid murmurs to Lani. “Can you move?”

“She shouldn’t walk on her own.” Geralt says, wondering at the sudden protective urge he has over the woman. “I’ll carry her.”

Lani scoffs, but he knows her pride won’t get her upright. She sets her jaw, eyeing him distrustfully, but when he only holds out a hand for her she seems to deflate. He waits until she nods before he scoops her up with an arm behind her back and one under her legs. She groans in pain, eyes squeezed shut, body trembling. “You’re not like the others, Witcher.” Lani grudgingly admits from behind clenched teeth. “Most men wouldn’t wait for permission.”

Geralt hums low in his chest, knowing she can hear it. He doesn’t bother to answer as he turns around, noting that Jaskier is still reeling from the surprises of the day. “Are you coming, bard?” He burrs, amused. Jaskier nods, glancing back to see the maid following them.

The Witcher places Lani as gently as he can on the black horses’ back, frowning when she still grimaces in pain despite his best efforts. She’s a tough woman, but those are serious injuries, he thinks to himself. “You take the bounty.” She says to him, not meeting his eyes. “As payment for keeping my secret.”

He nearly shakes his head. She’d almost been killed in the fight, the bounty was hers by rights- but the part of himself that remained from his lessons says that coin is coin, no matter how it is gotten. “You killed it.” He says instead. “It’s your bounty.”

“She won’t take it.” the maid replies when Lani clutches her ribs, her face scrunching up in pain. “She’s stubborn like that. Either you take the money or no one will.”

“He’ll take it.” Jaskier jumps in. “Or I will.” When Geralt gives him a short glare, he shrugs. “Living on the road is expensive. We need to pay for food somehow.” Geralt’s lips twitch in annoyance but he realizes the bard is right. It’s a waste of Lani’s blood if no one takes the bounty. 

“Where will you go?” He asks instead. 

“Home.” Lani breathes, pushing herself upright in the saddle. She takes a few shallow breaths past her bruised ribs. “I’ve gotten good at hiding my injuries.” Geralt sees the sadness in her maid’s expression and knows it’s all too true. “Ready, Loretta?” 

The maid nods, swinging up unassisted into the saddle behind her Lady. Lani turns the horse toward the town, giving Geralt a lingering look. “I’ll see you there, Witcher.” She says, gritting her teeth as she urges the horse into a rolling canter. 

Geralt huffs, muttering a low ‘fuck’ under his breath. He turns toward the cave where the werewolf’s dead body waits. Jaskier, behind him, is staring after the two riders with longing in his eyes. 

“I want to marry that woman.” Jaskier murmurs, his cheeks pink. “She’s so… perfect.”

The Witcher grunts. “She’s her own woman, Jask. Can’t be tied down.” He stomps into the cave, finding the monster exactly the way it had been left. The blood on his leather is Lani’s, but no one in town would know that, so he decides to leave it as a sign of the battle. With a savage yank, he pulls the sword from the werewolf’s spine and uses it to sever the head in two blows. When the head rolls alone on the stone floor of the cave, Geralt takes a closer look at the sword, humming in appreciation of the wonderful craftsmanship. If Lani left it, then she left it for a reason, so he decides to keep it though it is smaller than he likes. 

The sun is nearing its crest when Geralt walks out of the cave with a new sword in one hand and a werewolf’s head in the other. Jaskier waits, already strumming his lute to a new tune; one of the witcher, victorious in battle against yet another monster. 

Lani sits stiff as a board in her seat beside her father. Her ribs throb with every shallow breath, her entire right side is an amalgamation of black and blue bruises, but the sleeves of her dress and her black silk gloves cover everything. Behind her, Loretta frets. She can feel the handmaiden’s eyes boring into the back of her skull, watching and waiting for a sign that she’s had enough. 

She’s about to give up when the double doors to the dining room crash open and in strides Geralt, bloodied and carrying the head of the monster she herself slew. 

A good excuse, she thinks, feeling rather pale. She puts the back of one hand daintily to her forehead, sighing just enough that her father hears. “Oh my,” she murmurs. “Father, I feel quite faint. You must excuse me.”

And with that, she rises on unsteady feet, using the back of the chair as balance to leave. As soon as she’s out of eyesight of anyone, Loretta slips an arm around her waist and takes half of her weight, guiding them both to her room. 

Lani doesn’t see Geralt unceremoniously dump the head to the floor, or her father hand over a large bag of gold coins. She lays in bed, aching all over and so tired as Jaskier serenades the Lord with a song of Geralt’s triumph over the beast. She hears the revel thrown in Geralt’s honor, the revel that goes on for hours until there’s a shallow knock on her door. 

“My Lady Lani?” Jaskier’s voice calls, muffled through the door. 

Lani motions Loretta to open the door, too weak to do much more. Jaskier is quickly by her side, gingerly taking her hand in both of his. “How are you feeling?” The bard asks, and Lani can see genuine worry in his eyes. 

“Everything hurts.” she confesses, in too much pain to put on an act. “Did Geralt collect the bounty?”

“He did. I made a song about his victory over the beast, but I wanted you to hear the real one, the one I’ll only sing to him or you. Would you like that?”

She doesn’t know why there are tears suddenly at the back of her eyes, or why seeing his soft gaze breaks down the walls she’s built for so long. “Loretta,” She calls, and instantly her handmaiden is there, helping her sit up. Jaskier helps too, his hands warm on her shoulder and careful not to hurt her any more than she already is. The bard fluffs her pillows behind her without being asked. “Thank you, Jaskier. I’d love to hear your song.”

And so, with Loretta sitting comfortably on her bed beside her, she watches as Jaskier kneels and swings his lute over his chest, strumming a few careful notes. 

“This tale begins with a proper Lady whose beauty knows no bounds, whose courage is unmatched, whose honor is worth more than gold. 

Defender of her land, protector of her realm, she is unknown to all but one.

She fought minor beasts, men whose deeds made them wicked, defeated their demons and emerged victorious. 

So when true evil came to her land

When a monster stalked her people, 

She did as heroes do and she hunted the creature.

When no man would stand up and fight, when cowardice was proven, she asked no recompense, no quarter, for there could be no mercy either.

When no man would fight, she said ‘I am no man’ and she proved her worth.

She fought the creature with every breath, she slew the beast with the last of her strength

And though battered by the monster, she didn’t cry for help. This valiant, beautiful woman had proven herself worth more than fifty men and yet she asked to remain hidden.

And so it is that no one will know her name, the glory of battle goes to another, the spoils of victory hers to give but not taken. 

But let not her tale end here. 

Let it not end here, but let there be many more victories in her future.’

Loretta is crying when Lani glances over at her. Jaskier’s eyes are soft, but there’s something glimmering in them from his song, and Lani feels the effects of it long after the last note fades away, like some sort of spell. “That was beautiful.” She whispers to the bard. “Thank you.”

Jaskier smiles, a smile that lights up his whole face. Geralt never compliments his singing, and more often than not he’s boo-ed out of taverns. “No, thank you, M’lady. Today you proved that it doesn’t take a Witcher for all monsters. There may be hope for us yet.”

Lani laughs, but it quickly dissolves into a coughing fit. Jaskier is quick to help, rubbing her back soothingly as she coughs. She leans into him for a minute, weakened by the fit, and his heart threatens to burst. He’d always been one to trust too quickly, but even he knew that from the moment he first saw her that she was unlike the others. He sets her back against her pillows gently, pushing a lock of hair out of her face. Her eyes are as green as he remembers them being from first glance, though they are pain-dulled and tired. “Get some rest.” he says, kissing the back of her hand once more. He can feel her callouses from weaponry and realizes why she always wears gloves. “You deserve it.”

“Thank you, Jaskier.” She says as he stands, moving his lute onto his back. “And please tell Geralt thank you too.”

“I will.” He replies. “But you are the one we should both be thanking.”

TAG LIST (OPEN)

[trashbinbackyard]

pre-relationship and general for your new poly guys then and love and domestic life for maz n moran

Ya got it

New trio on the seas

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

Idika beat up few of Felar’s men when they were in port near her hometown and demanded she be made a crewmate with a dagger on his throat, she got the job

Ninlana came into the picture later when she was travelling on merchant ship by her father’s command and Felar’s ship took her captive to maybe get ransom money out of her family

What was their first impression of each other?

Felar was impressed, excited and slightly terrified by Idika, loved her spirit and her determination to get what she wanted, and he had no issue letting her on board as she had already shown she can pull her weight.

Idika wasn’t as impressed with Felar at first, letting her win without a fuss like that, she thought the captain on the Leviathan had more spine. 

Ninlana was obviously terrified being on a ship full of criminals and strange men and only one other woman, though Idika made sure from day one no one will lay a finger on Nin, so she was grateful for her. Idika felt somewhat bad for Nin, and thought she was pretty helpless. Ninlana didn’t even see or meet Felar before the ship ported but she was kinda scared of him, but also curious on who this elusive captain is

Felar didn’t think too much about Ninlana, she was his captive sure but he never locked her up or anyhting, he’s not a monster. And like Idika he made sure none of his men touch a hair on her head

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

Neither Felar or Idika have family to speak of, their friends mostly being the crew of the leviathan, and pretty much everyone on board knew they had some caboodling going on. Ninlana’s rich merchant family was fucking horrified their daughter would abandon her frivilous life to become a bookkeeper on a goddamn pirate ship

Who felt romantic feelings first?

Before Ninlana, Idika and Felar never admitted to any feelings, but then Ninlana would get a crush on Idika and they became somewhat a thing, but Idika explained her and Felar’s situation to Nin and she was like ok cool, I think he’s hot too. Felar never pushed them to come to him and he would’ve been ok with the girls being exclusive but Idika didn’t want that. So Felar was the one who caught feelings last

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Ninlana, she tried so hard, but months on sea with a cool and nice Idika watching her back, she maybe was lil naiive at first but was later hardened enough to make the decision herself to stay

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

They wouldn’t believe in soulmates, but after being cursed for messing with Devia and spending centuries all by themselves and still sticking together.. i guess that would count as soulmates

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

Ninlana was the first one to wear her heart on a sleeve. Idika had to take a step back and think about it, but they were on a ship so she couldn’t get far. They later just confirmed that yeah, i like you, you’re dear to me

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

First date as a trio would be months and months in on them trying to figure out what tf are they. Some port city Ninilana would be familiar with and her showing her favorite places. Even if Felar and Idika had been there it would be all new because they never leave the seaside pubs and inns

What was their first kiss like?

Ninlana and Idika’s was a real shy and quick peck on the lips. Idika and Felar’s was probably an angry and heated makeout in the captain’s quarters. Ninlana and Felar were both anxious about it, Felar afraid he’ll scare her or hurt her and Ninlana more anxious about if Felar is doing it because he wants to or is it because Idika made him do it. 

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

Felar’s had his firsts way before the girls. Idika’s kissed and banged before but hadn’t been in a relationship this serious. Ninlana had been in a brief relationship back home but she hasn’t gone further than kissing.

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

Ninlana is a head shorter than Idika, and head and a half shorter than Felar. Idika is the oldest of the three, Felar being couple years younger and Nin being further couple years

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Naturally Nin’s family hate Felar and Idika, and the crew is pretty much Idika and Felar’s family, they first were not that warm towards Nin but few threats from the captain and first mate and Nin being the only one who can do math later they grew to like and her and she’s very treasured now

Who takes the lead in social situations?

Felar when it’s business, Ninlana when it’s off hours. Idika agrees on them just doing their thing

Who gets jealous easier?

Idika, she’s the jealous type, also it was because of that trait she brought Felar in because she knew she’d be jealous and salty as all hell if it was Nin and Felar getting closer

The Tol and The Smol

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

Maz, they knew even if Moran felt the same way they wouldn’t be able to say it first, so they beat them to the punch

What are their primary love languages?

Touch and quality time. Moran has Four arms to hug and hold Maz. Maz has a very squishy tail Moran is free to plant their face in when stress relief is needed. And whenever Moran comes back from their travel it’s Quality Time Babey, even if it’s laying in bed and eating snacks

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

Cuddles? Very often. PDA? Not so much, hand holding is necessary when out in public bc Maz Will Disappear and Moran Will Panic

What are their favorite things to do together?

Just hang out at their little home, organize the shop and lay down in bed, it’s very cozy and comfy and both will rather be inside together than out and about in busy streets

Who’s better at comforting the other?

Maz, at least with words. Moran I believe would give hugs that would melt any stress away

Who’s more protective?

Maz, they small, but they protecc, against strange masked people with guns at their door, they’re getting the >:V

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Physical, they’ve been together long enough to not need words all the time, plus, both are Very huggable

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

Welp i’ve already put still in love with you from esc great year of, uuh, 2015, in a music post before. It’s super cheesy but i fucking love it

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

oh god im really bad at nicknames and i think i’ve already written this answer somewhere

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?

Maz, again, they just knew Moran wouldn’t be able to do it

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

Very small ceremony, the part is just cake and coffee, nothing fancy. They don’t have too many friends and family either so it’s just their immediate family and Mariya, maybe Shaina and her wives too

Who kills the bugs in the house?

Neither, just scoop them out, they’re happier outside

How do they celebrate holidays?

Just put up few ages old decorations that fit in their tiny home

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Moran, they real sleepy when back home. Maz can be persuaded to come back to bed but not for too long the shop needs to be opened

Who’s the better cook?

Honestly? Both are kinda so and so. Moran doesn’t make anything fancy and Maz is missing few taste sensors, but when they do cook it’s with all their love

[hiddenleafstoryteller]

My OCs pt.1

You know, the post I promised 2 days ago 😝

Persephone “Batsy” Saito

A rendition done by the lovely @smol-mermaid I imagine her being ~16 in this picture

Persephone is the daughter of Jonin Hideo Saito & Akari Saito

At the beginning of the Naruto series she is eleven, so about a year younger than the OG crew

She is roughly 5’3” and stays that height for her life

She was born with horrible eyesight, her amethyst eyes and round thick glasses attest to it, but also the power of echolocation, similar to bats

Her Genjutsu involves working her way into the subconscious of her opponent and persuading them to do as she pleases (not mind control), she can also plant images into her opponents head. She may not have killed their loved one but she can show them all the ways she will

A picture I drew of Ji & Seph the day she graduates from the academy

Seph’s best friend is @might-guys-acorn ‘s OC Shikajime Nara

He’s the only one allowed to call her “Sephy”

Shikajime’s father is Seph’s Godfather

Persephone has been following Shikajime around like a lost puppy since she learned how to walk

People often think they’re dating, but the two of them are revolted by the idea

Ji is the first person to point out Persephone’s painfully obvious crush on Kiba Inuzuka

A lovely lovely drawing done by @discendia​ of Persephone & Kiba’s eventual wedding when Seph is ~18

Kiba and Persephone have never really seen eye to eye

They both often bicker to Ji about the other 

Akamaru loves being around Persephone, something that annoys Kiba to no end

When Persephone is 15, Kiba saves her from drowning

Their relationship shifts and they end up becoming very close friends and eventually catch feelings for each other

For her 16th birthday, Kiba gives Persephone a puppy named Mochi

More artwork by the lovely @discendia 🥰

I’m sure there are things I’m forgetting to post but oh well, here is my first OC!

[themandylion]

[fic] Stat Roll

Please enjoy this little story about a certain smol dragon’s boyfriend in honor of the first Saturday in May.

—

"You can help out in the shop Saturday, right?" is the first thing out of Jason's mouth when Tim sticks his head in at the end of the day. Normally he'd be a bit less snappy, but he's trying to get everything in order and he's already feeling frazzled even though he's still got a few days.

"Uh, but peewee game?" "Postponed until next week. I don't need one more thing to deal with along with everything else." Jason tugs the vacuum closer and does another pass by the used and discount racks. Honestly, he has no idea how the carpet gets so much dirtier over here than the rest of the store. "Wait, is something going on? I know Bart wanted to get together and do something for May the Fourth, but I told him I couldn't because of the peewee game." Jason stares at him. "Seriously? And here I thought you were the comic nerd in this relationship. Tim, it's the first Saturday of May." "Okay...?" "Free Comic Book Day." Tim blinks, then straightens. "Right! Any heavy lifting you need me to do?"

——— "Thanks again for doing this, Kyle." He honestly wasn't sure the guy would show up, especially since Jason hadn't offered him compensation aside from lunch and free publicity, but apparently his pleas hadn't fallen on deaf ears as he'd originally feared. "You pulled the guilt-tripping ex card and offered me free food, of course I wasn't going say no," Kyle says, dropping his bag under the table and plopping himself down. "Do I need to stay the whole day, or just a couple hours? Only I told Jade I was doing this and she wanted to swing by, finally meet you." "Er, as long as you can stick it out, really? I'm not sure how much of a draw you'll be, most of the customers skew on the younger side." Jason had asked Tim to put out word that the author/artist of the City Dwellers series is going to be at Knight & Page, but he has no idea if it did any good—the mysteries of social media are beyond his ken. "Sounds good. Say, speaking of meeting people, do I finally get to meet the mysterious 'Tim'?" Kyle waggles his eyebrows, because he is ridiculous. "Yeah, he's agreed to help out. He'll be back any moment now, just ran out to get bagels or something for all of us." Jason nods over at where Sin is getting herself situated at the free comic table, Charlie helping her straighten stacks. "He better hurry up if you want a chance to eat them before the masses descend. They're already starting to look restless out there." Kyle gestures to the window, where a small crowd has already gathered out front, waiting for the doors to open. "I don't know why they do this every year. They know I'm not opening those doors until 10 o'clock." "Ah, but what if one year you decide to open at 9:30 and that's the year they wait until 10? They'll never forgive themselves." Jason makes a face. "And now I'm once again reminded why I broke up with you. Ugh. I'm going to go check on Tim—don't you dare open those doors." ——— If the bagels are ever a thing, Jason never sees them. Heck, he doesn't even see Tim until quarter-past noon, when a pair of arms snake around his middle and a sharp chin digs into his back. "D'you know you've got a dryad hanging out at the signing table?" Jason glances over, sees the pretty woman sitting next to Kyle, and shakes his head. "That's just Jade." Who he'd finally had a chance to meet earlier, albeit very briefly before being called away to check the basement for extra stock. "Pretty sure she's not a dryad—she's dating Kyle, and he's completely mundane." "Yeah, no. Definitely a dryad. Her aura's all green, very pretty," Tim says. "Also, met your ex. Nice guy, cute butt." "How can you even see his butt, he's sitting down? Never mind, don't answer that." It's probably some weird magical thing that Jason has yet to learn. "Shit, I can't believe she's a dryad. Don't magical types generally stick to dating other magical people?" He hopes this isn't going to come back to bite Kyle in his apparently cute rear end. Kyle likes Jade—quite a lot, from what Jason's gathered—and he deserves to catch a break with his love life after the shit show it's been (and yes, Jason's including himself in that). "Love doesn't always follow rules. I started dating you when you were still mundane. And, actually, there's might be some latent potential in him—two potentials hooking up, one of them later going on to date a dragon, the other a dryad? Magical people tend to gravitate towards one another, sometimes without even realizing it." Tim pulls away slightly, allowing Jason to turn and slip an arm around his waist. "Well, in the case of me and Kyle, it was more we had a really good time in bed nearly bit off each other's heads the rest of the time. I don't know if gravity even really factored into it, just two dudes being kinda horny for each other." "I really want to make a bad pun in response to that, but it wouldn't work on account my not actually having horns," Tim grumbles. "Oh, hey. Reason I'm over here aside from wanting to appreciate your very cute butt—it's nearly 12:30 and Kyle mentioned something about you promising him food?" "Shit, I totally forgot. Do you think you can handle things here if I slip out for fifteen, twenty minutes to get it? I'd ask you to do it, but I already know what kind of things he likes." "Go, take a break. Regain some of your last sanity," Tim says, giving him a swat. "Bring me food too?" "Of course." ——— He ends up getting enough food to cover the girls too because it's always best to stay on Babs's good side, and, after a moment of hesitation, enough for Jade as well. It's probably weird to want to make friends with his ex's girlfriend, but Kyle's still his friend and he wants to make a good impression. Laden with bags, he reaches gets back to the shop and finds he doesn't have a free hand for the door. Luckily, an older man quickly steps forward, opening it for him. "That's quite a haul there, young man. Are you planning to feed a small army?" "Feels like it, but no. I've got friends helping me out with something today and I figure the least I can do is make sure they get fed. Thanks for getting the door." "Not at all, I was on my way in anyway." Jason can't help the, "Really?" that slips out in response. He know he shouldn't be surprised that old people are interested in comics as well as young, but even his older customers are rarely as long in the tooth as this guy. "Well, I haven't been by since Hiram passed, so I figured it was about time." The man smiles, his blue eyes positively twinkling in the afternoon sunlight streaming in through the windows as he straightens so he's no longer leaning on his cane. For one brief moment there's silence, all the crowds vanishing and leaving the store completely empty except for just the two of them. Except it's not one moment—or, if it is, it's a moment that's stretching on for forever.

"Oh," Jason says a little dumbly, staring at the man.

"Hello, Jason, I'm Alan. On behalf of the local wizard circle, I'd like to welcome you to our little community."

"Who in the what now?"

"When my daughter said you'd eaten the egg, I figured it was past time for me to come see you myself."

"But, wizard…?" Tim made it pretty clear to him that wizards are not the type to be having kids.

"Yes, well. That's the curious thing about dryads, you know—they're plants, and not all plants strictly ascribe to one sex. Jade's other parent was a real character, lemme tell you!" The wizard laughs, clapping Jason on the back. "Come on, let's pull your friends into the time bubble. From what recall back when Hiram used to run this place, I'm sure they're all in need of a bit of a break before heading back into the fray."

[cenobxter]

For @sphynx-nightmare's No. 19 of “ ♡Tol and Smol prompts♡ “

The hem of the Hell Priest’s long, black cassock flowed smoothly over the steps up toward the alter. Seated there, on what looked to be a twisted, bone-structured Bishop’s throne, was his human lover. His wife, bound in this life and his past life, which had not long been left behind. Nevertheless, their love was as strong as it has ever been -- even after being  less involved with his wife’s day-to-day life with t heir daughter. The Priest would do his duties in hell, passing the time to which he would be able to see them again, whenever they could make the journey. His responsibility was not without sacrifice, but there was indeed great benefits in his role as the Pontifex of Leviathan. Casey knew this, as she had known him long before returning to his mortal life for a time. She had shown him the pleasures of a life he could have lived before, and now -- the Priest was more obliged to teach her his own lessons of pleasure, as well as pain.

Perking up at the sight of her lover, Casey stood to her feet. She appeared to be wearing something more uncommon of what she had normally worn in his presence; a long, silk dress -- the blackness of it fitting well with her raven-hair. Upon seeing this, the corner of the Priest’s mouth raised, motioning with his hand that she needn’t stand as the others did to acknowledge his attendance. 

"I see that you are somewhat becoming more accustomed to our ritualistic attire.” The Priest spoke, his lover sitting back down to accommodate his wish.

“Balberith thought ah should fit in more. Didn’t want me being mistaken for another prisoner of hell. Ye can thank her for making it for me.” Casey tensed, shyly swiping a strand of her hair behind her ear. The Pontifex hummed in agreement, his soulless eyes wandering across the exposed flesh of her shoulders and arms. “I will -- but first, perhaps I should show my utmost gratitude to you.”

Casey swallowed, her eyebrows furrowing in a flustered manner. Her mouth went dry, failing to come up with a reply. It had only been weeks since the Priest had returned to his status, and this was a side she hadn’t seen before. She didn’t want to assume, but by the way he looked at her -- she felt as though she was his meal, ready to be devoured. The Hell Priest lowered himself, slowly -- using the arm of the throne to do so. His dark eyes stared sternly into hers, never breaking contact as he got down on one knee between her own. It was better than she had imagined before, how he captivated her. How he was able to turn her speechless, turn her to a hot mess -- without doing anything. Before, through their first years of friendship as a human and Hell Priest; it was all just fantasies. She had been taken by him before, as his human self -- but not like this. 

“...Y--Ye don’t need to...” Casey blurted out softly. She was still coming to terms with it all -- that this entity, was Elliot. Is Elliot. The man she made love to then. Her husband. So why was she so timid now? His overwhelming presence had already begun to take a hold of her body, how she was wet at just the thought of him intimately touching her. 

“I insist.” The Hell Priest responded, his blood--covered fingertips moving to roam up the underneath of her dress, unsheathing her bare legs. “This will be my pleasure, as much as it will be yours.” His hands continued to trail upward against the soft flesh of her legs, lifting the soft fabric to reveal her thighs. In this moment, Casey had fallen silent once again. Her small hands were tucked closely to her chest, clueless as to where she should put them. But as his continued to caress her, she could feel her body ache for him. She missed him, but this form was unknown to her. Turning his attention to the self-inflicted scars on her thigh, the Hell Priest began to trace over them -- the tips of his fingers stroking them endearingly. 

“Oh, how I’ve missed this scent. So much more potent to me, now -- so sweet, the smell of your cunt. I can practically taste it.” The Priest’s eyes moved to catch the reaction of his lover, who undoubtedly was stunned. He wasn’t wrong, there was no way she could lie about it. His senses were of supernatural ability; his sense of smell, hearing, sight; most likely in other fields as well. Breaking from her tense posture, Casey’s hands moved to cup the sides of his face, fingers carefully placed between the nails at crossed intersections scarred into his pale skin. A shy smile lit across her face, quietly whispering to her eager husband.

“Somebody could catch us..”

“Yes, isn’t that exciting?” Shifting his hands underneath her legs, the Pontifex abruptly pulled his lover forward by her bottom -- causing her to yelp out an echo into the foyer that accommodated them. She was slouched now, the bottom of her dress lifted onto her stomach as the Hell Priest revealed her undergarments. Casey’s hands gripped the arms of the throne, keeping her upper body upright as her Cenobite partner softly pressed at the plumpness of her sex with his index finger. She was already wet through, swollen; and his presence there was it’s cause. The girl’s head rolled back, closing her eyes as her lover began to softly massage the sensitive nub through the fabric. Her soft moans of desperation filled the room, and the pleasure lingering long enough for the Priest to move both of his hands to the rim of her underwear. Without warning, he aggressively tore them from the middle outward -- completely exposing the wet flesh of her quim. Casey gasped harshly, her breath shaking from the anticipation of what was to come, all the while watching him admire the body that was so familiar to him. The calves of her legs pressed to the back of her thigh, The Pontifex now grabbing a hold of his lovers hips to pull her closer. She could feel the nails protruding from his skull collide with her skin, making her whimper softly as he grew near. His cold breath hit her slit, and her legs jerked to close -- almost piercing herself on the nails driven into his head. The Priest smirked, his mouth now open to welcome her quim as his tongue softly trailed over her clit. Casey gripped the stone throne that held her, moaning and whimpering as the Cenobite mercilessly indulged in her pleasure. She was panting, squirming -- but the more she did, the harder he pressed into her. The feeling of his tongue invading her sex and the nails that almost tore her flesh drew a cry from her. But it felt so good. Something she now knew she couldn’t live without; that it could never be this amazing with anyone else. Casey’s body writhed with ecstasy, her hands moving to his head as her fingers intertwined with the nails. 

She could feel her dripping sex getting warmer with each suck, each lick, each slurp; only bringing her to cry out louder. The Hell Priest still had a tight hold of her hips, his eyes watching her as he drove her closer to her climax. He knew exactly when to stop to prolong the experience, when she was going to cum for him. He could hear how her heart thudded as her orgasm was so close, and his impatience got the better of him. Smirking, the Hell Priest finally drove his lover over the edge -- her hands gripping at his head desperately as she rode out her orgasm against his mouth, and the harsh nails extending from his face. Casey’s body twitched, high from the pleasure; despite that, the Hell Priest continued. Casey’s legs involuntarily jerked even more, sensitive from the release that was just given to her. She shook her head, trying to push him back from her slit, but to no avail. Suddenly, a familiar voice rose up in the distance.

“My Lord,” Sister Cilice began, completely unphased by the activity taking place only a few feet in front of her. Casey jumped, frightfully trying to push Priest away, but he wouldn’t budge. He simply stopped, turning his head to acknowledge the presence of the Priestess.

“Sister Flagellum calls for your attendance. Leviathan wishes to speak to us directly.”

“..I see.” The Hell Priest responded. “Wait for me outside. I will be there shortly.”

“Yes, my Lord.” Sister Cilice turned, walking out towards the higher levels of the pit. Casey, timidly covering herself as much as she could, waited for the female Cenobite to vacate before roughhousing the Priest as he stood. 

“You bastard! How fuckin’ long was she there for?!” Casey burst out, the Hell Priest still wiping her essence from his lips. For a moment, he stayed silent -- only answering her once he had turned to walk away.

“Most of it.” He replied. Casey growled, burying her face in her hands with sheer embarrassment. It must have been a regular sight for most Cenobite’s, but the thought of being watched made her want to die inside. Her face turned red, not knowing whether she could even look Cilice in the eye again -- as much as it may have seemed like nothing to her. Stopping half way from the throne to the door, The Pontifex turned once more to look at Casey, reaching out his hand to her. “Come along with me.” 

As much as he had embarrassed the absolute shit out of her, she wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to spend time with him while she could. Fixing her attire briefly, Casey stood up and made her way over to the Priest. She took his arm, mostly because she felt like she needed the support from her legs still shaking. Coming to the realisation of it all, his short lover broke out a short laugh, planting a kiss on his shoulder as she walked along side him.

“You Arsehole.”

[thelastspeecher]

Spy AU - Toxin, pt. 4

So anyways yesterday when I posted a ficlet, I actually already had the follow-up to said ficlet ready for posting which doesn’t happen very often.  If you were on the edge of your seat, wondering what happens next, here it is.  Smol de-aged Ford at the Guck farm.  There’s angst but also chickens.  Enjoy.

(Uh...if you don’t like needles, warning, there are needles in this)

              Ford woke up in an unfamiliar room.  He sat bolt upright in a panic, his heart racing.

              Where am I?  What happened?  Did I get kidnapped?  Am I- He caught sight of a framed picture on the wall.  It was of two people at a wedding.  He immediately recognized them as Angie and Fiddleford’s parents.  His heartrate began to slow.  Okay.  I haven’t been kidnapped.  I’m presumably at the McGucket farmstead. He put aside the blanket that had been carefully tucked around him and slid off the bed.  I’m getting sick of the unpredictability of my new sleeping habits already.  The door to the room had been left ajar; he silently pushed it open further to exit into a hallway.

              “…You’re sure that no one found out where we lived?” Stan asked from somewhere else in the house.  Ford began to head in the direction of Stan’s voice.  “Like, completely sure?”

              “Yes, Stanley, we are,” Mrs. McGucket’s voice said calmly.  “If there was even a doubt about it, we wouldn’t have allowed Stanford to stay with ya, since he was the one targeted.”  Ford entered a living room.  Potted plants were on nearly every surface, and the walls were covered with family pictures.  Somehow, the clutter didn’t make Ford feel claustrophobic.  Instead, the room merely felt homey.  Angie and Stan were seated on a floral-patterned couch, while Mrs. McGucket sat regally in an armchair.  Ford stared at her for a moment, admiring the way Mrs. McGucket commanded the room.

              It’s like she’s a monarch holding court. Mrs. McGucket looked over.  She beamed.

              “Howdy there, Stanford.”  Ford blushed. “Aw, no need to get flustered.” Her voice was warm and maternal.

              Angie clearly picked up some childcare tips from her mother.

              “Are ya well-rested?” Mrs. McGucket asked.  Ford nodded silently.  “Are ya sure?  If yer still tired, you can take another nap.  It’s fine.  We weren’t talkin’ ‘bout anything that ya needed to hear anyways.”  Out of the corner of his eye, Ford saw Stan swiftly and silently slide a sheet of paper into a manilla folder.

              “No, I’m fine, Mrs. McGucket,” Ford said.

              “All righty then.  Why don’t ya join Stan ‘n Angie on the couch.  We can have us a chat ‘fore ya spend some time with the chickens.”

              “I don’t need to spend time with chickens,” Ford protested.

              “That’s fine.  But ya should still go fer a walk ‘round the farm.  It’ll do ya some good.”

              “Okay,” Ford mumbled reluctantly.  He walked over to the couch.  Stan quickly set the manilla folder from before on the coffee table, then lifted Ford onto the sofa next to him.  Ford looked at the manilla folder.  It was nondescript.  A single corner from the page Stan had slid into it peeked out.  Angie reached over to shove the paper in completely.

              Hmm.  Odd.  I wonder what’s in that.

              “We should prob’ly get the nasty thing out of the way,” Mrs. McGucket said. Ford blinked.

              “What nasty thing?” he asked.  Stan grimaced.

              “He just woke up.  Can’t he have a minute or two?” Stan asked.  Mrs. McGucket nodded.

              “Sure, but yer only prolonging the inevitable.”

              “What?” Ford asked again.

              “Fidds is goin’ to take some blood samples from ya,” Angie said.  Ice filled Ford’s veins.  Tears sprang to his eyes.  Angie’s calm expression morphed to one of alarm.  “What’s wrong?”

              “I don’t- I don’t-” Ford started.  Stan started to rub Ford’s back.

              “When we were kids, Ford got poked and prodded by a billion doctors,” Stan said.  “He hated any medical thing until we were in high school.”  Ford sniffed.  “…I, uh, I guess that’s back now.”

              “I don’t know why I’m having this reaction,” Ford said shakily. “Yesterday, you said HQ would want to perform regular check-ups, and I was fine.”

              “This toxin ain’t somethin’ to mess ‘round with,” Mrs. McGucket said. Ford rubbed his eyes.  “I’ll go tell Fidds to get things set up.”  She got up from her armchair and left.  Ford took a shuddering breath.

              “What- what all happened?”

              “What do ya mean?” Angie asked.

              “The last thing I remember is being on the plane.”

              “Oh.  Well, ya fell asleep pretty fast.  We decided not to bother tryin’ to wake ya up before ya were ready, so we just let ya sleep,” Angie said.  She rubbed the back of her neck.  “Honestly, we were expectin’ ya to wake up way before now.  I mean, ya slept through the plane landing, us getting off the plane, us getting in the car, us driving to the farm, us taking you inside.  All of it.”

              “Guess getting shrunk makes you tired,” Stan said.  Ford was quiet.  “Ford?”

              “I don’t like these unexpected sleeping spells,” Ford said.

              “Well, once we get ya on a nap schedule, they won’t happen,” Angie said. “You’ll sleep durin’ naptime, not durin’ dinner or while we’re drivin’ somewhere.”

              “Naptime,” Ford mumbled.  Fiddleford entered the living room with a briefcase.  Ford perked up.  “Fidds!” Fiddleford smiled weakly.

              “Howdy.”  He set the briefcase on the coffee table and opened it.  Ford began to shake at the sight of the contents: syringes and test tubes. “Don’t worry, it won’t hurt one bit,” Fiddleford said.  He took a step closer to Ford.  Ford immediately tried to hide behind Stan.

              “Wh- Ford, it’s okay,” Stan said.

              “No needles,” Ford stammered, still attempting to squeeze into the space between Stan’s back and the couch.  “No needles!”  Stan reached around, grabbed Ford, and held him close to his chest.  Fiddleford removed one of the syringes from the briefcase. “No!”  Ford tried to break free of Stan’s grip.

              “Stanley, turn him around,” Angie instructed.  Stan did as Angie suggested, turning Ford so that he faced Stan, rather than Fiddleford.  Ford continued to try to escape.  “Stanford, stay still.”

              “I don’t wanna needle!”

              “Stanford,” Fiddleford said pleadingly.

              “No needles!”

              “Ford,” Stan said.  His voice was completely calm.  “I’ve got you.  You’re safe. You trust me, right?”  Ford nodded.  “And you trust Fiddleford, right?”  Ford nodded again.  “See? It’s fine.”

              “I don’t want needles,” Ford whispered.

              “After Fidds gets the samples, we’ll get you somethin’ special, okay? Anything you want,” Stan said. Some part of Ford screamed that he wasn’t to be bribed like a child.  That small part was overridden by the possibilities that immediately flooded Ford’s mind.

              Anything I want?  What would I choose?  Ford was so distracted by his own excitement that he didn’t notice his sleeve getting rolled up or a small patch of skin getting swabbed by disinfectant.  A new book?  Ice cream?  A tour of the R&D lab?  He did, however, feel the needle.

              “Ow!”

              “It’s okay,” Stan said, again in that overly calm tone.  “It’s okay.”  Ford felt a bandaid being taped onto his arm.  His other sleeve was rolled up.  Ford began to whimper.  “Think about what you want after this is done, okay?”

              “Okay,” Ford mumbled.  He tried to focus on the possibility of a reward.

              Could I convince Stan and Angie to buy me a small pet, like a hamster?  Or maybe just a dinosaur model.  The second needle pierced his skin.  Ford whimpered again.  Maybe five dinosaur models.

----- 

              A chicken ran in front of Ford.  Ford didn’t notice.  He was too busy rolling up his sleeves and counting each bandaid on his arms.  The bandages were decorated with trucks and boats, something that would normally annoy him.  But he was too drained to feel emotions.  He looked over at Fiddleford accusingly.

              “Was it really necessary to take four samples of blood?” he asked.

              “Look, I did what I was told to do.”  Fiddleford looked away sheepishly.  “And actually, it was five.”  Ford’s stomach flipped over.  He re-counted the bandaids.

              “No, no, I count four.”  He began to hyperventilate.  “I count four.  I can’t have forgotten to count already, I-”

              “There’s one on your leg,” Stan said.  He knelt by Ford’s side and rolled up his left pant leg.  Sure enough, a bandaid with a truck emblazoned on it was slapped onto his calf.  Ford blinked.

              “I don’t remember that one.”

              “I’m pretty sure by that point you were having an out-of-body experience,” Stan said.  He pulled the pant leg down again.  “I didn’t think you were gonna freak out that much.  It’s been years since you’ve gotten even a bit nervous about needles.”

              “I’m in the same boat,” Ford mumbled.  Now that the moment had passed, he felt ashamed of his behavior.  “I can’t believe I tried to hide behind you, Stan.”

              “Eh.  The first time we went to the pediatrician, Danny tried to make a break for it,” Stan said with a shrug.  He stood. “She nearly got away with it, too. Got past us and started running down the hall before a nurse grabbed her.”  Ford tried not to think about yet another comparison between him and Stan and Angie’s young daughters.

              “So, do ya know what ya want fer yer reward?” Angie asked.  Ford looked up at her.

              “I thought that was just to get me to calm down.  You’re really going to get me a reward?  For something as mundane as getting blood drawn?”  Angie nodded.  “Why?”

              “We told ya we would,” Angie said simply.  She crouched by his side and handed him a bag of chicken feed.  “Why don’t ya help us feed the chickens?”

              “I’m not a child,” Ford scoffed.  He immediately flushed.

              I tried to hide from needles.  I don’t know if I can claim that.

              “I’m not a kid, either,” Stan said.  He scattered some chicken feed.  “But I’m still helping out.”

              “Fine,” Ford said.  He stuffed a hand into the bag and grabbed some feed, then tossed it onto the ground. A chicken immediately trotted over to peck at the seeds.  Ford’s eyes widened.  

              It’s so close.  He reached out a hand.  The chicken scrambled away at first, but then slowly approached again. Ford’s breath caught in his throat. The chicken was close enough for him to touch now.  He gently stroked the chicken’s back.

              “Remarkable,” he breathed.  The chicken let out a sudden squawk.  It pecked at his hand and scampered away.  Ford blinked.  “…Oh.”

              “You didn’t get hurt, did ya?” Stan asked.  Ford looked over.

              “Huh?”

              “It pecked you.  Are you all right?”

              “Yes, Stanley, I’m fine.  I’ve experienced far worse.”

              “Oh.  Right. Right.”  Stan looked at Angie.  She shook her head.  “We’re probably gonna have to leave soon, so finish up feeding the chickens, okay? Angie and I need to talk to Sally.” Ford nodded.  “Fiddlenerd will stay here to watch you.”

              “That’s not my-” Fiddleford started.  He huffed.  “Fine. Whatever.”

              “I don’t need supervision,” Ford said.  Stan was silent.  “Stan? Did you hear me?”

              “Yeah.  I did.” Stan paused.  “Fiddlenerd, bring him in when you guys are all done, okay? He’s probably gonna stay awake on the plane this time, so we want him to have some say in what snacks and stuff we bring.”  Fiddleford nodded.  Stan and Angie trudged out of the chicken enclosure and towards the house.  Ford slumped.

              “You all right?” Fiddleford asked.  Ford shook his head.

              “I was happy for a moment,” Ford said quietly.  He tossed some more feed.  “I guess Angie was right that I’d like the chickens.  But- but everything that happens just reminds me that I’m a child right now.  I- I panicked over needles, I needed to be consoled with promises of a reward, Stan was worried I’d be upset over a chicken barely pecking at me, and- and I can’t be left unsupervised.  With chickens.  Ten feet away from the house.”  Ford removed his hand from the feed bag, clenched around a fistful of seeds.  He stared down at his fist, chubby with baby fat. “Even- even my hands!  They’re- this is a child’s hand.  A young child’s hand.”

              “Well, sure it is.  Yer a young child right now.”

              “I don’t want to be.”

              “I know.”  Fiddleford silently threw some feed.  “All those blood samples will help us figure out a way to put ya back to normal, though, don’t worry.”  Fiddleford looked over at him.  “And in the meantime, try to enjoy it.”  Ford stared blankly.

              “Enjoy being three?”

              “Focus on the positives instead of the negatives.  Like we always do on the regression missions.”  Fiddleford tossed feed.  “Let’s think of some positives right now.  First one is that ya get to spend quality time with Stan ‘n Angie.  Spendin’ time with fam’ly is always nice.  Second is that ya don’t have any responsibilities.  Not a single one.  Ya don’t even have school.”

              “That’s a fair point.”

              “Third is that Stan ‘n Angie are suckers fer a cute face,” Fiddleford continued. “And they’re so worried that I’d imagine they’ll go even more overboard than usual.  You’ll get spoiled rotten by those two.”

              “That’s right.”  Ford threw some more feed onto the ground.

              “Why don’t you try to come up with one?”

              “Okay.  Um…” Ford wrinkled his brow.  “Strangers won’t comment on my polydactyly.  I remember faintly that when I was very young, people didn’t even notice it half the time.  They were too focused on my admittedly chubby cheeks.”

              “There ya go.  Four whole reasons this won’t be as bad as it seems,” Fiddleford said.  He stuffed his hand inside his feed bag.  “Oop.  Looks like we’re all out.  C’mon, let’s head inside.  Get ya ready fer the plane.”  Fiddleford opened the gate, allowing Ford to exit.  Ford looked up at Fiddleford.

              “R&D will figure it out quick, won’t they?” he asked.  Fiddleford nodded.

              “They sure will,” Fiddleford said.  Ford beamed.  Stan opened the front door.

              “Get in here, pipsqueak, or I’m gonna choose your snacks for you!” he called. Ford immediately ran for the house, clambering up the porch stairs and rushing past Stan, who was still holding the door open.  Stan chuckled and closed the door.  Fiddleford sighed.

              “Fifth reason is that he can’t tell I’m lyin’.”

[anima-contritum]

SMFDR magic!au headcanons

A/N: as promised, i give to you the smfdr boys featuring angsT. im currently still working on the fic so stay tuned y’all because i might do another hc post with other characters (; and as always, enjoy (and check out my girl @11wolfpup11 because she’s my co in this). sidenote: Luna Andre is my oc and is John Andre and Peggy Shippen Andre’s daughter. all ya need to know for now is shes a freckley, sassy cutey that will do anything for her fam and a-a-ron

Thomas:

Death Wizard

dis poor boy can kill or weaken any living thing with just the touch of his hand

hell, any part of him is almost toxic 

and he hates it more than anything, I mean who wants to be friends with someone who can’t give hugs or even the smallest gestures without the fear of dying at his hand?

honestly, no one really fucks with him

most avoid him at all costs besides James, but sometimes that’s a good thing

he can also sometimes talk to spirits and the dead as his ability is often linked to the dark arts, but the ghosts and such have to be the ones to contact him first

it scared the shit out of him the first time it happened

one of the other students’ dead grandparents reached out to him in the middle of class and he flipped the fuck out

but he himself has yet to hear from his own parents...

sometimes other students call him the Grimm Reaper

This boy would give anything to have a new power

he tries hard not to use his powers because someone either gets hurt or ends up passing out in the middle of class

he shoves it all down but because he’s so damn powerful (one of the most powerful in the school) but it leaks out anyways

it usually just kills nearby plants in which James fixes

most times he wears a lot of thick clothing and black leather gloves to keep himself from hurting people

when he first found out what he could do, he accidentally killed his parents

no one mentions it unless they literally have a death wish

either way, he’s tried so hard to try and erase the power from his soul

he’s tried spells and potions and chants and even tried to sell his soul because, i mean, if he doesn’t have a soul then he wouldn’t have any magic as magic always originates within one’s soul

James didn’t let him out of his sights for weeks after that

Did i mention he loves attention and affection?

Tommy boy puts on this sort of ‘bad boy’ aura to push people away but deep down he just wants affection

he never shows it in public but when he and James are alone in their shared dorm room, he’ll let James put flowers in his poofy curls and rant about how much he hates how Professor Hewlett gets sidetracked so easily in class

he’ll make sassy remarks in class all the time just to get the attention

and most times, it’s hilarious

emphasis on most

but he still always has a soft spot for his best friend

My boy trusts James Madison more than anyone else

because of James’ counteracting power, the two sorta just fit

Thomas is able to take his gloves off around him and be comfortable, mostly in the setting of their dorm

it took him a while to be able to do that kind of stuff because for most of his life he didn’t touch anyone

but when James assured time after time Thomas’ powers don’t affect him, eventually he became more himself around James and allowed himself to be comfortable with touches and pretend he doesn’t feel his pulse quicken and his heart jump in his throat bc fuck he loves his Jemmy

Sometimes it’s not enough

there are some instances where Thomas looses himself in the pure amount of strength his power has and James has to be the one to pull him back

and despite James being equally as strong, it still weakens him

Thomas never forgets those times...

he’ll lock himself away from everyone, including James for days

it’s like his power surges in him, begging him to release darkness and death on every damn student

it’s hard to control it and it comes in big waves, usually in correspondence with his anger issues because

this poor boy gets mad pretty fast

but James is still always there for him

he defends Tom and protects him

through it all, it always seems like they were meant to be

James:

Life Wizard

can bring most things to life and heal wounds 

although depending on what the thing is or what kind of wound depends on hard it is to actually resurrect or heal

he really likes to heal plants and can even spawn lil flowers and such 

he’s honestly the cutest flower boy

if he passes a dying tree or wilting flower, he always stops and makes it the most lively, beautiful thing he mostly does it with what Thomas accidentally kills

he takes pride in it but sometimes his gift can be a burden

when he first discovered them he revived someone who was dead while he was at damn funeral

it was a shit show

The most puRE

he wears these round glasses and is the quiet type in classes

if he notices someone upset or nervous, he leaves them a flower on their desk as an anonymous person but everyone knows it’s him

he has his own garden in his dorm along a window on his side of the room and checks it over every morning

he knows how much Thomas tries to avoid his garden in fear of killing it but he trusts him to not do it intentionally

Thomas sometimes gives him skulls he finds in the woods that surrounds the school and James likes to fill them with flowers and put them in the garden

“That just takes away the intimidation purpose of it, Jemmy.”

“Shush, you love it.”

usually he can pick out the days Thomas will be moodier than usual and makes sure to put on his favorite show and give him all the love and affection he wants

and yes, he loves putting flowers - usually violets - in Tom’s hair

his favorite flower type to grow are blossoming flowers because he likes the way they just bloom

Even though he pure, he fierce 

don’t let appearance fool you

he may be a smol cute little guy but when it comes to people talking crap about Jefferson or shutting down his own brilliant ideas and works, he will throw down

there was this one time he “accidentally” had a giant vine wrap around another student, hanging him on a ceiling fan

he’s very methodical and cold in his fierceness but combined with Thomas’ brutality and kill-first-ask-questions-later attitude they’re kinda known as people to never get on the bad side of

Aaron:

Shadow Wizard 

this bean can control or manipulate shadows and darkness to his will

in some ways he can even travel through shadows but he has to envision just exactly where he want to go and its kinda complex

but he can also use his power as a dark art even though he doesn’t prefer to do that

he mostly uses his powers to create shadow puppets and mimics that are mindless, dark creatures that are harmless and normally gentle that he can control (though he prefers not to most times)

everyone’s a little bit intimidated by him though because of his mysteriousness and just... dark aura

He loves his shadow puppets

he summons them to help with simple tasks or for company

sometimes, he sings with them for his own entertainment

it helps to avoid his loneliness

(Shadows: we dream of a brand new start, Burr: but we dream in the dark for the most part)

or he sometimes uses them to eavesdrop and sneak around because why not?

his favorite ones looks like a raven that perches on his shoulder as he does his work

Not the most social person but loves the hecc outta his friends

Aaron generally has two main friends - Luna Andre and Theodosia Prevost 

Luna and him have been best friends since the very beginning, instantly connecting. they both came to Flilria around the same time so it was easy to gravitate towards each other in terms of cluelessness and such

before he met Theo, Luna was basically all he had as he was an orphan even before he knew of his magic

but Luna’s family kinda adopted him almost since Burr and Luna were so close they had become like siblings

but despite that, she’s kind of a bad influence mischief wise

even so, they both hate bringing attention to themselves and often to try to stay as neutral as possible in the eye of the public, but they share their true opinions to each other in private

overall, they’re hella close sometimes too close

Luna was the one to introduce Theo to Aaron and they all are a cool friend group

even though poor Luna is a third wheel

Ah, yes. young love ft. competition

Burr always makes it his goal to be at the top of the class

and Theo just happened to be his top competition

before he met her, he hated her because she always made it so hard to keep up and maintain the number 1 title

they would always glare and tease each other when they made eye contact in the halls or in shared classes

but once Luna formally introduced Theo to him and they set aside their little competition, they really clicked

Aaron had never felt more alive when he talked to Theo

it’s all very domestic and private since they both hated the notion of PDA

[svtbiasrekt]

Being Married to Jeonghan...

ok so imagine being married to Jeonghan

I imagine him to be a super dorky husband

and a lil cringey too lol

like he’d wake you up in the mornings with a kiss

or a boop on the cheek

he’ll keep poking you until you wake up annoyed and you’re like “ughhh jeonghan let me sleep” 

and he’s like “good morning lol” and plants a kiss on your cheek 

aaaaand he’s already made your morning

the two of you would probably make breakfast together since its kinda your thing

like you would alternate days on who gets to pick the meal for breakfast

“i want pancakes”

“nooo jeonghan its my turn to pick we’re having waffles”

*pouts*

he ends up loving the waffles and wants to make them everyday and it starts to get old and you’re like wHY 

anyways

you two would always reserve weekends for dates

you two do all sorts of things

like go to art museums or gardens or parks

or the typical movie and dinner

but its always an adventure with jeonghan

like when you went to the garden for a date

it was his idea to take aesthetic pictures of each other

and boy did those photos look amazing

you two looked beautiful among all the flowers

and for your birthday

Jeonghan pretended to forget and you being your naive self really thought he did lol

but before you could get all sad and stuff jeonghan surprises you and hands you a collage of all the aesthetic pictures the two of you took that day.

you cried i mean i would too because its freaking jeonghan being a sweetheart

and as he hugged your crying form he did that classic jeonghan smile and it was so pure

sometimes you two would get into deep late night talks

and it was really comforting to know that you both could rely on each other to be shoulders to cry on

one night the deep talk somehow got to the topic of kids

jeonghan admitted he kind of felt scared about being a father

and you’re like don’t you have a bunch of kids already aka 17

he’s like “yeah but that’s different”

“what about Chan?”

“true but you know like a kid from me and you”

cue a blush from you

he blushes a lil omg so cute

and you’re like “i guess we’ll have some whenever we’re both ready”

and he’s like “are you ready?”

“...yes”

“whoa really????”

“yeah and I think you’ll be an amazing father. You’re just underestimating yourself.”

he thinks for a bit and he’s like “sure why not lol”

that was an aju nice night

soon you figure out you’re in fact pregnant

jeonghan kind of fangirls

“OIWEFSNKNRGJ IM GONNA BE A DAD”

“YOU WERE TERRIFIED TO BE ONE LIKE TWO MONTHS AGO”

now that you’re pregnant jeonghan is more protective of you

he tries to look out for you as much as possible making sure you’re safe and well

sometimes he’d make the members look out for you

one time you went to victoria’s secret cause you thought you grew a little bigger

and you saw the best sight ever

chan awkwardly standing and being surrounded by all these bras and panties and a blush spreading across his face

you burst out laughing in the store and everyone stared and once they saw who you were laughing at they stared at chan

chan: i uh um *runs out store*

you tell jeonghan what happened and he dies laughing too but remembers to remind chan not to be awkward and that he is always his first baby

a few months later you find out the baby’s gender

its a girl!!!

both of you freaked out in happiness

jeonghan wanted to go baby shopping after that appointment

you guys ended up buying a bunch of cute smol baby clothes

and a crib

you two basically bought an entire nursery

jeonghan suggested the nursery be painted rose quartz and serenity

and you’re like hell yeah

and that nursery is the most aesthetically pleasing nursery ever omg

then the baby shower came

all the seventeen members were invited of course

they made the event fun and there was even a karaoke machine with all of their songs

 you’re like i love this song

ahem

so they brought gifts

Seungcheol bought a car seat. what a responsible dad

josh got a smol seventeen onesie aww

jun got a mini version of that carrot costume he wore on ofd omg

soonyoung got a cute lil hamster plushie with 10:10 eyes and said its supposed to remind the baby about her fav uncle

wonwoo got a smol version of that plushie with glasses that was supposed to be him in aju nice era and said that the baby will end up liking this gift over soonyoung’s

jihoon got a soft blanket with seventeen’s logo on it with a matching bib along with a seventeen poster to hang up in the nursery

seokmin got a bunch of baby toys so the baby would never be bored and stay happy like him :)

mingyu brought a bongbong plushie that was probably about the same size as the baby once she was born! 

minghao bought a mini kermit like that keychain he has along with a smol baby sized sunglasses. he told jeonghan to make sure she dabs in them

Seungkwan got a baby t shirt that said “seungkwan stan”

hansol got a stitch stuffed toy

chan got a onesie that said “jeonghan’s baby” to clarify that he is not his baby when in fact his own daughter is

you gushed at all the gifts so much that your hormonal ass started crying

“aww dont cry (y/n)!” said jeonghan as he hugged you

the members copied jeonghan and you all ended up in a giant group hug

you were so thankful though 

then the day finally came

your water breaks!!

you’re like uhhh whAT DO I DO

so you scream for your husband

“y/n what happened?”

“uhhh my water just broke???”

“oh. OH!”

you two make it to the hospital and you felt like you were dying

so you decided to take it out on jeonghan

you squeezed his hand so hard you were surprised when it was still attached to his arm afterwards

anyways your daughter finally arrives!!!

yay!!!

and jeonghan is smiling but tears are flowing down his face

it was a beautiful sight

a tiredly attractive crying smiling jeonghan holding his tiny newborn daughter for the first time

you cried too

then the baby cried

but omg you both fell in love with your daughter

you two agreed on naming her (d/n)

and seventeen fanboyed when they saw her for the first time

jeonghan was so protective omg he would make sure they were holding her right 

the nurse took a family photo and even one including seventeen

those two pictures are framed in (d/n)’s room!

when you both came home jeonghan didn’t expect to lose so much sleep

he’s normally sleepy af and he’s even tireder with his beautiful daughter screaming at 3 am

he’s a secret gentleman so he tells you to go back to sleep when she starts crying

just because you two are parents doesn’t mean everything you used to do is on hold.

you started continuing date nights after (d/n) was a few months old and trusted seventeen to babysit her

you and jeonghan always took family photos

and the both of you were obsessed with your daughter

matching family outfits happened often

one date you two decided to go to the aesthetic garden and recreate the aesthetic pictures except this time you each held (d/n)

and for jeonghan’s birthday you gave him a collage similar to the one he made you except it included the updated pictures with (d/n)

he was so happy omg

overall a happy marriage

you two ended up having another kid and it was a girl this time too!

the both of you watched them grow up 

aww

and as time passed, you and jeonghan loved each other more and more each day

honestly jeonghan is the cutest husband

and funnest

god i love him

[moiraineswife]

I was tagged by @scredgirl​ thank youu!!!

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? - I’m actually not that averse to Scotland tbh? I could stay here. But also somewhere warm would be nice. Scotland is too bloody cold for me. 

If you could meet anyone living or dead, who would it be? - Uhhhh I never know how to answer these. Atm i want to meet Matthew Mercer and just be like DM for me and mine, ta. That’d be fun. 

Current fictional character crushes? - I mean, Phil remains bc, I’m not an idiot. Also all the Black Sails ladies. And Jester from the new Critical Role campaign why tf not. 

Favourite lyrics/verses of a song or poem? -I’m having a Daughter kick again so all the Medicine lyrics tbh. 

One of your happiest memories? -Mmm, I’m going to say walking through the Blarney Castle gardens in Ireland with my gf (even though it was raining -_-) because plants and lesbians. Two of the best things in the world tbh.  

Do you have a plushie best friend, if yes what is their name? (if no get out) -I have a really misshapen bat plushie I made myself and his name is Emiel bc Regis and also bc I am a Nerd. I also i have a weighted owl pillow (that i also...made myself and so it’s kind of falling apart haha) that I’m v fond of. 

What would your first order of business be if you became a powerful vampire? -Rejoicing because now my nocturnal way of life would become natural and accepted. 

What is your favourite ancient or fictional civilisation? -Probably Middle Earth tbh. Like I would 100% live in Rivendell if given the option. 

Your favourite literature/fiction trope? -I’m very here for all tol/smol relationships. That’s always Good Shit. 

Your patronus? -An owl. 

Describe your ideal day. -I have enough spoons to do whatever tf I want. Someone feeds me all day so I don’t have to bother with that nonsense. I just get left with my friends/gf and I get to read and write and just have a nice, fulfilling, relaxing day. @ the universe I REALLY DON’T FUCKING WANT MUCH, UNIVERSE. 

My questions: 

1. Song you keep listening to atm?  2. Favourite animal and why?  3. What class/race would you be in DnD if you personally were in the game (if you don’t know DnD well u SHOULD but u can either just go for basic fantasy race or skip this idc)  4. Ideal vacation destination?  5. Top 5 things on your ‘to read/to watch’ list at the moment.  6. Tattoo you either have/would get if you had the choice/had to?  7. Favourite piece of art?   8. Describe your ideal creating conditions (whatever you’re doing, writing/painting/sewing, whatever) music, no music, etc, etc.  9. What was your favourite childhood stuffed toy?   10. How do you take your tea? 

I’m actually gonna tag people bc i put effort into making up questions here: @nostariell @blogtealdeal @valamerys u three are getting dragged into this, anyone else who wants to do it :)