#AND THIS IS ALSO SO GOOD??? BECAUSE THIS IS HOW UNHEALTHY CONDITIONAL LOVE AND DEVOTION WORK????

[patchiko]

what do u think ak!jays love language (i think that’s what it’s called 😭) is? also, what type of love language do you think he’d like?? like acts of service, words of affirmation, etc.

also random headcanon but i feel like both ak and comic jay r both good cooks it’s just the vibe i get

-🪽anon

Ahkendidhso Ive written about this before but my brainrot my lovely 🪽 anon…

tw; religious themes but their very very very super metaphorical i pinky swear chat. #i love religious themes as a way to metaphorically talk about devotion

Jason Todd is as devoted to his lover as a martyr to their grace. His faith to his loved one is almost insufferable at its core.

Like in a,’ My lungs only breathe because I have faith in your purity. ’ way, so anyways yeah Quality Time and Acts Of Service.

Quality Time- Jaaon can barely pry himself from your presence at times, and yet he does. Though every moment he’s away from you feels sardonic, like that viscous black ooze that he’s named ‘hate’ is getting bigger. Once he even gets a moment of your time his mind melts. He slowly allows himself to indulge in your presence, but in the most unhealthy way possible. Jason tried to keep himself away, he really did, but he always found his feet dragging to you.

Maybe its the little sacrificial lamb in him, the yearn for a greater good in his destruction. Thats what he believe he was conditioned to be, ’The Greater Good.’ Batman cleaned him from the dirt-stricken filth of Gotham alleyways; Batman would make his coat pure and holy, he learned to achieve that ‘Greater-Good’ when Batman wrapper that rope around his neck and lead him to that devil, or saint, he couldn’t tell the two apart sometimes. They both look the same as his depraved reflection.

When his red branded rebirth came he couldn’t help himself trotting to you like the holy little lamb he was conditioned to be. You, the only compass he had, a sense of direction he couldn’t bear to lose. He sits in your presence waiting for his rapture. When not, he’s stuck in a state where can’t tell if he’s more scared of being lost or alone. Jason finds he’s neither when with you, with you he’s stained red but his neck is no longer painfully warm, his body can be mangled, his mind can be mortal. He always trots back to you, because it is the first place he is welcomed to with open arms, yes, you are the warm light of the heavens he was conditioned to bask in. The personification where the death of his self is meant to be.

Acts Of Service - I believe this side of him comes more when its towards the part of the relationship where he’s most comfortable! He’ll run errands, do your dishes, maybe if the guilt of getting your floor a little bloodied gets to him he’ll pay your rent. It takes him awhile to loosen up and stop acting like a house maid. He still does everything he can for you but in an mundane way, like a little routine. (like a little wife omg chat i love him)

Whenever he slips through that window he takes armor off and sets them down on your floor. He’ll walk over to where you sit and kiss you on the cheek, whispering in your ear on how he ordered take out. He’ll come back to you with clean clothes and washed hair, sitting close to you, yet not closer if not allowed.

He’s much like a Saint Bernard now, for he always finds his way back to your side. A gentle giant, neither of you can keep yourselves away from each other; tenderly caring for each others needs. With you, he gave up on his divided sense of pride, his fundamentals and foundations that gave his name meaning were reckoned meaningless, he gave it up and swallowed the bitter pill of which he found the unsatisfactory taste of forgiveness; and with that pill he allowed himself to grieve.

He’s much like a Saint Bernard now, he can guide people to the place they believe to be heavens for their sake of peace. He holds someone in his arms the way they need to be held, he says those things that make someone think, leading them back to the path they left. But most of all he always comes running back to you.

sorry chat this is so bitter sweet i love his self destructive mentality that would take him decades to weed out.

[siringadev]

I was thinking about why I love Nero so much, and I realized that there is not only something so magnetic and unique about him and his design, but how the core of his whole personality is built on a deep love for Weiss, despite the fact that he is an antihero and does not very good things (first under orders from Shinra, since he is a Deepground soldier, and then out of duress, to summon Omega = to revive Weiss), but all this is out of desperation and love. I do not know any other character inside the FF7 world and beyond, who is so motivated to act out of love as Nero. Even take other iconic pairs of loving brothers (because it is brother's love that is depicted as the strongest in JP games and anime), their motivations were different, and love was secondary.

Take Itachi and Sasuke, for example.

Itachi is stated to have a very strong love for Sasuke, but what he does ultimately causes Sasuke great pain. Yes, Itachi wanted to save him, but at what cost? And his main motive was: to prevent a world war. So, at the cost of his clan's life and Sasuke's mental health, he does something terrible, and I still can't accept it as an act of love. It seems such an unhealthy, twisted form of love, illogical and scary.

And yet, I cried watching those scenes where Itachi reveals the truth, where Sasuke cries, everything is built to squeeze out tears.

Next, Madara and Izuna.

It is stated that he loved Izuna, and loved him even more than Itachi loves Sasuke. And how is this shown and proven? Well, it seems like almost nothing. Madara's main motivation is to become the strongest shinobi, to take control of the world and establish his own order, and thereby establish peace through strict control and then through magical illusions when he became disillusioned with contradictory and rebellious human nature. I understand his motivations, and he is one of the most admired character in Naruto. But what does love have to do with it? Izuna is not even present in his motivation. He simply died and caused Madara's grief, making him cruel and aggressive. And also gave him his eyes. But what besides this?

As for the others, like Lothric-Lorian from Dark souls, their connection was forced by the curse, and their motivation is simply to disobey their superiors. Their essence is nihilism and fatalism. Love is just an accompanying quality.

Not to mention Miquella, who did not show love as a personal emotion, although it seems he should embody universal love. We just can't see his love for Radahn or Godwyn or anyone to the point that we start to wonder if there was love at all? Or if there was love but it wasn't shown? So he is out of the love list.

If we talk about the love of Sephiroth, Cloud and other characters of FF7, they are so far from ultimate love that it does not even occur to me what can be said. Probably, Sephiroth wanted to love, but could not find anyone, suffering from loneliness and his own inability to build healthy relationships, and Cloud had many friends whom he valued, but never found "the one and only", whom he would love completely and unconditionally (which is why ship-wars still rage). It seems that Sephiroth could have become that one and only, considering how much Cloud idolized him, but Sephiroth ruined everything. Yes, Shinra is to blame for this, but partly it is Sephiroth's character, his selfishness and inability to put someone else's feelings above his own. Considering that Nero and Weiss grew up in much worse conditions than Sephiroth, and suffered abuse and pain from Shinra that Sephiroth did not experienced, yet somehow they were able to form the strongest bonds of love with each other and the healthiest relationships with each other (not toxic, not abusive, but built on loyalty, devotion, trust, unity and intimacy).

Sephiroth was so unlucky in love that even his own clones wanted to leave him in the DFFOO, and Weiss even laughed at this, telling Sephiroth that his puppet (Kadaj) cut his strings. And Kadaj, embodying young Sephiroth personality, longed for a family and to find someone who understood and cared for him, and he saw this in the illusionary form of Jenova. Sephiroth could have given him this care and love, but he simply used him as a tool, which hurt Kadaj. As for Weiss, he remembers Nero as the only one who understands him and cares for him, someone without whom he feels incomplete.

"Without Nero, there is no me" - this shows Weiss and Nero's relationship from Weiss' perspective. In DoC, we see their love from Nero's perspective and might have doubted about the reciprocity, but DFFOO shows that Weiss loves Nero as much as Nero loves Weiss.

Each case is unique, and each deserves its own respect and admiration. I simply analyzed one aspect, like love in a character, and came to the conclusion that Nero may be the strongest embodiment of this love at the moment.

[writingforatwistedworld]

Hi, could please i request an Entering your world for Sebek? I really love reading your fics!

Thanks in advance

A Sebek a day keeps the ear doctor away.

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationship, violence, blood, implied death, religion

Entering your world

What is this nonsense? WHERE IS WAKA-SAMA??!

When Sebek suddenly lost his balance whilst trying to levetate higher than usual, Crowley being present, he didn’t expect to come by in a completely different place

Much less did he expect a person sleeping in that place, their posture telling him that they fell asleep whilst doing who-knows-what on their phone

Not lie it mattered after all they are just a normal hu… is that the Overseer?

And thus, the great screaming commenced

Safe to say that he gave you a heart attack

And who wouldn’t be frightened out of their mind if they woke up to a stranger kneeling in front of them, screming how honored they felt to be in your presence?

I would recommend getting earplugs the next time you go shopping

But now you have him here, in all his screaming glory

Since then you have a servant at home

No joke, Sebek can’t go out and make money since there is just nothing he could give a hiring place to identify himself but his tea is pretty good

So instead he keeps your home in pristine condition

That little bit of dust? Oblitirated. That small stain on the window? Cleaned into submission. That one person breaking in whilst you were out? Crushed into dust

He does all of this with such enthusiasm and concentration that you might as well think that he is fighting for his life

But it’s not realy a suprise considering how he is towards Malleus

Although, you had thought that he was lettting Malleus have at least some free time

Is it normal for him to stand guard in front of your door when you are sleeping?

And what is with him always taking care of you as if you were an old person too tired to move a finger?

Not in a bad way of course. But at least making your own food should be alrigh now and the, right?

Well nope becasue the second he sees you in front of the stove he is screeching and then asking for your forgiveness for being so inattentive

There is a much sadder side to this though

Whenever Sebek feels like he didn't do something right he will correct himself, you are his God after all

But that is only what you know of

Even if it's something minor like accidentally missing a spot whilst washing dishes he will punish himself for that

Whether that is mentally, him telling himself that he is not worthy of being close to you, or physically, which I won't describe

And there is also him witnessing someone being “rude” (or rather what he understands under that term, we all have seen him and his devotion to Malleus) to you

All I can say is, it's probably at this point a very good thing that he is doing all the household chores because I wouldn't want to wash a former white shirt, now white

Him not exactly what we would call “doing good stuff” is of course also something that has it's marks on his mental state

But I guess what did we expect? He was raised for a good chunk of his childhood by Lilia and that man is a completely different beast in it's own

Just don't be too surprised when you wake up one night and catch him staring down at you, muttering something you don't understand to himself

[mightymizora]

What's your take on Ketheric's evilness? When I rank my Chosen on the shitty people ladder, I put Ketheric at the top.

Man I joke a lot about how I could fix Ketheric but yeah he's pretty terrible. I don't know if he quite beats Gortash for me for scale though. The wrap sheet for Gort is truly so heinous.

(Also worth noting that when I say "Orin didn't do anything wrong" I obviously don't mean that but I DO mean that I have a lot of sympathy for Orin because she beyond any of the others had basically no chance to turn out differently. She was conditioned to the point of actual madness. But anyway this isn't about Orin.)

The thing that gets me about Ketheric is the fact he weighs up what he does constantly and still does it. And unlike Gortash and Orin, it's not like he came from horror. He was a normal guy with a wife and kids (side note I still don't understand the Thorm family. I landed on Malus being his uncle, Gerringothe being a sister, and Thisobald being a bastard child born after Melodia died.) But grief just kept pushing him down and further into abject nihilism. I think that's where my sympathy with him does come in.

Ketheric just has this apathy to anything that isn't Isobel. He just put all the love and light of his whole world onto one person and that's so unhealthy and fucked up! I think that made her a target for Shar, who is always looking for ways to fell important Selunites. He thought it was Aylin's attention (and it might have been, partly) but I think Shar saw the opportunity in his obsession more than in the risk of their relationship. Even if it hadn't been though, how can one woman shoulder that much unhealthy devotion? It's not good parenting, it's not healthy, it's not right. But when he lost his wife, his only joy became her, and when he lost her he would do anything to assuage that grief. I think when you've experienced similar loss, he does become quite sympathetic there.

I think I understand why people follow Shar, from that reasoning. Shar isn't just evil, she is a nothing, she is emptiness, and when you are in the deepest throws of grief there is nothing you long for more than those tiny moments, for example when you first wake before your mind recalls, where you feel nothing.

It just feels like he carved away his humanity to starve off grief as much as he could like a man literally cutting off his own flesh to feed a rabid dog. He let EVERYTHING become a victim of his grief. And then he finally meets somebody who says to him hey, you don't have to do this, where EVERYBODY else has been enabling him for their own designs. He's the great general that Shar wants to use, that the Myrkulites want to use, that Gortash and The Dark Urge want to use and he is completely malleable to those needs. Which is a chilling kind of evil, really. He lets evil seep into him like a poison until it is too late.

[anime-addictt]

Enneagram 3

Need: To be the best in whatever they do. And make it a huge part of their personality.

Belongs to: The assertive heart triad, who's brilliant, societal-conscious, and capable of playing a story that everyone around them would like.

Threes are great personality types to be around. They are motivated, extremely productive and conscious about the environment they live in. And the work they do is IMMACULATE. They want to be that person people who talk about. They love the spotlight, and understand the obstacles one must face to maintain it.

But underneath this vanity, is a super insecure child. Threes are taught that love is conditional; it can only be earned if you have what the world desires. This is completely different from 2s, as they tend to "give" to get love.

Which is why 3s work hard at their desired game - be it finances, beauty, or politics - the three would always try to have a upper hand. Because looking good, and being something everyone will love is more important than self. Unhealthy 3s have the tendency to look down on those who aren't particularly ambitious, create positions to make themselves look good, and put people down to make them look worse.

3s, along with 6s and 9s are completely detached from their self. They struggle to introspect and reflect on their actions, due to suppressing their intelligent centers.

Wings:

3w2: The more prideful 3s. They try to meet the expectations that people have set for them, and expect people to applaud them for their success. They care about being seen and loved, more than being the best. A lot of them do tend of have pick me energies.

3w4: The envious 3. They want to be seen as the best. They care less about being wanted because their vanity lies more in their success. They are also the type to have one specific area that they'd want to succeed in, and will be anything to be good at that.

Subtypes:

Sp: The type that wants to be good at things, for the fear that they'd lose things around them. Now, this would make them sound a lot like 6s or 1s, however their vanity over their successes is evident, no matter how much they try to hide it. Another interesting quality of this subtype is that they tend to have vanity in no vanity. Which means they'd like to downplay their successes a lot of times, just to fit in with the "successful bunch" or with people in general.

eg: Miyuki Shirogane

He takes pride in being the school president. In fact, for someone who comes from a low-income background, the distinction of being the school president acts as a protective blanket against Kaguya, and the rest of the school. He became the school president in the hopes to get noticed by the people he wants the attention from (Kaguya, his mother). The status of being the best is school is a safety blanket, and nothing more.

Sx: They don't tend to talk a lot of themselves. This type wants to earn love and appreciation by making the person bonded to them successful. Their entire personality becomes about their prized possession succeeding, since they assume that their "success" is its own.

eg: Ai Hoshino

Ai's need to find a love where she would be accepted is the motivating factor behind her being successful. She begins by thinking that this would be attained through her career as an idol. Someone's dissatisfied with her performance ? Not a problem. She works on it and perfects it. So much to the point that she starts to believe that her fan's love for her is what she has always wanted.

But then, she ends up having the twins. Which completely changed the way she viewed love. Ai started pouring her everything into her kids, albeit having a successful career as an idol, and a new career in the field of acting. And finally, towards the end of her life, we get to see the satisfaction. The happiness and the pride she received by devoting a part of her life for her children. How eventually their success sounded even more beautiful to her. Her entire life revolved around making others feel like they made her a success story.

So: Your typical 3. They want to be seen as successful. To them, a lot times, the fame that comes from success is more important than the success itself. They firmly believe that being seen as successful by others makes them a success. That they're finally worth of the applause, and love they receive from the rest of the world.

Eg: Oikawa Tooru

His entire self-image is around his ability to play volleyball. He felt great about his skill, and truly thought he was amazing...till Kageyama showed him the difference between talent and hardwork. Despite working his hardest, and doing his best...Oikawa just couldn't accept that there was someone better than him.

He considered it to be an insult to win matches by going to Shiratorizawa, because he would be shadowed by Ushikawa. You can see how image oriented he is throughout his interactions with Kageyama and Ushijima.

[bacchanal-if]

I've been thinking about possible reactions my characters could have to the engagement, and here's what I've come up with:

Outwardly calm, because the arranged marriage was expected, but the moment they're behind closed doors, they immediately brainstorm a plan to have it canceled. Failing that, they'd want to negotiate the conditions of their marriage on their own terms, using the shrewd business acumen they've picked up as the scion of a merchant family. They've witnessed their sibling's unhappy marriage and have no intention to follow suit, and deeply suspects her intended's intentions

Youngest daughter with relative freedom and privilege equals full on tantrum. "Do not go gentle into that good night"--- hunger strike, silent treatment, broken vases, burning the family rose garden... all that and more, if she doesn't get her way. She will be married in a straitjacket, if she is to be married at all, so her betrothed had better kiss any dreams of domestic bliss goodbye. Although she presents herself as a spoilt little princess, she is well acquainted with her so-called beloved's ruthlessness, and considers the engagement as an underhanded tactic to coerce a marriage

Anxious, but secretly hopeful that a true love match could come from this. For better or for worse, his mother's utter devotion to his father has left him with a pervasive desire for genuine connection and shaped his view of love as the purest form of being, and thus, something to be earned. Sensitive and perceptive, he is acutely aware of his inexperience on matters of the heart, and guards his feelings closely. As a noble, he is no stranger to pretty words and shiny baubles, so he is difficult to impress

Three very different characters, each with their own motivations! I find them all very interesting, and they're a bit of a fight to romance in their own ways. As much as I love E as a character, I never said I'd make it easy >:) My hope is that these characters will push them to grow as well (off-screen, on-screen, headcanon). I know I've given you a lot, so no pressure to incorporate these at all in your writing, but I hope this was helpful!

I also find your characters interesting 😍 I particularly love the idea of a MC who picked up a few things from their father.

Unfortunately for the last MC, they canonically know how unhealthy their mother's love for their father is. They've been painfully ignored by her for too long not to 😢

[aggressiveviking]

thank you for the post about mutual abuse. I use it to show people why Johnny Depp didn’t abuse Amber heard by fighting back against her when she would initiate her abuse to him. It’s helped so many people understand men can be victims of abuse in relationships, and that women can lie. And by showing the evidence in court, it brought her down, to better serve real women who’ve been abused, and now men too. Thank you!

I completely agree. And that's not only true for other people being able to acknowledge who the real abuser is but this relates to the abuse victims as well.

As it has been with me and many others, most victims tend to blame themselves for the abuse afflicted on them . Believing that they did something to deserve the way they're treated. That is something that abusers groom into you, because otherwise you will leave them.

This is the reason why abuse victims often end up right back into abusive relationships, one after the other - they are the people that tend to stay and overlook their partners wrong doings; they are usually the biggest defenders of their abusers because they're groomed to believe that they are the ones in the wrong.

When they are pushed far enough to defend themselves or lose their temper - that is used by their abusers to prove how badly they treat their partners.

People wonder why abused people stay in abusive relationships for so long - it's precisely because of these reasons.

You are conditioned to believe that you are the abuser and you keep trying to do better by the person you care about and love. And that's a cycle that repeats. The only way to break the cycle is for the victim to take a stand, but that is so extremely difficult and it takes tremendous courage and strength.

For a victim to even admit to themselves that they are actually a victim - that is the hardest struggle of it, especially if abuse has pushed them into doing things that are generally seen as bad - alcohol abuse, drug abuse, etc. This is what often happens with abuse victims because those are coping mechanisms (unhealthy but still are), ways to forget your pain, dull your guilt and bad feelings - since they are also often associated with a good time, parties and fun.

Desperate people would do anything for even a second of peace, something to make them feel safe and not so helpless. It's also why most abuse victims become violent towards others as well. The only way to feel safe is to make others afraid so they won't mess with you, to leave you alone.

Hurt people, hurt other people.

All of these make outside observers believe that a victim is an abuser, because real abusers look like completely regular people, and can even often be very likable socially.

The "Mutual Abuse" bullshit starts with the abuser telling that to their victim. And people who are lucky enough not to be familiar with abuse patterns would try to find logical reasons behind certain behaviours, but they don't know or understand the motivations behind the behaviour.

Standing up to your abuser, and leaving, is one of the hardest things a person can face because more often than not abuse victims are alone. They don't have people to turn to, who could understand and support them. their friends or family would have been alienated from them by their abusers and their own deterioration of health, bad coping mechanisms, defence and devotion toward their abuser. Their behaviour would push people away, so that the only person they have left is their abuser, and that is by design. An abuser would do everything in their power to trap and prevent their victims from leaving them. They would gaslight, isolate, alienate, make you in some way dependable on them (through money most often) until you are completely convinced that you need them in your life, that you will not be able to survive without them, that they are the only people that care about you.

This is why the idea about "Mutual Abuse" is very dangerous.

[queer-polyam-emperor-penguin]

I love being in healthy relationships and then having fb memories remind me what life was like when in a really abusive relationship. It completely knocks my life perspective.

Because 2yrs ago today according to fb I went to Mt Tamborine and my ex gf said something cute in the comments... but at the time every notification from her caused an anxiety spike and her calling me a 'good boy' felt more like a warning than affection.

More like 'stay in line' than 'I love you, thank you'.

My boyfriend messaged me 'good boy' after I took my meds today and it actually felt like 'thank you for taking care of yourself and letting me know you've had them'.

And the difference between healthy loving relationship dynamics after years of not being loved and respected in a healthy way... is heartbreaking that it was so bad.

Like I should not be surprised to have someone look after me.

And there is a part of me that has started to just crash and enjoy the affection because I want to soak it all in scared I'll lose it again, because of how that's happened in the past and I just have been taking a while to recover from all the burnout of past relationships while learning what it actually feels like to be loved and cared for because it feels new still.

Like we've been together for a year and I genuinely thought eventually the affection and love would stop because that's my experience with unhealthy dynamics... and the fact it hasn't and isn't going anywhere and isn't conditional has let me drop my guard in a whole new way.

I'm not afraid he's going to hate me or make it hard for me to leave if I ever felt disrespected enough to do so. But I also don't feel like he's going to leave me for being human and having emotions.

I am never afraid he's going to disrespect or hurt me, he speaks so highly of me to my loved ones and his and I honestly have never felt so respected and wanted and appreciated.

To the point it knocks me back when I realise he's talking about me like that when I'm not paying attention to his conversations because I am so used to being insulted or joked about behind my back.

He loves me so fully that I am crying over it while baking onion rings and I can't even blame the onions 😂

I'm kinda in awe of the love and respect and kindness and how much he heals my heart and soul.

I no longer live in fear of my phone.

I don't dread phone calls.

I don't feel consistent anxiety of being yelled at or called names.

Like that shit was too normal for my whole life that it didn't feel weird until we were together a while and I realised he'd never done that.

My biggest frustration, time, no longer feels like as much of a problem because it is never out of disrespect or a lack of love. He's always trying and is a devoted and caring, committed partner.

I'm the one who has to watch my bad habits because I'm still learning that it's never malicious coming from him and that's so new to me and while I like to assume the best, I'm used to it being the worst.

But for the first time in my life, I don't find myself googling warning signs of DV and questioning how far will they go knowing the answer and dreading it …

I just never had to this time. I'm not questioning if he secretly hates me constantly, after arguments I'm given reassurance.

Our disagreements are usually because he doesn't understand something that stresses me out or me being terrified of something becoming a problem and him there like 'how tf did these people turn this into such a massive fear for you?'.

And I'm in such awe of this man and how calm and genuine and loving he is.

I love him so so much. And I'm just a sappy af mess today.

[junow-honours]

Oral Presentation Feedback:

Trying to remember everything..

Unfortunately when under the pressure of orals I didn’t do the best job of answering these questions, so I thought about it further and am writing my responses here

Gender roles- Stereotypes: Reason for archetypes being all male, and the Watcher representing the ‘Father’?

I think it was Noel who asked this? Thank you 👍 I made the decision last year to address specifically ‘male’ archetypes and stereotypes. At the time I was interested in fan bases surrounding male idols, specifically within anime or K-pop because the fan bases are massive and often involved in a lot controversy and toxic behaviours (otherwise being an impressively dedicated type of fanbase.) I also was very interested in Greek myth depictions of the problematic male hero, reminding me of my other interest in film noir ‘anti-heroes’. Then I was interested in men being the dominant gender present in gore media and crime, as both the perpetrators, victims, and watchers. Also interested in male serial killers, and why people tend to romanticise and create fan bases for them.

I am interested in this dynamic between the ‘male idol’ and the ‘female fan’. It is more accepted for females to express their adoration and obsession for male celebrities and idols, it is seen as ‘cute’ and is a stereotypical behaviour for young girls. On the other hand, it isn’t as accepted for men to express their adoration and obsession for female idols- it may come across as predatory or unhealthy- I’m guessing that pornography and the male gaze plays a large role in this.

Within this, I am interested in the Japanese archetype ‘yandere’, which describes a fan whose love, admiration, and devotion is so strong that it is expressed as an excessive obsession and possessiveness. How are the male and female versions of the ‘yandere’ different, and why is it more accepted for one gender?

Conventional attractiveness and unattractiveness playing a role in this. If a serial killer or criminal is conventionally attractive then they are more likely to be deemed as innocent. If an obsessive fan is unattractive then they are labelled as predatory, if they are attractive then they are no longer predatory. Violent and predatory behaviour being ignored in favour of attraction, women being naturally attracted to men with personality traits in the Dark Triad. Good boy vs Bad boy trope.

Without any explicit intention of being controversial, I wanted to utilise stereotypes of men to discuss my field of enquiry. Also, in a way, by viewing certain things through a ‘masculine’ lense (stereotypically logically and ‘without emotion’). The stereotypes of men cover the many aspects of the human condition that I am interested in; violence, desire/ lust, war, anti-hero, anger etc.. Also referring to the idea of ‘men’ encompassing all of humanity, my characters are men but the personalities/ ideals they represent can be applied to anyone.

As for the ‘father figure’ of the Watcher, I was interested in the symbolism of the ‘father’ representing the concept of God and paternal influences. The ‘Father’ as the one inflicting judgment and punishment.

Finally, also interested in the current world’s understanding of ‘masculinity’, and how the notion of masculinity has shifted in our current generation. What are masculine traits, why are some of these traits deemed as oppressive? Why are certain ideologies (liberalism) influencing men to become more feminine?

Is there room for a fourth archetypal character encompassing the idea of ‘Enchantment’?

Thank you Glen, surprisingly this is something I hadn’t even thought about so I’m glad it was brought up. This needs more thought but I can see that a fourth archetype would be necessary. Originally the Victim was supposed to represent this concept in some way, as he was supposed to be the opposite of the Aggressor, so good vs bad. However, after further development of the Victim character I realised that the ideals I wanted him to represent actually weren’t morally ‘good’ or ‘enchanting’. Will think about this more, most definitely.

This statement did remind me however, that I am entirely convinced that there needs to be more realms, ones that aren’t occupied by either god. The roles of my realms have gradually changed from what they were initially supposed to represent. Initially the Overworld was supposed to represent some sort of Utopia, which could be tied to my idea of ‘Enchantment’. However, over the year I have developed these realms further and Glen’s comment made me aware that any sign of ‘Enchantment’ was no longer evident. The Overworld now represents the manifestation of artificial perfection, instant gratification, and the concept of “grass not always being greener on the other side”. The grass is greener in the Overworld, but it is because the grass is plastic.

[the-l-spacer]

One thing I find interesting about how arcane handles jinx and silco is that there’s never any doubt that he loves her. Like, typically with villain parent figures it’s always left ambiguous whether the villain actually loves the kid, or whether their affection is conditional (it’s usually the latter). And yes, silco isn’t like. A good parent. He 100% projects his own issues on jinx and encourages her unhealthy coping mechanisms which in the end drove her further away from her sister. There’s definitely a part of him that wants to keep her around because she validates his ‘everyone in the world is against me’ worldview. But he also constantly covers for her ass when she messes up MULTIPLE times, finds ways to help her even after she put his operation in danger, even though everyone is telling him to drop her. He saves her life and refuses to betray her, not even to achieve the dream he’d had for so many years. At the end, he tells her he never would have given her up, and at first there was a part of me thinking ‘he might be lying to make her feel guilty’ but nope, there’s literally no reason he’d do that. he’s demonstrated throughout the series that he’d choose jinx even to his own detriment. He’s an awful father who’s completely and wholeheartedly devoted to his kid.

Did I say interesting? I meant thinking about them makes me want to chomp on drywall. Fuck.

[nohoney]

Hi hi! I love your Us series so much! It’s been a while since I came across it and I remembered how much I love it! 💕

2 questions I wanna ask about something’s I’m wondering about and your take on them.

Do you think there will come a time where MC comes to their senses and decides to leave? It doesn’t seem realistic for the series because they are so rooted there, I think it would be extremely hard to leave. They don’t treat them bad but they’re also not healthy for them.

What would happen or more like what would Keigo and Touya do if MC ever decides to leave?

Anyway, thank you for updating and taking the time to write. I really appreciate it 💕

Aw I’m glad you love it, it always gets me all flustered when the us series get appreciation 😖

So to answer...

1. the reader definitely has the sense in her that what she’s in is not exactly something completely ‘healthy’ and she knows when she’s in a particular situation it’s because of touya but then Keigo kinda swoops in to cover everything up until everything feels like it’s calmed down. as much as Touya is the source of her love & devotion, he is definitely the main stressor sometimes when she worries more about his reaction to things rather than her own well-being. And touya knows that he can only do so much to make her stay so having Keigo around offsets the chances of her leaving since he’s more sensitive & gentle with the reader. I think the chances of the reader leaving are very very low...

2. But on the off chance she reaches that small fraction where she does try to put her foot down to leave... i think we all know there’d probably be no way for the boys to accept the reader leaving. She hopes it could go down a peaceful way. So maybe... an honest face to face break up?

Scenario below the cut!

Warning: drug use/drugging, unhealthy relationship, codependence, manipulation, slight dubcon

You just have to be uncomfortable just for a moment while Keigo goes to fetch drinks from the kitchen. Touya keeps a straight face while you speak across from at the dining table, trying to reassure him that you don’t want to part on bad terms and that you just need to do what’s best for yourself, you’re talking about wanting to find your independence again and needing to figure things out on your own and all that stupid crap. Words of conviction that neither of them are going to accept from you, that you don’t know what you’re talking about and you need them.

They could tell immediately when you had started to try to pull away, could see that glazed off look in your eye as your mind wanders. Your smiles more reluctant, your affection waning, that sad look you had looking off into the distance, they thought it was depression at first. Keigo counts himself fortunate to have found you sitting with a friend a week ago on the patio dining of a restaurant, hiding himself just in time before you or your companion could see him. He had leaned in a little closer and his heart broke upon hearing you tell your friend, “I think I need to get away from them... Dabi and Keigo.”

Oh how Touya threw a fit when Keigo reported back to him, having the good sense to take him to an abandoned lot to tell him what he heard. Touya yelled, saying that he’s giving you everything he could give and you have the audacity, the motherfuckin’ audacity to think you could leave. His sanity is all on you and you leaving would make him lose his fucking mind. But Keigo was calm, he hushed Touya who damn near breaks down and is about to punch through the window of his car and tells him that he’s got it figured out.

“She’s ours, she just needs to be reminded.”

Your tolerance had gotten better with what you’re willing to take but that doesn’t mean that being careful is thrown out the window.

You’re banned from mixing ever since that first party where you locked yourself in a room with half a gram of coke and an ecstasy tablet, but Keigo is careful with you because he cares about you, he loves you. Just a sprinkle, like a pinch of salt, added to your drink and Keigo gives you a little extra pour of sweet syrup in your drink.

Ketamine which makes you trip and MDMA which makes you roll, and a trip plus a roll makes a flip. Your first flip ever was molly and coke and you don’t even know that you’re about to get your second; you’re about to have your first kitty flip.

Touya could have been mean and just gave you rohypnol but as angry as he was at you for wanting to break up, he still wanted you to feel good.

You finish half the drink when your eyes get the tranced over look and your voice drifts off, Touya reaching for your cup so that you don’t drink anymore. He drinks from his own cup, just the virgin version of what Keigo served you and he asks, “What were you talking about doll?”

“I uh... I don’t know what I...” you sway a little in your seat and you try to recall what was the subject you were speaking of a few minutes ago. “Touya... I don’t...”

They wait patiently as you struggle for your words.

And Keigo knows exactly what to do, gently cupping your cheek to direct you to look at him. You’re a helpless little doe at this moment and out there are the wolves wanting to feast on you, but not them, not Keigo or Touya... they’re not your predators.

They’re your protector.

“Pretty dove, do you love us?” Keigo asks you, watching carefully how you try to process his question.

“C-Course I do... never said tha’ I stopped, I just’ want...” you slur out as you reach one hand out to touch his cheek, trying to make sure he’s real. He wonders what you’re seeing right now and how he looks in your eyes. “Can I lie down?”

You collapse in Keigo’s arms, whining about some dress you should have bought at a boutique you visited not too long ago and then you stare at your own hands when Keigo lays you down on the floor, though you don’t bother to describe what exactly you’re seeing as you stare into your palms.

And Touya kisses you tenderly, just barely skims the tips of his fingers over your arm and you purr in pleasure. Unlike your first hallucinogenic trip which left you in an extremely anxious state, you seem to be perfectly balanced this time. Keigo is grateful that he mixed the right amount and you consumed not too much and not too little. You crawl to different areas of the room, muttering to yourself and can barely keep a conversation with either of the boys while they keep watch. But it’s not necessary for any conversation to be had, there’s no need for any talking because there’s nothing to talk about.

You ask for kisses, you ask to be touched, you ask if you’re loved, all requests that they’re willing to fulfill but on one condition: “You gonna stay with us (Name)?”

“Y-yeah, wanna stay with... be with ya, just c’mere... ‘M lonely.”

“Oh now you’re lonely? What happened to all that independent talk?”

“I don’t... Not s-sure, jus’ come here now.”

Needy little moans fall from your lips as they touch you, kisses to your neck and further down, despite your glazed eyes your fingers reach for one of the boys’ belts but they stop you. “You’re not getting fucked baby.”

“I want it!” You whine, almost ready to throw a tantrum but all it takes is just a hand in your hair, grabbing at the roots and slowly it clenches into a fist and tugs at the roots. A pleasant pull that makes your eyes roll to the back of your head and your back arches. Just a little hair pull and you’re so compliant. Your reaction is tempting but they know better than to fuck you when you won’t remember it the next day.

They would never.

All they want is for you to stay right where you are.

And you wake the next day in between Touya and Keigo, recognizing the symptoms of a come down but with no memory of the day before and you know that your memory loss has something to do with them. “What happened?”

Your body is exhausted, your brain is fried, you remember sitting down with the boys yesterday and talking about breaking up and then... nothing.

When you try to get out the bed, Touya’s hand reaches out to grab your arm and you’re pulled back down on the bed. He’s awake and making you lie back with them, his hand gentle as the pad of his thumb strokes your cheek so lovingly. Keigo nuzzles right next to you, a soft mumble of, “Stay baby bird...”

“You guys... what did you give-” you start to speak but Touya cuts you off.

“If it were anyone else, you probably would have woken up behind a dumpster ya know.”

Be grateful to us, we treat you better than anyone ever could.

You should be angry at them, furious that they’d violate your trust and lace your drink or food with whatever they gave you, that they gave you the ultimate reason to leave because if you love someone you don’t fucking drug them. And yet you know that whatever they gave you yesterday is a warning, probably the kindest warning you’ll ever get from them.

“Still love us?”

You play it over in your mind, that any other person probably would have taken advantage of your vulnerability but not them. Not Touya and Keigo who love you most ardently and have always looked out for you no matter what. There’s no talks of breaking up, there will be no talks of breaking up, they know you’re smart enough to understand the meaning behind their actions.

So you accept the cage they’ve put you in.

“Yeah... I love you.”

“We love you too.”

[bluerose5]

Bonded

[AO3 Link Right Here.]

[The ring idea at the end was inspired by this lovely post by @ask-symbrock . Go show them some love!]

Fandom: Venom (Marvel Movies)

Rating: Mature 

Word Count: 2,910

Relationships: Eddie Brock/Venom Symbiote

Additional Tags: Romance, Established Relationship, Fluff, Dark, Complicated Relationships, Unhealthy Relationships, mostly because of some dependency issues, with these two? go figure!, Post-Canon, Bickering, Possessive Behavior, Marriage Proposal, Some Comic Elements, Some Movie Elements, Pet Names, Drinking, Light Bondage, Mild Sexual Content, V has some bad thoughts in the beginning, but doesn't act on them don't worry, Insecurity, Praise Kink

Safe to say, Eddie hasn’t had many long-lasting relationships, and any relationship that did become serious typically ended up falling apart.

His Other was aware of this, more than they would like to be. His erratic behavior sometimes unnerved even them. Not for the same reasons that any rational human would have, but because they were afraid deep-down that Eddie would one day make them leave again, plain and simple.

Next time, it might be for good.

Part of them was filled with a gnawing ache. A worry that always lingered in the back of their mind, feeding on their insecurities.

More than once, they thought about doing something stupid and impulsive to make Eddie stay with them forever. It would be so easy. All they had to do was make him think that he has some form of a rare, life-threatening illness, kept only at bay by the symbiote's presence.

Or perhaps they could condition him to rely on them through physiological means. It would require a deft touch to maintain the dependency while keeping his personality intact, but it was possible. They would have to tap into the body’s nervous and endocrine systems. Gaining access to Eddie’s neurotransmitters and hormones could unlock a whole network of potential.

But his Other found out quickly that such methods were out of the question.

Eddie trusted them too deeply. Despite all of the drama and turmoil that they’ve put each other through, he trusted Venom with his life.

There had to be another way to keep Eddie by their side then, a way that also showed Eddie how much he meant to them.

In the chapel, Eddie acknowledged that they were a match, reminding his Other of that at a crucial moment that turned the tide.

While Eddie was nursing his second drink in a quiet, secluded bar, watching humans kick a ball around on TV, Venom was busy thinking about what this all meant for their future.

They thought about Anne and Eddie’s engagement, which in turn led to the symbiote thinking about Anne and Dan. While the former crashed and burned after their breakup, the latter somehow thrived. The symbiote tried to examine it from an outside perspective, to look at it through a lens not clouded by Eddie’s biases.

Anne said that Dan made her feel safe. Whereas with Eddie, she felt like she was constantly on a rollercoaster.

With Dan, Anne was happy, loved, committed.

Likewise, Eddie made his Other feel safe.

Because, no matter what kinds of trials and tribulations they had to go through, they always found their way back to each other.

V was glad that, if nothing else, Anne and Dan were willing to remain friends with both Eddie and them in the end. They made Eddie happy. They gave him a sense of stability and normalcy, and his Other was grateful for that.

Eddie’s happiness made Venom happy. They could only hope that the reverse was true.

Dan once said that they needed ‘couple’s counseling,’ but was that how others truly viewed them? As a couple? Was that how Venom viewed themselves?

Human relationships were so confusing.

Even sociopaths like Cletus and Frances got to live out their tragic, twisted, little love stories, all the way to the end.

After all those years apart, even they wanted to prove their devotion to each other through marriage.

A bond that transcended time.

Of course, they knew all about separations and divorce, but it was the intention within the act itself that Venom was enticed by.

Finally, they came to a conclusion.

They knew what they wanted.

As their host was taking a swig of his drink, his Other’s voice boomed loud in his mind.

Eddie!

His human jolted, beer sloshing all over the place in response. As he set the drink down on the bar, Eddie coughed when he felt that mouthful of beer slide down the wrong pipe. Beating against his chest with his fist, he waved off the bartender’s concerned glance.

“Wha—”

He didn’t even get a chance to get the word out before V continued.

Let’s get married!

“Excuse me?!” Eddie asked, his voice rising in pitch.

“Sir, can I help you?” the bartender questioned, regarding him with a wary glance.

Eddie smiled at them sheepishly.

“I, uh— Yeah! Do you mind getting me another?” Eddie asked, gesturing to his drink, which was still clearly more than half-full. “I have a feeling that I’m gonna need it.”

With a shrug, they did as he asked, probably welcoming an excuse to get away from the freak that was acting weird and talking to himself all of a sudden.

In their defense, they were pretty laidback about the whole ordeal. They simply set his beer down in front of him and returned to the opposite end of the bar, where they struck up a conversation with one of their other customers.

Eddie wrapped his hands around the glass he’s been working on, brushing his fingertips through the condensation pooling on its sides.

“Did I hear you right, V?” Eddie mumbled into his glass. He stared down into the amber-colored fluid, watching it shift as he idly swirled it around. “You want to get married?"

No need to sound so skeptical!  Venom growled defensively, bristling beneath his skin.  Is it so hard to believe that I would actually want to? That I would want you to actually commit to someone else in this relationship beyond yourself?

Eddie blinked owlishly at that.

“Okay, first, ow.” He put his hand over his heart, feigning injury from their words. “Shots fired. You must have picked that one up from Anne.”

I do not appreciate your attempts to deflect with humor, Eddie.

But Eddie continued, as if he had never been interrupted in the first place.

“Secondly, I’m not judging you for wanting to get married, okay?” Sensing that they weren’t satisfied with that answer, Eddie’s voice gentled. “Sweetheart, listen—” Now, that wasn’t fair. Any time Eddie used terms of endearment, his Other instantly melted inside him. The second Eddie felt their heart race, he smiled, warm and —dare Venom say— loving. “I was just caught off guard by your whole proposal. Up until recently, all that you seemed to be worried about was getting Anne back. Now, you want to marry me?”

Venom hummed in contemplation.

Anne makes you happy. Back then, she made you happy in a different way compared to now, which is why I was on board with rekindling things with her. Now, you are content with how the two of you left things.

“So, what?” Eddie asked, trying his best to wrap his head around everything. “You only wanted to be with Anne to make me happy?”

In a sense, but I like Anne, too!  They didn’t want to be misunderstood. For a human, she really was amazing. Then, they recalled reading something on the internet, an article about people who didn’t limit themselves as much as others in regards to love and passion.  Perhaps she and Dan can both marry us as well!

“Whoa, whoa, whoa…” Dragging his hands down over his face, Eddie chuckled under his breath, bordering on hysterical. “Slow down there, buddy. While I have a great respect for people who have the patience to take on more than one relationship at a time, Anne doesn’t—” He quickly shook his head, clenching and unclenching his jaw in a rhythmic motion. “You know, she doesn’t seem like the polyamorous type.”

How would you know?  his Other asked in confusion.

“I just do!” Eddie snapped. He didn’t even care that he was attracting more than a few stares at this point. “Alright? So, just—just drop it.”

Have you ever asked her before?  Venom countered, determined to get a straightforward answer from him.

However, when Eddie remained quiet on the matter, his Other sifted through his thoughts and feelings, eventually finding the answer for themselves.

Oh.

“‘Oh,’ what?” Eddie grumbled.

You want me to yourself.

Gaping, Eddie opened his mouth, only to snap it shut before he embarrassed himself even further.

His face warmed, blood rushing to his cheeks.

“And if I do?” Quickly, he realized that there was nothing to be ashamed of in admitting to it, not with his Other around. If nobody else could understand the need to feed that darkness inside himself, then they could. Eddie ducked his head low and whispered to them. “You’re mine, V.”

His symbiote shivered inside him, causing his entire body to tremble in delight, threatening to come undone.

Forever?  they asked, unable to contain the hope simmering inside them. With only a few words, that hope was already threatening to boil over.

“I’ll never let you go,”  they replied, speaking as one.

That promise was more than his Other could have ever asked for, but it brought them back to their original point.

Does this mean that we can get married, Eddie?

Eddie smirked, then shrugged.

“Why the hell not? Although, we’re kinda doing this whole ‘relationship’ thing backwards. You know, considering that we’ve already had a kid and all.”

And ate them!

“Yeah, right…” Eddie trailed off, lips pursed. “Not exactly what most people would consider a healthy approach to parenting.”

Paying his tab, he figured that he had creeped out the locals enough for one night.  

Time to move on to their next haunt.

Once they left the bar, Eddie wandered aimlessly throughout the city, his presence alone a challenge for anyone to try and fuck with them.

Venom shifted inside him, ready to intervene at a moment’s notice.

In our defense, I did not know that I was spawning at the time, and Carnage would have done the same —or worse— to me, had they gotten their way.

Eddie let that sink in, but leave it to him to take the conversation in a very different direction than expected.

“So, when you were pregnant—”

Spawning,  Venom corrected.

“Right, pregnant.”

His Other grumbled.

“Was that why you were acting so aggressive and stir-crazy at the time, or…?” He gestured vaguely.

That absolute dick.

They couldn’t believe what they were hearing right now.

Eddie, I’m going to strangle you.

“What the hell? What did I say?” Eddie yelped, swatting away a stray tendril that was creeping up towards his neck. “You’re kidding, right, babe?”

Silence was his answer.

Eddie nervously squeaked out, “Right, babe?!”

His Other’s head materialized in front of him, stopping Eddie in his tracks. When they snapped their teeth at him, Eddie raised his hands in surrender.

“How dare you?!”  they snarled.  “I was genuinely upset at the time, and now you’re trying to brush it off as  pregnancy hormones?”

“No, no, no…” Eddie quickly shook his head. “Of course not. It was a joke, love. A joke!”

“Liar! You human males,”  Venom sneered.  “Always trying to blame your problems on something other than yourself.”

“Hey!” Eddie couldn’t help but to laugh. “Okay, now I know you and Anne have been hanging out too much.”

“Apologize!”

“Fine,” Eddie huffed, but his smile didn’t falter in the slightest. He grabbed ahold of a tendril and dragged Venom closer. At first, the symbiote resisted, but they let Eddie have his way when he gave another tug. Eddie rested his forehead against theirs. “I’m sorry, love. You’re right. That was insensitive of me to say.”

“Hmph.”

As if that would be enough.

Eddie’s expression turned mischievous.

The symbiote wasn’t the only one would who could access memories between the two.

Eddie decided to take a page out of Anne’s book.

Abruptly, Eddie changed direction and took a sharp turn right into a nearby alley. After making sure the coast was clear, he coaxed the rest of the symbiote out until it formed that familiar frame that towered over him. Their bodies remained intertwined through a web of tendrils, connected at various points.

Eddie moved to press them against the wall, so Venom let him have his fun, maneuvering as he saw fit.

Dark eyes stared up at the symbiote through a hooded gaze, each of them in awe of the other.

“V,” Eddie whispered, toying with the tendrils that clung to his skin. “Let me make it up to you, love.”

His Other narrowed their eyes at him in suspicion.

“How so?”

“Next time we see Anne and Dan, we’ll tie the knot.” Eddie promised. He sank his teeth into his bottom lip as he drank in the sight of Venom from head to toe. He pressed closer, and Venom’s body rippled around and within him. “My big, strong,  gorgeous  symbiote deserves only the best, after all.”

They knew damn well what he was playing at. They saw through his games, yet they were powerless to resist.

“Laying it on kind of thick, aren’t you?”

Eddie flashed them a shameless grin.

Stroking his hands along the outline of their shoulders, he stood up on his tiptoes, pressing his lips to their jaw.

“Is it working?” he breathed, his voice dark and husky. “I mean, imagine it. We can have Dan or Anne officiate. They could buy one of those phony licenses online to get ordained. Although, I doubt that our type of union is gonna be acknowledged by the courts anyways.”

“Fuck ‘em then!”  

Eddie laughed. “Yeah, you got that right. The tax benefits would’ve been nice, though.”

“Eddie,”  Venom huffed,  “we are fugitives on the run. I doubt we will have to worry about paying taxes any time soon.”

“Still, it’s the thought that counts.” At their disgruntled grumbles, Eddie continued to pepper their jaw in soft kisses. “But I’ll let you plan the whole event out however you like. Whatever you want, it’s yours.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“What if I picked out a pretty dress for you?”

“Then I would rock the hell out of that dress.” Eddie winked up at them. “Is that even in question?”

No, not at all.

His Other wrapped tightly around him.

“Eddie.”

“Hm?”

“May I have a kiss, Eddie?”

“Go for it.”

He barely had time to respond before Venom had him suspended on display. Slick, black threads wrapped around his wrists and ankles. Slowly but surely, their mass spread until both of them were encased in a cocoon of writhing tendrils.

His Other closed the distance between them. Their tongue traced along the seam of Eddie’s lips, diving deeper to explore his mouth the second his lips were parted.

As with everything else that Venom did, they threw themselves into the kiss without restraint. It was rough and all-consuming, but Eddie couldn’t imagine having it any other way.

Eyes fluttering shut, Eddie’s eyelashes fanned out across his cheeks. He tried his best to keep up, moaning low in his throat when Venom’s tongue swept across his own.

Mine.

Eddie didn’t know who the thought belonged to.

He honestly didn’t even give a damn.

All he was certain of in that moment was that Venom was his, just as he was theirs.

When they eventually parted to let Eddie breathe, they both whimpered at the loss. Even with those threads of black holding him back, Eddie struggled to cling to the last remnants of their kiss.

“Easy,”  V crooned. They traced a delicate claw down the length of his neck.  “I’m here, my love.”

Nodding, Eddie panted, unable to take his eyes off of his Other for a single second.

“So beautiful,” he praised, feeling their darkness take over his mind. It was exhilarating —breathtaking, even— to be at the mercy of another. “V, if you keep this up, we might need to think about starting our honeymoon a bit early.”

All of a sudden, the symbiote was met with an onslaught of images. Graphic ones, at that.

The fantasies all revolved around Venom and Eddie, not that the Other expected anything else. Their bodies were joined, writhing with pleasure. Their minds merged, bringing Eddie unimaginable ecstasy in ways that only Venom could.

The symbiote thrived off of the promises of such fantasies, but they tried not to let it show, using the signature Eddie Brock tactic of deflecting with humor.

“You’re such a slut, Eddie,”  they teased, but then immediately backtracked, afraid that they had offended him.  “I mean that in an affectionate way, of course!”

“Of course,” Eddie agreed with a snort. “Now, come on, let’s get out of here.”

At his command, Venom started to slowly retract the tendrils until their presence was no longer visible.

Eddie exited the alley and continued on his way at a brisk pace.

Where are we going?

“Hopefully, to a decent motel.”

Venom’s laugh reverberated within the confines of his skull.

Greedy human,  they purred.

For a while, they simply enjoyed the cool breeze flowing through the night.

Eddie soon stopped at a crosswalk, squinting when a car's lights passed over them.

While they were waiting to cross, Venom’s mind prodded at his.

Hey, Eddie.

“Yes, V?”

He felt something tease along the palm of his hand.

Glancing down in question, Eddie felt his heart swell within his chest.

I love you, Eddie.

Underneath the dim glow of the streetlights, Eddie was able to make out a lone tendril, wrapped snugly around his left ring finger.

It was a near perfect replica of a wedding band.

Without missing a single beat, Eddie lifted the finger up to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss atop his new “ring.”

“I love you, too, V.”

[the-music-maniac]

You ever notice how similar Xie Wang and Han Ying’s stories and character arcs are?

A warning here that this contains spoilers for all of Word of Honor/Shan He Ling. Stop reading now, I reference a ton of shit.

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I was actually discussing a couple fic ideas with a friend a few weeks ago, and I got to wondering after thinking about those parallels I could see -

Does Han Ying x Xie Wang exist as a ship?? Is that a thing?? That exists?? Can it please exist??

It has so much potential. There's so many narrative parallels with these two characters.

They're two people who deserved better than their respective endings, who never got what they wanted, because of the manipulation of men who wanted power and would stop at nothing to get it (Jin Wang and Zhao Jing). The manipulation of those who saw them as less then what they were.

They also have similarities in their relationships with their "mentor figures" - Han Ying and Zhou Zishu, and Xie Wang and Zhao Jing. They have quite a lot of differences too, enough that their lives parallel each other instead of mirror, and I just think that their personal experiences could make for a very compelling storyline if these two were to interact. It would be an interesting road to a development of a potential relationship, and moreover an opportunity for both of them to learn from the other and heal.

And real talk? I just want the both of them to be happy tbh (and of course that obviously doesn't need to involve a romantic relationship - I just have no self control. I'd be just as ecstatic about a really good friendship though).

I also know they never interact in the drama - but then again these two are also literally dead in the drama. Reality is what you make it 🤣🤣. And considering how close the Scorpion was working with Tian Chuang - honestly I'm pretty sure you can't really say they haven't met either.

So anyways, I guess reasons why I think this would be a good ship dynamic:

First of all, their relations with their mentors and how it's similar to each other and also not. The resulting potential for mutual support:

Han Ying's dearest wish is to be a disciple of Zhou Zishu's, as he says plainly in that one episode.

The thing is, there could be quite a lot of subtext taken from that - I've read interpretations that he's in love with Zhou Zishu, or at least has romantic feelings for him - a strong crush possibly - which I can plausibly see (I can also see it just being platonic, which I will talk about later). But yeah, a romantic interpretation just because of how strong his devotion towards Zhou Zishu is. The wistful looks?????

In that kind of situation, IF the romantic feelings are two-sided instead of one-sided - which I would like to go on the record and say that with Han Ying and Zhou Zishu, I don't believe it is - and as a result actually becomes something, that type of relationship would not be the most healthy, because there's a very strong imbalance of power. Even if the mentor figure genuinely cares and actively minds the mentee's feelings - the mentee still undeniably has that level of hero worship - it won't ever be equal. We can see that already in Han Ying's case, Zhou Zishu repeatedly tells him to stop treating him with so much formality because he's not the leader anymore and yet Han Ying still remains deferential.

In that interpretation, if that were the case of it being two sided - Han Ying would have quite a lot of similarity of experience to Xie Wang's relation to Zhao Jing -

And here I can talk about how Xie Wang and Zhao Jing's relationship is uh. Kinda sus tbh. Like. That doesn't look like a healthy or platonic father-son relationship and it gives me the creeps. In Xie Wang and Zhao Jing's relationship, I'm more inclined to believe there's some semi-incestous yifu fucking going on than anything platonic, there's just so many sus moments - and if I'm not mistaken they dubbed over a line in the show where it was basically stated plainly that it's not a platonic relationship. Or at least - Xie Wang doesn't view Zhao Jing platonically (and I don't believe Zhao Jing discourages it at all, if anything he actively encourages and guides it to make Xie Wang dependent on him). So we got another setup where it's potentially one sided romantic feelings/hero worship. Or maybe two sided for them, who knows.

But the thing is, while I talked about unhealthy romantic relationships in my section about Han Ying, a fundamental difference between Xie Wang and Han Ying's relationships with their mentors is that Zhou Zishu's relationship with Han Ying would be a lot healthier. A LOT healthier. So much fucking healthier, I cannot emphasis that enough. And that's mostly because their relationship is not two-sided, and because he sees Han Ying as a person.

He cares about Han Ying a lot but not as anything beyond platonic - he views him as a student and a subordinate and protects him as such. Han Ying on the other hand could have romantic feelings for Zhou Zishu. Not in love per se, it feels to me like it could be a mix of a really strong crush with really strong hero worship. I don't think Han Ying truly knows Zhou Zishu's other aspects of personality (yet?? I guess because if we're gonna hypothetically bring both Han Ying and Xie Wang back to life he probably will eventually get to know Zhou Zishu properly), because I doubt he ever showed anything beyond his stern assassin leader type of persona to his subordinates. He was likely caring yes, but in a way that keeps people at a distance. So, a mentor-mentee type of relationship where Han Ying could be crushing quite hard on Zhou Zishu. But still a healthy one, as Zhou Zishu, one - doesn't intend to pursue a romantic relationship with Han Ying - and moreover, although might know about his feelings, or his devotion at least(tbh you'd have to be blind not to), he treats them, and him, with respect. He doesn't try and manipulate Han Ying, or use his emotions for his own purposes. He sees Han Ying as his own person. His affection and regards towards Han Ying remains unconditional, even if Han Ying messes up or doesn't follow instructions. Instructions that, btw, repeatedly try to keep Han Ying out of the line of fire, and makes it clear that Han Ying is to put himself first.

Everything Zhao Jing does however is solely to cripple Xie Wang and make him wholly dependent on him. He's been grooming Xie Wang from such a young age, and his positive regard and care is ALWAYS conditional. As soon as Xie Wang messes up, he takes it away as punishment, and because of how Zhao Jing's made himself the center of Xie Wang's world, that action is devastating to him. He subtly encourages and toys with Xie Wang's regard for him for his own purposes, he tries to make Xie Wang jealous so he works twice as hard to earn back Zhao Jing's attention. And as we see with his intention to eventually discard Xie Wang as soon as he is no longer useful - he doesn't view Xie Wang as a person. He's merely another tool in his arsenal.

The reason why I wrote such a long ass analysis about the similarities and differences between Xie Wang and Han Ying's relationships is because as I mentioned before, one reason I think this would be a pretty interesting ship and dynamic is how these two could help each other. At first, it might be more Han Ying helping Xie Wang.

Xie Wang hasn't ever experienced what a proper and healthy guardian type relationship is like, or even what it means for someone to choose him first. He's a victim of abuse, and should he manage to survive the avalanche at the end of the show, there is potential for him to start to undo all the damage that Zhao Jing has inflicted on him all those years, especially if the man is truly no longer around. And I think Han Ying would be in a very good position to offer him support in that journey. Moreover, if Han Ying has had an experience similar to that, it could be the reason he would want to offer support to Xie Wang. He's experienced a lot of what Xie Wang has experienced, but he's also seen what it is for someone to genuinely care about him, and as a result likely has a more healthy view on that type of relationship. They're similar enough for Xie Wang to potentially not want to push Han Ying away if he ever offers his help, but also dissimilar enough that Han Ying could offer new avenues of thought.

At the same time, if you just read Han Ying and Zhou Zishu's relationship as a really strong type of hero worship, this dynamic could make sense too. Han Ying clearly looks up to Zhou Zishu quite a lot, and on top of that, Zhou Zishu in a way represents everything Han Ying has wanted and couldn't have - aka a family and a mentor figure and a home to call his own. Regardless of if it's purely platonic or not, it's still an infinitely healthier relationship, a parallel to Xie Wang's experience, so the potential of the offer of support remains the same.

Second of all, similarity in origin and life experiences, which is a small thing tbh but still an important thing:

Han Ying is someone I don't know a lot of background on tbh - I presume he doesn't have a family anymore, and somehow ended up in the Window of Heaven. I've read fics where Zhou Zishu was the one to save him at some point and offer him a position in the assassin group, and I'm inclined to take that as a plausible head canon (unless it's actually canon, idk I haven't read tyk yet).

So, in bare bones, he's an orphan who is taken in by a mentor figure, and becomes a high ranking member of an assassin group.

Xie Wang is also someone who no longer has a family - we don't know that much about his background either, but I presume he was happened upon by Zhao Jing in some way - I'm not sure at what age tbh, is it assumed that he was raised by him?? Or maybe in teenage years??

Whatever it happens to be, Xie Wang was taken in, maybe even "saved" by (although if you ask me, he'd be better off without) Zhao Jing.

So in essence it is the same thing as Han Ying's experiences, an orphan who is taken in by a mentor figure, and becomes a high ranking (or the leader of) an assassin group.

And not only that, as I mentioned from the beginning, these two both realize and know, eventually, that they’re being used by men who are desperate for power (Jin Wang, Zhao Jing).

I mention this actually as just an extension of my first point, because while I mentioned that Han Ying very obviously can support Xie Wang in that particular “past grooming and abuse” aspect, there are probably still many hidden traumas and scars for these two from the lives they’ve both lead. Their similar experiences lead to similar choices which helped shape who they are, and as a result, I think these two could truly understand each other and where they’re coming from.

Their personalities would fit pretty well with each other. I think:

I don’t know if my interpretation on how these two are is accurate tbh, so feel free to let me know if you think it’s out of character.

To me, Han Ying seems like someone who would be pretty calm around the people he cares about; responsible, smart, eager to learn, with a steady sort of presence. He seems like someone who would wear their heart on their sleeve around people he trusts too, but not in any overtly obvious way. I think the reason why I get that impression is that, upon rewatch, I could plainly see his worry about Zhou Zishu in episode one, but when I first started the show, I somehow missed it entirely. Han Ying also didn’t show any qualms about admitting to Chengling that he wants to be Zhou Zishu’s disciple - which can be a very personal piece of info. The way he was around Zhou Zishu, and Wen Kexing also gave off an air of innocent eagerness to do well in his accomplishments and for approval. I’m not saying he’s always like this, because I’m rather certain he has a darker side too - as we see with all the characters, no one is without their traumas and no one is without artifice or without complexity. They’re all grey moral in a very human way, and Han Ying is no different. We’ve seen before too that once he’s got his game face on, the man is pretty competent and also ruthless (his conversation with Gao Chong for example) - I don’t think he could be any less if he’s that high up in the Tianchuang hierarchy. But at the same time I can also see him being a bit of a very subtle disaster (almost?? Slightly dorky??) in certain situations, and we can see that kind of peek through when Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing hijacked his kidnapping attempt and he was kind of like uhh. Okay so, I’m in a choke hold, I think that might be my former commander, so like. Let them go. It’s actually really funny cause while Wen Kexing was telling Gao Chong and Chengling to hurry up and leave, I swear you could see Han Ying contemplating his entire life.

The face of a man confuzzled.

Xie Wang on the other hand, is someone that’s more impulsive, liable to push or be mischievous, less of a steady personality and more like - for lack of better word - an absolute gremlin. A pretty murderous one. It’s a bit hard to tell all aspects of how Xie Wang is tbh, since he has many different mannerisms while talking to different people. With Zhao Jing he has a very subservient, almost dutiful, childlike and innocent air about him, and a sort of. Sa jiao (撒娇) type of demeanor. He craves approval from Zhao Jing, and is just generally very baby around him, and I’m really not sure how much of that is how he actually is and how much of that is him learning that this is the best way to get Zhao Jing’s attention. And tbh I don’t think all of that is grooming, I think Xie Wang probably does have the potential to be as soft or as innocently childlike and happy with others he cares about (just hopefully in a lot healthier way). I think we see his soft side a little with Qianqiao when he gives her the cure. Despite that though, we can still see other aspects of him surface. He makes suggestions and pushes when he thinks Zhao Jing’s refusals are unreasonable, he just goes and does his own thing sometimes (um usually murderous things. Like when he killed Song Huai Ren and told Zhao Jing he’s a traitor). He’s mischievous about some of his actions (after literally stabbing a man, ‘what? he said I should kill him if I have the ability’). He’s a lot more obviously gritty and aggressive and morally grey than Han Ying appears, which I think adds dimension to his character when added in with everything else. He’s also very smart, competent, ruthless - obviously since he runs the Scorpion, but he’s surprisingly fair and almost? Honourable? In certain aspects? And like Han Ying, he does somewhat wear his heart on his sleeve, retains that eagerness to do well and is somehow not as jaded as he could be, as he still finds the capacity to eventually care for a stranger (Liu Qianqiao). 

I may be oversimplifying how these two could be, but with their personality types I think they have a lot of potential both in a romantic relationship or as close friends. And in a way that at first glance would probably be puzzling - how in the hell did these two become friends/get together (lmao you’ll see Han Ying in his rather sensible disciple robes and then Xie Wang is just there in his braids, dramatic black outfits, winged eyeliner, etc. 🤣🤣😅😅) but on closer thought, makes sense. Han Ying could be a more steadying presence for Xie Wang, and Xie Wang in turn could help him loosen up a bit more. (That’s kind of oversimplifying it but it’s 5 am where I am rn and I’m too tired to elaborate) I also believe Xie Wang might push Han Ying to be more ambitious, be able to do things for himself more - because Xie Wang went through a process of, everything I do is for someone else, until I realized they were using me, and now I’m going to do it for myself. In that way they could potentially push each other to higher heights in what they do, and they are pretty similar in ideology and morals and previous actions. They both have blood on their hands, and they’re not afraid to be ruthless or do what’s necessary to get the job done. They have their traumas, their complexities and an understanding of what it’s like to put on masks for different people.

The potential for found family. All the found family. Gimme:

This one I feel like is more obvious and changes some things about canon, but the timeline I imagine for if Xie Wang x Han Ying would be a plausible ship is one where Han Ying survives the stealing of the fake glazed armour incident and becomes one of the disciples of Siji (second disciple of the sixth generation????). Everything else would likely proceed in a very similar way (although in this au in my mind Gu Xiang and Cao Weining are alive). And then during the avalanche incident, with WenZhou trapped in the armoury, Xie Wang ends up surviving and they end up finding him somehow.

Whether or not it’d be out of character for WenZhou to save him I think could be explored, but the bottom line is that eventually they would probably take him back to Siji. There, whether him meeting Han Ying goes smoothly or not is up to interpretation - I very much doubt it would be an amiable meeting tbh - in fact I fully imagine it to be antagonistic af at first, considering what opposing groups they used to be a part of and the knowledge of how deadly the other can be - trust would be hard to come by, which makes a slow development all the more interesting. And moreover them becoming friends or dating would likely help Xie Wang into the dynamic at Siji because now there’s a more tangible connection between him and the place, and I can see while he’s getting to know all the people of Siji, eventually thinking of them as family as well.  And Han Ying in turn gets another person who cares about him, and for him to care about.

I’ll be honest here and say that I don’t particularly care at this point how realistic or in character it all would be -  I need found family in my life I have no self control. Xie Wang and Han Ying my beloveds needs all the good things.

Another possible meeting is just Han Ying being sent to negotiate with the Scorpions instead of Duan Pengju (is that how it went? I’ll admit I’m a little fuzzy on plot points here) and meeting each other that way. There could be moments of understanding while working together, an inevitable kinda separation, and eventually seeing each other again at Siji, after all the shitshow is over. The development could continue from there.

The closer age gap:

I’d like to preface this part with a disclaimer that I’m not trying to bash any other ships that are out there, this is actually just entirely my personal preference.

I don’t really like big age gaps in my ships unless their both established adults - for example in their 30's 40's, even 50's. Even if one of them remains young in body, it’s just not a dynamic I generally like. The most popular ship that comes to mind here is Ye Baiyi x Xie Wang - and all the more power to you if you do ship it tbh, I can see it being really adorable and healing for the both of them, especially since Ye Baiyi never really gets a happy ending either (and he absolutely deserves one 😤😤😤) - but that as a ship dynamic is personally not for me, especially after Xie Wang’s kinda hinted relationship with another man that’s also older than him. Ye Baiyi obviously is ten million times the man Zhao Jing could ever be, and it would be an infinitely healthier relationship anyway, but yeah the age gap thing is just my personal bias.

So I don’t know, I appreciate that Han Ying and Xie Wang are both closer in age to each other. I know there aren’t confirmed ages (I think?) but if I had to take a guess, I’d say I think both of them are probably in their early to mid twenties.

Anyways, it’s literally 5:43 am now where I am, so I think I’m gonna end this way too long post and pass out. Honestly, I’m not even sure if this thing is coherent anymore, I’m half delirious with exhaustion while writing this. I might possibly write a fic or do something about this Xie Wang x Han Ying ship, I might not, but I just wanted to get it out there. It’s a cute idea.

Oh god my eyeballs are burning. Cheers, goodnight.

[ducavalentinos]

lol i just started following everyone who was talking about Moncito and fidelity from @thesolotomyhan’s page and i love how you are getting posts on here about it too😂😂😂

also, i agree big with your response about men being “desmadre,” compartmentalizing sex and intimacy. even tho i was the one who said i get Rafa vibes from Mon, if we got a window more into Mon’s personal life, i could actually see it being written the way you described, so like self-loathing after he cheats but cheating bc he also doesn’t know what else to do with himself or how else to channel more nuanced feelings (bc men aren’t allowed to have the full range of them bc gender roles/conditioning :/). i still stand by the Rafa vibes being how he is enamorado, in the beginning at least, mostly bc they’re similarly childlike and impulsive, yknow happy-go-lucky one minute and pinches pistoleros locos the next. and Ramon would be a shit liar like you mentioned which is also attributable to him being a little bebe, like not wanting to disappoint his female caretakers early on in life i.e. his mom or Dina, and that translating later to his romantic partners to the point that he just tries to lie and sulks bc he knows you see right thru that shit just like Dina would lol. anyway, basically yes to everything and i love this fandom and that y’all get me and are willing to let me lurk and shout at you on tumblr. okay that is all byyeee

lolool oh god, yes, I still can’t believe how my ask sparkled all this in-depth debate over Món and fidelity, but I’m loving it 💜💜💜 I think we absolutely should discuss every tiny little aspect of that man and his life, he deserves our full devotion ok dsjdjsdjs. And yeah, not to get more into this because it was never what I intended to do here, but I do think overall men’s psychology and behavior works different than our own, esp. in regards to sex and intimacy, and how they deal with emotions, too, which I don’t tend to see it in terms of either bad or wrong versus good or right, but rather as healthy or unhealthy. The same applies to our own pyschology and behavior, it’s just different and I personally try to understand these differences in order to have good relationships in my life, and sure, we can add the social factor into their behavior, but as I said in the other ask, I don’t believe (anymore) that it is as significant a factor or even the base factor for it. With Món, the way I see, the way I approach his character takes into consideration his sex, his age, his environment and his personal/family relations, unfortunately like you said we didn’t had much of a window into his personal life :(((( so we have put the pieces together ourselves to think about how he would be with certain things or react to things and well...I’m doing it!😄 But I agree 100% with you with the Rafa thing, I thought that was so spot on because I can also see some similarities between them, (pinches pistoleros locos 😂 I LOVE IT) although I think Rafa was more emotional, more reckless than Ramón, like he felt things too intensely. I don't think Món gets to that level, he is emotional, yes, he is hot-headed, he’s quick to react to things, esp. if it’s connected to his family, but I also think he’s a bit more chill than Rafa, and a little less reckless, less irresponsible than Rafa, like even with his temper, as far as I remember, there are no mentions of him doing anything that jeopardized his family in the way Rafa does with Miguel, for example. AND OMG I’m having a cuteness overload with what you said, of him being a little bebe that didn’t want to disappoint his mom or Dina 🥰🥰🥰 and then that translating to his partner, you're totally right! I can see that, him trying to lie, sulking about it because he knows that you know, and then not knowing what to do next.... AY MI NIÑO PRECIOSO! <333 And same, I didn't know how lovely and fun this fandom was, otherwise I'd have join sooner, it took the last season for me to jump right into it, because the Arellanos obsession got out of control, haha.

[queerlymasculine]

this is a really long post and I have yet to discover a way to put a read-more on posts while on mobile. RIP. I'll tag it as a long post, but that's the best I can do. mobile does have filtering, btw, so you can hide tags and content (including usernames btw) that you don't want to see, so blacklist "long post"

anyway

in tonight's edition of "growing up in fundamentalist Christianity was a deeply traumatic experience for me on top of the trauma I was already experiencing at the same time,"

I have realized once again why the way primarily cisgender heterosexual people talk about kink has never vibed with me.

fundamentalist Christianity is all about how pleasure is bad. if you feel pleasure, you are not doing enough. you are not a good person if you are feeling pleasure (or even if you're feeling calm and comfortable). suffering is the point. you should be suffering all the time. you should be uncomfortable. suffering is good. suffering is the right thing to do. if you are struggling and constantly telling yourself you're a bad person and constantly aware that you should be doing more, you're on the right track. but you're never a good person. everyone is fundamentally bad, and the best we can do is work insanely hard to be less-bad.

I'm not kidding. it sounds crazy because it is. it sounds unhealthy because it is.

and that's the narrative people have about submission. maybe suffering isn't the right word because I feel like at least 51% of people in kink understand that if you're playing with any kind of pain, you should be enjoying it at all times. I feel like most people think pain should be a fun time for you if you're going to do it.

maybe sacrifice is the better word. submission seems synonymous with sacrifice. submissives, it seems, give something up, and dominants gain. a submissive lacks, and a dominant has. people talk about it as though that is what submission -- maybe more specifically the type of submission that includes an aspect of service -- entails. that sacrifice is the core of submission.

and honestly I don't fuck with that, given the trauma I experienced. I can see in theory how one might enjoy that, I genuinely do. it's not for me, but that doesn't mean I don't understand what the appeal is.

but I don't fuck with it. I lived with that narrative for years, and it contributed to the other horrible things I was going through, and I'm over it, none for me thanks.

and yet, here I am, in a d/s relationship (intentionally not capitalized because I find the obsession with capitalization exhausting and demeaning), and here I am, with the desire to serve.

it should be noted that this desire to serve is exclusive to my owner and has grown organically in me. I didn't want this before I met hir, and I only want this with hir.

so, how do I make this make sense? how do I align my desire to serve with the fact I refuse to operate under a framework where discomfort, sacrifice, and suffering are expected of me?

because there's no obligation. there are no consequences if I don't want to or am not able to. I will receive the same praise and love, and I will be desired either way. there are no conditions on pleasure. hir pleasure is never more important than mine. pleasure can look different for each of us -- for example, sometimes it's pleasurable to orgasm, sometimes it's pleasurable not to -- but we both deserve and get pleasure from what we do.

when I think about performing acts of service for hir, it's a pleasurable thought and I have every reason to believe the experience in real life would feel the same way. I want to do them because I want to, which seems reductive, I'll grant you that. I want to do them because the idea of doing them brings me pleasure. the fact it will also bring hir pleasure is a beneficial side effect.

(obviously I wouldn't do them if ze didn't want me to. what I'm saying is that I don't feel compelled to do them because I believe I have to in order to please hir.)

i wouldn't want to do these things if I didn't feel safe. my desire to do them is one of the most pure feelings I experience. it's not complicated. I don't feel like I have to. I don't feel like I need to. I don't feel like it will make me a Better Submissive if I do them. I don't think wanting to serve makes me a Better Submissive than people who don't want to. it's just a thing I want to do because it is a way I can express how I feel about hir.

I wouldn't feel this way about someone who wanted me to do it or expected me to. I don't find acts of domestic-flavored service inherently rewarding, most likely because of the way I was raised and the society in which we live. doing these things requires a lot from me, and when it's expected, the emotional payoff is never enough to justify the cost incurred.

ze doesn't expect it. even when I express certain desires, ze never holds me to them, ze never expects me to want to do the same things every time we play. the lack of expectation and concurrent lack of punitive response -- not just lack of discipline play but also that ze never reacts negatively when I express my needs, ze never gets angry or frustrated with me, etc -- makes me feel safe.

ze is a really good person, and I'm not just saying that in the same way that people always say the person they love is a good person. ze is like.......... a really good person. I've only ever met a handful of other people who are good like this. ze is the kind of person who is so good that you kinda can't trust it at first because you're like, "okay nobody is actually that good. nobody is actually that kind and good and patient and smart and loving and genuine."

but like.... ze actually is like that.

and I just, the way I feel about hir, I don't know how to express it in a different way. there aren't other ways to express this facet of it. there certainly aren't words for it. this is the only way that can properly communicate it.

I just want to serve hir because that's the way I feel about hir and because I feel that ze deserves it. I don't think any of the random doms on here deserve it from me because I know I'm better than them. they're not good enough for me.

but ze is good enough for me. that is why ze gets to play under this framework with me. ze is kind and good and loving and gentle and soft, and I deserve that. similarly, I'm kind and gentle and loving and supportive and able to be honest about my needs, and ze deserves a partner and submissive with those qualities.

and I believe ze deserves the kind of devotion I have for hir. I believe ze deserves the way I feel about hir.

so it doesn't feel like a sacrifice. nothing about being hirs feels like I'm giving anything up. I genuinely see everything we do as me getting something. there's no loss or sacrifice at all. other people might look at what we do and view it with that lens, but their interpretation would be wrong.

to me, kink is just an umbrella of different ways to experience pleasure. it's a choose your own adventure thing with a wide range of options. the only two mandatory requirements are enthusiastic consent and safety, both physical and emotional.

kink should just be a nice time that you enjoy with people you like and trust. it shouldn't be boring or a chore. it should be fun and fulfilling. it shouldn't be sacrifice. there shouldn't be a price.

I want to serve because it feels good, that's all. I will only serve when it feels good. that's how it works for me. I might enjoy something right now and do it, but if tomorrow it doesn't feel good, I don't do it tomorrow.

and for me, I don't mess with extra steps. if it doesn't feel uncomplicatedly good, then I'm not going to do it. I don't have anything to prove. if a dominant needs a submissive to Prove™️ they are the dominant's submissive, I am not the partner for them and they are not the dominant for me.

my time is valuable, people. I don't waste it on shit I don't have to. if I choose to share my free time with you, it's because I want to, and I don't respect people who feel entitled to more than what I want to give them.

this is a good example of why I choose to be with my owner -- I have literally said the words "I want you to feel entitled to me" to hir lmao. ze has never acted like ze feels entitled to my time or attention. that tells me ze respects me and that ze believes my time and attention have value because decent people don't just go around expecting valuable things for free.

I know ze respects me. so I want hir to feel entitled to me because I want to be hirs and I want hir to feel that I belong to hir. I want to know ze feels and understands how I feel.

i don't personally see the benefit of living under a narrative of sacrifice. I tried it, and it fucked me up. I work with a narrative of pleasure and wanting to serve my owner is a product of that narrative. it is pleasurable to serve hir. it is exclusively pleasurable. it's healing, too. it is healing to adore someone this way and to be adored in return. it is healing to want to serve someone deserves it and who appreciates the entirety of it. it is healing to be this safe.

idk what the point of this post is, other than lacetop is great and you really can just do the parts of kink that are fun for you and forget the rest.

[popconfession]

I had a sort of epiphany/childhood rememberance today. Fun fact about me is that I defy all stereotypes of Cancers and cry like, once a year max unless it is literal physical pain that drives it. Which I know is vastly unhealthy and should be discussed with a therapist because I, and everyone, have plenty of reasons to cry and it is good for you psychologically and physiologically. But! That’s not the point. The point is that I don’t cry and am known for not crying so when I started sobbing in the theater during Detective Pikachu, my roommates thought I was having an asthma attack because why would I, who never cries, be crying during Detective Pikachu and in public no less? 

I was a lonely child. I was technically an only child as I was not raised with either of my half siblings. I had a single mom who worked and while she cared for me was far more devoted to her god than to me. Dad left with the neighbor’s wife real young and had very little contact and my maternal grandparents did a lot of my raising but again, that pesky god issue. So I was lonely and I also knew, as so many children know and shouldn’t, that love was conditional on how good of a child I was and how good of a daughter I was and how good of a christian I was and I would be loved less when I inevitably failed at any of those things. But! Animals existed. Animals who loved without reservation or condition, and yes you needed to feed and water and care for them but that was just basic decency and my grandparent’s dog and cats certainly did not care if I prayed or was ladylike or any of that bullshit, they just wanted pets and playtimes and loved me always for existing. 

And then I discovered magical animals. The Valdemar and Pern series were very formative but they weren’t alone (and don’t bother reading them now because amazing magical horses and psychic dragons aside, Valdemar has some super fucked up fetishizing racism toward native peoples that I did not pick up on as a child and the Pern series has some super rapey sexual dynamics I did pick up on) and the idea of a magical animal, often as intelligent as a human if not more so, with special magical or pyschic senses, who could choose a person, usually only one person and the idea of them choosing me? Out of everyone? And loving me forever? 

And sure, cool, maybe it came with a job or calling or whatever was part of that universe but the point was the choosing, the unconditional love and approval of a being with no familial tie, no reason to pick you, but they did and it was forever. That’s some straight up serotonin on steroids, that reached into my cracked little heart and wrenched it open in the best possible way.

And that’s why I sobbed in the theater during Detective Pikachu when those fucking amazing little bulbasaurs hummed and burbled and led him to PIkachu and just reached back through all those years to crack it open again.

TLDR, bring back books/shows/movies/whatever with magical animal companions that choose a person and keep them! I need it and so do plenty of other current and former lonely children. Also watch Detective Pikachu. I know nothing about pokemon, my mom thought they were satanic, and I still loved it.