#ANYWAY enough rambling from me! hope y’all enjoy

[cryptids-lobelia-garden]

I managed to pull this together in the middle of an Absolutely Horrible work day! Yay! (Writing this is probably part of what got me out of a stress and caffeine induced panic attack) Unfortunately I didn’t get it edited on time to post on time, but Hey! It Exists :D Anyway, people should write more characters having autism shutdowns. It’s very frustrating being barely able/unable to talk (I am autism btw)

Anyway, this one’s very environmental. I feel like the timespace distortions in PLA could have been a LOT more horrifying, and I’m here to deliver! Warnings: animal attack (again), uuuuhh what do you call this.. time and space are being bent and torn around him and it is some sort of cosmic horror or something idk what that term means exactly I just know it’s what comes to mind, but uuuh yeah this one’s kinda tame actually.

All of mine so far have been pretty tame, let’s be honest. I promise I can write other stuff we just haven’t gotten to the Good Stuff I Have Planned yet

Day 5: Reckless

Takes place some time after the battle atop Mount Coronet. (After day 4 of this event, far before day 3, which happened before days 1 and 2)

~~~~~

Volo should have known this would happen when a strange energy started to fill the air. He should’ve known this would happen when sparks started to fly.

He thought he had more time before it did, thought he could pick a few more berries from this tree and run.

He should’ve known better than to test his fate, especially in a distortion that he had indirectly caused. Arceus has a sense of humor, after all, and Volo is no stranger to the cruelty that fate seems to love to bring him.

Scents from past and future flow into the air, and he can hardly breathe, stumbling as the ground morphs and shifts under him. One moment, he’s standing on the grassy hill, and the next, a structure he doesn’t understand appears out of nowhere, trapping him inside.

He scrambles his way out a window and brings his fingers to his mouth, whistling as loud as he can.

But Toge doesn’t come. She can’t hear him in the storm.

I could die here.

The realization sends chills down his spine.

He’s been confronted by his own mortality plenty of times in his life. It’d be a surprise to hear someone hasn’t, really, in a world as dangerous, as cruel as this one. Wild Pokémon attacks that aren’t immediately deadly can still be incredibly dangerous later, after all, and there’s a myriad of other dangers in this world.

Volo happens to be particularly good at getting himself into bad situations, and fate has always seemed to be especially cruel to him. He’s faced death plenty of times.

But it’s never felt so close.

He could run from murderers and wild Pokémon. He managed to strike a deal with Giratina when they met, he learned everything he could forage so he would never starve, he had even escaped the wrath of a particularly powerful zoroark, which is an impressive feat, considering the fact that even the normal zoro put plenty of people on the death toll.

But he can’t run from this. Not when he can’t breathe and the ground itself doesn’t seem to work as it should, flickering in and out of existence at the drop of a hat.

He curses himself for his stupidity as a terrified steelix shrieks, a sound like boulders tumbling down a mountain. It’s moving too quickly to see where it’s going, barreling straight towards Volo.

He just manages to dodge out of the way, ducking and rolling behind a tree- but an electric attack hits him, and he shrieks as his whole body jolts from it, falling to his knees.

It’s hard to move, he’s shaking, his muscles are spasming.

He can’t run.

Paralyzed.

I’m going to die here.

Something falls into his hands, a strange device. Some sort of bracelet, with a thick, flat face.

It lights up as he touches it.

He frantically presses back against the tree as an alpha raichu steps forward, holding the strange device up.

He’s about to move to throw it in desperation-

And then something he touches on it creates a shield of pink and blue energy, surrounding him just as the raichu tries to hit him with a Thunder.

He can breathe.

Volo scrambles to his feet, catching his breath. “Is this- some sort of shield..?” It moves with him as he walks- no? It’s moving with the device.

He scoops it off the ground, shaking his limbs out to try to get the rest of the electric attack out of his system, and he sprints towards the outside of the distortion, carrying the device with him. The ground materializes beneath his feet, holding steady even as it breaks around him, and he thanks fate for finally giving him something good.

Some attack hits the shield, and he yelps as he’s thrown, but he isn’t hurt by anything except his own bad landing. Scrambling back to his feet, he runs the rest of the way out, jumping through to the outside of the bubble of distorted land just as the timespace storm starts to swirl.

Terrified pokemon shriek as they’re swept into it. Volo nearly throws up as he sees human remains inside, swirling with the rest.

And, in a flash, all of it is gone, leaving no sign of what just happened but specks of shimmering pink dust, floating softly to the ground.

He’s in a cold sweat, shaking as he stares at where he was almost swept away. The trio would RUN INTO these. For FUN, to collect the things inside.

What the HELL is wrong with them!?

He takes a few shaky breaths, collapsing to his hands and knees. The device makes a clicking sound as it wraps around his hand, but he pays it no mind for now.

Okay.

Okay, I’m okay. I’m alive. I’m okay.

..I have nobody to blame for that except myself. I shouldn’t have stayed when the storm started to gather. And for what, a few handfuls more of berries? That wasn’t worth the risk!

He stares at the strange device, which has moved to his wrist. There’s numbers on the front, though he’s not sure what they’re for.

It’s a miracle I made it out. And it’s because of this wondrous device..

It’s locked itself around his wrist somehow. He can’t see the locking mechanism- it looks like a clean band, aside from the face. The only sign as to its origin is some strange lettering on the side, though he doesn’t really recognize the characters. He knows he’s seen them somewhere before, though.

With some experimentation, he figures out he can move the device up and down his arm, but he can’t take it off. It’s comfortable no matter where it is, fitting perfectly to his skin, but it won’t go over his hand, despite obviously having the capability of doing so.

Fascinating..

Okay, he’ll deal with that later. He stands, making his way back to the little camp he’s set up.

He’s still feeling a little stiff with the after effects of a fairly mild electric attack paralysis, but he’s not too hurt- he must’ve not been hit too bad, thankfully.

Volo sits at camp, dumping out his bag and counting the supplies he’s managed to gather.

If he finds a way to preserve the food, what he has gathered today will be enough for a few days. So the progress towards what he and his Pokémon need to survive the winter is slow, but it is progressing.

The extra berries he grabbed are enough for two extra meals for Toge, so there’s that, at least.

Was it worth the risk? No, not in the slightest. Not when he can easily gather that safely.

But does it make him feel a little better about it?

Absolutely.

He looks up as a shadow falls over him, quickly moving to catch Toge as she flies into his chest. “Hey!”

She squeaks happily, shaking her bag- and that’s the sound of a bunch of apricorns. He can also see the leaves of a few different edible plants and medicinal herbs sticking out.

Volo smiles, cuddling her close. “Thank you, sweetheart,” he murmurs, burying his face in her feathers with a quiet sigh. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

~~~

PARADOX DETECTED

A young woman leans over to look at the alert, brushing curly red hair out of her eyes. “Oh! Well, that explains where he got his watch.. That is a dangerous paradox, wow. Very lucky it didn’t break anything. Dialga must have helped..” She sighs, tapping a few buttons on her watch and sending a quick message to Management. “..Dragons. I need to figure out how Eclipse got it off so I can update the security systems.. What a bother.”

[ccherrybloom]

Ashtrays & Antihistamines Pt. 1

oc, m, hayfever, wc: 2.8k

Part 2

CW: foul language and allusions to gay sex lol

~~

a.n. + summary: i don't think i've ever posted a snzfic on this blog, but there's a first for everything, right? featuring my lovely little ocs and their stupid dumb little band. i don't normally write them in snzcerions, but...every now and again i can’t help myself and one slips through the cracks lol. This particular one centers around my absolute shithead of an Irishman, Peter, as he deals with a hayfever flare up for the first time in like…twenty years, lol. of course, ever the lucky one, this begins to happen during the band’s first mini-tour. Cue shenanigans. I hope you all enjoy!

~~

“hH’RRSHhiue!” Peter fell into himself with a harsh sneeze, the band’s rundown van jerking sporadically with its driver’s sudden movement. “Goddamnit!”

“Bless.” Geoff offered lazily from the passenger seat as he turned a page of his book, unbothered by the vehicle’s erratic veer. “That’s like the tenth one since we’ve left Dublin.” The bassist pointed out, shooting the guitarist a pointed look from the corner of his eye. “You alright?”

“Fuckin’ hayfever,” Peter answered as he scrubbed his palm aggressively against the underside of his nose, careful not to put too much pressure against his nose rings. He followed it up with a drawn-out sniffle. “I’m fine. Christ.”

“I don’t remember ya being like this before,” Maurice quipped from the back of the van, leaning forward to join in on the conversation. “I mean hell, ya lived in Dublin fer how many years…?”

“Longer than you, Frenchie.” Peter retorted as he thrust a tattooed hand backwards to try and shove the singer away. Maurice easily dodged with a laugh, swatting at Peter’s hand as Geoff instinctively reached out to steady the van as it began to swerve again. “You can piss right off.”

“Look, I’m just sayin’, yer born and bred Irish — who knew all it took was a few months in London for yer own country to turn on ya.”

“I said piss off.”

“Who gives a shit!” Chris suddenly interjected as he pulled his headphones from his ears, a curly lock of the drummer’s dark hair falling between his eyes. “Just keep your bloody eyes on the road! I dunno ‘bout you lot, but I’d like to get there in one piece.”

Maurice backed off with a snicker, hands up in surrender as Peter quickly flipped Chris off in the rear view mirror before returning his full attention to the road.

After Peter and Maurice had both left Dublin for London a few months shy of one another, the four men began to pour almost all of their free time into their passion project, The Undergrounds. Much to their genuine surprise, people seemed to really enjoy their band’s sound and performances, so much so in fact that they’d hit a point where pubs across the UK were beginning to reach out to them, asking the group to come play for their open mic nights, with some even offering payment. With the requests getting further and further away from their homebase in London, the band finally decided to bite the bullet and buy themselves some transportation, namely their shithole of a van lovingly referred to as Van Halen. Despite its old clunkiness, it really did do the trick, and allowed the men to head across the border on their first ever ‘Let’s-Not-Call-It-A-Tour’ Tour. Realistically, with two of the four members being from (or as close to ‘from’ as one could be, in Maurice’s case) Ireland, the band had picked up quite a bit of traction across the small country with the men getting many open mic night requests which they normally had to turn down, much to Peter’s dismay.

At least until now, that is.

Peter had noticed something was off after their show in Dublin the night prior. At first he just assumed he strained his voice singing backup vocals — a product of over-excitement from getting to play in his old stomping grounds. But by morning the scratchiness in his throat lingered and was now accompanied by faint itchiness in his nose that forewarned him of worse yet to come. 

By the time the men packed up their gear and filed into the van late that afternoon, the unwelcoming prickle that had been festering in his nose demanded more attention, and his eyes began to itch in a maddening way that he hadn’t experienced since he was a kid back in Belfast. Initially he tried to ignore it, chalking it up as a residual reaction to dust from the old pub, or that it had been awhile since Van Halen had gotten a good clean. But as time slowly passed on their nearly three hour drive to Cork, and the itchiness in his sinuses progressed into full-blown sneezing, the reality of the situation began to dawn on him. He was immediately thrust back to Belfast, memories of summers spent constantly sneezing thanks to the fields near his old home, his eyes watering, his nose running, each summer spent absolutely miserable. He hadn’t had a hayfever flare-up in years, thinking it was something he had thankfully outgrown once his mum had moved them to Dublin, but yet here it was, back to rear its ugly head once more all these years later. The familiar lush scents of the countryside that used to conjure such vivid memories of home were now turning every intake of breath the guitarist took into a gamble. 

The itchiness in Peter’s nose only seemed to increase in urgency as Van Halen bumped its way through the Irish countryside. The landscape blurred past the windows, a mix of greens and greys under a sky that threatened rain.

“Nearly there.” Geoff hummed, taking a peek at the map app on his phone. “About another twenty or so.”

“Thank fuck.” Peter grumbled with a sniffle, his eyes squinting past the relentless itchiness. He adjusted his grip on the steering wheel and pulled his glasses up slightly before slamming his wrist into one eye and scrubbing hard.

“I think we could all do with a pint,” Maurice chimed in, trying to lighten the mood. “Especially you, Peter.” He added, gently poking the man’s shoulder.

Peter managed a weak chuckle in response, his wrist still pressed hard into the corner of his eye. 

“Just keep it steady Pete, yeah?” Chris leaned himself forward and rested his elbows onto his knees, eyes scanning the road ahead. “Not much longer and you can go ahead and drown yourself in whatever local brew you fancy.”

Peter opened his mouth to reply, but the van hit a particularly bumpy patch of road, jolting everyone inside. Instead he just swore under his breath, turning his full focus back towards the road as Cork began to appear on the horizon.

“There she is.” Geoff whistled, pointing ahead. “Welcome to Cork, lads.”

Peter managed to manoeuvre Van Halen expertly through the narrow streets of Cork despite battling his allergic reaction, the van’s tires crunching over cobblestone as he pulled them into the parking lot of their dingy motel.

“Home sweet home.” Maurice hummed as he clapped a hand onto Peter’s shoulder, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as the other two members filed out. “At least fer the next few days.”

Peter leaned back into the driver’s seat and let his eyes drift closed as he exhaled deeply, shutting off the engine. He only cracked an eye back open when he felt Maurice give his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“You alright?” The singer asked, his voice low and expression soft.

“I’m grand, Mur.” Peter grumbled, his voice heavy with sarcasm. The real truth of the matter was that he was miserable, itchy, and absolutely dying for a cigarette — not that he cared to say any of that out loud. 

The guitarist pulled off his glasses to give his watery eyes another scrub before continuing. “Just got a fierce bad dose of this nonsense…This shite best be all said and done before our show or I’ll–hh! hH’ITSHHhiue!”

“See, but that’s what we don’t wantcha doin’, actually.” The blonde teased as he patted the guitarist’s shoulder before the other quickly slapped it away as if he were swatting a mosquito.

“You fuck right off, Murry.” Peter sniffled hard, dragging the backside of his hand beneath his nose. “Just get yer shit and get goin’.”

Maurice did as he was told and hopped out of the van with Peter not far behind as the pair hurriedly began to help the others unload. With the sky steadily darkening the four moved quickly, eager to avoid the potential rain. Luckily the unloading and reloading of Van Halen had become more and more familiar with each passing gig, and it didn’t take them long to have all the necessities laid out beside the van, ready to go.

The motel itself was a shabby vintage looking two-story building, its neon sign flickering with an almost uncertain intermittence as if it were clinging onto its last shred of life.

Maurice and Geoff took the lead, carrying the group’s heavier equipment while Chris and Peter followed suit with their four bags. They bustled their way to the reception desk where they were met with a disinterested looking clerk who simply handed them a single worn key with a faded plastic tag attached.

“Yer in room 107.” He mumbled, barely looking up from his magazine.

“Cheers, mate.” Geoff scoffed as he shot the others an exasperated look and snatched the key. He led the group down the dimly lit hallway, their feet dragging against a carpet that had clearly seen better days. When they reached their room Geoff wasted no time unlocking the door and shoving it open, revealing a tightly packed space with two queen beds, a small television, and a bathroom that looked like it hadn’t been updated in at least two decades.

“Alright, how we doin’ this?” Chris asked as he tossed the bags he had onto the closest bed.

“By drawing straws, of course.” Geoff instructed as he pulled a set of straws he had prepared earlier out of his pocket. “Shortest straw shares with the other shortest straw.”

The others agreed on this being fair enough and drew their straws, quickly comparing them.

“Well, it’s you and me, innit?” Chris said as he held up his short straw next to Peter’s. He gave the other a playful nudge and smirked. “Just don’t go tryin’ nuffin, yeah?”

Peter sniffled thickly and shoved Chris away before pinching his nose between his thumb and forefinger, careful to avoid the rings, and itched it aggressively. “I got enough of ya the first time.” He moved from rubbing his nose to scrubbing his eyes, trying to ignore the way Maurice bristled at the mention of their one-off fling. “Won’t be doin’ that again.” Chris flipped him off and called him a wanker, but he went ahead and ignored that too.

“Hey, Pete,” Geoff called out as he tossed his bag onto the other bed. “Why don’t you take a shower? Might help clear up a bit of that hayfever.”

Peter, who’s eyes had started to glaze over, did his best to nod in the ginger’s general direction. “That’s the best ideee-hha I’ve heard all d—hh! hhUH’DITSHhhiuew! ‘IGKSHhhiueww!” He doubled over hard into cupped hands, his entire body tensing violently with each sneeze before he groaned thickly against his palms. “—all damn day.” He finished on an exhale, voice cracking. “-snf- Jaysus…”

“Bless you.” Geoff offered, a twinge of sympathy in his voice. “You know you really ought to—”

“G’way outta that.” Peter interjected with a dismissive wave of his hand as he trudged his way to the bathroom, eyes half-lidded. “Last thing I need is yer bloody mother hennin’, Geoffrey.” He added before pulling the door closed behind him. 

Flicking the light switch, Peter had to wait a full second before the dull fluorescents sputtered to life, illuminating the unsightly bathroom as he dragged his feet towards the shower. The tiles were cracked and the floor was splotchy, but he didn’t care, he just wanted some relief. 

The pipes whined in protest as he turned on the taps before water began to sputter out from the shower head. The water pressure seemed abysmal at best, and Peter cursed to himself as he leaned his weight against the sink, waiting for the water to warm. As steam steadily started filling the small space, he could feel the tightness in his sinuses ease up slightly, making his nose run. The liquid caught on his septum ring and trailed rapidly down towards his upper lip. Blowing out an annoyed breath, the guitarist took a second to wipe his nose haphazardly against his sleeve before stripping and stepping into the tub, letting the warm water cascade over him with an appreciative sigh.

Outside of the bathroom Geoff and Maurice were seated on each side of their shared bed as they sorted through their bags.

“Think he’ll live?” Maurice asked as he pulled out his plastic toiletry bag, setting it to the side.

Geoff gave a small shrug in return, glancing towards the bathroom door. “I reckon it could go either way with that dumb git.”

Maurice snorted at this, but his knit brow betrayed his feigned air of nonchalance. “Just hope the shower helps, I s’ppose. Don’t think we can really afford to have him down fer the count.”

Chris, already sprawled out on the other bed, headphones back on, piped up. “Eh, he’ll be alright. Just needs to wash off whatever’s settin’ ‘im off. It’s no big, yeah? You French people are wound too tight.”

Maurice rolled his eyes at this but chose to ignore the drummer’s comment. “I just don’t want anythin’ to screw this up for us.” He murmured as his eyes fell onto the bathroom door. “That’s all.”

“hh-Hh! hH’dDZTShiueww!” Peter sneezed loudly and openly, his head snapping downwards as the shower’s stream continued to steadily pelt against his tattooed back. He blinked hard, eyes bleary as the need to sneeze lingered in his nose like an unwelcome houseguest. Instinctively he brought up a hand to hover over the lower half of his face as his breathing began to come out in shuddering, shallow gasps. “hah…Ha’TdSHhhiuew!” This one bent him double and he swore immediately afterwards, more than a little frustrated as he blew his nose harshly into his hand. Had his hayfever always been this maddening? He couldn’t remember. It had been a long time since he’d had a flare-up, probably pushing two decades at least. The thought that it had come back now during the band’s first tour just pissed him off further.

Sighing, Peter turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, reaching out for one of the worn threadbare towels from the hotel rack. He dried himself off quickly before wrapping the towel dangerously loose around his waist – the only member who had yet to see his dick was Geoffrey, and the guitarist couldn’t give less of a shit if today was the day that changed.

Wiping a hand across the fogged bathroom mirror, Peter allowed himself a moment to peer at his reflection as he dragged a hand through his damp, dark hair and threw on his glasses. His green eyes were still red-rimmed and watery, his nose and cheeks were decorated with a soft dusting of pink…he looked pathetic, but at least the shower was helping him breathe a little easier.

Residual steam billowed out into the cooler room as Peter made his way out of the bathroom, catching the eye of Maurice.

“Peter,” The singer looked up from his bag and offered the dark-haired man a small smile, taking in the other’s lean frame. “How ye fairin’?” 

“Bit better, I’d say.” Peter hummed, though a small sniffle still escaped him as he wandered over to his bag, making Maurice frown.

“Reckon you’re up for a drink?” Geoff asked, not looking up from his phone. “We were thinking of checking out this pub nearby. Interested?”

Peter mulled it over for a moment, turning his back on the others before dropping his towel and pulling on a pair of boxer-briefs. “Yeah, g’wan then.” He finally affirmed, clearing his throat against a fist as he fished an old t-shirt from his bag. “Pint’ll do me some good.”

“Are ya sure?” The singer asked, chewing on his lip nervously as Peter wiggled into a pair of jeans. “If yer not feelin’ up for it–”

“Sod off, Maurice, will you?” Chris suddenly retaliated as he pushed himself up onto his elbows. “Actin’ like you’re his bloody mum or somefin’ just cos you’re shaggin’. Prat.”

Peter couldn’t help but snort as Maurice glared daggers at Chris, his face turning a delightful shade of crimson. The fact that he and Maurice slept together on occasion wasn’t exactly a secret – their initial one-night stand was how the two had met in the first place, after all – but it wasn’t something that was often discussed amongst the group. Peter personally didn’t care, but Maurice clearly did.

“You don’t see me actin’ like a bloody bellend even though I’ve also sucked his–”

“Ça commence à bien faire!” Maurice shot up suddenly from the bed, cutting Chris off as his native tongue spilled rapidly from his mouth. “Fer the love of God, no more, thank you!” 

The singer hurriedly made a beeline for the hotel room door, grabbing his coat as he rushed past the others, his face absolutely aghast as the others snickered. “Just…hurry up, then! Christ, I need a feckin’ drink…”

“I think we all do.” Geoff huffed as Maurice stepped into the hall. “C’mon, lads. Let’s go.”

[frvnkcastles]

LIKE HEAVEN ABOVE ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: After Frank saves your life, you’re there for him through thick and thin.

Warnings: Violence, language, feminine nicknames, implied smut, mentions of death, reader is a teacher, reader wears glasses

Word count: 5.6k (wow)

Author’s note: Omggg y’all, I dug this up from my Pages app, it’s literally almost 3 years old and that’s why I’m a little nervous to post it but I thought it might actually be some of my best writing, so here we go :) It takes place through Daredevil season 2 all the way to the end of The Punisher Season 1, and I have to admit, I honestly feel like Frank was NOT ready for any kind of love interest during Daredevil but I took some creative liberties, anyway. So this is a little out of character on that front. I’m rambling, I hope you enjoy!! I’m gonna get back to your requests soon <3

Frank felt like somehow days passed by in a flurry yet every second dragged on like the worst torture he had endured — which was saying a lot considering the literal war he had gone through, and the fact he was currently lying in a hospital bed; broken, bruised and with a drilling hole in his foot. And yet waiting to see you was the one thing that got his confidence to falter, his brain to shortcircuit.

For a man so stubborn and determined to do things on his own, he had crumbled so fast when presented with the opportunity to see you again. He hadn’t even realized he had ended up caring about you so deeply, not until the blonde journalist had stepped into his room and the words just poured out of him.

”Would ya do me a favour?” Frank asked as the woman was leaving the room, his gruff voice so uncharacteristically meek and vulnerable, and therefore capable of turning her head immediately. ”Please”, he added weakly, ”my girl… I—there’s someone I need to see. Just once. Please.”

Maybe she was curious about meeting the one person who seemed to mean anything to The Punisher anymore; maybe she felt surprisingly bad for him or maybe it was both, but Karen found herself doing as he asked and tracked you down. She reached out and a few days later… you were walking down the hallways of the hospital, uncomfortably shifting the weight of your leather jacket from one arm to the other, your stomach churning in nervous anticipation.

The sight of several armed guards standing outside the room you were being walked to made you gulp, but you weren’t scared of the man inside. You were scared to see the kind of condition he was in, to fully comprehend the gravity of the situation, scared of the moment you’d have to walk out in the uncertainty if you’d ever see him again. But not him. Never him.

Something in Frank came to life when you appeared at the doorway; something he thought to be long dead and buried only for you to always revive him. He lifted his head from the worn pillows and sighed in some kind of relief, only for guilt to lodge into his heart when he saw you scanning his body.

He looked awful, no way around it. Littered in bruises so severe you could barely see his face, you struggled not to cry while looking at the multiple machines connected to him and the abundance of bandages on his tired limbs. What really got to you, though, was the handcuffs on his wrists and the straps across his chest and stomach to make sure there was no room for him to move any more than necessary to sit up and lie back down.

”Jesus…”, you sighed breathlessly, your hands beginning to shake as you walked over to him with a frown so deep it hurt his heart. He knew he might have been a selfish asshole for dragging you here, for making you see what he had tried to protect you from this whole time, for letting you get attached right before it would all go to shit, anyway. But he wasn’t strong enough to push you away. He was capable of enduring much, but he was weak when it came to you. He had tried it, at first, keeping you at arm’s length but you got under his skin in a way that was irreversible and it hurt more to resist than it did to give in. For him, anyway.

”Looks worse than it is, sweetheart”, he rasped, and with a scoff, you finally met his eyes only for the depth of them to catch you off-guard and make you choke on your own tongue. He looked just as attentive and kind as the day you had met him — you swore you’d never forget the way he had hid you behind the counter of the diner, looked right into your eyes and promised he’d make sure you’d make it to class tomorrow; what would the kids do without their teacher, after all?

”They said your foot was… that there was a…”, you stammered, hoping to counter his words with an argument that failed as soon as you tried to get it out. He had never judged you for your tendency to stutter, though, and he didn’t do it now, either. Simply nodded and let you process.

”Yeah. Yeah, there was”, he admitted quietly, licking his split lips as he watched you move to the chair next to his bed and slowly sink down. Even with all the pain in your eyes, you looked so beautiful in one of your worn band shirts and the skirt you had promptly tucked it into, your glasses heavy on your nose and the shimmer of your lipbalm like a red thread for Frank to hang onto like his life depended on it. Amidst all the chaos and ache of his recent weeks, he could just close his eyes and think back to you, and somehow he felt at peace. At least for a second.

”I wish I could… make it all better”, you whispered sadly, a lone tear rolling down your cheek as you looked at his bruised cheekbones.

Frank’s hand reached for yours only for the handcuffs to stop him, the noise of the movement alerting the guard outside the door and pulling a swear from Frank. When he settled his hand back by his side, the guard seemed to relax a little, making both of you sigh — the man wasn’t even allowed to hold your hand.

”Oh, sweetheart”, Frank whispered, ”that’s exactly what you do. You make all this shit better.” He managed a small smile as he tilted his head at you. ”I may just make it worse, but you? Christ, you…”, he struggled to put his thoughts into words, keeping you on your toes as he finally decided against it, ”I’preciate you comin’. I just, uh, I guess I wanted to see you before I get dragged into a courtroom and… yeah. Yeah, there’s no happy ending for me. But for a moment there, you helped me believe there might be”, he went on, only breaking your heart with each word.

You wiped your eyes and chuckled softly. ”You don’t give yourself enough credit, Frankie. You’ve really made things better for me, too. And you deserve a happy ending, however that might look for you”, you swore, casting your eyes at your trembling hands. ”I know it might be weird to say, but I’m grateful I met you. Life-threatening danger and all. You and everyone else may not see it the same way, but you are a good guy. You are”, you continued before sniffling and getting up from your chair enough to press a kiss on his forehead.

You were careful and gentle, unwilling to hurt him any more than he had already been hurt. Yet when you moved to pull away, Frank grunted and reached for your wrist, stopping you from leaving. For a moment, you were forehead to forehead, your lips inches away and his breath mixing with yours.

”Sit with me for a bit? Yeah?” Frank pleaded, and when you nodded, he swallowed and smiled weakly. ”That’s my girl.”

He didn’t see you again until the trial. He spotted you right there in the benches, dressed in your finest red shirt that had his thoughts running a million miles while being walked to the stand. He was dressed in a suit, too, and he almost wanted to laugh at the ridiculous thought of a date swirling in his head. Maybe, in another lifetime, that could have been reality — not him being on trial for murder with you trying to tune out the hate speech spewed at him from the other half of the courtroom.

Most of his bruises had healed by then. You found small comfort in that.

You didn’t get to tell him he looked good, though. You didn’t get to say a single thing when he was announcing his guilt with a booming roar, and the next thing you knew, he was being walked out of the courtroom with a prison sentence looming over his head. You didn’t blame him for doing what he did, and you certainly didn’t expect him to choose you over his morals. But nevertheless, you couldn’t help but cry as he was taken out of sight and you were left with the realization you may never see him again.

You were sitting outside on the steps of the courthouse when a strange hand extended a tissue for you. Just as you looked up, nearly blinded by the sunshine, you were glad you hadn’t said your thought out loud when you saw Frank’s lawyer poke his cane at the steps until he figured where to sit. He lowered himself next to you just as you took the tissue and thanked him for his kindness.

”You’re the woman”, he stated matter-of-factly, and when you turned to him in confusion, he chuckled quietly. ”I recognize your perfume. It… stuck to him”, he explained — even if his explanation remained vague — but you had no time to present any further questions when he continued. ”Frank Castle is not a talkative man. But I’ve noticed whenever he does speak, his words carry meaning. He doesn’t do small talk or state the obvious, he… he only shares what he considers important. And if that is the case, then… you are extremely important to him”, he elaborated before drawing in a deep breath and sending a small smile your way.

Your heart both broke and leaped at his words. You hadn’t exactly doubted it, but it meant a great deal to know Frank cherished you as much as you cherished him.

”And he is to me”, you returned quietly, pulling a slow nod from the man — Matt — who then turned his head at you curiously.

”If you don’t mind me asking… how does a teacher find herself with The Punisher?” he wondered, and considering it your turn to chuckle, you turned to your hands and recalled the night that had turned your life upside down.

”He saved my life. I know that’s how all the cliché fairytales go, but he did. I was at my favorite diner to get some grilled cheese after a long day of work. I was so close to making it, too, when these, uh, thugs came in. Looking for him, unsurprisingly. There was only one other person besides us and they managed to escape before the shooting began, so… Frank hid me behind the counter. He told me he’d keep me safe, that I’d get to see the kids I teach again the next day— he’d heard me talking to the cashier. He’d make sure of it. And he did. He took care of those guys and afterwards he walked me home. I—I owed him my life so I figured the least I could do was ice his knuckles. He must have been barely ten minutes in my apartment but it meant everything. We just… couldn’t get rid of each other after that”, you explained, the sunlight suddenly feeling warmer on your skin and the smile on your lips so free of worry. For a second, anyway.

Matt listened intently — not only to what you were saying, but you. And it didn’t take him long to come to a conclusion. ”You love him”, he declared, and with your head snapping towards him, you frowned.

”We haven’t—there’s nothing—”, you began, your stutter seeping through again, and Matt smiled.

”Whether or not you’ve acted on it, I can hear it. You’ve fallen in love with him”, he emphasized before humming, ”and I think, somewhere deep down underneath all that trauma and guilt and unwillingness to face the facts… he feels the same way.”

You stared at him, disbelief all over your face as you thought about Frank and all your brief touches, all your sweet words and reassuring looks.

”Could you tell him I’ll be right here? Please? Just… let him know that even if I can’t be by his side, he’s not alone”, you whispered, and although he seemed to consider it for a second, Matt ended up nodding.

”I’m sure he’s gonna need that.”

And he wasn’t wrong. Prison was no easy feat, not even for The Punisher.

He hadn’t even gotten to say goodbye to you. One moment he was sitting in court, listening to his vigilante of a lawyer speak on his behalf, and the next he was being dragged out in chains with your worried face amongst the angry civilians being the last thing he saw. And the big bad Punisher had gone so far as to beg Karen to let him see you for the second time; let you see him, but before she could even consider making it happen, he had been shoved into a white onesie and sent on his way to prison with his jagged memories trying hard to recall the last words you had spoken to him.

It had been something kind — that much he had decided on while sitting in his cell. You were always so fucking kind, and so understanding, even when he doubted he deserved it. You were a good person; a troubled one but you had weathered every storm and stuck to your morals, and he admired that to no end. You didn’t have a judgmental bone, not a single ounce of hatred for anyone who didn’t deserve it, sometimes not even those who did. He thought that maybe he was unworthy of your friendship and sympathy sometimes, but you gave it to him anyway, without question and without expectation. You liked him for who he was, not who he had been, and you didn’t try to change his mind and steer his path.

At least he had the message Red had passed onto him to keep him going.

It was those unexplainably good-hearted intentions of yours and the unconditional support he hadn’t realized he missed so much, that made him fall in love with you. He struggled with it for a while, wondering if he was ready; if he should have felt guilty, but eventually the desire to keep you safe and the longing to hold you close became too evident to ignore.

And he truly knew when one of the assholes he had put down had taunted him about his lady, only for his mind to go to you instead of Maria.

He had been writing a letter to you when his heart-pouring onto paper was interrupted by a taunting laugh outside his cell. ”Writing a love letter to your lady?” one of the gang members in his block teased, and with a grit in his teeth, Frank forced himself to not pick a fight — a successful attempt until the burly man went on. ”Would be a shame if anyone got their hands on your girl now that you ain’t out there to protect—”, he continued, his words cut off with a wheeze when Frank clamored out of his seat and promptly stabbed the pen into his neck. It was a good thing he had already signed the letter.

Realistically, he knew it may have been an empty threat. Nonetheless, as soon as he was out of prison, the letter tucked in the pocket of his jacket, he made his way to you. Making you were safe was priority number one — and if he’d get the chance to hand over the envelope and open his heart to you… Well, that would just be the cherry on top. He had promised to get out and tell you how he felt, to stop being a coward and admit that he wanted to be there for you, that he loved you, and that was exactly what he planned on doing.

Although, things never went exactly as planned.

He had so much determination and courage in his heart when he knocked on your door, but as soon as you opened it and your short figure appeared right in front of him, it all drained from his system. All he was left with was bare amazement and the reserved hope that you’d still welcome him into your home — he knew he had burned more than enough bridges with his little stunt in court, and he had spent many sleepless nights wondering if he had scared you off, too. That worry only now flared into a genuine fear as he watched astonishment wipe across your face, his own expression meek and his large body trying to shrink on itself to seem less intimidating.

”Hey, sweetheart”, he managed, his voice raspy as ever, his dark eyes scanning your face and trying to make sense of the speechless trance you had been stunned into.

It was justified, of course. Who would expect a convicted criminal on their doorstep?

That wasn’t exactly what was on your mind, though. You had never doubted that Frank would get back up somehow; he couldn’t be kept down — but you couldn’t believe he had come to you. A man like him surely had places to be, people to kill, things to do and somehow… he was right there in front of you in all his glory, not bleeding out and in need of stitches, either. Just… there.

You didn’t realize how emotional the sight of him had gotten you until you opened your mouth and the words escaped you with a choke. ”Is it okay if I hug you?” you cracked, and with a deep, even relieved sigh, Frank let his tense shoulders drop and his head bob in a nod as he opened his arms.

He welcomed you gladly, his big arms winding around your smaller body to encompass you against his entirely. He realized then that you were wrapped up in one of the hoodies he had left behind, his confidence boosting but his heart breaking just a little at the thought of you sitting at home alone in his clothes, comforted by his scent and wondering if he’d ever come back to you. And right there and then, he knew he had made the right choice in doing so.

”I missed you”, you whispered into his chest, your heart doing somersaults at the firmness of it, your eyes fallen shut as you breathed him in and basked in his warmth and all his rough edges that only confirmed he was real and not a figment of your imagination, not a daydream, even if he had occupied nearly all of them for the past months.

”Missed ya too, girl”, he muttered into your hair, and as he held you there, grateful to have you again, the doubt began creeping in and the letter in his pocket started to seem like a bad idea. What if it would simply push you away, just when he got you in his arms?

Swallowing, he then decided maybe it was better not to bring it up.

”Hey, I, uh…”, he cleared his throat when you stepped back to welcome him into your apartment. He treaded carefully, like any second now you’d change your mind and turn him away — and he wouldn’t blame you, either. Trouble followed him wherever he went, and yet he couldn’t stop himself from coming to you every time. ”Look, there’s… a lot going on, y’know? Some shit might go down and I just…”, he continued, uncertain of his own words as his gaze fell to the nervously fiddling hands in front of him, ”I don’t want ya to look at the news and rethink the kinda guy I am, y’know?”

Chuckling, you shook your head at him. ”The news couldn’t change my mind about you, Frankie”, you reassured in a way that had his chest tightening. ”You’re my friend and—and a good guy, even if with… unique methods. But you are. Just because you have blood on your hands, doesn’t make you a bad man”, you went on, but he could tell you were nervous, too. He just couldn’t see past himself enough to understand it wasn’t fear making you tremble.

”I think you are loyal and sweet and protective and… capable of making people feel safe and appreciated. When I’m with you, I feel respected and understood. Never judged or unsafe”, you added, and with an amazed twinkle in his dark eyes, Frank looked up at you. Jesus, that was exactly how he felt around you. His lungs and throat were screaming at him to just tell you, but instead, he gave you a doubtful tilt of his head.

”You’re not scared?” he confirmed quietly, and with a small smile, you gave him a look.

”I’m not scared of you, Frank. I’m…”, you breathed in, hesitating before widening your smile and shaking your head, ”I’m not scared.” What you really wanted to tell was that you were nervous because you liked him — loved him. But you never felt threatened by him.

”Good”, he swallowed, defiance suddenly ablaze in his eyes as he seemed to relax. ”’Cause I’d never hurt ya. Shit, you make me wanna…”, he laughed, unsure where he was going with that thought. ”I just wanna keep you safe, sweetheart. Look after you”, he finished with a sigh, the kind that knew he was officially in too deep. You got him good.

”Then I’ll look after you, too”, you promised, gesturing at his hands, ”starting with those knuckles of yours.”

He was almost amused, but when you seriously dug a small tube of hand cream from your bag and began rubbing the lotion onto his bruised hands, all he could do was stare at you, completely enamored by your kindness and the feeling of your gentle hands tending to his damaged ones.

It was almost ironic, really — you were gentle, he was damaged. In your mind, it was the other way around, and maybe that was why it worked. You were different in so many ways but the bare essentials were still there, making you an undeniable match even if neither of you were brave enough to say it out loud right now. But him being in your apartment and you lotioning his calloused hands spoke in volumes, reassuring you both that it was safe like this.

He hadn’t been wrong, though. Shit hit the fan fast and in a matter of days, Frank Castle was a dead man as far as the world was concerned.

Before that, though, he was coaxed further into the realization of just how important you were to him. He was used to nightmares, in fact, he anticipated them each night. And yet, that night, his hands still smelling like your vanilla lotion, he found himself dreaming of you, your big smile, your sweet laugh and your soft lips.

Jesus Christ, he wanted you so bad. All of you.

It was a little harder to go about his mission then. You occupied his mind constantly now, and he began to resent himself for being such a coward and not giving you the letter, after all.

And when he jumped off an exploding ship, he wondered if he’d ever get the chance to tell you. Once he made it out in one piece, he decided he couldn’t risk losing the opportunity again.

You had just seen the news on the TV, and as badly as you wanted to believe no body meant no death, your stomach was twisting and turning. The idea of Frank being gone, just like that, was one that began chipping at your sanity. Thankfully, you didn’t get to sit with it for very long when there was a knock on your door, and you practically ran to open it, never more relieved to see the hunk of a man.

You tugged him into your apartment and sealed the door behind him before hugging him tight, on the verge of tears as you felt his firm body against yours and consoled yourself. He was there. He was alive. Well? Debatable.

”I’m okay, sweetheart, ’m okay. Can’t get rid of me that easy”, he chuckled darkly, his heart skipping a beat when you pulled away and looked right into his eyes. You looked so beautiful yet so vulnerable, and he couldn’t put his feelings into words when he realized he had gotten you so worked up. He hated to cause you any pain, but to know you cared that much?

”Shit…”, he breathed, licking his lips as he gently placed a hand on your jaw and groaned. ”C’mere”, he whispered before leaning down to kiss you, both your eyes closing as he placed his lips on yours, deep and tentative. You melted closer to him, your hands resting on his vest while he cupped your face and kissed you hard, breathing you in and reveling in the taste and feeling of you.

It was better than he had imagined, all anger and hatred leaving his system for the fleeting moment when he got to have just you, nothing else.

He wanted to take his sweet time with you but the yearning was too great to contain. In no time, you were lying on your back on your mattress with Frank on top of you, trying to hold back some of his weight as he kissed your neck and unzipped your skirt. He muttered words of praise and flattery against your soft skin, eyes blown wide with genuine admiration when he kissed his way down to your thighs and made you repeat his name in desperate begs and pleas.

A part of him was sure he was dreaming again, your head rested upon his bare chest, his fingers carding through your hair as you listened to his heartbeat and basked in the afterglow of the hours spent together. It was the middle of the night by now, the sounds of city never fully gone but toned down, your bed feeling like a safe haven amidst all the chaos around you both.

But Frank knew there was no permanent escape from what he had reshaped his life into. The thing was, you didn’t want to be an escape — you wanted to be part of it.

Nevertheless, he spoke up gruffly. ”Y’know I can’t stay, right?” he was quiet, his words a weak whisper, like a shameful confession he didn’t want the world to know. ”I mean, I’mma be with you tonight if you’ll let me, but I… I can’t leave things unfinished. The world thinks ’m dead, y’know, that’s just… It’s an advantage and I just—”, he went on, but you interjected with a nod and your hand smoothing up and down his chest soothingly.

”I know. I understand”, you promised before kissing his collarbone softly, ”I know, Frank. You don’t need to explain any more than you want to.”

He swallowed then, trying to muster up the courage to say what had been on his mind for so long. ”I, uh, I can’t ask you to hold out hope for me, but uh… I just want you to know…”, he tried to find the right words, licking his lips nervously before sighing and burying his face in your hair with a somber kiss. ”You don’t owe me shit. But you’re the best thing to happen to me in a long time. Look, I gotta do my thing, but I don’t want you to think it’s easy to walk away from you because, fuck… I don’t wanna lose ya, sweetheart”, he explained further, making you smile against his scarred skin.

”I will always hold out hope for you, Frank. My door will always be open for you”, you replied simply, and even though you didn’t elaborate further, it was all he needed to hear. Just knowing you weren’t ready to give up on him.

And that was why he wasn’t going to do it, either.

He kept in touch in whatever small, Frank-esque ways he could. A note on your door, a novelty mug on your windowsill, a comforting message from an unknown number. Sometimes all you had was the remains of his aftershave enveloped in the sweaters he had left behind, or the slander of his name on the news even when he was presumed dead — it was small but it reminded you that he was, in fact, alive, and as long as he was that, then you had faith that one day he’d be back on your doorstep.

Sometimes he felt like an irredeemable asshole for making you wait for him. If only you had the chance, you would have told him to get his head out of his ass — you had fallen for him, and whether he wanted you to be there or not, you would have thought about him, worried over him, longed for him. He could have tried to distance himself from you if he wanted to, but he was so deeply entwined into your life by now that all the roots simply couldn’t be plucked out anymore.

And he may have been stubborn, but he wasn’t stupid. Knowing how he felt about you, how being away from you made him ache, he suspected you shared the yearning and he knew that trying to push you away wouldn’t have healed either of you from it. So he kept in contact however he could, but not too close to keep his enemies off your trail.

You checked the news every day. And when you saw Billy Russo’s face plastered across your screen, his arrest making the headlines, you knew it was a good day.

Accordingly, there was promptly a knock on your door, and you felt your heart soar as you peeked through the peephole and saw the only man worth waiting for on the other side. You swung the door open, and in an instant, a smile stretched across his bruised face as he help up a bouquet of daffodils, making you grin, too.

”Hey, sweetheart”, he murmured, pulling you into a hug that shut off your senses from everything but him — all you smelled, felt and heard was him, your systems threatening to fail as you clung onto him like your life depended on it and felt his lips leave soft kisses on your forehead and hair. ”There ya are. As goddamn beautiful as I remembered”, he whispered, relieved to be holding you again, even a little proud of himself for making it here.

It wasn’t like he needed the extra motivation on all those long nights away — avenging his family was all the fuel he craved, but knowing that at the end of it all, he had someone to fall back on, encouraged him even more.

”I could say the same about you”, you chuckled while pulling away enough to place a gentle hand on his face and observe all the purple and yellow markings left there. It was obvious he had taken a beating, but if the news was to be trusted, Billy had suffered a fate much worse. And despite all the slowly healing scars on Frank’s sharp features, he was alive, and he was right there for you to admire and tend to.

”This ugly mug?” he snorted while kicking the door shut and pushing his hood off of his head, his hair grown out again and begging for your fingers to run through. Regardless of the mangled appearance, though, he seemed almost hopeful, a small smile playing on his lips as he looked down at you with a twinkle in his dark eyes. He seemed exhausted physically, but mentally, a little less tired. And that made you indescribably happy for him.

”I’m proud of you”, you breathed out, a smile crawling to your own face, ”you did what you needed to do, right? You… you did good. You deserve to rest now.”

Frank looked a little taken aback by your words. Not in a bad way, but it was obvious no one had told him before nor had he expected anyone to. But the quiet chuckle that rose from his throat was genuinely flattered, as was the squint of his eyes as he leaned forward and gave you a tiny nod.

”Thank you, sweetheart. Really”, he rasped before taking in a deep breath, ”any chance I’d, uh, get to rest here? With you?” The look in his eyes was almost boyish, almost nervous, and it made your heart soar the same way his gaze had the first night you had met.

”Always, Frankie”, you promised before placing a hand on his chest and beaming up at him, ”I was hoping you’d say that.”

He licked his lips and looked down at you, hand coming to your neck tenderly with his thumb brushing across your chin. ”I feel like shit for the way I left you back then. I, uh, I hope you didn’t feel like I was just… tryna get in your bed, y’know? It was more than that to me. You are more than that to me. It’s, I dunno, hard for me to put it into words but I care about ya. More than I have about anyone in a long time, I guess”, he explained awkwardly, but you didn’t doubt his sincerity for a single second.

You leaned up to briefly kiss him, and the way he leaned forward to get more made your stomach churn. Nevertheless, you pulled apart to speak your turn, your smaller hand still resting on his bruised cheek.

”I know. I never doubted it. And I don’t expect you to be anyone else but you. I want you as you, Frank”, you reassured, and with a heavy sigh, he dropped his forehead to yours.

”Girl… I want you”, he urged, and you smiled as he briefly touched your lips with the tip of his finger.

”I’m all yours, Frankie.”

[samkerrworshipper]

togetherness | pt.2

part 1. | part 2. | part 3. | part 4. | part 5 |

longawaited and has been sitting in my drafts for weeks now cause i wasn’t quite sure if i liked the direction it’s gone in… but highliting different issues n stuff so i hope y’all enjoy! again i’ve edited this on my phone whilst reading from my kindle lol so not going to lie i’m aware that the editing could be shocking… there’s a few more parts sitting in my drafts so lmk if y’all want more

warnings: child exploitation, themes of sexual assault of minors, just general hurt with protective n supportive tillies

“Now that we’ve settled that, is there anything, anything at all that you’d like to tell me that I could help you with?”

I gulped, there were about six things I could think of just off the top of my head. I was tentative though. I could feel tears starting to form in the back of my eyes as I tried to make the decision in my head.

“No judgement?”

Sam’s immediate nod in response was comforting and apparently enough to get me talking.

“It’s going to sound stupid and I don’t even know what you could do about it considering that I’m probably somewhere in the wrong with it as well.”

Sam looked like a mixture of intrigued and perplexed.

“Y/n, even if I can’t do anything about it, you look like you just need to get it off your chest, I can be that for you as well, just tell me what’s been bothering you so much.”

I sniffled and nodded at Sam, this situation was so abnormally vulnerable for me.

“You know that I was rough around the edges when I got here, I know you haven’t heard the whole story, to put it simply I went through a rough patch when I was 14 and 15, before I got here. I’d just had spine surgery, I thought that I was never going to walk again, let alone play football. I turned to a lot of things, drugs, alcohol, anything. I ran away when I was 14, I don’t remember much of it, just that when I returned home my parents had had enough and they sent me off to the AIS for Tony to train me. Anyways, I’m rambling. Somewhere along the road I sent some explicit videos, photos and texts to my ex boyfriend, graphic ones, there’s a lot of them. He’s been posting them on reddit and twitter and they haven’t gotten any attention yet but with all the media coverage and bad press I’ve had recently I’m worried they are going to be brought up and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Sam’s expression was one thing, completely deflated and shocked. She was typing furiously into her phone whilst she was listening to my story. It took a few minutes of silence for her to reply to me.

“First off I want to start off with telling you how grateful I am for you sharing that information with me, it can’t have been easy and you are incredibly brave for telling me. I’ve got some follow up questions that I need to ask, you don’t have to answer them, I’d just appreciate it if you could try your best, okay?”

I nodded quickly in reply to Sam.

“Okay. How old were you when you sent these videos and how old was your boyfriend at the time?”

“I was 14 or 15, he was in his mid twenties.”

“So that puts him in his late 20s or early 30s right now, if my maths is correct. Did you take these photos and videos or did someone else?”

“I took most of them but he took some.”

Sam nodded at me again.

“Okay based on that question I can tell you that this ex boyfriend of yours is legally in possession of child pornography, that’s an indictable crime. If you want this to well and truly stop then we can go up that path. I want us to talk about this with Tony, it’s ultimately your decision but I think it would be very sensible to take this up with him at the very least. Y/n, you have done absolutely nothing wrong, I need to stress to you how important it is that you understand that. No one is going to blame this on you, because it isn’t your fault, you are a victim of a crime. That isn’t something light. I promise you that I have your best interests in concern when I’m telling you this. I have to ask, have you talked to anyone else about this? Your family? A therapist? A friend? Leah?”

Leah Williamson, my arsenal team captain and my best friend/mom/girlfriend. I shook my head at Sam, I’d wanted to tell Leah, she was the only person I probably trusted enough to tell but I hadn’t seen her in weeks.

“Do you want to talk to someone about it?”

“I was going to talk to Lee about it, eventually. Just with her ACL and us being in different places it didn’t make much sense, plus this stuff is so fucking stupid I didn’t want to bother anyone with it, I’m sorry for bothering you with it, Ellie was right I’m being fucking selfish.”

Sam’s face was unreadable, it was clear she was pretty deep in thought. She sat across from me for a few minutes, in thought, before she stood up and walked around the table, sitting herself down beside me.

“Can I give you a hug?”

I nodded and relaxed a little bit as I felt Sam’s arm snake its way across my shoulders, inevitably bringing me closer to her and into her chest.

“Williamson would want you to tell her, she’ll probably be mad that you didn’t tell her earlier. You are not being a bother to anyone, you have human emotions and this situation you are in is a hard one. You aren't being selfish, you are asking for help, which is a very human thing and you very clearly need it right now, there is nothing wrong with that. Now, how about I call Williamson for you, I’ll see you if you can get down here? I’m going to call Tony down here, I’ll brief him and he’ll help, okay?”

“I don’t want to tell Tony, he’s going to be mad and he’ll probably tell me this kind of behaviour isn’t wanted on his team and then I’ll get sent home.”

I could feel the material of Sam’s jumper that she must have thrown on after training soaking up my tears, that was embarrassing.

“I know you don’t want to, and I can promise you that Tony is going to be nothing but supportive, you’ve done nothing wrong. There is nothing illegal about what you did, now or then. Tony is not going to send you home, I promise. Now, do I need to call Williamson or can you do it?”

Realistically I probably could have, but I really didn’t want to.

“Can you?”

Sam nodded at me immediately, which comforted me a little bit.

“I wouldn’t have offered it if I couldn’t. She should be in Sydney right now to watch the Lionesses play tomorrow night, yeah? I’ll talk to her and we’ll see what we can work out for you. I don’t have her number though, so can you call her on your phone and I’ll talk to her.”

I nodded quickly, shakingly pulling my phone out of my pocket and pushing it out onto the table. I very quickly pulled Leah's contact, I’d called her last night so it wasn’t hard to find. She was the only person in the world that I could talk to when I was at my lowest, the only person who actually cared about me. So last night, whilst I was mid panic attack, on Ellie's and I’s ensuite floor I called her and she’d talked me through it. I should have told her then, it probably would have saved me this whole interaction with Sam, but I hadn’t wanted to worry her anymore, so I blamed it on pressure of being selected to start this week and she’d accepted my answer.

We’d been texting most of the morning, her asking me if I’d gotten sleep and if I was feeling alright, I’d answered shortly with an array of 'yes', because I didn’t want to worry her anymore. I passed the phone over to Sam once I found her phone number and she clicked the call button before pressing the phone up to her ear and standing up from her seat, starting to pace between the seats.

“Hey Leah, this is Sam, Sam Kerr, from the Matildas. Look, I’m here at our Sydney training facility with Y/n, we’ve just had a pretty serious conversation with her about some problems that she’s had recently and I was wondering if you were around so you could be here for her.”

Sam pulled out her own phone again as I assumed she listened to Leah’s response. It amazed me as to how fast her fingers danced across her own screen, it was a different kind of multi tasking.

“Yup, Mmm. Alright, I’ll send you the address, it’s not far from you guys hotel from recollection. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you being able to do this for her, I’ll see you soon and we can talk about it then.”

I gulped as Sam said her farewells and then hung up the phone before walking back over to me.

“She’s coming down, should be here in fifteen or so. She sounded worried about you, mentioned something about you having a panic attack to her on the phone last night and that she was concerned about you. I’ve texted Tony, he’s finishing up with Ellie and then he’s going to be down here. I’m going to get Steph to meet Leah downstairs when she gets here and she’ll bring her up, Y/n, we’re all here to support you however you need, alright?”

Me and Sam stayed silent in the room until about ten minutes later there was a distinct knock against the door.

“Sam, it’s me, unlock the door.”

Steph’s voice was pretty distinct, even through the heavy door. Sam stood up almost immediately, walking to the door and unlocking it before a grumpy looking Steph and a flustered version of Leah made their way through the doorway before Sam had the opportunity to relock it. Leah’s eyes went straight to my own, her whole facial expression was very controlled, she could command an entire room with that face, I knew from experience.

“Are you okay?”

Her words were directed at me, and only me. I pressed my tongue against my front teeth and lip, trying to decide how to answer the question.

“There’s some stuff that’s been happening that I haven’t told you, I’m not in trouble, or at least that’s what Sam is telling me. It’s some stuff from my past, when I was a kid. Explicit images and photos, on the internet, from when I was a kid. They popped up a few weeks ago, starting when I was in Spain with you before we came here. I didn’t bring it up because I thought I was at fault for it as much as the person who has possession of them. Sam told me that it isn’t, that I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m sorry, I know it was fucking stupid and I should have told you about it or not done it, I don’t even remember taking any of the photos or videos, it just happened and now I don’t know what to do because I don’t want it getting out to the public and I just, I don’t know how to deal with it.”

Leah’s face relaxed a little bit as I progressively talked and rambled. Once I was done she walked over to my spot, seated on one of the chairs and wrapped her arms around me.

“Hey, it’s alright, we’re going to sort this out. She’s right, you didn’t do anything wrong and you should have told me earlier but I am so grateful that you are telling me now, yeah? You are so brave kiddo, that’s child exploitation and whoever has possession of those materials is the one who’s in the wrong, okay?”

I nodded into Leah, Steph and Sam were whispering between each other behind us.

“You have to take legal action though.”

Those words made me feel like I’d been stabbed and my guts had been ripped out of my body cavity.

Leah let go of me very gently and pursed her lips.

“Because this isn’t going to go away if you don’t, and I know that you are strong but you aren’t going to be able to live if you know that this person who has possession of these materials is still out there. You’ve been checked out for weeks now, since before Mallorca. You aren’t going to check back into your life until this goes, I know it. I need you checked in, I need you to be my girl, not the skeleton of your own body that you inhabit as a coping mechanism when something bad happens.”

I think Leah would have said more if it wasn’t for the incessant knocking against the door that came again. Sam was the one who went to the door again, letting Tony in. He looked flustered as well, and a little bit worried. I’d known the man since I was 15, he’d seen me in some pretty interesting situations. Sam intercepted him before he could say anything, pulling him aside and giving him what I assumed to be the rundown of the last hour.

“I don’t think I can handle this getting out, it will, if I take legal action this is going to get out and then I’m going to be Y/n Y/l/n, the Matilda’s exploitative rookie and I’ll never be back here. My career will be over, Jonas won’t want me back, everything I've worked for will be done.”

Leah took a deep breath before wrapping her arms around me and working her hands through my scalp and hair.

“If you take legal action you will be supported, I’ll make sure of it. We are a part of a community of women that uplift us for everything you do, this won’t be any different. There will be some who judge, there is always going to be someone there to judge you. Y/n, you need to do this for your sanity, I won’t lose you to your mental health again, not like last year. Kerr has done the right thing here, bringing this up, it shows me that she cares a lot more about you then you think, it also shows me that she knows what’s best for this team and you. She wouldn’t be doing this if she didn’t think this was the best course of action.”

I nodded into Leah, trying to convince myself that her words were correct. Eventually, after Sam had given Tony the full rundown he sat down across from me, exactly where Sam had been beforehand. Sam and Steph both stood behind me and Leah, Sam’s arms resting gently on my shoulders, it was grounding.

“Sam’s told me about what’s happening. First of all I want to say how sorry I am that you are going through this, it’s not something that anyone should have to deal with, ever. Second of all I want to let you know that this team, this whole nation is in support of you. Look, it’s too late for me to take any action now. I’m going to get the police to come down tomorrow morning, you aren’t in trouble. I just think that they are going to have a better understanding of this situation than any of us could. They’ll come down, we’ll have a talk about all of this, they’ll ask the questions they need to. We don’t need to make any decisions now, we’ll talk to them, Sam and I will be there to advocate for you. After that we can make decisions about taking legal action and whatnot. Otherwise I just wanted to tell you genuinely, from the bottom of my heart how much we all care about you and value you here, we are all going to be here for whatever you need in the future, you are a valued part of this team and family and we are all here to look out for your needs, okay?”

I gulped, I could feel fresh tears springing to my eyes again. I was petrified of the police, to say the least, but Tony’s voice was so reassuring. He was the father that I’d never had and when I was 15 and he’d met me I’d been in a bad place, I’d needed him to be that figure in my life and he had been. He gave me a routine, gave me something to wake up for every morning. I probably wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for Tony. He’d given me a chance when no one else had been prepared to and for that I would always be in debt to him for.

“Okay, I’ll get in contact with the police, we’ll get a constable down tomorrow morning and we can have an open conversation with them about it, you are not in trouble, nothing is going to happen that will end in consequences for you. I think though that you need to head back to the hotel and get some proper sleep, your body needs it. So head back, don’t worry about any of this, because I’m going to sort it out and we’ll talk about it in the morning with a clean slate and mindset, alright?”

I nodded at Tony, I didn’t really have much to say.

“Thank you Coach.”

He nodded at me, before standing up and walking around to the other side of the octoval table and giving me a pat on the back.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, don’t worry about this anymore, it’s going to be okay. Get back to the hotel, we’ve got an early wakeup tomorrow.”

I nodded at Coach, watching as he left the room just as quickly as he’d entered it.

“I’ve talked to Steph, her and I are rooming together so we’ll switch, she’ll stay with Ellie and you can come and room in with me, I think we’ll keep it that way for the rest of the tournament.”

I looked over at Sam, nodding along with what she was saying. Leah reached her arms around me, a big bear hug.

“And I am here, I expect you to check in with me, at least twice a day. When you guys head off to Melbourne or Brisbane I’m not going to be able to be there, so I need you to stay in contact with me, okay? Anybody does so much as look at you wrong I want to be the first to know, okay?”

I nodded at Leah, half in fear, half in adoration. She was the only person in the world that I actually trusted in. Our bond had been forced, when I’d moved to London to play for Arsenal I’d been moved into the spare room in her apartment and in a very short amount of time we’d created a bond that extended beyond the realm of friendship. I loved her, she was the first person besides Tony to give me a chance and he was obligated to give me on, Leah had chosen to fight for me and to stick by my side even when it wasn’t easy, she was a good person, better than I was sure I’d ever be.

“We’ll drop you back to your hotel on our way home Williamson, it’s the least we could do considering you got here so quickly, can you just give us five minutes to grab our things from the locker room?”

Sam’s voice held no room for argument, she was insisting on giving Leah a ride home and Leah didn’t try to object.

“Please, call me Leah and if it’s no trouble I would really appreciate it. I can meet you guys down in the foyer in about five, I need to go to the loo, so whilst I’m doing that how about you guys go and get your stuff together?”

Sam, Steph and I all walked back down to the change rooms in a comfortable silence. It was when we actually made it back to the rooms that I realised I still had my boots on, the cleats that were spotless from not even getting any wear at training. The cleats that a few hours ago had seemed impossible to tie up. I made quick business of pulling them off of my feet, throwing them into my kit bag and pulling out the pair of Nike dunks that I’d worn in earlier when we’d all come down here for our match analysis. Sam and Steph both made quick work off slipping out of their training kits and changing into sweat pant duos that matched with me. After they’d gotten changed and refreshed we all grabbed our bags and whatever other things we had lying around before making our way down to the foyer.

Leah was waiting for us, tapping her foot violently against the marble floors. When she spotted the three of us out of the corner of her eye her stress ceased almost immediately. I’d learnt a lot about Leah in the amount of time I’d known her. One thing about England’s captain was that she was not as fearless as everyone credited her as being, she put on a brave face, a bloody good one, but she was just as human as everyone else and sometimes it showed, especially when she felt uncomfortable in a situation or she didn’t think she deserved to be where she was. I’d moved in with her initially just before she'd led the Lionesses to their victory at the euro’s, and at the time Leah had been a basket case to be nice. I think that was how we’d bonded, through our similar insecurities of not being good enough to fill the shoes that had been passed down to us.

“C’mon cap, let’s get going.”

Leah smiled at me and nodded. We’d been keeping our relationship under wraps for a few months now. Neither of us were insecure in our situation and we were happy to enjoy our private, happy and blessed life together. Plus we hadn’t really seen much of each other in the past month or so, being caught up with our obligations to our national teams. Leah was also very committed to her rehab and I couldn’t be there for every step of that so we’d spent some time apart. We’d both agreed when the new Arsenal season rolled around that we’d tell the team, but still keep it under wraps from the public for as long as we could. Neither of us were worried about the public finding out, I was out, had been since I was 14. Leah wasn’t officially but she’d also never dated a man and in the eyes of the female soccer world that pretty much means you're gay. It would come out when it did and we were prepared for that to happen.

We walked out to Steph’s car, piling all of our bags in the boot before Sam and Steph slid into the passenger and drivers seats whilst Leah and I both took seats in the backseat. Somewhere along in the drive her hand made its way to my own, resting gently on top of my knee cap. I interlocked our fingers and smiled up at her, this was the part of a secret relationship that I liked, getting moments just between the two of you that only the two of you understood. The sweet nothings. I felt my heart plummet a little bit as we arrived out the front of Leah’s hotel and I realised that I was going to have to say goodbye, potentially for a few more weeks. That was the suckish part of being a professional athlete messing around with another professional athlete, there wasn’t always a timeline on when you’d see each other next, sometimes it was just situational.

I made the call to walk Leah to the door of the hotel, when we got to the doors I gave her a hug, a big, long hug. She hugged me back, tightly. Leah was good at hugs. When we finally had to come apart I looked up at her, with my big green eyes and apparently she couldn’t resist because she reached down and honoured me with a peck. It was nothing more, a small gesture but to me it was everything.

“I love you okay, be safe, text me, call me. I am always here for you, don’t keep me in the dark on things that you think are going to burden me, they aren’t, call your therapist, please.”

I nodded at Leah, she was using her captain's voice with me that she knew I couldn’t refuse.

“When you get back to the hotel I expect you to eat some proper food, not of those bloody granola bars that you insist are nutritional, proper food. Hydrate, at least a litre of water. Sleep, you deserve to sleep, let yourself sleep. Call me in the morning and tell me how you are feeling, okay?”

I gulped and nodded at Leah, an action that I was becoming aware I might have done too much of tonight.

“Love you too, thank you for being here for me.”

“Anytime, I’m only ever one call away, now go home.”

I gave Leah one final look before walking back to the car, closing the door behind me only to be bombarded with googly eyes from the two co captains sitting in the front of the car.

“You and Williamson?”

Sam’s voice was the first one to break the sound barrier, it scared me a little bit.

“Yeah.”

I made it sound like it was a non fact, like every person on the planet knew that I was in the bed sheets of the Lionesses Captain.

“Fuck, I knew it, McCabe owes me fifty quid.”

Steph’s voice was steadier and surprised me a little bit.

“We all had bets, how long have you guys been together?”

“We’ve been dating for 6 or 8 months, fucking around with each other since I joined Arsenal so about a year or so.”

Steph’s eyebrows rose to the top of her forrid, obviously very surprised by my answer.

“You're trying to tell me that you and Lee have just casually been hiding a relationship behind closed doors for months.”

“I mean we’re roommates, it wasn’t that hard to hide, plus we just aren’t rabbits who need to fuck on every surface unlike Sam and fucking Kristie, I’m never going to be able to mentally burn the image of you two getting at it on the pool table after the olympics, that was fucking traumatic.”

Sam’s face had flushed, we constantly brought it up with her. After our bronze loss to the US in the olympics a lot of the team had gone out in celebration with the Americans, what I hadn’t expected to find that night when I’d walked into the room that I thought was the bathroom was Sam eating her secret girlfriend out on the table. It had messed with my brain permanently.

“Hey you're the one who’s always bringing it up, maybe you were secretly into it, secret fantasy between you and Williamson.”

I loudly gagged from my spot in the backseat, extremely displeased by Sam’s imaginative imagery.

“Nobody thinks that Sam, it’s just you and all of your lost brain cells.”

There was something so comfortable about the dynamic between Sam and Steph, something so sisterly and bonded. They were like family, they messed around with each other and pushed each other but they loved each other and the both of them knew that at the end of the day. They might not have been the closest on the team, they weren’t each other's best friends but they were family and that was all that mattered.

“Whatever you say Stephy.”

[obsessedelusional]

Bella’s Streamer Girlfriend

paring ✦ Bella Ramsey x fem!reader

summary ✦ Bella is exhausted from their constant travel for work. As her partner who just so happens to be a famous streamer you suggest they move in with you. What happens when Bella accidentally goes live showing you streaming? this is a request

word count ✦ 2,202

authors note ✦ hope y’all enjoy appreciate everyone one of you ilyyyyyy

masterlist

Feedback & Reblogs are helpful and extremely appreciated ♡

“Why don’t you just move in with me?” You suggest, a thought you’ve had for several months now just now finally making it out into existence. Bella had been fretting over how tiring all the travel has become.

“What?” Bella asks.

“Well we’ve been dating for two years and you’re always here anyways so..” Your voice trails off thinking you’ve said too much.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah I mean there’s not much room but we’ll figure it out. We can move my stream set up into the guest bedroom.” Bella doesn’t respond fast enough causing you to panic. Before you can ramble some more or even worse take it back she responds.

“Yes.” Bella says nodding her head.

“Yes? Like yes you want move in with me?”

“Yes.” She grins softly realizing what she’s just agreed to. Bella closes the distance between you two throwing her arms around your waist. Hugging you, slightly elevating you from the ground emitting laughter from you.

“How wicked? I get to live in LA with my beatuiful streamer girlfriend?”

—

Bella was the first to make a move two years ago. After finding out they got the role of Ellie in The Last of Us tv adaptation they poorly attempted to play the game. After failing the first part several times they opened YouTube. Your video of you playing the original game long ago is the first one.

Their attraction to you is immediate. Binging your videos lead to a follow on instagram. No idea who Bella Ramsey was but you followed back anyways seeing they were verified. Finding them attractive and your beliefs aligning with theirs so proudly displayed on their profile. Bella is silent with their crush on you until one fateful day.

An interview after Bella’s announced to play Ellie:

“Fans are so excited to see this iconic game come to life on television. Did you know anything about the game before your audition?”

“I knew of it. Like I had heard about it before but I never played it myself.” Bella responds to the interviewer.

“Have you played it yet?”

“No. I tried to but I’m not really a gamer. I played the first twenty minutes before giving up and watching gameplay.”

“Gameplay?”

“Yeah uh this girl on YouTube. Her name is Y/N. Shout out to her cause I watched her play the game. She’s a twitch streamer. She was so good at the game and she’s really…” Bella’s stops talking mid sentence as they realize they’ve said too much.

—

It’s an late night as you live stream. Just chatting with viewers before you hop into the lobby when your feed gets flooded with comments about Bella talking about you.

“Bella Ramsey? Sounds familiar. What did they say?” Your busy scrolling through chat and racking your brain trying to connect the dots.

“It’s Ellie Williams in the tv adaptation.” You say out loud reading a chat. One of your mods sends you the link so you can react to it live on your stream.

“Should I watch it? Everyone’s saying yes. Okay I will react to it.” The link opens up to a YouTube video of a zoom meeting type interview. As the video plays you recognize the short haired brunette as the random famous person that followed you on instagram months ago.

“There’s no way. I didn’t know they were playing Ellie.” You smile watching your screen not paying much attention to chat. It gets to the point where Bella mentions watching gameplay instead of actually playing the game.

“Yeah uh this girl on YouTube. Her name is Y/N.” Bella says in the video.

“That’s me!” You shout, pausing the video. Pressing play when you’re done freaking out.

“Yeah uh this girl on YouTube. Her name is Y/N. Shout out to her cause I watched her play the game. She’s a twitch streamer. She was so good at the game and she’s really…” Bella doesn’t finish their sentence, eyes go wide and their the one to quickly change the subject.

“And really what? What am I Bella?” You pause reading chat. People letting you know all the things you are.

“User2643556 says I’m beautiful, sexy, and amazing. Am I Bella?” You tease, your tone innocent yet flirty.

“Oh what about this Justin says I’m a stupid wanna be gamer. Plus a few other bad words I won’t be reading.” You laugh, watching as your mod kicks them.

“But seriously Bella! And what? What am I? I must know.”

The next day you wake and first thing you do is check your phone, a daily morning ritual. The first notification is from an instagram dm from a verified account, you have to rub the sleep out of your eyes just too make sure your reading it correctly.

Bella: I was gonna say cute but beautiful sexy and amazing works too xx

After your done freaking out you respond with a thank you and a winking emoji. To your surprise Bella continues to message you, you two communicate for a week over instagram dm before Bella gives you their number. The conversation usually flirty filled with getting to know each other. Empty promises to meet in the near future.

—

A handful of die hard The Last of Us fans who all had fairly large followings were invited to the premiere. You being one of them, which came to you as a surprise because you had played the game but there were far more bigger fans out there. You were excited for the opportunity nonetheless. A large part of you more excited at the chance to see Bella.

“We’re so glad you could make it.” The shows social media manager, Victoria who had initially invited you says.

“Thanks for inviting me.”

“Don’t thank me, thank Bella they were adamant on you being here.”

“Oh okay, will do.” You smile, ignoring the fact that if it wasn’t for Bella you wouldn’t be here. Anxiety growing at the thought that Bella wanted you here. How at any moment you’d finally meet her.

After the viewing of the the pilot you are sat with the rest of the influencers invited in the panel room. Cheers notify you that the stars of the show arrived, Bella and Pedro. Your watching Bella as people converse with them. They’re not paying much attention eyes are wondering around the room hopefully looking for you, you think. Smiling ear to ear as they make eye contact with you. Bella had wanted to greet you on the spot but they weren’t aloud to veer from the schedule.

The cast make their way to the stage. Craig and Neil are the first to speak. Thanking everyone for coming and supporting the whole project. Then the cast are asked questions. Too enamored with Bella you don’t touch your food, too nervous to eat. They often sneak a look towards you smiling when they catch your attention.

To your disappointment you don’t get a chance to see Bella. She’s rushed to her table where she eats with the main cast. Then when it’s over she’s guided to somewhere behind the scenes your not aloud. You wait longer than you should have before deciding to book an Uber to take you home.

Your stood outside the building waiting for your Uber, sulking in your own sadness. The night not going how you imagined at all.

“Uber for Y/N?” Your driver speaks breaking your thoughts.

“Yeah sorry.” You walk towards the car ready to just go home and crawl into bed. Before you can open the door your phone vibrates, it’s Bella.

“Where are you?” Bella says as soon as you pick up.

“I’m getting in a Uber right now.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s over. I’m going home.” You hear heavy footsteps, looking back you see Bella running towards you phone up to her ear.

“Then I’m coming with you.” Bella says into the phone only a few feet away from you.

“Are you inviting yourself over?” You laugh.

“Oh fuck I didn’t mean to come off like that I just didn’t want to-“ Bella hangs up on you, now talking to you instead.

“Can’t believe you’d hang up on me.” You cut them off, laughing at the fact that the two of you were conversing over phone while stood so close.

“I feel like a real dick head. I tried so hard to get away from tonight’s responsibilities but they wouldn’t let me. You have no idea how badly I wanted to get away from it all and be with you tonight. I want to make it up to you.” Your cute moment gets interrupted by the Uber driver telling you he’s going to leave if you don’t get in already. When you go to open the door Bella assumes the worst.

“You coming?” You ask, returning the smile to Bella’s face as she climbs in with you. The drive to your place is filled with apologies and sneaking glances at each other. Bella doesn’t leave your apartment till the next morning, up till 4 am just talking. Feelings grow and laughter is shared. Bella is the one to kiss you before they leave making plans to meet again.

—

Bella moving in has been great. It’s only been a week but waking up and going to sleep next to the person you love every night is better than you could of possibly imagined.

You stream five days a week, leaving the weekend for yourself and Bella now. Originally your set up is in your bedroom, using your bed as your backdrop. Moving into the guest bedroom has been great. Creating a whole new look for your stream and having a lot more space. The other half of the room filled with Bella’s miscellaneous boxes.

Bella has yet to get used to your work schedule. Normally when they visited you’d take a break from streaming or do it while they were off working. Now that you live together, you had to work. So often Bella would interrupt unknowingly. Apologizing quietly as they walked back out of the room. Your chat taking quick notice of your smile and lovingly stare as you told Bella it’s okay, wondering who it could possibly be.

—

“Can you hear me?” Bella asks turning on her instagram live.

“Uhh yes it is I see your comments now.” Bella gets comfortable, reading comments out loud. Shouting out people as they asked.

“Ok the whole reason for this live. I just wanted to give some life updates. First I uhh moved to California.” She admits reading chat for a moment before responding.

bellaramzeee13: I thought you hated la

ramseyfantlou: NO Bella’s gonna change ):

thelastofbella: the uk will misss you

“I promise I’m not going to change. Some things just happened and I decide it’s best for me to live out here. Ya know? Closer to opportunities and other things… anyway thought I’d come on here and unpack with everyone.” Bella stands up from where they’re sat thinking your out for the day with your friends. Heading into your steaming room, switching the camera to the back camera ready to show the giant pile of boxes.

“This is where all my stuff is,” Bella is going on not realizing your sat in your desk live as well.

“What’re you doing?” You ask startling her so her phone lands on your just long enough for people to realize it’s you. Bella’s quick to stuff her phone in her pocket live still going.

“I’m sorry I thought you were with your friends already.” Bella’s panic has your worried.

“It’s okay that’s not till later. I’ll be right back guys.” You say to your chat switching to your I’ll be right back screen. You follow Bella out of the room into the living room.

“I was on instagram live.”

“Did you show me?” You ask.

“I dunno.” Bella pulls their phone out it now on the front facing camera, you laugh seeing your reflection on insgram live.

“Bella it’s too late your still live.” Your laughing harder than before. Bella’s worried faced fills the live and your laughter in the background.

bellsram01: YOUR DATING HER???!!

sarabeez: NO WAY

elliewilliams22627: wait why do I kinda ship it

justbellaaaaa: bella I think I actually want your girlfriend more

“Should I get off?” Bella asks you.

“If you don’t want to. It’s okay.” Bella sets their phone down using some clutter on the kitchen counter to created a diy tripod.

“Guess it’s out,” Bella laughs. You move into frame, leaning closer to read more comments. Laughing at all the funny ones, reading them out loud. Answering a few questions about your relationship.

“Well I got to go attend to my steam I was so rudely interrupted.” You sigh dramatically.

“If y’all want more of me I’m on twitch right now.” You smile for the camera.

“Are you trying to steal my viewers?” Bella looks at you shocked.

“Absolutely yes babe.” You tease, before planting a small kiss on their cheek before leaving bella alone in the kitchen. Bella reads more chat as everyone freaks the fuck out.

“I guess you all know the real reason why I moved to the states.”

[doc-pickles]

sent to save me | sidney crosby (ch. 1)

series masterlist

summary: sid meets nikita’s best friend and runs into a ghost from the past

warnings: none! :)

author’s note: hello! sooooooooo I have probably a million other things to do/write but this came to me and I knew I needed to write it. this is going to be a series and will probably be a lot angstier than my vegas series. I have some ideas for what’s going to happen and I can’t wait to share them with y’all!! anyways I hope yall enjoy this!

xoxo

nina

(ps - title is from ‘always been you’ by shawn mendes)

It starts off innocently enough. He’s at Geno’s for dinner like he does once a week. Nikita is babbling away next to him about everything he’s learning in first grade.

“And Mrs. Riley is super nice and I get to sit next to Vivie who always shares her fruit snacks,” Nikita says all of this at a speed that Sid can barely comprehend but he simply nods at his godson.

“Always with Vivie,” Anna coos as she ruffles Nikita’s hair, her other hand coming to rest against her swollen belly. “Attached at the leg you two.”

Sid chuckles and gently corrects Anya which has her rolling her eyes as she squeezes his arm. Being with his best friend and his family made going home to an empty house hard, but Sid knew he wouldn’t trade his weekly dinners at the Malkin house for anything.

“Vivie is my best friend in the whole world,” Niki rambles on as he runs out of the room. He comes back with a picture frame and shows it proudly to Sid. “This is us at science camp over the summer.”

Sid’s brows furrow as soon as he looks at the photo. The little girl with her arm wrapped around Nikita is a bit shorter than him, dirty blonde hair pulled back into braids. Her big brown eyes are staring up at the camera, upturned nose and gap toothed grin framed with freckles and a set of dimples. Sid stares at the photo for probably a bit too long, the little girl looking somehow familiar even though he knows he’s never met her.

“Nice picture Niki,” Sid smiles when he finally tears his eyes away from the frame. Anya is watching him carefully but doesn’t say anything as Nikita begins talking about how much he loves math.

The rest of the night is uneventful, Geno’s steak and potatoes going over well with everyone at the table. If he and Anya notice that Sid is quieter than usual they don’t say anything to him. It’s not until he’s playing outside with Nikita after dinner that Sid catches his friends whispering to each other as they wash dishes.

When he gets home later Sidney doesn’t even take his shoes off before he’s walking down the hallway to his study. The photo album is tucked into the farthest bookshelf, the dark leather binding helping it to blend in. But he knows exactly where it is, exactly what it feels like in his hands. He pulls it off the shelf and holds it for a moment before opening it to the first page.

‘To Sidney, the love of my life. Happy anniversary babe!

xoxo A’

The handwriting is loopy and decidedly womanly. He traces his fingers over the words reverently before flipping the page. Sid’s breath hitches as his eyes lock on the photo there. Blonde hair, shining green eyes, and a dimpled smile so wide he still sees it every once in a while when he closes his eyes.

There’s a part of him that wants so badly to flip through every page, to take in the smiling woman on the pages and the version of himself that seems to have faded without her. Instead he closes the photo book, shelving it again before he goes out to the living room and pours himself a glass of scotch.

“Why the hell am I still here if you can’t make me a priority Sidney?”

“I’m trying! Don’t you see that? But I also have a team to think about, a whole fucking franchise riding on my shoulders! Don’t they matter too?”

The night and all of his regrets replayed in Sid’s head often. Annie’s tear soaked face, the words they both carelessly yelled at each other. His front door slamming, her things gone from his house by the time he came back from his next road trip.

He’d wanted Annie and hockey, wanted her to see that he was trying to make them both a priority but it hadn’t been enough for her. He hadn’t been enough for her.

And in the end none of it had mattered because three weeks after their argument Sid had shattered his knee in what would be his last game as a Penguin.

Yeah he missed hockey, but he missed Annie Wright more than anything else.

+

A week later Anna’s water breaks in the middle of the night. Sidney drives over and crashes on Geno’s couch as they head to the hospital together. When he wakes up Nikita is poking his cheek with a frown.

“Hey bud,” Sid yawns as he wipes a hand over his face. “Your mom and dad went to the hospital, looks like you’re gonna be a big brother soon.”

Nikita seems wholly unimpressed as he looks at his godfather, “Can we get McDonald’s breakfast before school?”

And because he’s a sucker for Niki, Sid agrees.

By the time they’re pulling up to Nikita’s school Sid is more awake, parking and following Niki up the path to his classroom.

“I’ll pick you up later too bud,” Sid tells him as he ruffles his hair. “Then maybe we can go see your little sister.”

“Nikita!”

Both Sidney and Nikita whip around at the excited voice, watching as a little girl runs up to them. Sid immediately clocks her as Vivie from the picture Nikita showed him. She’s sporting white overalls and a pink sweater, her blonde curls bouncing around in the pigtails fastened high on her head.

Vivie hugs Niki tightly then blinks up at Sid and he swears the air just got much thinner because he can’t pull in a full breath, not when he feels like he’s looking in a god damn mirror. Vivie has the same big hazel eyes as him, the same jutting chin and furrowed brows. But her smile and those dimples… Those remind Sidney of someone else.

“Vivie! You left your lunchbox in the car,” the voice that haunts his dreams is suddenly right behind Sid and before he can think better of it he turns around.

Annie looks much the same as she did eight years ago, her heart shaped face and wide green eyes exactly how he remembered them. Her blonde hair is shorter, resting just above her shoulders now. There’s something else Sid can’t quite put his finger on but he thinks that Annie doesn’t hold that same infectious joy she used to.

“Oh my god,” Annie breathes the words out slowly as she makes eye contact with Sidney. “I- Oh my god…”

“Miss Annie, this is my Uncle Sid,” Nikita explains excitedly. “My mommy is having a baby so Uncle Sid got me McDonald’s and took me to school!”

Annie schools her features as she tears her gaze away from Sid and pastes on a smile for Nikita, “That’s so exciting! I’m sure you’re excited to be a big brother.”

The school bell rings then and Vivie and Nikita waste no time hastily saying goodbye before running off hand in hand. When they’re out of sight Sidney turns to Annie who’s white as a sheet as she stares at her shoes.

“Annie,” the word is low and laced with hurt as Sid focuses on the woman he used to love. “Annie please tell me you didn’t… That she’s not…”

Sidney can’t bring himself to say the words out loud, even though he’s almost positive they’re true. Vivie’s face is ingrained in his mind now, showing up every time he blinks. His eyes, Annie’s smile… He stares at Annie and begs her to tell him anything but what he knows is true.

Please don’t tell me you had our daughter and kept it from me. Please don’t tell me I’ve missed seven years of her life. Please don’t tell me that perfect little girl has been so close and so far. Please. Please. Please.

“Sidney, I am so sorry.”

[dragcnbreak]

more autistic little mike……. please im begging.. Begging..

ANONNNN why are you me. autistic and little mike are such important headcanons to me so here are some thoughts on how his autism would interact with his littlespace >< also this isn’t really an x reader. there’s no mention of the reader at all. just pls let me be autistic about mike ok

◞♡࿐ (TW for mention and small description of self harm)

• his depression has caused him to fall out of love with a lot of his hyperfixations and special interests so being little feels like the only time he can really indulge in them

• with the help of people on here, i landed on some special interest headcanons!!! i think he really liked legos and airplanes when he was younger so that translates over to his littlespace

• vanessa finds the airplane that garrett had when he went missing and gives it to mike. he cries for a while every time he sees it but he grows used to having it around and plays with it when he’s little

• he also gave up his legos to abby when he thought he aged them out. but she does eventually figures out about his age regression and sneaks the box of them into his room one day

• along with his airplane and legos, he also draws and watches cartoons. he draws so many planes and could definitely specifically name the ones he draws. he read a book when he was young and just never forgot them

• I FORGOT ABOUT DREAMS. dreams are definitely one of his special interests and that translates over to littlespace too. he’ll always draw scenes from his dreams right after waking up from one. he thinks they’re super cool (or sometimes really scary) and he just has a huge collection of his dream art

• also like i said in my first little!mike post, i think he allows himself to stim more when he’s little. he represses it as much as he can when he’s working or with other people but when he feels safe enough to be little, he feels safe enough to stim too

• his stims are more tactile than anything; his hands always have to be doing or touching something. he flaps them when he’s excited or just doing something stimulating in of itself.

• he also rocks a lot, either on his feet or just his entire body. and this is a stim that helps him feel better when he’s having a meltdown or breakdown too

• speaking of meltdowns, they don’t happen too often because he Hates feeling weak. but they do occur when he’s little more often than not.

• (self harm mention and description here) it’s not like the happiest headcanon but I think he punches himself and bangs his head against walls when he’s having a meltdown. it’s sort of a stim but also self harm because he feels like he deserves it

• he doesn’t regress to too young, maybe around 10, so he knows what he’s feeling and he’s aware of why he’s feeling it so he’s just not always a happy little. but that’s okay

• he doesn’t have a lot of sensory issues tbh? when too many things are happening at once, he can feel overstimulated but it’s not often. he prefers the dark but doesn’t mind brightness. he doesn’t mind something that’s loud but he does get scared by a loud noise easily, but he can handle things like concerts. he’s kind of a picky eater and does get autistic about certain food (like having a comfort food or eating something once every day)

◞♡࿐

this kinda turned into me rambling about autistic mike sorry HAHHAHA I told y’all he was important to me. Anyway. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed <3 I have a lot of requests that might take me a bit to get around to but they’re still open and always welcome

[nerdysleepybunny]

Hiii!!! This is my first time making a request on tumblr so I hope this is okay 😓 anyway, alot of my friends have said that I seem so quiet and timid. My parents have also called me out on this so can I have the full score trio with a quiet and timid s/o? Maybe base her off Yuri from ddlc because she's my top kinnie 😅 gender neutral please <333

P.S.

Your tpn posts are so good, I need more 😭😭😭 btw I hope I didn't make any grammar mistakes, English isnt my first language.

Helloooo, apologies this took so long to get to! And don’t worry, your English was great! I sadly haven’t played ddlc but I’ll try my best to do this. And I appreciate the kind words! Thank you so much for the request, hope you enjoy! <33

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

Fandom(s): The Promised Neverland

Character(s): Norman, Ray, Emma

Reader: Gender neutral (they/you)

TW: N/A

Style: Short hcs

Summary: TPN trio with a shy s/o!

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

Norman:

He enjoys how quiet you are! It’s a nice refresher from how the other children can be.

He knows how easily scared you can be, and has willingly turned himself into a comfort plushie for you! He’ll let you hug him, lay on him, play with his hair, cry on his chest/shoulder, whatever you need, he’ll be there for you!

If you get scared/overwhelmed by other people, he’ll keep you distanced from them (if that’s what you want)! If he notices you beginning to panic he’ll drag you away from the situation and do whatever activity you have in mind to help you relax.

If you get scared from things like loud noises, he’ll allow you to hide away in his chest, and if he knows a loud sound is about to be made, he’ll cover your ears and bring you away from it.

He’ll also sing, hum, or just ramble if his voice helps you calm down. <33

Literally just a teddy bear for you to hold onto tightly when you need it. 🥹🫶🏻

Ray:

You’re shy? Great, so is he! He prefers smaller gatherings anyway, so the two of you will often just hang out one on one. No need to get overwhelmed by others if you’re with him and only him 24/7. :D (this lowkey sounds yandere, mb y’all 💀)

Sometimes you’ll be mid-conversation with someone then your social battery just goes to 0. He’ll immediately notice the change and will instead answer things for you, since at this point he can read you super easily. Just one look and he immediately knows what you’re thinking. He’ll talk for you for as long as you need until you’re recharged enough to take over again.

He isn’t into physical affection very much, especially in front of others, but if you need it he’ll hold your hand or let you play with his hair.

Will also slap anyone that purposefully overwhelms you or tries to push you out your comfort zone. Whoops.

Emma:

Complete opposites relationship pog? Complete opposites relationship pog.

Y’all have such a cute dynamic istg. 😭

Emma is just a complete ball of sunshine, always speaking loud and proud, then you’re just there quietly simping over your brave girlfriend. 🥺💕

You’re just like “Omg she’s so confident I love her sm” and if she notices you watching her with heart eyes? OMFG she’ll point you out and just start bragging about you, talking about how perfect and amazing you are and how you’re the best s/o. And you’re just awkwardly sitting with a hot red face not knowing what to do with all the attention. 😭

She’s good at distracting you from your worries by simply talking away and being herself! You could be rocking back and forth in a corner with your knees to your chest having a breakdown from being so overwhelmed then this mf just walks in and you’re just in awe. 😭

Literally the definition of going from 😭 to 😳

Them tears be stopping so fast when she’s around istg.

She’ll absolutely smother you in nothing but affection. 🫶🏻

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

[myonedream]

⋆⋆‧̍̊ ·̊ ~⋆ ✦ ⋆~ ·̊ ‧̍̊ ‧̍̊ ·̊ ~⋆ ☾ ⋆~ ·̊ ‧̍̊ ‧̍̊ ·̊ ~⋆ ✦ ⋆~ ·̊ ‧̍̊⋆⋆

“That’s My Good Boy.”

⋆⋆‧̍̊ ·̊ ~⋆ ✦ ⋆~ ·̊ ‧̍̊ ‧̍̊ ·̊ ~⋆ ☾ ⋆~ ·̊ ‧̍̊ ‧̍̊ ·̊ ~⋆ ✦ ⋆~ ·̊ ‧̍̊⋆⋆

✦ ⋆DNI Minors & Ageless Blogs⋆ ✦

A/N ~ Hello loves! If you don’t already know, this is my first fic on here! My name is L (more on me in my pinned post if interested), I’ve been on Tumblr for 10 years and writing in general for even longer so I’m definitely not new to either, though I’ve never written smut before so this is my first time for that. I really wanted to write this fic in particular as it’s something that plagues my mind every since this -> post/ask from @napofamoon. Even though now I made this about Hyuka hehe (tbh imagined it as him every time I read it after reading it the second time because he just gives me giant puppy vibes). I did use the ear thing here as well so credit to anon for that! This fic is actually the inspo to start this blog, along with the amazing TXT smut community on here that I’ve been secretly following for awhile. And I have to admit, this is quite self indulgent so… guess y’all caught me in 4K 😂. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it regardless and please let me know of any errors/thoughts you have! I know I’ve read this like 9 times and I think it’s pretty good, but I’m still nervous that there are some errors and y’all might not like it. Especially since it’s hybrid smut. But I don’t think there are any errors and I truly do like it, I just got hella anxiety so y’know. But enough of my rambles and happy reading :)

CW ~ Idol Wolf Hybrid!Hueningkai x afab!reader (not specified as a girl), Subby Top!Kai, breeding kink and a lot of it, creampie (remember this is just fantasy so don’t be silly, wrap ya willy), praise, uses of names such as Pup, Baby, Master & Mommy, definitely a petite reader so size kink for sure (he kinda manhandles her even though not intentionally cause he’s just a big ol’ puppy at the end of the day :(), pantie stealing, good bit of dirty talk, some pretty soft moments, consent is sexy type vibes, choking, biting, cockwarming at the very end, boy lowkey desperate and a bit of a perv. If I missed something, let me know!

~⋆ ✦ ⋆~Smut Under Cut!~⋆ ✦ ⋆~

You’ve known Kai for a long time, having met when you both were 6 years old so him being a hybrid was never a secret to you. It was basically his opening line when he approached you during recess, barking at you and exclaiming that he had a tail, which he then promptly showcased. Being so young, you found it incredibly interesting and because you desperately wanted a dog more than anything when he asked if you wanted to be his master you of course said yes! Unbeknownst to you all that entailed, and how different a wolf, especially a wolf hybrid, was from an actual dog. But you didn’t care because your friendless and petless self basically now had both!

So for years you remained his master and as time went on you began to realize how big of a job it actually was. You didn’t even know how big of a deal having a master in the hybrid community was until many years passed. You were essentially a glorified babysitter that didn’t get paid. Hanging out with him 24/7, keeping him out of trouble when his animal instincts kicked in, letting him sleep curled up next to you on your bed, taking him on walks, being woken at 6am sharp with puppy kisses all over your face to take him on another walk. The boy basically lived with your family at that point. If he wasn’t so cute you would’ve wanted out a long time ago but he became your best friend you could tell anything to so you found it endearing having him be your shadow, even if his own shadow was much bigger than yours. So when he started to pursue his dream of being an idol of course you came along for the ride.

When he was finally in a group and they had plans to debut him, he begged the company to allow you to move in with him and his group mates, the leader, Soobin, the eldest, Yeonjun, Beomgyu and Taehyun. Then of course he begged you, to which you put up a fight and “reluctantly” agreed. Though truly you wanted to live with him just as much as he did with you, even though you’d never tell him that. Eventually debut came and after that a new place, bigger company and a lot of fame and well deserved recognition. Him and his members, who you became good friends with, were on top on the world.

Then he began having…hybrid issues. Essentially every hybrid reaches full maturity at a different age and what effects you the most is your sexual drive, making it an incredibly difficult time, especially to hide it. It’s like one day you wake up and your heat is so incredibly painful it’s nearly impossible to even walk or sleep comfortably. Kai is a late bloomer, he’s 21 and is just now starting his maturity cycle, making performing and recording content for the fans extremely hard. They already know he’s a hybrid but they don’t need to know when specifically he’s in heat and being the fact his ears pop out when he is, it’s not like he can hide it any. Though there has been one thing that’s been keeping him from losing his marbles: you.

He keeps telling you how much he loves you and how your comfort is the only thing keeping him sane at every opportunity. Cuddled up in your bed, in your lap, in your arms, as if he’s the one who’s 150cm. You just think the love and support is what’s helping him and that it’s not that horrific since he seems to be keeping himself together well and you know it’ll all pass soon enough. But truthfully, he’s absolutely losing it. Sure, you’re helping, but not how you think you are. The reason he’s constantly curled up to you or in your lap? Your scent. And not how you as a whole smells, how your pussy smells.

He’s a wolf deep down (even if he acts like a giant puppy) so he has an incredible sense of smell. Unlike how others can’t smell you down there without having to stick their whole nose up there, he just has to get within a few feet to smell it. Usually that is. But with how bad his heat has been as he’s now finally reaching full maturity, he can smell your pussy the moment he enters a room with you in it. If you’re arroused or on your period, he knows. And when you ovulate, it sends his instincts into overdrive. Which is why his head is always in your lap, he’s taking in deep breaths of your scent as close as he can get to your pussy without it being weird. You would think your scent would drive him more mad but somehow it’s comforting as it’s familiar but lately it just hasn’t been cutting it. So he comes up with a plan whilst you sleep next to him, completely unaware, in your basically shared at this point bed, to help him get the purest whiff of you in the morning. He then manages to contain his excitement and nerves of acting out his plan and proceeds to fall asleep, nuzzling into your neck.

You wake up the next morning to Kai lovingly cuddled up against you, holding one of the giant plushies you got him years ago as a birthday gift. It’s his day off so you don’t bother to wake him as you get out of bed, you pick out your outfit for the day and head into the bathroom. You sit your clean clothes on the sink then proceed to have your morning pee, washing your hands after. Now you turned on the shower to get it heated up before you enter and begin to remove your oversized shirt that once belonged to Kai, exposing your bare breasts to the cold air of the AC vent above you, hardening your nipples instantly. You take off your pretty royal blue panties and drop them down onto the floor on top of your shirt, now completely naked, you enter the shower and begin to clean up.

Once Kai hears the water running he wakes, taking time to scroll on Weverse before eventually getting up to act out the plan he made last night. He approaches the bathroom to come inside, at this point you’re not sure how long it’s been since you got in when you hear the door open but nonetheless you instinctively call out “Kai?” He freezes in fear that he’s already been busted but tries to remain as quiet as possible. Eventually his fear is alleviated after he hears you whisper to yourself about how you just must be hearing things. Then he spots them, the pair of royal blue panties you left on the ground. Instantly he can begin to feel his heart beat out of his chest as he carries out with his plan by picking them up and stuffing them into the pocket of his pajama pants before leaving the bathroom as quietly as possible.

You’ve always taken a long time to shower so he knows he has plenty of time to do the rest. So he sits himself down on your bed, pulling your panties out of his pocket and lifting them up to his nose, taking in all of your scent. The divine fragrance making his ears pop out and big cock grow in his pants instantly. He begins to lick the wet spot on them from the access slick due to your ovulation, relishing in the taste of you and fantasizing what it would be like to have his head in between your thighs, lapping away at your warm pussy as you moan under his tongue. Before he knows it, he’s pulled his pants and boxers down and is fisting his leaking cock as he has the panties up to his nose.

He takes his precum and works it around his shaft like lube, moaning at every touch, and begins wrapping the panties around him, using the bright blue material as friction. Unable to help it as his mind starts to wonder about it being your hand around his cock right now, getting louder by the minute. “A-ahh… master… mmm fuck…” He’s so fucked out already he doesn’t even realize the water has turned off, you’ve finished your shower and quickly you put on your towel to go wake Kai, who you think is sleeping. Noticing whilst walking out your panties are gone and quickly as you open the door you notice exactly where they went. Your missing panties wrapped around his throbbing cock. Kai, too far gone and eyes shut, doesn’t even notice you watching, “Ooh fuuuck, m-master.”

For some reason seeing him like this is unexpectedly turning you on and you can’t help but stand and watch as he works your panties around his fat cock. He’s much bigger than you expected, the sight of him playing with his cock and the sound of his moans making your pussy wet. “Mmm… oh shit… fuck, oh master,” he moans out loudly and shamelessly and just hearing him moan master that one specific time makes your body need release. You lift the towel and begin gathering your slick, bringing your fingers to your mouth to suck them clean, enjoying the taste before rubbing circles around your clit. You lean back against the wall, watching him intently, you slide two fingers into your hole easily and slowly. Once you hit your G-spot you can’t help but let out a soft, but just audible enough, “Aah, pup.”

The moment you do, Kai’s ears perk up and his eyes fling open to look at you, who is now the one unaware of the other since your eyes are closed. Slowly he gets up, getting close to you, watching in awe for a second as you touch yourself. You jump slightly as he leans into your neck and leaves a soft kiss, whispering into your ear “You know, master, I had a whole apology ready for being a bad boy if you caught me, but now you seem to need me almost as much as I need you.” You say nothing as he lightly tugs at the towel “May I please take this off?” You stare at him for a second, he was always so polite, now not being an exception as he awaited your answer, circling his hand around your inner thigh. You let out a giggle at the tickling touch before saying “We really shouldn’t… but… please do.”

That’s all the wolf needs to hear as he removes your towel and picks you up gently to then lay you on the bed, underneath him. He lets out a light moan at the sight of you, his beloved master, all exposed for him. In almost a pathetic whimper he goes “Fuck, finally, I’ve wanted you like this since the maturity cycle started, master.” Then not even a second later, he shoves his head in between your legs and begins leaving sweet puppy licks in between every fold of your wet pussy. “O-o-pup,” you almost shriek at the sudden stimulation “all you had to do was ask if you needed help.” You say as you run your fingers through his beautiful blonde locks and leave light scratches behind his ears as he eats you out the best anyone ever has. The boy lifts his head up, eyes already glossy, his face soaking wet all around his mouth to ask “Really?” before sticking his face back into your pussy. “Y-y-yes, anything for you baby.” You say lovingly in a near moan. “Then cum for me” Kai says into you, going back and forth from sucking harshly on your clit and teasing your hole with his tongue, his nose rubbing your nub when focusing on your hole. Watching your every move. “F-fuck, oh shit, pup, you’re gonna make master-“ “Please, cum for me, mommy.” Between how well he was eating you out, his words vibrating on your clit and his sudden use of mommy, you absolutely lost it, coming undone around him and cumming intensely on his tongue. Feeling your eyes roll back into your head, screaming his name so loud you knew if the other boys were awake they knew exactly what was going on. But that didn’t stop him from sucking your clit until it was swollen, until he knew you were coming down from your high.

Before you could even say anything he looked up from in between your legs, desperation in his voice, “Please let me make you a mommy.” You didn’t even know what to say to that but Kai didn’t leave any time to respond before saying “Please, I wanna fill your pussy up with my cum, mommy.” He began to get closer, moving up the bed, sounding even more desperate to the point he was basically whining “I wanna give you my puppies, wanna cum in my mommy’s pussy so bad.” Words you never thought you’d hear your sweet little pup say but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on immensely, making your pussy throb for him. Instead of letting him know that you just chuckled and went “Oh? You wanna make me a mommy? Want your cum dripping out of my hole, pup?” In a teasing voice. Kai bit his lip, nodding quickly as he stared into your eyes intently with those big brown puppy eyes of his. It was hard to believe at a moment like this he was a wolf hybrid and not just a dog hybrid. “Fuck, please.” He said, as he sank his head to leave kisses in between your breasts. “Okay, but you have to be a good wolf then.”

“I’m always good” he said in an almost upset voice, as if you were implying there are times he is not. But his near offended nature quickly went away as he ripped his shirt off and lined up his big, throbbing cock with your entrance. He began to slowly insert himself, being as gentle as possible, but due to his size, just his tip alone made your eyes roll back into your head. At this point you were also becoming desperate, moaning out “Just get it in there, already.” “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.” He said. “You won’t, trust me, I’ll tell you if it’s too much.” Kai looked at you as he gripped onto your waist with his big hands “Promise?” “Promise.” “Now just make me a mommy please.” Those words alone was enough for him to absolutely unintentionally manhandle you as he bottomed out in you, stretching open your walls to take him. You screamed which instantly made Kai have a worried look on his face. Until you moaned out “Oooohhhhh fuuuuck… good boy.” When the worried look turned to a grin of pride that he could make his master like this.

“You like that?” He asked as he started speeding up his thrusts. “Yes…” you muttered out barely audible between yours and, mostly Kai’s, moans and loud squelching sounds of his fat cock in your wet pussy. He began to hold your hands down and lean over your body so he could kiss you and whisper in your ear how beautiful you’ll look as a mommy as he borderline abused your cunt. His blonde locks becoming wet and falling into his eyes as his pretty ears and tail began to twitch. Speeding up so much, you genuinely feared that he might break the bed with all the creaking. At this point he had you in a mating press, breeding you so deep and fast, hitting your G-spot every time with the fat tip of his cock, making you wail. You could feel yourself dangerously close to cumming and so could he as your gummy walls clenched around him. “F-uck, I’m close!” “Me too” he groaned in response. “Go on pup, impregnate master, make her a mommy.” You yelled. And with that you came undone, and so did Kai, releasing his seed into you with a sharp thrust, leaning into your chest as your walls fluttered around him.“O-oh master, fuck, there you go, take my puppies.”

With so much stimulation he collapsed onto the bed next to you, his cock slipping out of your hole on it’s own. Despite it being very, very good, at this point you became needy for more so without a second thought you begin stroking his cock to make it hard again. Dazedly he looked up at you and asked “Not enough? You need more, master?” You felt something take over you as you responded with “The name is mommy.” Quickly you got on top and put his cock back in your now creamy hole, beginning to bounce on it. “I’ll take that as a yes then, mommy.” He giggled as he watched your pussy spread his cum on his cock like lube. “Well, I have to make sure you got me pregnant, pup” you say. Kai nodded and sat up, wrapping his arms around you, nuzzling his face into your neck so he could leave bright marks on it, squishing your boobs against his broad chest in the process. Slowly reaching down to grab your ass whilst thrusting up into your hole. “God, my cum makes the best lube, but now I fear it’s leaking out too much.” He said softly into your ear. “Guess I’ll just have to fill this cunt up again.” He said in a near growl whilst bouncing you on his fat cock, furry ears tickling your face as he sucked on the sweet spot on your neck. “Fuck, right there” you whined as his right hand came up to wrap around your throat. At this point he was slamming your pussy so hard that his cum from before was splashing out onto his lap. That’s when you felt him shake, “Breed me full,” you said and before you knew it his warm load filled you up again as he bit your neck. You then screamed and began to cum yourself, pulling his mouth off your neck to look him in the eyes, “That’s my good boy.” You said as your hands cupped his sweaty face before leaning in to press a passionate kiss on his lips.

At that point you both were so tired you laid down onto the bed, your body still on top of Kai’s, him in still your hole. “You feel better now, baby?” You asked hazed. “Much.” He replied. To which he covered you both up with a blanket to take a nice needed nap. But not before you exchanged mutual ‘I love you’s,’ certain that definitely fixed his issues as you both fell asleep. More than happy to help him again if he ever needs it.

⋆⋆‧̍̊ ·̊ ~⋆ ✦ ⋆~ ·̊ ‧̍̊ ‧̍̊ ·̊ ~⋆ ☾ ⋆~ ·̊ ‧̍̊ ‧̍̊ ·̊ ~⋆ ✦ ⋆~ ·̊ ‧̍̊⋆⋆

[alderwoodbooks]

Alrighty. I’ve got a few reviews ready to post but I can’t seem to get over the ‘first post anxiety,’ SOO,

here is what I’m currently reading and my current thoughts and opinions on it thus far. I may get crucified for it but that’s okay. (Red rising fans, y’all are a different breed)

Current Read: Red Rising by Pierce Brown, am about 18% of the way through it, in chapter 10. *slight spoilers in my little ramble here*

So far, I’m really enjoying the story, the world that the characters live in and the political complexities, but it does feel like a few other stories I’ve read (just overall lacking in originality, can’t exactly pinpoint what stories feel so familiar though so maybe I’m just being overly critical here) and oh my GOD is the main character sooo insufferable. The man would benefit greatly from some therapy, but what male lead in a fantastic/science fiction novel written by a man wouldn’t to be fair. The dialogue feels very clunky and weird and unnatural in some parts, especially when the main character talks to his wife (rip, although part of me wonders if she’s gonna pop up again sometime). SPEAKING OF HIS WIFE, not loving how women are portrayed in this book so far, but haven’t seen enough examples to fully form an opinion on that one yet, hoping it gets better, but from what I’ve heard, I’m not expecting greatness.

These are mostly just first impressions though, I feel like I haven’t gotten to the “meat” of the story yet, the main character just found out the difference between the lower reds and the upper reds and is going through a bit of shock because woe is he, his whole life is a lie, which as a reader, no shit buddy.

As a whole, I feel like this book is gonna be a book I finish out of spite or with desperate hopes that it gets better as it goes along (similar to how I felt with fourth wing, which I will be writing a review soon, good lord I don’t understand why so many people love that hot garbage of a book.) BUT sometimes those books are my favorite to read and to review because they’re fun and I usually have a lot to say.

Anyways. back to reading, hoping and praying it gets better as we go along.

[bugmomwrites]

So there was some drama cd somewhere where Kurapika got absolutely shitfaced and tried to teach an English class

This is…horribly unrefined. I typically beta my other stuff and edit for days, sometimes weeks, but new year new me I’m just posting my incoherent discord ramblings and casting them into the void

I’ll revise and add a read more in the morning but it’s like 3am here

Anyway here’s some drunken Kurapika, in which he loves you a lot but is too damn nervous to say anything

TW for puking, drinking, generally poor life decisions

There was some fancy ass party at the Nostrade mansion and y’all were invited. It was a black tie event, and Kurapika, while not technically on duty, was still expected to be on his best behavior

He’s normally so composed but by the time you arrive you see Melody encouraging him to talk to you, he seems to glance over to you, flush bright red, and toss back the rest of the champagne.

Why does he seem so nervous as he approaches you? He’s stumbling a little bit, but you don’t seem to notice, or you’re too polite to say anything.

At some point Leorio brings you a drink and asks you to dance; you initially wanted to ask the blonde but he looked like he was deep in thought about something, so you didn’t want to bother him.

A few songs in and Kurapika is downing another full glass as Melody warms him to slow down before he’s marching over to you and just straight up tells his friend that he’s gonna borrow his partner for a few songs

Jealous mf just needed some liquid courage

Anyway

You guys catch up and he seems to be a bit more openly expressive. You’re not really in any place to call him on it though, a few glasses in and you’re both firing jokes back and forth like a game of ping pong.

He’s not bad at ballroom dancing even if he is a bit tipsy, but you accepting after he swooped in on Leorio kinda set into motion “alright, I HAVE to confess tonight” bc if other people are noticing someone as lovely as you, he needs to hurry it along. Months of pining is nothing without action.

You’re both drunk and giggling as you twirl around, and you’re thoroughly enjoying this side of Kurapika. You don’t even notice you’ve moved off of the dance floor and off to the side a bit, but it feels more intimate away from the large crowd so you can’t say you really mind too much. Even as you almost go tumbling when he tries to spin and dip you the shared laughter is contagious, and now is the perfect time to confess.

The setting is perfect, you’re both smiling and laughing, you look gorgeous in your dress, and he put on his best suit for this- Leorio even lent him one of his favorite ties for the night. There’s something magical about the way the chandelier lights glow upon you, not that you didn’t already.

The time is now. He’s had enough booze to push his inhibitions aside for a brief window of time, and he wasn’t going to let it slip away. He’s leaning in closer, squeezing your hand gently as he opens his mouth-

And then promptly throws up

Yikes

Bro has never been so mortified in his life, and when his brain finally catches up to him he’s frantically apologizing and hoping that no one saw that

If you’re disgusted (as you should be), you don’t seem to show it on the outside, opting to wordlessly guide him to the washroom instead. He’s not sure if he feels better or worse that you’re not scolding him, but all you’re thinking is you need to get his drunk self out of sight before his boss sees

Thankfully, Melody notices and is quick to distract the few people nearby before they can notice the spectacle

The door is pushed open and you two make your way over to the sink as your face gradually shifts to one of concern. You’re bundling up paper towels and running them under water before turning to wipe his blazer off.

“I’ll be fine. I can clean myself up. Your boss is here, I don’t want you to get in trouble.” Even if you’ve already had a couple drinks and aren’t as sober as you should have been, you pull yourself together enough to put his needs first. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons he fell in love with you. There were plenty of others, sure, but this had to at least be in his top ten.

His blazer was cleaned and with that you went to wipe your own clothes off. He certainly did a number on you, but you wanted to make sure you got his first seeing as how his boss was nearby.

As much as he wanted to fess up, talking clearly hadn’t done him a whole lot of good tonight. Perhaps the alcohol was clouding his judgement, but his booze addled brain urged him to take direct action instead.

You were finishing wiping the rest of the mess off your skirt when you suddenly found yourself caged between the sink and a familiar pair of arms you had just been held in not even half an hour ago.

“Can I help you?" You giggled nervously at the proximity and determination on his bright red face, but it tapered off soon after his eyes shifted to a matching hue. You had already taken your heels off and set them aside to make them easier to clean, so if you didn't already feel small enough under his gaze as you were halfway up from your crouch, you certainly did now.

He simply reached behind you, grabbing some more paper towels to run under the water and wiping the missed spots on the front of your dress off for you. He had to make a conscious effort not to let his hands linger too far up on the bodice. The lacy neckline, while classy, still sent his mind into the gutter as thoughts of him marking you up filled his brain. Drunk or not, there was no way he’d get lumped in with a pervert like Leorio.

He was looming over you like a hawk, and you nearly short circuited as he went to lean in. Common sense rushed over you just in the nick of time though, the smell of booze on his breath too potent to ignore, and you quickly put a finger up between you before he could close the gap.

“I think you’re lovely, and I would be more than happy to kiss you later. But keep in mind you did down about six shots before throwing up on both of us. Alrighty?”, and with that, you ruffled his hair as you pecked his forehead. He groaned in embarrassment, burying his head into your shoulder.

“ Please don’t remind me…”

Gn guys if you enjoyed this pls reblog and help a bitch share her content

[envyq00]

Heyo! Once again, been on and off, but not just on Tumblr, on most of my social media. 😭😭

It’s been a chaotic time for me as of late, I will be honest. Been trying to adjust to a LOT of different life changes. I had one HELL of a Fall semester last year and as such, I took the Spring semester off but then I had to pay off a lot of debt so I opened commissions and kinda survived for the past couple months on doing those.

But as I did commissions —and really only commissions, I had time to do some art of my own but not nearly as much as I wanted— I realized several things.

I realized that I was capable of so much more than I was self conscious about in my art. I worried that I was not good enough to do a lot of the things I wanted, specifically comics and sequential storytelling. And as I made more people’s ideas and characters come to life, I realized I could do the same for myself and my characters. That I have a unique kind of voice and way of doing things that people resonate with. And I should cherish and nurture that.

So I wanna try desperately to do that again. To pick up my projects I felt I failed and give them justice.

That being said, updates will DEFINITELY be slower but I will definitely be working on some good stuff coming forward. 👌👌

Another update is that I definitely want to write my thoughts and opinions on here more often than before. Bc again, I feel like it might have better value on here than on Instagram stories of all things 😭😭 Mainly bc it can stay up longer than 24 hours dhsjjs.

So I hope y’all on here enjoy my ramblings from time to time.

Anyway, thanks for reading this ramble. Just wanted to share my current headspace at the moment.

(Also just a note: commissions are indeed closed, not sure when I might open them again. 😬 I’ll be returning to my Fall semester this year so I might not have the time to balance classwork and that. Again, not sure.)

(I’ll also continue to add more of my art from earlier this year onto here. And I’ll also try to update my Twitter/X 😭😭).

[lazuli-writes]

What if Joffrey Waters was a hero?

summary: A extremely brief look on turning one of the most hated brats into someone decent.

pairing: none

genre: rabbit hole rambles

estimated word count:

a/n: Apologies, this is ancient as heck and as such almost all of my former information that made up the rest of this au is a tad bit gone and nonexistent. I hope y’all can enjoy what little I have to offer. Remember folks, copying other people’s works is plagiarism and that’s illegal. Don’t be that kind of person. Anyways, hope you all enjoy it :)

©little-lazuli. Do not copy, repost, or translate without permission

Okie dokie, today’s topic of discussion follows this small tiny idea I had. What if Joffrey was a hero and lemme get y’all into it. This is gonna be a lot of gray areas and ooc-ness. But anyways, let’s start.

So I have three fixed aspects that changes the course of Joffrey’s story: 1) Joffrey discovers the truth of his heritage, 2) Joffrey lives on the isle of faces for a time and 3) Joffrey changes his name. And let me explain why I picked these three. Joffrey needs something horribly drastic in my opinion to make his head spin, what other way to do that then for him to discover his dad is his mom’s brother. That’s rough buddy. The isle of faces was a place I always wanted to explore. And Joffrey’s name change was a move I thought would be perfectly symbolic of him taking on a new life and also, the name “Joffrey” makes me gag every time I say out loud. So now let’s go on.

Boom Joffrey walks into a room and sees Cersei and Jaime doing the “utu bang bang” (islander term for sexc times) and his mind cannot handle the mental fallout. At first he’s filled with rage. He thinks his uncle is assaulting his mom. Trying and failing to attack his uncle who holds him still. Cersei tries and fails to comfort her son. He’s disgusted at the revelation that Jaime is his father. And does the only thing he can think of. He runs.

Fleeing a castle, then a city and then an entire territory under the control of one’s “parents” is a hard thing Joffrey comes to discover. Hiding in the red keep for a couple days to be alone with his thoughts is something that aids in helping Joffrey with digesting the news. Escaping kings landing in an effort to separate himself further was another hard feat. He wasn’t just trying to escape his mother so that she could try to feed him more lies. Cause turns out, his entire existence was a lie. He was a bastard born of incest. His father wasn’t his father. His mother and uncle were living it up. And it was clear that Joffrey’s life could never be the same again now that he was inadvertently enlightened to this whole damn conspiracy. Everything went out of whack real quick, too quick for Joffrey to properly process and accept. So instead of competing with his true parents in trying to maintain a secret, he instead decided “why not run instead?”

So he ran and ran and ran some more. Life on the road was EYE OPENING for the former prince. He didn’t know peasants really lived in such… poverty. It was disgusting at first. But soon when Joffrey discovered what it felt to be truly hungry in the same sense as some of the smallfolk did, cleanliness seemed liked the last thing on his mind. Bridlewood was a quaint village that Joffrey had found himself in eventually. The food he stole was really good there and he sold the last of the jewels he had for a night in an inn. But of course that lasted like five seconds before he had to go on running once again from his mother’s men.

Whitewalls or at least the ruined lands of whitewalls was not so much of a nice place. Though the land was salted in the distant past, some tough weeds seemed to grow anew. The castle’s foundations were decrepit and broken, but just enough to provide a stable place for Joffrey to nap. Right on the edge of the gods eyes, smallfolk were always passing by, whether they were camping on the grounds, sailing up and down the god’s eye or just traveling through. Obtaining food and water became less of a hassle with his stay there. By this point it has been months since he took flight from kings landing. Joffrey’s biggest concern was always being dragged back to face his mother who Joffrey genuinely believed to be sick in the head.

That was another fear Joffrey had come to realize eventually. Was he sick like his mother? He did not find any of his family members attractive. Then again no one caught Joffrey’s eye. He knew deep down he thought some were enough to give another look to, but the idea of being a romantic relationship with anyone was weird and uncomfy for Joffrey to consider. It wasn’t long before Joffrey’s temporary haven at Whitewalls were interrupted by the coming Lannister and Baratheon search parties that have become almost routine throughout much of the kingdoms, all searching for the lost prince.

So what did Joffrey do, run. Again. Well, not so much run but instead stole a raft and rowed himself across the gods eye. It was nighttime when the soldiers came so when he finally reached shore the first thing Joffrey did was pass out, exhausted from the manual labor he still had not become accustomed to due to his pampered origins. And it was these same pampered origins that made him freak out when he woke up in a cell of sorts. He thought that his mom had finally caught him and for a split second believed that she was gonna kill him to keep the secret. But no, turns out it was the green men of the isle of faces who had captured him.

For the sake of this large tangent of a what if, imma summarize Joffrey’s time in the isle of faces. So going off of the aging of the show, Joffrey was born in 282 AC, when he is twelve (294 AC) he leaves and spends months on the run before winding up on the isle of faces. Here he lives as a smallfolk amongst the green men. He learns how magic exists in the world and how everyone has a role to play in the war to come. Joffrey at the behest of the green men decides to take on a new identity, a new name for the new man he is to become so he takes on the name Jason (yes how unoriginal but that’s not the point). Now known as Jason, Jason learns the basic survival skills of any person lingering in the wilderness in Westeros. He learns how to start a fire and hunt using a bow and arrow. He learns how to fish and even skin game to make him clothes. And it’s through these strenuous acts that Jason learns to humble himself. Jason still has his issues, mostly mommy and daddy issues and how he lacks the ability to maintain trust in those he lacks a relationship with. Only few of the green men people are able to maintain a friendship with the new Jason because of his trust issues.

After spending three years on the isle of faces, Jason has become almost a man grown in the eyes of Westeros. He had learned to take of care himself and have even witnessed the inner magics of the Green Men. His greatest experience is when he was given a prophecy by one of the green seers on the islands;

“You will be the salvation of many animals in the forest young one. A lion, a wolf, a falcon and a trout. All of whom you will save. All of whom will betray you in the end”

The prophecy is something that shakes him to the core though he’d never… and now my train of thought is completely gone because I started this four years ago and found it again only now. Apologies, I truly didn’t want to end it here but I’m literally drawing ten thousand blanks on continuing this au so for now this will have to suffice. Please share any thoughts on how this au should play out cause I do remember that the people he saved was Jaime, Sansa, Sweetrobin and Edmure Tully. Some other prophecies I had pertaining to this au included :

Green men prophecies:

“You will be the salvation of many animals in the forest. A lion, a wolf, a falcon and a trout. All of whom, will betray you in the end”

“Four gold lions will dance with a dragon, one lion will flee as green flames fly, another will dance until the dragon dies, one will wear a golden crown and the last will crumble to the ground”

“Your gold crown is muddled with truths you will never have assured”

“You will always find refuge in the lands of the emerald crown”

Ghost of High Heart Prophecy:

“I see an ocean of broken fires is where the pride is waiting. A pride with a roar so powerful, even the dragons will calm at it’s sight, but only barely. Only waters can claim the pride, and with that pride, the waters will swallow up the last dragon in the world and see to the end of a kingdom”

Old Crone of Valyria Prophecy:

“If one wishes to go east, they must go west, only there will the waters see forth the future it desires. But be warned, yellow flames, red flames and green flames will come, waiting to swallow a man whole”

Joffrey’s Prophetic Dreams

“I saw a frail little falcon, and it was singing to the forest… trying to at least. But another bird, smaller but visibly stronger sang the same song as the little falcon. The other bird would sing so loud that the falcon could not be heard”

“A herd of horses are abusing a small wolf until a lion comes to slaughter all of the horses”

Do with that as you will, thank you for reading and again feel free to share any thoughts and possibilities of the au, thank you and bye!

[giraffe-lesbian]

Hidden Connotations - Dinahbabs Blurb

Wrote this for @aiyasbs because she left me many headcanons to chose from, and I just went for it!! 

A blurb set after Birds of Prey issue #85, the one where Barbara has to go through surgery to remove the Brainiac virus. Instead of Canary fighting off the bad guys during most of it, though, she spent her time either by Barbara’s side or making her one too many flower arrangements.

Also, I wanted to note: I was definitely inspired by Gail Simone's characterization for Black Canary when writing this. I just love the playfulness and sincerity she brings to the character, and I just love how she just... cares so much. So I tried to mimic that, hopefully, and I also made her the nervous party for once which... Not sure how much it fit, but it was actually quite fun and I might just explore it again. 

Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy! 

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42779022

Hidden Connotations

“Dinah,” Barbara crooned, shaking her head with a smile. She was on the cusp of laughter, but she was trying not to. Not with all this love surrounding her in this room. “Dinah, you’ve brought enough flowers.”

Arrangements of alstroemerias, collections of chrysanthemums, samples of sunflowers. Flowers of friendship, Dinah had told her.

Those and a dozen more flowers that Barbara didn’t know the names of adorned the hospital room. They were struggling to find space for them all in that small room. Dinah just kept bringing more and more. Her flower shop had to be bare.

(The blonde, really, just didn’t know what else to do.)

“This is the last one, I swear,” Dinah promised. She’s holding just one bouquet in her hands. Only this time, it just feels different. Something else hangs in the air other than the sweet aroma from the flowers and antiseptic.

Dumps of daisies, huddles of hydrangeas, lots of lilacs and lilies. Flowers of family, Dinah had murmured.

“I’m going to be fine, Dinah, the worst part of the surgery’s over-“ Barbara began to remind her as that nagging feeling of tenderness rose in her chest. Oh, to be cared for, to be looked over, to be dotted upon like this… Barbara hated it normally, despised it, but with Dinah, she had admittedly grown to like the attention.

(But she can’t have that, so she needs to let it wilt. Flowers of friendship, flowers of family, Barbara reminded herself.)

“These ones have something to say. Like, actually something to say,” Dinah blurted out, "Not like the ones before didn't, but these ones definitely do." This caught the redhead off guard, and for the moment, all she can do is stare up at Dinah from her hospital bed. Slowly, the hacker brought her hand up to her chin and tilted her head. Dinah was… nervous?

The blonde looked back at her, her mouth a straight but quivering line. She was worse for wear. Her blonde hair was a mess, unwashed and unkept. She was wearing the same shirt from before Barbara had surgery, an old band T-shirt, now wrinkled and with a collection of stains. The skin beneath her eyes had grown dark, and her usually bright hydrangea blue eyes looked worn and tired.

And yet, that didn’t dull their usual sweetness and care despite it all.

“What are these ones?” Barbara asked, peaking up at the bouquet. She had always liked hearing Dinah talk of their meanings. What would this bouquet represent? Sisterhood?

(The thought of that pricked Barbara like a thorn, but she swallowed it down. It went down slow like honey without a single drop of sweetness.)

“Roses,” the blonde replied with a curt nod. She was now bouncing on the balls of her feet, biting her lip. “And tulips with some lavender, since you like lavender.”

“What do they mean?”

“They signify love,” Dinah answered simply. She was able to keep the other woman’s gaze, and the crunch of the bouquet paper as she fiddled with it filled the room. She was trying so hard to downplay it. “Romantic love, specifically, or just, you know, a big fat ‘I love you.’”

Ramblings of roses, tangles of tulips, loads of lavender. Flowers of love, Dinah had just stammered.

Wait, she did?

And when Barbara doesn’t respond for a moment, all the Black Canary can mumble is an “Oh cripes, did I-?”

But then, the redhead was beaming at her. Barbara reached out for her, fighting back giddy laughter. “Oh. Oh, Dinah, Dinah, come here.”

***

A few weeks later, Dinah came back from a mission to a piece of paper laying on the kitchen table. It was littered with the most bizarre collection of ones and zeroes she had ever seen, and it was just as startling to her. She was trying to figure out why something like this would ever need to be made when Barbara rolled over to her, a large smile already sneaking its way onto her phase.

“What is this, Babs?” Dinah asked, pointing a single finger at a row of finely printed zeroes and ones.

“It’s binary code!” Barbara began to explain, her excitement already pouring over into her words. Dinah was always partial to when the redhead began to geek out, and this was no different. “It’s basically what computers run on. It can be really complex, but at a basic level, it mainly just codes for text. Every letter or symbol on the computer is represented with its own special sequence of ones and zeroes.”

“Well, what’s it say?”

“Well, if we input it into a computer-“

“Dumb it down, please,” Dinah teased her, the affection spilling off her words.

That made Barbara chuckle. Shaking her head, she replied, “It just says ‘I love you too.’”

Zangles of zeroes, oodles of ones, calculations of code. This is how I say ‘I love you’ back, Barbara informed her.

Dinah kissed her on the spot.

[chidoroki]

Black Clover ch353

Apparently the legendary dragon had the land perpetually covered in yoryoku, so the inhabitants never actually saw the real sky before. I guess it wasn’t really noticeable to us in manga either, but I’m sure if and whenever this moment gets animated the new sky will be beautiful to witness. (kinda reminds me of Juvia seeing the sky for the first time without her rain).

Y’all are just gonna sit back and wait in hopes the Bulls will appear? I mean I don’t doubt them; they’re sure to find someway over here with some crazy method, but then they’ll all have to travel back to Clover anyway. Just seems like more work to me? Can’t we have Asta wash up on the shores like Yami did back in the day? Pfftt, but yeah sure, our boy needs a break anyway. He can worry about judgement day later..

For now, we celebrate! Everyone seems so happy and lively which is good! They deserve to let loose and have some fun. I find it kinda hilarious they’re all gonna feast on the dragon. Sure it was all just laying there dead now and the thing was huge, so all that meat can last them like..several years. Thankfully Lily is getting some proper rest too, but still won’t wake until Lucius is defeated.

We see Ichika ask again about who really killed off the Yami clan, but Ryu’s silence is a loud enough answer to that. And I dunno why but I think Fuji is probably my favorite out of the seven. He just seems so chill playing his biwa and I love it.

I know I should be focusing more on the fact that Ichika apologizes to Asta about speaking ill of Yami, but I simply can’t ignore the fact our boy is actually drinking! Oh Vanessa would be so very proud of him. I desperately want to see the two of them celebrate together now.

The whole Charmy resemblance towards this Ocha-ami doll has me confuzzled, like I thought it looking like our famous big eater was just for shits and giggles. I wasn’t expecting it to have some sort of backstory?? Has Charmy actually been to Land of the Sun once before? Could she get the rest of the Bulls there now since they’re trying to find Asta? Or is this all a bunch of nonsense and the real Ocha-ami is someone completely different? Maybe a real distant relative on Charmy’s dwarf side, or whatever side of her has the food magic? Charmy is such a big mystery, I dunno, it’s all rather silly to think about but still funny to me.

Not gonna lie but Jozo looks kinda nice without his mask? I assume he wears it to hide all those scars and to better fit the mysterious ninja persona we’ve seen from him already, but I like it. He kinda reminds me of Gabimaru from Hell’s Paradise, which is weird how I even thought of him considering I’ve only seen him from trailer previews? But oh my god, please let Yosuga and Mereoleona meet up! Imagine the fight they would get into! (she’d probably wipe the floor with him).

Soon after Daizaemon suggests Asta take a dip in the hot spring and seeing our boy all bare was certainly not on my list of things I’d wanted to see. Though I did get the reminder of the giant scar across his chest he received at the start of this arc. Poor lad needs to stop getting hurt so much. And as per hot spring tradition, ya can’t visit one without some kind of fanservice happening, so Asta unexpectedly runs into Ichika (due to Daizaemon’s forgetfulness). Thankfully Ichika’s embarrassment and Asta’s quick getaway spars him of any harm. For now.

Asta wastes no time to apologize the next morning like the good boy he his and we’re back at it again with some more upcoming training. With the way the chapter ends, it reminds me of how the six month training in Heart was handled, so hopefully we time skip right to judgement day, or at least back to Clover and the other Bulls to see what they’ve been up to the past couple days.

But ah, how great this was. Finally a chapter that gave me stuff to ramble on about for more than a couple sentences! The fight was nice and all but I very much enjoyed seeing the seven and Asta all chill out for once.

[beyondspaceandstars]

The Sleeping Situation

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: minor mentions of blood, minor (non-descriptive) violence Summary: You finally convince Bucky to sleep with you in the bed, as opposed to the floor, but you find it doesn't exactly go as smoothly as you had hoped it would, leading to some taunting emotions and revelations. A/N: This one went over pretty well on ao3 so fingers-crossed y’all enjoy too! idk how different audiences are - i just like sharing my work :)

Masterlist

You had finally convinced him. After weeks of hints and attempting, he had finally placed himself beneath the duvet, snuggled up right next to your body. 
It was something close to a miracle. Bucky had been sleeping on the floor for as long as you could remember. It had become really something you accepted — like clockwork, after watching a show or movie in the bed, he’d let you doze off then untangle himself to go to the living room.

When you first moved in, he didn’t think you really noticed. He’d always be up before you anyways, nothing seeming out of place but as if you possessed some sixth sense, you could always feel Bucky’s arms leave your waist as he went to retire in the living room.

During attempts at bringing up the bed, Bucky would dismiss it, saying he just hated how soft it was. He couldn’t get comfortable. He wasn’t used to it at all. And while you didn’t doubt this for a second, you still felt something deeper worries had been brewing.

You had decided to start small by having Bucky stay cuddling after your nightly movie viewing. You two would lay in the bed, staring at the ceiling, mindlessly talking about whatever was going on with your days. He seemed at peace with this until your eyes started drooping. Within seconds, the grip on your waist would vanish and he was heading out.

It was fine, though, since you had your moment together and he had found some way to relax in the bed. While you never wanted to push him, you wanted him at least content.

The next level was napping. After work, nearly every day, you’d announce you were laying down for a nap and ask Bucky if he was tired. Usually, he’d just shake his head. But one day he looked absolutely spent and wordlessly followed you into the room. A thrown arm around you loosely, he was able to get some shut-eye…for about 15 minutes. Soon he was uncomfortable and placing a kiss on your cheek, following it with a recoil of his touch. Still, you were taking the win and slowly but surely, the time spent napping would go up. Days bast but eventually he was up to an hour in the bed, napping peacefully.

When he finally decided to take the step to join you for a full eight hours in the queen-sized bed, you were quite shocked but easily overwhelmed with joy.

The movie had just ended and you were closing the laptop when Bucky left the bed. You frowned, watching his figure disappear to the bathroom, worried he was already backing out before cuddles and pillow talk. But you didn’t say anything and instead got comfortable on your side (well — the whole thing could’ve been your side at this point).

As you drifted off, a heavy arm snaked its way around you as you felt the other side of the bed dip. Blinking your eyes opened, you looked over your shoulder and was greeted by a nervous-looking Bucky staring back at you.

You turned to face him and asked, "Everything okay, honey?"

He nodded, "I- I’m going to try- try sleeping here if that’s okay."

Your eyes beamed as a smile you couldn’t suppress made its way to your face. "Of course," you said and placed a good night kiss on his lips. "Sleep well."

"You too, doll," Bucky mumbled and placed another kiss on your forehead. You curled up into him, feeling that he got more relaxed and his heartbeat went steady, drifting off to sleep.

***

Shaking. You were disrupted by something…shaking. Violently. Your first thought as you blinked, waking yourself out of your dazed sleep, was that a spontaneous earthquake was happening.

Except once your mind adjusted, it didn’t take very long to realize the mattress was the only thing shaking — and was the result of Bucky twisting and turning in fear next to you, lost in a nightmare. At some point, he must’ve untangled your cuddling bodies but thankfully that allowed you to sit up quickly, not trapped under whatever was happening.

You watched him, quite stunned to see Bucky thrashing around uncontrollably as whatever images and scenarios took over his brain. You didn’t really know what to do. All your brain could focus on was getting him out of his own thought. You needed him to calm down and know he was perfectly safe.

"Bucky?" You mumbled, your voice scratchy from the tears and fears creeping up. He didn’t react, only whispered some words to himself that you didn’t understand.

You hesitantly reached out for him, placing an experimental touch on his shoulder. He didn’t react at first so you called out his name again and tried shaking him. That was apparently not the right move because the next thing you knew, you were being flung off the bed, the side of your face against your bedside table on your way down. You landed ungracefully on your side, groaning at the unexpected pain.

The fall must’ve been loud enough because the next thing you could comprehend was watching the bed and seeing a very confused and dazed Bucky sit up. He was looking around the dark room, sweaty and anxious. When your eyes met, any color left in him faded. You could practically see the gears turning as he realized what he had done. You on the other hand were still quite surprised by the incident, simply choosing to stare at your boyfriend, watching him scramble off the bed and kneel at your side.

"Doll?" Bucky asked right beside you but his voice sounded so far away.

Taking some deep breaths, your shaky hand came up to your cheek as you felt something wet. Looking at your fingers, it was a sad mix of tears and blood.

A hand being placed on your shoulder made you snap back. You jerked away, turning towards your boyfriend. Bucky was practically frozen watching you, hands in the air, as you rushed to put space between you two.

Realizing the consequences of your actions, your heart sunk and you began apologizing. "Sorry, sorry," you mumbled, trying to furiously wipe away the tears and blood. "I- What happened? Are you okay?" You situated yourself to sit criss-cross in front of him.

"Am I okay?" Bucky shook his head in disbelief. "Are you okay? I- I’m sorry. God, I don’t even know how to apologize for this I am- I am so sorry, doll, I didn’t mean it. It wasn’t me, I swear, it- I had a nightmare and I just- I don’t know what happened." He was rambling, body shaking as he didn’t know what to do. Where to begin. How to explain. His mind was torn as a part of him wanted to hold you… And the other part wanted to leave you forever, utterly terrified of himself.

"Yeah, you seemed a bit upset," you mumbled, trying to hold your hand to your scraped cheek. Bucky saw your struggle and darted to the bathroom to get a washcloth, offering all he could as his words were failing. He handed it to you then took his seat again on the floor.

You dabbed your skin, checking the cloth as the bleeding slowed down. You weren’t sure what to say, either.

"I didn’t know what to do," you finally whispered, looking down at the carpet beneath you. "You were shaking and tossing and- and I just wanted you to wake up. To know you were fine. You seemed so scared-,"

"Alright, alright," Bucky mumbled, cutting you off as he saw you beginning to get worked up. Your body was shaking now as you recalled the last few minutes. The pure suddenness and terror that took over the room. He placed an experimental touch on your knee and, thankfully, you didn’t jump away. "You were fine, doll. This isn’t your fault. I- I knew I wasn’t ready to sleep with anyone and I got ahead of myself and now… Look what happened. God, what have I done?"

His jaw clenched as he spat out the words. You jumped slightly.

"Bucky, you didn’t mean to-,"

"But I did it," he said. "I hurt you and now I think maybe this just isn’t…" He faded off, his hand leaving your knee. He turned towards the bed as you tried searching him for anything, any answer.

"James, don’t." You shook your head. Bucky’s head whipped back to you as he heard the anger, the seriousness, in your voice. "Don’t say whatever you’re going to say. Let’s just go back to sleep and we can figure stuff out in the morning."

Bucky bit his tongue. He just nodded at your request, seriously not trusting his words anymore. He had half the mind to walk out, disappear into the world without you, all in the name of keeping you safe. And like the mind-reader you could be, you knew it. You saw it in his entire demeanor. He was practically planning an escape route at that very moment.

You two finally stood up from the floor. After disregarding the washcloth, you found your way back under the duvet. Bucky wordlessly gathered a blanket and left for the living room, knowing very well this bed was going to be the last place he fell asleep for a long time.

"Bucky," you called out as you were turned away from him. He stopped in the doorway. "To talk in the morning you have to actually be here."

He didn’t respond and instead just nodded his head as if you could see it. Then he promptly exited the room.

While the bleeding had stopped, the tears weren’t as you only heard the sound of Bucky walking to the living room.

***

Bucky was there in the morning and you talked — you. Only you could formulate words as difficult as it was while Bucky sat across from you. The guilt, shame, the exhaustion, all of it was painted on his normally sweet face.

You had told him you were fine, were feeling better. You were going to be okay. You understood the bed situation and wouldn’t pressure him into sleeping anywhere he was uncomfortable. You just desperately wanted him to be okay, to feel safe and happy in this space with you. Bucky just nodded along as you began attempting to write out a plan in case that had happened again. Nothing seemed to bring a true conclusion but there was at least the idea that there’d be no more touching of either person in their sleep, at least for the time being. It crushed you both, but neither of you commented.

He didn’t really offer much input besides agreeing with your points. Every other word out of his mouth was "sorry" so much so to the point you had to beg him to stop it.

He mostly just listened which you generally would enjoy from any man but in this case, you knew it gave his brain time to wander. Probably still planning how he would get himself out of his. But you didn’t want him gone. He was practically the perfect significant other in every sense. No one had ever treated you with such kindness and respect. Showered you with romance and kisses. Surprised you with date nights and flowers. You were just at a bump in the road and you didn’t want to get stuck behind it so easily.

Few days had passed and stuff seemed to be edging back towards normal. He had begun even holding your hand again, just a gentle touch to work his way up, reminding you greatly of when you first started dating, but you were welcoming it all with great patience.

You were standing at the kitchen counter cutting up vegetables for dinner when Bucky came home. He had a therapy appointment that day and usually emotions could be all over the place when he came home. Some days were good, some days everything would get under his skin.

Today, though, he seemed just… fine. He came in quietly and planted a quick kiss on your cheek before grabbing a beer from the fridge. He asked if you needed any help and when you shook your head, he went over to sit on the couch, watching whatever reality show you had mindlessly playing.

Moments passed and you had just begun sautéing the cut-up veggies when Bucky spoke, cutting through the silence quite surprisingly.

"I told her what happened," Bucky said softly. You froze, eyes trained on the skillet in front of you. His therapist. He had told her.

"Oh?" You asked, silently cringing at your stupid response. Neither of you had exactly brought up the incident since that morning after. And if anyone was going to resurface it, you had assumed it’d be you, so hear him so casual was making your heart pound.

"Mhm," he hummed. "I told her my first reaction was to leave."

"Bucky-,"

Footsteps started towards you, stopping at the little kitchen bar. You could feel him watching you as you tried focusing on the cooking produce. Your breath started to get caught in your throat, so much worry and concern washing over you.

"She wanted you to come in one session," Bucky tapped his fingers on the counter. "So we can talk."

You frowned and finally turned towards him. Worry was splashed everywhere on his face. Your heart practically sobbed. "Bucky, we did talk about it."

He shook his head profusely. "No, you talked," A beat. "I stood there like a statue, thinking of ways to leave you. Ways to get out of this so I’d never had to see that scared, upset look on your face ever again. So I’d never have to cause you any more pain than I already have. But I’ve come to realize I can’t do that because I love you too much and I- I can’t run away from you or anything. I’m going to try… No, I will make it right."

Your heart sank at his confessions. He loved you — a word he had never explicitly said before. A four-letter word he had never stood there and outwardly said. You let out a light sob and went around the kitchen counter, throwing your arms around his neck. He was shocked at first, maybe even a bit unsure, but you weren’t letting go, he realized, until he held you back.

"I love you, too," you eventually mumbled between the tears. You pulled away slightly, keeping your hands on his arms while his hands rested comfortably at your waist. Just feeling his touch had you melting all over again. "We’re going to be okay, Buck. It’s going to be fine."

He nodded, his eyes searching over your face as the scrape on your cheek was just still barely visible. It was going away fast but he didn’t think he could ever unsee it. "You’re right, doll, we’ll be okay. I’m working on it."

You gave a small smile. "You can’t be perfect, Bucky."

"Maybe not," Bucky shrugged as his hand found its way to your face, caressing your unharmed cheek. "But I at least gotta try to be perfect for you."

You sighed, leaning into the loving touch. Looking in his eyes you could kind of see that it truly was going to be okay. He looked so passionate and dedicated when he stared at you like you were it in the world. The only thing there. It made your soul sing and you hoped he saw it in you, too. "You are, honey. You already are."