#Adrien Agreste you idiot

[bigfatbreak]

What does Marinette think of all these changelings and people touched by them?

in honesty, she hasn't really known a life without really weird stuff happening in the background. Nothing that's enough to get on the news, but enough for hearsay and local rumors at the counter. It didn't used to be this magical, though...

as though over a decade ago, someone opened a door,

and never closed it.

[lea-panthera]

Okay, so remember this scene from Darkblade?

...and everyone was like 'adriennnn your cat noir's showing'?

Pay a little attention to Marinette in that last frame there.

That's a perfect 'goddammit cat noir' pose if I've ever seen one.

[chell-sea-art]

Been rewatching old favorites lately

[escaping-thoughts-reviews]

Adrien being distraught over hurting (and possibly killing) Monarch.

[lesboficfanatic]

this mighta already been done buuuuuut….

[wisteriasymphony]

He sank to his knees with a single breath, enchanted beyond all mortal manner. He outstretched a hesitant hand, then denied himself this; Adrien found himself unworthy to fling himself at his lover's feet. It was only prayer that he deserved to partake in, and so he did. His forehead pressed against the floorboards, one hand splayed out in front with the other tucked to his chest.

"Tell me, Claudia," he asked, smiling for no bigger audience than himself, "What words are left when 'God' is insufficient? Has all language constructed been in vain, if it serves me no purpose here?"

"Adrien, just what the hell are you talking about this time?"

Tawny blonde locks fell over his brows when he finally looked back up to her, that smile still persistent. Again, he was at a loss for words not composed in nonsequitur:

"I'm baffled that everything is a nickname to you."

Claudia shook her head, equally baffled at him. "What?"

"'Everything'. It's like a nickname," he sighed dreamily. "A shortening. To say you're everything to me doesn't feel like enough."

[mochinek0]

Looking Back (Part 1)

Adrien couldn't help but look at Marinette across the room. The only thing that bothered him so much was that she was there with her husband, Damian Wayne. He saw the smile he missed; saw her laughing with friends. He could see how close she was to him, every time she turned and looked at him to continue the story.

"How did you meet your husband, Marinette?"

"Yeah he doesn't look familiar."

"Did he go to school with us; I feel like I would have remembered him."

"Uncle Jagged took me on tour when I graduated, half way through the year, and I met Damian during one of the stops." Marinette answered.

Adrien looked away and noticed his friends were uncomfortable. Some people, those closest to Mari, stopped listening to Lila. Kitty Section had launched to stardom with their amazing clothes, lyrics and Jagged Stones backing. The others…..'Did I do the right thing?' was running across their minds.

"Hey, let's get out of here for a bit." Kim spoke, "I need a drink.

"Alya nodded, "It's….unnerving, right now."

"I don't know." Nino declared.

"It'll only be for an hour." Kim sighed, "There's a place to drink a block away. We can walk over and back."

"We can take my car." Adrien smiled, "I'll probably only have one drink."

Outnumbered, Nino groaned, "I'll drive us back."

After a quick round up, they left to a near by bar.

"This isn't how I expected this reunion to go!" Alya whined, "I thought Marinette would be miserable and we would be telling her, 'You should have be nicer to Lila'. Why is her life; her friends' life, better than ours?"

"Odine broke up with me two months after she found out that I had pulled a prank on Marinette when we were twelve." Kim sighed, "She never got over it. She said I was heartless and a monster to do that to a girl. She said she would be terrified of having daughters with me. I wasn't even thinking that far ahead."

"Looks like you are now." Nathaniel stated.

"I- She was the first girl to confess to me and our dates weren't horrible!" Kim retorted.

Alix chuckled, "Thought that was Marinette."

The former swimmer growled, "Shut up! It's not my fault that girls only want some slim-fit guy!"

"Mylene and Ivan are married." Nino pointed out, "Neither of them are 'slim-fit'."

"That's right!" Alya shouted, "You're blaming us, but guys only want model types. Where's the love for curvy girls, huh? Show me thicc love, dammit!"

"I don't know." Kim spoke, "Where did it go, Nino?"

The DJ rolled his eyes, "It was a mutual break up. We had conflicting schedules and barely had time to talk to each other. It was a ten minute talk at most and then class or sleep. Even now, most dates I've had have been coffee because I'm tired after a gig."

Nino realized his best friend had been quiet so far. He was sure he would have defended himself when his long-time ex brought up models. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted five shot glasses.

"Hey, Dude, are you okay?" Nino questioned, "You ususally don't drink this much."

Adrien turned to Nino and pouted, "I should have married Marinette."

The model didn't expect the table to erupt in laughter.

"Nice one, Dude." Nino smiled, "I understand you want to be included."

"I'm serious!" Adrien whined.

"Dude, if you really feel that way, you only have yourself to blame." his best friend stated.

"Huh?" Adrien replied, confused.

"You were the blindest idiot, as a teen." Alix cackled.

Alya rolled her eyes, "Mari was head over heels for you. It's why she bullied Lila, duh."

Adrien tried to shake off the alcohol, "Bullied Lila?"

Alya took another sip, "You know because you and Lila were dating."

"I would never date that Bitch!" the model shouted.

Everyone froze and looked at him.

"What?" Kim questioned.

"I never dated Lila." the Agreste heir snarled, "I would have never-She's not my type. Fuck, I would never date a model, period. I have always hated modeling; both Chloe and Mari knew that. I did it to get my father's attention."

Everyone looked at each other as the web of lies began to untangle in front of them. After all these years, the thread had begun to snap.

"You all thought Mari was bullying Lila because she liked me?" Adrien continued to rant, "You forget she helped me get with Kagami. Kagami even told me she tried to get us back together. Hell, 'Gami had a crush on her, but ended up with Felix instead. She still says that if Mari suddenly wanted to get together, she'd drop Felix."

No one knew what to say. Everything they thought they knew, that kept them as friends was slowly coming undone. They had been 'Team Lila' for the longest time and now….what were they? Adrien never dated Lila. Adrien said he would never date her. He believed Marinette wouldn’t bully Lila simply because Lila had feelings for him because Marinette helped him get a girlfriend. If that was all true, why did Lila say they dated? Why did she say Marinette bullied her? As if a distant echo, they recalled Marinette calling their friend a liar. Had Lila really lied to them all this time?

Kim let out a loud belch, "Like we believe that." his speech slurring.

"You're saying I'm lying?" Adrien questioned.

Mr. 'Just A Friend' had feelings for her?" Kim answered, "Yeah, right."

"Mr. what?" Adrien asked.

"It's your catchphrase." the former swimmer laughed, "I'm sure you all remember. 'Who, Marinette? No! She's just a friend. She's a good friend. She's a great friend. You'll like her once you get to know her and be friends with her. She's an amazing friend'."

Alix yawned, getting bored of the dying party, "You had 'FRIENDZONE' tattooed on your forehead."

Alya relaxed. She had been so close to believeing that she had betrayed the wrong person, but Adrien having feelings for Marinette was laughable at this point.

"Marinette obviously got tired of hearing how much of a 'friend' she was to you." Alya declared, "The shit I had to listen to when we were friends! How 'dreamy' you looked. The names of you imaginary kids! You two gettign a hamster."

"She found someone better." Alix shrugged, "He's taller and looks strong as hell. The only things you share in common are green eyes and wealthy families."

"Gold digging, Bitch." Alya snarled.

"I thought that, too." Alix admitted, "From what Juleka tells me, Marinette makes more than Adrien alone on her fashion commissions. That's without using her muscle hubby or his family name. Rose said that not even Luka compares. Kitty Section went with them to the Caribbean and …muscles and scars. Said Mari couldn't keep her eyes of him and they barely saw her after that."

"Demon God." muttered Nathaniel.

"Demon God?" questioned Nino.

"His brothers call him 'Demon Spawn', but he's chiseled like the sexy Lucifer marble statues that the church said no to." Nathaniel groaned, "I should have taken my chance, too."

Nino glanced at Adrien and saw him tearing up.

'Shit.'

"Okay, I think we get the idea." the DJ stated, trying to change the subject.

"Alya's right. We tried to get them together so many times, but he always thought they were 'friendly outings' even though eveyone had a date." Kim continued.

Nathaniel took another shot, "Imagine getting kissed by the most popular girl at school and thinking she was 'just being nice'."

"Lila?" Alya replied, "I thought-"

"Lila was popular in class, only." Nathaniel answered, "Marinette was popular all over school. The true 'Queen' of the school."

Adrien quickly stood up, scraping his chair against the floor, and rushed out. Nino quickly rushed out after him.

"What's his problem?" Kim asked.

Alya's eyes trailed after Nino's back before she took another drink and turned back to the group.

Nino quickly spotted Adrien's car. He slowly approached it and found him sobbing in the passenger's seat.

'At least he didn't think he could drive.'

Nino walked around and sat in the driver's side. He simply patted his friend's back.

"Did-Is what Kim said true?" Adrien asked.

Nino unintentionally paused his hand's movements, trying to decide what would be best.

"Nino!" Adrien shouted, "You're my best friend! Is what-"

"Yes." he answered.

He could feel the weight of Adrien's gaze on him.

"We did try setting you up with Marinette." Nino spoke, calmly, "Everyone in the school could see she liked you. I don’t know when she stopped; we truly believed that she was mean to Lila because Lila was with you."

"Not in a million years." Adrien replied.

"You sure?" Nino asked, looking at his friend.

"Not even if it brought my mother back." Adrien growled, "I can't stand her."

Nino started the car as Adrien sunk into his seat. They drove in silence, but he faintly heard the model's sniffles. He knew Adrien might not possibly remember the night and he didn't want to say anything that was too damaging. It was a conversation for another time…if there ever was.

Adrien thanked Nino as they got out of the car and he took the keys form him, "She looked happy tonight, didn't she? Her smiles were always the brightest."

Nino watched as tears fell down his friend's cheeks. Adrien quickly turned and went inside. Nino sighed and took out his phone.

"Yo, Max. I need a ride." he spoke, "Got a minute to spare?"

[katherines-imagines]

Still Into You

pairings: hazel callahan x reader

warnings: obliviousness, literally so oblivious that its frustrating, bad writing

key: *** - time skip, faux - fake

summary: The Fight Club has been trying to get Hazel and Y/N forever, so when Y/N has a concert with her band, the Fight Club tries to bring the two together..

For as long as the fight club could remember, Hazel and Y/N had been hopelessly in love with each other, but the two were clearly, completely oblivious. Really, it stressed everyone out. No matter what they tried, the two idiots could not get together. They had tried everything. They planted fake love letters, they set up real love letters, they arranged blind dates with each other, they even tried locking them in a room (subtly of course), but nothing seemed to work.

“Nothing is working,” PJ complained to the group. They were having a secret meeting without Hazel and Y/N. “This has gone on for far too long,” PJ said, the group nodding in agreement. “I mean, at least Y/N tries. Hazel’s the problem.”

“No, remember when Hazel got Y/N coffee,” Brittany pointed out.

“She got all of us coffee.”

“Oh,” Brittany said dejectedly.

“Yeah, she was only going to get it for Y/N, but she chickened out last minute,” Josie recalled. The group collectively face palmed. “Ok guys, we have to come up with something.” As the group sat in silence trying to come up with a new plan, a loud gasp came from Stella-Rebecca.

“Oh my gosh I totally forgot, Y/N has a band concert and she invited all of us!” The girls started chattering excited as Stella-Rebecca started passing out the tickets before Annie clapped her hands.

“That’s it,” she exclaimed. The group turned to her in confusion. “This is how we get them together! We get Y/N to sing a song to confess her feelings, and we help Hazel know that she’s singing it for her. It’s perfect!” Unconsciously, the group mentally simultaneously agreed that Annie was the smartest of the group.

“Great idea,” Isabel gushed. “So how are we gonna do this?” The girls huddled around Annie, ready to here the game plan.

“Ok, so here’s what we’re gonna do..”

***

“Hey are you good over there,” the lead singer asked. Y/N nodded, nervously tapping her guitar. The fight club had told her to sing a love song, and look directly at Hazel to confess. In all honesty, Y/N would do anything just for Hazel to finally realize her feelings. This was the last resort, so she would give it her all.

“Ready guys? We’re on in five,” the drummer notified the group. Nodding, they got in position. Taking a deep breath, Y/N reassured herself that she could do it.

While Y/N was getting ready, the fight club found their seats, putting Hazel directly where Y/N would be able to view her easily and vice versa.

“So Hazel, you ready to see your girlfriend,” Sylvie teased. Blushing, Hazel shook her head in denial.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Hazel said with a faux scowl. I wish, Hazel thought to herself.

“With how she talks about you, I’m honestly surprised,” Annie enticed. Annie was sure that if Hazel had puppy ears, they would be perked right now. Hook, line, and sinker.

“How does she talk about me,” Hazel asked curiously, trying to play it off smoothly. The group subtly gave each other knowing glances before Annie answered the oblivious girl.

“She always says, ‘Hazel’s so pretty’, ‘Hazel’s so organized’, ‘she’s so cool when she fights’. Seems like she really likes you.” Blushing, Hazel looked off into the distance. Maybe Y/N did like her as more than a friend? No, of course not, she think’s of Hazel as ‘just a friend’. a/n: fucking adrien agreste vibes

“I think Y/N told me that she would be singing the last song specifically for you, Hazel,” Isabel said slyly. Head snapping towards Isabel, she bombarded the poor girl with questions.

“Really? For me? You’re not joking?” Isabel blinked before answering.

“Yes, yes, and no,” Isabel smiled. A huge smile settled on Hazel’s face before the light’s dimmed. The group focused their attention to the stage, where their friend stood on stage. As the audience applauded loudly at the band’s entrance, Hazel clapped the loudest.

The band made their way through the songs, until finally they were at the last one.

“Before we finish up with our last song,” Y/N said with a bright smile. “I wanna dedicate this last one to someone I’ve been trying to tell them, but they’re just a little bit oblivious.” With a nervous smile, Y/N stared directly at Hazel, and motioned for the band to start. The main singer took a step back for Y/N to sing. They started playing and Hazel could recognize the song, ‘Still Into You’, by Paramore. Oh my god, Hazel thought. This was their song. The song playing when they met. The song playing when both girls fell for each other. Theirs. As Y/N sang, her gaze never left Hazel’s.

“Even after all this time,” Y/N sang, looking at Hazel. “I’m into you. Baby, not a day goes by, that I’m not into you!” As they finished the song, a huge applause came out, Hazel’s mouth dropped. ‘I love you Haze’, Y/N mouthed. Hazel could feel her heart beating hard in her chest and she finally mouthed the words back.

‘I love you too’.

A/N: @deadgirlwalkingtaylorsversion wrote a post asking about the reader confessing unconsciously during a concert, but I tried putting my own little twist to it (hope that’s ok). I’m taking requests if y’all have any! Hope you all liked it!

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Collusion and Revolution

Well, the final confrontation with Lila was a bust, but maybe Chloe's swan song will be bett----HAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, I couldn't even finish that sentence without laughing.

Let's get into the twenty-second and twenty-third episodes of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Collusion and Revolution

“Collusion” starts off with... oh, for God's sake... Gabriel monologuing to Emilie's body for the umpteenth time, only now, we see just how bad his Cataclysm wound has gotten, now making his entire hand black.

Marinette and Adrien wake up and we get a pretty cute scene of them talking on the phone while getting ready for their respective days. Afterwards, Gabriel talks with Adrien about being sent to London, and is somehow aware that Adrien hasn't told Marinette yet. Even when Gabriel tries to use his ring to keep Adrien under his control, Adrien still shows signs of resistance.

Later at school, Chloe walks up to insult Marinette and Adrien as usual, but Marinette has a little rebuttal of her own.

Marinette: Be mean while you still can, Chloe. I'm gonna let you in on a secret. Remember your friend Lila who used to hurt everyone with her lies? See her anywhere in this classroom? No, because I put a stop to her nastiness and I'll do the same with you!

Yeah, and you were only able to do so because one of Lila's minions decided they didn't like being evil, and had no plan of your own prior to that.

It's revealed that not only is Lila (I'm not calling her Cerise to make things easier for myself) still in contact with Chloe through their Alliance rings, she also somehow got her own supervillain lair. How did she set up here, much less find the resources to do so? You guessed it, never explained!

And yeah, let's just get this out of the way. I hate what they're doing with Lila here. For reasons I'll get to in a later review, it's clear that there had to be some changes made so Lila remains a key player, even after the events of “Confrontation”, so they decided to make Lila manipulate Chloe as part of her plans. For a pair of episodes that are meant to show Chloe at her absolute worst, it devalues her status as a villain if she's just going to be used as a glorified attack dog for bigger threats like Lila. Remember, we've seen Chloe come up with her own plans before (Mr. Pigeon, Dark Cupid, Darkblade, Kung Food, Antibug, Despair Bear, Zombizou, Frightningale, Queen Wasp, Queen Banana, Gabriel Agreste, Penalteam, Determination, Derision), and we know she's not a complete idiot. She doesn't need Lila to hold her hand and tell her what to do to get what she wants. I get that it's supposed to be ironic that Chloe, for all her bluster, is ultimately a pawn in a larger scheme, but it just doesn't gel with the whole “irredeemable monster” stuff the show has been going with whenever Chloe has been on screen for the past two seasons. You could easily take Lila out of these episodes and not much would really change.

During class, Chloe makes a scene by blasting some music and dancing on her desk, and we get what has to be the most unrealistic thing this entire show has done for the past five seasons: Assuming kids still care about school when the year is almost over.

Rose: Chloe, quit it! We wanna hear the lesson, we care!

When Ms. Bustier tries to send Chloe to the principal's office, Chloe calls Ms. Mendeleiev (who is the new principal after Mr. Damocles resigned), and essentially forces her to change the rules to music is allowed. After Chloe taunts Ivan, just as Marinette tries to stop Ivan from hurting her, she uses the opportunity to frame Marinette for hitting her. Oh, sorry. I mean Lila uses the opportunity to tell Chloe to frame Marinette for hitting her.

In the principal's office, Ms. Bustier tries to reason with Chloe by showing her the present she got her all the way back in Season 2's “Zombizou”.

Ms. Bustier: Chloe, do you remember this gift you gave me on my birthday? To me, that is proof that you're a fragile teenager who doesn't know love and is simply looking for attention. And... we all tried to help you. So, please, whatever it is you want, ask yourself if it's worth all the suffering you're causing.

Chloe: Did you hear that? A homeroom teacher using a student's feelings to blackmail her. This is inappropriate, utterly inappropriate! My father, the mayor, would never tolerate this in a school.

Remember kids, FUCK showing compassion to your enemies! Everyone knows Gandhi was a loser anyway.

The negative emotions attract an Akuma to Ms. Bustier, but she manages to resist Monarch's influence for now. Monarch transforms back into Gabriel, who has a meeting with Tomoe and Andre to discuss the state of Paris' law enforcement.

Tomoe: Your policemen mostly get paid for doing nothing. It seems that Ladybug and Cat Noir are the ones who have been enforcing the law in Paris the last few months, wouldn't you agree?

Because I guess Ladybug and Cat Noir have also been stopping drug rings off-screen or something.

Chloe storms into the office, and even though Lila has no idea what's going on, she tells Chloe to record the conversation. Once again, Lila has to tell Chloe just how to be mean and selfish while she chews out Andre, and that if she was the mayor, she'd ban superheroes, right before Chloe learns Adrien is going to London next year.

After a scene that's only there to remind the audience that Adrien hasn't told Marinette about London yet, we see Gabriel talking with Andre about replacing Paris' police force with robots... even though this should really be more a discussion for the commissioner. I guess the writers didn't have enough money for a commissioner model because they had to allocate resources for Ms. Bustier's baby bump.

Andre: Seriously, Gabriel, what's this whole police robot idea all about?

Gabriel: Have I ever offered a single bad idea to you, Andre? We've always helped each other, haven't we?

Andre: Remember when we were young and penniless? When Emilie, you and I would make the world right from our little attic room? You made me my very first suit so I'd feel confident and Audrey, whom I'd fallen in love with, would finally notice me? Don't you think we were much happier back then? That our lives were more beautiful, more fair?

Gabriel: Come on, you have everything to be happy, Andre. Your wife, your daughter, Paris City Hall...

Andre: A woman who barely respects me, a selfish, heartless daughter, and a City Hall that I never wanted. I only got into politics like dad to impress Audrey, you know that.

Gabriel: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Andre: Look at me, Gabe. All my life I've lied, I've cheated and I've abused my power. I used to be a dreamer, an artist, I wanted to make movies! Now I've become a tyrant in servitude to my family and friends...

Aw, poor baby. Did someone condition their daughter to develop an entitlement complex while refusing to divorce your abusive wife?

I'm sorry, but I don't feel bad for Andre at all here. While I'm happy to see that the show is trying to teach kids that male mental health is important too, it doesn't really earn him a lot of sympathy considering a lot of this is his own fault. Sure, we don't know what Audrey was like when they were younger, and she could have gotten worse as time went on, but considering how rich he is coupled with the fact that Audrey spends most of her time in New York, he doesn't really have much of an excuse to not divorce her. As for Chloe, he has even less of an excuse, since he was responsible for her upbringing. He spoiled her rotten, he refused to properly discipline her, and he failed to teach her the slightest bit of humility. I'm willing to accept that Chloe is a lost cause by the show's standards, but I can't accept the fact that Andre had nothing to do with how she turned out. He's as much of a failure as a parent as Gabriel is.

As Lila somehow finds where the two are talking so she can overhear their conversation, Gabriel secretly records Andre, altering what he says to make him look bad. While I can't exactly describe it through text, this clip from The Simpsons should summarize it.

Ms. Bustier sees the video of Andre, and this time, she fails to resist an Akuma, turning into Wonder Woman—I mean, Miss Sans-Culotte.

Miss Sans-Culotte has a okay design. I like how it's meant to have a more patriotic theme with the color scheme, and the fact that it's based off some of the people in the French Revolution, aptly named the Sans-Culotte, is a nice way to teach kids about history. The problems I have are the golden armor, which goes against the fact that was previously mentioned in this very episode that the Sans-Culotte wore more simple clothing. That, and the guillotine blade for a weapon, which gives off some uncomfortable implications. The Miraculous power this time involves the Pig Miraculous' Gift, which somehow allows her to transform anyone her blade touches into balloons... even though the Pig never had that ability, and we saw what it really did just earlier this season (Jubilation).

Right when it seems like Adrien is about to tell Marinette about London, the two learn about Miss Sans-Culotte, and split up to transform into Cat Noir and Ladybug respectively. Meanwhile, Chloe hears the news about Andre before getting a call from Gabriel, who offers to “give her Andre's power”. Even though Chloe always uses her dad's power to get what she wants, she literally has to be told to accept the offer from Lila because she didn't think of the political ramifications. You see what I mean about Lila adding nothing to this episode? It'd be like if Thanos kept in contact with someone who had to tell him how to get the Infinity Stones at every step. As for Gabriel, I'll talk about his plan next episode.

Ladybug and Cat Noir confront Miss Sans-Culotte, demanding to know what she's doing.

Ladybug: Terror isn't a solution!

Cat Noir: There are elections to make your voice heard.

Miss Sans-Culotte: Or a revolution when everyone is corrupt. Nothing can stop freedom!

Because it's not like the video of Andre confessing to abusing his power, tampered or not, is an open and shut impeachment case, right?

Ladybug summons her Lucky Charm and gets a crown. After focusing on Miss Sans-Culotte and City Hall, she gets an idea.

Ladybug: Mayor Bourgeois is acting like the king of Paris, and maybe he should be removed from office after all.

Cat Noir: Are you saying we should give this villain free reign?

Ladybug: I don't know... I feel like that's what the Lucky Charm means. You're right, it's not up to us to decide who gets to be the mayor and who doesn't. An akumatized villain just needs to be deakumatized.

Yeah, remember how Ladybug said it was too risky to forge a temporary alliance with Matagi Gozen in order to stop the person who stole almost every Miraculous she had last season? Well now, she's saying they should essentially let this Akuma force the sitting Mayor of Paris out of power, which is all kinds of illegal. Now this might just be because I'm not French, and don't understand how politics work over there, but here in America, the last time some people stormed a major government establishment to protest a fair election, they were seen as fucking lunatics.

Zoe tries to reason with Miss Sans-Culotte, but she's still in favor of using that guillotine blade in ways that don't involve balloons. They try to reason with her and convince her to reason with Andre... right as Andre is about to resign himself, so this whole conflict was pointless. Still glad to know Ladybug and Cat Noir are now willing to let Akumas use their powers to get what they want when that was almost always seen as taboo.

Miss Sans-Culotte once again rejects the Akuma with ease, Ladybug uses Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage... only to be cornered by several police robots, and ones that look really stupid at that.

Remember, Gabriel and Tomoe wanted taxpayers to pay for these.

Yeah, somehow, the Lucky Charm was actually meant for Chloe, because, well...

Cat Noir: A crown for the queen of brats, of course!

What, did calling her the literal Antichrist not do well with test audiences?

Yeah, this makes no goddamn sense. Why was the Lucky Charm prioritizing Chloe of all people instead of the Akuma as usual? What was Ladybug even supposed to do here? Yeah, she really should have stopped Miss Sans-Culotte, but was she expected to know about the police robots or something?

Chloe tells the press that Ladybug and Cat Noir helped an Akuma force the current mayor out of office. This is all part of Gabriel and Tomoe's plan, but once again, she's not wrong. The two still helped a dangerous supervillain force a major political shift, and the resulting power vacuum that allowed Chloe to rise to power is really their fault. After Cat Noir uses his Cataclysm to free himself and Ladybug from the nets the robots used to trap them with, we get the start of a running gag where Chloe struggles to say the word “democratic”, because remember, she's blonde, and therefore stupid. This happens several times across both episodes, and none of them are actually funny.

The episode ends with Chloe unlawfully taking control of Paris as the new mayor, which is totally different from Miss Sans-Culotte unlawfully forcing Andre to resign. The last time I saw double standards this blatant, I was watching RWBY.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... CHLOE

If there's one thing I love about my irredeemable villains, it's that they're so stupid, it's impossible to take them seriously. Not only did Chloe need Lila to hold her hand through every major decision she made throughout this episode (and by extension, the next), she failed to understand her dad's political career falling apart and needed to be told to take an opportunity to own an army of advanced robots, and couldn't even say the word “democratic”, which isn't that hard of a word to say even if you're borderline illiterate.

“Revolution” starts off with Chloe essentially declaring martial law in Paris for the time being. Once again, Cat Noir says the sane thing for once and suggests they go and beat up Chloe themselves. Well, I say that, but somehow, Cat Noir contradicts himself in his very next line.

Cat Noir: We can't let Chloe make up the rules.

Ladybug: If she were akumatized, it'd be easy. Find the object, break it, de-evilize her.

Cat Noir: But there is no object, and we can't attack someone who isn't akumatized, or we'd look like the supervillains.

I think you forgot something, guys...

THE ENTIRE FUCKING REASON SHE'S MAKING THE RULES IN THE FIRST PLACE IS BECAUSE YOU HELPED A SUPERVILLAIN IN THE LAST EPISODE! HOW DID YOU FORGET THIS VITAL INFORMATION?!

What the hell is with the sudden change of pace? They were willing to let Miss Sans-Culotte have her way by making Andre resign, so why can't they stop Chloe when she's already taken over Paris by force? I don't think you'd really look like supervillains if you stopped a tyrant instead of a democratically elected mayor. All you need to do is stop Chloe from controlling the robots, and you're golden.

In fact, where the hell is the rest of the Parisian government during all this, much less the French government? Why aren't they doing anything about this? We don't even get a throwaway line that explains it like Chloe bribed some politicians to keep quiet about the whole thing. Instead, despite an obvious violation of democratic rights, nobody outside of Paris is even bothering to stop this.

After a brief scene where some citizens are interviewed about Chloe, we see Adrien once again angsting about going to London. Like what Lila did with Chloe last episode, Plagg has to outright tell Adrien to talk to Marinette about this, because I guess this show has a really low opinion on the intelligence of people with blond hair. Also, good to know that even though Chloe is currently ruling over the city with an iron fist, she's still allowing air traffic to flow normally. Good thing too, as it's almost tourist season. Adrien tries to tell Marinette through a call, but she talks to him about Chloe, and how they can protest her regime.

Meanwhile, at City Hall, Chloe has already gone mad with power, as she orders her new box robots around, while Gabriel calls her to praise her for how she's been doing. Afterwards, Gabriel transforms into Monarch and absorbs the powers from a few Kwamis before Voyaging to City Hall. Chloe orders her robots to arrest Monarch, unaware than Tomoe is the one actually controlling them, only for Monarch to offer a deal... which Lila once again has to tell Chloe to listen to even though Chloe has worked with him in the past. Monarch offers to akumatize Chloe in a way that makes it look like she's not working for him. She accepts, and becomes Queen Mayor.

Queen Mayor's design is pretty simple, but I guess it works for the plan. It's just Chloe in an admittedly nice-looking jacket. Not sure if she can actually take it off like her other clothes or not, though. As for the Miraculous powers, Monarch transfers five of them to her robots, the Turtle Miraculous' Shelter, the Horse Miraculous' Voyage, the Ox Miraculous' Resistance, the Bee Miraculous' Venom, and the Rooster Miraculous' Sublimation, which gives her an unclear power. Given what she subjects her victims to later on, I guess it's the torture chamber she creates? I also don't get how the robots are capable of using the Miraculous powers when earlier episodes established you needed to have multiple Alliance rings to use them (Transmission, Pretension).

But now's as good a time as any to discuss Gabriel and Tomoe's plan, and why is makes absolutely no sense. In case you got confused, here's a quick summary: Tomoe created an army of robots designed to replace the police, and when Andre refused to use them, Gabriel recorded a private conversation so he could edit it, then transform into Monarch to akumatize someone and hope Ladybug and Cat Noir would let her force Andre to resign, then talk to Chloe about taking over as mayor, hope she says yes while Ladybug and Cat Noir do nothing to stop her, then pretend to give her control over Tomoe's robots before akumatizing Chloe so she can actually control the robots, all while praying that Chloe doesn't find out the truth, much the government doesn't get involved with this.

Gabriel and Tomoe did all of this instead of just, you know, akumatizing Chloe like usual. If the plan was to akumatize her all along while making it look like she's not akumatized, why didn't Gabriel just do that from the start as soon as Andre resigned and Miss Sans-Culotte rejected her Akuma? Also, why the hell is Chloe so crucial to the plan anyway? Yeah, they plan to throw her under the bus once they win, but wouldn't it make more sense if Tomoe, the one whose company made the robots, was the one who took over as Mayor?

It feels like the show is trying to recreate the plan from “Miracle Queen” where Chloe teams up with Monarch, but that plan at least made sense, as Chloe was crucial because of her connection to Ladybug. Here, it just feels like the writers needed an excuse to actually make Chloe a threat, but just like when Felix gave Gabriel all of the other Miraculous last season, it's forced. I'm not really seeing Chloe as a threat when she needed Gabriel to hand her the keys to an army of robots, and I don't care if that's the point. If the show wants us to take Chloe seriously as a villain, it needs her actions to speak for themselves instead of turning her into a glorified attack dog for Gabriel, Tomoe, and even Lila to an extent.

But here's my biggest problem with this plan. Consider the fact that Gabriel put Chloe in a major political position, presumably in order to bank on the fact that Ladybug and Cat Noir wouldn't use their powers to beat up a civilian. Gabriel then transformed into Monarch and akumatized Chloe into a form that would make it look like nobody would even tell she was akumatized in the first place. So let me ask this: If Gabriel's plan involves making it look like Chloe isn't akumatized, how is this going to actually attract Ladybug and Cat Noir so you can get their Miraculous?!

Yeah, Ladybug and Cat Noir eventually decide to fight Chloe anyway, but they don't learn she's akumatized until she blurts it out, and that's well into their fight. The plan is to turn the local government against Ladybug and Cat Noir and discredit in a way that prevents them from taking action against an obvious threat, but that just doesn't gel with Monarch's goal of getting their Miraculous. Did Gabriel and Tomoe assume that Ladybug and Cat Noir would just have no qualms with presumably beating up a civilian? If so, why even bother hiding the fact that Chloe was akumatized? This is a problem the plan faces no matter who the mayor is. Hell, if anything, it would be better if Chloe was akumatized from the start, as no matter how long she hides it for, she still has control over an army of robots armed with Miraculous powers, which wouldn't decrease the threat she poses in the slightest. This isn't even the first time an Akuma has hijacked the position of mayor (Rogercop), so it's even less excusable!

The next day, the students stage a protest at their school to get Ms. Bustier her job back, where Chloe (I'm calling her that instead because nobody else calls her Queen Mayor) questions why they're using their right to protest. She also plans to tell Marinette that Adrien is moving to London (something Gabriel told her earlier), but once again, Lila tells her not to. Also, you want to know how stupid the whole “Chloe can't say the word 'democracy' right” gag is? In the same scene where she struggles to say the D-word, Chloe uses the words “Libertarian”, “negative”, and “influence” correctly. It's hard to really buy Chloe as this illiterate moron while you still have her use words like this.

We get what can barely be considered a montage of Chloe abusing her power, but it's only like, three scenes before the plot kicks back in. We get a scene of Chloe screwing around in a private one-on-one class, an admittedly funny bit where she had a golden statue of herself commissioned to rest on the Arc de Triomphe, and then a scene where she shows Andre the ice cream man just how unfair her rule is.

Chloe: Did you pay the permit fee to sell your ice cream?!

Ice Cream Man Andre: I don't need a permit to sell love in Paris!

Chloe: Well, now you do! Otherwise, you'll end up in detention!

I mean, she reasonably calls out Andre for not having a permit to sell ice cream. How... evil of her?

Marinette goes back to her place, only to learn Chloe abducted her parents and placed them in “detention”, before doing the same to her thanks to one of her robots using a combination of Venom and Voyage. We do get an admittedly decent scene of Chloe threatening to tell Marinette about Adrien moving if Adrien doesn't become her deputy mayor, only for Adrien to vow to tell Marinette himself... even though he kept trying to tell her earlier in the episode, so this moment feels a little hollow. But hey, it's not like the finale will make this scene seem even worse in retrospect, right?

Adrien is sent to detention, a torture chamber where footage of Chloe mentally conditions the prisoners into believing that they're ridiculous or that they can always count on her, all while the prisoners are told to find a chair in an endless maze. Again, another decent visual I'll give the episode credit for. After Adrien, Marinette, and Alya escape detention, the former two transform into Cat Noir and Ladybug respectively and get ready to finally do something about Chloe.

Ladybug summons her Lucky Charm, a bikini bottom, and gets ready to stop Chloe alongside Cat Noir. Okay, Chloe has an army of robots on her side alongside the public's favor, so they'll need to come up with a really clever plan in order to—they're just going in guns blazing even though that's a terrible plan in a situation like this. Unsurprisingly, the two heroes immediately get trapped by a combination of Shelter and Resistance, nullifying the Lucky Charm and Cataclysm. Only now do they figure out Monarch is behind this, even though both of them saw the robots use Venom and Voyage to send them to detention, yet when Chloe actually says it, Ladybug is still shocked by this.

As Ladybug and Cat Noir start to detransform, they encourage the public to take action once they lose their Miraculous, even though Monarch will have won by then. As they do this, somehow, they stop detransforming until they manage to recharge their Miraculous by the power of because the plot says so. How did they do this?

Gabriel: I am an adult! Not transforming back is a power belonging to grown-ups!

Nooroo: I guess they must have grown up, Master.

Yes. Seriously. Even though there's been nothing else to signify that Ladybug and Cat Noir have matured this season, they now have the full power of their Miraculous at their disposal because now, they're adults. If you have to tell the audience that your characters have developed, then you've done a poor job at writing character development. Ms. Bustier takes the sash containing Chloe's Akuma while Cat Noir uses multiple Cataclysms to destroy the rest of her robots.

Ladybug de-evilizes the Akuma, oddly enough, doesn't use Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage, doesn't give Chloe a useless Magical Charm because Andre says he's going to “correct his own errors”, and after being convinced by her students, Ms. Bustier decides to run for mayor.

We then cut to a private jet where Audrey is chewing her daughter out for failing, even though she supported her earlier when she was mayor. Yeah, you know how it seemed like Andre was finally going to properly discipline his daughter. Dream on! Instead, he just decided to send her away with Audrey, someone who he knows is a terrible person, and lets her deal with Chloe in a way that heavily implies she's going to put Chloe through hell when she isn't at school.

Audrey: Because of you, we've lost face! You've ruined our name and our reputation! You had all the powers in your hands and you foolishly lost them! Bourgeois do not raise losers. You think you're going to London on vacation? Dream on! I'm going to take control of your life again, starting with your education.

This is seriously meant to be an appropriate punishment for Chloe while Andre gets absolutely no consequences for being responsible for his daughter turning out the way she did. I have only one thing to ask.

WHAT THE FUCK, ASTRUC?!

How the fuck did anyone involved with this show think any of this was okay?! How did Andre think this was okay when in the previous episode, he pointed out how awful Audrey was?! Why the fuckare both Andre and Audrey, the two people who helped make Chloe the person she is, getting away scot-free while Chloe gets condemned for everything?! Why the fuck are we supposed to be happy Audrey is diciplining Chloe when we know she's worse than she is?! WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE OKAY TO GREENLIGHT?!

I can either interpret this scene in two ways.

The first way is that, like he's said for a few years now, Astruc still doesn't see this as child abuse, and that Chloe is being punished like any other misbehaving child is.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES.

The second way, and I consider this to be the worse option, is that Astruc's team is fully aware that this now qualifies as child abuse, and that Chloe deserves this treatment. Put aside the fact that a common mentality of abusive parents is that they believe they're helping their children by “toughing them up”, this is still a demented way to punish any character, no matter how bad they are.

“But IOTA! Chloe needs to be punished for what she did!” Yeah, she does, but not like this. Hell, you don't need to do a lot to change the ending and avoid the harmful implications. Just have Andre be the one to move out of Paris with Chloe with the intent to send her to boarding school. Also, rather than say he's “going to take control of Chloe's life again”, have him explain that while he still loves Chloe, he isn't mayor anymore, so she can't use his name to get out of trouble, meaning that like it or not, Chloe will have to grow out of her bratty attitude or else she'll get in even more trouble. That way, we see Andre actually taking responsibility for how bad of a parent he was, Chloe realizes her old tricks won't work anymore while the door is open for a redemption should you choose to bring her back next season, and most importantly, there's no implications of child abuse here.

But believe it or not, things were even worse for these episodes initially. As detailed in the Season 5 scripts, there was originally a scene in “Collusion” where Andre used his powers as mayor to divorce Audrey and steal custody of Zoe while leaving her to deal with Chloe herself, officially joining Jagged Stone in the Rich Deadbeat Dads Club.

And Astruc wasn't even aware it was taken out, not being told this until he found out on Twitter.

Because somehow, he considered Andre walking out on his family and leaving his biological daughter in the hands of an abusive bitch crucial to the story.

And do you want to know the worst part? No matter how you view this scene, either way, it's portrayed as Chloe getting punished, but the next scene plays Gabriel abusing Adrien straight, ordering him to pack his things as he'll be heading to London that night. The show literally can't make up its mind on whether child abuse is bad or not. Why is it okay for Chloe to be mistreated by her parents while we're supposed to sympathize with Adrien? No matter who the victim is, CHILD ABUSE IS STILL CHILD ABUSE.

I don't care how bad Chloe is, child abuse is NEVER justifiable, and it's disgusting that the show seems to take that stance, whether they intended to or not.

Let's just get the last few minutes out of the way so I can end this. Adrien is forced to pack for London, Nathalie does nothing to stop Gabriel from doing this, Lila steals one of Tomoe's computers, Gabriel tells Tomoe about keeping Adrien and Kagami safe in London while they execute “Operation: Perfect Alliance”, Marinette and Adrien have their first kiss for the third time in five seasons, Chloe calls Marinette to tell her about Adrien, but Marinette tells her to piss off, and Chloe ends the episode crying because Astruc thinks she deserves to suffer. THERE. I'M DONE.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... GABRIEL

Gabriel joins Marinette in earning the Biggest Idiot Award for the third time this season. He had no reason to include Chloe in his stupid plan, he was essentially banking on Ladybug and Cat Noir choosing to do nothing, and tried to create a scenario were Ladybug and Cat Noir wouldn't be able to lose their Miraculous. At least you could argue that Ladybug and Cat Noir needed to stay on the down low at first. Gabriel doesn't get that excuse.

These episodes sucked, but I honestly thought they were slightly better than the last two.

Yeah, all joking aside, I thought these episodes had more positives to them than “Revelation” and “Confrontation”. Where those two episodes were insulting and confusing respectively, these two episodes were the kind of bad I've come to expect from the show. There's plotholes, bad morals, and characters acting like idiots, but it's par for the course. I was far from a fan of these two episodes, but other than the ending of “Revolution”, I was nowhere near as angry I was with “Revelation” and “Confrontation”.

Surprisingly, I was more upset rewatching “Collusion” than I did “Revolution”. Yeah, “Revolution” was bad, but at least Chloe was supposed to be a bad example of how lead a city, unlike what Andre and Ms. Bustier were doing. Those characters both taught bad morals, intentional or not, and just like Ladybug and Cat Noir, were never called out for unintentionally leading to Chloe's rise to power. With Andre, we were supposed to just be expected to be okay with all the times he abused his power as mayor while cheering when he quit with no negative repercussions, and with Ms. Bustier, we were supposed to be okay with her attempting to stage a violent coup against Andre, the character the episode is already trying to make us sympathize with.

Between these two characters, along with Sabrina and Felix, the show really loves operating on the “There's Always a Bigger Fish” rule. It doesn't matter how many bad things you do, if someone else is pulling the strings, you won't get in trouble at all... unless you're Chloe, so, in that case, BURN IN HELL. Like I mentioned earlier, you can acknowledge someone only did bad things because they were pressured to while saying they should at least be held accountable for their actions in some way that doesn't involve kicking them out of the country.

The moral of when it's okay to use violence was pretty confusing, and not just because this is a superhero show where almost every problem is solved by fighting it. Ladybug tries to convince Miss Sans-Culotte that political conflicts shouldn't be solved with violence, but even if she didn't convince her to change her mind, Andre was already ready to resign as mayor, and Miss Sans-Culotte still angrily demanded he resign in a way that sounded like a violent threat. There's also the fact that despite saying that violence isn't always the answer, the conflict that was sort of resolved with no violence ended up making things worse as Chloe was able to seize power once Andre resigned.

Also, it's pretty funny how absolutely nobody ever tried to reason with Chloe after she became mayor, not even Ms. Bustier. In that case, violence was obviously the answer, but the show never really tells us what makes Miss Sans-Culotte better than Chloe. You can't teach an anti-violence moral in one episode and then lead into an episode where violence solves the problem instead of diplomacy. And I'm not one of those saints who believes that every conflict should be handled nonviolently. Sometimes, people won't listen to words, but will at least hear you out if you use your fists. I'd personally argue the conflict of “Revolution” would have worked if had this kind of lesson. Just have Ladybug and Cat Noir tried to solve things with Chloe diplomatically during the first act, only to realize that Chloe won't budge, so they have no choice but to take her out of power themselves. It'd make a hell of a lot more sense than having Marinette and Adrien do nothing while Chloe makes everyone's life miserable because the writers need to pad the runtime.

I already mentioned this, but for an episode that tries to show how awful Chloe is, she barely does anything on her own. She needs Lila to tell her to go along with Gabriel's plan, she needs Gabriel and Tomoe to pretend to give her an army of robots, and she needs Monarch to akumatize her to make the robots even more dangerous. If you need another character to do something to make Chloe a threat, why should we only see Chloe as the threat? These two episodes keep going back and forth on whether Chloe is the worst or not. When they're not showing her taking control of Paris on her own like should be doing, the writers take the time to remind the audience that Lila and Gabriel are pulling Chloe around by telling her what to do, all while they each muse about how this is all going according to keikaku. If you want to make Chloe a threat and have her live up to her reputation as a terrible human being, she should actually have agency and should be cunning enough to be a dangerous villain in her own right.

Unlike with “Confrontation”, which gave more focus to side characters for some reason, “Revolution” actually focused on the main characters and their conflict with Chloe, like we should have gotten with Lila. Yeah, Ladybug and Cat Noir wait far too long to stop her, but unlike with Lila last episode, they at least had a semblance of a reason for hesitating to beat up a civilian. Either way, it felt like an obstacle that Ladybug and Cat Noir actually overcame together instead of someone else helping them out at the last second. Yeah, the Miraculous boost was a glorified deus ex machina, but it was at least a thing established in the show since Season 3.

Even the stuff with Chloe actually felt like stuff she would do, unlike in Season 4, which tried to give her an interest in bananas and soccer for the sake of giving her screentime as a villain (Queen Banana, Penalteam). When Chloe had free reign of the city, she actually did stuff on her own that was clever, like the detention setup. We really needed more of this Chloe for the past two seasons if the writers wanted to make her work as a villain, yet they waited until the end of the fifth season to actually do something interesting, and that was after she was told what to do for most of the episode.

And then there's how the conflict was resolved. It's really hard to buy Ladybug and Cat Noir “growing up” and unlocking the full power of their Miraculous, because just like when it was first established in Season 3, it's such a vague term, and only leaves you asking more questions. Neither Marinette or Adrien really had a big moment of personal growth this episode. Yeah, Adrien wanted to tell Marinette about London, but he had been trying to do that since Chloe first took over as mayor. While it's a decent piece of character development after keeping it secret for the past few episodes, it doesn't really do a lot to justify Adrien “growing up”.

Then again, at least Adrien actually got a moment to show his growth compared to Marinette. All she did before she “grew up” was tell the citizens of Paris to keep fighting, but it was such a vague speech and doesn't really scream becoming an adult. If she was going to sacrifice her identity or do something dangerous in order to stop Chloe, that could have worked. Instead, what I can assume was her big moment came after she defeated Chloe, the call at the end, and even then, it was just her telling Chloe how much she sucks, something she's never been afraid to say since the show started. Once again, if you need to tell the audience your show has character development, you're not good at writing character development.

Overall, while these episodes were both really bad, I still think they're at least more tolerable than the previous two.

And with that, I am officially done with the poorly written Chloe episodes. Sure, I still have three more episodes until I finish Season 5, but least this means Astruc will hopefully stop using her in the show, or at least ranting about her on Twitter. Maybe I'll make a character analysis post about her or talk about her during the overview post, but for now...

[frickingnerd]

what the heart wants (but can't have)

pairing: adrien agreste x gn!reader (+marinette dupain-cheng)

summary: despite your crush on adrien, you help him get ready for his date with marinette. after all, you just want him to be happy…

tags: unrequited crush (reader on adrien), angst, oblivious best friend!adrien, adrinette, secret confession (reader to adrien)

"do i really look okay?"

adrien stared at himself in the mirror. he had swapped his regular black shirt and white jacket for a few more formal looking clothes from his fathers collection that you picked out for him. 

seeing those unfamiliar clothes on him did look odd at first, but after a few more moments looking at him, it really did bring out the best in him. but adrien was a model, he could pull off any clothes, if he wanted to. 

"you look good" you told him with a soft smile on your lips, watching the boy, as he kept staring at himself through the mirror. "but I'm sure marinette will like you, no matter what you wear" 

"probably, but…" adrien hesitated. 

"i won't let you swap clothes again!" you said firmly. "you've tried on so many things that you'll run out of time, if you keep this up" 

"maybe an accessoire or–" 

"adrien–!" 

you stepped forward, putting your hands on his shoulder. 

"you look great! you are quite literally a model. no matter what you put on, marinette will think you look great. she'd probably still think you look great if you show up there wearing only your pajamas" 

a small chuckle escaped adriens lips, making you smile as well. 

"you look perfect, alright? but that's beside the point. you are a great guy, adrien. that's all that counts. i know that. marinette knows that. we all know it. it doesn't matter how you look, marinette loves you for your personality. for your kindness" 

there was no way you could know if that was truly what marinette felt for adrien. but it was how you felt for him. he was the kindest guy you ever met. despite his rich upbringing, he wasn't spoiled or looked down on others. he was friendly to everyone he met, even too friendly at times. he was always eager to help everyone. marinette would be an idiot if she'd turn him down. 

and yet, a part of you hoped she'd reject him. you knew it was cruel to wish for that, knowing how madly in love adrien was with her. but you couldn't help but want to be in marinette's place. you wanted to be the one he went on a date with today, not marinette. and yet, you didn't have the courage to tell him that. and you knew that you shouldn't even think about telling him! 

adrien was so happy to finally go out on a date with marinette. you didn't have the heart to ruin this day for adrien. you had even helped him out, just to make sure this would be the best date he ever went on. even if it wasn't with you…

[milarqui]

Scarlet Lady: Origins (Part 1)

Directory

That blasted girl! she thought. She had been the queen of this class of pathetic, poor peasants for years, and Dupain-Cheng, who was the worst of the lot, had somehow got a spine to replace the baguette she once had!

Baguette, ha! I kill myself.

Maybe that new girl, Cesar or whatever, had something to do with it, but she needed to make sure Dupain-Cheng got the message that no one got away with messing with Chloé Bourgeois, the Princess of Paris!

“I’ve got to get back at that upstart Marinette and Alya for talking back to me,” she muttered, and she looked towards the girl, who was distracted doing whatever homework she had missed, the clumsy idiot. And she also saw her bag - seriously, what a horrible thing, not even a Dior! - unattended to a side.

Struck by a brilliant idea, she carefully walked towards the bag and put her hand inside. Maybe she could find something she could use to put her down, back into her place. Her fingertips touched something wooden and polished, and when she grabbed it and pulled out, she saw that it was an eight-sided box that looked really old and expensive.

Hahahaha! This is probably an old family heirloom! she thought, crowing to herself with an evil smile. She’ll be totally freaked when she can’t find it! Perfect!

As she left back for her seat, Marinette remained completely oblivious to what just happened.

And would remain so for months.

----

Perhaps, if she had known what that act of thievery would bring her, Chloé Bourgeois might not have carried it out.

Perhaps.

But Chloé Bourgeois was never one to think on the long-term consequences of her actions.

----

Back home from that peasants’ building known as Collège Françoise Dupont, Chloé sat on her bed and picked the box she had purloined - not robbed, robbing is something those who are pathetic do! - and admired its colors. 

“A pity that this was wasted in that family of boulangers,” she said. “Let’s see what kind of treasure I won. Hee hee!”

And she opened the box.

----

Within the box, the kwami known as Tikki had been waiting for this moment for quite some time. Master Fu had shown her how her future holder, Marinette, looked and acted like, and she knew it would be a wonderful partnership. With Nooroo and the Butterfly Miraculous in the hands of someone who would use it for evil, someone needed to act - and who better than the girl that showed strength of character and compassion in every act?

The box opened. This was her moment!

“Hello, Marinette!” she said, smiling. “Please, don’t be afraid, everything’s--!”

The light that usually covered this kind of thing vanished... and she saw that the person in front of her was clearly not Marinette. Blonde, long hair in a ponytail, rather than black and held in pigtails. Blue, cruel eyes instead of innocent blue. Features of Caucasian ascendancy instead of Chinese.

Conclusion: Master Fu had made a mistake.

“WHO ARE YOU?!” Tikki screamed, trying to make a sense of what had happened.

“THAT’S MY LINE!!!” the girl screamed even louder.

----

Elsewhere in Paris, a boy by the name of Adrien Agreste had discovered a similar box, containing a ring and the kwami known as Plagg. After the terrible day he had had, with his attempt to finally go to school thwarted by Nathalie and his bodyguard, he had listened to the cat-like creature and jumped into the chance to become something he had always wanted to be.

A Superhero.

“THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!!!”

----

He would regret those words soon enough.

----

Chloé couldn’t make heads or tails of what this little bug was telling her.

Going out there to fight some monster that had suddenly shown up?

"You’re the only one who can stop the Akuma!” the bug said.

As in, doing something sweaty?

“You use Lucky Charm to save the day?”

Helping other people? Her mere presence was enough to do that! She didn’t need to do like Majestia and waste her precious time in making people think they had any value beyond doing what she wanted.

“You have a partner?!”

And not even a way to claim the credit! No, she had to share it with some no-name peasant, and she couldn’t tell anyone she was the one that had saved their lives! No, she had to hide herself for whatever dumb, irrelevant reason the bug had mentioned, something about someone wanting to rob the earrings she had purloined from Dupain-Cheng.

But the bug was persistent. It kept pestering her until she agreed to it.

Well, maybe she could actually do something and bask in the love of the masses.

----

At the Dupain-Cheng’s house, Marinette thought she had earned a prize for finally telling Chloé off for being a jerk, so she had made herself some popcorn and gone to watch TV, where the usual programming had been replaced by a live newscast.

Un Super-Vilain Á Paris?

A giant creature, who for some reason the newscast had identified as Stoneheart, had shown up in the middle of the city, and was causing quite a lot of chaos.

“Stoneheart is moving toward the Montparnasse Tower!” Nadja Chamack reported, clearly shaken by the current events, as the titan punched a car and sent it flying several meters away.

“Sucks,” Marinette said, munching on her popcorn. Not like there was much she could do. If she were part of something like United Heroez, she would probably jump into action, but she was a civilian, so--

“The monster... seems to be unstoppable!”

And, as Stoneheart kept ambling towards its target, at the down left corner of the screen, Marinette saw something.

Or, rather, someone.

“ALYA!!! What are you doing?!”

----

How does Lois Lane always look so perfect when she does this?! Alya Césaire thought, panting as she pedaled behind Stoneheart. This could be the start of her journalist career!

----

“I’m starting to get the hang of this,” Adrien - no, Chat Noir, that was his superhero name - said, following the trail Stoneheart was leaving behind.

“aaaaaaaaAAAAAHHHHH!”

Pain.

Before he could react, someone had crashed on him, and now the two of them were tangled in some sort of thin rope and hanging upside down. And, as he recovered his sight, he was met with someone wearing a domino mask, similar to his, but red with black polka dots.

This had to be the partner Plagg had mentioned! Well, maybe he could break the ice and begin with a good joke.

“Well, nice of you to drop in!”

“Omigod, no.”

Seriously? Not even a smile?

Tough crowd.

The girl in red pulled on something, and the rope around them suddenly became untangled, causing them both to fall to the ground.

“Say, what’s your name, partner?”

“Why should I tell you?” she replied, with a tone that reminded him too much of his father talking down to someone else - usually him.

“I’m Chat Noir! Nice to meet you!” A loud noise reminded him that Stoneheart was still loose, and he swung back in action. “Come on! Stoneheart seems to be going for the Parc des Princes!”

“Stone-who?” he thinks he hears her say, but it might have just been his imagination. He didn’t pay it any mind.

It was time to be a hero!

----

Sabine Dupain-Cheng looked in shock as her darling daughter nearly crashed down the stairs and towards the door, a look of dread in her face.

“Marinette, where are you going? Lunch is almost over.”

“Out because my new best friend is INSANE!!!”

The bell clinked as Marinette opened the door, picked her bike and started to pedal westward.

“What’s going on here?” she wondered. Well, she would certainly learn about it later.

----

Chat Noir charged towards Stoneheart, his new staff - he could make it grow like Goku did, which was amazing - in hand, and attacked the creature, distracting it from the guy it was trying to attack.

BANG! the staff sounded as it hit Stoneheart’s head.

And then Stoneheart grew in size.

“Oh shit, he’s bigger!” he said, dodging an attack. “Where are you, partner?”

Looking around, he saw his partner standing at the top of the stadium.

“Ah, there!” Good, she could jump in and help him stop Stone- wait, was that a compact mirror?

She was preening in front of a mirror while he was here, risking his life?

“HEY!!!” he shouted, dodging another attack.

----

It looked like that mangy cat had everything well in hand, so she didn’t need to do anything at all! Whew! She could just stand here and let him do all the work, that was what peasants were for, after all.

“What are you waiting for, Super Red Bug?” a voice said from below, and Chloé Bourgeois turned to see the new girl down below, a cellphone in her hands.

“Ugh, you again.”

“The world is watching you!” Césaire said, gleaming and smiling.

“The world is watching...?”

Oh my god, this was perfect! She could jump in, easily put a stop to the monster and bang! Instantly famous! The adoration of all Paris was at hand!

She closed her new compact mirror and grinned.

----

Chat Noir was starting to feel that maaaaaaybe he was a bit over his head. Nothing he could do to Stoneheart could stop him, and it was a hard task to just keep dodging everything. And, of course, his partner refused to do anything.

Stoneheart had grabbed one of the goals with its gigantic left hand, and was clumsily attempting to swing it at him, but fortunately his years of fencing had given him the reflexes to avoid such a large object, and the suit was actually making him faster and stronger!

But then Stoneheart tossed the goal - and it was clear the target was not him, but a red-haired, dark-skinned girl that seemed to have followed them into the stadium.

Oh, no!! he thought, and he turned about to attempt to stop the large object from hitting the girl.

“ALYA!”

Before he could act, someone else, a girl with black bluish hair in a pair of cute pigtails, tackled the red-haired girl out of the way.

“You came!” the red-haired girl - Alya - said.

“Yeah, but why did you?!” the new girl replied.

Whew, crisis solved. Now, he had to find out how to stop Stoneheart, quickly, before it could cause further disruption.

“Cat boy!” the pigtailed girl said, and he felt her hand on his shoulder.

“It’s Chat Noir, actually!” he replied, turning to look at her - and wow, she was quite cute and blushing.

“He doesn’t open his fist!”

“Good note, thanks! Maybe you should be a hero!”

Anyone could be better than his "partner". Not that that was a high bar to surpass.

“Priorities!” the girl said.

----

Chloé could only see red. That blasted cat had said that Dupain-Cheng should be a hero? Ha! As if!

She jumped and kicked Stone-whatever in the head, sending it tumbling away as she turned to the cat and her classmate.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?!” she shouted.

“Wow, wow, calm down! Maybe we need to use our powers to stop him? Cataclysm! My power destroys anything,” the cat said, his right hand covered in some sort of icky black thing.

“How barbaric. And useless. Like you.”

“Did I look cool?”

The cat thought he was cool? She wanted to laugh.

“Absolutely not.”

The cat grabbed the large net thing that had fallen nearby with his right hand, and suddenly the white on the stick became black, and in seconds the entire thing had disintegrated into dust.

She was sickened to have to admit it, but that trick left her hair standing.

“Jesus...”

“So, what about yours?” the cat challenged her.

You’re going to swallow those words, you mangy cat!

“Lucky Charm!” she declaimed. After a flash of pink, she felt something heavy in her hands, that seemed to be made of rubber and looked a lot like this unfashionable costume she was wearing. “Oh, ha ha, Tikki.”

“So, how useful is your power?” he taunted her, and she angrily threw the thing at him.

“Why not ask your other partner?!”

“You just don’t want to work,” he muttered. Well, of course she didn’t! Work was something someone as important as her shouldn’t be bothered with!

You’ll come crawling back to me once you see how useless Clumsinette is, she thought, grinning at the idea of her rival doing anything useful at all.

“Cat boy, run interference!”

“it’s Chat Noir!”

“Alya, the tap!”

“You got it!”

What.

----

Chat Noir followed the black-haired girl’s instructions. The moment he had given her the polka-dotted red wetsuit, she had immediately come up with a plan. It was a bit risky, particularly since he would have to let himself get captured, but something told him he could trust her.

His trust was rewarded. The girl had managed to trick Stoneheart into grabbing her and the wetsuit, dropping a purple rock from its closed right fist, and then Alya had opened the hose tap, filling the wetsuit to grow and forcing Stoneheart’s fist open. The girl had quickly jumped out, ran for the rock and stomped on it, letting out a black butterfly and a crumpled piece of paper.

And Stoneheart transformed back into a large boy that looked to be his age.

The girl picked up the note and ran for the large boy, shouting what he presumed was his name, as his ring began to beep.

“What’s the noise mean?”

“Dunno, I didn’t read the manual,” he said. Maybe he should have waited for Plagg to explain everything before transforming?

----

“Kim wrote it. He’s always making fun of me,” Ivan confessed to his classmate.

“Pa, don't worry about him. He cried when we saw The Little Mermaid when we were 10.”

He chuckled.

----

Chloé grabbed the rubber thing - now empty of water - and attempted to rip it, but it only stretched without giving in.

No one’s paying attention to me!

How could this be? She was Chloé Bourgeois! The Princess of Paris! Everyone’s eyes should be on her! All the boys should be in love with her! Everyone should worship her! But here they were, paying attention to a mangy cat and Bruel who got his dumb arse turned into a monster, instead of her!

Oh, wait. Tikki had said something about this, right? That she could fix stuff broken by the monsters with this Lucky Charm thing?

“Hey, reporter girl! Catch this! MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!”

The Lucky Charm transformed into a cloud of ladybugs that flew around everything Bruel had destroyed as Stone-whatever. In moments everything was back to its normal state - still below the quality she demanded of everything, of course.

“Whoa!!” Césaire said, and she rushed towards her, cellphone in hand. “Incredible! You can fix everything?! Hey, what do we call you, Wonderbug?!”

Now, that was closer to what she expected. Still not enough simpering, but closer.

“Well, obviously not that. Let’s see...”

----

Chat Noir was tired. Fighting Stoneheart had taken out a lot off him. And he realized that maybe the beeping was some kind of count down.

And then he heard his ‘partner’ proclaim to have saved the day ‘in spite of her clumsy partner’s inability to do anything right’.

“You... you didn’t do anything,” he muttered, astonished of her credit stealing. But then the beeping became more insistent and he left: he had to return home before someone noticed he wasn’t in his room.

Somehow, the beginning of being a hero had become nothing like he had thought it would be.

----

Fu sipped on his favorite tea, relaxing after a long day. Wayzz had reported that the negative energy of the Butterfly had vanished, which meant that young Marinette and young Adrien had managed to stop Stoneheart and captured the corrupted butterfly transforming him. Good. Ah, if only he were a few decades younger! He would have been able to go out there and guide the two young heroes in the matters of the Miraculous.

Wayzz clicked on the remote to turn on the TV and see if the news were mentioning anything about the attack.

“... our new hero, Scarlet Lady...”

He turned to look at the screen, only to notice something strange, because the girl wearing the Ladybug Miraculous didn’t resemble his Chosen wielder at all-

“... thanks to amateur footage by local student, Alya Césaire...”

-and then the screen showed Marinette and a red-haired girl he supposed was this Alya Césaire, smiling at the camera.

“Wait...” Wayzz said. The problem was clear: if Marinette was there in her civilian clothes, who was wearing the Ladybug Miraculous?

He barely noticed as his teacup crashed into the floor.

----

“So... her name is Scarlet Lady...”

Plagg was a bit disturbed by his bearer’s angry face. What in the holy name of Camembert had happened to leave him like he had gone a few rounds with trying to swallow some mushrooms?

“I’ll call her Scar for the scars she leaves on my life.”

Uh-oh.

----

Tikki enjoyed the cookies Chloé had offered her.

But she still wondered why she was here, instead of with Marinette.

And she remembered there was something she hadn’t explained.

“Did you catch the akuma?”

Chloé gave her what she supposed was what humans called the ‘deer-in-the-headlights’ look.

“Huh?”

Uh-oh.

----

Origins (Part 2)

@zoe-oneesama Hope you liked this.

[anna-scribbles]

hey anna! the wait for kwami’s choice part 2 truly is abysmal and it’s so hard to navigate through the tag with all the leaks about, do you have any fic recs to tide us over until gloob puts us out of our misery?

not only do I have fic recs, I also have way too much to do rn and therefore will spend an inordinate amount of time crafting a detailed rec list for you 😘 (we can also just consider this my 2022 ao3 wrapped lol)

goes without saying perhaps, but ANYTHING by @peachcitt is gold and also uniquely devastating, some of my particular favorites being:

metamorphosis - 97k, enemies, sleepovers, you get it. i'm normal

those benevolent stars - 23k, ladrien thief/prince/soulmates au. what more do I even need to say

chat noir's white french man hit list for feminist purposes - 7k, hilarious and devastating, this fic is a child to me

double dare - 32k, ladrien, absolutely everything. cemented my friendship w/ peach bc I had to scream at her everyday abt it

I thought the plane was going down - 11k, attuned to my tastes specifically, adrinette having a History while on airplanes

@carpisuns also puts out banger after banger like it's her dayjob, specializing in understanding the ridiculous nature of the lovesquare to such a degree and also being the funniest person alive. some of my faves from her are:

tell me something I don't know - 120k, the marichat fic EVER, mar's dissertation on lovesquare and guess what she's right

pink - 14k wip, adrien loves marinette, SOFT

two idiots and a hamster (collab with @botherkupo) - 24k, adrinette roommates, makes me cry laugh

@picayunearts is a goddess on earth. she bends word and image flawlessly to her will. recently she has enraptured me with

final girl - 41k, marichat, au where marinette succeeds in giving up her miraculous to alya in origins. INCREDIBLE marinette character study

@rosekasa invented ladynoir and i'm not afraid to say it. check out everything on her ao3 but just note the following

when things were good - 15k wip, breakup fic/post hawkmoth takedown, has been ruining me in a SPECIAL way

new marinette 12k, post-guardianship memory loss marinette, a classic

like poles of a magnet - 12k, enemies au, hurts my feelings

ya'aburnee - 13k, ladynoir, HURTS ME VERY MUCH. I'VE NOT RECOVERED

@buggachat's fics always feel like i'm attending a course on adrien and marinette's true characterizations explained to me by someone with a PhD in lovesquare and I walk away enlightened. she has an incredible gift for storytelling and just Getting It. anyway read

maintaining a professional distance - 43k, ladynoir hotel room shenanigans, god-tier characterization

when you're near 10k, ladynoir dating but adrinette have never met, a classic

@sha-nwa should honestly quit her career and write lovesquare fanfiction for me full time. proof:

the way I loved you - 68k, marichat break up fic, will be cemented into my mind forever

photograph - 1k, sweet adrinette, abby loves making me cry

things WOULD be amiss if I did not mention @officialratprince (carolinaa on ao3) bc their fics derailed my homework schedule on several occasions last semester, though I'll be honest that their fics are not for the faint of heart or those who wish adrien agreste to have a good time. my faves are

I will take it / it can't go wrong series - 3 fics at 16k, 25k, and 39k, adrien's journey through experiencing child abuse and his friends being there for him, culminating in gabriel's court trial

home sick - 14k wip, adrien gets pneumonia and Everything Is Really Bad

other various fics I love for various reasons:

how hawkmoth got his groove back series by @agrestenoir - 2 fics at 3k and 1k, one of my favorite crack fics i read last year. had me crying laughing

1 step forward, 3 steps back by agnes writes - 10k, breaks my heart every time I read it. also makes me legitimately angry at adrien while still keeping him in character which is a feat in and of itself

the last day on earth by reiaji - 10k, chat blanc keeps happening as marinette gets older, I am incapable of not recommending this fic

okay now go forth and don't do your work<3

[xhanisai]

sometimes ladybug can be an idiot.

AO3

Pairing - Ladrien, Adrinette + Marichat

Prompt - 'Purr Purr'

Summary -

'Do all blond boys purr and get cuddly?'

Ladybug sputtered internally, face composed and arms full of one blushy, cuddly (and apparently) purring Adrien Agreste as she leapt from building to building in order to take him to safety. His chest continued to literally rumble like her partner's namesake, vibrating hard enough to make her own chest shake along with his whilst the top of his golden hair rubbed itself under her chin in pure delight. As if he found the key to the highest of the seven heavens and paying zero attention to how the heroine had to perform daredevil-like acrobatics and parkour just to keep him safe.

Like an ignorant little cat.

~(x)~

.

.

.

 'Do all blond boys purr and get cuddly?'

 Ladybug sputtered internally, face composed and arms full of one blushy, cuddly (and apparently) purring Adrien Agreste as she leapt from building to building in order to take him to safety. His chest continued to literally rumble like her partner's namesake, vibrating hard enough to make her own chest shake along with his whilst the top of his golden hair rubbed itself under her chin in pure delight. As if he found the key to the highest of the seven heavens and paying zero attention to how the heroine had to perform daredevil-like acrobatics and parkour just to keep him safe.

Like an ignorant little cat.

 The latest Akuma of the day was after him and wouldn't settle for anything less other than ripping the model apart limb from limb or skewering him with his villainous sword and using him as a makeshift javelin so that he could shoot the poor teen all the way to the moon. In fact, Ladybug would have been quite impressed with the Akuma's creative yet morbid threats that spilt out of his feral mouth had they not been directed towards the love of her life. He was determined to turn her purring future husband— ehem, her purring very good friend into a sheesh kebab.

 And why, you may ask?

Rewind to thirty minutes earlier.  An upperclassman at collège Françoise Dupont had been crushing on Marinette Dupain-Cheng for quite a while; often paying a visit to her parents' boulangerie and buying way too many pastries just to get a glimpse of her at the cashier, sticking around at the front of the school steps in the morning till the bell rings just to see her dart into the building in a rush and even making sure to sit at a table in the cafeteria that was closest to the one she was at during lunch just so he could watch her in his peripheral vision.

 Deaf to all of his peers' warnings and paying no mind to a single word they said ("You don't even know if she's single!", "Not a good idea dude...", "Bro, give up!"), he soon mustered up all of his courage and everything to finally, finally ask her out.

 In front of everyone.

 .

 The apple of his eye, whilst slightly flattered by his grand declaration (or so he thought), was also really uncomfortable and incredibly confused. She politely declined much to the upperclassman's dismay so of course he had to keep insisting and make her change her mind! Just because she's saying "no" doesn't mean that she really means it— she could be playing hard to get like all girls usually do, right!?

 Plus, how is he supposed to win her over if she doesn't give him a chance? He's cool, good-looking, older and has moderately good grades! Sure, she has no idea who he is but this is why it's more of a reason for her to agree and go out with him because how else will they get to know each other? All of his exes also said that he's a very good kisser (after much prodding and whining from his side every time they weren't feeling up for a kiss during the times they were together) so surely, once he gets Marinette to go on the date with him and he kisses her goodnight, she'll fall madly in love with him too, right???

 He just couldn't see why anyone would turn him down!

 However, all of a sudden, Adrien FUCKING Agreste appeared.

 .

 Not only did that evil little brat give him such an intimidating glare that it sent paralysing fear down the upperclassman's spine but he also had the balls to grab Marinette in his arms and envelope her tiny frame within!? All whilst glaring at him!?!? (He was only a few centimetres shorter than the upperclassman too so why is this blondie allowed to be so scary!?)  And the cherry on top???

 The way that Marinette stared up at Adrien with literal pink heart eyes and wearing the most adorable blush he'd ever seen, as if she belonged in that stupid model's embrace. He swore, SWORE to all the Gods and ancient powers he could ever think of that he saw Adrien Stupid-greste smirk triumphantly when Marinette relaxed and hid her face into his chest with a quiet squeal! So obviously that was more than enough of a reasoning for the upperclassman to get akumatised and gut the golden-haired stinking cat, right?!

And soon, he succumbed to the smooth, seductive voice belonging to the notorious villain and didn't waste any time to accept his offer of supernatural power in exchange for the miraculous of Ladybug and Chat Noir.

Present  Too caught up in her thoughts, Ladybug didn't catch the happy mumblings from the teen in her arms who continued to act like he was forever stuck in bliss and ecstasy and was practically cuddling her.

 "Hehhe~ mine ♡ My Lady, my Marinette, mine ♡♡♡ I love you, I love you, I love you~ we're so getting married and will have a million babies and live on an island together with a pet hamster~!" 

 Ladybug continued to stay wrapped up in her thoughts even after she successfully put Adrien in a safe place, was joined by her beloved Chat Noir and when they instantly took down the Akuma at record-breaking speed. She managed to clock how similar Adrien's and Chat Noir's behaviours were when compared together and yet all she concluded in her insanely intelligent brain was that it was just a 'blond-haired, green-eyed boy' sort of thing.

 Oh well.

 At least the upperclassman will finally leave her alone. For now? She has to deal with her purring, giggly partner whose arms are practically glued around her waist like the lovesick kitten he is. At least her Chaton is the cutest thing ever. And if anyone saw her pressing lots of kisses on his fluffy head— shush.

OMAKE

 "Months! You knew that I was Ladybug for months and you didn't tell me?" Marinette scolded the big black and yellow puddle of happy goop on her lap, her arms crossed and eyes narrowed whilst he continued to watch her with those big, glittery greens of his that made it absolutely impossible to stay mad at him. Even his belt tail curved itself into the shape of a heart from time to time before deciding to wrap itself around her ankle as if it were an extension of her partner's feelings.

 Technically, she wasn't as mad as she wanted to sound but dammit, she had to teach her silly Chaton a lesson!

 "Actually, I'd say I've known for over half a year now, ma Princesse," He leaned up from her lap with a mischievous smile and quickly pecked her nose to get her to blush just the way he liked it. Dieu, he wanted to kiss her so badly on the lips. Judging by the way she bloomed in a brighter pink colour, she must have realised his wishful intentions.

 "H-Hey! Bad Chaton! Keep your lips to yourself!" Her flustered stutter only worsened mid-sentence, unconsciously melting into the leather-clad hand that lovingly cupped the side of her face.

 Dammit.

 "But I love giving you kisses~" He flashed her his iconic kitten eyes, faux ears drooping and brows furrowed. "I can't let a single second go without making My Lady feel loved, non?" He pressed a couple more kisses on her cheek, each getting closer and closer to her lips. "Besides...I feel like from now on, I should wear some lipstick and kiss you all over so that no more annoying boys will pester you for a date when I'm right there. Hmmph."

 "What do you mean when you're right there— " And then, and finally fucking then, everything clicked for Marinette Dupain-Cheng and the two blond-haired, green-eyed purring boys in her life turned into one. "ADRIEN!?!??!"

 Bisou.

.

.

.

~(x)~

[unecoccinellenoire]

4 +30 gabenath

"Hey," Nathalie's hair tickles his face, and he opens his eyes to his lover looking down at him, "it's time for you to go Betterfly. I'm usually the first one up in this house, but Gabriel gets these random spurts of inspiration at any time of the day. We can't risk him finding you."

Guilt squrims in his stomach the way it always does when he's reminded his assistant has no idea she's sleeping with the man she's so worried about finding him.

"You don't have to wory about that."

"I really do. If I lose this job I'll have to find somewhere to live. Even if I get another job my disposable income will be way down with rental prices."

"I'd look after you."

"You always tell me it's not safe for me to know who you are and now you're suggesting that as if we can move in togehter."

"Nathalie let me up."

She does, resting her weight down so she's sat beside him as he sits up.

"It's time for me to tell you something I should have told you long ago," He says.

"Oh my god," Nathalie says, "you're married."

"What? No- I mean I was, but no- not anymore."

"Divorced?"

"Widowed."

"Oh. Is that why you're so worried about the Supreme targeting me?"

"Part of it. But I've already made you a target. Revealing my identity so we can date in the open might actually help. It'll remove changes to you to seen with Betterfly."

"You want to reveal your identity."

"I don't think I can do otherwise." Nerves almost get the better of him but, "Light wings fall."

When the glow of his transformation falls Nathalie is staring at him, her eyes seeming impossibly large.

"Oh my god." She says.

"Ah. You had no suspicions then."

"Gabriel Agreste," she yelps, "you- why?"

"That's-"

"No no no no no," she pulls at the roots of her hair.

"Is it that bad?"

"Bad? It's a nightmare! I've been sleeping with my boss, and said boss whom I'm meant to be keeping alive despite his total lack of self-preservation is Betterfly which means that The Supreme is currently targeting them, and Adrien is gong to lose another parent, and oh god Adrien- I told him not to think anything of you flirting with people, that you were just doing what the brand needed and that you'd never replace his mother and I was sleeping with you all that time. He's going to hate me. More than he already does."

"I don't think that-"

"And now I can't even be cross at you when you disappear anymore because I know what you're doing and it is important after all."

"But- aside from that, are you alright with it? It being me."

Nathalie makes a gesture with her hand, "you're asking that now?"

"In my defence. You did agree to date a man in a mask knowing I could be anyone."

"Yes. But funnily enough my boss who could literally have asked me out anytime wasn't on that list."

"Would you have said yes?"

"What do you think idiot? It's not like you and Betterfly are exactly oppostes in...anything is it?"

"Oh."

"I'm joining your Resistance thing by the way. Someone has to stop you from getting yourself killed."

[hopeluna-archived]

Don't hide that smile!

□ Request: Hi! I have a request for obey me but I'd like to remain anonymous, how about a mc who hides their teeth and wears a face mask to hide them? It's alright if you cant do all, just at least leviathan if you can, thank you :)

□ Characters: Leviathan, Simeon, Satan x gn!reader

□ Genre: fluff, comfort?

□ A/N: I wanted to do four characters but my brain legit couldn't come up with shit, also I kinda bullshitted on Satan's part sorry but here you go anon, I hope you like it <3

M.list

Leviathan

At first, Levi really just thought that you might have an allergy and simply let it be. But as your relantionship progressed and you spend more and more time with each other he began to question it.

He won't say anything at first, afraid to make you uncomfortable in any way but when one day you two were playing a game together and you had grinned as the "you win" flashed on the screen.

Levi just sort of blurted it out when you brought a hand up to cover your smile. And when you looked at him in confusion? Oh how he wished the ground would just swallow him up whole.

When you tell him that you are kinda insecure of your teeth, this demon is confusion. Why would you not like your teeth? They look perfectly fine to him. In fact, he loves when you smile, not that he would ever admit to that.

But from then, Levi tries to get you to smile more, even if it comes at the price of embarassing himself. Oh and if any idiot tries to make a negative remark about your smile or teeth? Levi has the power of god and anime on his side and he will defend you to the end.

Satan

Similar to Levi, Satan didn't question it but from all his observing, he did have a theory in his mind that you didn't quite like your smile. As you relationship blossoms into something more, he starts observing more and more.

How you hid your smile or covered your mouth with your hand when you laughed. And Satan, not surprisingly, directly asked you about it. His mind was itching to figure out this habit of yours.

When you tell him that its 'cause you don't like your teeth very much, he has hundreds of questions on the tip of his tongue. Questions, which he chooses not to ask you all at once in case it overwhelms you.

Satan will specifically ask the question "did someone tell you something to make you feel that way?", 'cause if the answer is yes then Adrien Agreste here is ready to commit homicide.

But aside from that, he'll help you overcome this little by little, with always being by your side through it all.

Simeon

Ever so observing towards the tiniest little things, Simeon quickly picks up on the habit of yours. Of course, he understands that everybody has their insecurities but it doesn't change the fact that he is severely confused why you don't like that smile of yours.

To him, it brighten ups the room and his heart when he sees you smile or laugh. Simeon doesn't exactly outright talk to you about it for a long time, instead opting to drive your insecurities away subtly.

Like when you don't cover up your laugh or smile 'cause you're just too distracted, Simeon will give you the most lovesick expression and in the softest voice, tell you how beautiful your smile is which in turn makes your cheeks heat up.

When he finally talks to you about it, its when you once again go to cover your smile with your hand and Simeon's own hand, without thinking, reaches up to take your hand and hold it gently in his.

To him, there is nothing more serene than seeing the love of his life,his angel be happy and smiling. And though no matter how much time it takes for you to come to terms with it, Simeon will be there to say it a thousand times over and over if he needs to.

───────────

Comments and reblogs are appreciated!! Do not repost or claim as yours though, its not cool.

[wisteriasymphony]

Inceldrien!AU - Dead on Arrival

(co-written by @pyrusinc )

DISCLAIMER: offensive and derogatory language, homophobic slurs. These guys are 4channers.

“Fuck you, you— dumb bucket of festering discharge!”

A silence cut through the room, slaughtering the tension with it. As the argument laid dead and bleeding on the floor, Adrien looked into Claudia’s eyes for what might’ve been the first time. 

“…You’ve read Homestuck?” He asked. 

They somehow spoke it in unison: “Past me is the dumbest bucket of festering discharge I ever fell ass backwards into.”

A few more breaths as they studied each other. Then, Adrien sat back down on his couch. He felt like he was going to fall over, maybe even through the floor. Suddenly he had no clue where he was, or what he was doing. And yet he was curious.

“You didn’t tell me you read Homestuck.”

Her tone matched his in its humble honesty. “You never asked,” she confessed, sitting down beside him. “How far along are you?”

For what had to have been a good half an hour, Adrien had the first real conversation in his life about something he was interested in. Gabriel would never really be able to understand half of the things that Adrien could talk about anyways, and it wasn’t like people were ever clamoring for these sorts of opinions from him. All of his accumulated knowledge of Homestuck and MLP and such could only ever be expressed on image boards or forums, and it was only now that he realized it felt so much better to say these things out loud. He was making her laugh—He, Adrien Agreste, was able to make someone laugh from something he said!—and she was responding enthusiastically, like she knew everything he wanted to say before he could even think it himself. He leaned back onto the couch as he kept talking about the best classpects, Claudia would lean back as well and prop up her chin with her hand, and for a moment she even tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and he noticed it as it happened.

 It was only as Adrien reached for his Mountain Dew that he realized just how wrong and stupid and disgusting this was. Why of all things did he have to be enjoying her company? Claudia’s company?

He set down his drink as soon as he picked it up, turning his face away from hers. Adrien didn’t want to make it clear that he was panicking. 

“Get out,” he interrupted in the middle of one of her sentences that he wasn’t even listening to anyways. “You should go.”

Claudia’s words caught in her throat. Goddamn her for letting her guard down, for actually letting herself talk to Adrien. There was no reason to even be upset, and yet there she was, body suddenly numb as she scrambled to figure out just what she said that Adrien was suddenly so mad about. It’s not like she had a reason to care anyways—Why the hell would she ever give a shit about what he felt? It wasn’t like she was having a good time, that simply wasn’t possible. At best, Claudia was humoring that idiot, there was no way she was enjoying herself, there was no way that she found his smile something worth looking at when he talked. Adrien Agreste was the most irritating, pathetic, retarded putrid fuckwad she had ever met in her life. And it was a blessing that he was finally cognizant enough to give her the chance to leave that she’d clearly been itching for, even if it didn’t feel right to stand up after sitting still for all that time. 

So it didn’t catch her off guard. Nor did it hurt.

“Fine,” she spat back, grabbing her things. “I’ll go. You’re an asshole anyways.”

Adrien knew that Claudia could’ve shut the door harder, maybe even slammed it shut. But despite that... it was the loudest he’d ever heard that door get shut in his life. The last echoes of it lingered for hours after she was gone. 

—

There was a certain silence that fell over the places the two would normally argue. The traffic died down significantly over the next week, as if a solemn understanding had somehow made its way through without actually being shared, and the whole site was in an awkward phase of mourning. Claudia stopped posting entirely, and that included her short stories—no creepypastas, no jokes, no snide retellings of conversations. She knew he’d be able to read anything she posted, no matter where it was, and that sucked out all of the joy. Adrien made it clear he didn’t want to hear her thoughts, so she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing her share them. Radio silence. 

Adrien would click through every board until his fingers ached. General, Paranormal, Music, Anime, News and Politics—Somewhere there had to be something. The faintest whisper of activity, a muttered comment or snide chatter of her voice, something she would try to hide from him in vain. Adrien couldn't tell exactly why he felt this pain in his chest as his search continued to draw blanks. He felt like shit, but there was no reason for it. No justification for that gnawing, rolling discomfort settling in his stomach that made it impossible for him to focus on himself or even get up from his chair: Adrien had every right to kick her out. He couldn't put a finger on the cause of the pain, but he could put his fingers on his keyboard. And so he continued to look. Not eating, not sleeping. Just searching for something.

Click, click, click. 

He doesn’t want to admit he knows, but he does. Maybe the screen will eventually burn through his retinas and he won’t have to put effort into thinking about why that flash of hurt across her face when her mouth snapped shut mid-sentence wouldn’t exit his mind. Maybe the ache in his fingers will distract from the image of her hands (which had been animatedly gesturing the entire conversation in what can’t be cute, but instead the most annoying thing in the world) suddenly freezing and falling to her lap. Maybe he’ll just die on the spot from all this, and he won’t think about missing her presence. 

He wasn’t going to apologize.

He wasn’t going to apologize.

He wasn’t going to apologize.

intothetrash@aol.com sorry. -a.a. creepytan@aol.com i don’t want to talk to you

Adrien found it hard to look at the screen. It was just an arrangement of pixels. Letting out a sharp breath, his fingers flew to the keys without really even thinking. 

I SHOULD BE THE ONE WHO DOESNT WANT TO FUCKING TALK TO YOU CUNT YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN ACT LIKE THAT?? DO YOU HEAR YOUR STUPID FUCKING SELF?? YOU FUCK WITH ME LIKE THIS ALL THE GODDAMN TIME THIS IS CALLED KARMA YOU DUMB FUCKING SLUT

Delete, delete, delete. The cursor flew back to where it was, erasing everything. Adrien took his hands off the keyboard and clutched his head, sighing as his palms dug into his eyes. 

He didn’t actually think any of that. None of it was true, and he didn’t have it in him to convince himself otherwise. It wasn’t her fault that she made him feel so horrible, even if he wanted to want to feel that way. Adrien just felt so tired staring at the screen, at those seven little words—“I don’t want to talk to you”, so much stupid pain somehow in just seven words!—and he couldn’t understand why, not consciously. In his gut he could feel the reason, though. He did deserve to feel like shit for what he said, and for everything he’d ever said to her. Adrien had called her names, berated and belittled her, insulted her very existence. It was only the crime of causing that distraught look on her face that brought even the notion of wrongdoing to him. Somehow, he’d been horrible to her so many times, and it was all fine? It didn’t mean anything tangible. It was fun.

There was nothing fun about the way the light in her eyes dimmed.

intothetrash@aol.com i deserve that. but you can still talk -a.a. intothetrash@aol.com even if it's not to me. -a.a.

God, as if she needed his fucking permission for shit. Did he really think that everything she did online, anything anyone ever did online, was just for his entertainment? She wrote for herself, damnit, not some greasy failure who thought the world revolved around him just cause his daddy brought home a big paycheck. If she wanted to get off the internet forever, she could, and Adrien wouldn’t be able to do shit about it. Claudia wasn’t just going to give him more of her stuff to look over just because he was so benevolent as to approve it. 

But also, if this was the first time he’d ever apologized for something in his life, Claudia could believe it. When would anybody ever ask for an apology from Adrien Agreste, heir to the multimillion enterprise that was Maison de Mode Gabriel? Claudia couldn’t imagine him in a positon where he was required to repent. Plus, given his caustic personality, it’s not like he’d ever freely debase himself with an apology to any random person… So what did it say about him, about her, that he was willing to reach out on his own like that? Make an entirely new email just to reach out to her?

And, well… what did it say about her that she’d even checked? She rarely used creepytan@aol anymore. How did she know that it was him?

creepytan@aol.com ok

She just wouldn’t think about it too much. Maybe it was sweet, in some twisted way, but that didn’t have to mean something to her. It was nice to just be able to breathe again, to post the next creepypasta she’d been holding onto for a few days now. Claudia knew he’d probably be one of the first to see it, maybe even within seconds, but that wasn’t necessarily a new thing. Obviously Adrien had been stalking through her shit online. That was how their whole shtick went. As she cues up the Paranormal board, Claudia decides she doesn’t care if he sees her talk again. Whether she believes herself is a different story, a story she doesn’t want to listen to. Either way, the boards are revived, and traffic flows once more on those shared spaces. There’s a silent sigh of relief, all in understood unison, by the denizens of those foul internet crannies that the silence was over.

Still, though... something must have happened. It’s unusual for Creepytan and Richfag to not cross paths for this long. Minutes, hours, then days. The concept is unthinkable: They’re practically all over each other, like rabid dogs clamped shut on the other’s tail, running around in circles. They’re both posting, sure, but there’s been no interaction…

File: [wtf.png] CREEPYTAN V RICHFAG LOLFEST DEAD?  Anonymous 02/10/12 No.275607 >bros >wtf happened